#for my writings sake cause even tho there are still things I want to write for noir

[11queensupreme11]

I need to update my “who would be Percy’s first” with all these new love interest

1. daddyseidon - I am bias, this is me being bias. I still stand with what I said last time. If he’s her first it’ll be easy for to fuck her uncle and cousin. Nothing can lower the incest than doing it first with her daddy. #teamposy especially now that her tutor is gone and she might be home more often without anyone interrupting them. 😆 (but also lnow this dumbass decided to take it slow for her sake…. like I also wouldn’t be surprised by the time he’s ready to fuck her he’s either the third to last yandere to fuck her 😔 BUT im delusional and hoping he’s first)

2. Beelie (love the nickname she gave him) I think once the yanderes start acting up preferably from her dad and uncle I think she’ll found some sort safe heaven with him. Then with chapter 6 on how she made him feel even tho it was a small faction of feelings that he pushed aside I wouldn’t be too surprise if he’s her first time and more on the non-con side too especially when he becomes obsessed w her (cause she did find him redeemable after yknow trying to kill her so if he’ll cling to her cause she’s the first to do so) I kept this part cause I stand with what I said ^^ here especially with chapter 31 there has been lots of progress between these too. Like man was her escape from her dad and being trapped inside her home… now that he’s ‘gone’ I feel like she’ll def try to find a way to seek him out so they can go back to ‘normal’ and he’ll get even more obsessed with her, he’s like ‘omg she missed me so much that she seek me out knowing she may get in trouble with her dad 🥹”

3. Hades - he somewhat already got a taste of that perussy, nothing is holding this man back.

4. Apollo - since he’s a fast burn I think she’ll be a bit more creeped out with his obsession for her that it’ll take some time. Especially if he comes in singing her songs, making her poems, and sculptures about her. the first two were cute now she’s worried when they become a little too sexual 😥 Just gonna add here tho seeing how he literally allows her to do anything to him (stomping on his face) and listens to her (chapter 31 with Pan) I can somewhat see her thinking he’s a good ally of some sort in getting what she wants cause in his eyes he may get some brownie points if does so, of course there are limits.

5. Loki I am stuck between Loki and Apollo being number four. Loki is somewhat like Beeli when it comes to knowing who Percy really is. She can be herself around Loki the same way she is with Beeli. Loki also knowing what he’s feelings are for Percy and reading the doll 😨 he has… like girl I’m not gonna be surprised if you write an scene of him fucking the Percy doll and him getting tired and wanting the real thing. 🚶‍♀️I do see him as 5ish cause he’s also hated by all so everyone is gonna cockblock him and Percy at best. No where to hide now that he’s cape is gone too.

6. Anubis … I haven’t kept up with the manga so I don’t know much about him except that he’s hot. Lowkey wanted to put him first for the shits and giggles cause can you imagine her first being him and when he knots her… like would they be stuck like normals animals are when doing it? Can you imagine Anubis sensing a God’s presence (her dadddys in this case) and being balls deep and not being able to escape?!?!?! He’s fucked.

i really wanted to properly address everything you wrote here but i fucking DIED at anubis' part 😭

"Can you imagine Anubis sensing a God’s presence (her dadddys in this case) and being balls deep and not being able to escape?!?!?! He’s fucked." ASHDGAHFS 💀

with how anubis acts, if that were to happen, he'd just turn to look poseidon dead in the eye and be like "hi father-in-law!!!! 👋😊"

he's a silly lil guy with ZERO shame 😭

[13runningsomething]

Asking some writers/artists I follow:

Is there anything in your fic/comic that you as the author know about, but won't end up in the actual story?

This is a great question! I'm gonna try to answer it without spoilers.

Though ERICA is focused on Raph having Hanahaki, I have been thinking about how the others would deal with it, and what might cause it.

For Leo, it could come from a number of things, just because I imagine that he would bury many of his stronger feelings for the sake of "being a good leader." I've already said in the fic that he knows Hanakotoba (Japanese language of flowers), so he would probably figure out what his flowers mean and confront those feelings on his own, before anyone could even realize he had it. That being said, his primary flower would be a blue balloon flower (yes, I'm colour-coding them), because it's the Hamato clan symbol, and ultimately he's suppressing his emotions for the clan.

[I'm also a bit obsessed with symbolism of it in Tale of the Yokai and Owari so I thought it'd be fun to use for one of the turtles]

I haven't given much though to how Donnie would get Hanahaki, but the first thing that comes to mind is disagreeing with Leo or the others (like end of season 2/Don Vizioso type of arguing). When Donnie thinks he's right, he will think so until explicitly proven wrong, so I could see him quite literally dying on a hill of his own pride (or coming really close to it). Hydrangeas would be kinda perfect for this, because they can mean pride and arrogance, but also apology and understanding. Donnie might know deep down that the others are right, but he doesn't always want to admit it.

With Mikey, I can think of two major causes, but I'm gonna focus on the more likely one: suppressing his childishness. Mikey's inner self is canonically a 6 year old kid in a world of imagination, so if something were to happen that would forcefully make him "grow up" (mayhaps Splinter's death), or he takes his brothers' words about being too immature to heart, the disease would come down on him like an anvil. In this case, his flower would be freesia, and I like to think the colours would become duller the longer it lasts (really emphasize the loss of innocence/vibrancy metaphor). I don't think he would try to hide it from his brothers for long though, if they don't discover it on their own. Mikey's probably the most willing out of all of them to actually talk through his issues.

I haven't thought of anything for April, Casey, Karai, etc, but I did decide that Casey has had Hanahaki in the past. There was going to be a scene of him talking to Raph about it, offering advice on how to cope until he's ready to share his feelings, but I cut it when I couldn't fit it in organically (I might still write it separately tho).

I've also been compiling what's essentially a medical doc for how my version of Hanahaki works (causes, diagnosis, treatment, etc). Some of it comes up in the fic, but I might still make a detailed post about it in the future just because I've put a fair amount of research into it.

[Sorry that this got kinda long, but I hope you like reading it :)

[blorbologist]

Pikelan with the "gestures that gets me on my knees" prompts? If you want a specific one of the bunch, maybe the "you want that, love? I want cuddles tho'", but any of them are fine :]

[Of course! Set in TLOVM, because Makin' My Way happened over the course of a few days - surely some stuff happened over that time, right? Didn't get to smoochies tho, sorry the vibes were not quite that.]

It’s… wait, he needs to count. 

Okay, it’s three days into their trek down the mountain. Scanlan’s feet hurt bad and his back hurts worse, because Pike was stabbed and like hell he’s letting her haul Grog’s scrawny ass around. Even puny like this, he’s still a goliath.

Unfortunately, without those big muscles, there isn’t really much warmth to be found when they dare not light a fire. Like tonight, when they spied some bandits parked on the road they finally found. Maybe they’ll just - dunno - use the river to make more progress tomorrow. 

Man. He’d really kill for Trinket right now. Bear stank, but at least he had one good use. 

Grog passed out within, probably, a few minutes of scarfing down what Pike was able to fish from the river. So it’s just the gnomes, now, against the dark, against the cold.

And - and maybe Scanlan’s a little delirious from hunger, because Grog ate half his serving before he could get to it, and it really should be repeated that it’s been a long fucking few days - 

But? Pike might be coming on to him?

He’d usually cut out the might, because let’s be real, Scanlan Shorthalt is irresistable, and when he is resistible a wink and a song usually get the girls and gents to change their tune. Pike is a whole other beast, though - beyond the fact she could squash him like a bug (wow), she plays him like a fiddle, somehow, and he gets tongue-tied in a decidedly unsexy way. So he really doesn’t blame her for not taking him seriously. Honestly!

So he really has no fucking clue why her hand is on his thigh, and she’s laughing at what he’s singing and listening to what he’s saying, and not the other way around. 

He’s had cause to thank the gods (the Everlight specifically, lately. No reason.) for his darkvision before. Lots of good cause, really, from sneaking out before dawn to - well. 

Scanlan’s pretty sure he mouths a prayer, because this can’t be real. She can’t be real, white hair blue with shadow and gold with moonlight and subtly the richest thing he’s ever seen. 

How are her eyes so fucking pretty? They’re grey. His are grey. No one writes ballads about grey eyes. He’d fix that, right now, except he can’t string words together in his head. He’s still talking, though, but no clue what he’s actually saying. 

Better shut up. He does. With a gulp. 

“C’mon, Scanlan,” Pike prompts. From beneath her lashes - fuck’s sake, that’s sinful. That has to be sinful, looking like that. And he knows sin. 

(He’s not a man his mother would be proud of.) 

Apparently he’s gone catatonic, because Pike nudges him. “The rest of the story? The boat, and the fleece? What happens next?”

He has no fucking clue. Scanlan swallows. “I - let’s head to bed,” he says. “It’s late.”

“Yeah,” Pike replies, not looking the least bit tired. “Let’s.”

And she doesn’t move.

Or she does, but it’s not away, to curl up under one of Grog’s arms, as far from his armpit and as close to his body heat as she can manage. 

It’s into him. 

Silver is too weak a word, platinum to cheap, for what he sees in her eyes. 

“Scanlan,” she says.

He gulps. Really appropriate comedic timing. “Yeah?”

“What happens next?”

Maybe, now - just maybe - he can… they can… scratch that might? He’s reading this right - right?

So he gives it a shot: he leans in.

Pike rests her forehead against his and his stupid little heart might give out there. 

And then.

She fucking.

Winks. 

“You want me so bad it makes you look stupid.”

Scanlan sputters. “I - Pike - you -”

“Oh, I don’t mind.” She grins, cheeky little - “It’s a good look on you.”

He reads something he shouldn’t, then. That earnest devotion she has in prayer, and how she shutters herself off from talking about it too much around their party of godless friends. And Vax, now, especially, and whatever the fuck he has going on. A fire blazing, banked low.

Yeah. He gets scared. 

“It’s late,” he repeats. And, because he can’t resist trying his shitty luck: “we might need to cuddle for warmth, though.”

Pike snuggles into his side. He definitely feels warmer, already. And she looks at him a little coyly, and he doesn’t need a fire anymore. “Can I be the big spoon?”

He feigns indignity. Which is, let’s be clear, really fucking hard around the huge grin he has.

Mildly spicy prompt game! Ft. ships I want to write more of <3

[helluvapurf]

First-Impression thoughts on Hazbin Hotel's "official" first ep, now that I checked it out on YT-

*Spoiler warning below for those who didn't see it yet-*

-Great to see Charlie & Vaggie again, still a wholesome lil supportive pair whilst having their own quirks/things to do on the side. Esp with Vaggie spending the whole time back at the hotel reshooting a whole commercial for Charlie's sake, awww :3

-Pleasantly surprised by the twist of Charlie's mom being the figure she was most inspired by to make her dream come true, along with her love for singing. Curious to see where Lilith's whereabouts could be if she's been away for so long?

-The new voices were... a mixed bag, I suppose? Mainly in the line/tone-deliveries for certain characters (& I guess I'm still moreso used to the OG pilot's portrayals lol), but I can see the good attempts made from those like Charlie & Alastor.

-I... don't know how I feel about the way Lucifer's backstory was handled? Like, yeah its interesting hearing of him & Lilith genuinely connecting over their "rebellious" natures (& thus fleeing from Heaven's wrath/staying in Hell to be together). But then, the whole thing with Lucifer apparently being some "doofy, misunderstood dreamer who only wanted the best for Humanity, got bullied by those mean ol' angels, and didn't meaaaan to spread Sin all across Earth~ 🥺🥺" ...ehhhhh, felt kinda lame imho 🤷‍♀️. Not that I mind giving nuanced/sympathetic angles to a character's development now & then... but with someone like Lucifer (who mind you, is meant to represent the "Ring of Pride" on top of his Hell-ruling duties), I guess I kinda expected more... "bite" to his portrayal, I guess? .3. But idk, maybe that's just me... (*Tho admittedly, one could argue that perhaps he and/or Lilith were simply lying in that storybook to make them look less "bad"... idk, given HB's track record with Stolas' writing and since both shows are made by the same people... part of me can't help having my doubts ^^; *)

-Adam... ooooooh boi .x.;; Ever since I saw his leaked design I've always been rather... "mixed" about him, and now seeing him on-screen & talking I... don't really get the concept behind him? I mean, yeah I'm all for a fun, chaotic-jackass type when done right (hell I still consider Blitz among my faves to this day lol). But with Adam apparently being the big leader behind Heaven's army, AND was even the "original" Adam from biblical times... how tf did he get the chance to be allowed in Heaven if he not only helped curse humanity to sin (aka: sharing Forbidden Fruit with Eve), but on top of him currently being a horny, misogynistic loudmouth? 🤨Discounting that is also the fact that his whole design vibe just... doesn't really give me "holy army leader" vibes, but more-or-less just Blitz in some weird angel cosplay lol 🤷‍♀️. No shade to those who genuinely do like Adam though (and I'll admit his song was surprisingly catchy lol), I just... feel like his whole personality/design vibe could've probably fit better to a fallen angel-type character (or even a demon-angel hybrid if you wanna play more into the Heaven vs. Hell conflict), someone who only takes up the "Adam" title as an ego trip to enact his revenge against Hell... or, something like that idk; my brain's tired lol. (*His sidekick Lute seems pretty cool tho, she kinda reminds me of Tempest Shadow from MLP in a way .3.*)

-Nice to see more of the old Hotel gang again, esp those like Nifty she was a cute :3 (her whole reaction to the camera honestly being a whole mood lol)

-Did not expect to see Brandon Rogers pop up voicing Katie Killjoy of all people, buuuut I guess I can see the amusing comparison potential to that one CEO persona of his lol

....Aaaaaand yep, that's about the gist of my first-impression thoughts atm .3. Dunno if I'll be sitting down to watch the whole season of Amazon's Hazbin atm (*'cause like, I do have Amazon Prime, buuuuut I rarely ever use that to watch shows (save for some classic cartoons here & there lol) .w.; *), but I'd say it was still generally a decent watch for what it is imo👍(+any chance to see my girl Vaggie again, the better~ x3💜)

[crowfromfoggyforest]

Okay watching season six is torture for my Rumbelle heart. (For context, i'm on s6e4 rn, so i can only talk about their relationship until that point.) Most importantly, i've always kept defending them, but now... i'm starting to think: How can they possibly end up together after this? Are the writers actually destroying Rumbelle like people have said all along? Is S6 just a retcon of their previous development?

But you know me, i'm always trying to find an in-universe explanation. And i think i found one that at least partly explains what's happening:

The baby is the worst thing that could have happened to Rumple and Belle.

Hear me out. I know the baby sounds like good news for them at first - a chance to start over as a family. But in reality, it just brings out the worst in both of them. Well, not objectively the worst, but traits that stop them from being together.

Aside from fear, Rumple's biggest motive has always been to protect his loved ones. That can lead him to doing the wrong thing because he would do anything to protect them. And with that baby on the way, his protectiveness is only going up. When he lived with his first son, he ruined their lives, so now he wants to be a better father for his second child. Although he loves Belle, Bae / his children have almost been the most important to him, probably because his own parents left him. So in summary, more than ever, he's doing everything to protect Belle and their baby - even if that means harming others or acting against Belle's wishes.

Belle, on the other hand, has been trying to put herself and her own feelings and needs first. Before that, she has tried to love Rumple despite everything, but now she's come to realise that - because of his trauma, and because he won't ever become a good person -, he has often ended up causing her harm, and she's still hurt by that. So even before the baby, she had decided to get away from him at least for some time, for her own sake. And now there's the baby. And like Rumple, like any mother, she would do anything to protect it. So she has to ask herself if having Rumple in their life is really the safest thing for them. Now, if nothing else had happened, she would have maybe come to the conclusion that she needed Rumple so he could protect them. But then there's Gideon disguised as Morpheus, visiting her in a dream and convincing her that because he would do anything to protect them, he will only cause them harm again. He speaks directly to her fears and wounds. So her still being hurt by everything Rumple has done and her wanting to protect her child are enhanced by what her unborn child tells her, leading he to a drastic conclusion that she maybe wouldn't have come to otherwise: She needs to keep herself and their baby away from Rumple.

So these two things - Rumple wanting to protect their child and Belle wanting to stay away from Rumple - clash in s6e4 and make each other worse. Especially because Rumple's protectiveness actually almost kills Belle and the baby, confirming her fears. With their strongest motives - both seperately being understandable - being so contradictory rn, they can't be together if there isn't a major change.

So my answer to the questions i mentioned above is: What's happening isn't bad character writing or a retcon, it actually makes sense. I'm still wondering how the writers will fix their relationship tho.

[longeyelashedtragedy]

gimme a whole speech on the writing of visited upon the sons, pls

ok! i hope you mean this for real and aren't going to laugh at me for giving a whole long serious answer (omg sometimes the 'i was a weird kid' instinct kicks in) but i assume your kindness 💙🤍

random trivia: i almost never write with music on, cause my head is so wild about music that it's too distracting, but i wrote this with "money" by pink floyd on repeat and i'm honestly not sure why? (i also wrote "digestif" listening to motorhead...not sure why either but u gotta roll with it)

where to start...

i wrote a really big chunk of the beginning while standing under some scaffolding waiting for a freak summer downpour to end so i could go get iced coffee. that's my favorite way to write--in a weird place on my notes app full of autocorrect mistakes and other things like that because i'm so in the zone that my brain is going way too fast for my fingers to keep up.

i was sooooo Absorbed in fact that i didn't realize until a couple days later that i had written it really oddly without realizing? You know how in 3rd person pov even if you're writing one person's perspective and you're in their head so you know their emotions, thoughts etc, you still narrate with the character's name? Like...Mason chokes on the the sip of water he was trying to take.  “Uhhh…that’s kind of fucked up?” he manages to squeak out in between coughs.  This is making him think things he doesn’t want to think doesn’t want to think doesn’t want to—He coughs again and runs his fingers nervously through his fluffy hair. that kind of thing? what i realized is that i had written this POV really strangely and tho frank is the POV he never refers to himself by name? is that a thing? i was like "well that's weird" and tried to fix it but the fic refused...it made the POV feel too distant when the point of the fic is that he's increasingly lost in his own mind. the closer you as the reader are to that, the better. i trust my writing instincts like--if i instinctively wrote that way then it must have been for a reason! (note that the middle section is written in the "traditional" 3rd person way which again just--felt way better because that section is soooooort of a coherent narrative--which is also kinda done for a reason)

however this meant i had to repeat mason's name WAY more than sounds natural so it wasn't confusing, and if i just Did that with no explanation, that's the kind of thing i'd pick up on as a reader and would consider to be unforgivably bad writing. so, i called it out directly in the fic, and gave it an in-world reason, which then actually became the fic summary 😂 (Mason, his Mason—It’s the repetition that dulls the emotions (some people would call that repression, wouldn’t they, but that word implies something wrong with one’s mental state and there’s nothing wrong at all) My fic my rules!

this fic was written really in like, 2 or 3 days of writing. it was nearly impossible to just write little bits here and there. this pov was very demanding of my full attention because i also had to disappear into franko's mind to write it and it's hard to just like, do that when you have 10 spare minutes. because of this i almost gave up on it because it felt like i'd never be able to regain the momentum of the first writing day and also--also--i struggled with the structure SO HARD. my initial plan was to have the fic start out normally, and then intersperse frank's memories with the present, and each time he re-joins the present from a memory he gets more and more fucked up. (and of course, mason is clueless to it at first, and then he's all ?????) you can see lil remnants of this throughout--i think mostly in the beginning when he pours the rosé. (His fist clenches around the bottle as he pours and Mason catches that too. For fuck’s sake, he’s not supposed to.) Initially, the first section of the memories section--Dad getting too worked up about young!frank wanting to drink something pink--was going to come right before that, so there was a direct context--oh, he's remembering that while he pours. BUT--

that happened to work there, but i realized if i kept doing it like this i was going to be imposing something way too restrictive on the rest of the fic. i'd have to create each bad memory and then make the corresponding "present day" section relate to that memory and there'd be no way to make that happen naturally without seriously forcing some part of the story, and who wants that? this got me so stressed out especially as the (self-appointed) King of the Flashback that i wondered if i should just leave them out altogether. somehow i decided to write all of the flashbacks i would want to have in an entirely separate document, and then just write the "present" parts all at once, and then decide how i'd want to combine them.

2nd trivia point: because of this, this was one of the only fics in recent memory i've ever written relatively in order from start to finish. usually i write a beginning and an end and then fuck around in no order in the middle till it's done.

i can't quite remember what happened next, but i think i then did skip a bit to writing the end, and suddenly my mind wanted to develop something that came up earlier in the fic, at the beginning, where he refers to the feeling of something pursuing him. i think i meant that more in a vague sense at the time, and wasn't going to explore it, but (maybe something from @new-berry inspired me? possibly?) considering how fucked-up i wanted him to be at the end vs the beginning, and how coming out of a dissociative episode your relationship to yourself and to the world around you can be really wonky and fucked up--at least in my personal experience--i realized what if i could make that concept a lot more Real, and put in the imagery of a ghost in the room. but what kind of ghost? well, obviously not an uwu scary ghost, but you can come to your own conclusions as to what he thinks is "haunting" him.

this meant that i could write that last paragraph, which sincerely is one of my fav endings i've written in a long time, and as often happens when i write endings, the whole fic then made sense to me. and i realized instead of writing scattered memories and having frank's behavior in the present Escalated, i was going to drop the entire memories narrative into the fic in one big chunk, creating a story within a story, and have it be so all consuming that he completely loses track of what is happening. (which i feel like is an especially wild thing to do while you're having a Sexual Encounter and thus leaves mason rightfully disturbed--love me some Wretched Sex!!! sorry!)

i had a couple people tell me they completely forgot what was supposed to be happening while they were reading it, which made me so happy because that was what i wanted!

when i see this mf i see a dude who is so tormented and repressed and shaped by how he was treated as a kid. his dad made football his life so oppressively (in some ways) that he has, as he's said, no hobbies other than football and reading and now that football is no longer a good place for him there's just nothing left. add that to the fact that he clearly has never ever really healed from his mom's death in 2008 (and you can say a lot about his disingenuousness and lack of accountability as a coach, but the extended part about how he dealt with grief and loss on the diary of a ceo podcast was so fuckin real and it was a bit wild to see a famous person be so open) i feel like someone like this has a mind like a haunted house and can't quite go about things "normally." i wanted to create this feeling in the fic.

the best writing experiences turn into therapy sessions and when i was done writing i realized that i was expressing something about myself through it, which is how uncomfortable i feel in situations with a lot of very cishet expectations, as someone who is VERY not het and stealthily very not cis. i had already known this of course from conversations with coworkers, but this fic made me realize how much i fucking resent it--how much anger i feel toward it really--which was...interesting to learn about myself i guess.

anyway that's visited upon the sons for ya. i'm sure i left something out, but i feel sad that i'm no longer writing it, cause it was one of those experiences that make me think writing is fun. i always think writing is fun, but you know what i mean?

(footnote: my fic that i've been referring to as 'bitter mutual cheating' takes place around 2 months after this one, and it's from mason's POV and he reduces the whole upsetting experience to one line (Frank sounds panicked, and there’s only one other time that Mason can remember hearing him sound like this–that night with the West Ham jersey where Frank seemed to go kind of crazy and he had to tell the guys in the dressing room that it was his sister’s cat who had scratched the shit out of his back) which is just kind of a fun mindfuck for me. 7000+ words of agony but all mason even was aware of was...that, lol.)

(OH, i forgot! in the last line: Holding his Mason tight like it loves him, that word "like" is important. is he realizing--just for a moment--that his "love" for Mason is just kind of a placeholder for something else? someone else? we'll see...)

[writebackatya]

My favorite fic of yours

Toss-up between 'Indi-Quack!' and 'Home For the Holidays!' I don't normally read stories where each chapter are one-shots focused on different characters and scenarios, but I absolutely love yours! You are fantastic at keeping everyone totally in character, while bringing your own extra brand of chaos (including in dialogue/interactions and scenarios, such as characters like Della and Gandra smoking weed) into it that still feels totally natural! And I love how you make certain characters who share parallels interact and and share scenarios (one of my favorite things about DT is looking at all the parallels between certain characters and thinking how interesting they would've interacted on the show; with such a large cast, especially by the end of the show, it's not hard to find similarities between certain characters; and I love that you enjoy thinking about that too).

The best character you've written for

Both Della and Gandra! :D Both individually and when they interact!

The best ship you've written for

Fendra! I may be much more of fenro shipper, but I love how you write their relationship! You really make their different personalities nicely contrast and bring out the best in each other.

My favorite chapter in my favorite fic of yours

Ooooh, that would be 'What'd I Miss?!" in Indi-Quack! Della and Gandra's chemistry is just... I have no words. Sheer perfection. They are a joy to read interacting, and I wish more people would write them as friends. So much incredible potential. And I loved Gandra and Gyro kinda getting along, and Gandra giving her the benefit of the doubt in leaving her in charge of the lab- even if that was mostly for Fenton's sake, which is really nice in itself (I'm sure Gandra must have appreciated that he was willing to give her a chance in trusting her, especially since the last time she was there she knocked him out and teamed up with Beaks to break into his lab- and hell, both she and Beaks could have used that opportunity to steal his plans and prototypes if they wanted to- which resulted in his lab being utterly destroyed), and Gandra apologizing for everything (even if that was partially the weed making it easier). And I enjoyed Gandra apologizing to Della about her role against her family in F.O.W.L., even tho she wasn't trying to hurt them.

Something I remember vividly from reading one of your fics

Fenton FREAKING THE FUCK OUT when he took weed without realizing it; it was so in character, and I laugh just thinking about it! :D

Wow, Shy thanks!

To this day I am still in disbelief how well both Indi-Quack! and Home for the Holidays! did when they were first released! I love writing for those two and cannot wait to continue writing for them when I get my groove back!

And I know say this a lot, but keeping characters in character is very important to me because I feel like a lot of these stories would be nowhere near as good if they weren’t

Something that I always hate (in general, not just fanfiction) is whenever a character in a story gets drunk or high and acts nothing like themselves but instead act like a generic drunk or stoned person. Because when you do get in that state, you don’t turn into a new person. Your guard is down and a filter is turned off. What I’m saying is, be wary of the people who ever use the excuse “That wasn’t me, I was drunk/stoned” because they’re hiding something or ignoring a part of themselves

Anyway, yeah I love those two anthology stories cause it just gives me an excuse to come up with different stories relating to a topic for these birds interact with one another. I like to think of Indi-Quack! and Home for the Holidays! as two sides of the same coin

And I love writing for Della and Gandra! They’re both chaotic in their own way and there’s no way they wouldn’t get along! I hope to see more people write and possibly draw stuff with those two together. They’re great characters

Honestly seeing that the biggest supporter of Fenro say they love how I write Fendra is quite possibly the best shipping related compliment I’ve ever gotten

And yeah, What’d I Miss?! is a story that took me longer and even came out a little longer than I expected but I’m really happy with the results! And honestly, Gyro trusting Gandra more than Della to take care of the lab just makes total sense to me mainly because Gandra has a little more at stake there compared to Della. Glad you loved that chapter! I loved writing all the different dynamics for that one and LP’s cameo at the end

And oh my god, Fenton’s freak out was a lot of fun to write and something I can see clearly in my head. I’m happy left an impression on you!

[winderlylandchime]

At this point you are all in this with me and i am officially making this man everyone’s problem. He came into my home office while i was on zoom and asked for a pen and paper only to later find out that he made one of those mind maps. It’s about Britin and there’s bunch of arrows about what all he thinks could happen in the future seasons, to how Britin is connected and there’s a section for Ethan and everything. He then gave me a 10 minute presentation while I took a break. It made zero sense but he swears it does. I wish I could send you all a picture of it cause one arrow that leads out of the middle (which he named ‘beautiful bastards’) is just called ‘what the actual fuck is going on’ and under it, it says ‘idk bro, we need more context.’

The summery of his presentation that was interrupted by his alarm for pills and him going ‘for fucks sake i cant have a minute with my thoughts anymore!’ (I fear he has had too many minutes with his thoughts) was basically: Britin is connected, he doesnt know how BUT(!) they are stuck together forever even if it all goes to hell. Which he says won’t happen bc their connection is too big and no type of idiot would ever fuck this up. (Can you tell how hard it’s to keep a poker face?) Justin is linked to Brian and Ethan and also for some reason Ted(?) he has yet to make sense of that one but he swore that once he makes sense of it, it’s gonna blow my mind. Ted and brian are also linked with dotted line and he said and i quote ‘it has some weird potential cause i like how he calls him Bri like me’ only other person linked is Daphne (she is also dotted linked to Brian bc he likes them together and thinks they could be besties IF daph doesn’t disappoint him with Ethan. He thinks she will help Brian win Justin back) now here are his theories of what could happen: -he thinks that to get back together they should be put in a situation where Justin has to pretend to be Brian and Brian would be Justin (he watched an ep of White Collar where they did something similar so he got inspired but in his words he ‘made it gay’) the gay part is: role reverse sugar daddy/Justin would be forced to spend Brians money on Brian (this made me laugh bc of you) and somehow that would lead to them fucking -justin hits michael bc he still kinda hates him and he needs it to happen BUT he wants mikey to hit Justin back for Brian (since he can’t do it) which leads to Britin making up -justin breaks up with ethan bc of his ugly facial hair -justin and brian cheat together on ethan, he hates cheating but is willing to look the other way for them -brian hits ethan bc he hates his smug face and he wants Brian to hit someone -brian wins back justin and i quote ‘bri and i have yet to decide if we are okay with this one tho cause Bri is more than a consolation prize’ And for the Ethan points: there are only 4 thing’s written under his name: -i hate him, -he has a dumb goatee that makes no sense, like how does he shave that?(this was an entire 5 min long rant), -he’s not even good at playing that fucking ukulele -i hate how he talks when he says french stuff

My new favorite bit of his is the refusal to acknowledge that Ethan plays violin. Yesterday he told our mom that he plays the triangle. And i feel like it’s only right for you to know that: 1)he taped this paper on the wall next to the tv (it is an empty wall and then just a random piece of paper in the middle of it and that is all..) and 2) he did ALL this before 9 am.

I was going to send you this after we’d get back from the doctor later today but I am literally writing this while “working” cause he came back in the room to get more markers without saying a word and i am just hoping i don’t find any more papers taped on my wall when I get out of this meeting.

We welcome this man as all our problem. He’s got people going back and rewatching Ethan scenes to see if his theory that Justin’s artwork was an image of Britin. We are all in this together.

He’s gone full conspiracy theory. Too many minutes with his thoughts is right. I’m dying.

But also his theories are not entirely wrong - Randy and Scott have said they thought Justin and Ted would get along. And of course we know that Brian hires Ted for Kinnetik and they become bros. And Daphne is Britin’s biggest shipper. She DOES help them get back together. And there is hitting with Michael involved over Justin. And there is cheating involved in Justin and Ethan breaking up. He is not wrong, anon, is the point.

Cracking up about the reverse sugar daddy situation.

Dyinggg over refusing to say he plays the violin. Kind of how his beloved Bri Bri refuses to call Ethan by his name.

I’m sorry your wall has been defaced with this conspiracy theory map. But also impressed.

[llycaons]

ep13: oh, the misogyny

wwx is finding a way to DISCREETLY get the formation to rest for lwj, who is walking on a broken leg, and still jc is like 'what the fuck did you do now' like damn jc he can't do anything right. makes that post about jc hero-worshipping wwx and copying what he does and idolizing him even funnier

wwx and jc gossiping about wlj is so mean. of course she can't carry a sword, she never learned how! she was a maid. they're clearly judging her for sleeping her way into a position of power, but I see you wen chao I know it's more on you than on her

wwx falling down/out of/off things. first of many!

this is a really pretty shot ngl the water is lovely

wlj being positioned as the jealous, spiteful mistress using her power to harm a Good Woman is so shitty. they both were treated (in this arc) as one-dimensional tools to support the arcs of the men around the. wlj I know the writing did you dirty but you will always be a legend to ME for miss 'ghosts don't exist'

interesting moment - it's actually lwj who steps in to defend mm with jzx. wwx looks like he wants to, but jc shakes his head and wwx ultimately stays put. it's cool to see lwj and wwx trade off scenes that establish them as willing to defy authority and risk attack for the sake of protecting the vulnerable. it makes their ideals and goals feel truly mutual and balanced rather than wwx coming in and inspiring lwj to have a moral code (as is sometimes interpreted by fans)

this fight scene is genuinely REALLY fun and well-crafted. jzx and lwj have some sick moves, as do jc and wwx

WEI WUXIAN ICONIC MOMENTS. god I love it when he points out the hypocrisy of the great sects and the cultivation world. why is this scene never talked about! it's literally one of the best from him in this arc

again a TRAGEDY that this significant moment between them chalks up to an angsty subplot for wwx and lwj later on. it's a fucking good aspect of their relationship and it does compel me like lwj drunk-branding himself is INSANE and I'll never get over it but the misogyny 😭

wwx shot three arrows at once and took out wlj and mm's two guards without hitting mm herself LEGEND

she is literally the only wen with an understanding of how politics work

FAMOUS LAST WORDS. my dude you just locked the teenager who's going to torture you to death in a cave with the weapon he's going to use to do it

this is literally such a fucking funny joke. slept on. also wwx does take serious situations seriously but he also sometimes does this. I don't even blame jc for being like 'are you serious right now'

YOU ARE BOTH SO USELESS. SCREAM

of COURSE mm is the one to slip and cut her hand and release blood to awaken the monster. of course it had to be her

I'd say that she deserved better but honestly after this her arc really rules and she's one of the few characters to get a happy ending so I can't be too mad

this scene is wild. lwj jumps in and THROWS wwx behind him like 20 ft

jc yelling at wwx to be careful and promising to come back. aw man

also WHY ARE THEY ALL LEAVING. wouldn't it be much easier to kill the false xuanwu if they stay and work together? I don't think wwx even expected lwj to stay with him. he was really ready to stay there and fight it off alone and maybe die in the process. he's unwell!

okay this has always bothered me. WHERE DOES HE FIND THE STICKS THEY ARE UNDERGROUND

that underrobe is so beautiful purely on an aesthetic level ugh he has such good taste. also I like that you can see his bare skin under it like HOW hot was that branding iron jfc

EVIDENCE!!!! EVIDENCE for my 'wwx is intimidated by lwj's earnestness and his fears around commitment/the strength of his own feelings cause him to avoid his feelings because getting too attached/too serious is scary for him even tho deep down he craves it'

wwx casually asserting getting scars/being injured as a...sexy and impressive sort of triumph of masculinity (?) as a young teenager vs. his devastated expression seeing lwj's scars as an adult. he has so much to learn

this translation is so weird. just say inedia?

[linklethehistorian]

Total Eclipse (1995) — A Movie Review by linklethehistorian (Post 4/4)

(Continuation of review placed under the cut for length and spoilers; proceed at your own risk.)

The Takeaway

Having watched this film somewhere upwards of about forty times upon reaching this section of the review (and still likely about to watch it just one time more afterward, in order to gather the clip compilations mentioned earlier and check for any possible errors in my writings here), the one thing that I can say with absolute confidence is that Total Eclipse (1995) is a pretty mixed bag of both good and bad elements.

On the one hand, the cast, the vast majority of the acting, the sets and filming locations, the wardrobes, the music, the chosen color palette, and at times even the quality of the dialogue for the film are all extremely excellent, but on the other, the pacing suffers greatly, the types and timings of the scene transitions are often extremely disorienting or just plain appear unpolished, the timeline of events is often vague at best, and the writing, when it’s not showing off its high points, is otherwise extremely awkward and unnatural, absurdly edgy merely for the sake of it, or just plain unbearably bad.

Most notable and important of all, though — at least, to me — and what makes me personally label it as a “bad movie” despite that I have admittedly enjoyed some other films and different story-driven media much less, is its conscious decision to go far above and beyond the standard “based on a true story” statement to tell us that everything within it is, in fact, 100% real and accurate to the life stories of those portrayed within and taken directly from their letters and poetry, only to then get so much of it so abysmally wrong that at times it is deeply difficult and disorienting to follow even for someone who has dedicated years of their life to studying Arthur Rimbaud and Paul Verlaine’s history in multiple languages.

There were numerous times while watching and writing about this film that I had to turn back to several of my many different notes and sources just to make doubly sure that I wasn’t going crazy for thinking, “hey, that’s not how [event] happened, right?” because the movie doubled down so much on that particular wrong narrative that it bordered on gaslighting — if such a thing was possible for a film to achieve.

…And I have to be honest: I don’t get it. Outside of the theory I have already posited before about wanting to move heaven and Earth to give the film what it deems a happier and more romantic end, I truly don’t understand why it was even necessary to go to such lengths when, in reality, the original, genuine version of the events they are claiming to portray were actually much more interesting than whatever the movie’s interpretation had going on with it.

The most tragic thing about this film being so awful is that it had every opportunity not to be; not only did it have everything going for it in terms of talents, but the premise itself was genuinely great. The true life stories of Verlaine and Rimbaud and their affair are extremely fascinating, dark, intense, and dramatic subjects that would lend themselves more than extraordinarily well to a movie on the big screen — at least if done correctly, with great care taken towards accurately representing those it involves, but the writers here instead decided that it was more important to rewrite and ‘dramatize’ those events and the causes behind them than to care if it was a fair and respectful portrayal.

If this was a completely fictional story about fictional people, then it would be different; I would still personally find it vomit-inducing and creepy, and thus very much not for me as an individual, if it romanticized abuse and demonized a victim while painting the main offender in a pitiful light, but as long as none of it was real, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal — just one of the many fucked up pieces of media that exist out there in the world for those who look for and want it.

But this isn’t fiction; this is supposedly meant to tell a real life story about real life people who actually genuinely lived on this planet at one point just like you or I, and despite this particular movie having become practically impossible to find through any safe and reputable source in very recent years, I have unfortunately legitimately encountered many people whose formative opinions on Paul and Arthur were largely based in one way or another on this film and the very untrustworthy things it alleges — which is honestly the main reason I decided to write this review in the first place: to use my acquired knowledge to clear the air of continued misinformation as much as possible.

…Then again, you do get to see Leonardo DiCaprio pretending to be a dead poet who is pretending to be a dog or a goat at least a few times within this movie, so maybe it all evens out in the end. …I’m kidding, of course — about it evening out, anyway; you do actually get to see that, and David Thewlis pretends to be a goat too, briefly.

In all seriousness, if you don’t care about any of the above historical inaccuracies, and you’re just here to see your favorite actors, or you’re looking for a movie that’s really good at making you feel uncomfortable, then you’ll probably actually get a good amount of enjoyment out of Total Eclipse. …Or if you’re looking for a good second-hand embarrassment simulator — you’d get a lot of that out of this film, too.

Even in spite of everything I’ve said in this section — and the fact that every time I watch it I feel my soul slowly draining out of my body while I sit like a deer in the headlights — it’s not like I can stay away from this film for whatever reason, either; it feels like I make the very inadvisable decision to make the journey over to my preferred website of choice and try to watch it at least every other month even when I’m not writing a review, so…yeah, I’m not really one to talk badly about its watchability.

Anyway, that’s my review of Total Eclipse (1995). If you made it to the end of this, congratulations!!! — …Or…my sympathies; whichever may be most fitting. Thanks for reading, and I hope you have a great day that is hopefully not haunted by the mental image of Arthur Rimbaud barking and panting in a mirror or crawling around in a field bleating.

[Click here for Part 0: Preamble]

[Click here for Part 1: The Good]

[Click here for Part 2: The Bad]

[doomednarrative]

Okay so I started playing RE6 last night (Leon’s route first, got thru the first two chapters) and I have Thoughts (Bear in mind I haven’t played 5 yet, I will eventually but I’m streaming to friends and wanted to avoid some potentially triggering material so we decided to skip it for the sake of that):

- First off. What the fuck is the HUD and UI design in this game. It took me Forever to understand how the inventory worked, how my health bar (and now stamina??) worked, it felt like I was having way too much shit thrown at me at once in a very chaotic opening scene and I was very frusterated for a good bit until I got the hang of what the game was trying to get me to do. Now that I’ve gotten the hang of it I don’t mind it so much but like. Holy shit it felt like a huge departure from the previous games.

- With that said, I will say I love some of the combat changes. Having one button to flip thru my available guns at my disposal was a nice change from having to manually equip each one in a fight, and I Love the changes to making physical knife combat and suplexes/head smashing zombies much more of a viable option for ammo conservation and stuff. I know that was a thing in 4 but I never got the hang of it thanks to limited tank controls of the time. This however felt like a nice evolution of that, even if it was a bit jarring thanks to how much more action oriented this entire game is.

- Helena and the partner ai is a cool extension of that help in combat too. She actually does tangible damage to enemy hoards and can help you recover if you fuck up which is nice. I do think the change to her having to help with literally just opening fuckin doors is stupid tho. (Not the piggyback and toss mechanics, I mean like single fuckin doors. That just feels stupid and weird.) 

That’s all my comments so far for just Gameplay related things. As for Story however:

- Love Helena. Took me a bit to get what they were doing with her, but having the game open on Leon being so unwilling to leave her behind was a good way to get me interested in her, and once the plot actually started picking up I was like “oh okay you’re cool I like you.“

- The first chapter feels like it ambles a bit in terms of plot, but the moment stuff starts picking up in chapter 2? I was actually really into it. 6 overall leans So much into action over horror that it feels very jarring at first and I wasn’t sure how to feel about that, but I did start having fun with it after awhile and I can’t say I’m not enjoying it cause I am.

- Leon’s writing. Oughhh that is my fuckin guy and I love him... I was very iffy hearing that Matt Mercer voices him in this game, not because Matts not good or anything but because hes so different to the other voices of Leon that exist. Even so, he’s done a good job so far from what I’ve heard and I do like it. But just overall even with the switch to action focus, Leon still very much feels like himself to me. Loser who makes jokes to cope and is once again going thru the horrors and unable to keep himself from helping other people even at the cost of his own potential safety. My fuckin guy.

- The score for this game fucks, I absolutely love it, I am listening to it on Spotify as I write this. Definitely one of my faves of the series.

So overall, a bit of a mixed bag on stuff, and I do have some other critiques that I’ll wait to see what happens later on if they get better or worse, but for the most part I’m enjoying it now that I’ve gotten the hang of it. Not my favorite of the series, I like the stuff that leans more horror oriented, but still fun in its own right even if it’s weak in areas.

[agendratum]

i knoooow i shouldn't think too much about my rook just yet, cause again still not enough information to plan anything properly, but i just thought about this added motivation of being, you know, the warden commander's child, THE hero of the ferelden's kid. like "my mother fought for this world, i can't let her down now, i can't let him destroy everything she fought for so easily". and how this could very much create a very special bond between my rook and davrin, who is himself a grey warden and a dalish elf, you know, just like my rook's mother (in the scenario of me actually going through with this headcanon, if the game allows me this freedom). he would of all people there know of the warden commander and what she means for the world. and of course what wardens should do for the world. and yet at the same time both him and my rook, again, would still be elves, even tho rook would really not be that much dalish at this point, growing up with a city elf other mom and also rivain pirates. but still this not-god they would be fighting with would want to supposedly create a new better world specifically for their people, and this is definitely something for them to ponder

tho i guess, would rook in this scenario really consider elves "her people" or would the gang from rivain be her people. for me it's kind of difficult to think where even her mother, ruth, the character i spent all these years in my head side by side with, would stand in regards to this problem. ruth starts the origins very much with the "dalish elves are my people" headspace, and slowly expands the "my people" definition as the journey goes on. (one of the reasons of the difficulty being, well, the fact that i played origins and da2 so long ago, i don't remember many details, just the vague feelings, but anyway) grey wardens become her people, at least the ones from ferelden, the og gang are her people, the city elves are at least the people she should do something for. besides, she would keep in contact with leliana, and leliana is in inquisition, and inquisition learns a looot about the elves' real past. and i imagine leliana would pass this knowledge on to ruth, seeing that to be important, and like, what would ruth even do with it. it would make sense. it would make their lives be based on terrible terrible misconceptions. it would suck. it wouldn't just much for the present. it would change so many things. but would that move her?

i do think tho that she wouldn't want the current world destroyed, given that is the one world that she saved. that's the only world there is to be in

and i also think, that rook would very much idolize her hero of the ferelden mother, very much see her as *the hero*, but she wouldn't know her that well or be that close to her. they wouldn't have that much time together through rook's childhood. yes, ruth would visit, ruth would teach her, but she would also be a typical parent who spends the bigger part of a year on business trips, prioritizing work and the cause. rook would be looking up to her a lot, but would she feel the connection, and therefore would she feel the connection to the dalish, or would it feel more like she *has* to feel that connection, but there is actually none

much to think about

when the game isn't even nearly out and like i don't have any info on how the rook character creator will work but for my own sake i'm writing all this shit down i'm locked in i- shouldn't be locked in on who my rook is gonna be oh nooo 😭😭

[fizzingwizard]

and now a before-bed stress rant

I don't even remember if I bitched about how this term has begun. Suffice to say we are more understaffed than ever, and are relying on so many new hires, some of whom are lit fresh out of college and have zero experience working with young kids. And the thing about where I work is, when I first joined, there was a general policy that new teachers, unless they're very experienced, do their first year at the less busy schools.

Now the bar for experience is low: I was specifically moved to the school I'm at now after my first year because I was then considered "experienced." But IMO that first year really does make a difference. If I'd started at my current school, which is our company's biggest and busiest, I bet I would have quit like I've seen multiple first-year teachers do here. It's so much less stressful to learn the ropes at the smaller schools - which still have plenty going on! I found my first year very hard! - but at least I had room to make mistakes and figure things out. Here, the fact is we get by on the details. Everyone needs to know their part inside and out. That is what the company didn't value and why we're in such a jam now. They didn't value the workers who busted their butts for years, instead insulted and blamed them, and are now surprised that everyone except me and one other teacher quit. (Two are hanging on as subs, but one was at least partially, hmm, begged? bribed? lol. and they will both leave for good soonish)

The new teachers are having a rough time. I was out sick for two days recently, and while I wasn't there apparently there was some meeting in which a bunch of grievances came out, and someone even cried. It's only May for heaven's sake x'D the hard part is yet to come. we haven't even begun school events...! But that's how it is - the new teachers have just had so much dumped on them and had to hit the ground running because we don't have time for them to learn. It is fucking stupid. They are all great and really working so hard, but when me and a couple more experienced teachers brought up that we are exhausted and have child safety concerns because we are having to do too much classroom management on our own, the new teachers took it personally. Of course we assured them none of this is their fault (it's the company's!!!) and they are good people who took us at our word. But that kind of stressful feeling doesn't just evaporate. We need to find our rhythm, and in the mean time it is very difficult to hash out repeat problems without causing hurt feelings.

Now these past two weeks make it difficult for me to believe I was on a break in the first week of May lol. Part of that is getting sick. I had a great first week back, then the kid with the seizure thing happened - and the next day I had a fever. I got such a bad cold and in the end completely lost my voice. But I only have a few days of PTO left for the whole rest of the year, so I didn't want to use it all up. Plus, this week one of my coworkers was going to be off the whole week, and another off two days. Being so understaffed, we really can't afford teacher absences unless they're really necessary. So I've been going in, but most of the time I've feel tired, brain foggy, and congested. (For some reason the kids are all uber healthy tho lol)

Usually you get sick, lose your voice, and it comes back after a few days or a week. But it's been two weeks and I still can't talk about a whisper. I sound like a chain smoker. My hope when going back to work was that my coteachers would take over the talking. But I felt doubtful because I have two classroom coteachers, one I've worked with for a few years and she is just not a loud or talkative teacher, and the other is one of those new grads who's never worked with kids before. The first coworker did try her best. She's really amazing in so many ways. But it wasn't nearly enough help. I still had to talk so, so much. And that coteacher has so much writing in Japanese she needs to do during the day. While she's doing it, it's just me able to lead the kids. The new coteacher just doesn't know what to do. Anyway, she's been out this whole week and we've had a rotation of subs.

So I got sympathy from work, but really nothing to help my voice actually recover. There's no sub who could teach for me. I'm straining my voice every day and it's making me uneasy, although I know it does sometimes take longer for your voice to come back. I'll go to the doctor if it's still bad this time next week. But I really wish someone at work would have had a way I could get a little extra help during this time the kids can barely hear me unless I hurt myself shouting. I've completely lost all soprano notes lol.

Instead, work, while unintentional, has been even worse for me than it would have been normally. Because of the teacher absences, we've had that rotation of subs - but by subs I mean random part-timers, random admin, and random teachers from the older kids' school stopping in to help for a while and then leaving. These are good, helpful people - they just don't know the kids, don't know their personalities, don't know the behavior strategies that work with them, don't even know their allergies/medical info. It's so much pressure on us regular teachers even when we're healthy and have our voices. We should have actual subs who are trained in the school routine, but we don't. Once in a while, not being able to find a sub and having to rely on a non-teacher is just the reality and we have to accept it - but this has been happening consistently for over a year, on top of ever so many teachers quitting, and I've heard it's not just at my school but across all schools. Low pay, hard work - go figure!

I really needed someone with a voice and I have not been able to get it. Some coworkers and I were talking about company shadiness and I pointed out that although we work X hours, we only get paid for Y of them. So every time we work more than Y, the company is getting free work from us. (Overtime is on an approval-only basis and you never get it if you ask for it - company has to ask you. Doesn't matter if it's because the company assigned you too much to do.) Since we almost never get even half of the unpaid time available to take a break during the day, and nearly always have to work through it, it's pretty much like our hourly pay is less than it actually is because it's divided over the X hours instead of the Y hours. But the company doesn't tell you that :) because you COULD take the break if you want :) it would just mean you aren't able to finish your work at least without taking it home :) :) and then you'll get fired! :) :) :) absolutely nothing shady about that no sirree

if you are not paying me to work for you during a certain time... then I should NOT BE WORKING during that time. or you should pay me.

i mentioned to my coworker that the understaffing bugs me because when i was hired i was assured that regardless of teacher student ratio, there would be three teachers in every classroom. i wasn't surprised that that wasnt true for really small classes (I once sat in on a class with three teachers plus me as an observer, and only two kids x'D it was definitely overkill. it was because the other kids were out sick... but still they only totaled 6 :P). However, when my coworker said that sort of thing ("as long as we're still in ratio only two teachers is fine") I had to say "yes but the amount of work and duties we have is for three teachers, and no adjustment is made to the work load if you have only two" and then the coworker was like oh no i totally agree it's for three. And now imagine you have just two teachers, one of you is brand spanking new, and the other is a random admin because your usual coteacher is out sick... and you have three teachers' worth of work to do and twelve one-year-olds to take care of. and one-year-olds are feral. so are twos and threes. but ones in particular bc they have no sense of self-preservation and some of them think biting other kids is just a fun way to kill time.

and NOW imagine that same situation and cast AND... you have to lead these one year olds who can barely walk without tripping (or at all, in some cases) down several flights of stairs for an emergency drill. OMG. it is freaking chaos. i honestly don't know how we do it.

and on that note... here's how we do it: by the grace of god go I. It's not JUST luck. We are all hard workers and we care so much about our students. But we are only human. I keep trying to impress on the upper management that more PREVENTATIVE measures need to be in place, and that starts with actually staffing the school how it's meant to be staffed. But I doubt anything will change unless something big and awful happens. And I don't want something like that to happen, of course. That's why we scrambled to cover the company's ass - not because we care what happens to the bigwigs, but because anything that goes wrong is probably going to involve a kid getting hurt. I would much rather the company just fix things and not have to have some traumatic scenario play out first. Also might as well mention that, despite all our warnings, if anything does go wrong, it will be the teachers' fault. Maybe the company will take some sort of hit, but we exhausted, overworked teachers will be the ones whose jobs and reputations could get ruined. I don't want kids to get hurt, and I don't want me to get hurt.

It has me tearing my hair out over how silly and avoidable it all is. Just stop undervaluing pre-K teachers. Your whole line to sell our school is about how vital early education is and how you have this specialized curriculum about learning through play. Then you treat the teachers like we're babysitters. Despite all the lesson planning we do, and all the art project, science projects, sensory activities, grading, paperwork, school events, and more, that are required of us. Lol. If I'm a babysitter, I'd like to have a babysitter-level work ethic. I babysat when I was a teenager so I know. Put the kid on the couch with a movie and stick some chicken nuggets in the microwave, make 20 bucks an hour. BTW, these days babysitters often make more than that, and guess what, I get paid almost half that hourly x'D obviously more consistently! but still.

you know going into pre-K that this is what the pay's like, but I def wasn't prepared for how much work unrelated to watching the kids would fill up my unpaid break time, is my point.

anyway when will my voice come back from the war :P

[noir-minhyuk]

Watch me forgetting about this blog >/////<

[vanillanaps]

Not So Forbidden | Bucky Barnes

Summary: You were upset after a mishap that happened so your favorite bodyguard came to comfort you with good news.

A/n: I watched a movie called First Daughter and got inspired to write something cute and soft. It's kinda ass tho so beware.

Category: Bodyguard!Bucky x President’s Daughter!Reader

Warnings: Reader is 23, Bucky is in his late 20s/Early 30s, some crying on the readers part, the ending is rushed cause my creativity ran out lmao

Word Count: 1.8k

♡♡♡♡

“Care Bear secured.” One of your many bodyguards called into the mic that hid in the sleeve of his blazer as you crossed the threshold to your room, slamming the door behind you.

Just moments ago you had been dragged from an outing with one of your very very few friends as your bodyguards thought there had been an opposing threat. Turns out, there was just a loose dog running the streets and had scared a few people, but they had refused to take you back to your friend and continued to drive you back to the oversized house that you had been calling home for the last eight years.

You missed having the freedom you used to have before your mom decided to run to be President of the United States and won. It was like everything changed in the blink of an eye for you. Once a little girl who could run amok outside without a care in the world to a girl who had to be the perfect child for her mothers sake. Of course before, you were happy your mother was chasing her dreams and doing what she had always planned to do when she was growing up, you just wish that you knew that it’d come with sacrificing your public and private life.

A knock on the door pulled you from your thoughts, wiping your tears and clearing your throat, “I said I wanted to be alone.”

“It’s me.” The voice called. You recognized it immediately.

James Buchanan Barnes or as you would call him, Bucky. He was the head of your security team and ironically, one of your best friends. Bucky had been at your side nearly every day for the last five years when he got promoted to head bodyguard. In your opinion, he should have truly been a bodyguard for your mother. He had always done a superb job at keeping you safe, neutralizing threats and knowing when it was actually time to pull you from somewhere that may have started to get dangerous or too crowded.

Walking over to unlock the door, not even bothering to open it because you knew he already had his hand on the knob just waiting to push through. Shutting the door behind him, he watched as you walked over to your vanity, still trying to dry your eyes.

“What happened?” Bucky asked, slowly approaching up behind you.

“Oh, your buddies didn’t call it out to you?” You scoffed, shaking your head, “Apparently a stray dog running the streets is a threat to my safety now and they whisked me out of there, leaving my friend behind and all.”

“They were just doing their job.” He tried to reason with you, but he knew how much you hated not being able to do the simple things in life without stuff like this happening.

Turning to look at him, you furrowed your eyebrows at him, “Right, so where were you? Where was the knight to save his damsel in distress from a damn dog? Isn’t that your job? To be by the helpless princess’s side twenty-four-seven?”

“I was in a meeting with your mother.” He stepped closer to you, “I’m sorry, if I was there, that wouldn’t have happened—but you can’t be upset with them doing what they are paid heavily to do.”

“God Bucky, I know, I know. I’m not mad at them, I’m—” You huffed, taking a deep breath as you tried to control your tears, “I’m mad at the fact that I will never have a normal life. Everywhere I go, there’s a group of big beefy men following me around, cameras flashing in my face, news reporters covering every little thing I do. My skirt too short? I’m a slut. I don’t smile in a picture? I’m the president’s stuck up daughter. If I smile too much? I’m faking it for the cameras. Almost every friend I’ve tried to make in those short two years I went to college? Just using me to get popular while talking about me behind my back. I just can’t win.”

Bucky sighed, “I know..”

“No, Bucky, honestly you don’t. Every day, when I walk out of this god forsaken place, I have to put on a smile and a personality that doesn’t belong to me. Everything that I do reflects on my mother and what kind of daughter would I be if I ruined something that she worked so hard for?” You ranted, “I mean, she’s the first female President of the United States. She’s making history and I’m so proud of her, but it cost me everything, Bucky, everything. To the point where I can’t even hold the hand of the man I love in public because he’s my bodyguard.”

“Come here.” He held his hand out which you gladly took as he pulled you into his body, wrapping his arms tightly around you, “I’m sorry, baby.”

You relaxed in his embrace, sighing as you buried your face into his chest, smelling that cologne you bought for him not too long ago, “You have nothing to be sorry for, it’s not your fault.”

Kissing the crown of your head, slowly rocking the two of you from side to side, “I can’t change what happened earlier, I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I can’t change the reality of the life you live, but if I could pull you through a portal and take you to a universe where you were just a normal girl, I would. But there is one thing I can change.

Smiling softly at his words, you pulled back a little to be able to look up into those blue eyes that you loved so much, “Yeah? What’s that?”

He returned the smile, bringing his hand up to cup your face, his thumb slowly stroking your cheek, “Your mother said something similar to me earlier,”

A FEW HOURS EARLIER…

Bucky knocked on the door that led to the oval office after he was requested there.

“Enter!” His boss's voice called.

“Madam President.” He addressed her, keeping his position by the door, “You wanted to see me?”

“Ah, yes, Mr. Barnes. Please, shut the door and have a seat.”

He followed her wishes, shutting the door and sitting in a chair that was adjacent to her desk, “Is everything okay, Madam President?”

She smiled, moving her stack of paperwork to the side and taking off her glasses, “Everything is fine, James. No need to worry. And please, right now you may call me Diane.” Bucky’s heart was beating out of his chest, was this a set up? Was he being tested? Was she being threatened? A thousand thoughts flew through his head as he thought something was wrong, but before he could ask, Diane spoke again, “You may call me Diane because I didn’t call you here to talk to you about presidential or security reasons. I called you here to speak to you as a Mother to Y/n.”

Bucky gulped, deciding to play it cool, “I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

Diane chuckled, “James, do you take me as a fool?”

“Of course not, Madam President.” He answered quickly, playing it safe just in case this was a test.

She sat back in her chair, crossing one leg over the other and folding her hands over her lap, “Five years ago, when my only daughter turned 18, I knew that whether I was president or not, I wasn’t going to be able to keep an eye on her forever. That eventually, she’d want to venture off on her own and I wouldn’t be able to stop her. I needed someone who I could trust to keep an eye on her while she tried to navigate her life. I was talking to your father about you before his passing. He was telling me how dedicated you were to your job, even if you were only guarding a door, so I promoted you to Y/n’s head bodyguard as I promised him that you’d always have a job here as long as I was president.”

Bucky’s eyes glossed over at the mentioning of his father’s passing. It may have been some years, but you’d never truly get over the loss of a parent passing, “I’m not sure If I understand what we’re talking about.”

Diane continued, “James, over these last few years, I’ve been how close you and y/n have grown. Your secret whispers, inside jokes, the looks you give each other when you think no one’s looking, the way you look at her when you think no one is watching. Even sneaking out almost every night.” His head dropped. This was it, he was getting fired. He had broken the number one rule and fell for his boss’s daughter. He went to speak, but Diane kept going before he could, “And I want to thank you for being there for her and making all of this the smallest bit easier for her.”

When Bucky slowly looked up, he saw Diane with probably the most genuine smile he’d ever seen from her, “You do?”

She nodded, “After I was elected President, I knew life for the two of us would never be the same. That we’d always be in the public eye and crucified for everything that we do, which is why in those first few years of my presidency, I shielded her from it. Kept her in the house and out of the public eye for as long as possible and the best thing I could've ever done was make you her bodyguard because you make her happy. She’s sacrificed so much for me, what type of mother would I be if I kept her from being with the only person who makes her feel normal?” She questioned, more so to herself than to Bucky, “Do you love my daughter?”

“More than anything in this world.”

“Then who am I to stand in between love?

PRESENT…

Your eyes were wide and filled with tears as Bucky told you what happened in the meeting with him and your mother. To say you were shocked was an understatement. You were so sure that you and Bucky were being careful enough not to get caught, “She knew this whole time?”

He nodded, “And she’s okay with it. She just wants you to be happy.” You couldn’t stop the smile that took over your face before you excitedly pulled him into a kiss. Bucky gladly returned the kiss, titling his head to deepen it. His hands traveled down to your waist, gripping the flesh to lift you up into his arms. Your legs naturally wrapped around his waist as he carried you to your bed and laid the two of you down on it, “I’m gonna marry you one day.” He mumbled against your lips, “I’m gonna take you away from all this. Maybe move to the country, somewhere far away from others and give you all the normalcy and privacy that you crave today.” A soft sob left your lips as you pressed your forehead against his, “Until then, I’ll be here, right by your side until your mother finishes her Presidency.”

“I love you so much.” You sighed, listening to his words.

“I love you more, baby.”

[emohee]

hii! Can I ask some reaction about rich yandere kinda bully niki with a childhood friend reader ? ( why do I see him literally seeing the maid’s daughter and he is like “she is mine” yet he is always a bully but nobody can even look at his little bride or else… and by the years its just getting out of hand ) btw I love your works even tho you just started I wish you good luck and lots of love ✨weee✨

rich!bully!yandere!niki x reader

- ,, pairing : yandere!niki x fem!reader

- ,, genre : yandere

- ,, tw : yandere themes

- ,, word count : 647

- ,, yuri's note : THIS IDEA IS 😩💯, i had so much fun writing this lol

西村 力

backstory of your relationship<3

as a child he would steal your candies and hide them around the villa where you lived

you always knew it was him and so one day went to argue with him but he denied it all and ended up making you cry

you really didn't want to be next to him, because he always made fun of you, but your mother forced you to play with him, so as not to create any kind of conflict and not to be eventually fired

then you got to the age where you started going to school

he always forgot the books at home and so he took yours from your backpack, to make it seem that you forgot the books instead.

when you drew at school, he always tore up your drawings :(

in elementary school niki was bearable but in middle school he became your nightmare

once you fell in love with your classmate and niki noticed it so during a speech niki was giving to the class (with everyone present) he told everyone that you liked your crush, and everyone started teasing you & laughing at you, not much after your crush started to avoid you and at that point you just wanted to disappear.

luckily that happened in the last year of middle school, so you didn't have to suffer for long

in high school, you fell in love with your best friend, you often invited him to your house, and when you, your friend and niki met, niki always said some horrible things to your friend so much that he no longer wanted to come to your house

but obviously that didn't change anything in your relationship, you still remained best friends

one day you decided to confess and your best friend was about to accept the confession, but by chance niki came up with his group of "friends" and started teasing you heavily.

in a week the whole school knew about you and your bestfriend.

your best friend decided to change school and told you he never wanted to see you again because your love confession had ruined his reputation

and you were left alone once again

a short time later niki began to come to your room more and more often to talk to you, but of course you didn't answer him and did everything to ignore him

"answer me, talks to me or I'll tell my parents to fire your mother, and you don't want that, do you?"

you told your mom about this, and she begged you to talk to niki cause she couldn't lose her job like that

so you started hanging out with him just for the sake of your mother's job

your relationship now<3

always wants to hold your hand

wants to go out with you almost every day

"you are the maid's daughter, your mother is my parents' maid, while you are my maid so do your job and go out with me"

used to say stuff like

"hahaha! the loser likes me! pathetic" "don't touch me ew"

now says stuff like

"y/n you don't want to hug me? are you afraid of blushing? aw how cute! y/n got a crush for me!" "hold my hand or i'll fire your mother<3"

loves to tease you

feels bad and tries to be softer with you if you get offended

tries to make you blush

"y/n your hoodies are trash, wear mine instead"

often calls you "shawty" or "bunny"

takes a lot of pictures with you

tells his friends you're secretely his girlfriend

he wants to be the only one in your life, in fact he's your only friend

is actually planning marriage and children

"nishimura y/n sounds really good-"

"excuse me what the f-"

he has saved you in his phone as "未来の花嫁💗" (future bride💗)

he has a picture of you as a baby as his wallpaper

your daily texts <3