#for as long as this feeling will last | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

i-appear-misssing · 3 months ago

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So what if we stayed out until the wee hours of morning talking and talking and talking and talking while everyone else had left like 5 hours earlier and what if she let me see her cry when she said she hadn't cried in a very long time and what if I held her so tight while she sobbed on my shoulder and I felt her heartbeat against my stupid fucking Rat-Man shirt and what if I told her things I've never been able to say out loud very quietly and what if she then made to hold me but stopped dead in her tracks cause I'd just told her stuff about my body and then waited for me to say you can touch me and what if she held my head and told me she loved me and that she's not used to saying it out loud and what if I

#im gonna stop right there #in other news #I'll be alright if our......um #connection #is what sets things in motion for her to be more open about her feelings with more people in the future #i still feel that fear like #I'm useful to her right now and that's why I'm special but as soon as the necessity is gone my role and space inher lifewill be gone with it #i know people don't work like that #i can keep it in check but i feel it #and fuck when i manage to do that i genuinely feel beathless seeing her glow from all the attention she gets #like a bunch of bees buzzing around the beautiful fucking flower that she is and i feel like......yeah. yeah you better. look at her #and even if i lose my 'spot' once the necessity is gone like........ it's fine. I'll be fine. it'll hurt but i know I'll be fine #I'm never gonna fucking forget these nights and this time in my life and I'm gonna sit on my #tiny little windowsill and listen to This never happened before by Sir Paul McCartney pike I'm 14 again and I'm gonna go :'''')#for as long as this feeling will last #and when it turns to sadness I'll tend to it with all the love it deserves like i did to her and fuck holding on too tight #and fuck saying 'i want you in my life' like those disgusting little men did I'm gonna actually show her even if im scared #and yes i know this is happening very fast and it needs to be handled carefully #whatever happens I'll be fine eventually and I'm already out of my skin happy that it happened and it happened to me. fuck it #also the way she smells makes me want to cleave myself open navel to neck

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heytherecentaurs · 1 month ago

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Brennan’s talked before about how as a poor young adult he lived in New York and struggled with food security. He tells a story of going to frozen yogurt places for free samples and a cheap dumpling spot because it was a lot of food.

His opinions on food and his described behaviours around food make a lot of sense in that context. He may be successful now and can be assured he can eat again when he’s hungry, but it appears he has legitimate trauma around his experiences with poverty because what he’s humorously describing is a trauma response. His mind hasn’t gotten rid of the anxiety of “I’m eating now so I better make it count because I don’t know when I will again.”

Because he’s a comedian he manages to frame it as a joke, but there’s certainly an underlying sadness. It also informs Evan Kelmp’s characterization. Capitalism is the root issue here and poverty is state-sanctioned economic abuse.

Anyway, I hope he’s doing well and taking care of himself.

#dimension 20 #d20 #gastronauts #brennan lee mulligan #evan kelmp #I don’t typically talk about the actors like this #because I don’t know them but I found this a striking through line #this is the kind of analysis I’d do for a character #but he’s a real person #but given what he’s said it feels cogent #and it feels important to note our favourite funny man had to struggle to eat #a lot of people do #and the harm that food insecurity inflicts is long lasting #that’s the message here #hey there centaurs

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floccinaucinihilipilificationa · 1 year ago

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#good omens #´hello friends!! how are you!!#I hope you're doing well! ( ´ ▽ ` )#I have a big cough but otherwise I am good! It's nothign bad I am just very slimey #usually I am not a cough person I am not sure where this is coming from #most of the time I just get a stuffy nose #has my nose gotten stronger #but there are good news too I have already found a VERY good chestnut to put into my pocket this autumn!! its very small! (❁´▽`❁)#it's been a very warm autumn in Germany so far so it has not really felt like fall yet #but yesterday it was all rainy and stormy and I had two new books and it was the best day possible to have a slimey cough (:#and now I feel SO much autumn I am close to buying a set of window colors #I do not know what I would to with the window colors I just have this strong urge in me to buy a window color set #the last time I did a window color was at the birtday of a class mate I think she turned 9 and I made a deer #but for some reason we did this craft 5 minutes before we all had to leave so we had to carry our window color deer home wet #unfortunatly for the deer and me I fell down the stairs of her house and smeared the deer all over me and i screamed the entire drive home #which wasn't very long but it probably felt very long for the mother who had a screaming child covered in window color deer inside her car

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bixels · 7 months ago

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Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

#mlp #yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia.#yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show #but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!!#i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse #in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character #personal #delete later #unless you like this analysis stuff #i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did #cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her #mother and father as a teenager #i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased #but i'll put some in the tags #involving rarijack –– i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity #anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention #(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff #long post #regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at #a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up

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daeyumi · 6 months ago

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made a fake boxart for my zelda au 🌟💫

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theerurishipper · 6 months ago

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-

Part 1 <- Part 2 -> Part 3

Masterpost

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hinamie · 3 months ago

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alongside someone like you

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #yuji itadori #megumi fushiguro #itafushi #fushiita #fanart #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen fanart #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #jjk 266 #jjk leaks #i feel like i say this after every piece at this point but iam once again. SO TIRED #collapses dead #cries i did it again i ws up all last night finishing the first 1.....tht one took *counts* 8 hours...#got 3 hrs sleep n picked up where i left off on th second one at 8 in the morning #2nd one absolutely ruined me n made the third one feel like a herculean task . even tho its literally just them on a bed #rooms....KITCHENS......beloathed!!!! public enemy no1 kill on sight!!!!!!#hell is real and they make u render different rooms of houses from scratch no perspective tool no clue what ur doing #n they see how long it takes u to completely lose it #clipped yuujis bangs back tho n i thought tht was cute . silver linings #1ST ONE WAS SO FUN ALSO idk if its bc outdoor environments r forgiving or bc i had more energy n was fresh faced n hopeful or what #but it is by far my favourite. once again pulled out nearly every nature brush in my arsenal #third one meh simple safe soft w/e i was just so exhausted after th kitchen tht working on it was such a slog #oh ya i added a bunch of scars 2 yuuji's arms n lobbed off his ring finger sighs the yuuji injury list (tm) grows every minute #also HINA USE YELLOW CHALLENGE CLEAR golden hour in2 sunset my beloved <333 easy warm light + safe homey Peaceful vibes...bless #cries eternally thinking abt them let us have this let THEM have this pls thank u #ok i need to not look at these anymore take them enjoy my contribution 2 the domestic itfs pile

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pineapple-frenzy · 8 months ago

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Book 2 au: sparring sessions and short hair katara

They like to have sparring sessions in order to keep their bending skills sharp. They allow themselves to go all out and not hold back at all cause they know if anyone got hurt, Katara could just heal them

But anyways, wouldn't it be kinda funny if Zuko accidentally burned Katara's hair tho? Aofkqldkkajfjd

The "I think we can save the hairloops" line is from @linnoya-writes thank you for that!! :>>

#zutara #zuko #katara #atla #book 2 au #my art #i mentioned in my last book 2 au post that i wanted to include short hair katara into it and y'all were so supportive of it!! 😭😭😭#so this is how i think it would go #it would happen as katara is trying to evade one of zuko's fire balls #she manages to avoid it but since her hair is long it still caught on fire #she'd be pissed so she water whips the hell out of zuko #and then promptly forgets about it akfhkakdkakdj #even after the sparring session she still hasn't remembered cause 'oh no zuko's in pain i have to help him!'#it isn't until zuko even mentions it that she remembers #zuko thinks she's more calm than i thought she would be after burning her hair so he mentions it to her #little did he know katara just forgor aldjlakdkaljd #n e ways zuko does feel bad so she offers to help fix it up for her #i think after the haircut katara would find herself looking in mirrors when there are any around cause 'zuko thinks i'm beautiful?? really?#zuko doesn't know this tho and he thinks katara is till sad about the unwanted haircut so he keeps telling her that she looks beautiful #and katara just keeps losing it aldjlakdlald #in conclusion they are idiots your honor

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cartarg · 9 months ago

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kitty of some sort

#been doodlin...#oc #original art #cat #illustration #digital art #artists on tumblr #only rly drew these to satiate my desire for a long skirt. one day i will find u #edit: RAGHHHH the last one feels so plain i wanna add more to it... oh well.... just know its not to my Standards >:T #edit edit: WOWIE ty for all the love on this one!!!! and to everyone saying gender in the tags. u get it u get it <3 <3 <3

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pupkinpumpkin · 7 days ago

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Rook being a very physically touchy person and Lucanis avoiding touch at all costs from built up trauma from childhood, his work as a Crow, and the Ossuary. Them always asking for Lucanis' permission to touch him, and before Tearstone Island, they hug him and he still flinches but he holds them tight

As Rook is taken into the Regret prison and they see a vision of Lucanis' body on the ground, they scream his name out of concern and fear but all Lucanis hears is them screaming for him to help, and then they're gone. They're gone. He thinks they were screaming his name, begging him to save them and now they're gone.

Weeks into Rook being taken into the Regret prison and now a man who couldn't be touched without reflexively drawing a blade is craving the warmth of his partner who he thinks he'll never see again

Lucanis pulling Rook out of the prison, knowing it's them right away because of their hands. He missed their hands, he missed their touch, he missed their warmth, he missed them.

When Rook gets back, Lucanis' touch is slow and soft, almost unbelieving. Weeks of stress and torture and pain and guilt and regret, and now they're here. Once they're finally together, he feels as though the world is in their arms and if killing a god is the only way to stay there, he will do what a Crow does best and fulfill this contract

#dragon age #the veilguard spoilers #veilguard spoilers #dragon age veilguard #dragon age the veilguard #dragon age lucanis #lucanis dellamorte #lucanis x rook #lucanis romance #rookanis #and he gets them screaming his name in a *different* way you know what I- (is shot)#just thinking about how my Rook cant go to sleep with touching her partner in some form #doesnt matter if its a toe a shoulder an elbow #as long as she has some sort of contact with her partner's body she can sleep well #not sure how i feel about that last line :/#I'll find something better later #probably #maybe

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independent-fics · 4 months ago

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Now, you can take that as a gift, or you can take it as a curse. And that's up to you.

Eliot Spencer and Parker Doing the Things Others Won’t

Leverage (2008-2012)

04x01 The Long Way Down Job

05x09 The Rundown Job

#this parallel came to me like a fever dream last night #and I had to share the sadness with others #and then this sent me on a spiral about communication types between the ot3 #Parker and Eliot understand each other so well #and a lot of what they have is silent communication #like that nod in the rundown job #between Parker and Hardison #direct communication #necessary and developed when figuring out their feelings #between Hardison and Eliot #physical and indirect communication #(ex: handshake bumping each other bickering)#I could write an essay #but instead I will leave you with this gifset #leverage #the long way down job #the rundown job #inde gifs #inde gifs: the long way down job #inde gifs: the rundown job #Eliot Spencer #Parker #inde gifs: leverage parallels #leverage parallels #fudge I need to reaclimate to tumblr fonts and heirarchy #I had no idea where to put the quote #graphic design degree and for what #inde gifs: leverage ot3 #leverage ot3

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araremonaka · 3 months ago

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More handholding

#fop #fop timmy turner #Timmy turner #fop peri #peri fairly oddparents #fop poof #if it feels ooc in any way it probably is sorryy #I haven’t watched the og in a really reallllly long time #i watched a couple of episodes last week though

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astearisms · 1 year ago

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part of a sadness

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gingermaple · 3 months ago

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found ur blog thru cuteguy art, went to ur tags to look for more cuteguy art, SAW SANDERS SIDES MY DAY IS ABSOLUTELY MADE.

I love finding more sanders sides artists even if they dont draw for it anymore!! its such a nice surprise always :DDD

did a little virgil for my warmup, i'm glad my art made your day cause this ask made mine :D

#art #doodle #answer #pixxlotl #sanders sides #tss #virgil sanders #<- god it's been so long #it's crazy to see how far i've come since i last drew this guy #honestly there are times where i feel like privating/deleting my really old art posts #asks like this are one of the main reasons i don't #<3

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petricorah · 1 year ago

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which zuko hairstyle is your fave? [id in alt]

#zuko #zuko fanart #zuko atla #zuko avatar the last airbender #avatar the last airbender #atla fanart #avatar the last airbender fanart #avatar fanart #myart #this all started with me drawing short haired sokka but i got distracted and drew zuko's short hair and then it was all over #it was fun drawing them all. i wanna draw shorthaired zuko more #also drawing the one where iroh did his hairstyle was actually fun #not sure im gonna finish short haired sokka i feel like it only looks like him if it's beside his long hair version

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bacchuschucklefuck · 6 months ago

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soon it'll be dawn again

transcript under the cut ⏬

page 01

Fig: no way? - you're still up?

Riz: Wh– yes?

Riz: Why'd I not be.

page 02

Fig: I me~~ean - that took.

Fig: whole day.

Riz: Yeah?

Fig: 'm beat.

Riz: you should sleep.

page 03

Fig: nah. my guy's still up

Fig: I wanna hang out.

page 04

Riz: That's really nice.

Fig: Hah! - Nobody ever expects an Archdevil rockstar to be nice.

Riz: … yeah. - 's just budget work tho. (the stuff I'm working on) - I've heard it's boring.

page 05

Fig: yeah, but you do it…

Riz: It keeps things going, right? - Nothing happens if nobody sits down and - does the thing.

Fig: That's right… - though. Yeah.

page 06

Fig: sometimes it's someone else who - doesn't want the same thing to happen.

Riz: … - mm.

page 07

Riz (off screen): …It took me a long time to get that not everyone likes doing what I do. - 's probably because you guys are so nice– - or. - kind.

Riz (off screen): to anyone too, not just. - the people you /love/.

page 08

Riz: that's not how it is elsewhere. - The world's– not. hostile. - but 's not like it's kind.

Riz: So I'm doing as much as I can now…

page 09

Fig: Hey.

Riz: ?

Fig: Go dig some dirt with me.

page 10

Riz: [blank speech bubble] - oh you meant like - actual dirt. (not incriminating information)

Fig: o yea.

Fig: there's clay in the backyard soil. - sometimes when I'm sun deficient or something I go touch dirt for a bit.

page 11

Fig: here u go

page 12

Riz: uh

Fig: now we make a thing! - 'm pretty good at freehanding a bowl.

Fig: I'll show u

page 13

Fig: just– yep, flatten that out as evenly as u can, then–! - actually ur nails'd be so good at cutting out the strip. [larger than usual space] wait. - wait. wait u can carve patterns with them! we HAVE to try

Riz: uh - What. do I carve?

Fig: anything!!!

page 14

Fig: and– yep just seal the inside uh. seam?

Fig: yep that works - okay time's up! all contestant hands up

Riz: [blank speech bubble] - okay - wh. what's next?

Fig: haha - watch this.

(sound effect text): FWOO—MP

page 15

Riz: WH– DON'T JUST DO THAT???

Fig: Now it's fired!

Riz: THAT WAS NOT SAFE

Fig: (actually it's just dry. if u add water rn it'll dissolve)

Fig: ok catch!

Riz: [blank speech bubble] - careful!!

Fig: dw no need haha

page 16

Riz (thought bubble): oh - it's warm…

Fig: now I want you to throw this.

page 17

Fig: u gotta do it - c'mon

page 18

Riz: wh– - It's like 3AM right now

Fig: oh it's not /fired/ fired it's not gonna make a loud noise

Riz: And then just? leave a pile out here?

Fig: pour water over it & it'll be gone I told u

Riz: but

page 19

Fig (off screen): RIz.

page 20

Fig: I've done all this before.

Fig: Can you trust that at least?

page 21

Riz: no, I– - I do. - I trust you.

page 23

Riz: okay what happens now

(sound effect text): glob

page 24

Fig: we do it again!

page 25

Riz: wh. [larger than usual space] What do you mean. (this clay's too wet also)

Fig: see! you're already learning

Fig: [blank speech bubble] - there are flows that are futile to fight. - The world changes.

Fig: Things change.

page 26

Fig: I've learned my lessons with "forevers". - But - as an artist

Fig: I can give you one thing: - You can always do it again.

page 27

Fig: most of everything depends on the rest of the world, - but this. - making new. - that's yours as long as you want it.

page 28

Fig: So?

page 29

Riz: Yeah. - Yeah! - let's make another one.

#dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #riz gukgak #figueroth faeth #technically no spoilers in this comic but listen. I Will be gloating in tags. I will Never Shut Up #for the record!! this was fully conceptualized and sketched Before the finales. I started sketching this after the boat fight #and when murph closed riz's arc this season with ''maybe it's okay to change and welcome new things'' I pogged irl #I am simply the best at reading comprehension what can I say! (<- grown ass man with roughly the same perspective on teenhood as the player #fucked up that this became so long (almost 30 squares lol) that it took me this long to finish #lmao I say all that but. genuinely I am delirious and my feelings abt riz's arc this season are so big... I was getting psychic backlash #for a While lol. it was scary!!#had to sit down and do therapy on my own ass for a bit. the teenage apocalyticisation is real. that word isnt tho Im pretty sure #truly anything you do at that age feels like that's it that's all you've got going on forever. and its not true! its simply not true #you'll be okay my guy. you love your friends so so much but also there will be more to love out there #this one goes out to fellow aroaces and also folks leaving somewhere theyve called home for a long time #nothing lasts forever but that means new things come by too! ur ability to make new is infinite!!#there's no magnum opus people leave but new people come by too etc. I am too sleepy to remember what I wanted to say uhhh #well. thank u for looking at my art. I think thats the one pack it n ship it boys

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