#for some reason i was convinced that everyone was like me and didnt care about children that much.

[ableedingpromise]

I can't relate to women who want a child at all. I don't even hate children, in fact i think they're very cute!! And i understand that it could be rewarding to help nurture another human being and help them grow.

But i still can't understand the need for one. Like I've never wanted a baby and never will. But it feels scary to know that I'll always be different from everyone around me. After twenty years everyone will be happy with their own families and I'll be alone :(

[wonjuii]

Hi, I do think exposing is childish but... I want to warn people. Ever since, like around 2024, august? I was invited to a groupchat, filled with people who posts on tumblr! some were ppl i didnt know about. And.. there is marie. I thought marie was a sweet person at first, didnt talk to her since i didnt know her that much. ever since the month grew, there's a chaos drama about dodo. (i am not bringing it up that much but it will be some information direct to that chaos)

it was around... october? I dont know but lets forget that! past 3 days, marie was being too dramatic, calling me and @awwriri sensitive. (just to tell you that, I can reclaim the slurs since i took an irl test but idk if its a thing since the doctor said "it was to check if i have autism" but it was positive i guess!) It was during the lil-liaa chaos. I didnt want to say the r slur to her but i ended up saying it since there were alot of things happening. As you can tell, i asked permission to say the slur, I was worried if i am really meant to say the slur in the gc. (please anyone dont get uncomfortable!) all of the sudden, she called me insensitive..? I didn't know asking permission is considered impolite or insensitve.. we all had a small talk with marie. everything went a little okay (I assumed.) there are evidences of our small talk.

I apologised... many times. MANY TIMES. "don't be sorry" i will have to be sorry because you bashed on me and riri bc of the slur now the whole server bc of dodo?? U can't be that serious. I also mentioned that everyone deserve to be forgiven! guess marie cant accept that. I thought riri was the owner of the gc, of course i had to ask her permission but no. she wasnt the owner. i was dumb enough to not check who's really the admin of the gc. When we had a small conversation about slurs, she mentioned she cant reclaim the N WORD bc others used it?... Although she used it when she just said it TWICE. (ITS NOT A RACISM SLUR, SHES AFRICAN)

i was just trying to make a conversation, setting up a new type of topic since i got really annoyed and uncomfortable, talking about slurs. But, she continued, wouldnt even stop ending the conversation about it. I even try to convince her to bring riri back to the gc since we all wanted to see how she is.

.... okay. do u like.. hate riri or something? The fact she argued with riri, MAYBE ALMOST EVERY WEEK. MAYBE EVERY DAY. its just disgusting how shes treating the others like shes the oldest of the gc. (she tried to boss me, telling me not to say the slurs bc im insensitve) just so you know, vivi educated me more about slurs so i am not going to say it. (thank you vivi)

The text may not be necessary, but can't you tell how bad she is? if your assuming its bc her education system or shes young, i was 13, i rarely got into fights. (like twice a year.) most likely, she's to cause tons of fights. my screenshots:

(Please press to read, it might be hard for you to see!)

This is a dodo situation. you may not know why dodo didn't explain why she didn't say anything or mention her reason about ignoring to chei. here it is.

basically, she was moody (mood swings i think) I understood dodo, i have frustration issues so i get really annoyed like almost everyday. just to clarify, were not bashing on chei, this is just to show evidence about marie and things she said! more evidence when she started being rude to me... (i didnt clip that part but others may have seen it, she said something like "no, i dont want to ❤️" something like that)

shes basically thinking we dont care...

(im at the corner at the top, replying to her.) You can tell i apologised to her like many times. shes basically saying dodo doesnt deserve to defend herself because shes a bully..? do you realize what ur doing. its childish.

evidence from dodo about marie talking about dodo in her post!

i cant. this is just annoying me so bad. why is she only asking me to block her ??? im so confused. (AGAIN, please press these evidences to read!)

wow.. i just dont get whats her problem with dodo, me and riri atp?..

sigh. marie tsk tsk.. i just cant believe this. i assumed she was going to expose me but i guess not?.... also another information.. me and vini were just trying to calm her down but she started bashing on her too.

Thank you to anyone to might be reading this. Again, exposing seems childish but its the best way to do it. its for others to be warned, incase! tags : @y-unrei @n-americano @i-mmaculatus @sugarish

@miujo @i-kyujin @aestradairio @awwriri @atsubie

@aeraras @rkivefr @daddldee @p-oisn @kissunoo

@florescita @fairytopea @purinkiss @hourlyhoon

@lvioung @obdosant @tzulipss @j-eongs @yeritos

@yonkiibums @hcvenue @bitchey @babyvoxgirlie

@swhore @bloomqi @kiyeuo @chaeryeos @y-vna

@y-urios @aestradairio @aesverse

god all of that tags is MAD!!!

[roseworth]

Can you expand more on the types of the things Dick fans say or do that make you dislike his character?

(context)

the thing about dick grayson is that he is an extremely popular character but the way some people talk about him you would think that hes an unappreciated side character. i think that there are certain fans that need to remember that he has been consistently showing up in comics for 80 years so if hes out of character or left out in one book it shouldnt matter. like im sorry for your loss maybe you can wipe your tears with one of his other 10000 appearances

i feel like any time dick is slightly out of character in a book i see people writing paragraphs about what was wrong with his characterization no matter what the book is. if hes a side character in a book someone will be there to say "um☝️ this is out of character because dick didnt save everyone??? 🤨 why did the main character get the focus instead of dick 🫤" like!!! not everythings about him!!!! and a lot of his fans love that hes an extremely skilled fighter (and im not disagreeing with that!! he definitely is) but because of that they get upset whenever he loses a fight no matter what. even though sometimes to tell a story you need the character to lose sometimes. and i know that a lot of that is because people need to feel the need to defend him after t*m t*ylor wrote him like he was incompetent. but i stg its every time he gets hit someone says "actually this wouldnt happen and this is out of character"

also i feel like people shit on jason and tim fans all the time for stealing traits from female characters and projecting them onto their fav batboy (rightfully so!!) but then i constantlyyyy hear about dick's Eldest Daughter Syndrome and how he represents the female experience or whatever. like i dont have an issue with that on its own, and i think a lot of the people who i see say he has eldest daughter syndrome are people who also talk about women so i dont mind it as much, but there are Other people who basically talk about dick like hes a female character while ignoring the actual women in his stories

speaking of treating him like a female character. im so tired of people saying that the ass jokes are problematic. like dont get me wrong! theyre annoying and unfunny and i dont like them! but some people are convinced that theyre terrible because they objectify him and sexualize him for no reason and etc etc. and the argument i hear over and over is "can you imagine how terrible it would be if they did this to a woman!" like. yeah actually. i dont have to imagine. theyre doing it right now unironically. i think this fictional man will survive if hes drawn with a fat ass sometimes. its not a good thing but there are some people that blow it way out of proportion because "omg why would they do that to him 😨" like i really cannot bring myself to care even a little

plus a lot of his fans will act like hes special in some way in terms of fighting ability or intelligence. and again i do know that he is a great fighter and is very smart!! but hes definitely falling into the same issue that a lot of batman fans have in the sense that they think hes The Greatest To Ever Do It and other characters get put down so dick can be better. so people want to believe that dick can beat anyone in a fight and always wins with prep time. plus there are people that think of him as the perfect character for any situation so there are dick fans going "if dick was there during the utrh confrontation everything wouldve worked out fine 🤗" and "dick actually wouldve killed any character who hurt his friends" and anything like that. because a lot of his fans just want to insist that he is bruce but without all the parts they dont like. toxic nightwing fans are so similar to toxic batman fans but its worse because they dont even think he can have flaws. at least batman fans know he sucks and hates everyone, but nightwing fans say all the great things batman fans say but without any of the issues

anyways. but i think most of the reason that he bothers me has nothing to do with his fans and a lot more to do with dc. just because i really dont care about him. so many comic readers love him so dc will obv appeal to the people that love him. which means that those of us who dont really care about him have to hear about him in every book. like hes just some guy why is he being treated like the most important guy in the world during dark crisis and absolute power. and i have to hear about how hes the heart of the dcu or the glue of the batfamily or whatever else they've said about him. i dont care!!!! at least when its batman being treated like dc's specialest princess all the other characters hate him. since dc thinks that all the readers love him they make it so all the characters love him. and i just dont care about him. im tired of them shaking him in my face and going "its nightwing!!! we all love nightwing!!!! hes the best!!!!!!" i want that twink obliterated

[viaviv124]

Bullfrog Character Study and why i feel so bad for him

Did you notice that Bullfrog does not cry at all until his execution? Not when Jade died, not when Pey'j died and, to our knowledge, not while he was in jail.

When Bullfrog talked with Rayman and mentioned Pey'j's death he sounded so bitter. Yeah he probably said it to hold a mirror in front of Rayman but also i feel like at first he didn't intent to say this, that this just slipped out and he then decided to roll with it. I do not know much about Assassins Creed but i do know that he had to embody the Brotherhood's ideology of freedom, peace and equality. To my knowledge to "peace and freedom" also counts "free of vengance/hatred/bitterness" and so on because these feelings do not make you free, hence why Bullfrog tried to stop both Dolph and Pey'j from acting in vengance (allthough with Pey'j it also was so the Warden doesn't detonate the bomb). And espacially because of the survivors guilt Bullfrog thinks he has to be the perfect assassin.

However, Assassins are just people too. People are flawed and cannot follow this perfectly. And Bullfrog was incredibly bitter. Probably not just bitter too, one can just imagine what he felt. He lost everything he cared about again. He failed again. Not to mention, i doubt he ever allowed himself to grief. And i feel like feeling that horde of emotions also lead to self loathing to a degree.

Bullfrog is supposed to embody the Brotherhood's ideology, hell, the entire brotherhood considering he's, to his and our knowledge, the only one left. He's not supposed to feel everything he's feeling right now, yet he does and it eats him up. The survivors guilt forces him to perfectionism. If he can't be the perfect assassin, then what is he? To him he's failing his ancestors and brothers, his fallen comrades, the ones he's fighting for, everyone.

And despite all of that he never once allowed himself to cry.

Except when he was convinced he was going to die.

Bullfrog cried during his final words as he apologized to Dolph for failing him. And i can promise you these tears weren't just because of the apology, no, in these few tears was at least a bit of everything that happend. Because he didn't have to stay strong anymore. He thought that's it. This is where he and the brotherhood will die. And he probably felt two main emotions in that moment. Hopelessness and relief. Hopelessness for very obvious reasons i doubt i need to elaborate, but relief? He didnt have that burden anymore. He thought he was going to die so that weight he's been carrying for who-knows how long would be off his shoulders. It's a very small price, but at least it's something.

Everything i've said so far is why a certain comic by @pitafish hits so hard to me. I won't show it here because i didn't ask for permission, but basically what happend is that Bullfrog and Ramon were lying in bed and Bullfrog had a breakdown so Ramon sang to him and hugged him to soothe and comfort him.

[Edit] i just got permission to link the comic so here you go

Bullfrog let himself cry. He let himself be vulnerable. He lets himself be an individual with his own thoughts and feelings instead of an extension/personification of the brotherhood. And most impressively, he did that in front of someone else. He let someone else soothe him, hold him, take the place of comfort he himself always took for others.

And that's what makes it hit so hard.

In conclusion, Bullfrog deserves a hug, a blankie, hot chocolate, to bawl his eyes out and some well-deserved rest.

[hijackalx]

GORTASH NSFW ALPHABET

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

hmm honestly feel like it depends on if hes feeling u or not. if he was just trying to catch a nut hes rude af. like before he leaves he'll throw a wet rag at u. and he used cold water to get it wet 🥲 BUTTTT if he really does like u i think he'll prolly run a bath for u both or something. i can see him washing ur hair/body for u 🥺

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

his chest duhhh lol thats why he walks around with his titties out. i think hes got a really good upper body in general. like shoulders/arms/chest. and i feel like hes an ass man. yes that means all booties ALL. he likes to spank, bite, and leave marks all over it. omggg the type to smack or pinch ur ass in public LMAO

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

yall already know im a firm believer that this man cums bucketfuls. he'll have u sitting there like "damn why is it still going" LMFAO almost exclusively wants to cum inside. to the point to where its hard to convince him not to. he wants to breed u sooo bad 😭😭

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

*NONCON MENTION* it gets him concerningly hard when u tell him no but let him do it anyway. like i dont think he would ever AGGRESSIVELY force u to do anything hence the "let him", but something about being able to change ur mind/overpower u does something to him *NONCON MENTION OVER*

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

well. i think hes an expert when it comes to pleasing himself (which is typically thru penetration, so for my AFABs if yall can finish vaginally just know he do be laying pipe 🤤) but he didnt really grow up caring about his sexual partners much lol. i do think he wants to please you though, like badly. thats the only reason hes willing to let u offer some guidance when it comes to giving oral/fingering u.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

mating press yall. like when he hooks ur legs over his shoulders and basically folds u like a lawn chair lol. also likes doggy though so he can pull ur hair and leave welts on ur ass lol.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

hes wayyyy too intense to be goofy at any moment while u guys are fuckin LMAO. like this man loves sex and gives his ALL. he puts his mf game face on and locks IN baby 😹😹

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

YESSSSSS !!!!! YES !!!!! this man is SO hairy EVERYWHERE !!!! the same texture as the hair on his head. im about to faint yall catch me

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

uhh. i can see him being kind of romantic on special occasions. but like i said hes pretty intense usually and to me that doesnt leave much room for romance lol. especially since he can be so mean too

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

yeah. like all the time. hes a hornball so if ur not around as an alternative he WILL be jizzing into his hand. omfg if yall are like, ever distanced from each other he will want to send nasty ass letters back and forth to keep him satisfied until u get back LMAO god forbid they ever end up at the wrong place

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

his office. will fuck on every surface and up against every wall. everyone else is afraid to touch anything in there 😭

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

he likes when u seem weaker than him, either in the sense that he has a physical or mental advantage over u. dont let anyone else treat u like that tho or he'll think ur a pussy lol

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

^^ as i mentioned letting other ppl have the same power over u as he does is a turn off. so if ur like me u got to grow a backbone or get the boot 🥾🤾‍♀️ 😭😭  anyway. i dont think he'll be willing to do anything that makes him feel "lesser" or more submissive. i mean u could probably trick him into doing it if u make him think its his idea or something LMAO

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

i genuinely think he eventually gains an affinity for giving ??? he likes the sounds u make and the way u pull his hair. so yeah, gives lots of kisses and will mutter a lot of praises while down there too. dont get me wrong though u better be giving back too 😹😹

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

rough as fuckkkk bro. doesnt ever like to be gentle. sex just brings out a lot of aggression in him. u will be sore and bruised after. if u convince him to chill out he'll be a pouty baby about it

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

anywhere and everywhere possible. i dont think its a goal of his to be seen by others while doing it but i also dont think he cares so that doesnt really stop him

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he'll try to get u to do all kinds of fucked up shit. including shit that is probably lowkey dangerous 😹😹 hes pretty sadistic so get ready gurl

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

15-20 mins max shawty lmao sorry 😹😹 and since he wants to act like a wild ape ur prolly not getting a round 2 since he wore himself out. but if u didnt get off in time he'll use his hand to help u finish even if hes sleepy 😴

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

will tease u at random times throughout the day by saying some absolutely horrendous shit in ur ear while ur in public and then acting like nothing happened. but usually doesnt want to waste much time before the act, so he might tease just enough to get u ready. nothing more though

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

heavy grunter and breather. will only moan occasionally if its really hitting right 😹😹 if u do get him to moan i can see it being decently loud. its like a reward

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

very high libido man........ prepare ur hole 🪦

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

sometimes he can stay awake long enough for aftercare but other times itll have to come after a power nap 😭 youll be like "bae how was it" and turn around to see him completely unconscious. snoring and everythang

[telugu-girl-13]

so...i just watched wicked! here's my review, with the goods and the bads. these are more or less in order. major spoilers for wicked below!!

disclaimer: i watched and am talking about this movie as a person who has not watched the plays or any content related to wicked before, and just knows the story of the wizard of oz. i didn't even know the wicked witch of the west's name was elphaba before this movie came out (it's never generally mentioned okay 😭) so that is how clueless i am. however, im kinda glad about that, because otherwise much of the plot might have been somewhat anticlimatic.

additionally, i am a naturally cynical person and even if i love something, i feel the need to point out all its flaws, so bear with me!

below the cut! bullet points because i felt like it

wicked was an overall amazing movie and experience, ariana and cynthia were outstanding, and i absolutely cannot wait for the second movie!

the introduction with the munchkins celebrating elphaba's death had me expecting her to die throughout the whole movie, i was almost certain there would be tears. BUT IM SOO GLAD SHE DIDNT!

elphaba being the child of a secret alcoholic affair was NOT expected, nor did i expect that to be shown. (plus it escalated so fast) random, but i had to say it 😭 and im sorta glad her moms not alive anymore

at first, i expected nessarose to be that one person in elphaba's childhood, i was actually really surprised when she wasn't. still, an interesting character who needs more recognition!

the fact that the movie was directed by an asian director has me so happy, because i also saw a lot of representation in the background cast! different skin colors, body types, hair colors (GINGER REPRESENTATION LMFAO), we got them all! and i was SUPER happy about that!

one of my new favorite quotes is 'well, bock, i believe strangers...are just people i've never met *hair flip walks off*'. like GALINDA HELP 😭😭🙏🏽🙏🏽 whyd i actually expect that to be some sort of inspirational quote loll

is there a reason why all the male extras were so zesty? like i swear, ALL OF THEM WERE GAY FOR FIYERO (and fiyero was flirting back). ESPECIALLY THAT ONE ASIAN DUDE WHO BECAME FRIENDS WITH GALINDA IN THE BEGINNING, his lines had me rolling lmfao

not the popular boy x popular girl until popular boy actually falls for the nerd girl trope...whyyy...also fiyero lowkey gave flynn rider vibes with that entrance (but i havent watched tangled either cuz i dont have a life or a disney account sooo)

madame morrible using elphaba, and the wizard being powerless? that was not expected ( though my dad anticipated madame morrible being 'evil' from the beginning, hes smarter than me )

someone would say 'save the turtles!' to elphaba and she'd be like oF cOuRsE and be so confused why everyones laughing 😭

"we're...friends. best friends" babes your lesbian i need them to both ditch fiyero and get together

defying gravity is HANDS DOWN my favorite song. NO ONE can convince me otherwise. its the most dramatic song, its at the very climax, and ITS MEEEE will always be playing in my head

SO IF YOU CARE TO FINDDDD MEEE LOOOK TO THE WESTERN SKIEEEES

fuck glinda and elphaba themes (unless someone wants to match freaks with me) A SHIZ THEMED 300 FOLLOWER EVENT (thats never happening forget i said that)

i need to see how glinda became the good witch and see elphaba saving the turtles animals cant wait for the next movieeee

anyway, thats it gbye! (ill probably edit this if i remember more stuff)

ps. i am extremely sorry to the people sitting near me in the theater who probably had to hear me sing a few times :P

[wildfyrevalkyrie]

heads up: this post is about the wrap-up quest chain for completing all the dawntrail role quests that just came out. heavy spoilers below

(the non spoiler summary is imo this quest chain was well-written and i want to dissect it)

okay so actually this post is a scatterbrained apyaahi analysis and appreciation post bc she kills it.

she’s iconic, she’s charismatic, and she’s a self-indulgent hedonist.

she’s costumes herself in activist causes but doesn’t actually care about them.

she has enough conviction in her beliefs that she recognizes the wol on-sight (bc yeah obviously) and uses the opportunity to make a genuine appeal to her cause.

and she’s convincing.

especially in her scene prior to her arrest, she mentions several societal ills that we’ve seen first-hand: ie uldahn merchants crushing the poor, the gridania racism issue towards duskwright and keeper of the moon (you can make an argument that this is actually just xenophobia, but that doesnt dismiss the issue), and, despite what i said earlier, i think on the surface she genuinely believes these are issues and genuinely believes that if everyone was “free” they would go away. but i dont think she really cares about the people who are oppressed, just how dissolving the societies will increase her own “freedom”

tepeke remarks in some optional dialogue about how “freedom that hurts others isnt freedom at all” and i almost wish something approaching this had come up in a discussion with her because yes!!! exactly!! that’s what makes her a villain!! girlie was in the middle of springing a bunch of mold monsters in a crowded major city in an attempt to overthrow the government. she didnt care that her lackeys were trying to start a war or poison la noscea’s water supply, because they were being “free”. hedonism trumps all, even other lives.

its kinda like a funhouse mirror of the start of arr, down to the dialogue choices you have when asked “why do you want to topple the nations of the world” being the exact same as when brennan asks you “why do you want to be an adventurer”. (sidenote: her calling the wol a lapdog gave me flashbacks to the “weapon of light” era of arr. dont know if that was intentional or a side-effect of me recently thinking abt arr for unrelated reasons)

i think my favorite part abt apyaahi is that she has the potential to evolve into a genuine activist. she’s already really close—she’s relatively well-versed on activist issues the world over, she’s good at rallying people to her support, she’s willing to labor for her causes while also understanding how to delegate responsibilities. she just needs that push to start caring about the consequences her actions will have on other people.

[nerves-nebula]

Hello! Im the asker about ur neglected turtles voices! Love the analysis about my ask lmao, if it helps explain anything ive been following for a minute but yeah, never extensively went thru ur blog lol

I mostly assumed 2012 bc their dynamics remind me a bit more of that generation than the others minus leo (rottmnt), which i was going to mention but then didnt want to over complicate the question lmao

Thank u for answering tho! Cant wait to see more ^^

i love when i'm right. thank u for coming back XOXO <3

i've heard a few people say that they thought mine was inspired by 2012 for that reason which (if i may wade into a simmering fandom war for a moment) is kind of a point towards the "2012 is abusive/dysfunctional" people since my guys are actually based mostly on my family + other stories of abuse i've heard & read about.

like if you see an intentionally fucked up set of dynamics and go "wow kinda like 2012" then idk man. kinda hard to come back from that.

anyway here's more 2012 abuse ranting shit but keep in mind that i havent watched most of 2012 and i am not being super serious here ok. don't ATTACK AND KILL me or w/e its notttt that important

the funny thing is that I never originally cared about the whole is 2012 abusive argument because the clear answer to me was "it probably wasnt intended to be, since this kind of writing where everyone is mean to each other was basically The Way a lot of kids shows were written back then, but it can definitely come off that way, especially to people sensitive to shitty family lives and who see something familiar in the way these characters interact"

and that's basically still my stance (if you can really have a hard stance on something so unimportant)

but then I kept seeing arguments against 2012 being abusive. and they were so poorly thought out and unconvincing and just BAD that they actually made me more convinced it was abusive. cuz before i didn't think about it much and i kind of just took as it, like, well this is slapstick comedy so that's the slapstick. whatever. I was mostly focused on the doylist explanation for things because it gets more complicated if you look at it in a watsonian way. But not really complicated in a fun way tbh.

it would be so easy to just say "I don't really read it as abusive personally" but some ppl gotta come out with "see they CANT be abusive because they LIKE EACH OTHER sometimes" or the INFAMOUS "thats just how siblings act lmao these idiots have never had siblings before" and its like. that's so stupid that i'm now going to read it as abuse out of spite.

tho i'm sure there were also people insisting it 100% HAD to be abusive and if you didnt read it that way you were INVALIDATING ABUSE VICTIMS. since fandom-wide arguments tend to be started by a handful of people who cant just leave shit alone heff. i wonder how its going over there rn. i dont really keep up with fandom stuff. do people still argue about this? whatever

[pillarsalt]

hey sorry for venting randomly in your inbox... sooo i dont usually think too hard about my radfem views anymore since i fully peaked but tonight i cried thinking about my friends. i finally thought hard about how they will never fully know the real me. i have to hide myself and my views from everyone because they are ALL gender brainrotted and homophobic. i used to love them so much and i still do in a way but every time we have a conversation they always bring up trans topics for no reason and it's obvious they're constantly trying to convince themselves of the ideology. the thing that hurts the most is when they tell me, "we will always love and support you no matter who you are" lmao! hilarious. or it would be if i didnt care so much about them but instead it's insanely heartbreaking. i don't trust any of them anymore and i know i should leave but funny thing is i am living with a couple of them and i don't want to live alone. especially since moving out right now (impending trump presidency!! 🦅) sounds stressful. i'm just hoping one day i can get out and start again without causing a scene. just slip away into nothing without a word. but that's not going to happen for a while.

I'm sorry you're in that position, I understand how you feel. Especially the bitterness of the hypocrisy when they act like they're the open minded ones, even when you're who the one who has to self censor in order for them to not freak out.

I completely relate to "they will never fully know the real me" and I have had that grief too. One piece of advice I can give you is to keep the lines of communication open on your end. If you give any indication of your dissent before you leave them, they'll remember it, if and when they themselves snap out of this ideological bubble they're in, and they'll know you're someone safe to talk about it. You said "it's obvious they're constantly trying to convince themselves of the ideology" -- this is a symptom of cognitive dissonance, and for quite a lot of people, this is the point they realize they can no longer deny reality. There's a chance some or all of your current friends could come out of it, but it might take a long time. A lot of the time, when someone changes their mind about a contentious subject, they're embarrassed to talk to people they asserted that incorrect opinion to before. So if you're keeping those bridges open, there's a bigger chance to open that friendship again someday. You're not obligated to do so, but...

I know a lotttt of people are starting to question the rhetoric, it seems to be rising to a crescendo where people are realizing en masse that having your thoughts and speech controlled is not fair or beneficial. People are realizing the sexist and scientifically weak foundation this ideology stands on. I think, while vehement trans activists might fight until their last breath about it, the world is going to get a lot more moderate and realistic on this issue, and soon.

So if anything, in my opinion, have hope. Even if your old friends stay attached to this sinking ship, you're going to undoubtedly find some new ones who you can be yourself around. It's hard to say goodbye, but sometimes it's all you can do. Your thoughts are worth hearing and shouldn't be pushed down to please others; I hope soon you're able to get away and feel able to express yourself.

[fefairys]

I just read up to the breakup with Meenah and Vriska and fuck, i really dislike that whole situation. Got any thoughts you wanna ramble about regarding that?

OKAY I FINALLY GOT HERE IN MY REREAD.

god yes everything involving meenah and (vriska) and the vriska (vriska) confrontation is extremely fascinating to me. mostly because i resonate with a lot of it so hard it hurts. long ass post below. i got very personal lol what can i say. i vriska.

(vriska) goes into people-pleasing mode when she and meenah are alone. it actually reminds me of how she would sometimes act with kanaya. the vulnerability, mainly. but like. its a little different. with kanaya it was more like 'youre the only bitch around here i respect, but im still better than everyone else. i want you to like me but i dont NEED you to! (<-lie)' but with meenah its like 'you are the only person i have and so i have to be good for you so you dont leave me.'

she backs down super easily with meenah. sometimes she does argue for herself, but ultimately she always ends up deferring to meenah. she wants to agree with everything she says. wants her to like her:

^ she doesnt want to say the carnival looks fun until she's gotten meenah's approval. she has to be cool for meenah.

her suggestion gets shot down and she immediately sides with meenah. oh yeah i didnt want to do that anyway in fact i hate horses!

it's tricky, because of some of it seems like actual Character Development, and her getting over some shit. and i definitely think these thinks dont have to be mutually exclusive. she can be realizing things about herself and moving on from them while at the same time falling into habits that are equally unhealthy for a person.

she realizes she used to care way too much about stuff and tries to counter it by not caring at all. she realizes she used to push people around to much and counters it by becoming a pushover herself. this is sickeningly relatable to me.

the scene where meenah convinces her to get a tattoo is a good example of this.

she realizes that a long-held opinion she had is actually kind of bullshit, and that she cared way too much about it for no reason. good job, vriska!

but then she pretty much leaves the actual decision of it up to meenah! she asks meenah to tell her what to do instead of thinking for herself. she justifies it by agreeing that she loves pirate stuff anyway! shes trying to make up for a lifetime of bossing people around by asking someone else to boss her around. and she convinces herself that this is making her happy! and i mean it definitely is, in a way. it feels good to feel liked by someone. to have the approval of someone you look up to. it is making her happy. but is that... good for her? i dont know! it doesn't feel good to me.

this stuff is hitting me extremely close to home on this reread because i like JUST came upon the revolution that i kinda did this? not to this extreme polarity, but it still resonates.

i was (kind of am still, it's in my nature) a very bossy and controlling person, and i lost an entire circle of friends because they were rightfully tired of me telling them what to do and being so self-righteous all the time. so when trying to make new friends after that, i turned on people-pleaser mode. and i'm kind of still stuck there and trying to strike a balance between being a doormat people-pleaser and being a huge bitch that wants everyone to behave how *i* want them to. it is a hard balance to strike. its hard knowing when i should stand up and say something and when i should let something go, so most often i let things go. and OFTENTIMES i live to regret it. "i should have said something" is something i've been finding myself thinking A LOT in recent months...

and its tricky, because it feels good when people i respect say they approve of me. i feel happy that someone likes me. but sometimes that has come at the cost of sacrificing parts of myself. and it can feel good in the moment, to feel connected to someone like that, but then one day you wake up full of dread because you dont know who the fuck you are anymore. (vriska) didn't really ever get to that point, or, she never voiced it. vriska points out that shes become an entirely different person, but she does it in a way that uhhh fucking sucks lol! and is not helpful, because vriska's not exactly doing great, herself! she shows off her hypocrisy DELICIOUSLY in this scene.

she calls (vriska) selfish for.... being dead, essentially. and she justifies all her own selfish actions with it being "for the greater good," just as she always has. this is par for the course with vriska

^ i looooove this part right here where she sidesteps the fact that she did in fact plan to go fight jack but john punched her in the face to stop her. "different shit happened!" (i actually made the exact same decisions as you, but an outside force changed things and now i feel superior to you because i got a serendipitous opportunity that you didnt)

this whole conversation hits hard with me. it literally sounds similar to conversations ive had with myself! it's hard to not want to side with (vriska) i mean she does feel like the more reasonable one in this conversation and has had more time to think and reflect on herself, and vriska is being a fucking asshole about it, but like, i don't think either of them is exactly Right?

like, vriska has a bit of a point that (vriska) doesnt seem to notice that she's gone people-pleaser mode. but (vriska) thinks this is what happiness is. she despises her old self who was obsessed with inserting herself into everything and feeling the need to be The Best and prove herself as such, to catastrophic outcomes. so of course she wants to separate herself from that as much as possible and strive to become the opposite of it. someone who doesnt care about shit, and who lets other people make decisions for her instead of her making the decisions for everyone against their will. i think (vriska) was on the right track, but just couldn't really... Get There without the right support. and meenah was definitely not the right support.

but anyways like. vriska yelling at (vriska) at how disgusted she is with her is so sickeningly similar to me, looking back and realizing that i used to like.. stand up for myself more. if someone said some shit i didnt like i TOLD them i had a problem. i didn't let people push me around. and i think god, what happened to me? i became a weak loser that bends to peoples idea of what i should be instead of being myself. am i really happy?

but its not like i was better off before, either. vriska still isn't right. yeah i didnt let people boss me around, because i bossed THEM around. when i told people i had a problem with them i was MEAN about it. i said rude shit unnecessarily. i made everything about me and didn't care about what other people thought.

my past self and my "current" self (maybe like, my 'a few months ago self' i like to think im working through it but im still having trouble lol) are disgusted with each other. im disgusted that i used to straight up bully people all the time, and past me is disgusted that i seemed to have stopped having convictions, that i let other people decide who i should be, etc.

neither of them are really happy, but (vriska) sure seems a lot kinder, at least. she's made progress, but in a way that benefits other people more than it does herself.

also i love vriska saying "what happened to not letting shit get to you because you always knew you were better than the one slinging it" that is such utter bullshit. she is ALWAYS letting stuff get to her. all of her god damn actions are because she lets stuff get to her. everything she does is to prove herself. the cycle of revenge shit?? yeah totally didn't let it get to you. thats why you killed aradia and blinded terezi. because you were just so totally better than them and not letting it get to you. this stuff:

yeah. letting it roll off your back. lol

anyways back to meenah and (vriska)

meenah recognizes this vulnerability in (vriska) and it scares her. she does the whole "im abandoning you... for your own good..." thing, which... sucks! as you said, this whole situation just fucken sucks, man.

(vriska) basically admits that at this point, without meenah, she's lost. she let meenah mold her into what she wanted, and to lose her would be to lose herself.

but i mean i don't think there was another way this could've gone. (vriska) was essentially meenah's rebound after aranea (and vriska is her rebound after (vriska) lol) and it's just.. ALL bad. its just... everyone here has such deep personal issues that they cant help but let effect each other, yknow? meenah realizes that her issues are effecting (vriska) and thinks that removing herself from the situation is best. maybe it is? it turns out okay for (vriska) in the end, at least. as "okay" as she can possibly get, i guess.

i don't know. there's a lot here! it all just hurts and sucks. teens, man. how it is.

this is just my (very personal, frankly) interpretation of the events, idk. i think i said a lot here without actually saying anything all that substantial, as i feel like i tend to do. i just resonate with vriska really hard, what and you gave me an opportunity to ramble about it lol

[theshiftingwitch]

heyy wsp, (slight tw)

I have been trying to shift for around 4 years now, but have been taking breaks because I had heavy mental problems. I tried to shift there too, but yk, not really motivated. Tho I didnt care abt my cr, what was like "letting go" of it, I assume?, it didnt work out for me. I truly believe in shifting, I mean why would so many people lie? And look at the universe there are fcking black holes with no explanation, and astral projecting is proven too (or atleast many believe in it and experienced it) so why not shifting? Now, I feel motivated to shift, but I cant ignore the 3d like I used to. I always hear something and I KNOW its from my cr, because in my dr its complete silence. I cant seem to convince my subconcious mind to believe that I AM able to shift. I know I am standing in my way, but how not to? I mean, yeah everyone is able to shift but all i ever was able to do is get close. I know, thats much in a way, but I never woke up in my dr, no matter how much I "hated" my cr. My logical side is always saying in the back of my head "girl, not today." no matter how hard I try, I always end up here. Tho once i shifted to a paralel reality, its never a completely diffrent one, yk? I truly do not want to be here anymore, I DO want to shift, I DO want to be in my dr. I DO want things to change. But idk whats stopping me. Even when I didnt give a single fck abt this cr, I still was "stuck". No matter how often I say "I have already shifted" my thoughts just drift off and I am just soo exhausted. I just wanna experience it, even if its just a one time thing. I know I can return at any time, so I dont think I am scared. And if its gonna happen anyway, how can I be scared of shifting or success in general? Do my mental problems stop me or smth? Because if so, I cant wait till they are fixed gah damn. I know I can do it, I know I AM able to shift, I mean I aint nothing special, why would I be the ONLY one not beeing able to shift?? But, how do I make my Subconcous believe in myself?

Sorry for ranting, I am just so confused and I hope you got some ideas?

Thanks in advance <3

Nothing is stopping you from shifting. You are not stuck here, your mental problems are not keeping you from shifting, you don't need to convince your brain or your subconscious of anything, you can and you will shift.

If I may, I want to suggest a little modification to your methods. It is common knowledge in the law of assumption community that you do not need a method to shift, so sitting down closing your eyes and doing whatever method you can think of to try and shift is not necessary, but if it's something that helps you, by all means feel free to continue doing it. However here's my suggestion, if you are trying sleep methods, you are too focused on what's happening before you fall asleep when you should be focusing on just falling asleep. It is called a sleeping method for a reason, you are supposed to fall asleep and then you wake up in your desired reality, whatever happens before is not a problem. You're hearing sounds and you cannot focus on visualizing your Dr? Not a problem. You're too anxious and too stressed? Not a problem. You can't stop your mind from overthinking? Not a problem. All you need to do is fall asleep. Affirm that you're going to wake up in your reality and hold the intention that you are shifting. And when you wake up you will open your eyes in your desired reality. That is how sleeping methods work.

Awake methods are the ones that usually call for more focus, it's like meditation where you need to visualize and focus on your desired reality until you feel the shift. Sleeping methods are just as their name suggests, you will need to fall asleep and then you will shift.

So give yourself a break, stop worrying about how long it's going to take and how long it already took, stop worrying about every single block you think is standing in your way to shifting. Give yourself some Grace, appreciate all the effort you have already put into this journey, release the worry and the paranoia and the desperation, and rest in the knowledge that you are shifting no matter what.

Happy Shifting ❤️

[ganondoodle]

just to note this, as much as i love botw, i am not uncritical of it, like while i personally like the weapon breaking and rain mechanics everyone else seemed to hate i do agree that the bosses and dungeons were kinda repetetive and there could have been more bigger sidequests, some more diverse epic music tracks also wouldnt have hurt tho i fully disagree with anyone trying to claim it didnt HAVE music, im convinced those people played it with sound off bc wth (edit. plus the unfortunately still orientalist design of the gerudo plus that belly dancer outfit for link ... that thankfully got removed in totk as far as i know but the rest still stands)

personal criticism id have that i would have prefered zelda never gaining her sacred powers but instead finding a different way to fight back, bc her gaining them like that kinda made rhoams abuse .. right, like turns out to activate her powers you need to literall kill everyone she cares about (at least thats why i feel a bit meh about that), her maybe not being as sidelined like that (tho youd have to change alot for that .. which totk had the perfect chance to and then kinda did it again but worse lol) and the yiga clan being less of one little side mission

(also way too many people kept hating on botw for the same few reasons, often without giving it a chance, i think we all heard all the endless complaints about usually little things so i dont need to retread all of that)

alot of those little criticism things got adressed in totk, which i LIKED, but overall its so much less in harmony, this should have been a game about rebuilding and recovering about working together and then zelda gets immediately booted off and we get introduced to characters we never learn enough of to really care and yet they still take away the mystery botw had left us for the world to feel more alive, they ripped out parts that were so internally organically connected to the world and pretended they never mattered nor existed, characters act off and i cant help but feel like the main 'plot' is, as much as i hate to use that comparison, a badly written fanfiction ... it builds on nothing and just leaves you .. or me at least feeling empty, like i am playing through a mockery of the game i loved ... like all the fun i had thinking about the things in botw, the theories you could come up with was all wasted time

i honestly cant describe it better than totk, despite the little QoL changes, and the changes i DID like, it just feels ... empty? not in a literal way but more ... mentally? it feels so shallow? like at multiple points i felt like the game was actively mocking me, when i reached the shrine of life and was faced with barren walls and a puddle of water i felt betrayed for caring so much about what botw had done .. i felt like i could hear the game laughing while i stood there not knowing what to think of it, and while this was the time when i felt the most actually physically compeltely betrayed, that feeling of being mocked kept happening, i kept feeling like i was treated like a dumb player character that just eats up anything they say without thinking or remembering the title this was supposedly a sequel of, like i should play with the little toys of glueing things together and forget the world around me like a 5 year old

that may sound harsh but that is how i, personally, feel about it

[raveneira]

Do you think we'll ever get KawaSara crumbs again😭? I miss them sm.

Probably, if my theory about KKs real plan is true, we should be getting content pretty soon, I already pointed it out on twitter so I'll just copy and past what my theory is here.

Im not even interested in reading the new chap anytime soon thats how much of a snooze fest it is

I mean Araya loses his sword the same chapter he uses it in, Konohamaru is willing to die & let Moegi die over a name, & the rest of them is getting overwhelmed, but KK said they got this 🥱

You'll never convince me KK didnt set them up for failure, no way the highest possibility he saw for this mission was success, it wasnt even Sarada that ruined it cuz of Sumire, it was Yodo bein hot headed & Konohamaru bein stubborn, KK had to know that so yea, he set em up.

Im gonna go out on a limb and say its cuz he wasnt betting on THEM to be the ones to succeed, he said B0ruto cant go cuz Jura will appear and kill him, my bet is hes betting on Kawaki to go take them both out once Amado makes him full powered off screen

I could be wrong and B0ruto once again be captain save a hoe but somethin tells me KK had this all planned out for a Kawaki save, otherwise there was no reason to stop B0ruto if he knew he could go there and just save everyone himself, so the Jura parts probably true.

Again I could be wrong but all the signs are there, Kawaki just demanded his limits off which Amado atp has no choice but to do, he can probably fly just as fast or faster than B0ruto unlimited, the shinju still underestimate him so he now has the element of surprise, it adds up.

So if my theory is correct and Kawaki IS the one who bails them out, we'll be getting some crumbs soon.

Even if we dont tho, dont fret, just look at how long the gaps were before SS would get any new crumbs in Shippuden, times were tough, but thats just the direction the story was going at the time [them on opposing sides] so their interactions were very few and far between, but when we DID get content it was always really impactful, and the same goes for KawaSara.

So dont be discouraged, be patient, because when there eventually is new content it'll be worth the wait, because when its oversaturated the way BoruSara is for example it loses all impact because its to be expected atp, you know what to expect, you know what your gonna get, you know what the dynamics gonna be, you know how they feel about eachother already.

Theres no mystery, no intrigue, no excitement like 'oooo I wonder what their next interactions gonna be or how their gonna react to this or that etc' because their relationship and dynamic is already set in stone, no matter what happens Sarada will always care and worry about Boruto and vice versa, thats it.

Even if you wanna claim theres romance [there isnt yet] then even their romance is uninteresting because again, its so over saturated in the series that who even cares? its just like 'oh well that happened' and once the initial excitement from ppl who shipped it dies down its gonna quickly fade into the background because again, theres nothing special or interesting about it, we already know everything about them, so whats there to look forward to? them holding hands? a kiss?

Tell me honestly would that really surprise you given everything we've seen and know about these characters? no, being shocked at BoruSara holding hands and kissing is like saying you'd be surprised seeing MinaKushi doing that, which literally nobody would.

One of the main things that drives a ship is the slow burn, seeing their relationship develop and change, seeing how the characters slowly fall for eachother and realizing their feelings etc, but BoruSara has already completed all of that [minus the romance but even if the romance part does happen then what? their development is still already completed, only thing that changes is their title, friends > lovers]

Their relationship has already peaked, they started off on bad terms but now their on good ones and thats never gonna change now, the development was done in the Boruto movie which was literally the first 10 chapters of part one, meaning all their development peaked in just 10 chapters which killed any excitement or intrigue for where their relationship/dynamic was gonna go from that moment on.

Picture it like InoShikaCho, after they initial introduction did you ever wonder to yourself how their relationships were gonna go and develop? no right? because their relationship peaked right then and there, so from that moment on we already knew InoShikaCho was gonna be a bickering trio that are really close like family and would ride or die for eachother, and that never changed over the entire 700 chapters of the series.

BoruSara is the same way, after the Boruto movie their relationship peaked there and hasnt changed since, nothing Sarada and Boruto is doing now is any different than what they were doing after chapter 10, their entire relationship has become stagnant and so over saturated that anything that happens between them fazes literally no one at this point.

And thats the problem with over saturation, when your fed something constantly you become numb to it and it ceases to surprise or excite you anymore, this is why, as torturous as it is, Im happy that SS and KawaSara were so spaced out because it allowed all their moments to really hit HARD when they did happen and spark alot of conversation, whereas BoruSara is just like 'awww look at this cute moment of them caring about eachother for the 456th time' 😭

My point is because BoruSara is so saturated nobody really cares about any of their moments besides the shippers obviously, but beyond them you dont really see anyone makin a big deal or talking about it.

So even tho its hard going so long without content, the wait will be worth it, you just gotta play the long game, then eventually you'll look back and be grateful things were so spaced out so that you could really enjoy and miss those moments rather than having them thrown at you constantly till it gets boring.

[iamindebt]

Dussekar is an enegmatic and strange character, shrouded in mystery

[LONG POST INCOMING] [[like its massive]]

1st off, tell me if he EVER, at all , ONCE actively helps you

Chapter 1, Otempes does most of it

Chapter 2, Wiscara tags alongside you to take her scissors back and beats up herbrother ro do so

Chapter 3 you just go with Otempes, but THIS is when you meet Dussekar

Chapter 4 is primarily a solo mission, with Wiscara telling you where to go

Chapter 5 everyone tags along, EXCEPT Dussekar (put a pin in that for me)

Chapter 6, Tucker (who does not need to help) convinces you to take a more active approach instead of waiting for a problem to occur and then solving it (see chapters 1, 2, and 4)

Chapter 7 Base cleph and Otempes solve this, you coming along because Claire told you too.

Chapter 8 EVERYONE gets involved

...yeah hes not the defenition of a "team player".

2nd, Dussekar is just some guy, just some guy that got what he wanted because of a likely meaningless task

3rd, he seems to be apathetic or blatantly NOT CARE about scriptliss despite saying that he does. (put a note about the "apathetic part")

(from chapter 4)

D: ...So you have no idea who released you?

S: N-no... I couldnt see behind me because my entire body was chained... I have no idea who cut the chains either

(Dussekar glances to the paper ball chained to scriptliss's ankle)

D: Hmm... well it seems they missed a chain. And the clamp is tightly secured. Does it hurt to walk?

S: N-n-no... *sniff*

D: Whats the matter?

S: It's just that *sniff* You knew i was chained up... Didnt you?

D: Well... not quite. I heard some rumors. I knew your general whereabouts, but i had no idea you were actually chained up...

D: Im sorry for not going to check up on you sooner. I figured that, wherever you were, you'd be fine on your own.

S: But *sniff* Thats how we lost 1x1x1x1 to the void, too. You assumed that he was safe enough on his own...

D: Hey, can we change the subject? The protagonist is right over there.

S: Oh, hi! Didn't see you over there, Protagonist. Were're just chill out here. Isn't that right Dussekar?

D: Absolutely frigid.

S: Hah! What a Dussekar. Always cracking jokes.

(Nice save)

D: (Shhhh. Put a lid on it.)

This shows us a lot about the characters. Dussekar knew about rumors, meaning he forgot or didnt care to check on Scriptliss, who was IN HIS. WASTEBASKET.

Scriptliss does actually bring this up in their conversation (see red text), instead of confronting this or apologising for it, he changes the subject, focusing on protag.

Once scriptliss notices this he seems a lot more extroverted and friendly from his demeanor not even 5 seconds ago. Most likely scriptliss does not want anyone to find out what happened in pr2 but he does bring up some very good points.

There was no reason Dussekar should not have been able to check in on Scriptliss. Hes immortal, Dussekars immortal, his wastebasket is RIGHT THERE.

(seriously buddy, you cant spend 5 minutes to attempt to reconcile with you only remaining friend? he seems very willing now)

4th

(i would rewrite lanter and dussekars entire conversation but thats like rewriting the bloody bee movie script)

L: ...Are you even listening to yourself? You sound more like a tyrant than the god who you vanquished centuries ago. Just because someone stole your precious little plaything doesn't mean you have to fight so hard to get it back

D: The plotbook isnt a "plaything" its the reality we live in.

L: You truly are no different then the ancient gods who fought to protect everything they ruled over. Have you ever considered that Antagon might just be repeating your own history?

D: well, if you disagree with his actions as much as you disagree with mine, Why dont you go stop him yourself?!

L: Thats not the point. The point is, You need to see your actions from a different perspective before you draw definitive conclusions on people

D: Im well aware of how my actions affect others. I don't need anyone reminding me what the consequences of my actions are. I know exactly what ive done.

L: Alright then. What are you finally gonna do when you finally catch antagon? Surely your not going to send him to banland, are you? Hes just a kid, you know. Until recently, hes been living with his mother. What are you going to do then?

D: ...........

L: Hes just a younger version of you. Are you going to lash out at him when you finally get the plot book back?

D: ..............

L: Well?

idk man dussekar definitely looked like he was considering it. Its bad for antagon because hes a CHILD but its worse for scriptliss because hes immortal. like c'mon dude this is greek mythology levels of punishment.

why did he not try to revive tretone or tess,

major L moment right there

TLDR:

Dussekar as a character seems to show that he does not care about his old friend and has no issues with sending anyone he disagrees with to infinity jail.

it gets better after apologising about screaming at antagon and talking to scriptliss though :thumbs_up:

[theprinceandthewitch]

So... does anyone else get the impression season 3 was a giant middle finger to Disney? Like a whole "Oh, you want to cancel TOH? Fuck you. We are going to give you an ending so bad people are gonna shit on it forever."

While TOH always had an issues in the writing department there's just something about Season 3 that's particularly awful and kind of malicious tbh. Season 3 doesn't feel like there was any care put into it.

So... while I do like Thanks to Them because Hunter/Luz bonding and Caleb/Evelyn=Luz/Hunter tidbits... it's actually really, really bad. There is no logical explanation for why the characters are fucking around for literal months. Philip should know where titan blood can be found as he had SOMEWAY to get to TBI's. He also knew of Calebs and Evelyns relationship - thats why he even went to TBI's to begin with. He wanted to look for Caleb and convince him to come back to the human world. Philip met Evelyn when he and Caleb were teenagers and he was PROBABLY friends with her before he decided to double down on the witch hate.

Another thing: Flapjack did not need to keep quiet about there possibly being a rebus in the house and the existence of rebuses in general FOR MONTHS. He could have said the moment they came to the human realm something like:

"Hey so, Caleb and Philip were friends with a witch named Evelyn for years. There's titan blood hidden around Gravesfield. I know the landscape has changed over the centuries but you can probably find a vial somewhere by using glyphs near the location shown on the rebus. Caleb and Evelyn made maps to titan blood in the form of rebuses because they needed to keep their relationship a secret. This dilapidated house you guys arrived in when you came to the human realm is Calebs house because the doorways fixed location in the human realm is Caleb's house. There's probably a rebus somewhere in the house. If there are no rebuses in the house, I can show you the last known locations of other rebuses."

Because nobody does anything proactive to find a way home UNTIL Amity accidentally steps in the hole in the floor FLAPJACK made while looking for the rebus. Not only did Flapjack not bother to tell Hunter about there being a rebus that leads to titan blood in the house they fixed up and have been using as a base of operations for literal months - none of the characters ever thought to look around the town for some clues that could lead them back to the demon realm. All the characters try to do is build doorways. VEE could have mentioned there was a witch who came to Gravesfield centuries ago, which would have kickstarted their journey around town. Vee knows about the story because of Yesterdays Lie - and they fucking mention Vee's confrontation with Jacob and show us Jacob in Thanks to Them. THERES LITERALLY a whole museum full of rebuses that were dug up around Gravesfield the characters could have gone to. You cant tell me Gus, Amity, Willow and Hunter were too afraid to explore the demon realm as if they weren't literally living in the human realm for months and went on trips during their stay. As if they weren't gungho about exploring the human realm right after finding the rebus. AS IT they didnt have Vee as a reliable guide around town.

There's also no reason for Luz to go back to school when she has to find a way to get everyone back home. Luz going to school is another time waster with no reason to exist.

On top of that Flapjack doesn't tell Hunter a damn thing about Caleb. We dont even get a "Flapjack finds it difficult to talk about Caleb" moment to explain Flapjacks silence. We dont know WHY Flapjack doesnt say anything about Caleb even though Flapjack clearly belonged to Caleb and not Evelyn. He just lets Hunter read these history books about Caleb which might not even be completely accurate because history can be omitted and changed to fit certain narratives. And the stories about The Wittebane brothers and Evelyn are proven to be incorrect because they paint Evelyn as a stereotype AND as the person who killed Caleb.

But yeah, Thanks to Them is alot less enjoyable when you realize ALL of the characters are wasting time for no reason.

[exoulisis]

Murderer James W. Rodgers was put in front of a firing squad in Utah and asked if he had a last request. He replied, “Bring me a bullet-proof vest.”

somethings happened to me

ive been feeling disgusted by writing. ive started hating it. this worries me

i dont think ive ever made it this far on a singular project. its like my brain is repelling me away because its a new record for me.

i have to push. and thats hard because it’s writing

its hard because im against my own brain but my brain is responsible for producing the ideas for my writing.

it’s like begging your worst enemy for some money.

if you’re here then you are a witness of the first ever time i tried when it got hard. when i really didnt want to do it. when i started hating it.

i dont even care if im losing passion for writing or if im burnt out or “writers block”. i dont care about any of it. i MUST go on.

ive gotten so far. i cant quit this now. i cant slow down now.

its so easy too. i just write about random things that come to my mind. i just write about my feelings, i just vent to nobody.

if i can’t even do that then what can i do?

this medium account is teaching me what discipline feels like. its teaching me what LIFE feels like.

are you really here?

i haven’t seen you in a while, reading this.

im losing God again. i dont even know how or why at this point. He just fades from me. i need to recommit myself to prayer and scripture i guess.

it saddens me so much.

because i know ill never be good enough for Him

i know ill never be able to stick with Him forever because ill always lose Him

it breaks me

it breaks my heart

it makes me hate myself because im not allowing myself to live

im not allowing myself to have the only thing in the entire universe thats real and not out to get me

im sorry

but how could God make it so hard for me?

He knows how weak i am

wait i cant do this now. i cant ask questions about God here because i have to ask Him directly. i cant pray in here because He said not to. i need to pray in private, in secret, alone.

but i am really just so so so so sorry to Him

because i know Hes there but im drowning down here

im drowning on this earth

in all the things of this earth

the work the stress the sadness the emotions

wont He pull me out of the bridge ive jumped off?

please

but i have to swim to His lifeboat first

and i dont know if i can because im just so weak

sad violin noises

i need Him

i need Him

i need Him

but im just

so

weak.

i think i love Him. i really think i do

do i secretly like drowning?

because i just want someone to love me. i want people to have a reason to care about me. to nurture me, to give me things.

i just want a hug

i want to be destroyed so that people finally start listening to me. instead of just waiting for their turn to get what they want

i want to breath my last breath in this water. just so my feelings are finally validated. by the ones standing at my grave and the ones looking at the news report saying “I wish I could’ve helped him”, the ones with tears saying “Why did I fail to understand him?”

i just want to be given a chance to be understood

nobody understands you until you show them why they should’ve understood you

imagine sad piano playing as someone gains awareness of all your problems and emotions and trauma. without you needing to convince them or show them evidence and text messages and security camera footage and call people

what would they do?

i dont know if they would hug me

or hit me

hit me and say “Everyone has these types of issues you disgusting egomaniac”

so then it wouldnt be sad piano. it would be the hero finally triumphing the villain

am i the villain here?

but all i want to be is broken

shattered into a million pieces and everyone rushes over to piece me back together

but im actually alone and i dont even have the strength to pray to God because i barely even believe in Him anymore

how can i believe in Him if i dont even believe myself

how can i trust Him if i cant trust the vessel

this is my temporary euphoria for the day

“just do your best because thats all anyone can do”

so whats the point

whats the point

id do my best and get successful and then what

im just here but its dimmed

i want it erased i want it gone

i dont want makeup i want accutane

stop telling me to do what worked for you because you didnt even realise what you were doing

and for that im so, so jealous

because you’re free because you cant see the prison bars, you can just mingle in the cell believing you’re free to leave whenever

but its too late for me to live in that paradise because i know too much honey

imprisoned in my own thoughts

i love you though

im lost and you’re trying to pull me back on the right path but your right path ends in a cliff but the cliff is invisible to the naked eye

the flowers bloom in beauty and they die

can i take anything with me to death?

i don’t want to obtain the next step in your instructions

i dont want to buy things for one dollar and sell them for two

its all bland and flavourless

its all fleeting

only one thing is forever and that thing is the possible existence of a God

i don’t care if im living in obscurity so stop saying that

i dont care if you’re even Napoleon

i don’t even wanna be a writer or poet because once i choose it its over before it started. we can’t choose what we want to do we can only do what we want to do. choosing ruins the electricity and choosing ruins the reasons we choose

but i dont want to bold my own text i want someone to do it for me

i dont want to work i want to write

i dont want to write i want to be free

i dont want to be free i just want to know what i want

i dont want you anymore because i dont want to lose you

im fine staying at the shore

but is the shore sadder than the swim back?

you can iron your clothes but you can never iron ceaselessness

that crinkle stays and will always be apparent

you can hide it with accessories but you will still brush against it time to time

and you’ll be despaired once again

or is it just me who has no accessories to use?

and i thank God every day that He wont give me any because its the only thing keeping me afloat

is being stuck under the water

i like this

the “Save and Publish” button is the only thing ive found that validates my despair

or can you help me?

God I thank you

for this despair because its what makes me feel alive

can you feel that?

even without a musician caressing instruments you can still feel joy, you dont need them

but i do

because when i have that in my ear i dont have any space for me to hate myself because i don’t have space to think

i dont have space to binge or make more and more mistakes and hate myself even more

its just silent. its just stoic

i don’t know how to love myself

i don’t know how i could love someone who drowns in their own misery, seeking attention and validation while rejecting real change.

i mooch off others, indulge in instant gratification, and push away those who try to help, all while resenting myself and my situation.

i obsess over my own misery because i have nothing greater to focus on.

im stuck in nihilistic paralysis.

wait a second

wait a second…

i feel like i have deep wisdom, but ive been tricking myself all this time

there’s no point on working hard because it’ll fade and only bring us temporary satisfaction

but stagnation is worse than struggle

okay but we’re gonna die anyway so why even build things if i can stay at the baseline

but the fact that life is temporary makes it valuable, not pointless. we should make the most of it right?

but but but-

NO

we dont need a reason to do things

we just need to do the things that give meaning

it’s discovered through action

but thats not enough to break my cell bars.

but what are you afraid of?

you dont have to have it all figured out

why do you seek validation?

because i just want someone to understand me

so..

why can’t that someone be yourself?