#flippy was the one who asked anyway

[azureforreal]

All the special stuff I did for Valentine's day

CW: Suggestive stuff

I'm terribly sorry you have to see this...

Some comic extras

Aaaaaaaand the afterbite (Aftercare)

[happyk44]

Been trying to write some nonsense abt PDs but struggling because how do you word thoughts again? Anyway, some updates to the propensity list! New ones are bolded!

Zeus/Jupiter: OCPD and Autism (based on being the god of law and order, and justice, as well as king of Olympus)

Poseidon: BPD, Bipolar Disorder, Conduct Disorder and ASPD (based on the idea of a moody and volatile sea)

Neptune: SZPD and ASPD (based on the idea of an emotionless and uncaring sea)

Hades/Pluto and Thanatos/Mors: infertility, and, in rare cases, sterility (self-explanatory)

Ares: IED, ODD, Conduct Disorder, and ASPD (self-explanatory)

Hypnos/Somnus, Morpheus, and the Oneiroi/Somnia: Excessive daytime sleepiness/Hypersomnia, Maladaptive Daydreaming, Narcolepsy, and Parasomnias (self explanatory)

Pasithea: STPD (based on her being the goddess of rest, relaxation, delusions and hallucinations. While STPD does not involve hallucinations, it does involve distorted cognition and perceptions, as well as magical thinking, which I think fits within the delusion part)

Hermes/Mercury: Kleptomania, Restless Leg Syndrome, and Elopement (self-explanatory)

Aphrodite/Venus and the Erotes: Hypersexuality, Paraphilic disorders, Cacophobia, and HPD (self-explanatory)

Apollo: HPD (I mean... it's self-explanatory, right? We know who he is, lol), and Nyctophobia (self-explanatory)

Nyx/Nox and Erebus: Photosensitivity/sun allergy (self-explanatory)

Athena/Minerva: Arachnophobia (canon)

Akhyls: Major depressive disorder and Cherophobia (self-explanatory)

Lethe: Dementia and Alzheimer's (self-explanatory)

Hephaestus/Vulcan: Pyromania (self-explanatory)

Demeter/Ceres: Seasonal affective disorder (based on the fact that winter is representative of Demeter's sadness that her daughter is gone for the whole)

Phobia and mania descriptions:

Cacophobia: fear of ugliness

Nyctophobia: fear of the dark

Arachnophobia: fear of spiders

Cherophobia: fear of happiness

Kleptomania: inability to resist urges to steal items that are not needed (impulse control disorder)

Pyromania: inability to resist urges to start fires (impulse control disorder)

Considering Body Dysmorphia Disorder for Aphrodite's children for obvious reasons, but I'm not sure that's likely? Like fear of being ugly, I can see, but the concept that they themselves are ugly or parts of their body doesn't fit is a little flippy-floppy, so idk.

Also thinking about DPDR for Hypnos and the dream babes, or his wife Pasithea since I think it could work with her delusion/hallucination aspect. However, as someone who frequently experiences DP, idk if I would characterize it as a delusion or hallucination 🤔🤔

Similarly - alcoholism/substance abuse for Dionysus's children? It seems obvious but as the god of wine, surely they would have a higher tolerance for the stuff. Possibly that still relates to being capable of developing a dependence on it? But idk.

As always, feel free to hop into my asks to chat about your thoughts or ideas - whether you disagree or agree with the above. Always curious to know what other people think 😊

[9haharharley1]

The Proposal, ch?? teaser

Killian stopped as he entered the house, hearing music from the kitchen. It was familiar, something he hadn't heard in at least a few years. Elvis wasn't someone he typically listened to.

He hadn't thought Walter would be a fan either.

He could see the kid at the table, tinkering with some new project. The kid could barely keep that big brain of his occupied, and if he wasn't working on some project for R.T.U.V. then he was working on some personal project or other. He'd barely left the kid alone for an hour while he took a jog to stretch his legs and get some air, and already Walter had taken apart the toaster. He's surprised it actually took this long.

"What are you doing?" he asked, chuckling as Walter nearly fell out of his chair, so engrossed in his work he hadn't heard Killian enter. He jerked his head over with wide eyes. Killian raised his hands, the fingers on his new hand clicking a little. "Easy, kid. Didn't mean to startle you."

"Who's startled? I'm not startled! You didn't startle me!" Walter rambled. Killian just rose a brow with a small smirk. Walter coughed. "Right, uh..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry. I guess I was spacing pretty hard."

"You have to learn to be more aware of your surroundings," Killian stated. He strolled to the sink, filling up a glass of water and taking a sip before taking a seat next to the younger man. Walter wouldn't look at him. "Might get you hurt one day."

Walter gave a sad little snort. "Yeah, well... it wouldn't be the first time." Killian felt a burst of anger, first at the thought of any who would dare hurt such a sweet kid, only for it to settle at the realization that he had also hurt the little genius. He released a slow, controlled breath. Walter shook his head. "A-anyway," he stuttered, "h-how was your run?"

"Oh, it was quite exciting," Killian said, leaning back in his chair, arms crossed. He grinned at the wide eyes the kid gave him. "I saw some birds, saw some trees." Walter's lips pursed, eyes narrowing. Killian smirked. "I think I even saw a fox."

"Okay, now you're just teasing," Walter grumbled.

"A bit, yeah," Killian admitted. The song on the radio changed, Heartbreak Hotel switching over to Blue Suede Shoes. He figured Walter was listening to a playlist instead of a radio station. "What are you working on?" He gestured to the mess on the table.

Walter's eyes widened. "Uh... The flippy thing on the toaster wasn't working..."

Killian rose a brow. "Seemed to be working fine this morning."

"Okay, fine- I got bored!" Walter admitted. He threw his hands up. "The bread was taking too long to toast, and I was getting impatient! So I thought, maybe I could make it heat up faster. Instant toast!"

"You're going to strain the heating element if you do that," Killian pointed out. "Wears it out faster."

Walter sighed. "Yeah, I know. Worth a shot, though, right?" He gave Killian one of those shy smiles.

"Never hurts to try." Killian ignored the soft feeling that little smile brought him. He glanced over at the counter where Walter's little cobbled together radio sat. "Although," he started, "I never would have figured you for an Elvis fan."

"Well, you would figure correct," Walter admitted. He looked back down at the toaster, clearly avoiding Killian's gaze. "My, uh... My mom loved Elvis. She and my grandma used to listen to all kinds of old music."

"And how old counts as old music?" Killian asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Anything before I was born," Walter said with a laugh. "But really anything before 1991. Mom was a big Queen and Michael Jackson fan."

"At least she had some taste," Killian muttered. That earned him another quiet laugh, and he counted that as a point in his favor. As the song ended and the opening notes of the next started, Killian had an idea. He grinned a little. "Although, Elvis was the King for a reason."

Walter looked up from where he was screwing a panel back in place, brow raised in curiosity. "And what's that?"

Killian stood, holding out his new hand to the younger man. Walter looked confused but took it, only to yelp as Killian hauled him from the seat, catching him around his thin waist with his good arm. He watched as pale cheeks flushed bright red, grinning down at the boy as he adjusted his hold on Walter's hand. "He certainly knew how to set the mood." Walter stared back with wide eyes.

"Wise men say"-

Killian led with a step away from the table to the more open space of the kitchen, chuckling as Walter stumbled over his feet.

"Only fools rush in"-

"Follow my lead," he murmured, pulling the youth closer. Walter only seemed to blush more, looking away from Killian's face to his chest. This seemed to only make him even more embarrassed, and he glanced off to the side.

"But I can't help"-

He couldn't seem to figure out what to do with his other hand, eventually placing it on Killian's upper arm. The kid barely came up to his shoulders, and Killian tightened his grip around his waist, pulling him impossibly closer. He was so small in Killian's arms.

"Falling in love with you."

---

Because I have zero self-control and @gilly-moon asked so nicely, how could I refuse?? And yes, Walter built him a new arm.

[bo-bo-bean]

No one asked for this but I'm writing it anyway.

TRAFFIC LIGHTS SHIP

The ship between Pop, Disco Bear and Flippy? *chef kiss*

I never thought I would love them so much! They're just all sad geezers who make each other feel better with hot chocolate nights and snuggling-

Pop. Man needs a break XD He needs some love in his life and help with his son, but doesn't realize dating these two dorks helps him realize he comes in the equation of love.

Disco Bear, I feel, is a closeted gay who refuses to even think about opening the door, right? That's just how I see him. Or he could be a MetroSexual, soooooo there's that

Flippy. What to say that isn't already said XD Canonically, he had PTSD and a split personality disorder; the creators said so!! (Ask me for the link to that). Boy needs so much love and care. (I also feel when he's about to flip, the two bears just smother him in love like a weighted blanket and whisper sweet nothings to him.)

Together, they just help each other lift one another higher and stronger...! Pop would make dinners at night, Disco Bear would let the two vent about their days, and Flippy makes the best god damn cookies later on for them to snack on while watching old black and white movies.

Also also! Cub! Am I adding him in the ship? Hell nah, that's just creepy. BUT how would Disco Bear and Flippy react to Cub?

Flippy would be the BEST father figure, I feel. He basically held the army on his shoulders after that whole Tiger operation to make up for it, I'm sure! I mean, man went from Private to Sargent for a reason, right? He would teach Cub some things, maybe is prone to spoiling him a bit with baked goods. He also makes him socks and sweaters!! He would knit while having Cub in his lap, either asleep or babbling along.

Disco Bear would be a great parental figure with at least surveillance every hour or so. He can teach Cub things EASILY, but he mostly dances with Cub. (Bet, he taught Cub how to twerk, Pop did NOT appreciate that). He's still a fun dad who takes Cub out of the house to the beach or the mall or out to eat! He also acts like he knows what Cub is saying

"Baba-oooboo!"

"*gasp* You don't say!"

"Aba! Gooya!"

"She didn't!"

Yeah just like that.

Now how would Pop and DB react to Fliqpy?

Hoo boy

Pop would do everything in his power to help Fliqpy calm down and he is shockingly really good at it! He would hug him tight, hum in his ear, offer one of his son's toys as a stress toy, even makes him hot drinks to calm down...! Until Flippy is back, the veteran ain't leaving his sight.

Disco Bear. That's a tough one but I think he would use the element of surprise! When he sees Fliqpy a little too late to stop the transformation, he would dip him and smooch him until he's so red, he's purple! Maybe also dance with him or grab an emergency super soaker XD Seriously though just have a water gun before leaving the house every day.

Again, no one asked for this, but I needed to write this man, this ship is my life and blood and I wanna cradle it and make it a home cooked meal. (that's my love language. If I love you, I will fucking make you a home made meal from my heart. I'm a wizard with chicken noodle soup)

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

A Canary's Tweets

(Bolded are tweets that weren't already included in the fic)

Spoilers for the fic. Obviously.

~~~~~

OliverQueenOfficial: Why does that one Gotham villain go by Canary? Black Canary already exists.

TheBetterCanary: if youre gonna vague tweet maybe dont put my name in it

TheBetterCanary: but anyways someone else named me that and it stuck before i could think of something to change it to

ScareCrane:… @/RiddleMeThis she’s dissing you

RiddleMeThis: LISTEN UP. IT WAS THEMATIC. DON’T ANY OF YOU KNOW ANYTHING OF DRAMA? EVER HEAR ABOUT CANARIES IN COAL MINES? FUCK ALL OF YOU AND YOUR UNCULTURED, UNEDUCATED ASSES. NOT TO MENTION IT WAS MAKING FUN OF THE BIRD THEME ALL THE VIGILANTES HER AGE SEEM TO HAVE. (1/14)

TheBetterCanary: @/ScareCrane why would you do that you knew he was going to do this

ScareCrane: Joker just broke out so Arkham is boring… needed to entertain myself somehow

TheBetterCanary: fuck you im not visiting this weekend

OliverQueenOfficial: Wow do I regret asking. I didn’t need all this family drama in my comments.

~

TheBetterCanary: @/Yummmmmm enemies to lovers 180k with me

Yummmmmm: I hate you

TheBetterCanary: and so it begins

~

TheBetterCanary: gonna lace a cross with kryptonite i think that would be so funny

TheBetterCanary: the christians would so cancel superman if he had to shy away from a cross

Yummmmmm: Isn’t he already canceled because he’s Jewish

Supes: Please stop reminding them.

~

TheBetterCanary: @/Yummmmmm stop hacking into my twitter to unblock nightwing he keeps liking my tweets hating on him *liked by Daylightwing*

TheBetterCanary: you guys think youre so funny *liked by Daylightwing*

~

Gothamlite: Red Robin and Nightwing really said I will hack Canary’s twitter but not to figure out her location, no we must mildly inconvenience her by unblocking Nightwing.

TheBetterCanary: to be fair the unblocking nightwing thing is far more annoying to me *Liked by Daylightwing*

TheBetterCanary: motherfucker

~

TheBetterCanary: where are you guys @/ScareCrane @/RiddleMeThis

ScareCrane: Arkham…

TheBetterCanary: leave i want to talk to you

RiddleMeThis: We can’t just leave.

TheBetterCanary: yeah you can all you gotta do is get out

RiddleMeThis: It’s not that easy for us.

TheBetterCanary: oh right

TheBetterCanary: want me to help you guys out

ScareCrane: Yes please

~

ArkhamStaffHateClub: and, in today’s news, the day canary is spotted walking into arkham is the same day there was a breakout

TheBetterCanary: i have no clue why they even let me in anymore

Gothamlite: @/GCPDNews @/Batman7 @/Oracle @/Yummmmmm

TheBetterCanary: hey youre nineteen right

Gothamlite: Yes?

TheBetterCanary: fair game

~

TheBetterCanary: tim drake 🤝 red robin throwing coffee cups in random trash cans so their families don't know how much they’re drinking

Yummmmmm: Snitch

~

ScareCrane: Well, if nothing else, giving Canary therapy has been interesting…

SpoilerAlert: did you learn anything

ScareCrane: I confirmed that she’s a pathological liar…

~

TheBetterCanary: @/BrucieWayne give me a hundred million dollars and ill stop doing crime

BrucieWayne: Done.

TheBetterCanary: i take it back five hundred million

BrucieWayne: Sure.

TheBetterCanary: a billion

BrucieWayne: Alright.

TheBetterCanary: what the fuck

~

NightwingsAss9384: does anyone know why nightwing and canary hate each other?

ScareCrane: She stabbed Batman once on accident and somehow got away with blaming it on him

Daylightwing: She refuses to let B adopt her.

RiddleMeThis: They think it’s funny when their stans fight.

SignalOfficial: They said ‘I’m the only flippy bitch allowed in New Jersey’ and have been fighting ever since

Yummmmmm: He has to or else Robin will get jealous because he’s the only stabby sibling allowed

Oracle: They’re fighting over who gets to change their name to ‘The Dodo’ first.

DeadHood: Nightwing is jealous that Canary was the first one of us to think to have a full-on bird mask.

TheBetterCanary: every time i go into the batfam tag to try and avoid them all i see is his fancams

SpoilerAlert: they’re both convinced that they’re the hottest bachelor/bachelorette in gotham

NightwingsAss9384: im beginning to think no ones going to tell me.

BlackBat: :)

~

RiddleMeThis: I can’t believe Spoiler likes me more than my own daughter.

SpoilerAlert: i just think you’re better than cluemaster was, i don’t like you

ScareCrane: To be fair he didnt say you had to like him… just that you liked him more than Canary

ScareCrane: Anyways, what did you do @/TheBetterCanary

TheBetterCanary: hes just being dramatic because i solved one of his riddles too quickly

RiddleMeThis: IT IS COMMON ETIQUETTE TO LET SOMEONE FINISH TALKING BEFORE YOU ANSWER THEM.

~

TheBetterCanary: beat the shit out of a joker stan today so i think my life is going pretty good

SpoilerAlert: 👨🦯👨🦯

Daylightwing: As You Should.

Oracle: Oh dear, seems like I’ve gone blind now, too.

Batman7: As long as no one died...

DeadHood: Not as good as beating the shit out of the real thing, but still pretty good.

BlackBat: :D

TheOneTrueRobin: Good for her.

~

TheBetterCanary: we all know that there is a tier list of rogue stans

TheBetterCanary: like poison ivy and mr freeze stans are all just leftists that want a healthy world and for people to not die because theyre poor

TheBetterCanary: harley quinn stans want her to achieve personal growth and thats respectable i guess

TheBetterCanary: then theres my stans and thats just because half of them arent even aware im a villain they just think im some influencer thats very committed to a bit and the other half are just horny which is fair i guess

TheBetterCanary: then theres every other stan right

TheBetterCanary: and of course at the bottom are joker stans because theyre nazis

Joker: WHAT

TheBetterCanary: did you not know

Joker: GIVE ME A MINUTE

TheBetterCanary: wait no dm me where you are i want to punch a couple of them too

~

BlackGatePrison: We have made this account to kindly ask Canary to stop helping Yakuza members break out of prison.

TheBetterCanary: no their restaurants make good food

~

TheBetterCanary: in case you were wondering rogues do in fact reuse a lot of their speeches

TheBetterCanary: especially @/RiddleMeThis he reuses the same like five riddles over and over again

RiddleMeThis: Why would you expose your own father like this?

TheBetterCanary: im sick of those riddles get new ones you unoriginal fuck

~

TheBetterCanary: you just lost the game

RiddleMeThis: FUCK YOU.

~

Supes: Why are Rogues… like that?

TheBetterCanary: mental illness

Supes: I see.

~

GotHam: Does anyone know Canary’s tragic backstory?

TheBetterCanary: i met a parisian once

DeadHood: Know what? I think she should be allowed to commit crimes. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

TheBetterCanary: thanks for offering support during these trying times

~

TheBetterCanary: friendly reminder that i can and have benched batman so fucking with me is a bad idea

RiddleMeThis: Bullshit.

TheBetterCanary: meet me at the park ill prove it

TheBetterCanary: @/Batman7 get the stick out of your ass and get over here itll be fun

GothamGazette: Canary can, in fact, bench Batman. See the attached article for how they discovered this fact and how their respective friends and family reacted.

~

TheBetterCanary: calling him the riddler implies that there are other riddlers that are less important therefore it is stupid and i refuse to say the the part aloud

RiddleMeThis: Someone got onto you about your grammar again, didn’t they?

TheBetterCanary: you dont get to be condescending until you win against the bats even once

~

RedRobinsCape: red robin gives off so much Bi Wife Energy it’s insane

Yummmmmm: What do you mean bi wife energy, Red Robin IS bi

TheOneTrueRobin: This is not your private account.

Yummmmmm: Fuck

~

GothamTimes: We are pleased to announce that Robin has officially come out as bisexual!

Yummmmmm: Hate to tell you this @/GothamTimes but you forgot part of my name

TheOneTrueRobin: No. I stole the bisexuality from you when you became Red Robin.

TheBetterCanary: hold up guys maybe they just think that all of the robins are bi

DeadHood: Being bi is actually a little-known prerequisite for being Robin.

SpoilerAlert: roBIn

Daylightwing: @/TheBetterCanary Youre bi right?

TheBetterCanary: all these years avoiding being adopted by batman and its my sexuality that screwed me over

~

TheBetterCanary: why go to a professional doctor who spent years getting their degree when you can get fixed up by a guy named brett in his mothers garage

~

Yummmmmm: @/TheBetterCanary If you could do one crime without consequences what would you do

TheBetterCanary: i do that anyways

TheBetterCanary: but also id beat up the guy who came up with trickle down economics

Yummmmmm: Ronald Reagan is already dead

TheBetterCanary: i could be digging up corpses to beat them up in my spare time you dont know me

~

GothamGazette: And, for the fourth year in a row, Canary has been nominated as the city’s favorite Rogue! See the attached article for the other rankings.

TheBetterCanary: further proof that im the hottest rogue in gotham

DeadHood: Bullshit.

Catwomnyan: Not at all.

PoisonIvy: No❤️

RiddleMeThis: I never should have helped her. I used to win every year and this is the thanks I get.

Penguin: Don’t feel bad, I’m pretty sure she rigs it

TheBetterCanary: please if i rigged it id set it up so i would win by exactly one point

ScareCrane: Someone’s just mad that they got last place

Penguin: I got placed lower than Joker, of course I’m mad

TheBetterCanary: its because youre boring hope that helps

~

TheBetterCanary: just saw catwoman make out with batman to get out of jail so here is my formal application to be red robins fuck buddy

Yummmmmm: Why me

TheBetterCanary: all the other bats around my age are way out of my league so youre my last resort

SpoilerAlert: ouch™ sucks to suck red

BlackBat: XD

SignalOfficial: I mean… she’s not wrong

Yummmmmm: You’re all dead to me

~

TheBetterCanary: one day robin will get a cat and name it batcat and it will completely ruin the batfamily ship and pet tags

TheOneTrueRobin: @/Batman7 Father…

~

TheBetterCanary: everyone thinks i know things because im smart but a lot of the time people just accidentally tell me things

TheBetterCanary: the reason i found out about the league was that one of their members saw i was asian and just assumed i was one of them and no one realized i was just some random person until like three weeks in

BernieDowd: the league?

TheBetterCanary: dont worry about it

TheBetterCanary: wait youre that conspiracy theorist actually do worry about it i would love to know what you think im talking about

~

SpoilerAlert: canary totally has a knife kink

TheBetterCanary: what the fuck

SpoilerAlert: why else would you use knives almost exclusively

TheBetterCanary: because theyre quiet

TheBetterCanary: and stabby

SpoilerAlert: you’re so right i’m so sorry

~

GothamGazette: Riddler and Canary’s vendetta against escape rooms! See the attached photo and article!

TheBetterCanary: @/ScareCrane look mom were on tv

ScareCrane: Very proud of you sweetie

MetropolisIsOverrated: Did I just watch canary and riddler use a police car like it was a fucking CAB??

RiddleMeThis: You missed the perfect opportunity for an 'ACAB' joke.

SignalOfficial: Damn it… can’t believe you’re out of custody already

TheBetterCanary: bold of you to assume we were ever in custody

~

TimDrakeWayne: Sometimes I wonder whether I’ve seen Canary at cosplay shops before and just not recognized her

TheBetterCanary: it isnt cosplay its acting

TimDrakeWayne: And where do you get your costumes

TheBetterCanary: alright everyone socialist uprising time its time to eat the rich especially this guy

TimDrakeWayne: Please don’t, I probably don’t taste good

~

TheBetterCanary: watching a furry get beat up like damn but its kinda his fault for going out in a fursuit

TheBetterCanary: i cant believe this is what im getting cancelled over and not the millions of times i helped out villains

TheBetterCanary: oh so now everyone cares about the villain thing wow i see how it is

TheBetterCanary: im a gothamite this is literally a joke about all the fursuits that the vigilantes and rogues have i dont care about actual furries damn

TheBetterCanary: twitter unverified me over this im going to commit a murder

~

TheBetterCanary: going to start calling villains i dont like by the wrong name to annoy them

TheBetterCanary: called penguin a cuckoo and he really acted like i was stigmatizing mental illness like bitch i am mental illness

TheBetterCanary: okay apparently blockbuster really misses disco he just burst into tears in front of me what do i do

TheBetterCanary: called joker jack and he freaked and tried to shoot me

TheBetterCanary: i have given up calling them the wrong names

~

TheBetterCanary: hey @/RiddleMeThis and @/ScareCrane marry each other and claim me as a dependant

ScareCrane: I mean… sure but why

TheBetterCanary: tax benefits

RiddleMeThis: You’re so right. Meet me in an hour.

Yummmmmm: I hate to be a buzzkill but, if you’re going to commit marriage fraud, maybe don’t announce it on a public platform

TheBetterCanary: maybe dont be a snitch and mind your own business damn

Yummmmmm: Your job is literally being a snitch and not minding your own business

TheBetterCanary: yeah but when i do it its in the cool sexy way

~

TheBetterCanary: props to the guy that tried to pull an updog on me the other day he definitely had some guts

TheOneTrueRobin: What is “updog”?

TheBetterCanary: oh honey i am so sorry

SpoilerAlert: nothing whats up with you

Daylightwing: Nothing wbu?

Oracle: Are we going to pretend that Canary didn’t definitely harvest organs from that guy?

SignalOfficial: Nothing much whats up with you

~

TheBetterCanary: @/TheOneTrueRobin hey i need help with a math problem can you come here

TheOneTrueRobin: I suppose so.

TheOneTrueRobin: She was setting up a sniper gun.

TheBetterCanary: to be fair theres angles involved

Batman7: @/TheOneTrueRobin You didn’t help her, correct?

Batman7: @/TheOneTrueRobin?

~ 

GothamGazette: Joker gets shot in the hand! 

Batman7: Well, at least she didn’t kill anyone, I guess.

Joker: THERE IS A FUCKING HOLE IN MY PALM.

TheBetterCanary: i was aiming for your middle finger if that makes you feel any better

Joker: YKNOW IT REALLY FUCKING DOESNT.

~

SignalOfficial: Holy shit @/TheBetterCanary do you seriously have a Nokia

TheBetterCanary: fuck off im tired of my phones breaking while i fight

TheBetterCanary: or better yet donate to a gofundme to get me a better phone

~

TheBetterCanary: the quickest way to my heart is through someone elses

Batman7: Please stop encouraging people to commit murder.

TheBetterCanary: no

~

Yummmmmm: @/TheBetterCanary Stop pulling the racism card at every minor inconvenience challenge

TheBetterCanary: is this sexism that i am experiencing

TheBetterCanary: do i sense a bit of homophobia here

TheBetterCanary: look at this ableist bitch

SignalOfficial: Honestly @/Yummmmmm you played yourself here

SpoilerAlert: gee bill how come your mom lets you have four minorities

TheBetterCanary: ive got a punchcard and if i collect five minorities i get one get out of jail free card

Oracle: @/TheBetterCanary Wait. Ableism?

TheBetterCanary: what about me screams mentally stable to you

~

TheBetterCanary: penguin feels homophobic but you didnt hear it from me

RiddleMeThis: He isn’t. Trust me.

TheBetterCanary: hey what does this mean

TheBetterCanary: ed

TheBetterCanary: ed pick up the fucking phone

~

TheBetterCanary: this is now a riddler hate account

RiddleMeThis: I was 30! And mentally ill!

TheBetterCanary: as if you arent mentally ill now

TheBetterCanary: anyways @/ScareCrane congrats on winning youve got adoption rights

ScareCrane: As happy as I am… what happened

RiddleMeThis: She found out I dated Penguin fifteen years ago.

TheBetterCanary: im never forgiving you for this

TheBetterCanary: @/RiddleMeThis did you just throw a burlap sack full of money at my window

RiddleMeThis: Depends. Is it working?

TheBetterCanary: ooooo nonsequential serial numbers my favorite

TheBetterCanary: yeah youre back in the game

ScareCrane: DAMN IT

~

TheBetterCanary: ugh why is riddler so annoying

Gothamlite: Right?

TheBetterCanary: the fuck did you just say ill kill you

~

TheBetterCanary: reading self insert fanfiction about yourself is self care actually

TheBetterCanary: im thirsting over black bat on my first page glad to see they nailed my characterization

TheBetterCanary: how did they manage to find the one trauma i dont actually have like dude you were standing five feet in front of the target and you shot straight up what

TheBetterCanary: kissed a mirror to simulate kissing myself and let me say im not as good a kisser as i was in the fic

TheBetterCanary: if im screwing me is it masturbation or clone fucking

TheBetterCanary: theyre moving in together after three months its always great to see good lesbian representation

TheBetterCanary: im taking myself on a shopping spree and honestly good for me

TheBetterCanary: haha wait a minute why are there death flags

TheBetterCanary: i missed major character death in the tags hlep

Yummmmmm: Rip

~

SpoilerAlert: happy two year anniversary to the time canary and red robin dressed up as each other for halloween and almost ruined each other’s reputation in opposite ways

TheBetterCanary: im still offended you guys think that im secretly a good person

Yummmmmm: At least they don’t think you’d turn evil at the drop of a hat

DeadHood: To be fair, out of every Rogue and Vigilante, you two are the most likely to switch sides.

TheBetterCanary: fucks that supposed to mean

Yummmmmm: Go back to angsting over Percy Jackson not being as good as it used to be or something fuck you

TheBetterCanary: harry potter and the audacity of this bitch

Yummmmmm: As if you aren’t so in the middle that most people don’t know which side you’re on half the time

TheBetterCanary: you literally died and came back dont you talk about switching sides

~

SpoilerAlert: @/TheBetterCanary how did you get verified

TheBetterCanary: threats

SpoilerAlert: oh cool thanks for the tip

~

Batman7: @/TheBetterCanary Did any of my children visit your home last night for medical assistance?

TheBetterCanary: transfer me five thousand and ill tell you

Batman7: Done.

TheBetterCanary: nice

TheBetterCanary: anyways the answer is no they did not

~

TheBetterCanary: ew nightwing is in town for thanksgiving *liked by Daylightwing*

TheBetterCanary: @/RiddleMeThis do you still have that red wig or no

RiddleMeThis: You are not convincing me to try and seduce Nightwing.

GothamGazette: Nightwing spotted getting decked by what was obviously Riddler in a red wig! See the attached article for pictures!

Daylightwing: I mean. It wasn’t THAT obvious.

~

Yummmmmm: Gotta love when all of your POC friends gang up on you try and get you to say the word

Daylightwing: What word? I don’t know any words.

TheBetterCanary: cmon red answer the question we wont tell anyone

TheOneTrueRobin: We know you want to say it.

SignalOfficial: It’s fun I’ll even say it first if it makes you feel better

Yummmmmm: @/BlackBat Help

BlackBat: @/Daylightwing @/TheBetterCanary @/TheOneTrueRobin @/SignalOfficial

TheBetterCanary: scatter

~

TheBetterCanary: sometimes i remember that theres probably a huge database where the bats keep track of and analyze every tweet we rogues make and it makes me smile

TheBetterCanary: anyways

TheBetterCanary: contrary to popular opinion there is a difference between being a slut and having a lot of sex

TheBetterCanary: nightwing is a slut that is relatively monogamous *liked by Daylightwing*

TheBetterCanary: batman has ungodly amounts of sex in the worst places imaginable but no one would ever call him a slut

TheBetterCanary: thank you for coming to my ted talk

~

TheBetterCanary: we rogues and bats need a token straight so the straights dont get mad so who is gonna take the fall for us

Yummmmmm: They can have Joker, we don’t want him

TheBetterCanary: nah i dont want to know who he would fixate on if he liked women so someone else

RiddleMeThis: The straights can have Penguin.

TheBetterCanary: no i dont want him to have straight privilege

SignalOfficial: I’ll take one for the team

TheBetterCanary: this is why youre the best

~

RiddleMeThis: Has anyone ever wondered why @/ScareCrane hasn’t used a truth serum to figure out Batman’s identity yet? Because there’s a reason.

ScareCrane: I don’t deserve this…

RiddleMeThis: @/TheBetterCanary Do you want to do the honors of telling the public or should I?

TheBetterCanary: hahahaha oh right i remember that let me

TheBetterCanary: while it compels people to tell the truth it doesnt force them to tell them the answer

TheBetterCanary: so batman just ranted about his most recent hyperfixation for five hours until red robin showed up to help

SpoilerAlert: what was he hyperfixated on at the time lmao

ScareCrane: Sprinklers…

Yummmmmm: They were practically begging me to take them to Arkham by the end

Batman7: You three didn’t like the conversation we had?

BlackBat: @/RiddleMeThis @/ScareCrane @/TheBetterCanary

RiddleMeThis: It was very enlightening.

ScareCrane: It was actually very enjoyable

TheBetterCanary: ive always wanted to know about sprinklers

BlackBat: :)

~

MarryMeCanary: So since Canary knows a lot about shipping… do you guys think she has a tumblr?

TheBetterCanary: everyone should be glad i dont the only thing keeping me from going absolutely feral is the fact that i dont want to get banned on twitter

~

TheBetterCanary: every year i say this is the last year that im going to help my fellow rogues file their taxes for extra cash and every year im a liar please pay me money

User44555511552: Are we going to talk about how Rogues are literal SERIAL KILLERS but they still file taxes??? Because that shit is weird???

TheBetterCanary: there are two things that rogues fear

TheBetterCanary: the irs and the goon union

TheBetterCanary: yes i know they should have called it the goonion its not my fault they cant name things damn stop spamming me

User44555511552: But WHY are you scared of the IRS???

Yummmmmm: Because they can’t get off with insanity pleas so, hypothetically, they might actually have to face some kind of punishment for their crimes

~

TheBetterCanary: i should have called the cps on @/Batman7 when i had the chance

~

Yummmmmm: @/TheBetterCanary What did you do to piss of Ra’s

TheBetterCanary: who

TheBetterCanary: oh wait youre talking about old man number two

Yummmmmm: Nevermind I think I figured it out

TheOneTrueRobin: Old man number two?

TheBetterCanary: he and one other guy are both way over three hundred which makes them old men and i met him second therefore hes number two

TheBetterCanary: tell him that if he wants to be old man number one then he can always kill the guy

TheOneTrueRobin: I highly doubt that it is the numbering that has irritated him.

TheOneTrueRobin: I stand corrected. He wishes for a name.

TheBetterCanary: check your dms it should be between the video of the dog wearing booties for the first time and the picture of the pig in a teapot

TheOneTrueRobin: I have located it. That is a very generic name, and likely an alias, but thank you.

~

BernieDowd: @/TheBetterCanary what do you think about people that think that the Waynes are the bats?

TheBetterCanary: honestly every argument is super flimsy

BernieDowd: what about the bruises on the Wayne men?

TheBetterCanary: have you seen the kinds of women that theyre into

TheBetterCanary: if they arent into some shit id release my actual name to the public

TheBetterCanary: lmao the wayne legal team is trying to sue me for slander

TheBetterCanary: its not slander if its true babes

~

TheBetterCanary: @/DeadHood always gets credit for being the most committed to the bit because he wears a second mask under his helmet but @/Janus manages to find every set of twins in gotham for every job without fail so really i think hes the most devoted rogue

~

RiddleMeThis: I’m starting to believe that the only reason @/TheBetterCanary is still alive is that she has so much sheer audacity that no one knows how to react.

ScareCrane: She looked Batman dead in the eye during a lecture and said “And what’re you going to do if I do it again? Kill me? Didn’t think so”... so, yeah, that’s probably it

Yummmmmm: The first time I tried to fight her she asked if I had taken pole dancing lessons in preparation for using my bo

Catwomnyan: She helped me rob a store at gunpoint and then revealed to me that the gun she was using was just a prop because she had forgotten the real one at home

DeadHood: I stopped genuinely trying to catch her when I watched her give a guy sunglasses, say “You’re going to need this!”, and then light his house on fire. I asked what he did to deserve it. Apparently, he “booped her nose”.

PoisonIvy: She chugged an entire glass of poisoned wine and then asked penguin how he managed to get his hands on it because it tasted really good ❤️

Janus: She got called into court for a civil suit. I offered to be her lawyer. She refused because she had apparently been in Mock Trial in high school. She said she had failed the course, and hardly remembered anything, but was prepared to wing it. She managed to win the case.

Batman7: She once provided me with an itemized list as to why she should be allowed to commit murder. Items 1-57 and 59-101 were all “I’m hot”. Item 58 was simply “Joker”.

~

Penguin: Canary says she’s not a bitch but if someone paid her ten dollars I bet she would bark like a dog

TheBetterCanary: when have i ever said im not a bitch

~

TheBetterCanary: i want money so im now taking sponsors

Yummmmmm: That’s not going to work, no one wants to sponsor a rogue

TheBetterCanary: youre right

TheBetterCanary: im now taking antisponsors where i promote your competitors so they look bad

Daylightwing: Preeeeeetty sure thats illegal

TheBetterCanary: i will ponder the legality and morality of what i am doing over a refreshing can of doctor pepper

~

TheBetterCanary: nightwing is the type of guy to make pancakes with the scrambled egg method and then cry when it doesnt work

Daylightwing: Get out of my safehouse

~

TheBetterCanary: hey @/ScareCrane can i vent to you

ScareCrane: Of course

ScareCrane: The motherfucker came out of the vents

TheBetterCanary: i literally warned you

~

TheOneTrueRobin: @/TheBetterCanary and @/SignalOfficial, please refrain from calling my mother a “MILF” from now on.

SignalOfficial: We only speak the truth

TheBetterCanary: tell her to stop being a milf if youre so concerned about it

~

TheOneTrueRobin: Canary is a lot less threatening when she dramatically whips out a contract, only to give herself a papercut and then cry for five whole minutes.

TheBetterCanary: fuck you youre paying extra

~

TheBetterCanary: i know im the number one nightwing hater and all *Liked by Daylightwing*

TheBetterCanary: but i can respect someone who regularly butchers the english language

Daylightwing: It is very dumb.

TheBetterCanary: the fact that it exists is a hate crime against me personally

SpoilerAlert: not what a hate crime is

TheBetterCanary: oh yeah white girl tell me all about hate crimes id love to hear your take

SpoilerAlert: on second thought you’re good

TheBetterCanary: thats what i fucking thought

~

SignalOfficial: @/TheBetterCanary What is this shit are you fucking serious oh my god

TheBetterCanary: youre going to have to be more specific than that but im going to go off on a limb here and say probably not

SignalOfficial: Why is there a bird in Scarecrow’s cell

TheBetterCanary: oh that

SignalOfficial: Don’t “oh that” me what the fuck is this

TheBetterCanary: do i really have to spell it out for you

TheBetterCanary: thats not just any type of bird its a crane and it turns out the local zookeepers have a pretty dark sense of humor

SignalOfficial: Fuck

TheOneTrueRobin: @/Batman7 Father…

Batman7: No.

TheOneTrueRobin: Where is your Christmas spirit?

Batman7: You are Muslim. I am Jewish.

TheBetterCanary: aw @/TheOneTrueRobin if you join my side ill let you keep the bird

TheOneTrueRobin: I will consider the offer and get back to you within five to six business days.

Batman7: @/TheOneTrueRobin Fine. You can keep Jonathan the Crane, but he is not allowed in the cave.

TheOneTrueRobin: @/Batman7 I agree to your terms. @/TheBetterCanary I regret to inform you that I must decline your offer.

TheBetterCanary: @/TheOneTrueRobin happy holidays kid dont say i never do anything for you

Batman7: Damn it.

~

TheBetterCanary: best idea for a prank is to give your enemies a completely normal shirt for christmas and watch them suffer as they try to figure out what you did to it

Penguin: Maybe don’t post your plans on a public platform

TheBetterCanary: that shirt looks great on you

TheBetterCanary: part two of the prank is to say that its fine in front of them so they put it on to spite you and then get chicken pox

~

TheBetterCanary: sometimes i forget how starved shippers are for content and then i see someone shipping me with robin because i didnt kill him when i could have and im like oh yeah right

~

GothamGazette: DNA found on a headless body in Park Row confuses scientists!

SpoilerAlert: no head *breaks skateboard*

Batman7: Someone is dead.

TheBetterCanary: it was a skateboard breaking of mourning

~

France24: Hawkmoth was just found dead in his cell!

TheRealLadybug: @/ChatonNoir told you ed would follow through you owe me a dollar

ChatonNoir: Wild

ChatonNoir: Wait when did he kill him we just saw him yesterday

TheRealLadybug: how about we chalk it up to the power of love hahaha

TheLadyBlog: LADYBUG YOU’RE ALIVE?!

TheRealLadybug: nah it turns out that hell has really good wifi

~

TheBetterCanary: @/Penguin youre not a girlboss youre a boyemployee

SignalOfficial: @/Staff I am begging you guys to just ban her already

~

Batman: okay my fellow gothamites were going to have a purge kind of situation in a couple of days to see if it actually reduces crime throughout the rest of the year feel free to commit crimes none of us bats will arrest you i promise

Batman7: Canary. Please stop. I said I was sorry.

Batman: shut up youre probably balding

Yummmmmm: What did he do

Batman: got me banned so now i have to use this account

Yummmmmm: I’ll unban you

Batman: okay but im not taking back the tweets

~

TheBetterCanary: i hate trying on new clothes the stuff i like never fits

TheBetterCanary: im too short to be a slut

BlackBat: :(

User223584125153: Fatherless behavior

TheBetterCanary: yknow i was gonna give a proper response but then i realized i dont have to

TheBetterCanary: @/Scarecrane @/RiddleMeThis get his ass

Daylightwing: @/Batman7

TheBetterCanary: i resent that but also @/Batman7 beat him uppppp

~

TheBetterCanary: nightwing fightwing for whats rightwing *Liked by Daylightwing*

Daylightwing: Feel the need to clarify that just because I Liked this doesn’t mean I liked it.

TheBetterCanary: go crywing

~

TheBetterCanary: i live in constant shame that nothing i ever say will ever be as funny as two face when he called bruce wayne a dumb slut on live tv

~

TheBetterCanary: it looks like some dumbass has decided to kidnap alfred pennyworth so its time to take bets

RiddleMeThis: Oh! $50 says Pennyworth kills them!

TheBetterCanary: cheap and lame but fine

Yummmmmm: Seven hundred says we’ll get there in time

TheBetterCanary: lmao alright

Catwomnyan: Exactly 180 on Bruce Wayne finally snapping and going on a rampage.

TheBetterCanary: nice nice id pay to see that

Penguin: The Wayne luck is going to kick in and he’s going to get out without even trying

TheBetterCanary: fuck you you arent allowed to play

TheBetterCanary: wait how much are you betting

Penguin: 1k

TheBetterCanary: welcome to the game

DeadHood: 15 cents says I’ll get to them first and put a bullet in their head.

TheBetterCanary: and i thought ed was cheap but whatever good luck with that

TheBetterCanary: huh

TheBetterCanary: it seems that there was a secret other option where the dumbass apparently follows me and decided to let alfred go

ScareCrane: So… who wins then

TheBetterCanary: me pay up bitches

~

TheBetterCanary: if one more person asks what my body count is i swear they will be added to the number

~

TheBetterCanary: im bored im gonna start gaslighting people about things they already know now

TheBetterCanary: like what are people gonna do if i say im chinese after all these years i can just pull the racism card if they disagree this plan is foolproof

Daylightwing: But you ARE chinese.

TheBetterCanary: of course i am we all know this

~

Supes: I don’t see why Batman has such a hard time defeating the Rogues. Most of them don’t even have powers.

TheBetterCanary: yes we do

Supes: You do? What are they?

TheBetterCanary: being annoying

RiddleMeThis: Being annoying.

ScareCrane: Being annoying

Janus: Being annoying.

Joker: BEING ANNOYING

PoisonIvy: Being annoying 💖

Batman7: @/PoisonIvy You literally have powers.

Catwomnyan: Being annoying.

~

TheBetterCanary: people ask me how im so relaxed around rogues and vigilantes all the time and i just gotta say

TheBetterCanary: first of all bold of you to assume im ever relaxed

TheBetterCanary: second of all all these bitches are like one dropped ice cream away from a mental breakdown i aint scared of them

SpoilerAlert: true 😔

ScareCrane: True…

Yummmmmm: True

Penguin: Hate to agree with Canary, but true

Penguin: What the fuck

Penguin: @/TheBetterCanary did you really just attack me outside an ice cream shop to try and make me drop my ice cream cone

TheBetterCanary: wasnt me but i wish it was that sounds hilarious

Penguin: Bullshit, I saw your face

TheBetterCanary: i dont know what to tell you man maybe youve been thinking about me too much and hallucinated me or something

TheBetterCanary: i already said in the discord server that im stuck inside for the foreseeable future you dumb bitch

DeadHood: Wait a minute… the server is still active? I thought you guys said that you were deleting it because it was compromised…

PoisonIvy: 😬

~

JuliusDay: there’s a discord server? why am i not on it?

TheBetterCanary: its to make sure we dont get caught up in each others attacks no one is scared of you

JuliusDay: i’d still like to know when your attacks will be…

TheBetterCanary: lol

FiendlyFyre: Why am I not on it?

TheBetterCanary: you were dead until like a week ago let me add you back

MadAsAHatter: And me

TheBetterCanary: no

TheBetterCanary: and for the record @/Tweedlesdeeanddum you arent getting in either no one likes you wonderland bitches

Tweedlesdeeanddum: we didn’t even do anything

TheBetterCanary: fuck you

~

TheBetterCanary: i fell for the mark oh my god im a cliche fuck

SignalOfficial: TALON????

TheBetterCanary: yeah the bird mask really does something for me

TheBetterCanary: dumbass

~

TheBetterCanary: my legal team has asked me yet again to tell you guys that nothing i say here is serious and should not be used in a court of law

Yummmmmm: You have a legal team

TheBetterCanary: not really but sometimes ill tweet something incriminating and two face will break into one of my safehouses and yell at the camera

RiddleMeThis: I see we have competition @/Scarecrane.

ScareCrane: … I see… a temporary truce, then

Janus: Please. I don’t want her.

RiddleMeThis: Why not? She’s awesome.

ScareCrane: You’d be lucky to have the right to adopt her

Janus: Somehow I think I’ve made this worse for myself.

Janus: @/TheBetterCanary Help me.

TheBetterCanary: no this is peak entertainment

~

Yummmmmm: Canary is sick, I will ask her to impart some wisdom upon us

TheBetterCanary: nif e

DeadHood: She has spoken.

~

Yummmmmm: Sickness update – Canary is currently very loudly complaining about how red hair isn’t really red so I think she’ll live

~

TheBetterCanary: thought red robin was decent until he told me he thought nightwing and oracle are the best nightwing ship

Yummmmmm: They’re a classic

TheBetterCanary: so was slavery bitch nightwing is way cuter with starfire

Daylightwing: Do I get a say in this?

TheBetterCanary: no fuck off

Yummmmmm: Yeah this ain’t about you

Daylightwing: It literally is?

~

TheBetterCanary: batman and bruce wayne should date so they can combine their hoards of kids

BernieDowd: bold of you to assume that bruce isn’t already batman’s sugar daddy.

TheBetterCanary: youre so right i am so sorry

~

TheBetterCanary: that super relatable moment when you have to dismantle a system that has benefited you for years

BlackBat: :(

TheBetterCanary: at least i get to put calendar man to shame on one of his favorite days

BlackBat: :D

Batman7: What are you planning to do and how?

TheBetterCanary: like id tell you youd just stop me

SpoilerAlert: ten bucks says she’s gonna do a murder

SignalOfficial: Man, I just finished my shift, too

~

TheBetterCanary: Hey guys Im not actually Canary but shes letting me borrow her account to make a fun little announcement anonymously

TheBetterCanary: Ive compiled a list of every Court member in Gotham that @/TheBetterCanary @/107kidsncounting and I knew about along with all of the proof we could gather over a month long period

TheBetterCanary: Here you go shorturl.at/hMW27 enjoy the hitlist everyone

107kidsncounting: im going to kill you i didnt spend hours finding proof for you fuckers just to get fucking rickrolled in fucking 2022

TheBetterCanary: Okay okay sorry mom lmao here’s the actual link shorturl.at/BKOR1

~

Gothamlite: This feels like a trap. Why would Canary hurt the Court when she benefits from corrupt systems?

TheBetterCanary: well you see the thing is i enjoy this thing called being alive

~

TheOneTrueRobin: @/TheBetterCanary, @/RiddleMeThis, @/ScareCrane, and their other evil friend are all laughing maniacally. They will not stop. It has been ten minutes.

107kidsncounting: try hitting one of them

TheOneTrueRobin: They’re laughing harder now.

107kidsncounting: yea lol

TheOneTrueRobin: I should have read the username.

107kidsncounting: probably lmao tell the kids i say hi

TheOneTrueRobin: Fine.

TheOneTrueRobin: They told me to tell you “👍”.

~

TheBetterCanary: hey idiot where are you

TheBetterCanary: I got stabbed lol

TheBetterCanary: oh lol

ScareCrane: This is not a lol matter you two

TheBetterCanary: Lol

TheBetterCanary: lol

TheBetterCanary: also i knew you were still using my account get off you bitch

~

TheBetterCanary: nothing is more painful when you send your friend a meme and they tell you theyve already seen it

DeadHood: You kicked me in the dick less than five hours ago.

TheBetterCanary: it’s what it’s

Daylightwing: The one time you use proper grammar and its for THIS.

SignalOfficial: You are a menace to society

~

DeadHood: Sometimes I think about grabbing Canary by the ankles and flipping her upside down to see how many knives fall out of her clothes.

TheBetterCanary: you could just ask

DeadHood: Would you lie?

TheBetterCanary: i mean sure but youd get further away from the knives you want to know about so badly quicker if youre not actively touching me when i get them out

~

TheBetterCanary: out of gotham for the first time in ages and i hate it it feels weird where is the crime

SpoilerAlert: be the change you want to see in the world

TheBetterCanary: youre so right bestie

TheBetterCanary: alright who snitched to superman

Supes: I thought you were kidding about the cross thing.

~

TheBetterCanary: i sent a lois lane x superman fic to clark kent as an april fools joke and he was super sweet about it and said i had talent as a writer so mr kent if you see this im sorry

~

TheBetterCanary: in this thread i will give absolute proof that the bats and the waynes are the same

TheBetterCanary: bruce and batman both have an ungodly amount of kids like bruce even managed to find another kid despite all of the orphanages getting bombed this year thats some devotion

TheBetterCanary: richard and nightwing are both traitors that moved to bludhaven enough said

*Liked by Daylightwing*

TheBetterCanary: barbara gordon is oracle because they both scare me

TheBetterCanary: i will not joke about the death of jason todd his passing was a tragedy that still affects gotham to this day

TheBetterCanary: tason jodd however is totally red hood i mean who else could be that dorito shaped

TheBetterCanary: cassandra and black bat could both beat my ass and i would thank them

TheBetterCanary: timothy and red robin both have a sickly victorian boy vibe to them

TheBetterCanary: stephanie and spoiler both appreciate riddler and i can appreciate that

TheBetterCanary: duke and signal are both the token and the best of all of their families

TheBetterCanary: damian and robin both have way too many fucking pets like they could work together and form a zoo and i dont think anything would even be missing

TheBetterCanary: honorary mention to the butts match of course

~

TheBetterCanary: fuck i forgot that it was eds turn to cook

TheBetterCanary: @/ScareCrane please bring some mcdonalds home please

RiddleMeThis: When I found you, you regularly went dumpster diving for food.

TheBetterCanary: doesnt mean i dont have standards

~

RiddleMeThis: @/ScareCrane Remember when @/TheBetterCanary heard someone yell about how “she has a strap!” and complained about how they shouldn’t “have that stuff out in public”, only to turn around and realize it was a gun?

TheBetterCanary: im still not sorry for implying your food is worse than literal trash

~

Canaryfanclub: please i just want her to date me

TheBetterCanary: sorry i dont know if my boyfriend would like that

Canaryfanclub: YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND??????

TheBetterCanary: unfortunately his swagless charm has captivated me

~

TheBetterCanary: fuck the stupid fucking bats infected me with their even stupider fucking morals oh my god

DeadHood: Weak. I’ve been resisting for years. It took you, what, a couple of months around them to fall for their morals?

TheBetterCanary: im going to blow up your base

DeadHood: In Minecraft or in real life?

DeadHood: Fuck. It was Minecraft.

DeadHood: I spent hours making that mansion!

TheBetterCanary: trust me i know

~

TheBetterCanary: @/BrucieWayne i have your kids

BrucieWayne: What do you want for them?

TheBetterCanary: donate half a billion to arkham reforms

BrucieWayne: Oh no. I have no choice but to meet her demands.

~

TheBetterCanary: vigilantes dont want you to know this but muscles actually dont constantly look like that unless youre constantly flexing and they definitely dont show through layers of kevlar

TheBetterCanary: which means that they choose to have abs on their costumes

TheBetterCanary: i can hear the fangirls crying from here

~

TheBetterCanary: lol

Yummmmmm: Oh god what did you do

TheBetterCanary: dont worry about it

Batman7: Where is Joker?

TheBetterCanary: he tripped and fell into a pocket dimension and i cant get him out but dont worry i got him one of those gerbil water feeders and some chips so hell live

Batman7: That doesn’t sound like an accident.

TheBetterCanary: never said it was one

~~~~~

(Back to Canary Masterlist)

[picklebunbun]

Heyyy, I'm here for a request, platonic because I just think I'm extremely cute for not doing it!

Could you do a Flippy/Fliqpy with their lesbian best friend and reader who, as a very arrogant and childish but sweet and kind personality, was forcefully married to a really violent man for years by her parents because they can't accept that she likes girls

Flippy/Flipqy + comphet lesbian! Reader hcs

❁

———————༻☁︎︎✿☁︎︎༺———————

hcs or oneshot/series: headcanons

fem! reader, feminine terms, you/yours pronouns

genre: pretty angsty, but there is fluff dw

romantic/platonic?: platonic

fandom: happy tree friends

cw: domestic abvs3/viol3nc3, homophobia, mentions of bruises, misogyny which causes reader to get physically ass@ulted

(angel’s note🪽: aghh ! I’m sorry for not responding to y’all’s requests for so long,, I have to practice this thing for english since english isn’t my mother tongue, btw the scenario is last btw. This request is actually pretty sad, AND I LOVE IT !! Anyways, enough talking, here)

~~~

Flippy hc’s

at first, when he saw you, he honestly thought you were a bit egotistical. It was until he actually took the chance to meet you that he realized how sweet you were

you are such a hoy to be around, in the whole god-forsaken town he could actually be around you when he goes into a violent killing spree, and he always sees that your safe

when you said you were a lesbian he was very supportive, even asking if you had a girlfriend or a wife

though, when he asked that question you seemed to be a bit anxious

you admitted that you had a husband, but it wasn’t like you were actually in love with him, your parents just set you up with him because, well, they just don’t like the fact that you’re a lesbian

coming out to them was a hellish experience, it made it hard to actually trust anyone with your secret

don’t get me wrong, Flippy was extremely confused, like why would you marry a man if you don’t even like them? It was only when you explained to him why and what comphet was

over a period of time, he saw you patch yourself up, everytime it was something different, whether it’d be your wrist, eye or your whole neck and collarbone

it was an understatement to say that he was worried, it didn’t take long to figure out the situations you found yourself with your husband

he was extremely mad, you has to physically stop him from murdering your husband (bless your heart because I would’ve let him end the bastard in a heartbeat). You were like a little sister, you mean so much to him, it’s scary to think that one day the son of a [can’t say bad words] would go too far and you’d be 6 feet under

it’s okay though because when you finally can’t take it anymore, he’ll always have a weapon ready ⁂ (or he’ll call the police idk)

~~~

Flipqy hc’s

actually injures your husband, like not even joking

he sees him as a enemy so he’ll treat him like an enemy

stops only if you forcefully push him off, but no one can escape Flipqy, so just be prepared when he comes into your house and you see a dead corpse next to you

you are so tooth-rottenly nice, why would anyone hurt you. The only ones who would hurt you are apathetic blood-sucking psychopaths (which could be Flipqy but he actually likes you so)

your childlike personality kind of freaked him out, it was like dealing with a little kid. Flipqy wasn’t that good around kids, his system is only “kill or be killed”

maybe it was just a cover from the burden you carry on your back but it’s not like it was your fault, besides, it shouldn’t even bother him

Flipqy got some time getting used to you especially with your cockiness, he thought you were annoying at first, maybe he attempted to stab you, maybe not, idk

but when he finally trusted you, he made it his mission to protect you. Since Flipqy only knows about the war he basically saw you as a comrade, someone actually worth protecting

~~~

scenario:

italics: thinking, bold: yelling

this situation made you way nervous than you should’ve been. You were about to come out to your best friend. You were a lesbian, you have been for a long time, marrying men just didn’t appeal to you when you were younger and it definitely didn’t interest you as you got older. Your parents on the other hand didn’t like the fact that you were showing interest in other girl, they said “in order to be a proper lady, you have to marry a man”, what a joke.

You wanted to meet for coffee, just to get out of the house. It was so scary being around your husband. Some days, you don’t know if he’ll outright choke you or break a chair from how angry he gets.

“hey, [name]!”

“oh! hi flippy!!”

You ran up and hugged him, he embraced your tackled by hugging you back

“didn’t you want to talk about something? You sounded a bit nervous on the phone..”

“uhh, ya! let’s sit down”

You bit your lip, you were stressing out, obviously, Flippy wouldn’t judge but it was that 1% of doubt in your brain that made you think otherwise. You fiddled with your fingers

“did you already order for us?”

“huh? Oh! Yeah I did! I’m just great like that”

Flippy chuckled, you returned that gesture with a warm smile, but then it immediately changed into a frown

“something’s on your mind.. what is it?”

you exhaled, Flippy straightened his posture, it must’ve been something important

“I know you said that you’d never judge me… so.. there’s something I have to get off my chest. I am a lesbian, I like girls, wlw, and I knowthatitmightbewrongbutIjustcan’thelpit-“

“-woah woah calm down, the only part I caught was the fact that you were a lesbian”

“.. yes.. I am, I’m just a bit scared that you won’t accept me just because-“

“what? That’s crazy, I don’t care what sexuality you are! I’m not even the one dating you, it shouldn’t matter”

Those were the words you were you waiting to hear. You didn’t have to worry about it anymore

“so, do you have a girlfriend yet?”

~~~

[treetownconfessions]

htf tierlist(?) on what i think each of them would say if i asked them who their favorite person in town is:

giggles: "petunia because shes my girlfriend!!!!!!! duh!! ^_^"

cuddles: "toothy because hes my best friend :)"

toothy: "hngngnhgrg *drools* splendid..,.,"

petunia: "giggles :) she gets me"

lumpy: "its hard to choose!! ummm. uhh. hmgmgmn"

handy: ":/ petunia :/ :/ :/"

russell: "yargg pirate noises or whatever" (i donr like russell guys)

pop: "my infant son. who else do you think id pick. why are you asking me this."

lifty: "shifty :)"

shifty: "can i say least favorite :) because it's lifty."

flippy: "oh i dont like picking favorites..,., everyones pretty nice.. i dont think mine would make much sense anyway if i told u. haha. ahah"

fliqpy: "*shanks me with the same fervor as a homeless british man*" (its flippy)

splendid: "favorite?? pshsh. i couldnt choose. i like everyone equally!!" (he doesnt)

sniffles: "i dont think of stuff like that often. im a fan of splendid though ^_^"

nutty: "hrgrgehhehehehehehehhehernfbgw"

mime: "^_^"

disco bear: "myself ;)" (nobody likes him)

flaky: "oh i havent. thought about it so idk. lammy???"

lammy: "should i have one? i couldnt have JUST one..... maybe petunia. or giggles. :)"

.

[theradicalace]

today on “things literally no one asked me to do": i charted out my headcanons for all (most of) the htf characters interpersonal relationships. several of these have little to no basis in canon and are just based on what amuses me

this shit is damn near illegible even to me, so under the cut is a full explanation and notes on each relationship. be warned, it is VERY long

to simplify, we're gonna sort these by character

cuddles!

good god, this bitch is friends with everyone

cuddles+toothy: current romantic relationship. friends to lovers my beloved <3

cuddles+giggles: past lovers, current friends. it was like an "everyone thinks we should date, so we will... i guess?" situation that neither of them were really into

cuddles+flaky: current friends. he's a bad influence on them, they keep him from breaking his legs 90% of the time.

cuddles+lumpy: current friends. these bitches are dumb god bless.

cuddles+nutty: current dislike (one-sided). cuddles thinks this guy is SO annoying.

cuddles+lifty & shifty: current friendship. something about this unlikely friendship brings joy to my little rat brain. they're going to go spraypaint a building together 💖

cuddles+petunia: current friends.

cuddles+disco bear: currently neutral.

cuddles+handy: current friend (one-sided). cuddles thinks handy is soo so cool.

cuddles+sniffles: current friends. more of a "friend of a friend" situation (the shared friend being toothy) but they get along :]

cuddles+russell: current friends. yknow those people you just see around all the time who you aren't super close with but get along with anyway? yeah

cuddles+mime: current friends. cuddles comes to watch them perform a lot :)!

cuddles+flippy: current friends. they get along, mostly

toothy!

toothy+giggles: current friends. "isn't it weird to be friends with your boyfriends ex" not to toothy!

toothy+mime: current friends. similarly to cuddles, toothy comes to watch mime perform a lot :]

toothy+handy: current family. they're brothers in the better version of htf that exists in my heart. i know in my soul toothy is the younger brother

toothy+nutty: current friends. "we all got that one homie who ain't gonna make it"

toothy+lumpy: currently neutral. they just don't have much in common

toothy+sniffles: current friends. "c'mon man, you're gonna get some sun today whether you like it or not"

toothy+splendid: past sexual relationship. they fucked at a con once and toothy is still not sure if he dreamed it or not

toothy+shifty: past sexual relationship. a few one night stands when toothy wanted to fuck a guy who didn't give a shit about him lol

giggles!

giggles+petunia: past lovers, current friends. they were both trying to figure some stuff out. they ended up not being a match as lovers, but they're on good terms.

giggles+nutty: current friends (mutual)/dislike(one-sided). giggles has a bit of toxic mean girl in her i'm sure of it. she doesn't really like him but keeps him around because??? reasons unclear

giggles+flaky: past lovers, current friends. "the one that got away" in her eyes. is there still feelings? potentially. will she do anything about it? absolutely not.

giggles+lumpy: complicated dislike. she wants to be on better terms with him, but she's easily frustrated by his antics.

giggles+disco bear: enemy (one-sided). she is going to skin this man alive.

giggles+pop: currently neutral. she likes the pictures he posts of cub on facebook and that is the extent that they interact.

giggles+flippy: current flirting (one-sided). she thinks he's hot but he's too busy being mentally ill to notice.

giggles+lifty & shifty: current dislike (one-sided). guess getting kidnapped leaves someone a little sore?

giggles+mole: current friends. they get along, but aren't close.

giggles+sniffles: current friends. friend of a friend situation.

petunia!

petunia+handy: current lovers. voted tree town's cutest couple 5 years in a row

petunia+mole: current friends. "this is my boyfriend's boyfriend!"

petunia+disco bear: current enemy (one-sided). does anyone else hear a taser?

petunia+cuddles: current friends. this is another "friend of a friend" situation. bit of "my ex's ex" going on too.

petunia+lumpy: current friends. literally just because it's funny.

petunia+lifty & shifty: current dislike. 2 for 2 on the whole kidnapping thing.

petunia+splendid: currently neutral. she's more of a flash fan...

handy!

handy+mole: current lovers. "oh my god they were roommates"

handy+cuddles: current dislike (one-sided). thinks he's annoying as all hell.

handy+russell: past flirting, current friends. they almost had a thing going when they were younger, but russell fucked off to sea before anything came of it. they're on friendly terms now, though.

handy+giggles: current friends. "that's my girlfriends best friend." he respects her.

the mole!

mole+splendid: currently neutral (one-sided). he just thinks it's funny to fuck with him

mole+mime: current flirting. weird sort of "i hate this guy so much i could kiss him" energy.

mole+sniffles: currently neutral. somehow they ended up as coworkers.

mole+lumpy: current friends. mole is truly just here to see what sort of insane bullshit lumpy can pull off next.

nutty!

nutty+sniffles: complicated romantic relationship. there's tension there, but sniffles is too scared to say anything, and nutty is physically incapable of the introspection necessary to recognize what he's feeling

nutty+flaky: currently neutral. they tend to be too different to really end up in the same area much, but there's no hard feelings.

nutty+lifty: current sexual relationship. they're fuckbuddies i just know it.

nutty+shifty: current friends. shifty is charging this man EXORBITANT amounts of money for lsd.

splendid!

splendid+lifty & shifty: current enemies (one-sided). oh he hates these two so much. he's so pissed that he still blushes when they hit on him, too.

splendid+giggles: current flirting. damsel in distress, anyone?

splendid+mole: current enemy/rival (one-sided). "this is the biggest threat to my secret identity" *camera pans over to mole walking into a wall*

mime!

mime+nutty: current friends. aut4aut t4t friendship. i will not elaborate.

mime+petunia: current friends. they fake flirt because it's funny to them.

mime+giggles. current friends. they tend to get along

mime+shifty: complicated romantic relationship. mostly culminates in a mutual "oh for fucks sake, why HIM of all people?" they could have something really good if they would sit down and talk but mime is nonverbal and shifty is allergic to communication

russell!

russell+lifty & shifty: current dislike (one-sided). he is SO mad about the sunken treasure.

russell+giggles: current friends. he signs her environmental activism petitions. gotta protect the ocean!

lifty and shifty!

L&S+petunia, giggles, and russell: currently neutral (one-sided): these two don't give a fuuuuck lol.

lifty+shifty: current family. the brothers EVER. they care about each other but literally would never admit it, not if they were tortured or bribed (okay maybe if they were bribed)

L&S+splendid: current flirting (one-sided). make no mistake, neither of them are actually into him, but they think it's so funny to watch him get flustered. have successfully flirted their way out of him arresting them on multiple occasions.

flippy!

flippy+flaky: current lovers. they can make each other worse. oh my god they are so bad for each other. therapy immediately, both of you.

flippy+lifty & shifty: current enemies. he is hunting them for sport <3

flaky!

flaky+disco bear: currently neutral (one-sided). they're flattered by his occasional flirting, but they're not interested

flaky+lammy: current friends. these two are ALSO bad for each other good god. seek professional help.

lammy!

lammy+petunia & giggles: current friends. poker buddies!

lammy+pop: current friends. just because it's funny.

lammy+sniffles & nutty: current friends. bad influence on them <3

disco bear!

disco bear+petunia & giggles: current flirting (one-sided). *dude, she's just not into you starts playing at max volume*

disco bear+flaky: current flirting (one-sided). trans inclusive radical misogyny /j

disco bear+pop: current lovers. old man yaoi. i will not elaborate.

[whatsabriard]

Watch With Me - Hart to Hart 2x

Episode Title: What Murder?

Original Airdate: November 18, 1980

Synopsis: After witnessing a murder, Jonathan hits his head and loses his memory. As he tries to remember, he starts to suspect he may have had a mistress-- and killed her.

Why this one: Did you read that synopsis? THAT'S WHY.

Favorite Quote: "It isn't every day that a man gets to go to bed with a total stranger who just happens to be his wife."

Keep readingWelcome to season 2.

Amazon Prime has made a mess of this season. It's all out of order. The good news is, it doesn't really matter what order you watch.

This episode enters with Jonathan driving and talking on the phone, being charming to his wife. He promises not to be late to dinner but he has a stop to make.

His stop is at the office of his friend. His friend isn't around, so Jonathan takes a peek through the telescope and sees "alpha centauri, i'd know her anywhere."

which ok guy.

but then he sees the blonde lady get herself murdered AND he sees the face of the killer. He runs to help and runs literally right into a guy on a motorcycle and goes flippy-flying through the air.

he goes ass over teakettle and the guy on the motorcyle gets some wicked, bloody road rash.

at the dinner party, Jennifer is waiting and some friends of hers are making sort of cutting remarks about him being late because they are society hags who are jealous that she taps that on the regular.

Jonathan, meanwhile, is just chilling.

Until he finds a note in his pocket that conveniently has a date and an address.

He finally shows up and Jennifer is relieved and Jonathan is acting weird. The hostess shows up make an off-color joke about Jennifer worrying he was meeting up with some luscious blonde. This triggers a memory for Jonathan, who is like "the fuck".

He's acting pretty weird but he does take a minute to flirt with his wife and tell her she's lovely.

He's a true space cadet, acting noodley in front of his friends and Jennifer is like "my guy what's up? why were you so late?"

and he can't answer cuz he doesn't know.

She asks if he's feeling ok and he says he has a headache and she's ready to leave right then.

"I'm sorry but...who are you?" DUM DUM DUUUUM - he has no memory. He doesn't know who she is. He doesn't know who he is. He doesn't know who anybody is.

Luckily, one of the other guests is a doctor and they check him out. He's got a goose egg on the back of his head.

The doctor's husband brings her medical bag and he's not creepy at all.

So not-creepy that he triggers another flashback. HE WAS THE MAN - IN THE APARTMENT - WITH THE LUSCIOUS BLONDE. But the flash is too fleeting - jonathan cannot catch the thread and it slips through his fingers.

So Jennifer takes him home and introduces him to Freeway and Max.

I love that they have this picture just there.

"Us. Nice looking couple."

Max is really weirded out by all this and actually thinks they're putting him on.

"Geez, Mrs H. Amnesia? I'm sorry Mr H especially for all those great things you ain't remembering." I NeeD A MNUTE.

Jonathan is tired and Jennifer wants to take him to bed, but she's also like "erm. you actually don't know me?"

back at the party, the doctor tells her murderous husband that Jonathan was talking about seeing a blonde woman get killed. Whomp whomp.

At the house, Jennifer is really struggling with the idea of her husband being a virtual stranger. She fumbles about jammies and toothbrushes but she is ready for him to sleep in their bed so she's not too wigged out.

Then the best thing happens. Jonathan, with no memory of who he is, decides now is the perfect time to seduce this perfect stranger who is also his wife.

"We're very happy." You remember? "Not really, but to tell you the truth, looking at you I don't see how it could be otherwise." Maybe you ought to remember to forget more often.

So anyway, they have sex. Because why not?

Next morning, they find out where he left the car. So thus begins the big mystery of finding out what happened to him.

Max wonders if he broke the skin anywhere because he found blood on his suit. Oh no.

At t he car, they realize they're right by the office of their friend (who is the murderer. his name is drew)

Jonathan has some flashbacks of the apartment building across the street but Drew is like "oh I don't know anything and I don't think amnesia is contagious".

Jonathan is still very fixated on the apartment building. He remembers there was a yellow umbrella on her balcony and he finds it with Max's binoculars.

At the door of the mystery blonde's apartment, Jonathan remembers enough to pick the lock. inside he sees a bird statue that he remembers.

He also finds some blood on the carpet. Jennifer asks him who's blood it is and he says "the woman" and she's like "how do you know?"

But they're interrupted but someone else in the apartment.

TUSSLE.

chest hair.

this guy is the blonde's brother - he can't get a hold of her.

He says she was looking for trouble - fooling around with a married guy. "Are you the rich dude that's been keeping my sister?"

OOF.

The police show up and jonathan is pretty annoying with what he knows and doesn't know, pissing off the cop. He knows the blonde won't just show up. He knows she's dead.

At home, the kids are finishing up a nice dinner on the patio, wearing complimentary outfits in blue.

Jonathan wants to know if Jennifer could ever imagine that he would cheat on her.

"I don't think so."

"How would you know?"

"I'd know."

She then asks if he thinks he knew the blonde and he literally says "In the blblical sense?" In ANY sense.

Also, there was blood on his handkerchief - does he know how it got there?

But he just doesn't remember and it starts to beat him down.

So Jennifer tells him that she loves him, and that's all he has to remember.

A the killer's house, the killer is looking through his wife's medical text books and reading up about drugs.

His wife comes in and they bicker which reveals just how bad of shape their marriage is in.

He asks that she leave the keys to her drug cabinet so she does, even though she tells him he should take just take aspirin.

she tells him that Jonathan is starting to get his memory back, which is a good sign.

She's basically lying because I was just with the Harts and he doesn't remember shit.

At the house, Jonathan is bonding with Freeway. Jennifer has to go run errands but he opts to stay home and bond with Max. While wearing his stupid little ascot.

Max reminds him about going to a basketball game recently and then tells Mr H they go back a long time, even before Jennifer.

"What about her?" he asks, even though he has already tapped that with an A++ seduction.

Max tells him that she's the best thing that ever happened to the both of them.

MAX GAVE JONATHAN AWAY AT THEIR WEDDING . I NEED ANOTHER MINUTE.

"42 points" jonathan says. He remembers the game and that Jennifer got thrown out for unsportsman like conduct. lmao.

the bad guy wants to meet Jonathan for drinks.

So they got to Mining Company. Not sure if it's Pomona Valley or Orange County but either way, they didn't actually film inside because the inside decor is nautical.

Killer Drew brings Jonathan some drugs that he urges Jonathan to take with his adult beverage. Killer drew is a bad man.

He wants to know if Jonathan remembers anything.He doesn't.

Jonathan asks Killer Drew if Jonathan was the kind of guy who had a side chick.

Killer Drew, in a flood of honesty, is like NO WAY YA'LL ARE IN SO MUCH LOVE but then he's like "i guess. I don't actually know."

Jonathan starts to zone out because of the drugs and Killer Drew is very helpful getting him into his car.

The last time I was at a mining co it was after my grandpa's funeral and it was orange county. I honestly think they're in pomona but who knows. NOBODY actually cares but me.

Anyway, Jonathan is driving all crazy because he's passing out behind the wheel.

eventually he screeches to a halt right on the edge of a cliff.

Jennifer and Max head out to look for Jonathan who has been missing for a while now.

Jonathan wakes up in his car, still having memory flashes, so he heads back to the apartment building and stops at Killer Drew's office to look through the telescope.

his memory suddenly returns and then!

Jennifer!

Killer Drew starts monologuing to Jennifer and tells her everything, including that Jonathan is dead cuz drew drugged him.

Meanwhile, Jonathan is running to the apartment much like he did that first time and yells at Max to call the coppers.

Killer Drew takes Jennifer to the roof. There's a pool up there!

He wants it to look like Jennifer is grief stricken to realize her husband is having an affair and leaps off the roof of the building.

there are some really bad stunt doubles in this fight scene.

as always, Jonathan beats the bad guy's ass and they fall into the pool

when he climbs out of the pool after the fight, he calls Jennifer Darling...which. means he has his memory back! yay!

in the closing scene, there is a lot of chest hair as the couple makes light of Jonathan's amnesia.

"maybe we should do something to arouse your memory."

they have sex again, ofc.

[erotetica]

holding a metaphorical knife to ur metaphorical throat to make u keep talking actually (hi this is marwankenzarisetc this is my main. im not threatening u out of the blue.) all of this is delicious bcc quynh . <- man who feels normal about everything just had an extremely well-adjusted emotional reaction to the mental image presented to him. tog2 is just that gif of kingston hitting jas with a kendo stick except its q&b and we all sit there and enjoy it deeply <3 OLYMPIC DARLING NILE. what i would rly enjoy is if olympic darling nile ends up joining some deeply gimmicky faction (think julia hart & the house of black) bc even tho she's just a really damn good wrestler she also loves a bit of fun.

i need you to talk most about luchador joe tho. everything else ive said up to this point has just been me burying the lucha joe lead.

are we thinking the whole nine yards flippy dippy shit beautiful mask highly perfected gear ? are we thinking rivalry with nicky while in the back nicky has this crush on this beautiful guy he hasn't seen around often and has never talked to but stares at deeply ? are we thinking joe being like dude this is getting to much why does di genova keep staring at me in the back. cant he keep it for the ring. all i know for certain is that i need (Need) joe to have tassels framing his ass and thighs

thinking abt where andy fits into all of this tho. part of me thinks she's one of those indies wrestlers who refuses to leave the indies partially on principle partially bc she way prefers her own schedule OR. she could be nile's sting. this might be getting out of hand

(x) U r coming 2 me in a constant state of drawing quynh in leather pride bullshit, which I never finish, but BY FUCK I'm starting another piece abt this. 

All I can think abt is yusuf in a mask that is also litham in that way, like, elaborate fashion editorial jewelry is influenced by the silhouette of hijab. Actually that's a lie I can also think about him freestyling at people a la Mohammed Ali, and putting cologne on his knees so headlocks are nice for both parties, and being an undefeated scamp. Lov this guy. And his assless chaps.

ANYWay I think luchador fits joe for the fast pace/style and nicky is an endurance test for him, in a way that makes their raven;s rules feud so annoying, which is already annoying bc neither of them wins more than once at a stretch. Joe hits alec-baldwin-in-the-spongebob-movie with a light bulb, he tells joe his rhymes are dumb. etc. Nicky blows him in an ER curtain-cubicle & joe is like 'oh, so you're certifiable' and writes his phone number behind nicky's ear in like, purple sharpie. (nicky: you just have a prison wallet of pastel markers on you 24/7? yusuf: what I'm hearing here is no one's ever asked you to sign anything. NARRATOR: THIS WAS TRUE)

cosigning your nile stuff. I wanna say andy has classic roots too, bc parallels?? She comes up in a trenchcoat like 'ey kid, do you want to wear studded gloves but like, for work?' and nile leaves skid marks towards the kitschiest adrenaline-junkie shit possible. 

[missymurder]

i wanna make out with yr fem noiz her hairs so cute. so flippy :) also would love to hear more abt your dmmd oc i feel like i never hear abt dmmd ocs im scared to talk abt mine

HIII sorry im replying so late!!!! I'm so happy u like my fem noiz she is The gamer girl i luv her

as for my dmmd oc..............i have so many things i want to say about her but i don't want to clog ppl's screens so im gonna stick em under a cut and pray tumblr doesnt do that thing where it just shows the whole thing anyway

(be warned it is a very, very, VERY chunky read more cause i'm just gonna ramble off how much of her story I have figured out at this point)

(TL;DR: nevaeh is born on a plane, -1 leg but +1 brain injury, she gets adopted, 20 yrs later does a DNA test, finds out shes got exactly one living relative in midorijima whos 100% a criminal)

Nevaeh time!!

Was born on a plane and subsequently chucked into a busy road upon landing, but got grabbed by a pair of local punks before anyone could hit her

fall damage gave her a bad leg injury, aka "had to cut the whole leg off" bad, as well as bonking her on the head which gave her severe memory + emotional regulation issues down the line

fast forward 20-ish years, Nevaeh (named after her papa's motorcycle, but backwards) is graduated from high school but a college dropout who's living with her dads and working part time at the local bar trying to save up some money for her own place

eating dinner w her dads when her papa mentions that some guy brought in a really nice motorcycle for repair (fancy Allmate port and everything), but wouldn't say how it got damaged and didn't ask how much it'd cost. obvs a criminal but he seemed like a calm, quiet guy so it probably wouldn't hurt to do the job, but his vibe was Off

he probably gets a felon's bike every single day so nevaeh decides to use her free day to follow her papa to work and see wtf has got him so weirded out about this guy

soon as he walks in, the vibes go bad and its like the whole place gets a little weird, but nevaeh can't shake the feeling that she knows this dude?? from somewhere?? way too old to be a high school classmate, too felon-y to be a teacher, doesn't seem like he'd hit up a bar for funsies, where tf does she know him from????

he gets his bike, pays what he has to + some extra, and leaves without getting his change back. thank god for that but now nevaeh is getting pissed off cause she KNOWS him from somewhere but like everything else, she just can't remember

her papa tells her to use the back door to cool off in the alleyway before she starts breaking stuff, but on her way out, she sees Bad Vibe dude smoking a pipe and leaning on his bike while he talks on his coil (no respect for the bike?? he really is some bad news)

AYO HE'S TALKING ABOUT ARMS SMUGGLING?? nah nevaeh can't hang w this guy he's Crazy crazy

but also she really really really wants to know how tf she knows him and if she doesn't find out she'll forget later and then she'll get more pissed off cause she forgot

fuck it we ball

"omg hey u like ur bike? my papa does great work hes like soo good at it anyways have you ever been to the Casa Flora on Yui-dori?? the high school right across the street?? prison?? i'm taking ur silence as a no just let me know when i get it right"

bad dude taps out his pipe and leaves (do criminals just not have manners now??)

maybe he has one of those familiar faces but lets be honest he looks like a personified brick wall no way he'd just be Some Guy in a crowd nevaeh KNOWS HIM

.........maybe they could b related? nevaeh knows she's adopted, he's the only non-Japanese non-white person she's seen around town besides herself and her dad, and they have similar cheekbone structure......kinda.....if you squint...........

only one way to find out: DNA TEST!!!!!! she sends her dna off to a company that checks Japan, North America, and Europe (covering all the bases here) for any relatives

good news! the test found lots of relatives! bad news! they are all dead!

the company actually has her come in and explains that she has a very very very VERY rare strain of DNA found in a teeny tiny section of North America which was home to a tribe of unnamed Native Americans who were said to be antisocial and reclusive

its most notable feature is a genetic whoopsie in melanin production that makes the eyes a bright gold color, but doesn't seem to affect much else besides maybe a higher chance of skin cancer??

unfortunately, the tribe was wiped out by a group of nationalist terrorists, and nevaeh most likely ended up in Japan because Toue's corporation swooped in to save her remaining family and bring them to Midorijima for treatment--that being said, all of them succumbed to their injuries and died within a few months

she must have gotten lost during the transportation process and was super duper lucky to have minor injuries

(obviously not what happened, but the sudden and violent destruction of an entire village doesn't just get Ignored in a world where social media exists, toue had to cover his ass somehow)

there's only one relative left whose name, age, gender, and living status are unknown, so there's a good chance that they're dead, too, but the company agrees to give Nevaeh whatever genetic information they have on this individual and hopefully she can use it to do some research on her own

its not very specific but she has a few tidbits that might help, namely that they're 42.5% Unknown Native American and 45.7% African-American (similar genetic makeup, so maybe some shared features), higher chance of being a smoker, and very likely to have a mood/personality disorder

.........hey wait a second

[majestydeerakuma]

A Warning for Captain Spaceboy fans and anyone who finds this

So... what I’m writing here isn’t really a callout but rather...a warning as well as a story from my own experience

I do not want people hunting down or hurting anyone who was involved in what I have been through

So, Captain Spaceboy fans, you all may be familiar with a user named kdccreative (a user with an icon of a man in white with a purple background)

KD...well...they aren’t what they seem to be on the surface at all

Rewind back to December 2021, KD invited me to a Spaceboy server known as Halkenna Hivemind (for those who don’t know, Spaceboy existed before OMORI and was Jami Lynne’s character under the alias Space Boyfriend with the actual character being named Halkenna Fairway)

So, I accepted the invite, though in my gut, I had a really bad feeling about KD. I even had this bad gut feeling with another user, Kenna (known as Miss Gumita or Iiyarada on Tumblr). Kenna even offered to help me with something with my characters regarding DID (as I would not like to get my info wrong whatsoever or misrepresent anyone ever)

So I accepted his offer however, he also pointed out about the fact that someone had sent me nasty asks on Tumblr. How exactly did Kenna know this? Well, as of now, I now know full well that that was indeed Kenna anonymously sending asks and calling me Ableist and Homophobic when I didn’t even do any of the sorts. I support and care for people with disabilities and people who are in the LGBTQ+ (heck, I’m in the community itself and I’m really happy to be :D)

 By the way, they called me homophobic and ableist because I was writing angst...like...have you not seen a single thing of angst in your whole life?!

Anyways, I was always uncomfortable in the server I was in. No one in the server felt like a friend and I didn’t connect at all with anyone (aside from my friends I invited into the server.). Moving on, I would vent in my own channel (which was used for venting and my own creative work) and no one even cared or even comforted me in my times of need! I felt alone and uncared for and maybe I was just selfish for wanting comfort and for being depressed and anxious anyways.

The time I did get comfort though was from Kenna...but...even when I vented my feelings and gently refused their suggestion, he then threatened to abandon me pretty much saying something along the lines of “if you don’t listen to me, then I won’t help you”. That hurt really bad...I was really hurt by that

I have even been hurt by KD themselves. Several times KD has insulted not only me but other people in the server. Anytime I joined, KD sometimes just immediately insulted me! And even when I told them to stop joking around because I felt a bit hurt by what they were saying, they didn’t stop and just replied “but I’m right”. Note: one of my friends saw the whole thing too!

KD had even said that they insult people they love. I’m sorry but that’s not normal behavior? When was the last time you insulted someone you cared and loved for and they were completely fine with you calling them something vile, disgusting and/or disrespectful? It’s just not normal behavior at all and is in fact harmful! Every time I was around KD and Kenna, I felt inferior and that I didn’t belong anywhere and that I was just horrible!

Kenna one day messaged me claiming my main OC looked like Hitler. My OC and Hitler have zero similarities. Yes, my OC has a mustache! Does Mario and Luigi get called Hitler because they have mustaches? NO! Yes, my OC wears black and red! Does Shadow the Hedgehog and FUCKING Mickey Mouse get called a Nazi because they have a black and red color scheme? NO! Yes, my OC is a commander of war and has fought in war! Does Flippy cause any similar controversy because he’s dressed as a war veteran, let alone, Does Werner Werman get called out because he’s a German solider AND DOES ANYONE WHO MAKES A NAZI CHARACTER GET CALLED OUT ON THEIR STUFF?! NO! Might I also add, NAZIS AND HITLER DID NOT WEAR BLACK AND RED! They wore either green or an ugly gray color, in fact, my OC isn’t even wearing a specific outfit from any time period or country either so why the FUCK are you saying he’s fucking Hitler, KENNA?!

Kenna even goes as far to pull a double standard and tell me “you don’t have to change it” and yet still goes “people are hurt by this and you choose to ignore it”. Not to mention, who the fuck am I hurting with my character exactly? Who? You mind fucking telling me?

I almost killed myself due to our conversation. If it weren’t for my friend, I would be dead right now.

Then KD decides to ban me from the server for several things I didn’t even fucking do and something I accidentally did that KD and I already worked out together!

KD then goes ahead and says I guilt tripped everyone! I didn’t at all, I meant every single word I said and will say! Nothing I ever say is guilt tripping and if I do come off that way, I sincerely apologize.

KD claimed me of anti-Semitic OCs with no evidence (and I already explained why my OC isn’t at all anti-Semitic)

KD claimed I made several server member uncomfortable, if I did make people uncomfortable, people would’ve said something

KD said I did excessive venting in General Chat when me and them already fixed up that mistake and we agreed on it and I never vented in General Chat again, in fact, I only did so once and without bad intentions and for that, I do apologize, it wasn’t right for me to do that and I will and did fixed my wrong...yet you still fucking bring it up into my face like I was still doing it, huh, KD

KD claimed I lied about my age! Excuse me, I’m 18 and no, I didn’t lie at all about my age! Am I socially awkward? Yes. Am I a bit sensitive? Yes. That doesn’t mean I’m younger than 18!

The last thing KD claimed me of doing was disrespecting mental illness and harmful stereotypes! I did none of the sorts! I completely respect those who have mental illness. I don’t even use stereotypes on my characters at all! If anything, it sounds like KD has never heard of angst considering every time I would bring up my creative work in discussions, it always felt like KD would belittle me. Not to mention, I am someone who has mental illness (and no, mental illness isn’t an excuse for anything, just wanted to let that out there). Not to mention, KD had no evidence what so ever, no screenshots, no images, no nothing!

After that day, I feared being abandoned by my friends for things I never did. I felt like I was a monster and that I should’ve killed myself before even speaking with KD that day. I almost drowned myself in the bathtub that day...

I don’t look for comfort or sympathy from any of this. I just wanna warn Captain Spaceboy fans that Halkenna Hivemind Discord server, iiyarada/Miss Gumita and kdccreative are NOT the people (and place in the server’s case) they are on the surface!

As for my friends who I invited into that server, they’re okay and I’m still friends with them. In fact, we still talk with each other and whatnot.

PLEASE, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, DO NOT WITCHHUNT OR HARASS ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN MENTIONED IN THIS STORY!!!

If there is anything I want people who has read this to know is, if you get a gut feeling about something, please, PLEASE, don’t ignore it!

Please, everyone, stay safe and have a wonderful day/night

[aevyk-ing]

Went back home after my third book presentation and my head started aching.

Lately, I've been quite worried about masking and thinking I have to mask no matter what if I want to be a writer who does presentations and other stuff. Like, can I unmask and be myself and still sell books?

Normally, when I mask a lot, I'm so tired the next day I can't do much. Today I'm tired and with a little headache, but I'm overall fine. Does that mean I didn't mask as much as I used to? Last year, the presentation left me needing a whole week to recover.

Anyway, I'll talk about my therapist to see what she thinks. Funny tidbits of the presentation:

-Person: Maybe you're the next J.K. Rowling!

Me: Yeah, I hope... no?

-My father asking when I'm going to write a "serious" book (I write fantasy and I consider my second book to be quite brutal, but whatever).

-Somebody asking if this book (Aury) is fluffy and calm because I was feeling that way when I wrote it (like I literally said I wrote it when we were filling boxes with our stuff in fear the house would collapse and we were evicted).

-Sorting a tote bag and it going to my mother.

-My hair doing a flippy thing but only in one side.

-Getting a commission for creating a video afterwards.

[livycheshire]

❄️~°• Arctic's heart •°~❄️

❄️~part 5~❄️

Synopsis:

After finding out that's she's pregnant, Red now sets off towards her old home even if the road is long.

Disclaimer: I do not own happy tree friends, I have made this au with the help of @thetravelerstale, I do not own Flippy, Flakey, Flipqy or Tiger general, I only gave them last names and first names for the storyline, everything else, plotline and other characters belong to me.

Warning: time skip, pov changes

~°no one's POV°~

Later that day, back at the dorm, Red and Justin sat on the couch, sitting in silence, as Red tried to process everything.

Red whimpers softly, "th-this can't be..." she says. Justin on the other hand, held her close "hey, it's going to be ok, I'm sure you'll be able to stay here-" "and what do you know you dumb dog?!" Red said, angrly, as her quills flared up.

Fortunately, Justin moved his hands away on time. As Red continued on "I should have never listened to Marie! I should have just stayed home like you suggested! But NO dumb little me decided to go with HER and now look at me!" She said through tears as she ranted, before crying more.

"this is All my fault..." she whimpered more, before she lay on the other side of the couch, and away from him.

"I-I'm so s-sorry... I can't stay here..." "Red-" "no! Justin, I'm a danger to you." Red stated as she got up.

Justin followed "Red, it's only hormones! Sure there increased tenfold by the pregnancy, but it's nothing to be scared about, besides, I can handle a few quills even if they are tough to take out." He said before sighing, already seeing Red taking out folded boxes and her suitcase.

"Here, at least let me help... it's the only thing I can do so you don't have to leave your final days here with regret." Justin says softly, making Red pause with her back towards him, before she sighs and looks down, her quills relax a bit.

"O-ok..." she says softly, nodding , before sighing softly, as Justin smiles softly and nods before he starts unfolding boxes and taping up the bottoms of the boxes. While Red focused on getting her clothes folded, and put into her suitcase.

While Justin went to get packing tape and started taping bottoms of boxes, and helped gather all of Red's stuff.

Justin sighs as he puts pictures and photos of all of their adventures in a box, "Red it doesn't have to be like this, you can live with me and mom, and not have to worry about anything, free living until the little one is born" he smiles as he tries to pick the mood up, but as he looks at Red, he falters a bit before sighing.

Red puts her clothes away, sniffling and rubbing her tears away. "What's The point of staying if I'll just be a problem, Justin? I mean,who wants to deal with a pregnant porcupine anyway?" She said while zipping up her suitcase, after her clothes were all packed. Before she looks at him.

Justin's ears droop slightly as he stares back at her.

She sighed and looked away feeling guilty. "I'm sorry Justin, but I already have my mind set..." "so this is a bittersweet goodbye then?" Justin questions before she nods"I believe so..." she looks down as they sit in silence for the rest of the time of Red packing her stuff. Not one word said. It was inevitable, and Red knew...

~°•time skip•°~

It was now night time, as Red got ready to leave.

Sighing as her and Justin packed the last of her stuff into the car she's renting, "are you sure that going back to happy tree town is the best? What if you get killed during your pregnancy?" The male dog asked as Red slammed the back door.

She looks at him with tears "I know... But Jay, but... I just... I- ugh!" She groans in frustration as she leans against the car. "Twelve weeks... Justin I'm twelve weeks pregnant by a man I, so, drunkenly met all because of Marie and her stupid friends! Just I'm 20 years old! I'm not ready to be a mother- ah!"

Her ranting was stopped, as Justin hugs her tightly and petting her head down to her lower back, ignoring the stinging of her quills sticking into his arm. "You are more than ready Red, don't you ever doubt yourself all because you aren't sure whether you're ready or not..." He says softly.

Red tears up more, and hugs him back, before crying into his chest. "I'm going to miss you so much, Justin..." She mumbles into his chest, as Justin rests his head on top of her's and sighs softly.

"I'll miss you too, quills" he says as tears well in his eyes, before he lets go, and looks at her, holding her shoulders, wiping away her tears before walking with her to the driver side door and opens it for her "Red, be careful in happy tree town... I don't want to hear that you've died..." He says.

Red looks at him and smiles softly, but sadly, "I know, but for now, this is goodbye" she says as the car engine roars to life. "But I don't like goodbyes... Only see you later." She smiles one last time, before closing the car door and drives out of the college parking lot.

Leaving behind her hopes and dreams, as she drives of to start her new life, her new future, with the small package she's carrying.

~°• few hours time skip •°~

~° Red's pov °~

After stopping at a gas station, I sigh.

"well, it's after midnight, I should probably find a place to stay at for the night. But what places- well, there might be a few motels around, so if I can find one, then I should reach happy tree town by Friday night, so it's a good thing that I didn't sell the house after mom passed away." I thought aloud.

before jumping a little at the sound of the gas pump flicking off. I sighed before getting out of the car and putting the pump up.

Getting back into the car, and diving off, I turned on the radio, listening to music as the nighttime nature, becomes a blur in my vision as the car comes up to speed.

Humming softly to the song, I started to think 'maybe... Things won't be so bad, maybe being a mother can help me be a better mother than my own? Ah but then what would happen if they have no one left? What if they don't make friends in time?'

I shake my head lightly, "no that's stupid... Don't think like that Red, stress isn't good... But even then, I hope I run into someone familiar..."

I smile slightly, as the trip home, is a long road.

[ask-pico-and-friends-99]

*The camera turns on yet again as Pico managed to calm down his best friend Flippy as a red porcupine with an orange belly and white flakes falling from her quills walks in horrified*

"I-is no one going to mention what happened to Cuddles?!"

"Hey babe, sorry... The Cursed Idol somehow found us and made me flip out... I think Pico hasn't actually seen me flip out like that before."

"No, it's not that... I just wasn't expecting it... Anyway... This is Flippy's girlfriend, Flaky."

*Backs away nervous* "P-Pico... Why is there a camera in my face? Y-you know I'm camera shy..."

"It's ok, Flaky... These guys are just my internet friends who are going to ask us dares, give us questions, and other stuff."

"A-as long as it doesn't involve us d-dying... We do that a lot already..."

"I know! Hey Pico, you should bring your other friends here and we can have a picnic or something!"

"A-as long as Pop doesn't forget about the fireworks... And flips you out..."

"Relax, babe... It won't be an issue..."

*Pico laughs*

"I'll certainly think about it, Flippy... Anyway! Thanks for joining me and peace out! Say bye guys!"

"Bye everyone! I hope to see you all soon!"

"B-bye everyone..."

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

In No Mood for Games

This fic is part of @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone’s “Aud’s Writing Challenge” aka “The Make Me Horny Challenge”. This is my second entry in this very fun, very hot challenge! Hope you enjoy this one too, Audrey! 😉

It will also cover two of my spaces on my bingo card for @anyfandomkinkbingo

Any Fandom Kink Squares Filled:

Breath Play & Hair Pulling

Pairing: Dean x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,320

Summary: Y/N has wanted him for weeks, but he's ignored her. But her timing might be right tonight.

Warnings: Smut. All Smut. Not even really PWP, there's pretty much no plot here. Dom!Deanmon. Demon!Dean being pretty savage. Dirty talk. Demeaning language. Spanking (just a bit). Fingering. Face fucking. Cumshot (facial). Hair pulling. Breath play.

A/N: Since I can’t include the hot af gif that the beautiful Audrey sent me for this challenge, I have included a gif that relates slightly to this story, namely a gif of Demon!Dean.

But the parts of the fic that directly describe the naughty gif Audrey sent will be in italics.

A/N 2: So this is the first time I've ever written Demon!Dean, and the first time I've ever written anything as dark as this. Dean is not sweet here in any way, he's all Dom!Deanmon, so be warned. Also, please be kind (you always are!) since I've never tried something quite like this before. 😬👀

Rating: 18+ Explicit. Read the warnings!

Created for @anyfandomkinkbingo

Y/N wasn't really sure how she'd ended up here, it had all happened so suddenly and so abruptly. But she definitely didn't want to be anywhere else.

She had been watching him tonight when he walked angrily down the stairs that led from the hotel rooms above. But then, she was always watching him.

The little blonde waitress he'd been screwing around with for a while had come down twenty minutes before him, obviously upset. She left The Black Spur minutes after that.

Now the man Y/N had been quietly stalking for the past two weeks was sitting at the bar and knocking back shots like they were water.

Maybe tonight was her chance.

She had no idea who he was, or why she was so drawn to him. But from the moment he and the short British guy had come in through the doors together weeks ago, she'd wanted him. Desperately.

She'd tried to get his attention a few times, but he never took the bait. She'd sidled up close to him at the bar a couple of times, she'd sent him a drink, she'd worn every low cut top and tight, tiny skirt she owned trying to entice him, but no dice.

Tonight she wore a skin tight, mostly see through white top and a short, pink, flippy skirt that twirled enticingly around the tops of her thighs.

She was determined to get him tonight. She had wet dreams about him night after night, and she felt like if she didn't fuck him, he might haunt her dreams forever.

She took the absence of the blonde waitress as a sign that now was the time to take matters a step further and try initiating an actual conversation with him.

With that as a plan, she approached him at the bar and sat down beside him. As he had every other night, he ignored her completely. She swallowed hard and barreled ahead anyway.

"Looks like you're having a rough night."

The man threw his next shot back and slammed the glass down on the bar, signaling for another. When he still ignored her, she decided to go all in; she laid her hand on his forearm.

The muscles under her hand tensed and the man slowly turned his head, finally making eye contact with her. What she saw in their forest green depths made her shiver. There was something so dark and dangerous there, so beautifully terrifying.

"Excuse me?" He asked, his deep voice intoxicating even in two words. His expression showed mostly disdain, but something in her wouldn't let her back down.

"I was just saying it looked like you were having a rough night."

The man swept his gaze up and down her body, coming back to rest on her face.

"So?" he asked.

"So," Y/N cleared her throat. "I was wondering if you wanted to talk about it."

The man looked at her for nearly a full minute, his eyes once again scanning her body, lingering over some parts, and brushing past others. It was as though he was studying her, dissecting her. It was incredibly unnerving and unbelievably hot.

Finally he licked his lips, an action that had Y/N's panties flooded again. He shook his head.

"No, I don't wanna talk. I wanna fuck."

Y/N's jaw dropped open and her stomach muscles and core muscles tightened.

He lifted his chin toward her and spoke in a nonchalant manner. "Can I fuck you?"

Y/N floundered, her mouth opening and closing several times.

He turned to face her completely and stared into her eyes so deeply, she felt like she'd already been stripped naked by him.

"I don't wanna play the game. I just wanna fuck someone. Hard. So, is that gonna be you, yes or no?"

Y/N snapped her jaw shut and nodded. Without a second's hesitation, he grabbed her hand roughly and pulled her out the door.

He walked very fast and Y/N had a hard time keeping up, but he had a vice-like grip on her wrist and she somehow knew that if she fell, he'd just drag her along behind him. So, she ran quickly, glad she'd worn a pair of pink sneakers rather than heels.

After about a block they reached an empty parking garage. He pulled her after him, towards the end of the lot, where a concrete brick wall stood.

As they reached their destination, he pulled her forward and gave her a slight shove toward the wall.

"Turn around and put your hands on the wall."

When Y/N stood slightly dazed for a moment, he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her close to him. Up close he was even more intoxicating, his scent was like a drug and she felt her head swim a little as she looked up into his perfect face.

Perfect even with the sneer that now covered it. "I've seen you, you know. Watching me, drooling over me. I know how hot you are for me." He walked her backwards until he had her pressed up against the cold stone.

He stuck his hand up under her skirt and ran his fingers over her soaked panties. "I know how badly you want me to fuck you. Like a bitch in heat." He fisted his left hand in her hair and yanked it back, causing Y/N to yelp. "So, obey, bitch."

Y/N felt the slick pooling in her panties, and all she could do was nod at him, not able to contradict a single thing he said. She did want him so desperately, she was willing to let him do whatever he wanted to her.

He released her with another small shove.

"Turn. Around." He said, each word precise.

Y/N turned and placed her palms flat on the wall, her breathing shallow and rapid. She felt him come up behind her and grab hold of her hips, slamming her back against the hard cock she could feel through her skirt and his jeans.

His lips fluttered against her neck as he whispered to her. "Are you gonna take this cock? Like a good little whore?"

Y/N whimpered and nodded.

"Say it." he demanded.

"Yes. I'll take your cock. Please." Y/N begged as she pushed her ass back against him. But he just raised her skirt easily and landed a hard slap to her ass.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, whore. Who owns you?" His palm came down again, stinging and shooting heat straight to her core.

Y/N was so desperate for him to touch her, to rub his fingers along her aching cunt, to have him fill her completely with the huge cock she could feel pressed against her, she could barely even understand what he was asking her.

But another hard slap brought enough sharp pain that Y/N was able to form an answer. "You. You own me."

"That's right. You're my good little whore, aren't you?"

Y/N nodded and he slapped the other cheek, hard and heavy. "Say, it bitch! Tell me you're my good little whore."

Y/N sucked in a breath. "I'm a good little whore." Another crack from his massive palm made her amend her words. "I mean, I'm your good little whore."

He ran both his hands over her burning ass cheeks. "That's my good slut. You will obey what I tell you, do you understand?"

Y/N nodded and then quickly answered. "Yes, I understand."

"Good."

At that he grabbed hold of her hips and pulled them back, while pressing his hand into the middle of her back, forcing her to bend, her ass sticking out.

He pushed her flimsy skirt up and merely pushed her thong aside as he drove two fingers into her. Y/N screamed out her pleasure at finally feeling him inside her. "Oh, god! Please, fuck - more, more!"

He pulled his fingers out. "Shut up, slut. You'll take what I give you and you'll take it quietly, you understand?"

Y/N nodded. "Yes, yes. I'm sorry, please?"

He kicked her feet apart and pushed three fingers into her body. "Fuck me. My little slut," he said, his voice darkly pleased. "you're dripping onto my hand. Do you know who does that? Greedy little whores."

He crooked his fingers inside her and Y/N bit down on her lip trying desperately not to scream as he pressed repeatedly on the soft spongy spot inside her.

She couldn't contain a deep, harsh moan as her orgasm overtook her. She gritted her teeth, trying hard not to scream and disobey him. But then just as she was coming down he pressed against the spot again, while his thumb circled her clit over and over and her second orgasm hit and she couldn't help the scream that issued from her throat.

His right hand came up and wrapped around her throat, strangling off the scream.

"If you can't shut up, I'll make you shut up."

She felt him line himself up at her entrance before he slammed into her so hard, she lurched forward into the wall, popping him out of her cunt.

He came up right behind her, and rammed himself back in. Bending his knees slightly, he pushed in and out of her quickly, keeping himself pressed up tight against her ass and not pulling out very far before slamming himself home, rocking her body in a continuous, hard and fast rhythm.

He wrapped his left hand further up her throat and squeezed with both hands. Y/N could feel her climax building as the lack of oxygen made dark spots begin to move around the edges of her vision.

Just as she was sure she was going to pass out, he let go and grabbed hold of her hips, pulling out and slamming into her so hard, it felt like he was ripping her apart. The harshness of his thrusts combined with the oxygen returning in a rush to her lungs and brain, gave Y/N the biggest and longest orgasm she'd ever experienced.

She screamed again, and knew she'd pay for it, but she couldn't have stopped it.

As she came down from the high, he spun her around to face him and then pushed her down on her knees. She landed hard on the concrete and felt it scrape her skin.

But she didn't even have time to gasp because the moment her knees hit the ground, he was prying open her jaw and ramming his cock down her throat.

She gagged on it again and again. But he was merciless, he held her head in both his massive hands and wouldn't let her move away.

"Maybe this will shut you up. Huh? Can't talk around my cock in your mouth, can you, bitch?"

Y/N felt the saliva and tears dripping down her cheeks as he pressed deep down the back of her throat, holding her face tight to the base of his cock. Again as her vision began to waver, he pulled out and Y/N coughed and choked as ropey strings of spit and precum kept her mouth connected to his dick.

She pulled in gulping breaths before he pushed himself back in, hitting the back of her throat again and pulling all the way out, slowly.

Y/N swallowed quickly, loving the taste of his saltiness on her tongue. He moved in and out of her mouth a half dozen more times, smoothly and slowly before he pulled out completely.

He twisted her hair in his fist again and pulled it hard, arching her neck and forcing her head back. He smacked his dick against her cheek and then tapped it against her lips.

"Open your mouth, whore. This is what you've been wanting. Take it."

He pumped his cock twice and ropes of hot cum shot across her face, falling into her mouth, where she swallowed it up quickly, licking it from her lips as he yanked her head back again while he pumped his cock with his other hand, his hips bucking, balls slapping against her chin.

With a final groan and a shudder, he let go of Y/N's hair and stepped back.

As she kneeled there, covered in his cum, still shuddering from her own incredible climax, he put his cock back in his pants and pulled them back up over his ass, which was as far as he'd undressed.

Unsure of what else to do, and already missing the fullness of his cock inside her, Y/N stood up and tried to wipe her face off with her shirt the best she could.

He started to walk away and she called out to him.

"Wait! I don't even know your name."

He walked back to her, pushing into her personal space until she was pressed up against the wall again.

His eyes sparkled bright green above her before they blinked black for just a second. Y/N gasped, already sure that it had just been a trick of the dim light of the garage.

"The name is Dean. And it's too bad I didn't pay attention to you till tonight. We could have been having weeks of fun." He sighed. "But now, I gotta leave."

He pressed his plump, soft lips against her neck for a moment before he opened his mouth and sunk his teeth into her skin hard enough that she gasped in pain and could feel a little blood trickle down, staining her white shirt.

Her inner walls clenched at the pain and pleasure his mouth was bringing her. He pulled back and grinned at her expression of ecstasy.

His voice was all gravel and wickedness. "Obviously, I picked the wrong girl to fuck at The Black Spur." With that he patted her cheek and disappeared into the darkness.

Y/N's dreams were never free of the green-eyed man named Dean, and his black-eyed sins. The heat and pleasure of him haunted her all the rest of her days.

And she wouldn't have traded a moment of it.

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