#follow me if you vibe with any of this?
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the basics
early 30s ⦁ united states (midwest) ⦁ non-binary ⦁ bisexual ⦁ polyamorous ⦁ parent
a few of my favorite things
fanfiction / fanart ⦁ roleplaying ⦁ crochet ⦁ art ⦁ video games ⦁ music ⦁ documentaries ⦁ 90s/00s nostalgia ⦁ nature ⦁ animals ⦁ cottage core aesthetic ⦁ tattoos (even though I only have one) ⦁ history ⦁ architecture
the fandoms -in no particular order-
doctor who ⦁ x-files ⦁ fringe ⦁ portal ⦁ good omens ⦁ lord of the rings ⦁ stardew valley ⦁ the sims ⦁ the last of us ⦁ mass effect ⦁ dragon age ⦁ i think you should leave ⦁ avatar: the last airbender ⦁ the legend of korra ⦁ clannad ⦁ fruits basket ⦁ the simpsons ⦁ 90s cartoons ⦁ fallout ⦁ community ⦁ it's always sunny in philadelphia ⦁ telltale games ⦁ spongebob ⦁ the pendragon adventure ⦁ firefly ⦁ friends ⦁ ouran high school host club ⦁ star wars ⦁ jurassic park ⦁ i'll update as i go because i'll always be missing something
⟡ dividers from saradika-graphics ⟡
bonus round
if you read this far and decided you wanted to know more, thanks and i'm sorry? here's some more specific fun facts for you:
sufferer of chronic major depression and general anxiety with a touch of cptsd
HoH / hearing aid wearer
undiagnosed but heavily relate with audhd
graysexual
daily cannabis smoker (aka: stoner)
sagittarius sun, libra moon, libra rising
i wrote glee fanfiction 10+ years ago that is published on ff.net. i don't link it because it's old and bad and i'm a better writer now. but if you're interested or just curious, message me, and i'll link my ff.net profile. just remember: i warned you it's not good.
i have an artblr and writeblr, and also i like to make dumb memes about writing and dumb memes about trauma.
#doctor who#good omens#stardew valley#spongebob#mass effect#dragon age#portal#the last of us#avatar the last airbender#the legend of korra#fallout#clannad#fruits basket#ouran high school host club#i think you should leave#lord of the rings#fringe#x files#the simpsons#queer#depression#follow me if you vibe with any of this?#i'll like your posts but probably be too shy to actually talk to you so it's a totally chill vibe here
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💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖
For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!
The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^
What's been added to the 3.5 version?
📺 Streamer Mode!
I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.
Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh
This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!
⚙️ Custom Pronouns!
It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;
Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!
💗 Choose how others perceive you!
You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.
For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!
📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!
You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3
Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!
I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;
I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao
📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!
You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!
Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!
I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;
It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)
🖤 Additional Scenes Update!
Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!
If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.
After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga
🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!
I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!
I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.
Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.
How to download and play the update?
(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!
Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)
Enjoy!!
#14 days with you#14dwy#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — updates.#🖤 — spoilers.#I'm not gonna say much about my current doxxing situation because I've got it under control now + it's being handled privately#Plus I don't wanna give it/the people involved any unnecessary attention. I just wanna announce the update and Get Back To It™️#(''it'' bein the grind 💪 It never stops lmao /silly)#OG followers will also know that these topics aren't the vibe I normally have on this blog (or any of my accounts); so I don't think I'll—#—make ANOTHER public post about the situation and bring more attention to it (when I just want everything to be over and put to rest ^^;)#However I also don't want people to think that I'm... ignoring?? the situation entirely (because gettin doxxed is a very endangering thing)#So I DO want to quickly acknowledge it here and say that it's all currently handled + I'm safe and okay + this won't stop me from—#—continuing to work on 14DWY (and other future projects). I also don't want to give these awful people more power and incentive to continue#—this kind of pathetic behaviour; so the less attention and encouragement being shown will ultimately be better in the long run :3#Aaaaaanways!! 😮💨#My other accounts will be restored shortly and my askbox will be opened once I feel comfortable. I'll get around to following folks—#—again in my own time; so please don't feel offended if I unfollowed you during a moment of vulnerability and anxiety!!#This is all EXTREMELY overwhelming and scary for someone with SAD/AvPD; and I /gen can't handle seeing it all over my timeline ;v;#Sorry this got ranty and personal again hjdsgjsdh T_T I said I wouldn't say much; so I'll shut up now hehe#🖤 — shut up sai.
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Horse Yaoi trotted so Horsegirl Yuri could fly.
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#equineswap au#wei wuxian#lan wangji#little apple#xiao pingguo#lan wunian#This is the first and second kiss I've ever drawn. And its horse yaoi and horsegirl yuri. Wouldn't want it any other way tbh.#And with that...Horse week has come to a close#Not the end of this AU mind you; I'll still throw some doodles in here & there and reblog any fanart#The concept behind this was to make something with the vibes of that one picture with the guys holding girls up on their shoulders#so the girls can kiss. And the guys are kissing too. I hope someone knows what I'm talking about.#Maybe one day I'll draw the unswapped version. Ill flip a coin to decide whether or not wangxian are carrying their equines or riding them#Thank you all so much for the extremely enthusiastic reception to my equineswap AU#The love for both sides of the swap has blow me away. These designs have been sitting around for a while and I wasn't sure I'd post them.#In the end it became a way to celebrate a follower milestone *and* this blog's 3 month anniversary#also...It has been a hard few weeks and I needed something light and fun. I really mean it when I say “you guys helped me pull through”#Love you all B'*)
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wanted to draw fanart for @remxedmoon's isatscryption au but i realised i didn't actually know the plot yet which. whoops! so i settled for chucking my oc at it
OH YEAH INSCRYPTION IS 60% OFF ATM!! Consider this my official propaganda to go get this game
#siffrin was so unexpectedly hard to draw?? i kept making them lopsided :sob:#got there in the end though and i'm happy with it#ok details time!!#the wolf and raven cards are meant to represent lucas (oc in the comic) and foxglove (their alternate) version respectivly#lucas is normally fox coded but siffrin's taking that role atm and there's no fox card anyway soo#even without the talking card aspect (or even the 'this isn't meant to be in the game aspect') they would have taken wanderer anyway#they prefer bone decks#something something sacrifices. and it takes longer to set up; they're stalling the game as long as possible#whereas foxglove buffs the fuck out of their starter cards and abuses fair hand#the constelation vulpecula is in here!#both for loop since that's their card in this au and bcse it's significant to lucas#i didn't realise siffrin had a bindle until i started drawing. fully ready to believe they just got a Big Stick for pure vibes#i love drawing wood grain#that's not significant in any way but i just like drawing it#fun pattern#anyway that's a lot of yapping to say i hope you like it!!#following the au with great interest and i can't wait to see where it goes especially plot wise#will probably draw more fanart as it unfolds but don't hold me to that (the brain demons control motivation)#my art#art#nach0 art#oc: lucas#oc#the realmleaper#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#in stars and time siffrin#in stars and scrybes#isatscryption
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www!reader WILL call batman a pussy for not killing on her private twitter. she does it like every other day. its cathartic
#sophie speaks#series:www#all of the batfam: i have a very complicated relationship with the idea of killing as i follow a code that i know has caused thousands of-#lost lives and hurt people. but i still follow it because i know its the right thing to do#reader and jason: what like a baby???#i actually wrote www!reader to reflect all of the guys like... worst traits#shes obsessive like tim ignores her problems like dick is completely consumed by vengeance like jason and just generally petty like damian#hand in unlovable hand#and you havent seen readers more petty side yet but believe me you WILL#her and damians interactions always crack me up because they're just so.#genuinely miserable around each other but both too stubborn to concede any ground#damian: i think ur here to cause trouble and steal things#reader: i am literally working at a soup kitchen. ur only allowed to bitch if u help#which of course he does hes a good boy but the soup kitchen definitely has a weird vibe when the two of them are around#u dont have to worry about ur own problems look at these two obviously emotionally incompetent people bickering with eachother#anyways what was i saying
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'Where are the he/him lesbians in media' does greg universe mean nothing to you
#JOKE JOKE THIS IS A JOKE#unless...?#inspired by this current fiasco (my last reblog)#steven universe#greg universe#but fr that guy had some sort of gender crisis at SOME point i guarantee it#theres just something about his vibe#yknow??#hes like a sweet old man that youd find in a bar. Looking kind of lost..#newly divorced you wonder? Maybe finally getting the chance to experiment.. couldnt hurt to lend an ear#and then you talk to him one minute and learn that NO this man(?) has been to So many gay bars#and has met queer people you wouldnt even /imagine/#literally!! because then these 3 bright colored hipster ladies come out and greet him like an old friend and youre like 'oh...'#and then you learn his dead wife was apparently an ex alien princess or something. You dont even know#you would be far less pressed to believe it if the purple one didnt just swallow a martini glass whole#''yknow being a man isnt all that it's cracked up to be kid''#''sometimes you gotta follow your heart.. like me!!''#''and i know i look like any run of the mill boring old man but you know what they say.''#''theres a bit of magic in all of us ey? you just gotta invite it in :)''#and then him and pearl make out sloppy styledhgdhdhGSGHDGDHHDG sorry
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The stuff of fairytales ✨
Treat me ~ Tip me
#Treat me (amazon wishlist) ~ Tip (pypl) me (cshpp)#follow my new blog(s) if you wanna#Any reblogs or tips or treats would really boost my spirits right now 🥺#Satans knitwear#Alt pinup#Pinup girl#Pretty lingerie#My gif to you#Red lace lingerie#Underbust corset#Vintage corset#fairytale vibes#Opera gloves#Black satin gloves#Lace top stockings#Thigh harness
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I just wanted to translate a lil' bit of this book I was reading, because I didn't realise just how many poems (in the case of this book, Tang dynasty poems) have been lost to the ravages of time, and what a miracle it is that we even have a 唐诗三百首 today. Short note from me about translation approach is at the end under the cut.
唐诗寒武纪
王晓磊 (六神磊磊) 著
ISBN: 978-7-5302-2250-8
The Cambrian Age of Tang Poems by Author Wang Xiaolei (ISBN: 978-7-5302-2250-8)
Chapter 1
Do you know how fortunate you are to be able to read Tang poems today?
我志在删述,垂辉映千春。- 李白
My ambition is as grand as when Confucius compiled The Book of Poems, so that the radiance of my poems may shine a thousand springs from now.
At a time 400 years ago from the present day, during the Tianqi Era (1621-1628) of the Ming Dynasty, when Eunuch Wei Zhongxian’s (魏忠贤)authority could eclipse the heavens-
In the Haiyan district of the Zhejiang Province, there was an old man who silently shed his official’s robes, and folded them neatly. This was a set of blue robes embroidered with white pheasants, signifying that he was a fifth-rank court official.
Outside, someone yelled, “Official Hu, why haven’t you come out yet! We’re waiting to escort you to De Zhou so you can take up your post there!”
“Take up my post?” The old gentleman gave a small smile, then muttered to himself, “Goodbye, court politics! I have long grown weary of you. I’m going back to my hometown, and spending the rest of my years completing a very important matter- to compile the most complete set of Tang poems, so that there will no longer be any left out, so that no longer will there be any lost to the ages, so that our descendents can read them all!”
Let us remember the name of this old gentleman: Hu Zhenheng (胡震亨).
Perhaps it is very difficult for people of the present day to understand - wasn’t he just wanting to make a compilation of poems, was that really so difficult? Did he need to really go this hard? Actually, yes. Back in that time period, it really was that difficult. During that time, there were no publishing companies, printing factories, libraries, or convenient search engines. If you wanted to look up a poem, you’d have to pore through countless scrolls, you may even need to trek over mountains and cross rivers just to be able to make a copy - and even after all that, you may not even have been able to make that copy.
If Ol’ Hu slacked off, and didn’t make this Tang poetry compilation, what would have happened? The answer to that is, that the consequences would have been very dire.
At that time, Tang poetry was already starting to go extinct just like how our flora and fauna species are going into mass extinction today. According to Hu Zhenheng’s estimations, at least half of all Tang poetry had already been lost.
Perhaps you are thinking, how the hell does poetry just go missing? As long as the poet is good enough, as long as the poem is good enough, then wouldn’t such works just be passed down through the ages, and be able to endure, that way?
It really doesn’t work like that.
Let me ask you a very broad question: out of all of the Tang poems, which one is the best? Perhaps many people will respond, off the top of their heads, “A night of moonlit blossoms on the river in spring” (春江花月夜“). This poem is lauded as the “a singular page eclipses the entire Tang dynasty” poem of poems, after all. Well then, who is the author of this fine poem? Many of you readers can answer, Zhang Ruoxu(张若虚).
This Mister Zhang has written such a great work, and has made such a great contribution to Tang Poetry. Well then, how many of his poems remain today? A hundred poems? Eighty? The answer will shock you - merely two of his poems remain today.
The only reason “A night of moonlit blossoms on the river in spring” was able to be passed down to the present day, is really nothing more than a giant fluke. It was thanks to a very accidental opportunity, that when people in the Song dynasty were compiling a book of songs and ballads for their music bureau, they recorded this very poem by Zhang Ruoxu into the compilation, and enabled it to be passed down through the ages.
Apart from two poems, all the other works created by Zhang Ruoxu in his lifetime, do not exist today.
Now let me ask you another similar question: out of the pentasyllabic quatrain poems (五言绝句)in the Tang dynasty , which one is the best? Many will immediately respond, “Climbing White Stork Tower” (登鹳雀楼). Yes, the one which everyone recited as a child - the sun sets against the mountains, the yellow river flows into the sea” (白日依山尽,黄��入海流). Its author is recognised by most people as Wang Zhihuan (王之涣).
So then, how many poems has the great poet Wang Zhihuan left behind? The answer will again flabbergast you as you read it: there are only six poems left behind, the rest are all gone.
Within a thousand years, we do not know how many lines like “the sun sets against the mountains (白日依山尽)”, and “the tides of the ocean and the moon rise in tandem (海上明月共潮生)” have been lost to the ages forever.
The misfortunes of our friends Wang Zhihuan and Zhang Ruoxu, were not mere happenstance.
How many poems of Li Bai (李白)have lived on to see the light of today? The most pessimistic takes say that, about one-tenth of all his poems exist today.
This great genius has been writing poetry all his life, so estimates of his total poem count sits at around five thousand to ten thousand poems. For every ten of his poems, we may never ever be able to read eight or nine of them.
Before passing away, Li Bai had sorted out all of the drafts and writings he had made in his lifetime, and solemnly entrusted it all to his uncle (族叔), Li Yangbing (李阳冰), and asked that he compile them into volumes, so that it can be passed down through generations. Li Yangbing did not fail Li Bai’s wishes, and poured his heart into compiling the Thatched Cottage Anthologies (草堂集)of which there were ten scrolls … which then subsequently got lost to the ages in the Song Dynasty.
Now let’s talk about Du Fu (杜甫)。Essentially all the poems written by this similarly great poet before the age of forty, have been lost to the ages. How long did Du Fu live? Until age fifty-eight. That is to say, that all the poems he wrote for most of his life, were all for nothing.
Another big shot, Wang Wei, (王维)fared no better. During the Kaiyuan era alone (713-741) he wrote hundreds if not thousands of poems. By the end, less than one-tenth of the total remained.
There are countless other examples. The early Tang poet, Song Zhiwen(宋之问)was big-name poet who established the foundations of regulated verse poetry. He had poetry volumes circulating during the Tang Dynasty, however the circulation still ended during the Jiajing era of the Ming dynasty, and was finally lost during the Wanli era. All twenty volumes of the writings of gifted female scholar-official, Shangguan Wan’er (上官婉儿), were entirely lost in the Song dynasty, and we only have thirty-two of her poems remaining today.
The poetry volumes written by one of the “Elite Fours” of the early Tang dynasty, Wang Bo (王勃),the genius who famously wrote “the hues of twilight fall in line with the solitary flight of a wild mallard (落霞与孤鹜齐飞)”, were arduously able to survive for a few hundred years, however, come the Ming dynasty, they were all completely lost all the same.
This is like saying that the complete works of Jing Yong (金庸)were all lost to the ages, and you would only be able to glean snippets and excerpts of his original writings from the column writings of Liushen Leilei (六神磊磊)to get your hit. Just the thought of it makes me want to cry.
The great Meng Haoran (孟浩然) can be counted as lucky. Shortly after he passed away, there were already people making compilations of his poems. Even so, many of his creations have still been lost. There is also the great Li Shangyin (李商隐), who wrote “the silkworm spins silk even ‘til death (春蚕到死丝方尽)” and “our hearts are connected through a singular nexus (心有灵犀一点通)” , who personally compiled forty-odd scrolls of his writings, however, those have all been lost, and not a single volume remains. His poems have all been scrabbled together piece-by-piece, by those after his time.
So, do you still think that those poems which have been lost to time, were lost purely because they were shoddy poems, of little worth, so no one wanted to remember them? Not at all. Even if they made a mark in their heyday, poems that are handed down will eventually be lost to time, all the same.
People in the Tang dynasty have recorded, that of Li Bai’s CiFu (辞赋)poetry, the poems Dapeng Fu (大鹏赋)and Hongyou Fu (鸿猷赋)were incredibly marvelous, so much so that they even surpassed the calibre of writings of the big guardians of CiFu poetry from the previous generation, Sima Xiangru (司马相如) and Yang Xiong (杨雄). Fortunately, we can read Dapeng Fu today, but … where is Hongyou Fu? Sorry, it’s gone, lost forever to the ravages of time.
Translator’s note:
There are many ways to do a translation, and this one is more for the vibes than for the “literal” translation - that is not to say it is inaccurate, but as someone who has translated for years from Japanese to English, or from time to time, Chinese to English (when I feel like it lol) I thought I’d state the purpose of this translation so you can get a sense of my choices here. I am translating this very casually and more for speed / for fun, it is a very pulling-words-off-the-top-of-my-head translation than the other kind of translation I do where I sit there for hours milling over a singular word. A partial reason for why I can do this style of translation is because the prose of the book itself is very conversational and casual (I will tangentially note, this writing style is kind of controversial with the Author’s other works that discuss poetry, as some readers view it as “low-brow”, but for me, I like it. I think it makes the content very digestible and accessible to readers who are new to poetry). This translation is for my buddies in the poetry club, who are mainly diaspora and/or can read Chinese to any extent anyway (in particular, I want to thank the funny and great @fwoopersongs, for always being here to chat poem stuff and making me interested in the lives of the poets and the context surrounding the poetry rather than just the poems themselves). As such, I will try to remember to include the Chinese characters for people’s names, so you can read it with the correct tones. I bought this book and started reading, and thought wow, this is cool, I want to share it. A lot of the Chinese terms here I’ve only thought about and experienced in Chinese, I don’t watch Mandarin-language shows with any subtitles, and I don’t typically experience other Chinese Media in English so I am not sure what the “standard” (if any) terms in English would be - it’s for the vibes, especially the parts where I am translating literal poetry. For example, the author pulls verses from poetry here to set the tone for the start of a chapter, so the goal of my translation here to make a translation that it conveys to the reader a reason why that verse was chosen, rather than the “perfect” way 千秋, 碧落,独倚 or a word like that is translated (or, for example, everyone let’s agree on a translation of the poem title 《春江花月夜》 - pain - lol). I do not think I can do any of these poetry translations justice, as poetry translations in any language is more like a feeling of the soul that you try to fit within the available confines of another language, hoping that the reader on the other side can experience something in their own individual way through your shared humanity rather than language alone. Also, I do have a lot of commentary and notes that I wanted to make but I might do that in a different place (maybe as footnotes) at another time, I don’t want to interrupt the flow of the reader by sticking my own comments everywhere.
#Chinese Poetry#anyway wow i got to 心有灵犀一点通 and I had Instant Regret that I thought Id translate any poetry yanno wow wsl#ponz translates#i mean im not about that life anymore but sometimes i feel like it#心血来潮zuo一下#you don't need to follow me for anything there is no consistent content on this chaotic blog#im just vibing with friends and watching dramas that catch my fancy
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"i want to give my blood and follow in your shadow."
i felt the need to doodle this scene from sannan-san hakumyu because like... it's just so endearing? shion's chizuru really captures the wholehearted dedicated pining she has for him in his route (i mean, you really gotta CHASE this man). honestly she's in top three of my favorite chizurus. and of course, teruma's sannan-san really did grow on me. i was used to mikata's sannan-san (since i'm a hakumyu boomer), but i adore both their portrayals and voices.
haven't drawn hakuouki in a hot minute, but it'll always have a special place in my heart.
#sannan keisuke#yukimura chizuru#hakuouki#hakumyu#sanchi#salmon arts#riri arts#honestly i could draw more from this musical but i chose the scene that isn't in the game but is unique to the performance#it was just... so good#i will say romance wise i felt it more from shion!chizuru than teruma!sannan-san but#it kinda fit the vibes#context so for some reason i've been just decided to keep playing the hakumyus in the background while i draw#i have looped sannan-san's hakumyu arc a billion times at this point#i still really do miss the original hakumyu cast members but the new ones have kinda grown on me#and in any case i have rewatched the older ones a lot too lmao#kazama-hen (first one) and heisuke-hen will always be my favorites#character wise sannan-san is still my bias tho lmao#well you already knew that if you've followed me for a while i'm just rambling for anyone new#anyway that's it i took a break to draw this scene because i felt the URGE#tsukikage no shou localization when?
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Ok hi!!!! I love all your takes on the characters and it's rlly interesting! I also think moash is a very nuanced and fascinating character. I'm kinda mad at him after he tried to convince Kal to k!ll himself but I think he's a great charcter with lots of depth and your pinned post was so interesting because it said so much about moash! Anyway sorry bye!!!
Hello!!! Thank you!! I apologize for inflicting that post on you, but I'm glad you read/enjoyed it! ty for letting me know <3<3<3
#i pinned it kinda as a joke but also bc i'd keep getting sent moash hate from new followers#and while there are many places in this fandom that are receptive to that. i am not really one of them.#man remember when i read ob in 2017 and liked it and so came onto the internet to draw characters from it w/ no knowledge of this fandom#i wasn't a moash-poster back then (all szeth all the time baby) but i was shocked by how everyone talked about one of my fav characters#these days there are plenty of people here who like him but back then i felt like i had to claw out a space for myself to discuss him#largely just felt that the kind of hate he got was counterproductive to any deeper discussions or critiques of the narrative#of course in present that essay mostly serves as a barrier to entry for new people following my blog#because the real question of course is how you guys keep finding me#it's sort of a ''come for the silly drawing you saw somewhere‚ stay for the erratic and long-winded discourse'' kind of vibe#anyway. always nice and flattering to meet new people. sorry i don't post much here anymore.#i make up for it how much i ramble in the tags tho
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Boy King AU | Vettonso + Martian | 1.3k
There's something about putting the future emperor of the Holy Realm on his knees like this. About how easily he goes, how willingly, how obediently. What would his adoring public think if they could see him now. If they saw their beloved king pressed down like this, in the cramped space between Fernando's legs. When they realized their little boy king took it like he was a little concubine instead.
Fernando's bitterness is lifted away in moments like these, like taking off a heavy cloak on a winter's day. It was hard to feel humiliated about his own situation when watching Sebastian debase himself like this.
He always gives himself up so easily. When Fernando threaded his fingers through his thick curls. When he pulled them, and then when he pressed his face down further down into the vee of his legs. Sebastian rubbed his cheek into the coarse fabric of Fernando's breeches and blinked up at him. Fernando had to smother an embarrassing sound; he was just like a little cat!
Sebastian quirked his lips up into an odd little smile and slightly rose up on his knees, "What's funny?" Fernando swallowed lightly and schooled his face back into being impassive, "Nothing. As you were." Sebastian simply smirked at him and let himself be pushed back down by the fist clenched in his hair.
Fernando scoffed internally, there was only so much pleasure in putting the other man in his place when he instead acted like this, this degrading action, was his birthright. He took to ruling and indulging in carnal pleasures as if they were of equal gravity. To be privileged to hold such high station and also let himself be taken apart like this…Fernando felt embarrassed for him.
He is dragged away from his musings when Sebastian moved to settle his hands in Fernando's lap, clutching his hips over the fabric and slightly squeezing; Fernando fought against the urge to shiver. Sebastian pushed up the skirt of Fernando's waistcoat and smoothed his hands over the opening flap of his breeches.
His eyes darted up at Fernando again, a daft smile on his face. Fernando scowled at him, "What?" Seb's grin sharpened, "You could stand to be a little more gracious. This is your future emperor, and future husband might I add, kneeling for you on this dirty, depraved, derelict- ah–" Fernando tugged on his hair again and hissed, "Well then, why don't you show me how eager you are to perform your marital duties?"
Seb licked his lips, completely unconcerned by Fernando's annoyance, and unbuttoned one side of the closure to Fernando's breeches and moved to open the other–
The door to the carriage flew open, arrival announcement dying on a wheezing breath as the servant took in the image the two kings made. One splayed across the seat, exuding power, the other kneeled, debauched, between the former's legs.
One would be hard pressed to determine which was higher on the totem of power and titles.
There was something gratifying about this to Fernando, about being caught. He had been humiliated enough throughout the entire courtship, what was one more thing? And, certainly, what was one more thing if he could drag Sebastian down into the dirt with him.
"Oh Mark, don't act so abashed! It's nothing you haven't seen before, in fact, we have been in this very position not even a fortnight ago!"
Oh. Yes. That.
It was hard to be completely pleased when he remembered how Sebastian had already spent years prior to their engagement sampling the palace's ample selection of fellow high-born men. And how all those men seemed to be completely and utterly wrapped around his little finger.
Fernando released his hand from Sebastian's hair as if it had burned him. He did not understand why he felt ashamed with Mark looking in on them like this. Fernando was the one marrying Sebastian, not Mark; Mark was just a lowly courtier who had the esteemed duty of spending practically every waking hour with the brat…something he himself was decidedly not looking forward to.
Sebastian stayed kneeling, staring impassively up at Mark, still fiddling with the clasp on Fernando's breeches. Fernando gritted his teeth and looked up from where he was watching Sebastian's clever little hands; Mark stared back at him placidly.
Mark's indifference made the entire situation worse. Fernando now felt as if he was not doing anything unique, not doing anything particularly new. How many other men had Mark caught Seb with in this exact position? Fernando felt like he was just another plaything of the boy king, soon to be boy emperor, except his position was forever, permanent. He was the "Kept King", the king who only kept his throne due to the whims of a boy who doesn't even understand what power is.
Mark coughed, "Well," he says, "Your Majesty, I do believe you have a meeting to attend." Seb pouted at him and whined, "We were just getting to the main course," but still braced himself on Fernando's thighs and got up off the carriage floor.
Seb pranced down the steps Mark had placed next to the carriage, miming tripping sown the stairs, snickering when his action made Mark reflexively reach out to grab him, and then playfully skipped off the final step.
Fernando couldn't help but stare as Mark made the weirdest grimace in response, and he inexplicably felt all his mortification seep away from him. Huh. Maybe Mark is-
Seb then turned around and frowned at him, seemingly disappointed, but his eyes are deceivingly sharp, "Fernando, I regret to inform you that I have other duties I must attend to, you will simply have to wait." He then grinned up at Mark next to him and giggled as the other man stiffened when Sebastian looped both of his arms through Mark's.
He leaned all his weight on the other man, Mark not so much as shifting his weight, "Oh Mark, won't you carry me back to the palace? I'm so very tired after all the horse riding," Seb looked up at him imploringly.
Fernando observed as Mark rolled his eyes and shrugged off the man, though notably not pulling his arm from Seb's grasp, and he got the distinct feeling that this exact scene had been played out countless times before.
Fernando clenched his jaw as he watched Seb turn and saunter off, Mark trotting alongside him like a loyal dog. Fernando was supposed to be the unaffected one in this partnership, the unflustered one, the unconcerned one. And yet here he stood, in broad daylight, in a foreign kingdom, on the steps of a carriage with his breeches half unbuttoned and his cravat in disarray.
He heard a cough from beside him, jolted and looked to the side. Sebastian's loyal Horse Master stood there, lounging against the side of the carriage. Fernando had forgotten who had even been driving the carriage in the first place. After Seb has let himself be pushed down, his hair still windswept from their ride together, everything else seemed to fade away. His thoughts were reduced only to how he could mess up the younger man's hair further.
Jenson grinned at him wolfishly, and casually crossed his legs, "First time?" he inquired. Fernando glared at him. The other man laughed openly at him, "What? He's a busy man with big prospects. You're not his majesty's only conquest, you know. Now your throne on the other hand…"
Fernando seethed, it was one thing to be humiliated by the future emperor, but to be patronized by the king's horse boy? No. It would simply not do. He closed his eyes in annoyance, pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaled, and prepared a speech about how he was not about to be talked down to by a man who didn't even have a throne to speak of!
But when he opened his eyes again and opened his mouth to begin his tirade, Jenson was already wandering away to tend to the horses. Dios mío, Fernando was not mentally prepared to spend the rest of his life with all of these impertinent morons.
#i love how i kept saying to people: no no i shant write any fic for this. only art.#me like two weeks later: hey guys :)#this is just: i was sitting in class and had a drawing idea but then im obv not drawing *this* in class so my brain went into narrative mod#not exactly 'baby's first ficlet!!!' but moreso ive not written in a while so i hope its alright???#but aaahhh this was actually pretty fun!! idk i think it was bcs i was also being brainrotted by the image of seb kneeling....#maybe ill draw it. but it felt like something that needed the context of narrative and not just oo here is a drawing!#anyways you can always ask me for a directors cut-(PLEASE PLEAE BEGGING PLEASE)#see this is why im not cut out for writing fic#its not like i dont think it can speak for itself. more that im just an overly reflective person who wants to explain all my thoughts#if i wrote fic itd really be just: chapter 1. chapter 1.5 chapter 2. chapter 2.5#anyways i think its pretty obvious but this is before their wedding and just like peak bitterness.#well not peak. peak would be the first year- first few months of their marriage#but this is fernando who is only just realizing how naive all his expectations of seb were and getting a glimpse of his future#but mostly: mindgames and power play and: whos actually really winning?#also my god jense is literally the best chara in this au. he is vibing and basically just witnessing ye olde reality tv#mark and fernando are always in a weird powerplay with seb(even if seb isnt even consiously doing so) and jense is just free from it all#hmm now how does one go about tagging fic#vettonso#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#f1#formula 1#martian#sebmark#also idk why im always so concerned abt tagging when im basically just writing this for my little boy king following i have somehow formed#hahaha! it is art to me!:#catie.art.#boy king au
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Me normally: Let people love what they love
Me, after a Test Match Special commentator expresses their belief that the new All Creatures Great and Small is somehow "better" than the 1978 version: This is pure insanity and TMS can no longer be trusted on anything, how can they even be trusted to know about cricket, do they have no TASTE
#Look it's fine that this show exists and people will watch it and like it and that's ok maybe it's just not for me#But that was like a statement purely designed to piss me off#There were lots of issues with the 1978 adaptation! I still vastly preferred the books any day!#And I actually initially had high hopes for the new one because they at least cast a Scot (albeit a Highlander not a Clydesider) as James#And the actors at least looked a little bit younger than Christopher Timothy and Robert Hardy#And thank god Helen actually sounds like she's a farmer's daughter and doesn't speak RP!#But from the half hour I've seen of it I've had to write off this new adaptation#For two major reasons#First of all there's Siegfried#Siegfried is one of the key central aspects of the vibe of the books and therefore key to any adaptation#Robert Hardy was too short and too old for the part but he lived and breathed the character#The twinkle in the eye bouncing off the walls and in and out of rooms followed by half a dozen dogs utterly full of life even when angry#But this new Siegfried is just sort of... Eeyore-esque; he comes into a room and you can see the flowers droop and the set turn grey#Siegfried was angry Siegfried was happy and the historical character he was based on was no stranger to melancholy#Since Donald Sinclair did commit suicide or rather self-euthanasia after Alf Wight and his own wife Audrey died#But this slow grumbly figure in the new adaptation is not Siegfried Farnon- the book character didn't grumble more often he exploded#And why did the adaptation give him a dead wife that's so weird? What could that possibly add to the source material?#And this brings me onto my second problem which is to do with women and age#Firstly I have no idea why they aged down Mrs Hall or at least made her look younger than a woman her age would have back then#But what really drove me mad was when Heriot goes out to see some old woman hill farmer in the episode I saw#And this woman is far too clean and young-looking and you can see that she's wearing 'natural' look make-up#And a perfect set of clothes that looked like they were straight out of the House of Bruar autumn collection catalogue#Say what you like about the 1978 adaptation but old women looked like old women regardless of whether or not they wore make-up#It may be that the better quality of television screens means that the 'natural look' shows up on screen more clearly than it would have#But natural look make-up was not really a thing in the 1930s and for old women Yorkshire hill farmers I doubt they'd have much on at all#They just don't seem to be capable of allowing people to look old and wrinkled and real or have bad teeth or unattractive clothes#And everything is far too tidy- everybody looks far too perfectly country and quaint#Anyway the moral of this story is of course that I always recommend reading the books because they're much better#than any tv adaptation; but if forced to choose at least the 1970s one felt real and yet didn't have to be grim either#Ok that's my rant over please do feel free to enjoy the show I just got annoyed because the opinion was expressed on TMS
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omg these losers from 911 are coming to me a qaf/iwtv blog to complain about their ship wars. I couldn't give a fuck get a life you desperate weirdos, I'm laughing at how pressed you are throwing a tantrum like a child. bitch I barely have a toe in that fandom space nor do i ever have a desire to be in it.
Not everyone is consumed by hatred and misery, i will continue to make content for whatever blorbo's i damn well please at least i have the skills to do so unlike you untalented bunch of haters.
Also i come from the toxic gay vampire show and am a die hard brian kinney stan so complaining to me about whatever pathetic nonsense you have going on is hysterical lmaoooooooo.
#you people are fucking deranged and sick in the head#you're trawling gifsets to see who has made content to send loser anons there's not enough therapy in the world to help you#i genuinely laughed for a good ten minutes about this like you reek of desperation to come to me who posts 1 gifset about that show#for this very reason why on earth would any sane person want to be involved in that all you're doing is driving away new fans and gifmakers#no offence but i'm down bad for my vampires and mr kinney they consume my mind on the daily like that's my core interest#that fandom is eating itself alive there aren't any words for the shit they do to each other genuinely psychopathic#i don't wanna be around a space where i have to block people who follow me and i've seen in my notes every time i breathe#anyway get the fuck away from me and my blog it's happy vibes only here
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hello... (and bye ig 👋)
#👋😭 hi...#i haven't come on in about a month and i didn't realize a month passed by like that... i've kinda stopped using any apps on my phone#i barely even talk to my friends anymore lol 😭#i just saw my follower count this morning and realized i hit 13k and i was like 🥸 huh...#uhhhhhhh 😭 idk i wanted to say thank you i guess 🫂#i'm done with stayblr and tumblr in general 😭 this much has been obvious for a while now... i tried to fit myself back in during 5star but#i think i realized i've outgrown the vibes here and in online spaces in general... i don't really enjoy it anymore 😭 which is weird cause#i've used tumblr since i was in middle school so 🫡 end of an era some would say...#i think it sucks because i don't have the same feelings about this place or skz or anything in my life right now... i tried to ignore it bu#it's so obvious now that the entirety of december passed without me really talking to a single person / without me using social media /#without me really doing much except for like homework and assignments lmao#i think genuinely i've stopped enjoying everything i used to like and i don't know why 😭 it hit me the other day bc i don't even enjoy#pc collecting anymore which is CRAZY considering how much time and money i've put into that hobby so 👋🥸 who knows what goes on#i haven't consumed any skz content since rockstar dropped 😭 and that also feels weird to me... idk... i would say maybe i'm going through a#depressive episode but i don't really feel how i do then... i think i'm just tired like i always am and that's just how i am now .. i think#i'm just not really interested in things anymore? weird but .. yeah idk😭 if i knew what was wrong i would Fix It sndjdndkd mostly i'm just#sad because i haven't been talking to friends... i keep ignoring everyone and not replying to any texts from anyone because ????#i tell myself i will do it later but i know i won't ... idk i genuinely don't know why i'm struggling to talk to ppl anymore 😭 i've become#even more of a reclusive hermit than i already was 💀 and the worst part is i feel normal abt it#i don't feel /bad/ i just feel guilty that i'm not replying to ppl bc i don't want to hurt ppls feelings... on my end i feel Normal abt it#like i ??? is it weird that i'm so detached from everything that not even a month ago made me so happy..? that's weird right 😭 like idgi#i don't feel (as) depressed (as i usually do) but clearly ?? smth is wrong ?? like ik i'm not a clingy sentimental person but ? it kinda#makes me sad wondering if i really don't care abt ppl anymore ... but i think 😭 it's also the object permanence issues that come with adhd#not seeing or talking to the ppl i love . not doing my hobbies or seeing the groups i care abt . makes it easy to not care or forget what#they make me feel etc etc ... i get it... but idk 😭 if that's what this is . well wow it sucks ASS.. cause i feel guilty for not feeling#anything at all ... 😭 idk how to explain that HENSKDNISJS anywayyyy 💀#i came on cause i wanted to say thank you for 13k followers 😭‼️ and that i probably will not be online anymore unless i really want to say#this was a really long winded way to say i feel bad but i'm done with stayblr fr 👋🥸 i tried so hard for the last 2 years to make it feel#like home again but it stopped ages ago so 🥹 that's ok.. i still cherish my memories here 🫂 anyway thanku and sjsjsksksks bye i guess 😭#who knows maybe i'll enjoy it one day again and come back :') never know what the future holds 🫡
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Not sure if I'm sabotaging my relationship or not but I feel like I'm in the right ? Perhaps ?
#personal#basically we're long distance but I couldn't see him on a weekend because of unavoidable circumstance#we were going to go to his friends wedding but I couldn't make it.#but hes been sending me photos of my empty seat next to his at the venue#and telling me constantly that I would've loved it#so I took issue with it bc i wasnt enjoying that#and he's gone into panic mode and thinks I'm accusing him of being a 4D chess manipulator#and low-key he kind of is. Unconsciously I think but still manipulative.#he uses the whole 'woe is me' and 'I'm just a terrible useless creature pls pity me' bit way too often.#if we have a slightly uncomfortable conversation he will stop engaging with me and try to distract by telling me he loves me.#like literally 'so what do you think?' ... '[laughs nervously] I love you :'')...' imagine that being the only response he gives for an hour#so I've called him out on his difficulty with sincerity and he's just doubling down on the 'pls pity me' stuff and frankly...#i really don't like it#the wedding thing was kind of nothing but his reaction to it was telling#pulling out the whole 'I am horrified you'd think that' guilt-tripping nonsense#followed immediately by 'you overestimate my intelligence if you think im capable of that :'')' pity party.#just. not promising. not good vibes.#to elaborate on the wedding bit: I made the decision that I couldn't make it bc of a busy work week.#he assured me several times that it was okay if I couldn't make it but he stopped messaging for a day after I told him I couldn't#then sent me a photo of my empty seat with a crying emoji and telling me that he wishes I was there and that i would've really loved it#that's not a message sent with the intent to make me feel good is it?#idk reading this back it sounds like an overreaction from me but with the context of my experience with him this is not an isolated thing#it's kind of perpetually like this. then when called out on it he pulls out the love-bombing but doesn't address the actual issue.#idk. idk.#if anyone wants to engage with this post feel free. Any outsider perspective would be welcome.
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antis who stalk proship blogs especially to repost what they find are really wild.
either u actually adhere to what you preach (that interacting with fiction will make you reenact it if there’s not a big red sign saying “BAD” overtop of it) and you’re willingly taking the content out from behind the warnings and putting it in an unregulated place where minors/people more likely to actually do that will see it.
or you don’t actually think that’s happening, and you just want to be a bully. which is it? can’t have it both ways and you know it lmfao
#damn i thought the 23 year old stalking me would’ve gotten the message#but they’re still showing huge amounts of minors kink shit!#real ‘don’t worry. i’m a safe adult. now let me show you kids some sex art’ vibes. coming from a victim you’re creepy as fuck dawg#creeps gonna creep i guess#i’ve said it before i’ll say it again: fuck off you nonce. you’re violating the dni#anyone who’s followed me for a while knows who it is lmao#since i know this is gonna be screenshotted and posted too:#yall are not ‘spreading awareness’ about shit. i’m open abt who i am and nobody needs some guy to tell them im proship#keep on placating yourselves with that tho if you can’t handle to think about it any deeper#chekhov’s cathedral#antis dni
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