#for 10 years i thought i was aro

[skeletxr]

:

[asexualjedi]

Was like damn there should be an ace dating app for people who are like asexual or gray romantic or gray sexual. And then I went to google that and realized that would involve sharing my information with an app and giving up personal info to people. And I’m reminded of the people I had to block and the issues I’ve had with guys™️ in the past and that makes me want to break out in hives. Like would hopefully ideally be different. But. Alas. I’ll just have to believe in rom communism.

[ltleflrt]

Figuring out I'm on the ace spectrum was so difficult because I have always been a horny bitch. I knew what sex was at a fairly young age, because I'd asked my mom and she's one of those good parents who'll answer questions like those, and as I grew older and would ask more complex questions, her answers would evolve along with my curiosity and understanding of the world. And I remember having fantasies as young as 9 or 10 years old, even if they were hella vague and nothing close to what sex actually is lol

So as I became a teenager, and all my friends' focus turned from playing with dolls to flirting with boys, I automatically thought I was attracted to boys. And I paid more attention to Cute Boys than I did to Cute Girls, because girls were just nice to look at while boys were People To Have Crushes On. Because of heteronormativity. Looking back on it now, I know there were girls I liked to stare at just as intently as boys, although less often because I wasn't trying to pay attention. And I certainly didn't fantasize about girls because I started reading romance novels in 5th grade, so I was fantasizing about male romantic partners because that was the fiction I was consuming. I didn't even realize fantasizing about girls was possible until I was 17, and I had a few "am I a lesbian" internal crises for years because of it.

So when I did start having sex, I had A LOT OF IT with SO MANY different guys, and eventually a couple of women once I started accepting that bisexuality was real. But it was never really fulfilling. Not like my fantasies were. Not like my books were. I was slutty because sex was fun, I was horny, there were plenty of options so I kept searching for that satisfaction I was craving.

Getting married was a relief (even though it turns out I'm aro-spec too lol) because I was tired of hunting, and even if sex with my husband was meh, at least I had someone around to scratch that itch if I had it, and he didn't mind if I occasionally took care of things on my own because I'd read an especially hot scene in a romance.

I learned about asexuality in my early 20s, but I brushed it off. Couldn't be me, I'm far too horny for that. But I think that comes from the fact that everything you hear about Aces is attached to sex-repulsion or sex-indifference. I wasn't either of those things. I was horny all the dang time. I was fantasizing about sex all the dang time. I figured actual sex was meh because my imagination was so vivid that real life could never match up. Which could be true to an extent, but I think not as much as popular opinion would have us believe. If fantasy was really that much better for everyone, then I think we'd have less incels and unplanned pregnancies than we do.

In my 30s I finally saw people talking about The Spectrum, and I started examining my past, and I figured out I wasn't really attracted to anyone I had sex with. I do occasionally find someone attractive; there are men and women and enbies who make my skin feel tight and give me a little wave of lightheadedness lol... but it's always always the fantasy that gets me really going. If given the opportunity I wouldn't have sex with any of those people. Thank you, but no thank you, I'd rather just imagine it than physically participate in the act with them.

(Ok I might go down on them, but that's less about wanting sex, and more about being able to add them to my Tally. Hell yeah I want to brag about making *insert hot person* have an orgasm. There's PRIDE in that kind of accomplishment lol)

I have a lot of respect for aces that are not horny. I understand it even if I don't share the sentiment. And I feel like most of them understand me even if they don't share the sentiment. There's a solidarity between us.

Until I go into a fandom tag for a character that the aces have glommed onto because they're canonically ace or headcanoned as ace. Good lord, the non-horny aces can turn into downright vicious bastards if a horny ace sexualizes their blorbo.

This post is for them.

Horny aces exist. Please look up "autochorissexual, lithosexual, and aegosexual."

Refer to those definitions in regards to romantic attraction as well as sexual attraction.

Some aces may not fall into one of those definitions, because asexuality is a spectrum, but they may still be horny.

Horny aces are not disrespecting you by enjoying being horny on main. We promise we'll wash the stickiness off our hands before we hold your hands in queer solidarity.

And most importantly: Your blorbo is fictional and does not need to be defended from icky sexuality. They exist in an infinite multiverse, so your blorbo and my blorbo are not the same, even if they appear to be on the surface.

AND:

This post is also for the people who are confused about themselves because they're horny but don't actually feel attraction. You're not crazy, you're not wishy washy, you're not "waiting for the right person to come along" (unless you are, in which case I hope you find them). You're just a thin strip of color on a massive rainbow that holds more unique shades than anyone can perceive at a glance.

You're valid. You're one of us too.

And don't be mean to the non-horny aces. Tag your smut so they can avoid it. (But actually so I can find it lol)

[koszmarnybudyn]

The ouaw crew as humans :]

Individual charakters and design details under cut:

Frost: I think Frost would work as an account (the not sexy kind) because idk he has the vibes and he likes math and stuff. He also has his giant backpack, and he has his hiking boots (which i think are very conftrouble because im projecting my fucky knees onto Frost now). And he is greying early and probablly looks older than he is.

Gricko: I probablly made Gricko look cooler than he should but i coudnt resist. I think he'd work at a zoo. He is missing a finger cause normal Gricko has 4 fingers and i thought it would work, plus he has the scar Frost gave him in canon (probablly not Frost inflicted here though). And he has bracelets (green for Frost and brown for Hootsie). Also gave him flipflops cause he aint wearing shoes. Oh and i made his totems heychains.

Hootsie: Hootsie is both a cat and a girl cause she kinda acts like both in canon. And they are named the same because human Hootsie (whose goverment name is either Athena (cause owls) or Helen) named cat Hootsie as a baby. Idk how Gricko got a kid, idk if she's adopted or a bio kid but she's his daughter so who cares, its one of lifes greatest mysteries. I think she'd be mute and the ipad (now with a banana cause bananyas idk if its still called a flypad) has text to speach for her. She has comfy hiking boots (probablly a gift from Frost), and i borrowed some of Grickos colors for her design. She's also like around 10-13? She's a tween.

Twig: she has a baby face but she's like 20-30 something? I'd say. I think she would dress in lolita-foresty kinda vibes, i think it fits. Still probablly has an inn or a restourant not sure. She doesnt change much from canon tbh cause she's already pretty human looking.

Torbek: i made his shirt striped instead of like a restraintment thing he has in canon (defintly intentional and not just because i havent notice that that's what those were). He's sad, he's kinda pathetic, he is probablly living and Frost and Gricko's place (i think Frost and Gricko live together, cause aro life partners/best lads, yes, and Gid and Kremy live together cause "ironic" husbands), and hes being Torbek.

Kremy: made his suit a bit more modern, but still quite vintage (i think he'd like that), oh his (as well as Grickos, Frosts and Hooties) nails are painted, cause they all have claws, and i think it would be cute. Idk what he does. He and Gid got "ironicly" married in vegas, and have been living together for like years, and act in love, but still think they are just friends, and not together.

Gideon: apart from Twig he's the most human looking so not much changes tbh. I made his pants and boots slithly diffrent. I think he'd be a mechanic of some kind maybe? Idk about his gauntlets, i basiclly know nothing. I think he looks like Mace. He has a wedding ring (silver while Kremy's is gold, cause cute matching rings, even tho they both wear silver, but Gid is more fiery so i wanted Kremys to be gold (and to be a color he doesnt really wear so its obviously a wedding ring))

[arotechno]

happy 10 year unofficial aroversary to me <2

around that same time 10 years ago, i had to do a school project outlining my 10 year plan for the future. in the midst of figuring out who i was, that seemed like such an impossible task. it was like staring down the barrel of a future that was getting more uncertain for me each day and being expected to somehow know who i wanted to become. who at age 15 really knows what they want out of life? 7 of those years were going to be school for me anyway.

but i did the project, and those 10 years came and went, and all things considered, i'm much happier than i was back then. it was scary to figure out who i was. it was incredibly isolating to be aro in 2014. sometimes, it still is. by and large, i've gotten lucky with the people i have in my life. but i also know that an aro future is one that must be built from scratch with your own two hands. i'm more confident in my aro identity now, as time, maturity, and community are wont to do. but even more importantly, i don't fear that uncertainty as much anymore.

i draw strength from knowing how much things have changed in the past 10 years. my first year in college, on several occasions i spotted the same person on the bus with aro and ace pins on their bag, but i never had the chance to stop them and say hello. it was the first time i didn't feel alone. i think about them whenever i wear my own pins and patches out in public, and i wonder if i've been that person for somebody else. that reminder that we are not alone, that you will not have to hide who you are forever, that aromanticism is something to be proud of. life is cyclical like that; be the out and proud aro you wish to see in the world. build your own castle.

that's all for my rambling thoughts on 10 years. i hope if 15 year old me saw me now, they'd be overjoyed. if you're a young aro, know that you can be whoever you want to be. your life is yours, you were born whole, and there is nothing anyone can do or say to change that.

do i get a senior discount for this?

[elsa-fogen]

Ngl this is my first thought when i found out i was aroace 😂

Before i found out i was aroace, i thought i was special because girls and boys my age literally just spends all their time talking on and on about their crushes when they could do more productive things like idk studying, reading books or fanfics, freaking finish all the chores so you have free time, draw or whateva your hobbies and talents are, spend time with friends and families, etc.

But when i found out tho; i thought "damn i ain't special? (Tʖ̯T)" I honestly wanted to both choke and hug them at the same time to all the other aroaces out there 😂

Sorry for the long rant i couldn't help myself 😅

You know, so true 😭

I was in 7th grade when girls in my class were talking about who they slept with, like, WE WERE 14, WHAT THE FUCK and it felt like they have NOTHING ELSE to talk about, like, gurl don't you have hobbies or anything better than go to parties and fuck?? Me meanwhile drawing dragons 'n shit in my notebooks. this memory for some reason is very strong in my head.

i thought i just slow developing but 10 years passed, nothing changed, i still don't understand and don't find all of this entertaining or interesting

I think i'm just now discovering that i'm somewhere on the ace/aro spectrum, and mostly thanks to Alastor and how people reacting on my portraying of him, saying that i'm providing good ace rep 😅 And my reaction is like "oh okay then", probably because i never faced the "why r u alone, you need to find a boyfriend" thing (although i think my mom is starting it...)

(tho i'm still not sure, some of this may be caused by some health or mental problems, that's totally possible)

anyway yeah, sorry for that too lmao

[mi-spark]

for the PMD ask game!! 4, 5, and 9! ^_^ <3

HAII AIMER <33 ty for the ask!!! :3

4. what did you name your hero and partner characters? and why? i see this one in my inbox a couple other times, so first i'll talk about the team i draw the most: Team Wishes, aka Sapphire the piplup and Bubbles the vulpix :)

i have to tap into whatever the hell my 10-year-old self was thinking when she named these characters. i think she thought Sapphire was a really pretty name and probably wished she was named that herself, and it's a blue gemstone. and piplup is blue. lol. as for Bubbles, IDFK why i chose that for a fire-type pokemon of all things, but i do know that the lore i decided to give her at the time was that she was kicked out from her family for producing bubbles whenever she hiccups, so i guess her family called her that? and it was the only name she'd ever known? IT WAS DEPRESSING FOR NO REASON LMAO

nowadays Bubbles has no rhyme or reason behind her name 😭 i just kept it for the sake of staying faithful to my original choice. sometimes i call her Bea since it's a homophone with the letter B, and Sapphire calls her B as a nickname.

5. what's a pokemon you would like to be able to play as or with? answered here BUT i have an addendum– i also REEEALLY want to try playing a modded version of sky with alternate versions of sapphire and bubbles using the sprites from the pmd sprite repository!!! a shiny piplup and alolan vulpix :3 THEY'D BE SO CUTE!!

9. what do you ship in the games? HERO X PARTNER BAYBEEEY 🤝 it's literally been my lifelong otp ;v; funnily enough, i have 5 pmd teams that i actively draw and think about, but i consider only 1 of them hxp. i guess it kinda goes to show that i personally really value friendships and familial relationships also i'm ace and questioning aro lmao but no i freaking love heroxpartner whether it's platonic or romantic <3 they are SOULMATES!!!!!!!!!

[kitashousewife]

“no satoru! for the last time, no.”

“why not?” gojo whines, palms up from the other side of the kitchen island.

your fingers pinch the bridge of your nose and immediately try to calm down before dealing with your very worked up boyfriend.

“we are not going skinny dipping on campus! for the love of god, you just started teaching!” you huff out a tired laugh. “do you want to get fired?”

gojo opens his mouth to respond, but closes it soon after. you’re right, but he won’t admit that, not now.

“c’mon, nobody will be there after dark!” he pleads, damn near close to begging. he’s been asking for 3 days, and he’s not going to stop until you cave.

“you and i both know that doesn’t stop any students from leaving past curfew,” you remind him softly while you pour yourself a glass of water.

he thinks for a moment, twirling his glasses around by the arm.

“i guess that’s true,” he mumbles. “that was a few years ago though! don’t tell me that any ounce of fun left your body the second we left campus.”

you glare at him and he laughs. you know that it would be fun, sneaking around campus in the dark like giggling high schoolers once more. there is no way that the students know about the small lake anyway, they’ve only been there for a couple of days at this point.

you let out a sigh, and gojo knows he’s won.

“i’ll make it worth your while, trust me!” he waves you off with a smirk before waltzing into your shared room.

later that night, once the sun has just set, gojo warps the two of you onto campus. he does a once over of the halls to ensure the two of you won’t be followed, before walking with you towards the lake.

“i can’t believe i gave in again,” you look up towards the darkening sky as he snickers. “what are you going to say if you get caught? sorry, i know i just started teaching and need to be an example, but-“

“oh shut up,” he shakes his head and grabs your hand in his. the two of you walk for a few more moments before reaching your destination.

the water is completely still, almost glasslike in front of you. a couple birds sit on the dock, enjoying the cooler air together while the stars make their way into the sky. you feel comfortable, smiling slightly while you take in everything for a moment.

“you getting in or what?”

your mouth drops open as gojo appears in front of you, naked as the day he was born. clothes and glasses tossed by your feet in a pile and a wide smile playing at his lips.

“what, see somethin’ ya like? let’s get in!” gojo pats your bum before running towards the dock, laughing at the birds that scramble away before he leaps into the water with a splash.

you feel nervous all of a sudden. despite being with gojo for years, seeing him this way many times before, you feel nervous. thoughts of getting caught, costing him the job he started only days ago, just to do something reckless?

“it feels so good out here! you gotta get in, babe,” gojo waves at you, and you take a deep breath.

ignoring his whistles and faux cat-calls while you undress, you make quick work before shuffling towards the edge of the dock.

“want me to count to three?”

“im not 10, satoru,” you close your eyes for a second before leaping in, fully immersing yourself in the questionable behavior you’ve gotten yourself into tonight. you come to the surface with a gasp, and gojo looks at you with a joyful grin.

“i’m so glad i talked you into this,” he spins you around in the water for a moment. “isn’t this-“

the snap of a branch grabs your attention quickly, you and gojo both stiff as boards in the water. he frantically looks around, trying to see anything or anyone. your heart sinks.

just as gojo is about to get out of the water, a group of bunnies hop out of the bushes near the shore. gojo looks around once more before swimming back to you.

as soon as the two of you make eye contact, the laughing begins. both of you cracking up, laughing both in relief and at how ridiculous the entire thing is. gojo picks you up again, twirling you around before tossing you in the water. he smiles ear to ear and you giggle and splash around, just like teenagers again.

he will remember this forever, and will always talk you into all of his stupid ideas.

[aro-culture-is]

Aro culture is recommending Boboiboy the cartoon from Malaysia. It's about a kid who got elemental power and become a superhero with his friends. I'm not even joking when I said it has no romance, the friendship is so strong in this one I promise.

Even the rival/antagonist Adudu the alien is also have a friendship that he value more than anything. He's a best friend with a robot named Probe.

When Probe got destroyed at Season 3, Adudu willing to be a good guy to help him. He spent his 3 weeks collecting money just for him. And the mc also doesn't even laugh at him trying, because he have his own friends that he want to protect too. The mc help him and happy when Probe got fixed even if they try to kil him multiple time in the past.

When Adudu got a new robot that he likes more than Probe, Probe immediately got salty that he got replaced. He willing to go to tell the mc how to beat the new robot even if Adudu will get mad at him.

Another is in Movie 1, when he go to join a group of villain but the leader there laugh that he's a friend with a trash robot. Adudu, without a thought, immediately fucking calls him a jerk. He rather defend his best friend rather than care about his selfish reason to meet his "idol".

It's great, there's the silly guys, the drama, the angst is strong too, the story is awesome. It's pretty complete, you got the Classic 3 seasons, Movie 1, Galaxy season 1, Movie 2, Galaxy season 2 but it's weirdly split into it's own arc (Sori Arc, Windara Arc, Gentar Arc) and the comic and the animation is not even the same. Great job Monsta but damn is it annoying (they made it up by the amazing animation and new lore, I'm not complaining this is bragging).

And it's also not done yet, we still going to get a Movie 3 next year.

- Sign by an avid fans of Boboiboy that just realized how fucking aspec this show is lmao

(Psst- do keep in mind that this is an asian show that sells for these country, if you find something taboo in America but they joke about it in the show, don't be a whining prick, this is a 10 years old show and it does have a problem, but it's also a nostalgic for us that grow up with it)

.

[luvo27]

just so we're clear: the reason i used so many words to describe the steph &/ cass relationship in the fic that does not exist is because the theme of that nonexistent fic is about the wonderfully complex nature of aspec relationships and how language serves and also fails to accurately describe them and the way that the world can try to impose a type of relationship in an attempt to either understand or make more palatable what is not something that can be easily understood, and so boiling it down to steph/cass or queerplatonic steph/cass or steph&cass would go against what i'm trying to do, even if the fic in question literally does not even exist. so why am i still talking about this nonexistent fic?

this is an excuse to talk about my feelings regarding aromantic and asexual representation on ao3. (note that i say on ao3, and not in fandom in general because this is me talking about my specific personal experiences, which mostly take place through ao3)

BIG DISCLAIMER THAT I WENT BACK AND ADDED IN BECUASE THIS WENT OFF THE RAILS: this is based on PERSONAL EXPERIENCE and FILLED WITH MY BIASES and was written IN A HAZE. (that being said this is something i've thought a lot about over months if not years.)

that tiny disclaimer aside, it goes without saying that fandom as a whole is primarily motivated by shipping, and so fanfiction on ao3 is primarily focused on shipping as well. shout out to this one time i was in high school and reading fic and someone asked (with good intentions) what ship i was reading for, and when i answered none, they asked (again, with good intentions,) what the point of doing that was. this, as you might imagine, made me feel weird to say the least! anyways, go on ao3 and the majority of fandoms will have an m/m pairing in the top most written. go into a small number of fandoms, and an f/m or f/f ship will hold the top spot. (femslash in fandom is a completely different topic) how many fandoms have platonic relationships at the top?

anyways i got curious so working off the knowledge that i have i did some quick looks at a handful of different fandom tags. fandoms which had platonic relationships at the most popular that i expected: dream smp and teenage mutant ninja turtles (all media types). honestly i was a little surprised to see that platonic relationships were at the top for both batman (all media types) and batman (comics), and I was expecting umbrella academy to have a platonic relationship at the top, but it was actually Dave/Klaus! in dr who and related fandoms, there aren't any platonic tags that break the top 10. and ohoho, here's where we get into it: dimension 20's top written relationship was fig/ayda, followed by riz/fabian in second place.

luvo, why did you say here's where we get into it? well, i just talked about the way that fandom focuses on shipping over platonic relationships, but i'm here to talk about aro/ace characters! in ao3's advanced search, if you look for fics with 'asexual' in any category, there are as of 1/7/2025 a total of 67,515 works. looking up 'aromantic' in any category whittles it down to 26,845 works. out of the over 14 million works posted on ao3? (number pulled from wikipedia) these are small numbers, but IT GETS BETTER. if you click on the AROMANTIC TAG, the top written relationship in the AROMANTIC TAG is a SLASH SHIP. (Alastor/Vox, Hazbin Hotel at 533 works.) sort fics under the aromantic tag by kudos, and the first fic under the gen category instead of m/m or multi is the 6th work down, and overall, gen works account for 6,950 out of 18,413 works under the aromantic tag.

my point being, only a small number of fics written with platonic relationships add to aro/ace rep in fic, and following that, when aro/ace characters ARE represented, it seems to be...how do i put this...typically with a shipping lens?

let's take a step back. I want to ask the question of how many canonically aromantic and/or characters exist. just. exist. wikipedia has a decently respectable list of asexual characters in fiction, as well as a much shorter list of aromantic characters in fiction. quick disclaimer that some medias are not represented such as podcasts (jon magnus archives?) or ttrpg shows (riz gukgak?)

what i will point your attention to is: how many of these characters are made explicitly aromantic or asexual within the text of their media? answer: not a lot of them. the majority of these characters have their sexualities confirmed in behind the scenes type things, such as Victor's (Arcane) voice actor saying he's asexual in an interview, Lilith (Owl House) confirmed asexual? or aromantic? over a charity livestream and twitter, Max (Miraculous Ladybug) confirmed asexual in a tweet, etc etc. kudos to Todd and Yolanda (Bojack Horseman) for being confirmed asexual in the media they're portrayed in! these all taken from the asexual characters page, the trend follows in the page about aromantic characters: namely, that if characters are aro/ace, typically explicit confirmation of these identities takes place outside of the media they're portrayed in.

why is that important? because without an explicit confirmation, it makes it a lot easier for denial of these identities to occur. yes, maybe it was the intention of the creators, but look. once a story leaves the author's hands, it belongs to the audience and intentions often have little to no bearing. additionally, if you're reading this then you probably understand that people will also deny coding characters as being gay or bisexual without an explicit onscreen kiss or declaration or some such. and why is this important?

putting the pieces together: characters can be confirmed as allo lgbtq+ through physical acts portrayed explicitly in their stories. characters who are aro/ace, well. more often than not, they can't. they're relegated to being coded as such, and confirmation, no matter how strong the coding, can often be easily ignored or possibly never even heard of.

do not get me wrong, I GET IT. Characters exist in settings where they don't have the word aromantic, or maybe it wouldn't be in character for them to say it as such. I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY. one of my most popular fics i've posted is about Riz Gukgak and his struggle with internalized aphobia. the words aromantic or asexual do not appear ONCE in the fic. In the sequel, A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CHARACTER has to say the words, and RIZ NEVER ACTUALLY CONFIRMS HIS IDENTITY. I UNDERSTAND THE STRUGGLE.

let's continue down the riz gukgak train. here are the facts: a sizable number of fans of dimension 20's fantasy high would say that riz gukgak is heavily aro/ace coded, with scenes such as:

making up a fake partner ("Clearly you haven't been kissed yet." ... "Actually, I'm dating somebody in the Baronies." Fantasy High Sophomore Year, Sophomore Start, 1:26:55)

being told that he is afraid of his friends leaving him for romantic relationships, (“The years will go by, and everyone will find someone that matters more to them than you do.” - Fantasy High Sophomore Year: Fearful Symmetry, 46:24)

telling his dad that he doesn't want to have sex ("yeah, I don't know... it just isn't happening yet? Like, not even just the act is not happening yet, like me wanting to do it." "It's not happening?" "It's not happening yet. And my friends are all like, [whispered] super horny." - Fantasy High Sophomore year, My Green Heaven, taken from a conversation around the 33 minute arc)

additionally, in an adventuring party episode of a spinoff series, the seven, Brennan Lee Mulligan says that Riz is asexual. ("...in a scene, Murph's character lies about having a partner, like a romantic partner, because Riz is ace, is asexual." - Adventuring party, season six episode eleven at 31:22 )

with all the love to my friends over in the d20 fic server for hunting these quotes down for me. truly my life is made all the better by the d20 fic community in a way that i will never know how to describe

here are some more facts! late march of 2024, with the release of the episode Baron's Game, I was lurking around the fhjy tag on tumblr. given the nature of the internet, there was discourse about riz and his identity, or his lack thereof. apologies to my d20 friends reading this who i love a lot, my rendition of a summary of said discourse follows below:

"if he's only coded to be aro/ace, that doesn't make him actually so. Brennan Lee Mulligan isn't the person who plays Riz, and him saying that he's ace is in behind the scenes content for a different show. Additionally, he only says that Riz is asexual, not aromantic. And even if Riz is aroace, aroace people can still be in romantic and sexual relationships, or a queerplatonic one!"

"why does it seem like everyone is ignoring the fact that riz is aroace? Kristen Applebee's sexuality (lesbian) would never be erased to ship her with a guy, so why are so many people doing it to Riz? Writing Riz in queerplatonic relationships is inaccurate because he's shown to be uninterested in relationships resembling anything like romantic ones, it seems like people are only interested in writing queerplatonic relationships as an excuse to write aromantic characters in the ship dynamic they want to," etc, etc. you get the gist.

let's get something straight about my stance on what people can and can't do with fictional characters: you can do literally whatever you want forever. ship riz in a romantic and sexual relationship. don't. whatever. i do not care. i do not care. he's not real. he's a fake character. he is a character. he exists for the audience to do literally whatever they want with him forever. i'll argue for someone's right to ship this character in whatever way they want. if they go down i go down with them-

ahem. sorry. my overall stance on fan creation crept into this thing that's supposed to be about how aro/ace characters are represented in fandom. whoops.

no, but let's talk about that. so, my personal interpretation of riz gukgak is that he's aroace and both romantically and sexually repulsed. i'm fairly confident in saying that my interpretation is supported by canon. some of my friends interpret riz and fabian seacaster's relationship as a queerplatonic one and they write fic about it, and i've read some it it, and i enjoyed it a lot!! and their interpretation is also supported by canon!! some people will interpret riz as simply being a late bloomer! or demi! or whatever! and guess what!!!! this will also have basis in canon!!!! gasp. shock. it's almost like stories exist for a wide variety of people to interpret them however they want to and i'm back to my philosophy on how we interpret stories in general stay on task luvo this is already too long.

so. recap. there aren't a lot of aro/ace characters who exist. often, their sexualities are reliant on coding due to the nature of the identity, and confirmation if it exists is often found behind the scenes instead of in the media. relatively, there isn't a lot of aro/ace fic on ao3. within that aro/ace fic, there's often relationships tagged with the typically romantic and/or sexual slash.

let's talk about aro/ace characters written in relationships of the romantic, sexual, and queerplatonic variety. mostly the queerplatonic variety. look, the thing is that sometimes it's easier to write a good story explicitly about being aro/ace if it's also a story about finding a queerplatonic relationship. sometimes it's easier to write a good story about being aro/ace if it's a story about finding a romantic and/or sexual relationship. writing the story comes down to the same reason so many aro/ace people struggle to find their identities in the first place: how do you find something that isn't there? sometimes, you do that by focusing on what is there.

let's keep going down this train. there aren't a lot of aro/ace characters. there are a hundred million different unique and complicated ways to have a romantic, sexual, queerplatonic, or straight up platonic relationship. Every single story written about aro/ace characters in relationships of any kind will resonate with someone, whether that's the person who wrote it, or someone who will read it. people write fic about characters in queerplatonic relationships that are exactly like what would generally be considered a conventional romantic relationship, and the only difference is that the characters refer to it as a queerplatonic relationship. thinking ungenerously, maybe this fic was written by an allo writer who just wanted to write a ship. The thing about fanfiction and its growing popularity, is that i would put money on the fact that this has happened, and at least one aspec reader stumbled upon it and their mind was blown and they felt seen.

the first fic i ever wrote with an aroace character tag was 1.8k words, posted over a year ago, and quite honestly i don't think it's very good. i wrote a second fic with the same character tagged as aroace again almost half a year ago, and again, not one of my personal favorites. but I got comments on those fics where someone felt seen, and were happy that they got to see this character be aroace, and were happy to see that this character got a happy ending, if a nontraditional one.

and remember when i brought up the slash fic under the aromantic tag? if you look under the tag Queerplatonic relationships, at the time i'm writing this there are 14,400 works. 5,941 of those are gen, the rest fall into m/m, f/f, m/f, multi, and other. the thing is, there isn't a signifier for queerplatonic relationships. a lot of the time to indicate one, authors on ao3 will use &, /, or a combination, or whatever. the fact of the matter is that the words romantic, platonic, and queerplatonic are doing so much work to carry such a wide variety of how a relationship is expressed, and even if there was a symbol to indicate queerplatonic relationships, (which there are in some places. the comic fan fiction author archive uses ~ to indicate qprs,) there are a hundred thousand different ways for qprs to look like.

um so. i started writing this like maybe 2 or 3 or more hours ago and i don't even know if i have or have ever had a point and this is extremely rambly and not organized in the slightest, but if i do have a point, it's something like:

there aren't a lot of aromantic characters. there aren't a lot of asexual characters. there aren't a lot of aro/ace coded characters. there definitely aren't enough to encompass the incomprehensible number of ways that people can experience or express their identities, and there are never going to be. the human experience is too wonderfully diverse for that, and it's too difficult to distill into the pitifully small vocabulary we have. my point might be to touch grass. by which i mean, don't like don't read, and remember that people are just that: people, with lives and worlds and perspectives of their own, and some of them you will never be able to understand, and sometimes you're not meant to understand them, and they are deserving of love regardless.

[ezekiel13]

What if you’re not aro/ace in 10 years.

Then I’ll stop identifying as aro or ace. It’s fine. My identity can shift and change. And I will have been happy back when I thought I was and I will continue to be happy.

[prince-liest]

I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)

Even though I know logically that��s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2) That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3) If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4) Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)

The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.

I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.

But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.

Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.

And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.

In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

[xeilon]

Warframe 1999 thoughts:

When we were playing as Elenor, and "Numb" started playing? FUCKING. CHILLS. 10/10 no comments. DE do more of these moments please.

Also when we were waiting for Elenor, and the great despair started playing. Honestly just the music in this update. MY GOD.

Quincy's see you soon momma? I'm crying? Why would you do this to me Warframe???

'Are you more of a child than your other?' is a very funny thing to ask from a guy who spent all his life that he remembers of in a children story book. And spent that time dying every morning. Literally learnt to FEEL ANYTHING AGAIN a few years ago. Like. Yes. Actually. He might be more of a child than his other, idk.

'Not my type' and 'The weakpoint of your plan. Love.' Yes please spell it out for the people in the back (they gonna keep ignoring it) 'My faithful man-cat' (Loid, do you wanna tell me something, I won't judge I swear)

The 1999 dating experience, by me, an aroace romance and sex repulsed (when it involves me, or I have to play it out) idiot who decided to try to play my Drifter faithfully to how I imagine him to be (also somewhere on the aro and ace spectrum), but also decided to try to romance Quincy for shits and giggles:

• Me: I can do this

• Quincy: Something something I'm keeping my secrets until I can whisper them in your ear

Me: I can't do this

Anyways 10/10 update, love the new base, love the new skins, love the new characters, would love it if there was an 'I'm not interested in physical intimacy' conversation, but like. I know better than to hope for that, lol.

[hhaechansmoless]

Strawberry Sunscreen

pairing: lee seokmin x fem!reader

genre: fluff, romance

description: Seokmin is intent on making this year's valentines day a day to remember and maybe one way to do that is by writing you a song

w/c: 2.6k

a/n: would definitely recommend listening to the song Strawberry Sunscreen by lostboycrow. This is written for the valentines day event by kstrucknet. I know it's late, but I hope you guys enjoy it anyways!! unedited

When Seokmin asked you to be his valentine on the 28th of January — way too early in your opinion— you knew he’d done it because he couldn’t hold himself back. The excitement of what he’d prepared for you had been bubbling up for days, maybe even weeks. There was no way he'd wait until valentines week to ask you.

Thinking back to that day makes you giggle as you wait for Seokmin to emerge from your shared bedroom. Still in your dress from dinner, you feel a bit tipsy as you stare at the checkered tablecloth that lays folded on the sofa. We really need to put the clothes in their places, you think to yourself. Usually you’d sigh with such a thought, but today is Valentine’s day, which means that you’ve had good food and you’ve had enough wine to fill you with a fuzzy warmth (not that Seokmin lacks anything in that department) but not enough to send you crying to your pillow like most of the times you drink.

From the shuffling and the muffled bang you hear from your bedroom, you confirm that Seokmin is a little tipsy too. “Seok, are you fine?” You call out, mirth in your voice as you kick off your heels and tuck your feet under yourself. You didn’t notice the cold since you had Seokmin’s blazer on, but now goosebumps rise on your arms and you rub them up and down to warm yourself up. 

Seokmin finally walks out with his guitar in one hand and your pullover (read: your father’s from 10 years ago) that you love to pieces. You gasp, thanking him before pulling it over your head. Seokmin pats down your hair before settling on the couch next to you and begins pretending to tune his guitar.

You eye him curiously, “Are you planning to serenade me?”

“Obviously,” Seokmin grins, but his lips quiver slightly and it makes you melt.

“Are you nervous, Seok?” You coo, “Come on! You’ve sung to me so many times before. And besides, if you’re trying to serenade me, shouldn’t you go and do it outside so that I can come stand at the window?”

He stares at you, a little mortified but fully looking like he was thinking about doing it.

You scoff, hitting him on the arm, “No, you silly. Your voice is amazing but I doubt you’d want to sing on the streets at 11 p.m,” You raise an eye, “Would you?”

“No.” Seokmin admits with a dramatic frown before smiling, “Anyways. I wrote you a song.”

Your jaw drops, heart instantly jumping against your ribcage, “Shut up, you didn’t.”

“Did so,” Seokmin smiles before strumming the strings of his guitar, “I really hope you like it.”

What's your type?

She'll paint a cabinet from the 60s

And find diamonds when she's thrifting

Seokmin could never, ever forget about his first date with you. Well, that’s what you like it to call it but he’s never going to let that be the first date when he hadn’t even asked you out.

The two of you met at a matchmaking / painting workshop thing that your friends had dragged you to. Seokmin knew what he’d been getting into because Soonyoung had practically begged him for weeks to accompany him to it. You, on the other hand, had thought it was just a workshop for upcycling old and antique furniture. 

Seokmin still remembers the pure confusion on your face as you found out the two of you were paired up, turning to your friend and whispering in hushed voices, brows furrowed as you got to know the truth. For a moment, Seokmin had thought you didn’t like the fact that the two of you were together. At first glance, he’d though you were the prettiest person he’d ever seen, in your hand painted dungaree, hair tied up into a ponytail that swayed gently as you skipped around in excitement behind your friend.

But when you walked up to the station he was at, a small smile on your face, Seokmin could swear he’d felt his heart do a little gymnastic warm-up.

You’d introduced yourself to him before asking if the two of you could start picking out what you wanted to paint. Midway through the search, your eyes raking over each and every corner of the store and Seokmin’s completely entranced by you, you’d suggested an idea.

“Hey, why don’t we both pick one piece and then paint it for the other to take home?”

Seokmin’s mouth had opened slightly at this, a little surprised, “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, why not? You only live once, it’ll be fun, come on!”

You had grabbed his hand then, asking if he could pick up a mini cabinet that you’d seen, saying you hoped he had space for it at home. Seokmin now wonders what you would’ve said then if he’d told you that— in that moment, and forever onwards— he’d have space for anything that was you.

He’d picked a vase for you, the same one that now sat on top of your coffee table, the flowers that he gave in the morning neatly arranged inside it. He’d painted it a soft blue before you let it randomly slip that your favourite colour was actually yellow. He’d find out later that it was because you loved everything to do with it. The sun, the honey, the flowers. So he had turned away from you, hiding the vase as he painted a million little suns on it.

The cabinet you picked sat in your shared room, the paint and varnish beginning to chip off. But it was still one of the last things he saw before going to bed and one of the first after getting up and Seokmin wouldn’t have it any other way.

Meet me under the movie screen

I'll kiss your face in the dark

Don't really care if it's too soon to say

But I like the way you pull me apart

The first time Seokmin had kissed you was at a movie night hosted by one of your friends. The two of you had been hanging out a lot, not really putting a name to whatever was going on between you, but he thought that this was a defining step— getting invited as your plus one to an intimate gathering with your friends. 

You’d gone to the old theater in the city, rented out for the night by Jihyo, that was playing a late-night double feature of classic films. The movie was a black-and-white romantic comedy, the kind of film where the couple always found their way to each other by the end. 

One of the things Seokmin liked about you was the way you were never afraid to speak your thoughts. You were completely at ease, occasionally whispering sarcastic comments about the movie, your breath tickling his neck and making him forget how to breathe.

Halfway through the second movie, the screen had flickered, the audio warping for a second before cutting out completely. Confused murmurs rippled through the small crowd as the image froze, the actors’ faces stuck mid-laugh.

Jihyo had groaned somewhere behind you, “I hoped this wouldn’t happen. Sorry, guys! I’ll go find someone to fix it.”

You had turned to Seokmin, eyebrows raised. “Wanna go check it out? We might as well be nosy.”

Seokmin had been wary. He wasn’t usually the daring type. But if he’d learned anything about himself in the past few weeks, it was that he’d do anything you asked him to.

The two of you had slipped out of your seats, ducking through a side door that led behind the screen. The space had been cramped and dimly lit, the glow from the frozen movie scene casting eerie shadows on the walls.

“Honestly, this is kind of creepy,” You had muttered lowly, eyeing the tangled mess of wires and old projectors, “I dream about stuff like this and it usually ends with me dying or something.”

Seokmin had laughed, hands gripping your shoulders as he led you to the only lit projector, “I’ll protect you, don’t worry,” He’d dramatically grunted.

You had rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the smile that crept onto your face. “How heroic of you.”

He’d bent down to inspect the projector, pretending to analyze the mess of buttons and wires as if he actually understood any of it. In reality, he’d been hyper-aware of you kneeling beside him, so close your shoulders brushed.

Seokmin’s breath had caught in his throat. He’d glanced sideways, his eyes tracing the curve of your cheek, the slope of your nose, the way your lashes fluttered as you blinked. You were close—too close. He hadn’t meant to stare, but he couldn’t help it.

When you turned, Seokmin had frozen, hearing his heart pounding in his ears. He’d tried to say something casual, something funny, hoping you’d laugh his nervousness off, but his mind had gone blank. 

Wait, no. Not blank. Just empty of any thoughts other than how inviting your lips looked right now. 

He brought his gaze back up to your eyes as soon as he realized he was staring at your lips, but it had been quite obvious that you had noticed.

Your eyes had widened just slightly, but you hadn’t pulled away. If anything, you’d leaned in closer, your breath warm against his cheek.

Seokmin had swallowed hard, every nerve in his body on high alert. He could’ve sworn the world had gone completely silent, the hum of the projector and the confusion of your friends on the other side of the screen fading into nothingness.

He’d leaned in slow, hesitant, giving you ample time to pull away. But you stayed there, eyes shut and waiting for him.

The first touch was soft, delicate, like a question. And then you’d answered, pressing back just enough for Seokmin’s heart to lurch, his hand instinctively reaching out to steady himself, his fingers grazing your arm.

His mind had gone blank—really blank this time, every thought evaporating as he kissed you. You were warm, your lips soft and sweet. He could taste the coke float on your lips, dizzying and addictive. He’d tasted some from your glass too, but god, it seemed to be much better right now.

Seokmin’s hand had moved before he could think, fingers brushing your jaw before curling at the nape of your neck, holding you closer. You’d sighed softly against his lips, and the sound had sent a shiver down his spine.

When you finally pulled back, your eyes fluttering open, Seokmin had just stared at you, trying to catch his breath. He knew he must’ve looked like an idiot—wide-eyed and stunned—but he couldn’t help it. His heart was racing, pulse thrumming in his ears, and all he could think about was how he wanted to kiss you again.

You’d smiled, lips swollen, eyes sparkling in the dim light. “So… did you fix it?” you’d teased, nodding towards the projector.

Seokmin blinked, trying to remember why the two of you were even behind the screen in the first place. His mouth opened, closed, then opened again. “Uh… yeah,” he finally managed, the word coming out more like a croak. “Fixed it. Totally. We’re… we’re good.”

You’d laughed, gentle and sweet, leaning in to peck him on the cheek before standing up. “Good to know, hero.”

Taste the strawberry sunscreen

Laughing at songs from the 90s

The soft brown light over the kitchen island and the buzzing, harsh orange from the street lights outside were the only sources of light, casting shadows that danced along the walls. It was late, too late for music, but that hadn’t stopped you from blasting some old 90s playlist through the crackling speaker on the counter.

Seokmin leaned against the fridge, arms crossed as he watched you sway to the beat, your hair loose and messy, your bare feet padding softly against the cold tiles. You were singing along, off-key and dramatic, purposely exaggerating the words just to make him laugh.

“Are you just gonna stand there staring, or are you gonna come dance with me?”

You were grinning at him now, arms outstretched as you swayed dramatically to the music. Seokmin couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head. “This isn’t dancing. You’re just flailing around.”

“All the more reason for you to come and teach me!” You’d gasped.

Much closer to you, Seokmin could smell the strawberry scent of his sunscreen that you would insist on putting on. Even though it was winter now, it would remind you that summer wasn’t so far away.

Seokmin had laughed at that, but now he understood. The scent was intoxicating, sweet and nostalgic, like a memory he didn’t know he had. He’d leaned in, his nose brushing your hair in a way that he knew tickled you. He’d earned a smack on the arm for it, but the tiny tinkling laughter of yours that followed was always, always worth it.

You’d squealed as he spun you around, your laughter echoing off the kitchen walls. The song had changed to something faster and Seokmin had followed your lead, matching your energy as he twirled you under his arm, laughing when you stumbled into his chest. You were breathless, cheeks flushed, eyes bright as you looked up at him. 

“You’re ridiculous,” you panted, a giggle slipping out as you tried to catch your breath.

He grinned, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pulled you closer. “Takes one to know one.”

“Hey,” you murmured, your fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I love you, you know that?”

He’d heard you say it before, so many times, but it still made his chest ache, still made him feel like the luckiest person in the world.

“Yeah,” he whispered, his voice low and a little shaky. “I know.”

You leaned back, your nose brushing his as your lips curved into a smile. “Good. Just making sure.”

Seokmin had laughed, his forehead resting against yours. “I love you too.”

You had kissed him then, soft and slow, your lips warm against his. His hands had tightened around your waist as he fell back slightly, making you smile into his lips. With your hand splayed against his chest, feeling the rapid thud of his heartbeat beneath your palm, he’d thought for the umpteenth time. There was no place he’d rather be.

See what it's like to be loved

When he looks back up at you, strumming the last chord of the song, he’s not surprised to see tears in your eyes.

He sets the guitar aside, a soft smile playing on his lips as he stands and closes the distance between you. His thumbs gently brush the tears from your cheeks, his touch warm and familiar.

“You’re such a sap,” you tease, your voice wobbling as you laugh, swiping at the last of your tears.

You let yourself melt into him, breathing him in, feeling the warmth of his embrace seep into your bones. It’s steady and familiar, grounding you in a way nothing else can.

“Thank you,” you murmur, voice muffled against his chest. “I loved it.”

“Happy Valentines day, honey,” Seokmin smiles into your hair, pressing a little kiss.

You laugh, the sound light and full of joy as you pull away from him for a moment, “Happy Valentines day, indeed.”

And as he pulls you in again, you think that maybe you’ve finally seen what it’s like to be loved.

[queerfables]

Still thinking Polyfire thoughts about aro Eddie platonically proposing to Buck, and Buck and Tommy deciding to spend the rest of their lives together with him.

Today I am thinking about Tommy and Buck calling each other "boyfriend" even after they've been together 10 years just to be annoying about how happily unmarried they are. Plus, Eddie and Tommy would get such a kick out of referring to each other as "my husband's boyfriend"/"my boyfriend's husband".

[hyperref-lex-ia]

I don’t think yall get it about w2h2 and me. My fiancé and I have a wild story that starts with the og w2h. I met them at a convention dressed as Sock at 16 and we hung out along with some other new friends and then we didn’t talk again for 7 years. We continued going to the same conventions but missed each other at every one without second thought. We were just passing faces at cons that had once hung out but that’s not uncommon in the scene.

Then they moved 7 hours away from their old home, to 10 minutes away from my apartment. We got “introduced” by a friend and hit it off really well. I didn’t realize at the time but I hadn’t ever felt romantic attraction before. Falling in love with them helped me realize I am mostly aro, ironically.

The first night we hung out was a sleepover, we shared a bed. We haven’t not shared a bed since that first night aside from a handful of times. They came over to my place literally the next night. They stayed over every night and then suddenly they were moving in. We weren’t even dating but they were on my lease sharing my bed.

We start dating and then I find a picture of them at 16 years old dressed as Sock Sowachowski and I go “what the fuck”.

Now we’re engaged for over a year and I see w2h2 pop up on my suggested on our tv in our 3rd apartment together and I run to our bedroom and shake them awake (because this is important) and I tell them and they’re like “holy shit” and ask me to wait for them to watch. Tonight we sat down on our couch and watched the sequel to the thing that started it all and it felt surreal.

I never thought I would live like this and I never thought I deserved any love when I watched the first one the first time. Here I am surrounded by people who love me. I wish 2016 me could see me now.