#for like 3-5 hours lol
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feeling The Dread and The Sadness today. SAD
#fucked up and evil#i think i’m really just anxious about having to visit my family in 2 weeks. i really hate leaving my House and also. i think it’s exhausting#so much Social Performance in one week. and i’m not very social to begin with. i feel like i need to recover after hanging out with people#for like 3-5 hours lol#ALSO#the manufacturers that nearly all the pharmacies around here order from just DONT have my kind of testosterone#i have missed my shot for 2 weeks now and tomorrow will be week 3 of missing it and i think it’s really messing me up emotionally#i have to call my doctor again tomorrow to get them to send it to another pharmacy to see if those guys have it bc apparently the fred#meyer around here orders from a different manufacturer#shout out to my regular rite aid pharmacist who said i was a Good Customer and wanted to keep me there but understood why i was looking at#other places to get it. he told me what pharmacy to check. thank you king 🙏🙏🙏#so hopefully they have it in stock. i feel so upset i’ve nearly missed 3 weeks of shots now. i’m scared i will get a period again
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pegoryu valentine :3
#p5#persona 5#persona 5 royal#ryuji sakamoto#sakamoto ryuji#pegoryu#persona 5 protagonist#akira kurusu#ren amamiya#i made this last year LOL#sorry for not posting </3 i forget#idk when i'll post again</3#but beleive in me ... please.... its all i have...#i just finished a big assignment in uni im so tired#i typed 5000 words in two hours#anyways i like pegoryu ryuji would bounce his leg when hes nervous#i need to replay p5 games at some point tbh the motivation isn't there for p5 anymore sad emoji
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robot yuri (i finished persona 3)
#hey guys guess who my favorite character in this game was lol#anyway if im wrong about sophia dont tell me i just bought p5s like yesterday ive only known her for about 3 hours of gameplay total#persona#persona 3#persona 5 strikers#skribbles#FINALLY defeated this godawful artblock unfortunately the game that defeated it came out in 2006 sorry everyone
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in honor of spending 100+ hours on my gale run
#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#bg3#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate 3#2024#do not @ me bc of cursed multiclass its for rp reasons (<---- i said like a liar)#its bc i wanted to play a sorc but to have gale as a wizard anyway :d#and i had to play gale not to romance him again#tactician is so much fun i spend 3 hours defeating ketheric it was the worst but i did house of grief on third (?) try#last time is took 5 hours lol
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happy bday!!!! suit time!!
jade
dave
rose
beta kids
alpha kids
#john egbert#413#homestuck#hs#maybe ill do a post with all the bday suit kids too so theyre all together#lovisas art#i was planning to do a suit john wayyyy back in december when i did the other kids for their bdays#expected it to be hard to get back into the style and idea but i ended up doing this one in like 3 hours from start to finish#by the time this sees the light of day this will have been sitting in my drafts for 5 days lol#anyway gravity never heard of her
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I was trying to eat noodles neatly and for some reason I got sad midway. So I drew them messy eating a biscuit and a strawberry to combat sad noodle blues.
#Ugh I could've made it messier though.#I tried looking at how the strawberry juice look as it's getting bitten. But looking at a closeup of a mouth eating is kinda uncomfortable#I would need to be paid to look at that again. I dropped it and just winged it. Lol#Hm. I should've at least looked up how goopy it should look. But eh. Drawings finished.#I heard wild strawberries are sour? But these ARE giant strawberries. So this might be a special special kind of strawberry.#I'm not like other strawberries. 😤🍓 Lol#I can't remember what an actual strawberry taste. People made it look pretty good though.#Then again people also made dragon fruit look tasty and it turned out it just tastes like a very very desaturated pear. Lol#Hmmmm but also then again. They also make cherries look good and I LOVE cherries. 🤷♀️#That ain't the giant Crumbl cookie if anyone's wondering. Connie would probably never spend money on a Crumbl. That's a home made biscuit.#Bruh I can't spell biscuit#I watched someone biting on what I think is a Crumbl and they spit it out. And the pieces sounded like concrete as it hit the table 😆😆😆#connverse#connie maheswaran#steven quartz universe#Lion SU#su#steven universe#skedoobles#Ah. Also scribbling this because I needed a break after burning out 3 hours of a commission's allotted time just figuring out what pose#to settle on. So like I only have five hours left to work on their piece. 😬#my shiz#Waitaminuteee in case I unintentionally relayed it wrong. I'm not going to actually just make that allotted commission time just 5 hours no#I recognize not being able to settle a pose for THAT long in a commission is skill issue on my part so I'm not going to carve out 3 hours#Plus at least now I have poses that I *could* make a YCH out of. The body measures are going to be limited however 🤔
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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day 259
haha :)
#day 259#year 5#john egbert#homestuck#IM BACK it turns out i just needed a lot more recovery time from the trip than i thought#i didnt get to sleep much the whole 3 days i was there bc the motel beds were hard as FUCK#and it was like a 12 hour drive there and a 14 hour drive back home (we took a lot of breaks)#and even with the breaks it was a longass day of driving#so i have spent most of this weekend unconscious lol#i think im mostly recovered tho so back 2 the art grind gamers
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updated Sleight ref!!
#i changed his colors !!#treat this as a suggestion than a solid ref. i spent like 3 hours drawing and redrawing the legs bc i couldnt get the shape right so if u#wanna draw them more planti or digi i do not mind ^_^ get silly with it!! same goes for pelt pattern do whatevr u want with it#the pelt pattern is loosely based on a snowshoe cat which was fun to play with. as u can see they kinda have a butterfly motif going on#if u squint the ear tufts kinda resemble luna moths or swallowtails with the long tail at the end of the wings#i was kinda torn about changing the costume color but it clashed too much with the new color palette so i had to change it#i didnt include the cape here so its easier to see the costume but ill draw it another time if i remember lol#its also a lil hard to see but i put pinstripes on their pants but thats optional. their design is pretty flexible anyway#god im pretty attached to this guy already. hes like semi fan character semi regular character... oc... thing#i should draw more furries. i followed some furry artists for giggles recently and its true what they say. u need furries in your life#btw while i was drawing this i was fooling around while trying to figure out his costume color and colored it as kaito kids suit for fun#and i just stared at it for a solid 5 minutes before saving a picture. maybe ill post it later#my art#myart#my oc#oc#furry art#fur#furry#laika's comet#laika's comet oc#fan character#sleight#ref sheet#oc ref sheet
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you put a stop to that sweet, sweet fairytale kingdom
that is the distorted world where i
met you
shuake week day 1: fairtytales / reunion / secret relationship
#hiiii all my stuff for shuake week is so out of point do NOT MIND IT#our light lives so rent free in my head i start crying everytime im always in pain#idk that that is where i met you is so……….intimate idk LOL#also i will never draw a background again this made me lose braincells i was suffering for like 10 hours#shuake#shuakeweek2023#p5r#jokers hair took 3 years off my life#akechi goro#persona 5 protagonist#my art#doodle#doodles
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wip posting just to get something out there, and it's def a mixed bag!! the only thing more inconsistent than my posting schedule is my art style RIP
#wip#yapping below#1. sinnohtrio group pic where nothing bad has happened yet... dedicated sinnoh post coming soon#2. personalizing dawn and lyra's togekisses with different coloring and markings based on region. there's lyra's omelette :]#3. timeskip red and leaf except it's just pikachu#4. top left is all the assets i made for my cs final project! a little cherrim themed browser game#then there's sprites for my champion dawn; cool concept methinks but it's definitely a work in progress. peep the giratina hairclips#some vaugely lugia/ho-oh inspired protag ideas for a hgss sequel#anddd a bunch of background doodles. goldenrod flower shop and a very saturated mt. silver#in timeskip there shall be a proper town at mt. silver's base to officially bridge kanto and johto (and make lyra's work commute easier)#5-7 is me spitballing ideas abt pokemon biology#dratini & dragonair are forever sea snakes to me!!! though i do enjoy the amphibian interpretations#also i didn't know dragonite island was already a thing from pokeani... rip wyverse dragon master lore#i think crobat looks goofy no matter how you stylize it. silver and his big bumbling bat that insists on grooming its trainer. so unserious#there's a togekiss page too but then i remembered egg groups are a thing so i'm revising parts of it#i spent so long trying to come up with a reasonable wing-to-body ratio for togekiss and crobat. literally useless when dragonite can#apparently fly around the globe in 16 hours. are you Kidding me. dragons weren't even merging with jet planes until gen 3.#OK that is all. sorry for the lack of uploads wah#i'm like a ferret hoarding all my doodles until the quantity > quality lever switches in my brain to give the 👍 to post#i did made a spam blog but who knows if i'll actually post on there lol! probably for non-pkmn related stuff
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sleepy morning with the boys
#ts4#simblr#ts4 edit#ts4 render#sims 4#myedits#kelly#dhestyn#i apologize for the long post#this originally had 6 photos for a grid format but#i don't really like the other 3 so. yea.#full disclosure it is actually very rare for kelly to wake up at the same time as dhes#kel is literally a cat. he will sleep 16 hours a day if dhes lets him#& dhes gets out of bed at like 4:30/5 every morning#he'll cook a full breakfast & do a load of laundry & go for a jog before going to work#he also usually feeds duder bc if he doesn't she will yell & bother kelly until he wakes up#kel has to be woken up gently or he'll get cranky lol#he tends to wake up later in the morning & pick up lunch for everyone at the shop before walking to work#then the boys will drive home together at the end of their shifts#dani kind of just lets them come & go whenever they want. they mostly make their own hours#she doesn't care as long as they show up for work at some point
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darius is hot,, hes like a walking heater, he usually has people by his side when they need to warm up or something. especially lilith, she abuses this constantly lmao. girl is always so cold n being limited to ice magic sucks so she loves to just,, hang off his arm lol
#the owl house#toh#hc#headcanon#darius deamonne#lilith clawthorne#once again it is 3 in the morning and i need to unscramble my thoughts#i have school in like 5 hours lol
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i just went to bed, then 15 minutes later got out of bed and turned the lights on, grabbed a pencil and sticky note, and began frantically calculating my total possible annual leave between now and December 2025. Again.
just in case anyone is wondering just how meticulous and obsessive i am over future travel and time off
#it seems more insane in person when you can see how many dates and numbers i wrote down#i do this literally all the time when bored#i never take a day off that isnt travel related lol#i had the chance to do it 3 times this month but instead i decided to work 9 hours days next week and week after next#so that i dont have to take any time#i could also save myself another 2 days leave if i worked 10 hour days the next two weeks after that#but idk if i hate myself enough for that#i also can earn credit time by voluntarily working over timr for up to 3 days total credit.#i use this as much as possible.#aaaaaand i get comp time for other work after hours (like my 5 hours from working on a Saturday in august that i havent touched yet)#i am literally insane about this btw.#my calculations this year assume i am not taking black friday off. if i do i will recalculate#anyway. in case you're ever like 'how does she take all these trips'#the answer is that i just obsessively track every single hour to the point where i'm working a year and a half in advance 😃
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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!
#cats#holiday#OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few#days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart#rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart#so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag#and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day#last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few#hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent#ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect#because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make#me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these#'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a#few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is#getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better#and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo#I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c#Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after#like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was#doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally#ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully#whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos#ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely#though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart#stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive#things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***
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"likes don't do anything" they do
"there's no algorithm" there is
"well nobody uses the for you tab" I do
"reblog all art and fics you see" there's no thought put into that. if this does work on people, then it's just pity engagement borne out of guilt rather than genuine interest, which is arguably worse than having none, because it's totally hollow.
#if I make art of my ocs who I'm personally fond of and spent a few days drawing just right and it gets 3 reblogs then it gets 3 reblogs#it's rational to feel a little disappointed sure. but I can't do anything about that. it's just luck#and I got Very lucky accumulating a few thousand followers on my main-turned-art-only blog off the back of when m.oomin was very popular#(tho realistically many of those users are probably inactive/passive followers now)#and having this number of people tuned into my posts Still only gets me a couple dozen notes on original stuff.#every 3 years or so something might blow up. like that bugs bunny comic lol. and I did Not expect it to#especially bc it happened about a year after I shared it as well.#it can happen any time. so don't feel discouraged when your art doesn't get noticed right away#the one advantage this website has is that there's far less of a fomo culture compared to other socials where trends come and go in a week#and people will still interact with older posts. especially bc it's easier to find what you want through the tagging system. sort of.#there's really no way to predict this or aim for large engagement! oh unless you're specifically catering to the current hot topic#like d.unmeshi is wiiiildly popular right now. I've seen comics get 5-digit notes in under 48 hours 'cause more eyes are on it.#but if it's not something you personally like and you're only creating things for the attention then you're gonna be unhappy#and people will inevitably move on.#I'd much rather swing my art back around every few months or so until it finds someone it resonates with#than make people who were never planning to engage with it feel bad for no reason
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