#for like 3-5 hours lol
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feeling The Dread and The Sadness today. SAD
#fucked up and evil#i think i’m really just anxious about having to visit my family in 2 weeks. i really hate leaving my House and also. i think it’s exhausting#so much Social Performance in one week. and i’m not very social to begin with. i feel like i need to recover after hanging out with people#for like 3-5 hours lol#ALSO#the manufacturers that nearly all the pharmacies around here order from just DONT have my kind of testosterone#i have missed my shot for 2 weeks now and tomorrow will be week 3 of missing it and i think it’s really messing me up emotionally#i have to call my doctor again tomorrow to get them to send it to another pharmacy to see if those guys have it bc apparently the fred#meyer around here orders from a different manufacturer#shout out to my regular rite aid pharmacist who said i was a Good Customer and wanted to keep me there but understood why i was looking at#other places to get it. he told me what pharmacy to check. thank you king 🙏🙏🙏#so hopefully they have it in stock. i feel so upset i’ve nearly missed 3 weeks of shots now. i’m scared i will get a period again
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pegoryu valentine :3
#p5#persona 5#persona 5 royal#ryuji sakamoto#sakamoto ryuji#pegoryu#persona 5 protagonist#akira kurusu#ren amamiya#i made this last year LOL#sorry for not posting </3 i forget#idk when i'll post again</3#but beleive in me ... please.... its all i have...#i just finished a big assignment in uni im so tired#i typed 5000 words in two hours#anyways i like pegoryu ryuji would bounce his leg when hes nervous#i need to replay p5 games at some point tbh the motivation isn't there for p5 anymore sad emoji
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robot yuri (i finished persona 3)
#hey guys guess who my favorite character in this game was lol#anyway if im wrong about sophia dont tell me i just bought p5s like yesterday ive only known her for about 3 hours of gameplay total#persona#persona 3#persona 5 strikers#skribbles#FINALLY defeated this godawful artblock unfortunately the game that defeated it came out in 2006 sorry everyone
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in honor of spending 100+ hours on my gale run
#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#bg3#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate 3#2024#do not @ me bc of cursed multiclass its for rp reasons (<---- i said like a liar)#its bc i wanted to play a sorc but to have gale as a wizard anyway :d#and i had to play gale not to romance him again#tactician is so much fun i spend 3 hours defeating ketheric it was the worst but i did house of grief on third (?) try#last time is took 5 hours lol
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happy bday!!!! suit time!!
jade
dave
rose
beta kids
alpha kids
#john egbert#413#homestuck#hs#maybe ill do a post with all the bday suit kids too so theyre all together#lovisas art#i was planning to do a suit john wayyyy back in december when i did the other kids for their bdays#expected it to be hard to get back into the style and idea but i ended up doing this one in like 3 hours from start to finish#by the time this sees the light of day this will have been sitting in my drafts for 5 days lol#anyway gravity never heard of her
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I was trying to eat noodles neatly and for some reason I got sad midway. So I drew them messy eating a biscuit and a strawberry to combat sad noodle blues.
#Ugh I could've made it messier though.#I tried looking at how the strawberry juice look as it's getting bitten. But looking at a closeup of a mouth eating is kinda uncomfortable#I would need to be paid to look at that again. I dropped it and just winged it. Lol#Hm. I should've at least looked up how goopy it should look. But eh. Drawings finished.#I heard wild strawberries are sour? But these ARE giant strawberries. So this might be a special special kind of strawberry.#I'm not like other strawberries. 😤🍓 Lol#I can't remember what an actual strawberry taste. People made it look pretty good though.#Then again people also made dragon fruit look tasty and it turned out it just tastes like a very very desaturated pear. Lol#Hmmmm but also then again. They also make cherries look good and I LOVE cherries. 🤷♀️#That ain't the giant Crumbl cookie if anyone's wondering. Connie would probably never spend money on a Crumbl. That's a home made biscuit.#Bruh I can't spell biscuit#I watched someone biting on what I think is a Crumbl and they spit it out. And the pieces sounded like concrete as it hit the table 😆😆😆#connverse#connie maheswaran#steven quartz universe#Lion SU#su#steven universe#skedoobles#Ah. Also scribbling this because I needed a break after burning out 3 hours of a commission's allotted time just figuring out what pose#to settle on. So like I only have five hours left to work on their piece. 😬#my shiz#Waitaminuteee in case I unintentionally relayed it wrong. I'm not going to actually just make that allotted commission time just 5 hours no#I recognize not being able to settle a pose for THAT long in a commission is skill issue on my part so I'm not going to carve out 3 hours#Plus at least now I have poses that I *could* make a YCH out of. The body measures are going to be limited however 🤔
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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day 259
haha :)
#day 259#year 5#john egbert#homestuck#IM BACK it turns out i just needed a lot more recovery time from the trip than i thought#i didnt get to sleep much the whole 3 days i was there bc the motel beds were hard as FUCK#and it was like a 12 hour drive there and a 14 hour drive back home (we took a lot of breaks)#and even with the breaks it was a longass day of driving#so i have spent most of this weekend unconscious lol#i think im mostly recovered tho so back 2 the art grind gamers
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updated Sleight ref!!
#i changed his colors !!#treat this as a suggestion than a solid ref. i spent like 3 hours drawing and redrawing the legs bc i couldnt get the shape right so if u#wanna draw them more planti or digi i do not mind ^_^ get silly with it!! same goes for pelt pattern do whatevr u want with it#the pelt pattern is loosely based on a snowshoe cat which was fun to play with. as u can see they kinda have a butterfly motif going on#if u squint the ear tufts kinda resemble luna moths or swallowtails with the long tail at the end of the wings#i was kinda torn about changing the costume color but it clashed too much with the new color palette so i had to change it#i didnt include the cape here so its easier to see the costume but ill draw it another time if i remember lol#its also a lil hard to see but i put pinstripes on their pants but thats optional. their design is pretty flexible anyway#god im pretty attached to this guy already. hes like semi fan character semi regular character... oc... thing#i should draw more furries. i followed some furry artists for giggles recently and its true what they say. u need furries in your life#btw while i was drawing this i was fooling around while trying to figure out his costume color and colored it as kaito kids suit for fun#and i just stared at it for a solid 5 minutes before saving a picture. maybe ill post it later#my art#myart#my oc#oc#furry art#fur#furry#laika's comet#laika's comet oc#fan character#sleight#ref sheet#oc ref sheet
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you put a stop to that sweet, sweet fairytale kingdom
that is the distorted world where i
met you
shuake week day 1: fairtytales / reunion / secret relationship
#hiiii all my stuff for shuake week is so out of point do NOT MIND IT#our light lives so rent free in my head i start crying everytime im always in pain#idk that that is where i met you is so……….intimate idk LOL#also i will never draw a background again this made me lose braincells i was suffering for like 10 hours#shuake#shuakeweek2023#p5r#jokers hair took 3 years off my life#akechi goro#persona 5 protagonist#my art#doodle#doodles
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and then they spent the rest of @erisolweek day three playing ghost trick <3
#tmos has art#eridan ampora#sollux captor#homestuck#erisol#erisolweek#erisol week#if you're wondering. yes i did watch a playthrough of ghost trick and relatedly missed planning for todays prompt in part from that LOL#extra flavor i didnt have art energy to capture. they end up cuddled up together while eridan comments on all his theories on whatll happen#eridan makes like. 3 comments in the first half hour where sollux is like. 'oh my god he doesnt even know' lmfao <3#anyways LOL going to play video games and relax now that days 4-5 are pretty much already done ✌
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wip posting just to get something out there, and it's def a mixed bag!! the only thing more inconsistent than my posting schedule is my art style RIP
#wip#yapping below#1. sinnohtrio group pic where nothing bad has happened yet... dedicated sinnoh post coming soon#2. personalizing dawn and lyra's togekisses with different coloring and markings based on region. there's lyra's omelette :]#3. timeskip red and leaf except it's just pikachu#4. top left is all the assets i made for my cs final project! a little cherrim themed browser game#then there's sprites for my champion dawn; cool concept methinks but it's definitely a work in progress. peep the giratina hairclips#some vaugely lugia/ho-oh inspired protag ideas for a hgss sequel#anddd a bunch of background doodles. goldenrod flower shop and a very saturated mt. silver#in timeskip there shall be a proper town at mt. silver's base to officially bridge kanto and johto (and make lyra's work commute easier)#5-7 is me spitballing ideas abt pokemon biology#dratini & dragonair are forever sea snakes to me!!! though i do enjoy the amphibian interpretations#also i didn't know dragonite island was already a thing from pokeani... rip wyverse dragon master lore#i think crobat looks goofy no matter how you stylize it. silver and his big bumbling bat that insists on grooming its trainer. so unserious#there's a togekiss page too but then i remembered egg groups are a thing so i'm revising parts of it#i spent so long trying to come up with a reasonable wing-to-body ratio for togekiss and crobat. literally useless when dragonite can#apparently fly around the globe in 16 hours. are you Kidding me. dragons weren't even merging with jet planes until gen 3.#OK that is all. sorry for the lack of uploads wah#i'm like a ferret hoarding all my doodles until the quantity > quality lever switches in my brain to give the 👍 to post#i did made a spam blog but who knows if i'll actually post on there lol! probably for non-pkmn related stuff
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sleepy morning with the boys
#ts4#simblr#ts4 edit#ts4 render#sims 4#myedits#kelly#dhestyn#i apologize for the long post#this originally had 6 photos for a grid format but#i don't really like the other 3 so. yea.#full disclosure it is actually very rare for kelly to wake up at the same time as dhes#kel is literally a cat. he will sleep 16 hours a day if dhes lets him#& dhes gets out of bed at like 4:30/5 every morning#he'll cook a full breakfast & do a load of laundry & go for a jog before going to work#he also usually feeds duder bc if he doesn't she will yell & bother kelly until he wakes up#kel has to be woken up gently or he'll get cranky lol#he tends to wake up later in the morning & pick up lunch for everyone at the shop before walking to work#then the boys will drive home together at the end of their shifts#dani kind of just lets them come & go whenever they want. they mostly make their own hours#she doesn't care as long as they show up for work at some point
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darius is hot,, hes like a walking heater, he usually has people by his side when they need to warm up or something. especially lilith, she abuses this constantly lmao. girl is always so cold n being limited to ice magic sucks so she loves to just,, hang off his arm lol
#the owl house#toh#hc#headcanon#darius deamonne#lilith clawthorne#once again it is 3 in the morning and i need to unscramble my thoughts#i have school in like 5 hours lol
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i just went to bed, then 15 minutes later got out of bed and turned the lights on, grabbed a pencil and sticky note, and began frantically calculating my total possible annual leave between now and December 2025. Again.
just in case anyone is wondering just how meticulous and obsessive i am over future travel and time off
#it seems more insane in person when you can see how many dates and numbers i wrote down#i do this literally all the time when bored#i never take a day off that isnt travel related lol#i had the chance to do it 3 times this month but instead i decided to work 9 hours days next week and week after next#so that i dont have to take any time#i could also save myself another 2 days leave if i worked 10 hour days the next two weeks after that#but idk if i hate myself enough for that#i also can earn credit time by voluntarily working over timr for up to 3 days total credit.#i use this as much as possible.#aaaaaand i get comp time for other work after hours (like my 5 hours from working on a Saturday in august that i havent touched yet)#i am literally insane about this btw.#my calculations this year assume i am not taking black friday off. if i do i will recalculate#anyway. in case you're ever like 'how does she take all these trips'#the answer is that i just obsessively track every single hour to the point where i'm working a year and a half in advance 😃
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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!
#cats#holiday#OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few#days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart#rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart#so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag#and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day#last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few#hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent#ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect#because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make#me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these#'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a#few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is#getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better#and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo#I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c#Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after#like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was#doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally#ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully#whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos#ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely#though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart#stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive#things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***
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