#focusing on 2 brothers and one is gay

[sharks-in-boots]

my top 2 homophobic characters

[carriagelamp]

My favourite books from 2024! Another really strong year of books for me -- every year will have some stinkers and a bunch of middling reads, but the highs of this year were really high so I'm pretty content

As always, I give more detailed descriptions and opinions of the books in my month reviews, but here's a quick breakdown for anyone who's interested:

The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

A non-fiction book that looks at how childhood has been “rewired”, focusing specifically on the increase of overprotective parenting, increase of tablet/social media usage, and decrease of unstructured, independent play. It was a fascinating read that really looked at how children need to be given lots of opportunities to play, take risks, and make mistakes in order to learn and grow and how a loss of that might be impacting people’s mental health. As someone right on the cusp of the age bracket that’s being focused on, it felt very exposing.

Apothecary Diaries v1-2 by Natsu Hyuuga

Maomao is kidnapped and sold as a servant to the imperial palace, where she serves as a general dogsbody in the rear palace, home of the emperor’s various consorts and concubines. She’s determined to keep her head down until her contract is up… until she helps solve a mystery and catches the eye of the powerful eunech Jinshi who soon learns about her in-depth knowledge of apothecary work and anything to do with poisons. Very funny premise, Maomao hates Jinshi soooo much and he is such a simp for it. She just wants to eat poisons and be left alone and he says “no<3” to both of those

Bury Your Gays (and Straight) by Chuck Tingle

Both of these are very explicitly queer horror novels. Straight is a novella that riffs on the format of a zombie story, but with straight people becoming inexplicably violent towards queer people one day a year. Bury Your Gays is about a Hollywood screenwriter who realises his horror creations are begin to stalk him in the real world. Both are very intentionally built around social commentary on queer issues, and despite have audacious premises they completely own their camp and end up producing really well thought out, insightful stories. I can’t say I liked either as much as Camp Damascus but either is worth a read.

Console Wars by Blake J. Harris (and Blood, Sweat, and Pixels by Jason Schreier)

Console Wars is a nonfiction book I’ve meant to read for years on my brother’s recommendation and I quite enjoyed it. It explores the history of the video game console market in North America, with a focus on how Nintendo revitalized it and how Sega then swooped in to upset the monopoly it held. The book is written in a very narrative, personable style and I found myself really rooting for the various people and companies being portrayed ahahaha. A shockingly fun read. I also read Blood, Sweat, and Pixels which wasn’t quite as narratively compelling but a related read that looked at games with complex development cycles.

Defekt by Nino Cipri

Technically the sequel to Finna which I also read this year, but Defekt works as a stand-alone and is, imho, the better of the two. Both deal with a surrealist horror Ikea setting, where the sheer density and liminal-space-ness of it all allows strange wormholes to open up between these stores from different dimensions. Finna deals with actual wormhole hopping, whereas Defekt focuses in on one employee who gets assigned to a very strange overnight inventory shift.

The Disabled Tyrant’s Beloved Pet Fish v1-2 by Xue Shan Fei Hu

Fish isekai book. Is this a good book? No. Is it a really really fun book? Yes, in spades. In this book, Li Yu wakes up in a court drama novel… but not as a character but rather as the tyrannical prince’s pet fish. He is given the task to improve the prince and is stuck figuring out how the hell to do this as a fish. This book knows exactly how ridiculous it is and leans into it. Li Yu and Prince Jing are both idiots in very unique and exciting directions. No one knows what the fuck is happening.

Down Among the Sticks and Bones by Seanan McGuire

A prequel to Every Heart a Doorway, though it works perfectly well as a standalone. Honestly I liked it more than the first. This book has deliciously gothic horror vibes, and it plays with all the tropes you would expect from gothic horror / fear of the sublime. It’s about sisters who find a strange chest that lets them descend to the sinister land of the Moors. This is where vampires rule, werewolves stalk, and mad scientist’s ply their craft. The girls end up separated on and very different trajectories as they grow and acclimatize to the brutal existence of the Moors.

Escape From Incel Island by Margaret Killjoy

Exactly what it says on the tin. Completely insane book that is very worth the read if you feel like something that is patently insane. I strongly recommend treating this as a read aloud with a friend or loved one because I read it with my brother and couldn’t stop laughing. Top notch mercenary Mankiller Jones is sent to escort a computer scientist to Incel Island to retrieve lost governmental data. There they have to survive the hoards of Nice Guys, Volcels, Betas, and every other violent inhabitant of the island if they ever want to… escape from Incel Island.

Heaven Official’s Blessing v6-8 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

I finished the main series of Heaven Official’s Blessing (without reading the extras yet), and man what an ending! I could not have asked for a more epic or satisfying conclusion! The final battle and its various stages? The character reconciliation? The villain reveal? Perfect, no notes. The series itself follows Xie Lian, a prince who has ascended to godhood twice and been cursed and cast out from Heaven just as many times, giving him the title of the Laughingstock God. The story begins with him, to everyone’s dismay, ascending a third time.

Horrorstör (and Paperbacks from Hell, My Best Friend’s Exorcism) by Grady Hendrix

This book also deals with a Strange Alternate Ikea, but is the superior book. This was one of my top reads for 2024, and it was flawless horror. It is essentially a haunted house story set in an Ikea, that manages to be both chilling, disgusting, and a shockingly insightful critique of capitalism and retail. Very worth the read. 

After reading this I also read Paperbacks from Hell (a nonfiction book that does an analysis of horror fiction from the ‘70s and ‘80s, very good read) and My Best Friend’s Exorcism (which was decent but not my favourite of Hendrix’s since possession and exorcism isn’t my favourite brand of horror. The vaguely queer undertones and ending I found interesting, and it did some cool things throughout.)

Jeeves and Wooster books by P.G. Wodehouse

I ended up listening to so many of the Jeeves and Wooster audiobooks this summer while I was travelling. There were some I really really loved and some that fell very flat for me. I think I listened to too many in a row by the end… These books are like popcorn, not deep but very fun, and follow the airheaded but good natured Bertie Wooster and his man Jeeves who unfailing swoops in to solve all the strange and inane problems the Bertie gets involved in. They tend to be funny, light-hearted, and clever in their resolution of plot problems… though some of the issues do get rather repetitive. My favourites were: The Inimitable Jeeves, Very Good Jeeves, Right Ho Jeeves, and the Code of the Woosters.

Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi

Some excellent science fiction, especially for my Pacific Rim loving heart. This bordered on the cosy fantasy genre, while mixing in plenty of science, world-building and a good dash of excitement. During the Covid-19 lockdown, Jamie Gray is stuck trying to make ends meet as a food delivery driver… until he runs into an old acquaintance who suggests he might have a very different job offer for him. Jamie ends up joining this very secretive “animal rights group” and finds out just how massive, dangerous, and otherworldly these “animals” are by being risked to an entirely different dimension filled with giant, radioactive monsters.

Lula Dean’s Little Library of Banned Books by Kirsten Miller

One of my favourite books from this year! Tthis book managed to hit on very topical subjects with both tact and humour. Lula Dean has spearheaded a book banning crusade, managing to get a number of “problematic” books removed from the library and has made a show of setting up a Little Free Library in her yard full of “appropriate” books instead. When Beverly Underwood visits her mother and hears about this she’s so exasperated with it all that she quickly hatches a plan swapping out the dust jackets of some of the banned books with the ones in Lula Dean’s Little Free Library. The rest of the story is about various people in the town who borrow a book from Lula Dean’s library and how the book they got instead ends up impacting not just themselves but their town. The first story involves a penis cake. Can’t recommend it enough, starts out humour and quickly becomes something you want to rally around.

My Happy Marriage v1 by Akumi Agitogi

This was pure mindless fluff, it was honestly a delight. This is a low-fantasy, Cinderella-esque story set in the Taishō era. It focuses on Miyo Saimori who lives under the thumb of her cruel step-mother, haughty step-sister, and indifferent father. She’s resigned to being treated like a servant in her own home and ekeing out a strained existence, but her life takes a turn when she finds herself nominally engaged to the allegedly cold and cruel Kiyoka Kudou. It’s just absolutely overwhelmingly cute and I really enjoy the contrasting POVs.

A Series of Unfortunate Events and Poison for Breakfast by Lemony Snicket

I’d never finished The Series of Unfortunate Events when it was originally coming out, so I finally sat down and did that, and honestly it was well worth the wait! It was a very interesting series to read as an adult, especially all in one go, because it really let me appreciate everything that Snicket was trying to say. It was a much more clever and philosophical read than I was anticipating, and The End was fucking superb. He absolutely stuck the landing, it completely blew me away. Poison For Breakfast was also a very interesting standalone novella that felt like surrealist philosophy. I might have even enjoyed it more than the basic TSOUE.

The Poison Squad (and The Poisoner’s Handbooks) by Deborah Blum

Poison Squad is a very compelling and topical nonfiction about the formation of the American Food and Drug act. The state of unregulated food processing in the late 19th century was, in a word, nightmarish. Don’t read this book if you have a weak stomach. But it’s completely fascinating to see how one person, Dr Harvey Wiley, made it a personal mission to scientifically prove what all these mysterious food additives were doing to people and put limits to what could be sold to consumers. I liked it so much I went to read Blum’s other book, The Poisoner’s Handbook which is set during Prohibition and explores the rise of forensic medicine and again exposes how people were being poisoned by simply living their standard lives.

The Pushcart War by Jean Merrill

The real, true history of the New York City Pushcart War!! For real!!! This is a delightful underdog story that is really written in the style of a history textbook recounting the fictional Pushchart War. This war started in New York City as the roads get increasingly congested with traffic, the worst offenders being the increasingly massive and arrogant trucks. The trucking companies hatch a plan though: if they begin to push out the little pushcarts, framing them as the problem for the congestion, then how hard would it be to push out taxis next? Or buses? Or motorcars? How long until they can make the road a perfect habit for trucks and trucks alone? How can something as small and poor as a pushcart owner fight back?

Railsea (and This Census-Taker) by China Miéville

I heard Railsea described on tumblr and it sounded sufficiently insane that I had to read it for myself. This author is truly unrivaled when it comes to bizarre worldbuilding that feels both very, very grounded in reality while also being completely unexplained and impossible. Railsea is essentially a Moby Dick meets Treasure Island retelling but with trains instead of boats and giant, mutated, vicious moles instead of whales. Unhinged. Can’t recommend enough. I followed this up by reading his novella This Census-Taker which was not as much of a frolicking adventure but fucked with my brain just as much or more than Railsea did. Genuinely not sure I even know what happened in that story but I enjoyed the experience of being completely fucking baffled for some 200 pages.

The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw

Another book to ideally not read if you have a weak stomach. This novella is very big on unrelenting body horror. This is a twisted fairytale retelling in which a cannibalistic Little Mermaid meets a plague doctor Frankenstein. Both of them are walking away from cruel past lives, along a trail that’s soaked in blood and viscera. You feel how painfuly and disgustingly human this book is, while also being so wildly separate from anything that resembles human anatomy or morality. Superb.

Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System v1-4 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

The last of MXTX’s three series I needed to read. It was the one I was most hesitant about, but I ended up having a really great time with it. It is simultaneously the most light-hearted and silly of the three series, while also the one that most gleefully dives into torture and sex. So you get a bit of everything with this, and as usual MXTX does a really good job of mixing the humour and series in a way that keeps things constantly interesting. The story is about Shen Yuan who dies our of pure, frothing fury after reading the shitty ending to the shitty, porny webnovel he’s been reading for hundreds of thousands of words. He dies cursing the lousy author and the lousy writing so he’s given a chance: step up and do it better! Which is easier said than done, when he finds himself waking up in the body of the series’ villain who is destined to be gruesomely tortured to death. Better get on that!

Shakespeare: The Man Who Pays the Rent by Judi Dench and Brendan O'Hea

This is the written result of a number of interviews held between Judi Dench and Brendan O’Hea and she discusses her time as a Shakespearean actress. It looks into what her time working with theatre companies was like, summarizes the plays she took part in, and delivers into some fascinating character analysis of the roles she played. An absolute treasure of a book for someone who enjoyed their Shakespeare and/or Judi Dench.

Singing Hills Cycle v1-5 by Nghi Vo

Probably my favourite series that I read this year, I can’t wait for the next book! This series follows Chih and her magical bird companion who come from the Singing Hills Monastery, an order that is devoted to keep recording tales and keeping a history of the land. Chih travels all over in these various novellas, collecting stories, memories, and histories that they come across. The first book has them entering the recently unwarded palace of the late Empress to learn about her marriage, imprisonment and rise in power. The second has them trapped by a pack of tigresses with nothing to do but frantically lure them into comparing stories. 

The War That Saved My Life by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley

Ten year old Ada was born with a club foot and because of it has never been allowed to leave her apartment. She lives a hard life trying to care for her younger brother and suffer through the abuses of her mother. Things change though as the Second World War truly begins and London begins to evacuate children to the country. Ada is determined — she and her brother will evacuate, they will escape their mother’s house, even if it means her learning how to walk on her club foot. Even if it means facing how different life is for unwanted slum children in the country, and confronting how much she and her brother don’t know about life. This was a very touching book, it did a great job of balancing Ada’s justifiable pain and anger with an optimistic story. Queer elements are all subtext but there — they aren’t the main focus of this story.

When Women Were Dragons by Kelly Barnhill

This book absolutely took my breath away, it was a next level literary experience. It’s very, very solidly magical realism, so don’t go into this expecting true fantasy, everything going on here is allegorical and a beautifully done allegory at that. This story is set during the 1950s, in a time surrounding an event known as “The Mass Dragoning” when thousands of women suddenly, spontaneously, transformed into dragons and flew away. The story follows Alex Green who was a child during this event. Her aunt transformed. Her mother didn’t. Both of these things have profound impacts on Alex as she grows up, and a woman’s role in society, a woman’s anger, her joy, her desire are all questioned and explored.

[queereads-bracket]

Queer Adult SFF Books Bracket: Round 1

Book summaries and submitted endorsements below:

The Last Binding trilogy (A Marvellous Light, A Restless Truth, A Power Unbound) by Freya Marske

Endorsement from submitter #1: "A trilogy of books set in a magical Edwardian England, the Last Binding series focuses on three queer couples who come together in order to solve a conspiracy threatening all magic. It’s a masterful blending of fantasy, historical fiction, and romance, with a splash of mystery and Wodehousian romp. Expect magical manor house parties with beautiful wallpaper, as well as explorations of power, trust, and what we owe the land. The prose is absolutely gorgeous and evocative. The characters and their emotional arcs form the beating heart of the story, intertwined with beautifully crafted romance. The worldbuilding feels organic and deeply rooted within this hidden magical society. These books are thoughtful, tender, scorching, and fun all at once."

Endorsement from submitter #2: "Utterly fantastic historical fantasy. Each book focuses on a subset of a larger character set. There is an overarching high stake magical plot, as well as different queer romances explored in each individual book."

Robin Blyth has more than enough bother in his life. He’s struggling to be a good older brother, a responsible employer, and the harried baronet of a seat gutted by his late parents’ excesses. When an administrative mistake sees him named the civil service liaison to a hidden magical society, he discovers what’s been operating beneath the unextraordinary reality he’s always known.

Now Robin must contend with the beauty and danger of magic, an excruciating deadly curse, and the alarming visions of the future that come with it—not to mention Edwin Courcey, his cold and prickly counterpart in the magical bureaucracy, who clearly wishes Robin were anyone and anywhere else.

Robin’s predecessor has disappeared, and the mystery of what happened to him reveals unsettling truths about the very oldest stories they’ve been told about the land they live on and what binds it. Thrown together and facing unexpected dangers, Robin and Edwin discover a plot that threatens every magician in the British Isles—and a secret that more than one person has already died to keep.

Fantasy, historical fiction, romance, magic, Edwardian, series, adult

Winter's Orbit by Everina Maxwell

Endorsement from submitter: "Gay princes in space"

While the Iskat Empire has long dominated the system through treaties and political alliances, several planets, including Thea, have begun to chafe under Iskat's rule. When tragedy befalls Imperial Prince Taam, his Thean widower, Jainan, is rushed into an arranged marriage with Taam's cousin, the disreputable Kiem, in a bid to keep the rising hostilities between the two worlds under control.

But when it comes to light that Prince Taam's death may not have been an accident, and that Jainan himself may be a suspect, the unlikely pair must overcome their misgivings and learn to trust one another as they navigate the perils of the Iskat court, try to solve a murder, and prevent an interplanetary war... all while dealing with their growing feelings for each other.

Science fiction, romance, arranged marriage, politics, mystery, adult

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗧𝗜𝗞𝗧𝗢𝗞 𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗦

　　　　　　　𝒏𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x male!reader

SUMMARY: 4 times that Y/N and Nick made a couple's trend on tiktok.

WARNING: None.

REQUESTED?: Yes, by anon.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

Y/N was the love of Nick's life. The two practically grew up together, having met in their first years of school. Y/N was the person who was by Nick's side during all the turmoil in his life, providing support when needed and extending his hand to dance in the middle of the storm.

It was with Y/N ​​that Nick realized he was gay, and it was with his help that he came out to his family.

The two had been together for 6 years already. Y/N worked with Nick in the grocery store and accompanied him when he decided to start a career on YouTube with his brothers, appearing in videos from time to time since the beginning. It was Y/N who spent sleepless nights next to Nick, watching him edit many videos and make small lists of topics that he and his brothers could use.

It was precisely because of this that Y/N began to feel an appreciation for social media, having lost his shyness with the camera a long time ago, he started making short videos on his own. And so, he started his own hobby on TikTok, recording his routine and making humorous videos.

Fans, who already knew Y/N since the first video on the Sturniolo Triplets channel, loved the fact that the two were public figures, being able to follow small moments of their relationship.

The comments on their Instagram posts were full of people begging them to do more content together, and, oddly enough, Nick was the one who always took the initiative in choosing what they could record.

Furthermore, Y/N loved selecting couple trends on TikTok to do with his boyfriend. His favorite hobby was showing their love to the world.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

1.

Y/N placed his phone on the nightstand on the left side of the double bed in his shared room with Nick, keeping the front camera facing him.

The TikTok screen was already open, and the audio was selected. The boy moved back a little in front of the device so that the lens covered half of his body, accidentally bumping into Nick, who was behind him.

Nick's hands flew to his waist, helping him regain his balance, letting out a laugh. The blond squeezed the skin over his hands one last time before letting go, keeping his arms straight and bending slightly forward so that he was hidden behind his boyfriend.

Y/N smiled briefly and stretched his torso, tapping the red button to start recording, watching the 5-second timer go off.

"Big boy, give me a big boy"

Y/N lipsynched the song, smirking at the camera.

"It's cuffing season, and all the girls are leaving..."

The boy danced the small choreography before crossing his arms and keeping his body upright, nodding to the beat with his head.

"to get a big boy, I need a big boy, I want a big boy..."

Nick straightened his body still behind Y/N, raising his arms horizontally and bending them upwards so that his biceps were completely visible, turning his face to the right side. A smile decorated his face while his jaw flexed.

The camera was able to capture the red color that took over Y/N's cheeks by seeing his boyfriend's perfil, smiling shyly while biting his bottom lip.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

2.

Y/N was lying on the double bed, his body warmed by his pajamas and with the duvet covering his legs. He was holding his phone in his right hand, the TikTok screen opened, and the camera recording.

The lens focused on the bathroom of his shared room with Nick, where the blonde was leaning against the sink while doing his nightly skincare routine, only his legs visible through the door.

"Nicolas, come to sleep." Y/N spoke in a loud voice and serious tone, pressing his lips into a thin line to prevent the laughter from escaping.

The blonde froze in place for a few seconds, his mind seeming to process what he had heard, before his body abruptly turned towards Y/N, dropping the cream he had in his hands in the sink.

"Who?" Nick asked, crossing his arms and resting his hip on the doorframe, looking at Y/N with a frown.

"What?" The boy asked, moving his cell so that the camera caught the blonde's reaction without making obvious that he was recording.

"Who is Nicolas? As far as I know, my name is baby." The blonde continued with a sassy tone, raising his right eyebrow and looking at Y/N with a serious look.

A sound of laughter escaped Y/N's throat. He threw his head back laughing at his boyfriend's reaction before looking at him again, laughing harder when he saw Nick with a confused expression.

"It's a prank, baby. It's for a TikTok." The boy explained, smiling big. His eyes widened as he saw Nick approaching the bed with quick steps.

The blonde throwing himself on top of his boyfriend was the last thing captured by the camera before the TikTok ended.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

3.

The triplets had finished recording another car video in which Y/N ​​had participated. They were in the parking lot of the McDonald's closest to their house, so Chris and Matt decided to order some burgers and fries for dinner, entering the establishment and leaving Nick and Y/N alone.

Y/N was lying on Nick's chest in the middle seat of the car, where the blonde always sat during videos. The heater was on, protecting their bodies from the cold outside. Nick's arms wrapped around his boyfriend's waist, his chin resting on top of his head as both of their eyes focused on the phone screen in Y/N's hands.

The boy's TikTok was open, and his thumb scrolled up, moving from one video to another, until a cute one of a couple's trend appeared.

Y/N sat up abruptly and looked at his boyfriend with pleading eyes, smiling like a little kid when Nick sighed and nodded.

"What don't I do for you, hm?" The blonde opened the door next to him, getting out of the car and holding it open, extending his hand to help his boyfriend out.

Nick closed the door and turned his body, watching Y/N walk to the pole next to the vehicle, placing his phone on the ground and resting on it, so that the camera could catch his whole body.

"You know what you have to do, right?" Y/N asked briefly, quickly looking at Nick, who had a smile on his lips.

"I'm not dumb, baby." Nick scoffed, crossing his arms.

Y/N laughed while crouching down, arranging the position of his device and preparing the audio and timer before pressing play.

"You know the ones who said I'd never find someone like you"

The boy stood up and took a few steps back, keeping his eyes on his phone camera while running his right hand through his hair, smiling shyly.

"'Cause you were out of my league, all the things I believed..."

Nick took a few steps towards his boyfriend, his head held high, and his eyes fixed on the sky, pretending to be distracted. He bumped his body against Y/N's purposefully, making the boy look up with a false look of confusion.

Their eyes met for a few seconds, Y/N felt like he could get lost in the blue orbs, momentarily forgetting about his phone that was recording them.

Nick noticed the mesmerized look on his boyfriend's face, smirking and leading his hands to his waist, squeezing the covered skin slightly before bringing his own head closer to his, finally sealing their lips in a deep kiss. He pushed the smaller body with his strength, taking them out of the frame seconds before the music stop.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

4.

"Babe, can you get me some chocolate? Please." Y/N asked.

He was lying on the bed in his shared room with Nick, holding his phone in his left hand surreptitiously, so that the rear camera caught Nick, who was sitting in his gaming chair editing one of the videos for his channel with his brothers.

The sound of his favorite series echoed from the television, and Y/N kept his eyes fixed on the screen - even if he wasn't paying attention to it.

The blonde was about to get up to get a snack from the kitchen - to keep his concentration -, when he asked his boyfriend if he wanted something, and that was the perfect opportunity for Y/N to record that prank.

Nick made a sound of agreement, standing up and taking the headphone off his head, placing it on his computer desk before walking over to his boy, bending down so that his head was close to his, sealing his lips on the soft skin of his boyfriend's cheek before rising again.

Before he could move away from the bed, his body froze when he saw Y/N raise his right arm and bring his hand to his own kissed cheek, cleaning the area with his fingers.

Nick frowned, staring at his boyfriend for a few seconds - who didn't take his eyes off the television for a second. The blonde slowly bent down again and sealed his lips over the same area he had kissed before, standing up and watching Y/N repeat the same process.

"Okay, what the hell are you doing?" Nick's tone was serious. He crossed his arms while keeping his blue eyes on his boy. Y/N looked up, facing him with a false confused look. "Why are you cleaning my kisses?"

"I am not." Y/N lied, swallowing his laugh, shifting his gaze to the television again.

Nick rolled his eyes and sat down on the bed, resting his hands on the mattress and approaching his boyfriend again. He sealed his lips over the same cheek for a few more seconds before pulling away.

Y/N instantly raised his arm and cleaned it again, looking at his boyfriend from the corner of his eye.

"Hey! You think I'm stupid? Stop it." Nick ordered, taking Y/N arm. He furrowed his eyebrows when a laugh escaped Y/N's mouth, who threw his head back, his phone moving slightly in his hand with the movement, catching Nick's attention. "Ah, I see."

The blonde quickly climbed onto the bed, sitting on Y/N and wrapping his legs around his waist, lowering his torso.

Y/N's laughter stopped instantly, his eyes, now wide, watching Nick. The boy brought his face closer to Y/N's and his hands held his head so that he couldn't move, before he sealed his lips over all the exposed skin of Y/N's face again and again.

A scream followed by laughter escaped Y/N's throat before he blindly clicked the stop recording button.

taglist:

@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @worldlxvlys @earth2starkey @remussbitch @freshloveforthefit @il0vebeingdelulu @sturniolowhore @mimi-luvzyu @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @domizzzsstuff @sturnizd @hearts4chris @cupidzsq

(If you want to be added to the taglist, go to this post)

[mephistopheleswasrobbed]

It's episode 9, the whole family's finally back together and I am happy to say that I was right, again. (I knew Kan wasn't responsible for Home's crash!) But more importantly let's talk about all of the gay moments.

1

Look at Peach pulling on Home's sleve when they're cornered by the angry community. It's okay Peach, just hold his hand. I'm pretty sure Home would let you. (Also Home was feeling himself in that wig and honestly, more power to him)

2

Home has come a long way from devaluing Peach's food because it was cheap and trying to bribe ghosts with food deliveries instead. Now he's here, looking for food for Peach to cook for the ghost, without any prompting from anyone else.

And then he even holds the window blinds open for Peach when they break into Sing's room.

Good job being a supportive bf, Home.

3

Even Kan's community knows not to separate Home and Peach.

(I know in the second one pairing them together is kind of necessary to set up the Pangpang & Suradech joke but still.)

4

Last week I was a little confused when, in the preview, it seemed like Home still couldn't see ghosts even though he died and came back like Peach. But of course we had already established that Peach can only see ghosts, not hear them so obviously Home has to complete him by being able to hear but not see ghosts.

Because they belong with each other. Because they achieve their full potential only when working together. Because Home has been trying to help Peach understand what the ghosts are saying since Rak.

Because it is the combination of Home repeating Sing's words and Peach repeating his actions that finally allow Kan to let herself believe that his ghost is there, that finally allows her to let him go.

5

Peach is very worried about Home this episode. (Not surprising after he almost watched him die last week.) He's worried when Home keeps having issues with his hearing.

And he's not happy to see Home get beaten up right in front of him

Pleading with Kan to help him. (although it was slightly funny to see Peach babygirl himself into being unable to escape the hold of one single person that was also smaller than him)

When he can finally free himself, though his eyes are focused on Kan's dying father, his immediate action is to help Home.

And when Home faints? at the end of the episode, Peach is, of course, immediately all over him.

6

Peach cooses to sit next to Home, not his sister, even though there's a pillar separating them. And while all four of them are sitting together, through the angles at which they're sitting there is a subtle grouping of Pangpang with Kan and Home with Peach.

A grouping which is recreated in the end credits after Pangpang and Home bring Kan back to the family table.

Look at the dads with their two daughters. (Okay let's say Kan is their daughter-in-law, otherwise Lesbian Corner is going to get a bit weird)

7

Peach is the one to gently wake up Home so he can take part in their family reunification meal.

And freshly awakened Home doesn't even bother to look around himself, fully trusting Peach to have all the answers.

Lesbian Corner

Pangpang gets her own 'you betrayed me, I won't hear you out' moment this episode.

Just like her brother, when he felt betrayed by Home, her immediate reaction to Kan pretending she never cared about them, is to take her at face value and walk away.

When Kan moves to touch Home's hair while he's sleeping, Pangpang is the one who interrupts. Because she knows Kan should be paying attention to her and leave Home for Peach to wake up.

And then, once Home and Kan have reconciled, she promptly asks Kan to feed her, because as she stated before, Pangpang is truly the baby of their little family.

[dia-draws]

What if all the creeps were connected somehow? Even by coincidence

They’d all be connected through the same few towns/cities/the woods.

Jeff Jane Nina are easiest to connect.

Jeff and Jane went to the same school we can easily retcon Nina to have been a grade or two under them in the same school. (Jeff and Liu lived there for like a year before everything went down)

Jack is originally from the same town as them before he went to college and even passed by the kids during winter break while visiting home. (My version of Jack doesn’t age so brother is like stuck at mid 20’s until something kills him). And maybe Liu had a kid crush on him (16 vs 20, his gay awakening lol).

Jane working a summer at a summer camp where she meets clockwork before becoming clockwork and before Jeff hurt Jane.

Helen being bullied by the same kids that bullied Toby. Escaping into local woods to catch a fucking break. Maybe he’s on a small cliff and sees the Toby and Lyra accident happen. (He’d be in the same school as them but Toby and Lyra would be too focused on their own issues to worry abt rumors of a dude stealing a watch).

Ben drowns in the woods Helen likes to escape to. Funnily enough the lake Helen likes to sketch the most bc it’s peaceful is the lake Ben drowned in.

Perhaps his cartridge is bought by the Woods brothers at a garage sale before he starts driving people to die, they never get to play it because of what happened so it gets sold in a estate sale.

Tim comes from the same town as Toby. It’s his hometown and he avoids it like the plague. Having been put into the psych ward as a young kid.

This is the same psych ward Liu get put into after Jeff kills their family and tries to kill Liu, and Liu develops DID? Idk but bros going through it.

Brian and Tim meet at college (before Jack is in college) and Marble Hornets happens. I want to specify Jack and them would go to different colleges bc Tim tries to completely leave his past behind when he moves to Alabama.

In the city Jack goes to college there are 2 prominent cults. The one that sacrifices him to Chernobog. And the one that see’s Dina as the reincarnation/vessel for Belobog. These two are counterparts Chernobog of darkness and chaos and Belogo of light and goodness. One vessel forced to lose his humanity and struggling with the new life he has and the other raised and accepting of her role becoming the god she believes herself to be. These two do not get along Jack tries to understand her and her motivations in his anguish but she tries to kill him seeing him as an enemy and a stain.

Maybe Kate is also from the same town as Tim and Toby. Something about sourcing all his proxies from the same specific town… I think they need to have something overlapping though. Maybe they all explored the woods at young ages to escape their respective issues. Toby avoiding his step dad and bullies the woods being the only safe space he has that isn’t his sister. Tim stumbling upon Slender’s “resting” site he accidentally sets him free and that’s why Slender starts going after him first. Kate exploring the woods and mines getting slender sick from prolonged time out there.

[badboysteve]

The conflict I personally can't wait to see play out in season 5 is Robin vs. Jonathan. Hear me out: On one side, Steve's number 1 supporter & best friend - the person most aware of how much he's grown & changed. On the other, the guy who's been at the other end of Steve's lowest point, personality wise.

Jonathan has had virtually 0 exposure to Steve's character development on account of being almost singlularly focused on his family, dating Steve's ex, and outright leaving the state. If Jonathan wasn't even really communicating with Nancy while he was gone, he sure as hell wasn't getting news of Steve. (And it's debatable how much he knew Steve even before that - knew OF him, sure - and they were certianly civil with each other post season 1, but actual friends? Hm.)

So Jonathan's coming back to Hawkins with his family in danger AGAIN, and fresh off the confirmation that his brother is, in fact, gay. He's going to be feeling a little overprotective.

And Steve might have apologized for what he called Jonathan in that alley, but is Jonathan gonna take that risk where Will is concerned? Haha, nope! Nancy talking Steve up at the end there is probably gonna be a detriment to Jonathan's opinion of him, too.

Given how Steve spoke of Jonathan in season 4, I imagine he'd be caught off guard by any actual hostility, and I doubt he'll want to risk going for round 2 with him, so I can see him going for avoidance and deescalation as much as possible.

Robin, however? We all saw she was 5 seconds away from ending Eddie in the boathouse scene. No way she's gonna just sit there if Jonathan insituates that Steve is (still) a terrible person.

But at the same time, she's gonna have a hard time convincing him that Steve is no longer a homophobe without some solid evidence - and I doubt she'll want to out herself to someone she doesn't really know. (No matter how much of an ally he claims to be)

Jonathan: Do you know what he called me? The things he said? No way, people don't change like that. He's just gotten better at hiding it Robin: He's not! Like that! Anymore! Jonathan: Oh yeah? Where's your proof? Robin, gritting her teeth:...I don't have any Jonathan: Yeah,that's what I thought

[theomnicode]

Perception bias, round 2 Director's cut, Saigenos edition!

(or basically, how my brain jumps into another topic only loosely related to the original ask)

Thank you @itsmaferart For the wonderful ask again. :)

Warning: Long post ahead

-*-

Perception bias also serves another more...sinister purpose for Saitama. Psychological conditioning. There is potential evidence for deprivation of basic needs, conditioning for violence for protection and subliminal messages for suggestion, among other things.

Being deprived of all these needs is akin to mental torture. But so is facing all of the underlying issues at once via hypnotherapy and cognitive behavioural therapy if the patient is sufficiently dysfunctional in a societal setting like Saitama happens to be. Especially if the therapies are performed...poorly.

CBT has shown to be the most effective intervention for people exposed to adverse childhood experiences in the form of abuse or neglect Criticism of CBT sometimes focuses on implementations (such as the UK which may result initially in low quality therapy being offered by poorly trained practitioners. However, evidence supports the effectiveness of CBT for anxiety and depression. Evidence suggests that the addition of hypnotherapy as an adjunct to CBT improves treatment efficacy for a variety of clinical issues. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and its symptoms have been shown to improve due to implementation of hypnotherapy, in both long and short term. As research continues, hypnotherapy is being more openly considered as an effective intervention for those with PTSD.

In short, in order to heal mentally, Saitama may need to face mental torture because he has such strong willpower and such strong mental barriers shielding his vulnerabilities on a basic primal need. There only needs to be a sufficient trigger.

ONE sent Saitama home to restore his energy levels...because he's going to sorely need them for the upcoming confrontation.

Empty Void's ability to genjutsu people casually and cause parallel shifts in the reality and using these to abuse emotional dependencies is like a loaded Chekov's gun on Saitama's forehead. Because Saitama has been roleplaying to re-learn his emphatic skillset after he had suffered too much mental trauma.

That's why early Saitama did not even bat an eye when Beefcake killed his own brother but now he's empathizing with Hamukichi. That's what I call character progression.

Even a compulsive planner like Saitama cannot predict what will happen because he's not familiar with Blast's maladaptive coping methods deep down. Blast is great at masking because they are coping methods so he can bear with his guilt and other issues and just wants to do things on his own, without assistance.

This causes Saitama's perception bias about Blast who seems capable and emphatic, when he is in actuality unscrupulous and amorally indifferent if you really, REALLY study him hard enough.

My bro casually invited Saitama, who is sensitive to aggression, hostility and violence, to watch literal torture of human turned monsters, with an actual smile on his face. And justifying it with his end justify the means philosophy. That's awfully too close to being sadistic and cruel when you consider the ramifications.

They say "love is blind" and Saitama is wearing some rose tinted glasses on because Blast is straight up shady, but he does not see it because he's probably identifying with Blast so hard. Middle-aged, number 1# hero, powerful, confident, outwardly caring, intuitive, ruggedly handsome, positively masculine, secretly gay...you name it. Everything Saitama more than likely fantasies about being because he's so emotionally dependant on Genos and he wants to better himself for Genos due to all his insecurities.

Oh yeah time for some saigenos. *rubs hands*

The very first Genos tells him is to tell Saitama to hide in order to protect him. Saitama has a lot of dependency issues since he has been a small child because he was so emotionally lonely and never got the safety he needed to cope well in life. There are definitely some underlying anxieties or disorders laying about.

Second thing Genos does is show just how smart, capable, cool and devilishly attractive he can be when he gets passionate and engages in combat. Genos can get an awed reaction even from Saitama who's emotions were being blunted during their first spar.

Third is showing he's not gonna judge Saitama for completely embarassing himself, even if he was to get naked around him and lower his inhibitions and showing him it would be ok to trust him on the level of intimacy he craves so dearly. (Season 2 Blu-ray & Dvd: Saitama and the mysterious heroine)

Fourth is showing that Genos is also extremely resilient even when getting hurt...because Saitama hates to see others hurting and he doesn't want it to happen because of him.

And finally the fifth...is because Genos is just as emotionally lonely as he is, but he's unable to let go of his emotional dependencies because he trauma bonds so deeply. He would rather double KO for a Game Over screen than let the monsters win over him and his loved ones on pure principle and take those he trauma bonds with him, because emotional abandonment and guilt would kill him deep inside, so he would rather end it himself for a shred of agency before he withers away.

All these draw in Saitama like moth to a flame and he easily lets Genos into his life. Because he identifies with the lonely teenage boy Genos with traumas who is so familiar to him like coming home.

-*-

Despite everything that has happened to Saitama, he tries to remain optimistic. He's not naturally prone to cynicism unless under great amount of duress. The worst thing to do against him would be Genos emotionally betraying him, betray everything that he perceived in him since the first day they met.

But Saitama has perception bias towards Genos too...such as that Genos is no longer the small teenage boy who needs to be sheltered and cared for, but a battle-hardened soldier. Neither is he a lost naive little sibling in need of guidance or chaperone but an adult wanting mentorship where he can be truly open about his own issues. Would be such a shame if these wrong illusions about Genos were to be shattered...painfully. If Genos were to ever violate that implicit trust Saitama gives to him.

My brother in christ Saitama, he's not actually related to you and he's not your family member even if you'd love him enough to adopt him or something. Not letting go of this notion will spell trouble, like wonky image of relationships and intimacy.

(Yea Saitama please he's not actually related to you, even if it's kind of endearing that Saitama considers Genos to be as close like a family member)

It'll just get worse if Saitama confuses emotional intimacy with sexuality because of his bad upbringing when he's never had any friends and missing his parents too and all his role models have been aggressive and toxic people.

Funny how Saitama's first conclusion about Dr. Genus being interested in his body was sexual in nature and he immediately got defensive. He essentially revealed himself as someone who doesn't even know for sure which way he swings. Which would be quite classic for infj demi but I'll get to that if it becomes more relevant.

Genos naturally knows best though, poor guy looks so disappointed haha. Doesn't stop Genos from attempting every trick in the book besides outright throwing roses at Saitama and arranging dates to get into his good side and woo him, he dressed up so nicely for a spar haha. Dressing to impress, yup. And then he got himself new shiny body and practically walked weeks without a shirt on just so Saitama would see it. (Chapter 185: Updates) My guy has it down bad for Saitama, but Saitama seems oblivious to Genos indirect advances and Genos gave up and finally found a shirt to put on.

(I would pay to see Genos actually chuck roses at Saitama though.)

Even Saitama has to acknowledge that Genos is objectively a hottie though, because in the webcomic he says something along the lines of "he's not even pretty" about Amai-mask and it really makes you think the standards of who Saitama considers pretty when even ikemen like Amai-mask won't do.

-*-

Genos unfortunately is growing up some pretty large perception bias about Saitama after the time travel fiasco. His idolization of Saitama is becoming obsessive and objectifying, like Saitama can do no wrong and that Saitama is some kind of messiah.

Genos also does not take no for an answer. It would be incredibly damaging to both Saitama and Genos when this perception bias is broken when Saitama gets too much on his plate to handle. Like for example...Empty void's specialty, messing with emotional bonds and inducing traumatic events like the illusion of death to break any emotional bond, just like he did to Flashy flash and Sonic.

I do greatly anticipate how Empty Void's fight is going to proceed, we might be in for very big perceptional bias shifts all around, like Flash was forced to acknowledge that he's emotionally dependant on Sonic. (Chapter 201: You pass) And Saitama's idolization of Blast will come crashing down when he finds out what Blast is really up to.

I'll throw some funny perception bias at the end.

[helpimateenagerinlove]

Hookup? pt.2 ~ Chris Sturniolo

a/n: sorry this took so long! hope you like it!

summary: After meeting at a party you and Chris hookup. you thought it was more than that but he thought otherwise.

warnings: smut, oral (f,receiving), fingering, cursing, unprotected sex (protect yourself at all costs), more smut

Chris x fem reader

part 1

It has been a week and Chris still hadn't texted or called you. You continue to think about what happened last week. How his cock filled you up so well, and how his tongue moved in rhythm with your moans. You needed to distract yourself so you decided to go to another party. You go alone because your friends are busy and you figured that you'd make some friends there.

As you arrive you enter a booming house. People everywhere along with smoke in corners. You head to the bar and get yourself a drink. As you are drinking a guy comes up to you. "Hey i love your dress!" You can tell from his voice and how he is dressed that he is gay. "Thank you so much! I love your glasses." He smiles and replies, "Thanks. I'm nick by the way." "Nice to meet you I'm y/n." "Are you waiting for your friends or something?" "No I came alone." "Well I'm your new friend because I'm not gonna let you stand alone with tweakers around." You smile and talk with nick at the bar. you guys dance for awhile and talk to others. You and him decide to leave. You give him your number and go home.

The next day he texts you and invites you over to his house that night. You accept and head over there after you get ready. As you are driving you recognize the area but brush it off until you pull into the driveway. You then realize that this is Chris's house and Nick is his brother. You act like you don't know anything as you ring the doorbell. Nick answers it and hugs you. "So i have to brothers and we are triplets so don't get to creeped out when you meet them." "I think i'll manage." You go upstairs and see Chris and his other brother sitting on the couch. Your stomach drops to your toes when he locks eyes with you but you quickly look away. "So that's Matt and that's Chris." "Hi, i'm y/n." "Nice to meet you y/n." Matt says. "So i was thinking we could watch a movie in my room if you want." "Yeah, that would be cool." You guys go upstairs to his room. "Shit, i forgot snacks." "It's okay i'll go get them." "Okay, you can probably ask one of them downstairs to find everything."

You go downstairs and Chris is the only one one in the living room. He walks over to you as he notices you looking for stuff in the kitchen. "Hey, long time no see beautiful." Chris's voice was low as he said that behind me. "Hey." You reply kinda coldly. "What's with the tude." "You haven't texted me once since that night so you clearly don't care." He takes a deep breath. "Well, you haven't left my mind once." "Same." You quietly say. "I've missed you...so...much." His voice was seductive which made chills go down your spine. He steps closer and wraps his arms around your waist. "I should probably go back up to nick. He's waiting on snacks." He let's go and opens the snack cabinet for you. You grab snacks and head back up to nick's room.

As you watch the movie your mind is only focused on Chris. The scene of what happened in the kitchen replays in your mind on loop. Chris's face close to yours as he spoke low and seductive. Once the movie ends it's 12 am. Nick checks the time. "It's late and I would feel bad if you had to drive home so you can stay here for tonight if you want." "Sure, i live like 45 minutes away anyway." "Perfect, then i could set you up something here or if you want on the couch." "The couch will be fine since i move a lot when i sleep and don't want to kick you." You both laugh a bit before nick takes down a pillow and a blanket for you on the couch. Matt and Chris are in their rooms so the living room is quiet an dark.

You lay on the couch by yourself before you hear footsteps. Chris emerges from the darkness of the stairway and notices you. He comes and sits by you on the couch. "Hey. What are you doing still up." "Can't sleep." A smirk grows on his face. "I could help with that." Suddenly you are straddling Chris's lap with kissing him with hunger. Your tongues are fighting for dominance as you guys are in a heavy make out session. You move you hips on his which cause him to groan in the kiss. You slowly start to feel a firmness underneath you in his lap. He carries you to his room and lays you down on the bed and crawls over you. Seeing him hovering over you gets you excited. You start to feel a familiar wetness in you panties. He starts to kiss your neck while his hands move under your shirt, caressing the soft skin. Chris slides your shirt over you head revealing your bra. he unclips it and takes it off. His fingers run along you beasts and your nipples harden. He starts to suck on one while massaging the other. Sounds of pleasure escape your mouth as he gives the other nipple the same attention as the first.

His shirt is now off and his hands roam your body. he slides off your sweats and his, leaving you both in your underwear. He kisses down your stomach leaving love bites along the way until he reaches you panties waistband. He takes them off with his teeth and throws them. Chris licks his lips as he takes in the view of your glistening folds. "So wet for me baby." "Mhm." "I've misses this perfect pussy." He licks down your folds coating his tongue in your juices. He presses a kiss to your throbbing clit before putting it his mouth. Sucking while flicking his tongue makes you let out moans. His fingers find your hole and enter. He's tongue and fingers working in rhythm to push you over the edge. "You close yet mama." His words against you clit make you moan out a yes. He doubles his efforts, pumping his fingers faster and sucking harder on your clit. You clench around his fingers and cover his hand in your release. He works you through your orgasm and pulls his fingers out. He licks his digits clean. "Taste so good. Can't wait to be inside you."

He pulls his boxers off revealing his huge dick, that you're still not used to. "Get on you hands and knees for me." You do so and runs his hands over your ass. You arch your back as he lines up and he bites his lip. He grabs your hips as he pushes in. You moan as you feel every inch of him inside you. He grits his teeth. "Such a tight pussy." He starts to thrust and that makes your back arch more. His thrusts are so hard, your face gets pushed into the pillow. With every thrust his tip kisses your cervix. Moans from both of you fill the room. "I-i think i'm c-close." you manage to get out. "Me too...mmph." His thrusts become faster and harder which makes you moan loud into the pillow. His hand finds your clit and rubs it firmly. You clench around him and he pinches your clit which sends shocks of pleasure through you. "F-fuck." You cum around his cock covering it. He soon twitches in you and fills you up with thick ropes of his cum. He pulls out and lays next to you.

You guys lay there while you catch your breaths. "That was incredible." "Hell yeah." He gets up and grabs a towel from his closet and cleans you both up. You get back in your clothes and lay in the bed again. "I'm never not texting you again." You laugh a bit. "You missed this pussy too much." "Yes i did." "I should probably go back up to the couch so they don't suspect anything." "That's probably right."

The next morning you wake up on the couch. Chris comes into the living room and sits by me. Nick soon after comes into the living room and sit on the couch. "How did you sleep y/n" "I slept well actually." "I could barely sleep because of all the noise i heard in Chris's room." Me and Chris glance at each other and our cheeks get red. Nick looks confused for a minute before saying, "ew! i knew Chris was fucking someone down there!" You and Chris laugh. "You guys are sick."

divider by: @bernardsbendystraws

tags: @loveparqdise @h3arts4harry @afilmbykay @peiivnao @lolastrniolo

[hyperfixatedimagines]

Home for the Holidays Ch.1

Summary: Your family didn't take your coming out well....and instead of spending the holiday alone you join your roommate for Christmas dinner. While Aemond wishes you set your sights on his sister Helaena, your tastes skew much older. 

A/N: This is a modern!au milf Alicent x milf lover f!reader. It was supposed to be finished last December lol. It got really long so I broke it into two chapters. It will be smutty, so read with caution if that’s not your thing! Not really smut in part one though. 

A/N pt. 2: In this story two of Alicent’s cousins are her older brothers and Baela is not Helaena’s cousin. Not canon compliant.

You knew the holidays were going to be rough this year but had not anticipated just how hard seeing pictures of your family in St. Barts without you would be. 

They had not taken your coming out well. 

Sure they had promised to keep paying the tuition to your very expensive university until you graduated but that did little to soothe the hurt that their disapproval caused. Your family came from old money, some of the oldest of old in the country, and with that came old ways of thinking. They didn't care that you were gay, plenty of people in your extended family were some form of fruit, but they all stayed in the closet- at least publicly. That was what your family wanted for you as well. Anything to not tarnish their image. 

But you couldn't live that way any longer. You wanted to be free. 

To your surprise, only your estranged cousin Elia had accepted and even celebrated your coming out of the closet. 

Thankfully you had Aemond. The two of you had met in freshman history class. He argued with the professor over every historical inconsistency in his lectures and it drove the professor mad. It made you laugh though. Aemond also came from old money, so the two of you bonded over the pressures that came from families that expected you to be perfect. Sophomore year the two of you moved into an apartment off campus, and your friendship only grew from there. 

Aemond was your best friend, and you could not have asked for a better one. Aemond invited you to spend the holiday with his family. He didn’t love spending time with his family as they could be quite a lot but he always went for his mother’s sake. 

You figured it beat spending Christmas alone in your flat. 

So you got dressed in your very best and sat in the passenger seat of Aemond’s Porsche the whole drive to Oldtown. 

- 

Aemond popped another piece of gum into his mouth. “This will be a great opportunity for you and Helaena to bond,” he said as he chewed. 

You rolled your eyes. “Not this again.” 

Aemond smiled mischievously. “Come on (y/n). You can’t tell me you didn’t feel a connection when she came to visit on my birthday.” 

“I can, and I am. She’s not a lesbian Aemond,” you replied.

Aemond was convinced that his sister Helaena was a lesbian. His evidence was that she never had a boyfriend, attended an all women's university, majored in Women’s studies, and only brought home girl best friends for the holidays. 

“She talked to you that night, which cannot be said for many other people. Helaena is very selective with who she talks to. You even made her laugh (y/n)! I saw the sparks,” Aemond argued. 

You sighed and shook your head. “Even if your sister was by some miracle into women, which I want to firmly state for the record that she is not, she’s simply not my type.” 

The light turned red and Aemond’s car pulled to a smooth stop at the intersection. He turned to you. 

“You don’t have a type. I’ve seen you bring all types of women home (y/n).” 

You smirked. “Ever notice they weren’t at all our age.” 

Aemond furrowed his brows. “So your type is older women?” 

You nodded. “Yeah, like your mom for example.” 

Aemond frowned. “Dude not that again!” 

You laughed. “It’s not my fault your mom is a total milf.” 

The light turned green. Aemond focused on the road once more. His face contorted in disgust. 

“Ugh, yeah you and my mother are not something I’d like to picture.” 

You let out another laugh. “Well I certainly have.” 

This time Aemond let out a small chuckle. “Do you have the hots for my mother (y/n)? Is that why you said yes to joining us for Christmas?” 

You shrugged. “Maybe I do, and maybe it is.” 

Aemond chuckled again. “Well if you can make my white, Anglo-saxon, catholic mother do anything untoward this weekend I’ll spend the first two months of the new year cleaning the bathroom every weekend.”

Another red light. The car came to a stop.

You turned to Aemond and put your hand out. 

“Deal.” 

Aemond turned to you and shook his head. “I was joking.” 

“I am not," you replied with a cheeky smile.

“Fine, deal,” Aemond said and shook your hand. 

The light turned green. Aemond sped off once more. 

You sat back in your seat thinking of Aemond’s mother, Alicent. You had only met her via Facetime when she called to check in on Aemond. 

She was a certified smokeshow. 

Alicent was beautiful and always held herself with poise. She was dressed impeccably in every photo of her online you could find when you first cyber-stalked her. 

She had lost her husband, Aemond’s father, three years ago. 

Aemond always skirted around the topic of his father. His father, from what you knew, had never really cared for Aemond and his siblings. 

Viserys Targaryen was in his second term as the state's governor when he passed away. The Targaryens were political legends in your state. Many of their family members had been mayors, governors, state senators, and they had even managed to have an ancestor in the oval office. 

Aemond’s father had always favored his only daughter from his first marriage, Rhaenyra. He had poised her to be the city’s mayor but his death led to a falling out within Aemond’s family. According to Aemond, they had never gotten along with Rhaenyra and her family but they had been cordial while Viserys lived. 

When he died, Rhaenyra (who according to Aemond saw his mother as nothing but a gold digging whore) fought Alicent on every asset Viserys owned and vowed to leave Alicent penniless. 

Thankfully Aemond’s mother had her family by her side. The Hightowers of Oldtown were an even older political force to be reckoned with. Their wealth dated back to the very founding of the nation. 

Aemond’s grandfather, Otto Hightower, had squandered his own inheritance as a young man. It was rumored his family had cut him off and left him to his own devices after he gambled his money away. So Aemond’s mother had grown up having to make a lot of things happen on her own as they didn’t have their family’s backing for most of her life. 

It wasn’t until Alicent married Viserys that the Hightowers welcomed Otto, Alicent, and her brothers back into the family fold. 

So when Viserys died Alicent had the army of Hightower family lawyers on her side. Alicent managed to win several of Viserys’ homes and the money the prenup she had signed promised her. 

Aemond never really spoke of his father, and when he did it was without warmth or love. So you often wondered if this was how all his family felt or if it was just him. You figured you would soon find out.

- 

Aemond pulled up in front of the massive estate. 

You got out of the car and marveled at the impressive family home. It wasn’t bigger than the one your family owned but it did look older and felt more imposing. 

The estate was decorated from top to bottom in Christmas decor. It was done tastefully, the lights and decor didn’t look tacky, but it certainly conveyed a love for the holiday not many others shared by the look of the estates Aemond had passed by on the drive up. 

Aemond popped the truck of the car open and took out his overnight bag. Then he took a deep breath and walked towards you. 

“Say the word and we can still go back to the flat,” he joked. 

You raised your brows and gave him a sideways look. “And do what? Eat Chinese take out and get drunk?” 

Aemond smiled. “That sounds class to me.” 

You laughed and shook your head. 

“Aemond," said a voice that sounded as sweet as honey and as light as the morning sun. 

You and Aemond turned your heads towards the estate. 

Aemond’s mother stood at the door. She smiled brightly and waved. 

Gods she’s even more beautiful in person, you thought. 

Aemond put his hand on your shoulder. “Let’s get this over with then.” 

You and Aemond walked up to the door. 

Aemond’s mother turned to you and gave you a hug. 

“It’s lovely to finally see you in person (y/n)," Alicent said as she politely embraced you. 

You were surprised but you quickly recovered and returned the embrace. You noted how warm she felt. 

“It’s a pleasure Mrs. Targaryen.” 

Alicent pulled away and waved her hand dismissively. “Oh none of that. Call me Alicent,” she said with a smile. 

You nodded. “If you insist, Alicent.” 

She let out a polite laugh then turned her attention to Aemond. She wrapped her arms around her son. “I’ve missed you so much my little dragon,” she cooed. 

Aemond blushed as he pulled away from his mother. 

“Mom,” he chided. 

Alicent laughed. “What? I can’t call you my little dragon anymore?” 

You laughed and turned to Aemond. “Little dragon?” 

Alicent turned to you. “He used to love running around pretending he was a dragon when he was a boy.” 

You reached out and pinched Aemond’s now rosy cheek. “How cute, little dragon.” 

Aemond swatted your hand away. “That only happened when I was seven and it’s because the dragon is on our family crest.” 

“If it makes you feel better my nickname used to be baby cabbage in our mother tongue," you revealed, hoping to lessen Aemond's embarrassment. 

Alicent laughed. “Why baby cabbage?” 

You blushed under her gaze. “I was a very chubby baby.” 

“How darling,” Alicent quipped. 

Butterflies fluttered in your chest at the compliment. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Aemond staring at you. 

He cleared his throat and pulled his mother’s gaze away from you. “Let’s go inside, it’s bitterly cold out.” 

Alicent nodded. “Of course come on in. Aegon is already up in his room. Helaena and her friend should be getting in any minute now.” 

Alicent stepped aside and Aemond walked inside. 

You followed after him and felt the butterflies in your chest multiply when you caught Alicent looking you over from head to toe with a small smile on her face.

-

Aemond and Aegon decided to smoke a joint before dinner. 

You weren’t against it but didn’t care to partake so you wandered downstairs and figured you’d ask Alicent if she needed any help with dinner. 

You knocked on the wall of the kitchen entryway. 

Alicent was stirring something in the saucepan but looked up when she heard you knock. She smiled. 

Butterflies filled your chest once more. 

“Hi there,” she said. 

You shoved your hands in the pockets of your jeans. Your palms had already started to sweat and you hadn't even spoken yet. 

“Hi...Uh I was wondering if you needed help with anything?” 

Alicent waved you off. “You’re a guest (y/n). I could never ask you to do anything,” Alicent protested. 

You stepped closer and leaned against the counter next to the stove. “Then it’s a great thing I’m asking you. Really, I want to help out,” you insisted. 

Alicent let out a small laugh. “Okay, you can stir this gravy while I check on the roast.” 

You stepped up to the stove and took over the stirring. 

Alicent went to the oven that was inlaid on the side of the stove, and took a look at the roast.   

“Did you decorate or did you hire someone to decorate your home?” 

Alicent stuck a meat thermometer in the roast and turned her head towards you. “Depends, do you think it’s too much?” 

You smiled. “Of course not. It’s beautifully done.” 

Alicent brightened at the compliment. “Then it was all me,” she beamed. 

“Do you always go all out on the holidays?” 

Alicent placed the roast back on its rack and closed the oven door. “Just Christmas. It’s my favorite holiday because I finally have my family all under one roof again." 

She took her oven mitts off. 

You continued to stir the gravy. “Well I hope it’s okay that you have a stray joining you at the table this year." 

Alicent approached the stove once more.“It’s Christmas, the more the merrier.” 

Then Alicent reached out for the spoon. You went to hand it off. 

But then your hand met hers. 

You didn’t move, and neither did Alicent. 

She met your gaze. 

You were too scared to even breathe. It felt as though if you moved even an inch the spell that kept her eyes on you would break. 

But it broke anyway. 

Alicent cleared her throat and looked away. 

You let go of the spoon. 

Alicent grabbed the spoon and resumed stirring. With her free hand she lowered the heat of the flame. “Besides, I’ll have two stays. Helaena is bringing a friend from school," she said, as though your brief moment of intense something had never happened. 

You took a step back and leaned on the counter. “Right, you mentioned that before. Do you know much about her?” 

Alicent continued to stir. She did not meet your gaze. “Not really. Helaena doesn’t share much about her college life with me. All I know is that her name is Baela, and that they’re spending Christmas day with her family.” 

You raised your eyebrows slightly. Was Aemond right about his sister being into women? 

Alicent noticed. “Why’d you make that face?” 

“Oh, it’s nothing. It’s just something stupid Aemond said," your face suddenly felt warmer. 

Now it was Alicent who raised her eyebrows in intrigue. “What is it?” 

You bit the inside of your cheek, unsure if Aemond would mind you sharing his thoughts with his mother. 

Alicent noted your apprehension. “I won’t tell Aemond you mentioned anything.” 

You looked into Alicent’s eyes. They were a deep and rich brown. They were comforting. You realized that with eyes like that you would tell her anything she wanted. But her gaze was too hot so you swallowed hard and looked away from her when you told her what Aemond had said. 

“He thinks Helaena is gay, and is obsessed with getting her and I together. I’m ninety percent sure that’s the sole reason he invited me over today.” 

Alicent stopped stirring and stared at you.“Gay? Why does he think Helaena is gay?” 

You shrugged. 

Alicent placed a hand on her hip. "I think you do know." 

You dared look up. Alicent's attention was fully focused on you. You felt your stomach in your throat but you spoke anyway.

“According to Aemond, Helaena never expresses interest in men or in dating a man, only talks about women she admires, attends a historically women’s college and majors in women’s studies, and finally that she only ever brings girls home on the holidays.” 

Alicent chuckled and went back to stirring the gravy. “Oh gods. You know I’ve never known why kids today still hang onto outdated stereotypes about sexuality. I was the very same at Helaena’s age, she’ll grow out of it when she meets her future husband. I know I did.” 

You pushed yourself onto the counter and sat down, intrigued at the revelation of Alicent's past. 

“You were a women’s studies major at an all girl college?” 

Alicent tilted her head to the side.“Sort of. I majored in English literature at Vassar, and I only ever brought my girl friends home for the holidays. Until I met my late husband of course.” 

Aemond had never told you that his mother had gone to an all women’s university or that she had a BA in English Lit. It piqued your interest. You needed to know more. 

“How did you meet him?” 

Alicent returned her gaze to the stove and brought the heat of the burner even lower. “My father introduced us. He was Viserys’ chief of staff in his first term.” 

You knew there had been an age difference between them but had not imagined it was that big. 

“Interesting...”

Alicent didn’t reply but she glanced over at you. 

You hopped off the counter, awkward with the sudden silence. “What else can I help with?” 

Alicent smiled softly. “You really don’t have to (y/n).” 

You shook your head. “I insist. Have you set the table? If not I would be more than happy to do so.” 

Alicent turned the heat off and moved the sauce pot to a different burner. She looked up at you. “I laid everything out but I haven’t set it up.” 

You clapped your hands together. “Consider it done.” 

Then you raised your hand to your forehead and gave Alicent a mock salute. 

Alicent laughed.

- 

You set the table as you had always been taught to. Spoons and knives on the right and forks on the left. 

Then, just as you were almost done setting the table you realized the salad forks were missing. 

You double checked the pile where Alicent had left everything, hoping they were under a napkin and you had simply missed them. But no dice. They weren’t there. 

So you walked back to the kitchen. 

Alicent was now working on the salad she planned to serve. She looked up when you entered the kitchen, a smile on her face. It seemed like she always had a smile ready for you. 

You smiled back, it was instinct around her. “Hey uhm- I’m almost done setting the table but I realized the salad forks are missing. I can’t find them.” 

Alicent furrowed her brow. “Really? I could have sworn I set them out with the rest.” 

She grabbed a nearby paper towel and wiped her hands of any residue. 

Then she exited the kitchen and walked towards her china hutch. 

You watched her from the kitchen entryway. 

While you waited for Alicent to find the forks you looked about the room. When you looked up you realized someone had hung mistletoe over the entryway. 

You smiled. 

Alicent walked to you, forks in hand. She stopped at the entryway. “I’m so sorry I forgot to set them out with the rest.” 

She handed the forks over to you. 

You reached out to take them and for a brief minute your hands met hers, once again. 

Your gaze met hers. “Don’t apologize. I honestly don’t know how you’re doing all the cooking and decorating all on your own. Aemond and I were barely able to put a tree up.” 

Alicent smiled. She didn’t pull away this time. “You’re too sweet (y/n).” 

You returned her smile. Your cheeks were starting to hurt but you wouldn't dare not smile back. “I do have to ask you something," you said, emboldened by the continued contact with Alicent. 

Alicent raised a brow. “Ask me something?” 

You nodded slightly then continued. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen mistletoe hung in the entryway of a kitchen before.” 

Alicent’s brow furrowed. “Mistletoe?” 

You looked up. Alicent followed your gaze. 

Her eyes widened a bit when she noticed the mistletoe. “Oh I- That Aegon,” she cursed. 

You looked back down at her and laughed. 

Alicent met your gaze once more, blush filled her cheeks. 

Then she pulled her hands away from yours. 

You took the forks and held them against you. “It's quite a funny placement isn't it?" 

Alicent walked past you, back to her salad preparations. 

“Oh yeah? How so,” Alicent replied, busying herself with her salad to avoid looking at you.

 “It reminds me of the old saying, love the meal and kiss the chef." 

Alicent stopped chopping the greens and looked over at you. She let out a small laugh. “Is that a saying? I don't think I've heard it before." 

You shrugged. “I swear I've heard it before, somewhere...Well if it's not it should be." 

Alicent shook her head, the smile still on her face. “Let’s see if you still want to kiss the chef after you’ve had my cooking.” 

Butterflies filled your chest. You stood up a little straighter. “Deal.” 

Alicent turned to you once more, her eyebrows raised. 

You twirled around and walked back to the dining room. You could feel Alicent’s eyes on you as you walked away.

- 

You finished setting the table. 

Then you stepped back and admired your work. 

You hoped Alicent would like it. So you turned to head back to the kitchen but stopped in the hall when you heard the doorbell ring. 

You turned to open it but Aemond beat you to it. 

“Sister,” Aemond said and reached out to hug a familiar blonde.

Alicent walked out of the kitchen and went to the door. 

Helaena let go of Aemond and turned to her mother. Alicent wrapped Helaena in another hug. 

Behind her, a silver haired girl stood awkwardly in the doorway. 

Helaena pulled away from her mom and stepped back to the silver haired girl’s side. She slid her hand in the girl’s. “Mom, Aemond, this is my best friend Baela.” 

Alicent stepped forward and stuck her hand out. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Baela.” 

Baela shook Alicent’s hand. “Thank you for having me over Mrs. Targaryen. Helaena has told me so much about you all.” 

Alicent laughed lightheartedly. “All good things I hope.” 

You took note that she didn’t ask Baela to call her Alicent. 

Aemond gave Baela a polite nod. “Welcome Baela.” 

Baela smiled at him. “Thank you Aemond.” 

Then Aemond noticed you standing in the hall and he waved you over. You approached them with a smile. 

Aemond went to your side and put his arm around your shoulders. “Helaena look who’s joining us tonight.” 

Helaena smiled when she turned to face you. “(y/n), it’s nice to see you again.” She stepped forward and gave you a hug. 

Aemond dropped his arm and stepped away from the both of you. 

You returned Helaena’s hug. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Aemond giving you a knowing smirk. 

Helaena pulled away and held you at arm’s length. “I’m so happy you’re joining us for dinner.” 

“As am I,” you replied. 

Helaena gave your arms a squeeze before she stepped back to Baela’s side. 

You stuck your hand out to Baela. “Nice to meet you. I’m Aemond’s friend (y/n).” 

Baela shook your hand warmly. “Nice to meet you as well.” 

Then Baela stepped back and Helaena looped her arm around Baela’s. 

“We’ll be upstairs in my room. Let us know when dinner is ready,” Helaena said before she and Baela started up the stairs. 

“Okay,” Alicent said as she watched them leave. Then she turned to you and Aemond. 

“Do you need any more help,” you asked Alicent. 

Alicent shook her head. “You’ve been a tremendous help. Please go have fun.” 

Aemond put his arm around your shoulders once more. “Let’s go play some video games on Aegon’s new system.” 

Aemond led you to the stairs. 

You craned your head back to look at Alicent. “If you need any more help just let me know! I’d be more than happy to.”

 Alicent gave you another smile. “I will.” 

Then she walked back into the kitchen and you followed Aemond up the stairs. 

- 

After about an hour of playing mario party with Aemond and Aegon (who you didn’t much care for because he could be crass but he had never been improper towards you so you didn’t mind him much) you heard the doorbell ring. 

“That will be grandfather,” Aemond said with a sigh. 

Aegon slumped down in his gaming chair on the ground. “I don’t want to go down.” 

Aemond clapped a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Sooner we go say hello the sooner we can say goodbye.” 

Aegon groaned. 

You turned to Aemond. “Oh come on, your grandpa can’t be that bad.” 

Aegon looked at you with an incredulous expression. “You have no idea." 

Then you all stood and made your way to the entrance. 

You trailed behind the boys. 

You saw Alicent at the door with an older man who you figured was her father, and three younger men who greeted Alicent with smiles and hugs. You figured they were her brothers. 

Aemond had told you he had three uncles on his mother’s side. He hadn’t mentioned much about them other than they were all still bachelors, which to you spoke volumes about them as two looked older than Alicent and only one looked younger than her. 

The older man turned to Aegon and Aemond, who were now at the door.

 “Boys,“ the man cheered before greeting each one with a hug and heavy pat on the back. 

Aemond returned the hug while Aegon went limp in his grandfather’s arms. Then their uncles greeted each one. 

You noticed that Alicent had straightened her posture and kept a more neutral expression. She greeted her father and sibling politely, with none of the warmth of earlier greetings. 

There was a lot that you didn’t know about Alicent and her family but you figured it was not all rainbows and sunshine by the change in her demeanor.

“You got here just in time father. Dinner is ready and served,” Alicent proclaimed. 

Her father nodded. “Very good timing Alicent.” 

Then Alicent turned to Aemond. “Would you tell the girls it’s dinner time?” 

Aemond nodded. Then he sped back up the stairs. He reached you and started to tell you but you told him you had heard. 

So he left you and went to tell Helaena and Baela. 

You made your way down the staircase and to the dining room. 

Alicent’s father and brothers seated themselves. Her father sat at the head of the table and insisted Aegon sit on the other end. Aegon did not protest. 

Alicent came out of the kitchen with the salad she prepared in her arms. 

You went to her side. “Do you need any help bringing out the food?” 

Alicent gave you a half smile. “It’s alright (y/n). I’ve set it all on the table. You just sit down and enjoy.“ 

You nodded and followed Alicent into the dining room. You sat down on the empty side of the table. You introduced yourself to Alicent’s family as you sat down. They all gave you various levels of appropriate greetings. 

Thankfully Aemond, Helaena and Baela came in and sat down next to you. Aemond sat to your right, beside his grandfather, and Helaena to your left. Baela sat on her left, with Aegon on Baela’s left. Opposite you sat Alicent. To her left sat her brother Gwayne (as he had introduced himself to you), beside his father. To Alicent’s right sat her brothers Lyonel and Martyn. 

You took in the sight of the absolute feast that was before you. “This all looks delicious, Alicent,” you said without thinking. 

Alicent gave you a small smile, blush tinting her cheeks once again. “Thank you (y/n). You’re too kind.” 

Her father, Otto as you now knew him, let out an indifferent huff. “The roast looks a bit overdone. How long did you leave it in for,” he remarked. 

Alicent’s smile fell from her face. She looked down at her hands. “I followed mother’s recipe to the letter father.” 

Otto let out another huff. “We’ll see about that.” 

Alicent frowned. 

Your focus was pulled away from them when Aemond gently ribbed you with his elbow. 

“You’ve got the perfect seat to talk to Helaena,” he whispered. 

You turned your head slightly to get a better look at Helaena. She was too busy chatting with Baela to even notice you. 

You turned back to Aemond. “It’s not happening Aemond.” 

Aemond frowned then turned his attention to his grandfather.

Otto rose from his seat and tapped his wine glass with a fork, calling everyone’s attention. 

“It warms my heart to see the family gathered for another Christmas. A man’s true wealth can be measured by the strength of his family...and the strength of his business. I am pleased to announce that your uncle Ormund has set up a donor fund for Aegon’s first mayoral campaign.”

Alicent’s brothers clapped and cheered for Aegon. Alicent clapped softly and gave Aegon a sympathetic look. 

Aegon’s face turned a sickly pale color. He didn’t meet his grandfather’s gaze. 

You had a feeling this was the first Aegon was hearing of his mayoral candidacy. 

Otto raised his glass. “To Aegon, first stop the mayor of Oldtown, last stop the president’s office.” 

“Huzzah,” Martyn cheered. 

You raised your glass alongside the rest purely out of propriety. Everyone could tell by the look on Aegon’s face this was the last thing he wanted. 

You turned to look at Alicent who had guilt written all over her face. Your heart softened. 

Otto set his glass down after taking a drink. Then he grabbed the carving knife and fork and got to work on the roast. 

- 

The meal was going well. Until of course Alicent’s family set their attention towards you. 

Lyonel, Alicent’s eldest brother, turned towards you. “So (y/n), what’s your family do?” 

Martyn nodded. “Yeah your name sounds familiar.” 

You took a quick sip of your wine before you replied. “My family are mainly philanthropists now but our family used to own the majority of the railways in the country,” you confessed. 

“That’s right, (y/l/n) rail,” Otto chimed in. 

“Yes sir, but my father is focused on tech philanthropy now.” Below the table your palms started to sweat. Talking with Otto Hightower felt a lot like speaking with your grandfather as a child. They both had very imposing auras. 

“A pity,” Martyn responded as he shoveled another piece of roast into his mouth.

Alicent whipped her head towards her brother. “Martyn,” Alicent chided. 

Martyn shrugged. “What? Her family used to be major players in the nation.” 

Lyonel nodded, agreeing with his brother. But he didn’t stop there. “So why aren’t you spending Christmas with them?” 

You dug your fingers into the palms of your hands. You felt like something was stabbing the inside of your throat. 

Thankfully,  Alicent and Aemond came to your aid. “Lyonel,” Alicent reprimanded. 

Then she turned to you. “You don’t have to answer that (y/n). Please forgive my brothers.” 

Aemond nodded. “Yeah (y/n) you don’t have to engage my troublesome uncles.” 

Lyonel and Martyn rolled their eyes. 

Otto was silent but his piercing gaze remained on you. 

You swallowed hard before you put on a polite smile. You looked at Aemond then at Alicent. “It’s alright,” you assured them. 

Then you turned to Alicent’s brothers. 

“I came out to my family a few months ago and it's safe to say they don’t approve of my new ‘lifestyle’ as they call it.” 

Lyonel’s face went red. Martyn looked away. 

Internally, you smiled at the sight of them embarrassed. 

Alicent’s voice pulled you back to the present. “They’ll come around eventually (y/n). The love a parent has for their child is immeasurable.” 

You smiled at her. “I really hope you’re right.” 

Gwayne, who had not said much all dinner, cleared his throat. All eyes turned to him. 

He turned to Aemond. “So Aemond, how’s your fencing coming along?” 

And just like that the pressure was off you and onto Aemond. 

- 

Many minutes later the meal came to a close. 

The men whisked Aegon and Aemond outside to play ball, leaving only the women inside. 

You, Alicent, Helaena, and Baela cleaned up the table. 

Alicent and Baela made their way to the kitchen with the leftover food while you and Helaena stacked up a pile of dirty dishes. 

Helaena looked over at you. “That was very brave of you,” she said. 

You set the plate you had picked up down. “What was brave?” 

Helaena stopped clearing the table. She turned to face you. “Telling everyone your family iced you out after you came out. Coming out to your family is incredibly brave, and you’re even braver for sharing that with practical strangers.” 

You smiled and felt your face warm. You weren’t attracted to Helaena but she had an otherworldly presence that made any attention she gave you feel special. “Thank you Helaena.” 

She reached out and squeezed your shoulder. “If you ever need to talk or need support, I’m here for you.” 

You put your hand on top of hers. “Thank you.” 

Then the two of you finished clearing the table. 

- 

You finished bringing the last of the dirty dishes into the kitchen. 

Helaena trailed in after you and set her stack on the counter. “Mother, Baela and I will be in my room.” 

Alicent nodded, up to her elbows in leftover food that she was trying to shove into various containers. 

Baela and Helaena left the kitchen. 

You turned to Alicent. “Do you need some help with that?” 

Alicent struggled to secure the lid on the container as she had over packed it with food. Alicent shook her head. “I got it.” 

You continued to watch her struggle. “I don’t think you do.” 

Alicent stopped trying and stepped aside. “Okay then tough guy, you give it a go.” 

You smiled and walked up to the counter. You pressed the lid down on all sides until you heard it click. It was secure. 

Alicent clicked her tongue. "Lucky try." 

You turned to her. “Always happy to help.” 

Alicent took the container full of food and stacked it with the others. “You don’t have to hang around here (y/n). You can go see Aemond or Helaena.” 

You furrowed your brows. “Helaena?” 

Alicent turned to the fridge and started the game of stacking the leftovers. “Yes, I saw the two of you talking while you cleared the table. Perhaps Aemond was right after all. I’ve never seen Helaena take to someone new so quickly.” 

“You were watching us," you asked, butterflies forming at the thought of Alicent spying on you. 

“Why do you say it as if I was spying on you? I saw you from the window in the kitchen is all." She said with a lazy smile on her face. 

“Right....We were just talking. Besides,Aemond is out playing sports with your brothers and father and I am not a sports fan. And I would hate to interrupt Helaena and Baela's alone time,” you joked. 

Alicent chuckled. She turned to grab the rest of the leftovers from the counter. 

You stepped forward and grabbed them. You handed them to her, one by one. “Besides, I like being in your company,” you confessed. 

Alicent stopped arranging the leftovers and looked back at you. “Really?” 

You nodded. 

Alicent smiled shyly and returned her attention to the refrigerator. “I wish my own children felt the same. All but Aemond dodge my calls.” 

You shrugged. “If you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m always free.” 

Alicent turned to you and you handed her the final container of leftovers. “Thank you (y/n).” 

Her fingers lingered over yours. Alicent looked down at them. She stared at them for a moment before biting her lip. 

 “What’s your verdict?” 

You furrowed your brows. “I’m sorry?” 

Alicent looked up, and took the container from you. “About my food. Was it good enough to kiss the chef?” 

Your face went hot. “Oh...uhm I-” 

Alicent placed the container in the fridge then closed it. She turned back to you. 

You were still too stunned to say anything. 

So her smile fell and she shook her head. “Forget it, it was stupid.” 

“No it’s not stupid I-," you stammered then cleared your throat. “I was just caught off guard is all.” 

Alicent stared at you, not saying anything. 

So you continued. 

“The roast was cooked perfectly.” 

Her smile returned. “Thank you (y/n).” 

You stepped closer to her. “So I do believe I will kiss the chef after all.” 

Alicent swallowed hard, not taking her gaze off you. “Oh,” she whispered. 

You stood in front of her, and looked down at her lips. “May I?” 

The last thing you wanted was for Alicent to feel uncomfortable or coerced. So you waited for her reply before doing anything else. 

Alicent gave you an almost imperceptible nod. 

You leaned in, at first determined to kiss her lips, but as you neared her skin you thought better of it. 

She was just committing to the bit, you told yourself, she didn't actually want you to kiss her.

So you placed a gentle kiss on Alicent’s cheek, inches away from her lips but still in a chaste enough location. 

You noticed a small frown spread across Alicent’s lips as you pulled away. 

But it was quickly wiped away. 

Alicent blushed furiously. She looked away from you. 

You also felt your face warm. 

You heard footsteps approach the kitchen. So you stepped away from Alicent and leaned on the counter. 

Alicent must have also heard them as she busied herself with wiping down the stove top with a nearby rag. 

Aemond appeared moments later. He looked between you and his mother, slightly suspicious, but then he shook his head and turned to you. “Aegon wants another couple rounds of Deadly Fighter 5. You up for it?” 

You nodded. “Yeah, let’s go.” 

Aemond turned and headed towards the hall. 

You started after him but turned at the entryway of the kitchen. “It was a lovely meal, thank you.” 

Alicent nodded, her cheeks still rosy. “Of course.” 

Then you hurried after Aemond. 

A part of you wished you had been brave enough to kiss Alicent on the lips.

You mashed various button combinations as your chosen fighter threw punches at Aemond’s chosen character on the tv screen. 

He was currently beating you  in the second round. 

Behind you, Aegon took a hit from his bong and blew it out in perfect circles. 

“So let me get this right, you want to fuck our mom,” Aegon repeated. 

You grimaced. “Why must you say it like that?” 

Aemond’s character delivered the killing blow to you. You lost. 

Aemond turned to you. “Aegon’s crudeness aside, he’s not wrong. I’ve seen the way you linger in the kitchen alone with her.” 

You felt your face start to warm. You cleared your throat and tried your best to appear nonchalant. 

“I didn’t want her to think I was a rude guest. No one else was helping her,” you argued. 

Aegon took another hit before he spoke again. “You know, I always thought Mom was a lesbian,” he mused. 

Aemond turned to him. “You did?” 

Aegon nodded. “She never really liked Dad, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen or heard her call a man sexy.” 

Aemond furrowed his brows. “Because Dad was a dick. Mother is a devout Catholic she would never call another man sexy. I don’t even think that word is in her vocabulary.” 

You turned to Aemond. “Your arguments for why Heleana is gay are just as flimsy.” 

Aegon turned to Aemond. “You think Helaena is gay?” 

Aemond shrugged. “What else could she be? She’s definitely not into men.” 

“She’s not into anything. She’s a freak like that,” Aegon said and laughed at his own joke. 

Aemond threw a pillow at Aegon’s head. 

It bumped Aegon’s head and knocked the bong out of his hands. 

“Hey,” Aegon whined. 

You and Aemond laughed. 

- 

An hour later, the time had arrived for you to leave. 

You descended the stairs with Aegon and Aemond in tow. 

At the bottom of the stairs Alicent was already saying goodbye to her father and brothers. She finished giving each a hug goodbye. 

Then she noticed Aemond and Aegon. Alicent asked the boys to say goodbye to their grandfather and uncles. 

Aegon and Aemond did as their mother asked and gave their family a hug goodbye. 

Helaena and Baela came down the stairs and Helaena said goodbye to her grandfather and uncles. 

Once they were gone, Helaena informed her mother it was time for her and Baela to leave. 

Alicent gave Helaena a big hug. “I’ll miss you, my bug, she said as she gave Helaena a kiss on the forehead. 

Then Alicent said goodbye to Baela, another handshake. 

Baela and Helaena made their way out the door. 

You were the last guest there. 

Alicent and the boys looked towards you. 

You dialed your cousin Elia once more. Once again you got the automated message the call could not be connected.

“I’m having some trouble with my cell. Could I use your landline?” You asked. 

Aemond furrowed his brows. He turned to his mom. “Do we even have one?” 

Alicent nodded. “Of course we do.” Then she turned to you. “It’s this way.” 

She led you to a small alcove with the landline and a seat next to it at the end of the hall. 

You thanked her and dialed Elia’s number once more. 

This time you got through. It rang three times before she answered. 

“Hello?” 

“Elia, it’s (y/n). I’m calling from my friend’s landline. I couldn’t get through on my cell for some reason.” 

You pressed the phone closer to your ear. There was a lot of background noise and you could not hear Elia very well. 

“I tried to call you. I can’t make it out to pick you up. There’s been a freak snowstorm in Sunspear. They closed all the roads and aren’t letting anyone through. I’m so sorry kiddo,” Elia lamented. 

Your heart sank. 

One for the snow storm that was probably wreaking havoc in Sunspear. It was a town that almost never got anything besides sun. 

And secondly because now you had no way to get back to your flat. 

You swallowed hard before answering. “Stay safe Elia. Please call me with updates, okay?” 

“You got it kiddo. Is there anyone else who can take you  home?” 

“I’ll figure it out, Elia. Don’t worry about that,” you said. 

The line started to fade in and out. Elia wished you a safe ride home and a merry Christmas. 

You did the same then hung up. 

Then you walked back to the entryway where Alicent, Aegon and Aemond stood. 

You shoved your hands in your pockets. “Soo...a freak snowstorm hit Sunspear and Elia can’t pick me up.” 

Alicent frowned. “Oh no, is she alright?” 

You nodded. “Yeah she’s doing okay. Uhm, so I’ll try to call my family’s driver to see if he can make it out. It might take him an hour or two to drive from High Garden but I’m sure he won’t mind.” 

Alicent shook her head and approached you. “Nonsense, you’ll stay the night with us and you can leave with Aemond tomorrow evening.” 

She reached for your hands and held them. “Got it?” 

You flushed. “I couldn’t possibly bother you all like that.“ 

“You are no bother (y/n). Now come on, let me show you to the guest bedroom.” 

Then Alicent pulled you along the staircase and to the guest bedroom. 

Aemond trailed behind the two of you. 

-

Alicent led you to a beautiful room with ample space and a fireplace. She asked Aemond to start a fire as the room could get quite cold at night. 

Aemond did so without protest and soon a fire roared in the hearth. 

Then Alicent asked Aemond to fetch you a pair of his pajamas. 

Again, Aemond did so without protest. 

While Aemond was gone you turned to Alicent. “Are you sure this isn’t an imposition? I can still call the family driver.” 

Alicent waved you off. “You’re staying and that’s final. You got it?” 

You nodded. Her dominant tone ignited a flame of your own. “Thank you,” was all you could say without giving your desire away. 

Aemond returned with a fresh pair of pajamas in hand. He gave them to you. 

You thanked him. 

Alicent clapped her hands together. “Wonderful, we will leave you to get settled. Breakfast is tomorrow at 9am.” 

You nodded. “Got it.” 

Alicent reached out and gave your shoulder a light squeeze. “Sleep well,” she said. 

You smiled. “You as well.” 

Then Alicent turned and left the room. 

Aemond stepped forward. “We’ll try again with Helaena at New Years.” 

You groaned. “Please, no more of that.” 

Aemond chuckled. “We’ll see. Good night (y/n).” 

“Good night Aemond,” you replied as you shook your head. 

Aemond walked out and shut the door behind him. 

Finally, you were alone. 

You changed into the pajamas Aemond gave you and settled into the plush king sized bed. You closed your eyes and hoped sleep would come. You decided to think about Alicent, in hopes you dreamt of her. 

You smiled. 

- 

Unfortunately, sleep did not come for you. You tossed and you turned. 

All you could think of was how much fun your family was probably having without you in St. Barts. 

Then you did the worst possible thing. You grabbed your phone from the nightstand and pulled up your mother’s facebook account. 

She had already posted many photos of the family in St. Barts. They were smiling from ear to ear, tanned, and it seemed like no one cared you were not in any of the pictures. 

Your mom made no mention of your absence in the text of the post and none of the comments (mostly your mom’s pta and book club friends) asked about your whereabouts. 

You clicked through the many photos. It wasn’t until you clicked on the last photo that you lost it. 

It was a picture of your whole family (minus you), with a caption that read, “Family time is the best time. So thankful to God for allowing the whole family to join us for this Christmas getaway.” 

Tears welled in your eyes. They had completely erased you out of the family. You threw your phone across the room. 

The tears fell from your eyes and stained your cheeks. You could not stop the sobbing that followed. 

It was stupid. You were stupid. 

You should not have been crying for a family that clearly did not want you. You wiped your tears and tried to calm yourself. 

You struggled to do so but after a few minutes you were finally able to breathe normally again. 

You got out of bed and crossed the room to where you had thrown your phone. Then you picked it up. It was a little busted but nothing cracked. 

So you pocketed it and decided to go downstairs for a glass of water. 

- 

As you started towards the kitchen you noticed lights were on in the study down the opposite hall. 

Aemond had briefly mentioned the study on the initial tour he had given you. 

You wondered who else was up this late as it was well past 2am. 

So you stepped closer. As you neared the study you started to hear small cries and sobs. 

You got closer and tried to peer inside. 

Thankfully the door was ajar enough that you saw who was inside. 

It was Alicent. 

The first thing you noticed was how low cut her nightgown was. 

It was a beautiful sage green, and it hugged her body pretty tightly. Then your gaze traveled back to the low cut top of the nightgown. You knew it was wrong to stare but you wanted to take in just how stunning Alicent was. 

You looked closer and noticed her nipples peeked through the fabric of the nightgown. You swallowed hard. 

“Fuck,” you whispered. 

Then Alicent sniffled and dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief. 

You shook your head. She was clearly upset and there you were ogling her. 

You stepped back and tried to leave. 

But it was too late. 

Alicent stood from her seat. “Who’s there?” She called out. 

You didn’t reply. You were far enough away that you hoped by staying quiet she would drop it and you could leave. 

You didn’t want to intrude on a clearly private moment. 

“Come forward,” Alicent demanded. 

You silently cursed yourself. You had no choice but to enter the study.

[super-paper]

What was the point of Chapter 419 with AFO giving Tomura decay and being involved in his life since he was born, besides generating AFO is behind everything and Kotaro gay affair memes?

I still believe Hori could have pulled this off if he hadn't veered completely off course after 419 because a LOT of Tenko's (and AFO's) arc revolves around the concepts of "identity" and fantasy vs reality (Like, just scratching the surface: AFO attempting to escape from his reality through fantasy, Tenko angrily attempting to pull away the curtain of fantasy and expose the cruel reality of their world. AFO using "reality" as his source of power by claiming its victims for himself, Tenko using "fantasy" as his power by offering those same victims a dream and the promise of an "escape" from their painful reality. "Shigaraki Tomura" as the fictional construct that both AFO and Tenko are attempting to insert themselves into, for both different and similar reasons-- Tenko because he decides to embrace the fact that he killed his family and uses it as evidence that he was "born evil" and "wanted them to die" as a way of explaining his existence. AFO because he wants to escape from the reality that he murdered his brother, while also escaping from the reality of his origin as a helpless infant who no one would look at no matter how much he cried. Blah blah blah etc etc when I say u have to read AFO and Tenko's arcs as a set instead of getting angry at AFO for "inserting himself into Tenko's story," I really do mean it lmao).

Like, MVA aside, Chapter 115 in particular set the tone for Act 2 and HEAVILY foreshadowed what Tenko's arc would end up being about:

(lmao ya'll there is so much evidence in Act 2 that points to the idea that Hori really did want to write a deconstruction of your typical hero story. like, the framing of this panel with Jin angrily turning the TV off when they start talking about "focusing on the positives"????😭I get so sad when I think about the mha we coulda had)

(Side note: Jin was just so so so good as both a character and as a device meant to introduce the reader to MHA's concepts of identity + how a "hero/villain" identities are frequently used as crutches to stop a person from breaking apart under the weight of their trauma

..... which of course makes the fact that Hori rendered his death pointless in the end all the more upsetting :/)

(Pictured: AFO and Tenko fighting over the role of Shigaraki Tomura)

(this scene where Jin talks about the importance of knowing "who u really are" immediately transitions to a scene with AFO, btw. lmao)

((As an aside: 115 is another shining example of how Hori is definitely a competent writer, bc it manages to set up pretty much the entirety of Act 2 + its themes up in just 15-17 pages-- which is all the more reason why the extremely poor quality of MHA's conclusion is so hard to swallow. I definitely don't believe in blaming the editors/publishers alone for how things turned out, but all the same, I do think there was some executive meddling from behind the scenes bc of how rushed and disjointed the epilogue ended up being. It's not the quality we're used to, not by a long shot, and you can tell as much by reading pretty much any chapter before 423.)) /tangent over

ANYWAY. To me, it ways always pretty obvious that AFO was more or less grooming Tenko to be his perfect ~Demon Lord~ OC-- the idea of treating a real person like a fictional character is something I find pretty terrifying + it's something that further emphasizes MHA's metafiction elements, with Tenko being trapped in a role that was written for someone else. I feel that there was adequate build up to AFO being "the author" behind Shigaraki Tomura, specifically-- and it all seemed to be leading up to a point where Tenko would be encouraged to break free & finally take control of his own story ("I needed to hear those words" -> "Those guys (the villains) need a hero, too" -> "You CAN be a hero" "Uh, whoopsie??" 🥲🥲🥲)

Sadly it ends up amounting to nothing because..... Tenko isn't even allowed to fully process the implications of his birth/life and how this has influenced his actions/beliefs/"dream" before exploding, a core scene between him and Nana gets offscreened, and our MC never even bothers to react to the revelation that Tenko's life was scripted. It renders a HUGE part of Tenko's character arc almost completely pointless because we get no actual resolution/pay off for everything that was set up. Like, so much of the finale + epilogue just feels like Hori was going down a check list of plot points/parallels he wanted to include before putting MHA out of its misery, rather than building up to them naturally-- and it's just sad it had to end this way, bc, well. It didn't HAVE to end this way. Hori had all the ingredients necessary to make something truly wonderful, but he didn't use them.

[rosstrytobe]

My thoughts about how still subcontionly Buck is still trying to get Eddie attention

We see in episode 4 how Buck wanted Eddie attention and he tried to get it in many ways:

The gym scene (literally he's showing his body and his technics at the gym like a an animal dance to get his girl)

2) The basketball order (He just bought a baskball with Amazon prime to just make Eddie see that he was interest in play with him)

3) The basketball play (He just show off with Chimney to make Eddie see that he's better than Tommy to play basketball but he isn't and also he hurted Eddie because at some point he didn’t know what else to do to make his jealousy going away and also we know it's a way to copy for Buck. Because when he was little he hurted himself so many times to get his parents attention. Hurting Eddie is like wanted to get all his attention)

But all these ways just make Eddie don't understand Buck at all. Also, Buck thought Eddie was pissed off by him but as Tommy said to him, Eddie was hurt that he made Buck feel left off

Also Maddie is the one saying to Buck that the way his brother was trying to get Eddie attention is wrong and so Buck felt like she was right

Then later Tommy show up and he kissed Buck, getting his attention and Buck had just a mid realisation to how he wanted to get 'someone' attention

Then next episode show Buck and Tommy date:

Eddie shows up (in a way Eddie get to see Tommy and Buck togheter not knowing that it was a date and in some ways Eddie was focused on Buck and Tommy because he said with an octave that he's happy they were hanging out. But Buck didn't want this time Eddie attention as he proceded to make a fool of himself. But Eddie is still focusing on them and later he leaves)

2) The coming out scene (Let's just said that this time Buck got Eddie attention. Because he was a little freaking out by it but then he peoceded to give Buck his support and be happy for him. But just his macro expression just show how he doesn’t get how Tommy is gay and the fact that Buck like someone else)

3) The bachelor party (Now, we get to see an Eddie that just told to Buck to dress with a couple costume in a party Eddie knows Tommy would be there and it's very telling. But also, Buck have finally Eddie full attention to just how Eddie reacts when Buck and Tommy huged in front of him and how Eddie heard Tommy not put a costume at all for Buck bachelor party knowing how much this means to Buck. Also the fact that we saw Eddie looking at Tommy while Tommy was yawing. Like why showing us that? But this time Buck didn't do it conciously but he changed his way to get Eddie attention and in some ways Eddie is focused of Buck and Tommy but he doesn’t know why yet)

Anyway that's it basically

[alexthefunniest]

Funniest mileven arguments to why byler won’t be endgame

I’m sorry if there’s any grammar errors or mistakes, I wrote this angrily at 2 am when I couldn’t sleep.

1. “Its the 80’s”- as if there isn’t any movies that have happy queer endings that were made/set in the 80’s, yall are just lazy and don’t want to actually do any research.

2. “It’s a Netflix original”- ok? And? Like we literally get a new mlm/queer show on Netflix every year, byler is a mlm relationship which Netflix has a lot of, young royals, heartstopper??? Are you guys ok?

3. “Cuz it’s too popular” - we already have over two queer confirmed characters in stranger things, the show that’s about fighting forced conformity ?? The show that focuses on nerds, losers and people that don’t ‘fit in’ ? And y’all find it so hard to see ur two main characters being gay? Read the room respectfully.

4. “It’s one sided” - if it was one sided they would make Mike tell Will he doesn’t like him in s3 and give Will a new love interest in s4 (it has been confirmed that there will be no new characters in s5 and that the producers want every character to have their ‘perfect ending’) Will believed he was a mistake and thought he wouldn’t fall in love, because he is queer so he most definitely will have a queer love interest and it will be Mike.

5. “Mike is in love with el”- is he tho? He never actually said he loved her to her face without the world and her life depending on it, he’s been pressured to say it twice and when she told him she loves him back the man didn’t look happy but conflicted.

6. “Mileven endgame” - it’s really not, the amount of symbolism that points to their downfall (such as everyone calling them the ‘star crossed lovers’ which are basically lovers deemed to fail, and more) is HUGE, they have too many familial parallels it’s insane, why parallel the it couple with family themes and relationships? Another problem I have with this it’s the fact that it’s very rare for the first ‘original’ pairings to stay together till the end of the show (like with Bob and Joyce or Steve and Nancy)

7. “Byler wouldn’t make sense to the plot”- watch the show again, just because somethings more subtle, doesn’t mean it’s not there, y’all will always say that about queer relationships but whenever u guys see a straight relationship in these subtle moments you jump into conclusions that they might end up together, it’s called being a hypocrite.

8. “Mike isn’t gay” - it’s what he’s been telling himself too, the guy was obviously made fun of and called slurs like Will, everyone already thought and knew their relationship was ‘special’ and everyone suspected something, that’s why Mikes own dad was surprised and said “our son, with a girl?” Also your so called straight Mike has a room filled with pictures and posters of buff men, he’s never shown any interest in girls or women (except el who’s been said, looked like a boy in s1) not to mention the first song on his official Spotify playlist being “small town boy” (yk the song about a young gay man running away from his homophobic small town??).

9. Mikes love confession- if u call that a love confession I wouldn’t wanna date u brother, he was pushed to say ily by Will, the same Will that was in the frame of Mike lying when he said that his life “started” when he found El in the woods, which was obviously a lie because Mike called El a weapon and said he’ll “send her back to pennhurst or wherever she comes from” after they found her, also if the love confession was honest why would El be still upset with Mike and not talk to him after??

10. “El wasn’t upset at Mike but was sad about Max” - me when I’m in denial, she wasn’t sad about Max until she found the coke bottle underneath her bed, then we get the flashbacks of her and Max having fun in s3, she wasn’t thinking abt Max before that, its called common sense and logical thinking skills.

11. “There would be no time for byler to develop in s5” - it might seem crazy what I’m about to say, they were literally childhood best friends and it’s been confirmed that Will had a crush on Mike since s1, they literally started to build their romantic relationship MORE in s4, with all the ‘[emotional, tender music playing]’ and parallels between byler and jancy, also even if they haven’t started to build their relationship up in a romantic way in s4, y’all remember how in less than a season Jonathan and Nancy slept together or how Max and Lucas got together in a spawn of a season (mind u they met in the same season). Byler knows each other since little kids and always had potential y’all are just in denial.

12. “Why make Mike queer” - why not? Do y’all actually believe that one of the main characters plot line is just about getting with the girl at the end? Even if it was (which lets be so fr now) why would Mike get with El from the first season (they kissed in s1 and basically u can count that as they’re together wtv) if that was his main goal as a character? Well written shows have something called a “character development” which the producers of st love apparently, so why make Mike just a bland character that just gets with the main girl character, and why have El date the first guy she ever met, I just think it would be very shallow.

That’s all, this was written in a silly way cuz it’s basically me talking to myself, it’s okay if u ship mileven I just really don’t like disrespectful fans that yell at bylers and call the ship disgusting, I don’t care about what who ships as long as we all just have fun and not yell at each other 🫶🏻

[pass1onepr1ncess]

DON'T READ THIS BEFORE FINISHING DANGANRONPA TRIGGER HAPPY HAVOC CHAPTER 2

Below is an analysis of Boy's Life of Despair- particularly how the entire chapter as a whole revolves around gender, queerness, and internalized issues regarding the aforementioned topics!

I know I just posted about this but I started thinking about Ishimaru listening to Pink Pony Club and sobbing bc of his family and reputation. My personal headcanon is that he's definitely gay but never got to unpack that bc he was more focused on being the Ultimate Moral Compass. And then he meets Mondo and starts to realize who he is and that even though their situation sucks that without his family and their status hanging over his head he's free to do some introspection and then just as he's started to find out who he is he loses the one person he's ever gotten that opportunity with and then goes mad with grief and denial not just for Mondo but also for his own identity. He was both grieving his “bro” and the authentic queer man he could've been and it caused him to force himself into the closet in a fit of mental illness and thinking that it's not worth it to find himself if it endangers others. Also Mondo was totally having a very similar if not exact reflection of this with Ishimaru and his internalizes homophobia is what lead to Trial 2 in the first place.

Internalized Homophobia AND toxic masculinity, EPECIALLY on Mondo's side. They both dealt with toxic masculinity but in very different ways. For Ishimaru it was about being a leader and someone the people could follow and have faith in, just like his grandfather was once. A man unbothered by any dilemma who could be a pillar of strength and motivation for any person to lean on, unfeeling and confident and strong. A grandiose statue, if you will.

For Mondo it was about being tough and intimidating, making sure no one would fuck with you and being a more stereotypical Man (at least in Western society). Though these perceptions come from different sources and at different angles, they end in the same result where both of these characters- even subconsciously- feel like they aren't allowed to be themself and instead have to become this molded shape of a man that suits their role in society- whether that be a future Prime Minister who will clear his family name of scandal and debt or a ruthless biker gang leader who doesn't take shit from anybody. Even if they want to, they aren't afforded the right to reflect.

In my mind, while Ishimaru was blissfully unaware of his queerness, Mondo Knew who he was but felt like he couldn't Be that person due to not only being the leader of the Crazy Diamond biker gang, but also because he wanted to be able to fill the shoes of his older brother- especially considering the fact that he feels responsible for Daiya's death.

(Also hi Jojo fans, if you recognize the "Crazy Diamond" biker gang then fun fact! Mondo is a MASSIVE Josuke reference! From his hair, the gang name- even the fact that his and his brother's names spell out "Daiya"-"Mondo!" And it's not the only Jojo reference in the Danganronpa franchise, either!)

Anyway, back on topic. Mondo Knew that he was queer, or at the very LEAST that he wasn't the Man he made himself out to be and that he wanted to be someone different. Someone softer, someone who didn't have to be so tough and intimidate everyone around him for fear of being undermined and not filling the shoes his older brother left for him. So he bottles up his feelings, hides who he really is. He gets angry, not at anyone in particular but angry that he's trapped in this facade of his own making.

So of course, when he finds out about Chihiro (She/They/He in this post btw), he gets even more angry. Chihiro is someone who's been able to experiment and express their identity. She doesn't care what other people think of her and decides to present and express however they feel comfortable- at least in Mondo's eyes. Chihiro has the freedom that Mondo craves so badly, and when she asks Mondo for help to be more Manly- something that Mondo feels like he's a fraud in- of course he gets angry. To Mondo, it seems like Chihiro is throwing this freedom away. This isn't actually the case, of course, but that's how Mondo percieves all of this.

All of this isn't meant to excuse Mondo's actions because I will never excuse or dismiss Literal Murder, but it does provide an explanation. Especially because the way Danganronpa itself handles Chapter 2 is abysmal. I was talking about with a dear friend (Hi, Mattie!) and we were talking about how Chapter 2 as a whole is 100% centered on gender and gender expression but how because it was horribly executed- no pun intended- that it falls so flat despite having the potentional to have a really nice nuanced take on toxic masculinity.

Even Chihiro experienced toxic masculinity! Because they didn't fit the "Big Strong Man" mold at a very young age, they were bullied and harassed for being weak and frail. So, they decided it would be better to be percieved as a girl than to be bullied as an effeminate boy.

Taking this opportunity to talk about MY PERSONAL HEADCANNONS and OPINIONS of Chihiro's gender identity. Which may not align with Your opinion, and it definitely doesn't align with canon- but that is okay! That's why it's a headcanon :). Anyway, personally I do think the Chihiro found comfort in femininity through the years of dressing as a girl. I don't feel like he's fully a trans woman, but I do think he's transfeminine! But in any case, moving along!

Literally every aspect and character involved in the core of Chapter 2's case and trial is centered on how gender affects us- especially how it affects men and AMAB individuals (excluding the whole Byakuya, Toko, and Syo debacle because that is. Another issue entirely and I will likely do an analysis on That as well, especially as someone with DID.)

Unfortunately, Danganronpa as a franchise has some decent ideas and then completely stumbles over itself with 8/10 on them! However, this series is incredibly dear to me and I can't bring myself to hate it. But! It's important to consume media with a critical lense. Don't forgive, excuse, and/or dismiss the faults of your favorites pieces of media just because you like them.

Anyway! A lot of this is headcanon but I also threw in some actual canon in there as well just for funsies skdjhfkjsf

[skepsiss]

Tooth and Nail pt4

Eddie is catching feeeeeeellllliinngg. He has more or less accepted that he is probably queer, but is still unsure of how he feels about Steve specifically. Join me for a very wise conversation with Argyle.

CW: Drug use (weed), scars/description of uncomfortable healing process.

PT1 PT2 PT3

-- Eddie sat crouched on the Wheeler’s basement floor, the chatter and din of music surrounding him. It was a small gathering, currently, and Eddie knew all of these people, but he felt weird about being here still. Not because he hadn’t been invited, or because he didn’t like the people here, but he felt weirdly… self-conscious. 

Robin had given him side-eye when he walked in, but that had been the worst of it. He was sure Steve had talked to her about everything and he didn’t know how forgiving Robin felt about the whole ordeal. He had been avoiding her just as much as he had been avoiding Steve. He was still working his way out of the dog-house though and it felt like Robin’s judgement of how he could prove he was sorry was a bit harsher than Steve’s.

No, there was no real reason to be feeling out of place, but Eddie still did as he nursed a beer and sat on the outskirts of the party. 

They were all gathered around the couch with Jonathan, Nancy, Argyle and Vicki on the couch and then Steve, Robin and Eddie seated on the floor. There was a little side table between Eddie and Steve, and Steve was more than engaged with whatever they were talking about, but Eddie wasn’t really paying attention. Instead he had his knees pinned to his chest and he kept resting his chin between his legs and half watching Vicki talking animatedly about something. His gaze always drifted back towards Steve though and he caught himself staring before redirecting his attention. 

Eddie hadn’t told anyone in the party that he suspected that he was queer and he was sure that Steve hadn’t told anyone either–well, anyone other than Robin. He didn’t really begrudge Steve for telling Robin, but besides that no one else knew. It didn’t matter… not really, they all knew that Steve was bisexual and they even had Robin and her would-be-girlfriend over. They knew Robin was gay, they all knew, it was fine. Jonathan still adored his brother no matter what and Will was gay… no, Eddie wasn’t worried about them not accepting him. He was just figuring it out still and he wasn’t really sure how to go about talking about it or what label to put on. That and… he kept finding himself distracted by Steve. 

Eddie had focused so much on the I’m not queer aspect of the past 2 weeks, that his one week of rest had only given him momentary peace before he had the realization that if he was queer that didn’t mean he had an open invitation to kiss Steve. It wasn’t like people who were queer made out with one another instantly upon figuring out the other one was gay–there was still that whole level of… liking one another.

There were plenty of girls that Eddie had met and he hadn’t the vaguest interest in them. But girls were girls–they were all gorgeous–and he couldn’t really say he had ever experienced a girl coming onto him first but that was to be expected, especially in Hawkins Indiana. Okay, well, maybe he had also never really liked anyone that much before and he had only really kissed a few girls here and there. He had been ga-ga over some chick at a concert he went to down in Kentucky, but they hadn’t exchanged numbers or anything like that even if they had sucked face. So he liked girls, it was just… he hadn’t really gotten past the whole making-out part. He’d kissed like maybe 3 girls in his life and then… Steve. 

All of that was weird to think about and Eddie wasn’t sure how he felt about it. He didn’t like Steve–well, he liked Steve, but he didn’t like him. Steve and him were buddies and…

You kiss all your friends when you’re high?

Gareth’s question cropped up in his mind and Eddie grumbled quietly to himself, which accidentally made Steve look at him. 

Eddie smiled and ruffled his own bangs, trying to hide his blush and his awkwardness behind his hair. “You cool with heading down to the store now?” Robin asked, looking at her watch as she kicked her feet a bit and looked up at Nancy. “Yeah, for sure. We can walk over, grab some stuff,” she shrugged, standing up and initiated the march. “Mind if we…” Jonathan asked, raising his fingers to his mouth with a question which got an eye roll from Nancy. “Vicki are you…” Nancy asked, looking at her as Vicki helped Robin up onto her feet. She looked surprised to be spoken to before nodding and giving her reassurance. “Oh, yeah, for sure. If you guys want to smoke, that’s fine,” she replied. Eddie sort of reacted slowly and was the last one to his feet, his sudden scrambling meant he was already falling behind as he put his half finished beer on the table. There was motion beside him and he glanced to see Steve stretching his hand down to help him to his feet.

Eddie pinched his lips together and hesitated before accepting the gesture, letting Steve haul him to his feet. 

“You good?” Steve asked quietly, he wasn’t whispering but he was keeping his voice low so as to not draw attention to them. “No, yeah–” Eddie replied, sounding surprised before he remembered to laugh. He knitted his fingers behind his head, smiling goofily at Steve to reassure him. “A walk’ll do be good… do me good–uh, just distracted.” Steve seemed reassured by that and nodded before catching up to Robin and Vicki who were already out of the basement door. 

Eddie followed behind slowly, keeping up with the party but lagging behind a bit as Nancy chatted with Vicki up front and Robin and Steve followed behind. 

Jonathan and Argyle were already lighting up, chatting between one another before passing the blunt forward for Steve to partake. Nancy and Robin seemed to be abstaining, but Vicki didn’t turn the weed down as she continued her conversation. 

It was all so… friendly. It was nice, in an odd kind of way, like looking through a window. It just… felt difficult to engage with them all properly. He just kept letting his gaze linger on the back of Steve’s head, or his profile when he turned to joke with someone. He was the odd-man-out. No matter how you sliced it everyone had someone to walk with. Nancy seemed to be befriending Vicki quickly, and Vicki could always drop back to talk to Robin. Steve could walk with Robin or Nancy and then Jonathan could mingle in with any of them–he was the odd one out in a group of seven.

Eddie noticed when Argyle started to lag behind, adjusting his step and holding the joint out toward Eddie. He didn’t refuse it and took the blunt as Argyle fell into step beside him. “You okay back here, metal-man?” Argyle asked, smiling in a way which made Eddie laugh. Metal-man, cute. “Yeah, better now,” Eddie said, gesturing with the blunt and forcing a smile as he took a drag and passed it back to Argyle. He expected him to take the hit and then meander to the group, but Argyle hung back as he pulled on the joint. “You’re quiet today, you know?” Argyle continued, his tone slow and methodical. 

Eddie had never really met someone like Argyle before–the proper hippie type. All the druggies he knew were too wired, violent or baked past being able to hold a conversation. 

“I know,” Eddie replied, not feeling it in himself to act energetic and lie as he accepted another hit.

“Hmmm,” Argyle hummed, sounding as if he was considering something very wise. It made Eddie snort a bit, raising his brow at the younger. 

“Contemplation,” he finished, nodding as if he understood perfectly what was going on. 

Eddie stared at him a moment and then snorted again, smoking quickly before passing the blunt back over. They continued like that, passing the smoke between them without needing to ask. “Life and existence and all that,” Eddie said a bit sarcastically, not really taking anything Argyle was saying seriously. 

“Hey, man, don’t knock it,” Argyle hummed, closing his eyes as he smoked, “contemplation, being present with your thoughts and your emotions… it’s like breathing in for the soul.”

Eddie wasn’t really sure what to say to that or how to take any of those words. They sounded meaningful, but at the same time they sounded like bullshit.

“You get that from a fortune cookie?” Eddie asked, smiling and wanting to be a bit jokey instead of serious. He didn’t even know Argyle that well. 

“You guys have a Chinese food place around here?” 

Eddie laughed, not sure if Argyle was serious but the response was more than a little ridiculous. 

“No, man, not in Hawkins, you’d have to go to the city,” Eddie chuckled, feeling a touch better with the mixture of weed and conversation. “Ah, there,” Argyle said, smiling which made Eddie watch him a bit nervously.

There, what? He thought, glancing behind him for whatever reason to make sure he hadn’t missed observing something. 

“Breathing in. Laughter is the best for that,” Argyle explained, still smiling. 

“I thought contemplation was…”

“No, contemplation is just the vehicle man, the goal is joy. Like riding down a smooth highway on your way to an uncharted land. You can get stuck, contemplating too long, that’s why you gotta breathe in and laugh, put some proper motion back into locomotion.”

“Loko-motion,” Eddie replied quietly, not able to help the joke. It took Argyle a moment, but he laughed and pointed at Eddie as if to wag his finger. “Good one, good one,” he breathed and Eddie couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face for making Argyle laugh properly. It had been a stupid joke, but he always felt better when he made someone laugh. 

Argyle was right though… the goal was joy. That was such a weird way for Eddie to think about it though. Things seemed too complicated for that to be the only answer, and honestly he didn’t really know how to get there. How did you just… go toward joy? How did you do that?

“Say…” Eddie started, trying to figure out what he wanted to say. “This highway… say it’s a bumpy ride. Treacherous even… how are you supposed to know you’re moving towards joy if every route feels like you’re… going to drive off a cliff.” 

Argyle hummed in contemplation over that, actually considering what Eddie had said as if it was a real question. Eddie didn’t mind talking in metaphors, but he usually did it for story telling not… conversations. 

“Do you know the cliff is bad?” Argyle asked, nodding his head slowly.

“Historically, jumping off a cliff is bad,” Eddie corrected, which made Argyle laugh a bit again. 

“I dunno, man. Maybe you’re not driving a car. Maybe you’re meant to go off the cliff because it’s the only way you’ll catch air. You’re meant to fly.”

“That could be really dangerous advice to the wrong person,” Eddie questioned, raising a brow at Argyle as he continued to hum thoughtfully. 

“True, true… but it’s not a real cliff. Not even a real highway or car or whatever. It’s all just fabricated, man. It all is,” Argyle gestured around him as he spoke, indicating toward the street and the houses they walked past. “It’s all in our heads no matter how we look at it, ain’t no danger in listening to where your mind wants to go. So long as you’re not hurting anyone else.” 

Eddie frowned at that, not sure if he liked the advice or not, or if it was even considered real advice. He was right though, the cliff or the highway or whatever the hell else was all in his head no matter what. It was all in his head. He was the one making the road bumpy. 

Argyle smoked the rest of the joint as the two of them fell into silence, just walking behind the rest of the party out of earshot. Argyle didn’t push it and Eddie appreciated that as he felt his mind slow down a bit. Smooth sailing. A smooth ride down the highway to joy. 

“Something wrong with Steve?” Argyle asked after a long pause. It caught Eddie’s attention right away though and he looked at Argyle sharply. 

“Huh?” He was totally caught off guard by the question, his face flushing a bit. “Steve, something wrong? You sure are staring at him a lot tonight.”

Eddie felt his face heat up more and he turned his attention towards the ground, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he felt shame wash over him. He hadn’t realized he was staring again, he hadn’t meant to. 

“No, no, he’s fine,” Eddie answered, his words a bit jumbled as he rubbed at his lips. “Okay,” Argyle replied easily, again, not pushing it. 

“We…” Eddie started to say, not sure why he was sharing with Argyle of all people. “We… uh… we got into a bit of a fight the other week.” “Bummer,” Argyle nodded, frowning to give his sympathies. “We made up,” Eddie corrected quickly which had Argyle smiling instead, still nodding his head. 

“He just… he said he was willing to let me make it up to him,” Eddie replied, only telling half the truth. He was unsure how to bridge the topic within himself still, let alone with someone like Argyle. “I just don’t… really know how to do that,” Eddie continued, frowning as he said the words out loud. He had never voiced his concerns and they felt real now that he had said them. It felt bad and better all at once; as if the scope of the task was the right size even if it was still difficult to deal with. 

“Show up,” Argyle said quietly, nodding still as if he had gotten lost to the motion and was unable to stop. “Usually just means showing up.” Eddie stared at Argyle as he spoke, not sure if it was the weed or something else, but that bit of advice actually made sense. Proving he was sorry was just… showing up. “You know, man,” Argyle hummed as they started to get close to town, the shop lights illuminating their path now. “You should try being a little less scared of that cliff.”

“I’m not scared,” Eddie replied with a frown, feeling put on the spot. 

Argyle was picking up his pace a bit to rejoin the group, but he turned to look at Eddie while walking backward. “Sure you are, we all are. Just don’t be afraid to fly if that’s what you’re meant to do. The cliff might not be so bad. Won’t know if you’re a plane if you live your life on the ground,” Argyle offered as he put his arms out in a T formation and swooped to the right as if he was impersonating a plane. 

Eddie stared at him a long while as he fell back in beside Jonathan and put his arm over his shoulder in a friendly way. He could hear Argyle talking about food or something in that vein, and his nonchalant attitude made Eddie feel weird about the whole interaction. It was almost as if it hadn’t happened at all. It left him feeling a bit spacey and unsure before he picked up his pace as well and properly joined the party, stepping up beside Vicki. 

–

Eddie turned the box around in his hand, feeling the effects of the weed as he looked at the pictures of children eating cereal and brightly coloured cartoons springing around the cover of the container. He wasn’t so far gone that he was tripping, but it was distracting nonetheless. “You want it?” Steve asked and Eddie looked up slowly toward him as he spoke before smiling easily. “Sure,” he replied, looking back at the box without handing it over. “Do you want it?” Steve chuckled at him and Eddie couldn’t help but laugh back in a quiet way, enjoying the easy interaction. Weed did chill him out and he felt less anxious about being around Steve like this. That didn’t mean he couldn’t feel the prick of concern in the back of his brain, or the understanding that he just… wanted to be around Steve. He wanted him to pay attention to him and talk and keep him company. That feeling just wasn’t laced with fear. Steve took the box out of his hand and Eddie let him before Steve turned the product around in his hand as well and put it back on the shelf. He grabbed a different cereal, shaking the box slightly before motioning for Eddie to follow him. “Mind if we do this one?” He asked and Eddie nodded, still smiling as he followed Steve up towards the till. 

The cashier was watching all of them suspiciously, but none of the party were making a ruckus and instead were just quietly meandering around the store and grabbing a few things to buy. 

Steve paid for the cereal and a pack of gum and Eddie lingered before deciding he should buy some smokes. He emptied his pockets before handing over the exact change for the pack and getting an incredulous look from the cashier. He handed over the pack anyway and Eddie left the store but not before turning and subtly flipping the guy off. Outside, Steve had already opened the box of cereal and was pouring a small amount into his hand, making a mess as the colourful puffs of food fell onto the ground. “You’re making a mess of it, man,” Eddie chuckled, coming over to cup his hands under Steve’s to catch some of the stray bits of food. “Here, here,” Eddie insisted as he grabbed for the box after pushing some cereal into his mouth. Eddie stuffed his arm into the cereal box unsophisticatedly and grabbed a fistful of cereal before attempting to put the puffs into Steve’s hold. “Fuck off,” Steve laughed, the two of them making just as much of a mess. They were both laughing by the time everyone else came out of the store and they started their trek back toward the Wheeler’s house. Nancy was actually properly holding a few grocery bags of snacks, but the rest of them seemed to just have odd, wayward food products in their hands to enjoy. Vicki was even trying to eat small spoonfuls of pre-made icing and Robin was laughing at her, attempting to “help.”

Things felt easy right now though and Eddie smiled at the group before hopping up onto the retention wall by them and starting to walk along the edge. He practised his balance as he kept pace with Steve. “You’re such a kid,” Steve teased lightly and Eddie glanced at him quickly before having to look forward again so he wouldn’t fall. “What the hell are you talking about?” Eddie asked, humour in his voice as he kept his arms out to the side to keep his balance. “You’re like a little kid,” Steve repeated, his tone affectionate as he smiled at Eddie. “Fuck off,” Eddie mocked back, laughing as he said it. “I’ll have you know I’m the oldest one here.” “That makes it worse,” Steve teased, which got a bark of a laugh from Eddie. He started to stagger, losing his balance as he laughed and toppled toward Steve. The fall wasn’t so bad as to knock him over or anything like that, but it was amusing as Eddie reached out to brace himself and hit Steve’s shoulder, the two of them harmlessly bumping together. It had Eddie laughing loudly as Steve sputtered and half caught him, stopping Eddie from hitting the ground. “Fuck you, Harrington,” Eddie laughed, no weight to his words as he caught his breath. “You trying to kill me?” Everyone walked past them as Steve steadied him, a few of them laughing along with Eddie even if they didn’t know what the joke was. “You good, Munson?” Steve chuckled, obviously amused as he helped Eddie right himself. Eddie adjusted, still snickering, before starting to walk normally again beside Steve. They grew quiet, but it was an easy silence that made Eddie feel warm as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and swayed through his steps. “Hey,” Eddie said finally, smiling at the ground and keeping his attention on his feet. “Thanks for uh, thanks for giving me a second chance.” “Yeah, course,” Steve answered easily, the words flowing between them unencumbered. “Had to, you were miserable.” Eddie laughed again, this time softer as he rubbed under his nose and sniffed. He felt painfully shy but not all that awkward about it. Everything Steve was saying was making him grin and making him want to get closer to him; to do something stupid and having him look and make Steve laugh. He felt bashful and energetic while at the same time feeling completely at peace and more confident than he had in weeks. “Does it bother you?” Steve asked, and Eddie had to look at him to process those words. His owlish stare seemed to communicate enough as Steve explained. “Your…” he started, pointing to his own cheek and tapping a spot on his jaw. “Your scar…” Eddie blinked and then lifted his own hand to his face, touching the patch of bumpy skin that cut up his jaw and then down his neck. It was easy enough to hide with his hair and you only really noticed the scar in good lighting. Still, it was nasty when he first got it, but as the months progressed the gnarled nature of the wound had lessened. It would still always be obvious, but Eddie didn’t find it all that ugly. “Not really,” Eddie admitted, getting distracted by the feeling of the bumpy and smooth texture of the wound. “It’s okay.”

It had been annoying to eat at first, he could remember, and he hated the feeling of his skin being too tight as he spoke or chewed his food. It still felt stiff at times, but he was starting to get used to it. “Feels funny still,” Eddie chuckled, rubbing the spot a couple more times before dropping his hand to put it back in his pocket. “Can I feel?” Steve asked after a pause which made Eddie blink at him quickly. “Uh, sure,” Eddie offered, obviously thrown off by the question. “No, forget it,” Steve corrected, facing forward again and pushing his bangs back out of his face, looking awkward all of a sudden. “No, it’s okay,” Eddie insisted, motioning with his hands to try and communicate that he had just been surprised, not bothered. “No, it’s weird to ask that—kind of rude too,” Steve replied, laughing awkwardly and turning his attention to the other side of the street. “Steve,” Eddie tried again, grabbing Steve’s forearm with both hands and pulling on him a bit. “It’s fine, man.” “I’m okay, don’t worry about—” Eddie grumbled loudly as Steve tried to backpedal again and instead used his grip to shake Steve’s arm childishly. “Touch my face, Steve!” Eddie yelled, purposefully getting loud and speaking in a jokey manner to embarrass Steve. “Jesus,” Steve hushed, putting his hand over Eddie’s mouth. “Okay, okay.” Steve was shooting glances toward the rest of their party and some of them half turned to look at them to see what the commotion was about. Obviously, the extra attention bothered Steve because he hunched up as people slowly turned back around.

Eddie smiled from behind Steve’s hand, no caution in his brain as he stuck out his tongue and licked Steve’s palm. Steve shouted a sound of surprise, reeling back and making some of the cereal fall out of the box he was holding in his other hand. “Gross!” Steve yelled, which made Eddie laugh hard. People were definitely looking at them now which seemed to make Steve flush slightly as he realized the error. Eddie grabbed at his own stomach, laughing rowdily as he stumbled away from Steve. Steve grabbed a handful of cereal and chucked the pieces at Eddie, making him laugh harder as he covered his head. “Mercy!” He called through his giggles, “don’t, don’t. You’ll get it stuck in my hair!” Steve was laughing with him now, the two of them making a ruckus before Nancy turned toward them and hushed their antics. “Come on guy, you’re going to get us in trouble.” Steve stopped throwing the cereal and Eddie’s laughter died down slightly, even if he was smiling still. Steve didn’t seem all that bothered by their interaction and obviously found amusement in Eddie’s teasing even if he had been embarrassed initially. “You’re so disgusting,” Steve said once Nancy had turned back around, chuckling a bit still. Eddie grinned at him, sticking his tongue out again and putting up the rock-on gesture so it framed his mouth. “You don’t even know the half of it,” he teased, which got him a good-natured shove from Steve. He laughed again as he righted himself, being conscientious of not getting too loud. “Here,” Steve offered, pushing the box of cereal toward Eddie. He took it without complaint but looked at Steve, confused anyway. “Your hair,” Steve explained as he stopped walking and made Eddie stop too. He didn’t explain more, but it became obvious that he intended to remove the bits of cereal that had gotten stuck in Eddie’s hair. He was concentrating on the act as he pulled Eddie’s hair forward and plucked the food particles from his curls, the attention making Eddie feel soft. He just sort of stared at Steve’s chest, his head slightly craned downward as he waited for Steve to finish. As he did, Eddie glanced up again, making eye contact. “You can…” Eddie started, reaching up with one hand and tapping his own cheek where his scar was. Steve seemed to hesitate, but he did eventually reach forward, touching the spot for a brief moment as he stared at that point on Eddie’s face. His expression was a bit faded as he seemed to distractedly touch the scar before slowly letting his hand drop. Steve looked so dazzling in the low light; his chestnut hair glinting with faded bits of blonde, bleached from swimming in pools and staying out in the sun. He really was boyishly handsome. It was no wonder he had been so popular in school, even if Eddie was starting to realise that his popularity had everything to do with sports, good looks, and money and had very little to do with who he was as a person. Steve was a dork… goofy and awkward, well-meaning but completely uncharismatic. He had his moments, but Steve didn’t seem to shine when he got attention nor did he seek it out. He was so pretty though…. Cliff, meet Eddie. Eddie… meet cliff. The two of them held the position for a moment, staring at one another before Steve turned to face forward again. 

Eddie followed suit a beat later, the two of them growing quiet. “Thanks,” Eddie mumbled, still smiling as he stepped beside Steve again and they started walking. “For uh,” Eddie said, shaking the box of cereal and then hugged it to his chest again, keeping his attention forward. “Oh, yeah… sure,” Steve replied, “don’t mention it.” The comfortable silence faded slowly and made way for regular, contemplative silence as the two of them walked. Eddie didn’t hate it and he still felt a bit warm from their earlier interaction, but he felt introspective as he clutched the box of cereal. It still felt too soon to know for sure–or at least Eddie wanted to tell himself that–but he was entertaining the idea of…properly liking Steve. Maybe. It still felt far-fetched and even if it was true that didn’t mean he was willing to sacrifice their friendship. He’d never asked anyone out, and he wasn’t going to have Steve be the first person he tried it on. Even if Steve was secretly a dork, he was still a different breed of dork than Eddie was. He was glad they got along and he was glad that Steve seemed to actually enjoy his company, but that didn’t mean they were romantically compatible. 

Not that he liked him.

Not that he wanted to put himself through that emotional ordeal. 

Steve opened the door as they got back to the Wheeler’s basement, holding it for Eddie and stepping aside. Eddie bowed in an exaggerated manner, chuckling before starting to walk through the door. Steve shoved his shoulder to make him walk faster and Eddie laughed properly, grinning over his shoulder at Steve as he watched a smile spread across his face too. 

[mephistopheleswasrobbed]

So, since Peaceful Property is supposedly not a BL this gives me the opportunity to go full Pepe Silvia on it.

Therfore, allow me to present all of my evidence that Peaceful Property/On Sale is gay, actually:

1

In a clear parallel both Home and Peach in their introcuctory scene punch another person because they're scared of ghosts.

Home punches his (at that point about-to-be-) ex girlfriend.

Peach punches Best, his ex friend/colleague. Or is he? Because as so eloquently pointet out by respectthepetty here, Best is a little shady and Pangpang doesn't seem to like him. So until we get evidence to the contrary, I'm choosing to theorise that there was something between them, even just a one-sided crush.

Which means that we begin the show with both our main boys literally punching their respective romantic past in the face.

2

When their landady comes to collect the overdue rent, Pangpang assures her that a billionaire will fall in love with her handsome brother any day now.

While she is saying that, the camera focuses in on a news report speaking of the death of a wealty man

Attention is drawn to the fact that someone will inherit that wealth (emphasised by showing the dead guys oppulent mansion),

and then we see Home, looking like the epitome of stupid rich within that mansion.

Thus the show draws a clear line from Pangpangs satement about a billionaire falling in love with Peach, to Home about to become said a billionaire.

3

After realising that he's going to be even richer than he already was Home videocalls his friend in the US

Two men, sitting next to each other on a video call? They must obviously be a couple. Which means Home has gay friends (good ones at that, seeing how this Dustin Trust is the first one Home calls after receiving the news). Also one of them calls Home "Thai boy" and that's also pretty gay. This is admittedly not my strongest argument but we're in "not a BL" territory so I'll take everything.

4

He doesn't know why at this point but Home is clearly drawn to Peach from their first meeting, coming back TWICE to assure him they will see each other again.

5

More to the point, we see Home interact with Kan a total of five times in the first episode. When they're first introduced, at the will reading, when she tells him about the houses, at the Fan Singsing exorcism and back at the mansion after the real exorcism. The first three happen before Home and Peach meet for the first time and Home is flirty towards Kan in all three of them.

However in the last two encounters, after meeting Peach, he makes no further attempts at flirting with her.

Now, I'm sure this will change in the next episode, but for now I'm taking it as evidence that his attention has shiftet.

6

Pangpang tells Home to trust her brother and he gets a Look.

When he asks Peach a question and doesn't get an answer quickly enough, he tries to kick him which is kinda cute and also somewhat reminicent of schoolboy-with-a-crush behaviour.

Now, I'm not sure this is anything but throughout this whole scene Peach is framed between Best and Home. And I'm choosing to read it as Peach being currently at a stage between his past (Best) and his future (Home, and also Pangpang next to Home). This tracks insofar as Best is left of Peach and (at least in the culture I'm familiar with, not sure if it's different in Thailand) one would usually draw a timeline from left (past) to right (future).

(The previous picture already demonstrates this point but I think the green light reflection over Peach's eyes looks cool so I'm including this one, too)

After the sucessful exorcism Pangpang hypes up her brother. She and Best celebrate with Peach while Home stays behind them and looks at Peach contemplatively.

And this, my friends, is the moment he falls. Followed by the realisation that he likes him now, although whether he's aware that he like likes him remains to be seen.

7

Home then goes home (hah) and procedes to watch edits of his newfound crush, alone in the dark.

This, along with some ghost talk with Kan, makes him remember a conversation with his grandfather where said man told him to figure out the meaning of "home" before he can help him sell houses. Peach is helping him start to realise the true meaning of his own name.

8

The next time we see Home he's just casually laying in Peach's bed, watching him.

How long has he been there? How long was he going to just watch Peach if he hadn't turned around? What made him decide to just hop in bed with and stare at Peach in the first place? Who knows. (Well gay thoughts for the last question obvs) Whatever the answer, this is not very my-feelings-are-purely-platonic behaviour.

9

Now Peach is punching Home. If the first two punches were there to signal the end of two relationships, this third on is here to mark the start of a new one. Puncher + puncher = luuve (and more punching)

10

Of course Home had to come convince Peach to team up with him right away even though it is the middle of the night. Because he's excited about this and he can't wait. Ahh, puppy love.

And then he rises his eyebrows at Peach suggestively and we end on them standing across from each other, a bed in their middle.

Because that's where they'll end up. (Although maybe not this specific one. Not sure how Pangpang would feel about that.)

And that's all for this episode.

I realise that this has been quite Home-focused, but that is simply because Home has fallen first. Peach is too busy worrying about ghosts and rent money to be falling in love. For now.