#for a bit before getting medicated

[cellophobia]

damn i wish i was one of those bp people who feel well rested on 3 hours of sleep. i am so tired and i want caffeine but that'll make me tweak

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

hero/villain showdown but one of them has a spontaneous medical emergency and the battle gets put on hold while their archnemesis drives them to Urgent Care

[lunacias]

(Silence. CARPENTER tries to rally HAYWARD's spirits. She's afraid she's going to lose him.)

"All three of us - we can all go on living, Hayward. Just like you said."

[primus-why]

I love the idea of Ratchet being captured while badly injured. It wasn't necessarily on purpose-- he knows the Cons would love to take him prisoner in order to utilize his medical skills, he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Once they realized he was a medic they pulled him from the rubble and got him on a slab pretty quickly all things considered. The trouble is there's a reason the Cons value medical expertise-- he's bleeding out, they don't have enough supplies, and at this rate Ratchet knows he's gonna die. So with whatever strength he can muster he gets the attention of one of the grunts working on him.

Ratchet: H... hey... I need you... to pass on a message...

Con 1: To who, your Prime? Not gonna happen.

Con 2: Yeah we don't really do the 'any last words' thing.

Ratchet: No... *wheeze* to Deadlock.

Con 1 & 2: *go still*

Ratchet: Tell 'im... I'll... be waiting... for him...

Con 2: Wait a klik...

Con 1: ... You don't think--?

Con 2: -- Frag! Oh frag!! His vitals!!! Dealock is gonna kill us!!

Con 1: Scrap! Get Soundwave on the line, have him patch to the DJD!

Con 2: He's not gonna make it! I don't want them to know my face!

Con 1: It. won't. matter. If we wait, it'll look worse!

Con 2: Oh Primus, I hope they don't pick up...

Con 1: Just go!!!

Ratchet: ... I'm waitin' to... kick his aft... *passes out*

[demonir]

I like them a whole lot 💜

[gxlden-angels]

I've had this account now for 5ish years now. I've been in therapy for years, not exclusively for religious trauma but it's a major part. I've gotten better. I have a lot of content here I could reflect on, but I don't think I want to. I like knowing I progressed. I don't like looking at what from. Usually religious trauma comes up in therapy as an "oh yea...." instead of by name now. It's indirect. Enmeshment. Parentification. Vaginismus. Scrupulous and Harm OCD. Alexithymia. Derealization and Depersonalization. Paranoia.

I'm like, a real adult now I guess. I have a bachelor's degree now. I walk this upcoming weekend. I live in a house and I'm renting out a room with my own money. It has a backyard my cat likes to run around in. I had a job interview in my chosen field today. It went well

Then I'll go back to my family for the weekend and I find out they're spiraling into AI generated christian conspiracy theory videos. Their pastor is preaching about Trump being the anti-christ, and any non-Trump or Conspiracy message is the same thing he's said for the past decade, sometimes word for word. My uncle is convinced he's a prophet. He tells a story about a girl that was paralyzed after not listening to his message. My grandfather is convinced us black people are the true Israelites and chosen people. I thought I was the only one medically neglected by my aunt who's a doctor. I was not. I show her my emotions chart app. She tells me it's good so I can recognize when I feel bad and remember Jesus's love until I'm happy again. It's not normal for your joints to pop out of place apparently. We all learned this at the same time. It's Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. That explains a lot. My grandfather fell asleep to a video about the Ethiopian bible and how other bibles were made to take out miracles by Jesus and angels again. The remote is lodged in his hand so we can't change it

Then I talk about plants and food with my dad and my grandmother. My dad jokingly complains about his mom making him garden with her all day half a century ago. I give her a little kiss on her forehead before I go. My dad sends me home with leftover peach cobbler he made. I eat it with my lunch at my job. I answer phone calls at a front desk. I paid real taxes for the first time this year. I go to therapy and I talk about everything from my sex life to my graduate school plans to my opinions about generative AI (I hate it). I'm like, a real, breathing adult that has autonomy I guess. I'm not even claimed as a dependent anymore. I built my own desk that I bought from Big Lots.

You get where I'm going with this right? I'm not cured or healed by any means. Far from it in fact. I still get a pang of anxiety using the lord's name in vain and a chill down my spine when manifesting feels too close to confessing. It's harder making a personal post about religious trauma now though. It's not necessarily that I'm cured, it's just so engrained that I've created atheistic excuses to stay stuck in my religious trauma. I can pinpoint the source of it if I think about it long enough, so I don't think about it long enough

I'm not afraid to think lustful thoughts because holding lust in your heart is a sin, it's because I feel like a creep. I'm not worried I'll be sent to hell if I make mistakes that take me further from Jesus, I just think making mistakes would make me a bad person and an asshole. These beliefs popped out of nowhere, of course. They aren't influenced by the religious trauma so deeply buried in my head that taking it out would feel like taking out the gray matter of my brain itself. I'm schrodingers's man where I'm only a human when I'm observed. It used to be a deity but then it was you. I'm observed by you and that proved I'm human just long enough to get by when I most needed it. I still have that problem, but I'm seen outside of here. I see myself more often too

I don't want this post to seem like a good-bye, because it's not. I'm just currently in a period of limbo and I feel like the next generation of religious trauma bloggers are rising. I'm too busy arguing with my therapist about why I'm a bad person in a way that doesn't just boil down to "I'm a sinner in need of redemption" in a desperately-secular way. I'm self-aware enough to know that's what I'm doing, but not progressing enough to stop yet. I think what will happen is I'll eventually get frustrated enough to give up on the secular origins of my mental distress. I think a lot of you are in a similar place. You're out long enough that it feels like it should be over. You don't live in the bible-thumping, belt-wielding, gay-bashing, hellscape you once did. You might even be no-contact. You pay taxes now in your apartment. But it's not over. It's still there. It's just harder to say it's Jesus's fault I'm like this. It feels like it's been too long to still blame the bible.

It's not. It's buried in your synapses and neurons and muscles and bones and skin and hair and teeth and it's hard to remember that after 5 years. It's not oozing out into your bloodstream and filling you with enough cortisol and adrenaline to fuel an elephant anymore. It trickles though like a leaky faucet. I think I've lost the plot at this point, but you get it

Like I said, not a goodbye despite what it seems like. I just have to remember that a leaky faucet is still a concern

[butch-bakugo]

Why are vetted accounts sending people stuff like this.

I mean it's clearly copy-pasted and sent to multiple people but this isn't even a donations ask. Imma guess the reason people aren't responding is because you're accusing them of not doing enough for Palestine and sending it to multiple people who you clearly don't check because I've been posting about and for Palestine since oct 7th when I learned about it.

Also yes he is looking for donations, you can check his account and find it. Why are you sending this guilt trippy stuff to people and accusing them of not caring enough? You don't know me? You send these to multiple people so your clearly not checking the account in question. This dose nothing to help you personally or the Palestinian cause, it just pisses people off and makes them question vetters.

[salt-baby]

today in my doctors appointment, my doctor explained my new diagnosis, then suggested I participate in their clinical trial for an experimental drug for 9000$... before mentioning any other treatment options

in case you're unaware, that's grossly unethical and a massive red flag

[myxineye]

everytime i draw tf2 again it makes me extremely unhappy and fills me with a kind of dread. but i feel trapped cause its probably the most ill ever be known for

[god-syndicate-if]

Hi, hope you are having a great day!

I have two questions: How many words have you written till now, and is Harper in general just a klutz, or is it something else?

75k-ish. idk thats what it was last night and i'm currently rewriting a big scene like a thousand times so like we'll see? Progress is slow, I am sorry about that. but I'm getting more time to write and I'm finally medicated again so it'll be quicker hopefully. Honestly its the reason why i'm ignoring the mountain of asks rn. I want to post it already.

Harper isn't a klutz, I was mostly joking about that. They're just not great at life generally. You'll see. I'm not going to post their character bio for a bit I think because I don't want to post spoilers but I don't want to give people the wrong idea about their character and those two things can't really go together.

[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all! I am thinking about trying to get back in the habit of hitting the punching bag* more regularly, both because I used to love practicing martial arts and because I am hoping it will help turn slow tigers into fast tigers with this one neat trick** What music do you suggest to hit/kick a punching bag to? So far the best song I've found for it tempo-wise is "I Was Made For Loving You" by Kiss, because the drums/bass work really well to keep me from going too fast*** *once again I am confused about what verb to use for that. Kicking? Attacking? Practicing with???? **aka that one post about ending a physiological stress response by tricking your brain into thinking you'd defeated a short term stressor like a tiger ***because of the sodium Georg issues my heart likes to go fast and if I punch too much too fast it goes too fast and then I have to sit down and the metaphorical tigers win the fight lol

[an-assortment-of-forks]

top surgery consult NEXT WEEK boys. next week. we made it

[somelazyassartist]

More character designs need to give women facial hair it's so beautiful and so underutilized as a character design trait. Scruffy scrappy facial hair or just prominent sideburns or a full grown beard and everything inbetween it's all wonderful and more people should do it I think. Also more body hair in general. Put some arm and leg and belly and chest and back and bush hair on them. You should. You have to.

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Who is the Tails Polycule favorite sonic?

So as far as the Prime Polycule au goes, the only Sonic they've met is Prime!Sonic (who in this au is sort of combined with Modern!Sonic and IDW!Sonic). This kind of means that despite being in a polycule there is some lowkey background fighting over Prime Sonic that's inevitable😂😅

As for an version of the au where Sonic variants exist, sadly I haven't yet done too much thinking for potential Sonic variants. But for what I have so far, I'd say just about everyone in the polycule would prefer their own Sonic/Sonic variant

Except for Nine (lol). He prefers Prime!Sonic over the two versions of New Yoke!Sonic that exist in my head (one is a take from an au I've been working on with someone else, and that Sonic is a major dick. the other is from @phantom-fleetways's au, where New Yoke Sonic is basically just a paycheck to paycheck disabled guy living in a bachelor pad)

[sugaredoleander]

the funniest part about 6x11 to me is that nora is played by sasha alexander - the same sasha alexander who would go on to play dr. maura isles (the pilot of rizzoli & isles aired 5 months later)

what would you call that, foreshadowing?

this era of proto-queerbait needs to be studied btw