#for fuck sake self why???
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When your pea brain said Primis Ji eun's hair looks anime-like and needs to be changed to fit with the timeline and tradition... Again
#codz#codz oc#original character#gong ji eun#primis ji eun#this is not gonna end well for my poor brain#idk but Ji eun's hair was like growing with me for months and then I went ahead to change it once more#even have plans to change some of her outfit#for fuck sake self why???#hc but Ji eun has long hair before and turns it into a braided bun like hairstyle until she's fed up brushing it for how many times#so she cut it#idk if I should keep her hairstyle like it should be or change it#I am very uncertain already
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feetman
#hlvrai#half live vr but the ai is self aware#gordon freeman#gordon feetman#so idk if theres any like ‘metastory’ to there being a player or if its literally just supposed to be wayne#but i thought it would be kinda interesting for the player to be his own guy#cause like to me#a big part of it that makes it fun is that gordon has like#no actual stakes#dude is getting pissed for the sake of it#he knows its a game and is just freaking out at the ai being so alive u know#now since i cant remember if theres some kind of canon or metastory to the player you can completely decide for yourself why hes playing#or how he got the game#is he just some guy? is it an experiment? is it for his job? who knows!#hes The Player#also if ur wondering why his design is so similar to gordons#its cause i didnt wanna stray into the unrecognizable lmao#also. i really really really didnt wanna draw the fucking suit#and yes thats benrey on the tamagotchi#i think it would be very funny if he could cart them all around in tamagotchis#sorry for long tags
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Marvel writer: Then Wade get involved with monsters! And–
Me:
#Who tf thought this was a good idea#by fuck sake ANY Deadpool fan liked that? I can't believe it#reveal yourself there's no way absolutely no way#“Wade joining monsters because of his face or whatever” I am going to steal your computer#I am going to call google docs and prevent you from using I am going personally install Microsoft of any eletronic you might have#Deadpool#why was this a thing#'sure let's put this torturer and cancer survivor along with monsters because he looked *like that* huh?#the only person that *might* had taken something valuable out of this was Wong and even so I have to admit it was like seeing someone#take the wrecks and try to fix it with the little time they had#and I might confess#it was good? But still it wasn't good *enough*#I do trust Alyssa work better than any recent writer by the simple fact that they like him. Like ALOT it is clear how much they like him as#a character and respect him. But I am not so sure they were interested in making a important arc of him and set space for a new and better#direction or just pretty much self indulge and fanservice their way out of it. Which I am going to be honest by the level of writing Wade#received I can respect *at least that* and their OC was compelling instead of *gesture vaguely of hot woman self insert of the week that#looks wearily similar to Syrin.#like– Just use Syrin it's the same arc ITS THE SAME ARC#Wade Wilson
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A memory prodded at Theon. In one of his rare curt letters, Lord Balon had written of his youngest brother going down in a storm, and turning holy when he washed up safe on shore. -Theon I, aCoK
this little glimpse of balon/theon's strained long-distance relationship kinda fascinates me now. can't believe i'm going to defend balon as a father to theon in any way, however small, but i feel like hindsight has kinda blinded fandom into thinking balon gave up theon for dead and gone the moment he gave him away as hostage. this also carries the underlying assumption that balon was always going to rebel again making theon's life already forfeit to him.
thing is, while balon undoubtedly called his banners before theon came home, that also coincided with robert and ned both being recently dead, making that 2nd war seem really opportunistic. as if the only thing balon learned from his first rebellion was that king robert was strong enough to defeat him, the only man capable of defeating the great balon. so when that enemy dies, balon's crown is all but won in his mind, and with the death of ned too he could use his next war to take revenge on the (dead) man who took his son from him. maybe with robert's lifestyle he could have hoped to outlive him despite being older than robert, but robert and ned together? that must have seemed like a miraculous chance straight from the drowned god himself, a chance to rise up and take revenge that it was his duty to take for his people, even if it meant risking the life of his youngest child who'd been gone for 10 years anyway.
but before all that, even if robert being still alive was the real deterrant keeping him from warring again, he was, in effect, not only keeping theon safe by paying the hostage-ransom of keeping the peace, he was also keeping up a bare minimum connection with theon through rare and curt correspondence updating him on family events like aeron getting born again (and i'm assuming that's also how theon knew what asha's ship was named). idt we should so easily ignore that this is a society which views kinslaying as a grave offense regardless of circumstances or personal feelings, and one which greatly values male heirs over female heirs. i doubt balon was so much a feminist girldad that he just switched 12yo asha into the son slot right away as soon as all her brothers were lost. imo it was more likely a gradual process done not so consciously as asha proved herself worthy growing up and theon's time in the north stretched on and on. all until such point as asha had achieved son status and only son status at that, (maybe also coinciding with alannys leaving him so he had even less reason to keep up with her baby boy?), and then theon could be written off as belonging to the enemy, no longer ironborn or a son of balon, so sanctity of greyjoy life no longer applied to him. (real ironborn greyjoy son already killed by darth greenlander theon, from a certain point of view.) only then could balon be a not-father to theon, not welcoming him back home or even giving him a chance to prove his loyalty by providing intelligence on the northerners and the lands they were about to invade. (which could have made balon's war plans a touch less stupid. see, it all comes back to criticizing him in the end.)
in fact, come to think of it, i wonder if one thing ned and balon had in common is just not thinking of the danger of theon being executed as a hostage, not taking ownership of that possibility bc it hadn't happened yet. and hey, if it ever did come to that they could each tell themselves it would be the other guy's fault really, i was just doing my duty to my king/as a king to all my proud people. and that meant their actions didn't have to be obviously at odds with ned's view of himself as a good man opposed to killing children or balon's view of himself as great greyjoy patriarch and victim of the greenlanders (who could ofc prevail against them all if given the right chance).
#valyrianscrolls#asoiaf meta#asoiaf#theon greyjoy#balon greyjoy#unclear to me if balon would rebel if ned had survived robert's death#like hed obvsly still be stewing in resentment hankering for that great victory in his head#but ned and robert both dead w the north seemingly undefended was the impetus in canon and not a chance anyone could anticipate#and balon didnt even fight in that 2nd rebellion#so maybe not actually so bold anymore or eager to put his fantasies into practice if it meant fighting ned again actually in the north#taking kids hostage is fucked up and inherently abusive imo#but from a self-preservation standpoint why keep taking hostages if enough distance obvsly made them worthless?#ie the majority of people would still value heirs for the sake of inheritance and family honor if not love#thats a reasonable thing for people to assume including theon#(c)lsb
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just need to vent about the Olympics
#Saw the shittiest take saying “on top of the emotional distress on imane imagine how much in danger she is back home”#are you stupid? no seriously. are you stupid?#You think the entire goddamn country who sent here to the Olympics and the mena singing her praises didn't already know about the yx thing?#“oh i meant like bc of the trans allegations and yk”#literally go fuck yourself#don't make the cost of yout activism the demeaning of arab countries and painting us as savages#some of you are too comfortable showing your racism and ignorance under the guise of supporting queer identities#surprise surprise! us in those “barbaric uncivilised” countries don't go throwing people over roofs bc of trans allegations#Yes women can dress as manly as they want and hijab is never forced. Do you ever think before you speak??#Women like imane are welcomed and common in arab countries#the transphobes we have here are the same fucking ones you have in the west! how come yours is special and civilised terfs???#And stop calling her khalif for fucks sake. learn how arabic names work before butchering them with your ignorant self centered naming systm#Imane is her first name. Khalif is her FATHER'S first name. You're calling her by her father's first name NOT her last name#arabic names go with your first name first. father's first name second. grandpa firstname third then great grandpa THEN last name#call her imane and stop embarrassing yourself bc you're just calling her by a man's name. her father's#“trans allegations” as if our people take the west media seriously rather than a circus show at best. You're repeating old news.#And even if there were. People here are actually a community nurtured on kindness. even the most conservatives mind their business#We're raised on being a community. strangers are your brothers and sisters. Live and let live#But your goddamn media takes stories of religion extremist and paints ALL of us like that. and your tiny brain actually believes it#Hey! you know those gay stories on my blog you've been reading? They were written by a savage arab oh no!#They were written by someone who lives in those dangerous arabic countries! oh no!#You don't know our culture. You don't know our beliefs. You will never grasp our ideals bc they were weaved from kindness and helping others#So don't fucking talk shit about things you know NOTHING about. You don't know the queer arab struggles#the same bad apples you have there we have here. shitty people are shitty regardless of nationality#But actually we do have some etiquette and considerations for others here. We don't go throwing bricks at queen tourists do we?#So why would we do it to our own people you sad excuse of a human
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for the ship ask game, have you ever thought about simm!master/eleven? would you like to?
would i ever!!!!!!
this was the basis of one of my posts about little amy so long ago. a hypothetical s5 where the master sticks with the doctor after he regenerates. but like can we talk about how insane that dynamic between him and amelia, the literal eight year old, would be. look at me. one of the defining things of eleven's run is that the first face he saw was amy's. seared onto his hearts!!! now, imagine that happens in a world where the master did everything right to be that person, and it was still amy. the tardis crashed, and the doctor went one way and the master went the other, and by the time the master drags himself soaking wet out of what was the swimming pool and into amelia's garden, the doctor is already having dinner with some random human child.
things simm!master is not above: being a little bitch to amy about this. yes, even when she's eight. (amelia pond with her stories about her magical raggedy doctor!! ...and the trash rat who crawled out of his time machine after him and threatened to eat her. wait okay hold on i know im getting distracted here but aslkjdalkjsd rory who amy makes dress up as the doctor vs mels who insists on dressing up as the master because she craves violence and an excuse to bite people.)
ANYWAY. god. eleven who is this bottomless well of grief and rage. and the master who is so much like him in this incarnation. silly goofy guys who burn too bright, burn up everything and everyone around them. what is simm!master if not a version of eleven untempered by kindness. i wonder what the master would have to say about a version of the doctor who is aware of how scared people are of him and uses it to his advantage. who scares the rest of the universe so much that they try to lock him away and kill him and do anything they can to get rid of him. when they lock the doctor up in the pandorica, does the master give him the final shove into the chair or is he a few feet away, just barely restrained, impotently snapping and snarling to prevent this?
but never looking at it directly, right? neither of them would be able to. not at what's between them, not at what came before. if you don't talk about that time you both saved each other, then maybe you can pretend it didn't happen.
i think the master would make eleven worse, no doubt about it. i think eleven might just make the master a little better, and he'd hate that but that wouldn't stop it from happening. they might find some sort of equilibrium, just this once, a little willing to bend in the aftermath of the events of the end of time. that part of the master that will be missy one day wakes up. the part of the doctor that was once the time lord victorious gets a last glorious breath. they can have that, together.
okay. okay. one last thing. gets ill thinking about eleven who is so physically affectionate being that way with the master. with mr 'im going to kiss my wife i married for political gain like im starving'. with mr 'time lord telepathy does not require physical contact but if we don't touch foreheads right now ill die'. with mr 'fuck u but also im gonna die in your arms, don't leave or let me go before everything falls quiet.' thinks about eleven touching him and hugging him and kissing him and- thinks about the master recoiling from it, hackles raised, or shoving the doctor away when he does. thinks about the doctor not stopping. thinks about the master getting accustomed to his touch, taking it greedily. (thinks about missy kissing the doctor to greet him later.)
yeag <3
[put any ship in my ask box and i’ll give my brutally honest opinion]
#ask#oh for fucks sake i didnt even touch on the doctor saving gallifrey i didnt even-#no no look at me look at me. day of the doctor with simm!master also there tagging along like clara does#because that's his home too. but that's where he was *used*. that's where he was made into a tool to be discarded. *diseased.*#the doctor is thinking about the children. the master is thinking about being one of those children and how much it *hurt*.#he's selfish. of course he is. the doctor is too. that's why he decides he gets to choose whether gallifrey lives or dies.#let the master get angry with him for deciding he chose wrong the first time.#let him get mad at undoing their inheritance as the last of their kind! the doctor fought him so hard to make sure the master couldn't#fix this his way. but the doctor gets to fix it his?#also ten here with simm!master pre-eot. ough. gah. HHWAH. i thought you were dead.....#elated horrified confused to see him. ohhohoho let eleven be a little mean to his old self. let him step between the master and ten.#casually. you know. but also keeping them apart. he's cruel to himself like that. he really is.#anyway. the master arguing for gallifrey to burn. the doctor arguing back for it to be saved. and all the things they won't say that the#argument is *actually* about. and send.
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#haha bot shitposting for the sake of it#haha i dont even wanna art anymore im forcing myself to#my art#art#artists on tumblr#artwork#i dont fucking know#i dont know#i dont know bro#digital art#my artwork#my art <3#trying not to shit post#shit posting#shitpost#delete later#ah shit i forgot to do the nails mb#redo later#honestly for working on this for only an hour and a half i dont hate it that much#im on a time crunch and i told myself ill fin it in two hours#note to self ALWAYS RENDER SKIN FIRST IDC IF HAIR IS MORE FUN DO IT STAR ISTG#why my procrasinator ass#anyway this is way too many tags gn me sleep now
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Yknow something that gets me abt certain fanon depictions of kai is that he’s portrayed with no sense of self preservation, as if he’s self sacrificing and burned out, and I think I dislike it bc it feels like the opposite of his character most of the time.
Yeah some of the actions he takes are harmful to himself in some way, but it’s never intended to, they were ways of coping and making himself feel better.
Like the green ninja plot, he is insecure in his place, so he strives for the highest title to make him feel better.
The red shogun isn’t him beating himself up and not caring about his own well being. He was winning fights, fully engaging in the job, taking his frustration out on others and drinking away his issues, and yeah there’s self loathing in that, but there’s also him trying to make himself feel better, to redirect hurt away from himself.
Him prematurely concluding his parents were the bad guys in s7, is (imo) his way of rationalising his mixed feelings, in order to keep himself okay.
He’s not a reckless war machine who throws himself into battle with no hesitation, he tries to keep himself safe.
Kai is self-prioritised and yknow I think people in general really demonise that kinda of trait both in fiction and irl and that’s actually kind of harmful. The self sacrificial trait is so grossly over romanticised and idk it’s a breathe of fresh air when you see a character who doesn’t start out that way or end that way. Like nothing wrong with that trait being written, it’s just like sometimes it feels like people are only allowed to prioritise themselves if they previously have no sense of self care, bc then it’s seen as a healthy improvement. But in any other case, it means you’re selfish and that’s a bad thing apparently.
Like no. Being selfish and loving yourself and thinking you are hot shit and the smartest person alive and prioritising things that make you happy. None of that makes you evil or morally wrong. If in attempts to meet your needs you try to hurt someone else, or end up hurting yourself, then the action you took was bad but the intent isn’t! Fuck the media that finds people loving themselves as immorally wrong! Fuck it! It is not sexy to hate yourself actually.
I want more fanon Kais indulge in activities that make him happy, Kais that make bad decisions in trying to protect himself and Kais that have good coping mechanisms because he’s still trying to protect himself he’s just found better ways of doing it.
Bc it’s canon and it feels like it gets erased a bit because people somehow don’t find self love appealing unless the character was self hating first.
#tangibly related but the people who think that kai sacrificed everything often forget that Nya#every fucking season she is sacrificing and giving up shit#like she is right there#she’s not AS bad either but like she does so much for the sake of others yknow#can someone#someone write a fic#where kai teaches Nya to have more self preservation and to not get flung about by others needs#pls#anyways half way through this post I realised I have So Many Issues TM#Like oh god#the whole ‘I don’t matter! my only purpose is to be there for my friends’ fucked me up so hard that like to this day#i cannot see when someone crossed multiple boundaries that they probably shouldn’t#because my brain is lazer focused on trying to be convenient to them#like oh man#im traumatised#and Ik there’s definitely so many of you on tumblr who are probably the same#because we live in a capitalist society where the walls subtly remind you that you must be convenient#and so many of you are queer and used to having to repress your identity for other people’s comfort#and so many of you are neurodivergant/disabled and are told every day that meeting your needs are inconvenient for everyone else#BUT THIS IS WHY WE SHOULD BE PROUD OF BEING SELFISH AND LOVING OURSELVES#BECAUSE ITS HARD SOMETIMES AND THE FACT THAT WE CAN FIND LOVE FOR OURSELVES IS SUCH AN AMAZING SKILL#AHHHHH#sorry for cutting so deep into this#i need a therapist maybe#ninjago#Ninjago kai#ninjago analysis
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going to start using this platform like twitter again and by that i mean posting relentlessly and going on rants in the tags
#original#everyone is getting meaner on there it's still fine for me because i mostly only have art in my#main feed on my main account but GOD#one of my favorite artists on there (the chill guy guy) got doxxed because he didnt want his work to be used in shitcoin scams#i know he's on here and other platforms but that was kind of one of the last straws for me because the block list under his posts were#getting to be way too much#like how and why is there so much hate in your heart#that & i saw this post that was like 'lollll this guys music taste is the WORST EVER!!!!!' and it was just like. pretty general coworker#music#just mean for the sake of being mean. not even up & arms bc i liked any of the artists really its just that. you are being rude asf#and blueskys like the opposite which you would think would be good but i cant really use the discover tab because if i scroll too long it#just starts showing me the most neoliberal slop EVERRRR#like. and this is my favorite example because of how dog it was#i saw a post that was like ACAB: Always Cary A Book! like ohhhhhhhh you cant be serious#and people sharing that graphic abt how the Least educated state voted red and the Most educated state voted blue#with the audacity to have 'democracy defender' in their bio like can you be fucking for real#and its the opposite of twitter because NO ONE ever disagrees with them there are too many posts where people just say shit like that and#no one says anything about it#'we avoid drama here' Okay dude some discourse is not always a bad thing#conservatives LOVE calling bluesky and echo chamber and as wrong as they r for their reasoning#........ theyre like. lowkey right. not that twitter or god forbid truth social arent the exact shit just the other way around. but like.#idk. there needs to be conversation in order to uphold a nuanced conversation#a lot of these self proclaimed 'democracy defenders' just dont see that which rrly brings into question their true level of activism#sorryyyyyyy okay rant over. but i did warn you. this was going to be a sims 4 post at first
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sometimes my knee jerk reactions to things i see on the internet force me to deeply consider that i am, in fact, the problem here
#not vaguing anybody for the record this just happens to get triggered most often on tumblr#like look i get everybody has different standards and yes of course you always have to give some leeway if you just want to. fucking. u kno#enjoy media in a semi-normal way...otherwise you will just constantly be miserable#but that is just so incredibly ironic to me. and basically exemplifies why i get so fucking mad all the time about this#and i have to sit back and think. am i being unfair?#my instinct is to say that i am#surely i am also blinded by my own self-interests. i must be. because aren't we all?#but then the more i mull it over the more i think no actually! i work very very hard to stay in touch with objective perspective#and sometimes yes i choose to ignore that objectivity for the sake of superficial enjoyment#but never to the point of completely ignoring a huge contextual factor like that#and as always i don't want to be a dickhead so i'm not gonna make like. a fucking callout post or anything#i mean there's not even anybody to call out because no one here has done anything wrong#but i just find it hard to pretend like everything is fine and normal when every time i get reminded of it i get mad all over again#which AGAIN is why i'm like. this is a me problem. this is a *me* problem. THIS IS A ME PROBLEM.#i have to be able to behave on the internet with people who disagree with me.#at least when it's so insignificant like this
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oh this is going to be......... a problem actually
#me when i start wips i KNOW are going to be so much longer than i want them to be#I KNOW IT I FUCKING SEE IT IN MY MIND#every time Every Single Time#to make things even better it's vega and warden AGAIN#which is objectively not a bad thing because i love them deeply and intensely#but in terms of my bitter and hateful need to be externally validated this is some of the worst news possible because#what it inevitably means is tens of hours of my life in exchange for maybe 30 or 40 notes lmao#half of which are my own self rbs#head in HANDS. why cant i just like writing about characters that are easily and broadly popular#i should have conditioned myself harder into liking milo or asher or sam something#OR DAVID AND ANGEL. GOD my life would be so much easier if i liked david and angel#(you know full well this is not an attack on people who do like those characters. don't pretend like it is so you have an excuse to be rude#i say it every fucking time I AM NOT OWED ANYTHING I GET IT I UNDERSTAND#doesn't mean it's not disheartening to make tens of thousands of words and see almost no acknowledgement of it at all#yes again for the millionth time: nobody is OBLIGATED to like my writing or like the characters i write about YOU DON'T HAVE TO#once again: you KNOW that is not the thing i am bitching about here#i am a hateful spiteful bitch for DIFFERENT reasons#those reasons being i have a deeply insecure and desperate need for validation that no amount of 'art for art's sake!' can cure#art for art's sake is all well and good. doesn't ever seem to make me feel better though#delete later
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why is my mother completely fine with me getting top surgery but gives me the silent treatment for a week every time she finds out i'm getting another piercing / tattoo
#especially odd when she used to be a goth and she and my dad had loads of piercings#like more than i've ever had at one time#i don't know i think it bothers me a lot when people are weird and annoying about tattoos because like#they're a permanent feature on your body and they're a form of self expression#it's really rude to act like they're gross and ugly when they're not on YOUR body#and also i said i'm getting a tattoo because i'm miserable and i want to feel something and like#knowing i'm getting one is a reason to try and make it through the week#and her immediate response is oh for fuck's sake why are you doing this they're so ugly#ok girl by e
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wheres that post like... being trans in uni is having to pretend you (still) care about harry potter..
#like girl....... why is the self proclaimed marxist feminist sharing an ALUMNI (shes in the alumni :) btw) ORGANIZED christmas hp screening#tbh... idk what i expected the woman is a swiftie i rest my case there..#but i cant say anything bc the last time i got in a heated jkr debate i got fucking kicked from the friend group (good riddance tbh...)#and im NOT going to have any heated debates abt it anymore.. for my own sake.........#piksla.txt
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”I squealed so loud and fell off my table when I read that at lunch that I drew the eye of every other camper in the amphitheatre. My excited yell of “She killed him!” is apparently NOT a good explanation in the eyes of Chiron, who pulled me aside for a talk. He also pulled Luke aside when he replied to my yell with, “Good for her!”” ~OC Self-Insert, For fuck's sake, why did I ever want to be a Half-Blood? by IzzyMRDB, RavenCarver
#fanfic quotes#quotes#ao3#ao3 fanfic#pjo fandom#for fucks sake why did I ever want to be a half-blood#percy jackson self insert#self insert
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i hate men.
#my sister is having a bad bad argument with her bf on the phone and wow... what a fucking idiot#one ex was physically abusive. another one was basically a nazi (that's why she left him among other things)#this one is a jealous dick who's saying she's '''easy''' because she didn't tell him outright how many boys she kissed in the past#(...... who. for FUCK'S sake. even cares about *that*?)#i'm so sorry for her because she's such a nice and pretty girl#with so many self-esteem issues and a great need for love and affection#she's strong too and dedicated to her work... and also has been through so much shit#she doesn't deserve all this. i'm not saying she's flawless because she's NOT. but she's my sister and i know her#she's a good one#anyway i'm 100% converted to misandry now. the only men i trust are my dad and my brother who compared to these assholes#is an angel on earth. fuck them tbh#val speaks#txt
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Ok I keep kicking this back and forth so I'm gonna leave it up to a poll just to gauge what you guys think.
I would want to approach this in as non-argumentative a way as possible, with the purpose of course being to clear up misconceptions about their canonicity, as well as to give people a better understanding of how media like this exists alongside their source material.
What I've written here would be the foundation of the post, so there would be some overlap, but it would definitely be more in-depth, using examples from film novelizations and video game novelizations that I personally own, drawing comparisons from film clips or screenplays and corresponding cutscenes.
#i most-likely won't make it until after i get all my leon posts cranked out finally#but i really just wanna put things into perspective for people that like#no the novelizations for the most part aren't canon#but that's really ok. you can just.. prefer that version of the story.#whether that be out of personal preference or for the sake of fanfic or self-insert or whatever#you don't need shit to be explicitly canon to have fun#like the DI manga isn't canon either but do i cling to the idea that leon sends hunnigan selfies while in the field??#fuck yeah i do that's so stupid and i love it to death#that's MY personal canon now babey#and it's ok that it's not OFFICIAL canon#that one panel gave us insight to leon's character and that's all it was MEANT to do#i'm also just so tired of fandom authorities pushing incorrect info/interpretations/canonicity and intentionally misleading people#bc they want to warp canon into smth it isnt#and it's like dude it's OKAY that these things aren't canon#why are u so afraid of the series not being tailored to your exact specifications
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