inhum3n

[inhum3n]

TIME IS RUNNING OUT!

Shahed muhammed is a 20 yr old who is trying to raise funds to save herself and her family. Her father is a heart patient and her younger siblings are suffering from severe hepatitis from the polluted water of Gaza.

She has only raised 17.1k out of the 50k she needs.

With rumours of rafah crossing opening up soon, shahed has very little time left to evacuate her little siblings out of Gaza, if not herself and her parents, so they can get to safety and have access to the medical treatment they need.

SHAHED HAS TO GET TO $30K IN THE NEXT WEEK

WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP:

For just $5, donate to shahed's gfm so you can enter the raffle being conducted at @journalsforpalestine by @turian and stand to win one of these lovely journals. All of them will be shipped internationally.

This gfm was verified and appears on the list of vetted fundraisers maintained by hussein @/el-shab-hussein and nairuz @/nabulsi (#224) so please dont hesitate to share and donate!

Apologies

@ghelgheli @sayruq @northgazaupdates @sar-soor @heritageposts

@meaganfoster @briarhips @mazzikah @mahoushojoe @rhubarbspring

@stuckinapril @mavigator @lacecap @socalgal @chilewithcarnage

@riding-with-the-wild-hunt @communistchilchuck @dykesbat @watermotif

@vague-humanoid @criptochecca @komsomolka @neptunerings @feluka

@7bitter @tortiefrancis @toiletpotato @fromjannah @omegaversereloaded

@kibumkim @neechees @mangocheesecakes @kyra45 @marnota

@irhabiya @wellwaterhysteria @deepspaceboytoy @post-brahminism

@kummatty @papenathys @aristotels @bookskittychad

@heritageposts @thatdiabolicalfeminist @amygdalae @ot3

[inhum3n]

Hello,,

My name is Ashraf Alanqar, and I am 30 years old. My wife, Widad Issa, and I have a one-and-a-half-year-old son named Bakr. We used to live peacefully in the Al-Shuja’iya neighborhood, in a house we built just a week before the war began. I worked as a farmer and owned a large chicken farm that provided for my family.

Beloved of my heart (Bakr)

Then the war came and destroyed everything. Our home was reduced to ashes, and our chicken farm was obliterated. We lost our home, our livelihood, and even our basic rights. We've been forced to move from place to place in northern Gaza, simply trying to survive.

My House before...

Me.. while trying to recognize what has happened..

The terror we feel as we flee from heavy bombardment is unbearable. The sound of explosions around us, the constant fear as we navigate through the rubble of destroyed homes searching for safety and food, haunts us every day. My son Bakr is constantly scared and suffers from severe malnutrition and skin diseases due to the lack of food, water, and sanitation.

Our beautiful memories.. :(

We urgently need your help. I am asking for your support to fund this campaign to move my family to a safe place, provide us with a proper home, and ensure we have enough food, water, and medical care.

Baker used to play with his dog.

Your donation, no matter how small, can make a significant difference in our lives. We desperately need your support and solidarity during this difficult time. Together, we can restore hope and safety to Ashraf and his family.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for considering my plea. Your support means more than words can express. Together, we can turn a story of loss into a journey of hope and resilience.

With deepest gratitude,

Ashraf & the Family

[inhum3n]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Innocence Project (@innocenceproject)

[inhum3n]

TIME IS RUNNING OUT!

Shahed muhammed is a 20 yr old who is trying to raise funds to save herself and her family. Her father is a heart patient and her younger siblings are suffering from severe hepatitis from the polluted water of Gaza.

She has only raised 17.1k out of the 50k she needs.

With rumours of rafah crossing opening up soon, shahed has very little time left to evacuate her little siblings out of Gaza, if not herself and her parents, so they can get to safety and have access to the medical treatment they need.

SHAHED HAS TO GET TO $30K IN THE NEXT WEEK

WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP:

For just $5, donate to shahed's gfm so you can enter the raffle being conducted at @journalsforpalestine by @turian and stand to win one of these lovely journals. All of them will be shipped internationally.

This gfm was verified and appears on the list of vetted fundraisers maintained by hussein @/el-shab-hussein and nairuz @/nabulsi (#224) so please dont hesitate to share and donate!

Apologies

@ghelgheli @sayruq @northgazaupdates @sar-soor @heritageposts

@meaganfoster @briarhips @mazzikah @mahoushojoe @rhubarbspring

@stuckinapril @mavigator @lacecap @socalgal @chilewithcarnage

@riding-with-the-wild-hunt @communistchilchuck @dykesbat @watermotif

@vague-humanoid @criptochecca @komsomolka @neptunerings @feluka

@7bitter @tortiefrancis @toiletpotato @fromjannah @omegaversereloaded

@kibumkim @neechees @mangocheesecakes @kyra45 @marnota

@irhabiya @wellwaterhysteria @deepspaceboytoy @post-brahminism

@kummatty @papenathys @aristotels @bookskittychad

@heritageposts @thatdiabolicalfeminist @amygdalae @ot3

[inhum3n]

https://twitter.com/Tinu?t=ch-B3NMf3AllyVmLZyvtMg&s=09

[inhum3n]

Help Tinu, a back female disabled activist if you can. Just $5 can make a big difference. I donated 5.

https://twitter.com/Tinu?t=ch-B3NMf3AllyVmLZyvtMg&s=09.

[inhum3n]

Help of you can!

https://twitter.com/Tinu?t=g92jYU3lgsjdWiTn2RriVw&s=09

[inhum3n]

Help if you can!

[inhum3n]

I have a side blog where I talk about lore in kpop mvs. I posted this since as a consumer of kpop its necessary to be aware of the anti blackness that occurs. I thought id put it here too since I have more followers here.

Maybe some day I'll start posting about stray kids universe. But for now I thought id put these videos in for kpop fans to educate ourselves on the pervasive anti blackness in kpop and what the idols we like so much have done. Instead of just holding onto this "perfect" image of them for our own comfort. The second video is of a YouTuber (essence is her name I believe) talking about Hans rap and how it hurt her. It's really important we listen to black kpop fans when they talk about their hurt! I hope those who come across this post take the time to learn and figure out how they want to proceed in their consumption of kpop.

[inhum3n]

New paper published!

Maladaptive Daydreaming and Its Relationship with Psychopathological Symptoms, Emotion Regulation, and Problematic Social Networking Sites Use: a Network Analysis Approach

The present study investigated the patterns of mutual associations between maladaptive daydreaming-related variables (MD, i.e., interference with life and somatosensory retreat), psychopathological symptoms (i.e., depression, anxiety, somatization, obsessive–compulsive, interpersonal sensitivity, psychoticism), emotion regulation strategies (i.e., cognitive reappraisal and expressive suppression), and problematic social networking sites use (PSNSU)... Results showed that, compared to non-MDers, MDers showed significantly higher scores in all the study variables, except for cognitive reappraisal. Moreover, in the MDers network, the following patterns were identifed: (i) no connections between the cluster of psychopathological symptoms, and neither cognitive reappraisal nor expressive suppression; (ii) a connection, through obsessive–compulsive (OC) symptoms, between the cluster of psychopathological symptoms and MD-interference with life; and (iii) a connection between PSNSU and MD-interference with life. ... Overall, higher scores on psychopathological symptoms in MDers provide support to the assumption that MD is a clinical condition, in which OC symptoms may play a critical role. Additionally, the association of PSNSU and MD-interference with life suggests that MDers might rely on PSNSU as a maladaptive emotion regulation strategy. Under this scenario, MD may be regarded as a potential vulnerability factor for PSNSU.

[inhum3n]

Check out this QPOC store! Give support if you can! I think I'll buy one later

[inhum3n]

Who do we want to comfort us?

This is something I’ve come to realize recently.

So we are aware that MaDD is a coping mechanism. A way to satisfy some sort of hole in our present life or to escape. I want to focus on the former here. That being, MaDD acting as a compensating mechanism. I am someone who has struggled with emotionally expressing myself as well with alot of feelings of invalidation. I think I’ve used MaDD to live out my emotions in scenarios where they feel justified. And like I've mentioned in previous posts I think MaDD provides me a place to spit out all those negative emotions without fear of consequences.

All of this is to say that I believe that I daydream to compensate for what I feel like I lack in my real life. And recently I’ve come to the realization that one of the things I feel I lack is comfort from those around me. At times I am struck with a strong desire to be comforted. And I think I’ve used my daydreams as a stand in for when I couldn’t reach out to those around me.

And then something changed.

It can be pretty difficult to be self aware of oneself when you experience maladaptive daydreaming. It can be hard at times to get to the root as to why your daydreams manifest the way they do. At least it has been for me. If I am to get to the root of things I really have to consciously take a step back and analyze my daydreams. Which I rarely do given that I’m nearly always submerged in them, hence the difficulty with self-awareness. 

A little awhile ago, after noticing this re-occurring desire for comfort I stood back and asked myself, “So who am I desiring comfort from in my real life”. My thoughts being that all my daydreams stretched back to the real world and that by noting what I wanted in my actual life I could satisfy these wants, and thus maybe dampen the daydreaming. 

But as I searched my mind as to who I desired comfort from in my life my mind came back nearly blank. In fact I found that when running through all the people in my life, my question wasn’t “Do I want comfort from this person?” but rather “If I had to choose who I wanted to get comfort from who would it be?”. I came up with one person. This is all to say that I suddenly realized that I didn’t want the people in my life to comfort me at all. I think originally I did, but somewhere along the road it changed. And I noted in numb surprise that I wanted comfort specifically from my paras. I wanted their attention and affection, not anyone’s else.

This may not seem like news to some of you. But for me it was. I assumed that the reason why I sought out comfort from my pars was because I couldn’t do that in my real life. And I do think this was the case initially. But in my effort to forge comfort I got so attached to the way my paras provided it that I stopped wishing to receive it from actual people. This is not good. And I have to say it was bit of sad realization. 

i may have to write a post about what “getting comfort” looks like in my paracosms. It’s misleading, making it sound like I daydream of back rubs and affirming words, but more often than not my daydreams are of my parame in the act of desperately seeking out comfort from their paras. Yes I may write more about that later.

But for now, this new realization was something I wanted to post. I think at times I start to believe that I’m not that attached or “into” my paracosms. That they’re just a fun little side distraction, but then I have these realizations and I am forced to face some bitter truths...

[inhum3n]

If I am not daydreaming I am overthinking. If I am not overthinking I am daydreaming.

[inhum3n]

Here are some other links that provide diagnostic criteria and measuring system you can use.

https://www.somer.co.il/images/MD/Eng-MDS-16.pdf

- 16 item maladaptive daydreaming scale, Eli Somer was a part of the creation of it.

https://www.somer.co.il/images/MD/MD_diagnostic_criteria.pdf

Lists criteria for Maladaptive daydreamers

i made this a long time ago and for some reason never posted it

immersive daydreaming VS. maladaptive daydreaming

edit: added image description courtesy of @arolovecoric​ (tysm!!)

ID: a Venn diagram of Immersive Daydreaming and Maladaptive Daydreaming.

Immersive Daydreaming:

healthy coping mechanism

is able to control time spent daydreaming, and when they daydream (can stop whenever they choose to)

daydreaming does not interfere with personal, social, academic, or occupational success

prefers or prioritizes real life over daydreaming

daydreaming has an overall positive impact on daify life and mental health

Overlap:

often daydreams when bored or distressed

intense sense of visual and/or auditory absorption and immersion while daydreaming

intricate daydream world(s)

strong attachment to daydream characters or “paras”

daydreams often affected by real world events

daydreaming accompanied by repetitive movement (pacing, rocking, tapping, etc.)

daydreaming triggered or enhanced by music

daydreaming accompanied by vocal noises and/or facial expressions

daydreamer often finds comfort in their daydreams

often daydreams about an idealized self/life

Maladaptive Daydreaming:

unhealthy coping mechanism

daydreaming becomes an addiction

trouble controlling time spent daydreaming, and when they daydream

distressed when unable to daydream, or when daydreaming is interrupted

daydreaming interferes with personal, social, academic, and/or occupational success

trouble focusing on completing daily tasks and chores

becomes neglectful of own basic needs (eating, hygiene, sleep, etc.) due to daydreaming

numerous failed attempts to control, cut back, or stop daydreaming

emotions and mood heavily affected by daydreams

deep dissatisfaction with real life due to its inability to live up to daydreams

feels shame/embarrassment about their daydreaming

may experience intrusive daydreams (violent, sexual, or otherwise disturbing daydreams)

mental health negatively affected by daydreaming

End ID

[inhum3n]

some places to start if you think you might be a maladaptive daydreamer

the maladaptive daydreaming proposed diagnostic criteria: https://href.li/?https://www.somer.co.il/images/MD/MD_diagnostic_criteria.pdf

link to the MDS (maladaptive daydreaming scale, a 16 part questionnaire to help determine if you could possibly have MaDD): https://href.li/?https://daydreamresearch.wixsite.com/md-research/measures

The International Consortium for Maladaptive Daydreaming Research: https://daydreamresearch.wixsite.com/md-research

Eli Somer’s (the psychologist who “discovered” MaDD) youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/SomerClinic 

Guide to Maladaptive Daydreaming: Overcoming Fantasy Addiction: https://maladaptivedaydreamingguide.wordpress.com/guide/

healthline article on maladaptive daydreaming: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/maladaptive-daydreaming

[inhum3n]

Sometimes i forget madd is a mental health issue

hey there. this is something that has come to my mind tonight

I have this whole blog dedicated to talking about my experiences, yet I still find myself forgetting what this all ultimately means. Like I forget that MaDD could be a serious mental health issue for me and I just push that aside because I’ve been doing this for most of my life. I am at a disadvantage of understanding how it affects me since I don’t have a blueprint of what a MaDD-less life is supposed to be like.

Just tonight I was reflecting on how MaDD really restricts my ability to healthfully and maturely address my emotional reactions. This is worrisome for situations where I am at fault and really need sit down and think about my actions. But its like the fear of doing that...the fear of facing those emotions in the context of my own life...it feels like too much. So I run off to my paracosms where my parame goes through something shitty, and this makes me feel less guilty about my present real-life actions. And I realize I still do that, I was doing that just a little while ago. I use it to assuage my guilt. 

I do wonder if maybe its ok as long as I only use the daydreaming as a calming technique and then I can address the situation later. but its easier to be complacent. even now i struggle with it. sorry this is just a train of thought i needed to get out. maybe this a part of me trying to face my own feelings outside the context of my paracosms.

[inhum3n]

The daydreaming doesnt help

well shit..its been awhile. I kinda just wanted to add on to my last idea from my post about the dark side of maladaptive daydreaming. To summarize that post I basically say that the reason why my daydreams get so dark is because I use my daydreaming as a safe space to express negative emotions. And rather than having a comforting daydream to assuage my negative feelings, I have dark ones where I can “externalize” these bad emotions.

Here’s my addtional take: I don’t think this method of externalizing is effective in the long run. For one, I have noticed that my daydreams expressing my bad emotions always have a higher intensity than my situation in real life. So lets say in real life, I gave a speech in front of my class and my voice cracked. I am so humiliated and frustrated by this. So I externalize these emotions in my daydream. But in my daydream, it’s so much darker. So say, my parame does the same thing in their world, but now everyone in that classroom points it out. They laugh, mock, and bully my parame. This is a pretty light example, but I hope you get the gist.

What I’m getting to is that I’ve worked myself into a repetitive cycle. I express these negative emotions in my paracosm, because I feel that to express them in real life would be overdramatic of me. That it’s ridiculous for me to complain or vent at all. But by creating this situation in my paracosm (thats supposed to work as coping mechanism) that is so much worse than what it was in real life, I feel even more guilty for being upset by it and I feel like it is even more ridiculous for me to open up about. So what do I do to deal with my initial negative emotions AND this newfound guilt, I put my parame through some more shit. And it just loops and loops.

Whats the point of this fucking coping mechanism if it only exacerbates my previous negative feelings? 

Also I’ve noticed how daydreaming really is only a short term solution. While at times it does re-encourage this guilt and invalidation of my feelings, alot of the other times it gives a little bit of solace. BUT, only for a short amount of time. So something bad happens in my day to day life. I daydream as a way to cope. The daydreaming helps a little, but then later the same negative emotions come back so I start daydreaming again. It seems, that while I use my daydreams to externalize my emotions, I still fail to fully process them. So I’m left re-experiencing the same negative emotions again and again, never fully working through them, but using daydreaming a temporary pain reliever. It’s like daydreaming was originally supposed to be just this temporary pain reliever, and after using it I should acutally calmly address my real life situation. But now I have become addicted to the temporary solution. I am stuck in a perpetual state of dissociation and rumination.

And I’ve seen this. There are things that I experienced months to years ago that I am still using daydreams to externalize the negative emotions from. And dwelling on these past events also brings more negative emotions in my present.

So yeah, it kinda feels like I’m just fucked.

This is really all I have to say...