#fourteenth window
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whatsfourteenupto · 11 months ago
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Donna: I can’t find the Doctor, has anyone seen them?
Rose: He’s in the living room listening to music and staring dramatically out the window
Donna: Again? It’s not even raining
Rose: I turned the sprinkler toward the house to see what they’d do
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paradox-n-bedrock · 8 months ago
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they really doubled down on the whole "Fifteen has no home" bit. in Church on Ruby Road, he says he has no family. and then in Space Babies, he launches into a whole little monologue about how he has no people, no boss, no taxes, no rent, no bills to pay, no cause or purpose.
and every. single. time. they mention something like this, i flash back to where we last left Fourteen. with everything, barring a boss unless you count Donna.
i cannot wait to see Fifteen with Rose Noble but i am going to sob if we keep getting this kind of energy. like the visceral knowledge that the rest of his family is right there and he can't go back to them? help me, my heart cannot take this.
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glassolastainedglass · 1 year ago
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mydarlingclaudia · 28 days ago
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what the gyatt
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poguehearted77 · 2 months ago
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Just Another Cliché
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Summary: Rafe has been asking to take you out for years and you always shoot him down, but after a particularly bad day, you decide things can't get much worse.
<<Here's some fluffy angst for those who need it>>
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Shitty was an understatement for the day you had. This day will go down in history as the worst day any soul has ever lived through.
"Oh, you've got to be kidding me." The murmur is bitter on your tongue as you stuff your hands deeper into your warm pockets. The breath of your words were visible in the crisp winter air as you were about to pass by Rafe Cameron who waited patiently outside of your apartment building with a single rose just like he always did.
Since your senior year of high school, every year on the fourteenth of February, he would wait outside your complex, asking you out, then you say no, then he goes home. That's the tradition.
Well, technically you never said no. You'd always make up some excuse. 'I don't have time for a relationship right now' or 'Now's a bad time' are just a few of the examples you've used over the last five years.
It's not that there was anything wrong with him. You actually did find him attractive. Aside from the sketchy reputation he had going for him back in high school, he was still a relatively nice guy.
You just didn't have the time for a relationship, or at least you didn't before.
A small smile forms on his face as he sees you, already knowing what to expect. Another excuse like "Fine," yup, just as he thought- Wait.
"Say that again?" His head shakes in disbelief, blue eyes bulging slightly. Your shoulders shrug under your heavy-duty winter jacket. "My car was towed, then I lost my job, so why not lose my dignity too? Let's go out." You say and his heart begins to bounce off the confines of his ribs.
Not sure if it was the frosty air nipping at his cheeks or his lifetime wish finally unwrapping before his eyes, his cheeks flushed and he blinked a few times. "You won't regret this, I promise." he holds out the rose for you to take, and you finally do. For the first time in five years. You bite back a scoff, not in the mood for empty promises.
"Why haven't you given up yet?" You ask and now he places his hands in his pockets as a chilling breeze sweeps past you. He's rocking back on his heels slightly, "Life's too short to give up." The tiny smile on his face does make you scoff this time but he moves past it, "I'll text you later," is the last thing he says before he walks off.
You look down at the rose, then at his shrinking figure as he heads for the distance. A little pep in his step and you shook your head, immediately regretting your decision.
Great, this is exactly what you needed, another cliché.
-
Just another cliché is exactly what it was. On the lowest day of your life, you finally gave Rafe a chance. Of course, he changes your life in ways you couldn't imagine and leaves you with a dead weight of regret for not giving in sooner.
Your first date wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but it was fun. The two of you were inexperienced skaters failing to skate in the middle of the town square during the heart of winter. With festive lights outlining the rink where you laughed every time one of you fell.
There was even a point in time when you'd both embraced the cold connection with the ice floor and had a deep conversation on the sidelines, watching the other skaters circle the rink.
"Why me?" The question slips out before you can catch it and he licks his lips. He anticipated the query would arise eventually. "You remember that party Hailey Vanderbilt threw back in senior year?"
You hum with a nod, that was a party you'll never forget. Pool toys ended up in the trees, broken windows, jello in the hot tub, fights in the front yard and gambling in the back. "You and a few of the girls were playing truth or dare and they had dared you to start a rumour that I'd shaved my head because my family had joined some cult or some shit."
It took you a second, but the memory came back to you. "You don't know this, but I was fucking wasted behind the couch, but I'll never forget the way you stood up for me to them and refused to do it, and I dunno, I jus' think that was really cool of you." His head turns to you, his gaze softening when he looks at you.
At that moment, you felt the butterflies flap around in your stomach for the first time. He clears his throat, expression becoming more sombre as he continues. "My mom," He starts, taking a difficult swallow to get the words out.
"She was really sick. I got caught up with the wrong crowd to deal with it. Doing anything people said would get me distracted, even for a little, but she got worse and me being high every day didn't help so I quit. Her chemo was taking everything from her and eventually, she just shaved it off, she hated looking in the mirror and it killed me."
Your chest tightened at the story, having a sneaking suspicion of where this was going, "So when you shaved your head..." You trail off and Rafe nods along, turning away from you as a stray tear falls. "It was for her. You sticking up for me meant so much more than you know."
So there you both sat, on the ice with your backs against the wall in silence while the faint Christmas music chimed in the background. The date had taken a sad turn but you're glad it did, it sparked the beginning of your forever-evolving bond.
That was only the first date of many. Dozens and dozens of dates had flown past you and with each one you hated yourself a little more for letting him stand outside of your complex for five years rather than invite him inside.
"This is a nice place." He compliments as he takes a look around before settling himself on the couch with you beside him. "Thanks, it used to be a lot nicer when I could afford it. Had to sell some stuff to keep it after I lost my job."
He chuckles, "That explains why we're facing a blank wall and no television." and you pinch him. "Sacrifices had to be made. Who needs a TV anyways when there's so many other things we could do to keep ourselves busy." Your wandering hand gently runs down his firm thigh and you can feel the muscles in his leg tighten.
This was unchartered territory for you. You'd been dating for almost three months now and have never been intimate in that way, but Rafe knew the kind of person you were. A perfectionist, you need to be sure of everything before you try it.
Based on how fervently you were currently kissing along the length of his neck he could assume he had a pretty good idea of where your head was at. "Baby, baby--" He struggles to keep you at bay so he can lock eyes with you. "Are you sure about this? We don't have-" You silence him with the passionate attack of your lips against his.
Nearly tackling him onto his back, your hips straddling his as you demonstrated your certainty to him.
-
The months went on and sleepovers became more frequent. Even when Rafe had that tired look in his eye which was more often these days, you kept him up with your bright eyes and wide smile as you explained to him the newest conspiracy that intrigued you.
He tried his best to listen to what you were saying but he'd often lose himself in the labyrinth of his own mind. You were just so cute when you were talking about what you were passionate about. Especially when you wore the glasses you cursed so much, opting for contacts during the day.
"Why don't you wear your glasses more often?" He asks and you frown, "Rafee, did you hear anything I just said?" He nods, "Of course I did. I heard every last word.... up until about five minutes ago." You whine and he hugs you tight as an apology, placing a sweet kiss on your forehead.
You couldn't stay mad at him. That was proven time and time again when even your biggest fights would be resolved within 24 hours. Rafe insisted on talking things out, no matter how hurt the both of you may feel. He never wanted to go to sleep without making things right. "Life's too short," He would say.
You both had your shortcomings, but that goes without saying. Rafe was short-tempered and you were stubborn, a bad combination for an opinionated conversation. Things can quickly spiral out of control but when it came to apologies, Rafe outdid you every time. Flowers, or a small gift to show his feelings.
Even now, as Rafe leant against your kitchen island as you transferred the flowers he'd gifted you 'just because'. A weak smile graced his lips as he noted the way you did everything with such intensity, putting your all into everything you did.
Leaning forward onto his crossed forearms he watches you. "You're staring, babe." You say and he can only hum. "Can't help it. I like what I see," His words elicit a soft warmth to radiate in your chest.
"I love you, y'know that?" You're startled as you feel his arms wrapping around your waist from behind. "You tell me only every day, Rafe." He comes down to peck your cheek before you're rotating in his hold to face him. "But I love you too." You're unable to contain your smile as you say it.
It wasn't the first time but every time the words left your mouth, it gave you a little bubbly feeling. Security blossomed within you anytime your eyes grazed over his features.
"Let's go out tonight, yeah? Let's go dancing." Rafe declares without thinking and you laugh, tilting your head to look at the time over the stove. "It's almost midnight, nothing's open at this hour." You reason, but he doesn't back down.
Holding you by the hand, he twirls you. "Not a problem, we'll just do it here." That night your apartment was filled with laughter and soft jazz. Rafe hardly ever had this much energy so late but you loved it.
Two days after that night of dancing, you woke up to an eerie silence that felt too heavy for the morning. You went about your routine, still buoyed by the memory of Rafe's laughter filling your apartment. You checked your phone—just the usual notifications, a missed call from an unknown number, and a message from Sarah that simply said, "Call me."
You barely had time to press dial before she picked up, her voice trembling. She tried to speak, but only the sound of soft, choked sobs came through. Finally, she managed, "I’m so sorry…"
The words hit you, but you didn’t understand them. You wanted her to stop, to say something else—anything else. She kept speaking, her words blurred and distant, as though you were underwater, drowning. Somewhere in her explanation, you heard the words, "peacefully… in his sleep." But it didn’t feel peaceful. Your mind raced, demanding answers. Why hadn’t he told you? How long had he known?
Over the days that followed, Rafe's family gently filled in the pieces: he’d been sick for years, silently enduring, doing everything he could to hide it. Every date, every moment spent laughing with you, was a deliberate choice he made to live his last days fully, in love and joy, with you.
He hadn’t wanted you to know because he couldn't bear to see you suffer for him the same way he was once familiar with in his senior year. Even in the end, he kept the truth locked away, shielding you from the loss he knew was coming.
The weight of his choice tore you apart. You wanted to be angry, to hate him for leaving you out, but in his silence, there was also a strange kind of love. A love that had given you a few precious, unburdened moments together. Still, the pain settled deep within you, refusing to ease.
The anger, hurt, and ache became constant companions in the days that followed. But in his absence, you began to understand just how much he’d given for you.
He'd shared with you how hard it was for him to deal with that eerie state of loss. The stage where the person isn't gone but you know you'll lose them. It alters you in a messed up kind of way and he wanted you as far from that reality as possible. He was protecting you from his own condition till the very end.
Helping his family to clear out his apartment was easily the hardest thing you'd ever done. You couldn't do it without tearing up with every belonging of his you touched.
His favourite hoodie that he never let you wear but loved when you did. The polaroids in his drawer that you took from your first date, taken from the floor of the ice rink.
You noticed he'd scribbled writing on the back of the photo.
She finally said yes.
That was all it took. The last bits of your composure were stolen from you and you wept on his bedroom floor. Everyone always told you it would get easier but it never did. How could things get easier when the other half of your heart was buried six feet below the ground?
You learned to live with the loss, forcing a smile when in the company of others and taking deep breaths every morning when you woke up. Mildly disappointed the realm beyond the living hadn't reaped you during your slumber.
Very slowly, you begin to adjust to this new reality. It’s not the life you imagined, but you learn to live with the loss, carrying him with you in the smallest, most tender ways. His favourite hoodie becomes your comfort on cold nights, wrapping you in his memory and his scent.
Just because he was gone doesn't mean you'd end all of your traditions. Each year on the fourteenth of February, you visit his grave, placing a single red rose on the stone as a quiet tribute.
Though the ache remains, you hold his spirit close, carrying him forward into every milestone and memory yet to come, honouring the love you shared while finding the strength to continue onward.
In some ways, your love story turned out to be just another cliché—until it ripped your heart out from your chest, leaving you with the unbearable ache of everything he left unsaid, every unfulfilled promise, and the haunting silence of a future that will always belong to him.
Somehow, even in the quietest, most heart-wrenching moments, you never gave up on finding the silver lining, because life’s too short.
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marvelfanfn2187a113 · 3 months ago
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First Day
Dean Winchester & adopted daughter!reader, Castiel & adopted daughter!reader (No destiel, everything’s platonic)
Requested by Anonymous
Synopsis: Dean’s adopted nephilim daughter doesn’t want to go to school
A/N: this one’s super short
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“But Jack doesn’t have to go!”
Dean rolled his eyes at your fourteenth attempt to argue.
“Well Jack is kind of running the universe now. Besides, he was born as a twenty year old, so he doesn’t count. It’s not my fault you aged normally.“
“It’s not mine either!” You insisted. “Why can’t I just keep learning at home?”
“Because I said so!” Dean insisted.
“Look,” Cas cut in. “This is gonna be good for you. You need to meet kids your age.”
“Right,” you scoffed. “Like I’m like any kids my age.”
“Is that what this is?” Dean asked. “You’re scared they’ll think you’re different.”
“I am different,” you argued. “Can’t I just go stay with Uncle Sam?”
“He’s busy with his own kids,” Dean said. “And you need to get out. You can’t stay in the house the rest of your life.”
“You don’t have to be scared,” Cas assured you. “I’m an angel too, remember? And I still fit in with the humans.”
“That’s different,” you huffed. “Teenagers are meaner.”
“How would you know?” Dean countered. “You haven’t met any of them.” He parked the Impala in the school parking lot. “Now get out there and make some friends.”
“You know I could just teleport back home,” you threatened.
“Yeah, and if you wanted to you woulda done it by now.” Dean was smirking at you in the rearview mirror. “We both know you want some friends, you’re just scared. But I’m not gonna let you back out because you’re a little freaked, so get going.”
“But dad—“
“Out!” Cas had mostly stayed out of the argument, so when he snapped the single word you immediately unbuckled your seatbelt and stepped out of the car.
“Hey,” Dean called out the open window, and you turned. “Have a great time, ok?”
You shot your dads a ghost of a smile, then turned and headed into school.
Neither man was surprised when you got back at the end of the school day and told them all about the new friends you’d made.
Taglist:
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maeby-cursed · 11 months ago
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➴ OH, STUPID CUPID ! ♡
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✧ a/n: happy valentine's, dear angels ! ♡
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Toji Fushiguro doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day.
Why would he, after all? It’s merely a capitalist ploy to keep the consumerism engines turning. You can disguise greed in glittery pink polish and white chocolate bonbons but at its core, it won't change its nature.
And so, he spends St. Valentine’s like he would any other day; gets up at dawn, works until his hands are peeled and his back aches and gets home to eat whatever he has left over. 
It’s a good routine, the most stable one he’s found for himself in years. 
He can't recall a time where the fourteenth of February meant anything at all. 
(Except for that one year that it had.)
But he won't think of withered flowers or laughing kisses or other sweets that have since rotten in his memory. A woman, a child, an apartment downtown.
That is all long gone now. The apartment downtown had gotten expensive, and the child had grown older. The woman had gone long ago and there were no more flowers or kisses or laughter.
It’s all capitalism, it’s all vapid and stupid and childish.
So, Toji Fushiguro doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day. That is until you come along, knocking on his workshop’s door.
You’re obviously lost, mumbling an inquiry about how much you could get for selling a motorbike you keep referring to as "an old piece of garbage".
He can't help but snicker at your wording, a little chuckle that grows into a full chest laugh when he sees what you’ve dragged to his shop. It’s painfully obvious that this thing isn’t yours.
You keep holding the handlebars with careful hands, sparing few disgusted glances to the vehicle, as if its mere existence wounded you.
He asks how long you’ve had it, and where you got it, and how much you’d like to get. 
You answer back curtly: two years, your ex, nothing as long as you get rid of it.
You seem annoyed just by having to be there and for some unexplainable reason this amuses him to no end. Maybe being surrounded by car engines in a small workshop with no windows is starting to affect him.
“I’ll take it.”
You raise your gaze from the dusty headlight, shocked by his offer.
“You will?”
“Sure thing. You don’t want it, I could use some new parts, I’ll just scrap it.”
You let out a sigh, relieved, and all the tension dissipates from your shoulders.
“Oh, that… well, that would be great! Thank you.”
Your smile makes him stop in his tracks. Pretty and warm and familiar – something dangerous. His head travels back.
After a second that lasts forever, he acknowledges what you've said, grunting as his only response and getting back to the store with you in tow.
“Could I leave it with you now or…?"
“Bring it back next week, I don’t really have a place to put it right now, y’know?”
You look around the place. It’s full of buckets of paint and car parts, no decor but stacks upon stacks of metallic shelves full of objects you can’t recognize. You chuckle awkwardly, seemingly in a better mood after the compromise you've arranged.
“Right, uhm… Actually, I'm not here next week, could I come back tomorrow?”
Toji turns back to stare at you, and for the first time, really sees you. You look young, probably in your mid-twenties, of bright eyes and shiny hair, and that pretty smile that keeps fluttering over your lips. 
He hasn’t done this in a long time… But maybe…
“I close at 10pm today, why don’t you come back then?” he says, closing his fists to stop them from sweating.
Your wondering eyes freeze on him then, and your lips part slightly. He just can't stop staring.  
“But it’s Valentine’s Day. Don’t you have any plans?” you ask, shyly.
“I don’t believe in that crap.”
Shit. That wasn’t supposed to come out like that.
“Oh,” you whisper. You're still grinning up at him, but your expression has lost its warmth, instead replaced by a polite awkwardness and doubtful gaze, and now he's kicking himself in his head.
“Sorry, did that bother you?” he asks, hiding his guilt with a smirk.
“No, not at all!" You laugh, playing with your hands. "I… just, I don’t mind it, I guess.
"I know it's not even a real holiday and that it's merely a product of capitalism, and that it’s all about sales and consumerism and all of that, but… I find it nice, you know? Having a day to be with the people you love…" You look around his shop once, before giving him a shy stare. "It’s sappy, I know.” You end with a shrug, your ears flushed.
Toji doesn’t say anything for a minute, he just breathes and takes it in. 
Oh, he’s grown bitter, hasn’t he? Old and sour. 
His son is out there right now buying flowers with his friends, his coworker is on a date at a fancy place, his one and only friend is buying chocolates for his wife… And he’s here at 5pm, with his hands dirty and his neck sweaty and the prettiest woman he’s seen in a long time in front of him, with no plans for tonight and a lovely smile hidden by a familiar sort of nervousness.
What is wrong with him? Is he truly that fucking stubborn? Can't he deal with a bit of pink?
He’ll admit that he's never minded the chocolates and the roses – even if they aren’t his favorite – and that he always laughs at the cherubs and the cheesy postcards. Of course, he won't talk about how he still hums old 50s songs while he works or how he indulges in a bit of dessert when February rolls around, though.
But he knows. He's always known.
So, maybe it’s not all about the money. Maybe it’s more about being accompanied for once since he was twenty three and alone. Maybe it’s more about taking a shot at getting something good back.
Maybe it's not all capitalism, not all vapid and stupid and childish.
“Yeah… I guess it’s not all that bad.”
“I do like it… sometimes,” you finish, as if completing his train of thought. This hasn't happened to him in a long time. "I’ll be back tonight then…?”
He recovers quickly, smirking briefly before turning to clean his hands with a rag.
“Sure, at 10pm," he says, over his shoulder.
You laugh, cheerful once more, and begin walking to the door.
“It’s a date!”
And, God, he really hopes it can be, if only because it’s Valentine’s Day.
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© 2024, MAEBY-CURSED — do not copy/repost/edit.
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zigrethsnotebook · 22 days ago
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[PASSIONATE KISS]
Ford x Reader
words: 1,850
tags: sfw, angst, fluff
a/n: realized i never wrote a proposal story for Ford so here you go<3
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Ford had been out on an expedition for three days. He’d told you it would be too dangerous for you to come along and even though you had strongly protested he would not budge. So now here you were, waiting for your boyfriend to return from his trip that he’d assured you would take no more than 24 hours.
“Either I find them immediately or I won’t find them at all.” Was what he had told you. But knowing this and that he considered the whole endeavor extremely dangerous had left you incredibly anxious. What if something happened to him? You’d never be able to find him in those woods.
Stan tried his best to reassure you, told you: “Hey, the guy’s been running around different dimensions for thirty years. Give him some credit. He won’t go down that easily.” It helped. But today you could hear in Stan’s voice that he was beginning to feel a little uncertain about it as well.
You couldn’t sleep that night. You were restless, turning from side to side and trying to shut your thoughts out with music and podcasts and anything you could turn the volume up enough to drown them out. The fears of Ford not coming back.
Eventually, you got up, walked aimlessly around the shack, stared out a window for an hour and then turned to head back to bed, giving sleep another shot. Except your feet didn’t walk you to your bed but instead downstairs into Ford’s lab.
As if you were guided by invisible strings you walked straight to Ford’s desk, sitting down on his chair and wrapping yourself in the lab coat he had thrown over the backrest of the chair. It smelled like him. You pulled it around you and up to your nose. This was the closest to him you’d felt since he left.
You pulled the chair closer to his desk and took his third journal out of its place on the shelf. Ford was carrying the fourth edition with him right now. You flipped through it, chuckling at all the entries the kids had left in it. Then you got the part where Ford got it back. Right around the time you two met.
Amongst his stories of different dimensions and discoveries about the world as it was now, thirty years after he had left it, there were sketches of your face scattered between. Always with little annotations about how gorgeous he thought you looked that day or something new he learned about you. Your favorite Ice-cream flavor, your least favorite beach boys song or whatever he had found the guts to ask you that day.
The memories brought tears to your eyes. What if all of that would now be forever in the past? What if he won’t ever be back?
You turned the page again and found a picture of you both dancing together at the kids’ fourteenth birthday party this year. Mabel had taken the photo and given it to Ford. Seeing you both so happy was too overwhelming. Some tears slipped from your eyes and onto his coat.
You flipped the page once more, not able to keep looking at that photo of you both. The next page had just one sentence that Ford had written. It was the last page of this journal.
To be continued in Journal 4… hopefully with wedding pictures ♡
Your breath hitched. What? No. This… You two had never spoken about marriage. In fact, when did he write this? You didn’t remember this being in here. Your thoughts raced a million miles an hour.
So much so, that you didn’t even hear Ford entering the Lab and walk up behind you. When he saw your hunched up trembling form and the page of the journal you were looking at he softly called out your name. You jumped in surprise and quickly turned around.
“Ford!” You called out, stood up and fell around his neck, hugging him tightly. “I was so worried for you, Ford.” You mumbled into his shoulder, but he understood, hugging you tighter as well. “I know, love. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for this to take so long.”
After a moment you pulled back slightly and placed your hands on either side of his face. With a stern face you told him: “Don’t you ever do that again, you hear me? 24 hours… you were gone for three whole days!” Ford chuckled sheepishly. “Four days, actually. It’s already past midday, love.” Flabbergasted, you stared at him. “That’s even worse!”
Only now did Ford look at you. Like, really look at you. And his face fell as he saw the state you were in. Heavy bags under your eyes, tear lines staining your cheeks that haven’t even dried. You were still in your pyjamas with just his dirty lab coat protecting you from the cold of the lab. And it wasn’t doing a particularly good job - you were shivering.
Guilt flooded Ford’s systems at the sight. He raised one of his hands from your waist to your cheek, wiping away the remaining tears with his thumb. You immediately leaned into his touch. “I am so very sorry, love. I shouldn’t have taken so long. I’m so sorry.” He whispered the last part as he leaned in, resting his forehead against yours.
You sighed. Just having him here with you again felt like a heavy weight was lifted off of your shoulders. In a much softer tone you told him: “Just don’t leave me like this again. If something takes longer than expected, find a way to let me know. I know you can.”
Snaking your arms back around his neck, you pulled his body closer to yours, your own seeking the warmth of his. “I felt so helpless. If something had happened to you, I-” Your voice broke off, unable to finish the sentence. “I know, love.”
After a few moments just enjoying being able to hold each other again, Ford let the hand from your cheek fall to his coat pocket, fumbling around in it. He chuckled, the noise sounding a little bittersweet, when he found what he was looking for. He pulled back from you slightly and looked into your eyes.
“I also know that this is probably the worst moment to bring this up, but: Do you know what I was looking for out there?” You shook your head ‘no’. This better not be about some creature right now. Now was not the time.
“Well, I only told you that the expedition would be dangerous, because I didn’t want you to come along and I knew that would be the only way to get you to stay home.” He smiled warmly at you, your stubbornness being something he loved so much about you.
“But it really wasn’t all that dangerous at all. Because, what I was really looking for was something that would complete… something. Something I’ve been meaning to give to you for a while now and… something I felt wasn’t worthy of being yours yet… It needed something special.”
You furrowed your brows at him, confusion taking over you. Ford softly let his hands wander to your arms, unwrapping them from himself as he continued. “And… I was looking for this something in that spaceship that sits under the town and also in the cave systems beneath the mountain. Well, two somethings really.” You felt him drift off into some sort of story as you saw his eyes start darting around the room.
“Ford. What are you talking about?” His eyes landed back on you. “Right.” He cleared his throat, trying not to freak out. His hand wandered back into his coat pocket and as soon as he found this mysterious object, he got down on one knee.
Your eyes widened in shock and you gasped. Ford didn’t know this, but with him returning you had completely forgotten about the last page of his journal.
He pulled a little black box out of his pocket and held it in front of him. “Right. I went to the spaceship to find the rarest metal in the solar system. Then I went to the cave systems to find the shiniest crystal on the planet. With those I went to visit Fiddleford, who graciously helped me weld the metal into a shape that could hold the crystal.”
Ford took a deep breath and opened the box revealing a marvelous silver ring, welded into intricate patterns that surely held some sort of meaning, holding a deep blue crystal that looked like it reflected the universe itself. You gasped again and let your hands cover your open mouth as you continued to stare at the man in disbelief.
“I couldn’t let you come along because I wanted this to be a surprise for you. I… You deserve the universe and all the good within it and I am more than willing to give it to you. So here I am. Asking you,” then he said your full legal name. “Will you please marry me?”
By now there were new tears running down your cheeks, but this time they were tears of joy and happiness. You nodded your head as you sobbed out a “Yes! Of course, I’ll marry you, Ford!” and fell into his arms again. Ford hugged you tightly, all the worries that had plagued him for taking so long washing away in an instant.
You pulled away again slightly, giving Ford the opportunity to slide the ring onto your finger. It fit perfectly, like it was made to be there. That’s because it was.
Ford held the hand that wore the ring in both of his, cradling it like it was made of glass. He looked at it with so much love and affection that you felt your own heart swell with love as well. When he looked up at you again, you leaned in for a kiss.
Your first kiss in four days and also your first kiss as an engaged couple. You basically devoured the man. Ford wasn’t any better. Both of you took this kiss and put all the emotions of the past four days into it. All the stress and worries. All the hope and love.
Ford was first to turn his head slightly and deepen the kiss, one of his hands wandering to the back of your neck, holding you close. Not that you wanted to leave. You parted your lips slightly and nibbled on his lower lip. This caused Ford to moan softly and his tongue to leave the confines of his own mouth and instead explore yours.
While this was happening you both moved your bodies so that Ford and you fully sat on your legs. You didn’t sit on his lap like this because you knew his legs would fall asleep immediately. It had happened before.
After a while you broke the kiss, panting slightly. Ford let his forehead rest against yours again. “I don’t think I’ll leave you again any time soon.” You chuckled. “Yeah. You better not.”
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flowerandblood · 7 months ago
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Rhaenys's Letters
The Fall from The Heavens Universe Chapter
[ canon • Aemond x Strong • niece female ]
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[ warnings: description of discomfort associated with menstruation, symptoms of depression ]
[ description: The messages Rhaenys sent to Aemond in The Fall from the Heavens over eight years. These are Aemond's favorite letters, to which he returned most often – her letters, which appear in the main chapters, are also added. ]
* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *
My other works: Masterlist
_____
The First Letter One day of separation
My dearest Prince, know that my heart is torn by despair and disbelief. I pray for you and your health every day. I hope that as soon as you feel better we can meet. I am sending you books that I thought might interest you. Your Rhaenys
The Second letter Five days of separation
My dearest Prince, I am writing to you to ask what is your state of health. I imagine that you must suffer terribly and that is why you have not found the strength to answer my letter. I promise to wait patiently for a word from you so that I may see you again. Your Rhaenys
The Third letter Two weeks of separation
My dearest Prince, Your silence worries me. I know that you are certainly angry with me and my brothers and I understand that. I want you to know that I am immensely, immensely sorry and I will do everything I can to ease your pain and suffering, if you will only let me. I miss you very much. Your Rhaenys
The Fourth Letter Two months of separation
My dearest Prince, my mother is about to remarry, which will mean that we will be moving to Dragonstone permanently and will probably be visiting the Red Keep very rarely. I ask you for this grace to be able to see and embrace you before we set off on our journey. Your Rhaenys
The Sixth Letter Six months of separation
My dearest friend, I've been practicing breathing fire with Larax today. Looking at her, I remembered how you visited her with me in the Dragon's Pit. I am convinced that my dragoness misses you as much as I do. I would love to know what your training with Vhagar is like. Your Rhaenys
The Eighth Letter Ten months of separation
Today I heard a powerful storm outside the windows of our fortress. Lightning flashed through the sky as if it were the gods in their anger wanting to show their fury. It reminded me of a legend you once told me about, that it is the enraged Warrior who throws them in fury at men who bring dishonour to their fathers.
The Ninth Letter One year of separation
It has been a year since I saw you for the last time. Gods witness to me that my heart breaks at the very thought.
The Tenth Letter One year and two months of separation
Although I smile, my insides do not feel joy. It seems to me that I am no longer capable of it. The days flow through my fingers and I don't even notice it.
The Eleventh Letter One year and four months of separation
Me and my family are heading to the Eyrie to pay a visit to my mother's relatives. I've never been there before and I'd be delighted to share my thoughts on the place with you when we return. Rhaenys
The Twelfth Letter One year and six months of separation
The Eyrie is a beautiful fortress seeming to reach for the sky. The legendary Moon Door we both once read about are terrifying and, indeed, leaves the doomed with no chance of survival. My cousin, on the other hand, is a very emotional boy, even more so if something doesn't go his way. I assume this is due to the fact that he only has a sister whose opinion he does not value. I suspect he wouldn't arouse your sympathy either.
The Fourteenth Letter One year and ten months of separation
Larax is growing so fast. Daemon says that one more year and I can try to ride her. I can't wait to fly to the heavens on her back.
The Fifteenth Letter Two years of separation
The Septa says that a lady should never hold a blade in her hand. I must admit that I do not understand this reasoning. What if there is no man beside her to protect her? Is it better to be dead but full of dignity than alive and worthy of condemnation? I regret that I never asked you to teach me how to wield a sword.
The Seventeenth Letter Two years and four months of separation
I reminded myself that in a few days it will be your Name Day. I hope my letter will reach you along with my warmest wishes. I ask you to take care of your well-being and your health.
The Eighteenth Letter Two years and six months of separation
Today, something terrible happened, and although I know these things don't concern you or may even cause you disgust, I can't confide in anyone else about my suffering. My bloody flower has blossomed. My mother says that I have now become a woman, but I feel nothing of the sort. I feel dirty, I feel pain, I feel ashamed. I don't want to be a woman. I don't want to be a wife. I don't want to be a mother.
The Nineteenth Letter Two years and ten months of separation
I feel terror, uncle. When I wake up and fall asleep, when I embroider and eat, when I take a bath and read. I have a feeling that something is about to happen, but only a sullen silence surrounds me.
The Twenty-second Letter Three years and two months of separation
Does it sometimes seem to you too that you are living in a half-sleep? That the people around you are a smudge, that what they say reaches your ears but not your mind, that you feel and experience nothing? In the presence of my family it seems to me that this is just a figment of my imagination, but staying alone in my chamber I find that I put on a mask in front of them, under which there is nothing but silence.
The Twenty-third Letter Three years and six months of separation
I have been reflecting on our childhood recently. How charmingly naive we were then, how simple our lives seemed to me, and what the future held for us. It was always safe in your arms. It was a feeling I had not experienced for three years and would never experience again. It was not your strength or bravery that caused this, but your words, how perfectly you always understood me. Your rejection is a torment.
The Twenty-fifth Letter Three years and eight months of separation
Do you think we were really in love with each other then, when I kissed you for the first time? I have often wondered about this. I remember that day exactly, your emerald tunic, the smell of the lemon cake I brought you as a consolation. The taste of your lips, moist, full and warm, your heavy breath, your trembling hand that touched my cheek and your later request. I felt as if, without the presence of the Septon, we had become husband and wife in that moment.
The Twenty-sixth Letter Three years and ten months of separation
My mother gave birth to a healthy boy today, who was named Aegon. I thought the heavens had mocked me and my brothers when I saw his snow-white hair. I hope you feel satisfaction, uncle.
The Twenty-seventh Letter Four years of separation
Ever since Dragonstone resounded with the squeal of an infant, a little hope has risen in my heart. Little Aegon is growing fast and is very loud.
The Twenty-ninth Letter Four years and two months of separation
Today me and Daemon took a walk among the cliffs. I'm glad that he treats me like an adult and speaks to me about important things. Apart from him, only you have never treated me like a child.
The Thirty-second Letter Four years and eight months of separation
It's been four years since I haven't seen your face. It makes me wonder how much you've changed. Are you tall like Jace, have your hands, your arms, your stature changed. I try to imagine you often, but I catch myself with horror that your face is blurred in my memories and I cannot see it clearly.
The Thirty-third Letter Four years and ten months of separation
Today I flew on Larax for the first time. It was a terrifying and wonderful experience at the same time – my heart was pounding like mad as we took to the skies together. I didn't know it would be so loud, the wind and speed completely stunned me, but for the first time in months I felt free. As I flew I thought of you and your Vhagar.
The Thirty-sixth Letter Five years and four months of separation
I recently read the reflections of a philosopher that I wanted to share with you. He writes that every human being is like a fortress. The more walls we put up around us, the more secure we feel inside, but also the more isolated we become from the world. If we don't take the threat and leave it, no one sees us as we are and we become like the stones of which it was built – without feelings, without desires, without hope.
The Thirty-eighth Letter Five years and eight months of separation
I can't believe it's been almost six years since I've seen you. I'd like to say I'm in despair, but that's not quite true. I feel a great emptiness, as if I have a hole in my heart. It's not painful, but it's a bit like a tickle that makes it impossible for me to have peace of mind. My desire is to stop feeling anything at all.
The Fortieth Letter Six years of separation
I am sending you a piece of poetry that made me think of you: and though she did not know why, her heart remained turned towards him her body went forward, and an emptiness lingered inside her as if it was no longer a part of her
The Forty-third Letter Six years and six months of separation
Baela asked me if I had ever desired someone, and I didn't know what to answer her. What is desire? Is it a purely physical sensation or something that happens in the mind? I craved your kisses because they were warm and soft, because they made you as close to me as possible, joined with me by your body. I craved all of that, not just the touch of your lips.
The Forty-sixth Letter Seven years of separation
I was reflecting today on what duty is. The duty of a husband to his wife, a wife to her husband, a son to his mother, a daughter to her father. I always wanted to be faithful to our family because I thought it was one. Now that it has been cut exactly in half, I feel that although I want it to be united, I am contributing by my very existence to its further disintegration and destruction. We control the dragons, but we cannot control our own vanity.
The Forty-seventh Letter Seven years and two months of separation
Have you ever wondered what Essos and the temples of Old Valyria looked like? How powerful was the kingdom of our ancestors? And what remains of it? Balerion is a mere skull, the temples are ancient ruins. Ashes and dust.
The Fiftieth Letter Seven years and eight months of separation
I'm being affected by that terrifying emptiness again, uncle. I thought maybe it was simple melancholy, but this is something else, more disturbing, as if someone is sneaking up on me in a dark room. My mind is constantly vigilant, constantly sharpened. Even when I sleep, I don't rest, I wake up in the morning more tired than the evening before, and my mouth, though many words would like to leave it, remains closed.
The Fifty-second Letter Seven years and ten months of separation
Sometimes I think I have gone deaf. My mother or brother say something to me, I look at them but I don't hear them or understand them. I respond with anything, I don't know what myself, and I return to my mind, locking myself in. I get distracted too easily and I don't know what it is caused by. Even when I read, I catch myself looking at a certain point for many minutes, being on the same page over and over again. I am in my chamber with my body but not my soul – I eat, drink, sleep but I experience nothing, nothing pleases or saddens me. I exist in a world that is nothing but an unpleasant disappointment to me, and whose strict rules I have long since come to terms with.
The Last Letter Eight years of separation
Dragonstone appears to me like a prison, like a black coffin, the sky above me full of clouds. I can’t remember the last time light dawned in my heart − when I wake up I wonder for a moment about the meaning of it all, only to realise that thinking about it is pointless, it only sinks me further into the darkness. It seems that the more I move away from what surrounds me, the greater the silence that settles in my head. After what happened something inside me died. Not in the aspect of my body, but in the sense of a conviction that something is missing, like when you look in a mirror reassembled from hundreds of pieces and, even though it is whole again, you can clearly see its cracks. I wonder, are you sleeping well, uncle? Are you having nightmares again? I often return in my dreams to that night. I see you and although I want to say something, I can’t get anything out, just as I did then. I wake up with the conviction that I am still a child. I pray a lot, although I don’t know myself to which gods anymore. I guess to any of who would be willing to listen to me. They don’t answer me, just like you.
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mizgnomer · 8 months ago
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Behind the Scenes of The Star Beast - Part Five
Excerpt from Benjamin Cook’s Star Beast Set Visit in DWM 597:
Tonight, in London’s famous Camden Market, David will be taking the Fourteenth Doctor’s first, not-so-tentative steps into the big, wide world – shooting the pre-title sequence for Special 1, The Star Beast. Although, right now he’s sheltering inside Modfather (‘VINTAGE STYLE, MODERN LIFE,’ says a sign in the outfitters’ window), to evade the glare of the cameraphones. In his new Doctor Who costume – plaid brown suit, white shirt and knitted silver tie, with a dark blue Shetland tweed coat – David doesn’t look at all out of place here. In October 2022, a mere 12 years, 9 months and 22 days after his last regular appearance in Doctor Who – as the Tenth Doctor, in The End of Time – David Tennant returned to the show. We’d never seen a Doctor regenerate into a former body before. For context, classic Who fans: David turning up in the dying moments of The Power of the Doctor is a bit like if Peter Davison had regenerated into Patrick Troughton’s Sixth Doctor at the end of Time-Flight, in 1982. Which he didn’t. Though, while we’re on the subject… David remembers watching Troughton return in the ’80s, for the odd one-off: “That felt like a man from pre-history turning up, to me in 1983, because I was just – what? – 12 years old,” he says of 20th Anniversary Special The Five Doctors. “But I bet it felt like yesterday for Patrick Troughton.” Forty years on, David can relate: “It’s like when people tell me – in fact, people on this set, working on this show, have come up to me this past week and gone – ‘I loved watching you as a kid.’ I’m like, … you were a kid? What, no! To me, it was a blink of an eye ago. To them… I’m pre-history!” But now he’s the present, too.
A huge THANK YOU to everyone who posted set photos, including Modfather on Instagram
Additional parts of this set are in the #whoBtsBeast tag. The full episode list is [ here ]
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majestyeverlasting · 10 days ago
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𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐬 | 𝐣𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫
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Pairing Joel Miller x Daughter Reader
Summary For years, you’ve survived tethered to Joel’s side, haunted by the loss of your sister and scared to step outside of his shadow. So when he bonds with the girl he’s tasked to smuggle, it strains your complicated relationship—until the threat of losing him forces you to confront just how much he means to you [angst, fluff, 5.4k].
A/N This is some of my favorite prose I've written recently. Daughter!reader is a new dynamic for me, but it was such a rewarding writing experience. Thank you to the anon who sent this request in. I hope you all enjoy.
∘°∘♡∘°∘
𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆
It’s cold outside today. If the draft sneaking in through the windows isn’t enough to let on, the sky itself is an undeniable sign. There’s no blue, no clouds that can be distinguished from the next. The entire expanse is a pale white sheet. As if the heavens have decided to shield earth from its view because of how far it’s fallen. 
Nevertheless, life in the Boston Quarantine Zone labors on. Day after soulless day, rain or shine. Like a well-oiled machine who’s battered parts of flesh and blood refuse to lay down and die. 
The glass of the living room window is cool against your forehead as you gaze outside. Everything is dull. Brick, metal, concrete, and endless earthtones constitute the expanse of buildings that seemingly stretch for miles. However, after having explored every corner of this walled city, you know it’s finite. A mere portion of a much larger world trying to find its footing again. 
The people walking on the sidewalks below look small from the height of your apartment. All seeming to move on a droning autopilot, clad in worn clothes that likely belonged to ten other people before them. 
With a sigh, you step away from the window and plop back down on the couch. The coffee table is cluttered with stained, old papers and trinkets, but you reach for the stack of Polaroids you’d previously been flipping through. Each photo and caption transports you back to a past moment in time...
tea for two ♡ March 13, 2003 
A day that seems closer than it actually is, now confined to a single, glossy frame. The white border has faded to beige and the picture itself no longer bears its original saturation. In it, you and Sarah are wrapped in each other’s arms, dressed like princesses for the tea party you invited her to. 
You were her three-year-old shadow, and even though you got on her nerves half the time, she found it hard to say no to you. Everybody in the Miller household did. 
lake day!!! July 4, 2003 
A sunny day. You, Sarah, and Joel are squinting into the light but smiling, your backs to the lake. Later that night, according to Joel’s retelling, you cried because of the colorful, celebratory explosions bursting amid the night sky. 
dad’s getting old (jk ily dad) September 26, 2003
Joel’s smile is shy as he sits at the kitchen table with a cone birthday hat on his head. Sarah was the one behind the lens while you clung to her leg, both you and Tommy making goofy faces in hopes of making Joel smile wider. 
He turned thirty-six that day. By that evening, everything had changed. Not just because of the outbreak, but because Sarah, who had been a light in so many of the photos, was gone too. A few months after her fourteenth birthday, no less. 
It feels strange being twenty-three now. An age she never got to see—
The faint metallic clinking of a belt being fastened prompts you to curiously stand to your feet. After setting down the photos, you saunter to the hallway, where there’s a straight view to Joel’s bedroom. The door is cracked, and warm lamplight pours out to light the end of the hall. With each step closer you take, the old, wooden floorboards creak. 
When you make it to the door, you rap your knuckles against it a few soft times. There’s shuffling on the other side. 
You knock again when there’s no response. “Dad?” 
“What’s up?” he doesn’t say it in a clipped, annoyed way so you know he hadn’t heard your previous knocking. 
“Can I come?” 
He’s quiet for a beat. “I’m finishing up getting dressed. But yeah.”
Inside, the bed still isn’t made. He’s standing in front of the full body mirror leaning against the wall. The paint of the gold trim around it is peeling, revealing the dark aluminum beneath. The glass itself is a bit foggy with stubborn grime that refuses to be scrubbed away. And right in the middle, at the same height that Joel stands, is a sizable spiderweb crack that makes his face look fragmented unless he bends down or shifts to either the left or right. 
Right now, he doesn’t seem to mind the distortion of his face, more interested in assessing his clothes. When you step up behind him, a little to the right, your entire body looks whole. Face and all. 
His eyes briefly flick to you as he continues to button the rest of his olive colored shirt. When he’s finished, he sucks in his stomach and pushes down the waistband of his dark jeans to rest at a more comfortable place on his hips. 
It isn’t until then that you notice a small portion of the back of his shirt is flipped up, the fabric thick enough to hold its place. You reach out to smooth it down. Joel hums in realization. 
“Thanks,” he mumbles. 
“Yep,” you murmur. “I thought you were off today.” 
Turning around and brushing past you, he sits in the accent chair to put on his boots. A grunt escapes him with the effort of leaning down. You watch as his thick, battered fingers fumble with the laces until they produce two neat bows. He sits back with a sigh when he’s done, running a hand through his fluffy, silvering hair. 
“I’m meeting with Marlene,” he says. The way you frown tells him that’s not a good thing, or nearly enough information. “Tess will be there too. It’s looking like we might be able to get that car battery we need to set out for Tommy.” 
You process that information with a slow nod. The idea of finding him feels elusive these days. 
A few weeks ago, Marlene told Joel she knew a couple guys who could provide resources. At various points in the months prior, she claimed the very same thing. Every promise she made fell flat because those said contacts either died or backed out of the negotiation. Yet, Joel held out hope every time. 
It used to be you who accompanied him whenever he went to meet with Marlene, but it’d gotten to the point where you couldn’t bring yourself to believe her or stand seeing her face. 
But Joel still did. For the sake of his own conscience. For Tommy. 
After standing from the chair, he fishes into his back pocket for a red cardstock meal card. When you reach out to take it from him, he doesn’t let go, instead opting to look directly into your eyes. 
“Want you to meet us for lunch at the northern dining commons at noon. We should be done by then,” he says, waiting for you to nod so he knows you’re tracking. 
“Don’t leave before then, alright? It’s getting crazier out there. Don’t know if it’s ‘cause summer’s coming or what.” 
“I won’t,” you insist. 
When you try to take the card again, he holds onto it just for the sake of coaxing a smile out of you. It doesn’t quite meet your eyes, but it’s enough to tie him over for now. He lets go of it just as you’re in the middle of pulling, and the lack of resistance makes you stumble backwards. The sound of amusement he huffs out earns him a light punch to the shoulder. 
“I mean it, though.” He points a finger. “Don’t leave till it’s time, alright? We’ll fill you in on everything then.” 
Rolling your eyes, you follow him back out into the living room. “I already said I wouldn’t.” 
“Well, reiterating is my job.” 
Those are the words he leaves you with before heading out the door.  
A few hours later, when the clock strikes twelve, you’re eating at the dining commons alone. Anxiousness prickles beneath your skin. You soothe yourself as chatter and the clinking of silverware float up all around you…
Everything’s fine. Joel’s alright. Tess is alright. Just finish eating and go home. 
•••
Sunset paints the sky that evening. The clouds that lingered all day have finally made way for an expressionist ombre of blue, pink, and orange. It's beautiful in a way that would’ve been worth photographing once upon a time. 
All you can think about is the fact that Joel hasn’t returned. 
A little past seven, voices arise in the hallway. They’re hushed and somewhat frustrated, one of them undeniably belonging to Joel. By the time keys hastily begin jingling in the door, you’re popping to your feet from the couch. A second later, it swings open with enough force that it hits the neighboring wall. 
“Get inside,” Joel orders. You can’t see him from where you’re standing. 
You can’t see anybody. 
“I don’t have to keep listening to you,” quips a tight, youthful voice. “Whatever happened to stranger danger?”  
“Move, Ellie,” Joel says. “Before I make you.” 
A young girl wearing a backpack trudges into the apartment with a scowl. After looking around the bleak accommodation, her eyes settle on you. The air falls silent. You note the wispy flyaways escaping her short ponytail, the slight redness to her eyes like she’s been either crying or rubbing them. 
Ellie sizes you up in return. You can see it in the calculated rove of her dark gaze, the way she squares her shoulder to match your guardedness. 
She eventually whips her attention back to Joel. “Who the hell is she?” 
“Told you I didn’t live alone.” That’s all he gives her before redirecting his attention to you. He seldom reveals the entirety of what he’s feeling in a given moment, but you can see the guilt weighing down on his shoulders. “I—” 
“You missed lunch.” 
He runs a heavy hand down his face. “I know.” 
The girl looks between the two of you with owl-like attentiveness that borders on amusement. At least she wasn’t the only one having a shitty day. Outside, shouting voices arise in the distance. Glass bottles break. 
“Dad. You wanna tell me what’s going on?”
Ellie’s eyes widen at the revelation. 
Joel doesn’t say anything because you’re staring daggers straight into his very being.  
“I’m immune to the virus,” she speaks up. There’s a hint of pride in her tone, like she’s looking past the present to some undefined future in which she saves the world.  
“He’s gonna take me to the people who can find the cure. Then you guys are gonna go find Timmy or whatever—Tommy.”  
It’s an oversimplification, but Joel doesn’t have the energy to expound right now. Not when you look like you would lunge for him if it wasn’t for the girl.
••• 
Later that night, he sees the first shove coming. Your eyes darken until you’re no longer able to constrain your frustration to a mere look. It frustrates you all the more when he doesn’t budge. So you do it again, pushing both your hands straight into his chest. 
All he does is take a single step backwards to create distance, hands raised in surrender. The fact that he isn’t reacting makes more heat consume your face. 
Until, finally, he grabs your wrists. 
“Are you done acting like a child?” he asks.
“As soon as you quit treating me like one,” you bark. “All you do is give orders and break promises, and I’m supposed to keep following you around like a dog.” 
“I don’t see any shackles.”
“Because it’s you,” you retort, attempting to pull away from his light hold. “You’re the shackles, the prison guard, and the key.” 
Those words make him drop your wrists as if you’ve stung him with poison. He takes a seat on the edge of his bed and drops his head into his hands with a heavy sigh. The mattress creaks under his weight. In the new silence, you stand and stare at him as your breaths even out. 
Neither of you are aware that Ellie has her ear pressed to the other side of the bedroom door, listening. 
When he lifts his head, only then are you aware of how tired and worn down he looks. His hair is more disheveled than it was this morning. The same hair you used to playfully run your fingers through and litter with sparkly hair clips. Except now, his face is void of a smile. 
“I’m sorry about lunch, alright?” His dark eyes search yours for any inkling of forgiveness. He knows he scared you. That’s what’s beneath your anger. “I didn’t know I was gonna get held up like that.” 
Joel Miller was a lot of things, but a pushover wasn’t one of them. 
If he really wanted to, he could’ve at least come to the dining commons to explain. Or ignore Marlene’s request entirely, and force her to find someone else to smuggle the girl. Even Tess had refused to involve herself in the escape plan because she feared it would be all risk and no reward.
“What happens if these guys turn out to be dead too?” You ask Joel, voice softer than before. “What if this is yet another exchange that falls through?” 
He knows you have a point. He also knows he has a brother out there miles away who recently sent him a signal. 
“If there’s a chance, I gotta take it,” he says. “And if we get out there and nobody’s waiting for us, we’re heading to Wyoming anyway.” He meets your gaze. 
You swallow and blink in surprise. “Really?” 
“I’m done waiting around for the right time,” he says, voice low but firm. “It’s never gonna come. Gotta forge it ourselves.” 
He sounds sure. Right now, you could use something to believe in. And if nothing else, a change of scenery from the city walls you’ve been confined within for far too long. 
•••
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑
𝐈.
The Capitol Building is empty when you arrive, no sight of the men who were supposed to take Ellie and give you and Joel the supplies you need to carry on. For a while, the three of you linger hopefully on the inside, where grass grows through the chipped marble floors. The only people who eventually arrive are ridden with the virus, their rotting bodies infested with fungus from the inside out. 
You promptly flee the scene after swallowing disappointment like a pill. 
𝐈𝐈.
The front door of Bill and Frank’s house is unlocked when you arrive in the desolate suburbia. Dead grass and tall weeds constitute the yard. The flower beds out front have long wilted. That’s enough for you to know that they’re either dead or gone. Joel pushes into the house anyway, with you and Ellie trailing behind. Bill left a note behind. They’re dead. Ellie asks questions about them that Joel thoughtfully answers.
The three of you take turns showering, then leave.
𝐈𝐈𝐈.
By early August, the trio feels more like a unit, having been bound together by shared letdowns and long nights under the stars. Some days, you don’t know where you are until coming across specific landmarks or recognizable cliffs. You and Joel teach Ellie how to shoot because she wouldn’t stop begging. Most days, as you’re making progress towards Wyoming, it’s the two of you trailing behind Joel, who often shoots unreadable glances over his shoulder to make sure you’re keeping up. 
Sometimes he lets down his walls to offer a small smile. 
•••
𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋
All around, tall trees stretch towards the sky, bearing vibrant leaves beginning to change colors. Every so often, a breeze rolls through and ruffles them. The same mourning dove has been calling out into the wind with no response in return. It’s a tune that filled the mornings of your childhood back when you were on the road to Boston with Joel. You hadn’t heard it much since. 
Twigs and leaves crunch beneath your boots as you squat to lower your fingertips into the creek. The water is cool against your skin, and clear enough to see the rocks at the bottom. When you stand up, you startle at the sight of Ellie standing a few yards away. She takes a few apologetic steps back, almost tripping over herself. 
Further away, Joel sits with his back propped against a tree as he reorganizes the contents of his backpack. 
“Jesus, El,” you sigh, pressing a hand to your chest over your heart. 
Ellie no longer seems sure of her reason for approaching you. There were times when she didn’t look her age—whether it be her stare or the way she carried herself—but this wasn’t one. Now, an air of self-consciousness surrounds her, like she’s caught between knowing nothing and everything all at once. 
“I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you heard me,” she rushes out. There’s a pang of guilt when you realize she thinks you’re angry. 
“No, it’s fine,” you insist, softening your tone. “I’ve just been in my head.” 
She nods and feels more comfortable to step up alongside you. 
“I’ve seen those pictures you’ve been looking at.” She continues when you don’t say anything, “Was that your sister?” 
Neither you or Joel have brought her up, but your silence is an answer. 
“What was she like?” 
“I don’t remember much.” 
Only bits and pieces. The larger gaps have been filled in by Joel over the years. He never talks about Sarah at length, but sometimes he’ll see something or you’ll make an expression that reminds him of her. That usually prompted him to tell a short story. Oftentimes, without meeting your eyes because he was too busy trying to busy his restless hands. Talking about her always makes him fidget. 
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I know what it’s like to lose someone.” 
Ignoring her, you ask, “Did Joel say when we were gonna start back hiking?” 
Embarrassed, Ellie clears her throat and shakes her head no. “Why do you use his first name like that?” You almost hadn’t realized. 
“Force of habit.” Her brows have furrowed in confusion, so you explain, “Half the time, people in the QZ only listened to me when I threw his name in the mix. It holds a lot of weight among certain groups these days.” 
“Like he’s the boogeyman or something?”
You allow a small chuckle to escape at her words. She feels like it earns her a place back in your good graces. Pride glimmers in the grin that stretches across her face. 
“Something like that,” you agree. 
The familiar crunch of leaves rises as Joel makes the short venture over to the two of you. When he sees the fleeting smiles on your faces, he clears his throat and waits to see if he’ll be invited into whatever small moment of amusement had arisen. He seems to have just missed it. 
“Speaking of the devil,” Ellie says, 
Joel frowns, remaining quiet as he walks up to the edge of the creek. He stares into the bottom for a few thoughtful seconds. Both of you watch as he squats down to splash his face with water, humming with refreshment. 
Ellie no sooner moves to copy him. She laughs, a bubbly surprised sound, as she stands with her face dripping and eyes squeezed shut.
“Wait, how do I—” 
“Use your shirt,” Joel quips lightly. 
“Oh, yeah!” She uses her shirt to dry her eyes just as he had.
The chuckle that rumbles through Joel’s chest is a sound you haven’t heard in a while. It makes you stand up straighter, unconsciously shifting his way as if the sound has the power to heal that part of you that misses him even when he’s within reach. Misses how things were before he grew hard and consumed with the need to survive. 
You didn’t fault him for it, though. 
What’s become increasingly clear, however, is that need was born as much out of spite as it was out of the pure, unadulterated will to live. The end of the world took Sarah, and to Joel, ensuring the two of you endured no matter what was his fuck you to the universe. His proof that everything he cared about couldn’t be ripped from his hands. It was a muddled labor of love. 
But right here, right now, he’s laughing. Not urging silence or trying to instill a survival lesson. He’s letting the moment wash over him for what it is. There you stand watching the two of them like a mere onlooker frozen in place. The entire scene is reminiscent of a different time. A different Joel. 
Something heavy and bitter settles in your stomach at the sight of their twin smiles. 
“Are you gonna try it?” Ellie asks like she’s referring to some grand experience.
“It’s just water,” you say flatly. 
Face falling, Ellie looks to the ground as if the bridge connecting you two had been burned yet again. Something protective flares in Joel’s chest. 
He gives you a pointed look. “You feelin’ alright?” 
“I’m great. Grand even.” 
The air shifts, levity disappearing like a vapor. All three of you can feel it.
“Let’s keep moving then.”
For weeks, you keep it moving. Through rain, shine, and snow. The closer you get to Wyoming, the further away you drift from Ellie and Joel. Like you’re the corner piece of an island that’s been chipped away from the larger landmass. 
𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑
Arriving at the Jackson commune does little to mend things back to the way they were. Some days pass by with more conversation and laughter between the three of you than others. Coming here had been the very thing you longed for, right alongside Joel. But tonight, as you fold clothes at the secondhand store where you volunteer, you wonder what there is to dream about now. 
You don’t know what you like or want. You were so young when the outbreak began that Joel’s practices and motivations became your own. You don’t know where he ends and you begin, and the inability to distinguish makes a part of you resent him. 
The bells above the door jingle as Ellie enters with her backpack slung over her shoulder. Half of her hair is pulled into a ponytail, while the other falls in loose waves just past her shoulders. For once, it looks like she brushed it properly. 
You see more of her than Joel these days. 
“Hey, I’m gonna go over to Dina’s,” she says as she pads over to you. “Joel’s not home yet so I figured I’d come tell you.” She absentmindedly runs her hand over the cashmere sweater you’d folded minutes prior to her arrival. 
You set down the pair of jeans you just finished folding. “He’s not?” 
“No,” she says, unphased. “Probably went straight to the dining hall.” 
A dull, gnawing sense of worry arises in your chest. Ellie can’t see it or feel it herself, still tending to believe Joel was somehow invincible. That every time he went out for patrol, he was bound to return because that’s what he’d proven to her so far. 
“Be safe, okay?” you tell her. “Thanks for letting me know.” 
When she leaves, you head to the store owner in the back room. He’s rummaging through a huge box of donated items. 
“Hey, Stewart?”
There’s a click as two glasses knock into one another. “Goddammit—what?” He straightens up to turn around and face you. 
He has a head full of wiry gray hair and his glasses are crooked on his nose. There’s a light sheen of sweat beading on his forehead. 
“You alright back here?” you tease lightly. He grumbles and waves you off. “Would it be okay if I clocked out early? Natalie and Craig are out there, so you’ll still have help until closing.” It’s been pretty slow this evening anyways. No chance a random rush would occur. 
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you want, kid.” He huffs and looks back down at the box. “I’ll see you on Thursday.” 
“You’re the best, Stew.” You flash him a playful smile. 
Outside, you shiver at how cold it’s grown. Crossing your arms over your chest does little to alleviate the creeping chill. The first snow of the season has yet to fall, but you can feel it lingering in the crisp air. Nevertheless, Jackson Hole is buzzing. People of all ages flit in and out of shops and gathering spaces. Everywhere you look, there’s a friendly face, if not an actual friend. 
This time of year, the entire commune is reminiscent of those cute Christmas village displays. Plush wreaths with red bows hang on wooden posts, and colorful fairy lights shine all around. The most activity buzzes over at the dining hall. Families talk and laugh on the benches outside, and you can see people walking around inside through the windows. 
As you head that way, the two men standing on the patrol office porch capture your attention. It was probable that Joel was inside either logging or assessing his hours. 
When you make it to the building, you recognize the taller man as Cameron, someone who often partnered with Joel because they had the same, collected, no-nonsense way about them. They automatically nod to you in greeting, but their lips are set in firm lines like they have news you don’t. 
You offer a shaky smile back as a lump forms in your throat, “Evening.” 
Your heart rate speeds up as Cameron opens the door for you. Inside, six men stand circled around Tommy, who’s tone is firm as he talks with his hands. Some have rifles slung over their shoulders, and others have pistols on their hips. Standing among the group is Lyle, a younger guy who was scheduled to be Joel’s partner today. 
The only person missing is Joel. 
You allow your eyes to rove over the plaques, portraits, and retired weaponry decorating the walls as you await the end of Tommy’s lecture.  
“Let what happened out there today be a lesson—” Tommy stops talking when his eyes fall on you, and other heads turn to look your way. A few throats are cleared, necks are scratched. 
“Hold on a second, fellas.” He breaks out of the circle and heads towards you, cowboy boots clunking against the wood floorboards. There’s a rifle draped across his body like he’s ready for action. 
“Hey, sweetheart,” he says softly, reaching out to squeeze your shoulder. He doesn’t have to say anything for you to gather what this meeting is all about. Everybody has discretely turned to look at the two of you. 
“Tommy…” 
“Why don’t we step outside for a second, yeah?” He places a gentle hand at the small of your back to guide you back out into the cold. Cameron and his buddy slip inside out of respect for your privacy. 
“What’s going on, Tommy?” 
He wrestles with how to answer. You see it in his dark eyes, the way he shifts his stance. His cheeks are a bit flushed. 
“Joel hasn’t made it back,” he breathes. “Lyle made it in without him around an hour ago. Said they ran into some disgruntled nomads and got split up,” he says. “Got a few people out looking for him now, and I’m about to go out myself.” 
How foolish you’ve been acting these past several weeks hits you all at once. Everything from purposely distancing yourself from Joel, to occasionally ignoring him whenever he tried to ask how you’ve been—you’d made a point to be away from the house as much as possible. Most of all, it’d been foolish to pretend he wasn’t one of the only people in the world you wouldn’t be able to live without.
A stinging sensation pricks in your eyes, but no tears form. You don’t have it in you to cry. Helplessness crashes down on you in the form of frustration. 
“What do you mean came back without him?” you ask. “What good are patrol partners if they’re just gonna leave you behind—” 
“Hey. Hey.” Tommy looks at you intently. His eyes are so much like Joel’s that you look away. “This ain’t the time to be pointing fingers, alright? When you’re out there like that and shit hits the fan, you don’t know how you’ll react.” 
“Definitely not by leaving my partner behind.” 
Joel had never left you behind. Things had gone sideways time after time again, but you managed to remain by each other’s side. 
Worry radiates off of you in waves. 
“I’m worried out my ass too,” Tommy admits, trying to assure you. “But judging other people ain’t gonna bring him back any faster,” he says. 
When release a heavy exhale and slink your head down, Tommy steps forwards to wrap his arms around you. 
“It’s gonna be okay,” he promises. “You eaten dinner yet?” 
“I’ll probably throw up if I do.” 
He pulls away to look at you under the soft glow of the porchlight. “Let’s at least try to get a little something in your system, okay? I’ll walk you over to the dining hall.” Tommy guides you that way, and everything around you seems to fade in and out as you walk. 
Tommy’s words manage to break through to you, “I know my brother. He’ll make it back one way or another,” 
He always did. Maybe a bite to eat didn’t sound so bad. 
•••
The unyielding weight of your nerves forces sleep to find you when you make it home. Not in your bed, but on the couch as you sit and wait for Joel’s return. Worrying has taken a lot out of you. 
Creaky footsteps arise out on the porch. Then the lock clicks. Neither of which you register. By the time Joel is walking in through the front door, your eyes flutter open. There’s a slight sway to his stride like he’s favoring one leg. Other than that, he’s still in one piece. You’re on your feet in an instant, ignoring the crick in your neck. 
“Oh my god, Dad—thank god.” 
Joel stops in his tracks as you hurry over to him. He lets you look him over as if he’s a child who just fell off a bike. 
“Hey, sweetheart,” there’s a rasp to his voice.  
Relief is written all over your face. It’s the most interest you’ve shown in him in weeks, but he’s grateful for it anyways. He’s grateful for any mind you’re willing to pay him. 
There’s so much you want to say—I thought I lost you, don’t scare me like that again, I love you—but none of it comes out. Instead, it’s all packed into the way you step forward to throw your arms around him. 
But even hugging him brings you close enough. 
Luckily, he’s so tall and broad that you settle for the feeling of being safe, cocooned in his arms. He squeezes you, not in the playful way that used to be a means of making you smile, but in a way that solidifies his presence. Assures you that he’s never going to let go. That you don’t have to worry about living without him.
As your tears wet his shirt, he doesn’t ease up or pull away. He remains constant like he’s been throughout your entire life, even on the days you thought you wanted him to disappear. 
He presses a lingering kiss to the top of your head and you’re overcome with warmth.  
“I love you to pieces,” his voice is low and thick with sincerity. “So much it hurts.” 
It’s you who reluctantly pulls away to look up into his eyes. 
“I love you too,” you murmur, cheeks glistening with tears. 
The tears gathered in his eyes finally spill over. He doesn't turn away or tilt his head back in an attempt to fend them off. They simply roll down his cheeks at your words. You can’t recall seeing him cry since Sarah passed away. Guilt, sympathy, and gratitude swell in your chest. For the years he’s been strong for the both of you, for everyone who’s ever leaned on him in a time of need. He never made it look hard. 
“Thank you,” you whisper. “For everything. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry—” 
“As long as you’re safe, I can handle being ignored.” He manages a small, sad smile. “It ain’t easy growing up during the end of the world.” Few things ever were. 
“It’s a little easier with you.” 
“Just a little?” He asks lightly. 
Both your smiles grow, and as you step back into his arms, every gripe and the chaotic events of the evening fade away.
Thank you so much for reading! Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. I promise I see them all. 
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whatsfourteenupto · 1 year ago
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They’re in their Taylor Swift era. Just let them be, it’ll pass.
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spookyrea · 9 months ago
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Love at First Sight (or should I walk by again?)
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Everyone keeps pointing out the fact that Loki can't keep his hands off of you - but that's just the kind of guy he is, right? Right...? (Or: the one where Loki keeps giving you mixed signals and you decide to take matters into your own hands. To mixed results.) Chapter 1 / 2 to read on AO3, click here
The office was empty and drearily dark; the sun had only barely crossed the horizon, bathing the 27th floor of the Avengers Tower in a deep purple haze. The early morning silence was tempered only by the sound of rain pattering against the window and the occasional rumble of the metro a couple blocks away. It was the kind of morning best enjoyed in bed under a mountain of blankets - not filling out cost-analysis reports.
Fury had had you out in the field for three weeks straight on consecutive missions, meaning you had returned home -  bruised, exhausted, dreaming of clean sheets and hours of mindless television -  to a veritable mountain of paperwork. Paperwork that you probably could have finished by now - or, at least, made way more progress on - if it weren’t for your resident distraction-on-legs.
Loki rearranged himself in the seat across from you; the toe of one of his meticulously polished shoes bumped against your sneaker, bullying its way between your feet to hook around your ankle. Your desk lamp cast a warm golden glow across his cheeks, accentuating the long line of his nose and the narrow cut of his jaw. His hair, usually so meticulously styled, was loose and curling wildly.
You signed off on the file in front of you, pointedly ignoring the warm flush that crept along the back of your neck, and added it to the mounting pile to your left.
Not twenty minutes after you’d settled in at your desk, Loki had strolled out of the elevators into the office. With all the magnificent theatrics he could muster, he’d thrown himself into the chair opposite yours - his chair - and plucked up the paperback he’d left dogeared a fortnight ago.
(Loki had a desk, kitty-corner to yours in the Avengers semi-circle. He seemed to prefer to sit at yours and complain about the lack of space.)
Not that it mattered where he sat. Your eyes seemed intrinsically magnetized to him; to the dark curls that brushed his jaw; to the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed. You could spend hours watching the meticulous flick of his wrist when he crossed his t’ s, or the way his fingers deftly rolled his cufflinks free to turn his sleeves up. 
Or, like you were doing right now; your pen hovered lamely over your paper while you admired him through the fan of your eyelashes, fixated on the way his index finger and thumb rolled the corner of one page as he read.
“Particularly interested in fourteenth-century extraterrestrial poetry, are we?” Loki intoned. Your eyes darted up to find that his were already on you, watching with a peculiar expression. It was easy to forget, sometimes, that he wasn’t human, but up this close there was a preternatural edge in his eyes that pinned you in place.
“No,” You replied quickly. Flustered, you flipped a random dossier open and scanned it over, adding the appropriate signature on every other page. Loki’s eyes burned a hole in the side of your face - you could practically feel the patronizing arch of his brow. “Just tired. Zoning out. You know. What was the name of the knife you let me borrow?”
“Earthbreaker.”
“Right, thank you.” You jotted the name down under Resources Returned With. It was the only weapon you’d not lost in Shanghai; all your other daggers and close-combat tools had been dissolved by an alien gunk that ate through Earthly metals like sugar in water. Loki had sliced the offending creature’s head clean off its shoulders before flipping the knife around to you, hilt-first. 
You did not, however, mention the pocketful of extra-terrestrial stones Loki had shared with you after the fact - but you knew from experience that Finance didn’t care about Loki’s magpie-like tendencies.
( These were very rare on Asgard. Courtiers sometimes sewed them into their sleeves as symbols of status.
They’re beautiful.
Yes, he’d agreed. But I think they’d look better against your arm, no?)
You finished off a comment on page seven and tucked your report into the Shanghai, Domestic (Earth) Threat folder. Despite Tony’s seemingly endless pockets, the Avengers finance department was meticulous about tracking your spending, which required an extreme detail when justifying any and all decisions made out in the field.
(It probably had something to do with the Berlin Incident, where a stray explosive arrow and a couple hundred tons of Hulk had cost Stark Enterprises a few hundred million dollars. Which, you would like to remind everyone, was not your fault. You were off a few blocks away wrestling mutant bat-dog-horses away from some celestial object intent on challenging Thor for his hammer.)
Loki materialized something out of thin air and slipped it between the pages of his book. “I think a break is in order, pet.”
“It’s only been forty-five minutes.” 
He flicked an errant curl out of his eyes while leveling you with a truly magnificent pout. “Forty-five agonizing minutes.”
“You haven’t even done anything today.”
“I’ve been keeping you company. It’s exhausting work. Really - I have a sudden appreciation for the court jesters back home.”
“Well your jester routine could use some work.”
Loki gasped. “I’ll have you know I am a wonderful jester.”
With a syrupy petulance, Loki plucked the folder from your hands and handed it off to the little robot Tony had assigned to the bullpen - the Paperwork Assistant Lite, or PAL for short. PAL shot off with a chirp, zipping on his tiny treads, the security badge on his chassis swinging merrily behind him.
You tried to tug your foot away in retaliation but Loki was faster. His other foot slid along the side of your shoe until your ankle was trapped between both of his. You twisted in his grip but with a quick yank Loki had you teetering on the edge of your seat. He leaned across the desk and bracketed your forearms with his. “Yield.”
You blew out a breath and screwed your face up in mock defiance. “No.”
“Do not force my hand, mortal.” His eyes shone a brilliant green and a crackling bolt of seidr whispered across your wrists warningly. He plucked your pen from your hand and tossed it aside carelessly. “Yield.”
“You’ll run out of things to throw eventually.” You swatted ineffectually at his calf with your other foot.
“And when that happens, it will be you I put over my shoulder.”
He caught your chin between his thumb and forefinger. You could hear the storm outside swelling; the rain was deafening, the wind rattling the glass in its frame. The desk groaned under his weight as he leaned in just a hair closer. Your breath caught in your chest as his mouth parted, lips shiny where he’d chewed them in contemplation. “You’ll yield one day, pet.”
The train rumbled along in the distance.
Twenty-seven stories below, a car horn blared.
Your pinky brushed the inside seam of Loki’s sleeve, and the whisper of skin on wool seemed deafening.
Loki fell back in his seat with a shove and loosened his grip. He slipped his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “What if I promise to leave you alone. On the condition that you let me buy you breakfast.”
You blinked at him. “Alone-alone? Or ‘alone for ten minutes before you blow up the coffee machine’ alone?”
He nodded grimly. “Alone-alone.”
You sank back in your chair. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes that the smarter, more sensible part of your brain cautioned you about. When you didn’t immediately respond, he offered his hand and wiggled his fingers enticingly.
“Fine.” As soon as you acquiesced, Loki unfolded from his chair and rounded the desk. He had already pulled your jacket off the back of your chair in the time it took you to locate your security badge and was holding it out for you. He helped you slip your arms in and straightened the collar so it lay flat across your shoulders. “But I fully intend on eating you out of house and home.”
He grinned. “Only the best for my little mortal.”
Loki stood at mock attention, his body ramrod straight but eyes slitted rebelliously, and offered you his arm. You rolled your eyes but did not deny yourself the luxury of folding your hands over his bicep.
Sleepy beams of sunlight filtered through the gaps between high-rises, drowned out by sheets of rain. The first few commuters were filtering along the sidewalk, heads bowed and shoulders up to block out the chill. Loki magiced an umbrella from nowhere and drew you in tightly. The cover it provided was cramped, giving you an excuse to tuck into his side. 
The two of you made the three-block journey to your usual coffee shop in companionable silence. It wasn’t until he had deposited you safely under the store’s awning that he dropped your arm, only to usher you inside with a hand on your back.
The shop was a hole-in-the wall, the kind of place without any seating except for a few mismatched tables in the back. Narrow enough that you could almost touch either wall if you stretched hard enough. But the coffee was good and the food even better, and on freezing mornings like this it was a welcome distraction from the sharp cold outside. 
Your usual barista, Yvonne, barely glanced up when you entered. Her dark eyes flickered knowingly between the two of you, lingering on the casual way Loki thumbed the seam of your coat sleeve.
“Morning,” She pulled open the pastry display and piled an assortment into a paper bag for you. “Coffee will be just a second. You want to try something new today?”
Loki was already nodding, sliding a stack of bills across the laminated countertop. To you, he said: “pick whatever you want, pet,” and then slipped to the end of the bar to wait for your drinks.
Yvonne dipped into the kitchen before returning with a little plastic container. “It’s a new recipe but we’re not sure if we’re going to sell it yet. Let me know what you think.”
You smiled and accepted the box, along with a paper bag containing your usual orders - a bagel for you and a couple of honeyed pastries for Loki. You and Loki were the only patrons in the shop, so you didn’t feel too bad lingering at the register. Yvonne leaned her forearms on the counter and poked your forearm. “So how’s it going with… you know.”
You took a forlorn bite of your bagel and cast your eyes to the end of the bar. Loki was chatting with the other barista, leaning over the counter to whisper something conspiratorially to her. She hung off of every word which, how could you blame her. He was, after all, charming and handsome and princely and a notorious flirt.
It was no secret that Loki thrived off of attention. When he had first arrived in his brother’s tow he’d been nothing but easy grins, sandwiched between Thor and Banner. It only took a week before Loki was grudgingly accepted after helping to stop the Bad Guy of the Week in a fishing town in New Brunswick, Canada and saving Natasha’s life, and it only took a year and another brush with near-death - which involved Loki using his seidr to literally hold Steve’s insides inside - for him to gain some leeway among the team. 
Which he abused immediately.
He was a terror. He was unpredictable, constantly underfoot, and he and Thor spent just as much time brothers-in-arms as they did at eachothers’ throats. He flirted his way out of most scrapes and connived his way out of the rest. Meaning - he absolutely thrived.
You had all come to rely on having him in your back pocket for missions. He was a great strategist and an even better fighter - even if he gave Tony a run for his money in the obnoxiousness department.
And you liked him. You really liked him - liked his company, liked his dry sense of humor. You liked the way your stomach swooped every time you heard his voice from around the corner, and how your heart clenched whenever he shot you a private smile during briefings. He was a great sparring partner and he seemed to have a sixth sense for when you needed a pep talk. But his attention never settled on you the way it did on marks or pretty secretaries or baristas.
A larger-than-insignificant part of you understood that what Loki liked about you was how your focus never waned. He liked the attention - for his little mortal to fawn over him. 
You’d thought he’d been interested at first, in the week after he’d saved Natasha. 
The touching. 
The pet names.
And then months went by and you watched him flirt with anything that breathed. And, on one occasion, something that didn’t.
“I still think he likes you,” Yvonne said. “He practically hangs off of you. Like one of those little baby sloths in a Dodo video.”
“That’s just Loki,” you said around a mouthful of bread. You’d confided in her a few weeks prior about your little crush in a moment of weakness and she, like Natasha, had taken to the cause like a dog to a bone. “He’s like that with everyone. I mean - look at him. He doesn’t really like me like that.”
The doorbell chimed, and Yvonne pushed away with a dramatic sigh. “He’s an ass then. Not worth it.”
“Who’s not worth what?” Loki sidled up beside you, coffee cups balanced in either hand. Yvonne shot you a look and waved the question away. You said a hurried goodbye and let Loki corral you into the deluge outside.
Heavy droplets of rain battered the pavement. Cars trudged along through broad trenches of water. Sliding his arm around your waist, Loki steered the two of you back the way you came. He held you tightly against his side to keep you both under the umbrella, so that your hips bumped with every other step and you could feel the heat coming off his coffee cup at your elbow. You took a sip of your own drink to distract yourself.
“Oh, I think you gave me your drink by mistake.” You pulled the cup away to check the label. Instead of an order, you found a ten-digit phone number scrawled in thick black marker.
“Terribly sorry, pet.” You didn’t miss how Loki’s grip tightened on your forearm when you strayed a little too far from the umbrella. He swapped your drinks, then made a disinterested noise. “I have to admire her bravery. I mean, it was clearly a stupid decision, but brave none the less.”
“Oh, be nice. The poor girl can’t help being charmed by your wiles.”
“I am devilishly charming, aren’t I?” Loki jostled you with his shoulder. You swallowed a sigh when he turned his nose into your cheek, his hot breath fanning over your jaw. “But I’m clearly not interested.”
“Loki,” you chided. “Your idea of clearly not interested is most peoples’ ‘oh god take me now’.”
“Preposterous. On Asgard we took courtship incredibly seriously. There were steps involved. A whole process. That,” he waved his hand, “was merely my enchanting nature.”
You rolled your eyes. “Jane told me that Thor offered her the head of a robot overlord he took down in Brazil.”
Loki pulled you to a stop to wait for the crosswalk sign to turn. “It likely would have been a stag on Asgard. Thor made do with what he could. Though I always imagined myself offering up a manticore, personally. Maybe a giant serpent.”
You hummed. “What a romantic.”
Loki shot you a curious look. “I spent much of my boyhood imagining how I might court my future mate. The gifts. The parties. I always imagined a woman at the edge of a dancefloor, how I might ask her to dance. She’d be dressed in my colours in a public declaration. Covered in gold. My sword at her hip…”
The crosswalk chirped. Loki drew you along, finishing lamely: “So no. That’s not ‘interested’.”
The rain was coming down harder, whipped up by the wind so it blew directly in your faces. A bead of water slid down your cheek; the umbrella only covered so much, and dark splotches were beginning to pepper the shoulders of your jackets and creep up the hem of your pants. A chill had settled over your skin unpleasantly… yet you couldn’t help but groan as you rounded the corner and the crisp steel contours of the Avengers tower melted into view.
Loki glanced over his shoulder, a boyish grin tilting his lips upwards. A few damp curls clung to the column of his throat.  “Tell you what, pet. Why don’t I practice my court jester routine a little longer?”
Loki crowded you against the side of the Avengers tower, shielding you from the worst of the storm. He launched into regaling you about the book he was reading - a collection of alien poetry from sometime around Earth’s 14th century, found in one of Tony’s art collections gathering dust. ( We called them engagements on Asgard. Because suitors would often ‘forget’ them in their intendeds’ parlors as an excuse to return later. ) All the while, he drew the plastic container Yvonne had given you from your paper bag and pried the lid off. Inside was a collection of small pastries with cracked sugar shells on top - profiteroles, you thought. Loki plucked one and gestured with it wildly to emphasize his point, nearly upturning the entire box in his enthusiasm.
“Okay, that’s enough.” You took the container from him and held it securely in your free hand. “What were you saying?”
“I was quoting. I said ‘ If love was like an ocean, then mine was like a well.’”
“Deep and drinkable?”
“Hand-dug.” Loki popped the sweet in his mouth. His eyebrows rose comically. “That’s good. That’s very good,” he said around a mouthful.
You hummed and held out your coffee so you could try. Instead, Loki took another one out and held it up to your mouth.
You sputtered out a nervous laugh. “What? No, take my coffee.”
Loki tsked and prodded your lips with the dessert. He fixed you with a strange look, something coy but serious at the edges. A warm flush rose along the back of your neck under his scrutiny, growing so unbearable by the second that eventually you opened your mouth and let him place the treat between your teeth. Sweet cream burst out of crisp, flaky pastry and chips of hard sugar - he was right, it was delicious. 
His narrowed eyes shone with mirth. “Good?”
Your breath stuttered when Loki pressed his lips to the pad of his thumb, licking away some sticky residue. His mouth pulled away with a wet peach sort of sound.
Your knuckles brushed the fabric of his shirt, warmed by his skin - a pleasant contrast to the cold, wet city air. You felt his muscles twitch under the barest touch. 
His mouth tipped upwards; the back of your hand slid against his abdomen when he leaned his hand against the wall next to your head, dominating your personal space.
In a panic, you blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Do you have a date for the party tonight?”
“Oh sweetling,” he purred. “I thought you would never ask.”
You grimaced. “Very funny. I thought you would have already asked Emily from Accounting.”
Loki blinked down at you. “What?”
“Emily? Tall, big hair, legs for days?”
“Why would I ever ask her?”
You picked at the label printed on your coffee cup. “I don’t know. I just figured someone like you would…”
“Would…?”
You huffed out a sharp breath and glanced at him from the corner of your eye. A strange expression had crossed his face. You regretted asking at all; it wasn’t like you wanted to know the answer to that question anyway.
“Nevermind. It doesn’t matter. I’m sure you’ll be fending people off left and right anyway.”
Silence settled over the two of you, decidedly less comfortable this time. His hand slipped from the brick wall and into his coat pocket roughly.
“Do you… Do you have a date tonight?”
“No! No, I…” You laughed uncomfortably. “No. No dates right now.”
Loki hummed. The furrow between his brows lessened but only slightly. 
You pushed away from the wall a little awkwardly, still balancing the box of profiteroles in your hand. Loki followed a step behind, pulling the door open for you mechanically. 
You rode the elevator up in silence.
When you reached the floor for the common office, you found PAL waiting dutifully outside the elevator. His little paper tray bobbed as he spun circles around your feet. 
“You are entirely too kind to him,” Loki chided while you cooed down at his adorably square face.
“Maybe he’ll be my date tonight. What do you say, PAL? Want to dance the night away?”
PAL lead the two of you to your desk, where he waited for you to assign him another file. The city was shrouded in a thick grey haze behind the floor-to-ceiling windows and bright, early morning light had flooded the room - a far cry from the intimate room you’d left. You sighed and slunk heavily into your seat.
Loki loitered. He drew the tip of one long finger down the cover of one of your folders, flipping through a quilt of post-it notes. “Ok. I’ll keep my promise and let you work now.”
“Thank you.” Before he could leave you reached out and grabbed his sleeve. He startled, glancing down at your hand before his eyes flickered back up to yours. You rolled the seam of his coat sleeve between your thumb and forefinger, dropping his gaze when it grew too hot. “I’ll see you tonight, yeah?”
Loki hummed. “I’ll be the one in black.”
You couldn’t help but feel like you’d said something wrong. His hand slipped from yours and into his pocket, his little book of poetry tucked under one arm. Your eyes lingered on the elevator doors long after he’d left.
You were in the process of deciding between two pairs of shoes when your front door slipped open. Never one for boisterous entrances, Natasha sashayed down your front hall into your living area, shoes and makeup bag clutched in one hand, and made a bee-line for your bathroom. You padded after her, adjusting your glittery skirt as you went.
It had become customary for you and Natasha to get ready together in your apartment, even outside of Official Team Events, so you didn’t bat an eye when she leant her hip against your counter and started pinning her hair out of her face. You hoisted yourself up onto the bathroom counter while she unpacked her tools, idly playing with a tube of toothpaste in companionable silence.
“On a scale of one to ten, how bad is the crisis you’re having?”
“How can you tell I’m having a crisis?”
Natasha waved her hand, as if to say international super spy, duh.
“Like a twelve,” you moaned. “I can’t do this anymore. I just get so… so awkward around him. And he gets off on it, I know he does. He amps it up to a hundred because he knows it makes me uncomfortable.”
Natasha leveled a look at you through the mirror. 
“He called Lydia in the mail room ‘Enchantress’ for a week. He calls me his pet. ”
“Some guys are into that.”
You made a face. “He’s not a guy though. He’s a god. How could I ever live up to that.”
You heard the front door open. Wanda had promised to come by once she’d gotten dressed. You called out her name, then returned to your moping.
“He just- ugh - he makes me crazy, you know? I like him so much. I swear if he touches me one more time I’m going to burst into flames. Or cry. Or worse, say something embarrassing. Something needy like ‘I love you please oh please let me have your babies’.” You wailed and buried your face in your hands. “I just need to find a guy to fuck it out of me.”
“If you’re looking for sex, Loki would be more than happy to help you,” Natasha grumbled. “Even if he wasn’t doing the roll-over-and-show-my-belly routine for you - which he absolutely is - he’d jump at the chance to ‘fuck it out of you’ .”
“You are not being helpful at all.” You hopped off the counter and adjusted your skirt. You were beginning to regret your decision, but the dress was a beautiful shade of green that both Wanda and Natasha had cooed at over Facetime a week ago. “I’m serious. I just need some random guy to blow off some steam. Get my mind off of him.”
Natasha tossed her eyeliner pencil in her makeup bag and zipped it shut. “Maybe you’re selling yourself short. Maybe you’re way more of a catch than you think you are.”
“And maybe sleeping with someone who actually wants me will fix my ego problem. Maybe my problem is that I’ve been spending way too much time around super soldiers and GQ models. Someone in my league. Someone totally normal who won’t laugh in my face and pat my head like I’m a horny lap dog.”
Natasha tsked. “It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind. So, what’s the plan? You find some guy, take him home, ride him into the sunset and then… Go on pretending you’re not totally in love with-?”
“Don’t say his name! I’m serious, you’re going to jinx it or something.” You glared at her reflection. “The guy doesn’t matter. In fact, he shouldn’t matter. Someone I have absolutely no interest in, who I can spend one fun night with and then move on from. I just need to regain control over the situation.”
“Mhmm. I just don’t see why Loki’s not an option here. Plug this in for me.” You squawked indignantly while she handed over her curling iron. “Worst case scenario, he’s only ok and you never have to talk about it again. Maybe he has a tail or something. Horns.” 
You tried to imagine her head exploding. Or stubbing her toe really hard. Tripping up the stairs. “It’s more complicated than that.”
Natasha hummed. She sorted through the belongings strewn across your bathroom counter mindlessly, straightening out your array of weapons leftover from when you stumbled home in the early morning. One of her manicured fingers traced the edge of an ornate gold knife. Earthbreaker . “Interesting choice for a telekinetic super spy. Abandoning quiet and calculated for something a bit more ostentatious, are we?”
“I’ve been meaning to return that.”
“Return what?” Wanda rounded the corner, a tote bag in one hand and a bottle of wine in another. “Cute dress.”
You smiled. “Thank you. What took you so long?”
“Oh,” Wanda sidled up next to Natasha and began pilfering through her makeup bag. “Nothing, really. I couldn’t decide between this dress or an old red one I found in the back of my closet. I came as fast as I could.”
“No, I mean, I heard the door-”
“She’s going to hook up with a stranger tonight,” Natasha interrupted.
“What? Shit-” Wanda dropped the kohl pencil she was using and licked her thumb, scrubbing at her eyelid. “Wait, why not Loki?”
“I never said I was certain,” you interjected.
“She’s worried he doesn’t feel the same way she does.”
Wanda pouted at her reflection, assessing the symmetry of her eyeliner. “Not to be dramatic but… does it matter? He’d say yes.”
“You don’t know that. Just this morning he turned down a barista when she gave him her phone number.”
“But with a little wine? A little dancing? He looks amazing, by the way, I passed him on my way here.” Wanda turned to face you, leaning her elbows on the counter. “He’ll say yes.”
“Speaking of wine, why don’t I-”
“Worst case scenario he’s only an okay lay. Loki will leap at the chance for a one-night stand. Why would you-”
“I don’t want to just fuck him, okay?” You cried. “I know he’d fuck me. But I want more. ”
You turned on your heel and fled to the kitchen. You had never gotten around to buying wine glasses - something Natasha loved to make fun of you for - so you pulled mugs down at random.
It was only your familiarity with Natasha that tipped you off to the fact that she’d joined you. You avoided her eyes while digging through your cutlery drawer for a corkscrew.
“Babe.” Natasha took you by the shoulders and tipped her head so you were eye level. “Hey. Tell me what the worst-case scenario is.”
You shrugged, a little pathetically. “I don’t know. He’s uncomfortable. Or- or he makes fun of me.”
“He already does that.”
“But not- not like this.” You scrubbed the heel of your palm over your eyes. “I really like him. And I don’t want to lose him as a friend.”
“I think you’re gonna lose him as a friend no matter what if this continues. And I think he likes you a lot more than you think. I- and you can never, ever repeat this - I think he’s a lot more empathetic than he lets on. Hell, his brother has tried to kill him multiple times and they live on the same floor.”
Her thumbs worked in small, soothing circles over your shoulders. You leaned forward to rest your forehead against her chest and sighed. “What if he says no?”
“Just ask him to dance tonight. If he says no then no harm, no foul.” She pushed you back by the shoulders and leveled you a look. “We’re master tacticians. We can seduce that stupid peacock. Now come on, come help me do Wanda’s hair. I curl, you pin.”
You took a deep breath in and held it. On the exhale, you pulled away. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
You gathered up your glasses. Wine bottle in hand, you started to formulate a plan. A strategy. Something Peter might call Operation Get Laid if he didn’t blush every time a kissing scene came on TV. 
You nodded. “Okay.”
-
part two!
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kostektyw · 1 year ago
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Detco movies rated based on how much shit gets exploded / destroyed
The Time-Bombed Skyscraper - the whole premise is about blowing up stuff, but it's shame no trains got got, 7/10
The Fourteenth Target - it's just an underwater restaurant that is pretty out of the way from anything else and we have no prior attachment to. bonus for the helicopter crash, 5/10
The Last Wizard of the Century - an entire castle does get burned down, but it's no explosion, 6/10
Captured in Her Eyes - just some regular old murder, 0/10
Countdown to Heaven - truly a 9/11 movie. point detracted for leaving the second tower intact, 8/10
The Phantom of Baker Street - the entire thing takes place in VR, so it shouldn't even count, but no one even gets their brain blown up :( 0/10
Crossroad in the Ancient Capital - somehow nothing gets bombed or destroyed? Conan tries a little arson but is unsuccessful, -1/10
Magician of the Silver Sky - a plane gets somewhat mistreated, 2/10
Strategy Above the Depths - a whole damn ship sinks, it's all very dramatic, 9/10
The Private Eyes' Requiem - despite the constant threat of exploding people, barely anything gets exploded. half a point for Kid using a gun on some windows, 1.5/10
Jolly Roger in the Deep Azure - i guess they do find that ancient pirate ship and it immediately falls apart, 5/10
Full Score of Fear - plenty of shit gets blown up including a concert hall while no one inside realizes anything's wrong. you'd think they'd have some fire warning system in place, 10/10
The Raven Chaser - sadly no explosions, but the tower gets shot at hard, and the helicopter does not end up fine, tho no actual crash on screen, 5/10
The Lost Ship in the Sky - only a research facility we don't care about gets exploded in the opening, and that airship barely gets scratched up, 4/10
Quarter of Silence - we have a train exploding out of a tunnel, a dam blown to smithereens, and an avalanche, what more could you want, 10/10
The Eleventh Striker - who can say no to some exploding stadiums, great movie for people who hate football, 8/10
Private Eye in the Distant Sea - just a rando ship at the beginning, who cares, 1/10
Dimensional Sniper - some police cars and incredibly light bombing of the tower, eh, 3/10
Sunflowers of Inferno - a cool museum gets absolutely demolished, the burning fake sunflowers are a lovely image, plus we got some proper plane mistreatment, 10/10
The Darkest Nightmare - both an explosive car crash at the beginning and a ferris wheel gets extremely destroyed, 9/10
The Crimson Love Letter - lots of explosions, and in beautiful scenery too, 10/10
Zero the Enforcer - destroying shit with a satellite is pretty imaginative, but there was not as much destruction as i hoped, 7/10
The Fist of Blue Sapphire - they're surfing on some iconic Singaporean landmarks, meanwhile an oil ship freely wrecks shit, 11/10
The Scarlet Bullet - i fully admit i have no idea what Masumi and Conan were trying to do, both the train and station ended up looking pretty rough. 10/10
The Bride of Halloween - for a movie about bombs not all that much significant shit gets destroyed, but they do go out in style at least. bonus points for covering Shibuya in goo, 9/10
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thisisallthehattersfault · 4 months ago
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The newspaper — the South Sea Gazette, apparently — is so old it practically crumbles under Ace’s fingers, the paper yellow and powdery with age, the edges disintegrating into nothing from however many years of being picked up and handled. The headline reads: Maniac Schoolteacher Slaughters Classroom. The photo on the front page shows a small schoolhouse, showing signs of wear and hodge-podge repair, like the town it belonged to couldn’t afford it’s upkeep but did their best anyway. The stairs leading up to the front door are bloody, and there’s more blood streaked across the windows from the inside. One small hand can be seen poking out the edge of the doorway, flopped limp across the floor. A group of Marines drag the “Maniac Schoolteacher” away from the scene of the crime in chains while he flails and struggles.
It… It’s Jiru. A very young Jiru, he can’t be any older than, god, maybe his early twenties? If that? He looks like he’s barely Ace’s age in this photo, and his face—
It’s not the face of a maniac who just went on a bloody rampage and murdered a bunch of kids. His hands and clothes are streaked with blood, but not nearly enough to account for the carnage implied behind him, and his face is wet with tears. The look in his eyes is one of such gut-wrenching despair that Ace has to tear his eyes away. The rest of the article is just — bullshit, Ace is sure, and the letters are dancing around and he doesn’t want to read it anyway so he doesn’t bother trying to make them quit goofing off and get back where they go. He just… stares blankly instead at where his hands are digging into the paper, crumbling it more under his grip.
“Ah,” Jiru says. “I should’ve put that away.”
Ace startles, whirls around. The fourteenth division Commander is leaning in the doorway, arms crossed and shoulders slumped, eyeing Ace with an unreadable expression.
“I’m sorry,” Ace says, scrambling to put the paper back where he found it. “I’m — sorry, I didn’t mean to snoop. I was coming to see you about watch rotations. Pops said you’re in charge of that?”
“That I am.” Jiru enters his room. Ace has to scramble out of his way when he walks to the desk, lifting the newspaper up delicately — not like he’s handling something precious, but like he’s handling something that disgusts him. Or, maybe, something that bites. Something that hurts to touch. “The transfers from the Moby 3 haven’t been added to the Watch Rotation yet, and won’t be until we know how long repairs will take. That’s not why you were taken off the night watch. You were taken off of the night watch for your narcolepsy, and Tate scares me, so you’re not going back on the night watch unless there’s an emergency.”
“But—”
“No buts. She will stab me with needles.”
That’s… probably true. Ace still scowls at the unfairness of it all. He focuses on that — on the absolute crime that is all these damn people caring about his health and his wellbeing and his safety — so that he doesn’t have to focus on the paper while Jiru carefully slides it into an empty drawer and then locks that drawer shut. The key gets hung up on a hook by his desk, where it’s immediately covered by the fabric of the cloak that’s also hanging there.
“… You can ask,” Jiru says, after a moment. “It’s not a secret.”
Ace startles again, tears his eyes away from the closed drawer. Jiru’s face is still unreadable, but he doesn’t look angry, really. Ace bites his lip.
“What… happened?”
Jiru snorts. “Not did you do it?”
Ace snarls, “You didn’t do it.”
Now Jiru smiles. It’s a really shitty, awful, sad little smile, and Ace kind of hates it. “No,” he confirms. “I didn’t do it.”
He walks to his bed. Takes a seat. Scrubs a hand over his face. “… You ever hear that rumor about Gold Roger having a kid?”
Ace goes very, very still.
Jiru must see his reaction, but he must misunderstand it, because his smile grows — not sad anymore, but bitter and hurting and furious. “Yeah. Wasn’t ever anything but a rumor, mind you. Stories and gossip. The Marines didn’t have any leads, didn’t have any proof. Didn’t have anything but ‘somewhere in the South Blue’ and ‘somewhere between the ages of eight years old and literally an unborn fetus’.”
Here he chokes a laugh, flicks his fez off to scrub a hand over his shaved head. Takes a slow, shaking breath, and then another one. “… It wasn’t my kids,” he says. “Every one of them had fathers known and accounted for. It wasn’t any of my kids. But, hey, what’s logic in the face of justice?”
From somewhere far away, Ace is aware of the sensation of his own tongue, clicking dry against the back of his throat. His own voice, echoing down a distant tunnel. “If — if one of them was Roger’s son?” He hears himself ask. “What would you have done?”
Jiru looks at him for a moment, considering. Scratches over his head again. “Aw, hell, Ace, I dunno,” he says finally. “I’d like to say I would have scooped the kid up and ran for it, but… back then…” That fucking smile, all bitterness and regret. Ace really does hate that smile.
“Back then,” Jiru says, “I just wasn’t fast enough.”
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weeesi · 8 months ago
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Eavesdropping - May Prompts (14)
“John Watson. We spoke last week about the—”
The rumble from a passing lorry eats the rest. Sherlock freezes on the fourteenth step with his carrier bag of Indonesian takeaway. He closes his eyes and quiets his breathing.
John is on his mobile. 
John has no idea Sherlock is three steps away from 221B’s closed door, eavesdropping. 
“And the engraving? Great,” John says. “Could I collect it tomorrow?”
A gift?
Muffled movement. Pacing. Oscillating between sofa and windows, not tense but hopeful, and barefoot from the sound of it. Interesting.
John clears his throat. “Any way we could expedite things? Before he deduces it. Deduces. You know, erm, figures it out.” 
A moment of silence. Sherlock’s stomach complains at the enticing scent of nasi goreng. He almost shushes himself. 
“He’s my…well, he’s everything. I’ve been wanting to propose—”
The unexpected word strikes him like lightning, full on, full stop. Sherlock’s pounding heartbeat thuds in his ears. He can’t hear anything except the sound of being loved out loud.
“—says yes,” John laughs. “Ten tomorrow, then. Cheers.”
Sherlock skips the last three steps and opens the door.
“Hiya,” John says as he moves close to offer a kiss. “Alright?”
Sherlock makes swift work of the distance between them and takes it. 
They can’t stop grinning, the both of them.
“Dinner?”
“Starving.” 
+
Thank you to @calaisreno for the fun prompt series! Tags in replies (let me know if you'd like a tag or want yours removed)! Thank you for reading! <3
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