#ford is ultimately a kind and trusting person at the end of the say

[iowntheworldandyou]

Gravity falls au where bill convinces ford to keep working on the portal after fiddleford leaves by telling him a half truth that he only lied because his dimension is dying and he and his friends are scared and need a way out. Ford is sympathetic and agrees to help house them in his dimension and bill is like ���heh. Idiot is too naive.’

When the day comes the portal opens bill and his henchmaniacs are ready to cause havoc but ford is there with food and shock blankets and he starts enthusiastically greeting them and talking about sleeping arangements in his living room, asking if any of them have food restrictions ect. And everyone is so taken off guard they’re tucked into sleeping bags in fords living room eating a warm meal before they can resist

[s0lemnhypn0s]

(Warning for this post I'm half asleep so I might be incoherent or have disjointed topics. Bare with me, I'm trying to express my thoughts the best I can.)

(and WARNING! i discuss personal paranoias at one point during this, which include the topic of bugs and self harm)

"Billford is ironic we're shipping them ironically" "We don't actually want to see them together" "We don't think theyre a good pair" "its irreconciliably abusive" "its one sided"

ok I'm gonna put forward a take that might be poorly recieved: I think you all are misunderstanding Billford (And each character individually) and just reducing it to "bill abused ford" takes away so much of what makes their dynamic fascinating. And also claiming "Erm its a bit" while engaging in something you "recognize" as abuse only does a disservice to the topic of abuse and how it relates to the mentally ill (I will get into that later). You are treating the relationship as a joke and only acknowledging the abusive aspects when people come at you is just pretty scummy of you. Speaking as someone who experienced a near identical abusive relationship, where my paranoia was preyed upon, causing me to still suffer from the paranoia of being watched by them or that my abuser will eventually send someone after me.

In general, the existence of abuse is a complicated one and abuse is not a catch all, end all term. Not all abuse is built the same. Billford is undeniably abusive, but there is not a period after "abusive", are you picking up what I'm putting down. It's not just "Bill was exerting power over Ford and thats it"

Lets start with: We all recognize Ford is paranoid, but we don't seem to recognize Bill as paranoid in the exact same way, dare I say - Even more paranoid than Ford. I mean, ford got his "Trust no one" quote from Bill directly saying his rule of thumb for trusting people is to just trust no one. He doesn't trust others - He simply doesn't. And this is part of where Bill Cipher's manipulation of SPECIFICALLY Ford comes in.

Now I am going to speak from a personal anecdote of my experience with paranoia and delusions - Me, I will try to "safeguard" against my every little fear and belief that something will, undoubtedly, undeniably, be out to hurt me, and these safeguards are often extreme in nature. They don't make sense to the people around me, but they make sense to me. Sometimes they hurt the people around me. Sometimes, they hurt me. I believe this is the same with Bill Cipher himself. He is taking measures to make sure his worst fears do not come to pass. And because Bill is decidedly not human, only interacts with humans when he deems neccesary, those measures often take the form of something even more extreme than, idk, me shaving my head because I thought bug eggs were in my hair or trying to cut open my skin because I thought something was living in it. They take the form of something abusive (Which is also just... Something that happens with the mentally ill sometimes. I see you guys trying to separate our mental illness from our actions and claim "thats not making you do that". I see you.). Him trying to guard himself from something so terrible(facetious) as Ford's percieved betrayal ultimately becomes a self fufilling prophecy.

Not to mention, if you guys didn't notice. Bill without a doubt projects his own insecurities onto Ford. "I make you feel important" Ford makes Bill feel important. "No one loves you" He was ostracized in his dimension. "Who will miss you" He destroyed his entire home, nobody would mourn Bill, because they were all gone, long gone. "I'm sending someone to steal your eyes" Might be a stretch, but I look towards the silly straw poem "A different kind of eye doctor, who wants to make his patient blind" Obviously the use of "blind" here is metaphorical, but I feel its still in some ways applicable.

Bill very evidently experienced medical abuse and ostracization in Euclydia, something exceedingly common for those labeled as mad. (Which also brings me to the topic of people saying "I'm so glad they didn't make Bill a sympathetic villain in the book of bill" bc. Hi. I'm a guy thats experienced ostracization and medical staff forcibly medicating me in order to fix me. I think he is sympathetic actually). Not only that, Bill Cipher had a trillion years to fester in his resentment and his guilt, and you think that like. Didn't effect him at all. I really and truly beg to disagree.

Not only that: I think Bill felt a kinship with Ford. Ford was ostracized, he was betrayed by the world (and "betrayed" by his brother), he was regarded as a freak for what he was born with, just as Bill was regarded as a freak for his mutation in Euclydia. Bill thought Ford was just like him. Bill thought Ford would understand him, and furthermore would jump at the opportunity to burn the world down with him. And. to his credit. Ford does, in some capacity, understand him. As much as Ford could understand, with Bills lies within lies. Bill craves the intimacy and fears the touch. He uses fear to get Ford to love him, not only because he thinks it will safeguard him from what he fears most, but likely because it is all he knows, all he was taught. Love through fear. Our love is painful, but we only want to help. Pain in love is natural. It's right. It will only hurt a little. This is how you know we love you. He was shocked when Ford rejected him. He thought he did everything right. He had everything planned, for them to be together for eternity.

And bare in mind also that - Bill. Most evidently. Views himself as a monster. When Ford asks about what happened to his dimension, who destroyed it - Bill responds "A monster.", he says "Sixer, it would eat you alive" when Ford offers to help hunt it down. He lets his mask of jovial, mysterious mischief drop just slightly, and we understand just a little bit more of how he feels about the euclidean massacre, how he understands himself through his actions. And what he understands, is that this is just his nature. "I liberated my dimension, Stanford", a lie but not in the way you'd think. He lies, acting like what he did was intentional, as its the only way he could ascribe "reason" to what he did. It couldn't have been an accident. That is just how I am. It wasn't an accident, and I liberated them. (I wish I could go back.) And I come back to the idea of a self fufilling prophecy, because its again- That exactly. Bill decided this was all he could be, he did everything that would make him a "monster" after the accident that caused the euclidean massacre - And so, he was. A sick prognosis that he created and fufilled with his own two hands, he became the monster he and his home dimension envisioned him as.

Abuse is a complicated subject. What Bill did was abuse, yes, but I also distinctly believe it to be a case of abuse between two mentally ill people, one of which is so old, his hate his anger and his regrets, all are ancient and yet so fresh.

I feel another part of the problem is people are taking Bill at face value. Which is exactly what he wants to do because then you dont get at what hes doing all this for and why. You don't get past the exoskeleton to the tender flesh beneath. But stop taking what he says at face value. Read into it more. Analyze the triangle.

Also it might be controversial (hyperbole.) , but I do thing it means /something/ that during Ford's part of the book of bill, where Bill and Ford's relationship is recounted from his perspective, Bill is notably absent, whereas in the rest of the book, he is guiding us through it and constantly maintains a loud presence in it. You could interpret this in a lot of different ways I think, but the way I've chosen to interpret it is as a mix of shame, regret, and an unwillingness to revisit their past together. Perhaps even Bill having enough respect for Ford to not interject his telling of their story together, if you want to get real complicated about it. Paradoxal, if you will.

(Also I find the theraprism to be a most fucked "end" for Bill Cipher due to the medical abuse he experienced as a child. Something something, mad people can never escape the institutions which seek to "fix" them.)

anyway if you read through my mad sleep addled ramblings CONGRATS! i'm probably going to make edits and add to this when I wake up in the morning but i needed to get this out or id forget. billford is abusive but its way more complex than just... abuse. Abuse is a complex subject and it exists on a spectrum, for a lack of better words. and dont twist my words - That isn't saying "this is less bad abuse", this is saying "its complicated and just leaving it at abusive does their relationship a disservice"

[callipraxia]

(Note: Huh, it seems that @zephrunsimperium has been inspiring me to essay composition longer than I'd realized - just found this in my drafts. Not sure when I wrote it originally, but here it is)

This is a good elaboration on an idea I’ve seen around a few places, and there’s a lot of truth to it. It’s a fairly crucial insight into Stan’s character….

…so naturally, as I wrote my fun adventure AU that was supposed to be strictly about action with minimal depth, the dominant theme became a problem with part of this idea: specifically, what would have happened in the event of failure, of Ford being irretrievable for whatever reason. It’s fair enough to say that Stan in 1982, the Stan who started working on the Portal, really had nothing to lose except his own life…but that wasn’t the case for 2012 Stan. This is even shown in the time-passing montage in A Tale of Two Stans, where we watch Stan rapidly age up from 1982 to the show’s present day in a mirror: at one point, he has a shadowed but visible photograph of himself and Ford as children taped up beside said mirror, presumably as a reminder of purpose, but when the montage ends in the present day, it’s been replaced with a picture of Dipper and Mabel. His family members who, when he cranks up the machine, he *knows* are alive. His family members who ultimately hand him the third journal, making it seem he really couldn’t have done it all himself. His family members who, in the interests of his project in the basement, he’s directly and indirectly endangered that summer. Repeatedly.

I saw something else on tumblr a while back, where someone made a comment along the lines that Stan is pretty much Walter White (of Breaking Bad fame) seen through the looking-glass; they both do seriously dangerous, seriously illegal things and justify them by saying it was all for their families. There’s a degree of similarity between “trust me - everything I’ve worked for, everything I care about, it’s all for this family!” in “Not What He Seems” and the lines “what the hell is wrong with you?! We’re a family!” from “Ozymandias,” and it’s interesting that “NWHS” and “Ozymandias” are both acclaimed as some of the best stuff television has to offer. In the end, Walt and Stan even both perform a last dramatic gesture/series of gestures which results in death/something believed at the time to be similar to death, and they both seem to do so as part of attempts (of a sort, at least) to rectify situations they regret causing. The difference is, we ultimately believe Stan when he says he did it all for his family, whereas Walt himself ends up conceding, “I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it…I was alive” in BB’s series finale….

…kind of, if only a very small bit, like how, after saying he initially came up with the idea for the Mystery Shack because he had to pay Ford’s mortgage off somehow, Stan proudly but in passing notes that, “finally, I’d found something I was good at.”

Many, many, many years ago, I read an essay in another fandom (the essay was even older, circa 2003, I think) where a point made was “the mirror reverses what it reflects” but a sub-point was “the mirror also reflects what it reverses.” Stan wanted to rescue Ford because he wanted to make right what he he’d done wrong...but his behavior in Weirdmageddon 3 in particular underlines that it wasn't, unfortunately, totally disinterested behavior. He wanted to do the right thing (as he saw it)…but he also wanted recognition for it. This isn’t to say he’s a terrible person, of course, especially when compared to Walter “remarkably quick to adapt to the amount of homicide that goes with his new profession” White over here: Stan’s ultimately a heroic character. He's just not one we can ever be...completely comfortable with, I think, once we start thinking about it too much, because of how ordinary-human-level his flaws are. He doesn’t quite fit in the molds our brains are used to for a particular type of character. In my opinion, that’s also the genius of the character and the whole show, and why we’re still talking about them both near enough to eleven years after the finale.

I love them both to bits, but if Dipper or Ford had played the central role in the endgame, I think it would have probably weakened the show overall. They are clearly marked out as hero-protagonist types - they’re extraordinary people who regularly fall into extraordinary circumstances. When Ford and Dipper were driven to folly by a need for validation, it involved Bill Cipher, an unfathomably ancient, manipulative abomination against sanity; when Stan was so driven, on the other hand, it involved a snide comment about grammar, resentment about specific behaviors of a specific person, and his need for validation from his own family - issues, in other words, that could drive any of us ordinary folks to do something stupid in a moment of temper when the Line is just Hit. Stan didn’t make his tragic error of turning stubborn during the circle ritual because he wanted the world to acknowledge him as a Great Man, or to change history, or even to promote a Grand Cause. He did it because he had made huge personal sacrifices for specific people and wanted that acknowledged by those people. It’s not hard to imagine that he would have felt the same if he existed in a completely mundane show, one where he’d previously found Ford in a state of nervous collapse/on drugs/whatever and had proceeded to do what he had to do to get him psychiatric help while keeping up the payments on his mortgage - a story, in other words, that one could hear on the likes of Dr. Phil, and a story many of us have seen people go through some variant on at first hand. I would certainly be deeply, deeply tempted if offered an opportunity to know all the secrets of the universe - but on the whole, if I ever cause Great Harm to someone, it's far more likely to be over something far less grandiose. It is, realistically, infinitely more likely to be because I lost my temper at a bad time, when one relatively small slight proved to be the last straw that broke the camel's back and set me to yelling at someone I'd have done better to work with (or similar - perhaps not as immediate, but not doing X tomorrow because Person Y suggested it, one thing leading to another, etc. etc.). A sobering thought, as is the next one: on one hand, Stan - odd variant on the Everyman, in that he definitely has a distinctive personality, that he is - did get a chance to make it right once he realized he'd screwed up...but on the other, the price was high.

It takes a very special kind of strength to spend three decades working on something you can barely comprehend just to bring back someone who didn’t treat you as well as they should.

What kills me is just how uncertain everything would have been. Stan had frighteningly little information to go off of, yet staggeringly unshakable faith. The way he talks to himself while he’s working on it just twists my soul about because he has no idea what’s going to happen when he turns the portal on. He has no idea if Ford is even still alive and I think at this point, the idea of all his work being for nothing would actually destroy him.

Imagine if Ford didn’t come through the portal. The implication that you spent 30 years on something and it didn’t mean anything, that you probably killed the only person who ever believed in you because you’re just That Incompetent and they were all right about you, you were never going to amount to anything because you are the scum of the earth, you are nothing more than a Stan Co. knock off of the real thing and even though you deserve every bad thing that’s happened, it just hurts and the fact that no one cares makes it that much worse.

Ford calls Stan a hero, but I worry that that epithet is too vague to really impact him. Because sure, Stan may have untold trauma from living in the dregs of society, but Ford has blood splattered journals and a rivalry with a demon. That’s what heroes look like. They don’t look like tired old charlatans who run a tourist trap.

But strength - especially the kind of strength it must have required for Stan to even get up every morning - isn’t always flashy or even visible. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is continue to love when the world has given you absolutely no reason to.

[lilithsrecord]

𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖎𝖟𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖔𝖔𝖑

part 2

♱ 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞

outward appearance means nothing if your are unable to carry yourself with grace and confidence. it’s important to radiate an aura that is unique to u and is beautiful and enchanting to others. find your essence. are u an ethereal innocent angel or a bombshell femme fatale? Just by channeling in a sort of character in your demeanour can drastically change how other people view you. you might be wondering “hey this is a bit much just for school,” and ur right but it’s all fun at the end of the day

𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬

𝔣𝔢𝔪𝔪𝔢 𝔣𝔞𝔱𝔞𝔩𝔢:

femme fatale: noun

an attractive and seductive woman, especially one who is likely to cause distress or disaster to a man who becomes involved with her.

"a femme fatale who plays one man off against another in pursuit of money"

a femme fatale is a women who shows power through how well she can toy with a mans brain. in hindsight she might seem like a women catered to the male gaze due to the strong enchantment she has upon men, but do not be fooled. a femme fatale is a strong willed and powerful women who only caters to her own needs. she achieves her goals by seducing her pawns to use them to her own advantage. channeling in the characteristics of a femme fatale can make one feel powerful, sexy, and oh so alluring. to become a femme fatale you must ooze with seduction. femme fatale examples include gilda, from the movie “gilda”, jane smith from “mr. and mrs. smith, and amy dunne from “gone girl”.

feel powerful when you walk from one place to another. let other people stare at you while they feel intrigued by ur allure but never completely give them what they want.

make your appearance look bold and striking. be sexy. dress to show off what other people want for themselves. wear dark and luxurious colours. let your hair be free and voluptuous. a bold lip and sharp eye makeup brings attention to the most seductive parts of your face. a femme fatale is nothing without a striking appearance

have your voice sound like smooth whiskey. speak slow to captivate others. make sure your voice comes out prominent and clear. add a slight rasp into your voice. each word u speak should be carefully chosen. people should be addicted to hearing you speak. be sassy and smart but always with class.

smell expensive. pick a scent that exudes class. examples: black orchid by tom ford. mugler alien. good girl by carolina herrera.

a femme fatale makes sure to always get her way. don’t be afraid to use ur seductive quality’s to get what u want whether that is good grades or social status. [ however do not put urself in dangerous positions. please don’t sleep with a teacher lmao ]

𝔠𝔬𝔮𝔲𝔢𝔱𝔱𝔢

coquette: noun

a woman who flirts.

in my own definition a coquette to me is a girl who is delicate and radiates innocence. she is more commonly known as the girl next door or the pretty girl. people become attracted to this essence due to the childish ways of a coquette. though that sounds concerning, a coquette isn’t a women who tries to act like a child on purpose. she is just a women who is naturally sweet and innocent. they hold onto a childlike quality that the rest of us have lost and so desperately crave. the allure of the coquette is ultimately her adorableness. her demeanour is light hearted and youthful. no one feels the need to do her wrong because she is just too cute for any harm. she is an ingenue. examples of coquettes are lizzy grant, cat valentine from “victorious”, alice cullen from “twilight”, and marilyn monroe.

wear clothes that make u look cute. the coquette aesthetic has been around for quite a while. the main aspect of a coquette outfit is its innocently teasing nature. wear bright colours that compliment ur skin like a blush pink, bright reds, and pretty lilacs. make people around u appreciate ur innocent look but know that there imagination is running wild. the makeup for these looks are more natural and rely on the condition of ur actual skin. take good care of ur skin. have a set routine but remember that it’s completely okay if u have pimples! you can still be a pretty little coquette even with acne.

vanilla or any kind of sweet scents are a staple for the coquette essence. ariana grandes perfumes are perfect for making people mouths water for a sweet snack when u walk by. olympea by paco rabanne is my personal favourite.

be kind and sweet to people who deserve it. people need to see u as a sweet and innocent doll who can do no wrong. but don’t be afraid to be risky and be the complete opposite of that once in a while. the rare moments where u show ur femme fatale side will have people incredibly intrigued by you.

perfect your voice. your voice should sound pleasant like some sort of princess. make your voice sound higher but not ear screeching high. add a beautiful mix of air and softness to ur voice. a breathy voice is incredibly intoxicating and suits the coquette.

𝔭ê𝔩𝔢-𝔪ê𝔩𝔢

pêle-mêle: adverb

in a confused, rushed, or disorderly manner.

also known as the manic pixie dream girl, a pêle-mêle is the essence of a girl who is described as whimsical, eccentric and is quite literal the life of the party. though at first glance she’s all rainbows and sun shine, the shadow side of the pêle-mêle can be described as a tortured artist. her optimism is delightful. she is not afraid to take risks. she’s a mess but people can not help to be intrigued by her free spirited ways for she is a drug to people who crave adventure. examples of a pêle-mêle include ramona flowers from scott pilgrim vs the world, mia wallace from pulp fiction, harley quinn from the DC comics, and holly golighty from breakfast at tiffany’s.

don’t be afraid to take risks. risks and adventure is what the pêle-mêle lives off of. be brave. do things you are afraid to do. start small and work your way up like from riding that roller coaster your so afraid of to having a motorcycle race with your friends (trust me those are so fun!). show people just how daring you can be and immediately people will be magnetized to you.

wear clothes that are unique and you feel comfortable with. the pêle-mêle rejects conformity and the way you appear should reflect that. wear clothes that harmonize with your crazy personality. be daring and bold with your makeup. make sure you stand out from the crowd and that you do not care what people think. the alternative style perfectly suits someone who embodies this essence.

be confident. obviously this rule applies to all the essences but confidence and self love is at the core of the pêle-mêle. you need to show people that you do not care what they think of you and that at the end of the day, you are just here for a good time. the more you practice self love, the easier it will be for you to express yourself without the fear of judgement from others.

be a socialite. don’t be afraid to speak your mind to people. pêle-mêle’s are usually people persons. they love good company that they can go on adventures with. make friends by being your true self and don’t hold yourself back. even a few mishaps by saying the wrong thing from time to time can make people fall in love with your clumsy nature.

obviously there are plenty of other essences you can achieve for yourself but these are my top three favourites. to find out who exactly who you want to become try the few tips listed below!

how to find your personal essence

what kind of people captivate you? what type of personalities do you see that you wish you could be? do you find yourself being envious of the pretty girl next door, the man eater, or the mysterious persona? figure out what kind of a person do u wish to truly become and inherit their manner. find out the characteristic of ur desired essence to the littlest of detail. this can include from the way you walk, talk, eat, sleep, look, smell ext. think of this as becoming your ideal best self. take the female archetype quiz to get a better understanding of your self.

what kind of aesthetic catches your eye? do you enjoy the glamorous high fashion life or do you like the softer cherry coke and heart shaped sunglasses niche? maybe you enjoy completely different things or a blend of a few. live up to this aesthetic. do this by expressing this aesthetic in the way you dress to how u decorate your room.

what kind of environment do you feel the most comfortable in? are you someone who loves education and school? or do you love the idea of being free and living in an RV for the rest of your life? maybe you just want to live in a cozy high rise new york apartment or a huge mansion up in beverly hills. envision where you see your ideal self in 10-20 years. your ideal environment can reveal a lot about what kind of lifestyle choices you want to make.

you might be thinking to yourself hey these aren’t the best tips for school. and at an educational standpoint you’re right. but it’s important to embody your best ideal self to truly enjoy this lifetime. these are little things that can be used to motivate you. i believe that inner self work should be prioritized over your school work though both are important. make sure you are taking some time out of your week to find out more about yourself and who you want to become. be the best you.

[jellicle-shifters-au]

ballpoint icon bombalurina

:D!! this is going to get so long :D

shifter au bomba is a family lawyer! she does a lot of trust funds, wills, that kind of thing, and occasionally works with adoption cases, something near and dear to her heart, since she was adopted by jellylorum when she was very young.

she was found under a park bench when she was a a couple months old, left by her mother, grizabella, who couldn't take care of her, having been in a very bad place at that time, geographically and mentally (griz will say later that where she was was no place for a child, and she is absolutely correct). grizabella was the one who named her, and had known her name before she was born; she told bustopher her kitten's intended name, and later when jellylorum expressed concern over the kitten not having a name, bustopher was the one who, for all intents and purposes, named her.

no one ever questioned where he got the name.

she never knew her father (jellylorum's late mate, jonathan); he died before she was born. she grew up knowing asparagus as her older brother and called him "sparrow" because "asparagus" was too much for her little kitten mouth to handle. and he called her "robin," because if he was going to have a bird nickname, so was she.

of her extended family, she is closest to her aunt garbo, who gave her the nickname "rina" that she would ultimately end up using when she went out into the human world and couldn't go by "bombalurina." she later trained under garbo as an apprentice protector and was promoted to full protector status not long before she went off to law school.

of her immediate family, she's closest to gus, who knows all about her past lives, and who had once played parts that mimicked two out of three of bomba's lives: a tiger, and dick whittington's cat. gus loves to talk about his theater days and what it was like to play whittington's cat, and bomba laughs and tells him all the small things they got wrong, like how her name was diana, not tommy, and she was a molly, not a tom.

her third life as whittington's cat was her favorite and is the life she's most proud of. pantomine season is a mixed time for her, because she loves seeing that part of her life acted out, but it makes her miss whittington.

(she never talks about her first life)

(her last name, ford, comes directly from rosemarie ford)

bomba figured out, really figured out, she was gay while she was in law school. she came out to gus first (who told her to date responsibly), then garbo (who was more than accepting of bomba, especially since garbo's own son, misto, was also gay), and then jellylorum. bomba was most afraid of telling lori, not knowing how she'd react, even though lori was actively and openly with jenny and skimble--but lori reacted just fine and was thrilled her daughter was so open with her.

she and cassandra, at some point, had an incredibly brief fling.

she has three scars on the back of her leg from the night macavity and one of his rat shifters attacked her in her office.

her younger siblings really look up to her: electra thinks she's the coolest person ever and has probably gotten into fights at school to defend bomba's honor with other kids who lowkey have a crush on her sister; pounce admires how damn confident she is and he wishes he had what she does; jemima loves how kind bomba is no matter what and thinks she gives the best hugs.

bomba becomes electra's mentor after electra says she wants to train to become a protector, and the only one she wants to train under is bomba.

bomba has deep, vibrant red hair (like this) and she keeps it either in a loose ponytail slung over her shoulder or in a loose braid.

she gets really lonely in her apartment sometimes, after growing up with so many other cats around. it's one reason why she's so happy that demeter decides to stay with her.

she majored in law in ungrad, but also minored in psychology and gender studies. she's incredibly well-versed in all things lgbt and she's the first one all of her siblings and cousins and friends come out to first.

unlike most cats, bomba doesn't have any additional powers aside from her ability to shapeshift. this is because she's a human/shifter hybrid: her mother was a shifter, but her father was a human.

(there was some brief concern that macavity--who is about forty (40) years older than bomba in this au--might have been her father, because hair as red as hers isn't a trait usually seen among the cats. but she never developed any powers anything like his, or any powers at all, and everyone naturally assumed--correctly--that her father had been human)

(no one knows who her father is, not even griz)

[ratnumber21]

Mabel is Bi Headcanon

She started questioning her sexuality sometime during her boy crazy phase

She brushed it off as her hormones acting up and all that jazz

Until she couldn't keep her eyes off of the new (female) lifeguard at the pool one day post-boy crazy phase

Mabel didn't know what to think

She was afraid to tell Dipper in fear of him judging her

I mean, she makes fun of her brother all the time, who's to say he won't use her sexuality as an opportunity to get back at her, right?

She pretended to have another boy crazy phase as an attempt to push away those feelings

The more she pushed them away, the more she realized she wasn't as fully attracted to guys as she thought

She began getting all fidgety whenever a girl was within a 10-foot radius of her

One time when she and Dipper were helping Soos out in the gift shop, a girl around their age approached Mabel asking if there was another t-shirt in her size

Mabel froze on the spot

The girl tried asking if she was okay, but Mabel turned into a babbly mess and was unable to answer

The girl grew uncomfortable and walked away

Dipper saw the whole thing

Dipper: "Haha, you acted like I normally do whenever a pretty girl talks to me.”

Mabel, internally: Oh boy...

She was afraid of what this meant

She knew everyone in Gravity Falls was very supportive

But what about back at home?

The kids at school picked on Dipper simply for having a unique birthmark

Imagine what they would do if they found out that Mabel wasn't totally straight

Mabel couldn't sleep one night due to her overthinking the possible scenarios of telling her friends and family about her dilemma

"What would Dipper say?" "What if he tells Stan?" "What if he tells Mom and Dad?" "Would they disown me?" "What would Candy and Grenda say?" "Oh god" "I can't lose Candy and Grenda, they're my people!" "And what about Waddles?!"

She became overwhelmed and realized she needed to get this off her chest

Dipper was already off the table

And she was afraid Stan would be disappointed in her

And everyone else she knew was asleep

Except for one

Ford heard his niece coming before she burst through the elevator door, breathing heavily and tears streaking down her face

He ended up holding her while he walked around the basement, telling her soothing things and stroking her hair while she tried to steady her breathing

All while saying things like "they're gonna hate me!" and "they'll think I'm a freak!"

Once Mabel calmed down, she quietly asked her great uncle "What if I'm not entirely into boys?"

Ford dreaded a question like that

It's not that he didn't want to answer, he just hasn't been in this dimension for 30 years

He didn't know how much sexuality and gender identity had evolved since the 80s, and he never found the time to do research on it since he came back

He was just worried he wouldn't be able to guide his niece

He asked Mabel to elaborate and the story came pouring out

How she began looking at girls differently, how she acted like her brother whenever he was around pretty girls, and her fears of not being accepted by her family

Ford (who was thankful that he knew enough about the subject to be able to provide Mabel with solid advice) began by saying it's perfectly natural for her to question her sexuality

This started a whole conversation of Ford and Mabel exploring her possible sexuality

Ford then explained bisexuality

"But how come I like guys so much if I'm bi? Does this mean I might actually be straight?"

"No, you just have a larger preference for guys. Bisexuality is almost never 50/50. Some people think they're straight or gay because they like one gender so much they can forget they like another one as well."

"What if people don't react well when I tell them I'm bi after making it very clear that I was straight for the past few years?"

"You don't owe anyone an explanation. Your sexuality is your business and no one else's, okay?"

"But what if I'm not actually bi? What if I really am just confused?"

"There's no rush to figure out your sexuality now. You have your whole life ahead of you, sweetie. And you don't have to be so quick to label yourself. When you finally find the label that suits you, you'll know."

Ford also revealed that he, too, had struggled with his sexuality before ultimately concluding that he identifies as aromantic

Mabel is not surprised whatsoever

By the end of their talk, it’s past midnight and Mabel is more relieved than she’s ever been before

Ford is honored that Mabel trusted him enough to go to him for guidance for such a personal topic

He’s also happy that he got to spend more bonding time with his niece since he typically spends most of his time with either Dipper or Stan

Ford is about to send Mabel to bed when she confesses that she’s still a bit anxious that the rest of her family won’t accept her

Ford reassures her that they will before carrying Mable to her room himself

After tucking her in and turning to leave, Mabel whispers “Thanks for letting me talk to you Grunkle Ford”

Ford smiles and kisses his great-niece goodnight

The next morning, Mabel goes straight to Ford’s room just as he’s waking up to tell him she stayed up all night thinking about the things he taught her

She thinks she’s bi and she wants to tell Dipper and Stan

Ford is beyond proud of her (although he tells her to wait a few days just in case she isn’t quite sure yet)

Mabel comes out to Dipper and Stan as bisexual a few days later

Dipper is 100% supportive of his sister

Stan needed some explaining (he knew that bisexuality was a thing, he just didn’t realize there was a fancy name for it) but her supports her nonetheless

“Eh, as long as you’re happy and the person you’re with treats you right, I don’t care who you bring home. And as long as you wait until you’re at least 30 to bring said person home.”

Mabel said no promises

Bonus:

The Pines family was at Greasy's Diner to celebrate Mabel's coming to terms with her sexuality

They were getting ready to leave when Dipper and Mabel left to use the bathroom, leaving Stan and Ford alone at their table

Stan piped up saying that it was "interesting how easy it seems to be to figure this sorta stuff out these days"

Ford agrees but is unsure where this is going

Stan continues saying how if teens are struggling with something personal, the internet (and people on the internet going through the same) is right there to help them

"Heh, too bad we didn't have those things when we were teenagers huh Sixer?"

Ford is confused and Stan is suddenly tense and awkward

He explains he's never felt that kind of attraction towards anyone

He was always interested in getting a girlfriend, but he never really intended on going beyond kissing/possibly making out

Ford's eyes lit up and he immediately exclaimed: "WE'RE BOTH ACE SPECS!"

"WE'RE BOTH A-WHATS?!"

Ford explained that there was a spectrum that included different sexualities regarding the lack of sexual/romantic attraction

(for the record, Ford took time to do more research since his conversation with Mabel so he's pretty much an expert on sexuality and gender identity now)

He asks Stan how long he's felt this way

Stan says since high school

Ford asks why he didn't tell him

Stan reveals that he assumed he wasn't done with puberty yet/he didn't want Ford to think that there's something wrong with him

He also didn't want to disappoint their father "more than he already had"

Ford says that he would've accepted him no matter what

"Besides, if Dad ever did find out, he would've been disappointed in the both of us."

"Huh?"

"Like I said before, we're both on the Ace Spectrum. Only instead of lacking sexual attraction like you, I lack romantic attraction."

"Sooo what does that make the two of us?"

"Well, by the looks of it, it seems that you're some form of asexual and I'm aromantic."

"Some form of it??"

"Well, yes. You see, asexual can serve as an umbrella term. There's also gray asexual, demisexual-"

Stan thinks he's going to have a stroke

Ford promises him that they'll look more into it tomorrow

**Please be aware that I am not bisexual/asexual/aromantic so if I got something wrong PLEASE tell me and I'll correct it**

Hope you enjoyed! (If anyone makes a short fic out of this pls be sure to tag me (I want to write one myself, but I don't think I have time))

[nikxation]

The Power of the Sweater

Summary: Mabel finally gets that hug she’s been waiting for since Ford came through the portal.

This is a short little fluff-fic that I wrote for @endae‘s birthday. Happy birthday ya dork. Here’s some happy stuff for your happy day. :)

No one quite knows how she does half the things she does, but if one thing’s for sure: if there’s a Mabel, there’s a way.

Which only goes so far to explain how exactly she managed to simultaneously squeeze her two unsuspecting grunkles into a giant sweater in the span of three seconds, all without either of them seeming to register the action until it was already too late.

The sweater is huge, meaning it probably took her an entire week to make, even at her speed. Bright highlighter-yellow yarn fades down into neon green, stretching wide across the body, one normal-sized sleeve coming out of each side and a super wide neck opening into a loose turtleneck. A clock decorates the front with both little hands pointing to the twelve o’clock position where the word “HUG” is stitched in glitter-covered letters.

It’s almost atrocious.

The befuddlement plainly obvious on both of her grunkles’ faces upon realizing that they’ve both been ensnared is priceless, though.

“Mabel,” Ford says, glancing down at the clock design on the front with his eyebrows scrunched so far together they just about touch. “What… is this?”

“This, Grunkle Ford,” she addresses them from where she stands on the couch, “is the trademarked Mabel Pines Get-Along Sweater.”

“It wouldn’t be a trademark, Mabel,” Dipper pipes up from where he’s thrown himself across the armchair, glancing up at the chaos from behind his book. “A patent or copyright, maybe. But you’re not the first person to come up with a get-along—”

“Dipper, if you get me my camera in the next thirty seconds, I’ll tell you where I hid your chewing pens and that doll from your nerd game,” Mabel says. For all it’s worth, Dipper stutters something for about a half-second before he’s rocketing out of the room, narrowly avoiding hitting the door frame on his way out and up the stairs.

“Pumpkin, I’m still not following,” Stan says.

“And that is completely okay Grunkle Stan,” she says, stepping forward enough to smush his face between her hands. “You are still healing from crazy brain stuff so it’s perfectly normal if certain things are still confusing, okay?”

“I don’t…” he trails off, taken slightly aback as she lets go of his face. “Just because I don’t remember the name of a childhood pet possum doesn’t make this make any more sense.”

“You mean Shanklin? You remember him?” Ford asks.

“Was that his name? That’s—”

“As much as I need to hear more about this, it’ll have to wait,” Mabel cuts them off. “First, hug time.”

“Pardon?”

“You two need to hug it out, right now,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest. “Well, maybe in ten seconds when Dipper gets back with that camera.”

“Why does this feel reminiscent of that day you brought me back through the portal?” Ford asks.

“Because that’s exactly what it is,” Stan says.

“Ah,” Ford turns his attention back to his niece. “Mabel dear, this isn’t necessary. We’ve already made up, so everything is fine now. You don’t have to worry about us.”

“Besides,” Stan says. “Guys aren’t all touchey-touchey like you girls are. We prefer to bottle up our emotions and pretend we’re too good for physical displays of affection.”

“You’re family, so don’t worry, it won’t hurt your manliness,” she says, hopping off the couch. “And duh Grunkle Ford, I know you’re not fighting anymore. But you’ve been back for almost a month, and Dipper and I are leaving in a couple days, and you two still haven’t hugged it out! It’s driving me bananas! So, you two get to wear the punishment get-along sweater until you hug, and that’s that.”

“What if we just take it off?” Stan squints at her.

“Good question, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel says. “If you take off the sweater before hugging, then I’ll cry.”

“She will,” Dipper says, coming back huffing with Mabel’s camera in hand. “She can do it on command. It’s painful to be on the other end of.”

“I could probably live with the guilt,” Stan says, moving to shuck off his half of the sweater. But upon one sniffle from Mabel’s direction, he’s already clambering back in. “Okay okay called my bluff. But how would you know if we’ve hugged or not?”

“Dipper and I are with you two all the time. One of us would have seen.”

“What about nighttime?”

“You’re both super old. You’re asleep by nine most nights. Just two wrinkly kittens under a blanket watching old videos of when you were adorable and little that I totally don’t have photographic proof of.”

“What about if we did a handshake instead?” Ford asks.

“Too formal?”

“High five?”

“Too fast.”

“What about that thing that you kids are doing a lot now-a-days?” Stan asks. “The thing where you look like you’re sneezing into your arm?”

“If you two dab,” Dipper says, “I will personally cut you out of there myself.”

“No!” Mabel says, stomping her foot. “Hugs! Only hugs! The sweater literally has Hug Time on it!”

“Fine fine, okay,” Stan concedes.

Both boys look at each other, shuffling a little as if trying to get to some magically comfortable position, but only succeeding in pulling each other around inside the sweater. It’s all just an awkward mess for about thirty seconds, mumbles of “put your hand here” “I’m trying” “no I said here”. It all ultimately comes down to the both of them both unanimously grunting in annoyance, giving up any semblance of logic in this thing, and just going in for the hug. Mabel, always the planner, of course knew the exact amount of room they’d need to get there, and of course it’s a perfect fit, their free hands fitting perfectly to clasp the other on the back. Only—

“Tighter!”

“What?” Ford asks.

“I said hug tighter! You two are barely touching each other!”

“That’s kinda the point,” Stan grumbles.

“Do it!”

“Geez kid, alright.” Stan says, proceeding to hug Ford tighter, Ford responding in kind.

“Tighter!”

“Mabel.”

“Tighter!”

“If I squeeze him any harder we’re both gonna run out of oxygen!” Stan complains.

“Then you’d be doing it right!”

“Mabel, I think they’ve had enough,” Dipper says. She huffs in response.

“Fine, I guess you’re right. Picture?”

Dipper holds up the camera and takes the picture, the flash momentarily blinding and the camera spitting out the developed photo a few moments later. Mabel grabs it and inspects it carefully, making sure she’s satisfied.

“Alright you two,” she says, gingerly storing the photo in her sweater for scrapbooking later. “You’re free. Consider yourselves all made up now.”

“Thank Tesla,” Ford says, immediately scrabbling out of the sweater. “It was getting unbearably warm in there.”

“Says the guy wearing a turtleneck in the middle of the summer.”

“Trust me, I’m doing you a favor.”

“What? Got an embarrassing tattoo I should know about?”

“I don’t have to answer that.”

“Okay, now you have to show it to me.”

“Anyways, Mabel,” Ford redirects. “You know we really are fine, right?”

“Now you are.”

“No, I mean before,” he corrects. “This was very… sweet of you, but it wasn’t necessary.”

“Grunkle Ford, you two are standing two inches closer together than you were before,” Mabel says. Ford glances down at the distance between he and Stan as if to validate that. “I think the Mabel Pines Get-Along Sweater is a proven success.”

“I’m pretty sure that doesn’t mean anything,” Dipper says. “You literally had them shoved together inside a sweater.”

“Um, I’m pretty sure it means a lot of things, Dipper.”

“Really, it doesn’t.”

“Two whole inches!”

“I’m gonna go chop some wood or something to make me feel manly again,” Stan says, promptly shuffling out of the room.

“I should really patent this.”

“Mabel, two inches is not statistically—”

“Don’t doubt the power of the sweater!”

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 69

AN: Heyoooo well this one’s finally done, thank god we’re so close to the end of arc 7 I can almost taste it. Anyway, this is a fun little chapter with some deeper stuff in it that I quite like. So I won’t keep you from it. Enjoy!

Previous: https://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/186319809934/universe-falls-chapter-68

***

Chapter 69: Crash Site Omega

KTIT GSYW GRFUZKD GA PUNU MKU TVQC RETF E YHWB FKHWZH HEZAA G SSOVKT YQTZ FCD CKAFE ST EBP YTCCHIXER NC ONHDIVIR RVOEBPW

With the drill finally finished as it was, no one saw too much of a reason to put off using it for too much longer. Especially considering they were on something of a tight time constraint when it came to dealing with the problem it was created to subdue. Still, before sending the machine on its maiden voyage through the surface of the Earth, pretty much everyone had mutually agreed on preforming a few final tests on it first. Given their close involvement with the technical side of the drill, this was a task that Peridot, Pearl, and Ford in particular had volunteered to undertake. To further ensure the drill’s soundness and stability was up to par, the trio had invited McGucket to come over to the barn to help them with their checks, given that he was largely responsible for creating the machine’s blueprints in the first place. For the most part, their tests all went off without any hitches, and save for a few minor quick tweaks and fixes here and there, the group soon enough decided that the drill was finally ready to plunge through the depths of the Earth to rid it of the threat the Cluster posed once and for all.

But that was a feat for tomorrow. For tonight, everyone had decided to take the rare opportunity to relax and rest up for the daunting task ahead of them instead. The Gems, kids, and scientists alike had all gathered around a strong, roaring campfire, the drill proudly reflecting the flames as it sat positioned nearby. True, they all had plenty to fret and worry about, from their no doubt dangerous trek down to the Cluster in just a few hours, to the dreadful alliance between a certain demon and a certain Diamond they still knew so very little about. But for just one night, they had all mutually agreed to let those fearful thoughts go and simply take some time to revel in their successful project and enjoy each other’s company, in the hopes that they’d have even more time to do so once the Cluster was no more.

A round of amused laughter arose from the group around the fire, largely as a result of Peridot’s first attempt at trying to roast a marshmallow over the open flames. Of course, no one had warned the green Gem to not shove the treat into her mouth while it was still on fire, resulting in a panic that was more than entertaining for everyone watching on.

“Gah…” Peridot let out a sigh of relief as she finally managed to cool down. “Why is it that every edible object on Earth is so… scalding hot?”

“Aw, Peri, clearly you’ve never had ice cream before,” Mabel remarked, still chuckling. “It’ll change everything you thought you knew about Earth food, trust me.”

“…But that doesn’t make any sense,” the green Gem frowned, confused. “Ice is a solid object. It can’t be ‘creamed’!”

Of course, this observation only elicited another bout of laughter from the rest of the group, much to Peridot’s continued bafflement. Even so, the subject was soon changed by Steven as he glanced over at the drill with a small, content smile.

“We actually did it,” he said, looking to the others warmly. “We built a drill, all on our own!”

“Well, we couldn’t have done it without my technological expertise,” Peridot proclaimed somewhat haughtily. She recanted somewhat, however, upon noticing some of the rather critical glances being sent her way. “A-and without Pearl’s surprisingly invaluable assistance.”

“And without Ford’s immense knowledge of advanced machinery,” Pearl added pointedly.

“Or without Fiddleford’s impressive engineering experience,” Ford finished, sending his old partner a knowing smile.

“Aw shucks,” McGucket scratched at his beard humbly. “We all pitched in to get this here dohicky up n’ runnin’. Its something every one of ya’ll should be plumb proud of.”

“You’re darn right I’m proud,” Amethyst smirked, reclining back in her seat. “I helped lift a ton of old junk around to help get that sucker built. Better be worth it.”

“We’ll find out tomorrow,” Garnet remarked, vague as ever.

“W-well, even if it doesn’t work-”

“Which it needs to, otherwise we’re all DOOMED!” Peridot interupted Steven dramatically.

“Thanks for the reminder, Peridot,” Dipper deadpanned lightly. “Its not like that thought hasn’t been looming over our heads for the past several days now.”

“Hmph, well if its not then it certainly should be,” the green Gem retorted, not following his clear sarcasm. “Otherwise, what was the point of any of this?”

“…Even if it doesn’t work, which hopefully, it does,” Steven picked up where he had left off. “It was still a lot of fun to work together to build it. Even if we did run into a few… bumps along the way.”

“Yeah, like when you guys beat the snot out of each other in giant robots to decide who’s in charge,” Amethyst grinned, putting her fists up playfully.

“Or when Dipper had to go ask his girlfriend for help to get that shiny titan’s ore stuff,” Mabel teased, elbowing her brother wryly.

“Mabel, for the last time, Pacifica is not my girlfriend!” Dipper huffed defensively.

“Not yet anyway…” Garnet muttered with a small grin, though no one really heard her.

“Well, regardless of a few setbacks, at least this time, we didn’t have to resort to getting parts for the drill from Crash Site O-” Pearl cut herself off before she could continue, particularly upon seeing the wide eyed glances her teammates, Ford, and McGucket were sending her way. Glances that were more than enough to get her to change her tune entirely. “O-oh nothing! Never mind! Did someone say something about a crash site? Please, there’s nothing like that anywhere near here, I can assure you!”

“Niiiiice, P,” Amethyst scoffed, amused. “Real subtle, just like always.”

“Crash site?” Dipper asked, instantly curious. “What kind of crash site? And what did you mean about getting parts from it?”

“Is it a car crash?” Mabel asked, equally intrigued. “A bus crash? A blimp crash?! Oh, maybe it’s a big boat crash, just like in that movie where the boats hits an ice burg and the dreamy guy dies at the end. Augh! I can never get through that one without crying!”

“Neither can I!” Steven added just as emotionally.

“Ok, so can we get back to this whole crash site thing?” Dipper interjected, still intent to know more. “Please?”

The adults among the group all exchanged something of an apprehensive glance, as if they were all in on a secret they weren’t entirely sure they wanted to divulge. Which, by most accounts, was actually quite close to the truth of the matter. However, when they finally did make the unspoken decision to break the seal on this secret, Ford was ultimately the one to do it, albeit not in the way any of the kids were hoping for.

“The ‘crash site’ Pearl was referring to is… properly known as Crash Site Omega,” the author began, treading the topic carefully. “Or at least, that’s what I personally decided to call it years ago. And as for what it is…. Well… that’s… confidential.”

A unified groan of disappointment arose from all three of the kids, and even Peridot, who had gotten rather invested in the mysterious matter herself. “Oh, come on!” the green Gem whined petulantly. “You can’t just bring up something with a self-important name like ‘Crash Site Omega’ and then not tell any of us what it is! That just isn’t fair!”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m totally with Peridot on this one,” Dipper agreed, crossing his arms. “I thought there weren’t supposed to be anymore secrets between any of us, so why are you guys still keeping this one?”

“That’s simple,” Garnet spoke up calmly. “If you kids actually knew what and where Crash Site Omega really was, then there’s no doubt you’d all try to go there yourselves. And believe me when I say its far too dangerous for any of you to try to go alone.”

“Whoa, so its gotta be something really cool then!” Mabel gasped, fascinated. “All of the super-dangerous places we end up going to usually are!”

“Yeah, its pretty cool,” Amethyst remarked casually.

“Amethyst!” Pearl hissed at the purple Gem through her teeth.

“What? It is.”

“W-well, even if it is cool, I’m afraid you kids don’t need to know anything more about it,” Ford concluded succinctly. “At least not right now.”

Once again, the kids all unanimously deflated at this, clearly dejected by this barring of such potentially interesting information. Even so, Ford and the Gems were firm in their resolve to keep the knowledge of Crash Site Omega and anything pertaining to it to themselves. McGucket, on the other hand, clearly had quite a bit more sympathy towards the kids’ shared sense of disappointment, even if he did understand just as much as the others did that withholding the truth was for their own wellbeing and safety. Which was why he was the first to make a concentrated effort in trying to make up for it somehow.

“Well, gee…” the inventor frowned knowingly. “I sure do hate to see you kids wearin’ such sour faces. Y’know, maybe we can’t tell ya’ll much about Crash Site Omega itself… but I don’t see why we can’t tell ya about the rip-roarin’ adventure all of us had the first time Stanford and the others all dragged me out there.”

“Oh! Yes, I… suppose there’s no harm in telling you kids about that,” Pearl said thoughtfully. “Just as long as we don’t divulge… too many details.”

“Yeah, sure I mean, it’s a pretty fun story anyway,” Amethyst shrugged. “Ya know, outside of the several times where we almost died!”

“Oh, come now!” Ford exclaimed, disgruntled. “We didn’t inch close to death that many times on that expedition. Especially when compared to some of our… other endeavors back then.”

“Hey, hey!” Mabel interupted, raising her hand enthusiastically. “We wanna know about how you guys almost died! Right, guys?”

“Yeah!” Steven chimed in excitedly. “Well, ok, maybe less about the whole dying part and more about your adventure. It sounds like it was a lot of fun!”

“Yeah, sure I guess that works,” Dipper added somewhat halfheartedly before muttering the rest of his statement. “Though telling us what Crash Site Omega really is would be way better…”

“Well, for now, this will just have to suffice,” the author said, taking in a deep, leveling breath before beginning the harrowing tale. “It was over thirty years ago. The Gems and I were just starting to conceptualize our plans for the portal, and Fiddleford had only arrived just a few days prior to lend us a helping hand on the project…”

***

1981

Ford could scarcely remember a time in his life when he had been more excited about the future than he was now. His research of Gravity Falls and its countless unique anomalies had already proven to be a massive success and then some, thanks to the invaluable help provided by the Crystal Gems over the past few years. But the bold endeavor he was setting out to undertake now was bound to completely blow all of that entirely out of the water. With this machine, he was certain that they’d be able to uncover untold secrets about both the known and unknown universe, opening the door to scientific marvels unlike any ever seen before. But before such a grand dimensional leap could be taken, said machine had to be built first.

That was where the help of his friends came in. Already, Rose and the other Gems had readily agreed to help on the project in any way they could, help that Ford knew he’d never be able to thank them enough for. But what was even more exciting was the fact that his treasured old colleague Fiddleford had heeded his call to join the cause as well, journeying all the way from California to Oregon. From the moment the inventor arrived a few short days ago, the author had already been enjoying his friend’s welcome company and amusing quirks immensely, from his knack for solving Cubic’s Cubes in record time, to surprising skill on the banjo. Even if Fiddleford carried a few habits that Ford wasn’t particularly fond of, such as chewing tobacco and his overly-superstitious nature, he couldn’t deny that the brilliant calculations the inventor was contributing to the portal project had already made it more than worth the author’s time to ask him to lend his aid.

In fact, it was through one of those very calculations that Fiddleford had managed to pinpoint a critical flaw in Ford’s plans for the machine thus far. Apparently, the purposed portal’s highly advanced technical caliber would require an equally advanced power source to keep it running. A Temporal Displacement Hyperdrive, to be exact.

“Which means we might as well pull the reigns on this project here n’ now,” Fiddleford shook his head mournfully as he slapped his notebook shut. “On account of the fact that humanity is ten thousand years away from even comin’ anywhere close to even tryin’ to invent one!”

Despite how distraught his partner was over this insurmountable setback, Ford merely grinned confidently, as if he wasn’t even bothered by it at all. Which, by and large, he absolutely wasn’t. “Well then, aren’t we incredibly luck that I just so happen to have a handful of friends who know exactly where we can find such a device.”

Needless to say that Fiddleford was beyond baffled by such a bold claim. Even so, Ford wasn’t entirely keen on spoiling such a monumental surprise so easily, which was why he implored the inventor to return early the next morning, and, more importantly, come ready for a grand expedition that would span two days at least, if not more.

Confused as he was by such an odd request, Fiddleford complied, arriving at the author’s home at dawn the next day. The inventor was still rather sleepy as he stepped into the den, camping pack slung over his shoulder as he readily accepting the piping hot cup of coffee Ford offered him. “So are we settin’ out on whatever skullduggerin’ misadventure you have planned for us any time soon, Stanford?” Fiddleford grumbled upon noticing that the author was making no clear steps towards leaving. “Cause if not, then I might as well just mosey on back to bed.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Fiddleford,” Ford assured with a knowing smirk. “We’ll be leaving very shortly. Just as soon as my… mm… friends arrive.”

“The same ‘friends’ you mentioned yesterday, I’m guessin’?” Fiddleford raised an eyebrow.

“The very ones,” the author nodded. “They’ve been gone on a lengthy mission across the globe since before you arrived a few days ago. I… had planned on introducing you all under slightly different circumstances, but this works every bit as well.”

“…Do I even want to know what you originally planned for us meeting?”

“Oh, through a group outing to study Gravity Falls’ invasive barf fairy population, of course.”

“…Charmin’,” Fiddleford deadpanned. “Real charmin’.”

At that moment, an enthusiastic knock on the front door resounded throughout the house, one that Ford didn’t hesitate to hurry to answer. “Ah, perfect timing! They’re here!” The author stopped short just shy of the door to turn to his partner one more time. “Fiddleford, I’d like for you meet none other than… the Crystal Gems!”

With that, he boldly opened the door to reveal a quartet of women that Fiddleford had to do a double take on just to make sure they were really real. Their ethereal, frankly magical appearances were truly something to behold, and yet there they stood, crowded in the doorframe, the largest and pinkest among them also bearing the widest, brightest smile as she greeted the author warmly. “Ford!” she exclaimed, happily sweeping him up into a tight, friendly hug.

“Heh, y-yes, its great to see you again too, Rose!” Ford laughed tightly, clearly caught off guard by the sudden, almost choking embrace. Fortunately, Rose was quick to release it to set the author back down on the ground. “So, how was Greenland?”

“Oh, you know,” Pearl spoke off with an offhanded smirk. “Nowhere near as green as its neighbor right across the sea, Iceland, usually is. But tolerable, all the same.”

“But its waaaaaay better to be back home,” Amethyst said, leaping up onto one of her favorite perches: Ford’s shoulders. “Ya got anything for me this time, science man?”

“Well…” the author rummaged through is camping pack for a moment. “I do have these jelly beans, but they’re for me to take on the-” Without any warning, the purple Gem snatched the bag of snacks out of his hand, tossing it into her mouth and swallowing it whole. “Well, they were for the trip… Ah well, either way, there’s someone here I’d really like you to meet.” Ford stepped aside so that the Gems could finally see the clearly awestruck Fiddleford, who honestly had no idea how to really react to them at all. “Rose, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, this is my former college classmate and close personal friend, Fiddleford McGucket. Fiddleford, this is Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and of course, Rose Quartz. Otherwise known as the Crystal Gems.”

Fiddleford took in a deep breath at this, adjusting his glasses to properly greet these bizarre women. “I-I’m much obliged to meet ya-”

“Oh, wow!” Rose interupted, stars in her eyes as she regarded the inventor. “There’s another Ford!”

“W-what?!” Ford and Fiddleford both exclaimed in confused unison.

“Well, you said so yourself,” the pink Gem pointed out innocently. “You’re Stanford,” she nodded to the author before pointing at the inventor. “And you’re Fiddleford. Which means now there’s two Fords! How exciting!”

“Oh! Can we call this one Fiddle?” Amethyst suggested, tugging on Fiddleford’s jacket sleeve before doing the same to Ford’s lab coat. “And we can call science man Stan!”

“You most certainly cannot!” Ford snapped, his tone surprisingly harsh as he pulled his coat away from the purple Gem. The other Gems and even Fiddleford all looked to him in apt surprise, all of them clearly wondering where such sudden severity had come from, though before the author was pressed to explain it, he was quick to change the subject altogether. “Anyway… Rose, I’m glad you’re here. Fiddleford has brought an important matter concerning our newest pet project to our attention, a matter I’m… more than fairly confident you’ll be able to help out with.”

“Oh really?” Rose asked, naturally curious as she looked to the inventor. “And what’s that?”

“Well, to even get this machine ya’ll wanna build started, you’re gonna need to get yourselves a Temporal Displacement Hyperdrive,” Fiddleford explained with a frown. “But I don’t know where in the world we’re ever gonna-”

“A Temporal Displacement Drive?” Pearl spoke up, crossing her arms with a scoff. “Please, give us an actual challenge here. Why, Stanford, I’m surprised you don’t already have one seeing as how they’re incredibly archaic by today’s standards.”

“Well, perhaps on your mysterious ‘Homeworld’ they are,” Ford retorted with just as teasing of a grin as the one the white Gem was sending him. “But here on Earth, technology like that is a bit… harder to come by.”

“Wha—Homeworld?” Fiddleford grabbed the author by the arm, lowering his voice somewhat. “Stanford, what in the name of Sweet Sally Sue are you on about right now?”

“Oh, did I not tell you?” Ford looked back to his bewildered partner before nodding back to the eager group of Gems before him. “Despite their near human-like appearances, the Crystal Gems aren’t from Earth. In fact, you might even say they’re-”

“ALIENS?!” Fiddleford gasped, shocked by this revelation as he stared at each of the Gems with huge eyes.

“There’s that word again,” Garnet remarked, crossing her arms.

“I wonder what it means…” Rose mused, fascinated.

“Yes,” the author said, still sending the inventor a satisfied, almost goading grin over the fact that he had managed to befriend such a special extraterrestrial group all on his own. “Aliens. But completely friendly aliens, I can assure you.”

“Boy howdy, are they ever!” Fiddleford exclaimed, slapping his knee in newfound excitement as he rushed up to each of the Gems to readily shake their hands. “Ya know, from the time I was a youngin’ I’ve always wondered about you space folks, ever since my cousin Thistlebelt said his Grammy Louise was quote-on-quote ‘taken by them saucer people’. Everyone else in the family said it was a bunch of hogwash, but I never stopped believin’ that life in other worlds outside our own existed, and you ladies are livin’, breathin’ proof of that!”

“Oh, uh, well, thank you,” Rose laughed, amused. “But…”

“We don’t breathe,” Garnet said, stoically and succinctly.

“It’s true,” Ford added, noting Fiddleford’s continued dumbfounded expression. “They don’t. Or at least they don’t need to. Same goes with sleeping and eating. Why, if I was anywhere near as infallible as the Gems here are, then I’d have enough energy to solve every unexplained phenomenon in the universe and then some!”

“And then you’d complain about bein’ bored the second that you did,” Fiddleford remarked with a wry grin. “Just like ya did when you breezed through all of the coursework in your second semester of Applied Quantum Phase Theory in less than a week after the class started.”

“Clearly, a waste of a semester,” Ford scoffed. “Especially when taking Fifth Dimensional Calculus and Hyper-Advanced Engineering would have aided our cause with this portal much more…”

“Speaking of which,” Pearl interjected. “If we really do need that Hyperdrive, then, w-well…” She hesitated, as if anxious to continue. Anxiety that Rose and Garnet at least seemed to both share on some level as they all averted eye contact with one another. “Stanford, you know where to find it by now.”

“Well, yes, I do,” the author nodded. “But seeing as how this is going to be Fiddleford’s first expedition to Crash Site Omega, I figured why not commemorate it by all of us going out there together? As a team?”

“Crash Site Omega?” Fiddleford inquired, curious. Ford provided him a brief whispered answer, one that only served to floor the inventor even more than he already was when he realized exactly what it was.

“No…”

“Yes,” the author grinned, amused.

“S-so it’s really…?”

“Mm hm.”

“A-and they came in…?”

“They did.”

“…Well, I gotta admit to ya, Stanford,” Fiddleford said after a beat of amazed silence. “I didn’t come here this morning thinkin’ that my entire perception on reality would be blown wide open like its just been. S-so thank you for that, I suppose.”

“You’re very welcome!” the author chimed before turning back to the Gems. “So the way I see it, it’ll take us two days to hike both out to the crash site and to get back since the its central warp hub is still down, so we should probably head out now to catch good daylight and-”

“Um… actually, Ford…” Rose spoke up apprehensively. “I’m not so sure if we should keep going out there like we have been. It really is pretty dangerous, especially for humans, and if we keep bothering it, it’ll probably only get worse. So… I think we should just…” The pink Gem trailed off upon catching sight of the disappointed, rather pleading glances both Ford and Fiddleford were sending her way, both of them clearly eager to see this intriguing crash site and claim the powerful Hyperdrive contained within. Glances that, against all odds, were able to make Rose change her tune much more easily than expected. “Ohhhh… ok…” she huffed relentingly. “You two win. We’ll go get that Hyperdrive.”

“Excellent!” Ford proclaimed as Fiddleford let out a large sigh of relief. “Then let’s not waste another minute! Our expedition begins… now!”

“Woo! Expedition! Expedition!” Amethyst cheered as her and Garnet followed the author and the inventor out the door. “Hey, Garnet, what’s a expedition?”

“Rose, are you sure this is such a good idea…?” Pearl asked, stopping the pink Gem briefly before they could head out as well. “After all, the crash site is… w-well… you know…”

“I do…” Rose frowned, placing a gentle hand on the white Gem’s shoulder before breaking out into a small smile. “But what can I say? You know I can never say no to humans, Pearl, they’re so adorable!”

“That’s what you keep saying…” Pearl muttered with an exasperated sigh as she trailed after her liege, their ‘expedition’ to the mystery that was Crash Site Omega at last underway.

***

The fresh Oregon morning air was more than enough to completely invigorate the small motley crew of scientists and Gems as they set out on their quest. Since neither Ford or Fiddleford had a vehicle of their own, their trek would largely be on foot, something that only the inventor seemed to mind as they began their hike along the granite pass. While Ford was able to keep up with the tireless Gems just fine thanks to his rigorous daily physical regiment, Fiddleford was much less active in most things save for his mind and his mechanical work. As easily worn and winded as he was, the inventor wasn’t afraid to let his exhaustion show, especially as he purposed the idea of building robotic legs to let them do the work of walking for him.

Fortunately for Fiddleford, however, their trek only lasted a few hours before they found themselves on the other side of town at Lake Gravity Falls. Seeing as the serene shore was as good a place as any to take a break, that’s exactly what the group did (after documenting a bizarre Plaidypus they happened across along the way, as well investigating as the mystery of a possible beast laying in wait under the lake’s sole island). Even so, the inventor greatly appreciated the much-needed breather as he took the time to enjoy the lunch he had packed, at least until Amethyst snuck over and began rifling through it, an attempt that Pearl tried her best to thwart as Garnet watched on, amused as ever by her teammate’s antics.

With Fiddleford and the Gems as distracted as they were, Ford took the opportunity to slip away to jot down a few offhand notes and observations in his latest journal. He was just finishing off their speculator findings on the possibly quite dangerous island head beast lurking just below the unsuspecting waters when he began casually sketching out the peaceful shoreline itself, writing down a short description to go with it.

“Despite this bone-chilling creature, I couldn’t help but enjoy the scenery. There is no other place in Gravity Falls I would rather be than the lake. It reminds me of my childhood and Glass Shard Beach…”

Of Glass Shard Beach and sticky, sandy days spent there. Of briny seas and smoggy, sunny skies. Of just the two of them, exploring the tiny world they’d always known but planning for so much more beyond it. Of working on the ambitious pet project together that would someday finally get them there: the Stan O’ War.

Ford sighed almost wistfully, glancing over across the lake again before he began sketching out a simple sailboat on the bottom half of the page. Absently, he annotated it with an amusing youthful anecdote, one that he made sure to inscribe in code, just in case. He had just about finished it too, when a sudden shadow cast over him, catching the other quite off guard out of his deep thoughts.

“What are you working on over here?” Rose asked with a warm smile as she stood over the author, curiously glancing down at the journal in his hand. While Ford normally would have been eager to share his research with the pink Gem, instead he hastily scribbled over the boat he had drawn, closing the book and with it, his reminiscing thoughts.

“O-oh, nothing,” the author hastily said. “Just… foolishly losing myself in the past, I suppose.”

“Hm…” Rose mused as she took a seat on the coarse sand alongside him. “I wouldn’t call that ‘foolish’. After all, I sometimes do that too.”

“Hopefully not too often,” Ford joked with a brief hint of levity. “If what you told me is true, then you have quite a lengthy past to get lost in.”

The pair shared a short laugh at this, though as it faded as the author’s tone turned thoughtful. “…You know, I’ve never asked you… what is it like, to have lived for so long? Existing for hundreds of thousands of years like you and the other Gems have is far beyond any sort of known human comprehension so, I can’t help but be a little curious about it.”

Rose was silent for a moment, keeping her sights set on the sparkling lake ahead of them before replying flippantly. “To be honest? Its… boring. When a Gem is made, they’re supposed to be only one thig, have only one purpose for their entire existence. Thousands of years spending day in and day out in the exact same way without anything ever even changing. But you? Humans? You get to have an entirely different experience every single day! Your life isn’t set in stone like a Gem’s is, its constantly in motion! Its so much more exciting! And… ever since I first came here to Earth, that’s exactly what I’ve been trying to do to: to have a unique, special kind of experience each and every day. And so far, I’d say I’ve been doing a pretty good job of it thanks to people like you, Ford.”

“Hmph,” the author glanced away, aptly bashful. “I’d pin your success less on me and more on Gravity Falls. As surrounded by such fantastic anomalies as we are, there’s no way you could have a dull, uninteresting day here, even if you tried.”

“Exactly,” Rose chuckled. “Why else do you think we’ve stayed here so long?”

“Speaking of which…” Ford began a bit leadingly as he looked back down at the journal in his lap. “Where exactly were you and the other Gems… before you came to Gravity Falls?”

“Oh, I thought I already told you,” the pink Gem said. “We mostly wandered around all over the Earth, exploring different, beautiful places, meeting all sorts of amazing people-”

“Yes, yes, you did tell me about all that before,” Ford interupted, unable to push his curiosity aside. “I’m talking about before that. Before you came to Earth.”

“O-oh…” Rose faltered, her pink locks casting shadows over her eyes as her voice grew soft and almost unsteady. “W-well… before that… I was—we lived on Homeworld…”

“Ah yes, Homeworld,” Ford nodded, eager to know more about this distant planet the other Gems spoke so very little about. “And what was it like there? Quite different from the Earth, I imagine, I mean it is an entirely different planet.”

“Yes, i-it’s… very different, to say the least…” Rose muttered, almost whispered. For several long, lingering moments, she said nothing else on the matter, and for a good while it seemed like she had no intentions of doing so at all. Ford was just about ready to prompt her with more questions on the mysterious planet, but right before they could, a certain purple Gem suddenly jumped right into the space between the two of them.

“Hey, look at me! I’m Fiddle Man!” Amethyst exclaimed, showing off the inventor’s glasses that she had perched on the elongated nose she had shapeshifted to mimic his. “Howdy, howdy, howdy!”

“Hey!” The purple Gem took off the moment she noticed Fiddleford blindly chasing after her. “Give ‘em back, ya little-”

The inventor didn’t have a chance to finish his threat before he inevitably followed Amethyst into the lake, tripping and falling face-first into the shallows as the purple Gem surfaced alongside him, laughing madly all the while. “Amethyst! Give that human his vision aids back immediately!” Pearl scolded with a frustrated huff as she stormed over.

“They’re called glasses, Pearl,” Garnet remarked, coolly adjusting her own.

“Well, it looks like everyone’s starting to get restless,” Rose laughed, more than glad to change the subject. “We should probably get going. We still have a lot of ground to cover, after all.”

Ford frowned, even as Rose stood and offered a hand to help him up. Even so, despite the lack of any substantial answers to his insatiable curiosity, he complied, accepting her help as he offered his aid in gathered the others so they could continue on their way once more. And yet, the author couldn’t help but glance out at the lake one last time before they left it behind, hoping that he’d still get those answers, answers he knew the pink Gem was still hiding from him, sooner or later.

***

The rest of the afternoon took the group out of the midsummer heat and into a much cooler setting instead: a set of hidden tunnels secreted away behind the town’s famous waterfall. The ancient caves were a find that the Gems had first introduced Ford to a few years back, the drawings etched on the walls dating their formation back to early human history (which the Gems themselves were present for). Along the way, they happened across a rather large group of minute corrupted Gem monsters, which the author had decided to dub ‘geodites’; the tiny creatures were more than numerous and luminous enough to light their way through the rest of the tunnels. And by the time they finally emerged at the top of the falls, the sun was just starting to set, giving way to a crisp, warm, lovely evening. Which was why, with the vast view of Gravity Falls stretching out below them, the easy decision was made to set up camp for the night right then and there.

While the Gems didn’t really need to rest like Ford and Fiddleford did, they were still more than happy to help them set up their clifftop campsite. With a roaring fire built, the group gathered around it to relax and chat, all while gazing up at the countless arrays of stars and the constellations hidden therein dotting the dark, lovely night sky above them.

“Golly, what a night…” Fiddleford remarked between spoonfuls of beans out of the can he had just heated up over the fire. “We don’t get stars like these in Palo Alto, that’s for sure.”

“Palo Alto?” Rose asked, curious. “Where’s that?”

“A few states down south in California,” Fiddleford informed. “They’ve just started callin’ that part of it the ‘Silicon Valley’, as a matter o’ fact.”

“Why?” Pearl asked. “Is there a higher than usual concentration of silicon there?”

“Well, no, it’s on account of-”

“Its because it has a higher than usual concentration of ‘upstart inventors’,” Ford interupted with a knowing smirk. “Much like Fiddleford himself here.”

“Oh, ha ha, very funny, Stanford,” Fiddleford retorted dryly. “But Palo Alto also has a lot more to it than a bunch of borin’ ol’ eggheads. It’s also where my darlin’ wife and my lil’ Tater Tot are.”

“Ooo, tater tots!” Amethyst quipped obliviously. “I just learned what those things are the other day when I snuck into the diner. They’re so good and cold and crunchy!”

“You’re supposed to eat them hot, Amethyst, not frozen,” Ford pointed out with a concerned frown.

“Whaaaat?! Oh man, that sounds even better! I’ve gotta try that! I’m totally gonna break into that diner again when we get back.”

“I’m not talkin’ about tater tots Tater Tots,” Fiddleford shook his head with a small chuckle. “I’m talkin’ about my son, Tate.” Upon noticing the somewhat blank looks all of the Gems were sending him, the inventor elaborated. “Ya know, my family? Any of you ladies got any family yourselves?”

“No,” Rose answered almost immediately, her tone surprisingly sharp.

“Gems don’t really do ‘family’,” Garnet added quite stoically.

“O-oh…” Fiddleford glanced away rather awkwardly. “Well, all the same, I can’t wait to get back to mine! Why, once we’re done with this here project of ours, I have plans to skedaddle back home to ‘em and finally start patenting all of the robotics projects I have in the works.”

“Robotics?” Ford asked incredulously. “What practical use could that have in a common market?”

“Outside of militaristic weapons grade training?” Pearl added, though she was met with several bewildered glances at this. “What?”

“Aw, I got plenty of ideas in mind!” Fiddleford exclaimed zealously. “Ideas that are bound to make people’s lives better all ‘round the globe! Plus… it’ll be a decent bonus to finally be makin’ enough to afford a nice place with a screen door that ain’t broken like the one we had at the ol’ McGucket family homestead back in Tennessee.”

“Your ideas sound lovely, Fiddleford,” Rose smiled, enthused by such altruistic plans. “Ford, what are you going to do once our machine is done?”

“I think you mean once my Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness is proven indisputably,” Ford corrected with a knowing grin. “After its all said and done, I’m considering returning back home to the east to publish my findings about Gravity Falls and the source of its strangeness to the world.”

“Wait… you’re… going to leave?” the pink Gem asked, her smile fading altogether at this.

“F-for a time, yes,” the author glanced away, suddenly flustered. “But I’m sure I’ll be back around these parts sooner or later. Especially since I’ll have presidents and prizewinners alike practically begging me to explain all of the oddities we’ve uncovered to them. Just think of it! Me, rubbing elbows with the most elite of the elite! Debating politics with Reagan, discussing turtleneck fashion with Carl Sagan! And better yet, seeing the looks on the faces of everyone who ever doubted me!”

“Gosh, Stanford, those sure are some big dreams,” Fiddleford remarked with a smirk. “I’d expect nothin’ less from you, but… there’s still one thing I don’t understand.”

“And what’s that?”

“Well, from what I’ve seen of them journals of yours, it already looks like you’ve discovered more than enough amazin’ things to make you famous and then some,” the inventor explained, briefly nodding over at the Gems. “These ladies right here are a testament to that if nothin’ else, I mean, shucks, they’re literal space aliens.”

“Would you both stop calling us that?” Pearl huffed, annoyed.

“I guess what I’m tryin’ to figure out is… is this ‘grand theory’ of yours even really necessary?” Fiddleford continued, frowning. “Why not just publish your findings now, profit off that, settle down right here in Gravity Falls, and start a family of your own…?” At this, the inventor inclined his head rather leadingly at Rose, something that the pink Gem didn’t really notice, though the author understood the implication loud and clear.

Which was why he was completely powerless to let out a loud, blunt laugh at the very thought. “Oh, Fiddleford, don’t be silly!” Ford chuckled, shaking his head. “I’ll be the first to admit that romance is far more baffling to me than the greatest mysteries of the universe!” The author waited a beat until Rose was distracted by a small, side conversation with the other Gems to lower his voice to a whisper to the inventor. “Besides, you heard it yourself; Gems don’t ‘do’ family.”

“Hmph, and apparently, neither do you,” Fiddleford remarked, dissatisfied as he crossed his arms.

“So, Ford,” Rose interjected with a small, amused laugh. “Garnet wants to know… how exactly is romance ‘baffling’?”

“Because it sure isn’t to me,” Garnet said, adjusting her shades mysteriously.

“W-well, it just always seemed so… frivolous to me,” Ford shrugged, clearly embarrassed over having to explain himself on such a personal matter. “I mean, who even has time for such flights of fancy in the first place when there’s far more important matters to attend to?”

“Oh? Like what?” Pearl asked with a bit of a teasing grin. “Playing that probability-heavy dungeons game you showed me the other day?”

“N-no!” Ford exclaimed defensively. “W-well, at least not entirely. What I’m talking about is perusing something much grander than any mere momentary love affair: the answers to the most baffling mysteries human history has ever known! And I’m going to be the one to find those answers once and for all. Why should I settle for simplicity when I can just as easily sail to the stars!?”

“There’s nothing wrong with simplicity, Ford,” Rose grinned gently. “In fact, its one of the things I love most about the Earth. Everything here works so well with everything else. It all just… fits together to create a planet that just feels… so complete and so perfect in so many different ways, I can’t even begin to list them all!”

“But it can hardly compare to all of the other incredible sights you’ve must have seen among the endless cosmos, right?” Ford pressed, curious as ever. “After all, the Earth, perhaps barring Gravity Falls as the sole exception, is so… mundane when pitted against the vast depths of space, places humans have never even dreamed of seeing before, including your very own Homeworld! You’ve been here on Earth for thousands of years now… don’t you ever miss what lies beyond it?”

Rose paused for a moment, seeming to mull over this as she gazed up at the distant, twinkling stars far above them. But when she finally did give her answer, it was with a solid, confident smile as she returned her gaze back down to the sprawling view of the town far below them. “Why would I ever miss Homeworld when I’m already home?”

Despite his best efforts, this was a question Ford couldn’t find an answer to. It was at that moment that the author began to realize, perhaps for the very first time, just how different the pink Gem’s worldview was from his own. It was undeniable that Rose was quite content with her peaceful lot on planet Earth, far removed from the mysterious, exciting grandeur of the cosmos and her former interstellar home. It was a sentiment the other Crystal Gems seemed to carry, but it was one that Ford couldn’t quite understand. For much of his life, the author had felt limited in some way; limited by the scope of his small hometown, limited by the low standards of his family around him, limited even by his own scientific knowledge (at least until his muse fortunately came around to help in that regard). In fact, he had grown so used to being limited that it was no wonder that breaking those limits wide open had long since been a high-ranking goal of his. He didn’t want to just be content to be, he wanted so much more than that. He wanted success, he wanted recognition, he wanted greatness. He would settle for nothing less.  

And while Ford knew the road to reaching such lofty ambitions wouldn’t be an easy one, he still preferred the road less traveled anyway, he always had. And, as he sat around the campfire, laughing and conversing with some of the people (or more accurately Gems) he trusted most, he couldn’t help but feel immensely grateful that he wouldn’t have to travel that road alone.

***

The next morning saw the group meeting with a mystery right off the bat. While getting in an early morning shave, Fiddleford had spotted the briefest flash of something in the woods behind him in his tiny mirror. Superstitious and skittish as he was, the inventor didn’t hesitate to alert Ford and the Gems about the possible intruder, which had vanished just as quickly as it had appeared. A careful search of the entire area turned up empty, but no one could deny they all felt the presence of some unknown creature or being lurking about, its mysterious nature matching closely to a longstanding local lumberjack legend known as the Hide-Behind. The creature had been a point of curiosity for both Ford and the Gems for quite some time, largely since it had reportedly never been clearly seen by anyone before. The most anyone was able to find of it was they quickly packed up their camp were its strange footprints in the dirt, accompanied by its bizarre howl echoing through the trees as the trees. Needless to say it was enough to set the entire group on edge, even the usually intrepid Gems, who were all on the verge of summoning their weapons for self-defense, just in case the Hide-Behind suddenly decided to come out of hiding after all…

Fortunately though, they weren’t beset by any such danger as they finally made their way out of the woods and into more open expanses. Rose took point of the group from here, her manner oddly tense as she began leading the last leg of the journey to the crash site. Contrasting to the pink Gem, however, Ford and Fiddleford were both growing gradually more excited the closer they got to their destination. The pair engaged in enthused speculation about the vessel they were heading to all the way there, a conversation that the Gems largely refused to join in, even despite the many questions posed their way. In fact, they only seemed to grow even more dodgy as they finally reached the deep, oddly-shaped valley where their prize awaited: Crash Site Omega itself.

“We’re here,” Rose reported quietly, coming to a stop at the center of the wide grassy area.

“Wait… this is it?” Fiddleford asked, confused.

“Indeed it is,” Ford chimed in with a daring grin as he approached the field’s only notable feature, a large, inconspicuous rock. “It looks like it hasn’t been touched since the last time we were here two years ago! How lucky!”

“Very lucky,” Garnet remarked stiffly, adjusting her shades.

“Now, let’s just move this aside, and…” the author trailed off as he pushed the rock, revealing a metallic panel beneath it. Removing it was just as easy, uncovering a square opening in the ground with a long ladder leading down into the darkness far below. “There we go. This should lead us down right through… what was it again?”

“The indefinite exhaust port,” Pearl remarked, crossing her arms and scowling.

“U-unbelievable…” Fiddleford said, his eyes wide as he stared down into the mysterious tunnel. “And here I thought ya’ll were yankin’ my chain with this crash site nonsense, but… b-but here it is! Plain as day!”

“Ugh, do we really gotta go down there again?” Amethyst asked with a huff. “Its so dark and smelly and boring…”

“Don’t worry, Amethyst, we won’t be down there very long,” Rose assured the youngest Gem with a small smile. “Will we?” she asked Ford in particular.

“We’re only here for the hyperdrive this time, so I would say this shouldn’t take too terribly long,” Ford mused.

“Good,” Pearl said somewhat sharply. “The sooner we leave this place behind, the better.”

With their shared intention to get in and get out as quickly as possible, the Gems entered the passageway first. Ford and Fiddleford followed after, both of them somewhat baffled as to why their companions seemed so wary of the crash site as a whole. Even so, they eagerly followed down into the depths, scaling down into the wreckage left behind from a vessel forgotten by time.

The structure’s practically ancient chrome interior, as untouched by the elements as it was, was largely pristine, if not heavily dusted and cobwebbed. The buried vessel was essentially a maze of various vast, twisting corridors, revealing nothing to what its exterior might have once looked like. Most of its electronic components were long-since defunct and its echoing halls were just as abandoned and dark, illuminated only by the glow from Pearl and Rose’s respective gemstones lighting the way. Ford and Fiddleford also had flashlights on hand, however, to further aid them in getting a better glimpse at their amazing surroundings; surroundings that, as far as they knew, next to no other humans had ever seen before.

“Golly, just look at this place!” Fiddleford exclaimed, his voice echoing off of the hallowed-out halls. “It’s like somethin’ straight outta Cosmic Conflicts! Just imagine what it must’ve looked like back in its hayday!”

“We don’t need to imagine,” Ford said, confident as he glanced over at the Gems. “Fortunately in this instance, we can get knowledge on the subject straight from the source.”

“O-oh, well, its not like any of us got here on something exactly like this…” Rose remarked with something of an uncomfortable laugh. “After all, Amethyst was made here on Earth, and-”

“Well, still, certainly it must be close to what a few of you might be familiar with,” the author implored. “It did come from Homeworld, after all, much like yourself, right, Rose?”

“Ah, um, w-well, yes, I suppose, but-”

“So how long does it typically take for a vessel like this to be built there?” Ford inquired, innocently curious. What the author failed to see were the other Gems almost rushing on ahead, only Rose hanging behind and growing more and more anxious with each question he posed to her. “How many lightyears do you estimate it could travel in a day?”

“F-Ford…” the pink Gem attempted to interject, but nothing could really stop the author’s eager inquiries at this point.

“Does it have any sort of external weapons systems? Maybe a layered holographic force-field?”

“Ford-” Rose tried again and by now even Fiddleford was sending his partner a worried warning glance. But even still Ford continued.

“What would it take to bring a rig like this down in the first place? What was its original function meant to be?”

“Stanford, please-”

A warship? Scouting vessel? Why did it even come here to Earth in the first pla-”

“Stanford! That’s enough!”

Rose’s harsh shout seemed to echo through the entire vessel, stopping the entire group dead in their tracks. Ford turned to the pink Gem, aptly started by her heavy command only to find her usually gentle expression set in a sharp, severe glare. A glare that was aimed directly at him.

“R-Rose?” he asked quite hesitantly, unsure of how to react.

“I said that’s enough,” Rose repeated just as sternly. “No more questions, let’s just get what we came here for, and go.”

And with that, the pink Gem pressed on ahead, the other Gems and even Fiddleford meekly following behind her. For all of the kindness Rose was known to show, her rare moments of rigidness were more than enough to intimidate just about anyone. Anyone save for Ford, that is.

“Why are you always like this?” Ford asked, a hint of fledgling frustration in his tone. “Every time I so much as bring up the topic of Homeworld to you, you never want to discuss it? Why? You’re always more than happy to share everything you know about every other Gem-related matter, so why not something as fundamentally simple as your own home?!”

“Because!” Rose snapped fiercely, far more angrier than the author had ever seen her before. “That’s NOT our home! Not anymore…” She sighed, her fury turning to what almost seemed like remorseful resignation as she turned away once more. “And it never will be again…”

“But why not?” Ford pressed, refusing to simply let the matter go. “Why won’t you just tell me something about it?!”

“…Fine,” Rose said, her back still turned and her tone still tense. “I’ll tell you the only thing you need to know about it: we left it behind, in every way. And we want to keep it that way, which is why you should do the same, Stanford.”

This time, the pink Gem was intent on making it quite clear that she wouldn’t discuss the matter any further as she simply walked away. Once again, Ford was prepared to keep the argument going, though what ultimately ended up stopping him turned out to be none other than Fiddleford. The inventor silently barred him with an outstretched arm, shaking his head in disapproval over just how far the author had been willing to push his curiosity. Far enough to the point that it had, in turn, pushed the pink Gem away.

Even so, that wasn’t something Ford was all too willing to admit. After all, the most he saw himself as guilty of was perhaps asking one too many sensitive questions. But as far as he was concerned, it was Rose’s fault for deeming those questions as too sensitive to answer in the first place. Certainly, the author rationalized, the pink Gem was being unfairly secretive when it came to the truth behind her former home. She had already shared so much about her kind with him in the past; so what could possibly be the reason behind her keeping this information to herself? It was a question Ford knew he needed the answer to, but it was an answer he wasn’t sure he was going to get, especially not now. Especially with Rose choosing to maintain her stubborn silence on all things Homeworld-related, the other Gems intent on doing the very same.

“Here it is…” Pearl announced diffidently as they all stepped into a large, heavily-wired chamber. “One Temporal Displacement Hyperdrive, as promised.”

“Hm…” Fiddleford stepped forward, carefully inspecting the surprisingly small device. The hyperdrive was hooked up to the ship’s now-defunct engine by a series of sturdy chords, the screen on its side still somehow functional based on the illuminated visage of four multi-colored diamonds. Silence still permeated the rest of the rest of the group as the inventor looked over it before finally breaking into a small, satisfied smile. “Yep, I’d reckon this oughta do the trick. All I gotta do is tweak around with a few of these here wires and…” He trailed off, carefully snipping through the chords with the clippers he had wisely brought along. Then, after loosening just a few bolts and screws, the inventor was able to not just release the drive, but also extract it, snuggly slipping it away into his backpack for safekeeping on the way back.

“We got what we came here for,” Rose concluded, her tone and matter both starkly hallow. “Let’s go home.”

None of the others, surprisingly not even Ford, argued with the pink Gem on this. Still, Fiddleford at the very least could tell that the author wanted to, his insistence to know what Rose refused to tell him was plain enough to see in his plaintiff expression alone. And yet, for whatever reason, Ford held his peace on the matter, instead silently following behind the Gems with his head down and his hands clenched into tight fists at his sides. Fiddleford always had a knack for spotting a pot that was about to boil over, and if there was any way to describe the tension currently standing between the author and the pink Gem in particular, it was that. Which meant that he could only hope that when it inevitably did, none of them would end up getting burned in its wake.

***

While both Fiddleford and the other Gems all shared the unspoken hope that the mood would finally lighten when they emerged from the crash site, much to their dismay it did anything but. In fact, if anything, Rose and Ford seemed to distance themselves even further, refusing to so much as even spare a glance at each other, lest their disagreement spike up once more. While the author’s manner was hard and bitter, the pink Gem’s expression seemed sad and pensive, though as different as their emotions were, they were equally matched in terms of disappointment.

This anxious stalemate seemed as though it was going to continue for the entire journey back from the crash site, a thought that was all but unbearable to the others. While this quest had started out on such a high, bright note, it seemed so unfortunate that, even despite their relative success in getting the hyperdrive, it was going to end on such a low, dour one. Which was why, even if the Gems didn’t share his own intention, Fiddleford decided to venture an attempt to at least get the author and the pink Gem on speaking terms again. A plan that he would have very well carried out had Ford not happened upon a discovery that would change the course of their entire trip altogether.

“Everyone, stay right where you are,” the author suddenly warned, stopping dead in his tracks. Curious, the others complied, turning towards him to see what the matter might have been. “No one make a single sound…” he whispered, his posture suddenly tense and his eyes wide as he stared through the thicket of trees straight ahead of them. While Garnet and Pearl exchanged a confused, yet quite glance at this, Amethyst, however, was easily the first to disregard that command entirely.

“What? What is it?” she asked bluntly, loudly. “Are we playin’ some kinda quiet game? Cause I thought we already have been doing that for hours now and-”

“Shhh!” Ford quickly reprimanded her, suddenly frantic. “I said quiet! The last thing we want to do is wake it up!”

“Wake what up, Stanford?” Fiddleford asked, his voice soft, yet aptly baffled.

By now, Rose had happened to catch a glimpse of what Ford had already seen, a small gasp escaping her as she pointed to the clearing straight ahead. “That.”

Fast asleep in the light of the sun pouring down upon it through the canopy of trees above was a creature, a monster that was nearly beyond all description. The beast was massive to say the least, easily larger than any of the Gems, even Rose herself. It was a burly, muscular, grotesque behemoth, its constant snores more akin to hulking growls as it rested tentatively, though it was clear that it could be ready to attack with its piercing claws and protruding fangs at a moment’s notice. An outcome that none of them wanted to see, especially considering exactly what this creature really was.

“A Gremloblin…” Ford was unable to keep himself from breaking into a bewildered grin at the sight of such an exciting discovery. “One of the rarest creatures in all of Gravity Falls! I’ve only ever read about them in old local lumberjack legends, I never thought I’d actually get to see one myself!”

“W-well, ya saw it, so we should probably get a goin’ before that thing stirs,” Fiddleford urged anxiously, refusing to take his eyes off the snoozing monster, lest it pounce when he wasn’t looking.

“Yes, yes, of course,” Ford agreed as he pulled his journal out of his coat. “After I jot down just a few cursory notes on it, maybe get a quick sketch…”

“Ford, I don’t think that’s a very good idea…” Rose noted with a concerned frown.

“Yes, those creatures are notoriously dangerous,” Pearl agreed. “We’ve fortunately never had to fight one before and we certainly wouldn’t want to have a reason to now.”

“And you won’t,” Ford assured, still creeping on ahead, pen already in hand. “I’ve heard Gremloblins are incredibly heavy sleepers, especially during their hibernation season, which just so happens to be during the summer months.”

“But Stanford-” Fiddleford pleaded tightly, nervously.

“Besides, I simply can’t pass up the opportunity to document such a unique find,” Ford continued, hardly listening to the others’ warnings. “I’ll make this quick, I promise.”

“Ford…” Rose admonished once more, though the author hardly listened as he continued inching forward. He had all but lost himself to sketching the monstrous Gremloblin out, engrossed in his research far more than his own safety, or the safety of his companions.

“M-Miss Quartz, can’t ya get him to give it a rest?” Fiddleford asked Rose as he cowered up against a nearby tree for cover. “If he wakes that critter up, he’ll get us all killed, for sure!”

“I don’t know about all that, but I do agree that this is far too dangerous,” the pink Gem stepped forward, ready to call upon her sword and shield, just in case, as she made another appeal to the author. “Ford, we should just leave that creature alone and move on before something bad happens.”

“Which will happen,” Garnet predicted firmly. “Trust me.”

“Then we’ll make sure to leave before it does,” Ford only barely glanced back over his shoulder.

“But that’s just it, you don’t know when it will happen!” Rose huffed, annoyed by the author’s insistent stubbornness. “We shouldn’t risk it, we need to leave, now.”

“Well you’re more than free to go on ahead. I’ll catch up with you when I’m done.”

While the pink Gem’s patience was usually seemingly boundless, it was more than clearly being tested here and now. “Stanford, why won’t you just listen to me?” she asked incredulously. “I’m trying to help you; I just want to keep you safe!”

“Oh how?” Ford asked just as bitingly as he turned to face her. “By denying me access to simple knowledge that would be invaluable to my research? Knowledge that I have a right to know, that I deserve to know!? Is that your idea of trying to ‘keep me safe’? Because if it is, then you should know that I never asked you to. In fact, I think you’ll find that I can handle much more than you give me credit for.”

“Ford…” Rose sighed, disgruntled and despondent. “You still don’t understand! And that’s exactly why you need to stop. A-and why… why I can’t tell you about…”

“About Homeworld?”

Rose flinched at this, unsure of what to even say. All the same, the author stared her down, silently demanding the truth this time, and refusing to settle for anything less. “S-Stanford… I-”

Before the pink Gem could even get another word out, the unthinkable happened. A sudden, ear-piercing alarm blared through the air, readily echoing throughout the trees with a seemingly unending shriek.

“Augh! What is that?!” Amethyst yelled over the deafening din.

“I think it’s the hyperdrive!” Pearl called, nodding over to Fiddleford’s backpack, where the device was still stowed. “The change in altitude while going down the mountain must have activated it!”

“H-how do we get it to stop?!” Fiddleford cried, ripping the bag off his back to peer in at the blaring, flashing device.

“We need to-” Garnet cut herself off with a gasp, her future vision catching an extremely important warning just in time. “Look out!” she shouted to Ford in particular. The author instantly spun around, clutching the journal close to his chest to see a massive clawed hand rushing right for him. The most Ford could really do was brace himself for a painful impact, though fortunately it never came as a certain pink Gem and her sturdy shimmering shield intercepted the devastating blow instead.

“T-the Gremloblin!” Ford exclaimed, stunned as he glanced past Rose, who still stood defensively between him and the now-rampaging creature. “It’s awake!”

“We need to get out of here!” the pink Gem urged, pressing hard against her shield try and ward the incredibly strong monster off.

“Can we turn that stupid wiperdrive off first?!” Amethyst asked with an irritated groan.

“We’re tryin to!” Fiddleford exclaimed as both him and Pearl desperately tampered with the screeching device to quiet it down. “D-darn thing won’t-”

Suddenly, the Gremloblin’s attention shifted away from Ford and Rose and to an entirely different direction instead: towards the inventor, or rather, the loudly whining device in his hands. Before any of the others could even react, the monster lashed out, swerving around the pair in front of it and reaching out to grab Fiddleford in its enormous, deadly claws in one single swipe. The hyperdrive fell out of his grasp and into Pearl’s, though the white Gem was quick to leap back, summoning her weapon alongside her teammates to face this fell beast.

“Fiddleford!” Ford exclaimed in apt alarm over the peril his friend was in. Peril that only seemed to grow as the Gremloblin’s grip on the terrified inventor tightened, its large golden eyes baring straight into his. Despite his initial thrashing and struggling, Fiddleford more or less went completely limp as his eyes took on the same blank pallor as the monster’s, a sign that he was helplessly lost to whatever sort of trance it had somehow put him under.

“Ford, hurry and take cover somewhere!” Rose ordered, brandishing her blade in preparation for the inevitable fight ahead. “We’ll take care of-”

The pink Gem cut herself off with a startled gasp as Ford suddenly rushed past her, armed only with his full canteen of water and the intent to do whatever he could to rescue Fiddleford from the Gremloblin’s clutches. “Wait!” Garnet warned, her future vision already showing the outcome of the author’s brazenness to her. “Don’t throw water at it! It’ll only-”

The fusion’s warning was largely unheard as Ford chucked his canteen forward with as much force as he could possibly muster. It struck the Gremloblin squarely on the head, completely dousing it all over. It was enough to monetarily startle the creature, but that surprise was immediately short-lived as it unleashed a massive, outraged roar of retaliation. As if in response to the water itself, the Gremloblin seemed to double, if not triple in size before their very eyes, growing spikes and tusks and even strong and sturdy wings. The unexpected transformation left the spectating group completely baffled, especially the author as he realized that his hastiness was essentially the direct cause of it.

“It’ll only get much harder to deal with,” Garnet finally finished bluntly.

“Now you tell me…” Ford huffed, disgruntled.

“Gems, let’s go!” Rose commanded swiftly, finally rallying her teammates into action against the monster. The Gremloblin kept its tight grip on Fiddleford as it let out another vicious growl, towering over all of the Gems as they raced for it with their respective weapons drawn. Hasty as always, Amethyst leapt for it first, swinging her whip loose and wildly to latch onto one of the monster’s mighty upper fangs. The purple Gem used her taunt weapon to launch herself upward, raring to land squarely on the creature’s face to inflict a heavy kick, but before she could, the Gremloblin turned her plan against her. Instead, it swung its head upwards hard, sending both Amethyst and her whip flying fast and far off into the forest, away from the fight altogether.

In light of the purple Gem’s easy defeat, Garnet and Pearl teamed up in their successive attack. The white Gem went high, gracefully jumping up towards the treetops to land on a sturdy perch above the creature while the fusion distracted it on the ground below. The Gremloblin showed no intentions of losing its prey, despite Garnet’s best attempts at reaching the inventor while dodging the monster’s violent swings all the while. The fusion’s strength was formidable, to be sure, but when pitted against a monster of such sheer size and ferocity as the Gremloblin, even Garnet herself was no match. All it took was for the creature to suddenly catch the fusion by her gauntlet before it flung her away, sending her plowing through the trees and knocking several over in her wake until she was completely out of sight. A mere moment later, the Gremloblin also caught sight of Pearl launching herself and her spear its way, though it easily managed to stop her as well by simply making eye contact with her alone. The white Gem let out a horrified gasp, her eyes reflecting the Gremloblin’s golden ones as she collapsed flat onto the ground, instantly curling up and wrapping her arms around herself as her breaths came out in short, shallow sobs.

“Pearl!” Rose cried, almost rushing to the white Gem’s side right then and there if not for the Gremloblin attempting to attack her next.

“What’s wrong?! What did it do to her and Fiddleford?” Ford demanded, noticing that the inventor was still completely petrified in the Gremloblin’s grasp.

“I’ve heard of this happening before,” Rose said tensely, her hold on her sword tightening. “Gremloblins can make anyone see their worst nightmares just by looking into their eyes. It’ll wear off eventually, but still, we need to get Fiddleford as far away from it as possible before it can get any worse!”

“Well, then, by all means, let’s-” the author stopped short as the Gremloblin let out yet another booming roar. And then, without any warning, it outstretched its mighty wings, lifting its hulking body off the ground with but a single flap. Rose and Ford only had time to rush forward in a thwarted attempt at rescuing the inventor before the Gremloblin took off in flight, taking Fiddleford right along with it as it began its descent down the nearby mountainside.  

“No!” Ford shouted, not hesitating to chase after the beast, desperate to stop it before it could make off with his friend forever. And yet, before he could really begin his panicked pursuit, a steady hand grabbed him by the arm and swiftly pulled him back instead.

“Stay here!” Rose ordered as she summoned a new shield on her arm.

“No, I’m going with you!” the author exclaimed, adamant.

“No, you’re not! Its bad enough that one of you is in danger, I’m not risking you both.”

“You won’t be ‘risking’ anything,” Ford huffed in thorough annoyance. “I can handle something like this, you know I can. So why do you insist on acting like I can’t?!”

“Because you’re only a human!” Rose snapped, and just like that, everything shifted into stark silence.

Ford stilled, his eyes widening as he looked to the pink Gem with apt disbelief. “O-only human?”

“S-Stanford…” Rose immediately began to retract, instantly regretting her words. “I didn’t mean it like that, I-I… I just-”

“Tell me, Rose,” Ford began, his tone hard and filled with resolve as he pressed his way past the pink Gem. “Do you think a supposedly ‘simple’ human would be willing to do something like this?”

Without warning, the author suddenly sprinted off, completely unarmed and ready to take the Gremloblin on unarmed. He didn’t even bother to glance over his shoulder to see if Rose was following him, largely since he didn’t care. Regardless of whether or not she wanted him to, he was going to save Fiddleford. He was going to prove to both her and to himself that even if he was ‘only’ human, he was so much more than that as well.

Fortunately, the Gremloblin hadn’t gotten too far away as it drifted down the craggy mountain’s face. It was a rather sharp descent, but one that Ford was willing to make for Fiddleford’s sake, tearing his coat and scraping himself bloody as he half-tripped, half-ran down it. For a moment, the author dared to hope that he actually had a chance at catching up to the monster, but just before he could reach it, it turned hard, changing its course so that it was flying away from the mountain instead of simply down it. Ford skidded to a sharp stop, though only for a moment, refusing to let this be the end of the chase. Instead, he acted on impulse and adrenaline, backing up briefly before running full stop towards the nearest ledge. The author was nothing if not a man of science, so all the while, he was rushing through a number of calculations in his head, determining just how far he’d have to jump and exactly what his odds of actually making it might be. The results on both accounts were daunting, but even so, they didn’t stop him from taking the leap all the same. With a courageous shout, Ford pushed himself off the mountainside, keeping the Gremloblin and Fiddleford both in his sights all the while as he sailed through the air towards them. For a brief moment, at least.

For soon enough, gravity inevitably enacted itself upon the author, stopping his forward momentum as he all too quickly began plummeting downward. The base of the mountain was hundreds of feet below him, and Ford didn’t even have to think twice to know the impact would be agonizing. But fortunately, it was an impact that never came as he landed softly in a pair of soft, outstretched arms instead.

The moment Rose caught him amidst his freefall, Ford’s heart practically sunk immeasurably. So much for trying to prove himself to her, for in his reckless hastiness, here she had come, once again, to rescue him from peril, just as she so often had to do. However, as she began to float gently back down towards the mountain, her expression was anything but admonishing; instead it was sad, remorseful as she averted the author’s gaze altogether and spoke softly as they touched down. “Only a human like you would be brave enough to risk his life for his friend,” the pink Gem shook her head and laughed as she looked down at him. “I can’t believe I didn’t realize it until now. Maybe you really can handle it after all…”

“R-Rose?”

“B-but now isn’t really the time for that, is it?” she asked, her tone turning upbeat and determined as she set her sights on the fleeing Gremloblin high above them. “Let’s do this, Stanford, together this time.”

As baffled as he was, the author couldn’t help but return the pink Gem’s smile as he noted her warm sincerity. Which was why he allowed her to take the literal leap high into the air with him in tow, easily gaining enough height and speed to catch up to the soaring Gremloblin. They landed squarely on its back, though the moment the monster sensed their weight, it went into a frenzy. Rose and Ford struggled to keep their footing as the creature tried everything it could to shake them off its back, from twirling to divebombing and everything in between. Even so, they kept their wits about them, Ford in particular as he managed to crawl forward towards the monster’s head. In trying to simply stay on the Gremloblin herself as she was, Rose was quite surprised when she glanced ahead, only to find the author perched on the monster’s back as he, oddly enough, drew his journal out of his lab coat of all things. And, in one swift move, he reeled the book back before slamming it hard into the back of the Gremloblin’s head.

Despite his strong, muscular, monstrous form, the creature recoiled in pain from the surprisingly heavy blow. Miraculously enough, it managed to knock the beast out cold entirely, though as a result, its wings immediately went limp. Ford only briefly let out a gasp of alarm as the monster’s unconscious form began careening madly through the air towards the ground far below, but once again, Rose raced to his rescue just in the nick of time.

Acting quickly, the pink Gem swept the author into her arms before doing the very same with the still quite listless Fiddleford. With both humans safe and secure in her grasp, Rose leapt from the plummeting beast’s back, floating slowly down towards the ground as the Gremloblin fell at a much faster rate. The pink Gem and the author watched with wide eyes as the now-defeated beast crashed into the roof of a barn out in the countryside, one that they landed not too far away from themselves.

“Well…” Ford mused as Rose released both him and Fiddleford, carefully setting the inventor down in the grass so he could recover. “I have to say that was a bit sloppy… but still successful all the same.”

“Sloppy?” Rose asked with an incredulous chuckle. “Ford, that was amazing! Still, I can’t help but feel bad for that poor Gremloblin. After all, it was just trying to rest peacefully…”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” the author assured. “After all, I hear those things are… frustratingly hearty.” As if to prove him right, a familiar growl began to sound from inside the barn, accompanied by a chorus of panicked horses, cows, and various other livestock. “A-actually, we should probably get going before we have to go through this all over again…”

Rose didn’t argue, gently scooping Fiddleford up once again as they hurried out of the monster’s range. Their next goal, to regroup with the rest of the scattered Gems, recover the hyperdrive and finally get home from this lengthy quest, was clear, and that’s exactly what the pair set out to do. Along the way, Fiddleford finally began to slip out of his stupor, though as soon as he did, it was immediately apparent that not all was well with the inventor in the aftermath of his horrific encounter with the fearsome Gremloblin. For much of the trek back up the mountain, Fiddleford was all but incoherent, babbling frantically to himself as Rose carried him to spare his still-unsteady legs from having to walk. Even after a round of precautionary healing tears from the pink Gem herself, the inventor’s shaken manner hardly changed. He was still quite distant and anxious (even more anxious than he usually had a tendency to be), traits that Pearl also shared when the trio found her and the hyperdrive still sitting in the same exact spot in the woods where they had left her. Rose and Ford chalked their worrisome behavior up to the Gremloblin’s nightmarish gaze, and carried the hope that they’d recover from it soon enough, something that Garnet was able to confirm when they met up with her and Amethyst once more. Yet all the same, despite Fiddleford’s tense, fretful silence, Ford still happened to glean one quiet, bitterly muttered thought from his friend as they all parted ways upon making it home that evening. Something about finding a way to forget that it had all ever happened in the first place.

***

In light of the harrowing adventure they had just returned from, Ford was very grateful to find a moment’s rest to catch up on recording his notes on it in the journal. The author had taken to his favorite writing spot, on a surprisingly comfy stone halfway up the hill to the Gem’s temple, one that gave him a quiet, serene spot to jot down his thoughts and observations. He had just about finished documenting his and Rose’s surprisingly swift victory against the Gremloblin, when the pink Gem herself decided to join him.

At first, Rose said nothing as she took a seat on the rock beside him, her pink curls shifting softly in the late evening breeze. And aside from a brief glance her way, Ford simply continued writing, unsure of what to really say to her in light of all that had happened. Fortunately though, he didn’t have to think of anything, as Rose spoke up first instead.

“You know, it’s so funny,” she began with a small laugh that almost sounded bitter in a way. “I’ve spent so long trying to not to be like them, but even after thousands of years, I guess I still have a few things in common with them after all.”

“...With... who?” Ford ventured, slightly worried that, once again, he wouldn’t get a concrete answer. However, much to his surprise, a concrete answer was exactly what Rose finally gave him.

“With... with Homeworld,” the pink Gem sighed, turning her gaze up to the early stars above. “They used to keep things from me—f-from... lesser Gems too. Said we ‘didn’t need to know’ what they did. I always thought it was so unfair. So... in a way, I suppose I understand how you feel whenever I do the same thing to you.”

“...Oh,” was all Ford said, wisely choosing not to press Rose with any further questions on the matter. After all, his own brashness and stubborn craving for answers the pink Gem hadn’t been ready to give had already created something of a rift between them. A rift that the author had no intentions of widening any more than he already had.

“Homeworld... wasn’t exactly a place where Gems could just... be whatever or whoever they wanted to be...” Rose explained slowly, carefully. “There was no freedom, no fun... no love. That’s why, when I first came here and found out that this planet was filled with those things, I knew from the start that the Earth, that freedom, and fun, and love, were all well worth protecting. But they—H-Homeworld, didn’t see things the same way. They wanted to use the Earth to make more of us, to turn it into another one of their countless colonies. If they had their way, it... it would have destroyed the Earth and every single living thing that calls it home. A-and I just couldn’t stand by and let that happen! Which was why I decided to take a stand against them, me and all of the other Gems who felt the same way about the Earth. We came together and fought against Homeworld with everything we had. Like I said before, we left Homeworld behind entirely, all so we could finally exist somewhere else. So we could all be something else...”

“The Crystal Gems...?” Ford inferred, trying his best to hide the initial shock from such a heavy revelation.

Rose nodded thoughtfully. “Back then there were more than just four of us. But... well, what happened to the others is... a very long story in and of itself.”

“i see...” the author’s brow furrowed as he took stock of the pink Gem’s expression, noting the hints of longstanding pain and guilt within it. “I always thought that the four of you had arrived on Earth as part of some exploratory mission and just decided to stay here after all the others left. But now... knowing the truth... I... I suppose I never could have imagined something like, well, that.”

“It’s... not something I like thinking back on...” Rose said, looking down fretfully.

“That’s... understandable,” Ford nodded, suddenly quite remorseful. “Rose, I... I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I just... Well, you know how stubborn I can be when it comes to my research.”

“I wouldn’t call it ‘stubborn’,” the pink Gem finally smirked. “I’d call it... ‘determined’. And that determination was something you definitely put to the test earlier today. Which is why I’m so, so sorry for doubting you before. I thought I was just trying to protect you, but you were right all along; you really can handle more than I gave you credit for.”

“Don’t feel too bad about it,” Ford remarked with a small, joking grin. “You wouldn’t be the first to underestimate me, after all.”

Noting the author’s playful manner, Rose was unable to hold back a hearty laugh over this, one that Ford was more than happy to share. Despite the danger they faced earlier in the day, neither of them could deny that the struggles and trials of it all had indeed given way to a newfound sense of trust between them. The author already had an abundance of respect for the pink Gem, perhaps from even the very first day he had met her two years ago. But that respect had indeed been tested to the limits when she had so openly refused to see him as her equal. It was only when Rose herself decided to take on the same sort of respect Ford had for her towards him that the pair, all differences aside, were finally able to truly see eye-to-eye. And, as they’d both come to find out, that respect would be tried and tested time and time again, wavered and torn through portals, and demons, and a tragic separation. Yet even through it all, that respect, though constantly in flux between growing and shrinking, surprisingly was never once broken.

***

“So that’s it?” Peridot cut in the moment it was apparently that Ford, McGucket, and the other Gems had wrapped up their story. “You just went out to that ‘Crash Site Omega’, went in, got your hyperdrive (which is incredibly outdated tech, by the way, I can't believe you managed to find any sort of use for it!), fought a monster, and then went home? How boring!”

“Aw, shucks, it sure wasn’t borin’ at the time!” McGucket exclaimed. “’Specially not that nasty Grem-whosa-whats-it. I can guarantee firsthand that thing was a horrifyin’ freak of nature!”

“So can we, since we fought it off one time too!” Mabel chimed in with a daring grin.

“Excuse me, you what?” Ford asked, instantly concerned upon hearing this.

“Eh, we can tell you about that some other time,” Dipper quickly brushed it off. “For now, I kinda can’t help but think that your story sounds... kinda familiar.”

“Oh yeah!” Steven agreed, turning to the Gems. “Mom being all secretive about Homeworld is basically you guys used to do to us. That… honestly explains a lot, actually…”

“We had our reasons,” Garnet said simply. “So did Rose.”

“And at least we did open up to you all about it… eventually,” Pearl added.

“Yeah, and it didn’t take a hundred million annoying questions to get us to do it either,” Amethyst said, taking an obvious jab at Ford.

“W-well, what can I say?” the author huffed defensively. “I’ll be the first to admit that I was much more… impetuous when I was younger-”

“Impetuous?” McGucket repeated with a laugh. “Stanford, don’t go lyin’ to these youngsters. You were as stubborn as stubborn comes!”

“Not stubborn,” Garnet spoke up, offering the author a small smile. “Determined, just like Rose said.”

“Exactly,” Ford grinned, satisfied. “Determined. Much like you kids are, come to think of it.”

“Determined enough to… oh, I don’t know…” Dipper began rather leadingly. “Tell us what and where Crash Site Omega actually is?”

“Nice try,” the author said knowingly. “But no. Well… at least not yet, anyway.”

“A ‘not yet’, huh?” Mabel looked to Steven and Dipper with an encouraging grin. “Well, that’s not a total no, so its good enough for me!”

“Not for me,” Peridot remarked, crossing her arms and shaking her head. “I’m still not over the fact that you used a Temporal Displacement Hyperdrive, of all things! What kind of relic of a machine were you even trying to build that would need a power source that’s so… so ancient?”

Ford, McGucket, and the Gems exchanged a bit of a worried glance at this, knowing that the true answer to this question held countless missteps and horrors all their own. Yet even if the portal itself had ended in disaster, none of them could deny that the road to get them to its completion had been filled with countless ups and downs and unique stories to tell. It had been a path paved with memories, many of them quite fond, memories that they were all mutually glad to finally have back, even if restoring them had awakened moments they would have just as well left back in the past. But if there was any one thing they could all agree on, it was that they were still glad to have those memories, those adventurous, daring days of discovery and friendship back, tying them together into the team they used to be once more. Which was why it was with a small smile that Ford replied to the green Gem’s question, silently agreeing with the others to leave the pains of the past behind to embrace the best of the present, and the road to the future, instead. “None of us need to worry about that anymore. After all, there are some stories that are better left… untold.”

Next:

[theoutsourcer]

Some of The Most Difficult Questions Related to Outsourcing, Answered Here!

As Henry Ford used to say: if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. While some entrepreneurs embraced the trends and innovations in the business industry, some still prefer to stick to their old practices like hiring in-house over outsourcing - but old business practices aren’t enough for the new normal. And with the staggering growth of the outsourcing industry in this year alone, where businesses are already spending over $700 billion, more and more companies will eventually come around and try it out. 

Perhaps one of the biggest barriers to outsourcing is a general aversion to trying things a different way. Whether it’s a matter of things going pretty fine as they are, or a fear that trying to use outsourcing will cause additional problems, there can be a general hesitancy to running business in a way that you’re not familiar with. But without risk, there is no reward. So what exactly are people questioning about outsourcing?

For starters, why should I outsource when I could just hire in-house?

Outsourcing is not for everyone. It’s a complicated effort and some people may find it too difficult to give up control. With in-house, you’ve built the knowledge and the framework, but your employees can’t be good at everything. You might not have in-house resources that can complete a particular project successfully.

Hiring a full-time team member is also expensive and entails a longer commitment than outsourcing that work. When the project is done, that person expects to have the same amount of work and pay. If you only need help for one or two projects, it might be more affordable to outsource a task or project instead of handling it in-house. There really isn’t any need to pay a software developer $100,000 a year when you can get the same job done for as little as $6 an hour. The quality of work will be exactly the same, it will be done in the same timeframe; and considering you’ll pay up to 70% less, you’d be doing your shareholders a disservice if you didn’t consider outsourcing. 

Clearly there are always risks involving other people in your business. This is true regardless of whether the people will work in-house or form part of an outsourced provider. But the best outsourcing companies not only have technical, creative, and administrative talent and employees that are more than well-equipped to handle all kinds of tasks at a faster rate, but they also have an outstanding reputation that speaks for itself. Reliable outsourcing companies like The Outsourcer eliminates risk and get you quality output, offering a variety of 46 virtual assistant services to help bring your company’s vision to life.

How can I address apprehensions in outsourcing?

As a general rule, you’ll have less control over a project once you outsource it. But outsourcing gives you more expertise and access to more talent. Ultimately, the outsourcing company you hire will become an extension of your brand, so you’ll need someone stable and reliable that will not only provide you excellent services, but also someone who can share the same values as you. Trust is an essential factor in every relationship, and if it goes both ways, there'll be no other way to go but forward. 

There are legitimate players like The Outsourcer that can share all your company’s responsibilities. If you’re feeling stressed, overworked, burnt out and growing tired of being the “Chief of Everything Officer”, then you need an end-to-end, holistic HR & Recruitment Approach that encompasses the entire journey from onboarding with your value-matched virtual coworker to continued productivity, loyalty, and growth. The Outsourcer can serve your every business need while saving you 70-80% on your wage bill.

What if I am a company that has been let down by previous BPO vendors?

The challenge in choosing the right outsourcing company lies in the risk present when you're not matched up with somebody who has the same culture that your company has. Working with an outsourcing company can feel like trusting strangers with the keys to your own success, but it doesn’t have to be that way. If you want to work effectively with a remote team, trust should be the first thing you establish. You have to make sure you hold your outsourcer more accountable than you hold your internal people today. 

Finding talent that is reliable, engaged and committed doesn’t have to be complicated. The Outsourcer can be your trusted partner who can provide you young, innovative and vibrant workers who are skilled in all the right areas. Sign up and you automatically get access to 50 different services all managed by ONE Personalized Virtual Assistant. Your Personalized Virtual Assistant is plugged into a centralized system of multi-skilled specialists. You get access to all the best tools, talent, and resources that’ll help your business run on auto-pilot so that you can focus on the higher-leverage things.

The Outsourcer’s Personalized Virtual Assistant program enables disruptive entrepreneurs and business owners to forget about the mundane and repetitive tasks and have an abundance of time to focus on growing their business.

The fear of the unknown makes it difficult for first-timers to try the potential benefits that outsourcing can bring to a company. Risks are a constant in business, so companies tend to go for opportunities that offer the least risks and the most stability. And while outsourcing may not be for everyone, it is for most people. After all, it gives companies a greater competitive advantage in today’s growing gig economy in a cheaper and more effective way. So as you're growing and scaling your business, we in The Outsourcer are here to take all that knowledge you have internally, put it into a foundation, and make sure it's repeatable so you can scale your business and continue to grow effectively. 

[coccolare-blog]

the breakup.

It’s been two days since our breakup. R and I dated for a year and a half. And now it is no longer. I didn’t see it coming, even though I should’ve. 

My heart still hurts, I still cry spontaneously throughout the day, and my nose hurts from all the tissues I’ve smooshed into my face. 

He was the first person that I’ve ever wanted to marry. I wanted to have his kids. I wanted to build the urban garden we talked about, start the charity we brainstormed about. I wanted to support him as he grew his company. I wanted him to be by my side as I built mine. I wanted to read the book he brought me for my birthday together. There were so many things that I wanted. 

When he told me he wanted to break up, I was over come with emotions. Sadness because I didn’t want to be separated from him. Regret for the hurtful words I said, and for the things I did, or didn’t do. Anger for all the things I wanted him to do, but he never did. I admit, I was also afraid. What would happen to me? I just turned 27, and I couldn’t bare the idea of being alone. 

I cried, he cried. I pleaded and reasoned and begged for him to not give up. For him to give me a chance, us a chance. For him to try a little harder. Anything. He didn’t budge. 

At the end I said, “I wish there was some concrete explanation I could understand.” 

He said, “I just don’t love you,” admitting defeat. 

“Ok.” I felt numb. “Ok.” It was over. 

It wasn’t “I love you, but I don’t love you,” or “I’m just not in love with you anymore,” or some cliche breakup line like that. In fact, in all this time, he has never told me he loved me and he never had. 

He wasn’t like my high school boyfriend, who told me he loved me a week in. Or my college boyfriend who said it a month in. R said they were tricksters, not believing in the youthful romances. They must have said it to make me trust them, for me to give them everything I had. Or they confused their hormones with love, or maybe it was their initial sense of infatuation. Something like that. It wasn’t love. 

R isn’t the typical romantic. A few months in I waited for him to say these words that other boys seemed unable to hold back. When they didn’t come, I confronted him. Not to ask him why he wasn’t in love, but to ask what he thought love was. He had never been in love. He started dating later in life, when he was 23 or 24. He had three girlfriends before me. 6 months, 3 months, 1 month. Each grew shorter as he eliminated the possibilities. 

I asked him if he thought he was capable of love - something I was questioning myself before I met him. He said, “I would very much like to be in love.” The end rose in tone, as if asking a question. 

He wanted someone that he trusted. In all sense of the word. Smart, caring, capable, self sufficient. Someone who could handle things so that he could do other, more important things, like work. Work was always on his mind. 

He also wanted to do all sorts of projects. Whatever big idea that caught his fancy- a new business idea, or a charity. For someone who loved capitalism so much, he was surprisingly into helping others. His thing was that you could help so many more people if you used money effectively. He wanted a partner who would do it with him. 

His final thought, which he prefaced with “I don’t know if this is reasonable, but...” he felt that he would be sure he was in love once they face some sort of hardship or big event. If they made it though, overcame it, averted the crisis in a way he deemed reasonable, then he would know. It was probably some sort of ultimate test to see if she will be a fit mother. 

I joked that we weren’t going to get into a car crash to find out. 

I was enamored by him from the start. When people asked what I liked about him, I instantly said “I like the way his brain works.” That isn’t to say that I always agree with him. We shared many things- values, future visions, an affinity to dry humor- but we didn’t agree on everything or share many interests. I didn’t need that, and was fine with accepting him as he was. 

I was fascinated. I wanted to poke holes and wriggle my way through these thoughts, swimming in an endless pool of ideas. I wanted to know him in a way that I didn’t, and probably couldn’t, understand anyone else. 

From his idea of love, you can probably tell, he is a very special type of person. He is driven, confident, and strangely idealistic. He has an ego too- not surprising for a young man who is successful, handsome, and smart. He probably feels like he can conquer the world- I don’t blame him.

Ego is not a terrible thing, but it gets in the way sometimes. It blinds you from other perspectives, closes you off from considering other possible truths. 

While I wanted to meander through thoughts, he wanted an answer. My mind was always in between- seeking, finding, analyzing different possibilities. He thought there should always be a best answer. The right answer. All else was pointless. 

I grew weary of answering leading questions. I didn’t like being dismissed because my argument was weak, or being questioned if I, by principle, really believed what I said. 

He lost interest when I became a blank slate. I didn’t tickle his brain or challenge his beliefs the way he wanted. I resented his stubbornness to not consider my ideas significant.  

Another thing you should know about him was that he really judged people. Perhaps there’s a better word I should use instead, but it was a self-proposed word that he enjoyed as a proud INTJ. He really strongly identified with each letter, despite the pseudo science behind it. 

He really admired people, particularly good businessmen, who made a lot of their life. Rockefeller, Ford, Kroc, Bezos, Musk. What he didn’t like were people who didn’t aspire to anymore more than a normal desk job. He surrounded himself with friends who were entrepreneurs, smart people, go getters- people who think big. 

He liked that I was also a entrepreneur, and he loved to talk about work. He would give me advice and new ideas of things I could do. He pushed me to do better. 

I’m not a typical entrepreneur though. I didn’t venture forth with twinkling eyes- filled with ideas about changing the world. It was my sister’s idea to start it, and I went along because I liked not working for a boss. I like making things. I was the creative type, the work horse, the factory worker. I like to work and I want to do well, but maybe I’m just missing some gung-ho “I’m the best out there, and people love me” kind of vibe. 

I’m terribly insecure. 

I didn’t like talking about work with him. Compared to his business, we were a drop in the pond. He had started young, dropped out of college, bootstrapped the company and everything. For my sister and I, it was our first year of actually making any money, which even then was not much, On top of that we had issues with inventory, delays, and various mistakes that two non-business savvy people will make when they’re starting a company. Plus we were scared, risk-adversed and timid - not the kind of attitude you need to grow a successful business. 

I grew up poor. Maybe not dirt poor, or homeless, or surviving on food stamps poor. My parent’s were hardworking immigrants who never had a chance to make much money. My dad never even went to high school thanks to the communist revolution. He worked in construction even though he was really an artist at heart. My mom married my dad, a stranger ten years her senior, to move to America, and she went to learn accounting at city college to get a job. It’s amazing really, what they accomplished, but we never had much money growing up.

He on the other hand, had two well educated, tech industry parents and grew up in a wealthy suburb. 

Like most people who grew up poor, I never liked money, wasn’t particularly good with money, other than saving it (or rather hoarding it like a camel who doesn’t know where they’ll find water next), and never had confidence in my fiscal intelligence. 

So when he told me I needed to do more, I felt like he was calling me stupid. When he told me I should work faster before competition came after us, I felt like he was calling me lazy. When he asked if I felt pressure, and if the pressure pushed me harder, I felt weak. 

It’s not his fault that I didn’t want to talk to him. I never told him these things. 

Instead I got upset, asked him to stop, and to calm down on how much we talked about work. This ate away at his soul. It was his favorite thing, and it was so rare for us to be both in this position. It should be a goldmine of topics to talk endlessly about. But i shut the door on him. 

These days I can’t stop thinking about where it all went wrong. I wonder if I had been more confident, really talked about how I felt about work and money, been proud of what I had done, been OK with where my company was because I knew eventually it would grow, if he would have fed off of these conversations. I wonder if he would have fallen in love. 

I have crazy fantasies about texting him, or calling him. Sometimes I run into him on the street, maybe at a coffee shop - even though both of us don’t drink coffee. I’ve daydreamed about emailing him voice recordings of me reading the book he gave me, and he would listen to my voice and miss me. 

I can’t seem to eat anymore, so I guess I’m finally going on that diet I’ve been meaning to go on. I’ve been waking up early and working out. I’ve been doing yoga and reading articles about overcoming insecurity and building self-confidence. I can’t sleep, so I stay up reading about hydroponics and aquaponics, and homelessness- all topics we used to talk about. 

I dream about months later, how I will get a text from him. We reconnect and meet to have dinner, I’d show off how beautiful I’ve become. How much knowledge I’ve gained. How well work is going. My new found confidence.

And he would find me so dazzling he wouldn’t be able to resist taking me back. 

[itsfinancethings]

On Tuesday, House Democrats unveiled two articles of impeachment against President Donald Trump, marking only the fourth time in American history that a President has faced impeachment charges. They included two specific accusations — one of abusing the power of his office and another of obstructing Congress’s investigation into his relationship with Ukraine — that fall under the umbrella of “high crimes and misdemeanors.”

If the Judiciary Committee approves the articles of impeachment and they move to the House floor for a vote, the 435 members of the House of Representatives will have to look at the evidence presented by the impeachment inquiry and decide whether Trump has committed impeachable offenses. If the House of Representatives votes to impeach, the Senate will then vote on whether to convict or remove the President from office.

According to the U.S. Constitution, a President can be impeached for committing “Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.” Treason and bribery are relatively clear, but what exactly are “high crimes and misdemeanors”? The answer, it turns out, is complicated, and has been evolving for hundreds of years.

Here’s what to know about the history of high crimes and misdemeanors.

What are high crimes and misdemeanors?

The phrase “high crimes and misdemeanors” appears in Article II section 4 of the U.S. Constitution:

The President, Vice President and all Civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.

While he was in Congress, before becoming President through a different series of unusual Constitutional processes, Gerald Ford offered a famously cheeky explication of that sentence: “An impeachable offense is whatever a majority of the House of Representatives considers it to be at a given moment in history.” But most legal scholars disagree.

“I think that’s a little glib,” says Tom Ginsburg, a law professor at the University of Chicago Law School. “There’s an element of it which its true, but there is some content to the standard. Congress isn’t just making things up. There’s a consistent set of precedents now.”

There are currently two major legal disputes over the definition of “high crimes and misdemeanors.” The first is whether or not something in that category actually has to be a crime. Frank Bowman, a law professor at the University of Missouri School of Law and the author of High Crimes & Misdemeanors: A History of Impeachment for the Age of Trump, tells TIME he believes it doesn’t. “The defenders of the impeached officer always argue, always, that a crime is required,” he says. “And every time that misconception has to be knocked down again.”

He offers this example: “Let’s say the President were to wake up tomorrow morning and says, ‘All this impeachment stuff is kind of getting on my nerves. I think I’m going to go to Barbados for six months. Don’t call me, I’ll call you,’ and just cuts off all contact and refuses to do his duty,” Bowman theorizes. “That’s not a crime. It’s not violating a law. But could we impeach him? Of course we could — otherwise what’s the remedy? We have a country without a President.”

The second legal dispute is over whether all crimes are impeachable: If a President broke a law but it didn’t relate to his or her office, can that person still be impeached? This question came up prominently during the impeachment of President Bill Clinton, whom a judge determined to have lied under oath.

To understand the answer to both questions, constitutional scholars recommend we look to history.

Paul Richards—AFP via Getty ImagesMembers of the House Judiciary Committee discuss articles of impeachment against US President Bill Clinton Dec. 11, 1998, on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C.

What’s the Constitutional history of the term?

The concept of impeachment was used by the British Parliament as early as 1376, as a legislative safeguard against overreach by the aristocracy, and the terms in question were part of the process early on.

“In England a lot of the impeachment cases had relied on this language of ‘high crimes and misdemeanors’ from the 1640s onward,” Bernadette Meyler, a law professor at Stanford Law School, explains.

But the phrase didn’t have a set definition in British practice; it was used to describe whatever thing the person was being impeached for, according to Bowman. There were several things for which people were impeached during this era: ordinary crimes, treason, corruption, abuse of power, ordinary incompetence and misbehavior in relation to foreign policy. Notably, the King could not be impeached.

When the framers of the U.S. Constitution realized they needed a way to remove executive officials who abused the nature of their positions, they decided to add a definition for an impeachable offense. Though many suggestions were made at the Constitutional Convention in 1787, by the end of the summer they’d winnowed it down to two examples: treason and bribery.

But George Mason of Virginia took issue with limiting it to the two definitions, arguing they were too narrow. At the same time the Constitution was being drafted, newspapers were covering the impeachment of a statesman named Warren Hastings for misconduct during his time the Governor General of India. Mason pointed out that under their current definition, Hasting wouldn’t be impeachable. Mason suggest they broaden the definition to include “maladministration,” meaning mismanagement or ineffective governance. James Madison argued back that the word would be too broad, and make it so the President would be serving at the “pleasure of the Senate.” He worried Senators could remove the President if they disliked a policy move.

George Mason then proposed including the phrase “high crimes and misdemeanors” instead, and that’s the term they settled on.

To understand what the framers thought “high crimes and misdemeanors” meant, Harvard Law professor Jennifer Taub points to Alexander Hamilton’s Federalist Paper No. 65, in which he explains the impeachment process. “The subjects of its jurisdiction are those offenses which proceed from the misconduct of public men, or, in other words, from the abuse or violation of some public trust,” Hamilton wrote in 1788.

Get your history fix in one place: sign up for the weekly TIME History newsletter

How has ‘high crimes and misdemeanors’ been used throughout American history?

The very first federal official to face impeachment was a Senator from Tennessee named William Blount. Blount had conspired to help the British conquer the Spanish-controlled territory of West Florida; the House of Representatives impeached him once he was discovered, but the Senate expelled him instead of voting on to convict him. This move by the Senate set a precedent that members of Congress aren’t impeachable under the Constitution — only federal judges and executive branch officials.

The first person who was successfully impeached and removed was federal judge named John Pickering in 1803. He was impeached because, as the University of Missouri’s Bowman says, “He was both an alcoholic and probably insane.” Bowman points out that neither was a crime, but led him to abuse his office.

Only 19 people have been impeached in the U.S. since 1788: Two Presidents, one Senator, one Secretary of War and 15 federal judges.

“These tend to be things about a violation of public trust, acting for personal gain and obstructing the process of impeachment itself,” explains Tom Ginsburg.

For an exhaustive history of impeachment, Kermit Roosevelt, a law professor at the University Pennsylvania Law School, points to the 1974 House Judiciary Committee report on the “Constitutional Grounds for Presidential Impeachment,” which was released amid the inquiry into former President Richard Nixon. The report examined the long history of impeachment — tracing it back to Britain — and concluded that “The framers understood quite clearly that the constitutional system they were creating must include some ultimate check on the conduct of the executive, particularly as they came to reject the suggested plural executive.”

One of the most important precedents the report looked at was the very first presidential impeachment.

President Andrew Johnson’s impeachment

Andrew Johnson was the first of two U.S. Presidents to be impeached. Nine of the eleven articles of impeachment against him related to violating the Tenure of Office Act but, Bowman says, “The real reason was a deep disagreement between the President and Congress about reconstruction after the Civil War.”

Johnson became President after President Abraham Lincoln was assassinated. He was a unionist but also a Southern Democrat who was fine with a swift reconciliation with the South, without much social reform or protection for freed slaves. The Republican-controlled Congress deeply disagreed, and worried that Johnson was firing cabinet officials from the Lincoln Administration to replace them with officials more partial to his vision of Reconstruction. The Republicans promptly passed the Tenure of Office Act, which barred the President from firing certain executive branch officials without senatorial approval. It explicitly made the offense a “high misdemeanor.” “That was not an accident,” says Frank Bowman.

In 1868, after Johnson fired the Secretary of War, Edwin Stanton, the House of Representatives promptly impeached him. The case went to the Senate, where he came one vote away from being convicted and removed.

President Richard Nixon’s resignation

In 1974, President Richard Nixon faced impeachment charges of “high crimes and misdemeanors” after it was revealed that he directed people to break into the headquarters of political opponents and then used his law enforcement power to cover it up.

“That’s not treason and it’s not bribery, but it is a corrupt use of the powers of office in a way that undermines the constitutional system,” Richard Primus, a professor of law at the University of Michigan Law School, explains.

Three articles were approved by the Judiciary Committee but Nixon resigned before the House took the full vote. But, as Bowman explains, scholars still tend to treat the articles of impeachment brought against him as important precedent. He was charged with obstruction of justice, abuse of power and contempt of Congress. While Nixon did commit crimes, Bowman adds, none of the articles were framed in relation to the specific criminal statutes he broke. They are all framed in terms of the President’s violation of his oath of office.

Getty ImagesA demonstration outside the Whitehouse in support of the impeachment of President Nixon (1913 – 1994) following the Watergate revelations.

President Bill Clinton’s impeachment

President Bill Clinton was impeached in 1998 on two counts of “high crimes and misdemeanors”: lying under oath and obstruction of justice. The charges emerged after Clinton denied having had a sexual relationship with White House intern Monica Lewinsky in the course of a civil sexual harassment lawsuit against against Clinton by Paula Jones.

Stanford’s Meyler explains that the Clinton impeachment caused debate among scholars because “some people felt that, look, there’s a crime, but not every crime rises to the level of an impeachable offense. This wasn’t something that really pertained to the office, and so therefore it didn’t rise to the level of an impeachable offense.” But others argued that since a crime was clearly committed, that was enough for impeachment.

The Senate acquitted Clinton.

How has the meaning of ‘high crimes and misdemeanors’ changed over the years?

Unlike other parts of the Constitution, there’s no opportunity for the Supreme Court to interpret “high crimes and misdemeanors” and give a concrete definition. In the opinion of Erwin Chemerinsky, the Dean of the University of California Berkeley School of Law, that leaves Americans to look to how it’s been used over history. “I’d say the one thing that is shown by past practice is, it doesn’t have to be a crime,” he says. “It’s about a serious abuse of power.”

Chemerinsky argues that President Trump’s impeachment is similar to Clinton’s in that there isn’t much confusion as to what happened, but there is a great deal of disagreement about how to think about those events. The President’s own summary of his phone call shows him asking for “a favor” from the President of Ukraine, and Trump’s Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney later said that it was a quid pro quo and told people to “get over it.” The question that remains, he believes, is whether what happens constitutes “high crimes and misdemeanors.”

Others feel differently. George Washington University Law School professor Jonathan Turley, who was called to testify about the definition of impeachable offenses by Republicans on the Judiciary Committee, testified that “the use of military aid for a quid pro quo to investigate one’s political opponent, if proven, can be an impeachable offense,” but that there is not enough evidence to prove President Trump did so.

Such disagreement is not surprising, but Chemerinsky urges observers not to panic over the discord around impeachment in Washington.

“The framers of the Constitution knew that ultimately this would be a political process,” he says. “And so none of us should be shocked or upset that it’s a political process today.”

[marcusssanderson]

50 Truth Quotes Celebrating Honesty and Communication

Our latest collection of truth quotes to inspire honesty and genuineness.

Consistently telling the truth is not always easy. Sometimes lying might feel like the best option. However, the benefits of always being honest with people far outweigh any short term advantages of lying.

As you’ll discover from the truth quotes below, being honest is beneficial, not only to you but also to the people around you. When you embrace truth, it earns you the respect and trust of others, makes you feel better about yourself, and helps you attract better friends.

Besides, telling the truth is mentally easier – if you tell too many lies, it will be hard for you to keep up with what you have said. Concealing a truth can lead to anxiety, stress, and depression.

It does not take long for people to figure out dishonesty. But if you always speak the truth, people will know it sooner and look at you with respect. Being honest and truthful helps build strong credibility. It also results in a clean conscience, which is one of the requirements of happiness.

Although being 100% honest is almost impossible, the truth quotes below will help stop you from lying about things. Telling the truth is self-empowering and incredibly positive, so we should all make it a priority.

Below is our collection of inspirational, wise, and positive truth quotes, truth sayings, and truth proverbs, collected from a variety of sources over the years.

Truth quotes celebrating honesty and communication

1.) “Beauty is truth’s smile when she beholds her own face in a perfect mirror.” – Rabindranath Tagore

2.) “Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” – Bob Marley

3.) “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” – Thomas Jefferson

4.) “We learned about honesty and integrity – that the truth matters… that you don’t take shortcuts or play by your own set of rules… and success doesn’t count unless you earn it fair and square.” – Michelle Obama

5.) “The truth is, we all face hardships of some kind, and you never know the struggles a person is going through. Behind every smile, there’s a story of a personal struggle.” – Adrienne C. Moore

6.) “No legacy is so rich as honesty.” – William Shakespeare

7.) “I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality… I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

8.) “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.” –  Albert Einstein

9.) “Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.” – Buddha

10.) “There’s nothing so kingly as kindness, and nothing so royal as truth.” – Alice Cary

Truth quotes to inspire honesty and genuineness

11.) “I’m for truth, no matter who tells it. I’m for justice, no matter who it’s for or against.” – Malcolm X

12.) “Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain’t goin’ away.” – Elvis Presley

13.) “We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality.” – Iris Murdoch

14.) “The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.” – Winston Churchill

15.) “I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts.” – Abraham Lincoln

16.) “Truth is ever to be found in simplicity, and not in the multiplicity and confusion of things.” – Isaac Newton

17.) “Be Impeccable with Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.” – Don Miguel Ruiz

18.) “There is no greatness where there is no simplicity, goodness and truth.” – Leo Tolstoy

19.) “Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.” – W. Clement Stone

20.) “A great man does not seek applause or place; he seeks for truth; he seeks the road to happiness, and what he ascertains, he gives to others.” – Robert Green Ingersoll

Truth quotes that will inspire you to always be truthful

21.) “The truth is not for all men, but only for those who seek it.”  – Ayn Rand

22.) “To live in the light of a new day and an unimaginable and unpredictable future, you must become fully present to a deeper truth – not a truth from your head, but a truth from your heart; not a truth from your ego, but a truth from the highest source.” – Debbie Ford

23.) “For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth.” – Bo Bennett

24.) “Morality is the basis of things and truth is the substance of all morality.” – Mahatma Gandhi

25.) “If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.” – Albert Einstein

26.) “Honest communication is built on truth and integrity and upon respect of the one for the other.” – Benjamin E. Mays

27.) “Our duty is to encourage everyone in his struggle to live up to his own highest idea, and strive at the same time to make the ideal as near as possible to the Truth.” – Swami Vivekananda

28.) “The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect.” – Brene Brown

29.) “You can hate me. You can go out there and say anything you want about me, but you will love me later because I told you the truth.” – Mary J. Blige

30.) “The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge and the dissemination of truth.” – John F. Kennedy

Truth quotes to help you live a happier, less anxious life

31.) “Truth is the torch that gleams through the fog without dispelling it.” – Claude Adrien Helvetius

32.) “Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.” – Arthur Conan Doyle

33.) “Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.” – Henry David Thoreau

34.) “Truth is so rare that it is delightful to tell it.” – Emily Dickinson

35.) “A dog barks when his master is attacked. I would be a coward if I saw that God’s truth is attacked and yet would remain silent.” – John Calvin

36.) “Let us dream of tomorrow where we can truly love from the soul, and know love as the ultimate truth at the heart of all creation.” – Michael Jackson

37.) “To love our neighbor as ourselves is such a truth for regulating human society, that by that alone one might determine all the cases in social morality.” – John Locke

38.) “Let the future tell the truth, and evaluate each one according to his work and accomplishments. The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine.” – Nikola Tesla

39.) “The earth is supported by the power of truth; it is the power of truth that makes the sun shine and the winds blow; indeed, all things rest upon truth.” – Chanakya

40.) “Stop holding your truth; speak your truth. Be yourself. It’s the healthiest way to be.” – Tiffany Haddish

Truth quotes to help you create deeper connections with people

41.) “I believe there’s an inner power that makes winners or losers. And the winners are the ones who really listen to the truth of their hearts.” – Sylvester Stallone

42.) “On the mountains of truth, you can never climb in vain: either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow.”  – Friedrich Nietzsche

43.) “There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth.” – Charles Dickens

44.) “Nothing is more noble, nothing more venerable than fidelity. Faithfulness and truth are the most sacred excellences and endowments of the human mind.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

45.) “Seek not greatness, but seek truth and you will find both.” – Horace Mann

46.) “Every Christian must be convinced of his fundamental and vital duty of bearing witness to the truth in which he believes and the grace that has transformed him.” – Pope John XXIII

47.) “Truth is the ultimate power. When the truth comes around, all the lies have to run and hide” –  Ice Cube

48.) “I know where I’m going and I know the truth, and I don’t have to be what you want me to be. I’m free to be what I want.” – Muhammad Ali

49.) “Life is an unfoldment, and the further we travel the more truth we can comprehend. To understand the things that are at our door is the best preparation for understanding those that lie beyond.”  – Hypatia

50.) “Free expression is the base of human rights, the root of human nature and the mother of truth. To kill free speech is to insult human rights, to stifle human nature and to suppress truth.” – Liu Xiaobo

Which of these truth quotes resonated with you best

Telling the truth makes life easier for everyone. When you’re honest and truthful, you need only remember one version of each event.

If you always speak the truth, people will find it easy to trust you and look at you with respect. You’ll create deeper connections with people and you won’t have to remember your lies.

Honesty and seeking the truth is always the way to go. Hopefully, the truth quotes above have inspired you to always be honest.

Which of these truth quotes resonated with you best? Do you have any other favorite quotes to add to the list? Let us know in the comment section below.

The post 50 Truth Quotes Celebrating Honesty and Communication appeared first on Everyday Power.

[ourmrmel]

Mel Feller, MPA, MHR, Discusses Branding Basics

Mel Feller, MPA, MHR, Discusses Branding Basics.

 Mel is the President/Founder of Mel Feller Seminars with Coaching for Success 360, Inc. and Mel Feller Coaching.  Mel Feller maintains offices in Texas and in Utah.

  Branding is the process by which you try to become the first business a person thinks of when they consider buying goods or services in your category. If you can "own" a word in the public's mind, you have a huge competitive advantage.

  Branding is the process by which you attempt to differentiate your business from your competitors. Just as a brand will allow your horse to be recognized among the rest of the herd, so too must your business's brand set you apart. Although your name and logo are important features of your brand, there is a lot more to it than that.

  You Must "Own" Your Category in the Minds of Your Customers

  The absolute best way to create a brand is to invent a new product or service. Being first to market is a huge advantage. Coca-Cola has turned its "secret formula" into a 70% market share of cola drinks worldwide.

  However, most of us run businesses in categories filled with competitors. What is the best way for us to create a strong brand?

 The secret lies in narrowing the focus of your business until you have created a new category you can be first in.

  From Ford to BMW

 Consider the auto industry. Henry Ford did not invent the automobile, but he was the first to combine it with an assembly line. That reduced his costs enough so that millions could afford a car. Being first with an affordable car allowed Ford to dominate the category, even though there were literally hundreds of car companies in the U.S. by 1910. That is a powerful brand!

  So how did other auto manufacturers develop successful brands? By creating new categories in the mind of the buying public. If you are in the market for a "safe" car, Volvo is probably the first brand to pop into your mind. If you are looking for the "ultimate driving machine," BMW owns that category. Buyers shopping for a high-priced luxury car think Mercedes Benz.

  Notice that none of these companies is trying to be all things to all people. They narrowed their focus until they had a new category they could be first in. Even though other car companies could make claims about the safety of their cars, it is unlikely they are going to supplant Volvo in the public's mind. Volvo "owns" the safe car category.

  Two Fast Food Examples

  When Tom Monaghan owned a small pizza restaurant near a college campus, he started asking his customers what changes they would like to see in his business. Did they want a higher quality pizza? No, the quality was fine. Did they want a cheaper pizza? No, the price was fair.

  What they really wanted was a pizza that came to them. Thus, Domino's Pizza created the new category of pizza delivery, and even though others offer the same service, being first allows Domino's to enjoy a dominant share of the market.

  Little Caesars saw another opportunity. If they focused on take-out pizza, they could save money on delivery and a large restaurant. That would allow them to make money even if they sold two pizzas for the price of one. Pizza. Pizza. Brilliant.

  Apply These Ideas to Your Business

  If you are trying to grow your business, it might seem logical to expand your offerings, but that is unlikely to be successful in the end. As these few examples have shown, it is often better to narrow your focus until you have created a new category you can be first in. If you are a specialist, people will regard you as more of an expert, in your field rather than a generalist.

  Let us say you are a photographer. If you live in a town or city of any size, you no doubt have lots of competition. Look around for the opportunities to separate yourself from the herd. Maybe you could become known as the only one in town to call for action shots during kids' athletic games. Alternatively, maybe you specialize in soft-focus sepia-toned photos of mother and child. Fly anglers. Architectural details. Even though you have narrowed your pool of prospects, you have also eliminated most of your competition.

  Our photographer could expand her business while maintaining focus by publishing a book, printing greeting cards and calendars, or teaching lessons, all in her specialized area.

 She will know she has created a powerful brand when her name is the first one to pop onto a parent's head when they want a "hero shot" of their young soccer player.

  Publicity First, Advertising Later

  One of the great benefits of being first in a new category is that you become newsworthy. Newspapers and magazines, TV and radio are always looking for "something new under the sun."

 Remember Pet Rocks? This small outfit gained international coverage, all of it free, for their unique idea. Millions of Pet Rocks were sold with virtually no advertising costs.

  Advertising alone is rarely enough to create a new brand, although many businesses try that route. Remember the Super Bowl of a few years ago when the media was filled with stories about the millions that were spent on 30-second ads? This was supposed to be the launching of several new dot com businesses and the amount of money spent to launch these brands was incredible. In spite of all that money and the creative efforts of Madison Avenue's finest minds, those businesses failed quickly and are totally forgotten about today.

  A better path is the one followed by Google, the world's most popular search engine. Google was not the first search engine, but they created a new way to rank web sites that garnered them huge amounts of free publicity.

  General meaning of the Brand is quite abstract. In short, brand is the image of your product, if we speak about product branding and/or the image of your company if we deal with corporate branding or, in case with one-person business, brand of personality.

  Since the majority of online venture start-ups are represented by small businesses, that are 101% online and the life cycle of digital products is relatively short, it is wise to unite these branding terms into one e-business brand, that reflects market's viewpoint on your business as an unique entity.

  This viewpoint exists in peoples' minds whether they are your competitors, clients, partners, friends or your own employees. That is why your brand is psychological by its nature, what creates new challenges as well as additional potential.

   Strong brand in the mind of a person generates honoring feeling to your company/product or you as a company's "face".

  Poor brand may represent negative impression about your product or be the result of an absence of that impression, and I should say that it is much more advantageous to offer a new brand to the market, and then try to do something with bad image. Since we are dealing with psychology, it is clear that good image and reputation is very hard to build, but it is even harder to restore.

 If you want to reach the heart of your customers' "likes”, you need to:

 * Offer maximum quality no matter what you offer or do.

* Deliver pleasure.

* Be innovative.

* Address to people's emotions.

* Evoke desire and interest.

* Provoke active response.

* Build trust by repeated contacts as a foundation of long-term relations.

  FACTORS that would STIMULATE and REINFORCE your BRANDING:

 Unique Selling Proposition (USP) is number one passive"brander" for your business, where you go UP (Unique Proposition) the straight road of successful branding or making your way through a very deep forest of competing with other already established brands.

  Suppose you have created new proposition, new kind of service and if you have named it, for instance, "Web Sky Nights", then all people would call it "Web Sky Nights", not "A service that offers you 1. . 2. . 3.. and provides 1. 2.. 3.." It would have a neutral brand from the very beginning, no need to create, imagine or popularize it among hundreds of others.

  Windows is a TM and great Brand for Operation System of well-known software giant. Do not think about what makes us pronounce "Windows" instead of "Operational system" or "OS"? The answer is simple - Windows occupies more than 60% of OS market. Microsoft's OS in the informational society plays the same role that would have played some imaginable Oil Monopoly in the former industrial society. I hope that there is no oil monopoly but there is a monopoly of the software "fuel" which is used by majority of computer systems.

  The idea behind Microsoft is also true with McDonalds, Coca Cola or Mercedes-Benz and it is on the surface - they are monopolies or, at least, oligopolies in their respective markets with their respective strong USPs and therefore strong brands.

  So let us summarize an important fact - the more unique your market offer is, the more unique, easy to remember and easy to associate with your brand will be.

  The second thing is the size of your business in terms of financial capacity and market share. Very few people pointing to that fact, but its effect on your brand should not be underestimated. No matter what product you offer to the online market, it will surely lose the brand war, if your marketing budget is $00.00 and your whole business is located on some unknown unstable hosting because of funds deficit.

  Everyone speaks about great brands like Coca Cola, but no one actually says, that it makes absolutely no relation to an entrepreneur, who wants to start his own small practice online.

  Know your competition and develop the marketing strategy that would reflect your business capacity, needs and suit a marketing budget. The smaller your business is, the more aggressive your branding should be. Branding has a feature of building itself when your business is rapidly expanding.

  Corporate culture is another vital brand creator. The epicenter of your brand is the company itself; therefore the more positive and brighter the company "feels" inside, the more positive, attractive and shiny it will look outside.

  If your online venture's stuff numbers you and your cat at 0 you can easily build a delightful business culture but, to your regret, it won't have a big influence on outside world.  What will have an effect is the popularizing of your business values through partner networks and/or clients.

 Friendly atmosphere that welcomes employees' or partners' creative initiative with the focus on development of personality, is exactly what makes a difference and lights a "fire" in the eyes of every person your company deals with.

  Know your market. This small sentence comprises an understanding of the needs of your market niche, satisfaction of your market needs via directed promotional campaigns, adopting the development plan in compliance with analysis of the strength and weaknesses of your business as well as closest competitors.

   Do not devaluate your brand through wrong market approach.  People pay much more attention to their own needs as well as to companies that satisfy their needs. The market offers should be specific and directed to particular niche with its unique problems, joys, hopes and needs. Do not try to shoot several birds with one shot.

  Your branding campaign should reflect the market you are working with in a clear and highly beneficial way to your potential customers.

  MAJOR WAYS of online branding:

  All possible kinds of online promotion: banner impressions, classified ads, solo ads, articles submission, web-site traffic building, opt-in email campaigns, promotional joint ventures, ezine publishing, viral marketing. All these ways of branding positioning are to be niche-oriented.

 Expand your e-business network by running partner/affiliate programs.

 Co-branding by means of strategic partnerships, joint ventures with the established brands in non-competing markets, for additional market and branding exposure.

 Unique personal and/or corporate culture.

 Informational and design representation of your business Web site.

 The product/service itself. It is mainly through them your clients acquiring positive or negative experience of dealing with your company.

 Domain name, design, logo, motto, TMs, SMs are the main subsidiary representatives of your brand. That is why they should be clear and supplement each other in conveying your "message".

 Testing and measuring the response rate of your branding efforts.

  Why branding is so important? Because it, firstly, creates a platform via loyal market surroundings for easy and quick business growth; secondly, increases perceived value of your whole company. Do you want your own company to develop smoothly along with exponential growth of its market value?  I know I do!

     Mel Feller, MPA, MHR, is a well-known real estate, business consultant, personal development consultant and speaker, specializing in performance, productivity, and profits. Mel is the President/Founder of Mel Feller Seminars with Coaching For Success 360, Inc. and Mel Feller Coaching, a real estate and business specific coaching company. His three books for real estate professionals are systems on how to become an exceptional sales performer. His four books in Business and Government Grants are ways to leverage and increase your business Success in both time and money! His book on Personal Development “Lies that Will Sabotage Your Success”. Mel Feller is in Texas and In Utah.  Currently an MBA Candidate.

[apathetic-revenant]

k got more Weirdmageddon thoughts

(same disclaimer as before. no idea if this is relevant to anyone.)

this is the Stan and Ford edition.

obviously at the time everything goes down their relationship is not in a great place. all throughout Weirdmageddon Stan is pretty pissy at Ford and keeps bringing up how he bears a lot of responsibility for what happened and questioning how much use Ford is actually going to be in defeating Bill. he’s so angry that he’s still demanding gratitude from Ford even at an incredibly crucial moment that decides the fate of the world. he acts resentful of the attention and prioritizing Ford and how everyone is ignoring his role in bringing Weirdmageddon about in the first place, even though at that point prioritizing Ford is a matter of basic practicality since he’s the only one that has the knowledge to defeat Bill.

there are some layers here, I think. 

so here’s a thing: that I can recall, and that we see, between the initial conversation in A Tale of Two Stans and that moment in Weirdmageddon Part 3, Stan doesn’t push Ford for a ‘thank you’. obviously he’s not getting on real well with his brother during that time but he’s not hounding him for gratitude or apology. he acquiesces without argument when Ford says he’s throwing him out of the house at the end of the summer (yes, it’s Ford’s house, yes, Ford absolutely has the right to want it back, but Stan has nowhere else to go). he recognizes that Dipper and Ford are good for each other (at least in some ways) and lets them hang out under the caveat that Ford doesn’t get Dipper into trouble, which of course he does but that’s beside the point. Stan’s obviously got a lot of resentment towards Ford in the latter half of season 2 but it’s sort of quiet resentment. he’s not really trying to affect a change in Ford’s behavior towards him until that last moment.

so why does it all come to a head right then? could just be that it’s been building up for a while and ready to blow, and that’s obviously a very tense situation all around, and while I think that definitely had something to do with it I think also the events of Weirdmageddon really hit Stan in a sore point that was about more than just Ford being treated like the more important twin.

because from Stan’s perspective, Ford’s not just being treated like a hero and the guy who’s gonna save the day, etc, etc. he’s also being forgiven for his mistakes in a way that Stan is not, and never has been.

between the two of them, both Stan and Ford could be said to bear some responsibility for Weirdmageddon. Ford of course was the one who initially summoned Bill and built the portal, while Stan reactivated that portal to bring Ford back at great risk and cost. (of course, the person who’s actually responsible is Bill, but why put the blame where it rightfully belongs when we can have angsty family fun time.) they both made mistakes but they both had good(ish) reasons for that and they both tried to rectify them. but all that Ford will acknowledge to Stan is the mistake. that he, Stan, screwed up. now to be fair almost destroying the universe is a pretty big deal and I’d say Ford has justification for being a bit upset about Stan intentionally running that risk. but Ford doesn’t say “I understand why you did what you did but I wish you hadn’t because it was horribly dangerous”. he doesn’t say “I wish you hadn’t done what you did but I acknowledge that it would never have gotten to that point if I hadn’t also made mistakes.” he just says “you screwed up.” we know that Ford feels pretty horrible about his mistakes with Bill and he certainly suffered a lot for them, but he doesn’t communicate that to Stan.

then Weirdmageddon rolls around and once again, no one’s bringing up Ford’s role in it. granted Ford’s role in it isn’t exactly all that widely known, and also there’s no point in going on about it because the practical issue is that we need Ford to be alive and we can harangue him after the apocalypse is over, but from Stan’s perspective it must be hard not to see that as everyone glossing over Ford’s mistakes once again.

and that has got to be a sore point. I don’t think Stan’s resentment towards Ford really has all that much to do with Ford being the Smart twin or the Better twin. Stan has a really low opinion of himself and for a lot of his life he seems to pretty much accept that Ford is better than him. which is of course super unhealthy, but I don’t think it’s what drives that resentment. I think what bothers Stan most of all is that Ford is forgiven when Stan is not.

Stan made one very small mistake in a moment of anger and it cost him everything. he lost his whole family, his home, his future, his dreams, and had to live an absolutely miserable existence for ten years. his family wouldn’t forgive him that and even Ford wouldn’t forgive him that. and it’s worth pointing out that that mistake cost Stan way more than it cost anyone else; Ford didn’t get into his dream school but it doesn’t seem to have deterred him from doing what he wanted all that much, whereas Stan…well, you know what happened to Stan. but despite that Ford still doesn’t forgive Stan for what happened or even acknowledge that it was an honest mistake ten years later (although to be fair to Ford he was pretty preoccupied at the time). then Stan spends thirty years trying to bring Ford back and again, all he gets is more blame. when Stan wants Ford to thank him, I don’t think it’s just about wanting gratitude, wanting a “well done!” and a pat on the back, I think he wants Ford to just acknowledge that not everything he did was bad. that he screwed up but he also did something right. because that’s what Ford gets. Ford gets second chances but when Stan screws up no one will let him forget it.

this is, of course, an incomplete view of the situation on Stan’s part (then again, ‘an incomplete view of the situation’ could be the Pines family motto); like I said, he doesn’t know, at least at the time of Weirdmageddon, how much Ford has paid and is willing to pay for his mistakes. but I think it’s a view that has something to do with Stan’s attitude during Weirdmageddon, of why he’s so pessimistic about their chances with Ford’s plan because he knows that Ford can make mistakes and why does no one ever see that. and when it comes down to it he wants Ford to say thank you before he’ll take part in the plan because dammit all he’s ever been called, all he’s ever been allowed to be, is a screw-up, and now he’s literally part of a circle of chosen ones prophesied to save the world and he’s still being treated like nothing more than a screw-up and I think in that moment he’s saying, alright, you want me to be a part of this, then either I am worth something in which case you can bloody well acknowledge that for once, or I’m not in which case this plan is never going to work anyway so why are we bothering. 

(that is, of course, a terrible moment to bring that up. but you know what? I’ve snapped and stopped acting like a reasonable person from way less stress than the literal end of the world. so you know, I’m not sure I can entirely blame Stan (or Ford, for that matter) for flipping a gear at the wrong time after being in mortal peril and seeing horrific things and being beat up and exhausted for like a week.)

and you know, in a lot of ways, I think you could say the exact same thing about Ford, that his resentment comes from what he sees as Stan not owning up to his mistakes. when he calls Stan out for breaking his machine Stan basically shrugs that off and brings up something important to him. I wonder if things would have gone different if Stan hadn’t said the whole “hey, silver lining!” thing at that moment, if all he’d done was apologize sincerely. (note that I am not saying that that means what ultimately happens is Stan’s fault, just that he unintentionally exacerbated Ford’s anger right then.) Ford makes some big mistakes with Bill but he suffers a lot trying to undo them and then his brother just screws it up all over again and he wants Ford to be grateful? why can’t he admit that he did wrong by starting the portal again? 

both brothers make a lot of mistakes and they’re willing to do a lot to fix those mistakes but because of their terrible communication skills they never actually say “I’m willing to do a lot to fix my mistakes” so they just hate each other forever. 

and the thing is that their approaches here are kind of inverse. I think Ford thinks of his mistakes in a very personal way. like he screwed up, he trusted Bill, he was an idiot, and he beats himself up for that but he doesn’t really think of it in terms of like, how does that affect the people immediately around him. he thinks of it on a big scale-how he’s put, like, the entire universe in danger-but not in the sense of, I hurt these individual people. we see that with Stan but also kind of with Fiddleford and with the kids, especially Dipper. Ford’s self-centered not so much in like a “I genuinely think I’m the most important person ever” way, more in a way of genuinely being oblivious to the effect he has on people around him. Stan is the opposite: he���s got low self-esteem out the wazoo but he kind of just accepts that as a basic fact of the universe and carries on, he doesn’t like spend a lot of time crucifying himself for it if there’s something more important to do. but he’s sensitive to the people around him and how he’s affecting them (most of the time) and he’ll do things to try to fix that, even if not necessarily very well, but he doesn’t see the big picture as much which is why he risked so much to bring Ford back. you could say that in terms of recognizing their mistakes and their impacts on others, Ford is far-sighted and Stan is near-sighted. 

but I think that all comes to a head when Stan offers to get memory wiped to defeat Bill. because I think that’s the point when Ford realizes, really finally realizes, how far Stan is willing to go to fix things. up until then I don’t think he really got how low Stan’s self-esteem is, how much he’s willing to sacrifice. like we know that Stan sacrificed thirty years of his life to bring Ford back and we know that he was willing to fake his own death-he basically wiped out his own identity and figured well, it never did anyone any good anyway. but Ford could easily see that as Stan just wanting to take advantage of his brother’s good name and better position in life. we know Stan thinks of himself pretty lowly but without much perspective on that Ford could just think, he’d rather be a deadbeat than put any effort into making something of himself. on the surface Stan seems like he has an absolutely huge ego and Ford, being Ford and quite frankly terrible at reading people, could I think very easily buy into that, especially after forty years apart. (Headhunters is the perfect example of this; we see Stan seeming to just have the ultimate ridiculous ego trip over this wax statue of himself, and then later you find out about him and Ford and you realize…)

but in that moment? when Stan offers to swap? he knows. he knows that Stan is willing to make the ultimate self-sacrifice to save the day. he knows that Stan actually does think so little of himself that he considers the total loss of everything that makes him him to be no big deal. he knows that Stan is truly and utterly willing to go the utmost to fix his mistakes. but by that point there’s nothing he can do with that information except to effectively execute his own brother. 

and, at that point, they kind of swap perspectives. Ford is only seeing the small picture, the danger to the kids and Stan, and he’s willing to do something big and ridiculous and threatening to the whole world to prevent it. Stan sees the big picture, everything that’s at stake, and he knows he has to do something to fix that but ultimately his fix is on a pretty small scale: not a big prophecy, not a world-changing deal, just a short, simple con and the loss of one person. 

and afterwards? they both have new perspective. they both understand that when the chips are down both of them are truly willing to sacrifice everything. they both have a bit better understanding of the scale of their actions. Ford, especially, because not only did he gain perspective on what it’s like to lose a brother by your own hand, he gained perspective on Stan’s true character. so it’s significant that Ford is the one to reach out and try to fix things on a small scale, not a world-saving scale, not a cosmic scale, just a person-to-person scale. he validates Stan in the best way he can, he makes it clear that Stan is important, because not only did he not realize that but now he knows that Stan didn’t realize that either. 

what they end up doing is, I think, an important compromise between their two perspectives. they’re both acknowledging the things that are important to each other. Ford’s accepting the smaller scale of things, he’s not trying to be so important anymore, he still wants to carry on doing what he loves but he’s not trying to solve the fundamental secrets of the universe. he’s finally okay with the smaller perspective. and he acknowledges that while Stan’s dream might not be big in the way that his was it’s still important. and Stan is perfectly happy to let Ford nerd out as much as he wants as long as he doesn’t let it take over everything.

it took them almost seventy years but they got there in the end. 

[stunningcaptainswan]

Okay, for once and for all I just want to make something clear regarding my stance on the Colifer shipping issue because some people seem to have assumed that I ship it and maybe it was because I wasn’t clear enough. If you start reading this post, I would appreciate it if you read it until the very end because otherwise you may get the wrong idea and that is exactly what I am trying to clarify with this post.

I am structuring this in 3 parts as they are all related to my personal (and unpopular, it seems) position on Colifer shipping:

1) Real-life people shipping doesn’t necessarily have to be problematic

2) Essentialization of Colifer/real-life people shippers: judging an entire group of people for the acts of the bad apples

3) Idolization of actors and putting them on a pedestal

In the past I have talked about how I think real-life people shipping doesn’t necessarily have to be a problem. Why? Because if you ship two actors together, you can do so without harming any of the people involved, which means you have to:

a) keep it to yourself and/or to a private group of people you trust and feels the same

b) NEVER EVER EVER bring any of it up to anyone on social media, especially the actors involved. EVER. E-V-E-R.

c) NEVER EVER EVER hate on any of their significant others.

d) NEVER EVER EVER spread any rumors to feed your own wishes/fantasies

e) be a decent human being and be aware that your real-life people shipping requires you to have a lot of common sense and to know how to conceal your feelings.

I know that many seem to think that just shipping Jen and Colin together is disrespectful, but I don’t agree with that. Shipping itself is not the problem, the way people handle it is. That has always been my main point about this and what I stood for in the past and will always stand for. There are people who ship Colifer who do have common sense, manage to handle it in a way that does not disrespect/compromise Jen or Colin and never do a thing to harm them or their personal lives - because they follow all those guidelines so that nobody but themselves/their trusted group even knows about the shipping in the first place. I really don’t see how any of this is wrong or disrespectful when it does not affect any of the people involved. 

I get people saying “shame on you if you share/go to Jen and Colin with your Colifer fantasies”. I do not get those who say “shame on you if you ship Colifer”. The former rightly criticizes the way the Colifer shipping is (awfully) handled. The latter shames all those who ship it, including people who know how to behave. They’re different things and it seriously disturbs me this mentality of trying to control how people should/shouldn’t feel. As a fandom we do have a responsibility to try to control how people act, but not how they feel. If people want to ship a married man with his co-star, let them do their tinhatting if they must, but they should not be publicly shamed for that if (and only if) the way they act on it is absolutely harmless to the people involved.

I am aware that this, unfortunately, isn’t always the case as fandoms are filled with many people who have a problem controlling themselves and their feelings/emotions. There are many bad apples in the Colifer fandom, people whose actions seriously affect Jen and Colin because they don’t do any of the things listed above and act like total assholes. I will never ever support those who behave that way. I have been critical and 100% against this behavior in the past and I always will be, both here and on my Twitter account. However, that does not mean that I still agree with the way so many people in this fandom who know how to handle their Colifer shipping are judged/shamed for the behavior of the bad apples. We all agree that we shouldn’t judge an entire fandom for the acts of the BAs but that’s not what happens here. Colifer shippers are all immediately seen as the spawn of the devil. And, from the people I have talked to ever since I’ve joined the fandom, there seems to still be a considerate amount of CSers who ship Colifer and are too afraid to even talk about their friendship in fear of being misinterpreted by their fellow shipmates who are so intolerant and judgmental about the romantic shipping. I do not agree with an environment like this where people are made to feel like they are awful human beings when there are no consequences to their real-life shipping habits. That’s why you’ll see me talking against the way some CSers completely sideline/make other shippers feel like crap with what I consider to be narrow-minded beliefs as far as the Colifer thing goes.

Moving on to my last point: the idolization of actors and how fandom tends to put them on a pedestal. I have said many things in the past criticizing this common position many take when in a fandom and, apparently, some have interpreted that as a clear sign that I ship Colifer.

Whenever there’s talk/comments about Colifer shipping, I always see many people saying “Colin would never!” or “they wouldn’t do that!”, among other things that make it sound like the fans personally know Jen, Colin, their morals, values and who they are as people. I find that to be an extremely naïve position and a symptom of celebrity worship. Fans obviously don’t want Jen and/or Colin to be the kind of people who do that and so they just project their own beliefs/morals onto Jen and Colin. Again, if you think that neither would do that, fine, but acting as if you’re 100% sure they really would never do it is a stretch. It may lead to putting even more expectations on the actors’ shoulders (and sometimes standards that are impossible for them to meet) and then to disappointment on your part when they inevitably fall short. For all we know, Colin may be a jerk who cheats on his wife 24/7 and kicks puppies for fun. Jen may have affairs with married men on a daily basis and may slaughter baby pandas on her free time. Because we don’t actually know these people. Swearing on them and being so sure they would never [insert whatever action] is something I would never do. But ultimately that’s all on the fans, if they want to live in the illusion that Jen and Colin are perfect human beings who can do no wrong and are Gods on earth, okay. I’m just critical of such position, just as I am critical of all the obnoxious Colifer shippers who interpret everything as a sign that Colin and Jen are having an affair and share it with the whole world as if they had just struck gold (and if you check older posts and tweets of mine you’ll see it). Case in point: it seems to me that both “sides” are wearing different kinds of goggles - shipper goggles vs. celebrity worship goggles.

This means that if you ever see me using a tweet about Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford’s affair to say “wow, so married actors actually cheat on their wives with their co-stars??” I am not saying I believe this is what’s happening with Jen and Colin. It means I am being critical of the way most fans put Jen and Colin on such a high pedestal that a romantic involvement between them is deemed 100% impossible to happen - when other real life examples and statistics show that it is more common than the reaction of the fandom makes it out to be (shit happens in real life. Actually, it has happened on that same set in season 1 with Josh Dallas and Ginnifer Goodwin, but I digress). Arguing that it would never happen because “the actors would never do it” has no legitimacy whatsoever and comes from the fans’ own fantasies about who they want Jen and Colin to be as people. Which, to me, and following the same line of thinking that leads so many to condemn just the Colifer shipping itself (whether well-handled or not), is just as “bad” as assuming Jen and Colin are in love. I can give everyone a list with all the logical reasons that shut down pro-Colifer arguments but “Jen and Colin would never do it” isn’t one of them.

Having said that, do I believe Jen and Colin are in love and having an affair? No, I don’t.

Do I wish they were? No, I don’t.

Do I ship Colifer? No, I don’t.

Do I ship Colifer because I tag my Jen and Colin posts with ‘Colifer’? No, I don’t. I love ship names (and not all ship names have to have romantic connotations) and I’ll keep using this one to tag Jen and Colin’s friendship posts simply because I like it and I don’t care if some associate it with the romantic shipping of the two. I also tag my Jen and Josh posts with “JoshMo”, it doesn’t mean I think they’re having an affair either.

Finally, I won’t say Jen and Colin don’t look good together because they do. I think anyone who ships CS has to admit that because well… physically they look the same as CS, but I honestly can’t think of one thing that would make me want Jen and Colin to be together. 

I have shipped fictional couples in the past where the actors have also become involved in real life and in 99.9% of the cases, that ends up messing their onscreen dynamic, especially if something goes wrong (and that tends to be the case too). So I will always, always prefer the actors of the couples I ship to not have any sort of romantic involvement in real life because that way I know that behind the scenes drama will never affect what’s happening onscreen. As a fervent CSer who is only really invested in the fictional characters/couple, Jen and Colin getting together when there’s a marriage and a child involved would be the worst type of BTS drama ever and a total and absolute nightmare for my CS shipping heart. That’s why I am very thankful for the fact that they seem to be close friends and I hope it always stays that way. That, however, does not mean I am not capable of seeing some Colifer shippers being unfairly treated by the rest of the fandom and to feel the need to stick up for that minority, even if I don’t agree with them/share the same feelings. I don’t think it’s that difficult to understand.

Hope that’s clear now.

PS: I have talked about Colifer because that’s the reality I’m closest to, being a CS shipper. But everything I said about them applies to any real-life shipping pair, really, OUAT fandom or not.

[ecotone99]

[RO] Memoir of a Love Lost

It was the early 70’s, the age of free love, mind-blowing drug-induced revelations and the heartbreaking passing of Jimi Hendrix at age 27. A fierce war in some Asian hellhole, called Vietnam, momentarily dampened the birth of a new generation of narcissists. On this November evening, an unsympathetic glacial chill had begun to settle coexistent with a cloak of descending darkness on the all but invisible village of Elmira Heights. Yes, just another boring town in the thousands of boring settlements that dotted the bleak rural Southern Tier of New York State. Like so many other bucolic towns, people were born, selected a high school hump-mate, found a menial job at the local factory and did what was expected, get drunk on Friday nights and have meaningless lustful sex. Eventually, their destiny required immature females to pop out a couple of kids and subsist yielding to the next generation that would continue the right of brainless passage in the cycle of rural living. These were not people. They were church-going drones born of the ages, residing in forgetful villages full of forgetful people all devoid of personality and ambition.

All-day, flurries drifted aimlessly, bobbing and weaving directed by intermittent puffs of wind until gravity no longer affected their flights of freedom, eventually settling each randomly on a frosted landscape. For now, they presented a clean antiseptic outline of the frozen tundra. Bushes appeared as powder-puffs and trees glistened like gaudy Christmas trees as the headlights of my, bile green Ford, “pretend woody”, Station Wagon approached. It was the end of another mundane week, in a mundane town, all clearly augmenting my mundane life.

The year before, I moved to upstate New York from metropolitan New York City to work in the computer department of a food manufacturer. While both of these geographies have the words New York in common, they may as well be from different planets as nothing about either location were remotely similar. The mammoth facility was the largest food manufacturing plant in the world and was constructed in the “feral” village of Horseheads. In that sense, one could say Horseheads was the fraternal twin to Elmira Heights, both equally disappointing.

I was trekking to the Bun & Brew, my usual Friday, after-work watering hole to meet a gaggle of ignorant co-workers. Ignorant because as far as I knew, we were successful at concealing our intense and passionate affair. Before I decant my heart, I should explain the foundations of my belief system leading up to my account of that breathtaking evening.

At age 13, boys my age were archetypal snot-nosed, know-it-all brats stuffed with oozing juvenile hormones. I was different, I never knew why and I always assumed there were others like me, but, I never met any. At least those that were willing to cop to an unusual feminine sensitivity for a boy. I was exceptionally idealistic and believed that there could only be one true love, friend, companion and partner for life. Of course, I never considered that there were 3 billion people on the planet yielding approximately 1.5 billion females with a considerable number in the 14 to 20 age group, manifesting an incredible Google-like task to find the one and only true love. So, I rolled through my adolescent years holding fast to my belief, ricocheting around the dating scene making mistake after mistake until I finally got married and found myself entrenched in another mistake, a colossal blunder actually. Ironically, I had fallen prey to continuing in the very footsteps of the drone mentality and the brainless passage in the cycle of rural living. I am getting depressed recalling these dreadful memories of a haunted past. Pushing forward, I will attempt to translate the epiphany that abruptly interrupted my ordinary life on one Saturday evening.

It wasn’t until I was in my 60’s that I came to believe that every person is born with a genetic paring imprint, a template of sorts for love. For technical nerds, think of it as Bluetooth Device Pairing. People have often said that they believe in love at first sight. Back then, I didn’t subscribe to such a fantasy even as a remote possibility until I met her. She was a neighbor. Her father convinced me, one beer-drenched BBQ weekend, that she would be a great asset to the company where I worked. On a whim, I drove her to work one morning for a “meet and greet” interview. During the drive, we exchanged some pleasantries. That’s all it took, I was hooked on this magical presence sitting in the passenger seat. This deity had unknowingly aroused a surfeit of mind-blowing senses. She gripped me as smelling a rose for the very first time. I was spellbound from that instant and have been for the last 47 years. I actually knew love for the very first time, her name was Lynn. I suppose that qualifies for falling in love at first sight. And, although I didn’t know it at the time, she was my genetic pair.

Now, for the pairing to work the other person must possess an identical imprint. When the genesis of this magic occurs, two people, two hearts and two souls unite. This is as pure a love as any two humans can achieve. It was in this instant, this discovery, that I realized she would be my companion through life’s journey. Funny, it wasn’t until she recently confessed that she felt the same eternal attraction, moments after we first met, that I began to trust my breakthrough.

It may seem that I have wandered far afield from the ultimate thrust of this story but I needed to lay a foundation so you will understand the sad and lonely 43 year void between my goddess and her devout worshiper.

I left our favorite watering-hole, the Bun & Brew, first. It was about 9:30 as I can best recall. I sat in my car for about twenty to twenty-five minutes before Lynn appeared. She entered the passenger side, slid over beside me then leaned over and kissed me on my cheek. As if on a switch, a prickly, corporeal spasm jetted from my chest to my loin. She told me that everyone was pleasantly inebriated and most likely didn’t see her leave.

It’s not important how we got there, but about twenty silent minutes later we arrived at the Harris Hill lookout. Harris Hill was the highest point in the region and had a beautiful view of Elmira, the surrounding valley and the countryside. It was a secluded spot at night for lovers to park while enjoying the views, if that was important. For Lynn and me, it was a private place where we could talk about our lives and feelings while bringing to life the astonishing affection and intimacy we so splendidly enjoyed. Flurries were still meandering finding their cemetery on my warm windshield but before attaining their final death knell, they unknowingly exaggerated the glitter of the countless points of light on the valley floor.

I left the car running. We shed our winter garb and tenderly embraced for several minutes, silently drowning in our emotions. I’ve missed you, Lynn, I whispered and before my brain was engaged in any kind of consequential decorum, I softly said, I LOVE YOU. It just spilled out as suddenly as a glass accidentally knocked to the floor. It was awkward and thrilling and profound and liberating, all at once. I had finally revealed what I realized six months earlier when I first encountered this stunning creature. Lynn now knew. I was not embarrassed or ashamed. I said what my heart was aching, I LOVE YOU, Lynn! And, if she didn’t feel the same, well, that was OK. I had to tell her, lay truth to fact. And, if I had died in that instant, it would have been the happiest moment of my life. I had never felt anything that so overwhelmed my senses. I couldn’t breathe. Unknowingly, she had coexisted with my soul, the essence of my being. She was my reason for living and it has NEVER ceased, not once, not ever, not for a nanosecond of doubt.

During these exhilarating first seconds of finally revealing deeply suppressed feelings, she interrupted my fantasy, squeezed me tightly, and pulled back slowly. She looked into my eyes and silently mouthed the words, I LOVE YOU TOO. In the most tender and loving instant of my life, our lips gently engaged, then firmer until we were in a fully entwined passionate emersion, unlike anything humanly conceivable. The excitement and first real romance of that evening and my life will always remain as a wondrous implant. It was a joy that only two people in love can ever understand. For the next three inconceivably beautiful years, we experienced the growing intensity and unparalleled romantic pleasure each time we were together, until an unselfish event brought our time to an end, but never, never my love for her.

Now, these memories no longer lie gently on the pillow of my memory patiently waiting for a second chance. Life’s unpredictable nature has just reconnected and reignited our love lost.

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