#forget the box | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fumifooms · 6 months ago

Note

do you happen to have that page that talks about the beauty standards of each race?

Yeah sure. While scavenging pics for this I found this neat reddit compilation & chart & theory talk too. I had um, way more to say than I anticipated (I know you only wanted the one page. I have nothing to say for myself. Like most topics in Dunmeshi things snowball because they’re so interconnected. Mercy…) so, many races and observations are only mentioned near the bottom.

Beauty standards and race in Dungeon Meshi

Not pictured there’s also how elven society is harsh on visibly disabled people, and how the demon took away Mithrun’s silver eyes and ears to take away his pride. There’s also how Senshi might have fit in with the orcs more easily because of the dwarven wide body shape, and how they tend to have more body hair too I suppose. In the extra on orcs we see Senshi living with the orcs and he gets judged because of the hierarchy rather than his looks.

What is fashionable also differs from culture to culture, and there’s how tattoos only seem common with elves, though dwarves and others do also sometimes have some. They seem to not raise much brows, which makes sense since for many essentially they’re for professional (magical) purposes especially with elves. Gender roles also differ in type and importance, but generally they are similar to irl ones for the races we see. Elven society seems to be the least gendered, which would be an unsurprising logical outcome of having lesser sexual dimorphism aka they look more androgynous. Comparing fashions and gender roles and how they affect beauty standards would be a whole other compilation and conversation. Kui has great worldbuilding partially because she’s got such a good grasp on sociopolitics and geopolitics. History affects cultures and beauty standards greatly. Kui’s oneshot Distant Utopia was very eye opening on her way to worldbuild and the consideration she gives these things, I do really recommend reading it.

Out of the big 5, we know the least about gnomes, but their sheet does say both culture and region are similar to dwarves’ and they end up being confused together often, so we can imagine the beauty standards are similar to dwarves’ as well.

I wanted to touch on this in a post eventually, but how one daydream hour page said half-foots tended to be curvaceous like in the artwork below puzzled me for a long time, all the half-foot characters we see during canon are rather slender and lanky after all, Chil’s succubi also being more curvy than plump. Economics are for sure a factor in that I imagine, the half-foots characters we see are all implied to be some flavor of poor or malnourished, as are half-foots depicted as empoverished oppressed minorities in general. Even comparing the artwork with the half-foot sheet’s depicted average half-foot, the ones on the left seem bigger. Wouldn’t it make sense though, if unlike dwarves half-foots don’t have similar naturally wide bodies, yet due to idolizing dwarves they work towards having a similar body shape/type to emulate them?

It’s said half-foots tend to stick to pretty ethnically homogeneous regions (aka half-foots-only communities) unless they move to the big city with ambition to try and make it big (like Chilchuck and his wife & kids did), and that’s interesting imo because then that would mean that in a ton of half-foot communities, they rarely see or interact with dwarves whom they try to emulate. Of course, one thing about beauty standards is that when they get adopted, at one point it stops being "this is how dwarves look and so this is how half-foots should look" and just becomes "this is how half-foots should look", most people feel as though beauty standards aren’t learned but innate, so I figure the half-foots wouldn’t have any problem still seeking dwarvish traits when there are no dwarves around.

There’s also stuff you can glean here and there if you want to extrapolate more. Like how in the race swap artworks, Mickbell is only smiling in the dwarf portrait, and Rin’s elven portrait looks very close to her elven one- Rin who is stated to be beautiful in her profile blurb. Benichidori’s extra does teach us tallmen can definitely have harsh beauty standards, but also since the text portrays her as very dysmorphic that’s likely reflected in her thoughts to a much more intense degree than is common, not an accurate strict baseline to go off. Ah, Kabru’s blue eyes are also why he and his mother lived a rough life in Kabru’s hometown, but that seems to be regional. Good post here on the topic of Kabru’s blue eyes and ties to irl history. There’s a lot to be said about Kabru being a man that in many ways is close to elven beauty standards, and how that might have affected or been affected by his upbringing with elves + his persona as someone that can effortlessly charm most people. Marcille’s section here in this essay also goes into Marcille’s struggles to fit in with the ideal image of an elf.

Looking human

Also notable are beastkins and demihumans: Demihumans are all dehumanized which makes people treat them worse. So if you differ from the visual idea of "human" (an in-world subjective categorization just as much as demihuman is) most people do judge you negatively. Elves and dwarves get to fight about which type of human is considered the prettiest, but demihumans are below tallmen and half-foots, they are considered as simply below the beauty contest, incompatible with it.

Onis are perhaps the demihuman people we know of with the least cultural influence on the dunmeshi world, and with the least intensely different appearance than other demihumans—they seem to be technically categorized as human to people not from the eastern archipelago?— but even them are treated as lesser than human, treated as beasts to slain for reputation points or useful strength to have around and command. It’s said their "magnificient horns" and fangs are often shaven off when the oni lives in tallman towns, so you could easily make the argument that onis are denied the right to have their own beauty standards, having to conform to other people’s and going through mutilation to take away features they might otherwise have taken pride in. Inutade was bought by the Nakamotos from a dangerous sumo fighting ring that got one of Inutade’s tooth broken on her first and only fight, and kept as a low ranking servant ever since. Remember when I said different fashions existed in dunmeshi and how those could also affect beauty standards? Like the elves, if you look at the portraits pages which include a lot of characters that aren’t in the story you can see distinct cultures within the same races, for example one young elf is bald which is in sharp contrast with the usual elven long luscious hairstyles, and that’s especially true for onis I think. Maybe not only from different regions but different eras as well… They have a bit of population in the very north of the western continent, so I like to think some of the ogres live in very cold, maybe even subarctic or arctic conditions. The point I’m getting at here is that within a race, culture/ethnicity like with Kabru will also influence them it isn’t just tallmen as a whole, different communities will have differing beauty standards. The oni history blurb and third row first collumn portrait remind me of Mongolia (which historically was a lot of different nomadic communities with different cultural identities as well. Something something, the oni empire experienced a decline and then tallmen overpowered them, and now they’re governed and split apart by stronger social classes & slavers and the richness of culture was hurt for it especially if they have no real community left of their own), but obviously many of them are dressed and look rather japanese, makes sense considering living in/close to Wa, and first row second collumn portrait reminds me of ainus which again would be logical considering geographical placement, though I’m far from an expert. Interestingly, ainus are indigenous people both in Japan and Russia- Perhaps the northern western continent ogres are meant to be closer to Russia than Canada like I imagined? Ok tangent over.

The kobold sheet says they’re especially sought after as slaves because they’re "adorable", but locally in the western continent they’re repeatedly said to be seen more as ferocious and dangerous. The dehumanization is most apparent in the first comic below. The language barrier and conflicts no doubt worsen this by a lot, but I think it’d be hard to deny that their canine appearance makes the dehumanization worse. "They’re ferocious beasts, they’re demihumans, they can’t be communicated with". Most characters in Dungeon Meshi’s world are desensitized to slavery and most characters are prejudiced one way or another. Point being, kobolds are fully removed from human beauty standards, but no doubt for kobolds, other kobolds are more beautiful than humans are. They’re assumed to be an uncivilized bunch, but just like any other people they like to adorn themselves with nice clothes and jewelry and keep themselves clean and groomed; they too take care of their appearance and take pride in it.

And the orcs! This one we have the most contact with in canon, with not only there being foreigner characters from the ethnicity or hearsay of their homelands and culture but full on contact with a community. We get to see up close what they’re like and what they think, and of course in turn they’re our introduction to how demihumans are harshly looked down upon and seen as inferior, less human and thus less worth valuing and less dignified. It’s text that orcs are ugly to most humans and humans are ugly to most orcs. Since I judged they didn’t need accompanying explanation the pictures showing this are in the pictures dump at the top.

God forbid you sell vegetables to orcs my god- but then again they do basically mandate adventurers to kill any orcs they come across so yeah the world isn’t above that even a little bit.

So yes, my main point here is simply that orcs are yet another evidence of the physical ideal of "human" being an important beauty standard for human societies globally.

Izutsumi is our glimpse at how beastkins are treated in the world, and in Wa at least that’s ending up being caged and mistreated as part of a freak show. Izutsumi hates her appearance and wishes she could leave the feline part of herself behind to only be human. Interestingly, not that we have a lot of info on them so this is very much a take with a grain of salt situation, but there seems to be less stigma around artificial beastmen, those who can shapeshift at will. The main difference is of course appearance, that most of the time they simply look like average tattooed humans. Artificially creating humans is an illegal practice, and no doubt it’s not well regarded, but being able to hide that makes them less likely to be discriminated at any moment, or even just discriminated less intensely. Again, looking human is important, not only for belonging but for safety’s sake. Beauty standards rule the world with harsh hands.

Mermaids and fishmen

Ok we’re done now right? Right-! But wait… Wait…! Mermaids and fishmen are said to be demihumans too, special separate cases to the main three demihuman species however, which is also represented by how mermaids and fishmen both are in the Adventurer’s Bible chapter Monsters meanwhile ogres, kobolds and orcs are in the chapter World. They’re an interesting topic because they directly tackle this topic, not only in a meta way for the readers but also making characters themselves struggle to quantify their humanity with the goal of knowing wether they should be eaten or not, especially Chilchuck. Chilchuck’s "is it really just a matter of feelings?" mini arc.

The party asking themselves "Should we eat this?" is very common, and often they end up playing a little loose on morality, like eating the red dragon’s meat despite it having digested Falin. Not unsimilarly Marcille freaks out a little over the vegetables they harvested having been grown with fertilizer, aka largely human poo. Half of the motivation of "should we eat this perhaps sentient creature" is out of consideration and compassion, but more strongly and more often, the characters struggle with a sense of taboo at eating something too closely related to humans. Even, feel uncomfortable because of the deepseated impression that eating it would dirty them in some way. Cannibalism is an interesting and relevant topic in many ways, but what I want to mention is how there’s the more or less universal belief that committing cannibalism inherently taints you as a person and turns you more monstrous, morally but also literally depending on some myths such as w*ndigos and onis in some cases, like in Touge Oni. Marcille and Izutsumi both express a fear of eating monsters turning them monstrous. Maybe this is part of what Laios was hoping for, honestly. There are two fears here, if eating a demihuman monster constitutes as cannibalism or not, and so, will eating it taint you because it’s a human, or will eating it taint you because it’s a monster? You are what you eat, until it’s a little too literal. You morally are the means by which you get your food, and you physically are the result of your nutrition. Dungeon meshi manages to mix an exploration of humanity with the theme of food because our relationship to food is very deep and complex, psychological as much as physiological.

In the end, the characters sort of shrug and accept that they’ll never quite understand the world of mermaids and fishmen and how they operate, and what that means about them. Laios is the one always challenging these notions other characters take for granted, it’s not obvious to Laios why people are softer on mammals than other animals and plants, it’s not obvious to Laios why people would be afraid of eating a monster just because it’s a monster, it’s not obvious to Laios why some food is gross to Marcille but not fish testicles, it’s not obvious to Laios why you should immediately regard orcs and kobolds badly.

"Cows are probably closer to humans [aka closer to being human] than fishmen, though they’re clearly intelligent", dehumanization to lessen empathy towards them to be able to eat them. Meanwhile, mermaids seemingly have a less noticeable "civilization" or intelligence, they hunt in groups like fishmen, but they don’t use tools and such, they feel more primal and similarly instinct driven, and yet… Do they attract sympathy more? Mammals, humans, is it because of their nature or because of their appearance?

Both the nature and appearance of fish are ones people don’t typically sympathize with. "Fish don’t feel pain", "goldfish only have 5 seconds of memory", "it’s okay to keep fish in completely empty bowls too small for them until they die from it", so many lies and misconceptions exist that make people less considerate of them. The average lifespan of a goldfish is 10-15 years, the record is 43, but they’re not seen as lives that really matter, so a lot of goldfish die in a few weeks of bad aquarium conditions. There’s a lot of research on animals evolving to look cute and appealing to make some predators want to kill them less and parents want to care for them more, including humans. First good google research result gave me this credible short article on the topic. In Chilchuck’s weighing wether a fishman is far enough from being human or not to eat, "face is 100% fish" is his biggest argument for it being more acceptable. The face, the most important thing for empathy and recognition. The face, the decapitated fishman one that falls into his hands next chapter.

To quote @room-surprise: "Chilchuck can't explain why it's wrong to eat the merpeople, even though it's NOT complicated. But the problem is Chilchuck would have to accept and acknowledge that the merpeople might be people? And that's outside of the worldview he passively believes, so he can't just say that, because he doesn't think that's true. But that IS why he "feels" it's wrong. And it's all you'd need to say for Laios to understand! But it would require acknowledging that maybe the way they're treating and talking about the merpeople is wrong."

The idea of Chil not being able to grapple with how maybe some monsters are more humans than they seem, him who had been an advocate of half-foots rights, half-foots who get undermined and treated as inconsequential sacrifices… Grappling with how he could relate to the merpeople’s situation almost, and pulling away because it’s so existentially horrifying. I do not want to see myself into an hostile fish-faced warrior I can’t communicate with. In a way this also relates to Chilchuck being the only party member who doesn’t see Izutsumi as a cat in the relationship chart, the only one to treat her with full human dignity. He knows the struggle to be taken seriously, he knows being infantilized and he knows what it’s like to be treated as less than human.

Below, you will see Chilchuck draws the line of where they become not okay to eat as when "they already look like mermaids". Above, there’s speculation that the algae hair is partly to mimic "the mermaids’ beautiful female form". Is it because mermaids are their enemies and the ambiguity might give them extra seconds to attack or flee? Is it to trick adventurers instead? It’s striking to me that this is what works, with the adventurers. Sure the fishmen are intelligent, but explicitly here, what makes them no longer acceptable prey to Chilchuck is that they look close enough to a mermaid, close enough to human. Mermaids who of course themselves have this form to entice and seduce and charm the adventurers they prey on. Chilchuck considers the intelligence due to the tridents, but most of his internal debate centers around their appearance, and the image of a fishman skewered sickens him. The power of mimicry… Mimic being a beautiful human woman. Mimic being cute, babies being wired to make us feel protective and softened. Half-foots, sometimes pretending to be children for scams or help or avoiding trouble.

The mermaids are only concerned by their differences and not their similarities, and have no trouble treating the fishmen as food rather than peers. To an outside perspective like us, the audience, all these categorization of "more human" and "less human" between onis and orcs and elves and tallmen etc seem stupid and unfounded, but to the people living in Dungeon Meshi’s world, elves may as well be mermaids while onis are fishmen, not alike at all, unworthy of empathy and thus fine to eat.

Ultimately, Dungeon Meshi promotes unity. It’s about seeking to understand the unknown and the misunderstood, the dehumanized and the inhuman. It shows the good that comes from seeking to understand what you do not, even when that’s one another.

#Dungeon meshi #dunmeshi lore #Compilation #Ok… I think I didn’t forget anything. Feel free to point things out or discuss in comments and tags though #Delicious in dungeon #Ik i strayed a bit from the central topic but who knew beauty standards and discrimination went hand in hand /s #Ask me about my dunmeshi kobold oc……….. ask me about my dunmeshi ocs……..#Can we give body neutrality an amen #Tw racism #cw racism #The “what are you talking about Marcille. Senshi is handsome” gag has 2 layers then doesn’t it #Like obvi Marcille is noticing the difference between shapeshifter and og senshi rather than making a judgement #But the elf being *the* one to notice and say “Senshi looks more handsome than usual that’s weird??” may very well be an effect of living #with elven beauty standards yeah #Meta #I wanted to make a post on the half-foots body type thing and the oni mongolian coding and the chilchuck merman thing so #Three in one 🎵 why take the initiative when you can just wait for the tiniest opportunity #Chilchuck tims #Analysis #dunmeshi fishmen #It’s very interesting to think of how there being so many people *that* physically different affects politics and beauty standards #Mimics…. Pacing my room. Pondering. Mimics………#The burnout is over yippee #Ok but for reals though race is largely a social construct. Critical race theory good. Go read Distant Utopia by Ryoko Kui #‘Yeah sure.’ < person who thought she’d just be grabbing like 3 pics and had no clue she’d become hyperfocused for hours #The classic societal obsession for classifying and exaggerating physical traits into boxes of innate goodness vs evil…

294 notes · View notes

broareweabouttoviberightnow · 1 month ago

Note

I love your writing so much! I also love the Curtis bros and a little bit of low stakes angst, so, for a request I would love to see Ponyboy and Soda having a rare fight and Darry having to deal with them being absolute children while being super flabbergasted that they’re even fighting in the first place and trying to figure out what the heck is going on

OOOH LOVE this ask I will do my best!! fic under the cut!!

When Darry pulled up at the house to yellin' that damn near echoed down the block, he wasn't exactly surprised, per se. The boys were always yelling. It didn't matter if they were pleased or hacked off or dangerously close to tears. They didn't have what you might call volume control.

Darry threw the truck in park 'n killed the engine, listenin' carefully. If he was gonna have to go break up a fight he wanted at least some forewarnin'. He can pick out Pony's voice as it rises shrilly. Not a good sign. But he can't quite identify the second voice, or voices?, but if he had to guess, he would play his chips on Steve. He couldn't leave those two alone for five goddamn minutes without them tryin' to kill each other. He rests his head on the steerin' wheel for a moment, bone tired. But there was never any time to just be tired. So out he gets.

He climbs out, easin' the door shut behind him. He doesn't want to give his troublemakers any heads-up. If he had to pry them off one another at least he could deal with it right away instead of havin' to watch them shoot glares 'n jabs 'n ill-placed kicks under the table.

"Tell him to knock it off!" Pony's voice has hit an all-time high note, forget whinin', this was wailin'. The other person isn't yellin' yet, but they're gettin' there. Darry locks the truck, cocks his head. If he didn't know better he would say that it was-

"Soda! I can't believe you're takin' his side over this!" Soda? Now that was not what he had expected.

"Well if you stopped actin' like a brat-" The second Darry hears the word brat leave Soda's mouth he's up the steps before he can blink. Somethin' had to be seriously wrong. Brat was only ever used by Steve and at a high price every time.

Darry's got his hand on the knob but he hasn't quite twisted it when he hears Pony's shocked little gasp and then his vicious "Dropout."

When Darry opens the front door Soda is already on top of Ponyboy. For a moment he just stands there. They don't seem to notice at all. Pony shoves his hand hard into Soda's chest 'n Soda grabs a fist full of Pony's hair 'n yanks. Pony yowls and knees him in the stomach. Soda yelps 'n pins him down to the floor, jabbin' 'n scratchin' 'n not doin' any serious damage at all. Pony wriggles fiercely, manages to worm out from beneath Soda 'n scramble to his feet. He looks like he's seriously considerin' jumpin' back down on him with Darry grabs him by the back of the neck. Soda dives for Pony again and Darry snaps him by the bicep, forcibly keepin' them apart,

"What the hell has gotten into the two of you?" Pony registers shock for a moment, blinkin' up at Darry with big, wet eyes before he refocuses on Soda.

"Ask him. He's the one that jumped on me!" Darry turns to Soda, shakes him when he doesn't say anythin', just keeps on glarin' at Pony.

"Sodapop Curtis, what is goin' on here?" Soda turns his scowl on Darry, anger blazin' in his eyes. He only falters when Darry matches his stare, rattlin' him by the arm for good measure.

"He was bein' a brat." Soda mumbles 'n Darry releases him only to cuff him up the back of his head.

"Ow!"

"Don't call your brother that." Pony smirks 'n Darry rounds on him. "'N don't let me catch you lookin' smug, lil boy, I know better than to think you didn't have a hand in this."

"Aw, lay off him Darry." Soda kicks at the carpet and Darry whips back to him with a scoff, jaw open in bewilderment.

"Lay off? Soda I just yanked you off him!"

"That's different." Soda bats his eyes at Darry like he always does, hopin' for leeway 'n knowin' he was a pushover when it came to his first kid brother. "Pony was bein' an assh-"

"What the hell-" Darry heaves an exasperated sigh 'n Pony at least has the sense to stop while he's ahead. Out of the corner of his eye he catches Soda stick his tongue out. Pony lets out an indignant wail 'n is only stopped from resumin' their scrap by Darry's hand squeezin' the back of his neck.

"Glory God. I don't know what is wrong with you two today but I'm not dealin' with it. Ponyboy Michael, you go to your room. Sodapop Patrick, you go to mine. I don't want to hear a peep from either of you."

Both boys instantly start whinin'.

"But Darryyy-"

"C'mon Dar-"

"No sirree, I'm not hearin' it. You want to act like lil' kids I'm more than happy to treat you that way. Now not another word before I stick the both of you in corners, too."

Darry releases his grip on both of them, givin' a gentle shove down the hall. The second they're out of his grasp 'n around the corner Darry can hear the sound of a slap on bare skin 'n a shove that sends one of them careenin' into the wall.

"Darry!"

"If I need to escort your asses down that hall neither of you are goin' to like it!" He clenches his fists so hard his knuckles are white. Mercifully, he hears a muttered asshole 'n the respondin' bitch 'n both doors slam without any more fightin'. Glory god, they were gonna make him grey before he was twenty-five.

He sighs again, runs a hand up the back of his neck 'n finally realizes Steve has been standin' stock still in the living room the entire time, lookin' more than a little shell-shocked.

"You alright, kid?"Steve shakes his head to clear it, lookin' just as bewildered as Darry felt.

"Yeah? Yeah. I'm good."

"Am I right to guess you were involved in all this?"

"Uh, kinda? I wasn't fightin' or nothin'." He rubs his hands sheepishly back 'n forth on his jeans in a way Darry knows he picked up from him. "But, uh, I was teasin' the Ponykid. I didn't expect it to get ballistic or nothin'."

Darry sits down heavily at the table, exhausted. "We've talked about you ribbin' on Pony before, yeah?"

Steve bites at the inside of his lip. "Yeah, sorry Darry." Darry didn't mind the two of them goin' back 'n forth a bit. Privately, he thought Soda coddled him too much. Well. Normally. But Steve 'n Pony could never stop when they should. Their digs could turn into brawls before you could blink.

"It's alright. Somehow I don't think I can blame you for Soda jumpin' on the kid." Steve cracks a smile, still lookin' lost. "Tell you what, you get over there 'n wash those dishes 'n I'll call this one even."

Steve nods, ducks into the kitchen 'n flips on the tap. Darry scrubs a hand over his face, tryin' to find his head. Darry knew exactly how to break up a fight between Steve 'n Pony, or Dallas' 'n Steve. He had it down to a science how to navigate the fall out of Two makin' the wrong jokes to the wrong people. Hell, he could settle a fight between nearly any of his kid brothers with practiced ease in five minutes flat.

But Pony 'n Soda? God, they were their own entire world.

Darry remembered, back when they were kids, nothin' was worse than a true Soda/Pony beatdown. They just got each other better. So when they managed to get each other's goat, breakin' them up like steppin' in the middle of a shoot out. They were just as liable to turn on you as they were to go after the other.

There were very few things about how their relationships had changed Darry was grateful for, but if it had made Soda 'n Pony closer so Darry didn't have to deal with any of their fighting, well, he wouldn't lick a gift horse in the mouth.

Apparently, the universe thought things had been goin' too smoothly lately.

Darry sighs again, leaves Steve scrubbin' at the pan Darry had been dreadin' washin' all day. Small favors.

He hesitates in the hall, tryin' to decide which of the two boys to talk to first. He worries his lip, figures he better sit Pony down. He's got a naggin' feelin' that this has more to do with Soda 'n he wants to get one of them dealt with. Plus, bein' alone had a repentant effect on Soda. Pony could sit in a dark room for a week 'n come out more mad than he'd gone in.

Darry swears he got that particular vice from Dallas but it's more likely it came from Darry. They were the same brand of fool-headed stubborn sometimes.

Darry knocks lightly on the door and slips inside, schoolin' his features based on Pony's attitude. He's not surprised when he finds the kid knees up in his chest, forehead down. Darry softens, concedes, if only to himself. They were more similar than he admits, 'n he knows from experience, fightin' with Soda hurts worse than just about anythin'.

"Hey, kid." Pony lifts his head up miserably, he's not quite cryin' but he looks like it wouldn't take much to work him up to it.

"He hates me, Darry." Glory God it takes everythin' in him not to roll his eyes.

"No, he does not hate you." Darry plops down on the bed, nudgin' Pony over.

"Yes, he does!"

"Ponyboy, your brother does not hate you now hush." Darry snaps and Pony whimpers. Darry takes a deep breath. Pony feels things different. You gotta be gentler. Glory, when Soda wasn't takin' a chunk out of the kid he was far better at this than Darry.

"Now you hate me too!" And he dissolves into messy tears.

"Oh, baby," Sometimes Pony couldn't see the obvious through all the things he told himself in his head. Now, that was where Darry 'n Pony split. Darry was all ruthless practicality. Soda was where they met in the middle, he supposed. The perfect balance.

Darry cups a hand behind Pony's head and pulls him to his chest. He knows the kid must be feelin' particularly vulnerable when he doesn't protest at all.

"Wanna tell me what happened?" Darry asks after a long moment broken only by Pony's sniffles. Pony wipes a hand across his eyes and sniffs.

"Steve called me a baby and a tag-a-long and I said... somethin'... back 'n Soda got mad 'n told us to knock it off but we didn't 'n then he jumped on me." Darry grabs Pony gently by the shoulders, pullin' him away from his chest, 'n fixin' him with a look.

"Stop givin' me the Ponyboy special." The Ponyboy special was what they all called Pony's tendency to recall only the parts of a story that made him look good. "I know you must've said somethin' real nasty to Steve, 'n from what I heard, Soda was doin' a decent job of not yellin' until you kept pushin', kiddo."

Pony at least has the decency to look sheepish. "You heard that?"

"Yes, siree. Wanna explain to me what was goin' through that head a yours?" Pony worries at his lip, runs his hands back 'n forth over his knees in a way that gives Darry deja vu.

"Nothin', Darry. I wasn't thinkin'. I was just real mad at Steve for callin' me those things." Darry sighs, figures that's the closest he's gettin' to the truth.

"That was no reason to carry on that fight with your brother." Pony drops his chin to his chest 'n Darry uses a finger to gently lift his head til he's lookin' him in the eye. "I'm gonna need you to apologize to Soda 'n Steve when all's said 'n done, understand?"

Pony nods miserably 'n Darry presses a kiss to his hair. "Good, honey. I'm not mad, alright? 'N neither is Soda. Now, I want you to stay here until I let you out, savvy?"

Pony bobs his head 'n Darry squeezes his shoulder, standin'. "Love you, kid."

"Love you too, Dar." Darry eases the door shut and takes a steadin' breath. Soda rarely found himself in these predicaments. He'd get himself in trouble until the cows came home but always in the pursuit of a good time. When Soda fell for somethin' serious he fell hard.

Darry turns, puts his hand on the knob of his bedroom door 'n hears the sounds of Soda tryin' to muffle his own sobs. It nearly cracks his heart in two. 'N suddenly he remembers somethin' else about those fights from when they were kids: Soda fought like he smoked- never without a damn good reason.

Darry swings the door open 'n Soda jolts up, runnin' both hands across his face to wipe away the tears.

"Is Pony ok?" God, Soda was the best of them sometimes.

"Pony's fine. Just a lil' shook up." Soda crumbles to the bed, buries his head in his hands.

"Fuck. He's gonna think I hate him." Glory. Sometimes it was hard to tell where Soda ended 'n Pony began.

"He knows you don't." Darry walks to the bed side 'n sits, runnin' a hand up 'n down Soda's back.

"No, he don't." Soda whimpers 'n Darry sighs, enfoldin' him in a hug 'n pullin' him up beside him.

"Soda, if I know the two of you, you'll be right as rain by dinner. Pony'll bounce back. He's a resilient kid." Soda bites the inside of his cheek, shrugs a shoulder, looks generally unconvinced. "I want to hear about you right now, Pepsi."

"You don't gotta worry about me, Dar." Soda gets to his feet, paces once around the bed 'n back.

"Soda, don't lie to me. I'm not in the mood. It's my job to worry about you." Soda pauses by the foot 'n studies Darry with those piercin' honey headlights that can see straight through any of them. Apparently findin' Darry wasn't foolin' he sighs, drops back to the mattress.

"I'm sorry, Dar."

"I know, honey. Why don't you tell me what's buggin' you?" Soda opens his mouth 'n Darry cuts him off. "'N if you tell me nothin' I'm not gonna let you out of this room until next week." Soda shuts his mouth, pulls at a straw thread at the bottom of his DX shirt.

"Some guys from my old class dropped by the DX today." Darry lets out a low hiss of understandin'. Soda's year would be graduatin' before the end of the month.

Now, Soda was real good at actin' like he didn't care. He was a master at shruggin' off digs 'n laughin' off punches. If Soda decided the world would see him as just fine? Well, no one would ever know the difference. 'N Soda had decided everyone would see him as someone who didn't care he'd dropped out.

Just about the only person who didn't believe that routine was Darry.

"They were ribbin' about savin' up for caps 'n gowns 'n all that bullshit 'n... I dunno. 'N then I got off 'n came home 'n Pony 'n Steve were at it again 'n I just couldn't take it." Soda doesn't wait for Darry to offer, just collapses against his chest. "I just couldn't take the fightin' on top of it all. 'N I know he didn't mean it but then Pony called me a dropout 'n I-"

"Oh, Pepsi-Cola." Soda lets out a weak little sob at the nickname and Darry hauls him against his side. "I'm sorry."

Soda sits back up suddenly, scrubbin' tears away with blunt nails that leave red trails along his freckled cheeks. "It's fine! I mean I'm fine with it! I like workin' at the DX 'n I hated school because I'm too stupid for it 'n-"

"Sodapop Patrick you are not stupid. You hear me? I won't let anyone talk about you that way 'n I'm not gonna listen to it from you. You are smarter than I will ever be in all the ways it matters- you hear me? And sometimes... sometimes it's ok to not be fine."

Soda takes a big hiccupin' breath 'n looks at Darry with those big eyes that Darry would let him get away with murder for. "Ok." He sniffles 'n Darry gently wipes the last of his tears away. He's quiet for a long moment, just blinkin' at Darry. "You're allowed to not be tough all the time too."

God, Soda.

"Fine. We'll make a deal then. No more actin' like were tuff when we don't feel it, alright?" Soda smiles wetly, runs his sleeve under his nose.

"Deal."

"Good, now c'mere." Darry pulls him into a hug 'n Soda melts against him. Darry could have let him stay there forever, but Soda isn't one to be held still. He pulls back 'n runs his hands through his hair, pats at his pockets for his cigs.

"Can I go see Pony?" Darry ruffles his hair 'n smiles at him fondly.

"If Pony wants, yes." He doesn't know why he bothers. Pony would forgive Soda highway robbery 'n Soda would do anything' for that kid.

Darry drops one final kiss to Soda's temple 'n he peels out of the room 'n into Pony's, not botherin' to shut either door. Darry takes a deep breath, listens as Soda 'n Pony babble incoherent apologies over each other.

He ducks out of the room to give them more privacy 'n moves back down the hall. Steve's finished the dishes 'n is awkwardly shufflin' back 'n forth in the kitchen.

"Good job, Stevie." Darry pats him on the back 'n Steve lets out a sigh of relief. Soda 'n Pony tear back out, hootin' at some joke 'n Darry thanks his lucky stars he was right. Soda 'n Pony fall hard. But they always somehow manage to land on their feet.

"You ok, Superman?" Steve drops into a chair at the table as Darry kicks the stove on for dinner.

Darry turns 'n find Soda's sharp eyes already on him. "You know, Steve? A little tired, but I am." Soda grins, drops beside Steve 'n pulls a chair up beside him for Pony.

"Are you alright, Soda?" Darry leans back against the counter 'n watches the automatic of course! come 'n go in Soda's mouth.

"Not really, not right now. But... I think I will be."

68 notes · View notes