#flirting with moots is my whole thing

[fanaticsnail]

YOU ARE TK GOOD TO ME SWEETNESS!!!! Thank you thank you thank you

Any excuse to spoil a moot and write some kisses. I love writing kisses, and you looked like you needed it 😘😘😘

[percyluvr]

sam winchester x fem!witch!reader summary: you're unaware of your witchy heritage, or even the existence of the supernatural, until two hunters come waltzing into your life claiming that you and your mother are witches wc: 9802 warning: pre-bunker era supernatural, violence (not a lot but enough to warrant a warning, i think), not proofread dedicated to my only (i think) pjo + spn moot, skye

“You’re up early, Sammy,” Dean says, looking into the doorway at his brother wiping sweat off his forehead. “And sweaty.”

“Yeah, I went for a jog. You should try it, it’s good for you. Plus, it’s nice outside.”

“Right, no thank you. Sleep is essential to keep looking this good.”

“Alright, man, if you say so,” Sam replies, disgust apparent on his face.

“Whatever. Listen to this,” Dean starts. “A middle-aged woman in Tupelo, Mississippi, was found dead last night with all of her teeth missing, and some freaky ass carving of some horned thing on her chest. Her husband came home and found her lying on the bathroom floor. Apparently she didn’t die until after she made it to the hospital, though, so whoever or whatever did this wanted it to be long and painful.”

“Huh. Sounds creepy.”

“Exactly. So what do you think? Our kind of gig?” Dean asks, fully knowing they were going to go find out either way.

“Yeah, definitely. Y’wanna head out now or get something to eat?”

“I’m hungry as hell. I need a burger before we deal with this.”

“I feel you. Well, not the burger part, but I’m definitely gonna need food before we head out.”

“Let’s hit the town then, see what there is to eat here,” Dean says, grabbing his jacket and shrugging it over his shoulders before walking out the door, Sam following after grabbing his laptop and jacket of his own.

****

After driving for a bit, they find a small, semi-trashy diner.

"I can't believe this is the only decent looking place in this whole town," Dean complains.

"I mean, what do you expect? We're in a town with a population below three thousand."

"Right. The food better be good or else I'll be pissed. Give me that menu," he grumpily demanded.

"Their salad looks good."

"Yeah, real funny. I'm gonna get that special edition deluxe baconator," Dean said excitedly, mood immediately improving at the sight of a greasy burger on the menu.

Sam makes a face, about to say something, but is interrupted by the waitress arriving at the table.

"You boys ready to order or do you need more time?" She asks, eyeing Dean.

"Oh, we're ready," Dean flirts.

Sam rolls his eyes. "I'll get the, uh, shake it up salad."

"Okay, and for you?" She asks Dean.

"I'll get that deluxe baconator."

"Got it, I'll be back in a sec."

She starts walking away, Dean eyeing her every step of the way.

"Seriously, dude?" Sam asks in disgust.

"Yeah, look at her, dude. Tell me you don't want a piece of that."

"Alright, man, enough. As soon as we finish we're getting right out of here, no flirting."

"Whatever. Don't be jealous you never get laid."

Sam rolls his eyes as the waitress walks over with a salad in one hand and Dean's burger in the other.

"Thank you," Dean says, giving her a wink. Sam sighs exasperatedly for what feels like the six hundredth time today.

"You've got to stop that."

"Stop what? I'm just appreciating the beauties of the world."

"Yeah, I'm ignoring you now. Eat your food so we can go."

"Who died and made you boss?" Dean mutters.

Sam ignores him, and proceeds to wolf down his salad.

"Little hungry there?" Dean asks.

"Last time I checked, I was the one that went for a three mile jog this morning, not you, so I'll eat all I want, thanks."

"Just asking, don't get your panties in a twist."

"Whatever, I'm done eating."

Dean wolfs down the rest of his greasy, and in Sam's opinion, disgusting burger, managing to nearly choke on it twice, then stands up and walks toward the counter. He turns around and mouths 'getting her number,' and raises his eyebrows twice at Sam, who just rolls his eyes in response.

Sam shakes his head and walks out to the Impala, assuming that Dean is flirting, with a side of paying for their breakfast.

He opens the shiny black door of his brother's 1967 Chevy Impala and sits down on the beige seat, looking out the window at the diner. Moments later, the door opens and Sam sees Dean’s smug smile and a small piece of paper being waved around in the air.

When Dean sits down in his car, he immediately looks at Sam. “And that is how it’s done by a true master of charm,” he boasts, putting the key in the ignition and shifting to reverse.

“Good for you. I can get girls’ numbers too, y’know. I’m not celibate, or whatever crap you call me.”

“Sure, Sammy. Whatever makes you feel better. But if you really think you can get a girl’s number instead of me, you’re mistaken. So, whoever gets the number of the hottest girl wins.”

“That’s stupid, I’m not doing that.”

“We’ll see.”

“No, we won’t see. I’m focusing on the case.”

Sam sees Dean smirk in response as they pull out of the parking lot. He clenches his jaw in annoyance.

****

Halfway on the way to Tupelo, Sam asks, “So what do you think we’re looking at here? ‘S not everyday we work a job like this.”

“Honestly? No idea. Not a big fan of the carving on the chest, either. Never seen a symbol like that before.” 

"Great," Sam grumbles, and for the rest of the car ride his thoughts were full of possibilities of what they could be hunting.

****

Four hours later, the Impala rolls into Tupelo, and the first building they see is a fairly decent looking motel, which they decide to spend the night in. After checking into the motel, they carry their bags into the room, immediately grabbing out their fake FBI badges and cheap costume suits.

After quickly changing, they head out to the Impala. “Ready to see every dentist’s nightmare?” Dean jokes.

“Actually, pretty sure that would be you. I can’t remember a day where you didn’t eat some kind of candy or tooth rotting food,” Sam says. “Or even brushed your teeth for that matter.”

“Dude, I brush my teeth.” Sam raises his eyebrow. “Sometimes.”

Sam scoffs. “Yeah, right. Your breath smells like a dead person.”

****

Dean parks the Impala in front of a white two-story house in some, as Dean says, stuffy suburban neighborhood. They get out of the car and walk over to the house, Sam knocking on the front door.

A man, the woman's husband, Sam assumes, opens the door.

“Mr. Feezerman, we'd like to talk to you about your wife,” Sam says, flashing his fake badge.

“Thank God the FBI is involved. The cops here have no idea what's going on. Come in,” Mr Feezerman says, gesturing for them to come in.

Dean sits down on the couch, leaving Sam standing next to it.

“Mr. Feezerman, do you mind if I use your bathroom?” Sam asks.

“Go right ahead. It’s upstairs, the second door on the left.”

“Thanks,” Sam says with a little nod of his head.

Upstairs in the bathroom, Sam searches through the drawers for a hex bag, but comes up empty. He moves onto checking the cabinet below the sink, but still nothing. He finally looks in the medicine cabinet and finds a small brown cloth tied together by a leather string.

"Damn it," he grumbles.

He grabs the bag and heads back downstairs after putting it in his pocket.

He reaches the bottom of the stairs and sees Dean turn to look at him. Sam gives him a nod indicating his search was successful.

"Alright, that's all, thank you, Mr. Feezerman," Dean says.

****

"Alright, so what are we thinking?" Dean asks.

"Well, based on the hex bag I found, I'm thinking witch. And not some beginner level witchcraft, either, dude. I'm talking ancient witchcraft, warts, wrinkles, and all."

"Awesome," Dean groans.

"Yeah. And I'm thinking it's not just one witch, either. Witches this strong usually form covens to protect themselves."

"Awesome times two," Dean says, furrowing his eyebrows and grimacing.

"Well, what did you get? She have any enemies?"

"Her husband said that her and some of the other prissy ladies were in some sort of book club or whatever he said, I wasn’t really listening. I was thinking about that waitress from before,” Dean says dreamily.

“Dude, focus.”

“Right, anyways. Apparently, he found out through some lady she was friends with that she was cheating on her husband with one of the other lady’s husbands. Say that five times fast.”

“Sounds complicated, but also like we have some clear suspects.”

“Right. The book club or wine club or whatever it is these trophy wives do with their free time.”

“Dude, chill with the ‘I hate cookie-cutter families’ thing.”

“My bad.”

“You wanna head to the morgue or talk to suspects?”

“I’ll go to the morgue, you talk to suspects. I can’t handle any more of these people.”

“Alright. Did you get any names or addresses?”

“Obviously. This isn’t my first hunt,” Dean says, rolling his eyes.

“Alright, man. Take me to the first house.”

****

When they reach the first house, Sam gets out of the car.

“Meet back here in 30?” Sam asks.

“Uhh, y’know what? I think I’ll come with.” 

“What happened to not being able to handle any more of these people today?”

“Well that is one cougar just begging to be tamed,” Dean says, eyeing up the woman sitting on the porch.

“Disgusting, seriously.”

“Don’t hate the player.”

“Shut up.”

They walk up the pathway and up the stairs. When they reach the porch, the blonde woman gets up from her spot on the swing.

“Hello, boys, how can I help you?” She asks.

“FBI, we have a few questions about Amelia Feezerman,” Dean says, holding up his fake badge.

“Oh, dear. Come inside, then,” she says, leading them inside to the living room.

“So, nice place you got here,” Sam says.

“Oh, thank you,” she says, and before she can continue, Sam hears the pitter-patter of feet on the floor. “Honey, the cookies look delicious. Hopefully you two like chocolate chocolate chip.”

“Oh, I’m not really a sugar pers-“ Sam starts to say, but when he sees the woman standing in front of him, he quickly changes his mind. “But it doesn’t hurt occasionally.”

“Good, it’d be a shame if these cookies went to waste,” you say, winking at him.

“Like mother like daughter, damn,” Dean says under his breath.

Sam elbows him. “Knock it off,” he hissed.

“Before you two leave, let me know how the cookies are,” you say, gaze lingering on Sam before you walk out of the living room and back into the kitchen.

“We will,” Sam says, making ‘goo-goo eyes’, as Dean later calls them, at you.

“Dude, go in there and talk to her, I’ll talk to the mom here,” Dean says lowly to Sam, who nods in response and follows you into the kitchen.

The unfamiliar sound of footsteps prompts you to turn around, surprised to see the, in your opinion, cuter agent following you into the kitchen.

“Hello, agent,” you say with a grin.

“Hey, I’m Sam,” he shyly responds.

“Well, Sam, what did you think of the cookies?” You ask eagerly.

“They were really good. I’m really a sweets type of person, but you surprised me,” he compliments, the crinkling of his eyes serving as an effect of the wide smile gracing his face. You think that his smile makes him at least five times cuter, but you decide to keep that to yourself, for now at least.

“Well, thank you. I’m glad to contribute to the conversion of you into a dessert lover,” you joke, earning another beautiful smile from him.

“So, I’m not exactly here to talk about your cookies, however delicious they may be,” he admits, albeit a bit nervously for someone in the FBI, you think.

You raise an eyebrow. “How can I help you, then?”

“Have you heard about the death of Amelia Feezerman?” Your eyes widen, and you nearly choke on the cookie you were eating.

“What? Oh my God, no, I had no idea.”

“Ah, so you wouldn’t happen to know anything about her death?” He questions.

“Um, no? Why would I know anything about that?” You wearily ask.

“We thought that maybe you would know if there was any reason that anyone would want to hurt her.”

“Well, I didn’t really know her all that well. I know that she was in some book club thing with my mom, but that’s about it,” you say, crossing your arms. “Actually, I did hear that she was getting it on with some of her friends’ husbands.”

“Yeah, we know that,” Sam begins, “wait, plural husbands?”

“Yep,” you say, popping the ‘p.’ “She’d get with anything that breathes.”

“I see. So do you think any of these women would want to get revenge on her for that?”

“Oh, definitely. Some of these women are vicious. Rich women are some of the craziest people I’ve ever met, so glad I’m only back for three months,” you snicker.

Sam laughs. “So, you in college, then?” 

“Yeah, I’m in my third year, just home for the summer,” you explained.

“Yeah? You enjoying college?”

“Partially, I mean sometimes I miss my mom, but then I remember that visiting her means having to come back here, and I’m over it immediately,” you sheepishly admit.

“Really? It doesn’t seem too bad here, other than the death,” he says.

“Yeah, well, I guess you haven’t seen how people really are here.”

“How do you mean?”

“I guess I just mean that people here are petty and would do anything to get back at anyone for the smallest stuff,” you say sadly. “Especially some of my mom’s friends.”

You take the look on Sam’s face as an incentive to continue, “her friends are like, money obsessed, and if any other woman gets close to their husbands, somehow they’re mysteriously gone within the month. It’s kind of freaky, to be honest.”

Sam clenches his jaw as Dean walks into the kitchen.

"You ready to go?"

"Uh, yeah, give me a second.”

Dean gives him a look, but nods and leaves the kitchen.

“Give me a call if you can think of anything else that might be relevant to the case,” Sam says, handing a card with his FBI phone number on it to you.

“Will do,” you say, winking at him.

****

“Alright, so, what do you got?” Dean asks.

“Well, apparently this isn’t the first time this has happened here. According to her, multiple women go missing every year, all women that have gotten too close to the husbands of these book club ladies.”

“So we’re looking at a coven full of snotty rich women?” Dean complains, shoulders sagging.

“Guess so.”

“Doesn’t seem so bad for you though, Sammy. Don’t think I didn’t see you laying down the nerdy charm in there,” he jokes.

“I wasn’t flirting,” Sam defends. “I was just getting information and she happened to be pretty and conversational.”

“Sure, Sammy, sure.”

****

Before heading back to the motel room, Sam and Dean decide to stop by a restaurant for dinner.

“Dude, don’t tell me you’re gonna get another salad. You need some real food.”

“Like what? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure what you eat wouldn’t be classified as ‘real food’ either.”

“It’d be closer to real food than the shit you eat. You eat rabbit food, I eat manly food,” Dean argues.

“‘Manly food?’ How is it manly? It’s just greasy and disgusting. You’re gonna get a clogged artery in like 3 months because of it.”

“Whatever, I’m here for a good time, not a long time.”

Sam shakes his head and goes back to looking at the menu.

Sam’s menu browsing is interrupted by a familiar voice. “Can I get you two started with a drink?” 

He looks up to find you looking somehow just as beautiful in a waitress uniform, looking at him with stars in your eyes and a grin gracing your features.

“Well, hello again, agent. If I didn’t know better I’d think you were stalking me,” you playfully say, earning a chuckle from Sam.

“Hey, again. And yeah, I’ll just have a water,” he says.

“Alright, but honestly, I’d get the strawberry lemonade. It’s way better.”

“If you say it’s good, then I’ll give it a try,” he says, smiling coyly.

“Good, so a strawberry lemonade for you,” you start, turning to Dean, “and for you?”

Dean orders his drink, and while they wait for you to return with their drinks, they look at the food on the menus, at least Sam does, until he realizes that Dean is looking at him over his menu with a smirk on his face.

“Dude, what’s up with you and the waitress?”

“Nothing,” Sam says hesitantly. “I mean, she’s pretty, but I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know? If a hot girl is hitting on you, take that as a blessing. How long has it been since you’ve gotten laid?” Dean reminds him, and for once Sam thinks he’s right, only a little bit, though. It had been a while since he even flirted with a girl, and it really couldn’t hurt, could it?

However, his train of thought is interrupted by your presence at the table again. You place each drink in front of them, being extra careful with Sam’s. 

“So, are we ready to order?” You ask.

The boys order, and you jot it down on your notepad before walking away from their table. This time, Sam takes the time to watch the way your hips swing from side to side every time you take a step. All he can think is that you have the most graceful walk he has ever seen in his life, which he then thinks is a little weird, but it’s just like him to notice these small, weird, and typically brushed over details of people.

When you back out of the kitchen doors, a plate in each hand, Sam is still staring. He can’t help thinking how beautiful you are, and how cute the smirk you always seem to have on your face is.

You place the plates down on the table. “Let me know if I can get you anything else.” You give Sam a smile that could just as easily be for both him and Dean, but he chooses to believe it was just for him.

Dean smirks. “She’s one hell of a beauty. If you aren’t gonna do anything with that blessing, I will.”

Sam gives him a dramatic look of disgust, but otherwise ignores his comment in favor of eating his sandwich. 

After they finish, Dean heads out to the car, insisting that Sam goes and talks to you. 

He walks up to the counter, money in hand. “Hey.”

You give him a grin. “Hey, there. Enjoy the food?”

“Yeah, it was really good,” he says, sliding you a twenty dollar bill. “That enough?”

You nod. “So, I get off in two hours. If you care, that is.”

He smirks. “What makes you think that?”

“Well, if my charms are still working, I would assume that you care. I’m quite pretty, after all.”

“And humble,” he jokes, earning an, in his definitely not biased opinion, adorable giggle from you. “But, yeah. You’re right, I do care.”

“Good, then meet me at the bar across the street. And don’t be late, otherwise I might find another man willing to fall under my spell.” You lean on the counter and give his hand a pat.

“Well, we wouldn’t want that to happen, so I’ll be there.” He smiles and heads out the door, leaving you leaning your head into your palm, grinning like a teenage girl that just made plans with her first boyfriend.

**** 

When Dean sees Sam walking out the door with a smug smile on his face, he can’t help but don a smile of his own. 

Sam opens the car door, greeted by Dean’s all-knowing grin. “So, you got a date tonight?”

“It’s not a date, we’re just going to the bar after she gets off work.” 

“Well, whatever, we finally got you a lady. Make the most of it, but don’t have too much fun. Still have to get rid of these witches.” Sam finds Dean’s advice very out of character, because typically he would tell him to have the time of his life, but he’s too elated to make much out of it.

“I know, man.”

Dean pats him on the shoulder. “Let’s head to the bar, get you a head start to your night of fun. I’ll look into this witch coven.”

“Dude, since when do you want to do the research?” Sam questions.

“Ever since you started getting chicks instead of me.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “You were hitting on a waitress this morning.”

“Can’t do anything with her number now, so it doesn’t count.”

“You could call it.”

“Nah, not in the area. Not worth driving all the way back for a waitress.” Sam raises an eyebrow but decides not to say anything.

**** 

In the bar, Sam and Dean are sitting at a small round table. Sam is drinking a bottle of beer while sitting across from Dean, who for once for once is not trying to get laid, but is actually researching the case at hand.

“Alright, so get this. These moms meet up at your new girlfriend’s house every Tuesday and Thursday and are there until, like, four in the morning.”

“Where are you getting this information?” Sam asks, using his years of enduring Dean’s teasing to skilfully avoid giving into Dean’s provocation.

“Some noise complaints that have been filed over the past few years.”

“So these are for sure our witches, then,” Sam observes.

“Seems like it,” Dean agrees.

Sam finishes his second beer of the night and grabs one of the files in front of Dean. 

“Alright, so there are four witches in this coven,” Sam reads from the file.

“Do you think the chick you’re meeting is also in it?” Dean asks.

Sam rests his chin on his palm, giving it some thought. He knew that some witches were born with their abilities, and since your mother was a witch, it was likely that you were born as one, but that didn’t necessarily mean that you were in on the killing, or that you even knew that you had powers. He hoped that you weren’t, but he thinks that he also wouldn’t mind it too much if you were. He would never admit it to Dean, but he thought that if you were a witch, it might be pretty cool.

“I don’t think so, she seemed really concerned about the killings and disappearances,” he defends.

“You’re just saying that because you’ve got the hots for her.”

Sam makes a face. “Yes, I like her, but I’m serious. I don’t think she is.”

“Alright.” Dean puts his hands up as if to say ‘Sorry, please don’t kill me now.’ 

Sam sees you walk in the door, heading straight for the bar. After taking a few more sips out of his new bottle of beer, he gets up out of his chair. Dean gives him a ‘go get ‘em tiger’ look, which he gracefully ignores in favor of sitting on the stool next to you.

“Hey there, stranger,” you say, batting your eyelashes at him.

“Hey,” he says giddily, causing you to come to the realization that he’s already at least a bit drunk. 

“So you’re a happy drunk,” you observe.

“Whaaat? I’m not drunk,” he argues.

You give him a knowing smile, but indulge him anyway. “Alright, fine. How’s the case going?”

“‘S good, we have suspects now,” he boasts.

“Yeah? I assume that’s all thanks to your hard work here,” you tease.

He gives you a toothy grin. “You know it.”

The bartender comes over and you order some fruity drink that Sam doesn’t catch the name of. When you get it, Sam asks to try it, which you oblige, of course.

“Wow, that’s good. I want one, too.”

“It is, but is that really a good idea? How many beers have you had already?” You ask, furrowing your eyebrows.

“Two, but I started on my third.”

“Oh. Well, I guess you can have some more of mine, but don’t drink too much. It’s pretty strong, and we wouldn’t want your partner over there to have to deal with you being too drunk,” you tease.

He frowns. “Who cares what he thinks? He’s bossy,” he groans. “And annoying,” he adds for safe measures.

You give him a comforting smile and a pat on his arm, causing you to realize just how muscular it is, along with the rest of his body. You somehow didn’t notice before, but now that you have, it’s all that’s on your mind.

“Sounds like I’ll have to take you off his hands for the night then, huh?” 

He notices that your hand is still on his arm, causing a light pink to dust his cheeks. “Sounds like a plan.”

“So, once you’re done with this case, how long until you leave?”

“It depends. Could be a week, could be the same day we finish the case. For you, though, I’m sure I can arrange staying around for a bit longer,” he suggests.

“That sounds nice,” you admit.

“Good, I’ll work it out then,” he states. “You look beautiful, sorry for not saying it earlier.”

“Well, thank you.” You grin, slightly shocked at how bluntly he says it, but you’re definitely not complaining. Looking over Sam’s outfit, you can’t help notice how good he looks in jeans and a flannel. The way the sleeves of his flannel tighten around his arms doesn’t go unnoticed by you. Now that you’ve seen how he looks in the basic combination, you don’t think you’ll ever be able to think another man looks good in it. “You don’t look half bad yourself. Casual is your look, agent. Not to mention that shirt is doing wonders for your arms,” you compliment, causing a dark blush to appear on his face for the second time tonight.

“Thanks,” he mumbles in embarrassment, clearly not expecting you to have flirted back, and if he did, he definitely didn’t expect you to flirt so blatantly. He’s flustered, and so, he decides to shift the conversation topic off of himself. “So, where do you go to college?”

“Last year I transferred to Stanford, but I went to an in-state college that was far enough away from here before.”

Sam raises his eyebrows, giving you a small smile. “I went to Stanford, too.”

“Really?” You ask.

“Yeah, I was studying to be a lawyer. Until my brother came to my apartment and told me he needed my help looking for our dad, at least” he admits.

“You didn’t finish school?”

“No, but it turned out to be a good thing,” he says, his voice sounding like he was trying to convince not only you, but himself as well. You raise an eyebrow, but in hopes of not upsetting the cute puppy-eyed boy you’d met only hours earlier, ultimately decide against saying anything to contradict his statement. Luckily, he doesn’t seem to notice your hesitance to accept his statement.

“I’m glad. Although, I’m sure you could still finish school if you ever wanted to. It wouldn’t hurt to have a back-up plan,” you suggest, laughing internally at the fact that being a Stanford educated lawyer would be his ‘back-up plan.’

“I guess. But I don’t think I could let Dean work all by himself.” The crestfallen expression he has on his face after imagining leaving Dean, paired with his puppy dog eyes is almost too much for you to handle. 

You put your hand on his arm, rubbing your thumb across the flannel he was wearing. “You’re a good partner, Sam. He’s lucky to have you.”

A perplexed look flashes across his face until he realizes that you meant they were FBI partners, and he quickly recovers by giving you a small smile. You find yourself unable to think about anything but his gorgeous eyes, sweet smile, and silky hair, causing you to get that warm fuzzy feeling that all your friends describe when talking about their boyfriends, and you feel yourself returning a smile without even trying. It felt almost like a reflex, and you realized that you were developing a crush on the tall, sweet, doe-eyed man. This thought is even further confirmed after Sam puts his large hand over yours, curling his fingers around your significantly smaller ones, causing your heart-rate to pick up.

You don’t even notice the blush appear on your face until you hear Sam’s teasing voice. “Now who’s the one blushing?”

“It’s just the lighting, don’t get all cocky,” you try to defend, to no avail, though, since Sam’s mischievous grin does not falter after hearing your defense.

“If you say so,” Sam says, doing his best not to let a doubtful expression cross his face.

“I do,” you firmly state. A small lull of silence overcomes the conversation, and you search through your brain to search for a new topic to discuss. “You said you have a brother? What’s his name?”

“Uh, about that. Dean is my brother.” Your eyebrows lift slightly.

“No way. You guys are brothers and work together? That’s pretty cool,” you observe.

“Yeah, sometimes. Other times he’s a real dick, though.”

“I bet. But he seems pretty nice for the most part.”

“He’s a good guy, he just thinks he has to protect everyone, especially me. He doesn’t realize I can do things on my own. I mean I was in college without him and I did just fine.”

You nod sympathetically, understanding how complex family relationships can be. From there, the conversation flowed smoothly and you felt like you could tell Sam anything without any judgment, leading you to ask, “Would you, uh, want to come over to my house for the night? My mom isn’t going to be home tonight.” As you say it, you feel like you’re in high school all over again, and you start to regret the words as soon as your lips stop moving.

Sam’s eyes widen and he stays quiet, further fueling your regret. For those brief few seconds, your mind races and you worry if you came off too strong or if he simply isn’t interested in you past a drunk conversation and flirting. Luckily, he realizes the look on your face and saves you from any further anxiety. 

“Sure, that sounds good.” Once again, the infamous smile graces his features, cheeks puffing up causing his eyes to crinkle and because not only is his face beautiful, of course his eyes have to be, too. You swear, even if no one else in the whole world agrees, his eyes are so beautiful in that moment that they glimmer.

You beam at him and slip off your stool, grabbing his hand and leading him off to the door. He looks back at Dean to find him already smirking at him. Dean gives him a wink, and for what is probably the millionth time in his life, Sam completely ignores him, focusing on the way you’re eagerly dragging him out of the place and to your car.

****

The next morning, Sam wakes up in a room that is far too nice to be the hotel that he and Dean were staying at, even though they always got the best room. He quickly remembers the events of last night and smiles. Although, his smile fades when he looks next to him to find you nowhere in sight. He rubs his eyes, looking around the room at the posters and decorations that let him peer into a tiny part of your life without worrying if he was overstepping any boundaries. 

He gets out from under the blanket and slips off the side of the bed, walking over to your desk that holds a curious collection of trinkets and a book full of pictures. He’s in the middle of flipping through the book when he hears the creaking of a door opening, and his reflexes have him whipping his head to see where the noise came from. You let out a little giggle when you find his face looking like a little kid that just got caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. He tilts his head as if asking what you were laughing at, but you just shrug, a cheeky grin still on your face.

“Whatcha doin’ there, Sam?” 

For a moment, Sam is at a loss of words. “Uh, I was just….” He trails off.

“Don’t worry, I’m not mad. Just wondering what you’re looking at.” Your words clearly ease his mind, as he picks up the open photobook and points at the picture he was looking at. You smile as you look at a highschool version of you with some of your friends at a festival. 

“It’s a cute picture. You dyed your hair, though. I almost didn’t realize you were in it at first.”

“Yeah, I figured since I was going to college I should switch it up a bit.”

You sit on the edge of the bed, watching as Sam continues to flip through the pages. You carefully watch his expression change as his eyes move around the pages looking at different moments of your life. He was glad to get even more of a glance into who you were. 

Eventually, he reaches the end of the book and closes it, setting it back down on its rightful place on your desk. He joins you on the bed, sitting an awkward distance away from you, causing you to let out a small chuckle.

“What?” He questions, his puppy-dog eyes in full effect again.

“You can come closer, y’know. I don’t bite,” you tease. He blushes, as even more memories of last night flood into his brain. You definitely bit, but apparently only during certain hours of the day.

He scoots closer to you until your shoulders are comfortably pressed together. You take advantage of the proximity and lean your head on his shoulder.

“So, any plans for today?” You ask him.

“Not really. Just stuff for the case. I should probably check my phone.” You nod, and Sam thinks that the divine beauty of the slight raise at the corners of your mouth is unrivaled by any other sight Sam has ever seen, and he has seen almost too much in his short life.

He reaches over to the table next to your bed, trying his best not to move away from you and disturb your peaceful state of simple existence. He turns on his phone, seeing a few texts from Dean with more details on the case. He turns his phone off and decides that it wouldn’t hurt to stay here with you for another hour. You’re surprised by the weight of his head resting on top of yours, but who are you to complain? 

****

Unfortunately, an hour can go by very fast when you’re, as they say, having fun. Watching Sam walk out of your house pulled on a part of your heart that you wish it hadn’t, knowing that Sam would soon be leaving your not so small town and you would more than likely never see him again. You don’t think you would be able to handle not seeing him again, even though the two of you have known each other for less than a mere day. With these thoughts swirling around in your brain, all you can do is give him a small wave when he turns around to look at you one last time before getting into his brother’s ‘67 Impala.

****

“Dude, tell me about your night. Was it the craziest sex you’ve ever had? Is she freaky? Waitresses always are, man.” Dean’s rambles fill Sam’s ears as soon as he closes the door to the old, black car.

“Really? You couldn’t even wait five seconds before you start with this?” Sam complains.

“You haven’t gotten laid in centuries, Sammy, excuse me if I want to know if my little brother had a good time.”

“Shut up.” 

As usual, Dean completely ignores Sam’s protests and continues asking graphic questions about the ‘hot witch waitress’ until they arrive at the house of one of the witches in the coven.

****

Dean knocks on the door of the white two-story house, and within seconds is met with the face of a standard looking middle-aged woman.

“Hello, ma’am, FBI,” Dean says, flashing his fake badge, actions in sync with that of his younger brother.

The woman’s eyes widen slightly, but she schools her face back into neutrality quite quickly. “Come on in.” She motions for them to step into the house.

Dean sits down on the large couch in the living room, leaving Sam to remain standing next to it. “Do you mind if I use your bathroom?” Sam asks.

“Of course, go right ahead. Up the stairs and two doors to the right.”

Sam gives her a grateful smile before he walks out of the living room and heads up the stairs. When he began his search, he had expected to find one hex bag, or maybe even zero, but what he hadn’t expected was three. He raised an eyebrow, assuming that all the others in the coven would have at least coordinated this better, but here he was, looking at three different hex bags.

He quickly grabs them before flushing the toilet to avoid suspicion or potential disgust on the woman’s part if she realized that he hadn’t flushed the toilet. 

Heading back down the stairs, he gives Dean a small nod to indicate his findings and to signal Dean to wrap up his investigation.

“You boys have a good day, good luck with your investigation,” the woman says, closing the door behind them as they walk down the stairs connected to the front porch.

“Dude, there were three hex bags in her bathroom,” Sam says, pulling the bags out of his pocket.

“I thought they only needed one? What’s the point of having more?” Dean inquired.

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s more powerful or something.”

Dean made a sound of acknowledgement but said nothing in return. Sam took it as a cue to continue talking.

“So, I was thinking we just wait until a night that they meet up and then ambush.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Dean agreed.

****

Back at the hotel room, Sam is researching more for the case, just to be safe, while Dean is out grabbing something for them to eat. Sam assumes that he’s gone back to the restaurant you work at so he can grab another glance at you.

Sam is deep into a passage on witchly powers when his phone rings, he assumes it’s Dean, but the small screen shows an unknown number. His eyebrows raise, but he answers the phone nonetheless. 

“Hello? Sam?” A familiar, but shaky voice asks from the phone.

He says your name as if it were a question, to which you quickly say, “Yes, um, sorry to be calling this late but I think there’s someone in my house.”

Sam’s jaw clenches, his whole face tensing up before quickly relaxing again as he prepares to defend the woman that he now found lingering in every crevice of his mind.

“I’ll be there in 5 minutes. Just lock your door and stay in your room, alright?” 

“Okay. Please stay on the phone with me, I’m really scared,” you admit.

“Yeah, yeah, you got it,” he says, rushing out the door of the hotel room before realizing that Dean was still out getting food. “Shit,” he breathed. However, now he could finally reap the benefits of his daily morning runs.

“What?” 

“Nothing, just a slight change of plans. Just stay calm.” His voice was slightly strained and now sounded more like a moan than actual words, and if you weren’t so damn scared you might have found it sexy.

****

About seven minutes and lots of heavy breaths from Sam’s end of the phone later, Sam was at the front door of your house, gun full of witch-killing bullets ready in one hand, and his small phone in the other. 

“I’m here, you’ll be good if I get off the phone?” He asks, fully ready to somehow manage to find a way to stay on the phone while fighting if you need him to.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Do what you need to do, please,” you say, but he hears the fear in your voice.

“I’ll be done and up there as soon as possible, alright? Don’t worry.”

He hears a small sound of acknowledgement from the other end of the phone before he finally ends the call and goes into the house. He heads straight for the door to the basement that, luckily, he had found when he made his journey to the bathroom the first time he was over at your house. He opens the door and grabs a second gun out of his pocket for safe measures, especially since Dean was nowhere to be found despite Sam’s multiple texts.

He slowly creeps down the stairs, doing his best not to let his weight cause the stairs to creek. Fortunately, he makes it down soundlessly, but is now stuck with the task of creeping through the abnormally large basement without getting cornered by witches.

It takes a few minutes before he finally hears the loud chanting start back up again, and while he knows that he’s probably free to walk as loudly as he wants to, he still keeps up the stealth.

The chanting slowly gets louder, and Sam steadies his arms to shoot both guns. As soon as he sees two figures in the door frame, he pulls the trigger on both, not wanting to risk the chances of them performing some spell on him before he gets a chance to get them first.

Unfortunately, he’d forgotten that there was still a third member of the coven, and as soon as he turns around, he’s met with the face of your mother, as well as a book harshly hitting his head and rendering him unconscious. 

The next thing he knows, he’s tied up in the same room that he shot the two witches.

“You’re not FBI, you’re hunters,” your mother says, disgust obvious in her voice.

“Like you’re any better. You kill innocent people,” Sam grunts, starting to discreetly rub the rope he was tied up with against the chair to cut it.

“Innocent? Oh, please, no one in this world is innocent, especially not you, and even more so since you’ve involved yourself with my daughter,” she spat.

Sam grimaces. “Oh, yes, I know all about that.” She smirks.

Sam is about to speak, but is interrupted by your voice calling out for him. As your voice grows closer and closer, Sam realizes his progress on the rope is not as fast as he hoped, and if he didn’t hurry up, you’d be in the room before he was free. 

However, to his dismay, you enter the room before he can free his arms, and all that he can think about is how awful it would be to watch you die, especially by the hands of your own mother. The nauseating thought is interrupted by a loud smashing sound that Sam immediately recognizes as a bat to the head. His head shoots up and he sees you, eyebrows furrowed with your eyes glazes over as you realize what you’ve done. 

He finally manages to get the rope holding his hands behind his back cut as you sink down onto your knees and start sobbing. His first reaction is to run over and hold you, asking if you’re okay, but he isn’t sure if that’s what you would want, and there’s no way in hell that he would want to upset you even more.

He settles for walking over to you and kneeling down with one hand on your back rubbing what he hopes are soothing circles on it.

“It’s gonna be okay, I promise,” he comforts. “It’ll get better. Just know you had to do this, alright?”

“I know, Sam, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I didn’t even think about it, I just saw you tied up, and that was my first reaction. Am I insane?”

“Hey, hey, don’t say that. It’s fine, you’re fine.”

Finally, you turn towards him and collapse into his arms, and though he’s surprised, he catches you and holds you closely and firmly to his chest. The hand that was once on your back is now on your head, comfortingly playing with your hair, and the other is wrapped around your waist as you sob into his shoulder.

****

Hours later, you’ve finally calmed down, and you and Sam are in your living room sitting on your couch, along with Dean, the other FBI agent that had arrived while you were still sobbing, much to your later embarrassment. However, Sam had reassured you that it wasn’t embarrassing, and Dean definitely wouldn’t find it so.

After his reassurance, you could find no trace of embarrassment still lingering in your mind. It was surprising that someone you’d only met a few days ago was able to not only understand you like that, but also manage to diminish your insecurities so easily. You found yourself thinking about how much you and Sam seem to have in common and how easy it is to talk to him. 

You lean your head on his shoulder, and out of the corner of your eye you see a small smile on his face. He wraps his arm around your shoulder and brings you closer to him.

“Oh, get a room,” Dean grumbles in annoyance, but Sam knows that he’s just faking it. He knows Dean too well to not realize that he really is happy for him.

****

When you wake up the next day you feel a warm presence next to you in your bed. You quickly recognize the presence as Sam, leading you to snuggle closer, resting your head on his chest.

“Good morning,” Sam says groggily, his voice breaking you out of the peaceful trance you were in.

“Good morning,” you reply.

Sam gives your arm a small squeeze before sitting up. You mirror his actions, ready to start a conversation, but are interrupted by the loud sound of his phone.

He gives you an apologetic look and grabs his phone to presumably read a text.

“It’s Dean. He has a lead on the case,” he states, to your annoyance.

“That’s good, I think. Would it be wrong for me to ask if I could come with?”

Sam’s eyebrows raise at your unexpected request. He stays quiet for a few seconds before replying, “I won’t say no, but I also don’t want you to get hurt. So, I have to be honest with you.”

You tilt your head, encouraging him to continue.

“My brother and I aren’t FBI, we’re hunters.”

You furrow your eyebrows. “What?” 

Sam swallows as if to prepare for the words about to leave his mouth.

“Monsters are real. Vampires, ghosts, all of it. My brother and I hunt them.” As the words are leaving his mouth, Sam is suddenly hit with a wave of regret. What if you don’t believe him? What if you think he’s crazy and tell him to leave?

You, on the other hand, were thinking about how happy you were that Sam was comfortable enough with you to tell you about his real life. In the future, Sam would probably laugh about how vast the difference of what was going on in each of your minds, but now, he was taking your silence as negative.

When you saw the worry on Sam’s face, you immediately realized that you’d been sitting in complete silence since he’d admitted the truth about him and his brother. 

“Really?” The one simple word brought Sam joy and relief like no other moment in his life.

“You actually believe me?” He asks in disbelief.

“Yeah, I mean what reason do I have not to? It does sound kind of insane, but I also bashed my mom’s head in with a bat yesterday, so…” You trail off, realizing that once again you’d been using humor as a coping mechanism instead of dealing with your problems.

Sam clears his throat, now feeling very awkward. “Right… About that, are you sure you want to come with? You’ve already been through a lot.”

“It would probably help to get my mind off of it, even if more traumatizing shit ends up happening, too.”

He pursed his lips, deep in thought. “Yeah, alright. If that’s what you want, I won’t stop you.”

You smile. “Yeah, it is.”

**** 

Half an hour later, you’re sitting in the back seat of the infamous black Impala with some old rock song that Dean picked playing.

“Sam, are you sure about bringing her?” Dean asks lowly, as if you couldn’t hear him from your spot right behind him. 

“Yes, Dean. It’s not like we’re leaving her to fend for her own while we go together,” he says exasperatedly.

“If you say so.”

You clear your throat, prompting Sam to turn around and give you an apologetic smile. You return the smile, but the annoyance you feel towards Dean does not dissipate. If anything, you feel it even more so after Sam apologized instead of him.

You decide to ignore it and stay quiet for the rest of the drive.

A few minutes and one rock song later, the Impala pulls into a driveway that you recognize as one of your mom’s friend’s house. You furrow your eyebrows.

“Why are we here?”

Dean clicks his tongue. “You didn’t tell her?”

“Well, Dean, I’m sorry that I didn’t want to overwhelm her,” he sasses.

“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think? You brought her on a damn hunt.”

The air in the car suddenly felt awkward and you felt as though you shouldn’t be listening to their conversation. 

“I’m just gonna get out and let you two finish your discussion,” you said quickly before opening the door and walking over to the porch of the house.

As you walked up the stairs, the front door opened, and the face of your old best friend from high school appeared in the doorway. 

She called your name, a big smile adorning her face.

“Lily, hey!” You said, feigning excitement to see the girl after three years.

“It’s been so long! Come inside. My mom is downstairs,” she exclaims, ushering you into the house and nearly slamming the door shut once you’ve entered her house. As soon as you enter the house, a chill runs down your spine and you can’t help but feel nervous about what’s about to happen.

****

You’d been in the house for a few minutes before Sam and Dean had even realized you hadn’t been sitting on the porch the whole time they’d been arguing, and when Sam looked over to see what you were doing, a wave of panic rushed through his whole body.

“Dean, she’s gone.”

“What the hell? See, this is why we shouldn’t have even brought her with us.”

“Dude, whatever, it doesn’t matter, we gotta go find her right now.”

Sam quickly opened the passenger door and rushed out of the car and through the front door.

He opens the door, quickly checking the living room. Nothing. He checks the kitchen and the dining room. Nothing and nothing. He checks all the rooms on the first floor and the second floor, then goes back to the first floor to check again, when he hears Dean calling out to him.

“Sam? Come here, I found a door to a basement or somethin’,” he calls out.

Sam follows the sound of his brother’s gruff voice and finds a door he doesn’t know how he missed. He’s usually thorough about searching, but he finds himself extremely on-edge this time. He thinks it might somehow, maybe, have something to do with his not-so-subtle crush on you, and maybe the thought that losing you would be one of the worst things that has happened to him even though he’s barely known you for five days.

He quickly pushes the thought to the back of his mind, at least for now, in favor of pushing ahead of Dean and heading down the stairs into the basement.

His mind is now absent of any “lovey-dovey” thoughts of you, but chock full of thoughts about how you could be dead right now. He never should have let you get out of the car and go inside without him. If you were dead, it would be all his fault, and he would never be able to escape the guilt of having another death on his conscience. 

However, with all of these thoughts, the thought that you could actually hold your own against the witches had somehow never crossed his mind. It definitely should have, though, because when he finally reaches you, you’re standing over two feminine figures that are lying still on the ground. 

He sees your chest rising and falling as the iron tight grip you have on the knife in your hand begins to falter. The knife clatters onto the floor as you look over to see Sam.

“Sam,” you pant, and he immediately rushes over to you and takes your tired figure into his arms. He immediately feels blood that he isn’t sure of the origins beginning to soak into his jacket, but he can’t bring himself to care about that right now. The only thing he cares about is your safety, and preserving that safety for as long as he possibly can from here on out.

“Are you okay?” He whispers next to your ear.

“No, Sam, I killed my mom and then my best friend from high school and her mom in the span of not even twenty-four hours. I feel horrible.”

“You had to, okay? They were killing people. Maybe that doesn’t help you feel better right now, but eventually it will. Don’t beat yourself up over it, or you’ll end up hating yourself for the rest of your life. This is how it is to be a hunter, and I understand if after now you never want to do it again,” he rambles, trying to somehow make you feel better, which he knows is nearly impossible right now, but he can’t stop himself from trying. To him, it almost feels like someone is taking control of his body and making him do everything in his power to help you.

He realizes very quickly, though, that it’s not a person taking control of his body, but an emotion: love. The realization is scary for him, to say the least, especially because of his track record with girlfriends dying, but he thinks that he would be okay with overcoming this fear if it means you would be his.

A few seconds later, Dean walks into the room and finds himself met with the sight of your shorter figure being held, in his opinion, disgustingly lovingly by his brother. He’s happy that his brother has found someone that seems like a good person from what he can tell.

Dean whistles, eyebrows raising in approval at the sight of the two witches’ bodies behind your back. “Damn, and you didn’t even need my help. You’re getting better, Sammy.”

Sam shakes his head. “I didn’t do this. She did,” he replies, turning around and giving Dean a smug look. Dean gives him a look of annoyance at being proven wrong when it comes to your ability to fight, but ultimately decides to give it a rest, for today at least. He could tell you were shaken up, and he felt that he could sympathize, only a bit, though.

When he realizes that you had taken out the two witches on your own, he couldn’t help but feel impressed, and he confidently feels that you and Sam are right for each other. It’s funny that it isn’t your loving personality or quirky teasing that tells him that you’re right for Sam, but instead the fact that you can hold your own in a battle. That really is a more valuable asset in their lives than any regular person, so Dean is glad that his brother has been lucky enough to find someone like that.

****

Later that day, you’re all standing outside your house that now feels very empty without your mother. You never realized how much of a presence she really had until now, and admittedly, it makes you sad to think about, no matter how much you disliked her.

Unfortunately, it’s about to get a whole lot emptier with Sam and Dean ready to head out to their next case. However, Dean’s voice shakes you out of your thoughts, and his words shock you even more.

“Kid, how would you feel about joining us for a few more hunts, see how you feel? Who knows, maybe you’ll become a permanent member of our group here.” 

Sam gives him a look of pure astonishment, but all he receives in return is a smug look and a little shrug.

“Well, I don’t know. I don’t want to be a burden to you guys with all the teaching me how to hunt and all that.”

“I don’t think we’d have to do too much teaching. You’re a natural,” Sam compliments, causing a deep blush to appear on your cheeks.

“Alright, Sammy. We’re gonna have to work on all that flirting,” Dean teases. “I’ll admit, I do agree, though. That was impressive. I probably couldn’t have done that on my first hunt,” he admits.

His unexpected words of praise make you smile, and your annoyance from earlier fades away. Dean could be a pain in the ass from what you’ve learned, but he could also be nice. You figured he was usually a pain in the ass, though, but you figured that you would be able to learn how to deal with it, or at least ignore it like Sam seems to be able to do.

“Alright. To be honest, it was kind of exhilarating, but also scary. I think it could be something I could learn to love, though.”

Sam gives you a warm smile, and gestures for you to go over there to give him a hug, which you excitedly accept, falling into his larger frame as his long arms wrap around you.

Dean grumbles. “Really? Again?”

All you and Sam do in response is laugh, much to Dean’s annoyance.

a/n: would yall be interested in this being a series or something ?? idk i feel like that would be fun to do

tags: @kozumesphone

[dovveri]

you can kiss a hundred boys in bars

synopsis: good luck, babe! - inspired fic (essentially sana left 6 years ago and you still can't stop thinking about her even though you're married to another man)

warnings: cheating, internalised homophobia, not chronological, implied sex, cursing

w/c: 6.4k

a/n: hi 😀 this one may not hit as many of the audiences but it was interesting to write. i zon't think i like it toooo much for how much time i spent on it (edit: the moots have made my day i do like this one a lot actually) but just one of those things i needed to get out before i was able to move on to the next thing :P weeeEEEEHHEEEE i love angst!!!!!!!

ok this one's going to be a bit different guys pls READ THIS or you'll be like what the fuck. purple text is the present. ty enjoy, that was it LOL.

▂▂⌇

you wake up with a migraine. it came not long after you married frank and it’s stayed ever since. you sit up on the bed, careful not to make too much movement or sound to wake your husband next to you. although that was pretty unlikely anyway considering how he slept.

you sigh lightly, holding your head in your hands trying to mitigate the damage.

your head starts drifting off, as it did on most nights these days. it seemed the only thing that ever worked to stop the pounding in your head was thinking about her.

▂▂⌇

funnily enough, sana was actually the reason you and frank had met.

it had happened when the both of you were at a bar after class celebrating the end of exams. sana being sana had made a whole group of friends 10 minutes upon entering the establishment. you were sitting back watching her challenge someone to down the most shots in one minute. you would have stopped her on another day but after the hell week she's been through with her finals, you figured she deserved it. and you'd be there to take her home afterwards anyway.

she's whooping and jumping around, turning back to you with a grin when she wins. the poor loser skulking away back to his friends.

frank goes up to her then. introducing himself with that kind voice of his, just making sure she had someone to go home with and look after her.

and sana adored the attention. she's flirting with that charm of hers that no one could resist. but strangely enough, frank resisted. he was a gentleman, not wanting to pursue anything while sana was intoxicated, instead, he asked who could look after her, and sana points to you.

▂▂⌇

you're not getting back to sleep. instead you silently step out of bed, grabbing your phone and the hidden pack of cigarettes you kept in the second drawer of your bedside cupboard.

you step outside onto the balcony, breathing in the cool night air, shivering a little as you wrap the blanket you left on the balcony chair around you.

you click the lighter on, the small flame illuminating the darkness of the night, the only other light source aside from the moon. you're thinking if sana's somewhere she can see the moon right now while you put the lighter to the end of your cigarette. is it night for her? was she asleep? did she ever think about you?

you bring the stick to your mouth, inhaling, feeling the roughness of the nicotine hit your lungs, and exhaling softly, watching the wisps of smoke dissolve into the night sky.

sana hated when you smoked. frank didn't like it too much either, but he was never able to stop you.

▂▂⌇

"do you have to do that here?" sana's frowning when you release a puff of smoke into the air.

"sorry. stressed." you mumble in response, cig still stuck between your lips.

"you know i can help with that. just not when you taste like an ashtray." sana's still staring at the cancer stick you're sucking on with contempt, she never hated anything but if you had to place your money on something it'd be your bad habit.

you're smiling sheepishly, taking the cigarette out of your mouth and smooshing the end until it's not burning anymore.

the frown on her face is gone immediately, she's charmed you listen to her so easily. and she sticks to her word, stepping closer and leaning in.

your lips meet lazily, she's got a hand on your cheek, the other at your waist. you're wrapping your arms around her hips, holding her against you as your lips slot against each other.

sana was an attractive woman. there was no doubt about that. the two of you had met during high school. she had caught you sneaking off for a smoke during P.E. and had somehow convinced you to go and get your nails done with her instead. ever since then you two had been inseperable.

it was after you broke up with your first boyfriend in college that you started sleeping together. you remember he had decided to call it off because he was going all mormon and was ashamed of having had sex already, calling you a 'sex-addicted whore who was sent by the devil to tempt him into the flames of hell'. sana despised that he made you feel unwanted, and even more that he blamed you for the break up. she needed you to know just how valued you were, just how wanted you were, and in her drunk dazed mind that meant worshipping you until you came crying under her. and in your drunk dazed, heartbroken, self-pitying mind, you let her.

when it happened again, and again, and again, and then not under any alcoholic influence, the both of you decided to continue seeking each other out for sexual relief whenever you were stressed, or in any sort of mood that called for sex. you stopped every time one of you started a new relationship, but you always found your way back into each other's arms eventually.

▂▂⌇

you curse lightly when you reach the end of your cigarette.

picking out another one, you’re repeating your actions, lighting it up, bringing it between your lips, inhaling, feeling it fill your lungs, and then pushing it back out.

there hasn’t been a single day that’s gone by where you hadn’t thought about sana. frank didn’t get it at first. he asked you why you couldn’t just call her, you two were the best of friends, surely it wouldn’t be that difficult to reconnect?

he didn’t know you slept with sana on the night of you and frank’s wedding. doesn’t know the countless times you’ve slept with her before that. doesn’t know sana woke up earlier than you the next day, disappearing into the early morning, no note, no text, nothing. you were too ashamed to try and contact her for weeks after that, it wasn’t until you came back from your honeymoon that you realised you were knocking on an empty door when you tried to find her at her apartment. it was cleaned out, no furniture, no remnants of her, nothing to prove she even existed. you had called her over and over, tears of desperation spilling over, holding back choked sobs that only grew stronger with each voicemail message.

it wasn't until sana's old landlord holding a 'for lease' sign in his hand comes and kicks you out that you finally realise you'd lost her.

after that, your relationship with frank started to deteriorate. what did you expect though? was it sana's fault? if sana hadn't left would you have lived happily ever after, the three of you together?

it took a long time to realise the answer to that was no. you spent years blaming sana for leaving, and when you finally came to the terms that you were the one who drove her away, it was too much to bear.

▂▂⌇

"y/n!"

you smile at the sound of sana calling you in the corridor, turning to meet her hug as she crashes into you.

she starts talking your ear off and you nod along enthusiastically, but suddenly she stops, looks down to your hand, intertwined with someone else's.

"oh. who's this y/n?"

you look over at your newest boyfriend in surprise, almost forgetting he was holding your hand and standing next to you. you tended to forget a lot of things when sana was around.

"oh this is danny. we met at that bar i told you about last week remember?"

"hmm..." she's looking up at him in scrutiny, eyes squinted and eyebrows furrowed. you can feel danny's palms start to sweat under her gaze.

"one week huh? not bad, let's see how long you last, if you go longer than a month then i'll introduce myself to you." sana says then.

"sana!" you're hitting her lightly, flabbergasted at her insinuation.

"what? your last one was like 3 days. you just keep breaking these guys' hearts y/n." she places a hand over her heart dramatically.

danny's tightening his grip around your hand, speaking up, "excuse me, i don’t appreciate you wishing doom on our relationship even before its started. and i wouldn’t want to be introduced to a slut who’s never had a real relationship before anyway.”

sana’s speechless for a second but her face morphs into a scowl quickly after, “okay danny,” spitting out his name, “first rule of being a decent boyfriend? don���t talk shit about your girlfriend’s best friends. let’s see you last another hour after that comment.” she turns to you, raising an eyebrow, “you gonna let him off with that y/n?”

you’re stuck, and danny’s looking at you expectantly.

“sana… that comment was a little uncalled for y’know… you did kinda start this…”

danny’s smirking, looking smugly back towards sana.

“what?! are you serious right now y/n? y’know what? i don’t care. your life and whatever. see you later.” she’s stomping off, your heart sinking as you watch her.

“c’mon babe, forget her. let’s go get sushi.” danny doesn’t wait for a response before he’s pulling you in the other direction.

▂▂⌇

when you wake up again the next day, frank’s gone.

you stumble to your feet, clumsily making your way to the bathroom.

it’s almost late afternoon already. you’re lucky you didn’t have work today.

sana always used to scold you if you woke up past noon. she said you'd waste the whole day sleeping when you could have been spending it with her.

these days the second option wasn't exactly viable.

you cringe a little when you catch sight of yourself in the mirror. unkempt hair, dark circles under your eyes, visible signs of ageing. you'd bet sana still looked as radiant as she was all those years ago.

your phone starts buzzing when you turn on your electric toothbrush. it couldn't be anyone else other than frank. you didn't really talk to anyone else anyway. after sana left, you became a social recluse, and a lot of your friends were technically sana's friends so without that mutual connection anymore, you drifted from them very quickly.

“hello?”

“hey y/n, is my white button-up back from the dry cleaners yet? i need it tonight for this work event.”

“… no you didn’t tell me to pick anything up.”

“what? i left a note for you on the fridge did you not see it?”

“i just woke up frank.”

“it’s 2pm.”

“yeah.”

you can hear him sigh over the phone, “alright it’s fine i’ll pick it up after work.” he hangs up abruptly after he says that.

no goodbye, no i love you, he doesn’t call you by any pet names anymore either, just y/n. well it’s not like you did any of those things for him so you suppose it’s fair. he did do a lot of those things when you were dating and early in your marriage but eventually, when you stopped responding and got more and more tired of being with him, he stopped trying as well. you can’t even remember the last time you were intimate together.

frank had suggested the both of you try out marriage counselling but you were strongly against the idea. you didn’t feel particularly excited about disclosing everything that went on with sana with frank let alone with a complete stranger. you remember that week you fought about it and you ran away and didn’t come back until a month later. frank only tried to call you once during that time.

▂▂⌇

you were standing in front of an apartment door in japan.

you weren’t really thinking when you stood at the front desk of the airport, demanding a ticket for the next flight to osaka with only a small backpack and some essentials you were able to grab after your fight with frank.

it wasn’t until you were physically in the plane that you realised you didn’t actually know anyone but sana there. and you had made that unconscious decision because being with frank was simply too… nothing, and being with sana was… everything. it had been over 6 years since you had seen her last, when she left you that quiet night in may.

though it seems fate was on your side this time. sana’s cousin just happened to be working at the airport the night you arrived, when she recognised you, she was waving excitedly, ushering you over.

“y/n right? oh my goodness i haven’t seen you in so long! not since that time sana brought you here 7 years ago right?” her accent is a little thick but you’re grateful she can speak korean regardless, you could only understand very basic japanese picked up from sana.

you’re nervously rubbing the back of your neck, “ahaha yeah… do you actually happen to have sana’s address?”

she frowns a little, “she didn’t give it to you when she found out you were coming?”

it seems like sana hasn’t told many people about your relationship with her either.

“u-um ahaha no she must have forgotten. you know how she gets… too excited she forgets the important little details.”

the cousin laughs a little in response, agreeing and quickly typing in sana’s address on your phone. internally you’re thanking all the gods and deities you know of for this stroke of luck or you’d really be stranded in osaka with no knowledge of the language and nowhere to stay.

“i have to get back to work but say hi to sana for me! we haven’t seen her much since she came back a few years ago, she’s been really busy with work i think.”

you nod, heart pounding at the tidbits of information you’re getting about sana. anything to fill in the 6 year gap you’ve been apart.

you wave goodbye, thanking her again and then you’re hailing down a taxi and showing the driver the destination on your phone.

so now you’re standing in front of her apartment door, hands sweaty and nervous, just praying she wouldn’t kick you out or worse.

you’ve been standing here stupidly, deliberating when, how, if you should even knock. when there’s a slight commotion to your left, the sound of a bag of groceries dropping and a light gasp.

“y/n?”

it’s very cinematic when you turn, sana coming into view for the first time in so long is like finding water in a desert. you’re drinking her in hungrily, her darker hair, smile lines, perfect nose, she looks just as beautiful as you remember.

“sana…” you’re voice is hoarse with emotion.

she’s taking slow steps towards you after picking up her groceries. one… two…

“what are you doing here?”

“i-i- u-um i-“

“how did you get my address?”

“u-um i saw y-your cousin at the airport and she recognised me and i- i may have asked her for your address... i'm sorry! i would have called or like let you know but... y'know... i-i couldn't really do that..."

she considers you for a little bit, looking you up and down, her face stoic.

"...did you come here for something then?"

"i- um- well not really it was k-kinda an impulse decision. u-um frank and i fought and i just- i don't know i went to the airport and i found myself here i guess..."

you notice how her hand tightens at the mention of frank's name, the slight sound of the crinkling of her grocery bag.

"and what did you want me to do about that?" she's pushing past you now, taking out her keys and starting to unlock her door. you begin to panic, scrambling for words.

"i- sana please! i- i'm sorry! i'm sorry okay?"

the jingling of her keys stops, but she doesn't look back at you.

"what are you sorry for? i'm the one who left remember?" her voice is bitter and a little shaky, you realise she's not facing you because she's trying not to cry. you ache to hold her.

"i… i’m the reason you left though. right? it took me a long time to realise but i’m sorry i wasn’t able to be true to myself and i’m sorry you were a casualty to that. i missed you sana…." your voice is quiet, you feel your own tears welling up in your eyes.

“… what weren’t you true to yourself about?”

you take a big inhale, breath shaky when you let it back out. “that i love you.” your voice is tiny, you just confessed your love for the woman you’ve spent most of your life with, the woman that’s occupied your mind every second of every minute since she’s entered your life. the woman you were too scared to admit you loved, who waited for you to do exactly that only for you to enter a loveless marriage with someone else. you can only imagine the pain you’ve put her through. it would be nothing compared to the last 6 years without her. and the last 6 years without sana were undoubtedly the worst of your life.

sana’s sniffling now, unable to hold back her cries.

you inch forward and tentatively place a hand on her shoulder. when she doesn’t move it, you shift closer again to wrap your arms around her loosely.

suddenly sana’s turning and burrowing her face in your neck, you feel her wet tears stain your skin, but also your own start to run down your face. you're surrounded with sana sana sana, her smell, her sounds, the feel of her against you when you tighten your arms around her. you missed this so fucking much. you missed her. and for the first time in 6 years, you finally felt like you were home again.

▂▂⌇

after you've finished your morning routine, you lazily trudge into the kitchen, discarding the small note frank had told you about, and pouring yourself a bowl of cereal.

you sigh into the empty house. frank wanted kids of course, that's why you bought such a large house in the first place. he had dreamt of the whole white-picket fence family and you were excited to share that with him and sana. she had helped you design the place, decorate it when you first moved in, she was meant to move across the street and you were going to grow old together and watch as your kids played around and became the best of friends, just like the two of you were.

now though? you hated this house. it just felt so much more empty. you and frank had tried for kids, although that only really drove you further apart. sex just became more of a chore than something you enjoyed, and when people know you're trying to get pregnant? suddenly everyone has their 2 cents on what you should eat, what types of exercise you should do, the latest superfood that was meant to make you more fertile. everyone seemed to have more control over your own relationship, over your own body than you did.

eventually, the small amounts of love you and frank had for each other, fizzled out. and you decided you didn't want to raise a child in a loveless marriage, that wouldn't be fair to them. frank, even with his endless optimism and kind soul, agreed.

▂▂⌇

that night in japan, for the first time in six years since you saw sana, you were able to kiss her again, to feel her bare skin against yours, to taste her as she writhed and cried out your name above you.

you woke up before her the next day, sun sluggishly making its way past the horizon. you watched as her breaths came in and out, soft, her expression at peace, not clouded with anger or sadness at you. you traced the lines of her face, recollecting every single hair, every mole, every perfection and imperfection on her, so she'd always be with you in your memory.

she stirred after a while, blinking softly and you wait for her to come to, fingers tracing soft lines over her side.

you feel her freeze under you, breathing picking up, just barely noticeable but you were sharing the same airspace. her eyes meet yours for the first time that morning and you're committing the brown irises to memory now as well.

"you didn't leave." her voice is laced with morning fatigue.

you only hum in response, continuing to trace random shapes into her skin.

"why?"

you take a moment to think about your answer. years ago, you would've been terrified with the idea that someone would've found out about the two of you. that someone would know your dirty little secret. and that secret was that you were in love with your best friend. it was different for sana. sana was flamboyant, and proud, and happy. it wouldn't matter who sana liked because that didn't take away from her personality. she was still valuable as a person. you weren't like that though. you were always just sana's best friend or danny's girlfriend or frank's girlfriend or whoever else you dated at the time. the moment you deviated from that, a new label would be stuck on you, and people would pity sana, talk about how she could do so much better, how you were a witch who lured sana in. so you were selfish. you took from sana, and you never gave back. because sana was perfect in your mind, and she didn't need anything else.

"i'm sorry. there's a lot to be sorry for and a lot i need to make up to you. but at the core of it all, i love you sana. these six years without you have been hell. and i'm sorry it took that long for me to realise this, but i love you, not frank, not anyone else, just you."

you feel your eyes begin to tear up, heavy with emotions, sana's mirroring you, her bottom lip slightly quivering.

"what happened with frank?" her voice is a little shaky.

"we fought. i didn't want to deal with him anymore, my feet took me to the airport, and i ended up here."

sana sighs then, turning away from you and lying on her back. "so you're still together?"

"well... i- no but-"

"how is this time any different then y/n?"

"i- i- it's over, me and him. seeing you again has affirmed that for me. there hasn't been love between frank and i for a long time. i never loved him the way i love you. i'm ending things as soon as i get back. i promise sana. please- please believe me." you're scrambling a little, you couldn't afford to lose sana again. not after you had just gotten her back.

you can see tears running down the side of her face. you hate yourself for making her cry. that seems to be all you ever made her do.

"okay."

"okay?"

she turns to you again, wiping at her eyes, "okay. i really shouldn't but i love you too much and i've missed you too much to say no."

"really?" your perking up, disbelief clear.

"you keep asking me that and i'll change my mind." she teases, smiling for the first time.

you're overjoyed. rolling onto her and sweeping her up in a kiss, hoping your actions convey your feelings for her better than your words do. she's laughing into you and god have you missed that sound. you attack her sides immediately, almost desperate to hear it again, to make her feel something other than the sadness you've caused her. you make a promise to yourself in that moment, that you'd never, never make sana cry again.

it took you only a month to break that promise.

▂▂⌇

"hi, frank's wife right?"

you resist the very strong urge to roll your eyes, instead nodding politely and listening as the woman who approached you launches into a conversation about her husband and how he and frank got along at work and really you couldn't care less.

you were at the work event frank had mentioned in the morning. he did end up picking up his own dry cleaning and you saw him briefly at the event when you first showed up, only saying a quick hello and kissing your cheek before he was off again mingling and entertaining guests.

you had intended on just sticking to the bar and making use of the free-flow alcohol but now this woman was talking to you about her kids, and whatever else and you really just want to throw your drink in her face and yell at her about how to read a room.

you spot frank in the corner of your eye, surrounded by a group of women. you knew he had slept with other people ever since you stopped accepting his advances and affection. you're honestly surprised he hasn't asked for a divorce yet.

but frank was kinder than you. you were still his friend before you were his wife. he still cared about you and didn't want you to be left alone. you couldn't seem to convince him you were fine alone. you learnt to be fine when sana left. although lately, even he seemed to see you less as a friend and more and more, just as his wife.

▂▂⌇

"i still can't believe that time you thought danny was a good choice for you. and you defended him too!" sana was laughing, slapping your arm playfully.

you whine in response, "i told you i was sorry for that alright!!"

she's still laughing when frank comes back to the two of you, looking at you inquisitively and gesturing vaguely towards sana. you shrug, helping him set the food he had ordered for the three of you on the table.

"what's funny sana?" he asks, sliding into the booth with you and picking up a burger.

sana's waving a chip around now, pointing at you, "just talking about y/n's shitty taste in men."

frank fakes shock, looking at you with an exaggerated look of hurt, "me?"

you laugh, hitting him lightly, "not you dummy."

"yeah you're one of the good ones franky. probably the only good one out there."

"aww thanks sana."

sana grins, digging into her food.

you smile at the two of them. your two favourite people in the world. when you first met frank, you were skeptical of him. you were sure he was only trying to be friends with you to get with sana. so imagine your surprise when he had actually been plotting with sana behind your back to ask you out. you had said yes of course, he was a sweet guy, attractive too, and most importantly, sana liked him.

you ended up hitting it off, and the three of you were almost inseparable after that.

it wasn't until about 7 months into your relationship that sana started distancing herself. she would say she was busy, turn down more offers to go out, start hanging around a new group of people.

you heard from frank later that they had some sort of disagreement, which was why sana had started avoiding you. you were hurt by this though, because sana was still your friend. she was yours before you were frank's, and even when you were frank's you were still hers. didn't she know that? she had to.

you intended for her to know that when you cornered her, a late afternoon on a friday when the three of you used to go out for ice-cream as a reward for the week's end, but she had been staying behind to study or always had something else on instead.

"why are you avoiding me?"

sana's eyes are everywhere, her movements skittish as she tries to look for an escape before giving up and huffing. "i don't know what you're talking about."

"yes you do."

"no i don't."

"stop this sana. frank told me the two of you fought. if you don't want to be around him fine. that's your choice. but that doesn't mean you get to avoid me too."

she looks at you then, eyes fiery, "is that what he told you?"

you nod, "i don't understand sana. i don't care that you fought. i can seperate us and my relationship with frank. you're still my best friend."

"we fought because he told me he felt like i was stealing you from him."

"what?"

"yeah. he said he never got to spend any time with you. i was always there. he felt like he was the one who was third-wheeling our relationship."

the words third-wheel and our relationship swim around in your mind, "w-what? that's impossible!"

"is it really though y/n?" sana's voice is soft now.

"what do you mean?"

"i mean, is it really impossible for you to see us that way? frank obviously did, and he felt threatened by that."

"w-what- sana what are you talking about?"

she sighs a little in frustration, and then suddenly she's yanking you forward by the collar and planting her lips against yours. you react automatically, kissing her back, hands immediately going to her waist as you revel in the feeling of her soft lips against yours. it was always so different kissing sana compared to all the other guys you've been with. you chalked it up to the fact that sana took care of her skin, her lips, the way she smelled, all of that made kissing her that much sweeter.

but then you remember frank and you're pulling away, breaths heavier than they were mere seconds ago. "what the fuck sana?!" you're whipping your head around, looking to see if anyone had seen the two of you. it seemed to be clear.

sana's chuckling lowly, wiping at her lips, face downcast.

"what were you thinking?! i'm with frank! you set me up with frank!"

her eyes meet yours again, and you're taken back by the glassy look on her face. she's whispering, "i know. i know and i hate myself for it. i thought- i thought if- i thought i could get over this if i saw you happy with someone else. and then you were! and i just felt worse y/n. and then frank could tell and that was the last straw i guess. i needed to be away, away from you so i could get make these stupid feelings go away. i'm sorry y/n i'm so so sorry."

you're dumbfounded, staring at her blankly when she starts sobbing, hands coming to wipe at tears falling faster than she could catch them.

you don't understand what this means, what you felt, all you knew in that moment was sana was crying. the person you cared about most in the world was crying and you were the reason for it. so you do the one thing to make her stop. you tilt her chin up, heart breaking at the sniffles and the watery eyes, and you press your lips against hers again.

you end up where you've ended up so many times. legs entangled, sweaty bodies on sheets, heavy breathing, and minds lost.

▂▂⌇

you couldn't stand being inside anymore. it was suffocating.

you breathe out smoke as you exhale, the cigarette end still burning.

you watch as someone makes their way outside, shuffling around a little in their pockets and cursing when they realise they don't have a lighter.

the person looks towards you and you hold out yours. you help them light the end of their cigarette and nod when they mutter their thanks, inhaling the smoke into their lungs and standing awkwardly to the side.

it's a few minutes here in the cold, and you're almost finished your cigarette, about to throw it away when the stranger speaks up.

"do i know you from somewhere?"

you pause, looking back, you don't think you recognise this person. "you must have me confused for someone else, i'm sorry."

"wait... no you're sana's best friend right!?"

you drop the cigarette in your hand in shock. it had been a long time since someone had said that name out loud. she only ever lived in your head, it was hard to believe she was someone to other people too.

"right yes of course i remember now! i'm momo i was sana's roommate in college. although you probably don't remember i think we only really met like once. sana was always with you around campus and posted you a lot though so i remember you."

you vaguely recall the woman as she chatters away excitedly.

"right... momo... it's nice to meet you. i'm y/n."

momo grins, "have you spoken to sana lately? i don't think i saw you at the wedding, although i may have just been drunk." she chuckles a little at herself, not realising the way your face drops.

"wedding?"

momo looks at you a little in confusion, "yeah. last month? sana got married in sapporo."

your head is spinning with the new information. sana was married?

“woah you feeling okay?” momo’s reaching out for your shoulder, steadying you. you didn’t even realise you had lost your balance.

“i-i- yeah sorry.”

“you sure? are you here with anyone? anyone i can call?”

“no. it’s okay, thank you though.”

“yeah no problem.”

she’s shuffling back again, sucking on her cigarette.

“sana and i haven’t spoken in years. i was just a little surprised is all.” you speak up when you feel a little steadier on your feet.

“oh shit! i’m so sorry y/n i had no idea!”

“it’s okay, it seems no one really does.” you laugh a little bitterly.

momo doesn’t know how to respond to this, flicking her eyes between you and the door.

“it’s fine though. i’m happy for her.” the words taste vile on your tongue. is this what sana felt when she watched you walk down the aisle on your wedding day?

momo softens a little, “she is happy.” she offers you a kind smile, tapping out her cigarette and mumbling a quick thanks before heading back inside.

once you're sure she's gone you let yourself break down. sobs wrack your body as you hold your hands over your mouth trying to quiet them. you can barely see through the tears streaming out of your eyes. this was it. you'd finally lost her. you couldn't cling to the delusion that somewhere out there, some of her still belonged to you, some of her happiness, her memories, her love. you'd lost all of that now.

▂▂⌇

"what was that y/n?"

"what?"

"don't fuck with me right now. that was frank wasn't it? on the phone just then?"

you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose, "what do you want me to say sana?"

"that you're keeping your promise. that you're going to return to him, break up with him, and then you're going to come back here to me. and then we can finally start our lives together."

"it's not that easy sana."

she explodes, "what do you mean?! it is that easy y/n! you told me when you came here that you and frank were over. have been for years. and now you can't tell me that same thing?"

"i don't- no sana-"

"what? what y/n? what’s your excuse now? do you have to make sure your job is secure? after you've spent a whole fucking month here you expect me to think you still care about that? do you have a child with him? is that it? is he sick? what other possible excuse is there for 'it's not that easy sana'?!"

"you don't get it! you can't say that to me sana!"

"what?! what don't i get?! tell me y/n, let's sort this shit out right fucking now. tell me why you can't be with me."

"it's not- that's just the way i am sana! i can't-"

"you told me you loved me. was that a lie then?" her eyes are brimming with tears, anger evident and your heart breaks again. you promised, you promised her and you promised yourself that this wouldn't happen again.

you're quick to step in again, trying to stop her from crying the one way you know how, brushing her cheeks with your thumbs and kissing her.

she doesn't let you get away with it this time though. she rips away from you, placing a hand on your chest and pushing you back lightly, keeping you literally at arm's length.

"don't do that." she's chuckling, her laughs mixed in with quiet sobs, "don't think you can just kiss away your problems. that's not how real life works y/n."

"please sana, please just-"

"what? you want me to be okay being your secret again? you want to be able to go around in public with frank only to come home to me? you can't have both y/n! i'm not going to do that again for you!"

you’re both crying now, standing across from each other in sana’s apartment, a place that’s felt more like home to you in a month than your place with frank has felt for you in six years.

your voice comes out in a hoarse whisper when you speak up, “i can’t- i can’t feel like this sana.”

sana’s wiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater. then she’s turning on her heel and heading into the bedroom.

you follow her, you’d follow her anywhere, but your heart sinks when you realise she’s going around the room picking up your belongings and shoving them into your bag.

“w-wait s-sana, what- what are you doing? stop please-“

you’re almost begging, scrambling after her trying to pull her back but she’s stubborn, she’s able to fill the bag within a minute and then she’s pushing it into you, and out the door.

“please! sana please i can’t lose you again don’t do this please- you’re my best friend sana.”

she’s managed to successfully push you out the front door now, still crying. “but you’re not mine y/n. you were never my best friend. you were always the love of my life. and you can’t be that for me anymore. so leave. please. don’t try and find me again.”

“n-no sana please d-don’t-“

“you’d have to stop the world just to stop what you feel for me y/n. but you don’t realise that. and i’m sick of loving someone who can’t give me all of that love back.”

and then she’s slamming her door shut in your face, the both of you sobbing on opposite sides of the door, hearts shattered a second time, and later, when it happens a third time, it’s only the sound of yours breaking.

[flower-boi16]

Forgot to add, but Stolas basically guilt tripped him into doing it.

"The one who wants me is my first ever friend..."

Blitz was perfectly willing to just leave Stolas there tied up, but instead gave him pity sex.

Yeah sure...Blitz was the one to make it all about sex. No Stolas....no....that was ALL YOU! The only thing Blitz did was do a little bit of flirting and steal the book, he didn't make it about sex. From beginning to end, that was all you.

People like to defend this kind of shit with "Oh it's intentional because it's meant to show Stolas lacking self-awarness!", which is very funny because 1. You are actively acknoweledging that Stolas' perspective here is invalid and Blitz's is which goes against the whole idea that both sides are suppoused to be in the wrong and 2. The show is not calling this shit out and every time Stolas says something like this (The final scene in Full Moon and the begining of Apology Tour) it's never called out nor is it ever frammed as that, and in Apology Tour specifically it is very obvious that we are specifically suppoused to take Stolas' side here and see Blitz as purely in the wrong.

I also do need to acknowledge that there are people who think that Blitz's feelings are portayed as valid by the narrative. They are not. The final scene in Full Moon and the begining of Apology Tour have Blitz rant about Stolas being a prince and considering that Oops established that this is a bias Blitz has towards Stolas it is very clear that these scenes are intended to be read as Blitz being blinded by his biases against Stolas due to Stolas being a prince, and he's too consumed in his biases to see that Stolas has real feelings for him. That is how these scenes are being frammed and clearly how they are suppoused to be read.

So no, the show doesn't see Blitz's perspective as valid. There is that rant in the begining of AT where Blitzo awkardly spells out his self-hatred keeping him from believing that a prince could possibily love him but the rest of the episode frames Stolas as someone hurt by Blitzo's actions and Blitzo as an asshole who hurts others. So his self-loathing isn't really something that the episode really wants you to sympathize with, only as another reason for why Blitz struggles to see that Stolas loves him.

Blitzo isn't a character that the show wants you sympathize with in this situation; the point of the episode is Blitz realizing that he isn't a good person and he needs to change. That's not a set up for a sympathetic character.

The show is directly outlining people information like this yet people still make bullshit excuses for Viv's writting based on some tweets. Blitz's perspective is never treated as valid by the narrative at all, sure, it acknowledges that Stolas was wrong for making this deal in the first place, but that gets rendered moot because that's not the reason for why Blitz hates Stolas; Blitz hates Stolas because of a bias he had against royals that completely came out of nowhere in season 2 solely so the show could make him purely look like an asshole consumed by his biases.

The narrative doesn't see Stolas SAing Blitz as the reason he hates Stolas, rather it sees Blitz's bias being a reason for that. It doesn't actually look at Blitz's perspective and how Stolas' actions may have affected him, hell it shows that it doesn't even affect him at all!

It's another instance of the show demonizing the people who Stolas has hurt so it could make them look unreasonable and further woobify Stolas. It's made even worse with the implication in Apology Tour of Blitz gaining feelings for Stolas and since Blitz really wanted to fuck Stolas it's not unreasonable to assume that the show may go in the route of "Blitz liked being SA'd by Stolas but he was just too comsumed by his biases to realize it!" because then you are fully painting Blitz as an biased asshole and any argument that the show understands his perspective gets thrown out the window.

Stolas' feelings are treated as valid by the narrative, how hurt he feels that Blitzy doesn't love him, that Blitzy doesn't see that Stolas loves him back, that Blitzy is "making him uncomfortable". Meanwhile, the narrative purely treats Blitz's feelings about Stolas as completely invalid, not using Stolas SAing him as an reason for Blitz hating him but rather him being too comsumed by his own biases.

There's a strong inbalance here that makes the argument that the show wants us to see them both as in the wrong completely fall apart. Blitzo is treated as the problem by the narrative and the fandom, that he's hurting poor Stolas' feelings with how he's treating the bird boy. And here's the thing; Blitzo having this bias came out of nowhere. There as no hint of this in season 1 or the first five episodes of season 2, it was only until Oops where this thing came up. This was never shown to be a character trait Blitz had nor is there even any reason for it, why Blitz has these preconcieved notions about Stolas going in. It's because the writters pulled this out of their ass so they could have an easy way to make Blitzo look like a complete asshole. Nothing more.

It's further accentuated by the show using "tell don't show" in that scene, where we are told that Stolas did all these nice things for Blitz rather than shown, and not to mention these nice things do not line up with Stolas' behavior at all in season 1. It's all just completely and utterly lazy. It's a lazy way to make Blitz in the wrong here. It's a lazy way to absolve Stolas of his behavior again so the narrative could coddle him.

It's a lazy way for the show to pretend this relationship has naunce when it doesn't. Oh, and fans have the fucking gall to say "you don't understand the nuances" when people critisize this shit. Oh, I'm sorry, what naunces? This relationship isn't nuanced in the slightest; it's a victim and abuser relationship where the victim is strawmanned and portayed as wrong and the abuser is coddled and woobifyed. Whether it was intentional or not, that is how the relationship comes across as.

The show needs to see that BOTH perspectives are valid for the "their both in the wrong" thing to even work, but it doesn't. Blitz never gets any slack and Stolas is babyed. That is how this relationship is frammed. You can not ever convince me otherwise.

[weird-bookworm]

LET'S SPREAD SOME LOVE!!!!!

talk about your favourite mutuals and why you like them

😄

oh god this is gonna be one hell of an answer

@fairyhaos because shes the sweetest comfiest most adorably chaotic lil ball of energy + she gives the best advice like hello??? what are you??? oh god my heart goes a little off track everytime we talk i just love you so much

@wheeboo okay shes part 2 of the they-make-me-feel-the-safest trio along w yena and axe like please i stumbled across the sweetest sassiest boo stan ever ALSO UR GORGEOUS???

@blue-jisungs axeaxeaxeaxeaxe so chaotically lovely and so boomer and so fun and yoid think shes savage but no shes just soft and as harmful as a pinecone (why do u remind me of tht one joon meme of him just. sitting there. peeling potatoes. in tiny.)

@slytherinshua we kinda talked less for a while bc life happened and then caught up (kinda lol) and im so glad to see shes still as crazy and lovable as ever (im waiting for tht ppt) like talk abt impressive. impressive is her whole personality. sometimes in, uh, less than conventional ways...hehe

@eternalgyu HANNIE WHERE TF R U I MISS UUUUUUUU 😭😭😭😭🫶🏻 like yk what i imagine when i think of hannie? causing mischief. LIKE IDEK WHY OKAY i just feel like we'd be running around giggling like idiots js pulling random pranks on people and js the thought makes me smile

@yllouhannie ylli is like love. ylli is gentle and kind and sweet. shes understanding and passionate and really quite cute. oh my love you make me wanna jump off a cliff because how can someone like you exist 😭 (no srsly what is this witchcraft ilysm mwah)

@woozvc nora is like home. which is saying a lot lmao i sound dramatic but like yk when u just talk to someone and it feels just right even tho ur not rly doing much? shes older but she lets go and i can just feel how absolutely beautiful this person is *melts off a cliff*

@welcometomyoasis shu oh shu i have no words so pardon if this is a little small but. ik i say this a lot but i rly do mean it. i love you. so much. yr msgs and reblogs and asks always make a smile and they make me giddy and suddenly nothing is wrong with the world 🥺

@haecien bro is my ultimate gay bestie like what else do you need in life other than cien. what. nothing is the answer. life is complete when u hv cien and his shenanigans lolol like i dare you try to Not like him. i m p o s s i b l e.

@glosskirt AYYYYY MY ARMY SOULMATE we connected over min yoongi. we still rant over min yoongi. we shall die talking about min yoongi. like there is nothing better than having someone to fangirl with over my favs gloss you filled a hole in my life <3

@mesanthropi weiwei!!!! my little bundle of sugar spice and everything nice!! (+ chaos and a passion about the randomest shit ever how do u live why am i not this exciting) how is it always fun to talk to you and why do ur msgs excite me so much

@aaniag chaos. thats it. chaos. this woman brought with her about half a dozen more desi moots for me like how do i hug you how do i appreciate you enough i ugghhhh 😩

@thepoopdokyeomtouched im still waiting for my flirting yk? lol on a serious note, u and ur crazy streak r probably the most entertaining thing on here, and i fucking love it. i love ur chaos and the fact tht u choose to share it w me, thank you 🫶🏻

@arafilez bro rly dropped outta thin air like a fucking ghost and made my life abt a 100x more exciting where were you my entire life ara. where. why didnt the atz rants and the writing and the random asks show up sooner. why.

@nonononranghaee HAFS MY LIL CUTIE PATOOTIE WHY DO I ALWAYS WANNA SQUISH U NOMNOM U CRUSH U KSKSJEHEH u give me so much cuteness aggression oh my god...

@kkooongie sarah sarah sarah sarah sarah i live for ur writing and im always looking forward to our little chats abt books and random stuff (...when r u updating btw 😅)

@maeleelee @mxnsxngie @imagine-a-life-like-this i don't tell you guys enough how much i love and appreciate each one of you. i dont tell u enough how grateful i am whenever i think abt u bc god ik how hard it is to take in a random person in ur circle, to adjust w a kid, to make said kid feel safe and included and loved. so thank you. for all that you do for me and for loving lil ol' me <3

@cadenonlinelive where u at damn i hvnt seen u in ages

@rubywonu @idubiluv GUYS STOP HIBERNATING ITS NOT WINTER ANYMORE I MISS U

[a-sociopath-do-your-research]

Hello Everypony :3

finally doing one of these, lol

💙About me!💜

Welcome to my blog for,,, everything! No sideblogs around here we die like men/j

My name is Oliver, but you can also call me oli! (ive got other names too, but that's the main one, check my pronouns page for the whole list!)

Xe/Void/Fox/It/They pronouns but get silly with it, i dont mind!! (except she/her)

We're a system! We dont talk about it a lot but sometimes it comes up yay!!

important post you should read!

I write and draw tho i am better at writing, lmao

@inky-drawings is my lovely girlfriend whom i love very much<333

@azamonvoid is my sib from another crib whom if i dont see soon heads will start rolling<3

@lmanburgseulogy SUPER AMAZING person (cough im copying part of the intro from bug), also my twin o7

@willthemicrowave AMAZING DUDE. Tem you're super cool

❌DNIs❌

cc!Wilbur and/or cc!Dream Team supporters. If i ever post about them its the characters.

-> also, if you see me reblogging from someone who supports them, please warn me!

Anyone who engages in discourse, esp syscourse. I do not care, let people live. Any interaction about it will be ignored and/or deleted. This isnt the place for it.

People in poppytwt/blr. I understand some people write it or engage in it to cope, but it personally just makes us uncomfortable. Thank you.

Just in general hateful people. Transphobes, terfs, homophobes, misogyinists misandrists ect ect. It is not that hard to leave people alone, and if you can't, get out.

✨ (main) Fandoms!! ✨

Hermitcraft/Life series!! My faves are Grian, Etho, Impulse, Zed, Jimmy and Mumbo (not in that order)

-> i engage in shipping the characters, quite a lot,,, if it makes you uncomfortable this ain't the place for you lol

DSMP! my mains are sbi (especially twinsduo you will always be famous to me,,,,), and sometimes feral boys!

-> i dont care most of those people are problematic now, my au just took a general outline of the smp then rewrote everything. There is barely any connection w/actual canon

SCU/Slimecicle cinematic universe!! Blame @alliumsmybeloved for this/j

Hollow Knight! Quirrel, Hornet, Hollow and Ghost are my faves!

-> nothing much other than i hate the traitor lord with a burning passion, lol

and many, many more!! Including percy jackson, portal, ect - these are just the ones im hyperfixating on the most lately!!

⚠ Terms and conditions? ⚠

I'm ok with flirting but ask first just to be sure!

autistic silly little guy. Sometimes i get too much, feel free to tell me if i exagerate and get weird!

-> be nice about it tho, please,,,

send asks send asks!!! They're so silly i love em<333

i do take requests on doodles, headcanons, snippets ect!! It just takes me a bit sometimes to answer!

I have a dsmp/hermitcraft/qsmp/ect au im working on, my magnum opus/j, go check it out it's @the-caladrius-au RAAHHH

I write about the characters, never the ccs.

💬Tag guide!💬

#Oli talks! -> silly tag for everything of mine, rambles,art, writing, reblogs (sometimes,,,)

#shift talks! -> like the above but for shift, one of our other alters :3

#Olis faves -> fav posts and/or posts i want to look back on!

#Oli writes -> pretty self explanitory, for when i write :3

#Oli draws -> for my art n doodles!

#Mutuals my beloveds -> Moot tag!!! For asks or when i talk with/about my mutuals! (if i forget to put it in a post with you, feel free to tell me!)

#nonnies my beloveds -> anon asks

#Beloveds! -> posts about/with @inky-drawings and/or @azamonvoid

#higgs Field au and #HFAU -> posts about my dsmp x Hermitcraft rewrite au

#the multiverse system -> stuff about our system!

#the horrors saga -> the horrors,,,,,, I just wanna write,,,,

#Twinsduo crumbs -> any and all Twinsduo content because I'm normal about them (lie)

#sillytick -> tag for @cao-tick ::3

-> if i forget to tag things properly feel free to remind me!!!

[plain text under cut]

Hello Everypony :3

finally doing one of these, lol

💙About me!💜

Welcome to my blog for,,, everything! No sideblogs around here we die like men/j

My name is Oliver, but you can also call me oli! (ive got other names too, but that's the main one, check my pronouns page for the whole list!)

They/It/xe pronouns but get silly with it, i dont mind!! (except she/her)

We're a system! We dont talk about it a lot but sometimes it comes up yay!!

important post you should read!

I write and draw tho i am better at writing, lmao

@inky-drawings is my lovely girlfriend whom i love very much<333

@azamonvoid is my sib from another crib whom if i dont see soon heads will start rolling<3

@lmanburgseulogy SUPER AMAZING person (cough im copying part of the intro from bug), also my twin o7

@willthemicrowave AMAZING DUDE. Tem you're super cool

❌DNIs❌

cc!Wilbur and/or cc!Dream Team supporters. If i ever post about them its the characters.

-> also, if you see me reblogging from someone who supports them, please warn me!

Anyone who engages in discourse, esp syscourse. I do not care, let people live. Any interaction about it will be ignored and/or deleted. This isnt the place for it.

People in poppytwt/blr. I understand some people write it or engage in it to cope, but it personally just makes us uncomfortable. Thank you.

Just in general hateful people. Transphobes, terfs, homophobes, misogyinists misandrists ect ect. It is not that hard to leave people alone, and if you can't, get out.

✨ (main) Fandoms!! ✨

Hermitcraft/Life series!! My faves are Grian, Etho, Impulse, Zed, Jimmy and Mumbo (not in that order)

-> i engage in shipping the characters, quite a lot,,, if it makes you uncomfortable this ain't the place for you lol

DSMP! my mains are sbi (especially twinsduo you will always be famous to me,,,,), and sometimes feral boys!

-> i dont care most of those people are problematic now, my au just took a general outline of the smp then rewrote everything. There is barely any connection w/actual canon

SCU/Slimecicle cinematic universe!! Blame @alliumsmybeloved for this/j

Hollow Knight! Quirrel, Hornet, Hollow and Ghost are my faves!

-> nothing much other than i hate the traitor lord with a burning passion, lol

and many, many more!! Including percy jackson, portal, ect - these are just the ones im hyperfixating on the most lately!!

⚠ Terms and conditions? ⚠

I'm ok with flirting but ask first just to be sure!

autistic silly little guy. Sometimes i get too much, feel free to tell me if i exagerate and get weird!

-> be nice about it tho, please,,,

send asks send asks!!! They're so silly i love em<333

i do take requests on doodles, headcanons, snippets ect!! It just takes me a bit sometimes to answer!

I have a dsmp/hermitcraft/qsmp/ect au im working on, my magnum opus/j, go check it out it's @the-caladrius-au RAAHHH

I write about the characters, never the ccs.

💬Tag guide!💬

#Oli talks! -> silly tag for everything of mine, rambles,art, writing, reblogs (sometimes,,,)

#shift talks! -> like the above but for shift, one of our other alters :3

#Olis faves -> fav posts and/or posts i want to look back on!

#Oli writes -> pretty self explanitory, for when i write :3

#Oli draws -> for my art n doodles!

#Mutuals my beloveds -> Moot tag!!! For asks or when i talk with/about my mutuals! (if i forget to put it in a post with you, feel free to tell me!)

#nonnies my beloveds -> anon asks

#Beloveds! -> posts about/with @inky-drawings and/or @azamonvoid

#higgs Field au and #HFAU -> posts about my dsmp x Hermitcraft rewrite au

#the multiverse system -> stuff about our system!

#the horrors saga -> the horrors,,,,,, I just wanna write,,,,

#Twinsduo crumbs -> any and all Twinsduo content because I'm normal about them (lie)

-> if i forget to tag things properly feel free to remind me!!!

[nerdinyourarms]

🧡 About Mwah 🧡 NSFW 18+

Minors, racists, transphobes, and all the other meany phobes DNI!!!

!!!Will block ageless blogs!!!

Hello everyone! I'm Aleks, he/him also happy to go by any variation of good boy, slut, whore or any praising name! Can always ask if you are unsure, aslong as you are respectful!

🧡 I am your local 20 year old shy, inexperienced nerd who's eager to learn and ready to earn! (Gimme gold stars 🌟) I'm a student residing in the UK, originally from Bulgaria. I am also pretty inexperienced to tumblr as a whole, so bare with me at times, and any help or advice is greatly appreciated!

🧡 This blog will mainly be about my random horny and intrusive thoughts, fantasies, and interests. Aswell as the occasional programmer/nerd talk mixed in. Can often find me needy, easy to tease, and aching for a finger up the ass! I'm mainly here to just yap, but DMs are open. I'm happy to chat, make some friends and fun flirts, of course hehe!

🧡 Moots have my heart and should always feel free to dm, whenever you overcome that little bit of anxiety, you know what I'm talking about. I love to meet new people and make friends.

🧡 Asks and anons are also open. This is a horny safe space, so feel free to get wild in there, too! With any thoughts, fantasies, and whatever else goes in, you kinky people's minds! :)

General Info:

University student specialising in game development

Single as a pringle has ever been

Ladies of all shapes and sizes have my heart and soul

Massive.. gamer - Rocket league, Minecraft, Oxygen Not Included, Horizon Zero Dawn, GTA, to name a few (always happy to make gamer friends!)

A smut fraud, aggressively listening my way back to smut slut status

Marvel and humongous Spiderman fan

Rom com and Formula 1 enjoyer

Call me corny, but I love learning and seeing myself progress in things

A tech, game, physics, combat aircraft, and maths nerd all in one

2007-2018ish pop, The Score, alternative pop

Fishnets and a stuffed ass are a blessing and should be my constant state of living

My kinks:

Femdom & Gentle femdom

Pegging/receiving anal

Prostate play

Sensual play

Giving anal

Bondage

Praise & light degradation

Pet names

Toys

Edging & teasing

Light pain, spanking, impact play

Breeding & creampies

Orgasm control

Overstim

Voyeurism and exhibitionism

Marking

Free use

Breastfeeding/lactation

Receiving & giving moans and whimpers

Begging

Nipple play

Fisting

Maybe kinks:

Light humiliation

Sounding

Light weapon play

Light pet play

Denial

Dub con/non con

Feet

Limits:

Scat, bodily fluids other than spit, sweat or cum

Gore

Extreme pain, degradation & humiliation

Anything illegal, pedophilia, necrophilia etc

Cuckoldry

Biggest praise kink around so if you would like to feel free to send me some 🙈🫠

[drumcanister]

okay so im doing it anyway and this is about djevel's post kinda but im also just kinda talking out my ass about my opinion on cupanny (I LOVE U MOOT BUT I NEED TO LET THIS OUT IM SORRY 😞)

(to be clear im not attacking the person who made the post im just putting my opinion and thoughts here or else i might start eating the furniture)

The question about why can't colly just stay friends , especially coming from someone who ships cupanny is just,,kinda?? idk

The whole thing with cup and fanny is that he just wants to be friends , nothing more so why use that argument with a ship that clearly has more to offer?

I personally groan out loud when any mention of cupanny being together is mentioned purely because their dynamic is NOT going to benefit either of them at all. Neither respect eachothers boundaries and personally it feels like watching a really bad situationship unfold. (still love them being sillies tho)

They know barely anything about eachother and honestly in my eyes they dont have enough of a connection to really be anything more than friends. the "flirting" is just really stale in my eyes and lacks depth. Plus shes exactly the kind of girl hes dated like 3 times before , it's just going to be a cycle of him getting hurt again.

Cupanny is obvious , it's predictable and literally everyone and their grandma is expecting it to happen. Colly (if its done right) has the potential to be a really good slow burn. It has everything cupanny lacks in my opinion.

Holly has seen everything cup is afraid to show and she doesn't judge or get disgusted , she knows what kind of person he is which is the entire reason she didn't trust or like him at first. He can be himself around her , his childish self , without the fear or uncertainty. He can be open and honest , he can cry and be scared around her.

Fanny hasn't and she never will because he doesn't trust her enough to tell her that like he does with holly. Theres a clear lack of connection and trust with them.

Considering fanny's situation as well i don't think she should be dating anyone for a long time , she needs to heal from this and being with someone like cup isn't going to help that at all. Same would apply to him as well , he needs that genuine love and understanding and unfortunately , in my opinion , i don't think fanny can provide that for him.

honestly all in all idgaf who bro dates (if anyone at all) just get him a cat , heaps of candy and a goddamn vacation.

(once again this isn't an attack i just wanted to share my thoughts on this whole thing , its my personal opinion so if you don't agree then don't read it lmao)

[cloudcountry]

hello my fellow solomon enjoyer in christ !!!!!! i hope you dont mind me dropping knto your inbox (i wanna befriend more solomon enjoyers if u dont midn that either ><) outta nowhere

your solomon snippet fromnthe other day is still stufk in my head (because firstly it heavily aligns w my own hcs and your writing is heartwrenchingly beautiful!!!) so i was wondering what other angst sol hcs you have !!!

have a lovely day !!! (also this is my fourth attempt bc tumblr keeps on crashing in the middle of writing this ask……. 😭)

HELLO!!!!! i dont mind one bit pls drop by whenever!!!! i am super excited whenever i see something in my inbox :D !!!!

FRIEND ??? YES I WOULD LOVE THAT i dont rlly have any obey me moots AAAAAAA RATTLING YOU RN

?>!@!>?@>?!>?@>?#!>?@ I LOVE IT WHEN MY HCS ALIGN W SOMEONE ELSES IT MAKES ME FEEL SO SMART LIKE YES!!!! I THOUGHT THAT TOO!!!!! AAAAA!!!!!!!

i have quite a few actually SO SO SO IM SO EXCITED TO SHARE JEHFHRGHGHRGRH YOU HAVE A GODO DAY TOO!!!! THANK YOU <33333 (tumblr is so annoying sometimes HELP)

SPOILERS FOR THE OG GAME LESSONS 16-17

His whole hehe haha jokey thing when he flirts with MC? It's because he doesn't want to get too attached because they're MORTAL but he's so desperately in love with them that he'd do anything for them!!! We've seen it!!! This man would fight DEMONS more powerful than him and go up against ANYTHING just so you're safe!!! GRAHHHH that scene in Nightbringer when Belphie was like "I'm mad." and Solomon was like "And you think I'm not?" FUCK THAT LIVES RENT FREE IN MY MIND I THINK ABOUT IT SO MUCH. Actions speak louder than words!!

He's had multiple nightmares about losing them to a demon, especially Belphegor because he actually killed MC. He also dreams of Lucifer threatening them (ANOTHER thing that happened in the OG game, but this was one that Solomon actually witnessed) except this time Solomon can't get to them and before he knows it their eyes are lifeless and he's the only one that seems to care on the dancefloor of demons who laugh at the existence of humans.

There's a small part of him that wants to convince MC to attempt to become immortal just like him so he can see them all the time, though the bigger part of him knows that isn't right. Please tell him it's okay to be selfish.

Every day, he insists on taking a picture of you. He has a secret little scrapbook of pictures and memories of you, daily memories of you. It doesn't matter if all you did that day was video call him, he'll take a screenshot of your smiling face and put that in his scrapbook. He does this so he'll have a timeline of your relationship, from the day one of you confessed to the day you pass. He'll be able to remember anything and everything about you even when you aren't there anymore.

Whenever you cuddle with Solomon and he rests his head on your chest, he's listening to your heartbeat. I actually think most if not ALL the obey me cast would do this (ESPECIALLY BELPHIE!!!!!!) just to check that you're still okay and haven't been hurt.

He has a habit of checking you for injuries whenever he sees you. He'll run his hands down your arms and down your waist just to make sure there's no wounds. It's become so habitual that he doesn't even really realize he's doing it anymore.

[sanaxo-o]

spread some love !

talk about your favourite mutuals and why you like them

I am only tagging the mutuals who I talk on a daily basis. I truly love, respect and look up to every single mutual of mine and I am really grateful to have them in my life because I don’t think I would have come this far without them :)

@o-onikix : Nara is literally my closest and dearest friend I could ask for. She literally knows everything about me, she is also someone who pays close attention to me and always remembers the littlest things I say. Like once we were talking and I mentioned about me liking butterscotch cake and a few days later when we were on call and I was eating a cake Nara went “Is that butterscotch cake?” Without even me having to tell her. It made me genuinely so happy because tbh she might be the only irl friend who pays so close attention to me and my well being. Not only that you will always see me running to her whenever I am in some kind of misery and she would always be there for me and listen to me. I still remember how I was there with Nara when we were talking about ghosts 😭. Poor baby was shaking 💀 but tbh…she’s cute like that haha. I love you so much Nara 🥺

@from-izzy : ironic how it’s about to be a year since I sent you that flirty text as our first conversation. Omg glad I got this ask now. So yesterday I had this huge argument and was upset but do you know what izz does? She call me to check on me to know if I am okay 🥺. Like that made me realise that I truly am surrounded by such lovable and caring people and that also especially someone like izzy knowing she was herself freaking out over her assignments yet she called me :( it made me want to cry (happy tears yall). And tbh even though me and izzy argue most of the time her silly stuff at the end of the day I always go to her knowing I cannot live a day without hearing her rant about uni. Mine and Izzy’s friendship cannot be described in one paragraph tbh 😭. Like we have way too many dynamics for that 😭. We can be flirting on one app, bickering on another and having a deep conversation on some whole another app. To sum it up, I trust izzy a loads and I always go to her when I have to talk about something :) love you 🥺

@winterchimez : my Als, mu Sabrina Carpenter enthusiasts, the one who bears my crazy ass 🥺. We literally bonded over Sabrina Carpenter and I love that for us. I always go to ally when I see something negative or just to talk about something I get stressed about and you know what fills my heart? She is always there for me. Despite everything she’s been going through, she still manages to have a talk with me and I admire her for that. Not only that she might be one of the strongest people out there for still doing what she’s doing despite the struggles. Me and ally are someone who would always be together (as she said, we’re Kyunyu) she’s also ig the third mutual I made on this app which is really important for me because it wasn’t easy for me at that time knowing my writing was always dark and it made me kind of reluctant on making friends, scared people might judge me but Ally just out here accepting me as her gremlin. (I will always send you Sangyeon stuff. Once you see this expect that Sangyeon video in your DMs mam). Love you despite all the stuff I pull up with hehe.

@strayed-quokka : me and Lenlen met just this year, in feb but we got insanely close so fast it’s crazy. If you are a moot of Lennon you can expect some adventures from her side which will always make you go “WHAT? HOW ARE YOU? EVERYTHING ALRIGHT??” Like no kidding. I used to also read her TBZ work (by that I mean that Sunwoo fic) before I became her moot and I still cannot accept the fact that we’re now moots 😭🥺. She has my heart and we’re married I believe. The one thing I always look forward to is “Good morning Sana” from lenlen which just makes me smile like a kid 🥺. Me and lenlen also have such chaotic moments together, she’s always up to something in the DMs tbh 😭. And when you see me and lenlen together expect some crazy flirtings from both sides haha cause it’s never gonna stop. I still admire how lenlen and @from-izzy were there for me when I was scared and hid myself in the washroom:( it made me feel so much more better and safer knowing they are there for me no matter what.

@mosviqu : despite me and Boo starting off on some..meh terms (it’s not my fault you thought I was bullying you 😐) we grew so close after that tbh 😭. Me and bar from talking about her Sunwoo fic to me making a doc of Eric fic which only she has the access to 🥺. The words are not enough, because there’s so much to talk about her, from her writing, to her sweet personality, to her chaotic energy which just explodes out of nowhere. She also never fails to amaze me with her choice of words sometimes…

@cloverdaisies : we haven’t talked talked lately because (fuck your job and uni. They’re taking you away from me 😭🥺) life happened but I look up to clo and her writing so much it’s unimaginable. I remember how I was fangirling about her to ally and ally going “oh she’s my mutual” and me not believing it until clo started following me which made me want to scream and die out of happiness + embarrassment because hello?? Your favourite author just followed you 😭. And now when it comes to clo…I don’t trust her (jk) but I love her. She is…she makes me question reality with what she says everytime 😐. But I will never forget how clo was there for me when I needed her the most. She was listening to me talk when I was scared and I was truly glad because there was someone who was there to listen to me.

@astrae4 : Gill is like my child who always gets herself in trouble 😐😭. We always simp, sob, cry and scream over the one and only Choi Chanhee but despite that she gives some of the great advices when you need it. And no I am not gonna play that restaurant game ever again child-

@quaissants : my gremlin, my pudding 🥰. I trouble her like…everyday which makes her want to kill me (enemies to lovers?-) but despite that she helps me a loads when it comes to writing 🥺. We mostly interact on the server but nowadays I talk with her in DMs too which I am grateful for <3

@itsbeeble : hmm…I love you but I won’t stop bullying you (I don’t even bully you. You just think I bully you and it’s just your mind playing games with you because it’s always filled with Eric and Sunwoo…) jk but because of her busy schedule we don’t get to talk much but whenever she comes back from her disappearance those days might be one of the best ones because I have fun with her and izzy. Hope you’re alright and healthy since you disappeared. Again.

[punkitt-is-here]

Saw your blog post earlier and it reminded me of the conversation we had some months back about my choosing to be known as a girl online because I couldn't stand to have the "assumed male" internet default applied to me anymore.

It's still not a judgement, of course, and it's all moot now I guess. But I am curious:

Have you always intended to choose to become known as Girl Online and simply didn't want to go about doing it yet, or did your position evolve from one of not wanting to be gendered online at all?

always wanted to be a girl online! it was just a matter of waiting til i felt ready. I might have flirted a bit with keeping myself ungendered, but it'd be really hard to keep up and the intent was always mostly to have fun with the mystery but not as a long-term thing. I'm glad i had the experience though, because I think it really made my audience view me outside the lens of gender which was kind of what i was wanting! my main gripe was people assuming things about me just off of my identity, but i feel like most folks are past that now that i've very concretely expressed my desires and i feel good about the whole thing.

[pontiussy]

JACKASS BF HEADCANNONS!!!

warnings: none, sfw <3

I’ve had these in the drafts for so long but my twitter moot mentioned hcs which inspired me to post these, enjoy!

Chris

goofy ahh

you guys r always giggling about dumb shit

annoying everyone bc you guys do NOT SHUT UP AROUND EACHOTHER ur so giggly all the time

he doesn't care:)

WILL PLAY GUITAR FOR YOU SHSJKSKS

even if he's just messing around you love listening to him

he loves how excited you get when he plays for you, his smile is so cute AAAA <33

late night walks

tackle hugs !!

squeezes you to death and does the lil spinny thing when hugging

always followed by forehead kissies

pinches ur cheeks n shit

just the gigglest relationship ever

he just always smiles around you :)) he can't help it

lets you play with his hair

he loves it

you brush it for him, and braid it sometimes

he is so thankful and makes sure to tell you how pretty his hair looks now

not that it needed your help at ALL

always cuddlin

you love watching him do bits

and he loves having you on set

never seen a man so proud of his s.o. being there to witness his boys do silly things to his ding ding

he comes over to you after every one to see if you thought it was funny or not

just like this :D

assuring him that you did think it was funny

calling him party boy affectionately

and calling him chrissy :))

he calls you 'y/n bug' :"")

also has silly nicknames for you for sure based on inside jokes

would still think you are just as beautiful if you hadn't showered in a month and were wearing a garabge bag

this is so specific but I just picture him to make a lil flower crown for you :")

Bam

known each other since you were kids

always hung out with him and the cky gang growing up

corny friends to lovers bullshit when you get older

being his personal nurse when he wipes out

acts like he hates it in front of the guys

loves it

obvi calling him bammy, bambi, bam bam

calling him brandon occasionally to piss him off

bam is a pouty whiny BITCH

he just wants ur attention!!

will not hesitate to grab your hand in public when someone flirts with you

ur his >:-( !!!

buys you jewelry, clothes, shit whatever ur lil heart desires

going to concerts together

money is not an object when it comes to making you happy

does not appreciate it when the guys mess with you on set

he gets very aggressive

"bam its okay it was funny pls calm down" "no its not okay these dickheads need to leave you alone!!!" all POUTYYY

wearing his clothes

he thinks you're so beautiful when you do and makes sure you know

doing his eyeliner

laying on his chest when you sleep, him scratching your head gently <3

rubs your back when you hug him

calls u "my girl" AAAA

matching tats ofc

matching outfits sometimes too

loves buying you new clothes for you to model for him

he just thinks you're so pretty <3

april and phil just love you

Johnny

he calls you so so many sweet names

I think it's his love language

doll, darlin', punkin, sweetheart, etc

"how was your day, doll?"

he's so flirty with you

he never stopped flirting with you even after you became official

king of romance

would take you to the rodeo or some shit

does that whistle thing when you enter a room lookin all dolled up

"now who's this pretty lil thing?"

loves getting you embarrassed by flirting with you in front of people

loves to hold your waist

prefers that you don't watch his really dangerous stunts, he doesn't want you to be scared :"(

he thinks you're beautiful no matter what, but cannot deny that he LOVES when you wear his favorite dress and do your hair really nice

"you know just what to do to drive a man wild, darlin'"

you love wearing his pink jackass cardigan

I feel like he would really enjoy you wearing red lipstick so he can mess it up later

SITTING IN HIS LAP

in front of the guys too he doesn't give a fuck

he babies you a lot

you are his whole world

singing songs together in the car !!

Ryan

simply the sweetest bf ever

arm around you always

"hun" :")

so many forehead kisses

both of u being adopted by april

I just feel like he'd be very comforting, and the best to have deep, late night convos with

will never judge you for anything (make jokes? oh definitely. never judgemental tho)

cuddly asf

would affectionately do that head rub hair messing up thing?? (there's a word for that i just can't think of it)

always there to calm you when you’re stressed or scared, in any way you need

“shh it’s ok I’m here” “I’m not going anywhere hun” and hugs and forehead kisses and shit awwwww

loves hugs

he’s such a gentle lover, I don’t know how else to put it. He’s just so sweet and caring and soft n shit

he would do anything to put a smile on your face

if one of the guys tried to mess with you? he will punch the shit out of them seriously

you are ry’s world ok!!!!

you and him are absolutely best friends

never the arguing type. if there’s a problem you’re gonna sit down and talk about it. he’s an amazing listener and always understands your side of things. of course lots of huggin and cuddlin after the fact :)

he babies the shit out of you

I picture him to always bring you little gifts/trinkets to show his love. like if he was filming out of town he’d bring you back something cool he found at a thrift store or gift shop, or maybe a cool rock he found on the side of the road.

i also picture him to wanna buy you cute stuff too like necklaces, but random cool items are a staple in this relationship!

always wearing his shirts

I picture him to kiss u a LOT. he’s leaving the room for a sec? gotta kiss that cheek. you’re watching a movie? soft kisses on the forehead. going on a walk? kisses your hand while holding it.

Steve-O

calls u babe

respectful king

shows you off at any opportunity

romantic asf

flower petals in your bedroom n shit type romantic

helping him with his elaborate bullshit ideas

partners in crime honestly

matching fits type cheesy

prank wars with eachother

thinks you are an angelic being and deserve the highest of respect and praise

adopting pets together :)) and being pet parents :))

going on trips and vacations together as often as possible!

I can’t even fathom how he would react if someone disrespected you oh god

it would be so ugly

they are absolutely destroyed

if you’re ever feeling insecure, he ain’t having that bullshit

worship!!!!!!

he’s gonna go on and on and on about how drop dead gorgeous and wonderful you are and kiss the shit out of you

you better not dare say anything negative about yourself in his presence, he will give you an ear full so fast

you are a god to him

he definitely buys you jewelry n shit

and cute lil outfits

and compliments the shit out of you in them obvi

“damnn baby you look so good in that”

HANDSY SO HANDSY

hands to yourself has no meaning to him (obviously unless you told him to stop! he’d never wanna make you uncomfy)

Dave

SO SO SWEET!

calls you things like “love” n “sweetheart”

squishes ur cheeks n shit

hugs from behind !!!!

corny ass dates like going to a diner and having a milkshake with two straws

you both baby eachother

comforting him after gnarly stunts

petting and kissing him

if you ever need comfort he will pet and kiss you too

always has an arm around you

loves being close to you!

he is such a kind and loving bf

would never ever want you to be sad and will do anything it takes to prevent it

ehren third wheeling on trips n shit

you have the best times together when it’s you 3! always giggling

but it’s even better when ehren leaves and it’s just the two of you, sharing sweet loving moments where nothing else matters, just you two together, in warm embrace :)

your chemistry is just so good, that it’s almost like you speak a foreign language sometimes to the other guys. no one gets eachother like you do, even if it may not make sense to others

I think he would love playing with your hair

and just holding you

and doing both at the same time actually

he is just the kindest ever and it’s always so considerate of you.

best listener. you could really rant to him for hours and he’s gonna give you his full undivided attention and comfort.

also great advice too I feel. I think all around he’d be amazing to talk to

never ever ever ever judgemental. ever

loves you to death !!!

Ehren

he is baby

you wear the pants in this relationship and that’s cool with him

I picture you two to have met on set. you had been costars for a while. while everyone was making ehren the butt of a joke, you just never participated. If ehren and dave weren’t partnering up for stunts, it was typically you and ehren. you made a great duo, being the underdogs of the jackass crew. you understood eachother and had a great bond. you eventually confessed your feelings to one another one night while you were hanging out at his place.

he was completely shocked

he thought you were far too beautiful and lovely and cool to want someone like him

you assure him he is acting silly

he was so giddy and smiley, and you could practically feel his butterflies secondhand when you leaned in to kiss him

been together ever since

like I said ehren is baby

little spoon energy

he worships the ground you walk on bc he thinks he doesn’t deserve you

you have to reassure him that you absolutely adore him

he loves holding your hand

I picture him to always smile at you the same way he did in the honeymoon phase forever

he’s all yours, he’s such a sucker for you

separation anxiety like a mf

you stay with a friend for a weekend and the second you come home he’s tackling you with hugs, he’s so excited to see you :)))

he would lay his head in your lap and have you scratch his head while watching movies on the couch

he thinks you are the most wonderful person on this planet and will never fail to remind you of how proud he is of you and all you’ve achieved

I picture him to write you little love notes n shit which are so thoughtful and meaningful but with cute little spelling mistakes sprinkled in (how do I spell gorjus headass)

takes anniversaries and v day and all that shit so seriously and WILL go all out

always your choice of food and activities on those days, he lives to please you

a little bit of a jealous type (maybe a lot a bit)

you’ll always reassure him though

sweetest baby ever I love him

[starrynightzcollective]

☆ INTRODUCTORY POST ☆

last updated on: july 17th, 2024!

haaiiii!! my name is cyrus, super nice to meet you guys!!! i am a c-did system with bpd and autism, and i am a demiboy who is pan and aroaceflux!! i am very much so taken so plz do not flirt w/ me :DD

! I'M 14 YEARS OLD, DO NOT BE WEIRD PLZ !

moot requests are totally open!! a little p.s, i am angelkin, raccoon therian/raccoonkin, and i have a whole lot of fictives hanging around!!! :)) ... also if you know my old acc no you fuckin don't

CONTINUE FOR: dni, byf, interests, and extra info <3

INTERESTS:

fnaf, dsaf, dialtown, scp foundation, batim, sander sides, mark egos, roblox myths, bnha, scott pilgrim takes off, hazbin hotel/helluva boss, hetalia, gravity falls, gobb, ddlc, mlp, undertale, deltarune, cuphead, dead plate, centricide, death note, pokemon, hamilton the musical, resident evil, underverse, detroit become human, okegom, tf2, kinito pet, and some other things i probablyyy forgot to add!!

YOUTUBER AND MUSIC ARTIST INTERESTS:

youtubers: flamingo, markiplier, jacksepticeye, danny gonzalez, drew gooden, jarvis johnson, kurtis conner, funkyfrogbait music artists: ghost bc, sleep token, mitski, lana del ray, jack stauber, lemon demon, sodikken, tally hall, will wood, rihanna

BYF:

i have bpd and suspected asd, so please tread lightly and try to keep this a positive space (no drama)!

i am a minor. keep it sfw.

i tend to get very anxious with interactions, so if i seem nervous, don't worry, you didn't do anything!

i can be a bit obnoxious with asks, so if you don't like it, please just ask me to stop :))

DNI CRITERIA:

i block freely, buuuuttt... homophobes, transphobes, racists, zionists, nazis or neo-nazis, anti-furry, anti-otherkin, anti-therian, anti-neopronouns, anti-xenopronouns, anti-xenogenders, proships or comships, and overall assholes. keep off my page, you WILL be BLOCKED.

KINS:

dave miller (dsaf)

henry miller (dsaf)

twilight sparkle (mlp)

dr iceberg (scp foundation)

karen (dialtown)

darkiplier (mark egos)

dabi (bnha)

toga himiko (bnha)

yuri (ddlc)

error (underverse)

(none of the above are for abusive reasons!!)

[devilat-thedoor]

yanno what, the scars are fucking opened, so let’s talk about it. i’ve kept quiet regarding the whole situation with Lucie because i didn’t want to be involved in the drama that she continued to create. but now that someone is skipping across gvf tumblr and tossing their opinions and support for Lucie in asks under anon, while simultaneously trying to tear down and drag other writers/blogs, i’d like to put my two fucking cents in.

First and foremost, she mislabeled/forgot her warnings and instead of accepting it and correcting the mistake, she decided to divert blame and play victim. and the argument that “books don’t have trigger warnings irl.” fucking moot point. as long as i’ve been on tumblr, fic warnings have ALWAYS been a thing. and if you can’t deal with that, maybe this isn’t the place for you to do your writing. sorry.

Second, if you can honestly stand behind her and defend her disgusting and twisted views regarding sexual assault and abuse, you’re a problem. i fully believe that everyone is entitled to their opinion, but to tell someone that once they climb into bed with someone, consent essentially doesn’t exist anymore??????? in what fucking world? you lose the right to your own body when you lay down with somebody? that’s how that works, then? so, 8 year old me was asking for a man, who i looked up to, who i thought would protect me like a brother, would look out for me? i was fucking asking for it when i laid down to go to sleep? that’s on me right? because i climbed into the bed and curled up under the blanket???? i deserved that? if you can honestly look at anybody, victim of abuse/assault/harassment, and tell them that what happened was their fault because they made that choice? because they gave up their right to consent? how many fucking times do we have to hear “well if she wasn’t wearing that….” or “he was flirting with her, he obviously wanted it…” before we realize that it’s never the fucking victim’s fault. what a dangerous and terrifying point of view to have.

for anybody who’s been hurt by the horrid and atrocious things that Lucie or anyone who continues to ride her coattails has said, just know that you’re not alone. my dms are always open and i can promise a judgement free ear to listen and a heart full of love for you. and if you don’t like my standpoint, block me. i don’t give a fuck.

[toomuchracket]

thinking of big beefy protective bf ross w/ a shy gf who blushes easily and he takes full advantage of this by shamelessly flirting with her at every chance he gets. bonus points if she gets so flustered that she buries her face in his chest and refuses to look at him and he’s just standing there completely melting in place

the ross thirst council moots (aka me and @throughthepostmodernlens) have convened to discuss this a lil bit and we've reached the consensus that ross would absolutely be at his peak with the shameless flirting if the two of you were at the beach together with the rest of the boys and partners. like, you're looking cute as hell in your swimwear and your sunhat (literally a crucial thing you do NOT want a sunburnt scalp believe me), and ross has just been a nightmare about it the whole day - the minute you take your cover-up off at the beach and settle down on the sun-lounger, he's coming over and tilting your chin so he can kiss you and coo compliments at you. very like "look at you, all adorable in your hat, so pretty in that outfit, baby, prettiest girl in the whole world", which sets your cheeks aflame and makes you giggle uncontrollably, and you literally cannot make eye contact with ross; you know he's smirking, though, because it's him. and then, because ross is a little bit evil sometimes, he leans in and says something suggestive like "definitely going to see how pretty the outfit looks on the floor of our room later too" and he's running off into the sea with the boys before you can even gasp - you just sit there, mouth open in shock. you half-watch him fuck around with the boys in the water for a bit, smiling at the sounds of them laughing like kids, and lie on your front on the sun-lounger so you can read your book without the sunshine blinding you, and then look up when you hear the familiar voices get louder - your cheeks heat up and your jaw drops again, though, at the sight of your boyfriend striding out of the water towards you, water droplets rolling down that broad fucking chest of his and glinting in the sun. and you smile and look back at your book before you genuinely combust, only to squeak in surprise as ross squeezes your bum gently while he moves to sit behind you on the sun lounger and he's like "come up and sit with me, my love, i'll put some sunscreen on you". you're like "yeah ok", because you do need it, and move to sit slightly in front of ross, facing him; he slowly rubs it into your calves, giggling at you hiding your face in your hands when he compliments how soft your skin is, and then hooks his hands under your knees to scootch you forward into his lap and says something really stupidly flirty like "oh look, there's an angel in my lap! did the fall from heaven hurt?" lol. and you're literally burning up in embarrassment (but also affection), and all you can do is just curl up a little bit and burrow into ross' chest - he wraps his arms around you and kisses your head like "god, you're so cute. i love you and your shyness so much lol" bless him <3

[nowjumpinthewater]

so my dad played these songs today and I can't stop thinking about them so I'm shoving kotlc characters onto them

Jessie's girl by Rick Springfield is I think a LOT like Keefe when Sophie and Fitz were together

Jessie is a friend

But lately something's changed that ain't hard to define

Jessie's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine

so obviously Keefe likes Sophie, and when Fitzphie happened, he still liked her and definitely felt jealous of fitz

I'll play along with the charade

There doesn't seem to be a reason to change

You know, I feel so dirty when they start talking cute

I wanna tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot

he'd probably try not to think about that, bc of the fact that Fitz was his best friend (not that much I guess atp) but he'd still feel that way

And I'm looking in the mirror all the time

Wonderin' what she don't see in me

I've been funny, I've been cool with the lines

Ain't that the way love's supposed to be?

anyway THIS part i think is definitely Keefe because his whole 'thing' is that he's funny! and he makes a point to flirt with Sophie, and knows that he can make her blush. So he'd probably be a little confused, and think that it's something with HIM

Jessie's girl

I wish that I had Jessie's girl

I want Jessie's girl

Where can I find a woman like that?

this bit I think is that Keefe definitely loves Sophie, and holds her on a little pedestal, which would make it harder for anyone else to kind of catch his attention