#my guy tommy just being so unaware what is going on

[evansbuck-ley]

wdym this didn’t happen

[josephquinnswhore]

Red Wine & Reparation - joel miller x female reader

Summary: you and Joel became young parents, married young and divorced young.. coparenting can be hard.. especially when you still love each other.

Word Count: 7k

Content Warnings: no outbreak, awkward divorced young couple, Joel Miller being a cat guy, flirting, awkwardness, slight implication of attempted SA. Unprotected sex, oral—female receiving, praise, pet names, tongue fucking, slight submissive Joel???? Creampie, mentions of pregnancy, and breastfeeding kink ??

Note: in this fic female reader & Joel are the same age in this fic!! This is my contribution for this week lol.

You were expecting a visit from Joel in a few hours; although you’d tried to be in contact with him, it seemed he was struggling to get back to you. Texts gone unanswered, calls sent straight to voicemail. It was unusual, and as clingy as you felt, it wasn't like Joel not to be in contact, especially when it came to your daughter, Sarah.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

He calls your name from the other side of the door. “Hey, you home?”

The door swings open and Joel stands on the other side of the door, you can't ignore the subsequent look of franticness in his brown eyes. “Hey.” His second greeting is a little more relaxed, if anything a little bashful. The tips of his ears are red under his dark brown curls.

“I just got a new phone, had a little malfunction at work with the other one, mind putting your number in?” You take the new phone, something that seemed way too fancy for Joel, an Iphone 13. As if your eyebrows raise of their own accord, it doesn't go unnoticed by him.

“I never took you for a man that cared about keeping up with the trends.” Your remark earns a scoff. “I just want to be able to keep up with everything Sarah’s into these days, all the facebooking and snapping or whatever she's got.”

His social unawareness pulls a laugh from her dry throat. “I'm surprised she wants you on her snapchat, teenage girls don’t normally want their parents seeing what they’re up to.”

He grunts. “How are you anyway—both of you.. I mean.”

“Things have been okay, I've taken a step back from work to try and relax a bit more, you know?” Although Joel nods, he can't relate, he’d just gone through the ringer of starting his own business with Tommy.

But Joel knows you need a break, he notices the physical telltale signs of stress. Lines beside your eyes that didn't seem visible a few months ago, the slight strain in yout voice and even your physical stance seems off. You seem to be trying to mask it, but he notices.

“Everything at work alright? They givin’ you trouble again?”

Again. How you'd forgotten about the last time you confided about how bad work had been getting. The unpaid overtime and extensive workload. Joel seemed furious at the thought of you wearing yourself thin and had even rung your workplace, that's an incident that got you a written warning.

In an attempt to dismiss his worries you wave your hand. “Ah it's not so bad, I’ve taken some time off with what little annual leave I have.”

“That’s good. You work too hard, you do.” His voice is softer than it had been a moment ago, his gaze settling on your own. He tries his hardest to suppress the memories as he stares into your eyes, he tries to forget how easy things were back then in comparison to now.

You break eye contact as you feel your kitten rubbing herself up against your legs. The little creature lets out a small mew.

Joel’s shock is evident on his face, the fluffy white bundle of fur rubs itself along your pant leg, its tiny mews echoing in his ears. “Oh my god, what in the world..” He stammers. “Is that…?”

Your entire face heats up. “I know.. I've never been a fan of cats but.. She's cute right?”

Joel can't help the instinctual reaction to kneel down onto the floor to get a closer look at the fluffy bundle of fur. He lets the small creature sniff his hand before petting her. With every stroke of his fingers along her pointed ears, she purrs louder. “What's her name?”

“Her names angel. Sarah named her.”

“Of course she would,” Joel murmurs, still petting the kitten as he looks up at you from the floor. “How'd you end up with a kitten anyhow?”

You huff at the memory. “Found her on the side of the road, I think someone dumped her.”

“God, that’s terrible. Why would anyone do something like that? Who just dumped a living animal in the middle of the road?” He shakes his head as he grumbles angrily. He strokes the kitten in a softer manner, expressing his sympathy for the little animal.

You're stewing in your own irritation at the thought. “Some jackass.”

The conversation seems to grow quiet, with the only noise being the kitten’s contented purrs. “She's a lucky kitty is what she is, havin’ two special girls lookin’ after her.” He murmurs, leaning in to tickle the small kitten under the chin with a chuckle.

“I never took you for a cat man, hell—you're looking like such a softie right now,” you tease.

“It's the one thing you never really knew then, right?” The kitten rolls on its back, purring as it scratches itself on the soft creamy carpet. “I bet you would’ve known all my soft spots had things been different back then.”

A sombre mood falls between the two. “Maybe so..”

Joel turns away with a regretful look in his eyes, it's a painful truth, and one the pair had both seemed to accept. Despite the way the two had seemed to adapt to the co-parenting situation.. They're both reminded every single day since their split of what could have been.

“Yeah.. maybe so.” He lets out a sigh, watching as the small kitten runs off, and he's left kneeling on the floor as he watches after it. He doesn't really know what to say.. And he's not sure you do either, it’s awkward to have these quiet moments between them.

“You know.. Sarah told me you went on a date last week.” You try to sound as encouraging as possible, but even as your heart cracks, it seems to break the silence brewing between you. And honestly, you’re nosey.

His face seems to redden at your playful accusation. “Damn.. she really has no filter, does she?” An awkward chuckle follows as he lets out a small groan and his knees crack as he stands up off the floor. As his gaze meets your own again, he wonders how you'll take the news. If he’s lucky, you’ll be jealous.

“She's a smart kid.. observant.” A small moment of silence briefs the conversation before you can stop yourself from asking.. “How was it? The date I mean.”

“That she is..” Joel murmurs before adding reluctantly. “The date was just.. Not a good fit. It didn't go well.” He shrugs, but you knew it would've been a massive blow to his self esteem. “I don't know why I tried… just thought.. maybe..” He rubs the back of his head and chuckles anxiously as he trails off.

It seems his self esteem did take quite the blow.

“Don't be so hard on yourself now, you're a catch, and any good woman will see that.”

Joel’s eyes narrow into a frown. “I'm hardly a catch.. Let's be real, I work too much.” He pauses. “Maybe I'm still caught up on..” He catches himself before he admits it..

Your ears perk at this. “Who doesn't love a hardworking man.” You tease lightly.

He manages a smile at your teasing. “I’m not a catch.. this..” He gestures to himself pitifully. “Is not a catch. Truth be told I’m.. I'm still pretty caught up on you and I'm not even ashamed to say it.”

“Hell—why?” Is all you manage to ask in a stutter.

“Because..” He lets out a frustrated noise and scratches his head anxiously. “Because I should have fought for you, I should have tried harder. You were everything I wanted. Still are.. Honestly.” His tone takes a solemn tone. “That doesn't just go away, all of those feelings.”

“You're right.. They don't just go away.” Your agreement to his statement has him wondering, his eyes searching your face for any sliver of teasing.

“So.. what does that mean? If I was to say.. If I was to ask something stupid.. Would you be angry?”

You're a little confused by his sudden bashfulness. “That depends on what you're asking.”

“Hypothetically..” He starts. “If I were to ask you out on a date, for old times sake..” He trails off and doesnt look back at you, there's a pregnant silence between you both..

“You want to take me on a date?” You ask in confusion.

He clears his throat and looks up to you, his eyes shifting around the room. “Is that a stupid question?”

“Well.. how about you ask me on a real date and maybe… I’ll say yes..”

His head spins in a daze, his heart doubles in size as he realises how much he wants this. “...are you serious?”

You simply nod, waiting for him to ask you on a date properly.

He's nervous, shifting from foot to foot, as if this was the hardest thing he's ever had to ask. “Okay then..” He mumbles to himself, clearing his throat, trying to steady his voice. “Would you care to.. Join me for a dinner date.. at my place?”

He actually asked..

“I would be happy to join you for dinner, Joel.”

It seems as if he's having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that you actually accepted. Even though it's what he wanted, needed.. He had somehow still expected you to decline. The look in your eye contractics his anxiety, though.

“You sure?” He asked, insecurity evident in his shallow voice. “I mean, you still remember how much I work, right? I have to finish this job for a client, he's on my ass about it, keeps asking me when I'm gonna be finished, but I told him I'm on track. Gonna put in some big hours to get this done.”

How could you forget, it was the reason you split all those years ago. His work was all consuming.

Your heart aches at his attempt to push you away–to take your pending rejection on the chin. “How about you let me know when you're free and you can cook for me, hm?”

The offer was flexible, giving him a chance to relieve himself of the pressure and try to find a day that works for you both.

Joel seemed to appreciate the offer, and his face visibly relaxed. “That sounds perfect, as soon as this project is done, and this client is off my ass, then we’ll figure out our date.”

“Sounds great, just send me a text and let me know, yeah?” You smile and tuck your phone into your jean pocket.

“Count on it.” He spoke with such promise it was hard not to get excited about what was to come.. Maybe they could rekindle what they once had. “I'll talk to you later then?” He takes a step towards the front door, his phone rings loudly, you assume it's a client of his.

“Yeah, we’ll talk later..”

As you close the door, it takes a moment to process what had just happened. A stupidly big smile resides on your lips, giddy with excitement, the disbelief that this is happening. Joel doesn’t text till late, but you’re ecstatic that he did get into contact about something other than who has custody of Sarah for the weekend.

Joel Miller 😉 10:45 pm

Hey, I'm sorry it's late, I just wanted to catch up. How's this weekend sound to you? For our date..

You. 10:47 pm

No sweat. What time were you thinking?

Joel Miller 😉 10:50 pm

Hoping to see you around 7. I'll cook dinner and we can just hang out. Unless you wanted to do something else?

You. 10:52 pm

No. it sounds perfect. 7 works for me.

Joel Miller 😉 10:53 pm

Great.. See you at 7 then.. Saturday..

You. 10:53 pm

Great! See you then handsome. 😉

Joel Miller 😉 10:58 pm

See you, beautiful. 😜😏😊

You can't help but laugh at the emojis Joel sent; he was such an old man that didn't understand a damn thing about technology, sure he was trying, but it seemed to get the better of him.

The week is slow and miserable, with your time off work and Sarah at school, you're not sure what to do with yourself for many hours of the days that slowly pass on by. You spend a lot of time reading your books that had sat and collected many layers of dust on the bookshelf in your living room, even taking your little kitten, angel, for walks on a small leash.

You find that as you become moderately okay with being alone, and in the company of naught but a small kitten, time seems to pass by much quicker than it did.

You'd been doting on what you'd wear all week–hell, you were still trying not to think too much about it. Choosing a simple lavender sundress, it was far too hot to wear anything that would stick to your skin. And whatever sin you’ve commited by wearing matching lavender lingerie is no one's business but your own.. Joel wouldn't know anyway.

It couldn't hurt to hope, right? It had been years since you been laid.

“God what the hell is wrong with me?” You murmur to yourself, one hand desperately clutching onto a bottle of red wine, as if you couldn't make it any more awkward. It's 6:50 pm. But you couldn't bare to sit across the damned street in your car a moment longer, your heart ager and anxiety running wild.

Knock, knock. Your hand raps on the hardwood door twice, hands shaking from being so anxious.

As the door opens, Joel grins. “Hey.. you're early.” Taking in his appearance, you can't help but swallow the saliva that had built up in the few seconds you’d spent greedily staring at him. Hell— it was only a brown cotton shirt and a pair of jeans, but he looked incredible.

“I know.. I hope that's okay.” His own eyes take a moment to appreciate your outfit, the perfectly fitting seam of lavender purple that fits snug around your breasts.

“Totally fine, I’m ready in here.. I made you something special.” The grin on his face is cheeky and he takes the bottle of wine from your trembling hands and opens the door wider for you to enter. “Come on in.”

He has absolutely outdone himself, it seemed Joel had managed to clean the entire house in the week coming up to this evening. The house is cleaner than it's ever been, his kitchen is full of colour of fruits and a wonderful aroma swirls around as you walk through the hallway. The counter is a little cluttered with spices and a half drunken can of beer.

“You've absolutely outdone yourself joel.” The compliment seemed to naturally expel from your lips, seeing how he had set the dining table up, in the middle was a simple summer salad and two wine glasses, as if he knew you'd be bringing the wine..

“I would be a terrible host if I didn't have something special in store for you..” As he trails off, the sound of a timer from the kitchen buzzes, and Joel rubs his hands together. “Here, why won't you take a seat?” He pulls the chair out, waiting for you to take the offer, of course you accept, taking a seat and he tucks your chair in.

“Be back in a moment with the food, make yourself comfortable.” The smell is absolutely incredible as Joel steps back out of the kitchen and sets a steaming pan of hot pasta right in front of you, sitting on the seat across from you.

“Jesus, how in the world? I remember all those years ago you couldn't even seem to grasp the concept of avocado toast.”

Joel laughs halfheartedly at your comment. “I wasn't much of a cook back then was I? Always relying on you to use your magic in the kitchen.” He grasps the wine and opens the bottle, pouring you a generous glass. “The fact that you remember that is pretty impressive though. That had to be what.. five or six years ago?”

You can't help but feel embarrassed to be caught out. “I guess I have a knack for remembering things, god.. Sarah would have been barely five back then..”

When you split..

Joel senses the tension in your voice, and serves himself some wine, taking a small sip. “Yeah, she was pretty young back then. It seems like only yesterday that she was a baby..” He takes a small pause as he reminisces. “I always liked when you carried her around in that sling you had for her. Never really understood why you didn't just use a pram..the sling seemed like much more work.”

You let out a small laugh. “I just liked having her close to me, and I hated those goddamn prams so much. I could never figure out how to use the stupid things.”

“Yeah, they were kinda bulky.. I never liked them much either, honestly. Still.. You'd spend like an hour just letting her nap on your chest, you would just carry her around the house.” He lifts the wine glass, his cheeks bare a resemblance to the dark red wine. “I always thought it was kinda adorable.”

The thought makes you stop and think, lifting the glass up to your lips to take a tentative sip. “Do you ever wish we could have a do over?”

He swallows the small amount of wine in his mouth, the smile that was on his face slowly fades. He never thought they would ever speak of this, of their past. He held a lot of guilt, that they fell apart because of him, he was the one who ruined a good thing. Now.. six years later, he had a chance to mend things, maybe even create something new between the two. “Every day.”

The silence hangs in the air between them for a few moments.. “Well.. either way. Sarah turned out wonderful, and that is something we both ought to be proud of.” Your hand meets his own for a brief moment.

Joel can't help but nod in agreement. Sarah was kind, intelligent, thoughtful and empathetic. He couldn't help but feel like Sarah was turning out more like you than him, and he was grateful for it. “But still, I can't help but want.. I don't want a do-over. What we had was good until I screwed it up, I just wish there was some way I could make up for that.”

“Hey—come on now.. You were working overtime back then..trying to keep our heads above water. I didn't.. I didn't understand the sacrifice you were making for our family back then.. You sacrificed a lot, joel..”

Joel looks up at you in surprise when you assure him of his goodwill. In a sense, he's grateful you're defending him, but you’ve always been too kind about the past, too forgiving, he doesn't know if he deserves it. “Yeah I was working a tonne of overtime.. I was trying to save up for a house, I wanted to take care of you both.. Guess it got out of hand.”

You can't help but feel a sense of nostalgia as you look around the house that you both raised Sarah in for the first five years of her life.. “You did it Joel, you got the house and.. Now you're starting up your own business. You've come a long way.”

“Sometimes I wonder if it was all worth it, I missed out on a lot of Sarah's younger years in the process… it's not time that I can get back.. and I know it was my own doing.”

“That was your sacrifice.. And it was so she could have a good childhood. That in itself makes you an incredible father. She knows what you did for us, for her, and she loves you.”

Joel knew that much was true, he concedes this as the truth. He couldn't deny that he had an incredible relationship with his daughter. There were many things joel regretted in his life and from the past, but he couldn't recall a single moment of regret when it came to how he chose to raise Sarah.

“I think we're well overdue for some more wine, wouldn't you say?” You grin, nodding toward the bottle, and with a small smirk, Joel complies, filling your glass half full and his own the same.

“That may be true,” he replies playfully. “But I'm still gonna need you to take it easy. I'm not prepared for what you'll be like once you're tipsy.”

“I'll be on my best behaviour.” You grin, almost too mischievously.

“I'm not believing that for a single second. I know you.. as soon as the wine hits, you’re gonna lose your inhibitions and start trying to charm me.”

Rolling your eyes is an appropriate response. “As if I need to try to charm you, Joel Miller.”

“See?” He chuckles, “even now, you're flirting with me.”

You are amused by his tone and can't help but be a smartass. “Hey—this is a date.. Isn't it?”

With genuine amusement in his tone, he laughs. “Well, I suppose it is. But you can't deny that if I keep pouring you this wine, you wont end up in my lap within the half hour?”

“Pour me another glass and find out.” You challenge, setting the now empty glass in front of him.

He raises an eyebrow, but pours you a third glass of wine, handing the glass back to you. “Here you go.” He wonders if he'll be right in his prediction.

You hold the glass up and take a sip, eyes closing momentarily as the warmth slides straight down to your stomach. Silently thanking him.

Joel leans back into his chair, after topping up his own glass that wasn't quite empty yet, watching you with a brightness in his eyes. “You know, even though we haven't been an actual couple in half a decade, it's still nice to be having one of these again.. as strange as that sounds.”

With a raised eyebrow and amusement in your tone. “I dont think its strange at all, I think it's wonderful.”

He hums in response, finally digging into the pasta that had been sitting there since he served it steaming hot off the stove, you follow in tow, deciding that your stomach has somehow made room for the deliciously smelling creamy pasta. You can't help but groan in delight as you chew the creamy pasta. “Fucking delicious.” You mutter.

As the two of you decide to eat, Joel notes that you’re out of wine… “I'll get another bottle.” You insist, seeing that he's digging into his dinner.

You know your way around the kitchen you'd spent years living in, reaching upward for the wine cupboard, it seems you can't quite reach, whispering to yourself.. “Goddamnit.” You don’t realise you’ve been staring at the cupboard for a few minutes until you hear him.

“Having some trouble?” You don't have the nerve to turn around at how husky his voice sounds. He decided to take advantage of the fact that he had disarmed you with his voice alone, and slips up behind you, his chest flush against your back. He doesn't bother to help you reach the wine, instead he wraps his arms around your waist.

You can't help but lean backwards into him, closing your eyes as you lean your head backward into his shoulder. Your heart skips at the sensation of him pulled taut against you, it had been too long since he held you like this.

His hand caresses the side of your neck, and he whispers softly into your ear. “How's the wine treating you baby? Seems like your skin is a little warm..” He teased boldly.

“Who said it's got anything to do with the wine? My handsome ex husband is holding me— I think that calls for some mandatory blushing, does it not?”

Joel chuckles and squeezes you tighter around your hips, his body pressing against yours firmly, your hips pressed against the bench. “Ex-husband… is that what I am to you now?” He asked, smirking.

You can't help but laugh breathlessly. “Legally, yes.”

“Legally, maybe,” he replies, his smirk broadening. “But in my eyes.. Who you truly belong to is not a matter of legality..” He leans in and whispers softly into your ear, his lips tickle the skin. “Just a matter of heart..”

You shudder as his warm breath warms your ears. “Joel Miller, the romantic.”

“What can I say, you bring out the best in me.” He replies softly, lips against your neck, his voice carries a seductive undertone. One hand slides up your arms and he grabs you to spin you around, his eyes boring into you as your back is pushed against the counter, you’re forced to meet his gaze as his hand grips the nape of your neck. “Do you want to know what I really think about you?”

His sudden manoeuvre has her shocked into near silence. “What do you think of me Joel?”

He hesitates, trying to find the right words. He can't mess this up, not with your large and vulnerable eyes watching him. “You're beautiful,” he praised softly. “You have the most kind-hearted soul I've ever known.. You're a wonderful mother… and you’ll be the only one I’ll ever truly want..”

Maybe the wine helped him be bold enough to be truthful in this moment, or oversharing. He felt like this might be the only chance he might have.

“Why did it take half a bottle of wine for you to tell me all this?” You mumble.

Joel goes quiet. He can't help but stare down at you, the smirk on his lips fades, you'd always been able to see through him. “I was scared,” a note of humility in his voice. “Scared that once you knew, you wouldn't want to look at me again. I always thought you were out of my league, ya know? I didn't deserve someone like you…still don't know if I do.”

His self depreciation was never something you would come to accept. “Don't talk like that, Jesus Joel. You really have no idea how much I love you, do you?”

“How can you still love me?” He asks, although he's almost afraid of the answer you'll give. “I hurt you, I let myself drift so far from what mattered..”

“Joel… you've done nothing that isn't worth forgiving,” you promise softly.

Joel can't help himself as he pulls you against him, chest to chest. He holds you tightly, as if it might be the last time…”But that's the problem,” he said softly. “Not that what I did isn’t forgivable…but that it didn't need to happen in the first place. It hurts me just thinking about how much I lost sight of things, but it can't have been worse than how much I must've hurt you…”

Your hands have a mind of their own as they cup his cheeks, making him look down at you. “Now you listen to me, okay? I love you. Things were not easy for us back then.. We were young parents and struggling to pay the bills, parenthood hit us fucking hard and we didnt make it..” You sigh, your eyes full of love and vulnerability. “Hell—I don't even remember half of it… but were here now, we have a chance to make things better than they were, we can start new.”

He nods as he rests his forehead against your own, a small smile on his lips. You easily wipe away any insecurity and self guilt he held for their split. You were right, of course. This wasn't the time to dwell on the past, on what could've been, not when the two of you were here… now, with a brand new start. “Let's try again, huh?” He asks in a low whisper.

Pulling your lip between your teeth, you nod against his own warm skin. “Let's try again…”

His hands are warm as they caress your cheeks, he pulls you into him for a kiss, lips meeting and you're flooded with emotion, all the doubt and uncertainty you both held washed away as soon as your lips connected. The bittersweet aftertaste of wine lingers on your warm lips. He struggled to pull away from you, but he looked down at your loved filled eyes, gazing softly up at him. “God, I've missed that.” He whispers softly.

He brushes a handful of strands of loose hair out of your face, looking down at you, you note his pupils are dilated. “You still take my breath away,” he laughs softly, caressing your cheek.

You flush at his praise. “Trying to get in my good books already?”

He was definitely trying. “You can't fault me for trying, I could really use some brownie points right now, ya know?”

Laughing at his sense of humour, you roll your eyes. “You're a crooked man Joel, and I love it.”

“Is that supposed to be an insult or a compliment?” An amused tone in his voice, his body pressing against your own. He leans down to kiss you again softly, his hands caressing your waist and letting his fingers trail up the side of your torso.

“Of course it's a compliment—other men have their heads on straight and they are just…weird. You're a little crooked, a little weird, and I like that..”

The way you accept his flaws leaves him more in awe of you, he can't complain at how endearing you find his oddities. “And so youre saying it's a good thing that I'm a little unhinged at times?” He chuckles, reaching up under your chin to trace small shapes on the soft skin.

You have a little mischief twinkling in your eyes.. “Oh you know—when you get all angry and protective. Definitely crooked, but so sexy.”

“You find it hot when I get territorial over you?” He couldn't help but laugh at her admission.

The wine flows through you, giving you a sense of boldness. You run a hand down his chest, manicured fingers tickling him through the brown cotton shirt. “Do you remember that time I was on a date with that jackass, I was drunk outta my mind—”

He scowls at the memory of that night, you, his ex-wife on a date with some chump named James. The man had tried to take you home, even though you were inebriated. “Yeah, I do,” he replied with a possessive tone to his voice. “You were wasted, couldn't even walk straight.. But I knew what that animal was thinking, I could see the way he looked at you.”

“All I could remember was how infuriated you were, the sexiest thing I'd ever seen..” Your eyes draw him in, batting your lashes at him.

Joel smirks, a light blush spreading from his neck up his cheeks, to his ears from your comment. “You thought it was sexy huh? I thought I'd lost my shit and went a little overboard..”

You can only shrug, unbothered by his reaction at that time. “Oh—maybe you did, I mean you did beat him to a pulp in that forsaken carpark, didn’t you baby? All for me.”

“That prick needed his ass kicked either way,” he growls. “There was no way I was letting him have you.. Drunk or not, that man crossed a line, and I’d do it all over again.”

Your heart doubles in size, and you can feel your knees weakening. “You'd do it all over again?”

He doesn't hesitate. “I'd do it a thousand times over.. At that moment.. in my mind, you were still my girl, being hit on by some creep. And I wasn't going to let him take you away from me.” He pauses, wondering if his explanation sounded too crazy. “You still meant alot to me.. Even after we split.. You always have.”

You run a finger down his cheek, the coarse hairs of his beard make a sound that sends a tingle down your spine. “What I wouldn't do to see that side of you again.”

Joel tilts his head slightly and takes a moment to ponder your comment. He was surprised to hear you admit how much you loved this dominant and possessive side of him. “That side of me.. You want to see it again, cause I can make it happen, baby girl. Just say the words.”

You couldn't help the way you trembled, sure that the only thing keeping you up right was Joel's hips pressing against your own, back digging into the bench. “Please,” you beg pathetically. His hand reaches up to your neck, holding you by the neck, forcing you to look up at him. He applies a small amount of pressure that has you whimpering.

The way you melt under his possessive gesture was enough for him to feel confident that this side of him was still within reach and you loved it. He leans closer to you and kisses you again, this time more forcefully. He lets his fingers dig into your soft flesh, squeezing firmly while knowing it's not causing you pain or discomfort.

Hearing your squeaking moans, and the way your body seems to relax into him as he takes control of you.. He takes this as motivation to move his lips against yours with a different kind of hunger. Feeding into the darker side of himself, trying to recapture that long-lost side of him that he's lost after letting you walk out of his life.

But he wouldn't let you go, no, not this time. He had his fingers digging into your flesh and his lips moving against yours with so much force, he shoves his tongue into your mouth..

His free hand wanders along your body, feeling the warmth of the wine and from the heat of his touch, your body reacting exactly how it used to, as if no time has passed at all. His hand gropes your breast roughly, squeezing and slipping past the two layers of fabric. He pulls away from your lips, eyes darkening. “Wearing a lace bra just for me, huh baby? Bet you've got a matching set on, don't you?” He growls.

“Y–Yes..” A feeble moan emits from your lips, smothered in his spit. The thought drives him wild, and slides down the straps to your dress and takes in the lavender lace bra you brought specially for tonight. “Fuck, you’re a naughty girl aren’t you?”

When you don't respond, he grabs at your breasts roughly, grasping the soft flesh between his calloused fingers, pinching your nipples harshly, making you cry out in pleasure, it was a sensitive spot for you, one that Joel remembered well.

He leans down, greedily sucking all the sweat off your warm skin, licking and nipping, his teeth biting down into the flesh of your neck, leaving an immediate mark, claiming his stake on you. You were his..

His lips messily kissed your breasts, tongue finally meeting the nipple where he suckled harshly, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin. “Do you remember when you were pregnant? Let me drink your milk straight from the source, didn’t you baby? Fuck.. what I wouldn’t give to do that again,” he whimpers against your skin.

Your heart races, running your fingers through his dark hair. He spends his time at your breasts, alternating pleasuring the two, making sure they’re both equally as tended to as the other. “Tits are so fucking perfect baby.” He praises.

His greedy hands trail down your body, the fabric of your dress bunching at his fingers, as he slides them down your legs, he’s on his knees.. face to face with the matching lavender lace panty that covers your pussy. An involuntary moan leaves his lips, he can’t tear his eyes away at the large sopping wet patch in the middle of your panties. “Fucking hell, I can smell your need, you know that?”

Your legs tremble at his sudden growl, he could smell her arousal? The thought embarrassed her. The thought didn’t stay long in her head, he presses his face into your cunt with the panties still on, moaning against you. His large nose bumping your swollen clit through the material, and you let out a whine and curl your fingers through his hair. “Please Joel.. I need more.”

He ignores your pleas for more, licking and sucking you through your panties, he can taste you through them, he’s like an animal being teased through a cage, and he’s painfully hard, teasing the both of you with his devilish antics.

“Fuck Joel! Please!” You beg a little louder, crying out as she tugs on his hair.

Without another moment passing, his thick fingers tear the lace in half, exposing your mound. You didn’t shave, your pubic hair was trimmed but still bush enough for Joel to dive into. His mouth watered, he had always had a preference for hair down there, he’d seen it in pornography magazines growing up, and he fucking desired it ever since.

Women these days are all about shaving, being bare and having brazilians.

Fuck that. This is what Joel needed.

“Fucking hell baby you’re gonna kill me.” He groaned into your cunt. Diving face first, his arms wrap around your ass and pull you tight, his face buried into your cunt as far as he could go.

You stumble and lift one leg over his shoulder, trying to support yourself a little more. It feels impossible though, the way Joel’s tongue dives into your cunt, lapping at the juices you’re giving him, pushing his tongue as far into your hole as he can reach. His hawkish nose presses into your clit and you feel your legs trembling, like you’re about to topple over.

“Joel..” you warn breathlessly. You’re close, so fucking close.

“Cum for me baby. Fuck.. please.” Suddenly he was the one begging, on his knees lapping at your cunt, whining against you. Feeling him beg against you was all it took for you to come undone.. your legs buckle and you tremble above him, clutching onto his shoulder, as you cry out, your clit tingles with pleasure as Joel slowly rolls his tongue against it, trying to string out your orgasm.

He laps you up, all of you, not letting a single drop go to waste, his eyes are black with desire and his face is glistening with you, smeared all over his face, finally, he rises to his feet. “Turn around baby girl.” He orders, his voice husky from your slick.

You can do nothing but comply, he shoves you against the counter, your hips against the cold wood. You can hear him, his breaths are quick, he’s frantically unbuckling his belt, tying the brown leather around your wrists..

You feel his hard cock against your ass, and your eyes widen, forgetting how big he was, did he get bigger?

With one hand he pushes you down onto the bench so you’re lying, face down. “That’s it angel. You’re so fucking sweet, aren’t you baby?” He praises senselessly, the swollen tip of his cock meets your hole and you squeak out, he stretches you, beyond what you ever remembered. “J-Joel.” You whine and inhale sharply, face still pressed against the cold countertop, arms bound behind your back and his throbbing thick cock pushing inside of you, you’re helpless, completely at his mercy and you fucking love it.

Your cunt can testify the fact, it’s dripping, all over Joel, he pushes himself into the hilt of you and groans loudly, a loud grunt leaving his lips. One hand holds you flat against the counter, the other holds your bound arms at his chest.

He slowly starts to thrust, legs quaking with desire, he knows he won’t last long, fuck, he’s never had a pussy so perfect, not after you, all he knows is the warmth of you, your perfectly tight hole, sucking him in deeper.

Your moans are loud, but muffled by your cheeks squished against the counter, you can almost feel him in your ribs, with every thrust it feels like you’re running out of oxygen. Strangled gasps leave your lips as your pussy clenches around him, threatening to spill over a second time..

Joel can feel it, the way you grip him, he knows he won’t last, he grunts as he presses himself flush against you, your arms behind your back hinder his need to be closer to you, but this way.. he wraps his hand around your neck, bringing you upright, flush to his chest.

“Fuck, that’s it baby.” He growls, his cock pummels into you mercilessly, and now you’re free to cry out as loud as you can.

“Joel.. Joel.. I’m.. I..” you stutter, in between moans, your cunt clenching around him. You tense up as you orgasm a second time, creaming all over his throbbing cock.

He brings you totally upright, his hand tightening around your throat. “Fuck baby.. I’m gonna cum.. fill this perfect pussy up.” He whimpered into your ear, biting down on your neck.

You can feel him tensing, seconds later.. heavy and warm ropes of his cum spurt so far into your womb you whimper, knowing that he’s sure to get you knocked up.. again. He lets out the most obnoxious grunting as he pants heavily into your ears.

“Joel.. fuck I’m.. not on birth control.” You whimper. He keeps his cock inside of you, until he softens and pulls out of you, untying the belt that restrained your hands, as your hands fall limply by your sides, he kisses your shoulders, knowing there’s ought to be an ache.

“Good. Maybe we can have a do over after all, hm?” He murmurs softly, kissing the back of your neck. His hands find their way down to your stomach, caressing it softly. “Wouldn’t hurt to have just one more.. would it?”

After all, Joel Miller was a possessive man, a greedy man. You would bare as many children as he wished, because you weren’t ever going anywhere again. You were his.

“Might as well marry me again while you’re at it.” You tease breathlessly.

He hums against your skin, his forehead resting on the back of your shoulder. “Already thinkin’ bout it baby.”

Because Joel Miller wouldn’t let you get away, not this time.

[chaotic-mystery]

Pairing: dbf!joel x f!reader

Summary: The next morning you wake up confused about the previous night. You have to start making your life better, and doing tequila shots the first night home didn’t help.

Content warnings: eventual smut, 18+ only mdni!, eventual smut, mean Joel, enemies to lovers, daddy issues galore, swearing, hangovers, red thongs trying to be stolen, reader tried to smack Joel but that didn’t end good, Joel was nice for like 2 seconds, then mean Joel came out.

Word Count: 3.3K

A/N: Thank you all for the patience with me on this! I’m so ready to continue and show you were this is going. I love you. Enjoy 🖤

With the morning sun pouring into your small bedroom window, you felt a leg under yours, brows furrowed at the spare body parts. Fuck. What did I do last night? You lift your head and turn it to the right, noticing the messy head of black curls and suddenly your eyes go wide. Tommy. Did I fuck Tommy last night? Soft snores came from his body while he lay there completely unaware of your internal panicking. 

Tucking in your arms under you to give you a boost up and out of bed, Tommy rolls over and grabs the pillow, suffocating it between his arms and chest. As you stand there with your hand covering your mouth, you wondered just how you got yourself into this mess. Maybe it was the tequila shots, maybe it wasn’t. Who’s to say? 

It was in fact, the tequila shots. 

How could you have been so careless, having sex with the second good looking guy you laid eyes on the moment you got back home. First, first good looking guy you laid your eyes on. 

The bathroom door closes behind you and you press your back against it, mind racing at how to handle this whole situation. Your feet tapped against the cold tile as you paced back and forth. 

What were you going to tell Tommy when he woke up thinking you wanted to be something, expecting to be a regular sleeper in your bed? 

Your hand covers your mouth in disbelief. What the fuck am I gonna do?

A deep breath enters your lungs as a boost of confidence that you can be straightforward with him about this. I’ve got this. You grab the doorknob and turn it to open the door, head poking out first to find Tommy still snoring away. He didn’t move one bit. Lightly tapping his shoulder, you grew impatient at the efforts going to waste. This wouldn’t be so bad if you didn’t have to go job hunting today, like you promised yourself you would. 

With your bunny slippers trampling through the damp grass to Joel’s front door, you adjusted and tightened your robe only about a million times to make sure nothing was showing or sticking out. It was already 9:33 A.M, surely Joel has been awake for hours, right? He’s an older man and they are always up early for who fucking knows what. With your hand switching from beating on the door and ringing the doorbell, someone was bound to answer. The front door flies open to a very grumpy looking Joel, yanking down the rest of his shirt to cover his abdomen. 

“Can you please come get your brother from my bed? I need to go job hunting today and he isn’t waking up. It may have something to do with the tequila shots.” You scratched the back of your neck, too embarrassed to look at him.

A scoff leaves his lips and he shakes his head slowly. “Gotta be fuckin’ kidding me. Talk to me all crazy n’ shit last night but now you need my help for your benefit? And for the record, I don’t doubt he’s still sleeping. I fuckin’ heard you two going at it all night after I specifically told you not to keep me up all night. So no, I’m not helping. See ya.” The door was just about closed when you put your hand between it and the door frame to make Joel choose whether or not he wanted to crush your hand. 

“Move. Your hand.” His nostrils flared slightly, his eyes shooting daggers into you. 

“No. Come get your brother or I’ll make being my neighbor a living hell for you.” No more jokes, no more bullshit was coming from you. If you didn’t find a job soon, you’d just be giving your dad more ammunition to use in the future when he talks about how disappointed he is with you. 

Joel’s fingers tapped against the door while he contemplated if he wanted to get roped into this or not. “I swear to fuckin’ god little girl, this better be the first and last time I’m gonna have to do this. Don’t drag him into your shit.” With one swift move he was walking down the porch steps on his way to your bedroom, muttering some bullshit under his breath. When he reaches your room he notices the door slightly shut and he looks to you to tell him to go in. “He’s not..naked…is he?” He whispers to you.

“Not that I’m aware of…but now that you mention it I don't remember honestly.” You whispered back, staring at the ground. 

The amount of restraint Joel had to use to not shout at you right then and there for not remembering was astronomical. His calloused palm flies to his forehead and smacks it roughly. “You are a pain in my fuckin’ ass and you haven’t even been here a week!” He whispers louder at you as he shoves the door open and takes a few steps inside. With his hand covering his eyes in case his younger brother's bare ass was out, he stopped where he felt was the middle of your room. 

“Tommy, get up. Cmon. Get dressed. Up, let’s go.” His foot reached out until it stopped on the box spring and he nudged it a few times to get Tommy moving. Soon enough Tommy rolled over and took the sheet with him, his black boxers poking out slightly. 

“Would you stop, he’s not naked.” You hiss and yank Joel’s hand off his face. A small gasp came from him as he opened his eyes and was met with a still half asleep Tommy. 

“Tommy, let’s go man; wake your ass up!” Joel groans and shakes the hell out of his shoulder, obtaining groans from his brother. 

He turns his head upwards to look at Joel, eyes slowly blinking open. “Joel? What’re you doin’- wait, did we tag team her like we did that one g-” His words were immediately ceased with Joel’s hand covering Tommy’s lips quickly, loud shushing drowning out his voice. “Get up, we’re leaving so Miss princess can go find a job and be a productive member of society like the rest of us common folk.” Joel bent down and threw whatever clothes were in a pile by his feet at Tommy, hoping and praying he’d get dressed and they can get the hell outta there and Joel can get on with his day. 

“This isn’t mine, but I’d love to keep it..” Tommy held up your red thong from the previous night's escapades and your face got feverish to the touch, your hands covering your face to shield you from the embarrassment. 

Joel smacks the back of his head and tells him to knock it off. “Hurry up, I’ll be back at the house. He turns to look at you who still had your face covered. With a firm bump of his forearm against yours, you lowered them and sighed. 

“For your sake and mine, don’t invite him over again. Next time he’s your problem to deal with.” Surprisingly to you his tone wasn’t harsh for once, more of a sympathetic ring to it this time. 

“Ye-yeah I won’t. Thanks again.” Taken aback by his semi sweet piece of advice, you nodded towards the door. “I should let you out so you can get back to your day.” With your hands in your back pockets as you walked him to the front door, you could still hear Tommy stomping around upstairs, trying what sounded like putting on his shoes. You looked at your phone to see if you missed any new texts from your dad, not a single message. You told him you’d be finding a job today but did he care to respond, tell you good luck, anything? No. Why would he? Joel must’ve been able to tell something was wrong because his frame softened along with his face, brows unfurrowed. 

“You uh..you okay?” He asked, cocking his head to the side just a tad to see your face while you looked at your phone. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.” you coldly answer, pushing the front screen door open for him. He wanted to press the situation further but stopped himself. It was no secret you were bothered by something but he couldn't guess what it was. “I’m going to your dads here in a bit to talk about where he wants this fuckin’ pool for Janet.” His brown eyes rolled slightly as he let out a breathy chuckle. With his hand pressed against the screen door to prop it open and walk out to the porch, Joel stops and stands still for a moment before turning back around to look at you. 

“You sure nothin’ is wron-” 

He was cut off by Tommy marching down your stairs to the front door, stopping in front of you. “You, little lady. No more tequila shots for me, ever again.” He laughs, his gorgeous smile playing to his lips. Your stomach started to turn and have a funny feeling inside. Maybe it was the fact you really weren’t all that interested in Tommy. Yeah you banged him last night, but before that happened you two sat up for hours and talked while pouring sloppy shots of more tequila. He told you about him and how he worked so closely with Joel, his beautiful niece Sarah and how she was like the daughter he never had. 

“So maybe I’ll see you later?” The eagerness in his voice was so prominent it hurt that much more. “Uhh..maybe. We’ll talk soon, promise.” 

You kiss his cheek and send him and Joel on their way back across the grass to Joel’s house. 

Frustration and confusion course through your veins while you press your back against the front door, trying to make sense of what’s happened within the last 48 hours. It was almost 10:30 when you realized you should probably wash yourself before you go out all afternoon. 

With just enough time to spare to smoke a cigarette to calm your nerves before leaving the house, you look over to Joel’s driveway and see his truck is gone. He was probably at your dads house by now, telling him all about this morning and how you’re the worst neighbor already. Who cares what your dad has to say to that though, you’re a grown ass adult and you can do what you want. 

You smooth your hair down one last time in the reflection of the window before you flick the half smoked cigarette and blow the smoke from your mouth. Reaching into your purse you pull out the squashed packet of gum that was half gone. The sweet notes of mint dance to your nose as you unwrap the piece and toss it in your mouth, discarding the paper back into the package. Still no message from your dad the last time you checked. You probably should’ve never messaged him about it, he was never going to care like he pretends. Getting in your car and cranking the air and still painfully getting used to the heat once again, you put on your music and begin driving around all over town to find a decent job somewhere in this hellhole.

With the afternoon sun slowly going down, you huffed as you sunk back into your car after being denied from the seventh business to get a job. You could feel your luck fading with every declining response, the fear of being more of a disappointment creeping up on you like a scary shadow in the dark. The warm steering wheel held your head as you leaned forward to take a breath. 

Back at your dad’s house, Joel’s putting his things away back in his little tool bag he carries in his truck for shit like this. He hates being unprepared, it’s not a good look for himself. 

“So have you talked to your daughter recently?” Joel casually brings up as he puts away his tape measure. 

“Yeah, she texted me earlier this morning about finding a job but I don’t know about all that. She’s not what these people are lookin’ for. She’s always late and she flakes, she can never amount to anything and she doesn’t put her mind to it. She quits when the going gets tough, s’why she ran away from here all those years ago to follow her mother across the country. Told her it was a stupid idea and she’d regret it and now look where she’s at. Back here in Texas with me.” Your dad laughs like anything he just said was remotely funny. Joel stopped putting tools away the moment your dad started to talk shit about his own flesh and blood, the only one of his kids that continues to acknowledge his existence. Even though Joel was still very pissed about last night and this morning, he didn’t think it was right for your dad to be talking about you like that, especially to him, a complete stranger to you. 

He had to bite the inside of his cheek as he thought long and hard about what to say next. 

“But you did respond and tell her good luck or somethin’ right? Sure she’s nervous and it sounds like she wants to get it right this time.” He looks over at your dad who was watching the birds fly away from the trees, his red polarized sunglasses he got from the gas station years ago shielding his eyes from Joel’s. 

“No, I didn’t. She’ll be fine. Can’t hold her hand forever Joel. Plus I don’t know if they’d want her to work for them. They all heard the same thing I told you, can’t help that I know everyone in town and they wanna know my life.” He laughs again and Joel can feel his jaw clench together. 

“Alan, man cmon that’s messed up. You just said you can’t hold her hand forever but you aren’t helping her grow up either by doin’ that.”

Your dad just waves Joel off and chuckles, turning to look at him, “She’ll be fine.” Something told Joel you wouldn’t be though. 

On your drive home you skipped going back to your cozy hideaway and opted for the bar from last night, just having a taste for a beer. A single beer, no more tequila shots…for now. You sit down on the stool and turn yourself until you’re facing the bartender who just happened to be Michelle. There was a gnawing feeling at you, like you needed to apologize for putting Joel in a funk last night. 

“What can I getcha sweeth-” Her words silenced when she was face to face with you. Giving her a small wave, you took a deep breath, trying not to mix up your words. “I think we got off on the wrong foot and I’d really like to start over. I didn’t mean to step on your toes last night about your bar. I think it’s cute and for the record, Joel isn’t watching over me, he’s my dads best friend and yes we’re neighbors but I don’t want to fuck him and he doesn’t want to fuck me- he actually can’t even stand to be around me and that’s mutual so I-” 

“Okay, enough- stop it!” Michelle raises her voice and looks at you closely. 

“What do you care if I like you or not darlin’?” 

Your fingers comb your hair back and fall to the bar top, smoothing over an imperfection you managed to find. “I don’t want bad blood with anyone, that’s all. I’m already having a tough time finding a job and my dad- I’m sorry. I don’t mean to dump my problems onto you. I just don’t want the list of people wishing to see me fall on my ass grow. She was pouring you a diet coke and tossed a little straw in it, setting it down in front of you before leaning on her hands that were on the curve of the bar top. 

“You said you needed a job?” The fizzy drink rolls down your throat and you nod fast. You can see she’s thinking of something in her head, the way she's biting at her fingernail slightly and her eyes are scanning back and forth.

“Come back tonight for training and wear something sexy but nothing too crazy..it’s a bar not a porno.” Michelle raises an eyebrow at you and walks to the back with empty bottles, leaving you sitting in the stool alone and your half drank coke dripping with condensation. With your lips fishing for the straw, you sucked the rest of the liquid down and left a ten dollar bill under the cup and immediately got into your car to drive home. 

As you pull up to your house, you notice Joel’s truck is still gone, and no Sarah in sight. Wonder where she is…

Almost all of your clothes were tossed onto the floor while you tried to piece together a cute outfit. You landed on a black pleather halter top with laces in the front and black skin tight pleather pants. The black cowgirl boots your mom got you as a joke were finally making their way out of the box and onto some concrete. As you curled your hair and put it in a messy Pam Anderson inspired bun, you felt sexier than ever in weeks, maybe months. Bartending was all new to you but you’d like to think you learned new stuff quickly. With all of your touchup makeup packed away and about ten sprays of body spray, you were ready. 

The gravel in Joel’s driveway crunched under his tires and he put it in park. You peaked from the bathroom window so he wouldn’t see you, it looked like he was on the phone. 

Your chunky boot heels thump against the stairs and off you were out the door, ready to go to the first job you’ve been scared of doing. You cover your eyes from the warm setting sun and look at Joel through his truck window. He sighed and got out, immediately growing and looking away. “Where in the hell are you going? You better not be goin’ to Tommy’s I swe-” 

“Uuugh nooo I’m not and if I was, who are you to stop me?” You fire back, your purse dangling slightly. 

“Hey! I’m just trying- you know what? Forget it. How did the um..job hunting go?” Still not looking directly at you but in your direction, you told him how shitty it was. “Well um ya see..”

“But it’s totally okay because I stopped at Michelle's bar on the way home and she offered me a job. That’s where I’m going right now actually!” The excitement dripping from your words was like nails on a chalkboard to him considering how wide his eyes got. 

“You’ve got to be fuckin’ jokin’. You can’t seriously be working there?” He rubs his eyes out of frustration and groans loudly. Your smile slowly faded and you could feel the fiery ball of anger growing inside you. 

“What is the fucking issue?”

“Do you have to be everywhere in my life every damn time I turn around, Jesus christ! I mean, the first night you’re here you’re dumped on me and then you bang my brother, insult my girl’s bar and then turn around and work there? What goes through your fucking head sometimes?”

He puts his hand on his hips and stares at you, waiting for some sort of answer. You meet him halfway in the grass right on the property line and raise your hand to smack him for talking to you like that when he catches your wrist in midair, shoving it back down to your side.

“Fuck you! I didn’t ask for him to dump me on you! Newsflash, you’re friends with a dickhead! Michelle was the one who hired me and last time I checked it’s her bar, old man. Not yours. See you fucking never, asshole.” Just when you felt a sliver of hope of maybe ever mending this weird thing with Joel, he shoves his foot in his mouth and misspeaks, taking you right back to square one of not liking him. 

[sickofthistoxicshit]

Here's the thing,

Eddie comes from a big family,

Eddie has two sisters,

Eddie has multiple female cousins,

Eddie was married himself,

When he asked, "But his wedding is about you?"

That was NOT jealousy, that is simple common sense, knowing that a wedding day is about the bride and groom who have waited for this day their entire lives, and spent so much money, and energy and frayed nerves to get to this exact moment,

Wanting to, at the same time, enjoy this day that is about them, and also survive all their loved ones on both sides, that, from experience, don't always get along, with as little hangups and drama as possible.

When Eddie asks Buck "But the wedding is about you?" He reminds Buck that indeed it is not about him, and that being seen with Tommy in front of friends and family could wait.

Not forever, just enough for his sister and their friend to get married and go on their honeymoon.

Then he can tell whoever he wants whatever he wants. So that his sister and friend don't have to deal with drama that isn't theirs on their wedding day because they have enough to be stressed about as it is.

I remind everyone that the last time the Buckleys and Hans seniors were at the same house, they were less than cordial.

Now I realize, you all are gonna go, what and why do you assume bad things immediately, and why shouldn't he bring his guy to the wedding? And all sorts of questions little siblings and unaware ppl ask.

Because as someone who grew up in a huge family with drama queens who love chaos, and been to numerous weddings and helped my own younger sister organize one, I can tell you that without anyone coming out, there wasn't one wedding of my aunts and uncles and several of my cousins that I have been to that didn't end up with a crying bride.

For multiple reasons, most of them was about a mother, a mother in law or some family member who decided to air their grievances or opinions and make someone else's day about them.

So no, Eddie wasn't jealous, he was spot on with his assertion

And Tommy didn't clock anything from Eddie’s question, he looked just as put out with an "I didn't think about it" expression himself and waited for Buck to respond, because what can you say to that?

And Tommy merely went with Buck's wishes, he didn't advocate for or against, he's just there for the ride.

Eddie was polite in comparison to other LI Buck had before with Tommy, and even offered him a drink.

I don't think Eddie was jealous, Eddie knows he's still in a relationship, and he's not quite ready to get there.

He is protective of Buck, he always has been. But he is not quite jealous yet.

He needs to make an active choice to acknowledge that he wants Buck that way first. Give it a couple of episodes.

[jessi--ac]

I woke up earlier than I have to because I'm full of thots it turns out, but I wanted to talk about ostark for a hot minute here, because as much as I think he was a bit careless in his post episode interviews and deleted story, people are being a bit hasty here. Let's imagine the guy is really that self absorbed that only cares about the praise.

But then let's do a 180 and talk about Rafa Silva. My fellow countryman is a late immigrant to the USA and is an out actor. He gets the part to play a cop, something I think those of us who follow Rafa knows he he is aware and mindful of copaganda, but the character so happens to also be gay and struggle with it, pretty much like Rafa himself did. He does a pretty remarkable job, LS is about to end and he's already booked as a main on another show, a Latino immigrant, not even 1st gen.

Now going back to ostark, I find it difficult to believe he would personally shut down a storyline just because he allegedly doesn't like his co-star. Even going by the selfish pov, the gains would far outweigh any personal discomfort. I mean, he didn't even hyped up the relationship pre and post filming 8a because he already knew what would happen and if he did, that would be fucking cruel. Not to defend him on other instances I think he's at fault, but that would be incredibly dumb carer-wise

Lfj was supposedly only to do less episodes than he actually did and someone said 'hell naw bring that dude back' so his participation was expanded. After the probably unexpected backlash, there is high chance someone will do that again because in a purely marketing pov, they would also be pretty dumb not to surf that hype. Assuming they were really unaware of the impact the storyline and tommy's character would have in general audiences also, which is what I think it is.

Anyway, let's just hope lfj will get that call this week a-stat

[bucksboobs]

Curious about your hcs for 911 characters sexualities? Like tbh the only character I can see as fully straight.... maybe Athena? Everyone else is at least a lil fruity (love hc of aro/ace!Ravi tbh, so done with 118 hijinks)

So as much as I joke about Buck 1.0 wanting to seduce Bobby, I do actually see him (and Athena) as one hundo percent straight. Basically the only straight people in LA.

Chimney and Maddie have such strong bi4bi energy that I can’t help but read them as both being a little bit bisexual and Chimney having had some hookups with guys pre-Tatiana. Maddie’s never explored her attraction to women much in practice, since she went from Doug to Howie pretty quick but being with Howie helped her better understand it, which is why she teases Buck so much about his boy crushes and also why her best friend is Josh (gays flock together)

Lucy is so bisexual, Lena Bosko is so a lesbian, and Ravi I actually see as bi and being Not Interested in getting involved with the 118’s nonsense is a separate thing. Until he hooked up with Victoria I actually though Albert was gay but bi is fine for my Hanikkar Agenda

I’m not going to contradict any canon LGBT sexualities so we’ll skip over Hen, Karen, Buck, Josh, Tommy, etc.

Now for the controversial part:

Eddie I, personally, hc as gay and deeply, deeply, very deeply in denial about it. I think he dated Shannon because that was what was expected of him (I had a similar experience of being Expected to eventually marry my childhood girl best friend, so like I am aware I’m projecting a little.) and while he has romanticized that relationship to Hell, Heaven, Purgatory, and back, he wasn’t really attracted to her physically. In fact I don’t think he really understands what physical attraction is because he’s so heavily compartmentalized his attraction to men that he’s unaware of it even when it does happen. He hangs out with Tommy ringside and does Muay Thai with him shirtless and never questions the way his heart speeds up or his palms sweat because to him it’s just the excitement of making a new friend. In fact I have a lot of headcanons about how he views sex as his Husbandly Duty, as a chore that he has to do to maintain relationships, and that once he finally breaks through the layers and layers of repression, learning to love sex (with men) and be excited about it will be a magical and healing experience for him. Obviously that’s a very specific interpretation of the character but it’s my personal opinion.

[lover-of-mine]

your post about how eddie fell first is literally what made me follow you last year 😄

i know you said you’re enjoying the time before the show might… well, squash the theory… but you never know! it could be the reveal/pining/slowburn of the century!

what are your theories for if they don’t go that route? eddie didn’t know all along?

I love that you followed me through that post because I feel like that one really sets the mood for the madness you're about to experience following me kspakspakpakapaka

No but can you imagine, revealing that Eddie has been in love all along and aware of it for whoever long they decide (I know I say even all the way down to the lawsuit could work and that the shooting was his oh moment, but my guess if they ever went that route it would be post breakdown, like, he figures it out and accepts between dumb luck and starting over, so confirm he was pining during all of season 6) and then make Eddie canonically explicitly pine as Buck dates a guy who's literally him in a different font? What kind of fanfic bullshit would that be? I would die, like legit. Buck being bi almost made me call my psychiatrist to adjust my meds, Eddie being in love with Buck all along confirmed would put me in a psych hold kspalapalapopkspsk

That being said, if they are going there with buddie, which I'm 90% sure they are, since Buck is fully unaware of the Eddie of it all and Eddie is about to have problems with Marisol, you can have Eddie watch Buck with Tommy and be like "I want that", especially when it seems like they'll focus a lot on being soft and fun and something that just makes Buck happy, and then be like "oh shit do I want Buck?" Because they never really saw each other in a happy relationship, so that can absolutely spark something for Eddie and Eddie wouldn't need something as on the nose as being grabbed and kissed by Buck to realize he loves him, yk? So he can be longing for what they have, even more if he does break up with Marisol before he finds out Buck and Tommy are dating, and then have him be like oh fuck. Because even though I strongly believe Buck needs to make a move, the show needs to explicitly state Eddie's interest in Buck before that happens or else you risk people saying it came out of nowhere or it's just repeating the bucktommy start. Like, I wouldn't be surprised if there was something like Buck and Tommy dancing at the wedding, and Eddie watching them, and you just see the progression happen on his face (that Ryan would BODY because the way that man can make you feel exactly what Eddie is feeling without saying a single word amazes me) and then we enter a pining era that eventually would evolve into a mutual pining era and eventually getting them together. But my guess right now is not that Eddie is gonna be jealous, it is that he's gonna be longing, and that will lead to him finally being like oh! for real.

Fantasy scenario though, is the reveal that Eddie has in fact been aware of it at least throughout all of season 6, settled into the fact that Buck was "straight" and he had to move on, now has to pine as he watches Buck with a guy he has so much in common with, and not do anything about it again not because he thinks Buck can't feel the same way, but because Buck just doesn't want him and is happy, so he won't mess that up and take the secret to the grave. Especially if you consider the way you can totally frame the cemetery scene to make it seem like Eddie thinks Buck "broke up" with him (cemetery scene my beloved 🫶), you have him double down that feeling, "I'm still not what he wants, that doesn't change just because he's attracted to guys" and you have him try to figure out what to do with it since moving on didn't work he and he would want to be as supportive as possible because Buck is still Buck and he is his person and he wants Buck to be happy, all while trying to figure out how to be happy with himself, and while Buck and Eddie work on their friendship (talk boys, please, I'm begging). Then Buck and Tommy break up, Buck and Eddie almost die together in the finale and we have a buddie cliffhanger to close the season (drown Buck 2024 I will always believe you) and buddie get together at some point during the beginning of season 8.

Also, can you imagine the CHAOS if the show gave us bi Buck and buddie canon on Eddie's side within a week of each other after only 5 episodes in the network? We would LEGIT break the internet. And I would owe everything to abc lol

[giiyus]

the tornado by owl city is c!tubbo's song and c!tubbo's only (or in other words im bored so let's analyze the tornado in a c!tubbo lense)

—

It was just startin' to drizzle as I walked out the door

But I've delivered papers in the rain like that before

3:30 in the morning, I was happy as a lark

As I grabbed my bike and rode into the dark

i think of this as him first arriving to the dsmp as his innocent, bubbly self. the phrase "happy as a lark" showing that he's overjoyed to be there and that he is carefree and unaware of the grimmer realities about to take place ("rode into the dark")

I pedaled through the neighborhood, the weather on my mind

The wind was pickin' up and howlin' louder all the time

The sky churned like a cauldron and the distant thunder roared

And I knew that I was in for quite a storm

this is the early dsmp arc, before the lmanburg war for independence. tubbo is getting into some small conflicts, including the disc war, and wondering what's happening in the caravan with wilbur and tommy. he doesn't know it yet, but both the disc war and wilbur/tommys caravan shit would get him into so much future trouble that is soon approaching hence the "the distant thunder roared".

i see the lyric "and i knew that i was in for quite a storm" as me reflecting on tubbo's story because even though in some extent he knew that it wasn't going to be easy to declare independence from dream, he did not know how big that conflict and the following conflicts would be and affect him, but i do (and he was most definitely in for quite a big horrific storm)

A little rain never hurt no one, so I kept pressin' on

And I tried to tell myself it's always darkest before the dawn

shit is starting to get real in the lmanburg war

Lighting struck an oak tree as I leapt off my bike

The sirens started wailing, but there was no good place to hide

I knew without a doubt there was a twister touchin' down

So I crawled into a culvert to wait it out

enter schlatt and his administration/tubbo acting as a spy

culvert = his tunnels from schlatt to pogtopia

The little bit of courage I had left was almost gone

But I tried to tell myself it's always darkest before the dawn

execution, he still tries to see the good in everyone though

And then the nightmare started, it got deafeningly loud

Every fiber in me screamed out, but I couldn't make a sound

The whirling of a vortex, a violent carousel

It sounded like a freight train was draggin' me to hell

lmanburg destroyed first time leading into c!tubbo exiling tommy, "deafeningly loud" = tnt raining on the city, fireworks hitting everywhere (trauma alert)

And this was my prayer

"Save me from this terrible nightmare"

he is utterly alone, everyone calls him schlatt and a villain, he was this happy go lucky guy turned traumatic devastating teenager

That was when I saw my family with my eyes shut real tight

Would they know how much I loved them if this was how I died?

No, I vowed I'd not be murdered by a monster in the sky that night

c!tubbo doesn't end everything?? lmanburg destroyed AGAIN (seriously they love exploding that shit)

"murdered by a monster in the sky that night" referring to the tnt raining down on lmanburg

But if I went home to heaven, at least that's where I'd belong

Yeah, I tried to tell myself it's always darkest before the dawn

So I kept hangin' on

I kept hangin' on

he keeps persevering, the creation of snowchester (his new supposed safe haven) is made

The shadows slowly melted as I was hunkered down

'Til at last the worst was over, the storm was dyin' out

I crept out of that culvert and I went weak in the knees

'Cause what I saw was a somber sight to see

they start the finale disc war, there's fighting. "somber sight" being the place where dream was going to kill tubbo (the prison)

There was nothin' but destruction and wreckage in that town

Cars were upside down and houses leveled to the ground

A twisted trampoline was hangin' from the power lines

I blinked a tear back 'cause I felt lucky to be alive

finale disc war, dream didn't kill him. i think that even though he was passively suicidal in this, he felt a sliver of hope that things would look up. "a twisted trampoline " part relating to c!dream losing two canon lives and being stuck in the prison for (supposedly) forever

And that was how I learned to live when you can run, but you can't hide

How to feel trapped in a tunnel but come out the other side

'Cause with all the stormy weather in the world, you learn to take life one storm at a time

You don't have to be afraid

And now when there's bad weather on the way, I stay calm

more snow chester healing arc + cabinetduo drama but instead of being afraid and silent, tubbo sticks up for what he wants/believes in and won't let quackity push him around

And I keep hangin' on because it's always darkest before the dawn

And I keep hangin' on

I keep hangin' on

i see this as tubbo telling micheal about some of his story as a life lesson to be taught (watered down ofc he's still a kid) and living happily with c!ranboo

i see this as a nice ending to the dsmp in my mind so thats the point in the lore where i stop :)

[lilacartsmadsion]

Season 4 spoilers for Lego Monkie Kid

Does…anyone else sorta not trust the writers when the Twitter post showed up?

Like the tweet where David (I think that’s his name)was explaining that Wukong was not MK’s Dad?

Like, I don’t doubt that he is NOT his dad, like ok, he’s not.

Like in this translation

Master Bodhi says he was not born from the same rock which could mean that hypothetically, the stone egg constantly being reborn is not being born from the same egg

Or that MK is not from the same egg literally, like he’s born somewhere else where there is a stone egg, so breaking his connection to Wukong, but having somewhat the same origins.

But I don’t believe that Wukong was unaware of MK being a stone monkey…

Because if this isn’t some weird premonition shit or some weird thing like, Stone Monkeys can sense each other or something I don’t know what is…

Like, the only way MK could possibly have gotten the staff is if he got a delivery order to go to the construction site where D.B.K. was, but the problem is, no one acknowledged that they ordered noodles, no one said they did, and possibly no one did, but Sun Wukong, that’s the only explanation, why would the clones (who can’t eat) or Red Son and PIF even order noodles if this whole operation was top secret? Why risk that for a simple snack? The only one who could’ve done it is Wukong.

I’m not saying that we should completely distrust the writers but, I’m just saying I just…don’t completely trust that he doesn’t know what’s happening…Y’know?

I mean….this is just my opinion really? I don’t necessarily trust anything any writer says unless it’s stated directly in an interview…not a tweet an interview…cause 1.) I don’t trust that one SINGULAR writer can choose the fate of the whole series and 2.) Tommy Andreason (forgot the spelling) Creator of Ninjago…

I don’t…guys I just don’t-

[dorylinae-supremacy]

BFOB Ramblings (spoilers)

Backyard full of bones is full of my little guys I love thinking about them.

I'm gonna put a break under this but in general its just me rambling about how it links back with the DSMP plot we know and it just kinda gives context to some stuff that'll happen later on!

Its very long and full of deranged ramblings.

Currently toying with the idea that Techno used to smoke around their teen years, something that drove Phil crazy, and after the events of cigarette box (ILYLTAIMCB) Wil just takes one of his coats (the trenchcoat) and runs away.

I brush on that more in the Fundy visit fic I'm working on dw but in general I think thats around the time that Wil starts smoking. He misses his brother and after his scent fades from the coat he starts smoking to try and fill that space.

Wil somehow evades SBI's capture and raises Fundy, eventually moving to the DSMP where Tommy finds him and does what little he can to mend the familys relationship.

Wil convinced himself that they wouldnt forgive him for having Fundy and just believes that constantly running is better than coming to them and being rejected. After a few weeks Tommy convinces him to send off a letter to Phil to show he's wrong and to Wilburs surprise his dad actually responds.

This is ofc all an elaborate plot to yoink him back and Phil (and Techno) are both incredibly furious about Wil running and Fundy's existance but they can forgive him once they have him back. Tommy is probably messaging Phil to keep mellow so that Wil doesnt get spooked and it actually works for a while before Wil goes into his ravine arc.

That was enough for Techno to finally have an excuse to join the server and thus the ravine. Him and Wil do repair their relationship a little but Techno is distant as a punishment and it only damaged Wils mental state even more (Tech is unaware of how bad it is) and things start spiralling.

The ravine is more full of family than Wils had in years but he's never felt lonelier and Technos distance only makes him feel even worse since despite everything he still relies on his brothers approval. Theyre so codependent its insane.

Techno does finally start spotting the signs but only when its far too late, sending off a letter to their dad to have him come and take care of Wil. Obviously at that point Wil is already laying the dynamite and everything is just building up.

Then theres the button room and Wil dies (I have a fic on that in th works too dw bbgs) and goes to limbo. I very much like to think that one of the main (secret) reasons that Techno destroyed L'manburg is because it was the only thing that remained of his brother.

If he cant have Wil then no one can. Phil shares the sentiment and so they both help blow everything up. This is where I get blurry with the DSMP so now we start to go a bit off the rails.

Stuff happens like normal after that, exile and then Tommy's recovery arc happen in the same spots and he gets yoinked up and fixed. I think Techno would just never leave him alone during this time, seeing the signs he missed in Wilbur and vowing to not let them slip past again.

Tommy cant do anything if Technos always watching him, after all.

Ghostbur is mulling around but I'm not sure how the others in this universe would feel about that. Tommy finds comfort in him and I think in a way Techno does too.

Phil feels incredibly guilty about the whole 'killing his son' thing so bedrock bros generally try and keep Ghostbur away from their dad by keeping the ghost in the cabin.

Honestly I think Techno would just feel very bittersweet about Ghostbur. Thats his brother who he loves but its a shell that barely even acts like him anymore. He's probably pretty indulgent of the ghosts whims based purely on the fact that he could never say no to Wil.

Then theres the butcher army and the execution. That stuff I think only drives Phil to get even darker and more possessive of the sons that he still has with him. It was probably during this that he was working out how to revive Wil.

Techno ofc doesnt die in the execution because of both the totem and the fact that he's practically a demigod due to Kristin. I like to think that Revivebur in limbo would get flashes of what Ghostbur sees and he ended up watching the execution. Just for extra angst and trauma.

Usual stuff after that, Phil gets yoinked home and Techno takes Quakitys eye. Fucked up dude probably keeps it in a jar. Anyway though they go back to destroy L'manburg again and Tommy tries to betray them and fuck off but he literally just gets dragged back by them.

It takes ages for them to have him settle but during that theyre working on revival so neither of them mind babysitting him. Tommy eventually falls into their way of thinking and half agrees with their view on things.

Wil is then revived and ILYLTS happens, draggng him back to his family in the Tundra where they all finally begin to heal (i.e make each other worse) and its dark fluff for ages.

Some time after that when Wils allowed out the house (has to bring one of his brothers with him) the Fundy visit happens and its basically just him trying to find closure and Phil responding 'kys' at every turn.

He's very meanza towards him but who wouldnt be tbh, hes practically a stranger and he tried to kill Techno so obviously he's not gonna be happy with him. Its also so he can try and isolate Wil away from other people in the SMP but thats just usual dark Phil shenanigans.

Dream ofc stays in prison in all this, if Techno were to go in there then Wil would probably beat the shit out of Quakity for 'tricking' his brother and Techno would most likely maul the dude that abused his baby brother.

[oh-my-damn]

I really like your page and your honesty and your takes are always really intelligent and interesting. You also don’t cut any Chris any unnecessary slack bc he’s “Chris Evans” and even if it is just business, it’s still shitty. But in your comments on another one of your posts you say you can forgive Ana for blonde bc it was a good career move? I guess I just don’t understand how everyone is so quick to love a woman who has history having no qualms stepping on other womens throats to get to the top? Also (on this I’m not 100% sure) but wasn’t her relationship with Ben Afflack PR, or real but she still used it for exposure? And he’s also a pretty shitty guy too. I know I’m probably going to be attacked bc everyone loves her for some reason, but what Ana did is honestly unforgivable to me and her acting really wasn’t great in that movie either. I’ve seen everyone attack the director, writers and even other actors for blonde, but Ana gets praised for it? And you and everyone also who calls out Chris, rightfully so (and even Sebastian Stan for a more similar situation to Ana’s for when he played Tommy Lee also glorifying abuse, toxic relationships, miscarriage and overall getting rich off of a woman’s trauma. The EXACT same things she did) just say, well I get it with Ana, she was trying to establish herself. Or that it’s harder bc she’s a woman. I’d rather stay a little character actor or be in b-list movies then do that. She’s shitty too and gets consistent passes on it. When everyone makes jokes that they’re watching the movie, the carpet or interviews for her only and not Chris, idk why anyone wants to see her either. They both disgust me now. I realize I might be coming off aggressive towards the end here and I really don’t mean to be, but I’d like someone to make it make sense.

Okay honey I have to be honest here

I don't know enough about Ana to know what you mean right now. I know Blonde received a lot of criticism and personally I couldn't sit through it. I hated how it disrespected Marilyn in such a major way; including the fact it was originally sold as a biopic only to later admit that a lot of scenes were made up because it was based on a part fictional book someone else wrote.

I am not sure what else Ana has done, if you'd be okay with it, could you please elaborate further? I'm just not that into her so I honestly don't know.

I completely understand your point regarding Blonde, however I do think it's a little different to do a controversial movie rather than to surround yourself with bad people in your personal life. Mainly because in a movie you're doing your job and portraying a certain character in a script that was created and everyone knows that's what you're doing, whereas in PR relationships you're pretending to be personally connected, attracted and supportive of a certain person, so when that person has some shitty things come out, that makes you all of those things to that shitty person. That affects you directly personally, not just professionally, and since the purpose of a PR relationship is to convince people it's real, the only thing to actually do is assume it's real and that they have chosen this awful person to be around them. That's a huge huge lack of morals, in my opinion, as your personal self is someone you should be authentic to, and especially if you're trying to sell it to the public.

I have no idea if that makes sense, I am trying to express my thoughts as clearly as possible.

That being said, I still would love to know more about the Ana situation as I honestly am completely unaware of what controversy there is surrounding her, other than Blonde.

I hope you'll come back and respond <3

Lots of love!

[ramblingdisaster73]

Thoughts while rewatching 4x01 - 4x04 -

Episode 4x02 - this does include thoughts that span the whole arc - so spoilers ahead.

Not at all hard to figure out why the trailer couple would get divorced – both are a bit unhinged – and not in a “I am going to save the love of my life way”

I love how the white dude was able to just say “Naw, I don’t feel like pulling over officer”. Like – it really is a great example of policing in the US.

The lady is crazy – I am not looking forward to seeing her again in 4x05 – especially since I think this is what makes her question her judgement in 4x05 – causing her to decide to resign.

Texas sure has a lot of cops that just like to hang out in their gear with their guns – for a “party” – this is about the Mile Marker 23 scene – it was all performative to have that many resources there – first part of this arc that makes the cops look super stupid.

What is the age of retirement for active duty firefighters? They tend to keep the characters at a similar age to the actor playing them – Judd being 40ish like Jim, Paul being in his late 30’s like Brian. It seems like TK, Carlos, Grace, & Marjan are the same. I am not sure about Nancy & Mateo –

I love Grace & Tommy’s relationship – I love the chicken clucking conversation

I love the way they call each other out – but, always with love and actual advice or a well-served look.

I do like the way the director used the actors in the loft dinner scene – telling each actor different information to keep them all on their toes – it worked so well.

AT NO POINT DO I DOUBT THE LOVE BETWEEN CARLOS & TK – I just think a lot of this storyline could have been made cleaner – but when the primary goal is to find a way to blame TK – this is what you get.

An 8 WEEK wedding – that also needs to have a divorce preceding it (but only one of them knew this), Iris demanding to meet said unaware fiancé – like TK was at a job interview for a job he already thought he had – and his fiancé is just like “Oh its totally cool – you just aren’t allowed to have reactions or try to make this impossible wedding happen even though I am the one that put us in this position by my complete inability to address my own problems.” – like this was to set up the blame game.

They could have done the kidnapped storyline without the married part – or still kept the married part – but put the blame where it actually goes – on the guy that kept his legal status a secret from the man he agreed to marry.

Do they think they are making Owen look like anything other than incompetent at any aspect of his life with the exception of being a firefighter?

I thought the chemistry between Tommy & Charles was pretty good – but DAMN – the chemistry between her & Rev. parks is insane (I do know that they played a couple in a different show).

Tommy is so fucking stunning – like absolutely stunning. I don’t think I will survive when she wears the other black dress we saw in the promos – I am hoping it is in 4x07 which, by the title, sounds like a Tommy episode.

I love the Tommy/Owen scene in 4x02 – so fucking much – it’s my #2 scene of the episode – so perfect

The dialog – their expressions – their platonic chemistry all gave us this hilarious scene – but – please don’t take relationship advice from this man.

“I’m so flattered” followed by “You weren’t in it.” Was so needed – like, I love it so much.

Gee, who called Donna Burton being the body in the closet from the 4x04 promo? – oh yeah, me. (& I am sure plenty of others, but I knew there was a reason to say her name in 4x02)

Ronen’s acting has been fucking amazing this season (Rafa’s too, but a lot of people are so focused on Rafa that Ronen’s is overlooked). His eyes can break your heart or heal it on their own.

The facial expressions on these cast members are priceless - as someone with a very expressive face – I really appreciate it. You see how they feel a lot of the time, even when the dialog doesn’t give us that information.

The heartbreaking realization that he could be seen as a project to Carlos – or honestly, even worse, his life’s work – God that procession of expressions through out that scene was beautiful – and I FELT IT

I feel so bad for the Rev, thinking he was on a date with a gorgeous woman – only to find it was with the gorgeous woman, her best friends & their child, along with her daughters – he handled it so well.

I love the looks that Grace gives – she was giving them for me

The situational awareness that Owen Strand possesses is at a negative level – and keeps getting worse.

The loft scene is my favorite of the episode and one of my top 5 over all Tarlos scenes. The communication is beautiful – but tragic when we find out that TK was sitting with these thoughts since the day before – making him question everything – as they probably should have. –I think his question to Carlos was very valid.

I like it when people can realize that they aren’t broken – I like that Carlos showed us his vulnerability with this – that he actually responded to TK’s questions instead of joking or brushing them off.

Still can’t get over Judd being so oblivious to the fact he was part of the 3rd, 4th, & 5th wheels on his best friend’s date with their pastor. Or Grace’s response when she realized how clueless he was.

I love Grace calling her out – it was so funny & needed.

I like that one of the over all themes of 4x02 was humor – since most of the humor in the next 2 episodes were fairly unintentional I think.

[the-firebird69]

There's a lot of rain today so Sun didn't show up and Max sees it and these assholes start their s*** with that son this a****** next door so we looked into it start to attack him and we took him down and we pulled him apart that means we grabbed his sneering and cheering and leering and Jerry idiots jeering and pull them in and are questioning them and two of them broke very easily the third one started puking everywhere information and told us their plan over and over. And he broke right away. Pick up saying is not responsive to the treatment and we keep doing it and you keep saying it and he's saying it and saying it and our son says he just following cues it's really mean talking about your past crimes they're being little kids spoiled brats and repeating it and it gets you hit and who said also our son said and someone has your reiterate it cuz I see it hits you so the guy said I don't have to listen to someone who's jerking off forever and you went ahead and strive to question him in a little bit more and start saying this we can't stand your kid we can't stand the attitude we can't stand you you said so what you said so why we can't stand you at all ever. It looks up and says why should I care. So I took out my 45 and I said you should care and start rubbing it all over his face take care if I have a hair trigger or not my fingers on it my friends I'm an accidentally pull the trigger so he's smiling and says you won't do that so I did and he went deaf in one ear and I had to shoot him cuz I didn't want to ricochet and it seemed to care after that a little. No questioning still and he's smiling and saying s*** and his senile and he's kind of Swiss cheese but there is something else wrong with you people Oprah Winfrey is screwing around with me.

It was a sorry sacks s*** cuz like three of you who get it. And a posted what was going to stop you and they adjusted it for what your ammo was and you just sat there laughing like hyena. Now Trump is going to run around saying he's a hyena thinking it's cool and we're screwed

Lol

Anyways you did a great job for us and Tommy F did too and you're unaware of what you did. Shifts have been launching all day all over the planet different types and different sizes and it's working for us

Thor Freya

Zues Hera

Olympus

[lovehungrybean]

Safe and Sound

Summary: yn returns home to the twins and Her wife Wanda from a mission injured and Wanda gets frustrated with her recklessness.Includes fluff and angst.

This is my first ever fic so there may be a lot of rambling and mistakes but here’s to improving!

I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.Please be sure to leave any feedback or let me know what you would like me to write next.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Shit..” hands clutching your side as you practically fall out of your car, parked on the snow clad driveway of the home that you shared with your beautiful wife Wanda and your twin boys Tommy and billy.

You had just returned from a mission which you had only agreed to go on under the false pretence that it would last two days at most but here you were battered and bruised two months later finally back home.

As much as you should have remained at the med bay at least overnight you had managed to sneak out and drive back home with a bit of help from Natasha. She knew how much being away from Wanda and the boys was killing you. Natasha had always been able to read you like a book perhaps because she could see a lot of herself in you; both of you had never had a stable family all your life so she knew how important it was for you to protect the stability that you have created with Wanda.Plus she knew that you had survived far worse than broken ribs before.

So here you were fumbling around in your pocket trying to find your keys to open the door to your home.”finally….stupid key.” You mutter under your breath. Pushing the door open you step inside and straighten yourself up, effectively masking the pain in your right side and make your way into the house.

You can hear some cartoons playing on the tv coming from the living room; SpongeBob of course, the boys favourite.The smell of homemade paprikash fills your senses as you walk further into the home, closer to the kitchen where you can hear Wanda humming along to some song on the radio.leaning against the doorway you can’t help but admire your wife dressed in casual sweats and you notice that she’s wearing your hoodie; something she always does when your away with her hair pulled up into a messy bun. God have you missed her.

You stalk closer to her, still undetected and slip your arms around her waist.Feeling her flinch out of surprise but she instantly relaxes recognising your warmth;turning in your hold she looks at you surprise, relief and love clear on her face. ”Your home, I missed you so much baby” Wanda breathes out as her eyes fill with tears, before she can stop them they escape the confinement of her eyes.

“Hey…shhh don’t cry, I’m so sorry I was gone for so long; I would never have agreed to go if i knew it would last so long,” you say as you gently wipe the tears from her cheeks. Wanda wraps her arms around your neck, burying her face into your neck breathing in your familiar scent; you pull her in closer, staying silent; aware that she needs this time to collect her thoughts and believe that you are actually home and it isn’t her mind playing tricks.

The silence is cut short with excited screams; “BILLY!..Mums home, QUICK!!” Tommy comes sprinting into the kitchen. You let go of Wanda before kneeling down and open ring your arms wide, engulfing both your boys into a much needed hug. Ignoring the sharp pain that radiates through your side as Tommy and Billy both compete for a hug. The boys blissfully unaware of the pain growing in your side try to pull you to their room to show you the new toy that Wanda had got them whilst you were gone.

However, Wanda notices the grunt of pain and the way your face scrunches as you get up from your position on the floor, and decides to text Natasha asking her what happened. “Boys why don’t you go and wash your hands ready for dinner then you can show mum your new toys?” Wanda intercepts.

“But mummy, please we want mum to play with us, she promised she would play with us when she gets back home!” argues Tommy as Billy stands to the side, adorning a sad expression on his face.

You decide to interject “look boys if you listen to your mummy; then we can all go to the park tommorow; and how about a extra scoop of ice after dinner!” you try to bargain. The boys run off to the bathroom arguing about who gets the last scoop of chocolate flavoured ice cream, you shake your head “those boys and their ice cream”, you giggle as you turn back to Wanda.

Who now avoids your eyes a drastic change to minutes before. ”Your hurt.” She obviously states, you should have known she would notice; Wanda knows you better than you know yourself. She looks at you with a hard stare.

”Don’t worry I’m fine it’s just bruises, I’ve survived way worse” you attempt to reassure her stepping closer but to your surprise she takes a step back, “Don’t you dare lie to me yn, you were meant to stay at the med bay overnight, under observation!” she shouts as the tears return.

Natasha, of course. “Wanda, I…” You attempt to comfort her but before you can finish, the boys come back in having washed their hands; and Wanda harshly wipes the tears from her face turning to give Tommy and Billy their dinner. ” You should go clean up, I’ll leave your dinner in the microwave,” Wanda says coldly before you can reply she leaves the kitchen making her way to the dining room.

Defeatedly, you make your way upstairs to your bedroom looking around at the familiar space, your safe space. The only safe space you have ever had and you know it’s the same for Wanda too. She has lost so much in her life, everyone she has ever loved she has lost; first her parents, then Pietro. That’s why she gets so anxious, she doesn’t want to lose the family she has made with you. You on the other hand have always been alone, and never really had anything to lose but now you have everything to lose.

You freshen up, which doesn’t take long as Dr Cho had allready dressed your wounds at the compound before you snuck out.

Making your way downstairs, you see that Wanda and the boys are still in the dining room eating dinner, deciding to join them you take a seat at the dining table the seat next to Wanda opposite the boys, your designated seat.

You are greatful that the boys are oblivious of the awkwardness between their parents; telling you all about what they have been up to whilst you’ve been gone, how much they missed you and how they completed all their chores. Your attempts to engage with Wanda in conversation are in vain. She was right next to you but it felt as if she was in whole other world.

Dinner had been eaten and the dishes had been washed, now you were tucking your boys into bed as Wanda disappeared to your shared bedroom; giving you much needed one on one time with the twins. Tommys small voice interrupted the peaceful silence ”Mum, will you still be here tomorrow when we wake up?”, Billy also looked at you eyes filled with worry. You felt a heavy weight in your chest as guilt rushed over you, “of course buddy, i’m not leaving for that long again I pinky promise and you know I never ever break a pinky promise,” you held up your pinkies to Billy and Tommy which they reciprocated, feeling reassured, if only it was this easy with Wanda. ”I don’t like it when your gone mum and mummy doesn’t either, I think she cries too, her eyes are red and watery sometimes but I always give her extra cuddles because cuddles make everyone feel better” Billy adds.

Tommy is always loud and extroverted mind filled with thoughts of ice cream and toys like most other boys his age whereas Billy has always been a quite and observant boy, a true empath, just like Wanda. ”Your such a good boy billy, I’m sure mummy felt sooo much better with your cuddles, you give the bestest cuddles ever.” Kissing both the boys heads you turn off the light before leaving their room.

Making your way to your bedroom determined to make things right with Wanda, you notice that she is curled up under the covers on her side of the bed with her back facing you. Having already brushed your teeth you slip off your sweats and remove your hoodie, clad in just underwear and a large tshirt you slip into bed, you stare up at the cieling, the silence of the room thick as all you can hear are the occasional sniffles coming from Wanda. Deciding that you can’t take anymore you turn and move closer to Wanda, wrapping your arms around her waist pressing your chest to her back. Despite being frustrated by you not taking your health seriously, Wanda can’t help but relax under your feeling relieved that your home with her. She hasn’t been able to sleep properly the two months you’ve been gone, nightmares plaguing her dreams so she had been making do with short naps throughout the day. She can only sleep when your with her, it scares her how much she needs you, how much she craves your touch. She can’t live without you and you can’t live without her.

You feel relived that she’s letting you hold her, you gently move the hair that’s covering the back of her neck and rest your lips there breathing in her the scent. ”I’m so sorry Wanda, I know I should’ve listened to Dr Cho but I just wanted to be home with you and the boys, you guys are my medicine.” you whisper. Feeling Wanda turn in your arms, finally giving in, she stares into your eyes. The once cold stare is now warm, full of overwhelming love and care.

“Don’t apologise, I’m sorry I just worry so much yn…I can’t bare the thought of you being hurt and In pain, it’s frustrating when you don’t take things seriously, you think your invincible just like Pietro did…I can’t lose anyone else..”Wanda whimpers. You let out a shaky breath feeling angry at yourself for being so reckless, you have three people who need you now, you are not the lone, ruthless assassin that you once were. You can’t keep putting them through the turmoil of worrying whether you will be coming home in one piece or not.

You gently kiss Wanda, the feeling of her soft lips causing an eruption of butterflies in your stomach, even after almost a decade together it still feels like the first time. Silently you turn onto your back and Wanda rests her head on your chest, your heart beat instantly calming her. She tangle her legs with yours and clings onto you as if afraid you will stolen from her if she doesn’t, you rest your hands on her lower back as you hold her close.”I love you Wanda Maximoff yln, your the strongest person i know.” And finally Wanda drifts into a much needed peaceful slumber, safe and sound.

[mondscheinprinzessin]

For the Spotify wrapped 2021 2022 ask game for writers: 5, 45 and 75 :)

5. Opinions by Blind Channel

what about a scenario in which Blind Channel didn’t survive the jump up into fame and split up when personal problems added to it made it impossible for them to work together

of course the media is all over it and they definitely played a part in their parting

they had manufactured enough fake stories and spread many lies that even the guys sometimes couldn’t be sure what’s true and what not and their connection was tested till it snapped

Niko and Joel go solo, Joonas and Olli join another band, Tommi goes back to his old job, and Aleksi picks up production for other bands again and they rarely see each other again

the fic would follow them individually for a while, showing their struggles to be apart after so many years joined at the hip

how they can’t find the same sense in their current work as they did with the band, that something is just lacking

if it was a movie, it would show a split screen of Joel and Joonas playing and singing the same song in their separate apartments, unaware that the other is giving a performance of the same song with their whole heart aching while they remember playing that song together on stage

how Aleksi finds an old demo on his laptop and can’t help himself but work on it

how Olli is trying to come up with a bass line only to find one that would fit perfectly to that one song BC had been working at a long time ago but never finished, only to realize that his head and heart are not in it for his current project

how Tommi is searching for the excitement and chaos in his life but not able to find it with his co-workers being the opposite of his old friends and there not being any live performances anymore

how Niko writes song after song but none of them are perfect enough for him to record before he realizes that Joel’s voice is missing and without him he can’t finish a song

by a miracle they all run into each other at a party with other bands (because duh every band in Finland knows each other)

and they get the spark back and tada they get back together, shitting on what everyone else and media says

(my endings are seriously lacking, sorry)

45. Died Enough for You by Blind Channel

why is my brain immediately hooking onto abusive relationships again, what is my thing with them??

OR make it literally: superpower AU

Olli has the superpower to come back to life no matter how he gets killed; electrocuted? No problem. Getting shot? Also no problem. Eaten by sharks? No problem.

he works for the evil organization, making him the villain so to say who abuses his powers to fulfil his bosses plans

at one of his missions he collides with Joonas (literally, they run into each other while Olli is trying to find the artefact he’s supposed to steal while Joonas is there to, well….steal the same thing)

they make it a competition and Olli has to admit that he’s not as annoyed about the dude as he should be, has fun even (which is a rare treat in his heavily controlled life)

Joonas finds out his superpower when by the end Olli, because he’s distracted by Joonas, doesn’t notice the guard and gets shot

Joonas thinks he died but still takes the body with him (because that’s like an honorary code for them idk) and Olli comes to back at the headquarters for the company Joonas works for (more like a small group of people; hello Aleksi, Niko, Joel, and Tommi) which scares the shit out of the others but Olli insists he’s fine and that he has to go back but promises he won’t tell on his boss that Joonas had gotten the artefact and that Olli knows exactly where it is although he’s scared to get back home without it

sometime later he runs into Joonas again who tries to convince him Olli should leave his former life and come to work for Joonas and his group, but Olli refuses, too scared what could happen when the leader finds out where Olli has run off to and may try to kill them to get Olli back, his best asset

Joonas and his friends do some researching, find some stuff out that convinces Olli to join them (my first thought was they killed his family like wtf no reason to make it that sad) and there’s your happy end; the boyfriends who are thieves together🖤

75. Stoned Statues by Stoned Statues

something something fantasy maybe (oh god I’m bad with that but let’s try)

my first idea sounds awfully the same as Narnia, but let’s take a land that gets oppressed by an evil witch who crowned herself the queen

now her strategy is to transform every enemy into stone (she can’t do it to a whole group, but she has her means to sneak up on people granted to her by potions)

the guys are one big family basically and help the resistance to get their land back

there’s a mission some of them set out on, which is to help some families safely get into their territory, away from the witch’s henchmen

but the plan gets found out and some of them get abducted

maybe Joonas, Tommi, Aleksi, and Joonas? I somehow want Joel and Olli to go on an adventure together

and they not only need to find their friends, because when they do they need to find a solution to turn them back into people

no I haven’t thought so far yet, but there’s an happy end somewhere😅

[nev3rfound]

small changes have the biggest impact : b.b

being with bucky, you've learnt to be rather observant, but when it comes to small changes about yourself you seem to be rather oblivious. that is until you start to pick up on the small signs that you might be pregnant (1.3k)

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requested: yes! by the very sweet @marry-me-calum-hood warnings: none that I'm aware of, but if there any please let me know!

(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website without being credited, it has not been approved to be shared by me. all rights reserved.)

Standing in front of the mirror, you could see him eyeing you from the bed. He was watching your movements closely, noticing you swaying from side to side and glancing at your ass from various angles.

“Does my ass look bigger to you?” Running your hands over your curves, Bucky licks his lips. "James?"

Snapping Bucky out of his thoughts, your glare breaks his daydream. "I, I mean," He stutters over his words and watches your gaze lower to the floor. "baby, I mean," Rising to his feet, Bucky rushes over. Now resting his hands on your hips, he kisses your neck sweetly. "you know, back in my day,"

He listens as you groan loudly, pulling his hands off of you as you spin to face him.

"If you dare start one of your old man stories, Buck," You roll your eyes, moving past him to pick up the nearest hoodie and slip it on, exiting your bedroom before he can say anything else.

*

"So, you all know the plan?" Steve questions, looking around at the three of you before the door lowers.

Scoffing lightly beside you, Bucky rests his hand on your waist. "We know the drill, Captain." Bucky salutes, not missing Steve rolling his eyes as he picks up his shield. "How you feeling today, doll?"

Bucky isn't oblivious, far from it. He's noticed some small changes in your attitude of late, how much you're now tugging on clothes or hiding your body from him. You've been feeling queasy during training or sit it out entirely when usually you're volunteering to fight your boyfriend at any given opportunity.

"I don't know, Bucky." You admit quietly, not wanting to draw attention from either Nat or Steve whilst their backs remain turned. "My suits been feeling a bit snug, and I know Tony didn't have it dry cleaned so it's not shrunk."

Humming to himself, Bucky can't help his eyes from wandering over your body. "You look beautiful, Y/n. If anything you're looking curvier." He comments quietly to you, brushing his lips across your cheek with a smile before Steve glances back to see you both.

"You two good?" Steve asks.

"Yeah." You nod, moving away from Bucky and stand beside Natasha. "Let's do this." You force a smile on your lips as Bucky's words linger in your mind. Bucky doesn't mean any harm, and you know that, but for some reason, it's hitting you deeper than it should.

Exiting the jet with Natasha, you follow after her instead of going with Bucky. "Hey, you two alright, pal?" Steve notices the frown forming on Bucky's face and his eyebrows furrowing together as you turn left into the building whilst he heads right trailing behind Steve.

"I think so." Bucky states uncertainly. "Y/n's been feelin' a bit off." He explains, keeping his gun raised behind Steve.

Once inside the building, Steve keeps his shield up whilst Bucky remains behind. "Nat said the same to me earlier." Steve remarks. "Told me she's got this glow." He shrugs his shoulders, unaware of Bucky's eyes widening.

"Glowing?" Bucky repeats. "Oh my god." He laughs lightly to himself, starting to put the events of the past six weeks together. "I, I've gotta find Y/n."

"Buck," Steve sighs, glancing over his shoulder to see Bucky already exiting the building, muttering through the comms for your location.

"Hate to say lover boy but Y/n's back on the jet." Natasha groans, causing Bucky's pace to quicken.

"Is she okay? What happened?" Bucky questions with urgency seeing the jet coming into view.

"Relax, she was just sick." Natasha rolls her eyes, continuing through the building. "She thought it would be best to sit it out. we can handle it."

"Thanks again, Nat." Your voice quietly interrupts their line, and Bucky can feel his heart rate calming at the sound of your soft words, the reassurance you're fine and close by.

Forcing yourself upright you grab a hold of the nearest gun, keeping it trained on the door as movement begins to stir outside. Taking a deep breath, you position your gun, ready to fire as it opens.

"Woah, doll, it's me!" Bucky yells, holding his hands up as he's greeted with a gun cocked in his direction.

"Oh," A nervous laugh sounds from you before you lower the gun to your side. "sorry 'bout that, Buck."

Dropping his own gun, Bucky hesitantly walks toward you. "Baby, is everything okay?" Bucky scans your face, noticing how your brief smile drops, allowing yourself to relax and you shake your head.

"I, I'm not sure, James." You whisper, closing your eyes.

Bucky pulls you over to the seats on the sides of the jet, sitting beside you he rests your hands in his, brushing his thumb over your knuckles delicately.

"It's me, Y/n, you can tell me anything." He quietly reminds you.

"I know." You sigh, forcing your eyes open to face his, only to see him looking back at you with all the confidence in the world. "Bucky, I, I think I might be pregnant." An involuntary laugh escapes your lips, quickly followed by a small cry as you clasp your hand over your mouth, tearing it from Bucky's grasp.

"Oh, Y/n." Bucky hushes, lifting his arm to bring you into his embrace as you sob into his chest.

"Are you, are you disappointed? I, I haven't done a test yet, but it makes sense, right?" You ramble, staring down at the floor.

Removing his arm from around you, Bucky mutters your name. "You, you really think I'd be disappointed?" It hurts his heart, that you'd think something like this would upset him. "Doll, this is everything I've ever wanted, but only if you do too."

Reaching for your chin gently, Bucky lifts your head up to see tears lining your cheeks whilst your lips quiver. "You, you want this?" You manage to ask between sobs.

"With you, always." Bucky reassures you, barely having time to process before you wrap your arms around his neck, burying your face into his chest. Smiling to himself, Bucky rests his arm around your back, listening as your sobs subside. "We're going to be a family, Y/n." He states, listening to how natural it sounds rolling off his tongue.

"Then we better get you back in one piece." Natasha speaks up, breaking you two from your moment as she and Steve stand in the doorway with the files you all came for. "Can't have lil Natasha hurt." She winks before taking her seat opposite you.

"Or Steve," Steve comments, lowering his shield before patting Bucky's arm lightly.

"Yeah, no," You chuckle, remaining in Bucky's arms as you look over to your friends. "but nice try, guys."

Natasha smirks to herself whilst Steve tries not to frown. "Either way, we're getting you back in one piece, that's our niece or nephew in there." Steve points to your stomach, causing Bucky to cover it with his hand protectively.

"Don't you two worry," Bucky smiles down to you. "we've got it covered."

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