#for Clive Barker's birthday

[ethanmaldridge]

Christopher Carrion, the Lord Midnight

[dark-ethereal-visions]

Happy Birthday - Clive Barker

Clive Barker (71) - Born on October 5, 1952

[yourverybestghoulfriend]

Wishing a very Happy Birthday to Clive Barker today!

(October 5, 1952)

[irrevasazim]

Celebrity Birthday Cards 🔮 Directors of Death Edition pt.1 ✨

They envision our grisly doom, we envision their joyous birth - celebrate the birthdays of the horror genre's most acclaimed directors with their birth decan cards! Music provided by Myuu‬ Come join your friendly neighborhood Satanist for a tarot reading LIVE on Twitch evenings 7PM-11PM EST

[book--brackets]

Fledgling by Octavia E. Butler (2005)

This is the story of an apparently young, amnesiac girl whose alarmingly unhuman needs and abilities lead her to a startling conclusion: She is in fact a genetically modified, 53-year-old vampire. Forced to discover what she can about her stolen former life, she must at the same time learn who wanted-and still wants-to destroy her and those she cares for and how she can save herself.

Weaveworld by Clive Barker (1987)

The Fugue, a magical land inhabited by descendants of supernatural beings who once shared the earth with humans. The Fugue has been woven into a carpet for protection against those who would destroy it; the death of its guardian occasions a battle between good and particularly repulsive evil forces for control of the Fugue.

Fractured Fables by Alix E. Harrow (2021-2022)

It's Zinnia Gray's twenty-first birthday, which is extra-special because it's the last birthday she'll ever have. When she was young, an industrial accident left Zinnia with a rare condition. Not much is known about her illness, just that no-one has lived past twenty-one.

Her best friend Charm is intent on making Zinnia's last birthday special with a full sleeping beauty experience, complete with a tower and a spinning wheel. But when Zinnia pricks her finger, something strange and unexpected happens, and she finds herself falling through worlds, with another sleeping beauty, just as desperate to escape her fate.

Midnighters by Scott Westerfeld (2004-2006)

A few nights after Jessica Day arrives in Bixby, Oklahoma, she wakes up at midnight to find the entire world frozen. For one secret hour each night, the town belongs to the dark creatures that haunt the shadows. And only a small group of people--Jessica included--is free to move about then. They are The Midnighters.

Pet by Akwaeke Emezi (2019)

There are no monsters anymore, or so the children in the city of Lucille are taught. Jam and her best friend, Redemption, have grown up with this lesson all their life. But when Jam meets Pet, a creature made of horns and colors and claws, who emerges from one of her mother’s paintings and a drop of Jam’s blood, she must reconsider what she’s been told. Pet has come to hunt a monster—and the shadow of something grim lurks in Redemption’s house. Jam must fight not only to protect her best friend, but also uncover the truth, and the answer to the question—How do you save the world from monsters if no one will admit they exist?

The Book of the New Sun by Gene Wolfe (1980-1987)

It is the tale of young Severian, an apprentice in the Guild of Torturers on the world called Urth, exiled for committing the ultimate sin of his profession - showing mercy toward his victim - and follows his subsequent journey out of his home city of Nessus.

The Supernaturalist by Eoin Colfer (2004)

In the future, in a place called Satelite City, fourteen-year-old Cosmo Hill enters the world, unwanted by his parents. He's sent to the Clarissa Frayne Institute for Parentally Challenged Boys, Freight class. At Clarissa Frayne, the boys are put to work by the state, testing highly dangerous products. At the end of most days, they are covered with burns, bruises, and sores. Cosmo realizes that if he doesn't escape, he will die at this so-called orphanage. When the moment finally comes, Cosmo seizes his chance and breaks out with the help of the Supernaturalists, a motley crew of kids who all have the same special ability as Cosmo-they can see supernatural Parasites, creatures that feed on the life force of humans. The Supernaturalists patrol the city at night, hunting the Parasites in hopes of saving what's left of humanity in Satellite City. Or so they think. The Supernaturalist soon find themselves caught in a web far more complicated than they'd imagined, when they discover a horrifying secret that will force them to question everything they believe in.

Dragon Slippers by Jessica Day George (2006-2009)

Poor Creel. She can't believe her aunt wants to sacrifice her to the local dragon. It's a ploy to lure a heroic knight so that he will fight the dragon, marry Creel out of chivalrous obligation, and lift the entire family out of poverty. Creel isn't worried. After all, nobody has seen a dragon in centuries.

But when the beast actually appears, Creel not only bargains with him for her life, she also ends up with a rare bit of treasure from his hoard, not gold or jewels, but a pair of simple blue slippers-or so she thinks. It's not until later that Creel learns a shocking truth: She possesses not just any pair of shoes, but ones that could be used to save her kingdom, which is on the verge of war, or destroy it.

Lost Boy: The True Story of Captain Hook by Christina Henry (2017)

There is one version of my story that everyone knows. And then there is the truth. This is how it happened. How I went from being Peter Pan's first--and favorite--lost boy to his greatest enemy. 

Peter brought me to his island because there were no rules and no grownups to make us mind. He brought boys from the Other Place to join in the fun, but Peter's idea of fun is sharper than a pirate's sword. Because it's never been all fun and games on the island. Our neighbors are pirates and monsters. Our toys are knife and stick and rock--the kinds of playthings that bite. 

Peter promised we would all be young and happy forever. Peter lies.

The Elric Saga by Michael Moorcock (1965-1977)

It is the color of a bleached skull, his flesh; and the long hair that flows below his shoulders is milk-white. From the tapering, beautiful head stare two slanting eyes, crimson and moody... He is Elric, Emperor of Melnibone, cursed with a keen and cynical intelligence, schooled in the art of sorcery and the hero of Michael Moorcock's remarkable epic of conflict and adventure at the dawn of human history. 

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Belated birthday

Stephen King: happy birthday clive!!! King: we all got together and- Clive Barker: my birthday was yesterday King: King: what

King: your birthday was yesterday? Barker: yes King: King: oh ha ha ha King: i get it! King: he's fucking with us! King: you're fucking with us right?

King: well jeez i feel really terrible about this Barker: that's ok steve Barker: i don't blame you Barker: i only blame one person Barker: one very lazy, stupid person Barker: a person who was too busy doing online furry dick inflation RP to remember Barker: [stares at camera]

King: we got you a cake and everything Barker: what kind of cake? King: vulcanized rubber Barker: oh man, my favorite! 

King: so we were asking ourselves King: what would be the best birthday present for clive? King: and we decided King: what if we just let clive stir the shit King: any shit that he wants King: and edgar won't say a thing? Barker: oh my god guys really?? Poe: i didn't agree to this

Barker: well the first thing i'd say is Barker: Barker: well shit now i have choice paralysis

[horrororman]

🎃💀🎂 A Happy #horror Birthday to Clive Barker & Ti West 🎂💀🎃

#CliveBarker

#TiWest

[scotianostra]

Happy birthday Scottish actor Hugh Ross.

Ross was born in Glasgow on 28th April 1945, where his parents were both doctors. He was educated at The Glasgow Academy. Hugh continued his education at St. Andrew's University for two years, where he became interested in drama, dropped out of his course, and, after working as a teacher, enrolled at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts.

Hugh has a long and distinguished career in theatre, film, radio and television.

TV credits include The Team with Lars Mikkelsen, An Honourable Woman, Poirot, Absolutely Fabulous, Midsomer Murders, The Palace, and notably as Major Mungo Munro in Sharpe’s Gold, Sharpe’s Battle and Sharpe’s Sword.

Outlander fans will know him as Arch Bug,, he was a recurring character in the popular series.

Hugh’s films include Clive Barker’s Nightbreed, Patriot Games (with Harrison Ford), Trainspotting, Charlotte Gray (with Cate Blanchett), Before You Go (with Tom Wilkinson and Julie Walters), The Four Feathers (with Heath Ledger), and most recently The Iron Lady and Sunset Song.

Recent theatre productions include Twelfth Night for English Touring Theatre, Macbeth with James McAvoy, Hamlet with John Simm, 5/11 at Chichester, Pyrenees for Paine’s Plough at the Menier Chocolate Factory, Pinter’s The New World Order at the Brighton Festival, Waste at the Almeida Theatre.

His production company, The Other Cheek, in association with Cahoots Theatre Company, recently presented a revival of J.B. Priestley’s The Roundabout, which Hugh directed, at the Park Theatre, London, which subsequently played a season in New York . Hugh also recently redirected the West End production of The Mousetrap at the St. Martin’s Theatre.

Hugh has also narrated a number of books that are available through audible website.

[cryptidsncurios]

PEOPLE I'D LIKE TO GET TO KNOW BETTER !

alias / name : screamy

birthday : march 5th

zodiac sign : pisces

height : nunya (aka short and i hate it)

hobbies : writing, drawing, cosplaying, vidya gamin---does sleeping count?? i'm good at that

favourite colour : a bruise-y purple, like plum

favourite book : i... love to read.. so it's hard to pick??? but i gotta say, frankenstein is v sexy (and ms shelley, i love your whole story, but the fact that there's no person that wants to get down with the monster??? bs bs BS). also wanna mention camp damascus by chuck tingle (yes THEEE chuck tingle) is absolutely incredible, pls read it pls pleeease

last film / show : rn i'm watching a mystery file ep with shane madej and ryan bergara about an arsonist that filmed their own crime. the previous one was about mysterious jelly that rained down in a town. cool shite

recent reads :i MUST reiterate, CAMP DAMASCUS, some of the BEST horror i've ever read. also dance on saturday by elwin cotman and books of blood collection by clive barker. both excellent

inspiration : sooo... there's a lot i should put here? but some things that come to mind: the show gargoyles, victorian/gothic literature, final fantasy/kh/borderlands/fma series, gorillaz (especially the art style and characters), various horror movies with practical effects, comedy fellas (aunty donna, mcelroys, etc), b-movies (yall need to see psycho goreman. godt....), and uh??? idk there's a lot of stuff

story behind url : i wanted something with alliteration, and i love cryptids (lbr to some extent, my current trifecta have cryptid energy in various degrees) and then curios just occurred i guess

fun fact about me : i am very engaged. and our rings are going to be coffin-shaped alexandrite. i'm v in love. hhggn

tagged by: @speedchasing smooch smooch uvu tagging: litcherally all of you. do it. knife emoji.

[batz-surveys]

12.

When was the last time you saw the person you like? This afternoon, before he left for work.

What are you listening to? The a/c and my dog licking her pillow.

Would you take back your last boyfriend/girlfriend? No times infinity!

Did you babysit for money when you were in middle school? I babysat, but I sure as hell didn't get paid. I was forced to look after my niece and nephew from the time I was thirteen, until I could get a real job at seventeen or eighteen.

Who is your favorite band? How long have they been? The Used. I've loved them from the first time I listened to their first album, which was a burned CD. That was when I was a freshman in high school, so either 2003 or 2004.

What do the last two texts you received from different people say? Hubs: "Damn, baby I'm sorry. I'll clean the tub tomorrow after I take you to work." I hurt my back last week, and couldn't clean it to take an epsom salt bath today. Mother In Law: "[heart emoji]"

Are you good at wrapping presents? I’m great at wrapping presents, but I prefer to put gifts in bags so that people can reuse them.

Who are you more like? Your mom or your dad? I would say I'm a pretty good mix of both, both personality wise and physical traits.

How do you respond to being nervous? Oh, not well at all.

Who were the last two boys to text you? You mean men. And it was my husband and my dad.

If you could have one thing right this second, what would it be? A winning lottery ticket so that I don't have to work tomorrow, and I can go see a doctor without fear of spending over $200 just for them to tell me I pulled a muscle.

How did you get your last bruise? Either a kid hitting me or me knocking into something.

Name something you disliked about today? My back hurt so bad when I woke up this morning, that I could barely get out of bed on my own.

Who is your favorite author? It's a toss-up between Clive Barker and Stephen King. Stephen King writes more, but Clive Barker's way with words and description is just wonderful. And then there's Edgar Allan Poe...fuck, I can't pick!

Do you like to have long hair or short hair? I like the way long hair looks on me, because my face is chubby, but I love that short hair is so much easier to manage.

Do you think doing drugs is cool? Haha, no? I think it's just something for people to do. That's like asking if I think doing the dishes is cool. It's not awesome, but people do it.

If you could go to Africa, would you? If I had time to research all the areas I would be going to, yes. And I'd have to take my dad. It's his dream to go to Africa.

What were you doing at 9:00 a.m. this morning? I was lying in bed watching Tik Toks.

How often do you see your most recent ex? Never, thank goodness.

Have you ever driven without a license? Haha, yes. But I don't drive. It was just some practice at our old storage unit place, and then I had a panic attack so...

Do you think you have made a difference in anyone’s life? I know I have. That sounds cocky, but it's true because people have literally told me.

Who were you last in a car with? A Lyft driver on Friday. Haha, it just set in that I haven't left my apartment other than to walk my dog since Friday.

What is bothering you right now? The weekend is over, my back still hurts, and I don't want to work because of it.

What are you planning to do on your 19th birthday? Ha! My 19th birthday was forever ago. I can't even remember what I did for it.

Do you like cheesecake? I have to be in the mood for it, but sure.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? My husband.

Is there a high chance of you going out to the movies soon? Yes, I want to see Joker: Folie à Deux so bad! I'm not sure when I'll get a chance to. I'll probably have to play hooky on one of my husband's days off.

How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? Thirty-six.

How did you meet the last person you kissed? Through Facebook. We had mutual friends, we talked for a couple weeks before meeting in person, he invited me to a band practice, and the rest, as they say, is history.

What does your hair look like? It’s in eight braids.

Do you like your hair? I like when it cooperates with me, sure.

Do you wake up cranky? Most days, yes.

Are there certain things that can’t be joked about with you? Sure, and they're obvious things that nobody should joke about in the first place.

Do you care who wins the Super Bowl? Not really.

Where did you get the shirt you’re wearing? I got it for Xmas a couple years ago. But more than likely, The Used's online shop.

Have you ever met your favorite band // singer? I have. Not the original line-up, but still.

Have you ever been in a life threatening situation? Yes.

Have you ever read the Hunger Games series? No.

Do you watch a lot of movies? A lot of horror movies, yes.

Have you ever had highlights in your hair? Well, I had streaks at one point. But they were teal.

Do you like to keep a routine? Not only do I like to, but I have to.

Who knows your biggest secrets? My journals.

Do you have any hickeys on you? No.

Have you ever made out with someone you weren’t dating? Yes.

Can you recall the last time you sincerely liked someone? Now. I love my husband.

Do you have any interesting tattoos/piercings? I wouldn't call my tattoos interesting, really. But I have had some wild piercings back in the day, haha. I've been pierced over like, twenty times.

Do you have a good relationship with your parent(s)? I do now, yes. Distance from my mom healed my relationship with her. And my dad getting sober healed my dad's relationships with all of us.

How many siblings do you have? I have two brothers, although I don't talk to one of them, and a sister.

What do you hear right now? The restaurant down the fucking street. Same three fucking beats, in rotation, almost every night.

What friend haven’t you seen in a while that you’d like to see? Oh man, I don't even want to pull at this string. Next!

Are your lips soft? Right now, not really actually. I just pressed my lips together and they feel a little chapped.

Who did you last shoot a dirty look at? Honestly, probably a parent of a kid at work.

Last time you were sick? I had a little sinus issue last week. I think it was from cleaning the bathroom without proper ventilation, though, and not actually catching it from somewhere.

Who came over last? My husband's friend. He had just got out of the hospital, and he didn't want to be alone, so he came over Friday night to chill.

Where is your next date? God, I hope it's soon. I'm dying for romance. We've just not had the time.

Whose car were you in last, besides your own? I don't have a car. It's always my husband's car. But I guess other than his, then it was my Lyft driver on Friday.

What letter does your boyfriend/girlfriend’s last name start with? L.

Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? Yes, he lives here.

What would you do if Jesse McCartney rang you up and asked you on a date?  I forgot about this guy - I'm pretty sure I thought him and Aaron Carter (RIP) was the same person.

Would you ever date someone who was absolutely gorgeous but thought they were better than everyone else? I'm married. But for the question's sake, probably not. I've done that before in the past and honestly, he wasn't even that cute and his attitude made him very unattractive.

Do you dislike anyone? No.

Why? I let go of the reasons I dislike a person when I let that person go. Like, the former question made me think of my brother that I don't talk to. I don't hate him, really. I just got fed up with all the things he's done to my family, and cut him loose. I want nothing but the best for him, and his family, because their my family, too. But, I also want nothing to do with that side of my family. I've had enough. It's not a grudge, like my mom likes to say, it's just the end of our relationship. Just because the same blood runs through our veins, doesn't mean we have to be family.

How would you feel if you got the person you liked? I got him.

Do you remember who you liked on New Year’s? My husband, haha.

Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough? Sure. It's something I'm working on to this day.

Do you understand football? Kind of. Not where I could explain it, but I can watch and follow along.

Explain your relationship status: Married to my best friend in the whole world.

Ever been called a jerk/bitch? Yes, both jokingly and seriously.

What do you think your mom does when she goes out? She's either running errands for my grandma or Ms. Betty, or shopping.

Do chickens have feelings? I think so. It's why I don't eat them. Tomorrow's seven years as a vegetarian for me!

Where is your sister right now? Probably at home.

What kind of phone do you have? Samsung Galaxy S8. Shut up, it still works fine.

What do you smell like? My leave-in conditioner, so kind of coconutty.

Are you allergic to anything? Yes, several things.

Have you ever been to a spa? No.

Do you miss someone? I do miss my husband. I'm still not used to his long, late hours yet.

Do you think they miss you too? I'm sure he would rather be here with me, yes.

Do you know how to do a cart-wheel? I've never done a cartwheel before in my life. I've always been afraid of breaking my neck, haha. Which is stupid, because I skateboarded in high school with no regard for breaks and bruises because I never wore pads or a helmet.

In one word, how would you define yourself? Tired.

How did you feel when you woke up? Tired and achy.

When was the last time you saw your father? Wednesday evening.

Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor? Ugh, yes, thanks for reminding me of that fucked up time in my life where I was either always high or drunk to numb the pain of my life outside of the drugs and alcohol.

Do you like surprises? I like to say I like "item surprises." Like, gifts and things like that. But don't surprise me with a party, or a trip, or anything like that. I need two to five business days to plan and prep mentally.

Who was the last person you held hands with? My husband.

When was the last time you laughed really hard? It was either yesterday morning or this morning, I can't remember. My husband said some funny shit, as usual, and had me cackling before coffee even.

Is it hard leaving people behind? Certain people. But mostly, no.

[cinemajunkie70]

A very happy birthday to Clive Barker!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

We are so fucking back, baby! Since my birthday weekend is coming up, I decided I’d put up a poll so we can see what absolute mess of a movie I’ll have to sit through! And since it is my birthday, I’ve decided it should be a movie based off of one of my favorite authors: Stephen King.

1. Stephen King directed his own story while high off his ass on coke. It’s about killer trucks and has a soundtrack comprised of AC/DC songs.

2. The contentious compressed adaptation of King’s most ambitious series, starring world’s sexiest man Idris Elba.

3. A movie about incestuous vampire werecats which features a slew of cameos from people like Ron Perlman, Clive Barker, and child murderer John Landis.

4. Imagine if Alien was delirious and the chestbursters went up your ass and were also called “Shit Weasels,” also everyone is psychic and Morgan Freeman is there. That’s this movie.

5. It’s a movie about a killer laundry press. This might be the greatest concept of all time.

6. Cheap-looking killer bat movie at a textile mill. I think I started watching this one once and got really bored.

7. You know what everyone loves? Remakes of beloved classics! How does the second theatrical adaptation of the book that put King on the map fare? Considering this is probably your first time hearing about it in years, not well!

8. You know what’s generally a better idea? Remaking movies that aren’t bonafide classics! The original was good but had room for improvement, so did this film deliver? Ehhhh…

9. This movie has so little to do with King’s story he demanded his name be taken off it so they couldn’t bank on the King brand.

10. King has had vampire stories adapted to great effect, but werewolves? Decidedly less so. Roger Ebert went as far as to say he thought this was a parody of the original novella… but he still liked it, so there’s hope.

[crackedmagazine]

Happy birthday to horror author Clive Barker!!

Hellraiser parody art of Sylvester P Smythe by Bill Wray!

[stankycowboy]

WRITER BASICS. meet the author.

ALIAS / NAME. Dhoome

BIRTHDAY. August 31st

ZODIAC. Virgo

HEIGHT. 5'6"

HOBBIES. Writing, drawing, very hobbyist film shorts, video games, board gaming, deep diving my obsessions

FAV. COLOUR. Purple? Black?

FAV. BOOK. The Gunslinger (or The Mist? I listen to it constantly.)

LAST SONG. Sick — VRSTY (blame Wilds)

LAST MOVIE / SHOW. Technically Changeling, but I was scrolling episode 7 of The Sandman, The Doll’s House ( go figure :) )

RECENT READ: The Ritual, Holly, The Sandman Universe: Nightmare Country (1-7), Nightmare Country: The Glass House (1-4), The Sandman: The Doll’s House, The Sandman: The Kindly Ones, The Sandman: Episode 7, The Doll’s House (script), Near Dark (script, assume I’m always reading it), I fairly regularly am reading my Old West Dictionary (but not cover to cover). If audiobooks count: The Sandman Audio Drama vol 1, The Luminous Dead, The Child Thief, The Gunslinger, The Drawing of the Three, The Wastelands, Doctor Sleep, Cyberpunk 2077: No_Coincidence

INSPIRATION. Well, there just happens to be this movie… Ever since @ulfhrafnx showed me Near Dark I have been obsessed. I used to be a fairly active writer, both on Tumblr and on my own, but had a long hiatus. Something about the movie clicked with me and after some encouragement I just started writing again. I get most of my general inspiration just from “supposing”. Kind of how Stephen King describes it. A scenario pops into my head and I find the first sentence, then the scene sort of unravels. Writers like King, Shirley Jackson, Clive Barker, Joe Hill, who also write with vivid imagery really spark my imagination. When someone can change my mood with a turn of phrase I find that very powerful. It may just be silly exposition on a website, but if I can make people see/feel/hear the things I describe (sorry about some of them), that is everything I want. My base inspiration for writing is projecting the scene in my mind into other people’s. I want them to get to the end, sit back and be able to have gone to that same place with me. If/when that happens, I know I can keep writing.

STORY BEHIND URL. Lady said “I’m surprised it wasn’t taken”. Honestly, they are just very key Severen words. He is The Savage One, he is a cowboy. There you have it.

tagged: @ohsunshine

tagging: I feel like everyone I know was tagged, how’sabout you just steal it if you want to do it. You have my exclusive permission.

[psychosomaticdeicide]

Horror Movie Watchlist

Previous pinned post here!

TO WATCH

(In no particular order, and subject to changes and additions.)

Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988) [US]

John Carpenter's The Ward (2010) [US]

Ring (1998) [JP]

Spiral (1998) [JP]

Ring 2 (1999) [JP]

Ring 0: Birthday (2000) [JP]

The Blob (1958) [US]

Bilocation (2013) [JP]

Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010) [CA]

Nosferatu (1922) [DE]

The Phantom of the Opera (1925) [US]

Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979) [DE]

The Night Shift (2018) [KR]

Vampariah (2016) [US]

Clive Barker's Book of Blood (2009) [UK]

The Vampire Lovers (1970) [UK]

Lust for a Vampire (1971) [UK]

Black Rat (2010) [JP]

Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell (1995) [JP]

Embrace of the Vampire (1995) [US]

The Thing from Another World (1951) [US]

Weird Fiction (2018) [US]

Frankenhooker (1990) [US]

The Wicker Man (1973) [UK]

Killer Toon (2013) [KR]

Chopping Mall (1986)

Godzilla (1954) [JP]

Spike (2008) [US]

Creep (2004) [UK]

Over Your Dead Body (2014) [JP]

Be With Me (2009) [KR]

THINGS I'VE WATCHED

(From my recently-made list, and in chronological order)

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920) [DE] - July 9, 2024

Nightbreed: Director's Cut (1990) [US] - July 13, 2024

Low Lifes (2024) [CA] - August 1, 2024

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Happy Birthday

Stephen King: guys you know its mary's birthday today? King: we should get her something Poe: how about the calcified heart of her boyfriend? King: no no King: she already has one of those Poe: that is a pickle Poe: what do you get for the girl who has everything?

Barker: you guys getting mary a birthday present? King: what did you get her? Barker: i got her the calcified heart of her boyfriend Lovecraft: b-but clive! Lovecraft: i ALSO got her the calcified heart of her boyfriend! Barker: Barker: well shit

King: well gosh darn it King: did anyone here NOT get her the calcified heart of her boyfriend? Poe: Lovecraft: Barker: Koontz: King: how many boyfriends does she have? Barker: its a really big polycule, steve

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers King: happy birthday mary! King: now i know you don't like us making a big deal about your birthday King: but we all got together & got you something we thought you'd really like Shelley: is it a coffin King: no it's JUST KIDDING OF COURSE ITS A COFFIN!

King: see we thought this would be the perfect thing, you could be morose, contemplate the walking death that is life- Shelley: this has 4 sides King: what? Shelley: this is a casket, steve King: there's a difference? Edward Gorey: we prefer to call it an America Box