#because he just HAS to know what the cipher says so him spending time on it/taking it in more in order to do so

[stupidlittlespirit]

leaving loving messages on sticky notes for Ford to help build new positive associations with them

Counter: Leaving them on his forehead when he falls asleep at his desk telling him off for not going to bed (lovingly) >:)

[ckret2]

You know, after seeing your evil Ford au, I wonder what would happen if evil! Ford, met cannon! Ford. I feel like Cannon! Ford would hate him because he's just an example of what would happen if he haven't learned his lesson on perfection and how it's impossible to reach and how he doesn't need to impress people to be happy. I wonder what evil! Ford would think of his original counter part..would he be a little regretful? Since his cannon counterpart got more happiness than him? It's honestly intriguing to think about.

That's actually part of why I made Evil Ford: I was thinking about a dimension of lost Fords (like the dimension of lost Mabels in Don't Dimension It) and asked myself, which Ford alternate would Canon Ford most hate to meet?

So yeah you're right, Canon Ford would HATE Evil Ford—but not for thematic "you haven't learned the moral lesson about perfection & family" reasons. That's how audiences think about characters, it's not how people think about other people. When's the last time you hated somebody in real life because they missed the point of their own narrative arc—rather than because, say, they're rude to cashiers?

No, the reason Canon Ford hates Evil Ford is much simpler.

Similarly, meeting Canon Ford wouldn't make Evil Ford feel regretful because Evil Ford still thinks he made the right decision. What does he care if Canon Ford is "happier" if he only found contentment by—what—giving up on his high ambitions and settling for being a washed-up burnt-out ex-academic with no memorable achievements to his name? Evil Ford would rather die as a miserable overachiever than live as a peaceful slacker.

And he didn't spend thirty years on a completely different life path from Canon Ford without developing a totally different perspective.

Note: when Canon Ford found out Bill lied about the portal and declared he'd stop Bill no matter what, Evil Ford thinks that's Ford betraying Bill, not the other way around.

Also note: Evil Ford thinks Canon Ford is only motivated by anger over being deceived—not concern for the safety of the whole planet. Like yeah sure, he's HEARD that excuse; but that's what he thinks it is: an excuse. If he'd decided not to forgive Bill, he probably would've used the same excuse himself. A convenient, heroic-sounding moral justification for a thirty year vengence quest—but he doesn't really care that much about who's running the Earth, why would his alternate self?

(And really, Canon Ford? Thirty years? Thirty years?? You never found anything more productive to do with all that time than stalk your former mentor because you're MAD about ONE LIE?? If Canon Ford had said he thought killing Bill would net him more interdimensional fame and praise than he'd ever have as his underling, then Evil Ford could understand THAT—he himself has had misgivings about the fact that he's signed up to spend all eternity playing second banana—but as it is, though...)

Also also note: Evil Ford never reconciled with Fiddleford because he never acknowledged Fidds was "right" about Bill. He spent two-thirds of his life estranged from his brother. He moved across the country from his family. He made no friends in Gravity Falls, and likely no other college friends than Fidds. But he spent over half his life working with, dreaming with, living with Bill Cipher.

Evil Ford is evil; but he's not heartless.

Bill's the muse that gave him the blueprints he needed for his greatest invention and for the culmination of his life's work as a scientist and explorer. Bill's a near-god who hailed Ford as the greatest genius of his century, the man who's going to change the world, and via divine weirdness intervention he personally made sure that prophecy come true. Bill's the guy who—after Ford's embarrassing failure of a portal accident—welcomed Ford into his gang with open arms and the assurance that all his hard work wouldn't be for naught. He's Ford's longest-lasting friendship, his partner in crime and in science and in just about everything else by now, the person he trusts to puppet his body.

Is that a very skewed perspective on Bill? God, yeah. But it's Evil Ford's perspective.

If someone told you that all your suffering is due to the one person you trust most in all the world and the one person outside your family you care about the most—someone you've known for over thirty years—and your life would be so much better if you'd ditched this person the very first time you didn't get along—and that ditching them would have been the moral action—and that, in fact, you should have dedicated your life to killing this person...

Would you regret your life? Would you envy the life of the man who told you all this?

Or would you despise him?

How much more would you despise him if you knew he was you—had lived the same life as you—and that he had killed the most important person in your world?

Oh, Evil Ford resents the hell out of Canon Ford. Who are you—you slacker, you betrayer—to say you're "happier" than your counterpart? How do you deserve that "happy" ending? How is that fair?

Evil Ford only has one regret: not locking up his entire family before Weirdmageddon, where they'd all be safe... and where Bill would be safe from them.

[bapple117]

Okay so if Brich (hypothetically) died, how would Bill react? Would he just give up and turn to an evil path again or what would happen?

OH GOD

Man this one is cruel to think about. Okay, so, because I'm a slut for angst, let me indulge this but also can I preface this with THIS IS NOT CANON TO MY STORY THIS IS JUST AN IMAGINE SCENARIO WARNING: SAD ANGST AHEAD

I think Bill would initially go into a state of complete dissociative shock. Like, entirely numb and unresponsive, possibly for years. After everything he's been through and all he's lost, I'd say that losing Birch is his greatest fear now. To lose them would just rip away everything good he's managed to gain and work on for himself, AND it would destroy what last shred of good faith Bill has with the cosmic forces of the universe. To lose Birch would convince him of what he always fears - that he doesn't deserve happiness, actually, and that bad things will always happen to him.

No matter how it happened, he'd most likely blame himself, too. That would be a big factor. He's got too much trauma around loss and guilt for that to not be a thing.

I think it would be unsettling for the Pines & shack crew. They'd just have this lifeless, blankly staring and limp Bill to deal with, refusing to speak or move or do anything. Not even Ford would be able to snap him out of it. They'd all try, I think - not out of any love for Bill, but out of a sense of duty to Birch. They'd try to keep including him, propping him up or attempting to engage him in conversation. I don't think anything would work. Mabel would get the closest to a reaction out of him - maybe his eyeball moving for the first time in months, just looking at her instead of vacantly into the middle distance.

Eventually Bill would become angry, so angry that all the good parts of his personality (his zest for life, his zany sense of fun, his good humour, his boyish love for the absurd, his newfound sense of empathy for others) would just dissolve away, lost forever. Then I think he could go down one of two paths:

He finds a way to destroy himself. Knowing that he's got nothing left to live for, he simply finds a way to end it. Whether that's by begging Axo to actually reincarnate him to the point he no longer remembers anything about being Bill Cipher, or just by removing himself from existence and choosing to dissociate forever in the void, OR by asking Ford to help end his life (something Ford would feel conflicted about but would be willing to do).

2. He goes back to a life of a monster. Killing again, destroying again. Maybe out of some weird lingering sense of duty to Birch, he sees the shack and GF as sacred, so he doesn't fuck with them, but he definitely disappears and goes on a rampage somewhere else. Maybe in another dimension. Maybe he's never found again, and spends the rest of eternity self-destructing. Maybe he winds back up in the Theraprism. Maybe he's destroyed by someone bigger and badder. Who knows. Either way - game over.

OF COURSE NONE OF THIS WILL EVER HAPPEN IN MY STORY

So this is just an angsty hypothetical. Ouch! My tender heart!

[blacklegsanjiii]

Okay okay youve awakend brain worms in me, hear me out:

Sanji escaping the dungeon a few weeks earlier causing him to be in the grandline instead of east blue and meeting none other than ✨Robin✨ maybe sanjis somehow being hunted by germa or smth so theyre both on the run and they make a pact to help each other (which is rocky at first cause they both have hella trust issues) but slowly opening up to each other more and more and being each others only trust person...

Idk!! Im reallt loving all your different sanji situations especially since i see him as a barbie character (he has so many jobs!! Lmao) and ive always loveedd his friendship with Robin since i imagine them both having a bit of a morbid humour

Fuck that's good. That's so fucking good ommmggggg.

17 year old Nico Robin picking up a starved and beaten 8 year old Sanji. Both of them flinching at touch no matter how kind or anything. After a year they're probably close and sharing beds/blankets/stuff like that. Doesn't mean it's not hard or anything. Sanji suffers from nightmares every night and is running on very little sleep most of the time. Robin doesn't know how to comfort him at first because sometimes when he wakes up it's straight into a panic attack.

Robin explains Ohara and the buster call, Sanji explains Germa and his issue with bugs from the mask. Robin pulls this impossibly tiny child to her and holds him as they both cry. This is the first time they really touch each other without flinching and such. If they're running from Cipher Pol or the marines or even Aokiji Robin makes sure to always hold the younger's hand. Makes sure to keep him with her at all times.

They spend a lot of time traveling and reading and Sanji gets better at cooking and feeding them and Robin only gets smarter. Sanji gets a bounty as well, guilty by association and the theft and everything else. He's got to have a name like Robin does but I don't know what.

Eventually they wind up in Alabasta working under Crocodile. Ms. All Sunday and Mr. Prince are excellent workers, highly skilled and still able to do what they love. I imagine Robin also taught Sanji to read the poneglyphs in case she dies. Sanji tells her about the All Blue. They have a pact with each other, if one dies the other will try to fulfill the other's dream. It's a lot of weight on their shoulders. Ohara and Germa, the government, the history they have.

When they ask to join the Strawhat crew Luffy lets them when he finds out Sanji can cook and Robin is an archeologist. They don't mesh well at first. Zoro trusts them on the Captain's word but he picks fight with Sanji because he doesn't use weapons and he and Robin are on edge.

When they run into Aokiji he looks at Sanji and Robin. Aokiji mentions off handedly that Sanji's bounty might be getting updated. They leave and Enies Lobby happens and Robin and Sanji are tense. They just are. It probably falls apart and Sanji says it should have been both of them at once because that way they wouldn't have hurt the crew twice, Robin agrees. Luffy yells at both of them for that, saying that they are apart of his crew and won't let them leave until they're dreams are accomplished.

Skipping ahead to WCI Robin goes with Luffy instead of Nami. Robin is dead set on bringing up what happened in Enies Lobby against Sanji because how dare there be a double standard. Even when she finds out they have Cipher Pol over them again. Then she finds out about the cuffs.

How dare Judge and Big Mom? How fucking dare they. Those are his hands, his greatest treasures and tools. Sanji explains that he wants to save his family and they do, Robin doesn't like it because she saw Sanji fresh out of the dungeon, a skeleton wrapped in paper skin covered in bruises and cuts. Robin will let Judge live but on the escape when Judge is saying that shit?

Robin pulls him close and traps him in her arms and threatens him. Devil Child Nico Robin is not one to be played with, especially when it comes to the only person she really truly trusts. So she makes it very clear that she is letting him live this time but if she sees him again? IF they even happen to be in the same town? He will be killed, it will be painful. Sanji is letting her because this is Robin's turn to be protective.

On the way to Wano they're sitting next to each other and Robin mentions that if she was allowed to she would have killed him then and there for how she found Sanji. Sanji nods and apologizes for the trouble and Robin frowns at him. Something akin to "Remember Enies Lobby?" where Sanji mutters that it still should have been both of them. Robin pulls him close and mutters that this should have been both of them too.

[avinwrites]

IDV Men and Their Love Languages pt. 2

Kevin Ayuso

Kevin is naturally physically affectionate. He’s constantly giving everyone hefty pats on the back, tousling someone’s hair with his gloved hand, or pulling them close by the shoulder to laugh and talk with anyone. There’s almost no exception for this behavior.

-In games with him, Kevin lassos you often

-Sometimes just for fun

-It’s one of his favorite past times, messing with you, that is

-If you’re kiting, you’ll have to look out for both the hunter and Kevin

-because he will absolutely risk the game if it means protecting you

-“That's sweet, Kevin, but go decode, we only have one cipher finished”

-He gets sad when you tell him to go away

-“I can’t help it, it's how I show my love” Kevin is the 🥺emoji (but add a cowboy hat to it)

-He still goes to rescue you when you most need it

-and the times he succeeds, it's really impressive

-but more often than not, he gets you both hit

-It’s ok, just comfort him with cuddles and he’ll instantly feel better

-If you have a bad match, he’d never blame you for it

-He’s honestly the best person to go to when upset

-He’ll listen to whatever you have to say intently, and hold your hands or hug you close

-Physical touch really is his thing. He owns it. Everyone else go home :3

Eli Clark

Eli feels the most loved when spending Quality Time with someone! He’s a perfectly pleasant individual, but he does have a social battery that does drain after a while. After he’s done conversing and interacting with others, he’ll head back to his room to recharge, usually talking to Brooke Rose about the day’s events and any other interesting thoughts that come into his mind. Once he becomes attached to someone, he also considers them one that “recharges” him.

-He purposefully seeks you out when he craves alone time with you. 

-Most of the time, you’ll find him, dejected, after a particularly rough match.

-You notice that at soon as he realizes you’re near him, he’ll perk up a little. From there, he’ll take your hand and lead you up to his room.

-From there, what you do varies greatly

-sometimes you two will talk, or participate in a hobby that you enjoy, or just take a nap

-Eli likes to spend time with you, he fears that neither he nor you have much of it

-He wants to make the most of the time he has

-so please, don’t leave him just yet

Aesop Carl

Also Quality Time. Aesop isn’t much of a talker, and he really doesn’t like to be touched. It takes him a long time to get comfortable enough with anyone to do most anything. But, it's entirely possible, it just requires patience. Things that one can notice about Aesop becoming more comfortable around a person includes, less tense posture, slightly more eye contact, and he becomes more vocal. This all comes with spending time with him, though, if he allows it. 

-Aesop is aware when you take care to ensure he’s comfortable in a situation

-He notices the things you do for him, and the patience you have with him

-and he’s more than grateful, he just doesn’t know how to show it.

-After a long time of him getting close to you, he gets the opportunity to let you know just how much you mean to him

-It’s late at night, the final matches of the day have concluded, and you are exhausted.

-You find waiting for you Aesop, who takes a look at your disheveled figure and hesitantly holds out a gloved hand

-You take it, and he leads you to your room with his metal makeup box in his other hand

-Silently, he instructs you to take a comfortable sit on your bed as he kneels and opens the box

-He reaches for supplies to patch you up, antiseptics for your shallow wounds and bandages.

-He’s very careful with each touch, you’re able to feel his concern through his body language

-When he finishes, he packs up his belongings, but before he leaves, he turns to you suddenly

-“Would it be okay if…” he takes a breath, gripping the hem of his shirt for a brief moment. You let him take his time. “Could I ask for your embrace?”

-“I’d like that.” You respond, pulling him close for a lingering moment. 

-This moment lasts in both of your minds until the end of time itself

Norton Campbell

He has two different love languages. He prefers to show his love by giving gifts, but feels loved through acts of service. He’s had to strive and work hard all his life in order to have stability, and yet he still wants more. To him, it shows that he appreciates someone when he gives someone a gift. If he were to be given a gift, he’d feel that it's either out of pity, or that he’d have to return the favor. He hates the idea of being in debt to someone. It’s different when someone chooses to do something of their own accord.

-There was a message not too long ago from the Baron of the Manor. A new location for the games to take place would be added to the growing list.

-Light chatter and theories spread across both sides of the manor

-It wasn’t until someone was actually assigned to the new map would the survivors figure out what it was

-One morning, you came downstairs to meet about half of the survivor population gathered around where the matches were scheduled, conversing in hushed whispers

-You didn’t notice anything else about the schedule, only two names: Norton Campbell, and The Golden Cave.

-Two things that would not go well together.

-You find a nearby slip of paper, write your name on it, and cover his name

-“I’ll go in his place, just don’t let him know. He shouldn’t have to go back there.”

-Of course, there was no way you’d complete this task without him knowing

-An out-of-place covering on the schedule was obvious

-At first, he was angry when he discovered it. He didn’t need your pity, he’s strong enough to handle it. But, he thought for a moment. Ultimately feeling thankful, rather, that you’d do something so nice for him. 

-There’s something he’s been working on as a personal project, something his time has gone towards that he cares for greatly

-When you returned from your match, on what looked like your last legs, everyone surrounded you and your teammates. 

-Without a word, Norton pulls you away to a quiet spot. You’re thankful for this. You weren’t about to put up with that clamor. 

-“Listen,” He starts, “I’m…” he struggles to find the words. “I’m honored that you did that for me. It… to know you care for me like that is a new, but good, feeling.”

-He produces something from his pocket, it shines as the small object falls into your palm

-Its a miniscule, but perfectly cut, diamond

-“It’s small, but diamonds like these are very valuable…” He goes on, you listen to him talk about what exactly this diamond is and what makes it special

-“I love it, Norton, thank you!.” You hesitate for a moment before lifting yourself and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

-Now he feels as though he must repay you for that gift!

Mike Morton

Physical Touch! Not a moment goes by where the ever dynamic acrobat isn’t near someone, usually physically interacting with them. You know those new interactive emotes? Those were made for him. With a significant other, his show of love increases tenfold.

-In the mornings, Mike will greet you differently depending on his mood

-He didn’t sleep well? You’re engulfed in a tight hug that lasts for a long while before breakfast. If he’s feeling happy, he’ll dramatically bend down on his knee and place his lips on the back of your hand before interlocking arms to lead you to the dining room. If he’s still sleeping, he will expect you to wake him up with a kiss as if he’s sleeping beauty.

-If you look sad, or distracted, he will play footsies with you under the table

-He doesn’t want you thinking about things that make you unhappy

-Expect lots of pats on the head. Even if you’re taller than him, he’ll find a way to ruffle your hair

-In matches, he’ll be as close to you as possible without putting the game at risk

-There are often times when there are only two people decoding 

-Because if you’re containing the hunter, he’s not standing still doing “nothing” as he likes to say

-At night, once you’re both tuckered out and ready for bed, he’ll drag you to whichever of your rooms happens to be closer and pull you into bed, just to latch onto you like a koala

José Baden

José loves to tease. His love language is words of affection appearing through playful banter. Just as well, he is straightforward and appreciates direct and honest confrontations and simple talks about feelings. 

-It may seem contradictory, but that's the beauty of words of affirmation, he loves to hear your voice

-He especially loves it, however, when you play along with him

-He gets into verbal ‘arguments’ frequently, especially with like-minded people such as Demi and Kevin

-Honestly, he’ll love it if you take his ‘side’ and smack-talking the opposing side

-or if you take the stance against him, he definitely likes the stichomythia, verbal repartee, between the two of you when you play argue

-he doesn’t like real arguments though, he’s has a habit of sticking to what he says, and sometimes the arguments could get nasty when he refuses to back down

-but arguments rarely ever happen, he’s much more likely to resolve things with open communication first

-He’ll often just ask for you to talk to him when he’s upset

-He likes to listen to you go on about a subject you’re interested in, and he’ll be ever so grateful if you listen to him as well

-He’s a chatter-box in the best way!

Thank you all for your support <3 I hope you enjoy!

[miscelliteeous]

Been thinking about Spandam again a lot lately for some reason. I was majorly into him back when the Enies Lobby arc was coming out a looooong time ago (please understand this makes me feel very old!) like I printed off pics to keep in my school folders, had a very elaborate selfship (well over a decade before I even heard that term) and all that jazz. Held off on posting this for over a week because it feels a little weird sharing this since they're super old concepts.

Anyways! All that to preface that these headcanons are a tiny bit new, but most are very old concepts from my selfship getting dusted off. Some are a bit toxic, but I mean, it's Spandam, of course they are.

Spandam Headcanons

-General Relationship/History-

He met you through his father’s connections when the two of you were children. Your parents and his arranged a marriage and you and Spandam are expected to accept it.

You spend a month with him every year while your respective parents have a vacation together at a resort.

Spandam whines and bosses you around and you’re expected to put up with it because he’s a year older and his father is a higher rank than yours and this trend continues through the rest of your relationship.

Despite this, you do somewhat enjoy his company, as his weaknesses mean you get to step up and play hero to him often, even if he isn’t the most grateful. And around your teens you realize you do find him cute, even if you would never admit it.

The yearly meetings end when you’re in your late teens and instead you’re stuck having to help plan a reluctant wedding that neither of you are sure you want.

The wedding is long and boring, but you and Spandam surprise each other by having a good time complaining about everything together.

As the years go by and he rises in rank (cough nepobaby cough) you’re by his side, and you get to see a side of him others rarely see. After about a year together, he’d shocked to realize he actually DOES love you, in his own way.

He can be sweet! He likes to spoil you by buying you gifts, and he makes sure you know how expensive/rare they are.

Please join him in being a smug asshole to others and he will be over the moon. Assert your authority belittle, demean, he likes having someone to back him up when he's talking shit.

Honestly can be a pretty shit husband, not gonna lie. You’d need to learn basic combat skills (ideally you’d be trained to an almost Cipher Pol 9 level but he can’t always get what he wants) because in addition to being married to him he’d be expecting you to defend him sometimes.

Do not expect him to put himself in harms way for you though, and he would push you to the ground if it would buy him more time to save himself in a crisis.

No matter how many “spill proof” cups you buy him, he constantly proves them wrong. At least he’s easy to buy gifts for.

It bugs him IMMENSELY that CP9 vastly prefers interacting with you and they actually have a little respect for you.

He does brag about you a lot to his underlings, but its usually in a "my wife is better than you" way, putting others down.

You get to see him without his mask more than anyone else, and he often uses it to elicit sympathy and praise from you. When he’s in a bad mood he’ll sometimes say his face is your fault for not protecting him.

Spandam goes between phases of “no PDA in front of anyone” and “clingy and handsy”, depending on his mood.

The relationship can be rather ‘slap, slap, kiss’ at times, but he doesn’t really hold it against you if you give as good as you get. Sure, he’ll whine and complain that you’re unreasonable, but he’s known you long enough to not take it personally.

So basically: he won’t hesitate to slap you if he’s in a bad mood, so slap him the fuck back! Just be careful, he’s a lot weaker than you. But he’s pretty durable.

Regardless of any fights, he has trouble sleeping at night if he’s not curled up with you so any issues are cleared up before bedtime. He’s much more manageable when it’s just the two of you.

-Family Relationship-

He'd be perfectly happy and fine with never having to see your family again if you don't.

His family though? You’re stuck visiting Spandine any time Spandam wants to.

You’re both expected to continue the family line asap.

Spandam wouldn’t be any extra help during pregnancy, the most he’d do is hire you some assistants or have Funkfreed out more often for you to lean on or to bring you things.

50/50 on if he would miss the birth. It depends on if there’s a work opportunity or not. If he has a chance to rise in rank, he’ll take it.

Same goes for birthdays, anniversaries, and any other holidays. Anything to boost his own standing always comes first.

I’m sorry but there’s a good chance the child would inherit the darker face markings too, or at least the eye ones.

An even worse father than he is a husband, leaves the childcare to you or a nanny. Will not change diapers, clean up throw up, etc.

Still has a fondness for his kid because it’s his, especially if the kid reminds him of himself.

The type to try and buy his kids love and respect.

Unless you took massive steps to curb it, the kid would likely grow up to be a spoiled brat who looks up to Spandam and never realizes how lonely they really feel in his company.

-Misc-

The type to toss and turn in his sleep. Not because he’s tormented or anything but because he can never find the perfect angle to sleep in.

Spandam would only admit it when you’re alone with him, but he likes to lay his head in your lap and have his hair stroked, very calming for such a stressed out guy.

Goes between extremely secure in the relationship to worrying he might lose you to one of his subordinates if you talk to them too long. Then he’s clingy for the rest of the day.

His favorite date spot is anywhere that has a good and highly expensive steak. The price is important because he likes reiterating to you that he can afford very nice things/bragging.

Even if you’re taller, he’d likely call you things like “my little Y/N”, because it makes him feel big and powerful.

During anniversaries when he IS there, he breaks out the good whiskey and likes to has a drink with you.

He acts like he likes black coffee but when he can, he has a SUPER complicated drink order at coffee shops and gets very annoyed when it’s wrong.

You have to put up with him going “don’t you know who I am?!” in public with the dignity and grace that he severely lacks.

If push comes to shove, he wouldn’t hesitate to put your life at risk for his own but he would be very moody and shockingly (to himself) upset with himself for a long time, feeling guilty is something he’s not used to at all.

That being said, it would almost certainly not come to that and you still rank higher in his heart than anyone else.

He’s at your mercy when healing from the Enies Lobby incident and badly injured, but he deserves to be smacked hard for almost leaving you behind during the Buster Call.

Is a lot less smug and a lot more humble towards you after his extensive recovery and being moved to an underling position in CP0.

He becomes a LOT more clingy too, and would prefer you be at his side at all times.

[copperbadge]

i'm reading all the peter wimsey novels because someone recommended gaudy night and that's how i work, and now i'm up to the nine tailors and just finished murder must advertise (my favorite so far), but i found it really hard to get through have his carcase, which was odd since i loved harriet vane so much in strong poison. even the characters seemed to bugger off at the end of have his carcase instead of tying up all the storylines and sayers seemed disengaged after the first act or two. i liked the parts with peter and harriet, even the two chapters that are 99% cipher, but everything else felt weak. did you enjoy this one/why or why not? do you have a favorite of the wimsey novels other than gaudy night?

I may be inducing a fight by saying this but I think Have His Carcase is one of Sayers' weakest novels, and certainly the weakest of those featuring Harriet Vane. I tried to re-read it recently and couldn't get very far into it, and I'm a huge fan of Sayers. I think it's also a necessary book in order to create a complete story for them -- but I don't know that it's necessary to read it in the modern era, and certainly not necessary to re-read it.

(My other picks for least enjoyable: Five Red Herrings and Nine Tailors, both of which are visibly her attempts to write like Agatha Christie, one of her literary heroes -- and they're not bad books, I just don't like Agatha Christie style "clockwork" mysteries, which tend to sacrifice personality to logistics. I suspect this may have impacted Carcase somewhat. We will come back to this.)

Gaudy Night is actually not my favorite overall -- I think it's one of her best, but Murder Must Advertise is my favorite and in fact the first one I read. Which is hilarious because Peter spends a significant amount of time Not Being Peter Wimsey in it, but it's just such a combination of things I love. Advertising (which Sayers worked in and which she also clearly loved writing about), secret identities, crime rings, a hint of romance, office gossip...

Anyway, Carcase. I think the problem is that to get from Strong Poison to Gaudy Night, there has to be a bridge, and it has to be kind of an unpleasant one, and thus you get Have His Carcase. One of the major points of Harriet's arc is that Sayers wanted to contravene the "damsel rescued by the hero" narrative. Not so much because she believed women should save themselves or not, but because she believed that a relationship based on that kind of inequality, where one partner was grateful (or was expected to be grateful eternally) for being saved, was inherently unhealthy and unsustainable, and it was also a super common narrative at the time she was writing. This reaction to the narrative is most visible in her unfinished novel Thrones, Dominations -- which was finished after her death by Jill Paton Walsh, and I'm not a huge fan of the end product, but I've seen the original manuscript held at Wheaton and it's evident that this was a theme before anyone else took over, it wasn't forced into the plot.

In any case, Sayers had to get Harriet and Peter from victim and rescuer to equal footing, and while Gaudy does a lot of lifting in that regard, it doesn't do enough on its own, there had to be a previous groundwork laid. In a sense I'm glad that the grappling they have to do, which is sensible and intelligently written but also really unromantic, was done in Have His Carcase, so that it doesn't intrude more than briefly into Gaudy Night. Carcase is a lot about Harriet setting boundaries and testing whether Peter will cross them, and Peter reacting (sometimes poorly) to someone challenging him in ways he's unaccustomed to being challenged. Carcase is two people finding out the worst parts of each other so they can work out that they love the reality of each other anyways, which is what they're doing in Gaudy. But we have to witness it in Carcase, which is unpleasant. At least for me.

As she matures as an author and gains more power over how she's published, you can see Sayers trying new things -- after Bellona (another fave) she gets very literary with Strong Poison, and then seems to swing between these kind of torturous attempts at Christie's style (Herrings, Tailors) and incredibly sensitive, emotionally delicate books like Murder Must Advertise and Gaudy Night. Carcase is a weird combination of the two, where she seems to be applying the dispassionate Christie style to a book that wants to be Gaudy Night but can't be.

Anyway, even her less enjoyable books can still be pretty fun, and it's worth it to have books like Murder Must Advertise and Strong Poison, and the thrilling romance of Gaudy Night. But yeah, Carcase is a bit of a slog to get through.

[xino-writes]

Whumptober 2024 Day 30 - "who said you could rest?" - sampo

[ao3 series link]

Sampo was tired, utterly exhausted. Some stupid mission he’d volunteered for had taken up too much of his time, and it’s still ongoing. He needs sleep, but this mission is far too important. Something something spy business. It was his decision, though, so he’s stuck here until whatever happens next. And he hopes that whatever happens next is something that will let him finally sleep.

He’s used to going hours without sleep, per se, but he also isn’t used to the amount of effort he’s having to put into this mission. Infiltration wasn’t easy, and then he was constantly assigned, ugh, jobs by these people. It’s not fun in the slightest, and he can’t focus at all with this newfound lack of sleep. Part of him wants to just.. nap and then leave, let the mission sit unfinished. 

He’s spent too much time away from home, and he’s getting restless. But that just might be partly due to his sleep deprivation, and the fact he finds himself falling asleep while sitting in place most of the time. He needs to move, not be stuck doing stupid office work as part of his cover. Being forced into an office job as his cover, and then having to spend nights searching through the building has sucked.. And that’s not only because of the sleep deprivation.

Frankly, Sampo misses his friends and family right now. He was instructed to drop all contact with the outside world for this mission, and being in Penacony alone is just.. not fun. There’s people he recognizes here, don’t get him wrong, and Sparkle’s company is.. Well it’s company! And he knows her! And can talk to her during his investigations! When talking isn’t too much of a risk, that is. He’s not ruining this mission because he’s starved for interaction. 

Besides, his ‘coworkers’ are tolerable. Some of them are clearly tied up in the deeper trenches, but the others are just.. unfortunate people caught in an unfortunate situation. And he has to figure out who’s who. Which means people watching. Which is annoying when you’re entirely bored of this stupid job and all these people that are surrounding you. But he pushes through regardless, and listens in different conversations.

It’s mostly gossip. Or maybe it’s all gossip. He at least understands the hierarchy of this little office now, at least. Most people seem to find him.. odd, and he likes it. It gives him a good cover that he doesn’t even need to build up by himself. Being the weirdo of the office lets him get away with some things, too. He can tap notes into his phone, all in a code he’d come up with as a child. (That only himself and two others know the cipher for. So it’s a good cipher, if he says so himself.)

And no one seems to suspect a thing, based on what he hears and the fact he’s still working here without being called out. Though, perhaps, it’d be more fun if he got called out! Because that way he can actually sleep! Because he’s been exhausted this entire time, and if it weren’t for coffee and caffeine pills he’d have passed out at his desk long ago. Man, call him a hypocrite, telling Gepard to actually rest when he’s.. Doing this. All of this.

It’s fine. He’ll be fine. Sleep deprivation can’t get to him if he’s stimulating his mind! Right? Right?? He’ll be okay! He just needs to finish this mission by listening to the most boring gossip in the world and by digging through paperwork when he sneaks in at night! Which is also boring! Because he’s made no progress since infiltration! And he feels useless for that fact alone! Woohoo!

He’s having so much fun getting nothing of importance done! He chose this job, this role, for the thrills, and he’s getting nothing done except for finding this ‘Sunday’ fellow realllyyy suspicious, but all of that investigating important figures is Sparkle’s job, so he can’t even do anything outside of this stupid ass office job while falling asleep at his desk.

And listening to music isn’t even helping! Hatsune Miku’s wonderous voice isn’t even keeping him awake! It’s making him sleepy! And he can’t have that, no! He needs to stay awake and get this all done! Because if he misses a night, there’s a chance he can miss everything! So it’s a diet of whatever food he can think of, caffeine pills, and coffee from now on! And occasionally an energy drink!

Speaking of which, he’s standing in the middle of the office he usually is working in, and he’s racking his mind for the places the most suspicious people would be usually. He’s already checked most filing cabinets, having picked their locks before deeming every file useless or uninteresting enough that he set them aside. And the only thing he’d found was a keycard, which he didn’t know the purpose of.

After all, in his infiltration, he never got one for this position. And, okay, maybe he should be sucking up to the higher ups to get into a trustworthy position for this. But, this is a far more fun alternative than praising people who don’t deserve it, so he’ll stick with his initial plan. He exhales and walks to the only other place he hasn’t checked. The ‘unused’ office that’s been locked since he began to work here at this location.

It takes him longer than normal, the exhaustion permeating his body as his hands shake. He’s tired, having almost passed out on the way here. He pushes the door open as soon as the lock clicks, and he exhales, looking over his shoulder for a quick moment. No one’s there, he’s just being paranoid. He shakes his head, and then walks over to the filing cabinets in the backmost corner. 

Screw being thorough and only taking what’s necessary, he shoves the files from the locked drawers into his bag, careful enough to not damage them, but still reckless. He’s tired and wants to get at least an hour of sleep tonight. He’s far more focused on the files, getting them together. He’ll give them to Sparkle later, because he enjoys inconviencing her more than most things. 

And then he turns around, and that’s when he realizes that he’s been caught. And there’s no getting out of the gun pointed directly at his forehead. He drops the bag, and steps backwards. There’s gotta be an escape route. He was reckless and stupid. He should’ve planned things better. He didn’t even disguise himself, he was just plain ‘ol Sampo Koski for this. And now he’s on the other end of a gun. 

He clenches his fist. No way out, not unless he fights. He lunges forward, drawing his daggers and going for the hand of the gun’s handler. He barely gets a slice in before he needs to retreat and then go again, this time hitting the gun, the screech of metal on metal worsening his sleep deprievation headache. He groans and then goes for the hit again and again and again until the other drops the gun and he can easily.. decommisson them.

He picks his bag back up, and he makes his way to leave the building. He really deserves that nap, now. Perhaps he’ll take off tomorrow, too. Hell, he might as well be fired, with how his face was clearly seen by the man he’d killed. And there’s no denying that he’s most definitely been caught by now. Guess he wasted his time by ‘doing’ paperwork. (He’d fudged it. Messed it all up intentionally. After all, if he and Sparkle didn’t get anything done, at least he could get them hit with fraud. Possibly.)

Regardless, Sampo’s gotta get home. He’s got a bed calling his name, and a series of texts to make. Screw staying without contact to those he care about, because even if his texts are watched, he’ll enjoy the pain that comes with witnesses Gepard’s oblivious to his flirting. He may be dating the most clueless man in the world when it comes to things like that, but he still does it. It’s funny watching the other realize that he was flirting after the fact.

Once out of the building, he pulls out his “mission only” phone, and sends a voice message to Sparkle.

“Cover’s blown. Dude saw my face. Got a kill onto my count, though. I’ll reach two thousand before you.” And then he shoves it right back into his pocket and continues his walk to his temporary home. He may be walking slowly, but he’s tired as fuck and really, just really, wants to go to bed. To just collapse into the mattress, ignore the pillows and sheets and blankets and just snooze away.

If only he didn’t have to walk there, and could just.. appear there whenever he wants to. Sadly, that’s just.. not possible. Not right now, at least. 

[fictionthorn]

Hiii. How is it going? :)

If it doesn’t make you uncomfortable, could you please write for an SFW ABC for Rob Lucci or Brook?

I love them but I never find so few fanfictions/headcanons about them :(

Thanks!!!

SFW Alphabet: Rob Lucci

CW/TW: None Word Count: 1.0k

Activities - What are their favorite things to do with you? How do you spend your free time?

He likes training/working out with you. Whether it be you training/working out with him or just keeping him company while he does.

Boo! - How do they feel about surprises, giving and receiving?

He doesn't like surprises. Giving or receiving them. He finds them pointless.

Comfort - How do they comfort you when you’re upset? When the tables turn, do they come to you, or do they try to handle it themselves?

He’s not good at comforting you. Honestly, Hattori is better at comforting you when you’re upset. It’s mostly because Lucci doesn’t really know how to comfort.

Lucci knows he doesn’t like seeing you upset but he doesn’t know what to do about it other than take care of whatever or whoever is upsetting you. It might not be perfect, but he tries.

You’ve never seen him upset. Either because he doesn’t get upset or he doesn’t show it. Despite that, you still make sure to check in with him every once in a while. He appreciates how much you care.

Dance - Do they like to dance with you? How good of a dancer are they?

Lucci will not dance with you publicly, but there have been a few moments where he’ll dance with you at home. Usually in the evenings if you have music playing while the two of you clean up dinner.

You’re not sure where he learned but he is a very good dancer.

Excitement - How do they act when they’re excited? What excites them?

For the most part, Lucci acts the same when he’s excited. Aside from maybe a smirk.

He mostly gets excited over successful Cipher Pol missions. He also gets excited to see you when missions are over.

Future - What are their plans for the future? Do they see themselves getting married, having kids?

Lucci never planned on having a relationship. Even after he met you it took him a while to admit his feelings to you.

Now he plans on marrying you. However, he doesn’t plan on having kids.

Gifts - What do they give you as presents? How often do they get you gifts?

Lucci is the type to give you practical gifts. He doesn’t like the idea of getting you something that is just going to sit around so he’ll get you things you can use.

Normally he’ll get you gifts for special occasions like your birthday, holidays, etc.

Hold - How do they hold you? Cuddling, sleeping, holding hands…

When the two of you are out walking around together he’ll usually have an arm around your shoulders.

If your at home hanging out on the couch or something he likes when you sit between his legs.

In bed he tends to have his arms wrapped around your waist.

Ideal - What’s their ideal date like?

He’s a fan of coffee and breakfast dates.

Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they handle it?

He doesn’t get jealous often but there has been a few times someone has gotten a little too close.

Needless to say it didn’t end well for those people.

Kisses - How do they like to kiss you? How frequently do you kiss?

He doesn’t kiss you too frequently but when he does it’s always a passionate kiss.

Love - How do they show you that they love you?

He protects you. He makes sure you always feel safe.

Melt - What do you do that absolutely makes them melt?

You love him for who he is. He’s considered to be a killing machine by the Navy but that never bothered you.

Nicknames - What do they call you, and what are their favorite things to be called?

He’s not a fan of nicknames.

He likes your name and he likes hearing you say his name.

Obvious - How obvious do they make it that they like you?

Not at all. Lucci’s general personality is cold and distant making him next to impossible to read.

You didn’t know until he told you.

Pets - Do they have pets? Do they want them?

He has Hattori.

Quiet - How are the calm, quiet moments with them?

Most of your moments with him are calm and quiet but it’s comforting. You both just really enjoy each other's company.

Romance - How romantic are they? What are their go-to ways of being romantic?

He does his best on the romantic front.

His go-to way of being romantic is having breakfast ready by the time you wake up in the morning.

Safe - What makes them feel safe and comfortable around you?

The way you care about him. He doesn’t have a lot of people that genuinely care about him.

Tend - How do they act when you’re hurt or sick, and vice versa?

If someone hurts you it angers him to no end. One because you got hurt but also because someone was dumb enough to think they could get away with hurting his partner.

If you get hurt on accident or you’re sick, he’ll make sure no one bothers you so you can get plenty of rest.

He rarely gets hurt or sick but when he does he’ll insist that he’s fine even if it’s obvious he’s not. He doesn’t want to make you worry.

Unique - What’s an unusual thing about them that’s oddly charming?

His ventriloquist act with Hattori. You’ve gotta admit it’s kind of cute.

Variety - Do they prefer to keep things the same, or spice it up?

He likes to spice things up every so often.

Wash - What’s it like taking a bath with them, or helping them wash up after a fight?

It’s one of the few times you can fully get him to relax.

XO - How do they show you affection? How much PDA are they willing to show?

He isn’t a big fan of PDA. The most PDA he’ll show is having an arm around you.

Yearn - What do they do when they miss you?

He tends to miss you when he’s away on Cipher Pol missions.

He’ll do his best not to think about it and focus on his job.

Zzz - How do they act when they get sleepy? How is it sleeping in the same bed?

When he gets tired he’ll just go to bed.

He usually goes to bed before you. When you come to bed he’ll wait until you lay down before pulling you closer to him.

[supermarine-silvally]

relationship asks: 40 to 50 for Portada?? emphasis on 48 bc potential Law interaction 👀👀 I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been down lovely :(( sending good vibes your way and there’s no way you can dodge them <33 -🍂

Aww thank you so much Alvita!!! I appreciate it a lot!! <33

40) What's a secret one would never tell the other?

Well, they know each other’s MAJOR secret (i.e. their parentage) and Yara also told Ace about what really went down on Phestris Island with Cipher Pol (when she acquired her Devil Fruit) so I feel like the secrets that they end up keeping from each other are really petty. Like, “I accidentally broke your favourite mug but you assumed Thatch did it and I never bothered to correct you because I didn’t want you to be mad at me”

41) If they had to spend a month apart, how would they fare?

They probably spent at least a month or more apart during Ace’s Blackbeard hunt (before the battle on Banaro Island and its, shall we say, “aftermath”) and while neither of them was happy to be apart from the other that long, they managed to cope alright. They had a piece of each other’s vivre card (Ace had folded his into the shape of a heart before he gave it to her) and could see that the other was doing well through that, and they wrote letters back and forth the whole time. Ace sent Yara a bunch of goodies from his travels, too. Mostly stuff he stole for her.

42) If someone else assumes they are romantic partners, how do they react?

I’m assuming this is before they’re officially together, back in the pining stage lol but Yara handles it with a shrug and a “he’s not my boyfriend, actually” (which Ace has to pretend doesn’t sting nearly as bad as it does). She gets a bit flustered, but is overall pretty good at keeping her racing heart under control (or at least not letting it show on the outside). Ace gets a lot more noticeably flustered. If he’s alone, he probably wouldn’t bother to correct the person (like if a merchant assumed he was shopping for a girlfriend) but if Yara’s there he’ll more vigorously deny it because he doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable— for awhile he just couldn’t fathom the concept of her actually liking him back (poor boy thinks he’s unlovable)

43) If someone else assumes they are blood relatives, how do they react?

They’d think it’s more funny than anything. They look nothing alike. It’d probably become an inside joke about how they wouldn’t wish that fate (being the child of [Ace’s father] or Mihawk) on anyone.

44) If they had to squeeze together in a cramped space, what would happen?

Poor Ace lmao he’s trying his best not to think dirty thoughts (especially before they’re together). If they’re together at that point, though, he might take the opportunity to make a suggestive comment. Depending on the situation, he might even get his wish lol

45) If one of them was in trouble, what would the other do?

Well, Marineford lol — there’s a reason their otp tag is “I’d burn the world for you”— Ace in a more literal sense because of his Devil Fruit, but there’s no lengths Yara wouldn’t go to in order to protect the light of her life.

46) If they could each have one wish related to the other, what would it be?

Yara wishes Ace would be able to fully realize and accept just how loved he really is so he can start to love himself and understand that his life has worth, his existence isn’t a crime, and he deserved to be born.

Ace wishes that Yara and Mihawk would repair their broken relationship and by extension that Yara would accept and embrace who she is. He wants her to find that sense of belonging that she has been searching for her entire life.

47) If they had to solve a complex puzzle together, how would it go?

Yara solves it. Ace watches with his chin resting on her shoulder making unhelpful suggestions and getting shushed in return lol

48) If they swapped bodies, how would they handle it?

It’s too bad Ace and Law never met in canon cuz they’re both gunning for the competition of One Piece’s Most Traumatized, Mentally Unwell Man lmao (Law would probably win on the virtue of Ace at least having Luffy as a surviving family member whereas poor Law lost pretty much everyone, including Corazon ofc) but let’s just say they get hit with Law’s Room powers and that’s how it happens (for the sake of this question I’m also assuming they get full access to each other’s Devil Fruit powers lol)

Ace and Yara know each other’s bodies pretty well so it wouldn’t be completely traumatic for them. Ace is mostly amused by it and spends most of his time playing around with walking through walls and sticking his hand into solid objects. Yara also takes Ace’s powers out for a test drive— she’s always wanted to know just how powerful he really is, so she definitely goes to stand over by the ocean and lets out a few “HIKEN!!!!”s, just for the hell of it. They’re both relieved when they go back to normal, though.

49) If one of them wanted to split up, how would the other react?

If it was earlier in their relationship and they came to the realization that they worked better as friends, they would be able to go back to that state without too much grief. If it came after they’d been together awhile, though, neither of them would take it well at all lol if Ace initiated it, Yara would become petty and angry and vengeful and tbh would probably never speak to him again. If it was Yara splitting up with Ace, then he would get extremely depressed. It would make him hate himself infinitely more than he already does— just another confirmation that he doesn’t deserve to be alive.

50) If they had to write their future selves a note, what would it say?

“Dear future Ace and Yara,

Wherever you are, we hope that you’re happy together and that you both found the peace you have been searching for. We hope that you’re able to fully accept the love that the other person has to offer, and that everything turns out okay in the end. Sometimes it’s hard to see that either of us really will have a future, considering everything we’ve been through, but we hope it exists, and that you found it in good health and spirits. That’s a lot of hope, but times have been dark lately and hope is all we have that we’ll come out the other side alright. But maybe, as long as we have no regrets about the way we chose to live our lives, then that’s all we can ask for, even if one or neither of us makes it out alive.

Here’s to the future, and to hope.

Present Ace and Yara.”

ask game here!

One Piece nakama: @auxiliarydetective @daughter-of-melpomene @xoteajays

[noirandchocolate]

Round 3 super fun happy comments post time!

Match 1, Vimes vs. Rob

Vimes I love you buddy but there is no way you can handle a Feegle going down your drawers.

--@purpledemoncat

Vimes would probably get adopted by the clan. He has a similar distaste for lawyers. All they need to do is get rid of his penchant for following the law.

--@missnotlob

Feegles are superstitious Rob would see the following dark and bugger off.

--@shiftyfly

But also this poll missed a golden opportunity for Rob v Adora Belle. Because there's plenty of people Rob could beat who could also beat Adora. But I firmly believe no male feegle could ever beat her. You really think that someone afraid of the pursin' o' the lips and the tappin' o' the feets could beat Spike??? I do think after the fact all the rest would be terrified of her but Rob would actually become great friends with her. (Much to Moist's terror.)

--@myidealhousehaschickenfeet (This is so funny, yes I definitely want these two to meet.)

Match 2, Granny vs. the Librarian

Granny would just Borrow him and we'd have a "stop hitting yourself!!' situation.

--@purpledemoncat

Granny turns the Librarian back into a human, or headologies him into doing it himself. He spends the next week crying and trying to grab things with his feet.

--@missnotlob

I once again point out that Granny Weatherwax is somewhat unclear on the concept of a friendly fight and very unclear on the subject of Granny Weatherwax losing anything. The Librarian ain't no fool. He's either pulling a Rincewind or backing away very slowly.

--@the-damn-things-overlap

The Librarian is a clever ape. He takes the bag of peanuts Gytha Ogg brought, thoughtfully eats one, shakes his head and points to Granny. He isn't gonna fight her.

--@msmeiriona

I feel like the fact that the Librarian is an inherently silly figure is what could lead to an upset here. Granny can rise above any serious threat and will herself look silly sometimes in handling minor ones like say raindrops or her broomstick. But I don't know how well she'd tangle with an inherently silly threat. And I think the Librarian could actually snag this one.

--@omicheese

Match 3, Vetinari vs. Nanny

@pourablecat did fanart of this match's outcome!

I can't articulate why I voted Nanny but I looked into her smiling face and it just felt right.

--@hazelnootle

There's a reason why Nanny lives in Lancre and it's to stop her from pile driving this man.

--@purpledemoncat

It's sheer narrative logic. What looks like a friendly old lady goes up against a trained assassin. The only way this could look more million to one was if she were blindfolded on one leg.

--@katistrophe

Vetinari plays Thud, Nanny Ogg plays Twister.

--@modstin

Would Nanny winning be fucking hilarious? Yes. But they had to invent a cursed gun and an entirely new system of poisoning to get a scratch on Vetinari so. And he couldn't be convinced to drink her scumble anyway. Vetinari got one-shotted by a magic user exactly once and is not about to let that happen again.

--@twofoursixohjuan

Vetinari may be a dictator but Nanny Ogg has to plan family game night for 100 people every weekend. I think that makes her far more powerful a foe. His ass is not ready for the Ogg.

--@spunchthegoblin

The only person Vetinari has ever feared is his Aunt. Nanny is the primordial matter from which all Aunties are formed.

--@thisblogisboundforglory-blog

Match 4, Carrot vs. Angua

@thestuffedalligator and @oorpe made this one sexy in a silly kind of way, and I am here for it.

Carrot, being ever the chivalrous gentleman, tries to LET Angua win. She realizes what he's up to & losers her whole entire temper. Carrot ends up having to pin her to stop her thrashing him in a fit of rage. he wins by accident for the pin & is DREADFULLY embarrassed about it.

--@javaelemental

This is a IDW Sonic Issue #57 moment, here.

--@cipher-of-the-round-table (I don't know what his means but I laughed.)

SO MUCH good commentary on the fights this time, I really enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts. Everybody go check out the notes on all the fights, they're full of more funny and well-reasoned rationales for voting!

[ckret2]

I know you probably don't have an answer, but id like to see what you think. Was the book of Bill written during his time in the Theraprism or way beforehand? Or is it just like Ford's journal where he's already writing in it regardless. Also I'm trying to figure out how the Book of Bill plays a part in this fanfic since the Pines family have already read it and already know his secrets? Or did they not read it all the way and only paid attention to what they wanted to?

I don't need to have an answer of my own because the book thoroughly provides one. I'm not gonna grab screenshots and quotes because that would take a whole lot of time and I don't wanna spend that kind of time so I'm just gonna state for the record all of the below is canonical to something said either in the book or (for Gus) in promotional material.

The book is made to "communicate" with Bill even after death. The contents of The Book of Bill actively update for each person reading it, as they read it, and even can change each time they open the book.

The book's made out of brain matter, and Bill says he can possess anything with neurons (thus letting him alter the book's contents in real time).

Bill is actively remotely writing the book from the Theraprism as it's being read. The staff even catches him in the act of writing it and inserts a note a few pages before the end of the book saying he's breaking the rules by contacting outsiders but they'll give him five minutes to wrap up. We get a photo of him in his little orange prison jumpsuit beaming his thoughts onto the page of his end of the book (suggesting TBOB works like a walkie talkie—Bill says something into a book on his end and it comes out of the book on the other end).

When Ford looks in the book, he sees a bunch of difficult riddles. When Mabel looks in the book, it offers to tell her about everyone who's had a crush on her. When Stan looks at it, it has a chapter on how to win the lottery. When Gus (the park ranger from OregonParksDept on twitter) opens the book, Bill addresses him by name, talks to him about Gus's own life, and asks him if he wants to improve his life.

When YOU—a fan of Bill Cipher and Gravity Falls—look at the book, it tells you Bill's opinions on a lot of topics, his history, and the history of Gravity Falls. Nobody in-universe who opens the book is a Bill Cipher fan.

The Pines family didn't see his secrets because he didn't list his secrets for them to see. He listed what he desperately thought might persuade each of them to keep reading long enough to let him worm into their heads and start manipulating them—and they thought his attempt was pretty pathetic. They slapped notes in the book for the next person to pick it up and chucked it.

[roseaesynstylae]

Heir to the Empire: Chapter 2

"'Luke?'

The voice came softly but insistently. Pausing amid the familiar landscape of Tatooine -- familiar but oddly distorted -- Luke Skywalker turned to look."

Something about the way this chapter begins sticks with me. Opening a story with a dream is cliche, but it works in this context, Obi-Wan reaching out for the last time to bid Luke farewell.

"'I've come to say good-bye, Luke.'

The landscape seemed to tremble; and abruptly, a small part of Luke's mind remember that he was asleep. Asleep in his suite in the Imperial Palace, and dreaming of Ben Kenobi.

'No, I'm not a dream," Ben assured him, answering Luke's unspoken thought. 'But the distances separating us have become too great for me to appear to you in any other way. Now, even this last path is being closed to me.'

'No,' Luke heard himself say. 'You can't leave us, Ben. We need you.'"

This scene has always been bittersweet, but after the release of the prequels and spinoffs and all stories we've gotten with Obi-Wan, it's even more so. We've had all this detail on his life and now he's gone. Luke will never hear about Siri Tachi or Ahsoka or how he said "Hello there" to General Grievous. He won't know about Qui-Gon Jinn and all the adventures they had. I know the point is that Luke doesn't know any of these things, that he's basically winging it with the minimal training he got from Obi-Wan and Yoda, but it's still depressing. With all the expanded universe content, we know all of what was lost with the Empire's rise.

"Then I am alone, he told himself. I am the last of the Jedi.

He seemed to hear Ben's voice, faint and and indistinct, as if from a great distance. 'Not the last of the old Jedi, Luke. The first of the new."

I know that this was published decades before The Last Jedi was a twinkle in Rian Johnson's eye, but this is still a little distracting with hindsight.

My personal interpretation of Obi-Wan's final words is that, with so much lost, the Jedi Order Luke will build will be very different. It will try to follow the same principles, but it will take a different shape. Which it did.

"First Uncle Ben and Aunt Beru had been murdered; then Darth Vader, his real father, had sacrificed his own life for Luke's; and now even Ben Kenobi's spirit had been taken away.

For the third time, he'd been orphaned."

Luke doesn't know about Padmé at this point, but it just adds another layer of sadness. He can't even add her name to the list of parents he's lost because she's a cipher to him. He knows he has a biological mother, obviously, but it isn't like he has time to search for her. Later books in Legends make it clear that he had no clue that she was dead and tried to find her, which obviously didn't work out. The prequels just keep adding sadness to everything that was written before they came out.

"But for Leia, just over three months pregnant, to be spending the bulk of her time here...

[...] The really maddening part of it was that he couldn't sense any such concentration of evil in the Palace. The Council had made a point of asking him about that, in fact, when they'd first considered moving to the Imperial City. He'd had to grit his teeth and tell them that, no, there seemed to be no residual effects of the Emperor's stay.

But just because he couldn't sense it didn't necessarily mean that it wasn't there."

Knowing what ended up happening to Jacen, Luke's concerns seem quite justified, retroactively.

"Awakened in the middle of the night, dressed in an old robe with her hair in total disarray, Winter still looked more regal than Leia herself could manage on her best days. She'd lost track of the times when, as children together on Alderaan, some visitor to the Viceroy's court had automatically assumed that Winter was, in fact, the Princess Leia.

Winter had probably not lost track, of course. Anyone who could remember whole conversations verbatim should certainly be able to reconstruct the number of times she'd been mistaken for a royal princess.

Leia had often wondered what the rest of the Provisional Council members would think if they knew that the silent assistant sitting beside her at official meetings or standing beside her at unofficial corridor conversations was effectively recording every word they said. Some of them, she suspected, wouldn't like it at all."

Leia looks plenty royal. She just has that vibe, even when she isn't in formal dress.

Knowing how much trouble a certain Viceroy caused for Leia's biological mother, the fact that Bail Organa is referred to as a viceroy here is rather funny to me.

I haven't read much stuff with Winter in it, but the way she's described her sort of reminds me of Sabé for some reason.

"Whoever had taken over what was left of Jabba the Hutt's organization must have moved operations off Tatooine."

I take note of this line to say: Han, if you were in Disney's Star Wars, the answer to any questions would be that the man who took over did not move off of Tatooine, sarlaacs can be escaped via use of fire, and you should probably start running.

"As far as he was concerned, the only times when Wedge didn't stick out like a lump on plate glass was when he was sitting in the cockpit of an X-wing blasting TIE fighters into dust."

A wonderful description of Wedge.

That's all. I didn't find too much to comment on.

[cipher-zoo]

@jazminetoad I put it under the cut, because it has gotten a little longer than I expected

I have to admit, this one had me stumped for a second. But then it hit me!

Beauty and the Beast AU or more precisely a Story based solely on these lyrics from Beauty and the Beast:

"There's something sweet And almost kind But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined But now he's dear, and so unsure I wonder why I didn't see it there before"

And I know what people are going to say "dear, unsure?", Cipher, that's just out of character and to that I say... okay yeah, maybe! But come on! That man is so über confident, I am SURE that there is at least one part of his life, where he is a little shy. It must be. And I am deciding to take creative freedom and say that part of his life is experience.

Okay, now that that is out of the way, let's get this started.

For the sake of this story we would have to get Nami on the Victoria Punk - for my mental state's sake, I'm going to pretend that the recent chapter didn't happen. How exactly that happens isn't of much importance to us. Maybe there was a hot exit required on the last island and with the ninja-pirate-mink-samurai-alliance still going strong, Nami had to board Kid's ship. [It's okay though, they will meet with the Sunny as soon as possible]

Now on the Kid Pirates Ship we get a bit of a "Barbosa and Elisabeth Swan" Moment, where Kid in all his "maturity" decides, to try and scare Nami with his crew. After all, the aesthetic of the Sunny, vs the aesthetic of the Victoria are... different. However, he does not expect Nami to be as unfazed as she is. Sure, she is a little weirded out by some of their antics, but beneath it all she sees a crew that deeply cares about each other. And she can relate to that.

She also reprimands Kid and tells him, that it is foolish of him to assume that the Sunny can't get as rowdy as the Punk, just because their color scheme is different.

At this point, Kid say something along the line of: "You pretty princesses always get scared of shit like this."

Which would lead beautifully into a "You think I'm pretty?" "No-, I said you look shitty!" Situation, btw.

That kicks off a sort of "rivalry", where both Kid and Nami will try to antagonize the other [Nami is far more successful in riling Kid up, because Kid is easily riled up] and they settle quite well into that dynamic. It almost turns into some kind of game.

Now, a few days into them lying low - again, the reason for that is to be decided - Nami decides to take a peak at Kid's maps - to see if there is any information she can take from them, that she doesn't already have herself.

While doing that, she stumbles across some of his mechanical drawings. Of things, he built or wants to build etc. She also sees that quite a few of them have a some splashes of ink or lines, where they shouldn't be any.

So she decides to show Kid, how she draws on the Sunny, so that her ink won't smear - even with a rowdy crew.

Kid is, surprisingly mellow at the time, maybe even thankful for the tip - not that he would admit that - and they get talking. About how and why they spend their times drawing on their ships. Neither reveals their full backstory, but it is enough to ensure that the other understands why their work is important to them.

They get surprisingly close during their conversation and Nami realizes that Kid has a far softer side to him, something she saw glimpses of before, when he protected his crew. It is a welcome change to his usual brash behavior, and she finds it strangely endearing, when he blushes and pulls away, when they get a little too close to each other.

Nami uses this moment in his quarters to steal something of his - something not too important, just a little trinket she can keep. But something that, once noticed, he would miss.

So when a while later the Sunny and the Victoria meet up and Nami returns to her own crew, she shows Kid the trinket just a few seconds before the Sunny bursts away. Thus, starting a cat and mouse game, where every time the two crews meet, Kid and Nami will try to steal something off the other (Nami is FAR more successful, but Kid manages ones or twice) until FINALLY one of them steals a kiss!

[an-au-blog]

Can you make one piece modern au except the Devil fruits, Haki and Non-human species(fishmen, giants, merfolk etc) still exist?

idk what "make" implies, but I can try and world-build a bit, yeah.

I'm going to assume that we are living in today's world and not a future version of the one piece world. (Matt Patt has an amazing analysis on why the op would be technologically set back btw)

Okay, considering the devil fruits and powers and haki and all that jazz, it's safe to assume that there would still be a major force that works as government officials that use these things to their advantage. I'm not talking about a simple police force or even FBI/CIA etc, I'm talking strictly about a force for power users that would be something like Cipher Pol. But also knowing how people think, they'd be regarded as simple conspiracy theories.

There would also be a type of "hero/villain" dynamic with the fruit users. But I feel like Luffy would have his crew be more of "vigilantes" than heroes. Probably because Shanks would've told him something like "to be a hero means you need to answer to someone and I like doing my own thing" or something. Roger being the first real vigilante, as he rejected the government's control over heroes and wasn't afraid to go out without a mask like the villains.

The races like giants or dressrossa's "fairies" would probably be ostracized by "normal sized" folk, because they're the minority. There would be lands like Big Mom's where they'd try and maintain everything universal but just think about how toilets for giants would look next to a person who's let's say 5'9? that man will fall in! Regardless "average/normal" size would prob be bigger than irl people, as most op characters are around 3 feet tall. So that would probably be the "normal". Think Doflamingos or Corazon.

REGARDLESS OF THAT! I think big cities and counties would have accomodations for most if not all races. Maybe they'd make a system that can be regulated and adapted for different sizes, like how they're roads for cars and roads for bikes but it's for big and small people.

The concept of the economy would be absolutely insane though. Look at it this way: If the food that is enough to feed a giant is the same amount of money as all the other foods, giants would have to always be either rich or spending everything on food. Being paid differently to meet their needs would feel unfair. Because yes, you can hire them to do some type of construction work or heavy physical labor - things that a man three times smaller than them can't do, but not everyone would want to work such jobs. So what? You pay a smaller person who works retail the same as a giant who works retail and then the smaller person uses their paycheck to feed their entire family for a month while the giant starves? There could be a workaround where the currency or shops are tailored specifically to size but I just know there would be people scamming the system. (it made me think of the elephant ice cream scene in Zootopia)

I think the fishmen thing we saw in canon would be closest to what would be in a modern world... well... minus the gang thing probably because I think they would have fixed the racist issue somewhat by then... I hope... What I mean is - sure there would be fishmen out and about, but most of them would stay in the water out of pure convenience.

But idk those are my thoughts ig...

[tiredassmage]

oc tag game

Tagged by @commander-krios <3

Favorite OC - Asked like this is even a question Tyr. I think it's very obvious if you spend a few minutes here that he is definitively the favorite child lmaooo.

Newest OC - Mmmm, toss-up between Satia and Alucren, about a week apart according to my screens' timestamp. Probably Satia, in essence, because Alucren technically existed before his current physical form finally settled, but Satia is new from the ground up. She's about to be a month old tomorrow, actually, lol!

Oldest OC (Not age-wise, the length you've had them) - Astor, or Astserses as he's known in the Star War. Ouughhh, he's been around since... 2015??? Fuck. He was originally just a fantasy genre oc and I have toted him to pretty much every fandom I have been in ever since.

Meanest OC - Len. Dickhead. Genuinely a mostly irredeemable asshat because he chooses to be.

Softest OC - Mmmm... Toss-up between... XIV Astor, Astserses (Astor but SW, essentially), and... maybe Cinaed?

Most Aloof/Standoffish - Shay (XIV) is obstinate on purpose and does this even with people who have unlocked his friendship path.

Dumbest (Affectionate) OC - Leo. Oh, Leo. (Affectionate)

Smartest OC - Mmfh. Satia has probably been through the most Learning, but I'd kind of argue Tyr. His entire life has essentially been based off of his observational learning skills and he is So Vigilant all the time because he has to be, so he's become very good at always poking and prodding for the new need-to-know.

Horniest OC - Honest to the Light, I am starting to believe it's Satia, for fuck's sake woman, stop collecting men like pokeman. Honorable mention to Theo (my XIV rogue) who is a walking Vine and probably has the actual unabashedly dirtiest mind that he is more than willing to unleash upon the universe.

OC You'd Bang - Okay, I am ace, so like, what I want is just like. someone to cuddle me on the couch and maybe play with my hair, tbh, bUT. hrhglglglk I feel like it'd be a crime not to say Tyr because like ANYTHING for you, Cipher Nine, sir, I'm so unwell about him and he's so, so handsome, fuck. Uhm. But also XIV Astor. I know he'd give really good hugs and he makes really, really good tea and he'd just take good care of me. Similarly I think hugging Cin would be so warm and so good so also that.

OC You'd Be Best Friends With In IRL - XIV Astor. We'd be sending animal pics to each other constantly for real.

I shall tag auuhhhh @fatewalker-phoenix @ffxivbabey @captainderyn uhh uhhh my friends with multiple ocs my brain is BLANKING but uhm. do it if u think it'd be fun, tagging u in spirit.