#incoherent screeching into the abyss
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psychosomaticdeicide · 2 months ago
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“You're not Mary Poppins. You're a bitch.” is not one of the best lines ever written but it has stuck in my head for several days after rewatching The Wedding Job.
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psychosomaticdeicide · 2 years ago
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Perhaps I made the poll too damn long. One day feels like it wouldn’t be long enough but a week is going to make me feel actual pain waiting for the final results.
I’m coming back. However, I’m going to delete the discord because it isn’t seeing any use.
There were only 12 people who follow(ed) this blog who were on the Discord. It has not been used since 2021, and the deletion seems very overdue.
More polls incoming so I can see what I can do to make this blog better for everyone.
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en-scribed · 1 year ago
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ABYSS - The Brewing Storm [short urban fantasy snippet]
A character introduction for a story co-created with @heirmyst about personified immortal Stars secretly living on Earth... and the human boy who stumbles into their world holding an otherworldly parasite! Previous posts: [SUN] [ARCTURUS] [VEGA] [POLARIS] Word count: 1716
Jade’s eyes snapped open. He sat upright with a gasp of much needed air, a little too abruptly. His chair teetered dangerously backward. The hoodie obscuring his view didn’t let him regain his balance in time, but a helpful hand from the side steadied the chair for him.
Thanks, Harley, he wanted to say. His aching, scratchy throat only allowed an incoherent mumble between coughs to push through. 
“Jade Farren, how nice of you to join us,” the teacher’s unamused voice piped up all the way from the front of the classroom. “Do me a favor and try to keep up for the next fifteen minutes? This shortened class is dense as is.”
Badly hidden laughter echoed throughout the room. His fists clenched. Maybe it was time he really gave them something to laugh about.
“Good morning,” Harley whispered, cutting the thought short. Through the black spots dancing in Jade's vision, he could barely see Harley's pink, bracelet-laden shirt sleeve. Harley was putting aside his own notebook and reaching forward to lift Jade's hood. “All good?”
“Mm,” Jade managed, making a feeble effort to swat the hand away. “When did you get here?”
“In the middle of class, while you were already out cold.” 
“Cold is right,” Jade muttered. “The fucking AC’s killing me. Ask to turn it off.”
“It’s not the AC. You’ve just caught something.” They patted Jade’s back and returned to their work; color coded pens, ridiculously detailed notes and all, complete with a fantasy novel on the side for later. 
Jade’s desk, meanwhile, had one open textbook, which he was fairly certain was for the wrong subject. 
“It’s okay,” Harley said, smiling sympathetically. “I’ll get this down for you. Rest up before the assembly.”
Jade accepted that without question, dropping back onto the desk when sitting for too long made his head spin. He fixed his gaze to the front of the room, fighting to stay awake. Chemistry class may have been torture, but it still was a step above drowning in his sleep again.
The bell screeched right on schedule. In the time Jade took to close his singular wrong textbook, almost everyone else had already scrambled to their feet, put their things away and made a beeline toward the auditorium. Jade and Harley were, of course, the last people left.
Harley held a paper in his hands. His face scrunched up in concentration as he scanned it. “Do you think Kiren will mind if I mess up the song?”
“No, but he’ll mind if I happen to breathe in a way he doesn’t like,” Jade pulled his jacket strings tight and shoved his freezing hands into his pockets. “Let’s get this over with.”
“Are you sure you shouldn’t just go home?” Harley asked. “I mean, you look… really bad.”
If the comment came from anyone else right then, it would practically be asking for a punch. But it was Harley, so Jade settled for shooting him a look. “You coming or what?”
Harley sighed and ushered him forward, unfazed. “Just know that if we end up late, it’s on you!” 
When they burst into the auditorium and rushed backstage, Kiren was already rattling off orders at everyone present, clipboard in hand like some sort of miniature director. He counted off all the heads he could see, and then froze, running his hand through his dark curls when he saw people missing. Jade almost considered hiding just to see how far the panic could go, but Kiren missed nothing. Jade and Harley had entered the scene, and Kiren would apparently be damned if he allowed them a second to breathe before forcing them into position. 
“Harley, oh my god, finally!” Kiren grabbed his hand and deposited him near the center of the group. 
Harley followed along, glancing back to give Jade an apologetic wave. 
“There! That’s perfect!” Kiren’s smile plummeted as he turned back to face the far less cooperative newcomer. “And you…”
“Me.” Jade shrugged. “Don’t worry, Mr. President. I’ll save you the trouble and—”
“Nice try, but you’re not off the hook,” he interrupted. “Please, Jade. Do me a favor and don’t ruin this one too.” He turned back to the rest of the classmates, relaxing the slightest bit. “Or… I guess, the curtain's almost up, so you can’t really turn this into a whole thing. Huh.” 
That infuriating triumphant smile did it. Jade curled his fists at his sides. “What? Like I’m some… fucking time bomb you’ve successfully tamed?”
Kiren, ever the asshole, had the nerve to look surprised, as if he didn’t do this at every opportunity. How did anyone ever buy his act? “Jade, when did I ever say—”
“You never have to say it.” His heart pounded, reaching his ears in cold, heavy drumbeats. It intensified when he took in the onlookers’ presence, realizing no one even bothered keeping up the pretense of looking away anymore. He gestured toward them. “See? Everyone watching always makes up their own goddamn minds about me!”
“Okay, just… pipe down, will you?” Kiren said, his gaze frantically darting to the curtain. “People might hear!”
Right. The curtain would rise soon and this was an important assembly, whatever. Jade didn’t care anymore. 
A storm broke within his heart, driving him forward as he lunged at Kiren. But Mr. President wasn’t as squeaky clean as he looked; he knew when to anticipate Jade’s punches by now, and swiftly stepped to the side when Jade had already set his target. 
The next thing Jade knew, he was on the ground, his head driven straight through a used backdrop. 
I’m not done, he told himself, flailing blind to pull himself free. His heartbeat only quickened. Stage lights blinked on and off overhead, but the darkness filling Jade’s vision stayed even when they clicked on for good. I’ll fucking show them…
Someone was screaming, closing in on him. Footsteps rushed to his side. Jade prepared another hit, before his ears cleared enough to let him place the voice.
“Jade!” Harley cast aside the destroyed backdrop and propped Jade up to a sitting position. “Hey. Come on, talk to me!”
“Leave him be, Harley,” Kiren said a short way off, voice laced with his usual unbearable saccharine. “Let him clean up his own messes for once.”
Something cold stung behind Jade’s failing eyes. “My head…”
“I know,” Harley said quickly, his panic crystal clear. “Don’t worry, okay? I’ll take care of it!”
Before Jade could ask how the hell they would do that, they were hauling him to his unsteady feet and rushing him out the stage door. Jade allowed himself to be led forward, not trusting whatever would happen if he resisted or let go. 
The two of them made it outside. Under the natural light of windows, Harley stopped, studying Jade with keener focus. “How are you feeling?” 
Jade blinked away the sunbeams that were burning white hot holes into his sight. “Fuck stars,” he said, because that was the only thing his mind would let him.
Judging by Harley’s baffled face, it was the wrong thing to say. “That’s not an answer, and it makes no sense!” He scanned the area, before settling on something. “In here!” 
Harley pushed through a nearby bathroom door, setting Jade against a wall. 
Only then did Jade feel the sticky wetness dripping from his head. Tentatively, he raised a hand to the spot. 
“Don’t touch!” Harley warned, already fiddling with his emergency cleanup kit. “I told you, I'll take care of it!”
Oh. So that was what they meant earlier. Of course Harley had been talking about the wound and not… whatever else was happening there.
Jade’s heart finally slowed. The sensation of warmth returned as Harley wiped off the blood and pressed a bandage to the wound. As was routine by now, the two of them let the comfortable silence engulf the adrenaline. 
Then, as always, Harley broke it. “Jade…” they began softly.
“I know!” Jade snapped back on instinct. Then, quieter, “I didn’t want... you shouldn’t have had to see that.”
Harley shook his head. “That’s not the point. You jumped in so fast, you hurt yourself and…” His frown carried quiet concern, instantly evaporating every ounce of residual anger in Jade. “It never even crossed your mind to stop, did it?”
Jade looked down at his hands. No. But I’m sick, his first thought protested. I haven’t gotten any sleep. Kiren was pissing me off. None of the excuses left his throat; Harley wouldn’t stand for them, and they barely scratched the surface anyway. 
Harley grabbed his bag, rummaging inside for something. “I need to check in with the rest of the assembly. You should go home.”
“But…” Jade trailed off, realizing there was no reason to stay the rest of the shitty day. He’d only come because it didn’t count as skipping if he never showed up at all, and what had showing up gotten him?
“There we go.” Harley smiled, reading his mind in that unnerving best friend way they always did, knowing they'd won the argument. They pushed a folded raincoat into Jade’s hands. “Here. In case rain surprises you on the way back.”
“Uh…”
They rolled their eyes. “What, you’re too cool for pink now?”
“If I was, I wouldn’t be here with you,” Jade said. “Is it going to rain today?”
“Who knows at this point? It’s just best if you don’t take chances. It already gave you this weird cold.”
Jade didn’t argue. 
On the bicycle ride back home, he lagged behind his usual pace and looked up at the sun practically out of habit. He’d done it ever since the “black sun” incident that freaked everyone’s shit and dominated the news five days ago. Well, the sun definitely wasn’t black now. Despite the clouds surrounding it, the beams shone on, hurting Jade’s eyes even more than usual. If he squinted, the dark rings surrounding it seemed to return, sending a shiver down his spine. It took a single blink to dispel the imagined return, and yet…
Fuck this shit, Jade decided, and continued on his way. 
There was no point thinking about this bullshit on a sick brain that was probably one bad day away from imploding, unless he wanted to prove people like Kiren right. 
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psychosomaticdeicide · 3 months ago
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This, too, is yuri...?
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psychosomaticdeicide · 3 months ago
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Everyone needs to look upon Hanamaruobake immediately.
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psychosomaticdeicide · 20 days ago
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Super Doll Licca-chan Opening Theme
Saved to my phone because I cannot live without it anymore.
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psychosomaticdeicide · 12 days ago
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Also the reason why I taught myself mahjong is because 1) I have the tiles and 2) I was browsing the Internet Archive for weird old anime and found an ecchi based on a strip mahjong video game.
I thought the very concept was so absurd I needed to find out what sorts of games existed. Except I got sidetracked learning regular solo mahjong, and only looked (incredulously) for sexy mahjong games on Steam today. All of them are off-putting to me, especially when it's one of those things where you look for more than two seconds and see art styles for characters that Do Not match, leaving me to wonder whether the images are ethically sourced or outright stolen.
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psychosomaticdeicide · 7 months ago
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Every time I try to do a project that is larger than the scope of my skills, I am either able to come out of the project with new skills or end up with half-baked skills and an unfinished project. Considering that I am not very good at remembering code due to my lack of knowledge, expertise, and practice, I should not be thinking about making a randomizer for digital cartomancy.
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psychosomaticdeicide · 5 months ago
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psychosomaticdeicide · 9 days ago
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I dropped my Bluetooth mouse twice and now it can't fuckin click correctly or register double clicks. So now my laptop has to have both USB holes filled so I can use my other mouse and have WiFi at the same time.
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psychosomaticdeicide · 3 months ago
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BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER SEASONS ONE THROUGH SEVEN ARE CURRENTLY AVAILABLE TO WATCH ON TUBI FOR FREE!!! IF YOU HAVE FIREFOX AND UBLOCK ORIGIN YOU CAN WATCH IT WITHOUT ADS!!!
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psychosomaticdeicide · 3 months ago
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I don't know if The One Within the Villainess is actually good or not (being on the 2nd chapter) but it is scratching an itch in my brain for revenge and women caring deeply for each other (though they're sharing the same body).
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psychosomaticdeicide · 7 months ago
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I really just choose to do things that are fully out of my depth and then have to figure shit out through an incredibly unintuitive trial-and-error process. I enjoy the challenge but don't like watching videos (which are the preferred method for communicating new skills for some fucking reason).
I think I know what to use but don't understand the syntax quite yet.
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psychosomaticdeicide · 7 months ago
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What the fuck is the difference between fuckboys and mansluts?
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psychosomaticdeicide · 3 months ago
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Forgot the name of a character's father and then where the fuck the file is.
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psychosomaticdeicide · 17 days ago
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Yeah, I'm currently reading a 320-page thesis paper. Why? I just wanted additional cultural context on magical girl anime and its reception by Japanese girls in the late 90s.
Yes, this is related to the anime that I've repeatedly said is not a magical girl anime based solely on definition. This actually factors in by giving cultural context behind gender norms and how they were constructed in Japan, which heavily affects the current state of shōjo manga as well as having an effect on the very creation of the separation of shōnen and shōjo. This is because the culture of a country heavily affects the media it produces, specifically if marketed toward different genders.
And while this anime is not a magical girl anime, I would argue that it borrows quite a lot from magical girl anime as it evolved into their 90s iterations.
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