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suffarustuffaru · 1 year ago

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actually here’s an interesting question that’s been in my head for a hot minute now: what do you think a crusch if/other faction if would look like?

one of my favorite characters has always been crusch (probably my favorite aside from julius?), and interestingly it was the moment after the battle of the white whale that sold her for me- her convo with subaru was so genuine and full of respect and it since then has stood out amongst my favorites since it’s one of the first times subaru outside of the emilia camp was recognized for his decisions ^_^

it also piqued my interest because there’s definitely implications/said somewhere that if subaru met crusch first he’d choose her, which makes me think about how that dynamic would play out, ya know? like we haven’t really gotten a huge expansion on crusch herself as we have with anastasia/pricilla and soon felt

also a crusch: if would toootally have different relationships defining wilhelm & felix too and basically everyone else lol

love ur analyses keep up da good work fam!!!!!!!

YO its cool seeing a crusch fan around :DD !! also thank you very much for liking my analysis posts pfft. also whew….. ive been writing my answer for this ask on and off for a while hah its super long oops wkdndnsn

but ok its super interesting to hear what drew you to crusch in the first place - crusch is a character im definitely interested in (i would LOVE to see her finally expanded upon!!) and shes such a respectable person for sure <3 and you definitely have a point that its one of the first time subaru outside of the emilia camp was recognized!! though i didnt know that there were implications that if subaru met crusch first he'd choose her - i suppose that makes sense in that subaru really respects and likes crusch, and hes such a moldable character - for lack of a better term - bc its sooo easy for him to go in all sorts of different directions. a crusch if is an interesting possibility and im sure it absolutely wouldve happened in some form in some other universe :O !!

alright. as for a crusch if - yeah youre right, thered be such a different dynamic between subaru, the crusch camp, and everyone around them. :o im not Entirely sure how a crusch if would go but i certainly have ideas!!! though im not sure if im entirely an expert on them given i still havent finished the wilhelm-centric ex novels or read many crusch camp stories, but i did read ex 1 and 4 and enjoyed them quite a lot <3 along with you know, the main route. but i do really like the crusch camp and i hope theyre expanded upon eventually.

gonna put More thoughts under the cut (note that i have a Lot of opinions on the crusch camp hah):

ok first of all. i think that the crusch camp Does have a little wasted potential in canon and i think that crusch if is the perfect opportunity to explore Everything with crusch camp. just in the sense that you know, crusch hasnt been expanded upon just yet. not that felt has been expanded upon much either but at least we get a lot of details about her and her whole backstory with being a member of the royal family + her relationship with rom opens itself up to a lot of possibilities (theres a lot of History going around in the felt camp regarding felt, reinhard, carol and grimm, rom, etc being in the same camp given their family connections, demihuman war history, etc).

and not that we Dont get details about crusch of course, but i feel that even in her Own centric content, shes a little overshadowed by Everyone else sometimes. like i WANT to focus more on crusch as a person!! she gets cool moments yeah, but as much as i enjoyed reading ex1 im forever gonna be salty that her plot in ex1 was like about people having problems with her gender expression (ill go into this again later bc i know its connected to that plot point of crusch as a noble leader vs crusch as. a woman.) for more than half the runtime and everyone around her was discussing about what to do with her. and then in main route shes put through the RINGER between being cut down by gluttony, having her memories erased, and the dragon blood in arc 5 - and yet it STILL feels like the story doesnt focus enough on HER own pain. how is SHE feeling about this????? shes getting her shit rocked left and right and her sense of identity is being shaken along with it (see: her becoming more shy and withdrawn after her memories are gone) and yet i feel like we STILL dont hear about her Directly enough T^T

and also i Dont like that in the main route, the crusch camps connections to the royal family (with wilhelm being assigned to aid the royal family and bc of that heinkel was assigned to the white whale and so theresia went in heinkels stead + ferris and crusch's relationships with fourier) ARENT that explored. esp when like felt comes into play publically in arc 3 and the crusch camp BARELY REACTS. YOU THINK THEY WOULD REACT MORE TO FELT BEING HERE AND REINHARD SPONSORING FELT. its especially kind of painful after you read ex1 and its like ?? so why didnt they react more to felt being there??? related to + looking exactly like crusch and ferris's dead boyfriend, nonetheless, esp when their goal is to kill the dragon bc the royal family all died as far as they knew and NOW theres someone in the royal family that actually lived???? whos a rival for the throne now??? also i feel like the potential of like. ferris and wilhelms dynamic isnt explored either. like i have to wonder how they seem like theyre on decent/good terms in canon when ferris is friends with reinhard, wilhelms role in the demihuman war, and also wilhelm fucking up his family (with ferris being Aware of a lot of reinhards family situation, of course). and also of course wilhelm has Things going on with rom and carol and grimm bc demihuman war... ex novel things...

so like i think that inherently the crusch and felt camps ARE kind of sort of intertwined in this way bc of ALL these reasons. so i think if youre exploring crusch camp content all of this SHOULD be acknowledged. or maybe thats the felt camp fan in me talking but i DO GENUINELY THINK THE CRUSCH AND FELT CAMPS ARE CONNECTED A LOT ☝️☝️☝️

and so ok back to crusch if things!!!! i have no idea how the Exact plot goes but like i think this is all very dependent on how the crusch if divergence even starts. which Makes sense but yeah :o i mean i feel like i can only see it happening right from the get go in arc 1. and also this goes with what you said - if subaru met them first he'd probs choose to join them. but tbh i also kinda sort of like the possibility that maybe at least Some of arc 1 still happened in another font so subaru can be like "yeah lol this blond girl with red eyes was there along with this giant dude and t -" and crusch and ferris are thinking "OK IT COULD BE ANY RANDOM GIRL WITH BLOND HAIR AND RED EYES THATS NOT A COMPLETE GUARANTEE ITS SOMEONE FROM THE ROYAL FAMILY RIGHT??" and also wilhelms gonna vaguely go "hey whats this giants name again....." anyway yeah gotta plant those seeds for future plot things???? yes. also its a good segue into subaru learning more crusch camp related history yes. maybe that (subarus arc 1 info) is what allows him to join crusch camp too????? yeah im having trouble brainstorming ideas on how he even joins the camp but im guessing its a “subaru accidentally stumbles across stuff and crusch camp is like well i guess we just Kinda have to let you in……. like taking pity on a stray kitten…… maybe youll be useful… and also we do pity you a bit yeah you seem very lost” thing. 👍👍👍

(or alternatively you could have subaru branch off into crusch camp at arc 3 or smth given hes like actually physically at their place and away from emilia camp now but at the same time i doubt that could even happen given the position he was in arc 3???? like post-royal selection drama?? yeah i dont really see it happening imo HAH)

anyway. yeah so its like. inevitably subaru is gonna figure out you know the history behind all of the others in the crusch camp. like whether thats by doing his own research - especially bc you know wilhelm, crusch, ferris are all very well known by this point and have all kinds of rumors and info on them flying around - and also like. by getting closer with everyone. i think that if subaru joined crusch camp early, either he knows hes got rbd bc of arc 1 and manages to avoid it for a while, is my guess, given crusch camp doesnt get involved in life threatening things until. the white whale.

but until then i think subarus probably not gonna die. and i think hes probs gonna be in Fear of that happening again, maybe he blocks out a bit of arc 1 some more bc ahhaah i havent died or anything in so long so surely that never happened. maybe he tries to tell crusch once he gets closer with her or maybe he doesnt try at all bc hahaha did that even happen???? or maybe he asks her about her dp and if its Only about truths from that persons pov rather than Fact and shes like "yeah no its personal truths only, so even if someone is completely wrong about a fact but Believes it wholeheartedly its still gonna register as the truth" and hes like FUCK ok. smth like that?? yes. gotta give him inner turmoil even when hes not actively in danger. bc he Would have that yes. but either way i think he’d be curious and wanna know the specifics of her dp anyway!!!

yeah so anyway the white whale happens and subarus whole shit gets wrecked oops.... and my guess is that you know hes gonna loop a whole shit ton of times and its gonna be complete and utter hell for him. but also this is kind of a little bit dependent on how exactly the royal selection goes for him - but i HIGHLY doubt itd go the same as canon. i doubt he’d even make a scene, tbh—i mean assuming subaru joins crusch camp very early somehow, between crusch and ferris and wilhelm the three of them are gonna Really whip him into shape. metaphorically beat his s1 flaws out of him. bc like—i mean in canon subaru Did learn and grow yes, but he didnt Have to learn everything so harshly (ok but canon subaru Did have to get beat in the duel though or he wouldve died skcbsnd but i still think that subaru can still learn the same lessons more Gently whenever possible. hes a normal teenage boy trying his best!!). i think crusch camp would be good for him in this way, i mean crusch is a very duty-focused person and ferris and wilhelm are blunt people. ferris especially is not gonna take any bullshit wkdndnd (ESPECIALLY when subaru could humiliate crusch and the entire camp) and wilhelm sees himself in subaru and is gonna go “ah…….. you should. not act like that. let me train you.” and ALSO im a firm believer and enjoyer in the reinhard-ferris-julius friendship and i think that reinhard ESPECIALLY must have communicated with crusch camp about felt before arc 3, otherwise crusch camp wouldve had a stronger reaction to felts grand entrance into the royal selection. also if subarus getting closer to crusch camp then of course he figures out stuff like the reinhard-ferris-julius friendship.

again not entirely sure about specific plot beats but depending on how things go emilia camp may or may not get royally fucked (as an emilia camp enjoyer im very saddened by this 😔) but i DO feel like subaru would still be sympathetic towards them in a crusch if. and also theres Definitely gonna be at least one loop during arc 3 where the white whale Does erase crusch and wilhelm and ferris goes insane (like how they end up in pride if. yeah.) so subaru gets to see the consequences if they lose to the white whale. but i DO think that the final loop should still have the consequences of crusch being targeted by gluttony and losing her memories. its interesting to explore!!! especially if subaru himself still becomes a victim of gluttony in some way—maybe they both become victims of gluttony there?? or it happens to subaru later?? and i feel like arc 5 is Definitely another opportunity for some crazy looping. for sure.

also roswaal may want to try some shit bc Why is subaru in another camp this is not according to plan. so more opportunities to torture subaru 👍👍👍 and also crusch camp in canon keeps taking one L after another so you know. familiar territory in terms of how subaru and co are doing 😭😭😭😭

but anyway. i think a crusch camp and felt camp alliance (or Almost alliance?) is in order bc. well we know subaru he tries to fix things. hes nosy. he learns eventually All the crusch camp history and is like ok so why arent we allies with felt camp at least for rn??? like urging wilhelm to make it up with reinhard and such, etc etc. and crusch and felt are the candidates that are both Very deeply unsatisfied with the current system of lugunica and want to remake everything to be better!! and also like. how does ferris even feel about wilhelm. i lowkey want crusch if to have a plot beat where ferris-crusch-subaru metaphorically beat up wilhelm for being Terrible. actually scratch lowkey i want highkey. and i think crusch is just like yeah sorry i do respect you in a lot of ways wilhelm and youre a very key member in our camp and i appreciate it but also fighting against demihumans in the demihuman war + being awful to your family was definitely. 😬 ESPECIALLY since she grew up with ferris too okay. she and her dad literally took in ferris after being stuck in a basement for the first nine years of his life. and while ferris and reinhards family situations are Very Different, the common thread is generational trauma and Passed Down abilities/traits that also relate to the trauma so. i feel like ferris at Least has some secret strong feelings about wilhelm ok i dont care what tappei has to say on this (actually i do care but i will care less if tappei has a bad take on this bc ferris and reinhard are FRIENDS + WILHELM WAS WRONG FOR THE DEMIHUMAN WAR ok ferris was horribly abused also bc of fantasy racism).

and alright ok im gonna talk about some more crusch-ferris-subaru dynamics bc subaru and wilhelm are most likely gonna fall into their weird grandson-grandfather dynamic again. especially now that subarus in crusch camp.

so—gender expression. the way crusch-ferris-subaru dress and their relationships with this part of their identities. personally i hc all three of them as nonbinary but of course u can have different hcs/opinions than me :o either way though, gender expression is Very important to all three of them and its given focus in the plot multiple times so im gonna try to examine how its handled in canon a bit!! theres this one bit from the arc 5 wn that i think about a lot:

so you know, subaru has his internalized issues, toxic masculinity for one, so hes struggling with like. being a man but also like he genuinely enjoys crossdressing but also hes been judged for it in the past and he has?? complicated feelings on it. hes struggling with his identity and who he is in many many different ways and gender is one key aspect of it. and then he comes along and crusch and ferris BASICALLY challenge him and his internalized ideas on it—crusch being a woman who dresses more masculine and ferris being a man who dresses more feminine. they challenge even the fantasy world’s society too—crusch more so, bc shes a woman and in the public eye due to her family and shes expected to dress and behave the way a noblewoman should. more feminine. but she refuses which is a point of contention in ex1 of course…

ferris seems to get less scrutiny from the public on this (at least for This exact reason, we only see subaru iirc judge him for it on screen) but my guess is bc he 1. can easily pass as a girl and 2. he has other more Noticeable traits to the public (having the Blue title and being demihuman for example). but also theres another aspect to ferris and its that he also dresses femininely to represent “the feminine side crusch lacks” iirc…. which. to be quite frank thats. that feels a little odd to me but anyway im gonna choose to look into it a bit regardless bc i think it could potentially be interesting maybe?? but also the fourier-crusch duel in ex1 already felt off to me wkfndnd it was such a fun scene but like??? why are we policing what crusch wants to wear??? but. anyway.

so about ferris being “the feminine side crusch lacks”……. ferris and crusch's gender expression are completely opposite, ferris being feminine of course and crusch being masculine. ferris and crusch are very much like each others equal halves in canon - you dont find one without the other, theyre basically a pair (especially given they fit together into this perfect trio with fourier and now fouriers gone :(( ). ferris and crusch balance each other out in a lot of ways, especially given ferris's mischevious yet perceptive personality and crusch being more serious but a bit airheaded with emotional matters. and also both of them being more blunt honest people. so like their gender expression balances each other out bc theyre opposites. ferris wants to keep balancing out crusch, whos so focused on duty that her needs and her desires and emotions sometimes go by the wayside (id personally attribute at least a tiny bit of her airheadedness with emotions to this too - when you have so much responsibilities to attend to, your emotions often take a backseat. especially when you take into account people judging crusch for how she expresses herself....).

but also ferris does note that "because crusch-sama said this suits ferris, what i am, i am, and this most suits the radiance of ferris' soul. crusch-samas words, ferris will repay with everything that i am". im gonna interpret this as crusch recognizing that ferris truly likes to express his appearance in a feminine way and providing ferris with the means and support to do so, especially since crusch herself growing up also prefers to express herself as opposite to her biological sex and also bc crusch and her family took in ferris so they grew up together. which i think is very sweet <3

and also more regarding crusch, in canon she expresses herself more femininely after getting her memories wiped by gluttony........... i think there might (emphasis on Might) be vaguely a kind of "feminine=weak and masculine=strong thats why crusch goes back to being feminine after memories gone" undertone if you choose to see it that way but im Electing to ignore it. i think crusch's change in expression post-gluttony though like emphasizes how her identity gets shaken after her memories are erased. she was a confident person before and now shes more timid and withdrawn bc she isnt sure of herself or her abilities anymore :(( which is definitely smth that should be explored in Any crusch camp centric content, i think.

anyway. yeah also i def think the ferris-crusch-subaru gender things should be explored. its already briefly touched on in canon with stuff like that arc 5 wn snippet i shared, but i do think subaru being friends with ferris and crusch will help him with confidence regarding how he likes to express himself as well. which i think would be very sweet to explore <3 (sorry this briefly derailed into a ferris-crusch-subaru gender expression analysis but this part of their characters is important i feel aljdlfjsldfj and its SUCH good parallel between them)

as for general dynamics stuff between the three of them. i think ferris is on the fence about subaru at first and goes from "hes an idiot..." to "hes an idiot <3" i have no specific thoughts on this at the moment thats just the vibe thats probably happening. maybe a bit of the same with crusch but yes im sure crusch and ferris of course grow to respect subaru, and im sure they notice pretty quick that subaru wears his emotions on his sleeve. hes an honest person in almost all things, or at least he tries to be, unless hes being held at gunpoint to keep things secret bc rbd lajdlfjl. and we Know subaru is a very respectable person whos Really good at heart, he just had all these hurdles to get through. and also - subaru is a tiny bit similar to fourier in terms of like Loud, Passionate, Determined, kind of an idiot in a few ways but a Lovable one, that sort of thing. of course ferris and crusch are VERY MUCH not going to be replacing fourier. absolutely not they would never in a million years. but fourier like Really fit in with ferris and crusch bc of the three of them having different personality traits, so i think subaru would fit well with ferris and crusch for similar reasons. if that makes sense. the energies just match up. ferris and subaru particularly bring a lot of fun and lightheartedness and ease weight on crusch’s shoulders, crusch supports them both, and all three of them reel each other in in different ways <3

ok also regarding any romance............ personally i dont see the appeal of crusch x subaru but thats just me lajsdlfjls and also my heart got stolen by fourier x ferris x crusch oops. plus i do enjoy the ferris and subaru + subaru and crusch friendship possibilities. but if anyones reading this and is a fan of crusch x subaru feel free to send me propaganda for it bc im very curious as to what makes you really like the ship <3

yeah so anyway. this has been my extremely long explanation as to how crusch if could maybe go and also all sorts of stuff id love to see explored when it comes to crusch if or crusch camp centered content in general <3 its hard to tell how a crusch if would go further down the line bc you know, the more that changes from main route the more things go Different, but i think its fascinating to think about. hope this kind of answered your question op? :O :D !!

ok but as for other camps. i have absolutely no clue how itd go but ana camp would Definitely have to involve subaru trying to invent things that carry on from earth and such and felt camp Absolutely involves more trying to solve more astrea drama. no specific thoughts on this yet (ALSO I STILL HAVENT CAUGHT UP ON ANA CAMP SIDE STORIES... ONE DAY. I SWEAR.) but you know, lots of interesting possibilities here!! :O

#rezero #crusch karsten #ferris argyle #felix argyle #natsuki subaru #wilhelm van astrea #i always forget to tag both of ferris's names fr....#ask #tldr i really like crusch camp they got a lot of potential for exploration and i hope theyre explored more bc theyre very interesting <33 #and i think crusch and ferris sadly have their characters flattened a lot in english fic :((( theyre so fascinating they deserve so much #better #AND CRUSCH DESERVES TO SHINE EVEN MORE THAN SHE ALREADY DOES IN HER MOST BADASS MOMENTS

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randomposterofstuff · 4 years ago

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An in-depth analysis of Mikasa’s character development in relation to Eren and Levi

Author's Note: Hi, all! As I was re-reading and going over my previous post/analysis titled "On the change of dynamics of Mikasa's relationships with Eren and Levi," I realized that there were some points that I should've/could've included. Lol. I also came up with other points of analysis as well as arrived at other realizations concerning Mikasa's connections with Eren and Levi. So, I've decided to post them here. This post can be considered a continuation of the previous analysis since it supplements and further expounds on the last post's points. But this can still stand on its own since it also talks about additional issues. Haha. If you want to read the previous post, the link is up there. Hehehe.

Fair Warning: This is a very long post. Lol.

This post will analyze the following:

1. How Mikasa's connection to Eren is rooted in their shared history. This was already touched upon in the previous post, but this post will expound more on this.

2. How Mikasa's character development is affected by Eren's own character development. How her development as a character is affected by this will also be discussed. This segment will also analyze how Mikasa's connection to Eren became strained because of the latter's drastic change in the latter part of the series.

3. How "Chapter 138: A Really Long Dream" is about Mikasa finally letting go of and "waking up" from her dream. This post shall also analyze how Chapter 138 is actually the climax and turning point of Mikasa's character development concerning Eren.

4. How Eren represents Mikasa's dream, while Levi represents her reality. This will be further expounded on later.

From the foregoing topics, it’s clear that this is a primarily Mikasa-centered analysis. Haha. I just had so many thoughts running through my mind about her development that I was eager to make this post. Lol.

So, anyway, we now delve in:

1. Mikasa's connection to Eren is rooted in their shared history.

In the series, most of Mikasa's actions and reactions tend to either revolve around or be connected to Eren. About this, it is necessary to take into account their relationship and shared history.

Before Mikasa met Eren, she was a young girl who lived a relatively peaceful and quiet life with her loving parents. But then, all that changed when human traffickers killed her parents in front of her eyes and kidnapped her to sell her as a sex slave.

During this time, she was just an innocent young girl who hadn't experienced much of the world yet. So, one can only imagine the pain, shock, and trauma that she must have felt during her brief period of captivity. Being so young at the time, she was understandably shaken and scared – having had her family and her innocence forcibly and violently taken away from her.

However, hope came in the form of a young Eren who had gone looking for her on his own when he and his father discovered her parents' bodies. When he found her, he wasted no time taking action and immediately killed two of her captors before freeing her. When the third captor arrived and tried to strangle Eren, he told her to fight. At first, she was scared to do so, as evidenced by her shaking when she held the knife Eren used to cut her binds. While he kept telling her to fight, memories suddenly flashed in her mind, and they made her realize that they lived in a cruel but beautiful world. During this time, her dormant "Ackerman powers" awakened and thus gave her the strength and courage to actually fight and deliver the killing blow – thereby freeing both herself and Eren. As we all know, in the aftermath, the Yeagers took Mikasa in, and Eren gave her his scarf when she said that she felt cold.

As mentioned before, Mikasa and Eren's shared history is important. This is because it defined the early dynamics of their relationship. Eren was literally and figuratively her savior. He saved her from captivity and from a potential future of abuse. He also saved her from loneliness and despair. When she lost her biological parents, she found a new family in Eren, Grisha, and Carla. The Yeager parents treated her warmly and kindly, and Eren was her constant companion (apart from Armin, of course). Having experienced the severe trauma of violently losing her parents, she never wanted to lose anyone precious to her ever again. This is evidenced by the following situations in the series:

a) When she and Eren desperately wanted to save Carla from the Smiling Titan in Season 1. Neither she nor Eren wanted to leave her behind. So, when Hans carried them away to safety, Mikasa was visibly crying and heartbroken.

b) When she attacked Levi with tears in her eyes when he initially declared that he would use the Titan serum on Erwin instead of Armin. Armin, alongside Eren, was one of the most precious people left in her life. As such, the idea of losing him was painful. When Levi eventually decided to save Armin instead, Mikasa wept tears of joy when Armin fully recovered after eating Bertolt.

c) When Mikasa cried upon seeing Sasha's dead body. While the development of their friendship wasn't fully shown, it was clear that Sasha meant a great deal to Mikasa as the former's death affected her deeply.

About Mikasa not wanting to lose anyone close to her, it is evident and apparent that Eren was the most special person in her life. This is not surprising since Eren was the one who literally saved her, and there's also the fact that he was the only one left of her adoptive family. Apart from these, I think that the following reasons are also possible and probable causes as to why Eren was the most special:

a) Eren was her source of hope and strength. When she fell into despair when she was kidnapped, Eren gave her hope when he came to her rescue. It was also during the struggle against her captors that she awakened her inner Ackerman power. So, she might have attributed her then new-found strength to him.

[Side note: I'm aware that Eren was lying when he commented that Mikasa had responded to his "command" to fight back then because she mistakenly thought that he was a "royal host." In the “Attack on Titan ANSWERS” guidebook, Isayama-sensei himself stated that "[Mikasa, Levi, and Kenny] are all part of the same Ackerman bloodline. However, their reasons for protecting their respective counterparts do not have anything to do with the bloodline itself—it is just their nature." When I said that Mikasa attributed her then new-found strength to him, I was talking in figurative and emotional terms. Lol.]

Screenshots taken from Season 1, Episode 6 of the “Attack on Titan” anime

b) In her eyes, Eren represented the good in their cruel world. Because of Eren, Mikasa realized that the world is cruel but is also beautiful – meaning that there's also good in it

Screenshots taken from Season 1, Episode 7 of the “Attack on Titan” anime

My take is that all of these things shaped and formed the beginnings of Mikasa's connection to Eren. Their shared history influenced Mikasa's overly protective nature towards him and her affection for him. Eren was the foundation of her strength and a constant reminder that there was still good in the cruel world they lived in. As such, she would have done anything to protect him and all that he meant to her.

This is particularly important as we proceed to the second point of this analysis, which is how Mikasa's character development is affected by Eren's.

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2. Mikasa's character development is affected by Eren's.

For the most part of the series, Mikasa has been characterized by her strong urge to protect Eren. The reasons behind this protective nature of hers have already been expounded earlier. At this juncture, I shall now discuss how Mikasa was affected by the kind of person Eren used to be.

Specifically, this portion of the analysis will be divided into two (2) parts: the first will be about their character developments during the pre-Marley arc. The second will be about their developments during the Marley arc and going onwards.

a) Pre-Marley Arc

As previously mentioned, Eren was her literal savior. And she saw firsthand how he would willingly place himself in danger to protect others. She appreciated Eren's good-nature. And she likely saw him as a sort of embodiment of the things that make the cruel world they live in more bearable and more beautiful.

It is essential to consider the kind of person that Eren used to be before the Marley arc. Before the truth of the world and the Titans was revealed, Eren was a mischievous and stubborn child. Still, at the same time, he was also good-natured, determined, selfless, and courageous. His resolve, courage, and desire to protect others were further amplified when the Warriors of Marley attacked his hometown of Shiganshina and when the Smiling Titan ate his mother.

The early stages of Eren's development are relevant to Mikasa's own development. Due to his well-meaning nature and their shared history, Mikasa felt strongly inclined to side with him and protect him at all times. While this is understandable on her part, it has also proven to be problematic.

Her disposition towards Eren impaired her judgment

For instance, it has been shown on more than one occasion that Mikasa's affection for Eren has impaired her judgment. This has been exemplified in the following cases:

a) Back in Season 1, when both she and Armin thought that Eren had been killed, Mikasa went on a reckless rampage on her own against the Titans which invaded Trost. To be fair, she was grief-stricken under the circumstances. Nonetheless, her actions were still irresponsible, and she nearly lost her own life because of them.

b) When she recklessly went after Annie in her Female Titan form after the latter had captured Eren in the Forest of Giant Trees outside the Walls. Mikasa would have probably been killed had Levi not arrived. Furthermore, because of her rage towards Annie during this time, Mikasa disobeyed Levi's order not to engage Annie in battle. Her decision endangered her; it also resulted in Levi's injury, which rendered him unable to fight for some time.

It also narrowed her priorities and way of thinking

As mentioned in my previous post, Mikasa is not cruel or heartless towards others. It has been shown that she has empathy for innocent and helpless people. This is likely because of her own experiences with being powerless. The following instances exemplify this:

a) When she saved Louise and her mother from one of the Titans that had invaded Trost.

b) When she threatened Dimo Reeves with her sword when he refused to allow the district's defenseless citizens to pass through the pathway leading to the protected areas until all of his merchandise and goods were carried through. She only relented her threatening demeanor and actions when he had this cart moved to the side to make way for the citizens to pass.

However, because of the extent of her concern and devotion to Eren, Mikasa seemed to disregard nearly everything else whenever he was in danger.

An example of this was during the Struggle for Trost and Eren's military trial in Season 1. When Eren transformed to begin the mission to seal the Wall, he initially lost control and attacked Mikasa and the others. It is worth noting that it was unintentional on his part. However, that does not change the fact that his loss of control nearly jeopardized the mission and placed his comrades in danger.

While the mission was ultimately successful, Eren's loss of control was still a serious source of concern. Because of this, he was temporarily imprisoned. It was also decided that there would be a trial to see if he was either a threat or an asset to humanity within the Walls.

During this time, Mikasa was understandable apprehensive, and worried about Eren. It is worth noting that, as mentioned in my previous post, she was more concerned about him than the fact that he was still a potential threat at the time. It should be remembered that during this time, the inhabitants of Paradis (save for a select few such as the royal family and their followers) were ignorant of the truth about Titans and the world. As such, the fear directed towards Eren was valid and understandable. Yet, despite this, Mikasa was still singularly focused on him.

This is evidenced by the following:

a) Her glaring at Rico when it was revealed that the latter had mentioned Eren's loss of control in the report that they had submitted. When Rico responded with, "Did you expect me to lie in a report?" Mikasa simply continued to glare at the Garrison soldier. On this, Rico was clearly in the right for telling the truth since Eren's powers were still a mystery and still potentially harmful to others. Yet, Mikasa was probably too worried about Eren to realize this.

b) When she attempted to attack Levi when the latter began to physically beat Eren. She would've undoubtedly intervened had Armin not stopped her. I had already expounded on this in my previous post, but I will just add the pertinent excerpts here:

"The display was necessary to emphasize and prove that Levi, who is widely known as "Humanity's Strongest Soldier," was best suited to subdue Eren should he lose control of his abilities. Because of this, the Scouts were able to convince the Military Police and Premier Zackly that they should be given custody over Eren. At the time, Mikasa was gravely concerned about Eren's well-being and was perhaps too furious at Levi to think about anything else. Because of this, she probably did not immediately realize that Levi had effectively secured Eren's relative safety at the end of the day. "

"During the trial, the MPs spoke of planning to dissect him, among others. Conversely, the Scouts proposed that he participate in an upcoming scouting expedition to determine whether he is a threat or not. They also suggested that Eren be placed under Levi's direct supervision so that he could be subdued in the event of an incident. While the latter proposal still entailed some degree of violence, it was far less hostile and more beneficial to Eren than the MP's proposal."

To conclude this part, I think that Mikasa focused more on the fact that Eren never meant any harm. And she probably thought that Eren should not be punished because of this. Again, all of this shows how Mikasa was inclined to always side with Eren (even though his actions may sometimes do more harm than good) because of his good and well-meaning nature and their shared history.

b) Marley arc until the present time

The second part of this segment shall now discuss how Eren's drastic and dark development affected Mikasa.

As mentioned before, Mikasa always sided with Eren because of their past and his good nature.

However, when Eren began changing for the worse, their relationship began to deteriorate. As mentioned in my previous post, they slowly but surely drifted apart until they lost their common ground.

At the start of the Marley arc (which is the beginning of the fourth season in the anime), Eren's personality had noticeably become darker. This is evidenced by his horrible actions, which endangered and cost lives, such as the following:

a) When he executed his and Zeke's plan to raid Liberio so that they could both escape to Paradis Island. As a result of this plan, countless innocent civilians and children were killed in the process. Furthermore, several of his comrades from the Survey Corps/Scouting Regiment lost their lives, including Sasha.

b) When he initiated the Rumbling with the intention to destroy all of humanity not residing within Paradis Island. This plan and course of action would eliminate both their enemies who were actively plotting to attack Paradis and millions of innocent civilians and bystanders.

At this point in time, Eren had changed from a good-natured and compassionate soldier dedicated to protecting innocents to a depressed and violent extremist. This change was triggered by the revelation of the truth about the world and his gaining access to the memories of the past and future inheritors of his Attack Titan.

With regard to how his terrible change affected Mikasa, it is clear that she was clearly disturbed by it.

Mikasa had begun to acknowledge that Eren was no longer the "good" in their cruel world.

During the raid on Liberio, she was visibly distraught and affected by Eren's destructive actions. It seemed that she was in disbelief – she even asked him if he was aware that he did things that cannot be undone. As mentioned in the previous post, Mikasa was even more distressed because Eren consciously caused the destruction and did not appear to show any remorse.

It is worth noting that Mikasa's empathy for innocent and defenseless people, especially children, was highlighted in this scene. When she asked Eren if he was aware of his actions' consequences, there were tears in her eyes.

Screenshots taken from Season 4, Episode 6 of the “Attack on Titan” anime

At that point in time, Mikasa had begun to realize that the Eren she once knew was no longer with them. She had started to see that Eren no longer represented the good in the world; and that he had become a source of what makes it cruel.

Mikasa felt conflicted because she was in denial.

Throughout the Marley arc events up until the Rumbling arc, Mikasa still held on to the hope that Eren could still change for the better. It is true that she believed (or maybe desperately wanted to believe) that Zeke was manipulating him, but does not change the fact that Eren was acting on his own accord.

On several occasions, Mikasa had expressed her desire to talk to Eren and kept insisting that sense could still be talked into him. I think that this is an indicator that she was in a state of "pseudo-denial."

I used the term "pseudo-denial" because, from how I see it, Mikasa was already aware that Eren was no longer the same person who saved her. That he was no longer the same person who insisted that Historia eat him so that humanity can be saved. That he was no longer the same person who would jump right into battle to protect innocent people; that he had turned into someone who had harmed and would continue to harm innocent people. However, it appears that Mikasa did not want to accept this fact. This is why she kept insisting on talking to Eren in the slim chance that he could still be persuaded to abandon his plan of initiating the Rumbling. She was torn between reality and her personal sentiments. In short, she still hoped that the kind person who stood up for the helpless and who saved her from bondage was still in there somewhere. This exemplified by this scene from Episode 14 of Season 4:

Screenshots taken from Season 4, Episode 14 of the “Attack on Titan” anime

This pseudo-denial placed her odds with her allies and comrades. The others, such Armin, Annie, and Levi, had already accepted that Eren needed to be killed in the worst-case scenario. On this, it's apparent that Mikasa knew that they were right considering the circumstances. But she still felt conflicted because she still hoped that Eren could be convinced to not go through with his plans. However, that hope was dashed when Eren himself told them that the only way to stop him was to kill him. Yet, even then, she was still hesitant and conflicted.

Mikasa had matured because of their strained connection and had begun outgrowing her bond with Eren.

In a way, Mikasa was still holding onto the past. On this, Eren's dark character development is what caused their relationship to deteriorate. As previously discussed, Mikasa's connection to Eren is rooted in their shared history and the type of person he used to be. In the past, Eren was her savior, her family, and her source of strength and hope. But when he stopped being those things to her, the foundation for their bond was lost.

While it is tragic and drastic for Mikasa, this caused her to become more keenly aware of other priorities. She became more cognizant of the stakes involved rather than just focusing on Eren. Although she still cared greatly for him, she was no longer singularly focused on him. She became wise and mature enough to not turn a blind eye to the danger and threat that he posed. This in sharp contrast to how she acted in the past. Before, she would always place Eren's welfare first before nearly anything else. But because of recent developments, she finally began to realize and understand that there were other things more important than Eren. And I think that this is a significant turning point for her since he had affected and influenced her for most of her life.

Before Chapter 138, Mikasa was still in a state of "pseudo-denial" because of her hope for a more peaceful solution in dealing with Eren. But I think that the fact that she started feeling conflicted was the start of her process of outgrowing her bond with Eren. This is because she knew that she could no longer just turn a blind eye to his actions and their devastating effects.

The significance of her process of outgrowing her connection with Eren will be further expounded in the next point of analysis below.

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3. "Chapter 138: A Long Dream" is about Mikasa finally letting go of and "waking up" from her own dream.

It has already been established that Mikasa had dreamed of living a peaceful life for the longest time. She dreams of one that is similar to the kind she once had with her parents. In particular, Mikasa wanted to live such a life with her loved ones, particularly Eren. The "dream" she had during this chapter is evidence of this.

It is unclear whether what Mikasa saw was a dream, a hallucination, a vision, or, as some fans speculate, a memory from an alternate reality. In any case, it was not the reality that she lived in.

I've already stated earlier that her process of outgrowing Eren and their bond was significant. Concerning this, I think that the said process was part of a slow build-up towards her decision to finally let Eren go and kill him.

As previously mentioned, Mikasa seemed to have difficulty accepting that the Eren of her past had turned into the Eren who wished to destroy all of humanity outside of Paradis. She had struggled to fully acknowledge and accept this fact because it was too painful for her. However, as the situation started to become more drastic and desperate, she realized that she had no other choice but to face reality.

But even though she knew this, she still felt conflicted. Even when Eren told them that the only way to stop him was to kill him, she was still hesitant. She knew what needed to be done but could not accept it because of her attachment to Eren.

On this, I think that the "dream" or vision (or whatever it really was) that she had during the battle is representative of the kind of life she wishes and dreams for. When she, Levi, and the remaining Titan shifters were the only ones left to fight, she started having another headache. And when Levi told her that they were the only ones left who could kill Eren, her head pain intensified until the dream/vision started playing in her mind.

This is my take on this moment: the headache represented Mikasa's conflicted feelings. She knew that Eren needed to be stopped to save humanity. She knew that the rest of the world did not deserve to suffer from the cruel fate that Eren wished to bestow upon it. But her emotional attachments held her back from taking action. As for the dream/vision, I think it was her way of arriving at an epiphany and decision. And on this, maybe it was this dream/vision that gave Mikasa the resolve and courage to finally accept the reality. I will expound further.

In the dream/vision, Mikasa was crying. She said that she "shouldn't be there." And then dream-Eren spoke about their decision to run away from the Marleyan-Paradis conflict so that they could live in isolation and in peace during the last few years of his life. Dream-Eren then apologized for "bringing up the past."

Screenshots taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

I personally think that this was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. During this dream/vision, Mikasa finally realized that her wish and dream to live a peaceful life with Eren could no longer come true. Her dream was born in the past, and if there was any chance of it happening, it had already passed by. Mikasa finally realized that attaining her dream was already impossible at that point.

I also think that when dream-Eren told her to forget about him after he dies, this could be interpreted as Mikasa realizing that if she were to finally have a quiet and peaceful life, then Eren would not be a part of it.

Screenshots taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

Furthermore, Mikasa saying that she "had a long dream" could mean that she finally let go of her life-long wish/dream so that she can wake up to the reality she needed to face. It could be interpreted as her choosing to give up on Eren for good to make the world a less cruel place. On this, her decision to kill Eren herself was likely her way of letting him go and saying goodbye. It was the climactic resolution and outcome of her internal conflict where she struggled to choose between doing the right thing (saving humanity) and holding on to the most special thing in her life (Eren). In the end, she chose humanity over him because she knew that if she chose him, then their already cruel world would become darker and crueler.

Screenshot taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

A quick note on Mikasa saying that she can’t forget Eren:

Some people might say that Mikasa’s declaration that she can’t forget Eren means that she decided not to let him go. I personally disagree with this. It is completely possible to move on from someone and let them go without forgetting them. In Mikasa’s case, I think that by saying that she won’t forget Eren, she meant that she will always remember the peaceful, good, and happy times that they had together. I also think that it means that she will fondly remember Eren as the good person he used to be.

I think that it’s understandable and fair that Mikasa chooses to remember the good times and the good things. Because, for better or for worse, Eren was still a huge and influential part of her life. The old Eren and the good times they had together were very much real, and the happiness she felt during those times was also genuine and valid. I also think that her decision to wear the scarf around her neck before delivering the killing blow was her way of saying, “I’m letting you go. But I will always value the good moments we had together. Goodbye.”

Screenshot taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

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4. Eren represents Mikasa's dream, while Levi represents her reality.

This is a personal take and interpretation of the possible symbolisms connecting Mikasa and Levi in Chapter 138.

During the final battle against Eren, only Levi, Mikasa, and the titan-shifters were left to fight. And during this battle, Mikasa started to have her dream/vision. While dealing with her conflicted emotions, she began to drift to her "dream" about Eren and away from reality. And while she was drifting away, Levi kept telling her to "stay with [him there]."

Screenshot taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

This could be interpreted as Levi being the voice calling out to her to stay in the current reality and not get lost in her distant and impossible dream. It is interesting to note that before she began "dreaming," an image of Eren as a child was shown, followed by a panel of a close-up of Levi's mouth with no dialogue. Meaning that everything around her had already faded away before she was immersed in her dream during that time.

Screenshots taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

This could symbolize the inner conflict and turmoil that Mikasa was experiencing. She was torn between holding on to the past and accepting the present.

When she woke-up, both literally and figuratively, Mikasa had decided to let go of her dream and of Eren. She finally accepted the reality and returned to it. She returned to Levi's side and faced reality alongside him.

Screenshot taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

Following this line of thought, this symbolic moment could foreshadow the kind of relationship they would have in the future. Considering that this final stand against Eren might very well be the most important battle of their lives, it would be reasonable to assume that they might form a deeper connection and relationship in its aftermath. They finished it together, so perhaps (and hopefully) it means that whatever the future might bring, they would also face it together.

Going back to how Eren and Levi are symbols, Eren represents her dream. Eren is not only a part of it; it is also linked to her past. Mikasa knew that her dream was impossible to achieve at that point and that it was necessary to finally let it go.

Levi, on the other hand, represents her reality. The reality she currently lives in is cruel and harsh. However, she can control what she does in it and what she makes of her life in the said reality. In other words, her reality is full of possibilities and various choices. This is in contrast to her dream of a life with Eren, which was impossible to attain. Furthermore, she only had two (2) choices as to what to do with the dream. It was either to keep holding on to it despite its impossibility or to let it go completely.

Thus, it can be said that Eren represents and symbolizes “what could have been”. Whereas, Levi represents “what could be”. Prescinding from this, there really is a good chance of Mikasa and Levi growing closer in the future.

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Author’s Note: Well, that’s all for now. Lol. I know that this post is very, very lengthy. Hahahaha. So, I really appreciate you guys for taking the time to read it. I tried my best to make it as organized and as clear as possible. I hope that it makes sense. Haha. I might post more analyses in the future. Hehehe. Let me know your thoughts and opinions!

#rivamika #levimika #mikasa ackerman #levi ackerman #levi x mikasa #mikasa x levi #eren jeager #eren yeager #eren jaeger #eren and mikasa #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk

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hellothere-generalangsty · 3 years ago

Note

I HAD A BRAIN WAVE MOMENT

DO YOU REMEMBER WAYYYY BACK WHEN EVERYONE HATED ASOKA? DAVE DID THAT ON PURPOSE SO HE WAS IN CONTROL OF WHAT PEOPLE HATED ABOUT HER. OK NOW THIS MIGHT BE A LONGSHOT THAT HOPEFULLY DOESN’T END UP LIKE LONGSHOT THE CLONE, BUT, IM HOPING THATS WHATS DAVE IS DOING WITH TBB. BEING IN CONTROL OF WHAT THE FANDOM HATES ABOUT IT AND THEN IMPROVING IT SLOWLY BIT BY BIT.

PLEASE IM DESPERATE FOR A EXPLANATION!

(also where’s my explanation about why the clones are white washed, dave? hmm? where is it dave?)

OMG LOOK.

It wouldnt excuse the whitewashing or the weak scenario, because he got us used to some good stuff now (tcw s7, Mandalorian, that kind of things)

But it would make sense - to a certain extent - to work that season as a "cliché team in a cliché scenario" and see how people react to be able for a second season (if there's a second season) to improve it

Disclaimer: I'm a white, abled person so I'm not trying to speak on behalf of poc/disabled people, but I think it's important to support them and listen to the critics they make about SW and it's content

Also this is quite long I got carried away but worth it it is!

I linked some of @rebekadjarin 's post here because I read a bit through her blog today and agreed with her posts; and I invite you to check out the "#whitewhashed tbb" if you want more extanded and developed information about that matter! (As my knowledge on the matter is still quite limited/ incomplete due to my privileges, and this post is more of a summary than a real analysis)

So here, we know that the fans are unhappy about:

- the whitewashing of the Bad Batch (especially since they proved they could animate dark skinned people/ more generally poc with the first seasons of tcw, Kanan in Rebels and the Separatist in the latest TBB episode)

It is a real problem and it shouldn't have happened in the first place. Even if they are different, the Batchers are still clones and it's really not that hard to show their enhancement while keeping Temuera's features and skin colour (I mean, look at all the artists who did and do it everyday on this app; no excuse here)

Star Wars has wasted a lot of potential on numerous occasions because they keep doing stuff like this; and it's quite ironic (and very sad) to see that racism, ableism and stereotypes are prevalent in a universe where people fight for equality and peace...

Here and here are two posts about it (if you're the author of these posts and want me to delete them from my post please tell me so; I took the liberty of adding them because I think they highlight quite well the issue and do a clear job at showing the whitewashing in SW/ around the clones)

- the way Crosshair is treated; both by the Batchers and the writers, he's manipulated by the chip yet no one is talking about rescuing him and we see nothing about the effect of his absence on the Batchers (they don't mention him, don't try to save him, and Hunter is more distraught by Omega's absence than by his own brother's)

And don't get me wrong, Omega is a kid and she's nice, of course they have to take care of her and protect her

But they also don't know her purpose; why is she here? She could be a bad omen (maybe she doesn't even know it! The Kaminoans probably didn't tell anyone about her real purpose and I stand by the idea that the infos they got about her are all wrong and purposefully misleading) and I have the dark feeling that she will be the end/ death of the Batchers by the end of the serie, even if she didn't wanted it that way

But Crosshair is never mentionned, except for when he's needed in the scenario. Which is a shame, because he's a Batcher too even if he's mind-controlled and (for now) working for the Empire. He's supposed to be a main character, and he's a key element to the plot; yet out of 10 episodes we saw him in only 3, and only the moments where he was acting bad (i'm excluding the lonely moment at the end of ep2 because it had a lot of potential about him fighting the chip but that was all we had and i'm still bitter about it lol)

Here is a post about it

- speaking of plot; I feel like it's always the same disk playing since episode 2-3: They have a mission given by Cid, they do it, things go wrong, Omega saves the day and they get the money.

Crosshair is doing bad guy stuff so no need to tall about him (haha right?)

Now. I'm a good public. I know when to activate the Dummie™ in me and enjoy a show about a found family doing crazy jobs for a criminal and raising a newly adopted daughter at the same time. It's fun, it's sweet, sometimes it get emotional and the animation is beautiful (the lights are amazing I am always in awe)

I can enjoy it and be in awe and see Echo sniffing food and Tech smiles and Wrecker playing with Omega and feel happy about it.

But I also expected more. I hadn't any clear idea because I didn't wanted to set expectations (how ironic) but I can't help but feel sad about the wasted potential around Empire! Crosshair and the rise of said Empire.

If you want to antagonize one of the main character, do it, but do it fully and do it well. Show us Crosshair getting really invested in a plan to catch the Batchers and suddenly making a scene for a tiny detail that could blow it up; show us Crosshair and Hunter fighting each other hand to hand after they disarmed each other, and Crosshair getting the upoer hand until something holds him back; just enough for Hunter to take control again

Show us a complex character who suffers but doesn't fully realise it, and show us brothers mourning yet hoping to get the family back again you know?

- the way Echo is treated by the Batchers. And as much as it saddens me, they do him dirty in the show.

Echo is a war veteran, an ex- prisoner and a disabled character. He went through a lot; first he lost the Domino squad, then he lost brothers on Kamino (including 99 who was close to his squad), then the Citadel happened and he lost both his legs, an arm, his freedom, his brothers and probably any hope to be saved.

Then they found him in that freezer, and he probably realised that, if Fives wasn't here to save him, it meant he lost him too.

Then he left Rex to go with a team of 4 because he probably didn't feel like he belonged with "regs" anymore; he chose strangers over brothers because he thought he couldn't find his place there. Which in itself is sad and problematic.

And now he's with the Batchers, and they don't seem to grasp the importance of his trauma. I mean; they always had the 4 of them and never lost a brother (apart from Cross; which is another wasted potential here because they could have exploited that trauma and made a parallel with Echo being so used to losing brothers and them experiencing it for the first time on such a personal level you know) and they do some crappy stuff to him.

Selling him as a droid? Not cool.

Brushing off his trauma for a mission and some credits? Not. Cool.

And Echo can't say anything because he chose them, and now he has nowhere to go anyway because Order 66 happened; and he probably doesn't want to be a burden to Rex, and he probably doesn't want to abandon his brothers especially now that Cross is gone and they have a child to take care of

But yeah there are a lot of things happening - or NOT happening - around Echo and his trauma and his disability that are wrong and people are right to talk about it

Here is a post I read and I agree with it

- Overall, the way the show and the characters are handled; they often feel very stereotyped/ cliché and the basic plot doesn't really help for character development or improvement

I read a post about it and it was really interesting; they linked the whitewashing of the characters with their abilities/enhencement

Tech and Crosshair are the smartest and the whitest in the group (which is bad)

Wrecker is portrayed as the Bid Dummie™ and he's the one with the "darker" skin and the features closest to Temuera/ Maōri features (also very bad)

Hunter is straight up a Rambo with a face tattoo, and Echo - and you guys know I love him - is whiter than a sheet of paper (all so bad)

Not only this, but there is no improvement in their personality or thinking

They don't seem to evolve, and just like their mission, they end up playing the same song over and over again

Hunter is the broody soldier and though people enjoy talking to him as a Dad (count me in) but he's not a good dad for Omega (he calls her soldier and is always acting awkward and uncomfortable around her)

Wrecker could be a better dad for her; but again they display him as a big dummie and give the impression he couldn't take well care of her

Tech is here to be the smart one, we only see him when they need someone to do the smart speaking and the complicated computer things

Echo is the grumpy reg, the "more droid than man" and sometimes the Mom™ but they never show him talking about the Empire or the trauma or how the I am not Freaking Out™ I did came back for this Shit™ he's just here to... Be here and be grumpy and bring the oldest clone wars fans to watch TBB

And Crosshair is almost non-existent.

Here is another post about it

What could it be then?

So either Dave is pulling a Ahsoka on us; but he'll still have a lot of things to correct and explanations to give because I can excuse a bad plot but I draw the line at blatant racism ans ableism (especially when they KNOW the fans and they KNOW what people want and they KNOW it would probably bring more people to enjoy and get invested in the show)

- If he's doing this, he will probably work with the animator to correct the whitewashing (because it really is the only really wrong thing in the animation, the rest of it is quite good to be honest like the light, framing and all)

- Understand that Tbb and Mandalorian are two different shows and cannot be treated the sale way; so he'll get back to the main plot and hopefully work on Crosshair's arc and hos his absence/ him being controlled by the chip affects him/ the Batchers/ their relation

- He'll probably work more on displaying the effect of their trauma; collective and personal, and see how it reflects on their relations (and give Echo the healing he deserves)

- By extension, give the characters more depth and complexity, dig their stereotypical surface and reveal their true nature (show me a ruthless yet easily overwhelmed Hunter; a smart but constantly anxious Tech, a very emotional Wrecker playing the big explosive dummie to protect himself, etc.)

Well, that's what I would do

Or he's just... Doing this and not planning any changes; in which case I'll probably do what I did with SPN s15: stop watching, scroll through tumblr to get some infos and gifs and tell everyone about how dirty they did the characters, and they did us.

But I really hope he's hearing us and taking our remarks into account; the show in itself had a lot of potential and I'm still hanging on the thin hope that the ending could "save it"; but I also have no expectations and am in fact waiting for a disappointing ending

On a brighter note, I'm glad the fandom exists because I see artists and writers and gif-makers and theorists and all kind of people creating and sharing their own content, headcanons, art, writing and they all feel right and better than the canon

Like yes, give me a in-character dark skinned clone who deals with his trauma and the sudden changes around him in a realistic way

Tell me about the real effects of the war on soldiers, and the truth behind the corrupted government taking over the galaxy, and the efforts everyone has to make to survive, exist and live together

If Dave and his team cannot do it, I know you guys can and that's why I'm glad to be here too; you give me hope when they fail to do so 💙

I hope I like... Answered this correctly? 😂 I got carried away but yeah, though I'm usually not vocal about it and try to enjoy it with my Dummie Energy™ I still see and read about what you all think, and usually I agree with you; the show deserved better and we deserved better

Now back to ignoring the canon and writing a fic about my very much alive and beloved Fives 🥰

#star wars #the bad batch #tbb #mesa shitposts #mesa answers #namesmox 💗#thank you for your ask!#it's a long rent #but I'm glad I did it #if you feel like I said something incorrect please do tell me #I am still learning #and I want to educate myself about these matters because it's important #echo #crosshair #tech #hunter #wrecker #omega #personal opinion

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fangirl-on-bitches · 4 years ago

Text

Bittersweet

Javier Peña x Female!Reader.

Word Count: 4k approximately.

Summary: You and Javier have a particular way of saying goodbye, so particular you get a surprise when you get back to the US.

Warning: a lot of cursing, a bit of pregnancy shenanigans, a lot of dialogue and a little messy plot and timelines lol.

A/N: Okay, listen before you continue. When I was younger I used to write, maybe not with the best grammar or the best plot, but sure as hell with a lot of creativity. Now I just can’t be that creative to write a complete fic or hc, so if you find this boring or a waste of time I’m really sorry. If you like this, I appreciate it as I really made an effort to finish it (a crapy ending anyways). I’ll be sincere, I had this idea and couldn’t get it out of my head so I wrote it. I feel like the scenarios aren’t realistic to what could happen in real life (I feel like they are forced or way too dramatic) I really hope I don’t waste your time. (and yes, I chose the name in honor of Pedro’s role in triple frontier)

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You were cursed. Definitely.

You were back in the states, had been for a few weeks, enjoying the warmest sun Miami had to offer along with Connie. You loved relaxing by a peaceful beach after years of chasing after Escobar with your life on the line every hour of every day.

That day you were really excited to wake up and meet Connie to go to the beach, it had been so long since you saw her and little Olivia. You felt at the same time a little uncomfortable with your body that day, bloated and kind of heavy, like there was extra gravity, but the excitement overwhelmed whatever other feeling you might be having.

The beach had some people because it was a nice day, so you lounged along Connie and baby Olivia, eating fried fish with chips as it was beach food. You were laughing at something Connie said about Steve, something about being a pain in the ass, which you agreed with. It was all fun and games until you felt horrible nausea and a pushing need to vomit. Connie, being observant noticed immediately.

“What’s wrong?” before you could answer you ran to the restaurant’s bathroom, puking whatever food you had that day. Connie came close behind you. She gave you a paper towel so you could wipe your mouth.

“Okay, I might be sick.” you admitted flushing the toilet.

Of course, your mood just plummeted to the ground when you were sitting in a private room in the hospital. Connie couldn’t check you, but she was looking for her friend on-call, meanwhile, you looked as baby Liv (as you called Olivia) slept peacefully by your side.

You didn’t like hospitals. They reminded you of your time in Colombia, and although you weren’t shot, your compañeros might have been shot multiple times. There had been too many close calls and so many lives lost, you just got the creeps whenever you heard a gurney moving.

Soon, Connie came back and carried Olivia outside, leaving you with her friend. She presented herself, and asked routine questions. How are you feeling? What happened? Does something hurt? Is your period late? Did you fall and hit your head? Do you have any diseases? Or do you take any medication?

“I do have nausea and I threw up after eating.” She nodded as she took your blood pressure. Then you started thinking. You were thinking really hard.

Your period was late, you didn’t remember how late, but it was late. Two months ago, Steve and you caught Escobar. Steve went straight back home and you had to stay, to finish completing paperwork. Then Javier was back in Colombia to follow the Cali Cartel, but you were assigned back to Miami and couldn’t stay.

To be fair, you were glad to be back home, but you really missed Javier. When shit went down with Los Pepes you were pissed off at Javier. You knew he usually overstepped the line to get intel, but this time he had stepped so far off the line, he wouldn’t be able to see the line.

The night before he left you decided you would drink your consciousness off because you hated to even think that Javier Peña was living in Colombia; after a glass of a really strong Rum and Cola you decided against it and knocked on Javier’s door.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, suggesting that he wasn’t up to listening to more of your nagging. Your head had a million thoughts racing, you wanted to tell him so many things varying from ‘you are an idiot’ to ‘why the fuck did you do this?’ but the only thing you articulate was something like ‘I don’t want you to go’

Javier’s face softened, although you cast down eyes couldn’t actually look at his face, he had stepped aside and invited you inside. “Do you want something to drink?” you shook your head, looking around the apartment. It was almost empty, but it has been pretty empty since the beginning. You sat on the floor, Javier following with a beer in his hand.

“Will you come back?” you asked him, but you already knew the answer.

“I don’t think so, it depends on the higher ups in the states” you nodded, looking at him. You were really going to miss him. “Look, it’s not like we won’t see each other anymore, when you guys catch Escobar-” you laughed humorlessly. How long would that be? Months, another year perhaps?

Both of you stayed in silence for a while. “I should go.” you told him, standing up, he stood up as well.

“You shouldn’t go.” He told you, squeezing your shoulder tenderly, a familiar touch. You looked at his sweet dark brown eyes, a silly small smile playing on the corners of your lips.

“What do you mean? You have a plane to catch tomorrow.” you remind him, wondering if he was drunk, he clearly wasn’t. His hand, which was still on your shoulder, moved to cup your face. For a second, you were lost and didn’t understand what was happening, until you looked at his eyes again and understood. You didn’t wait for him to lean down, you just wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him.

You would lie if you have never felt curious as to why every informant in Colombia gave Javier the intel he wanted. After that night you understood why. He was passionate, attentive and a really generous lover. You might have even believed him if he had blurted out an ‘I love you’.

The only reason why you let this happen was because Javier was supposed to stay in the US, officially he wasn’t your (or Steve’s) compañero anymore. And that was true, even when he came back.

“Okay, so your results are in. After you told me you’ve been missing your period for quite a while, I drew some blood to analyze it.”

“Yeah, it must be stress. You know, I worked in Colombia with Connie’s husband and moving back here plus all the work I have to do was really stressful. Also, I had a UTI back in Colombia, I wasn’t drinking enough water and I read that the strain might move my period a little.” you started rambling. For some reason, you felt jittery, almost anxious at the look on the Doctor’s face. She had a grin in her face, really big and excited.

“That may delay your period for two weeks, but it won't magically make it disappear, dear.” She read the results once more and nodded to herself. “As I suspected, you are pregnant.”

“W-w-what?” you mumbled. “But I didn’t pee on the stick.” clearly, your brain had short-circuited.

“I have some pregnancy tests if you wish to take them yourself, but the blood analysis is pretty accurate.” she offered with a nice smile. You nodded and took the box going to the bathroom, trying to focus on reading the instructions.

The stick said you were pregnant. And you knew exactly who was the father.

You sighed at the papers you were reading, the office already empty, way past dinner time. Since catching Escobar, hours were cut short, but to you they were really slow. Steve wasn’t there, he had left a few weeks ago, Javier obviously wasn’t there. It was just you, some files and occasionally some booze to help you relax before sleeping. Thankfully, you would be leaving shortly.

On your way back to the apartment complex you stopped by a grocery store. You needed ice cream, and lots of chocolate, and some chips. Probably some booze too. You had bought a flask of whisky that reminded you of Javier, although whisky might not be your first choice of booze.

That same flask almost fell to the ground when you saw goddam Javier Peña entering his apartment, a big suitcase by his side.

He also noticed you, the dark bags under your eyes and messy hair evidence of your hard work.

“Oh my god” you whispered, unbelieving. You walked and hugged him, relieved to see him again. “You are back?” you stupidly asked.

“Yeah, they want my intel and help to track down the Cali Cartel.” he answered.

“Well, that’s weird.”

“What?”

“My orders are to finish paperwork and return to Miami. They didn’t tell me to stay to help.”

“Well, it’s a different operation this time, more discreet.” he tried to hint you that it wasn’t just DEA business anymore, it was more a CIA kind of work. You invited him to your apartment, that had two boxes of things you were going to give to charity, you didn’t need all this stuff back home, you already had them.

He explained his situation while you shared the flask of whisky and bid good night like the old times, no kisses or sex, or nothing like that. Which was fine.

Everything was fine for the next few days. Javier even helped you pack your stuff and sort it out. The night before returning home he offered to go to the bar you always went to with Steve and him on Friday’s or Saturday’s (sometimes even a Monday)

Both of you drank like you always had, but instead of bidding goodnight and going to bed separately, you both had sex. Again. It was probably a coping mechanism, the way both of you said goodbye to each other. Such a complicated method.

So, so complex that now you were pregnant.

With a child.

Javier's child.

It had to be his, you only had sex with him within the last 3 months. Since Colombia you hadn’t have sex.

This was bad. It was complicated. You didn’t plan for a child; working at the DEA (chasing after Escobar) left you almost no time to think about dating, much more less building a fucking family.

Could you do this? Hell yeah, you are an awesome strong woman.

What you couldn’t do was tell Javier.

When you came out the private room, you were fidgeting with your hands, Connie came and took them. “I’m pregnant.” you blurted out. Connie looked at you shocked; then you noticed little baby Olivia wasn’t on her arms.

Steve, in all his blonde mustache glory stood with his daughter on his arms, looking as shocked as Connie. “What?” he asked.

“Who is the father?” Connie inquired.

“What are you doing here?” You asked Steve.

“I came to pick up my wife and daughter for dinner. Why don’t you come with us and tell us more about this?” You nodded out of inertia, but you looked at your hands while walking, Connie hooking her arm with one of yours.

As you sat on traffic, you tentatively touched your belly. It was... normal. No kicking, no large or really hard belly. It was like there was nothing there.

You would have declined dinner if you knew the questionnaire that would come from the Murphy’s. Well, questionnaire would be an exaggeration, but you didn’t really like the single question they were asking.

“Who’s the father?”

“I- I can’t tell you.”

“Why? We don’t know him?” you sighed and reassigned. You knew they would ask forever.

“Please, please, please you have to promise me you won’t tell anybody. Both of you.” you looked pointedly at Steve. He nodded but held your gaze, trying to figure out what you were really trying to say. A second later he muttered something.

“Jesus fucking christ.”

“What?” Connie asked but soon realized. “Oh, no way. Javier?”

“It’s Javier.” you confirm their suspicions.

“Are you certain?” Connie asked.

“Of course.” you paused and then added. “You can’t tell him Steve.”

“What? Why?” he sounded slightly offended.

“I should tell him first. He should hear it from me.”

“I can’t believe this. The minute I come back home you two just pound at each other.”

“It wasn’t like that, and technically you were still in Colombia the first time.”

“The first time?” he asked with a chuckle, he looked very happy.

“The second time I was the one leaving!” you paused, moving the food around your plate. “How the fuck am I going to tell him? I can’t just call him and be like, ‘hey I’m pregnant and you are the father. How��s the Cali stuff going?’. This kind of news aren’t told over a call.”

“But it’s different, it’s not a normal situation. Javier could be in Colombia for years.” Steve reminded you.

“It wouldn’t make a difference. He can’t come back until his work is done.” You rolled your eyes, there was no good alternative.

“So you plan to just hide this from him?” Connie asked, her look full of pity, if it was for you or Javier, you didn't know.

“Only until I know he’s coming back. I’ll check on him every once in a while. I’ll need you to call him too, Steve. I don’t want him to suspect me.” He sighed but nodded nonetheless. You sighed as well, a million thoughts racing through your head.

You called Javier that same week. Of course, it was unexpected for him but really welcome. Colombia was not rainbows and sunshine. “So how’s the Cartel treating you?”

“It’s a fucking nightmare, but hopefully it won’t take long. I can't talk too much over the phone about this, who knows who might be listening.” he sighed, sounding really

“Yeah, you are right.” for a minute, you thought about telling him. Then you decided. “Please take care and be careful.”

“Of course compañera.” he assured, you could practically hear the smirk in his lips. After ending the call, you pressed the heels of your palms in your eyes. How in the world were you going to tell him?

––––––

A month turned into two, and then five months flew by in the blink of an eye. Javier was not coming back for the time being and your belly was starting to pop. Your head was still working on how in the world were you going to tell Javier, which was the only problem you had right now. It wasn’t even a big problem, if Javier wanted an out of fatherhood he was free to go, but you had been so happy since day two (day one was a full shock) that you honestly didn’t care.

You were getting way too ahead of yourself. Maybe Javi wanted to be a father and he would be really happy with the little baby. But that wasn’t the Javier you knew, and that’s why you were so afraid to tell him.

Today looked like the best day to tell him. You were going to probably get to know if the little baby was a girl or a boy. You were waiting patiently for him to pick up the call in the hospital public phone. After a while, he picked up.

“Hello?” his voice sounded gruff and stressed.

“Hi, compañero. How are you?” you asked, a hand on your belly.

“As fine as I can be here,” he answered. “What did you want?” he asked abruptly, almost tired of talking to you. It stinged a little.

“I just called to check in…” you lied, maybe it wasn’t the best time to tell him after all.

“I’m going to be as clear as I can. Don’t call me, unless you are fucking dying.” you felt a piercing pain in your throat, a tight knot forming, making it really difficult to talk.

“Fine.” you hissed and hanged the phone, tears slipping down your cheeks. Fucking hormones. Fucking Javier.

Connie, who was waiting for you anxiously to come back, hugged you. “It’s okay sweetie, it’s okay.” you nodded and wiped your tears.

“I’m okay. I just need to focus on my baby and myself right now.” you told her and rubbed your belly.

“Of course honey.”

–––––––

It had been a really smooth and sweet pregnancy, you were really happy with your 5th month old baby boy Francisco. He was really sweet, but he had so, so much of his father, the resemblance was uncanny. Deep brown sweet eyes, and a mop of soft brown hair.

Javier had not called you since that horrible last call. You knew he called Steve every once in a while, but you asked Steve please not to tell you anything about him. Both Murphy’s just assumed you had told Javier about the pregnancy and that he had not taken it well.

This was a lie. Javier had no idea you were pregnant, much more less with his child. But he was still in Colombia, so unless you told him he would not hear it from anyone.

It hurted you deeply, not being able to tell your son who his father was. However, all around your house there were pictures of Steve, Javi and yourself from Colombia. Connie and Olivia were there too, even Carillo.

Anyways, the baby was too young to notice the absence of his father. Maybe by the time Francisco starts wondering about daddy, Javier would be around the USA to talk.

Your son cooed and asked to be held up, it was time for his nap. Just in time, you thought, Steve was coming over to pick him up as you were going to meet your best friend in an hour or so. Your baby boy soon fell asleep, you held him in against your chest, rocking him gently.

Then the doorbell rang.

“Steve, you are early. Fran just fell asleep.” you told Steve. But it wasn’t Steve. Javier fucking Peña stood in the door way, his eyes looking at your son. You frowned and tried to hide Francisco’s face sneakily from him. “What are you doing here?”

“Hello to you too, compañera.” he said, but his mind was not entirely focused on whatever he was saying. His mind was in the baby, and about how quickly you had moved on.

“Don’t compañera me.” you hissed, in a hushed tone, the baby in your arms sleeping soundly. “Come in.” you told him, as you turned around to leave your baby on his cradle.

Javier looked around, looking for any sign of the baby’s father. But he only found pictures of you, Steve, Connie, baby Olivia and other people he knew. Then he started thinking, what if the baby was his child?

No, that’s not possible.

“So?” you asked, really anxious. You had no idea he would be here. You were not prepared for this. But really, would you ever be prepared?

“I came to apologize.” Javier simply said, his hands on his hips.

“Took you a little long.” you said, rubbing your hands together. “If you apologized sooner I could have…”

“Could have what?” you exhaled and sighed, trying not to cry.

“You are not supposed to be here.” you whisper, your voice cracking softly as you sit on your sofa. Javier sat by your side and you felt the weight of your decisions constrict your chest, making it harder to breath.

You were a horrible, horrible person. How could you deny him knowing he was a father? That he had a child? It didn’t matter how angry you felt, or how much of an asshole he had been. The baby was made by both of you. He had the right to know.

“I’m sorry.” he was not sure why, but he really was sorry. You shook your head, and started to tell him that you were sorry, repeating like a prayer. “Hey, hey” he tried to calm you down, rubbing his hands up and down your back. “Breath, baby. Breath.” you complied, breathing deeply. After a minute of silence you took his rough big hand and held it, squeezing it slightly.

“Javier, I got news for you.” you started, and felt his hand tense. “The baby boy, Francisco, he’s your son, our son.” He looked at you, his eyes wide, looking like a deer in the headlights. “That time I called you, I was pregnant, and I wanted to tell you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me after?”

“You told me not to call you unless I was fucking dying.” you exhaled and stood up. “Look you don’t have to be involved if you don’t want to, I had Francisco because I wanted to, but I didn't expect anything from you.”

“Not getting involved? What are you talking about?” he asked offended.

“I’m sorry, and I mean no offense, but you don't strike as the kind of guy who would want a family, or children.”

“And what the fuck do you know?” he raised his voice a little, making you cringe a little.

“I’m sorry, and I can’t do anything to return back time.” you told him sincerely. A loud whine was heard from your room, where the crib was. You sighed and went to your room, to calm Francisco down. Unbeknownst to you, Javier followed you looking how you delicately held him and rocked him. The baby’s eyes were still closed, he was just a little disturbed.

You looked at the door frame, Javier stood there, looking at the child. You walked to him, your intentions clear. “Do you want to hold him?” you asked your voice soft and soothing. Javier gulped, feeling suddenly nervous, he didn’t know how to hold a baby, what if he dropped him? “Don’t worry, I’ll help.” you offered, a kind smile in your face.

Javier extended his arms and you walked closer, softly passing your son to Javier’s big arms. Francisco whined a little and Javier’s face cringed, making you smile. “Hold him against you,” you helped, gently pushing his arms, closer to his chest. Francisco was fast asleep again. Javier just looked at him, marveled. You guide him to the sofa, making him sit there with your son. “I’ll be right back.” you tell him, and at the panicked face he made, you had to quiet your laugh. “You’ll be fine.”

You called your best friend, telling her you wouldn’t be able to meet her. When you stepped back on the living room, someone knocked on the door, it must be Steve. You opened the door and gestured to him to be quiet, pointing at the couch, were Javi sat (finally) relaxed.

Steve did not enter the house as you promised to call later. You returned to the living room and sat beside them, contemplating how peaceful they looked. Javier had moved your son, laying him against his broad chest. You caressed the baby’s hair, looking at him with doe eyes.

“Want to stay for dinner?” you asked standing up. Javier nodded and then lay his head on the back of the couch, closing his eyes. You smiled and entered your bedroom to change your clothes into something more comfortable.

You had nothing figured out, but you were happy knowing your son had a loving father to grow up with. You’ll figure your relationship out (if there was going to be one).

After some minutes, you heard some gurgles coming from the living room. Javi fell asleep, and Francisco was wide awake, looking at his father curiously, moving his little hands. You took the baby from him, kissing his chubby face. “Your daddy is sleeping, baby. C’mon, let’s give you some mashed banana.” you told him, caressing Javier’s hair back.

You spent some long 20 minutes feeding and nursing your baby boy while you also checked dinner. Javier, still fast asleep on the couch, woke up with a start, touching his chest, as if missing something. “Where’s the baby?” he asked, looking around.

“He’s here, Javier.” you told him from the kitchen, a silly smile on your face. Javier sat by the table, feeling self conscious at the baby’s gaze over him. His son’s arms moved up and down, talking unintelligible gibberish. “He likes you.” you commented, cleaning his chubby face. Javier held his hand out and Francisco took one of his fingers, squeezing with his baby strength. Javi’s heart skipped a beat.

Eating together was really weird, but at the same time it felt right. You noticed Javier’s tired face and wondered if he came straight from the airport. So you asked, sparking some conversation. You talked about what finally happened with the Cali Cartel.

“You got a place to stay?” you asked, but you knew the answer. “You can stay here if you want. Hotel’s are really expensive right now.”

“You sure?” you nodded. You forgot how well you clicked with Javier, it was a nice reminder.

He helped you with the dishes, and then went to shower, getting his suitcase for clean clothes. You prepared Francisco for bed, giving him his formula bottle after changing his diapers.

You saw Javier getting out of the bathroom, and thankfully had the decency to wear full pajamas, you would have fainted at the view of his bare chest.

“So, I’ll go to the couch, do you have a blanket?”

“What are you talking about?” you asked. “I was going to tell you to sleep in the bed with me. We already shared a bed before, so I don’t see a problem. Plus, I could use the help if Francisco wakes up.” you commented with a cocky smirk. You usually wore just a t-shirt to bed, but today you had to use full pajamas, like Javi did.

“Okay.” Javier said, not really convinced. Francisco was asleep already, his father caressed his little hand with his finger. You were already under the covers, ready to hit the bed, Javier looked tired too.

He laid down, under the covers as well, looking at the ceiling. He moved looking at you, you were both face to face, generous space between both of you. “I’m sorry.” You shook your head, and took his hands on yours.

“Sleep Javi, you look tired.” you kissed the back of his hands and closed your eyes, sleep getting the best of you. Javi smiled, his face soft, getting a little closer, leaving his hand on yours, then he shut his eyes. He had never felt more at home.

#javier peña #javier peña x reader #narcos #javier x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader

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cosmosrival · 4 years ago

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there it is! kama interlude analysis by a kama fan!

WELL. LIKE IT SAYS IN THE TITLE: this is just my own thoughts!! youre free to think whatever u want !! i am just putting my own knowledge into words because i genuinely love kama, and i would like for kama’s depth to be understood by the NA fandom a little more!! i try to stay as close as possible to their character in everything i do because i believe that the more in character they are, the funnier/more interesting content ppl will produce.

and hopefully i understood them well ???!!!! HOPEFULLY ?!

i will be screenshotting the translated reddit post under this read more and stop whenever something i find interesting to develop pops up ! or else it’ll get way too long lol if you wanna read the interlude for yourself heres the link!

with that said, let’s go!!

kama’s interlude begins with guda passing the hell out because of exhaustion and then waking up in a dream sequence where kama treats them to some relaxing adventures, stuff to take their mind off heavy things!! first dream sequence is kama roleplaying a highschool setting where they’re dating.

i like this because they openly admit that its an illusion, breaking the immersion but as long as youre okay with roleplaying, they’ll continue it LOL at some point, caesar mentions the student council president and arjuna appears behind him

since this is an illusion that kama made, i’ve been wondering about the fact that the way servants conduct eachother in this interlude is mostly because that’s how kama envisions they would act in a highschool setting, in an amusement park and finally with eachother (mostly for confirmed couples such as siegbryn, consort yu and her hubby etc...). suzuka and sei being gyarus is obvious, but arjuna as the student council president... is so cute???!!! i MEAN IT FITS ?! THATS A GREAT IDEA KAMA!!!! ANYWAY

this is kama’s first monologue and since they’re primarily the god of lust, all of the more vanilla stuff they mentions such as sharing a pair of headphones embarrasses them since its so tame. ITS CUTE !!! kama expects you to be horny in class !! what are you doing thinking about hand holding !!! medusa saves u from that tho with a direct reference to her relationship with kama’s vessel

this is interesting !! and reassuring !!! i think that kama as a character has a lot of depth and just reducing them to “sakura” would be a waste and this interlude shows how different they are from her. but they’re also similar! sakura went through a lot just like medusa says and kama does have trauma related to shiva. its not the same circumstances but the same kind of suffering which explains the nuance here. and what i like about chaldea is that there’s been multiple instances where its been proven that servants can grow thanks to their relationships with guda (most common example: leveling up your bonds) BUT ALSO, saint graph evolution (alts). and as a kama fan i’d like to see them happy someday and this interlude as a whole is proof of their healing/coping because of the time they spent in chaldea and how they interact with others. more on that later ! here, they don’t recognize medusa which is normal since they’re not sakura (someone else entierly), but...

they care about her ! because of sakura’s influence being a part of the servant called Kama(assassin). the difference here is important !! but i’ll come back on this in a bit. quick mention to the greek cupid <3 kamadusa nation we were fed (i clap by myself because im the only one who has 57575757557 kama rarepairs-----)

kama is a delinquent whos horny in class but still takes a few notes, enough to do well on their tests! and thats tea<3 smart horny lazyass !! theyre a gift

SO ARJUNA WAS OUT FOR BLOOD ????? ANYWAY, this is right after the actual fight against weirdo terrorists, and im happy to know that kama DOES enjoy a good fight (as proven in their voicelines as well) but theyre not a farming unit because it’d be too much work (single target NP..)...!!!!!!! lavish god of love....

FINALLYYYYYYYYYYY THE REAL DEAL !!!!!!!!!!!! “it feels wonderful to be your girlfriend” christ, kamadeva was so used to being a husband and a good lover, it reflected in their servant version.... but ree what do u mean by servant version???

I MEAN THE OBVIOUS !! kama explains it very well in the screenie just above !

“You know very well how servants work.”

KAMA ASSASSIN (the servant in your chaldea) is neither KAMADEVA or SAKURA MATOU or MARA. they’re a MIX OF PARTS OF THE THREE. creating an entierly new person(in this case, servant) !!!! it might sound like i’m repeating myself, but this is important!!!!!!!!! i will say this multiple times so people remember it !!! and if u already had this figured out: GOOD JOB I LOVE U !!!

Kamadeva (the god) has many stories, ones where he was born from concepts (dharma and shraddha), one where his parents are brahma and sarasvati, one where his parents are vishnu and lakshmi, stories about his reincarnation after his death where his parents are krishna and rukmini, his love with Rati and so on. We all know Sakura’s backstory since this is nasuverse. And Mara is a demon, an entity that tried to corrupt Buddha and prevent him from reaching enlightenment/stray from the path. Kama assassin has parts from all of these entities which explains why they have a vague longing for Rati, why they have a soft spot for Medusa and why they have an affinity with Kiara(and also like talking about corrupting u !).

they then mention how a japanese highschool setting is fun and all i have to say is: i’m gonna make an indo fam delinquent vs student council au out of this one folks !!!!!!!! i gotta !!!

OK next

TIME FOR THE SECOND DREAM SEQUENCE WHICH I WAS VERY VERY VERRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY AFRAID OF BEFORE THE TRANSLATION CAME OUT.

THE PART WHERE KAMA ACTS LIKE YOUR CHILD.

well with their stage 1 it was expected but without the translation i have to say that i was scared shitless! because people hate thinking! and even if kama clearly tells you that it’s a charade, u know a JOKE. A DREAM SEQUENCE. DONT BE A CREEP. KAMA INTENDED FOR IT TO BE WHOLESOME. i know some ppl wont use their brains. but u know its fgo and degenerates are everywhere.

anyways. family bonding time ensues until another monologue appears!!

exactly like before, kama mentions myths that belonged to kamadeva. Meaning that the Kama in our chaldea isn’t the Kamadeva we know and is not Pradyumna either but the fact that the writers chose to have kama acknowledge it is very reassuring !!! Because it means that they’ve chosen to make it a part of their (complicated) history. Kama says that Pradyumna is the myth about themself they know the least, once again proving us that the Kama in our Chaldea (Assassin) is a different entity and that they were summoned to the throne upon their death, the moment they were burned by Shiva’s flames and became Ananga, in any case they’re still familiar with all of their own myths. it allows us to keep heroic spirits separate from their original myths. Obviously! And in the case of pseudo-servants, it allows us to keep them separate from their vessels. Cuz this is a fanservice japanese game. Andddd the fandom likes forgetting this fact quite a lot i’ve noticed. As a person who loves thinking about tons and tons of headcanons for fun, this allows us a lot of space ! Because this is fate/grand order at its base. Nasuverse.

I’m glad that the interlude explains it so clearly, it’s very good !! Because the majority of myths from every culture are confusing, family trees are confusing, names are confusing, powers and attributes are confusing... its a mess !!!! the fgo characters we know are just cut from their own respective timelines/historial figures so the writers can organize themselves more easily. Like cutting halves from a big cake. Kama (Assassin) is the Kama that died from Shiva’s flames and became the universe ONLY. In Nasuverse, Arthur Pendragon is a woman. Anastasia Romanov NEVER had a demon familiar named Viy in real life despite the creature being part of russian folklore. u know ! im russian i can testify dude !!

hopefully everyone got this bc i wont be explaining this any further dude, its exhausting !!!!!! bangs my hands on the table !!!!!

ANYWAYS kama mentions “eternal pain that turns [them] into ash” being their key element. Their trauma is at the center of their heroic spirit self, what they are as a servant. This suffering is tied to everything they do, why they’re so lazy, why they’re so lax, why they’re so detached from their job. But they’re not detached from their role. And “job” and “role” have different connotations here. They refuse to work as a cupid because of obvious reasons. BUT. They’re not detached from their role as the God of Love, as the God of Passion. The embodiment of those feelings. This whole interlude is proof ! They’re giving u free therapy because they Love you. Passion. They feel your love. Passion. They acknowledge how much fun you’re having. How passionate you are about certain things. They might seem extremely detached and hateful, but they aren’t. They’re one of the most empathetic servants there is. And their ability to love everything, even the things they hate is what makes them so miserable. Because it’s a part of them. Because the concept of Kama in hinduism is linked to them. Be it lust or simply the passion born from anything you do where you’re enjoying yourself. (quote: “ the term also refers to any sensory enjoyment, emotional attraction and aesthetic pleasure such as from arts, dance, music, painting, sculpture and nature “. R. Prasad (2008), History of Science, Philosophy and Culture in Indian Civilization )

... I’d like to say that this contrast with Mara is interesting. And that i’m glad the writers chose to add in Mara to the kama assassin Beast mix.

Because the anger Mara feels can become a drivepoint for Kama. I’ve always believed that anger and sadness are two sides of the same coin, it’d explain how layered Kama is and how valid their emotions are. Constantly torn between love and hate. An eternal grudge (i don’t deserve to be hurt like this) and an eternal misery(maybe i do deserve to be hurt like this).

i wish they were my roommate <3 oh fuck ree got emotional wait where were we.

OH YEAH

i think kama saying that they dislike being involved with other indian servants because theyre linked to shiva is a feeble attempt at trying to keep up a strong front because they still love them in the end. cuz that’s how kama is ! after a while they’ll get bored of bullying ganesha and ashwatthama. they’ll get interested in rama because their respective mythos are linked even if their servant selves have no connection. hell, at the end of the interlude they talk about parvati and how they themself changed and realized things. BUT OH WELL, THATS STUFF FOR ANOTHER POST HEHE thats just ree wanting kama to b happy yall move along !!

.....THIS ISNT A COLLEGE STUDENTS ROLEPLAY BUT ITS A CUTE JAPANESE COMPANY BOSS/UNDERLING SETTING AND ITS CUTE SO I THINK KAMA WEARING A PENCIL SKIRT AND POURING U ALCOHOL IS CUTE. CUTE.

further proof of kama’s overflowing affection and what i detailed above!! hopefully u all knew this one simply from reading this interlude/their profile page and dont need me to write it down for u. HOPEFULLY !!!!!

(I START BEATBOXING VERY RAPIDLY AND RUNNING TOWARDS YOU) KAMA IS A SADIST AT THEIR CORE AND I WILL NEVER STOP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they’re easy to fluster because theyre not used to being so vanilla, but whats underneath is how they truly are !! a beast turned servant, the sweetest sadist !! theyre very mature and this interlude is so well written (wipes my teears

this is directly linked to what i explained above, by burning you away, you’ll melt into nothingness just like they did. When they were the universe, they felt both everything and nothing.

But was it really relief ... ?

... IT WASNT.

AND PARVATI SAVES THE DAY !!!!!!! phew!! thank u paru, it’d still like to be able to touch kama’s huge titties and i cant do that if i turn into ashes (falls down the stairs

ok she summoned lovey dovey canon couples to annoy kama since they’re exhausted of seein them!!

...............(I TAKE OUT A KNIFE) TAKE THAT BACK. DONT TALK TO THEM LIKE THAT. TAKE THAT BACK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ohhhhhh im obsessed i love when theyre angry<3 i love when theyre fighty <3 i think they should beat the living shit out of a boxing bag DAILY to let out some of this steam. they’d be a monster on the ring... aaa kama in training boot y shorts aa a .. .uughg hg ouu... (you all shove me into a locker)

ok this is interesting !! i think that the interlude showing us that parvati feels a semblance of guilt is character dev. proof for what i mentioned before!! in ookuu parvati felt quite ..unsympathetic to me, even if kama is a beast who wants to annihilate humanity, when u think about it, at their core their grudge is because of her and shiva’s betrayal. and here, she properly apologizes for making kama so upset. this is heartwarming to me since i dislike thinking that members of the indo fam hate eachother :( same goes for arjuna and karna, at some point i’d like for them to act like bros normally and finally be comfy. but anyways !!

u wake up from the dreams and da vinci, mashu and paru are here to tell u whats going on. But its fine bc u remember everything and u have to go thank someone for helping u out!!!

CUTE !!!!!!! THEY CARE ABOUT U !!!!!! but whether it be because of their role or because theres a deeper meaning is entierly up to your own interpretation because...

of what they say here.

and here !!

ohhhhhhhhh this is so important !!!!!!

this is actual proof of kama’s growth as a servant and how servants evolve in chaldea !! chaldea is not the same as a grail war, its a special, cut-off place and thats what makes it even more relaxing to think about. Everytime u summon a servant in ur chaldea u give them a chance to have fun with you, to have fun with other servants, to make amends, to start from scratch, to discover things they would’ve never known in their time (movies, video games, tons of different foods etc...), u give them a chance to relax. to grow !! this is the headcanon that im most attached to and im glad to see it be confirmed in the interlude of a character i love tbqh i had to stop and talk about that.

everyone say thank u kama !! can we roleplay a college roommate coffee shop slowburn au next time <3

ANYWAYS if you’ve read it this far: thank you !!! im sorry if you expected something very serious, im not that type of person hehe im jus here to have fun and look at things i like, and the interlude itself was quite lighthearted and refreshing. By talking about the myths and all of kamadeva’s stories, the writers basically gave lore nerds a huge thumbs up like... “its ok now !! u can go ape now !! go be insane<3 love u<3″ and all of this kama characterization GENUINELY makes me so happy because i think they really needed that. kama assassin... (i blow a kiss to the sky) is a little mess of a servant... a god, human crumbs and a demon... a total mess... im in love with them...

..............tho now the wait for a summer alt where they interact with the entire indo fam begins (im sitting in a chair unmoving)(i have a gun in case minase begins acting gross

#ree's fgo hcs #kama #WONT TAG THIS ONE AS A WHOLE BC IM... A LIL SHY TO BE HONEST #its just a kama fan rambling bro....... jus a kama fan liking the interlude man.....#like i said at the beginning of the post its just my thoughts<3

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offtopicoverload · 4 years ago

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Disney Princess - 2

Day late, but oh well, I got it done and that's an accomplishment in itself.

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

T Rating (just grumpy Aurora in this one lol)

Aurora x f!MC (Rylen Damen (changed it lol))

~4.3k

Read on Ao3

Aurora Emery is tired.

She’s incredibly tired, of anything and everything. She can barely sleep anymore, she can barely relax, and now she can barely focus on her work. Which is arguably the worst of the three, since this is her livelihood, her passion, her priority. It’s what she’s always excelled at, it’s what she’s poured years and years of her life into, and now she doesn’t even know what she’s reading and has to restart at the top of page 268, for the fourth time now.

But instead of rereading once more, she huffs, slams her textbook shut, and falls back on her bed, staring up at the plain, empty ceiling as if it will solve all her problems for her. Unfortunately, it doesn’t, and that fact only further irritates her. She turns on her side, facing her open window and the lights spilling into the ill-lit room through the glass panes. Lights from the buildings surrounding her own, lights from traffic swimming in the current of the street, lights from neon signs and street lamps lining the sidewalk, lights that provide a tiny glimpse of sunshine in the chilling dark of night.

Her phone buzzes from behind her, shaking the comforter underneath her, and, with a sigh, she tosses her arm backwards and searches for it, her palm fumbling along her comforter as she does. When she finally finds it she grips her case tight as she draws her arm back, and unlocks it to find a notification from Rylen Damen. ‘Hey Princess,’ Aurora rolls her eyes, ‘How’s Jonathon Quell? Did you figure out what was wrong?’

She sighs, pulling her other hand from beneath the weight of her body, and begins typing, ‘It was a bacterial infection. His results arrived this morning and we ran through his treatment plan this afternoon. He should make a full recovery,’ she sends, dropping her phone back to the bed as she does.

But of course, that’s not the end of the conversation; it never is with Rylen. Aurora’s phone vibrates again, and she turns it on to find ‘:DDDDDDDDD’ staring back at her, her mind immediately replicating the obnoxious smile Rylen has when she’s excited.

Her lips twist as she stares at the obscene image, an image she cannot fathom sending to a colleague when discussing patients, an image that she hates she knows it’s actual equivalent to, before she begins typing with another sigh, her curiosity getting the best of her, ‘Not that I’m advocating for this professional conversation to turn at all casual, but why not use emojis?’

‘I dunno,’ pops up almost immediately, ‘Just always used them. Old habits die hard, I guess,’ arrives just as quickly.

‘Okay,’ Aurora types, somewhat eagerly for a change, ‘Now are we done here?’ She taps the side of her phone case - some random black one with red flowers she found at the store she bought the device from - distractedly, waiting for her escape from this horrendous exchange.

Rylen’s response is just as fast, a few dots bouncing before grey explodes on the screen, ‘Ouch, Princess, you really don’t like me.’

Aurora rolls her eyes at her screen, frown firmly in place as her fingers fly back to the keyboard, ‘This is a professional interaction, and if we have run out of professional material to discuss, then this conversation has come to an end.’

‘You must be a blast at parties,’ Aurora rolls her eyes again, a seemingly constant urge when around Rylen or even interacting virtually, just as her phone pings again, ‘Sorry, *professional parties*’ she corrects.

And Aurora barely suppresses another eye roll, frowning heavily at her screen, even as her lips fight against her to quirk upwards the tiniest amount, ‘I don’t go to parties.’

‘No kidding.’

Aurora glares at the letters, at the challenge held within them, at the unbridled insult staring her in the face. ‘Do you?’ she retaliates, the faintest droplets of hurt welling somewhere inside herself.

‘Too busy. Why, you asking me out? ;)’

Aurora shakes her head exasperatedly with an exhale from her nose, simultaneously fighting against the growing smile on her lips even harder. She forces it away as soon as she realizes it’s there, her jaw clenching and nostrils flaring in irritation as she decides it’s time to put an end to this absurdity provoked by Rylen, ‘Enjoy your evening, Damen, I have work to do.’

‘Night, Princess,’ buzzes her phone for the last time, a final message to bookend a conversation Aurora would rather not repeat again, but she knows she will. And it’s some odd mix of infuriating and oddly comforting, knowing that even if she tries to shut her up, Rylen will still be there chattering away, coming up with joke after joke, tease after tease, all presumably to force Aurora into smiling or something of the like.

Rylen once asked Aurora if her muscles were incapable of moving like that, of lifting in a smile, and Aurora scowled in response. Rylen put her hands up in self-defense, eyes wide as she explained that she was only curious why Aurora never looked happy, that it was an innocent question. And Aurora’s terse reply had shut her up quite quickly: “If I find something that makes me happy, then I’ll smile.”

Aurora sighs, letting her gaze shift to the blank, unassuming ceiling once again. Her eyelids fall shut as she sucks in a deep breath, steadying herself as best she can, working to dissolve her irritation and annoyance as her chest rises with each calming breath. Then she launches upwards, grabs her textbook, and flips it open to page 268 to continue reading. After what feels like forever, she’s managed through each of the passages she needed to read, and gathers her books and papers to settle them on her desk.

She flops back on her bed after she clears it, staring at the dull, boring ceiling for another quiet moment before scooting up to the pillows and tossing the covers back. She sinks into her pillow, hating how unfamiliar the sensation has become in recent weeks - maybe even months - and grabs her phone to set an alarm. She moves to plug it in on her nightstand, but before she does, she opens her messages again, scrolling to her last conversation for one final text: ‘Night, Damen.’

---

An alarm blares near Aurora’s head, startling her awake just as sunlight creeps above the horizon outside, glinting through her still-open window and bathing her in yellows and oranges. With a huff, she turns off the blasting noise, suppressing the urge to throw her phone against the wall as she does, and crawls out of bed reluctantly. She retreats to the bathroom for a quick shower and throws on her scrubs when she’s done, just two more steps in the constant routine that’s been her life for years now.

She leaves the apartment without breakfast, she enters Edenbrook without any greetings or warm welcomes, she works her shift without any breaks or breathers. She works until she has nothing to work on, until the nurses are looking at her funny as she orders exam after exam, and until her aunt’s calling her into her office. Only she wishes she could just keep working, keep ignoring her aunt and keep helping people, it’s the entire reason she’s here, anything else is a distraction, a waste.

Another buzz shakes her phone as she exits Harper Emery’s office with a huff, her features twisted in frustration as she shuts the door behind her with a thud. She stalks down the corridor outside, glaring at anyone that dares to look in her direction, interns and residents alike. She stops outside a patient’s room, pulling in a deep, steadying breath as her phone vibrates in her pocket once more.

With a roll of her eyes, she pulls it from her pocket, flicking open to the last person she wants to talk to, but is the least surprised by at this point. ‘What about Cynthia Lane?’ is the first one she sees. ‘Did you figure out Nathan McAllister too?’ is above it.

She rolls her eyes at the messages, at the gall of Rylen to insert herself into hospital affairs from her apartment, miles away. ‘They are in my care for a reason, Damen, I assure you that all your previous patients are fine,’ she types back, tapping her foot as she does.

‘Sorry,’ fires back almost immediately, as if Rylen was waiting on the edge of her seat for some sort of answer. ‘You’ve definitely got this,’ a beat later, with a smiley face tacked on the end, before one last message arrives, ‘Just keep me updated? Please?’

Aurora sighs, tapping her foot and considering a response. But she can’t think of any outside of providing Rylen with her request, so she pockets her phone without sending another message and steps into her patient’s room, forcing a tight smile on her lips. He smiles back, though much more relaxed, and she runs through the usual, familiar, boring routine that’s starting to drag on her day by day, wearing her down quicker than it should. And all the while, she plans out her analysis of this patient for Rylen, focusing her energy on the recent addition.

---

A day later, Aurora’s flying from room to room, floor to floor, and wing to wing. And she hates it. She hates that she’s running around like a chicken with its head cut off, she hates that she’s the only one working, alone in the stark halls, and she hates that her aunt refused to listen to her earlier, ignoring her words and piling more charts in her arms.

She tugs a door shut behind her, already scanning another chart as she hurries down the hall to the next room. She repeats the process all morning, lines and lines of exams, results, treatments, medical histories, anything and everything fill her mind, imprint on the back of her eyelids, drown her in monotony and the emptiness of Edenbrook today.

Her phone buzzes against her as it rests in her pocket, an annoyingly familiar sensation now. And she doesn’t even have to guess who it’s from; no one else texts her, least of all when she’s in the middle of a shift. She pulls the offending device out with a huff, immediately greeted with ‘Didn’t see you at the hearing.’

Aurora’s jaw clenches, eyes alight as she drops her stack of papers on the nurse’s station she’s found herself at. ‘For your information, I’m working, rather than wasting my time on something so ridiculous. This is a hospital, people need help, and you’re stealing all the decent doctors from them,’ she types furiously, irritated at both her situation and the circumstance the entire hospital has found itself in, all because of Rylen.

She waits for a response but after a minute or so, it’s clear she’s not going to receive one. She shuts her phone off entirely, jamming it in her back pocket as she carries on, a scowl plastered on her face as she works, and works, and works. She meets with new patients and attendings, she assists old ones, she even discharges two, but the entire time she’s irritated and frustrated and just so tired.

Nearly the entire hospital’s at that hearing, she has every right to be there, too. This impacts every single member of the staff, she has every right to know what could happen to her career. This affects one of her colleagues, she has every right to know what’s going to happen to her, whether or not she’s going to see her in the hallways and put up with that absurd grin that she can call upon in a fraction of a second.

She sighs as she exits another room, flicking through her files and folders and stack of papers, and starts for a nurse’s station, dropping papers off with the few people still working. She forces a smile at Danny as he beams at her, before spinning on her heel and starting for the atrium, gritting her teeth as she marches down a series of hallways. She drags a hand through her hair as she draws near, finding a crowded atrium as she exits into it. She grits her teeth as her aunt spots her, waving her over with a smile.

She obliges, snaking through the gathered groups of doctors and observers until she reaches one Harper Emery. “Aurora, perfect, I was just about to send a page for you,” she greets cheerily.

Aurora forces a minuscule smile back, opening her mouth to respond when Harper cuts her off, “I have new assignments for you, I’m guessing you finished your previous ones?” she inquires with a smile.

“Well, actually,” Aurora begins, shifting on her feet and forcing herself to meet Harper’s gaze, “I was hoping I could come watch the hearing to see the outcome,” she explains.

Harper shakes her head, “No, you should be working,” she answers, rather sternly.

Aurora bristles at the tone, “Everyone else is watching the hearing, why can’t I?” she counters, her lips twisting downwards into a frown.

“Because, Aurora,” Harper begins gently, Aurora only further bristling, “this is the perfect chance for you to pick up some extra cases,” she smiles encouragingly.

“But…”

Harper ignores her quiet protest, “Report to Dr. Alondra, then Dr. Mirrielees.” And Aurora can’t take it. She can’t take being ignored and forced to walk those empty halls when everyone else gets to be a part of something so important, and crucial, and she can’t take that she can’t be there to see what happens to Rylen. Harper’s continued, “Tell them I sent you -”

“God, Aunt Harper, would you just stop?” Aurora explodes, “You don’t listen to me! Ever since I got here, you’ve used me to feel like you’re still practicing.” Her face has contorted into an brazen scowl now as she spits the words.

“That’s… that’s not true,” Harper stammers, staring at Aurora in disbelief and simultaneously attempting to wrangle the surprise on her face.

“No? Tell me how much you love being chief, then,” Aurora challenges, drawing herself to her full height. “Tell me how you don’t miss being a surgeon. How much you love paperwork and kissing up to scumbags like Declan Nash! How much you didn’t care about getting back in the O.R. the other day!”

Harper plasters on her own scowl now, “Aurora, you can’t talk to me this way!”

Aurora only laughs coldly in response. She’s done with the ‘can’t’s and the ‘no’s, she’s done with being her aunt’s lap dog, she’s done with conforming to someone else’s ideals for her. She’s done with this, with all of this. “You know what the hilarious thing is? Damen is exactly who you’ve always wanted me to be and you’re letting Nash railroad her out of a fair hearing.”

Harper doesn’t respond, her face tight as Aurora meets her gaze in challenge. She can feel pressure building behind her eyes, but she’s not giving up, she’s not giving in, she’s not losing this fight like she’s lost countless others. If she has to work herself to exhaustion, alone every step of the way, she’s doing it on her own terms.

Harper only huffs, turning away from Aurora and striding in the direction of the hall that’s held the hearing. Aurora turns too, storming across the atrium with her face set in a glare, firing it at anyone stupid enough to stare at her, to acknowledge the raised voices that came from her and Harper. She sneers at some random intern that still doesn’t get the message, and they quickly avert their eyes.

She turns forward again, and, for the second time today, Aurora catches Rylen’s gaze across the room. Only she’s not interested in conversation this time, she’s not interested in wishing Rylen luck as she faces the demise of her career, she’s not interested in even holding her gaze. She’s not interested in anything to do with Rylen Damen, plain and simple. “What?” Aurora snaps at her.

She watches Rylen stutter for a second, her eyes displaying her evident shock at whatever’s just occurred before her, until a grin splits her lips in half a heartbeat, “Thanks for standing up for me.”

Aurora’s frown remains firmly in place as she meets eager eyes, “That wasn’t for you, Damen. That was for me.” She stands taller, flicking her gaze away from Rylen’s, “But you’re welcome anyway,” she mumbles awkwardly, her feet already moving again as she retreats from that stupid smile, that smile that seems to be Rylen’s default, that smile that was present in the fourth floor supply closet.

She retreats in the direction of the hearing’s hall, slipping inside carefully to remain as unnoticed as possible. She takes a seat, slumping in it in the back corner behind two random interns that won’t stop chattering, even as the hall begins filling up, even as the board retakes their places, even as everyone else within the grand room slowly quiets. It’s become still enough that Aurora can hear what they’re saying now, even as they whisper, “Dude, she killed someone,” one of them insists, “Throw her in jail, she’s fucking crazy.”

Aurora jerks forward in her seat before she can even consider reacting, lips pulled back in a snarl as red sparks in the corners of her vision, “Hey!” she hisses, a low, vicious sound. The interns turn, eyes wide, and Aurora focuses in on the one that uttered something so ridiculous. “You wanna stand up and tell everyone that? Or you gonna keep whispering like a coward?” she hisses again, watching his features slowly morph from surprise to fear as he takes in not only the person speaking to him, but the expression on her face.

His jaw falls open as he glances to his friend, eyes wild and face quickly flushing red. But his friend only leans away, hands raised in surrender as he abandons his friend to the wolves. Or, more accurately, a furious Aurora Emery. He turns back to her, stuttering incessantly, “I, um, so - er - I didn’t - that’s - well - okay - er, I, uh…” he stalls, face paling as Aurora sinks into her seat again.

“Then keep your mouth shut,” she snarls, a slight sense of pride blossoming in her chest at the way the intern adamantly nods his head, turning back to his friend just to get laughed at. She’s about to snap at him too for treating her understandable frustration as something comedic, when Rylen retakes her spot at the podium, the entire hall silencing immediately.

Aurora taps her foot anxiously as she watches Rylen standing at the podium before the gathered group of attendings. She watches the way Rylen stands ram-rod straight, her spine like a ruler and her body rigid as she stares ahead, eyes trained on the people before her, the people judging her. She watches the way Rylen relaxes some as she mentions her friends, turning back to them with a small smile, the words like an activator, alighting something inside her.

She watches the way Rylen uses that fire, her face settling into stone as Dr. Chandra asks her a final question, “Do you regret what you’ve done?”

Her jaw sets as she speaks, clear and determined, her voice ringing in the hall, “I regret distracting us from what matters. This hospital is full of sick people who need our help. But instead we’re in here, debating the consequences of my actions. So if you’re gonna pull my privileges, let’s get it over with. Because all of you need to get back to work,” she accuses, fingers gripping the podium and knuckles turning white.

And Aurora watches the entire speech with a slight smile crooking her lips, some combination of self-satisfaction and pride swirling in her stomach, stirring her, provoking her to shift forward, knees on her elbows as she watches intently. As she watches the vote that determines Rylen’s entire future, that might even determine Edenbrook’s entire future. “The seven panelists will now vote whether to revoke Dr. Valentine’s privileges at Edenbrook,” Harper begins, adjusting in her chair and looking down towards the other panelists.

Until the door at the back of the hall swings in, a low voice booming throughout the room, “You weren’t going to start without me, were you?” Dr. Banerji’s cheery tone echoes, stealing every pair of eyes in the room as he enters, an intern Rylen knows - Landry, Aurora corrects - helping him walk down the aisle.

Aurora’s eyes flicker to Rylen, to the shock on her face as her mouth hangs open, the artificial lighting playing in her wide eyes. Rylen blinks, still processing the man before her, “Dr. Banerji?” she whispers, and it’s too far for Aurora to hear, but enough for her to make out the shape of Rylen’s lips as she murmurs.

“Sorry for the wait. Once he woke up, I got him here as fast as I could,” Landry announces, still aiding the older man towards the board of gathered panelists, carefully and slowly.

“Naveen, what are you doing here? You said you were retiring,” Harper’s standing now, palms flat on the table as she gapes at Banerji with her own wide eyes.

Dr. Banerji laughs lightly, albeit weakly, “I should have said I was expiring,” he clarifies with a grin, somehow unafraid in the face of death. “Until yesterday, I was on the verge of death. Sepsis of unknown origin,” he continues.”Unknown, that is, until Dr. Damen gave up her last day to prepare for this hearing by solving my case.” Rylen’s cheeks flush as she bows her head, avoiding the eyes settling on her. “Now then, I believe that seat still has my name on it,” Dr. Banerji beams to the board.

Declan Nash jumps to his feet, his face beet-red, “Cyrus! Stop this!” he whisper-shouts in the direction of one of the panelists, earning a panicked expression from the doctor in question.

He fumbles to follow the order just given to him, “That’s, uh, fantastic news, Dr. Banerji, but I’m afraid it’s too late for you to vote. Procedure and all…”

“You never were a good liar, Cyrus,” Banerji tuts disapprovingly, even with his grin still firmly glued to his face. “Now then,” he takes his seat, Landry retreating to the audience, “Given the circumstances of my resurrection, I think we all know what I’m about to say. That’s going to be a ‘nay’ from me.”

Two more ‘nay’s echo Dr. Banerji, until the attention falls on Harper. Her brow furrows as she visibly regards her options, eyes roving across the hall before coming to rest on… Aurora. Aurora meets her gaze, attempting to force the anxiety from her eyes as best she can, still slumped in her seat and tapping her foot, an unstoppable beat that shakes her entire body as it continues and continues and continues, just like Harper’s gaze pinning her to the spot. Just like the nerves squirming inside of her, just like the exhaustion eating away at her.

Declan mutters something to Harper, every feature on his face drawn tight, a snarl splitting his lips as he glares at her, still bright red.

Harper draws in a deep breath, finally removing her eyes from Aurora and settling them on Rylen, Aurora relaxing as her heavy, contemplative gaze leaves her. “Dr. Damen, you’ve proven you’re someone who focuses as much on what a patient wants as what their body needs…” she pauses, Rylen visibly twitching with anxiety at the gap in speech. “But we’re not here to save bodies. We’re here to save lives. I vote nay,” Harper nods, Rylen instantaneously melting on the spot.

Her head bows to the podium, her shoulders rising and falling with deep, steadying breaths as the board continues, three more ‘nay’s sounding and applause beginning to echo at the prompting of Bryce Lahela, another of Rylen’s friends, a surgeon. But Rylen doesn’t move, eyes glued to the podium as she grips it, potentially even harder than before, her knuckles pale as they remain clenched.

The room spins into chaos around her, cheers from her friends, a few disappointed murmurings that Aurora may have to stamp out, and the shouts of Declan Nash as he attempts to fight the resolution. It’s mayhem, pandemonium, but the entire time, Rylen stays frozen, a peaceful island escape from the waves of disaster.

When Rylen’s head finally shoots up, a brilliant smile is on her lips in a heartbeat as she steps around the podium, nearly skipping as she walks to the board with her hand held out. She stops at every single panelist, shaking their hand and sharing small conversation with them, even the ones that worked for her downfall. By the time she reaches the end of the board, she’s almost bouncing on her feet as she turns back to her friends, rushing over to tackle Sienna Trinh in a hug, lifting her off her feet as she does.

All the while, Aurora’s sitting in the back of the hall, her foot no longer tapping as she shifts her gaze to the floor beneath her feet, observing the light playing of it, reflecting, creating shadows from nothing. That’s all it takes, is one spark, one illumination, one flicker to send the world careening to a stop or to kick it back into action. All it takes is one catalyst, one butterfly effect, for Aurora to sit alone, facing the floor as Rylen celebrates her victory. One tiny domino for her phone to buzz, ‘Looks like you’re stuck with me, Princess.’

It takes a second, but Aurora grins at the letters, at the message. Unabashedly, she grins for what feels like the first time in forever, not caring who sees, not caring what someone will think at Aurora Emery smiling and what that could possibly mean. She even snorts at the next message, the next letters, because she knows the exact beaming smile it’s meant to convey, the smile still sparkling across the room: ‘:DDDDDDDDDDDDDD’

#choices fanfic #open heart fanfic #oh dp #aurora emery #aurora x mc #not my favorite chapter with all the action #but were gonna get some more emotions going again soon

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komoryriku · 4 years ago

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Is Kairi Capable of Mind Manipulation? : Kairi’s Letters and the Power they May Hold

So. I have some personal theories about Kairi that I need to get off my chest. There’s a lot. Above is a scene from the KH3 opening that I will be breaking down later but for now, please keep it in mind as we go… 

First of all, I’m so relieved that finally it’s been revealed that Kairi was a pawn in Xehanort’s schemes, now I don’t have to waste time arguing for that. All I will say is that evidence of this has been here since kh1:

Okay, moving on.

What does Kairi do exactly? Not too much on screen, but here’s what we know so far. -She holds the power of a princess of heart… maybe. -She is sent out to Destiny Islands to draw out the key blade bearer (Riku) -She writes letters to Sora. -She is closely connected to Namine, loosely connected to Xion, and figuratively comparable to Aqua. -She claims her memories of home are a little hazy for her. -She loves Sora as a friend. -She becomes Sora’s Chirithy.

If you want to know ahead of time what my ultimate theory is, here you go: Kairi has magic powers of memory or mind manipulation, and her letters, specifically, are manipulating Sora. If you wanna see me break down why I think this, here we go.

Pre-requisites to this theory:

I would very much prefer not to have to regurgitate certain things that are common knowledge to people in the soriku fandom and kh in general. This analyst is subscribed to the idea that Kingdom Hearts is written with queer coding and gay intent, that Riku is the Light, the Sleeping Realm theory is truth, that Sora and Riku will be romantically linked in the end. My reasoning is based on my own two eyes as well as the meta discourse surrounding these readings among like-minds, so if you have time, please read:

-Obligatory Sleeping Realm Theory Link -The Necklace Theory (Which is just canon but still not explicit in game) -Queer CoM Analysis

Okay, onward!

Parallels:

We do not know much about Kairi as of yet, but what the games do give us is a string of VERY major, obvious Parallels. We are asked over the course of several games to compare Kairi to 3 specific girls: Namine. Xion. Aqua.

Let me break these down. Again, I’m so glad they finally revealed she’s a pawn so this parallel breakdown isn’t even half as long as it would’ve been otherwise hahah.

Namine.

Namine is said to be Kairi’s nobody. There is so much I find suspicious about that but for the sake of staying on topic, I won’t get into it, that’s another theory for another day (though I will flirt with it the speculation section). More importantly, she is objectively, directly associated with Kairi and the plot begs us to draw very close parallels between her and Kairi.

Namine has special powers. She can manipulate Sora’s memories and the memories of those close to him. The characters believe she can do this because she was formed from Kairi’s heart and Sora’s body, and I don’t know if that’s true, but I do take for granted that she is a nobody formed from Sora’s sacrifice and that her powers exist because of her connection with Kairi. Either way, what does she actually do?

Namine spends her days surrounded by white walls, drawing pictures on paper that seemingly have the power to manipulate Sora’s memories. This is a pretty specific skill she has, and if you ask me her art style is pretty advanced for a nobody who wasn’t even formed that long ago. She has the artistic eye to include reflective lighting in her work, which is not only beautiful and colorful but in my experience, it’s something a lot of young artists don’t even think to consider as beginners. If nothing else though, its a very specific style. I will be bringing this back up later for some really fun speculation.

These drawings she does are beautiful but also specifically are tied to her powers to manipulate memories.

What we also know about Namine is that she is being used for her powers against her will. Better analysts have covered this already so I will simply say Namine is a good and caring person who has magical manipulative powers that people were abusing her for. She betrayed her captors by the end of COM by refusing to hurt Sora any longer. All the while being tied back to Kairi. What they were making her do though, was manipulate Sora’s memories to replace all images of Kairi with herself… but also certain memories of Riku. Specifically, the memory of Riku swearing an oath to protect Sora as he gave Sora his crown necklace during the meteor shower (seriously, please read those pre-req theories). And ever since her debut, the games have never allowed us to stray from connecting her back very directly to Kairi. Namine is the most literal of parallels. Please keep all of this in mind for later.

Xion.

Xion, conceptually, is an extremely complicated character. She is tied to Kairi in ways that are not as literal as Namine, but she is still very closely associated with her. Once again, far better analysts can explain her better than I can, but here are the most important notes I will make about her:

-Xion is a puppet containing Sora’s memories. -The memories creating Xion are a complex amalgam of memories related to Sora himself, Kairi, and Riku.

All we really need to note for this Kairi Theory Essay is that Xion is another Kairi parallel that is directly associated with missing/manipulated memories as well. She is inadvertently taking these memories from Roxas, the Sora parallel, whom she is copied from, and these memories specifically belong to Sora. Twice in a row, Nomura has told us Kairi parallels are related to Sora’s memories being affected.

That’s all we really need to know for now, but I will also speculate further on Xion in relation to this theory later.~

Aqua

Aqua is not a literal Kairi parallel the way that Namine and Xion are. Aqua has no direct ties to Kairi the way they do, and her character is entirely original and not related to Kairi. However, Aqua is still figuratively a Kairi parallel, due to the role she plays in her story. I’ve already broken down elsewhere what role she plays that is meant to mirror Kairi, but the tl;dr of that is Aqua was set up as a pawn to observe, draw out her friends, and create a division between them. Like Kairi as well, she is not to be defined by these acts, because she truly loves her friends and dedicated her heart’s power to protecting them and saving them. She protects Ven’s body the way Kairi protected Sora’s bodily form. She also works to keep Ven from breaking by telling him he has always lived here with them and Eraqus, the same way Kairi as a Chirithy works to help Sora by taking his memory of Riku’s sacrifice away. Once again, even with the loosest of Kairi parallels, we see memory manipulation at play with the Sora parallel.

Chirithy

I will keep this short because I hope that you read the Sleeping Realm Theory and I also trust that you have the critical thinking skills to understand this symbolic (and literal) concept easily lol. Kairi is Sora’s chirithy the way Riku is Sora’s dream eater. A Chirithy is a specific kind of dream eater, however. A chirithy is made to follow you as your companion, and they specifically lead you into new timelines, taking away the traumatic memories you gained that caused the timeline to shift. We see this play out in KHUX, and with controversy, as the chirithies themselves discuss whether or not it’s actually morally okay for them to take those memories. Although that is a question, Kairi’s instincts are, in my opinion, purely and sweetly to protect Sora. She promised to keep him safe, (I’ve been supposing at that point in the loop she knew she was a Chirithy, and she most certainly was his chirithy by then either way given the ears on her hood appearing after Sora’s dream drop occurred). She does take Sora’s traumatic memories away, it is her job to do so, and I believe she does this solely because she means well and wants to keep him safe and smiling, as her letter to Sora suggests.

Unfortunately, what this specifically does though, is removes Sora’s memory of Riku’s sacrifice. It is stolen from him in that sense. Not only that, but because Sora’s memory of Riku’s sacrifice was taken, in spite of the event being etched onto his heart, and the pain of it being scarred into it, Sora credits Kairi as the source of the light he is following in the darkness. We know for a fact that that light is Riku’s because we saw the sacrifice, we remember it, we saw Sora call to it as Riku and receive a response, we even see Kairi twirl in front of the light and back away from it to lead Sora into it because it is not her light. Kairi, in a very literal way, has replaced Riku in Sora’s mind regarding who his light is. Kairi herself does not do this, it is Sora who fools himself because his memory was taken, but nevertheless, Kairi has just replaced Riku in Sora’s thoughts regarding this light and erased his memory of Riku’s sacrifice.

I will suggest more Things in the speculation section~

Now that all of that is out of the way, Lets Talk About Kairi’s Letters.

What do they do? Well, objectively, we do not know. That’s why this is a theory lol. But regardless of any magic or manipulation, letters are a means of forging a connection with others. Letters to friends by nature are words from the heart intended for someone you care about.

But literally speaking in the series, Kairi’s letters do something a little more special. In kh2 they forge a literal connection to Sora from Kairi. Sora is “trapped” in the dark realm with Riku, but pretty content to be so. No door opened, and that was the ending they had happily resigned to. It is not until Sora reads Kairi’s letter, emphasized by the camera, that the door to light opens. At the very least, we know for sure that manipulation or not, Kairi’s letters are capable of doing that much…

Kairi also tells us she writes letters to Sora and doesn’t even send them. For whatever reason, however, she sent the letter in Kh2 as soon as she remembered who Sora was post his reconstruction. And this is pretty much all we know for sure.

If I say “Kairi’s letters are manipulating Sora” thats rather jumping to conclusions, cuz obviously there are missing pieces. All we have is: Kairi—>Letters—> ___ —>Sora.

That’s not enough to make the conclusion. But that’s where those handy dandy parallels come in.

Namine—> Drawings—> Manipulate—>Sora Xion—->Memories—-> Borrowed—> (Roxas—>) Sora Aqua—-> White Lies—> Distract—> Ven Chirithy----> Memories----> Taken----> Keyblade Wielder

So as you can see, the missing piece that fits the puzzle, isn’t so hard to theory-craft. Especially between Namine and Kairi. It is a jump to a conclusion, but it is far from a leap. True or not, this is my working theory.

So it’s time for speculation.  Things that I have been exploring on the other side of that “leap”.

Kairis letters

Let’s start with the first letter we get to read from Kairi.

Pretty sweet sentiments right? But here is the thing about some of those lines in particular… “Many worlds sharing the same sky” is something Sora has already heard… from Riku.

Not to mention, something about this dark realm scene in Kh2 always bothered me… Sora is seemingly in utter bliss with Riku in the dark realm.

He does wanna get Riku home but if they’re stuck here, they are not complaining. And then the camera lingers for a pretty long time on Riku handing Sora that letter. That usually means they want me to notice it and consider it… Okay, time to consider it.~

The letter pretty certainly opened the door to light by forging a connection to Sora from the light world with Kairi. Sora was so content that he wasn’t even connecting to home. Not until he read this nice letter from his friend Kairi. There is nothing manipulative about that on its own… but we have been asked by the games to parallel Kairi to Namine so I think it’s fair to suggest Kairi’s creative writing should really be considered thoughtfully the way Namine’s drawings are. The most basic logic is these letters are affecting Sora’s mind in some way. What further leads me to think this? The only thing Sora was even thinking about in this scene before reading that letter was Riku. Riku’s company, Riku’s injury, Riku’s happiness, Riku, Riku, Riku. And then as someone else pointed out here, Sora sees Kairi in the light world after reading this letter and leaves Riku to struggle to shore on his own.

This doesn’t have to mean anything but we know Riku is injured, We know the Sun is Riku’s symbol, and Sora is running from Riku, eclipsing the Sun, and rushing back to shore where Kairi is waiting to welcome him home. It is jarring when you think about it. How did Sora go from thinking about nothing else BUT Riku to leaving him with a probably-broken-hip to struggle to shore on his own? It is no wonder Riku is always left to think he is going to be alone in life and he has no choice but to struggle out of the darkness on his own.

This mirrors something in particular….

The scene of Sora losing Riku to the darkness in the KH1 opening…

Followed by shot for shot re-animation of Sora chasing Riku’s Light in the KH3 Dive to the Heart.

And something about the scene in Kh1 always really bothered me… Sora was worried sick about Riku when he lost him to the sea- only to suddenly be happy and appear blissfully ignorant of Riku disappearing the moment he sees Kairi. As if he just suddenly forgot about him upon seeing her.

And I think the parallels speak for themselves. (Don’t forget about that beach scene in the Kh3 op either... we are getting to that.)

I’m not saying Kairi and her letters make Sora forget about Riku, but…

I’m also not saying Kairi’s letters replace memories of Riku with herself, I actually don’t know that there’s enough here to make that statement likely… So I won’t… say that…

(I hope you read those pre-req’s because I’m going to assume you speak the KH language regarding Sora, Riku, and Kairi vs, water, land and air, vs Light/Dark, the Sun, the Moon, Dawn, Sunset, Night… all that good stuff.)

Now let’s talk about her letter in 3.

Oh this is interesting. Repeating motifs. Almost as though the game is trying to tell us something crucial.

Full transcript of Kairi’s KH3 letter to Sora that she has no intention of sending:

I'm sorry I left without saying good-bye. Did Master Yen Sid tell you? I'm training to become a Keyblade wielder like you.  That's right. No more waiting for you to come back from your adventures.  I want to get out there and do my part to help.  Merlin has used his magic to bring us to a place where time doesn't matter. We can take as long as we need to complete our training. He's an amazing wizard.  Oh, and by "us," I mean me and lea.  He's really sorry for all the trouble he caused. I told him it's fine, but he won't stop apologizing.  I'll admit I was a little scared of him at first, but I've gotten to know him better. All he ever wanted was to help his friend.  Honestly, it's hard not to like him.  Every now and then, I catch him staring at me. When I ask what's wrong, he says, "I'm not sure. I think I'm forgetting something. Don't know what."  Sora, I think it may have something to do with you.  Your journey is all about helping people: some that you've never met before, and some like Lea that you have. They're all counting on you.  It won't be easy, but I hope you'll remain the happy and cheerful Sora I know.  There's no heart your smile can't reach.

In particular, this letter goes on and on about Lea and how he has turned over a new leaf and deserves forgiveness. Personally, I took this to mean Kairi is really hoping Sora will forgive her for the part she was forced to play in Xehanort’s plot, perhaps her writing even influencing his mind to do so via urging him to forgive Lea. You may notice that this would imply that Kairi is fully aware of her role in Norty Nort’s plot. And to that I say yes, it sure would. But not as much as her leading Sora around to her various “heart” pieces like a moth to the wrong flame in Re:Mind.

Anyway, this is not a letter she intends to send to Sora, and she makes a note of this to Lea, even when he tells her plainly that Merlin will deliver it for her. If we keep in mind that Namine’s art doesn’t even need to be seen by Sora for the mind tricks to work, then perhaps- Sora really doesn’t even need to receive this letter for its influence to work. This would rather make her frantic attempt to send the letter in Kh2 a little strange, but consider this: Her close connections to Sora are potentially based very heavily on these letters. Especially if some of her connections are based on making him forget Riku at various points. Having forgotten Sora in Kh2 until he was reconstructed, and considering that Sora barely reacts to her reunion hug with him, it rather makes a lot of sense that Kairi needed to forge a new connection with him, via one of her letters. In that case, Sora needed to actually read it.

KH3 OP

Beach Scene

Now, finally, I want to talk about that part of the Kh3 opening I mentioned at the very beginning. We are back. Once again, I trust you speak the language of Kh symbolism.

This section begins with Kairi suddenly appearing against a bright white background. Forgive me if I suggest hey, that reminds me of Namine’s white walls, or some blank pages... Next, Sora appears in the empty white environment, which remains white until, seemingly, their eyes meet. And THEN, after that delay, the world of Destiny Islands starts rendering in like a game slowly loading a world on a slow engine. Once again, the motif of Sora standing in the ocean, and running up to Kairi on the shore takes place. He is happy to see her. Perhaps he thinks he found the Light that Chirithy told him to search for. Hey this time Kairi is even running into the sea to meet him instead of waiting for him, just like she said! good for her~. Anyway. As they run out to meet each other, however, lightning strikes. Sora doesn’t see it, but he clearly senses it in some way and stops, (didn’t someone once tell Sora to mind what he hears and not what he sees?~). The camera then zooms out to reveal Sora and Kairi as pieces on a chess board in Nort and Eraqus’ game. Now, this essayist takes for granted that Riku is the Light cuz the text says so. Because of that, my first instinct is to say the purple lighting that we saw represents Riku. A forgotten, heartbroken, lonely Riku. Lightning being one of the most destructive forms of light after all, and Riku would be particularly hurt to know that Sora has forgotten him.

Where is Riku?

What is really interesting about this opening is the severe, odd, lack of Riku. He is missing throughout most of it but in particular when Sora is fighting Xemnas. In the opening for Dream Drop Distance, Riku is very much there, and the animations of him harmoniously fighting with Sora, as well as protecting Sora, self sacrificially are prominent, are there because they want you to remember exactly what happened in that scene and what Riku did.

Only for that to be absent from Sora’s boss battle review sequence in Kh3’s opening. At first, I found his absence annoying but now I’ve come to realize there is a reason for it. The popular theory is that it relates to Sora’s memories being taken away. Riku’s sacrifice most certainly was one of them, thanks to Kairi as his chirithy, but that’s not the memory missing from the opening sequence. It’s basically Riku in general outside of the fall of Destiny Islands, the cast shot, and the shot of him walking into the light from shadow. There isn’t a review of previous games in which Riku played the crucial role he did, and nothing from Dream Drop Distance. To that I personally say, this is most likely foreshadowing that Sora will lose ALL his memories of Riku- as his entry fee to play the Reaper’s Game in Shibuya… Oh yes, TWEWY is also a pre-requisite for this theory lol but you should also play it in general cuz it’s a great story and if nothing else is obviously crucial to what comes next in Kingdom Hearts. Highly speculative, but my assumption is that once Sora beats the game and Joshua returns all of his memories, he will give Sora EVERYTHING back, including anything Kairi has removed as his chirithy or anything she has manipulated as herself.

Further Parallel Speculation

Remember when I said I’d love to elaborate? Well here we are~ We’re gonna get super gay too.

Namine:

Namine is a figure that represents, to me, a brilliant use of queer coding about a queer struggle known as compulsory heterosexuality (or comp-het for short as I’ll be repeating this term a lot). If you made it this far and aren’t lgbt savvy then I’ll tell you that comp-het means compulsively feeling attraction to someone of the opposite sex based on heteronormative conditioning. As Sora roams through Castle Oblivion, he is constantly finding himself misplacing memories of Kairi onto Namine followed by eventually memories of Riku onto Namine. This is one of the most literal depictions of the comp-het phenomenon I’ve ever seen, and it is BOLDLY placed in a mainstream video game from the year 2003. It’s quite admirable in my opinion. Namine’s abilities grant us a convoluted plot so confusing that most people will not understand right away, but to the queer eye familiar with comp-het, it provides a strong implication that Sora may be even more confused than we think about who it is he is in love with. To illustrate, it means Sora thinks he likes Kairi romantically cuz society told him being straight is the default way we live. In actuality, he is projecting his feelings for Riku onto Kairi, (with Riku doing the same until COM and onward), and in COM, those Riku->Kairi feelings are projected onto Namine. She creates another layer of distance between them. But even without her presence, Kairi is still there between them, a question that begs to be answered, and yet another extremely common parallel.

Namine is extremely uncomfortable taking the necklace memory of Riku and imposing herself on it. But when you consider Kairi may have been manipulating Sora, it makes me also wonder how many of Sora’s Kairi memories are actually Riku memories, and whether or not Namine even CAN fix those memories… Just food for thought. Speaking of comp-het...

Xion Xion is an even more convoluted character creation, designed to confuse you even more than Namine does. In my eyes, Xion is very literally comp-het personified. Xion, as far as we’ve been told, is a puppet, a copy of Roxas but blank slate. A literal nobody. They are only what you project onto them. And what did Xion become?

Xion became a real confusing amalgam of so many things. -Roxas initially projects GirlTM onto her. Literally. This makes sense since he already has Axel, a male friend, and his instincts coming from Sora’s memories casually assume a female friend is needed to complete their trio. This is because Kairi was that female friend to Sora. -Over time, as Xion craves becoming whole, she inadvertently receives more memories from Roxas (Sora), of Kairi and obtains her face (albeit with black hair, and there are numerous theories about why that is but this essay is already really long lol). -The strange thing is though- despite having Kairi’s face, the hints we get are that Riku memories are zapping into her too. Not only that, but her death grants Roxas Oblivion as she enters his heart. -I don’t think I need to explain what that implies, but to keep it short, Oblivion is representative of Riku’s oath to Sora associated with the necklace memory. Namine was correct to tell Ansem the Wise that the missing memories are crucial to Sora. I have an analysis on Oblivion vs Promise Keeper that I keep meaning to post but the tl;dr of it is that Oblivion has nothing whatsoever to do with Kairi and EVERYTHING ENTIRELY to do with Riku and his oath to protect Sora. It should have no association with her whatsoever. She is also Roxas’ forgotten friend once the memories of her go away the way Sora’s memories of Riku will. -The manga also much more clearly shows us that the feelings Xion is thriving on from Sora are feelings associated with Riku: the empowerment he feels when fighting with friends.

So if I may, here is the returning theme of projection, of misplaced affection, of misplaced memories. This theme is SO CONSTANT with every Kairi scene and parallel we get, and I do not think it is a stretch to say they are not just here to discuss queer themes of compulsory heterosexuality, but are integral to the plot of KH in a very literal, physical way. In other words, it comes up with Kairi way too often to make mind manipulation a leap. It’s still a jump, but it is not a leap.

Aqua

Aqua is not a literal Kairi parallel the way Namine and Xion are, so she does not bring any major compulsory heterosexuality themes to the table, and her “mind manipulation”, if my theory on white lies between the BBS trio is correct, is pretty minuscule as far as we can tell. This does not mean there isn’t anything to speculate on regarding Kairi’s powers though.

Aqua is a gifted mage, and places a protective spell on Kairi when they meet. This is such a sweet and sentimental moment and I love it so much. She also literally gives her friends way finder charms based on paopu fruits the way Kairi does for Sora. So there are some literal parallels to be found there, but the ideas that concern me most are these-

Aqua is associated with magic. Given that Aqua, Namine, and Xion, are all associated with water, like Kairi, (again I assume you speak the KH language of symbolism and metaphor), and some form of magic (Namine with mind powers, and Xion wielding the key blade), is it possible that Kairi is also a mage of some kind? Or at least harbors the powers of a mage, the way she harnesses the power of a princess of heart?

Re:Mind menu screen art

This is an analysis I’ve been dying to post but only since Kairi has been outed as a pawn spy for Xehanort have I felt free enough to do so without going through the trouble of proving her association with the dark side. You are welcome to dismiss this analysis for reading too much into it but if you’re as deep into this as I am then here we go~

First of all, I want to call attention to how beautiful this art is, and how wonderfully symbolic I think it is, and what it actually reminds me of. Do you remember my comments earlier about Namine having a specific art style, which incorporates reflective light in her coloring? Look at the oceanic blue in Sora’s grey pants and jacket. Look at the yellow from sunlight in Sora’s hair. Look at the blue and yellow reflecting in Kairi’s pink dress and her red hair. Look at the tinge of blue from the sea reflecting on Sora’s paopu fruit. I am not saying this menu art is supposed to be literally drawn by Namine, I sincerely do not think it is lol, this is a symbolic image. But I do think it is meant to REMIND us of Namine’s art.

This menu screen, like the blank pages of a sketch book or notebook, like the beach scene in the KH3 opening, begins with a white screen. Slowly fading in, like the beach scene in the KH3 opening, or a game with a slow loading engine, we have a sketch of Sora. Sora’s feet appear already immersed in the water, as he is eating a paopu fruit, continuing his walk out to sea that we have been seeing him take since kh1 with these key arts. Sora is walking out into the ocean alone, and the coloring fades in bringing the scene to life. This is all the menu art is for KH3.

When Re:Mind was released, the menu screen for it evolved. Now, suddenly fading into this pre-existing scene is a drawing of Kairi, inserted into the moment. Kairi is depicted with a paopu fruit of her own, and she enters the scene with her feet standing on top of the water, not immersed like Sora’s the way they should be considering the depth of the water. This could be a mistake and nothing more… except the water has splash animations added around their feet, meaning this is something someone absolutely should have caught because animations are here drawing our attention to it. This would imply that it means something, so- what? Kairi is not immersed in the ocean, (darkness?), the way Sora is. She is walking /on/ water, not in it. I think this may very well be representative of her protecting Sora’s form as he navigates the new timeline in the dream scape, similar to when we see Riku and Sora walking on water in the dark realm. Or it may represent the way she is navigating darkness but is not immersed in darkness. She treads over it, not through it.

We do not know what this menu screen means. But here is my take on it. Because it is meant to remind us of Namine, we should consider mind manipulation is at play. Because Kairi appears here only after Re:Mind is released, in her Chirithy hood and eating a paopu with Sora, we are to recognize this as the second timeline, in which Kairi has been added to Sora’s journey like a figure in Namine’s art. We should also remember that as Sora’s chirithy, she has removed his traumatic memory of the timeline shift and very specifically removed his memory of Riku dying as he sacrificed himself for Sora. As the title implies, the game wants to remind us of what happened: the timeline being rewritten, as well as Sora’s Memories being rewritten, and in a sense, Sora’s MIND being REwritten. So much to do with mind and memory being affected...

A couple more theories as food for thought:

Kairi’s Grandmother:

You may have been wondering how Kairi could be so pure of heart, as far as we are aware, and yet capable of morally grey things like manipulation at best, and outright terrible things at worst? Well, here is my theory: Kairi’s grandmother has been held hostage and used as leverage against Kairi. For as often as Kairi has been used as a catalyst to bait Sora into acting for Xehanort’s schemes, we know Norty and the powers he works for, (Master of Masters), are no strangers to keeping hostages as motivation for their pawns. I’m just going to fill in the missing blanks between “Kairi’s missing grandmother” and “Kairi acting for the dark side”. Remember her letter to Sora that she didn’t send where she told Sora that Lea was just acting out evil to save his friend, and he’s actually a very good guy and a lovable friend you can’t help forgiving?

I think this is intending to draw a redemption arc parallel between Kairi and Lea that is even more literal than you think. Axel was acting out harshly because he would do anything to bring Roxas back, even willing to destroy Sora to make that happen. If Kairi’s only family was being kept prisoner and threatened with death unless Kairi did what she was told, how can you blame Kairi for her actions? Especially when she started playing the role of a pawn as a helpless child. We don’t know what she’s been through, but probably a lot of traumatic experiences. There is no reason to consider Kairi evil, and although you can explain her actions any number of ways, this one seems the most likely to me.

Her parallels likewise have had a reasonable motivation for their actions if they were even willful at all. 

-Namine herself was being held captive, with the organization forcing her to commit acts of violating mind manipulation. Seeing how genuinely kind Sora was, however, she eventually refused to be their pawn anymore -Xion did not even willfully take Sora’s memories, she was a complete victim of circumstance. Even when wanting to run away, however, Roxas simply was not going to live if she were around to continue absorbing his powers. Thus she chooses to return to Sora. -Aqua is not spying on Terra or trying to drag Ven home because she wants to. She is doing it because Eraqus burdened her with this task. She protects Ven with all she has in the end, and sacrifices herself to give Terra a chance at survival.

Do not assume that Kairi being capable of doing these things, or actually doing them makes her evil. KH has been pretty consistent about showing the ways in which women are often forced by the patriarchy to perform various deeds against their will and there is no reason to hate her for this or think the worst of her when she is more than likely just as much a victim of circumstance as anybody else in her position would be. I think it’s very fair to be mad at someone in her position if you were the one being manipulated by her, but never forget to be fair in your judgement of this fictional character being manipulated by the forces of evil in this fictional world which uses her as a pawn. Kairi can still a good person of good intent even if she had to do bad things.  

Time to reach: Ava

Since I’m already several layers deep in speculation I just thought I’d throw this out there as food for thought. It’s a popular theory that Ava, the missing foreteller, is dwelling within Kairi’s heart, which could possibly mean Namine is Ava’s nobody the way Roxas is likely Ven’s, as they were both dwelling in Kairi’s heart and Sora’s heart respectively when Sora sacrificed himself. Ava is particualrly skilled in the art of Illusions, which is pretty relevant to the idea that Kairi and Namine are directly manipulating Sora’s mind. Namine’s powers involve rearranging memories, and drawing new memories illustration what she is creating. She is literally creating illusions in the mind. If Ava is dwelling in Kairi’s heart, perhaps logically Kairi can use these powers but not directly. She cannot create illusions out of thin air, but can play tricks on the mind with them. Namine forming from Kairi’s heart having meshed with Ava’s heart might thus be able to create mind illusions, using drawn illusions. Is Ava the source of Kairi’s powers? Is Ava the princess of heart which Kairi is using to do her jobs? Well, I don’t know lol. It’s just out there as food for thought.

In Conclusion.... Nothing, really lol

All we have to go on are consistent parallels and strong guesses. Kairi may or may not be able to manipulate minds, and her letters may or may not influence Sora’s mind. I don’t know. It is worth considering though, I think. However, I ask that you judge Kairi fairly, open mindedly, and do not underestimate how powerful she may very well be. I cannot wait to see what will be revealed about her character in the future.

#kingdom hearts #soriku #kairi #kh theory #kh kairi #kingdom hearts 3 #kh3

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yume-fanfare · 4 years ago

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hi i am that anon from like 29th Dec (last dang year) who said i read ur tsuki no hime and loved it and that u understand Aizou. i have read more of ur stuff since then and now i NEED to ask you for writing advice, on both characterization and general writing tips since I didnt mention it before. Sorry about that! i just forgot i sent an ask and i do not get notifs at all (or does anon asks not get notifs?) Also, ART STUDENT! That's why the nice art and art leaning!! I feel smart for sensing it

oh yup, tumblr doesn't send notifs for anon asks! but i'm glad you did see the answer anyway

this post is hideously long, so answer under the cut!

so, on characterization: it is mostly a matter of what would they say, rather than what you want them to say. the joke about "the characters do what they want to" instead of what the writer wants is pretty much true if you want them to be in character lol (that's why sometimes a little bit of OoC isn't too bad)

checking the source material is the most important thing: look at prior similar interactions the characters have had and how they reacted

this is kind of hard with LIPxLIP, as there aren't that many translated texts about them but with honeyworks the most canon and reliable thing to use as reference are the mvs. the mvs are drawn in a way that can pretty much be understood even if you don't have the lyrics, and sometimes it's even better if you can't read them, to properly focus on the images better

look at their expressions closely: while aizou is always explosive in his anger, yuujirou often has a more indifferent expression. so, when they fight, aizou is probably the one to blow up first while yuujirou maintains his composure better. it's kind of the classic "this was only a brief passing panel but i am going to expand on it" www

but the thing about fanfiction is that it's always a bit of a character analysis in itself. you don't start writing having already a color-coded folder of possible situations and reactions a character would have for each setting. you just throw the characters in a scenario and then think from there onwards, and eventually you'll be able to have the folder of situations and what you think their reactions would be like. (though, this links back to the prior point, if the characters have gone through a similar situation in canon, use that as guide! plus, finding little references to canon when reading is always fun)

for general writing, i'm going to mostly talk about my own experiences and process! i'm in no way a professional though

the basic is reading a lot. not just books but also fanfic. in fact, since you're writing fanfic, i Encourage you to read fanfic. even if your story ends up novel length, the way of treating the story is different from that of an actual novel. for example, because you're working under the premise that everyone knows the characters already. the general style of fics is different as well.

in fact, the style is the main reason i'm saying this slfkslfkslkf

read a lot of stuff and find a style you like. think of it as sewing together pieces from here and there to make a frankenstein amalgamation: this person's metaphors, the comparisons from here, the descriptions from there

personally, i adore the "long one-shot with a long title formatted (like this)" fics that are mostly feelings and descriptions and as little dialogue as possible, and some that occasionally play with the "show don't tell" rule, and some months ago i read a book whose descriptions amazed me because you could feel what the character was focusing on the most, rather than being general descriptions of the situation (i actually have a lot of thoughts about descriptions but that's a post for another day). but also i really like dialogue and plot-driven stories, descriptions can get boring and before trying to break rules, you have to be really good at following them

but, let's go step by step: developing an idea

for this i'm going to mostly reference the multichap i finished a while ago as an example

i started with just a few vague concepts in mind: non-idol au with aizou who does some sport and likes music but is insecure about his singing and yuujirou who does some music related thing and encourages him to sing in a way that's somehow related to the hozier song to noisemaking (sing), because it's what inspired me to write in the first place

then, from then onwards i wrote down what would happen in the first chapter of the story bullet-point-list-style, including things like the roommates part or the clubs the boys were in (at first yuujirou was in the choir club lol the change was a last second decision that idk why i took) and then bits of dialogue here and there that would be The Turning Points. those first dialogues were for the fight at the end of ch 1, the apology-date in ch 3 and then some vaguely unused ones for the "yuujirou encourages aizou" part, as those were the first key moments i thought of

because, since it's enemies to friends to lovers, an important aspect was character development

not all fics have character development bc not all of them are long enough (if you're aiming for short and sweet then there's no need). but if they do, i recommend you write down how the character was at the beginning of the story and then how they were at the end and then fill in the middle later, think of what those key turning points that made the character change were (the more little things you add, the more gradual it'll be)

samishigariya illustrates this very nicely: the song starts and finishes with the same lines, but the ending ones feel more light-hearted. the beginning has pre-arisa ken and pre-getting-along-with-yuujirou aizou, when they were the lonely people the title mentioned, and the ending, when they're not lonely anymore. the in between can be seen in depth during the other songs: ken before arisa was a playboy who didn't take love seriously, but after meeting her he realized that games were not all there was to love; and aizou used to be quite cranky and high-key a loner, but then he "meets precious things and knows of love". i will not elaborate on that because this isn't an aiyuu post but Oh You Know

for the fic, aizou would go through that same process, more or less: someone who doesn't really form meaningful connections with people but who, in the end, would end up having quite a bunch of people who care about him as his relationship with yuujirou advances too

since the relationship was the main focus, i wrote a very simple outline for how it would develop throughout 5 hypothetical chapters that was just: 1. civil w each other but mostly bad > 2. bad > 3. half friends > 4. pining > 5. date

and then with that in mind and the bullet point list, the final basic outline ended up like this:

there were scraped ideas and ideas that made it in later, but i believe having a simple outline, a bare skeleton to add things to, is important. stories need continuity, development requires a prior buildup

it's especially important in multichapter fics where you post as you write, you need to have a more or less clear idea of what's going to happen because you can't ignore scenes you've already posted

shorter stories don't need it as much, you can think as you go, but it's still helpful to know where you're going with things to avoid getting stuck

and, on getting stuck: don't be afraid of deleting things. if you can't figure out how to continue things, then delete the situation and start again. it might feel like you'd be wasting time but in the end, it is so much better than being stuck on the same scene for weeks

in fact, you don't have to write in order. jump to the next scene and you'll figure it out later. you Can write the scene you want to write and then build everything else around it

it's normal to write a scene and then realize it would make more sense later in the story, or that it would be better if you added another scene earlier, or sometimes you just find it easier to jump from one part of the story to another. rely on your outline to keep track of what you've written, what you have left to write and what's the best way to arrange your story. make your story understandable

which bring us to editing

there's a lot of much better posts on editing stories, but yeah ctrl+f is your best friend: don't repeat yourself too much. and be sure to vary sentence and paragraph length, as well as sentence structure, to give dynamism to the writing

now, i've mentioned before the show, don't tell rule, but i'm going to talk a bit more about it because it's quite important

once again there's a lot of posts that explain more in depth what it is, so i'm not going to expand too much on that, but, very basically, try to avoid things like "then some time passed and they became friends". explain it: what happened exactly? how did they become friends? if it's important, show it to us, instead of summarizing

since things like these make the story longer, it also gives room for more development and proper explanation for things that happen

for example, the fic was originally going to start with them already in the room, and the whole situation would have been explained in a single paragraph somewhere, but by actually adding the scene where they first arrive to the dorms and argue with the lady at the main desk, the story flows better and it let me actually describe their first meeting

and uuuhhh i think that's all? this took super long to write i hope i didn't forget any super basic stuff lol

i want to add that for enemies to lovers i greatly recommend this post bc it's super good but yeah i think that's basically it, if you have any more specific questions just shoot me an ask

#god this is so long #how should i tag this #tutorials #i guess #anonymous #preguntas

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lairofsentinel · 4 years ago

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I love your BG3 analysis posts and wanted to get your insight into one of Gale's lines. On point 21 you discuss his 'doubt' lines. There's another line that I find similar / fitting: if the main char tells Gale they think their night together was a mistake then he says something like "Let me clear your mind of doubts: it absolutely wasn't." He doesn't discuss the 'why' of it - or express he's disappointed but accepts their choice. He tries to discourage that line of thinking outright. Thoughts?

Hey, hello! Thanks for reading those big posts. :D

[Baldur’s Gate 3 Early Access Spoilers]

For those who don't know what those numbers mean: [Gale in 27 points or more]

Yeah, in (21) I found curious that he just says "doubt is a spoilsport" in another desperate attempt to make the MC stop thinking about it, and go for him already. Yes, you are right. The other line afterwards, when the MC shows doubts again about the whole night, he desperately tries to cast them aside. Again! They are like attempts of "no, no, dear, stop thinking right there. We are not a mistake, we are just we. Stop thinking. I don't care if I encourage questioning in general. On this matter, question not" XD

Which I found hilarious in comparison with his personality which is ALL the time in his mode "we need to doubt about everything", because well, that's a scholar. Scholars tend to be better at questioning than knowing things most of the time. This shows once more that he is desperate to stay with the MC, so far. I want to believe that there are not more hidden secrets, or ill-intended motives coming from him.

His mental state by the time he meets the MC is quite a mess. If you think that since too young he was abandoned by Mystra with that orb of Netherese devastation stuck in his chest... we can assume that there is a high chance for him to have been alone ever since. The quest in saving himself from that bomb probably prevented him to use time and energy in relationships (like I say in (15)), and by (12) we know he feels deadly alone. Especially if we take his description of how the bomb makes him feel, which is an increasing terror the longer he stays without consuming artefacts.

If you fail in that conversation of the Loss scene, when you insist about what he lost, he will push the MC away and will say something like "I'm strong enough to keep on". But we know that by the end of that night (or after the party in case MC did not romance him), he will say it anyway. He will talk about Mystra abandonment. He can't hold it anymore. He needs to share the burden and find someone to trust. Which will be the MC, as a friend or a lover.

I still think about the mind-shocking impact that the Weave scene caused him. It's not only what he states, his mindset has been focused on solving his bomb condition for too long. Relationships have been out of question for a while (15). And then, he has this Weave moment with the MC showing him their romantic interest; it not only took him by surprise, it caught him quite vulnerable too (too much feeling of loneliness and fear and despair plus the tadpoles looming danger), so the event had a stronger effect than he lets show in that moment. We know he thinks about that event the following days in between the Weave scene and the party, and apparently, that makes a click in him.

As I said, he is desperate for the MC who shared that magic moment of the Weave. Magic is his life, as he said, and sharing it with someone who has supported him and giving him their trust, it moves the ground he is walking on.

He is a char that, when a chance appears, he doesn't want to let is waste. And that romantic scene in the weave was a completely unexpected chance happening in front of him. Serendipity, as he said. (I don't know if by choosing the last option, the one in which you imagine nothing, Gale will want something anyway. I have to explore that.) (** I already explored this [here] **)

In sum, the concept here is that, as a scholar, he is into doubts and questioning all what you want. He will encourage such attitude in the MC. Except when it comes to question his emotions for the MC and their night together. Because questioning them, may cause abandon him. We also need to remember he was abandoned. Abandonment issues must to be added to his psychological profile. It was probably this issue the one that made him wait to the last moment before saying the truth. Because he is all about consent and let people know the truth, but he freaked out at the thought that maybe that truth could mean a second abandonment. That fear is there even if the MC did not romance him. He reached to a point in his life where loneliness, the bomb, and the tadpole became too heavy to deal with alone anymore. He needs the MC. And needs to be sure that they won't abandon him. That's why Gale ends up doing that rotten move of saying the truth only after sleeping with the romanced MC and after all that speech of the book of Anm: through intimacy he wanted to have a deeper link with the MC in order to prevent the abandonment. This is why he says “after all what we passed through, after the night we spent together”. He wants the MC baaaadly. And he wants not to be abandoned again. You see him bending and breaking his usual philosophy just to avoid abandonment. That's... a bit dangerous.

Once more it gives me the feeling that Gale is a nice mature character, who knows where he walks as long as we are not in the emotional ground. Emotional-wise... seems that Gale has pretty bad experiences, filled with over-idealised situations (Mystra) or over-darkened by misery (his bomb condition and now the tadpole) and in the back of all that there is a constant abandonment issue that may make some situations quite... complicated.

Asking for middle reactions to Gale on these matters seems to be a bit too much for his char. XD This is why I like to joke that he is basically proposing the MC right there... I mean, the book of Anm speech? If you choose “hey Gale, we are not newlywed (stressing that fact), but newly acquainted”, he gives a shit to the definitions of the words (the scholar, uh), he says “let's write the prequel”. One can interpret it like... he is assuming he and the MC are walking that path through and through. He is riiight heading into marriage. Lol. I personally would not like this kind of chars, but I make my exception here because, at least, Gale has a solid reason to be this way: he may die at any moment.

This kind of soft emotional instability char may be a dangerous compound in Larian's hands. You see, Larian in DOS2 offered romances that clearly were not going to last after the ending of the game; and you had hints of that pretty early in the game: one companion was married looking for their spouse, and another was betrothed, and had a fling with the MC meanwhile, if you want to. Another companion you can romance, simply disappears later by the end of the game. So... Larian... is not Bioware. Having a man like Gale that can break or bend his usual philosophy and his morals to a certain degree when it comes to matters of the heart.... well... it's dangerous, to say the least.

I fear Mystra appearing, and telling him that she abandoned him not because she wanted to, but because the netherese orb put her in danger (a logical reason that Gale could accept without problems no matter how much he suffered because of it, check (4),(14) and (20) ). And if Gale gets rid of that orb, and Mystra asks him to be his Chosen One “with benefits” once more (lol)... I'm not so sure if he will not abandon the MC. Unless the MC accepts a polyamory relationship (with a goddess? XD), because I totally see Gale has no issues with Mystra or MC having lovers besides him.

Magic is his life, and he longs a lot the powers granted by the title of the Chosen One. And Mystra's affections are where the true magical power lays (Gale's own words). So.... yes. Dangerous.

Ah, damn... I derailed again. Sorry.

More content of bg3 in general [here]

#gale #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 spoilers #I derail so horribly... forgive me for that...#Gale is a step upper than Ifan so far... so... expect this #also it's clear I'm writting a fic right? all that material gathering? can't be explained of any other way xD

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rosenpacht · 5 years ago

Text

(jaehyun’s) ESTP as a person😘 pt. 3

DISCLAIMER: This post is in no way trying to describe how Jaehyun is in real life, or to tell what his likes and dislikes are. This post indicates on ESTP’s traits, how they think, what they like and what they don’t like, what they usually do in general. Although, I might try to make insinuations here and there, but that’s just it, an insinuation.

Click here to read pt. 1

Click here to read pt. 2

Click here to read my analysis on Jaehyun’s MBTI

Hey, y’all!!! I’m backkkk. As I said in the last post, I’ll be writing about ESTP’s love language. There are a few references on this, and some are different than the others, so I’m just gonna try to pick the ones that probably suit us the most. Without further ado.....

ESTP LOVE LANGUAGE

So, in general there are five love languages:

Acts of Service

Gifts

Words of Affirmation

Quality Time

Physical Touch

I found a couple of sources that state the ESTPs love sign, and there were different versions of it. But I feel like this one is the one that is closest to what I feel ESTP is like

(source: thoughtcatalog.com)

Now, I’m gonna try to explain one by one and try to rank it based on which one I think we would most likely do to the ones that we care.

QUALITY TIME

ESTP, being the ever so present type, we love to do things in action. That being said, spending time with our significant others is always a number one for us. ESTP will take you out to do things with us, it could be as simple as a walk together in a park, or even travelling together. We love to share life experiences with our partner, because we want them to feel the excitement that we feel when we do something. I feel like long distance relationship would be hard for us? I’ve never been in one actually, but I feel like we would always have the need to see each other, or else we would be occupied with the side of the world that we’re currently in, and in turn start to forget about the other side of the world? Because we’re very present, and it’s kinda hard for us to dwell on things that’s not in front of our eyes. Anyways, that’s just my analysis though. Let me know if you’re an ESTP and you’ve been in a long distance relationship.

So, if an ESTP is constantly bugging you to go somewhere with them, just know that you mean something to them. Trust me, we don’t like wasting our time with people we don’t want to hang out with, we’d rather stay home and do something else altogether (lol).

I’d like to share one of my kinda funny experience. So I was interested in this INTJ guy one time. At that time, I was already into MBTI but I was still learning a few things and I absolutely didn’t know what INTJs were like. Turns out, they’re like probably one of the most introverted types. Whereas me, I was like 95% extroverted. So, my kind of date was like going to the movies, shopping at the mall, etc. And I was the one who was always initiating it, like, hey, let’s go out tomorrow. And by the end of the day, I was like, what are you doing tomorrow? Are you free? Let’s catch this movie. And by the SECOND date, he was like, “Don’t you ever get tired? I’m actually tired from just keeping up with you.” HE LITTERALLY SAID THAT. And he literally got sick the next day. I’m not saying that he got sick becasue of me... BUt... maybe, tho? This is like soooooo funny once I read about INTJs, becasue they’re almost like the polar opposite of ESTP. SHOUT OUT TO INTJs OUT THERE! Y’all are intellectuals! (That dude is like a genius and a psychic I swear)

PHYSICAL TOUCH

Contrary to the chart above, I feel like this type comes second to quality time. Touching, for me at least, kinda shows affections. It doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual, just a simple pinching your cheeks, or caressing your hand casually. Those simple things, coming from us, shows that you mean something to us. We are not good with words (again, because FE is our third function), so we refer to touches to convey our feelings.

Sometimes, though, it also means that we enjoy being around you. Like an affirmation that ‘oh, you’re here with me, and I love it’. Even in a platonic relationship, we like to touch. Like a friendly slap on the arm, or like hugs or cuddles. I am widely known for being touchy with my close guy friends. At first, I thought nothing of it, because I just love kidding around with them and would sometimes like poke here and there, and would hug or cuddle out of nowhere. UNTIL, one day I found out that their girlfriends actually despised me because they thought I was flirty and being... cheap(?). Anyways, I just laughed it off because, come on, that’s just who I am, it’s not like I sleep around with their boyfriends or something.

ACTS OF SERVICE

We don’t do things for people just for the sake of it, or to please other people. If anything, we hate being told what to do. ESTPs are free spirited people, and we don’t like being obligated to do something. And we’re very efficient and practical people. So we don’t do a lot of things for other people.

Don’t get me wrong, though, we’re not ignorant. We just always have to have this reasoning behind everything that we do. Like, why would I go through so much effort just to do this to this person. I mean, they would probably still survive without even my help. But, of course, if you ask for our help, we WILL help you. We’re just not gonna help you out of the blue. You gotta ask for it.

BUT when it comes to someone we truly care, we will know if you need our help. We will spot where you lack on something, or where you’re having a hard time, why you’re going through it. And we will have this feeling inside us like we want to help you overcome your hardships. Because, even though it’s our third function, the EXTROVERTED FEELING function of us is still there, lingering in the back of our mind. And I guess it’s being triggered when we see someone we love or care is in a hard time.

So, when an ESTP is suddenly giving you help without you even asking it, it means that they care about you, and that they’re thinking about you.

Now, in Jaehyun’s instance, I can see why people mistook him for an ENFJ (I finally see some light in this matter). In some cases, the members say that Jaehyun helped them get through things, like I believe Jungwoo said something about this? And someone in the Dream too said that Jaehyun was a reliable hyung. And it’s actually very visible with Winwin. Like, we can all see, at the beginning period of Winwin joining NCT, Jaehyun always put him under his wing. You can see it in NCT LIFE where they had a cooking competition, and the one where they went to Paju(?), like he was always helping him, and keeping him company, more so than the other members. I think it’s because he was finally having a friend (same aged friend)? Like he realizes that Winwin is having a hard time, and it’s his friend, so he wants him to do better. This thing is mentioned by other members because it’s probably memorable to them, but I feel like it’s actually not something that Jaehyun would do out of nilly-willy. He does that because he cares about those members alot. And that’s why people mistook him as an ENFJ (which is an FE dominant).

GIFTS

This one is related to my last post.

I feel like ESTPs don’t like doing things that aren’t practical(?), because we’re very practical. So, putting efforts into something that we don’t think is worth it, or is getting us to what we want to achieve, is a waste of our time. That’s why, I’d like to think that ESTPs are very efficient. So, to us, buying things for other people just for the sake of it is inefficient.

For example, if you read my last post about the graduation, while my other friend will buy tons of gifts for her friends out of.... I don’t know, obligations perhaps? Or just simply for the sake of being kind? Us ESTPs, we’re gonna have this thought inside our head like, why should I buy them gifts? I mean, yes, we’re friends, but we barely talk to each other. If I buy them gift, then does that mean I have to buy others gifts too? That’s too inconvenient.

So when we do buy something for other people, it means that we’re thinking of them. That they’re in the back of our mind. It’s not necessarily in a romantic way. For instance, I am somehow known for being insensitive becasue I barely even gifted my friends on their birthday. And one day, I was doing internship at this hospital, and it was on a huge religious holiday where we would usually spend time at home with our family, but we were here at this hospital tending to emergency patients. At that time, my friend, who was an ISFJ btw, the most big soft hearted person I’ve ever known, she was soooo sad that she was stuck at the hospital and she cried, saying like ‘i should be at home at this time with my family’. And I understood where she came from, and I actually felt her sadness. And to add to that, when we ordered some Mcdonalds and she ordered a mcflurry, we couldn’t eat it immediately because the emergency room was packed with patients, and the ice cream ended up turning into milk and she never ate it. That kinda added to her sadness, in my head. So what did I do? I actually went to the convenience store and I bought her an Oreo ice cream. And she was SHOOKETH that she tweeted it. Because never in her life had she’d seen me buying something for anyone. Lol. Anyways, that’s just an example to give you guys some image of how ESTPs feel.

And I feel like, if you receive this treatment, if you’re at this stage, it’s like you are legit in our inner circle. In our heart. No doubt. And this doesn’t come often, mind you. Like the chance of it happening is only 15%. Lol.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

Now this, is definitely the last. This is, to me at least, is the hardest thing to do ever. I don’t know if it’s because of our FE tertiary function? Or is it just the way I was raised in? I don’t know.....

But I do know that ESTPs feel uncomfortable in emotional situations. We avoid it. It’s not that we’re heartless, we just feel awkward. Like we don’t know what to say. Don’t know how to convey things in words. This is actually one of the reasons why I like writing, because it’s easier than to have to say it out loud.

Like, when one of my family member passed, I never spoke a word about it, not even to my mom. But I actually wrote a blog about it, like a really long one.

Some even say that ESTPs hate emotional confrontation. And it’s mainly because of our FE tertiary function. We feel awkward having to deal with situations using this function. We can go through it, but we just prefer not to, you know? But a debate? It’s a whole different story. I’ll talk about this particular trait in the next post. It kinda explains why ESTPs have a strong personality.

Anyways, back to the love language. So, yeah, it’s hard for us to say like ‘I love you’, or like ‘you’re so amazing’, or ‘I really admire your blabla’. I feel like it’s too... I don’t know... cringy? And it’s like, again, we have to put so much effort in order to be brave enough to say those words to the people that we cherish. And when we DO say it, it means that you’re important enough for us to put effort in being brave and say it.

But, don’t get too excited already. We usually don’t really say it directly in your face. lol. For me, I’ve actually conveyed my feelings to a dear friend, like how I was so proud of her etc., through a twitter and instagram post. hehe. I don’t know, I just can’t find the need to say it in her face, like it’s too cheesy. But a post is I feel like even more special becasue other people get to see it? I don’t know.

I’m rating this the last becasue the probability of it happening is like probably only 5%? So if an ESTP is making a post or saying words of affirmation to you, you are THAT special to them.

FINAL RANK

Now, as a final, here’s my personal rank

QUALITY TIME 30%

PHYSICAL TOUCH 25%

ACTS OF SERVICE 25%

GIFTS 15%

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION 5%

SO, THAT’S OUR LOVE LANGUAGE. Mind you, I’m not an expert on this, so this is like my unreliable analysis, and very very based on my personal experience. Lol. I still have a few things to say though, so, probs 1 or 2 more post?

Do you guys want me to do other member’s personality analysis? I know Haechan’s an ENFP, and I have a couple of ENFP friends. Hmmm, I’m currently trying to guess Johnny’s MBTI, becasue I see some similarity between him and my ENTJ friend. And the way that he vibe with Jaehyun is similar with me and my friend. I’m not sure though. I’m also interested in Doyoung’s. And Yuta’s actully. I read that Doyoung actually mentioned his MBTI on Vlive? But I forgot what it was. And I’ve been trying to find it becasue I kinda want to do an anlysis on him, but couldn’t.

What do you guys think? Do you want me to do an anlysis on other member? Lemme know!! Cheers!

To be continued...

#jaehyun #jung jaehyun #jeong jaehyun #jaehyun mbti #jaehyun scenarios #nct #nct127 #nct 127 #nct mbti #mbti #nct thoughts #jaehyun nct #jaehyun things #neowritingsnet #my uncommon thoughts on NCT

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furrycowboypeach · 4 years ago

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car insurance : 10 questions with answers

Dear reader, we are honored to visit

our site

and hope to find everything you need in this article.

1.How does classic car insurance differ from conventional car insurance ?Classic car insurance will give you what the car is actually worth and or what you feel the car is worth. Conventional insurance will not. Let’s say you have a beautiful 1965 split window corvette. Maybe it’s worth a $100,000. Collection insurance will want photos of the car and maybe an inspection of the vehicle. Once they agree on the value your good to go. However there are rules, like limited miles you can drive, garage kept, they can be very picky. Regular insurance last I heard will give you blue book value. Do the research. There are some very good collection companies around.

Insurance companies and having fun with this.

The UK MOT test now has public information data about current and historical mileage.

Thus now we can see/prove/audit that there are many tens of thousands of old cherished cars - that literally do not move for years on end. (Less than 500 miles every 5 years).

Big data analysis will show clearly to insurance companies which classic cars are massively profitable to insure.

A mainstream loved semi-classic car has a market value of £4,000 or less. (eg. 18 year old Mercedes convertible) driven by a busy,, employed, 50 year old with 2+ cars

On fully comprehensive insurance - the risk held by the insurance company is £3.5K for total write off of the car and any 3rd party claims (on a vehicle that hardly moves). The risk to the policy owner is loss of 4 years no claims bonus and a 10+ year claim free profile.

Big data will show to the insurance companies that these are very profitable policies

2.Does the wrong address invalidate car insurance ?

That depends on why it is wrong. If you move, while you should notify your insurance company, but don’t you are more likely to get cancelled because you didn’t pay your mailed bill (assuming that is the option that you selected).

But if say that you live in Miami, Florida (the most expensive place in the state to get auto insurance, and you claim that you live just outside of DeFuniak Springs, Florida and then have an accident in Miami, Florida, the insurance company could say FRAUD and VOID your policy as if it never existed. Because you had an uninsured accident, you would probably lose your driver’s license until you made the other driver whole again! Short of that, it usually wouldn’t be considered Material, and they would back bill you for premium OR give you a refund.

3.Is rental car insurance a rip-off ?

yes and no.

if you are using your insurance and crash the rental car, you can be liable for the complete cost of repairs AND lost revenue while it is being repaired. this can be full price of the rental all the time it is being repaired. this can be a ton of cash. also if you chip the windshield the rental co can charge you for a complete new windshield or repair the that one. your insurance may or may not cover any or all of this. needless to say you will have to deal with it one way or another.

if you buy the EXPENSIVE rental car insurance you are covered for all damages including all the “little scratches”

i was 21 and rented a car to go to a job interview 2 day rental. well i put almost 1600 miles on the car. when i returned the rental agent was mad i had put that many miles on an unlimited rental. so she went out and nitpicked everything …. i just watched as she pointed bugs out as dents and everything else. when we went in she disappeared a returned with a 2400.00 repair dollar bill. and demanded how i was going to pay. i just said i paid the 15.00 for the full insurance and that would cover it , she grabbed the rental agreement and read it, her face turned red. and i left….

4.Is it okay to not have car insurance for a few months ?

Probably expecting a bit of heat for this one but here goes.. lol.

I live in Spain and about 14 years ago or so I was forced under pressure to get rid of the Suzuki jeep… which looked a fair bit like this I suppose. No power steering and the uncanny ability to just spin right around on itself in slightly greasy roads….

which had the widest back tyres I think I have ever seen on a car.., anyway, it had to go, saw an ad for a Mitsubishi Shogun , a lot like this

UK plates and only came with an export certificate from UK. Seems the guy who brought it over was intending to change it over to Spanish plates but never got round to it. Swapped the Suzuki plus 3 grand and off we went. First time I had driven an automatic, was a joy and no mistake…proper built like a tank too.. awesome car.

Drove that car for almost 8 years on that export certificate, no MOT and insurance papers I made my self on the computer by copying a mates documents and changing the pertinent details. Spanish cops had at that time.. and possibly still now, no way of actually checking the veracity of insurance papers, if they looked legit, they were accepted.

I understand that in the last few years DVLA having softened a little and offer a yes or no answer to Spanish enquiries as to whether a UK registered car has a valid MOT or not… no other info is given. I assume thats data protection at work or some such. Its that yes or no that has gotten rid of a load of UK plated cars from Spanish roads, now you actually have to have one, so either you know someone who has an MOT garage and can produce one for you or you drive back to get it done, which isnt usually viable.

So ye, its ok to not have insurance for a few months or even a few years, as long as you can get away with it.

5.Can realtors write off car insurance ?

It depends on the method they choose to use to write off their car expenses. If their car is used less than 50% for business, they must use the mileage method which includes all operating expenses including insurance. If they use it more than 50% they may choose to use the actual expense method or the mileage method. If they use the actual expense method they can deduct the business % of gas, repairs, interest, insurance, depreciation, etc. Either method requires them to keep a mileage log.

6.Does my car insurance cover my friend when they borrow my car for a day?

In the UK read your certifcate of motor insurance.

If it says

“Any person driving on the policyholder’s behalf or with their permission” or WTTE then they will be covered. (There may be age limits in the schedule of insurance but these cannot appear on the certificate). (Also cover will be for pleasure use only unless the wording on the certificate specifically includes business use by your friend).

If it does not say that then, unless your friend is named on the certificate of insurance, they are not covered under your policy.

This does not necessarily mean that they are uninsured when they drive your car, since they may have an insurance policy covereing their own car with the “driving other cars” extension. “The policyholder may drive, with the owner’s permission a car not belonging to the policyholder nor hired to him under a hire-purchase agreement”. If this clause is in effect it only covers their Road Traffic Act Liability and does not cover loss or damage to the car whilst in their control. Note that it is your duty to check this. If your friend doesn’t have such cover then you are ‘aiding and abetting’ a motor offence of driving without insurance - offence code IN12 - which will substantially increase your car insurance premium - despite the FCA announcements today.

7.Can a 19-year-old afford car insurance ?

Driving a car is a privilige, not a right.

Unless you are in gainful employment and living at home, I suspect you will have to rely on the bank of mum and dad. But if you think getting insurance at 19 is hard - imagine trying to get it at 17 and 18.

Many teenagers go with a company that assesses the premium based on information sent to them by a ‘black box’ added to the car. People who drive sensibly and only durting the day pay a lot less than those who drive recklessley and at night - even if the latter have no accidents.

The first year is by far the worst. If you go claim free for a year then no only will you be 20 rather than 19 - but you will have one years no claims discount - which will knock about a third off your premium.

(Oh and don’t try and pretend the car you drive is owned and registered with your parents and that your mother is the main user. Insurance companies are not stupid. People who own a vehicle one or two years old don’t normally decide to buy a second vehcile that is 10 years old for their own use.)

8.What are the worst car insurance companies in America ?

As others have alluded to, the whole insurance cabal and racket is on par with a level or two less integrity than the drug cartels run in Mexico and South America.

Still, some insurance companies make an effort to comply with law and regulation, while others just have a standard operating procedure to act like bad-faith criminals.

One company stands out as the worst of the worst:

Bristol West

If you bought insurance from these scoundrel's, do yourself a favor, and immediately change. But don’t change early, or you’ll pay outrageous cancellation.

If you get hit by someone with this insurance, put in your claim with your own insurance, or you’ll just be wasting your own time.

9.How much do I need to pay for car insurance ?

Without knowing where in the world that you live, nor your age, sex marital status, other drivers in your household, driving records, and car or cars you trying to insure.

You can't save time or money by asking an ambiguous non informational question here. You will have to do it the old fashioned way, calling around to agents or companies. You can also go online to the companies and agents but NOT TO THOSE SITES THAT PROMISE TO TELL YOU THAT THEY'LL TELL YOU EVERY COMPANY'S RATES. That is a LIE plus you are putting yourself at risk for identity theft, and here are the reasons:

None of these sites has ALL of the companies. They only show those companies paying them to be there.

Even if they show an Allstate, a Progressive and/or Geico, these companies all have multiple rating levels for different types of drivers from preferred for the very best risks down to theworst risks out there. Those kinds companies might only have one or two of their rating levels on each of these sites, so if you don't qualify for those that rating tiers you won't be given a rate from those companies. Likewise if the company that truly is cheapest for you didn't pay for that website to show their rates, you won't see them.

They will sell your personal information to multiple agents and/or companies. This means that you will be bombarded by people trying to sell you auto insurance.

And since they don't check that the person indeed buying the leads are insurance agents all of your personal information could end up in the hands of identity thieves.

NOTE: IDENTITY THEFT DOES NOT HAPPEN FROM INSURANCE COMPANY OR AGENT'S WEBSITES!

10.What do

sports

car

lovers need to know about car insurance ?

Find out how buying a sports car impacts on your car insurance, from cost to cover. There’s nothing specific you need to look for in an insurance policy on a sports car, per se, but it’s always a good idea to read the policy wording in advance if you have anything specific you want covered.

Some of us love football. Some of us love cricket. And some of us love motorsport. The sports we like are part of our identity, and if you’re a motorsport fan you might want to express that through your choice of car.

We’ve put together this short guide to help you better understand the implications of owning a sports car from an insurance point of view.

Find out how buying a sports car impacts on your car insurance, from cost to cover.

What to look for in an insurance policy on a sports car

There’s nothing specific you need to look for in an insurance policy on a sports car, per se, but it’s always a good idea to read the policy wording in advance if you have anything specific you want covered.

For instance, you might want to be sure you’re covered against vandalism or other such malicious damage to the tyres, paintwork or (on a cabriolet) the fabric roof.

Even if you’ve found a policy that covers every scenario you can imagine, you must fully disclose all details of the car to avoid having an insurance claim refused. This includes any optional extras or other modifications that have been made by you or a previous owner.

What qualifies as a sports car ?

For the purposes of insurance underwriting, Admiral defines sports cars as cars designed as performance vehicles ‘from the get-go’: things like coupes, roadsters and GTs.

Having said that, your car may be considered a sports car even if it doesn’t fall into one of these categories.

Car manufacturers recognised years ago the demand for high-performance cars which were practical and spacious enough for the real world – cars for people with children and hobbies, essentially.

Traditional sports cars are designed to be lightweight, compact and aerodynamic, but this usually means a cramped interior and little or no luggage space.

So, over the years, and with changing attitudes towards what ‘sporty’ means, we’ve seen the arrival of the hot hatchback (as defined by the iconic VW Golf GTI), the sports saloon (think BMW M5) and, more recently, the performance SUV (such as the Porsche Cayenne).

Why is insurance on sports cars more expensive ?

Every new car is placed into an insurance group based on the risk associated with it, and risk is calculated using statistics about past claims on similar cars. Risk takes into account both how likely you are to make a claim, and how much it could cost to put right if you do.

When it comes to sports cars, the first (and perhaps most obvious) thing insurers look at is their performance. Many sports cars are fitted with engines that provide rapid acceleration and high top speeds.

And they’re engineered to mimic the driving characteristics of racing cars, with responsive handling and potent brakes – all designed to help you carry as much speed into, through, and out of corners as possible. All of which increases your likelihood of being involved in an accident.

They are also, often, more expensive to repair or replace, because of their high sale prices or because parts are more specialised. And they may present a more irresistible temptation to thieves, making a theft claim more likely.

What are the cheapest sports cars to insure ?

We've compiled a list of the 10 sports cars with the cheapest average premium between January and March 2021.

Of course, the car itself is only one of the factors used in calculating premiums, so the characteristics of the average owner of these cars (including age, driving history and No Claims Bonus) could explain why the premiums are so affordable.

The models listed combine cars of all ages and values, including both hard-top and roadster equivalents sharing the same name.

Porsche Boxster - £404.04

BMW Z4 - £437.52

Polestar 2 - £446.07

Mazda MX-5 - £451.80

Porsche Cayman - £488.42

Porsche 911 - £509.19

Porsche Macan - £518.03

Nissan GT-R - £582.02

Toyota MR2 - £586.39

Ford Mustang - £586.77

After you've finished reading, we hope you've benefited. And we invite you to comment in your opinion. And we're happy with that, and we love reading it.

#home #car #book blog #insurance

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dottie-wan-kenobi · 5 years ago

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I loveeee all the songs u chose for Tim!!! Can u maybe do a post or smth explaining why cus it’s so interesting seeing the choice behind these songs

Hi yes I can!! I’m not gonna do all of them here (I can def do the rest if you’d like!!) bc that’s just a Lot all at once lol. Also I might have typos and I apologize but dkjsfhakh I have bandaids on my fingers and it’s hard to type :^/

Disclaimer: some of these songs fit a lot better than other ones

Hard Times by Paramore

I chose this song bc it’s abbout being sad, but the tone is upbeat and happy. Something I’ve noticed abt Tim is that he is (usually) functionally depressed. Like, I read an article about high functioning depression, and it said that a lot of people who have it have a hole in their life – that they can have a job (and Tim does, being either CEO or Red Robin or both), a partner (who I like to think of as Kon), and be part of a family, maintaining this happy/upeat facade, but if you ask them what they do for fun…they usually can’t answer that. And I don’t think Tim can. When he was younger, he could, but what now?

Fave Lyric: “Walking around / With my little rain cloud / Hanging over my head/ And it ain’t coming down / Where do I go? / Gimme some sort of sign / You hit me with lightning! / Maybe I’ll come alive”

Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons

I chose this bc I can picture Tim, during a low moment like when Kon or Bruce died, just falling apart and thinking he’s not going to survive it, isn’t strong enough, had something to do with their deaths happening,,, etc. Also there’s a line that references anxiety and like lmao that’s Tim!

Fave Lyric: “Tremble for yourself, my man, / You know that you have seen this all before / Tremble, little lion man, / You’ll never settle any of your scores / Your grace is wasted in your face, / Your boldness stands alone among the wreck / Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck”

Heroes (we could be) by Alesso feat. Tove Lo

I chose this bc Tim needed a happy song and also because this has such Young Justice vibes !!!! This is Tim and his friends having fun, roaming around, kicking bad guy ass together!! Actually upon looking at the lyrics again, it’s both YJ and Batman & Robin. It just encompasses Tim’s early days of being a hero I think, the happy carefree nature and the bravery and the hope

Fave Lyric: “Everyday people do everyday things but I / Can’t be one of them / I know you hear me now, we are a different kind / We can do anything”

Burn The House Down by AJR

Tbh I mostly chose this bc its a bop and I think he would sing along to it. BUT I also think this kind of represents his life as a public figure/celeb??? And if I wanna go even further, I think it could represent him when he’s older and more confident, with a better self esteem and maybe a lil less depressed (which I hope is in the cards for his future). Also it talks about lying a lot???? I’m sorry, I don’t have a good analysis for this one lmao

Fave Lyric: “Way up way up we go / Been up and down that road / Way up way up, oh no / We gon’ burn the whole house down / Watch me stand in the line / You’re only serving lies / You’ve got something to hide / We gon’ burn the whole house down”

Don’t Let Me Down by The Chainsmokers feat. Daya

I chose this bc it reminded me of Tim and Dick. I’m of the opinion that Tim getting fired from Robin was the right choice and that Dick wasn’t being cruel or anything like that at all, but I also think that Tim probably saw it that way which is valid. So it’s like, to him, Dick was his big brother who was basically always there for him, and then suddenly… he’s not. And everything else going on in his life starts to suck dramatically, and not having his big brother makes it worse, and he feels betrayed. Meanwhile Dick really is on his side, life is just also terrible for him too so they can’t be as close as they were when Tim was Robin. It can also be about Bruce or Kon tbh – just, wanting one of them to be there and they’re not.

Fave Lyric: “Crashing, hit a wall / Right now I need a miracle / Hurry up now, I need a miracle / Stranded, reaching out / I call your name but you’re not around”

More under the cut!!

Don’t Play by Halsey

This…. I chose this bc I really love the celebrity versions of the Bats, and also how competent Tim can be, and this song brings both of those together. Lol this could also be like…what other people think the Bats/Tim think like?? “Don’t play with me, I’m rich and will fuck you up” kinda thing. This is one of the ones that fits less well than the others but I still get Tim vibes from it so I’m keeping it

Fave Lyric: “Tryna take back what you say to me / I don’t give a damn what you say to me / There ain’t no time for games with me”

Over My Head (Cable Car) by The Fray

I get the feeling that after bad shit happens to Tim, he feels the way this song shows. I haven’t read much YJ so I can’t be sure, but I get the feeling that Tim, no matter what the truth is, feels like he’s alone and there’s no one who will help him. Obviously that can be tied back to his childhood and how he had to take care of himself, and so when there are people who actually do wanna help him he doesn’t see it?? And he’s down on himself so he’s probably thinking “they don’t want to help me, and I can’t blame them”

Fave Lyric: “But that’s how it’s got to be / It’s coming down to nothing more than apathy / I’d rather run the other way than stay and see / The smoke and who’s still standing when it clears”

Icarus by Bastille

Okay not so much the drinking aspect of this song but EVERYTHING ELSE. I even used one of the lyrics for a fic title. Basically my thoughts here are: 1) everyone looks to the Robins and sees how much they do and it’s just A Lot, 2) Tim knows Jason died and so he probably thinks that’s in his future too even if Dick survived, and 3) Tim is doing a lot and feeling a lot and trying to protect himself and his feelings, which is hard work especially for someone so young

Fave Lyric: “Living beyond your years / Acting out all their fears / You feel it in your chest”

Needed Me by Rihanna

Again,,,, the Competence. I love that shit. I love BAMF!Bats, and tbh I think this could apply to more than just Tim, but I picked it for him bc of the first lyric!! This is also one of those ones that doesn’t fit super well but djkhfjkdshah I think this could really fit an AU Tim where he’s like. More morally gray. Not necessarily a bad guy but just more confident, more arrogant maybe, and more jaded from the hero-ing life

Fave Lyric: “I was good on my own, that’s the way it was, that’s the way it was / You was good on the low for a faded fuck, on some faded love / Shit, what the fuck you complaining for? / Feeling jaded, huh?”

What I’ve Done by Linkin Park

Okay I think this fits a lot of different things: his actions after Kon’s death, his and Damian’s relationship, the lies he’s told (to ppl like Steph, his dad, Tam?), his relationship with Bruce maybe?? I can also see it as him thinking on who he was as a kid – a stalker basically lmao, but ultimately harmless – versus who he is now – a skilled vigilante who’s definitely not harmless. Stark difference there. Also he’s forgiving himself, which is something I think is important for somebody with a low self view

Fave Lyric: “In this farewell / There’s no blood / There’s no alibi / ‘Cause I’ve drawn regret / From the truth / Of a thousand lies”

Tell Me You Love Me by Demi Lovato

I chose this because I think Tim is fucked up by the neglect he suffered in his childhood. I think parts of this song can be directed at his parents, the Batfam, his partner(s). He’s afraid that they’ll leave him and he needs the reassurance. Whether or not he gets it is another matter but kdsjfjkdsah. Really, I think this is all just what he’s thinking, and NOT what he’s saying. He needs the reassurance, yes, but he’s not actually asking for it because he doesn’t know how

Fave Lyric: “Bad at love, no, I’m not good at this”

bellyache by Billie Eilish

When I first added this to his playlist I somehow didn’t realize it was about a murderer but dkjfhkjshjkah whatever I’m keeping it. Let’s just go with this is a song about being fucked up (in whatever sense u wanna take that as) and it’s not happy? But like the first one, it’s upbeat and positive. I think the happy sound hiding the less pretty truth is something that explains Tim a lot. Also its a bop and he might sing along to it

Fave Lyric: “Everything I do / The way I wear my noose / Like a necklace / I wanna make ‘em scared / Like I could be anywhere / Like I’m reckless”

Migraine by Twenty One Pilots

Just Another Song About Tim’s Abysmal Mental Health

Fave Lyric: “Behind my eyelids are islands of violence / My mind ship-wrecked / This is the only land my mind could find / I did not know it was such a violent island / Full of tidal waves, suicidal crazed lions / They’re trying to eat me, blood running down their chin / And I know that I can fight or I can let the lion win / I begin to assemble what weapons I can find / 'Cause sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind”

Fake Love by Drake

I hate Drake but kjdsfkjdsfhajh this goes back to a few things. His celebrity and how he’s seen/treated differently by others because of it, his low self view and the paranoia that people aren’t really there for him no matter what the truth might be, how he sees things others wouldn’t, his relationships with people like Damian and Bruce. I think he’s more forgiving than this song would imply, so maybe this is also for that AU Tim I mentioned above???

Fave Lyric: “I’ve been down so long it look like up to me / They look up to me / I got fake people showin’ fake love to me / Straight up to my face, straight up to my face”

Six Feet Under by Billie Eilish

TIMKON TIMKON TIMKON. Post Kon’s death TimKon and Tim is grieving and trying to forget bc it’s so painful!!!!!!

Fave Lyric: “Our love is six feet under / I can’t help but wonder / If our grave was watered by the rain / Would roses bloom? / Could roses bloom / Again?”

Flaws by Bastille

Idek, I feel like this could be how he could view his relationship with Steph, Cass, Damian, Bart, Dick??? Anyone? Just feeling like he hides his flaws and how he feels, and they don’t really (or at least, he thinks they don’t), and he likes that.

Fave Lyric: “There’s a hole in my soul / I can’t fill it, I can’t fill it / There’s a hole in my soul / Can you fill it? Can you fill it?”

do re mi by blackbear

I’m mostly joking when I say this but this is how he feels about Ra’s al Ghul. It doesn’t fit exactly, bc Tim and Ra’s were NOT together ever at any point, but this song is about being annoyed by someone you have a history with and wishing you’d never known them. Which is how I feel Tim should feel about Ra’s. lol

Fave Lyric: “If I could go back to that day we met / I probably would’ve stayed in bed / You wake up everyday and make me feel like I’m incompetent”

Bored by Billie Eilish

I really think this is Tim talking to his parents. Like, when he’s a kid, or when he’s older and looking back, he’s thinking “I did everything I could, it wasn’t enough, and I know it’s not fair but I can’t do anything about it.” I think this song is supposed to be romantic but I’ve never heard it that way skdjfkjsdhakjh I just always think about Tim, home alone and thinking about his parents.

Fave Lyric: “I’m not afraid anymore / What makes you sure you’re all I need? / Forget about it / When you walk out the door and leave me torn / You’re teaching me to live without it / Bored, I’m so bored, I’m so bored, so bored”

Rose-Colored Boy by Paramore

This one is like… everyone else seems to have an easier time being optimistic and positive than Tim does, in his mind. Idk I don’t have much to say kdsjfhsdjkah

Fave Lyric: “Hearts are breaking, wars are raging on / And I have taken my glasses off / You got me nervous / I’m right at the end of my rope / A half-empty girl / Don’t make me laugh, I’ll choke”

King of the Clouds by Panic! At The Disco

This is mostly because it’s a bop and Tim would like it. But also…this is a song about dimensional travel (apparently) and having ambitions that seem lofty, both of which I think Tim can definitely understand!!

Fave Lyric: “And when I fall to rise with stardust in my eyes / In the backbone of night, I’m combustible / Dust in the fire when I can’t sleep a wink, I’m too tired / This old world, this old world”

#tim drake #song analysis #asks #idk what to tag this as #meta #???#this is 20 of them!! if u want more lmk (there are still like 40 more songs I think)#but im done for the day ksdjfkdash #its so hard to type like this #Anonymous

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chiyuukiaru · 5 years ago

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This post will not, in any way, try to offend anyone in the Haikyuu!! Fandom, who most probably still doesn’t like/doubt the new arc. Actually, I made this post just to answer a few questions from a friend of mine (who doesn’t have a Tumblr account, btw, but likes to open it anyway). They are, in fact, doubtful of the new arc (but still reading it even tho they said they wanna drop it for a while, lol. Babe, you’re such a DO-M, love you). If you found my analysis/rambling quite useful and somehow, able to satisfy your curiosity, thanks :-). It will be long, so I put Read More here.

“Didn’t Hinata go to Brazil, such a waste of time? Look, Kageyama has been playing professionally. That means, he’s gotten super better now. He was good before, he’s a monster now. Why Hinata couldn’t just, idk, join a pro team? I think his time with a pro team would be better for his improvement rather than training beach volley in Rio with some random people”

Probably, coz Hinata didn’t get any or little offers. He is short, period (for a volleyball player). His techniques and skills have gotten so much better since the first time he played. Especially in his 3rd year. Can’t forget that Karasuno placed 3rd in the entire nation then. But he still is, short. Most couches will try to find players who are as good as him, but taller.

Now, pro team aside, I do believe he at least had offers from universities with strong volleyball club. But, I don’t think Hinata was thrilled to continue to a higher education. He hates studying in class after all. Also, his promise to Kageyama is to face him even in the international level, so university route is not a solution (both because of the studying part and because it is risky to spend 4 years in college while he might or might not get pro offers after). This route, however, is the norm in Haikyuu!! universe. I believe most characters who I think want to play professionally will take this route.

As for deciding to go to Brazil and play beach volley, his reason has been explained. By Hinata himself at that. He has to be able to do everything. Spiking, serving, receiving, setting, blocking and all the techniques of those. Beach volley is played by 2 persons only. It is by far, the easiest and fastest way (subjective) for a person to learn anything about volleyball techniques. Also, don’t forget, you play in the sand! I personally know someone who switched from indoor court to beach and then went back to indoor, and you know what? His jumping, stamina, power, and spiking/blocking height have gotten so high! He accidentally let his rival team got a point coz the setter set the ball too low for him, lol. Tho, in all honesty, he did say he had to adjust to the indoor court first before playing well.

I don’t understand why a lot of people still confused by this, even tho it was shown clearly. Maybe because the chapter explaining that was too rushing? So, it didn’t sink well? Hmmm...

Oh and btw, Hinata doesn’t just play beach volley with random people. He was implied to play in tournaments/matches and get paid. Heitor also talked about points. Hinata is that good and famous that Heitor’s girlfriend suggested him to partner up with Hinata. Although, pairing is very casual in Brazil so Hinata definitely changed partner often. Also, when we were shown that Hinata played beach volley at night with random people then met Oikawa, it was not his training part (officially. Hinata still thought it’s a training, I think). He played coz he was depressed previously. And Brazilians play all the time, so he just wanted to release his stress.

“Hoshiumi is also short and he got invited to the Youth Camp. He probably plays pro too, now. Why Hinata can’t be like him?”

In the period when Nationals arc happened, he was taller than Hinata. Not by much, but he is still taller. And he has a far longer experience playing volleyball than Hinata. He started playing in 2nd grade (iirc, Kageyama started playing around the same age). I said above, that couches will search players who are taller but same or even better than him.

Hoshiumi might started volleyball coz he couldn’t join basketball and he wanted to get away from his tall brother’s influence, but the fact remains: he started early. We know what happened to a player who started early: their technique, skill, and game sense are superior. This, is the reason why Hoshiumi was invited to the U19 camp. He has one of the highest overall stats in the series.

Now, Hoshiumi being a pro or not, we don’t know yet. But, personally, I think it’s true. As for why he could be pro and Hinata couldn’t, even tho Hinata obviously was also “little” monster in his 3rd year, I had a hunch that it was because of the U19 camp. Idk in Japan, but if it’s the same like in my country (Asian country), the fact that you were invited to a prestigious camp/training like that, will boost your CV. Add to that, if you apply to the same organization board that managed your camp/training, 95% you will get accepted. I can only think this as the reason why Hoshiumi could be pro far faster than Hinata... Or maybe, Hoshiumi got taller, maybe reached 178 cm-ish. There is an actual player from Japan’s National men team that is 178 cm. He’s a Wing Spiker. His name is Asano Hiroaki.

We don’t know yet whether Hinata was ever invited to the same Youth Camp or not in his 2nd year (the camp is only for 1st and 2nd years), but the selection is tight (I’m still salty that Noya-san wasn’t invited even tho his name is super famous in Miyagi). With chapter 370 which consists of flashbacks, I think we could safely say that Hinata wasn’t invited. We didn’t see him in The Youth Camp building. Instead, he was at Miyagi 1st Year Training Camp building and asking around about opportunity to train beach volley (remember, The Youth Camp and Miyagi 1st Year Training Camp happen around the same time).

“How Hinata can be pro now? Say, he switched back to indoor, how could he play with a Japanese pro team? Or even, National team considering Furudate wants to write Olympic arc? You said, he might not get offers! Then, it’s even harder for him to get offer now after being under the Japan radar for so long!”

Honestly, idk too. I can make headcanons, but I still want to see what Furudate will do with that. It’s what makes Haikyuu!! arc fun, the journey and the revelation. So I’m not about to complain to Furudate, coz it’ll be exciting to see how they will execute the “Hinata Shouyou joins pro/National team” arc.

But, if you insist on asking, hmm,,, it’s my headcanon, but, I think it’ll be cool to see Hinata plays a ball boy again (lol, tribute to the best arc for me) for the National team or any pro team. He applied as a ball boy, but in actuality, he wanted to train (or adjust, actually) in indoor court with the best facility. Then, accidentally, there was a ball strayed far and high (kinda like the scene in Shiratorizawa) and he jumped to catch it (super awesome ball boy, lmao) and people saw him and like “WTF! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! CAN YOU PLAY?!”. Then, he played and people like “HOLY SHIT! COUCH, PLEASE CALL THE OFFICIALS, LET’S SIGN A CONTRACT WITH HIM!”.

It’d be even better if Hinata, knowing Kageyama was there, used a mask and a cap just for the sake of being a smartass and fooling Kageyama. But when he jumped to catch the stray ball, the cap fell and showing his bright orange hair and Kageyama realized who he is and shouted: “YOU!? YOU TOOK TOO LONG, BOKE!!! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THESE PAST 3 YEARS?! YOU CAN PLAY, RIGHT?! NOW I HAVE A SET I WANNA PRACTICE, IT’S FAST BUT YOU’RE FAST, YOU CAN REACH IT. C’MON!”. Cue the shocked faces of the others in the room, they were all thinking “Kageyama-kun, he’s not a player...”

Another headcanon is, the high school coaches’ helping hands. Preferably, Washijou sensei. Idk, maybe they could introduce Hinata to someone or someone’s someone in a pro team. Similar to how Aoba Johsai’s coach introduced Oikawa to someone from Tachibana Red Falcons so that he could speak to Coach Flanco.

If not high school coaches, then maybe the players instead? The scenario of someone who was inspired by Hinata when facing him before helping him to get into a pro team is also good.

There you have it folks, my answers. I’m done. Damn, that’s long. I understand ya’ll don’t wanna read it, lol. But I should write it, hehe. My friend wanted my answer and analysis, so yeah. There it is.

To my friend: Babe, you better read all and stop whining. Asking is one thing, being noisy is another thing. Love you.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu spoilers #haikyuu predictions #haikyuu analysis #or actually my rambling #sorry guys

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sebthesnipe · 5 years ago

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The Dreamer by Whatwashernameagin an Analysis? (Part 1 cuz it was a lot longer than expected)

All portions:

Chapter 1: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Chapter 2: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Okay so first off… I get asked a lot what I can do with a forty-thousand-dollar degree in Literature when the job economy is so crap… Answer: Lay awake at 2AM analyzing your favorite fanfic authors. So, here we are. Before I begin however, I wanted to make a few things clear: First, if you have not read any of @whatwashernameagain’s work I highly recommend you do so. She is very talented. You can find her on archiveofourown here; and The Dreamer Chapter 1 here. Secondly, I realize that most authors don’t look into their work as deeply as the reader does when writing an analysis and that a red door may simply be a red door… but where is the fun in that? And Lastly, there will be spoilers… So… Beware! (Also it is a Sanders Sides fanfic so check out Sanders Sides by Thomas Sanders on youtube as well if you haven’t already)

WARNING: Spoilers under cut!!

I’m not sure how many of you are familiar with the literary theory of Reader Response (its pretty much exactly what it sounds like) but I’ll probably be addressing it throughout this post. In fact here and here great introductions to the literary theory; which can be defined in its most broad sense, as a criticism that “considers readers’ reaction to literature as vital to interpreting the meaning of the text” (Purdue Writing Lab). Not very clear is it? Basically, Reader Response is the concept that readers have just as much say in what the work means as the author does. In other words, “readers do not passively consume the meaning present to them by an objective literary text; rather they actively make the meaning they find in literature” (Purdue Writing Lab). Without the author there is no reader and without the reader there is no author.

That’s probably a lot of mumbo jumbo to take in but I’ve studied so many literary approaches that it is merely a glimpse into the stuff rattling around in my brain when I read any type of work. I don’t tell you any of this to flex or show how smart I am… …. Well… not really anyways lol. I am explaining this now because it will be important later in the post. Now! Onto the really fun stuff!

CHAPTER 1 (Again spoilers!)

Okay, going into the work I knew the premise: Superhero vs. Villain eventually becoming friends and even lovers. I’m totes down! However, Eva (the author (Whatwashernameagain) never ceases to pull in the reader from the first line!

“He’d chosen to call himself the Utilitarianist, the etymology of which was clearly derived from the Latin word ‘utilis’, meaning ‘useful’” (Whatwashernameagain).

First off! The italics are beautiful! They pull attention to the fact that whoever it is that is naming himself (*cough* Logan *cough*) has already shunned the outer world. He doesn’t care what others have to say. He is deciding this for himself. The sheer amount of strength in a single word because she used italics is stunning and I’m certain she doesn’t even realize what she has done.

Moving on to the actual name is another thing entirely. I know that ‘Utilitarianism’ is defined as “the ethical doctrine that virtue is based on utility, and that conduct should be directed toward promoting the greatest happiness of the greatest number of persons” (“Utilitarianism”). So first, this screams Logan, secondly there is a lot to be said for the name choice. While, the hero/villain’s goal is obvious by the name (doing acts that are for the ‘greater good’) there is a lot to be said for personality here. Obviously, it can be taken that whoever chose this name is insecure in a way; only taking value of themselves by how useful they are. The man no doubts feels as if he is only as valuable as the contributions he makes, which is certainly relatable. So, within the first sentence we learn quite a lot about a single individual and are already drawn in… then again, that’s Eva for you.

Within the next paragraph we learn that the he is in fact a ‘villain’ though I like to think of him more as a… misguided vigilante… but Logan is my bea… so… yeah. Once again, we see italics: “They called him a villain” (Whatwashernameagain). It pulls the reader’s attention to the separation the Utilitarianist is making between himself and the outside world. The feeling of loneliness just from the two italicized words is almost suffocating, at least to me (hence Reader-Response theory). Eva always has such a way with capturing emotions so subtly its breath taking. It certainly is one of her biggest strengths. I mean, here we are not even two sentences in and I’m already moved by the isolation of the villain.

Moving on down the line, we see that the Utilitarianist feels he is doing good for the world… sees himself as a hero rather than the villain the world sees him as. Eva also begins to apply descriptors to the not-villain. “Cold and infallible logic” is used to describe his work. Knowing Sanders Sides as I do its obvious that at this point, I have an assumption as to which character the Utilitarian is (and I’ve already read the work once or twice) but this practically cements it. The reason I bring these four little words to your attention however is the simplicity of them and the giant impact they have. Just as the italics spoke volumes so does this small excerpt. The loneliness I mentioned before only grows with these words, becoming an image of shivering, icy fingers reaching out for someone who isn’t there, the only thing keeping him warm is his own logical calculations…. Its… so heartbreaking… Damn it Eva!!! T.T

Within the next paragraph however we’re moving on to a more light-hearted tone as the Utilitarianist calls the world small minded and unable to understand his ‘superior logic’ (Whatwashername). That, in and of itself, gives way to more personality, breathing more life into the previously abstract character and making him more human… though far less humble lol.

I feel as if I really need to move a bit more quickly through this work to keep this post from getting to long but… Eva’s work with emotional subtext is so stunning I can’t help myself. We’ve moved from the first sentence drawing attention to the separation of the Utilitarianist from the public’s view of him, to the lonely cool logic behind his actions and now within the next few sentences were pulled into a whirlwind of frustration and all of it is so seamless. It may seem like something small and inconsequential but there are published best-selling authors that struggle with it regularly and she manages it so flawlessly (and if I had to guess, without even really thinking about it.

The frustration I mention above is visible through the way the Utilitarianist uses descriptors pulling attention to names like ‘whistleblower’, ‘eco-terrorist’, ‘extremist’, and the way he points out more than one, obviously frustrated. He also insults the world once again pointing out their ‘small minds’ and ‘hypocrisy’; the media calling him ‘cruel’. Again, it’s the subtle things that really make a work shine and as usual Eva’s work is almost blinding.

“His enemies were clear to him, chosen not by his own selfish passions or greed, but by pure, beautiful logic” (Whatwashernameagain).

This line…. Oh, this line…. -sighs dreamily at the words-

So, Reader-Response theory can be interpreted in a number of ways but basically what you need to know is that everyone reads things in different ways due to their own life-experiences, interests, backgrounds, opinions, etc. So, this tiny line that most wouldn’t think twice of is one of my absolute favorites. Why? Well… Lets just say that I have four copies of every Sherlock Homes book (Sir Arthur Connan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes) (Leather bound, hard cover, soft cover, and children’s versions). Which means I’m a bit of fan. Why is that important here? Well, Logan’s (the Utilitarian’s) thought here, pulls me straight back to Doyle’s work. It is so Holmes-esc that it makes me all warm inside and brings a smile to my face. Not to mention it is another shift in the emotional tone of the work, pulling the reader from frustration to an almost affection as Logan addresses his work. This provides the character with even more complexity making him more tangible than ever. There is already so much depth to this character in the first half of this chapter than it astounds me… I am never disappointed in the woman’s writing.

As I read about some of Logan’s target, I have to pause because of just how real some of these issues are. “Fast food chains that ate away the natural resources with their disgusting wastefulness, earning money on the back of animals starved of space and clean air. Government funded projects poisoning the water of people dependent on it. Radioactive plants secured so badly the surrounding hospitals were filled to the brim with cancer patients. Presidents who criminalized people for their skin, their sex, their religion or orientation” (Whatwashernameagain). It makes we want to bring attention to New Culturism and New Historicism but that’s a whole different can of worms. For now, I’ll just say that in today political and environmental climate these are some real issues and she knows that. She knows her audience, for sure! I feel as if this could be a real power play, not in any bad way but in the sense that she can pull at the concerns of so many readers at once with Logan addressing these issues, submerging them in support of his unconventional solutions. How else do you make a reader fall in love with a villain but with sympathy and support? Brilliant… just bloody brilliant.

“Public acts of violence threatened to cause a brutalization of the human mind and thus cause more violence due to normalizing it by prolonged exposure” (Whatwashernameagain).

I won’t spend too much time on this but… Holmes-esc… just saying… I love it so much!

“Despite any attempts to paint him as a ruthless monster, the people were his ultimate ally… Ultimately, he believed the world would come to understand his superior philosophy” (Whatwashernameagain).

Okay, lets pause for a moment. We get some conflicting information here (not in a bad way). Up until now Logan has isolated himself from the world but now, we find out that the people work with him. This is conflicting not because it goes against what has been said but simply what the reader has assumed (reader-response theory). When we really consider it, of course there would be support for his tactics. Trump has supporters… I don’t see why but he does… It’s only logical that someone who is actually making change for the better (even if his methods are extreme) would have them too…. Wait… Did I just compare Logan to Trump?! I’m going to go cry in a corner now… T.T No, but seriously Eva is making her readers think and ask questions that they have to fill in the blanks for, themselves. Its fantastic! The truth of the matter is, the best works have the readers read between the lines, fill in the blanks, help mold the story to their own liking, and she does this so Wonderfully I am jealous and awed by it all. As for bringing the world around to his philosophy we as a reader know that’s probably not going to happen but that might not be the point of the sentence. Perhaps, its to bring a small sense of eccentric tendencies in a far less subtle manner to Logan or just determination. I feel that it does both whether intended or not and does it beautifully. It makes it obvious that Logan is still lonely and determined to bring others in on his work while deluding himself that they will. I think most of us have been lonely enough that we went just a little crazy at one point or another… Which makes Logan more relatable.

Unfortunately, I have to go to work; but I will be back with a Part 2 of this. I have a lot more to say so be warned! And yes, I realize there’s going to be a lot of TLDR’s but it’s a good thing I’m writing this more for myself than anyone XP so… until next time…

Purdue Writing Lab. “Reader-Response Criticism // Purdue Writing Lab.” Purdue Writing Lab, https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/subject_specific_writing/writing_in_literature/literary_theory_and_schools_of_criticism/reader_response_criticism.html.

“Utilitarianism.” Dictionary.com, Dictionary.com, https://www.dictionary.com/browse/utilitarianism.

Whatwashernameagain. “The Dreamer - Chapter 1.” Hello Guys Gals And Non Binary Friends, 8 Sept. 2019, https://whatwashernameagain.tumblr.com/post/187581477262/the-dreamer-chapter-1.

#The dreamer #villain!logan #hero!roman #Sanders Sides #logince #logan sanders #roman sanders #logan/roman #analysis #readerresponse #reaction #whatwashernameagain

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