#for SURE

[niinnyu]

Well, at least it isn't false advertising..?

[cleverreports]

We report while the clouds keep gathering: the light is wavering, but making stubborn attempts to reach down. The cloud cover has been present throughout the day, but there is no longing for warmth. The sun is coming through, no matter what, and it demands our wakefulness.

[street-of-mercy]

Opening Tumblr on March 15th

[calebverse]

guys..... thank you for reading this wtf thank you for giving me a space to be self-indulging but also taking a part of said act of indulging.........

(AIN'T NOBODY GONNA) TOUCH IT

synopsis: you get a free hands-on lesson from your jiejie.

cw: fem!caleb, guided masturbation, both characters are of age, use of jiejie/meimei, the yurification of love and deepspace, pwp, praise kink, petnames || 2.1k words

notes: this is for #ladsyuriweek on twt! i am an avid content consumer until the voices screamed at me to at least write one work. so i took the prompt for day 2 which was ‘first time.’ so here is me helping spread out the jiejie fem!caleb agenda! i used the name caley to refer to fem!caleb (i lowkey suck at giving names so uhm apologies) this ended up longer than i anticipated ERMMM

you were curious. 

you've heard about it from peers your age, scrolled past it on the internet a few times. and when there's something new, something you had no idea about, you just had to know, even if curiosity does kill the cat. there is no stopping you until you find your own answers, your satisfied conclusions. 

and what do you do when there’s something bugging you? you ask your ever dependable jiejie, caley. 

you've always thought she was the most knowledgeable person in the world, and for good reason. whether it was regarding a repair around the house, your never ending amount of homework, or an opinion in fashion and makeup, she had answers you were looking for, advice you needed to hear, solutions that actually worked. no matter how absurd or difficult the inquiry running through your mind, caley has what you need. she won't judge; she will help. 

never was there a day that passed by without you loudly exclaiming 'jiejie jiejie jiejieee!', seeking for her. you can always count on caley to drop anything she was doing to come for your aid. 

"whenever you have a question or something you don't know, always come to jiejie first." she would tell you with an affectionate poke at your nose. 

and you did just so. 

and that was how you found yourself laying your back against her chest. your shirt was bunched up above your breasts sans your bra. your legs were spread across the bed as caley's warm and smooth hands held you under your knees. your panties dangled away at the edge of the bed, the air meeting your pussy in display. your hand moved between your legs, giving yourself experimental touches. 

"thaaat’s it, pipsqueak," she whispered into your ear. "you're getting the hang of it, keep going."

you grew flustered at caley's words as she spread your legs further apart. her hands stroked the inside of your thighs, long fingers squeezing your skin in encouragement.

"vary the pressure of your touches," she instructed, planting a kiss to the crown of your hair. "find out what feels good, what makes you tick. show your pretty pussy a lot of love, yeah? give her your attention."

if you were being honest, when you came into caley's room late that night, asking her how to touch yourself, a small part of you expected to be met with rejection or maybe endless teasing and jokes. but she did none of that – she only offered a warmed smile, cupped your cheeks, and thanked you for coming to her instead of anyone else. then, instead of verbal descriptions, she offered to guide you as you do it yourself. caley claimed that was the best way to learn. 

but now you're growing frustrated. it was supposed to feel good, right? you were supposed to be moaning and sighing, just like the stories you've heard and the obscene clips you've seen. but why isn't it working? what were you doing wrong?

"jiejie," you huffed. "i don't think i'm doing it right."

"baby, there's no correct way to touch yourself." she chuckled. "you have to find out only what works for you."

"but i don't know!" you whined with a pout. you turned your head to meet caley's eyes. "can you show me? just touch me where i should. i'll follow along."

caley's eyes widened, her pupils almost taking over the color in them. her heart thumped hard against her ribcage that she was sure you could feel it. there was no way she could resist you. not when she had dreamed of this too. 

"okay." she whispered. "i'll show you. but you have to learn alright? this is for your benefit."

you nodded. "i'll pay attention. teach me, jiejie."

now, how can caley say no to that?

with a kiss to your temple, she moved her hands from your thighs, to your exposed stomach, and up to your breasts. 

"when you touch yourself," she began, leaning her cheek against your hair. "you can get yourself into a mood so it will feel better. think about something that you like, something that turns you on."

"but i don't know..."

"you'll find it out along the way, pipsqueak. only a matter of time." she smiled reassuringly. "you don't just go straight to your pussy. you can do other things. like this—"

you watched as she spread feather light touches to your chest. her finger circled around your nipple until it stood upright, reacting to the contact. and when she squeezed you, you let out an involuntary moan. taken aback, your hands went up to your mouth. 

"no, no," she tsked. "don't cover your mouth, don't hold back. it helps. lets you know what makes you feel good, what makes you wet. which is what you need, yeah? don’t be embarrassed, let it all out meimei.”

you nodded in understanding and arched your back wordlessly, encouraging caley to go back to touching you. she didn’t have to be told twice – she played with your tits until you were putty in her hands, reduced into a breathy moaning mess. a particular squeeze had you clenching your fists into the sheets of her bed.

“i like that,” you whispered to her. 

“which one, baby? this?” she asked with a small smirk as she did it again, eliciting the same reaction from you. “feels good?”

“mhm.”

“you try it too.” she said, grabbing your hands. she places them where her fingers were. and with her hands on top of yours, she fondled you again, guiding your hands to do the same squeezes and pinches she sampled to you.

“caley.”

“yes, meimei?”

“i’m wet, i can feel it.” you muttered with warmth in your cheeks. “that’s good right?”

she smiled softly. “it is, baby. you are doing so well. that means playing with your cute tits got you going. now, let me guide your hands on how to touch yourself down your pussy. will you let jiejie show you? let me guide you?”

your nod was a little more enthusiastic than she expected, which made her chuckle. caley took your hand and slid it over your wet core. 

she groaned. “oh baby, you’re so messy down here.”

“don’t look too much.” you whined embarrassingly, unable to handle her heated gaze. 

“no, no, let jiejie see. need to help you know how to make yourself feel good. i want to guide you, i want to help you learn.” she kissed your shoulder as she grasped your hands, taking both your middle and ring finger together and ran a hand through your slit. “eyes on your fingers, okay meimei? yours, not mine.”

but that proved to be difficult, as two sets of fingers dipped into the slick that settled on your sensitive skin. that was your slick on your jiejie’s pretty, long, slender fingers. the sight had you unconsciously clench around nothing. you couldn’t seem to look away. 

“now this,” caley guided you under the hood of your pussy, giving it a small rub. “is what i like to call a special little button. this is your clit, baby.”

as if on cue, the touch made you jump, every vein in your body lighting up. “w-wha–”

“feels real good, right? let’s draw circles around it, yeah? then tell me how it feels.”

you bit your bottom lip as you felt your pussy preened with the attention. a fresh gush of slick came out of you, and caley helped you gather it to the pads of your finger to help you smoothly around your swollen bud. 

“words baby.” she reminded. “how are you holding up?”

“feels good.” you replied to her with a dreamy sigh.

“oh, i bet. you look so hot, touching yourself like that baby. wanna try putting a finger in?”

you turned to her with curious eyes. “will it hurt?”

“not if you do it slowly. besides, you’re all wet and messy, it’ll slide in quite easily.” she dropped your hand and placed her palms on the inside of your thighs. “try it whenever you're ready, meimei.”

“okay,” you whispered. you covered your middle finger in your slick and hesitantly slid it inside you. it was awkward, clumsy, and full of uncertainty. it didn't feel particularly bad but it definitely wasn't good either. your finger was just… there. 

nonetheless, when your finger disappeared into your heat, caley groaned at the sight and cooed into your ear, whispering sweet praises that went straight to your cunt. “oh meimei, you’re such a good girl.” you beamed at her praises, the rush of pleasing her fills your head. yes, she was helping you out, but you might as well do perfectly to help her at least enjoy this. 

“wish it was your fingers instead, jiejie.” you mumbled as you experimented moving your finger around. you let out a pitiful cry. “i don’t know how to make myself feel good.”

she shushed you, smoothing out the hair that stuck to your face due to the sheer amount of sweat. “baby, how will you learn if i’m the one who touches you? besides, you haven’t even moved it much. probe around, and you’ll find the spots that feel good for you. try for me? give me a little show?”

you whined, and attempted as she instructed. but nothing was working, nothing felt good. 

caley shook her head at your poor attempts. she placed her hand at the back of your palm. “pathetic meimei, can’t even please herself, always needs me to do things for her.”

you took a sharp breath in when you felt her fingers slide in with the one already inside of you. your walls spasmed at the intrusion, adjusting to the foreign feeling. caley’s fingers were longer and moved with more confidence than yours. you felt so full, and the sensation making you moan. 

“focus pipsqueak.” caley said, firm but affectionate. “follow along my fingers, okay?” you nodded, simply satisfied at the feeling of her inside you. with care and precision, she started massaging your insides. “uh-uh, i said focus, don’t close your eyes.”

you moaned sweetly, moving your hips along caley’s thrusts. with the pad of your finger next to hers, she guided you to press a spongy spot around your walls. the stimulation made you clench around the fingers inside of you. you began to relax and give in to her actions. “jiejie, jiejie– ah! it feels so good. please please please.”

“i can feel you not moving your finger, honey. you can’t stop, you have to rub yourself from the inside.”

“but it feels better when you do it! can’t you just do it, please?”

“i thought you wanted to learn how to please yourself?”

“i am learning! i promise i will learn. just please, please touch me jiejie.”

“bad student.” she shook her head, but her eyes lit up in mischievousness. “you have to finish by yourself baby. now go along with my fingers inside you, okay?”

you grumbled under your breath about how mean she was being but followed along anyway. you felt her take your free hand and guide it back to your clit. with the combination of rubbing circles at your exposed hood and the fingers inside of you, even if it was mostly her doing the work, you lost yourself into the pleasure, head resting against caley’s shoulder as you tried catching your breath.

“there, caley! ah, it feels so good there.” you can feel her press down stronger, harder in a steady rhythm that makes your knees turn into jelly. the sensation reminds you of a climb of a staircase, each step heavier, louder, faster than the last. your heart was beating out of your chest, blood rushing to your ears, eyes rolling back as your hips stuttered in their movement. you mewled, feeling your chest burn with every breath you took and your legs shook in anticipation. was this it? was this the climax you kept hearing about? 

you twitched and turned, overwhelmed by the way you were reacting under caley’s touch. you became limp against her chest, chants of her name falling from your lips. 

you can practically taste it in your teeth. you were so close. just a few more pumps, a few more rubs, just one final push to finally fall into it and–

caley stopped moving. 

she withdrew her touch from you, settling them once more under your knees. 

you blinked up, confused and frustrated. “jiejie, why–”

“meimei,” she said with a grin that flipped your insides. she kissed both your cheeks and winked. “if you wanna come, you have to work for it.”

[antlerclxws]

[untangling-my-headphones]

the face of a boy being so totally normal about his platonic bro best mate confessing his undying romantic love for him on the stairs of hell not a few hours prior

he is seconds away from kicking his feet and twirling his hair I'm so serious

[mosdrash]

Found a new hobby/therapy: draw the various funny moments of the cast in Ithaca as their characters 🤭

[ihopeicanchangethislater05]

definitely a house thing to do

[sunderwight]

Shen Yuan who glitches in his transmigration, but the original Shen Qingqiu still dies of a qi deviation.

So the System still needs someone with narrative relevance to throw Luo Binghe into the Abyss. In a fit of desperation, it contrives circumstances after Shen Qingqiu's death to move Luo Binghe to An Ding Peak (not that difficult), and then the System makes Shang Qinghua be Luo Binghe's new scum master who casts him down.

Airplane's thrilled, really. Cultivators aren't supposed to get ulcers but damned if he doesn't come close to one anyway. Between Shen Qingqiu and then just a while later Liu Qingge both dying from qi deviations, and Shang Qinghua looking like a stiff breeze could take him out any day now, poor Mu Qingfang is also just about at his wits' end.

But it's not all bad news! On An Ding Peak, Luo Binghe actually finds himself surrounded by the kinds of people who are accustomed to being bullied by the rest of the sect. So they're pretty sympathetic to him, and it's easier for someone with basic laboring skills to advance on that peak too. His chores don't decrease too much, but he actually gets rewarded for doing them well, and no one tries to kick him out of the dorms or anything. Shang Qinghua doesn't either go out of his way to bully or praise Luo Binghe, correctly reasoning that his best shot at not getting a gruesome death is to just be a more forgettable bad guy than an abusive dirtbag or a heart-wrenching betrayal. He doesn't sabotage Luo Binghe's cultivation (no point, and it would just farm resentment later) but he also doesn't go out of his way to help him improve (not gonna arm his inevitable maybe-probably-murderer with better weapons!), so Luo Binghe's situation sees an overall improvement but not the zero-to-hero treatment he'd have got with Shen Yuan either.

When Shang Qinghua shoves Luo Binghe into the Abyss (he just full on picks him up and tosses him like a sack of beans, better to rip it off quick like a bandage), LBH is upset, but he's not especially surprised or dismayed about Shang Qinghua's part in it. Later on he'll be kind of confused, because he just assumed that of course the righteous sect cultivator would abhor the demon, but it turns out Shang Qinghua has been working for a demon since before Luo Binghe even came to the sect? But then it still kind of makes sense because a Heavenly Demon would definitely pose a risk to Mobei Jun and to Mobei Jun's rule. Shang Qinghua, he supposes, is just really loyal to his specific demon.

Luo Binghe's subsequent revenge quest is also somewhat mitigated by the Abyss actually not being that bad.

The Abyss is not actually that bad thanks to the glitched out Shen Yuan having been camping there for several years now.

So when Shen Yuan's transmigration failed it failed because he "woke up" during the process, realized where the System intended to put him, was like no way in goddamn hell am I being that guy about it, and actually kind of won the ensuing tug-of-war. The System couldn't put him in Shen Qingqiu but Shen Yuan didn't want to go back to his dead body either, so he ended up stuck in the nearest available space for lost interdimensional beings. Which was the Endless Abyss.

Luckily Shen Yuan's quasi-transmigrated imparted an equivalent cultivation level as Shen Jiu's to him, and the glitch made him able to sense and manipulate certain extra-dimensional energies, so he manifested as this weird godlike being able to manipulate and control aspects of the Abyss. So he set about transforming Airplane's Torment Nexus into a viable ecosystem (the current version would not be anything approaching sustainable were it not for divine/narrative intervention, and is constantly on the verge of destabilizing into unlivable ruin that would only be fit for some particularly hardy microorganisms).

It's still like, a monster land full of demonic creatures and terrifying phenomenon, but with Shen Yuan's assistance it becomes something more like a demonic wildlife reserve than a dimensional horror plane. Though it is still a dimensional horror plane, and Shen Yuan is its chief dimensional horror. He treats it sort of like those dungeon building or wildlife park sims, figuring out how to keep everything in balance while still preserving all the interesting parts. A lot of the extreme survival issues of the Abyss are more of a result of it being environmentally unstable than a result of its actual denizens, and once he smooths out a lot of the messy dimensional edges and creates stable vents for the fluctuating energy run-off, the demonic inhabits start behaving less like horror movie monsters and more like animals. They're still wild and dangerous and prone to killing one another, but also more cautious, and able to access enough stable resources that they can even start to be picky about what they pursue.

Turns out that a lot of creatures in the Abyss actually don't like fighting and dying and being brutally injured on a regular basis, even if they can heal from it!

Shen Yuan has even discovered that some like chin scritches (he's not terribly worried about habituating them to people, given how rarely any people actually access the Abyss, but also because he's not really all that people-ish himself these days).

This means that one of Luo Binghe's first encounters with the horrible creatures of the Abyss, is in fact a pack of wolf-like monsters thoroughly avoiding an actual fight with him. In fact most of the denizens of the Abyss just avoid him. They can smell the Heavenly Demon energy rolling off of him, and given the current abundance of alternatives to dealing with that, virtually none of the monsters actually choose to challenge him. There are still a few that will go after anything that's bleeding, but that problem stops once Luo Binghe's physiology heals his wounds, which takes like... a couple hours, max.

Despite the stories he's heard, Luo Binghe is relieved to find that the Abyss is not quite so terrible as all that. Normal survival skills suffice for seeing him through much of it. He's able to hunt for food, scavenge for tools, and even finds potable water fairly easily. After a few weeks, he also comes across a ruin which seems to be inhabited.

The being inhabiting it is plainly a god, although he demurs and refutes such assertions whenever Binghe is too frank. He's a strange being, at turns looking like some queer approximation of a human, at other times blinking and winking in and out of existence, in patterns of strange lights and oddly geometrical fire. But he's surprisingly not hostile, letting Binghe rest in his residence, and even directing him towards points of interest. Accompanying him, too, though he seems to think that Binghe doesn't notice the odd almost spiderweb-like patterns that appear on things which he's influencing. The god calls himself The Peerless One, or at least that's what Luo Binghe infers from some writings on the ruin. The Peerless One offers instruction, seemingly without thinking about it, and gets flustered at being addressed by title, so Binghe also begins to refer to him as Shizun after a while.

[yayee-pspsps]

X

[fervi-g]

One Week (1920) dir. Buster Keaton, Edward F. Cline

[mizgnomer]

David Tennant's red carpet/1st outfit as the host of the EE BAFTA Film Awards 2025

[killeroos]

when other people complain about biased refereeing it's because they're sore losers but when i do it it's because i'm right

[canisalbus]

Young Machete, a sickly little Fiat Balilla, prone to engine knocking, surprisingly grew into a fast and powerful Alfa Romeo 6C 2300.

.

[aniimoni]

Here, hold this Apulei and Narinder before I die again

they’re happy or whatever