#four fifths of the cast are women

[its-in-the-woods]

'Down the Rabbit Hole' Chapter 1

Chapter two chapter three Chapter four

Pairing: Walton Goggins x You

Rating: None for this chapter future ones will be adjusted.

Slow build like novel damn length okay, Very Fluffy, Pinch of Angst, Relationship Development, Hurt/Comfort, Older man/ Younger(30s) women, Alternative universe, fictional work (IDK WHY BUT I AM PUTTING IT) Probably more as I go.

Synopsis: Working in film as a make-up artist is hard enough, but then Walton Goggins requests you, well it's way too easy to fall down the rabbit hole.

Note: they are both single, all for fun.

WARNING I do not have this all written out, I do have it plotted out, but it may be a little slower for chapters to come out. Please bear with me. If you know a Beta to edit please send them to me.

Getting the phone call that you're working with Liz again is surprising. You had encountered Liz several times, mostly as a day call trying to get hundreds of extras through a small window of time. She was well-known in the industry as being a giant pain in the ass. Though you had gotten along somewhat well with her, you had never quite felt like the women would have picked you as a second.

Sitting down in the production office you start to fill in paperwork. There is always so much paperwork. Thankfully this would have you working for the next four months. Four months of not having to fill out forms or wonder when your next job would come. Granted you had made a favorable impression with several other heads of department. But if everyone was honest the biz was saturated with less skilled artists who would bend over backward, or forwards, just to get a day in. You flick over the paperwork refilling the same information for the fifth time. 

“Hey, can I talk to you for a second,” It's Liz, done up to the nines as always. Touches of grey hair starting to show against the dirty blonde. She wears all black with a horrid mix of silver and gold jewelry. 

You follow the woman back, completely prepared for her to tell you that you will not be seconded to her. That you'd be moved to 2nd unit or something much more fitting for someone with just “five years of experience”. 

Walking into the little office you place the paperwork on your lap as you sit across from her. The walls have headshots of cast along with information underneath.  You don't pay attention, if you're working a different unit chances are you'd never see them anyway.

“Nice to see you again,” Liz says, you get a feeling that she was putting on a bit of a show. She’s put on a weird smile that doesn’t meet her eyes, not that you could tell she won’t look at you. 

“Likewise, hope you've been doing well,” You reply, you can't stomach being a kiss ass.

Liz makes a humming noise as she flips through the large binder. One of the the few things you both agreed on, is hard copy beat digital work. 

“At the moment you're not going to be seconding with me, you've been requested by the lead.” She gestures over to the wall.

You look over and see Walton Goggins’ face staring back at you. You chew at your lip, you've worked with him twice. Mostly while doing smaller rolls, he had always been easy to work with and hilarious.  

“Ah, I see.” You reply, trying not to act a little flustered. You'd never had an actor request you, it was probably one of the biggest compliments you could get.

“You and Trevor will be working together with Mr. Goggins. I've taken you've read the script?” Liz looked at you through heavy mascara eyelashes. You nodded at the question. “Good. It's pretty straightforward, anything with large amounts of blood will be dealt with by the FX crew. You're basically babysitting and making sure he doesn't wander off covered in gore.”

You can't suppress the laugh at the comment. You could picture the man getting driven away looking like he had murdered a small town. The Teamster would have a fit about cleaning that.

“Sounds good, I am guessing I can increase my pay and kit rental?” You push, requested or not you knew your kit was far better stocked than most. Whether Liz agrees or not would be a moot point.  You could always approach production for a pay raise. Running it through Liz first just kept accounting from jumping down your throat.

Liz stares at you for a moment, her mouth a thin line. For a second you think she may try to argue the wage. Instead, she flicks her eyes back down to her binder.

“Yes, Production has already approved a pay raise for both. As well as sending in a small request for certain products he’d like.” Liz passes you the paper without looking up. On the top is your wage and kit fee, along with product allowance. It's much more than you anticipate, but you keep that to yourself.  

“You can drop your stuff off at the trailer and then go grab what you need. Start things off slow.” 

***

Paperwork done and handed in, you grab timesheets, start packs and, any other office stuff you think the trailer may need. Driving down the narrow alley you park your little Honda Accord beside the make-up trailer. You unload several bins beside the steps before parking. Inside the trailer is pretty sparse. You set out to fill your drawers, stocking the place with all the necessities. Trevor shows up as you're starting to finish up. 

“Heyyyy,” He chirps, coming in with his own kit. The man is tall, slim, with a wicked smile, green eyes, and a riot of brown curly hair. He is a major flirt who loves to chat about anything and everything.

“Hey, Trevor. How have you been?” You give him a hug. The two of you had both started out at the same time and he was as close to a friend as you had in the industry.  

“Oh yah know, just living the dream!” He rolls his eyes, waving his hands in the air.

“Nice we get some space to spread out. Feels homey” You smile as you place paperwork into holders. 

The trailer was a newer model, with four stations, four chairs, mirrors, lights, and shelving. There was also a sink and hair sink. It was nice to have your own space. Often times you were allotted a small tent and much else. But here you had access to everything and it was warm against the never-ending rain. 

“Not to mention getting requested.” Trevor wiggles his eyebrows. “Like I didn't think that would ever happen.”

You both chuckle at the situation. You finish up and make sure all your bits and pieces are laid out. You’d print any notes for tomorrow and get them into binders. Also, need to make sure you are connected with everyone’s clouds. Digital wasn’t your niche but it was necessary. 

“Do you want me to grab anything for you? I am hitting up the usual haunts for goodies.” You ask, grabbing your purse. Downtown would be a nut house but having all the requested products was important. 

Trevor pauses the comb on his chin. “How about I text you the list I need? I think I need like four things?”

“Yep, that sounds good. I will see you tomorrow for camera tests”

***

You do three days of camera testing and running over lighting making sure everyone looks their best. It’s always a flurry, trying to find an easy groove that you all could work with. Liz took the first chair, Katie took the second chair, you were in third, and fourth was slated for fx. It was tight once everyone was in there and warm, but it worked and that’s really all you could ask for. 

Now near the end of the week came the first shoot day. Liz barely makes eye contact with you besides a ‘Good Morning’. You didn’t care, you knew what you needed to do, a detailed email had been sent out last night. Besides Walton, you had three other actors to take care of. Not surprisingly they were all male, Liz’s actual second was Katie. A petite woman with pin-straight blonde hair, a heart-shaped face, and a big personality. She loved doing anything cute and fun. So you got stuck with the rough end of things, but if you were honest that was your wheelhouse. Bruises, cut lips, red-rimmed eyes, bloody noses, looking a bit more disheveled and run down. Yep, all things you could do quickly and efficiently. Hopefully, the AD wouldn’t be too pushy. The first two men are easy enough, you and Trevor fall into a rhythm. Blasting some 80s music as you both drink Red Bulls and dance away. Katie joins in the fun as you all pretend to sing karaoke

The third man doesn’t show, which is annoying as hair in cream blush. You radio the AD who already sounds annoyed. He tells you he will bring Walton over ASAP to you. You let out a sigh and rub your face. You crack open another redbull and take a deep sip. The trailer ran on redbull, which was the preferable alternative. 

“Stepping up!” Yells a familiar voice. Walton comes in with a flurry, coffee in hand, sunglasses pushed up. He wiggles his way through everyone with polite hellos and hugs. He comes over and squeezes you into a tight embrace. You hug back your cheeks going a little pink. The man is striking both in looks and presence, his aura is calm and confident. His hair was jet black with silver sideburns, deep-set hazel eyes, and an infectious smile.

“Oh, it is so good to be back filming. Finally!” He flops himself into your chair crossing his long legs. He is already in costume well fitting jeans and a green button-up. 

“Nice to see you again.” You smile and get to work, “How’s the day treating you so far?”

“It’s been lovely, though I do miss the sunshine. Does it ever stop raining here?.” He chatters on. 

You finish skincare and get down to covering minor blemishes and making sure his eyebrows aren’t too wild. Trevor chitters back with the man as he sorts his hair into something a little neater than the fluff it was before. 

“There you are looking fantastic as always,” You croon and step away from the mirror. The man makes a shocked sound and inspects his face.

“Darlin’ you always make me look as pretty as a painting,” Walton giggles in a higher feminine voice, looking himself over in the mirror. 

“Oh hush,” You giggle back, “get your tight butt to set.” You shooed him out the door, he wiggled his butt and gave you a kiss on the cheek before swishing out the door. 

“That man is hilarious, it’s going to be a fun show,” Trevor stated with a chuckle as he prepared his set bag. “Do you think number three will show?”

You let out a sigh,” Probably not at this point, the AD is going to murder us if we don’t get to set now.”

***

Number three was standing on set, you felt anger roll over your shoulder. He was of average height with a face that looked as if he had a permanent scowl. At least you had brought an extra set bag. You grab the man’s arm firmly, hauling him away to stand under a set light. Trevor immediately trailed after you. He huffs and stands mostly still. You can smell weed on him, and judging by his red eyes he was stoned out of his mind. You hand him eyedrops, and the man sneers at you but puts them in. Letting some of the liquid spills on his face, you sigh.

“Look, nerves are normal.” You mutter more to yourself than anyone. “But coming here stoned and avoiding makeup and hair is not going to win you any brownie points.”

“I don’t need a lecture from you,” The man bites out, walking away as you tuck your brush back into your bag. You grumble and move over to your chair, you make eye contact with one of the AD’s who scoots over to you. 

“I apologize about Arnold not coming to your trailer, I didn’t realize he was here.” The man lets out his own sigh, “It won’t happen again.”

“He doesn’t like us at all. Going to make things a little tricky.” You reply trying not to call him a complete ass about him. 

AD nods his head, “I know. It will be dealt with.”

You walk over to the video village peering at the screens as you say hello to familiar faces. Everyone looked good, even Arnold, at least his eyes weren’t completely bloodshot. You take a particular look at Walton who seems to be letting himself get into character. Something flits in your heart as he looks up at the camera from under his brow. 

***

The day ends and you cycle through secondary actors, Arnold all but running out the door once he is done. You can’t help but glare at the man, the least he could do was say thank you for cleaning his dirty mug. 

You flop down in the chair as the rest of your coworkers clean their things. The buzz of your coworkers is somehow relaxing, you take a sip of cold coffee and clean your brushes. Another knock and you turn to see Walton walking in, he has run his hands through his hair so that it stands straight up.

You let out a chuckle, “Did you stick a fork in a socket.” Getting up to let the leading man sit in the chair. 

“Oh, this?” He says pointing at his head, “I thought it was supposed to look like this.”

The room erupts in laughter as he makes his eyes cross and sticks his tongue out pretending to be electrocuted. Shaking your head you get to work, skincare was just as important as the actual makeup. You were ever grateful the man thoroughly enjoyed being pampered and preened by everyone. Made your job so much easier. 

*I am definitely nervous about posting this. But I hope it's fun and cute. It's going to be a slow build and a lot of back and forth. But I promise it will be fun cute and a little moody. Just a pinch of angst cause why not. *

Chapter two

[azeemarahman]

It is the first night of Ramadan. Ali makes the same journey that he has for the past 22 years. He walks down the same streets, once filled with the night sounds of children laughing and women chatting, the scent of coffee wafting from cafes that stay open for suhoor, the sight of streetlights and dainty lamps and scattered stars, the feeling of moving along with the hustle and bustle of men rushing towards the call of the adhan. The same streets are now eerily silent, whispers of du’a barely audible, no sound of women or children, not enough men to form a crowd, no electricity to fuel the lights, the cafes and buildings crumbled to rubble and dust, the graveyard of a city that once came to life at night.

Ali prays Tarawih on the ruins of the mosque he grew up in.

It is the fifth night of Ramadan. Ali thinks back to the time he first entered this mosque. At four years old, he walked through the doors, his excitement contained within four stone walls. Rays of sun bounced off of tall windows, casting light onto Ali, running around in circles as his father prayed Asr. Ali remembers climbing onto his father’s back as he went down into sujood; he remembers his father putting his head down slower the second time; he remembers standing in front of his father, poking his head and waiting for him to finish; he remembers his father smiling at him and taking Ali into his arms as he completed his du’a; he remembers his father blowing the barakah of his du’as into his hands and blanketing Ali in that same barakah. He remembers his laughter as he did the same back to his father. He remembers the laughter of the other children ringing through the mosque’s four walls.

There are no longer walls to contain the sound, no longer children with any laughter.

It is the 12th night of Ramadan. Ali remembers being 15, in a circle of his friends as they learned the Qur’an. He remembers the giggles and whispers that passed when the teacher’s head was down. He remembers his cheeks flushing as the teacher caught him talking to his friends. He remembers every mistake he made when he first recited Surah Mulk by memory. He remembers his teacher’s sigh when he gave the same lecture for the hundredth time that day. He remembers seeing his teacher smile for the first time when he recited the Surah with no mistakes.

Ali attended the Janazah prayer of his teacher in this very mosque only three Ramadan’s ago.

It is the 14th night of Ramadan. Ali remembers being only 21 when he had his Nikkah. He remembers his cousin sisters decorating the entrance of the mosque. He remembers his mother cooking enough to feed an entire masjid full of worshippers. He remembers his father sitting him down and lecturing him on the responsibilities to come. He remembers the laugh that came after as he told him the blessings that were to follow. Ali remembers the smile that broke as his father told him how proud he was of him. He remembers his father blowing the breath of his du’as on him once more, just like the day he first entered the mosque. He remembers Fatima entering the mosque and thinking they were destined for one another, right down to their names. He remembers lifting her veil the moment they were officially wedded. He remembers their first hug, shy and small and sweet; he remembers wrapping his thobe around her; he remembers the first Salah he led her in and taking her by the hand to lead her out of the mosque, together this time.

Fatima hasn’t entered the mosque since she witnessed her sister being shot on the musallah that their mum gifted her.

It is the 17th night of Ramadan. Ali remembers being 23, rushing into the mosque with a smile just before Isha, exclaiming how Fatima had blessed him with a daughter. He remembers that despite the ongoing attacks, the hugs and smiles and tears and du’as were abundant among the brothers he prayed beside. He remembers looking forward to the day he could bring his daughter into the mosque and she could climb on his back the same way Ali used to climb on his father’s.

Ali’s daughter went missing from the mosque only two nights ago.

It is the 20th night of Ramadan. Ali remembers being 24 and opening his fast with his brother-in-law beside him. He remembers not having much for iftar, but at least having enough dates and bread to feed all of the worshippers that day.

The worshippers lessen as the genocide continues, and yet there is not enough bread to go around.

It is the 27th night of Ramadan. Ali remembers being 25, watching and being part of all the brothers immersed in their prayers and du’as during what may have been Laylatul Qadr. He remembers brothers praying for safe returns, for the healing of loved ones, for the protection of their Lord.

Ali was reluctant to lift his head from the rubble as he prayed for his daughter to come home.

It is Eid day. Ali enters the mosque to pray Eid Salah. He remembers how Ramadan always passes in the blink of an eye. He contemplates the first Ramadan he spent praying on the ruins of his local mosque instead of within its four walls. He ruminates over how the worshippers lessened and lessened from that first night of Tarawih. He remembers attending the Janazah of the ones who were at least blessed enough to be found. He dreads how this Eid prayer will be followed by Janazah prayer, after Janazah prayer, after Janazah prayer.

Ali begs Allah that none of those prayers are reserved for his daughter.

-azeemarahman

*please note this story is fiction.

[Translations:

Ramadan - the month when Muslims fast from the time of the dawn prayer to sunset.

Suhoor - the pre-dawn meal.

Adhan - the call to prayer.

Dư'a - supplication.

Tarawih - Sunnah prayer performed in Ramadan.

Asr - afternoon prayer.

Sujood - an action during prayer whereby the forehead is lowered to the ground.

Barakah - blessings.

Quran - the Holy Book of Islam.

Surah Mulk - 67th chapter of the Qur'an, meaning 'The Sovereignty'.

Surah - a chapter of the Qur'an.

Janazah - funeral.

Nikkah - Islamic marriage ceremony.

Masjid - mosque.

Thobe - traditional garment.

Salah - prayer.

Musallah - prayer mat.

Isha - night prayer.

Iftar - the meal in which Muslims open their fast.

Laylatul Qadr - the Night of Power.

Eid (ul-Fitr) - celebration at the end of Ramadan.]

[orpheusdrinkinga40inadeathbasket]

The Beatles invigorated the role of the fan because they were the first cultural product to engage holistically with the figure of the teenage girl. They emerged onto ground broken by Elvis and then outpaced their predecessor creatively and commercially. Elvis supplied an avatar for the forbidden promise of sex, but his appeal rested in how easy he was to objectify, his obviousness. Cartoonishly handsome, he was a body onto which the teenage girl could project unspoken and illicit desire. He inspired adoration, but it could not compare to the ferocious awe frothed up among Beatles girls. There is no Elvis equivalent to the term "Beatlemaniac." "To younger teenagers, the Beatles' cheerful, faintly androgynous sexuality was more approachable than Elvis's alpha-male heat," wrote Lynskey. The Beatles offered something more complex than an empty sexual template. They presented an opportunity for identification. A girl could invest her desire in the band, but she could also discover herself there. The gaze cast on the Beatles was a queer one from the start. Before American women looked at the Beatles, they had been seen by Brian Epstein, the closeted gay record clerk who discovered and ferociously advocated for the band when record executives failed to give them a second glance. Watching them play a lunch hour show at a grimy club in Liverpool, Epstein picked up on the magnetic potential of the four young men. In Vivek Tiwary's graphic novel The Fifth Beatle: The Brian Epstein Story, artist Andrew Robinson closes the frame around the future manager's stunned face as he beholds the Beatles for the first time, as if he could sense his life pivoting around that one rapturous moment. "There was some indefinable charm there," he wrote in his 1964 memoir A Cellarful of Noise. "They were extremely amusing and in a rough 'take it or leave [it] way' very attractive." Upon becoming their manager, Epstein was tasked with convincing the world to see the Beatles the way he saw them: via a gaze that desired its objects without othering them. Heterosexual desire spans a chasm, coveting difference. Queer desire pulls together like elements, finding attraction in affinity. That teen girls could even feel the kind of active, demanding sexual desire evinced by their screams was still a novel concept in the early '60s, which carried vestiges of the prior decade's postwar conservatism. "In a highly sexualized society (one sociologist found that the number of explicitly sexual references in the mass media had doubled between 1950 and 1960), teen and preteen girls were expected to be not only 'good' and 'pure' but to be the enforcers of purity within their teen society—drawing the line for overeager boys and ostracizing girls who failed in this responsibility," wrote Barbara Ehrenreich in a 1986 essay. "To abandon control—to scream, faint, dash about in mobs—was, in form if not in conscious intent, to protest the sexual repressiveness, the rigid double standard of female teen culture. It was the first and most dramatic uprising of women's sexual revolution." Befuddled by the Beatlemaniacs' exuberance, interviewers and critics (who were more often than not men) pinned the scream to a desire, of all things, to mother the band. "It has been said that you appeal to the maternal instinct in these girls," began an interviewer in 1964. John cut him off: "That's a dirty lie." Joking or not, he was right. The dynamic at hand did not correspond to a mother/son model. Beatles girls wanted the way men were expected to want: unabashedly and directly, as active agents in the exchange of desire. There was nothing coy about their hunger.

Sasha Geffen, Glitter Up the Dark: How Pop Music Broke the Binary

[aliveandfullofjoy]

95th Academy Awards: Oscars Trivia!

Another torturously long awards season is over! A24's highest-grossing film ever, Everything Everywhere All at Once, defied almost every piece of popular wisdom about the Academy Awards and easily cleared every hurdle in its path to a blowout, historic Best Picture win.

As you probably know, I'm a sucker for Oscar trivia, and this year has plenty of juicy nuggets to dig into. Let's get to it, starting with our newest Best Picture winner.

Everything Everywhere All at Once is the third film in Oscar history to win three of the four acting categories, after A Streetcar Named Desire (1951) and Network (1976). All three films won Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress. Everything Everywhere All at Once is the only film of the three that managed to win Best Picture.

Michelle Yeoh is the first Malaysian actress, first Asian actress, and second woman of color to win Best Actress. This is only the thirteenth time that Best Actress and Best Picture have overlapped in the 95-year history of the Oscars. Yeoh's nomination made her the first Asian actress nominated for the award since 1935. The only other is Merle Oberon, who hid her Asian identity in life and passed as white.

Everything Everywhere All at Once is the first science-fiction film to win Best Picture.

Everything Everywhere All at Once is the first Best Picture winner with a woman of color (Michelle Yeoh) in the lead role.

Having opened in theaters in late March 2022 (the same weekend of the 94th Academy Awards), Everything Everywhere All at Once is the Best Picture winner with the earliest calendar release since The Silence of the Lambs, which opened Valentine's Day 1991.

Everything Everywhere All at Once is the third Best Picture winner with a majority non-white cast (after 2016's Moonlight and 2019's Parasite) and the first American film with a majority Asian cast.

Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert (Everything Everywhere All at Once) are the third directing team to win Best Director, joining Jerome Robbins and Robert Wise (West Side Story, 1961) and Joel Coen and Ethan Coen (No Country for Old Men, 2007). Kwan is also the fourth Asian director (and first Asian-American) to win Best Director.

Everything Everywhere All at Once is the first movie in 95 years of Oscars history to win six(!) so-called "above the line" awards -- referring to Best Picture, Director, the four acting categories, and the two writing categories.

Everything Everywhere All at Once is the first film to sweep the four primary guild awards (Producers Guild, Directors Guild, Writers Guild, and Screen Actors Guild) since Argo (2012), and only the fifth overall.

Some crazy coincidences between Michelle Yeoh and her Best Actress presenter Halle Berry: in addition to currently being the only two women of color to win Best Actress, they are also both former Bond girls (Yeoh in Tomorrow Never Dies [1997], Berry in Die Another Day [2002], both with Pierce Brosnan). Additionally, both women are former contestants of the Miss World pageant: Berry represented the United States in 1986, while Yeoh represented Malaysia in 1983. Also, in a weird case of history rhyming, both Berry and Yeoh won over a previous Oscar-winner in a film directed by Todd Field (Sissy Spacek in In the Bedroom in 2001, Cate Blanchett in TÁR in 2022).

With four wins, All Quiet on the Western Front tied with Parasite (2019), Roma (2018), Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000), and Fanny and Alexander (1982) as the most-rewarded non-English language films in Oscars history.

This is also the second time that Cate Blanchett has won a Golden Globe, a BAFTA, and a Critics Choice Award for a performance, only to lose the Oscar to the lead of the Best Picture winner. The other time this happened was the year another comedy won seven Oscars: Shakespeare in Love. Blanchett, who was nominated for Elizabeth that year, lost to Gwyneth Paltrow.

TÁR brought Blanchett her eighth Oscar nomination, tying her as the fourth most-nominated actress in Oscar history. Only Bette Davis (10), Katharine Hepburn (12), and Meryl Streep (21) are ahead of her.

TÁR is only director Todd Field's third feature (after 2001's In the Bedroom and 2006's Little Children), but all three of his films have gotten Best Actress nominations for their leads.

Blanchett has also extended her record as the Oscar-nominated actress with the most appearances in films nominated for Best Picture. With TÁR, she has now appeared in 10 Best Picture nominees.

Tom Hanks (who turned in one of the weirdest performances ever caught on film in Elvis) also crossed the 10 Best Picture appearance threshold with this year's nominations. The only nominated actor with more Best Picture appearances is Jack Nicholson, who's been in 11.

This year's nominations saw a record-breaking number of Asian actors nominated: Yeoh in Best Actress, Ke Huy Quan (Everything Everywhere All at Once) in Best Supporting Actor, and Hong Chau (The Whale) and Stephanie Hsu (Everything Everywhere All at Once) in Best Supporting Actress. Yeoh and Quan won, marking the first time multiple Asian actors have won in a single ceremony.

Hong Chau (The Whale) is the first Oscar-nominated actor to be born in a refugee camp.

This year also saw a record number of Irish actors nominated in a single year, with five: Colin Farrell (The Banshees of Inisherin) and Paul Mescal (Aftersun) in Best Actor, Brendan Gleeson and Barry Keoghan (both from The Banshees of Inisherin) in Best Supporting Actor, and Kerry Condon (again, The Banshees of Inisherin) in Best Supporting Actress.

It was a banner year for Ireland in other categories, too, with nominations in Best Live Action Short (An Irish Goodbye, which won the award) and in Best International Feature (The Quiet Girl, the first Irish-language film ever nominated for an Oscar).

With his win in the Supporting Actor category, Quan became only the second Asian actor to win that award, joining the late Haing S. Ngor, who won for his debut performance in The Killing Fields (1984).

All five of the nominees for Best Actor -- Austin Butler (Elvis), Colin Farrell (The Banshees of Inisherin), Brendan Fraser (The Whale), Paul Mescal (Aftersun), and Bill Nighy (Living) -- were first-time nominees. This is the first time this has happened in this category since 1934(!!!).

It was a huge year for first-time nominees across all four acting categories: 16(!) of the 20 actors nominated were first-timers. This is the most ever in a single year. The only actors with previous nominations were Cate Blanchett, Angela Bassett, Judd Hirsch, and Michelle Williams.

Jamie Lee Curtis (Everything Everywhere All at Once) is the third person to be nominated for an Oscar after both of her parents were nominated as well: her father Tony Curtis was nominated for The Defiant Ones (1958), while her mother Janet Leigh was nominated for Psycho (1960). The other sets of nominated parents and children are Liza Minnelli (with parents Judy Garland and Vincente Minnelli) and Laura Dern (with parents Diane Ladd and Bruce Dern). Minnelli, Dern, and Curtis all won acting Oscars.

With his performance in The Whale, Brendan Fraser became the first person to win Best Actor for a film not nominated for Best Picture since Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart (2009).

This is also the first time since 2005 that all four acting winners were first-time nominees. Additionally, none of the four acting winners won in their category at the BAFTAs, which has never happened before.

With his Best Supporting Actor nomination, Judd Hirsch (The Fabelmans) broke the record for the longest gap between acting nominations: he was last nominated 42 years ago for Ordinary People (1980). The record previously belonged to Henry Fonda, who had a 41-year gap between nods.

In addition to being the first actor ever nominated for a performance in a Marvel movie, Angela Bassett (Black Panther: Wakanda Forever) also became the fourth Black actress to be nominated more than once. She joined Viola Davis, Whoopi Goldberg, and Octavia Spencer.

The Fabelmans is the first movie to win the Golden Globe for Best Picture - Drama to go home emptyhanded at the Oscars since The Turning Point (1977[!]). In fact, this is the first time ever that both Golden Globe Best Picture winners (The Fabelmans in Drama, The Banshees of Inisherin in Comedy) went home with zero Oscars.

2022 had some other similarities with 1977, too: this was the first year since 1977 that two films (Everything Everywhere All at Once and The Banshees of Inisherin in 2022, Julia and The Turning Point in 1977) got four individual acting nominations. Both years saw comedies win Best Picture and Best Actress (Annie Hall in 1977), and both years had a sci-fi blockbuster nominated in Best Picture (Star Wars and Avatar: The Way of Water).

Ana de Armas (Blonde) became the second actor nominated for playing Marilyn Monroe, which is more Oscars than Monroe herself was ever nominated for. She was nominated in Best Actress alongside Michelle Williams (The Fabelmans), the other actress nominated for playing the star (in 2011's My Week with Marilyn).

De Armas also became the fifth Latina nominated for Best Actress, joining Fernanda Montenegro, Salma Hayek, Catalina Sandino Moreno, and Yalitza Aparicio. She is also the second Cuban actor ever nominated, after Andy Garcia.

With her win for Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, legendary costume designer Ruth Carter became the first Black woman to win two Oscars — ever.

Only Austin Butler and Ana de Armas were nominated for playing historical figures this year. Weirdly, both Elvis and Blonde feature actor Xavier Samuel in small roles. What does it mean?

At 34 minutes long, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse is the longest Best Animated Short winner ever.

In addition to being the first song from an Indian film to be nominated for and win the Oscar for Best Song, "Naatu Naatu" (RRR) is the fourth non-English language winner of that award, after "Never on Sunday" (1960, originally performed in Greek), "Al otro lado del río" (2004, in Spanish), and "Jai Ho" (2008, in Hindi, Urdu, and Punjabi). "Naatu Naatu" is in Telugu.

It was the year of the sequel: between Avatar: The Way of Water and Top Gun: Maverick, this marked the first time multiple sequels were nominated in Best Picture in the same year. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever and Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery also received major nominations.

Avatar and Top Gun also marked the first time since 1982 that the two highest-grossing films of the year were both nominated for Best Picture.

[the-lincyclopedia]

Reading tag game! Tagged by @newtsoftheworldunite (thanks for the tag, love). Tagging @jonsaremembers, @polestarneighbor, @cricketnationrise, and anyone else who wants to play!

Last book I read: A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall. I loved it SO much. It's about a trans woman who is presumed dead in the Napoleonic Wars and takes the opportunity to start living as herself, and now she's meeting her childhood best friend for the first time since they got separated in battle two years ago. He doesn't know she's transitioned, and he's wracked by guilt about her supposed death. The queer rep and disability rep really resonated with me, and Alexis Hall's romances have a tendency to be exactly what I want.

Book I recommend: The Queen's Thief series by Megan Whalen Turner. Truly the series of all time. The layers! I have so much trouble explaining to people what it's about, but here goes: it's classified as YA fantasy, but it's pushing the bounds of both YA and fantasy. The main character starts out as a teenager but is very much an adult for most of the series. It's secondary world, but the fantasy elements come in the form of interventions from the gods, not spell-casting. Anyway, some of the books have quest vibes while others are more about court politics and intrigue, but what I love most is how much the characters come to love each other, and also how many well-set-up twists there are.

Book I couldn't put down: I Kissed Shara Wheeler by Casey McQuiston! I got super burnt out on reading by overworking myself in school, and it took like four years to get back to the point where I could read for more than about 20 pages at once, and the book that finally broke through for me was I Kissed Shara Wheeler. It's a delightfully queer YA romance with an extremely well-developed ensemble cast, and it earns its ending in a way I really hadn't expected. Plus, this is probably the smartest, most hardworking cast of high schoolers I've seen in a YA book, and that made me feel very seen.

Book I've read twice: I'm gonna say King of Shadows by Susan Cooper, which I've actually read more like seven or eight times. It's about a child actor in 1999 who's acting at the reconstructed Globe Theatre in London and gets yanked back in time 400 years to act with Shakespeare at the original Globe in 1599. It was my introduction to Shakespeare when I read it for the first time at age 12, and I read A Midsummer Night's Dream by myself because of it. The book has a lot to say about parental-type relationships between adults and kids, as well as about grief and healing. I love it a lot.

A book on my TBR: When Women Ruled the World by Kara Cooney. It's about the female pharoahs of ancient Egypt, and I got it when an ancient Egypt exhibit came to my local art museum several years ago, and I still haven't read it. The topic is particularly interesting to me because I played one of those female pharoahs, Hatshepsut, in a play my best friend wrote in sixth grade. I'm hoping to read it in the next few weeks.

A book I have put down: Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake by Alexis Hall. As I mentioned, Alexis Hall's romances often really hook me! But this one started with Rosaline lying about basically her entire life to one of the love interests, and it was heading toward a love triangle, so I DNFed about 30 pages in. I was really glad I got it from the library and didn't buy it.

A book on my wish list: I'm honestly trying to get rid of some books because I'm about to move! I wasn't a big book buyer until a couple years ago, anyway, and I'm not sure I like that I've become more likely to buy books recently. I want to get back into a library habit.

A favourite book from childhood: I loved the Dear America series in late elementary/early middle school and read basically nothing else for my entire fifth grade year. I honestly still think about those books almost every day, and there are lines I can still quote from memory. My favorite is probably Where Have All the Flowers Gone? The Diary of Molly MacKenzie Flaherty, Boston, Massachusetts, 1968. It's about a teenage girl whose brother is serving in Vietnam, and it has a companion book in the My Name Is America series (the series with boys' fictional diaries) from her brother's perspective.

A book I would give a friend: The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett. Pratchett is popular for a reason, and I loved starting my Discworld adventures with the Tiffany Aching series. Tiffany is only nine years old in the first book, and she is so much like I remember being at that age, angry and underestimated and clever and determined. I love watching her grow up, but I love where she starts, too.

A book of poetry or lyrics I own: I own very little poetry, and I don't really read it, but I do own a collection of Shakespeare's sonnets that my partner gave me, which is good because I'm trying to write more sonnets about my partner than Shakespeare wrote, total.

A non-fiction book I own: Lingo by Gaston Dorren. It's a collection of essays about 60 European languages, one essay per language. I used to fancy myself a linguist, and I had a great time learning about a whole bunch of languages in bite-sized chunks from this book.

Currently reading: The Murder of Mr. Wickham by Claudia Gray. I'm a sucker for classic lit spinoffs, and so far I'm enjoying the way the author is basically rolling around in Austen's work in sheer giddiness.

Planning on reading next: Probably When Women Ruled the World, mentioned above, but after that, maybe The Daughter of Sherlock Holmes by Leonard Goldberg. As I said: classic lit spinoffs.

[saucy-sassy-sparkly]

Moments: Four

Author's Note: Darlings, here she is: part four. Part five is mostly drafted so we’re not finished yet ;)

Pairing: Chris (buzzcut era) Evans x reader

Word Count 6.7k

italics are flashbacks (except the beginning rambling), and bold are text.

Moments Masterlist

Four: 2012, Prague

The older we get, the more we come to appreciate the little things…

The stolen hour in your schedule for coffee and catching up with a friend.

The relief of warm socks, fresh out of the dryer, on a cold winter evening.

The taste of your mom’s chicken noodle soup when you feel like shit.

The warmth of a hug from your grandfather.

The smile a memory can give you, even when the moments around it hurt.

Those are the things that matter; creating a life made up of moments that fill your soul.

“Go again,” Chris rolled his shoulders and took a deep breath while he waited for everyone to reset. It was the third time they’d rehearsed this scene today and the stunt coordinators still weren’t happy. His back was covered in sweat and he was panting while he quietly embraced the few moments to catch his breath. He waited for the go signal, watching his castmates take directions and nod, feeling grateful that no one was approaching him. On the signal, he artfully twirled his fake ax and then charged at the oncoming foes, batting several out of the way quickly in a perfectly choreographed fight.

He ducked, struck, rolled, and attacked for several minutes, working his way from one end of the faux tunnel to another. When he did this on set, it would be darker and he’d have on far more- his T-shirt allowed him to move easily now but he knew he’d have to accommodate the bulk of the winter clothes his character- Curtis- would be in. Right now, in the lights of the rehearsal space, he could focus on each move he had to make and reciprocate appropriately. Chris was often grateful that fight scenes hardly had dialogue for good reason– he was out of breath by the time each sequence was done.

By the fifth time they reset and ran the sequence, the stunt coordinators were finally happy, which made Chris and his cast mates happy: that meant the end of the day. They’d been rehearsing all of the various technical sequences all day— all week in fact— and Chris was sore and tired. A hot shower, cold beer, and a cheeseburger from room service were calling his name. He could indulge tonight before a long-awaited day off from rehearsals. He’d been here a month and it was only the third full day off; he was hoping he finally had the energy to do a little sightseeing.

Y/N’s hand was cramping from the frantic notes she scribbled in her notebook. The speaker clicked through his slides at a ridiculously fast pace while she tried to make notes on best practices and new research to take back to her practice in DC. Because she was unmarried and childfree, she and two of her older colleagues– the one and only man, Keith, in their practice with college-aged children who she’d hardly spoken to, and a woman, Rachel, in her 50s who’d never married– had been voluntold that they would attend the annual International Psychology Conference in Prague. The other four women in her practice had young children and it was “hard to get away”.

So, Y/N had decided to take it as an adventure. She’d taken an additional week off of work to get to tour Prague. She’d flown out with Keith and Rachel on Monday evening and arrived in time to drop their bags at the hotel and attend the first series of lectures. On the flight, they’d spent the first 90 minutes going through the conference brochure and deciding which items would best suit their practice and who would attend each. The rest of the flight, while Keith napped, had been used for Rachel to explain to Y/N all the ways the other women in the practice were rich, selfish bitches that just wanted to make other people do things they didn’t want to.

Y/N was still new to the practice– new to the career in general. She’d been hired nine months ago after finishing her graduate degree and interviewing with several practices in the DC area. She’d fallen in love with this practice that was the #1 recommended practice for women and children experiencing abuse or homelessness in the DC area; when they’d offered her the job, she was over the moon. Her clients ranged from children to teens, from play therapy to talk therapy, and filled her heart knowing she spent her days helping others.

When she’d shared this with Rachel, Rachel had sighed, rolled her eyes, taken a huge gulp of her vodka tonic, and said, “You’re so sweet and inexperienced.”

The more time she spent with Rachel, the more she thought that maybe Rachel was the bitch…

“You should’ve brought a laptop,” the woman next to her whispered when Y/N dropped her pen to flex her hand a few times. She offered a half-hearted smile in return before beginning a flurry of more notes. By the time the speaker was finished, she’d covered the front and back of half a spiral notebook. It was filled with her scribbles from the whole week: each speaker, their background, their contact information, their research, their insight… She'd take it back to her hotel room and transcribe it neatly into a second spiral notebook that she would keep on her well-organized office shelf with all the other meticulously kept notebooks from college and grad school.

She met with Keith and Rachel to walk back to the hotel; Keith was clicking through his Blackberry, presumably messaging his wife as he had most days at the end of the conference, while Rachel had started talking about dinner. For the last four nights, they’d eaten together, chatted about the speakers they saw, and then retired to their rooms alone. Y/N didn’t mind Keith so much; he reminded her of her Uncle Chuck– he was kind and funny and minded his own business. Rachel was tiresome but intelligent; she’d tried to convince Y/N to go out in the evenings for a drink but she’d politely declined each time.

She was looking forward to the week by herself. She’d convinced her boss to let her stay the week– work would pay for her plane tickets while she had to cover the additional week of hotel stay on her own. That seemed like a fair compromise since they’d paid for her hotel and food for the nights she was there on business. Y/N hadn't allowed herself any kind of real celebration after getting her graduate degree; she’d just jumped straight into job hunting and her career. It was time to take a break and enjoy herself. This was her first vacation alone… ever… and she was more than ready to take in Prague in the spring.

“Want to meet in the lobby at 6 and go for dinner?” Rachel asked as they approached the hotel.

Keith shook his head, “I’m going to get room service and finish packing.”

Rachel turned to Y/N who offered a tight smile… she could do one more meal with Rachel before a week alone so she agreed quietly as they approached the elevator bank.

Chris had disembarked the shuttle from the studio and lumbered in the back entrance of the hotel with his cast mates; they chatted casually as they made their way to the elevator banks. An elevator arrived just a few moments later and people clambered in, quickly filling the space. Chris waved them on, not feeling like spending another second cramped in with the other sweaty, exhausted actors. He stood alone waiting for the next car to arrive when the click of high heels on the tiled floor alerted him to someone approaching.

Three figures– a barrel-chested man, a short, middle-aged woman, and a lithe woman about his age– stopped and reached for the elevator call button. It was already lit up from Chris, but the youngest woman tapped it once for good measure and then stepped back and away from it. Chris kept his eyes downcast, trying not to be noticed or engage in conversation. The last thing he had the energy to do was engage in appropriate social banter with strangers. It was hard enough before he became recognizable; now that he had a superhero gig under his belt, it was almost impossible to avoid small talk and autographs once he made eye contact.

That said, from where she stood a few feet beside and in front of him, he struggled not to notice the curve of the young woman’s legs or the way her heels accentuated them in her business casual outfit.

The elevator arrived and Chris stepped back to let people exit, his eyes still downcast and then gestures to his companions. The older woman walked by him swiftly without a word, the man offered him a curt nod, and the youngest woman said a quiet, “thanks,” as she stepped in front of him where his eyes were again drawn to her curves.

He moved quickly around the young woman and into the back corner where he could try to hide; the other woman asked, “What floor?”

“Seven, please.”

“Easy enough,” there was laughter in her tone when he realized she’d already hit seven for all of them.

She backed away from the buttons and started to talk to the younger woman next to her, asking about dinner. Her companion had moved back beside Chris to lean against the back of the elevator to surreptitiously lift each foot and roll her ankle.

They still hadn’t made eye contact– but as the floors quietly passed and he watched her move on to ease out of her shoe just enough to flex her foot. She talked quietly with her friend, making plans to meet back downstairs in a few hours.

When the conversation lulled, Chris couldn’t help himself, “I don’t know how people don’t break more ankles in heels,” he gestured at her feet. “Seems awful.”

“For the right shoe or the right occasion I’ll take the pain, but I regret my decision,” she started to turn to him but was distracted when the other woman cut in, “is it your ankle again?”

“Yeah,” the younger replied, “I have an old injury that sometimes acts up when I wear heels too much. I think walking on the cobblestones is getting to me.”

The elevator dinged quietly to signal arriving at the floor and Rachel stepped out, followed by Y/N, then Keith, and then Chris. Keith had quietly said goodbye as the elevator doors were opening and Y/N had already wished him a safe flight while Rachel promised to meet him in the lobby at 7:50 tomorrow morning.

Rachel had stopped in the middle of the hallway to talk to Y/N, effectively blocking Chris from going past in the thin halls of the historic building. “Excuse me,” he muttered quietly, trying to get their attention.

Y/N stepped out of the way without looking at Chris; her eyes were still trained on Rachel as she talked quickly about dinner. She hadn’t moved. Y/N grabbed her arm and started to pull her out of the middle of the hallway just as Chris had said, “can I just–” a little more forcefully than he intended.

“I’m moving,” Rachel snapped, looking up at him before her eyes got wide. “Oh God,” she gasped.

Chris wanted to squeeze his eyes shut in frustration. He knew that reaction. He knew what was coming.

“Oh my God!” She said again, louder this time as she reached for his arm, “You’re Captain America!”

He slowly turned, trying to calm his breathing and stop the sweat that had just started to trickle down his neck again. He was so uncomfortable in these moments. He never knew what to do, how to respond, how long to stand there, how to get out of it… He took in the woman speaking. She wasn’t old and wasn’t unattractive; she was probably in her 50s with copper hair and green eyes; she was short and thin and had on a little more makeup than she needed, was dressed in a tailored pantsuit, and was grinning ear to ear.

“My nephews just love your movie, do you think I could take a picture with you to send them? I took them to see it in theaters. They watch it every time they come over. I’m a big fan too, you’re wonderful.”

Rachel was blushing furiously and talking faster than normal.

Chris forced a smile, “sure, I’d be happy to.”

Rachel turned to Y/N and started to hand her phone over, “Y/N, can you take it?”

Y/N didn’t respond.

Chris finally turned his attention to look at the other woman in the hallway and his breath caught in his throat.

He could still see the teenager in her face, but she was a full-grown woman now. She was stunning– as beautiful as he’d found her in line at the lift, in the tattoo parlor, on the dance floor. Years in between had done nothing but add to her beauty. She’d filled out in the most luscious, delicious way; his eyes trailed all across her body and back to her eyes. Those eyes. The ones he’d been able to both light up and tear up.

His heart hammered harder in his chest while he stared at her– the woman he’d been convinced was the one that got away. The woman he’d hated himself for leaving that night. The woman he very consciously compared every other woman to.

“Chris,” she breathed. He sighed her name in return, both of them staring in silence.

“Shit, Y/N, do you know him?” Rachel practically squealed, looking between the two of them.

“What are you–”

“I’m here for a conference, are you working?”

Chris nodded, “we’re in rehearsals now, filming starts in a few days.”

“Hi, Y/N, what's going on?” Rachel interjected again and Y/N felt frustration coiling, ready to snap. Her emotions were on overdrive right now and the absolute last thing she wanted to do was talk to this woman.

“We met years ago,” she turned to Rachel, trying to keep her voice from shaking, “we were kids. It’s been…” she trailed off.

“We met 15 years ago.” Chris finished for her, turning to Rachel. “Let’s get you that picture.” He told her, taking her phone and flipping it to the new front-facing camera. He held it at arm’s length and they both smiled. Chris took a few and then handed the phone back to Rachel who was already texting her nephews. Chris and Y/N were still staring at each other, neither one of them able to come up with the right words.

“I’ll meet you at 6, Y/N,” Rachel finally looked up from her phone and glanced between the two of them. “I’m going to need a lot of details,” she smirked and Y/N didn’t have the brainpower to roll her eyes. She knew that dinner was going to be a barrage of nosy questions. For a therapist, Rachel was not good at respecting boundaries.

“Should we… I mean… Why don’t we…” Y/N tried several different starts but faltered each time. Her whole body was shaking, she was sweating, and she was so anxious. Y/N was fiddling with the strap of her bag on her shoulder; Chris had seen her do this each time they’d been together– her anxiety manifested in fidgets and lip biting. The lip biting, he remembered, was one habit he liked on her.

“What room are you in?”

“734.”

“I’m 718,” Chris gestured in the opposite direction that Rachel had just walked. Had they been staying just rooms apart for days and never seen each other? They walked quietly down the hall and stopped in front of Chris’s room. They were both lost in thought for several more seconds before he said, “Do you have to go to dinner with her?”

Y/N huffed a laugh before glancing down the hall to see that Rachel was gone, “I don’t particularly want to, but it’s her last night and I already agreed to it.”

Chris nodded, “How long are you here?”

“Another week,” her fidgeting continued.

Chris visibly brightened, “Are you staying here the whole time?” She nodded. “I’m off tomorrow, can I take you to breakfast?”

Y/N hesitated and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth making Chris’s heart skip. She stared at him, her eyes bouncing between his before she nodded, “yes,” she said quietly.

“I’ll come get you at 10,” he started to reach for her, to pull her in for a hug, but he hesitated. He grasped the strap of his backpack tighter and raked his eyes over her face for any signs of regret, or hesitation. She was still biting her lip and watching him carefully; for a long moment, she didn’t respond to him and finally said simply, “okay.”

“See you in the morning,” he watched her walk down the hall, no more than 10 rooms away. He tried not to watch her ass, he tried to focus on all of her from the curve of her neck to the sway of her hips. She glanced back at him as she pulled out her room key; for the first time, she offered him a real smile, and even from down the hall, he saw a blush rise in her cheeks.

He launched his bag across the room to his bed and strode right into the bathroom to crank on the shower. Chris’s mind was racing. She was here. Y/N was here. She was down the hall, right now, and had been for days. He stripped out of the sweats and T-shirt sticking to his body and stepped into the warm water; he probably should’ve gone with a cold shower after seeing her; his whole body was tingling and excited. He was sweating again, he was anxious, and he was coursing with adrenaline.

He was positive, absolutely certain, he’d never have a chance to see her again. When he’d walked out of her DC apartment that night in a fit of stubborn stupidity, he’d hated himself every step of the way…

Chris shoved open the last door and let the cool night air hit him in the face. He couldn’t believe how stupid he was. How had he not seen it was her the moment his eyes fell on her? How had he taken this long to realize that it was Y/N? And more importantly, how was he a big enough dick that he’d just walked out on her after chasing her down and forcing his way into her apartment tonight.

“Fuck,” he muttered to himself. No wonder she’d rejected him. No wonder she's pushed him away. He was impulsive and expected her to jump into his arms with one big gesture. He’d expected that even after he’d misled her about Jessica. Even after he’d spent two hours up against her and flirting with her without realizing who she was. And shit, the comment about other women…

Had fame really done this to him? He had a little taste of being famous with one big movie and it had gone to his head this fast? Did he really have his head so far up his own ass that he didn’t realize the girl of his dreams was standing in front of him? He’d been thinking about her for years– what the fuck was wrong with him? How… HOW had he not realized? He hadn’t been up close to her in seven years but it didn’t mean he hadn’t pictured her, hadn’t seen her pictures….

Chris was cocky, that wasn’t a secret. He knew he was hot shit, he knew that women fell at his feet, and he knew that he enjoyed their attention. He bought them drinks, took them to bed, and didn’t call because he didn’t have to… there was always someone else. But never who he wanted.

Because she’d walked out of that shitty little Boston apartment and he hadn’t stopped comparing every woman’s laugh to hers. He’d followed her basketball career, showing up at any game in LA or Boston without her knowing. He’d watched her stats and seen her success. He’d been proud to see her play live, hiding in the upper levels of stadiums to avoid being noticed, dragging his brother or sisters along whenever he could to be able to blame them if anyone asked why he was there. They’d never asked why they were there. But they’d cornered him one Christmas after they’d all talked and all realized that they’d all been dragged to women’s collegiate basketball games… and always the same team… and then Scott had gotten on the school’s website and recognized that one face from when they were teenagers…

His family knew. His close friends knew. They all knew how bad Chris had it for Y/N.

And yet here he fucking was, standing outside her apartment after he’d stormed out for absolutely no good reason.

He should go back in; he should walk back up the stairs to pound on the door and demand she open it.

But he didn’t.

He sat down on the curb, grateful it was late and there were only a few passing cars on this side street. Chris sat on the curb, his head in his hands, and loathed every part of his being. He decided to sit out here and wait for her to come out. She’d have to leave eventually and he would be here to grovel. He wouldn’t make excuses, he’d be honest– that he was a self-centered asshat who didn’t know his head from his ass and should’ve known immediately who she was.

It wasn’t until almost an hour later when Y/N’s friends, including Annie who he recognized from that fateful weekend and the weeks after, came stumbling out of a cab.

“Christopher Evans,” she slurred, pointing a finger at him as the other girls piled out and into the building, “you hurt her again, didn’t you.”

“Annie,” he said in acknowledgment, not responding to the rest of her statement.

“You’re a dick.” She walked by him and towards the door. He hadn’t realized she’d seen him in there too; of course, she had. He followed her to the door when she whipped around, “You will not come in here!”

“I shouldn’t have walked out on her, please, Annie.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him, watching him beg. She’d done it before, sitting in that park, listening to him plead his case. She had the same look on her face then– one that he couldn’t read; he took a step towards her.

“Annie,” he pleaded, “I know I messed up last time, I don’t want to do it again. I’m not dating anyone, I’m entirely single. I compare her kisses to everyone I’ve ever kissed. Let me go back up there and fix this before it’s too late. I can fix this.”

“Fuck you,” Her words were venomous– a best friend defending her territory– but her tone was a purr; Chris took a startled step back as she prowled towards him. She closed the gap between them quickly though and put her hands on his chest. “C’mon, Evans,” her voice was low, and her hand was dragging across his pecs.

“What the hell, Annie,” he kept walking backward, stumbling over the curb and into the street.

“You can fuck me instead,” she was keeping pace with him; “you can’t have her, I won’t let you near her, but I’ll let you fuck me.”

He threw his hands up in the air as far away from her as possible, “not what I’m here for, Annie, I’m just here for Y/N.”

“I think you just want to get your dick wet, and I can be that for you.”

“I’m out of here,” Chris mumbled, shoving his hands in his pocket and finishing the walk across the street to the other sidewalk. Annie watched him go and he didn’t look back– not at her. He looked back across the street and up at the window that was still lit… the one where the curtain fluttered and he watched a feminine figure disappear into the recesses of the room.

He sat in his room now in Prague picturing that night and the feelings that coursed through him. The residual regret and disgust in himself were present every time he allowed himself to think of that night and how he’d handled it. He stepped out of the shower and toweled off, pulling on sweats and a t-shirt and ordering room service in hopes that some food in his stomach and a beer in his hand would settle his mind to think about what he wanted to say to her tomorrow.

Y/N stared out the window of her room at the bustling city getting ready for a Friday evening. People were going home from work, headed to get drinks, and bringing children home from the park and school. People all around her were going about their business, but she couldn’t.

Chris was down the hall. The last time she’d seen him, it was his retreating form across R Street and down the corner where he’d disappeared and she’d never seen him again. She’d allowed herself to see his movies, and she didn’t run away from his image as she had after the last blow to her ego. She was happy for him and proud of him. She was grateful for those two special nights in Vermont and Boston that had made her feel good. Time had given her perspective to appreciate that they were special moments and to let them be what they were– fun and flirty and nothing more. That night he’d walked out of her apartment in DC had hurt the worst….

Annie charged into Y/N’s apartment, kicking off her heels and finding the girls sitting on Y/N’s kitchen floor eating Bagel Bites and chugging water, giggling over their recap of the night. Annie continued through the apartment to find Y/N curled up on the sofa in sweatpants and a Bucknell sweatshirt she hadn’t seen in ages.

“Y/N… what are you wearing,” Annie sighed, dropping on the sofa next to her and pinching the sweatshirt between her fingers. Y/N shrugged, not responding but tucking in on herself more. Annie saw the puffy eyes and quivering lip. “He’s not worth it.”

“I know.”

“He’s an ass just trying to get some ass.”

“I don’t think he was, Annie, I don’t think I should've pushed him.”

Annie shrugged, propping her feet on the coffee table, “If he can’t handle being challenged then he couldn't handle a relationship.”

“He just wanted so much so fast. He was ready to jump in and be something but earlier tonight…” Y/N trailed off and twisted the sleeve of the sweatshirt in her fingers. It didn’t smell like him anymore, but she hadn’t allowed herself to get rid of it. She’d always intended to give it back to him that night in Boston but she’d left it at Annie’s dorm and then it had all fallen apart. All these years later she kept it tucked in the back of her closet when she wanted to be reminded of him.

Annie huffed, “he just came onto me, Y/N. Forget him.”

Y/N’s eyes widened, “what?”

“Yeah, he just asked me to go home with him. He did it when he kept calling me in Boston too. I had to chase him into the street and tell him off!” She rolled her eyes, “he’s a pig.”

Tears started to stream down Y/N’s face again, “I can’t believe he’d do that.”

Annie shrugged, “do you want some Bagel Bites? I’m going to get some before they’re all gone.”

Y/N shook her head and got up off the sofa, retreating to her bedroom. Her friends had stayed the night, taking up spaces on the sofa, and Annie eventually came in to share Y/N’s bed. Everyone had gone home the next morning hungover and talking about going out that night, but Y/N had crawled back to her bed after she locked the door behind her and cried.

Annie would’ve teased her, but Y/N had always believed in love at first sight because of Chris. She’d never admitted that the feeling she got when she first giggled at him in the lift line– when he was blushing madly and they couldn't stop making eye contact– was a feeling she’d been chasing her entire life. No one had made her feel that again. She’d only ever felt it again twice more: the night in Boston while he touched her and kissed her and for a fleeting moment last night when he’d slid into the cab next to her– when she realized this might actually work out.

Over greasy McDonald’s breakfast (the perfect hangover cure), Annie had gone on and on about Chris, despite the looks Sasha and Jenna kept throwing at her when they saw tears welling in Y/N’s eyes. She’d finally relayed the story about their meetup in Boston, when he’d claimed it was to get Y/N’s number and talked to her but, according to Annie, he’d hit on her the whole time. She said the same thing happened in the street outside last night– that Chris had said he was waiting to take her home and that Y/N was far better off without that sleazy fuckboy.

On the way to the elevators, Y/N glanced at Chris’s door, hoping that fate would call him out to the hallway; when she sensed no movement behind it, she continued to the elevator and then the lobby where Rachel dragged her into the bustling streets and to a restaurant she’d had recommended to her by one of the bartenders.

Dinner was easy enough; Rachel relentlessly pried Y/N for details about how she knew the stupidly handsome Chris Evans well enough to leave them both speechless. Y/N dodged the questions for a while as Rachel continued to top off her wine and eventually, the story tumbled out of her. She couldn’t stop herself; she needed someone to talk to– her feelings were too raw and emotional– she started in Killington and ended in the hallway, filling in as many gaps between as Rachel listened carefully and responded, to Y/N’s surprise, supportively.

“Sounds like you’d be stupid not to give him a chance again. It seems like the universe is telling you that you have to.” Y/N finished the last medovnik and dropped her fork while Rachel continued. “I’ve only ever been in love once, and I didn’t feel half as excited to see her as you do when you talk about Chris.”

“I don’t know if I’m in love with him, I hardly know him,” she sat back in her seat, tossing her crumpled napkin on the table next to her dessert. “And I just… I can’t…” She kept dropping her sentence while avoiding eye contact with Rachel.

Like a good therapist, Rachel caught onto the deflection and pounced; “Sounds like you’ve got more on your mind.”

“I do.”

“Spill,” she leaned forward and propped her chin in her hands, “I have the company card to buy dinner and I’m not paying until you get it all out.”

“I can’t get past the Annie part.”

“That he hit on her?”

Y/N nodded, “I just can’t stop thinking about that– that he’d claimed he wanted me but would then go hit on Annie and try to take her home– twice.”

Rachel was quiet for a moment, “did you talk to Annie about it?”

“Yeah, but she always blew it off and called him names before she changed the subject.”

“Talk to her again, it’s been years now, see if she’ll talk about it. She was probably embarrassed or ashamed that she might’ve shown interest when you were clearly involved.”

Y/N paused, playing with the tablecloth, “We’re not really friends anymore.”

Rachel’s eyebrows shot up, “oh? Why’s that?”

“We had a falling out about six months after that night with Chris.” Rachel was silent as she let Y/N gather her thoughts and continue.

“She slept with my boyfriend.”

“Come again.”

Y/N nodded, “I met this guy Brandon pretty soon after the whole thing with Chris happened. I liked him, he wasn’t going to be the one but we had fun. We all went to a Halloween party, I got too drunk and my friends took me home. The next morning I went to Annie’s to return the shoes I’d worn out… and Brandon was leaving. We ran into each other on the street, he came clean immediately and was at least decent enough to be apologetic before I obviously ended things. I went up to confront Annie and she lied to my face. I walked out and never went back. I took the shoes with me.”

Rachel didn’t say anything for several long heartbeats before she said, “so you’re telling me that she slept with your boyfriend and lied to you and you’re concerned about what happened with her and Chris?”

“Yes.”

“Y/N, you know what happened with them.”

“Huh?”

“Sweetie, you’re smart. Nothing happened with her and Chris. She lied to you then too.”

“I don’t know, Rachel, before that night with Brandon she was my closest friend in the world, why would she have made that up?”

Rachel rolled her eyes but said nothing, flagging down the waiter for the check. They walked back to the hotel with Rachel running her mouth again, although this time, Y/N had more patience for it; it had been a while since she had someone she could talk to…

“I’m going to head to the bar for a nightcap,” Rachel said over her shoulder as she marched away, leaving Y/N at the elevators. “Good luck!”

Y/N spun her ring on her finger while she waited for the car to arrive and rode up alone and in silence to the seventh floor. She made her way slowly down the hallway, pausing again outside his door and hearing the low hum of the television from inside. She hesitated, raising her hand to knock before dropping it and scurrying to her room.

Once inside, she plopped on the bed and continued to play with her ring, twisting it over and over again while her mind coursed through every single second she’d ever spent in Chris’s presence.

In total, it was less than 48 hours.

What was she thinking, throwing around words like love and soulmates for someone she hardly knew? She knew him better from his IMDB profile than she knew him. This was just lust, right? It had to be just lust. Just wanting something she’d never had.

And yet…

She knew what it was like to see his passion spark when he talked about something or someone he loved. That hadn’t changed in any of the moments they spent together.

She knew what it was like to see him look deeply into her eyes and listen to her bare her soul about her fears of failure, her secret hopes to help those who couldn’t help themselves and never ever laugh at her.

She knew what it was like to feel the weight of his hand on her waist bring comfort and solace, even when her anxiety was spiking.

She knew what it was like to watch those blue eyes take in her lips and watch her carefully before he kissed her.

This couldn’t just be lust.

She groaned loudly and forced herself off the bed and into the bathroom to change into her soft, mauve pajamas. She washed the makeup off her face and brushed the wine out of her mouth, swishing the water around and trying to concentrate on the feeling of the water in her mouth, the mint on her tongue… anything to keep her mind off the mountain of muscle down the hall.

Chris had sworn that he’d heard someone slow to a stop outside his door. He could’ve sworn he saw the shadow of two thin, lovely legs and the sound of hurried breathing before a quick rustle of feet on the carpet moving quickly away.

Then again, he was positive he’d heard someone outside his door every 15 minutes for the last three hours. The first four times he’d gotten up off the bed and checked the peephole. The fifth time it had startled him because it was actually room service. The sixth time, and every time after that, he forced himself to stay sprawled on the bed munching french fries and trying to pay attention to Big Bang Theory reruns.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t focus on Leonard and Penny, and Sheldon. He couldn’t keep his attention on their chaos and silly drama. All he could think about was Y/N. She was in the same city once again and he was bound and determined to make tomorrow morning the most important date she’d ever been on. He yanked his phone out to look up restaurants when he saw a text.

Scott: you dead? i havent heard from you all week Chris: basically Chris: you’re never going to guess who’s down the hall right now Scott replied quickly: Cher Chris: lol nope… Scott: … Madonna? Chris: … Y/N

Chris’s phone rang immediately and he picked up quickly, “what the fuck, have you talked to her?”

“I’m taking her to breakfast tomorrow.”

“Where? You know it has to be perfect. Was she mad? How did she seem? Did she hug you? TELL ME EVERYTHING!”

Chris laughed, shifting off the bed to his laptop to continue looking for breakfast choices, “she was nervous but she didn’t turn me down on the spot.”

“Christopher Robert, I may have broken her ankle but if you break this girl’s heart one more time, I’m going to break your face. Do you know how many shitty stadium hot dogs I had to eat while you pined for her? Do you know what an idiot you were in DC? Do you know how much I’d love to throat punch you for taking so goddamn long to fix this?”

Chris laughed before sucking in a breath and letting the pause linger; he quietly said, “what if I can’t fix it? What if she doesn’t want me?”

“Then you close the door on it for good, but you’ve always wondered. After you were a complete fool in DC you’ve never dated the same way. You’ve held everyone at arm’s length.”

Chris was quiet, thinking about Scott’s answer. Scott continued to talk; he’d opened his own laptop and was Googling from his apartment in LA, offering suggestions and reading menus out loud while Chris did the same.

He didn’t hear the knock the first time over Scott’s ranting about not being invited to Prague and therefore not being there to help Chris win Y/N back.

At the sound of the second knock, Chris froze and went silent. “Shut up,” he told his brother, refusing to move from the desk… he refused to believe it was real. No one was knocking at 10 pm.

A heavy sigh on the other side of the door made Chris’s gaze yank quickly away from his computer screen and to the crack between the carpet and the door: a shadow.

The shadow shuffled and he heard a quiet, “this is stupid,” before it disappeared.

Chris launched out of the desk chair and across the room, dropping his phone on the desk with his brother’s shouting, “WHAT IS HAPPENING,” into the earpiece. Chris yanked open the door and charged into the hallway.

She was retreating to her room, clad in all pink, her hair piled on her head, and in just socks.

Chris had enough forethought to pull the latch through the door to keep it from locking behind him and he took three large steps to come face-to-face with Y/N.

“I couldn't wait until morning,” she said quietly, her hands twisting in front of her.

He grabbed her hands to still them, pulling them around his neck and dipped his lips to kiss her.

Taglist: @bellaireland1981 @before-we-get-started @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @elrw24 @maylaysia109 @royalwritersoftheuniversesverses

[cowboybrunch]

hi Sav! want to share something about 'gods will bleed' from the WIP title game? or perhaps botrd? hope you're having a good day!

hi!!! i hope you're having the best day, thank you for the ask!! <3

let's talk about Gods Will Bleed!

it's been kinda on the back burner for a while now and is my first real foray into world-building which is a fun challenge. so lemme share a little about the world

there are four currently worshipped deities, each representing an element

Kuna (water) - stamina, endurance, healing

Aena (fire) - desire, rage, rebirth

Imera (wind) - direction, travel, freedom

Odall (earth) - stability, nourishment, security

Every 25 years, four candidates (one for each god) are picked from the general population to become disciples. They study and compete to become the Chosen disciple to ascend to (GODHOME which doesn't have a name yet)

BUT Arabelle Kiran, disciple of Aena, doesn't get that far. The day before she's meant to attend the ceremony for the Chosen, she's kidnapped by a strange man with mysterious motivations and a suspicious concern for her wellbeing

“There were five. I mean, I heard a story once that there were five gods, not four.” He raises his eyebrows, leaning forward to brace his elbows on his knees. “Oh? And what happened to the fifth? According to the story, of course.” The memory is fuzzy and inconsistent. It was one that was whispered between the older generation in the village. No written record existed, and anyone that was caught asking questions about the fifth god was either silenced or disappeared. The whispers stopped entirely before my fourth birthday, but— “He was cast out for being cruel and disobedient. He would snatch women and children from their homes and make them into servants or wives.” Or both. I shake my head. “They don’t tell that story, though. Not anymore. I can’t even remember his name.” “Probably for the best, if he was as awful as the stories say.”

we get romance. we get fire magic. we get a lovable sidekick.

im not sure if this WIP will ever be finished honestly BUT. it's pretty far out of my comfort zone so it's fun to write for sure!

thank you for the ask!!! <3

[dreamdragoness]

As promised, here is Royalty AU Stacy Flannigan in her true attire as the Crown Princess of the Joker Kingdom. I've also given this AU story a name: "Wildcard." On the continent where the Four Kingdoms of Hearts, Clubs, Diamonds, and Spades reside, there is a secret fifth kingdom: the Jokers. Also known as the Wildcard Kingdom, the Joker Kingdom is an independent nation that in the ancient past acted as a mediator and bridge between the other four kingdoms. They believe in bringing smiles to people's faces and that happiness doesn't belong to one nation. It is also the birthplace of the Arts, with the common attire of the Jokers is of a jester/harlequin design. The Jokers love performing and are masters of their craft. The most prominent trait of the Jokers is their shadows. Upon birth, a Joker's shadow comes to life as they are infused with part of the child's soul. The shadows not only help with performances, but show the more prominent parts of the child's personality. For example, Stacy's shadow shows her more playful side when Stacy herself is trying to be serious. The shadows are both the Joker and their own person and are often the very first friend a Joker child has. The shadows are also capable of picking up stuff by manipulating the object's shadow, making it look like a ghost is holding the item. They can also get into places their Joker is unable to reach such as through a door by going underneath it. They can even separate from their Joker for a short time. However, the maximum time limit for a Joker and their shadow to be separated is approximately 72 hours. If the shadow is gone for a couple of hours, the Joker's health will begin to deteriorate. If the shadow doesn't return by three days time, the Joker and the shadow both die. It is a slow, agonizing death. Combat for the Jokers is a mixture of performance, melee, and magic. Their acrobatics makes them hard to hit and enables to get them the advantage. Because Joker magic is on a deeper level than normal magic, they can cast various spells in offensive magic, defensive magic, and support magic. The catch is the Joker has to do some sort of full-body performance such as singing and dancing like they are in a musical. That is because Combat magic must flow through the body in order to be used and just regular exercise isn't enough. Their shadows also join in the fight if the Joker is strong enough. They are able to peel themselves off the surface and increases in size and are able to dish out physical attacks, but are still attached to their Joker.

The rulers of the Joker Kingdom is the Flannigan Family. They had been the ruling family of the Jokers ever since the kingdom's founding and are considered the "Jacks of All Trades" of the Jokers. The biggest reason is that the ruler of the Jokers is bestowed the Cards of Fate. The Cards of Fate is a magical tarot deck said to have been blessed by the gods on the first Flannigan, giving them the duty to lead a mediating nation. The ruler consults the Cards of Fate regarding the future, but it takes a huge toll with each prediction. They are also the Flannigan Family's greatest weapon as the Cards amplifies their magic and enables them to cast unique spells. Not to mention they can be used like shuriken or kunai. The one who wields the Cards of Fate is recognized as the ruler of the Jokers. The title the Joker ruler receives upon their coronation depends on their preferred gender pronouns. Men are given the title "The King of Fools." Women are referred as "Harliqueen." Non-binary rulers are given a choice between Sovereign or Monarch. (Their title is still being debated on by the Joker Kingdom.)

One century, the current rulers of the Four Kingdoms wanted to conquer each other and if they can get the Jokers on their side, victory was guarantied. The Jokers, however, were mostly pacifists and when the ruler of the time refused, the Four Kingdoms began to kidnap people from the outer edges of the Joker Kingdom. Because all four sides kept grabbing people and forcing them to fight, the Joker monarch of the time used the most devastating spell in the Cards of Fate's repertoire: The Card of Madness. The Card of Madness unleashes a wave of magic that attacks whomever the caster is fighting. In this case, the Four Kingdoms. The card's power induces hallucinations of people's worst fears and warps them into something terrifying. Think of it as the town of Silent Hill if it were a magical card. The card's magic lasts 24 hours, but the psychological damage can be so great to the point where those afflicted start seeing their friends as their fears and begin killing each other, or they take the easy way out and commit suicide. Those who endure were scarred for life. The Joker Monarch was able to use the card enough that it spared the children of the kingdoms. Wanting to protect their people, the Monarch of the Jokers created a barrier of enchanted fog. If someone who isn't a Joker goes in, they'll end up at one of the other kingdoms. Almost as if the very land never existed. Many seek out the Joker Kingdom to this day, wanting to see if the lost kingdom is real or not. Artists of all sorts such as actors, comedians, and even painters long to to on a pilgrimage to the Joker Kingdom if it ever proven real again.

But the Jokers don't want to stay hidden forever and considered the barrier a prison even though they can pass through it freely. But with the chance of the descendants of the Four Corrupted Rulers being like their ancestors high, the Monarch implemented a system that happens with the coronation of a new monarch of one of the other kingdoms. A Joker is chosen by the Cards of Fate to secretly evaluate their chosen kingdom's ruler and see what kind of ruler they will turn out to be. If all Four Kingdoms have good rulers on their thrones at once, then the Jokers can come out of hiding. If not, then they remain hidden. However, Jokers can live in the other kingdoms, but they must never reveal their Joker heritage to anyone. Not even to their loved ones. Crown Princess Anastasia "Stacy" Flannigan was unexpectantly chosen as the Joker to the Kingdom of Hearts. The reason it was unexpected was because never had a Flannigan, a member of the royal family, been chosen to give the year-long secret evaluation. Since the Cards of Fate stated that Stacy was the chosen one for the Hearts Kingdom, she bids her father, the current King of Fools, and her friends good-bye and enters the Hearts' castle as a maid, unaware of the adventure she was going to endure.

---------------------------------------------------

The are two influences for the Joker Kingdom. The games "Undertale" and especially "Okage: Shadow King." The latter game was what inspired me to create the shadow thing for the Jokers. Probably expect the local wildlife to be just as zany-looking.

Royalty AU: @neonross

Wildcard AU and Stacy Flannigan: Me

[am--f]

Hollis Frampton, "A Stipulation of Terms From Maternal Hopi" (1973/75)

1. [] = The radiance.

2. ]D[]Y[ = Containers to be opened in total darkness.

3. ]PS[]L[ = A drug used by women to dilate the iris of the eye.

4. ]H[]H[]L[ = Epithet of the star ]S[]S[]N[*, used while succulents are in bloom. 

5. ]PT[]Y] = Last light seen by one dying in the fifth duodecad of life.

6. ]XN[ = Heliotrope.

7. ]TL[]D[ = Rotating phosphenes of 6 or 8 arms.

8. ]BN[]T[ = Shadow cast by light of lesser density upon light of greater.

9. ]V[]TR[ = The pineal body; time.

10. ]XR[ = The sensation of sadness at having slept through a shower of meteors.

11. ]MR[][ = The luster of resin from the shrub ]R[]R[, which fascinates male babies.

12. ]NX[]KT[ = The light that congeals about vaguely imagined objects.

13. ]DR[]KL[ = Phosphorescence of one's father, exposed after death.

14. ]SM[]N[ = Fireworks in celebration of afirstborn daughter.

15. ]GN[]T[]N[ = Translucence of human flesh. 

16. ]TM[]X[]T[ = Delight at sensing that one is about to awaken.

17. ]TS[]H[ = Shadow cast by the comet ]XT[ uponthe surface of the sun.

18. ]R[]D[ = An afterimage. **

19. ]D[]DR[ = A white supernova reported by alien traveller.

20. ]K[]SK[ = A cloud; mons Veneris.

21. ][]Z[]S[= Ceremonial lenses, made ofice brought down from the high mountains.

22. ]KD[]X[ = Winter moonlight, refracted by a glass vessel filled with the beverage ]NK[]T[.

23. ]P[]M[]R[ = Changes in daylight initiated by the arrival of a beloved person unrelated to one.

24. ]G[]S[ = Gridded lightning seen by those born blind.

25. ]W[]N[]T[ = An otherwise unexplained fire in a dwelling inhabited only by women.

26. ]G[]GN[ = The sensation of desiring to see the color of one's own urine.

27. ]M[]K[ = Snowblindness.

28. ]H[]R[ = Unexpected delight atseeing something formerly displeasing.

29. ]H[]ST[ = The arc of a rainbow defective in a single hue.

30. ]L[]L[]X[=The fovea of the retina; amnesia.

31. ][]R[ = The sensation of satisfaction at having outstared a baby.

32. ]ST[ = Improvised couplets honoring St. Elmo's Fire.

33. ]V[]D[ = The sensation of indifference to transparency.

34. ]Z[]TS[ = Either ofthe colors brought to mind by the fragrance of plucked ]TR[ ferns.

35. ]X[]H[ = Royal expedition in search of a display of Aurora Borealis.

36. ]T[]K[]N[=Changes in day light that frighten dogs.

37. ]Y[]X[ = The optic chiasmus (Colloq.); abysmal; testicles.

38. ]N[][]T[ = The twenty-four heartbeats before the firstheartbeat ofsunrise.

39. ]F[]X[= A memory of the color violet, reported by those blinded in early infancy.

40. ]T[]Y[]Y[ = The sensation of being scrutinized by a reptile.

41. ]B[]NM[ = Mute.***

42. ]N[]T[]N[ =The sound of air in a cave; areverie lasting less than a lunar month; long dark hair.

43. ]S[]TY[ = The light that moves against the wind.

44. ]B[][ = Changes in one's shadow, after one's lover has departed in anger.

45. ]N[]GR[ = The fish Anableps, that sees in two worlds.

46. ]RZ[]R[ = The sensation of longing for an eclipse of the Moon.

47. ]H[]F[ = Stropharia cubensis.

48. ]S[]LR[ = Familiar objects within the vitreous humor.

49. ]W[]X[][ = A copper mirror that reflects only one's own face.

50. ]MN[]X[ = Temporary visions consequent upon trephining.

51. ]G[][]KR[ = Cataract.

52. ]RNpW[ = Hypnagogues incorporating unfamiliar birds.

53. ]M[]D[ = A dream of seeing through one eye only.

*Probably Fomalhaut (alpha Piscis Australis). **Also used as a classifier of seeds. ***Standing epithet of ancestral deities.

PDF

[istar-ingolmo]

Silmarillion Primer: The Sons of Fëanor

Art by Heget

Fëanor had seven children with his wife, Nerdanel. Which was unusual given that most elf women are content to bear at most three to four, and usually then only one or two. All seven were sons and all of them swore an oath with their father to take back the Silmarils. They swore to pursue with violence anyone who kept a Silmaril, no matter who and no matter the reason. This oath was sworn to Eru himself and the Valar as witnesses. This oath would drive the Sons of Fëanor to commit great acts of evil in their pursuit of the jewels and much of it to the pleasure of their enemy, Morgoth Baughlir.

Maedhros- The eldest son. After being saved by Fingon from Thangorodrim, he waved his claim to the title of High King of the Noldor to his uncle Fingolfin. He tried to keep his brothers in check and moved them eastward in Beleriand to avoid confrontations with the Sindar and other Noldor factions. He attempted to form the Union of Maedhros when he heard of Beren and Luthien's successful raid on Angband, however, the evil of his brothers kept Doriath from joining and it failed. He was present for The First, Second and Third Kinslayings, all in pursuit of the Silmarils. When he finally managed to get his hands on one, it burned him. He was unable to bear the pain and cast himself into a fiery chasm along with the Silmaril.

Maglor- the second son of Fëanor. He was a great poet and singer and wrote a lament about the downfall of the Noldor after The First Kinslaying. Like all of his brothers, he was driven to great evil in pursuit of the Silmarils and attacked Doriath and the refugees get one. His attack on the refugees of Doriath orphaned Elrond and Elros, the children of Eärendil and Elwing. So Maglor took upon himself to foster the boys since their parents had disappeared westward. He was the only other brother to survive the War of Wrath with Maedhros and stole one the silmarils from Eonwë’s camp. However, his evil deeds made the jewel burn his hand and he cast his jewel into the sea. No one knows what happened to him after other than his sorrowful singing can still be heard near the shores of the sea.

Celegorm- the third son of Fëanor. He was a great huntsman and Oromë, the Huntsman of the Valar, gifted him a great hound named Huan. He and his brother, Curufin, were always traveling together. After the Dagor Bragolach (Battle of Sudden Flame), he and Curufin lived in Nargothrond. He and Curufin kept Finrod from amassing much help for Beren’s quest for a Silmaril. He and his brother came upon Luthien as she tried to find and help Beren. He wanted to take her as a wife, thus forcing Thingol into a kinship through marriage. His hound, Huan, saw his treachery and helped Luthien escape. He attempted to kill Beren and Luthien after they had fled Angband, but his hound turned on him. He died at the hands of Dior, Beren and Luthien’s son, at the Second Kinslaying in Doriath.

Carathir- fourth son of Fëanor. He was present for the First and Second kinslayings. He also held the furthest realm east in Beleriand along the Ered Luin. He died in the Second Kinslaying in Doriath.

Curufin- fifth son of Fëanor. He was always with his brother, Celegorm. He became the only Noldo to become great friends with the dwarves and learned their language. He assisted in the downfall of Nargothrond by persuading the people not to help their lord help Beren. He and his brother captured Luthien, and attempted to force her to marry Celegorm. He also attempted to murder her afterwards. He had one son by his unnamed wife, Celebrimbor. He eventually died at the Second Kingslaying in Doriath.

Amrod and Amras- the sixth and seventh sons of Fëanor. Not much is known about them other than their mother, Nerdanel, wanted at least one of them to stay in Valinor, but Fëanor denied this. They were great hunters and rendered aid to their brothers willingly. They held a realm in eastern Beleriand. They both perished at the Third Kinslaying on the refugees of Doriath.

All of Fëanor's children died before the beginning of The Second Age. The only survivors of the House of Fëanor were his estranged wife, Nerdanel and their grandson, Celebrimbor. Celebrimbor would go to be just as accomplished a craftsman as his grandfather. For the crafts of his hands would go on to influence Middle-Earth in as much the same way the Silmarils had, when he created the Rings of Power.

[beardedmrbean]

A Connecticut judge ordered a new Democratic mayoral primary in Bridgeport as surveillance footage showed multiple workers allegedly stuffing absentee ballots into an outdoor ballot box days before the original primary.

In September, Incumbent Bridgeport Mayor Joe Ganim defeated challenger John Gomes by 251 votes out of 8,173 cast in the primary election, according to NBC.

However, Gomes released a video in October that appeared to show two women stuffing heaps of ballot papers into drop boxes at least four locations across the city.

Superior Court Judge William Clark determined the amount of evidence left the court “unable” to determine the result for the state’s largest city.

“The volume of ballots so mishandled is such that it calls the result of the primary election into serious doubt and leaves the court unable to determine the legitimate result of the primary,” Clark wrote in his ruling on Wednesday.

The judge ruled that the abnormally large numbers of absentee ballots were cast in certain voting districts and that video evidence showing the alleged ballot stuffing violated state elections law. 

“The videos are shocking to the court and should be shocking to all the parties,” Clark wrote in his ruling.

Judge Clark ruled two women made or were directly involved in 15 incidents of drop boxes being stuffed with ballots.

Gomes’s campaign accused Wanda Geter-Pataky as one of the women who was videoed stuffing the boxes.

Geter-Pataky, a supporter of Ganim and vice chair of the Bridgeport Democratic Town Committee, was questioned in court over her alleged actions, but exercised her Fifth Amendment right and declined to answer questions.

Eneida Martinez, a former city councilwoman, was also questioned in court but would not answer questions about whether she appears in videos showing election fraud.

Gomes — whose campaign obtained the surveillance video and sued the city over the results — demanded a new primary.

“This is a victory for the people of Bridgeport,” Gomes said, according to ABC. “Our campaign always believed that the integrity of our democratic process must be upheld and Superior Court Judge William Clark agreed.”

Clark’s ruling came just six days before Connecticut’s general election on Tuesday.

Voters will now have to return to their polling places following the state’s general election to choose the rightful Democratic nominee, Clark ruled.

The new primary date has yet to be set.

Lamond Daniels and Republican David Herz are also running for mayor.

The defense of the city officials argued that the security camera footage doesn’t prove anything illegal took place — citing “not one voter” has testified about their ballot being mishandled.

All allegations were for “ballot harvesting” and not that ballots were doctored or fake. Ballot harvesting occurs when campaign workers or volunteers for a candidate meet with potential voters and talk them into filling out absentee ballots so they can use those ballots to put in drop boxes or send them out through the mail.

Ganim — who’s denied any knowledge of wrongdoing — also accused Gomes’ campaign workers of breaking voting rules.

“On both sides, there is video of the irregularities. That’s not acceptable. We all want everyone’s vote to count. We all want fair elections.”

The State Elections Enforcement Commission is currently investigating the allegations of ballot-stuffing.

Under Connecticut law, voters using a collection box must drop off their completed ballots themselves, or designate certain family members, police, local election officials or a caregiver to do it for them.

[gerogerigaogaigar]

David Bowie - The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars

This was the dawning of a new age of glam rock. It's spacey like much of the glam scene, but it brought a rock n roll edge that would go on to be a major influence in the development of punk. Ziggy Stardust is supposedly a concept album about a bisexual alien rock star sent to earth to avert an energy crisis, but let's be real that concept only exists in like four songs on the album and even then only loosely. No this is really just an album about creating a moody and weird rock and roll drama filled with jangly guitars, dissonant chords, and a weird sense of desperation that is hard to put my finger on.

Talking Heads - Remain In Light

Remain In Light is a complex labyrinth of looping polyrhythmic grooves equally inspired by punk and new wave as it was from Fela Kuti. This is the album that truly brings the strengths of every member of the band to the forefront. Chris Frantz's funk/punk hybrid drumming is challenged to incorporate complex rhythmic elements from African drumming. Tina Weymouth's looping bass lines wind up holding the entire album together. Jerry Harrison on keys and guitar wind up filling in all the empty spaces in the soundscape. And singer David Byrne delivers cryptic stream of consciousness lyrics. Remain In Light, like their last couple albums, was produced by Brian Eno, and Eno's touch is definitely felt. The production is tight, but well textured. Odd noises are brought further into the foreground and vocals are allowed to sit further back than most bands would allow. Remain In Light is a must listen album.

Bob Dylan - Blonde On Blonde

It must be said, Rainy Day Women #12 & 35 is a bad and stupid song. Yes I 'get it' haha see he says stoned like weed but he means like biblically 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Oh it's so fucking clever kill me. The second that song is over this instantly becomes one of the best Dylan albums by a huge margin. The stretch of songs from Visions Of Johanna to Most Likely You'll Go Your Way (And I'll Go Mine) is an amazing run of 10/10 songs. And the closer, Sad Eyed Lady Of The Lowlands is probably my second favorite Dylan closer after Desolation Row. The tightrope act of balancing the folk and rock sides of his style is performed incredibly.

Dr. Dre - The Chronic

The Chrinic is not a Dre solo album, it's a sampler of all the talent he has collected for his new record label. In fact Snoop probably shares as many verses as Dre does on here. It's an incredibly confident move and all the original Death Row inmates are here. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Lady Of Rage, Warren G, RBX, Kurupt, Nate Dogg, it's an incredible cast. And it's all topped off with new and innovative production that utilizes fewer samples, but deploys then with precision. The gratuitous Parliament-Funkadelic sampling would become standard for hip hop going forward, with The Chronic G-Funk was officially established.

Michael Jackson - Off The Wall

This was Michael Jackson's fifth album, but it really was his debut as an adult musician. The cutesy baby faced member of the Jackson Five was now a certified pop star who could compete on his own merits. The disco hits Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough and Rock With Me as well as the ballad She's Out Of My Life lay the groundwork for Jackson's most fertile creative period. Other than that the album is quite good but does pale in comparison to his 80s output.

The Beatles - Rubber Soul

This was the first Beatles album where it felt like they actually wanted to be taken seriously as artists. Rubber Soul leans into a more folk rock sound that strongly distinguishes this album from its rock and roll predecessors. The expanded instrumentation, including their first use of sitar on Norwegian Wood, is a welcome inclusion. The fab four have fully embraced fuzzy guitars. Also of note is the very surreal attitude towards women on here. Like what the fuck is going on in Norwegian Wood and Run For Your Life? Rock music isn't kind to women, but this is just some psycho shit. I love it.

Stevie Wonder - Innervisions

Innervisions is the real start to a more introspective, witty, and socially conscious Stevie Wonder. There are no more sappy love songs and instead politically minded songs like Living For The City or spiritually hopeful songs like Higher Ground are the bread and butter of this record. What Innervisions does do is take the synth bass that was used on Talking Book and ramp it's usage up. The Moog bass gets more usage as the the clarinet and electric piano. Wonder's energy is extremely infectious, it's no surprise that Innervisions spawned four massive hits that all still see play on classic rock radio.

Amy Winehouse - Back To Black

It is very clear that Amy Winehouse could have gone all the way for period accurate recreation of early 60s Doo wop and girl groups had she wanted to. Thankfully she was better than that. The way she blends those classic styles with their modern equivalents beautifully illuminates the evolutionary path of soul and R&B music. Winehouse is backed up by the legendary Dap-Kings which adds to the authentic retro feel, but the lyricism absolutely trends more towards a modern style (I don't think Rehab would have flown in the early 60s). All in all Back To Black is a shockingly unique yet recognizable album that can only be the result of a unique musical vision.

Beyoncé - Lemonade

This album made a huge splash when it came out. It was dropped without any warning and overnight white girls were writing think pieces about the state of black America. The album's main topic is how her husband Jay-Z had been cheating on her, but she takes the simple theme os heartbreak and betrayal and evaluates it through the lens of how the legacy of American slavery has had ripple effects on black masculinity, femininity and relationships. I'll stop there lest this becomes another white girl think piece about Lemonade. Underneath the themes and stuff is one of Beyoncé's most dynamic albums. It is not at all contained to just R&B and delves into rock frequently and Daddy Lessons is straight up a country rock song. I'm not even close to the first person to sing the praises of this album but you're gonna have to hear it again because Lemonade is perfect.

Miles Davis - Kind Of Blue

In many ways Kind Of Blue resembles other post bop albums. But under the surface something incredibly innovative is happening. You see rather than a chord progression to set the key and then a bunch of solos there is... Wait do you guys know about musical modes? Oh. Uh. This is gonna be hard to explain then. Just trust me that the underlying structure of these songs provides the performers with much more tonal freedom than in other forms of jazz without losing the sense of harmonic center. If you are intrigued Google modal jazz at your own risk. Now the performers themselves are some of the best of the best. Miles himself on trumpet, Cannonball Adderley and John Coltrane on alto and tenor sax respectively, Bill Evans on piano, Paul Chambers on bass, and Jimmy Cobb on drums. Each one of these performers is a legend, each one likely to be the biggest name in any other band. And they explore the freedom that the moral form allows them to craft some of the finest solos in the history of jazz. And it's kinda catchy too. I already have the refrain from So What stuck in my head. Somehow one of the most experimental albums also became one of the best selling jazz albums of all time.

[secretlystephaniebrown]

Books I read in July 2023

20 Books this month! Uh... this list got long, so I'm putting it below the cut.

Weyward by Emily Hart - a solid 'meh" from me. Historical fiction, follows three storylines across three eras. Has vaguely... weird vibes about women/motherhood/witchy stuff. Not a fan. Pretty cover though.

Clytemnestra by Costanza Casate - Listen, I love a Greek Myth retelling. It's fun, and doesn't really girl-boss the story. It's not a favorite, but it's solidly enjoyable.

A Fever in the Heartland by Timothy Egan - A solid nonfiction book, presented as a narrative. It talks about the rebirth of the KKK in the 1920s in the American Midwest. It's interesting and well written, if a bit over-reliant on Big People of History theory.

Binti by Nnedi Okorafor - Binti is very good, but has the issue that a lot of lore-heavy novellas have, which is that there's no room to breathe and absorb the world. Highly recommend though.

Genderqueer by Maia Kobabe - I mean, I did a whole podcast about this one. But it's excellent, and generally a fascinating example of graphic memoir.

The Fiancee Farce by Alexandria Bellefleur - Fake engagement but make it gay! Not perfect, but it's a fun time and a quick read.

Witch King by Martha Wells - MARTHA WELLS STRIKES AGAIN. Probably my favorite thing this month. Fascinating world building, compelling characters, a great narrative.

Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan - I was going to read China Rich Girlfriend but then I realized it's been four years since I read Crazy Rich Asians so I grabbed this back from the library. Still a fun time. Crazy Rich Asians and the sequels read like Regency Romance novels to me, because they're so unhinged from reality in terms of these people's lives. But I love it.

China Rich Girlfriend by Kevin Kwan - A fun sequel, with some fun twists, some great expanded cast, and a delightful premise.

Rich People Problems by Kevin Kwan - Sigh. Last book of the trilogy, and it... doesn't really have a main character, and it suffers a bit from it. The storylines intersect in a kind of artificial way. I liked most of them, but the connective tissue was weaker, so it was my least favorite of the series.

A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin - *chef kiss* Ursula my beloved.

The Crane Husband by Kelly Barnhill - I'm actually not... particularly familiar with the Crane Wife as a story? Never was part of my life growing up. But this is a delightful little novella about a girl whose mother brings home a crane one day. Check the trigger warnings for this one, but it's fun.

Nimona by N.D. Stevenson - I watched the movie then read the graphic novel. I love both. They're so different, but I love both for their own strengths, if that makes sense? It's just so good.

Yellowface by R.F. Kuang - I've read a few other Kuang books, and I think this one is my favorite. Because it's a satyr, the problems in Babel with her lack of subtly doesn't really drag it down. It can be broad, and obvious, and project everything, and it's just funny, rather than frustrating.

Paper Girls volume 5 by Brian K. Vaughan, Cliff Chiang, Matt Wilson, Jared K. Fletcher - Finally wrapping this one up! I love this series, it's a fun time.

Paper Girls Volume 6 - Thank you Hoopla app for letting me check out the final volume immediately after I finished the fifth one. A SOLID story overall.

Poirot Investigates by Agatha Christie - I've had this weird little project going for a while to read all of the Poirot stories in order, and this short story collection is #3. Not sure this one worked for me as well as the others. But I felt satisfied when I finished it.

A Spindle Splintered by Alix E. Harrow - Mm. not for me. I liked the Harrow novel I've read previously, but this "modern fairytale" thing didn't do it for me. Very short though, and the illustrations were fun.

Lady Tan's Circle of Women by Lisa See - I did NOT expect to read this one in a day. I picked it up, fully prepared to read this slowly, since I often take my time with historical fiction before it clicks. But no. This was amazing. I couldn't put it down. I really appreciate a historical fiction that doesn't... push contemporary values onto the characters, but goes "yeah this is what people felt and thought at the time". Like this character is going to be on board with footbinding, and be upset that she had daughters, and it's wonderful! The other candidate for top book of the month.

Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld - "what if SNL romance?" A female comedy writer for not-SNL falls in love with a musician who guest-hosts. The story is divided into two parts; their first meeting, and then their reunion during COVID isolation times. The first part is fun; a quirky little meet-cute odd couple thing. And then... uh, the separation is kind of random and I don't like the 2020 section as much. It's... fine? But I enjoyed it less than the first part, and often felt like the characters were having the same conversations over and over again. But still enjoyable and fun if you enjoy an m/f contemporary novel.

[90363462]

Steamy Sex Movies Shows Netflix Hulu Amazon Prime - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty

xoStaffSep. 29, 2021 04:00PM EST

Looking for something that makes you throb in all the right places, sans the guilt? We've got a list for you! When it comes to the explicit shows to stream, we've realized the plot is just as important as the nudity. You need to be properly teased, seduced, and entertained if you will by the stream-worthy shows and films tantalizing you on screen. Streaming platforms like Amazon Prime, Netflix, Starz, HBO Max, and Hulu have a lot of movies and TV shows to watch, but which ones are the sexiest to watch?

Keep scrolling for TV series and films to stream that are basically porn, without sacrificing your viewing pleasure. 

The Handmaiden (2016)

A South Korean film released in 2016, The Handmaiden puts the "erotic" in erotic thriller. In the film, a con man, with plans to marry a Japanese heiress to steal her fortune and have her committed, hires a pick-pocket to help him do his bidding. However, things get complicated when the "handmaiden" becomes romantically entangled with the heiress herself. Sex and seduction no doubt ensues. 

Where to Watch:Amazon Prime

Premature (2019)

Summertime is the season for new love and this is portrayed poetically in this 2019 film. A love affair blooms between a music producer and a poet. The Harlem backdrop is poignant and their romance is just as hot as the actors portraying the lovebirds navigating the ups and downs of a budding relationship.

Where to Watch:Hulu

Sex/Life (2021)

Speaking of sex life, the title of this Netflix series says it all. Sex/Life follows a woman struggling with accepting her reality as a stay-at-home mom-of-two as the nostalgia of her younger years having amazing sex with a bad boy old flame come flooding back to her. Things become even trickier when her former beau returns into her present, shaking up her life and marriage with her husband. And can I just say... episode 3?? Netflix recently reported that 20 million viewers replayed it just to see Adam Demos showing us what he's working with. You've been warned.

Where to Watch: Netflix

The Voyeurs (2021)

What happens when your desire to partake in voyeurism reaches killer heights? The Voyeurs is a 2021 film that centers on a young couple played by Sydney Sweeney (Euphoria) and Justice Smith (All the Bright Places). The Amazon Original plays with the idea of peeking into another couple's sex life, the obsession and the temptation around voyeurism, and the deadly consequences that may follow.

Where to Watch:Amazon Prime

Bridgerton (2020-)

With how this cast got done in the 1800s, we couldn't not include Bridgerton as one of the entries in this list. The hit Netflix series (Shonda Rhimes' first offering in her deal with the media juggernaut) follows the elite social circle of high society members and their affairs. You'll come for Regé-Jean Page, but you'll stay for the trysts.

Where to Watch:Netflix, of course.

Run the World (2021-)

Starz has been keeping the streaming streets hot with content that is explicit but doesn't sacrifice plot for porn. Tastefully done and beautifully executed is how you can describe the sex scenes shown in the recently renewedseries Run the World. The series follows four girlfriends and their love lives in Harlem as well as their friendships with each other.

Where to Watch:Starz App

Insecure (2016-)

Speaking of Black women navigating their love lives and showing that we too are sexual beings unapologetically, we'd be remiss not to include the GIF-worthy event that is Insecure. The series returns for its fifth and final season in October and we can't wait to see what Issa Rae and friends has in store for us.

Where to Watch:HBO Max, Amazon Prime

Adore (2013)

Adore is an Australian film that stars Naomi Watts and Robin Wright as two best friends who fall in love and have sexual relationships with each other's sons. What begins as a teenage tryst spans over a course of decades, interfering with the young men's ability to have fruitful relationships with women their own ages. What could be complicated by that? The cinematography, score, scenery, and sexcapades are what makes this one a must-watch.

Where to Watch:Amazon Prime

Euphoria (2020-)

Euphoria focuses on a cast of adults playing high school kids, yes, but there's no denying that Euphoria has a plethora of sex scenes (and a fire soundtrack and editor) that makes some of these scenes hit different than most. The Zendaya-led HBO series goes there with topics like acceptance, abuse, sexuality, and more. 

Where to Watch:HBO Max, Amazon Prime

Below Her Mouth (2016)

Jasmine is engaged. Dallas doesn't care. As a fashion editor minding her business and living her life, Jasmine never expected to meet anyone like Dallas, whose confidence reels her in more than anything else. What ensues is a forbidden affair between two women, which may or may not prove to be an eye-opener about what each of the women actually need in their lives. 

Where to Watch:Google Play, Amazon Prime

The Sinner (2017-)

Although, it's a crime drama more than anything, I can certainly vouch for the explicit scenes of the first season in the hit anthology series. Entitled "Cora," Jessica Biel is a force on the screen. And before everything is turned upside down, she manages to let her freak flag fly in a number of NSFW scenes. We were more than here for it.

Where to Watch:Netflix

Obsession (2015)

I'm all for a good affair story, mainly because movies like Unfaithful made me realize how rich and filled with erotic opportunities the topic is filled with. There's something about the secrecy. In Obsession (also called, Rendez-Vous), the film follows a woman who has made an B&B in France after inheriting a house. She moves there with her family in tow. Shortly thereafter, she meets a younger, handsome man whose presence threatens the life she's made at home with her husband and kids. But sis doesn't care, she's tempted by what's forbidden.

Where to Watch:Amazon Prime

Gypsy (2017)

Naomi Watts stars in this Netflix original as a therapist that finds herself spiraling as she erases the thin line between professional and personal with some of her clients. Nothing tastes more delicious than the things you're not supposed to have.

Where to Watch: Netflix

Newness (2017)

In a hook-up crazed culture, it can be hard to compete with "new." A young couple decide to play with the idea of expanding their boundaries to keep up with wanting to experience new people sexually while being in a relationship. Sometimes trying something or someone new isn't worth the risk.

Where to Watch: Amazon Prime

28 Hotel Rooms (2012)

What begins as a night of passionate sex, two people find it hard to not want more. Instead of leaving each other behind one night in a hotel room, an accountant and a novelist maintain a steamy affair over a span of years. Doing so threatens to upend their everyday lives. 

Where to Watch:Amazon Prime

A Teacher (2013)

A high school teacher has a passionate affair with one of her students that quickly begins to spiral into an unhealthy obsession as the teacher realizes her fantasy for what they are isn't their reality.

Where to Watch: Hulu

You (2019)

Sure, it's more about an introspective man with homocidal tendencies, but at its center, there's love. And sex. Joe Goldberg is the manager of a bookstore with an unhealthy obsession with the women he falls for. So unhealthy that his obsessions become deadly. In the first season, there was Beck as the object of his desire. And by season two, there's Love. The popular thriller returns for its third season on October 15.

Where to Watch: Netflix 

Duck Butter (2018)

If you want unapologetic steamy sex scenes in a film, look no further than Duck Butter. The Alia Shawkat-starring film centers on two women who haven't had a lot of luck in love and seek to put their relationship on the fast track. They make a pact to have sex every hour for 24 hours, uninterrupted. Spoiler alert: the sexual intimate experiment isn't what the two strangers thought it would be.

Where to Watch:Amazon Prime

Monogamy (2010)

Lust and jealousy creates this unconscious uncoupling between the two lovebirds in this film. A Brooklyn photographer becomes smitten with one of his clients that hires him for his services. The pair played by Rashida Jones and Chris Messina fall for each other, but their love affair quickly unravels as reality sets in.

Where to Watch: Hulu

The L Word (2004-2009)

Groundbreaking for its time, it's hard to think of The L Word and the incredible sex scenes not to come to mind. The provocative series follows a group of friends in LA each navigating their own love and lust lives. What is interesting is the sexual fluidity of the cast of characters that include lesbians and bisexual women. The sex scenes are Hot with a capital "h."

Where to Watch: Amazon Prime, Showtime

The United States vs. Billie Holiday (2021)

The Lee Daniels-helmed films The United States vs. Billie Holiday chronicles the time during the blues singer's career when the United States sought to make her the face of their efforts to racialize their war on drugs. Her song "Strange Fruit" was seen as a threat and Billie had to make decisions of whether she should sing or allow herself to be silenced. Aside from the controversies and the sometimes heavy imagery, Trevante Rhodes and Andra Day's chemistry sizzled.

Where to Watch: Hulu

Lovecraft Country (2020)

Lovecraft Country's cancellation was met with much controversy. The 2020 horror drama series didn't make it past its inaugural season but its impact remains felt in television. Jurnee Smollett and newcomer Jonathan Majors are solving a mystery in the 1950s on-screen, but the chemistry between the stars is ever-felt. Add a few memomorable sex scenes to the mix and this entry makes for an undeniable contender for this list.

Where to Watch:HBO Max, Amazon Prime

In the Cut (2003)

In a change of pace, Mark Ruffalo and Meg Ryan star in an erotic thriller centering around an English teacher who finds herself being questioned as a witness because of a dead body found near her home. The detective doing the questioning and her end up feeling a spark that eventually ignites an erotic awakening experienced by Ryan's character. What unfolds is sex, murder, and intrigue In the Cut. 

Where to Watch: Amazon Prime

Game of Thrones (2011-2019)

So a lot of Game of Thrones fans would throw away the entire last season if they could, but that doesn't negate the fact that the long-running HBO series had a plethora of litty sex scenes during its run. The fantasy drama isn't for everyone, but we're show the love scenes are.

Where to Watch:Hulu, Amazon Prime

Four Lovers (2010)

In this French film, the concept of being swingers is explored as two married couples decide to swap partners with each other for uninhibited sexual exploration. 

Where to Watch:Hulu

Featured image by Lovecraft Country via Tenor

[tarotlogy]

The Devil (XV)

Astrological Association – Capricorn – Cardinal sign of Earth.

The Devil makes his appearance rather suddenly after the peace and tranquility ofTemperance. What happened? Had we not learnt our lesson after the Death Card? Had we not gained personal insight and wisdom? Had we not realised the true value of worthwhile things in our life and discarded that which was useless and destructive?  It appears not.

When The Devil appears he has a powerful influence on some of us. He draws us to him with promises and glimpses of the good things in life and the spoils of the material world.  He lures us with offers of wine, women and song!  He laughs at the idea of a spiritual purpose or spiritual destiny. He prefers to live for today, take what he can get and to hell with the consequences. With the glittering guarantee of material gain and a conscience free life, he lures us onto his path and under his spell.

The Devil sits, half beast, half man, on a perch in a black room. He has the head of a horned goat. On top of his head rests an inverted five-pointed star, the Inverted Pentagram. The Upright Pentagram represents the five points of the body, the head, arms and legs. It also represents the Four Elements  along with a Fifth Element, that of Spirit. When it is upright the body is in balance and connected to spirit. When it inverts, the connection with spirit is lost and our animatistic nature and passions take control.

In front of The Devil stands the man and woman from The Lovers card. Each have a chain noose loosely hung around their neck. Both chains are attached to each other binding the couple together. The horns on their heads suggest that the innocence they once experienced in The Lovers has now being lost.  The Devil holds a blazing torch which he uses to ignite the animalistic nature of the man.

The Devil Card is one of control, illusion, deception and materialism. The Devil would have you believe that money can buy you everything such as friends, love, happiness, career, fancy houses, goods and cars.  He trades on dreams of ‘The Rock Star Lifestyle’. He lacks morals, principles and standards and encourages you to do the same.  The end justifies the means as far as The Devil is concerned.

The Devil leads us to believe that we have no choices in life, that we are stuck where we are, ‘better the devil you know than the devil you don’t’. He is constantly after material gain and rubs his hands in glee as he attracts many followers. With false promises and tempting offers his power is magnetic and his smile charming.  However,  once he has you hooked and reeled in,  his demeanour changes and from behind his back he pulls long lengths of heavy chain which he proceeds to coil into loops.  The chains look neither glittering nor comfortable as he casts them high above his head and hurls them about our necks.  Our feeble protests and disbelief about such restriction and confinement bring sneering snarls from his gaping mouth.  “You should have read the small print before signing on the dotted line” he jeers as he tightens his grip and tethers the chain fast and strong.  Before he leaves us in the dark he reminds us that we are now his, to do with as he chooses and that escape is futile.  The heavy cold chains rattle as we move reminding us every moment of our self-inflicted enslavement.

The Devil proceeds to indoctrinate you with his twisted propaganda, attitudes and beliefs.  His delight is to see you walk over everyone to get to the top of the career ladder, choosing partners for looks or money, but never for love (the trophy girlfriend or boyfriend!). He whispers lies and suggestions in your ear to make you angry or jealous. He tells you negative things about yourself and others. You will think that you have bought control of your life with all your things, your flashy car, your huge mortgage, your fancy clothes and holidays but that is only an illusion for it is The Devil who has control, and it is The Devil who wants to keep it that way. Having and getting, having and getting, constantly wanting more and more. He values no one who has a good heart or principles, for they bore him. He would not want such people around you either, for they might just remind you of the fact that at the end of your journey you must leave your worldly possessions behind you.

The chains around the man and woman are loose and they could free themselves if they wanted to but The Devil leads them to believe that they are trapped and that they have no options. They believe that they are better off where they are as life could be a lot worse. They think they have freedom but he controls their every move, their every thought and action. They may very well be miserable in themselves and long for meaning in their lives once more but are terrified of what they may have to give up. The  memories of their experiences in The Death card keep them where they are. Escape is impossible for they have bought into a certain way of life and how can they change it now?

We all know the feeling of desiring something we see in a shop or store. We think about it, dream about it and feel our lives won’t be complete until we get it. So we go get it and it brings all the promised dazzle and delight we imagined, that is, for all of two weeks before we are distracted by our next item of desire, and so the pattern of having, getting and instant gratification sets in, enslaving and controlling us.  We soon know the price of everything but the value of nothing.

The Devil seeks power and control over others and encourages discrimination, sexism and racism. He spreads suspicion and fear of anything that is different. The Devil is a very difficult influence to break away from. Neither the man nor woman are prepared to take responsibility for their predicament instead they blame others or each other for where they are.  Often we feel the need to blame others in our life and paint a dark picture of a mother or father, boss or boyfriend. We must remember not to relinquish control of our live to others or allow ourselves to be dominated or suppressed. We do have the ability to rise against this. We are the master of our own destiny  Just think about who it is you normally blame for all the wrongs in your life.  The Devil often highlights the shadow side of ourselves, the side we wish to hide and deny.

The Devil card along with the Knight of Pentacles represents the Sun Sign of Capricorn.  Capricorns are often overly concerned with the material world.

Money can be an overriding factor when The Devil appears. It can be all to do with money. This can go so far as relationships or marrying for money. We also touch on the more debase side of The Devil such as sexual perversion, sex for money, violence etc. Prostitution, pimps, vice, drugs etc are another aspect of The Devil. The Devil may have you inflicting pain or harm on others to get what you  want or for the sheer thrill and enjoyment of it.

The Devil represents a time when we feel blocked or trapped. When this happens we feel negative and pessimistic. These blocks may be made by others.  There are often dark forces at play in  your situation as somebody maybe working against you in the background to stymie whatever it is you are trying to do. You may be under psychic attack. Like the wax voodoo doll, someone maybe be jabbing pins in one resembling you.  It will take all your energy to stand up to this attack. Somehow or other you must regain your decency, your standards, your morals, your principles.

MEANING

When The Devil appears in a reading he may be suggesting that there is a lack of control in your life or you may be seeking to control life and those around you. You may be overly concerned with the material side of life.  You may feel trapped and powerless to change your situation or free yourself. Have you given your power away to someone else? You have the power to change if you will only believe it. Stop finding excuses for not changing your situation.  This is just an illusion set up to trap the weak and willful.

You may be constantly blaming others for your situation or making excuses as to why you can’t change things. However, someone may well be working against you. Look around and look beyond the smiles and friendliness, because someone may have it in for you.  Stay away from those that wish to bring you down or appear negative for it will rub off on you.

When The Devil is around, you may be found guilty of knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing. What is it that you don’t want to have to give up or say goodbye to? Is it really worth hanging on to? What positive things has this situation brought into your life? If you find it hard to find any or have to think about it for too long, then you must be honest with yourself and prepare to cut it loose. Time to say goodbye and free yourself.

You maybe obsessed with your career to the detriment of everything else. Money means everything to you. You may believe that you are no one without money or that you will get no respect. Do you have to buy your friends? Have you any real friends who would stand by you if the money dried up? Do you even have to buy your kid’s love? Is money the answer to everything in your life, the quick fixer for all problems?

The Devil can represent relationships without love, purely for money or gain. He can also represent sex without love. There can be jealousy and envy in a relationship. Control, dominance, violence or at the extreme, rape in the relationship. A relationship may have got stuck in a rut and is going nowhere.  It may all have become a  habit but those in the relationship believe that they have no way out. You may be accepting a bad situation out of fear of changing things. Is there a pattern of abuse in your life? Are you lusting after someone you shouldn’t? What or who is tempting you at the moment? Do you or others view you as a sinner?

It is essential that you remember the standards, principles and morals understood in the Temperance card to survive this influence. Save yourself before it is too late.

[triviareads]

Releases on March 28th

Summary:

Lady Gertrude is a pillar of the ton and stuck in an unhappy marriage. She wants to give her debutante daughter Delia more freedom on the marriage mart but her profligate husband has already decided on a spouse for their daughter. Said choice, Jasper Thorne, is the man who propositioned Tru before he knew she was his bride-to-be's mother... and it goes from there.

Some background:

Listen, I know Sophie. I love Sophie. I've read nearly everything Sophie's ever written. My favorites so far have been the books featuring the Langley sisters, the Debutante Files series, and of course her seminal masterpiece of a Texan ex-con series, Devil's Rock. They were hot. Which is why I was surprised that The Countess did not have the follow-through in terms of sex that I was expecting. Like, there were three chapters solely dedicated to Jasper propositioning Tru, not to mention both these characters are not virgins, so I was definitely expecting more time dedicated to sex.

The book I was most inclined to compare this to based on the premise was Sophie's The Scandal of it All, in which the heroine gets with her step-son's best friend. To me, the joke was that Graciela was suuuuper *scandalized* with herself for wanting someone six whole years younger than her. I thought the age gap was negligible at the time so when I read the premise of The Countess, I hoped the age gap would be greater as this is a mother and her daughter's suitor. But alas, it was only four years when I feel like it could have been... more. Like, we really could have sold the "older woman-younger man" thing here, but it didn't happen 🤷🏻‍♀️.

My review:

Tru and Jasper's chemistry was present right off the bat with their darkened garden encounter, and it grew into something true and honest regardless of them having to hide their attraction. Jasper was there for Tru in ways her husband never was. That being said, I finished this book, I couldn't help but feel that the ending was super abrupt and very deus ex machina in resolving loose ends. I'd seen Tru and Jasper's relationship developing, but it wasn't quite there, you know? Maybe a couple more clandestine encounters (yes that includes more sex), and a more firm realization of her love for him would have done the deal.

The sex:

What we did get in terms of sex almost felt like an afterthought— make no mistake it was well written (thought I do think the kissing scenes conveyed more passion), but none of them (two of them?) were particularly noteworthy. There was a scene where parlor games were practically (unwittingly) foreplay, which I wholeheartedly approve of. I feel like people forget parlor games with kissing were A Thing back in the day, which is unfortunate, especially consider the potential of games called "Kiss the Candlestick".

Review (continued):

I think the problem was that there was way too much time devoted to just how *dastardly* Tru's husband was. She could easily have removed excess passages on how much of a drunk, lecher, glutton, terrible father, etc. he was in order to focus on our actual love interest, Jasper. Additionally, there were a lot of POVs outside Tru and Jasper's. I think Sophie wanted to introduce the full cast of characters, especially those who will be featured in upcoming books, but that came at the cost of somewhat neglecting her main couple.

Outside the romance, I did appreciate the focus on female friendship. It's similar to what I said about Sabrina Jeffries' upcoming book, except in this case, it's friendship between a bunch of disenchanted older women— which is fun. The sneak-peak into the next heroine's book definitely seems fun. Between Joanna Shupe's Fifth Avenue Rebel series, and Vivienne Lorret's Mating Habits of Scoundrels series, I think this is becoming something of a trend, and definitely one I can get behind.

Overall, I did expect more from Sophie in terms of romance and the sex, but I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt for this series as a whole.

Thank you to Avon and Harper Voyager and NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my review.