#apply to your business

[ohitslen]

Living together.

The snail video if you are interested :)

[arotechno]

these tags have been bothering me for a few days now. i understand wanting some private time at home with your partner, but can you not see that this is EXACTLY the attitude i'm talking about?

does your third housemate ALSO get an allotted time where you and your partner have to leave, or is it only for you? is this something you coordinate on days when your housemate is already independently making other plans, or are you just expecting to be able to kick them out of the house at will like this is a college dorm room?

this isn't a situation where you are three equal parties building a life, this is you and your partner treating someone else like a third wheel you wish would go away and a money bank to help you pay your bills. if that works for all parties involved then it's no skin off my nose, but can't you see that this is literally not at all the situation that i was describing? i'll make a very personal post about how it hurts when people act like my housemates would be justified in trying to get rid of me and alloromantic people will literally be like "this sounds great—as long as i can get rid of you!" like do y'all hear yourselves. do you actually see the words when aros post or is it just static for you.

this is the way people talk about their children, how they want their children out of the house so they can have some alone time. not the way you should be talking about a fellow adult who literally pays for and whose name is on the deed of the house you all live in. aro people aren't housepets.

[martybaker]

Writing fanfiction be like

‘Haha this isn’t about me, it’s just a fun fantasy scenario I came up with’

And then you open that document again and stare into a mirror

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

tbh i think that even unwinnable fights should be winnable. some of the BEST fights i've ever run as a dm were ones i built kill the players (in a fun way. I had some cutscenes prepped so even the loss would be a different flavour of win)- but then they were clever bastards and managed to either win the fights or pull themselves out of trouble. I think it's perfectly fine to plan for a fight that players aren't supposed to win, but you need to let them. if they can't win, they can't lose, and the meaning of that encounter is diminished. do that too many times, and they stop trusting you to give them roleplay prompts and start expecting to sit there waiting while you drive the story for them.

but if they can win... if there is always the chance to win, no matter how impossible the odds, then they ALWAYS have hope. they always get invested. they feel the big emotions of success or the big emotions of failure, and you fucking Win as a dm/roleplay prompter/lead bastard.

[aftonsparv-bugzz]

i grew up with the mindset that "if i (an adult) cant do it, youcant" and i realise now how wrong and awful that mindset is. truly an ageist mindset. stop belittling young people because you believe they are lesser than you. young people can achieve many things, you just judge them for their age. instead of judging children , how about you judge your mindset and change it. learn that children can do things too, you just judge by age.

[mxtxfanatic]

Fandom Gripes #24: Fans acting like the act of interfering in a rapidly deteriorating situation with the intention of helping makes you not only a bad person but also just as bad as (or worse than) the person/people causing the bad situation has got to stop. Blaming mxtx protags for not successfully saving the people they tried to help despite directly helping while others were either 1) actively trying to kill the people the protags were trying to help or 2) passively watching as others actively tried to kill the people the protags were trying to help is like irl when a good Samaritan saves someone’s life but then get sued later because saving said person’s life left them with injuries. Which is why we now have to have Good Samaritan Laws in America to discourage people from deciding that saving a life isn’t worth the consequences.

[rykno-j]

A caretaker with the kink being torn between whether to nurse their littlepreciousbaby back to health or to grab them by the collar and fuck their delusional (from the fever) ass into oblivion. With kisses and a cold forehead pad after that, of course. (also tucked into the blanket)

As the seconds pass, each and every wet and desperate sneeze does nothing to curb the caretaker's urge. The gasps become louder and deeper, some even developing into hitches.

The tray of warm soup and medicine they are carryinf almost topple over as a flurry of itchy sneezes can be heard from down the hallway.

Even the slightest moans and groans exhaled with every congested breath are starting to sound sexual. Plot twist: What if they really are intended to be sexual?

Naturally, the caretaker feels feverish upon waking up the next day, limbs tangled with that of their beloved.

It was worth it though.

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Just a heads-up: This should be you right now, jews in my phone

[johannestevans]

i think that if you want to be involved in the remake of or an homage to a classic film you should have to sit an exam where you write or present 2-4 papers or presentations on core themes of the film and if you can't do that to a good standard you're not allowed

gatekeeping is good actually, if you care enough to remake a film you should like. understand what that film is about and why they made it the way they did, and why what you're going to do is different.

and if you can't do that then go do smth else

[londondziban]

in light of all the recent and incredibly disheartening discourse across my dash regarding aro and/or ace men, I raise all of you the question:

who are you to decide who is queer and who isn't? who are you to dictate who is "queer enough" for the community?

either educate yourself on identities you may not fully understand or shut the fuck up and mind your own fucking business.

your identity is not more important nor is it more queer than someone else's. your opinion on how someone else identifies and what their label means is not more important than the person who uses that label.

you do not get to decide who is welcome in the community and who isn't. check yourself.

[tiredtief]

bro not to be an SJW on main but that 'cissexual she/theys' tweet has really got some of you showing your entire asses when faced with the slightest pushback/criticism of something, why are you so pressed about making this community palatable to cishets instead of listening to your fellow queers when they ask you to reevaluate your language usage for five fucking seconds

[sqeeebus]

Saw a post about this and would like to share my take on it, no use clogging up this person’s tumblr and all that when I could just make my own point.

Big tw for non-con/rape, sexual abuse, etc

Besides, it doesn’t matter that much because this is a fictional character and not an actual person, so it’s nothing to really fight over— unless people who believe this actually support/enjoy/do non-con and other such gross things in real life, in which case— kindly omit yourself from this planet because you are sick and we don’t need people who actually find shit like this “hot” or would even do it themselves. Fuck you, I am a victim. If you like to believe this aspect is canon because it adds something for you (that is hopefully not erotic or romantic…) then do what you want, I guess. Not my thing, but I can just stay away from it so it’s not a big deal. Again, it is a fictional character but your opinions on what they do is REAL and can affect you and your actions.

Also when you post about that shit and justify it or whatever, you’re making multiple people feel unsafe and you’re making multiple rapists feel VERY safe, just so you know. So maybe make it clearer that you’re not about that in reality.

Anyway, all that done, let’s talk about the more specific and less important argument;

I see people so often characterize Hannibal as someone who is okay with or practices non-con and other such sexually heinous things, based on his attitude and actions in the show.

In my opinion, while we see Hannibal commit obviously horrible things— like murder and cannibalism, creating awful power imbalances and malpractices, as well as performing non-consensual and non-sexual actions on others— we don’t see him doing anything sexually heinous, and in my opinion I don’t believe he would do so.

For one, he encourages Margot to kill her abuser, Mason. Not that this isn’t a thing he would do regardless, but he also drugs and has Mason self-torture, paralyzes Mason to elongate his suffering and to also leave the revenge up to Margot herself, and even aids in the killing of Mason. We do know that he sexually violates Mason, but it isn’t for sexual motivation, as it is a clinical violation in order to harvest his sperm. I will admit, this is rather gross and sexually heinous, but not done for sexual pleasure or in support of sexual assault (rather the opposite I’d think).

This post I saw pointed out that Hannibal also said that he “liked this dragon” in regard to Francis Dolarhyde, who sexually assaulted his victims. This is a good point, and the only real opposition I have for this is that he only said so to get on Will’s nerves, or that he meant it in an entirely different way— that he’d like to kill the dragon/have Will kill the dragon, as that’s why he’d sent the man to his house in the first place (not knowing Will wouldn’t necessarily be there), because Francis already had a vendetta against Will and Hannibal would like to have Will get back into killing. I do know that Hannibal is well-aware of Francis’s crimes, as he reads about them through the paper and so I can’t say that he didn’t know about the necrophilic part of his killings, and that any of them very well could’ve been subject to it. I can only refute by saying he expected Will to kill Dolarhyde and “become the dragon” before any of that could happen.

Hannibal’s whole motto is “eat the rude” and I’d say people who commit sexually heinous crimes would be considered very rude, and he even seems to dislike them when they’re not even targeting himself.

This is not about projecting morality onto dark characters as much as it is my personal take and also to those who need to hear it: stop projecting your creepiness onto dark characters. They can be dark characters without being sexually disturbing.

I guess, personally, I’d just like to have a favorite character/favorite ship that does not perform/support sexual violations. Don’t know how you can fault me for that.

[cozylittleartblog]

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[softandwildx]

Hey this came up in my therapy group last night and it was a good reminder for me and I thought I'd share it with all my fellow chronic overthinkers and nervous systems <3

One of the most important pieces of advice I've ever received is to take people's words at face value. This ultimately means choosing to believe that people (generally) mean what they say, and doing your best not to "read between the lines" and let your anxieties and insecurities form unproven assumptions about someone's intentions.

It can be an extremely difficult skill to practice. It's taken me a literal decade to adhere to it and I'm still not perfect. But I promise you it's worth it. Setting your mind free of constant suspicions and expecting the worst from people is not naive, it's self-preservation. It can do wonders for your mental well-being.

And no, it doesn't mean you never listen to your intuition, or just blindly assume everyone everywhere is always telling you the truth and has only pristine outward intentions. It simply means that we can't truly get "bad vibes" from a text message, your close friends are almost 100% guaranteed to NOT be lying about wanting to hang out with you, a stranger giving you a compliment is probably not making a joke about you later, etc.

We make so many small judgments and assumptions about the people we interact with every day, and I'm begging you to just once, try to practice saying in your head, "that compliment was nice, I'm going to assume it's genuine." Or "my loved one has never told me they hate me or that I'm too much, so I will operate under the idea that they do actually like and love me." It doesn't even have to be that scripted or complicated. You get the gist, right?

Please choose to be kind to yourselves. Please choose not to sabotage your relationships and connections because your anxiety makes evil, angry lies about you and everyone around you.

You are loved, liked, valued, and worthy. I wish you the best in choosing self-love 💜

[windwardstar]

I just. It's just impossible to get people to actually use they/them for me and grasp that I am nonbinary.

Like. I am just so tired of nonbinary not actually being seen as an actual identity. Because it ends up being that I am treated like a cis girl bc I dont look like a guynand nonbinary isn't actually trans or I'm treated like a trans man because I have had surgeries and am on T and changed my name and done all the things they think Real Trans TM people do because these people just have no room for the concept of a trans person that medically transitions and is also nonbinary because those two things to them are mutually exclusive. Because you can't both be actually trans and not really trans. And also there are only two genders boy or girl but you can change between them.

And I'm just like. Three years. i've known these people Three years and I'm still trying to figure out how to get them to call me they/them and stop gendering me.

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

One might wonder why I'm so specifically hung up on the driving issue on Shabbat, when I tend to be liberal on other issues. So let me explain.

In addition to the fact that it is inarguably melacha (forbidden work), I have some major ideological and just practical issues with it, too.

First, by having your community within walking distance, you create a real community. People know where others live and eat by them and socialize more and better. You don't have the immediate "pack everyone up in the car and drive off" flurry after services, but rather more leisurely conversations as you stroll home or to another person's home, or to the park, or to mincha, etc. The instant everyone lives all over and has the ability to just take off to another part of town, you ruin both the slow pace of the day as well as lose out on the closeness of community. (There's also a lot that could be said about Jewish participation in white flight from city centers and how this enables it, but that's a can of worms that I'm not sure I want to open.)

Second, it's a way of treating creation as sacred, because that is a whole 25 hours during which you are not driving your vehicle and therefore burning more fossil fuels. Shabbat is meant to be a day of rest after the seventh day of creation; what better way to honor it than by reducing your impact on the environment?

Third, for those of us who commute, it's not just symbolic work, but invokes the atmosphere of workweek work (not just melacha, which is sometimes much easier than the shabbosdik workaround.) For me, it totally ruins the Shabbos atmosphere every minute I'm in the car, because it just feels like any other day going to my job or running errands.

So even just beyond the fact that it is melacha, there are solid practical reasons to avoid driving on Shabbat.