#for some reason in my time of immense distress

[nonbinarycollector]

(bleeding out) deltarune save me.... deltarune by toby fox....... save me deltarune

[itzy-bitsy-spidey]

The moment they realized they were in love.

Characters: Monkey D. Luffy, Roronora Zoro, Sanji x gn! Reader.

Cw: English is not my first language, this is mostly fluff.

Notes: I thought I had deleted this, but I had simply published it on accident! Hope you all enjoy it and if you see grammar mistakes don't feel bad about telling me!

Luffy

For all his silliness Luffy had always been emotionally smart, he could easily recognize when people were in distress or angry (or at least, most of the time) but it took him quite some time to figure out he had a crush.

When he had first met you it had been a pretty average experience for him, at least as average as meeting the self-proclaimed future king of the pirates could go. By the end of the same day you were already on the Going Merry bonding with those who would quickly become your new family.

Talking with Luffy came easily to you, it was like smooth sailing, but for some reason, over time, Luffy started to feel different during your chats. He started to notice little things that he would usually pass over, like the way your voice got more high pitched when you talked about things you were passionate about and how during that same time you would move your hands around a lot to emphasize what you were saying.

Your hands.

His skin had always been rubbery since he ate the gum gum fruit, but yours looked so smooth and malleable, as if he could just smash his face into you and stay there waiting for your skin to mold around him. And talking about smashing his face into things he was very curious about smashing his face against yours, he had seen Sanji try to do it at the last island they had been at (and failed, the woman had given him a smack with her purse before walking away), and had since thought about it.

But those were all things you would want to do with your friends, right? The moment it really had hit him was one night right before dinner. He was sitting on his usual spot at the front of the ship when he heard his name being called behind him.

He turned around and there was you, standing with a plate on your hand and smiling, oh so warmly, at him. The setting sun made your skin shine in golden light and he thought to himself that if he were to drown and you were a fish in the sea he would follow your glow to the surface. A smile slowly spread itself in his face, all his feelings clicking together inside his brain, and before you could react you felt a pair pf arms wrapped around you and a body slamming against you with immense strength, knocking the plate of food right off your hands.

But for once Luffy couldn't be bothered about the food, you were in his arms.

Zoro

There had been something bothering you for quite a while about the swordsman of the straw hats crew, his indifference.

At first you had thought he was just shy, but the way he would fight with Sanji and scream at everybody all the time had proved you wrong. Then you had thought he hated you for no apparent reason, but once again, if he did indeed hate you he would most likely fight with you the way he did with the cook. So the final diagnosis was the simplest one: he was just indifferent about your presence on the ship.

And that bothered you.

Call it pride or daddy issues, but the feeling that you had to prove to him that you were not just some sort of side character was just too strong. So you did what seemed like the smartest choice, tried to become his friend.

Zoro had been slightly bothered by your advances at first since they included chatting with him (which stopped him from taking his daily nine-hour nap) or getting his attention in the middle of his workout.

The change was almost imperceptible at first. It started with him noticing your presence, everytime he heard your steps approaching him or felt your warm hand on his shoulder using him as a mean of sitting down without falling. Slowly but surely noticing turned into expecting, expecting your afternoon visits and going as far as getting disappointed if you didn't showed up; expecting for you to show up while he was training so that he could show off his skills only to hear you praise him for his strength.

Zoro knew he was falling for you, but despite how much he told himself that having a crush would be useless, and only keep him from achieving his goals, he couldn't help but hope you would be there every day to talk to him even when he never gave you long answers.

The day he realized that there was no turning back you had fallen asleep on his shoulder, he had only noticed after a while when you didn't talk his ear off (he loved hearing you and everything you had to tell him), he tried to sleep, but, when he closed his eyes, all he could focus on was your soft breathing, the way it caressed the skin of his neck, and the heat emanating from your face and seeping onto his body. He should had been training, but maybe staying there a little longer wouldn't hurt.

Especially when he could hear the way both your heart beats started to sync.

Sanji

The moment he fell in love with you? What do you mean? He was always in love with you, even before you two met!

But talking seriously, Sanji is widely known for falling in love easily so it really comes to no surprise that he fell for you when you first joined the crew (especially if you were a woman).

For all his swooning and doting Sanji had alway thought of himself as a composed person, but his whole idea fell apart the moment you entered the kitchen. There had been something about you that he couldn't quite place, something that made him feel as though the entire universe had stopped and that everything that had happened in his life up until that moment had been with the sole intention of him meeting you. Even before you said a word to him, while luffy was still excitedly presenting you to everyone, your eyes had found his and he had felt his soul melt inside of him.

He had walked up to you and held your hands while he fell to his knees, he told you he loved you without remedy and that breathing without your presence felt like inhaling thorns but that he would gladly do it if it meant he would see your face eventually.

You had smiled at him, a smile that could bring the sun itself to shame from how bright it was, and then, then...

Then Nami hit him im the head and told him to leave you alone.

So yeah, Sanji had known he would love you from the moment he met you. But it was the small things, the everyday things, like sitting with him while he washed the dishes, or talking between meals and telling him off for smoking, that cemented the idea that, maybe, the universe had been written only so that you two coul meet.

✶✧✶✧✶✧✶✧

Taglist: @ellelowthere

[redvexillum]

PSA: RACISM, BIGOTRY, ENTITLEMENT IN HAZBIN HOTEL FANDOM

CONTENT WARNING: Inflammatory hate speech, White hate, political baiting, gaslighting, racism, death threats

The messages I’ve received and am addressing below contain upsetting and harmful language that has no place in any community. If these topics are distressing to you, please prioritize your well-being and feel free to stop reading here. Thank you for taking care of yourself.

I never imagined I would find myself addressing this, but here we are. This post is regarding my recent story, Stay With Me, which has stirred up unexpected controversy due to my decision to imply the reader’s race as white. I want to clarify that this choice was made purely for plot purposes.

The story is set in 1920s Louisiana, a time and place where racial and class dynamics were deeply significant. This backdrop was essential to the narrative’s themes of tension and forbidden love, as it explores the societal barriers that would have made a relationship between Alastor and the reader virtually impossible. The decision to depict the reader as an upper-class white individual was not arbitrary—it was intentional, aimed at heightening the drama and emotional weight of their story.

I deeply value the Hazbin Hotel fandom and the x-reader community. Writing for this space has brought me immense joy, and I’ve formed wonderful connections with both readers and fellow writers. That’s why receiving such hateful and inflammatory messages has been incredibly disheartening. The accusations of racism, the vitriol, and the twisting of my creative choices into something they were never meant to be—this has shaken me more than I can express.

To the anonymous senders of these messages: I want to make it clear that my work comes from a place of love and passion. My intention has always been to tell compelling stories that explore complex emotions, societal norms, and the human condition—stories that resonate with readers on a deeper level. To reduce my work to a political agenda or an act of prejudice is deeply hurtful and entirely unfounded.

I want to echo sentiments shared by Kit (please check out her explanation here), another writer in the fandom, who also explored the racial and class dynamics between characters. Like them, I am fascinated by the tension and drama that arise from star-crossed love stories, particularly when societal laws and prejudices forbid such relationships. Writing the reader as white in this context wasn’t about excluding or favoring anyone—it was about creating an authentic narrative rooted in the realities of the era.

For those questioning why I made this choice, I ask: if you can suspend disbelief to fall in love with a cannibalistic, asexual deer demon, why is the reader’s race—chosen for specific plot reasons—the line you cannot cross? My goal as a writer is to craft stories that make sense within their own context. The entitlement to demand otherwise, or to impose personal prejudices onto my work, is unfair and unwarranted.

I hate that I’ve had to turn off anonymous asks. Some of the most heartfelt and hilarious messages I’ve received have come from anonymous users, and losing that connection with my readers pains me. But unfortunately, the actions of a loud, hateful minority have left me with no choice. I will not entertain further discourse on this matter after this post.

To those who have supported me, who have read my stories and shared kind words: thank you. Your encouragement is what keeps me going. Writing for this fandom has been a labor of love, and I pour my heart and soul into every piece I create—for free, might I add. It’s devastating to feel that love overshadowed by hostility.

I won’t let this stop me from creating, but I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t made me question my place here. To anyone who feels entitled to tear down what others create out of hatred or spite: I hope you take a moment to reflect on the harm your words can cause.

To my true supporters: I appreciate you more than words can express. Your kindness reminds me why I love writing in the first place. Thank you for standing by me.

[tadc-harlequin-au]

RagaPom fan kid when🥺?

Jk but I ADORE your art so much i might as well be called a believer of it 🙇‍♀️

Harlequin!Jesterdoll fankid - Anya!

I gotchu homie I should probably also clarify that the fankids aren't canon-

This is Anya, or Aanya Belle. She is Pomni and Ragatha's child, and is the second child puppet to ever grace the world. Quite possibly the most emotional one too, earning her the title "Little Sensitive Poppet". She's sweet and empathetic like Ragatha, but she doesn't have a temper. She instead inherited her harlequin mom's intense emotional reaction, but for other emotions. Her classification is a Mannequin.

She gets scared quite easily and ends up crying for hours, which made Jax give up a teddy bear he had been keeping near and dear to him. Aanya has been never seen without the teddy bear ever since.

Yes, to everyone's surprise, Jax is good with kids.

She has the largest sense of empathy out of anyone, a trait clearly inherited from Ragatha. So much so to the point that she's willing to abandon her "safety spot" (which is any furniture she can hide behind) and comfort you with her teddy bear if she so much as senses you're upset.

Her relationship with her half-brother was a little rocky at the start; Cade was overexcited over the idea of a new playmate (that wasn't Bubble) and kept wanting to bite her fingers off, and so had to be kept in his favorite box to calm him down, and make him get used to his new half-sister's presence. Soon enough, he learned to get along, and eventually, their sibling bond strengthened.

Cade would hug Anya if he notices that she's distressed (which is something that my irl baby brother does and I used it as inspo here) and would not hesitate to step in the big brother role to protect her if there's a threat.

He also attends her miniature tea parties, although for some reason he likes to stay in his box when the tea party commences. He never touches the teddy bear either, and even seems to want to avoid to touch it. Pomni thinks it's because he doesn't wanna end up ruining it.

When Cade turned six months, Ragatha started avoiding Caine, which made the puppetmaster confused. There were no more invites to tea parties, no more friendly talks, and no longer did Ragatha ask Caine if he had another vinyl she could listen to. All the more, Pomni looked extremely guilty everytime they would talk, and looked like she really wanted to tell Caine something.

Caine didn't prod at the girls' relationship, since he knows it's not exactly his concern/nor is it his business. But when one day that Pomni came rushing in to his office for help because Ragatha collapsed in pain, Caine wasted no time rushing to her aid.

Once all symptoms were described to him, he immediately managed to connect the dots that Ragatha's die was also housing two souls, and that it went on for so long, it was already starting to kill her off FOR GOOD. When the puppetmaster asked why she had kept it a secret, Ragatha admitted that she felt guilty; Cade was already in this world and that she had no right to have a child with Pomni, yet here it was.

Caine was immensely disappointed, but not because of the little soul's existence. Instead, he was upset that Ragatha would rather risk her very own life for something so non-trivial, and that the doll was freaking out over nothing. After an intense and dangerous procedure since the incomplete soul's grip onto Ragatha was stronger than Cade's was, Caine managed to extract and transfer the soul, but Ragatha remained unconscious for three moons because of the exertion it took.

He told Pomni to keep the die for now, and wait until Ragatha wakes up, so they can both decide whether they want to keep the little one or not. Pomni, guilt-ridden, questions why he's remained calm, and not exploded over the fact that she and Ragatha created a new existence without his permission, and Caine simply replies "Whoever told you that you both needed my blessing for it, needs their heads bashed in"

Eventually, Ragatha wakes up and apologizes to Caine for giving him so much trouble. The puppetmaster is quick to comfort the mannequin, and that he's relieved that Ragatha survived. He then reassures both Puppets that they didn't have to keep secrets like this from him out of shame, since their polyamory relationship was consensual from both parties in the first place. After a reconciliation, Caine asked the question: Will they keep the soul, or not?

They chose to keep it. And in only a few months thanks to Caine's prior knowledge, Anya was officially welcomed into the world.

[meepmrop]

Hi guys!! Just a little PSA I feel the need to say, especially given how many people I see self diagnose with autism or ADHD (this post may be continuously updated, so please see the original post if you're seeing a reblog of this)

Please do your research. I'm serious. The media has downplayed both of these disorders to simply autism being passionate about something and ADHD as having a low attention span or being insanely hyper

These are just common traits. You can have traits of a disorder without actually having it. I repeat, you can have traits of something without actually having it.

All forms of neurodivergency (yes, autism/adhd aren't the only ones. Get it through your damn head.) are disabilities. It needs to disable you from being a fully functional human being. I understand there's people with low support needs, but this is directed towards the people who claim to have medium/high support needs.

A special interest isn't just something you're super passionate about, it's a coping mechanism that can take over your life. I hate to admit that I have spent hundreds of dollars on useless things that have made me think of any of my special interests.

Hyperfixations are the same where they take over your entire thought process. For many, their hyperfixes come to mind even in situations it shouldn't. Some people have said that it happens during tests, essays, funerals even. I've had trouble sleeping often because of my own hyperfixations.

If you're 16 or older, I highly recommend that you take the RAADS-R test since it's widely accepted by many psychologists world wide. If you're under 16, I recommend you still take it and then take it again when you're 16 to see if you get the same score. I also highly recommend talking to people who are diagnosed and listing to them your symptoms. I have 3 friends who have been diagnosed tell me that I cover more than enough symptoms to qualify for a diagnosis.

Addition to this (because i got a bit of feedback): No online test will be completely reliable. I highly recommend keeping all of your symptoms somewhere to show a psychiatrist. The main reason I recommend the RAADS-R test is because you can download a PDF that shows not only your score but also your answer to all 80 questions. Psychiatrists are a lot more likely to believe you if you can give a list of your symptoms and how long they've been occurring. I keep a notebook for every time I show an autistic trait (since I struggle most with social situations as an autist, many of mine are moments where I can't tell apart the tone in what people say and I take things way too literally...)

Also, if you mask or used to mask, jotting down your experience with masking is important. Keeping a journal of how things affected you when masking, writing down how things affected you when you started to unmask. I started to mask (quite horribly...) when I was 13 and had a bunch of social norms shoved on me. Due to heavy burnout, I'm 17 now and don't mask anymore because I can't take it any longer. Since unmasking, I've noticed how much my autistic traits have hightened. It's like I've been bottling everything up for so long, and the river doesn't stop flowing.

Also, another thing to add on top of all of that, OCD isn't the same as being super neat either. Compulsive disorders like OCD are consuming. As someone with a compulsive disorder, in my experience, basically the thought does not leave your mind until you act out the thought. It's like having a huge pile of intrusive thoughts that only get bigger the longer you hold them back. It causes immense distress that will constantly bother you until something is done about it.

I also feel the need to point out some ableist language that has somehow become normalized.

1) using "narcissist" to describe someone who's egotistical and selfish. Also, the term "narc abuse" to describe a person with NPD traits who are abusive. Go talk to people with NPD. Go to blogs that educate on NPD. Seriously. You will find that NPD isn't just appearing selfish and egotistical. Sometimes it's the complete opposite.

My partner has NPD, and they actually get their validation often from being nice. (this post they reblogged can help clarify a bit more)

NPD (or any disorder for that matter), aren't inheritly abusive. I had to snap at one of my friends for calling her brother a narcissist when he's just a little asshole.

2) the terms "sociopath" and "psychopath". These terms have typically been used against people with ASPD/ASPD traits. My partner also has ASPD and reclaimed the term "sociopath".

3) "yandere". There are many mixed feelings about this term in the BPD community, ranging from people saying they have no issue with it, some considering it a slur (key word: consider. It's not an actual slur, but some people consider it one. I've had some asshole harass me for saying this, and I don't want any more drama about it.) because it romanticizes the trait in BPD and OLD (Obsessive Love Disorder) of having unhealthy relationships, some saying the term gives them comfort because it describes their symptoms as someone with BPD (which would be like reclaiming the term).

I personally fall under the group of people who consider it a slur, and I will be blocking people who use the term who aren't reclaiming it for their personal selves. I am heavily uncomfortable with the term and ask that anyone who uses the term on any character or person (unless it's someone with bpd headcannoning a character with bpd) a big fat serious DNI.

4) "psychotic", "delusional"/"delulu", and "schizo". I hate that I feel the need to say this, but schizophrenia and psychosis are serious mental disorders. Can we stop using fucking mental disorders as insults or as some quirky label. I experience psychosis, and it has ruined my life. As a hellenic polytheist, I often struggle to tell the difference between psychosis or one of my deities talking to me. As a DID system, I sometimes struggle to tell the difference between psychosis and an alter talking to me. As an enjoyer of EPIC: The Musical, psychosis makes it hard to tell if we have a new fictive, if it's psychosis, or a deity.

I'm going to add the stuff said in this reblog since I find it really important:

Stop with lobotomy jokes people. It's a tragic case of medical abuse, and was used many many times on vulnerable people (they'd lobotomize psychotic/schizophrenic people to make them more docile and easier to handle. It's horrific. If they didn't like what a woman was doing, they'd label her psychotic and do it to her too.) The jokes I see are all so tasteless and almost feel mocking to me about it. You didn't go through lobotomies, why are you making it so quirky and downplaying how horrible it is? Schizophrenic and psychotic people (among others but I'm focusing on the group I'm apart of) are still not being taken seriously and left in the dust even after disability activism is on the rise. I don't understand why people will be so understanding with some but then just completely turn off that empathy whenever someone has psychosis. Stop joking about lobotomies, they're not even funny and your sanism is showing.

Taking a bit of another system's post (link) for this lengthy ass post (but I still find it really important to add)

plus, it seems to be entirely ignoring the fact that you can have a symptom of a disorder without having the disorder / being disordered... lets use ADHD as an example here since its the first thing to come to mind LOL, someone can have a short attention span or be distracted easily without inherently having ADHD. it would depend on the presence of other symptoms as well as degree of life impairment. this logic also applies to any other disorder ever... so why dont we apply the same logic to DID / OSDD-1?

I completely agree with this, and it's a big reason why I support endogenic systems (like in the linked post, I'm using endogenic as an umbrella term). The brain is complex. It's as simple as that. So what if a system or alter formed from some other silly way? Who are you to dictate how somebody's brain works? Even before we found out our system was more than just traumagenic, we still got fakeclaimed over the dumbest shit ever and well... for a 13 year old body and newly discovered system, that fakeclaiming was actually really harmful and worsened our trauma. Because of that, we'll always support all systems under the endogenic umbrella or any system that's been deemed "different than others". We don't need to understand how your system works to know that fakeclaiming is harmful and wouldn't wish it on anybody else.

If anyone would like to pitch in, I highly encourage it. I would also appreciate it if anyone could give us some blogs to tag that help educate people on disorders that are downplayed or aren't talked about enough. Some YouTube channels that are informative will be appreciated, too!!

I'm gonna tag my partner's blog ( @zerasocial )if anyone wants to ask them about their experience with ASPD or NPD.

I'd prefer no discourse in any of the notes of this post. If you feel the need to correct me on anything, you're free to DM me and I'll fix anything if needed.

[linaslore]

s.s. | the ripper's confession (one-shot)

a/n: well, i'm back in my tvd era and since I'm team stefan i came up with this. it's my first time writing smut, so please don't judge.

warnings: MINORS, DNI. mentions of blood, death, ripper!stefan, language, smut with some plot, dirty talking, mutual masturbation., piv. english is not my first language. some stuff may not be accurate, so please don't mind if I'm not faithful to the shows storyline. not truly proof-read.

summary: you are determined to find stefan after klaus forced him to run away, but one night, you receive a mysterious visit.

stefan salvatore x afab!reader.

please don't copy or translate my work!

It’s been about a month since Klaus convinced, well, blackmailed Stefan to travel with him. The hybrid forced him to turn off his humanity to “unlock his full potential” in exchange for his blood to cure Damon from a werewolf bite. And of course, Stefan accepted that deal because he would do anything for his big brother, despite all the arguments and disagreements they had over the last century. In the end, they loved each other immensely. 

So, the younger Salvatore has been M.I.A since then. Elena and Damon weren’t the only ones who were desperately trying to locate him. You were also dead set on finding him. He had helped you learn the ropes of being a vampire. 

Yeah, that’s right, you were also part of “blood lust club”, as Damon has often nicknamed your kind. Needless to say, you aren’t a vampire on your own volition. And worst of all, the way it happened was kinda stupid; or at least the first part. 

Last year, Alaric was training Jeremy, Matt, Elena and yourself on how to fight vampires with different weapons. Stefan and Damon were also there because they were going to help with actual vampire combat. Well, let’s be honest, Damon was there just to make fun of ‘baby Gilbert’ and ‘Bus boy’. But he couldn’t deny he didn’t enjoy “fighting” against Elena as he was really close to her and got to touch her body.

You were no better than him though. You focused more on casually staring at Stefan, who was wearing his typical white tank top that accentuated the muscles on his arms and back, than on the training itself. Anyways, Matt and Jeremy were practising shooting arrows at Stefan and even though they couldn’t hurt him, they weren’t doing it sooo bad – until Matt made a wrong movement and his arrow landed on your stomach. Everything happened so fast that not even the supernatural creatures were able to prevent it. 

Stefan didn’t hesitate for a second to give you his blood to heal you after removing the arrow from your body. Matt was truly sorry and you told him it was okay, that it was an accident but you weren’t perfect and held a small internal grudge against him. If you ever had the chance to train fighting only with him you would accidentally kick him in the groin.

However, you would have forgiven him more easily if that night had not been a full moon and Tyler had not freed himself from the Lockwoods' cellar and had not attacked you in the middle of the woods. Caroline, who was helping him with his werewolf problems, tried to heal you with her blood but it was too late, you were already dead. 

Hence, the combination of those two unfortunate events had resulted in you becoming a vampire. Stefan helped you to cope with your new condition. You honestly didn’t know what you would have done without him. And for this reason, you truly didn’t care if you had to move heaven and earth to save him from Klaus, or mostly, from himself, since he’s a ripper without his emotions and whenever he had come down from that high, he had serious symptoms of guilt and distress. You wanted to be there for him the same way he had been there for you.

One Friday evening, you were about to go out to meet with another witch to help you do a locator spell. Of course Bonnie was also helping to find Stefan, but she was dealing with getting her mom back after years of abandonment, so you didn’t want to bother her more than necessary. And besides, you needed the strongest witch you could find nearby Mystic Falls. You knew that Bonnie was powerful and had a lot of potential, but she was a relatively new witch. Whenever she had tried to do the locator spell, she had no results. Klaus somehow made Stefan vanish into thin air. 

So, as you were putting all the things you needed in your bag, someone knocked at your door. Who could it be? You had talked to Elena two hours ago and although you didn’t tell her specifically what you were going to do, you told her that you were going out for more clues of Stefan and that you would call her if you found something promising. 

You got closer to your door as you tried to listen with your vampire hearing to get anything from the person outside your apartment, but you stood there with nothing. You took a deep breath and opened the door, mentally preparing to attack. Time seemed to stop once you realized who it was.

“Stefan?”

You were too perplexed to say anything else. After all the time spent looking for him, he was there, at your front door. He was wearing a red plaid flannel and a pair of black trousers. He didn’t look injured or anything but something didn’t seem right. He didn’t look like the Stefan you knew. His eyes were different. The way he was looking at you was different. He may still have his humanity off. You needed to be careful.

“What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?”, he said as got closer to you. Your instincts made you give one step back but this didn’t stop him from walking towards you every time you got away from him. He closed the door once you were both inside. You had millions of questions for him, but you only managed to get one out.

“Did you escape from Klaus?”, you hoped his answer was affirmative.

“Not really, he’s too busy bickering with his siblings and putting a dagger in their chests if they say the wrong thing. He won’t mind if I'm gone", you were utterly confused. "So I thought I could pay you a visit and entertain myself with you”. 

When your back hit one of the walls of your apartment, he placed a hand on your cheek, slowly caressing it. However, there wasn’t love or anything similar in his eyes. All you could see was lust.

“What do you mean?”, you asked him, gathering the strength from God knows where. You were too close to him. One small movement and your lips could touch his.

“I came here to do something I should have done a long time ago”, he replied, his voice getting deeper and darker as the conversation continued. His eyes were fixed on yours, but he stole glances at your lips to get his message across.

“But, what about Elena?”, he rolled his eyes at your question and took his hand away from your cheek. He placed it on the wall beside your head.

There were a thousand things you could have said to him or certainly you could have managed all this situation a lot better, but the almost lack of space between you two didn’t allow you to think straight. In fact, you could not think. At all.

“I know I should care about Elena, she’s my girlfriend, after all, but I really don’t. And besides, do you think I’m not aware of how attracted she’s to Damon now? It seems being away from her gave her a free way to catch feelings for him”. He moved his face to whisper in your right ear. "And you don’t have to pretend with me”, he paused and your heart skipped a beat. “I know you don’t like her." He moved his face back to the original place. His lips barely separated from yours. "Having my humanity off has made me honest with myself. I’ve always thought you were really hot, but because of her, I pushed that thought to the back of my mind. But I cannot deny that sometimes when I see you, I cannot stop thinking about all the things I’d do to you."

That was it.

You lost whatever small ounce of self-control you had. You also have always thought Stefan was attractive but, of course, you didn’t make any move because of Elena. You weren’t the best of friends but she had knew him first and, besides, you'd like to think you had some sense of girl code in you. However, the closer Stefan and you had become as he helped you be a good vampire, the more difficult this task became. Your feelings for him grew stronger each day.

Moreover, a memory came up into your brain to help you justify what you were about to do. Damon, Elena, Jeremy and you had gone on a trip to find out if some clues about Stefan’s location were true. You stayed one night in a motel; the girls in one room and the boys in another. You couldn’t sleep at all because of the anxiety and disappointment over not finding him. So you heard Elena when she got up from her bed and exited your room. At first you didn’t pay much attention to her but then you started hearing some whispering. You used your vamp hearing and discovered she was talking to Damon. Then, they stopped talking and started kissing. You were about to get up and interrupt their wrongdoings but you decided against it because Damon would snap your neck and leave you to your luck far away from there.

“So, Stefan, what’s stopping you now?”, you retorted as he made you come back to reality by kissing your neck.

He gave you a devilish grin and proceeded to attack your lips without mercy for a while. Then, he placed his larger hands on your butt, cueing you to jump and wrap your legs around his waist. You happily did so and continued to kiss him as if it was the last thing you’d do on this planet.

You couldn’t really believe that this was really happening. You were making out with Stefan Salvatore. Well, a humanity-less version of him. You knew this was not ideal, but you decided you’ll deal with the afterthoughts and consequences tomorrow. Without breaking the kiss, he moved you both to the couch and sat on it. You started messing his hair with your hands while you positioned yourself more comfortably to straddle him.

However, despite the fact he kissed you stupid, one question popped into your head and you wouldn’t be able to stop overthinking if you didn’t ask him, so you told him to stop.

“I know you want this more than I do. As a matter of fact, I can feel it”, directing his eyes to his lap, where you were seated. You were wearing a skirt and your wetness has trespassed onto his pants. “Why did you stop?”, he started kissing and slightly biting your neck.

“Are you going to regret this when you turn your humanity back on?” You did not have your own humanity off, so that question came out of your mouth filled with anxiety and a bit of pain. He stopped his work on your neck and looked deeply into your eyes.

“Not at all. Trust me, I’m just doing what humanity-on-Stefan would have liked to do but he was too much of a coward to dare”, he reassured you and you let out a shy smile. “Now, shall we go back to our hot makeout session?”

You found it somewhat sweet that no humanity Stefan asked you if you could continue what you were doing instead of simply kissing you again. It almost felt like he was taking care of you. Maybe the Stefan you knew was not too buried inside of the ripper.

As an answer, you kissed the corner of his lips and then he placed one of his hands on the back of your neck to direct your lips to his and the other on your thigh. You couldn’t take it anymore, you need him in all the possible ways.

“Stefan, please”, you whispered against his lips, dragging the final “e” a bit.

“Please what?”

“You know…”

“Mh, no, I don’t… Tell me what you want.”

You broke the kiss and looked at him once again. You were just discovering he liked being begged. He placed both of his hands on either side of your waist and raised his eyebrows.

“Please fuck me”

“Your wish is my command, princess”.

You didn’t have much time to process the way he called you because he started trailing a path of kisses from the corner of your lips to both of your breasts. In the meantime, you started unbuttoning his shirt.

“You’re so beautiful”, he started talking in between said kisses. “I can’t believe how long I took to have you like this”.

You moved to the waistband of his pants and removed his belt while he used one of his hands to put your panties to the side and massage your clit with slow but constant circles. You put your face on the crook of his neck to shut your moans. You didn’t want your neighbours to find out you were having sex but Stefan grabbed your loose hair with his hand and pulled your head back so he could look at you.

“No, no, no. I want to hear the pretty sounds you make, princess”, he demanded as he continued playing with your clit. His movements became quicker.

The way he said that fucking pet name again could just instantly make you cum. But he didn’t have to know that, so you lifted your body so you could lower his jeans enough to have access to his cock. You slid your hand inside his boxers and started stroking his dick slowly. You guessed he was well-equipped because you had stolen glances at him while he was wearing sweatpants and they made his groin more noticeable than jeans. Yet, you never imagined how gifted he was.

The groans he was letting out due to your actions were doing it for you too. You didn’t know that you could get more turned on than you already were at this point. 

“You’re taking care of me so well, Y/N”.

“Stefan, please, don’t stop”.

You were very close to finding your release and you could tell he was pretty close too. It seems he was reading your mind so he inserted one of his fingers inside your cunt over and over, while his thumb kept caressing your clit. You moved to work on his neck. You grazed your fangs along it, without actually biting him, while you kept your handjob.

“You’re about to cum, right, baby?”, he managed to say in between moans and sighs. He added one more finger.

You nodded as you could. All of this was too much for you. Not only are you seconds away from reaching your climax, but also because it was him provoking it. And on top of that, he called you baby. Probably it was an empty word for him, but for your sake, you’re going to pretend he actually means it.

And just like that, both of you came. Your orgasm hit you like a trainwreck. You have had sex before, but none of the other boys have made you feel like this. And he only used his fingers. You pressed your forehead against his as you came down from the high and smiled at him. And he gave you one of his. You hadn’t realized how much you missed his beautiful smile until he smiled at you.

You started moving in order to stand up from his lap but he immediately put his hands on your waist to stop you. And, of course he did because he was so much stronger than you.

“Where are you going? For your information, I’m not done with you”, he smirked again and your brain almost exploded at how hot he is.

“I just wanted to move this to the bedroom”, you answered using a really innocent voice and looking away because honestly you were feeling kinda embarrassed. You’ve never been this blunt with anybody.

“Oh, who would have thought?”, he remarked as he got up from the couch, still holding you with his arms. You wrapped your legs around his waist again. “You were always so shy, so introverted, so obedient”, he attacked your neck with wet kisses again as he moved to your bedroom. If you were being honest, you were a bit disappointed that he couldn’t leave hickeys on your skin. They would stay for a couple of seconds but then disappear due to your supernatural healing abilities. You wanted him to leave some kind of mark on you.

“Who would have thought you would be this dirty?” he continued as both of you fell on your bed. He stayed on top of you this time. While making eye contact with you for the millionth time, he took off your skirt and panties in two swift movements. You finished removing his shirt and kept lowering his pants together with his underwear to his ankles. He did the rest and you took off your t-shirt. He smirked when he realized you weren’t wearing a bra. Now that you were both fully naked, his fingers touched teasingly your cunt again.

“I can believe how wet you still are after you came on my fingers. Is this all because of me?”. You nodded but he raised an eyebrow. He wanted you to use your words.

“Yes, Stefan. I’m a mess because of you”.

“Thank you, princess. I’d better reward you for making me feel so flattered.”

He grabbed his dick and started teasing your entrance. You looked at him to plead him to fuck you for once and for all. You loved the way he fingered you, but you needed more. You needed all of him. He stopped playing around with you and slammed his cock inside of you. He didn’t even give you time to adjust to his length and girth and he started rocking in and out of you roughly. You didn’t care, at all. You were having the time of your life.

As a reflex, you bit your inferior lip to shut your moans. He gave you a disappointed look.

“Remember what I said before, baby. I want to hear you”, he said as he pounded slowly but also deeply into your hole. “In fact, I want every single person and creature in this damn town to hear you. I want them to know who’s making you feel this good”.

You obeyed his request as you moaned without any restrictions. To hell with everyone and everything, you know you won’t regret all this, ever. Even if Stefan doesn’t give you the time of the day anymore after tonight.

He kept fucking you so good that you were ashamedly close to your second orgasm. You were constantly moaning his name quite loudly and rolling your eyes.

“You’re such a good girl. You’re making me feel amazing”, Stefan said while letting out heavy sighs.

Your vision started getting blurry and you couldn’t hear very well anymore. You were truly overwhelmed with pleasure. Stefan was going to be the real death of you. 

“I know you’re close, princess. Give me one more, please. Be my good girl”

You couldn’t take it anymore and you felt like your whole body was going to explode. Him calling you his good girl was the cherry on top of the cake. This second climax was just as intense as the first one, maybe even more. You no longer cared about hickeys anymore. He had surely ruined you for others.

He came shortly after you, letting out a sound similar to a growl and collapsed beside you on the bed. You turned your body to the side in order to face him. You couldn’t stop looking at him, at how beautiful he was. You saw something flickering through his eyes, but couldn't pinpoint what. Maybe some of his emotions were getting back. You were secretly hoping you would be the one that brought him back.

You also were aware of how heavily you two were breathing. For a second, you forgot you were technically dead. You let out a laugh as you put your bed covers over your two bodies.

“What’s funny?”

“Nothing… it’s just before you came to my apartment, I was about to go out to meet a witch.” You continued to smile but his eyebrows frowned, still not understanding. “She was going to help me make a locator spell to find you.” He finally chuckled at the irony.

You couldn’t contain yourself and placed a hand on his cheek and got closer to kiss him deeply. He kissed you back with the same intensity and put his arm around your waist. You wanted to let him know what he meant to you; how much you liked him. And he seemed to get the message because you felt him tense up.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. But I have to go…” he said, breaking the kiss.

“No, don’t. Please, can you stay?”, you looked at him, begging him with your puppy face to get him to do what you wanted.

“OK, just a while” He turned you around so he could spoon you from behind and kept you wrapped under his arms. His legs were also tangled with yours. “Until you fall asleep”.

“Thanks”

That’s all you have managed to say. It was quite difficult for you to fall asleep. All the things you did previously were  still fresh in your mind. Another question popped into your head. You prayed he hadn’t fallen asleep, but given that his breathing was still a bit irregular, you believed he had not.

“Stefan?”, you called his name quietly, afraid of speaking too loudly, in case all this had been a dream and you were about to wake up. 

“Yeah, I’m here”, you felt him put his face on the space between your neck and your shoulder.

“When are you coming back to us?”, you made a small pause. “To me?”

“Really soon, princess. I just need to find my window to finally get away from Klaus.”

You felt how he held you a bit tighter than before, as if he also thought this was just a dream and that you were going to disappear at any minute. Your body started to relax under his embrace. Finally, your mind drifted to a world in which you can stay like this forever. Away from all the bad things that happened around you two. Away to a world in which Stefan was yours and you were his. In this life, though, you were.

“I love you”, you blurted out almost inaudibly, without really processing what came out of your mouth due to your sleepiness, but Stefan caught it. 

He didn’t know what to say, his humanity was coming back, bit by bit. His thoughts were all over the place. He had to fight and conquer all his demons in order to defeat Klaus and make his way back to his home, and, to you. 

He also had to solve the ‘Elena situation’. He loved her, but he noticed how both of them drifted away from each other. Their relationship was not the same after she started to let Damon in. Of course, she wasn’t the only one to blame. He also had let you into his heart and he couldn’t help but notice how exciting the idea of starting a story with you was.

He later noticed that you fell profoundly asleep. Your breathing was calm and steady. He started slowly untangling himself from your body, trying not to wake you. He didn’t want to leave you like this, but he was afraid that Klaus, or his minions, would find where he went and harm you in any way. So, he had no other choice than parting now that hopefully you wouldn’t notice. Before exiting your room, and apartment, he gave you a light kiss on your forehead. As a promise that he’d be back soon, as he had said to you.

At least now he knew he had a reason to come back to Mystic Falls. He had you. And he knew you’d wait for him, no matter how long or what it takes. His princess would be there.

the end!

well, i hope you'd enjoyed this. or that at least the smut part wasn't cringey. i'd love to read some feedback. thank you for reading!

[yesvic13]

Losing the gamble pt.2

Gi-Hun x F!reader angst

S1 in the games, some swearing, deaths, violence, blood mentionned, angst, 6000 words.

English is not my first language, sorry if there is spelling mistakes. I would also like feedback on this! (not sure if this is an original idea, if you find a similar fanfiction, please lmk). Can be read without having read pt.1

can't really write any stories atm as I have bad grades and need to focus on school ☠️

It had been a little over a week since you moved in with a friend to think about your relationship with Gi-hun. You felt immensely guilty, but it also felt good not to have to constantly worry about him, you were sick of all his promises when nothing ever changed.

You hadn’t tried to contact him, and he hadn’t reached out either. It surprised you, and you even imagined the worst, it wasn’t like him to let you go so easily. Deep down, you truly hoped this breakup was just a rough patch—that you would eventually find your way back to each other.

Every night at your friend’s place, you had to resist the urge to run back to him. You still loved Gi-hun, you never stopped. You still wanted to marry him, to live the life you deserved together. But in a week and a half things had surely not improved on his end. He was probably still being chased by loan sharks, his debts certainly hadn’t decreased, and you would still fear for your own safety.

One evening, on your way home after a long day at work, you stopped on a bench at the park near your friend's flat. You knew you had to move out soon and also had to retrieve your stuff from Gi-hun’s place. The thought of seeing him again filled you with shame, you wouldn’t be able to look at him in the eyes. You hated what you had to do.

As you sat moping on the bench, your face in your hands, you saw a shadow approaching. You immediately looked up, sensing danger as it was quite late and the park was eerily empty. Your eyes met the ones of a handsome man wearing a tailored black suit with a tie. He was also carrying a briefcase that didn’t seem to be empty.

Even though he didn’t look like the usual suspects you saw on the news, you knew damn well that a psychopath could be anyone. Sensing your suspicion, he introduced himself as a salesman and sat beside you.

He didn’t appear threatening but you were already strategizing how to leave the park without seeming suspicious. As you considered all the ways this encounter could go wrong, he spoke.

“I can tell you’re scared—don’t be.” he began, his voice calm and smooth. “As I said, I’m a salesman. I often help people in distress, and when I saw you here so late at night, I thought I could help.”

“How so?” you asked, your tone defensive though his proposition intrigued you.

“I’m sure you’ve played ddakji before, right? Play a few rounds with me. Each time you win, I’ll pay you 100,000 won. I’m sure you could make good use of this money.”

“… What? Is this some kind of shady offer?” you asked in complete disbelief.

“No, no.” he said with a slight laugh. “I just want to help.”

“You just want to play ddakji and if I win, you give me money?”

“That’s about it, yes.”

You looked away, thinking this was all a setup and you were about to be kidnapped. But nothing happened.

After all, you had all your chances, you played when you were younger and you were quite good at ddakji.

“There’s no catch.” the salesman said, sensing your hesitation.

“Okay, then I have no reason not to try and win a bit of money. How many tries do I get?” You asked.

“The game ends when you either win or decide to stop playing.”

“Right.”

The man opened his briefcase on the bench, taking out a red and a blue envelope. You stood up and chose the blue one. It had been years since you’d last played, but you believed in yourself. Besides, he hadn’t mentioned what would happen if you lost, so you had to win.

You stared at the red envelope on the ground and threw the blue one with such force that the red turned over.

You had won first try.

You looked at the salesman shocked, you weren't actually thinking that after years of not playing you could succeed, but you did.

He seemed surprised too but he clapped for your victory.

“Is that it?” you asked, feeling proud of yourself.

“Yes, that’s all. Here’s your 100,000 won. Congratulations.” He placed the bills in your hand, then smiled as he handed you a small card. “If you want to play other games for bigger prizes, call me with this number on the back.” He pointed at the card, smiled and left the other way with his briefcase.

You quickly pocketed the bills and the card, wanting to leave the park as soon as possible but staying still for a moment. You watched him walk away, your heart pounding in your chest. What was that? Was this even real money?

Yes, it was. Your friend, who worked as a cashier, confirmed it.

“You’re lucky nothing bad happened. I would never have played with him, no matter how handsome he was!” she laughed.

“Yeah, I know. It was so weird. I don’t know why I didn’t just run away. But he didn’t seem threatening, and look—I won 100,000 won from his stupid game!” you said, showing off the bills. But something slipped out of them and fell on the floor.

Your friend didn’t notice but you did. It was the card the man had given you. There was a square, a circle, and a triangle on it, along with a number on the back. You dismissed it as his business card and put it back in your pocket.

Later that night, your friend expressed her worry. “I was scared. I thought maybe the men chasing Gi-Hun were now after you. I’m glad it was just a random game of ddakji” she said with a half-smile, knowing how much you still thought about him.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” you replied, brushing it off.

That night, you had nightmares about Gi-hun, the salesman, and the card. At two A.M you woke up, panicked. Your thoughts immediately returned to the card. It didn’t look like a business card at all, and what was this number on the back?

In a moment of despair, you called. Hoping the salesman wasn’t the one supposed to pick up. A generic robotic voice answered, instructing you to go to a secret address in three days and to provide a password to the person who would pick you up. From what you understood, you’d be playing games in a sort of reality TV show to win a lot of money.

You hung up, contemplating your options. You were struggling financially, you needed a new place, and you wanted to help Gi-hun. If this was just about winning stupid games, you thought you’d manage.

Three days later, without telling anyone, you went to the secret location. You had taken a few days off work, only imagining the look on Gi-hun’s face when you’ll return with enough money to solve all his problems.

You woke up feeling extremely groggy, your body heavy, and a strange fog clouding your memory. You struggled to piece together how you had ended up in this place. The last thing you remembered was stepping into a white car and now you were in a huge room, filled with bunk beds stacked incredibly high. The walls were painted half white, half blue, giving the space an unsettling, sterile atmosphere. The air was cool, almost chilly, and it sent a shiver down your spine. You had never seen a place like this before.

Looking around, you saw other people slowly stirring, their faces etched with unease. They looked just as lost as you. There were so many of them—a crowd of strangers successfully recruited by the salesman you thought.

You then lifted the blanket that had been draped over you and froze. You weren’t wearing the clothes you’d had on when you left. Instead, you were dressed in a green tracksuit with a white trim. The number "282" was printed on the front of your shirt and on the back of the jacket.

You had entered the games—the ones the salesman had spoken of. The room around you was buzzing, participants murmuring inaudible words to each other as others extricated themselves from these unfamiliar beds.

Before you could think of what to do next, the front door opened and a group of guards entered the room. They were dressed in bright pink jumpsuits, their faces obscured by black masks. On it was either drawn a circle, a triangle, or a square. The exact same geometric figures that were on the card the salesman gave you.

One of the guards stepped forward, he seemed to be the leader. His voice was robotic, like the man you had on the phone. He explained why you were here and the rules of the games. He then gestured upward and a lever was pulled. From the ceiling descended a massive, transparent, empty piggy bank. It glimmered under the harsh fluorescent lights.

It was supposed to fill up with money as you won games. You thought the idea seemed absurd—childlike games for something as serious as money!

The murmurs of confusion and faint protests from the crowd were ignored. The guards were indifferent to it and turned to leave, announcing that the first game would begin in a few minutes.

You glanced around frantically, hoping to see a familiar face but you found no one you recognized. You felt more isolated than ever, and also kind of trapped.

Moments later you arrived in a vast, open-air room. The ground was covered of a fine layer of sand and the walls were painted sky blue with clouds.

At the far end of the room stood a massive animatronic doll with a frozen expression. The rules of the first game were announced, you were going to play “Red Light, Green Light.”

The doll began to sing, her voice oddly cheerful. You moved forward, careful not to move as you told yourself that if you did you'd be eliminated, you'd go home and you couldn't win any money. And you really needed that money, for Gi-Hun.

The doll’s song paused. You froze, holding your breath but one of your neighbors moved and the doll’s eyes turned red, the man was eliminated on the spot, falling loudly on the sand.

Your body froze. At first, you thought it was a performance, that the man had fallen for the sake of entertainment for the reality TV show.

But as you decided to look closer, you saw blood coming out of him.

Suddenly, a woman screamed, and others followed. Panic rippled through the participants. Some of them sprinted desperately towards the door they had entered through but they were shot one by one by snipers stationed above the doll.

You were paralyzed by the sight of dead bodies. Yet, your body remained still, partly out of sheer terror and partly because your body still felt anaesthetised. You understood the doll detected movements and you saved your life by not moving.

The atmosphere had changed in an instant. People who dared moving fell one by one, their bodies hitting the ground with sickening thuds. Only a handful of participants managed cross the finish line behind the doll at the end.

When you finally reached the line yourself, you turned around and saw the carnage. A hundred bodies littered the ground, blood sprayed in every direction, with corpses stacked near the entry door where people had tried to escape.

Your eyes widened in horror as the realization sank in. You were choking on your sobs, your breath catching in your throat because of what you had just witnessed. Fear had stolen your voice, no sound came out of your mouth.

This was it—you were going to die. What had you been thinking? Why had you agreed to participate in a game proposed by a stranger? You were stupid. So, so fucking stupid.

You sat on the ground, rocking back and forth, desperate for some comfort, but finding none. You couldn’t escape the truth now—you were playing these games with your life.

Eventually, the guards arrived to herd the survivors back to the dormitory. They were armed now, their rifles slunged over their shoulders, their presence suffocating. Not a single word of defiance uttered from participants, everyone was too afraid.

You had never seen dead bodies before in your life, and now you had seen more than a hundred in just a few minutes. Too shocked to process the situation further, you simply returned to your bed.

It was positioned quite high, giving you a clear view of what was happening below. Chaos reigned as everyone was clamoring to leave, shouting, crying, and begging for a way out.

The guards silenced the crowd, contestants instinctively backing into the far corners, terror etched on their faces.

None of the guards spoke, instead one of them activated the lever, and the piggy bank suspended above the room came down again. You watched as bills filled it—this money represented the lives who had been lost to the first game.

The sight of money made the eyes of a few greedy participants light up. As if wealth could justify the loss of human life.

The guards said they would come back in an hour, leaving the participants to contemplate their grim fates. You sat on your bed, trembling. Tears streamed down your face uncontrollably as you clutched your knees to your chest. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t stop crying. You were traumatized.

You were so consumed by your sobs that you didn’t hear the footsteps approaching. Suddenly, you felt a hand on your shoulder. Startled, you looked up, and your breath caught in your throat.

It was Gi-Hun.

The horror on his face mirrored your own. His eyes widened in shock scanned your tear-streaked face, and for a moment, he looked as though he couldn’t believe you were really there.

You realized you were no longer alone but this thought brought no comfort, if anything, it was worse. The man you loved was here, in this nightmare, and that meant he could die too.

He didn’t say a word, he simply pulled you into his arms, holding you so tightly that you felt the faintest sense of security. You could feel his body shaking against yours, his breath uneven, he was crying too.

You buried your face in his chest as he held you, his voice breaking with frustration and fear.

“Oh my God, Y/N, what are you doing here!? Why are you here!?” His voice cracked with desperation. He pulled back slightly, gripping your shoulders and looking into your eyes. His tears glistened under the dim lights, his face a mix of panic and disbelief.

“Don’t tell me you came here for me. Please, tell me you didn’t come here because of me!!” His voice grew louder, frantic, as though he couldn’t bear to hear your answer.

Your tears didn’t stop as you looked at him, guilt and sorrow written all over your face.

“I… I’m so sorry, Gi-hun." you whispered, your voice trembling. “I… I came here because someone told me I could win a lot of money playing these games. I thought… I thought if I won, I could help you. You wouldn’t have to struggle anymore. You wouldn’t have to worry about money ever again and I could be by your side.”

Gi-hun’s face twisted with anguish, his grip on your shoulders tightening. He shook his head, his voice raw with emotion.

“No… no, no, no. You shouldn’t be here. You shouldn’t have come. I…” He trailed off, his voice breaking as he let go of your shoulders and ran a hand through his hair. “This is all my fault. If I hadn’t—”

He couldn’t finish the sentence. Instead, he sank to his knees in front of you, burying his face in his hands.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “You don’t deserve this. You shouldn't be here, you should be safe, happy, not… not trapped in this hell because of me.”

You knelt beside him and wrapped your arms around him. “Gi-hun, stop. Please. I chose to be here, I couldn’t just stand by and watch you suffer, I’m so sorry to have left you.”

He lifted his head, his eyes meeting yours, a mixture of guilt and love. “But you shouldn’t have to do this for me. You shouldn’t have to risk your life for me.”

“I didn’t know that you played these games with your own life...” you said softly, your voice steady despite the tears.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. You both realized you had been trapped in a sick game to manipulate the most distressed people. You both sat against the wall on the bed as Gi-Hun held your hand.

“I swear we’re going to get out of here, and from now on don’t ever leave my sight.” He said firmly.

The guards indeed returned one hour later, and the leader stepped forward.

“Please, remain silent.”

The murmuring stopped almost instantly, replaced by an eerie silence. All eyes were fixed on him.

“As stated in the contract you all signed, if the majority of participants agree to terminate the games, you may leave immediately.”

A wave of gasps and shocked whispers rippled through the room. You felt a glimmer of hope ignite in your chest. Could it really be that simple?

“To proceed, we will conduct a vote. Each participant will have the opportunity to make their choice. A vote to continue the games will be indicated by pressing the green button. A vote to terminate the games will be indicated by pressing the red button. The majority will win.”

The guards brought in a voting machine and a giant digital screen deployed from the wall.

“As a reminder, the prize money accumulated so far will only be distributed if the games continue until the end. If you decide to leave you’ll leave with nothing.”

You glanced at Gi-hun. His jaw was clenched, his eyes locked on the panel with a mixture of hope and dread. Around you, people debated furiously with one another. Some argued for survival, desperate to escape the horror they had just endured but some greedy ones insisted that they had to continue.

A loud beep silenced the room again. The leader gestured towards the panel. “Participants will vote in numerical order. Participant 001, please step forward.”

All eyes turned to the elderly man standing at the front of the room, his green tracksuit hanging loosely on his frail frame. His steps were slow as he approached the panel.

The screen finally lit up with a single green dot.

The vote had begun.

One by one, participants shuffled forward, their decision made public. As the numbers climbed, the split became evident. Green and red dots alternated as tensions rose among the contestants.

You was called, Gi-hun squeezed your hand before letting you go, your eyes searching his for reassurance. You approached the panel, your mind racing. The red button would mean safety, a chance to escape dying. But the green button… winning the games could solve all your problems. It could save Gi-Hun from his crushing debts and give you both a bright future.

Your hand trembled as you pressed the red button.

The screen updated, and you returned to your place beside Gi-Hun, your heart hammering in your chest. He whispered to you “We’re going to get out of here, I swear.” and he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

Gi-Hun was the last to vote, all eyes were on him as he approached the panel. He pressed the red button.

The masked leader stepped forward, his voice calm despite the storm of emotions in the room. “The majority has decided to end the games. You will all be at your homes by the night. You have three days to think about your decision, if a majority of you decides to come back, you’ll all have to do so.”

Gi-Hun and you watched the chaos happening at the center of the room. Some people were yelling, they knew their life would still be miserable when they came home, this was their chance! Others were crying from relief, they were promising themselves to do better, to really try this time.

You also cried from relief, your hand on Gi-Hun's arm.

“We’re going to come home.” You said, your voice barely audible.

“Yes, and I’m never going to let you leave again.” He said with a faint smile.

As the guards said, you had to wait for the night and for every contestant to fall asleep in order to be able to come home. They were probably going to anaesthetized you again, so that none of you would remember anything and wouldn't be able to go to the authorities.

“Can you sleep with me tonight?” you asked Gi-Hun shamefully.

“Of course, I wouldn’t have let you sleep alone anyway.” He paused. “Stop feeling guilty about what you had to do Y/N, you had every right to leave me. I was such a mess, I’m so fucking sorry.”

You didn’t know what to say to him, he was going to promise all sort of things again, but this time you’d believe him more than ever. You hugged him tightly, whispering “I love you” in his ear.

He released himself from your embrace and placed both hands on your cheeks to pull you towards him in a slow, passionate kiss. He poured all his emotions in it, he was desperate, you could sense it.

“I thought I had lost you forever.” He said, unshed tears in his eyes.

“You didn't, I’m always going to be here for you, I love you so much.” You smiled at him.

He smiled at you too. “We should sleep now, I want to get out of here quickly.” You agreed and he held you close to him, his face buried in your hair with his hand on your stomach.

But after a few minutes of trying to fall asleep you realized you just couldn’t, not after the horrors you had just witnessed. Fresh tears spilled down your cheeks. “I’m so scared, Gi-Hun." your whispered, your voice cracking.

He tightened his hold on you, pressing a soft kiss to the back of your head. “I know." he murmured. “I’m scared too. But we’ll get through this, we’re going to investigate this as soon as we come home, too many people died.”

You sobbed quietly, you body shaking against his. Even if his presence was reassuring, you were going to be traumatized forever, with probably no answers to what those games were.

Gi-Hun’s hand moved to your arm, gently tracing soothing circles as he tried to calm you. He hated himself in that moment—hated the decisions that had led both of you here.

“This is all my fault. You shouldn’t be here. None of this should have happened.” He hated that you were suffering because of him.

You shook your head weakly, your hand resting on his. “It’s not your fault, we really need to get out of here to understand what happened to us.”

“I know, but you deserve so much better.” he whispered “I’m going to be better, for real this time.”

Slowly, you both felt reassured, knowing you’ll soon be back in your appartment. You fell asleep first, even if you kept trembling in your sleep. Gi-Hun watched you, determined to get to the bottom of these “games”. He wanted to understand.

“I’ll protect you” he whispered to your sleeping form. “Even if it costs me everything.”

@pink-apples001

[silversword7000]

🩸Star Trek TOS Period Headcanons!!🩸

Kirk:

Kirk would be the kind of guy who has a pretty average period and he would try to just power through and thug it out but you already know he is crying to Spock behind closed doors. He absolutely would need to be taken care of when he is on his period but he tries to pretend nothing is happening when he is on shift. Definitely struggles with mood swings, he would cry at the smallest things sometimes and he wouldn’t know why. Pretty bad pain and heavy flow the first two days but then moderate for the next 5. He has a 7 day period for sure. He would be curled up in a ball with the heating pad and he has a secret stash of chocolate for when he is bleeding. You already know that man is going to get some strange food cravings for real. He would also be a tad bit off balance and he would be shaky when he stands up or sits down. If you tried to fight him while he is on his period he would lose. If he has the time (he doesn’t) to get some extra sleep while on his period he can sleep through some of the worst sections of pain. He could definitely use a few extra naps on his period cause it does make him more exhausted than usual. Sometimes he would have to take a few extra seconds or hear something repeated a few more times for him to make a decision because of his brain fog but it wouldn’t have a big impact on being captain. Actually, whenever he is in a stressful situation he is able to focus up and power through his period way better than when things are slow. When he has something urgent to draw his thoughts then he can manage his symptoms like a pro. He just struggles in those periods of down time because he can’t help but focus on what’s happening to his body and this is what makes him so distressed. 

Spock:

Ok Spock would have pretty bad pain, not as bad as it could get but it would be a consistent level of bad pain the entire time. Spock has the vibe of having a 6 day one. He would have a heavy flow but he has a routine about changing pads and everything so he is good. He literally just powers through the pain because showing that he is in pain or god forbid, struggling, would be “illogical”. This man just wants to get through his shift with nobody noticing he is on his period. He would definitely have intermittent bad headaches. He does not get the butt cramp. He tries to keep a cool exterior but sometimes he is clenching a fist SO HARD. He wouldn’t really experience many of the symptoms, like no digestion issues, no cravings, no fatigue BUT he would absolutely be a lot more depressed for no reason and it makes him so mad because he doesn’t know why he feels that way and how to stop it. Kirk would definitely help him deal with these feelings if he actually opened up to him about it which would take Spock a while to do. This is why he went to Uhura first who was a great help in understanding and accepting how his period makes him feel. 

Bones:

You already know this man is going to have the most MASSIVE SPLITTING HEADACHE his entire period. His would be 5 days but oh my god he is going to be having the WORST time. He definitely has a lot of pain pretty much the entire time. His hands would be shaky because of the pain which pisses him off immensely because he needs to be precise for his work. He gets irritated even more than usual and has trouble regulating his emotions which can lead to him blowing up at random patients. He definitely gets hit with the butt cramp sometimes and he just has to stand there and grip a table for a minute while he rides it out. He would have to piss all the freaking time and it is so frustrating to him. He would’ve tried tampons at some point but they make his cramps even worse and he also can’t get the applicator to even work most times so he just give up and uses pads. He on occasion would use a menstrual cup but only if he is on shore leave because he really doesn’t like fooling with washing it while he is on the ship. He has found that having pain elsewhere in his body momentarily distracts him from his period pain so sometimes he can be found gripping his leg extremely hard or trying to drive his nails into his palm. Medicine does absolutely nothing for him, believe me he has tried but he just has to suffer. He would have to have the heating pad on blast just to get to sleep and he also gets cold a lot easier, even when it’s warm. His hands would be absolutely FREEZING!! He wouldn’t get any cravings but he is absolutely hit with both constipation AND diarrhea. Poor Bones is having an absolute time of it on his period. He also started getting his around when he was 11 years old and it used to be less bad but became worse over the years. He wasn’t good at dealing with it anyways when it was easier so he didn’t even get to appreciate the years that were calmer. A lot of the crew just try to avoid him even if they are injured if they know he is on his period because they’d rather be in pain than face his wrath.

Scotty:

He definitely gets pissy when he is on his period. It is totally fair though because he has a LOT of pain. He definitely has to pass a large chunk of blood each time and then after that is gone he is pretty much good. Before then though he is in so much pain it is all he can focus on. He even gets distracted with his engineering tasks! He doesn’t get any headaches but he gets very bad mood swings and you already know that man is being HIT with the butt cramp. It would literally make him be on the floor with pain. His stomach would also hurt randomly when he is eating but other than that he wouldn’t have any digestion issues. He would be extra gassy though. Everyone knows to stay FAR away from Scotty when he is bleeding. Sometimes he just resorts to getting so drunk he blacks out to avoid the pain because he just can’t take it anymore. It’s really not a great way to cope but the poor guy hasn’t found anything else that helps so he has to resort to that sometimes. Dealing with the hangover after almost makes it not worth it though but he really doesn’t know what else to do.

Uhura:

Hers are overall pretty moderate. She would have a heavy flow but the pain wouldn’t be too bad. Of course there would be some moments where she is struggling with it but overall it is pretty chill for her. She could definitely take a few ibuprofen or some midol and be fine. She would run hot and need a little fan on her at all times cause if there is no airflow it makes her feel worse and lightheaded. She also gets nauseous occasionally, especially in the morning but it is also worsened when she is hungry. This leads her to usually swap out her usual coffee for some mint tea that week so that she can calm her stomach. It does lead to her being more tired and a bit less focused in the first hour of her shift but it isn’t really noticeable to anyone outside of her. She would sleep like a rock while on her period but also randomly get woken up by pain and then have to sit and read for an hour or so before she can go to bed. She would definitely be bleeding for 7 days (and sometimes 8) but the last 3 days would be pretty chill, just more of waiting it out than anything. On rare occasions, she catches herself getting angered by innocuous things. She knows that normally these things wouldn’t anger her though so she is always able to keep her emotions in check. Spock would come to her when he is struggling with his emotions when he is on his period. 

Sulu:

Sulu’s pain fluctuates pretty frequently. He has learned to just try and appreciate the moments where the pain is light cause he definitely would be struggling when his pain is bad. His pain wouldn’t be bad often or even consecutively much but every once in a while he will just be HIT with pain and then he would need to sit down. Being with his plants helps him because of the fresh air, plus it gives him something to focus on so he will take his mind off of his pain being all over the place. He is having a rougher time with it when he is on the bridge since the work is more demanding and he really needs to make sure his mind is sharp and on target. He has learned a few breathing exercises that help him but medicine and his heating pad also help. He would definitely have some of those portable heating pads for periods. He also definitely has some essential oils that help keep him calm and able to recenter himself when he is on shift. He uses tampons most of the time because he really hates how the pads feel, it always chafes no matter what he does but sometimes he has to wear them because he is worried about leakage with the tampon. He would definitely have a lot of digestion issues. Sometimes when he would just smell some food he would get super nauseous. He would be able to quell his digestion issues by making sure to eat extra healthy (as if he doesn’t already) but it doesn’t make eating that much easier for him. He would be harder on himself than normal when he is on his period which is so sad cause he should give himself extra grace now of all times! He just can’t help it though, he gets frustrated when he can’t do as much as he would normally do. When his pain is lighter he exercises and practices fencing whenever he can because the movement and physical activity helps keep his pain lowered. He has to sit out when his pain is worse though.

Chekov:

Oh lord. So his pain level also varies but less so than Sulu’s. It will vary by each period so he will have one period that will be very bad and another that will be totally chill but Chekov is complaining the ENTIRE TIME. Every single person on the bridge knows when he is on his period he literally will not shut up. Sometimes he makes random freaking noises because of the pain. He would also get headaches randomly but when he gets one it is there for the entire rest of the day. He cannot focus on anything and gets very easily confused. He absolutely suffers from mood swings but not as badly as Scotty or Bones. He wouldn’t get digestion issues but he would get so constipated it would be so bad. He just really struggles with dealing with his periods especially since his vary in intensity and symptoms each time. He wouldn’t have gotten his period till later though around like 16 or 17. Chekov just really doesn’t have any good coping mechanisms and he complains a lot because he needs help and he just doesn’t want to admit that he really needs someone to support him during his periods. Eventually though Sulu would figure this out and try to work with him to find some coping mechanisms that work. Heating pads don’t help him but taking some medicine and using a cold compress does make his headaches better. Chekov would get absolutely ROCKED by the butt cramp, he is getting that thing multiple times every period and lord he would just die. He doesn’t notice it but his mood swings definitely make him more stressed than normal and sometimes he cries out of frustration. He also gets easily frustrated when the coping mechanisms don’t help him. He uses pads but hates the feel of them. He also has a lot of blood clots throughout the beginning of his period. His only lasts 5 days but for those 5 days poor Chekov is really struggling. Chocolate does make him feel slightly better though. He would’ve definitely tried getting drunk at some point to see if that made it any easier to deal with but because of his period he would get way more nauseous than normal. The whole room would be spinning and he’d STILL be feeling all of that pain. He couldn’t get to sleep for HOURS. He tried that again after that horrible night. He usually struggles with insomnia (but also doesn’t realize that it is his period causing it) cause he goes to bed late anyways but some nights it really gets to him and he gets so pissed off about not being able to sleep. The next morning he is half dead during his shift. Poor Chekov is just an absolute mess when he is bleeding.

Chapel:

Lowkey hers are definitely pretty mild. I feel like they would be light but constant pain all day. She definitely relaxes with a heating pad and some tea and that is enough to pretty much set her straight. Sometimes when she is on shift she gets brain fog though. She is way more gassy than usual and actually a lot of the time her gas pains are worse than her period pains. She gets so embarrassed about being gassy even though there isn’t anything she can do about it. She has a stretch routine that she uses to help relieve her pain and refocus her. If the medbay is particularly slow (a rarity on the Enterprise) then she sometimes does her stretches during work but usually she is running around so much that she doesn’t have the time. If she turns too quickly or stands up a bit too fast she will get absolutely ROCKED by dizziness sometimes. It isn’t that often but it is always in the back of her mind so most of the time she is extra careful but when the medbay is busy she doesn’t have that luxury. Her feet are more cold than usual so sometimes she has to wear fuzzy socks to work because she will be freezing otherwise. She bleeds for about six days but has some lingering spotting. Overall though hers are very manageable to her which she is thankful about.

✨💫Thank you so much for reading!! I have the innate ability to make period headcanons for literally any character I don't even think about these they just are divinely spawned into my mind. Reblogs and comments are adored!!💫✨

Dividers by cafekitsune

[eepyleaf]

😈 DIADOP WEEK ☎️ day 3 prompt - comfort.

You’re the only one who’s always there after a bad dream, or if I’m not feeling so great even if I say I’m fine, you always know …well, almost always, but I know you struggle sometimes too. The only thing that brings me comfort is hearing your voice, Boss. // And your presence is also one of profound comfort, my dearest Doppio, how you are unashamed to exist as you are in the moment and so much more. In the presence of strangers whom would cause me unease, you are there to speak and guide the self as easy as one may breath…well, most of the time. And that is where I may guide you also. The greatest enemy may be ourself, but we are also our greatest comfort.

No headcanon yapping today, other to say that they comfort each other when needed. Though that isn’t so easy sometimes. Should Diavolo for some reason not be present when Doppio is in distress, she will often manifest King Crimson’s arms to hug the self in effort to comfort and calm. She’d ramble about whatever caused the upset, usually a nightmare or a memory not meant for her, knowing crimson wouldn’t respond but it still felt good to talk. And in a way, knowing that the stand belongs to the boss and that stands are the soul of its user, it brought her immense comfort to be hugged by it, believing in a way that she was being hugged by the boss. This doesn’t change much after Doppio becomes aware of Who Diavolo is and the immense difficulties following discovery….other than Diavolo being the one to manifest crimson’s arms while Doppio is fronting to hug her.

[transmutationisms]

Was reading through your tag, and just wanted to make sure I understood. I experience symptoms assigned to various disorders; none of them would be a beneficial diagnosis because of the function of psychiatry and how said symptoms are always tied to an arbitrary label called "Huge Bitch Disorder" or something similar. That's no argument, having the diagnosis would not be useful and if anything would be more harmful.

At the same time, said experienced symptoms are disabling outside of a capitalist concept. Those issues would exist in an ideal future, and I'd still be distressed by them without much of a way to stop it. I saw you mention accomodations, and I agree with enforcing/endorsing those, but for people like me a lot of those accomodations would require allowing harm to be done to others to some degree. What is the material solution to this? I don't mean to curveball anything, it's just hard to conceptualise when my specific psychological distress is related to compulsions and direct actions taken to harm and use others [hence why a psychiatric diagnosis is deeply unhelpful, because having on a chart that you're a manipulator with violent impulses is one of the easiest ways to lose autonomy fast]. I can understand that the framework allows seeking available options on a willing basis, but the current idea of "available options" is also immensely based in reducing autonomy and seeking to "cure" rather than to stablise/provide legitimate tools to exist as you are more easily. Would it be seeking a goal of improved options/better regulation with patient autonomy at the forefront?

Trying to lay it all out in front of me to understand better, pretty much.

i think basically the reason you feel like you're going in circles on this is because you're still working off the DSM diagnosis (ASPD?) as-defined, all you've dropped is the attachment to the numeric diagnostic code itself. i really don't think "person who is doomed to compulsively harm others unless restrained and denied autonomy" is like a type of person who exists. i don't know you & can't really tell you what would help You, Specifically, but i do actually think you deserve better options than hating yourself with the technology of psychiatry or hating yourself without it

[swadloom]

Water flight headcanons yippee!! Under the cut because there's a lot

Fathoms act as living taxis for some of the water flight's tinier members who struggle to travel long distances without being lost or swept away. If a water dragon gets lost or injured, their first piece of advice given is always to listen for a fathom call and swim in its direction.

Many water dragons communicate using scent, similar to real-life fish. Often this involves creating balls of herbs and chemicals, then crushing them when needed. This can send messages further than sound for many smaller, non-Fathom dragons, and can vary from distress calls to meetings to a sign that a bubble of the Tidelord's voice has been spotted.

There is a fairly high population of water mirror dragons, since it's a very opportune hunting place. Packs of these mirrors are instead called schools or pods, and they've drawn from the techniques of dolphins for hunting. While being skilled hunters and passionate allies to those they align with, few take much interest in prophecies or the wellbeing of the Tidelord.

Whales are revered by the water flight, their calls believed to be them communicating prophecies. The Drowned Sanctum also serves as a center of research on marine life, and attempts to decode whale "language" is very prevalent.

Octopus have a similar reputation due to their intelligence, though they are much more silent. Some consider having an octopus in the lair good luck, while others see their silence combined with the black ink they spew as signs that unlike whales, they bear bad visions which should not be revealed, and are bad luck instead.

Like clownfish, some battle-oriented dragons purposefully sting themselves with anemones and jellyfish to give themselves resistance to enemies' venom.

Many times, outsiders are not allowed to look under the surface of the Sea of a Thousand Currents without permission and will not be given passage and the water magic needed to breathe by a water dragon without either clan connections or a water / wind buddy. "Treading a Guardian's water" is an expression equivalent to "sticking your nose where it doesn't belong" and "poking the bear" combined. Some dragons with poorer flying abilities would rather cross the plague and fire domains to get to their destination than be interrogated by a water dragon ("You will learn nothing of our prophecies! Where were you when the storm that ravaged our sea occurred!? Why do you not have a boat!? Did you take my crystal ball!?")

The water flight dislikes the neighboring wind flight for their frequent violation of this due to their own ability to breathe underwater and their love of adventure, which can sometimes include sea treasure hunts and passionate one-man missions to solve the sea's mysteries. It's hard to get your claws on one long enough to kick them out. Additionally, due to this and tales of the Tidelord and Windsinger warring, many water clans blame the wind flight for the storm that preceeded the Tidelord's dissapearance. Both them and the lightning flight (which similarly lack many boundaries around the ocean and its bounties) have been under immense scrutiny by the water flight, leading to tumultuous weather as a result of angry clashes between the flights. The arcane flight's curiosity into water's visions also bothers them, but this varies much more between flights due to shared reverence of magic and the Starfall Isles' distance giving little reason for suspicion.

The earth flight and water flight get along fairly well, especially after Tetra's presence in the Dustcarve Dig. Many Obelisks believe that the Earthshaker is attempting to help the Tidelord given the words and memories they were given upon creation and carrying his memories of the Tidelord’s seeming sorrow and concern at broken friendships. However, it is rather difficult for both flights to put up with the conditions of each other's domain, and it's more likely for diplomats or scholars to move into a clan than for the average earth dragon to try living on the coast, or vice versa. No one likes scale erosion or dried wings.

Prophecies and oracles are still present after the Tidelord’s disappearance, but they lack his help in awakening and guiding their powers. Prophetic dreams and scrying visions have taken on a more obscured and distressing nature since, which worsen the deeper someone dives into the ocean

As a consequence, "Seer Soother" has become a more common profession. Prophecies and Leviathan Trench dives aren't always great for the dragon psyche, and these dragons try to remedy that. Skydancers are fairly numerous in this trade, not only because of their emotion sensing powers, but because a similar practice exists in the neighboring wind domain among clans allied with the raptorik beastclans trying to reunite with their tengu brethren. Water dragons often don't trust these folks if they're from outside their own flight, but sometimes it's a must if the bearer of a horrible vision wants to return to normal life. Skydancers make great tea too, so that makes up for some of the shame.

The Tidelord is often paranoid. He worries himself over whether revealing a future he foresaw would be good or bad for his kind, and what will happen if a future comes to pass without warning. He still feels affection for the other deities yet heavily distrusts them and what they might do to his kind once they're out of his reach. Many dragons who left the Sea of a Thousand Currents recall feeling like the ocean was trying to tug them back in and stop them from leaving. My theory on his vanishing is that he saw visions of the Shade in the deep and dove to confront them himself and spare his flight of their horrors. The storm was a result of their battle, and it ended when he was overcome and trapped in battle with them.

Since his disappearance the Spiral Keep has had the same energy as the Spongebob scene where it's the office space in his brain with 500 mini Spongebobs panicking with everything on fire. Many of the scrying tools there have lost their magic and the archives of prophecies and their translations have stopped growing. The Spiral Keep now mainly serves as a center of operations for finding the Tidelord, with some of those exalted to his side attempting to gather enough magical energy to restore the Keep's magic.

[hawnks]

"She almost killed me!"

The maid holds a hand to her bleeding throat. The wound is already starting to close, healing with the exceptional acuity of a healthy vampire. The offense certainly outweighed the damage.

"You were instructed not to startle her." Sayid is careful to keep any inflection from his voice. Any emotion at all tended to encourage excitement.

He allows the young woman a moment to rail against him, and the "monster" she was meant to serve. Sayid refrains from noting that if Jane was a monster, so too were they all. He only employs other vampires on the estate, knowing that their fortitude would prevent any serious disaster.

It would not, however, prevent frequent turnover.

He interrupts the tirade with a raised hand. "You're dismissed. Thank you."

Sayid enters the bathroom without knocking. Jane has already learned his scent, his footfalls. She could sense him coming from a mile away.

He clicks his tongue at the sight of her, naked and dripping in the corner of the large, tiled room. Her shivers increase as he approaches, forever wary of him.

He doesn't let that break his heart.

"You forget your own strength, my love."

She peers down at her hands, as if seeing them for the first time. "I didn't mean to," she whispers.

"I know." He takes her bloody fingers in his, pressing his thumb into her palms. Massaging her until the worst of the tension is released. "We'll work on it."

He leads her back to the sunken tub, lowering her in with a murmur to be careful, don't slip, there we are, darling.

She had been in here less than five minutes with the maid. She was still filthy, after today's escape attempt left her covered in mud and detritus. He plucks a leaf from her hair surreptitiously.

Sinking to his haunches and rolling up his sleeves, he breathes in her closeness. For a moment he just touches her, cupping her crown with one hand, petting her with minute little strokes. He lets her flinch and recover, lets some of the fight or flight ebb.

When she's still, he grabs the pitcher, dousing her hair in warm water. The dried mud starts to flake off, everything softening.

He gathers the damp strands so he can massage the shampoo in, deftly avoiding brushing against her neck.

The scars there are stark, even more so since her turning. Dark, mottled skin, ringing her throat like a collar. They were sensitive, too. Even the slightest touch was enough to agitate her, both the tenderness of the wounds and the memories they brought back could send her into a sightless rage.

She was nearly dead when he found her. Bleeding out, almost decapitated. Human. How would such a delicate creature ever survive such a savaging. Despite the taboo of turning one's own mate, Sayid was desperate. Even as a newly minted vampire, she almost didn't make it.

Her body healed. Her mind didn't.

The doctors told him this happened sometimes. Human minds weren't always strong enough to survive sudden immortality. Already so fragile after the attack, it was a miracle she retained any sanity at all.

But Sayid knew it wasn't only the immense changes causing her so much distress.

Jane resents what she's become. And she resents him for turning her, even as she craves the comfort and protection her mate can provide. She tears herself apart, wanting, hating that she wants. Her mind rebels against her own instincts.

In the early days, when she would cry and scream and claw, punishing him for turning her, he thought of reasoning with her. Maybe he could make her understand why he did it.

If you weren't a vampire, you would be dead.

But he knew exactly what her response would be, could hear her voice so clearly in his head. Good.

He couldn't bear to have it made reality.

Logic wasn't at the heart of this, anyway. She despised him, and he loved her anyway. He knew that she could only truly heal if she was free of this place, away from the man who forced her to live despite violent objections.

He smooths his palms down her arms, taking her hands again. Carefully, he begins cleaning the blood from under her fingernails. Once she's spotless, he cant bring himself to release her. He holds her hands, wrapped around her from behind, the bath water growing tepid as minutes pass.

She still breathes, manually working her lungs despite the lack of necessity. He wonders if she'll ever grow out of it. Part of him hopes he doesn't, that he'll get to listen to the steady rhythm forever.

"How can you even stand to touch me?" she says. "I'm a monster."

That word again. He wish he could ban it from the house.

He doesn't let himself be shocked by her self deprecation, tamps down the instinct to be rail against it, to tell her he loves her, whatever she may be. His praise only smothers her.

Instead, he kisses the top of her head, with every ounce of tenderness he possesses. "Because, darling, I'm a monster too."

[ctheathy]

Seduction and hate-flirting w/ Yandere Popee

Popee x Reader

Yandere+NSFW Headcanons

Short Concept

Author's note: my yan. Popee is an absolute punchable disgrace to deal with, but even he is not unbreakable. It's time to watch him crumble~

The separate headcanons for Yandere Popee will get more into detail about his bad behaviour and torment towards the Reader. So these might lack context for the most part.

[Gender-neutral Darling|Female Darling|Male Darling]

Popee/Reader [Romantic Tendencies]

Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :

Both reader+character are of legal age or aged-up for obvious reasons in this post!

These are partly smut headcanons, read at own risk. dom!Reader+sub!Popee • Manipulative Reader • Reader 100% has a sadistic streak • Unhealthy power dynamic • Toxic influence • Abusive+Destructive behaviour • Seduction • Sexual fantasies • Brainwashing(?) • Obsession • Masochism • Degradation • Swearing • Harassment • Invasion of privacy • Anger issues/Pent up lust • Assault • Tongue making out • Dirty talk • Climax mentioned • But it never actually leads to intercourse

This would certainly make for quite the dynamic. Popee, despite having an obsessive mentality driven by pure desire towards you, has been known to cause immense distress and discontent on your part. Purposely overstepping your boundaries, inflicting anguish and trying to put you in a bad light. Hating on you because you awakened these unknown emotions in him ...So much so that it would likely cause you to hold quite some resentment towards the boy with the bunny suit. Resentment you try releasing through some good old hate-flirting. You'd feel yourself craving more and more to bring out the worst in him, all the things that he's hiding and secretly feels ashamed of. And for someone like Popee with an ego the size of the Milky Way, that just makes the challenge extra irresistible to work on. While you can all imagine his reaction and denial as he’s forced to admit to himself that the one person he despises is the person he wants so badly.

You could literally destroy him from his heart, to his mind and it would cause him to become even more of a snobby bastard in general. Where he becomes even quicker to explode with his outbursts and lash out at Kedamono if he were to get that attached to you. Usually he’s such a loudmouth and he thinks he can never be phased with anything, he thinks he’s too powerful to be affected by anything. But you have the ability to absolutely break him, making him feel things beyond just anger from the power struggle and how you love to see him struggle to maintain control over you.

He 100% has a hate boner for you AND you 100% get off on teasing him. Just picture the mental gymnastics Popee would go through in his head as he desperately tries to convince himself that he hates this person while you can just have a ball teasing him and ruining his already broken ego. Which begs the question... for how long Popee could hold it together before he finally loses his cool and absolutely explodes on you. He has so much pent up anger in general and I feel like you could definitely be the one to set off the ticking time bomb inside of him.

Despite the tough exterior Popee wants to uphold, he is so goddamn sensitive and you could easily figure out that his tolerance for sexual activities is extremely low. He’d be so turned on the moment you even touch him in any way, if you even accidentally brushed against him a certain way he’d start getting hard. And when your clothes get all clingy from the practice sweat, he wouldn’t even be able to stand a chance. You could absolutely be feasting on his desperation and anger. You'd have this huge mountain of a man reduced to such an emotional and sexual mess that can’t think of anything but YOU.

You should absolutely go as far to try and make him moan in public. Just a scenario of him rudely bossing his assistants around, before you just go upfront, all personal and touchy with him as you egg him on. You'd have him making all kinds of noises that a man shouldn’t be making out in the open, you'd know how to push his buttons and you should not be afraid to do it either. The more he’s left broken and frustrated, the more he wants you. The more he denies his feelings, the harder he falls. He absolutely loathes the fact that he needs you, that he craves you in such manners. He might still act arrogant and prideful towards you but you just know he still contains those wet dreams that take him right back to square one.

You'd have the ability of being so very influential on him, he would be at the point where you would be able to make him do anything for you. Getting him all worked up and then leaving him to cool off by himself, before the cycle repeats itself. He would be cursing your name over and over in that tent, wishing that you were there to finish what you started. The thought of his quiet, furious little yells and moans of frustration from his tent would absolutely manage to crack you up, the way he would be so damn upset but so incredibly turned on at the same time. Because that’s direct proof of just how bad he really wants you, he wants you so bad that he actually tears up over it while actively touching himself. He would absolutely be sobbing softly in his pillow after the entire ordeal is done, but deep down he wants it.

You can twist his hatred towards you into the most raging, uncontrollable amount of desire for you. And at some point he would absolutely lose it and end up begging you to use him. Just pure sin. Both of your relationship would most likely get so incredibly bad that just the idea of you spitting in his mouth when he did something you didn't like, hurting him or stepping on him and just placing your full weight on top of him would leave him feeling moist and sweaty. He’d act like the idea of you stepping on him, sitting on his face, literally spitting on him, would be the most horrible thing imaginable... but the most embarrassing part would be how much he’d enjoy it deep down.

The more you humiliated him and treated him like garbage, the more he would begin to crave it. The more he would want you to degrade him, that would be the thing that would destroy who he is as a person. He would literally be your lapdog, but he wouldn’t even realize that he was. Basically Popee would become a full blown masochist for you, yet refuses to acknowledge the fact that he's submitted to you completely and is practically begging on his knees to be used and broken by you.

There have definitely been countless of instances where he'd get in your tent uninvited in the middle of the night, either wanting to vent out his frustrations to you or insult you to make you feel bad. To which I imagine you would start make some subtle, teasing comments but they gradually get more suggestive and flirty; mentioning how suspicious it is to show up at somebody else's bed, alone, at night, when everybody's asleep and are less capable of hearing their surroundings. And when he finally catches on to your intentions, his confidence starts to drain and gets replaced by feeling more flustered and embarrassed as he desperately tries to hide the growing bulge in his suit, feeling his arousal grow with every word and tease that leaves your mouth. He would be trying so hard to ignore you, but you can see right through his desperate little attempts and just make further moves on him.

He's in your territory now.

But all of his efforts go right out of the window as soon as you get up close to him. Freezing up as soon as your hand reaches out to touch his jawline and before he knows it ...with your lips pressed against his. It would be such a satisfying yet unexpected moment as soon as your tongue slides in to tease the insides of his mouth, an activity Popee just wouldn't be able to reject. Which is a moment where Popee would immediately lose all of his self control and start groaning, fighting tooth and nail to keep his vocal chords as quiet as he can. The moment that your tongue touches him he would just become a little drooling, submissive, desperate wreck of a person. He'd even forget that he hates you in the heat of the moment. Hell, if it went on long enough, it would likely evolve into pleas to keep going, be rougher with him and go faster. Pleas to just absolutely go out on him.

His brain would be too overwhelmed and overloaded from all the intense feeling and sensations and pleasure that he just wouldn’t be able to even think at all. He’d be too busy focusing all that energy in trying not to moan and cry out for you, he would absolutely feel like he was being assaulted with how it’s almost too much for him. You would be so talented at making him struggle and squirm. And there’s absolutely nothing he can do against you, as that tongue alone is enough to make him fall back in love with you. As soon as you pull back only to plunge it back in he would be completely disoriented, his eyes rolling back while he’s still moaning and barely able to even support himself. Which is something you shouldn't even be satisfied with at all, taste everything that big mouth of his has to offer and just keep on going until he’s a wet, messy, overstimulated little bitch.

You'd get him so deep into the rabbit hole that he would practically be begging on the ground for you, just for you to ignore him. You could be teasing him with your mouth, kissing him, biting him and just being absolutely filthy with him. And once he’s begging you to not stop, you should give him the most pathetic, pitiful, short little kiss on the forehead and just dismiss him like he’s nothing. You'd make him feel so dirty that as soon as you turn on that sadistic streak, he's basically your little plaything. The way that you would mock and tease him would make him want it so badly. Especially when being literal the reason that he ends up having such... unholy dreams with you in them. You would be the one to completely wreck him, all sense of pride and his dignity.

Which would be the best part honestly, seeing him absolutely breaking down and revealing his true feelings through his body language and physical responses. He’d be so much more sensitive and weak during his intimate moments. His lips would become more plush and his body would look more fragile than normal. The way he moves would turn into something more meek and shy, similar to his mirror counterpart, Eepop. His breathing would become heavier as his eyes and tail would droop, he would completely become a different man when you're together in that sense. Because unlike his other companions who try their best staying on his good side, you're not at all afraid to call him out on his bluff. You know what he wants and you're not stepping back from mentioning his not-so-pure fantasies and mocking him for it.

It’s such a humiliating thing for him to hear, that you would act so disgusted by the very thought of him wanting to breed you. Your dirty words would be sending red-hot shocks of pleasure through his body, making his entire body shake. Popee would just be so flustered, so utterly horny that he could barely even keep it together. And then his own fantasies start to make it even better... as his genitalia begins to drip in response to those very thoughts, thoughts that he’s so desperately trying to get rid of. This is exactly the type of humiliation that Popee would not be able to control at all. His legs would begin to twitch and his body would spasm with ecstasy, he’s desperate for so much more but he’s trying so hard to resist. Which is something that would infuriate him so badly.

Because even when looking at alternative options for release, a toy really isn’t really going to get the job done either. He wants someone to actually dominate him, he wants to feel helpless, he wants to be put in his place. He wants to scream out your name and have no control over it. Something that isn’t the real deal won’t quite work for him. Not to mention the fact that he isn’t able to actually ask you for anything even remotely suggestive, but the fact that he’s begging you silently makes him feel beyond pathetic.

And honestly, this just sounds like an exact scenario where Popee would give up and start begging you to just take him already. His entire face would be red as a tomato at this point, there would be no more of that smestering contempt or smug smile on his face, just pure, raw, desperation. All of his pent up rage at you for your antics would just turn into complete lust and need. If you play along with his deeply hidden fantasies, you'd have him at your feet. You'd have him sobbing on all fours, just whining out for you to make those imaginations a reality for him.

Something you obviously won't comply with, atleast not yet... As you instead continue teasing him with the very dreams he thirsts after, emphasizing it in an unnecessary amount of detail and mentioning the empty what ifs if you were to allow him to go a step further with you. Getting him so unimaginably riled up that it reaches a moment with him begging and pleading for you to let him have a second to calm down and stop playing into his fantasies, to give him any semblance of relief. Popee would so desperately try to hide himself with his hands as his pre would slowly leak out of him, feeling so very shameful about it. But no matter what he did, he’s going to let some out eventually. He just wouldn’t last, especially not with you baiting his constant arousal. If he began behaving like that, you would totally have to come up to him from behind and place your hands on his shoulders, pressing your body against his back all while while digging your fingers into his shuddering shoulders. But all it takes is just one single perverted whisper...

“You don't last long, do you...~?”

You just know Popee would be putty in your hands if you did that. He’d be breathing faster and faster and would likely be squeezing his own arm or something to try hard not to cum on the spot. His back would arch and his stomach would start clenching, he’d be making some cute, girly little sounds as you're all up close from behind. The desperation becoming more noticeable as you press yourself up against him even more and get a good view of his rear end from the position you are in. He would start to squirm and let out pathetic whimpers as he tries to hide exactly how much it’s affecting him. The things you can whisper in his ear would be the most intoxicating and humiliating things he’s ever heard in his entire existence. But even with his efforts, Popee just doesn’t have the self-control to hold back.

He would totally throw his head back into your shoulder as his load dripped and leaked all over his legs. Where he would release so much it would just be pouring down his leg and onto the ground. His eyes would start rolling as he releases those gaspy moans in a heavy, quick manner while he trembles. All while you would just look at him with a bitchy smirk as he completely ruins his suit for you once again... just being the most embarrassing little thing around you. Even if you gave him permission to feel you up for being such a good boy for you, he would still be too much of a loser to do it right, in which you should totally just smack his hand away and reply with a “bad boy~”

It also just adds extra fuel to the fire that you're not the type to physically harm him at all, with your antics all just being teasing and immense mind games. The most aggressively physical you've ever gotten with him being by grabbing his chin to make him look at you, not able to recall any moment where you've actually caused him serious pain, with his experiences with you being pleasurable more than anything... Which really keep him on edge as you continue using your own little methods to make him impatient, giving these teeny tiny scraps of backhanded affection while he's basically dying from touch starving deprivation.

But you wouldn’t even need to use any physical violence on him for him to break down and get what you want, you can just use every single dirty trick in the book and play him like a fiddle. You'd have him begging for punishment to the point where you wouldn’t even have to lift a single finger, he would want it. I can imagine him finally giving in to you at some point, just falling into your charms and letting out those loud, desperate, begging moans for you. He would absolutely hate that he’s letting you do this to him, he would HATE the fact that you've turned him into your desperate, hormonal little slut.

Where he's gotten to a point where he would just willingly let you do all of that to him with no resistance because you've already broken him so badly mentally that nothing else could even break him further. He’d already be so broken down that you stepping on him would be an absolute pleasure for him and his fragile mind. You could literally do whatever you please and he would accept it with open arms. His whole mind is already completely brainwashed and warped up in his own sick and twisted desires.

And there’s no way he’d have the mental fortitude to do any stunt after realising what addictive hell he's brought upon himself.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

[srbachchan]

DAY 5992

Jalsa, Mumbai July 14/July 15, 2024 Sun/Mon 4:05 am

🪔 ,

July 14 .. birthday greetings to : Ef Shalini from Allahabad (now Prayagraj) .. Ef Manish Mehrotra .. and Ef Anupam Srivastava .. 🙏🏻❤️🚩

It is late .. but not without reason or cause .. spending time with loved ones at the Gate and then at home with family .. ever such a joy to a whole bunch of relatives busy interacting, running around the premises and simply enjoying the little pleasures of togetherness ..

And GOJ .. that has been an experience each Sunday .. the ramp on wheels I asked to move closer to the well wishers .. and the mobility towards them is an excitement always .. you hear them better , you feel the expressive love better , you give those a chance to see and be greeted that at times stand at a distance and never seen ..

So the ramp has added the mobility much needed .. personal and public meets are restricted .. but some of the inevitable are complied with ..

... and the joy expressed in their eyes and faces remains with you for days .. despite the much opinionated fear often felt of appearing at the GOJ to meet them ..

At times the personal contact in the days after covid has been there but distant and this has been a point of immense disappointment with those that express a wish to meet ..

BUT .. dearest ones , give me time to get clearances fro the Medical Unit and I shall be able .. soon , if not too far ..

The years of yore ;

and the reel in the making :

There has been a suggestion to read a script given for production .. and one that relied on nthe values of theosophy and the occult ..

A most fascinating read in a precise rendering, but influential enough to set a vacant mind into a thought process, that keeps a consistent 'knock on the door' to turn away and change path for its search .. the search of humanity in the realisation of its birth and thereafter .. Dear O dear there is so much to learn and imbibe .. and time slips away as rapidly as it possibly can .. to hold it and refrain it from immediate travel ahead is well nigh impossible .. the movements of the Earth can never .. so we live a life of unanswered questions and beliefs and the presence of religion and more ..

A most fascinating subject .. and in many ways getting inspired by a movie !!!

AND the film, has many significant stories, hidden or brought about in a form KALKI 2898 AD .. which I must admit has been instrumental in its viewing 4 times .. at the iMax theatre .. which has the capacity of a perfect imagery on screen along with a quality of sound that seems to have been installed after considerable understanding and layout ..

SO back to the GOJ : and the giving out in equal distribution, umbrellas, to them that have stood there for some, bearing the heat and cold and the thunder and lightening of monsoon rain .. the umbrella, a gift from that very sincere well wisher Sunil Shah, from Surat Gujarat , who just does not attempt to stay calm and controlled , but instead continues to send these gifts as a token of his sincerity and love ..

I applaud the gestures he has made all these years .. his affection and love over brimming and so potent .. it just does not behove a telling off for him .. his mode of affection does not change ..

I am honoured and humbled by these intricate gestures, of love .. but really, they are a bit distressing and unreasonable for me in my countenance ..

I speak to him on this often , but he is adamant on his affection and just cannot stop these gestures 'in multiples'

I talk to him to be in control and not cause or give an unnecessary reason of disrespect .. but he just continues ..

So I accept .. and distribute them to the needy that spend their valuable time on a Sunday for the GOJ .. healthy and in all sincerity a show of immense affection !!

AND now for the Sunday and days .. :

... and the creative autograph hunters , their immense love to be in a photograph , but there are restrictions on health .. so we bear the loss of the occasion , walk away and sit and reminisce ...

Amitabh Bachchan

[velvetvexations]

I feel like a lot of the trans women saying that masculinity/manhood is always rewarded in everyone because patriarchy often forget that the opposite is true, actually, for people who are seen as women/put in the "woman" category.

Because yes, trans women are usually forced into manhood and "rewarded" for being men, and punished for being women. But that's not because manhood is universally rewarded in everyone, but because partriarchy sees having been born with a penis as "man".

It also sees being born with a vagina as "woman", and every deviation from that is *also* punished.

Yes, people who are seen as women/girls may have more freedom in expression of gender (depending on where they are from. I hate when ppl act like people afab everywhere can just dress like men without punishment. There are so many countries with laws on what "women" (and those treated as women because of their agab) can wear, and if anyone believes for one second that breaking these laws is REWARDED in any way, they're so fucking deep in their own head and need to talk to someone from these countries) but that freedom was fought for by feminists! Feminists have fought to be simply just allowed to wear pants. It's ridiculous to look at how it is now (in the western world) and make conclusions on that without looking at *why* it is that way now and how it was before.

And people are usually expected to grow out of their tomboy-"phase" by the time they reach their late teens, or early twenties at latest, and become a feminine woman, wife, and mother. If you don't do that, your masculinity gets punished.

And the masculinity of people afab is also only (begrudgingly) accepted (in SOME places in the world) as long as they're still visible as women or girls and their masculinity is hot and serves cishet men. As soon as they step "too far" out of these roles (by being non-binary or men, or being "ugly", fat, or anything that would make them "undesirable"), their masculinity gets punished. Horribly.

It's really infuriating when (trans)radfem trans women try to act like their experiences are universal and whenever someone says something that disagrees with them, they must be lying or "delusional" (yay, ableism! so progressive /s) for thinking that they were, in fact, punished for their masculinity or manhood...

Sorry for unloading this on you, didn't know where else to put it. And thank you so much for listening.

I think a major issue here is that no matter how much we try to reason things out and work through why they act the way they do, radical feminism, trans or cis, ultimately comes down, at some point, to a deliberate decision to prioritize egocentrism and their own desires over seeing other people as real, actual people - not even other transfems, who they just sexualize and try to control, or call a TERF if they can't. And it's hard to reason with that.

Like, they have to know on some level that they hyperinflate trans women in particular being "socially murdered"* to use as social capital and terrorize younger** transfems into isolating themselves. Maybe a very long time ago for some of them it came from the distress they felt from the legitimately immense danger transfems face in a variety of contexts, but they've shot far beyond that now and just don't really care. They've built a cage of unreality around themselves that makes me feel like I'm talking to aliens.

Like the other day, I was talking to one who insisted that the tee-em-ees will not show up for me. Like, I said they did, and she said they won't, and I was like, but they DO! They have! Always! I've seen it with my own eyes, directly for me specifically! But it was just "who hurt you," "let yourself be angry," "don't settle for just scraps," "they won't treat you better if you throw yourself at their feet," "social murder," and it's like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ARE YOU HAVING A STROKE? WAS THIS A DREAM YOU HAD?

And what about the deliberately cruel fuckery, the constant derision of the most petty things like forcemasc? What the fuck do they get out of wrongly asserting that women are never punished for masculinity and never have a problem with being viewed as masculine, like why are they doing that, what is their goal? Because it seems like it's literally just "mock and invalidate the sexual interests of others and deem it an inferior copy of our thing."

What do they get out of misgendering cis and trans men for forcefem funsies and telling them to suck it up? They don't really believe that their forcefem joke is the only thing that might make an egg crack. That's extremely obviously a lie. They're doing it because they want to, because it's their kink, because they don't care about the feelings of other people, and they can use transmisogyny as a convenient defense when people ask them to moderate literally any of their behavior for the comfort of everyone else to literally any extent while demanding everyone else shut up and defer to them on every single topic in every single situation.

And this stuff with D20 and Ophiuchus and the transmasc character being treated better? A lie. Just fully making it up. Inventing it. Fabricating it. For attention.

I've never had one acknowledge it when I've tried to explain that I first learned about all of this from transmasc friends bringing it to me so they could defer to my opinion.

They're determined to stay like this. It sucks.

*truly a phrase that makes me livid to even think about now, they reduce it to about the same level of seriousness as forcefem jokes, every single time it's so thoughtlessly hollow and self-obsessed but you could guess that from it being a fair description of every thought they externalize

**let me make this clear, I'm referring to young adults, I am not accusing anyone of being predatory towards minors nor am I saying the motivations are necessarily sexual anyway, although clearly transradfems don't care about the effect their hyperbole will have on the mental health of minors exposed to it and trained from a young age to never trust anyone, so underage transfems are very much a concern here, but not in the sense that they're being directly and personally abused in any way

[buddiewho]

"Now that the competition is out of the way"

I am going to yet again say that I have not fully caught up, so what I know of is spoilers and this post technically has nothing to do with the last two episodes…anyway, I am still hung up on "now that the competition is out of the way." Sure, Buck, could end up having grief sex with Tommy, but I'm honestly baffled at how there is any logic in pursuing a relationship again?? I am really trying, but I cannot come up with anything that makes sense. From a storytelling POV we have brought in the question, "in love with Eddie?" Are you? I mean that wouldn't be so bad…" or whatever Maddie had said. Why bring this up? Hell, I'd rather accept unrequited love on Buck's part as he pines after his straight best friend over Buck and Tommy pursuing a relationship again. What I mean to say, I think the episode in which Tommy came back and said the shit he said in Eddie's house- well that ruined my view on BuckTommy. We have a man who decided to instantly break up and say "I was the first, but not your last…" and now in the context of the information we've got, a lot of that stems from him thinking Eddie is competition. This also lends to an interpretation that Tommy has and that is not trusting in his partner?? So you see signs that maybe just maybe this little new bisexual has feelings for his best friend, but you cannot hold that over someone's head in a relationship even jokingly (you simply end it as that did happen, but then when you see them again you joke, but also get a little seriously huffy about it…) If I'm Buck waking up from a fun time with an ex, who I might consider trying again with, and so I ask, then he says the shit he does about me and my best friend I'd be like, well, that answers that.

Tommy would still feel insecure about our relationship for whatever reasons he has inside his head. I get it, I am now in the house he used to rent, sure there can be logical leaps, but at the end of the day all of what has been said by Tommy really just paints the picture of someone who has been insecure in this relationship the whole time and would still be even if they tried again. So on the other side of this, I can argue a deep deep denial on Buck's part…but right now I'm focused on why BuckTommy should not happen again.

What I would like to see when we come back, is Buck vehemently denying any attention from Tommy and for Buck to realize who he wants in this stage of immense grief: Eddie. He wants Eddie to comfort him. He wants his sister. I just want Buck to say it out loud, "I don't want your comfort. I get you're here in solidarity as a firefighter. Fine." Then he continues about his day, paying no attention to Tommy (and Eddie is also paying no attention to Tommy). Yeah okay, Bobby once said, "Tommy is good people." Yes, that could be true but simultaneously he said some shady shit, made assumptions and remained insecure about dating Buck. Personally, I could care less about Tommy's past with Abby, that wouldn't stop me if I wanted a relationship with the man, but what would stop me is all of the shit he has said since we broke up and saw each other again. Also, reminder that Eddie apparently full on ghosted Tommy after he broke it off with Buck, so there is that in Tommy's head too. After all, though, a few drinks and your ex is so damn hot…yeah, we're going to sleep together tonight. Feeling lonely and seeing an ex then also sleeping with ex is also something that can exist. I believe things can exist simultaneously, without cancelling out the other thing (but some things can CANCEL out the other thing). Buck and Tommy felt lonely. They know each other. There's still attraction so that shit happens.

Logically, I can wrap my mind around that, but it is the shit that was said the next morning and how that WOULD CANCEL OUT ANY CHANCE OF A REKINDLED ROMANCE.

For me, "Now, that the competition is out of the way," just puts the brakes on BuckTommy. It also distresses me to think you wasted so much time telling a story of them dating, for them to then break up, and then you send Eddie Texas (for valid reasons), but still you send that character to Texas while also putting Buck into the house Eddie once rented and then Tommy comes back and says the shit he says and out of that I'm supposed to believe a BuckTommy relationship could flourish?

It would be wasted story telling when you could have just kept them happily together and not overshadowed Eddie in the BuckTommy relationship. If Tommy is constantly thinking he will lose out to Eddie, then that is being insecure in the relationship. Also, Buck as we've seen would still remain in constant contact with Eddie, so what then? Tommy starts to resent the FaceTime calls, and starts to ask him to speak to Eddie less? You see how the show has from Tommy's POV made Eddie the problem competition?

Therefore, it would just be shitty of either Buck or Tommy to consider getting back together, now especially in the after math of a major character alleged death.