#madd negativity

[kitkat-dreams]

I don't really want to talk about my daydreams anyway but GOD it sucks so bad to know that even if I did, I'd absolutely be disliked by a lot of people.

"You think about THAT kind of stuff?? 😧"

YEAH. VERY HAPPY TO KNOW MOST PEOPLE HATE THE PART OF ME CLOSEST TO MY CORE. GREAT TALK.

[sillycyan]

"Ermmm guys am I just figuring this out or has me imagining scenarios to fall asleep been maladaptive daydreaming all this time?!?"

YOU GUYS ARE GETTING SLEEP?

[acircusfullofdemons]

might private @/fractured-fables or just stop posting in it & talking about it on here occasionally. despite my best efforts fandom ppl keep finding it & I feel like it has to be "good" aka follow the source as closely as possible which obviously isn't how my brain operates. Idk. I just feel like every post I make on there is gonna have someone say "thats not right, change it". especially bc its classic lit & fairytales, which have many versions/interpretations and widely accepted facts that are actually misinfo about them. if feels like I gotta get everything Right Or Else.

@/madasacrow doesn't have this problem because ive changed the names so on the surface it just looks like a comicverse inspired thing which yeah technically it is. Idk it just isn't as obvious what the sources are or unlike ff I don't have to say certain names bc thats how the Tale is so it might show up in tags accidentally.

[justaboymadeofhoneyandglass]

fuckk you guyss

I think i like sprained my elbow muscle or some shit cus it hurts when I move ittt

and i think ik whyyyy

So in my room I have like my pacing route for my daydreams, right? we'll at the end of the route I push against one of the wood thingies in my room to turn around without losing speed

and i slipped like the day before yesterday and since then my arms been hurtingggg

fuck this shittt

[fallingmaddlyinlove]

this omg. i genuinely become so afraid of real people and connections. i think i'm okay with relationships and impulsively jump into situations, then i realize that i'm not prepared at all. nothing in real life will ever be like it is in my head, and it sucks.

scared i’ll never be able to have an actual romantic relationship because of how stuck i am in another reality

[dizzociating]

creating imaginary people to fill the void of not having enough significant and meaningful real life relationships. i'm sure this won't have any lasting ramifications.

[infiniteorangethethird]

Do you know what is something that really, really fucking hurts as a MaDDer?

My longest standing/main paracosm is reaching its 10th anniversary today. I've been mentally preparing myself for this for a while now, choosing to celebrate by building up for one of the biggest climaxes in the story of said paracosm. Both these internal events, and the fact that it's been 10 (ten!!!) years, they mean a lot to me.

And there is absolutely no one I can share this excitement with.

I have no idea how to properly convey just how important all of this is to me. These people I've created in my head, who have been with me for years, whose internal struggles and emotions I'm more familiar with than my own. These stories, these worlds, that are so indescribably large it takes near a minute for the doc containing said description to just load. And all the emotions they spark, good or bad, so vivid that sometimes they feel more real than my emotions towards the real world.

To most people, daydreams are just "random ideas to toy around with for a few minutes to ease boredom", I suppose. Some people don't even daydream. To most people, the idea that your daydreams can be a part of a consistent, coherent internal world, one that holds significance to you - it is unimaginable. Foolish.

And even if they did try to understand, how the hell could I even convey the impact of what is happening internally? How could I just go "oh hey one of my oldest paras just killed one of the most powerful gods for the first time since existence began" in a way that it makes sense? How could I let them know just how deeply all of this affects me, how could I share these grandiose emotions I'm feeling?

I dunno. I guess I just really wish there was someone out there who understood - not just related, but with whom I could share, whose reaction would be more than just "oh that's cool I suppose"

[kkujo]

something i don't see people talking about is the way hyperfixations come in like stages and cycles like it's not just "i'm obsessed with this thing" it's like. euphoria from finding something new and it brings you so much joy and then as that initial dopamine rush wears off you start to get more and more down and feel isolated as you start to realise that no one else cares about it as much as you do and you feel silly for being so into it and the thoughts become repetitive and boring so you get more and more depressed and lonely and then you inevitably lose the hyperfix which leaves you drifting feeling miserable and hopeless until you start the cycle again. idk if i explained this well or if other people will understand but it brings genuine phases of euphoria and straight up depression and this is why i get annoyed when neurotypicals use words like hyperfixation to describe like, an interest. bc it's not. just an interest it becomes who you are and when you lose it it's like losing yourself and you spend so much energy thinking about it that it interrupts your daily life and it's so fucking draining 👍

[lesbiansandco]

madd making it impossible to get anything done today 😭😭

im not even listening to my daydreaming playlist! its just my liked songs on shuffle

bro lemme get stuff doneeee

[homemadde-nightmares]

Felt good for going straight to bed without daydreaming before bed last night.

On a completely unrelated note I feel awful today :)

[rainbowgothdisaster]

just so you know i fucking hate reality shifting :)

a lot of the ppl who promote it dont know what theyre talking about :)

it WILL cause maladaptive daydreaming disorder which is a "fun" kind of hell, and if ur one of the ppl that gets real into it actually existing and actually being a separate reality you are actively promoting delusions and psychosis fucking sucks and fuck you

[kitkat-dreams]

Does anyone else have to ban themselves from consuming disaster/horror/generally fucked up situations in media because your brain goes "okay but what if that was you" and then the following daydream is so vivid its 30 minutes later and you didn't realize youre crying

[sillycyan]

Hate maladaptive daydreaming so much.. I went to take a break so I lay down and my mind just poof “woah think about how sad and depressed you’d get if your headphones that are over 400 dollars broke!! wouldn’t that be so sad? so sad? be sad. be sad now.” so then I started crying bc if my headphones did break it genuinely would be the end of the world I don’t care that’s just how I feel and thennn I was like what the fuck am I fr crying about this so I tried to locked in with music that was I was already playing but I really couldn’t and then I kinda closed my eyes n shit and then I started thinking abt a really really bad thing that happen and how that fucked me up really bad and now I’m just here..

[acircusfullofdemons]

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[justaboymadeofhoneyandglass]

I feel really lonely right now. like, I started developing the language that's kinda been swimming around and popping up in daydreams with single words or phrases but I'm not at a speaking stage yet.

So now I'm just realising that this will, just like my daydreams, forever just be for me. I can't teach anyone else this language, I can't tell anyone about it, I'll only ever be the only person who speaks it

and my paras, once I'm at a speaking level, will also be at one and i just there's something just so wrong about the idea that I will at some point speak a language that only exists in my head.

I'm also scared I'll start speaking out loud during my daydreams in théro (the language) and get looked at weird because it's not a real language

and i also just feel insane for making up a language to talk to the characters in my head with.

[ketersilly]

sometimes i worry that i'm not actually plural and that it's just my MaDD or my imagination making stuff up, but i've come to respond to these worries with "does it matter if it is just my imagination going haywire, it's not harming me and it makes me happy so why should i worry if i'm 'actually' plural?"

because yeah. it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter if what i'm actually experiencing is just my MaDD or my imagination, because it makes me happy and it's not negatively affecting me. in general i hate the rhetoric of "you have to investigate why you think you're plural and see if you actually are (by my standards)" because like. i dont give a fuck!! my experiences feel plural, so im plural, even if it could possibly be caused by MaDD or just my very active imagination.

and i don't care why anyone else identifies as plural either! as long as identifying as such isn't harming the person who does (and i feel like that's very very rare), then why does it matter! (and even if it is somehow harming the person, then it's not really your business regardless unless they bring it up with you)