#for a bit before getting medicated
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damn i wish i was one of those bp people who feel well rested on 3 hours of sleep. i am so tired and i want caffeine but that'll make me tweak
#i have a psych appointment today#evil psychiatrist wants to put me on evil medications#<< mostly kidding but there is a hint of truth to it#give me lithium or give me death#i honestly don't WANT to be medicated right now 😭 i'm fucking happy for the first time in a long time#my energy level fluctuations are crazy though#anyway is it really bp mania if it was triggered by drug use#the worst that's happening is i'm obsessed with makeup and inflated self esteem#also i want to shop. but i keep myself very controlled#some days are bad because im so irritable#but i have the confidence to text friends i haven't seen in years. is that so bad???#yes bp just gets worse with time I KNOW THAT but as someone who experiences depression 90 percent of the time i just want to fucking vibe#for a bit before getting medicated#bpthingz#cello.txt#i feel like i took an adderall#but it lasts all the time. and it's great#THE CRASH IS ABOUT TO BE CRAZY#stay tuned
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(Silence. CARPENTER tries to rally HAYWARD's spirits. She's afraid she's going to lose him.)
"All three of us - we can all go on living, Hayward. Just like you said."
#the silt verses#tsv#sister carpenter#carpenter#james hayward#audio drama#horror podcast#artists on tumblr#listen all my tsv drawings so far have been vibes based so pls ignore the inconsistencies on here alfkdsj#namely: i know carpenter uses a rifle (opted against it visually)#and then i spent like half an hour looking at iv diagrams and idk how medical care is on a plane but. listen. I'm ignoring all that#let alone with a patient you were forced to heal after being held hostage LOL#(not putting hayward in a hospital gown for the finale. i'm not. so he gets his bloodied clothes)#anyway i (notoriously slow artist) rushed to get this out before the finale#they mean so much to me!!#(faulkner voice) jeez hayward how come you get to have a good relationship with paige AND carpenter in the final season#also if you follow my main the small detail of carpenter not letting go of hayward's hands in the beginning-#was my load bearing emotional support bit of the episode you know I had to include it#the way i spent forever trying to get carpenter's expression right only to last minute decide NOT to cover it up alfsdjk#id in alt text#pls lmk if there's anything in the description i should change!#i try to keep it short but I know I ramble#tw blood#tw eye strain
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I like them a whole lot 💜
#tf2#tf2 fanart#team fortress 2#tf2 medic#tf2 engineer#science party#engiemedic#digital art#artists on tumblr#you can see these as platonic if you want#anyways theyve just been on my brain a lot and i needed to get them out#im a peach fuzz engie truther sorry#hed only be like that for like a week every 2 months but that wouldnt stop me from drawing it anyways#also my medic drawings are so fucking inconsistent i am so sorry it will happen again#his eyebrows are always fire tho#my tablet died when i was nearly finishing the second drawing so i had to color it with my mouse SOBS#i think medic looks a bit twinkish in the second pic and i hate it but im too tired to fix it#also tablet not working as i mentioned before#anyways goodnight im going to sleep (it is 6 pm)#demos art
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I just think he's pretty
#I am an old man Silco enjoyer too btw don't come for me#Vander attacking him gets a bit sadder to me thinking about Silco having to self medicate his wound before meeting Singed#a nerve eating infection has to HURT#that one flashback made it look like his mascara was running so my silly little headcanon is that he would wear mascara sometimes#and after the Incident he tried to keep wearing it but it would constantly be running from the pain so he had to stop wearing it#and it further solidified the idea that he couldn't go back to being that same person he was ever again#Arcane#Silco#Young Silco#JuanitaScribbles
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Blacked out and finally made a short comic scene of Kraw and Sylvaine’s first ‘meeting’.
After Kraw escapes the Black Loch, he unwittingly ends up in Sylvaine’s care for quite some time. He’s in a sort of fugue state at first, unable to speak and behaving completely feral. After destroying some property upon his entry, he finally drags himself into the nearest dark corner to die. Before doing so, he is found by Ari and Sylvaine, who is determined to nurse him back to health by her own means. It seemed impossible to her that he was even still alive in the first place and she was instantly intrigued by his arrival.
I’d say this is about 15 or so years before he finds Gen and everything.
#comic#horror art#monster art#gore#blood#body horror#hallowed carrion#medical#doctor#kraw#sylvaine#ari#poor baby#kraw in a less than formidable condition#had a couple days off and this was pretty much all I did oops#this was in my folder for SO LONG before I finally fot a random burst of motivation to work on it again#hope this doesn’t get buried since it’s gristly#i know its a bit early for goretober#not that I’ve ever cared to participate
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Hi, hope you are having a great day!
I have two questions: How many words have you written till now, and is Harper in general just a klutz, or is it something else?
75k-ish. idk thats what it was last night and i'm currently rewriting a big scene like a thousand times so like we'll see? Progress is slow, I am sorry about that. but I'm getting more time to write and I'm finally medicated again so it'll be quicker hopefully. Honestly its the reason why i'm ignoring the mountain of asks rn. I want to post it already.
Harper isn't a klutz, I was mostly joking about that. They're just not great at life generally. You'll see. I'm not going to post their character bio for a bit I think because I don't want to post spoilers but I don't want to give people the wrong idea about their character and those two things can't really go together.
#I do want to thank you all for following despite not having a demo yet it makes me feel good#i've been working on it a bit while at work but alas my job takes precedent#i wrote a solid 40k when I was medicated before and now that i'm back i've been able to find my groove in that regard again#thanks for the ask!#god syndicate#but thats enough behind the scenes stuff#if you do send asks i'll get to them eventually but i still have asks from a month ago or so i havent touched#and tbh probably wont
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Hey y'all! I am thinking about trying to get back in the habit of hitting the punching bag* more regularly, both because I used to love practicing martial arts and because I am hoping it will help turn slow tigers into fast tigers with this one neat trick** What music do you suggest to hit/kick a punching bag to? So far the best song I've found for it tempo-wise is "I Was Made For Loving You" by Kiss, because the drums/bass work really well to keep me from going too fast*** *once again I am confused about what verb to use for that. Kicking? Attacking? Practicing with???? **aka that one post about ending a physiological stress response by tricking your brain into thinking you'd defeated a short term stressor like a tiger ***because of the sodium Georg issues my heart likes to go fast and if I punch too much too fast it goes too fast and then I have to sit down and the metaphorical tigers win the fight lol
#the person behind the yarn#medical mention#well. sort of? kind of obliquely mentioned but eh I use the tag so people can blacklist it if they want#I am very very bad at moderate or low intensity exercise#but I'm up to like 4 minutes ish at a time at the punching bag!#I even managed to warm up a bit before hitting it this time! (I did some jumping jacks)#but today I also went a little too much too soon and my heart rate did get a little out of hand#not dangerous! or like#the only danger I am in is of overdoing it and passing out which is only dangerous if I fall#and my bp drops slowly enough that I always have time to sit down first if I need to#so this is perhaps not my wisest possible choice of ways to exercise but treadmills are so boring
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Why are vetted accounts sending people stuff like this.
I mean it's clearly copy-pasted and sent to multiple people but this isn't even a donations ask. Imma guess the reason people aren't responding is because you're accusing them of not doing enough for Palestine and sending it to multiple people who you clearly don't check because I've been posting about and for Palestine since oct 7th when I learned about it.
Also yes he is looking for donations, you can check his account and find it. Why are you sending this guilt trippy stuff to people and accusing them of not caring enough? You don't know me? You send these to multiple people so your clearly not checking the account in question. This dose nothing to help you personally or the Palestinian cause, it just pisses people off and makes them question vetters.
#levi speaks#the second i put the daily click for palestine on multiple of my other popular non politcal blogs#i got a bunch of non vetted spam donations asks to the point i had to turn off my inbox#like why are they being sent to my completely empty blog without even a post on it nor a mention of Palestine#like a blog with litterally nothing on it but its pfp header and a tiny bit of type#im not saying they shouldn't reach out to as many people as possible but clearly spam accounts with stolen pictures have started#claiming they are vetted like ones with ai generated supposed irl photographs with so many fuck ups and water marks its not gunny#before you say im trying to claim hes a spam bot im not but seriously#ive gotten child gore like actual guts out child gore sent to my inbox by vetted accounts#like no i cant post your donations ask because it could get my whole account taken down you put gore in it#im native i get the plight but you cant be doing this#dont go harass this guy idk what his deal is and i dont care ive already blocked him#but seriously dont send gore dont send guilt triply stuff dont do any of it its why ive offically decided that no one is exempt anymore#from my no donations posts rule how can i trust vetters when copypaste stuff like this and gore get tossed around#i had one rule#in your ask state who vetter you so i could double check#ive deleted probably over a hundred copypaste donations requests because they couldnt state who vetted them#usually cause no one had even when they got suggested vetters to help#again i wanna be clear idk whose real or not and im not following that stupid conspiracy theory that they are all bots#or its a scam ring i dont believe that#i however absolutely believe that theres a bigger bot problem than people want to admit to#cause unless some of these victims are just copy pasting into thousands of inboxes all day every day#then its probably a bot and not one by a victim because bot campaigns cost astronomical amounts of money#like enough money to help them cross the border 6 times over#and if we follow Occam's razor well they arnt goong to waste thousands of dollars trying to buy bots to get more#they are just gonna feed themselves and escape#or give it to other loved ones who need to feed themselves and escape#or medical expenses but you get the jist they arent buying bots so if it read like a bot its probably not an actual victim#im sadly getting to the point where i only trust organizations#meant to help there
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More character designs need to give women facial hair it's so beautiful and so underutilized as a character design trait. Scruffy scrappy facial hair or just prominent sideburns or a full grown beard and everything inbetween it's all wonderful and more people should do it I think. Also more body hair in general. Put some arm and leg and belly and chest and back and bush hair on them. You should. You have to.
#drawing women with facial hair can be something that is so healing........#i grow a teeny tiny bit of facial hair but not enough. and alas the current hormones i take for medical reasons won't give me more :(#now if i can get my hands on the beautiful mix of both estrogen and testosterone for gender reasons and medical ones..... someday......#someday it will be impossible to tell whether I'm a very feminine man or an incredibly masculine woman (it's both ;] )#btw don't ask me if I'm 'actually a boy or actually a girl' I'm literally a faggot either way who cares#peace and love <3#<- sorry. have gotten annoying comments before lol
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the funniest part about 6x11 to me is that nora is played by sasha alexander - the same sasha alexander who would go on to play dr. maura isles (the pilot of rizzoli & isles aired 5 months later)
what would you call that, foreshadowing?
this era of proto-queerbait needs to be studied btw
#house md#rizzoli and isles#hilson#rizzles#also i think maura isles is technically an MD? it's been So long since i watched that show and i know the US doesn't require an MD#for like. coroners but she's Chief Medical Examiner which - i think that requires training in forensic pathology which is a medical#specialty like she would've had to get an MD for that#did a little queerbaity side quest before committing to a queerbaity main quest#rizzoli and isles has the bigger problem of being copaganda#i probably wouldn't actually call either of these shows intentional queerbait but yk. it's a bit funny
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You Stress Me Out
(4,135 words)
Gregory shows up at Evan's house during a storm with a wood carving knife stuck in his stomach. It may not be that bad of a wound, but that doesn't mean having a knife sticking out of you is any less scary. Or that Evan will freak out any less.
warnings: blood, mentions of a fistfight, an unsafe home environment, stitches, and of course, a blade being stuck inside flesh
Evans incredibly on edge right now. Which, nothing new here. But this time, it's less of his normal state and more of a genuine, rational kind of edge.
First off; a storm is on it's way. Not only does a storm mean that outside is a no-go, meaning that Evan is trapped inside his house with no way to leave, but hes absolutely terrified of thunder.
Which is why as soon as he'd heard about the bad weather, when his fathers back was turned and Michael had been focusing on something other than messing with him, he'd snuck to the kitchen, grabbed all the snacks and water he could need, and took them to his hidden stash in his bedroom.
This way, he didnt have to leave his room. And he could do his old trick of blocking the door leading from the shortest route to his room with his dresser, which could give him enough time to shut Michael out if he decides to persist on the other side.
Unlockable doors. The bane of Evan's existence.
The other reason hes on edge isnt because of himself, even though his body is locked up and sense, waiting for the thunder to start booming outside and send him flying off of his bed from how hard he flinches. Its because of Gregory.
Evan's brows furrow from his place on his bed, curtains drawn, but just open enough to see the rain start so he can brace himself. He takes one look at the gray clouds and white sky and frowns deeply.
Evan knows all about his friends... situation. Honestly, after being friends for almost a year, you'd think he would have known sooner, but nope. Evan had just been giving Gregory the benefit of the doubt too much. when Gregory'd refuse to let Evan go to his house, he'd assume he had parents like his, who he didnt want Gregory to have to see either, which was why he had been asking. When Gregory would have new bruises and cuts and rips in his clothing the next time Evan would see him, he would deliberately choose not to pry, or wonder, because he would think maybe it was worse than he thought.
But Evan had figured it out eventually, and he'd understood why Gregory kept it from him so long. Evan wouldnt want Gregory to see him differently for being a certain way.
But like Gregory, Evan had made it clear he didnt. He understands, really. Like he understands that with the knowledge comes the worry.
Evan knows Gregory doesnt always have stable shelter. The city and it's people arent so kind to homeless people like Gregory, even when hes outside and theres about to be a hurricane. Which is why Evan is hoping, wishing, praying that Gregory will come to Evan, this time.
It's why he's reading a book, sitting on his bed next to his window instead of on his phone like usual. Evan's on edge because he cant stop thinking about what would happen to Gregory if he didn't come, and if he does, will Evan hear him to let him in.
Evans room is on the ground floor, which makes it very easy for Gregory to come and go as he pleases (also for Evan to make an escape when he needs to. It's not rare for Evan to ditch his room to flee to the city with Cassidy, sometimes).
Evan's eyes trail over the words on the pages, but he isnt taking them in. He huffs, letting the book drop to his lap, and tries to ignore how cold-but-on-fire his stomach feels. He can't focus. Not when Gregory's supposed to trust Evan enough to come to him when he needs help and he hasnt yet.
Evan only waits a while longer, foot tapping on the side of his comforter and fingers drumming. When the first few thick drops of water land on his window, he goes for his phone.
Gregory said to never call him unless it's important. But right now, with how much Evan's stomach swims with nausea over uncertainty about Gregory's safety, Evan thinks this is important enough.
Evan only has enough time to enter his fifteen digit pin and tap the phone app before the sound hes been waiting for rings out by his window.
Evan can feel his shoulders drop when the familiar jingle of a Fazbear song is knocked on his window. He smiles, hurrying over to his window and almost ripping the curtains off the wall with how fast he opens them.
When Evan reaches to open the window, Gregory's there, if not a bit weary, if his half lidded eyes and the cut on his cheekbone are any indication, but Evan doesnt worry too much. Just unclicking the locks on his window and helping Gregory step inside when its apparent he needs help.
He has a hand clutching at his stomach, which is worrying, but Gregory looks like hes okay. Not about to die, which is what Evan's thoughts always end up going to, so he thinks that's a good thing.
Evan shuts the window and locks it just as the rain starts to drop harder, and he shuts the curtains, sending a glance at his door (the one not covered up with a dresser) out of paranoia. When his father doesnt burst in and send Gregory away like Evan's imagining, he turns his attention back to Gregory.
Hes huffing, like he cant catch his breath, which makes Evan furrow his brows. Gregory's bent over, like when you have a stomach cramp and try to curl in on yourself as much as possible. If Evan looks hard enough, he can see the inklings of bruises on Gregory's knuckles.
Evan frowns. Okay, probably a fight, but it wouldnt be the first time he would have to pull out the first aid kit.
"Gregory." Evan catches his attention. Gregory's eyes dart up to him, and he offers a shaky smile. "Hey. You had me worried sick."
"Me too." Gregory says, but it sounds strained. He still has that hand pressed firmly over a spot on his stomach, and when he looks pained, Evan guides him over to his bed, letting him sit down. "I know you don't like thunder and stuff. A-And you'd be stuck with Michael.
Evan crosses his arms, trying to look stern but coming off as incredibly worried instead. "Gregory. You're acting weird." He points out. "Listen, I know you're hurt. You know I've seen you get into fights before. Can you just tell me what's wrong?"
Gregory, suspiciously, looks away, focused on one of Evan's toys hes had since he was younger that he never bothered to put away. "Um. I-I dont think this is like those times, though."
Well. If Gregory can be this difficult, he cant be feeling too bad. Doesnt do anything for the anxiety digging a hole in Evan's stomach, though. "No matter what it is, you need help, okay? I wont judge. Just let me patch you up."
Gregory doesnt respond for a moment, then, "Promise not to freak out."
"What?"
"Promise not to wig out." Gregory meets his eyes, looking pained. "This is gonna make you freak. I know it. Just... try to stay calm. It's not that bad, I swear."
"Just show me already!" Evan presses, getting jittery from nerves. "You saying that is already making me freak out!"
"Okay! Jeez." Gregory huffs, and takes a deep breath. "Just dont look at it too hard."
"Gregory!" Evan yells.
"Okay, okay!" Gregory says placatingly. He doesnt say anything else, just takes his hand off of his stomach like ripping off a bandaid.
Evan's eyes blow wide, and his legs turn cold. "Oh my god."
"There it is." Gregory sighs.
"Gregory." Evan says, just above a whisper, because he cant manage anything louder at that moment. He stares at Gregory's stomach, feeling a pit in his own stomach when he cant tear his eyes away. "Gregory!"
"I told you you'd freak out." Gregory mutters, like he doesnt have a literal knife sticking out of his flesh.
"Why would I not freak out?!" Evan whisper yells, because wow he does not need his father or Michael to walk in right now. He gestures wildly, trying to put all of his emotions I into the single movement. "You have a knife in you!"
Despite what Gregory said not to do, Evan looks hard at it anyway. It isnt super deep; it's one of those really tiny pocket knives, like what you would use to carve wood with. He can still see some of the blade sticking out, which means the inch and a half long blade isnt plundged very deep.
"I know." Gregory says. "Can you help me get it out?"
Evan gapes. "Help you--" He giggles maniacally. "Gregory, if I pull it out, I'll have no clue how to make it so you wont bleed out."
"Well," Gregory glances away. "I cant really go to the hospital, and I cant just leave it in." He says. "You're my best bet. Besides, I promise it isnt that bad. It could have been way worse. I dont need a hospital."
Wow. No pressure, or anything. Evan implodes, shaking his hands out and doing laps around the room. "I'm gonna have to pull a knife out of you."
"Okay. Stay calm, remember?" Gregory repeats, and when Evan's facing Gregory's direction again after another lap, he can see him wincing. "Look, I know you're wigging out, but I really dont want this knife to me stuck inside me anymore."
"I would assume so!" Evan hisses, coming to a stop in the middle of his room and wringing his hands through his sweater sleeves. "Gregory--"
"Okay, listen." Gregory sounds strained, and Evan takes a moment to pause, worry taking ahold of his stomach like a giant hand and squeezing. "You have a phone, don't you? I need you to Google what to do, and pull this stupid knife out of my stomach."
Evan gets queasy just thinking about it. "Gregory."
"I know." He says. "But, look. I'm not gonna be awake much longer, since I pretty much ran from the city to here while I was bleeding, and the guy who attacked me had already beat me up a bit before stabbing me."
Evan's heart seizes at that. He returns to Gregory's side, sitting down with him. "But, isnt it not good if you're unconscious--"
"I dont know." He interrupts, eyes squeezed shut. "Look, I'm feeling kinda woozy, so I dont know how much longer I have left, but I'll try to stay awake."
Evan frowns. "You're acting like you're gonna die or something." He jokes, but his hand shake at the thought. "...Okay. Come here."
Gregory perks up, sitting up with great effort and putting an arm around Evan's neck when he gestures to. "We're doing this?"
"Yeah." Evan says shakily. He supports Gregory as he leads him lay down, pressed up against the wall, where if the door opened, hed be hidden behind it. Evan grabs a few of the towels he hides in his room to always have a clean one, -since he can never rely on laundry being done in his house-, and lays them under Gregory to soak up any blood. His father would kill Evan if he got the carpet stained with blood.
Evan grabs the first aid kit he always has hidden under his bed, and clicks it open, settling on his knees in front of Gregory's slack form on the floor with hovering hands as he glances at each of the kits contends uncertainly.
He grabs his phone, fingers trembling and pressing all the wrong buttons. Gregorys harsh breathing doesnt help.
"How did this even happen?" Evan asks as he desperately types in 'how to pull a wood carving knife out of your stomach at home' into the search bar. "Like-- I know you get into fights sometimes, but this?"
"Okay okay." Gregory coughs a bit. "Ill tell you. So, you know how it's about to storm?"
Evan glances at the crack through the curtains just enough to see the dark gray clouds swirling. "Yeah."
"So, I wasnt at my usual spot, but it was really close to starting to pour. And getting sick is like, the worst case scenario." Gregory says while Evan reads the random article he found at the speed of light. "So, I had to find some other place closer to where I was to wait out the storm, because I couldnt travel that far in the rain."
Evan pauses in reading, frowning and looking at Gregory's face. "You know you can always come here, right?"
Gregory frowns, looking away. "Yeah, but..." He trails off. "Its not fair to dump my problems on you like that."
Evan scoffs, breathing out a light chuckle. "Like you didnt dump your problems on me right now. And even then, I dont mind. I would much rather you come to me then be in pain somewhere else. Okay?"
Evan doesnt look at Gregory's face, too busy looking down at the article he has pulled up on his phone in his trembling hand, but he can tell hes smiling.
"Also, don't act like you don't make my problems your own, too. Im allowed to do the same as well, you know."
"Okay, okay." Gregory huffs. "I get it. I'll come to you right away next time. Happy?"
"Yes." Evan says, and he really is. Knowing that Gregory is sure to come to Evan when the weather gets bad, or something happens that makes the city unsafe, Evan will be able to sleep soundly knowing Gregory will either be safe with him, or he will be if need be. "You never finished telling me how you ended up with a pocket knife stuck in you, though."
"Right." Gregory chuckles. "So, I find this kind of hidden away spot, right? And I'm thinking I got really lucky, and set my stuff down. But then this other older kid shows up, and its obvious hes like me. But he gets really mad that I'm in his spot and starts yelling at me to get out."
"Jerk." Evan says, pulling the things he needs out of the first aid kit. "You should help eachother out, not fight. I'm sure he could have lended you some space."
"I'm sure you would have." Gregory chuckles. "But anyway, I'm packing up my stuff to leave, because this guy hurting me is a bigger concern than the weather at this point, and I dont want to mess with him."
Evan nods along, and goes to begin, but pauses when the first step is to take out the knife. Nausea curls in his gut, and he winces, glancing at Gregory.
"Hey." He cuts Gregory off in his story, and tries to look as apologetic as possible. "I, um. Have to take the knife out."
Gregory's eyes blow wide, and he frowns. "Oh."
Evan fidgets, having no idea how to make this better for Gregory. "Do you want me to count to three, or...?"
"Just do it." Gregory puts that steely exterior on. "I can handle it. Just do what you need to do."
Evan feels awful; this must suck for Gregory. Even if the knife is small and not very deep, having something sharp ripped out of your flesh cant be fun. "If you're sure."
He props himself on his knees, getting as close to Gregory as possible, and wraps a hand firmly around the small handle of the wood carving knife.
He can see it in Gregory's eyes. Neither of them want to do this.
"Keep telling your story." Evan says softly. Maybe itll distract Gregory from it, even a little bit. And Evan, as well. He can already feel bile working it's way up his throat at the thought.
Gregory nods minutely, jaw locked and tense. He breathes out a bit. "...Kay. So, I'm trying to tell him that I'll leave if he let's me get my stuff, but hes really impatient, and when I dont leave right away, he tries to scare me away faster by beating me."
Evan winces, pointedly twisting his neck away from the knife, as he tightens his grip, anticipation sending lightning through his veins. "That explains the bruises." He says shakily.
Gregory pauses, waiting for something that doesn't come. "...Yeah. He uh, he got me pretty good... but he didnt leave unscathed either. But, I think I got it worse."
"Definitely." Evan agrees ghastily, his stomach rolling when he feels the cold handle of the knife pressing idents in his skin. "Keep going."
Gregory gives him a look, but continues. "...So when I start fighting back, even though I'm smaller, he took that as a bad thing, apparently, and wanted me gone so he didnt get hurt. So what does he do?"
Evan doesn't respond, just squeezing his eyes shut, biting his tongue, and ripping off the bandaid.
Evan rips the knife out with a quick flick of his shoulder, and gags when it makes a fleeting metal-on-flesh sound as its removed. Gregory lurches lightly next to him, making a garbled, suprised sound, and when it's over, just lays flat on the floor.
"G-God." Gregory coughs, stuttering. "Okay, that wasnt that bad. I guess."
"I'm sorry." Evan frets, flinching and dropping the knife on the towel when some of Gregory's blood drips down his fingers. "I'm sorry, Gregory."
"You didnt do it." Gregory chuckles, his face white as a sheet. He brings up an arm to clutch at a spot just above the wound on his chest. "Jesus."
"I'll fix you up." Evan says softly, setting a hand on Gregory's own and taking it away just as quickly when he rushes to go wash his hands. "Okay? It might hurt, but you'll be okay. I'll make sure of it."
"...Kay." Is all Gregory says, and Evan rushes faster when he just let's his head fall against the floor.
When Evan comes back, he all but dives onto the floor, grabbing the things he layed out on the carpet and beginning. "Gregory, hey!"
"What?" Gregory asks, and Evan sinks in relief when hes still awake. He rolls up Gregory's shirt, inspecting the wound, and he finds it looks more like just a deep cut than anything. "I know you're trying to stay awake, but I'm probably gonna have to find a way to close this cut, so you might want to go ahead and go to sleep."
Gregory pales. "Like, stitches?"
"Probably." Evan shudders. A wave of sickness washes over his body when he realizes hes probably gonna have to find a needle and thread, and stitch Gregory's flesh closed, even if the cut is only an inch or so long. "Better safe than sorry. And I really dont think having a wood carving knife stabbed into you, even if it wasnt that deep, is okay to just put a bandaid over."
"...Alright." Gregory sighs, and his head rolls against the floor, his body relaxing. "I don't want to be awake for that."
"Me neither." Evan huffs, and Gregory breathes the air of a laugh through his nose. "But I think you'll be okay. Just sleep, and you'll be patched up when you wake up."
Gregory sighs a deep sigh, and Evan thinks it sounds like deep relief just settled. "Okay. Thank you, Evan."
"Of course." Evan replies, and when Gregory shuts his eyes and no doubt falls asleep pretty quick, Evan glances around his room, and realizes hes gonna have to go on a scavenger hunt for a needle and thread.
He sighs, hoping and wishing that he wont run into his father or Michael when he has to venture out of the safety of his room, but he relaxes at the moment, taking in a deep breath and reaching for some supplies.
First, he has to clean the wound.
🐻
When Gregory creaks his eyes open, it's not to Evan's carpeted floor like he had expected. Well, he is on the floor, he finds when he finally takes in his surroundings. But he isnt laying down completely. Some pillows and blankets have been posed and laid around him, like a nest, and Evan is sitting next to him in the middle, scrolling and watching something on his phone.
Gregory twists his neck and puts pressure in his arm, trying to prop himself up. He yawns, and Evan startles, taking out the crappy Walmart earbuds he'd bought. "Gregory!"
"Hi." Gregory groans, feeling the effects of his fistfight and intense sprint take hold, his body groaning and aching with soreness at his movement. He feels warm; which is something he wasnt expecting when he'd initially thought he'd spend the span of the storm outside in it. "Ugh."
Evan shuts his phone off lays it and his earbuds on the blanket, twisting his torso and shimmying in his spot laying against a pillow against the wall and legs covered with a throw blanket to face him. "You probably dont feel too good."
"Like crap." Gregory agrees. When he shifts again, back and head cushioned against two pillows without cases on them, he can feel the sore sort of throbbing pain of whatever stitches Evan had sewn in him. He wrinkles his nose at the thought, feeling guilty on Evan's behalf. "But... the stitches feel secure. I'm sorry you had to do that, it must have sucked really hard."
"It did." Evan shudders, but chuckles at the same time. "You know, I had to go in my Moms room to get the needle and thread and steal the pills from my Dad."
Gregory quirks a brow. "What pills?" He asks at the same time Evan hands him a small bottle of Advil. "Oh."
Evan hands him some snacks, too. A water bottle and some crackers. He smiles softly and takes them, taking two Advil with a swig of the water bottle. "You did all that for me?" Gregory asks, voice small. "...I know you hate your Dad, and your parents would get mad at you if they saw you snooping."
"I know." Evan says, fidgeting with one of the blankets and laying his head on the pillow propped against the wall. "But I wanted you to feel better more than I was scared of my parents."
Theres a short stretch of silence after that, only the harsh rain and wind against the house being heard. Gregory stays silent, turning over Evan's words in his head.
His eyes burn slightly, but he pushes it down with precise practice. "Thank you" Is all he can find in him to say. Theres too many feelings, too many emotions he has to put them into words.
But Evan knows him, and Gregory knows he understands when he nods, and smiles that small, kind smile that just screams 'and I'd do it again'. "Of course." Evan insists, and looks away for a moment. "I want you to trust me, okay? I want to show you that if you come to me because you need help, I'll be here, and I wont discount you, or-- or shrug you off."
Gregory doesn't smile, but he feels warmth spread through his chest at that. Gregory knows Evan, so he knows exactly why he would want Gregory to feel that way. He knows exactly why Evan holds himself to that, even though Gregorys confident a lot of it has to do with just the kindness in Evan's own heart.
"I-I know." Gregory whispers. "I came here because I do trust you. I came here because I know that."
It's really hard for Gregory to say that, and he knows Evan understands, because he doesnt comment, just nods, relief sagging his shoulders.
Theres a short burst of silence for a moment, the two of them just soaking up the atmosphere of being warm and comfortable, despite the circumstances.
"You're staying here, by the way." Evan's voice rips him out of his thoughts suddenly, and Gregory snaps to attention to see Evan looking at him sternly, but worriedly. "I know you're gonna try to say something stupid about how you're fine to go back into the rain. You arent going anywhere near the city, alright? I don't care if the storm lasts a week. I'll find a way to hide you so Michael or my father dont find you, okay?"
Gregory snorts at Evan's intense voice, but his heart bursts all the same. "Okay, Evan. I promise."
"Good." Evan sounds appeased. He twists his body, reaching for something, and grabs his phone, putting one earbud in and giving Gregory the other. He opens YouTube, handing the phone to Gregory. "You can pick. Honor of the patient."
Gregory grins, giggling. "Thanks, Doctor Evan."
ao3 link
#it was less that the wound was actually bad#and more that theyre 13 and the wound in question is technically a stab wound and that sounds super bad on paper#so theyre seeing it worse than it may be because its scary#lso having something stabbed in you that isnt supposed to be there#will make you woozy and almost pass out so that just adds to the scary factor for them#i hope some of the details i put in hammered in how uncomfortable evan is in his own home. but since becoming friends with gregory#(lets say a year so theyre both 13 here)#hes grown a bit more of a backbone alongside just getting older#so hes actually doing things that might get him in trouble#like hiding food and towels in his room and blocking the door with furniture#when before he would be too scared to do any of that and just let the torment happen#written with medical inaccuracies (probably) tagged#pandas writes#oneshot#ficlet#flashlight duo#gregory and evan#the aftons#evan#gregory#fnaf gregory#evan afton#flashlight duo modern au#au#blood warning#stabbing mention#blood and injury#mention of child neglect#vomit mention#flashlight duo oneshots
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NEW DOCTOR BERATED MY MOM FOR DOWNPLAYING A SERIOUS LIFELONG MEDICAL CONDITION & TOLD HER I NEED A CT SCAN
#i've NEVER had a doctor tell me ''that isn't normal & could be serious & we'll look into it asap''#but the fact my mom was ALSO there & faced CONSEQUENCES#this doctor is a bit weird about ADHD but she DID listen to me & act weirded out by my mom's ''don't make a scene'' mentality around illnes#''so you're telling me you were IN a hospital when she had a SEIZURE & you did NOTHING???'' so poggies#my mom: well i just didn't want to cause a scene#this doctor: that's fucking weird. that's not normal. that's really bad actually#my mom: *surprised pikachu face*#i wish i had someone else to bring with me to help but like. i don't#unfortunately it's just her. my sister's enabler#had to explain to the doctor that no i don't have celiac i can eat gluten & stuff super fine. my hands are just dry cuz it's winter#& she was immediately like yeah checks out#insane. never had a doctor listen to me before#maybe i should get a support dog instead. maybe that would help#would be nice to have someone NOT getting medical advice from someone who WANTS me to have their illnesses out of spite#like unless i have asymptomatic celiac disease then idk what the fuck to tell you other than shut the fuck up about celiac#my gluten intake has nothing to do with my dry hands
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do follow an uploading schedule, if not do you plan to? I keep checking my Tumblr everyday hoping there is a new page and the notification just didn't go through, so i was basically wondering if there is a certain time span i can expect to be between the new pages and the previous ones?
I was uploading on Fridays but I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus to focus on irl for a bit, I plan to upload the end of the prologue this weekend with a week break before starting chapter 1 and posting as normal.
#had to abruptly get some medical/mental/school stuff sorted out#taking a week before chapter 1 so i can build a bit of backlog#hope to be back on schedule soon#ask#anon
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Finally, for the first time in my entire life, my brain has shut the fuck up
Thank someone's god
#adhd#twotalesmentalhealth#medicated#it's so quiet#couldn't sleep though so I hope that goes away when I get used to it#despite not sleeping I wasn’t flustered at all this morning even when our kid didn't want to go to school#even when P was running late and I had to drop him off before taking O to daycare as opposed to the other way around#yeah took that hiccup to our routine like a fucking champ when normally I'd be a bit overwhelmed#and knowing I have ocd is helping just going “oh those thoughts are just my ocd” really helps - its not me me its my ocd
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Shout out to the updates they made to the Elf character creator yesterday, we are seeing wild improvement from honestly some very small additions. Rapidly crossing the line into Update I am Basically Pleased With territory.
#lotro#tragically this hairstyle clips with her old armor#which was the waking wood set#maybe i will see if i can find a helmet to go with it#or maybe i will switch to this which is the mirkwood patrons set#its a bit shiny but idk how it dyes#anyhow. still not possible to completely get rid of the dips behind the cheekbones#but fairly easy to get into 'normal human person' range#(before anyone jumps all over me for this yes i know elves arent human but a) players are. so. like. yeah.)#(go ahead and throw in alien features if you want but dont make them look like a serious medical issue that many humans have)#(and b) tolkien elves are more human than other elves)#(being as they are the older siblings of the human race. and not some totally unrelated thing)#anyway. excited to see the new hairstyles when they release them
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*writes the same exact headcannons in slightly different scenarios over and over again*
#it all comes back to my unicron-spawn Starscream and my quintesson-built Jazz#today I worked a little on us Starscream and qb Jazz becoming friends and getting a absurdly similar dynamic to how I write Prowl and Jazz#but I stopped that to work on a memory loss fic w that Jazz fighting his way from autobots to Starscream bc he was the only one who he#trusted with a complete memory back up as another not-cybertronian#and I stopped THAT to work on a qb Jazz/Prowl fic where it's non-essential no pain killer surgery that Prowl has to do on Hazx bc he refuses#to go to medics. partially bc the surgery is completely unsafe in any firm and partly bc qb Jazz doesn't want anyone else to know what he is#(and Prowl barely knows either)#but I only got a few sentences into that b4 I went to do an Autobot!DJD (AJD?) torture scene w qb Jazz where the nameless character to die#manages to tear open his chest while fighting back and finds nothing inside#BUT that's rlly similar 2 a fic where I've done the same thing w Starscream (the chest discovery in a scuffle bit) so I reread that before#I got distracted thinking abt my Starop fic that's all Starscream doesn't have a spark because he's a ghost Optimus Prime doesn't have a#spark because he's a lab experiment gone rogue. Misunderstandings ensue. which I adore but have no idea how to fit a plot into#so bc I couldn't think of anything more than a few sentences for that I went to my fic where ALL of the command trine formed from Unicron#but Skywarp and Thundercracker died early and Starscream spends millions of years searching all of cybertron and hoping Vector Sigma#reincarnation works for unicronians too. biiiig depression angst fic. I can't decide if I want it to end in Starscream self-inducing stasis#in one of Vector Sigma's chambers or whether I want it to end w Starscream brutally murdering the new trine member the reincarnated versions#of Skywarp and Thundercracker were made with (who ftr would be Sun Storm)#n that fic reminded me of that one rewritting of the Starscream's Ghost ep where Starscream catches a glimpse of Scourge and immediately#attacks. it's barely a fight because in seconds SS is ripping through layers of armor desperately searching for Thundercracker beneath the#shell Unicron gave him. He needs Thundercracker to be there (he isn't). Only when his claws have gone completely thru Scourge's back does he#round on the armada- only to completely ignore Cyclonus and go for one of his clones (Skywarp)#and that reminded me of- *gunshots*#do u see why I only ever manage to post ponies?? I have less ideas w them so I actually finish.#I'm worried of hitting tag limit but I have plenty more of even less fleshed out fics for us Starscream and qb Jazz#(I barely said half of what's in my writing docs)
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