#found out today that a family member knows about this account and has been seeing all the cringe I post for like two years

[benisasoftboi]

I observe with genuine love.

[maymeteorite]

the astral express family as a unit is SO important to me.

starting with the trailblazer. confused, used, and hardly remembers anything about who they were before. the stellaron in their body is essentially a ticking time bomb. the personal fear that comes with that is already immense, and that's not even taking into account other people's perceptions. but they were accepted, immediately, stellaron and all. they aren't feared, they're loved. instead of others being protected from them, they're protected from others.

dan heng. scared, lost, and without a home to return to. his past tainted every step he took on the xianzhou, and despite the events of the main story, he's still working through how other people see him, as well as how he sees himself. he's never truly been SEEN before, not as dan heng over dan feng. but he's finally been given a place of acceptance. people who love him as he is, with no attachment to his past self. he's found not only a home that he can always go back to, but a home he WANTS to go back to.

march 7th. the girl who doesn't even remember her own name. we as people are shaped by our memories and out pasts. how can someone so young cope with the great unknown constantly looming over her head? companionship. compassion. the promise that no matter what that unknown brings, she is no longer alone. a hand to hold in the darkness, to guide her through the worst that the universe can bring.

welt yang. loss and grief have shaped the person he is today. the threat of the honkai means the constant fear and application of losing the people most important to you. to have a family in the world of the honkai is just about the most dangerous thing you can do, and he knows this firsthand. his memory is not tampered with, but rather incredibly clear. he was a child when his life was overridden by duty, and that duty is something he refuses to let go of, even now. but these people don't see his duty when they look at him. they don't see the herrscher of reason. they see mr. yang, the ever-reliable, slightly ancient, kind member of the crew.

himeko. everyone on the express will come and go, and the life of a nameless is an inherently lonely one. attachments cannot be too severe, lest severing them ends up destroying her. but here she is, with all her knowledge, loving these people anyway.

memory and acceptance are both key themes with the entire express crew. not just past memory, but the creation of new memories. better memories. the express is a place where who you are is inconsequential, and all that matters is that you're safe now. you're loved now. and you will be loved, no matter what happens. no matter what you do, say, or choose.

and something so constant is the glue that holds this group together. not only that, but something they all desperately need.

the trailblazer, young, confused, and scared, needs something to remind them that they aren't alone. something to latch onto, something to cling to that grounds them through the turmoil of hosting a stellaron. dan heng, the greatest criminal of the vidyadhara, needs something to remind him that there is hope. that his life will not always be weighed down by the mistakes of his predecessor, and that there are people out there who love HIM, just as he is, with no fine print or strings attached. march 7th, with nothing behind her, needs something ahead of her. something real, something concrete, something or someone that she can tangibly see, feel, and hold. the uncertainty and unknown hang over her head like a cloud, but that darkness feels much less scary when someone can hold her hand and tell her she's not alone anymore. welt yang, who's lived so long, been through so much, and lost so many, needs a new beginning. not that he's leaving behind the ties he has left, but forging new ones, with absolutely no strings attached to the identity of the herrscher of reason. think about why he never mentions his past in full; obviously for a multitude of reasons, one of which the subconscious desire for a life untainted by the honkai. and himeko, who left everything behind for her dreams, needs people different than her. something new. like-minded people follow the same principles; fulfill their life's purpose, and exit the express. however, in the midst of all that, she's gained more than colleagues, more than nameless, more than fleeting images of friends long gone. she's gained the unconditional love of a family.

and that's not even getting into the dynamic between just welt and himeko. the fact that himeko always feels alone, and then there's welt, who travelled the very cosmos just to protect the life of a former student he feels like he failed. the fact that she likely has no idea of this fact, and assumes he'll leave the express and return to his "real" family someday, when in reality, the only reason he stepped foot on the express in the first place was FOR her. BECAUSE of her. to protect HER.

i'm gonna be honest, even though void archives hasn't made an official appearance yet, and their motivations are obviously skewed due to the fact that they're not technically human, i would fit them into this too. they were never intended to live their own life. their origins and their programming prevents that. destroy the honkai, above all else, no matter the cost. after millennia of being trapped by otto, their own identity, what little of it existed, slipped through their fingers. why do you think they hate being compared to him so much, despite adopting so many of his patterns and mannerisms? what they need is a life of their own. which connects so deeply with what welt needs, too.

and i'm just spitballing here, but i have a theory that part of the reason they left the express in the first place was because they were afraid of the comeraderie they found there interfering with the reason for their existence.

addendum; if the stellaron is in fact a manifestation of the honkai, i NEED to see how that changes the trailblazer's relationship with everyone. especially given the fact that void archives was created to eradicate every form of the honkai, no matter the cost....

anyway. all this to say. i love the express family so much.

[akookminsupporter]

Hi Rosie,

Coming to your blog with thoughts...

(I feel like your blog is a safe space for healthy discussions with more understanding that judgments)

I've been aware of Suga's situation since it happened because of Tumblr, Twitter, or Instagram.

I found out about Jimin and I keep up with his stuff, and since he is in BTS, I have been aware of the group as well, I like a few songs and the guys are cool and very talented. But because of the way I interact with their content vs. Jimin, I know I am not Army. I don't want to call myself PJM either, I just like Jimin, but for some people, I know that's what they would classify me as.

The reason I explained that is because I feel like the people who are solo followers and don't interact with BTS as a whole are judged in general instead as individuals. Since I like Jimin, I follow a lot of Jimin focus accounts. But I don't know it it's because I am following very good people or if it's because this is happening with all solo followers. But I feel like Suga is getting support even from solos.

Many criticize solos because they don't support BTS as a group, but I think everyone is entitled to their interest without being judged because that's what they enjoy. As long as they are respectful and not attacking the other members, then it should be fine.

I, as a Jimin focus person, for example, I've been feeling very concerned, angry, and sad about the situation with Suga.

Concerned about him because I know that he has experienced depression, and depression is tricky because some people live with it for life, they just learn how to live with it, and when bad things happen, it triggers the depression, and someone on a depressive state can do things that unfortunately they don't have control over. And God forbid the worst thing that can happen, does happen. There was an actor that the witch hunt that the Kmedia provoke ended up with him making a sad choice.

So, that concerns me very much.

Angry with Kmedia, like what in the actual F*ck!

I, like many international people that follow things from Korea, we get to know about stuff that are happening there. So, since I follow people from Korea, I get a lot of content from there. So there has been waaaaaaaay worse things than riding a scooter while having a few drinks before. Even I with not alcohol in my system could have fallen doing that turn, I am clumsy. But Kmedia, don't hunt down those that have done way worse things like they have been hunting down Suga. So that shows their true colors. And I hope that they face the consequences of that in the future with BTS and their media participation in Korea, once they all get out of the Military. I hope they get very picky and petty.

And ultimately, Sad. When I read the second apology today, I legit felt my heart shrink. Like that feeling you feel in your heart, literally when you get bad news. This whole situation is sad and frustrating. All I can think about is that I hope Suga starts to feel the support from his fans, his members, and family more than the hate he is getting. I hope he starts to feel better and understand that this was a mistake that he owned up to and that what is happening is not his fault, that is just an over reaction of the people that want to see him fall.

It is tough to come to those terms because the negative pressure right now is tremendous, and there is no way to escape that mentally. So I understand his feelings. Plus, for all BTS, the opinion in their country has more weight to them, that the international opinions. That's their country, their home, and their people. Anything internationally comes second to them. And anyone who says otherwise is just fooling themselves.

In conclusion, the whole point of this post was to say that solos are not the devil many paint them to be. There are bad solo people, but there are bad Army as well. And I wish more people understood that.

Hey, anon. How’ve you been? First off, sorry for taking a few days to post your ASK.

Now, I want to start by saying that I really appreciate you considering my blog as a place where you can share your opinions freely, even if they might not align with mine. That’s one of the biggest compliments anyone can give me here.

So, about your ASK.

I think it’s important to distinguish between a Solo Stan and a (Solo) fan. Even though some might not see the difference, it’s not the same thing, at least not to me. There are plenty of things that set them apart, and those differences matter.

A Solo Stan is toxic. Full stop. There’s nothing more to it. A Solo Stan is selfish, almost obsessive. They believe their fav is the only one who deserves to win, the only one who can do X or Y. These are the ones who, in order to make their fav the sole “winner” in everything, throw hate at others, including the bandmates of their fav – this is especially true in BTS’s case. Basically, a Solo Stan is a toxic person.

A (Solo) fan, on the other hand, is just that – a fan. Someone who likes an artist’s music vibes more with that person, and that’s it. Since BTS started the second chapter of their careers, this type of fan makes sense. Each member has been able to release their own music that identifies them as solo artists, attracting new fans who only know them individually. Some of these fans transition to listening to more of the group’s music, while others don’t, and that’s understandable. I’ve always said that art is subjective, and music is art. So, we all have different tastes and opinions.

One thing that sets a fan apart from a Stan is the respect for the other members, even if that respect comes in the form of indifference. I’d say that’s the biggest difference. And this is where you come in.

You’re a fan of Jimin, sure, but you’re empathetic enough to understand what Yoongi is going through. You’re empathetic and mature enough to feel pain, frustration, and maybe even anger about how the Korean press has handled the situation, and at no point have you taken pleasure in what he’s going through. You don’t blame him or wish him ill. You’re not toxic. That’s the difference.

I can’t speak for everyone, but when I say I hate Solo Stans, I’m talking about the first group I mentioned. The selfish ones, the ones with hero and villain complexes, the ones who project a victim complex onto their favs, the ones who ignore what their own favs say and disrespect their wishes.

[kash-the-krashout]

tw : breakdown // vent session // sa - mention

background info so everything else makes sense

my boyfriend (he’s amazing and i love him dearly.) is a paramedic and a firefighter. so his work schedule is basically 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off.

one of my best friends(i only have 2) has an older brother who is 24. i always spend the night at her house because i mean why not?

1. i’m gay.

2. we’ve known each other since we were 2. (my dads are both trauma charge nurses and her adopted parents are police officers so they work real close with each other constantly.)

3. she’s 16, i’m 17. we’re 2 weeks apart her birthday is actually friday. mine is 11/4 hers is 11/15.

4. my dads are in the process of pressing charges on a family member for sa-ing me . for the past 7 years.

5. i got grounded last month because they found my twitter account and it was pure sh related. ill make another vent post about that.

the actual vent :

okay, i posted a video of myself on snap, not doing anything sexual or anything wrong. i was singing teenagers by MCR. like mouthing the words. and my best friends older brother added me, i wasn’t thinking anything of it because we’ve been friends for 15 years. our families are hella close all of the above so him adding me on snap wasn’t a red flag.

he ends up sliding up on my snap, again i’m not thinking anything of it because why would i? and i open the message and he’s basically like “😍😍😍” and i ignored it because maybe he was clicking through the stories and meant to slide up on someone else’s idk.

then he comes back and he’s like “you’ve always been so perfect to me. i hate seeing you with Amir (my boyfriend) I should’ve spoken up. you’ve grown up to be such an amazing person and the more i look at you the more i want you and the more i can’t get you off of my mind” so i start FREAKING OUT. i’m like wtf? so i didn’t know what else to do so i texted my dad. (screenshot below i crossed out names for obvious reasons)

and honestly.. my dads response made me feel so much better about telling him because of how fast he was willing to go to bat for me. but .. then of course my mind for the best of me and i started feeling like i was causing him and my other dad nothing but pain. literally the family member situation and now this like damn? so i went to them and basically broke completely down and told them i was sorry for idk being like an easy target and all the stress is my fault it was a lot . and they reassured me and basically told me like im not doing anything wrong and you know dad stuff.

normally while my bf is on shift he doesn’t check his phone until night time or if they have a dead zone (no calls coming in) so i send him messages basically keeping him up to date and venting and just idk it helps me cope with him not being around. so i texted my boyfriend everything that happened and ended up crying myself to sleep in my dads room.

well my boyfriend got a break today and came to see me, and it made me feel so loved because i literally couldn’t deal. and i ended up retelling him everything i texted him and of course i got emotional and almost had the worst anxiety attack. it was just a lot .

but hey.. i’m 4 days clean from sh. and even though the situation is being handled i feel like i still should i want too so bad but literally my support system has done so much to make me comfortable id feel like shit even more if i did.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Hey there BMT

Happy new year

So...after today's Tae Wlive...I was left feeling a bit confused

Okay to be honest...ever since the solo chapter two era began...I deleted my twitter account and it has been one of the best decisions I made...but in my journey as an Army...Tae has always rubbed me the wrong way and I couldn't really pinpoint what exactly it was about him because when you first come into this fandom it is ot7 kumbaya all the time....so I can't help but realize Tae doesn't like being left out on being in the spotlight...he is someone who seems to know what goes on in the fandom like how most of his solo stans are shippers of him and the maknae...and how said shippers are one of the biggest reasons this fandom is going to shit and how they portray he's supposed soulmate..so...it's how he always comes online when one of the other members is on the spotlight for some reason and he feels the need to name drop the maknae..like today...he comes on for two minutes,comes back and mentions how he is with the maknae and friends but he decided to do the live cause he was bored...plus I found it a bit weird how he didn't mention Jihope being in Paris....considering he likes fashion...something so big and new and exciting for his bandmates,his family,friends...but instead go on and just rally up his psycho cult by adding innuendos with strawberries and "pineapples?"....and I'm just wondering JK couldn't even pop in his head for a second to say hi but then I sit down and remember he likes to lie?troll?be funny? So many narratives to explain away his behaviour....anyways...what was the purpose of all this....you are one of the bangtan fans who is so level headed and I wanted to know if I'm just tripping..

Have an amazing day/night

Alright, I think it's time for a real talk here. I'm not going to mince my words because I don't care what anyone says. I'm no Army, you all know where I stand, so let's fucking go.

This fandom is made of butthurt, two-faced, kumbaya, fruity bangtan-lover people who are rarely able to show some spine because they're too afraid of losing their clout on twitter and their followers on tumblr. They're so programmned to believe that a bunch of seven men are the epitome of perfection, unable to do something even worthy of mentioning any type of criticism because they all live in this fairytale-like world. They are super human, incapable of actions and emotions that govern the daily lives of us, the inferior human race. Well guess what? Believing it doesn't make it real.

We can like nasty people and we can dislike them for the same damn reasons. We can dislike nice people and we can love those good people all the same. And guess what? BTS are people. Tae is one of them. Rm is one of them. Jimin. Yoongi and so on. And we can like BTS, while at the same time, not like some of the things they say or do. It's not the end of the world, the sky won't fall on us. Just as we have complex emotions and reactions towards the people in our own lives and towards our own self. I know I'm seen as some Tae/RM anti. Unfortunately for those people, I can never give them the satisfaction because I don't have a ''hate Tae today and talk shit about him'' on my to-do list every day. And they can say I'm biased and I only care about two people in BTS and I see them as perfect and I get frustrated when someone else talks shit about them. Yeah dude, I do care only about two of them. There ya go. The Earth is still spinning. And you know what? I can dislike stuff about them too.

I don't like Jimin treating the fandom as if they're all kids and even going as far as to cover a damn photo on a hotel wall. It's stupid and it won't help and he's part of the problem. I once thought that Jungkook is going to do something more artistic in the future because I saw the potential after My Time, but for now, all he did was confirm how damn basic he is from an artistic pov. I think he made a wrong decision making that song for the World Cup in Qatar and it shows that money comes first. I don't like RM because he's pretentious as fuck. I don't like Hobi because he's too damn loud and as a fan, I couldn't give a flying fuck about his presence at FW or what brand deals he gets. I think Jin is severely out of touch and money does that to you.I think Tae is insecure for no fucking damn reason, but he is. I think Yoongi can be so damn insensitive sometimes and he doesn't know when to shut up. And, for the sake of inclusivity and fairness, I'll add myself too in this dislike fest (not that I'm some world superstar and I have no fans, but you know what I mean).I am a selfish bitch that tends to ghost people. I have ex-friends that probably hate me and I don't blame them.

What does all this mean? That my opinions are facts? That the aspects I've mentioned reflect someone's entire being? That when I look at Hobi, all I see is an obnoxius loud guy? No. Of course not. He's not just that because none of us are only one thing. Layers, people. As simple as that. And if I or anyone else ends up thinking that Tae is insecure and doesn't like being left out, then so be it. Just as I mentioned all that stuff that I personally don't like, there are many more reasons that still make me enjoy them. They're not horrible people worthy of being burned at the stake. But one bad word and this fandom acts like that's exactly what one means when they are not a fan of a BTS member. Then they jump to call people antis, bitches, cunt whores and every other insult. Because that's certainly nicer that any sort of criticism made towards BTS, but it's an acceptable and desired form of bullying. If this was twitter or perhaps my inbox after this text is posted, some will jump and say that Tae would burn me to keep himself and JK warm. Oh no, I'm about to cry and do my penance and apply 30 lashes on my naked body.

Everything is so absurd and every day when I go on twitter and come here, I'm taking the bad pill on purpose so I can enter this alternative reality. And I accept that, I made my bed. But I'm also not going to be some sheep that parrots whatever this fandom deems acceptable.

So yes, anon. I don't blame you for thinking this. Yes, it does seem to look like a pattern. Why? I don't fucking know. Why doesn't it seem genuine? Because there's a history of lying for no damn reason. No one in their right mind should be upset that he's hanging out with his bandmate (be it in person or playing online games). That's not the problem here. It's just that it has become such a habit of only him doing this one-side whatever the fuck he is trying to do, that I had a bunch of people in my inbox from one-two weeks ago saying that this exact thing will happen at the right moment. And it did. I say we should place some bets next time. It will be more fun.

Why does he suffer from a bad case of mimetic desire? Is it needed? Not from an outsider pov, but I have no idea what insecurities Tae has. Except from that time he told Jungkook during their ITS talk that he uses weverse to get some love from fans because he was indeed insecure at that time. So, that tells you something. Which means, it's not completely out of the realm of all possibilities that some of the stuff he does can be on purpose. I'm glad I'm not a Tae stan or some ot7 army cause I would feel kinda shitty seeing Tae's attitude towards his fans. He laughts at them on Weverse while they believe they're laughing together. Look at how the others are using a live stream to connect with the fans they so much love, while he uses that because he's bored for 5 minutes. What is he? A teenage girl that gets bored after the guys come over? Is this high school? I didn't know he's some 16 year old cause at least his behavior would make more sense. But his fans thinks this is cool behavior, except he's a rebel without any cause that makes threats when the Paradise heir gets dragged in a scandal and other times he's keeping his mouth shut. Anyway......

And if we're dropping names (which doesn't happen just with JK, it's only that he's the main character lately) and if JK was there too, why couldn't he just give a shout and call him to say hi to his beloved fans? No one would think it's weird. We have footage of all the group hanging out together for years everywhere. Either tell him to shut up cause he's about to be live and doesn't want anyone to know, or actually do something? Cause this is what I don't get? Making situations be odd when it's not necessary. Now, it's not confirmed that JK is actually there, it could be just a theory and people having bad hearing and apparently Jungkook can sing like shit sometimes. We don't know.

And I don't want to hear anyone saying he doesn't know his stans and his shippers. First of all, they all do and second of all, he's on damn twitter and there's evidence of that. No, he doesn't have to call out his fans, but why rile them up? But then again, all of them are like that, so there's no escape.

Tae doesn't need to go live and talk about Paris Fashion Week and what his bandmates did. He's not the news so he can cover all the events that are happening. But the timing...like clockwork, every single time. Sometimes it's during and sometimes immediately after. Now he waited a day. Good for him, he's being considerate. If anyone would have to patience to look at the bts archive for the last half of year, I bet the pattern is more easily recognizable.

The point to all this and I'm going to end this post cause it got way too long, celebrities (that includes BTS) are people like everyone else. They put themselves in the public eye which means that everyone else watching them is bound to draw conclusions. Some are favorable and others are not. And saying that Tae seems to want some spotlight and he's not very nice sometimes is not a smear campaign. Whoever believes that, get a life. You have no idea what that means. But this fandom distorts all sense of reality and the actual meaning of words.

People can like Tae for exactly the same reasons I don't. I wish he would be an actual bad boy. That would make him at least interesting. I like shitty people. I like nice people who do shitty things. I like people who are considered persona non grata. So what? So if his fans like Tae for who he is, then absolutely fine. But then I can also say that I don't. That's the basics of all of this.

And one last thought. I can't truly take someone seriously or argue with them in some weird act of defending men. I value myself a bit more than that. So whoever wants to be an Army on a high horse and call me names, you can take them and shove them.

Happy New Year, Anon!

[gingerjunhan]

🧈 anon back again, and omg I loveddd the last one.

Kinda similar to the last request, but do you have any headcanons for all of xdinary heroes together taking a teenage trainee under their wing and being their biggest advocate

Like xdinary heroes is basically the readers family since they're international and have no family in Korea?

Sorry if that was alot lol, these guys are just so comforting

Please and thank you!

☆彡 I really love this idea 🧈anon. I think this low key “found family” thing you’ve got going on is really sweet! Sorry this one took longer than usual to get back to you. Hope you enjoy :)

word count: 648 (about 150 each) | pronouns used: none | genre: platonic fluff, found family? | cws: mentions of eating w/ Jungsu, not proofread

To find Gunil and Jun Han, click here!

If Gunil is going Dad Mode™️ then you already know that Jungsu is going Mom Mode™️. He checks in on you constantly, making sure you’re well taken care of.

“Did you eat yet today? Do you want me to order you something? You can gladly eat with us if you’d like!”

Mama bear Jungsu is so so proud of you at all times. He watches you learn and grow as an idol from a distance- trying not to interfere too much- and he can’t believe how quickly you’re making progress! He’s one of the first people who wants to hear about your accomplishments, and he makes sure to celebrate for you and your group and remind you all how great of a job you’re doing. Granted, he worries about you a lot, but you’re young! He would feel like he was an older brother to you, so he would always be willing to support you or stand up for you.

☆

Gaon is one of the members who makes sure you remember to take breaks. Are you free this weekend? Perfect, the guys are taking you to a movie. Need to destress? How about some video games? Gaon is here to make sure you remember that learning to be an idol can be hard, but it can also be lots of fun. If you’re stopping by during a practice, Gaon rallies you, Jooyeon, and Jun Han to have jam sessions.

“C’mon, (Y/N), join us! Strings only jam session! We might try to learn a new cover!”

Gaon would host game nights frequently, always making sure to invite you (and probably your band mates) in case you needed out of your dorm or needed a break from work. He’s a firm believer in an equal work and play balance.

☆

Protective, protective, protective!!! I am such a sucker for protective Seungmin, and you can’t tell me that he would be super protective of the young idols he takes under his wing. He has wonderful intentions, but he can take it too far. If you make a new friend he will absolutely try to find out everything he can about them to make sure they’re a good person. He would totally act as your personal security guard in public too.

“Woah, do you see that guy over there? He was totally looking at you. I better go teach him a lesson-“

Okay so he wouldn’t actually teach anyone “a lesson” but he would definitely be handing out evil glares led and right. I feel like Ode would also protect you from haters on his secret Twitter account 💀 (He absolutely has one and you cannot convince me otherwise.) At the end of the day, Ose would be your number one defender.

☆

Jooyeon can absolutely relate to you and the situation you’re in. As the youngest of the group, he knows exactly what position you’re in. He got into the idol industry decently young- not as young as you- but he still knows what it’s like to be in your shoes. I can see him being the person who would want to help you the most. He would pass on lessons that his hyungs have taught him, things he’s learned himself, and things he wishes he knew when he was at the stage you’re currently at. He would agree with Gaon on having an equal work/ play balance, but he would also encourage you to work hard, encouraging a good work ethic. I can imagine that he might’ve struggled with this? So he wouldn’t want that for you.

“How have your practices been this week? Have you gotten a lot done?”

I can also imagine Jooyeon offering to help you write lyrics or bass lines if you ever needed a hand. Asking for help can be scary, and Jooyeon would want to feel comfortable turning to him whenever you might need it.

[hellmastermiller]

I’m sorry about your mom. As far as coping goes, I’m pretty emotionally stunted but here’s some (admittedly quite common) stuff I use which you’ve probably heard of:

Make a checklist of things you should/could do in a day to keep yourself from skipping out. It’s easy to just sink into the floor and not do anything, and the checklist hold you slightly accountable. Start off with more easily attainable daily goals (ex. today I will clean my desk) and then begin to add some things (ex. today I will clean my desk + bed).

Talk to people: they say this one helps the most, and I’m sure you know this. Think about how you’d feel talking to a stranger in a support group V.S a friend. If it sounds more appealing, you can take a step toward finding a free group/one you can afford. Hell, if you post this ask giving me the green light, I could even DM you if you’d like. We’re mutuals but we’ve never directly spoken

Know that maybe even a year from now, the grief can hit you in an unexpected way, and that’ll be okay. A close family member of mine died about 10 years ago and sometimes I wind up feeling sick with how much I miss them. I don’t think the feeling ever leaves, you just learn to sort of… accept that it’s there and always will be

And as everyone always says, be nice to yourself. Have a sweet treat. Try to go on a short walk around your block. Seek new emotional experiences— maybe go see a movie you’re excited about or rewatch one that you love. Pick up a hobby you haven’t recently indulged in and try it out again.

Grief is weird, and it sucks. But it’s natural and it’s okay to always feel a little bit sad over losing someone. I wish you nothing but the best.

thank u so much. i'm emotionally stunted asf too so the last three months has been absolutely crazy LMAO. i'll dump more dramatic stuff under the cut so ppl don't have 2 listen to my whining

but thank you. this means a lot to me, i'll fucking print this out n glue it to my screen to force myself to remember. feel free to dm me if you want, but only if you want to; i'll probably just bitch and sob and whine a lot, so don't feel pressured at all. listening to someone go on and on can be so mentally draining, but your offer means the world to me. thank u <3

but yeah, i heard that grief is just forever. i guess it's like mental illness in a way. it never goes away, but you learn to cope. i hope you have people there for you when you miss your family member.

TW DEATH!!! TALKING ABT DEATH1!!! SOIRRY!!!!

i was the one who found my mom dead so i feel like that just added another layer 2 the insanity. i forced myself to see her a few times before the cremation too, hoping it'll make everything click, but it's that adhd "out of sight out of mind" type beat. it makes grief so stupidly hard.

i've been the glue keeping my dad n bro together too. i still remember being the one to clean her fluids from the wall and the carpet while they sobbed and it was so fucked up. answering questions from the cops and paramedics. dealing with funeral arrangements.

my father and i found a fucking dent in the wall from where her head hit too. it's the fucking outside wall too, so she hit her head on it so fucking hard that the plaster came off. it breaks my heart. we had such a difficult relationship too so it just makes everything all the more painful. the regret is so real.

i found so much out about her too after she'd died. so many little things i could've used to talk to her, to bond, to help her. drives me up the fuckin' wall, man. makes me fucking crash out.

and not to sound like an idiot, but one of my guinea pigs fucking DIED like a few weeks after her too and it actually broke me LMAO. my mom bought those pigs, so to lose one of them just fucking shattered me.

even worse is that his brother doesn't give a shit, so i have one guinea pig who is absolutely thriving because he gets the entire room to himself now. (for anyone who knows my guinea pigs, IT'S DAVID THAT DIED. ELI LIVED. rip solid snake :( )

[purplesurveys]

1673

What genre was the last song you listened to? Who provided the vocals? Can’t remember what song it was but it’s K-pop and it was BTS.

Is there a certain song you've been listening to a lot lately? Amygdala, Agust D. Fave track off the new album, even though I haven’t rewatched the music video since.

Who was the last person you congratulated or said "well done" to? What for? My teammates at work for powering through this deck we’ve had to work on and are scheduled to present this Monday.

Is there something everyone is talking about at the moment that you have no interest in? Anything about Taylor Swift; the news of her dating Matty Healy being the most recent news I’ve been hearing about.

What was the last show you watched an episode of? Seventeen’s One Fine Day -  13 Castaway Boys. I'm two episodes in and it’s been hilarious so far. Definitely harder to keep track of 13 members this time around hahaha but it’s a good watch nonetheless!

^And which character in that show do you relate to, or identify with most? I haven’t found a member I super relate to just yet but I do tend to look out for scenes with Vernon as he’s probably the closest to being my bias (if I had to have one for the group). The extroverts are also a delight to watch - from the episodes I’ve seen so far, that would be Cheol, Jeonghan, and Seungkwan.

Do you have any medical appointments coming up anytime soon? Does it count if I’m going to the dentist later to get my braces readjusted? Hahaha other than that I don’t have anything scheduled any time soon.

What was the last book you read, and what did you enjoy about it? I haven’t read anything recently. But speaking of books, I did place a preorder for what will apparently be BTS’ memoir which’ll be released on ARMY Day. That ought to bring me back to reading.

Do you say 'I love you' to anyone daily? Just the dogs.

Do you know of any celebrities that share your birthday? The late Elizabeth II is always the first one who comes to mind.

Do you have any accounts for social platforms that you no longer use? Yup, Snapchat is the main one.

How did you come up with your username for Bzoink? I never made an account for Bzoink even though I used to hang out there all the time hahaha.

Do you own any clothes with an image of an animal on them? Hmm, I don’t think so.

Look around the room - can you see anything that's yellow? Right now, no.

Do you know anyone named Vanessa? Tell me a little bit about this person. Hans’ sister-in-law. Idk anything about her other than the fact that she grew up and is currently living in Hong Kong.

What was the last movie that you saw for the first time? Decision to Leave. ^And what did you think of it? Plot wasn’t for me so I stopped watching halfway through. Cinematography is out of this world though, super beautiful. Who was the last person that asked to borrow something of yours? My mom.

^What was it? My TV. Transferred it downstairs last Sunday for a family reunion in case anyone wanted to watch something.

Do you ever drink any fruit or herbal teas? What kind(s) do you like? I don’t drink either.

Have you ever watched any of the Hammer horror films? No.

Have you heard anyone singing today, or has anyone sang in your presence? Other than myself, no.

What time will it be 2 hours from now? 5:07 AM holy shit I have to sleep lmao.

[dojae-huh]

Coming back w the link to the last ep of MIK (@jamgiz on X). The ending is kind of sweet haha.

Ep 6 https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=1qZB5p6QgQ7WkFOUgcp4aJKPGBDX2pAgX

Thank you for the review to the last 5 eps, I agree w you. Them feeling unwanted bcoz they don't get positive feedback reminds me of your comment on the last ep of Lastart. "You see, Riku realises he needs to fill in the shoes, that's why I like him, he is like Taeyong, he will improve relentlessly, some others don't feel the burden really...". The need to realize your role in the group & work on it, rather than focusing only on getting positive feedback as the goal.

Whether DA will last long: Aside from beating out the individualistic self, I also want to point out the motivation to join band like this. Idk much about the band culture in the West, I can only refer to what we know in Kpop; commonly being able to debut in ur group is the pride, the final dream (years being a trainee), long time commitment (TVXQ, Suju still active today), a name u want to protect (Haechan w NCT). Things might be different in non Kpop environment (contract as well)..

Hopefully they keep learning to be more as one group.

Link

Thank you for reminding me people actually read what I write, haha.

I've watched the last episode yesterday. And even watched an English morning show for kids DA guested at for promotion (where slime was thrown at Blaize). The show left an impression... not of a good kind, lol. So they truly follow the k-pop route, variety shows including. (I kind of enjoy how one hobby (stanning one group) kind of expands in different directions and conbines different experiences. The way I related to Doyoung saying salak from the jungles was tastier than from the shop. Still couldn't find fruits as sweet as the ones from Waigeo island. At least Malaysia had the right round kind. The ones in Thailand are not really edible fresh.)

I liked how Reese told Hee Jun Yoon "I'm a good boy, not a bad boy", when she hinted that they should do alright as a group unless they get into scandals. It was funny. Either the UK producer (that old man) or SM team made sure to take the character of trainees into account. Evidently the guys weren't picked at random only based on how they danced and sang during the initial screening of candiadates.

The boys won a golden ticket, were given private lessons, were treated with care, and still needed multiple lessons to show that they are too over their heads. They wouldn't last a month in a real Korean idol-survival show, heh. I suppose "lashing out" was out of self-protection. "I'm working all day and doing my best, it's not my fault!". Reese wasn't scolded much because he corrected what he was told to correct, not just "put in effort".

Looks like most of them are in the group to perform (two did musicals, one has been singing from childhood, one is a tiktoker), i.e. to be liked and to have fun. Some have musical education though, Maybe song-writing or producing will appear in the future.

DA can last if they develop real friendships. 10 years is highly unlikely, but even 5-7 years will be a good result. With Blaize it was evident he wanted a found family. He looks very different (open, not closed off) in the interviews now in comparison to the show. It's a joint production with SM, the company will continue to participate. SM needs success with them to replicate this formula.

Speaking of Riku. He is on a quest of shipping himself with Jaehee. Considering fans like Riku/Yushi, it is also a consious decision to work for the whole group (three pairs: Shion&Yushi, Riku&Jaehee, Ryo&Sakuya, and the least popular quiet member brought to the spotlight). Of course, Jaehee being a good sport and an enabling friend helps.

[oshikiri-toru]

hi. im back !!!!

i didnt have anything good to say and i've been in a mental slump for the past few weeks, but i think im good now pfft

ive also come to say:

WHAT THE FUCK ??????????? THE PHILLIES LOST. THEY LOST TO THE ATHLETICS 18-3 ??????

ive not been keeping track of the phils (obviously), and when i go up to my brother because he had just watched the highlights, he turns to me and just. he just says, "the phillies lost to the a's 18 to 3."

truly devasted 😔

but im still thinking hard about a baseball au oh my. @/forestshadow-ghoap made a post that i accidentally x'ed out of, but i bet it was good 😌

well. im going to skedaddle now. i fare thee well. drink your water and sleep well !!!

-🪱 (im too lazy to go on my other account. sigh.)

Hey worm anon! Great to have you back <3

I hope you're feeling okay. I've been in a big slump too, so I know how you feel. Rooting for you and wishing you the best <33

The Phillies loss was crazy lmao. They tried out a new pitcher (the young man they brought up from the minors) and he sorta choked that game. It got so bad they sent Stubbs out for the final inning :^/ That's why it was so high honestly. I think they got a grand slam and another run from that inning alone haha. They got some rest during the all-star break (and lost twice) but they're back!! 5 runs up today which was good to see, finally.

But since you've mentioned it 👀 I'm taking this as a chance to ramble endlessly about my baseball au ideas

Okay! So, in my head it starts as a normal season, maybe a few weeks in. Soap is the only one not on the team, a young hotshot making waves in AAA. When one (inconsequential) member of the team gets injured so they bring up Soap.

In the beginning, he's learning to take on the new position (maybe he was DH or another infield position before) and really bonds with Ghost as his pitcher. I also like the idea of his going to a cocky, young up and comer to learning to be a part of the team and a real superstar. Also, some found family vibes because yes :)

Some other things:

I like to think Soap is a fan favorite. He's hot, confident, and loves engaging with the fans. The umpires hate him (hes always fighting them), and other teams are annoyed by just how good he is and how unhumble he is about it.

Ghost is well loved in the city with a contract keeping him there for years to come. He's quiet and has no real social presence outside of baseball, but the fans find him charming. I also think he's big into charity, volunteering, and generally giving back to his city. I think he'd do a lot for addicts and poorer families :')

I think it would be so funny for it to be a "everyone thinks their dating while they are clueless" scenario. I'm talking videos of Soap falling asleep on Ghost in the dugout, him spending time in the bullpen when he's on the IL (the camera men were desperately searching for him), him being micd up just to hear him shamelessly flirting or joking with Ghost on the mound, interviewers asking them about their friendship and all their answer sounding suspicious as hell.

(bonus angst, maybe Soap plays into it to gain more attention before realizing he actually does like Ghost)

I have some ideas about the getting together but that comes with some spoilers on how I want it to end (it'll go up to the World Series obvi, with them against their mortal enemies. The Bristol Shadows)

Also. My favorite scene idea rn is an interviewer asking them where they got the nickname Soap for Johnny-

Soap: "Och, it's because I can't stop hitting it clean out of the park"

Ghost: "Actually it's because he ate the decorative soaps at a hotel once thinking it was candy."

[lgbtfriendlyplaces]

The Ultimate Guide to Finding LGBTQ-Friendly Merchants: A Free Resource for Inclusive Shopping

Shopping is a part of life. For many of us, it’s something we do every day — from groceries to clothes, sometimes it feels like we are spending more time shopping than actually doing the things we love. But for those in the LGBTQ+ community, shopping can be a daunting task. Not only do you have to worry about finding items you like and that fit well, but also about whether or not you will feel accepted by the merchants you are shopping with. That’s why we created this guide — to provide LGBTQ+ shoppers with a free resource for finding inclusive and friendly merchants. Here, we discuss why supporting LGBTQ-friendly businesses is important, and how to find them as well as tips and strategies on how to shop without fear of discrimination. Read on for everything you need to know LGBT friendly places!

What to Look for in an LGBTQ-Friendly Merchant

If you're looking for an free guide to lgbtq friendly merchants, there are a few things you should keep in mind. First, look for a merchant that has an inclusive policy when it comes to hiring and serving LGBTQ customers. Second, make sure the merchant is a member of an LGBTQ organization or has taken steps to support the community. Finally, check out the merchant's social media presence to see if they are active in promoting LGBTQ rights and visibility.

How You Can Support LGBTQ-Friendly Merchants in Your Community

The LGBTQ community has long been fighting for equality and acceptance, and in recent years, there has been a lot of progress made. However, there is still a long way to go. One way you can support your local LGBTQ community is by shopping at businesses that are inclusive and friendly to them.

Here are some tips for finding LGBTQ-friendly merchants in your community:

-Do some research online. A quick Google search will reveal a list of businesses in your area that support the LGBTQ community.

-Check out social media. Many businesses will advertise their support for the LGBTQ community on their social media accounts.

-Ask around. Talk to your friends, family, and co-workers to see if they know of any businesses that are supportive of the LGBTQ community.

Once you've found some LGBTQ-friendly merchants in your community, make an effort to patronize them as much as possible. This will show other businesses that there is a demand for inclusive products and services and help create a more welcoming environment for everyone.

Conclusion

Shopping has never been more inclusive thanks to the free resource for LGBTQ-friendly merchants. With this guide, you can learn about businesses that actively support and cater to members of the LGBTQ community, making it easier than ever before to find safe and friendly shopping experiences. Whether you’re looking for clothing stores, restaurants or travel agents – with this guide, you can be sure that your money is going towards supporting a much needed cause. So next time you go out shopping, why not take some extra steps in showing your support? Check out our list of LGBTQ-friendly merchants today!

[acrossthewavesoftime]

A Grave(s) in Berlin

Recently, I had the opportunity to visit the Sophienkirche in Berlin-Mitte, a hidden baroque treasure tucked away behind a row of grey 19th century houses whose walls still bear the scars of WW2.

Exterior of the Sophienkirche.

Those of you who have read my post on early modern ghost hunts will recall the fate of Sophie Luise zu Mecklenburg-Schwerin, third wife of Friedrich I., King in Prussia, from whom the church receives its name. At first, following her having been sent away from the Prussian court on account of an incident in which she, unaware of her surroundings due to her mental illness, had barged into her dying husband's bedroom covered in blood, the church was dubbed Spandauische Kirche according to its location in the Spandauer Vorstadt (Spandau Suburb) quarter. Curiously, Friedrich Wilhelm I., de facto stepson of Sophie Luise, had the name changed to its originally intended name Sophienkirche (Sophie's Church) a few years later.

Its tragic patron aside, the church can boast a few more celebrity connections: on 13 September 1964, Martin Luther King preached in the church on a surprise visit to East Berlin.

Interior of the Sophienkirche, viewed from the altar room.

But while I am always one for the particular charm of Prussian baroque architecture, another object of interest is located in the former churchyard.

The grave of Leopold (1795–1886) and Clara (1808-1871) von Ranke and their youngest son Albrecht (1849–1850) is easy to miss, seeing as it is located in a part of the former church grounds that has in recent history been converted into a playground for the church-owned kindergarten (am I a tad jealous that my run of the mill kindergarten did not have a playground with historic monuments in it? Absolutely.) and quite overgrown, which is a shame, considering the significance of Leopold and Clara.

Leopold von Ranke was a leading historian of the 19th century, often credited with shaping history as a scholarly discipline as we know it today and his wife Clara (Helena Clarissa, though she seems to have preferred the nickname Clara) was a leading salonnière in mid-19th century Berlin.

Having grown up academically in the shadow of Leopold, it is Clara who has captivated my interest. Helena Clarissa von Ranke, née Graves, was a member of the family I research and sometimes post about among the more light-hearted content. For those of you who do, suffice to say that Clara's great-great-grandfather Henry "Claymore" Graves and Admiral Samuel Graves's (the man around whom most of my research revolves) grandfather James John Graves were brothers.

Born in Dublin in 1808, Clara met Leopold von Ranke in Paris in July of 1843. They married the same year and moved to Berlin together, where the Rankes were renowned for their salon, visited by foreign and domestic intellectuals alike, two of the most famous of whom may have been the Brothers Grimm.

Historically, most of the historiography concerning the von Ranke family has mainly focussed on Leopold, and Leopold's work; which seems natural enough, given his importance to history as a modern academic discipline, but leaves out Clara's equally important role as her husband's equally academically-versed aide (among other things, she was competent in the use of 20 languages, half of whom she spoke fluently and sometimes did translations of Leopold's work into English) without whom a lot of his work would not have been quite so easily possible, an influential salonnière, and most importantly, a woman with literary ambitions (she was a poet, though found having her works published rather difficult), views and opinions on the politics of her time.

This is particularly vexing seeing as their granddaughter Ermentrude Bäcker-von Ranke was, according to different sources, either the first or second woman in Germany to study history and obtain a doctorate. Luckily, this changed in 2012 when Andreas Boldt's The Clarissa von Ranke Letters and the Ranke-Graves Correspondence 1843-1886 was published, allowing for a greater insight into Clara's everyday life as an integral and beloved part of the extended von Ranke family, her political opinions and friendships with influential people such as, to give only one example, Florence Nightingale.

While the Rankes were politically on a conservative spectrum in Germany, Clara maintained a keen interest in Irish politics and expressed her desire for a peaceful coexistence of Catholics and Protestants in the country.

The grave of Leopold and Clara von Ranke, viewed from a flowerbed on the other side of the fence.

I wish I could enclose a better picture of the von Ranke grave; alas, it now being situated in a kindergarten playground, there was no way to access it; a lovely lady who I believe was of the church's friend's association was however so kind as to, after checking for the keys to the gate and not finding them, give me the telephone number of the parish office, with whom a closer look at the grave might be arranged. A few pictures on Wikipedia indicate that they occasionally let people visit the premises, so I am hopeful that I might be lucky. Next time I am around, I might try and call them- stay tuned!

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x10 thoughts

GOOD GOD.

“No Weddings and a Funeral” is like being hungover but also coming out of a hangover. Having a terrible cold but also feeling better and appreciating every breath that comes through your nose. Embarking on an organizational project and accidentally falling into a photo album and crying about the pictures and organizing almost nothing tangible but making a few things more clear in your brain.

So much of this episode is about the AWFUL POINTLESSNESS OF DECORUM. How loud is too loud when you’re drinking stolen wine and shrieking about sex in a church right before your father’s funeral? How should you feel--thirty years later, as an accommodating, anger-averse person--about having been too angry to attend the funeral for your father who killed himself? What expression should you make when you show up really late to a different funeral? Why must you wear uncomfortable shoes just because someone died? What happens in your mind between standing up to give a eulogy for a man you’re still angry with and choosing to Rick Roll your mom and everyone else as an act of complicated love, humiliatingly incomplete until someone else starts to sing? Should you worry about your therapist seeing your normally tidy flat in a full-on state of depression mess? Is it okay to be offended that your boyfriend is so uncomfortable about death that he can’t stop making morbid jokes? Should you care about other people caring that you’re crunching an apple in church or squealing with joy to be reunited with a friend you’ve not seen in awhile? Are you obligated to explain your behavior if your kid doesn’t understand how you could stay with someone unfaithful? How far behind the counter should you sink when your [undefined relationship person]’s mother has just let you know she can see your dick through your underwear? Is a funeral reception an okay place to find a hookup? Is a funeral reception a decent spot for a break-up? Is a funeral reception a good time for a love confession when you know the person you’re confessing to is happy with someone else? And who do you make eye contact with when you can’t look directly at the person asking you if you’re okay when there’s so, so much about you she doesn’t know yet? Even if--for this tiny little moment within a vast swath of many okay and not-okay moments--you’re honest when you tell her that you are?

I fucking adored this episode because it answers all these questions very simply: Show up. Show up for yourself. Show up for your friends. Try not to harm yourself. Try not to harm your friends.

I love that this episode is about the messiness of adulthood and the things we bring with us from childhood and that it takes place partially in Rebecca’s childhood bedroom, and in Ted’s childhood memories. Dwelling in those places (whether physically or mentally) isn’t an automatic recipe for regression, but it does get everyone closer to the things that made them who they are, to the unresolved and half-buried parts of them that still make them tick today.

Forever obsessed with every single detail about Rebecca’s childhood bedroom.

Forever obsessed with Deborah’s decision to Rick Roll herself every single morning of her life.

Forever obsessed with Rebecca’s decision to Rick Roll her father’s funeral as a way to not have to make up a single word about her father and to do something very vulnerable and kind for herself and her mother and everyone.

Forever obsessed with Ted’s decision to Rick Roll Rebecca Rick Rolling her father’s funeral.

Forever obsessed with an entire found family backing it up.

I love that it is Isaac’s leadership that ensures every single member of the team attends the service for Paul.

I am very, very interested in Jamie’s love confession to Keeley because I do think it will spark some reflection in Keeley but I do not think it’ll go the cliched love triangle route.

Each scene with Rebecca and Sam struck (for me, a human being sharing a subjective perspective on the internet) the tender-awkward-beautiful-stressful chord I was hoping it would. I think it’s wonderful that Sam is honest with Rebecca about how difficult it is to keep their relationship a secret, and I love that Rebecca has a million mostly-unarticulated reasons for why she’d much prefer the secret to continue. I like that Sassy, Keeley, and Nora respond to the revelation as friends; they might be tempering their judgments in part because they’ve all gathered to bury Rebecca’s dad, but I don’t think their reactions would’ve been that different even on a happier occasion.

While there are a million and one different reasons why a continued relationship between Rebecca and Sam could cause serious ethical problems, I really love that when people share big news on this show, the people who care about them generally react by trying to see why the person is doing what they’re doing. Doesn’t mean they shouldn’t also hold each other accountable, but in my book it’s OK that Keeley’s first reaction was to feel happy that her friend is having some fun.

Also everyone has been making weird judgment calls this season, and this episode felt like a moment of real breakthroughs in terms of people telling the truth about things that happened to them and leaving themselves open to honest responses from others.

September 13, 1991. It’s so tenderly, beautifully, overwhelmingly meaningful that there’s still so much Ted and Rebecca don’t know about the things they have in common in these parallel lives they’re leading. The scene between Sarah Niles and Jason Sudeikis is so beautifully acted, and so is the scene between Hannah Waddingham and Harriet Walter. The way they intertwine to communicate that Ted and Rebecca basically lost the ability to trust their fathers simultaneously, from an ocean away? In the hands of lesser storytellers, it would feel too perfect a mirroring, but here it feels heartbreakingly imperfect. All the things they still don’t know. All the questions they try to ask each other. All the things they don’t dare ask yet. And then the storytellers are holding a candle up to all of it and letting the audience bask in the glow of this connection even if Ted and Rebecca can’t fully understand it yet.

I am so proud that Rebecca and Deborah were able to embark on the beginnings of a conversation about the ways Deborah and Paul’s relationship might have resembled or not resembled Rebecca and Rupert’s. It feels possible that they could get to a point where Rebecca truly internalizes her mother’s pride that she broke a cycle by leaving Rupert, and could maybe even understand why her mother made the choices she made. I love that in the final scene, they’re still relying on their old mother-daughter conversational patterns—the frustrations, the snippy shorthand, the passive-aggression. Mothers and daughters!

I am also proud that Ted—albeit via a joke about Sharon charging him for the house call—indicates that he understands the value of Sharon’s work. He’s changed a lot, all in realistic ways for someone who loves learning and really does want to meet people where they are and appreciate them. I’m very moved that instead of putting himself in a real harmful situation by showing up to the funeral on time at any cost, he did what he needed to do to take care of himself and accept care from someone else. And then Sharon’s suggestion that he think about things he loved about his father? And the way he’s able to share a positive memory of Rebecca’s own father at a time when she really needed it? Gosh.

Awkward, undecorous transition from 1991 to present-day incoming...but SASSY! She’s just, like, a whirling dervish of loyal friendship and not giving a fuck and penis size discussions and being casually, delightfully cruel to Rupert, who so deserves it. Rebecca was going on a real face journey when Sassy goes off with Ted at the end, and I’m sort of *eyes emoji* about all of that, but I continue to feel like Sassy is the most imperfectly wonderful friend-from-the-past kind of person and I love everything she and Nora get to do in this episode.

Keeley saying “That baby is whack” might be my favorite line in the episode? Maybe the whole show? Not really but really.

FUCK YOU, RUPERT. Bex and Diane, y’all are fine. And I truly feel for Nate...whatever scheme he’s getting suckered into. Whatever insecurity Rupert is preying on. I want Nate to go to therapy, too.

I feel like it was an unpopular opinion at the time, but I loved Rebecca’s 2x1 revelation about vulnerability and fear of getting hurt and needing to let someone love her. Sassy doesn’t always word things in the most nuanced way, but I think there’s a real possibility that she did ask Rebecca to really consider what it means to feel either safe or unsafe with a person but to know that in either circumstance, that person could end up causing her pain. Standing in that closet with Sam, managing to make it clear that she’s not asking for a break because she knows he will hurt her but because she has to figure out how to be with a wonderful person who could cause her pain...the growth, man. Makes me emotional.

I emerged from this episode feeling, of course, stunned by all the amazing parallels and revelations and beautiful acting and Rick Rolls and just, everything. I also emerged feeling sad/raw/tender because messiness and decorum and growth and coping mechanisms and death and dramatic irony and not knowing things about people and not knowing what you don’t know...it’s a sad, raw, tender place to be.

To quote a guy who got a whole sitcom (lol) named after him, life is real hard.

[writingwithcolor]

Space based story with prison camps: problematic parallels?

Trigger warnings:

Holocaust

Unethical Medical Experimentation (in the post and resources)

ivypool2005 asked:

I'm writing a sci-fi novel set on Mars in the 25th century. There are two countries on Mars: Country A, a hereditary dictatorship, and Country B, a democracy occupied by Country A after losing a war. Country A's government is secretly being puppeted by a company that is illegally testing experimental technology on children. On orders from the company, Country A is putting civilian children from Country B in prison camps, where the company can fake their deaths and experiment on them. (1/2)

My novel takes place in one of the prison camps. I am aware that this setting carries associations with various concentration camps in history. Specifically, I'm worried about the experimentation aspect, as I know traumatic medical experimentation occurred during the Holocaust. Is there anything I should avoid? How can I acknowledge the history while still keeping some fantasy/sci-fi distance from real experiences -- or is it a bad idea to try to straddle that fence at all? Thank you! (2/2)

We are far from being the only people to have suffered traumatic medical experiments.. 

--Shira

TW: Unethical Medical Experimentation (in the post, and all of the links)

Medical experimentation in history

Perhaps without intending to, you have posed an enormous question. 

I will start by saying that we, the Jewish people, are not the only group to have unethical, immoral, vicious experiments performed on our bodies.  Horrific experimentation has been conducted on Black people, on Indigenous people, on disabled people, on poor people of various backgrounds, on women, on queer people... the legacy of human cruelty is long. Here are some very surface-level sources for you, and anyone else interested to go through. Many, many more can be found.

General Wiki Article on Unethical Human Experimentation

US Specific Article  on Unethical Human Experimentation 

The early history of modern American Gynecology is largely comprised of absolutely inhumane experimentation, mostly on enslaved women (with some notable exceptions among Irish immigrant women)

An Article on Gynecological Experimentation on Enslaved Women

I  also recommend reading Medical Bondage by Deirdre Cooper Owens

The Tuskegee Experiment 

First Nations Children Denied Nutrition

Guatemala Syphilis Experiment

Unit 731

AZT Testing on Zimbabwean Women

Project MKUltra

Conversion Therapy

Medical Experiments on Prison Inmates 

Medical Interventions on Intersex Infants and Children

Again, these are only a few, of a tragic multitude of examples. 

While I don't feel comfortable saying, as a blanket statement, that stories like this should never be fictionalized, it feels important to emphasize the historicity of medical experimentation, and indeed, medical horrors. These things happened, in the real world, throughout history, and across the globe. 

The story of this kind of human experimentation is one of immense cruelty, and the complete denial of the humanity of others. Experimentation was done on unwilling subjects, with no real regard for their wellbeing, their physical pain, the trauma they would incur, the effect it would have on families, or on communities. These are stories, not of random, mythical "subjects," but of human beings. These were Black women, already suffering enslavement, who were medically tortured. These were Indigenous children, who were utterly powerless, denied nutrition, just to see what would happen. These were Black men, lied to about their own health, and sent home to infect their spouses, and denied treatment once it was available. These were Aboriginal Australians, forced to have unnecessary medical procedures, children given brutal gynecological exams, and medications that were untested.. These were inmates in US prisons, under the complete control of the state. These were prisoners of war. These were pregnant people, desperate to save their fetuses, lied to by doctors. These were also Jewish people, imprisoned, and brutalized as part of a systematic attempt to destroy us. 

The story of medical torture, of experimentation without any meaningful consent, of the removal of human dignity, and human rights, is so vast, and so long, there is no way to do it justice. It is a story about human beings, without agency, without rights, it's the story of doctors, scientists, and the inquisitive, looking right through a person, and seeing nothing but parts. This is not some vague plot point, or a curiosity to note in passing, it is a real, terrible thing that happened, and is still happening to actual human beings. I understand the draw, to want to write about the Worst of the Worst, the things that happen when people set aside kindness, and pick up cruelty, but this is not simply a device. This kind of torture cannot be used as authorial shorthand, to show who the real bad guys are. 

On writing this subject - research

If you want to write a fictional story that includes this kind of deep, abiding horror, you need to immerse yourself in it. You need to read about it, not only in secondhand accounts, and not only from people stating facts dispassionately. You need to seek out firsthand accounts, read whatever you can find, watch whatever videos you can find. You need to find works recounting these atrocities by the descendants, and community members of people who suffered. 

Then, when you have done that, you need to spend time reflecting, and actively working to recognize the humanity of the people this happened to, and continues to happen to. 

You have to recognize that getting a stamp of approval from three Jewish people on a single website would never be enough, and seek out multiple sensitivity readers who have personal, familial, or cultural experience with forced experimentation.

If that seems like a lot of work, or overkill, I beg you not to write this story. It's simply too important. 

-- Dierdra

If you study public health and sociology, it is often a given that the intersection of institutional power and marginalized populations produces extreme human rights abuses. This is not to say that such abuse should be treated as an inevitability, but rather to help us understand, as Dierdra says, how often we need to be aware of the risk of treating our fellow humans poorly. Much of modern medical history is the story of the unwilling sacrifices made by people unable to defend themselves from the powers that be. Whether we are talking about the poor residents of public hospitals in France during the 18th century whose bodies were used to advance anatomy and pathology, to vaccine testing in the 19th century, to mental asylum patients in the 20th century who endured isolation, lobotomies, colectomies and thorazine, one can easily see this pattern beyond the Holocaust. 

Even when we shift our focus away from abuse justified by “experimentation”, we have many such incidents of institutionalized state collusion in abuse that have made the news within the last 20 years with depressing regularity. Beyond the examples mentioned above, I offer border migrant detention centers and black sites for America, Xinjiang re-education sites and prisoner organ donation in China, Soviet gulags still in use in Russia, and North Korean forced labor camps (FLCs) for political prisoners as more current examples. I agree with Dierdra that these themes affect many people still alive today who have endured such abuses, and are enduring such abuses. 

More on proper research and resources

Given that you are going to be exploring a topic when the pain is still so fresh, so raw, I think you had better have something meaningful to say. Dierdra’s recommendation to immerse yourself in nonfiction primary sources is essential, but I think you will also want to brush up on many established works of dystopian fiction featuring themes relating to state institutions and the exploitation of vulnerable populations. While doing so, read about the authors and how the circumstances of their environments and time periods influenced their stories’ messages and themes. I further recommend that you do so both slowly and deliberately so you can both properly take in the information while also checking in with your own comfort. 

- Marika

[the-witches-you-couldnt-burn]

It started with a whisper

I originally wrote ‘Like I did with you’ as a one-shot but people wanted a sequel. This turned out to be waaaaay longer than expected (4.7k word count). Inspired by Everybody Talks by Neon Trees. I hope you lot enjoy!

Ao3

(Also this is Mari’s new outfit, all credits go to the original artist)

————

Two teens stood upon the balcony of a large banquet hall, exposed to the midsummer night air. The sky was a lilac blanket that hung over the Parisian buildings, speckled with glowing stars. The moon, with it’s crescent smile, beamed down of the young couple.

Hey, baby, won't you look my way?

Marinette’s eyes were closed as she rested her head upon his shoulder, relaxing after the night’s rapid escalation. Tonight she had arrived at the ball with the intent to be there for her friends, but somehow she found herself within the arms of Gotham’s (and probably Paris’) Ice Prince. She had overheard his nickname from the Gotham students, one of which being Jon, who was in the middle of mocking the young Wayne. She had never considered that nickname as suitable; sure he was temperamental & had a tendency to snap, but icey to the core? No.

I can be your new addiction

Damian was calm. For the first time in his life he felt like he could take a breath. His exhale was carried off by a small gust of wind, the bush over hanging the stone railing rustled. With his inhale, the scent of Marinette’s perfume became present once more. Mixed with the crisp night’s air, her usual scent of pastries was mixed with what could only be described as ambrosia. His phone vibrated within his pocket, it was never on volume due to the potential risk it caused during his heroic activities.

“Shit.” Notifications covered his screen, multiple tweets, Instagrams and Tiktoks in which he had been tagged in. But the alert came from his family’s private messaging chat. The whole thread was a shit storm, Grayson and Todd’s messages were completely capitalised (he learnt years ago this meant ‘to yell’ in writing form) and both had multiple ‘keyboard spasms’. Drake, like the thorough detective he is, had combed through the images and videos, investigating their validity. His honorary sisters had replied with ‘awwwww’(s) and ‘Omg we MUST meet this girl! I need to know how she tamed the demon!’. He could practically hear Brown’s shrill voice from across the ocean.

Hey, baby, what you gotta say?

No reply from his father or Alfred. The two of them were the only semblance of ‘normal’ paternal figures he had within his life, after the sham of a relationship he had previously held with his grandfather. Their silence unnerved him.

Marinette had noticed his attention had shifted to his phone, her own mobile was buzzing away within her baby pink purse. Messages, notifications of account tagging and comments galore. A sigh left her lips when she saw her parents seemed to be none the wiser. Good, she didn’t need to deal with future adoration for ‘The boy who swept our daughter off of her feet’ (or something along those lines).

Her cheeks regained some of the warmth they held before as she thought of her parent’s reaction. Scrolling through her Twitter she saw her friends had posted multiple images of the night’s events, majority being her shared dance.

Chloé Bourgeois @TheBestBourgeois

what kind of Disney shit is this? (Insert video of two teens dancing around an mostly empty dance floor.)

Alix Kubdel @Sk8trGirl

Replying to @TheBestBourgeois

I KNOW RIGHT?! THEY WERE FUCKING FLOATING!!!

All you're giving me is fiction

She was thankful that they hadn’t tagged her but she hadn’t been spared by others in attendance. Her post thread had blown up, thousands had commented and even more had viewed the evidence. There was no way she would come out of this unscathed.

“Has anyone been on Twitter today?” The blonde of the family asked as she walked into the dining room. Her eyes focused on her scrolling screen, brows furrowed in confusion. “Actually has anyone seen what’s happening on any of our socials?”

It was early in the afternoon and the family had recently returned home after a straining stakeout. The Joker had broken out of Arkham and the Batfam had to deal with his minions. Dick’s arm was in a sling (sprained from a grapple gone wrong), Jason was icing his hand, Alfred was stitching Bruce’s chest wounds while Tim and the girls escaped without severe injuries. All were still recuperating and finally able to recharge.

Alfred always enforced a strict ‘no devices at the dinner table’ rule; no matter how urgent it was, it could wait until after sustenance was consumed. Tim strongly opposed this, but there was no arguing with Agent A. This all surmises that probably no one had seen the crap storm on social media.

I'm a sorry sucker and this happens all the time

Bruce sighed, bringing his free arm up to rub his eyes. Tilting his head back to look at Steph, “Who was it this time?” Barbara quickly took out her phone to see what Stephanie was talking about, all the while glancing accusingly at Dick and Jason. Both of whom held up their arms (or in Dick’s case arm), declaring their innocence.

“It wasn’t fucking me!”

“Jason! Language!” Dick shot a glare at Jason and was met with one in return. ���It wasn’t me either.”

“Then who-“ Bruce started before being cut off by his most rambunctious daughter.

I found out that everybody talks

Stephanie with a squeal, exclaimed that it was Damian. Visions of what the Wayne brat could have done flashed through the heads of everyone in the room. He had been sent overseas before the quarantines and lockdowns hit. During Damian’s first month in France he had been forced into online schooling and then finally when he got to go to in-person classes he hated it. Described the class as a kindergarten with petty and vindictive toddlers.

Had he broken someone’s arm? Was that person of such importance that it had spread over multiple social media platforms? France’s government had announced on June 15th, that teens were now being inoculated so him having COVID-19 was doubtful. Had he insulted the wrong person? Had he taken over the government? He certainly had the potential.

Everybody talks, everybody talks

What they saw stunned them, even Steph as she watched it for the 7th time. Damian Wayne was dancing. But not only that, he was dancing with a girl.

It started with a whisper

“What is this shit?”

No one verbally objected to Jason’s outburst but he was sent a harsh glare from Alfred, Dick and Bruce. Their focus soon returned to the images and videos before them. Babs’ and Steph’s phones were returned to them as the others ran to grab their own devices. They all met back at the table, comparing the posts and comparing their notes.

I can hear the chitchat

“There’s no way this can be real.”

“Jesus Tim,” Barbara rolls her eyes, “have you seen the amount of posts there are? You’d be an idiot to think otherwise.”

Take me to your love shack

“I’m with Tim, how do we know this isn’t some skit. I mean, Demon Spawn almost looks normal. That’s a matter of concern.” He almost dry heaved when he agreed with Tim. Damian couldn’t be capable of naturally exuding that amount of humanity unless there was something in it for him.

Mamas always gotta backtrack

“I was just saying Babs, that we should check the credibility of these images. For all we know they could be gorilla glued together and trying to get unstuck.” Tim cringed at his own reasoning, he really needed to either sleep (probably not going to happen anytime soon) or find his favourite coffee brand (which had been one of the first to vanish after the covid hoarders appeared).

When everybody talks back

Dick was too busy freaking out and spam messaging the youngest Wayne, to defend Damian’s humanity. The family saw this and followed suit, wanting to get information from the source.

Chat name: Alfred supremacy

BigBird: AHHHHHH DAMIAN!

BigBird: YOU LOOK SO CUTE!!!

BigBird: HAIFJDNDNFI

LittleWing: WTF HAPPENED DEMON SPAWN YOU LOOK ALMOST HUMAN

Babs: who knew the city of love would influence the brat

Blondie: they are so cuteeeeeee!

Blondie: We HAVE to meet her!

Silent-but-deadly: agreed.

Timbo: YO DEMON

Timbo: Apparently the videos are legit

Timbo: are you being blackmailed?

And it just devolved into more chaos from there, fueled by the fact that they saw Damian’s ‘Blood Son’ account appear online before vanishing once more. Dick shrieked, “I FOUND HER ACCOUNT!”

The family gathered around the eldest son, peering over his shoulder to view his iPhone 12max screen. They saw a young girl’s Instagram account. It was locked but they could see her profile pic, the girl had black hair and looked to be if Asian decent. They compared it to the videos but it was hard to see due to the hall’s lighting and the minimised facial features of the pfp. Alfred suggested that they search up her username and see who has tagged her, some might have other photos of her.

After research for awhile, the family began to get frustrated with lack of results.

Hey honey you could be my drug

You could be my new prescription

“Come on!” Jason complained, “What kind of teenage girl doesn’t post her life online?” He ignored the girls glares and went back to researching. How had the account by the name of ‘mariiiiinette’ to managed to prevent the entire Wayne clan from accessing it? Damn Instagram privacy settings. He groaned, dragging a hand down his face, “We are fucking stupid. Why don’t we just use the Bat-computer? It would be so much fucking easier.”

“It shouldn’t be used for civilian issues-“

Too much could be an overdose

“The girl could be a meta for all we know! We aren’t safe until we know who she is.” Jason points a finger at Tim, his paranoia flared up and even though he would never admit it, Jason would do anything to protect each member of his family (although Bruce is still debatable).

All this trash talk make me itching

Barbara and Tim took their usual positions as Oracle and Red Robin (who had been banned from patrol due to lack of sleep). The rest of the Batfam stood behind them either with arms crossed or still failing at researching.

Oh my my shit

“The account is owned by a girl called Marinette Dupian-Cheng. She is French-Chinese and her parents own a popular bakery. Also if it wasn’t already obvious, she goes to Collège Françoise Dupont, aka Damian’s French school.” Tim begun informing his nosy family, “But this account has been inactive for the past 6 months, which is strange due to her frequent posting schedule before hand. It seems she probably has a second account and this is her old one.”

Everybody talks, everybody talks

“Not only that,” Barbara interrupted. “There are unopened messages from other accounts that accuse her of being a bully. There is a whole Facebook page about this girl and how she has been hurting her old friends, but neither side seems reliable. The so called victims seem to be twisting the truth but there is barely any information about Marinette so we can’t disprove it either.”

“Read out some of the messages.” Bruce took a cup of coffee from Alfred and sipped it.

The main screen of the bat computer displayed a Facebook group with the banner picture being a photo of Marinette. “They are mostly complaints expected of teen girls when there is a girl they don’t like; ‘Marinette is such a know-it-all’, ‘She is constantly insulting Lila’s intelligence’. They go on to talk about how Marinette was briefly expelled from the Collège before being reinstated by the principle for a reason unknown to them.”

Everybody talks too much

“Her school reports up until this year were good. The newest one states, ‘While Marinette is a wonderful and bright student, I encourage her to settle her disagreements outside of class. This seems to only be a recent occurrence and I implore her to go to the guidance council if she is in need of help.’” A beat of silence echoes through the cave, Tim sighed. “Jason’s meta theory could be correct. She could have just recently started exhibiting her abilities and using them to get what she wants.”

“Bruce what do you want to do?”

“We’re going to Paris.”

She opened her eyes to the blaring morning light that streamed through the blinds. Her lashes still painted with mascara that refused to leave. She felt a pang of sorrow when she was removing her makeup and dress last night, she never wanted the night to end. She shuffled down the stairs to the kitchen, covering her mouth when she yawned. She greeted her mother as she entered the kitchen to get breakfast.

She glanced at her phone and there was the chaos that was started hours ago and it was still occurring. It was the weekend, she wouldn’t need to deal with her classmates until Monday. But she would still have to survive her parent’s interrogation. Out of the corner of her eye she caught her mother smirking at her.

Everybody talks

“Nadja told me some interesting news about last night.” Marinette held her breath, glaring at the toaster, willing it to hurry up so she could escape. “Well,” Sabine patted her shoulder before rubbing Mari’s back. “I know you didn’t want to go but I hope you had fun.”

With that she exited the kitchen, probably going to help her father in the bakery. The ravenette stared after her, eye widened in shock, jumping when the toaster went off. Buttering her toast she went over the conversation, her brows furrowed in confusion. She had expected a ‘When do I get to meet the oh so famous prince?’ or ‘Should I be expecting a new guest sometime in the near future?’ or at least a ‘Who was that young man, Bǎozàng (宝藏 it means treasure)?’ But she said nothing.

A small smile was plastered upon her face as she changed and went down to help her parents in the bakery. Her father didn’t say anything either, he gave her a knowing smile before continuing to kneed the dough. She sat at the the store front as the cashier whilst her parents were busy making ‘Paris’s Finest Pastries’.

Her musings slowly faded as she was brought back to reality by badly hushed whispers. Two young preteens were by the bread roll casing near the door. She had seen them come in before with their parents, the girls went to the prestigious international school over in the 16th arrondissement. The one with purple hair kept whispering to the brunette, both ‘subtly’ glancing towards her. Using her enhanced hearing she listened in on their conversation.

“That’s her, I swear that’s her in the video.”

The blonde’s face soured likes she sucked on a lemon. “No, it wasn’t good lighting there is no way he would dance with someone like her.”

Everybody talks

Marinette had tough skin but their words had an impact, only a small one due to her defence mechanism of repressing emotions. She stopped listening and went back to drawing in her sketchpad, she was in desperate need of a new school outfit.

The two girls eventually came up to the counter, goods in hand. Marinette rung up and bagged their items (paper because save the turtles sksksk) in a tired daze. A phone was shoved into her face, her eyes barely adjusted to view the screen before the blonde spoke.

“Is this your instagram?” She asked in a tone so snobbish that it should be illegal from a person her age. Marinette finally was able to view the screen that was barely an inch from her face. Her old Instagram ‘mariiiiinette’ was displayed on screen, she hesitantly nodded, gaze flicking back to the two in front of her.

The blonde’s nose scrunched up and the purple goth girl squealed in delight. They soon after left the store, their conversation had devolved into ‘See! I told you’ and ‘Yeah, yeah. You were right.’

Walking to school on Monday, she had finally come down from cloud nine. She still rode the tail end of her high as she rushed along her path to her campus, she wasn’t going to be late but she sure wasn’t going to be early. She had spent the better part of the weekend designing and sewing a brand new outfit. Her new look was composed of a black cropped singlet (L'amour gagne hemmed into it and it’s straps), paired matching peach plaid cropped overshirt and a-line miniskirt. Her hair was down, ballet flats were worn and her makeup was the usual with the added edition of a rose gold eyeshadow.

Even though her face was covered in a black and gold mask, she looked hot.

She reached the campus and the whispers started again, people were still buzzing from Friday night. Her classmates, the majority of her grade and the younger years seemed to gossiping before class about the formal’s events. She couldn’t spot any of her friends or the two Gotham transfers, so she was stuck listening the the chitchat. Why couldn’t she have been late like usual?

Damian had a fowl disposition and it showed in multiple icey glares (and that was before he even reached the collège). His family had made their appearance known in Paris at 1am Sunday morning. He could have used his dorm to escape but his family didn’t have the word ‘privacy’ within their vocabulary. He didn’t want to have to pay for a lock replacement due to his brothers’ (most likely Todd with Drake & Grayson laughing at him) lock picking habit.

The Ice Prince was back with full force. He had just been... influenced by all the other couples. Yes he did respect Dupain-Cheng and he appreciated her company & pleasant conversations. He would struggle to hide a small smile at the memory of the dance, even if he denied himself the happiness of normality, he felt content when reminiscing.

“Ooo the Ice Prince is here, did he have a fight with his princess or something?” The voice seemed to mock him.

“The Disney Magic is gone. The demon is back.”

Everybody talks

At the second jeer he shot a glare at the perpetrator. Jon held his hands up in an ‘I surrender manner’, laughing as he joined Damian at his side. The two entered the school’s large foyer and looked to see if any of the classes were open yet. Sadly they weren’t, before he was wrong and the his class was plain torture but this was truely hell.

He saw Dupain-Cheng sitting alone on the stairs, drawing within her sketchpad. He wondered how a girl like her, who always seemed to be involved in other’s lives (for the better) was ignoring all of the comments about her. She felt his focus centre on her, eyes flicking up to meet his, she provided him with a small wave before continuing to draw.

Jon nudged him with an elbow to his ribs and dragged him off to the side, into the boy’s locker rooms. Jon scowled at the door, “It’s a mad house out there. You’ve heard what some people are saying right?”

“Why would I care about these imbeciles?”

Jon jabbed Damian in the chest, causing the demon to stumble. Green eyes darted from blue eyes to the tan finger. “You care when lies hurt people you care about.”

The day began to rapidly decline once the two dance partners took their seats, next to each other. They had both been placed up the back of the class and them sitting together hadn’t been a problem until now apparently. She wasn’t even safe when the teacher started their lecture, whispers and glances were cast towards them. Once the two got to biology it was better, Ms Mendeleiev was a strict teacher and was able to control the class.

Everybody talks

But the recess came. When the bell rang she slowly started packing up her equipment, Alix and Max (who she shared biology with) waited for her; she watched as the Ice Prince left through the door. She knew she didn’t need to be concerned about her friends joining in with the gossiping, if anything they would dispel people and tell them to ‘Mind their own fucking business’ because this whole situations is ridiculous, utterly ridiculous.

She did receive some slight teasing from Alix about being a Disney princess, but Marinette quipped back about the skater’s fairytale story being ‘Pinknette, the Geek and the Beast’. The three met up with the other two of their group, they had just come from geography. Kim was complaining that Argentina was a state in America.

“That’s Arkansas you idiot!” Chloe shrieked, lightly hitting his arm with her white handbag. Max held his head in his hand as he approached, how had his tutoring sessions failed so badly?

Chloe turned to Marinette, a smile forming from her glare. The blonde examined the designer’s clothing, nodding. “You look like you are about to have a hot girl summer.”

Marinette’s face burned, the tips of her ears coated in red. Alix chuckled and nudged her shoulder.

Everybody talks

“Look at her, she is so desperate for his attention that she probably copied those designs.”

“Why do you think he danced with her anyways? Maybe she has something on him? I mean, she forces him to sit next to her in class, who knows what else she has done.”

What. The. Fuck.

Chloe glowered towards Lila’s posy. “We have a fucking seating plan, those cretins-“ She made a motion to storm over but was caught by the ravenette, looking back to Mari, her rage decreased from a boil to a simmer.

“No Chlo. It’s fine, it’s not worth it.”

Everybody talks... back

The group walked out to the school’s front steps, it was a mad house... a mad courtyard? Students sitting on the stairs, on the grass and standing around mingling, all of them now were staring at her. She held her backpack close to her chest (she had swapped her signature coin-bag purse for the pastel pink bag), pretending its a shield. Her friends circled around her becoming an obstacle to prevent their stares. If people were afraid of a scowling Kim then they don’t know the scorn of Chloe or Alix’s bite. And Max, sweet quiet Max.... you better hope he doesn’t have blackmail on you (he probably does), he can dismantle your life with a single anonymous post.

Rushed footsteps approached them. The group was broken apart by a rude Wayne boy, he swept Mari away from the school and the gossip crowds within. Her four friends shouted at him and he kept walking, shooting a glare at them in response. He kept pushing Marinette forward with a hand placed on the small of her back, her backpack was now swung over his other shoulder.

They ended up in her favourite alcove. She had brought him here with the other Gotham transfers for a native’s tour of Paris. It had always been her safe place to be creative.

It started with a whisper (everybody talks, everybody talks)

“My apologises for our rushed departure but you seemed to want to get out of their anyhow.” His gruff tone danced through the silence, his head still peaking around the corner; watching for any unwelcome guests.

“Thank you.” She whispered, her voice almost being carried off by the gentle wind. A genuine smile illustrated upon her face.

“We weren’t able to converse after the events of the other night. I would like to formally apologise once more for my actions causing this adverse reaction. If I had kn-“

“You don’t need to apologise!” She squeaked, hiding her eyes behind her fisted hand. Her shoulders curled inwards as she tried to make herself seem as small as possible, a side effect of her common use of her secondary miraculous form: Multimouse.

“I chose to dance with you, you don’t need to apologise for my own actions.” He stared at her with confusion. He had taken the blame so she wouldn’t need to do so herself; but she had taken it anyways. He had given her an out. Why does she always take the blame, even for things out of her control?

“But if I hadn’t danced with you then you wouldn’t have been the focus of the entire school.”

Marinette stepped forward, her eyes hardened and blazing. “Damian Friday night I went there out of obligation to my friends, I didn’t want to be there. But dancing with you? That was the highlight of my week, probably my month too. I enjoyed our time together.” Her face softened, lips twitched downwards ever so slightly. “I don’t regret anything about that night, but do you?”

He was bad at comfort. Everyone in his family avoided him when they were in need, he plainly didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t visibly upset but he sensed that she is disappointed that he apparently didn’t share the same opinion of the night. The only thing he regretted about that night was letting Jon call him a coward, but then again if he didn’t he never would have danced with Dupa- Marinette.

He picked up her clenched hand, the tension in her body alleviated at his embrace. He remembered how Grayson would apologise to Kor’i or how his father interacted with Ms Kyle. He brought their hands up and placed a kiss upon her knuckles.

And that was when I kissed her (everybody talks, everybody talks)

“I do not regret anything either—“ he cleared his throat, “In fact, I’d appreciate if we would be able to interact more, especially outside of that cesspit.”

Was he...?

It didn’t matter.

She smiled the same dazzling smile she gave him at the dance. She nodded while laughing, “I’d love that.”

Everybody talks

The two stay talking, hidden within their secret alcove for the rest of the day. She texted her parents to say she was with a friend and would be back later that night. Damian didn’t bother texting his family, Marinette knew he had to be back soon due to his dorm’s curfew.

The sun was setting at they walked back together, he did the gentlemanly thing and dropped her off at her bakery door. She could see her mother behind the register inconspicuously looking over at the two of them. Damian’s lips quirked upwards, she was satisfied with his kinda-smile.

He walked back, hands in pockets and a neutral expression upon his face instead of a scowl. He reached his door and took his keys, he found that it was already open. Damn.

His family was splayed out within his two roomed dorm. Todd and Drake were fighting over a place to sit on his bed, whilst his father sat at his desk, watching the commotion. The three of them turned to him as he enter the room, they were the only family members able to attend on short notice; Cain had a ballet audition, Gordon & Brown had concert tickets for tomorrow, Grayson had to take care of Mar’i while Kor’i was on Tamaran and Alfred stayed to ensure no one died during their night time activities.

“We need to talk Damian.” His father stood, leaning onto the desk chair. “The school called and said you had an unexcused absence for half the day. Where were you Damian?”

Damian stared into his father’s eyes. He was fifteen, almost an adult, but was treated like he was ten again.

“I was with a friend.”

“Probably the girl from the dance. Marinette, right?” Todd mocked him. Damian snapped his head in the direction of his bed, glaring at both his brothers.

“That’s what I want to talk about with you Damian. Now I don’t know her personally but from what we’ve discovered through our investigation we have some concerns. What’s happened Damian?”

The youngest Wayne’s glare shifted off of his brothers to the floor, and then finally to his father; his family sitting in wait for his answer. Straightening his posture, his shoulders clicked as he rolled then back. His statement’s tone was sure and steady, “Everybody talks father.”

Everybody talks... back

[musiinqs]

♔   ◜  —   𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝑀𝑂𝑁𝑇𝐸𝑆𝑄𝑈𝐼𝐸𝑈 𝐼𝑁𝑆𝑇𝐼𝑇𝑈𝑇𝐸 :                                                                𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑒𝑡 𝑝𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑒.  ◞

     ⟨ ♕  ⟩                       your royal highness,      it is our greatest  honour to extend to  you an invitation  to attend      the montesquieu institute for higher education. you are to be part      of a select few, alongside the other highly gifted candidates of our      educational program and so we offer our deepest congratulations.      we hope  the institute  will be a place  for you to  call  home, as we      wish   for  our  staff  and  facilities   to  cater  to  your   every  need.

the montesquieu institute  is an institution for higher education located just outside of the swiss city of geneva. founded in 1806, amidst the political upheaval of the early nineteenth century, the institute has set out to strenghten monarchal international relations and cooperation within europe. today, invitations to the acclaimed institute have been extended to royal heirs all across the globe who, as future leaders of the world, are key players within the future of power and peace.

giving the students ample opportunity to further not only their own education but their diplomatic relationships to other nations, the montesquieu institute offers excellent educational standards and everything else needed to shape their pupils into competent leaders. aside from the usual educational spectrum they focus especially on activities that further both leadership skills and team work, such as team sports or student government activities. knowing this, one  might  assume montesquieu students to be busy with self-improvement all day but while this is certainly the image the institution portrays to the outside world, it looks much different within its walls. here, these royals are after all just one thing: young adults, far removed from the tight shackles of their homelife and families, experiencing what might be their very first taste of freedom  at a place where, for once, they aren’t within the public eye.

♔   ◜  —   𝑆𝑈𝑀𝑀𝐴𝑅𝑌.  ◞

montesquieu institute is an 18+ discord verse telling the stories of both students and staff members at the renowned montesquieu institute for higher education. the institute caters to royal families across the globe, aiding these young adults in  not only  obtaining a degree, but in developing the skills to become the leaders of future generations. while some may grasp every chance of self-improvement, others see a whole new set of opportunities presented to them on a silver platter  —  away from the prying eyes of their families and the press, they can finally shamelessly experience their youth. or,  well,  let's not draw any conclusions before seeing next week's magazine headlines.

♔   ◜  —   𝐺𝑈𝐼𝐷𝐸𝐿𝐼𝑁𝐸𝑆.  ◞

𝑶𝑵𝑬 .    just keep into account some basic roleplaying etiquette.  this means no godmodding, bubble roleplaying or metagaming. make sure to communicate with each other in case of (potentially) triggering subjects, and message the admins about any major plots. since we’re a small group, we also expect everyone to be welcoming  &  treat each other with respect. out of character drama will not be tolerated, and we ask you to please approach one of the admins, should you encounter any issues.

𝑻𝑾𝑶 .   the group has a total of fifteen muns, of which three slots are reserved for the admins. each mun is able to apply for  three muses  at the start, and can apply for a maximum of six over time. muns can pick up a fourth, fifth or sixth muse when demonstrating consistent activity for all others. we may expand on the number of muns within this group if possible or requested. all muns are expected to be eighteen years or older, and all muses  &  faceclaims should be between  twenty and thirty-five.

𝑻𝑯𝑹𝑬𝑬 .   interest checks will be posted in our server on a weekly basis to take note of members’ engagement with and interest in the group. members will have twenty-four hours  to react to the interest check, otherwise they will be removed. hiatuses are possible, please contact an admin in that case !

𝑭𝑶𝑼𝑹 .    diversity is heavily encouraged  &  we ask all muns to consider using faceclaims of colour, or faceclaims who are gender diverse and / or body diverse. we ask that for every mun, at least half their characters are diverse. this means that for your initial three characters, at least one must be diverse.

𝑭𝑰𝑽𝑬 .   we really urge members to be diligent when choosing faceclaims. for monarchies of non-white countries, we expect you to choose faceclaims whose ethnicity (partially) matches the country of your choosing. for example, thai royals will have to be thai. they may be of mixed ethnicity. we also allow for royal families of colour in white countries, as well as royals of colour for white countries as half siblings or adopted siblings, but not vice versa.

𝑺𝑰𝑿 .    please be mindful of others when writing (potentially) triggering content  &  use trigger warnings, the nsfw channel feature or spoiler tags whenever necessary. we also ask you to communicate with your writing partners, just to ensure everyone is comfortable writing mature content. the list of triggers we would like you to keep into account this group can be found below.

♔   ◜  —   𝑀𝑈𝑁 𝑆𝐿𝑂𝑇𝑆.  ◞

the discord verse has a total of  eighteen slots  of which currently  one  are available.

♔   ◜  —   𝑀𝑂𝑅𝐸 𝐼𝑁𝐹𝑂𝑅𝑀𝐴𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁.  ◞

for more information about  montesquieu institute  we invite you to join our discord server  in the source link.  the server will include more information, such as application format, current members, established royal families  &  wanted connections. for any questions, feel free to approach us via tumblr  or  message any of the admins through discord !

𝐽𝑂𝐼𝑁 𝑂𝑈𝑅 𝐷𝐼𝑆𝐶𝑂𝑅𝐷 𝐼𝑁 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝑆𝑂𝑈𝑅𝐶𝐸 𝐿𝐼𝑁𝐾 !