#for me to post a shitty meme and then dip
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wdym this didn’t happen
#tommy kinard#evan buckley#bucktommy#this is my FAVE head canon post episode#my guy tommy just being so unaware what is going on#and then having to hear it all from buck who barely even registered what happened#anyway it’s that time again#for me to post a shitty meme and then dip
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let's talk about that one scene in oops
(and fizzarolli in general bc me and my autism r obsessed with this scene and haven't seen someone break it down. also ft. blitz lmao)
just a general scene and vague character breakdown/analysis!
i first of all want to admire the perfect representation of best friends to enemies with blitz & fizz because ugh.
And like Blitz tells everyone this but the way it's so malicious here. Just the perfect simple dig and Fizz's little shit eating grin because it delivered how he knew it would sdfkjsdkf. Shoves Blitz to the side because really that's all he cares to say. Fuck you and what you did to me, bye bye <3 Fizz is so for talking shit and dipping (House of Asmodeus) I love how messy it is but also shows how he really doesn't hold malice for Blitz otherwise. Obviously we see this front and center later in the episode once they start reconnecting, but I like the subtlety and how he's so willing to snap at Blitz despite his usual anxiety with confrontation.
Blitz also knowing exactly what to say to really piss Fizz off once things escalate <3
(Fizz literally so smug and content with himself lmfao)
(smirk wiped off bc hey that's the thing i'm sensitive about!!)
But Fizz keeps his composure. And if you'll let me be alarmingly gay for a second, I love how his version of keeping his cool as a messy gay is managing to basically recreate this drag race confrontation in what is probably my favorite set of Fizzie lines.
youtube
eat him up babes. also it's so important that that shitty coffee and fizz were on this side of the street for framing i'll talk about it more in a sec jfskjdfksf.
and now my personal favorite exchange of this entire scene that is criminally underrated imo:
love his face after this line. I SUPPORT DISABLED PEOPLES WRONGS sfjdlkfsdd. literally so fucking nasty with his clown wit but also so justifiable because yeah blitz did just pull this nightmare and dip in fizz's pov. i cannot wait for that to get touched on more likeeee why were they kept apart ugh.
and finally!!
this cut to blitz,, specifically the scarred side of his face is sooo good.
the face of a man who just achieved critical vicious mockery vs. the face of a man that knows he can only win this interaction one way now
Blitz does deserve a little violence maybe <3 Fizz underestimated his ass jjdkfsdlk.
Idk I just love how indicative this whole interaction is for their characters but especially Fizz, it's a perfect build-up for him. Fizz has major imposter syndrome with dual layers because of general haters but especially because of Mammon and Asmodeus. Not on any fault of Ozzie's,, we just see Fizz obviously thinks he isn't fully deserving of their relationship/his situation and the healthy dynamics of it and so do most major news outlets apparently askjfsk.
(full fizzy meme post & also i like how this is a special also like damn do u think they were also apart of the crossword??)
It'll be really interesting to see how his character develops in future episodes because I feel like a lot of what I've rambled about here has come to a resolution after 2 Minutes Notice in the musical special lmao. I really like how here when he goes to compose himself, this is how he does it.
Makes me wonder how many times him and Ozzie have had the self-worth and imposter syndrome conversation before it finally stuck in the Mammon Musical Special. I just love their relationship and how they compliment one another,, and how it projects into Fizz's other relationships because they're healthy for one another. Love my OTP love Blitz & especially love Fizzie. Obviously.
#long post#words words words#character analysis#character essay#helluva boss#fizzarolli#fizzarolli helluva boss#blitzø#helluva boss blitzo#fizzmodeus#fizzarozzie#bless any1 that reads this whole thing love u#helluvaboss#qb#qb writes
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BUCKET LIST, including the strange, the wild, the weird, and the borderline undoable
Go to a nude beach
spread eagle naked towards the sun
use Pinterest business to do brand links and get any amount of $$ from that alone
go to a pole dancing class
try hot yoga
do a burlesque show in Melbourne
post an animation to youtube
start a webtoon
learn to sew
get an apartment by myself
get an apartment with friends
post a shitty homemade music video in a lana del rey way with the help of friends
get a perm
visit coney island
be 125 pounds
get a the dachshund tattoo
post a vlog like im famous
be a extra in a movie
act in a gay indie movie like norman reedus
go to a gorillaz concert
get a snake
get a record player
meet a sugar mommy
go to a jazz bar alone
get a dressed up like a old hollywood star and go have a night on the town
get my license
own a mustang
ride a motorcycle
go to a mosh pit
go to a rave
get black out drunk
go skinny dipping
publish a art book
own a beach house
get a red gingham bikini
take a slutty picture in a american flag bikini and post it to instagram
go diving with whale sharks
be a art director on a project
do a mural on a wall
complete a painting on an obnoxiously large canvas
make a pop song with no knowledge of music or mixing
work on a big animated film
Do a boudoir photoshoot
party in paris
do a full cosplay
pet a pigeon
get a scuba diving license
explore an abandoned building
kiss a stranger
get in a fist fight
flash my boobs at something
attend a figure drawing class
be the nude model at a figure drawing class
receive fanart of my own characters
create a reel showing school doodles
be the cinematographer for a project
take a history class
be a dive instructor
post a animation meme to a jack stauber song
go on vacation all by myself
have sex
be in a youtube video
go on the video side of omegle
visit japan
go to a film festival
jump off a pier
do a pin-up photoshoot
go to an acting interview
heh
open an online store
do artist alley at a convention
cross country roadtrip with friends
stargaze on top of a car
invest in stocks and real estate
go on a cruise to thailand and thrift there
go to the new york library
visit bora bora
learn to play guitar
draw on the sidewalk with chalk
nurture and take care of a plant
grow my own food
get chickens
join a club in uni
take a pottery class
work out in a gym
surf a barrel
buy a surfboard
meditate for 50 days in a row
travel in a van
fly first class
go on a blind date
buy and fill a photo album book
kiss in the rain
do a thirty-day photography challenge and post the whole thing
explore the woods by my house
go to a ball/masquerade party
host a dinner party
say yes to everything for a day
grow my hair past my ass
become mildly fluent in french
attend golbeins animation workshop
buy an obnoxiously large rug
smell the tomford cherry perfume
get a Brazilian wax
get henna done
go to Brisbane museum by myself
get my i.d
go wine tasting
visit Miami
Meet my online best friend
dine at the ritz
go on a gameshow
do tent camping
win a sweepstake
create a artist porfolio/website
be featured in a gallery
go to okinawa
learn to ballroom dance
ride a horse on a beach/ and or backwards
go to a country club
bake a pie
buy a tourist t-shirt
do a escape room
live in Santa Barbara
stay in cape cod
belly dancing class
get my art viral on tiktok
do a commision
buy a fancy wardrobe
have a room with a slanted roof
sleep in a pool in an inflatable pool
snuggle with nurse sharks
bayonetta mui mui glasses.
go out in a pair of high heels
do a show at a convention
stay at the madonna inn
do lesbian handkerchief flagging in public
do a 'nude' photoshoot
own every sims 4 pack
complete a sims4 generations challenge
play subnautica
swim a motel pool at night
pick a girl from a bar
get a drinks bought for me
smoke a ciggrette
try mixology
get a hickey
have a friend or myself sew vintage patterns
wear a tailored suit
buy real cowgirl boots
bathe in a heart shaped tub
take a rose petal bath
stick a polaroid of myself somewhere public
use spray paint
do a vintage glamour competition
own a house with stain glass windows
go to a cathedral
get pink lace curtains
paint a room
milk a cow
replay Detriot become human
do a live stream
do a lesbian event like a cruise or smth
go to a pride parade
participate on a float in a parade
be a scare actor
act in a play
see a broadway show
shoot a gun
drive a convertible
see lana del rey in concert
do modelling work
do a commercial
buy a sewing machine
drive the road without directions
write a screenplay
submit a film for a competition
pitch an animated show
take a opportunity that scares me
do public karaoke
buy a shitty 2000s camera
get a boat license
buy a boat
go to a random diner
sell clothes on depop
play a drinking game with mates
stay in a hotel with mates
do a draw my life
do a drawing for each section of my Pinterest board
get my fortune told/ future read
buy some mega flare jeans
post a picture of myself to Pinterest/ start a 'me' board
buy some colorful tights
get blue streaks through my blonde hair like aquamarine
drop in on a skateboard
buy a castle
party at Hearst castle
post another fanfic to ao3
dress up in a slutty Halloween costume,its a rite of passage
bake and decorate a fancy cake for someone
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Holy fuck just passed out at 8pm for 3 hours and had a weird Otherverse dream. guess i was exhausted after my gig?
it’s worth noting my condition: I fell asleep on my couch, fully clothed in a super slutty outfit, with boots AND long underwear on. i was sitting up, and fighting off the sleep was impossible. maybe because i woke up early sunday and didnt catch up on enough sleep?
i had a lot of dreams but the end is what i remember: i was with my band and we were heading up this hill. he was telling us about the rules of this competition, where you build a tiny shitty shack and then invite the fae in try and fuck with you and you have to try and stay in the house; if you survive 3 days, you won a big prize.
we were off to attempt this competition and met the coordinators who shower us other house attempts and then we started to build our own, it was super frat-bro energy and i didn’t like the organizers.
at one point i made a joke that i was probably going to kill myself doing this. now i say this phrase a lot irl. because (1) duh and (2) its fucking funny and (3) rings true, or else it wouldn’t be a meme phrase.
but in the dream, everyone recoiled and reacted in shock. “what the fuck, why would you say that,” etc. it was so bad i pulled my trump card, which i literally almost never play irl. “omg im so sorry idk why i did i have adhd sometimes things just slip out.”
i also thought it was because i wasnt drunk, which was like. again a key part of this frat bro competition. so i had to BUY a drink from one of the organizers of the competition. then chug it really fast because i was sad. i ended up spilling a lot. i finally realized that i should probably leave. so i told my band leader that this was his thing, and that i was gonna dip.
as i did, a fairy appeared to me on my walk home! i say fairy- she was much more prototypical tinkerbell then true fae. she kinda looked gross and sticky and snotty, though, and boogers would appear where she stuck her feet.
so booger and i walk downtown and she’s telling me that they suck i’m right never did anything wrong and etc…. we climb up a stream that was flowing down the super inclined sidewalk for some reason. she tells me that as per the rules of the challenge the walls don’t even have to be touching.
so then i suggest that i could own the organization epic style by going around downtown to walls with special directional or spiritual significance/energy and then challenge the fae over a space as big as the whole downtown, and that would make it harder to fuck with me specifically, and i could win the challenge. as she screamed repeatedly in delight and joy, my conscious mind realized she was probably an abyssal being, and that this sounded like a really bad idea actually, and that i should wake up.
and then i ran here to post this! thoughts?
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Welcome me home. Two years away, more or less. I stormed out of this town for the big city and never looked back. Or possibly I stormed out of this dystopian city for the peace of the countryside. It's hard to call that one. But here I am again, dipping my toes into these waters, feeling like I've never been away.
Same old tumblr, same old town. Mutuals have moved on and disappeared. Unfamiliar profile pictures with unfamiliar names are making familiar posts that hint that they might once have been someone I knew. Scrolling through my dash like I'm walking down the street in my hometown. Still people in the pub shouting the same old discourse. Still posters everywhere urging me to vote in elections that have nothing to do with me. Still cars driving aggressively and too fast down the high street.
Traces of sadness. That meadow is now a housing estate. That shitty old playground where we used to smoke has been replaced by something new, shiny, and functional where actual children play. The old graffiti has been washed away and something new is in its place. The memes are unfamiliar. Change, even here.
But Neil has banged out the tunes as he always does and it's good to be home.
#i'm allowed to be dramatically sentimental about this#it's been a weird few years#not a hellsite but a hellhome
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The Dark Side of Maladaptive Daydreaming
TW: I don’t talk about specific violent topics(just mainly say “i have violent daydreams”), but if you don’t want to read anything about the dark side of daydreams just go ahead and skip this one.
I’m feely kinda shitty and anxious, and to actually be a little more proactive this time I pushed myself to write this overdue post instead of daydreaming. I mean either way I’ll end up daydreaming before I go to bed...moving on.
A couple of weeks ago The Daydreamers was released. And it was a good dip-a-toe-in-the-water introduction about maladaptive daydreaming. Afterwards I read a few tumblr posts about it, and I remember there was one post where anon expressed their frustration with the doc presenting MaDDing as this escape to a happy wonderland. This is a criticism I’ve heard before, and one I’ve had myself.
When I first got involved in the MaDD community online I was frustrated to see -what appeared to me - MaDDers not taking it seriously. They were sharing art of their paras, paracosms, writing about their wonder fantasies, and posting memes. To me this came across as almost “lacking a depth”, I knew that humor is a coping mechanism, but I was upset that there seemed to be so so few posts with in depth dives into the negatives of MaDD. To me it looked like everyone else was peachy with it, while I withering with it’s burden. That’s why I started this blog, to create the content I wanted to see(no shame to those who rather post light hearted stuff).
To start off, I always dislike that the word “daydreaming” is included in the name of this condition, because “daydreaming” has a very “cute” and “innocuous” connation in our language. And to be frank, cute and innocuous are probably the last words I’d use to describe my daydreams.
My daydreams can contain incredibly dark, morbid, and violent things. There is a common theme of isolation, loneliness, being misunderstood, and martyr complexes. My parame suffering, all the while being criticized and hated by those around them. That’s a very common theme, being hated because I’m misunderstood and I am going through some struggle unbeknownst to those around me. I would best title it as “Look at how everyone misjudges and hates me, but I am really a good person whose made sacrifices for others but has been wronged many times but I refuse to open up about it because I am afraid and because I don’t think I deserve to seek help and I am socially anxious”.
And while there is this common underlying theme, it tends to manifest in disturbing and/or violent ways.
*by manifest I mean what the content of the paracosm is.
And if I were to be honest, alot and I mean alot of my paracosms are straight up depressing, and their frequency tends to increase in quantity and disturbance level the more unhappy I am in real life.
But why do I/we do it? My best answer is that it’s a way to live out and externalize negative emotions I/we struggle to express and explore in our actual lives. The daydreaming gives a filter, a “safe place” to externalize, feel, and express these bad feelings. I wonder too if it acts as a disconnecting mechanism, you can experience your emotions through the paras you created, that way you don’t have to feel them as your own emotions that have occurred due to your life circumstances. Can I say it’s bit like a disassociating mechanism? Personally for me I’ve always tended to feel invalidated in my negative feelings. I felt (and still do) that I did not/have not earned sadness. That its stupid for me to be upset so much by something when there are so many other people with so much worse, so I create a fictional world where my parame experiences traumatic events that then make me feel justified to express my negative emotions through my parame. Because obviously those negative emotions make sense in the context of my parame’s life, but my actual life? Absolutely not.
TBH, I was gonna write a few examples of these dark paracosms but I backed out because honestly I’m still too nervous and scared to share the details. Sure I’m anonymous on this platform, but I know once somethings out on the internet it stays there forever. And I am afraid of the wrong people finding my post detailing my horrific daydreams and then somehow finding out who I am and they think i’m fucked up and so on....So this is all for now. These thoughts are from my personal experiences and I don’t speak for every MaDDer.
#maladaptive daydreaming#Maladaptive daydreaming disorder#actually madd#MADD#madd negativity#madd pain#maladaptivedaydreaming#maladapting daydreaming disorder#maladaptive daydreaming blog
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Bo Sinclair x Female Reader
THIS is a NONCON fic. Please don't read and then get shocked at what you read. You are reading this at your own risk! You cannot get shocked at the content here if you are sensitive to NONCON and read anyways. I am not responsible if you choose to still read this and it's upsetting. Also, there is Forced Breeding included! Read at your own risk.
When I get an AO3, I will be posting this there.
Underthecut - NSFW, NON-CON, Cheating -forced- Oral -Female receiving- Forced Breeding/Forced pregnancy, Degradation. Tagged as Dark Fic
Sinclair Brothers College AU Part 2 Part 1 is here!
Bo will never forget that morning. Never forgot your angelic face buried into his brother's chest, Vincent's face buried into the top of your head, nose nuzzled into your hair.
His voice had hurt for the three days after all the screaming he had done, his knuckles bruised for weeks after he and Vincent drew blows.
He could still hear your screaming, this shrill piercing scream for him to stop. To stop hurting him, to stop hurting Vincent.
Not one scream for him, his well-being.
Bo left the room with a bruised lip and ego.
The image of you comforting Vincent, rubbing his knuckles, kissing his cheek burned in his head. He replayed it over and over.
Bo couldn't get over how everyone seemed to approve of the whole ordeal.
That friend of yours had come running up to you, congratulating you on finally getting with Vincent. Even her tall British boyfriend paid a compliment.
His own friends even poked fun, how stupid he was not to see Vincent slowly making his moves. Vincent and you at the Dairy Queen, you at his art show, how both of you spent hours at the library.
How'd he miss all that?
Bo walked into his dorm, slamming the door behind him as he whipped off his hat, he frowned as he flopped onto the bed. back against the wall as he took in the room.
The large varnished bricks painted a light blue, years of new coats of paint chipping off in the corners. The yellow fluorescent light struggling to light up the room, no doubt the same light from when the dorm was built.
Bo took in his brother's side. Neat, save for a few books littered around, a few on his desk, three on the floor, two on the bed, and Y/n's cellphone.
Bo shot up, eagerly rushing over to Vincent's bed, hands immediately on your phone. He held it in his hands, smirking at the pink phone case with a bear's face on the back. He swiped his thumb over the screen, he grits his teeth at the image of you and Vincent on your home screen. Vincent held his arm around you as he kissed your cheek.
"Putz," he mumbled to himself, Bo's thumb lingered over your lock screen. He pressed in the four numbers, "Shit. She must have changed it." Bo looked up, going over what your new passcode could be. The old one was the date you and him started dating. Bo made sure it was that, and that way he had access to your phone whenever you were careless enough to leave it about.
Bo smiled as he knew what the passcode was. If his brother was anything like him, he'd be just as possessive, "Ding!" Bo tapped his foot in excitement as your phone opened up, he went right to your gallery, brows turned down in disgust.
Picture after picture of you and Vincent. Some tame, others, Bo whistled at the picture of you sucking off Vincent. He hated it, seeing your pretty little face lavish his brother's cock, but for Bo, it was easy just to picture his own in its place.
Another photo, you with your legs spread, hand over your mouth, embarrassed as your pussy was covered in Vincent's seed.
Bo groaned, "Little fuckin' whore." He pressed his feet into the ground, steadying himself. He was taken back to when he'd do the same to you, make you beg for his cum to coat your needy pussy. He licked his lips as he could hear your little whines and begs.
"Cum on my pussy, Bo." Fuck and you sounded so perfect.
"Cum on my pussy, Vinny." He cursed as your voice played over in his head. Hating how easily he could hear your sweet voice be so dirty for his brother.
Bo kept scrolling, his stomach churned, cock-stiffening as he scanned more and more pictures.
Videos, ranging from thirty seconds to two minutes in length. He pressed one, the image of you riding his brother played immediately.
"Oh, Vinny, your cocks making me feel so full." Bo groaned, he turned up the volume to hear the vulgar slaps of your ass against his brother's pelvis. "Oh, Fuck Vinny." Bo watched as you fell onto Vincent's chest as he lifted you, fucking up into you at a fast pace.
Bo watched till the end, his ears burning as your moans and whimpers wafted through the shitty phone speaker. He palmed his erection as he watched Vincent cum deep in you, his brother's disgusting grunts and growls had him snarling.
Bo's eyes remained on the screen. They widened as Vincent pulled out, carelessly spreading your legs open to the camera, both your face and Vincent are not visible, but your pussy was bared. He watches as his brother's seed leaked out of you, hearing Vincent mumbling at what a good little princess you are, how you were made to used, made to be a good little cum dump.
Bo shook, knuckles going white as he held the phone. Your whimpering approval of Vincent's words, how Vincent scooped his cum back up into you...
Bo snapped out of his anger as a text popped up,
-Hey, meet you at the library, I'll only be able to study briefly, I have a surprise shift at the hospital.-
Bo tapped it, immediately taken to your messages with Dan.
Everything between you and Dan was mundane. Study dates that often included Herbert and just random memes.
He exited out, looking over all the people you've been texting. Your texts with him deleted, he huffed as he continued. That girl dating the tall British guy. That weird Billy kid, Freddy, your mom, your boss, and Vincent.
He sat down on his bed as he went through the texts. Some of the texts were mundane, how are you, I'm good. I love you and can't wait to see you.
Bo froze, laughing to himself, leaning back onto the bed as he read the recent texts,
-Remember those awful cramps I've been having? My doctor said it was birth control. I'll be going off it for a few weeks and will be getting that Implanon thing.-
Bo checked the date, "Two weeks ago." he said to himself as he kept reading.
-So bad news, I won't get that Implanon thing for another month.-
-That's okay. We can keep it safe for now. One day though you'll be off that stuff ;)-
Bo shook his head, of course, his brother would be on that train of thought. Getting you pregnant. Watching your belly grow with babe.
Bo seethed, hand running down his front, cock pulsing at the image of you, begging for his cum, asking him to impregnate you. Your belly swelling with the Sinclair seed, his large hand rubbing over you, kissing your cheek, amazed at the changes in your body.
Your tits swelling, begging for Bo to ease the ache in them. Cock stiffening as he suckles on your tender tits.
Bo's attention was snapped back to reality as the door's handle justled. He quickly exited out of the texts, turned off the screen, and threw the phone on the bed, burying his face into his pillow, grunting as his cock angled into the bed painfully.
Vincent stepped in, sneering at his brother. "She forgot something, I won't be long." He mumbled, hand going for your phone.
"Y'her lap dog or some? She can't come get it herself?"
"I don't trust you alone with her." Vincent gave your phone a once over before grabbing a few books, "I'll be gone tonight, I work late, so you can invite that 'cute' girl from the bar." Vincent coughed as he finished his sentence.
"Yeah, yeah..." Bo eyed his brother, pulling his pillow closer into his face.
"You didn't touch this, did you?" Vincent waved the phone around, giving it a once over.
"Why would I touch her shit?"
Vincent shrugged his shoulders, "Bye," He opened the door, "Oh, and Lester is inviting us to a barbeque, he expects you to be there."
Bo flinched as his brother slammed the door. He sat up, freeing his cock, the images of you and Vincent still in his mind, the image of himself pushing Vincent away to replace Vincent's seed with his own...
"The library..." he said to himself, the image of you at the library, pushed over onto one of the corner desks, hidden away from everyone, his cock buried deep inside, pleading with him to cum inside.
Bo gripped the base of his cock, squeezing to let more of his precum drip out, watching as it fell along the side.
"That'd look a lot better in the place it belongs."
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You and Vincent stood in front of the campus library, he ran his hands up and down your sides, pinching your ass when he dipped low.
"Vinny!" He playfully pinched his arm, kissing his cheek as you giggled.
"Can't help it, you're so cute." He kissed you again, tongue wrapping around yours, he pushed you closer into himself, your moan being suppressed by the kiss.
You reluctantly pulled away, "I gotta meet Dan. I need his help with my paper. Thanks for getting my phone."
Vincent nodded at you, kissing your cheek again, "I know, I don't want you near him, either."
You nod into his chest, inhaling his scent, linseed oil, and his farmer's market shampoo. You hum as he begins to sway you back and forth.
"I gotta go, see you tomorrow," He pulls away, hand rubbing over your cheek, his eye taking in your sad ones. "Be safe getting home."
"I will!" You shared a kiss goodbye as you excitedly entered the library.
You waved to norman at the front desk, he briefly looked up to give a small smile before returning to his large ornithology book on his desk.
You grinned and waved as you caught sight of Dan. He was in his scrubs with his Starbucks in his hand, smiling at you.
"I can help you for the next hour before I gotta go," He began as you sat in front of him, "Then I got my shift an-"
"Yes at the hospital, I know I know." You sat and opened your books, Dan grabbing one to flip through it, scanning for the important passage,
"Here, you'll want to start here, copy it, and then grab two more sources from the encyclopedias. Has to be from the books, not online."
You rubbed your temples, "Yeah, that's, a lot to take in."
Dan chuckled, "That's the advanced course for you."
You tapped your pencil on the paper of your books, "So, you hear about Brahms and his girl? The fight they had!"
Dan perked up, brown eyes filled with wonder.
The two of you immediately filled your time with gossip, the mention of Brahms's girlfriend and Billy was the only thing being studied.
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Bo strolled up to the library, "Twenty minutes to closing..." He shrugged his shoulders as he entered.
He looks around, the lights dimmed, the desk lamps off, save for the few remaining students.
"Can I help you?" Bo snapped his head to the thin, pale man at the front desk.
"Ah, yeah, where are the books on, like art and stuff," Bo looked at the nameplate, "Norman." Bo fumbled with his hands in his pockets.
"In the back," Norman gestured his head behind him, "In section eight hundred to eight hundred and fifty. Don't be long, we are closing soon." Norman sneered as he shuffled the papers on his desk.
"Yeah, thanks." Bo shook his head, as he caught Norman giving him a once over.
Bo clenched his fists as he heard Norman mumble "I don't even think he can read."
He made his way around the library, ducking behind the rows when he thought he saw you, any girl that resembled you had his heart clench in shock.
"No, Vinny, I can't talk right now, text it to me instead." Bo froze, his feet heavy, your voice was curt, he heard you grunt, knowing you just hung up on his brother.
Bo followed the voice, finding you tucked away in the private study area, the tables up against the walls, the lights were severely dimmed, Bo wondered how in the hell you could see the paper in front of you.
He carefully watched his steps, inching slowly behind you, grateful you were distracted in the book, grateful you secluded yourself so far away from everyone else.
A wolfish grin spread over his face, standing over you, he leaned in, hands snaking over you, rushing to silence your mouth,
"Hey, Sweets, miss me?"
Your blood went cold, eyes bulged, you attempted to turn but Bo held firm.
"Miss me? Huh? Ah, maybe you need to look at me first." He whispered into your ear, placing a feather-light kiss.
You retched away, guttural noises being silenced as Bo put a hand around your neck.
"Ah, no no, c'mon now, that any way to react to me? C'mon sweets, you used to beg me, beg me not to leave you, cry whenever I missed a date, moan for my cock to make you come." He chuckled as you squirmed in his arms, the chuckle turning into a soft laugh as you reached for your phone.
"Grabbing your phone for me? How nice of you, Sweets!" Bo whipped you around, slamming you onto the table as he chucked away the books, thankful they didn't fall onto the floor.
You began kicking at Bo, the panic making your blood run hot, giving you a surge of strength.
You knew Bo, knew how much stronger he was, knew you couldn't fight him off. The look in his eyes as his body leaned forward onto yours, chuckling off your kicks.
"Ah, hey, calm down," Bo squeezed on your neck, kissing your cheek as you sputtered out a whine, choking as you gasped for air.
Bo grabbed your phone, your eyes burning as he easily tapped the four-digit code to open it, he went right to the gallery, opening up the video of you and Vincent, "Look at you," The video played, Bo held the phone to your face, forcing you to look, "Taking my brother's cum in your slutty little pussy. Fuck what a good whore you are."
He exited out of the video, going to your texts, "So bad news, I won't get that Implanon thing for another month." He read aloud as he shook his head, "tsk tsk, and I bet you are still fucking, even when it's not safe. I mean, if my brother's anything like me, he won't wanna wrap that shit up."
Tears pooled in your eyes, slowly falling along the sides into your hair. Your eyes pleading with him, 'don't do this, please.'
Bo huffed as he pulled down your skirt, panties coming along with it. He took in your pussy, licking his bottom lip as he caught a glance at your shaved pussy, thankful that his brother has the same taste as him. "You look so good, that pussy nice and clean for me, gonna look good with my seed spilling out."
"I'll let you breathe properly if you promise to be quiet, can you do that for me?" His baby blues stared into your eyes, you wanted to hurl as you saw a sick softness to them.
"I'll, b-be- go-good." You choked. You gasped in sweet relief as bo removed his large hand from your neck. Your phone in his hand was held to your face as you realized he was filming.
"You better open up these legs for me, little whore like you should be used to spreading her legs, hm? Taking my brother's cock while dating me. Well, you can have my cock again, and I'm gonna make sure you'll never fucking forget this. Like I'll never fuckin' forget waking up to you." Bo placed the phone down, propping it up against your books, "With cum dripping out your pussy in Vincent's arms."
You looked away as you heard Bo's belt clink his zipper coming undone, "I can easily scream,"
"Scream? ha, the place is practically empty at this point, who's gonna come as you scream? 'Norman' I can tell he's already too self-absorbed to care for another." Bo leaned down, his breath hot over your cunt.
"Please don't, Bo please, I'll do anything!"
His signature cocky grin spread over his lips, "Oh, you will, first, I get a taste of this," He plunged his tongue in, a soft moan as your taste hit his tongue, his eyes looking up at you, then to the phone.
You squirmed as your walls involuntarily pulsed around his tongue. You squeezed your eyes shut, hips shaking as he flicked his tongue over your clit.
"You taste so good, fuck better than I remember," He sucked hard, laughing as you whimpered. "See, little slutty body like your can't help but react."
Wave after wave of pleasure crashed through you, Bo's large hand roaming your body, dipping under your shirt, sliding under your bra to squeeze your breast.
"Fuck it feels good too, remember how you used to beg me to suck on them?" He pinched your hardening nipple, "Look at the camera." He cooed.
He dipped two fingers into your heat, making you groan as he pressed down and sucked hard on your clit.
You breathed heavily through your nose, fighting the urge to let out a wanton moan. Tears flowed as your hips voluntarily bucked into Bo's face, his tongue sending wave after wave of euphoria through you that not even Vincent could manage.
Bo shook his head, a raspy moan muffled by the lewd noises your pussy made as he fingered you. He looked up, smirking into you, your pussy clenching around his fingers, how you covered your mouth to fight back the deep moan.
You ran your hand through Bo's brown hair, he moaned, taking the action as approval for his ministrations. You pushed on him, your airy moans muffled by your palm as you came. Bo stayed latched onto your clit, suckling and flicking it, tongue deep to your cunt to lap at you, groaning as it pulsed around his muscle.
Bo shot up, licking his lips of your cream, "Ah, see that, wanna taste?" You shook your head, mouth a no. He leaned in, one hand angling his cock while the other grabbed your neck.
His tongue wrapped around yours, muffling the whine as he slammed into you, his cock stretching you out, a slight burn mixed with pleasure.
Bo wasted no time, slamming hard into you, his cheeks pink as he groaned into the kiss, he lifted his head, "Ah, fuck, needy little pussy fuckin' missed me. Ah shit, I fuck." He grunted above you, his body pressing you into the table, "Fuck, it missed me, fuck it missed me."
You sobbed under him, your mind going to Vincent, trying to picture it was Vincent on top of you, it was you and Vincent making love in the library, not Bo. Not Bo sending waves of familiar pleasure through you, his cock stretching you out.
"Please, don't cum in me, Bo, please don't."
"Wah? cum in you? Sure, I can do that, after all, your little pussy was made for it." He sneered at you, a dark look flashed over him.
You punched at him, "I'll scream."
"You scream and that video gets sent to Vincent. Doesn't matter I'm hav-having m-my way with y-you." He stuttered between thrusts, "Just a video of you getting impregnated by his older brother. He won't want you."
You sobbed as tears spilled as you turned away from him, Vincent flashed in your mind. His smile, his light blue eyes, his hands holding yours.
Your body tensed as Bo's cock felt intoxicating, the familiar rhythm, his harsh kisses, mind being taken back to you on his bed, how he'd hiked your legs over his shoulders as he pushed them onto your chest, a cocky grin as he fucked you deep.
"Bo," You whimpered, "Please," you continued "Just not inside."
He slammed harder, groaning as you clenched around him, "Feels like it wants it inside. Don't lie to yourself, Sweets."
You couldn't, the tears fell, you whimpered Vincent's name, "Hurry, Bo."
Bo couldn't hold back, your sexy little body squirming under him, your pussy clenching around him, your spent leaking onto the table, your stifled moans. "Look at the camera as you cum, look as I cum in you," He turned your head towards the phone, tears freely falling Bo licked your cheek.
His breathing, his thrusts, his cock filling you so well, his raspy praise. You stared, "I'm sorry, Vincent." You scrunched your face as Bo positioned in and out, a low groan reverberated from his chest.
Bo laughed as he came, his seed painting your insides, coating your pink walls, picturing it shooting deep into your womb, his little swimmers getting to work.
You fought back the urge to barf, his cum filling you send a ripple of pleasure through you.
Bo hissed as his breathing slowed, the realization of your nails digging into his shoulders, came to his senses. He slowly pulled out, grabbing the phone, to capture his seed dripping out of your pussy.
He wrapped his hand around your throat, squeezing, a threat. He continued to film, "Ah, look at that, good little slut getting bred. Just like she was made too."
Bo brought the camera to your face, "Say, 'Hi, Vincent!' ha" he laughed as you kept your vision off him and the camera.
"it's okay, I know you're thinking of getting that plan B. But you'll be coming with me tonight, I'm gonna make sure my seed takes." Bo released your neck, thumb running over your lips as you coughed.
"Get dressed, we're gonna get a hotel, this is from over." He leaned in to kiss your cheek, "My good girl, mine again." He hugged you as he sent the video to his phone. He laughed as he felt you shake in his arms,
"I wonder what Vincent will do when he sees this, gosh I can only imagine." He hummed and swayed you back and forth, "You'll look great with my child in you, can't wait, ah you'll be so beautiful."
#Bo sinclair#Bo sinclair x reader#Bo sinclair x you#Bo sinclair imagine#Bo sinclair x y/n#Vincent sinclair#Vincent sinclair x you#Vincent sinclair x reader#Vincent sinclair imagine#house of wax 2005#smut#lemon#dark fic#slasher x reader#Slasher x you#Slasher imagine
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cute relationship things with ateez!
genre: fluff (a lot)
warnings: none :)
established relationship!
a/n: i meant to post this like two weeks ago but i never finished it so consider this an early valentine’s day gift <3 ;)
seonghwa:
for some reason, i feel like seonghwa likes to read books
with that being said, on lazy days where you guys didn’t want to get up and do anything
you guys would read books !!!
before you guys would read some were recommendations from each other on your own
and then maybe rant to each other over little details about the book like how the main character went back to their toxic ex or how the ending of a book was so bad
“seonghwa, how did you even read this?!? the stupid ass main character keeps going back to that one jerk! like does she not realize she deserves more than his ugly ass???!!!?”
“y/n, just keep reading.”
“but hwa-”
turns out the main character got with the other woman yayyyyy!!! fuck shitty men
i don’t know how it happened but you guys started your own little book club with each other
so you guys could finally talk rant together at the same time about the book
so since you guys started to read the same book and if you guys found down time together you would read together
like, imagine it’s a peaceful friday night
seonghwa is back from work and so are you
you guys already showered and ate dinner
you’re just reading and then seonghwa just scoops you up and then puts you in between his legs with your back against his chest
and you’re like “wtf bro?”
and he’s just like, “what? i wanna read too???”
“didn’t you like read ahead tho??”
“yeah, but i wanna read it again.”
that was a fatass lie
he just wanted to be close to you
hongjoong:
ok so, we all know that this man is hella busy all the time
mans is the leader, song writer, producer, dancer, rapper (which is why he is good at all positions)
but you were patient with him and whenever he goes days without seeing you due to his busy ass schedule he would make it up to you yk what i mean
but on the more chill days when you saw hongjoong or even the days where he was cooped in his studio (you would visit him there because sometimes you just had to see him)
you guys would just lay on the couch, just enjoying each other’s presence and not feel like you have to make up for lost time
you would be on the bottom on your phone or reading a magazine/book
then hongjoong would be at the top with his head on your stomach as he would be writing down lyrics that came to mind
killing two birds with one stone you feel me
sometimes you would show him a funny meme that you found or quote something that you just read to him
“hongjoong, look at the way he fell!” you would be dying of laughter
and then he wouldn’t notice because he was really roped into making lyrics
but you also didn’t see him focusing so much because you were of course laughing at the kid that accidentally got bitchslapped off the couch because of their sibling
“joongie look!!!”
“what is it?”
you would then show him what happened and then he would look at with that “you really interrupted me for this??” type of look
“i just lost my train of thought for this song because you wanted to show me this kid falling off of a couch???”
“yes?”
he would just bring a hand to his face and think what tf? why tf? and then slowly start laughing because of what just happened
“see, wasn’t it funny?”
“a child getting hurt isn’t funny, y/n” he would laugh while scolding you
yunho:
yunho powers im sorry for this one
alright so, it’s night time
you guys are about to go to bed after a long day or work/school whatever
your eyes are fluttering closed because the day got you beat beat
but then yunho just kisses your face
and then you open your eyes slowly again to see yunho look like he just got caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to do
like imagine a kid that just got caught drawing on the walls
that’s what his face would look like
he’s just laying there like “i thought you were asleep...”
“i was just about to...”
yunho feels lowkey guilty now because you’re awake now and he knows you had a long day
he just couldn’t resist kissing you
you just looked so pretty and peaceful sleeping
mans was reminded by the universe themself about how lucky he was being able to date you
like, godamn what did he do in his past life to deserve you?
ok, back to this reaction idea thing-
yunho would apologize for waking you up with his cheeks a nice rosy color
you just look at him with tired eyes
“i’ll forgive you, if you give me more kisses.”
and yunho’s smile just lights up the whole damn room and he’s like oh? say less
so he goes to kissing your face
like all over
your nose
your cheeks
forehead
basically anywhere ok?
and you end up laughing because it tickles
but you just want him to kiss your lips which he does
... eventually lmao
but when he does your still laughing which causes him to laugh
he tells you “i love you, did you know that?”
and you get all flustered and shit but you still keep that playful energy around
“i love you too, but you aren’t forgiven just yet”
which leads to more kisses :))))
yeosang:
ok so you’re now the busy one
yeosang has so much respect for you because holy shit how do you balance that busy ass schedule of yours
your homework loads were no jokes
then to add to that you have a job which was even more stressful
it was amazing how you can manage all that and still keep a smile on your face
you also had major respect for yeosang as an idol
the industry was not a place to fuck around
you couldn’t be happier that your boyfriend was lucky enough to have a group who actually cared and supported each other
speaking of ateez, yeosang isn’t the most touchy person in the world
you didn’t mind of course, you’re the same way
however, when he did give you cuddles and kisses you would be a blushing mess
a sort of rare sight that yeosang loved to see
anyways, one night you were busy writing those argumentative essays that you were sure that your fingers would fall off by the time you were finished
you were working on it ever since you got home from school (with the occasional food and bathroom breaks )to the time when yeosang came back from practice
you moved to your shared bed by the time the sweaty boy came home and he was surprised that you were working on one subject for so long
the stupid piece was almost finished by the time yeosang was out of the shower
however, you didn’t even notice
you were too immersed in your writing to notice
yeosang took this as an opportunity to sit behind you and wrap his arms around your waist and watch over your shoulder as you worked
and of course, he would kiss your cheek occasionally
this was super sweet gesture but yeosang but you didn’t the notice that he wrapped his arms around you
“ai yah! what the hell?” you yelled and turned around to see your boyfriend clutching his chest
“oh it’s just you.”
yeosang would give you a deadpanned look and be like, “yeah, who else tf???”
you would apologize and kissing his cheek before returning to back to work
which yeosang would return to hugging your waist and keep his head on your shoulder
and give you occasional kisses on your cheek or neck
after that night, it became a weekly occurrence
which you loved of course, who wouldn’t love their bf cuddling them while they chased their bag
san:
i am very excited for this one
ok so, san loves playing with your hair
it’s just so much fun
running his fingers through it or just attempting to braid it or put it into a tiny ponytail
he loved it
he would probably always play with your while you were watching tv together, sitting together in the car, or even before you guys fall asleep
then one day after san came home early from work
you guys were chilling on the bed watching the latest k-drama that came out since san made you wait so you guys could watch it together
san was in between your legs with his back leaning against your chest
and that’s when you decided to run your fingers through his soft, fluffy hair
that’s also when san asked you to braid his hair
“sure, what type of braid though?”
“there’s different kinds????”
“yes, san. now pick one.” you gave him your phone that was pulled up to different types braids.
“i want the french ones. they sound fancy.”
you roll your eyes and start sectioning his hair into two sections and start braiding his hair and lightly pull on the pink strands because you know san likes his hair pulled
so you doing his hair right
and you begin rambling about your day/week
talking about whatever interesting happened to you because you know that san likes hearing you talk no matter what it’s about
however, you were knee deep into talking about the latest drama at work that you didn’t even realize that san stopped talking
“san?”
he didn’t answer and his head would be dipping down so low you were surprised you didn’t fall over
“baby?”
san still wouldn’t respond to you
but this time he just flipped over so his head would be on your stomach as he wrapped your arms around your stomach
“mmmmmmm?”
“nevermind love, just sleep.”
he would respond by burying his head further into your stomach and tightened his hold around you
you kissed his head and ran your fingers through his hair which lulled san to sleep even more
“goodnight sannie.”
mingi:
you have been best friends with song mingi ever since you moved into the tiny neighborhood that you call home
it all started when your parents brought you over to your next door neighbor’s house for breakfast on a cold saturday morning
you were extremely shy when you were little so the only thing you could remember about your first experience with mingi was hiding behind your mother’s leg for the first hour of being there and watching the young boy play with his toy cars and planes before he finally offered a pirate ship to you
ever since that unforgettable saturday, you pretty much spent the rest of your childhood with mingi
you guys were practically joined at the hip
even when you were getting endlessly teased by your classmates for the first month of school for having an accent whenever you spoke
which resulted in you running to the bathroom crying
not even a minute later, you heard someone burst through the girls’ bathrrom
“y/n?”
you peaked your head out of the stall to see your tall neighbor looking out of breath
“mingi, you aren’t supposed to be here!” you said in between sobs
“it’s okay, i don’t care.” he said as he awkwardly wrapped his arms around you. “are you okay?”
you shook your head no looking at him with tears running down your face
the poor boy was internally freaking out since he has no clue on how to comfort people (especially if they’re a girl)
he was like eight at the time give him a little break
so of course, his first reaction was to make you laugh somehow
and he did this by randomly recreating the “boots and cats, boots and cats” rhythm after seeing siri do it in a youtube video and started to bop his head
surprised by his sudden movements, you laughed out of pure confusion
as soon as mingi saw the corner of your lips flip upwards he began rapping faster to the point where he was gasping for breath leading him into a coughing fit
“mingi you can breathe, y’know!” you giggled in between words
after the young boy had caught his breath from hacking away at his lungs, he smiled at you
until- the teacher had came into the bathroom, scolding mingi for going into the girls’ restroom
even though mingi didn’t care at all that he got in trouble, the only thing he cared about was that you were feeling better
ever since then whenever you were sad or having a bad day mingi would whip out his phone and ask siri to rap while he free-styled over the monotone voice
he literally still does it
even two years into your relationship-
“siri, can you rap for me?” mingi would ask his phone as he pointed his free arm at you
“boots and cats-”
“mingi, please no.” you laughed in between tears, your mood rising with every beat
wooyoung:
i wholeheartedly believe that wooyoung would kiss you face if you were sad
but the first time this happened, you guys were still fairly new into your relationship
which meant that you weren’t completely ready to be extremely vulnerable around wooyoung
because in your mind, letting someone see you at your lowest lows of means that you really trust and love someone to let them see you like that
you always wanted to be known as the strong person in the friend group
you were that glue that held everyone together
always listening to others and taking care of others before yourself
which is why wooyoung fell in love with you in the first place
he had never been in a relationship where someone was so caring and thoughtful of others that he was scared that he wouldn’t be enough for you and that you deserved better
of course, he didn’t tell you that right away but he confessed to you about that wayyy later in your relationship which is another story to be told
but one day, life was coming at you so fucking fast
assignments were piling up left and right and deadlines were literally every other day
and then there seemed to be an increase in the amount of angry karens at your work
and your patience was thinning everyday with those people
then to top it all off, all the tests you’ve been studying for, you got mediocre grades, some even worse in other subjects
it just felt like no matter how much work you put into whatever you do, you got half ass results
it was just pushing your mental health further into the ground
you could handle a C every once in awhile but multiple? on back to back tests? no fucking way you just couldn’t
those stupid, dark thoughts would cloud your mind in an instant and on days like this, you would just let them consume you
you were too tired to pick yourself up again and fight back which led to you crying in wooyoung’s arms
usually, you would feel so embarrassed crying over things like this when you know other people have it worse but you couldn’t hold in it anymore
you ranted about yourself in between your hiccups from crying which would hurt wooyoung’s heart a little bit
because he thought of you as such a strong and kind person- the complete opposite of what you were saying about yourself
so when you were done talking, wooyoung made you look at him and assured you that you were not any of those nasty things that you said about yourself
each insult turned into a thoughtful compliment accompanied by a kiss
“y/n, you are so intelligent-”
kiss
“caring-”
kiss
“beautiful-”
kiss
“more than everything i ever wanted”
kiss
by the time wooyoung was done, you were a giggling mess
“and this is why i love you.”
he finally kissed you on your lips, smiling into it like the dork he is
it was the first ever time he told you that he loved you
jongho:
i am also a firm believer that jongho would sing his s/o to sleep
like with that heavenly voice of his, he better put them to sleep
so on the first night you ever slept with jongho, you were too nervous to go to bed even though your body was screaming at you to close your eyes
you kept tossing and turning every few minutes or your eyes would shoot open with your heart racing
at this point, you gave up on trying to sleep and got up (carefully to not wake up your sleeping boyfriend) to get a drink
while you were in the kitchen, clutching your chest in an effort to get yourself to calm down, jongho had stirred awake to an empty bed
a flash of panic surged through his body as he momentarily forgot where he was since he wasn’t at his dorm his room never looked this clean
yawning, the vocalist would wander into the light with his eyes squinted, “y/n?”
“oh my god!” you jumped, water almost spilling out your glass
jongho covered his ears, “what are you doing up?”
“oh,” you felt your cheeks turn red since you felt bad for waking your boyfriend up. “i can’t sleep.”
“why?” he asked, walking towards the couch.
“i don’t know.” you answered as you followed close behind.
you curled up next to jongho, clutching his shirt “i’m sorry for waking you up.”
jongho smiled tiredly at you before kissing your head, “don’t be. it’s okay. i don’t have work tomorrow anyways.”
you smiled in response before the two of you guys fell into a silence
“do you want me to sing you to sleep?”
“yes, please.” you murmured into his side as jongho placed his other arm around you, successfully trapping you in between his arms
he began singing softly into your ear as he stroked your hair
his warm voice coaxing your eyes to close
at last, your mind was at peace with itself
your heart beat slowing down
and by the time the song was finished you were fast asleep in arms
jongho kissed your forehead once more
“i love you.”
#ateez fluff#ateez reaction#ateez reactions#ateez scenarios#park seonghwa#kim hongjoong#jeong yunho#kang yeosang#choi san#jung wooyoung#song mingi#choi jongho#park seonghwa fluff#park seonghwa imagine#park seonghwa reaction#kim hongjoong imagines#kim hongjoong fluff#kim hongjoong reaction#jeong yunho fluff#jeong yunho reaction#jeong yunho imagine#kang yeosang fluff#kang yeosang reaction#kang yeosang imagine#choi san fluff#choi san reaction#choi san imagine#song mingi reaction#song mingi fluff#song mingi imagines
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Halloween isn't making me really happy this year.
I mean, there's a lot of other factors going into play too, but definitely my mind has been preoccupied extra since a lot of feelings have been catching up since last year.
J.G. sure picked a "appropriate" time of year to pull the ghosting act, if you catch my drift.
But again, there's a lot more.
Part One: Realization
The first thing I have to admit isn’t too surprising but still something people don’t condone. I feel comfortable admitting to it now since I blocked-unfollowed J.G. and I’m certain they don’t give a rat’s shit about me to do the same by coming onto my blog (like they ever cared enough about me to want to keep tabs on me). It’s ironic that I say this since what I’m about to admit is that yes: since around the time they ghosted me, I made a habit of lurking on their active social media, which was basically their Facebook. Not only was their FB a public profile (now that I blocked-unfollowed J.G. from IG, I can’t see their photos anymore because private account), it was also the only platform that we never mutually followed each other on, so I felt that this was the only place I could see the “real” J.G.
As the old proverb says, “curiosity killed the cat.” But satisfaction did not bring me back.
When I scrolled back to around the time the ghosting happened, I was a bit forlorn at first to see that there was no post alluding to the event, or of me in anyway, but J.G. did have a “shit post” model of social media as of recently – not really making any posts about their personal life – so I decided to proceed with periodically dipping into their feed, because in actuality seeing them regularly reposting cheesy/shitty memes gave the illusion that we were still talking to one another. I stuck to doing that for a few months because of that.
Until around February/March when they posted a rare personally typed post [changed some wording for privacy]:
People: "But why are you still single?"
Me [J.G.]: "Because I'd rather hold people accountable to their actions than entertain their crap."
And that was the last time I went onto their Facebook.
Weirdly, it was not the last time I tried to contact them, but definitely… I couldn’t look at their open-secret thoughts anymore. Maybe it wasn’t directed at me, but at that point it seemed like a double-edged sword. It was either J.G. felt so much resentment toward the type of relationship we just shared, or J.G. never cared enough about me to even acknowledge anything. It was a big stab to the heart.
And when I deleted all of our messages and the pictures they sent to me of them, I screen captured that post, because I wanted to keep it as a reminder of how much of a mistake it was to be involved with them.
Even though I haven’t accepted it yet.
Part Two: Shame/Embarrassment
This might be something to be discussed with a therapist, but I think a reason that I’ve been taking this whole ghosting/break-up saga so deeply is because – as much as I don’t want to admit it – I’ve been feeling a lot of shame and embarrassment when looking back at me and J.G.’s relationship. And despite how I’ve talked at lengths about my relationship woes to only two of my close friends (the only two people I’ve been regularly seeing for about the same length of time I’ve been ghosted by J.G.) , it’s a detail I never told either of them.
Me and J.G.’s first time together… was my first time.
Some people will roll their eyes and scoff, “ you’re seriously embarrassed about admitting *that*?” and in response I roll my eyes even further and scoff, “Yeah well can we stop pretending that in spite of the ‘sex positive’ façade of our generation some of ya’ll have a weird reaction toward mid/late life virginity loss (it’s possibly the only thing where I have a shred of sympathy for incels and the like since some people *do* talk down on people who are sexually inexperienced/shy/conservative) so can you shove your Adam & Eve promo coupon up someone else’s butthole?”
I deprogrammed myself to not believe in the whole, “save yourself until marriage,” stuff, obviously, BUT I had the expectation that my first time would be with a person who was understanding, kind, good-looking… I just wanted to be with someone who was a good person, because even if we didn’t end up together for whatever reason, it wouldn’t have been on bad terms, it wouldn’t have been regrettable. The good memories and experiences wouldn’t be tainted.
And I guess my embarrassment and shame comes with the gravity of the possibility that I gave myself to a person who by all accounts is a narcissist and/or a psychopath.
And I played into their game.
I know we fling those words around a lot, but this is based on what J.G. has told me about their family/upbringing and I’m not going to be so insensitive as to reveal *their* specific issues, because I don’t even think they know that I know, even though they were quite open about it on their blog.
I don’t want to sound counter-progressive in this era of mental health awareness, but a part of me deep down is regretful that I wanted to give J.G. some compassion and empathy by looking past their struggles… I asked myself if it was a good choice to get involved with some like this, someone like them; apart from our physical distance and cultural difference, this was probably the biggest barrier. Call it hindsight, it was written on the walls that J.G. would do something like this. I’ve read of other people getting ghosted like this by partners/friends who had such conditions.
And then I look at my own family, with so many women – including my mother – having to look after not just physically and mentally ill spouses, but spouses who are just so ungrateful despite their partner’s sacrifices, it seems. Did I really want to put myself in the same boat? It would honestly be safer to remain single even in advanced age and death than to be… weighed down with such a burden.
But I kept telling myself, “NO. Just because people have mental illnesses doesn’t mean they’re bad people. It doesn’t mean their evil/sinister. It doesn’t mean they can’t live complete lives. It doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to have love in their lives.”
I never wanted to fix them – hence why I never brought up the fact that I knew about/remembered their struggles – but I was willing to learn and to be with them throughout if they would let me, have me.
But now you see why I’ve gone nearly half-insane from this. Because I WANT to think that J.G. is an evil, heartless, sociopath so that I can finally realize that by them ghosting me I dodged a deadly bullet, BUT then I’m still suffering from the fact that I was still non-fatally shot by their actions. It’s proving to be very difficult because… how can somebody be both the worst and the best at the same time? J.G. is definitely the person who – out of all of my past relationships – hurt me the most, yet at the same time, whenever I have negative encounters with men and other people (patronizing, predatory), I always think about J.G. as a comfort tool. Like, “J.G. wouldn’t talk to me like that,” or, “J.G. would protect me and keep me safe.”
The thought of our entire relationship being just a game to them seems incomprehensible to me – it makes no sense to believe that for all of these years since meeting on Tumblr, J.G. held the thought, “yup one day I’m going to fuck this chick,” in their mind and saw an opportunity to do so when I began the process of admitting my feelings to them only two years ago (as I recall, I didn’t even make it on any of their “most attractive mutuals” lists). But then again, some people make it their mission to knock women off any pedestal they have just to “humble” them. Maybe they thought I was snooty or a know-it-all or that I was trying to get into their pants for ulterior motives.
And I guess I just made it easy for them. Stupid, stupid.
Part Three: Lessons
There was a time I wanted to be a teacher – like, a formal schoolteacher. The closest I got to becoming one was when I was an after school instructor for kindergarten and 1st grade kids. I learned a lot on that job – including that I didn’t really want to be around kids and that I was willing to go to graduate school to avoid those type of jobs (once people see that you worked in either public education and/or childcare, that’s all they focus on – especially if you’re a chick). At this rate I’m more cut out for college level teaching; maybe I’ll give teaching at the associate’s level a try in a couple of years.
But no matter my education experience and my experience in public education and the like, it turns out J.G. of all people was a superior teacher all along, unintentional or not.
Because it’s been through their cruelty of silence that finally cemented into my mind that this relationship shit isn’t fucking worth it.
They’ve taught me that no one can make them love or care for anyone whom they see as being beneath them.
They’ve taught me that it’s very easy to put on a veil of “niceness.”
They’ve taught me that it’s not worth it to be around certain people – or really a lot of people.
They've taught me a lot and they were very hard pills to swallow. But I had to. They forced me to.
Conclusion:
So yeah. A year ago around this time – oddly enough I forget which date it was exactly and I can’t exactly go back to check those messages – J.G. said that they’d text me back about coming up north to where I live to visit me. They still haven’t texted me back.
Another odd thing is that is that the event didn’t ruin my Halloween, per se. But that’s not a fucking excuse for them and if they try to use that as an excuse, well, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that they’d stoop to that level to relieve themselves of any guilt – if they have any.
I’m in school again and school assignments are taking up my time. I’m still working at my current job, and that’s taking up my time. I’m trying to finish an independent research project for an archaeology conference in Portugal in January, and that’s taking up my time. And I’m going to Greece with my half-estranged brother in two weeks, and that’s taking up my time.
Shit always hits the fan in October, my favorite month, and it seems like I have no real time to indulge in Halloween after all.
But it feels like the trauma from last October is catching up to me at last, because in reality, the thing taking up most of my time, ruining Halloween, is thinking about J.G.
I wish it’ll end someday.
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Ex's and Bo's ( Bokuto Koutarou x Reader )
Warning(s): Probably the most in-depth kiss scene I have ever written? Not really nsfw in any way, maybe a little making out????? Also, expect some spam in the coming days. I had been super busy and unable to actually post my haitober stuff so, here comes the flood! Title: Ex's and Bo's Pairing: Bokuto Koutarou x Reader Fandom: Haikyuu! Word Count: 2,506
Life sucked.
Even the weather outside was agreeing with you as rain poured down, soaking anything that dared to be out. You were laying on your bed with as many blankets wrapped around you as possible as if the soft fabric could absorb all of your bad feelings.
How long had you wasted when you were dating your ex-boyfriend? You knew he wasn't good for you, you knew that from the start. But, what were you supposed to do when he was the first person to really show you any attention? He liked you in a way that was more than friends. When you had gone so long, watching everyone else get together while you were stuck on the sidelines, you couldn't believe that someone liked you. It was easy to ignore the red flags when you were just so excited that someone liked you.
Even though you were the one that broke up with him, it still hurt. It hurt because you felt stupid for ever agreeing to be in a relationship with him. It hurt because even though he was never good for you, you still thought he cared about you in some way. Yet, he had decided to go behind your back and flirt with some other girls. He thought you wouldn't figure it out. He must have thought you were stupid and you were starting to wonder if he was right?
"Hey! Hey! Hey! Stop being sad because your best friends are here!" Bokuto yelled as he walked into your room, trailed behind by Akaashi. If this was the first time they came to visit, you would be worried that your parents would get annoyed by the yelling but they had come to accept it now. It was impossible to have Bokuto over and expect to keep a quiet house. "We are going to take that frown and turn it upside!"
You forgot that you had texted either one of them. It started with a simple text to Bokuto, a single meme picture that hinted at how you felt. After fifteen minutes, Bokuto had already pulled the entire truth from you and invited himself and Akaashi over to take care of you.
"Bokuto, calm down." Akaashi slapped his friend's shoulder to pull him down from his energetic state. He had been crazy when he picked Akaashi up, ranting about how he would totally beat your ex up and how they had to make you feel better. He didn't say anything along the lines of a plan for making you feel better but he was as confident as he was on the court. You had helped him through his emo times and so it was his job to do the same thing for you.
The loud third year flopped down on your bed, arms wrapping around your waist to playfully tickle your sides. He knew you were ticklish and he was using it against you! It was hard to keep a frown on your face as you struggled not to burst out laughing. With his own loud laughter, Bokuto rolled over to pull you ontop of him with your back pressing against his chest.
"Come on, give us a smile! I'm not gonna stop until you smile for me!" He shouted, keeping you trapped like a turtle on its back. Somehow you were able to squirm out of his hold and quickly hid behind Akaashi, using him as a human shield. His face was as stoic as ever, shaking his head slightly at his friend's antics.
"We meant to go to the store before coming here but Bokuto couldn't wait." Akaashi sighed, glancing over his shoulder to look at you, "I was planning on bringing him here so you can babysit him while I go back out and get some stuff for us to eat. Maybe watching a toddler will help you get your thoughts off of your ex."
"I am not a toddler!" Bokuto sat up, arms hanging loosely with his hands in his lap.
"Do you want snacks or not?"
"....Yes please."
It was funny watching the two best friends communicate with each other as you rubbed your tear stained cheeks. It was easy to forget what you were crying about when you had the two of them around. This wouldn't be the first time they got you through a hard time. When you had sprained your ankle during your own volleyball practice, Bokuto (and Akaashi, when were they ever really apart?) was there in no time with your favorite drink and gave you piggyback rides to and from school for a week.
Akaashi gave you a questioning look, waiting until you nodded to leave your room. Nobody knew how much Bokuto could be more than this setter. He wasn't going to leave you alone with him if it was going to be too much for you. They were here to make you feel better, he didn't want to stress you out or make things worse. His friend may not always think things through but he did.
Golden eyes followed your form as you sat down beside Bokuto, a small huff escaping your lips. Silence had fallen over the room once Akaashi shut the door and you were reminded of why they had come over. The chaos of their intial apperence was fading and the pleasant distraction from a few moments ago was gone. You sighed, staring at your own lap in thought. Bokuto looked like a lost puppy, unsure of what he should do. He didn't like this feeling, he never liked seeing you this way. He felt helpless.
You moved to lay on your back, eyes staring up at the ceiling. Were you sad? It was hard to tell...Everything was going to be fine, this was just one small relationship but that didn't mean it didn't hurt.
"It sucks..." Your voice was soft, eyes fluttering shut.
"Yeah, I know." You could feel the bed dip as Bokuto took the spot next to you, laying on his back and taking up the rest of the space on your small bed. You didn't mind the proximity, his warmth was nice. Even without saying anything, the simple touches that were being shared between the two of you was comforting. The brushing of arms, the hints of sides pressed against each other. You weren't sure how long the two of you stayed like that in silence but after what felt like an eternity, you heard the creeking of the bed and a presence hovering over you. Cue you opening your eyes and almost fall off your bed when you see Bokuto's signature grin.
While the lower half of his body was still on his side of the bed, he was now holding his upperhalf above you with those strong muscles of his. Wait...What? You would be lying if you said that you hadn't snuck peeks of the ace during his practices. To you, Bokuto was never an option because he was just so more. The two of you were so close that the idea of doing anything more than playful flirting was nonexistent. He was just...Bokuto.
As he looked down at you with such caring eyes, you thought that maybe you were wrong. It made your stomach flip from the proximity between the two of you. This had never happened before. The two of you had laid on each other in the past, whether it was you laying with your head on his chest or Bokuto flopped on his stomach, laying over your legs. You had done that without blinking an eye but here he was, not even touching you in any way but still making you feel this flustered.
"You know this has nothing to do with you, right? You didn't do anything wrong." Bokuto spoke in a level voice, sounding more serious that he ever had. It was rare you saw this side of him. It was rare for anyone to see this side of him.
"You are one of the best people I know. It isn't right that this happened to you and I swear, 'Kaashi and I will do whatever we need to until you are back to being the same amazing person we know."
"I just, I feel so stupid Bo. I don't want to be sad over this jerk but I can't help it. It hurts...This is shitty. It isn't fair that he decided to lead me on. When...When I was breaking up with him, he said that he never cared. He just thought I was pretty and wanted to fool around. Why do people have to lie? It isn't nice..." Tears were streaming down your face now, blurring your vision until all you could see were the splashes of color of Bokuto's eyes.
Bokuto moved all of his weight onto his one forearm so he could cup your face with his now free hand. His thumb brushed over a stray tear, frowning. He didn't know what to do, you were too good of a person to be hurt like this. You should be treasured like the precious person that you were. He didn't know what to do, he didn't know what to say. He never was good with his words so he decided to act instead.
He kissed you.
It was a quick peck and nothing more. As you stared up at him, you were greeted with wide eyes mirroring your own confusion. You didn't know why he did it and he didn't know why either. Three seconds passed, three heartbeats passed, and then you pulled the boy back down to capture his lips once again. A spark shot through you, ignatiting a fire in your stomach that you didn't know you have.
Small gasps were exchanged in the quick moments the two of you pulled away. His hand ran down from your cheek to gently caress at your neck, causing a shiver to run through you. Bokuto was very outgoing with all of his actions but here he was, slowly dancing his lips along your own with gentle contemplation. The flush of your cheeks changed from being due to crying to something else, something that even your ex had never made you feel. Perhaps deep down you knew that you weren't meant to be with him.
As one of Bokuto's hands was placed right next to your head, his free hand slowly snuck under your loose shirt to ghost over your skin warm. His thumb traced over your top rib, just hinting where he could touch if he only moved a few inches higher. His rough and calloused palm from spiking ran over your smooth stomach, causing your breath to hitch and shivers to run up your spine. This was not how you thought today was going to go, but you weren't going to complain.
"Bo..." You whined, head tilting to the side as his lips attacked the soft skin of your neck. His teeth were nipping with just enough pressure for you to feel it, tongue soothing the area just as quickly. Bokuto was like a man dying of thirst and you were the oasis shimmering before him.
His kisses started at your jaw with nothing more than butterfly kisses but he slowly began to suck your delicate skin the further he went down. Simple kisses turned into ones with the intent on leaving purple marks that would remind you of that night. It wasn't until he reached just below your collarbone that his teeth nipped your skin enough for a small sting to be left but Bokuto didn't give you any time to focus on that feeling before he was kissing your skin again.
When had Bokuto learned how to do something like this? For all you knew, the boy hadn't dated anyone before. He never mentioned any late-night meetings with anyone. He had told you and Akaashi the first time he had kissed a girl (A girl had kissed him to convince some creep that they were dating. They were not). The owl was so excited, just going on and on how soft girls' lips were. He wasn't even talking about that girl specifically. He just went on a rant the next day at school about how amazing girls were. It was cute.
"I always thought that guy was terrible for you," He gasped out in between kisses, golden eyes staring up at you with such an intensity that only Bokuto could have, "Every time you complained about him, I always wanted to say how I would be so much better for you, but 'Kaashi always said that I was being overprotective."
A laugh escaped your swollen lips, the butterflies in your stomach being released. No longer were you feeling too shocked about what was going on. There was no way to keep yourself from getting flustered by the boy's actions but now you could enjoy it. You didn't have to feel guilty that you had just broken up with your boyfriend and that this would just mean you were sleazy. The nagging voice of your ex was slowly disappearing and Bokuto's voice was taking its place.
"But I was totally right, right?" His head pulled back, putting most of his weight onto his hand pushed against the bed so he was hovering over you once again. The gentle caresses evolved into Bokuto gripping your side as if afraid that if he let go, you would fade away like a ghost.
"Right." Your hands that had been gripping at the boy's shirt moved to wrap around his neck to pull him back down for a kiss. Your confidence was growing and that only egged Bokuto on to go further. Every action started with hesitation but as soon as you gave any sign of the go-ahead, the boy would go at it with everything he had. People couldn't say that Bokuto didn't try his best in everything that he cared about, that's for sure.
But all good things can't last forever and Akaashi could only take so long getting the snacks.
"I'm coming in so stop making out or whatever." Akaashi pounded on the door, causing Bokuto to jump like he was more of a cat than an owl. You shot up to fix your shirt as Bokuto pushed himself away. He may be an amazing volleyball player but he wasn't always the best at remembering his surroundings as a loud thump resounded in the room. Akaashi walked into the room to see you, still on your bed with red cheeks and heavy breaths, and Bokuto laying on his back on the ground, his foot being the only part still on the bed. Akaashi only sighed, walking in with the goodies he had gotten from the store.
You couldn't help but wonder what could have happened if the dark-haired boy hadn't interrupted. The thoughts of your ex were all but forgotten and replaced with the excitement of the future that awaited you with Bokuto.
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haitober#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyuu! imagines#haikyuu!! fanfiction#haikyuu scenarios#bokuto#bokuto x reader#bokuto koutarou#bokuto koutarou x reader#akaashi headcanons
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hi! saw ur post about reading up on Scott Free- I know you didn't ask for input and I hope I'm not being too forward but I noticed you were reading the Justice League title for Scott and I'd just like to say that, if you haven't already, I'd look at the Mister Miracle v1 issues 1-18 by Jack Kirby for the base of his characterization. I would avoid issues 19-26 of vol 1 (different writer) but the v2 issues by DeMatteis/Moench/Wein are pretty solid. the King run is a mixed bag.
Don't worry, I've finished Mister Miracle v1 already! Actually finished it yesterday right before I moved on to the Justice League 3-parter (which I enjoyed for the most part, especially Big Barda). I'm going in chronological order with the help of a reading list and DCUguide, so I'm moving on to Justice League and Justice League International next before Mister Miracle v2. I've also read The New Gods v1, mostly for context, since a good reason I'm reading up on Scott is bc I don't understand anything that goes on in space in DC and I'd like to not be completely lost on that, and Scott seemed like a nice lad and I vaguely knew he was connected to Apokalips (so yes I'm going in pretty much completely blind, it's been a ride). Also the Mister Miracle Special, which I really enjoyed, even though I have some mixed opions on its use of Barda, and the Batman/Mister Miracle team-ups in The Brave and the Bold, which I thought were pretty shitty for the most part lmao.
I do appreciate this ask a lot though, and would've liked to have gotten it sooner so I wouldn't have wasted my time with Mister Miracle #19-25. The reading list didn't tell me to read them, but like, they were there?? So I went 'might as well' and boy oh howdy did I regret that. I DESPISE how that writer writes Scott Free and especially Big Barda. Imo the quality of the series took a pretty stark dip the moment Ted Brown was resurrected from the dead without explenation, but #19-25... horrendous.
Anyway have a shitty meme I made while liveblogging those issues to my friend:
[Image: meme reading 'Scott Free has become Catholic' next to a cross, with an extremely pixalized panel of Scott floating down from the sky in the Jesus-on-the-cross pose, while clouds part behind his head like a halo. end description.]
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IBVS Week, Day One: Sleeping
I was pressured by @jellyskull-heart to post this early, so here you go.
IBVS belongs to @onebizarrekai
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Isaac sat crosslegged on his bed, doodling in his sketchbook. It was pretty late, but it was a Friday, so Isaac could sleep in as late as he wanted come the next morning.
As Isaac picked up his phone, intending to check the time, it started ringing, playing the song from that one meme with all of those guys dancing around with coffins. Perfect timing, Isaac thought with a sigh. The freckled boy raised an eyebrow when he saw that the caller ID said “Edward Quinton”. Isaac thought that it was really strange that Edward was calling at such a late hour, yet he found himself hitting the green button to accept the call.
“Hello?” Isaac held the phone up to his ear with his shoulder.
“Hey, Isaac.” Edward was panting heavily, as if he were out of breath. Isaac wasn’t one hundred percent sure, but he swore that he heard rustling in the background. “Hey, just curious, where are you right now?”
“I’m in my bedroom at home,” Isaac replied slowly. “Ed, I swear if this is a setup to make a shitty meme reference, I-”
“Are your parents there?” Edward asked, which Isaac thought was a strange question for him to ask. Edward was on pretty good terms with Isaac’s parents, after all. In fact, his mom and dad liked him quite a bit.
“Uhh, no. They went out to a party for the night. How come?”
The call ended. Isaac dropped his phone onto the bed, scoffing at how rude Edward had been, hanging up without even saying another word. Just as the dirty blonde teen opened his mouth to make a comment to himself, there was a loud knocking at the door.
Isaac got up and went to answer the door, assuming that his parents were home. But to his surprise, when he opened the door, Edward was standing there, looking beaten up. He was holding a hand up to his nose, which was bleeding, and he was covered in cuts.
“Let me guess. You got in a fight with Nevin again, didn’t you?” Isaac sighed, shaking his head.
“Yeah,” Edward muttered, gritting his teeth, looking embarrassed. “Can I come in?”
Isaac nodded, leading him inside. “Do you just keep fighting him for fun, or what? He’s got super strength, you know. You lose every time, and yet you keep fighting him again and again.”
Edward didn’t say anything in response, sitting down on the couch. Isaac headed upstairs to the bathroom, returning with a first aid kit. He sat down next to Edward, opening up the kit and taking out some rubbing alcohol and a cotton ball. He dipped the cotton in the alcohol and started to clean Edward’s injuries.
Edward winced as he felt the sharp sting caused by the rubbing alcohol, squirming around a little.
“Ed, hold still, I’m trying to patch you up.” Isaac took one of Edward’s hands with his free hand and squeezed it gently, as if he was reassuring his boyfriend. Edward very hesitantly squeezed back. Their relationship was fairly new, and while Edward had been the first one to confess his feelings, he still was nervous about the idea of the two of them being a couple, one main reason being that he wasn’t sure how dating a guy worked, given that all of the relationships that he had had in the past had been with women.
It wasn’t the first time Isaac had to patch Edward up, so luckily he was done quickly. Edward rubbed his finger over one of the band-aids on his arm, smiling softly at Isaac. “Thanks.” “No problem,” Isaac replied, putting away the contents of the first-aid kit. “So, why’d you get in a fight with Nevin this time? What’d you say to piss him off?”
“Actually...I didn’t do anything this time,” Edward admitted, rubbing the back of his head. “He came up to me looking super pissed and started screaming at me. He said something about me corrupting Drew, I think? I would have asked him what he meant, but he wouldn’t let me get a single word in. Hell, I didn’t even get a chance to fight back.”
“Huh. Well, that’s weird, to say the least. You’re probably the last person to corrupt anybody, let alone Drew.”
“I know, right?” Edward nodded. “It was really confusing. In fact, after Nevin finally stormed off, I just stood there for a while, trying to process it.”
It was silent for a little while. Isaac put the kit on the table before twiddling his thumbs nervously, leaning against the wall.
“Do you mind if I stay the night?” Edward finally asked. “It’s kind of late, and I’ll never get home before my curfew.”
“Of course you can stay. It’s not like I’ve got anything better to do, anyways.” Isaac headed upstairs to his room, Edward following and shutting the door behind them. “Do you need anything to sleep in, or-”
“Nah, I’m good.” The school king shrugged off his jacket and hung it up on a chair, kicking his shoes off before flopping on Isaac’s bed. The shorter boy got into bed next to him, and Edward immediately scooted towards him, wrapping his muscular arms around his stomach and holding him close.
Isaac felt a tension that he didn’t know was there in the first place leave his body. He felt oddly safe with Edward holding him. He didn’t know why, but when Edward was here, things seemed almost okay.
Edward buried his face in Isaac’s dirty blonde hair and sniffed it deeply, nuzzling it softly. “I really like your hair.”
“You do?”
“Yeah!” Edward smiles, stroking a few strands of Isaac’s hair between his thumb and forefinger. “It’s so silky and soft, and it even smells like cinnamon.”
“Cinnamon…” Isaac repeated softly to himself. He didn’t say another word, neither did Edward, the both of them savoring the peace and quiet that they shared as they slowly fell asleep, cuddled next to each other.
#ibvs#ibvsweek#isaac beamer#edward quinton#drew jovel#nevin jovel#they're only mentioned but i'm tagging them anyways because why not#Sugar's writing#isward#i've never written isward before so i hope this suffices#okay xie now go to sleep#also i love you
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Unknown (A Sterek Wrong Number/Celebrity AU)
11.09 PM Unknown Number
>I’m writing songs about you again.
11.20 PM Unknown Number
>its stiles btw.
>in case you deleted my number
>I did.
>I mean I deleted yours.
>but I still remember it apparently
11:41 PM Unknown Number
>I only have 2 lines so far
11:57 PM Unknown Number
>I bleed you from my veins.
>I grieve you like I love you.
>alone.
>its better with the chords.
>u were always better at writing lyrics than me
12:34 AM Unknown Number
>u were better everything than me
2:00 AM Unknown Number
>I hate that I miss you
2:07 AM Unknown Number
>do u want to hook up?
>I promise not to propose again
2:15 AM Unknown Number
>im sorry.
>ignore me.
>im drinking
Derek blinked bleary eyes. His phone screen was the only source of light in his room, as he read through the flurry text messages.
What the hell is a Stiles?
2:17 AM Unknown Number
<I think you have the wrong number
>Lydia?
<no
>oh thank fuck
>I mean
>I’m sorry
>for disturbing ur sleep
>but im just glad I didn’t drunk text my ex all of this
>bullet dodged right?
>is this what near death experiences feel like?
<I wouldn’t know.
>of course
>hey
>seeming as I have you here can I ask you a quick q?
>all my friends are asleep
<probably because its 3am
<everyone’s asleep
>2.39
>and ur not
>asleep that is
>so?
>I’ll take your silence as a go ahead
>what do you think?
>of the lyrics
<im the wrong person to ask
>never experienced heartbreak?
<no
<all song lyrics just look like bad poetry to me
>oh
>yeah I guess it does
>not everyone can be Rupi Kaur tho right?
<do you want to be rupi kaur?
>sure
>not to be dramatic or anything
>but
>I want to be anyone but me
>think id rather be someone like regina spektor tho
<regina spektor?
>singer/song writer
>shes my fucking inspiration
>her lyrics are like poetry to me
>you should listen to her music
<I dont really listen to music
>what the fuck?
>are you an alien?
<no?
>nice fucking try ET
>thats exactly what an alien would say
<…you got me there
>akdjfen
>is this you admitting I was right?
<no
<but this is me going to bed
<because its now 4AM
>already?
>fuck
>ive got an early start tomorrow
>good night random stranger
>and thanks
>for listening
>or reading ig
<good night
//
“You’re late.” Laura frowned, arms crossed.
“Are you going to let me in?” Derek grumbled, still feeling the affects of having stayed up until 4AM the previous night.
Laura didn’t argue she just stepped aside to let him through into her flat. “You’re grumpier than usual.” She noted.
“Didn’t sleep well.”
Derek hated the look she gave him then.
The look that said he was broken. The look that said she wanted to fix him.
“Is…Is it the nightmares again?” Laura’s voice dipped to a whisper, like the question alone would be enough to send him over the edge.
“No.”
An awkward silence defended over the two of them, neither knowing what to say.
Derek clung to the silence like a blanket, wishing things could go back to how they used to be. Back to when they knew how to speak to one another.
But this was enough.
It was enough to know that they were both trying. Failing. But trying.
//
2:40 PM Laura
>I’m here if you need to talk.
//
Derek isn’t good at art, but sometimes it’s the only way he can express himself. Words had never been his forte.
So instead he doodles.
Shitty toddler level doodles that he never shows anyone.
Sometimes he thinks if he could bring himself to show Laura she would like it. Maybe she would even understand it.
But there was a bigger chance that she wouldn’t, and he would feel even more like a stranger to his own sister than he already was.
//
10:18 PM Unknown Number
>I don’t remember it anymore
<You have the wrong number again
>No
>This is ‘not Lydia’ right?
<right
>So here’s the thing.
>I always thought if I needed to text her I could
>And I thought maybe I got her number wrong because I was drunk
>But I can’t remember it anymore
<Oh.
>I have some of her things still
>I don’t think I’ll ever get to return it now
>Unless she messages me first
<When did you two break up?
>Last year
>and I know what you’re thinking
>’it’s October’
>and I should be over her by now
>Trust me I know
>So you don’t need to lecture me
<I wasn’t going to
>Oh
<Stiles?
>That’s weird
<what is?
>I forgot I told you my name
<You should throw away the stuff she left behind.
>you’re right
>I don’t like it.
>but you’re right
>…thanks
<What for?
>for listening
>reading**
>my friends are pretty sick of hearing me complain
>so this is nice
<sure
<anytime
>dope
>no take backsies
<am I going to regret this?
>for definite
>you’re stuck with me now
//
That night Derek saves Stiles’ number as ‘Bad Poet’.
//
Stiles keeps messaging after that.
Stiles messages like they’ve been friends for years, and Derek very determinedly does not analyse why it is he always responds.
Even when there are messages dated from Laura from three days ago that he hasn’t even been able to bring himself to open yet.
He also ignores how when he’s messaging Stiles the gaping pit that had made residence in his chest feels just a little less inescapable.
//
Derek can’t bring himself to tell Stiles his name. He can’t bring himself open up, even though there’s a large part of him that wants to.
He’s not above admitting he’s scared.
//
Derek draws Stiles sometimes.
More accurately he draws a vague pair hands texting on a phone, because he has no idea what Stiles actually looks like.
Derek refuses to let himself dwell on that though, because they are happy drawings.
The pictures of Stiles are pretty much his only happy drawings right now.
//
They don’t always talk about Lydia.
Sometimes Stiles messages Derek song lyrics he’s working on.
Other times it’s memes, or just a bunch of emojis.
Once Stiles had just messaged him what Derek could only assume was a list of everything he had eaten that day.
Sometimes Stiles messages in rambles - and Derek can’t always keep up with the boy’s run away thoughts, but even then he never feels lost the way he does when he’s trying to interact with literally anyone else.
And sometimes it’s 2AM. Those are simultaneously Derek’s favourite and least favourite texts.
//
2:02 AM Bad Poet
>sometimes I feel like too much
>and too little
>at the same time
>u ever feel like that ET?
<not really
>its like I’m infinite, and meaningless
>like a never ending echo
>or a recurring decimal
>I just stretch on and on forever but theres no point to it
>I have no depth
<youre not meaningless
<you’re a rhythm.
<like breathing
>…
>was that a regina spektor reference?
<it might have been
>I thought you didn’t listen to music?
<well someone said her lyrics were like poetry
<so I thought I would check out a few songs
>well fuck
>what did you think?
<she’s good
>you spelt ‘amazing’ wrong
<I still prefer poetry
>of course you do
Derek stared at the texts an ache filling his chest.
Derek was the opposite of infinite. Everything he touched turned to flames.
//
10:30AM Bad Poet
<my sister bought me flower seeds
>I didn’t know you had a sister?
<she’s everything I have
>oh
<and I think she’s trying to trick me into therapy somehow
>…with flower seeds?
<yes
>you sound extremely paranoid
>maybe therapy wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for you?
<shut up
>noted.
>keep me posted on how your gardening goes
>also
>as a side note
>you know you have me too right?
>if you ever need to talk or anything, I’m right here for you
<thanks
>anytime
//
On Derek’s birthday Laura insists the two of them spend the day together, and Derek knows better than to argue.
She buys him a cake and they spend hours sat next to one another silently. Two strangers desperately trying to keep hold of one another but with an ocean dividing them.
Once their family had been so alive.
And it was all Derek’s fault that was gone.
They both knew it.
Sometimes Derek wondered if Laura hated him as much as he did.
He was too scared to ask.
//
That night Derek chased the ache in his chest away with a drink.
And then several more followed.
//
1:14 AM Bad Poet
<seh haars me
>sorry bud, you’re going to have to try again
>try spell checking before hitting send
<she.hates mee
>who?
<larn
>are you drunk?
<yeh
<tyongs ndrf
*Out Going Call: Bad Poet*
The phone rings twice before being picked up. “Sorry. Stupid keyboard is so small. Impossible to type.” Derek mumbled, his words slightly muffled by his cheek being pressed into the sofa cushion.
“Wow. You’re really sloshed huh?”
“No.” Derek denied. “Just tipsy.”
“Right. So what was it you were trying to tell me? Someone hates you?”
“Laura.”
“Who’s Laura?”
“My sister.”
“Oh.”
“She looks at me like she wishes she could fix me.”
“That doesn’t sound like she hates you, bud.”
“She should. I can’t be fixed.”
“You’re right, because you’re not broken.”
Hearing Stiles say that Derek could almost believe it to be true.
“I mean it. You’re not broken. You’re just a different shape than you used to be. But the shape you are now is beautiful.”
Derek closes his eyes and lets the words wash over him. “Do you sing?” He finds himself asking.
“What?”
“I know you write songs, but do you ever sing?”
“Oh…” Stiles sounds uncomfortable. “I guess… Yeah. I do.”
Derek hummed in the back of his throat. “I bet you have a nice voice.”
“Th-thanks.”
Derek tried to say something else, but all that comes out is a yawn, which makes Stiles let out a jittery laugh.
Derek tries to memorise the sound of It, but it’s so fleeting, it’s already slipping away from him.
“I think you need to go sleep, ET.”
“Yeah.” Derek agrees.
“Goodnight bud.”
“Wait.”
“Yeah?”
“Could you stay on the phone? Just for a bit longer.” Derek clutched on to the phone like if he could grip tightly enough it would make Stiles stay.
I don’t want to be alone. The words die on Derek’s tongue.
“Sure.” Stiles didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”
“Thank you.”
Sleep pulled at Derek’s consciousness, unravelling his grip on reality.
“Stiles?”
Stiles hummed in answer.
“Your shape is beautiful too.”
A small whimper came from the other end of the phone. “Thanks.”
//
7:50 AM Bad Poet
>how are you feeling today?
<better
>good <3
Derek holds his phone tightly and wishes that he had more to say. Just to keep the conversation going.
He also wishes (not for the first time) that Stiles was more than a faceless entity on the other end of the phone.
But it’s the first time he feels the want like a physical ache in his chest.
Derek had never been good with words, but if Stiles was here in front of him Derek would probably give him a hug.
But everything Derek touches eventually dies, and a larger part of him is relieved for the distance.
//
Derek plants the seeds his sister got him that day.
//
9:48 PM Bad Poet
>would it totally weird you out if I wanted to do another phone call?
>don’t feel like you need to say yes
>I just enjoyed talking to you
>and hearing your voice
>ugh.
>why are words so hard?
<I wouldn’t be opposed to a phone call
*Incoming Call: Bad Poet*
“Hey.” Derek feels breathless as he answers the phone, anxious excitement clawing it’s way up his throat.
“Hey.” Stiles sounds equally out of breath, and that helps.
Derek chews on his lip, scrambling for something to say. “What did you want to talk about?”
“I don’t know.” Stiles admitted. “Anything.”
“Helpful.” Derek said sarcastically.
“I mean. There’s one thing. I didn’t want to ask when you were drunk because it felt a little like taking advantage. And I don’t want you to think you have to answer-”
“Stiles.” Derek interrupts before Stiles could break into a full blown ramble.
“Tell me your name.” Stiles breaks. “Please.”
Anxiety grips his heart. But… he couldn’t stay scared forever.
“It’s Derek.”
“Derek.” Stiles repeats his name in a reverent whisper, as if committing it to memory.
And hearing Stiles say his name makes everything worth it.
//
Phone calls become a regular thing between the two of them over the next month. Always between late in the evening and the early hours of the day.
//
The next time Derek spirals he doesn’t drink before he calls Stiles, but he does cry on the phone.
The next morning he wakes up to a text from Stiles.
6:42 AM Bad Poet
>you need to talk to your sister
And Derek knows he’s right.
//
It’s not easy confronting Laura. He has two separate anxiety attacks on the walk to her apartment alone.
But he forces himself to take the dive.
“It’s okay if you hate me.” He tells her, even though it’s not okay. Laura’s hate might be the only thing in the world that could break him beyond repair.
Laura looks horrified as she stares at him. “I don’t- Obviously I don’t hate you Derek.”
“It’s my fault that they’re gone.” Derek addresses the elephant in the room.
If he hadn’t fallen in love with Kate.
If he hadn’t broken up with her, just to try and prove a point when she refused to say ‘I love you’ back…
There never would have been a fire.
Their family would still be here if it wasn’t for him.
“Fuck that!” Laura let out a harsh noise. “Derek, none of this was ever your fault. You were a kid, and even if you weren’t… You never set the fire.”
“I might as well have.”
“No. If anyone… I was your big sister- am your big sister. But I was so fucking wrapped up in myself. I didn’t even know about Kate.”
The last time Derek had seen Laura cry it had been at the funeral, so it took a second to fully sink in what he was seeing.
He found himself crying to.
“I’m so sorry, Der.”
Derek stumbled forwards pulling Laura into a crushing hug. Laura hugs him back just as tight.
They spend hours refusing to let go of one another.
//
He realises he fell asleep on Laura’s sofa when he woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. But he had no idea where it was, and he was too tired to move.
He feels Laura moving and the sound of the phone ringing gets louder before cutting off abruptly.
“Hello?”
“No - Derek’s asleep.”
“Maybe call at a more reasonable time?”
“Who is this?”
“Your voice sounds familiar.”
“Right.”
“Okay. Bye.”
Derek let sleep over take him once more.
//
2:29 AM Bad Poet
>sorry for calling so late
>you’re asleep so I’ll just take to you tomorrow
//
9:07 AM Bad Poet
<sorry, I was really tried
>no worries man
>you’re allowed to have a life outside of me
<was something wrong?
>no I was just bored, and didn’t realise how late it had gotten
>im fine
>how are you?
<im good actually
<I spoke to Laura
>yeah?
>I’m proud of you
>how’d that go?
<we both cried
<a lot
<and I ended up falling asleep on her couch
>look at you, opening up and shit.
>think I might cry now
<shut up
>literally never
>better men have tried and failed to silence me
//
2:40 PM Laura
>Want to see a movie on Friday?
<sure
//
One night Stiles calls Derek just to say his name in stupid ways, and laugh himself stupid after each one.
“Duhreek.”
“Doreck.”
“Fuck. I’m getting a stitch from laughing.”
“You’re so fucking dumb.” Derek is smiling as he said it.
“Deeruk.” Stiles wheezes out.
Derek just closes hie eyes and listens.
“I’m so fucking glad I know you, Stiles.” The words fall out of Derek’s mouth without much thought.
He only realises the weight of his words when Stile’s laughter pulls to a stop.
“I uh-” Stiles stammered. “Me too. Fuck. You’re the best thing to happen to me in…so fucking long. I’m glad I know you too Derek.”
//
Derek finally admits to himself that night that he’d fallen at least a little in love with the stranger from the unknown number.
//
He keeps trying to draw Stiles, but he can’t. Vague shapes just don’t cut it anymore.
He wants to map Stiles out with his eyes and translate it onto the page.
He wants to be able to see the smile behind the laughter.
He wants.
//
1:58 AM Bad Poet
>do you think you day we’ll actually meet?
>maybe not intentionally
>maybe one day we’d pass each other in the streets and not even know
>maybe we already have
Derek couldn’t imagine a scenario where he wouldn’t notice Stiles.
<is there ever a moment when you’re not talking?
<I think id recognise your voice and know it was you
>maybe your face would make me speechless ;)
<I think id still know
<but if you want to be sure… I could send you a picture?
<of me
>dkfajd
>for reals?
>you would do that?
>you?
<well…not for free
>there’s always a catch
>what do you want?
>my soul?
>a blood debt?
>you can have whatever it is
<I meant you’d have to send me a picture too
<geez stiles
The next text takes an unnervingly long time to come through.
>I could do that
>a photo for a photo
>I kind of look like shit rn
>so no judging me
Derek spends the next two minutes fussing and fidgeting to take a good photo. No matter what angle he took it from the bags under his eyes were noticeable, and so was the week’s worth of stubble he had yet to shave off.
And maybe this was a terrible, awful, idea.
But Derek would send one hundred bad pictures if it meant getting to see one of Stiles.
He forced himself to press send on the last picture he took.
As he pressed send another photo came in.
Derek’s fingers shook as he hit the button to download the image.
His heart stopped.
Stiles was beautiful in every sense of the word, and Derek found himself unable to look away. Even when he heard the small dings of incoming messages.
But he couldn’t ignore them for long, because it was Stiles. And when ever Stiles messaged Derek had to answer.
>Fucking hell
>are you for real?
>you gave me a heart attack
>am I being catfished right now?
>when do you think you were going to tell me you’re the most fucking beautiful man to exist ever?
>how the hell to you look like that as 2AM!?
>Derek
>oh my god
>you gotta respond my dude because I’m freaking out a little bit
>still there?
>did my selfie scare you away?
>I would have tried harder for a nice photo if I knew I was talking to an adonis
>Derek?
<still here
>of thank fuck
>so…
<so?
>come on
>your going to give me a complex
>the selfie…was it okay?
>I know it’s not much
>but we can’t all be greek gods
<its beautiful
<you’re beautiful, stiles
>oh
>thanks
//
Derek is so far gone that he makes the picture of Stiles the home screen on his phone.
//
9:49 AM Bad Poet
<Laura wants me to meet her boyfriend
<this is all your fault
>how is this my fault?
<because she never wanted to introduce us before
<and then you got me to talk to my sister
<and now she wants me to meet him
>…and this is a bad thing?
<yes
>because?
<I don’t make good first impressions
<it’s going to be awkward
>yeah probably
<you’re not helpful
>I wasn’t trying to be ;)
>have fun, Derek!
//
Meeting Laura’s boyfriend wasn’t as awkward as Derek thought it was going to be. But it was strange.
Derek hadn’t been expecting to meet someone so soft and kind. He was nothing like any one that Laura had dated before.
But he also wasn’t used to seeing Laura smile as much as she did around him.
Maybe not all change was bad.
//
Derek tells Laura about Stiles by accident. Or more accurately he mentions Stiles once by accident (not even by name) and Laura had badgered him until he admitted that he had made a friend through a wrong number.
“There’s a lot of weirdos out there.”
“I know.”
God did Derek ever know.
But Stiles is different.
“Just…be careful.”
“I am being. I promise.”
Laura reluctantly lets it go after that. “So…what’s he like?”
“He’s…he’s like bad poetry.”
“Oh god. You’re in love with him aren’t you?”
Derek can’t bring himself to deny it, but he does tell Laura to shut up.
//
Derek fully embraces being in love with Stiles on the day he tells Stiles about his drawings. He’d never told anyone about them before - not even Laura. But telling Stiles had been easy.
‘It reminds me of line art’ Stiles had said when Derek had sent him a photo of the doodle he had been working on. “I love it’.
A warmth flutters through Derek’s veins.
//
It all goes sideways on the day Laura goes on Derek’s phone to check the time.
She’d raised one eyebrow at him looking amused.
“I thought you didn’t listen to music?” She said, a teasing note to her voice.
“I don’t.” Derek shrugged.
“A huh. So why do you have a picture of Stiles Stilinski as your wallpaper?” She asks.
It’s so startling to hear Stiles name coming out of Laura’s mouth that Derek’s brain refuses to function properly. “How do you know Stiles?” He asks weakly.
Laura laughs. “He’s not exactly a niche celebrity Der. He was a really famous YouTuber before he started selling albums.”
Derek doesn’t know what to say to that. He blinks as his world slowly unravels before him.
No.
She had to be wrong, because Derek couldn’t be in love with a celebrity. Stiles couldn’t be…
“Hey are you okay? You look really sick?”
“He’s famous?” His throat is dry.
“Yes? Are you okay? What’s wrong? You’ve got to speak to me Der. Use your words.”
Derek just shakes his head because he can’t.
“It’s him.” He manages to get out.
“What are you talking about?”
“Laura. It’s him.”
It takes a moment to click but Derek knows when it does because a look of thunderous wrath takes over Laura’s face.
“I’ll kill him.” She seethes, shaking with anger. “What kind of fucking punk thinks that this is a good prank to play?”
“What?”
“No one is getting away with catfishing you, Der. I’m going to hunt this fucker down, and then I’ll rip him so many new ones that he going to look like SpongeBob when I’m done with him.”
And god, Derek hadn’t even considered the thought that Stiles might not even be Stiles. The thought of Stiles being a liar…
The gape in his heart grows a little bit bigger.
And it all falls apart.
//
It takes hours before Derek can convince himself to confront Stiles.
11:08 PM Bad Poet
<you’re stiles stilinki
>fuck
(And yeah, it was really him).
>how did you find out?
<Laura
>I was going to tell you
<Were you?
>Yes
>I’ve wanted to for ages
>It just never felt like the right time to bring it up
<I wish you had decided on the right time was sooner
>Me too
>I’m sorry
>Please don’t hate me
Derek did not think it was possible for him to hate any part of Stiles.
<I don’t
>Thank fuck
>seriously
>can I call you?
<sure
Derek closed his eyes after sending the text and waited for Stiles to ring. A heartbeat later his ringtone sounded off.
“Hey.”
“You believe me right?” And Stiles sounds more frantic than Derek had ever heard him before.
“I believe you, Stiles.”
“Are you sure, because I can prove it if you want? I can do a video call? Or I can tweet literally anythi-”
“Stiles.”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t have to prove anything to me.”
Stiles lets out a small whine, that reaches through the phone line and yanks at Derek’s already tattered heart, unraveling him just a little more.
“Meet me.” Stiles said, taking Derek by surprise.
“What?”
“Please. I meant to throw a please in there, I’m just really fucking nervous right now. Meet me please. In real life. I uh- I was going to ask when I finally told you about the whole being a celebrity thing. It’s still weird to say that out loud. That’s part of why it was so hard to tell you. But the point was you beat me to the punch with the whole reveal thing, but I still wanted to ask.”
“Stiles…”
“And it’s not that I was trying to use my influence or fame to pressure you into meeting me. I just wanted to be in a space where we were one hundred per cent honest with one another before I asked you. You can still say no. Of course you can, I don’t know why I’m- my point is I hope you don’t say no.”
Derek feels his heart break in two.
“Stiles…I can’t.”
“Oh.”
He hadn’t fully realised just how many worlds apart the two of them were when he had fallen in love with Stiles. It felt even more impossible than it had before.
“I’m sorry.” The words leave him feeling hollow.
“No. Don’t apologise. This is just me getting carried away. It’s okay.”
I love you. The words never leave Derek. They can’t leave him.
There was no way this could work, and he was far too scared of breaking the tentative connection they had with his useless words.
It was better for him to just… fall out of love.
//
6:17AM Laura
<it’s really him
>are you sure
<I’m sure
>what are you going to do?
<nothing
>Derek you’re in love with him
<I’m aware
<it doesn’t matter
<it wouldn’t ever work
>I’m sorry
<don’t be
<I’m going to be fine
>Im coming over with wine
//
That night Derek fills pages and pages of his notebook with drawings of Stiles.
When he gets a message from Stiles at 11PM- for the first time since they started messaging- Derek leaves it unopened.
//
He never ignores a message again after that, and life moves on. Stiles still messages him all the time, but he never asks to call anymore.
Derek misses his voice so much that he goes onto youtube and listens to his music.
He buys all three albums Stiles released and it still doesn’t feel like enough.
//
He fills an entire notebook with doodles of Stiles.
It’s still not enough.
//
1:11 PM Bad Poet
>I wrote you a song
>I know you don’t listen to music
>but it felt weird to not a least send you a link
>bad poetry at 2:00am
The link leads Derek to a youtube video of Stiles holding a ukulele and staring with a soft smile at the camera.
“Hey guys. It’s been a while, huh? But I guess I finally found inspiration. So here we go.”
The song is beautiful, but even more beautiful than that was Stiles.
When the song reached the end Derek doesn’t hesitate to hit replay.
He listens to the song ten times before he realises he’s crying - and he knows that he’s never going to ‘get over’ Stiles because he doesn’t want to.
//
3:00 PM Laura
>have you seen the video?
<he sent me a link
<he wrote a song for me Laura
<I love him so fucking much and he wrote a song for me
>fuck
<what do I do?
>what do you want to do?
<I don’t know
>I think you should look at his twitter
<?
>I wasn’t going to say anything because you said you wanted to get over him
>but I think you need to see it
>@stilesstilinki
//
@stilesstilinski
I want to hug him
@stilesstilinski
Get you a guy that will stay up with you until 4AM talking about literally anything
@stilesstilinski
Why do I alway fall for people so far out of my league? rip me I guess.
@stilesstilinski
He makes me want to write poetry
Derek spends hours scrolling through Stiles’ twitter.
He scrolls far enough back that he gets to the part of his timeline where his twitter is littered with pictures of Lydia, which causes the ache in Derek’s chest to grow. But he can’t stop looking because Stiles looks so happy.
And Derek falls impossibly more in love.
He lets himself acknowledge for the first time that Stiles might love him back.
And everything else?
It’s worth it.
Because Stiles is worth everything to Derek.
//
2:00 AM Bad Poet
<so I looked at your twitter
>fuck.
>how much did you see?
<all of it
>tight
>please excuse me while I go die now
>bye
<don’t leave yet
<I had something I wanted to ask you
>did you want me to delete the tweets?
>I can do that
>I’ll just delete the whole account
>I am my own worst enemy so this won’t be a problem
>actually Jackson Whittemore is my worst enemy
>but I’m a close second
<stiles?
>yup?
<Will you go on a date with me?
>alkdjf
>yes?
>Ofc yes?
>are you being serious?
>because this would be a cruel prank if you’re not serious
<I’m serious
>yes.
>yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes.
>holy shit
>theres no fucking universe where I say ‘no’ to that question from you
>im so fucking in love with you
>is it too soon to say that?
>I don’t even care
>I’m speaking my truth
>you obviously don’t have to say it back
>im going to woo you so hard Derek
>you’ll have to love me back eventually
>I’m going to write you poetry
>hell I’ll even read poetry for you
>ill give the whole fucking moon to you
<why would I want the moon?
<im not gru?
>despicable me
>that was a despicable me reference.
>you don’t listen to music, but you watch despicable me?
>you’re such an enigma to me Derek
>god I love you so much
<stiles?
>too much?
<no
<I don’t think I could ever have too much of you
<I love you too stiles
<so much
<I just don’t want you to get your hopes up
<I might not be able to live up to it in real life
>impossible
<seriously stiles
>I am being serious
>I’m already in love with you Der
>you don’t have to do anything more than you’ve already done
>you could wear a potato sack, and spend the whole night not saying anything at all
>and I would still be in love with you
>all you have to do now is show up
<…I can do that
>perfect
//
TWO YEARS LATER
@stilesstilinski
Hey @JacksonWhittemore, remember when you told me I would die alone? Well I just got engaged to the love of my life. So checkmate fucker.
#sterek#eternal sterek#what am i even doing?#i just spent the last two days writing this and banging my head against the wall and nothing else#should i write this into a full fic one day?#i probably wont#hope you guys enjoy#sterek drabble#5k words of them being idiots#i cut so much out how is this still 5k?#stiles stilinki#derek hale#laura is the only other character that makes an appearance#im supposed to be sleeping#but here we are ig#texting#wrong number#celebrity stiles
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Hi! 2, 4, 6, 8, 12, 14 for Kageyama from the headcanons list?? If it's too many, just choose whichever interest you the most! Thank you! 💜
Hhhhh ty for requesting!!
I have so many ideas from Kageyama after seeing the latest few chapters all over my explore page on ig, this should be fun~
Btw just because I crave fluff and made up romantic scenarios I will be including you as a female s/o, I hope you’re fine w that bc I’m terrible at writing same sex fanfics and I feel like including you might be fun too, sorry if it’s not what you prefer, I’ll write up another one if you want!!
(You aren’t mentioned excessively though, so don’t worry!!)
Warnings: Mild manga spoilers that have to do with Kageyama’s backstory, nothing too major though, and angstangstangstangstangst-
2. How are they like on social media?
- Kageyama’s probably one that doesn’t really have that much regarding social media.
- However he would probably have the most common ones.
- Instagram, snapchat, maybe twitter too.
- He also has tiktok now that you’ve basically forced him to download it.
- Definitely uses instagram the most out of everything he has.
- Username: milkboykags
- Followers: 992 (Since he’s pretty popular through playing volleyball.)
- Following: 745 (He tries to follow most of his followers back if they have mutual friends between them, even if it’s a fan.)
- Profile pic: Probably one of those grunge shaky pics of him with a few of the Karasuno team members and you with a dark background and stuff.
- Bio: If you don’t have milk, don’t bother looking for me. ~Me, 2k19 (He hasn’t updated his bio a year lol.)
- His instagram feed is actually pretty aesthetic.
- He has one volleyball post of the entire team at the beach playing beach volleyball while the sun sets.
- He’s way too proud of that post.
- Another one of his posts was taken when you two were on an arcade date (At that time he hadn’t confessed yet, but he asked you out just to do that) and he sneaked a photo of you trying to get a unicorn plush from one of those claw machines.
- That one he’s gonna be keeping in his feed forever.
- He has a collection of highlights.
- There’s one for volleyball practice shenanigans, one for those little dates he takes you on, another one for full on group hangouts, then one of camera wars with random people that try taking photos of him, most likely you or Hinata.
- His feed basically revolves around this filter recipe he made for instagram, which makes his photos look cooler toned and more faded.
(P.s dm me if you want the recipe bc i made it on vsco lmao no I’m not a vsco girl don’t worry.)
- He doesn’t really use snapchat and twitter.
- Only does streaks with you and the volleyball team.
- Tiktok though, is a whole other story.
- Username: givemethecows
- Followers: 1405 (People from both tiktok and instagram.)
- Following: 200
- Bio: I make videos and shit.
- Profile pic: Bass boosted you like jazz meme (Bass boosted but photo if you get me.)
- Kageyama has this whole lowkey eboy thing going on with his tiktok.
- Most the time his videos are just a way to show his weird sense of humour or his sense of style that screams casual eboy.
- Since you forced him to get tiktok, you also forced him to learn dances with you.
- He’s terrible at those.
- Like very bad.
- He managed to break a pair of Tsukishima’s glasses while doing the renegade at break.
- And almost twisted his hips trying to throw it back as a joke.
- Needless to say it’s both hilarious and embarrassing for Kageyama.
- There are also tiktoks of him doing insane volleyball tricks on camera like the demon quick, the synchronised attack, and his jump serve etc.
- Which have gained him quite the following on the platform.
- In conclusion, Kageyama is generally pretty good at social media, but sucks ass at dancing.
4. What is Kageyama’s preferred weather?
- Surprisingly, Kageyama doesn’t like sunny weather. At all.
- For him, it’s the absolute worst thing.
- He think that sunny weather is way too annoying and hot and stuffy and gross.
- Plus, going out for morning runs in sunny weather is like wearing 10 jackets in hell.
- Like you can put on an extra layer if you’re cold but you can’t just strip naked if you’re hot.
- Oh my god he hates it so much it pains him to even think about it.
- He likes rainy days.
- Definitely not his favourite though.
- Rainy days usually mean staying home for the entire day.
- He can just laze around in his house, do whatever he wants.
- The sound of rain against glass windows soothes him.
- The constant sounds of droplets hitting the windows give him a sense of tranquility and peace.
- He will quite literally, fall asleep to those sounds.
- However rainy days do have their drawbacks.
- One of them, is having to stay home.
- Kageyama likes going for runs just to take in some fresh air, but that won’t work when it’s raining cats and dogs now will it.
- Plus, it means everything he does is restricted in his house unless he can get to an indoor gym that’s open.
- Boring.
- So he prefers windy days, when the cold breeze grazes his skin and the sun hides behind the fluffy clouds.
- It’s those days where he doesn’t have to suffer the heat that the sun brings upon him, nor does he have to suffer the feeling of rainwater dripping from the tips of his hair.
- He can do whatever he wants and still feel at ease and comfortable.
- Quite literally everything he asks for in a day.
6. Favourite music?
- Let’s be real, Kageyama probably isn’t good at music.
- He can’t dance or sing to save his life.
- However, he does enjoy how listening to music calms his nerves and gives him a chance to relax, even if he’s in a situation where he should be focused on an assignment or a piece of class work.
- People would expect him to enjoy listening to EDM or alternative rock, but no.
- This boy likes to listen to lofi and love songs.
- This doesn’t mean that his playlist only consists of these two genres, but the majority of songs in his playlist are either chill lofi beats or songs that give you the feels.
- Some of his favourite artists are Jeremy Zucker, Blackbear, Conan Gray, Billie Eilish, Lauv, Clairo, Wallows, Khalid, BENEE, Post Malone, Coldplay, Rex Orange County, Green Day, Shiloh Dynasty, Kina, love-sadKID, and the Arctic Monkeys.
- Has like 5 different playlists for different moods and events.
- One for moody times, one for study beats, one for when he wants throwbacks, one for firing him up before volleyball matches, and one for if he ever has to DJ in the front seat of someone’s car.
- Prefers to listen to music by himself.
- You’re an exception though.
- If he’s with you, you get one earbud, but he’ll be the one choosing the music still.
- You two have pretty contrasting tastes when it comes to music.
- He likes softer songs and lofi the most, whilst you prefer old rock and alternative rock. Oh and also a lot of throwback songs.
- I feel like Kageyama has definitely cried to a few songs when he was going through hard times.
- To him, listening to music is also a way of releasing all the inner conflict and frustrations.
- (Spoiler for backstory) When his grandfather died, he put Fix You on loop for at least 20 minutes.
- He was just numb, curled up into a ball on his bed, staring at the wall. He couldn’t feel anything. Nothing in his mind registered properly. All he could think of, was everything his grandfather had taught him, before he eventually passed away.
- Submerging himself into the melancholy song he was listening to, he didn’t even feel the tears that were now streaming down his face.
- The salty tears were now staining his pillow, creating little wet spots.
- He listened to every single lyric in the song, clutching his sheets harder every time the chorus came up.
- He punched his mattress repeatedly, still unable to accept the fact that someone he held so dear to his heart had just left like the wind.
- It wasn’t long until he was a sobbing mess, shaking and whimpering as he knelt on the bed.
- Silently sang to the lyrics, plopping back to his bed in defeat.
- His sister lingered in front of the door for five whole minutes, eventually leaving to let Kageyama sort out his feelings himself.
- You introduce a ton of new songs to him, since he doesn’t know that much about anything else other than lofi and sad songs.
- Just please no one let him listen to Nickleback. Please. He doesn’t need to know about it.
8. Movie that he would choose for a move nigh?
- The monthly Karasuno volleyball team movie night was finally here, and it was Kageyama’s turn to choose a movie this time, much to Tsukishima’s dismay.
- He’s put a lot of thought into this, not wanting to disappoint his teammates by choosing a shitty movie.
- He basically tried to figure out what everyone wanted to watch.
- However, everyone had very contrasting requests.
- Tsukishima wanted to watch Jurassic Park, Yamaguchi wanted a Disney movie, Hinata wanted something Marvel, Tanaka and Nishinoya wanted a horror movie, (Mainly so they could hit on you whilst you were still single) Sugawara wanted a romcom, Yachi wanted a comedy, and the others were fine with anything.
- He stressed himself out way too much trying to choose one movie.
- He finally got an idea after 3 entire days of thinking.
- And it wasn’t anything the team expected.
- Kageyama pulled up with Pulp Fiction.
- He’s seen that movie at least 5 times already.
- It was the perfect mix of comedy, gore, action, and philosophy.
- Plus, anything that starred Samuel L Jackson was worth a watch.
- Till this day, it remains one of his go to movies, alongside any MCU movie. (Captain America: The First Avenger is definitely his favourite though.)
12. Something small that they enjoy?
- One of the two small things Kageyama enjoys doing is baking cookies.
- Cookies in particular.
- I mean, there really is no detailed explanation.
- He’s pretty good at baking in general, even Tsukishima enjoys the cookies he bakes.
- Plus, he gets to dip the cookies in milk, what’s there not to enjoy?
- Another little thing he enjoys a lot is actually photography.
- Most the time, when he sees a pretty sky, or a city street at nighttime.
- He can’t help himself but snap a few photos here and there.
- Something about a well shot photo just hits different.
- Sometimes, he brings his camera out just to takes nice photos.
- Whenever you two are on dates, he’ll be able to capture candid or motion shots of when you’re just looking out the window of a bus mindlessly, or when you’re twirling around on the street playfully.
- Photos speak a thousand words, and honestly? He lives by that.
14. What is enough to bring him to tears?
- Support.
- Kageyama really needs support from someone he cares about.
- And no, not like support from his teammates.
- That’s different from hearing someone cheer from the stands.
- (Spoiler for backstory) Kageyama’s parents never gave much attention to him, since they were always busy with work. The only person that ever showed support for him was his grandfather, who passed away while he was still young.
- As if that wasn’t enough shit directed towards Kageyama, his teammates abandoned him during a match in junior high not long after the death of his grandfather.
- Which means that Kageyama now has lowkey abandonment issues.
- All through his volleyball journey he never got the support and reassurance he needed.
- He watched in envy as people from opposing teams, or even his own teammates, waved at their family members after they won or lost a match.
- All he could do was stare at the stands, hoping to catch just a glimpse of a family member.
- Nothing.
- Nobody realised how alone Kageyama felt during and after matches, until they watched him break down in tears after a particular match.
- It was the Spring Match against Seijoh, and Karasuno was playing like normal.
- Kageyama was insanely good as usual.
- What he didn’t notice then, was that you had dragged his sister Miwa to the match just so you both could cheer for him.
- In addition to that, you were also wearing his jersey.
- It wasn’t until the final point was scored, did he hear you and Miwa scream from the stands.
- Hearing the familiar voices, his head basically snapped in your direction, scanning the stadium for someone familiar, before landing his eyes on you and his older sister.
- His eyes widened for a hot second, his mind running in circles.
- Nobody has ever cheered for him.
- But here you two were, cheering for him from the stands.
- And you were wearing his jersey.
- A hand went up to cover his mouth, a huge grin spreading.
- One drop.
- Two drops.
- Then came the waterworks.
- The entire team was shocked.
- Like shookth.
- The two of you ran down to the arena, engulfing Kageyama in a huge hug.
- Best moment of his fucking life.
- From then on, the Karasuno team members made sure to notify you of any matches they had against other schools, hoping you and Miwa could go cheer.
- You two haven’t missed a single match since.
Whoooo three hours of work and going straight to Netflix at 2:30am, what a life.
I couldn’t resist I’m sorry casual or slight angst is my favourite genre of hc and fanfic-
I hope you liked this xx😗👉👈
#haikyuu x reader#kageyama tobio#hq kageyama#haikyuu headcanons#hq headcanons#hq x reader#kageyama x reader#haikyuu#hq#writing prompt
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weird asks?
1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?
coffee mugs
2. chocolate bars or lollipops?
chocolate bars!
3. bubblegum or cotton candy?
both?
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?
probably something along the lines of “weird, but brilliant. also really small and tiny”
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?
plastic cups
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?
ideally, grunge
7. earbuds or headphones?
headphones all the way babey
8. movies or tv shows?
not really a big fan of either
9. favorite smell in the summer?
um, like campfires and stuff
10. game you were best at in p.e.?
didn’t really have p.e. in school, but i always liked kickball and dodgeball
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?
just a spoonful of peanut butter, along with my meds
12. name of your favorite playlist?
either “h” or “oliver!”
13. lanyard or key ring?
key ring i guess
14. favorite non-chocolate candy?
smarties?
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?
hamlet, probably. if you’re looking for a novel, a prayer for owen meany.
16. most comfortable position to sit in?
the comfy one
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?
i have these shitty dad shoes (air monarchs) that i wear a lot. mostly because i keep them tied, and i often don’t feel like tying another pair of shoes when i go out. so they’re basically slip-ons
18. ideal weather?
70 degrees, mostly cloudy, maybe a light rain, or a soft breeze
19. sleeping position?
i usually sleep on my right side, but sometimes i roll over to my left
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?
depends what i’m writing, but i like notebooks and my laptop
21. obsession from childhood?
quite a few. gas stations, legos, baseball, phineas and ferb
22. role model?
not sure i have one, i look up to all of my friends in different ways
23. strange habits?
i chew on my knuckles a lot, it’s a nervous stim i’ve had since i was young. dunno if i have any others
24. favorite crystal?
um.... the pretty ones
25. first song you remember hearing?
i have no fuckin idea my guy. maybe 99 luftballons
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?
exist in an air-conditioned room
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?
put a hoodie on and go for a walk
28. five songs to describe you?
“your heart is a muscle the size of your fist” by ramshackle glory; “after you” by good morning; “dip you in honey” by the wombats; “i’m against the government” by defiance, ohio; “new loved ones” by toro y moi
29. best way to bond with you?
probably helping me out when i’m in a bad situation
30. places that you find sacred?
dunno that there are any, really
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?
karkat t-shirt, black jeans (that unfortunately don’t fit me anymore), probably some cute socks
32. top five favorite vines?
hang on i have a list. mychael with a B, this bitch empty YEET, the AA-AAA-AAAA battery one, bbq sauce on my titties, and “is that allowed?”
33. most used phrase in your phone?
i. what does that mean
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?
none, fuck capitalism
35. average time you fall asleep?
probably like 2am
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?
i. have no idea
37. suitcase or duffel bag?
suited case
38. lemonade or tea?
tea
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?
pieeee
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?
one time a teacher set a dollar bill on fire, i think. i wasn’t there. also a bat got into the bathroom once or twice
41. last person you texted?
my sweet, precious baby boy @literally-an-envelope
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?
p a n t
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?
hoodie!!!!
44. favorite scent for soap?
vaniwwa
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?
sci-fi perhaps?
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?
i usually sleep in a tshirt and pj pants
47. favorite type of cheese?
pepperjack probably. i had a dream about gouda last night, though
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?
a blackberry. idk
49. what saying or quote do you live by?
“All people are good for something. The important thing is finding what.” (Tom, MLB Power Pros 2008)
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?
fuck if i know dude
51. current stresses?
is “everything” an answer
52. favorite font?
helvetica
53. what is the current state of your hands?
slightly sweaty
54. what did you learn from your first job?
sprite with grenadine.... tasty
55. favorite fairy tale?
idk bro
56. favorite tradition?
my family usually goes to chuck e cheese on new years eve. its fun
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?
bold of you to assume i’ve overcome anything
58. four talents you’re proud of having?
writing, singing, pitching (baseball), and punting (football)
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?
y’know, like nya?
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?
slice-of-life, or a sports anime
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?
shrugs
62. seven characters you relate to?
are these all gonna be homestuck characters? probably. karkat, tavros, kanaya, dave, john/june, jade, and kankri. ok those are just my favourites but fuck you
63. five songs that would play in your club?
i’d probably have a really chill “club” that just played like, indie music from bands i like
64. favorite website from your childhood?
poptropica
65. any permanent scars?
yeah i have a few, although they’re fading and healing, idk if they will be on my skin forever.
66. favorite flower(s)?
i like tulips
67. good luck charms?
stuffed animals
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?
black liquorice
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?
fun fact! why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food
70. left or right handed?
right, but i swing left
71. least favorite pattern?
idk
72. worst subject?
like in school? physics
73. favorite weird flavor combo?
shrugs aggressively
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?
like 5
75. when did you lose your first tooth?
i have no clue
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?
probably fries
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?
shrug
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?
neither?
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?
school id, i think
80. earth tones or jewel tones?
jewel tones
81. fireflies or lightning bugs?
ain’t those the same thing
82. pc or console?
i guess i prefer console, but most of my games are on my laptop
83. writing or drawing?
writing
84. podcasts or talk radio?
podcasts, i guess?
84. barbie or polly pocket?
shrugs
85. fairy tales or mythology?
mythology?
86. cookies or cupcakes?
cookies !
87. your greatest fear?
losing my loved ones
88. your greatest wish?
am i allowed to say “to be dead”
89. who would you put before everyone else?
my fiancé, for sure
90. luckiest mistake?
i.... don’t know
91. boxes or bags?
🅱️oxen
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?
sunlight!!
93. nicknames?
yeah
94. favorite season?
spring
95. favorite app on your phone?
tumblr, or discord
96. desktop background?
something from homestuck. it’s terezi
97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?
four (mine, dad, mom, fiancé)
98. favorite historical era?
i don’t know that i have one
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Survey #269
“why aren’t you scared of me, why do you care for me, when we all fall asleep, where do we go?”
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual. What are you obsessed with right now? lol y'all know my staple stuff I'm always obsessed with, so two recent ones are Skillet (I've been binging soooo hard) and drawing again! What piercings do you want? A lot, jfc. More than any, I want collarbone dermals once I lose enough weight to where they're prominent. I've been on a goddamn weight loss plateau for two years. What’s your favorite show to binge? None. I generally don't enjoy binging too much. Do you watch porn? No, not interested. Do you have a secret sideblog? lol this survey blog. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced? No. I very briefly considered getting one pierced, but I won't. Are you angry with anyone right now? Not like... actively. But passively it's there. What tattoos do you want? I refuse to die until I'm P A I N T E D F O R T H E G O D S. Do you like paper books or ebooks better? Absolutely paperback books. It feels more "real," something to dive into, and it's easier to see and understand how far you're in. We talked about this in Writing once, was an interesting convo. Plus the smell of books, aaaaaahhhhh. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? Yes How many followers do you have? On here? *checks* 265. Do you read erotica? No, I'd feel SUPER uncomfortable. That's why 50 Shades has never appealed to me. Have you ever gotten into an accident with you parents’ car? No. Ever thought of just picking up and moving far away? Oh yes. What’s the wallpaper on your computer? My lock screen is the Halo of the Sun from SH, and my actual desktop wallpaper is my favorite closeup of my late pup Teddy. What is the last thing/person you took a picture of? Probably a stupid Facebook meme to show Sara or something lmao. Name a band/artist you like that isn’t that popular. Otep. Can you lift your significant other (your best friend if you’re single)? I'm sure I could. What is the first vehicle you recall your parents/guardians owning? Mom had a blue/greenish van for most of my childhood, while Dad had this old tan thing that he nicknamed "Frida the Cheetah" lmao. He had that damn car forever. Have you ever seen counterfeit money? Not knowingly. Have you ever lost a pet you were attached to? Well of course. I grew up with tons of pets. What was the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done? Probably texting back "fuck you" to Mom when she was being really shitty when I was having a breakdown. Pick one: laundry, dishes, or vacuuming? I'd pick vacuuming over the others any day. Have you ever moved and had to change schools growing up? No. You are forced to move out-of-state. Where do you go? I literally want to move to Canada. The highway and back roads take you to the same place; choose your route. Back roads, probably. You’re going to be a mom/dad; what do you think/do? Have a fucking panic attack. Are you more likely to give up or persist when you’re having trouble? It really depends on the seriousness of the situation, but in most cases I've actually faced, give up. Do you resemble one parent more than the other? I don't think so. Your best friend needs a kidney to survive; do you give them one of yours? If we're compatible, yes. Name a big life event that has taken place for you within the last 2 years. Nothing because my life is incredibly monotonous and stagnant. Name one difficult lesson you’ve learned. Life isn't fair, and life doesn't care. Name one thing you look forward to as you get older. Hey, let's hope I can be a functioning adult before I'm 70. Do you use your hands when you talk to emphasize what you are saying? Yes. Will you usually admit it when you’ve made a mistake? Yeah. Does stress ever affect you physically? If yes, how? Oh, yes. My stomach will absolutely hurt and I sweat more than normal (I say "normal" because I have hyperhidrosis). Did you have a money box as a kid? What shape was it if you did? I don't remember... I know we didn't regularly get an allowance or anything like that, but maybe I'm sure I stored money I was given somewhere? Has kids TV ever frightened you? As a kid, I both watched and feared Courage the Cowardly Dog, lol. Do you have any potted plants in your house? No. If you were born outside of your era, when would you want to be born and why? Early '80s! What a time for music, metal fashion, and fun. If you ran a store, what would you sell/have? IF I was more knowledgeable on more species, probably reptiles and more proper care materials and give advice that's not shit. Places like PetSmart and Petco just... disgust me. What part in a movie would you love to play? If I was confident in acting, probably the maniac lmao. I've experienced enough Crazy for that. What's the oldest article of clothing you own? I don't really know, but I do know Mom has a lot of my and my siblings' shirts as we've grown up to knit together a blanket one day. Fuckin cute as hell. What piece of furniture have you replaced the most? The couch. What instrument do you wish you could be more than great at? Guitar, with that electric twist anyway. What’s the best part of your favorite movie? When Simba roars atop Pride Rock in the storm and all the lionesses join in FUCK I get goosebumps out the WAZOO. What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever? Twizzlers, disgoosting. If you could only debate two topics the rest of your life, what would they be? LGBTQ+ rights is #1, then... hm... probably the pro-choice argument. Or just women rights in general. Out of your friends, who would you say you are most jealous of, artistically? Oh man, my friend Mini. She drew pretty well when we were young, but her skill like... increased exponentially with time. She doesn't draw in a *style* I'm envious of, but that growth tho. Most jealous of….intellectually? Girt. What is broken that you have, that you wish was fixed? My brain lmao. A famous person you have met? Nobody. Who were the last five people to text you? Dad, Sara, Ashley, Mom, and my grandma. What is your favorite book that you had to read for school? The Outsiders. Think of the last two people you kissed. Who was more fun? I've explained the "idk if *I* ever actually kissed Girt" before, but just for the sake of the question, I'll just count him. I tbh hated it only ever because why were your lips always wet, sir???? The latest person was Sara, and she kissed fine. If your house was burning down and you only had sixty seconds to grab one or two things, what would you grab and why? Roman and Venus because they're family and I adore them. Out of all the concerts you have been to, which band/singer was the best performer? Alice was great! When was the last time you went miniature golfing? For Jason's and my second or third anniversary, so a long time ago. What’s a song you like from a genre you hate? I always answer this question with a country answer, so let's go rap. Hm. OH, probably a Post Malone song. I actually don't mind him. If you had twin girls what would you name them? Alessandra indisputably, and then the other... maybe like, Josephine. Especially as twins, I'd want two gorgeous, less-heard names. What kind of condoms do you use? I don't use any because I'm not sexually active. Do you say years young or years old [ex: 16 years young or 16 years old]? Man, I miss the days I could confidently say "years young," lmao. Do you have any personality disorders? Avoidant, yes. I'm pretty convinced I have dependent PD, too. Do you shave your arms? Armpits, yes, but not my entire arms. What do you dip your fries in? Ketchup or honey mustard. Has one of your good friends ever moved away? Damn, yeah. I particularly remember this girl from elementary school in I think the 5th grade that I was very close with, yet I don't remember her name now. What color car are you when you play The Game of Life? Dude idr the colors at all. Which hair color do you find the ugliest? I've seen it be pulled off, but generally, yellow. Would you date a guy that wears more make-up than you do? Hell yeah man you fuckin strut that shit. Did you ever play M.A.S.H. when you were little? Ah, I remember that! Sure did. If you were getting married, who would be your maid of honor? My mom. If you have any pets, were they adopted from the humane society? No, but I would of course. Do you like home design, like picking out paint colors and furniture? Not any more than the average person. Do you chew gum on a regular basis? No. List all of your features that you have ever got compliments on: Do you mean just physical? If that's the case, hair, eyes, smile, uh... I feel like that's it. WAIT I can't remember who but someone once called my nose cute. Have you ever been in a hot air balloon, and if not, would you ever want to go in one? No; yes. What type of computer do you have? It's an Acer Nitro 5. Is anyone else in the room with you right now? My snake. Do you whiten your teeth with crest white strips? Not Crest, but a different brand, yes. I hate my teeth. Do you listen to local bands? Not really. I will sometimes listen to an old friend's band, at least bits of what they post on Facebook. Nova Mortis, check 'em out if you like pretty heavy metal. Do you have a pool in your back yard? No, but damn do I wish. Do your parents fight? Do they even talk at all? That's why they're divorced. They, especially Mom, avoid doing so whenever they can. Do you drink alcohol on New Year’s Eve? Usually. Do you wear rings? Just one, a friendship ring w/ Sara. Are there any restaurants in walking distance to your house? It'd be quite a long walk, at least by my standards. What was the last picture you uploaded to your Facebook? A picture of Mom and me. Have you ever listened to the same song on repeat for hours on end? YES. When I find a song I really like, I become VERY obsessive. Like I will play it and play it and play it for days. I in general have an extremely obsessive personality. Do you like staying in hotels? I don't have much of an opinion. It's a nice change of space, though. Are musicals interesting or boring? They're cheesy to me. What is your favorite scent of incense? (If you burn it) Okay, HEAR ME OUT. There is legit a kind called "monkey farts" that smells SO FUCKIN GOOD. Jason used to burn incense in his room all the time and that was my favorite one, so I use it now. Where do you normally hang out on the weekends? At home. I'm always at home, regardless of the day. Can you tune a guitar by ear or do you need a tuner? I never could. Do you like love songs? Generally, yes. They're sweet. Would you rather drink 7Up or Sprite? Fun fact: Sprite used to be my FAVORITE soda as a kid. I even had a fuckin Sprite shirt. Now, I hate it. I haven't tasted 7UP in forever. What is your favorite song as of right now? I'm seriously digging Halocene lately, esp their cover of "bury a friend." Have you ever sex texted? This is gonna sound so stupid, but I'm actually not *totally* sure what that is? Just like, dirty talking or like, virtually RPing sex? The former I did when I was fuckin 12 like a goddamn idiot, but not the latter. When's the last time you went out of state? A year and a half (I think?) ago to visit Sara. What was your favorite TV show last year? I didn't *really* have one, at least not actively. Like I didn't devoutly watch anything. Would you know who to talk to if you wanted weed? HAHA I sureeeee do. I wouldn't want any, though. What is your favorite Beatles song? "Hey, Jude." If you could kiss anyone right now, who would it be? I don't want to think about this. What is your favorite energy drink? I don't like energy drinks. Way too intense. Have you ever been to Hooters before? No. When's the last time you tripped? (Literally or, you know) HA, funny I take this survey today because my left foot is either broken or I seriously tore a ligament in it because I fell yesterday. I had to go up a dose on my medication that helps my nightmares, but it's notoriously for lowering your blood pressure, and mine is naturally low. I got up to go to the bathroom and grab breakfast and many times nearly passed out from being so dizzy until I finally fell and my foot bent forward. I couldn't even walk by myself yesterday and am still really struggling today. Our family friend brought the boot she wore when she broke her foot over just a while ago, but if this doesn't help, Mom's demanding I go to the ER. Can you touch your toes? I don't know HOW I can, but I can, I guess from when I did yoga daily and I could pretty much go under my feet. What would you say is the best feeling in the world? Being in love and knowing they're in love with you, too. Have you ever “spoken” to any celebrities via Twitter? No. Do you like croissants? YESSSSSSSSSSS. Do you get a lot of traffic outside your house or not? Yes. Mom explained to me why one day because I'd asked, but idr what she said. Do you eat cereal bars? No, I'm a granola bar person. Would you consider yourself healthy? Uh no. Assuming you could speak and understand the language, would you ever study in a foreign, non-English speaking country? Sure, for like a year or so! Doing that in Germany would be amazing. Are you on any prescribed medication? A lot. Do you know any immigrants? I know an illegal one that got deported. I probably know others. Have you ever lived in university or college accommodation before? No. If you haven’t already, are you scared of leaving home? If you have, do you like it? Very scared. I'm just very dependent and ignorant on how to be an adult. If you could only eat one vegetable for a year (not including potatoes) what would it be? Broccoli. Do you have a certain routine in the bath or shower? What is it? Shave, shampoo, facial scrub, this exfoliating brush for your feet, and then body wash. Is there anything that you loved a year ago but just can’t stand now? Hm. I don't really know. What’s the weirdest meat you’ve ever eaten? I took the SMALLEST bite out of it because I couldn't stomach eating it, but after a lot of convincing I tried a microscopic bit out of deer jerky. If you smoke, what brand of cigarettes do you smoke? If you don’t, have you ever tried? Don't smoke and don't want to. Do you like dried fruit at all? what’s your favorite type? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
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