#for the record jason does like his therapist there

[cr1mson5returns]

Being a relatively populous county with at least one major metropolitan area contained therein, Gotham County probably operates a safety net community mental health center using county funds. It mostly exists to serve people who otherwise can't access mental healthcare on their own - unhoused people, uninsured people, people on disability benefits, etc. It's got a very original name, like Gotham County Mental Health Center or something like that.

Jason's been getting care there for a few years at this point, mostly because it's what he can afford. He has a hard time holding down a job most of the time, and it frequently leaves him without sufficient insurance coverage to go to a private practice or a psychiatrist outside of the state system. Since he pays out of pocket for all his services, he gets the sliding fee scale price and it's not so bad. His level of activity in mental health services varies year to year. He's pretty consistent with med management and is in and out of therapy according to treatment plans and such, and may have very briefly had case management services. He doesn't pretend to think that Bruce doesn't know about it, but Bruce has never brought it up and neither has Jason.

[confessedlyfannish]

DP x DC Prompt #7

Robin is heretofore thought to be alone when he swings his katana behind him, almost catching the Adam's apple of his mother's new lover.

"Whoopsie!" Danny says, taking an agile step back, as if Robin's slice was a slip of the hand rather than a deliberate and likely fatal attack.

"What are you doing here," Robin demands, mask hiding the momentary widen of his eyes. No one sneaks up on the heir of Batman, least of all his mother's latest toy.

"I wanted to chat, just you and I," Danny says, as if they are standing on a sidewalk and not the rooftop of a forty floor building in the dead of night, Robin in full costume. "I know you were kinda caught off guard yesterday night."

"I was not caught off guard."

This is a lie. Yesterday night when Talia had appeared at the latest Wayne Charity Ball as the date of Daniel Fenton, an up-and-coming name in renewable energy, Father's dumbfounded look had been nothing less than genuine.

And even the Annoyance had choked on his non-alcoholic champagne when Talia had instructed Damian to greet his "new stepfather".

"Talia," Danny had said levelly, running a hand over hers placed delicately in the crook of his arm, "Remember how we were going to break this gently?"

"Darling, Al Ghuls do not require a gentle break," Talia had replied.

"What is happening," Tim had quietly muttered, squinting at the contents of his glass suspiciously. "What."

Tonight Danny is as calm as he was the previous night, looking amused if anything. Damian resists the urge to take another swing at him. Mother would probably not like that. Danny's affections towards her had seemed quite genuine, his eyes often on her with a light Damian reluctantly recognized from Grayson's many dalliances. And dare he say it, Mother had seemed to reciprocate.

"My mistake. Still," Danny says, "I was hoping to speak with you alone."

"I do not require another father," Damian says promptly. This is true. He already has a father, and a Grayson, and the other annoyances, and Alfred. "And you should not be speaking to a...minor...without their guardian present." He does not like saying this, as he is fully capable of being his own guardian, but Dick had been adamant once updated by Tim and Barbara that should Damian come in contact with Danny alone he was to say as such. He had extracted a promise from Damian after a high-pitched lecture via video call going on nigh an hour. Damian had been waterboarded, twice, and would have preferred a third time to one of Grayson's seminars on "stranger danger" and "parental custody". It had prevented him from going on patrol with Batman, who had left shortly after the gala, presumably to meet with his mother.

Batman had not succeeded, returning without a word. Red Hood, cackling, had pulled up behind him to congratulate Damian on his new "daddy" and loudly tell Oracle how Bruce had gotten an eyeful. An eyeful of what, Damian wasn't sure, and asking only made Jason laugh harder and Dick yell from the Batcomputer.

"Good thing I'm speaking to Robin, then," Danny says with a grin. Damian updates his mental file on the man to less of a goody two-shoes than previously thought. "And like I said last night, I'm not here to overstep."

"Then?" Robin asks crossing his arms.

"You and I are a lot alike, actually," Danny says. Despite the chill of the night, wind whipping at his hair, he seems very comfortable in his t-shirt and jeans.

Damian scoffs and Danny holds his hands up.

"Okay, I deserved that one. What I mean is, and bear with me here, I had a lot going on when I was your age, and my parents weren't always super...present. Their work kept them pretty distracted as we got older and more independent."

The background check they'd run indicated Danny's parents were scientists, his sister a therapist and women's self-defense instructor. The man himself had nothing remarkable on his record beyond a public intoxication charge in his early twenties, but that hardly meant anything. Talia Al Ghul's public record was nothing short of exemplary, one of the many facts that had made the judge reluctant to grant Bruce full custody.

"And listen, I know the way I was raised in the midwest is vastly different from your upbringing, and comparing the two would likely be condescending and a disservice to you, but I also know that while I liked my independence, I wish I had been able to talk to my parents more when things got tough."

"I fail to understand what you are saying," Damian says flatly. "Are you instructing me to speak to my parents as you believe I am having a hard time? And your basis for this incredibly incorrect hypothesis is you were once a teenager whose parents were neglectful? Also, this is certainly overstepping."

Danny's smile is sheepish. "It is, isn't it?"

Damian turns to leave.

"What I'm trying to say," Danny says loudly. "Is that I intend to stay in Gotham. I have some things I need to see to here so I'll be here a while.

"And this is important to me because--"

"Talia will be staying." When Damian continues to stare at him blankly, he clarifies: "With me. Here. I mean, we definitely will go on a honeymoon at some point, even though I'm not sure we're actually married no matter what Talia says about that ceremony--"

"Tt. Grandfather will never let Mother simply galavant around."

"You don't need to worry about Ra's any more," Danny says, straightening. His voice is firm and certain. "He won't be bothering you or your mother."

"That's impossible," Damian says sharply.

"You can ask Talia yourself." Danny pulls out a card. "This is the hotel we're staying at. Room 805. You are right that you definitely shouldn't come without your father's permission, but if he's alright with it please feel free."

Danny takes a step closer, and if Damian's quick grip on his katana bothers him he doesn't show it.

"I mean it Robin. I'm not saying Talia's going to petition for joint custody, and I'll make sure Batman knows that as well. I just want you to know she's here. If you ever want to...see her."

He holds out the card until Damian plucks it from his hand with a growl.

"And also, Damian?"

"What?" Damian snaps.

"Your mom talks about you all the time. I think she'd like to see you too."

"Tt." Damian says, eyes darting down to the card. When they flick back up, Danny is gone.

Damian pulls a quick 360, sword drawn, but the man is nowhere to be seen.

"Robin," Batman says in his comm. "Need you on the west docks."

His comm line was open the whole time, he realizes, but Oracle is uncharacteristically silent. A further investigation shows no time has passed since Danny arrived at the roof. Only the card clenched in his fist indicates he was ever there.

"On my way," Damian says, sheathing his weapon.

Hmph. Of course. His mother is no fool, least of all in her selection of lovers.

Upon arriving at the cave later that night, Damian exits the clock at the rear of the group.

"Father," he says as he clears the threshold. "I wish to spend time with Mother and Stepfather at their earliest convenience. Perhaps tomorrow after school."

Everyone stops still, turning to look back at him. Tim pauses mid-stretch, Steph's jaw drops, and Cassie smiles pleasantly at him. Even Alfred, a tray of freshly baked cookies in hand, blinks at him.

Bruce's mouth opens and closes, wordlessly.

"Absolutely not!" Dick Grayson screeches from the other end of the hallway, dufflebag in hand. Behind him Jason grasps the doorway, doubled over in laughter.

[silverheartlugia2000]

DCXDP prompt

Ok, so there's plenty of Danny laying low or freaking out about the no meta rule, but I have this CRAVING of someone for once just explaining it to him? Like whoever bird or birds he's talking to just leans in and whispers "Wanna know a secret? That's mostly just a mind control precaution. I mean would you want to see Supes jacked up on fear gas? If the league do come over he prefers to be called first so he's close if something happens."   

Danny- "Oh... yeah that makes sense actually, that shit isn't fun to be under.."

"Wait is THAT why you have that string of robberies on your record?!"

"That and the time my whole town got possessed in order to make me look bad and get arrested.."

The bird then drags Danny into the cave to open Bruce's file on him, and they both sit down and fill in the gaps on the shadier spots of his record. Heck Danny eventually gives Bats a few thermoses and other less harmful but still disabling device blueprints to add to the contingency file cause even if Dan is in therapy and on probation he knows his shit luck will probably make it needed sooner rather than later and he knows how fast it will go bad.

It comes in very handy at the next gala when Vlad attempts to have a duplicate overshadow Bruce who refuses to take his business propositions. Vlad gets nosey before Danny pulls up his king rights and makes vlad take an Oath (the magic binding kind) to not mess with Bruce or his family or reveal any of their super identities to anyone at all. Constantine is there beforehand to read over the contract and outthink any loopholes before vlad can take advantage of them.

Danny gives them samples of ecto-dejecto for medical emergencies, the Bat's keep them refreshed and in stock especally after they meet Ellie and hear about her stability problems. With help from Frostbite and Danny's ok they start working on a more reliable formula just for Ellie's sake.

Yes Jason is calmer around the halfas and he is slowly stabilizing enough form a proper core from it, (not an instant fix this time!) whether hes becoming a true halfa, more towards a remnant, or both they arent sure. But one night when the phantoms arent around Jason is having a bad time, reacting from something he was hit with during a fight. Tim just grabs one of the ecto-pens on a whim and it just flushes out the toxin so fast Jay passes out. When he wakes up his core has had a good growth spurt, its still not complete yet but he's beginning to get some minor abilities, the Phantom sibs start coaching him before it gets strong enough for Jason to turn completely intangible and if Jay starts complaining? Clockwork whisks them ALL up to the tower for a home movie night of Danny's greatest fails. Grampa has a collection, good and bad XD. Yes Danny is cringing in shame while eating Clockwork's ecto cookies but Jason is slowly starting to understand the importance of getting the basics right cause he does NOT want to accidentally sink completely under the ground without being able to get back out no thank you!!

What core type would he get anyway? Shadow's like Johnny because of the stealth perks? Earth to prevent being buried again? Would he have literature as a secondary obsession cause obviously he's gonna follow Danny into the family/protection category but since Danny also has a space obsession why not?

He puts Jazz's name in the list of superhero safe therapists, the fact she's already making waves at Arkam is only boosting her reputation. Especially once they read her paper on ghost obsessions and how sometimes they are comparable to hyper-fixations in autistics in the way they both satisfy and promote healthy growth for a ghosts physical and mental state but also how being deprived of them or forced to go against them can be severely harmful to their literal health.

And that was one thing the birds kept tripping on to understand whenever they needed to bench one of the halfas but they would end up just hovering around NEEDING to be helpful no mater how much they are told to go back to bed. They also get a whole new understanding on what happened to Dan cause yeah his whole timeline is based on loosing his family and retaliating out of grief.

So from then on the halfas are allowed to help with little tasks as long as they do not strain their recovery at all. Whenever Danny gets sickly and depressed they take him up to the watch tower, Ellie gets lessons in different languages so she can interact more when they let her join them on international trips, Jason gets set loose in a newly discovered bookstore when the manor's or Bab's library isn't enough, and Dan.. they're still figuring him out but he seems to enjoy wrecking little play city set ups and games where you play as the monster like Godzilla or Rampage along with general ghost sibling rough housing. (Lilo and Stitch is his favorite movie but you'd be hard pressed to get him to admit it,)

As for ships, definitely anger management. Jason becomes an unofficial fourth Phantom sib. Platonic everlasting trio cause Danny loves his friends and they will pet him like a cat for hours while his tail coils around them possessively like a giant snake and still make memes of it when he's grumpy. Brain dead is fun also, especially if Danny or the others are capable of Little Baby Man form and Tim has to fight Damian for cuddle rights! Bats has his usual girls but hey superman isn't that bad to hang around either.

[ailithnight]

After this chapter, I will no longer be doing a taglist. Sorry folks, there's just too many of y'all and I'm on mobile. Please subscribe on AO3 for updates, or follow the tag A King in Arkham.

A King in Arkham

Chapter 4

AO3 Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Danny. I understand you don't want to go with your godfather. Is there a reason for that?

Can't go with Vlad!

If you know something we don't about him, you need to tell us. Otherwise he will win custody.

It's.. He'll.. he'll make me.. turn me.. his fault!

What's his fault, Danny?

His fault. All his. All.. My.. no, my fault. It's all my fault...

Danny?

IT'S MY FAULT! I KILLED THEM! ALL DEAD! Because of me...

Now Danny, I'm sure that's not true. What happened at the Nasty Burger-

I made it happen.

Corporate negligence-

He knew. I knew. Dan knew what would happen. Dan made it happen. He knew the sauce was gonna blow. He knew Lancer would arrange the meeting there. He cheated. He lured them there. He bound them up so they couldn't escape and ran the time out until they exploded! Dan did that and Dan was me, so I did that.

Daniel...?

I murdered them. I murdered everyone. 

Da-

IT'S ALL MY FAU- *static*

.

Tim started talking after the audio cut to static.

"What you just heard is the last, partially recovered therapy session of Danny's in Chicago. The cameras were beyond salvaging. No one except Danny knows what happened after the audio cuts. What is known is that nearby witnesses heard what they claim sounded like a 'screaming moan' coming from the therapy room. When doctors and staff went to check; the therapist Mrs. Alders was slumped against the wall, appearing to have been forcefully pushed, with minor head trauma. Danny was curled up on the other side of the room, panicking and muttering about a Dan.

While Mrs. Alders mostly recovered from the incident, she does not know how she ended up slammed against the wall. Once this audio was recovered, it was turned over to the police. Given the severity of the... confession... in conjunction with the apparent assault, the courts decided to move Danny to an asylum for the criminally insane." Tim paused in the debrief, letting the information sink in. After a moment, Duke raised his hand. Jason scoffed at the action.

"This ain't kindergarten kid, say your bit."

"I just, that explains why an asylum in general. But why Arkham?" Tim nodded, pulling up a picture of a document.

"Kid's godfather, business tycoon and multimillionaire, Vlad Masters. Insisted that if his godson should have to go to an asylum, he'll go to the- and I quote- 'Best in the country.' Made a deal with the state that he'll foot the bill while he continues fighting for custody. Apparently didn't do his research enough to know that 'Best Known' and 'Best' are not the same." Bruce had the next question.

"So, Master's doesn't have custody yet?"

"Nope." Tim popped his 'p', pulling up more documents. Investigative reports. "Given Danny's reactions to him, CPS started investigating. Found a lot of shady shit. Narcissism, anger issues, control issues, coercion tactics. 

One agent said he tried to bribe her with a rather large sum of money, which she might have taken if she wasn't well enough off from a family inheritance and mostly doing this work for the kids. Of course, same agent also said he had 'Rancid vibes' and 'tried to posses' her, but her 'Grammy's necklace protected her' so her credibility was deemed iffy.

Still, there's enough there that it's unlikely Masters will be able to gain custody any time soon. So if Gotham's favorite serial adopter with a good track record for helping troubled kids, Brucie Wayne, were to step in..." Tim's smirk is infectious and makes its way around the table. Bruce's lips twitch ver briefly into a fond smile, before dropping back into a frown.

"What do you make of the... confession?" Jason doesn't even try to hold in his groan.

"Seriously, B? It was survivor's guilt or some kind of psychotic episode or something." Damian frowns.

"I would not discredit him so quickly, Hood. After all, his ghosts are real apparently."

"Hnn." Bruce gets that look on his face. The almost constipated frown that means he is going to have to do something unpleasant like host a gala or attend a business meeting or, "I will have to call Constantine to verify what the entity we are dealing with is." 

Jason lets out a gleeful snort. "Have fun with that one, B. In the mean time can I go break our kid out yet or what?"

"Actually, Hood," Jason turns a glare on Tim, who is once again holding his hands up placatingly. "That still leaves us with the issue of making him an escapee and you an accomplice."

"Well fuckin Brucie Wayne can't exactly just walk up to Arkham and ask if they've got any blue eyed black haired boys for him to adopt."

"Not exactly what I'm suggesting here."  Batman sighs.

"What are you suggesting." Tim pulls out a case he had tucked under the desk, a truly devious smirk painted across his face.

"Just a little temporary theft. Only long enough to put the kid's face on the news for Brucie to stumble across." He opens the case, sliding it over to Jason. Inside, a replica of a relic from Tim's own past; resized to fit his bigger, broader brother. "You remember Red X, don't you?" 

The green that had been tinting Jason's vision the whole meeting finally subsides, giving way to wicked mirth.

"Oh, hell yes." 

Batman sighs.

.

"You don't get it do you? I'm still here. I still exist. That means you still turn into me."

Another night, another nightmare of a memory jolting Danny back into the waking world. His chest is tight, a high whine suppressing itself in the back of his throat. Danny's eyes dart around his room, searching for the shadowy void of his most frequent visitor. But Spectra isn't there tonight. She hasn't come back since she was seen by Banana Bat. 

It's strange. Danny had gotten used to waking up with her there, towering over him, shadowy clawed hand resting somewhere on his body as she feasted on his misery. He didn't mind, really. He had plenty to give and she didn't even rough him up too bad. Just enough to keep the psyches concerned. The last 3 days without her presence had been... not lonely. Danny was already lonely. But emptier. Like the one good thing his continued existence was doing for someone had been ripped away.

Truly, Danny felt he had nothing left in this world. Nothing to give, nothing to gain. But he couldn't die. Couldn't unleash full ghost Phantom on the world again. That's what created Dan. No, this was what he had to give. All he had to give. To stay human so that Dan never becomes ghost.  To live, as the least burden he could be, so that Dan never died. 

Clockwork must have known what would happen if Danny fully died. That must be why he spared him. The Observants sentenced Danny to death. But Clockwork was smarter. He sentenced Danny to life. And really, it's such a small price to pay for the sins of his other self. 

Despite what the others say, Arkham isn't hell. The only issue Danny's had was the clown and that's not really anyone's fault. It's just, Danny looked at the Joker and he saw Freakshow. And he saw that stupid staff. And he heard that grating laugh. And all he could think about was how that was the only thing that could still turn him into Dan. If the clown took control again. He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't! Not becoming a Dan, not becoming a problem; that's all he could do now! He couldn't he couldn't he couldn't...

Danny was broken out of his spiraling thoughts by the now familiar buzzing echoing clanging sound of another break out. He closed his eyes, letting out a heavy sigh. Then, suddenly, he was lifted up, hoisted onto someone's shoulders in a fireman's carry. 

"Damn kid, do you weigh anything?" 

Danny's eyes flew open, his body subconsciously tensed for a fight Danny wouldn't actually fight. The voice, clearly modulated, sounded high and breezy. His head turned to look at the person now forcefully evicting him from his room. Black body suit. White mask. Red slashes in a stylized X. Built like his Dad... Danny had no idea who this was.

For a moment, Danny felt a twinge of fear. He had no idea who this was. They obviously weren't with Arkham. They had just stolen him from his room and, holy shit they were flying now. No. Not flying, grappling. And running. Moving very fast towards the exit. With Danny. For unknown reasons. 

Holy shit, someone was kidnapping a teenager from an insane asylum. That, probably wasn't good. Any normal or sane person would be scared for their health and wellbeing. But, well... Danny was hardly normal. And sane was becoming increasingly questionable. 

And this guy, well he didn't trigger Danny's ghost sense. No chilly breath escaping his mouth. So he was human, not a ghost. It's not like a human could kill Danny. Not with his ghostly healing factor. Sure, they could make his life a living hell. Beat him, violate him, enslave him. But a human couldn't turn him into Dan so... Danny doesn't think he really cares. 

"Um, why are you carrying me?"

"Taking you out of here." 

"Clearly, I meant why?"

"Owe someone a favor." That was mildly concerning. Danny could think of one person who would stoop to this.

"Did Vlad send you?"

"Master's? Nope. He couldn't afford my services."

"Oh. Okay." As long as it wasn't Vlad. They were almost to the main gate now. There was screaming behind them, now. Danny loomed behind them as the person grappled up the wall and vaulted them over. Danny caught the barest glimpse of the twink in a burlap sack mask striding out the door, leaving a noxious cloud in his wake.

Then they're gone, grappling to then moving across rooftops. It's not a bad feeling. Kinda fun even. Flying as a ghost was nice. Really nice. But different from this. Gravity literally didn't touch you if you didn't want it too. But this? Danny could feel the pull of the earth, the force of every swing. Gravity was still there, exerting its influence, but they were defying it. 

For a tiny moment, Danny felt the ghost of a smile on his lips. The good feeling was fleeting, like all his feelings these days. But it was there and it was enough to shock a small "Oh." from Danny.

"Oh what, runt?"

"Nothing, just. Never grappled before. S'nice."

"Oh." It was such a soft thing, Danny once more found himself pondering the intentions of his kidnapper. 

"Do I get to know where we're going?"

"Safe house for the night. I'm your baby sitter."

"And tomorrow?"

"We'll see."

"...Okay."

.

The next morning, Vicki Vale stumbles across the story of her career (so far) sitting dazed and confused in her office. A prepubescent boy in an oversized Arkham uniform? The day after a breakout where Scarecrow and only one other inmate escaped? Oh this is bound to sell.

Okay, I know the show pretty heavily implies that Teen Titans Robin us Dick.

But

What if it was Tim?

[jaybirdh]

Okay, so I have spent the better part of a year trying to write a Jayroy fic that I thought would honestly take only a couple of months. I was inspired by this other fic, and had gotten full permission, and I wrote loads for it, but nothing ever quite worked out.

What happened was I read That issue of Red Hood & the Outlaws.

I pretty much ignore the whole penguin beatdown thing (I also ignore the titan’s tower attack, but that’s another matter), I always want Bruce to be a good father and I have tended to write him that way.

Same with Oliver Queen.

However, I thought, within the continuity, it was very stupid and unfair that this incident never gets mentioned again and Bruce never encounters any repercussions whatsoever (all this assuming you want to believe that the “fight” was at all canon, which I don’t really), and I wanted catharsis. Sort of.

I wanted a reason for the main premise of the story to happen, and that seemed like the perfect opening for that, in addition to wanting to see some comeuppance.

That was the main downfall for this story. I got way too invested in the toxic familial relationships the New 52 spat out, and it kept going into all the wrong directions. I ended up disliking all but individual bits of it. It was too nasty for me to handle.

Add to that that I couldn’t seem to get a single characterisation right, and in spite of the great inspiration, the story had almost no plot, and I couldn’t figure out how to worm one in.

So I’m scrapping that effort, and starting completely from new.

The thing is, there was one bit I did really like, from Roy’s perspective, and I don’t want it to be completely lost, although I know it wouldn’t have anywhere to go in my new attempt.

It will probably showcase all the flaws I described, and may not be written terribly well, but I still liked the voice (even if it isn’t necessarily in character), and I liked some of the points I made about what I know of how they handled Sanctuary, so I’m putting it out here.

Content warnings will be tagged. If anyone thinks they can expand on this or do it better, feel free. Just remember to credit me or even piggy back on this post. If someone does write more to this, I would like to read it.

Writing under the cut.

Therapy sucks.

That was Roy’s professional opinion as a Therapizee. And his opinion about it mattered, damn it! Customer satisfaction, and all that.

It didn’t help that all his therapizers were robots or holograms.

In a way, it made it worse.

The robots could pretend to care all they wanted, but you always knew they didn’t.

And they were always recording. Roy was sure that was some sort of violation.

But seriously, you might as well be talking to a metal wall for all the good that did (a certain saying about first signs came to mind).

Add to that the fucking holograms.

They were meant to represent the people you had issues with, or who you cared about, giving messages of support and all that sappy stuff.

Roy guessed it was supposed to be cathartic, or some shit, but really it was just frustrating, bordering on maddening.

If he weren’t already in rehab for capes interacting with the stupid fuckers would have certainly put him there.

Really, there was nothing worse about yelling about a problem you had about your adoptive father to his face, then hear him say something you know he’d never actually say to you.

All it seemed to do was increase the issue exponentially, drive you crazy with the knowledge that you might be working through your problems, but the people the holograms were pretending to be sure as hell weren’t.

Roy found himself moving just as roboticslly through his day as his so-called therapists. Sleeping badly, missing his Jaybird, and finding he didn’t have much of an appetite for anything anymore.

He supposed the one good thing about it was that he was so numb he didn’t even feel the need for drugs or booze anymore.

Just…nothingness, really.

And missing Jason, obviously, but there wasn’t much he could do about that. His boyfriend was off being a hero, no thanks to Batman (may he lose the use of his stupid fortune and die alone in a ditch), and Roy had made a commitment.

He’d stick it out for his two months, and if it got better, great! If not? It’s only two months, and then he could go back to out-law-ing with Jason, no problem.

He’d never felt the loneliness, the sadness, that drove him to addiction when he was with Jaybird.

And yes, he knew being dependant on someone else for recovery was a Bad Thing, but it wasn’t that at all.

What he’d realised, almost the first day in this purgatory, was that he’d kept himself sober with Jason, so that he could be the best he could be for Jason.

Jason, who’d always told him—always showed him that he was worth more than Oliver or anyone else had ever treated him.

Jason, who’d always made sure he was okay, made sure he was managing, made sure he knew that Roy as a person was worth more than being wrecked by heroin and alcohol.

And Roy had believed it. Roy could believe anything Jason said about it, even when the other wasn’t there, because Jason was the one who said it. He’d believed it, even through that little…hiccup.

And when they had started working together, when it became apparent that this wasn’t a one-off, Jason had been scared. Scared of hurting Roy, but also scared of being hurt by Roy.

Roy had understood that, resoected that, and gone forward with all due caution, like when you approach a wild animal.

And then came Batman’s beatdown of the Red Hood, and it was only pure luck that he was in the area to save him, god knows the other bats probably hadn’t even noticed.

And that had been horrible, absolutely terrifying.

He had almost lost Jason.

They might never have had the chance to see what they could become, together.

But he survived, and they had their chance.

Unfortunately, Roy was the one with the issues this time.

He and Jason had finally (finally!) made real progress in their relationship, but this time it was Roy who was scared.

He’d gotten low again, the Titans had broken up again (after a rather disastrous attempt at getting together again), and every time he’d tried to talk it out with Ollie something else—not even something more important all of the time—always came up, and he’d left Roy hanging.

So he’d had a bit of a relapse, nothing major, just, y’know, way too many drinks at a bar, no biggie.

But he knew that tended to lead to something more.

That had scared him, badly.

Scared enough that even when he’d been feeling much better, even when he and Jason had come together againm even closer than before, he had gone to rehab.

He shouldn’t have. He should have remembered that recovery wasn’t linear. He’d had a dip, sure, but after, he knew he would have had a rise, he’d have just had to have waited.

But he hadn’t ever wanted Jason to see him that way.

He’d been told everything about Jason’s background by the man himself in an intimate moment, and he never wanted Jason to have to suffer through anything like that again.

So he’d left.

And so, he’d died.

Yeah, therapy sucked.

[arcventi]

Ha hm. This is gonna get heavy I'm going to work through some shit

Jaytim, not necessarily romantic, not sexual Something queerplatonic, I'd say but open to interpretation

TW Death, discussion of Death, Past Major Character death (Jason's), Suicidal thoughts....

I'm actually writing this "live" and I think you can pinpoint the moment I stopped being crushed by existential dread lol

I think I'll throw it up on ao3 too, I'll link it here when I'm done.

"What's it like?"

"Hm?"

Soft autumn light falls through the window and onto the bed where Tim's head is pillowed on Jason's chest.

One of Jason's hands is lazily combing through Tim's hair, the other one is behind his own head.

They've been lying here for a while, ever since Jason came home from working at the library.

He'd found Tim still in bed, staring at the ceiling and wordlessly stripped down to his underwear and slid under the covers next to him. It took a while but eventually Tim moved, settling down on Jason's chest, accepting the comfort but still not talking.

Jason would never press him. He's not Tim's therapist, he's his... Well, they've never really defined it. Does it really matter? As long as they're... Anyway.

He keeps playing with Tim's hair even as the younger man is clearly searching for the right words.

"Dying. Being dead. What's it like?"

Jason's hand freezes for a moment and Tim tenses, opening his mouth again, probably to take his question back. But Jason quickly continues his movement and Tim settles again.

Jason is quiet for a long while. Maybe long enough that Tim thinks he's ignoring the question. But eventually he finds the right words.

"Dying and being dead are two very different things," he finally settles on.

"Right before you die your brain pours out an insane amount of chemicals. That's how you get all those stories about near death experiences. People getting high as a kite because the brain is cooking itself in its own juice. And since you are basically just a bunch of-" he waves the hand that had previously been under his head to indicate general brain stuff- "piloting a meat suit... Well. It lasts for a bit. Maybe even longer than actual brain activity can be recorded but I'm not a scientist and I wouldn't know how to prove that.

But it ends, eventually. You're not dying anymore, you're dead."

He falls silent again.

Tim doesn't make a noise.

"As long as we're alive our brains are always doing something. I don't have... I can't speak for NT people, obviously." He can feel Tim's mouth quirk into a tiny smile. "I'm always thinking about something and the only way to stop it is like... Switching to thinking about prime numbers very intensively."

Tim turns his face to hide his grin in Jason's skin. It brings a smile to Jason's own face to see that he's able to help Tim like this.

He sobers up to answer all of Tim's question, though.

"It's. There is just no way for me even now to conceptualise it. I think that's why humans made up heaven, hell and whatever, because the brain just can't grasp the concept of not being anymore. It's not like falling asleep because even when you sleep you work through stuff. You dream and sometimes after waking up you even remember those dreams. Being dead is. It's really the opposite of being. You don't exist anymore, but there's no you left to know that. It's. There is absolutely no way to accurately describe it. The only way I can define it is through my waking up. One moment I was dying, the next I was alive. There was no in between those moments, because I wasn't. It's not peaceful, it's not a well deserved rest after whatever shit life throws at you, no matter how much you deserve it. It's scary and overwhelming and absolutely indescribable due to the absence of anything to describe."

He falls silent, hand now just resting on Tim's hair. He can feel tears falling from Tim's face onto his chest, sees Tim swallow heavily.

"Okay," he finally says. "Okay."

They keep lying there, together, the sun is slowly setting, and maybe things really will be okay.

[shakapuffin]

^Promo for Alert 1x07 “Shannon”

Alert 1x06 “Tim and Amy” Review

hey everyone! here’s my review of the latest episode of Alert, 1x06 “Tim and Amy”

- so… dare i say it wasn’t horrible… dare i? cause honestly anything is better than whatever last weeks episode was i gotta be honest. but i didn’t think this episode was too bad. okay ya there’s some weird ass blips or whatever but it was pretty good for the track record of this show.

- i’m so happy keith’s finally in freaking therapy!! took way way too long but finally!! but ya the therapist is right, nikki and jason really do need some sessions, even if they’re not together, they need it as parents. we also got a bit more into keith’s kidnapping… kinda?… i hope it opens more conversations for him. also i don’t trust that new kid he’s friends with… idk he just has an odd vibe for me… we shall see!

- the case of the week was actually interesting and different and not weird as hell like last week! i was actually intrigued… weird! i gotta say tho… it might be a bit mean but… i wasn’t a fan of the actors for Tim and Amy (more Tim), im so sorry, they tried but i just don’t think it was it. but besides that, i thought the case was interesting with the new twist of physically going out into the wilderness and finding people. also side note but why doesn’t jason have an actual police issued gun or anything else besides that little pistol?!

- i gotta say tho… the beginning was promising, even th middle was good but what the hell happened at the end?! they were stuck in the cabin, mike was literally bleeding out, jason promises to get Cam and then bam!! they’re at headquarters! i feel like we missed a whole step there! like i get it, u can’t fit everything in but you have to plan that in the beginning and pace it out so u can show those moments! idk i just think i wanted more of how they physically got out and whatever happened to those guys who blew up. but ya it’s only 45 mins and it’s hard to fit everything in.

- i thought kemi’s story was interesting tonight… kinda a cool personal one for her to explore. my only thing about it is how would she 1) be allowed to work on a task force that specializes in missing people when she was literally kidnapped or something herself and 2) how does nikki not know, like doesn’t she have her file as the head of the missing persons unit? okay i’m definitely just being picky here lol! but her story is interesting… i just wish we could focus more on keith and that whole situation first before we get too deep into others.

- i’m sorry but what was going on with C? who was that girl? what? all of his storylines are such throwaway plot points!! like there was literally no need for any of that whole flirting (??) exchange to happen. i’m just so confused with that part, like are we ever gonna see that girl again? bruh!! stop wasting valuable TV time for nonsense storylines!!

- okay skipping back to the end… nikki somehow flew all the way out there in the middle of a storm after the search and rescue people literally said that they can’t go back out after they drop jason and mike off? okay, you know what i can look past that… but i can’t look past the bomb?!?! what?! how the hell did nikki just make a freaking bomb out of nothing!! what!! like where did that come from?! and then she goes on a whole ass speech about her life and idk being suicidal? huh? i get that shes trying to convince the bad guys that she would push the trigger but it was just so out of character for her idk. and then it’s never talked about again for the rest of the episode… like jason u heard the whole thing, don’t u think u should ask what that whole tangent was about!!

- on the other hand, i was a fan of jason showing off his first aid skills, he’s appreciated now! scott was great with that too, he took over the scene!

- i also wasn’t a fan of the reunion between mike and nikki… did it seem kinda awkward to anyone else?? okay so they’re back together.. can we just keep it that way! please! no more going back and forth, just pick a lane and go!! also idk if i like them together… that’s probs just me tho!

- side note: i do like the ending with jason talking to a therapist.. it’s a bit of character development for him just in one episode! okay i’m a fan! let’s see jason in therapy!

- i’m sad we didn’t see sidney… like where was she? and how did no one else really mention her? i’m kinda assuming she’s just living at jason’s house? but idk anymore! i also need to know more about june.. just what exactly is happening there?! it’s been a few episodes since we’ve last seen her! this is the problem with a lot of procedurals (or maybe just this show), they add a character/storyline in that is actually vital for the plot to move forward and then they don’t ever bring that character/storyline back!

- i really loved scott this week… he literally shined! yes i’m bias but he was really good this episode! i’m still not super impressed with dania.. sorry… her whole speech at the end when she had the bomb was just so weird to me… i think she tried to come across as angry or something but it just didn’t work for me. sorry dania. i like adeola role, she interesting! i liked ryan broussard this week, i thought he did good acting out being shot and everything else that comes along with that. i wasn’t a fan of C, i think it’s mainly because i don’t like the character of C and just don’t understand him. and then i really like the actor who plays keith, i think he’s bringing it most episodes!

okay once again, i’ve rambled on long enough! those are just my opinions… i’m definitely looking way too deep into this show but we only have a few episodes left so why not?! haha! and i like reviewing things, especially with scott being involved!

what did u guys think of this weeks episode? let me know if i missed anything!! i tried being more positive lol… not sure if it worked!! anyways, i luv reading other opinions!

[bitimdrake]

More Alfred as a complicated, flawed human being.

Because let's dig into Alfred often disapproving of Bruce's decisions and delivering dry wit, yet rarely actually pushing against him. Let's dig into the times he has fought with Bruce or tendered his resignation--sometimes followed by very petty acts! Let's dig into the ways he is and isn't responsible for Bruce's treatment of the kids--the things he doesn't know about because he’s not omniscient, the things he knows and tacitly approves of, the things he doesn’t approve of but also doesn't push back on enough. And the ways Alfred can fail to understand the kids when Bruce does (because in this DC universe of child sidekicks, a lot of these kids did need Robin, which Bruce could see but Alfred didn't get). Or how about just the simple fact that Alfred is, indeed, a stiff and stoic British man, and though he inarguably loves his family, he may not always be as expressive as some of these kids need or want.

Alfred who is stiff and British and not at all like the warmth and exuberance Dick is used to, leading Dick to initially believe Alfred hates him. And Alfred who maybe is skeptical of Bruce taking in a kid, let alone helping that kid solve a murder, because he doesn't quite understand what Bruce and Dick share. But he eventually sees that he doesn't fully need to, because Bruce and Dick are both better for it. Alfred who (sometimes uncomfortably, sometimes even reluctantly) learns to meet Dick halfway in his gestures and expressions of love.

And Alfred who sees Bruce getting colder to Dick years later, but can never quite figure out how to mitigate it. Who eventually sees Dick made to feel unwelcome in his own home and fails to stop it.

Alfred who is skeptical again of Bruce bringing in a second kid, and so soon after Dick. Maybe who is, pettily, initially disinclined to love this apparent replacement for the pseudo-son that just left...but winds up finding a grandson in Jason anyway. And Alfred who doesn't call to tell Dick any of this. Doesn't keep him informed of the news. Seemingly may not even keep in touch. Alfred who tries to help Bruce after Jason’s death, but is himself mourning a beloved child and can’t just play therapist to others.

Alfred who, at last, does endorse this third Robin, because he's finally come around to see Robin as healing to both its keeper and to Bruce--but still hasn't quite figured out how to protect Robins from Bruce. He supports this child trying to be responsible for an adult’s well-being. Alfred who makes a point of sticking with Tim and helping him after resigning with Bruce, because he cares about Tim--but also because he is pettily sticking it to Bruce.

Alfred who is cold, borderline mean to Stephanie at first, because he has fully decided to take Tim's side and doesn't think she's good enough for him--even if Tim himself would be upset to learn of this. Maybe looks down at her. At some point, realizes he was wrong, and decides either to make amends or to quietly brush past it; ends up friendly with Steph.

Alfred who initially knows Cassandra only from the messes he cleans up for her, only later meets this baffling young woman who never even realized someone had to clean. Alfred who buys clothes for her because she needs them, but also picks out...strappy cocktail dresses, things Cass would never be comfortable in.

Alfred who simultaneously recognizes that Damian is a child in need of support, and is incredibly annoyed by him. Who only manages to truly bond with the child when it is just three of them and Bruce is gone.

Alfred, looking back, knowing he has made mistakes. Wondering if he didn't try hard enough to help, if he didn't fight hard enough against certain ills. Having gotten a bad start with some of his charges, and yet found wonderful and sweet relationships with each of them nonetheless.

(And the majority of this, for the record, being directly pulled from comics.)

..it's just. It's so much more compelling to me than: Alfred, the all-seeing, all-knowing, always perfect man who everyone loves instantly.

[mxtantrights]

PAST LIVES - 3 blurb

the reader and Jason talk about their shared experience with the pit. And some more fluff between the couple. basically just a reader x Jason blurb, with a cute intruder.

“So he brought you back using the pit too?” Jason asks you.

You knew it was coming. Partly because you had said as much around the others, and you know they probably talked about it amongst themselves. It felt weird that you knew they most likely talked about your resurrection, but not uncomfortable. You were done with secrets for the most part.

You looked up at him. The both of you were laid out on your bed. Surprisingly you had convinced him to take the night off from patrol. You had the sneaking suspicion that he would try one last time to go out though. Always the vigilante.

“I mean, yeah. Are you gonna talk about it?” you ask back.

He shifts with you in his arms, “only if you wanna.”

“I don’t mind. I’ve started to make my peace I think.” 

He nods his head.

“I was gunned down in a Gotham alley, robbery gone wrong.”you say.

At your words, Jason goes still. He’s got no words in his mind. None to help him even explain to you that Bruce and you had a similar experience. Everyone knew how Bruce became an orphan. Jason doesn’t know if he should be the one to tell you about the similarities, or if Bruce should. He thinks the later.

“You remember it?” he asks.

You shake your head, “Not entirely. It’s more like flashes of images. And the feeling of ya know, death.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Not anyones fault, as my therapists once said.” you joke.

He chuckles and pulls you in closer for a second.

“I remember how I died all too well.” he says.

“I’m sorry too.” you say.

“Like you said, it’s no one’s fault.” he says.

You’re silent for a moment. It wasn’t too long ago that he had climbed into your fire escape and hinted that you two had a past life. At first you didn’t really believe him. And then at some point, you wondered. 

“What you said, about us running into each other at some point. Do you remember ever seeing me around?” you ask.

He thinks to himself for a bit. You take the time to admire the white streak in his hair. Courtesy of the pit. Well the pit and how he died. The streak looked good on him, the scar on your upper chest did not.

“I wasn’t really in my own head at the time,” he starts then looks at you, “I don’t think I could forget you.”

You squeeze your eyes shut at his cheesy line. 

“Oh my god, you’re such a romantic.” you laugh.

-

You’re brushing your teeth when Jason pokes his head into the bathroom.

“But like- I just wanna say your scar is hot. For the record.” he says.

You put your free hand on your hip an don’t stop brushing in circular motions. It makes him fully enter the doorway of the bathroom. His sweatpants are on- bad sign already. Not that you wanted to see him naked more than usual, it just meant that he was on his way out.

You spit in the sink.

“Not hot enough to convince you to skip patrol.” you say.

He rolls his eyes. You pull over the left strap of your tank top to give him a better view.

“Crime never sleeps.” he says.

“I mean, we could also not sleep. Just saying.” you answer.

“Save that for the morning you horn dog.”

You pull your strap back up and resume brushing. He slowly walks into the bathroom, coming up behind you. He wrap his arms around your waist and places his chin on your shoulder. 

“I’ll be safe. I’ll come home. I promise.” 

When he says things like that, it makes you pause. Because both of you know what it is to not be safe, to not make it home. How one night can change your life for the worst. So you know when he says it he truly means it, that he’ll come back to you. He’ll try his hardest.

You move yourself, and by proxy Jason, closer to the sink and spit again. In the mirror your eyes meet each others.

“I hold you to that.”

-

APPROXIMATELY THREE DAYS LATER

“My friends want to meet you.” Jason says.

Your head shoots up from your computer. You were at the very ends of editing a piece for the upcoming spread. It was about Dogs- the most famous dogs of Gotham. Or, the working title, Gotham’s Good Boys.

There he stands at the door way of the bathroom. After cleaning himself up. It wasn’t too bad of a night. Theres not that many blood drops on the floor to clean up. Any normal person would catch a heart attack. 

“I didn’t know you had friends,” you shut your laptop, “tell me more about these associates of yours.” 

He snickers and joins you on the couch. 

“One of them, Roy, knows pretty much everything about you. I maybe have briefly recounted the time we met at the Gala.” he says.

You nod you head along, “briefly, right. Of course.”

“And then there’s Kori. She’s just a walking ray of sunshine. You’d get along pretty well.” 

“Kori like, Dick and Kori?” you ask.

“Yup. Glad that’s over.” he says.

You wack his arm lightly.

“Jason!”

“Listen that whole thing was long as fuck. I’m just glad they’re friends now.”

“Good for them. I’d like to meet them. Maybe when-” 

You and Jason watch in real time as the window in the living room slides open, and a small body crawls through it. Still clad in his patrol suit it Damian. You haven’t gotten used to calling him your brother in a non-sarcastic way yet. 

He sees the both of you on the couch and turns right to Jason.

“Todd get out.” 

Jason gets up from the couch with a sigh, “You have twenty minutes before I come back.” 

Jason spares you a kiss to the head before jogging to the door and letting himself out. 

You pat the now empty space with your hand.

“Well brother, what bings you here?” He does the ‘tt’ and stomps over to the couch. He sits down with a bit of a cowl on his face. He can be very similar to Bruce when he wants be. The batman and his child. One of them.

“I’m being held off a mission because Father says I’m spending too much time fighting crime and not being a child.” 

“Hearsay, I think you do the child thing just fine.”

“I agree!”

“I’ll speak to him if you want me to.”

“No.”

You wait a beat thinking he might give you some other option. And then you realize it’s Damian and he’s got many other solutions up his sleeve. So you look back at the window.

“How did you get in if the fires escape connects to the window in my room?” you ask.

“It’s Jon.” 

You scratch your head, “That’s not really an explanation but okay.”

“Do you have any ice cream. Rocky Road preferably?” he asks.

But he’s not really asking. Because he’s on his feet and headed towards your fridge and trying to find it himself. Of course you have his flavor here. You’re just gonna make him work for it, so it’s all the way in the back.

[spencerspecifics]

This is chapter two to that fic I posted a few months ago! I'm calling this fic "Technical Analyst". Enjoy :)

~

Technical Analyst (ch.2)

~

Chapter one here

———————————————————————

Derek started his search for more information at the beginning, the FBI database. He knew Spencer’s first and last name, plus his old division, he should be able to find it easily.

And he did, it wasn’t a lot of information, though. All Spencer’s personal information was blacked out, only could be opened by a unit chief or anyone else higher up. Which meant he’d have to go crawling back to Hotch to learn anything about the guy.

Damn, he was almost back at the start of his search, knowing nothing. But he wasn’t, he still had a bit of information on Reid, but not a lot, not enough. So he read all he could on the guy.

He’s a doctor, but in what, medical training? That seemed like the most reasonable answer, but if that’s the case- what’s a medical professional doing working on their computers? Derek wanted to learn more about that.

Past that, all Derek could see about him was his previous work in domestic terrorism. And he had an okay record. The chief unit agent had a few notes about him on the reports from their cases, such as; “While Dr. Spencer Reid is a bright individual, we found the information he does hold to not always be the most helpful. With that being said, we’ve set him on the research end of our work, to help him learn more and to help our field agents stay focused.” “Dr. Spencer Reid is an amazing researcher for the domestic terrorism unit, but he doesn’t socialize strongly with the rest of the group.” “Dr. Spencer Reid seems more interested in the scientific behavioral aspects of why our unsub’s do what they do, while that is helpful for de-escalation when we encounter our unsub’s, (which our other agents take care of, as Dr. Spencer Reid isn’t in the field much.) it is not necessary, as he is not a profiler, even though he has trained with SSA Jason Gideon. We have now set him on research full time.”

Derek kept scrolling, similar notes kept showing up, Dr. Spencer Reid was smart- but not always conventially, he was specifically interested in behavioral studies- so why wasn’t he with Garcia? Or on the field with the BAU? Not to mention he had trained with Jason Gideon, one of the BAU’s best agents. Morgan had only met Gideon briefly before he retired, and since then he hadn’t heard much of the guy (except for what Rossi would say once and a while.)

Derek had enough bread crumbs about the genius to put his next move together, he was going to ask the genius about his favorite behavioral cases (if he had looked over any, which Derek had a feeling he had). He was also going to try and apologize, Derek didn’t know if he upset the guy about the domestic terrorism unit question, but it was just plain curiosity. He wasn’t trying to upset or offend, he was just curious. He had no open cases, after all, what was he supposed to do? Finish logging his cases like a normal person? No, and he had already had that done (the last thing he had needed was Spencer putting them through VICAP, which he did at that insane speed of an hour). So Derek was making work for himself, investigating this genius he had never heard of before.

~

Spencer had made it back to his way too small office, practically shaking from an overwhelming feeling that he couldn’t pinpoint as he did his best to shut the door behind him (which sadly took a few tries, as his hands were shaking a bit too much for him to get a hold on the handle. He ended up pushing the door shut with the toe of his shoe instead).

Was it anxiety? Stress? Anger? He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t angry at anyone, more at the bureau as a whole. He was mad he was demoted, but he had been living with that for six months now, the time frame for being reasonably mad had long been over by now.

But as soon as Derek had asked him why he was out of domestic terrorism, something flipped inside Spencer’s head. He never had to explain why he left before. Not to his mom in his letters to her, he just told her he was transferring to a different unit- to which she said that was good, and the less scary work he had to do was better for him (and for her piece of mind).

And when he had met Garcia, he didn’t have to explain himself, she never really asked. Hotchner or Strauss must’ve told her in advance why Spencer was now going to work alongside her and Kevin, but she kept her curiosities surrounding Spencer’s career path to herself. Kevin was the same as Garcia in that regard, he never asked. And Spencer wasn’t that close to Kevin, anyways. All their conversations revolved around computer work, or the occasional conversation about Doctor Who. But that was it, it never got personal.

Point is, Reid never had to explain to anyone why he was out of domestic terrorism. No one asked, no one dug deep. No one was curious. And Spencer couldn’t just answer Derek by saying; “They kicked me out because I didn’t click, I didn’t have any field hours. And because I wasn’t important enough to them to be saved. They let me go, budget cuts.” No, Spencer couldn’t say that.

It’s not that Spencer couldn’t admit defeat. He could, it’s just in this case, these people didn’t need to know about his defeats. He was working with them for a week. A week, that’s all. He didn’t want to tell them his life story, he didn’t want to tell them all the bad parts about his life. He didn’t want them to know about his failures, especially this one. It embarrassed him. The less the BAU agents knew about him, the better, in his opinion.

Spencer was standing in his office, still having not moved from where he pushed the door shut after he had entered. He just needed a second, he was still slightly shaking.

Maybe he should start seeing a therapist again. But maybe not, it’s not like he was having an attack of any kind. He was just overwhelmed. The thought of explaining why he left domestic terrorism was too much, the anxiety behind the explanation, then the embarrassment, not to mention his anger towards the bureau, and the stupid stress he felt of his daily job of being a glorified IT worker- it was just too much.

Spencer took a deep breath in. The shaking was slowing down ever so slightly, a good sign. He stepped towards his desk chair, sitting down while he kept trying to slow his breathing. God, he felt pitiful. He was shaking over having to explain himself, and while his reasoning was valid for not wanting to explain- this response his body was doing was not normal.

Spencer just kept breathing, counting off the digits of pi he could remember as he went. Numbers always helped him clear his head.

~

Spencer had continued counting, all the way to the forty-seventh digit of pi, before he fully felt calm again. Good, he breathed a sigh of relief as he tapped back onto his computers.

Now, hopefully, he could get some work done.

~

And Spencer did, he was able to help transfer a bunch of completed cases to Strauss, before another knock at his office door pulled him out of his work pace.

“Yes?” He said, turning around in his chair once again to see who was at the door. This time, it was Kevin who pushed the door open slowly as he entered, stepping in a bit to the room, but leaving the door open. “Hey, how’s your first day with the BAU going?” He asked curiously, just making small talk. He was probably trying to get out of work he was being told to do, either that or he was on break and bored.

“It, uh, it’s going okay. Nothing’s happened, really. I met agent Prentiss and agent Morgan.” He told Kevin casually as he turned back to his computer to finish logging in the files information, he knew Kevin wouldn’t mind if he turned away to do work while they talked. Kevin knew he was good at multitasking.

“Oh dude, Morgan-“ Kevin groaned, shutting the door behind him quickly as he entered the room to lean against Spencer’s desk, so Spencer could keep working and see Kevin. “Garcia loves him, and he’s a nice guy. But should I be jealous?”

Spencer wasn’t good in this conversational aspect. Ask him what the most poisonous frog in North America is, and he could answer you no problem (it’s the poisonous dart frog, no surprise there.) but this? Spencer couldn’t navigate this. So he took Kevin’s question scientifically.

“...I don’t think so. Garcia is a good person, she wouldn’t ever intentionally hurt someone. Especially you.” Spencer answered after a moment of thinking, turning to look at Kevin to gauge his reaction, “Right,” Kevin nodded in agreement, as that answer did make sense to him, “But should I-“ Kevin started, then stopped himself quickly.

He smiled down at Spencer sheepishly, “Sorry. I know you aren’t a therapist, my bad, man.” He apologized simply, Spencer just gave him a polite small smile in return, it’s all he could muster. “How did the meeting with IT go?” Reid asked, changing conversation topics easily.

“Stupid. I know how to fix my keyboard, so does anyone else here with basic understanding of computers. I bet the janitors could do it.” That elicited a small laugh from Spencer in return, as it was true. Fixing a keyboard definitely wasn’t complicated. It was just stupid nonsense that Kevin had to talk to IT, but that’s what they dealt with, day in and day out.

Kevin left quickly after that, he had just been on break, and before Spencer knew it kevin had to go running off to the child abduction unit to help them with their computers.

~

Though Derek had devised a plan on what he was going to say to spencer, he still had no clue how he should go back to the genius and start the conversation. He had no work related reason to go back, all of the files that needed to go through VICAP were sent.

Maybe Derek should get a paper cut, ask for the doctors help? No, a paper cut doesn’t require a doctors expertise. Not to mention he wasn’t even sure if Spencer was a medical doctor.

So Derek was stuck, looking over files at his desk that he most definitely was done with, as he messed with pens on his desk absentmindedly.

Emily noticed his mood shift into restless boredom pretty quickly, but she had her own work to do, too. So as she watched him tap away on his desk, she was doing her best to work. She had to get these cases filed correctly, after all.

~

Her urge to stay focused on work didn’t last long, though. Derek’s mood was just too much to not pay attention to, she would rather talk to him than do file work, anyways.

“Okay- what’s wrong with you? Drink too much coffee?” She asked him as she set down her case file onto her desk, Derek stopped tapping his pen to make eye contact with her. “Hm?” He asked simply, he hadn’t heard her, he was absorbed with thinking of what to do to get to Spencer and talk to him.

“I said,” Prentiss said, as she leaned forward a bit in her chair, “What’s with you?” Yeah, she was totally more interested in bugging Morgan than doing her cases. Derek just shrugged, he wasn’t about to tell her what he was actually thinking. That would just make her even more sure that Derek thought Spencer was cute, which wasn’t the case. He just was curious about the guy, and now he had struck a nerve in spencer, so he had to make it right and apologize. It was a normal thought process to have, but he knew Prentiss wouldn’t see it that way.

“Nothing,” Derek lied easily, gesturing to his finished case files as he spoke, “It’s just.. finished all my cases, and I can’t leave yet. So, I’m bored.”

Emily took his answer and nodded, “Wanna do mine?” She joked with him, gesturing to the short stack she had on her desk. Derek chuckled in response, shaking his head slowly.

“I don’t know ‘bout all of that.” He said, the stack, though short, had at least fifteen files, and as much Derek was bored (which was true, he was just stuck thinking.) he wasn’t bored enough to warrant work.

“Aw, c’mon, help a girl out. Here.” Prentiss said, grabbing a few off the top and passing them across her desk to his, setting them on the edge of his desk. “Just do these for me, please.”

Derek nodded, giving in. “Okay, sure. What’s left on these to do?” “I don’t think much, just finish filling out the descriptions on how we profiled the unsub, then get them into VICAP for me.” Emily specified, looking back to the rest of the stack of files.

VICAP. Derek couldn’t get them into VICAP, he didn’t know VICAP well enough. But Spencer did, and it wouldn’t take Spencer long. Perfect. He now had an excuse to get back to Spencer and talk to him more.

Derek just nodded, even though a small amount of excitedeness was now growing inside of him. Because now he had an excuse to keep talking to this mysterious genius.

“Yeah, I can do that.” He told Prentiss simply, she gave him a smile in return, along with a “thanks”, before turning back to the file she had sat down on her desk originally in favor of talking to Derek.

Now, all Derek had to do was fill these cases out. Easy.

~

And it was easy, as expected. Derek got them filled out no problem, writing the profile explanation had been something he’d been doing for years.

And it was always easy for him to do, it was just explaining the order of events- from ‘we spoke to local law enforcement’ to ‘we surveyed the area the victim was found in’ to ‘we looked at recovered evidence at the scene’, all the way to the end goal which usually was something like; ‘we figured our unsub was most likely a male in his 30’s with a menial part time job and bad temper’.

It was that, rinse and repeat. Except of course, every case was different. But the bullet points were all oddly similar.

But still, it didn’t matter. Derek had a reason to go back to Spencer now, to apologize, say “sorry I struck a nerve, doc.” And he wanted to. After all, he didn’t wanna piss off the computer genius the BAU was employing for this week.

~

So, Derek finished the case files as quickly as he could humanly manage, before making his way out of the bullpen. Thankfully Prentiss wasn’t there to ask him where he was going, as she was in a meeting with Hotchner. And double bonus, J.J. and Rossi were both at some profiling seminar for today. So the bullpen was practically empty. It was beautiful.

So, Derek made his way out of the glass doors, down the hall, back to Spencer’s office. He hoped to redeem himself of his earlier fuck up.

~

Spencer had his soundproof headphones on, totally oblivious to the outside world. After all, he had finished all his work for the day, now he just got to read, just as he had hoped for. So while Bach played through his headphones, his mind was focused on the thick Russian translation copy of the crucible. He was excited to see how Russian people viewed such an American phenomenon of the Salem Witch Trials.

He was ecstatic to say the least, translating the Russian letters to English in his head at lightning speed while he kept reading along. It was only when he was tapped on the shoulder that he got pulled out of his methodical pace. He pulled off his headphones as fast as humanly possible, turning around in time to see agent Derek Morgan back in his office. Crap.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt-“ Derek started, gesturing at the thick book in Spencer’s hands. “Oh- um, you’re fine. Sorry.” Spencer spoke quickly as he set the book down on his desk, leaving his headphones wrapped around his neck awkwardly, Bach’s light piano melodies could be heard very softly.

“What’re you reading?” Morgan asked Spencer politely, “The Russian translation of The Crucible. I’ve already read The Crucible, but knowing the Russian word choices and ways they choose to phrase such a strictly American experience is something fascinating to me, I notice that their word choices often-“ Spencer started on a tangent, only stopping when he looked up to see Derek’s face in the classic stare many people gave Spencer over his lifetime. A mixture of ‘slow down’ and ‘what the hell’ and ‘all I did was ask a question, I didn’t wanna hear him rant’.

Spencer slowed himself down, “Sorry. Uh-“ he looked down at Morgan’s hands, there were files. Perfect. “Have work for me?” Spencer asked politely, Reid’s swift change in conversation seemed to surprise Derek as he gave him a perplexed look.

“Uh, yeah- these just have to go into VICAP.” He said as he handed them over to Spencer. There were only four this time, Spencer could probably finish these in fourty five minutes, an hour tops. That meant Spencer would still have plenty of time to read, perfect.

“Okay, I can do that.” Spencer nodded as he took the files from Derek’s now outstretched arm. Derek let his arm fall back to his side once Spencer had taken the files and set them on his desk, next to his now empty coffee thermos and computer mouse.

“Hey- I also just wanted to say sorry about asking about your work in domestic terrorism earlier. Wasn’t my place to ask.” Derek spoke up awkwardly, after Spencer had started to look over the files. Spencer looked back up at Morgan when he said that, though. He wasn’t sure how to respond.

He never had to explain himself before, and now someone was apologizing to him. Normally, people wouldn’t. What was Spencer supposed to do now? He hadn’t ever been in a situation like this before. He felt like his IQ was going back down drastically, and not just because Derek was an attractive male, standing in Spencer’s office, wearing a short sleeved t-shirt that showed off his muscles in a way no one should ever show them off.

Well, it was partly that. But Spencer was doing his best to ignore that part of his brain. But now his entire brain was in the pitfall. Not sure what to do.

So Spencer muttered a ‘thank you’ and nodded quickly, pulling eyes back down to the files and not on agent Derek Morgan, because Spencer didn’t know what to do.

~

They were stuck in an awkward silence, for what felt like forever. But Derek didn’t want to leave it his way, that’s the last thing he wanted. After all, Spencer was a friend of Garcia’s, which makes them acquaintances by default. Plus, this guy was gonna be running the computer tech side for the next week or so of the BAU. He couldn’t make it awkward, what if a case happened and they had to go out there and work together?

Derek was overthinking this, but only because he cares so much about Garcia. That was his reasoning on why. Not like his reasoning mattered, though. He still hadn’t said anything to Spencer past the awkward apology. He had to say something new, now. Either that, or he should just tuck tail and leave Dr. Spencer Reid’s office that was the size of a walk in closet. 

Derek wasn’t about to dip out, though. So he spoke. “I saw in your file that you worked with agent Jason Gideon, what was he like?”

Spencer’s eyes went back up to Morgan’s again. “He taught me a lot, he’s very simple and to the point. I thought you knew him- since you’re on the BAU?” Spencer responded to Derek’s question with a question.

Derek shrugged as he made himself more comfortable, leaning up against the file cabinet that was behind him. He was hoping to stay for a while and talk, and it seemed he was getting that. Spencer watched him as he did so, “I only met him once before he retired, I’m more familiar with Rossi and Hotch.” He spoke in return.

“I’ve read Rossi’s books, they’re phenomenal. I’ve wanted to approach him and talk about his work on some of the cases he’s done- but I never get the opportunity to.”

“You’re working with the entire BAU, you’ve got the opportunity now. You realize that, right?” Derek asked Spencer curiously. Spencer nodded, “I do. But I checked his schedule, he’s at a seminar right now:”

Derek chuckled, he didn’t know Spencer well enough to make presumptions about the guy, and he had agreed with the BAU a long time ago not to profile each other- and by that logic, he had also agreed not to profile Spencer. Not that he’d want to, though. That’s just not fair.

But oddly, Spencer checking Rossi’s schedule sounded like something this guy would do. He’s too smart to be working as a technical analyst in a small ass office. Derek still wanted to ask him so badly ‘why are you here?’. But he knew he shouldn’t. So he redirected the conversation again; “What’s some of your favorite behavioral cases?”

~

Spencer hadn’t meant to keep Morgan in his office for over an hour, explaining in depth about his favorite behavioral cases. It just happened on accident.

Usually Spencer stopped himself when he rambled, but Derek didn’t seem to mind. And once Spencer started talking, it was near impossible to stop. It was only when Prentiss knocked on the office door, peeking her head inside- did Spencer realize how much time he had taken away from Derek.

“Hey, I was looking for you, Morgan. You finish those files?” She asked him innocently, “I did, just getting our new tech analyst to put them in for me.” He responded easily, Spencer looked back down at the case files. Yeah, he needed to do them.

“I’ll get started on them now,” Spencer nodded, “Sorry.” He told Derek after Prentiss had left, leaving the office door cracked open.

“No worries. I enjoyed talking to you. Hope we do more work together.” Derek told him with a small smile. Crap, Spencer didn’t like this guy one bit. He was too nice, too handsome, too charming. This was a dumpster fire of a situation.

Thankfully, this seemed to be the end of it, at least for now. These were Prentiss’ files. He could finish these and leave them on her desk. No more interaction with Derek Morgan, which is definitely what Spencer needed.

“I’ll see you, doc. Thanks again.” Derek told him, that smile still on his face as he exited, shutting the door behind him. Spencer didn’t respond as Morgan left, he was just feeling his face blushing red, goddamnit. He was going to curse at Penelope garcia for having such an attractive best friend. This just wasn’t fair. This was going to be a problem, a nagging, buzzing fly around Spencer’s mind until the week was over.

Thankfully this was just a week long ordeal. Spencer could handle that. He wouldn’t know what to do if he was a permanent worker on the BAU.

Reid brought himself back to focus, working on the files. Which he did at record speed, like always.

~

“Dude, I was looking for you for like- an hour. Were you with the doctor the entire time?” Prentiss asked Derek curiously as soon as he sat down in his desk chair again.

Morgan shrugged, “I gave him your files, we were just talking.”

“For an hour? About what?” Prentiss asked him, surprised because Derek wasn’t that big on long conversations.

“Spencer used to work with agent Gideon. He told me about that.” “No shit, really? That’s cool.” Prentiss muttered, definitely a tinge of jealously in her voice, “I’m gonna ask him for whatever tips Gideon taught him.”

“Maybe I know those tips.” Derek joked, wagging his eyebrows up and down as a way to piss emily off. She rolled her eyes at him, “No way you remember all he said. You were probably too busy staring at his face.”

“For the last time, he isn’t cute.” “Uh, yes he is.” Prentiss scoffed at Derek for such a weak rebuttal. Now it was Morgan’s turn to roll his eyes, “I’m done talking to you. I got your files done, Prentiss.”

Now, emily was sarcastic; “Oh and thank god you did four of my fifteen files. I never would’ve finished without you- seriously, thank you so much Morgan.”

Derek just continued rolling his eyes, deciding to roll around in his office chair to face the other way, facing his filing cabinent. “What’re you even doing?” Prentiss asked him, “Ignoring you.” He replied easily, eliciting a giggle from Prentiss, before hearing her reply; “Whatever man.”

———————————————————————

taglist: so far just @electricsockhead bc they commented a while back they wanted to know of any more chapters coming out. If you want to be on my taglist send me a message :)

[heleizition]

I know it is distracting you, but please,, tell us about the youtuber au

SEFJESFOSEFJOS  pl ease  ... please keep distracting me ive been stuck on sketches for HOURS SJOEFJO

ok so . youtuber au .

this is a no cape au, im not quite sure yet how bruce collects all the kids but ya the waynes are still popular as fuck and the kids all face the medias,,, tim (15/16 years old when it starts) has been rather quiet and avoiding medias and is a lil gamer and also he sings a lot and writes songs and plays the guitar ??? and piano also prob. so he starts doing videos where he talks about writing music (his therapist said writing was good for him and he just started doing the videos on his own) and he sings his songs and there is a lot of random short funny and/or wholesome wayne family moments, and after a while his channel gets found by th public and explodes bc oh fuck yeah tim the ~introvert wayne~ lmaoo

so he takes to it ?? he realises he likes it ?? his friends and his family pops up in his videos, and its a very different way the wayne family is exposed to the public and bruce is very rarely in the videos but there is this one vid thats like super soft and more of a. family recording rather than a youtuber recording bc it doesnt look like people knew they were being recorded (at first) ? anyway the vid is alfred who filmed tim showing bruce one of his songs and bruce is smiling this proud dad smile the whole time and he hugs tim at the end and its so SWEET !!

jason is the one who does q & as with tim,,, he chooses the embarassing questions and annoys tim a lot its lovely. they also brainstorm lyrics together bc jay is a litterature nerd. dick is the one who keeps dropping in when tim doesnt lives to gives him snacc and annoy him into drinking water. cass and him hang out quietly and she hums along when he sings. damian doesnt drop by often when he’s filming, but he likes to jst chill with tim in the big living room when he’s editing vids or working on songs and they jst quietly hang out. duke is also into music but more into making it through softwares so sometimes he does beats and tim and him try stuff on top of it ? they laugh a lot its fun . lot of slam of very weird texts.

conner cassie n bart are obviously here, u know me, conner has a great singing voice, bart knows how to play the synth, and cassie is great with a ukulele : D !! the four of them together are great and its nice !!!!! they’re also all dancing around one another and end up together and they hide it rly well until like two years in (theyre like, 20 now) bart forgets tim is on live and not jst regular filming where he can edit n he comes in n jst kiss tim and tim panics and closes everything, cutting the streaming abruptly lmaooo

anyway he recovers but its a pretty funny moment. anyway  . love that au. just soft and happy .

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Riverdale 5x03 Review

Wow I’ve got to say I’m actually impressed with Riverdale this episode, I really enjoyed it and I got emotional soo many times. I think it was well written for the most part and a really good send off for the characters as teenagers. I think it would have hit even harder if it had aired as a season finale like it was meant to but overall I really liked this episode which I’m glad because I was a little wary going into it after 5x02 which I didn’t really enjoy that much. Anyway we’ve got lots to talk about so lets jump in. As always these are just my own views and opinions and naturally there are spoilers. 

Jelly Bean and FP. 

So first I figured we can talk about the fallout from last episode and the reveal that Jelly Bean was behind the tapes. One little thing that did make me laugh a  was when Jughead is narrating over the opening and he talks about the darkness in the people of the town and he lists Cliff Blossom, The Black Hood, The Gargoyle King and The Stonies you know all these murders and attempted murders and then he adds Jelly Bean to the list. I mean Jughead sweetie I get that you are upset about your sister making those tapes and that’s completely understandable I’m just not sure its quite on the same level as all the other people in the list in the grand scheme of things. I mean I get what the writers were trying to get at with that statement but it just tickled me a little is all, don’t think it was supposed to but well I’m weird, I’m a weirdo so I found it funny and kinda overdramatic. But onto more serious things I actually loved the way Alice and FP handled the situation I mean kudos to Alice for doing the right thing and suggesting not just therapy but a therapist that specialises in child therapy. I think that is exactly what Jelly Bean needs (and all of the characters really) so I’m really glad that Alice suggested that. At the same time I do think FP was right in deciding to take Jelly Bean back to her mum and stay so that Jelly bean has the support of both of her parents there. I do think that alot of Jelly Bean’s anxiety about Jughead leaving comes from her abandonment issues. If you think about it first her family is split in two with her being in Toledo with her mum and her brother and dad being in Riverdale, then her family comes back together again and she’s then abandoned by her mother. Then her brother leaves to go to school and is nearly killed. All of this was probably really traumatic for her and obviously had a huge effect on her. I think having a stable support system away from Riverdale and its influences for a little while will be good for her and help her recover with some help from therapy, lots of therapy. 

One thing I didn’t really understand and think could have been better explained is what happened with Jelly Bean’s friends. I mean for one thing we are never told why they are hiding out in Archie’s gym like don’t they have homes? Also they had Tom Keller reinstated as Sheriff and they took him with them to find the kids so does that mean they were arrested? And if they were arrested then why did Jelly Bean get off scott free? I have so many questions about that scene. 

FP’s send off was really well done in my opinion. I had a lot of respect for him putting his foot down and telling Jughead no he was going to Iowa when Jug said he wanted to go to Toledo with his dad and Jelly Bean. Also that speech about how Jug going to College and being successful will be good for the Joneses is so true. I mean seeing Jughead go to college and making something of himself will give Jelly Bean something to look up to and for her to know that just because she comes from a family that is underpriveledge doesn’t mean that she can’t strive for success and chase her dreams and I think that is an amazing message to send. That being said seeing FP and Jughead say good bye was really sad and you could feel the emotion in that scene of a father having to let go of his son and let him make his own way now and also Jughead’s worry about going out on his own again and being without his family. It was just a touching scene and one that I relate to so much because it reminded me of when I said goodbye to my mum when I went to Uni and that mix of excitement and terror at having to be on my own, I left home at 16 but I had never been that far away from my family before so despite knowing that I could take care of myself (I had already taken care of myself  for 3 years at this point) I was still really anxious at being away from my mum so I could really relate to Jughead in that moment. He knows he can take care of himself he’s done it before but that doesn’t mean that he isn’t anxious about not being in the same town as his dad anymore. 

Speaking of heartbreaking scenes Alice saying goodbye to FP. It was beautiful, sad and yet hopeful at the same time. I mean when she asked if this was the end of their story and he replied ‘god, I hope not’ it really made me tear up.  Also I love that Alice understood why he needed to do this and even says she loves him for it. FP has grown so much over the last 4 seasons and now he’s become a man who will do anything for his kids and I think Alice really does love that about him. Also I’m going to be honest I felt so bad for Alice this episode especially when she was talking about how she had imagined Thanksgiving and having her whole family there Betty and Polly and the twins, Jughead, Jelly Bean, FP and Charles and now she’s going to be alone that is just so sad and feel really bad for Alice despite mistakes she may have made in the past she doesn’t deserve the deal she’s been dealt. Also as a side note I’m glad they at least made a small mention of Charles and how Alice is sad about that situation, I actually wasn’t expecting his name to be dropped at all this episode so it was better than nothing. 

The last thing I will say about this plotline is that I loved the shot of FP and Jelly Bean riding away in their Serpent jackets and being escorted by the Serpents. It gave a feel of royalty on the move like a motorcade or something which I thought was a nice touch and a little reminder of how Serpents stick by each other. 

The Graduation

Obviously the big theme of this episode was the teens graduating and those scenes were really touching. First there was the whole debate about whether Jug and Arch would be graduating. I was happy for Jug but felt so bad for Archie when he find out that not only was he not graduating but he would have to repeat his whole senior year. I do like that Mr Weatherby reassured him that nobody would hold the year against Archie because Archie really did have a crappy year so it’s not really surprising he isn’t able to graduate. I’m also glad that Weatherby said he could walk with his friends and wanted to make him feel included by asking him to write and record a song for the ceremony. I’m also really glad that they got to have their year books. 

But what I think made these moments so much more emotional were all the little nods to both Jason and Fred. I got the feels so much when Archie was standing in the hall looking around at all the other teens with their parents and fathers and you could just see that in that moment he was really missing his dad. Another moment that was really sad for me was a little earlier in the episode when Archie has the same dream his dad had when he had been shot and its fred taking pictures for Graduation and says he never thought he’d live to see this day. It is so heartbreaking because he really didn’t and its not fair.  Also Cheryl was in her feels about her brother. I mean it must make her really miss Jason when you think he should have been graduating alongside her.  

Betty’s speech at the ceremony was good too. There were so many moments in there that punched you right to the gut. When she talked about how it wasn’t fair that so many of their classmates weren’t there to walk with them, I couldn’t help but think of Jason, Midge, Ben, Dilton Doiley and even characters who didn’t die but left riverdale just to escape like Moose and Josie. Then she gives another punch to the heart when she talks about how its not fair that some of their parents aren’t there to see them and I’m back in my Fred feels. I also liked how she said she hoped the Riverdale they all remembered was the sleepy quiet town that existed before all the violence and how she wishes that town for the next generation. But my favourite part of her speech was when she said to stay young to stay innocent even if it was just for a moment. 

Another scene I really liked was when they buried the time capsule. I liked all the items they placed in there, I don’t think that they would be much help to teens opening it in the future to see what it was like back then but each item was personal to each character and I really liked that. 

Cheryl, Toni and the Blossom Legacy. 

First off can I just talk about Penelope for a moment and how funny that scene at graduation was. She literally just popped out of the bushes and was kinda sweet in a very weird way I mean it was nice that she wanted to see Cheryl graduate but at the same time she still called her a nightmare child which I don’t know maybe it’s a term of endearment. Also I love how she’s decided to turn herself in but has done it in a way that best suits her, like she’s spoken to Hiram to make sure she is comfortable and protected in his jail and also she’s only planning to be in there a few years. Lets be real I think mostly the only reason she is doing this is because she’s tired of hiding in the walls so she figures a few years behind bars won’t be so bad if it means she can walk around freely afterwards. 

Now onto Cheryl I was surprised that she decided not to go to College and instead she wants to rebuild Thorn Hill and the Blossom name. Also as sad as the scene where they kind of break up is I do think it will better for Toni now that Cheryl has let her go. I do think they will come back together again but I think they need a little distance from each other as Toni has become too wrapped up in all the Blossom drama. I think Toni needs to focus on herself for a while and Cheryl knows this. I also love that Cheryl is doing all of this so that she can be a person worthy of Toni and escape the curse of her family’s name. It is interesting to me that Cheryl is choosing to kind of return to her roots and regrow and I am excited to see how they have both grown come the timejump.  

The Core Four     

So alot happened with the core four this episode and you know I actually kinda liked what they did with them. As a Barchie shipper at first I was upset that Archie and Betty didn’t get a one on one scene like the others did. At first it made no sense to me I mean Veronica and Archie got one, Archie and Jughead got one, Veronica and Betty got one so it seemed really odd to me that Betty and Archie who have been childhood friends didn’t get a big goodbye scene or an emotional talk about the kiss like the others did. But then I figured that actually it bodes really well for Barchie that they didn’t get that emotional scene. Why you might ask? Well I’m sure B*ghead and V*rchie shippers will disagree with me and that’s fine this is just my interpretation of it but I do feel like they closed the book on the original couples this episode. To me it did kinda feel like a goodbye to V*rchie and B*ghead. Now I’m not saying that they’ll never reopen those books, I don’t know what the future will hold but for now it definitely feels like those couples have come to an end and gotten closure. However Betty and Archie never got that and I think the reason for that is because their story isn’t done yet. There are a couple of other reasons why I think that they are deliberately leaving the Barchie storyline open and that’s the shot at the end of the episode when Jug a year later is at Pop’s and when the door opens and he looks over its Barchie look a likes. I thought this was really interesting. Like why choose to have two people who look like Betty and Archie come through that door. Was it because they are the two who Jughead misses the most? I mean lets be honest he wasn’t that close to Veronica (which was criminal in my opinion but I digress). What I find most interesting is that these two look a likes are clearly a couple. One theory could be that this is suppose to show that Jughead is still hurt by Betty and Archie’s kiss. But I think it could also be a little nod of what’s to come I mean this scene is shot with Jughead narrating about the future over the top and how they would all be different people. Of course it could be wishful thinking on my part. Another reason I think they might still have the book open for Barchie is because of something RAS said a while back, I can’t find it now but it was something along the lines of how we still hadn’t heard all of Archie’s song and that Betty had kept one of her diary’s and so the door was still open for Barchie. He specifically mentioned these two things. Well since then we have now heard the whole song but the diary still hasn’t come back into play yet which makes me wonder if it will after the timejump. Of course it could just be that the writers forgot about it or changed it but I’m choosing to cling to that little bit of hope. Also there is the fact that KJ talked about how he’s been working alot with Lili so I do still think we should be getting plenty of Barchie content in the next coming episodes.

So now I want to talk about Veronica and Archie. When I saw the promo and realised that they were probably going to have another love scene I was a bit wary about it as I wasn’t sure it was at all necessary. But surprisingly I actually didn’t mind it. I could understand the feelings behind it. They both knew that their relationship is over but that doesn’t mean that the love they have for each other has just disappeared it doesn’t work that way. So I can understand why they wanted one more night together, to live in a moment and not worry about anything else. I actually thought it was really sweet. I also think Veronica’s reaction to Archie joining the Army was understandable. I mean she already feels like she is losing him, she’s going away to college and their relationship has come to an end and then on top of all that she finds out that he is joining the army and will likely end up in a warzone where he could be hurt or even killed that must be terrifying for her. On top of that whilst I think she suspected that he was thinking about it his decision is sudden and so she might feel like he hasn’t thought it through properly. I really felt it when she was talking to Betty and said that the thing that was eating her up was the way it was ending, that it was unresolved and that she had wished she had said goodbye and hugged him on more time. Which brings me to one of my favourite scenes of the episode. I loved when Archie is looking at the photo of his dad and he has the flashbacks of all the things he’s leaving behind in Riverdale, all the things he’s saying goodbye to then he looks out his window and sees Veronica, Betty and Jughead in the Jalopy. I don’t know why but something about this scene made me feel a little choked up and the soundtrack that went along with it was chilling. I think the goodbye scene between Archie and Veronica was again really sweet and I think it was a nice end to their romantic relationship. 

Ok Betty and Jughead next. Now I might not have been a B*ghead shipper but I didn’t hate them as a couple and I like and care about their characters so seeing their break up was so painful. My heart really did break for them. I mean the moment Betty says that she has to tell him something and you see his eyes well up and him whisper ‘oh no’ our boy knew what was coming and I think it was something he dreaded but also always believed would happen eventually. Just like the V*rchie love scene I really did think I would hate the B*ghead love scene but again I think it made sense for the characters in that moment. They were both in pain and looking for comfort and were just clinging to that moment because deep down they both knew what was coming but wanted to hold it off as long as possible. It wasn’t at all the healthiest way of dealing with it but it was a very young teenage response. I do want to just say that Cole’s acting in that moment when he finds out the truth was on point he did an amazing job. I mean you can literally see him go through so many emotions in those few seconds, first the dread and realisation, then the shock and pain, then anger, then heartbreak and then desperation. I was surprised that the reason why they break up is ultimately because of the kiss it seemed like from RAS’s interviews that it was going to be the distance that broke them up and whilst it played a part ultimately I do think that it was the kiss that was the main reason. I think alot of what causes that distance between them in those final weeks before Betty leaves is that Jughead knows that its not just a kiss that there are real feelings behind it. I think this is a big reason why they don’t talk about it because I don’t think Jug was ready to actually hear her say it and I don’t think Betty was ready to confront that she does have feelings for Archie. I do feel like Betty and Jughead’s goodbye was sadder because of that distance that grew between them. Whilst I think Archie and Veronica had already excepted that it was over for them Betty and Jughead held on longer and were more in denial in my opinion. But that’s just my interpretation of it. 

Another thing I want to touch on real quick is that I know alot of people didn’t like the reactions Veronica and Jughead had to the whole cheating storyline and thought that they weren’t angry enough but I didn’t mind their reactions. I think they were obviously upset its just that there were bigger things going on in their lives. I mean Veronica says she can’t be angry at Betty right now because of everything that is going on with Archie. That doesn’t mean she won’t go through those stages of anger later, we just either won’t see them or will see them in flashbacks. It’s the same with Jughead he clearly isn’t uneffected, he tells Archie its fine but then we see him and Betty drifting apart because of it so to me their reactions made sense within the context of what was going on at the time. I do think those feelings of anger will come through and that could be why only Jughead shows up a year later. I did think that end scene of seeing Juggie on his own was so heartbreaking. I do wonder why none of them show up. I mean if I was going to guess then I’m assuming Archie was deployed and couldn’t. I’m not sure about Betty and Veronica though unless like I said that anger does eventually come through and her and Betty have a falling out and so its too awkard for them to come but I’m just guessing with that one.       

Now I want to talk a little more about Barchie, I know I touched on it a little before but I want to talk about a couple of other things. The first is Betty’s reaction to hearing Archie was joining the Army. I know alot of people felt like it came across as Betty not caring that Archie had joined especially when you compare her reaction to Veronica’s but I didn’t see it that way at all. Sometimes the best way you can love a person is by accepting and supporting their decisions even if you yourself have doubts about it or fears about it. I think this is what Betty does. If you look at her facial expression in that moment you can see that she’s not happy about the news and that she is concerned but she also knows Archie and she trusts him to make his own decisions and to trust his own judgement so she chooses to support him. Right before she says that she supports him he says that for the first time he doesn’t feel scared or uncertain about the future and I think Betty trusts in his certainty. Also I loved their hug goodbye. It might only have been short but it was adorable I especially liked how Betty buried her nose in his shoulder so she could smell his jacket one last time. I also thought it was cute how he said see you in a year to her even if that didn’t end up happening. Another thing that I thought was interesting is going back to those flashbacks I mentioned earlier, it was odd and interesting that none of those flashbacks had any one on one scenes of Betty, she was included in some of the group shots but no Barchie moments not even just friendship moments. Again I said I did feel like this moment was Archie saying goodbye to those things he was leaving behind, this episode as a whole felt like a goodbye or a closing of a chapter but at no point in the episode did I feel like he was saying goodbye to Betty. Even when they hug it ends with him saying see you in a year which to me is interesting and again really does make me think that they are leaving that door open for Barchie. Of course it could just me but I do feel like the writers made a consious decision to make sure that it didn’t feel like Barchie were getting closure. 

Time jump/ 5x04 Theories.

To finish off I just want to throw out some theories of what I think is going to happen in the next episode and maybe a little further into the time jump and I am basing these off some spoilers we got but largely the two promos that have been released. So if you are trying to stay completely spoiler free about the time jump then stop reading now. 

So I am going to start with the first promo that was released and go through it sort of shot by shot and talk about any notes I have if that makes sense. 

1) We know that Archie went to war and I’ve already made a post about this but the first few shots was scenes of war on a football pitch which I did sadly see quite a few people laughing about. The reason why that saddens me and I’m trying not to judge anyone here because I know people sometimes use humor to deal with dark subjects but this is obviously a flashback Archie is having from his time at war not actual scenes of the war if that makes sense. I think the scene will be Archie coaching the boys and maybe he sees one of the boys get tackled to the ground and that triggers a flashback which is why in those scenes you can see football players laying on the ground as well as soldiers. Personally this isn’t something I can laugh about just because of the serious nature of the topic but then people might not have realised what those scenes were showing so like I said trying not to judge. 

2) This is kinda linked to the one above but I made a theory post way back when season 4 had just finished up and we had just got that casting of Archie’s friend Eric who lost his leg and I said I reckoned the show was going to use Eric to show the physical trauma war can have on a person and that I thought whatever event caused Eric to lose his leg would also injure Archie and that’s why he would return home and that they would use Archie to show the mental trauma that war can have and how Archie was going to be struggling with PTSD and survivor’s guilt. Judging from the scenes in the promo where we see Archie surrounded by explosions and then him in a hospital bed with a officer asking if he was ready to go home I’m sticking with this theory.  

3) It looks like Jughead successfully managed to publish one book but is now struggling to write another it gives me a lot of Lucas vibes from OTH. I reckon once he is back in Riverdale and he finds a new mystery he’ll get past that writers block and I reckon Tabitha will be a help with that as I heard some spoilers that her and Jughead become friends which I am excited to see. 

4) It looks like Betty who is now an FBI agent is going to go through something tramatic as hell in the shots it looks like she is stuck down a well in a barn or something like that and there is a masked figure looking down at her, the whole scene looks terrifying and I’m going to guess that she was working on a case and got captured. 

Ok now I’m going to move on to the next promo. 

5) I’m going to start with this one because it kinda links back to the one above but it looks like Betty is having flashbacks to her captors. There’s a shot of her screaming and a masked man that looks similar to the one in the first promo coming at her with a chainsaw. Now this could be real and there could really be someone invading her home but something makes me feel like she is hallucinating. Also theres a shot that looks like its Archie breaking down Betty’s door and knocking out a guy in a leather coat so maybe this guy breaks in and Betty hallucinates that its the guy who captured her, Archie hears her scream and comes to her rescue. 

6) My eyes could be decieving me on this one but it looks like Barchie are going to get a shower scene. Which as a Barchie shipper obviously I’m excited about that. But I do think the fact that they both seem to be suffering from PTSD and flashbacks is what’s going to bring Barchie back together and they’ll help each other through that. I could see this scene happening right after the invader scene where Archie is trying to comfort Betty. 

7) Toni is an absolute queen. This isn’t really a theory I just wanted to say that I mean did you see those shots of her pregnant on stage all decked out and dancing with the serpents. 

8) This is a theory though Toni as we know is pregnant and my theory for this is either one she had a one night stand with some stranger and that’s whose baby it is or two which I like better she is acting as a kind of surrogate for Kangs but the baby is also hers and Cheryls and the four of them are going to raise it together. Think Silver and Teddy and Shane from 90210. 

9) It’s possible that Cheryl and Toni are married. There’s a shot of Cheryl sitting at a desk and the name plate says Ms Topaz. However it could also just be that Cheryl is sitting at Toni’s desk so I don’t want to get my hopes up too high. Also if they are married it doesn’t explain why Toni is living with Kangs and Cheryl isn’t unless part of the surrogacy deal (if there is one of course) is that Toni has to live with them during the pregnancy. 

10) It looks like the whole gang are going to band together against Hiram who has been wrecking Riverdale I mean there was that shot of Toni and Archie and it looks like the homeless population has gotten out of control so most likely Hiram has been buying then pulling down homes so now alot of people have no where to go. Also it looks like Hiram is trying to shut down Riverdale High so the gang all become teachers to try and keep it open. I don’t think this is going to lead anywhere good and will probably lead to an all out war between the gang and Hiram. 

This isn’t really a theory just a thought I had on a theory but I’ve seen one going around that they think Archie is going to be the dad of Toni’s baby. I don’t think this is likely I just think they might have some friendship building which will be nice to see as I’ve said soo many times now one thing I want from Riverdale is to see different characters interacting so it looks like we are going to get that. Also one of the biggest reasons I don’t think Archie is the baby’s dad is because we see him arriving back in Riverdale so its likely he hasn’t seen Toni to impregnate her but this is Riverdale so who the hell knows pretty much anything is possible. 

Anyway I am going to wrap it up here. I am very excited to see where the season goes so I’ll catch you all on the flip side.  

[miss-choco-chips]

College au part 2

Home, a place where I can go to take this off my shoulders- someone take me home (Machine Gun Kelly, X Ambassadors & Bebe Rexha – Home)

They are there for each other, the good and the bad. That’s what family is for, after all.

-.-.-.-.-.-

-I'm so gay -sighed Miguel almost dreamingly, stopping next to Slobo by the doors leading to the backyard.

Blissfully unaware of them, Tim was going through his usual routine of what seemed a mix of gymnastics, various martial arts and parkour, with a side of dancing to spice things up.

His friend snorted without even raising his eyes from the motorcycle engine he was trying to fix. A blasphemy, in Miguel's humble opinion, to have such an amazing view and to not take advantage of it.

-I know.

He dropped to the ground, head resting on Slobo's shoulder, gaze unwavering in his appreciation of slim muscles and perfectly controlled strength. Tamed power to the fullest.

-I mean like, really really gay.

-Yeah, what else is new? Pass me the motor oil.

He blindly patted the ground for it, picking something vaguely shaped like a can and thrusting it to where he thought were the other's hands.

When Tim bends over and starts stretching, Miguel wheezes and drops the can.

-I'm so stupidly, non functionally gay.

Slobo rolled his eyes and picked it up, his other hand going to close Miguel’s jaw.

-Dude that's all old news. Either come here with fresh gossip, be helpful, or leave. I don't need you making a mess of my stuff. You are getting your hormones all over my individual bubble.

Miguel sighed again, eyes almost physically turning into hearts when Tim stretched his arms over his head.

-Fuck, I can’t handle this much inner gay. It’s overwhelming.

-Nothing inner about it, dude. You’re dripping it all over my work station. Can’t you go be a disaster gay somewhere else?

-Tim is here, so no can do.

-Can’t you just ask him out and save us all the pining show and second hand embarrassment? 

A few meters away, Tim had taken out the bo staff and was practicing some moves. He accidentally brushed a branch (a thick one, from the pine tree Kon’s grandparents had made him plant upon moving there), and snapped it in half. He seemed kinda sheepish about it, which was both adorable and terrifying. Miguel was scared and horny.

-He’d destroy me.

Slobo hummed, hand reaching up to pat Miguel in the shoulder.

-Sounds like something you’d be kinda into, though.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

-This coffee tastes like dirt -complained Tim, while chugging half the pot in one long gulp. 

Distantly, Cassie noted there was still steam coming out of the liquid. Hadn’t Tim just brew it? Also, was it completely dark? No sugar? 

Like her future?

Despairingly, she let her head fall again on the table.

-Why did I get into politics?

-Your pathological need to fulfill Diana’s expectations -replied Cissie, sitting across from her, long hair in what could have been a bun once upon a time but now looked more like a bird’s nest. That had been hit by lighting. Repeatedly.

It strangely suited her. Or it could be Cassie’s adoration for her friend speaking, who the fuck knows.

-Which, I might add -interjected Tim, not waiting for them to say ‘you may’ before continuing. Because he was a rude bastard like that- you invented by yourself. Diana only hopes you don’t end up in jail. And if it's for the right causes, she might even forgive that. 

He dropped to the ground for no discernible reason, back to the cabinets where they kept the fine cutlery they never used. He was staring at the halfway empty pot like it contained the key to conquering mankind.

Knowing Tim, it might actually be true.

-Don’t try to take over the world -she asked, worried he might. Cissie made a confused sound, not privy to Cassie’s internal monologue, but Tim just nodded distractedly, which was all she needed before turning back to her half done paper.

-How are you doing, sis?

-Sis like sister, o Ciss like Cissie? -came Tim’s voice from behind her, probably still sitting on the ground. 

-Yes.

-Oh -the girl in front of her blinked- sorry, you were talking to me? 

-I mean… Tim is not ‘sis’.

-I resent that, I totally could be. Also, seriously, why does my coffee taste like dirt?

-Don’t drink it then. You were saying, honey?

Cassie rested her chin on a hand, elbow carefully to the side of her paper. 

-How are you doing?

-Wondering why did I ever thought studying psychology was a good idea. Why? Who started me on this path, and can I punch them? -her voice raised higher and higher the more distressed she got- Tim? Do you remember?

-Your therapist back in high school got you out of your toxic home life and helped you basically re-build your sense of self worth. Also you like to get into everyone’s business so Kon suggested making a career out of it.

-Remind me to punch him later.

-You could break your hand, and you have an archery competition this friday.

-Kick him, then.

-Got ya.

-Can I just die? -interjected Cassie, phone at hand. Her screen displayed a text sent by a classmate, who updated her on their due date. Apparently, she had calculated wrong and it was way sooner than what she thought- What’s the worst that could happen if I die? I’m sure people would get over it.

-You’d be losing all the progress you made in your career so far -reminded her Cissie.

Tim’s voice joined from behind- Included, but not limited to, that one class you had with the douche professor. Imagine if you lost your progress and had to start over. Imagine having class with him again.

She shivered- That was both incredibly motivational, and unholily terrorizing.

Greta entered the kitchen then. She looked fresh and cute, which was probably due to her having a full night’s sleep.

-Wow, you three have been here the whole night? -she asked, obviously concerned, looking over Cissie’s shoulder at her assignment- Did you guys even make progress? At all? -her eyes discovered Tim’s half assed project, on the place next to where Cissie sat.

If Cassie didn’t love her so much, she would punch her in the face.

Tim sighed.

-I can’t get up. I can’t feel my legs -he admitted. Cassie thinks, she should be worried. Losing sensibility seemed like a serious problem. But, whatever, Greta was here, and she was perfectly well rested. Let her take care of the worrying.

-Tim? Oh my god, are you alright? -she rushed to his side.

-I think the coffee stopped making effect, and my three-on-a-row all nighters caught up to me. Just let me die, Greta. If coffee is not longer working on my body, I might as well let the grim reaper do its thing. 

Cassie couldn’t see her any longer, since she was at her back by Tim’s side, but she could still somehow sense her concern growing.

-Tim... Did you use this bag by the coffee maker to brew it?

-I can’t move my head to look up at what you’re pointing, but I guess I did.

-Oh, honey… that is soil for Kon’s vegetable plot. Not coffee grounds.

-...so that’s why it tasted like dirt. Thank god. Excuse me while I faint.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

-I think Conner is dead on our living room -announced Miguel entering the kitchen. Slobo, Anita and Greta didn’t even blink, just kept their... poker? game going.

-He’s probably just sleeping -the other man waved a hand dismissively- Did you check his pulse or something?

-Ew, no. What if he’s really dead? I don’t want to touch a corpse. Greta, you go touch it.

-Why me? 

-If anyone will need to put their fingerprints in a veritable crime scene, who better than the only one with no criminal record?

-Tim doesn't have it either, go knock on his door and tell him to do it. I’m about to swindle both these jerks.

-There’s a difference between never getting caught by the police, and erasing all virtual proof of your crimes. Tim belongs to the second group. Also, last I checked, he and Bart were working on something on his room. I’m not approaching that danger zone without protective equipment.

-Speaking of -Slobo raised his head, looking around- has anyone bought them food in the last couple of hours?

-Kon, probably. 

-He is dead -he reminded them- Cassie and Cissie are still asleep, and I’m not waking them up. Greta?

Out of their group, Conner was Tim and Bart’s official handler (when Tim was not micromanaging them all, at least; little control freak).  Many people believed he lifted at the gym to get all the girls; in truth, as the boy had once told Miguel, it was so he could carry both his friends to bed in one trip to tuck them in at the same time, because if he did it separately, the one that got to be second always tried to make a run for it. 

In the event he was unavailable, Cassie took over. Her skills with a lasso and years of practice at the rodeo came in handy then, and it never failed to crack him up when he saw how swiftly she caught them both.

And if she wasn’t close or was busy, then Cissie took over for Bart and Greta for Tim, as they could only handle one at the time.

The rest of them were last resource. Second to last was Jason Todd, who as both Tim’s brother and Bart’s TA held a fair amount of power over them.

If Jason told them to fuck off, then Slobo, Miguel and Anita would talk it out among themselves. Slobo would suggest knocking them out. Which, considering Bart’s speed and Tim’s mindblowing ninja training (and where the hell did he learn that, they would never know), wasn’t a very realistic option. Anita suggested drugs; but between Bart’s ADHD medication and Tim’s antibiotics for his lack of spleen and antidepressants, the adverse effects made them all a little uncomfortable with the idea.

Miguel’s own suggestions, which involved a lot of tender care and coddling, where ignored with a few laughs and a shrug.

-Fuck you, I’m not leaving this table so close to cleaning you both up. If you are worried, you go feed them.

Slobo shrugged.

-If they die, I call Tim’s room. Having a roommate is the worst.

-Excuse you -raised an eyebrow Miguel, walking to the fridge for a drink. He might as well watch the game.

-If I have to listen to you practicing your singing before showering one more time...

-If I can deal with you cursing at your phone at five am, you can deal with my melodious voice -Miguel blinked- That’s not poker.

-We are playing Truco.

-What?

-It’s a popular game in Argentina, or so Tim said. He taught us when he was having a coffee break this morning. And by the way: Truco, bitches!

-I’m in! -Slobo yelled back.

Greta looked at her cards impassively, then at the ones laying on the table between the three of them, before raising an eyebrow- I call Re Truco.

Miguel watched them go for a while. He wasn’t sure on the rules, but from the way they kept yelling, he knew it was highly competitive. It also seemed to involve a great amount of deceit, bullshiting and being as poker faced as possible. It made sense that Tim had been the one introducing them to the game. Speaking of…

-Maybe if I knock on the door with a coffee offering, he’ll listen to me without punching my nose in? -he mumbled to himself, aware that the others were ignoring him. Decided to test his luck, he climbed to his feet and readied the coffee maker.

The rest of the afternoon saw Miguel sitting on Tim’s bed, watching from the sidelines how both he and Bart built… something. It had a chainsaw and a mini shield, so maybe a fighting bot? There were some (not very legal) competitions around campus...

It was almost dinner time when he remembered a tiny, small detail.

-Man, I’m so hungry. You guys think dinner is ready? -asked Bart, hand sweeping the sweat off his forehead- Who was in charge of it tonight?

Lightning-like realization hit Miguel.

-Oh, yeah, speaking of that… Kon was probably dead, last time I checked. Maybe we should order a pizza or something?

-Cool, I could do pizza. 

-I’m sorry, Kon was what?!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

-You guys need jobs -told them Tim one morning over breakfast. They had just moved in together, and classes were about to start. Nobody seemed willing to talk about responsibility yet, but he felt like they needed the push to do it.

-I have a job -proudly smiled Bart, eyes never leaving the TV where his character was beating Kon’s into a bloody plump. He didn’t elaborate past that, and Tim made a mental note to investigate further later. Bart’s career was enough, they needn't add another unsolved mystery.

-Where is this coming from, though? We have loads of time for that -scoffed Slobo, watching the game intently.

-Classes are starting soon, and people will be getting all the good jobs. I did some calculations, and the money you guys have been saving for living expenses will run out in two, three months tops. Greta has the coffee shop thing and Cassie just got called back from the movie theatre, but the rest of you need to find some money maker. Stat.

-And what about you? -threw Cissie back, internally agreeing with him but despising the reality check.

Tim looked at her, completely deadpan. Silently, he took out his wallet, fishing three cards (one silver, one golden and one black) from it and showing them to her.

-Even before being adopted by a billionaire, I already was a rich trust fund baby. And now that I’ve said it, I’m gonna avoid getting punched by making my exit. Good luck job hunting.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Cassie and Anita’s room was ground floor, along with the kitchen, living room, laundry area, a medium size bathroom with a shower, and a very small one with only the toilet and sink. The second floor housed Bart and Conner’s room, along with Miguel and Slobo’s, and Cissie and Greta’s, plus the biggest bathroom, with both a tub and shower. The attic had been claimed by Tim, who won that right by paying the deposit for the house on top of his part of the rent. It was the biggest room, the size of the entire house without partitions, with only one separation in the form of the small sized bathroom. He loved his room, would pay twice what he coughed up to have it. It was worth it, every cent.

He loved his attic; The bathroom, however, was another thing. It ran out of warm water constantly.

-This is the second time this month. I love you, but you aren’t burrowing our bath -denied Cissie firmly, arms crossed as she waited outside the door for Greta to finish her shower-. If it was any other day I’d say yes, you know I would, but you aren’t the only one that needs to get ready for the movie, and there’s six of us sharing here. Go ask the girls.

Defeated but understanding, he went another floor down, arms full with his skin and hair care products (he had a image to keep, and one never knew when paparazzi would be around; he and his brothers had a steady competition on who got caught in camera being a ugly mess the least, that he wasn’t willing to lose) and clean clothes. 

Anita shrugged when she opened the door, still naked except from her towel and hair dripping.

-Yeah, Cassie already took hers. Just remember to lock the door, dude. Since its ground floor bathroom, someone always tries to get in to pee when you’re showering, it’s annoying. Also, don’t come at me with complains about hair in the drain, okay? 

Thankful beyond caring, he nodded and hurried towards it.

He wasn’t expecting what he found there. Already halfway to the shower, he stopped to leave his folded clothes on top of the cabinet near the sink when he saw...

-Why are there weapons here? -he couldn't help but scream, clutching a towel to his naked chest. He felt distinctly like a victorian lady preserving her virtue from a foe. It was a very curious feeling.

-I said no judgements!! -Anita yelled back from across the hallway.

-Yeah, regarding hair on the floor! Nobody said anything about weapons!

-So I forgot my katana there after my shower, big deal. Just don’t fall on it, problem solved.

-No, I’m used to seeing your katana, but why the fuck do you girls have cat shaped brass knuckles?

-They are cute and useful! Aren’t you taking a shower, dude? The movie starts soon!

Deciding that this wasn't a battle worth picking, he turned on the warm water. Ahh, nice, wonderful hot water.

-Oh, Tim! -came Cassie’s yell- Don’t lock the door, forget what Anita said! I need to put on my make up and that mirror is better than the one in our room.

-I’m gonna be showering though.

-And?

Yeah, she had a point. Shrugging, he made sure the door was unlocked before stepping under the water and closing the curtain.

He heard her coming in and rummaging through one of the little bags he saw on the sink cabinet. He couldn't help but ask.

-Why do you guys keep weapons here?

-They are for when we are most vulnerable.

-With thighs like yours you’re never vulnerable.

-I love you. But just pretend I have noodle legs, for argument’s sake.

-Mkay. 

-Well, name one instance when you’re more weak and exposed than when you’re taking a shower.

-...Yeah, I follow. Still seems a bit excessive, but I do like that pointy needle thing you have by the blow dryer. I need to get my sister one of those, cute and deadly like her.

-That? Oh, honey, no, that’s a hair pin. 

-If you put your hair in a bun and use that as an ornament, you’d never be unarmed, that’s all I’m saying. Again, cute and deadly. 

-...You’ve opened my eyes.

-You’re welcome. May I borrow your eyeliner?

-Sure, but why? You don’t usually use makeup.

-If I make myself long enough wings, maybe I’ll be able to fly away from my problems. Or look fabulous enough to not care about them.

-In moments like this I’m reminded of my undying love for you. Do my eyes too.

-Gotcha.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

He came home five minutes after receiving the text, chest heaving from the run and heart beating furiously for a entirely different reason.

Cassie, phone at hand, was waiting by the door. Her eyes were solemn.

-What happened? -he asked, not bothering with niceties as he stepped in and closed the door behind him.

-Family dinner went wrong -she shrugged-, not that he told me. Bart was playing games when he walked in and he texted Jason, who told him, and then he came to me.

Fuck them, Kon thought uncharitably. The Waynes were both an awesome family, and boarding on toxic. Guessing which kind were they going to be any given week was like playing lottery. It was such a Murphy law thing that they went for shitty this particular weekend, where Tim could have used their love and support the most.

-How is Jason? -he asked, not that he cared too much, but because he knew Tim would want to know sooner or later.

-Bart didn’t say, but he did mention he was hanging out with Kori and Roy, and Artemis said in the family group chat to not bother her tonight, so I’m assuming she’s there too.

-Biz is still at the farm, but three is better than nothing -he sighed, taking off his coat and walking towards the stairs- Bart?

-He just convinced Tim to take a bath in the big tub, so he’s probably standing guard by the door.

A nod, Kon’s steps hurried with purpose now that he had a clear destination in mind.

-The others?

Cassie waved vaguely towards the arch on the wall leading to the living room. Kon could see someone moving there from the corner of his eye, but didn’t turn to check; he wouldn't be derailed from his path.

-Greta went to the attic to clean Tim’s room a bit. You know he doesn't have the strength to do it himself right now, but seeing it like that also makes him feel worse. Cissie and Anita are readying the living room for a movie night, picking up all the pillows and blankets in the house. A pillow fort might be in the making.

They were on the second floor now. Kon could see Bart ahead, back resting against the wall, just by the side of the door.

-Slobo ran to Tim’s favorite pizza place -Cassie kept going, keeping pace with him- and should be back soon; Miguel went to the store to buy comfort food, sweets and stuff. Ice cream too, probably.

Conner nodded again, glad to see everyone was following their protocol for these kind of situations. All their housemates accounted for, he stopped in front of Bart and patted his shoulder comfortingly. He was very empathetic, tended to pick up on everyone’s moods, specially Tim’s, and let himself be influenced by them. The shadows on his eyes were probably a mirror image of how their friend currently taking a bath was doing. Not so hot, apparently.

-I’ll take it from here, you guys go put on your pajamas and help the girls get everything ready -he suggested, eyes going to Cassie’s. She nodded, understanding that her mission now was to calm Bart down. Helping Anita and Cissie would do wonders for him.

On most situations, the group tended to follow Tim’s lead, their indisputable commander in chief; when he couldn’t be there, or was too emotionally compromised, Cassie would take over. However, in this particular scenario, everyone deferred to him for some reason. Maybe because he’s been with Tim for the longest time, maybe because he knew him best. It didn’t matter; all he cared about was that it made his work easier, and they seemed glad to have a task they could focus on, rather than dwelling in concern.

Softly, he rapped his knuckles against the door.

-Tim? I’m coming in, dude -he informed him, voice low as to not spook him if he was dissociating. The last they needed was him slipping in the shower.

When no answer came, he entered the steamy bathroom, door closing behind him. As Cassie had predicted, Tim was sitting in the almost full tub, knees hugged to his chest and chin resting above them. His eyes went to Conner when he approached him though, which was a good enough sign to make him visibly sigh in relief.

Tim’s eyes narrowed, as if he wanted to snap at him that he didn’t need them to take care of him, but then he just deflated and looked ahead again, not nearly strong enough to fight.

Knot growing on his chest, Kon sat by the tub’s edge- Hey there. You’re not looking very cool right now. Have I ever told you I despise like 66% of your family?

-Three out of six is not 66%.

-Three? I only like Alfred and Cass.

-You don’t dislike Jason.

-I mean, it varies from moment to moment. But I’ll give you that since you’re feeling bad, and concede on 50%.

Tim snorted a little, and his eyes didn’t look as dead as they had when Kon first came in, so he gave himself infinite Best Friend points.

-Want to talk about it? -he asked gently, hand on Tim’s wet shoulder. He felt more like saw him shrug.

-Nothing to tell, really… It was more of the same shit. I love them, but sometimes they…

-Don’t make it easy, huh?

-...yeah. I don’t even know why I’m so fucked up over it, I’m used to this.

Kon squeezed his shoulder- Your psychiatrist warned you, this week was gonna be tough even without the family drama.  Your body is adjusting to the new medication, and it…

-Yeah, yeah, I know -he sighs, sinking deeper into the water- I just… I just hate this. That my brain works like that, that I worry you all, that I can’t just fucking deal with it alone. You know what Jack used to say about mental illness…

-A stupid bastard’s words shouldn't be taken seriously. And you know we don’t like the J word in this house, it’s one of the rules.

Tim’s smile, small and tentative, was a thing of beauty. It never failed to remind Kon why he put so much effort into making the situation better for his friend, when he saw that it actually did help.

-You guys can’t just erase my father from my memory by sheer force of will and avoidance of the topic.

-Sure we can -he gave his shoulder a  light pat-. The boys will be here soon with food, and I heard a movie night is in order. You done with your bath? We could stay here longer if you want to, though.

Tim’s smile grew a little bit, cheeks warming, delighted despite himself at the love and care that was being bestowed upon him. Some time ago, he might have fought them over it; the progress was hard earned, but Kon wouldn't change a single thing about it.

-Yeah, I just have to put conditioner on and comb my hair -he hesitated a bit, glancing down at his arms hugging his legs and probably weighing their strength-. Could you, uh… do it for me?

Kon had already been reaching for the bottle even before he asked.

There was little he could do to help Tim, medical wise. But there were professionals for that, and after many late night talks and specially bad episodes, Tim had gotten better at seeking their help when needed.

What he could do was no less important, though; making sure their home was a safe, supportive, non-toxic place for him to come back to.

That’s what best friends-- what family was there for.

[howaminotinthestrokesyet]

Behind The Album: St. Anger/Some Kind of Monster

St. Anger

Metallica‘s eighth studio album was released in 2003 produced for the last time by Bob Rock. The record has largely been seen as the worst one ever released by the band. Some very troublesome issues led up to the making of this release beginning in January 2001 when Jason Newsted quit the group. He had come to the other band members as they began talks about a new album with the request to wait a year, so he could work on his side project band Echobrain . James Hetfield flatly refused in not allowing this to occur. He was rumored to say this at the time of Newsted’s request. “When someone does a side project, it takes away from the strength of Metallica", and that a side project is "like cheating on your wife in a way.” The bassist argued that Hetfield had contributed to the South Park film’s soundtrack, as well as to Corrosion of Conformity albums. The singer responded by saying that he never included his name to those titles and absolutely did not try to sell it. On January 17, Jason Newsted released a statement resigning from Metallica. He was quitting for “private and personal reasons, and the physical damage I have done to myself over the years while playing the music that I love.” Years later, Lars Ulrich would say in an interview that unfortunately Newsted had to be sacrificed in order to save the band. There existed deeper issues between himself and James Hetfield that still needed to be addressed. He further said that the band as it exists now is how they should have existed when Newsted was a member of the group.

Metallica still decided to proceed with a new album anyway as they hired Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofski to document via film the entire recording process. Three months later James Hetfield put the entire project on hold as he entered rehab for alcoholism and other addictions. He would get out of rehab in December 2001, but the band would not enter the studio until April 2002. Upon his return, he was only allowed to work four hours a day because the rest of his time was to be spent with his family. Due to Metallica‘s internal issues along with Hetfield’s return from rehab, the band hired a personal enhancement coach by the name of Phil Towle to work through their issues. For his part, Newsted would make the comment that the decision to hire a therapist was "really fucking lame and weak.” The day that he actually quit came after a 9.5 hour band meeting that would be the first one with Towle. All of this would be documented in the film Some Kind of Monster, which depicts Metallica almost breaking up in the most honest music film probably ever portraying an actual train wreck happening in front of your eyes.

In May 2002, the band actually sat down and started recording the actual album at what is called HQ, their own studio in San Rafael, California. The decision was made to have Bob Rock play bass on the album instead of hiring a new person immediately. They would record the record, then look for someone after the fact. James Hetfield would say this about the record. “There's two years of condensed emotion in this. We've gone through a lot of personal changes, struggles, epiphanies, it's deep. It's so deep lyrically and musically. [St. Anger] is just the best that it can be from us right now." From the outset, the group wanted to create a very raw type of sound to symbolize the state of their emotions over the previous couple of years. The album also represented another major departure for the band as they embraced aspects of nu metal, speed metal, and alternative metal. They worked with Rock to make an album that embraced an unpolished sound, which meant he barely mixed the recording at all. He would elaborate on the entire thought process of St. Anger’s production. “We wanted to do something to shake up radio and the way everything else sounds. To me, this album sounds like four guys in a garage getting together and writing rock songs. There was really no time to get amazing performances out of James. We liked the raw performances. And we didn't do what everyone does and what I've been guilty of for a long time, which is tuning vocals. We just did it, boom, and that was it." Another fateful decision came in the fact that Kirk Hammett did not play any guitar solos on the album. He would later say in an interview that they tried to use some, but it kept sounding like an afterthought rather than an organic part of the song. The biggest criticism of St. Anger represented the drumming of Lars Ulrich, who made the decision not to use a snare on his snare drum. Ulrich said, "One day I forgot to turn the snare on because I wasn't thinking about this stuff. At the playbacks, I decided I was really liking what I was hearing—it had a different ambience. It sang back to me in a beautiful way." This makes the drumming sound include a giant ringing noise throughout the 75 minute LP.

Metallica would release the new album in June 2003, but they did so five days ahead of schedule due to their ongoing battle with Napster. They did not want any songs to be illegally downloaded and leaked ahead of time. The release debuted at number one on the Billboard chart selling 417,000 copies in its first week. The lead single “St. Anger” would go on to win a Grammy for Best Metal Song. Three other singles were released with the second track “Frantic” going all the way to number two on the mainstream rock charts. Reviews by critics were mixed over the band’s new sound. They liked the raw passion found on the album, but they continually commented that it sounded terrible. Adrien Begran of Pop Matters had this observation. “While it's an ungodly mess at times, what you hear on this album is a band playing with passion for the first time in years." Other reviews remained positive like Rolling Stone praised the band for stripping down metal to its bare essentials without the need for solos, choruses, and any kind of structure whatsoever. Other critics were not so complimentary of the record. Pitchfork had this to say about it. Ulrich was “playing a drum set consisting of steel drums, aluminum toms, programmed double kicks, and a broken church bell. The kit's high-end clamor ignored the basic principles of drumming: timekeeping. Hetfield and Hammett's guitars underwent more processing than cat food. When they both speedstrummed through St. Anger, and most other movements, [Hetfield and Hammett] seemed to overwhelm each other with different, terrible noise. Also the duration of most songs made it boring to hear them." Ouch. Years later, Lars would still stand behind his decision about the snare drum on the album. James Hetfield also agreed that he would not change it, but did note that production mistakes may have been made. “St. Anger could use a little less tin snare drum, but those things are what make those records part of our history."

Some Kind of Monster

The minute the filmmakers came in around April 2001, Metallica seemed to be slowly imploding. There existed a definite tension between all the band members as they were struggling to come up with new ideas for music, while at the same time wanting drastically to get away from one another. One issue became an even greater snag when Hetfield left for rehab, but they continued to film Hammett and Ulrich’s therapy sessions. Berlinger would say this about filming those meetings. “Lars felt the therapy sessions were actually enabled by the presence of the cameras. He felt the cameras forced them to be honest." Upon Hetfield’s return from rehab, the singer wondered whether they should even continue filming the sessions, but changed his mind once he saw the raw footage. Elektra Records now began to become concerned over the rising cost of the filming and wondered whether they should turn it into a reality show. Metallica told them that they had envisioned a documentary film, so they bought the rights to it for $4.3 million. Hetfield continued to have some misgivings about various scenes included in the film. For example, Lars and his wife sell an art piece for $13.4 million at an auction, which he thought was “downright embarrassing.” The drummer would not relent on this saying that his passion for art is a vital piece of his personality. “If you're going to paint a portrait of the people in Metallica, that has to play a role, because that is who I am."

The documentary’s plot also included some very strange and surreal scenes. For one, Lars interviews Dave Mustaine of Megadeth asking him about the past. Another scene shows all three band members attending a live concert by Newsted’s band Echobrain, where you can see Lars complain about not being able to keep his own band together. As recording begins, Hetfield and Ulrich go to war with one another. The singer demands the conditions that any recorded material can only be discussed in his presence. The drummer comes back at him saying that he is too controlling which led to a major confrontation. Hetfield then says to the camera that his need to control everything probably stems from his fear of abandonment in childhood. For his part, Kirk Hammett always remained calm no matter what does to a lesser extent complain about the complete absence of guitar solos. Gradually, their chemistry begins to improve as they work toward the finished product. They begin to work a lot of their problems out by writing lyrics to individual songs. Ulrich is able to release some feelings about the Napster lawsuit by writing the lyrics to “Shoot Me Again.” As the band begins to get along much better, they stop listening to any advice from Towle. The group thinks that he has become too much a part of their inner circle, so the need arose to distance themselves from him. The therapist becomes very defensive when they approach him about restricting access. Towards the end of the film, they hire Robert Trujillo as their new bassist because they were scheduled to perform on MTV Icon. A bone of contention over the years was the fact that Trujillo’s $1 million signing bonus was included in the film. Upon the movie’s release, Some Kind of Monster received mostly positive reviews by critics earning an 89 on Rotten Tomatoes. Owen Gleiberman of Entertainment Weekly said this, “One of the most revelatory rock portraits ever made."

Lars Ulrich would say upon reflection that it was one of the first times that the band had actually communicated with each other without the assistance of alcohol. Dave Mustaine caused a little bit of drama as he denied the band from using any footage of his interview with Lars in 2001. They still included the footage because he had previously signed a release giving them access and the right to use it. The Megadeth singer would call this the “final betrayal” until six years later when they reconciled during a concert. At the time, Ulrich responded by saying this about Mustaine. “So put these three facts down, he was in our band for a year. He never played on a Metallica record [official release], and it was 22 years ago. It's pretty absurd that it still can be that big a deal."

[wordsfromthesol]

A Better Reality

Author: @wordsfromthesol Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader Summary:  You just began a new job at Arkham Asylum and your newfound talent allows you to help a certain masked vigilante. Warnings: Language…I think that’s it? Word Count: 2.8k Taglist: @ghost-brocolli  (You seemed real excited for it, so I tagged you  😉 ) A/N: So, this so isn’t where I was expecting this story to go…but oh well. Here it is! Also there’s a song...so recording is how I envision it sounding, but like you obvi don’t need to listen to grasp the story.

Everyone said you were crazy to move to Gotham, and you totally understood but you couldn’t help feeling like you were meant to be here. It seemed like everything went wrong in your life all at once, and everything else was pushing you towards Gotham. A psychologist position opened up at Arkham Asylum, just as your old job let you go. Granted, a position opened up at Arkham every few months, but you chose to overlook that fact. You had an unusually high tolerance for psychopaths and thought you may actually be able to help some of these people.

You started work just days after you moved in and quickly realized you had a knack for helping those affected by Scarecrow’s fear toxin. An earlier formula had caused several people to go insane and unshockingly they all ended up in Arkham. After a few months, you even started treating Jonathan Crane himself. Though, you only got in three sessions before the villain broke out of the prison.

It had been a long day, everyone at the prison was frantic given the escaped convict, and all you wanted to do was curl up on the couch with hot chocolate and a good book. The universe had other plans, on your way home you saw people running from the metro station. No. Not already. You immediately got out of your car and tried to calm those far enough away from the station – after all you saw first hand what the gas was capable of and you did not need that toxin in your brain.

“Okay, miss…miss can you hear me?” The woman nodded as you approached her, careful to maintain your distance. “I need you to listen, find a sound and focus only on that. It can be the sound of the cars going by or the buzzing of the streetlights. Can you do that for me? Focus only –” your voice cut off as you noticed a figure standing on the ledge of the nearby apartment building. No no no, not on my watch buddy. You ran towards the building and leapt up to the fire escape. I think this is the most I’ve exercised in years. Finally, you reached the top of the building and slowed your pace. You didn’t know how the toxin was affecting this person and you definitely didn’t want to be attacked tonight.

“What a beautiful night, you come up here often?” The masked figure briefly turned their head in your direction before resuming their gaze over Gotham. Okay, well at least they won’t attack me. You get a little closer and sit on the ledge of the building before you look up and realize that the figure is the infamous Red Hood. You could only imagine what the gas was projecting into his mind. “Listen to those police sirens. I wonder how long their sirens will be on. The noise of the sirens must be distracting so many people.” Giving him time to reflect on your words, and hopefully focus on the police sirens, you watch the panic spreading below. When he didn’t step back from the ledge you started again. “Hey, can you do me a favor? I’ve been working on this song and it would be great to have someone else’s opinion.” You noticed the slight nod he gave, at least I think that was directed at me. “I need you to really listen though, focus on the lyrics and the sound of my voice. Only my voice.” With that you began to show part of yourself that no one had ever seen.

“I’ve lost my grip on reality

Can’t seem to trust my reality

Don’t know who to turn to

I don’t know where to go

No one hears me crying

As I’m fighting back the pain

I’ve lost it all

And I don’t know where to find it

 How do you start a search

When you don’t know what you’re looking for

But it’s echoing through you like a ghost

Oh it chills me to the bone

How do I not know

I’m choking back the tears

As the world is shattering

How do I not know

 I’ve lost my grip on reality

Can’t seem to trust my reality

Don’t know who to turn to and

I don’t know where to go

No one hears me crying

As I’m fighting back the pain

I’ve lost it all

And I don’t know where to find it

 Can it be I’ve disappeared

Or gotten lost along the way

Oh I’ve risked it all

And now the darkness is calling my name

Where’s the strength to push it back

Oh how do I not know

I’ve just…

 I’ve lost my grip on reality

Can’t seem to trust my reality

Don’t know who to turn to and

I don’t know where to go

No one hears me crying

As I’m fighting back the pain

I’ve lost it all

And I don’t know where to find it

 How do I begin to find it

Where do I find it…”

The masked vigilante, at some point during your outburst, sat beside you and was now staring directly at you. He placed a hand on your knee before letting himself fall off the building.

“NO!” You screamed before you saw him land on a nearby rooftop. Has to be fucking dramatic doesn’t he. You got up from the edge of the building and slowly made your way back to your car.

As soon as you got home your head hit the pillow and you were out like a light. Waking up the next morning was brutal, you kept replaying the rooftop moment in your head. The toxin didn’t seem to affect him the way it did others, he only seemed to want to hurt himself. He didn’t abandon all his morals or start hallucinating (at least you think). What could possibly be in his head, that his greatest fear is himself?

Work was surprisingly dull, but you were grateful that it was Friday. You could go home and try to forget about last nights events. Or so you thought. Knee deep in a new book, you heard a knock at the fire escape. Red Hood? What the hell. You motioned for him to come in.

“You know, this is Gotham. You should probably lock that.”

“Oh look, he does speak when his mind hasn’t been infected with fear gas. Good to know.”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m here. I guess I wanted to thank you.”

“Of course, it’s kind of my job so.”

“But I’m not one of your Arkham patients.”

Of course, he already knew who you were. “Not yet anyways” you arched your eyebrow and gave him a sly smirk. Without another word, he seemed to make himself right at home. Walking into the kitchen, he opened all the cabinets in search of a mug and poured it full of the hot chocolate sitting on the stove before joining you on the couch.

“So is that like your go-to song when people tweak out on fear gas?”

“Heh, I don’t usually break into song during my sessions.” You lean in closer to him, “Despite what you’ve heard, life isn’t a musical.”

“Damn, well if I had your voice I would make mine a musical. Think of all the fantastic numbers I could do while punching people in the face. So much material to work with.”

“I don’t even think you would need to punch them if you broke into song. They would just collapse on the floor out of shear surprise.”

“Hey, whatever works doll…I just asked because. Those lyrics.”

“Yeah, I thought they may be applicable, that’s why I picked it.”

“You have more?! I gotta hear them now.”

“Psh, in your dreams maybe Red. I don’t even know you.”

“Do you want to?”

“Well,” you chuckled to yourself, “you’re in luck. I just moved here and don’t know a soul. You seem like a good person to start with.”

You must have talked the whole night with the vigilante before falling asleep on the couch, at least you don’t remember ever making your way to the bedroom. Yet here you were, waking up Saturday morning in your own bed, with the smell of French toast and coffee coming from the kitchen. What the fuck, is he still here? You pull back the covers and make your way to the kitchen to find someone cooking breakfast. Though that someone was no longer in his Red Hood get up, but you caught a glimpse of a mask.

“You’re in my apartment.”

“Yeah, I made a ‘thank you’ breakfast.” He turned from the stove and did a half bow. “You’re welcome, you’re welcome.”

Rolling your eyes, you walked over and grabbed coffee before gesturing at his outfit. “Did you even sleep? Or was the outfit change more important?”

“Well I didn’t want to hide this jawline from your view. That would just be cruel and unusual punishment.”

“And we wouldn’t want that after I saved your life.”

“Exactly. Now sit and prepare to be amazed.”

 ***

“Wow, okay, I’m amazed.” You mumbled out while shoveling more of the delicious food into your mouth.

“Slow down there, you aren’t on death row.”

You glared up at him but were too enveloped in the food to formulate a response.

“So, did you ever figure out how to find it?”

Can’t he just let me eat in peace. “Find what?”

“Your reality?”

“Oh man, are we going there?” Red Hood just shrugged if off, though he was actually curious. “Alright, Red. The truth is, not always. Some days things seem to be going well and the next day it feels like my entire life has exploded in my face.”

“Heh, I thought you were supposed to be the sane one.”

“Everyone is fighting their own battles.” You watched the vigilante stand up and walk over to the window, as he crawled out, he looked back at you.

“I like you, Y/N/N.”

Welcome to the life of a vigilante’s therapist, you thought as you cleaned up the mess from breakfast.

 ***

It had been nearly a week before you heard from the masked man again. This time there was no breakfast, only blood.

“What the hell, Red?”

“You’re a doctor, thought you could help.”

“I guess, technically, but not that kind! Why don’t you go to a real doctor?”

“Eh, it’s just a flesh wound. Come on, Y/N/N, you can manage.” You rolled your eyes as you walked to get your first aid kit.

“If this is going to be a regular thing, you are going to need to bring me actual medical supplies because I am so not funding your stupidity.”

“Deal.”

You sat next to him and got to work, “So, why come here? Don’t you have someone who patches you up.”

“Didn’t really think about that, just wanted to talk to – someone outside the life.”

“And what ever would you want to talk about Red.”

“Hmm…what did you do today?”

You couldn’t hold back you laugh as you finished bandaging his arm. “Seriously?” A small grin spread across his face. “Alright, I woke up at a solid 10:00am and made breakfast. Then played video games until about two hours ago, when I started writing some songs.”

“Oh, I wanna hear!”

“No.”

“Buzzkill…”

“Yeah, well. You’ve already heard more than anyone and I don’t even know your name.”

You continued to talk the rest of the night, until you put on a movie and fell asleep on the couch. Though you awoke the next morning, yet again, in your own bed, this time to the smell of eggs and bacon.

“This just going to be a weekend routine then?”

“If you’re lucky.”

 ***

You started getting visits, on either Friday or Saturday nights, every week. The same old story, he wanted to talk about random every day nonsense while you patched up his latest scrapes. You would wake up to the smell of breakfast and he would leave shortly after. It had been a few months now, and it was nearing 3 am Sunday morning, yet your new vigilante friend hadn’t shown up. You began pacing in your living room.

“What if he’s dead somewhere? How would I even know? I don’t even have a damn name. Of course, I had to go make friends with a damn vigilante. I mean, I’ve never even seen his eyes. Just the red and white of that domino mask he insists on wearing…because heaven forbid I see the color of his damn eyes.” Your rant is cut short by a faint laugh coming from your window. You ran over and slapped him in the shoulder. “YOU CAN’T FUCKING DO THAT I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD.”

“Aw, you care.”

“OF COURSE I FUCKING CARE YOU IDIOT. GET IN HERE NOW.”

“Alright mom, calm down. I was put on stakeout duty as punishment.”

You glared at him, “Punishment for what? Wait…punishment from who?!”

“Uh…Batman. I may or may not have taken the Batmobile on a joyride Thursday night.”

You stifled a laugh, “You really like to piss him off don’t you.”

“What can I say, it’s a gift.”

“One he probably would like to return.”

“Yeah.” Red Hood hung his head and walked over to the kitchen, in search of hot chocolate.

“Wow, alright. Struck a chord there. Wanna tell me what’s up Red?”

“I don’t need you to be my therapist, Y/N.”

“Okay, not trying to be. I know it’s probably strange for you…but generally when people care about someone, they do like to know what’s going on in their life. Including the shitty parts. Oh, and the hot chocolate ran out about two hours ago.”

He huffed and began stalking back towards the window when you grabbed his wrist. “Uh huh, buddy. One, it is 3 in the morning, I don’t care if you are the Red freaking Hood, you aren’t going home this late. Two, you DEFINITELY aren’t going home at 3 in the morning when you are this upset.”

“I’ve left your apartment later than 3 before.”

“Yeah, well I wasn’t awake to stop you so…now I am. Sit your ass down.”

“I could easily get passed you and leave you know.” He mumbled as he stumbled over to the couch.

“Yeah yeah, big tough masked man here.” You followed him to the couch, “What color even ARE your eyes?”

“Really, Y/N/N, really?”

“Well if you won’t tell me your damn name and I have to try and describe you to the police one night when you vanish off the face of the earth…it would be nice to have accurate information.”

“Jason.” He took off the red helmet, “Jason Todd,” and then the domino mask. You couldn’t form any words, you just sat there staring at him, mouth agape. Not because you knew who this person was, after all you were not native to the city and the rest of the world tended to sleep on the craziness that was Gotham City, but because after all this time he so nonchalantly revealed his identity. You figured he would have to be dead or on his dead bed. By the time you got over the shock of the reveal you got lost in his eyes. They were the most intense steel blue eyes you had ever seen. Impossibly blue. Could this man look more perfect, what the actual fuck.

“Uhm, Y/N/N? You good.”

You shook yourself out of your own mind, “Your eyes are like impossibly blue. You had to show off the jawline, but not those? Red, you are focused on the wrong attribute.” With that Jason’s mouth turned upwards as he doubled over laughing. You rose from your spot on the couch and waved your hand as you made your way to the bedroom. “I don’t lie and I better wake up to an amazing breakfast after the heart attack you gave me tonight.”

You did and Jason spent the entire day at your apartment, he said it was to make up for the time he lost on stakeout, but you didn’t really care about the reason.

“Alright, I’m going to let you get some sleep so you can deal with the crazy people tomorrow.” He finally said while getting off the couch.

“They aren’t crazy.”

“Sure Y/N/N. Normal people go to an asylum.”

You shrugged, “But what is normal?”

“No fun, that’s for sure.” Jason made his way to the window.

“You know, you can use the door…like a normal person.”

“If people saw the Red Hood walking out of your front door, what ever would they say?”

“One, like I care what they say. Two, I guess you’ll just have to keep some boring old civilian clothes here then.”

“Only if I can bring along a toothbrush too.”

“Deal.” You got off the couch and headed towards your bedroom, when you felt his hand grab your wrist and spin you towards him.

“Good, because I finally found a reality that I don’t ever want to lose.” Jason mumbled just before his lips crashed into yours.

[bigskydreaming]

LOL I still greatly enjoy the Dick, Jason and Tim dynamic in that adopted-by-Zatanna AU. Tim’s such a little shit in it, but in a fun way.

****

“You can try all you want to come up with ways to keep this from happening, but you’ll just be wasting your time and energy,” Tim advises, still intent on his phone. Two passwords down, nice. Only….ninety more to go? Jeez. Oh god, if he’s this redundant about his cyber security, he’s gonna try and be stubborn about this, isn’t he? Ugh, how inefficient.

“Look, no matter how many plans you come up with, it doesn’t matter what you throw at him or how convoluted or well-crafted it is. At a certain point Dick’s just going to say screw it and dig his heels in, and no offense, but I’ve seen him out-stubborn demons. He once got a Duke of Hell to release a claim on Jason’s soul by committing to “I know you are but what am I” until the ageless being composed of pettiness and spite got frustrated and gave up. My brother on a mission to dole out affection is an actual force of nature. Like hurricanes. Even Jason lets Dick hug him. And Jason hates everything.”

“Die screaming,” Jason says conversationally.

“See a therapist about your Cain complex,” Tim returns, equally pleasant.

“I thought I told you boys to be on your best behavior,” Zatanna says. Either exasperated again, or just still. Hard to say.

Jason cocks an eyebrow at her quizzically before looking around the room. “Umm, we are, aren’t we? I mean, we’ve been here for at least five minutes and nothing’s on fire or broken yet. You gotta admit that’s like, a record for us.”

Zatanna sputters helplessly for a moment before collapsing onto the couch with a sigh. “The bar is too low,” she mutters. "And don't think I didn't catch that bit about a Duke of Hell having a claim on Jason's soul at some point. We will be circling back to that later, at home."

"Dude," Jason hisses, glaring at his little brother. "Spoilers!"

"Sorry," Tim says distractedly, with a distinct lack of sincerity. "In my defense, we lie about a lot of stuff and I forget to keep track of it all."

"You have an eidetic memory."

"Okay, so I forget to care about keeping track of it all," Tim amends, shrugging.

"That's just because you never get in as much trouble as me and Dick. Helps to be the baby of the family," Jason grumbles.

Tim hums softly in acknowledgment, tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth as he peers intently at his screen. "The perks are nice."

Zatanna interjects as she eyes her two younger sons, a slight edge in voice. "Exactly how much stuff am I being lied to about? Ballpark figure."

Jason glares at Tim again. "You're a goddamn menace."

"I should probably be stopped," Tim agrees.

“Nonsense!” Damian’s aggrieved voice cuts over everyone else in the room. “I am an al Ghul, and heir to the Batman. If this tournament you speak of were truly a contest of champions, I would certainly have heard of it before now.”

Dick returns his glower with his usual beaming grin. “I swear by every being of both the higher and lower planes to ever lend me power or aid. Super Mario Kart is a test of manual dexterity, hand-eye coordination and reflex agility. Any true warrior should be more than capable of defeating all competitors at it.”

Damian stays trained on his face for a good minute, searching it for any hint of deception. Finally he turns and sweeps his imperious gaze around the room, jumping back and forth between his father to Jason and Tim, though the latter is still absorbed tracking to crack the thirty-sixth password to the Batcomputer. “Is this true?”

“Technically yes,” Jason says with the smirk to end all smirks. Sometimes his older brother is a total toolbag, but sometimes it really is like watching a master at work. How to Lie Without Telling a Single Lie by Dick Grayson-Zatara.

Damian harrumphs like the eighty seven year old that he is at heart, but with a secondary affirmation and no one speaking up to offer a counter-claim, his pride seems to allow him no alternative to accepting Dick’s challenge.

“Very well,” he says grudgingly. “I will engage you in this competition of supers and carts. But when I inevitably prove victorious, as consequence for your failure you and your babbling are to be banished from my father’s estate, never to return.”

“K!” Dick grins. “But if I win, you have to initiate three hugs a day for a solid week straight, at which point you may challenge me to a rematch and reclaim your honor.”

“Preposterous! One hug a day. No more.”

“One hug a day, but after two weeks I can challenge you to a rematch at my home instead.”

“I shudder to think what you might consider an acceptable abode. No, if I must vanquish you twice before you realize the folly of challenging an al Ghul, you shall return here only for the purposes of engaging in this ‘rematch’, and only after two months have passed, so that you may reflect on the futility of such.”

“One month, final offer.”

“Tt. Your terms are acceptable,” Damian decides at last. Dick’s already brilliant smile grows impossibly more blinding, as it is wont to do. The whole defiance of physics thing he does so well. Unprepared for it, the startled boy blinks, corners of his mouth twitching ever so slightly upwards before he regains his normal stern countenance. “Now lead me to these carts at once. I wish to see you defeated before supper, so I do not have to suffer your presence through my meal.”