#for what? that's a secret my brain will never tell
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Simon x roommate!reader
PART 2
Description: Simon finds out Readers dirty little secret. Genre/Warnings: Ghost x plus size!reader, masturbation, light smut, roommate au, reader has female anatomy, Simon is also kind of a creep, one-shot WC:
My Masterlist
** I Finally got around to finishing part two of this. I might have another part in mind if y'all want it. Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays. Enjoy.
<< Pt 1
He'd seen you that afternoon, watching him like you had something to say. Simon came home that evening from the gym. The bottom of his compression shirt riding up over his waist.
He was standing in the kitchen gulping down a glass of tap water his eyes met yours for a moment. You realized he caught you staring and looked away quickly.
At first Simon racked his brain just trying to figure out what he had done that could be bothering you. Did he leave his dishes in the sink too long? Forget to move his laundry over to the dryer Whatever it was you were clearly uncomfortable and not ready to bring it up just yet.
He brushed it aside and gave you the space to come to him when you were ready. But his suspicions grew when he started to pay more attention to your behavior and body language. The way your eyes raked over every part of him but refused to meet his own. Or how you shifted in your seat whenever he was close.
The most tell-tale sign was how your round cheeks heated up and plush thighs pressed together if you'd seen him in any less than a hoodie and jeans. Truthfully, he found it cute, the little schoolgirl crush. At least that’s what he suspected it to have been.
He was only proven correct that morning when you’d lied to him
"Must've been asleep. I never heard a thing."
Sure the blush in your cheeks could've been from the awkwardness of the situation, as he was apologizing for his inconsideration and volume level during a passionate encounter the night before. But, if youd truly been asleep that wouldnt have explained how youd left your room just moments after hed walked the girl out. He’d watched you cross the hall from the darkness of the livingroom head straight to the bathroom in only panties and a shirt.
Simon didn’t press the matter, letting it stew in the back of his mind as he continued to observe you.
However, it was the day he’d come home early, something he didn’t do often, that he’d finally gotten some truth.
Not directly of course. Simon had come into the house quietly, staying in the kitchen to brew some tea. You hadn’t heard him come in especially since he hadn’t passed by your room.
As Simon stood tiredly against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest, he enjoyed the fleeting moment of silence. His ears perking up when he’d heard a muffled moan vibrate through the hallway from beyond your bedroom door.
Maybe he was just mistaken. That couldn’t have been… But, when it happened again, Simon was sure he’d heard correctly. Were you?
He crept down the hall leaning his forearm on the doorframe and tilted his ear closer to the door.
The moans continued, backed by a faint buzzing noise the sound of a toy you’d reserved for times when Simon wasn’t around.
He was getting more excited by the thoughts that filled his mind, imagining what you must look like right now. What were you wearing, if anything at all. What position were you in? How big was the toy? Or toys??
Simon felt a tent growing in his jeans aching to spring free. He contemplated going back outside and coming in louder so you would know he was home. He didn’t want to embarrass you, but as he turned to head back down the hall, it was the breathy sound of his own name uttered from your lips that stop him in his tracks.
His ear was back on the door in seconds, internally pleading for you to say it again. It took everything he had not to barge into your room right now and see you for himself. That was his name. You had uttered his name while pleasuring yourself? Maybe it was an accident, a coincidence, or he was just the closest and most available fuel for fantasy.
Simon held his breath as he listened. He let his mind wander imagining himself hovering over you with his muscular frame, pressing your knees to your chest as he slowly pushed into you, keeping a slow and steady rhythm with his hips to coax out more moans from your soft lips.
God how he wished he could take you in this moment. He imagined pressing the palm of his large hand against your soft tummy. Your thighs wrapping around him holding him inside you. He wanted to kiss every inch of you biting at the fat of your hip before burying his nose between your folds.
Simon twisted the button of his jeans between his thumb and forefinger until the two flaps of fabric snapped apart. His fingertips teased himself through the thin fabric of his boxers.
Before he knew it, he had his hand wrapped around his freed cock, thumb smoothing the precum over his head. He was never more grateful for his stealth than in this moment as he held back a grunt of pleasure.
His fist squeezed tighter around the veiny flesh he stepped back from the door pressing his back to the opposite wall too afraid you’d hear his heavy breaths through the thin barrier of the door.
He could tell you were close as your moans grew louder and more sporadic.
This was wrong. You were his roommate, and this was a complete invasion of your privacy. You remained unaware of his presence in the hallway. He closed his eyes continuing to pump his calloused hand over the stiff shaft.
What would you think finding him like this outside your door, he was a creep. A disgusting insatiable man, driven only by his desires. He found himself no longer caring about being caught the closer he came to his climax.
A faint squeal echoed through the door as you reached your peak. The tightness in his core released washing over him in waves. Simon bit his lip behind the mask to suppress a groan. Desperately clutching his free hand over the tip of his throbbing cock to catch the strings of cum that spilled out hot and sticky between his fingers.
He blinked a few times allowing the high to fade. The tea kettle whistled loudly from the kitchen. He froze.
There was a shuffling on the other side of the door as Simon frantically shoved himself back in his jeans and hurried back to the kitchen to rinse his hand off in the sink.
You peered into the kitchen from the hall, eyes wide in embarrassment wondering just how much he had heard.
"You're home."
You squeak out in surprise. Simon's back is to you as he pours the hot water in his mug. He only grunts in response.
"Wh- when did you..."
You trailed off.
"Just now."
He says, turning to rest against the counter. he pulls off his mask and blows on the steamy liquid. You nod slowly.
"Did... did you hear anything?"
You cringed at your own question. Simon took a sip from his mug and raised an eyebrow.
"Like what?"
You felt a slight pang of relief.
"Nothing. Never mind."
You smile doing your best to brush off the subject,
"Well… Wecome home."
You turn retreating back down the hall and Simon smirks to himself. It was a hell of a welcome.
#alkaline writes#cod fanfic#simon ghost riley#cod x reader#ghost x reader#cod imagine#simon riley smut#cod smut#cod fanfic writer#ghost cod#ghost smut#cod mw3#simon riley x reader#simon riley imagine#cod mw2#cod modern warfare#cod ghost#cod x you#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost call of duty#ghost x female reader#ghost fanfiction#simon riley x female reader#merry christmas#happy holidays
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It didn't hurt. Honest, it didn't. But his whimpers and tears would make you think otherwise.
You would think that he was being put through an intense amount of pain just from the sounds that came from his throat. But he wasn't.
You could assume that he was being held down, forced to experience experimentation that was far too cruel for Dr. Henry McCoy to be doing.
I mean this is the X men. The x men don't hurt people in their secret labs. Did they? No.
His breaths are so uneven.
He's shaking like a hairless cat in the snow.
His body is locked up tight, holding as still as he possibly could. Eyes shut tight.
"Wade? Wade, baby, look at me. Hey, Shhh.. shh, they're just sensors, honey."
But he couldn't. He couldn't bare open his eyes. He was too petrified to move. To breathe. To speak.
"Does he want me to stop?" Hank asks, holding one of the last sensors with the tape already applied to the back.
Wade shakes his head softly before quickly going back to his tense state, a statue who couldn't stop shaking in fear, gobs of tears flowing down his face.
"Subconsciously, he does. But he's just scared. He knows it's for the better but... well you know how he got his powers.." Logan mutters, trying to rub his back, very gently kissing the tears off his face but he flinches away, too terrified to accept the affection.
"And.. you've taken..?"
"Yes, Hank, I took his knives. That dosn't mean he can't hurt you though." Logan says, softly taking his hand, trying to ground him, saying this more to Wade then to the blue guy.
"He could kill you with just the sensors alone.. throw this bed at you.. choke you with the sheets.. he's very smart. Very good with improvision."
Wade is able to take a deep breath from the praise, trying to focus on his air intake.
"Why are you giving him ideas??" Hank questions, taping on the last few of the sensors.
"Trust me, bub. You don't want him to feel helpless or he'll find his own way to not feel that way. And you don't want that. Besides. He's doing such a good job. Staying still, and didn't even hit you yet." Logan says, staring up at wade as he very hesitantly opens his eyes, sniffling as he lets out a whimper.
"Im sorry, he's going to what now?"
"Just shut up and hurry it up. He can't do this long." The man mutters, smiling softly at his boyfriend. "You're doing amazing. Now just breathe. Breathe. That's it. It's alright. No one's holding you down but me. I got you. I'd never hurt you, Wade." He says, holding his wrist ever so slightly so that Hank could retract some blood from his arm.
Wades eyes widden, making a loud whine, closing his eyes tight and looked away.
"Shhh.. shh, it's okay. Just a little bit. Just like when Dotty checks your blood every other Wednesday. Remember? Yeah, Just like that." Logan says, smiling at him as his breathing stablizes, looking at him with thick blurry suns. "D-dotty?"
"Yeah, honey. Just like that. And Hank is going to tell you everything that's happening okay? No suprises. No restraints. Just me, and Your friend Hank. Right?" He tells Wade, who by now was eyeing the blue man as he brought over clips.
"Fear not, my friend, these are only to record results."
Logan puts a hand out, stopping him for a second. "Is that okay?" He asks Wade. He had stopped shaking by now but sniffled, still tense and scared out of his wits.
"A-are they gonna shock me if-if im bad..?"
"What? They better not! Hank!!" It was important for Wade to know someone was on his side.
"N-no! No... I-it does produce a very small and controlled mico electrical pulse, but it's harmless."
Shying away, Wade starts to cry again, breath wavering. "I-it's gonna hurt!" He cries.
"Hey hey hey, shhh we've talked about this remember? You trust me. Right?"
Theres a small hesitant, as if Wade was asking his brain to see what the council had to say before slowly nodding.
"Okay, do you trust me to keep you safe?"
There's another nod, hiccuping as he sniffles.
"Well, I trust Hank not to hurt you. And if it hurts you can tell me and we'll stop okay?"
Swallowing, Wade opens his mouth to say something, then shakes his head, tensing again as he looks away, his head toward Logan, trying to ignore what ever Beast was doing to his arm.
"You're being so brave.. what is it you wanted to say? Hm?" His hand comes to his cheek as he thumbs under his eye, smiling ever so sweetly, staring with adoration.
"..T-thats what she said." He giggles, wiping some snot away, only for Logan to roll his eyes, but didn't leave or scold him. He was proud of him for this. Proud that he was trying so hard, proud of him for being able to relax. "You walked right into that one.. huh?"
"Pft..You nut.."
This is your PSA, that medical advocancy is super sexy and is just as important as comfort. If a chaperone can not advocate, they should not be a chaperone.
Thinking about Logan taking Wade to Hank's and wade getting all nervous because the last time he tried to get help (and honestly- all of them) it has turned out terrible and the only person he trusts is his female Urologist because thats who gives him his bi monthly sti checks. Him bouncing his leg and being silent. Him staring at the door and the floor, breathing with skips and picking his nails.
Logan gently taking his hand and squeezing it, leaning over to kiss his head. "Don't.. I wouldn't let anything happen to you." He whispers but this isnt the first time someone has failed wade.
"Y-you know what-" he says, changing his mind, standing. "I think I left the curling iron on. We should leave. Like right now."
"Wade... Sit."
He whines, staying standing for a couple more seconds, trying to think of an excuse to leave before sitting, curling up into his arm, clearly scared. Because without his powers what is he? No, really. Take away his neat new powers and who is he? Useless. That's what.
The x men barley wanted to take him now WITH his powers, not even the goverment will want him without them. The wolverine wouldn't want to be with a measly crazy human, Someone so insane that when he formed his own team they all left him too. Everyone left him, so why wouldn't Logan? "D-do I have too?"
"It'll be better for you this way."
"B.. but I dont want too."
"Darlin' I swear you'll be okay. Everything will be fine."
Little does he know that Logan would love him with or without powers.
#medical truama#writing therapy#panic attack#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#logan howlett#wade wilson#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool 3#deadclaws#henry mccoy#beast#hank mccoy
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title: my disappearing secret
pairing: toby hawthorne x hannah rooney
synopsis: hannah thought she’d never see her toby again, he’d left her once, then twice but maybe just maybe third time’s a charm
warnings: SPOILERS FOR GAMES UNTOLD!!
a/n: for @lila-77 merry christmas my love!! 🎄❤️🤍💚
taglist: @lovethornes @whatsamongus @wish-i-were-heather @inmyheaddd @never-enough-novels @fleuriosa @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @emelia07 @f4iry-bell @zaraaaabear @thoughtdaughter3 @benny1989fredd @elysianwayy77 @maybxlle @sheisntyou @anintellectualintellectual @aleatorio1234 @adalia-jaycee @off-to-the-r4ces @lyra-kane @reminiscentreader @lyrakanefanatic @imaseabear @elizaa31 @loveinalocket @lanterns-and-daydreams @hermesenthusiast @eternal--dream @shattered-glass-roses
She felt his gaze before she even turned around. But it couldn’t really be him, could it? She thought she might be making it all up in her mind, yet she still whispered his name aloud, just incase maybe this time she wasn’t fantasising, incase this time he was actually there.
“Harry?”
There was one beat. Disappointment flooded through her, of course he wasn’t there. She’s been stupid to think it. Massaging her temples she carried on with her job. Then there was a second beat. ‘He’s not coming back Hannah’ she silently reminded herself.
“Hannah.”
Her heart almost stopped beating as all the oxygen was robbed from her lungs. She spun around, she had to see if it was real or whether it was all a voice inside her head. With a soft gasp, she could only stare and question whether or not she was hallucinating.
There he stood, sparkling green eyes, tall laid back figure, grinning like the first day she’d ever set eyes on him. He looked thinner than she would’ve liked him to, dark circles under his eyes. She wondered when the last time he had a proper meal was or when last he slept through the night. But she stopped herself from asking because that would waste their time and she’d learnt that time was all too precious.
“Same forwards as it is backwards,” he finished, a Hawthorne smile if she ever saw one, dancing across his lips.
Hannah was still at a loss for words, which wasn’t a lot like her in front of him. Toby Hawthorne was stood in her kitchen. She’d fantasised for something like this to happen, wished on dandelion clocks and birthday cake for a moment like this and now it was here.
Only she was less relieved than she thought she might be and more panicked. What was going on? Why was he here? Why now? Her brain raced through every worst case possible scenario. But then, for a minute she silenced her thoughts and let go of caring why and took in the moment. He was here. The rest didn’t matter. He was here.
“Harry,” she exhaled shakily.
“You already said that,” he replied, taking a step closer.
Every cell in her body burned with a sudden starvation. A desire born from a sheer desperation to be in his arms. She wanted to feel his touch, she craved it. Hannah couldn’t think of anything better than for him to scoop her up and run away from the rest of the world, even if it were all just for a second.
“What are you doing here?” she blurted out suddenly.
His lips twisted into a strange sort of smile, “do you want another postcard?”
She almost smiled back. Almost.
She folded her arms, “what are you doing here?” she asked again, her tone more demanding, reminding them both of her sharpness she’d once had with him as teenagers.
“Come on Hannah I thought you were meant to be astute,” he grinned, that twinkle in his eye as he cocked his head to the side, “don’t tell me that’s gone downhill after all these years.”
“You can’t avoid the question forever,” she told him.
“Why ask when you already know the answer,” he asked quietly, taking another step towards her, “I love you Hannah, I always have and I always will. I needed to see you, your face, your eyes, your everything. It was killing me not to.”
“Then you have no idea what it was doing to me,” she murmured, tilting her chin up slightly to truly meet his eyes.
His pupils slowly dilated, swallowing up the green of his iris like a malnourished lion would a human corpse.
“I love you,” he told her again, his voice strong and steady.
“I love you too,” she said, letting her hands trail up his torso until they met at the back of his neck.
“Do you still hate me,” Toby asked her, “for the way I left you, both times?”
Hannah could only chuckle, “always, but love does something funny to the hate.”
“How poetic,” he teased, snaking an arm around her waist.
“Well we both know how much you like your poems,” she murmured, melting into his touch.
It felt so natural, so right. As if this was how they were always meant to be. He softly brushed his lips over hers and something ignited. Neither had tasted each it in such a long time, they’d almost forgotten how much they craved it.
The kisses began to get rougher, more passion and fire behind the movement. Hannah had her hand buried deep in his hair, clutching at chunks and tugging them every which way. It was love on a deeper level, intense and rash. Toby’s finger squeezed tighter around her waist in an attempt to pull her even closer into him, though it wasn’t possible. It was the kind of kiss that made you forget you even existed, that made you forget anything existed, that made you forget you had to breathe until your lungs were screaming at you, begging for oxygen.
“I want my postcard,” she said, breathlessly against his lips.
He smirked, amused by the way annoyance flashed across her perfect face, “impatient, are we?”
And for a moment it felt like they’d never been apart, like the years of constant yearning and dreaming and praying had never even happened. It felt like they’d been together through it all, like Toby had never left that night in the lighthouse and never left that night in the hospital either.
“Come on Hawthorne and give me the damn postcard,” she replied, between kisses, “I want it.”
“Sometimes we don’t get what we want,” he taunted, taking her face into his hands slowly pressing a kiss on her forehead, then on the bone when her eyebrow met her nose, moving down to each of her eyes closed eyes and the tip of her nose. They were so soft, so delicate they almost tickled. He met her lips again before slowly trailing down to her jawline, neck and collarbone.
“I do,” she replied, a flicker of determination in her eyes and a fluttering in her stomach, “I get what I want.”
Toby bit his lip. Hannah Rooney, the girl he’d fallen in love with, the girl he’d never fall out of love with.
“Let’s play a game,” he said, “if you win, the postcard is all yours.”
Her eyes flickered to the clock hung on the wall. The minute hand was moving far too fast for her liking.
“Do we have enough time?” she asked, lips tingling still, “Avery will be coming home soon.”
“Avery,” he repeated tipping his head back smiling. He savoured her name on his tongue, “how is she?”
“She’s incredible,” Hannah beamed, wishing she could tell him every little thing about her, “she’s kind and sweet and caring and she’s so intelligent Harry.”
“No doubt she got all of her mother’s genes then,” he replied, placing his hands on her waist and pulling her in.
Heat crept up into Hannah’s cheeks. Of course he still managed to make her blush.
“She’s so big now,” she told him, “so much bigger than the last time you saw her.”
He raised an eyebrow, “bold of you to assume I don’t keep a closer eye on her.”
A tender hand squeezed Hannah’s heart, “you do?”
“When I can,” he shrugged, “she’s growing up to look so much like you Hannah, but she’s got Kaylie’s smile.”
He grazed her cheek with his knuckle, so gently it felt like he was barely touching her. Bittersweetness washed over Hannah like an overbearing tidal wave of feeling.
“I’m going to make sure she goes as far as she wants with her life,” she said quietly, trying to keep the emotion from seeping into her voice, “give her all the opportunities me and Kaylie didn’t have.”
“And you will,” Toby whispered, “you’re good like that.”
“She’s going to go far,” Hannah told him shakily, her eye blurring a little.
She was sure of it.
“I don’t have a doubt about it,” he replied hoarsely.
And so was he.
Her heart ached, weighted with the words she thought in her every waking hour. The words she wished for so long she could tell him. The words she thought she’d never get the opportunity to say to his face ever again.
“I miss you,” Hannah whispered, so quietly she wasn’t even sure if he’d heard her.
“I miss you too,” he replied in almost an instant.
Of course he heard her. He always did. Even when there was nothing to say. He just knew.
“He hasn’t found you, has he?” she asked, searching and scanning every line of his face for an indication of an answer.
They both know who ‘he’ was, the instant she said it. But she had to ask. The worry alone was intoxicating her internal organs, contorting them into funny shapes like some sort of psychotic balloon animal.
“Not yet,” he said firmly, “at least I don’t think so.”
“Good,” she nodded, “that’s good.”
Hannah stared at him for a long while and he only stared right back. She wanted Avery to meet him, to be able to call him ‘dad’, she wanted Avery to know about this wonderful man she loved in hopes she might find one equally as kind and as selfless and as genuine. And for a second she wondered if she might dare ask him one last time to stay with her. She wondered if maybe this time he might say yes.
“I can’t hide here Hannah,” he whispered.
Toby read her like an open book, he knew her mind like he knew his own. He also knew the risks she’d be willing to take for him and he wouldn’t let it happen.
She smiled a little sadly, “how can you read my mind?”
“Call it a talent,” he shrugged, with a wink.
“Why Harry,” she asked, her voice so small it scared him, “after everything you’ve been through, just come home.”
She touched the left side of her chest with her hand, her heart throbbing underneath. He belonged here. Hannah knew it in her bones. He belonged with her and Avery, here.
“He’d know,” he shook his head, “he’d hurt you, he’d hurt Avery.”
Hannah sighed, “so why now? Why decide to come and see me now?”
“Well I-“
A locked clicked, a handle turned and the front door swung open, “Mum you’ll never believe it! I won the science award!”
Hannah’s eyes went wide as she tore her gaze from his and rushed to greet her daughter, leaving Toby in the kitchen. He dared to stand in the doorway and silently watch as Hannah wrapped her gentle arms around Avery and congratulated her. He saw the exact moment Avery’s eye lit up in joy, happy with herself and her achievement.
Pride swelled in his chest and a few tears sprung to his eyes. Avery, his Avery had won the science award in school. He wanted nothing more than to embrace her tightly and tell her how special she truly was. How she was so like he mother and more, how he loved her to the moon and back, how he’d protect her until he was a gravestone stood in a churchyard.
But he knew what he had to do now. It had been a risk even coming at all. Even though he knew it had been coming, Toby had never been good at goodbyes. Glossy eyed with a twisting agony in the left side of his chest, he took one final look at his wonderful Avery and his beautiful Hannah. The brightest sparks he’d ever seen in his life.
“I got this certificate and everything,” Avery beamed, showing off the piece of paper.
“That’s amazing sweetheart!” Hannah said, stealing a glance back towards the kitchen.
She already knew he was gone, just like she knew when he was there. But she had to check. She hoped she was wrong, that her feeling was off but it wasn’t. It never was. Hannah didn’t know why it still hurt when she discovered he wasn’t still there. She wasn’t losing something she had.
“And I even got this medal,” Avery continued, snapping her out of the haze and bringing her back to reality. She had a daughter and a life. She had something to focus on. And even if Toby wasn’t physically there, he was there in her heart, “and Mrs Gray told me that I’m one of the best science students she’d seen of my age for years!”
“That doesn’t surprise me,” Hannah smiled kissing her forehead gently, “well done sweetie, I’m so proud of you. Should we put your certificate on the fridge?”
Avery nodded enthusiastically and went to get a magnet from the drawer. Suddenly she came to a halt and with a confused look picked up a rectangluar piece of card, furrowing her little eyebrows.
“Mum?” she asked curiously, “why is there a postcard on the counter?”
Hannah felt her heart rate pick up. He left her the postcard. Of course he had.
She looked around to Avery and bit back a smile, “let’s play a game Ave.”
“What kind of game?” she asked, folding her arms.
“One of our usual ones, it’s called I Have A Secret.”
#bella writes 🤍#secret santa ❆‧₊˚#toby hawthorne#toby x hannah#hannah x toby#hannah rooney#toby hawthorne x hannah rooney#the inheritance games#tig#games untold#the brothers hawthorne#the final gambit#the hawthorne legacy#jameson hawthorne#grayson hawthorne#hawthorne brothers#avery kylie grambs#avery grambs#libby grambs#nash hawthorne#xander hawthorne
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So I just feel like sharing this other idea that’s been rattling through my brain, and blaming it on late night madness (even though it’s not, but telling myself that makes me feel a little better)
Anyways, so basically the whole concept stemmed from the idea of cross-faction ships having kids, secret or otherwise, and them being worried what Megatron might do when he finds out, only for Megatron to literally be unable to say shit about it because he too has a cross-faction secret kid that he’s not told anyone about
So uh, yeah. That’s the idea. Secret megop kid that was born presumably shortly after the war started out and the two had their divorce
Not really that different in overall concept from that skystar kid idea I had that one time. Well sort of, but whatever
Megatron definitely knows about the kid but I’m not sure Optimus does. I’m leaning on no for comedy purposes. Basically Megatron had the kid, and for one reason or another (whether it be he didn’t want to raise a kid, didn’t want to raise Optimus’ kid, didn’t want someone to exploit this potential weakness, didn’t want the kid involved in the Decepticons or war, or a mix of some or all), basically just yeeted the kid out of there as soon as possible. The Decepticons either never knew or it’s been so long they forgot about it or something
Don’t know what they’re doing now, but there just is a child of the leaders of the Autobot and Decepticon factions just running around, and no one knows
The main way I can see comedy/trouble brewing in this scenario is them deciding to join the Autobots and working with Optimus Prime’s team. So like, Megatron knows the kid is there, but can’t say that he knows them or how, or why he’s particularly concerned with this random Autobot’s well-being. Another layer to the situation would be if Optimus doesn’t know the kid is his, but they get along great and Optimus is like “you know this bot is like the son I never had” and the kid is like “wow Optimus is like the dad I never had”, all the while being unaware
Though I’m also debating the idea that Megatron also wouldn’t recognize the kid, since it’s presumably been millions of years since they last saw each other. He just knows he and Optimus have a kid somewhere. Though then the situation might become less comedy and more angst if he attacks the kid and only realizes afterwards that it’s his and he didn’t recognize them. Or maybe you could keep the comedy by having him too just be unaware when the kid is right next to him, potentially just in an alternate scenario where the kid joins the Decepticons instead
And yeah, I think that’s about it. One of these days I’m gonna have to actually make one of these fankids. I just have to figure out how to combine designs and such, particularly with the helms since the rest I can tweak for alt mode purposes
But how does one combine Megatron and Optimus’ helms in a satisfying way? Hmm
#I really do need to stop making posts like these#where I just have ideas about things that don’t matter#I need to actually make something of substance#but oh well not tonight I guess#hopefully at some point during break#transformers#megop#megatron#transformers sparklings#character ideas#random stuff
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everyone likes to tell me that real friends exist, the right people for me exist, i'll find them, I just have to look, keep trying. etc.
but no one tells me how, where to look, or how to know who "the right people" even are!
not to mention the fact that I'm getting too old to "make friends" because it's mainly expected of kids/teens to do that. older adults are supposed to have their people already. most adults my age already have their established friend groups that i'm not allowed to join. or they're all pairing off and prefer their partners over friends. or I just simply can't relate or bond with them because we have nothing in common.
#autistic#autism#actually autistic#autism things#neurodivergent#adhd#audhd#autistic friendship#friendship problems#friends#the people who tell me these things never want to step up and try to be that person either so I mean 🤷♂️#they won't tell me how and where and won't be an example. like how am I supposed to know what a good friend looks like if I never had one?#how am I supposed to know what the “right people” look like and where they are!!#this has to be one of those secret things other people just naturally *know* that I don't. right?????#most others dont seem to have any problems with it and assume I can do it easily!#the older I get the more I lose hope i'll find ~my people~ or where I belong and true friends....#lee rambles#how cruel is this universe to make me want nothing more than to have solid and deep connections then deny me that#i wish to be able to accept that im meant to always be alone and embrace being a lonely as hell and learn to like it 🥲#most of my problems and mental anguish would magically disappear if i could convince my pathetic brain to accept that!
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im so tired of being a sleepy boy
#i napped for 2 hours bc i was so sleepy and still am. why.#i hydrated enough im not having an episode im not sick and no meds are causing it (i think) and the sun is not out so why!!!!#what am i supposed to do aaaaa!!!!!!! sleep for an entire day until i had sm sleep im sick of it?? 😭#i dozed off in the middle of sketching like cmon!!!#looking it up will tell me i have some rare kind of deadly disease and i dont wanna go to my doc and tell him im a sleepy googoogaga#this man is funnily enough my childhood doctor i went to before my adoption so he knows well enough how sleepy i am#considering my grandparents always tell i was fhe quietest baby ever and never screamed or cried they thought i just passed away or#was sick bc i just slept all day#so yss hes well aware of youn and his chronic sleepy sleepiness since baby times#actually thats over 20 years ago and my doc still looks the same#meaning super hot#which is confusing#this man did check ups on me when i was like 6 and 20 years later he kneads my popped out vertebrae back into place like im an old man#and he just looks exactly the same#this messes wifh my brain i think i need to nap on this#personal#tbd#idk why i rambled so hard while in the process of waking up my condolences if anyone read this far#im not even sleepy anymore bc i thought so hard about my doctor and his secret immortality my brain is actually working#🤔 ah
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ok folks this lives and dies between us but i swear to god with every passing moment and every new fact i learn i am more and more convinced that had i spoken portuguese at age 11 when i got into minecraft youtube the first time i would BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT have had a tiny little baby 11 year old celebrity crush on pactw
#qsmp#pactw#qsmp pac#cute? check. funny? check. smart? check.#did a roleplay series; does funny minigames; MAKES funny minigames#like shit dude if i hadn't worked extremely hard to draw extremely thick lines separating myself mentally from content creators i might now#but i've beat myself over the head with the 'being parasocial only ends up with your favs going to jail' stick#i'm cured. no more unnecessary mental turmoil for me#anyway this is secret shhhhh#shut up vic#block game brainrot#like i don't know how he did during the legendary rp serieses he did back then but holy MOTHER OF PEARL he's an amazing rp'er now#this is not a controversial statement and if you think it is meet me behind the chili's and prepare to forfeit your teeth#question; in brazil what restaurant/food joint/location is the designated brawl zone#like usa tends to be waffle house or chili's or denny's or like. a cracker barrel if you're feeling wild#if you're a brazilian inviting somebody to fight you irl as a meme what do you tell them#(if you are not brazilian but read these tags and want to answer with your unique location go for it i love learning)#long tags#i should be asleep tbh but my brain is like 'heeheehee 2012 never left us <3'#gnight friends like this post if you too would have had a celebrity crush on pactw at age 11 or would theoretically have one at age Now lmao
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i will never forget the time I was hanging out with two other people who were new friends and they were like "let's do a sonic fandub" and one of them started looking up sonic game footage on youtube for us to dub while we discussed who would speak for who and we decided I'd voice tails. But also I knew nothing about sonic at the time, i'd only seen the snapcube fandubs because I'd heard they were good and funny, I didn't know the plot or characters very well. I couldn't remember what they sounded like so while the other two started to say silly things in sonic and amy's voices I asked "what does tails sound like again?" And I was laughing because I was embarrassed and also shocked by how quickly they had started commiting to the bit of trying to do some voice acting and my friend just said "he sounds like a twink" and I could not stop laughing and I could not take the idea seriously and I just told them that I couldn't do the voice oops. And so we moved onto a different topic pretty quickly and just enjoyed the pizza we had while we waited for our other three friends to get back from the store
anyways all of this is to say that Tails is NOT a twink, he is an 8 year old little boy and my friend was misguided.
#Can you tell that I'm mentally unwell and also that I had a falling out with these friends and also that I miss them dearly#I actually went to see the sonic 3 movie today on christmas day and I saw a group of people that I know- one guy in the group was one of#The three that was at the store while we were doing the dub. I had a falling out with all five of those friends after that.#That day was really great. It was like a year ago now. I feel like that was the first time where I was really vulnerable with friends#And I had never been so honest about my interests and thoughts before with a group of people and it. It was nice. But after that day it...#I think it was all my fault. Or at least mostly my fault. I was honest with them but no one else#So I couldn't accept the truth of myself and I wasn't ready for everyone i know to know me that way so I tried to hide it and ignore it#And in doing so I stopped being honest with them and I started avoiding them. And I regret it. I could have just been a weirdo with them#I could have spent every tuesday afternoon hanging out and talking about life with them over pizza. But instead I ran away.#And of course they kept asking about me and wondering why I was being weird but I couldn't face it. And I kept running away#And they kept trying to chase after me. I even left for like two months and completely went no contact and no explanation#But then I came back because I had nowhere else to go and it... it was so awkward. It was too much. And now I'm overthinking#everything. I was so jealous of them. All of them. And when I got to be friend with them it was too much for me. My brain couldn't accept i#I'm not allowed to be happy unless it's in secret. That's what my brain thinks#That's the mantra I've been living by recently. For like the past 3-5 years. That's just how I was raised I suppose#Um. Oops I ranted too much in the tags. Sorry if you read all of this. But also thank you if you did. I hope you're well#Rant in tags#rant#personal#Why is this literally just my journal. Goodness gracious#I'm so sorry. Everything I post here is like completely dumb and irrelevant and stupid and pointless and matters very little.#I am just mentally unwell and I can barely think clearly. I am sorry. I hope you look elsewhere for actually important or meaningful words#Dang I just had a dramatic soundtrack melody start playing in my head but I have no idea where this song is from or what it's called. Damn
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fuck i'm actually going to end up enjoying Sevpercy huh
maybe in a picky I like them when they are in my head or when I do it kind of way
or in a time travel way because when it comes to Snape I like his teenage self a lot more than his adult self
#percy weasley#Severus Snape#Sevpercy#i remember reading a post about how snape works really well with characters that fall into a mother hen role and that is something#that i think about with Percy alot so now im kinda 👀 maybe#i just kind of assumed i didn't like it because i didn't care for alot of the fics id come across with them#so they might just fall into the same category as like TomPercy where I'm just super extra ultra picky about them#Percy accidently changing history without meaning too by getting close to snape leading to snape never telling Voldemort about the prophesy#that would be funny#because i don't think its openly known that its snape that tells him so its like#Percy had done a few things to hopefully help things and now is waiting for the time to come and its just not coming???#it's now December?? why are the Potters still alive?? not like he wants them not to be but it's like necessary isn't it for Voldemort to fa#he doesn't even know what he even did to change it#which was becoming a Lily replacement for Sev without even meaning to#this is such a weird concept like my brain is thinking Percy goes back post war maybe an accident maybe on purpose#but like its not a he's in a younger body now fic#we are talking reversed age gap here#Maybe his intention was like to go back and try to get close to the Evans (because it would be easier then getting close to the Potters)#and while he succeeds at it he ends up seeing how horrible Severus had it as a kid and now keeps giving him food and being nice to him#ooh random what if in a time travel scenario#you don't age until you reach the day you went back#Ive never seen that but it could be really neat imo#Percy just being stuck at like 25 while everyone ages around him until 2001#like imortality-lite#point is ive turned sevpercy into another 'caretaker' turned lover later in life ship because im weak to it and a little bit of a weirdo#again i blame the fact i have daddy issues and have a secret wish to be taken care of#poor Sevs just got a thing for Redheads that are nice to him
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Can't believe Scar saw a rapidly approaching, dishevled mumbo and went "he's so cute." I need to run unorthodox experiments on them.
IKR SAME OMG
They’re literally perfect for each other <- delusional
But seriously they have so much lore together in my silly brain and the few interactions they do have (WHICH HAS BEEN INCREASING A LOT LATELY MAY I ADD) has been FUELING the fire rapidly and gods gods GODS do I have many thoughts about them
#literally making an illustration type comic on Mumbos whole vampire timeline#Scar will be next with his vex schenanigans..#the worst part is I always cycle like three to five different backstory’s in my brain for these two I CANNOT decide#but now that I’ve written a short ficlet (that no one will see unless asked) abt a few scenes of Mumbos backstory I think I’m pretty set on-#-his part#Scar tho??? no clue#I have the Hotguy backstory (which I daydream about WAY too much) I have the apocalypse backstory. I have the single player raised by villa-#-gers for years and years cuz his mom dropped him off in the single player world when Scar wasn’t conscidered a player yet since he was an-#-infant cuz it was a teen pregnancy and she was too scared to tell anyone so she just dropped him off with the villagers never to be seen#again. and since it was technically HER single player world when Scar DID grow up old enough to be recognized as a player he couldn’t#access any of the 'exit world' stuff or anything like that since it wasn’t his world#and then like a watcher or smth pulled him out of it so that Scar could be put through the horrors of gun related things for experimentstuff#and then there’s the backstory of where scar IS a watcher. like not a person turned watcher he was BORN (if you could say that) a watcher#and like the other watchers wanted to do an experiment of basically 'could a watcher if stripped of its memories and placed in a people-#-world be able to produce its own feelings and emotions?' and so they did that to Scar but they didn’t place him there as a baby no. they#placed him there as a full grown man so bros even more confused. and when the life series stuff started he had exactly one ☝️ dream per#Series and it was tiny little snippets of his watcher self but he didn’t know that it’s him but like he felt a strange pull towards these#dreams so that’s basically the reason why he kept coming back to the life games even tho they hurt him deeply as we all know#and then when he won secret life the secret keeper asked him what his wish was now that he’s won and he didn’t ask to know who he was and#where he came from (since he just appeared one day as a full grown man with no identification) since he’s made peace with that maybe it is#better not to know. so instead he asked abt the dreams he always has in these series and wth their abt and the context and stuff#and then BAM the secret keeper just drops all that information on him and he has an identity crises :D#anyways. I put both of these guys through many horrors I just have so many ideas for scar specifically. oh also there’s that backstory where#hes an assasin guy and he feels rlly guilty abt it when he gets split in half (gtws and btws) cuz like he has morals now apparently?? also#it explains the scammer stuff cuz he was a HUGE scammer bacl them#asks#hermitcraft#goodtimeswithscar#mumbo jumbo#redscape
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i have a new theory for aru sekai fans & by new i mean someone else might have caught on already but i havent seen it said SO. the rute furutewoa melody is in kyuuyaku, touhikou, & now kannagi (maybe elsewhere bc i havent been looking for this motif before i only realized it today really & i havent had time to go thru all the songs again yet) & we have kyuu (past), something in touhikou im too tired to remember currently but i remember calling something similar a while ago when someone asked if there was a timeline to this, and now kannagi that uses the older language so im willing to bet this motif is a way of saying the events in the song happened in the "past". whether thats actually Long Ago or just to say its not the current situation or just happened before the songs without it i cant say for sure but i think it makes sense given what we have now.
just like we have the nami no ne no motif that signals which characters still have their "self" if its in the song or lost it if its not.
i have to do some more digging of course but with what i know right now this makes the most sense to me
#aru sekai series#u know those old people who say they do crosswords to keep their brain sharp. thats what this series feels like to me.#incredibly complex puzzle to put together in which i need to be constantly learning new things & concepts#anyway for some reason i feel like theres a link to ashura that im not touching on too but idk for sure yet#there is. something about ashura that drives me insane bc it FEELS familiar there IS. SOME sort of motif or theme or SOMETHING there#i KNOW it but i can never place WHAT it makes me rabid.#tell me your secrets puppet girl#also btw kannagi i think also ties into touhikou. given the art & that line thats like prayer will come to sustain us or whatever it is#its 2am ive had a long day i dont remember the exact thing rn. usually i check before posting but please excuse me just this once#i wish i could make friends with the jpn magu fans who also go wild over the lore but idk how to find them. its always like one off comments#sorry i didnt really go wild over yamete kudasai. it just felt rather straight forward & didnt give any big reveals that i know of#so i just kind of went ah neat & looped it for a while#but kannagi. kannagi's got the puzzle aspect back & a WHOLE BUNCH of links to other songs. & thats without knowing the lyrics#but also u know kyuuyaku's my fave so having this be closely related is a big 👀👀👀 for me#i saw someone try to say kannagis the ka in the amakakeru arc of songs (if that is a real arc. it Is a fan theory idk how accurate tho)#but that wouldnt be right bc we already have kanon for the ka.#if there are arcs like that i think itd be in with whatever ashura's in. even tho ashura is a 5 kanji song and kannagis only 1
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im putting it all together & it's rocking my world
#wow wow wow#there is such a gravity to it all and i can feel that but i am also so amused and find it kinda funny#in a way like damn they rly kept that secret locked in a box in another dimension#also i knewwww there was shit in my moms life that would help explain her more but that i would never know#this gives me some more context and i can start to make out some contours but theres still so much i dont know#i have such a morbid curiosity to jump into my moms brain and learn what made her who she is#we have a strained relationship so i want to understand and i also have a lot of sympathy and wish life had been easier/freer for her#but she also makes my life so difficult sometimes#and i wish i knew her when she was young and happy#my aunt was like i cant believe i told u this dont tell anyone#we had some misunderstanding and she thought i said i knew so she kept going and i was not understanding#so i kept asking what and who and finally got it#lmaooo#shes so cute
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i guess if i had criticisms of or like. wishes. for the writing on shtola it would be that i would like to see more how her being blind actually affects her and for her to face something that really made her struggle with her convictions
#like. aang i guess is the only example off the top of my head agdhsjsj#the problem is that shtola convictions don’t really lend themselves to struggle bc her convictions are things like#‘i want to know the secret at the heart of the world. i want to know the truth.’#which is a lot harder to challenge than like ‘i refuse to kill anyone including the fire lord’ lmao#like someone who is always open to learning is going to be difficult to challenge that way#or maybe she could have something she really wants to do not work out#idk just like something that’s not easily solved?? a long term emotional arc like thancred gets in shb#idek what it would be though i need to think more#she does have some growth like she was never really a *leader* necessarily before shb and in 5.3 she tells you#to make sure she makes time for things that aren’t books lol#she does get a lot of screen time and i love her dearly obviously which is why i want a little more for her you know??#idk if any of this makes sense…let shtola struggle more basically but she doesn’t have to *change*#it’s 12:20 am idk if this makes sense i’ll probs delete it in the morning im just talking to myself shdjsjdc#i need a text post tag#brain just going back and forth between shtola and estinien and i didn’t see him today but i did see her!
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ISTG I wanna ramble on to somebody about ghost and pals but it'd all be gibberish :/
#...........................................................................................................................................#secret vent lol#idk why i get so mad at myself easily#like- id be patient and reassuring to other people#but to myself?#ha#my dad implemented all these expectations into my brain that i cant get over and beat myself up over#heres a list:#everything has to be perfect#i cant make any mistakes#if something bad happens its my own fault and i should fix it if not im a bad person#i should take care of others more than myself#if i dont make it i should just be better#if i cant find something quickly then im irresponsible#and if i cant live up to other peoples expectations then i should work herder#it never matters how hard i work#my arms could be falling off and he would just tell me “work harder”#and then a few things i got off him that he didnt like that contrasts with what i was taught#when arguing always be the loudest and biggest which isnt good because if i snap during a small argument it could get into a bigger fight#fucking violence do i even need to explain? he was violent so i became violent (sadly :c i dont wanna be like him)#inappropriate language he always cussed while yelling and i kinda adopted that#and manipulation i dont like doing it and sometimes i do it unwillingly and then i beat myself over it like;#“i should let them make their own decisions but i can't help it i probably shouldnt even be here in worse for them”#and then that leads to me cutting off contact with a bunch of people#i dont wanna be like my dad but i cant control it i really wanna be better ive been trying to get better#but i dont know how i can#this was how i was raised#i tried to change how i act to fit other people#ive made up a whole fake personality where i have a normal family and im always supportive and shit#that isnt me i wish it was but it isnt. im a terrible fucking person and i dont know why i even exist!!!
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“Take it”
You and Chris have had sex a thousand times, but this time, after a dirty comment you thought nothing of, Chris’ secret obsession comes to light
vibe check: pure smut, chris with a size kink, a tiny thing about it hurting in a good way, dirty talk, bigdick!chris, chris with a praise kink?, pet names, praise, creampie, reader cums from pen alone (the hayley's comet of sexual occurrences)
1k words
A/N: I saw this and i knew what i had to do…BIG DICK CHRIS🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
love and cigs, merc
You and Chris were lost in ecstasy, one leg draped over his shoulder as the other hung round his waist. His head was rested against your knee, his perfect teeth grazing the bone as he thrust in and out of your sopping pussy, your walls milking him with every movement.
Your moans filled the room as his tip poked at your g-spot, pressing that perfect button over and over again. He groaned at the sight of your fucked out face, your mouth hung open as guttural sounds left your lips, cries of Chris' name rolling off your tongue as he nipped at the skin of your knee, lost in the feeling of your tight pussy around him.
"you feel so fucking good, baby" he groaned, his hand gripping at the flesh of your thigh as it rested on his hip.
You could only moan in response, reeling in the way his cock stretched out your walls, the sting being nothing compared to the bliss you felt as he relentlessly fucked you.
"so fucking pretty, taking me like this, so so pretty" Chris continued, rambling.
"mphm, Chris, you're so big" You moaned, thinking nothing of it as you spoke, his size being the only thing in your mind in that moment.
Chris' eyes snapped open, locking in on yours instantly as he continued to fuck you, something about your words making his brain tingle.
"whatcha say, ma?" he said, slightly breathless.
"you're so-" you cut yourself off with a moan, "y'so big, Chris"
Chris near enough growled, biting down on your knee before looking down to the bulge forming in your stomach as he pounded into you. He knew he was big, and he loved how well you always took him, but you'd never told him now big he was, and he never knew that was something he wanted to hear.
"say it again f'me" He slowed his pace, but increased his temperament, his hips slapping against yours with a sting as he thrust in and out of you, slow and hard.
You couldn't help but moan at the change in tempo, head craning back into the pillow, your mouth slung wide open.
Chris hand came to your jaw, pulling your head back to look at him with your cheeks gently squished between his fingers.
"tell me again, baby" He cooed, his tone stern but words soft.
"you-" you stuttered, "you're so big, Chris, stretching me out so fucking good" your brows were knit together, trying to get out every word coherently.
Chris groaned, fucking into your tight pussy impossibly hard, watching your begging eyes as he did. your words had set something off in him, and he was past the point of no return.
"you like it when I stretch you out like this? huh, princess? you love taking my big cock?" Chris questioned, eyes trained on yours.
"mhm" you moaned, biting down on your lip, "I love it, Chris"
Chris lowered his gaze to the bulge in your stomach once more, watching as his tip took fleshy shape in your skin. He couldn't help but moan, obsessed with how well you took him.
"y'take it so well, ma, y'take my cock like a lil champion, huh?" He muttered, looking back to you and brushing his thumb over your wet, plump lips.
You parted your lips, letting him slip his thumb into your mouth as he pressed it against your warm tongue. You wrapped your lips around his digit, sucking it with a moan as he pulled out of you almost completely, only to thrust back in with a brutal slap of his skin against yours.
He tugged at the flesh of your thigh, pulling your other leg over his shoulder and pressing your knees to your chest, his thumb leaving your mouth with a pop.
The new position gave him the perfect opportunity to hit you even deeper than before, his dick pressing into your cervix with a blissful ache.
"fuck, Chris, it hurts so good" you mumbled, tears pricking at your eyes at the ache of your contorted body, and Chris' weight pressed against you almost completely.
"be a good girl, and take it" Chris spat, setting a rapid pace into your perfect pussy.
He was relentless, pressing your legs tight against your chest as he laid almost all his weight down on top of you. His length thrust in and out of you, the sound of your juices mixed with the slap of his skin against yours acting as a backing track to both of your moans.
"give it to me, give it to me, give it to me" you moaned over and over again, unable to form a thought other than that simple request. Something about the dirty talk, mixed with the feeling of Chris' weight on you and his big dick stretching you out made that familiar knot tighten in your stomach, your whole body tingling as every hair on your skin stood on edge.
Chris was a moaning, whimpering mess, the sound of your begging making him feel lightheaded as he pounded into you. Your slick walls were clenching around him like a vice, and he knew he was done for.
"cum with me, princess, cum all over my big cock like a good girl" Chris said though gritted teeth, his tone somehow still soft and caring despite his pace.
As if on command, his words sent you over the edge, and with a cry of his name, you released sticky juices all over his length, the squelching sound of him fucking you through your toe curling orgasm making him reel.
He was seconds behind, filling you up with his cum, fucking it into you as he stuttered above you, pressing his weight further down onto the backs of your legs as he gripped and tugged at any skin of yours he could reach.
Your breathless moans filled the room as he stilled inside you, letting his cum soak into your walls and his length, unable to bring himself to pull out. His hand came to your hair as he rested his head against your leg, trying to catch his breath with fluttery eyes. You leaned into his touch, humming at his soft caress.
"so" you said, giggling slightly, "you like it when I tell you how big you are, huh?" you cheesed as he opened his eyes.
Chris chuckled and shook his head, pushing strands of sweaty hair out your face, "don't start" he grinned.
taglist: @sturniozalt@mattslolita@shaquilles-0atmeal@blahbel668@sleepysturniolo@le4hsblog @sarosfilms @joemamaaa42069 @2muchofaslvt @seluky10 @cherib3lla @jetaimevous @witchofthehour
#©sturnsdarling#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo x reader
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“you can use my skin to bury secrets in” | 6.8k
old man!logan x f!reader
SUMMARY: Saliva floods his mouth as you rise to your feet, looking down at him from above. Gracefully angelic, and yet— “I know what I’m asking for,” you continue, your voice descending to a low murmur that scratches pleasantly against some dark and remote corner of his brain. Then you lower yourself onto his lap, your thighs bracketing his waist. You repeat your question: “Can I help you?” OR Logan had always known your generosity would get him in trouble. WARNINGS/TAGS: mdni smut 18+ cursing. drinking. pining. mentions of alcohol. dirty talk. age gap (reader's in her late 20s). logan’s POV. angst/self-deprecation (he just needs a little loving). religious imagery. feelings. petnames. chauffeur!logan. oral sex (m receiving, tiny bit of f receiving). sort of dom!logan. doggy style. unprotected p in v. creampie. A/N: i could say i'm sorry for this, but i'm not. love love love this old man (#needthat). heavily inspired by the song "i know" by fiona apple. @lubdubology my partner in crime who keeps putting up with me, tysm!!! hope you all enjoy it <3
The line between being a good and bad person is thin. So thin, in fact, that Logan finds himself stepping back and forth across it constantly.
Rescuing a kitten from a tree? Good.
Punching a guy at a bar because he didn’t feel like being acknowledged? Bad.
Saving countless lives from mass destruction? Good—heroic, even.
But killing others to do it? Bad—condemnable, scum of the earth.
Where does that leave him? Which side has laid claim to his soul? He’s long accepted he’ll never see the pearly gates.
When the day comes that his body can no longer take it, and he only grows wearier, he’s pretty sure there’s a special place in hell with his name on it, etched in some grave awaiting to be filled.
Maybe Satan’s already counting down the days until he shows up at his door, who knows?
Yet, the more time passes by, the less afraid he is of what lies beneath the surface. He’s learned to coexist with the darkness, with the kind of pain and loneliness that would crush most men.
He doesn’t know how, but he survives it—the agony, the memories, the solitude that hits him from time to time.
And still, he doesn't lose himself entirely. He’s tempted, of course, to linger in the past—it’s always easier to drown there.
If he could go back, he knows he wouldn’t be alone in choosing that path. Some days, it feels like the only option.
But there’s no you in his past.
Logan inhales sharply when your tongue teases his slit, lapping at the precum pooling there. You hum at the taste, your hand resting on his bare thigh, fingers pressing into his skin. Your other hand lazily strokes the length of him, working the inches your mouth can’t take.
It’s clear you’re enjoying this. He can tell from the way your lashes flutter each time he thrusts a little deeper into your slick warmth. A win-win situation.
Letting a girl like you do this to him? That’s bad. Very bad. Red flags all around.
He meets you when he least expects it.
It’s a night like any other. He’s been driving for God knows how long. His joints ache from being in the same position for hours, and a part of his left knee he didn’t even know could hurt begins to throb.
It takes everything in him not to call it quits for the night, not to turn around and head home like a coward.
When exactly his life fell into this monotonous cycle, he’s not entirely sure, but it happened somewhere along the way. Now, it’s all the same: taking care of Charles during the day, catching an hour or two of sleep, then gripping the steering wheel with white-knuckled intensity, driving through endless stretches of road, resisting any attempts at small talk from the passengers he chauffeurs around.
They all try—every single one of them. They think if they can crack his harsh and bitter exterior, he’ll open up, reveal something, anything to make their eyes go wide.
But why? Why do they insist on breaking through his shell? What do they hope to discover?
No one really cares what’s going on in his mind. They just want to feel good about themselves—like they’ve been kind, amiable, empaths intending to fill some empty and obscure corner of their own lives.
Logan refuses to be the person who grants them that satisfaction.
You slip into the backseat of his limo, closing the door with a soft click. The night clings to you, the scent of the bar still lingering on your clothes. The music is loud enough for him to hear from outside, and he sees the people lined up at the door, willing to cause a fight if it means securing a good time.
There's a slight frown tugging at your features, your lips pulled downward, though your voice is still polite when you blurt out your address.
Five minutes into the drive and you haven’t said a word. Internally, he’s savoring the silence, so happy he could jump on one foot.
This kind of peace is rare. He’d grown unaccustomed to it. The tension in his shoulders eases as the city lights blur past.
But, all good things come to an end, because—
“How’s your night going?” you ask, fiddling with the seatbelt to have something between your fingers. Logan glances at you through the mirror, his eyes catching yours just for a moment, long enough to see the faint, apologetic smile you offer him. He allows himself a heartbeat more to take you in before focusing back on the road.
You click your tongue, a soft sound of disapproval ringing in his ears. “Well, thank you.”
He lets out a quiet huff, grinding his teeth together. “I’d prefer if we stayed like we were before,” he mutters, his voice rough and gravelly. His attention flickers between the passing cars and the occasional glimpses of you that startle him every time he searches for the mirror. Cars. You. Cars. You. You. You. “Y’know, not talking.”
“But that’s no fun at all,” you retort, sliding more to your left, nearly positioning yourself in the middle of the backseat. It gives him a better view of you—whether intentional or not, he can’t say.
The lipstick on your lips is still flawless. A sparkly necklace glints just above the neckline of your dress, and matching earrings dangle from your ears. Wrapped in a leather jacket, you look effortlessly alluring.
This entire sequence is enough to confirm that by no means is he going to heaven. Straight to hell, he thinks, allowing his gaze to trace over each detail of your frame. Straight to hell.
You don’t give up. “Your aura is off.”
That prompts a crooked smirk from him, a shake of his head as he mumbles under his breath: “M’sorry, my what’s off?”
“Your aura,” you clarify, motioning toward him with a light jingle from the many bracelets adorning your wrist. “It’s the energy that surrounds you.”
Logan snorts, amused for a brief second. “Well, you weren’t exactly a beacon of life when you got in either.”
You chuckle softly, leaning back against the seat and looking out the window. “I’m much better now.” A pause before you continue, your tone shifting, losing strength. “My date stood me up. Last-minute cancellation.”
It’s not anger, nor is it disappointment, that laces your words. You seem more resigned than anything else. He’d have expected you to sound at least a bit more conflicted.
“I should’ve seen it coming. He’d been asking to move it forward for a while.”
Does he look like the type of driver who doubles as a therapist? He wishes he could understand why you're telling him all this.
“That sucks,” he still responds, because even though he hasn’t gone out with a woman in what feels like centuries, he understands that sensation all too well. “First time meeting him?”
Listen up, everyone—he’s genuinely engaging in conversation with another soul. This doesn’t happen often.
He hears you hum, eyes still trained on the outside world. You sigh, crossing your arms over your torso. “Would you mind rolling your window up? I’m kind of freezing here.”
“I’d mind that very much,” he says, his voice carrying its usual gruff edge. He fights the urge to grin, but then you unbuckle your seatbelt, leaning in closer to him. Your body is wedged between his seat and the passenger’s, and he perceives your stare boring into his side profile. “Put your seatbelt back on.”
“You’re fucking with me.” Your finger taps his shoulder once, twice. “First, I get all dolled up for an idiot who bails on me, and now you have the nerve to make fun of me? Give me a break.”
Your eyes stay on him, a smile plastered on your face, anticipating any possible answer.
Crack, crack, crack—you intend to break through his shell, watching him from the front row, waiting for the moment it gives way.
Before you can say more, he cuts you off. “Seatbelt.”
It’s a command, an instruction, and you comply without hesitation.
Warmth pools and stirs low in his gut as he notes how quickly you obey him.
Would you still look at him like that if you knew the blood he’s scrubbed off his hands? The flesh that his claws have shredded? The names of the lives he’s taken?
Would your warm gaze turn cold, filled with dread instead of curiosity?
Maybe this is hell. Are you the Devil in disguise, tempting him to cross a line he won’t be able to come back from?
A few minutes later, he pulls up to your building. A really nice one, he notes. You announce you live on the sixth floor. He doesn’t need to know that, does he? Why would you tell him that? Why give that piece of information to a complete stranger?
You linger in the backseat, as though you’re expecting him to turn and look at you. And he does, though not for the reason you might expect. “You got everything?”
Eager and full of life, you nod, clutching your purse to your chest. You avert your gaze to read his ID tag, the one that contains his personal details. “James?”
“Glad you can read,” he utters, pulling out a small bottle of liquor from under the seat. He drains it all in one go, savoring the fleeting burn as it slides down his throat, which is enough to keep him going. “C’mon, kid. I already charged you.”
“You drink while you drive?”
“Keeps me entertained,” he says dryly. It’s the only thing he knows how to do. Raising the empty bottle in your direction, he arches a brow. “Goodnight, darlin’. Leave me a good review on your way out.”
You roll your eyes at him, silent as you exit the vehicle, closing the door behind you. While fumbling for your keys, four words escape your mouth. Casual yet devastating, they ruin him: “I’ll see you around.”
For a couple of days, you don’t bother him again. Bother—notice the implication of the verb in question.
He’d be lying if he said he didn’t think of you after that drive. Each time his phone buzzes, a small, restless part of him hopes it’s you, asking for his services, wanting him to be the one you seek out.
And it happens. The best things seem to occur when the moon hangs high and bright.
You: Hi.
He stares at the message, recognition washing over him. He knows it’s you; he can see the other texts you exchanged that night he took you home.
You: Are you working tonight?
You’ve got to be kidding him.
Logan: Why are you texting me?
He types the words with frustration, his thumb hovering over the screen longer than usual.
You: Why are you answering me?
Oh, you’re smart.
Logan: Take my advice. Talk to a guy your own age.
You: Damn. Already jumping to conclusions. I was just going to ask you if you wanted to have a drink with me.
Logan: I’m busy.
You: Well, what time do you get off?
Logan: I work all night.
You: Can’t even make a quick stop? I swear it won’t take you more than twenty minutes.
An impulse to throw his phone out the window surges within him, but he manages to restrain himself.
Then, as if on cue, the device vibrates again—of course, it’s you.
You: The drinks are on me. Let me know if you change your mind.
Do you think he’s going to let you pay for him? Absolutely not.
What surprises him more than the message is how easily he remembers your address. It appears to be ingrained in his mind.
He cancels his next trip, scheduled for ten minutes from now, his new destination being your building.
Once he pulls up, he does what feels most natural: he honks. Multiple times. Maybe he’s lucky and you’ll tell him to fuck off.
But you don’t. You’re laughing as you make your way over to the limo, sliding into the backseat in the same way you did a week ago. Your plan had succeeded—you had him exactly where you wanted.
Far from hiding it, you make it evident, obvious. Your heartbeat thrums in the air, and Logan can hear it loud and clear, like the bass in one of those funky songs he likes.
There’s no room for mistakes. He won’t deny it. Even if the feeling is mutual, he can’t shake the idea that he’s doing something wrong.
In his eyes, you’re the forbidden fruit—irresistible, the ultimate temptation known to humankind, camouflaged in the fur of a pretty woman.
You, his paradise on earth, could only lead to one thing: a longing for a chance with you, which he should never be granted in the first place.
He’s diving headfirst into disgrace, and the more he realizes it, the worse it feels. If he were to be scolded like a child, maybe he’d feel relieved, but he’s no kid. He’s a grown-ass man who should be able to resist.
Yet, self-restraint is like sand slipping through his fingers—never lasting long enough.
“You came.” Astonishment. Uncertainty. Amusement. Blinking your eyes at him, you sit very upright, and you don't even bother fastening your seatbelt. “Honestly? I thought you were going to block me.”
I can’t, he thinks. I wouldn’t be able to. I’m not that strong.
“What happened this time? Another failed date?” he inquires, still not starting the car. A look of perplexity appears on your features, puzzled about why he’s not moving. “Ain’t you forgetting something?” He tugs on his own seatbelt for emphasis, the fabric snapping back into place against his coat.
Once again, you follow his lead. “I don’t need to get stood up to want to see you,” you say, placing your hand on his shoulder for balance—or so he tells himself. It takes him all his willpower not to collapse right then and there. “Besides, I’m not bad company. I’ve been told I can be pretty funny.”
“I see…” he trails off, catching your gaze through the rearview mirror, not shocked in the slightest to find you waiting for him to look back. “Where to?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, you should. You invited me.”
How easy it is to make your chest rumble with laughter, the genuine sound bubbling up, pure and unrestrained. He feels like some amateur comedian who has just realized his real passion is to cause this type of response in others.
Except, it’s not just anyone’s laughter he insists on provoking—it’s yours, and yours alone.
An unsettling sensation envelops him the second you retrieve your hand, not before squeezing his shoulder in a friendly manner. “There’s a bar I go to with my friends sometimes,” you suggest after a beat, shoving your phone in the pocket of your jacket. “We could try that one.”
The moment he steps inside, regret washes over him. Why is everyone here under forty? He feels ancient, like fucking Fred Flintstone.
A fossil out of place, meant to dwell in the shadows, not in a scene like this.
When he freezes in the middle of the bar, your fingers intertwine with his, tugging him along, and he follows after you like a lost puppy. The only thing he’s missing is the leash.
You’re met with his quirked eyebrows as you peer into his eyes over your shoulder, a toothy grin threatening to shake the floor beneath his feet. “You know, people usually sit down before they start getting shit-faced.”
“I’m not getting drunk tonight.” Logan exhales a deep breath, trying to hide his discomfort, his eyes scanning the room. “And neither are you,” he practically yells in your ear trying to make himself heard above the pounding music and incessant chatter. He wonders if you even hear him at all.
The two of you eventually settle at the counter, drinking in silence. Logan half-expects one of your comments to pierce through the quiet, but you delight in proving him wrong.
Instead, your head sways gently to the rhythm of the song playing in the background, and you take a trial sip of your beer.
He’s acutely aware of the stares from the rest of the patrons. He can pretend to be oblivious, but the weight of several pairs of eyes burning holes into the back of his neck doesn’t go unnoticed.
Being watched has never been his favorite pastime, and somehow, it feels even more uncomfortable with you by his side.
He knows what those looks imply, can nearly taste the hidden implications behind each fleeting glance.
What’s a girl like you doing with a man like him? A question that makes no sense.
Does he have money? A well-endowed reputation? Did he recently inherit any properties?
Are you truly that desperate for human contact?
Is your bed so cold that you decide to go for the first guy who can string ten words together?
Logan doubts whether this whole experiment is part of the community service you must be doing. Maybe he should look up your name online to see if any criminal records come to the surface.
Now that he takes a moment to ponder it, you certainly fit the mold of the criminal type. The kind who gets what she wants when she wants it, leaving a trail of intrigue on her wake.
His fingers circle the glass so tightly he fears it might shatter into a million shards. You notice his tension, nudging his arm with yours, aiming to meet his eyes.
When you do (because, as he said, criminals have their own ways), you smile, and he internalizes that gesture as something familiar, something he feels he’s grown used to. Something rankled in his memory.
It’s as if he’s known you for a lifetime.
“Thank you for coming,” you say softly, and he may be going down the path of hallucinations, but your attention remains a little too long on his lips. Then, just as quickly, it flickers back to the rest of his face, and you lean back to drink from your beer once more.
Straight to hell, he thinks, tasting the remnants of whiskey on his tongue, for ever daring to believe himself worthy of even a moment of your precious time.
You’re probably the first person to have his full, undivided attention. And that’s… well, that’s saying something.
Most days, you’re pretty talkative, a steady stream of conversation, your words pouring out in an endless flow.
You tell him about your family, your career, that pet of yours that died when you were six years old. You mention a friend you no longer speak to, and the events that led to the downfall of your friendship.
There’s also that dish from your all-time favorite restaurant, the one you buy at least once a week because it never fails to comfort you.
Nonstop, you talk and talk, and Logan doesn’t mind one bit. Soon, he finds himself becoming an active listener—asking follow-up questions, chuckling at your jokes, even when they’re not funny at all.
He sincerely cares about what you have to say.
This whole situation with you is beyond his comprehension. Before he realizes it, you start wanting to spend more time with him.
Sometimes, you ride along in the passenger seat while he drives aimlessly through the city.
Sometimes, you invite him over, cook a meal, and he always takes the leftovers with him, as if a part of you goes with him when he leaves.
Sometimes, you come over to his place, and the roles reverse—you’re the one with the mic, asking the questions, fully aware that you’re treading on holy ground.
Logan’s got a sign on his forehead that reads ‘Stop: do not enter.’ It’s rough around the edges, hardened by the years, all capital letters in stark blank ink. But in the end, you just take the sign and set it aside.
He never goes into too much detail. Not because he doesn’t trust you—it’s just that there’s too much to unpack, and you don’t need to know all of it. You’ll be better off not carrying the garbage he does.
Yet, you’ve got him by the throat, encouraging him to cough up disjoined pieces of his life, bits of his day, his thoughts, his feelings. It sounds stupid to him, but you make him feel alive.
You never judge him, never flinch when he brings up stories from his past. As he sits at your table one afternoon, you look at his hands, his claws fully extended, and you don’t shy away. You rub the pad of your thumb across the rough skin of his knuckles, right where the adamantium tears through his flesh.
You don’t care that he’s a mutant, that he’s killed people. You don’t try to deny who he is or what he’s done. Oddly enough, you just wish to be by his side, staring off into the void with him.
“But why?” he asks, partly flattered, partly frustrated. This could be compared to learning a new sport from scratch—he can’t figure you out, can’t understand why you haven’t run the other way yet.
He likes your company, though he’s always bracing himself for the inevitable day you find a better hobby and leave.
Your reasoning defies logic, and he’s afraid that at any moment, you’ll grasp the gravity of your choices.
Almost as if you could feel the turmoil brewing in his mind, you simply say: “You’re nice to be around.”
Nice. Nice. Nice. He’d cackle if he were alone. That word reverberates through him. When was the last time someone called him nice?
Bad-tempered, sure.
A pain in the ass? Definitely.
But nice? Not a term people employed to describe him.
It’s a quality reserved for you, with your endless charisma and kind heart, but not for a man of his kind.
He’s nothing more than a chauffeur, a driver, someone who does and says what’s necessary to survive. Does that make him nice?
When he tells you he’s probably going to hell, you don’t try to make him feel better. Anyone else in your position might try to soothe him, to offer some hollow reassurance.
Your intention isn’t to change him, for him to pretend to be something he’s not. “Then I’ll meet you there,” you mutter, your shiny eyes searing into his. Under the table, your hand finds his, tender fingers grazing over his knuckles, and for once, he doesn’t pull away.
Could it be that an afterlife catching fire doesn’t sound so bad after all?
As much as he likes to admit how easily you can shift his mood, today is not one of those days.
He’s had a nightmare—nothing new, but this one had been… different. The empty bottle on the nightstand hadn’t been of any help; it never does when they visit him in his sleep.
The ghosts of those who used to be his friends, his family, tiptoe around his dreams in the form of shadows.
Blood. Screams. Shouts of his name. He can’t save them all. Walking through the wreckage, he dodges the bodies of those he couldn’t protect, the knot in his throat tightening with every step, not allowing him to breathe.
Wherever he turns, there’s death, destruction. Sadness. Did he save them all?
It’s always the same routine. He wakes up, screaming, chest aching from the effort. His lungs burn, and he has to remind himself that the limbs attached to him are his own and not the remnants of an immobile corpse.
Sweat clings to his skin, pooling at his temples and nape. He wipes it away with the back of his hand, rubbing at the soreness in his neck.
His phone rings somewhere in the distance, pulling him from his dizzy state. He scrambles to his feet, accepting the call just before it hits voicemail.
It's you. Despite it being late, he swears he feels the gentle kiss of the sun over his brow. Your sweet voice chases away the lingering shadows of his dreams, replacing the bitter taste in his mouth with something real—a reason to get up, to start moving.
He holds onto every second of the brief call, replaying those thirty seconds in his head as he steps into the shower. When the cold water shocks his system, it pulls him fully back to consciousness. He has to get ready.
Even though you insist on getting a taxi, he refuses. He doesn’t mind the drive. His gas tank does, his wallet maybe, but Logan? He just doesn’t.
At the end of the day, he’s protective by nature, and who knows what kind of men are roaming the streets at night?
God forbid they’re anything like him—eager to prompt a smile from you, trying too hard to impress you. He arrives at the conclusion that he’d rather lose fuel and money if it means orbiting around you for longer.
You make him feel better, and tonight, he needs it more than ever. He needs you.
(Now he’s driving. He honks five times when he pulls up to your building. You get on the limo, giggling as you say: “My neighbors must hate you.” He grins. You kiss him on the cheek. Subtle. Not the first time. Still, it doesn’t get old. He feels the faint residue of lip gloss on his skin. He doesn’t wipe it off.)
Not in the mood to cook, you declare as you step into his place. The mouth-watering aroma of the Chinese food you bought fills the air, but when he reaches for the bags, you insist that he sit and relax.
Sure, he can take a seat. But to expect him to relax with you around, playing this intricate game? That’s simply impossible. You’re asking for too much. He’s a player at heart, drawn to the thrill of the chase, and he will play along.
What seems inconceivable is the expectation that he can act as if nothing is happening between these four walls.
His attempts to focus on you are futile, as his mind betrays him tonight. All he hears spilling from your lips is pure and plain gibberish. Your very presence is no longer enough to anchor him.
Already immune to your charm, Logan eats his noodles, occasionally nodding when your voice rises at the end of a sentence, indicating a question.
But he nearly chokes on his drink the moment he registers your serious expression, having never witnessed you like this before.
“Are you even here?” you ask, shoving your food aside with a swift motion of your wrist.
What should he answer? What is it that you want to hear? Of course! I’m here, listening to you. It’s a delightful night. Should I start by telling you about my most recent nightmare? Quite the entertainment!
There’s a shake of his head as he lowers his gaze, escaping your concerned expression. “M’sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty.” You tug your chair forward, claiming a piece of his personal space. You know he doesn’t mind. “Want to talk about it? Did something happen?”
“My brain is just… off today.”
“Many thoughts at the same time.” Not a question. Have you completely figured him out?
“Yeah.”
He remains still, dragging his plastic fork across the now-cold steamed veggies, which have lost their appeal.
How amusing—your knees bump against his, drawing his attention. “Can I help you?” It’s new, the breathy tone you’re using, a whisper of agitation weaving through your calm demeanor.
“Can you erase my memory?” he shoots back, attempting to smirk through the wave of memories that flash behind his eyelids. When he looks into your eyes, the siren in his head blares.
Your pupils are dilated, blown wide, chest rising and falling rapidly. Sweaty palms that you wipe on your jeans. Tongue darting out to lick your lips. Your heartbeat accelerates, drumming wildly like the fluttering of a hummingbird’s wings.
He hasn’t been with a woman in ages, but he knows how they react when they see something they like—or, in this case, someone.
“Logan.” His name rolls off your tongue once more, tinged with an unmistakable need. The thought of checking his temperature dances through his mind, but the heaviness in his limbs roots him in place. He feels feverish. “I want to help you.”
Oh, no. No, no, no, no—
“What—what are you on, sweetheart?” Get up. Find your keys. Drive her home. “You don’t even know what you’re sayin’.”
Saliva floods his mouth as you rise to your feet, looking down at him from above. Gracefully angelic, and yet— “I know what I’m asking for,” you continue, your voice descending to a low murmur that scratches pleasantly against some dark and remote corner of his head. Then you lower yourself onto his lap, your thighs bracketing his waist. You repeat your question: “Can I help you?”
He’s no longer in control of his actions. His right hand crawls up your knee, palming the fabric of your pants. It’s numbing: a lapful of you, your rich smell, your quickened pulse.
Tempting. So fucking tempted to take you right now, just like this, without the need for words. Your bodies can communicate in a language of their own, one that transcends spoken phrases.
I want you, he lets you know through the way he gropes your breasts over your shirt, squeezing them together. He’s always been good with his hands. But what the hell am I supposed to do with a sweet thing like you?
His patience teeters on the edge of a precipice. “Tell me what you want.”
“I asked you first.”
“You’re gonna pretend you don’t know the answer?” He thrusts into the air, grinding against your clothed core, and you close your eyes. He’s rock hard beneath you, the bulge in his jeans shockingly obscene, bordering on grotesque. “We both know what I want, but I’m no telepath, baby. Need you to speak up.”
Twisting the locks of hair at his nape, you press your lips to his neck. “I want to make you forget, to focus on this moment. I want you to live in the present, Logan.” A bite on his earlobe sends shivers down his spine, and he grips your hips with a primal growl. “I can do whatever you want. Just tell me. Tell me, and I’ll do it, please.”
Please? He’s spiraling. Please? That’s it—he’s doing it. He’ll grant you your plea, which aligns perfectly with his own desires.
Once his back meets the mattress in his room, you get to work. With delicate precision, you pull down his pants, sliding his boxers off until only his thick thighs and the crown of short curls adorning his cock remain in sight. Your fingers tremble slightly before you wrap them loosely around his length, and it springs to life in your grasp.
Your gaze pierces into his, mirroring the intensity of his own. But something holds you back, prompting you to reach for his hand.
At that moment, it all clicks into place. Logan urges your head down onto him, and he’s welcomed by the slick warmth you provide.
Indeed, he’s very much alive.
“That’s it. That’s—fuck. There you go.”
His fingers dig into the mattress, clutching the cotton sheets, stopping himself from thrusting into your mouth. It’s not that he doesn’t want to—God, he does—but tonight, he’s on his best behavior.
He wipes the trail of drool from your chin, smearing it gently across your cheek, his thumb lingering as he watches your nostrils flare with a strained, muffled gasp.
Bringing his thumb to his mouth, he tastes the wetness on it the same way you’re sucking him: greedily, without any trace of mercy.
This proves I’m going to hell, he thinks, enraptured by the sight of his cock disappearing between your parted lips. Straight to hell.
You draw him back to the present, nuzzling your face against his thigh, your humid breath teasing his thick shaft, pulling him from a deep reverie. Your glossy eyes roam, exploring until they find his, and you gift him an authentic smile. Wrecked and blissed out, it’s as if the lights are on, but no one’s truly home.
He would’ve never guessed how much you reveled in sucking cock, radiating enthusiasm with each of your movements.
“Am I doing it okay?” you wonder aloud, hovering over the tip, swirling your tongue around the velvety head. He’s no fool, and neither are you; deep down, you know you’re doing more than just okay. Actually, you’re giving him the best blowjob of his long, long life.
Each panting, airy praise he huffs fuels your eagerness, making you even more receptive to his desires as the words slip past his lips.
“Fuckin’ amazing, honey. Got me so hard, y’see?” His tone is heavily charged with carnality, gripping himself and smacking the tip against your mouth, the wet sound echoing like music to his ears.
He pulses against your tongue, and you seize the opportunity to trace the thin veins scattered along his length. Gulping, with his gaze fixed on you, Logan notices how you’re still wearing your clothes, wiggling your hips against the mattress, rubbing your thighs together to get something in return. “Are you wet?”
Humming against him, you suck in shaky breath.
“Words.”
“I’m—I’m wet,” you rasp, voice hoarse. You try to guide him into your mouth and fail miserably, because his grip only tightens, stroking himself instead. “Logan,” you keen, stretching your neck in a silent plea, “don’t be mean.”
“Not mean. Just enjoyin’ myself,” he replies, pulling the foreskin back to expose the head, arching his eyebrows. His fingers curl around your chin, drawing your face nearer to his girth, fascinated by how your eyes flutter shut the more you surrender to the pleasure. “C’mon. Be polite.”
Blame him for it—he believes he’ll never get tired of this game.
“Please.” You whisper, returning to your begging while tenderly rolling his balls, staring at him through your lashes. And then you say it again: “Please.”
Your gaze burns a hole through his crumpled heart. He lets you have it, eager to give whatever you may ask him for. You dive back into it, engulfing his length and bobbing your head up and down with fervor. Hushed whines escape your lips, savoring another bead of his precum.
Logan almost loses it as you hollow your cheeks, instinctively cradling the back of your head. “Easy, baby. M’not going anywhere. Take your time.”
Whenever he feels himself approaching that long-awaited release, he forces his mind to conjure thoughts that will stall his impending orgasm.
The water stains from flooding on the walls.
The supermarket list.
The rising price of gas.
The—
“Fuck. Slow down,” he groans, utterly captivated by the way you point your tongue to draw imaginary patterns along his cock, seemingly memorizing every detail. “Don’t go too hard on me, remember?”
You mumble something under your breath, and at first, he can’t quite make it out. “What is it?”
“I said I want you to fuck me.”
Under no circumstances is he surviving this night.
“Really, doll?” Logan seeks the reassurance he desperately needs, fearing that this is all a dream from which he’ll awaken the moment he properly touches you. “You sure you want this old man to fuck you?”
You’re a rambling mess, murmuring Yes, Logan, please, until he maneuvers you to lie on his chest, his glistening cock sliding against your clothes, leaving a trail of dark spots. A whimper dies on your tongue as you brush your lips together, your hot breath enveloping him. “Give me a kiss at least.”
Tilting your head up, he connects his mouth to yours, growling as he detects the dull, sour tang of what must be him. He sucks your bottom lip, hardly aware of what his hands are doing until he shifts your positions, pinning you down.
Logan tugs at your clothes, peeling them away with urgency, his fingers dancing over your nipples until you’re grinding against his thigh, quivering beneath him. With a nip at your damp skin, his eyes flutter open as he studies your expression, casting you a glance that seeks your permission.
A ripple of desire courses through him when you dutifully turn over beneath him, pressing your face further into the pillow. He runs his knuckles along the curve of your ass, his throat going dry as you follow after his touch, arching your body in response.
Unable to resist the temptation any longer, he licks a long, slow stripe up your wet folds, keeping his tongue flat against your clit for a brief moment. Your arms give out and you stumble forward, stuttering as you mewl his name, fully consumed by the feeling.
So he does it again, and again, and again, flicking the sensitive bud, even though you’re already beyond soaked. It’s a pleasure he indulges in simply because he can.
Straight to hell, he thinks, coating his length with your arousal, teasing your entrance while pushing in only the tip. That motion alone is enough to make him draw a trembling breath before he continues, gradually feeding you his cock, inch by inch.
Straight to hell, the voice in his head utters as he buries himself to the hilt deep within your body, his heavy balls resting against your ass.
Like an intruder in your territory, he’s free to do as he pleases, and you let him have his way with you.
If only this moment could stretch into infinity—he longs for time to relent and never draw to a close.
What will happen after? Will you spend the night? Does he—
“L-Logan,” you mumble, having adjusted to his size. You rock back into him, impaling yourself even more on his cock. “Please, move.”
The pace he establishes is brutal. Your warm, inner walls exquisitely massage him, and the earth as he knows it stops spinning. Fire pools low in his abdomen, his hands holding you by the flesh of your hips to keep you anchored, each thrust driving you closer to the headboard with an intoxicating urgency.
“You wanted it from the very start, didn’t you?” He doesn’t know if a response will ever come, but these kinds of thoughts are impossible to contain. He’s just a simple man, powerless against the allure of a tight cunt. “Just got in my car and knew it would end like this?”
You roll your eyes at him, silent as you exit the vehicle, closing the door behind you. While fumbling for your keys, four words escape your mouth. Casual yet devastating, they ruin him: “I’ll see you around.”
His next thrust punches a whine out of your lungs. Even as you clench around him, stuffed and filled to the brim, you beg for him to fuck you harder. He would’ve laughed at you were he able to catch his breath.
With a more deliberate rhythm, he rolls his hips, jackhammering your most sensitive spot, pulling you closer as he wraps an arm around you. When his fingers find your clit, drawing slippery circles, a cry escapes you, and your body merges with the mattress under you.
Your release takes him by surprise, urging him to continue as you reach back, encouraging him to chase his own climax. He knows all too well the struggle of bringing you to this point without succumbing to his pleasure too soon. Your nails graze along his thigh, leaving delicate marks in their wake, and somehow, the passion and bliss he’s been nurturing ignites into a fiery crescendo.
Shortly after, he goes completely rigid inside you, pressing his forehead against your back as he bites down on your shoulder to muffle his groans. His hand squeezes your breast tightly, riding out his high, blood buzzing in his ears, continuing to spill into you. You spam around him, milking him until the last drop of his seed, his release painting your insides with his warmth.
Logan tucks you under his chin as his vision returns to clarity. You nose his jaw, your fingers softly tracing the contours of his beard. He pulls you closer into his chest, gliding his hands up and down your back.
Half a minute of dreadful silence, then: “Can I stay?”
Oh, yes—pillow talk. He’s not great at this either. Despite that, his eyes soften, snapping to your face.
Logan pauses for a moment. “Sure,” he retorts, dragging his fingers along your shoulder blades. He’s a one-word kind of guy. Just perfect.
Tell her you like her. Tell her you don’t want this to be a casual fling. Tell her it’s more than just sex for you.
Or maybe don’t. Get ahold of yourself, will you?
“Logan?” you ask, resting your palm against his heart.
“What is it?”
“I know.”
You do?
Try as he might, he can’t deny it. He might care about you more than he ever realized.
dividers by: @/cafekitsune thank you!!! <3
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