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What does life in North Korea look like outside of Pyongyang? 🇰🇵
Hey, I'm back again with a very scary "tankie" post that asks you to think of North Koreans as people, and to consider their country not as a cartoonish dystopia, but as a nation that, like any other place on earth, has culture, traditions, and history.
Below is a collection of pictures from various cities and places in North Korea, along with a brief dive into some of the historical events that informs life in the so-called "hermit kingdom."
Warning: very long post
Kaesong, the historic city
Beginning this post with Kaesong, one of the oldest cities in Korea. It's also one of the few major cities in the DPRK (i.e. "North Korea") that was not completely destroyed during the Korean war.
Every single city you'll see from this point on were victims of intense aerial bombardments from the U.S. and its allies, and had to be either partially or completely rebuilt after the war.
From 1951 to 1953, during what has now become known as the "forgotten war" in the West, the U.S. dropped 635,000 tons of bombs over Korea — most of it in the North, and on civilian population centers. An additional 32,000 tons of napalm was also deployed, engulfing whole cities in fire and inflicting people with horrific burns:
For such a simple thing to make, napalm had horrific human consequences. A bit of liquid fire, a sort of jellied gasoline, napalm clung to human skin on contact and melted off the flesh. Witnesses to napalm's impact described eyelids so burned they could not be shut and flesh that looked like "swollen, raw meat." - PBS
Ever wondered why North Koreans seem to hate the U.S so much? Well...
Keep in mind that only a few years prior to this, the U.S. had, as the first and only country in the world, used the atomic bomb as a weapon of war. Consider, too, the proximity between Japan and Korea — both geographically and as an "Other" in the Western imagination.
As the war dragged on, and it became clear the U.S. and its allies would not "win" in any conventional sense, the fear that the U.S. would resort to nuclear weapons again loomed large, adding another frightening dimension to the war that can probably go a long way in explaining the DPRK's later obsession with acquiring their own nuclear bomb.
But even without the use of nuclear weapons, the indiscriminate attack on civilians, particularly from U.S. saturation bombings, was still horrific:
"The number of Korean dead, injured or missing by war’s end approached three million, ten percent of the overall population. The majority of those killed were in the North, which had half of the population of the South; although the DPRK does not have official figures, possibly twelve to fifteen percent of the population was killed in the war, a figure close to or surpassing the proportion of Soviet citizens killed in World War II" - Charles K. Armstrong
On top of the loss of life, there's also the material damage. By the end of the war, the U.S. Air Force had, by its own estimations, destroyed somewhere around 85% of all buildings in the DPRK, leaving most cities in complete ruin. There are even stories of U.S. bombers dropping their loads into the ocean because they couldn't find any visible targets to bomb.
What you'll see below of Kaesong, then, provides both a rare glimpse of what life in North Korea looked like before the war, and a reminder of what was destroyed.
Kaesong's main street, pictured below.
Due the stifling sanctions imposed on the DPRK—which has, in various forms and intensities, been in effect since the 1950s—car ownership is still low throughout the country, with most people getting around either by walking or biking, or by bus or train for longer distances.
Kaesong, which is regarded as an educational center, is also notable for its many Koryŏ-era monuments. A group of twelve such sites were granted UNESCO world heritage status in 2013.
Included is the Hyonjongnung Royal Tomb, a 14th-century mausoleum located just outside the city of Kaesong.
One of the statues guarding the tomb.
Before moving on the other cities, I also wanted to showcase one more of the DPRK's historical sites: Pohyonsa, a thousand-year-old Buddhist temple complex located in the Myohyang Mountains.
Like many of DPRK's historic sites, the temple complex suffered extensive damage during the Korean war, with the U.S. led bombings destroying over half of its 24 pre-war buildings.
The complex has since been restored and is in use today both as a residence for Buddhist monks, and as a historic site open to visitors.
Hamhung, the second largest city in the DPRK.
A coastal city located in the South Hamgyŏng Province. It has long served as a major industrial hub in the DPRK, and has one of the largest and busiest ports in the country.
Hamhung, like most of the coastal cities in the DPRK, was hit particularly hard during the war. Through relentless aerial bombardments, the US and its allies destroyed somewhere around 80-90% percent of all buildings, roads, and other infrastructure in the city.
Now, more than seventy years later, unexploded bombs, mortars and pieces of live ammunition are still being unearthed by the thousands in the area. As recently as 2016, one of North Korea's bomb squads—there's one in every province, faced with the same cleanup task—retrieved 370 unexploded mortar rounds... from an elementary school playground.
Experts in the DPRK estimate it will probably take over a hundred years to clean up all the unexploded ordnance—and that's just in and around Hamhung.
Hamhung's fertilizer plant, the biggest in North Korea.
When the war broke out, Hamhung was home to the largest nitrogen fertilizer plant in Asia. Since its product could be used in the creation of explosives, the existence of the plant is considered to have made Hamhung a target for U.S. aggression (though it's worth repeating that the U.S. carried out saturation bombings of most population centers in the country, irrespective of any so-called 'military value').
The plant was immediately rebuilt after the war, and—beyond its practical use—serves now as a monument of resistance to U.S. imperialism, and as a functional and symbolic site of self-reliance.
Chongjin, the third largest city in the DPRK.
Another coastal city and industrial hub. It underwent a massive development prior to the Korean war, housing around 300,000 people by the time the war broke out.
By 1953, the U.S. had destroyed most of Chongjin's industry, bombed its harbors, and killed one third of the population.
Wonsan, a rebuilt seaside city.
The city of Wonsan is a vital link between the DPRK's east and west coasts, and acts today as both a popular holiday destination for North Koreans, and as a central location for the country's growing tourism industry.
Considered a strategically important location during the war, Wonsan is notable for having endured one of the longest naval blockades in modern history, lasting a total of 861 days.
By the end of the war, the U.S. estimated that they had destroyed around 80% of the city.
Masikryong Ski Resort, located close to Wonsan. It opened to the public in 2014 and is the first, I believe, that was built with foreign tourists in mind.
Sariwon, another rebuilt city
One of the worst hit cities during the Korean War, with an estimated destruction level of 95%.
I've written about its Wikipedia page here before, which used to mockingly describe its 'folk customs street'—a project built to preserve old Korean traditions and customs—as an "inaccurate romanticized recreation of an ancient Korean street."
No mention, of course, of the destruction caused by the US-led aerial bombings, or any historical context at all that could possibly even hint at why the preservation of old traditions might be particularly important for the city.
Life outside of the towns and cities
In the rural parts of the DPRK, life primarily revolves around agriculture. As the sanctions they're under make it difficult to acquire fuel, farming in the DPRK relies heavily on manual labour, which again, to avoid food shortages, requires that a large portion of the labour force resides in the countryside.
Unlike what many may think, the reliance on manual labour in farming is a relatively "new" development. Up until the crisis of the 1990s, the DPRK was a highly industrialized nation, with a modernized agricultural system and a high urbanization rate. But, as the access to cheap fuel from the USSR and China disappeared, and the sanctions placed upon them by Western nations heavily restricted their ability to import fuel from other sources, having a fuel-dependent agricultural industry became a recipe for disaster, and required an immediate and brutal restructuring.
For a more detailed breakdown of what lead to the crisis in the 90s, and how it reshaped the DPRKs approach to agriculture, check out this article by Zhun Xu.
Some typical newly built rural housing, surrounded by farmland.
Tumblr only allows 20 pictures per post, but if you want to see more pictures of life outside Pyongyang, check out this imgur album.
#dprk#north korea#i've had this post unfinished in drafts for almost a year#also sorry about the spelling and potential formatting issues it's a nightmare to edit at this point#it was literally just meant to be a collection of picture and then the writing just sort of happened#enjoy the brief heritageposts history lesson i guess
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When the tentacles r implied to be tree roots >>>>>>>
#utmv au#utmv#undertale au#dreamtale#dreamtale nightmare#nightmare sans#undertale multiverse#also kinda a formatting test#underverse#sans
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Fair Lady Claire
Don't you just hate it when the person you dread the thought of becoming the most visits you and goes on about how similar you two are?
#oh my god#its done#!!!!#formating this was a NIGHTMARE#i love making comics in webtoon format#but the moment i want to post one anywhere#i hate it with my entire being#digital art#artists on tumblr#fanart#digital illustration#illustration#comic#trollhunters#tales of arcadia#tales of arcadia fanart#fan comic#claire nuñez#tales of arcadia morgana#trollhunters morgana#my art#art#my comic
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On the plus side, nothing has replied to me yet, which I am taking as a win.
#art#doodle#comic#this always makes me double take afterwards because technically i am expecting an answer#i just dont know what it is because IT DOESNT EXIST.#do you know what i mean lol#sz#darqxdreams#but not because i am awake when this happens#this does however follow a similar format to my nightmare comics XD
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I don't want a lot for Christmas There is just one thing I need
merry november first. guy who goes stage three when he hears mariah carey killer by rahafwabas nightmare by jokublog
#to everyone who recognizes this format ily#-mod kip#🦑#badly drawn utmv#killer sans#nm sans#nightmare sans#utmv#undertale multiverse#nm has put up an ad for him on ebay like twenty times now#To no avail.
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Doodle dump but it’s the spankoffski bros + tinky
#justtrashdoodles#starkid#ted spankoffski#peter spankoffski#pete spankoffski#tnoy karaxis#t’noy karaxis#tinky#hatchetfield#idk why but it didn’t post in the correct format previously#spankoffski bros#goat bros#some of these doodles are old#the phone call is based on the idea of nightmare time 2 timeline where Peter only founds out Ted had died/got killed afyer or during camp#while the hug one is post npmd idea
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Queer Little Creatures And Gay To Be Certain Too
...
I love these silly boys so much
#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#the lords in black#lords in black#pokotho#pokey#blinklotep#blinky#t'noy karaxis#tnoy karaxis#tinky#nibblenephim#nibbly#wiggog y'wrath#wiggly#the guy who didn't like musicals#tgwdlm#black friday#nightmare time#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#team starkid#starkid#smosh#spencer agnew#angela giarratana#shayne topp#trevor evarts#the boys are specifically in the same formation as during the summoning it's my favorite song
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“Oh, my love, don’t forsake me
Take what the water gave me”
#I don’t even want to think about the formatting nightmare this will be on instagram#anyway enjoy#I called this one ‘submerge’#because I wanted to parallel the memory loss with the feeling of drowning#and also the qifrey/water connection#so the original idea was that the frame gets smaller as oru sinks into qifrey#which is why I left the white robe as negative space#idk if it worked per se but I still like it#qifrey#olruggio#orufrey#witch hat atelier fanart#witch hat atelier#comic#mini comic#wha#my art#fanart#artists on tumblr#digital art#tongari boushi no atelier
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The real nightmare of Nightmare Time is that there's so little of it
#ethan green#joey richter#starkid#nightmare time#hatchetfield#fanart#my art#sketches#doodles#joey playing ethan is an absolute hit with my brain#cant draw him for the life of me but THIS HAIRSTYLE WITH THAT JACKET??? i'll keep trying until i get it right love this look#soooo#im not usually the person who needs to consume ALL of the media for whatever im into#it just so happened that i kinda have to draw stuff for school anyway and nightmare time makes for a very fun background show#i got used to the format and it gets better with every episode to the point that now that i just finished it i miss it??? already??#its so very nice to have a hyperfixation again especially one that can play in the background as i fight with school stuff and comissions#thanks BD! Its all your fault buddy! ;P#500
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haha i'm feeling so normal about killer track today
#prepare for many more posts in this format#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#starkid#nightmare time#nightmare time 2#killer track#duke keane#ms holloway#holloweane
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r/AITA
u/WigglyWigg • 3y
AITA for nuking Moscow?
This past Friday, I (M, ̶̨̡̢̧̨̘̫̫̻͙̣͕̺̟̽̃̀͋́̚̚͜ ̷̡̭̜̩͕̠̦̗̟̟̫̖͇͎̽̌̾̿̌̈́̓̄̏̌̇̚͜͜ ) was at home when the President of the United States (M, >35) deployed a nuclear bomby-wom with the intent to destroy me. I redirected the nuke for my own self preservation, and in the process, pushed it through a dimensional gateway into Moscow, obliterating it in the process. AITA?
⬆️ 1.4k | ⬇️ | 💬384
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TheBastardsBack • 3y
NTA. Your house, your rules, man.
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 1.1k ⬇️
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SingAlongPokotho • 3y
NTA. It was self defense. Also didn’t the President enter your home without a warrant? That’s mega sus. Def NTA
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 974 ⬇️
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WileySnake • 3y
NTA. See folks, this is what America has come to. What the world has come to. Ain’t it a shame.
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 950 ⬇️
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QueenB_itch • 3y
NTA. Good.
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 925 ⬇️
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Blink1nceBlink2wice • 3y
NTA. u/SingAlongPokey literally sent a meteor to a small town. Can’t be worse than that lmao
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 899 ⬇️
| SingAlongPokotho • 3y
| Didnt you literally try to tear a family apart
| at your personal amusement park?
… ↩️ ⬆️ -2 ⬇️
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Jaegerbomb • 3y
Ha ha ha NTA
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 782 ⬇️
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Mouthface • 3y
NTA it was really funny.
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 670 ⬇️
| Mouthface • 3y
| Tasty too tbh. Yum yum.
 … ↩️ ⬆️ 130⬇️
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MoreBadder • 3y
r/MURICA
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 669 ⬇️
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Idontlikemusicals • 3y
NTA. Fuck Moscow. Fuck ‘em straight to hell
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 602 ⬇️
| Shitlips • 3y
| Hey, at least they aren’t Cl*vesdale.
| Assholes
… ↩️ ⬆️ 1.9k ⬇️
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SpotlightOnMe • 3y
Wtf I literally predicted this exact scenario 20 years ago????
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 592 ⬇️
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X_Lee • 3y
u/notaPEIP are you seeing this?
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 577 ⬇️
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WitchlessWeb • 3y
YTA! That kills people!!
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ -1.5k ⬇️
#Mouthface isn’t the TTO Mouthface. it’s just a reference bc nibbly’s face is litterally a mouth#this took over an hour to type out because of all the formatting#Paul’s response is ooc but I wanted that joke in there sry#I’m doing this on my phone so hopefully the formatting doesn’t mess up on other devices#starkid#team starkid#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#tgwdlm#the guy who didn't like musicals#starkid black friday#hatchetfield#nightmare time#pokotho#pokey#bliklotep#blinky#t’noy karaxis#tinky#nibblenephim#nibbly#wiggog y'wrath#wiggly#Parker and his brother talk Starkid
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bsd but make it scott pilgrim au where dazai is ramona and when poor kunikida starts dating him he has to fight dazai’s 7 evil exes (just chuuya)
#knkdz#kunikidazai#dazai osamu#kunikida doppo#chuuya nakahara#bsd#scott pilgrim vs the world#scott pilgram takes off#dazai really cannot hear the word partner and then be normal he really just be doing allat#platonic kunichuu because they need to interact right now or someone is getting jumped#bungou stray dogs#i’m a nightmare at formatting comics but i hope this is readable
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Tender I’m not sure what to say about this one at the moment. Here’s what the poem reads: Remnants Naively thrive, Constricting every thought Tied to the atlas of my brain And heart.
Tender, All bruised, seeking To heal whilst they decay; I’ll keep patiently as they slip Away
There are prints available in my shop too 💗
#Art#artists on tumblr#I tried to format the text nicely but tumblr is a nightmare so never mind I guess lol
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How Homestuck Beyond Canon Candy Timeline has/will have parallels with Homestuck proper around and during the events of [S] Game Over
Jane Crocker heavily aligned/influenced by with Crocker Corp. Notice how her neck accessory looks very similar to the Crocker computer tiara. There's also the circuits surrounding the button, which are reminiscent of Crockertier Jane's visual mind control effect by The Condesce.
Jane also kind of looks like The Condesce with how she's silhouetted here.
The head of Crocker Corporation on a large Crocker space ship. A ship which I would like to point out looks eerily similar to the ship that The Condesce flies around in except the forks/sporks are facing the opposite direction and it's got black on it instead of mostly red.
Jake dying at the hands of Crocker influenced Jane and coming back to life parallels with this Jane coming close to killing Jake, but stopping right before death. Same green text too.
The cast of characters surrounding this time in the comic are also similar.
We also got the whole Crocker laser beam of death being hinted at which we've absolutely seen before.
I talked about this in one of my previous theories, Jake is getting a better grasp of his hope powers; so, I think we could see another hope explosion again in some capacity out of Jake's concern for Tavvy.
I could also totally see Jake being held hostage by one of the Crocker Clones A.K.A. the Brig Boys and Kanaya cutting them up with her chainsaw (hopefully avoiding Jake).
This is more of a little side detail, but Vriska is once again on the sidelines while this massive important fight takes place because she's trapped in her own personal Hell this time.
CHARACTER DEATH FLAGS - I don't know how to organize this post and there was a lot more potential evidence to this than I thought there was going into it.
Let me preface this with the fact that the existential split between Meat and Candy sometimes seems to try to course correct itself and much like certain peoples DNIs, it doesn't want any doubles. We see this with Dirk, Dave (he died even if he ascended to ultimate self afterwards), June/J/John, Terezi(seemingly), Meenah (her other self is in the black hole with Lord English so we can't necessarily confirm death but yknow), Aradia (is just Aradia), Gamzee, Calliope (that is a whole complex situation), and Rose (if her future sight is correct, but we'll get to that). Those are the only examples I can think of at this time, but it's absolutely a repeating pattern of the universe sort of course-correcting to have only one of each of our main characters exist at a time. This, at least in the cases of Dirk, Dave, & Rose seems to be related to the ascension to ultimate self, but we can't really say if that's why the other characters only get one existence at this time.
Karkat has has at least 2 deaths from around this time, one involving Crockertier Jane as well which could be a sign of things to come.
Rose's death flag is that she has literally foreseen her death in her future sight. She is thinking about Kanaya and Roxy in the same thought process while seeing her own death, feeling full of regret (even though she's trying to repress her own feelings) about her relationship to Roxy and Kanaya. Very similar to her being regretful as she was dying in Roxy's arms. I'm also guessing the bullet that hits her will be from Jake's gun, just throwing that out as a possibility.
ROSE: What... ROSE: Happened to me? ROXY: the witch got u ROXY: with her fork ROXY: but youre gonna be ok ROSE: Oh. ROSE: That's nice. ROSE: *Cough.* ROXY: maybe you uh ROXY: shouldnt try to talk now ROSE: You saved me, didn't you? ROXY: ... ROSE: Thanks. ROSE: But, ROSE: She's gone, isn't she. ROSE: For good, I mean. ROXY: ? ROSE: I saw her die. ROSE: And. ROSE: It's a shame how... ROSE: *Cough.* ROSE: A shame that I never even... ROSE: Got to tell her... ROSE: I loved her. ROXY: who?
ROSE: Kanaya. ROSE: But... ROSE: You too, mom.
Kanaya also has a death flag here in getting hit by The Condesce's laser beam of death, but it's more of a maybe given that we see Rose's future vision of Kanaya holding her body in her arms. Keep in mind though we also had this bit of dialogue about the reliability of future sight right before we saw that vision.
JADE: dont forget im more than a little versed in future sight myself ok JADE: i dont care how credible it seems, you cant depend on that information!
Jake and Jane are also on the chopping block potentially, but I can't think of a way at this time, unless Kanaya mistakes Jake for one of the clones amidst her rage and ends up cutting through him along with the Crocker clones. The one pictured below was done by Aranea who is out of the story. Maybe Meenah's trident hits Jake somehow or something, I don't know. We also have meat Jake and Jane who are doing more okay.
On top of the parallels to the doomed timeline that was [S] Game Over, we also had Vriska say that this reality was fake and didn't matter. I'm paraphrasing and I don't know if we'll get a doomed timeline situation yet with the 4 kids still in it, but I just thought the amount of parallels was interesting & worth pointing out.
I also wanted to get this out before the next update in case it's related to the flash animation and any of my predictions come true.
Alternatively I think the flash animation will be Ultimate Dirk kick starting his SBURB home brew session on Deltritus. He probably has all the tech and narrative powers to do it based on what we've seen, they just need a species they'll both be satisfied with as the players for the session.
#I wasn't sure how to title this hs theory; can you tell? Wanted it to be accurate; this isn't the clickbait video site lmao#sorry that some of the image qualities vary; I couldn't be bothered to find specific pages in the long labyrinth that is act 6 and#ended up just using a summary video for some of these because that was much easier. There is so much to talk about I'm probably going to#miss something in HSBC so if anyone has anything else to add onto this post feel free to do it. when I tell you that formatting these#colored text chat logs was a nightmare; I mean that. Every time I saved the draft it kept glitching the chat logs too. Kept having to fix.#there's also some characters like Roxy where we don't know what she's up to in the candy timeline as well as Sollux and John/June Egbert#Also Calliope are any of them preparing for this fight or have some kind of plan? Captor could help but would need cover while he blasts#Anyway this mostly started from Jane's whole batterwitch vibe she has going on with Crocker corporation and her laser machine#hopefully Kanaya will be okay; but I'm definitely super worried about Rose atm and Jake too; also what's going on with Tavvy#Candy Jane as the new condesce it's not looking good for Commander Karkat Meenah or Kanaya. Mr English plz come save your son Tavros#mine#op#homestuck theory#homestuck beyond canon#homestuck#jake english#rose lalonde#jane crocker#kanaya maryam#karkat vantas#homestuck spoilers#homestuck upd8#cw flashing images#cw blood#cw gore
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kerejeandreil au based on this post (yeah you have homework, read that first)
kevin's getting ready to move. it's not far. just across town really. but it's much closer to his stadium. his court. (kevin plays exy in every au i write bc i love him okay) he calls a moving company and they send a handful of guys and a couple big trucks to his house. he's bewildered when he opens the door to find a team of models there to pack his house up.
(jerejean are already a thing, andreil are already a thing.)
and as they pack his things, kevin asks if he's allowed to order them pizza. andrew jokingly tells him 'only if you get one of those brownie things too' before he carries out a couple of dining chairs.
kevin stares at andrew's biceps until he's outside. then dials up the pizza place. and orders three pizzas plus the brownie thing.
the five of them talk and pack and eat. during a lull, kevin starts rambling about ancient egypt- it's jean's fault for making a mummy joke, wrapping neil with bubble wrap. but they all listen and at least pretend to be interested when kevin explains how mummies were Actually preserved. and compares it to how modern funeral homes embalm the dead. (he got really into that sort of thing when his mom died. autism baby)
and then finally they're done. they say goodbye and leave kevin in his otherwise empty place. he watches through the window as neil and jeremy shut the back doors of the trucks and lock them up. one of the trucks turns over and pulls away, and something takes over kevin.
he rushes outside as jeremy's about to climb up into the passenger seat of his and jean's truck. jeremy hops back down and asks "hey what's up?"
"i just..." kevin doesn't know what to say. "i wanted to see if i could get your number."
"yep!" jeremy grins and jerks a thumb up to the logo and number on the side of the truck. kevin wilts, jeremy makes a face. "wait. didn't you call us in the first place?"
"i mean," kevin's tongue-tied. he hears jean ask what's going on from up in the cab and jeremy holds a finger up at him.
"just a second." then he looks back at kevin, analyzing him with pretty brown eyes. "you didn't mean-"
"no. i, um. thought maybe we could do this again," kevin gestures to his house, the house he's just sold and packed up with the help of a quartet of gorgeous movers.
"pack all your belongings into a truck?" jeremy asks, amused.
"no. i..." kevin laughs nervously. "hang out. the five of us. maybe. you're all friends already right? and this was... fun."
"mm, friends is a strong word when it comes to andrew and neil but... here," jeremy pulls out a sharpie from one of the pockets of his overalls (he's cute and wears overalls okay) he takes kevin's arm and starts to write. the smell of the marker makes kevin's stomach turn, but it's not jeremy's fault.
"tada!" jeremy caps the marker and finally starts to climb back into the truck. kevin looks down at his arm to find a phone number with a pretty cursive J.
"thanks."
"text me okay. we'll make plans," jeremy smiles. "and don't worry, we already know where your new place is." he winks and waves and slams his door. and kevin is left on the sidewalk with his jaw on the ground and a number on his arm.
~ meanwhile, in andreil's truck neil is almost hyperventilating bc 'that was kevin day, andrew' / 'i'm very aware' / 'do you think he recognized me?' / 'he was too busy staring at jeremy and jean to even look your way, he didn't recognize you. settle down alright' (andrew is a bit oblivious to the fact that kevin was blatantly checking out all four of them)
ahhh this was fun to write out! thank you to @ab-horror for inspiring me with their tags:
#sorry that this was an absolute nightmare formatting wise. i just lost my mind for a bit. : )#lol#i... desperately want to make this a Thing#but uh. i do not have the brain cells rn#perhaps soon...#kerejeandreil#aftg#my writing#diaerie#long post
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Fast foodies know the deal
Ghost x reader
(not proof read, this is just fluff straight from the source
Warnings: none, ovulation mention maybe? Its brought up a single time.)
The craving hits around 3 in the morning, it's ovulation week so the idea of not getting chicken nuggets from the drive through makes you want to cry.
You turn towards the sleeping lug beside you. He's on his back, breaths deep and even. Still as a grave but at your movement he takes the arm you had been using as a pillow to drag you further into his side.
Your Simon, took you forever just to get the man to admit he did more than tolerate you. even longer to admit he cared for you. It took you almost using his toothbrush to realize that the man might actually (gasp) like you. That one you didn't push, figured he'd come to terms with it on his own.
As you look at how peaceful he seems you try to fight the urge, you really do, but as you prop yourself up on your elbows and move closer to Simon's ear you resign to begging his forgiveness later.
"Simon, my baby? You sleeping?"
You wouldn't have known he was a awake had it not been for the lone eye opening to check on you
"Was, love. I was. Whats wrong, bad dream? Y' Can turn on the telly to that duck cartoon or the robots - won't bother me none." He rubs a comforting hand up and down your back, he's being so sweet you really do start to feel bad.
"I want chicken nuggets."
Silence.
Both eyes are open now.
The silence continues.
You smile sheepishly.
Wordlessly simon extracts his arm and turns so his back is to you.
"Nnooooooo! Simon pleeeaase. Pretty please? I want chicken nuggets so bad!"
"Go ahead. keys are on the rack, tanks full."
"Nooo you have to take me! come on baby please, for me?"
"My love. Sunshine. Light of my life. If you're hungry i made a perfecly good roast last night. Heat that up and let a man rest."
"I dont want a perfectly good roast! I want chicken nuggets. And a burger. And fries - oh maybe a shake?" You lean over him, hair purposely hung over into his face. He turns quickly and you're nose to nose
"So youre gonna have me get up at 3 fucking a.m. to get you a greasey, artey clogging, cholesterol raising gastrointestinal disaster of a meal - when we have a perfectly good home made dinner in the fridge."
"....please?"
Silence.
A deep suffering sigh.
An ecstatic squee
"Just get your fuckin shoes on"
------
You lean back over into the passenger seat, simon grumpy faced as you insisted that you should be the one to order.
You pat your thighs in glee as he pulls up to the window, gives you a dirty look , and hands the cashier his card.
The second window delivers your meal and drink quickly, you dig in like a starved animal. You're mid chew when he gives a grunt. A snooty sounding eh hem.
You grin and giggle, slowly airplaning him a nugget.
"Give me the chicken or i'll take the whole box"
You squeak and shove it to his lips quickly. His jaws snap around the nugget and it's gone within a single bite - you retract your fingers, still intact but wet with spit.
You give an 'eeeech' and look for somewhere to wipe your hand.
"Any of this ends up in or on my interior and it'll be your arse."
You roll your eyes and reach in the bag for a napkin, knocking the fries over in the process.
Silence.
The car drifts slowly to the left and is parked along the side of the road.
Not a word spoken.
You try to shove as many back into the carton as possible.
He stares at you.
You smile sweetly at him before leaning over the center console and kissing him. You meet his lips, they're stretched into a dangerous grin.
"Love" kiss "did you" kiss "spill salt" kiss "in my truck?"
You might not know a lot, but you know that voice means you're in trouble, which means it's distraction time.
You continue your sweet onslaught of kisses.
"Thank you for taking me baby, I love you so much. ", another smooch
is delivered.
"Youre my person, my favorite guy, love of my life."
He bites at your lip and you barely manage to slip it from his teeth
"Wanna spend the rest of my life with you, grow old with you"
He grips the back of your head and maneuvers your ear to his mouth, in a deep rumble he asks
"Are there fries on my floor, love?"
The dangerous smile still present.
"No of course not baby! i cleaned those up."
"So my truck is fry free?"
"Well - no didn't say that. there's a, a few under the seat"
He's grappling you into his lap now, the man looks a hint deranged.
"And why, my love, are you telling me about them instead getting them?"
he presses.
"'Cause I - hehe - I can't reach!" You giggle out as his hands slink towards your sides.
He pokes and prods at you, growling not unlike a bear while you squeal and squeak out little laughs.
"Gets a man up at ass o'clock-"
"Oh please, you get up early anyway!"
"makes him drive to get congealed grease-"
"you had a nugget too!"
"Then trashes his truck."
"Oh please it's like a handful of fries, I'll get them, i'll get them!"
He frees you with a huff and you dive back over to your side of the car. You pop open your door and hop outside to get a better angle at the underside of the seat. He gets impatient as you fish around for the last few fries, giving a little hurrah as the last one is snatched.
Clambering back into the truck you grin at him, happy as can be. He hums a short laugh, and you're off to home again.
He makes a beeline for the bedroom and you trot over to the counter to finish your meal, most of it having been shared and eaten in the truck. You sit back a moment to enjoy the feeling of fullness when you see Simon emerge again.
"Bed. Now. Kept me up long enough" he's already on you before you can think of a reply, slung over his shoulder. He makes quick work of getting you both situated in your proper spots.
You're snuggled into his side for the night, full and content. He breathes in deep and exhales slowly. you draw nonsensical patterns on his bare chest, playing with the hair there. As sleep overtakes you, your palm flattens over the spot where his heart resides; and you feel him relax just a smidgen more.
#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#fluff#odd stories#all of this was also written on a phone#so like of formating is weird thats why#simon riley fanfic#simon riley fluff#is it so wrong to want a big beefy grumo to get up in the dark of the morning to get you food???? i think not#is he maybe ooc in this? perhaps. perhaps. do i just wanna write a story in which the man is happy and has a dork of a spouse? ye.#also when i have nightmares i watch one of two cartoons on mute- its either transformers or darkwing duck!#sunshine series
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