#for him to make time to write a message
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Alex is so incredibly sweet. I'm so happy. Today was good 💖 I'm so grateful! What a kind man.
#getting a reply to my fanmail... how precious is that#for him to make time to write a message#it really means a lot#especially at a time like this when ive been genuinely thinking of killing myself#if only he knew how impactful that was#im so grateful#oh god im gonna cry#ahhh#ramble#alex horne#fanmail#perceived
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One of my favorite parts of phase 2 (and indeed one of the few moments I resonated with IDW Prowl) was when the neutrals were coming back to Cybertron and Prowl said that he refused to let Autobots be pushed aside and overruled after they were the ones who fought for freedom for 4 million years (the exact wording escapes me atm).
And I mean, that resentment still holds true even once the colonists come on bc like. As much as it's true that Cybertron's culture is fucked up, and as funny as it can be to paint Cybertronians as a bunch of weirdos who consider trying to kill someone as a common greeting not important enough to hold a grudge over.... The colonists POV kind of pissed me off a lot of times, as did the narrative tone/implications that Cybertronians are forever warlike and doomed to die by their own hands bc it just strikes me as an extremely judgemental and unsympathetic way to deal with a huge group of people with massive war PTSD and political/social tensions that were rampant even before the war?
Like, imagine living in a society rife with bigotry and discrimination where you get locked into certain occupations and social strata based on how you were born. The political tension is so bad there's a string of assassinations of politicians and leaders. The whole planet erupts into an outright war that leads (even unintentionally) to famine and chemical/biological warfare that destroys your planet. Both sides of the war are so entrenched in their pre-war sides and resentment for each other that this war lasts 4 million years and you don't even have a home planet any more. Then your home planet gets restored and a bunch of sheltered fucks come home and go "ewww why are you so violent?? You're a bunch of freaks just go live in the wilderness so that our home can belong to The Pure People Who Weren't Stupid And Evil Enough To Be Trapped In War" and then a bunch of colonists from places that know nothing about your history go "lol you people are so weird?? 🤣🤣 I don't get why y'all are fighting can't you just like, stop??? Oh okay you people are just fucked up and evil and stupid then" ((their planets are based on colonialism where their Primes wiped out the native populations btw whereas the Autobots and OP in particular fought to save organics. But that never gets brought up as a point in their favor)) as if the damage of a lifetime of war and a society that was broken even before the war can just magically go away now that the war is over.
Prowl fucking sucks but he was basically the only person that pointed out the injustice of that.
And then from then on out most of the characters from other colonies like Caminus and wherever else are going "i fucking hate you and your conflicts" w/ people like literal-nobody Slide and various Camiens getting to just sit there lecturing Optimus about how Cybertronians are too violent for their own good and how their conflicts are stupid, with only brief sympathetic moments where the Cybertronians get to be recognized as their own ppl who deserve sympathy before going right back to being lambasted.
Like I literally struggled to enjoy the story at multiple points because there was only so much I could take of the characters I knew and loved being raked over coals constantly while barely getting to defend themselves or be defended by the narrative so like. It was just fucking depressing and a little infuriating to read exRID/OP
#squiggposting#and like dont get me wrong barber wasnt trying to make cybertronians the bad guys or whatever#it's just a problem with his writing where like. he has A Message he wants to send#and so he uses the entire story literally just for The Message even if it involves bullshit plotlines#or familiar characters ppl were reading about for the past decade being shit on by OCs made up to fill a new roster#like barber's writing tends to lean way too much on a sort of lecturing tone#without giving proper care towards including moments where characters get to like. fucking express themselves and share their side#sort of like how barber couldnt be bothered to write pyra magna and optimus actually talking to each other during exrid#and instead during OP ongoing pyra is suddenly screaming about how OP is unteachable#even tho she never even tried to teach him bc she and OP never interacted bc i guess barber couldnt be bothered#he just needed someone to lecture OP so fuck making the story make sense or like letting OP get to say anything in defense#this is the infuriating part of barber's writing bc i think he has incredible IDEAS and was in charge of the lore i was most interested in#but most of the time his execution sucks and he's basically just mid with a few brilliant moments occasionally#or like he has a message about the cycle of violence he wants to convey#but his narrative choices trying to convey that theme made his story come off as super unsympathetic to the ppl who suffered#to the point where barber actively kneecapped some scenes that couldve been super fucking intense and emotional#in favor of the characters lecturing each other or some stupid plot to criticize OP#that time in unicron where windblade screamed about how this is their fault and then arcee replied that her planet is build on coloniation#shouldve happened more often than literally the last series of the ocntinuity. like goddamn stfu about your moral superiority#when your own sins are right fhere lol
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Jiwoo: Hi! What brings you here at this hour? 😃✨🌃🌇
Everyone: … I was in the area 😶
Jiwoo’s house: *in the middle of a dead quiet suburban neighborhood near absolutely nothing*
#eleceed#jiwoo seo#they act like he lives in a high rise in the dead center of a high traffic metropolitan area#and not in this tucked away lil suburban home#he’s no on the god damn way anywhere!#he lives in the kinda suburb that car and oil lobbiests love#making the population entirely car dependent because it’s so god damn out of the way#they’re all there all the time because they have superhero stamina to walk/jump the distance of#like cars with legs#if they didn’t have super powers the protection squad would be texting dramaticly to him#like wives writing letters by candlelight to their husbands at war who they haven’t seen in years#wooin might actually write a candlelight letter and mail it#Subin and Jisuk dropping messages in a bottles out to sea(school water fountain) hoping their beloved Jiwoo some days receives them
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leaving loving messages on sticky notes for Ford to help build new positive associations with them
Counter: Leaving them on his forehead when he falls asleep at his desk telling him off for not going to bed (lovingly) >:)
#learning to write them in ciphers to make him more engaged with them would be cute#because he just HAS to know what the cipher says so him spending time on it/taking it in more in order to do so#means he's more likely to absorb the translated message too#the old engagement psychology switcheroo#asks#anon#ford asks
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Harassment is horrible, it's terrible mods in this Discord aren't doing anything.
But on the other hand, what about you? You harassed a person over *fanfiction* ( to the point it's the 4th tag who shows up on your blog ). Yet, all your harassment is still there out of the open. You haven't really seriously apologized, especially to them. You're still quite active on fe3h discourse while he had to remove himself from many public online space.
How is this fair?
You're rightfully upset about harassment towards members of your community, there should be *serious* amends made... But how can you hold double standards like that?
I haven't followed the discourse closely because it's so awful, why are you all so hateful? Because you just seems like one of the "bad guy" in this story along with Raxis and the other. I'm not saying you're the same, but you're not really better than those you criticize either, and the same apply for the other blog who participed in your harassment... It's just horrible all around. You're all drowning in a cesspool of toxicity and it's making you all worst people than you actually are.
I hope you, and people around you, will at least receive amend over the harm caused to them. I hope you stop receiving troll, death threat and any other type of hate message you probably still receive. But I hope you'll sincerely recognize your faults and fully amend to them too.
Look, I know you probably mean some kind of well and that you likely spent a long time thinking over this message, so I'm going to lay it out as simply as I can:
I have never once interacted with Cap'n himself, and I have repeatedly told anyone reading my posts to do the same. This is unlike the people who have harassed me and others, who went out of their way to make sure we saw what they were saying about us. This includes publicly admitting to using alts to go around our blocks of them so that they can keep interacting with us directly
Very quickly into critiquing Cap'n's work, a primary focus became pointing out the problematic rhetoric he was spreading with his incredibly influential, incredibly popular fanfic. This includes the justification of holding racist rhetoric, the anti-miscegenation rhetoric, the infantilization of women, the demonization of men, the justification of imperialism, and more, all which appear very quickly into the story and stay prominent throughout the story. The people who have harassed me and others, meanwhile, either deny this rhetoric exists in their circles or outright hold this rhetoric themselves. This includes the use and defense of genocide apologetics.
This post is the first time I have talked about Cap'n in over a year, and the last time I posted any notes on his fic was over a year and a half ago. This is unlike the people who have harassed me and others, who have engaged in harassing behaviors as recently as this week (as of Aug 18 2024).
It has been explicitly said by those close to Cap'n that my notes, while upsetting him, had no part in him leaning away from social media more, unlike what you say here. This is unlike the people who have harassed me and others, who have driven off multiple people from social media and have openly patted themselves on the back for doing so, justifying their harassment by saying the people they've harassed off social media deserved it.
I have kept my critiques strictly on this Tumblr, as have most of the people who have talked about Cap'n's fic. This is unlike the people who have harassed me and others, who have spread their harassment on places such as Twitter, Reddit, and TVTropes.
I have refrained from ever accusing Cap'n of ever holding any bigoted views himself, and have made it a repeated point to say that his problematic writing is far more likely due to ignorance of the subjects involved rather than outright malice. This is unlike the people who have harassed me and others, who have accused many of us as people of being sexist, racist, homophobic, etc. based off of nothing. This includes accusing at least one of us of actual crimes against actual people with no proof and on multiple sites such as the popular and public Edelgard Discord and on Reddit.
People who said they were in contact with Cap'n (as in, mods of the Discord server that Cap'n was once in, the same server that has the mod that uses genocide apologetics) have been told that I was willing to remove parts of my notes that he found too attacking or harsh, and they've been told that I would outright remove all of my posts regarding Cap'n period if he would talk to me directly and we could discuss the implications and rhetoric he had accidentally written into his story. While I do understand him not wanting to do the latter (as it involves directly talking to me), he hadn't even done the former (which does not involve directly talking to me and only involves relaying messages through his friends). And with all of the above on top of that, it gives me the impression that he feels less like "this person is harassing me and that is giving my anxiety" and more "this person is critiquing me and I don't like that." While he has every right to feel the latter, we aren't going to sit here and say that's the same as the former.
So, nonnie, to answer why I am "hateful," as you put it: I don't like stories that unironically say being two races mean you don't belong to either race being influential in a fandom, as a mixed-race woman. I don't like stories that have characters of color only be used as props for the author's favorite little white girl to be influential in fandom, as a person of color. I don't like stories saying that women just want to go back to being innocent pure little girls and not be the wilted tainted flowers they are now to be influential in a fandom, as a woman. I don't like stories that lay the blame of all the world's suffering on the shoulders of a race of people who've barely survived a genocide to be influential in a fandom, as a person with a modicum of knowledge on where that rhetoric inevitably leads to. I don't like stories saying that men who don't bow down to women will almost certainly become rapist pigs or otherwise terrorizing monsters to be influential in a fandom, as someone who rejects sexism of all forms. I don't like stories that liken the violent conquests of imperialism to the blooming of flowers, or that say that imperialism is the only way for the "good" culture to help everyone - actual, genuine rhetoric used to justify actual, genuine imperialism - to be influential in a fandom, as someone who has read any history book ever.
And I don't like how all of this and more have clearly been normalized in big 3H fandom circles and how this has led to multiple people getting harassed, in no small part due to Cap'n's influence on the fandom at large.
I'm sorry if Cap'n doesn't like me pointing out the bigotry he had engraved throughout his story, and I'm sorry if I'm not going to be convinced that me doing that is the same as people's deliberate and long-standing attempts to chase people out of the fandom for saying they don't like Edelgard in the one way they allow anyone to like her, and I'm sorry that me calling out the racism people are engaging in and are hiding behind the shield of "discourse" seems to bother you so much, but I think I've explained why I'm not exactly that sorry well enough. Hope this answers your question <3
#ask#anon#o captain my captain#literally the last time i used that <- tag was in Feb 2023#and frankly given the shit Cap'n continued to write in his fic after Chapter 60 that's fucking saintly of me#anyway. to be clear; my critiquing Cap'n's fic and only Cap'n's fic for the bigoted shit he wrote in it#is not the same as Raxis harassing someone off of Tumblr for saying the wrong Lambert and Sitri opinions#or him cropping out people's messages to make it look like they said shit they never said to drum up harassment against them#or dolphin going to a Jewish woman's post and ''''''''joking'''''''' about genocide and race supremacy#or her accusing someone else of being a rapist and groomer on random Reddit posts and in a huge public Discord server#sorry for the snippy tone it's just this ignorant message is somewhat annoying ngl#not to be rude nonnie but you can't say you don't know much about what's been going on#and then make these definitive statements as though you DO know what's been going on#like you can call my notes gauche or uncalled for or whatever I don't give a shit#but it'll be a cold day in hell before I sit here and nod along with the idea of it being ''no better than'' this shit
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#PHEWWWW HI GANG#im writing this via tumblr web so bear with me but i hope everyone’s 2025 has started off well so far !!!!!! a lot has happened on my end#(the good and the bad but we are thugging it out!)#i’ve received very wholesome messages from my lovely moots which i’ve taken a sneak peek of and will be replying to when i get the time !!#anywho! i don’t know when i’ll be back on here bc my creative juices have been DRAINED so yeah :C i didn’t wanna leave completely so i#archived my acc for a bit while i sort things out :3 — my reason for doing so is mixed really. more on losing motivation and just basically#stuff to worry about irl BUUUUT i missed you all so much and me being here and making a post means its kinda getting better on my end so ya#prob not relevant but i’ll enable my asks again if anyone wants to leave anything so that i can come back to it again when i log on sjdnksj#also also i’ve been watching ‘the apothecary diaries’ s2 and its so amazing !! i also started ‘a sign of affection’ and let me tell you how#much i was kicking and rolling around my bed KSNDKSJ#gaming-wise i recently pulled for c0 arlecchino but lost her weapon to clorinde’s weapon 😭🙏🏼 but shes amazing and i love her gameplay sm!#AND AND OMG LADS.??. WELCOME BACK CALEBBBBBB OMGGG i havent done the main story yet but i’m excited !! i know ppl have mixed feelings over#him and his actions but hes so up my alley so ik im gonna be eating it up hehe. i did manage to pull for his standard 5 star which is#exciting too !!! anyway i want to try and get back into writing again because my mind has been brewing yet another heavy chrollo angst 😽#(i love putting my husband through grief)#or maybe i’ll start w finishing off a couple of loose ends from the fics i never finished 😭 (i’m so sorry)#welp that’s all from me !! i love u all <3
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thinking of Sergei switching to country because he can't bear to listen to jazz anymore
#sergei nikulov#margo x sergei#i'm going through it again friends#he'll marry a margo-lite but hearing piano makes him sick#it's private to her he knows#thinking of him going out of his way to write a message specifically on the last record she accepted#seeing her again for the first time in almost a decade and gifting her more music at the first opportunity#as if desperate to say#“this was all me - I chose them for you - and I remember every second”
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EVERYBODY SHUT UP!!!!!! PAT SIELOFF IS PREGNANT!!!!!
1. Birthday cake from Sierra and Kelly; 2. Gritty soft serve ice cream cup; 3. Sign for Erik Johnson's 1k celebration; 4. Jersey Devil Christmas tree ornament.
#just got taken very off guard by a big room remix of mozart's lacrimosa and the experience did NOT spark joy#horrible. i keep going back to the playlist it was on and listening to 30 seconds and getting mad all over again#not bc i believe in the sanctity of lacrimosa but bc i don't like it#ko and sierra aren't responding to my messages probably because they are spending quality time with family!!#but EYE do not have quality time with family. and my brain is swiss cheese from too much church#please god let him be a girl dad do not let him have a boy to put into hockey#i mean you can put the girl in hockey but we do NOT need pat sieloff jr (boy) into hockey#pat sieloff continuing proof that every single bone in your body can be broken and you have like negative muscle ligaments#but you can still be so so so so cute and happy with your wife in pictures announcing baby sieloff 🥰🥰#the weather is making me UNWELL. like physically i was not built for this weather i was built for heat not cold#BUT mentally also. please explain to me why i outlined an entire advent liturgy -- all four sundays -- based around hockey#LIKE NOBODY NEEDS A PRAYER OF CONFESSION AROUND HOCKEY#and it fucking WHIPS is the worst part. it was only an outline but if i spent more than 3 hours on it. well someone should a do wellness ch#ck is what should happen. we don't need hockey liturgy no one needs that#the thing is i am so fucking burnt out and just exhausted by all of it (<- what christmas/advent will do to a mfer) but i love#writing liturgy. it's so fun. it's like creative nonfiction#so then i was like well what if i did lent and baseball. which tracks much better yk ending the darkness and the coming light#and then i was like. interesting. what urgent tasks am i avoiding by doing all this. what medication am i not taking#white knuckling it ONE DAY LEFT OF CHURCH NONSENSE AND THEN I CAN ROT IN MY LIVING ROOM FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR#oh my god is it past midnight already i've been working on this post for like two hours and keep getting distracted#if the classical music station played ''mozart's final rave (lacrimosa)'' by oliver heldens at 7am i would certainly get out of bed :/#fresno oilers.txt
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The thing thats consistently bothered me the most in the fallout show is the racism. I would hesitate to recommend it because of that alone. And there was obvious love that the set and prop designers, actors, costume department, and even maybe the writers put into the show! There are themes and characters in fallout that i'm certain would resonate with fans of color!
It KILLS me that so many of the fallout entries are damn well unplayable/watchable in this regard because the writers simply Don't Care how the people in their work are presented. That this like hugely popular world with a lot of worldbuilding and thought behind it does such wrong to so many people, fans and otherwise, that you cannot find any game in the series that does it right or well. It alienates a lot of people who might've been fans just because the majority white creators and fanbase don't give a shit, and I'm sick of it.
it's not enough to say "in the fallout in my head that racism doesn't happen," you actually have to put some things into PRACTICE. Allow space in your head, your games/show, your fan spaces for people of color! notice and say something when you see racism coming from media, yourself, and others!
#like its not AS bad as other fallout media but isnt that the fucking kicker. that its not AS bad#and in fact the games im thinking of that are most egregious in their racism ARE interplay/obsidians games.#bethesda is NOT free from criticism or racism. just look at the elder scrolls.#all of the fallout games have been terrible to different extents to their black characters#the games are TERRIBLY sinophobic. the great war being pinned on china allows for SO much racism in the writing and in fan spaces#but fallout 2 and new vegas specifically have awful and degrading representations of indigenous people. to the point where i wont play 2.#and now this show treating maximus nearly one to one with how star wars writers AND fans treated finn? its not okay#personal /#fallout show#fallout blogging#racism#antiblackness#colonialism#fallout#if not for this i would have thought that the show was GOOD. surprisingly compelling. anti capitalist messaging. but its just. all the time#and this is coming from a white person! i can only listen and imagine how painful it is to play these games or watch the show#and be the butt of the joke every time!!! or the villain or the fool or the one who dies or the nameless entry.#maximus gets to have Some time in the light as a protagonist but for the beginning half of it he's treated SO awfully by the writers#and the latter half does not do enough to make up for it#EDIT: I JUST FINISHED THE SHOW AND THEY FUCKING MADE IT WORSE....#taking max out and having lucy leave him. for what exactly. why did they have to undermine him and make him look stupid at every opportunit#AND. two of the more major black women being evil capitalists juxtaposed by some white guy who opposes? .........................#like im glad moldaver was there. i guess. but even she is posed as the villain for the good majority of it and kills innocent people#for no reason and. UGH
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shi.n's amnesia later route is such an out of character experience bc wdym someone this cute shows me all the love they have for me and i dont healthily communicate with him that im feeling overwhelmed by it.
#❛ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ⧽ — ooc.#GONNA BE HONEST. EVERY OTO.ME PLAYTHROUGH I DO IS OOC FOR ME - i refuse to change the name of the mc unless they make me and even then i#didnt give the heroine my name im sorry heroine ... mainly bc im also playing from a rpers perspective FHDJKADHSJK#but this route is a sharp edged sword. i dont know if i can ever finish it ( i mean i can bc things get resolved and they DO communicate! )#and it goes onto one of the most respected endings ive seen for a chara: having the good ending as him moving away to another place but you#guys staying together long distance bc thats rep! we need!#its just the fact that even min.e and saw.a explain that what is happening isnt fair on him and the convo ends with avoidance ...#that is NOT my heroine sweetie what did they do to you#much love for heroine and everything she stands for but this CANNOT! be me sorry#shin would literally be like perf for the waiter position but he hates everyone but his two childhood friends im sorry you're never catchin#him acting like this unless you're them#hes just young and very forward. very blunt too if he wants a kiss he will inform and then take ... hes tryinggggg ....#anyway good morn i was looking at these at 3am for icons and then promptly fell asleep#time to write one last draft and then queue all i have - ill have 5 drafts left over in total :')#between my two blogs which is! amazing! but i will be focusing on inboxes after ive edited them all#omw to do the amnesi.a call this week. and plotting messages#we're going far kiddssss
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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dsmp is coming back in so much force I’ve seen people make up boundaries again 💚
#like c!tommy and c!dream both have like the clearest boundaries set in the fandom bc their creators said explicitly#what they were comfortable with with them seperate to themselves#and it's literally just. don’t write c!tommy in a sexualised manner#which like fair of tommy people were sexualising him all the time considering his adult friends couldn’t stop#and on that note u shouldn’t give a shit about d****s boundaries considering he didn’t give a shit about anyone elses#like. bro coerced a teenager into saying that he loved him in private messages or he’d destroy his friends stuff#No I am Not letting that go that is far worse than Anything anyone could make in fiction
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*remembers what they did to Vanny* 500 FUCKING PIPEBOMB ATTACK.
#em.txt#WHY#how can you see the fucking absolute fire that is building up & go. 'yeah douse it. now bring back peepaw AGAIN'#BUILD HER UP 2 GAMES EARLY --- & THEN DO NOTHING!!!!!!!!? FUCK#WE CAN'T HAVE WOMEN DO THINGS IN FNAF I GUESS#the company's scop was too big & they developed the game seperately from the environment & made the environment above the game#cut playable vanessa sections. cut vanny appearances.#remove all the plot make vanessa a bitch throw in some invisible walls call it done. 30 dollars now please#security breach isn't just bad. it's not fucking done.#the thing normally with cut content is i can usually agree like 'okay this game cut this but that was a smart choice'#it can be better for time or budget & it can make for better writing.#for instance all the cut content in ahit is neat & as much as i like moonie it's smart to cut his character to build up other ones#& makes for a tighter story & less convoluted area that's more fun to play#when i look at the cut content for security breach their are obvious issues.#it's obvious the company's scope went too far. you built too big an environment. you built the environment before your game.#you prioritized a cool area to the point you expanded the mall from 1 story to 3. do you think that time could have been speant elsewhere#& the other problem is the insane fucking crunch that scott cawthon as a dev placed on himself & others to maintain relevancy#a single person locking themselves ina room for months to stay relevant is fucked. a game studio physically cannot do that.#you see shit in the prerelease like they wanted a bowling minigame a kart minigame a freeroam minigame etc#what about vanny? what did you want with this character? you clearly had something in mind#but we needed to cut it so we can fit in mazercise i fucking guess or chica's bakery or trash heap#here's what we have: less than 1 minute screentime. the 2 vanessa ending comic. that's it#oh wait i forgot. 'vanny. sounds like vanessa & bunny. this cabnot be a coincidence ' & THEN IT NEVER COMES UP AGAIN#princess quest used to be about that bitch in golden freddy you retconned it to be about vanessa SO DO SOMETHING WITH THAT#her whole shit is apparently in service to william afton. why isn't she in the afton fight at all#does she not know he's down there? is he unrelated? does she know she's working for the mimic? is she not working for him?#is she at all related to the fucking bunny from ruin or like what#what about the rainbow hair. what about her tech prowess. what about the cut missing kids only referenced in duffle bag messages now.#fuck you & fuck me as well why can't i be passionate about hvac systems#why's it gotta be this shittass gsme.
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Hi, I'm sorry this isn't a question but I just wanted to tell you how much I absolutely love your Bill fanfiction, not only is it completely in character but you took so many things from other Canon works like the secret messages from lost legends which makes it feel all the more fleshed out. I can't praise you enough for the amazing work youre doing and I hope you keep the enthusiasm since I've never read a Bill redemption fic that doesn't focus on romance be finished. God speed!
You never have to apologize for sending me nice things about my writing lmao. Thank you so much!! I'm glad you're enjoying it so much, and I really hope I keep the enthusiasm to the end too.
#(me earlier today: 'would it be TOO obscure if i reference Tate & Backle's Bait & Tackle shop by name?')#(me: *gets this message* me: 'well now I HAVE to include the reference')#(I hope you're not gonna be disappointed when there eventually IS romance; but like it'll still never be the 'focus.')#(romance will not be what saves him. in fact if this was ONLY romance it would probably make him Even Worse.)#(romance is just one of MANY optional pieces that can make up A Healthy God Damn Support System For The First Time In His Miserable Life)#anonymous#ask#about my writing#bill goldilocks cipher
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friends and fiends if this truly spells the Over for the qsmp i may let the brainworms that have been festering in me for MONTHS--A YEAR, EVEN--win.
i may summarize the goddamn fucking lore.
#i CANNOT make an 8 hour summary i CAN'T i SHOULD NOT that is SO MUCH CONTENT#and i still only speak like 2/4 qsmp languages MAYBE 2.5/4 if we're REALLY stretching it#but GODDAMNIT I'M DOING SOME CURSORY RESEARCH ANYWAY BC I WANNA WRITE THAT FUCKING TIME LOOP#qsmp#maybe just the fed lore. haha. eye twitches. maybe just the iverall server lore. maybe i'll even bother caring about the qsmp livestreams.#haha. eye twitch. fucking. eye twitch.#solo lore is B E Y O N D me but MAYBE shit that affected Most or All lore i could do#like code lore and shit. obv it knots in with other lore but FUCK IT WHATEVER#AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i'm not even gonna worry about it#yknow what. not even gonna worry about it. i gotta do the research first 🤪 whatever bro#if the research gets done i'll think about alllllllllllll the rest of this but this is a YEAR OF CONTENT#mother FUCKER dude it's not possible there's no way#this is a year with like 80 hours of streams per DAYYY at peak who could do this#who could. no wonder no one could keep up. no wonder i had to LIVE in the tag to keep up#good lord GOD i shouldn't do this. i'm not committing. god i want to though. god i shouldn't.#shut up vic#block game brainrot#HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA#WHATEVER HAHAHAHA WHATEVER AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA#i will beat this storyline into SUBMISSION i will beat it to DEATH i will FORCE IT TO MAKE SENSE#I WILL PRUNE IT LIKE THE WORLDS WORST BONSAI I SWEAR TO GOD#i'm unhinged i can't i have so wanted to do this but i swore to myself i wouldn't#bc i know i'll go insane and i know it will take FUCKING YEARS and there is no fucking way i'll see it to the end#but goddddddddddddddd i want to i SO FUCKING WANT TO#listen. if there's no more lore. i may summarize the fucking lore. someone will beat me to it 100% bc i take fucking a million years#but people are suckers for long video essays and summaries IT'S ME I'M PEOPLE#anyway if you got this far and have the screenshot of mariana messaging slime to tell him their daughter is dead please send it#i can't find it via google and i don't have twitter and i know it was posted there at some point :(#i want it :( i want to throw it back in slime's face in the time loop because repetition is fun and heartbreaking >:D
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