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mostlysignssomeportents · 8 months ago

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Utah’s getting some of America’s best broadband

TOMORROW (May 17), I'm at the INTERNET ARCHIVE in SAN FRANCISCO to keynote the 10th anniversary of the AUTHORS ALLIANCE.

Residents of 21 cities in Utah have access to some of the fastest, most competitively priced broadband in the country, at speeds up to 10gb/s and prices as low as $75/month. It's uncapped, and the connections are symmetrical: perfect for uploading and downloading. And it's all thanks to the government.

This broadband service is, of course, delivered via fiber optic cable. Of course it is. Fiber is vastly superior to all other forms of broadband delivery, including satellites, but also cable and DSL. Fiber caps out at 100tb/s, while cable caps out at 50gb/s – that is, fiber is 1,000 times faster:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/10/why-fiber-vastly-superior-cable-and-5g

Despite the obvious superiority of fiber, America has been very slow to adopt it. Our monopolistic carriers act as though pulling fiber to our homes is an impossible challenge. All those wires that currently go to your house, from power-lines to copper phone-lines, are relics of a mysterious, fallen civilization and its long-lost arts. Apparently we could no more get a new wire to your house than we could build the pyramids using only hand-tools.

In a sense, the people who say we can't pull wires anymore are right: these are relics of a lost civilization. Specifically, electrification and later, universal telephone service was accomplished through massive federal grants under the New Deal – grants that were typically made to either local governments or non-profit co-operatives who got everyone in town connected to these essential modern utilities.

Today – thanks to decades of neoliberalism and its dogmatic insistence that governments can't do anything and shouldn't try, lest they break the fragile equilibrium of the market – we have lost much of the public capacity that our grandparents took for granted. But in the isolated pockets where this capacity lives on, amazing things happen.

Since 2015, residents of Jackson County, KY – one of the poorest counties in America – have enjoyed some of the country's fastest, cheapest, most reliable broadband. The desperately poor Appalachian county is home to a rural telephone co-op, which grew out of its rural electrification co-op, and it used a combination of federal grants and local capacity to bring fiber to every home in the county, traversing dangerous mountain passes with a mule named "Ole Bub" to reach the most remote homes. The result was an immediately economic uplift for the community, and in the longer term, the county had reliable and effective broadband during the covid lockdowns:

https://www.newyorker.com/tech/annals-of-technology/the-one-traffic-light-town-with-some-of-the-fastest-internet-in-the-us

Contrast this with places where the private sector has the only say over who gets broadband, at what speed, and at what price. America is full of broadband deserts – deserts that strand our poorest people. Even in the hearts of our largest densest cities, whole neighborhoods can't get any broadband. You won't be surprised to learn that these are the neighborhoods that were historically redlined, and that the people who live in them are Black and brown, and also live with some of the highest levels of pollution and its attendant sicknesses:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/10/flicc/#digital-divide

These places are not set up for success under the best of circumstances, and during the lockdowns, they suffered terribly. You think your kid found it hard to go to Zoom school? Imagine what life was like for kids who attended remote learning while sitting on the baking tarmac in a Taco Bell parking lot, using its free wifi:

https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2020/09/02/elem-s02.html

ISPs loathe competition. They divide up the country into exclusive territories like the Pope dividing up the "new world" and do not trouble one another by trying to sell to customers outside of "their" turf. When Frontier – one of the worst of America's terrible ISPs – went bankrupt, we got to see their books, and we learned two important facts:

The company booked one million customers who had no alternative as an asset, because they would pay more for slower broadband, and Frontier could save a fortune by skipping maintenance, and charging these customers for broadband even through multi-day outages; and

Frontier knew that it could make a billion dollars in profit over a decade by investing in fiber build-out, but it chose not to, because stock analysts will downrank any carrier that made capital investments that took more than five years to mature. Because Frontier's execs were paid primarily in stock, they chose to strand their customers with aging copper connections and to leave a billion dollars sitting on the table, so that their personal net worth didn't suffer a temporary downturn:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/04/frontiers-bankruptcy-reveals-cynical-choice-deny-profitable-fiber-millions

ISPs maintain the weirdest position: that a) only the private sector can deliver broadband effectively, but b) to do so, they'll need massive, unsupervised, no-strings-attached government handouts. For years, America went along with this improbable scheme, which is why Trump's FCC chairman Ajit Pai gave the carriers $45 billion in public funds to string slow, 19th-century-style copper lines across rural America:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/27/all-broadband-politics-are-local/

Now, this is obviously untrue, and people keep figuring out that publicly provisioned broadband is the only way for America to get the same standard of broadband connectivity that our cousins in other high-income nations enjoy. In order to thwart the public's will, the cable and telco lobbyists joined ALEC, the far-right, corporatist lobbying shop, and drafted "model legislation" banning cities and counties from providing broadband, even in places the carriers chose not to serve:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/19/culture-war-bullshit-stole-your-broadband/

Red states across America adopted these rules, and legislators sold this to their base by saying that this was just "keeping the government out of their internet" (even as every carrier relied on an exclusive, government-granted territorial charter, often with massive government subsidies).

ALEC didn't target red states exclusively because they had pliable, bribable conservative lawmakers. Red states trend rural, and rural places are the most likely sites for public fiber. Partly, that's because low-density areas are harder to make a business case for, but also because these are also the places that got electricity and telephone through New Deal co-ops, which are often still in place.

Just about the only places in America where people like their internet service are the 450+ small towns where the local government provides fiber. These places vote solidly Republican, and it was their beloved conservative lawmakers whom ALEC targeted to enact laws banning their equally beloved fiber – keep voting for Christmas, turkeys, and see where it gets you:

https://communitynets.org/content/community-network-map

But spare a little sympathy for the conservative movement here. The fact that reality has a pronounced leftist bias must be really frustrating for the ideological project of insisting that anything the market can't provide is literally impossible.

Which brings me back to Utah, a red state with a Republican governor and legislature, and a national leader in passing unconstitutional, unhinged, unworkable legislation as part of an elaborate culture war kabuki:

https://www.npr.org/2023/03/24/1165975112/utah-passes-an-age-verification-law-for-anyone-using-social-media

For more than two decades, a coalition of 21 cities in Utah have been building out municipal fiber. The consortium calls itself UTOPIA: "Utah Telecommunication Open Infrastructure Agency":

https://www.utopiafiber.com/faqs/

UTOPIA pursues a hybrid model: they run "open access" fiber and then let anyone offer service over it. This can deliver the best of both worlds: publicly provisioned, blazing-fast fiber to your home, but with service provided by your choice of competing carriers. That means that if Moms for Liberty captures you local government, you're not captive to their ideas about what sites your ISP should block.

As Karl Bode writes for Techdirt, Utahns in UTOPIA regions have their choice of 18 carriers, and competition has driven down prices and increased speeds. Want uncapped 1gb fiber? That's $75/month. Want 10gb fiber? That's $150:

https://www.techdirt.com/2024/05/15/utah-locals-are-getting-cheap-10-gbps-fiber-thanks-to-local-governments/

UTOPIA's path to glory wasn't an easy one. The dismal telco monopolists Qwest and Lumen sued to put them out of business, delaying the rollout by years:

https://www.deseret.com/2005/7/22/19903471/utopia-responds-to-qwest-lawsuit/

UTOPIA has been profitable and self-sustaining for over 15 years and shows no sign of slowing. But 17 states still ban any attempt at this.

Keeping up such an obviously bad policy requires a steady stream of distractions and lies. The "government broadband doesn't work" lie has worn thin, so we've gotten a string of new lies about wireless service, insisting that fiber is obviated by point-to-point microwave relays, or 5g, or satellite service.

There's plenty of places where these services make sense. You're not going to be able to use fiber in a moving car, so yeah, you're going to want 5g (and those 5g towers are going to need to be connected to each other with fiber). Microwave relay service can fill the gap until fiber can be brought in, and it's great for temporary sites (especially in places where it doesn't rain, because rain, clouds, leaves and other obstructions are deadly for microwave relays). Satellite can make sense for an RV or a boat or remote scientific station.

But wireless services are orders of magnitude slower than fiber. With satellite service, you share your bandwidth with an entire region or even a state. If there's only a couple of users in your satellite's footprint, you might get great service, but when your carrier adds a thousand more customers, your connection is sliced into a thousand pieces.

That's also true for everyone sharing your fiber trunk, but the difference is that your fiber trunk supports speeds that are tens of thousands of times faster than the maximum speeds we can put through freespace electromagnetic spectrum. If we need more fiber capacity, we can just fish a new strand of fiber through the conduit. And while you can increase the capacity of wireless by increasing your power and bandwidth, at a certain point you start pump so much EM into the air that birds start falling out of the sky.

Every wireless device in a region shares the same electromagnetic spectrum, and we are only issued one such spectrum per universe. Each strand of fiber, by contrast, has its own little pocket universe, containing a subset of that spectrum.

Despite all its disadvantages, satellite broadband has one distinct advantage, at least from an investor's perspective: it can be monopolized. Just as we only have one electromagnetic spectrum, we also only have one sky, and the satellite density needed to sustain a colorably fast broadband speed pushes the limit of that shared sky:

https://spacenews.com/starlink-vs-the-astronomers/

Private investors love monopoly telecoms providers, because, like pre-bankruptcy Frontier, they are too big to care. Back in 2021, Altice – the fourth-largest cable operator in America – announced that it was slashing its broadband speeds, to be "in line with other ISPs":

https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/27/immortan-altice/#broadband-is-a-human-right

In other words: "We've figured out that our competitors are so much worse than we are that we are deliberately degrading our service because we know you will still pay us the same for less."

This is why corporate shills and pro-monopolists prefer satellite to municipal fiber. Sure, it's orders of magnitude slower than fiber. Sure, it costs subscribers far more. Sure, it's less reliable. But boy oh boy is it profitable.

The thing is, reality has a pronounced leftist bias. No amount of market magic will conjure up new electromagnetic spectra that will allow satellite to attain parity with fiber. Physics hates Starlink.

Yeah, I'm talking about Starlink. Of course I am. Elon Musk basically claims that his business genius can triumph over physics itself.

That's not the only vast, impersonal, implacable force that Musk claims he can best with his incredible reality-distortion field. Musk also claims that he can somehow add so many cars to the road that he will end traffic – in other words, he will best geometry too:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/09/herbies-revenge/#100-billion-here-100-billion-there-pretty-soon-youre-talking-real-money

Geometry hates Tesla, and physics hates Starlink. Reality has a leftist bias. The future is fiber, and public transit. These are both vastly preferable, more efficient, safer, more reliable and more plausible than satellite and private vehicles. Their only disadvantage is that they fail to give an easily gulled, thin-skinned compulsive liar more power over billions of people. That's a disadvantage I can live with.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/16/symmetrical-10gb-for-119/#utopia

Image: 4028mdk09 (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Rote_LED_Fiberglasleuchte.JPG

CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

#pluralistic #fiber #broadband #physics #public goods #utah #utopia #red states #ole bub

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oldguardleatherdog · 3 days ago

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I would like to know more about pup history!

Well, hello, and thanks for asking! Sorry it took a while to respond.

Pup Play as we know it today got its start in 1986 at the International Mr. Leather gathering in Chicago when the partner of a leather artist at the Vendor Market, who showed up in a full-body leather pup suit and a mask crafted by a saddlemaker, started bouncing around the place barking and howling and humping the leather guys as they browsed the whips and chains on display-

-as a protest against the hardcore stoic impenetrable macho attitude that was prevalent among leathermen in those days - the standing joke was that "S&M" stood for "Stand & Model" - breaking through their poser facade, forcing them to interact and engage in a way that was just too cute and endearing to ignore or resist.

Pup Play began as an act of protest at the biggest leather gathering of the year against a cultural and institutional barrier to communication and connection. One guy - one dog - broke through that barrier, and nearly four decades later there are thousands of people around the world who pull on a pup hood and hit the ground or the mats or the dance floor barking up a storm, expressing ourselves in ways that are free and full, in a spirit of joy that at its best can transcend roleplay and allow us to experience, however briefly, "the time when the divorce between human and animal was not yet complete." (Mircea Eliade, Shamanism: Archaic Techniques of Ecstasy, Princeton University Press, 1972)

That guy, "Ranger", who's a good friend and a real sweetheart, is still active in the scene here in San Francisco and is our "First Pup", the original (and best!). A year later, almost to the day, I came out as a gay man - and when I came out, I came out barking. The man who put me on all fours for the first time was the man who brought me out, my first and only Leather Daddy who set me on this wild path that became a life's work.

I'm Pup Number Two, 37 years on all fours. I taught the first Pup Play workshop on record (San Francisco, August 1997), where I presented the first Trainer/Handler curriculum to a leather audience for use and adaptation, conducted numerous clinics, demos, and performances for groups and clubs across the United States, and showed hundreds of kinksters of all ages and genders how they could find, embrace, and express their "inner canine." Over the past year, I've been giving my presentation/lecture on Pup History online and IRL for pup-and-handler groups; it's been well received and is being expanded with new research from the field for 2025.

For several years Ranger and I were the only ones doing this radical fringe weird thing that was viewed as disgusting and sick and immoral by the leather and kink community, vilified so strongly that for the first decade those of us who practiced this kink did so mostly underground, communicating through word-of-mouth and personal ads in magazines, because if it got around that we liked to bark in the sack we'd have been thrown out of the community as sickos who were barely a step above actual bestialists (a slur that has never been true of our practice or those who practice it).

In the US and Canada from 1986 to 1997, there were only about a dozen known pup players - researchers including myself are actively searching for others from that long-ago time if they even existed - and we had to fight like hell for years to be open about the kink that we loved and to be able to express ourselves openly in this way. That's surprising to many given the popularity of Pup Play today, but it took a lot of hardcore commitment in the face of opposition to get us out from the shadows and into the light of day.

I hope this is a good introduction to our history and that I've expressed it well enough to satisfy your initial curiosity! There's much more, of course, so if there are any particular areas you're curious about, let me know, awoo!

Thank you for asking. "Beast wishes" to you for a happy and humpy New Year!

Woofs + wags, Alpha Pup Bruzr

#information gladly given #animal j. smith #pup play #gay pup #pup history #pup play community #san francisco pup scene #ranger dawg #pup as protest

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astroa3h · 1 month ago

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How Pluto Entering Aquarius Will Shape the Next Two Decades

Hold onto your hats, because the cosmos just handed us a front-row ticket to the most exhilarating and unsettling ride of the century. Pluto, the planet of transformation, power, and those deep, dark truths we’d rather shove under the rug, is strutting into Aquarius, the sign of innovation, rebellion, and humanity’s collective future. This isn’t just a cosmic shuffle. It’s a full-blown revolution that will flip the script on every corner of life as we know it. We’re talking society, technology, relationships, and yes, your personal universe. This not your average astrological transit.

Pluto doesn’t mess around. This is the planet of the phoenix, meaning if something isn’t working, it’s about to burn down to ashes. But don’t panic. Aquarius isn’t here to destroy for the sake of destruction. This air sign is the visionary genius, the tech whiz, the humanitarian. Together, they’re rewriting the rules of the game. Think of it like a power wash for your life and our world, a little messy at first, but ultimately freeing. For the next 19 years, expect seismic shifts in how we connect as a species. Aquarius rules technology and social systems, so the digital landscape will explode with changes. In terms of astrology predictions, AI won’t just be a cool tool; it’s going to reshape the job market, education, and even how we understand what it means to be human. If you’ve been clinging to outdated ways of working or communicating, Pluto is here to snap you out of it. The advice? Embrace the new. Learn, adapt, grow. That app you’re too stubborn to download could end up being the key to your next career move.

Power structures are about to collapse. Pluto in Aquarius doesn’t tolerate inequality, corruption, or anything that reeks of the old guard clinging to control. Governments, corporations, and even social hierarchies are in for a rude awakening. On a personal level, ask yourself where you’ve been giving your power away. Is it to a boss who doesn’t value you? A partner who keeps you small? A habit that numbs your potential? Pluto is here to tear those chains apart. But it’s on you to step into the freedom that follows. Of course, there’s a shadow side. Aquarius can be cold, detached, even ruthless in its pursuit of the greater good. Be wary of losing yourself in groupthink or tech dependency. Just because the world is speeding up doesn’t mean you have to lose touch with your own humanity. Make time for real conversations, face-to-face connections, and grounding rituals. This isn’t just a suggestion.

It’s a survival tool for navigating the chaos.

And let’s talk relationships. Traditional bonds might feel stifling under this influence. Aquarius loves independence and freedom, so if you’re in a situation that feels too confining, it’s time to shake things up. This doesn’t mean running for the hills every time someone asks for commitment. But it does mean being honest about what you need to thrive. Maybe that’s more space, or maybe it’s a complete reimagining of what love looks like for you. Just know this: Pluto doesn’t do surface-level. Any connection that’s shallow, fake, or rooted in outdated ideals is going to crumble. And that’s a good thing. This is also a time to dream big, no, bigger. Aquarius is the sign of invention and radical ideas. If you’ve been sitting on a creative project, a business idea, or a vision for your future, Pluto is giving you a cosmic green light. But there’s a catch. You can’t just dream it; you have to build it. Aquarius is innovative, yes, but it’s also fiercely logical. It’s about using your genius to create something real. So, roll up your sleeves. Get to work. You have a 19-year runway to make something extraordinary.

But remember, transformation isn’t a one-and-done event. Pluto moves slowly, digging deep into the cracks we don’t want to see. There will be moments when it feels too intense, too overwhelming. That’s when you lean into the Aquarian gift of vision. What kind of future do you want to build? What kind of person do you want to become? Keep your eyes on the horizon, even when the ground shakes beneath your feet. Pluto in Aquarius isn’t just a transit. It’s a call to action. It’s a demand to evolve. The world is changing, fast. And the question isn’t whether you’ll adapt. It’s whether you’ll rise to meet the opportunity. The universe believes you can. Now it’s your turn to believe it too.

Sending you all my love and blessings,

Ash (@AstroA3h via Instagram & TikTok)

✨💓

Ready for your own personal reading?

Visit astroash.net to book yours today!

#astrology #astrology readings #astrology aspects #natal chart #astrologer #astro observations #astro community #pluto #age of aquarius #aquarius #daily astrology #astrology community #astro placements #zodiac #zodiac signs #astrology signs

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usedpidemo · 3 months ago

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Commissions version 2.0 (Rules and FAQ, plus some very important housekeeping).

Let's do this again.

Buy Me A Coffee. Ko-fi.

You may request here. Or here.

Unless specifically requested, all stories are NSFW and therefore only idols over the age of 18 are eligible. Don’t ask for minors and don’t even bother trying; this will result in an instant block.

Most kinks are eligible to be written, otherwise please ask first before requesting. I am willing to write non-vanilla material provided it isn’t unethical or morally wrong. This does mean, however, that I will not be writing the following due to their graphic nature:

Non-con/Dub-con

Racial/raceplay

Bestiality

Omegaverse (this is more due to lack of knowledge rather)

Scat

For anything else, please message me first before moving forward with your request.

I will write for most K-pop groups/idols, especially mainstream ones, but feel free to ask whether I can write yours. (I can extend this to allow for non K-pop idols, singers and different celebrities like actors as well, please just don’t give me real non-famous people like your IRLs and other familiars.)

Learning from last time: I cannot give you a proper delivery date, at best only a range/period. In addition to my real life obligations, writing is an incredibly volatile hobby. Sometimes inspiration hits, sometimes it does not. However, you can inquire about the status of your commission through DMs for an update. Full transparency: your commission will have equal precedence as my ideas/work.

We follow a strong mutual code of trust between strangers. I will not acknowledge or reveal personal information from your side provided you do the same with mine. This includes your real name, your email, and any other personal details that may be compromised during this transaction. Your name (real or username) will not be openly disclosed during the public release of your commission.

No refunds. By reading this, it is understood that you have read my previous work and have entrusted me to write to my quality standards. I will do my best to fulfill as much of your request as possible to the best of my abilities.

While you are free to provide as much information and detail regarding your commission, creative liberties may be taken to produce the final product.

Likewise, I have final authority in regards to your commission’s public release and where it may be posted. I will post a link to your fic that will be stored in my Masterlist post.

Communication will be done primarily through my Tumblr blog (usedpidemo) or on Discord (pipipipi). If you’re on Twitter/X, request a follow first before messaging me there (@DoctorPenApp1n).

—————

Full transparency, I genuinely don't know how long I have left. My family and I have been going through some very difficult times lately, but especially financially. Our family business hasn't been doing well ever since the mall closed off the parking area where our shop resides, consequently reducing our exposure visibility to the general public. We don't have the capital to buy for marketing materials like posters and flyers. It's been a rough month for us sales wise. There's talks of our store having to shut down if this keeps getting worse before the construction may be completed sometime in 2025.

We're just barely getting by. We've had our power cut twice already because of late payments. We've lost running water once. Not to mention we're still behind on dues to the mall for letting us rent out the space, the suppliers, the employees working for us. There's so much we have to pay, and right now, our revenue is not enough. At this point, we're only banking on a miracle to save us from complete financial ruin. Hell, I don't even know if we can even afford basic necessities in the near future. This includes the internet and my education, which sucks because I'm so—so close to graduating and being able to help out in some shape or form.

I'm telling you all this because it means I'll be forced to let go of stuff that I'm genuinely passionate about. Finding a job in this economy is already fucking difficult for anyone, let alone in this country with horrible pay and inflated living costs. I don't wanna waste hours away at a thankless job I'm clearly not fit for, and I might as well spend that energy on something I have some experience in. I will deal with burnout when I get to that point; right now it's about making the most of whatever resources I have currently to live another day.

I am not requiring you to feel sympathy for me or asking for free money. I know that you have bigger priorities than to show care for some random person on the internet. But even just a reblog to spread the word is more than enough. I seriously cannot be here without your continued, unwavering patience and support even after three years doing this. I know I'm not the best, but I certainly am trying.

With that said, all my content will remain freely accessible regardless. If it's in my masterlist, it can be read. Thank you—thank you—so much for reading.

#update #commissions open #fanfic commissions #smut commissions

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thehomelybrewster · 9 months ago

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1d8 "Free" Fantasy RPGs To Replace 5e At Your Table

D&D 5e sure is a roleplaying game, and it's one that I have enjoyed a lot. However, that doesn't mean that I'd recommend it automatically for other people. This has many reasons, which I won't elaborate here. It has also shaped the perception of TTRPGs significantly thanks to its market dominance, and not in a good way.

5e has a reputation for being an expensive, complex game, and 5e players fear that other RPGs might just be the same. That it's too much of a hassle and too much of a financial burden to switch systems.

So, to help 5e players pick out a different system, I've made this handy 1d8 rolling table to help them pick a fantasy TTRPG with a combat component that they can try instead!

Let's now go through these eight nine RPGs and see what's up with them, right below the "Keep reading" section!

I'll be listing some metrics like the page count for the rulebook(s), the core resolution mechanic, how complex the game is in terms of character creation & combat, and how well-supported the game is by their publisher and the community-at-large.

1. Cairn

Author: Yochai Gal

Release Year: 2020

Cost: Free PDF, printed copies cost between $3 to $10 depending on the print quality.

Page Count: 24

Website: https://cairnrpg.com/

Resolution Mechanic: 1d20 Roll Under system for ability checks/saving throws, attacks hit automatically, "fiction-first".

Action Economy: Movement + one action per round.

Characters: Random character creation, class-less and level-less, advancement based on "Scars" (suffering damage that reduces your HP exactly to 0)

Setting: Implied. Low-magic European-style fantasy; mysterious woodlands.

Other Noteworthy Mechanics: Hit Protection and Ability damage instead of HP, Slot-Based Inventory.

Degree of Support: Very high. Available in fifteen languages (e.g. Spanish, Russian, Chinese, and German); full rules text is under CC-BY-SA 4.0; multiple published third-party adventures & supplements available; some official bonus material (e.g. bestiary, magic items/relics, and spells) is available for free on the website.

Addendum: An expanded 2nd Edition is currently on Kickstarter (ends April 26th 2024); Cairn is legitimately easy to learn, however the Hit Protection system and the connected Scars system is a very different abstraction to health and advancement compared to 5e.

2. Cloud Empress

Author: worlds by watt

Release Year: 2023

Cost: Free PDF of the rulebook and the creator-written sample adventure "Last Voyage of the Bean Barge", $20 for the print edition of the rulebook, $12 for PDF supplements, $25 for print + PDF supplements; free solo rules also available as PDF only.

Page Count: 60

Website: https://cloudempress.com/

Resolution Mechanic: d100 Roll Under system for stat checks/saving throws, critical successes or failures on doubles (11, 22, 33, etc.), 5e-style advantage/disadvantage, attacks generally hit automatically.

Action Economy: Two actions per round with no free movement.

Characters: Semi-random character creation, four classes ("jobs"), no rules for character advancement in the ruleset.

Setting: Specific. "Ecological science fantasy" heavily inspired by Hayao Miyazaki's "Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind"; costly magic, giant insects, dangerous mushrooms; only human player characters.

Other Noteworthy Mechanics: Damage points culminate in Wounds; Wounds and Stress as ways to track your character's physical and mental state; slot-based inventory system.

Degree of Support: Low-ish. Several official supplements exist, however third-party material is very sparse. May improve due to the recent establishment of a Cloud Empress Creators Fund, has a simple 3rd party license system.

Addendum: A supplement, "Cloud Empress: Life & Death" is currently on Kickstarter (ends April 26th 2024, yes, the same day as Cairn 2e) and as a disclaimer I even backed that current Kickstarter; Cloud Empress is built on the engine of the sci-fi horror RPG "Mothership"; clearly built for one-shots and short campaigns; has a wonderful resting system that encourages roleplay between players.

3. Iron Halberd

Author: level2janitor

Release Year: 2023

Cost: Free PDF of the rules; no print option available.

Page Count: 60

Website: https://level2janitor.itch.io/iron-halberd

Resolution Mechanic: 1d20 + Bonus Roll Over system against difficulty or armor rating, however most non-combat-related actions follow a fiction first approach without dice rolls.

Action Economy: Movement + one action per round.

Characters: Semi-random character creation, class-less but there are four different "gear kits" that nudge your character towards certain archetypes, levelling up with XP.

Setting: Essentially non-existant. General European fantasy with magic, gods may or may not exist/shape the world, various fantastic ancestries included.

Other Noteworthy Mechanics: Includes rules for building strongholds and maintaining warbands; slot-based inventory with a durability mechanic.

Degree of Support: None. The game is intended to be relatively compatible with other OSR content and the creator suggests using adventures made for the D&D retroclone Old-School Essentials if you wanna use pre-published ones. An official introductory adventure, "Sea-Spray Bay", is apparently in the works. No 3rd party license available, as far as I know.

Addendum: One thing about Iron Halberd I like especially is how it uses random tables for generating equipment. Most of the equipment is listed in a numerical order by category, and the various gear kits include references on different rolling formulas for those equipment categories. For example someone taking the "soldier's kit" rolls twice on the d20 Weapons table and takes their preferred pick, while someone taking the "sage's kit" only rolls a d4 on that table.

4. Mausritter

Author: Isaac Williams

Release Year: 2020

Cost: Free PDF of the ruleset available; box set with the rules and several goodies including an adventure costs $55; additional box set + PDFs containing eleven official adventures costs $55 (or $20 digital-only).

Page Count: 48

Website: https://mausritter.com/

Resolution Mechanic: 1d20 Roll Under system, 5e-style advantage/disadvantage, attacks always hit.

Action Economy: Movement + one action per round.

Characters: Random character creation, class-less, levelling up with XP.

Setting: Vaguely specific. You play as mice and everything is related to mouse-size; cats are the equivalents of devils or dragons; humans exist as a setting background but may or may not be present in a campaign.

Other Noteworthy Mechanics: Includes rules for recruiting warbands; slot-based inventory with a durability mechanic.

Degree of Support: Very high. Several official supplements exist, as well as loads of content, be it adventures or supplements, made by other creators. Available in seven languages (all of them however are European). Has a simple 3rd party license system.

Addendum: Mausritter uses the phrase "adventure site" instead of dungeons. On the website a free adventure site generator is available, as is a digital tool that can be used to generate your own item cards for the slot-based inventory system.

5. Maze Rats

Author: Ben Milton

Release Year: 2017

Cost: $4.99 for the PDF, no print option regularly available.

Page Count: 32

Website: https://questingbeast.substack.com/

Resolution Mechanic: 2d6 + Bonus Roll Over system; advantage system that uses 3d6 drop the lowest + Bonus.

Action Economy: Movement + one action per round.

Characters: Semi-random character creation, class-less but instead there are character features (e.g. spell slots or attack bonuses), levelling up with XP.

Setting: Essentially non-existant. Magic is very irregular (s. the section below), but otherwise it implies a vaguely European fantasy setting.

Other Noteworthy Mechanics: Spells are randomly generated each adventuring day and spell effects are negotiated between the GM and the spellcasting player; includes several fantastic d66 tables that can be used to randomly generate worlds.

Degree of Support: Decent. The rule text is licensed under CC BY 4.0 and unofficial translations are available. Some third-party content has been made specifically for the game.

Addendum: The only purchase-only game on this list. However "unofficial" distribution of the PDF is very common. Also this is the oldest game on the list. Ben "Questing Beast" Milton is a prolific OSR blogger and runs a YouTube channel on the OSR. Great dude.

6. Sherwood - A Game of Outlaws & Arcana

Author: Richard Ruane

Release Year: 2022

Cost: Free quickstart PDF titled "Sherwood - A Quickstart of Outlaws" available; digital rulebook costs $7.50 and the print edition (including PDF) costs $15.

Page Count: 25 (Quickstart), 32 (Rulebook)

Website: https://www.r-rook.studio/

Resolution Mechanic: 2d6 + Bonus Roll Over system for skill checks (including attacks), 2d6 Roll Under system for saving throws; advantage & disadvantage system that involves rolling 3d6 and using the higher/lower of the two results; almost all rolls are player-facing

Action Economy: "Conversational", assumption of movement + action.

Characters: Largely choice-based character creation. Combine two (of six) background abilities with the benefits of seven different careers. Big focus on interpersonal relationships during character creation. Limited character advancement takes place during downtime.

Setting: Specific. Takes place in a fantastical version of 13th century England, with fey and magic coexisting with outlaws and crusaders.

Other Noteworthy Mechanics: The group of outlaws possesses two shared resources (Resources and Legend) that can be spent to gain certain benefits; spellcasting is divided into two categories: arcane talents and sorcerous rites, with the former being immediate and the later taking significant time; slot-based inventory.

Degree of Support: None. No further publications exist for the game and while it is published under the CC-BY 4.0 license, no third-party content exists as far as I know. It does include a guide on how to convert D&D and Troika (N)PCs into Sherwood characters, as well as three adventure seeds (one in the Quickstart, two in the rules), which is at least something.

Addendum: Might just be the game on this list that encourages the most roleplaying; the character sheet is sadly very provisional-feeling and the Quickstart feels outdated compared to the finalized rulebook.

7. The Electrum Archive

Author: Emiel Boven

Release Year: 2022

Cost: Free Rules PDF available, zines cost $12 as digital PDFs or $24 as print + PDF combos; the first zine contains the entire contents of the Free Rules PDF

Page Count: 26 (Free Rules), 72 (Issue 01)

Website: https://www.electrumarchive.com/

Resolution Mechanic: 1d10 Roll Under system, attacks always hit.

Action Economy: Movement + one action per round.

Characters: Largely choice-based; three archetypes roughly corresponding to fighters/rangers (Vagabonds), rogues (Fixers), and spellcasters (Warlocks); player characters are presumed to be human; levelling up with XP.

Setting: Specific. Mechanics heavily tie into the lore; humanity has abundant access to minerals but requires a rare substance known as Ink to operate certain pieces of tech (like guns) and cast spells but cannot produce Ink themselves; spirits of various sorts can be foes, targets of worship, or sources of power.

Other Noteworthy Mechanics: Uses a spellcasting system for the Warlock archetype that's heavily based on the one used in Maze Rats, as in it uses randomly-generated spells whose effects are negotiated between the player and the GM; slot-based inventory with a durability mechanic.

Degree of Support: Minimal. The game consists out of the free rules and (soon) two zines; a third party license exists but content produced under it is very rare.

Addendum: I need to disclaim that I recently backed the Kickstarter campaign for the second zine for this game; the free rules feature wrong page numbers in its table of contents which is unfortunate; The Electrum Archive uses incredibly simple stats for NPCs which makes creating new ones based on other games rather simple.

8. Shadowdark RPG

Author: Kelsey Dionne

Release Year: 2023

Cost: Free player and game master quickstarts exist as PDFs and are available in print for $19, the core rules cost $28 in PDF form and $57 in a print + PDF bundle

Page Count: 68 (Player Quickstart Guide), 68 (Game Master Quickstart Guide), 332 (Core Rules)

Website: https://www.thearcanelibrary.com/

Resolution Mechanic: 1d20 + Bonus Roll Over system, 5e-style advantage/disadvantage, natural 1s are critical failures and natural 20s are critical successes.

Action Economy: Movement + one action per round.

Characters: Largely choice-based; players have a fantasy ancestry and a class; levelling up with XP; class progression largely random.

Setting: Vague. General (dark) western fantasy conventions apply; alignment is a force in this universe and a sample pantheon is provided; the most potent enemies in the rules are named individuals that fit classic TTRPG monster types; illustrations and lore snippets have recurring motifs.

Other Noteworthy Mechanics: The key mechanic of Shadowdark is how the game handles light, namely that light sources are tracked in real time (i.e. a normal torch lasts 1 hour), which increases tension; slot-based inventory; has a 0th-level character creation option using an eliminationist "Gauntlet".

Degree of Support: Fantastic. Several official supplements and offically sanctioned digital tools exist; lots of third-party content available under a generous third-party license.

Addendum: Definitely the most similar game to 5e on this list besides the next entry; very robust mechanically and the Core Rules features extensive lists of magic items, monsters, and spells; also for early play giving your players only access to the quickstart is a totally valid choice; and finally, before Dionne made Shadowdark, she made 5e adventures for years and it shows (affectionate).

9. Pathfinder

Authors: Logan Bonner, Jason Bulmahn, Stephen Radney-MacFarland, Mark Seifter

Release Year: 2019 (initial release), 2023 (remaster)

Cost: Free and comprehensive SRD available via the platform Archives of Nethys, free "Pathfinder Primer" abridged rulebook available via the Pathfinder Nexus (powered by Demiplane), Core books are priced $20 for PDFs and $30/$60 for print as a softcover/hardcover; a Beginner Box set with shortened soft-cover rules costs $45

Page Count: 464 (Player Core), 336 (GM Core), 376 (Monster Core), 160 (Combined Beginner Box Softcovers)

Website: https://paizo.com/pathfinder

Resolution Mechanic: 1d20 + Bonus Roll Over system, 5e-style advantage/disadvantage, four degrees of success based on result compared to target number.

Action Economy: Three action points per round; various actions may require more than one point; every character can use one reaction per round of combat.

Characters: Choice-based; players first pick an ancestry and a background and a class (the ABCs) and then tend to have meaningful choices after each level-up; levelling up with XP.

Setting: Important. Golarion, the game's setting, is a world that has been long in development and it shows; powerful magic and influential gods; very clear notions of what the societies of the various peoples of the world are like and how they should behave.

Other Noteworthy Mechanics: Balance between character classes and reliable combat challenge calculations are an important design goal; weight-based inventory system; archetype system for "multiclassing".

Degree of Support: Fantastic. Loads of content gets regularly produced by the game's publisher Paizo; the Pathfinder Infinite program (similar to D&D's Dungeon Master's Guild) provides lots of lore-compliant third-party content; uses the ORC third-party license for content produced outside of the Pathfinder Infinite program. Translations into other languages available but Paizo does not provide a comprehensive list of available languages (only German and French confirmed after brief personal research).

Addendum: The most popular and commercially successful of the listed games; but also by far the most complicated, though it is easier to GM for specificallty than 5e; also I dislike how certain feats create situations where fairly mundane actions get mechanics through these feats instead of being things you can generally do; anyway the reason why it's a 9 on a 1d8 table is because if you wanted to try out Pathfinder 2e you already would have and because while Paizo is better than WotC it's still a flawed big company.

...

So this was an exhausting little project. I hope you found this helpful and I hope you give at least one of these games a shot! A follow-up to this post is not out of the cards, but I don't plan on one.

Before we go, have this poll about which of these systems you're most looking forward to try! Shame it can only be open for one week...

#thehomelybrewster #dnd 5e #dnd #indie ttrpg #tabletop roleplaying #ttrpg community #Cairn #Cloud Empress #Iron Halberd #Mausritter #Maze Rats #Dungeons and Dragons #Sherwood #The Electrum Archive #shadowdark #pathfinder

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writing-for-life · 4 months ago

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”But He Loved, He Should Have Been Forgiven”

About Free Will, Responsibility and Agency: Lucifer and Dream as Foils

Did I finally jump on the Lucidream/Dreamingstar bandwagon? No, don’t panic (or be eternally disappointed 🤣), because that quote is actually from “Murder Mysteries”, a short story that also exists in comic form (drawn by P. Craig Russell). And while it isn’t officially part of the Sandman Universe (or even DC), I always saw it as somewhat of a blueprint of how NG (re)imagined Lucifer’s Fall. There is enough in Lucifer’s characterisation in the Sandman that makes it quite plausible as a sort of backstory, especially since it was written when the Sandman was still in full swing. But more about that later…

I’ve long wanted to write a meta about Lucifer and Dream as narrative foils, and since I’ve finally started clearing out my drafts, this was a good one to do right now because we are currently discussing “A Hope in Hell” in our community (join us!). Although I have to admit that this one is rather about what transpires when Lucifer decides to abandon their realm in Season of Mists...

When Lucifer learns of Dream's impending return to Hell to finally release Nada, it solidifies their own resolve to leave (I use they/them pronouns because of the show although comics!Lucifer is male presenting apart from the plumbing and also referred to as he/him). By the time Dream arrives, Hell is nearly deserted, with Lucifer basically expelling its last inhabitants. Lucifer tells Dream they rebelled long ago, and that they are not willing to “pay for that one action” anymore. And the most profound truth they share with Dream is the nature of ultimate freedom—the freedom to leave. This is also brought up many issues later, when Lucifer says to Delirium, "I told him, you know. I told him years ago… I told him that I owed him much for having given me the impetus to go. I told him there was always freedom, even the ultimate freedom. The freedom to leave. You don't have to stay anywhere forever.”

And that’s just… ouch. Not just because it so clearly shows that Morpheus also could have left had he just chosen to (then again, he wouldn’t be Morpheus if he had, and even more “then again”: he did in certain ways), but also because we generally see Lucifer as an antagonistic force. But here, they express something akin to gratefulness. And maybe even a hint of regret that Morpheus didn’t also choose the same way. They feel almost sorry for him (my guess is they actually do, and I can never forget their face at The Wake). But what do you do if even freedom feels like a cage?

All of this ties in neatly with the crucial truth about Hell Lucifer reveals: People are there because they choose to be (and that Hell doesn’t need to be a physical place: We can make our own—any place, even in our own minds).

...this is where you wanted to be.

Lucifer explains to Dream:

"Why do they blame me for all their little failings? They use my name as if I spend my entire day sitting on their shoulders, forcing them to commit acts they would otherwise find repulsive. 'The Devil made me do it.' I have never made one of them do anything. Never. They live their own tiny lives. I do not live their lives for them.”

He continues, “and then they die, and they come here (having transgressed against what they believed to be right), and expect us to fulfil their desire for pain and retribution. I don't make them come here. They talk of me going around and buying souls, like a fishwife come market day, never stopping to ask themselves why. I need no souls. And how can anyone own a soul? No.

They belong to themselves… they just hate to face up to it.”

Which brings me to one of the most important messages (one of many) of the Sandman: People must take responsibility (and in this particular case not only for their lives but also for their afterlives, which is also a recurring theme). Each person's soul is their own, and no one can take that away. Paradoxically (or maybe not), as Lucifer abandons their own responsibilities, they urge people to take responsibility for themselves: You can drop said responsibilities, with all that entails, as long as you also take responsibility for the fallout.

So what about the wider question of free will then?

Let’s look at Lucifer's rebellion and fall for that, because both raise a lot of questions. Dream tells Lucifer that he remembers them as passionate, and Lucifer responds, “I cared about so many things. I suppose that was why everything began to go wrong. You know… I still wonder how much of it He planned. How much of it He knew in advance. I thought I was rebelling. I thought I was defying His rule. No… I was merely fulfilling another tiny segment of His great and powerful plan.”

And this brings me right to NG’s short story “Murder Mysteries”, which isn’t really officially part of the Sandman Universe, but also… it totally is 🤣. In it, pre-fall Lucifer witnesses the destruction of an angel who killed another angel they loved. Raguel (the angel formerly tasked with said destruction who now walks on earth, coincidentally mentioned in the panel above as one who might also have rebelled) narrates, “��That was not right. That was not just.’ Perhaps Saraquael was the first to love, but Lucifer was the first to shed tears."

Later, it is revealed that God orchestrated this situation to push Lucifer towards rebellion. God needed an adversary to run Hell and says, “Lucifer must brood on the unfairness of Saraquael's destruction. And that—amongst other things—will precipitate him into certain actions. Poor sweet Lucifer. His way will be the hardest of all my children; for there is a part he must play in the drama that is to come, and it is a grand role.”

Lucifer was basically set up by God, and this somewhat revisionist interpretation of their rebellion and fall opens up larger questions about free will, agency and destiny.

Because although Lucifer's actions were influenced by God, they still carried them out and are therefore fully responsible for them. And by choosing to abandon Hell, Lucifer was taking responsibility for their own life. They faced a choice: remain in Hell as a shadow of their former self, or move on and make peace.

This fragile peace is illustrated at the end of "A Season of Mists," when Lucifer and an old man are conversing on a beach. The old man, despite having lost everyone he loved, remarks that any God who can create such beautiful sunsets couldn't be all bad. After the man leaves, Lucifer admits (basically to God), “He's got a point. The sunsets are bloody marvelous, you old bastard. Satisfied?”

And in a way, even Lucifer comes to terms with their past once they take responsibility for it.

In a way, this mirrors Dream’s arc to a tee. One could certainly argue that he was set on his path by forces outwith his control: Whatever had to happen in cosmic terms was always bigger than Dream. The Fates also held a grudge against him and Orpheus, for more than one reason. Orpheus did make the Furies cry, and they never forgave him for that. Crucially though, he was also responsible for his own actions and carried them out. Only that Dream’s choice was ultimately a different one—or was it truly? Because what is the exact definition of “walking away”? He certainly did not abandon his realm like Lucifer because he ensured it was taken care of. There is no devil-may-care (no pun intended) attitude, because even when choosing death, Morpheus does care about his realm and the dreamers. Deeply.

It is the sole reason why the ending we get is the ending we get, and why we have Daniel as Dream in the end. And while Lucifer takes responsibility for their own life, Morpheus takes responsibility for his own death. But both Lucifer and Morpheus faced a choice: remain on their paths as shadows of their former selves, or move on and make peace. And both chose the latter.

And one takeaway for us, as the readers, might be that if we find ourselves in an intolerable situation, we can always walk away, even if the price may be high. This brings us back to the theme of freedom:

The price of freedom is taking responsibility for our lives, even if we haven't been fully in control of them. The freedom to walk away might not be the ultimate freedom, as Lucifer suggests, but it is significant.

Free will in the Sandman is a topic of debate, and I tangentially wrote about it before:

Destiny carries a book that contains everything that will happen to us, all there was, is and will be. Most of all though, it contains what must happen. One could say that in this universe, there is a strong element of predestination involved. However, complaining about a lack of free will and just pointing towards Destiny’s book also misses the point:

In the end, our lives are always our own (which is mentioned several times, directly or in a roundabout way: in Façade, in Song of Orpheus, in Brief Lives, in The Kindly Ones, in The Wake).

Your life and your death are your own

Some of us might have more to overcome than others, but the sooner we accept our unique challenges (which is not the same as being passive), the more we will focus on what we can change—or what we can meet with forgiveness and (self-)compassion.

Destiny and freedom as opposite sides of the coin matter far less than what we do with them…

#the sandman #sandman #dream of the endless #morpheus #lucifer morningstar #the sandman comics #sandman meta #lucifer #sandman analysis #Orpheus sandman #sandman spoilers #queue

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rockyteriyaki · 6 months ago

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TEAM BUILDING ACTIVITIES 👯

s/o to @powerful-owl for starting this meme and @disarmd for the insanely funny contribution, it’s such a delightful thought exercise! here’s my attempt:

MASCOTS!

american sports have hella mascots, so every team is tasked to create a marketable mascot that could represent them for u.s fans. they also have to build a little model to pitch the concept. there’s the williams whale sharks. the aston martin martinis. lando and oscar devise a walking papaya named penny who looks so much like a vulva oscar backs out almost instantly.

GUESS THE GRID based on clothing choices: drivers assemble an outfit they’d wear and then everyone else tries to guess who picked what. the catch is that the f1a girls did the same challenge and their answers are mixed in as well. everybody thinks doriane’s mercedes-themed picks are george’s and maya gets confused for charles even though there’s no ferrari branding to be seen. chloe’s picked a haas cap with a black skirt and we watch nico hulkenberg go through every emotion known to man trying to figure out why kevin would—???

(meanwhile the academy grid is absolutely ripping everybody’s style choices to shreds, accusing hamda of being the most basic bitch on the planet bc max chose to wear basketball shorts, etc)

PADDOCK SCAVENGER HUNT

5 teams are in on it and the other 5 can’t know what’s going on, otherwise they lose points. charles pretends that he’s too tired to walk when pierre catches him searching the top of a cabinet on carlos’ shoulders. oscar distracts williams while lando tries to get a picture of logan with red, white and blue objects in the background. yuki gets stranded on top of the rbr motorhome because daniel won’t stop using him for reconnaissance and the whole thing gets called off because max sees them squabbling on the roof and thinks the rapture has arrived.

GEORGE AND ALEX MAKE GRAPHICS

ib george’s natural talent for graphic design. the audience gets to see what a communications team actually does in motorsport (educational!) and george and alex get free reign of the entire library of press photos of eachother. george is hunting for a terrible picture of alex to edit onto a podium but ends up having a very verbal crisis about how none of the pap shots are appropriately bad and then spends the next half an hour digging himself into theeee deepest hole talking about how it’s just not as FUNNY if alex looks TOO GOOD on the podium! it would be UNFAIR! alex is squirming and trying to remember where tf he was planning on going with this zoomed-in great-gatsby-esque picture of george’s eyelids on his screen right now. george silently edits alex’s teeth out of his mouth and tries to erase the fact that he just called alex handsome like 47 times.

MARIO KART SIM RACING

im talking full immersion. sherbet land is ice fucking cold. every time they drive over some kind of giant clock or railroad or something the sim porpoises like a jackhammer. someone is standing behind them with a full tank of water for the splash sections. there’s a legitimate epilepsy warning at the start of the video. bowser puts the fear of god into lando norris.

MAX AND DANIEL DO TEMPORARY TATTOOS

i’m hesitant to allow them access to a bowl of water but i have an extremely clear vision of daniel slapping tats all over the blank spaces on his skin to the point where they overlap and he’s just got shiny plasticky tattoo skin everywhere. max would find this unappealing and also stupid until he realizes all the fake tattoos on his side of the table are replicas of daniel’s actual ones. cut to: daniel with a snake tattoo stuck in his eyebrow hairs hiking his shorts up so max can mirror the placement on his own inner thigh. daniel resembling a concussed post malone, watching max’s careful application of the ‘3’ tattoo. max does a horrible aussie accent and daniel looks like a chimpanzee seeing its own reflection for the first time. cinema.

#i am obsessed with this trend #a trace of the true self (complex inner psyche of your blorbo) exists in the false self (giving your blorbo a taser)#maxiel #galex #the grid

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goaliekisses · 2 years ago

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woof juicy news day for us pens fans. not only do we have sidney crosby’s Seduction of kyle dubas, now we have this article on Why Hextall Sucks (and how he pissed off even sidney crosby) + some angsty Geno details that i will only relish now that he’s still with us:

Early last summer, at his spacious home in Montreal, Kris Letang finally saw the document that secured his future in Pittsburgh.

No stranger to the multi-page, standard player contract, this one was particularly special. It was his fourth, and probably his last. It contained specific elements Letang and his agent required. One line read “six years.” Another read “$36.6 million.” The line that Letang really loved?: “full no-movement clause.”

Together, those words recommitted Letang and the Penguins, the only NHL franchise he had ever known. At 35, he would finish his career in Pittsburgh.

As word spread last July 7, Letang’s phone blew up. The flood of well-wishers included teammates past and present, various Penguins personnel he’d befriended over his previous 16 seasons, and family and friends. He took only a few calls. Among them: Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin, his oldest and dearest teammates in Pittsburgh, who were thrilled for him.

Crosby, the Penguins captain and franchise icon, had made it clear to general manager Ron Hextall and president of hockey operations Brian Burke as far back as the 2021 offseason that he wanted the team to re-sign impending free agents Letang and Malkin so the three veterans and lifetime Penguins could take another shot at a Stanley Cup together.

Would Crosby pressure ownership to sign Malkin and Letang? “I’ve never wanted to be GM,” Crosby said. “I think they know how I feel.”

While the negotiations with Letang took longer and were more difficult than expected, Hextall’s discussions with Malkin had turned dark. Only days before the start of free agency last summer, Letang, Crosby and coach Mike Sullivan worked overtime trying to calm Malkin, who was stewing over lowball early contract offers, limited communication with Hextall and veiled public shots from Burke.

“How bad is it?” Letang asked Crosby about the state of Malkin’s emotions and the negotiations.

“Pretty bad,” Crosby said.

Hextall first irritated Malkin late in the 2021-22 season by offering a short-term contract extension to his agent, J.P. Barry. In the offseason that animosity built as weeks passed without a follow-up conversation from Hextall. On June 17, Hextall told Barry that the team’s offer was “take-it-or-leave-it,” and the next day Burke used those words to characterize the negotiations during multiple media interviews. Not surprisingly, Malkin, a sure Hall-of-Famer, went from annoyed to insulted.

For weeks leading up to and after Letang’s deal was finalized, Malkin stewed at home while Crosby, Letang and Sullivan checked in with him from afar. With no deal in sight, Malkin began speaking to his small inner circle as if his time with the Penguins was concluding.

Hextall fielded daily questions from Fenway Sports Group brass about why Malkin hadn’t yet been re-signed. Hextall was also taken aback by the barrage of calls and texts — from Penguins alternate governor Dave Beeston, from Crosby and Sullivan, from president of business operations Kevin Acklin — after reports surfaced that Malkin would test free agency. He told his agent he wanted to “show Hextall and Burke” by trying the open market.

Malkin had joked during the ’21-22 season that he was “a rich guy,” insisting he didn’t need to worry about money on his next contract. He was having a laugh, but was also somewhat serious. He had taken less than market value on two previous deals with the Penguins and expected that trend to continue on his final NHL contract.

He was about to turn 36. He wanted to play until he was 40. He sought a contract with a no-trade clause. But more than money, he needed the Penguins to show they really wanted him, something he felt was lacking, especially from Hextall. By July 11, 2022, Malkin was convinced he’d already practiced in Cranberry for the last time.

After tucking in their son, Nikita, Malkin and his wife, Anna, sat on their leather couch and looked at a summary sheet of Hextall’s latest offer: four seasons, $24.4 million total, a full no-movement clause.

Malkin was fine with what he read. The sticking point was his bruised feelings.

“They not think I good player,” Malkin wrote in a text message to Crosby.

“They not want me,” Malkin texted to Letang, who had stepped up efforts to console Malkin after signing his deal.

Malkin wanted to stay in Pittsburgh, but he no longer trusted either Hextall or Burke. Crosby and Sullivan intervened. Each spent hours on the phone with Malkin as July 11 became July 12. Careful not to tell him what to do, Crosby and Sullivan implored Malkin to “not worry about those guys” — Hextall and Burke — when making a final decision. Letang, too, jumped into the mix. Together, two-thirds of the Big Three and their coach brought up every special moment, funny story and great time they could remember to remind Malkin what they had built in Pittsburgh. Malkin paced from room to room at his condo in Fisher Island, finally beginning to feel wanted again.

As early morning shifted to late afternoon, Malkin had heard enough to make a decision. He called his agent, Barry, with instructions to re-engage with Hextall and take the offer. Upon calling, Barry was surprised to find a receptive Hextall.

After hanging up with Barry, Hextall bragged to his assistant GM, Chris Pryor, and a handful of staffers, that he “got him on my terms — that’s how you negotiate.” Malkin informed Crosby, Letang and Sullivan that he was staying. When talking to Crosby and Letang, Malkin sounded happy for the first time in a long time.

“We win next year,” Malkin told his friends. “Big year get back Cup.”

also these bits 🥺

After McGinn was put on waivers, he played a memorable final game with the Penguins, blocking shots and setting up Crosby for a dramatic tying goal in the third period. In the locker room afterward, his soon-to-be-former teammates named him player of the game, eliciting a massive roar from the group that could be heard through closed doors.

Hextall traded Teddy Blueger during the same trip. In the middle of a dinner with the players’ fathers, arranged by Crosby at Bern’s Steakhouse in Tampa, Blueger learned via social media that he had been dealt to Vegas. He and his dad abruptly left the restaurant. Crosby rushed to console his now former teammate and after a few minutes returned to the dinner. “That’s not how we do things in Pittsburgh,” he said. Crosby remained mostly quiet the rest of the night.

…Long after most of their teammates had left the locker room after the demoralizing 5-2 defeat, the Big Three remained.

Malkin was emotional, his voice rising as he spoke. He had been dreaming of his beloved parents, Natalia and Vladimir, returning to Pittsburgh for another postseason run. Instead, they’d stay in Russia.

Letang, in the adjacent corner of the room, spoke thoughtfully and contemplatively. He had been through hell and back all season, and the Penguins’ loss was another blow.

Then there was Crosby, who sits at the center of an arc of connected lockers. The Penguins captain, with gray hairs that seemed to grow more plentiful throughout the season, sat stoically. After finishing interviews, Crosby sat by himself, staring straight ahead before slowly walking out of the locker room.

sorry need to add the header too because i would totally watch this telenovella

#wowwwwwww #i just… the teddy detail really slayed me #sidney crosby #evgeni malkin #kris letang #teddy blueger #pittsburgh penguins

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elaho · 8 months ago

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Paisley's Bridal Boutique is now compatible with Stardew 1.6!!

**Please scroll to the bottom of the page for an important announcement**

Paisley's Bridal Boutique has been given a major revamp for Stardew 1.6! Over 10 new hats, 5 new shirts, and 4 new pants have been added, along with vanilla wedding hats, shirts, and pants are available, including Mermaids Pendant and Bouquet.

All pants, skirts, and dresses now have full animation compatibility. You can now wear your favourite outfits wherever you'd like - farming, mining, fishing, dancing, getting married, and more!

Four official Flower Dance outfits have been included, so you can wear a fancy dress or suit to match your mate at the festival.

Much more content has been added to the Boutique! Check out the Changelogs on Nexus Mods for a complete list of changes and additions for version 1.3.0.

Paisley's Bridal Boutique is available to play for free on Nexus, CurseForge, and ModDrop.

**Important Announcement**

I've been thinking about the future of the Maker's Market for a long time and needed to decide whether continuing to make mods is something I can continue affording financially and with my spare time. But the thought of quitting made me really sad.

Making mods is something I enjoy doing and being able to share them with the community makes me really happy. I know many people would also be sad if things ended here.

Because of things, I've launched a Patreon page for the Grampleton Maker's Market [and other Stardew mods]. This way, I can continue to work on creating the mods and content I'm passionate about while also being able to give players the immersive and well-rounded content they deserve.

My mods will always be free to play, so my Patreon will be focused on relieving a bit of my financial stress while also sharing exclusive behind-the-scenes content, character developments, updates, sneak-peaks, Q+A's, and voting polls regarding the Market and other Stardew mods with my patrons.

I will add more Patreon tiers in the future, but I've decided to keep things simple by starting with two tiers so I don't end up overworking or pressuring myself to pump out content. Thank you all for your generous support and encouragement over the years. I truly appreciate each and every one of you <3

Much love, -Elaho

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muiitoloko · 6 months ago

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Hi! I loved your Slope stories, so could we get a follow-up? Perhaps some drama (something to do with jealousy?) and also smut? 😍

Title: The Bewitched Chaplain.

Summary: Consumed by jealousy, Obadiah Slope confronts his feelings for a gypsy woman, leading to a passionate encounter that changes them both.

Pairing: Mr. Obadiah Slope × Fem! Reader

Warning: Smut, Jealousy.

Author's Notes: Thank you for your request. 🫶

First, Second, Third, Fourth and Fifth part here.

Also read on Ao3

Mr. Slope disappeared for a week after that fateful day in your shop. He vanished without a trace, and despite the lingering curiosity and questions, you didn’t worry too much about it. You knew he would return eventually, drawn back by the forbidden allure that had ensnared him. In the meantime, you relished the peace his absence brought, a welcome respite from his incessant attention.

Your shop began to flourish again, free from the shadow of Mr. Slope’s presence. Customers trickled back in, seeking your herbal remedies and tinctures. You focused on your craft, creating potions and balms to cure ailments and soothe troubled minds. Each day was filled with the comforting routine of mixing herbs and bottling elixirs, the familiar scents of lavender, chamomile, and rosemary filling the air.

Today, you decided to venture into the city to restock your supplies. The morning was crisp, the sky a clear, bright blue as you made your way through the bustling streets of Barchester. The market was alive with activity, vendors calling out their wares and townsfolk haggling over prices. You wove through the crowd with practiced ease, your eyes scanning the stalls for the ingredients you needed.

Your first stop was the apothecary, where you purchased dried chamomile flowers and valerian root. The shopkeeper, an elderly man with a kind smile, greeted you warmly. “Ah, Miss, back for more supplies? Business must be good.”

You nodded, smiling in return. “Yes, it’s been quite busy. People always need remedies for their troubles.”

He chuckled, handing you a neatly wrapped parcel. “Indeed. Take care, Miss. Until next time.”

You continued through the market, stopping at various stalls to buy fresh lavender, peppermint leaves, and a bundle of sage. As you moved from vendor to vendor, you noticed a few familiar faces, regular customers who nodded in greeting. You exchanged pleasantries with them, your spirits lifted by the sense of community.

Your final stop was the grocery stall, where you picked up fresh vegetables, fruits, and a loaf of bread. The grocer, a plump woman with rosy cheeks, chatted with you as she weighed your purchases. “I heard Mr. Slope hasn’t been seen in a while. Good riddance, I say. That man gave me the creeps.”

You laughed softly, agreeing inwardly. “Yes, it has been peaceful without him around.”

With a full suitcase and a light heart, you decided to pamper yourself a little. Not resisting the temptation, you bought some trinkets for yourself too. Like a true gypsy, you were vain, enjoying looking pretty. Your next stop was one of the tents belonging to a gypsy friend who loved flirting with you. As a woman and a gypsy, you knew you were breaking traditions by not being married yet, especially at your age, but you didn't care. You enjoyed being unique, and so you flirted back, laughing and teasing with an ease that came naturally to you.

You didn't notice Mr. Slope watching from afar, hidden beneath a broad-brimmed hat that shielded him from the strong sun. Silently seething with jealousy at the sight of you with another man, he felt a bitter taste in his mouth. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw you, moaning and writhing beneath him. He could almost taste you on his tongue. Now, seeing you smile at another man left him distraught.

He decided to get closer, his expression darkening as he approached. "Well, well, if it isn't the wandering temptress and her fellow gypsy miscreants," he mocked, his baritone voice dripping with disdain.

Your gypsy friend straightened up, his easygoing demeanor replaced by a wary look. "Mr. Slope," he greeted with forced politeness. "What brings you here?"

Slope's hooked nose flared slightly as he sneered. "I was just passing by and couldn't help but notice the... spectacle." His eyes shifted to you, their intensity unnerving. "Don't you have more respectable business to attend to, or do you enjoy cavorting with these vagabonds?"

You bristled at his words, feeling the anger rise within you. "I am conducting my business, Mr. Slope," you replied coolly. "And I enjoy the company of my friends."

Slope’s eyes darkened, his jealousy barely concealed. "Friends?" he echoed, his voice a dangerous whisper. "Is that what you call these... men who fawn over you?"

Your gypsy friend stepped forward, his posture protective. "She is free to choose her company, Mr. Slope. And we gypsies take care of our own."

Slope's eyes narrowed, his hands clenching at his sides. "Take care of your own, indeed," he said, his tone mocking. "You gypsies think you can charm your way out of anything with your herbs and trinkets."

You stepped between them, your gaze locked onto Slope's. "My herbal remedies have helped many people in this town, Mr. Slope," you said, your voice steady. "Including those who come to me in desperation when conventional medicine fails them."

Slope's eyes flicked to you, a mix of anger and longing in his gaze. "You have bewitched them all," he muttered, his voice thick with emotion. "Just as you bewitched me."

Your gypsy friend glanced between you and Slope, sensing the tension. "Perhaps it is best if you leave, Mr. Slope," he said, his voice firm. "This is not a place for your accusations and insults."

Slope's jaw tightened, but he took a step back, his eyes never leaving yours. "Beware, temptress," he hissed, his voice low and menacing. "Your charms will not save you forever."

With that, he turned on his heel and stalked away, his coat billowing behind him. You watched him go, a mix of anger and pity in your heart. Slope was a man tormented by his own desires, unable to reconcile his faith with the forbidden passions you had awakened in him.

Your gypsy friend placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Are you alright?" he asked softly.

You nodded, forcing a smile. "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you."

But as you resumed your shopping, the encounter with Slope lingered in your mind. His jealousy, his anger, and the longing in his eyes had left a mark on you. You couldn't help but wonder what would happen the next time you crossed paths with Mr. Obadiah Slope.

Having bought everything you needed, you headed back to your store, which also served as your home upstairs. The journey back was filled with thoughts of Mr. Slope and the encounter in the market. His jealousy and anger had left a mark on you, and you couldn't shake the feeling of anticipation mixed with unease.

As soon as you opened the door and set your shopping basket aside, you began to organize your new supplies. You were so absorbed in your task that you didn't notice the door opening behind you. It wasn't until you felt an arm snake around your waist and pull you into a lean, firm chest that you realized someone had entered. You cried out slightly in surprise but relaxed when you heard Mr. Slope's baritone voice whispering in your ear.

"Do you bewitch all men like you do with me?" he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. "Do all men have their dicks sucked by you?"

You laughed lightly, amused and a little surprised by his vulgar vocabulary. It seemed he had learned some dirty lines during his week of absence. "Mr. Slope, you surprise me," you said, turning slightly in his grasp to look up at him. "But no, you are the only one who has had the opportunity to have his dick sucked by me."

Slope's eyes darkened with a mixture of desire and jealousy. "I find that hard to believe," he said, his voice a low growl. "I saw how you flirted with that gypsy today."

You sighed, reaching up to gently touch his face. "He is just a friend," you reassured him. "You have nothing to worry about."

He seemed to relax a little, but the tension in his body remained. You caressed his chest, feeling the fabric of his chaplain's robes. "Are you jealous, Mr. Slope?" you asked softly, a teasing smile playing on your lips.

Slope let go of you, stepping back with a harsh laugh. "Jealous? Why would I be jealous of a gypsy?" he scoffed, his baritone voice laced with disdain. "I am the town's respected chaplain. What could a gypsy offer that I couldn't do better?"

You smiled to yourself, knowing that he was obviously jealous. It was a little cute and funny, to tell you the truth, the dramatic gestures he was making. "If you're so sure, then why are you here?" you asked, raising an eyebrow. "Why did you follow me back to my shop?"

Slope's eyes narrowed, his posture stiffening. "I came to... ensure your safety," he said, though even he didn't sound convinced by his own words.

You stepped closer, your fingers tracing the line of his jaw. "You came because you can't stay away," you whispered, your voice a seductive murmur. "Because you want me as much as I want you."

Slope's breath hitched, his brown eyes darkening with desire. He opened his mouth to argue, but no words came out. Instead, he swallowed hard, his gaze flicking to the stairs that led to the upstairs of your shop, where your living quarters were.

"Would you like to go upstairs?" you asked, your voice gentle but filled with promise. "We would have more privacy there."

Slope stayed quiet, his internal struggle evident in his expression. Being alone with you always ended in sex, which a part of him was looking forward to, while another part was wracked with guilt. Sex before marriage was a sin, and he wasn't married to you. He didn't even know if you would marry him.

You reached out, taking his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Come with me," you urged softly. "We can talk, or we can do more if you wish. But let's not stand here."

After a moment's hesitation, Slope nodded, allowing you to lead him up the stairs. The familiar surroundings of your home brought a sense of comfort, and as you entered your living space, you released his hand and turned to face him.

"Sit down," you said, gesturing to a comfortable armchair near the window. "I'll make us some tea."

Slope sat down, his body still tense, his eyes following your every move. You busied yourself in the small kitchen area, boiling water and preparing the tea. The silence between you was thick with unspoken words and simmering desire.

When the tea was ready, you brought the cups over and handed one to Slope. He took it with a muttered thank you, his eyes never leaving yours. You sat down opposite him, sipping your tea and watching him over the rim of your cup.

"Tell me," you said after a few moments of silence. "What is it that you truly want, Mr. Slope? Why do you torment yourself so?"

Slope sighed, setting his cup down and running a hand through his dark blond hair. "I don't know," he admitted, his voice filled with frustration. "I am a man of God. I have taken vows, and I am bound by the laws of the church. Yet, when I am with you, all of that seems to fade away. I am torn between my duty and my desire."

You reached out, placing a hand on his knee. "You don't have to choose," you said gently. "You can be both. You can serve your God and still be with me. There is no shame in love and desire, Mr. Slope. They are natural, human emotions."

Slope looked at you, his eyes filled with longing and confusion. "But sex before marriage is a sin," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "And I am not married to you. I don't even know if you would marry me."

You smiled softly, your heart aching for the torment he was going through. "We can take things one step at a time," you said. "Let's just be together, here and now. We can talk about the future later."

Slope nodded, his resolve crumbling as he reached out to take your hand. "I don't know what the future holds," he said, his voice trembling with emotion. "But for now, I want to be with you. I can't deny my feelings any longer."

You squeezed his hand, your heart swelling with a mix of hope and desire. "Then let's be together," you said softly. "Here and now."

With that, you leaned in, your lips meeting his in a tender, passionate kiss. Slope's arms wrapped around you, pulling you close as he surrendered to the desire that had been tormenting him for so long. The guilt and the fear melted away, leaving only the intense connection between you.

As you made your way to the bed, your hands exploring each other with a newfound sense of freedom, you knew that this was only the beginning. There would be challenges ahead, but for now, all that mattered was the love and desire that burned between you, binding you together in a way that no vow or law could ever sever.

Slope looked almost desperate as he fumbled to get out of his robe, kicking off his shoes in a rush. You couldn't help but laugh softly to yourself, amused by his eagerness. With a calm demeanor, you moved closer, gently taking hold of his trembling hands to help him undress. Slope watched you intently, his dark brown eyes filled with a mix of desire and vulnerability.

As you undid his robes, your fingers deftly working the buttons, Slope leaned his forehead against yours, his nose brushing against yours. His breath was hot and heavy, mingling with yours in the intimate space between you.

"Say you'll marry me," he demanded, his baritone voice low and insistent. His eyes bore into yours, searching for the reassurance he desperately needed.

You smiled, a hint of sadness in your eyes as you shook your head. "No," you whispered, your voice gentle but firm.

Slope's expression shifted to one of confusion and hurt. "Why not?" he asked, his voice tinged with desperation. "Would you rather marry another damn gypsy?"

Jealousy flared in his eyes, but you reached up to cup his cheek, your touch soothing. "No, Slope," you said softly. "It's not that. I don't want to marry you because you hate gypsies. You've made that very clear to the entire town. It would be quite contradictory if you appeared married to one."

Slope's brow furrowed, his expression darkening with frustration. "It wouldn't be contradictory," he argued, his voice rising slightly. "People would just think you learned your place."

You sighed, your fingers gently tracing the line of his jaw. "Slope, that's exactly the problem," you said, your voice filled with a mix of sadness and determination. "I don't want to marry someone who sees me as beneath them. I want to be loved for who I am, not for who you think I should be."

Slope's eyes softened, his jealousy and frustration giving way to a deep, aching longing. "I do love you," he whispered, his voice trembling with emotion. "I can't stop thinking about you, dreaming about you. I want you, body and soul."

You leaned in, your lips brushing against his in a tender kiss. "Then show me," you murmured against his mouth. "Show me how much you want me."

With a growl of desire, Slope's hands moved to your clothes, his fingers trembling with eagerness as he undressed you. His touch was rough but filled with a raw, unrestrained passion that sent shivers down your spine.

As he pulled you close, his hands roaming over your body, you could feel the intensity of his need. "You're mine," he growled, his voice thick with desire. "Say it."

You arched your back, pressing yourself against him as you whispered, "I'm yours, Slope. All yours."

Slope's eyes darkened with lust as you whispered your affirmation, but he shook his head, his breath hot against your skin. "No, call me by my name," he demanded, his voice a low growl. "Call me Obadiah."

You could see the intensity in his eyes, the need to hear his name on your lips, and you smiled, savoring the power you held over him. "Obadiah," you purred, tasting his name on your tongue like a forbidden delicacy. The effect it had on him was immediate and profound. His breath hitched, his grip on you tightening as a shiver ran through his body.

Slope didn't understand why hearing his name from your lips did things to him that he couldn't quite comprehend. He tried to recall the books he had read secretly in the days he had avoided you, books that talked about sex in scientific terms, explaining the mechanics and the biological functions, but offering little in the way of guidance on how to please a woman. Why did he have to be so inexperienced in these matters?

You could see the confusion and frustration in his eyes, and you took his hand, guiding it to the swell of your breast. "Don't think so much, Obadiah," you whispered, your voice a sultry murmur. "Just feel."

His hand trembled against your skin, but he obeyed, his touch growing bolder as he explored your body. You arched into him, encouraging him with soft moans and sighs. "Yes, just like that," you murmured, your breath hitching as his fingers brushed against your sensitive nipple. "Touch me, Obadiah. Make me feel good."

He watched you with a mixture of awe and desire, his eyes dark with lust as he continued to explore your body. "You feel so good," he whispered, his voice trembling with emotion. "I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel."

You guided his hand lower, between your thighs, showing him how to touch you, how to tease and please you. "Here," you breathed, your voice a soft moan. "Touch me here, Obadiah. Just like this."

His fingers moved tentatively at first, but he quickly found a rhythm that made you gasp with pleasure. "Yes, just like that," you panted, your hips rocking against his hand. "Don't stop, Obadiah. Please, don't stop."

He watched you intently, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he obeyed your every command. "You're so beautiful," he murmured, his voice filled with wonder. "I want to taste you again."

You nodded, your body trembling with anticipation as he lowered himself between your thighs. His tongue flicked out to taste you, and you cried out, your fingers tangling in his dark blond hair. "Oh, Obadiah," you moaned, your voice filled with need. "Yes, just like that."

He licked and sucked, his movements growing more confident as he learned what made you moan, what made your body shudder with pleasure. "You taste so sweet," he murmured against your skin, his voice thick with desire. "I can't get enough of you."

You guided him with your hands, showing him how to please you, how to drive you wild with desire. "Don't stop," you gasped, your body trembling with need. "I'm so close, Obadiah. Please, don't stop."

But when you were close, Slope pulled away, leaving you on the edge of climax. He worked on his pants, hurriedly undoing the buttons as he stood between your legs, his eyes dark with desire. "No, don't stop now," you gasped, your body trembling with need.

Slope's eyes met yours, his breath hot against your lips as he leaned in, teasing you with his proximity. "I want to be inside you," he murmured, his voice a low, seductive growl. "But first, I need to hear you say it."

You moaned in frustration, your hands gripping his shoulders as you tried to pull him closer. "Say what?" you whispered, your voice trembling with desire.

"Say you'll marry me," he demanded, his lips brushing against yours as he spoke. "Say you'll be mine, forever."

You hesitated, the weight of his words sinking in. But the need in his eyes, the raw hunger in his voice, was impossible to resist. "Obadiah, please," you begged, your voice a desperate plea. "Don't make me wait."

Slope's grip tightened on your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh as he held you in place. "Say it," he insisted, his voice rough with need. "Say yes, please. Tell me you'll marry me."

"Yes," you gasped, your body arching towards him. "I'll marry you, Obadiah. Please, just don't stop."

A triumphant smile curled at the corners of his lips as he positioned himself between your legs, his cock hard and ready. "That's my girl," he murmured, his voice a husky purr. "You're mine now, forever."

With that, he thrust into you, filling you completely. The sensation was overwhelming, a mix of pleasure and relief as he finally gave you what you craved. "Oh, Obadiah," you moaned, your fingers digging into his back as you clung to him. "Yes, just like that."

Slope's movements were rough and desperate, his need driving him to take you with a fervor that left you breathless. "You're mine," he growled, his breath hot against your ear. "Say it."

"I'm yours," you gasped, your body trembling with the intensity of your climax. "All yours, Obadiah. Forever."

Slope's rough thrusts calmed as he breathed into your ear, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. His voice, a low baritone whisper, was filled with a mix of desire and determination. "I vow to love you, to honor you, and to cherish you," he murmured, his words a heady mixture of wedding vows and lustful declarations. "In sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, until death do us part."

Your heart raced, the thrill of his words and the intensity of his movements overwhelming you. You had never experienced anything like this before. It wasn't just sex; it was something deeper, something more profound. It was making love, and it stirred something within you that you had never felt before.

"Yes, Obadiah," you gasped, your fingers digging into his back as you clung to him. "Yes, I am yours."

Slope continued making love to you, each thrust deepening the connection between you. Though he was inexperienced, he sensed that he was pleasing you through your moans and the way your body responded to his touch. He marveled at the way your skin flushed, the way your breath hitched with each movement. Your pleasure was a guiding force for him, encouraging him to explore further, to learn what made you cry out in ecstasy.

His hands roamed your body, tracing the curves and lines that had driven him to the brink of madness. "You're so beautiful," he whispered, his voice a low, reverent murmur. "I can't believe you're mine."

You smiled up at him, your eyes half-lidded with pleasure. "I'm yours, Obadiah," you gasped, your fingers threading through his dark blond hair. "All yours."

The sound of his name on your lips sent a shiver down his spine, fueling his desire. He moved with more confidence now, his hips rocking against yours with a rhythm that made you moan. Each sound you made was a testament to the pleasure he was giving you, a reassurance that he was doing something right.

"Yes, just like that," you breathed, your body arching towards him. "Don't stop, Obadiah. Please, don't stop."

Slope's eyes darkened with lust as he watched you, the sight of you writhing beneath him igniting a primal need within him. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a searing kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth with a hunger that matched the intensity of his movements.

He could feel the pressure building, the tightness in his core signaling that he was close. But he wanted to make sure you found your release first, to see you come undone beneath him. "I want to see you come," he murmured against your lips, his voice a husky growl. "I want to feel you tighten around me."

You moaned in response, your body trembling with the intensity of your impending climax. "I'm so close," you gasped, your nails digging into his back. "Please, Obadiah, don't stop."

With a final, powerful thrust, Slope felt you shudder beneath him, your body convulsing as you cried out his name. The sight and sound of your release pushed him over the edge, and he followed you into bliss, his body trembling with the force of his own climax.

For a moment, the world seemed to stand still, the only sounds the ragged breaths and the rapid beating of your hearts. Slope collapsed beside you, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. He looked over at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of awe and gratitude.

"You were amazing," he whispered, his voice still thick with emotion. "I can't believe I was able to make you feel that way."

You smiled, reaching out to stroke his cheek. "You did more than just make me feel good," you said softly. "You made me feel loved, Obadiah."

Slope's eyes softened, a tender smile playing at the corners of his lips. "I do love you," he admitted, his voice a gentle whisper. "More than I ever thought possible."

You leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "And I love you," you replied, your voice filled with sincerity. "We'll find a way to make this work, Obadiah. Together."

As you lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, the weight of your vows and the challenges ahead seemed to fade away. In that moment, all that mattered was the love and desire that bound you together, a bond that no force on earth could ever sever.

#alan rickman #alan rickman x reader #mr obadiah slope #obadiah slope x reader #obadiah slope

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literary-illuminati · 2 months ago

Text

2024 Book Review #60 – Paved Paradise: How Parking Explains the World by Henry Grabar

This is a book I heard about because the cranky old communist who runs the local daily paper recommended it in some editorial I’ve long since forgotten the actual point of. Which is generally a very high-risk way to get book recommendations, but in this case it worked out! Though I came into this as the friendliest possible audience for the arguments Grabar is trying to make, so I’m genuinely not that sure how convincing a work it is for a less sympathetic reader. It is at least full of fun and somewhat memorable anecdotes.

The book is about, well, (almost) exactly what it says on the tin – the economics and politics and logistics of parking infrastructure in American cities. Specifically, how it is an all-consuming, economy-warping, environment-destroying, city-killing cancer that is the primary causes of decaying urban cores and the lack of affordable housing in gentrifying neighborhoods. The book is loosely organized, with each different chapter approaching the question of and ills caused by parking from a slightly different angle, or considering the history and psychology that has made it such a mighty force, or showing case studies of how different places have started fixing it.

The two main thrusts of the book are a) parking as an un- (which is to say privately-) regulated privilege and entitlement which the great mass of the American public expects to be provided for free (or for an at-most nominal fee) wherever they happen to want to go and b) parking as possibly the least efficient use of developed real estate in the world, and one that absolutely dominates most American cities.

The latter is a bit less interesting to me, just because it’s broadly things I either already knew or could have pretty quickly puzzled out from what I do. It’s still quite well-presented, and quite rage-inducing – the number of square miles of space set aside for the sole use of free parking on every urban street, the eye-watering amount of money cities spend and give up in revenue to subsidize driving and parking, the hundreds of thousands of units of housing whose economics don’t pencil out because of mandatory parking minimums or that are killed by neighbors and ‘community engagement’ out of (ostensible) concern over their effect on parking availability in the neighborhood, and so on. It’s all well-told, but none of it’s exactly groundbreaking (which Grabar is entirely forthright about, to be clear. A large chunk of the book is combination synopsis and advertisement for the older and more more rigorous The High Cost of Free Parking, also cited as one of the main reference texts).

The former is much more interesting reading for me, just because (as a lifelong and involuntary non-driver) the psychology of it is just a bit foreign to me. The sheer fact that so much parking is both free and unregulated means that instead of market pricing or government permitting all manner of fascinatingly dysfunctional private systems to allocate and ration it out develop instead. Fist fights and murders over stolen parking spots, the self-proclaimed vigilantes patrolling condo parking lots for anyone overstaying their welcome, outright criminal conspiracies and organized violence between ice cream truck companies over poaching each others most lucrative routes – many less morbid and attention-getting things too, to be fair, but it’s still all just fascinating. And if ‘explains the world’ is a bit much, does function as an excellent window into a great many neuroses and dysfunctions of American public life.

One of the points the book repeatedly hammers home is that ‘parking shortages’ are, except in a few extremely select neighborhoods, basically a myth. The parking is almost always there – the average American city has more free or subsidized parking spaces and lots than are filled (at least) 360 days of the year. Drivers just expect parking that is simultaneously no more than a couple blocks from their destination, available the moment they pull up, and (almost) free. Garages go half empty while thousands of road-miles are driven every month circling blocks looking for free spots – terrible for the climate, for the roads being driven on, and for traffic and the utility of driving through the city in the first place. Reducing or eliminating free curbside parking (either charging market-clearing rates, or using the real estate for loading zones or patio seating or any of a thousand other things that serve more people in a period than the same amount of parking) thus often makes traffic better, not worse.

This is very much a book written by a journalist rather than an academic, for both good and ill – not that it doesn’t seem densely researched or well-cited (the endnotes run north of 50 pages), but there’s definitely a prioritization of being approachable and readable over being detailed or rigorous. Hence every chapter having at least one and usually several interviews or deeply characterized anecdotes there to be case studies and examples. Sometimes this anecdotes are incredibly interesting and something I’d probably read a book entirely devoted to – the above mentioned New York City ice cream truck feuds, or the fascinatingly blatant and eye-popping amount of corruption around parking ticketing and violations also in NYC, or how the city of Chicago sold the right to operate all its parking meters through the end of the century to Morgan Stanley – but just as (if not more) often it’s just a few pages sketching a sympathetic portrait and life story of someone suffering the travails of some aspect of parking infrastructure so the reader will have someone to empathize with as the problem is described. A trick that does start t get old the more often it’s repeated.

The book’s long digressions into history were (perhaps unsurprisingly) more interesting for me than the contemporary anecdotes. Partially just because the evolution of things like the car garage and how public streets are conceived of is always interesting to learn more about, and partially because of just how long we have at this point known about things like ‘induced demand’ and the various morbid inefficiencies of car-first, -only and -always culture. Literally generations! It's bleak.

Though having said that, this was funnily enough one of the only works of nonfiction I can remember reading in a long, long time that ended on a positive note in a way that didn’t sound like transparent cope. As is mandatory in all works of pop-sociology, -economics or -poli-sci, this one also ends in a chapter or two of examples of Doing It Right and ways society can fix itself going forward. Grabar just actually weaves together a narrative through most of the book of a slowly-increasing pushback and growing political coalitions who are (in the book’s framing) more interested in cheaper housing and more usable public space than traffic jams and parking lots. The COVID lockdowns and sudden need for as much outdoor space as possible – leading to parking lots being repurposed as church pews, curbside parking as patio seating, and a dozen other things – serve as a case in point. The book ends reiterating the point that the USA’s most desirable and expensive neighbourhoods are very often the ones that are dense and walkable enough (and/or sufficiently well-served by public transit) to comfortably live in without owning a car, and the confident belief that such neighbourhoods are only going to grow more common.

All that said, Grabar’s actually much more sympathetic to the pro-car, pro-parking viewpoint than most authors or pundits I have seen make similar points are. Sometimes to a mildly cringe-inducing ‘no don’t run, I promise I’m normal like you!’ way, being entirely honest. But then, one can at least hope that it helps the book actually function as a persuasive text instead of so much elegant preaching to the choir.

#book review #nonfiction #paved paradise #henry grabar

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