#forgot I wasn’t the inquisitor for a second

[hq92]

Playing Dragon Age: Origins for the very first time after romancing Cullen in Inquisition.

Random Mage: Ooohoohoo Cullen's in love with youuuu~~~

Me: 😏☺️ Hahaha YEAH he is! 🥰..............Wait, what? ���

[sky--phantom]

Trespasser! 🫡

btw, pls don't hold the hair clipping against me 😅 this is her hairstyle, and I liked the outfit too much to change it because of the neck.

Also, warning, I ended up rambling at the end 😅

Lavellan when she spots Solas and the Viddasala

I don't know why but this one just seems so funny to me out of context 😂 like, "honey, you know that thing you told me not to do?"

Solas as Lavellan talks about how she discovered he's the Dread Wolf. I don't know how to describe this expression, sad, fond, proud? I think there would be a "Solas approves" here tho 🥲

"What is the old Dalish curse? “May the Dread Wolf take you”?"

"And so he did" (this is the other line that kills me)

They closed their eyes and lowered their heads at the same second during the "I would not have you see what I become". These two angsty mfs

(Though judging by how Solas' bags in DAV + that bit told in the GI article, she wasn’t exactly wrong to say "I cannot bear to think of you alone")

The Anchor flares up

"Solas, var lath vir suledin"

"I wish it could, vhenan."

the kiss 😢

It kills me how he brushes her hair back, and then holds her face. He also holds her hand with his other one.

They both just look so fking wrecked during this kiss.

And then he leaves 😞

now to wait for their next meeting in DAV 🥲

I still can't believe that, besides his visits to her dreams (which I think is probably a whole other post), this is the last time they meet. Pretty sure DAV is 8 years after this.

This was devastating. Both of them are wrecked, this is not what they want, but it's the path Solas has chosen to walk through. It hurts because falling in love with Lavellan is probably one of the few times in a while that Solas has done something just for himself, not for the cause, not for the people, but Solas

("The blame is mine, not yours. It was irresponsible and selfish of me") ("Because I made a selfish mistake. Because you deserve better"),

and he has to break it off. No matter how Lavellan and the other members of the Inquisition have helped him see people as, you know, people, this is a mission he has set for himself, something he believes he has to do, his duty.

(Also, I forgot to mention it during the Crestwood post, but it hurts when he stops saying vhenan and changes to Inquisitor)

So, Solas drags his feet, walking slowly, but still walks away from Lavellan and towards the eluvian. He walks away from the person who fell in love with him when he was just Solas, and walks towards the path where he is Fen'Harel, the god of rebellion who has tried to help his people, even if it doesn't turn out well.

He leaves behind a Lavellan whose heart is breaking for the 3rd time because of the same man, who has to deal with what happens with the Inquisition (mine disbanded with the angry option), and the loss of an arm. Also, you know, dealing with the fact that he is an elven god and wants to destroy the veil.

So, yeah...

Sorry that this got a bit very rambly 😅 I just finished the game a little over 2 weeks ago, and there are a lot of thoughts running around my head.

I'm looking forward to seeing what happens with Solas in DAV, and how the Inquisitor will be integrated into the game as well. (side note, I'm so curious about that, bc they haven't even mentioned if the Inky CC will have the same options as Rook) (I just want to know if there are prosthetics and if they can have body tattoos)

These are more general, just thought they were pretty

[phannamime]

WARNING MAD LONG POST In which I ramble about my inquisitor- Mava Lavellan's backstory

Just so I can get it out of my head. TW (Emotional Abuse- Severe Burns)

TL;DR How does one person deal with shouldering the responsibility of a world saving semi-cult? Parentification

Dragon: Mava was first born to Hanina Lavallen and Ethlam Lavallen, in the year 9:09 dragon. Hanina was sister to Keeper Deshanna Istimaethoriel Lavellan and as such when Mava first showed signs of magic at 5 she was favored and chosen to be Deshanna’s First. Hanina was incredibly proud of that fact and made sure that her daughter knew her responsibility at a young age.

Cylus, her brother was born 9:11 Dragon. The two were inseparable and she adored him. In 9:14 Clan Lavellan was attacked by a group of humans, this almost resulted in the death of Cylus, and Hanina who was pregnant at the time, went into labor prematurely. Vela was born small and weak, and the event scarred Hanina. She grew protective of her children and kept a strong presence in their raising, atypical of the more communal raising of the Dalish.

Mava spent most of this time with Deshanna learning magic, or with her mother. She had little time with others her age besides her siblings. Her mage training and her mother’s expectations took all of her time. Mava didn’t mind, she loved learning about her clan and the gods. Still she wasn’t the quickest to pick up magic, and often struggled to do more than just the most basic of actions.

Hanina’s protectiveness developed into paranoia, worsened by Ethlam often being gone hunting. She placed her fears onto Mava, and told her that she was responsible for her siblings safety. If anything ever happened to Cylus or Vela it was Mava’s fault for failing to look after them.

The lectures didn’t happen often at first, Cylus was a chatty, and sweet child. He learned to placate his mother and soothe her worries. No the lectures grew much more frequent as Vela grew older. She was always a bit of a spit fire but she was her mother’s favorite. She was allowed much more freedoms then the older two. Her mother was even more proud of her when she showed magic at the age of 3. She was made second under her sister and quickly excelled in her studies. Magic came easily to her and as she was allowed to interact with others more, she also was much more comfortable with those her age.

Mava was happy her sister was doing well at first. When Vela did well her mother was happier, so it was a win-win. But as Vela hit her preteen years she began to pass her sister in magical abilities and chafe against her mother’s grasp. Hanina began to pit her daughter against each other. Often telling Mava that she should be more like her younger sister. Mava internalized this, but still saw her primary job to be protecting her siblings. It was only to make her better for her clan and family that yelled at her, Mava often said to herself. Hanna started fighting with Deshanna at this time, who could see how her sister was spiraling. This only made Hanina worse and harder to speak with rationally.

The two sisters got into a lot of fights usually over Vela’s tendency to wander from the clan, and not pay attention in studies. Even so Mava would never tell her mother about it, a part of her fearing the response. Cylus often got stuck in the middle of these fights, eternally the mediator. He studied under the Head Storyteller and thrived, weaving tales with songs. He was mostly forgot by his mother as he had no magic. The only time the three siblings got along and had fun were during clan dances. Mava and Vela were stand outs and in sync when dancing and Cylus loved singing and playing music.

In 9:30 during the blight, clan Lavellan was traveling past the border of Ferelden and was recruited into helping the Warden fight Darkspawn. Mava’s father Ethlam was killed helping in the battle. This was the breaking point for Hanina and her health deteriorated for the next several years. Mava stayed by her mother’s side the whole time and tried her best to keep the family together as her mother became more erratic.

In 9:35 she died. It was a mix of emotions for the siblings, but mostly guilt. She was supposed to protect her family, and why did it feel easier to breathe? She didn’t want to be keeper and now that her mother was dead she could almost admit that to herself. Vela and her stopped fighting for a few months, trying to process her passing. Mava came to one conclusion Vela another.

The eldest talked to her Keeper about making her sister the First over her. Vela was great at magic, charismatic, and comfortable taking charge. Her mother knew she was a better fit, she said so all the time, she was just too traditional to actually propose it! Deshanna tried to dissuade her student from the idea but Mava was determined. So she said if Vela agreed to it, she would allow it. So the two sisters met up outside camp to talk. It went about as well as the Keeper expected.

Horribly. Vela revealed that she was thinking of going to another clan, to get a fresh start. She had already talked to Cylus and Deshanna about it. That was fine, Mava argued, she could just become a First here if she wanted to be First. Vela refused, she didn’t want to stay. Mava argued that she should just stay and train to be First for a few more months to see it she liked it.

Vela shut it down, and blurted out that she wanted to leave the Dalish all together. This freaked Mava out completely, she became desperate, this was her mother’s worst fears come true. The escalated a conversation into a full blown fight, Mava terrified to go back into the role she was forced to be in all her life, and Vela wanting to have freedom in her life and choices. It got heated, literally. When Mava grabbed her sister’s arm, Vela let a burst of fire burning her.

Her left side was burnt badly, and Vela rushed her back to the clan. When asked about it Vela said human mages attacked them. This caused the clan to immediately start packing up to move while the Keeper stabilized Mava. When they started to move, Vela was gone.

Mava woke a month later, her burns still bad but better. She was nonverbal for the first week, her mind still in shock. Cylus was by her side as soon as she woke up. It. Was like when they were little, but reversed. Cylus would tell her everything happening in the clan. Stories, gossip, and all the interesting things in his life.

The clan settled for a while, Mava’s recovery meant that she couldn’t be far from the healers. And with them settled they welcomed more and more city elves into the clan. Mava refused to leave her tent for long, grappling with what she saw as her failure marked on her. She told no one the truth about how it happened, though she was sure her aunt suspected something.

One city elf that later joined the clan was Diya. She became a talented crafter and friends with Cylus. After much convincing he introduced the two, hoping that meeting others outside of the family would help her. He was right Diya was direct, honest, but still kind to Mava and the two got along super well. Mava got to passionately explain and educate the lore of the clan to Diya and Diya would bring gifts in return. She was a scholar of her craft in her own right, and the two enjoyed the other’s passion.

A year after the incident Mava began to return to some of her regular duties. Most of them were unrelated to magic. She was relieved, as after the argument Mava found she had trouble doing any kind of magic at all. It was the first time that Mava connected to many in her own clan. Her mother’s protective grasp prevented her from making more relationships. She had in her own time listened in when she could, an unquestionable eavesdrop. It made gauging how much she should know quite hard. She found that many of the clan saw her in a totally different light then she saw herself. Her own image warped by her mother’s parenting and harsh words.

In the years that followed she slowly gained confidence and tried to reconcile what exactly happened to her. She looked for her sister but no trace of her was ever found. No clan had seen her and no city elves had ever had a glance of her. In the meantime it turns out that Cylus and Diya had hit it off. Two years after they met, they were married, and Mava was thrilled for them. Soon after her niece Elgaris (Ellie) was born, and Mava was instantly smitten. She loved her and often took turns in taking care of her with her clan.

It was healing to see how the clan all gathered around the family and she couldn’t help but contrast it with how she was raised. At the age of 3 Ellie is discovered to have magic abilities. Mava pushes hard for her to remain with the other children her age, and only teaches her to control her power allowing her to learn on her own time.

In 9:41 Dragon Deshanna talks of giving Mava more serious duties, the first being attending the Exhalted Council in secret. She isn’t thrilled to leave her clan for so long, and still ill fit as a First but her Keeper assures her it will be a simple, but important task. And who is she to argue? It is her duty.

Then Inquisition happened.

[faejilly]

I'm sorry I forgot to post my "Tangential Tuesday" thing this week (or last week? Idk time is a lie) but I am 1: always accepting prompts and 2: STILL WORKING ON THINGS I PROMISE

Here, as proof, a teaser for the next bit of #wtf the clave is competent for @hopeswept (I mean, it's still before Malec meet in the Valentine-is-very-dead-verse, but we're getting closer!)

"And so it begins," a soft voice whispered behind him, and Alec turned just enough to catch his parabatai's eye and raised an eyebrow. She snorted at the expression on his face, and he would be willing to admit that he did feel better than he did five seconds ago. Maybe. Probably only to her or Izzy though, and they'd both already know so it wouldn't be admitting anything at all. He managed a serene nod, and Lydia swallowed another snort, discreetly enough he was reasonably sure he was the only one who noticed. Well, John would have, but he and Mary Elizabeth had insisted that all their peers help them take all the current trainees on an ‘exercise’ (camping trip) in Alicante, thus clearing out everyone who might interrupt a formal event with informal manners and fuck things up a little too much. It was very strange knowing he and Lydia were the youngest Shadowhunters currently in New York, and also about to be invested as Heads in front of the local Downworld. None of their instructors over the years had been locals, a purposeful decision to permit them a chance to fuck things up without leaving too terrible an impression with people they’d have to work with later; it felt almost standard, in fact, very similar to the way Nephilim usually transferred to a new Institute once they were of age. Except for them, the Circle Orphans who, despite their innocence, despite the way their parents had been removed from all the family histories, despite all Imogen’s claim of a fresh start… they were never going to be allowed anywhere else, nowhere further away from the Inquisitor’s control and the downworld’s judgement than New York City. Alec, whose appointment to the Headship of the New York Institute was more politics than anything else, but he’d made damned sure he was going to be able to take care of his people regardless. (Made damn sure if they were all trapped, they’d at least have one of their own to watch their backs.) And chosen his own parabatai and co-head along the way. Who wasn’t a Circle Orphan, whose parents had stayed the fuck away from Valentine and the Uprising, who had nevertheless decided to tie her fate to theirs. And not just so she could be Head of an Institute, though that certainly helped. (Especially since John wanted to be her Co-Head about as much as Alec wanted to marry a woman, and while occasionally there were exceptions, spouses or parabatai were pretty much the only people who could get invested as Heads, as those were partners you chose, partnerships blessed by the angels, even, if you took all the rune ceremonies literally.) Neither of them did, but that wasn’t something they were going to tell anyone, especially not if they wanted their parabatai bond to be respected enough to let them do their jobs. Especially not before they were Invested. It would be easy for Imogen to delay an investiture indefinitely; it was much more difficult to take a Headship away after it was granted. The clock chimed, and Alec breathed. The doors swung open, and he and Lydia clasped arms and walked into their future. Finally.

[seigephoenix]

No real spoilers for Veilguard mentioned here. It's mostly Finn finally admitting who his mother is.

Content Warning: Veilguard companions, family disfunction Length: 1.1k

Finn wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to how welcoming the Lighthouse was, given it used to belong to Solas.  His lips twisted into a frown as he remembered their last conversation.  It wasn’t surprising that Solas forgot his face, it had been eight years and he was no longer a teenager.  His mother always said he looked a lot like his father except for his eyes, which benefited him after he broke away from her.

“I didn’t realize how much pressure you must have been under Mum.  Doing this, being in charge here, gives me a lot better perspective.  Too bad I can’t apologize…” Finn leaned back against the chaise and sighed heavily.  He had done everything possible to severe all ties to Roisin Lavellan, Inquisitor.  He changed his name, ran to Arlathan, and became a Veil Jumper.  With the knowledge he’d gotten from the Inquisition, he rose quickly in their ranks.  Until it was either the map or the people.  Finn would always choose people.  No relic was worth people’s lives.  “Just like my mum before me.”

Finn looked up at the ceiling as he thought back to the past eight years.  He’d left when he was just seventeen, his mother hadn’t put up much of a fight.  He’d expected her anger and her stubbornness to keep him chained to her side, but she’d simply held out the pack for him with a warm smile.  That same smile she’d always had when she was speaking to him or about him.  Full of pride and love and it made him ache remembering it.  He hated to admit it, at twenty-five years old, but he missed his mother.  He’d kill for being able to ask her how she was able to shoulder the burdens she did.  He felt so heavy that he was sure they’d crush him soon enough.

The biggest joke would be on Solas when Finn decided to reveal who he was.  He remembered pestering him about the elven artifacts the Inquisition brought back.  Solas had always been patient with him, never had a sharp word to give him.  Finn had trusted him.  That was his mistake.  Finn let out a sigh.  When they found out he was Fen’Harel, it all made sense to him then.  The Dread Wolf.  Of course he would betray them, he lashed out at his mother for not seeing it.  For falling in love with the person responsible for the elves losing everything.  The fact she still loved him to this day irked Finn.  After all he did, his mother would willingly go back to him.

“I guess I can’t say that.  I don’t really know what she’d do now.  I haven’t spoken to her in eight years,” he mumbled to himself as he watched the water reflections on the ceiling dance and move.  He leaned back when he heard the door swing open and his eyes widened when Bellara stepped through nervously.  He scrambled to get to his feet with his heart pounding nervously in his chest.

“Bellara?”

“Oh!  There you are.  Umm, do you have a second?  I don’t want to interrupt.”  Finn shook his head and motioned towards the chair.

“Always for you.”  Her cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink before she sat down in the chair.  “What’s on your mind?”

“I noticed the way you tensed up earlier today when Harding brought up contacting the Inquisitor.”  Finn’s heart dropped.  “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”  Finn ran a hand through his hair, letting it fall back alongside his face with a heavy sigh.

“It’s…  Complicated.  If I am going to tell you, I may as well tell everyone.  Let’s gather everyone together and I’ll go over it.”  Bellara grabbed his hands.

“If it makes you uncomfortable, we don’t have to do this Finn.”  He shook his head and squeezed her fingers.

“It’s something I should have told you all long ago when this first started.  Come on.” Finn tugged until she was standing in front of him and he grinned down at her.

“Is it bad?”

“Depends on your definition of bad.  It won’t hurt anyone, that I can assure you.”  Bellara nodded and walked with him, keeping their fingers linked together.

Twenty Minutes Later

“Okay Rook, why’d you call us all together like this?” Taash asked leaning back in their chair.

“It’s something I should have said a long time ago.  I’ve been keeping a secret from you, and I regret that I let it go so long without telling you.” Finn rubbed the back of his head as the entire group scattered around the table tensed.  Assan laid his head in Finn’s lap with a soft, reassuring squawk.

“I dare say, will this be something that could harm our venture to stop the elven gods?” Emmrich asked and Finn shook his head.

“No.  It won’t have anything to do with that.  It’s more to do with Solas than anything else.”  That got their attention.  Finn ran a hand over Assan’s head smiling when he made contented squawks.  “I’ll start with saying Finn Aldwir is not my real name.”

“You mean to tell us we’ve been calling you be the wrong name this whole time?” Neve asked casually.

“Just my last name,” he said and took a reassuring breath.  “My last name isn’t Aldwir.”

“Okay?  Then what is it?  Why the hesitation?  I don’t get it,” Taash said glaring when Harding tried to shush them.

“It’s Lavellan.”  Silence descended on the group, but it was Harding that spoke up first.

“FINN!?”

“You’re related to Inquisitor Lavellan!?” Bellara asked excitedly.  Finn cast a glance to the side.  “Were you in her clan?  I know they had some difficulties while she was Inquisitor.”  Finn shared a pleading look with Harding who merely grinned.  “Harding?”

“Come on Finn, I don’t think anyone will judge you here.” Harding straightened in her spot as the others waited somewhat patiently for Finn to expand upon what he said.

“Inquisitor Roisin Lavellan…” Finn felt his throat grow tight.  He hadn’t said the words in eight years, but it felt right.  It felt like he could finally say the words.  “Is my mother.”

“Wait…” Neve began as the information wove together in her mind.  “If your mother is Inquisitor Lavellan.  Then you’re connected to Solas?”

“Yes.  He didn’t recognize me, thank the creators for small favors,” Finn admitted.

“I can see why.  You don’t look a thing like you did when you were in the Inquisition.” Harding saw everyone glance her way.  “I didn’t recognize him either,” she said with a grin.  “You don’t look a thing like your mom, but now that I look…”

“I have her eyes.  Yeah, everyone always said that.” Harding laughed and agreed as Finn smiled.

“So this was your big secret?” Davrin asked.  Finn nodded.  “Huh, well then I guess getting into ancient elven shit runs in the family.”  Finn burst out laughing at Davrin’s words.

“I suppose it does.”

[shrinkthisviolet]

Yesssssss a fellow Reva stan!!! Omg the fandom has done her so dirty, despite the fact that in my opinion, she's among the best, most complex characters out of the new Star Wars canon. I love her so much, it's unreal.

LITERALLYYYY she deserves so much better. One thing that irked me in particular (which I mentioned in the tags of one of my reblogs) is how similar she and Anakin are (in temperament, moreso—passionate, fearless, and forthright), yet so many people love Anakin, while so many people criticize Reva. Even though, objectively, Reva is a better person than Anakin is (and I like Anakin as a character, but that’s just the truth).

So many people criticize how she walked away from a duel with Vader (he was toying with her, morons, that’s why) and how she survived so long after being stabbed (Maul, Anakin, and Sabine, anyone?), people even criticized her throughout the whole show for “knowing” things she supposedly had no way of knowing…but of course, the show explained all that (this show in general slots neatly into canon, but the way fans were criticizing it from DAY ONE as though they forgot the concept of patience…).

Now ofc the fact that she was a high-ranking Inquisitor means she did kill Jedi to get there. Absolutely. She’s not a saint or anything, and I don’t think anyone is saying so. But people criticize her for this as though she didn’t turn away from that. The whole point is that after the Kenobi series, she’s on a path to redemption!! Because she does need redemption!! But she also didn’t do anything on the scale of what Vader did (second-in-command and enforcer of the Empire hello his hands are WAY bloodier). She should be easier to redeem tbh…and her redemption could possibly be more of an absolution than Vader’s was (because as much as I do subscribe to the idea that ROTJ was Vader’s redemption…it wasn’t absolution. He could’ve only achieved that if he’d lived and made efforts for decades)

I do have plans for her in the Lucy AU btw 👀 nebulous plans so far, but…you might remember that Lucy has seen Reva’s face and stood in front of Luke against her? Yeah, that’s not an isolated incident. That’s gonna come back (and it has, ofc, but I mean it’s gonna come back in a big way)

[exalted-dawn-drabbles]

happy friday beloved💜💜💜 because I am self indulgent I come requesting Talenna & Neria pls🥺👉👈 “I accidentally punched a Templar. A few times. At least ten.”?

WELP I TOOK A PERFECTLY GOOD PROMPT AND TURNED IT ANGSTY! I GUESS THIS IS JUST HOW I BE?????? ENJOY?????? JKBWJKHFBWFEBHK (At least Neria gets a nice cry and a hug out of it?) For @dadrunkwriting

Rated G: Angst, Emotional Breakdowns, Hurt/Comfort, ~1.3k words

Bloody Knuckles & Heavy Gifts | Exalted_Dawn

When Neria stormed into the room, Talenna had to admit it was something of a challenge to keep her expression blank.

Her friend wore agitation like a heavy cloak across her back, but even so, imaginary cloaks were hardly good for hiding away the troubled furrow in her brow, or the blood dripping from her bruised fists. Talenna watched on silently as the Inquisitor swept past her, no words of greeting spoken nor sign of acknowledgement that she even realized the storyteller was sitting in the middle of her chambers, and collapsed heavily into the chair behind her desk.

She raised her bloodied hands to her face, pressed them hard to her eyes, and then sighed. “I forgot we had lunch planned.”

“Aye, I figured,” Talenna said, careful to keep her tone light and impassive. She sat by their favorite spot near the fireplace, Neria’s marble topped tea table in front of her and laden with various types of food. When she’d first arrived to find the room empty, Talenna had simply assumed Neria’s war meeting had gone late. Knowing that her friend would likely be famished by the time she returned, she had called for a servant to prepare the food anyway, and set about distracting herself until then. At first, the storyteller took her time arranging the furniture, and then the meal, once that had been brought in. And when there was no sign of Neria, even after that, she had decided to snoop through the Inquisitor’s belongings a bit– mostly her books– to pass the time. But before long, she had run through the shelves, and then the cabinets, and Neria still hadn't shown. 

That had been about almost an hour ago. 

“I decided to get some work done while I waited,” she continued, holding up a small stack of papers that she’d taken to transcribing notes on as of late before gently placing them beside a platter of cold rabbit. She nodded to Neria’s hands, her voice still even. “Is that your blood?”

It took Neria a few seconds to answer. “No.”

“...One of the advisors?” Talenna hazarded, though that seemed like a stretch. Even the Commander couldn’t fuck shite up that poorly, surely.

Her friend barked a hollow laugh and shook her head.

Talenna stared after Neria for a moment longer, waiting for her to explain, but the Inquisitor only sunk further into her chair. It would seem their shared lunch would have to wait a little longer.

With a quiet exhale, Talenna stood and walked over to the giant, wooden desk, perching herself upon its edge. She held out her hand, palm up, and kicked Neria’s chair lightly in demand of attention. “Give me your hands.”

“I wasn’t injured-”

 “And I wasn’t asking. Give me your hands, lethal’lan,” Talenna repeated, her voice flat and challenging. This time, Neria did as told.

Talenna looked closely over the ridges of her friend’s knuckles, swiping away the blood with her glove to better see beneath. Contrary to Neria’s claims, the bones were already starting to bruise, and some of them had been battered raw enough to break skin. It didn’t appear to be a serious injury, but it was hardly a pretty thing. Talenna scowled and closed her free hand over the wounds, her fingers glowing teal as they gently traced the gashes. “Liar,” she snorted beneath her breath, her lips curling. “Now- are you going to tell me what really happened, or am I to spend the rest of my evening throwing daggers at the dark? Would it be overly optimistic of me to guess ‘Corypheus’?”

By the stiff twitch of Neria’s lips, Talenna guessed that her friend was trying desperately to stay angry in the face of her jokes, and was perhaps a bit annoyed that she was failing to do so. But seemingly after a moment of internal debate, the clouded, stubborn look cleared from Neria’s green eyes, and her muscles relaxed at last. The Inquisitor shook her head, her braid flicking behind her, and slouched forward against Talenna’s shoulder. “I… may have accidentally punched a Templar. A few times. At least ten.”

“‘Accidentally’?” If Neria hadn’t looked so tired, Talenna might have laughed at the confession, but instead managed to keep her amusement to a single raised eyebrow. “And was this Templar that you accidentally punched by any chance also a mage-hating arsehole?”

“Second time public offender,” she confirmed, her voice a low growl. “You’d think with me being a mage and all that they might learn to get over it, but there are certain individuals within the ranks that seem set on proving otherwise.” Neria paused, as if considering whether or not to say more, her forehead pushing harder against Talenna’s collar. “...There was an incident in the courtyard, and I was called in to deal with it. Ir abelas. I’m sorry for missing lunch.” 

Talenna tried not to wince at the slight pain that rang in her bones at the pressure, instead switching her attention to Neria’s other hand in the hope that maintaining the spell would keep her distracted. “You hardly need to apologize to me, lethal’lan. I work with them- I know how trying they can be better than most. If I had even a lick of strength in my arms, Creators know how many men I may have pummeled by now.”

If the thought amused her any, Neria didn’t let it show this time. Her head remained firmly planted in the curve of Talenna’s shoulder, the glow of dull green-blue light casting her slouched form in harsh relief. Silence stretched a taut bowstring, drawn and one slip from snapping. It was disconcerting to see Neria so defeated. The woman was notorious for baring all her stresses with a spiteful smile, not… this. 

Talenna had been about to resign herself to the suffocating quiet when she felt the faintest of twitches beneath her fingers. As if cradling a fragile bird made from paper or glass, Neria’s hands moved to gently grip the storyteller’s, and the light of the healing spell grew dim beneath their joined palms. “Are you…” She paused, whispered words caught behind clenched teeth, and swallowed. “...Do you feel safe here at Skyhold, Tal?”

Talenna stilled, her focus faltering. Her spell flickered like a dying flame. “...Most days.”

She felt Neria shudder against her, and her grip went tight. “Ir abelas, lethal’lan. I-” The sentence was lost in a strangled sob, and then another. “I’m not- ”

Whatever Neria had been about to say was lost in the folds of her scarf, stifled into nothingness as Talenna wrapped her arms around her friend and tugged her in tight to a hug. ‘Good’ she thought. Talenna doubted that she would have much agreed with what was meant to be spoken anyways. 

After all, she wasn’t one for lies or slander about her friends, even when self inflicted. 

“It’s alright, lethal’lan.” She spoke low, in soft reassurances, her words smoothed over by each pass of her hand across Neria’s trembling back. “You don’t need to apologize. Not to me.”

She felt Neria’s fists fist tighter into the folds of her tunic. “I’ll be better. I promise I will.”

Talenna felt sick. Such earnest words, sturdy and unyielding as the oak, but they were the wrong ones. Talenna shook her head, and snarled, “That is not necessary.”

“I promise you,” she said instead, digging herself deeper. Rooting herself firmly in her own oath. “I promise.” 

She repeated those words again and again in endless refrain as her tears stained Talenna’s clothes. Each one given worse than the last. Some were spoken in apology. Others in anger. But mostly, they were just weighed with guilt. Terrible and unforgiving guilt. 

Talenna held her friend through it all, accepting each apology as it came. Such awful, heavy gifts they were, and she wanted none of them. 

But she took them anyway. If only to spare her friend the weight.

[engagemythrusters]

okay. ahsoka ep 3.

i already know jacen is in this bc i got SPOILED but let me tell you im gonna still be shocked anyway skldjflkd

k here we go

These introductions are pointless. Like we saw the last ep last week. If we forgot we can just look it up.

OH WOW she’s hot

“Not bad but not good” WOW HUYANG. Oh wow this guys comin for Sabines whole LIFE here damn

Um ig Ahsoka forgot that Mandalorians can hold their own against jedi just damn fine? Sabine once beat KANAN

Ahsoka: okay time to pretend to be Kanan

UH OKAY. UM. “I can’t see how am I supposed to fight” WAS A STUPID LINE TO GIVE TO SABINE WREN, THE WOMAN RAISED BY KANAN JARRUS, A NOTABLE BLIND JEDI

God can you imagine being stupid enough to give that line to her? Did filoni or Favreau write that line? Sounds on par with how idiotic those two dipshits are. Like that is so stupid. Who is that STUPID.

That’s like an anti-Kanan reference. That’s fucking Kanan retconning.

God I’m so MAD.

Honest to god I’m kinda glad this is only 30 mins long this time. I’m fucjing mad.

She fights like Sabine though. I love this actress for her. She’s doing Sabine so well. Thank you <3

Nyooooom

is mON MOT—SHE IS

Hooray chancellor mothma

JACEN!!!!!

I mean in name only so far but still. My lil snow pea boy

“Causing trouble with chopper” I’m so glad that droid is giving the galaxy hell with multiple generations of syndullas. Here’s to chopper outliving us all

HEY SHUT UP ABOUT HRR FINDING HER SON

She should be allowed to find her son the war hero at any costs

GET HIS ASS

“People who were like family to me” okay uh so that’s a workaround for saying Kanan? But Kanan wasn’t even killed by

JACEN

“Aunt” WHAT

She’s his SISTER

He looks a little like Kanan would have looked. AND NOTHING LIKE HERA (enter usual rant about PISS POOR CHARACTER DESIGN)

Also like. He wants to be a jedi 😭

LIKE HIS FATHER BEFORE HIM 😭

God that look. She’s thinking of Kanan 😭😭😭

“Everyone could be a jedi” is the STUPIDEST TAKE

God i hate this fucking show

And I fucking hate filoni and Favreau so. Fuckingn. Much.

Huyang does NOT like Sabine

And he’s right about jedi and force wielders

She’s so cute I love u Sabeeen <3

T-6 shuttle shot

I love u T-6 shuttles

Wow those are fuckin… old ass ships. Clone war era.

I mean T-6 is even older but I love it so. I do not care.

Also hang on rewind a sec to the “few mandalorians have ever been jedi” okay how do you KNOW that. The two of you have been at odds so much for so long that I’m sure millions went by unnoticed by the jedi

Downgraded from Spheres In Space to fucking Circle In Space 🙄

I love Huyang he’s a bitch

Oh T-6 shuttle they’re really in it now

Oop floaty in space

Huyang out for the count again xoxo

Shin Hati is such a little shit and I ADORE her

She space-suited up in 3 seconds or some shit. God I hate sci fi.

Get yourself ahsoka you’re the dumbass who chose to stand outside

Shin Hati 👁 👁 fr

Oh

My

God

P U R R G I L

Ezra are u there?! 😭😭😭😭

okay after the initial AAAA umm yeah I’m thoroughly disappointed

The purrgil looked so BEAUTIFUL in design and colour and pattern in Rebels… only to be Giant Grey Things in this show?

God I fucking HATE this show.

Anyway half this episode is literally just space fighting. That’s so stupid.

I do like tbis planet. It’s dull and drab like everything else this show has done BUT at least the aesthetic of this one is meant to be dark and drab and dull

Anyway can they go back and follow the fucking purrgil yet

Mr Inquisitor I kind of hope you’re someone cool we already know. That’s a cool trope that I want to see in canon. If not that’s okay I want a cool inquisitor anyway.

So they’re meant to pick up thrawns ship? Like the way Jedi ships used to—

The way DT says purrgil has shocked me to near silence

That’s so funny it’s great and hard in his voice

So yeah that was stupid and awful and it’s good that was only 30 mins of disappointment rather than fucking 50 or whatever

Still love the vibes of this outtro tho. Wish the rest of the show was this cool.

now we just need -rex - ezra - direct kanan mention (like NAMED)

[ramblinganthropologist]

Aftermath

Summary: After an adventure with a dragon, Kaaras has a headache. Here comes Dorian to make it worse. Damn it, you think he’d take “I’m not a mage” for an answer...

---

It was a lovely day and he wanted to stop existing.

“You’re shitting me, I missed him taking the dragon out?”

Iron Bull’s voice boomed over the tavern and rang in Kaaras’ ears. Normally, he didn’t like going to the Herald’s Rest. When it came down to it, he wasn’t a fan of noise. Plus, the place smelled like spilled booze. That was another reason he tried to avoid it at all costs. Unfortunately for him, he hadn’t had a choice in the matter that time. Once the Qunari had spotted him, all bets had been off – in he went, tugged by his favorite in-law to be without much chance of protest.

Thus he found himself at a table with the rest of the Chargers, a mug of mead in hand and a head poised on a migraine. Bull had recovered remarkably well after his encounter with the dragon – he didn’t even have any scars. No doubt he was disappointed about that. He often said the scars made him look even more badass. Unfortunately for him, first aid had been one of the trainings he had failed the least at.

He had still failed, mind you, but not as bad as he had failed at being a hunter’s apprentice. He still had nightmares about that.

“Yeah, it was pretty sick to see him throw the bomb into its eye socket like that.” Jackel was perched on top of a seat, the better to observe and to be closer to her lover. She too had a mug, though smaller than his. She could do a lot, but they definitely had different abilities to drink. Still, she could hold her own.

So… that was what they were going with. Good to know.

Kaaras allowed a careful sip as Rocky’s appreciative eyes found him, and he nodded back. Sometimes, he forgot his cover story. Sure, he knew explosives better than anyone in Clan Lavellan and had been the sapper of Valo Kas before winding up Inquisitor, but it had all started as a story. After all, if things exploded around him, it was a good excuse.

People didn’t need to know the real reason.

“You’d have to be insane to throw a bomb into a dragon’s skull.” The dwarf nodded towards him. “What’d you use, Adaar?”

The whole table groaned – probably because they were expecting a tech talk between two demolition nerds. They weren’t the only one – Kaaras paused as his mind scrambled. What had he kept in his pouch that day? Would it have been enough to blow things up? Would it even blow up in the combo he suggested? Would -

“I believe it was something small that packed quite a punch. At least, it looked that way to me when he threw it.”

A new voice made his ears pick up. Kaaras’ heart jumped to his throat as he saw Dorian approach at an easy enough pace. For a split second, he relaxed – but then he saw the man’s eyes. There was a question there, one that he didn’t want to answer.

He wouldn’t try it in the tavern, would he? He had more tact than that…

Jackel’s form stiffened as she watched him make his way over to the table. Her knuckles were white around the handle of her mug, either to keep herself from throwing it at him or stabbing him when nobody was watching. At least she paused to take a drink – hopefully she wouldn’t spit it at him as a distraction.

“Well, looks like the staff nerd pulled through.”

Her words held daggers in them, and the look in her eyes promised they’d never find the body if he said the wrong thing. Kaaras had seen the look countless times, and even witnessed the after effects. She was… creative.

He liked Dorian, but… well, he might have to agree with his cousin.

If Dorian picked out the meaning, he didn’t mind. He just smiled in that way that made Kaaras’ stomach churn horribly. “Yes, the healers here are quite advanced. I see they managed to get Bull back to working order as well. Too bad they didn’t leave any scars, no?”

“Yeah, they’re a little too good.” There was a hint of a sulk in the Qunari’s voice, but he lightened up. “You here for a drink, Pavus? We could find a place at the table for you, looks like the boss has some space by him.”

An appreciative low chuckle rumbled through the Chargers. Like their boss, they weren’t blind – they saw how he and Dorian interacted. No doubt they all thought they were doing him a favor, maybe they considered it a way to work a bet to their pocket’s advantage. Unfortunately for them, Kaaras wasn’t in the mood. His heart was pounding way too fast for that as he swallowed down the rest of his drink.

It was a bad idea – there was a reason he didn’t drink much. Immediately, his head began to pound. His tongue loosened, he groaned slightly and held around the area of his left horn. Looks like he was getting that headache after all.

“You don’t look too good, Kaaras.” Dorian’s voice was soft as he extended his hand. “I can walk you back to your quarters if you want.”

He wanted to say no, but the headache lowered his ambitions. In the end, he pushed away from the table and made his way over to the mage. His ears burned at the sound of a wolf whistle from one of the Chargers – or maybe it was Sera? It sounded far away – but he ignored that in favor of leaving the Herald’s Rest behind.

Outside, it was quieter, and a cool mountain breeze blew through the open space between the tavern and Skyhold proper. Apart from the distant noise of plate mail clinking in the distance from a guard on patrol, it was quiet. His head was glad for it as he sidled along, keeping his eye on the ground.

“You really don’t handle your drink well, Kaaras.” Dorian’s voice was soft as they started up the stairs to his quarters. “I guess you didn’t drink a lot when you were a mercenary.”

Kaaras risked a shake of his head – at least it didn’t make things worse. “No, I don’t like how it makes my head feel. I need to keep my wits about me anyway.”

Control was part of his cover too – if it slipped, bad things happened. He had learned that well enough over the years.

“A respectable line of thought.” They entered his quarters and Kaaras found the bed. Dorian stood by the desk, giving them space to breathe. “Though… I believe you know I had ulterior motives to walking you back.”

Of course.

Kaaras felt his stomach shift, and it wasn’t from the booze. The events of a few days prior flashed through his mind – the dragon, Dorian’s staff, and the energy that coursed through his veins as he aimed a clumsy spell at its head. If not for the mage’s proper barrier, they would’ve been hurt.

After all… he wasn’t a mage. He just had a few special effects.

“Jackel’s story about the bomb was inspired. No doubt she’s telling Rocky what kind now.” Dorian frowned. “I don’t understand why she lies about it, though. I thought the Dalish admired mages.”

He winced despite himself. “We do, they’re our leaders.”

“Does that mean you’re going to lead your clan one day, or does that honor go to your brother?” The man cocked his head to the side. “Why hide your magic, though? It isn’t as though you’re Andrastian like the rest here.”

Kaaras’ heart was pounding so hard he was sure his binder was the only thing keeping it in. Right then, all he wanted to do was run away and hide. This was something that never ended well for him to say the least.

Ataashi had never spoken to him again after he’d found out…

His mouth was dry as he tried to speak. “I’m not a mage, Dorian.”

“Kaaras, I know walking bomb when I feel it.” His eyes were sharp. “I felt your energy on my staff.”

Fuck.

There was no way out of this – Dorian was near the exit. The balcony led to the mountains – he’d definitely die if he jumped. No doubt the man would’ve stopped him anyway if he had tried, and even with the size difference he’d probably be successful.

So he was trapped.

“Kaaras?”

The qunari’s shoulders sagged as his strength left him. He felt his weight sink into the bed, as if he weighed a thousand pounds. Time had slowed in that moment, as if the entire world had stopped spinning.

This was why he tried not to develop feelings for people. It always ended badly.

“I… look, there’s five mages in clan Lavellan. We have enough.” He swallowed hard, as if he was trying to get down ground glass. “I’m just… an oddity, I guess.”

Oddity – that was the best way to put it. After all, he had been nearly 17 when he’d first had that disastrous blast of magic. Mages developed long before that – his brother certainly had. By the time they were his age, they had control. They were proper spellcasters, not idiots with a bit of strange energy that set things on fire by mistake.

He needed to remind himself of that more often.

Kaaras shrugged and regretted it as his head ached. “I worked with my Uncle Boralas. Neither of us are mages, but he knows how to keep accidents from happening around explosives. Along the way he taught me demolition.”

Why he was using Uncle Bori’s full name, he wasn’t sure – it felt odd on his tongue. Maybe it was how serious the moment felt.

“The Chantry isn’t going to be thrilled to hear the Dalish know their way around explosives.” Dorian’s tone was hard to pick out, but he didn’t sound too annoyed by the prospect – maybe it was due to him being from Tevinter? – but he wasn’t finished. “But… that was magic, Kaaras. You might deny it, but only a mage can use a staff like that.”

He could still remember how it had felt clutched in his hand, how the grain of the wood had dug into his palm, calling for his meager energy. It was like the call of the void, only stronger as it pulled him into oblivion. Wordlessly, it had screamed to him – use me.

It was hard to ignore, even now. But he had to – the alternative was far too dangerous to even consider. So he pushed it down, back to where it stewed, hopefully to stay put this time. The last thing he needed was for it to come out again.

“I’m just strange, Dorian, there’s nothing more to it.” He did his best to offer a fake smile, but even he knew it didn’t reach his eyes. “Besides, could you imagine the reaction if it were true? It’s bad enough I’m half qunari, how would the Chantry react that their Herald was a Dalish mage?”

Heads would roll, possibly literally. As much as he would’ve wanted to see it happen… reality was another story.

Dorian frowned a little, but in the end he sighed. “I suppose that is true.  You are on a bit of thin ice with the faithful.”

“That’s putting it mildly.” Kaaras allowed a snort of self-depreciating mirth, which only made his head throb. “Oww… shouldn’t have done that.”

Next to him, the mage shifted and allowed him to lay back. “I’m going to guess that’s not a preemptive hangover brewing there.”

Another shake only made his head hurt worse, but he did it. “No, it’s been brewing since we got back. I should probably try to sleep it off, I’m no good to anyone like this.”

Or in general usually�� but he wasn’t going to say that. He had learned from his time in Valo-Kas that people didn’t like when he talked about himself like that. They got weird looks on their faces and he usually got a lecture after.

At least Dorian turned to allow him to shrug out of his binder and crawl back under the blanket. Much to his relief, the mage dimmed the magelight hanging by his bed, allowing him some comforting darkness to sleep in. With the whistle of the wind outside, it was almost comfortable.

Almost, as long as you ignored the pounding in his head and the fact Dorian knew now.

“Sleep well, Kaaras. If you need me…” he hesitated, and from the sound of things he was by the stairs. “You can find me in the library. Your brother’s pulled ahead in his reading and I cannot let that stand unchallenged.”

He would have laughed, but his head hurt. Instead, Kaaras felt his eyes close as he did his best to sleep off the headache blooming behind his eyes. At least like this, he didn’t have to worry about what was going on or anything other than the pain. For once, he welcome that as he slipped away into a dream. He needed that much.

---

The next time Kaaras was conscious, the sun had shifted behind the mountains and the sky had gone dark. From his window, he could see part of June’s Hammer if he squinted – though that was mostly from memory. After all, he wasn’t wearing his glasses.

Yawning, he sat up. His head still hurt, but it wasn’t to meltdown levels. Like this, he could get work done if need be. And oh, did he ever – after all, he was technically leading a holy army of Andrastians.

That alone was a headache, but he pushed it aside in favor of glancing around.

Like Dorian had said, he had left to go battle his brother in the library over who had finished what book first. It was a stupid competition, but it kept them busy, and their head librarian didn’t mind digging out the rare volumes to sate their spiteful curiosity. If they found out something useful, all the better. He just hoped they kept their gloating quiet – they tended to bother the other people in the library.

“Maybe I’ll go see how he’s doing.” Kaaras bent down to grab his binder, but paused as he glanced across the room. Even in the darkness, he could see there was something there, propped against his desk and waiting for him. “What’s that?”

Curious, he left his binder on the floor and padded across the room. Just like he thought, there was something set there for him. His heart leapt straight to his throat as he picked out the details, wondering if this was just some bad dream.

But no. It was a long piece of wood with metal fittings and a dark purple stone on top.  Even worse, it came with a note.

“Dorian, I swear to the Creators…” Kaaras’ fingers trembled as he untied the note from the staff, the light brush enough to cause tingles up his spine. Unsurprisingly, the note was in the man’s neat handwriting, and even in the dark he could read it.

Kaaras,

Forgive me for my insistence. I said the staff was for your brother when I got it, something about him breaking his, so there’s no need to worry about others finding out.

While I don’t understand, I felt enough power that day to know you need proper training. I found a book from the library that should help you, but if you need further insistence we can work something out. You can find me in the library.

-        Dorian

Despite everything, Kaaras grit his teeth as he glanced down at the book and staff waiting for him. He might have liked the man, but Dorian was pissing him off in the moment. Right then, he wanted nothing more than to throw both off the balcony and forget it had ever happened.

But he didn’t. After all, it was a library book. Trevy would want it back unharmed. She’d get it tomorrow – he’d think of an excuse as to why he had it later.

“I guess I should have explained better.” He sighed and closed his eyes. “I don’t have any need of these, I’m not a mage…”

It was easy to say with the years of practice behind it. He could almost believe it most days. But that was the thing about his little accidents – the chance of them happening again after a dry spell went up if he was annoyed. And oh, was he. Maybe that was why he wasn’t too surprised when the paper in his hands caught fire, bringing light to the dark room.

At least he had the sense to throw this in the fireplace before it burned anything, his hands included.

“Elgar’nan’s balls…” Kaaras shook his head as he picked up the staff and tucked it out of sight, far in the back of a closet where he wouldn’t have to look at it. If anyone asked, it was his brother’s. “Maybe I should just stay in until I calm down… can’t have any more accidents.”

The tingle still dancing under his skin was proof of that as he sat back down on his bed to breathe and remember what his uncle had taught him. As much as he trained, he would always have to risk accidents.

Maybe it would’ve been easier if he was actually a mage – but then again, that probably would’ve made his job harder. Talk about being between a rock and a hard place…

[sleepy-sunlight]

Hey have you been busy or have you not been getting many requests? I miss your writing! If you have the time could you write something where the inquisitor has a child (around 5 years old) and the child stays with Cullen and the others at Skyhold whenever the Inquisitor is away? Thanks, I hope you've been doing well 💞💞

I’m a mix of busy and living for the next time I sleep so it’s been a bit messy life-wise but I’m trying to start things back up! Ideally, I’m trying to set up a Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule where I post a prompt on one of my three blogs each day because I should be totally free during those days!  

Anyways, thank you for your patience, and have a fantastic day!

———————————————————————————————————–

Cullen grew up the second oldest of four. Most of his early childhood was spent parceling out responsibilities for watching over Branson and Rosalie with Mia.  

Branson was the epitome of what his mother had liked to call a ‘wild child’. He’d climb up to the tallest trees in Honnleath and when he found himself too high to properly come back down his solution was to swing from the branches until they broke. One could only guess how well that turned out.  

Rosalie on the other hand was a fan of collecting every insect or small animal that crossed her way. Cullen could still remember the yelps his mother would try to hide at the sight of Rosalie holding a long, winding centipede in her palms. The worst was a feral fox cub that’d subsequently became loose in the house. That’d been an eventful evening.  

Neither sibling was ‘ideal’, but he supposed even he had his own faults.  

Nevertheless, it made Cullen oddly ideal with children. For all his military abilities and fighting talent, most were astonished at how in the snap of one’s fingers, Cullen could stop even the worst wailing from a child. Josephine once said she’d “pay him double his Inquisition salary to babysit her siblings.”  

Cullen had responded with “what salary?”  

Considering money was Josephine’s department, the subject was swiftly dropped.  

However, that didn’t take away from the actual babysitting Cullen found himself in.  

Very few, after all, expected the Inquisitor to have a child.  

Your child’s name was Olivia – just five years old and more of a firecracker than you were. Her hair was often in braids, so for all her running and scrambling about, she wouldn’t get caught on anything. For her birthday Varric had given her a little yellow ribbon, and she’d wear it to sleep if you didn’t insist otherwise.

She was a troublesome little thing, but she was one of the few bright things in your world, and you clearly treasured her. She’d race to you as fast as her legs could carry her when you’d return to Skyhold and every time you’d scoop her up in your arms and swing her until you both were left dizzy and stumbling throughout the courtyard. No matter where you went you always came back with something for her, and whether a fanciful toy or simply a flower, Olivia adored it.

She even had a secret hiding place for all the presents you brought her. She’d shown Cullen one evening and despite knowing just about every detail of the gifts, he’d still ask like it was the first time he’d ever laid eyes on them.  

Curiously enough, Olivia had a fondness for the Commander. Often times when you and Cullen would take walks along the barracks Olivia would follow behind, holding loosely onto the end of his shroud. She liked it especially when each of you would hold one of her hands and swing her back and forth. It was… domestic in a sense. Far more than Cullen ever expected for himself.  

He’d hardly even expected to meet someone like you – so full of life and passion for all that you did. You were a breath of fresh air in the coldness he’d so well known. Cullen hoped Olivia hadn’t noticed how he stared but she was nosy – she took that from you.  

She’d been given plenty of opportunities to be nosy since you’d left, asking Cullen specifically to watch over her.  

“I won’t be long,” You’d told him the evening before you left. “But there are reports of red templars making advancements towards a village and I-”  

“I know,” Cullen hesitated but set a hand on your shoulder. He didn’t know if his smiles helped you at all, but he offered one anyway. “You don’t need to explain. I’ll help however I can, including taking care of Olivia.”  

You let out a sigh of relief and laughed. “Thank you I-” You couldn’t figure the words and so instead hugged him, winding your arms around his neck. “You’re the best.”  

He was left stunned for a moment. It wasn’t like he’d experienced much affection in his life once he’d left for the Templar order – so much as a hug was almost foreign to him.  However hesitantly, he managed to return the gesture. His hovering hands shifting to hold you tight.

He forgot how much he missed such a simple thing as a hug.  

You left shortly thereafter both of you a little sheepish but warmhearted, nonetheless. Olivia followed you to Skyhold’s gates, holding your hand but still stumbling to keep up despite her best efforts. When you knelt to meet her, she nearly ran right into you, only caught by your grip shifting to her shoulders.  

“Woah there, soldier!” You laughed softly. “You know you can’t come with me.”  

Olivia immediately began to pout. “But I’ll be good! I promise!”  

“It’s not a matter of being good, it’s dangerous.” You smiled warmly, squeezing her shoulders. “Even for the toughest kid around! You got to stay here, keep everyone safe.”  

Before Olivia could object you spoke once more, lowering your voice to a whisper. “In fact, I’ve got a super-secret mission for you. I need you to personally look after Commander Cullen – keep him out of trouble.”  

Olivia shot a quick glance to Cullen who stood a little way off, pretending to look at a set of reports.  

“Okay! I know you like him!”  

Cullen had to work very hard not to look up and see your expression in that moment. But he supposed he wouldn’t want you to see how red he’d become either. At the very least, he heard a gasp.

“I-It’s ah – it’s our little secret though! Don’t forget, okay?”  

Olivia nodded. “I won’t!”  

“Promise?”  

Olivia huffed. “I promise!”  

You chuckled. “Alright, alright. I love you, Olivia.”  

Cullen looked up to see Olivia jump up to hug you, burying her head in the crook of your neck and failing to hide the tiniest sniffle. She always hated seeing you go.  

“I love you too.”  

With a wave of your hand, you and the rest of your team left. Olivia refused to budge an inch before you disappeared beyond sight. Even then she only moved a few steps forward, perhaps in hopes to catch one last glimpse of you.  

“Miss them already, do you?” Cullen approached the child steadily, making his heavy boots clearly known to not startle her. He even spoke quietly.  

Olivia gave a meek nod, wiping at her eyes quickly.

Cullen pretended not to see – if she was anything like you it’d only make her more embarrassed.  

“I miss them too.” Cullen said. “But while they’re gone… would you want to sneak a few extra treats from the kitchen? I won’t tell if you don’t.”  

Olivia perked up just a tad. Cullen offered his hand that practically swallowed Olivia’s when she accepted it. But she smiled.  

“Okay.”  

She hid an entire extra loaf of cinnamon bread in Cullen’s shroud. It was awful, thinking of the sugar and sticky cinnamon that was sure to attract insects of all sort, but worth it. She giggled the whole time, and still considered it an ‘extreme scheme’ even though no one cared and at least three kitchen-maids watched them the entire time – pretending to hide little Olivia from everyone else.  

She didn’t even bother to have the bread cut into slices, sitting in his office breaking it apart in chunks and pieces.  

“I can cut it if you want, you know.” Cullen told her, his brows furrowed.  

“No, I like it this way. It’s a surprise every time!” Olivia raised her head to the Commander, swinging her legs in the seat across his desk. “Do you want some? I’ll share, but you can’t tell Varric! He’ll get jealous.”  

“Why would he-” Cullen immediately remembered Varric’s proud title as Olivia’s ‘partner in crime’ and found the answer for himself.  

Admittedly Cullen would’ve said no. He never had much of a sweet tooth. However, Olivia clearly wanted to give him a piece and already had two corners of the bread pinched between her fingers to give him. It was just something a person couldn’t say no to.  

“I’d love a piece.”  

It was just as sugary and sappy as he’d imagined.  

“Oi, metal britches!”  

The yelling came a few hours later, when evening started to paint the sky overhead and the sun dripped in through his windows. It didn’t take a genius to recognize Sera.  

She nearly kicked the door in, and as if that wasn’t enough, slammed her firsts against his desk with enough ferocity to shake the very earth. The mischievous glint in her eyes was anything but good.  

“As appealing as the name ‘metal britches’ is, could we try another name next time?” Cullen frowned. “Perhaps my real one?”  

“Nah, I like this one better. Listen, I’ve got this great idea for an ambush on this Orlesian snobs – and I know you hate Orlesians just as much so I was thinking I could get your head of your ar-”  

Cullen nearly jumped out of his seat trying to stop Sera. “Reserve the language for when children aren’t around?”  

“Wha-” Sera wrinkled her nose only to twist her head and see little Olivia, watching Sera with the utmost awe. Olivia happened to look up to Sera with her ‘fun-loving’ pranks. It brought comfort when you were gone. “Oh! Pipsqueak! I was wondering where you’d run off to!”  

She peered over to see the last bits of the cinnamon bread. “Mind if I swipe a piece?”  

“Mm!” Olivia eagerly gave Sera the rest. Of all the people Sera loved to torment, Olivia was never one of them. If anything, she had a soft spot for the child.  

“Oh no that ain’t necessary but you’re a sweet thing for offering.” Sera leaned in to Olivia, pretending to whisper, but only brought her voice louder for Cullen to clearly hear. “See, I was trying to get Mr. Boring over here to have some fun for once, but I don’t think he’s gonna budge.”  

“Cullen!” Olivia exclaimed, puffing out her cheeks.  

Sera stopped her further protests. “I know, what a bore! But I’m thinking if he won’t have some fun – why don’t we?”  

“Now Sera-” Cullen rose from his seat. “The Inquisitor asked me specifically to look after Olivia while they were gone-”  

“We’re not going to Halamshiraal get your knickers out of a twist!” Sera snorted. “I’ll bring her back in one piece, but a kid can’t sit around all day!”

“I…”  

Olivia was gripping excitedly at the edge of her seat, and if her toes could reach the floor they would’ve been tapping too. Anyone could see she desperately wanted to spend time with the ‘fun rogue’. Cullen could be fun too – it just didn’t include putting buckets of water over their ambassador’s door. Less dangerous fun.  

“Nothing reckless,” Cullen pinched the bridge of his nose. “If I see so much as a scratch on Olivia, I’ll have your quarters repurposed to a storage closet.”  

“If I get a hair on the squirt’s head out of place, I’ll banish myself, does that make you feel better? I won’t get in the way of your crush on the boss.”  

“I do not-”

Sera and Olivia were already gone before he could even finish, giggling as the elf lifted the girl onto her shoulders and scrambled out. It was almost fascinating how quickly he could come to regret a decision.  

They were gone for a few hours, when night arrived and a chill soaked into the floor Cullen began to pace, anxious and ready to go searching top to bottom for Olivia.  

He only made it to the grand hall when he found the two of them. Sera, snoring with her head fallen back in her ornate seat with Olivia, sleeping sound in Sera’s lap. A blanket was slipped over the two of them, and just a few feet away in another chair was Varric, watching the fireplace crackle.  

“Don’t you worry Curly, I kept them distracted.” Varric laughed and took a sip of his wine. “You’d be surprised how much Buttercup loves a good story.”  

Cullen let out a sigh of relief as he made his way to Olivia. She was clutching onto to Sera and her head was laid lazily on her stomach, a slow rise and fall lifting her up and down. She looked so comfortable; it was almost hard to wake her up.  

“Was she a handful?” Cullen asked.  

“Olivia or Buttercup?”  

“Either one.” Cullen scoffed.  

“Buttercup is a given, but Olivia is always a pleasure. It’s nice to have someone actually enjoy my rough drafts – they’re just what put Sera to sleep.” Varric laughed to himself. “Everyone’s a critic.”  

“I’m surprised the Inquisitor didn’t take you with them,” Cullen remarked. “Dorian, Blackwall, and you are typically their regular party.”  

Varric simpered. “As old as Blackwall looks, I’m older – and you’ve got to give the elderly a break.”

“You can’t be beyond your late thirties.”  

Varric raised a glass amusedly. “Or maybe I just age that good. Either way, mentally, I’m in my sixties. I like to have the occasional night in!”  

“Does that mean Olivia could call you ‘grandfather’?”  

“Don’t you dare put that idea in her head Curly.”

Cullen turned his attention back to Olivia with a laugh. He gently scooped her up in his arms, and Sera only mildly objected in the form of halfhearted tugs at his gauntlets. The second Olivia felt the fur of his cloak she sank against it; even attempting to wrap herself up like a blanket.  

“Thank you for watching over her, Varric – even if only for a short time.”  

The dwarf shook his head. “No trouble. You just make sure that one gets some shut-eye.”  

Cullen took Olivia to your quarters – It had a grand enough bed that you shared with your parent when they were here anyhow. The few times Cullen had entered early, Olivia would be snuggled up among the silk sheets like a burrowed rabbit. She’d never get out if you didn’t make her.  

He pulled back the blankets and set her down gently. The second she recognized just where she was, Olivia grappled at the sheets and pull them up to her chin – even her cheeks were smothered against her pillow.  

Cullen would’ve left to return to his own room when Olivia reached out for his hand and ruined that plan.

“Can you stay, Mr. Rutherford?”  

She only used that name when she wanted something out of him. It worked every time.  

Cullen paused briefly, relenting as he sat down at the foot of the bed. “Of course, Olivia.”  

“Can I ask you something?” She mumbled, eyes only a tiny bit open and words slurring.  

He smiled softly. “Of course.”  

“Do you… do you like them?” She clearly peeked one eye open at this point. Olivia was far from subtle.  

“Like who?”  

“You know… my… parent…” Olivia sat up, rubbing at her face groggily but far too curious to sleep just yet.

Cullen’s heart jumped into his throat. He swallowed hard, and even then, his chest heaved like a drum. “Why ah – why would you ask that?”  

“I see how you stare – and how they stare. And I…” Olivia brought her knees up to her chin. “I want you to be a part of our family.”  

The rapid beating of Cullen’s heart stopped, his fidgeting fingers stopped, and his panicking brain stopped. All that remained was a warmth, gentle, and protective like a lantern in a dark night. It never felt so easy to say exactly what he meant.  

“I think I’d like that too. But I’ll have to be a bit braver before I can tell them.”  

Olivia saw his faint, nervous smile and leaned over so that she drooped over his shoulder. She did her best to drape a bit of the blanket over him but even at her best, she only managed to cover his knee. A valiant effort.  

“I’ll cheer for you then,” Olivia yawned. “so, you can get brave. Would that help?”  

Olivia truly was just like you. Maybe that was why he found himself adoring her just so much. You were always so encouraging and supportive – even at your worst, you found a way to brighten someone else’s day. You passed the kindness in your heart down to Olivia, and it showed.  

Perhaps when you returned Cullen would finally tell you all the things that’d be brimming inside of him. How he cared for you like he’d never known before and wanted nothing more than to simply do the same for you. For the first time, he felt like he could.

“I think it already is.”  

Cullen would’ve thought Olivia already fallen fast asleep were it not for the little grin spread across her face.

[theharellan]

Written for Stories of Thedas Volume II. Pairing: Solas & Cole (platonic) Prompt: Library

Masks upon masks. The Winter Palace is strange to Cole, who attends at the Inquisitor's bidding and finds himself at a loss for how to help. Solas comes upon him with ideas for how to cope with the deadly Game.

Read on AO3.

Couples spin on the dance floor, turning and turning, going nowhere and everywhere at once. Their heads fill with daydreams, one gazes into her partner’s eyes through their masks, imagining the hidden corners they could lose themselves in. Another, all he sees is the faint outline of a knife in his companion’s skirts, so all-consuming he almost forgets the steps. A third, their eyes bore holes into the other’s heads, hate springs from love eternal. His eyes dart from one couple to the next, glimpses into minds fraught with thoughts of a Game no one ever really wins.

He breathes in and feels the air catch in his throat. Honeyed words mask the taste of poison, cold compassion, they understand only so they can hurt. It isn’t right, it isn’t fair, it isn’t–

In the blink of an eye he’s in the library, surrounded by pages that whisper the words of yesterday. Not so sharp against his skin. Below, a dead man in the shape of a Warden pretends to stare at a plaque, praying no one will look at him twice, fearing they might see his valourous wings are clipped. It’s still a hurt, a tangle, but he’s trying to help. Cruelty does not become him. He lets out a breath he forgot he was holding, hands coming together to pull at his sleeves.

Oh.

He had forgotten about the uniform. The fabric doesn’t come away at his touch, no matter how hard he tugs.

And he misses his hat.

Cole wonders how long he will wait here, alone with his panic clawing at his throat. In the Spire he spent months isolated, forgotten by all save the one who no longer cares to know him. Suddenly the soft, inviting lights which illuminate the halls of the Winter Palace seem as cold as the dark cells they had kept Rhys in, clapped in irons for crimes Cole committed. Anxiety squeezes every inch of him. He counts the beats of the music that drifts from the distant dance hall, just to assure himself only minutes have passed since he came here.

A door opens behind him, and he nearly jumps into shadow, the Veil waiting to envelop him, drawing him from prying eyes, but a familiar face waits on the other side. “Solas!” he gasps, relieved and ashamed that he had doubted, but grateful most of all.

Solas shuts the door behind him, turning the handle so the latch doesn’t make a sound. “I thought I might find you here.”

That gives Cole pause. He hadn’t known he would find himself here, until it happened. “But I don’t read.” The books here are newer than those kept in the Pit, some hum with the occult, others recount poems about the shape of a woman’s hips, but he still doesn’t read. There isn’t a question in his tone, but Solas hears it, all the same.

“This place can be overwhelming for anyone, even without accounting for your abilities. Books carry meaning, but without eyes upon them those meanings are static. Far easier to take in,” he answers as he walks towards him, gait stiffer than usual. His feet had forgotten what it was like to wear shoes. Solas has been quiet that evening, quieter than usual, the stem of a glass glued between his fingers, bottomless. He lets his hat do his talking for him, the Drasca’s dissent lived on atop his head. He stops beside Cole, leaning upon the marble rail, gloved hands bearing weight. His eyes turn upon him, no brimmed hat to hide behind. “Are you all right?”

He pulls on his sleeves, this time he thinks he feels a thread come loose. “Yes... No? There are two faces for every person.” The Left Hand smiles and laughs, she comes alive, but inside it’s cold and cruel. The rose withers upon the vine. He finds the thread with his finger and pulls, but it doesn’t break. It unravels, further and further, if he keeps going his whole sleeve will be an unspooled mess on the floor. “I don’t know which to look at. I-I don’t know how to help.”

Solas reaches out, subduing his worrying hands with a single, steady touch. A gentle gesture, despite the blood which stains them. Sometimes they do not seem so different from his own, they remember the bodies because forgetting would be worse. Killer’s hands, but there is no deceit in their tenderness. Solas wraps the thread around his finger, string bright white against his brown glove, and he tugs. It snaps, suddenly brittle, and falls to the floor to be swept away by a servant who will never know they were here. A comforting hand is placed deliberately on his shoulder blade, and Cole stills. He inhales, eyes snapping from the abandoned thread to Solas. There is kindness in his eyes, quiet assurance. He has seen this all before and he will make it easier to bear. So many tricks just to make it through a day, an evening, an hour. “You will not find much compassion in these affairs, any help you offer will be perceived as duplicitous, a means to get what it is you desire.”

“Then I… shouldn’t help?”

He hesitates, delaying his answer with a moment’s deliberation. “The choice is ultimately yours, but their comfort should not come at the cost of your peace of mind.” His hand slowly falls from his back as Cole turns his advice around in his head. “While we are waiting for the Inquisitor to call upon us, rather than mend the missing pieces in strangers’ lives, perhaps I may help you.”

“Help me?” He searches Solas’ eyes for answers, compassion seeking solace in pride. They are quiet, revealing only as much as intended. Cole chips at the cracks in the rock and hopes for water to spring forth, but he guards his sorrows like a wolf guards her den.

“Would you care to learn how to dance?”

A dozen thoughts pile into the spirit’s head, most too quick to catch, but he grasps one by the tail. “Do spirits dance?”

Solas claims spirits are people, and each day that belief is realer in Cole’s own mind, reinforced by the Herald and Solas himself. He need not change to be loved, or understood, he need only be himself. But if he is a person, then he is not a person the way Varric is, or Cassandra, or even Solas. There’s a touch of sadness in the corner of his smile, as though he is sorry the question needs to be asked. “I suppose it falls to us to answer together,” he replies patiently with an offered palm.

Uncertain how it will help, but ready to trust that it can, he takes Solas’ hand.

“Listen closely,” he says, but he declines to speak again. Cole’s instruction takes a different turn, a manicured glimpse through a window into Solas’ soul.

“Delicate hand folded like a paper crane between my shoulders, her eyes shine like the gold she deals in when I take to the dance.” Josephine had poured so much into tonight, all her smiles and favours, anything that will see the Inquisition prevail. “She didn’t think you would be asked to dance, but she was afraid if you didn’t learn, someone would.”

“Her time was likely better spent elsewhere,” he agrees, “though nothing would have given me more pleasure tonight than refusing one of Celene’s court. Listen again, parse the thoughts which cloud the memory and see how we move.” Cole nods, and concentrates. He remembers the palm tucked in the valley between Solas’ shoulders, and he moves his there. His feet, too, he moves in line with his hips. It’s strange, focusing upon his own body and the space it takes up in the world. Lighter now that he has chosen compassion, but still very much real, empty only in the seconds the air rushes from the chambers of his lungs.

He feels eyes upon him, questioning, searching for confirmation before the music dares move them. “I’m ready.”

When Solas steps forward, Cole steps back, like they’re two puppets on the same musical string. He clips his strides, travelling farther faster than Solas can hope to without magic to carry him there. Awkward at first, but with each beat he feels him join with the dance that exists in his head. Old melodies, half-remembered, play in distant memories. Like the sky he knew it, once, but made himself forget. Dancing wasn’t always this way, was it?

Solas remembers. Feet too full of motion to keep his thoughts safe in his head, they spill onto the fabric of the world where Cole breathes them like his own. Memories of moving on a dancefloor to a familiar tune, swaying with the stars themselves, spinning until they parted from the earth. He swells with pride, a beast alive beneath his ribcage, it thrives and fights and inspires. When they dance the heavens and the earth move, and an empire holds its breath. It fears what dread the dawn will bring, but his People find freedom in the impromptu steps.

“What are you two doing here?” A voice snaps the string. Halamshiral looks different than it did heartbeats ago, all the magic hidden in dark corners (all the elves, too). When Cole turns to see the servant who disturbed them, he’s surprised to see a bare face behind her plain mask, and a second later cannot recall why.

With silver eyes she stares at him, unblinking. “She can see me.”

“A consequence of our dance, I believe.” Yes, he can feel it. Solas fades with each passing second, growing distant as his hand falls from his waist. “It will fade in a moment.” He speaks as though she is not there, but he’s waiting. It’s another dance, only it’s Cole’s turn to lead.

Cut loose, he turns his attention to the woman. Fear flows through her veins, the dagger beneath her sleeve is ready to open theirs. Beneath the steel, her heart wavers. Stranded between duty and love. “I’m warning you-”

“There’s still time,” he says. “She waits for you beside the fountain where you wished away Your Lady’s collection.” There were wiser things to do with gold, but oh how they’d laughed with every dream plunged into the water.

Cole steps forward and she braces, but not fast enough. “Forget.”

Time is unmade behind her eyes, and she slips the mask from her face to rub the last place she’d been kissed. Gone as quickly as she came, with new purpose in her step.

“It seems you found a way to help someone, after all,” Solas remarks after the library door has shut behind her. “You never fail to impress.”

Something in him shines brighter, bolstered by his pride. “Thank you.” He falters, looking down at his feet, curling his toes inside their boots. “I’d like to try another dance, if you think there’s time.”

A laugh coloured wine red parts Solas’ lips, punctuated by a snort that makes Blackwall down below look around for its source. “I believe there is time for one more,” he says, outstretched palm seeking Cole’s hand. “Since you have devised a way to put off intruders, I daresay we have all the time in the world.”

It isn’t a lie, but neither is it true. Like the golden caprice coins that shine beneath the lovers’ reunion, Solas’ words glow like wishes.

[jawsofhakkontranscript]

Ameridan’s End: Talk to Ameridan

(Previous quest - Ameridan's End: Assault the Jaws of Hakkon)

Main questline: Ameridan’s End: Talk to Ameridan

Characters involved: Ameridan

This is the second part of “Ameridan’s End” questline.

Gurd Harofsen is defeated. The time magic surrounding the dragon begins to falter. Inquisitor Ameridan is revealed.

PC: Inquisitor. (Bows their head.)

Ameridan: Inquisitor.

(If the Inquisitor is a human.) Ameridan: How fares Drakon? Has he brought the Chant to the whole world yet? [1]

(If the Inquisitor is an elf.) Ameridan: Andaran atish'an. I am glad Drakon's friendship with our people has remained strong. [1]

(If the Inquisitor is a dwarf.) Ameridan: Has Drakon's empire brought in even the children of the stone? [1]

(If the Inquisitor is a Qunari.) Ameridan: Drakon's empire has spread far while I slept. [1]

[1] Dialogue options:

History: You've been gone a long time. [2]

Elf: No. The humans betrayed us. [3]

General: I am sorry. I have news. [4]

General: You're a little out of date. [5]

General: Drakon is dead. [6]

[2] History: You've been gone a long time.

PC: Inquisitor Ameridan, you disappeared in 1:20 Divine, around the time of the signing of the Nevarran Accord.

Ameridan: You say it as though it was… [7]

[3] Elf: No. The humans betrayed us.

PC: It has not. Drakon's son, Kordillus the Second, destroyed the Dales.

Ameridan: Drakon's son… [7]

[2] General: I am sorry. I have news.

PC: Inquisitor Ameridan, you have slept longer than you perhaps understand. [7]

[3] General: You're a little out of date.

PC: How long do you think you've been here?

Ameridan: You say it as though it was… [7]

[4] General: Drakon is dead.

PC: Emperor Drakon died a long time ago. [7]

[7] Ameridan: How long?

Party comments:

Cassandra: You were the last Inquisitor. There has not been another since you disappeared 800 years ago.

(If no companion makes a comment.) PC: There has not been an Inquisitor since you disappeared... 800 years ago.

Ameridan: Drakon was my oldest friend. He would have sent someone to find me.

Party comments:

Vivienne: He would have, had the Second Blight not swept across Orlais, demanding his full attention.

Solas: He never had the chance. The darkspawn that rose in the Anderfels threatened all of Orlais.

Dorian: I'm afraid Drakon was a little busy with the darkspawn pouring down from the Anderfels.

Ameridan: I see. [Go to 7a]

(If no companion makes a comment.) Ameridan: But evidently he was occupied elsewhere. The darkspawn, perhaps, or… [Go to 7a]

[7a] Telana escaped the battle. Did she... do the records say what became of her? [8]

[8] Dialogue options:

General: She lived well. [9]

General: She died trying to reach you. [10]

[9] General: She lived well.

PC: Telana died of old age many years later. She never forgot you.

Ameridan: You lie well, but I hunted demons and maleficarum long before I was Inquisitor. (Sighs.) [11]

[10] General: She died trying to reach you.

PC: She returned to the island. From what we can tell, she died trying to reach you through dreams.

Ameridan: I asked her not to. She was a good hunter and the love of my life, but she never... (Sighs.) [11]

[11] Ameridan: I never wanted this job. Hunting demons was so much simpler than politics. [Go to 12 or 13, depending on whether Cassandra is in the party]

[12] (If Cassandra is not in the party.) -> [Go straight to 23]

[13] (If Cassandra is in the party.) Cassandra: Inquisitor Ameridan, how could the leader of the Seekers be a mage?

Ameridan: Has history forgotten so much? I was not a Seeker myself, as most Inquisitors were. I used my magical gifts in the hunting of demons and maleficarum. Do the Seekers no longer welcome the aid of mages?

Cassandra: No. That was forgotten... among many other things. [14]

[14] Dialogue options:

Special: We know the Seekers' secrets. [15] (If Cassandra’s personal quest “Promise of Destruction” was completed and the truth about the rite of Tranquility was uncovered.)

General: Cassandra is a Seeker. [16]

General: Not the time, Cassandra. [17]

[15] Special: We know the Seekers' secrets.

PC: Cassandra is a Seeker... and after the Seekers went rogue, she discovered the truth about them.

Cassandra: We learned they developed the Rite of Tranquility.

Ameridan: You mean sundering one from the Fade? The Seekers do it briefly when granting an initiate their abilities.

Cassandra: It has become a way to control mages deemed dangerous. They are left Tranquil. Permanently.

Ameridan: (Sighs.) Killing a man is ugly work. You learn not to look to it as your first recourse. But sundering them from the Fade is easy. Bloodless. I told them spreading such a "solution" would lead to abuse. They swore that would never happen. They promised. I am so sorry. [18]

[18] Subsequent dialogue options:

Special: Cassandra is rebuilding them. [19] (If Cassandra was encouraged to rebuild the Seekers after completing her personal quest “Promise of Destruction”.)

General: It was not your doing. [20]

General: That doesn't matter now. [21]

General: Sorry doesn't solve it. [22]

[19] Special: Cassandra is rebuilding them.

PC: Cassandra will rebuild the Seekers into an organization to be proud of again... with the Inquisition's help.

Ameridan: Then you both have my thanks.

Ameridan: I was a good hunter. I did not want to lead an organization. [Go to 23]

[20] General: It was not your doing.

PC: You could not have known.

Ameridan: The Inquisition was a vital force, but feared. We fought so many dangers... with so many terrible weapons. I had no wish to chase a dragon to the far reaches of nowhere. I had my people to deal with... and the Nevarran Accord. [Go to 23]

[21] General: That doesn't matter now.

PC: What matters now is the dragon you hunted. [Go straight to 29]

[22] General: Sorry doesn't solve it.

PC: The Inquisition created the templars and the Circle as we know it. Do you know how many mages died when templars abused their power? How many people died when the mages rebelled?

Ameridan: I can guess. The Inquisition hunted evil. It was too easy to see threats wherever we looked. I did everything I could to transform them into a force for peace. I had no wish to chase a dragon to the far reaches of nowhere. I had my people to deal with... and the Nevarran Accord. [Go to 23]

[16] General: Cassandra is a Seeker.

PC: This is Cassandra Pentaghast. She is a member of the Order of Seekers.

Cassandra: I am honored, Inquisitor.

Ameridan: As am I. Your predecessors were good men and women in difficult times. As the Inquisition joined the Chantry, we required a leader who inspired loyalty, not fear. [23]

[17] General: Not the time, Cassandra.

PC: Cassandra, we have more pressing concerns.

Ameridan: You do indeed. [Go straight to 29]

[23] Ameridan: But Drakon told me I was needed... as I suspect you were needed. [24]

[24] Dialogue options:

Sad: It takes everything from you. [25]

Mad: I didn't want this. [26]

Pleased: I’m all right. [27]

Stoic: Let's focus on the present. [28]

[25] Sad: It takes everything from you.

PC: I wasn't Inquisitor by choice. Whatever my life was before…

Ameridan: Take moments of happiness where you find them. The world will take the rest. [29]

[26] Mad: I didn't want this.

PC: I had goals for my life. I had plans and dreams.

Ameridan: And now you have responsibility... including that which I was unable to fulfill myself. [29]

[27] Pleased: I’m all right.

PC: It hasn't been all bad.

Ameridan: I am glad to hear it... and sorry to burden you with my unfinished business. [29]

[28] Stoic: Let's focus on the present.

PC: What matters now is the dragon you hunted. [29]

[29] Ameridan: The dragon carries the spirit of an Avvar god. I lacked the strength to kill it. My own magic was able to bind us all, locked in time. But when the cultists drew that spirit into another vessel, it disrupted my bindings. It is breaking free. [30]

[30] Dialogue options:

General: I will carry on for you. [31]

General: Fighting gods is old news. [32] (If the main game wasn’t completed.)

General: I've killed gods before. [33] (If the main game was completed.)

General: We will kill it together. [34]

[31] General: I will carry on for you.

PC: I'd be honored to finish what you started.

Ameridan: Thank you. [35]

[32] General: Fighting gods is old news.

PC: I'm already fighting one would-be god. I can make time for one more.

Ameridan: Then I leave the world in good hands. [35]

[33] General: I've killed gods before.

PC: I killed the would-be god who unleashed the Blight upon the world. He had a dragon, too.

Ameridan: Then I leave the world in good hands. [35]

[34] General: We will kill it together.

PC: You won't be fighting it alone this time.

Ameridan: No. You will. [35]

[35] Ameridan: The passage of years can be delayed, but not ignored. I will soon join Telana at Andraste's side. Take this. It holds the last few memories of an old hunter who was neither as wise nor as strong as he thought. Fight well, Inquisitor. I am honored to have met you.

(Ameridan dies. The dragon escapes the time-freezing spell.)

Party comments:

Blackwall: We'll have to deal with that dragon, especially if it's possessed again.

Cole: She still has Hakkon inside her. We have to stop her before she hurts people.

Cassandra: We need to stop the dragon. It still carries the spirit of Hakkon.

Iron Bull: (Grunts.) Still need to deal with the dragon at some point. Probably has the Avvar god back inside it.

(Next quest - Hakkon Wintersbreath)

[cl-01-kestis]

My Little Rebel - Inquisitor!Cal Kestis x Female Rebel!Reader | Part 8

Summary: After reuniting with the force and discovering your past as a Padawan, you join Cere and Greez, and Merrin in hopes to restore the Jedi order.

Warnings: violence

You woke from your meditation hours after, eyes stinging from the sudden light pouring into your room. Never in your life had your body felt so relaxed, so comfortable and at ease. You can’t remember the last time you didn’t have a back ache or a sore neck. It felt nice.

You walked into the main hanger of the ship and yawned, stretching your arms out and covering your mouth as you approached the holotable located in the centre. You looked over to your right and noticed a young woman with stone grey skin and silver hair, her eyes were dark and she had unmistakable markings on her face. You couldn’t believe your eyes, that was a Nightsister.

You remember your time at the Jedi temple, your master spoke a lot of nightsisters and warned you about them, calling them witches and trouble makers. You had never met a Nightsister before so you didn’t have a personal opinion of them.

The Nightsister spotted you at the table, didn’t flinch or jolt at your sudden appearance. She kept a respectful stare on you and it seemed that she wasn’t causing any trouble, she didn’t seem that intimidating either. You wanted to speak to her, but you were aware about the situation with the Nightsisters. She might as well be the last of her kind, you doubt she’d want to trust anyone or speak to anyone after what happened on Dathomir.

But still, you decided to sit at the other side of the couch and sat with your elbows on your knees, hands clasped as you looked up at the holotable and spectated all the planets that were available to go to. The Nightsister turned her head to look at you, her eyes neither judgmental or wary, she simply just looked and sighed as though she was underwhelmed by something. You paid no mind to it and continued to look at all the planets until Cere appeared from the cockpit and smiled warmly at you.

“How did it go?” Her voice was eager and excited, standing in front of you a few paces away from you and crossing her arms over her chest as she awaited your answer. You smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“It went great, Cere, I saw Shaak, she was there” You rejoyced in a calm yet happy voice, earning a bright grin from Cere who was more than happy for you.

“That’s wonderful” She gave you a loose hug and patted your back, her heart was filled with warmth at your rediscovery and she felt as though she finally accomplished something useful, something meaningful.

“Sorry for being so abrupt, but is there a shower I can use around here? I stink of oil” You laughed, sniffing the sleeve of your mucky shirt and pulling a disgusted, scrunched up face. Cere chuckled, pointing you to the hallway you just came out from and directing you to the showers.

“Straight on and on your left, next to your room” She said, smiling as you thanked her and quickly rushed off to get a shower.

Merrin stood up from her chair, walking towards Cere whilst watching you scurry away.

“I’m not sure she’s the right person for this” The Nightsister whispered, leaning close to Cere so neither you or Greez knew what they were speaking of.

“She is, I’m certain of it” Cere insisted, nervously fiddling with her necklace and pursing her lips at the kick of hope within the Nightsister.

“What is she ends up like Cal?” Merrin had to ask, her friend had been taken by darkness and she didn’t want the same happening to you even though she hardly knew you. Cere’s head snapped in Merrin’s direction and for a second she didn’t know how to reply. The mentioning of their old friends name caused a stir within Cere and her heart collapsed remembering him.

“She’s strong, she’s older than him as well... her master was a wise woman, I doubt (Y/N) would want to face her disappointment” Was Cere’s answer, earning a sharp eye roll from Merrin who returned to her seat and folded her arms over her chest.

“You said the same thing about Cal” Merrin grumbled, tears of frustration filled her dark eyes and Cere felt guilty for a moment, watching as Merrin wiped her eyes and sniffed.

“What if he gets her? What will happen then?” She continued, but that was the last of her pushing questions. Merrin stood up and stormed to her room, leaving Cere alone in the main hanger of the ship to think about the conversation they just had, maybe Merrin had a point.

Cere never forgot the say she lost Cal to Trilla, her old Padawan. She’ll never forget the feeling of horror when she saw Cal in that black and red uniform. She was too late to save him from the dark side, but she wasn’t going to let that same mistake happen to you. Even if Cal was after you, you were proven to be stronger than him, in many ways that you didn’t realise just yet. Cere had to let you meditate again, she needed to let you see more of your past and discover more powers you forgot about. You were her last hope, you were all she had left.

-

Getting into the showers, you threw your towel over the door handle and made sure it was locked before grabbing the handle and twisting it. It squeaked in an almost deafening high pitch as cold icy water came out of the shower head, giving a great shock to your toes which where in the wet zone of the shower cubicle.

There was only one in the ship, it was fairly spacious and it had the necessities for cleaning and getting the dirt off you.

The sound of water hitting the ground echoed around the shower cubicle and it mushed together with your busy thoughts. You got your head under the shower and gasped at the bitter cold of the water, your body tensing and goosebumps raising as a response. It felt good though, you can’t remember the last time you had a shower.

You held your head underneath the shower for a few minutes, letting the water deep through just to be sure you were going to clean it correctly. You grabbed the shampoo bottle closest to you and squirted it into your hand, rubbing it together before smearing it all over your scalp and massaging it into your hair. You felt euphoria as you felt all the mud and rain leave your hair, brushing your fingers through tangled bits of hair and winding as you accidentally pulled some strands out.

After rinsing out your hair, you scrubbed your face with your hands and scrubbed your body with soap will it was sore. You had to be 100% certain you were clean, you wouldn’t leave the cubicle unless you were absolutely positive.

You weren’t sure how long you were in the shower for, probably under an hour at most. You turned the faucet off and wrapped your body in the towel on the door handle. You rubbed your hair until it was no longer dripping with water before creeping out of the cubicle and scurrying to your room, only to realise you had no fresh clothes.

You looked around your room, through the drawers of the cabinet in hopes something would’ve there. Nothing. Damnit. You flushed a furious red as you chewed your nails, other hand holding the towel wrapped around your body.

A light knock behind you caught your attention and you turned around to see who it was. To your surprise, it was the Nightsister. In her hands she held a pair of fresh clothes that appeared to be hers. A red tunic and a black long sleeved shirt, black leggings and red boots.

“It’s not much, but it’ll do” She spoke to, catching you off guard with her thick Dathomirian accent but you found it unique.

“Thank you” You smiled, using one hand to take the neatly folded pile of clothes from her arms all whilst holding your towel on. The Nightsister bowed her head respectfully and returned the smile.

“I’m Merrin” She blurted out, fiddling with her hands behind her back as she tried to smile without feeling awkward or embarrassed. Your smile only widened and you bowed your head back.

“I’m (Y/N)” You said, watching as the Nightsister nodded her head to you once again before turning around and closing the door, leaving you in peace to get changed and into more comfortable attire.

-

You weren’t sure what time it was, possibly around 3 in the morning. You’d lost track of time a long time ago on Bracca and at this point your body was malfunctioning and lost its rhythm of sleep. You slept a solid 2 hours since you arrived on the Mantis, mostly because you couldn’t get to sleep with all the thoughts running wild in your head. So you decided to stay up and join Cere on the couches. You fit well in Merrin’s clothes, thankfully you and her were similar sizes.

“Alright people, we’re in coming to Kashyyyk, saddle yourselves up” Greez called from the cockpit, alerting you and Cere and interrupting your conversation. Merrin emerged from her room, clearly practicing her witchcraft, and strapped herself in to the seat behind you in the cockpit.

You remembered the last time you were in Kashyyyk, it felt like years ago. Your eyes widened as they fixated on the familiar vibrant greens and blues of the Wookie dominated planet, heart thumping in your chest as if the occurances that happened months ago would happen all over again. You couldn’t afford that, neither could Cal.

“Are you alright? You seem a bit tense” Cere asked curiously, turning her head to look at you as her eyes held reassurance and serenity. You nodded your head, your lips in a thin line as you struggled to keep the memory of you and Cal meeting at bay.

There was a strange surge in your stomach, something felt wrong as the Mantis aoproached the landing bay at the hidden Rebel base. Cere was worried, she could feel how uneasy you were. She wanted to ask more but it had to wait for later.

As soon as Greez landed, you unfastened your seatbelt and bolted to your room, fetching your lightsaber before returning to the middle of the ship, meeting Cere and Merrin half way. The two women stared at you with wide eyes as you walked out bravely on the open ramp and scanned the area. You ignited your lightsaber, the feeling in your stomach grew stronger as your feet touched the green grass of the planet and the wind swirled around you.

“Stay inside” You called to Cere, walking forward to investigate the area. Cere wasn’t sure whether to follow you or let you do your thing, she could feel how on edge you were and by the looks of it Merrin could as well.

“Should we listen to her?” The Nightsister turned to Cere with questionable eyes, looking back and forth at you two until Cere shook her head and pointed to you as you finally came to a stand still and closed your eyes.

There was a faint noise in the distance, it sounded heavy. Mechanical feet stomping on the grass and nearby as you slowly crept back. Your predictions were true, the Empire was here.

“Are there any rebels here?” You asked, running back to the ship with urgency and desperation in your voice. Cere nodded and pointed to the entrance to the base which was a small secluded door that was extremely hard to see. Quickly, you thanked her and ran to the door.

“The Empire are here, we need to evacuate the area” You yelled over your shoulder, sprinting to the entrance and slamming your fist onto the brass door which was concealed by leaves and dirt.

You heart footsteps behind the door, lots of them, and the door opened to reveal a man with heavy war armour and ran skin, a bald head and dark eyes.

“Who are you?” He asked sternly, eyes narrowed and fixated on you as you raised your hands up to prove you weren’t here to cause any harm.

“I’m (Y/N), listen, I know you don’t know me but I spotted an AT-ST nearby. You need to evacuate now” You were straight to the point, earning a gasp from the man in front of you before he looked behind you to see the Mantis and Cere who was standing, waving on the ramp to signal they had ally’s.

“Are you a Jedi?” The man asked, and for a moment you felt your heart leap.

“Yes” You answered, feeling an overwhelming amount of adrenaline pumping through your blood as you confirmed who you were. The man tinged a smile, moving to the side to let you in and share the evac info to the rebels within the base. There was a lot of them, you could already feel that this was going to be a long operation.

It took a while to get everyone’s attention and spread the word that the Empire had arrived on Kashyyyk, a few rebels cried, others were determined to fight. It was a disasterous heap of nerves and emotions.

You learned the man in the war armour’s name was Saw Garrera, he was a freedom fighter and a rebel like the rest of the people there, but you can’t remember seeing him during your time as a rebel. You introduced yourself and helped him prepare for evacuation. Many other rebels prepared for war.

You wanted to fight, I mean, you had a lightsaber now, and the force! You’ve meditated a few times already before you landed on Kashyyyk and you remember so many tricks and skills up your sleeve that could be very useful in situations such as facing the Empire in battle, especially for that.

“We’ll evacuate those who do not want to fight, if you aren’t evacuating, please follow (Y/N) and help the others onto the transports” Saw yelled over the loud commotion within the Rebel crowd. All of them nodded and only moved faster at this, running and skidding around the underground hide out.

“Saw” You grabbed the commanders attention quickly so you could try and wrap your head around with what’s going on.

“What if there’s an Inquisitor?” You asked.

“Then that’s for you to handle” Was his reply, sharp and it caused you to mutter a cursive under your breath. You were the one with the lightsaber after all, don’t get all weak now (Y/N). You thought to yourself.

There wasn’t much time to doddle about and daydream, you helped board the transports and there was one left behind for those who were fighting. Saw Garerra stayed behind and decided to fight with you, his faith in this fight was sky high and it was clear he expected much from you.

Once the transports were off, you and 20 other rebels were left behind, loading guns and checking ammo. You inspected many blasters and snipers to check that they were stable enough to use, polishing the pipes and making sure the triggers weren’t stiff. Next to you was a young girl, she was polishing rifles and rubbing her nose on the sleeve of her khaki jacket. You glanced at her for a few seconds, realising she was far too young to be involved in a fight such as this but you decided to stay quiet in case she took it personal.

You spoke with a few other rebels stationed nearby, some that were suiting up and others who were checking the cameras outside to see if the enemy was near.

“We’ve got an AT-ST south exit” One rebel reported, it implied to whoever was working beside them and by the looks of it things were getting hectic outside.

You looked back to the blaster in your hands, noticing it had a small rebel sign carved onto its side. You looked around and snuck the rifle onto your belt, just to be sure you had the right weapons and a backup if your saber went missing. Everyone around you finalised their equipment and approached the door with confidence, yet you could feel the pressure surrounding them. This wasn’t their first fight but they feared it would be their last.

You walked up to the front since the rebels moved to make a line for you, watching intently as you ignited your lights saber, illuminating everyone’s face and even making some of the rebels gasp. It was clear some of them had never seen a lightsaber before, or met a Jedi. You smiled at their curiosity before kicking the door open with as much strength as you could muster, immediately sprinting outside to the scorching sun of Kashyyyk and immediately hearing blaster shots in the distance.

The rebels followed you, yelling and chanting with rage and anger towards the Stormtroopers ahead.

“Go! I’ll take care of the AT-ST!” You yelled to all of them, running to the side and letting the Rebels take the lead as you sprinted to the south exit where the mini Walker stalked the grounds.

You crept up onto a nearby slope, spying on the AT-ST that trampled over the greenery and nature of the planet, it hurt your heart to see how much destruction it caused.

Just as you were bout to strike and jump onto its head, you were met with a flashback, an unlocked memory.

“Concentrate (Y/N), enemy vehicles are always hard to take down but you need to make it quick and swift” Wolffe’s voice echoed in your mind and slowly, the force filled your body and you remembered your training, another missing piece that was useful in situations such as this.

You sprinted towards the Walker and pounced on it within seconds, grabbing onto the head with one hand and using the other to cut into the inside and grab whoever was steering it. The Walker started spinning in circles, as if the person inside was trying to find you and see what was happening. Your saber cut through the top like butter as soon enough, you were let face to face with an Imp who’s eyes were blown open with fear and shock. Pulling him out, you threw him to the ground and knocked him out immediately, you didn’t want any blood on your hands just yet.

Getting into the Walker, you looked at the controls cluelessly, there were so many. The rebel inside You was itching to steer it and use it on the stormtroopers, but the Jedi in you wanted to hand it over to someone else so you could focus on what was really important. Conflicted, you decided to push a few buttons and see what the Walker did. It steered around and you were thrown to the side, face slamming against the wall and causing you to groan out in pain.

“Okay... maybe not” You told yourself, avoiding the button you just pushed and instead going for the steering wheel. You had no clue what you were doing, you just went with your gut instinct and steered it towards the fight. It felt so heavy, the feet practically slammed against the earth and made you tumble inside it with every step it took. You grumbled in frustration, trying to keep yourself in place as you trampled over forest territory and towards the fighting and the sound of blaster shots.

Before you knew it, a few rebels began shooting at you, thinking it was still in Imperial hands. You were quick to stand up, ducking as a blaster shot missed you by a hair. “It’s me!” You exclaimed, waving your arms for the rebels to see and feeling relief as they lowered their blasters and apologised to you profusely.

“Sorry about that, Jedi!” A young rebel girl yelled up to you, her hand cupping the side of her mouth so her voice could echo. You waved her off and shrugged, hands pressed on the edge of the walkers head and looking out to the land of Kashyyyk. You had such a better view up on the Walker, you could see the fight from where you were located and witnessed a flurry of red blaster shots and flames. Your instinct was to get there as quickly as possible.

“Someone take this, i gotta go!” You exclaimed, grabbing your saber and jumping out of the Walker with clumsiness before sprinting past the rebels and towards the battlefield.

You ignited your lightsaber as you approached the field of scrambled Rebels and stormtroopers. You jumped right into the mix and ran to the middle of the battle, raising your saber and concentrating on blocking the blaster shots and deflecting them so they could return to the person who shot them and hopefully hit them as a result. The Rebels around you were relieved now that you were here, helping them out with everything you had and putting your all into the fight. This was the first time you’d fight as a Jedi, adrenaline flowed through you but so did the Force, controlling your every move and helping you balance and get rid of the anxiety you had moments before. The force was helpful when it came to deflecting shots and charging at stormtroopers, lightsaber gripped tightly in your hand as you struck them down one by one.

You let it guide you through battle and dodging enemy attacks effortlessly, cutting through the piles of white armour and securing the area as though it was an easy task. Your heart wrenched as a few Rebels were taken down, crying out for them as you went for their killer with your lightsaber, no hesitance in taking their life quicker than they took the rebels.

The stormtroopers were reluctant attacking you as they watched you take down so many enemies, so many bodies of white and black that hit the ground faster than you could say ‘Bantha’. They eventually called a retreat but you weren’t finished yet, you kept going after them along side the other rebels who certainly weren’t finished with them either. Angry cries left their lips as they shot down the remainder of the troop, bodies falling and eventually coming to a halt when none of them were standing.

A sudden silence erupted amongst the group of rebels behind you, no one spoke a word as a strange sound ripples through the sky above. Your heart sank to the pit of your stomach, you felt like your throat was about to dry up and you’d suffocate on your own breath. The very distant echo of a Tie howled above you and the rebels, their first instinct was to immediately run and get to the transport as soon as possible. You turned around and looked up behind the rebels, head tilted slightly as your eyes met a Tie fighter charging right towards your location, practically the size of your fingertip but slowly getting closer and closer.

“We have to go! The Inquisutor is coming” The young rebel from earlier called out, tugging on your arm desperately to get your attention in hopes you’d come with her and board the transport.

“No” You replied, voice firm and sure of what you were about to do.

“Are you sure? You’ll be killed!” She argued.

“Someone has to stay behind to distract them, you go ahead and board the ship, we’ll see each other again. Please, can you tell my crew I might be a while?” You pressed a reassuring arm on her shoulder and looked up to meet her scared eyes, eyes that only recently witnessed the death of her friends.

The girl had no other option but to nod and listen to your command, tears welling up in her blue eyes as she sniffed and wiped her nose with the sleeve of her grubby clothes.

“Please be careful” She whimpered, patting your shoulder a few times before running off into the trees to reunite with her comrades and board the transport that awaited them.

You smiled as you watched her disappear, but the smile was short lived when the tie from earlier was right behind you and was currently landing, the leaves and grass around you blowing away in every direction which caused your hair to whip in your face. You didn’t dare turn around, scared to see whoever it was as you quickly blocked off your force aura and made sure the Inquisitor didn’t recognise who you were. The ship soon came to a halt and you heard the hatch open up, the clear footsteps of an Inquisitor landing on the ground as they jumped down from the ship.

You tensed, unable to recognise who it was but you still didn’t turn around, you kept your head high and fought back the fear as you awaited their move.

“So... you’re the Jedi I’ve heard so much about”.

Your heart stopped and you felt like you were going to throw up at the least, a horrific churning stirred in your stomach as you recognised the voice of Cal Kestis standing right behind you.

You realised now how late you were at explaining yourself, your lightsaber out, ignited and on full show as your back faced the man you loved with every bone in your body. You fought back tears now, biting your lip and hoping he wouldn’t so much as hate you when he realised who it was standing in front of him.

“Is someone shy? Uncommon for filth like you” He continued, you felt a sting in your heart as he spoke his words of disgust. You weren’t used to this Cal, you didn’t like it. Not one bit. But overtime you started to realise that this was really who he was, this was his job, his lifestyle. He was now your hunter, and you were his pray.

Sucking in a breath, you swallowed your fear and turned your head slightly, unable to see anything but his feet. Slowly but surely, you turned around and you were finally face to face with Cal. He wasn’t wearing his helmet which meant you could see every bit of shock break out of his face when he realised it was you. His golden eyes snapped open and he took an almost offended step back, his lightsaber already ignited before he realised it was you and his other hand balled into a fist.

“What-“ He blinked a couple of times just to check he was seeing correctly, lips quivering and heart racing in his chest.

“When did this happen” His voice wasn’t friendly, full of demand and frustration as he gritted his teeth and his hand clenched around the hilt of his lightsaber. You tensed at his sudden change of emotion and took a cautious step back, lightsaber slowly readying in case he had any ideas as he stood meters away from you.

“Yesterday, I already feel so welcome” You said sarcastically, you started circling one another like predators with their prey, ready for whatever was about to happen but also hesitating because of your feelings towards each other.

“I don’t want to fight you (Y/N)... just give me the lightsaber and we can act like none of this happened” Cal’s voice came out more reassuring this time, realising a hand out to you as the other still gripped his scarlet lightsaber. You scrunched your face up in confusion, eyes sharp and narrow as they concentrated on your boyfriends face.

“No” You muttered, shaking your head and making your answer known to the Inquisitor in front of you who’s gold eyes were ablaze with rising anger. Cal didn’t want to raise his voice to you, he didn’t even want to lay a finger on you, he was angry because he wished it wasn’t you who he was up against. Out of all the Jedi left, you had to be one of them. You were the thing he was trained to kill.

“It doesn’t have to be this way” You called out to Cal in a more confident and clear tone, scared that he would take it the wrong way as you two continued circling one another.

“Come with me” You carried on, raising your own hand this time and spreading it out so he could take it. Bewildered, Cal took another step back and swallowed a lump in his throat, not sure where to look as he trembled. There was a war going on in his head, a war he couldn’t conquer just yet. He looked back up to meet your desperate gaze and softly shook his head.

“You know I can’t do that” He shook his head and his voice croaked out to you as if he was holding back tears, you could feel the sadness and guilt from where he was standing. It made your head dizzy. You wanted him to come with you, maybe run away with you and start a new life. But he wasn’t for budging, you could tell it would take some time to get him to think about leaving his life as a killing machine behind.

It pained you to see him like this, it also didn’t help that neither of you had seen each other in over a month and your meeting wasn’t on good terms. He was here to kill you, you knew it.

“I’m not going to fight you Cal, I’m not” You unsheathed your lightsaber that once was his, clipping it to your belt but a part of you was screaming to get it back in your hand and defend yourself. Cal didn’t unsheath his own and kept still, eyes wide and his brows furrowed.

He didn’t say anything, his bottom lip quivered as he sucked in a shaky breath and tore his gaze from you.

After what felt like minutes, he unsheathed his lightsaber and his hand was shaking violently as he held it. You sighed in relief, heart thumping wildly in your chest as you awaited his further actions.

“Where did you get that lightsaber?” He asked, eyes flickering to your waist where the lightsaber lay. You took a hesitant step closer to him, taking the lightsaber from your belt again but not igniting it.

“Bracca” You answered truthfully, watching his gaze shift from curious to confused.

“What were you doing there?” His voice was hoarse all of a sudden, like his old life was flashing before his eyes at the mention of his old home.

“A mission with the rebels” You looked at the lightsaber and traced it with your fingertips intricately. Cal watched you with a soft gaze, he looked down at your lips and all of a sudden felt his heart speed up just that little bit more.

Cal wanted to kiss you, but he wasn’t sure how many eyes were on you right now. You were both amongst bodies of fallen stormtroopers and rebels, it wasn’t entirely the most ideal place to kiss you. But maker he wanted to, he wanted to kiss you even though he was supposed to kill you. Sharp pain lingered in his chest at the fact you were now a priority within the Inquisutors, another Jedi on the list to take out. As much as he is loyal to the Empire, he can’t take out the one person who made him feel true love for the first time in his life. He couldn’t bring himself to do it, and it made him feel worthless. But in his head your life was more valuable than his, he’d die for you if it meant getting you away from the Empire. You weren’t aware of the impact you made on his life, you were the first and only person to have been put in front of his job, the meeting on Kashyyyk goes to prove it.

You looked down past the lightsaber in your hand and looked at Cal’s free hand which was balled into a fist. You reluctantly stroked it with your fingers, hand slowly but surely slipping into his own and intertwining. Cal felt all the stress and anxiety flush out of his system as he felt your hand in his, he looked up to you and all of a sudden his lightsaber dropped to the ground with a loud thud, proving how heavy it really was.

In a flash, his other hand cupped your cheek and he brought you in for a passionate, longing kiss that made your stomach flutter. You dropped your own lightsaber which landed next to his and wrapped your arms around his neck, his own wrapped tightly around your waist. You ran your fingers through his red hair, pulling him closer to kiss you deeper as his hands gripped your waist. His lips felt so soft against your own, teeth tugging on them softly as you opened your mouth to let him in. You weren’t sure how long you stood there kissing for, the sun started to set on Kashyyyk and you didn’t want to let him go so soon after not seeing him for more than enough time.

Cal dipped his head to your neck and bit down on it, lips teeth and tongue creating a dark bruise on your skin which you guranteed would be there for over a week. It felt sore, you tugged on his hair and let out a weak whimper as your eyes shut over. Cal smiled against your neck, biting down once more before leaning his head back and returning to your lips.

“(Y- (Y/N) are you there?” It was Merrin, her voice was static with the quality of the coms device on your wrist but you heard her loud and clear. You took a hesitant step back from Cal who’s arms were still around your waist.

“Yeah, I’m here” You replied, your voice cracking slightly which caused a blush to rise on your face as Cal chuckled silently and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Thank Maker you’re still alive, we were told an Inquisitor had arrived on Kashyyyk, are you alright?” She asked with worry, her heavy Dathomirian accent ringing out in the warm Kashyyyk air.

“I’m okay, a little hurt from a blaster shot but it’s just a scratch” You smiled, looking to Cal who frowned at your words and took a step back to inspect your body. You stifled a giggle as he spotted the blaster shot on your leg and looked like he was about to rip someone’s throat out.

“We’ve got bacta patches here, hurry up and get to the Mantis, Cere wants a word with you” Merrin sighed before switching off her coms and leaving you once more with your Inquisitor boyfriend.

Cal froze in his spot, looking up to you and opening his mouth to say something. Nothing came out of his mouth, you were guessing he just didn’t want to go and leave you once again.

Taking a step close to him, your heads leaned against one another and you closed your eyes, enjoying the silence between you and wrapping your arms around Cal once again to bid a painful farewell to him. Cal buried his head in your neck and hugged you tightly, stroking your hair as you yawned in his shoulder and caused him to chuckle.

“I should let you go” He sighed, pulling away and making you frown. Just as you were about to protest, you realised how late it was getting and how impatient Cere must be. You ruffled his hair playfully and made him laugh, his golden eyes narrowing as his cheek raised with the smile on his face.

“I really should get going” You mumbled, cupping his cheek and tracing it with your thumb. Cal closed his eyes and leaned into your touch, purring at the feeling until his eyes opened once more at the sound of a distant yell.

“I love you” You whispered to him, kissing him firmly and cupping the back of his neck as he kissed you back with just as much passion.

“I love you too” He pulled away, flicking your chin playfully with his index finger before you both picked up your lightsabers and gave each other one last yearning glance before running off in opposite directions, returning to the opposite lives you both had.

[halothenthehorns]

TLTNL- SNAPE’S WORST MEMORY

Vague note before you read; I don't like Snape. I never switched to honestly feeling anything other than vindictive 'I want to punch him in the face' syndrome for this guy. I never transgressed into the wondering realization he's a good person just because he loved someone. Yes he had a hard life, yes he sacrificed it to protect someone else, but I'm sorry, it does not make up for the countless things he does to children. Call it a cover, call it whatever you like, I don't condone it. 

Sorry if that disappoints you or you at all disagree, feel free to argue back as I do love differences of opinion and will never scorn anyone for thinking otherwise. At least know I will never put such things into the fic, verbatim anyways, because Harry clearly thinks differently, and this is his story. Like with all other characters who people have different opinions about, all sides will be shown, even Snape's.

HPHPHPHP

Remus glanced at the clock and saw it was getting close to lunchtime, but he decided to keep going now with even the slimmest of hopes Dumbledore would make some miraculous return. He just couldn't imagine it, Hogwarts without Dumbledore?! Even in Harry's second year the idea had trouble him, and the Ministry had caused that one as well, admittedly through Malfoy instead of Fudge, but how on Earth did this keep happening? He forced himself to remember it wasn't right now, Dumbledore was up at the school this moment helping them fight off Voldemort for now, so he had to remain focused on that to begin, and immediately regretted it.

BY ORDER OF THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC

"Oh not another one!" James demanded, though at some point he really should have stopped being so surprised.

Dolores Jane Umbridge (High Inquisitor) has replaced Albus Dumbledore as Head of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

The above is in accordance with Educational Decree Number Twenty-eight.

"That's not even, the Ministry can't-" James spluttered. The Ministry decreeing teachers at the school was mind blowing enough, but now apparently they could just assign headmasters to the school! What next, they were going to start put wizards behind the desk at Gringotts?

"I can not imagine this," Sirius groaned in disgust. "That, that kitten stalker behind Dumbledore's desk, and now with total control of the school! Is there anything she can't get away with doing now?"

Remus was so gray in color it was almost terrifying. The image wouldn't even form in his mind, the kind headmaster who had allowed him into the school replaced by that- that- he didn't even have any insults left!

Lily felt petrified for the students well being, she almost couldn't breathe for a moment at the thought of what all she could get away with now in regards to those detentions.

  Signed by the Minister of Magic. These notices had been put up in the school overnight, as well as the story spreading of Dumbledore's miraculous escape from said Minister, The High Inquisitor, two Aurors, and the Junior Assistant to the Minister.

"Percy wasn't there when that happened," James corrected. "He'd left before Dumbledore started the fight."

"I'm surprised the school wasn't adding in a whole Auror department to the list, so I didn't correct them," Harry shrugged.

Details of this had gone away with people, such as one girl insisting to another Fudge was now in St. Mungo's with a pumpkin for a head,

"I wish," Sirius grumbled.

but what was surprising was how accurate the rest of their information was.

"How did they know everything?" Harry asked bemusedly.

"The portraits," all four at once reminded him.

Such as the detail that only Harry and Marietta were witnesses, and as the later was still in the hospital wing trying to get her curse removed, Harry was now being bombarded with first-hand account requests.

"There's nothing new," Harry sighed.

When told to Ernie, on their way back from Herbology, he at once assured Dumbledore would be back, and even divulged his own herd information from the Fat Friar, that Umbridge had later been seen trying to get back into the office, but was now bard. Apparently she'd thrown a right tantrum when unable to get in.

"Ha!" Sirius' bark of triumphant laughter was heavily echoed by all of them. It wasn't nearly what the cat barf was owed, but for the smallest moment, they got to enjoy her misery instead of the other way around.

Hermione viciously said how much she'd have loved to seen that. Fancying herself up in the Head's office, lording over all the teachers while being a puffed-up, power-crazy old-

Cut in of did Granger really want to finish that sentence?

"Yes, yes she does," Sirius protested of whoever had interrupted something nice for a change.

Malfoy had come upon them.

"Why am I not surprised," James muttered as he buried his face in his hands, somehow knowing this was only about to get worse with that albino reject involved.

He at once declared he was going to have to take points from both houses.

"Prefects can't take points away from other houses," Remus scoffed.

"I'm sure he's just already been promised Head Boy and was practicing," James rolled his eyes.

Ernie corrected only teachers could dock points from houses that weren't theirs.

"I wonder how many times he's had to be reminded of that when trying to bully little first year Gryffindors," Sirius scowled.

Ron reminding they were Prefects too.

"Actually sometimes I forgot," Harry muttered. After the initial shock, Ron had never made much of a show of it except for a few occasions.

Malfoy agreed prefects couldn't dock their points, also referring to him as Weasel King,

"Clever," Remus sneered with exaggerated sarcasm.

but the Inquisitorial Squad-

"The what?" Remus was interrupted by all four of them, which he found unnecessary as he'd been wondering the exact same thing.

he was cut off by Hermione demanding what that was.

Malfoy pointed to the I silver badge he had on his robes above his own Prefect badge, stating it was a select group hand picked by Professor Umbridge.

"I'm going to cry," Sirius vowed. "I, this, how do they keep managing to make shit up as they go along!"

"I never would have believed the school could turn into something so," James trailed off, without words for how different this place had become from his memory.

The Inquisitorial Squad did have the power to dock points from anyone.

"That just, completely undermines the whole system," Lily rubbed furiously at her forehead, thinking Fudge should be done with it already and rename Hogwarts 'The pre-Ministry of Magic.'

Then he continued with his first though, taking five from Granger for insulting the Headmistress, five from Macmillan for correcting him, five from Potter because he didn't like him,

Harry's eyes had narrowed with every insult Malfoy had given, even after all these years he still managed to find ways to be the most insufferable person in that castle, his only saving grace was he wasn't as bad as Snape and Umbridge, yet.

then five from Weasley for his shirt being untucked,

"Just take a round hundred why don't you, it'll be faster!" Sirius felt like his eyes were going to pop out of his head if he rolled them any harder.

oh, and he'd almost forgotten, an extra ten from Granger for being a Mudblood.

"Nice to know he forgets sometimes," Remus said testily, "I certainly never fail to forget how much of an arse he is."

Ron furiously reached for his wand, while Hermione pushed his arm down and hissed at him not to.

"Is she off her rocker?" Lily snarled. "I'd have cursed him at the start of this already."

"Trust me, none of us would have stopped you," James growled.

Malfoy was uncovered, stating new Head, new times, they'd better be getting used to this. Then they left.

The four turned to the hour-glasses that showed all house points, worrying that this couldn't really be happening,

"I wish I'd thought that for even a second," James shook his head, but he'd long since stopped questioning the depths that woman would go.

but even as they watched, the points shot down. Whereas Gryffindor had been neck and neck with Ravenclaw this morning, now they were both significantly less, as was Hufflepuffs house showing immense drops, the only unchanged one being Slytherin.

Lily looked about ready to pull her hair out in frustration. She couldn't believe such blatant favoritism could continue, the system had been slightly off kilter before and now it was just rampant.

The twins arrived then, commiserating Montague had tried the same thing with them during break.

"What does he mean, tried?" Sirius eagerly demanded.

Ron asked what he meant by tried?

Sirius was so giddy to hear any bout of revenge, he didn't even bother to gloat he'd just mimicked Ron.

Fred said without concern he hadn't gotten all the words out, as they'd stuffed him into the Vanishing Cabinet on the first floor before he could.

All five of them burst out with laughter for this, Harry's feeling a little more forced than he understood why.

Hermione looked shocked, saying they'd get into trouble.

Fred disagreed, at least not until they found Montague, and that could take weeks. Then they declared they still didn't care.

"Did they ever?" Lily rolled her eyes.

"Never been expelled were they," James defended. "Clearly they had some restraint."

Lily wasn't sure how he was able to say that as if it were actually a good thing.

Hermione asked if they ever had?

George said of course, they'd never been expelled.

Without looking up, Remus reached over and put his hand against Sirius' mouth so he could keep going very loudly. Sirius waited impatiently until his hand got tired and he removed it before bursting out anyways, "Lily and James mimicked them!"

"Thank you Blackie, I hadn't noticed," James said blandly, while Sirius crinkled his face in disgust for that nickname.

"Shut up Comet," Sirius snapped back.*

Fred pointing out they'd always drawn the line, George correcting they might have crossed it occasionally, but Fred pointing out they'd never caused real mayhem.

"Honestly, I'm not quite sure why," Remus mock pouted.

"I know I wouldn't have the restraint with the year I've been hearing about," Sirius agreed.

Ron asked about now?

Fred and George simultaneously agreed mayhem was exactly what their new Head deserved.

"I love them!" James declared. "Lily, we need to have twins."

Lily smacked him upside the head even while she was repressing giggles.

Hermione said they couldn't, Umbridge would have them expelled.

"I recall a conversation where they don't care," Sirius said eagerly, wondering how on Earth this could be Hermione's first thought.

Fred shook his head at her naivety, saying they didn't care, they'd leave right now except they wanted to pay their dues to Dumbledore first.

James was still bouncing in his seat like an excited toddler, glee and eagerness to hear what he'd been expecting from the pair of them ever since Umbridge had kicked his son off the Quidditch team. He had no clue what they'd been doing in the meantime, but surmised that the change may well have been they'd finally gotten premises for wherever their shop was to be. Glory this was going to be worth the wait, of that he was confident.

Then George informed them they may want to toddle along to the Great Hall so the teachers could see them peacefully at lunch.

Hermione asked why, and George promised they'd see.

"I'd fear for my life if I were Umbridge," Remus' grin was stretching into one Harry had grown to associate with a Marauder story.

"She hasn't the sense, and I'm almost glad for it," Sirius corrected with the same look in place.

Fred and George disappeared, and Ernie quickly did the same muttering about homework.

"I forgot he was there," Lily snickered. "I wonder how well he knew the twins before this to have such a reaction?"

"Clearly quite well, as he knew to make a run for it," Harry said with a smirk.

Hermione said perhaps they should go get some lunch.

James clucked his tongue at Hermione, Dumbledore couldn't have dragged him away from watching this.

Ron instantly agreed, and the three tried to move in with the rest of the que,

All three boys groaned loudly in agitation, they would have paid anything to get front row seats for whatever the twins had planned, and their boy was walking away from it!

Harry hardly looked upset at their reaction, he was vividly remembering already that they wouldn't have long to wait for details.

but when Harry turned around, he came face to face with Filch. He quickly took a step back, the caretaker was best viewed from a distance.

"Filch is best viewed not at all," Sirius corrected while all of them frowned for what this news could be for. Filch did not single out students for good reasons.

He told Potter the Headmistress wanted to see him.

"Don't call Dumbledore a woman," James rolled his eyes.

Harry at once stupidly said he didn't do it, his mind still on Fred and George.

Lily busted out laughing loudly at the look of chagrin on Harry's face and the three boys affronted look their boy was such a terrible on the spot liar. It hurt their soul.

Filch gave a silent, wheezing laughter at his guilty conscience, then instructed him to follow.

"Don't do it Harry," Sirius said at once.

"And what, run the other way and get in more trouble?" Harry demanded.

Sirius declined answering no matter how tempted he was to say yes, run all the way to Grimmauld place. Who'd have thought he'd ever even think such a thing?

He exchanged a look with Ron and Hermione before doing so, and as they left the crowd, he saw Filch was in an extremely good mood.

"Great, now I'm starting to fear for your life," Remus groaned.

"At least I have the sense to agree," Harry sighed.

He hummed to himself all the way up the marble staircase before informing Potter things were going to be changing around here.

"We've noticed," James said harshly, it had been disturbing him for quite some time.

Harry coldly said he'd noticed.

"Oh good, I thought it had just been us," Sirius tried for a happy snicker, though it was clear how distracted he was he hadn't realized this had been said twice.

Filch continued he'd been telling Dumbledore for years he was too soft on the students.

"And your idea of correcting that was medieval torture," Remus pleasantly reminded. "I'm sure he can understand why normal teachers methods are better."

These filthy little beasts dropping Stink Pellets every which way, they wouldn't have been doing so if they'd known he had the power to whip them raw.

Lily blanched in horror while the boys smiled grimly. They just couldn't believe Filch would ever go through with it, considering how often he'd threatened this and he'd always been laughed off.

Nobody would have been throwing Fanged Frisbees down the corridors if he could've strung them up by the ankles in his office.

"Why doesn't he ever just go for the Heretic fork, that's a grand old torture," Sirius offered in what he was sure was a helpful tone of voice.

"I don't even want to know what that is," Lily shook her head.

When the new Educational Decree Number Twenty-nine came through though, oh he'd be able to do that and much more.

"If he ever goes through with that, I'll give the man his own award," Remus snickered with a bit of an edge, implying it wasn't a trophy kind.

The Minister had even signed an order for the expulsion of Peeves.

"They're going to blow up that castle trying," James said conversationally.

"Hopefully the twins stick around long enough at least see that," Remus said without concern.

Harry was not happy to hear the lengths Umbridge had gone to to get Filch on her side, but he knew they'd pay off considering his extensive knowledge of all the school's secret passages, rivaled only by the Weasley twins.

"While that's true," Sirius sighed, "I still can't find him anymore of a credible threat than his cat. Timing is key in avoidance of him."

He finally stopped outside Umbridge's office, so very familiar to Harry from his many detentions.

"I'd be very pleased if you stopped reminding me of that," Lily hissed, though it wouldn't actually help, as that was ingrained into her being as much as the back of his hand.

The usual pink décor was as eye watering as ever, the only new thing the block of wood on her desk declaring her as Headmistress.

Remus adopted quite a cruel smirk for that was all she could claim, a useless block of wood. The school would never follow her.

Also his Firebolt and the twins Cleansweeps were chained to the wall behind her desk with iron pegs.

Lily raised a brow and stated, "a bit overkill," while James and Sirius looked physically pained at the thought.

She thanked Argus for his fetching Potter, while Harry took a seat. Not knowing what fresh horror to expect,

"I stopped wondering that and now just dread it," Remus grumbled.

he was completely started when she asked him what he'd like to drink.

"Don't do it Harry," James said at once.

"It's probably poisoned," Sirius agreed grimly.

"I just wouldn't accept anything from her on principle," Remus crinkled his nose at the thought, all of them wondering at what she hoped to accomplish by the sudden nicety.

When he hesitated, she prompted tea, coffee, pumpkin juice?

"The most fast acting poison you have," Lily muttered.

He at first refused, but upon her persistence, he picked tea.

She turned her back and made quite a show of pouring it into the cup as well as some milk before turning back to him.

"I'm starting to think that wasn't a joke," Lily told Sirius.

"I never meant it as one," Sirius agreed.

She requested he drink up while they have a chat, but when Harry still only held the cup, she impatiently waved him to try it.

The look on Harry's face was clearly strained, and they could all understand why at having to play niceties at this. The real problem was they couldn't put their finger down on why she was doing this.

He finally raised the cup to his lips, but froze at the last second upon spotting a kitten with very blue eyes, the same shade as Mad-Eye Moody's special eye. He could easily imagine what the old Auror would say to him drinking something from a known enemy.

James's mouth popped open with outrage. "You mean you actually were going to take a sip before you saw that?"

"But I didn't," Harry protested, starting to rub in agitation at his forehead, somehow knowing he'd be quite grateful for this, though not a clue as to why, she hadn't really poisoned that had she?

"At least Mad-Eye left a good impression, even the fake one," Sirius grumbled.

Instead he falsely took a sip with his lips firmly pressed together, and once he had, she asked if he knew where Albus Dumbledore was.

Lily was getting a worse feeling by the second, and she hadn't thought it could be possible, considering his company. "Why does she think you'd know that?"

"No clue," Harry sighed, as always wishing he had a better answer for them.

Harry instantly said he had no clue, and Umbridge went right back to encouraging to drink up his tea.

James kept shifting his weight with heavy unease, wishing she'd stop with the farce of politeness in this drink already, though perhaps that's the only way to be nice she knew, the fake kind. All he really wanted to do was transform her into a teapot and shatter the pieces already.

When she repeated the question but got the same answer, she switched to asking for the whereabouts of Sirius Black.

Remus choked hard, he couldn't even get his full name out, but he didn't need to, it was clear they'd understood.

"No," James hissed, looking nearly faint.

"No, she can't have, there's no way she knew that was you!" Lily protested. "I, you, you've actually been really careful, and smart, and..." she trailed off, because her words gave her no comfort, and it was clear they were going straight past the others.

"Okay, okay," Harry practically yelled to keep their attention before they had an utter panic attack to rival the one screaming in his head. "She doesn't know where he is, that's why she's asking!"

"But why!" Remus snarled, his eyes glued to the words, ignoring how hard it was becoming to breathe from the mounting fear. "She shouldn't have any clue what you know about him, as far as they're concerned he's still after you!"

"Something's changed," Sirius said slowly, and honestly the scariest part to all of them was how hard Sirius was clearly trying to keep up his usual calm in regards to this. "The only thing I can think of was that Azkaban break. Despite their stupid story they published, they realized something wasn't right, and they're trying to find some alternative. The only one they've got is what Dumbledore offered, so if they believe I was out trying to help Harry..." he trailed off with a miserable shake to his head. He had no hope that this change would help him at all, they'd still do everything in their power to bury all this even while looking for someone to blame.

Remus was not comforted, none of them were. It terrified him to keep going, to know what else Umbridge had called Harry up there to ask, though what in her sugar frosted mind made her think he'd answer was beyond him. Most likely she was just looking for a tell, some way to show he was lying to throw him back in detention.

Harry's stomach turned violently, the teacup in his hand shook and he pretended to take another long drink to stall, spilling some over his chin before answering he had no clue to this as well.

James couldn't help his high pitched keening noise. Harry was a terrible liar, they'd well established this, so if Umbridge had any uncertainties before, she'd know now Harry did know something.

Harry recognized that look, and flinched with guilt. He could feel tears stinging his eyes in frustration that he couldn't do Sirius any help, that somehow he was in fact going to make this all worse for his Godfather.

Umbridge was not impressed, saying she knew there had been someone in the Gryffindor tower, all the Floo Networks were being watched, except her own of course.

Harry made much the same noise James just had in distress. Remus gave him a sympathetic look for all the wrong reasons, but all they could think of was how upset Harry was he'd be going the rest of the year without talking to Sirius, something none of them had ever had to do.

Her Inquisitorial Squad was going through all mail, Filch keeping an eye on every secret passageway. If she found one shred of evidence-

BOOM!

"Thank you," Sirius nodded solemnly. "I really wanted her to be cut off."

James had to think hard past his unending worries regarding his brother to recall where or why this noise would be made, and had never yet been more grateful for the twins.

The floor shook, Umbridge nearly slipped off her chair, as both looked in surprise to the door. Umbridge took off at once, and Harry only paused long enough to dump his still full cup into a plants vase before darting after her.

"I'm sure that saved your life," Lily shook her head, they still hadn't ruled out that drink being deadly.

He could hear people running and screaming several floors below.

"Well Harry certainly has an alibi now," Remus muttered.

The source was not difficult to find.

"I'd be disappointed if it was," Sirius rolled his eyes.

One floor down, pandemonium reigned. Somebody (and Harry had a very shrewd idea who)

"Flitwick?" James offered helpfully.

"No, no, Crookshanks must have set something off," Sirius said blandly.

"You're both ridiculous," Remus told them fondly, "obviously it was Ginny."

Harry found a smile somewhere in him for their antics. He couldn't help it, they never ceased to be able to do that no matter how heavy his mind got.

had set off what seemed to be an enormous crate of enchanted fireworks.

"Moony," Sirius pouted, "why do you always get the best parts."

Remus scowled at him, honestly thinking that heart failure over what Umbridge could know had hardly been worth discovering whatever the twins were up to, but merely smacked him upside the head in response.

Dragons comprised entirely of green and gold sparks were soaring up and down the corridors, emitting loud fiery blasts and bangs as they went; shocking-pink Catherine wheels five feet in diameter were whizzing lethally through the air like so many flying saucers; rockets with long tails of brilliant silver stars were ricocheting off the walls; sparklers were writing swear words in midair of their own accord; firecrackers were exploding like mines everywhere Harry looked, and instead of burning themselves out, fading from sight or fizzling to a halt, these pyrotechnical miracles seemed to be gaining in energy and momentum the longer he watched.

Filch and Umbridge were standing, apparently transfixed in horror, halfway down the stairs. As Harry watched, one of the larger Catherine wheels seemed to decide that what it needed was more room to manoeuvre; it whirled towards Umbridge and Filch with a sinister 'wheeeeeeeeee'. They both yelled with fright and ducked, and it soared straight out of the window behind them and off across the grounds. Meanwhile, several of the dragons and a large purple bat that was smoking ominously took advantage of the open door at the end of the corridor to escape towards the second floor.**

Umbridge screamed at Filch to stun them before they could get away while firing off the spell herself.

The others had been far too enraptured listening to such descriptions to dare interrupt, but now that it was clear their details had been shut off for now, they still couldn't quite force words of wonder from their mouths, they were actually stunned stupid by something so spectacular occurring in their old hallways.

"The, twins, managed..." Remus trailed off there, words weren't good enough to cover this fantastic feat.

"These are the best kids ever!" Sirius shouted, his vivid imagination nearly not enough to cover this.

"I don't care what we do, we have to make sure at least this is managed again," James stated in no uncertain terms.

Lily was too busy giggling in agreement to add in.

However, the moment the red spell connected with a rocket, it exploded and tore out a chunk of wall. Umbridge at once turned on Filch and told him not to do that as if he'd suggested it.

"I'm not surprised she blames her actions on others," Lily managed to get out less hatefully than normal considering she was still laughing.

Filch needlessly agreed, being a Squib he could do this no more than swallow them,

"No, but I'd like to see him try," Sirius said with enthusiasm.

but instead went for a broom and tried swatting at them, only managing to achieve setting that on fire.

"Probably his most brilliant idea ever," Remus cackled.

Harry ducked away still laughing like crazy, and found the twins in the nearest corridor listening to the chaos with suppressed mirth.

"They've far more restraint than I would have thought," Lily managed while her shoulders still shook. "I would have expected them to proudly be standing under them."

"No sense when everyone will know who did it, but then you can't prove it," James corrected.

Harry told them he was impressed, they'd put Filibuster out of business for sure.

"Well I should hope not," James couldn't stop smirking. "A little healthy competition is good for them."

George whispered he hoped she tried Vanishing them next, that made them multiply by ten.

Impossibly, fresh and renewed laughter began again in here, now they were all wondering the ways these things could get better the more magic you tried to use on them.

The show continued for the rest of the day, often disrupting classes, though the teachers hardly seemed to mind.

"Because we have the best staff ever," Harry managed in between roaring with laughter.

For instance, when a dragon came soaring through the room, McGonagall blandly asked Miss Brown to go fetch their headmistress without out so much as looking up from her desk.

"I miss McGonagall," Remus wheezed out.

The highlight of all this being Umbridge spent her first day as Headmistress running around the castle covered in soot in her attempt to be rid of the firework, whom the teachers seemed incapable of expelling without her around.

"But of course not," Sirius widened his eyes with mock concern despite a few tears still pouring out of them. "We have no idea what kind of magic is behind these, who knows whose subject they relate to," which only managed to fill the room with even more laughter.

Flitwick had even been seen thanking her for the help, after all, he wasn't sure he had the authority to do this himself, before slamming the door in her face.

Lily nearly fell off the couch in utter hysterics, her infant laughing loudly along the only restraint holding her together.

The twins were the heroes of the common room that night, taking orders from everyone in the school for their own set of Weasleys Wildfire Whiz-bangs. Hermione fought her way through just to congratulate them, and they offered to add her to the list for a discount.

She returned to Harry and Ron to find them watching their bags as if hoping the homework would spring out and do itself.

"Wait, wait," James insisted with a rewind motion, and continued with the most important question yet, "did she buy some?"

Harry just blinked innocently without response.

Hermione offered they could do that later as wheel went whizzing past the window.

"I knew it!" Sirius pumped his fist in triumph. "I knew that one had to have more fun in her life than we'd been led to believe."

Ron asked if she was feeling alright, and she happily informed them she was feeling a bit rebellious.

"I'm so proud," James didn't even have to fake rubbing tears from his face.

"Only took her group getting disbanded to admit it," Harry chuckled.

"Though how she went from an illegal study group to not doing homework as rebellious is beyond me," Sirius said only semi-intelligible from laughing so hard.

Even when he headed up to bed they were still going full strong, a sparkler pausing right at their dorm window to write out Poo.

Harry was starting to get worried none of them had stopped laughing for so long, surely they were all going to run out of air soon, and yet none of them could seem to care. This was far too brilliant and a perfect shot of relief after all the stress they'd been dealing with of late.

He got into bed grinning at what Fudge would think when he heard of Umbridge's first day at Dumbledore's job,

"Probably furious," Sirius said with chipper.

"I can only hope it gets worse," Remus insisted with a grin, though he was flabbergasted how after that display.

and how Fudge would react when he heard that the school had spent most of the day in a state of advanced disruption.

"Oh I'm sure he'll find some way to cover it up, that's what he's best at," James rolled his eyes.

The moment he closed his eyes though, he was back in the long dark corridor of the Department of Mysteries, racing to the black door that opened to his touch.

The smiles slipped right off all of their faces like Snape had just appeared into the room. It felt impossible it should happen so fast, but the reminder of this dream and how deep Harry kept going just couldn't feel any good for them as it only reminded them of Voldemort's unexplained connection, and obsession with this place.

He was inside the circular room lined with doors . . . he crossed it, placed his hand on an identical door and it swung inwards . . .

Remus released a sharp breath, he didn't want to keep going, to find out how far Voldemort had gone inside this place. Whatever Voldemort was after it wasn't a good thing, couldn't those fireworks just wake Harry up again already.

Then he was in a new, rectangular room full of odd ticking sounds with odd specks of light, but he didn't investigate and kept pushing on into the next room, which was the largest yet, as big as a cathedral and filled with enormous rows of small, dusty looking spheres...and he knew this was it, he wanted something in here more than anything...and his scar was hurting-

BANG!

Remus finally sighed in relief, shaking slightly from failed adrenalin in the face of coming within arms reach of this mysterious whatever it was. He glanced up at the others, to see if they had any idea of what to make of that new information, when he saw Harry in a right state.

His face was screwed up tight, once tears of mirth now clearly were burning out from something far more unbearable. It was heartbreaking, to watch him flip so drastically all because his mind was forced to live through so many things at one time, things he couldn't even put into words without fearing something far worse happening than just pain.

Lily was trying to surge forward even still cradling her infant, but James beat her to the punch, trying to make his sitting on the edge of the couch casual even as he hovered over Harry in pure agitation he couldn't be of more help than this.

They all wanted to do more, say something for him, but he seemed paralyzed with pain, and Remus would do anything to help him, and so he did the only thing he could think of.

Harry awoke back in his dorm, confused and angry to hear laughter all around him, Seamus shouting about how cool that was,

"No, no it isn't," James grumbled petulantly as he continued to rub at Harry's back.

Remus agreed, having to fight hard to keep his attention on the book.

all four of them crowded around a window where a wheel and a rocket seemed to have mated.

It took an extra moment for them to reel back and remember what they'd just been laughing so hard about, and Harry wished he could feel more regret for ruining their moment of fun instead of always being the source of a problem with his blasted mind.

Harry did not get up and join them, instead left stewing with disappointment, like he'd been denied a wonderful treat.

Harry forced out a laugh that sounded nothing but hollow to everyone, even his own ears. He almost longed for that feeling now, it would be better than the wash of other things he kept feeling as a constant mention of that place continued to make him sick with worry.

A glittering pink and silver winged piglets was now soaring past the windows of Gryffindor Tower outside, actually catching Harry's attention.

Lily opened and closed her mouth in fasciation, longing to just go back and marvel at the twins magic with these things, and yet never having been less interested in magic as her child fought to retain any sense of normality.

Yet he still could not and join the whoops of joy from those around him, as he now remembered he had an Occlumency lesson the following evening.

"Oh boy," Sirius grumbled distastefully, while Harry somehow managed to look all the more worried about that.

He spent the whole day worrying what Snape's reaction was going to be when he saw Harry had gotten even farther, and his guilt only rose when he realized how long it had been since he'd bothered practicing his Occlumency.

"Can't even blame you," James shook his head pitifully for everything Harry went through on a daily basis, how Dumbledore, Snape, or anyone expected Harry to empty his mind of all that was beyond him.

There had been too much going on since Dumbledore had left; he was sure he would not have been able to empty his mind even if he had tried.

"Honestly understandable," Remus sighed, his heavy eyes hadn't really gained much back with so many sleepless nights in a row from here, he could imagine it being just as bad in the months for Harry with longer to dread on these things than they gave themselves.

He doubted, however, whether Snape would accept that excuse.

Lily made a deep throated noise of agitation, entirely not looking forward to what Snape was going to say to him about this.

He tried to empty his mind during classes, which helped nothing as teachers kept shooting review questions around.

"Well I could have warned you of that," Sirius tried for a smile that still felt forced. They'd gone from roaring laughter to sickened with worry about Harry in the span of a second, and now nothing was being helped by the tense set up of another bout of Snape insults directed at Harry.

He trudged miserably down to the dungeons that night, and was very grateful for the distraction of spotting Cho. She'd been standing there watching the hour-glasses, Gryffindor's was nearly empty.

All five of them made a small little noise of agitation, even at something so small still so pestering as that blasted made up group of Malfoy's.

He asked how she was doing, if Umbridge had given her any grief for her membership of the DA.

Cho said no, but took the opportunity to say she'd never dreamed Marietta would tell on them.

Harry reflected back that Marietta was still in the hospital wing with her pimples and couldn't come up with a response for Cho for that.

All of them felt a vindictive laugh somewhere inside themselves for that, Hermione really was something special.

Cho kept going she was a lovely person, she'd just made a mistake.

James blinked in surprise, and just a little admiration for Cho still standing by her friend like that. He of course wanted to add a few more curses to Marietta for what she'd done to Harry, but Cho had just earned herself a few points.

Harry looked at her incredulously, demanding a mistake? She'd sold all of them out!

"I still wish I had some sort of motive for her doing that," Remus scowled.

"Not one good enough to excuse it," Sirius scoffed.

James and Lily frowned slightly, knowing they more than likely would have defended their friends if they'd done the same thing, but then again, they just couldn't imagine their friends doing this. Cho probably hadn't either, and it really was good of her still sticking with her through that.

Cho insisted everyone had gotten away.

"Thanks to Dumbledore," Remus shook his head slowly, he still wasn't quite sure how to wrap his mind around all of that.

Her mum works for the Ministry,

"I haven't forgotten," Sirius said in disgust with a slight shiver. Miss Edgecombe had nearly been the death of him, he wasn't likely to forget that.

Harry cut off to say so did his friends dad, and he didn't have sneak written across his face.

Cho snapped that was a terrible trick of Hermione's.

"Nah," James smirked, honestly considering this Hermione's best move yet, even trumping what she'd done to Skeeter.

She should have told she'd jinxed that paper.

"Well if she'd done that than hardly anyone would have signed it." Lily rolled her eyes.

"She could have told them all after the fact," Remus offered with a grin.

"Nah, this was much more fun, the person couldn't consider their consequences before they made the crappy decision," Sirius decided.

Cho scoffed that of course if Hermione had thought it a good idea, her eyes now bright.

Harry snapped at her not to start crying again.

"Harry, you do know that does not actually prevent anyone from crying?" Sirius asked him in concern.

Harry just huffed, he really hadn't been expecting this fight with Cho, but somehow was relieved for it to finally have happened all the same. However pretty she still was in his memories, her flat refusal to acknowledge the stupid thing her friend had done had finally driven out any feelings he had for her.

She shouted back she wasn't going to!

Harry said just as loudly good, he had enough to cope with.

She told him to go cope with it then before storming off.

"Well, I think that's done with," James gazed at the book with some pity for Harry's first crush having so many disasters back to back.

"The wrong sparks did fly," Remus agreed with a sad little smile.

Harry just clucked his tongue, still not as angry now as he was then, far more concerned with other things in his mind he couldn't reach, and that cemented it for the lot of them. Harry clearly didn't seem to care all that much for his relationship with Cho just evaporating.

Harry went off in an even worse temper, but now instead of dreading Snape, he was thinking of a few more things he'd have liked to have said to Cho.

"You're one of those who always comes up with the comebacks after the fact," James told Harry pleasantly.

"I premake up most of mine and wait for the situation," Sirius smirked.

"Suppose that leaves more room for you to follow the conversation," Lily snipped at him.

He arrived with Snape once again depositing memories into a Pensive.

"Just what does he keep in that?" Remus rolled his eyes.

Harry twitched hard in unease, he had a bad feeling he was about to find out, but it mostly went unnoticed as they all thought he was just preparing himself for another lash of Occlumency.

They began as usual, squaring off with wands out on either side of the desk, but before Snape could cast this time, the door banged open and Malfoy sped in.

"I'm surprised that hasn't happened before now," James rolled his eyes, "him barging in there to tattle on some first year Slytherin taking his favorite chair."

"What a sight to walk in on though," Remus raised a curious brow, he'd certainly pause at this with some concern.

He paused in shock upon the sight though, Snape lowering his wand first and asking what Draco needed.

Remus rolled his eyes, finding Snape referring to Malfoy by his first name really showed the depths to the two's relationship. The teachers should always refer to the student by last name out of sheer habit. He found this proof that Snape had a more familiar relationship with Malfoy, as if he'd needed it before now.

Potter was just here for remedial Potions.

"With their wands pointed at each other," Sirius emphasized. "If that wasn't a dumb enough excuse before, it gets worse every time."

Harry had not seen Malfoy look so gleeful since Umbridge had turned up to inspect Hagrid.

"And I know how much you long to see that expression," Lily scowled.

He would have given a great deal to be able to shout the truth at Malfoy,

"Why?" All four of them demanded of him.

"To make that stupid look disappear," Harry told them like he thought they were being very stupid on purpose.

or, even better, to hit him with a good curse.

"That's the response I was expecting," James nodded, feeling the world back on balance.

Malfoy put whatever he had to say about this on hold as he informed that Umbridge had requested his Professor,

"She's already tried to poison one student this week, I don't see how he could help with that," Sirius rolled his eyes.

Lily wanted to be more furious that Snape was in Umbridge's good graces like this, but then again, it was all the more sad she wasn't surprised considering how much the two seemed so alike.

They'd found Montague,

Sirius spluttered like he had a broken jaw.

"They did that how long ago?" Remus interpreted. "I think that's a new record."

"Ours only lasted a day, tops," James pouted.

"What even is that thing?" Harry demanded, quite sure his level of unease with this thing had nothing to do with the Slytherin Quidditch captains fait.

"You shove people in it, and they vanish," Sirius came back enough to helpfully explain.

Remus rolled his eyes at his inept friend and more properly said, "I'm sure you remember as vividly as we do that Nick broke one above Filch's office in your second year."

Harry nodded eagerly, he was still wondering what about that felt so significant. "Well there's matching pairs, always are. The one on the first floor the twins used is probably the still functioning one, but without the other to go through, it'll just leave you in limbo until it finds an opening to pop you out, but the magic is very vague about it all, and we have no clue what it's indications were when this would happen."

"It was pure need to understand such magic that we kept testing it," James offered with an impish smirk.

Remus' mouth was twitching in much the same way as he watched Harry curiously to see if he'd gotten it.

Harry wanted to smile back, but his mind felt torn in two. He still wanted to ask more about these things, but something about the Marauders and that look on their face...it was all fun now, but he had a feeling it bothered him for some reason soon.

He tried tentatively to understand all of this by asking slowly, "so, when you lot, err-"

"Put someone in cause they annoyed us," Sirius offered helpfully.

"Right," Harry paused to roll his eyes, "it just pushed the person out the other one?"

"We had to disable it for our needs to work," James's eyes widened innocently. "It was no fun if they just reappeared."

"We put it back together when we were done though," Remus still couldn't wipe a smirk away. "Couldn't have the teachers knowing we were messing with it."

"Never as badly as what Nick did though," Sirius was still laughing heavily, "so Merlin knows if they even are fixable now."

"Let me get this straight," Lily said dangerously. "You shoved people into a magical item, you had no clue what it would do to them, and then you continued to further break it apart to see what else would happen to them?"

"It happened to me first," Remus offered in defense of them. "Some Hufflepuff James had gotten last week shoved me into one for revenge, I made a reappearance a day later."

"It sort of just spiraled out from there," Sirius agreed.

Lily had spent the entire conversation frowning heavily at the lot of them, she'd never enjoyed hearing about their blatant ways of dealing with people that annoyed them. It was nice to see Harry wasn't exactly amused by this, but he was also clearly distracted by something so she wasn't sure how much he'd been paying attention past their actual words.

Absolutely none of Harry's thoughts had been helped by them, now not only was he positive something of these things should not be laughed at, but his lesson with Snape was feeling more foreboding than ever. He still nodded at Remus to indicate he was done for now.

he'd turned up jammed inside a toilet on the fourth floor.

James and Sirius roared with laughter, Remus trying hard to hide his own amusement behind the book and failing a bit.

Snape demanded how he'd wound up there, and Malfoy said he had no clue.

Snape dismissed Potter, saying he was to come back tomorrow to continue. Malfoy only paused long enough to mouth remedial potions at him before following.

"That's going to bite him in the arse later," Lily tisked loudly, though it hardly did anything to dampen the boys new found amusement. They'd gotten to hear the end results of yet another prank from the twins and had Snape's stupid lesson pushed off for a moment longer, they were now jovial, and hoped their mood would help Harry out of whatever funk his mind was clearly still stuck in.

Seething, Harry replaced his wand inside his robes and made to leave the room. At least he had twenty-four more hours in which to practice;

"There's the bright side," Lily persisted in pointing out, though clearly being ignored by all.

but all he really felt was the expense Malfoy was going to put into telling the school of his remedial Potions.

"I'm surprised Smith hadn't done that already," Sirius rolled his eyes.

He was at the door when he saw it, dappled lights dancing off the glass jars, that reminded him of his dream in the Department of Mysteries.

All five of them shivered heavily at the reminder, Harry looked ready to fall off the couch every time this was mentioned.

He turned around and saw it was only the Pensive still shining brightly, and wondered again what was in his memories?

"So quickly run from the room, otherwise you might see him again when you've so graciously been deprived of that," James said enthusiastically, he really hadn't a care for what could be in there.

Harry gazed at the Pensive, curiosity welling inside him, what was it that Snape was so keen to hide from Harry?

"Oh Harry," Lily sighed in exhaustion, wanting to press her face into her hands already as she felt where this was going. "Did you learn nothing from your lesson in Dumbledore's Pensive?"

Harry did not answer, though considering the feelings pumping through him, he was confident he hadn't thought that far ahead.

Harry took a step forward, his mind convincing him this must have something to do with the Department of Mysteries.

"I wouldn't honestly be that surprised," Remus agreed, "but you've no idea how to work that thing, so you'll just be plunged into the last thing he was thinking of when he put memories in there."

"Though that may honestly be it," Sirius said with a calmer tone creeping in Remus instantly regretted. "He wasn't hiding away private memories from his childhood, those were still in his head when Harry went in. Maybe it is Order business he's more worried about. If Harry wants to find out about them, this is the place I'd look."

"You're encouraging this," Lily yelped furiously. "Show some privacy!"

"He's not showing Harry any," James rolled his eyes, instantly tagging along to Sirius' side. Though he did raise his hands in surrender upon Lily's flashing eyes. "I wish he wouldn't, he has no way to get himself out of the memory, only Snape can do that, but I'm sick of him never being told anything and I know you are too."

Lily scowled heavily at the both of them as she didn't find that the point.

He tried to guess how long Snape would be gone, surely as the Slytherin Quidditch Captain, even after Montague was unstuck from the toilet, he'd be escorted to the hospital wing.

"The time frame is irrelevant," Remus scolded. "You weren't the one to put those memories in, so you can't pull yourself out until you've seen them all. Could be days worth of storage in there."

Harry wished he'd known that, but again, he now knew he hadn't thought that far ahead, and he had a bad feeling he'd soon regret it.

He stepped even farther forward, using his wand to tap the surface, and the image instantly turned so that Harry was now looking down into the Great Hall.

"Not at all what I was hoping for," Sirius sighed, he'd honestly been hoping for Dumbledore's office, or even Grimmauld places basement, something he'd been hoping for in relevance to whatever Snape was up to. An image of Voldemort, Snape talking to some member of the Order, anything other than what the man had for breakfast. There was no way something interesting to them happened in there, he'd probably just been admiring Umbridge's technique of making children cry.

He hesitated, but suddenly his anger seized him, of Snape, Cho, and Malfoy. He took a great breath, and plunged face first in.

"There you have it," Remus sighed without surprise. "Harry's a dead man."

"So he is some new kind of ghost," Sirius chuckled while prodding at Harry. "Fascinating, can I name him?"

"No," all four of them said at once.

The sensation of falling through black, spinning through nothing- and then he was standing in the great hall, except instead of the House tables, there were desks all over, quills scratching against parchment, it was clearly exam time.

"Huh?" James looked floored at this start, why would something of Snape's school years be so precious to hide away? He couldn't imagine doing the same.

"I know exams are close so they'd be on his mind, but this is ridiculous," Sirius rolled his eyes and yawned already out of sheer boredom.

Remus kept going blandly, and some disappointment. Harry was going to be in the worst amount of trouble yet, and apparently he wasn't even going to get to see anything good out of it.

He began looking around in the sunlight room for the man, this was his memory so he had to be here somewhere.

Though James did smirk a bit Harry may get a glimpse of him, he was sure his son would at least get a kick out of that.

When he did find him, it was a teenage version with a stringy, pallid look, like a plant in the dark.

Lily scoffed heavily and rolled her eyes, finding too much of his father's influence in that description. She'd always thought of him as a sickly pale, thin hair a silky black, admittedly too thin but still with a smile that drew her in to know what he was thinking. She supposed it was all in the eye of the beholder, as that was still how she'd describe him at fifteen. Picturing him now as the hateful man tormenting her son and his classmates, she may well have called him many of the same things Harry just had.

He read the parchment he was working on upside down, which said Defence Against the Dark Arts- Ordinary Wizarding Level.

"Uhoh," James hummed in concern, suddenly hurrying back to his Lily Flowers side, he hadn't expected it to be this exact OWL.

Lily felt a burning in the back of her eyes at once, this was her worst childhood memory. Far worse than anything Petunia had ever said to her as a child. Of all the things Snape would keep stored away, she could almost understand why he'd want to keep this one in particular away from Harry. Shame she would hope, for utterly humiliating her that day, though she was sure it was something far more related to his own status, just like always, considering the events having led up to that.

Harry watched his parents with wide eyed concern for this reaction, looking to the other two for some sort of explanation he could already feel he wasn't going to like, but they were avoiding his eye. This really had been just any other day to them, but for Lily, well this was still something she should have shared with Harry, what a way for the poor kid to find out.

Remus waited until Lily snapped at him to keep going before he could do this to her, though it hardly felt better with permission.

The call for five more minutes echoed around, and Harry saw Professor Flitwick up front, passing by a boy with untidy black hair, that stuck up in the back.

James sighed, not exactly thrilled he'd gotten his wish. He hadn't nearly paid Snape back in kind for what he'd called the love of his life that day, still, he hoped Harry at least enjoyed his attempts.

Harry moved so fast that had he been tangible, he would have sent desks flying as he moved to see his father at fifteen. It was like looking at himself with deliberate mistakes.

"That is a very good description for the pair," Remus muttered mostly to himself.

His eyes were hazel, his nose slightly longer and with no scar, but the thin face, and untidy black hair were all Harry's, they'd even be the same height.

"You weren't wearing your glasses," Harry noted, grinning wildly at finally having such a vivid memory of his dad at such a young age. He clung to that feeling as long as he could, there was definitely something off about this promising it wouldn't last.

"They're only reading glasses, I only use them for long periods, or something important," James shrugged. "The exams weren't long enough I bothered."

James yawned and looked right through Harry to grin at a boy a few seats back, and Harry felt another thrill upon spotting Sirius return the grin. He was leaning back in his seat, tilting it back on two legs and very aware of how good-looking he was.

Sirius snorted mirthlessly and gave James a very superior smirk, telling without a hint of remorse, "I knew I loved your kid. He only called you a thin, messy git. At least he acknowledges who the handsome one is."

James gave him a very heavy glare, even while fighting back a grin for his best friends endless teasing.

His dark hair was swept with an elegance James nor Harry could ever achieve, and he was completely ignoring a girl who was eyeing him as well.

Sirius' grin only widened, turning outright flippant, and Harry was quite sure he was going to be given an account of this girl and all sorts of details he never would have asked for, but Remus had not paused long enough to be of help, to Harry's relief.

Two seats away and another row back, Harry spotted Remus, looking peaky, and he wondered if a full moon was near.

"It was that Monday, actually," Remus mumbled.

Harry blinked in surprise. Not only did it wrench at him for Remus to know so explicitly when each was, meaning they must all stand out very clearly in his mind and that only emphasized how painful each must be, but even after a few days rest Remus was only just starting to look healthier. In the days leading up he'd grown quite pale and exhausted at all hours, he couldn't imagine having to study on top of all that.

Harry concluded that must also mean Wormtail was around here somewhere.

Remus flinched hard at the reminder, not even needing to glance up and see the others as well. Harry had never actually known him as more than the traitor, but it was still impossible for them to think back on nearly any memory from their time here without finding him as well. Now they were being force fed one! Snape's memory had just turned into the worst thing for all of them.

Sure enough Harry found the mousy-haired boy with a pointed nose biting at his nails as he scratched at his paper.

Sirius' features were twisted violently, he still felt that need pulsing through him at every small reminder of him to go and rip his head off. The forcible act of not being able to respond to this made him feel like he was on fire just sitting here instead. He'd learned his lesson, he'd just have to be patient...

He turned his attention back to James and saw he was doodling now, having already drawn a Snitch, and now working in detail on the letters L. E. He wondered what that stood for.

Lily fidgeted with a few strands of hair in unease while eyeing James, who wasn't even blushing at the reminder. The unease came from that very sharp hurt her son hadn't known her maiden name, or at least, hadn't put together what it would mean. Instead she sighed heavily and flippantly told him, "I suppose it's better than L. P."

James offered her a wide grin for the tone, wanting to hold her even closer than he was for her still taking shots at him rather than dwelling on this particular memory from her past.

Finally time was up, Flitwick summoned all of the exams to him, and James took to his feet and stuffed the paper and quill away into his bag,

"It literally just said Flitwick summoned all the papers to him," Harry scratched at his head in confusion.

"You mark your final answers on the exam," Sirius explained, "Prongs was still messing with his scratch paper."

"Couldn't students still know what to expect on the exam then?" Harry asked in surprise.

"Nope, the exam changes every year," Remus sighed.

which he slung over his back, and stood waiting for Sirius to join him.

"I always had to walk over to his arse," Sirius said with an exaggerated eye roll. "If I wasn't the one to meet him, he'd pop me on the head for making him walk."

"Hark, look who's getting memory problems of his own," James tisked. "If I walked up to you, you'd groan about me making you wait around, at least if I waited long enough you'd get bored and come to me."

"They are actually arguing about who walked over to whom the most," Remus informed the other two like they'd miss this.

"I'm aware," Lily shook her head in exasperation, "I'm waiting for you to cut them off already."

Remus hadn't just because he enjoyed watching them pick at each other so much, especially with memory of the one who was missing hovering right there in front of them, but he supposed he couldn't ignore it forever and instead kept going in hopes Harry would blot him from sight.

Harry spotted Snape leaving the Entrance Hall, oblivious to his surroundings and still studying his own paper, even his walk reminded him of a twitchy spider.

James snorted enthusiastically Harry so easily caught onto one of their favorite jokes of referring to him as a bug in every way.

A gang of chattering girls separated Snape from James, Sirius and Lupin, and by planting himself in their midst,

Remus twitched again in agitation, though it was slightly less so than moments before. He supposed that being referred to by his last name was still better than not having been mentioned at all like the other one, though he still had to remind himself it was his own fault Harry hadn't a reason to call him anything else.

and by planting himself in the middle he was able to keep in sight those he wanted to see and still be in Snape's company.

By ignoring those around him, he could still hear Sirius happily asking Moony if he'd enjoyed question ten.

Lupin agreed he'd loved it, name the ten signs that mark a werewolf. One, he's sitting in this chair, two, he's wearing clothes, three, check the name at the heading.

Lily felt a surprised giggle crack out of her before she could stop it.

"Ha!" Sirius barked in triumph. "See Prongs, told you you should have let Moony try some humor around her, she clearly doesn't partake to yours."

"And have the love of my life swoon over his brilliance," James insisted on looking mock affronted while he played along. "I'd rather kill them both."

"It's a wonder I didn't fall into your arms sooner," she told him drolly.

Wormtail was the only one who didn't laugh, instead groaning that he'd only gotten three, but he couldn't remember the last two.

James was aghast, considering he ran around with one once a month.

All five of them were turning an ugly gray color for having to see this, to relive it and be forced to once again come to terms with how close they all were, saying anything and everything to each other as they'd always done, when did that change for him?

Lupin implored him to keep his voice down as they headed outside to the lake, and Harry was worried that if Snape broke off, he'd have no choice but to follow.

"True," James tried in vain to keep the strain from his voice, failing miserably. "You'd be dragged along." His voice cracked at the end, he couldn't pretend to keep going, and was starting to more than pity Remus at having to be forced to read all this.

Clearly Harry was as well, whispering, "did you want me to-"

"No," he snapped without looking up. "May as well get on with it, not like he's actually doing anything." Except ruining more memories from his past, his biting innards were now constantly reminding, but they were all feeling the same way, it would help nothing for Harry to do this instead.

Sirius kept things going by stating that had been a piece of cake to him, he'd gotten at least an Outstanding.

"And did you?" Harry couldn't help but ask, infusing as much mirth into his voice as was possible.

Sirius watched Harry for a long moment with a set look in place that was all the answer he needed before he finally admitted, "no, got an E."

"We did though," James tipped his head towards Remus with a purposeful grin that didn't completely hide the hard set in his eyes. "Gave him hell for it."

"He probably missed one too many questions about harpies, getting them confused with himself and all," Remus told solemnly, at least this was one thing that rat could never take away, and they'd always find more ways to pick at each other.

"At least I got an O on my Transfiguration that someone got an A on." Sirius returned flatly, but there was finally a real grin coming back as well.

"You cheated," Remus insisted. "The lot," very heavy wince, "both of you," he quickly corrected. "Bloody extra practice and all, too many years ahead."

"You're just jealous you got O's in two classes to my three," Sirius insisted.

"Padfoot the only thing I'm jealous at you about is your never ending idiocy. How do you continue to make a fool of yourself?" Remus pleasantly returned.

James had only just opened his mouth to butt in as well when Lily cut in above them all with a relieved smile on her face. "Honestly, the lot of you, you're still arguing about this how many years later? You're all idiots, no matter what those grades said."

"There's my wife, keeping us all in perspective with her- how many OWLs did you get?" He suddenly broke off by asking her, she'd never answered him in school and it hadn't come up in recent times.

"I'm not telling," she insisted with a grin, "because it is pointless now." She honestly admired all of them, for still finding ways to make each other laugh with the rat being so vividly present now more than ever, but they couldn't ignore this forever. Remus paused and had to swallow hard before going back, when all he really wanted to do was snap this shut, he didn't want to reminisce about what came next any more than the couple.

James agreed himself as well as he pulled out a Snitch, almost casually letting it go before seizing it again with excellent reflexes.

James managed quite a pleased smile he'd impressed his son with his fun.

Wormtail watched him in awe.

Which vanished instantly, his face flushing red, though he was still so pale he looked more pink and still likely to start screaming if he had to keep remembering how much he'd enjoyed his friend indulging his every whim.

Much to Harry's relief, Snape folded himself into a nearby bush, while the group of four took up shade near a beach tree. By staying with the group of girls who were in the middle and now dipping bare feet into water, he could still be in between both.

Lily was brushing at her hair with vigor now, her nails catching on a few strands. This memory had replayed so many times so vividly in her head she didn't need Harry's descriptions, and vainly hoped that for once, this time would be different, that her son wouldn't even recognize her because nothing special had happened that day...

Lupin had pulled out a book and was reading.

"Don't even start Sirius," Remus told him without looking up. "It's my misfortune of the universe repeating these circumstances."

"But it's hilarious," Sirius insisted like Moony was missing on the joke of a lifetime.

"No, it's not," Remus rolled his eyes behind the pages and kept going loudly.

Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored, but very handsomely so.

Sirius flipped his hair over his shoulder and preened, Harry fighting the urge more every moment to tell his godfather to cool it. Normally his bravado was endearing, and hilarious, though that part was probably unintentional. He couldn't even really find anything wrong with this scene that should bother him, aside from Wormtail they seemed to be acting casually enough, why was the idea of being in here weighing so heavily on him he wanted to snap at all of them?

James was still playing with the Snitch, letting it zoom further and further away, almost escaping but always grabbed at the last second.

Harry remembered his mum and dad mentioning that earlier, and now realized why he would have seen this. He supposed he could see his mums point in him showing off a bit, but it's not as if he had an audience watching like the twins so often did, he was just entertaining himself.

Wormtail was watching with an open mouth, often cheering and applauding at the more wild catches. After nearly five minutes of this, Harry wondered why James didn't tell him to get a grip.

Underneath the visage from being so bluntly reminded of his many fond memories of this, some shock creeped through, as that had never even occurred to him. Why would it? He'd loved impressing everyone, especially his own friends. Tainted as it was now, he was left questioning all of this for the first time. Was Peter faking it? Was he actually envious? He still hadn't gotten his answer of why someone he cared so much for would do to him in their future.

James was clearly enjoying the attention though, occasionally ruffling his hair,

Harry had noticed his dad doing that quite a lot, and he almost smiled just a bit that no matter the torment his friend's reminder did to him, at least some parts of him had stayed the same.

and glancing to the girls at the water's edge as if hoping they were watching.

Finally though, Sirius seemed to grow bored of this and told James to put that up.

James did, and Harry had the distinct feeling Sirius was the only one he'd do this for.

"This is true," Remus tisked loudly over his own beating heart pounding through his head, despising the reminder of this hurting them all so much, and Harry may not even understand why yet. It was clear from his expression something of this day was bothering them all, but while he could wrap his head around it was the not so simple thing of vividly remembering Wormtail back in their lives so casually for the Marauders, he was yet sure what had his mother so near to tears.

He forced himself to keep going loudly with his first train of thought, even in the awkward silence. "Whenever I tried, he just told me to shut up, because he was doing it for me."

"Honestly, the only reason I told him to stop was because I was fixing to suggest we go take a swim in the lake, otherwise I would have joined him," Sirius shrugged, ignoring how forced the casual movement was.

Sirius instead said he was bored, wishing it was a full moon.

Lupin said from behind his book he would, but if he really wanted something to do, he could quiz him on some Transfiguration, even offering it out to him.

"Did you actually think that would work?" Lily arched a brow at him.

"I didn't want to go swimming, as I knew full well he was fixing to say," Remus shrugged. "I was delaying for a moment so I could claim to go back inside and work in peace."

Sirius simply snorted, saying he didn't need to look at that, he knew it all.

"That is also true," Remus muttered with an eye roll Harry must have missed at the time.

James got his attention by finding something else to liven up Padfoot, and Sirius turned like a dog that had scented a rabbit.

"Your descriptions are as accurate as ever," James told Harry with a straight face, but Sirius merely winced instead of the laugh he really felt. The two weren't exactly proud they'd started this fight between Evans and Snivellus. Sirius watched Lily tentatively, a need to defend himself this was common place, he hadn't known he'd resort to calling her that when this exact set up had happened countless times in their past already without such a thing happening, but the words died before they could start. An apology would probably just make her angrier, but now at him.

He softly said in excitement Snivellus, and Harry looked to where Snape was standing back up, James and Sirius now with him.

Lily groaned miserably as she kept eyes on her infant. James and Sirius exchanged a look, but as one decided to risk it and said, "sorry Lily."

"Don't bother," she snapped, clearly Sirius' prediction had been right. "You don't mean it."

"I am sorry," James insisted. "I never would have thought he'd-"

"You're sorry for what he did," Lily corrected harshly, "not for what you did, so save it."

James closed his mouth without bothering to agree, and Harry's bad feeling was growing worse than ever. This wasn't really...

Lupin and Wormtail remained where they were, Lupin keeping eyes on his book though his eyes were not following words. Wormtail was watching with a look of anticipation.

Remus' face folded as he easily recalled that look. He'd used to love seeing all the spells they learned in class in action on others. He hated how much it hurt to remember even the tiniest details about him. Thankfully Sirius and James were now plenty distracted by Lily they seemed more apt to ignoring this, but since Remus had kept himself out of this one, it was a bit harder for him to continue ignoring the rats every motion.

James repeated the nickname loudly after him, and Snape reacted so fast it was as if he'd been expecting the attack.

"He was, considering-" Sirius began with a sneer, now itching for a rematch just to let off some pent up frustration all of this was dragging up, which he sadly wasn't going to find in here. He only stopped as Lily glared at him with an old familiar look he hadn't seen in awhile, and that wasn't helping to clear his mind of this.

He dropped his bag and went for his wand, but before it had even cleared his pocket, James had shot Expelliarmus at him.

Snape's wand shot twelve feet away, Sirius letting out a bark of laughter before shouting Impedimenta, and Snape fell to the ground still feet away from his wand.

All three of them were so distracted, tense and waiting for a blow they never would have wished upon Lily, they all missed the look growing on Harry's face at recalling this scene.

The students around looked up curiously, some even eagerly as James and Sirius sauntered forward.

James began taunting how his exam had gone?

Sirius answered for him he'd seen his nose pressed to the parchment, it would be so grease marked no one could even read the answers.

Several people laughed, Snape was clearly unpopular.

"Least you've gathered the important details already," Sirius told Harry absently, glancing at him for a moment rather than watching Lily, and blinking in surprise Harry hadn't laughed along like he always had when they'd taken shots at Snape in here. Sirius wasn't actually sure what that face was, but he now frowned more heavily than ever for what Harry was thinking without sharing.

Wormtail sniggered shrilly.

Remus made a guttural noise of agitation, wishing Harry would quit noting such things already. They were all well aware if it wasn't Sirius and James starting the fight it was him egging them all on, but Harry reminding them of that only made this all far worse than they would have thought.

The boy on the ground snapped at them to just wait until he got his wand ba-, but Sirius didn't give him a chance, finishing for him to wait for what, him to wipe his nose?

Snape began saying curses and hexes intermittently, but still nothing happened from his wand still ten feet away.

James decided he didn't like his language and used Scourgify on him, causing bubbles to come out of Snape's mouth.

A new voice shouted to leave him alone!

"That actually took two curses longer than usual," James insisted on pushing for a casual tone of voice when addressing Lily. "Exactly how long had you been on the fence about him before this happened?"

Lily pursed her lips, not particularly wanting to answer him, and then she glanced at Harry and saw the look on his face. The expression surprised her, but she supposed he'd put together what this day was for her, but if he clearly had no care for the answer than she wouldn't indulge James' curiosity on this.

When her silence persisted, Remus kept going anyways. James had been well aware, as often as he'd mentioned it, that Lily had been seen out of company of Snape more often than not their last few months of fifth year, so he didn't know what his mate was trying to accomplish by asking such things, but he would try to save him from the answer anyways.

James and Sirius looked around at a girl with dark red hair and green eyes, Harry's mother.

James eagerly at once called out to Evans, making his voice go deeper, more mature.

Remus made some attempt at a laugh, speaking absently, "more idiotic than anything," but he didn't even pause for James to defend himself even if he would have.

Lily repeated for them to leave him alone, looking at James with great dislike.

Sirius was looking for it now, and watched another line cross Harry's face, his eyes growing as tight as his mothers for all of this coming back to him. Sirius wanted to reassure him that as bad as it was for Lily to be remembering all of this, that part was the common place, but he didn't want to interrupt right now in hopes Remus was almost done already, or even better, the actual Snape would show up and stop this. Quite an odd want, but it was killing him to watch this eat away at Lily, and he'd never have wanted Harry to see this in person, it was bad enough being told what the creep had once done to his mother.

She demanded what Snape had done to him?

"This time, you really should have emphasized that point," James told her, though she continued ignoring him in hopes he'd take the hint this wasn't helping. She pulled out of his arms and laid against the armrest instead, the baby still cradled tight in her arms her only comfort right now.

James looked hurt, he'd only been trying to help, but for now he crossed his arms and gave her her space.

James pretended to deliberate before deciding it was more the fact he existed.

James still found that to be true, that Snape had grown up knowing Lily and never seemed to value that enough but instead spent far more time in the company of pre Death Eaters, that his mere existence felt like a blocker to what James wanted more than anything, to be close to her, but there was always that sniveling used napkin in the way that Lily kept defending.

Harry made some kind of noise, but James was too distracted watching Lily to process it. He supposed Harry would have been plenty confused about all this in his time though.

Many of the surrounding students laughed, Sirius and Wormtail included, but Lupin, still apparently intent on his book, didn't, and nor did Lily.

Remus glanced up curiously, he'd felt Harry turn sharply to him and watched for a moment in confusion as Harry scrutinized him, but was he really looking at him like that because he hadn't laughed at the joke? Harry didn't offer anything though, and Remus went back to reading feeling as heavy as ever this couldn't just be done with. He almost would have preferred Harry to interrupt, it probably would have been a better distraction than forcing out this mess.

She coldly informed him he was a bullying toe rag, and to leave him alone.

James said he would if she'd go out with him.

"Bad timing there mate," Sirius helpfully inserted what he'd been thinking at the time.

"Thank you for not sharing that at the time," James rolled his eyes, "wish you'd carried that on."

Lily said she wouldn't even if it was just between him and the giant squid.

"Would you look it there, I beat out that sea creature after all," James seemed to almost pleasantly inform her, and he saw almost a twitching smile come back to her.

Sirius commiserated to Prongs this was bad luck before shouting in surprise, but too late.

Snape had been fighting off the curse this whole time, and had finally reached his wand, shooting a spell at James that cut across his cheek and splattered his robes with blood.

James whirled on the spot, there was a flash of light, and then Snape was hanging upside down showing off gray underpants.

Lily, whose furious expression twitched into a smile for just a moment,

"Really? I didn't see that," James blinked in surprise, he hadn't thought he'd gotten a real smile out of Lily for at least another year. How many other times had he made her smile without getting the pleasure of seeing? More importantly, how long had Snape been acting an arse to her before this happened for her to be doing it so openly now?

No one answered, especially not Harry, who was still processing all this so slowly he felt like his head had filled with molasses. All he was sure of, was that he didn't feel like laughing along right now like his dad was clearly hoping someone was.

but instead shouted at Potter to let him down.

James did so with a careless wave of his wand, but the moment he was back in the grass, Sirius shot Petrificus Totalus at him, and Snape fell back to the ground stiff as a bored.

"Payback complete, now where's a broomshed," Sirius muttered for himself.

Lily shrieked at them to leave him alone, drawing her own wand. The two looked at it warily.

"The first proper response of their day," Remus agreed absently.

James told Evans not to make him hex her.

"That would be a duel to see," Sirius hummed, though thankfully it had never gone that far, and at least now it never would. Lily mostly just shouted at them, and that was more than enough to stop Prongs, which in turn was just enough to stop the rest of them.

She snapped for the curse to be lifted then, and James did so with a deep sigh first before telling Snivellus he was lucky Evans was here-

Remus wanted to stop. He dreaded the next words to come pouring out of his mouth, because usually, the fight stopped there. Lily came forward and her and Snape walked off. This time though, he had to take a very deep breath before finishing.

Snape shouted back he didn't need help from a Mudblood!

Remus frowned hatefully, never in his life having wanted to say that word, and detesting he truly just had in regards to one of his friends.

Harry gasped, as it finally snapped together for him. She'd told him she'd stopped being friends with Snape because he'd called her that in public one day, screamed it at her in the middle of a courtyard, were her exact words...but he hadn't realized it had been this exact day! He looked desperately to her, but she wouldn't look at him, wouldn't look at any of them.

James was aching to put his arms back around her, to promise she wasn't alone, but she didn't want his comfort right now. She didn't blame him for this anymore, as she had for the rest of that year. Things had changed over the summer, she'd changed when she finally realized her relationship with him was irreparable like this day had proven.

Lily blinked once, before telling Snivellus to wash out his mouth.

James roared at Snape to apologize, but Lily shouted just as loudly she didn't want to make him apologize, he was just as bad!

James looked truly offended, saying he'd never call her such a thing.

Lily snarled that didn't excuse his strutting around corridors, always cursing people who annoyed him. She made him sick!

Then she stormed off.

James tried calling after her, but when she didn't respond, he demanded of Sirius still next to him what was with her, his tone trying to say the answer was of no real importance, and failing.

James didn't bother to deny this, even as Sirius politely told him, "you failed at that every time by the way."

Sirius offered that reading between the lines, he'd guess she found him conceited.

"Exactly how big were those lines?" Remus asked of him.

Sirius made his eyes go big with confusion, and so Remus just rolled his own.

James looked more furious than ever as he turned back to Snivelly, asking of the watchers who wanted to see him take off his pants?

Harry never found out if James had.

"Nah," James huffed, "Hagrid showed up then. Though I might have if he really hadn't apologized, I was still wanting one even without her around," he said in no uncertain terms.

Far from looking reassured, Harry's expression only darkened, much to all of the boys confusion, and Lily was still keeping eyes only for her infant and wasn't watching any of them.

A hand closed around his arm like a vice, and glancing up, Harry saw the adult Snape.

"Uroh," Sirius hummed. This must be why Harry was looking so off, no one would be happy being caught doing this.

Harry was dragged back, feeling as if he did a flip before finding himself in the dungeons again, Snape still holding fast to his arm. It was scary, his lips were shaking, his face was white, his teeth were bared.

Lily did look up sharply at that, anger now the most dominant thing rather than the hurt of her youth. Yes Harry was in the wrong, but if he hurt her boy, Snape was going to wish she'd killed him that day instead of simply dropping him from her life.

Snape hissed what an amusing man his father had been, shaking Harry so hard his glasses slipped from his nose, before he was released, and shoved so hard he hit the stone floor.

James and Sirius snarled in outrage, all eyes flashing furiously for Harry being treated like this. All of them were trying to reach for their wand now, growing more worried by the second Snape was fixing to turn on Harry with worse than the curse that had left a scar on James that day.

Harry though could hardly react, this moment of seeing Snape trying to remind him of something he just couldn't concentrate on right now, still far too wrapped in an all to living realization.

The shout of get out, and never to come back echoed behind him as Harry got to his feet and ran, a glass of cockroaches exploding above his head on the way out. He didn't stop running until he was three floors ahead, slumping down into an empty plinth as he rubbed at his bruised arm.

All four of them made a noise of outrage Snape had really hurt him. He'd deserved a detention certainly, they wouldn't have even argued if Snape had done a number of things like emptying house points or weeks of detentions, but actually harming him was far past crossing the line. The oddest part was, Harry wasn't even rubbing at his arm now, for all the world his face showed he couldn't care less, and it was depressing the lot of them to see him go so silent with no idea why.

Harry didn't know where to go. He didn't want to go back to the tower and tell his friends, and it wasn't because Snape had thrown a jar at him.

"I thought you or him exploded that by accident, he actually threw that at you!" Sirius barked in outrage.

Harry had no reaction, he wouldn't look at any of them.

It was that he knew how it felt to be humiliated in the middle of a circle of onlookers, knew exactly how Snape had felt as his father had taunted him,

Remus' brows shot up in surprise as they were finally getting an idea of why Harry hadn't spoken a word during that whole exchange, and that's the part he'd focused on? He finished curiously,

and that judging from what he had just seen, his father had been every bit as arrogant as Snape had always told him.

and hadn't been expecting that.

HPHPHPHP

  *Nicknames offered by Xovercrazy and MelodyGirl239 in that order

**I think I'm allowed some direct quotes from the books, and these are just too magnificent to pass up.

[ahsoka-lives]

Off Moon

Iris pt. 4 of my Inquisitor!Cal x Reader fic

Warnings: Cal is kind of a *ss in this, thigh riding, foreplay.

A/N: This is a big one in terms of the plot of the fic. I had a lot of fun writing it and I hope you all enjoy it!! I don’t think it’s my best but I still enjoyed the process. Please feel free to leave feedback because I absolutely love hearing from you guys!! Gif is by @water-aesthetics​

Word Count: 3689

The waves of Iris crashed into the shores. The tranquil sound floated into the cracked window of the room. The glow of the lamp beside the bed filled the space with a soft yellow hue. Never have you felt such serenity, such peace. But there was something strange and unfamiliar about this place. Where were you? Why were you here?

“You’re here because I wanted you here.” Cal’s deep voice spoke into your ear bringing a gasp from your throat. His arms snaked around your waist and held you to his chest. “I can feel it. Your place is with me, no where else.”

“I can’t be with you all the time, Cal.” You try to move against his hold but it only tightens.

“This isn’t up for discussion.” He chided and pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Pack a bag, I have work off moon and you’re coming. I’ll be at your apartment shortly, be ready.”

-

“Y/n, wake up, y/n” BD was nudging your shoulder with one of his hands as he tried to wake you. “You were talking in your sleep. Please stop, it is very annoying.”

Your droid turned and left your room, leaving you to stare at your ceiling wondering how you had a dream so vivid. It was like a memory more than a dream and you couldn’t decide if it was what you wished for or what you feared.

Sighing, you decide to take a shower and wash the feeling off of your skin. You strip and let the cool droplets of water fall over you. It soothes your tightly wound nerves and resets your mind. Knowing you had to be at work soon, you finish and quickly get dressed. 

You combed through your hair before pausing over the sink. You could hear the same idyllic sound of waves from your dream, the familiarity startles you and you suddenly feel like someone was watching you. All of your motions come to a halt, your shoulders tense, and chills cover your body.

“I thought I told you to be ready, little girl.” A distorted voice scolded you. Your eyes shoot up to the mirror and behind you stands a tall Inquisitor who was dressed to kill. A black helmet shielded his entire skull, armor covered his upper torso with a white imperial branding pressed to his shoulders, black combat boots look worn down, and a saber hung from his waist.

Within seconds of his words you scream out in fear and stagger away from the man who had stepped in from the doorway and reached out to you with a menacing arm.

“Gods, calm down, y/n. It’s me! It’s Cal!” The raspy modulated voice from behind the mask rushed out as he removed it. “I forgot I had this thing on, I’m sorry.” 

You were pressed to the far wall of the bathroom panting heavily from the idea of being brutally cut in half with a lightsaber. Thankfully, the fear subsided quickly as you were distracted by Cal’s appearance. 

He looked kinda hot in the gear, something you hadn’t noticed when you saw him from the bridge days ago. The pants fit him well making his legs appear longer and the armor across his chest accentuated his broad stature. His eyes were his normal green and they contrasted well to the darkness of his attire. 

“Wha-what are you doing here?” You ask as you begin to regain composure. His now exposed face allowed you to see his confusion at your question.

“I already told you. I have a mission off moon and you will be coming with me, we’re lucky I came to get you early or this would have made us late. Come, I will help you pack.” He explained nonchalantly before leaving you in the bathroom. 

Your mind reeled at how fast all of this was happening. He never told you anything. Well, not to your face.

“That was real? How did you get in my head?” Now you were the one with a commanding voice. You couldn’t believe someone could be so bold.

He chuckled before turning on his heel to face you. He looked you up and down dropping his helmet onto your bed.

“It was very real, y/n. There are many things you don’t know about my abilities but now is not the time to talk about these things. Please collect your temper and pack, I won’t be happy if we’re late because you decided to have an attitude with me.” His voice was smooth outside of the mask but equally intimidating. His eyes hadn’t left you and the two of you seem to be locked in a staring match. 

“I- I can’t just leave. I have work, I have BD-5, I-” You were cut off by Cal groaning like a frustrated teenager who just wasn’t getting his way.

“BD-5, come in here please.” He called, eyes still locked onto you.

Your droid came in seconds later.

“Sir, what can I help with?”

”Please pack a travel bag for y/n, quickly. We’ll be having a word in the other room.” Cal took your hand, swiftly carrying the two of you to your living room. 

He led you in front of him and released your hand. Once again, you had no idea what his next move was and you stood there on high alert waiting for what was to come. 

“You will be joining me. I had you relieved of your position-” 

“You what?” Your jaw was on the floor. “Give me one good reason why I should listen to you!?” You shout in disbelief. You swore that you were ready to take him on in a fight right then and there. “Do you really think you can talk to me like a child and make decisions on my behalf just because l think you’re slightly attractive?”

“No, I think I can talk to you how I choose and make decisions on your behalf because I outrank you. You couldn’t stop me if you tried, physically or structurally. Now, stop interrupting me before I take fixing your attitude into my own hands.” He paused and leaned closer to your face, so close you could faintly feel his breath as he spoke.

 “You’ve been assigned to me, you will work as my personal technician on my ships and my tech. Your salary has increased considerably and now you won’t spend every waking moment on this rock.” His voice was sweet now, but it felt taunting. “And don’t forget, my flower, I’ve seen the way you think of me. ‘Slightly' is a rude understatement.” 

You were stuck between seething with rage and being mildly grateful. It was a major improvement but he was being an audacious prick.

“Fine.” You say through your teeth and look away from him.

“We leave for Kashyyyk in 15. My ship is where you last saw it” He straightened his posture and pulled gloves onto his hands. “I’m going to head down. I’ll see you shortly.” His words were a threat, your last chance to test his patience.

His hand stretched out to summon his helmet before pulling it over his head, the last piece of his intimidating ensemble.

-

Cal was kneeling on the ground talking to BD-1 through his mask when you got to the platform. He hoisted his companion into his separate compartment on the lower part of the ship and turned to greet you. You suddenly felt shy again, his presence was powerful and you wanted to cower away. 

“Your bag.” He reached his hand out to take it from you storing it next to his. 

You looked to admire the tie fighter. It was state of the art weaponry, built to be the ideal single pilot ship. Single Pilot. How hadn’t you realized earlier? The cockpit of these ships had one seat and it was fairly cramped. Your face twisted in disbelief and Cal seemed to have taken notice. 

“Don’t start with me, flower.” He sounded playful now and you decided it was best not to start. Besides, what were your other options?

He rose to his feet, pulling the ladder to the cockpit down and making his way into the ship. As you reached the top of the ladder your heart started doing flips in your chest. His gloved hands helped you down onto his lap in the pilots chair. 

“Comfortable?” His distorted voice asked as he released your hips and snaked his arms out to begin fiddling with the controls. 

You simply nod to avoid the stutter or cracking of your voice, not wanting him to know how nervous he made you. 

“Nothing to say now, y/n?” He mused, now using one arm to hold you in place against his chest. He pushed a few more buttons and pushed the central lever forward. The ship was lifting off the ground now. He skillfully steered the ship away from the facility with his free hand and before you knew it the buildings were miniature specks below. 

“Alright, BD-1, take over.” He instructed releasing his hold on the steering. Both of his gloved hands moved to his helmet and revealed his face once again. “Once we reach minimum safe distance from the imperial fleet up here we will jump to hyperspace so, be prepared.” He muttered close to your ear making your breath shallow. 

You acknowledge his words with a nod and relax slightly into his lap. He was radiating warmth and his arms snaked around your waist. “Still mad, flower?” His voice hummed, vibrations coming off of his chest weakened you further. 

“I-I’m fine.” Your mouth was dry, you were struggling to keep composure and he wasn’t helping. 

He suddenly gripped your hips and hoisted you around to straddle his waist. The movement almost made you dizzy and you felt yourself get annoyed at how much he’d man-handled you today. He's lucky he’s cute. 

You were face to face with Cal. You took a moment to take in his appearance, his hair was somehow still neatly pushed back despite time in the helmet and it looked as soft as ever. As your eyes rake over his face you notice a look of concern covering his features.

"Your heart is pounding, are you a nervous flyer?” His hands were still gripping your hips tightly and your top had ridden up slightly allowing him to feel your bare skin. 

You falter at his words and look away. Trying desperately to relax and ignore the feeling of arousal that came from your current position. You were flustered, pressed tightly against him feeling his thumbs trace circles on your hips. The memory of him kissing your neck was fresh in your mind and right now you all you wanted was to feel that again. But you were still so agitated with him, you weren’t used to someone being so brazen. 

A gentle hand grips your chin bringing your eyes back to meet his. He’s watching you intently, eyes flickering to your lips.

“If you don’t tell me, I’ll just look for myself.” He muttered, watching your face intently

“I just haven’t flown in so long.” You shrug and try to keep a straight face. You were beyond comfortable flying, you even had a pilots license. 

“You’re a terrible liar.” He chuckled, his smile making your stomach flutter. “I can see you don’t like being told what to do.” 

“No, I don’t. I’m not some prisoner for you to shove around, Cal.” Your face was scrunched in anger. You hated having this conversation while in such a compromising position. 

“First of all, I don’t take prisoners.” His voice was dripping with confidence.          “Secondly, prisoners don’t have the luxury of traveling throughout the galaxy with round the clock protection and someone around to meet their every need.” 

“What if I told you I don’t need to be taken care of?” You were being persistent with your defiance, making him wonder what it would take for you to just give in.

“I think you’ll find that you enjoy being put first by someone that can provide for you.” He was taking his time with his words, letting each of them flow through you. “Regardless of how you feel, I feel a pull toward you and I’m trained to never ignore my instincts so I won’t. It’s not only a want, but a need. It’s up to you to cooperate or continue to test me. 

A light on the control panel began blinking in front of him. It meant that BD-1 has activated the hyperdrive and there was less than thirty seconds before the ship would jolt forward and undoubtedly startle you. 

“I’d say we have 15 seconds till we blip out of here. Please tell me you’re not actually a nervous flyer.” He hurried his words and secured a hand behind your back. 

“Well...” 

Whooosh

The ship lurched forward and you pressed further into Cal. His grip on you was tight as you buried your face in his neck. A few moments later the ship had  begun to travel steadily and you feel your muscles revert back to normal. You put some distance between the two of you be leaning slightly against the control panel.

“...I’d feel much safer if I was in a chair of my own.” You finish your statement. 

“Where’s the fun in that?” 

“We have a couple hours of flying and we will be physically stuck together for it’s entirety. You call that fun?” 

“Yes. That’s exactly what I call fun. It gives me plenty of time to handle your attitude before we reach our destination. I can’t have my troopers hearing the way you talk to me.” His eyes darkened as he spoke. His words were electrifying and you were starting to crave more of him. 

You watched as he removed the gloves from his hands and placed them beside the seat. His now bare hands gripped your hips and pulled you forward onto his lap, the friction of his leg against your core making a wave of pleasure ripple through you.  

His movements cease and he tilts his head in mock confusion. Your breath caught in your throat as you remembered his irritating habit of reading your energy signature. 

“That felt good, didn’t it, flower?” 

Now you wanted to scream, a recurring theme when you were with Cal. His warmth was washing over you and you could smell the musk of his cologne and the mint of his breath as he spoke tantalizing words to you. You were all but trembling in his lap, the small fantasies you’ve had about him that floated through your mind seemed dull in comparison to what was happening. Your brain felt fuzzy from the overwhelming feeling of desire, but you had no intention of giving him the satisfaction he so clearly wanted.

“Your silence doesn’t help you, y/n.” His voice was stern. One hand moved to cup the back of your neck, the other remained holding you steady. He gently moved his lips to ghost over yours, testing your restraint. 

A light and soft kiss pressed to your lips. It felt like a wave of relief crashed into you as he continued to move his lips against yours. His tongue was gentle as it licked your bottom lip just before his teeth grazed over it. You were in shock at how well he knew your mouth. The hand resting behind your head had begun to fan out, his touch was firm but careful. 

He separated his lips from yours with a soft groan and looked into your eyes, his hand still in place. 

“Do you want to learn something new about me? About what I can do?” His question rang in your ears and all you could bring yourself to do was nod. 

“Atta girl.” He muttered before looking down and blinking several times. When his eyes returned to yours they were tinted a familiar yellow. “I can usually feel a persons most significant emotion radiating from its source, right here.” He taps the base of your skull with two fingers. “Right now, you’re giving off a mess of emotions and it’s clouding my focus. But I know how to get a clear view and once I do, I can help you with your mess.”

“H-how?” You were feeling desperate and all too close to giving in. 

“You just have to trust me, my flower.” He pressed another gentle kiss to your lips. “Do you want me to help you?” He cooed. 

“Y-yes, please Cal.” You whimpered. He hummed lightly as his lips ghosted over the side of your neck and you closed your eyes trying to relax your overwhelmed senses.

“All you have to do is let me into that pretty little head of yours.” He muttered as his fingertips pressed down onto the base of your skull and before you realized what he meant, he succeeded. It felt like a gust of cool air seeped under your skin as he entered your mind again. Only this time he wasn’t after a memory, this time he just wanted to know exactly what you were feeling as you trembled in his lap. 

“Gods, y/n, why didn’t you tell me?” He groaned feeling each of your feelings of frustration and arousal pile into his brain. He felt how your body hummed at the way he was gripping your hips just moments before and how close you were to bubbling over. 

You only whimper quietly in response, your eyes remained shut and somehow you didn’t mind this intrusion. His fingers faltered for a moment before dropping and the cool air left with his touch. Your eyes fluttered open to meet his, they were now golden and shining as they stared back at you. His expression was soft as he guided your hands to rest on his shoulders before he moved his hands to your hips once again. 

“Can I please help you, flower?” He pleaded with sincerity. He may have been controlling and damn near autocratic but this was one thing he didn’t want to just take. 

You carried your hand up to his face and cupped his cheek. His skin was soft and delicate, freckles were sparsely spread across his cheeks that were flushed a light pink. Your eyes fluttered shut once and you kissed him again, muttering ‘Please’ when your lips briefly separated from his. 

He was enjoying the delicate state you were in on top of him and it made it hard for him to focus. For a moment he cursed how small the ship was, it limited his options on what to do to you, for you. 

He delicately tugged on the hem of your shirt before pulling it over your head. The cockpit was frigid and you were sure that without the warmth coming off of your Inquisitor, you’d be shivering in no time. He hands rubbed the small of your back as his eyes took in the view. They moved up to release the clasp on your bra and let it fall to the ground below. 

One hand held you firmly in place while the other massaged your breast. His tongue grazed over your other nipple and your hands reached for his hair. You moaned quietly and pulled on the strands of hair that you collected in your fist. His hand left your breast and returned to his position at your hips. He lifted you up to place one of his legs between yours. 

Had you not been so consumed by his teeth pulling lightly on your nipple, you would’ve questioned him. His fingertips were digging into hips, surely to leave bruises behind on you. His teeth sank into the tender flesh of your neck making your hips buck and a breathy sigh passed your lips from the friction of his thigh against your core. 

“That’s it, sweet girl, just like that.” His hands guided your hips against his thigh sending pleasure rippling through you. “Let me take care of you.” 

You were a whimpering mess on his lap as he carried you close to your orgasm. The tension forming in the base of your abdomen was tearing straight through any composure you held earlier. 

“Cal, p-please don’t stop.” You whined in his ear, your nails scratching his strong shoulders that you held onto with a sense of urgency. 

“Cum for me, flower.” His words came right beside your moans that echoed in the cockpit as you reached your high. You were blinded by the tension between your thighs being released as the man under you carried you through your orgasm. Whimpering his name you gripped the hair on the back of his head and laid your face onto his shoulder. 

As the feeling faded you relaxed further against him, feeling exhausted but at ease. His arm reached into the air and brought over a hooded sweatshirt from behind him. 

“Arms up.” His voice was gentle but the familiar tone of command was in his voice again. He pulled the sweatshirt over your head and you noticed that it was covered in the smell of his cologne. He tapped the outer side of your thigh and motioned for you to move. “Get comfortable, we still have an hour to go. You need to get some rest, I have work for you to do on Kashyyyk.” 

You sleepily nod and sit sideways across his lap, legs dangling over the side with your face in his neck. Your eyes flutter shut and you feel his arms wrap around you.

Cal was feeling content for the first time in a very long time. He felt you beginning to trust him and that was going to be important not only for your relationship but in your work position. He finally rested his head against yours and the two of you drift off with the comfort of the other soothing you to sleep. 

[aces-to-apples]

Written for Day 4: Time-Travel of Codywan Week 2020 @codywanweek

Here on AO3

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Category: M/M Relationship: CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi Additional Tags: no betas we die like man, time-travel, Dehumanization, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Awful Treatment of Clones, Discussions of Murder, Ambiguous/Open Ending

“philter of the phantom”

CC-2224 knew that this would be its last mission for the Empire.

It was still in prime physical condition, a well-crafted piece of hardware meant to last through decades of wear and tear before beginning to break down, but its user-interface was considered suboptimal. A relic from a bygone era.

Creepy, was the word most often used to describe CC-2224. Look at him. His eyes follow you and the lights are on but nobody's home. It's doshing creepy.

Decommissioning was unavoidable, inevitable, imminent.

Its only hope was that it would be allowed to serve the Empire until its end.

When it had been informed that it was to retrieve an object of great importance for the Emperor, at any cost, CC-2224 knew its time of decommissioning had come. The mission would be more dangerous than the briefing implied and CC-2224 would fall in service of the Galactic Empire, just as it desired. Everything would be done.

As predicted in the back of its programming, the mission was a cockup from the beginning. They—CC-2224, its team of useless whiteshells, and the Inquisitor leading the mission—were led into an ambush after retrieving the Emperor’s property.

The whiteshells went down quickly, to no surprise and a great deal of disgust from CC-2224. Its brothers (good soldiers follow orders) would have been a better choice for the mission, for the army, but had been passed over.

Clones were no longer respected as the greatest fighting force in the galaxy. Their numbers had been dwindling ever since Kamino was shut down.

They were a dying breed.

But, dying or not, CC-2224 wasn’t dead yet.

It secured the objective and left the Inquisitor to deal with the—Separatists? No, there were no more Separatists—enemy forces by themself. A Jedi would have had no trouble, but the Jedi were traitors to the Repub—to the Empire—and the Inquisitor had been trained by the Emperor himself.

They would live or die as the Force willed, and CC-2224 had its orders: secure the objective, at any cost.

With the shuttle in sight and the Inquisitor inadvertently keeping the heat off of CC-2224, it broke from its defensive position and retreated in full. The screams of the dead and dying blotted out all other sounds, only cutting out as CC-2224 tripped over the threshold of the shuttle and sealed the door.

It sucked in a breath and stumbled to the cockpit, setting a course for the nearest Imperial forces before collapsing back into the pilot’s seat. CC-2224 sat there for a moment, confused as to why it was not moving, not completing one of the many tasks aboard even such a small vessel, before the realization struck.

Cold.

Its body quaked ever so slightly, sight greying out more and more every second, and it felt unbearably cold. It looked down at itself.

In the crook of one elbow lay the Emperor’s prize—a crystalline, geometric object that pulsed with a low-grade sense of malevolence—but something was wrong. Where before it had worn pristine white plastoid, it was now a bright and shocking hue of scarlet. Blood—a lot of it.

CC-2224 examined itself with a detached sort of curiosity, feeling faraway and uninterested. A quick pat-down of its torso quickly revealed the culprit and brought with it a flood of pain. One of the Sepa—Reb—one of the enemies must have been carrying a slugthrower. Unusual, unaccounted for, unexpected, and all the more deadly.

It would bleed out before it reached Imperial forces, CC-2224 noted dully. The idea didn’t bother it overly much. It’d known it would die on this mission, had accepted that upon assignment, and faced with its imminent decommissioning, it felt very little at all. Not fear, not anger, not regret...

Well, and that wasn’t true.

CC-2224 had regrets.

(Good soldiers follow orders.)

Alone in its mind, on the brink of death, it could acknowledge their existence.

It wished, suddenly, that things were different. Not for itself, no, death had no power over CC-2224. There was no death, after all, only the Force. And there was its regret. That it had sent its—his—that it had executed a traitor, without hesitation or remorse, and that the traitor had rejoined the Force believing he had CC-2224’s loyalty.

Loyalty and love.

CC-2224 had loved the traitor and his execution was a blight on its existence.

The traitor’s fall down, down, down into the waters of Utapau haunted its dreams.

Dead, the traitor was dead, he had to be. If the traitor had survived the fall that no being could survive, then CC-2224 had failed in its orders. It would be forced to complete the mission before submitting itself for decommissioning.

So the traitor Jedi must be dead, or else CC-2224 would never be allowed to die.

… And you want to die…

Perhaps not, it conceded to itself, because death tended to solve very little in the grand scheme of the galaxy. But it certainly no longer wanted to exist here, now, in this galaxy that the glorious Emperor had built upon the blood and bones of—of the—

It didn’t matter.

CC-2224 had nothing, had no one, would die very soon, without any of its brothers to hold its hand and watch him march far away. It’d always thought it would have at least that little bit of comfort, at the end.

… But you don’t want the end… You want the beginning… As do I…

Still nestled in the crook of its arm, the objective shivered, barely perceptible, and it looked down to see… something… a ripple that shouldn’t exist… before its vision finally went dark…

.

The disappointment might kill it before the blood loss, it decides as sound and pain begin to filter back into its consciousness. All it wants is an end to its godsawful existence, is that too much to ask? An end to pain and fear and remorse, the easiest thing in the galaxy to accomplish, except if you’re CC-karking-2224.

“Wake up, please, please, wake up…”

It gripes and growls and groans at the order, the request, the plea, but complies, conditioned as it’s been to respond to that voice and tone.

Prying its eyes open isn’t something it even feels capable of doing, but it grits its teeth as it's done so many times before. “Oh,” Kote breathes, staring at the blood-and-dirt-streaked face hovering over his own. “Hello there.”

The ghost smiles, adding tears into the mixture of grime, and lets out a chuckle that sounds like a sob.

“You scared me, Commander” it says, accusatory, as if that’s the worst crime he’s committed against its person. “Oh, Cody, I thought we’d lost you. No, don’t move, I’m going to comm the medics that we finally found you.”

Kote stops trying to prop himself up and just observes the spectre of his long-dead general report their position and his condition. He could look around, take stock of whatever years-over battle this surprisingly kind fever-dream has dropped him into, but instead he drinks in the sight.

“Well, Cody, I’m afraid the medics are not going to be kind to you after this.”

Smiling more softly than he has in over a decade, Kote watches the spectre fret over his blood-sticky armor, trying to assess the damage. “I forgot he used to call me that,” Kote murmurs, disbelieving at his luck.

Of all the ways his mind could comfort him as he dies, he never thought his general’s ghost would lead him into the Force. Perhaps this dying shavit isn’t so bad.

The spectre quirks its head to the side like a little bird, brow furrowed, mouth curled to one side. “What do you mean?”

Kote feels the hot, hard coil of tension that he’s carried in his chest for so, so long begin to unravel just a little bit. He shakes his head ruefully just thinking about it, his expression no doubt disgustingly sweet. “Never had the heart to tell him he got it wrong that first time,” he admits, watching the spectre go still. “Not like it was a hardship, going from Kote to Cody. I liked it, even. Like when the tubies start losing teeth and can’t get their words right anymore.”

He chuckles at the memories, a little bubble of blood forming at his mouth. The spectre doesn’t look nearly as amused; instead, its expression had turned glacial as he’d reminisced, and now looks only gut-punched.

“Do you—” His general’s ghost looks like he’s already marching. “Cody—Kote—do you recognize me?” he asks urgently, throwing a panicked look over his shoulder. “You know me, don’t you?”

And that, ha, that’s the funniest thing he’s heard in years.

More blood works its way out of his mouth as his breath wheezes out in a painful laugh. “‘Course I do, cyar’ika,” Kote reassures the spectre. “You’re my damnfool Jedi, always rushing into danger like you’re trying to prove something to… someone… Some dead man, most like.”

He can feel himself losing steam the longer he speaks, becoming colder and more tired with every word.

The spectre darts another look over his shoulder, face spasming like he doesn’t understand what he’s seeing, until Kote fumbles around and grabs one of his hands. He looks back down, then, face going soft and tears coming thick and fast. “I don’t understand,” he whispers, breathing beginning to hitch.

His poor general looks overwhelmed and unsure, like he was back nearer the beginning of the war. “I’m sorry,” he says thickly, “I’m so sorry, ner cyare. I didn’t mean to, I didn’t want to, I’m sorry, ni ceta…”

Obi-Wan’s ghost flinches like he’s been struck, but he holds tight to Kote’s hand and pushes an errant curl away from his forehead, though Kote doesn’t remember pulling off his bucket. “Whatever it is, I forgive you,” he replies, voice sweet and lovely like he’s talking to a panicked shiny. Maybe that’s what he is, right now. “You just need to hold on a bit longer, my dear, the medics are nearly here. I’ve got you, I’ve got you, I forgive you…”

He can feel himself slipping away, into the yawning darkness.

With his luck, he’ll just wake up back on the shuttle, his general’s forgiveness a hazy memory to torture himself with. He can hear shouting, dulled by the rushing of his ears, the sound of his own heartbeat, Obi-Wan whispering benedictions and pleas to hang on, just a little more…

The hand in his grasp is pulled away and Kote whines, wanting to hold his general’s hand when he dies, but other figures crowd around him, pushing the spectre away.

And that’s—that’s not karking fair, and Kote isn’t afraid to fripping say so, to push the painfully-familiar hands and buckets away because, damn it all, he’s dying here, can’t he get a little peace, for once?

“Settle down, brother,” dear, dead, Coric says with the authority of a medic to back up the order. “If you keep this up you’ll cause more damage than we can fix.”

Kote opens his mouth to tell Coric’s ghost exactly what he can shove up his shebs but is stymied by an unceremonious hypo to the neck, cutting him off.

The last thing he thinks he sees before the dark returns is his general, covered in filth and gore, looking more conflicted than Kote has ever seen him before. And at his side, a mirror image of himself, looking solid and implacable and like he’s meticulously planning a murder.

Well, if that’s how it is, Kote doesn’t mind marching off.

He’s got his general’s back.