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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 2 years ago

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Exactly as you are

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a/n I apologize for the wait but here is part four! This story is literally a part of my identity now. Once again thank you to my sunshine @brekkershadowsinger for being my beta reader and sifting through ideas with me! All the love is so appreciated!🤍✨

summary: when two broken souls meet something is bound to happen.

warnings: none? This feels wrong... past trauma, scars and I'm definitely forgetting something.

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Time. What a strange concept it is. We say that it takes a while for true feelings to grow. It takes a moment before you realize that you can trust someone, or even more, that you fully believe you know them. But then all the hard work of building can be ripped away and shattered in seconds. Maybe even less. So is it worth it? Is the work of building and cherishing worth it when it can all be taken away from you quicker than your heart could make a single beat?

You were sitting on the windowsill. The early morning sun kissed your skin, chasing the cold breeze away. The window was fully open. You had a thick, knitted blanket wrapped around you. Kaz's order - when he saw you sitting there with only your nightgown on. You hadn't left his room in the past couple of days, and Kaz was glad to give you a safe sanctuary to pick yourself up. He brought food up there. Let you look at the stars until most of the lights in the dregs were out. Just like after the first night, the bar hadn't been brought up. You knew that you could talk about it if you wanted to, but Kaz wasn't going to push you to do so.

You flipped through the last pages of your book. A frustrated huff left your lips as you pushed it closer to your chest, looking out into the distance. A light frown on your face. "What is it?", Kaz's voice made you glance over to his table. His head was buried in the papers that Jesper had brought up yesterday. He hadn't let go of them yet; some pages had permanent dents from where Kaz had held onto them for hours on end. You shook your head just as another sigh left your lips once more. "They didn't get a happy ending", you muttered quietly.

Kaz had gotten you that book. A lady had walked up to him in the middle of the street with a basket full of books. She pulled out a pretty old book in hardcover, "Find a home for it", she had told him, and Kaz was quick to drop it onto your lap, considering that you consumed anything and everything with letters on it. "Happy endings are overrated. Who is truly happy at the end of the day?", his words were distantly cold. Your eyes landed on him again. The funny thing was that you were feeling happy. Always feeling happy when you could finish your day up here with him. Happy when he would fall into light conversation with you. Happy when you would feel his presence behind you. Close enough to feel, but far enough to not be touched. Blinking a couple of times, you moved closer to the chest of drawers.

Kaz's eyes glimpsed up ever so slightly when you pulled the material off your skin. He often wondered if you felt his eyes on you while changing. He didn't gawk at you like a silly teenager. He loved your skin. Liked that harsh reminder of the world that swirled outside the slat. Kaz often thought about how it would feel to run his fingers through the deep valleys of scars on your back. He had grown to love that part of you so deeply, and so quietly.

"If…", you started, cutting yourself. Kaz lowered his gaze before lifting his head as if he was indeed looking at you for the first time. "Well, I was wondering if…", you muttered. Kaz dropped his pen. "Just get to it", he urged you, frowning slightly at his tone. "I want to go outside or at least downstairs, but…", your hands reached behind your back, quickly doing up a couple of buttons there. "I heard the girls saying in the street below that the apple trees are in full bloom. I've never seen one properly before".

How lame did it sound? A girl your age would probably walk through a tree like that without a second look. Most younglings ran around, climbing trees. Yet you never got to experience that. Sold after your first bleed, pulled, and shoved ever since. Locked somewhere deep within a house until you were needed. At best, getting to watch or see a tree or two through cracks in the walls. Kaz's silence felt like an answer in itself. He had grown even more protective after the incident, and at first, just being with him was exactly what you needed. But now it was starting to suffocate you.

"I have business in town till noon. I'll take you there after I'm finished", you just stood there, unable to help the surprised look that flashed through your face. The corners of your lips tugged upward ever so slightly. You wanted to let him know that he didn't have to. That you would understand. Maybe someone else would go with you, but now that he has offered… Your cheeks grew pink, and you quickly dabbed them, saying, "I'll be looking forward to that". You moved to wrap the silk scarf over your hair, fixing it neatly, and when you turned back around, Kaz was by the door, keeping it open for you."Oh, we're going now?", you questioned. "Aren't you hungry?", he asked bluntly, motioning with his cane for you to get going. "Just thought…" you said, but you shook your head, stepping in front of Kaz. Your fingers brushed against his arm ever so slightly as you moved past him.

Kaz slipped through the back door without a second thought. You did feel his hand lingering closer to the small of your back while you walked down the stairs as if he was there to catch you. There to offer support in case you fell or simply changed your mind and wanted to get back upstairs. But then, without you even having a chance to catch a second glance at him, he was gone. The warmth of him was replaced by the lingering coldness that now seemed to burn your back. You stood there for a moment. Just looking at the back door as if that somehow was going to summon Kaz back.

"Oh, Y/N", Jesper's voice made you turn around quickly. The genuine surprise on his face was hard to miss. Your eyes slipped to the plate filled with waffles that he was carrying, stomach growling lightly in begging for food. You wrapped your arms around yourself. The familiar unease returned to shackle your body. Wishing you were here, you let that thought slip through your mind. Not chasing after it, though, when it slowly drifted away into nothingness. "Come, join us. Everyone's been missing you", this time Jesper's voice had that comforting tone, the one that he always used while talking to you, followed up by a warm smile. He doesn't reach out a hand toward you. Aware of the impact a contact like that could have. You just nodded slightly, falling into the step behind him.

The kitchen seemed a lot lighter today. The windows were open, making the white curtains sway ever so slightly. Dancing in the spring breeze. Someone had bought flowers that were nicely arranged in a big vase. The sound of laughter and chatter made this place feel so much more like home. Who needed a fancy dining room if it would be filled with silence? However, it all died down when you came from behind Jesper's back. As if the ghost had lingered in the place, sending a shiver down everyone's backs.

You lowered your head. Scared to meet everyone's faces. As if you were meeting them all over again. But that fear didn't get to linger for long as you felt two hands bringing you closer to someone. A familiar scent filled your nose, and you were brought into Nina's embrace. She was the most affectionate of them all. And it was a big statement considering that Jesper and Wylan were rarely apart. But she thrived on it. Fed on it and consumed it with all that she had. "I am so sorry, you can't imagine. All this time, I've been blaming myself. You do know that I would never…", she burst out, tripping over her own words as she pulled away from you, wanting nothing more but to meet your eyes. "It's okay", you muttered, squeezing her hands. Nina's face froze for a moment, her mouth gaping slightly. "You should probably breathe because your heart might stop", you urge her sheepishly, yet she just shook her head as a smile crept onto her face as well.

You always liked blending into the background chatter that mingled around a table filled with food. Not knowing why. It just felt calming. You could observe. Be there, but also always able to build a wall between yourself and everyone in the room. Having a chance to watch the four of them was something you became so attracted to. Missed it even during your days up at Kaz's room. It was a sense of belonging. Even if you didn't want to participate in the talking, they never missed a chance to double-check that you had everything, whether you wanted seconds or a drink. It was a sense of warmth. A smile and loving words. Something that you didn't get any of before you came here. A sense of family. Knowing very well that if you reached out, you would never be denied. Never be left alone.

So without even thinking, you leaned to the side. Pressing your head on Jesper's shoulder. His hand instantly embraced you. "You're tired? Want me to walk you back up?", he asked you softly, but you didn't trust your voice, shaking your head ever so slightly. He dropped his hand from your side, leaving you enough room to pull away when being close to him got too much. You wanted to thank him for looking after you and for always being so patient, but you just couldn't bring yourself to do so. Looking up at him, you wondered if he knew. Knew how much it meant to you to have someone like him. Jesper's eyes met yours as he pulled his attention from the story that Nina was telling. Pushing a strand of hair behind your ears, he gave you a lighter smile, winking before turning back to the rest of his friends.

"Soo…", Nina spoke up when you all had finally finished eating, and the dishes were washed and dried. You continued to fold dried clothes without acknowledging her curiosity. "Cone on now, you and Kaz", Nina said, wriggling her eyebrows. Abandoning the pile in front of her as she stepped closer to you. Flopping down on one of the bench. Perching her head on her fist as she beamed at you.

"What about me and Kaz?", you asked her, as if you indeed had no clue what she was referring to. You expected it. Well, no, you expected them all to first go to Kaz or not bring it up at all for that same reason. You knew that the fact that you had been calling for him for hours upon hours had to mean something.

"He cares about you", you quickly blinked a couple of times, dragging yourself out of your thoughts as Nina nudged you once more. "Well, yeah", you trailed off, moving to pick up another basket, "Just like he cares about all of his investments". Nina's hopeful face was quickly dampened by annoyance as she rolled her eyes at you. "Oh, wonderful! You even sound just like Kaz now", she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. The silence fell upon the two of you.

She had been eyeing you up during breakfast, so you weren't all that surprised when she asked you if you wanted to help her tackle the laundry. Nina was one curious woman, more than ready for a sprinkle of gossip. Her heart was pure. You know just as well that even before you spoke to her, she always made sure that you felt a part of their group. So if you were to join her, she always talked. Talked without taking a moment to breathe at times, and it brought you some comfort. Her voice kept your attention.

"You two talk?", she tried again, and you couldn't help the silent giggle that slipped past your lips, "Nina, is this an interrogation?" She let out a frustrated growl. Struggling as much as she usually struggles with Kaz when he indeed joins everyone for dinner or lunch. "No, no, just…", she was quick to defend herself. "You two seem like two broken pieces who ended up piecing together and…", "So you needed help with laundry?", you cut her off quickly. For some reason, it felt weird.

You didn't want to talk about anything that was happening in Kaz's room. Mostly because you didn't know what was happening. It didn't have a label. It wasn't something you could measure. Yes, things had shifted. There were evenings when you lay in bed together, just looking at each other. The first time Kaz climbed in to lay beside you, you probably looked redder than a strawberry. It was just that—laying and looking. Seeing. You've never been with anyone in such an intimate way. The world around you drowned out. Just you and him. Kaz would slip away after you'd fallen asleep. His fingers trace the side of your cheek or resting over your palm for a heartbeat. But nothing was ever verbal.

"Fine, don't say anything. I feel it all anyways", Nina said, standing up with a huff and swirling her hand in the air as she returned to her pile of laundry. "You feel what?", you frowned quickly. Surely, she couldn't feel you two from Kaz's attic room. Could she even distinguish it? And what was there to feel? "Nothing, nothing, an investment, and the owner", Nina smirked at you before dropping her gaze. You stood there for a moment. But with a quick shake of your head, returned to folding.

Kaz was frustrated. Even that didn't cut it. The anger in his veins was starting to burn. Nothing. No matter what he did or who he threatened, nothing led him any closer to the males in his bar. He simply didn't understand. How could someone just appear out of nowhere? No leads. Nothing to hold onto. As if that was the main point. As if the assault wasn't the main thing, the chaise was what was supposed to drive Kaz insane.

"Polina would have liked this", you muttered, eyes closed as you sat with your face turned to the evening sun. Kaz was desperate all day. Desperate to walk back and take you to see the blooming trees. He knew this was going to be his lifeline. Something that would keep him in check. And it was. The way your eyes nearly filled up with tears as you took the whole field of wild apple trees in. White and pink petals fall gracefully from time to time. He watched how you carefully reached up to touch them. So gentle as if you were to hurt them somehow. How you had turned to beam at him, how you had smiled. You. How was anyone able to take one look at you and want to harm you when all Kaz wanted was to protect and cherish you?

"Your sister?", he asked, and you nodded your head. You had never talked to Kaz about Polina. But you weren't all that surprised that he knew who she was. You fully expected Kaz to have done a background check on you, and at times it made you wonder - what did he know? What had he managed to find? And if he knew everything, why had he not said anything yet? But you never dared to. Clinging to the hope that Kaz had only gathered some of your backstory, not enough to uncover it all.

"Yeah, I feel like Jordie would be here sketching this", Kaz motioned with his cane to the rest of the field that stretched out in front of you. The setting sun was slowly starting to paint everything a golden gleam. Kaz felt stupid the moment these words had slipped past his lips, but there was no turning back, and the way your eyes had softened at that moment made it painfully aware that you understood his longing.

"Thank you for this", you muttered, turning your attention fully to the male sitting by your side. It was such a weird thing to see Kaz sitting on the grass, leaning against the tree. He looked his age here, not some dangerous gang owner who everyone feared. Kaz only hummed, closing his own eyes for a moment. You bit your lip as you watched him, and then your body was moving before you could even think about it. Leaning closer to press a feather-like kiss onto Kaz's cheeks, pulling back straight away.

His eyes shot open. Big eyes as he took in your rosy cheeks. The urge to pinch them between his fingers and kiss you was all Kaz could think of, but he shoved that thought deep down. Suffocating it with his own hands until it lay lifeless in the back of his mind. The switch in his emotions set you off as well. The flushed cheeks ran pale, and you turned away from him, rubbing your fingers together. "We need to head back. I need to work some more", Kaz stood up first, moving to walk even before you were up.

You had slipped into your quiet self upon returning home. Nina had tried to joke around about how you and Kaz had returned together, but your face only dulled at the mention of that, so she quickly changed the topic. Kaz went out once more with a harsh slam on the door, and all you could think about was how your actions had made him upset. You thought about asking Nina to check on his heartbeat to see if she could read out some of his emotions. Anything that might help you settle your guilt. But you had decided against it, knowing that this would be a breach that Kaz would never forgive.

When everyone fell into an easy conversation downstairs, you slipped out, heading back to Kaz's room. You debated whether you should be taking your bedding to the room that was initially set to be yours. You wondered if he was still going to talk to you tonight. Or come lay beside you so you could apologize and promise to never do that again. That you had just been craving his touch because he had started to feel so much like a haven, and your body was just seeking out the comfort he brought you. Your eyes feel upon the chair that lay pushed over. The papers were spread out all over the room. Some were even on the bed. You picked them up, turning them over in your hands, before an idea sparked in your head.

Kaz didn't have a reason to be walking through the streets so late, but his mind was moving so fast that he felt like he needed to move his body too, or he would explode. Even in the cold evening, nipping at his skin, all Kaz could feel were your warm lips. It felt like a flash of lightning. So quick you could hardly catch it at the time, but evident because it had set his whole body in overdrive.

He had to apologize once he got back. He had wanted to do that before he walked out. The moment he saw you sitting by the table downstairs, looking at the wall in front of you. But the moment he wanted to step in, Nina had walked up to you, hosting you up so you would help her with dinner. Your lips. The soft touch of them against his skin. Kaz wasn't sure why, but he didn't feel the drowning fear when you leaned in. Maybe he simply wasn't expecting it, or maybe his body was able to tell that it was you.

Yet his desires faded the moment he opened the door to his room and found you piling up the papers that he had left there prior. No. No. You didn't just… "What have you done", Kaz rushed in, looking all over the room. All the mappings of the information that he had been working on for days. Everything that was supposed to lead him to the males at the club. "It was all messy, I thought…", your voice was so small as you quickly let go of the files in your hands, stepping away from the table. "Who asked you to do this?", he rushed over, ripping the drawers open and sending some of the papers flying, "You stupid… thing. I was this close!"

Pulling a pile of papers, Kaz quickly sifted through them. There was once again no order between them. A harsh slap on the desk made you jump back. "Kaz…", you crocked out; this was supposed to be way different. All you wanted to do was help. "Get out", he pointed towards the door, and you let out a cry straight away. Never before had he pushed you away, no matter the frustration or the meeting he had with the crows, but here you were. "Get out; I don't want to see you here ever again", his words cut into your skin. Your lips trembled, but you still lingered. Hoping that maybe. Maybe he would change his mind. "I said get lost, or are you deaf now too?", you shook your head. Stepping out of the room, close the door behind you carefully.

You quickly rushed down the stairs, hand covering your mouth so you would suppress the sobs threatening to slip past your lips. You had no idea where you were supposed to go. Could you still stay here, somewhere in the house? Or were you supposed to get out here fully? You caught a glimmer of four crows, all standing by the arch that leads toward the living room. Faces drenched in confusion. No doubt, they had heard the yelling from upstairs. But you couldn't take it. Couldn't take pity. The smothering that came with comforting someone. So you leaped towards the door, ripping it open as you slipped out into the night.

You strode as if you were in a daze. The streets were familiar to you, but with all the emotions running through your body, it felt more like you were floating. The hot tears stung your eyes as you turned to get away from the main streets. You needed to find a place to lay low. Something. Anything. Till he calmed down. Till you could say sorry. But just as a night in the club, you felt it before it happened.

Someone grabbed you from behind just this time, instead of someone lingering to breathe down your neck, you felt a cold blade being pushed against it as the person pressed you closer to its chest with the free hand. "And the bird finally flew into the trap", your whole body went cold as the male's voice filled the dark alleyway. You knew that you should have run because the grip he had on you wasn't firm, and if you were smart enough, you might be able to turn just enough to avoid him slicing your throat fully open. But you couldn't move; your body was as firm as a block of ice.

"As quiet as I left you. No one taught you how to chirp?", the sick feeling twisted your guts. Something within you cracked, awakening the spark within you. Yet that wasn't enough to fade out the fear when you felt the cloth being pressed over your face. You tried to push it away, scratching your nails against the male's hand, but it didn't seem to give you any advantage, and as the black dots filled your vision, the only thing that made you petrified was that you knew who that voice belonged to and that you had hoped to never see that face again.

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Kazle Dazle taglist: @igakc @anxiousbeech @vicky-09 @coldheartedmar @teigo-the-explorer @whos6claire @0bsessedwithfictionalcharacters

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker #six of crows imagine #six of crows x reader #six of crows x you #shadows and bone x reader

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torakan · 8 months ago

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PART TWO!! TEXT VERSION

it was so long since i posted the first one haha hope you didn’t forget 🥲🥲

again, if there’re any mistakes - please tell me ^^

part 1

part 2 art

The next 24 hours all I did was hiding in the wall even though I was quite literally starving. You can’t blame me though, I was fearful for my life, okay? After such a day anyone would have stayed in bed and questioned their life choices…

However, it was pretty much a life and death situation, so I had to get up and find something before deciding if I should stay here or find new home. It’s a decision that you can’t take on an empty stomach, every borrower knows that.

Before you ask, I wasn’t worried all that much about this guy telling other people about me as seeing small people is quite abnormal for them and in best case nobody would’ve believed him, in worst… he would’ve probably ended up in hospital, but we will never know.

So, like that, I collected my thoughts, emotions and gear and went out on another attempt to get food. To be honest, i think my stomach was at the point of acceptance, I didn’t feel any hunger until I finally got to the kitchen counter and saw some fruits. Human wasn’t there but it didn’t mean anything to me anymore, I was too traumatized by yesterday’s experience. *Sighs dramatically*.

Maybe because the day before was extremely unlucky, I was rewarded with something delicious. There were grapes which are super convenient to borrow as humans won’t see any of them missing, some raisins and nuts. I took one grape right away and my stomach growled so loudly, even a half-deaf human granny would’ve heard, I swear. I bit it and transparent juice started to run down my chin which I wiped off right away. It was such a relief to finally eat something, I can’t describe this feeling honestly. Better would probably be the feeling of relief after you endured your piss or, even worse, poo, for an indescribable long time and then you finally get to the toilet and it’s just… ahh.

Anyway, back to the story. As I said, I finally had access to food, but I couldn’t afford to fill my stomach to the fullest at that exact moment since it would’ve been too difficult to climb back home in that case. That’s why I only ate one grape and took another one home as well as a couple of raisins and some nuts. And then the idea popped in my head. What if I left some food that can be stored for a long time to that one my favourite hiding spot? I thought it was a smart decision since in the case I ran out of supplies or had to make an urgent stop I would have something edible waiting for me. So, with that I went straight to the place where human saw me not so long ago. Imagine my surprise when I saw that he left something there. On the other hand, it was quite expected… I was terrified to even look at it yet alone touch, but I couldn’t avoid the smell it had. I tried something like this only at my 10th birthday and my mom told me it was chocolate that we ate as a treat. It was some kind of desert that beans eat for pleasure. Maybe the human I lived with wanted to poison me with that? Or to somehow use it to make me become his pet? I still wonder about this at night, but even though I was really curious about that “offering”, I was more interested in surviving, so I went straight up behind the books where there was a small niche for me to hide. I placed all the things carefully and returned to the counter to pick some more. This day was pretty chill since the human showed up at his usual time and didn’t bother. He was as quiet and relaxed as ever with the only difference, that when he was in the kitchen, I could have heard the music from his phone. It wasn’t unpleasant, on the contrary, I liked it. The guy hummed along with it and his voice wasn’t so bad either to be honest, so I just lay in bed and listened till I fell asleep.

For the next few days nothing weird happened, everything seemed to go back to normal with the only difference that now the human was openly listening to music and sometimes sing very quietly along with it. I didn’t hate it, it didn’t bother me, so it was fine. Till that one day when I was, again, hiding behind the books (I swear, that spot must be cursed, but it was too dear for me to give up and abandon it) after taking a shower in human’s sink in the bathroom and being already on my way home. He showed up in the house earlier today again and I just barely had time to react and hide. When he entered the kitchen, I already sensed that something was off. The way he threw the keys on the table, how he tossed the bag on the floor and his jacket on the couch showed that he was really frustrated about something. Honestly, he was quite scary in that mood, though I didn’t see him being like that too often. Hell, I only remember that happening once in the whole year and I was in the walls, safe but watching this up close was kinda… unsettling.

However, to my surprise, that didn’t last for too long. The guy calmed himself down within like five minutes or so, trying to take deep breaths, then he sat on the chair at the table and… yeah, he started crying. He was crying very quietly, as was everything he did, holding back tears and sobs, as if he was scared someone might hear him…

wait a minute… do you think he might’ve been thinking about me? He definitely couldn’t have forgotten out encounter, right?

I sighed. This human wasn’t making my life any easier. It’s not like I was pitying him or anything, humans are monstrous creatures, evil and cruel and every borrower knew that… Nah, lying has never been one of my strengths so, frankly, I did feel bad for him. This human didn’t try to do anything nasty to me for the whole week, which was a complete opposite of what I heard about them, so I couldn’t help but hope that he wasn’t that awful. I suddenly got curious about him. If he had so many opportunities to catch me and hurt me, why didn’t he do that already? And why was he crying right now? Was he hurt or something? Is human life that difficult? Borrowers usually aren’t sentimental, we only cry on very rare special occasions such as when we’re badly hurt or it’s a deadly situation, or when we break two or more bones at once and there’s no one for us to help to escape and we’re left there to die alone. But this guy didn’t seem to be physically hurt or in any danger, so why was he sobbing?

I couldn’t help it and finally set my eyes on the “offering”. It turned out to be a small round box, which most likely was a human bottle cape with some continents: a piece of chocolate (as I already knew) and a note. Oh no, he wanted to communicate… so it could’ve been a trap in the end… even so, I was already beyond fixing and too far from following the borrower rules, so maybe it wont hurt if I read it just this once…

thank you for reading ^^

comments and suggestions are appreciated

@gtzel @smallsday

#g/t #g/t community #borrowers #gt community #giant tiny #giant/tiny #gt writing #tiny #ocs #oc #my ocs #borrower

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saintsenara · 8 months ago

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So I found your blog a while back and I last night I finally found the time to browse through pretty much all your HP meta and ship takes (i slept way later than I should've yesterday, thanks to you ^^) and I'm astonished at how you manage to weave in well founded analysis even into your answers to even the most deranged ship-asks

That being said, I scrolled through a lot of your blog and I couldn't find your opinion on grindeldore as a ship. Since i really like your takes on ol dumbles (even though I don't agree with all of them. For example I don't think his whimsical traits are entirely a lie. I think they are a part of him he over-exaggerates as a coping mechanism and a comfort to himself and others) I was wondering how you think this relationship-dynamic worked, how it shaped him and how large a role it played in his later life

(This is not a reaction to the ask game obviously, since the ship has no gone rather mainstream. I sometimes miss its days of obscurity before the fb movies but that's another ask)

thank you very much for the ask, anon - and especially for the very kind message at the start.

my opinion on grindeldore is coloured by the fact that i've never seen any of the fantastic beasts films - and that i've also gone out of my way to forget anything i've ever accidentally learned about any of them. i just don't find the idea of them interesting in the slightest.

but i love the little flashes of grindeldore we get in the seven-book canon - the image of the owls flying back and forth at all hours of the night because they can’t bear not to be talking to each other has a good claim to be the most romantic thing which happens in the series - and i also love the way that grindelwald becomes another example of a narrative tool the series uses to great effect with many other main characters besides dumbledore: the figure, only ever fragmentarily known [both by the reader and by the character who loved them], who causes such immense grief that it dictates the entire course of that character's life.

grindelwald plays the role in dumbledore's narrative arc that james plays in harry's - he considers grindelwald perfect, wonderful, brilliant... until he can't pretend this is the case anymore, just as harry hero-worships his father until he is confronted by the proof that he was a bully. but while harry then begins to understand james with more nuance, dumbledore retreats - hides himself from grindelwald until he's literally forced to duel him, and then hides grindelwald away and never sees him again.

grindelwald is dumbledore's lily - his grief over losing him [and, specifically, his grief over losing the imagined version of him, when who he really was could no longer be ignored - which is exactly how snape thinks of lily] drives him towards a life which encapsulates what the series understands as "love": the willingness to steadfastly endure and suffer and sacrifice in silence.

and he's also dumbledore's merope - the person who didn't even try to stay alive be better for him, who irreparably ripped his chance at a happy family apart, and who abandoned him when things got hard - and, just as voldemort's entire life becomes about creating a place for himself in the world which soothes that grief, so too does dumbledore's. his public persona becomes unwaveringly noble for exactly the same reason that voldemort's becomes unassailably villainous - so that the fragility of the grieving man beneath the mask is never known.

these parallels are why i back the concepts of snumbledore and riddledore [and the triad - snumblemort] so utterly [i am not quite brave enough for harrydore, i fear], and so they certainly mean that i should find grindeldore compelling...

but i find - i think - that i like grindelwald better as a background character whose ghost haunts dumbledore's later relationships - romantic or otherwise. his shadow looming over the two dumbledore brothers, and the way that the memory of him rears up when the eleven-year-old tom riddle calls himself "special", and the way that dumbledore still loathes himself so strongly - a century later - for being taken in by his smile that he spits "you disgust me" at snape are canon moments which always stand out for me, and i love how these can be expanded in fanfiction - what happens when voldemort and/or snape find out about grindeldore obsesses me, for example.

and i am similarly interested in how dumbledore can't be written as a fully-rounded character unless the impact of his relationship with grindelwald [and how this drives his public performance of careful eccentricity, causes his obvious ivory-tower-ishness, and informs his thinking on love and desire and so on] is taken into account.

but i just am less interested in grindeldore as the central relationship in a piece [although there are definitely exceptions to this rule] - and i think being so stubborn about fantastic beasts is probably why. grindelwald works so well in the books as a shadow that i end up finding that more compelling than seeing him as a main character [which i also feel about james - i really like the ghost of unrequited prongsfoot, which is canon, haunting sirius in his adult life, but i care about it less as the main ship of a fic], but i'm sure that i would feel otherwise if i ever bothered to get into how he's written for the films, where he serves such a different narrative purpose that he gets more substance.

and i should also say that i don't find that grindeldore interests me to write myself because i think that filling grindelwald out into a main character on the basis of book-canon detail alone would mean confronting just how explicit an analogy for hitler he is in the text [my impression is that fantastic beasts changes this a lot], which is something i don't really have the energy for.

[although - since it's always worth reiterating this - the grindeldore girlies are perfectly entitled to ship the pairing in any way they like, and to write the characters and their motivations in any way they choose, without getting any grief about it. this is fiction.]

but who knows - maybe i'll change my mind the more grindeldore crosses my path. stranger things have happened.

because there is a little idea which continues to needle at me... that dumbledore's loathing of horcruxes, even in the 1940s, is because grindelwald had made one. and that this is why, when he meets harry at king's cross, he is so determined to believe that the rumours of his repentance were true...

#asks answered #asenora's opinions on ships #grindeldore #albus dumbledore #gellert grindelwald

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sol-consort · 4 months ago

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I started playing dragon age inquisition (let me know if you want to see a pic of my character because I think she's a cutie) because I started me3 but then I realized that when I finish that one there's no more mass effect (I know there's Andromeda but it's not the same) so I'm trying to long-ify (is that a word?) the process my starting dragon age. Have you played it? If so, who do you think I should romance because I have absolutely no idea who to pick (I'm playing as an elf female).

I related to that feeling a lot, I just reached the near end of Andromeda (finished reforming the last planet) and I closed them game and took a break to play other ones because I don't want it to end just yet :(

I do that a lot in gaming, hell in books, too. Because once it's over, it's really over, and I don't want that to happen yet. It's like saving the last layer of a cake + the strawberry in the fridge to snack on later. It also could be because I rarely, if never, replay games? I remember them too well to be able to enjoy a replay, even when it's been years. When I boot them up again, it's never the same or close to the wonder of the first playthrough because I have all the memories and knowledge. It's like I literally played it yesterday. The only exception is when my savefile corrupts (bc of mods), and I have to restart.

I have the dragon age series, got recommended it a lot during my bg3 blog days, got it on sale, and never opened it...yet. Mass Effect sucked me in before I could explore more DnD themed games. Then, pathologic ran through me like a bullet train, and if I open it now, I'll get sucked into DnD again and forget all about the silly aliens. I have the attention span of a hummingbird, soulcrushingly intense but quickly fleeting.

I have a whole elf human kink series there if you want, with original or vague characters rather than ones from bg3.

but yes, please do show me your character! I love looking at pretty characters.

As for who to romance, I heard there is a bald elf/half elf guy? Avoid him like the plague. The tiktoks I saw haven't painted him in the nicest picture.

I did a quick google search and these three are hot ngl

also THERE HE IS! I found the fucker, it's this guy right here

Don't let his mewing face fool you, he is a radioactive toxic wasteland, or so I heard? Idk people seemed really angry with him in the comment section of his own thirst traps which should say something.

Maybe you can fix him? Maybe he will make you worse? Who knows. For me, I will go with whoever has the biggest hog to cronk, like how our caveman ancestors decided their mate, the way god intended <3

*straps included.

#☆other fandoms #☆dragon age

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ndjournal · 1 year ago

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Possible TW? But dw I don't talk about any specifics/details! Not trauma dumping.

So I like many others came to ND from LOA. I didn't have a ton of success with LOA, a lot of it was in vain (lol) but I did succeed in a 'major' way once, I "shifted realities" using LOA to one where a friend did not leave me on delivered for several days but replied almost immediately after I messaged him. The context is we had a falling out over a year ago and hadn't talked since and I really missed our friendship so much. So after the 'shift' we started talking again and it was really nice. Then I found ND and knew I would one day have to let go of this beloved friendship to realize Self too. Recently he suffered a personal loss and is in the process of grieving. I was really sad for him and let him know he could talk to me whenever and I'd be there for him. That was over a week ago. Then yesterday something bad happened to Vanessa. She could have fought it but she decided not to fight the dream. She surrendered and gave up. It was really unpleasant for her to feel all those feelings but I just observed..

***For clarity: I actually don't recommend just surrendering if your basic safety and wellbeing is at danger, guys. Please do use common sense. I don't entirely agree with ND teachers about surrendering when it comes to this part; literally none of the major ND books address anything about trauma/abuse. In practice, I told ego and body it wasn't real and surrendered but there was still a physiological trauma response that the body had to process, nothing was happening consciously in my mind in terms of thoughts but there were a lot of involuntary physiological responses. yes I was observing but was it necessary to watch the body to suffer immensely? I don't think so. Suffering is unnecessary for self-realization, don't impose that condition on yourself. I'm learning through personal experience to follow my own truth to Self and not just take on everything that the books teach at face value because I don't think some of their advice is all that practical***

Anyway, after what happened, I observed Vanessa and the body was really conflicted in many ways despite trying to distance Self from it. I thought of my good friend who was also suffering on his own and really wanted to reach out to him to check on him. I had held back on this because again, self-realization = letting go and letting things happen in the dream without doing anything? But how can it be wrong to have love for others and extend compassion? Vanessa didn't want to do it to gain anything, she just wanted her friend to be okay. That can never be wrong. I decided that teaching can fuck off in this case, I can do what I want so long I don't forget Self when I act.

So Vanessa reached out to her friend and he was surprisingly really open to her in ways he never was before? Something he never was before and she really appreciated it. Then he suggested catching up?? This is something that she had imagined and wanted to manifest for YEARS. And it just happened just like that? Things just happen on their own when you surrender.. Again guys, I don't recommend doing what I did for that specific scenario (I won't specify what happened). I'm only sharing to show the power of surrendering, I do NOT recommend surrendering in cases where your body's basic safety/needs are in jeopardy, that is unnecessary. PLEASE do not do that. I decided to surrender in that situation but you don't need to be in such a situation to surrender; you can surrender at any time.

Most importantly because of all that happened, I learned to listen to my own Self above any of the books. Fuck what the books/realized masters say if it doesn't sit right with you tbh; Ada said your greatest guru is your own Self and I 100% believe and trust in that above all else now. That would be my greatest advice of all for everyone from this experience. Not all of the teachings are actually practical or compassionate in taking into account any trauma/crisis management. It's fine for your body/mind/ego to protect itself as you observe, just remember you are Self and not what you are observing.

And if anyone's wondering, right now I am still observing my body process everything (mind never identified with it so mind is okay, but body stores trauma (not something I decided lol, just part of the dream) and reacted to it) but I am treating ego and body with gentle kindness and patience. *I* know all is safe, well and okay and we have learned a great lesson so it's all okay. This knowing has actually managed to speed up the healing and I don't think there's any long-lasting trauma effects either (Vanessa has used spiritual healing to help too though).

I used to keep checking for instant materialisation when I first started but I've given that up now lol. That just created too much pressure to realize Self and is backwards to letting go of desires and ego. It'll happen when it happens. Whenever that is. I just know all is perfect right now as I AM and am at peace to just be.

You said this journey isn't linear and that's true. And here's a reminder from Ada: "As long as you don't lose sight of your real self, you're always doing the right thing. When you catch yourself getting too involved with externals, just keep asking yourself ‘To whom it all happens?’. The final destination is the same, and the road there is shorter when you rely on your own inner voice."

So TRUST YOURSELVES ABOVE ALL ELSE, GUYS! And don't pressure your egos by putting time limits/deadlines on it. Just surrender and let go when it's practical and never lose sight of your real self. I'm sharing this in hopes that you learn from my experience and don't need to go through unnecessary suffering just for the sake of realizing Self.

Lots of love to you all <3

Oh anon, I'm so sorry you went through that.. :( but the way you handled everything is amazing and this lesson is so valuable. I absolutely agree with everything you said.

Ada said this to an anon who may have went through something similar:

I'm sorry such a thing happened, please do not allow anyone/anything to make you feel gross about yourself or any of your creations (thoughts/mind/body). Also don't feel like you have to live with that in any way and know you can change/revise it ever happening if it's weighing on your mind, this is your life and it's precious, and so is your body, nothing should happen against your will in your life ever, it is yours and yours alone to experience in the best ways. - 4dbarbie

Everyone please take care! Never take anything you read at face value and use it as a guide only, as a pointer. If something feels wrong, then don't ignore that. Follow and trust your inner voice above all else. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm glad you're safe and okay.

Lots of love <3

#applied #submissions

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thequeenofmyownscreen · 1 year ago

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Yesterday night was our last session of my first D&D campaign ever

Last night we drank merrily, saying goodbye (for now) to the 4 adventurers in my first D&D campaign ever, for which I was the DM (1st time ever also). I feel very happy and a little sad also, so I thought I could write it all up here - mostly for me, and for you reading if that interests you.

It was more of a Wrap-up session, we didn't play per se, but I wanted to recap the last scenes, and give the floor to my players to ask some questions and discuss what we've been doing. It was a good idea, I think, it went great, we had time to reminisce and remember the beginnings, the roads not taken and the what-ifs, the monsters and the battles they were traumatized by, and what their characters would do now.

Flashbacks and sneak peeks and more thoughts under the cut

When I started to watch Critical Role, I had no idea what D&D was. All I heard were mentions of it in media (tv shows, mostly). It intrigued me more and more, and I started to look at the rules, and the books published, etc. And then one day on an impulse, I bought the Starter Set : Lost Mine of Phandelver, and sent a message to my sister and some friends, asking if they were interested to see what it was about with me.

In April 2021, with my sister and 3 friends, 4 players in total, we created their characters, and we started truly playing in May 2021. At first, we played only once a month, in person, because Roll20 is awesome for battles but not much for anything else (personal opinion). Plus we were going out again after the pandemic, it felt nice. Then in June 2022, one of my friends and players decided to leave, and we recruited another friend at the same time, so I still had 4 players to manage through and through. They were all pretty much novices like me (only 1 had played before), and so we all learned together during the years. In multiple ways ! small but important things like : who's taking care of the scheduling, who's time is it to host and what food & drink will we bring, who has many dice and can lend them, how can we figure the characters without buying expensive minis (we ended up using fèves, which is a very French thing I will explain now : at the beginning of the year, you gather your friends or colleagues or family or whatever to eat the galette des rois, literally cake of the kings, and whether you make it or bought it, there is always inside 1 very small porcelain figurine, and the person finding it gets to be King/Queen for the day. Yeah it's the same country who decapitated the last king, don't ask. Anyway sometimes people collect the small porcelain figurines, and then their grandchildren sell the collection, and we ended up with a lot for practically nothing.).

In late 2022 and throughout 2023, we decided to try and play more, and managed - with a few exceptions - to play twice a month, which we found was a good rhythm : for me, to not have too much prep work, and for my players, to not forget everything that happened last time. In the meantime, another friend of mine with whom I am having lunch at work with very regularly, got used to hear me talking about "the shit my players did last night" and was very interested in following this as a story ; she asked questions, and gave me a space to think, and even ended giving advice and suggestions ! I'm naming her my unofficial co-DM now. It was nice to have someone know all the twists and the structure of the story, and to exchange ideas and jokes.

One thing I was very happy to do, and was very happy when my players talked about it saying I did a good job : PROPS ! The adventure as written has a few examples of message of hiring mercenaries, strange letters sent by a mysterious figure, etc etc. For one, I took time to write in ink (in my teenage years I was obsessed by calligraphy and I still have a quill), and for another I passed the paper in coffee and tea and then dried it to give it an ancient look. Props like this costs nothing but it's awesome.

During 2022 and 2023, 2 of my players had moved far away, but we managed to set up remote video calls for them, while us 3 others gathered 'round the table, and we even had an elaborate if precarious system to film the map during battles (pictured down). And yes for the final dungeon, I printed the map in extra-large, and ended using the wall to show the progress in exploring !

I won't recap all of the story, it doesn't matter in the end, everyone who's ever played knows that you can do an adventure 30 times and it will end up in 30 different stories. What's interesting was that the Lost Mine of Phandelver is described as "a perfect campaign to start playing" : that I agree with ; but that doesn't mean it does not need work. Thankfully the Internet is awesome, and since it's the most played adventure of 5E, a LOT of people have advices, do nots and dos, stories of their own campaigns, useful links and tools, etc. 1st lesson : if it exists already, use that shit. Use it like the world is ending tomorrow. At the start, I was doing this on my own volition, and prepping way too much, while being scared to change things. Then I was inspired reading reddits posts (yes, it happens), and seeing videos, and I started adding more details of my own - or stuff I borrowed from others Internet strangers. The paradox was that I was getting more comfortable while prepping less, because... I got the hang of it, I think it's what happened !

I still have some frustrations, some I shared last night with my players : easier-than-expected batles for my players (the 1st was a conscious act of mercy, and the battle ended way too quickly of course ; the 2nd was I forgot an important detail of the villain's weapon and could not use it, but in the end she had other stuff and the battle was still epic). 2nd lesson : listen to Matt Mercer when he says that as a DM, you really want to use the nuclear option in your opponent’s arsenal on the opening round. If you don't, you will have regrets. My other big frustration is about the player that decided to leave ; we just didn't understand the game on the same-level, but it makes me a little sad that she left before it could click for her, and we could truly talk about it. Especially since last night, I was overjoyed listening to my players talk each about their "epiphany" of how the game works, and how they got comfortable after feeling this truth, and seeing how "you don't win at D&D, the fun is everything else", and I was like yesssssss YOU you get it. 3d lesson : communication ! (it feels like there's still room for improvement, but we have a nice flow going).

All and all, it was an amazing experience, 10/10, will do it again ; and we will ! we agreed we will come back years from now to Faerûn ! and I'll be back as a DM ! and we'll do another written campaign continuing from level 5 (I know there's written options out there). In the meantime though, my sister is leaving our group just for this year, but we're going to keep playing at 4. And this time, I'll be a player !! One of my former players, the amazing @greetingsprogramms will be our DM : she already did 2 one-shots throughout the 2 years, and she did a fantastic job. We're going where a lot of fantasy people have not gone before : spaaaaaaace !

#sorry this post is not well structured #it's more : THOUGHTS ! not in order !#it's also hefty paragraphs but... how can I talk about the thing I did for 2 years and a half without being long. You know ?#the conclusion is : I fucking love D&D and I fucking loved being a DM #critical role adjacent #d&d #dnd stuff #also like :#spoilers for the #Lost Mine of Phandelver #I guess ?#LMOP

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neuroborreliosis · 11 months ago

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the night before last, i added cefdinir 300mg to my antibiotic regimen. i'm now taking that, plus bactrim 160mg, twice a day each. i'm still taking all the other stuff.

i feel sick. i always feel sick, but i feel even more low-energy these last few days. the nausea from the antibiotics surprisingly hasn't been too debilitating, but another side effect has emerged and proven somewhat unforgiving. i noticed that i'm extremely irritated most of the time. little things have been pissing me off, like someone leaving a mess in the sink, or someone walking past the tv while jules and i watch rupaul. little things like that. like someone forgetting to wipe down the stove after cooking. normally, i'm neurotic. normally, i'm anxious about cleanliness and messy kitchens trigger my ocd. probably because i used to get punished for leaving messes as a child. probably because i had it pounded into me that you clean up after yourself, right away, every time, or else. but i'm not normally so outward about it. it's like i've got a short fuse that keeps getting shorter.

yesterday, i was so annoyed by the mere presence of other people that i had to go upstairs to take a bath, to be alone. the sound of multiple conversations happening at once was grinding at me. it's cold upstairs, since we usually only have the heat on in the basement to save money. but i brought my space heater and my himalayan salt lamp into the bathhroom, plugged them in, ran the bath water. added hibiscus epsom salts, let it get full of hot water and got in. i added a rose petal bath bomb to the water. the bath bomb and the salts were gifted to me by violet, who waas preparing to move and couldn't use them in time.

i brought my book into the bath and just read for a long while, relaxing into steamy precious solitude. i'm reading a memoir by Suleika Jaouad called "Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted" about her experience as a young adult with leukemia. it's pretty intense, but it's also super cathartic to read of other young peoples' experiences with debilitating illness. it makes me feel both grateful for what i have, and less alone in my suffering.

i'm so grateful that i've been able to read lately. the memoir is the second consecutive book i've read in just a few weeks. whenever i'm not able to rest as much as i need to, my fatigue and brain fog get so bad that i can barely read, let alone write. i think because i've been able to rest, pace myself, and not overdo activity (thanks, stable living situation!) i actually have some mental energy stored away that i can use to read, and to write, and even to draw/paint a little! i haven't had this happen in a very long time. it makes me feel less like a useless sick fuck. i get to do some of the things i hold dearest.

i stayed in the bath for hours, i think over 4 hours, adding more hot water whenever it started to get lukewarm. i read for a long while, then i thought about how frustrated i was by how frustrated i feel, and i called my mom. she's a nurse, so she knows about these things. she seemed to think it made sense that an intense antibiotic regimen would lead to mental difficulty, considering it would destroy my gut biome, and as we know, gut health is strongly correlated with mental well-being. we talked about my health, she asked if i've been pooping (sorry this gets gross, but it's a part of my everyday reality, so i'm going to talk about it) and i told her yes, i pooped today, but before that it had been three days. three days is better than five or six or seven, which is often how long i go between bowel movements. but it's still not great. i still have to plunge after every shit, because they're so hard. my shit is so hard that it literally tears open my butthole every time i go, so i have these really painful and itchy hemorrhoids that never have time to heal fully before they're exacerbated by the next bowel movement. the other day, i got some hemorrhoid cream, but it made the itching so horribly intense that i kept scratching - the digging scratch, the really deep scratch - every time i went to pee just to try to get some relief. i stopped using the cream. my mom thinks i'm probably allergic to one of its ingredients.

while we're talking about poop, i'll recount possibly one of the sweetest things dillon has ever done for me. yesterday, early in the day, i took a big ass shit. i went to go get the plunger from upstairs, to bring it down to the basement bathroom. when i got back downstairs, dillon asked if he could see my poop. i knee-jerk responded, "no!" but then i thought about it, and i agreed. he wanted to make sure there was no blood or worms or anything really bad in my stool, he wanted to make sure nothing more than really bad constipation was happening. i know this seems weird, but it's honestly one of the cutest things a partner has ever done for me. that's real love right there. and spoiler: he still loves me after seeing my monster poop.

after about three hours in the bath, dillon came to check on me. he hung out for a while, sitting on the toilet telling me how cute and hot i was. i said "i'm in my element. i never wanna get out" and he responded, "so don't!" as he was leaving to go back downstairs i said "do we still have any annie's mac n cheese?" and he said he would check. about an hour later, i came downstairs all squeaky clean - except for my hair, which is so tangled and i did not have the energy to deal with that - and dillon was at the stove, making me a whole box of mac n cheese for myself!! so cute. so gay. i love him.

i'm feeling the mental exhaustion come on, so i will stop writing here. but i'll keep coming back for updates! maybe later today, but more likely i'll update again tomorrow.

#lyme disease #lyme #lymie #spoonie #chronic illness #sick #sickness #lyme diaries #digestive problems #creative writing #diary #journal #writing

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sassylady1103 · 2 years ago

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Feral

I may have made a huge mistake.

It’s been a week or so since I found the Pawn Shop and started transferring everything to the basement to set up shop. It was going so well…maybe too well. I got careless, I guess, and didn’t keep an eye out like I should. So,the worst happened. I got bit by a feral ghoul.

This was a few days ago, and at first, it seemed like nothing. I killed the ghoul and came right home to clean and bandage the bite. I made up some of Mama’s poultice she used on wounds in the Vault. It’s like a paste, so I applied that and made some tea.

I didn’t think much more of it and went back to organising the basement and even made a couple more trips, being extra vigilant, of course. But the night before last, out of nowhere, it hit me and I can’t seem to shake it.

It started with a headache. I get headaches sometimes, particularly if I forget to eat, but I couldn’t think of a reason for it. So, I grabbed a book and took it easy on the couch. Then I must have developed a high fever. I’m not sure how high it got. Our bio scanner is broken and I haven’t found the parts to fix it yet. But I suddenly noticed I was cold, which was odd because it was fairly nice outside. Then it progressed to body aches and chills, with me shaking under two blankets. And then…my skin started to feel like it was on fire and overly sensitive to touch.

If I’m being honest, I started to get very worried. Colleen is still not home from her trip, so it’s just me. I knew I had to figure out how to help myself, but my mind was in a complete fog. All I could think to do was increase my fluids and I made any tea I could possibly think would help.

This went on all day yesterday and so today, I remembered that bite. Why I didn’t think of it sooner….

The only thing is that it doesn’t look that bad. A little red, of course, but not like it’s gotten a raging infection. I’m wondering if these things transmit a virus. Maybe that’s how they came to be! We always thought it was from being irradiated, but what do we really know about them?

So is this my fate?

I’m leaving a note for Colleen to read this entry in case I die from this, or worse, become one of them. I’m still trying to find something that will reverse this – whatever this is – but I also have to make sure she knows what happened to me.

I never thought I’d die this young. Even with all the craziness and danger out there. I thought I’d live a long life and get to see everything I’m literally dying to see. Sorry, Col, pun was intended. As I sit here on the porch, listening to the water tumble over the rocks of our stream, and the wind blowing through the trees and feel the warmth of the sun on my face, I’m praying to anything, anyone to help me through this so I can overcome whatever this is.

But if I don’t, I want you to know, Colleen, how much I love you and that you have always been my best friend and the best sister anyone could have ever wanted. I’m sorry I wasn’t more careful. Please don’t blame yourself for leaving or not training me enough. This is all on me. I knew you wouldn’t want me to go into town. I knew I should never let my guard down, but I did. Just know that I love you. Don’t live with regrets…just live every day. For me.

Mags

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dailyaudiobiblechronological · 2 years ago

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3/10/2023 DAB Chronological Transcription

Numbers 35-36

Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible Chronological, I'm China. Today is the 10th day of March. Welcome. So great to be here with you today. Today is actually a really cool day. We are finishing the book of Numbers off today and I feel like it's only fitting to tell this joke slash pickup line that has crossed my mind every time I've said today we're reading the book of Numbers. So if you are single here, this is for you. This one's free. I was reading the book of Numbers and I realized I didn't have yours. There you go, you're welcome. I waited until we were done with the book so you only had to hear that once and now you can forget it forever or you can use it either way. There you go. Today we are finishing off with Numbers in chapters 35 to 36. Continuing on with Christian Standard Bible for this week.

Commentary:

So kind of an interesting place to end a book in my opinion. So we read majority of today's reading with cities for the Levites and then going into cities of refuge really for people who accidentally commit murder. But then if you purposely commit murder, well, it's not going to end very well for you. This is interesting because I remember we've read this before within different guidelines we've read about, okay, these ordinances have to be in place probably because this was happening a lot and there needed to be a system, rules or places to flee to be put into place. Like I've said before, you ever go somewhere and you see like a crazy thing that is posted, please don't pull the koi fish from the pond and you're like, okay, someone had to have done this because there's a sign that says don't do this. That's what I kind of imagining has been happening or maybe the Lord just knew, hey listen, I know my people and I know that sometimes there's going to be murder that is intentional and sometimes not intentional and here's the places that are safe for you to go to. So again, just kind of an interesting place to end the book of numbers. But again, the book of Numbers is literally things being recorded and the numbers being accounted for for people and tribes and where they were going and the specifics of things like very specific book for sure. And so this, this concludes the book of Numbers.

Prayer:

So Lord, I thank you for your word. I thank you that we are continuing to go through it and that we have I pray that we would have a better understanding of who you are and your nature. I pray that we'd be able to put aside the things that we are believing that aren't true, that you would show us the things that we have maybe inherited or things that we have projected from others onto you that just are not the true, the full trueness of who you are. So I pray that as we continue to read, that you would give us fresh perspective and eyes to see and ears to hear, and that we would truly know you deeper each and every single day. I thank you that we will. That is the truth. It's in your name we pray. Amen.

Announcements:

Dailyaudiobible.com is our website that is home base where you can see what's going on here in the community. So be sure to check that out. Yesterday I misspoke, the Beanies will be in stock next week, so you want to go look for them and they're not in stock yet. That was my fault. So sorry. But the hats are in stock, so be on the lookout for that. Wait for that announcement. If you have prayer requests and things that we as a community can come alongside of you and encourage you and pray for you, you can call in at 800-583-2164. Those get sent in and played at the end of every day's podcast. That is all for today. I'm China, I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer Line:

Hello, my DABC family. I recorded something before and then I've started listening to DAB. Hopefully I do this right this time. My name is Olivia Buchwald from the UK and I'm calling to say thank you for everyone who joined me in prayers for our country. My country, my dear, their country. In Nigeria, the elections have been held on the 25 February and the voice of the people was loud and clear but it wasn't heard. And because the elections were massively rigged the choice of the people wasn't. The elections were rigged. It was it was it was horrible. It is horrible. But the man who we hope for to become president has gone to court. The president elects, as far as I'm concerned, by the grace of God will not sit there for long. But at the end of the day I pray for the will of God to be done. When the Israelites were leaving the about to leave Egypt, Pharaoh fought. He fought even when they had left he still chased them. He fought. But then the God of war the court of justice rose up on their accounts and and showed them who he was and who he still is. And I believe in that God, that who is still alive today and I know that he will not live forsake or abandon us. Century has gone through a lot. Decades of bad governance, very rich country in whatever form. Human resources, economic resources, manpower, everything natural resources. But a few people have decided Nigeria will not move forward. And I know that Nigeria doesn't belong to them. So I place all our trust and our hope in the Lord and I say thank you for your prayers.

Hi Daily Audio Bible Chronological. This is Tiffany from New York. Mommy to Elijah. Quick update on Elijah. He's doing really well and growing fast. I just went back to work this week and that's hard enough as it is. But I really just would like to ask all of your prayers, because on Friday, a student that I had in my classroom that day, I found out the next day that he was killed tragically in a fire along with his father and three others. And so if you could just be praying and lifting up my school community and all the students in prayer as we process and navigate this tragic loss, it would mean so much. Thank you, family. I love you all and I'm praying for you all. God bless.

Hi, this is Amy calling from Wisconsin, and I am just calling for prayer for myself. I struggle with binge eating disorder, and food lately has been a stronghold over me, and I just feel sad and defeated. And my specific prayer request is that God shows me the way for somebody to help me. I'm finding it difficult to find support for what I need. Like, I'd love to find a mentor that's gone through this and it's on the other side. I've gone down the road of eating disorder therapist and nutritionist. I used to be on Jenny Craig, and what I liked about that is you could go in weekly for a check in and weigh in, and that's what I feel like I'm looking for, but maybe without that program, and I just feel like it's been hard to find support. I've never in all my years of dealing with us, met somebody that has been able to help me, that has gone through what I've gone through. And on the other side, I've gotten lots of help over the years, but nobody that I've ever met that successfully overcome the cheating disorder and could help mentor me through it. I thank everybody and I love listening to all the prayers and pray daily for everybody else that calls in. And I think this is a great community. So I thank you, everyone, for your prayers.

Hi, DABC Fam. This is Janel calling from Arizona. I just woke up and purposed in my heart to praise the Lord. I've been doing that all day. I'm getting tired right now. It's been hours and hours. But Emmy, I heard your call as I was transcribing today, and I'm just lifting you up. Lord, thank you for Emmy's call. Thank you for putting it on my heart to praise you for what you're doing. Give her eyes to see, Lord, what you can do, what you've already done. Even though it's not done yet, even though she doesn't see it, it's already done. She has this husband that you've given her, Lord. Let the counselor not be the one she looks to. Let your Holy Spirit be their counselor, Lord, and let her put out of her mind any options to separate or divorce. Let her trust you fully and completely and surrender all of her hopes, dreams, pain and suffering to you. Because, Lord, you take it all and you make something really beautiful. And I see it. I know it Lord. So fire Emmy up with that truth. Let her trust in You. Trust her husband to you. Holy Spirit fire him up. And Lord, we just worship you. We thank you for marriages. We thank you that they are a beautiful gift from you, and we celebrate them and we will honor them, Lord, in all that we say, do think and live. So praise you, Lord. Thank you, thank you. I worship you. In Jesus name I pray. Amen. Love you, Emmy. Love you, DAB.

Lord God, I just thank you for the Daily Audio Bible. I thank you for the blessing it has been in my life. I thank you, Lord God, that your word comes to me daily. I thank you for the vision that you have given Brian and his family with this Daily Audio Bible, and how you continue to refine this ministry and make it bigger and better and able to reach more people. I thank you, Lord, for each of these people that have called in requesting prayer, Lord God, knowing there's a community of believers that love the Lord, for the ones who are struggling in their marriage. Lord God, you are a God of restoration and reconciliation. That's what you do. And so I pray, Lord God, that you would heal these broken marriages. Intercede, Lord God, what you put together, let no man tear apart. Lord God, I thank you for our precious, precious children. I thank you that you entrusted us to care for them. And Lord, forgive us where we have fallen short, where we have not been a good steward of our children and instilling the value into them that you want us to.

Lord, forgive us where we have not been strong and stood against the world and have kind of caved to whatever the pressure of this world lays on us, and that we have not been an advocate, the best one that we can be for our children. Give us wisdom to raise our children in a way that brings you honor and glory and draws them to you. Lord, for those who are struggling with their health, I pray that you heal them in every way, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and that in all these answers, Lord God, to these requests that you would be glorified is in your most precious and holy name, I pray Jesus. Amen. Thank you.

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alreadyblondenow · 4 years ago

Photo

Box of crayons

“We were just two kids back then, but now we have two kids.”

Pairing: Jaehyun x female!reader Genre: SMUT, FLUFF, angst if you squint, childhood friends to lovers, growing up au, college au, to being married. WC: 3,522k Warnings: mentions of getting bullied during kindergarten, alcohol consumption on a college party, getting drunk, swearing, spitting, oral sex: male and female receiving, slight cum play, overstimulation, fingering, cream pie, unprotected sex, switching positions, smut scene is kind of long. A/N: I just want to post something.

Meant to be. You and Jaehyun are meant to be. But not as lovers, at least not yet. For now, you believe that you and Jaehyun are meant to be best friends.

It all started when you saw him starring at his blank paper, close to tears while other kids are teasing him for not having a box of crayons. You came in bolting and scaring those kids with your wrath and told Jaehyun, “stop being such a loser,” and shared with him your box of crayons.

On the next day, you forgot your colors at home and you felt like such a loser because everyone was busy drawing and coloring their works while you’re stuck with this great idea in your mind for your artwork.

“Stop being such a loser,” Jaehyun said and sat beside you to share his box of colors with you this time.

That was the day you learned, at a very young age, that boxes of crayons that has a hundred colors are meant to be shared. You and Jaehyun became friends starting that day and your friendship became like a box of crayons that you’re willing to share with each other.

As long as you both have some colors left on your box, you’re willing to share and got each other’s back.

Your friendship grew and grew during kindergarten, grade school, and high school. Until your families acknowledged your friendship and thought that maybe someday you’ll end up together. On top of that, you and Jaehyun grew up together and watch each other achieve different kinds of great things. May it be through sports, academics, or your hobbies.

“Hey loser,” you sat beside him during lunch break and distract him from doing his assignment.

“Hey yourself” he smirked and continued writing.

It was a busy day in school, the student body organization was busy the whole week because of prom. And to be honest, you are too, you were busy with your dress and you were busy looking for the perfect tie for Jaehyun. And now, you’re just waiting for him to pop the question and finally ask you to prom, which he will because you’re best friend right? So that made you very excited and giddy.

“What do you think of Yeri?” He asked out of nowhere. Smiling and playing with his pen while waiting for your answer but you already felt nervous.

“Popular- She bullied you when we were kids? Why?” you answered short and cold. And you wonder why the man beside you is smiling like a fool.

“I’m taking her to prom, she said yes. It was yesterday in the library, I talked to her, and went straight to the point. I made her blush like crazy...” he proudly told you the story of how he asked someone else to prom but your ears started ringing and you can't hear anything he says already. Turns out when you were busy looking for the perfect tie for him yesterday, he was busy asking the girl he likes to prom.

Everything shifted after prom, you and Jaehyun stopped talking to each other but he was too busy with his new girlfriend to notice that.

Graduation came and summer took place, you and Jaehyun are going to the same college but now you’re not sure if he still wanted the same thing because rumors are he and Yeri are so in love that they will go to the same college. It's useless to reach out if life will eventually separate you and Jaehyun might as well accept it.

As you enter college and made great new friends, you forgot about Jaehyun and focus on your studies during freshman year. But during the start of your sophomore year and while you were at the library to borrow a few books you bumped into him and were forced to catch up and had coffee for old times sake. He paid for the drinks and snacks, obviously, he was happy to see you but you looked uninterested.

And when he noticed that he’s probably taking too much of your time, he finally started a conversation. “I transferred just this semester and I was actually looking forward to seeing you. How are you?”

“Great- look I have to study and I can’t be out this long, uhm...” you started to gather your stuff and ramble. “Maybe some other time Jae,” you said and left with a fake smile. You almost feel bad about what you did but he can’t just waltz back into your life like he didn’t forget about you the moment he had a girlfriend. Now ex-girlfriend.

And as your college years continue, a catch-up never happened again. Although he tried so many times to take you out, but you always refuse and avoid him with all your might whenever you see him around the campus. He was so consistent with bringing you back to his life but you just don’t care anymore because truth be told you were hurt when he left you. Maybe this is revenge? Maybe not? But one thing is for sure, you got hurt and you hated him for it.

Now that you’re in your senior and everything is very stressful, you decided to go to this party with your friends and you were so unlucky that Jaehyun was there with his set of friends, busy playing beer pong and being loud as fuck. Of course he saw you and it halted his moves, he wanted to come say hi to you or hand you a drink but you will for sure pretend that he is invisible so he didn’t.

The party was fun. Thankfully, there were a lot of snacks and overflowing alcoholic beverages as well as non-alcoholic beverages. And because you suck at drinking games, you were downing tequilas and vodkas the whole night and that’s how you got batshit drunk that Jaehyun found you on the bathroom inside the empty tub, sleeping like a baby with a red cup in your hand.

He knew right then and there that he is responsible for you.

“Y/n, it’s Jae. Can you walk?” he asked while patting your head softly. But you can’t talk right now, so you just shook your head ‘no’ and reached for him. You knew that it’s him and you can hear him perfectly but your brain is not working right and the room can’t stop spinning. And you can’t believe you’re saying this but you’re happy that he’s here to take care of you.

You had this same feeling when you forgot your crayons back then and he came to rescue you from your little situation. He’s the same Jaehyun after all.

He offered to drive you back to your dorm which you accepted without any argument, you could’ve thanked him if only you can talk properly. He was so concerned to you that he cleared the backseat of his car and let you lie there comfortably with his jacket covering your legs. And when he brought you to your dorm safely and in one piece, he can't just leave you sleeping with your dirty clothes and helped you clean yourself with closed eyes. Everything was a challenge for him, especially when he had to close his eyes before he removes your blouse, pants, unclasp your bra and make you wear something comfortable to sleep.

Jaehyun then pats your head softly and told you “I’ll get going then, good night” before he leaves and thankfully, you were quick to stop him and you had enough energy to tell him to stay. He smiled so big and felt so happy that he wanted to scream and jump around your room. But he controlled himself and removed his shoes before he lies beside you in your comfortable bed.

To his shock, you swing your arms around him and pulled him closer to you for a tight embrace that he eventually returned. Caressing your back as he melts to your embrace and enjoys the happiness that he’s feeling right now.

“I’m sorry,” he started and planted a kiss on your forehead.

“I missed you. Never hurt me again like that, Jaehyun I swear-“

“Shhh. I will never do that to you again,” he said and hummed a song oh so softly until you fall asleep together and meet in each other’s dreams.

Just as you thought that your friendship will never come back, it did and this time it came back with love. But even though that this time love is around to make you two stick together, you never admitted your feelings to each other. You just let your actions do the talking. From him holding your hand during a scary Netflix movie, to you holding his hand while he drives. It was a simple and comfortable ‘relationship’ and you wish he would make it official.

But during a beautiful rainy day when you and Jaehyun decided to stay at your place and enjoy the cold bed weather together instead of going to the movies... everything suddenly fell into place.

“Mmm. Feels good” Jaehyun moaned as you concentrate on lining the face mask on his face properly. You’re sitting comfortably on top of him, your legs placed on both of his sides, while he’s leaning on your headboard with closed eyes, feeling so relaxed as you pamper him with skincare.

“Stop moaning, my dorm mates might think we're having sex,” you giggle and rake his hair away from his covered face. Holding it nicely as you lean closer to his chest to enjoy the comfort of being on top of him.

“Comfortable?” he asked and placed his hands on your back and made you lean on him completely. He started caressing your back and his soft touches are making you sleepy. You may not know, but he’s very much in love with you and that he will do everything just to keep you this time. He’s just waiting for the perfect time to admit his feelings to you and make everything official.

“Okay times up,” you excitedly said and started removing the face mask. While wiping his clear and handsome face, you see redness on his cheeks and his ears are turning red. You smiled and let out a giggle because that only means Jaehyun is flustered right now.

“Can you blame me? You’re so close to me and you’re literally on top of my dick. Don’t make fun of me if I get hard,” he said with a shy smile. Eyes turning into crescents and his cute dimples are deeper than ever. So instead of making him shy, you decided to make him nervous by grinding on him slowly but with enough pressure to make him in the mood and hard in no time.

His eyes went big when you rolled your hips once. Then it became even bigger when you rolled your hips a few times again which made him tensed up and hold his breath. “Stop it,” he said, but with a smile, that’s so big. He’s completely aware that you’re teasing him.

“But do you really want me to stop?” you said and put more effort into what you’re doing to him. Grinding slowly and deliciously, rolling your head and parting your lips. But the thing is, you’re not acting anymore. Jaehyun does feel so good right now and you’re liking what you started. And now that you’re letting out small moans, Jaehyun came close to you and caught your lips. Holding your head steady and kissing you like how he always wanted to.

“If you don’t stop now, I’ll really, really, really take advantage of this moment,” he said and went back to kissing you. A mixture of happiness and lust and you both feel like your hearts are about to burst because of what's happening right now. Kissing each other while smiling in between, kissing each other even more deeper by every second. It’s like your kisses were saying, ‘i love you’ ‘no, i love you more’. And as you two are busy with your lips, you felt Jaehyun’s hands slip inside your shirt and draw small circles on your skin while kissing as if he wanted you to lift your shirt but he’s just too shy to tell you. So without any warning, you stopped kissing him only to remove your shirt and remove your bra in front of him.

This may not be Jaehyun’s first time seeing a naked girl in front of him, but you sure did make him shy that he avoided looking at you. Flashing those dimples again, and witnessing his ears turn bright red. Brighter than ever. “Stop being shy and touch me,” you command and put your hand on his nape and reached for his other hand to place it on your shoulder. Giving him the freedom to touch you and roam his hand around your body as you continue to grind your clothed pussy on his hard dick.

Soon his hand finally started to move, touching your boobs first and kneading them slowly and carefully until Jaehyun became comfortable and confident to request that you remove your shorts too. Which you did gladly, so now you’re left with only your panties, kissing Jaehyun on the neck and making the man moan and feel good. Lifting his shirt without any hesitation and exposing his very hot body before your eyes and left kisses on it immediately.

Kisses after kisses you made him weak until you reach his sweat pants and pull it down together with his boxers brief so you can plant kisses on his happy trail, lower abdomen, and finally his hard cock. And there it is again, his handsome dimpled smile that shows his shyness. His cock twitched when your cold hands made contact with his cock, pumping it slowly while you watch him close his eyes and roll his head back. He watched you spit on his cock, and slowly put his whole size in your mouth. Gripping the sheets as he loses his mind, gripping the sheets as he breathes in and out heavily, letting out deep groans and making sweet moans.

“Y/n, s-stop. I’m about to cum,” he pleaded but you didn’t stop. Instead, you moved your head even faster, worked with your tongue, and made sure to never let him forget this moment that his whole cock is in your mouth for the first time.

After a few minutes of pleasure, Jaehyun came into your mouth and you witnessed him shaking and moaning on your bed with a satisfied smile. Still, with a sensitive body, you lay on top of him and teased him from cumming so soon. “You’re dead,” he said and smiled so sweetly at you. Encircling his arms around your body and kissing you a couple of times before he changed places with you. Finally, removing your panties and making you spread your legs for him, holding you with utmost care and kissing you with a mixture of love and lust.

If you tortured him earlier with your trail of kisses on his body, now it’s Jaehyun’s turn to torture you with him kissing your inner thighs oh so softly that it sends tingles straight to your spine and making your legs close automatically. “Uh-uh, I endured everything you did to me earlier,” he said, teasing you before he slides his fingers up and down your slit and finally licking it slowly. Spitting on your cunt just how you spit on his dick earlier and started pleasuring you with his hot tongue. Your hand automatically landed on his head, gripping his soft locks as he licks you slowly and torturing you with that damn wet muscle.

And when he finally made you cum and had his sweet revenge, he kissed you all over your body and put his entire weight on top of you. Letting your nipples brush on his chest and his hand soothe your sensitive body.

It was quiet for a moment, and only your heavy breaths can be heard in your room besides the air conditioning. He nibbles your earlobes and spreads kisses on your neck while slightly grinding his hard cock on your very wet pussy, waiting for you to calm down so he can finally fuck you.

“I was planning to take you out on a proper date first before we go to this stage. You just have to be so impatient, huh?” he shook his head in disbelief and kissed your lips again before he pulls away, putting both his hands on the sides of your head. His cock was very hard that you almost thought it wouldn’t fit, “Don’t worry you’re so wet. It will slide in easily” he said before he told you to line his cock so he can finally push in.

Slowly he stretches you out, rolling his head back and so are his eyes, while you on the other hand grip your boobs knead them as you feel Jaehyun’s cock slide in and out. “Jaehyun, deeper-“ you requested and let out a moan that made him gave in to your request. He adjusts your position, folded your knee before he spreads you open, thrusting deeper than before that his lower abdomen touches yours. Losing your mind whenever you take a peek at the motion of his hips while fucks you, Jaehyun was so hot as he moves his waist and kept his eyes only to you, this time he’s the one making you feel so shy.

“You like it this way? Deep and slow?" you only nod, “Wanna go another round after this?” you smiled and nod again, “Do you love me?”

And then he started thrusting faster and harder that your body was dragged on the mattress, and your boobs are bouncing up and down because of his hard thrust. Jaehyun came close to you for a kiss, still waiting for your answer. Although he knew already that you do love him by the way you kiss him, still he needed to hear it from you. “I want to hear it Y/n,” Jaehyun pleaded again and hold on to your waist tightly as he fucks you harder than before.

“I do Jae- fuck, slow down. Almost there” you croaked but its too late, Jaehyun’s thumb is on your clit, ready to torture you again and make you cum for the second time tonight.

Locking your legs around his waist as you enjoy your high and oversensitivity, you didn’t expect that you’d ask for more and beg for more the moment you hit your high that Jaehyun got more excited that he almost forgot to pull out. And when he did, he came on your pussy lips, watching his cum paint your wet folds and throbbing cunt. Of course the man above you isn’t satisfied with all the torture he did tonight, so he slides his fingers on your cunt, playing with his own cum and finger fucked you to give you another mind blowing orgasm.

The eventful bed weather ended with you and Jaehyun cuddling in your bed with his hands on your thigh and you’re wearing nothing but his black shirt and a pair of panties while he stays handsome and so irresistible in his boxers briefs.

“I promise to love you,” he whispered to you while drawing small and soft circles on your thighs, his eyes never left yours. “I promise to stay even though you’re so stubborn,” he added which made you giggle and happy.

FIVE YEARS LATER

During a very quiet night where Jaehyun’s hands are intertwined with yours and his embrace was tighter than ever because he was really tired from work, Jaehyun was having a cute dream. He dreamt about how you saved him from the bullies back when you were only innocent kids. He was smiling through his dream until he hears a cry. A cry of an infant and opened his eyes immediately. You stopped him from getting up and told him, “I got it Jae, go sleep. You’ve been up the whole day,”

Jaehyun has become a great provider for your small family now. And he was working hard to the bone that he barely gets enough sleep during weekdays. “Thank you,” murmured and closed his hands again. And after you put your babies to sleep again and went back to Jaehyun’s embrace, Jaehyun was deep in his sleep that he’s sleep talking and murmuring sweet nothings, the kind where you only hear whenever you have slow sex.

“We were just two kids back then, but now we have two kids. I will buy them boxes of boxes of crayons so bullies will never touch them,”

You giggle and pulled him closer. Hoping that he will ramble more because he’s so cute right now. “I love you,” you said, you weren’t expecting something in return but he responded.

“I just realized I never thanked you for sharing your crayons with me back then, thank you” he said and opened his eyes and went on top of you to kiss you sincerely. His wife. “I love you”

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anonymousfiction211 · 4 years ago

Text

Hancuffed together Chapter 3: ‘Free’

Summary: Loki and you were hancuffed together, because the team was sick of the two fo you not getting along. Today they come finally back from a mission, setting you ‘free’ from Loki. Word count: 2.579 words

Warnings: Smut, dubious consent, knifeplay, praise A/N: I wrote another chapter, hope you like it. If you have any ideas, suggestions or comments, please let me know :)!

Click here for chatper 1 Click here for chapter 2

To say you were physically tired would be an understatement. Loki had you in a tight grip, still asleep. He had woken you two times that night to ‘play with you’ as he liked to put it. He was breaking you down. Each time you put up less of a fight and he was starting to push your boundaries. The truth is, you kind of loved what he was doing to your body. It was intense, even painful sometimes, but the pleasure was well worth it. His personality sadly hadn’t changed. He was still as arrogant, egotistic, moody, and snarky as he had always been.

You shook Loki awake, who just grumbled grumpily at you. ‘I’m hungry’ you said. He turned around to lay on his back, eyes still closed. ‘Sounds like a you-problem’ he replied. You sat up straight and tugged a few times at the cuffs. Loki sighed but got up with you. The two of you were eating breakfast in silence. Even tough you were fixing your eyes on your eggs, you felt Loki’s gaze boring into you. You were startled when the rest of the team loudly made their entrance. ‘Tony, you owe me 10 bucks’ Steve said. ‘Ho, ho, there is still time’ Tony replied. ‘So, how has the lovely couple been doing for the past two days?’ he mused. You both glared at Tony who put his hands up in defence ‘Let me rephrase, how are the two of you doing?’ he quickly said.

‘Fine’ you said irritated at Tony and Loki just nodded. ‘How was the mission?’ Loki asked. Natasha quickly explained that they were staking out and tracking some people of Hydra, but hadn’t had much luck. You were waiting impatiently until she was done. ‘So, can we take these off now?’ you asked holding up the cuffs. ‘Sure’ Steve said, motioning for Tony to take them off. ‘How do we know it worked?’ Thor asked them. Everyone looked at the two of you. ‘We’ve come to an understanding’ Loki replied for the both of you. A big smile appeared on Thor’s face ‘I say we keep them together for this day. To be sure they truly improved their behaviour’. If you could murder people by glaring at them, you had just murdered Thor. Before you could protest Loki had already agreed. If you disagreed know, they surely wouldn’t believe the two of you. ‘Can we just take them off for half an hour? So, I can take a shower?’ you asked. After the group had a quick discussion they agreed. But only if you and Loki would willingly put the cuffs back on after half an hour. If not, the two of you were on house arrest together for the rest of the month.

After you were free, even if it was for a short amount of time, you quickly walked to your room and locked the door. You got rid of your clothes and jumped into the shower. It felt good to have some alone time. After a while there was a knock on the door ‘You have 10 minutes left’ Tony said. ‘Just one more day, you can do this’ you whispered to yourself. You got out of the shower and dried yourself off. You walked back to the bedroom to get some clothes out of your closet. That’s when you saw a dark green bustier on the bed with a matching thong. There was a note next to it which elegantly spelled your name. You opened the note: See you in 10 minutes, kitten – L. There was no way you were wearing that. He could be such an asshole sometimes. You were wondering how he even got in here. You checked the door, but it was still locked. It donned on you that the both of you had your powers back. And this must be Loki’s passive aggressive way of telling you that he could go and come as he pleases.

You were absolutely furious at Loki. But two could play it this game. You got dressed and instead of the green lingerie you chose your red bra and thong. If things did get out of hand, and you had a feeling they will, he will be pissed at you for wearing his brother’s colours. After you got dressed you walked back to the living room, where Tony was already waiting with the cuffs. He had an amused smile on his face. Loki entered shortly after you, having a blank expression on his face. Tony cuffed the two of you back together and the rest of the team went about there day. You had to be honest, cuffed together with Loki was awkward at first, but now that the team was here it was a whole lot more uncomfortable.

The two of you settled down on the couch. You both were reading a book, but this time you both had different books and you were wearing more clothes than the last time Loki ‘wanted to read’. After a while Steve wanted to play a boardgame. At first you didn’t want to play, but Loki convinced you that it would be good to show the rest of the team you indeed got along. Thor and Clint joined you and you had to admit you had fun. Loki was friendly, relaxed and funny. You wondered why he wasn’t like that all the time or why you were the only person he didn’t treat like that. After dinner the whole team decided to watch a movie. You really wanted to go to bed, but would only do that once you were free.

You felt someone shaking your shoulder. You woke up and realized that you had fallen asleep during the movie. You blamed Loki for keeping you up all night. The most embarrassing thing is that you fell asleep on his shoulder. The rest of the team, except Tony, were already gone. Tony handed Loki the key and walked out of the living room. Loki grinned at you ‘Don’t for a second that when we’re not cuffed together that you’re free off me’. You sighed ‘Can’t we just leave these days for what they were?’ Loki seemed to ponder over the question, and while you were waiting for him to respond you realized, you didn’t know what response you wanted. You were holding your breath, waiting for him to answer you, which he took a long time doing. He uncuffed the two of you. You rubbed your wrist, it felt good to be free. Loki shot you a wicked grin ‘No, you are mine’

Your breath hitched and you got up, making your way back to your bedroom. To your surprise Loki wasn’t following you. You closed the door behind you, but knew he would be able to enter when he wanted to. You were startled when you heard a low voice right next to your ear ‘Going somewhere, kitten?’. You weren’t proud of it but shrieked a little. You were spun around and now facing Loki, who was towering over you with his dominant figure. ‘Or did you just forget what you agreed to yesterday?’ he purred. His eyes were sparkling full of mischief. ‘I- I said those things because you made me, I didn’t mean that’ you began to argue. ‘I think you did, you’re just too ashamed to admit it’ Loki said while smiling wickedly. You opened your mouth to tell him to get lost, but he grabbed you and slid his tongue inside of your mouth. You were getting lost in the kiss, the fight almost left you.

Then you realized you had your powers. You pushed him off you and immediately raised a shield around yourself. You thought Loki would be angry, but he seemed to be amused. A green fire bolt appeared in his hand and that’s when you realized, he also had his powers back. He shot the green bolt at you, making your shield crumble. ‘This isn’t fair’ you half yelled at him. He smile only widened, he knew it wasn’t. Your magical nature was healing, while his was that of a warrior. He was trained to fight, you were trained to help and aid. He grabbed you by your waist. You tried to form a magic bolt of your own, but when Loki bit down your neck, you lost your concentration and the bolt disappeared from your hands. He threw you down the bed. You tried to scramble away from him, but an invisible force tied your hands to the headboard. You were struggling against the invisible bonds, but they only tightened around you. ‘Stop struggling, kitten. You know you want this’ Loki sighed. ‘I don’t. Stop!’ you said to him. One of his eyebrows shot up ‘Really? You didn’t put up much of a fight’ he said. ‘I literally put a shield around me’ you argued. He just smirked at you ‘One of your weakest types of shields and you haven’t tried to paralyze me or anything. So, like I said you didn’t really fight me. We both know you want this’

With a wave of his hand Loki made all your regular clothes disappear, leaving you in nothing but your lingerie. Your red lingerie. You hadn’t seen anyone going from amused to furious so fast. The bonds on your hands tightened. Loki wasn’t saying anything to you, but his face made you absolutely terrified. You wanted to make him angry, but now that he was you felt like you made a dangerous mistake. In an instant Loki conjured up a knife and held it to your throat. ‘Looks like someone has been a very bad girl’ he growled in your ear. You started to panic, not daring to move an inch. ‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry’ you whispered while fighting back tears. Loki was sliding the knife against the length of your throat. ‘If you’re so sorry, why do it in the first place?’ he asked you. You really wished Loki wasn’t the God of Lies right now. But since he was, you decided to just be honest. ‘I wanted to make you mad’ you said meekly. Loki laughed darkly ‘Well, you have succeeded’

‘I’m s- sorry’ you began to sob. ‘Since you’re new at this and you seem to understand the gravity of your mistake, I will let you off easy’ he purred. His hand grabbed your hair and he pulled hard, making you bare your throat to him. ‘But let me be clear, don’t let it happen again’ he said. ‘Yes’ you replied. He let go of your hair and you relaxed a bit. You felt the tip of the dagger against your throat, which made you tense up again. ‘Now, stay very still or this is going to be a very painful experience’ he commanded you. His blade travelled downwards over your chest, between your breasts. It slid effortlessly through your bra and your breast sprung free. You tried to keep your breathing even, but were startled at how sharp the knife actually was. Loki smirked when he saw your breasts and started to slide the knife around to play with them. Still extremely scared you couldn’t help that tears were running over your cheeks. When Loki looked up at you his expression changed, and you would almost say he was looking concerned.

With his other hand he strokes the tears from your face. ‘Sssh, there’s no need for that darling. You’re doing great so far. Just relax and trust me’ he told you with a soothing voice. Like it was the easiest thing to do right now. You did notice that the pressure of the knife slightly decreased. Loki was sliding the knife up and down your stomach, right above your panties. You took a deep breath and relaxed as much as you could. ‘That’s it, just submit to me’ he purred. Loki slowly cut through the sides of your panties. The sight was somehow quite erotic. The fabric fell from you and Loki withdrew the knife. ‘You did really well, kitten’ he praised you. Loki spread your legs further and placed himself in between them. The invisible bonds faltered, and you laid your hands on his chest. He gave you a smile, which you thought looked quite genuine.

He bent down to kiss you. It started out slow, but he got hungrier and started to kiss you faster. You enjoyed the way his lips felt on yours and how he tasted. You felt his hardened cock nudge at your entrance. You involuntarily bucked your hips, trying to get him inside of you. Loki chuckled darkly against your lips ‘I knew it’ he said in between his kisses. You felt him slowly pushing inside of you, making you moan very loud. Loki had left your mouth and was kissing you up and down your neck. You felt him smile against your skin when you moaned. He started to thrust in and out of you. He stopped kissing you and sat up straight. He was quick to put one of his legs over his shoulder, giving him a better angle. With every moan you made he thrusted faster inside of you. You heard him starting to mutter things under his breath, but you were too far gone to register what he was saying. His hand sought out your clit and you cried from pleasure when he started to stroke it lightly. ‘Please, Loki please make me cum’ you begged him. A little bit surprised that the words left your mouth before you could think about it. Loki seemed to be very pleased with your reaction and puts more pressure on your clit. He himself started to moan and you knew he was as close as you are. After a few more thrusts you walls clenched around his cock and you came hard. It triggered Loki’s own orgasm and you felt his seed spilled inside of you.

Loki pulled out of you and cleaned the both of you up with a hand gesture. That was an upside of Loki having his magic back you thought. He shimmered himself a pair of pyjama pants and laid down in your bed. You just stared at him ‘You’re staying?’ you asked him. He laid on his back, a hand behind his head, looking up at you. ‘Of course, I am’ he said, like you were stupid to even think otherwise. ‘I do suggest you wear something tonight, or you won’t be getting any sleep’ he purred. Not really sure how to get him out of your bed, you decided to let him sleep in your bed for this one time. You grabbed your own pyjama from underneath your pillow. It existed of a pair of black shorts and a red top. You were staring at the top and back at Loki. He was having an amused look on his face, wondering what you were going to do. After you put on the shorts you still were holding the red top. Loki cocked an eyebrow, giving you a ‘really?’-look. When you saw it you quickly threw the top on the ground and got under the blankets with him. He pulled you close so your head was on his chest. ‘Good girl’ he whispered. You snuggled closer to him when he said that, hearing him chuckle. He started to stroke your back and play with your hair, making you fall asleep fast.

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chocominnie · 3 years ago

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One Last Time 06 — Pjm. (M)

⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader

⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst

⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…

⇢ Song : xxxxx

⇢ Word Count : 3k

⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!

⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?

‘‘ I swear I am going to have someone beat your ass Park Jimin!’’

‘‘ It’s not my fucking fault! I broke up with her but you lead her to the apartment knowing she’ll follow!’‘

‘‘ Damn it Jimin im going to kick your ass!’‘

Your eyes pop open just in time to see Jungkook on-top of Jimin hitting him repeatedly on the face while Jimin manages to push him off of him and begin his fist fight against him. He straddles Jungkook to the floor and punches are thrown left and right. Now the sudden headache of seeing the two brothers fight has began in your head and you cannot stand hearing the groaning and yelling between them. Bringing your hand up to signal them to stop, you realize they don’t even know you’ve awakened.

Jungkook on the other hand is not having it so he throws Jimin off of him harshly making Jimin groan. The way he grabs Jimin’s collar with venom fast strength finally gives you the courage to yell out to them.

‘‘ Stop! Damn it, you two are like literal fucking teenagers. Act your age!”

The both of them turn their heads toward you slowly. Jungkook drops his fist, which was going to connect with Jimin’s face. You take a good look at them. Freshly bruised from each-other. Great.

‘‘ You think fighting is going to solve this problem huh? Get over here now.” You say, eyebrows furrowed in anger.

Jungkook gives Jimin a death glare before rushing to your side and feeling your forehead. You slap his hand away and pull him down by his shirt only for him to recieve a harsh slap to the forehead.

‘‘ Shit!” He stumbles back and rubs his forehead. He shoots you a glare, wanting to yell at you but doesn’t. You motion for Jimin to come to you too. He raises his eyebrows in amusement.

‘‘ I don’t think it’s necessary for you to do that..” He says, as if your death glare towards him isn’t enough to tell him you aren’t joking whatsoever.

He gets the memo when you disregard his comments before hanging his head low and bending down a little to your height. One slap against the forehead and two across the wrists.

‘‘ That’s for you fighting He was only looking out for me. The last two were for having a psychotic girlfriend who almost killed me. Look at my wrist!’‘

You hold them out to see two I.V’s, one for blood transfusion and the other a regular for nutrients on your right wrist. Both of them bandaged up which does need to be changed because of the old blood.

‘‘ I know and I’m sorry. I didn’t know she would be this upset.’‘ Jimin says, hanging his head low. Jungkook rolls his eyes at him out of annoyance.

‘‘ Whatever. I already called my lawyer for your case. Since Isabel tried to attempt murder to you, you will win this case for sure.��‘ He proudly leans against the wall hoping to atleast crack a smile from you.

You don’t smile though. The last thing you need is another scandal. If this were to make the news and blogs right now then it could be a bad thing. You’ve just started your modeling career again and right now would be the worst time to have something like that.

Jimin leans on the wall with his hands in his pockets, still avoiding locking eyes with you which is something he usually does. Something tells you that he’s hiding something. Something that you just can’t put your finger on.

‘‘ The police will come shortly for witness statements and your statement. Then they’ll call for a court date as soon as possible.’‘ Jimin’s voice low, illuminating with a hint of sadness.

Out of curiosity you want to say something more. To ask him whats going on and why he’s acting rather like this. It’s really not like him. He’s hiding something for sure and you just cannot put your finger on it. You just agree and pull out your phone. A missed call from Ryan. You try texting her and she almost always responds immediately. This time she doesn’t. What’s really going on?

You don’t know but Ryan took it upon herself to pay Isabel a visit. Usually visitors aren’t allowed for people in holding but with a little sweet talk of hers she got to get atleast 10 minutes to talk. That’s all she needs. When it comes to you, her bestfriend, she never messes around. Hearing the news from Jungkook yesterday she almost went luncatic. Throwing things at him, calling his brother every disrespectful name in the book. Oh she hates him now for sure.

Jungkook had to stop her from going over to the hospital to beat his ass into a bloody pulp for causing you pain and getting together with that crazy girl just to break up with her. Ryan was heated.

But now she can take this heat and serve some to Isabel right now. She walks with confidence into the room. Nothing and nobody can stop her and if they even try, she’ll chew them up and spit them out. Catching a glimpise of Isabel sitting at the table with her hands cuffed and security next to her, Ryan shoots her a devious glare.

‘‘ What brings you here? I expected my boyfr-’‘

A harsh slam from her hands hit the table as she bends a little to her seated level, ‘‘ He’ not your fucking boyfriend. You were lucky I wasn’t there to beat your fucking ass.”

The guard tenses up at the sounds and sudden movements. Ryan notices, and decides to take her seat to calm down before she’s the one sitting behind the jail bars too.

‘‘ Ryan.. I thought we were friends?’‘ She frowns, pouting her lips while fake wiping tears away.

Ryan scoffs,shaking her head ever so slowly with a devilish grin on her face. “ We aren’t. Don’t let me catch you un-attended without your manager or body guard.. Isabel.’’

Isabel laughs one of her evil laughs, throwing her head back then coming back up, “ Oh how cute. Is this a threat from little ol’ you? Me and Jimin were doing just fine before your bestfriend had decided to enter his life again. I’m not the only bad guy here. She should know boundaries for taken men. Ex’s aren’t supposed to be firendly and lovey dovey. Spending nights and going everywhere with each other. Especially when one’s a famous idol with another idol girlfriend. Do I make myself clear?”

“ Maybe you should take that up with your hoe of a boyfriend. He’s the one who can’t leave her alone.” She yells, inches away from Isabel’s face. The two stare at each other long and hard. Isabel is no match for Ryan though.

The guard clears his throat to break the two’s glares. The tension is thick in the air.

“ If you ever touch yn again, I’ll make sure you’re the one in the hospital this time around.”

‘‘ You’ll all see. I’ll win this court case. Trust me… there’s things you do not know.”

Ryan rolls her eyes, strutting her way out the room with the sound of her heels clicking right behind her. Consider the message recieved.

It’s been one week after the situation. In which in between those days you were dismissed from the hospital and have been in at Jimin’s house ever since. You didn’t want to be here. You want to be at home with your cat, Clara. Jungkook’s been going over to feed and play with her. Jimin kept pleading for you not to return home just yet because it could be a danger to you. It makes sense. You never know what Isabel has up her sleeve.

So you’ve been sitting here doing the same old thing everyday. Eat, watch movies and netflix tv shows, sleep, and repeat.

Jimin would come in and out of his home studio to check in on you. He still has to work on producing and singing his songs. He’d bring the food and your medicine he prepared per usual, kiss your forehead, and go right back out to producing his highly anticipated album.

It all seems fake to you. Something is off. Something is not being told to you. You can feel it in your gut but can’t put a finger on it.

‘‘ This is so cliche.’‘ You murmur to yourself, switching the flat-screen T.V off.

And as if on cue Jimin comes inside your- well his room with a glass of water and prescribed pain killers for you. The slight smile on his face makes you want to smile but you don’t.

‘‘ Smile for ocne yn. Do you not like staying here?’‘ He says, sitting next to you on the side of the bed and places the glass in your hands.

You furrow your eyebrows at him, taking the two pills out of his palm. “ No.. but be honest with me Jimin okay?”

His face turns a quick shade of pink then pale as if you had said the wrong choice of words at the wrong time. As if he had seen a ghost at this very moment. That’s not a good sign at all.

‘‘ Are you.. hiding something from me?’‘

The atmosphere is thick and silence fills the room. You don’t say anything and he doesn’t either. Your eyes meet his and for once they don’t pull away first.

Jimin doesn’t know how to break it to you though. It’s now or never.

‘‘ She will never leave me.”

You bite your lip hard, “ What do you mean?”

“ That she said that she’d do everything to ruin our relationship if we continue to persue one. She’d spready rumors about you to Dispatch. Make a scene whenver you’re near me. Anything she can do, she will do it.”

You don’t know how to take this all in. You knew Isabel was possesive but not this possesive. The thought of her doing things on purpose for you to make everyone hate you makes you want to cry. To just bawl your eyes out right here right now. You can’t.. you won’t do it.

You won’t give in because thats what she wants. To make you cry. To ruin your reputation and work. Jimin came back into your life and of course you don’t know what to do or how to deal with it. But this is what you wanted right? You’ve been longing for you and him to get a second chance. It’s you. You’re the one who’s been putting things off and not letting things go with the flow. Maybe he came back to you because he realized how wrong he was for cheating on you. For leaving you behind. For not seeing things for truly how it is.

You knew Isabel was bad luck from the beginning. Now is the time to try and take back what was originally yours. That will hurt her more than ever.

“ She needs to have a reality check. Not everything revolves around her.”

‘‘ I agree. Putting her behind bars might give her a reality check. It should serve her right for harming people.” Jimin sighs.

The silence is thick. You both don’t know what to say and it’s sure as hell awkward more than ever right now. Until that silence breaks.

‘‘ I feel like you aren’t being your true self to me. If we are getting things out now.”

His sudden comment makes you lift your head up from playing with the comforter. “ What do you mean?’’

‘‘ You.. don’t want to take actions on what you feel, say, or want to do with or about me. It’s killing me inside.”

He’s right. You do try to push your feelings aside no matter what the cause is. It’s just you trying to not set yourself up for hearbreak again. You do want him. You do want everything to do with him. Considering the things that happened in the past, it’s no doubt theres a fence guarding your heart from intruders.

You exhale out heavily, “ Im just.. scared.’’

‘‘ Of? “

‘‘ Being hurt again.”

Dead silence again. This time he’s the one trying to come up with words to redirect your view of him. Yes, he broke your heart in the worst way possible. He wants you to see he’s changed.

Jimin bites his lip, voice shaky when he begins talking again. ‘‘ How can I show you that i’m not the same anymore. Im not I promise you. I want you to see I have changed. I know it’s my fault. I destroyed you but let me fix it.”

It’s all come down to this. You’ve wanted this and now is the chance to get it. Now is the chance to have what was once yours. But the feeling of doubt had taken its course on you at the worst time.

‘‘ Jimin.. how do I know that for sure?’‘ You say, unintentionally fluttering your eyes at him. To you it’s to prevent from letting tears fall.

Jimin see’s it as that specific thing you used to do when you wanted him. When you craved him and would drop hints. To be completely honest, you do crave him. You do want him. Make-up sex was something you two used to do often. It was your toxic way of saying im sorry.

Somehow you want to put that toxic thing into action right now. As fucked up as it is, that’s how you two know you’re sorry towards each other. Actions speak louder than words.

He closes his eyes for a quick second before clenching his jaw to contain himself. Your weak spot.

‘‘ Stop doing that. Unless you want to start something you don’t want to finish.”

You smile just a little, hoping he’d get the memo. “ What if I do want to start and finish it..”

As if a car alarm went off, Jimin’s eyes pop back open with a suprised look. That’s the last thing he’d thought he’d be hearing from you. “ Are you sure about that? I mean we don’t have t-”

You lean in closer to where you guys are inches apart, his lips softly rubbing against yours. “ I’m all for it.”

Within seconds, Jimin’s shirt is removed off of you only revealing your blue panties which have became a little soaked with your wetness. He takes in the scent of you before his mouth connects with your thighs, slightly sucking to leave bruises on you.

‘‘ Jimin.. don’t tease me.” You sigh, laying fully down to spread your legs even more. He hums against your skin making you catch chills up and down your spine.

‘‘ That’s my specialty baby. You know that.” He trails a kiss with each word all the way down to your core where he dips a finger inside. You tense up attempting to close your legs. He doesn’t allow it, spreading them open harshly again.

‘’ Jimin-’‘ You barely utter before he begins to move his fingers in and out of you slowly. You let out a whine to try and make him go faster but it doesn’t work.

He comes up to your mouth and plants a wet, sloppy kiss. “ No whining. You’re gonna get what you want. Just relax baby.”

Is all he tells you before he goes back down to your core to tend to your desires.

The first lick between your legs is ever so gentle. Too gentle for you right now considering that you want release badly and Jimin knew exactly that. He opens his mouth and swirls his tongue up and down your slit. A groan leaves his mouth once he gets a taste of you which sends a vibration to your sensitive bud.

Each time his tongue laps against you your body jerked and shook but that only makes his tongue go faster. Sending you into a moaning and groaning mess as you tug on his hair.

“Mmh you even taste the same like always.” He moans with a smirk.

“Jimin please-” you cry out, locking your fingers into his hair when a finger is inserted into your dripping wet hole.

‘‘ No whining babygirl.’‘ His voice gentle as ever when he removes the finger inside of you making you pout a little. But that pout soon turned into your eyes becoming wide when he starts to take off his shirt, then grey sweatpants, then his underwear where his thick cock springs up.

Your eyes can’t leave his body. God it’s been a while. He looks pretty damn good. You wan’t to take all of his length in your mouth right now. To hear him praise you about how good your mouth feels against him. God you want it right now.

He gives it a few strokes before walking over to you. Just before hovering over you, he gives you a passionate kiss while lifting up your legs and positioning them to his liking. Missionary.

The tip of him pokes at the entrance of you, teasing in and out. Soon enough he enters you slowly making both of you moan together.

You still wrap and fit around his member smug as ever, and he could not believe it. The feeling of familiarity of being inside you sends him into a moaning mess with each stroke. You can’t contain your moans and screams. He feels way too good.

Jimin begins to deep-stroke you by pulling all the way out and slamming back in. You scream his name out in pleasure as your nails scratch up his toned back. Wet sounds fill the room with him picking up his pace. You take a glimpse of him only to admire his figure right now. Forehead forming sweat beads while he groans and moans biting his plump pink lips.

Your breathing becomes faster when that familiar feeling soon starts to take over. You turn your head to the side and let out a string of moans. Jimin isn’t having that though. His hand grabs your face gently and makes you make eye contact with him. Your legs start shaking as your head tilts back moans getting more faster. You finally let out one last one in sync with him, his hot sperm shoots inside of you.

Jimin pulls out, breathing heavily and collapses ontop of you. You let out a small grunt with the sudden extra body upon you, then giggle at him when he lays his head lays against your chest. This is what you wanted. He’s true. He’s sorry.

‘’ I love you.”

That word surprises you. You weren’t prepared for it. Somehow though, you enjoy the fact that he’s said it to you. Love. Jimin’s love. Your love.

‘’ I love you much more Jimin.’’

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hwascripts · 4 years ago

Text

Domestic life with Hawks (Keigo)

Desc: What it’s like being married to Hawks, living with him, my own personal headcanons and how he is as a husband overall

TW// Swearing, very brief mention of Hawks’ childhood trauma (you’ll miss it if you blink kinda thing)

oh my god I have not posted a headcanon in over 2 months- let’s hope this makes up for it

Masterlist

-Let me just get the ball rolling and say this man will tease you 25/8. He 100% uses his feathers to snatch things out of your hands, or he’ll move every piece of furniture a few inches so that you’re confused but not suspicious.

“Keigo was this table here before?”

“Yeah babe, it’s been there since we first bought it”

“Strange...I could of sworn it was closer to the right”

-Little shit can barely hold back his chuckles as he watches you knock into everything like a baby deer.

-Aside from teasing you relentlessly I don’t think he would ever pull any seriously harmful pranks- he hates when you’re angry with him.

-Because of how busy he is being the number 2 hero neither of you get to go on as many dates as you want. Dates with Hawks usually only happen once a month- twice if you’re lucky.

-But it’s okay because Hawks is the type of husband that won’t ever let you feel forgotten.

-Expect him to fly by your office while you’re in a meeting because he does it so often that your co-workers place bets on when he’s going to pop by next.

- He’s definitely flown into the window before

-Aside from ambushing you at work, he’ll send different flowers to your office all the time with a little note attached explaining the meaning.

-He’s the type of husband who can read you like a book, you cannot get ANYTHING past this man.

“Babe I know you’re mad about me taking all of your left shoes and making you late to work”

“How the fuck-“

“I’ve interrogated class A villains for years, reading you is a walk in the park”

-No but for real it’s scary how quick he is to catch onto your feelings, it’s like a sixth sense. You could be having a bad day at work and suddenly:

Message from Kei❤️💍: Why don’t we go out for dinner tonight?

-Man his perceptive abilities are god tier.

-He’s the type of husband that quietly comforts you by letting you cry on his shoulder while he holds you. Hawks is great at smooth talking, but Keigo genuinely has no idea how to verbally comfort you.

-He feels like he can completely let go of the Hawks persona when he’s around you. He’s not “Pro-Hero Hawks” when he’s alone with you, he’s just regular Keigo.

-And he’s a very trusting husband because if he can let go of that persona and be vulnerable self around you, then he has no reason to have even the slightest bit of doubt.

-Oh you thought he was protective when he was your boyfriend? get ready for “mother hen Keigo” after the two of you get married.

-He has so many enemies and now that you’re his official other half he needs to increase your security- he would hate himself if he allowed you to get in harms way.

-Of course he knows you have boundaries- he would never want to make you feel overwhelmed. He’ll just ask the hero’s patrolling your area to report to him if there’s anything suspicious.

-Now that we’ve gone over what he’s like as a husband, let’s talk about the process of moving in with him.

-Let’s be honest, he won’t feel confident enough to ask you to move in with him until you’ve been together for at least 4-5 years.

-He needs to know that you’re here to stay before taking such a big step with you. Don’t be surprised that he’s asking you to move in with him on the day he proposes.

-Hawks lives a fast paced life, never having someone who stuck around for more than a few years. He’s hesitant to propose because in the back of his mind he fears you’ll leave him too.

-Once you say yes and agree to move in with him, he starts to panic a little.

-His penthouse apartment feels so empty because he’s never had the time or patience to even personalize it- he’s always busy working, why should he care?

-The logical side of his brain makes him realize that the two of you will make it feel like a real home.

-Once the day came around he helped pack all your belongings and he just marveled at all your interests- civilians had the free time to have interests whereas he barely had the time to rest.

-He packs each of your belongings with care after analyzing each piece. You end up bonking him on the head because what the hell is taking so long?

-After all of your things are put away in your new shared home, he can’t help but grin a little bit. He was finally experiencing what a home is supposed to feel like.

-The first few months you need to stop him from buying ridiculous things.

“Keigo what the hell?! I said no stupid purchases!”

“An inflatable banana pool floater is not a stupid purchase”

-He has a nasty habit of throwing his dirty hero costume on your favourite rug whenever he gets home.

“Babe I’m sorry, I’ll stop doing it”

“You said that yesterday, and the day before!”

-Whenever he’s exhausted he’ll flop on top of you and ask you to rub the tender spots around his wings.

-Good luck getting him off you if he falls asleep while you rub his back, man sleeps like a damn boulder.

-You have to teach him how to make nutritious meals because this man will literally eat anything so long as it’s quick. As a hero he rarely has time to eat, so cooking good food is completely off the table for him.

-You end up cooking him filling lunches/dinners for him whenever he goes on patrol. He always gives you a sweet kiss as a thank you.

“The meals don’t taste as good whenever I leave without giving you a goodbye kiss”

-He’s actually got a habit of stroking your cheek whenever he gets home from patrol and you’re already asleep.

-Sometimes he forgets his wings are huge obstacles so don’t be surprised if he whacks you with them by accident. Asshole thinks it’s funny when you squeal.

-Nobody can say he doesn’t have a habit of texting you cute photos of dogs he sees while on patrol.

-He’s slowly working out of his habit of suddenly slipping away whenever you try to sneak hug him. His childhood trauma makes him react like that.

-He has the cutest habit of nuzzling your jaw with his nose before he flys off for work. Also has a habit of touching your waist when he passes by you

-The two of you will always cook breakfast together- no if’s, ands or buts.

-It’s one of your favourite domestic things to do with each other and it makes him feel like a normal couple.

-When he comes home from a rough day he immediately searches for you and gives you a “I’m back” kiss- no matter how bruised and battered he is, he’ll always give you a kiss when he returns home.

-When he gets into bed with you he’ll rest his head on your chest and listen to your heart beat, it reminds him that all of this is real and that you’re not just a figment of his imagination

-Patching him up and then kissing his wounds has become another daily ritual for the two of you- even if it’s just a pesky paper cut. He does the exact same for you.

-No matter what, the two of you always make time to talk about your day over coffee or tea. again, it makes Keigo feel like he’s in a normal relationship

-Call me boring for this one but cleaning up after dinner is a daily ritual for the two of you. He’ll fling soap bubbles at you and laugh as you chase him around and try to give him a soap beard.

-Listen, Keigo just wants to feel like a normal person. Doing normal household chores with you makes him so happy.

Hawks is a very loving husband who would die a thousand deaths for you. He’s not perfect but then again, no one is perfect.

He’s a filthy tease and a prankster but he’s one protective bastard that loves you to the moon and back.

10/10 would marry Hawks any day

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mqnasluvr · 4 years ago

Text

skinship headcanons | genshin impact

pairings; jean x gn!reader, amber x gn!reader, albedo x gn!reader

mentioned; kaeya, lisa, huffman, sucrose

warnings; suggestive themes ( jean ), all lowercase, not proofread

word count; 1.7k but half of it is albedo

jean

jean is not the touchiest person out there, but she does enjoy holding you. not too big on pda either; the most you’ll get out of her in public is maybe a quick smooch on the cheek and hand holding🛐 other than that, shes quite reserved.

her hugs are very comforting, but the first couple of times it was awkward on her part. she was used to giving barbara and klee hugs, but this was different. she wasn’t sure where to put her arms, and if anything she got more frustrated the more she hesitated.

once she grows accustomed to it, she’ll be fine. she enjoys the warmth and innocence of hugs, especially if you’re taller than her.

like i said, in public she isnt very touchy. while running errands she does keep you close though, and enjoys holding your hand more and anything.

behind closed doors shes a little bit bolder, but still shy overall. she’s not sure if she’s moving too fast for you so she waits until you initiate any type of physical contact, then takes it from there herself. it took her a long time before she managed to get the courage to kiss you tbh

one time when you two were in her office, amber walked in on you “distracting” jean from her work.

“y/n, i have to get back to work, please,” jean adverted her eyes from your gaze, embarrassed. she kept looking at the door, mentally asking herself if the door was locked or not and getting more nervous as the seconds passed.

you sat straddled on the young womans lap, her hands loosely placed on your hips. holding her face in your hands, you guided her face back to yours. “you work for way too long,” you frowned. “and i’m bored. there’s nothing to do in here.”

“the library is just across the hall—“

“if i read another book my brain will implode.” jean sighed and shook her head.

“please indulge in me just this once? please jean?” she stared at you blankly, her resolve quickly deteriorating. a couple of kisses couldn’t hurt, could it? she looked up at the clock in the corner of the room, then back at you.

sighing for the umpteenth time that day, she nodded. “just for a little while-“

before she could finish speaking, you pressed your lips to hers hurriedly, not wanting to waste any time. jean barely ever separated herself from her work, and refused to accept help from anyone else. you almost never had time alone with the acting grand master— you weren’t going to miss your chance now.

the kiss was not heated whatsoever, just very.. clumsy. and needy. on your part, at least. jean tried her best to slow you down, gripping your hips as her face heated up.

“jean, lisa needs you for somethi- oh,” amber nearly dropped the papers in her hands, immediately covering her eyes with it instead. you whipped your head around and stared at the girl wide-eyed before she spoke up again. “d-did i come at a bad time? i am so sorry, i’ll um. i’ll go now.”

jean couldnt look her in the eyes for WEEKS

it was painful

but overall, she likes physical affection, shes just nervous :,)

amber

amber LOVES touching you!! she’s 100% okay with pda. she isnt as forward as maybe kaeya or lisa, but she’s still rather bold. sometimes she forgets youre in public too, which ends up drawing a lot of attention to the both of you.

when you two go out on dates she is always touching you. hand in hand, arm around waist, whatever. theres always some type of physical contact, no matter what.

it’s so PAINFULLY obvious that you two are dating but for some reason she didn’t think that anyone knew ?? one time huffman saw yall kissing in an alleyway u really aren’t slick🤨

she loves cheek and forehead kisses, but likes receiving them more than giving really. shes a hyper one, and these kisses fluster her enough to make her quiet down. ( it’s so cute )

she often picks you up to hug you, spinning you both around in circles in an almost bone crushing hug. other than those times her hugs are really soft, but the energy is still there. ^^

have i mentioned that she is affectionate?? because she really is. she does respect your boundaries though, but if you feel uncomfortable you’re going to have to speak up on it because she won’t notice.

in private her clinginess is amplified by 10.

“i’m trying to cook, amber,” you mumbled, struggling to stir the paste sauce in the pot. all you were trying to do was make dinner for the two of you, but around 5 minutes ago she came up behind you and wrapped her arms around your arms and torso. you could feel her bury her face further into your back.

“mhm, and it smells really good too,” she hummed. you groaned, and she just giggled.

“i’ll be done in like, 20 minutes, amber. you can hug barron bunny in the meantime,” you tried to pry her arms off of you but she started whining.

“that’s too long.”

“no, it isnt,” you turned around with a spoonful of pasta sauce, motioning for her to open her mouth. she slurped the sauce and gave you a thumbs up.

“see? its good, right? well it wont get much better if you keep clinging to me so much,” she stayed quiet, but at least loosened her arms around you so that it was easier to move. you lightly patted her hand. “thank you.”

“whateverrr,” she drawled, and you couldnt help but laugh.

the pasta was in fact very good

in the end, shes the exact opposite of jean, and youll need to slow her down a lot :,)

albedo

as far as physical contact goes, it’s literally the last thing you will ever find on his mind. he’s too caught up with other things to think about physical affection

he does love you yes, but he doesnt show it through physical means. he does more gift giving, like when he sees a pretty flower that reminds him of you while going out to find starsilver shards.

if you want a hug or anything out of him you’re going to have to initiate it first— it’s foreign territory, and it’s not something he’s particularly interested in, so he doesnt feel the need to indulge in it

however the first time you two cuddle you can tell that he’s hooked. and he does a terrible job at hiding it.

now, he insists that you sit in his lap while he is taking notes because it “helps him focus better” and because “he’s so lonely”

we all know that aint true lmfao

he also really likes it when you play with his hair. please play with his hair, especially when you want him to get away from his studies. physical contact is completely foreign to him so something as simple as a scalp massage will make him melt 🛐

whenever he refuses to get away from his work, sucrose always asks you to step in because he wont listen to her

“y/n,” sucrose quietly approached you as you conversed with kaeya. you turned to her and nodded, albiet a bit concerned. sucrose never really needed you for anything, what did she need now that she couldn’t do herself?

kaeya took this as his sign to leave, but not before giving you a quick pat on the head. “yes, sucrose?” you said. “did something happen?”

she nodded meekly, watching kaeya walk off. a little bubble of guilt formed in her stomach from interrupting. “ah, i need your help with something. you see, mr albedo has been doing research non-stop on a new thing that has caught his eye since yesterday afternoon. i’ve tried to get him to put his research on pause, but,” she adjusted her glasses. “he doesn’t listen to me. i was hoping if you could maybe convince him to take care of himself?”

you pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed. he was doing it again. but you couldnt really blame him, he was terrible at keeping his hyperfixations under control. “i’ll take care of him, sucrose. don’t worry.”

she visibly relaxed at your words. sucrose flashed you a smile of gratitude, then waved and walked off to finish her errands in mondstadt.

—

it didn’t take him very long to notice your presence behind him. you were practically glaring at him, but there was no true anger behind it. wordlessly, albedo turned around in his chair and looked up at you.

you crossed your arms. “albedo,” you started, and it took everything in him not to sigh at the inevitable lecture.

“sucrose sent you, did she not?” he propped his arm up on the armrest of his chair, leaning his face into his hand as he gazed at you nonchalantly.

“of course she did. why aren’t you taking breaks?” he turned his chair back around, but you sat on the desk he was working at. you placed your hand on top of his papers and he shot a glare at you. it didnt phase you in the slightest.

“i have work to do. it’s much easier to do it all at once than stop inbetween.”

“have you at least been taking care of your basic needs? when was the last time you ate, or drank water?”

your eyes softened when he looked away.

hopping off of the desk, you grabbed his hand and pulled him away from his work ( gently, of course ). he barely protested.

you started muttering about how he needs to take better care of himself while pouring him a cup of water and making him a simple sandwich. he was a bit disappointed in himself for making you worry, and ate the food you gave him guiltily.

you pinched his cheek as he ate, giving it a light tug. he slapped your hand away playfully and a bit of the guilt he felt lifted when he heard your laugh. “i’m sorry you have to go through this for me.”

you shook your head. “you just need to learn how to stop yourself. you’re smart albedo, i’m sure you’ll figure it out in no time.”

he finished eating his food and, uncharacteristically, pulled you in for a hug. albedo rested his forehead against your shoulder, relaxing even further when you weaved your fingers through his hair.

“...i’m sorry, y/n.”

“stop apologizing.”

“okay. sorry. oh-”

you laughed.

#genshin impact #jean x reader #jean x reader genshin impact #jean x reader genshin #amber x reader #amber x reader genshin impact #genshin impact fanfic #albedo x reader #albedo x reader genshin #albedo x reader genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #is it obvious that i have a soft spot for albedo

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