#for everything‚ really--I'm so proud of myself‚ today

[simmireen]

Head over heels

The taxi pulled over at my apartment complex. It was just a five minute drive so in the presence of the driver we were quiet. We were hand in hand, me playing lovingly with her fingers. I really wanted to know what she thought of the evening. For me these nights are part of the job, but for her, it's an entire experience, I know. All the people, the photographers, the glam, everything is bigger than she ever could imagine. And then this was a smaller premiere even. 

Even while walking to my apartment door, which I held open for her, she was quiet. She seemed overwhelmed, but in a good way. Taking in all the buzz that happened around her those hours before. And she did amazing, even though I held her close to me all evening, because I know this all is overwhelming to her. Without taking her coat off she walks over to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. I walk over to her, "My lovely lovely lady. Can I take your coat?". She chuckles and helps me take it off. I walk off to hang it onto a chair at the diner table and walk back. She takes a sip of her water and I wrap my arms around her. Her arousing scent filling my nose. Her naked shoulders are now showing and I am in need to kiss them, so I give in. She looked so beautiful all night and I had difficulties keeping myself sane, because she had this tendency to touch me a lot. 

"And.. What did you think about tonight?", I ask between the kisses. I kiss her close to her neck and I feel her body answering me with a little shiver. She smiles, "A lot of people, but definitely amazing". It stays quiet for a minute, while I'm still gently kissing the silky skin on her shoulders. She takes it in, how I took in her strokes all night- Oh I did take them in, but I had to stay professional, so I couldn't do much more than just holding her close and tight to me and enjoy her touching in silence. Which was hard, but I am so proud that I could finally show my little world this woman is with me. 

"This is your life, already for ... how long?" She asks while I move my hand subtly up from her waist. I really have to restrain myself from making some moves since her body replies to my hands embracing her sides with another soft shiver. While I subtly stroke the side of her breast, I give her another soft kiss on her shoulder and answer her question, ‘Mmm, twenty-five years’. 

It really has been almost twenty-five years. At the end of the year I would be a producer for all those years, of course before becoming a producer, I did several things in the industry. I almost can’t imagine doing something else, but at the same time I know I will be doing something different in the near future, since I still have that job offer in San Myshuno. I basically said I would do it, if I could find an apartment first. I know it’s going to be a big change, but I also know it’s so worth it. As if Minnie could hear my thoughts, she tells me she agrees with Geoffrey. She met my direct boss, Geoffrey Landgraab today. I have worked with him for about twenty years. I think through the years we became, well I don’t think I can call it friends, but good acquaintances in and outside our workfield. Tonight Geoffrey came to introduce himself to Minnie with the statement she would steal me away from him. Of course he said that as a joke, but I also know how Minnie blames herself for me making this decision of moving away from Del Sol Valley for, well, her. “You really shouldn’t give that up Jim”, she says softly. I move in a little closer while I still am taking in her soft skin. She means the fact I have this lifestyle we both encountered tonight. The luxury, the glam, the fame around me. I’m used to that life. I sometimes even choose not to go to the smaller premieres, because they bore me, but sometimes you have to go, to show yourself to the directors and actors you work together with. 

She leans on the counter with one hand while her other hand is touching my hand resting on her waist. I’m still on and off kissing her sensually on her neck and shoulders, her lovely flowery sweet scent that always turns me on reaches deep, while her body still heavily responds to my touches too. I love worshipping her, caressing every inch of her soft skin. I gently move my hands up to cup her breasts -God, that’s such a manly thing to do- but I can’t help it, but clearly she doesn’t mind, because she starts leaning forward with two hands on the counter so her ass stroke my intimate area which makes my pants become a little tight. “After all that time, these parties become very monotonous. Definitely if you are always the one who comes alone.”, I answer absentmindedly. It is true, being alone at an event like tonight is kinda lonely. So the fact I could finally bring her, but also the fact she stayed close to me all night instead of taking a distance, which she normally does when we are in public, means so much to me. She becomes more confident next to me, and I want her to know. I find her ear and whisper, “So, sharing this with a gorgeous lady that stands next to me, that I want to show off to everyone, looks way too sexy and arouses me with every touch she made tonight, makes my choice so much easier”. I want her, I only want her. This job has become meaningless for me since she is in my life, which is a miracle, not even a year ago this job meant everything to me. She does things to me, I’m head over heels, but physically she lets me burn inside. She drives me crazy, gives me the worst primal needs, like grabbing both of her boobs just now, that’s so not like the man I want to be. I blame the ‘staying professional’ rule I gave myself tonight. Right now, I don’t have to restrain myself any longer, I slowly move my hand down. She leans forward a little more on the counter and gasps when I reach her inner thigh. Her breathing quickens while I am still playfully moving my fingers around that thigh area. 

Fairly sudden she turns around and pants while she says my name. The first thought that comes up is that I went too fast, did something she wasn’t ready for, “Sorry, I let myself go for a minute-” but she interrupts me with a hard no. “Don’t apologize”. Her breathing stabilizes a little again and she says my name again, “Jim, you are everything a woman wants. You are a real gentleman, you put me on a pedestal. You are so very passionate about the things you love.” Oh, she is right, I’m very passionate about her, I want to answer, but she doesn’t let me, she looks away. “And you are so.. so very attractive”, she sighs, leaving out a heavy breath after saying that compliment. I’m flattered, I’m silenced. I know she isn’t that outspoken about what she feels for me. A few butterflies wake up in my stomach and flutter around. “And above all, you have the lifestyle everyone dreams about. You really shouldn’t give that up. Not for me”, she continues. And there it is, her insecure inner thoughts about the thought that she doesn’t deserve me, that she doesn’t deserve my love, love in general. Is that what I like about her so much? The fact I want to make her happy, the fact I can be the one who makes her happy? She is the very reason I want to give it all up. I want to make her happy. That lifestyle? - I don’t give a fuck about it anymore. Yeah it’s nice to be able to buy a nice car and a good suit, but I’d rather buy ten pairs of heels for her, “but what if I’m tired of that lifestyle, and am willing to give that all up for something I am way more passionate about?” I answer. Now she is silenced. I still hold her tight, because when she turned around facing me, I didn’t give her much space. When I’m explaining her the rest of why this glamorous world is as fake as it is, I see her thoughts racing. Her mind is finding reasons again why she doesn’t deserve me. I see her slipping away, so I find her back with my hand and pull her closer to me. She looks at me with her big brown eyes, only now scared, silenced. Her hand caresses my face and there it is, “What if, eventually, the light you see in me… dims?”, she whispers softly and looks away. I understand that question, it comes from deep within and answers why she is this broken beautiful fragile woman. She is afraid I will leave her, what her ex-husband did, and he did it without any warning. This hits me deep also, because in some way I was a man like that. Only I never left anyone, but it was my fault my marriage collapsed. Because yes, the brighter light I followed was my work and now I am leaving my work for this mesmerizing woman. Am I that simple? Clearly I am. Besides, I also learned a lot about myself these last years and ending up alone is something I secretly am a little scared of. 

“I don’t think it will”, I answer her in all honesty. It’s not the straight up answer she is looking for, but I stay calm, because she isn’t. “You don’t know”, she replies as if she can hear my thoughts. “Nope, that’s very true. We never know.” She stares at me again with her big beautiful eyes. “We can’t look into that future Minnie. But for now I am very, very sure I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If these three months define my life with you, I’m looking forward to the rest”, I reassure her. A deep breath leaves her mouth, into mine. Nothing is a lie about that. These three months are the happiest my life has ever been and she is the reason. “Let’s look at it day by day”. With every word I say, I see her giving in to my reassurance, so I decide to continue a little more. “Today I fell in love with you even more. I want you, more than ever. This evening you showed me how much you fit into this lifestyle. The confidence you had tonight. How beautiful you look with your outfit and new heels, how kind you are to my colleagues. How sweet, arousing and sexy you are.” I push her gently against the counter and she moves her arm around my neck. She always melts into me if I tell her how much I want her. And I want her, desperately. I know she wants it too, because the tension between us reached a new high. I move my hand to her leg and in an automatic response she lifts it up. I chuckle, “but I’m very selfish by telling you what I want, but way more important is what you want. What do you want my beautiful lady?”. She swallows, looks away and it stays quiet for a few seconds. My eyes still locked on her, she looks back to me and whispers, so almost no one could hear it, “You.”

She sighs. 

“I want you. I need you.” 

I lean my body closer to her, if that’s even possible, my hands find both of her legs and pull them both up so she gets lifted up the kitchen counter. And I give her the kiss I've wanted to give her since we came home. One where you forget everything around you. Sucked into each other’s presence. Giving into the tension that’s built up all day long. From the moment she walked the red carpet next to me, from the moment we sat together in the dark theatre trying not to touch each other constantly to the moment after the movie when Geoffrey told me the fact she is the lucky one for me. Her way of fiddling with my shirt and suit she did after I confessed that she is indeed the lucky one, made it very clear she didn’t really know what to do with that tension. It all came out now. I couldn’t hold myself any longer. I barely could hold in the impure thought of how much I wanted to pull that jumpsuit off of her and take her right onto my counter, but no. She deserves the pleasure all night long. She is that lucky one, that drives me insane and I never have felt this way about any woman in my life. I love her, I want her and I definitely need her in my life. I stop the kiss to breathe and look into eyes that are full of desire for more. God, I need her. I really really need her. “And you have no idea how much I need you…”

We fall into the passionate kiss again. I gently pull her off the counter and guide her out of my kitchen, along the diner table, to the bedroom door. When we are inside, I close the door and push her gently to the door so she is locked between me and the door. I lift her up against the door, which startles me, but clearly my instincts take over my sanity. Her soft lips on mine, her tongue playing with mine. 

I can hold her for a little while, and she helps with locking her legs around my waist, but while kissing, it’s a tough job to do. I haven’t been working out in a while, and that’s what I feel right now. In the little breathing break I decide to kiss her neck again. I have her lifted and pushed against my bedroom door, where she is currently taller than me, so it’s a free play for me. A soft moan of pleasure fills the room. 

I decide to make it easier for myself and walk two steps backwards until I hit the edge of my bed and make myself sit with her still on top of me, kissing me passionately. Her on top of me, yes please, this is so very sexy. This Minnie I haven’t seen yet, I know she always holds back in some way and doesn’t show me exactly what she wants. Maybe also my fault because I feel like I’m responsible for pleasing her and taking the lead, but I would die if Minnie would take control sometimes. I open my eyes to take a look at her. Our eyes meet and she stops kissing. Flutters in my stomach. My heart skipping a beat or two. A silence full of feelings. Her hands find the buttons of my shirt and undresses my jacket and shirt. I decide not to do anything, yet, but it’s hard to contain myself. Her warm hands stroke my chest and I softly lean backwards until I feel my pillows and pull her with me. I have her on top of me now, with her head on my chest, but before I could make my next move, she surprises me with kisses on my collarbone. She traces my neck with more kisses, my chest, lowering to my belly until she meets the edge of my pants. I let out a groan because I can’t contain myself much longer. Bewildered, I push myself up and look at her and meet with a set of surprised eyes. Now it’s my turn, I move her to the edge of my bed to find the zipper on the side of her jumpsuit. I undress her- sadly I had to take off her heels. It reveals a lace panties again. Help me. She dressed up entirely, but my impure thoughts tell me to get it all off.. There she is, standing in front of me in all her naked beauty. I undo myself from my shoes and my pants. Including my boxershort. My erection showing proud.

I pull her beautiful naked body onto me again, so I have her on top of me. Skin to skin. She pushes me onto the pillow again and starts giving me a deep kiss again. The weight of her on me is pleasant. With my hands on her hips I control how much she moves, but she still has me in total control. “You really should stop surprising me”. I know Minnie looks very shy and insecure and innocent to the outside world, I know different by now. As long as you give her a warm and trusted safe place where she can be herself, she shows how lustful she is. “What did I do?”, she asks with a little smirk. Oh, she definitely knows what she is doing. “And then she asks me what she does”, I answer playfully. She chuckles. 

I find her hands and lock her fingers into mine so I can push her up so she sits on top of me, but I continue to push her onto her back so I am on my knees above her. She should be pleased first. I don’t think with her on top of me, I could have lasted very long. My finger is lovingly stroking the curves of her naked body while she looks at me full of desire. “Can I kiss you?”, I ask. I wish I could make love all night with this woman. Please her multiple times. Kiss her whole body. She nods, she knows I mean something different than kissing her on her lips. I make my way down and pause for kisses on her breasts, her belly and her hips tighten while I move down to the place where I wanna be. I start slow but speed up the pace little by little. Her heavy breathing tells me she likes what I do. It doesn’t take long until she starts moaning softly and I feel her body tightening up. I feel her grabbing the sheets with both of her hands and she lets out a moan I never heard her making before. Can she get even sexier?

I slowly stop what I’m doing while I feel her body go back into relaxed mode. She is breathing heavily still and caresses my head with both of her hands. I move up again hovering over her and stare into the most beautiful face I have seen tonight. “I love you”, she stammers. 

“I love you too”, I answer with a huge smile. 

She lowers her hands to grab my hips and slowly pulls me back onto her. She is very much not innocent at all tonight, a groan escapes while she folds her legs around me. I know I can handle waiting patiently, but I can’t help craving her even more after the climax I just gave her. I want her. Badly. 

She gently pulls my head to her face and gives me an intense kiss. I softly grind my hips against her and she whimpers. I stop and look into two craving eyes. “Can I..?”, I whisper. I always make sure I ask for consent, she knows. She nods slowly, whispers a yes and kisses me again. I tilt my hips and push myself slowly in her. 

This feeling, melted together deeply, making love, is the most intense and happy feeling I have ever had. I don’t think I have had this before in my entire life. 

Is that what the love of your life is supposed to be? 

Then I found her. 

Want to know more about these two (mostly in images - see my (way too long story on instagram or discord channel)

[throughpatchesofviolet]

I got a perfect score on my employee review ~! I'm really happy about it, actually ... I feel like I haven't been doing that well, lately, and yet I'm consistently helping people and contributing to my community through my work. It feels ... nice.

[discoreptile]

Additional game card art!

[yoshistory]

I cleaned my house sooooo much Sunday.... sooo much ...

[yououghtaknow]

ben platt was so right when he said (to paraphrase) your heart can break so much that it breaks open and lets love in. that's 2023 to me baby.

[knifegremliin]

btw i know this is the hating cars website HOWEVER! I!! OFFICIALLY HAVE MY OWN CAR!!!!

[outlying-hyppocrate]

well fuck okay my brother is now also sick. my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined

[hide-your-bugs-away]

My mom saying that the Animals could've done a better cover of "Money (That's What I Want)" than the Beatles was so brave of her that I gasped. I also agree. 😔🙏

[lynnie-s3all]

Yo wsg mootie!! I hope your doing well! Since you still have requests on I hope you wouldn’t mind if I sent another one in ^^ onto my request…!

May I request (romantic) Mafioso, 1x1x1x1, and John Doe with a Reader who’s an artist and is always seen drawing in their notebook whenever they can? and perhaps they even draw the characters I’ve mentioned and shows them?

Thank you! Have a good day or night!!! :-)

Edit: Yes this is Zyran in the morning because i did not do uhhhh stuff today. I'm getting breakfast for myself

You inspire me more than i do... my love.

Forsaken killers x Artist reader.

While he would be busy hanging out with his other folks, you grabbed your notebook and decided to draw him in small doodles.

Not just those, you also drew his bunny <3

Whenever you're finished, you would come up to him and show it to him.

He was impressed by the details you drew on him, especially his coat, hat, almost every prominent feature he has on him. He loved the way you also drew his bunny too.

"that's actually lovely, princess. Keep drawing more. I would be so much proud looking at them each day."

Whenever you had a crashout, and maybe really feel upset to the point that you don't feel like drawing, he'll step in to help and comfort you.

"It's not horrendous, lovely... What makes you think it's bad? You know how i appreciate most of your little doodles on your notebook. Don't give up drawing. Maybe take a break if you need to."

You adore him so much.

I don't really say he's the opposite for everything, but you know how he is when he's around people. Really annoyed.

Well, here's a catch. You doodled him while he was watching TV with you at home, he didn't really payed too much attention for you a lot.

As you draw the small details, he just looked at you, while you're silently drawing.

"Well, what are you doing in that book anyway? Reading...?

"No, I'm not reading, silly. I just wanted to show you something."

Well now he was curious.

Once you finished doodling, you gave him your notebook. He was pretty much astonished when you did draw him with his crown. even with that hair... Just how gorgeous it is.

"The details in this art, you did made me look pretty handsome."

"Not really good though..."

"Who says it doesn't, I'm going to check your other pages in here"

"NO 1X DONT-"

Well you two ended up arguing if he should check it or not, but he just refused to give it back and wants to see your other drawings too. Now you're left filled with embarrassment.

John doe on the other hand...

He really adores your drawing so much.

He usually leaves your drawings on the wall with blood on the paper, I'm not sure why he decided to do that.

Uhm. there's a certain thing he wanted to do actually.

Since he likes to kill people, he told you to draw him with one of the victims... blood.

"What did you do this time John..."

"Please draw me with this person's blood."

You were concerned for him. But you fulfill his request anyway. Also because you don't want to question a lot on why.

"Alright sure..."

Once you finished drawing the art... Since human blood dries up a bit fast due to it evaporating, you had to take it for a bit faster pace, but you managed to make it look pretty.

You showed your drawing to him, you drew him with red roses too.

He was very happy.

TO THE POINT THAT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY RIGHT AFTER YOU USED SOMEONE'S BLOOD TO DRAW.

[freakyformula]

First time with the Wolf

Summary: Reader and Toto has been dating for a year and they finally have sex for the first time.

Writers comment: This is for all the sluts with daddy issues (myself included).

Warnings: 18+, MDNI, smut obviously, fluff, daddy kink??, innocence kink, google translated german.

Word count: 3,3k

Toto Wolff.

Billionaire.

CEO of the Mercedes F1 Team.

….Who also happens to be your boyfriend.

You had been seeing each other for about a year now, you caught his eye at an afterparty, and you instantly hit it off.

As you were stuck studying, you couldn't be with him at his place of work that often, but every time you got the chance, you did. Everyone at the Mercedes garage adored you, although you heard some whispering about you and Toto's age gap and your intentions with him at first.

Your life felt complete. It felt like you had everything a person could ask for. Toto was treating you like a princess, sending you gifts and even giving you his black card, encouraging you to use it. Every time you met up with him, he'd be soft with you. Not forcing you to do anything you didn't want to. Holding you close whenever you needed it. Sending you sweet texts during the day.

"Y/N, do you know the answer to this question?" The professor asks.

Shit, daydreaming again.

"Uuuuh, yes, erm…" You tried to save the awkward situation but it was in vain.

Later, you were sat on the sofa in your extravagant apartment that Toto had insisted you needed. For what, was beyond you.

"Toto, I made a complete fool of myself today and it's your fault!" You tell him over the phone.

You had a routine of calling every day to check in with each other.

"What do you mean it's my fault? I'm innocent." He argues back and sticks his tongue out playfully.

"I was thinking about you and ended up daydreaming, and then my professor asked me a question!" You explain.

"Thinking of me?" He says as he drags the last part out and points at himself. "Liebe, do you miss me as much as I miss you? I'm having a hard time staying away from you. I think about you beside me every night, about how good you feel beside me. You belong beside me." He explains.

You gasp at his words. Toto was rarely this straightforward. You couldn't help feeling a tingle in your stomach, feeling aftershocks in the rest of your body.

"Beside you…? Sir Toto, what are you implying?" You ask.

You had intentionally waited to have sex, with Toto wanting your first time to be special. You weren't a virgin or anything, but you hadn't had the courage to take on a man of Toto's size yet and he knew about it, hence why he wanted to wait. He was proud of his size and carried himself well.

"I'd like to know if you want to visit Jeddah and spend the race weekend with me and the crew? Lewis has asked when he will be seeing you again, he seems to have a weak spot for you." Toto asks.

His question didn't really come as a shock, he'd often ask multiple times if you wanted to join him on his travels.

"Toto, I, I'm afraid…" You say as you know taking a few days off wouldn't hurt. You felt overworked and could need some time off the hectic pace at school. You could ask your friends to share notes later and work on your assignments on the plane. Besides, you were in the middle of the semester, meaning no upcoming exams.

He gives you a small pout when he hears the impending rejection but lights up as you continue.

"… You'll regret ever inviting me to Jeddah, I will be pestering you and the team all weekend."

He looks up at the screen of his phone and looks confused. Then, as the words sink in, his lips turn into a wide smile. "Are you serious, Schatz?" He asks alarmingly calmly.

"One hundred percent, Toto." You confirm.

"Jesus Christ, I love you so much!" He celebrates. "I'll book the plane tickets right away, can you make it to the airport by tomorrow evening?"

"I'd love that, do I need to bring anything?"

"Only that beautiful smile of yours!" He exclaims.

And with that, you finished the call and said your goodbyes to a very excited Toto.

The next day you spent packing and arranging for your friends at school to take notes for you, thanking them for the trouble.

You made it to the airport with time to spare. You spent the spare time on your laptop, working on that one assignment that made you question your choice of studies. Finally, your boarding was called.

The flight went smoothly, and when you arrived to Jeddah, a man was waiting for you as Toto had instructed, driving you back to the hotel you and Toto were staying at.

The doormen helped you with the bags and you were escorted up to your room.

When you opened the door to the grand suite, you saw Toto standing in the middle of the room, with a bouquet of roses in his arms. He gave you a wide smile when you came into view.

You instantly ran up to him and he lifted you into his big and strong arms, peppering your face with kisses, making you giggle.

The suite was equipped with 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and a huge main living room.

Toto showed you around, holding you close.

"So… I'm assuming you'll be spending your time sleeping next to me, in my bed, right?" Toto asked carefully.

You chuckle and turn around, facing him. "It's not like I haven't done that before."

Both you and Toto were tired and soon got ready for bed. As you get in under the covers, you make yourself comfortable and wait for Toto to join you, which he does, with a certain urgency.

He hovers halfway over you, and places a soft kiss on your forehead. You lean into the kiss and look up at him, he looks like a true god like this.

"God, there's so much I want to do with you… To experience with you, Y/N."

"Show me, then." You urge him.

"Someday, I will."

And with that, both of you fall asleep.

You wake up before Toto and pry yourself free from his tight grip, making him frown and search for your lost body in his sleep.

You take a quick shower and get yourself ready for the day, rocking a floral sundress you knew Toto would love.

As you step out of the bathroom, Toto is sitting on the edge of the bed, buttoning up his white shirt. When he sees you, he gets up and walks up to you.

"Let me help you with that." You say and start working the buttons.

Toto smiles at you and grabs your hips. "Good morning, Y/N. You look so beautiful, I'm so happy you came here."

You finish up breakfast and get to the track, meeting up with Lewis again. Today, the garage was buzzing with people of all sorts. Mechanics, celebrities and fans were squashed together. And then there was you and Toto, and while he held you close, protecting you from accidental blows and rude comments, you still felt uncomfortable.

Luckily, Toto had arranged for you to stay close to him and follow the race from a peaceful spot.

You celebrated with the whole garage as George finished 3rd and Lewis finished 5th, both scoring valuable points.

Toto runs up to you, and easily lifts you up into his arms. Then, out of nowhere, he catches your lips in a deep kiss. This was the first time he showed affection in public and it took you by surprise. Feeling lost and flushed, he sets you down again.

"Congrats Toto, I know this means a lot to you." You say.

Mercedes had two rough past seasons behind them, so even if it was just a 3rd and 5th place, the whole garage celebrated as if it was a victory.

"Would you like to go out for dinner later?" He asks, "I'll have you driven back to the hotel, and I will be back after the briefings."

As you get back to the suite, you take a quick shower to freshen up. The cool water is a welcome feeling on your overheating body. You fix yourself up, apply some light makeup, and do your hair. You choose a flowy black dress, which accentuates your figure perfectly.

"Y/N?" Toto calls out.

"In here!" You yell.

He finds you and stops in his tracks, taking the sight of you in.

"Y/N… You're exquisite." He says as he gives you a quick kiss. He takes your hand and leads you out to the balcony of the suite. You stand at the railing and enjoy the view as Toto places himself behind you, presses himself against you and traps you in place with both his hands on each side of you.

"For you, my love." He says as he hands you a box.

"Toto." You warn him, not wanting him to spoil you too often.

"Just open it, Y/N. You deserve it." He urges.

And when you inevitably open the box, you're met with the most beautiful diamond earrings you've ever seen.

You take a moment to just take in what you're holding.

"You, Y/N, are going to wear these tonight." He explains, helping you put them on, them fitting you perfectly. You look and feel expensive.

You wait for Toto to finish his shower while you admire the gemstones hanging from your ears.

Because you're in Jeddah, you decide on Middle Eastern food for the night.

Toto knows the city very well and takes you to one of the best-rated restaurants.

You spend the evening in a booth of said restaurant, babbling away.

As soon as you step into the hotel room, Toto's hands and lips are on you. He keeps a slow pace, making sure to not hurry.

You follow his lead, kissing him back and caressing his arms, slowly moving to his chest.

You part the kiss and look at his deep brown eyes, panting. "I want you, Toto."

Your words switch something in Toto's brain. You'd never been that straightforward with him before, asking for him.

He picks you up, with you kissing and biting his neck as he walks you to the bedroom, making him groan in pain and pleasure.

Toto is a gentleman and lets you down from his arms with much care.

"Can I take this off?" Toto asks as he creeps over the zipper to your dress with his fingers.

Your mind is already failing you, and you nod, thinking it would suffice. Much to Toto's dismay, that is, as he tuts at you. "Words, Schatz."

You're struggling to form a complete sentence, so you settle for a simple "Please."

"Good girl. Doing so well for me already."

This wasn't new for your relationship, you'd done things to each other before but you hadn't gone all the way.

Toto helps you out of the dress and falls to his knees at the sight. Like a starved man, he creeps closer and places kisses on your bare chest, creeping lower and lower down. When he reaches your panties, he looks up with a questioning look, and you nod enthusiastically.

With the confirmation, he leans down to your heat again, grabs the panties with his teeth, and proceeds to pull them down. Looking at him doing this to you of all people, and him enjoying it, was ecstasy. When your pussy comes into view, he lets the panties fall to the floor, giving your mound a feather-light kiss.

You can feel his breath on your lower stomach, and you grab his hair and pull him closer to you. Toto takes it as an invitation to keep going with what he's doing. This time though, he comes closer to your aching core, parting your folds and placing a kiss between them. You're shaking at this point and Toto takes notice. Standing was starting to become hard.

"Y/N, sit down on the edge of the bed."

You do as you're told and sit on the edge of the bed with your hands in your lap.

You follow Toto's movements as he takes his shirt and pants off, leaving only his underwear on.

When he creeps closer to you, your hands reach out for him.

You frown when he stops just of your reach.

"What do you want, Y/N? Come get it." He says.

You sigh, and get up on your knees. You bend forward and pull on his hands, guiding him to you. This must have been thought out ahead of time because your face ends up where Toto's bulging length is. Your mouth waters at the sight and you look up at him, asking for permission.

"Go ahead, Y/N."

You place your hands on his chest and slide them lower down, passing by his nipples, abs, and crotch.

As your hand touches his cock through the fabric, it twitches, and Toto lets out a small grunt.

You tease and pass by the lining of his underwear, grabbing it and pulling down on them slowly, just to let go. You start palming his cock and Toto barely keeps control over himself. You can see that vein in his temple, and it's about to pop.

As you slowly pull his underwear again, intending to tease him further, you drag them a little too low and his manhood slides out.

You look at it with big eyes, wondering how it will ever fit in you.

You softly grab it and steer it towards your mouth. You lick the head of his cock slowly and look up at him. He looks at you with such admiration in his eyes that you can feel yourself creaming between your legs.

Toto grabs your hair and pulls it into a makeshift ponytail.

"Open up." He demands.

You open up for his length and you're able to take a fourth of him until you start to gag. Toto doesn't press you further but keeps the pace for you. You grab the rest of him with your hands and start pumping him at the same time.

Toto must have been so close because he pulls you off and gently takes your hands into his. Bending down, he kisses you deeply, helping you lie down on the bed. He follows and lies down beside you, with half of his body on top.

"Can I mount you?" He asks.

Now this, this was new. He'd never been on top of you before.

"Y-yes." You whisper, barely audible.

"Don't be scared, Y/N. You're doing so well, do you want me?"

You scoff at his question, "Of course, Toto. It's just, I'm scared it'll hurt."

"I know you're scared, that's why I'm asking if you're sure you want to do this with me. There's nothing I want more right now, but if you're not comfortable, I'm ready to wait. With that said, I can't promise it won't hurt, but I will be as careful as I possibly can."

You process his words carefully.

"O-okay." You stutter, "I'm ready."

Toto smiles at you and hovers over you. He leans in and licks your lips and you grant him access to your mouth. He kisses you deeply and wrestles with your tongue for dominance.

His hands slide down your sides and stop at your hips, lifting them up giving him easier access to your warm and pulsating heat. His mouth leaves marks everywhere it comes into contact with, making you moan.

Now it's his turn to tease you. He goes down, sucking on your tits and nipples, leaving kisses on your stomach, leaving lovebites on your thighs and kissing the insides of your thighs, moving from one leg to another without touching you where you needed him most.

"Please, Toto, need you!" You beg.

"Patience, love." He tells you off.

He keeps admiring and praising your body for what feels like forever. Finally, you feel a kiss on your mound, followed by a lick along your drenched slit.

The feeling makes you buck your hips, making him grab your hips with his arms and holds you down.

He starts eating you out at such an unforgiving pace that you cum almost instantly. He lets you calm down before he adds a finger, sliding into you easily. He starts pumping his digit slowly, pressing it up against your G-spot.

"Oh god, Toto!" You exclaim.

He adds another finger and he watches as your eyes roll back.

Another finger, the stretch feels uncomfortable at first but you get used to it quickly. Especially since he keeps his mouth on your clit. Deeming you ready for him, he hovers over you.

"Ready to do this with me, liebe?"

You start nodding but remember his demand.

"Yes, please Toto, take it slow?" You ask.

"I'll be as careful as I can, Y/N. I promise."

And with that said, he lines himself up with you and starts pressing on your entrance. You feel yourself opening up slightly and tense up, pushing his tip out again.

"Relax for me, Y/N. Deep breaths."

He instructs you on your breathing while he presses his tip in. You yelp at the feeling but quickly calm down as Toto starts caressing your cheek and encouraging you.

"You're taking my cock so well schatzi."

"Breath for me."

"Look at you, so beautiful beneath me."

"Those earrings look so good on you, I knew it was a good investment."

He'd shower you with compliments and affection which made the pain a little more manageable.

You gasp in pain as you feel your entrance giving way to his huge member.

"I'm sorry for hurting you, liebling."

As he pushes himself in a little bit further, you writhe in pain.

But then, when he starts pulling back and slowly pushing in, further each time, it feels good.

You moan in unison when he bottoms out within you. The pain subsides and all you feel now is pure pleasure.

Toto pumps into you at a relentless pace, making you see stars and yelling out your second orgasm.

"Ride me?" He asks and you follow his lead as he bends backwards, ending up on his back. Without parting, you start riding him, slowly at first, but increasing the pace as you get more comfortable.

Toto is massaging and kissing your tits as you look each other deep in the eyes. This position is giving him easy access to your clit, tits, and your ass.

"I'm cumming, Y/N…" He says as he grabs your hips and starts pistoning his hips into you.

You watch his contorted face as he cums deep inside you, painting your walls white with his seed.

He kisses your face languidly as both of you catch your breath, and you process what just happened.

"I'm so sorry I had you wait for almost a year before we did this." You admit.

"I guess we have a lot of catching up to do then." Toto smirks at you.

"Now, wait here." He instructs as he hurries off to the bathroom.

When you hear rippling you decide to disobey his orders and follow him to the bathroom.

As you turn the corner, you see Toto running a bath.

"Thought you might want to clean yourself up. Here, I'll help you." He says as he helps you into the warm water. He stays with you, assisting with the loofah and leaving kisses on your body.

After a while Toto sinks down behind you, enjoying the warm water as much as you. You spend your evening there, just soaking and talking. When you get up, Toto helps drying you off and wraps you up in a bathrobe.

"Thank you for tonight, Toto."

"Thank you, Y/N. We need to do this again, soon."

This was the definition of love. No way you could go back to your ordinary life after this.

[mapis-putellas]

Bad day

Pairing: Alexia Putellas x Reader

Words: 1698

Warnings: Swearing, crying

Summary: You’ve had a bad day and go to Alexia for comfort. Based on this request- here

Notes: Do you guys have chapters that write really well? Like, I barely had to change anything in the proof read and I’m kinda proud of myself. Enjoy <3

[prompt list]

Today hadn't been a very good day. In fact, it had been absolutely terrible.

Firstly, you'd slept through the alarm you'd sworn you'd set, unintentionally snapping at Alexia for not waking you when getting up herself. Then you'd dropped your coffee -your very hot coffee to be precise- simultaneously ruining your blouse, burning your skin and souring your mood further because you didn't have time to get another one or go back home to change.

So not only were you un-caffeinated and smelling of stale coffee for the entire day, the AC in your office had finally decided to call all it quits. You'd spent the whole day sweating, and if all that was bad enough, you didn't have time for a lunch break, meaning you'd gone the whole day without eating because of course you'd slept through breakfast too.

So yeah. Today had not been a very good day. Right now, at this specific moment, all you wanted was a shower and for Alexia to hold you. Maybe some pizza too. But mainly Alexia.

But apparently the universe was determined to make your day even shittier because when you got home, you see Alexia busy on her laptop on a Skype call to someone. Your mood dwindles further as you glare at the back of her unsuspecting head. Of course. Of course she was busy. Alexia was always busy.

You pause in the midst of angrily kicking off your shoes. No. It wasn't her fault. None of this was. You were just frustrated. And angry. And sweaty. And hangry. And apparently Alexia deprived too.

"Stupid alarm. Stupid coffee. Stupid AC. Stupid everything." You grumble to yourself as you make your way down the hall to the bathroom, hastily stripping off and stepping beneath the scolding hot water.

You stay in the shower for probably longer than you should have, only stepping out when your fingers are wrinkly and you start to feel faint. The shirt Alexia had worn to bed last night was still strewn across her side of the bed, and without hesitation, you find yourself slipping it on along with a pair of underwear.

Your bare feet pad across the wooden floor as you make your way back through to the kitchen. Even if Alexia wasn't done, you needed to eat. You were way past hangry and slipping dangerously into murderous, and that was not how you wanted to end your already shit day.

Surprisingly, Alexia wasn't on Skype anymore. But she still looks busy prompting you to keep quiet as to slip past her and over to the refrigerator. You were part way through pouring yourself a bowl of cereal when her voice fills the room.

"Mi amor, I did not hear you come home."

You can't help but startle at the sound, turning around with the cereal box clutched to your chest. "Uhh, yeah. Hi. I saw you were busy and didn't want to bother you."

Alexia raises an eyebrow as she pulls her headphones out of her ears, leaning back in her chair and running a hand through her hair. It was unfair how attractive she looked doing that.

"I am never to busy for you bebé. How was your day?" She asks genuinely.

You simply purse your lips, the cereal box becoming crushed against your chest.

Alexia frowns. "That bad?"

You nod tersely.

"You want to talk about it? I can listen." She offers, but you shake your head.

"If you don't let me eat right now, I'm gonna bite your head off." You admit seriously, and Alexia huffs a laugh of amusement as she nods her head.

"Dinner is in the oven, amor." Alexia gestures to the appliance just next to you. "I did not want it to go cold."

Your hands drop to your sides. “You made dinner?" You feel your eyes start to burn with the familiar sensation of tears.

"Sí. I had some free time," she looks up you, "amor, are you crying?"

"I can't help it," you choke out before letting out a sob, and Alexia's heart breaks as she stands up and makes her way over to you, cupping the back of your head and pulling you into her arms. You fall limp against her, arms looping around her waist and squeezing tight as you bury your face into her chest. "I-I had such...such a bad day, and you...m-made dinner."

"I did, baby," Alexia so very rarely uses English terms of endearment with you, only doing so when you were so upset she fears you wouldn't understand her Spanish. "You are shaking, love. What happened?"

"I had a bad..bad day." Alexia almost finds herself tearing up at just how dejected and sad you sound.

"You did?" She muses softly, the hand on the back of your head combing gently through your hair. You nod against her chest, breath stuttering as you try and get yourself together.

"It is okay, baby. You can cry." She assures, and you let out another choked sob she tightens her arms around you. After a while, without prompting, you start to speak.

"I slept..slept through my alarm. Then I...I spilled my coffee and didn't have t-time to change or get another one. Then the st-stupid AC broke, and I missed lunch. And...and..." you trail off into another sob as you clutch desperately to the sides of her shirt, and Alexia frowns as she bends and loops her arms beneath your behind, standing up straight with you in her arms before easing you down onto the counter.

She steps in between your parted legs, feeling the way they hook tightly around her waist as your crossed feet rest against her ass.  Your stomach and chest were flush against her own as she holds you, one arm across your back whilst her hand cups the back of your head, fingertips grazing lightly over your scalp.

Your arms were around her shoulders, hands clinging to the back of her shirt as you sob softly into her shoulder. Alexia simply stands there and holds you, knowing you often got overwhelmed when someone tried to talk and make sense of things when all you needed was a good cry.

Eventually, your sobs fade into sniffles, and Alexia holds you for just a few moments longer before tentatively easing your upper body away from her, hand's delicately cupping your cheeks.

"It's sounds like you did have a pretty bad day, mi amor." She murmurs, leaning in to press a tender kiss to your forehead.

You nod, sniffling softly as your eyes fill with a fresh set of tears.

"No no, do not cry, bebé," Alexia soothes, using her thumbs to wipe away your tears, "it is okay now. You are home, with me." She pulls you back to her chest, feeling the way her heart breaks when you cling to her desperately like you were scared she was going to push you away. "I will fix you a plate of food, yes? Would you like some juice too?"

You nod with a quiet sniffle, feeling Alexia's hands slide beneath your bare thighs before easily hoisting you off of the counter and carrying you over to the dining table. She lingers with you in her arms for a few moments longer before easing you down onto the chair next to hers, kissing your forehead before moving to prepare you some food, and you stare longingly at the back of her body as she flips between the refrigerator and oven getting everything she needed.

Soon, she was back, and you can't help but smile as she sets a plate of pasta down in front of you along with a fork and some some juice.

"Gracias." You whisper hoarsely, feeling Alexia hum as she kisses your again forehead again before retreating back to her own seat.

After not eating all day, it was safe to say you were famished and end up eating your meal in about ten minutes flat. As you set down your fork, you look cluelessly around the room not quiet knowing that to do with yourself. Quite frankly, all you wanted to do now was sleep, but you didn’t want to do that without Alexia and you suspected she had to finish whatever work she was doing before finally retiring to bed. But you didn’t want to just sit here by yourself either.

Alexia soon solves this for you, grabbing the seat of your chair and pulling you closer. You look up at her, head tilted to the side.

"Come here, you can sit on my lap until I am done working." She uses her feet to push her chair back slightly before invitingly pats her thighs, but you hesitate, your earlier worries returning about not wanting to disturb her.

"Come here, bebè. Let me hold you." She reaches to grab your hand and lightly tugs, your resolve immediately breaking. You stand up and allow her to coax you into her lap, one leg either side of her own with your ass planted firmly against her thighs. You melt against her almost immediately, cheek resting against her shoulder as one of your arms settles around her waist. The other stays flush against her chest, fingers hooking tightly to her shirt.

Alexia relaxes at the feeling of your weight on top of her, using the hand that wasn't controlling her laptop to graze gentle circles across the length of your back. She hooks her chin into your shoulder, turning her face slightly to the left so she could breath in your smell for a few moments before focusing back on her work. The sooner she was done, the sooner she could focus one hundred perfect of her attention on you. But for now, she figure this was a good compromise.

"I love you, ale." She hears you murmur as she feels your warm hand creep up her shirt to rest between the back the chair and her bare skin, tracing absently over her tattoos.

"Te amo, mi amor."

**

Tags:

@simp4panos @goldenempyrean @codiemarin @girlgenius1111 @liloandstitchstan

[gr4cier4cie]

♡ i'm a shameless caller (she's a full machine ♡ 2

or: you're the best thing that had ever happened to him. lando can't help himself from reminiscing a bit. or a lot. or all the time. (can be read as a happy standalone or a flashback from part one of this!!) fem!ex!reader x lando norris pt 1

warnings: none just a lil fluff and angst!! THIS IS A FLASHBACK TO WHEN LANDO AND READER WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP TO HELP FIX THE DAMAGE I CAUSED W PART ONE IM SORRY!!

♡

voicemail 1: — [1.10]

"hey, love, just got back to the hotel. [pause] quali was a killer. missed you like hell the entire time. can't even sleep without you anymore. [laughs] mum just sent me that video of you two baking at the house yesterday. she really likes that blue scarf on you—she told me to tell you to keep it. says it looks better on you than her. [laughs] she'd probably kill me if i said i agree, but i do. love you lots. hope you're, uh, sleeping well. even if i'm not. see you soon, baby."

voicemail 2: — [00.52]

"oh, baby, you would not believe what just happened in the drivers' meeting! [laughs] max tried to—actually, no, this is too good for voicemail. please, please, please call me the second you're out of work. it's absolutely mental. also! good luck on your presentation today, baby. you're going to smash it. i'm crazy proud of you. miss you lots. love you forever."

voicemail 3 — [1.12]

"hi, lovely, just got the care package you sent. [pause] how'd you know i was missing home? thought of it this morning, actually. feels like.... like you know me better than i know myself. sorry i didn't get a chance to call until now. had to stop carlos from eating all the biscuits you made me. [laughs] i stole a bunch of the tiny hotel soaps as a present for you when i get home. call me when you're done with work, yeah? love you."

voicemail 4 — [1.13]

"baby! wake up! i just had the best dream—it was you and me at home, and you were wearing my old race jacket and you were... cooking, maybe? i dunno, i'm already forgetting it. [laughs] but it was.... good. we were happy. simple as that. [sighs] i miss that. you, in the kitchen, in my race jacket. send me a picture of you in it when you get a chance. i miss you like crazy over here. anyways. love you forever."

voicemail 5 — [00.53]

"hi, lovely girl. i'm hiding in the bathroom of that gala thing i told you about. you would love it—they have the mini strawberry shortcakes you're obsessed with. ate like, four of 'em, just for you. [pause] keep reaching for your hand when i'm talking to people. keep thinking you're here with me. [pause] anyways. call me when you get a chance."

voicemail 6 — [0.50]

"hi, baby. i just found that note you left me in my bag. [sighs] you're really... something, aren't you? it's, uh, been one of those days. i really needed it. i really needed you. kinda pathetic, yeah? [laughs] sometimes i wonder what i did to deserve you. [pause] call me when you wake up? just... wanna hear your voice. love you."

voicemail 7 — [0.51]

"morning, lovely. just had breakfast with the team and... [laughs] you'll never believe what happened. you know the bracelet you made me? the beaded one, with my number on it? everyone else wants one, too. said it's giving me luck, or something. [laughs] you should charge them, if you ask me. anyways. love you lots. see you soon."

voicemail 8 — [00.21]

"hi love. it's properly miserable here in silverstone. raining like hell. my hair's all messed up, now. [sighs] don't laugh when you watch me on tv, yeah? i'll know if you do. [laughs] love you, baby."

voicemail 9 — [1.12]

"baby? just got your text about your day... wish i was there with you. would've made you that awful tea you pretend to like when you're stressed. [pause] i'm sorry it wasn't good today, baby. you don't deserve that. i'm so proud of you and... [pause] god, you deserve everything. everything good. i promise tomorrow will be better, yeah? i love you so much. hold on, okay? i'll be home soon."

voicemail 10 — [1.16]

"hey, baby. i know you're in the air right now, but... [sighs] i just watched the sunset from melbourne. took a couple pictures for you. can't wait till you're here so we can watch it together. [pause] i keep, uh, thinking about how you... how you changed everything for me. i didn't know life could get this good, you know? didn't know it was possible to love someone as much as i love you. [laughs] i was thinking maybe after the race... [pause] we could talk about you coming to more of them? like, all of them? permanently? [laughs] anyway. call me when you can. love you. so much."

♡

note: so... for those of you who read part one im sorry i tried to make this happier but i am now realizing it's not much better 😭 i want to apologize but what can i say?! angst IS my specialty!! MWAH LOVE YOU ALL!! taglist: @f1fantasys

[chuwenjie]

Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse comes out later today so I wanted to write a post reflecting on my journey and experience working on this movie. So many people have supported me through this and I am so thankful to each and every one of you!

Text version of this post under the cut:

Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse comes out tonight. It feels really weird to be typing that out right now. I worked on the movie as a visdev artist for the last 2.5 years, from 2020 to 2023. Long post incoming.

There are a lot of reasons why I'd consider this film to be one of the most ambitious animated films to ever be made. As artists, we were asked to push ourselves far beyond our comfort zones and do things that had never been done before in animation.

Every time we reached a point where most people would say "this must possibly be as creative and weird as it gets," our entire team of artists and animators would smash right through the ceiling. The driving direction for the visuals of the film was to push the limits of every single frame; to challenge audience expectations and make something truly original.

The best thing about this film was that there wasn't a single boring day working on this movie. The hardest thing about this film was also that there wasn't a single boring day working on this movie.

There were times while working on this where the imposter syndrome hit me hard. This was my first big movie, and what a hell of a first movie to get thrust into.

I came in only a few years out of school with absolutely no idea what the hell I was doing. I constantly feared that someone had made a mistake in bringing me onto this film, and I was going to let everyone down. There was a solid chunk of those 2.5 years where I wasn't sure if animation was the right path for me.

If there's anything I could tell my past self it would be this: there are so many people who love you and believe in you. There will be a time when you get to stand on the other side of it, look back on everything and see how far you came.

I'm still working on self-acceptance every day (it will be a lifelong struggle, I'm sure), but I'm glad I didn't give up on myself. I'm proud of myself and my contributions to this film, and I'm certain that this movie will continue to change and shape the animation landscape just as the first one did. That's truly a special feeling to have been a part of. I am so incredibly grateful to every single person who helped me along this journey.

Here come the thanks:

To the ENTIRE visdev & art crew- it's been an honor getting to work alongside each and every one of you. My jaw is literally still on the floor from seeing your incredible talent day after day.

I want to thank Tiffany and Felicia especially for being there for me through tough times- I admire and respect you both so much as artists, and even better than that, my life is greatly enriched for being able to call you my friends.

Thank you Patrick and Dean for taking chances on me, teaching me so much about art and what I'm capable of, and encouraging me along the way. To Aymeric, your art is one of the reasons I initially became interested in animation and you have been one of the kindest & most empathetic mentors I could ever have asked for.

I want to thank my wonderful parents for believing in me always and raising me into the person I am today: everything I do in life is to make you proud. To my brother Andrew who is perpetually awake at 3 AM when I need someone to talk to- thank you for always picking up the phone and making me laugh.

And finally to my partner Luke for making me grilled cheeses on all of the difficult days, for never getting sick of me even when all I would ever talk about was work, and for patiently and steadfastly loving me throughout this entire thing. I don't think I could've done it without you.

Starting tomorrow I will begin posting and sharing some of the art I made for this movie; I'm looking forward to sharing some of my personal favorites with you. I hope each and every one of you enjoys Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse when it hits theaters later today!

[goddessinnerglow]

Become Your Best Version Before 2025 - Day 15

The Power of Self-Talk

Hi Goddesses! Let's talk about something we all do every single day, often without realizing it, talking to ourselves. You know that little voice in your head that's always commenting on everything? Yeah, that one. Let's make it work for us instead of against us!

Think about it: would you talk to your best friend the way you sometimes talk to yourself? If you just had a mini "oh…" moment, you're not alone. I used to be the queen of harsh self-talk until I realized I was basically being a mean girl to myself 24/7.

So today, we're going to transform that inner critic into your biggest cheerleader. Not in a fake, toxic positivity way, but in a real, authentic way that actually sticks.

Let's look at how we can flip the script:

The Inner Dialogue Check-In

First, let's catch those thoughts! For just one hour today, try to notice your self-talk. No judgment, just observation. You might be surprised at what you hear. Are you:

Beating yourself up over tiny mistakes?

Comparing yourself to others?

Dismissing your achievements?

Using words like "always" and "never" about yourself?

The good news? Once you notice these patterns, you can start changing them.

The Language Swap Game

Here's a powerful trick: imagine your thoughts are text messages you can edit before sending. Let's practice some rewrites:

Instead of "I'm so stupid for making this mistake" Try: "I'm learning from this experience"

Instead of "I'll never be good enough" Try: "I'm growing and improving every day"

Instead of "Everyone else has it figured out except me" Try: "Everyone's on their own journey, and I'm exactly where I need to be"

The Mirror Exercise

This one might feel weird at first, but it works! Every morning when you look in the mirror:

Give yourself one genuine compliment

Say one thing you're proud of

Set one kind intention for the day

Start small, even a simple "Hey, I like your energy today" counts!

Building Your Confidence Playlist

Create a collection of phrases that make you feel strong. Your personal highlight reel might include:

Times you overcame challenges

Compliments you've received that felt truly meaningful

Your proudest moments

Little wins that made you smile

Keep these handy for when your inner critic gets too loud.

The Permission Slips Exercise

Write yourself permission slips, just like in school, but these are for:

Making mistakes and learning from them

Taking up space

Saying no without guilt

Being a work in progress

Changing your mind

The Reframe Game

When you catch a negative thought, ask yourself:

Would I say this to my best friend?

Is this thought helping or hurting me?

What would someone who loves me say instead?

What's a more balanced way to look at this?

Your Daily Self-Talk Rituals

Pick one or two of these to try:

Morning power phrases (said out loud!)

Gratitude check-ins with yourself

Evening appreciation moments

Celebratory self-high-fives (yes, really!)

The goal isn't to never have negative thoughts. It's to catch them, question them, and choose whether to believe them.

Your Challenge for today

Notice your self-talk patterns for one hour (set a timer if it helps!)

Pick ONE negative phrase you use often and write down a kinder alternative

Try the mirror challenge (even if it feels silly at first)

Remember, changing your inner dialogue is like learning a new language, it takes practice, patience, and lots of gentle reminders. You've got this, and more importantly, you deserve this!

See you tomorrow for Day 16!

♡ ☆:.｡ Keep glowing, babes! ♡ ☆:.｡ With love, Goddess Inner Glow.

[xenteaart]

when you're feeling weak, i'll be the words if you can't speak

pairing: chan x reader (i wrote it with idol!chan or producer!chan in mind, but it can fit any au, really) genre/warnings: er, angst, hurt/comfort, implied suffering w depression and anxiety. reader is feeling off and insecure. also kinda going almost non verbal author's note: a short lil songfic ig coz it's inspired by Isak Danielson – I Can't Lose You. basically channie being a comfort boyfie material

to put it simply, you were never not anxious or insecure. but stepping into the big adult life, you sort of learned to conceal it well, even from your own self. the fake it till you make it thing, and you could even say you've "made it" with a small exception of the days where your brain and your entire nervous system randomly circled back to your default settings. "so what are you gonna eat, baby?" chan asks with a cheerful soft tone, glancing over the menu and then back at you.

today's a good day. you haven't been too overwhelmed with work, nothing out of the ordinary happened. so naturally, a pinch of guilt somewhere deep in your guts makes you feel like a bother to be around, and today — for no good reason.

"are you okay?" he notices your slightly spaced out gaze when you're trying to read the menu but not really reading, more like frowning and getting nervous.

"yeah.. no. no, i don't know," you murmur barely audibly, losing your focus for the tenth time in a span of the last five minutes. brain fog takes over, making your vision blurrier than normal and your thinking all floaty and hazy. as if you're looking at the world through dirty lenses, but also the lights are too bright and your surroundings are loud.

"i dunno, i just..." can't even speak for myself today and choose a meal and say it out loud because suddenly everything is embarrassing and difficult.

chris looks slightly worried because you might be in pain or feeling unwell, but nothing hurts except your pride. because you're a big girl, you have been for years, and now you want to cry on the spot because you can't choose between pasta and soup all of a sudden. it makes you feel even more stupid.

"can you please choose and order for me today? my brain just can't," you try to explain, visibly stressed and overwhelmed by a simple mundane task, "i want somethin' warm and filling," you specify to make it easier for chan.

he doesn't make a big deal out of it, just nods and meets you with a gentle 'course, baby. he then talks to the waiter and makes sure they don't ask you anything which feels like a relief. sometimes it's nice to feel invisible, especially in a vulnerable state.

after the horrifying deed is over with, chris leans in a little closer to be able to speak in a softer, quieter voice.

"d'you wanna just have dinner in silence and head home?" he asks while massaging your palm with his fingers soothingly, so calm and nonchalant as if you didn't just obsess over the smallest thing to the point of making yourself filled with shame and insecurity.

that's how chris always does it. by showing you that whatever it is that's bothering you is not a burden to him. he's got you. it's okay if you want or rather need him to do something for you. he's happy to be your strong shoulder to lean onto and not think about a single thing while he takes care of whatever it is at the time.

"yeah. or you can tell me about your day and stuff. i wanna know and i'm okay with listening. just not... responding, maybe?" you give him an awkward smile as he nods understandingly and plants a little kiss on the back of your hand. a modern gentleman and a caring lover.

somewhere in the middle of a story about how cubase was lagging and almost crashed mid producing session today, the waiter brings your meals. it's two pumpkin cream soups, some grilled and seasoned breads and a fresh greek salad to share.

oh, to be loved like this.

your stomach growls at the smell of food, and a bright proud smile is instantly painted over chan's features.

[afniel]

So today I woke up and promptly remembered that hey, didn't I have jury duty at some point this month...? I went downstairs and checked the summons postcard and sure enough, I did.

Last week!

Now, this isn't me confessing a criminal misdemeanor, because I was excused, actually. Luck was on my side (and so was the Wayback Machine, which is how I had to check). No failure to appear, no foul.

The thing I'm actually proud of is that I didn't freak out about it. See, when you've got a lifetime of internalized ADHD shame, the typical reaction to realizing that You Forgot Something, Again, goes like this:

Panic so much. You're going to be In Trouble. Nothing can possibly be worse than being In Trouble. This is a category 5 emergency.

Self-flagellate as hard as humanly possible. What kind of useless sack of unreliable shit, accidentally mislabeled as a human being, could have fucked this up so badly? This is just like everything else in your life. Nothing you do is ever right no matter how hard you try. What's even the point? You're an eternal fuckup. Might as well just accept it.

Existential crisis spiral until you can't even remember what the real problem is. The problem is just you. The problem has always been you. Why are you like this?

Eat an entire thing of Oreos, or whatever your self-destructive self-soothing behavior of choice is. Do you feel better? Not really. You stopped hyperventilating at least, so it'll have to be close enough.

Actually deal with the real problem, if it's even a problem. It probably wasn't. Now you just feel stupid for getting so worked up about it.

Completely fail to realize that you punishing the hell out of yourself in steps 2-4 is just reinforcing your panic response and making you less capable of coping in the future, because you've had it beaten into your head that forgetting things, a normal and reasonable human error, is Simply Not Acceptable, even if it's ultimately pretty harmless. But hey, if you kick your own ass about it harder than anybody else would or even could, then you've personally made sure you have control over the severity of the punishment, right?

Right?

Does that sound like a trauma response? Well, it should, because it is. Many people with ADHD have this same trauma response, because having a brain that doesn't work like everyone else's in a world that is not just not built to accommodate that, but in fact is built to convince you that this is a personal, moral, and unforgivable failure is actually pretty traumatic.

That's verbatim how I've lived most of my life. Don't ask me how the hell I got this far carrying on like that, because I don't even know. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger gives you a goddamn complex. But I've been working on it over the past I don't even know how many years, and today, my response was more like this:

Oh shit jury duty was a week ago. Well, now I just feel silly.

Uhh...let's figure out the worst possible outcome. Jail time? Seems highly unlikely for a first time misdemeanor. Possibly a fine, but probably a warning.

Let's look up what actually happens to people in my county who miss their jury duty. They get sent a second summons. That's very reasonable and not at all a real problem if it happens.

Let's find out if I was even summoned to appear. If not, it isn't even a problem. Mention it to my partner at this point. They say 'yeah, I forgot I had jury duty once. I looked up whether or not I was summoned on the Wayback Machine. You told me to not worry about it either way because people honestly forget all the time, and it's a fixable problem whatever happens.'

Realize they are right (and that I forgot this happened until they mentioned it because it was such a non-issue), and I should take the advice I give and treat myself like somebody I care about. I reassure myself that it's not a big deal and people do it all the time and nobody's doing to be personally affronted, and a sincere apology goes a very long way even with a cranky judge if it comes to that. I check the Wayback Machine.

I was excused anyway, so no big deal in the end. I now have a funny story to tell, and I'll probably remember better in the future as a result. Realize that even if it had gone worse, it still would have ended up a funny story later. Yeah, even if they inexplicably threw me in jail for a night. That sure would never get old retelling.

Have a shower and get on with my day.

Gold star for me, I completely didn't even realize that I was de-catastrophizing so well until after the fact. Like I've got it down to a reflex now. I am legitimately just a much calmer person than I used to be. Feels pretty alright! I could get used to this not kicking the absolute mental health out of myself every time something goes slightly wrong. Highly recommend being nice to yourself actually, 10/10 experience.

Anyway that's me tooting my own horn. I feel very emotionally stable and pretty good about that fact. It's been a fucking journey.