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#flame was gifted from his mom
goldenbear228 · 2 years
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A series of events with max and flame
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Poor max he just wanted cuddles (and thought flame wanted a hug [he was at school for hours] and so picked him up)
flame POV: ‘nuzzles = feel better’ reality: ‘no it tickles max’ poor max his underarms are too ticklish for his own good
Fun fact max doesn’t know what to do cuz he doesn’t wanna drop flame but he doesn’t wanna squish him ether so he don’t know lol (cuz he’s nuzzling into his underarm so if he puts his arm down he [flame] goes *squish*)
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luveline · 5 months
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i have a request for roommate!spencer where he's just miserable that no one remembered his birthday at work but when he gets home his roommate just welcomes him with the most thoughtful gift and a warm hug PLEASE
thank you for requesting! <3 fem!reader
The lights are off. The air conditioning blows a shade too cold. Spencer shrugs off his jacket and acknowledges that, despite his awful, aching day, it’s nice to be home. 
The living room is clean where it hadn’t been this morning when he left. If he had to clean it by himself, he’d die. It must’ve taken a good hour or longer, even the floor shines sparkling clean. 
“Hey?” he asks into the open air, wondering where you are. 
“Spencer!” you yelp from the kitchen, “Hey, what took you so long? It’s almost seven!” 
He sighs to himself with a great dash of self-pity. “I know. Had to stay and finish something. You cleaned?” 
“I had to! Quick, come in here, I need your help with something.” 
He doesn’t want to help, he wants to lay down in bed. Spencer wonders how a normal person, a normal boy, would feel after a day like today. He wonders if Morgan would go home and lay in bed and cry. He wonders if it could ever be possible for everyone to forget Morgan’s birthday. 
Spencer hangs his jacket on the rack and puts his bag by the shoes. He’s tempted to go to bed and pretend he hasn’t heard you, but he supposes he shouldn’t. He’d sort of been hoping you’d text him happy birthday, and but that never happened. He doesn’t think anybody in the world besides his mom knows what day it is today, and Spencer had to remind her, so. 
“Spence,” you say, your smile of a calibre he’s never witnessed, standing in front of the kitchen island with your hands behind your back, “I hope you know I’ve been waiting two whole hours for you to get back. Actually, I’ve been waiting all day, but you can’t be blamed for working. Okay. Are you ready?” 
“Am I ready? What did you want help with?” 
You step to the side, grinning, the sleeves of your nice blouse like big, soft petals around your wrists and against your thighs. “Tada!” you say, guiding his attention to the silver platter on the countertop, a chocolate cake at centre stage and stuck with candles, flames aglow. “I rushed to light them when I heard the door,” you tell him, and he can hear your breathlessness now, your excitement for him evident. “A lot of candles, you’re getting old! Too old for chocolate sprinkle. I should’ve got you something sophisticated.” 
“You got me a cake?” 
“It’s your birthday,” you say happily. “Happy birthday, Spencer. I got you some presents, too, but the cake is the best, it’s from the Leaven. How fancy is that?” 
“Will you sing?” he asks. 
He doesn’t know why he asks. He’s mostly kidding, but you smile shyly and beckon him toward you. “I’ll sing. Come stand over here.” 
You sing him happy birthday, and he blows out his candles, only ten candles altogether but enough to feel like a kid as the heat kisses his chin. 
“Okay, and I got you this,” you say, finally pulling both hands from behind your back, seemingly eager to move the focus from your performance.
It’s a bundle about as thick as an average novel. He knows it’ll be books before he opens it, because you know him, and it’s in your nature to give him your everything. 
He doesn’t look at them. He takes the package blindly and shoves it onto the counter, wrapping you in a hug so hard it makes your back click. “I’m sorry,” he says, but he doesn’t let go. You don’t make him. “Sorry, I just– I–” You’re the only one who remembered. “Thank you for the cake.” 
You hug him not quite as hard, but tight. “Hey, it’s okay. I love you, you’re my best friend ever, you can pop me like a roll of dough any day of the week.” You might be exaggerating. Spencer doesn’t know. “But especially today, you know. You can have anything you want.” 
Spencer should let go. Anything you want, you’d said. He hugs you until he’s sure you’re sick of him, your thumb pressing little circles into his shoulder, his arms tucked up under your armpits and around your back. “Thanks,” you murmur.
“What?” he asks. “For what?” 
“For such a good hug. And being a great roommate. And for not complaining about the candles.” 
“The candles are perfect.” 
You lean back in his arms. “Thank you. Now what do you want first, cake or dinner?” 
Spencer really wants another hug. “Um. Cake?” 
“Good choice, handsome.”
His cheeks are pink by the time he gets a slice, but it’s the best birthday cake he’s ever had.
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joelsgu4tar · 5 months
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JOEL MILLER FIC RECS
⇾ 18+ minors DNI, read at your own risk! ⇽
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an appreciation to all my favourite writers out there you deserve all the love <3
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Series
— Something To Fight For by @auteurdelabre | After a disastrous blind date you decide to stay away from the miserable Joel Miller forever...
— I Know Who You Are by @punkshort | A fall on patrol causes you to lose your long-term memory, forgetting the identities of your friends and loved ones. You have to learn all over again how to survive in a post-apocalyptic world, and you learn things about yourself along the way.
— The One You Need by @loliwrites | When you move into town hellbent on keeping everyone at arm’s length, your neighbour Joel finds his way into your life.
— By The Grit Of Sandpaper by @penvisions | An offhand comment from you inspires Joel to branch out and create helpful kitchen wares. And it seems everyone has been gifted one from him, except for you. It makes you rethink the casual friendship you had developed...
— I Wanna Be Your Lover by @shellshocklove | Miserable after losing your job, your friend drags you out to a club to dance away your sadness. on the dancefloor, you meet a handsome stranger, who then whisks you away into his fantasy world as his assistant for his porn career. what happens when the lines get blurred?
— If The Door Wasn't Shut by @heartpascal | months of travelling with Joel and Ellie come crashing down on you, the fear is suffocating.
— Stay In Bed by @psychedelic-ink | After your grandfather’s passing, you find yourself moving into his home in Texas. You meet the Millers; Tommy, his older brother Joel and his daughter Sarah. With time, you and Tommy become close friends and Sarah visits you often. But Joel…Joel keeps his distance.
— That's A Real Fucking Legacy by @wyn-n-tonic | When Tommy disappears in search of a better life with a promise to come back for you, his years of absence and the grief it leaves behind drives you and his brother closer together until the man you're sharing a bed and starting a family with is Joel Miller and not the one you always thought it would be.
One-Shots
— No Time To Die by @davosmymaster | The main difficulty of being Joel’s closest friend is not falling in love with him, but you still do. Those feelings are buried until you join him on a mission to trade supplies with Bill and Frank. With your life now hanging by a thread, Joel is determined to get you to safety, but the clock is ticking faster than he can run.
— White Lies by @poeticpascal | Joel would do anything for you. He does anything for you. And he makes sure you don't know a thing.
— Saying Thanks by @vivwritescrappythings | Joel is your grumpy patrol partner who doesn’t even talk to you in the streets of Jackson. But one night a man grabs your arm at the Tipsy Bison, and Joel’s decided he doesn’t like it.
— Soft & Sweet by @cavillscurls | You share your first kiss with the last man you ever expected: your older, grouchy, overly protective patrol partner, Joel Miller.
— Who We Are by @gracieheartspedro | Being stuck on the road with an older guy you've been crushing on for ages won't be so bad, right? wrong. because he's been pining after you, too. and one of you will have to give in eventually.
— Warm Me Up by @tightjeansjavi | While on patrol, you and Joel find yourselves caught in a treacherous snowstorm.
— Love In the Time Of Cordyceps by @sameheart-sameblood | When the world ends, you promise you'll never love again. Joel Miller makes that rule hard to stick to.
— Puppy Love by @absurdthirst | You always follow Joel Miller around, you've got his back. You're in love with him. Putting up with Tess's nickname of puppy dog, you don't realize that Joel feels for you until the end.
— Light The Flame by @yeollie-plz | Your mom moves the two of you back to Texas and attempts to reignite an old flame. What will happen when she learns his candle now burns for you?
— Best I Ever Had by @endlessthxxghts | Someone tries to hit on you on your night out with Joel, insulting your man in the process, and oh you don't like that. You blow off some steam in more ways than one.
— Make A Move On Me by @freelancearsonist | You've been teasing Joel every day since he started remodelling construction on your house. He finally works up the courage to do something about it - but not in the way you expect him to.
— Fire Walk by @motherofagony | A chance encounter at a motel has you crossing paths with a stranger in a blue t-shirt.
— Cry Baby by @psychedelic-ink | bodies have been dropping left and right in the most brutal ways in Jackson. As the relentless wave of deaths continues, your mind becomes increasingly restless. however, you find a sense of comfort and solace in the presence of Joel. who might be hiding secrets of his own.
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the-monkeies-girl · 3 months
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Hiii! Fan of your work (especially the Noa fics they are to die for omg). I remember you wrote something about the reader jumping in the river after a fight with Noa cuz chimps can’t swim that deep. It would be cool and funny to see a full on head cannon about that! Looking forward to all ur future works!
I'm giving the people what they want, MOM.
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Title: Waterworks. Fandom: ( Kingdom of the ) Planet of the Apes. Rating: K. ( FLUFFY with some good banter from the sunset trio BABY we need more of that. ) Pairing: Noa x Human!Reader. Words: 2.1K+ Summary: Did you know that Chimpanzees cannot swim at depths? Shallow water is good, but due to low-body fat ratio, they'd sink in deeper waters. At least you had that in your mind when you needed to get some space. ●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・
Noa paced relentlessly at the crest shoreline which was lapping white small delectations between the hardened pebbles below. His green eyes were focused on something drifting in the water, falling and rising as the river drove through the landscape with pure determination to make itself known for miles upon miles. Grumbling deep inside of his chest, he shouted nothing of sustenance and still… The floating object did not bend to his will as he so wished it would, instead, it stubbornly stayed where it was with the help of arms, waving up and down against the current as to not be taken downstream.
He hated this - this thing that only you did, knowing to your very core that it was something that sent him flying off the rails of annoyance. Noa hadn’t meant to say what he said when you had asked him his opinion on something. Looking back at it now as he ventured towards the water more fervently on all fours, only wadding until his hands and ankles were encased with water, before drifting back to the sandy embankment, he had no idea what the intended argument was about. For all the male Ape knew, it was nothing truly contentious and he happened to capture you in one of those rare moods where all you wanted to do was pick apart the aspects of his words in search of a fight.
You had only asked his opinion on a necklace that you were working on, a gift for another Ape of the clan who had the courtesy to help you get wood for the fire that was inside of your hut, something Noa often did but he was indisposed the moment you needed it, so you did what you needed to do. He gave his honest opinion. The detailing wasn’t even - that’s all that was said, and in the flurrying of the moment, he recalled you saying a few things, some in defense, some in offense. There may or may not have been some speckling from Noa’s side that just spurred the heated flames.
He brought up this other Ape - rather aggressively making accusations that were simply not true, and even though he knew them to be, he still said them anyway. ‘Maybe you should go show your new friend your… your ugly necklace’ seemed to be the nail in the coffin for you and the piece of jewelry in your hand slammed onto the work bench that you had, your legs rising and trailing off in a blaze. The entire moment left Noa remarkably slack-jawed at your reaction, even more so at the audacity at his words.
Noa was quick to follow you, refusing to yell for you as you made your way through the village and then began stripping yourself of your clothes. His eyes widened at that for a moment, lingering on the delicate nature of your skin and how it shone in the sun, but it was all torn away when you turned to look at him, your eyes so flushed with animosity before you turned back around and dipped into the water, quicker than he had wanted, knowing the water was cold and it probably came as a shock to your bare body. It didn't stop you off though - you proceeded. With each stroke, you were getting more and more out of Noa’s grasp. Unless he wanted to drown himself, there was no way to actually follow you in.
Most of the time, it was easy to brush them off, and you’d apologize to each other for the brief mis-understanding and come to some mutual agreement. That happened approximately 99.9% of the time. The other floating percentage was reserved for these very moments where Noa was left dry, and you were submerged, on your back so even his words couldn’t reach you past the barrier of water around your eardrums. This time seemed to be sparked by unintended jealousy from the Eagle Clan leader, something he ardently tried to deny feeling, but it was ultimately always there, hanging at the back of his head like an arrow had been embedded there.
“You cannot stay out there forever!”
His voice was muffled to your ears as you raised one of your hands in a simple ‘thumbs-up’ action. Noa scoffed at that, narrowing his eyes at the action as he turned towards the trees and then back forward again. He sensed Anaya and Soona before they even made an appearance, their smells eradicating to Noa as he ventured they were going to ask what was happening. Instead of letting the question float around, Noa’s fiery gaze hit Anaya first, “She is… angry! Won’t come out of water,” He growled again, bringing a fist up and then back down on the ground in intense aggravation, “She does this to me! Every time!” A lie, but it was making himself look better in front of his friends.
Anaya’s green and golden eyes caught hold of you in the water, sharing a glance with Soona before they both hooted out a small laugh at Noa’s infuriation. “What… did you say to get so mad?”
Soona floated forward towards the water, feeling it tickle at her knuckles when she called your name.
“No point, Soona, she will not come back,” Noa huffed, “Only when she is ready, not angry at Noa anymore.”
Anaya pressed onwards, “S… Seriously, what did Noa say?” His gaze flittered backwards towards you again, watching as Soona tried to bargain with you, but to no avail and she returned, defeated to stand next to the other two Apes.
Noa hesitated - it was obvious that his words were not appropriate and he acted out in a rage of unfit jealousy. He knew that Anaya and Soona would be able to recognize that and they’d end up on your side. He weighed the discomfort of lying to his friends to the absolute chaos that would ensue if he just told them what happened. Sighing, his shoulders rose and then fell in complete defeat, “Told her… Necklace was ugly.” Soona’s mouth opened at that, Anaya tilting his head, “She asked… my opinion… Told her, it was ugly. Accused her of… liking… Another.”
There was a blanketed silence between the three of them. Anaya, completely flabbergasted at Noa’s ability to say the wrong things at the wrong time, and Soona, shocked, but not as much as Anaya. She moved forward, placing a hand at the back of Noa’s head and for a moment, he thought that she was going to bring him in for a forehead grazing that said ‘I’m on your side’. Instead, all Noa got was Soona digging her fingers into the muscles of Noa’s neck, causing the larger of the two to stagger and hiss out of ache that the action caused.
“You… are so… childish!” She finally spoke, “You would not tell Ape that, why tell Echo?”
Noa grappled, “She… deserves the… truth.” He was brought to his knees by Soona’s grasp getting more aggressive, Anaya cheering her on with his arms and a few wild hoo’s and huffs coming from his mouth at the amusement of the situation.
“Not when it hurts feelings!” Soona snapped at him and released his neck. Noa faltered, falling face down onto the ground below, proceeding to roll onto his back with a groan. “Stupid Noa! Why think she wants another? Are… are you that blind to see?”
“Stupid, stupid.” Anaya responded and looked down at Noa with laughter seeping from every pore. “Now… Echo won’t come out to hear Noa's apology… and Noa has to… beg…”
Anaya fell onto his knees and crawled towards Noa with outstretched hands, “Has to beg forgiveness from Echo. Please,” He wailed his arms rather dramatically. “Forgive Noa, I am… just stupid Ape.” The voice Anaya displayed sounded nothing like Noa, but Soona found it funny and chided out a laugh.
“Will not… help you get her out,” Soona declared, Anaya nodding in agreement, “Your problem, only, Noa. Should know better. How to talk to… females.”
Anaya looked at Soona and then to Noa, “Different, very sensitive.”
Soona gasped at that, smacking Anaya’s arm with her open palm, “What is that… supposed to mean!?”
As another argument took hold between those two, Noa glanced back out at the river and watched as the water flapped against your body, causing small ripples of waves to encase around your extremities.
“(NAME)!” He hadn’t meant for that to be so loud and ripping, cradled around the edges with a primal guttural growl. Even through the thick water, you were able to hear it and it spurred you finally to roll off of your back.
“What?!” finally snapping at him, you kept your balance in the water by the swing of your legs and hands in tandem with the small current.
“Please, come back to shore,” Noa pleaded, though his voice was still carrying moments of irritation, “Cannot come get you if something happens.” Noa always knew what to say to get you to come to him and he just prayed to the highest Elders that his words were enough to get you to consider. “Please.”
“No!” Growling again, he paced towards the water at your response.
“Please?”
“Let me think about that--- No!”
Anaya spoke up, finally tumbling from the heated argument he and Soona were ranting about, “Anaya want to know about this other Ape! Are they… As handsome as Noa? As big? Good provider?”
Groaning, you floated a bit towards them and looked at Soona, the most understanding of the bunch. You were swimming now on your stomach, not wanting to come out due to the pile of your clothing sitting near Noa and the fact that you were otherwise bare in the water and Anaya and Soona would see if you veered towards them on your legs. “I’m not mad about that.”
“Is she…”
“Yes.” Soona confirmed it to Anaya before the question even got out. “Naked.”
His eyebrows raised in mild interest and the daggers that Noa flew his way sent Anaya backwards and pacing towards Soona in some hope that she’d protect him if Noa went for his neck.
“What are you mad at?” Noa inquired, a bit more soft now that he was getting more context into your unfurling anger.
“You called my necklace ugly.”
Noa groaned again, this time a bit more loud and rolled his neck, indicative to you that he was actually rolling his eyes. “That should not matter!”
“Your opinion matters to me!”
Noa fell quiet, almost deathly so as Soona and Anaya looked between you in the water, and Noa on the shore, only drifting into the shallow depths to the point where his forearms and lower legs were drowning. His green eyes, even from the distance you were holding yourself at, were vivid and bright as they bore right into your own. “What?”
“I care more about your opinion,” Now on the verge of tears, you cursed your swinging emotions and sniffled quietly, “You called my work ugly.”
Noa sat - directly into the water below him and just stared at you, the way that the water was hitting your cheeks, the way you were bobbing with buoyancy. He just wanted you to come a little bit closer, wishing desperately at this time that he had a net he could cast and catch you like a fish. Noa tilted his head at that. It would not go well, he imagined, and you would probably get your arms and legs stuck.
His mouth opened but it felt suddenly dry, and drinking the river water would only make it worse, it seemed. The admittance of what he needed to say was not something favorable to say in front of his friends. But, unless he went for it, he was going to spend the rest of the afternoon, and probably part of the evening, waiting for you to come out completely to talk to him.
“I said… that because…” His voice deepened, ratting more with a baritone than you were used to, as if what was about to say was a secret. “I did not want you to… give that other… Ape a gift…” Noa could have sworn he heard Anaya mumble a soft ‘I knew it’ as you tucked close to your mate, still encasing yourself in the water to keep your privacy.
“Why not?”
The sound that ripped out of Noa was nothing less than shocking as he stood on his feet, making a circle around like he was dancing before he quite literally glared down at you. You were doing this on purpose, there was no other reason.
“You know why.”
“Why?”
“You know why.”
As the two of you went back and forth, Soona tilted her head towards Anaya, “How long… Do you think they will do this?” Struggling his shoulders, Anaya fell back to sit and pulled Soona down with him to watch the rest of this play out.
“Do not know, but I think Echo will win.” Anaya commented haphazardly.
Soona laughed, “Why is that?”
“Noa is… a push over.”
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rottenpumpkin13 · 1 month
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Cloud's small hand wrapped around his mother's finger as he babbled. Claudia laughed, burying her nose in his soft blond hair and nuzzling him gently. "Happy first birthday," she whispered.
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Cloud’s second birthday was marked by excited squeals when he saw the brightly colored toy train his mother presented him. “Tain!” he exclaimed as Claudia set it in his lap, laughing as she pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. “Happy birthday, my darling.”
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“Cloud!” Claudia laughed on the afternoon of Cloud's third birthday, watching the excited toddler dig his fist into his chocolate birthday cake and happily grab the candle between his messy fingers. “You're not supposed to do that!”
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“Why is it raining today?” four-year-old Cloud huffed, upset as he sat by the window and watched the early August rain hammer against the glass. “I wanna go outside!”
“Think of the rain as a birthday gift!” his mother called back from the kitchen. “Now you can go out and play in the mud!”
Cloud grinned, lighting up as he leapt off the chair and bolted outside. It was going to be a good birthday indeed.
-
Claudia gifted him a small, blue backpack for his fifth birthday, perfect for his first day at the schoolhouse the following week. “I like it!” Cloud declared, slipping the backpack on.
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“Woah!” Cloud mused as he ran into the kitchen on the morning of his sixth birthday. There, a wooden sword with a red bow tied around its hilt sat waiting for him. “It's exactly like a SOLDIER’s, right mom?”
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Cloud's seventh birthday was somber as he sat alone with a small cake his mother made. None of the village kids showed up for his party.
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“I wonder what Sephiroth did on his eighth birthday,” Cloud wondered aloud as he hung the poster his mother had gifted him on his bedroom wall.
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“Hey!” Tifa waved to him as he was going back into the house after playing. Cloud blushed, self-consciously wiping away the dirt from his clothes. “H-Hey!” he called back.
Tifa smiled. “Happy birthday!” she said. “Nine is a big age!” And then she dipped back into her own house. Cloud sighed. Not big enough to join SOLDIER.
-
“Maybe everyone's just late,” his mother, ever the optimist, suggested on the evening of his tenth birthday. It was nine. Everyone was supposed to be there at six. Cloud shook his head, ripping off his party hat and looking at the cake his mother had baked with a mix of guilt and nausea.
“No, mom. They're just not coming.”
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Cloud started his eleventh birthday by measuring himself on the door frame. “Aw, man” he groaned, stepping back to see that his height had not changed from the previous year.
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Cloud spent the evening of his twelfth birthday on the water tower, looking up at the stars, wondering what it would be like to touch them, hearing the soft sounds of the piano drifting from Tifa’s room. It was the birthday he decided to stop trying to make birthdays special.
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On his thirteenth birthday, Cloud's mother gave him a suitcase. “Woah,” Cloud mused, impressed as he picked it up, weighing it for size. “Mom, are you serious?”
Claudia smiled softly. "For the journey ahead," she said, pulling him into a hug.
-
Fourteen was the age Cloud stopped wishing for material possessions for his birthdays. He wanted only three things: to finally join SOLDIER, a friend, and to take care of his mother.
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Cloud's fifteenth birthday gift was given to him early that morning, with chaos and laughter giving way into the moment his squad mates woke him up. They grabbed him out of his bed and dragged him into a cold shower. He pretended to laugh, to enjoy the seemingly harmless prank, but inside he was mortified. And now very cold.
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On his sixteenth birthday, Zack handed Cloud a cupcake with a single, flickering candle. Cloud hadn't been expecting it, but he should've figured something was up the minute Zack walked up to him with his arms behind his back, bouncing on the balls of his feet.
"What did you wish for?" Zack asked the minute Cloud blew out the flame.
Cloud huffed. “As if I'd tell you.”
“Hey!” Zack laughed, punching him playfully. “Don't forget, you can't talk to me like that anymore. I'm the adult here—eighteen trumps your sixteen!”
Cloud laughed with him, staring down at his cupcake. He wished all birthdays would be like this.
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Cloud wasn't awake for his seventeenth birthday. Hojo's calculating gaze scrutinized him through the glass of the mako tank.
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Eighteen came with a metaphorical slap to the face. "Subject approximately eighteen,” Hojo muttered, observing Cloud in his cell. Cloud's sense of time was warped. Zack was eighteen too, wasn't he?
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Cloud was strapped to a table on his nineteenth birthday. The lab was filled with the sound of his screams.
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On his twentieth birthday, Cloud watched through the mako tank as Zack was subjected to a torment familiar to him—strapped to the table, enduring agony under a knife, his screams piercing the air. Cloud couldn't do anything.
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Cloud's twenty-first birthday passed in a haze as he lay comatose. But Zack was determined. He pulled him closer in the back of the truck they had hitched a ride in. "Happy birthday, buddy,” Zack whispered, placing a soft kiss on his forehead.
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On his twenty-second birthday, Cloud stood motionless as Tifa hugged him tightly. "Happy birthday!” she said, holding enough excitement within her to last him a lifetime. Twenty-two, he kept repeating in his mind. Was he really twenty-two already?
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Cloud spent the early hours of the morning on his twenty-third birthday staring into a bathroom mirror. He traced his fingers over his face, looking at every line, every scar, his hair, his nose, everything. It was so strange. This was the age Zack was when he died.
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On his twenty-fourth birthday, Cloud sat beside the Buster Sword, tears streaming down his face. "I'm sorry," he sobbed quietly. He was now older than Zack would ever be.
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silentglassbreak · 2 months
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hi bestie is it too late to request? you said you liked writing angst, well, i love reading it 💔💔painfully unrequited love!!!!! gimme gimme
friends with benefits with (overly affectionate!!!!) Noah and reader who falls sick to her stomach head over heels in love with him. blurring the lines between sex and love.
going to a bad omens concert however long after and it’s like they’re strangers oOF rip my heart out and stomp on it idc. been listening to Novocaine on a loop all day. i’m not okay
feel to totally disregard if you’re not feeling it angel <33 thank you bby I love your writing 🥺🥺
Angst............. UGH I've been WAITING babes. My goal is to rip your heart out...fair fucking warning. MMMLOVEYOUUUUU. After Writing Notes: I'm the actual worst. I hope you don't hate it!
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: smut, heartbreak, lots and lots of angst
Can You Feel My Heart
Love languages are such a strange concept, aren't they? That seems to be a fairly new idea that someone came up with in the last decade or so?
If you like to buy love...your love language is gifting.
If you can't communicate well...your love language is affection.
If the only way you know how to show feelings is with sex...your love language is intimacy.
At what point are we allowed to call someone out for being a dick? At what point are we allowed to confront the fact that someone is skipping around the idea of commitment, and ask them to just admit what they really want?
This wasn't the first time these thoughts had danced around my head, in the wee hours of the morning, while Noah's arm laid heavy across my waist, him snoozing behind me.
Noah and I had been friends since we were seven years old. We met on the playground at the park in the center of the neighborhood of our small town in West Virginia. He told me he liked my butterfly hair clips, and I let him have the blue one. He wore it in his hair every day for three weeks.
He grew up in a broken home, only his Mom around most of his years, and even then - that relationship was...strained. So many nights he had snuck into my bedroom window, curling up next to me, tears free falling down his cheeks. We never talked about why, but it didn't take a psychic to figure it out.
He moved in with his Grandmother when he was fourteen, and even though he lived in the next town over, he still made it a point to take the city bus to me every day after school, even when he dropped out.
We were never more than twin flames, incapable of existing without each other, moral support for the other during any type of hardship. Looking back, I guess that was what built our serious dependence issues.
"I can't live without you, Y/N. I'll die if I ever lose you."
"No you won't Noah, don't be stupid."
He was stupid. As stupid as they come, because when I turned eighteen, and started college, he had paid one of his friends to drive him all the way up to Columbus to see me. He showed up at the door of my dorm, drunk and broken, blathering on about how only having been away from me for a week had killed him, and he needed to see me.
That was the first night he kissed me, and I let him.
As most people do when having grown up with someone so closely, I had developed an attachment to Noah very early on. I first recognized it when he turned twelve, and started skateboarding. He would insist on trying to teach me how, despite my undeniable clumsiness. His hands would grip my hips, his face so close to my ear, and his chest pressed to my back. He would talk in this deep voice, his puberty hitting early. I was awe-struck.
He was my best friend, sure. But he belonged to me, that's what he always said.
Even when he had girlfriends, I always came first. Dates would get cancelled for me; plans changed. Hell, he even blew off one girl whose birthday fell on the same day as mine. I was his priority. I was his person.
So when he leaned in to me, sitting on the edge of my mattress in the dorm, liquor stained-breath against my face, I just closed my eyes and let it happen.
He spent the night with me, and had to leave early. Vowing to come back, he never broke his word.
There he was the following weekend, sober this time, with snacks, DVDs, and a week’s worth of clothes. I managed to hide him in my room for four days before the dorm advisor caught him.
The second day he was there was the first time we had sex. I was a virgin, and he was not. That hurt me, sure. Not enough to deny him what was rightfully his. I belonged to Noah, body and soul. He took his time, walked me through it, and gave me the best possible experience I could expect. It hurt, and it was weird, but a sense of relief washed over me.
We had finally crossed that threshold. We had sex three times that week, until he was forced to leave.
That's when the words left his mouth.
"We need to talk."
That conversation broke something inside of me. He loved me, but he didn't love me. He was honored to have been allowed to give me something so meaningful, but he could never see me as more than his best friend. Our friendship was too important, and he wouldn't even allow himself to entertain the idea of jeopardizing that. He had made up his mind, and he couldn't have feelings for me.
It was with the heaviest heart imaginable, I sucked back my tears, painted an easy smile on my face, and held his hands in mine.
"I totally understand, Noah. No worries! We can just have fun, you know?"
And that was it. We were stuck in this sick, frozen place for the last two years. I was about to finish my Associates in Columbus, and hoped to become pre-med at Boston U, but Noah didn't know that yet. I could never figure out how to tell him.
Noah Davis was this heavy, bright flame that I was desperately afraid to extinguish. He had formed a band right after our arrangement began, and he was twenty-four hours away from leaving on their first major tour that would take him around the entire country, and then across the Atlantic to Europe.
How could I tell him that while he was gone, I was likely moving even further, and starting my life without him?
I didn't want to live without him, but he was leaving, and I couldn't sit and wait forever...
I breathed out a sigh, the light beginning to stream in the window of my one-bedroom apartment. He needed to wake up, drive home, and make sure he was ready to leave tomorrow. It was only 6AM, so I knew he'd be cranky, but I couldn't put this off any longer.
“Noah?” I breathed out his name. He groaned in response. “You’ve got to get up. You have to get ready to head home.”
"Mm, ten more minutes." I rolled my eyes, and began sliding out from underneath him.
His arm locked, and held me in place. I giggled, and saw as he turned his face, one eye cracking open. "Don't get up. It's too early."
I narrowed my eyes. "I have class at 8AM."
Noah used his strength against me, pulling my body to him and holding me tight so I couldn't get up. This only made me laugh louder.
"You don't need to get up for another hour."
"Not if I want to shower."
He sighed into the pillow. "So crazy, cause I don't think you do."
I rolled my eyes. "Dude, you've got to get home. Nick will kill us both if you're not ready in time."
"I'm not scared of her." He smirked, and I smacked his arm.
"Shut up. And get off me!"
He stuck his bottom lip out, pouting heavily.
"Not going to work. C'mon." I wriggled hard enough to break his grip, and sat up, stretching my arms over my head. He sat up as well, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
I pulled a robe over myself, turning to look at him as he scrolled through his phone, checking messages.
"Coffee?" I asked, and he threw a thumbs up at me.
I left the room, headed for the kitchen, trying to keep my breathing even. I had very little time left.
Filling the pot with water, I felt his arms wrap around me from behind, his face burying in my neck.
"I don't want to go. I'm going to miss you so much."
I leaned into the touch, taking anything I could at this point. "I know. I'll miss you more."
He scoffed. "Not a chance."
Holding me for a few more moments, he let go to head to the fridge, pulling out the bagels and cream cheese, and plopping down at the dining table. I continued my work of preparing our coffee.
"Hey, uh," I started, keeping my voice as calm as I could. "there's something I wanted to chat with you about."
I turned around, two hot mugs in my hand. He was spreading the cream on a bagel, already having prepared one for me. I sat next to him at the table.
"What's up?" He didn't look up at me.
"I told you I had been trying to decide where to start medical school?" He just nodded in response. "Well, I find out today if I got into Boston."
He halted, his eyes snapping up to me. "Boston?"
I took a sip of coffee. "They've got the best med program on the East coast-"
He cut me off. "Since when were you looking on the East coast?"
His tone was darkening. This was going to go about as well as I expected.
"Since I realized I had a chance. Noah, my GPA and scholar program gives me a real shot."
He grit his teeth, setting his bagel down. "Boston is far, Y/N."
I kept calm, setting my mug down as well. "I know."
"So, why would you want to be so far away?"
"Well, you're going far too, Noah. Your first show is in San Diego."
He sat back in his chair. "Yeah, but the last one puts me right back here in Columbus for a month before I go overseas."
I nodded. "I know. I'll still be here, then. You get back six weeks before the end of the semester."
He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You can't go to Boston."
There was a finality to his tone, and something about it made my insides flinch with irritation.
"Oh no? And if I do?"
"You can't."
I narrowed my eyes at him. "Can't? And since when do you tell me what I can and can't do?"
He rolled his eyes, standing from the table and walking over to the trash, binning the half of his bagel he didn't eat. "We can't be that far away from each other."
Lifting my eyebrows, I stood as well, crossing my arms. "And why is that, Noah?"
He leaned back against the counter. "Y/N, you know why."
"What? So you have someone to fuck whenever you want? Whenever one of your little groupies isn't around?"
His eyes popped open, then. "What?"
"You heard me." My tone was deadly, matching my stare at him.
"You really think the only reason I want you close is because of the sex?" He seemed truly stunned.
"Well, why else would you want me around?" I threw my hands up, walking back down the hallway toward my bedroom. I could hear his footfall behind me. I just continued, stepping into the closet to get dressed.
"What is that supposed to mean? I always want you around."
Rolling my eyes, I clasped my bra on and popped my head out to look at him. "Noah, I'm convenient for you. Unless you have any other valid reasons to keep coming over, I don't know why else it matters."
His jaw dropped open. "That is not true."
Pulling my shirt on, I scoffed. "Please, dude. Spare me the act, okay?"
"What act?"
I pulled my jeans on, buttoning them before stepping out to face him again. "The 'you're my person, and I can't lose you' act." I quoted myself. Something about that pissed him off, because he crossed his own arms and stared me down.
"The fuck are you getting at, Y/N?"
I shook my head, brushing past him, and walked toward the bathroom.
"Noah," I turned to look directly at him. "we've been at this for years. It's kind of old, don't you think?"
His face softened slightly. "We had an agreement."
I nodded. "You're right, we did. Just sex, for the sake of our friendship. That's what you wanted."
"I thought that's what we wanted."
Waving a hand between us, I took a step toward him. "Oh no, Noah. That's what you wanted. Not me."
He was silent, then.
"I wanted more. I always have. I thought that had become clear over the years, but I fucking guess not." I could hear my voice raising a few octaves. "You didn't give me a choice. You came in, broke that boundary, and then put it right back up again. And I stayed, just so I wouldn't lose you."
I could feel the tears beginning to well in my eyes.
His voice came out small, then, his hands now buried in his pockets.
"What do you want from me, Y/N?"
I sighed, letting one tear escape. "I want you to love me."
He pulled his hands out, stepping toward me and taking one of mine. I let him.
"I do love you!"
I stared at him, my teeth ground together. "Do you? The way I love you?"
Noah was a lot of things. He was brilliant, funny, generous, dedicated. He had the most redeeming qualities of anyone I knew.
And sure, he could be stupid. But not that stupid.
He had known how I felt about him. Of course he did. That was why I kissed him every chance I got. Why I always let him in. Why I never dated anyone else. Why I stayed all this time.
But here? In this moment? He was the biggest idiot I knew, because he dropped my hand, his eyes falling with it, and took a step backward.
"I..." He huffed out a breath, looking back up at my tear-stained face. "I can't. I'm sorry."
I averted my eyes, then. I could feel myself breaking, crumbling right before him.
"You need to leave, Noah."
I could feel he wanted to pull back to me, like a moon in orbit of a planet. Gravity. But he didn't. He just stepped back toward the doorway.
"What does this mean?" I heard his voice, but wouldn't meet his eyes.
I sniffed hard, trying like hell to keep myself upright.
"It means you go on tour. Be who you are, Noah. And I'll be who I am. Without each other."
His body shifted, but I was stone, unmoving.
"I can't lose you." I heard him let out a light, sarcastic laugh. "I'll die."
I let myself laugh at that.
"No you won't, Noah. Don't be stupid."
7 Years Later
Residency is going to kill me. I may actually die in pursuit of this God awful career I've chosen. I was three years in to a five year program, intending to finish in General Practice, but until that time, I was just an idiotic twenty-seven year-old with no life, no sleep, and no clean fucking clothes to wear.
Every resident gets exactly forty-eight hours of paid time off every three months, and I had not taken mine in over a year. I finally had taken all of my hours - six days total - off of work, and after spending the entire first day sleeping, I was due to meet with Raylene in an hour.
Ray and I met at the beginning of residency, and quickly gotten close. We managed to find an affordable apartment together within walking distance of the hospital, and spent any rare free time we had together. She was currently at her boyfriend's place, spending some much needed time with him, before we went out for the evening.
I was digging through my unfolded laundry, trying to find something not too wrinkled or stained to wear tonight. Ray had told me we were going to a concert for a band she had recently discovered, but she didn't tell me who it was. I didn't care, to be honest. Existing somewhere other than the Emergency Room or my own bed sounded heavenly.
Finally settling on a deep red cropped t-shirt, black skinny jeans, and the Vans I rarely got to wear, I straightened my hair and applied what little makeup I could. I set out of the building to the waiting vehicle downstairs, Ray practically hanging from the passenger window.
"You look so fine!"
I chuckled, shaking my head. "Sure. Like I might've slept in the last two weeks?"
She chortled back at me, leaning in her seat once I was in the car. I waved hello to her boyfriend Sean, and gazed at Ray.
"So, Tyler isn't coming."
She frowned at me. "Why not?"
I shrugged. "Said he had a case he was working on, and he really couldn't spare the time."
She rolled her eyes. "Typical lawyer. Too busy for anyone but his clients."
Tyler and I had been dating for about six months now. Maintaining a relationship while having jobs as busy as ours was difficult, but he somehow managed to work it out. He would pop in when he knew I had breaks to bring me food, or have me spend nights off at his place, massaging my neck and helping me get caught up on my favorite series. He was an honest man. A good man.
I liked him.
Right?
It's so hard to tell what's like and what's convenient when you live your life exhausted and overworked, so I didn't have a lot of time to question it.
"Bummer for him. I'm so excited to see this show!" Ray was beaming in the front seat.
"Yeah, who are we seeing, anyway?"
"A band called ERRA. They're opening for a bigger headliner, who I've heard are pretty good too."
I nodded. "I've never heard them."
"It's rock. Metal, really." Sean chimed in, and I acknowledged him silently, looking out of the window.
My mind zoned out while we drove to the House of Blues. Ray and Sean chatted idly up front, but I was just enjoying the fact that I was finally out of the house for once.
That is, until we walked into the venue. The banner poster stared at me, the photographs of the band mocking me...
Bad Omens...they were the headliner.
Memories flooded back to my brain, my insides clenching at the visions.
I hadn't spoken to him since that day...that last day in my apartment. When he left, and never looked back. I didn't even keep in touch with the rest of the guys, for fear that I would be sucked back into the maelstrom that was Noah Davis...
“Y/N?” I turned to see Ray stood behind me, noticing my reaction. “You okay?”
My mind wasn’t comprehending what I was seeing. There’s no way that was them? The last time I had heard of the band, they were one-of-four supporting bands on much larger headliners. Now, they were selling out tickets at their own tour? Seven years was a long time…but how had they gotten this popular?
I wondered this, as if I didn’t know how wildly talented those boys were. Aside from Noah, Nicky, Jolly, and Nick Folio were some of the most intelligent and creative minds I had known. They all brought something special to that band, but I would have never expected this.
Huh. Guess he could live without me after all?
Something bitter crept into the back of my throat, but I swallowed it down, staring at his photograph on the poster.
“Yeah,” I tore my eyes away for a second to look at Raylene. “sorry, I’m fine. Just didn’t realize Bad Omens was the headliner.”
She raised an eyebrow. “You’ve heard of them?”
I pulled my lips to the side. Did I want to tell her?
“Long time ago.”
I couldn’t get past how different he looked in the picture. Last time I saw Noah, his hair was halfway down his back, he was skinny, and he had the thinnest little mustache growing on his upper lip.
In these promo pictures, however, his hair was short, not even reaching his ears, he looked much more muscular, and he had no facial hair. He also had many more tattoos than I remembered. That wasn’t surprising. Noah was a tattoo addict from a very young age.
Jolly had let his hair grow and had the cutest goatee on his chin. Nicky looked almost exactly the same. And Nick, bless his heart, had grown into such a handsome guy. They all looked so grown, so serious and broody. It almost made me giggle, knowing how goofy these guys were in real life.
Noah looked the most stunningly different from the rest. Not only did his entire appearance change, but his eyes…something in them was just so much darker. That harsh flame I had once known was so dim. It almost hurt to see. Almost.
We were making our way out to the pit of the GA floor. I had decided to get myself a cocktail to take the edge off. I didn't plan to come face-to-face with him, and likely wouldn't even get the opportunity to get a good look at him period, but still...just knowing we were in the same room made my throat tighten. I washed it down with Vodka and cranberry juice, hoping the warmth of the liquor would unfreeze my nerves.
The first band, Invent Animate, was entertaining enough. Very interactive with the crowd and high-energy. I found it pleasant, but couldn't get myself to focus long enough to notice what they were singing about. I struggled to breathe, the set ending, and knowing I was one hour closer to seeing his face.
During the intermission, Ray excused herself to the restroom, and I stood with Sean, feeling dizzier as the moments passed.
"Hey, I think I'm going to step out for a second. Get some air."
He quirked an eyebrow at me. "You okay? Want me to come with?"
I shook my head. "Nah, don't want you to miss the band you guys came to see. I'll be back."
He nodded, patting me on the shoulder before I weaved in and out of the crowd. I discarded my plastic cup in a trash can before exiting out into the main lobby. I found a spot on the wall near the doors that was unoccupied, and leaned against it, letting my eyes close and my breathing even out.
When I opened my eyes, I searched the room, looking for nothing specific. I landed on the merch tables, and saw someone oddly familiar talking to the lead singer of the last band we had watched...
The liquid courage is what carried me in that direction, smiling to myself.
He stood with his hair pulled back, as usual, and was talking with his hands. Same as he always did.
"Nicky Ruffilo..." I said loud enough to hopefully catch his attention, my hands now grasping the edge of the table.
His head snapped over to look at me, his brows knit together curiously. I could tell he was putting it together.
"No fucking way..." His voice sounded the same as it always had. "Y/N?!"
My teeth flashed at him, and he circled the table to approach me, his arms pulling me into a tight hug.
"Jesus Christ, I didn't recognize you!" That was fair.
Since the last time I had seen any of the guys, I had bleached my hair a pale blonde, lost twenty-five pounds, and had grown two cup sizes. I was, for all intents and purposes, an entirely different person.
"Yeah, well I absolutely recognized you." I said as I gripped his shirt, squeezing him tight.
"How long has it been?" He asked, pulling back to look at me.
"Uh," I thought for a moment. "seven-ish years?"
Nick's eyes were in disbelief, an amazed leer on his face. "God damn, girl. I can't believe it."
I pointed to the banner above his head. "Headlining now, huh? That's amazing!"
He smiled, proudly. "Yeah, we've worked really hard. A lot's changed."
My eyes fell on Noah's face on the poster. "I can see that."
I could tell he was pondering, a question hanging on the edge of his tongue. It was the most obvious question, so I answered for him.
"He doesn't know I'm here."
He nodded, leaning an arm on the table comfortably. "Ah, okay. You didn't want him to?"
I snorted. "I didn't even know I'd be here. My friends came to see ERRA, and that's when I realized you guys were here."
"Makes sense." He had crossed his arms. "Do you want him to know?"
Contemplating this, I let my face fall to get away from his gaze. I wasn't certain how to answer that, but it seemed like the answer was clear regardless.
"No." I sighed hard. "It's probably for the best that he doesn't, right?"
I couldn't read Nick's face, if he was disappointed or relieved. He seemed to be pretty satisfied with my answer, but I could tell he had more he wished he could say.
"Fair enough." Was all he gave me, before letting out a breath. "So, you still live up here?"
I let my muscles relax for a second. "Yeah, doing a residency at Brigham right now."
"Residency? Does that mean you're a doctor?" He asked, clearly confused.
I cackled at this. "Yeah, full blown doctor. Got the little 'MD' after my name and everything."
He beamed at me. "That's so great! Congratulations!"
"Thank you, Nicky." It fell quiet between us once again, and I could hear ERRA's set beginning. "Well, I should probably-"
He spoke over me. "Yeah! Those guys put on a great show. Don't miss it!"
I gave him another hug, reveling in how warm he still felt.
Turning to walk away, I stopped, needing one last thing...
"Nick?"
His face turned back to me.
"How is he?"
I could see the sadness fall over his tan features, and I instantly regretted asking.
"He's..." He trailed off, taking in a large breath. "He's different, Y/N. I doubt you'd recognize him."
"How so?"
Something about my question almost seemed to annoy him. Odd?
"Like I said, a lot has changed. He's changed. He had to." He gestured to me. "Same way you did."
I accepted this, not wanting to press any further. "Thanks, Nick."
He pointed a finger at me. "Hey, we're going to be back here in the fall for a couple days. Don't be a stranger, okay?" I grinned at this. "I know Jolly and Folio would kill to see you."
I just nodded, turning and walking away. My eyes met with Ray's, who was standing, watching my interaction. How much had she seen? Did she hear anything?
"Hey, what are you doing? You're missing ERRA!"
Her brows were pulled up suspiciously. "Who was that?" She pointed after Nick, who had now disappeared from the merch table.
I shook my head. "Oh, that guy? He's the bassist in the headliner band."
This wasn't good enough for her, I could tell by the way she pursed her lips. "Uh-huh. And...you just decided to chat him up like old friends?"
I groaned. "Ugh, how long were you standing there?"
She put all her weight on one hip. "Long enough to see you two talking like you've known each other before. Care to explain?"
Raylene was so nosey. She came by it honestly, her father being a police detective. But still, why did this matter?
"It's not a big deal, Ray. I'll tell you later."
I pulled on her arm, trying to lead her back to the concert hall, but she stood firm, eyeing me. I sucked my teeth in frustration.
"Damn it, alright, come here."
She followed me to the doors leading outside, and we stepped into the cool air.
"Alright, look, I've known Nick since I was ten."
Her eyes jumped. "Oh? Back in West Virginia?"
I nodded. "Exactly. I had no idea their band was going to be here."
"Do you know anyone else in the band?"
I glanced around, feeling wildly uncomfortable by the conversation.
"I may know the entire band."
Her eyes exploded, nearly shooting out of her face cartoonistically.
"What?! The whole band?" I just nodded. "Jesus, Y/N. That's insane!"
I giggled. "I guess. It's just a coincidence."
She smiled at me. "Well that's awesome! Do you want to see the rest of them after? They're doing a free merch signing."
Panic filled my chest, and I put a hand out to grab her shoulder. "No, no. I don't, uh..." I tried to keep my voice solid. "I don't keep in touch with them anymore."
Her eyes narrowed. "Oh? Okay, if you're sure." Something in my voice must have made her feel my anxiety.
We turned, ready to make our way back inside.
"It is too bad. The lead singer's a real looker. I heard one of the girls in the crowd say his name was Noah Sebastian? He's pretty cute."
I almost walked straight into the door, my foot banging off of the pillar. Ray turned around to see me, and something about the look on my face made realization flash over her.
"Oh my God, are you ok-" She stopped dead, eyes widening again. "Wait..."
"Ray, don't." I knew what she had figured out.
"Noah..." I put my hands up, glancing around to ensure no one was looking at us. "As in...Noah? Your old best friend?!"
I shushed her harshly. "Please, Ray. I don't want to think about this."
"That's the guy?! Noah Sebastian is the guy that broke your heart?!"
I was going to actually vomit at that.
"Fuck! Can we not?!" I raised my voice, which made her snap her mouth closed. "Besides, I don't know a Noah Sebastian."
She looked confused. "Is that not his real name?"
I rolled my eyes, turning to walk back in. "It's his middle name."
I spaced out most of what was left of ERRA's set, just trying to put the pieces back together in my brain. This night had not turned into what I had hoped.
I just wanted one night, an easy night, to take a deep breath away from my hectic life. Instead, I was reliving some of my most painful memories, and had a headache to go right along with it from the alcohol. My chest vibrated, the bass just making it so much more difficult to focus.
I stood off of the GA floor, near the bar area, not even realizing the band had finished, and people were swarming to grab drinks and use the restrooms before the men of the evening appeared. Ray approached me, another Vodka cran in her hand, and pushed it into mine.
"Here my love, drink this." I took a long gulp of it. "Do you want us to go? We don't have to stay..."
My eyes were fixed on the stage, where I could see people setting up the equipment. "No." I huffed out a breath, and squeezed my cup. "No, I want to see them play, I think."
She raised an eyebrow. "You're sure? This can't be easy for you."
My eyes burned into her face, which almost made her flinch. "I may never get to see him again, Ray. I have to."
She just nodded, arm linking with mine. "You want to watch from up here?"
I nodded, crunching on a piece of ice from my drink. "No chance of him spotting me back here."
She affirmed my request, and leaned back against the wall with me.
I felt my phone vibrate, and I pulled it from my pocket to see Tyler's name on the screen.
Tyler: Hey beautiful! How's the show?
I held my breath. What kind of a question was that?
Me: Fine. Almost over, just one band left.
He didn't take but a minute to respond.
Tyler: Having fun?
Ha, what a joke.
Me: Yeah. I've had some drinks, so it's helping.
Tyler: Well, enjoy it baby! You deserve it.
That wasn't fair. None of it was. Having to see Noah? The fact that I had an amazing guy, who genuinely liked me, who waited for me. But I still couldn't get my mind off of that irritatingly beautiful face about to take the stage.
The lights went down, and I felt myself tense, throwing back the rest of my drink. My teeth were numb, if that made any sense at all. Ray's hand gripped mine tight, holding me up.
A cinematic scene played on the screens, but I wasn't watching, eyes hastily searching the stage.
A tall man, who I instantly recognized as Jolly, stepped center-stage, a guitar in his hand playing the opening riff to the song. It was heavy, deep and soul shaking.
Folio came out next, his face, like Jolly's, covered in a black ski mask.
Nick took his spot, playing his bass tones.
And then, as the opening crescendoed, a voice rang through the speakers.
A voice I'd never forget.
"Can you hear me through the white noise?"
He blasted onto the stage, glory and all, face covered and thick black jacket on his shoulders.
He sounded different. Angry. Raw, Aggressive. The feeling that sank in my stomach pulled me back further against the wall.
The song played through, his words pulsing through my veins.
As quick as it had started, it was over, and we were on to the next.
The next track was calmer, red lights glowing all throughout the stage.
They had all removed their masks, and I saw his face for the first time. He looked so much older, making it difficult for me to believe he was the same person.
The words of the song resonated deep in my thoughts.
"I don't want to know all your secrets, cause I'll tell. It's hard enough being alone with myself. I don't know how long I'll be holding on..."
Breathing deeply, I watched as the crowd moved with the music, electrifying the energy in the room. It was intoxicating.
Noah had changed...
The set played on without hitch, the entire time I caught myself holding in breaths until I felt my lungs nearly bursting. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, feeling the familiar ache beginning to creep back in.
The music stopped, and a bunch of lights came up. By this time, Noah had discarded his jacket, button-up, and only stood in a black tank top, hands wrapped in what looked like boxing wraps?
"Alright, Boston, how we feeling?" His speaking voice even sounded different...
The crowd erupted.
"We are Bad Omens, and we sincerely appreciate you all being here tonight. The next song we are going to play for you all has been the biggest turning point this band has ever seen." I heard the screams, and did my best to tune them out so I could hear his words. "Is anyone familiar with a song called Just Pretend?"
The room rocked with the cheers and chants of the crowd.
"That volume that I just heard? That's the volume I want to hear you sing this with me, okay? Don't worry about trying to hit the perfect note or get all of the words right. It's about us all, being here together tonight."
The music played softly behind him when his lips reached the microphone.
"I can wait for you at the bottom. I can stay away if you want me to. I can wait for years if I gotta. Heaven knows I ain't getting over you..."
My heart twisted in my chest.
"I'm not afraid, of the war you've come to wage against my sins. I'm not okay, but I can try my best to just pretend. So will you wait me out? Or will you drown me out?"
The tears pooled in my eyes. No fucking way. The song played on, mocking me with the lyrics.
"I know the pain that you hide behind the smile on your face. And not a day goes by where I don't think I feel the same."
"We'll try again, when we're not so different. We will make amends, till then I'll just pretend."
My hands came up to cover my face, my lip trembling hard.
"Weigh down on me. Stay till morning. Way down. Would you say I'm worthy?"
I choked on a sob, my legs pushing me forward, and I ran out of the room. I felt my stomach lurching, my mouth clamping closed as I ran toward the bathroom.
I heard Ray chasing behind me. "Y/N! Wait!"
Flying into the bathroom and finding the first open stall, I fell to my knees, emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet. My hands gripped my hair, tears falling hard down my face.
"Oh God, babe." Ray reached to grab my hair from me as I wretched all of the Vodka out of my stomach, my heart and soul pouring out with it.
When I finished, I let my chest heave with sobs, my hand covering my eyes in ebarrassment.
"Fuck, Ray." I said as I wiped my face with the tissue she handed me. "I've got to get the hell out of here."
She nodded. "Okay, my love. Let's do that."
After a solid twenty minutes of cleaning myself up in the bathroom, we stepped out, noticing the crowd now formed outside, waiting at the table for the band to come out for the signing. Ray was frantically dialing Sean, trying to find him among the sea of people. I just plopped myself down on the floor near the restroom, trying to relax as best as I could.
"Y/N?" I looked up at her. "I have to go find Sean. He isn't answering. Can you wait here for me?"
I just nodded, defeated. She was gone, lost within the abyss of people, and I sat, waiting, head in my hands.
I was pulled out of my stupor by the sound of cheering. The band had come out, all waving and smiling. I didn't even bother chancing a glance at him, for fear I may vomit again.
Ray had not come back yet, despite the four or five texts I had now sent her. I had been waiting for a solid thirty minutes, people watching the line and avoiding seeing his face. The ropes of the line were blocking my view of the faces sitting at the table.
After another fifteen, Ray finally bounded up to me, out of breath, Sean in tow.
"Fuck, I'm so sorry! That crowd is vicious!"
I stood slowly, the room only slightly spinning. I swallowed the dry, disgusting feeling in my throat, and began moving toward the exits that were now mostly clear.
"Let's go." She nodded at me, and took my arm. We had to wait behind several people trying to all get through the same revolving door. My skin felt spiky and cold.
"Hang on! Wait!"
A voice behind me made ice run through my veins, and I closed my eyes, begging whatever God existed to spare me in this moment.
A hand gripped my shoulder, and I tensed, turning my face, and my eyes looked straight at him.
He had spotted me, running from his table to catch me. He had to have been pretty damn sure it was me to chase after me like that. Fans began to crowd us, camera phones coming out, pictures snapping.
The look on his face was much less certain than I expected, as if he possibly made a mistake.
"I'm sorry..." His voice was unsteady. "Do I," He cleared his throat, eyes bouncing back and forth between my own. "know you?"
My eyebrows shot up. He really didn't recognize me?
He thought he did, but now...
"No. I don't think so." I spit out my words, teeth grinding together. It felt exactly the same as the last time I had seen him.
He dropped his hand, eyes still transfixed on mine. "I swore..."
I just turned my body, pressing my way past the gathered crowd, not giving him the chance to think it through.
In the car, I stared out the back window, arms wrapped around myself.
"What did he say, honey?" Ray's voice was so gentle.
"He didn't recognize me. He thought he did, but once he got up close, I guess I look too different." My words were only a peg above a whisper.
"You going to be okay? I don't have to stay at Sean's."
I just wiped the stray tear off of my cheek. "It's fine. I'd rather be alone."
-
A long, scalding shower, two handfuls of shredded cheese, and a solid half-hour crying session later, I was laid catatonically on my bed, eyes staring at the screen as Grey's Anatomy flashed across my screen.
I had blanked my mind out, forcing myself to let the thoughts go for the night. I was too tired and broken to let my heart hurt like this again. It took a solid year to get over Noah enough that I was able to function again. My first year of med school was disappointing, and I didn't make any friends until I made it into the second year. It took me nearly three to start dating.
I couldn't do that again.
I had been ignoring the texts going off on my phone, assuming it was Ray just checking on me for the thousandth time. I did, however, decide to take a look when I heard my ringtone going off.
Who would be calling me at 2AM?
I didn't even bother checking the screen before I put the phone up to my ear, my voice hoarse from crying.
"Hello?"
"What are the odds that you haven't changed your number after all this time?"
I sat bolt upright, my voice catching in my throat. The voice on the other end sounded nearly as wrecked as mine.
"Noah?" It barely came out.
"It's been a long time."
I cleared the newly formed phlegm out of my throat. "It has."
"I knew that was you." It sounded deadly quiet in the background of his end of the line. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming tonight?"
I sighed. "Nick told you?"
"He might've."
I groaned. "Well, I asked him not to."
"Why?"
I scoffed. "What do you mean, why?" I rubbed my eyes. "We're not exactly speaking anymore, Noah."
He hummed. "That's true."
I chewed on my lip, not having any kind of clue of what to say.
"What did you think?"
"Of the show?"
"Mhm."
I sighed. "It was good. Different than what I would have expected."
A soft laugh came through the line. "How so?"
I smiled at that. "It's just a lot different than what I expected your music to sound like."
"In a bad way?"
"No. Not at all."
"I'm glad you enjoyed it." His voice was so serious. So monotone. Nothing at all like what I remembered.
The line fell silent again, and I found this irritating. What was he playing at?
"Why did you call, Noah?"
I heard a breath on the other end, and some rustling. "I don't know."
"Well, maybe you shouldn't have."
"Maybe. I wanted to hear your voice."
My stomach tightened. "Now you have. I should go."
"Wait..." I held the phone firm, waiting. "I want to see you."
My heart pounded. "What?"
"I need to see you." His words were so matter-of-fact.
"I don't think so, Noah. That's not a great idea."
"It's not, but I'm asking..." He sounded so small. "Can I please see you?"
I perused the idea. "When?"
"Now?"
I scrunched up my face, sitting up again. "Now? It's after two in the morning."
"I don't care. I'll come to wherever you are."
This struck me. Maybe he hadn't changed?
"I, uh," I struggled to speak. "Noah, I don't know. I'm at home, it's late. I should be sleeping."
"Y/N?" I stopped, listening. "Please?"
I am a weak woman, and that is just plain fact. I was frantically running throughout the apartment, attempting to tidy any kind of mess I could get my hands on. Ray and I hadn't taken the time to really clean in months, so it was stressing me out. My pajama pants were hanging low on my hips, and I swam in my large sweatshirt.
My hair was falling loose around my face, and I was sure my eyes were puffy from the crying I had done. How insane was I? Had I completely lost it?
It was almost 3AM when a knock came at my apartment door, and I froze in place. What was I doing? Why was I allowing this to happen? I didn't need to do this to myself.
I was fine, living in my normal, tired bubble. I was headed towards a successful career that would take me further than I ever imagined. Why was I allowing this trainwreck of a friendship back into my life? What was I thinking?!
I wasn't. That was the answer to that question.
I opened the door, not sure what to expect on the other side. He stood, still as tall as I remembered, looming in the doorway. He wore a black hoodie, hands tucked neatly in the pocket. Dark blue jeans and black Converse. A white beanie covering his hair.
Like this, he looked almost recognizable. Except for his eyes...
Just like in the photograph I had seen earlier, his eyes were so dark. There was very little life behind them. Deep blue circles hung under the rims, making a pull in my chest show itself.
I just stood, blocking the doorway, hand white-knuckling the frame.
"Hi." Was all he managed. He was staring at me, eyes moving up and down my face as if he was seeing an apparition.
"Hi." I echoed, trying to not feel out of place under his stare.
"I'm glad you agreed to see me." He didn't move an inch, his jaw ticking closed with his last work.
I just nodded, letting out all of my air. "Yeah, well, you were insistent."
He nodded, finally looking away from me and down at the ground.
"I had to."
I pursed my lips, narrowing my eyes. "Did you?" He raised a brow at me. "Did you just have to see me? Because I think we probably would've been alright without it."
I could see his face fall, hurt by what I said, but I didn't care. He never did.
"I'm sorry. I know it's selfish."
"Mm," I pinched my lips together, and opened my door wider. "come in."
I stalked back into the house, not daring to look back at him. I heard the door shut behind me, and I steadied myself, expecting to turn around and see him vanished.
To my chagrin, he was still there.
Deciding not to stagnate, I walked into the kitchen, pulling a bottle of tea from the fridge, and walking back out to the living area. He hadn't moved, and was still staring at me.
"So." I motioned to him. "What can I do for you?"
Noah was so statuesque, as if carved right out of stone. "I don't really know."
My face lifted, a smirk on my lips. "You don't know? Noah," I placed a hand on my hip. "you show up here at 3AM, and you have no idea why?"
He shrugged, eyes begging me for mercy. "I'm sorry. I don't."
"Can you stop apologizing and just tell me why you're here?!" My patience snapped, startling even me.
This took him back, but instead of tucking tail and backing away, he stood straighter, face hardening.
"I can't tell you why I'm here if I don't know, alright?" His words were stern.
"Well you must have some kind of reason? Because this feels wildly unnecessary."
He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "It is? So you didn't want to see me?"
I set my tea on the coffee table and stood nonchalantly. "Not really."
He narrowed his eyes. "I don't buy it." He took a step toward me, but I stood firm. "If you didn't you wouldn't have stayed, tonight. You would've left after you saw the band your friends went to see."
He was closer now, and it felt like a string had tethered between us, the tension slowly slacking.
"Yeah, well, I wanted to see your set. See how the band was doing."
He snickered at me. "Oh, sure. Of course." His hands finally appeared from his pockets, one running over his chin. "Which song was your favorite?"
Oop. I wasn't expecting that.
"The second one. Villain, or something?"
He nodded. "Like A Villain." Noah's eyes weren't buying it. "Which one did you like least?"
I scoffed. "I don't know, Noah? The first one?"
"Mm, and which one was that?"
I was swallowing the lump in my throat. I couldn't remember, the night blurring together.
"Uh, I don't know the name."
He took a step back, triumphant. "You weren't there for the set. You wanted to see me."
Rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms. "Still as self-absorbed as ever, I see?"
"Am I wrong?"
He had me backed into a corner, and he fucking knew it.
I threw my arms up. "Fine! Maybe I did. But you wanted to see me too."
He sneered at me, venom on his lips. "Obviously, or else I wouldn't be here."
"You still haven't said why."
"Why did you want to see me?"
My voice was raising, frustration growing. "I don't know!"
"I don't know either!" He yelled back at me, and my mouth snapped closed. Noah never raised his voice at me. Not ever.
He took three long strides over to me until he was only stood a foot away.
"I didn't expect to ever see you again, Y/N! I thought you were gone forever! So imagine my surprise when I see you walking out of the House of Blues, and you deny even knowing me!"
I felt like shrinking into a ball right there on the floor, ceasing to exist.
"I wanted to see you because how could I not?! Seven fucking years, Y/N!" He backed down for a second, his breathing becoming ragged. "I've been waiting seven years."
I furrowed my brow. "Waiting?"
"For you to reach out. To tell me you missed me. To give me some kind of indication we could reconcile and be us again."
There was a fire, deep down in my gut, that I had never been able to truly extinguish. A fire Noah had lit years ago. A mine shaft burning like the depths of hell in my belly that I had buried under concrete and therapy, keeping it at bay.
In my apartment, tonight, that fire broke loose. And there was no stopping it.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I took a step forward, pressing into his space, index finger jabbing into his chest. "I was supposed to reach out?!"
He took a step back, eyes now full of fear.
"I professed my love to you, Noah! I told you I wanted you, and you fucking left!"
He puffed at me, pointing a finger back at me. "You told me to leave!'
"Yes! Because you told me you didn't love me! You told me you couldn't love me the way I loved you!"
He squeezed his lids shut tight, growling and turning away from me, taking several steps away. His hands came up, gripping the beanie on his head.
"God damn it Y/N!" He turned to look at me, a fiery rage matching my own behind his eyes. "Of course I fucking loved you!"
My heart stopped, completely motionless.
"What?"
"I've always loved you! From the moment I laid fucking eyes on you! I've never loved anyone, no one, the way I loved you!" He charged me, backing me toward the couch. "But I couldn't love you, Y/N! I wasn't good enough. I was a piss-poor high school dropout musician trying to make a name for himself, and, until recently, failing miserably."
I couldn't speak, thoughts racing so fast, I struggled to keep up.
"And you?" He pointed a finger back into my chest. "You were smart, and motivated, and you were going to make something of yourself. I couldn't drag you down with me. I couldn't force you to follow this journey with me. It would've ruined your life!"
My lungs weren't working right, and my hands were shaking. He wasn't actually saying this. I was hallucinating.
"So I left. I left to give you a chance at a real life. Which, evidently, you've managed to build without me." He took a step back, then, dropping his hands. "And I, somehow, without you."
This hurt me, hearing he had managed to become so successful, despite my involvement.
"Noah, I had no idea-"
"No," He cut me off. "you didn't."
I hadn't even caught the tears falling from my eyes, blurring my vision until he was just a watery mess in front of me.
"You didn't need me." I choked out, and he looked directly at me, inquisitively. "You've made it so far. You're a rockstar now, Noah."
He scoffed. "Y/N, you don't get it." He looked away from me, focused on the wall behind me. "I died without you. Something inside of me was lost the day I left, and I never got it back."
"Well, you're successful now, so it can't be so bad, right?"
He snorted, shaking his head. "Success always comes with a price."
My lips were wet with the tears I couldn't hold in, and I couldn't keep my breathing even. I knew he saw it, but hesitated to engage, wanting to keep a wide berth between us. I couldn't take it. It was too much.
Hearing he loved me. Hearing I had been wrong all this time. Hearing that the heartbreak I felt for so long wasn't his fault. He was protecting me, even after all these years.
"Noah?" He chanced a glance at me, and I saw his own eyes sparkling with moisture.
I couldn't take it.
I rushed him, grabbing hold of his shoulder and clinging on, desperate to find relief against him. My lips smashed into his, tearing apart the barrier I had worked so hard to build.
His hands grabbed me, holding me into place against him, his lips melted into mine, returning the kiss fervently. We were hopeless. We were hungry.
My tears didn't stop flowing, emotion pouring out of every pore. My fingers clawed at him, needing to get closer. My hand grabbed the beanie, and pulled it off of his head, his dark hair falling over his eyes. I gripped it at the scalp, trying to pull myself closer.
Feeling what I was attempting to do, his hands lifted me by the back of my legs, so I could wrap them around his midsection. I refused to disconnect the kiss, breathing in his soul. It was so real and so familiar. How I missed it like hell.
His legs carried us to the couch, where he sat us down. My legs straddled him, and I finally pulled away to tug at the sweatshirt he wore. He made quick work of pulling it up over his head while I did the same with my own. Reconnecting our lips, my hands wandered over his neck and chest, scratching at the fabric of his shirt.
His teeth caught my bottom lip, and I moaned into his mouth. His fingers pulled at the waistband of my pajama pants, and I lifted myself enough to slip them off, replacing myself on his lap. His jeans were already getting tighter as his hands smoothed up and down my thighs.
"Fucking hell." He looked down, staring at my bare breasts in front of him. "These got bigger, huh?"
I laughed, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, well, things change."
His fingers gripped around my left breast, lips falling to circle around the hardened nipple. I let my head fall back, relishing in the warm feeling spreading throughout my body.
"Still so fucking beautiful, just like I remember." I pulled at the hair on the back of his neck. "Did you miss me, baby girl?"
I ground my hips down against him in response. His hand began playing with the button of his jeans, and I moved it away to open them myself.
I stood up to pull his jeans down to his knees, his boxers bulging in the crotch.
"Oh, fuck." I sighed out. "Yeah, I missed you."
His smile then was devious, some of that regular spark shining back in his eyes. "Then show me, huh?"
Reaching into the opening of his underwear, I pulled his cock free, taking a moment to remember just how large it was. It had been a very long time since I had seen anything quite that impressive. Dipping my head down, I licked a long stripe up the shaft, lingering on the head to gather the precome leaking out.
"Holy shit." His head fell back on the couch, his eyes rolling back with it. "Mm, do that again, please?"
I smirked, looking up at him. "Only since you asked so nicely."
My tongue repeated the movement, drawing out a hard groan out of him, his legs twitching. "Fuck yeah, baby."
Without warning, I wrapped my lips around him and swallowed him as far down as my throat would allow, gagging on the tip as it struck my tonsils. His hips jolted upward, effectively fucking my throat.
"Please, Y/N, I won't last that way." He begged, his words only coming out as breaths. "I need to feel you, please."
He was begging, and I couldn't resist it. I needed him too.
I stood back up, and kneeled on either side of him, carefully lining him up with my entrance. When I sunk down, that delicious burn pierced through me, and my body collapsed onto him at the intensity of it.
"Noah, oh my God." He ran a hand up my back, allowing me a moment to adjust.
"I know, baby. I know." He soothed me, rubbing small circles into my skin.
My hips stuttered forward, needing to feel the friction. His hand reached down to grab my ass, and lifted me upward. Without warning, his hips snapped forward and fucked into me, making a sharp scream leave my lips.
My face rested on his chest, whimpers falling from my throat with each hard thrust.
"Fuck, you missed me, pretty girl?" He was panting between his words, his rhythm picking up speed. "Missed the way I fuck you?"
My eyes were rolling back, the tears from before now replaced with tears of raw pleasure.
"I'll bet you've never been fucked like this, huh?" His words were just tones of desire playing in my ears, his cock absolutely destroying me. "No one can fuck you like I can, baby. No one."
My nails dug hard into his shirt, begging for release.
"Let me know when you come, baby. Not finishing until you do."
Luckily for him, I was riding the edge so hard it was making the room spin. Biting my lip to keep from screaming, I lifted myself to look at his face.
"Noah," I searched his eyes, his hips not faltering. "I love you."
He grit his teeth, trying to focus on me and his hips at the same time. "I love you, too. So fucking much."
My face fell back down, landing on the side of his neck. "I'm going to come. Please, Noah, I'm so close..."
He, somehow, managed to pump into me harder, sending my body over the cliff and into the warm waves of my orgasm. My body went slack against him as my walls pulsed around his length.
I heard him curse, and his hips stilled. I felt him spasming inside me, and silently thanked myself for my IUD.
We laid that way, sweaty and heaving, for a solid ten minutes before either of us could find the strength to move. I slipped him out of me, and sat up to look at him. He looked absolutely wrecked, in the best possible way.
I smiled, feeling a warmth spread over me.
"Hi." Was all I could manage.
He chuckled tiredly. "Hi."
-
After our excursion, Noah and I had taken a few minutes to clean up, and, being as exhausted as you'd expect, decided to lay together for a while.
He told me he had to leave within a few hours to get back to his hotel, heading to the next city bright and early, so I told him I'd stay up until he had to leave.
However, in my bed, his arms wrapped tightly around me, his voice whispering sweet words in my ears, I struggled to remain conscious.
"Do you remember when I bought you that Oasis album for your fourteenth birthday? That was basically me professing my love to you."
"I was such an idiot. I should've just told you."
"You have no idea how much I've missed you. I don't think you'll ever understand."
"I'm so sorry. I wish things were different..."
And that's how I woke up, light in my bedroom far too bright, and my bed empty.
I don't know what I expected? For him to stay? Fuck off his tour to make up for lost time with me?
But still, my chest stung when I saw he had left, but I wasn't surprised.
Something had changed last night, and the darkness that lingered in the depths of my being had lifted, leaving me with a sense of hope I hadn't felt before.
When I had woken for the day, clearing the cobwebs from my eyes, I contemplated my next move. He had surely left town already, but that didn't mean I couldn't keep in touch, right?
Pulling out my phone, I found his contact, and opened a text thread.
Me: Hey, call me when you can. I think we have a lot to talk about. :)
I set my phone down on the bathroom counter, preparing to brush my teeth when my phone dinged, and the notification told me the text had failed.
Odd?
I resent it, getting the same response.
Why would my messages fail? I paid my bill, right?
Quickly dialing Ray's number, I held the phone to my ear and heard the ringing, so I knew my service was fine. Giving her a quick apology for waking her, I hung up, and went back to my texts.
His number was the same, right?
I went back to my call logs, seeing it was his number that called me last night, so it was the same as it had always been.
So...what the hell?
My finger hovered over the number for a moment, and I weighed the options before finally resolving to just call him. Make sure I wasn't losing my mind.
I held the phone to my face as I started brushing my teeth, waiting for the call to connect.
"The number you have reached is not in service. If you feel you have reached this message in error, please hang up and try your call again."
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fountainpenguin · 9 months
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Secret Life finale highlights for me:
- "My strategy: Kill Skizz and Tango. Will happen at some point... Or, just maim them and watch them die in a corner." - Scar
- Scott on Grian's loyalty: "I have never seen a man drop a pair of sunglasses faster in my life [than last season after Joel died]."
- I think I reblogged someone's speculation weeks ago that at the dawn of final session, everyone's task book would just say "Win Secret Life." Congrats to them for Apollo's gift of prophecy.
- Martyn's beat of pause before saying to Joel "Welcome to the Out of Context video."
- At the start of the season, Etho said Joel was the first one he wanted to kill because "He's cheeky." When Joel is asked who he wants to kill, he says "Etho." Glad you're enjoying your rivalry, boys, smh...
- Joel, once again giving into his Shrek origins, watching Bdubs' wool globe go up in flames and chirping "My world's on fire; how 'bout yours?"
- Tango does not break his "pathetic death" curse. Just blipped out of existence. Love that for him.
- Spitting, crying... BigB panics and flees into his creepy backrooms for safety. Immediately vanishes into the tunnel maze. Scar pursues and skids to a halt because he hasn't seen it yet and is thoroughly creeped out.
- Scar coming up to surface and trying to describe how BigB disappeared. Martyn looks down at where they're standing and is just like "Oh, that's the backrooms." Mental image of Scar as that meme that goes "The. what."
- Scar describing BigB as a sneaky squirrel. "Squirrel" was the name of BigB's horse in Double Life.
- Joel's anxiety about entering a Nether portal on the final episode, specifically because of how he and Etho perma-died in Double Life
- Whatever was going on with Martyn flinging ender pearls up the ladder seconds before he died
- Additionally, people in the background commenting that they think Martyn's teamed up with Cleo and the only reason he was near them was an attempt to bear down and kill them
- Scar to Bdubs, watching Cleo and Etho from a distance: "Look at this- Mom and Dad are bringing their new ugly stepson to meet us, Bdubs." /camera pans to the warden chasing them
- Bdubs tells Scar that Cleo said he was her favorite son and Scar IMMEDIATELY, without responding or even waiting for Bdubs to finish his sentence, jumps a wall and books it to Cleo to confirm... Mental image of him swinging dramatically over it with one hand, his shawl billowing behind him
- Scar chases Cleo while they're both being pursued by a warden, asking her if he's her favorite son. Doesn't let up until she assures him she "just said it to keep Bdubs happy." what is wrong with the Clocker family.
- Joel somehow pulled off a beautiful PVP kill on Skizz despite having only 2.5 hearts
- In earlier episodes, Joel had people say "The florist sends his regards" on his behalf before striking. Before killing Skizz, he says "Scar sends his regards" since Scar really wanted to kill Skizz but bequeathed the fight to Joel instead.
- Scar trotting up to Etho and Cleo, who are watching him from a cliff, and announcing "I am not up to anything nefarious!"
- Scar's weird spiky wall design is really pretty
- slkdjfskldjfsklj?!?!?!? I had a bullet point on this list that said "Honorable non-finale mention to Scar getting both the Green and Yellow kill on Etho this season" but now I see I need to correct that:
- Shout-out to Scar killing Etho - in Etho's front yard - THREE TIMES this season. Etho rushing back to his base, tripping over his feet and saying "I'm going home, everybody- I'm dying at my home-"
- Scott to Scar: "I went down to BigB - to get him - and I see what you mean; he does just talk his way out of things so you feel bad; you just leave him." / Scar: "That's why you don't let him speak. You just inner monologue. You start talking about Star Wars so you can't hear his charms."
- As Scar drives his sword into Cleo, he says "Good-bye, Mom- This is for you telling Bdubs [he's your] favorite." Geez, dude. Scar killed both his parents; this family is a mess. Bonus points for Joel fumbling in the background like "Oh my gosh- Scar, you savage-"
- I watched multiple POVs until I was caught up to the standoff between Gem & The Scotts vs. The Mounders... So picking up from there with Scar's POV b/c his is the one I randomly started with today: I love how Joel basically went "I am once again throwing caution to the wind and charging into battle with a murderous Red rage in my eyes and no one behind me" like he ALWAYS does.
- Bdubs and Scar decide to back him up... Amazing.
- Scar has gotten 4 kills (Tango, Etho, Cleo, Impulse) and he was super close to getting BigB as well before Scott sniped the kill. Geez... The man is vicious today. During Limited Life, Grian made a comment that went something like "Of course Scar is only destructive / successful when I'm not on his team" and honestly? Yeah...
- Pearl begging Scar to kill her- Pearl warning Scar that if she perma-kills Gem, she'll go up 10 hearts- Scar refusing, insisting that he doesn't want to turn on her because it feels lame...
- Scar got Gem, he got Gem... GeminiSlay is DOWN!
- SCAR SWEEP WITH THE BOW!!
Oh my goodness, I saw his episode title ("Can Villain Scar Win?") and the words that went through my head were "Welp, that's a spoiler that he's dead." I see I was wrong.
GG, SCAR WIN!!! Man who wanted so desperately to have friends, only to trip and fail time and time again... GoodTimesWithVictor!!
My heart, Scar letting that zombie knock him down to half a heart... playing up like he didn't just watch the lightning bolt mark Pearl's demise. He wanders, calling out to Pearl, asking where she went... quietly giggling and muttering to himself as that zombie pushes at him... GG, Scar. GG.
My goodness, is this the only time we haven't seen the winner die in their perspective? Scar slams that success button for winning the game, gets 5 hearts, turns back, and that's it... That's the game. End scene.
What a LAD!!
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quack-quack-snacks · 1 year
Text
Flaming Hearts
My Navigation and Masterlist
Pairing(s): Void Stiles x Phoenix!Fem!Reader Summary: You were always treated like an outcast by the pack. When the nogitsune takes over Stiles's body, he shows you how good being the outcast can feel Warnings: smut, pwp, mean McCall pack, EXTREME OVERSTIMULATION, fingering, cunnilingus, praise kink (tehe), eye contact, vaginal penetration, masochistic Void (kinda for like half a scene), sweet Void, commentary during the deed which is lowkey cringe in some spots my bad y’all, cervix fucking, unprotected sex, reader is not on birth control, Void lowkey baby trapping reader, a lil manipulation but like not bad, updated to have no use of (y/n), I think that’s it lmk if there's more. MINORS CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK. YOU KNOW THE WARNINGS YOU’VE READ THEM A THOUSAND TIMES. Word Count: 10,086
This was a very self-indulgent fic and I’m not sorry.
Pt 2 will be linked here when done.
BRO IS BEAUTIFUL WHAT
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(GIFs are by @scuddish thank you scuddish for your wonderful contribution)
Life was cruel, but it made up for it with gifts.
You were new in town, a transfer student, living in a single bedroom apartment that was provided for you by your mother as well as helped by the government of Beacon Hills. You’d felt a calling to be here for the longest time and you were relieved your mom let you go. All throughout the first two weeks of your time attending the new school, you were desperately searching for friends or somewhere to fit into with no luck. On one extremely anxious day, you escaped your class to go to the girl’s locker room and break down there.
Until you saw two boys in there. The shock of two boys being in the Female locker room was enough to shake you out of your panicked state and make you wipe the tears from your eyes. With your vision no longer blurred, you could see the claws on his hands and the intense sideburns and fangs.
When once brown eyes turned a bright glowing amber, your body decided that was too much.
And you fainted.
The pack took you in after that - almost as an apology for making you faint - and allowed you to join their group since you knew about the supernatural now. They let you sit with them, invited you to sleepovers - Allison and Lydia mostly but Scott and Isacc surprisingly asked once. You were so happy to finally find a place that you fit in.
Except they never really let you join completely. No trust other than friendly-non supernatural related matters trust was placed in you despite the continuous ways you proved yourself. Being human, you were outcasted in the group of outcasts. Stiles was human but he was the brains. He discovered things no one else could, he was the detective of the group.
You were more like an emotional support human that was only needed like 2% of the time.
Noah Stilinski, the sweetheart that he is and despite his son’s deepest complaints, took over your living situation and let you stay with them for the year while you attended school at Beacon Hills.
Perfect fucking precious Stiles. He was infinitely the worst one in the group. At first he just avoided you at all costs until his dad decided to room you in the same house as him. Ever since, he’d been sending you glares anytime you were in his visibility and would blame you for the simplest of things despite obviously being the cause of them. He was so hard to get along with. Seeing how he acted around everyone else besides you and how everyone else acted around each other made everything worse. You knew you couldn’t leave because of Noah’s insistence to stay here and your mother not paying for housing anymore since she knew of your improved situation.
You also didn’t want to leave. You didn’t want to leave these people. The only friends you can remember having. Those who, despite how they cast you out, have treated you decently well, at the very least sometimes, and took you in at your most vulnerable moment.
Stiles just seemed to hate you for whatever reason.
You sighed as you walked through the front door to the Stilinski household. A sigh escaped your mouth as the door closed behind you.
You called out into the house to let anyone home know of your presence. “I’m back!”
The house was eerily quiet and no response hit your ears. You shrugged it off with the thought of all occupants just being out and were a bit relieved you could have the house to yourself for a bit. They barely let you off on your own. Even now when you spent your time out of the house, you were accompanied by Lydia.
You shrugged your rain coat off your shoulders and took off your muddied boots, not wanting to track it into the house and have an excuse for Stiles to hate you even more. Your bones ached from the long day, having been running around all day trying to do whatever you could to help find Stiles. He had been missing for a while and the group barely filled you in on what was happening, just giving you the quick and vague summary about a nogitsune and a missing Stilinski.
With a sigh, you plopped down onto the living room couch and leaned your head on the back cushion. Your eyes closed and you took a moment to just listen to the quiet around you, the only sound the pitter patter of the pouring rain on the roof and windows. It was calm, peaceful even. You couldn’t remember a time where your life wasn’t a chaotic mess since meeting the pack. You sunk more into the cushions and pulled your knees to your chest while grabbing the TV remote and switching it to your favorite channel.
It was all so dark. So dark yet so comforting. Calloused fingertips caressed your forehead and brushed the hair out of your face. You could feel yourself being brought out of the heavenly ignorant bliss the darkness gave you and groaned in complaint. The fingertips stilled on your hairline, slowly retracting and you let out another sound of complaint.
A soft chuckle that sounded familiar but just out of reach for your sleep hazed brain echoed through the room. You felt yourself slipping back into the darkness when the familiar voice spoke.
“They don’t treat you very well do they, dove?”
Your eyes opened almost hesitantly and when you saw the voice’s face you gasped.
There he was. Stiles Stilinski in the flesh, and yet he seemed so different. His skin was paler, his eye bags sunken in and were a light purple. He looked… hot.
You shook that thought away the moment it popped into your head.
His hand, now resting on your cheek with a gentle grip, was feverish, almost to the point of uncomfort, but not quite.
And then you realized.
It was Stiles.
“Oh my god! Stiles what the hell?” You shot up to sit straight but his hand holding your cheek quickly traveled to your throat and he forced you back down, not holding enough to restrict air flow or hurt, but enough for you to get the message not to move. That and the glare he gave you. A sound of surprise sounded from your mouth unwillingly. “Um.” your eyes traveled from his unnaturally dark eyes to the wrist of the hand wrapped around your neck. “Okay, haha, you’re really funny but you can let go now.” You tried to laugh it off and deescalate the situation despite your growing weariness.
“Now why would I do that, when you look so pretty wearing my hand as a necklace?” He tilted his head and his eyes ran over your body slowly, seeing you shift under his gaze and his smirk growing with each movement.
“Wha- huh?” That was about all the words you could say, nothing coherent coming out of your mouth as you weren’t sure if you were flustered, annoyed, or turned on.
Maybe it was all three.
“Stiles, stop messing around. Everyone has been worried sick about you, they’ve spent the last 2 days searching for you nonstop. We need to call Scott and let him know you’re here and okay.” Although ‘okay’ doesn’t seem like the correct term. Sure, Stiles seemed unharmed, despite the obvious lack of sleep showing on his face - although that was relatively normal for him and his insomnia - but his tone, posture, and manners were way different. It almost seemed as if he had become a different person overnight.
He chuckled again, even his voice seemed deeper. Darker. “Oh I’m sure Scott knows exactly how I’m doing, considering I was at school earlier today. Oh… wait, they didn’t tell you, did they?” His face shifted into a mocking pout. “Poor little dove, outcast even in a place surrounded by people of supernatural abilities. The outcast of the outcasts. A fitting title don’t you think?” His words stung a little but it was nothing you yourself hadn’t already thought of. Him saying it just confirmed your thoughts.
“I mean, they don’t trust you at all. Despite everything you have put yourself through to prove yourself to them, they’ve just pushed it all to the side just because you’re different.” You were getting sick of him taunting you, just approving everything you’ve been telling yourself for the past two months. You rolled your eyes in annoyance and, fed up, you raised your hands to his wrist and tried to pry it off your neck. As soon as your fingers touched the skin of his hand - with a speed you barely saw - he removed his hand from your neck, using both hands to grab your wrists and pin them above your head to the couch’s armrest. He smirked at your dumbfounded expression and shocked stutters.
“You see, I’ve been watching it for a while now, the faltered smiles when one of them would make a comment to the group and cast you out. When they talked about their plans at lunch when you weren’t sitting with them yet and immediately shutting up when you got into ear shot. The way when even you don’t know, they are always following you, always watching. Making sure you were being a good girl.” He smirked once again and shifted your hands to be held by only one of his. The, now freed, hand forced your curled up legs to straighten and then he moved to straddle above you. You were pretty sure your eyes could just pop out of their sockets by how wide they were. His face dipped down and he pressed his nose to your jugular, his lips just barely touching your skin and lightly brushing against it when he talked again.
“But you’ve always been a good girl, haven’t you?” Your breath caught as his teeth lightly skimmed over your neck, canines feeling more elongated and sharper than normal. A shiver went down your spine as his tongue peeked out and slid up your neck until he was right next to your ear.
“Will you be a good girl for me now, dove?”
A whimper almost escaped your bite swollen lips at the pet name, your cheeks heating up and a warmth swirling in your core. “S-Stiles, what’s gotten into you?”
He growled and bit down on your neck harshly, making you release a yelp before it transformed into a muffled moan as he smoothed his tongue over it. “Don’t. Call me that.”
“Call you what? Your name?” You asked, so confused by everything that was happening. Confused on why Stiles was acting this way, confused by why he wouldn’t call Scott, confused on why now of all times your attraction to Stiles had to come out.
You’ve always thought Stiles was attractive. The muscles he hid underneath his baggy flannels, the short glimpse you would see whenever he took his lacrosse jersey off after practice or a game before heading to the locker rooms, and that pretty face that haunted your dreams. Now, it seemed the attraction was even worse because of this new arrogant, cocky, full of himself, and confident attitude. He wasn’t pretty anymore, he was bewitchingly hot.
It also didn’t help that something unmistakable was poking your lower stomach.
“That’s not my name.” He said before quickly positioning himself to be kneeling on the couch in front of you between your legs, your thighs wrapped around his waist and his clothed erection so close to your heat a soft whimper escaped your mouth against your will. He grabbed your neck again, forcing you to look him in the eyes as he smirked and jutted his hips forward.
A gasp that quickly turned into a moan left you and you struggled against his grip on your hands as your cheeks heated, embarrassed by the sounds you were making. You didn’t necessarily want him to stop, you just wanted to cover your mouth so no sound would come out.
As if he could read your thoughts, he spoke. “Oh no no. You’re not going to hide those pretty little noises from me. In fact,” he leaned his face in close, your noses touching and lips inches apart. “I’ve decided I’m going to make you unable to stop making them.” His lips met yours as he thrust his clothed sex against yours again, swallowing the moan that left your mouth. He grinded against you, teasingly slow and you could feel his lips turning into a grin as you tried to quiet your whimpers and moans.
Just as his hand managed to unbuckle your pants, your phone rang from the kitchen counter. Stiles broke the kiss and stared at you with an outraged and lust filled look. He let you get up to go answer the phone with an eye roll.
It was Scott.
“Hey Sco-”
His frantic voice panically calling your name cut you off. “Where are you?”
“Uh, I’m… at home? Or- shit, not my home, the Stilinski home.”
A short sigh of relief was heard through the phone. “Okay, good. Stay there. Lock the doors and windows, do not let anyone in. Absolutely no one, do you understand me? No one! Not until we tell you it’s safe.”
“Scott, it's a bit late for that. Stiles came home a while ago, I’m not sure when bu-”
“Stiles is with you?” Scott’s voice yelled through the phone and you winced before replying.
“Yeah we’ve been… in the living room for the past 20 minutes or so.”
“Get the hell out of there,” Scott said sternly with a bit of fear and anxiety mixed in.
“What? Why?”
His voice broke a little as he spoke your name with a fearful tone. “That’s not Stiles.”
A hand landed over your mouth just as you were about to say something else while another gently took the phone from your grasp. The shock and slight fear of the situation took over both your flight and fight senses, leaving freeze as the only option. Stiles, or not-Stiles, brought the phone up to his ear as Scott shouted through it, his every word stated clearly despite being heard through the phone when not on speaker.
“Sorry, Scottie. Why don’t you call back later? Your girl's a little busy right now.” With that, he hung up.
You turned around slowly only to have Stiles, or not-Stiles, standing inches away from you with a massive evil grin shaping his face. You took a step back only to realize you had no room because of the kitchen counter. Not-Stiles took a single step forward and then grabbed the counter on either side of your body, trapping you. He stuck his face into your neck again, breathing deeply before speaking.
“And here I was wanting to drag it out for a while longer.” He leaned back and looked you straight in the eye with the most genuine smile you had seen from him all night, if not ever. “But alas, not today.” He raised his hand and swiftly brought it down to a pressure point on your neck, knocking you out instantly and catching you with a soft grip as you fell. “Until next time, dove.”
A violent shake and iron tight grips on your biceps violently woke you up, Allison standing above your lying position on the Stilinski couch and looking at you with frantic panicked eyes that calmed when she saw you awaken.
“Oh thank god. You had me worried for a moment there.” She grabbed your hand and lifted you more harshly than you would have liked and you rubbed your wrist when she turned away. “Something’s going on. We need to go to Scott’s house, everyone is already there waiting for us.”
You knew better than to ask any questions. They would tell you what they would tell you and nothing more.
Looking around for your phone, you noticed it was nowhere to be seen and you remembered the events of last night.
Last night…
It had been a whole night since you had seen him. Since Scott had called.
Did they really take a whole night to come see you? To make sure you were okay?
The car ride there was silent and you could feel your anxiety rising the more the silence dragged on. A breath of relief left you as you saw Scott’s house pull up. Allison rushed straight into the house, leaving you behind without a second thought and you rolled your eyes to hide the pain it caused you.
When you entered the house, the chattering from the pack in the kitchen stopped abruptly and they all looked at you. Scott hesitated before he took a few steps toward you and brought you into an awkward hug.
“I’m glad you’re okay. We were all worried.”
You looked around once he let you go and almost scoffed. Oh yeah, they all look really worried. Didn’t have enough time to send someone over to make sue I was alive but they’re so worried.
Over time, they casted you out more and more and became more distant. You were completely left in the dust. Not even just for supernatural matter. Lydia and Allison stopped inviting you for sleepovers; Scott and Isaac stopped having lunch with you outside underneath the apple tree near the lacrosse field; Stiles, funnily enough, was the only one who stayed the same, if not lessened up on the glaring.
You heard a soft speaking from behind you and whipped around to see a sight that made you gasp.
There was Stiles. He was sitting on the couch with a piece of black tape covering his mouth with Melissa sitting next to him, her head in her hands. His eyes shone brightly when he caught sight of you and he tilted his head slightly to the side in a way that made you shift. It was like yesterday’s events were playing on repeat in his eyes and you couldn’t look away.
“I think it’s time we filled you in.” Scott said from behind you and it brought you out of the trance like state Stiles/Not-Stiles had you in.
“Yeah, you’re goddamn right it is.” You said and crossed your arms over your chest. Scott looked slightly shocked at your behavior and scratched the back of his neck. Just as he was about to open his mouth, you interrupted him. “Don’t even. I am getting so sick of how you all treat me. I have proven myself over and over again and you all just refuse to believe that I am on your side. What do I have to do for you to trust me? Do I need to sacrifice a lamb for you to trust me, oh my Lord Jesus Christ?” The last sentence was uttered with as much sarcasm as you could muster. Your outburst left everyone temporarily paralyzed in shock - as you had barely ever raised your voice at them - before a loud, albeit muffled, cackle interrupted the odd silence. You didn’t even have to turn around to know the Stiles imposter was looking at the show with mirth filled eyes.
“We- we never meant-” Scott started.
“Oh shut up, now is not the time for your excuses. Not to mention you practically left me for dead last night after you called, Scottie.” You spat his name out with a venom coated tongue as you interrupted him again and rolled your eyes. “Just fill me in on whatever the hell has happened to Stiles so we can all move on in our lives.”
He nodded and started to tell you everything about the nogitsune, how he had taken over Stiles, how he had stabbed Scott, how he almost killed Kira. By the end of the story you were surprisingly not even phased, whether that be because your mind was used to everything being crazy in your life while involved with the pack or how you just didn’t care. It’s not like they ever treated you that well, sure they were your friends but they were your friends by convenience and force, not choice.
And Void, that is what the nogitsune possessing Stiles’ body was called, well, he was just something else. The events yesterday may be shifting your bias but it was undeniable. You had felt an attraction like never before during those short and blissful moments. It didn’t even feel like Stiles. You know that even if Stiles had ever done something like that, he would never have had the confidence like Void did. And it was a feeling that made you squirm in your seat on the kitchen stool.
The hairs on the back of your neck prickled and you risked a glimpse behind to see Void already glaring into your eyes, his eyes darkened by a feeling you could only describe as complete and utter desire.
He wanted you. And if the chance were to come, who were you to deny him?
After 10 minutes of trying to figure out a plan and speaking in hushed tones to avoid Void hearing, Lydia had given in and called someone, you didn’t know who but it seemed everyone else did.
Once again they left you out. Even after you lectured them about how much they did that.
More waiting happened until the bang of the front door being slammed open interrupted your increasingly anxious thoughts. With a too gleeful expression for the situation on his face, the one and only Peter Hale stood in the doorway with his arms opened in a grand gesture.
You all gave him a deadpan stare.
He rolled his eyes and walked up to all of you, more specifically, to you. He tilted his head as he noticed your eyes. You turned your head to control yourself. When you were anxious, or just feeling any strong emotion, your eyes seemed as if the irises caught on fire. They were frighteningly beautiful.
And you hated them.
As your heart steadied and you raised your head back to the group again, Peter’s interested gaze had shifted away from you and to Lydia with a knowing look before walking to Stiles. As he crouched in front of him and inspected his state of being, he spoke. “He doesn’t look like he would survive a slap across the face, much less the bite of a werewolf.” You assumed Lydia already filled him in on what the situation was and what the plan was.
“You don’t think it would work?” Scott asked anxiously as he picked at the skin around his fingers.
“This is more a war of the mind than the body.” Peter stood back up to his full height. “There are better methods to winning this battle.” The mischievous glimpse in his eyes made you worried about what these ‘better methods’ were.
“What methods are you thinking of?” the veterinarian, Deaton, asked, his expression also showing concern.
Peter turned to face the rest of you. “We’re going to get in his head.”
As soon as he said that, he walked toward Lydia and roughly grabbed her by the elbow. With her being right next to me, you instinctively reached out and grabbed the wrist attached to the hand holding her. Peter’s loud unbridled yelp of pain made you rip your hand off him and he cradled his wrist as you caught a glimpse of it.
It was completely scorched.
Your face morphed into one of horror as your eyes flicker between the burn marks on his wrist that were, thankfully, already healing and the ashes on your palm.
“Oh my god! What did you do?” Lydia screamed at you and panicked as she grabbed Peter's arm, careful not to touch the wound.
“I- I didn’t- I don’t-” You kept trying to speak but your mind was panicking and your body was overwhelmed with shock and fear. Fear of yourself.
“It’s quite alright Lydia.” Peter said after a second when his hand had healed for the most part, it seemed the wound looked much worse than it actually was and all that remained was a red handprint and some ashes.
“I-I’m so sorry, I-I don’t know what happened.” You held the hand you used to your chest as if to protect everyone else from it. Deaton walked up from behind you and put his hand on your shoulder before flinching away.
“Your skin is burning. Scott, get her some ice.” Scott rushed to the fridge and brought out an ice pack. He practically shoved it into your hands before pulling his hand away quickly. He tried to hide it but his eyes showed fear.
It hurt, seeing them all looking at you like that. They tried to hide it but they looked at you the same way they looked at Void. They looked at you like you were a monster.
The ice pack in your hands was such a contrast to your burning skin that it forced your brain to focus on its contrasting temperature until you realized it was melting through your palms. You quickly hid your hands and the melted plastic of the ice pack in your pockets before anyone could see.
Anyone besides the boy sitting on the couch that is.
Peter reached for Lydia again, slowly this time and much gentler than before. You didn’t even look at them as they walked away, choosing instead to just stand there with your eyes focused on the hand you burned the man with.
After a while, they came back to the group and you all migrated to the couch where Stiles sat. You avoided his eyes like the plague, knowing they were zoned in on your every move and smiling in delight when he knew he’d gotten to you with just his mere presence.
Lydia was seated on one end of the couch, Void the other, with Scott standing behind the couch in the middle of them. Peter moved Scott’s fingers to align with the correct place to connect them all into Stiles’ mind palace.
“So what do we do if we do find him?” Scott asked.
“You’re going to have to guide him out somehow…” Peter replied vaguely which caused Scott and Lydia to both become increasingly annoyed and you rested your elbows on your knees before holding your head in your hands.
“Could you elaborate on ‘somehow?’ It’s not feeling very specific at the moment.” Lydia sighed with a slight roll of her eyes.
Peter shrugged, “Improvise.”
“Mm. Improvise he says.” you muttered under your breath but everyone ignored you.
Everyone except the murderous brown eyes burning a hole through your skull.
“What if this is just another trick?” Scott worried.
The grown wolf groaned in annoyance and exasperation. “When are you people going to start trusting me?”
You scoffed, thinking the exact same thing.
Scott’s eyes flickered between you and the hyena before he said, “I meant him.” And pointed to the possessed body on the couch. You finally raised your gaze to watch the scene unfold and felt your heart settle into your lower region when you saw Void. His head leaned against the back of the couch, tilted to the side as his eyes were focused on you, an enchanting and hungry look settling in his eyes as they gazed at you. He gave you a slow once over and everything around you tuned out as you felt your body heat up and pool in your panties. You could tell, if the black tape covering his lips was off, he would be sporting a very arrogant smirk.
A synchronized gasp from all three members near the couch broke your gaze with him as his eyes closed and his head fully fell against the back of the couch, face now facing the ceiling.
You almost stood up to go to him before a sigh from Peter faltered your movements and he spoke.
“Now we wait.”
And wait you did. It seemed like time was not in your favor when everything your life had become to know as normal was at stake. It couldn’t have been more than 30 minutes, but to you?
It felt like hours.
Blood dripped down Lydia’s nose and Peter ran up to her, shaking her as he screamed at her to concentrate and that she was stronger than this.
Personally, you couldn’t draw your eyes away from Void. His breathing was soft, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down when he swallowed and chest rising and falling with each inhale and outhale.
Meanwhile another Hale was pissing you off.
Just as you were about to call him out for being too loud, A collective gasp from the two non-possessed members near the couch once again interrupted you.
Melissa rushed toward Lydia to help her and Scott took a few deep breaths before focusing all his attention to the Stiles look-alike. “Did it work?” He asked frantically. You sighed and rested your head against your knees, arms wrapping around your shins to hug yourself in disappointment, the anticipation disintegrating into the thin air.
“What happened? Why didn’t it work?” Lydia stood up quickly and rushed to Peter, demanding answers he evidently couldn’t provide.
“Because it’s not science, Lydia, it’s supernatural.” Peter sighed before grabbing her arm and pulling her toward him menacingly and they spoke in hushed whispers before Void shot forward onto his knees to the floor.
Like a circus act, a seemingly unending length of fabric spit from Void’s mouth and he used both hands to pull it out. Unnerving moments went by as everyone watched before all the scarf-like material was out of his mouth and he scrambled back to sit on the couch again, panting with his head resting against the cushion and his eyes closed.
There was clattering and yells to the side but you just stood carefully and walked to where Stiles was sitting on the couch. You sighed in nervousness before touching his shoulder softly and attempting to comfort him since all the others of the pack were focused on the clump of fabric behind you.
“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay, everything will work out. Just calm down.” You went to pull your hand away as his breathing slowed but he reached up and grabbed it with a speed non-human. Your heartbeat started rising again as the realization dawned on you.
He opened his eyes and looked at you with a smirk and heavy lidded eyes. “You’re right dove.” He tugged on your hand and you fell forward into him, his free arm wrapping around your waist aggressively. Or was it possessively? “Everything will work out.”
You awoke in a cold concrete walled room, the only warmth over you being your clothes and a soft woven blanket that did a surprisingly good job at staving off the chill. A soft padded queen size mattress with no support laid underneath to separate you from the frigid floor. You couldn’t remember passing out but you knew exactly where you were.
Or rather, who you were with.
Getting a sense of deja vu, calloused fingertips traced over your forehead to your hairline before going back again in a figure 8 pattern.
Your heart beat rose and his fingers trailed from your forehead to your neck, right over your pulse. You opened your eyes and looked at him where he sat; he looked genuinely happy, in a sick, twisted way. Despite how comforting the smile was, it sent shivers down your back that you couldn’t tell were pleasant or not.
“Hi dove.”
His voice broke you out of the trance his hypnotizing eyes put you under every time. You sat up quickly and scooted away from him, falling off the bed - luckily not falling down far because of how low the mattress was to the ground - and looked at him with conflicted thoughts and emotions.
He looked faux surprised and hurt by your actions, standing up and walking toward you as you scrambled to your feet to get away from him. “What’s wrong? You were so enthusiastic about it earlier, what changed?” You gasped as your back hit the concrete of the wall and he cornered you, one hand going to rest against the wall next to your head and the other holding your waist under your shirt. His fingers against your skin felt incredibly hot compared to the cold seeping through your shirt from the wall. He leaned in to speak again and his breath hit your lips with every word. “I promise I won't bite.”
Liar.
He leaned into your neck but didn’t touch you, only letting you feel the heat emanating from his body but not the skin. He took a deep breath in and you had to bite your lip and clench your eyes shut to stop yourself from falling to his feet.
It hadn’t gone away. The undeniable urge to just jump his bones and feel more of that pleasure he seemed so willing to offer.
“But of course, it's no fun if you don’t consent…” he leaned back and the hand that was previously on the wall next to your head traveled to your neck which he tilted upwards to lengthen your neck and looked at you with a smirk and hungry eyes ready to devour you. “So why don’t you be a good girl and tell me how much you want this,” he leaned in and his lips brushed against your ear as he spoke, “I can practically hear you throbbing.”
A soft whimper left you when his hand on your waist drifted to tug your pants down the slightest bit but never went farther without you answering. A few moments of silence passed, only interrupted by your soft pants, and he sighed in disappointment, his grip on your neck and waist slowly being removed.
Your eyes shot open from their closed state, you didn’t stop to think about when they had closed, and you grabbed his hands before they could leave your body. He looked at you expectantly and you opened and closed your mouth like a fish a few times before answering him with a soft and whispered: “I want it.”
His grip returned to your skin but his hand tugging your pants traveled back to your waist to draw little shapes there, tickling you just the slightest bit. “Oh dove, I’m proud of you for trying, but that’s not what I want.” His hand around your throat tightened pleasantly. “I want you to beg.”
Your eyes widened and you forced your cheeks to cool and swallowed your pride.
“Please?” You tried, weakly.
“Oh I know you can do better than that. Try again.” He didn’t say it as a suggestion.
With a deep breath and your hand, still around the wrist grabbing your neck, tightening, you did what he wanted.
You begged.
“Please, please I want it. I do, please, just… just do something, please! Anything! Please… P-please.”
He had a pleased smirk on his face as he leaned in so you were only a few inches apart. You could feel his breath on your neck with every exhale.
“How much do you want?” He taunted.
“Everything. Whatever you'll give me.” You told him with a tone of desperation.
He smirked and looked at you approvingly before crushing his lips against yours in a brutal kiss that sent you to cloud 9. Your hands traveled to his hair and you pulled on it roughly as you kissed back with just as much fervor. You felt him groan into the kiss and you grinned, but it soon faded as a moan formed when he pressed his fingertips to your core through your pants.
“My, my. All this just from kissing? You flatter me.” He spoke against your lips in a low tone. You knew exactly what he was talking about. You were absolutely soaked. The moment he started walking toward you, you felt the warmth in your core building and it hadn’t stopped since. Your head fell back against the wall and Void kissed down your neck to your collarbone, leaving bruises and hickeys in his wake. Applying more pressure, he dragged his hand up your core, pausing momentarily to draw tiny intense circles to your clit before using his hand to skillfully undo the buttons and pull your pants down. He broke the kiss to kneel down before you and look you straight in the eyes as he dragged the pants down your legs excruciatingly slowly. You hadn’t noticed previously but now realized your shoes were gone.
Who would’ve thought Void wouldn’t want dirty shoes on the mattress. Huh.
He stood back up to his full height and looked down at you as he rubbed your heat over your panties. He studied every expression you made and committed them to memory. His expression soon changed to one of annoyance, angry at the lack of skin to skin contact between the two of you. He ripped the undergarment into pieces before taking a step back to strip off his shirt. He paused just as he was about to step to you again.
You squirmed under his gaze as he gave you a long once over and his eyes stopped on yours. Another emotion in his eyes, one you couldn’t quite recognize, clouded over his lust temporarily. “What?” You asked self consciously and moved your hands to cover yourself, thinking he didn’t like your body.
Before your hands could even reach past your hips, he reached out and grabbed each wrist, ignoring your shocked gasp and pinned them against the wall beside your head. “Don’t ever fucking do that again. You’re insecure? You don’t think you’re attractive?” He taunted angrily. He pressed his lower body into yours, his rather large, clothed, erection pressing to your bare clit as he grinded it into you. You moaned and he leaned into your neck again, being much rougher than he was a minute ago. “Ya feel that? That is all you dove. You fucking did that to me. You do that to me wearing baggy clothes and no makeup. You do that to me fresh out of bed in the morning with your hair in knots. You’re doing that to me right now, trapped between me and the wall, a silly shirt covering your divine breasts and nothing else.” He bit down on your shoulder hard enough to draw blood and you let out a loud moan. “You’ll take responsibility for it soon enough.” He arranged your hands to touch and he grabbed them both with one hand, the other sliding down, spending time to caress your breasts and pinch your nipples through the thin shirt fabric. He moved lower and lower until he reached your heat and thrust two fingers in with no warning. Without even letting you adjust, not that you really needed to with how wet you were, he started pounding his fingers into you. You started moaning uncontrollably and struggled to get out of his grip to hold onto something. He humored you and released your hands. Immediately they fell to his shoulders and then wrapped around his neck to pull his face into your neck where he started to leave his love bites. He grabbed the back of your right thigh and lifted it, wrapping it around his waist which allowed him to hit deeper. With every thrust, he curled his fingers and they hit you right in your pleasure spot.
Soon enough you could feel a knot forming in your stomach. It built and built and you warned Void about what was incoming.
“Oh that’s right, cum on my fingers dove. Let me know who makes you feel this good. Stiles could never fuck you like this. He could never bring you to such pleasure. To the point where your every bone quakes and sings in an overwhelming amount of pleasure that I alone am giving you.” His grip on your waist tightened to the line bordering between pain and pleasure just as his thrusts sped up to a pace faster than you believed even possible.
“Cum.”
And you did just that. Your bones really did quake and sing with pleasure. Your body writhed and you thrust yourself against Void’s fingers, grinding yourself through your orgasm despite him not slowing down and riding you through too.
Your orgasm slowed down to a stop and you took a deep breath before another loud and unrestricted moan released during your exhale and you noticed Void had yet to stop or even slow down.
“Ah, st-slow do-down-! It’s-ah-it’s too much!” You begged and yet he just smirked and increased his pace.
“Oh sweetheart, isn’t this what you wanted? You told me you wanted everything, you wanted all of it.” You swallowed in a lust filled fear as he smirked even wider. “So darling, you are going to take all of it.”
He led you on to another orgasm by his fingers alone. Your puffy clit was begging for attention after being neglected for so long. When you reached your high, he slowed down and pulled his fingers out. You bit the inside of your cheek to stop from whining at the emptiness. He brought his fingers to his lips and stared you straight in the eyes as he brought them into his mouth and moaned at the taste.
You blushed and tried to look away until his free hand came up to grab your jaw roughly and force you to face him as he licked and sucked at his fingers, prolonging your embarrassment.
When he was satisfied with how much embarrassment he could feel radiating off you, he pulled his fingers out of his mouth with a pop before he grinned. His hands gently placed themselves on each of your hips and he leaned in until your lips barely grazed each other’s.
“That little taste just makes me want to have more. Which reminds me, I haven’t had my dinner yet. Do you mind?” You tried to lean forward and kiss him but he just leaned his head back until you gave an answer. You nodded your head no and he grinned.
“There’s my good girl.”
He leaned in and kissed you softly, so softly it distracted you from the hands on your hips traveling to your butt and quickly lifting you to wrap your legs around his waist. Without moving his feet an inch, the wall behind you suddenly disappeared and he threw you down onto the queen bed mattress. You landed with a small bounce.
You looked at him in shock and confusion but he just grinned and winked.
Teleportation. Huh. Must be a nogitsune thing.
He kneeled down in front of the bed and ripped your shirt off before grabbing your thighs to bring you to the edge. You yelped and stared as he lifted your legs over his shoulders, the backs of your knees curving over them. He gave another little wink before diving in.
You moaned as his lips finally gave attention to your clit and a shock of pleasure swarmed through your veins. Your head fell against the mattress and your eyes clenched shut when the euphoria became too much to your, still sensitive, core.
A loud slap and the stinging on your outer thigh caused you to flick your eyes open and look at the man between your legs.
“The next time you look away from me I will edge you for three new moons.” He spoke right against your cunt and you could feel the vibrations surging through your clit. With a moan, you nodded and adjusted yourself to lean on your elbows and look at him. He brought his tongue out to lick a long stride up your cunt and collected your slick in his mouth before going straight back into his meal.
You had no doubt he would stay true to his word if you looked away, so you kept your eyes firmly on him, despite every protest in your veins to close your eyes when it became too much.
When the coil in your gut built up again, he could feel you approaching your orgasm and looked you right in the eyes. You blushed and were so tempted to look away but he tightened his grip on your thighs in a warning.
You came again for the third time. You tried your best to keep your eyes on him but they fluttered shut every few seconds as he kept licking and sucking at your overstimulated clit.
When he seemed satisfied two mind blowing orgasms later, he climbed up your body, one of your legs falling to surround his waist while the other he kept suspended over his shoulder.
“You did so well. You’re such a good girl, following orders with no questions.” He kissed you and you could taste yourself on his tongue. “They don’t deserve you, they never did.” He murmured against your lips before his head traveled to the curve of your neck and shoulder.
He took his pants and boxers off in no time, rubbing the head of his cock through your slick folds and over your clit.
Your mind was racing with too many conflicting emotions to comprehend: want, fear, lust, panic. You looked down and saw him.
He was big. Bigger than any guy you’ve ever seen, not that that was many considering you were a virgin.
“I am going to ruin you. No one else will ever be able to make you feel the way I do. Every time you cum from this point on will be from my body, no one else's.” He spoke menacingly while he watched in awe as your overstimulated clit twitched whenever he ran the head of his dick across it. The mushroom tip of his cock caught along your entrance through every glide up and down until he stopped and pushed it fully in.
“Wait, wai-ngh!” You tried but got interrupted by your own moan when he thrusted all the way in to the hilt, his tip pressed against your cervix in a mind blanking way. The sting of the stretch was there but was completely oversighted by the immense pleasure that came with it. You gasped at the feeling and wrapped your arms around his shoulder to scratch at his back. His back quickly covered in nail marks and marks of ash and burned skin.
You gasped in horror at the unwilled release of your fire until he moaned loudly - filled with both pleasure at the pain and entrance of your slick walls. Any sounds he had tried to hide completely spilled out. “Shit, keep doing that d-dove. Mark me all you want. Make me yours. F-feels so good; you’re so tight. Are you a virgin or something? You’re squeezing me to death, I don’t know how much longer I can take with you so tight around me.”
You froze at the accusation and turned your head the opposite of his, not answering his question.
A sigh escaped you when he started leaving kisses on your neck, slowly dragging out of your entrance before entering back just as slowly. An elongated moan left your mouth when he hit a certain spot on his way back in.
“Oh it’s alright my sweet girl. This just means I’m able to take another thing Stiles has been longing for. If only I was able to take your first kiss too.”
You almost missed what he said when he snapped his hips into yours harder and you sputtered unintelligible words at the movement.
“He-agh-he what?” You asked him as he left a soft bite on your clavicle.
“Oh yeah, I don’t think there was a corner of his mind that wasn’t filled with the idea of you. Poor little Stiles couldn’t stop imagining you like this.” He mocked. “He would’ve fucked you with your chest to the bed and you ass sticking up all nice and pretty but I don’t think you’d like that, would you sweet girl?”
Your heart skipped as he rose to look into your eyes. “No, I don't think you would.” He roughly snapped his hips to yours again before putting on a mock sympathetic look. “You want them to look at you as you’re getting pleasure you’ve never before received.” Another harsh thrust and you moaned loudly which he silenced by sticking two fingers in your mouth and pressing down on your tongue. Your lips immediately wrapped around his and you grazed your teeth along the sensitive skin. He tasted like salt and your cum along with a hint of blood. “You want that skin to skin contact as they bring you within an inch of your life and back.” Another thrust. “You want someone to make love to you, no fucking around.”
You moaned especially loud at that. You didn’t want to lose your virginity for something that wasn’t going to mean anything. You’ve known Void for less than two days and yet you feel more connected with him than all the McCall pack combined. It seems he feels the same way from how he’s talking.
“I'm the one who took your first time, and I will be the one to look into your eyes as you receive the pleasure I am giving you; I will be the skin you feel against your own as I move inside you;” He paused for a second as he leaned down and took one of your nipples into his mouth, biting softly on the nub, and smiling as you whimpered in return. “I will be the one to make love to you.”
You grabbed the hand thats fingers were in your mouth and pulled them out before grabbing his cheeks between and pulling him into an aggressive kiss. You whimpered and moaned as he sped up, reaching deeper and deeper with every thrust. The hand that was once in your mouth traveled down your body slowly, smearing your saliva across your nipples as he played with them before settling against your clit. Just the slightest graze from his fingers made your spine arch up into his chest in anticipation and pleasure. He started rubbing figure eights into the pleasure bud, matching them with the pace of his thrusts.
Your lips opened in a moan and Void took the opportunity to shove his tongue against yours. He took control of the kiss instantly and rubbed his tongue along every inch of the inside of your mouth, exploring it like looking for treasure marked on a treasure map.
You tried to speak and warn him about your upcoming orgasm but you couldn’t drive his mouth away from yours, needing to breathe in through your nose every minute or so so you didn’t pass out. He pressed the fingers against your clit down harder as if to encourage you to cum and and you came beautifully. It was the most intense orgasm you’ve experienced tonight if not ever. Your body was shaking in exhaustion after the multiple orgasm you’d received within the last 30 minutes, or was it closer to 2 hours? You weren’t sure but honestly didn’t care. You could feel by the way Void broke the kiss and pushed his head into the crook of your neck along with the tensing of his back muscles that he was nearing his orgasm as well.
Then it occured to you, this whole time he was using no protection.
And you weren’t on birth control.
“N-no-agh-you gotta pull o-out. ‘Might get pre-ngh-pregnant. I’m not on birth c-control.” You focused all your energy on speaking despite the overwhelming overstimulating feeling of him driving his dick into your cervix and his thumb making you lose every thought that came to your head with his torturous but amazing touches.
He suddenly came to a complete stop inside of you. His dick twitched as the only sounds heard were your heavy breath and whines of complaint despite your better judgment.
“You’re not on birth control?” He asked into your neck, skimming his lips along your carotid artery.
“No.” You whispered.
You felt him grin that same evil grin you’ve seen before against your neck before biting down hard on your neck and withdrawing his hips from yours. You cried out at the feelings of pain and emptiness overflowing your senses.
“You don’t wanna have my babies, is that it?” He whispered into your neck with a tone that sounded almost heartbroken. You knew it was fake yet something in you just wanted to comfort him.
“N-no that’s not-”
He sat up abruptly, his cock now only half an inch in your entrance. The leg that rested on his shoulder fell to surround his waist with the other one and he sat back on his heels while grabbing your hips. His face looked so sad as he gazed down at you and yet his eyes seemed to hold a completely different emotion.
“Why not, dove? I’d give you everything.” His grip on your hips tightened and he slowly pulled your hips into his using only the strength of his arms. He slid back into you easily and his tip settled against a spot that had your eyes rolling into the back of your head and mouth opening in a low moan. Void grinned as he saw your reaction before returning to the pitiful look as he drew his hips back out again. His lips quirked up the slightest bit as you whined out. Pulling your hips into his roughly, he kept you there as you moaned louder. “I mean, if you really want me to stop…” He slowly started retreating out of your warmth as he trailed off before your arms wrapped around his neck.
“No!” You yelled before whispering almost like an echo, “No.” You breathed heavily in his ear, sputtering as you tried to get the next sentence out with his tip prodding against your cervix ever so delightfully. “Please don’t stop, y-you just can’t c-cum inside.”
He thrusted roughly into you again and your arms lost all strength as the mind blowing pleasure took over your mind. He repeated that cycle. Slowly pull out, roughly snap back in. Over and over and over. It made you whimper and cry out every time, wishing he would just bring you to the ecstacy you’ve been nearing instead of leaving you teetering on the edge of relief.
“Oh you feel so good baby, gonna cum, gonna cum, gonna cum.” He repeated like a mantra as his hips fastened and he pushed into you even harder.
Your mind was fogging over as you finally got the pleasure you needed to reach your orgasm. You barely had the strength to move your tongue and speak out your protests that were weakening by the second, you actually wanted his cum. You want it to be spilling out as you stand up, soaking your underwear as you walk around. You just were so scared of being pregnant. Your sister got pregnant when she was around your age. Your mother completely freaked when she found out and banished - yes, banished - her from the house forever.
Would Void stay? You still weren’t exactly sure what his intentions with you were. Was he going to kill you after this? Was he going to make you pregnant and leave you alone to raise the child on your own?
Apparently, Void could sense the onslaught of fear and panic creeping into your mind because he shoved his face into your neck and dug the pads of his fingers into your hips even harder. There was surely going to be a bruise the next coming day.
“Oh you’re going to look so good pregnant with my kids. God it just makes me so hard thinking about it. I wonder what they’ll look like, will they have your eyes or mine? God I hope they have yours so I can stare into them all day no matter where I am. This is the one thing I need to do to make you mine. You gonna let me make you mine, Dove? You gonna let me cum inside?” His pace slowed to a comforting, intimate pace. It brought you even closer to the edge just thinking he liked you enough to stay, maybe even loved you from how he was thrusting into you now.
You took a few moments to think about it before your mouth outran your thoughts. “Yes! Yes, Void, please. Please fill me up.”
He kissed your neck softly as his pace fastened again but still kept the intimacy from before. He pushed back the hood of your clit and started rubbing harshly on the overstimulated puffy bud of pleasure, making you lose all coherent thoughts and abilities to do anything but moan out his name. With a stuttered thrust, he pushed in all the way and came inside you. The feeling was enough to make you fall over the edge right with him. You both laid there in each-others arms while you tried to catch your breathing.
Void caught his a lot faster.
With a chuckle, and his dick as hard as when you started, he grabbed both of your legs, raising them so they were resting on his shoulders and he had you in the mating press and pressed your thighs against your breasts as he thrust into you with no reprieve. He pulled out of you before pushing back in, a torturously slow pace that made your body writhing and squirming. You gasped at the feeling and squirmed in his hold from the overstimulation. This new position made it so he hit your g-spot on every thrust in with no effort. As he brought one hand down to your clit again and rubbed so deliciously hard and slow, just like the pace he had set for his thrusts into you, you couldn’t take it anymore and came yet again. He had brought you to another orgasm in less than 2 minutes.
“Oh, you didn’t think we were done yet, did you, Dove? We have to make sure it sticks, don’t we baby? Gotta get you nice and knocked up with my kids. We can’t just stop now.”
With each slow thrust and the overstimulation, it didn’t take long before you came again and Void had the biggest smirk on his face as he watched you.
“V-void! P-ple-I can-can’t take anymore. I can't, I can't, I can't!”
He just laughed at you and your protesting words, capturing your hands that were weakly trying to push him away and forcing them to stay above your head where they were restricted of all movement. He pressed down even harder on your clit and you let out a yelp of a moan as you could feel another knot forming. “Darling, you don’t get to decide what’s too much. I'm in charge here, Dove, and you’re done when I say you’re done. You’ll take as much as I give you.”
His words turned you on so much more which surprised you as you didn’t think you could be any more turned on. You came once more and could tell by how Void’s face scrunched up in pleasure that he was reaching his limit as well. His dick pulsed inside of you, each vein had a throbbing heartbeat that struck so painfully good against your walls.
“One more, just one more, Dove. Give me one more.” He groaned out as he held his own orgasm back and rubbed rigorously at your clit while his pace increased to an unfathomable level. Finally, as you came yet again, Void released inside of you again.
He collapsed on top of you, his head landing on your chest, pillowed by your breasts. He sucked one of your nipples into his mouth as his slick fingers resumed their torture of your extremely overstimmulated clit. They rubbed slowly but it felt so much more intense than all the previous times that he had brought you pleasure. It burned in the best way possible.
“One more, come on, I know you have one more in you.” He encouraged, again. It seemed like he would just never stop.
He was utterly insatiable.
You came once more for the final time of the night and Void rewarded you with kisses scattered all across your chest for all of your efforts.
With your eyes barely able to remain open. and your limbs drained of any energy, Void looked at you with a soft look and gathered you in his arms. He grabbed the blanket that had been kicked off during the time of your… activities, and covered the both of you with it.
With his cock still deep inside of you, keeping everything he spent trapped within you, he whispered, “Good night, Dove,” and pressed a kiss to your temple. That night, you fell asleep wrapped in his arms, feeling more safe and at home than you have ever been before.
835 notes · View notes
scramratz · 19 days
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Rant abt your Cds I'm curious
OK HERE GOES SCRAMS 2024 CD COLLECTION TIER LIST
(Disclaimer: these are just my personal opinions and if yours differ from mine, fine. It’s not a sin to be wrong)
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S TIER-
Goo-Sonic Youth: Straight bangers all the way through. Girls love it when you show them your Sonic Youth cd. Extra points cuz the pamphlet unfolds into a sick poster
Midnight Vultures-Beck: Good album to clean the house to. Every song a banger. Beck as a person sets off alarms, though 🤔
Vivadixiesubmarinetransmissionplot-Sparklehorse: Genuinely my favorite artist and album of all time. Fall asleep to Homecoming Queen often.
Siamese Dream-Smashing Pumpkins: Fire straight though. Good when you’re in a depressed 20-something mood. Better than Mellon Collie in my humble opinion.
Gorillaz-Gorillaz: The start of one of my favorite bands and objectively one of the best bands in the world don’t fight me on it I’ll kill you.
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A TIER-
Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots-The Flaming Lips: Solid album. Iconic cover art. “Do You Realize??” always got me feeling feelings
Violent Femmes-Violent Femmes: Top 3 favorite band. Every song went platinum in my household. Would have been higher but reminds me of my mom too much.
Dig Me Out- Sleater-Kinney: Got it because the name sounded familiar. Ended up loving them! Doesn’t sound right if it’s not played loud, though, and considering I live in an apartment, I don’t play it often.
Fear Yourself-Daniel Johnston: Got it because I love “Hi, How Are You” but haven’t been able to find it anywhere. Was pleasantly surprised! Hits the same melancholy spot but slightly more upbeat.
Figure 8-Elliot Smith: My favorite sad boy that definitely DIDN’T kill himself. Not my favorite Elliot album but every one of his albums is A tier personally.
The Diary of Alicia Keys-Alicia Keys: WENT QUADRUPLE PLATINUM IN OUR HOUSEHOLD. Prime cleaning the house on Sunday music. Dragon Days is seriously underrated.
Garbage-Garbage: Don’t know how to say this without sounding insane but this album sounds like the color #DC007F and I like that color a lot
2-Mac Demarco: The CHOKEHOLD Mac Demarco had on us artschool bitches in 2016 OMG. Was gonna change my name to Viceroy
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B TIER-
Money for Nothing- Dire Straits: Top tier dad music.
Lumine fever- The Adrenals: Got it cuz the cover looked cool. Was pleasantly surprised! They rock the adequate amount
Rocket to Russia- Ramones: They’re good but I don’t get the hype honestly. They’re the Flavor-Aid of Punk
Starfish- The Church: Only love one song on it, the only song anyone likes tbh. The rest are your standard 80s deal
Crooked Rain-Pavement: I really love Pavement but there is a thing as too much Pavement and I think I’ve reached it
Yankee Hotel Foxtrot-Wilco: Honestly should have been in A tier but all the pretentious music dudes I’ve met has soured this album for me so it goes in B outta spite. Jesus Etc my fave song tho
An Evening with Silk Sonic- Silk Sonic: Nice, short, gets me in a happy mood. Does what it needs to do!
Prolonging the Magic- Cake: John McCrea don’t really be singing, do he? He just fancy talkin
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C TIER-
Gigantic, Fuel, and The Nixons: I got all 3 on sale and they all sound the same and that sound is…ok? Like it’s alright background music
Blind Melon-Blind Melon: What was with 90’s bands putting random kids as their album covers? Decent listen, though.
Summerteeth-Wilco: Good background music. I can’t remember any songs off it.
Los Angeles/Wild Gift-X: I like X but I hate that fucking album art omg it’s so hard to look at. I like their songs individually but as a cohesive album, eh.
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D TIER-
Throwing Copper-Live: bought it on sale with the above 3 but liked this one substantially less. Only redeeming quality to me is the album art.
Ben Folds Five-Ben Folds Five: Misleading considering there’s only 3 of them. He sounds like my ex boyfriend from highschool before I realized I liked girls
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F Tier-
The Ragetones/Fall Apart-The Ragetones: Saw them play at a shitting basement show. Everything sounds better when you can barely hear yourself think.
F Punk-Big Audio Dynamite: Found it at the thrift and rehomed it outta pity. Sounds like the 80s in a bad way.
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imthebadguyyy · 7 months
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Arms
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pairing : sirius black x reader
fandom : marauders/hp
synopsis : sirius realizes there's no place that feels more like home than your arms.
warnings : self depreciating thoughts, insecurity
a/n : felt like wandering into the realm of the marauders! do let me know if you want more :) inspired mildly by francesca by Hozier
sirius sat with james, while remus and peter sat across from them, both pouring liberal amounts of gravy onto their plates. james was also digging into an obnoxiously large amount of roast potatoes and chicken, barely pausing for a breath as he scarfed down the food.
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
the great hall was not buzzing with the sound of students chattering as it usually did, and the sound remained at the decibel of a small hive of bees, while the professors murmured softly at the grand table, the munch of the many treats laid on the table for the christmas eve dinner.
sirius himself didn't feel that hungry, fork half heartedly poking at the beans on his plate. his eyes roamed around the hall, taking in the tiny mass of people at the other tables, and at dumbledore pulling mice out of his purple witches hat - his christmas special.
that very morning, his owl had dropped off a rather nasty howler from his darling mother, once again choosing to call him a colourful variety of insults and ending with her usual "disgrace and traitor to the black boodline" bullshit, followed by a chorus of "mixing with mudbloods and muggles" that had him clenching his fists in frustration.
then, his father orion had also decided to grace him with a scathing letter he burned the moment he received, but not before catching the words "shame to my bloodline", which once again had him sighing and rubbing the sore spot on his temples.
he had ignored it initially, focusing instead on the beautiful hand knitted scarf, golden watch and basket of sweets and treats he had received from euphemia and fleamont, with a small engraved gryffindor lion at the back of the watch.
he had also received a leather jacket from you, and homemade strawberry pies that you had made with help from the elves in the kitchen, and a set of silver rings to go with his pre existing ones.
remus had gifted him a muggle record called rumors from a band called Fleetwood Mac, that you had freaked out over and told him you'd listen to together because they were your favourite band ever and you'd be damned if he discovered your favourites on the album without you.
james himself had bought him bundles full off tricks and games from hogsmeade, and a framed picture of the marauders, along with a small replica of his own quidditch jersey because, "everyone has to know you're my number one fan pads!"
even marlene had gifted him a bunch of chocolate frogs, and mary had got him a postcard from venezuela and chocolate because her parents were visiting. lily had sent him muggle posters of his favorite bands as well.
but despite the merriment, the niggling insecurity of not being enough played on his mind the whole time, creeping like a shadow, insecurity slithering through the corridors of his mind, casting doubts where there once was light.
his mind was spiralling, as he looked at his plate, gulping as a sudden lump appeared in his throat. james was reading a letter from his mum to remus and peter, telling him about their travels in egypt, and peters mum had sent sweets for them to share at dinner.
oh how he longed for a mom who would write him sweet letters and send him sugary treats instead of venom coated words and flame bursting letters, a father who would teach him how to tie his tie properly for class, or tell him tales of his childhood.
sirius longed for a family to love and hold him always. and the closest he had to that was you and james.
as his thoughts turned to you, he was distracted by a sudden crash as the doors were flung open, as you rushed in, followed by the two friends with whom you sang as part of the hogwarts band, your red robes flaring as you rushed to find your spot beside him at the table.
with a pant, you flung yourself down, taking heaving breaths to calm your racing heart.
"well hello little miss" james said through a mouthful of peas, making you scrunch your nose in disapproval. "where were ya?" remus asked, piling on food onto your plate before it changed course.
"i was at band practice! we just lost track of time and then had to rush because we were so hungry!" you exclaimed, while your hands reached for sirius' under the table, taking his cold palm in yours, squeezing it tenderly to get the blood flow back in them, bringing it up for a quick peck to the knuckles before interlacing his fingers with yours.
sirius felt his heart physically slow down as he watched you, laughing a joke remus made, poking fun at james and messing around with peter. he watched as you cut the roasted potatoes into smaller chunks, dipping them in extra butter as you popped them into your mouth, and the way your eyes sparkled when you smiled.
he watched the way your hair fell, little strands framing your face as you brushed them off impatiently, all while leaning forward for a slice of a chocolate tart and icecream that had just appeared.
he watched as you put a slice of apple pie on his plate, topping it with a healthy dollop of cream, and passing it to him with a saccharine sweet smile and a murmur of "your favourite siri!" and he felt his heart flutter again.
what he didn't note was the crease in your eyebrow as you looked at your friend, the darl circles under his eyes, the slight stoop to his posture, the way his smile came out forced, lips pressed tight together with none of his gorgeous smile lines appearing around his eyes and lips.
he failed to note the way you drew a sharp breath when you felt the rough skin of his palms, coarse from all the times he dug his nails into the delicate skin to control the rage and hurt he felt at his family. the way your eyes softened as you looked at him, the way his lack of obnoxiously lewd jokes and quick wit made him look so vulnerable that it shattered your heart into a million pieces.
after the crackers were pulled and you had packed up a "grow your own warts" kit and many a butterbeer flavoured candy and a few white mice, he squeezed your hand again, gesturing towards the gryffindor common room, leaving the boys chatting with a few members of the ravenclaw quidditch team who had stayed back for christmas as well.
murmuring the password to the fat lady, you stumbled into the common room with sirius, who had his arm wrapped tightly around your waist. you sunk into your favourite armchair, and giggled when sirius fell into you with a muffled "thump"
even though you were 'just friends', you knew him better than anyone else and he knew it as well as you did.
the cozy red armchair with its plush cushioning looked as inviting as ever as he settled into it, legs haphazardly tossed over yours. affection was a major part of your relationship with sirius, having become fast friends since the first year at hogwarts.
ever since you were joint at the hip, bonding over a shared love of music, shared comfort in silence, shared trauma and a love for leather. you were as much a part of the marauders as any of the other boys, and sirius couldn't quite point to the time when you had become such fast friends.
he buried his head into the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply, absorbing the lilting notes of vanilla and shea, and fiddling with the loose strands of hair at the base of your neck. you hummed softly, some melody that had been playing on your mind, hands gently running through his dark locks, nails scratching softly at his scalp.
"you okay?" you asked, noting the tenseness of his shoulder muscles, and the still present frown between his eyebrows.
a non commital shrug was the only response.
worry began to seep into your mind, surprised at how your usually bubbly bestfriend was decidedly unbubbly.
"you don't seem okay babe" you stated, lifting his chin so he was looking at you.
his stormy gray eyes reflected doubt and insecurity dancing like lightning, casting shadows of uncertainty that loomed deep in his mind.
to your surprise, tears welled up in his eyes, mirroring raindrops, poignant with a tempest of emotions swirling within, creating a tumultuous scene of vulnerability and insecurity.
"oh sweetheart.." you cooed softly, shuffling so he was engulfed in your arms. you felt him bury his face deeper into your neck, clinging to you desperately as if he was worried you'd disappear into thin air.
"talk to me honey" you whispered, trying to coax him out of his hiding place.
just as he opened his mouth to speak, the door to the common room swung open and remus james and peter trooped in, followed by a few other gryffindors.
they stopped short, taking in the scene before them, their best mate in tears in the arms of the girl he loved who happened to be his best friend.
"mate are you-" james began, only to be cut off by a glare from remus.
"who don't you go up to our dorm y/n? I'll make sure no one goes up" remus said, staring at your pointedly, offering a soft smile to you when you nodded.
"i think we'll take you up on the offer, is that okay with you siri?" you asked, still softly stroking his hair.
he nodded against you, and followed you silently as you took his hand in yours and draped an arm around his torso, pressing a kiss to his temple as you led him up the winding staircase to the boys dormitory.
as soon as you were inside, you led him over to his bed, gently pushing him down so he was sitting, eyes looking unseeingly at the posters and polaroids that graced his headboard.
with worried eyes, you watched his gaze flicker back and forth, trying to fight back the tears that threatened to spill over.
"talk to me siri, im right here" you cooed, kneeling down in front of him, hands resting on his knees, drawing tiny circles with your pinky over the material of his robes.
"are you here with me love?" you asked, watching the black in his pupils darken as he spaced out. you watched as he jolted a little, looking at you almost alarmed, before the tears began to drip down his cheeks.
the first drop had you sprinting into his arms, wrapping your own tightly around him, kicking your shoes off as you squeezed him tight, knees resting in between his own, as he sobbed into your chest.
you'd seen him cry before, but never like this. broken sobs spilled from his salty lips, dampening the material of your robes, and small choked sounds escaped his lips, along with deep strangled breaths as he gripped your waist to keep himself grounded.
he cried for what seemed like hours while you whispered sweet reassurances to him, kissing his cheeks, his nose, his forehead and his hands, placing his hand on your chest to feel the steady beating of your heart.
"m' right here darling, let it all go, I've got you, i promise, I'll be right here to hold you honey" you whispered to him, rocking him back and forth like a child.
sirius gripped you even tighter, clinging to you as if you were his lifeline.
eventually, his sobs slowed,and he pulled back, eyes red and swollen and face glistening with tears. even when his hair was messy and he looked like a wreck, he looked ethereal.
"oh my beautiful boy" you said, kissing the top of his head. "tell me what you need" you said, interlacing your hands.
"you, just need you" he said, and the way his broke on the word 'you' shattered your heart into a million pieces.
"just give me one second darling, okay?" you said, walking into their bathroom and taking out a clean handkerchief from your pocket. you soaked it in some water, bringing it back to him, gently wiping his eyes and then his face with it, leaving kisses on every spot you cleaned for him, before taking a comb from his nightstand and slowly untangling the mess that his hair was.
sirius watched as you combed his hair, eyebrows furrowed in attention, and he swore his heart fell even more for you.
"d'ya think you can tell me what's wrong sugar?" you asked, biting you lip when he flashed you a smile at the nickname.
"yeah" he nodded, tugging you down so you were cuddled into his side. "oh wait!" you exclaimed, fishing some chocolate out your pocket and offering a piece.
he took it with a smile, letting it melt on his tongue as he looked at you.
you were now snuggled into his shoulder, your ankle intertwined with his as you lay across from him, hand gently holding his, as his other hand traced patterns on your hip.
"darling mother of mine sent me a howler this morning for a christmas present" he said with a dry chuckle.
"did she now?" you said, anger simmering deep in your bones. "yeah, and then sperm donator sent me a lovely letter as well" he said, chuckling a little at his own nickname for his father.
"mmhmm" you said, tracing his thumb.
"yeah, jus' caught me off guard" he mumbled
"you do know that whatever they say is not true, right?" you asked, looking straight into his eyes.
"yeah but- fuck, darling, it gets hard sometimes. sometimes I feel like I am a traitor and failure. sometimes i feel like I'm not worthy of being a human, I'm not worthy of being a friend, I'm not worthy of being loved i-" he broke off, looking at the ceiling.
"you are more than just a name, sirius. you are worthy of being loved. you are worthy of being human, and you are worthy enough to have friends who care about you" you said firmly, forcing him to look back at you.
"it just hurts me sometimes" he admitted
"i know sweetheart" you cooed again. you felt like no words you said were enough when it came to this topic.
"am i really worthy of being loved?" he asked suddenly, turning his face to look at you.
"of course" you said. the silence got louder for a moment. "siri?" you asked, voice lighter than honeycomb.
"theres something Ive been wanting to tell you" he got out in a rush. "ever since we met on the train on our way here, from the tender age of eleven, my heart silently declared its allegiance to you. each passing day has been a testament to a love that started as a whisper and has grown into a resounding echo in my soul. darling, with every sunrise and every moonlit night, my affection for you deepens, as if there's an infinite well within me, filling with the boundless affection i hold for you. you are the constant melody in the symphony of my existence, and i fall harder for you with each beat of my heart" he said, turning to look at you.
you felt tears welling in your own eyes, and it only felt right when you leaned forward, pressing your soft lips to his slightly chapped ones.
to him, you tasted of strawberries and cocoa, warm and sweet and oh so extravagant, a taste so luxurious he couldn't get enough of it.
to you, he tasted of cigarette smoke, mint and cocoa, an intoxicating taste you couldn't get enough of
his lips pressed deeper against yours, hand grasping your waist tightly, pulling you flush against him, as he poured all his love and passion out for you.
time stopped, the world slowed and your heartbeat dropped to the lowest of lows. relaxed. calm. loved.
finally, when your lungs began to burn from the lack of oxygen, you drew away, chests heaving as you looked at each other.
a slight flush lay on his cheeks, tinges of red littering his cheekbones. you could feel a heat thrumming in your own cheeks, and your heart felt like it was racing a million miles an hour.
"i don't know how long I've waited to say that to you" he breathed out, nuzzling his nose to yours.
"since our shared days at eleven, my heart has been a clandestine haven for the enchantment you brought into my life. you don't know how happy you made me with this. in the quiet dance of our days, my affection for you has blossomed into a resplendent garden, and with every sunrise, I find myself immersed deeper in the captivating allure of our love. you are the symphony that resonates in my heart, and i cherish you always" you told him, pressing a kiss to the swell of his cheekbone.
sirius felt his cheeks burn a deep red, and he tilted your lips up to press a searing kiss to them again.
"i love you" he gasped against your lips, drawing you closer to him.
"i love you too" you murmured against his lips moulding your body to him.
and as sirius lay there in your arms, pressing kisses as sweer and delicate as spun sugar against every part of your body but especially your lips, he realised there was no other place that felt more like home than your arms.
you.
you were his home.
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
a/n : I've missed writing so much!! i really hope you enjoy this, and as always likes reblogs comments opinions etc are appreciated!! sending u all love and happiness and remember, my inbox is always open and i love making new friends!! marauders is a new field for me but if u have any reqs/ideas please do send in asks! happy reading ☺️♥️
TAGS
general : @roslastyles420 @hopeful in love @bluesongbird
TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST SEND ME AN ASK OR A DM SPECIFYING WHICH FANDOM ❤️
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jewbeloved · 7 months
Text
How would the guys confess to you on Valentine's Day 💌
Note: This is 3 days late I know, I was on a writers block and I was having a fever and I kept throwing up in the progress while my stomach hurted and I missed a day to go to school on Wednesday to do my test because of that. And now I got a massive headache, everything is just spinning at once I can't take it anymore. 😭
Warnings: Absolutely none.
Characters used: The main boys.
Gender: Neutral
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💙 Stan Marsh 💠
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Man wants to confess to you on Valentine's Day, he literally be eyeing his calendar and keeping track of the days leading up to Valentine's Day.
But when the day actually comes?
Oh sh!t, he's already in a panic. He doesn't know what to give to you or how to even approach you in general to confess.
He went to Kyle for advice and even practicing his confession for you with him. He knows Valentine's Day can be a really special day for your friends and s/os.
He doesn't want to mess up or make things awkward by vomiting all over you like how he did when he was with Wendy :(
He probably might go with basic presents such as: chocolate, teddy bear, etc.
He will confess to you behind the school just in case his confession goes up in flames and he doesn't want other people to see.
"Uhm, Hi..(Name)...I know it's Valentine's Day and all....and I was just wondering if you wanted to be my valentine...". 💙💙💙💙💙💙
💚 Kyle Broflovski ☘️
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Jews aren't supposed to have valentines-
Just kidding.
But seriously though every time this boy has a love interest it always ends up in a complete dumpster fire for him. (Not Cartman being the man cause for it anyways).
You and him have been good friends for a good couple of months and Valentine's Day has finally arrived.
This is his moment to shine and he won't let anyone ruin it for him, not even the fatass-.
He already got a big 4ft sized teddy bear with a heart box that has your favorite candy or sweet inside it. He also got you both matching outfits to wear if you accept his confession.
He probably might want to confess to you in the park near a big tree. (Yeah, classic romance confessions)
Please accept this boy's confession, it will literally make him the happiest jew in south park.
"Hi (Name)! I hope nobody else has confessed to you...or maybe they have. But I just wanted to ask you if you could be my valentine for this holiday".
❤️ Eric Cartman 🔥
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Cartman is mysteriously preping for something and not being an ass as his usual routine?
I wonder what's on his mind.........probably you.
He obviously doesn't know what to get you for Valentine's Day and he probably doesn't care so he will just get whatever he feels you might like. He forced his mom to buy the presents though! :3
He probably wants to confess to you because you're the only person besides his mom who puts with his psychotic behavior and rude nature.
And probably because you don't make fun of him for being fat😭
The confession will be in his room because he doesn't want the guys ripping on him for having a soft spot for you.
He will confess in the mostly lazily and cheesy way in the first half before actually being honest with his confession.
"So it's Valentine's Day huh? This makes me feel like I am gay if I was doing this for the guys, but since it's just only you (Name), I don't mind it. As anyone would tell their s/o, will you be my valentine?".
🧡 Kenny Mccormick 🧸
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He's poor asf how do you think he can afford even a gift for you?
He feels so sad at the times you give him something and he can't gift you anything in return due to him being the poorest kid in south park.
So instead of buying something, he tries to make a homemade gift for you with whatever he can find (He cleans the material he's using if he finds something useful out of the trash).
Definitely sneaked around alleyways and stole some spare changes from homeless guys so he can use it to at least get you a candy or snack he can afford.
Same as Kyle, he will confess to you in the park while bringing the homemade gifts and snacks he got you.
He wanted this confession to be special like the holiday itself so he took a bath in the river (without soap) and fixed up in his hair a little, not a lot though.
He decided to wear his Princess Kenny outfit afterwards.
"Mmmmm...mmmphmmmmhmmphmmmmmmmmhmmp!" (Im sorry Name...I know this isn't much since I'm poor and I can't gift the same amount you do for me and my family, but it's the least I could to repay my gratitude! Will you be my valentine?).
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A new banner for my new south park Masterlist that I will be making soon.
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luveline · 9 months
Note
jadey would you please mind giving us more of kbd!steve this season? xxxx
kbd dad!steve and mom!reader fight over christmas pyjamas, 1.4k
“I don't know what you want me to say.” 
Steve frowns deeply at you. Another haircut, another day more handsome than before, he pulls off everything, but not… 
“Say you like them,” he demands, hooking his thumbs in his pyjama top and pulling it outwards to properly show you the front. 
Steve is wearing Christmas pyjamas. The Grinch from The Grinch Who Stole Christmas in all his scrooge glory grins at you evilly against a red background. The pants are white, patterned by red and green drawings of the Grinch holding a Christmas present. He looks much happier from your husband's thighs than the long sleeved shirt. 
“Babe, they have cuffs. We're gonna be warm all day,” he says. 
“They don't match,” you say, pointing to the Grinch on his leg, who holds a pink gift wrapped in yellow ribbon. “Maybe it's the pink and red throwing me off.” 
His frown turns to a pout, the almond shape of his warm brown eyes at a downturn as he says, “You really don't like them.” 
You crack like a weak walled chestnut over a flame. “I'm kidding! I'm just messing with you, baby, I love them. They're so Christmas-sy. Did you get some for me?” 
His relief is palpable. “I got some for everyone.” 
Steve got matching pyjamas for himself, you, the kids, and Robin. He shows you them from a bag on the kitchen table, where you ooh and aah reluctantly. You love him, love everything he does, but you're finally on your holidays vacation and you'd wanted to spend as much of it sitting down as possible. Not that sitting down is possible at home, but you digress. 
Steve senses your reluctance with a grumble pressed into the back of your neck, his arms grabbing you from behind. “Alright, I get it! You hate me and your kids and you hate Christmas most of all, whatever. I should've married Tammy Thompson.” 
You laugh and lean forward over his arms. “Tammy Thompson wouldn't have wanted a thing to do with you, H, on account of you being a cruel, know-it-all narcissist who forces his exhausted wife off of the couch at every opportunity he–” 
“Alright, that's enough.” 
Steve squeezes you until you're pleading with him to let you go, a riot of giggles forced from your lungs as he digs his hands into your sides, his fingers practically drilled into your ribs. You call for mercy and he ignores it, muttering about narcissism in your ear. He laughs as you laugh, can't keep up the act. 
“Beg for me to stop,” he says. 
“Stop!” you say, trying to pull his arms off of your stomach. “Steve, stop it!” 
“Say you'll wear the pyjamas.” 
“Steve! I'll wear them! Would you–” 
“Get off of her!” Bethie shouts, barrelling into the room to push at her dad's legs. 
It's so unlike Beth to shout that you both immediately stop fighting. For a split second, you think she's worried that Steve was actually hurting you, but then she laughs as she punches him in the thigh and sticks herself between your breathless bodies, two small arms extended to keep you apart. 
When she's sure Steve is done, she wraps her arms around you, looking up into your face with a big smile. “Saved you, mom.” 
“You saved me,” you agree, bending down to hug her, “thank you, sweetheart, thank you.” You drop tens of kisses into her hair and face, so many that Steve makes a show of huffing.
“Beth, she deserved it,” he says. “She doesn't wanna wear our matching jammies. Don't you wanna do that?” 
She looks at him with those big sorry eyes only young children can master. “Yeah, dad, but…” 
“But what?” 
“But she's my mom.” 
You pull one of the kitchen chairs out and sit down, patting your lap for her to climb up and sit with you. “But I'm her mom,” you sing-song, ever so slightly smug. 
“And I'm, what? Cat food?” 
“Don't listen to him, baby, he's just jealous.” 
Steve turns away from you both, showfully miffed. Bethie giggles and turns into your chest. “He's mad,” she laughs. 
“So mad.” You drop your nose into the side of her cheek. 
“Are we still having a treat tonight?” she asks. 
“Of course we are. It's Christmas! Mom's home, daddy's catching up on his sleep, we're all having cake and ice cream and chocolates until we can't eat anymore,” you promise. 
“Wish you were home all the time.” 
“Me too, baby,” you say, rubbing her cheek with the tip of your nose slowly. “I wish you could come to work with me. That would be so fun. But we have to make the most of our time away, yeah? Let's have lots and lots of fun.” 
“I saved you,” she says, “so maybe I can have extra cake.” 
“Beth. You can have as much as you want tonight, I promise.” 
“I love Christmas,” she decides. 
Steve rushes back into the kitchen with a child under each arm. Dove laughs, her eyes practically sparkling, not a care in the world though she's upside down, and Avery clings to Steve's waist, shouting, “Dad, put me down!” through nervous giggles. 
“Tell mom what I told you,” he says. 
“Dad, I'm slipping!” 
“Avery, you're not slipping. I'm frankly insulted that you think I would drop you. Now tell your mother what we said.” 
“Daddy's not a nar-pasit!” Dove says joyfully. “He's a sweetheart.” 
“He's a huge narcissist,” you correct in a similar tone. 
“He's dropping me!” Avery cries. 
Steve shakes her until she screams. “I am not! For Christ's sake, I can curl you like two pound weight, you delinquent! Now.” He takes a deep, fake breath, pulling the two girls higher into his armpits. “Like we rehearsed.” 
“I did my turn,” Dove says, reaching out for you, her smile hard to miss even if she is upside down..
“Dad didn't even want to marry that lady,” Avery says, her eyes squeezed closed. Steve chuckles and kisses her head, amused by her silly worry. “He's only ever wanted to be in love with you. And to drop me.” 
Steve chokes he laughs so hard, leaning forward and depositing the eldest girl onto two steady feet. “Perfect as always, Ave. And you!” He twists into a shape, Dove's head getting closer and closer to the floor. She couldn't be happier, giggling like she's been tickled the whole while. “You did perfect too, honey.” 
“I didn't even bring up that lady,��� you say. 
Steve and Dove return back to the right way round after some careful manoeuvring. “My bad. Babe. Y/N. I'm sorry, okay? I'm a loser and–” He nudges Dove aside gently to take your hands, your knees, ignoring Beth where she's in the way to kneel in front of you. “I just need you to want to wear these pyjamas as bad as I want you to. So pull it together.” 
You put your lips to the shell of Beth's ear. “Should we forgive him?” 
“Mmm…” Beth points at Avery. “He has to say sorry for almost dropping Avey.” 
“Right.” You nod sagely. 
Steve turns to Avery with wide eyes, “You're not actually upset, are you?” he asks, putting out his hand to her. 
“My brains are like cranberry sauce,” she says. 
He raises his eyebrows, delighted. “Yeah? The thick one from the can?” 
Dove climbs under his arm. He pulls her in for a cuddle unthinkingly, but just as quickly she's ducking away from him to walk up to Avery, reaching for her face. Avery leans down obligingly. 
Dove pokes her forehead. 
“I'm not really jelly!” Avery says, giggling. 
“Well, I'm sorry if I scared you almost dropping you,” Steve says, holding his hands together, brown eyes like melting sugar in his pleading. “Can you please forgive me, so mommy will forgive me, and we can put on our new jammies?” 
Avery isn't stubborn. “Yeh, okay. I'll forgive you.” 
He smiles, turning to you now for the final verdict. 
“I already said I'd wear them, Steve,” you say with a grin. 
“Oh. Good. Alright.” He climbs to his feet, split from cheek to cheek. “I'm gonna go get the baby. Aw, shit, and the camera. Practise your poses until I come back, angels!”
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suraemoon · 3 months
Note
I don't know if your taking request but your fics are amazing, and i just wanna cry reading each one -> there so beautiful. I was wondering if I could request a john egan x reader, where the reader is upset one day, and john finds her crying, and the whole thing is just fluffy and adorable. Thank youu!!!!🩷🩷🩷🩷
Baby Blues
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John Egan x Reader
💙: It is John Egan’s birthday but that doesn’t stop him from dedicating the time to help his wife love herself again. For she’s the greatest gift he’ll ever have.
🌌 Warnings: Postpartum Depression, Body Dysmorphic Behavior, Self-Criticism, Body Insecurity, Talks about not eating, Anxiety
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You didn’t even bother to open the curtains this morning but pesky light still managed to slip through soft fabric and fill the cold bedroom despite all of your best efforts. A sun filled-life felt like an overcast of dark clouds that a wind of self consciousness called your way.
On a typical day, it was customary for a housewife to open the windows and air out the room after a long night. You learned that from the “The Housewife Guide” book your Aunt Nellie gifted you at your bridal shower. That same book is now well loved, repeatedly red, and sat on the shelf above your dresser. The aproned and pin curled housewife is taking dinner out of the oven with one hand while holding a baby in the other.
Maybe she was Rosie the Riveter’s long lost cousin.
The mother of domesticity.
Here to remind young women that war was indeed over and the role of a strong woman was no longer needed once the boys were home.
The factories might’ve laid them off but the marital bed will always welcome them back home with open doors and soft, feathery pillows.
The to-do book had a step by step morning routine and airing out the rooms of the house was written first on the list of tasks. While you’re at it, maybe wave at your next door neighbor who was doing the same exact thing. Some days you two had matching colored aprons and sleepy babies clutching to the fabric of your dresses prompting a sweet laugh that only a woman would understand.
But today, the less people who saw you, the better. The idea of fresh air did not sound the least bit freeing but suffocating instead. It will remind you of the tightness in your lungs as you suck in your stomach. New air is right there, but no you cannot have it. You won’t allow yourself to let it in.
September 8th.
It is none other than your husband’s birthday.
Reflecting on this year of his life, there was one extra special thing that this trip around the sun entailed for the pair of you. This was also the year that you and Bucky became parents. He had been by your side through it all; showering you and your newborn baby girl with everlasting love, ample care, and unfading attention that never lost it’s sense of vitality. These heartfelt behaviors came so easily to Bucky for his soul was a complex haven holding unfaltering flame. All of these factors only added to the heavy pressure of making today perfect for a man who has made your life better in countless ways.
Ever since you gave birth to your daughter, there had been an underlying sadness, an incomprehensible emotion that served a constant source of guilt and confusion for you. Your little girl was the best thing that ever happened to you, how could you feel raindrops when the sun was shining brighter than it ever had before?
Spontaneously feeling the urge to sob during her nap time
Crippling anxiety when the pressures of being a new mom in the midst of baby boom starts to catch up and suffocate you
Total neglect of your personal needs in fear of feeling vain
Every family member gravitating towards your baby without even having the decency of offering you a simple hello.
You simply were not yourself.
Earlier in the week, you had planned a birthday lunch for Bucky at the local diner. Your mama was coming over to take care of the baby, you and your husband would be alone all day, everything was supposed to be perfect. But standing in front of the mirror in your bedroom, wearing the new dress that was supposed to make you resemble an absolute dream was shaping up to be your absolute nightmare. It seems that your eyes have a lens of self-criticism that made everything worse.
It is a blue wrap around dress with a white floral design, a style that had grown very popular in the war due to the convenience of not requiring a lot of material to make. You had gotten this dress over a year ago and it simply did not look the same on your body as when you first tried it on.
Tears start to run down your cheeks upon looking at yourself in the mirror and taking in the reflection that you’re met with. The shape of your body simply isn’t what it used to be pre-pregnancy. This is something that you have noticed before and have tried to suppress, but it being Bucky’s birthday brought out every fear and insecurity about your body.
The pouch in your lower stomach area made you want to give up eating for a week. Sucking it in worked for a little while but was an impossible to uphold.
Is this cut shorter than the other dresses? Since when were your thighs so plushy? The sensation of your thighs touching gave you some sort of horrible reaction like you were allergic to your own skin.
Immediately, you start taking it off. The only thing that kept you from ripping the dress into pieces was the material perceiving instincts that you had developed during the war. When the dress drops to the floor, the lens of insecurity do not leave with it.
You’re met with the unforgiving reflection of your lingerie. A satin white one piece set, the same one you wore for your wedding night. You chose it for today to bring back sexy, sentimental memories from the first moon you and Bucky spent as husband and wife. When it was slipped on earlier it did not evoke any strong negative emotions, you actually loved the way it differed from the nearly tired Aprons and pastel peter pan colored dresses you usually wore. But now, staring and picking apart every little detail of your body, you can’t help but hate the way it looks. When you slipped it on last year on the morning of your nuptials, you were in the best shape you’d ever been in. Your bridesmaids recommended a pre-wedding diet that went beautifully and you had received a home workout book from your mother. But fast forward to today: it was too tight in some places, milk filled breasts spilled out of the cups, your arms have more fat on them than they did before.
Believe it or not, it was the lingerie that broke you. A piece of delicate fabric made to repsrent femininity and confidence, wearing you down until you were a ball of tears on your bedroom floor. You precede to slide your body backwards until your back could feel the wall and the coldness of the hardwood began to irritate the back of your thighs. The nearest shoe becomes a weapon as you hurl it at the unforgiving glass, flinching at the loud bang it made on impact, like the mirror was your body and your heaving figure was the destructive mindset trying to abuse it.
Suddenly, there is a knock on the door and immediately you knew who it is. It is a warm knock. One full of certainty. Followed by a sing-song whistle.
“Honey?”
Oh no. He had left you in here to change and time had flown by quicker than you realized. He can’t see you crying, it’ll ruin the happy mood. He also can’t see you in the lingerie, your figure has never looked worse.
Your head drops on top of your knees as you wrap your arms around your legs. As if wanting to hide. As if scared of a man who has never once put an ounce of fear into your mind.
“Yes?” Your voices comes out more fragile and broken then you intend, making your whole body shiver in cringe.
“Are you okay in there? You said you wanted to get going by noon. Just making sure you’re still alive.” His knuckles make smaller knocks on the door, as if imitating a song.
“Um…” Your eyes begin to dart to the clothes hanging out of the wardrobe, the shoe sitting ashamedly next to the mirror, your dress still sitting in apollo of itself on the floor. “I need a few more minutes.”
“Alright, baby. Take your time. There’s no rush.” You can hear the pressure of his 6’2 body leaning against the door.
A few minutes pass by like a strike of lightning and you can’t stop the tears from rushing down your face.
Go fix your drawers and find another dress.
It’s not a big deal.
But you can’t. Your body is too weak to stand up.
Reality crashes down when the doorknob is heard twisting, the door is open but only open a centimeter. “Honey…I’m coming in.” He says that but he still waits.
“Bucky, two more minutes.. please.”
“I hear you crying in there. You don’t have to be alone. Let me help you.”
“Bucky-”
“Please. There's nothing else I wanna do but be there for you. Hearing you cry behind the door is torture. I can’t stand here and listen anymore.”
“Alright…”
The tall, commanding figure that is your husband enters the room gently and lightly as if everything is made of porcelain and he’s scared of his footsteps being too harsh or accidentally bumping into something that’d make everything go south.
In the center of the room, he sees the most fragile thing he’s ever laid his eyes on. It’s you, hands around your knees on the floor, sobbing in a set of lingerie. It was the oddest oxymoron.
“Baby…What happened? Is something wrong?”
There is a desperate but futile attempt to catch a tear threatening to run down your cheek. “I’m sorry, Bucky. I’m ruining your birthday. Making it all about me.”
“No you aren’t. Don’t say that. I just wanna make sure you’re alright is all.” Bucky makes sure that his steps are light as he walks across the room, he can sense obstacles but cannot see them. His biggest fear is making things even worse. Bucky’s heart yearned to be useful and he knew that. You both knew that.
His blue eyes would have took in the mess of a bedroom, one that resembled a retail store during the holidays, but instead fixated on only you.
His wife. The one who was always full of life, exuding kindness. The one made sure the whole house did not go to ruin with her careful routines. The one who ran her fingers through his hair when the nightmares became too much. She was a puddle of emotion on the floor and he was desperate to help her.
He sits down next to you. Your bodies are close but in fear of overwhelming you–in fear of breaking you–the only physical contact is his firm hand rubbing your back in a circular motion.
“Nothin’ looks good on me. I’m ugly, Bucky. I gave birth and nothing’s been the same. My midsection still looks pregnant. My skin breaks out. I ain’t got no waist. My arms are fat. It’s.,.it’s a disaster. A shitty disaster. It’s shitty. It’s…fuck!” Something about cursing felt so liberating in that moment. It’s a common habit you usually did not allow yourself to partake in. It was something that was a cause of many timeouts in your household growing up. But life did not want to cooperate to its own rules, so why should you?
He reprimands you, not for using the word shitty, not even for using the word fuck, but for using the word ugly. “I don’t want to hear that U-word coming out of your mouth again when talking about yourself. You ain’t ugly. There’s nothing ugly about you.”
There’s a whine of desperation to get a glimmer of understanding in his brain, “I don’t look like the girl you married. I feel like a total wreck.”
Bucky proceeds to take your left hand in his, running his fingers soothingly over your knuckles. When met with a wedding ring, disrupting the procession of soft skin, he stares at the gold fondly while processing your words. “And what did the girl I married look like? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure I’m looking at her right now. I see her every day, I make love to her at night, I can’t help but smile like an idiot when I see her wearing the ring I gave her…It’s you, baby.”
“You know what I mean! I don’t even recognize myself. I was never insecure, Bucky. This isn’t me. I look in the mirror and I don’t even recognize my own reflection. I’ve never felt so awful.”
Bucky sighs and then licks his plush lips before meeting your eyes again. “I wish you could see what I see. It’s the opposite of what you’re saying. You aren’t ugly or a wreck or whatever mean word you wanna say about yourself. God, you’re gorgeous. You’re stunning even when you’re crying your little eyes out.”
He is met with only a sigh and then one of the deepest hugs he’s ever experienced. It’s as if you were holding on to him for dear life. As if the world was a vast ocean and you were so afraid of losing yourself that you clung onto the only buoy that could bring you back to shore. Then there is a few minutes of silence, taking the time to hold one another. The only sounds are your little sniffles and Bucky’s warm breathing.
After the hug shifts from intensity to pure comfort, Bucky kisses the top of your head as you lean your head on his shoulder, your wet cheek dampening his shirt.
Your small voices breaks the silence as you whisper to him defeatedly, “I got a new dress..was sposed’ to wear it for your birthday.”
He raises an eyebrow not only from your words coming unexpectedly but also his natural sense of curiosity, “And what’s stopping ya?”
“It don’t look good.”
“Bullshit.”
“It doesn’t, Bucky! I think I’d know.”
“Go put it on and let’s see. I’ll be the judge and you be the model. Sounds like a good arrangement.” He gestures around the room to random articles of clothes misplaced everywhere, assuming that the dress in question is among the crowd.
“No, I gotta pick something else. I was trying to but everything I own is maternity clothes. I could probably pass for pregnant.” You laugh dryly but can immediately recognize that Bucky did not find it the least bit funny.
He sighs and you sit there for a while, when he speaks up it's in a low grumble, “Are you done being mean to yourself?”
“What?”
He sighs at your failure to comprehend his point but tries again, “I said, are you done being mean to yourself? Then we can get started on finding a solution, honey. There’s always a solution.”
“I already tried a diet.”
“That’s not what I meant.” He sits through for a moment in deep thought, you think about smoothing the crease between his eyebrows but you know your hand would be too shaky. He gets up from his spot next to you and starts to walk towards the mirror.
“Where are you going?”
He does a quick pose in the mirror in attempt to make you laugh and then waves you over with a chuckle, “C'mere baby. Wanna show you something. The mirror ain’t gonna bite.”
You scoot towards the front of the mirror and upon the realization that you would not be getting up onto your feet, Bucky sits down next to you.
Seeing your reflection in the mirror brings you back to reality for a moment. All of that sobbing without the realization of what the man comforting you might be seeing. A blush tinted your tear stained cheeks as you try to wipe away ruined mascara.
When you manage to get a considerable amount of black makeup from beneath your under eye, you look right at Bucky. His facial expression is nothing short of gorgeous as he stares into the mirror wistfully, lost in thought and admiration. But he isn’t looking at himself, when you follow his line of sight, he is looking right at you. “Can I tell you what I see for a second?”
“If you want to.”
He takes a deep breath, “God I’m bad at words but I’ll try. First of all, you’ve got the most stunning pair of eyes that I’ve ever looked into. Truthfully. Your eye contact could make a man swoon. I know from experience that it does. I remember when I first met you, I couldn’t tell my left from my right. I even forgot my own goddamn name for Christ’s sake. They’ve got so much warmth and sparkle. The way they light up when you're excited. Or the way you squint when I make ya laugh.”
Your cheeks turn a deeper shade of pink and you cannot help but smile at this sudden confession, immediately getting the urge to show your gratitude. “Bucky, I-”
“You’ve got the softest hair too. How do you get it so soft? They’ve gotta give you your own hair products or somethin’ so your pretty face can be on the covers of those magazines.”
“Bucky, it’s your birthday. I should be the one saying nice things about you, not the other way around.”
“Shhh.. I’m on a roll and you’re gonna mess me up. If I start stuttering, it’s your fault. You get me flustered. One flutter of those lashes and my train of thought falls off a cliff.”
“I’m the one that’s flustered. You’re so sweet and your words are so kind but…you really don’t have to compliment me just because I was crying.”
He kisses your cheek and whispers his words against your soft skin. “I’m not saying these things because you are crying, I’m saying them because I love you. I absolutely adore you and everything about you. There’s not a conceited bone in your body but, Jesus Christ, you deserve to feel good about yourself.”
“I don’t know what to say except that I’ll let you continue. I’m not gonna cut you off.”
“You don’t gotta say anything. Just listen, baby. Now let’s see…” Bucky’s hand starts to trial down your thigh, his lightly calloused palm being the perfect contrast from your smooth skin. “Your legs give every starlet on Sunset Boulevard a run for their money. So perfect and smooth. If I could spend every second of the day kissin’ em, I would. Hopefully, that’s in the cards for tonight. That’d make today an even better birthday in my humble opinion.”
You couldn’t help but comment despite your prior statement. “But my thighs-”
“-are absolutely incredible. You think I’m mad because you’ve got a little more thigh? The more, the merrier. Your thighs are absolutely delicious.”
His eyes trail down to your chest, taking it all in. “Is it too crude to talk about breasts in a motivational speech?”
You giggle in response to the question, “It might be.”
He shrugs nonchalantly, his eyes thoroughly entranced with the shape of your body as if mentally undressing you. “Oh well, I don’t care You’ve got the most perfect set of knockers to ever grace the earth. I know it’s impolite to stare but you’re my wife now, so I can admit that I proudly stare. I stare like an idiot to be exact.”
“You’re the only one I want staring at ‘em so that’s good. They’re all yours.” You can’t help but chuckle since your chest has always been something that keeps Bucky enthralled. He most definitely stared proudly and unapologetically even before the wedding ring got placed on your finger.
“If you thought breasts were too dirty for conversation, I’ll refrain from talking about pussy. Fits me like a fuckin’ glove. You’ve got the tightest, most satiny and gorgeous-You know what? We can save that for later on before I get distracted.”
“You’re too much.”
Bucky smiles not only at that response but also at the sound of your gentle laughter, “Wanna know what my favorite part of you is?”
“What?”
“Your heart, baby. I married the sweetest woman. I married the strongest woman. I married a girl that I want to spend the rest of my life with because she makes me feel like the luckiest man in the world. I’m walkin’ on clouds whenever you’re around. You bring the best out of me. You always know what to say. I’ll admit that sometimes I can be hard headed but you are always there. And I’d happily scream to the heavens that you’re mine. You ain’t anyone else’s but mine. Forever.”
You smile widely and take a deep breath. The reassurance and certainty of his words were exactly what you needed. Maybe you weren’t completely happy with yourself but the fact that you will have Bucky by your side through all of the tribulation, made a feeling of warmth and security spread throughout your body. It made you feel strong and fortified. “And I married the kindest, sweetest, most lovable man. Thank you, Bucky..for all of this. You really didn’t have to take time away from your birthday to lift me up like this , but you did it anyway. Now let’s spend the rest of the day celebrating you because that is what you deserve.”
“Then let’s go put that dress on, baby.” His voice is pure cuteness and it makes you swoon.
“Let’s put it on.” You smile and for the first time this morning, there’s a sense of hope and confidence in your delicate voice. Both of you stand up at the same time and Bucky runs a hand down the side of your satin lingerie, feeling the shape of your body. “Bucky, you aren’t even supposed to see this lingerie yet. I’m ruining the surprise.”
“This is what I have to look forward to later? All of this for me? Seeing it a little early doesn’t ruin anything for me.”
You reply, “But does not seeing me cry in it make it less sexy?”
“Not at all. Because when I take it off of you later, there’s gonna be nothing sad about it.” He shrugs with a smirk on his face, very confident in his statement. The two of you exchange a shared look of anticipation. Your mind wanders to the scene in question: coming home after the sun comes down after a day of festivities and having your husband on his knees, desperate to undress you. Eager to unwrap you like a birthday present and indulge in what’s his.
You’re taken out of these fantasies abruptly by a subconscious shake to the head: a habit of yours developed to help get back on task whenever you get whisked away by daydreams. You gesture at the blue dress still in its abandoned spot on the wood floor, “This is it.”
“Oh, it was right here the whole time? Let me help you, baby.”
Once you step into the dress, Bucky pulls it up your body as if dressing a doll. After putting your arms through the correct holes, you know that this is the final moment before it would be zipped up, becoming a showcase of your true figure. Unaware of your hesitation, Bucky takes the zipper and gently pulls it up, careful to not nip any of your skin. He then takes a step back to admire you and take in the beauty of the woman standing in front of him.
“You look absolutely stunning. God, you’re unreal. Do a spin for me?”
You do a quick spin and end with your arms wrapped around Bucky’s neck, pulling him in for a deep kiss. His lips are as soft as clouds but his desire for you is absolutely ravenous. You two move in a perfect rhythm with each other, going in for more and more as time goes on.
After a few minutes of kissing he pulls away and whispers in a raspy voice, “You had nothing to be worried about. I’m already thinking about taking it off of you but I’ll try to control myself.”
You smile at him, wiping some pink lipstick off of his lips with your finger. “C'mon we’ve still got a whole birthday to celebrate.”
“As long as I get to spend it with you, I’m the happiest birthday boy.”
————————————————————————
I hope you enjoyed. This was my first time doing a full length MOTA fic and it’s been a while since I’ve written something so it definitely took me out of my comfort zone. 💙
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79 notes · View notes
seireitonin · 5 months
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Heyy, since it's Toby's bday tmmrw (28th of April) can u pls make some hd how he would spend it w his s'o/partner (if he would even celebrate it lol)
How would Toby celebrate his birthday with his partner?
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They are definitely setting something on fire
One giant birthday candle just for him
Maybe an abandoned building?
Singing happy birthday with a piece of cake with a building burning sounds like his kind of night
Also he expects a gift
He’s awesome so why not?
He likes t- shirts and goggles in different colors
He never got to properly celebrate his birthday because of his awful home life
He would usually try to ignore the day because it brought back memories of how his life used to be
But now that he’s free?
He’s loud, rebellious and obnoxious
As he holds his partners hand looking at the fire, he smiles wide and big
Gone are his days of constant sadness and gloominess
Even his worst days as a proxy and killer are better than his best days at his old childhood home
He hugs his partner
“You’re the best gift I could ever ask for”
Usually he doesn’t say stuff like that
But he felt genuinely happy in that moment
It doesn’t get better than this
He never thought anyone but his mom and sister would show him genuine love
He never thought he would feel that love again
Then his partner loved him despite his flaws and now he’ll never let them go
He’s also gonna wanna rough house
He’s a guy after all
So running, jumping, wrestling all that
Gets extra touchy and playful when he’s happy
So he’s gonna hug and kiss his partner lots more
Obnoxious and full of affection
He’s free. He’s truly free
He’s free to be himself
Hes 30 and able to just be. Just exist and be accepted with his partner
He’s definitely gonna want to show his partner all the tricks he learned on a skateboard and other little skills too
His guitar playing skills, too
Because he wants to show off extra hard on his special day
His partner doesn’t mind though, it’s why they love him
He’s also definitely gonna do more stupid shit
Make a flame thrower from scratch with hair spray and a lighter
Get a bunch of piercings because he can’t feel them
Blind axe throwing
How could they not love him and his antics?
They show even more affection than usual because Toby really likes it in moments like this
Definitely getting Toby gifts that’s relate to inside jokes between them
117 notes · View notes
neesieiumz · 2 years
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ma bellamour ⇴ ”someone as beautiful… could love someone as me” ⸻ c. kamo
Part I. Part II
synopsis ⇴ "Ooh, love is beautiful, love is wonderful!" ⸻ ma belle evangeline.
warnings ⇴ 18+. sm*t. soft-dom!choso. minors do not interact. fluff. mobster!au. (this shows up more in part ii) inn-owner!reader. takes place similar to new orleans but it's not! has lots of time skips as well. single-mom!reader. yuuji is a little kid in here. choso is the best big brother as well. black!coded reader. afab reader. female anatomy. sukuna ryomen is his own warning. however, he is only in a small part in this part. mentions of torture. there are also ocs in here, the most important one is reader's daughter, who is also named evangeline as well. choso has a huge scar on his chest, it's for the plot. descriptions of torture. no beta readers cause I need to get this out in time. choso art credit — affectbitter on twitter
writer’s notes ⇴ THIS IS SO LATE I KNOW! It was supposed to be a Valentine's Day gift for you all but I was indecisive about how to do it! y'all must know where I got inspired for this work. my favorite Disney princess movie! as you can tell it's pretty long... but I really hope you guys enjoy It!
word count ⇴ 9.9k
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The air smelled of old car oil, and the rumbling sounds of the cars going up and down the cracked streets. The sidewalks were filled with people, constantly moving up and down, with all walks of life interacting with each other. He held his brother close to him, feeling his chest move up and down as he slept soundly. They were covered in dirt and grime, exhaustion weighing heavily on his eyes. The train journey was long and tiring, and he could feel his stomach cramp up in hunger and dehydration. His clothes were heavy with sweat and dirt, adding extra weight to his already weary body. However, he still pressed on, the feeling of his little brother’s heartbeat close to him. Choso maneuvered through the crowds, pushing through until he rounded a corner. A hanging sign, deep oak colored with fancy shimmering light green words caught his attention, Marina Inn, Bed and Breakfast. There were floral designs around the sign, in the same light green sparkle color the words were in, a simple but eye-catching design. 
However, what really had his attention was the words under it, an obvious sliding sign, for those who wished to change the words under them, now said capacity: Vacancy. He could almost collapse in relief, everywhere he had gone was full. According to conversations he overheard, a huge fair was in town, attracting all kinds of people worldwide. So to see somewhere with some kind of space where they could rest their heads. He approached the door, slowly bending down to place the suitcase in his hand on the concrete ground, careful not to wake Yuuji. He then opened the door, using his foot to prop it open before bending down, and picking up his luggage back up. He stepped inside the hotel, the door slowly closing behind him. 
It was cozy, the lobby as Choso glanced around, a fireplace roaring with a flame in front of him. Dark-colored wood, matching the color and material of hanging signs outside surrounded him. The banister of the stairs led up to the upper levels of the inn. A brim-brick fireplace, roared with an orange-red flame, the heat engulfing the area. He took a deep breath, his shoulders unintentionally relaxed, this aura, this palace had a familiar sense to it. One he had not felt in a very long time. He glanced down at his sleeping brother, the tufts of his pink hair moving up as he softly snored. Beside the fireplace, was a desk, the check-in desk. It was empty currently, and his eyes landed on the sign standing on the desk, next to a bell. 
Ring for assistance!
He placed his bag down once again, shuffling Yuuji in his arms to give himself some reprieve, before pressing the bell two times. He waited for a moment, taking in his surroundings just a bit more before a sweet voice called out from the back:
“I’ll be right with you!”
He didn’t know what to say, so he just waited, resting his now free hand on the one holding his brother. Choso soon heard footsteps approaching him, getting closer and closer before the sound of heavy breathing got closer as well. 
“Sorry bout the wait, there was a grease clog in one of the stoves and my fixer ain’t coming until tomorrow,” your voice was much clearer as you came out from the back, approaching the desk. 
You had yet to look at him, but Choso had seen you. Your hair was wrapped in a white scarf, now obviously stained with dirty black-yellow grease. Tied around your neck and clothes was once a pure white apron, stained with the same color grease stains. You also wore a simple creme blouse, along with a yellow-and-white checkered skirt, flowing all around you. They were both covered in grease stains as well. Choso slowly shook his head, slightly mesmerized by your very form, despite the grease and grunge.
“It’s fine,” he finally pushed out, “I’m not in any kind of rush anyways.”
You nodded your head, and that’s when you finally looked up to see who was in front of you. Your eyes widened in concern at his state of being. 
“Oh my, you must have come a very long way, I’m assuming you’ll be needing two rooms?” You said, pulling out a book. 
Immediately, he shook his head, “just one please.”
You glanced between the two of them, “are you sure, sir?”
He took a deep breath nodding his head, “yes, one is just fine, preferably with two beds if you have it?”
You hummed,, before flipping through the large book, “we have available rooms with two beds, if that’s what you prefer.”
“Will that cost extra…?” he could help but tentatively asked.
He left with only so much money, enough for the train tickets to get all the way here and some food for Yuuji. You look at him, before peering down at Yuuji sleeping soundly in his arms. Smiling softly, you shook your head. 
“No, it won’t be extra, depending on how long you can stay of course?”
Dropping his clunky rectangular suitcase, he trudged through his pocket, before pulling out both his wallet along with a folded napkin. He tried to reach over, but with Yuuji still in his arms, he couldn’t fully open up the wallet and napkin. He grumbled, reaching over and over again but he still couldn't reach. He whispered a curse to himself, before jumping as he felt a hand gently tap him on the shoulders. He looked over and it was you, no longer standing behind the counter desk. You held your hands out, glancing down at Yuuji before looking at Choso.
“I can hold him, if you wish to get settled first?” You asked him.
Immediately, he shook his head, “oh no, I couldn’t bother—”
You shook your own head back at him, “nonsense, it is no bother to me at all. Plus, he reminds me of my daughter.”
Choso doesn’t know why that singular piece of information dampened his heart, is it the idea that you were married? He had no time to focus on that, he thought to himself as he leaned down, allowing you to slowly scoop Yuuji from his arms. The small pink-haired boy whined for a moment taking a deep breath, and with no extra beat, he relaxed in your hold, snuggling against your form and unconsciously making himself comfortable. Your sweet smile slightly reverberated in his heart as you slightly rocked him, walking back to your post behind the desk. With his newly-freed hand, he was able to open up his wallet, pulling out the last few bills in it. He placed that on the desk, before reaching towards the folded napkin, revealing the secret stack of bills. His heart slightly dropped at what he had to do to get them, the life that he had to leave behind for something better. 
He looked up at you, “how… how much would a week stay be?”
You hummed, looking away from Yuuji to look at him, “one week…?” you questioned.
You told him the amount, and he could feel himself almost fall to the floor with relief. He had enough for that, luckily, unfortunately, he’ll have to dip into the blood money he took, currently wrapped up in the dirty napkin. He pulled out a few extra bills, before putting his now empty wallet and the folded napkin back in his pocket. He then handed you the money, which you thanked him for before placing it in a drawer you must have unlocked while he was distracted. With your free hand, you handed him the log-in book, telling him where to sign his name and date. 
He handed you back the book, allowing you to look at his name, “Choso Kamo,” you tested on your tongue, elongating the “o” in his last name.
He straightened up, unconsciously as spoke his name. He watched you turn back around, picking up the key that dangled around your neck. With no warning, you pulled the key right off your neck, before sticking the keyhole in the wall. Twisting and turning the key, Choso heard something unlock before the wall split into two sides, before opening up, revealing the rows of keys. They were all the same color, rustic brown with a dangling tag hanging off the end of each of them. Maneuvering your pointed hand, you ‘tsked multiple times to yourself, figuring out which key to give them. You soon picked a key in the top right corner, the very key in the top corner. You dropped the key in your pocket before closing the hidden wall, hearing the familiar click before twisting your key, and pulling it out. 
Turning around, you stepped from behind your post once again, smiling over at Choso. 
“Follow me, and don’t forget your bag!”
With that, he was hot on your trail as you led him up the stairs, the sounds of your more dainty steps combined with his more heavy ones. The wood squeaked under him, and he almost thought he was too dense for these stairs. However, you paid the sounds no mind, continuing up the stairs, passing the second floor, the hall split into two directions, making some kind of ‘L’ shape, with the stairs being right at the corner. You continued to lead them up the stairs, heading up to the more quiet, more private third floor. It only had one hallway, looking straight ahead. The low ambiance eased the pounding headache he constantly ignored. You lead them down the hallway, passing by a few doors, before stopping two doors away from the end of the hall, in which another door stood.
You pulled the key out of your pocket, before sticking it into the keyhole in the doorknob and twisting it open, the door clicking open. An indescribable feeling ran through Choso as he looked upon the new room, where he would be laying his head for an indescribable future. It was spacious and looked as if a family was supposed to live there instead of two brothers. He said nothing as the two of you walked into the room, there was a living room and a bit towards the back, seeing the opened door leading to a bedroom with a large, readily made bed. He looked over to the right where you were heading, seeing another opened door and finding a much smaller bedroom in there. You pushed the door open further, revealing a simple room, with a bit more color than the environment in the makeshift living room. It was obviously a children’s room, which made it perfect as you slowly reached down, pulling the sheets back before placing the small child on the bed, before pulling the soft blankets over him. 
You soon turned back to Choso, pressing your index finger against your lips, he nodded slowly before the two of you tip-toeing out of the room. Once out of the room, you reached out, slowly closing the door behind you with a soft click. 
“This room is definitely more than the amount I paid, with all due respect ma’am…” he trailed off, soon realizing he didn’t know your name. 
You giggled a bit, before giving him your name, “and I don’t know what you mean Mr. Kamo, last I checked this was my inn, so I made the prices.”
The sound of your name rang through his head, as you hummed, before turning to the right, heading toward the much bigger bedroom. He couldn't help but shake his head, before following right behind you. He entered the room, and the size of it surprised him. 
“Here is your bedroom of course, please make yourself comfortable as much as possible, lunch was already served one hour ago but dinner will be at 7:30!”
You turned towards him, before dropping the key in his hands. He was still in slight shock at your amount of generosity, and how well you have treated him in so little time. 
You reached up, placing your hand on his shoulder, “get some sleep, Mr. Kamo, please.”
You waited a moment, only beginning to leave the moment he nodded his head. He heard your heels clicking against the wooden floors, before hearing the door squeak open. The door soon closed shut, and now Choso was left alone, nothing but his thoughts supposedly running rampant. However, he couldn't find the amount of worry and fear he had been so used to the moment he left his old life. Dropping the suitcase, the loud bang echoed through the room affecting him. He was like a zombie, slowly taking heavy steps reaching and going to his destination. The moment he reached the bed, he fell over, eyes closing shut and the moment his head hit the pillow, he was out. Gone to the world around him. 
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Choso awoke with a sharp breath, fear striking his heart as sweat bullets appeared on his face. For a moment, he had no idea where he was. For a moment, he thought he was back at that place, shrouded in a certain darkness he wished to never experience again. Pushing himself up, he glanced around at the cozy, rustic brown-colored room before his memories slowly slipped back to him like the rushing waves in a mirror.
He escaped. He escaped, he escaped with Yuuji. 
Yuuji!
Quickly, he shot up from the bed, feet banging against the wooden floor before stomping out of the room. Scurrying across the room, he swung Yuuji’s door open, expecting to see his little pink-haired brother laying across his bed. Instead, he found an empty-made bed, with a piece of paper sitting neatly on top of it. His heart skipped several beats, feeling it drop as he basically jumped towards the bed, snatching up the piece of paper. 
The handwriting of the first line was too neat to be Yuuji’s. However, the second line looked more like the way he writes. 
Yuuji will be downstairs with me -- Y/n
P.S., you still snore too loudly when you sleep. :( 
Usually, he would have chuckled at that, but his racing heart and brain gave him no time. Crumpling the paper, holding it tight as he left the room, stumping away towards the stairs. Choso got to the stairs, a sudden burst of energy fueling him as he quickly scaled down the stairs. As he got closer to the first floor, he began to call out his name.
“Yuuji! Yuuji, are you here?!”
The moment his eyes landed on the inn lobby on the first floor, the back door flew open, revealing the bright-eyed young child. Choso's heart sighed in relief, the heavy beats immediately relaxed as he made it to the bottom floor. At the same time, Yuuji ran up to him, arms wide. Choso scooped him the moment he was close, holding him close to his heart. After holding him for a bit, he shuffled him around to look at his face, quickly checking over for marks on his face, bruises, and cuts that were not there before. 
“You’re not hurt, are you?” he couldn't help but ask, slowly sliding to the floor. 
The little one shook his head, “no, the nice lady helped me out!” He turned around slightly, pointing towards the back.
He looked up, only to see you standing there, but not only you. Gripping at your long skirt, was a little girl, just around Yuuji’s age as well. She had a blue dress on with pink patterns, and her hair was in little braids, with black and blue beads at the end, held in two ponytails. Her eyes were unwavering as they looked at Choso, continuing to hold on to her mother’s skirt. Looking back up at you, you still wore the same outfit as earlier, only wearing a new apron with no grease stains but rather stains of blue, and floury-chalky white. 
“My apologies if we caused you any distress,” your sweet voice rang out, “Yuuji couldn’t wake you up, so I wrote a note saying where he’ll be.”
You stepped forward, holding the little girl’s hands as you did so. Choso took a short breath before standing up fully, shaking his head. 
“No need to apologize, it’s just… it’s been a while since Yuuji left my side like that.”
You nodded your head, “of course, I understand completely.”
He nodded his head, before looking at Yuuji once again, fully taking in his state of being, “Yuuji, why are you covered in wet flour and…” he took a moment to lift up his coat jacket, sniffing it, “is that blueberries?”
He smiled widely, his white teeth shining against the light, “we were making blueberry muffins!!”
Choso’s eyes quirked up for a moment, “oh really?” He looked back up at you, seeing you nodding your head to confirm.
“We had just put them in the oven when you arrived, they’ll be done by the time people finish their food.”
He nodded his head, glancing around for some kind of clock to see the time.
6:34 pm.
Luckily, he still hadn’t missed dinner yet, he thought to himself as he could feel his stomach squeezing and turning from the lack of food from the past week. 
“Mr. Kamo, I’d recommend you freshen up, those clothes look dirty and old from your journey.”
He nodded his head again, yeah, a shower would do him wonders right now. He then turned to face Yuuji, “you’ll be okay without me, at least for a little more?”
He nodded his head, giving his older brother a thumbs up, “I’ll be fine!”
Choso glanced at you, before looking back at you, “stay with Mrs. Y/n, okay? Listen to her, alright?”
He nodded his head once again, “I will!”
He let out one final breath, before looking up at you, “can you continue to watch him for me, until I come back?”
You nodded your head swiftly, “of course, go get cleaned up!”
You basically shooed him as Yuuji walked back to you, standing right beside your daughter before whispering in her ear. The two of them smiled at each other, before basically running back into the kitchen and back room. Choso turned around, beginning to walk up the stairs, before taking a moment to look back, seeing your figure turned around, following behind the two rascals whose giggles could be heard throughout the lobby. Choso couldn’t help but smile at the sounds of Yuuji’s happiness, something he hadn’t heard in a long time. 
He scaled up the stairs once again, arriving back on the third floor before heading to his room. Choso went back to his room, pulling out another outfit to wear before heading to the bathroom. The bathroom still felt a bit humid from its last use, but he paid it no mind. He shrugged off his old, dirty clothes, placing them in a trash bag he found. He turned on the tub, putting it on the hot water as he waited for it to fill. As steam began to willow through the bathroom, he took a moment to glance at the mirror, his naked body staring right back at him. His scarred hands ran across his scared body, old bruises that hadn’t healed properly, and gnarly scars, scattered across his torso and waist. The most prominent one was the huge reddish-brown scar stretching from his right shoulder, all the way to his lower left hip. As his fingers slowly traced the gash, memories invaded his mind.
He writhed in pain, blood gushing, seeping into his off-white shirt. Above him, he can hear pained sobs, high pitched screams as Yuuji is pulled away from him. Choso cursed, the pain immobilizing him as he could hear his brother’s voice fade further away from him, but he could still hear him screaming his name. 
“...LET GO OF ME! CHOSO! PLEASE DON’T DIE!”
“Quiet, brat!” A stern voice called out.
For a moment, Yuuji’s tears and sobs hushed out of fear. The strong voice turned towards Choso’s writhing body. 
“This is his punishment, be quiet unless you want the same fate.”
He was sniffling, and his brother was sniffing but he didn’t cry out again. All Choso wanted to do was get up, hold him, and tell him everything was gonna be alright. To take him and run as far as he could. Yuuji, his little brother… 
Heavy footsteps soon began to fade, and he could hear something squeak, a door beginning to close. 
“Let’s just see if you can survive this, Choso?”
Darkness surrounds him once again, silence loudly ringing in his ear. His heavy arms pressed against his wound, hoping to somehow, someway, stop the bleeding. The metallic smell of blood hit his nose. He can’t die, and he won’t die, not when Yuuji still needed him. He needed him, they needed to get out, out of this place, out of this life. 
Choso Kamo will not die here. 
With a sharp breath, he forced himself out of the flashback. He glanced back, seeing the tub nearly filling up. He turned around, turning off the faucet before grabbing a clean rag, and slowly stepping into the hot water. He shuddered, taking another step into the heated water. He dipped his rag into the water, before scrubbing the soap along the rag before beginning to wash his body. White suds soon turned brown, evidence of just how dirty he was. 
He sighed, relaxing in the tub. 
To new beginnings, and a new life. 
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He felt… renewed, that was the best thing he could describe himself. He thought as he jogged down the stairs. Once he made it down, there were a few more people in the lobby, congregating and talking amongst themselves. He trudged through them, using a simple head nod to greet those who would look at him. He knew what they were staring at, the thick bandage-like mark on his nose, obscuring some of his faces. Most people would just stare, too intimidated by his size to even ask about it. He paid them no mind, hearing Yuuji’s voice come from the open doorway towards the right of the lobby. There were more people in there, all sitting at different tables, with plates of food in front of them as well. He looked around the room, making eye contact with a row of long tables, with trays of hot food steaming from them. The smell wafted through the hair, the savory smell of roasted, seasoned chicken, pasta, and other foods. The sounds of Yuuji speaking got louder and he turned around, only to find him and your daughter sitting at a table in the corner. They both had half-eaten plates of food in front of them, as well as two coloring books in front of them with crayons scattered in front of them. 
He headed towards them, smiling as he headed towards them. As he got closer, his figure must have moved in their peripheral vision because they both looked up, looking straight at him. Yuuji smiled, shouting his name, pushing himself out of the chair before running up to him. Choso scooped him again, holding him close once again. The stains from before were cleaned up, and he now smelled of chicken and pasta. 
“Was the food good?” Choso asked him, his heart warming at his enthusiastic nod. 
“Miss Y/n is an amazing cook! Better than you!”
He tried to ignore the pang in his heart as he said that, smiling in his face. Yuuji gasped, before squirming in his arms. Choso bent down slightly, letting him go as he slid down to the floor before going back to the table. 
“Choso! This is Evageline!” Yuuji held her hand, bringing her closer to you. 
Your daughter, Evangeline, shuffled around, looking everywhere but at him. Just like how his appearance sometimes was off-putting to adults, children can find it unappealing as well. These types of interactions hurt his heart a bit more than with adults. Even so, he took a breath, before holding out his hand. 
“Hi there, Evangeline, my name is Choso. I’m Yuuji’s big brother.”
She glanced down at his hand, before looking back up at him. She was still a bit apprehensive, even taking a point to take a step back a little bit. However, before Choso could say anything, he could feel a figure approaching them from behind, standing right behind him.
“Now that’s not how we greet guests and people, is it Evangeline?” 
He stood up, turning around to face you, this time without any apron on your body. You walked around Choso, taking your daughter softly by her hand and turning her towards you. 
“Hey love,” you spoke softly towards her, “what’s going on?”
Evangeline whispered in your ears as Choso rose back, Yuuji came around the two of you, wrapping his tiny arms around Choso’s legs as the two of you looked at him. You whispered back into her ears as well, Evangeline nodding along with your words. Once the two of you finished speaking with each other, you rose up, holding her in your arms before turning around to the two of them. 
Evangeline looked at Choso before holding out her hand, “sorry, Mr. Kamo. My name is Evangeline.”
Choso couldn't help but smile, reaching out his own hand to gently shake hers, “it’s nice to meet you Evangeline.”
You placed her back down as Yuuji went back to the table with Evangeline, not before telling Choso that he saved a seat for him. You sat with them as Choso walked over to the food table, picking up a plate before stacking it high with food. He grabbed a glass, filling it with water from the pitcher before walking back to the table with you and the children. He placed his plate down, sitting down right beside his brother, picking up his spoon and fork. As he ate, the feeling of hot warm food, not bland as well, was something he hadn’t felt in a long time. 
“Choso, look!”
He must have been too focused on his food, looking up at all three of you staring at him. He could feel bits of food scattered around his mouth, which must have set off the little giggles from their mouth. 
“You look funny,” Yuuji laughed, covering his mouth as well.
Evangeline copied him as well, the two of them giggling away at Choso’s countenance. He looked over at you to see an amused smile on your face as well. Choso could feel his cheeks redden as he reached out, grabbing a napkin to wipe away his mouth. 
“My apologies,” he mumbled, reaching over to tickle Yuuji’s laughter only got louder. 
You shook your head, “no problem, I’m glad you're enjoying the food.”
The conversation flowed between the four of you, mostly between Choso and you as the kids were mainly focused on who can make the best drawing of Choso. He asked you about how you became the owner of this inn, and you delved into a great story about your life here. How this has always been a family business, originally founded by your great-grandmother. You had grown up here, as did your mother and your grandmother as well. Families grew here, before going out the world and making their own marks in the world. You told him the story of how your father saved your business, from a group of thieves with dangerous weapons as well. Unfortunately, he had lost his life in the attack but drove them away enough for the police to get there. You pointed over to the back wall where his face was memorialized on the wall of the dining hall, which was always his favorite place in the inn. You let off a bittersweet chuckle once you had told him that. Choso couldn't help but place a hand on your shoulder, trying his best to provide some comfort to you. 
“Thank you,” you sighed, placing your own hand on top of his, “I just hope he likes the way I run the inn now?”
He smiled, “I’m sure he’s very proud of his daughter.”
You thanked him once again, before feeling a tug on your arm. You looked over at your daughter, who gestured for you to come closer. You nodded along to her words before slowly rising to your feet, taking her hand before leading her away from the table. 
“We have to go do something, but it was great having a conversation with Choso. I hope to see you around the inn as well.”
You waved bye to the two of them, Evangeline did so as well, but more so Yuuji than Choso. That’s fine, he thought to himself, as the two of you headed out of the dining hall. As the two of you walked away, the people all around the dining hall greeted you, smiling in your faces as they complimented your food. The two of you soon disappeared through the open doorway, leaving just the two of you. He glanced over at Yuuji, who stuck his tongue out as he put the finishing touches on his portrait of him. He simply smiled, and ruffled his hair for a bit, before continuing to eat his food. 
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Three days had passed, and no luck in finding a new job. 
Choso was at his wit's end, and he didn’t know what to do. He had constantly relied on your help with Yuuji, watching him as he went out into the world, giving his name to anyone who would hear him. No luck. No one would hire him, no callbacks to the inn, no nothing. He refused to want to dip into the folded money, which he had now placed into the bottom left drawer in his nightstand. Blood money, as he’s called it multiple times. However, the week was soon ending, and he needed to find another way to pay for another week in the inn. 
His head hung low as he trudged back into the inn lobby, hearing your voice talking to the new guests in the front. As he turned to the left, he looked over at you as you were instructing the new people on what to sign. For a moment, he looked up, and the two of you locked eyes. You smiled, waving at him, and him immediately waving back. One of the guests caught your attention and you turned back to her, speaking in that high-pitched people-pleaser voice he had heard you use so many times. With his heart lifted up just a bit, he continued up the stairs, soon making it to his room. It was empty, as Yuuji was still downstairs, most likely hanging out with Evangeline in an obscure corner of the inn. He soon made it over to his bed, laying across, letting out a deep, heavy sigh. He was tired, so tired of the constant job hunt, however, they couldn’t stay at an inn forever. He needs to do this, to provide a better life for Yuuji. 
A sudden knock came on the door, and his body sprang up in reaction. 
“Choso…? Can I come in?”
It was you, as you laid another knock on the door. Immediately he shot off the bed, shrugging off the suit jacket you allowed him to borrow. 
“Y…yeah!” he stuttered, walking slowly towards the door. 
He stood in front of the door, taking a deep breath before slowly opening the door. You stood on the other side, a small smile on your face as he looked at you. You wore long baggy, flare-out pants, and a simple black shirt tucked in with a belt as well. You weren’t wearing a scarf that time, your long braids hanging loose, falling to right around your waist. 
“How was the job hunt?” You asked him as you took a couple of steps into the room. 
He blinked, watching as you entered the room, unable to do anything but close the door and watch you for a moment. He soon snaps himself out of it, following after you as you take a seat on one of the seats. 
“I haven’t heard back from anywhere, so… not great.”
You hummed, nodding your head for a moment, squinting your eyes for a moment, before looking up at him. 
“On a scale of one to ten… how good are you at handy-man stuff? Like fixing stuff, etcetera, etcetera.”
He was confused, “if I had to guess… a good six maybe? Why?”
You blinked, “that’s all I need. My last handyman quit on me, so I need someone else.”
He distinctly remembered your meeting, you covered in grease as you complained of the same stove which gives you problems once again. 
“Wouldn’t your husband do things like that?”
Your face dropped for a moment, “husband?” you asked. 
His eyes widened for a moment, “...you’re not married?”
You couldn't help the snickers that came out of your mouth, covering it up immediately with your hand, “Choso, I’m not married. You’d think I’d have a handy-man if I was married?”
You couldn't help the wide-pressed smile at the sight of his cute face slowly turning red from embarrassment. 
“I… apologize, for assuming you were married.”
You shook your head, now showing off your smile, “no no it's fine, trust me. I’ve heard the worst assumptions. So about the handyman job…? You’ll no longer have to pay to stay here!”
He perked up a bit, as it hit him, you were offering him a job right here. Which would be even better for him, being close to Yuuji and watching over him much better. He can’t always rely on you to keep watching him. However, that also means they don’t have to leave the area, and with Yuuji and Eva attached by the hip. It was a win all around.
He nodded his head, “I’ll accept it.”
You smiled immediately standing up, “great! Because the grease stove is broken again and I am not fixing it!”
He stuttered, as you suddenly pulled him up from his seat, “wait I didn’t think we were starting right now!”
He could hear your laughter sound a little mischievous, much like when he would see Eva and Yuuji play a game and she would win multiple times. 
He now sees where she gets it from, he thought as he pulled out of the room. However, he couldn't help the smile that formed on his face as you dragged him downstairs.
He now wore the apron you wore when the grease stove broke the last time as you stood behind him, peering in on him as he got the new clog out. Yuuji and Eva stood behind you, watching Choso battle against the gas-grease stove. 
Once he finished, covered head to toe in black-yellow grease, you easily rewarded him with a glass of lemonade, which you enjoyed with the kids as well. As you stood there, wiping away his face that was stained with dirty oil, the smile the children shared was unseen to the both of you. 
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The sun glared down as you sat outside in the back of the inn, your fan in hand. Today was a lazy day for you, not much traction as many of your guests enjoyed the city. The back table you sat at was surrounded by your friends, girls you had known since high school, and other places. On the table, a pitch of ice-cold lemonade sat along with smaller finger snacks you had made for their visit. Your hair, now in distressed long locs, wrapped up high in a scarf, matching the color of your multi-layered sundress. Your eyes were covered with sunshades as chatter flowed among the five of you. As you spoke, you could hear the sounds of laughter from the large yard not too far from you all. In the freshly cut grass, there stood Choso a wide smile on his face as he entertained the two little ones. He wore a sleeveless tank top, covered in grass stains and sweat. His hair was up in two spiky-like buns, a few strands of jet black framing his face. 
It had been five months since Choso and Yuuji became permanent fixtures in your lives, and since then you couldn’t imagine how you lived with them. Eva, having a constant friend around, has done wonders all around for her happiness. You also helped Choso with enrolling Yuuji into Eva’s school and were even put down as a guardian for him as well. Things that would constantly break would be magically fixed by him, and sometimes he would even help you with cooking dinner for the guests who would enjoy it. It was like the four of you had your own little family.
“Wow…” the sudden high-pitched tone of adoration broke you out of your trance.
The conversation spoon stopped as you noticed the rest of your friends looking the same way you were. 
The kids have gone back inside at this point, probably to cool down from the sweltering sun while Choso remained on the large lawn, using a rag to wipe away the sweat on his face, he began to walk towards them. 
“Girl,” one of them called out to you, “where did you find this man?”
You rolled your eyes at them, picking up your glass before taking another long sip. As you did so, Choso was within range of your table, and you could collectively hear sharp inhales all around you. Some of your friends even took out some of the fans to cover and cool their faces down. All this while a deep gnarly intensity was building inside of you, all while you sat there as Choso approached you all. 
“Ladies,” he nodded, giving off a shorter smile as your friends waved daintily at him. 
His eyes then wandered down to you as you placed your own drink down, looking up at him as well. His minute smile expanded as he stood right near he bent over, grabbing the only untouched glass of lemonade you had poured out for him. He stood straight up as he downed the whole thing in just a few gulps. The sweat on his body and the drink mixed together as he drank the sweet-sour beverage, your eyes followed along the clear-like liquid as it trailed down his neck soon reaching the valley between his pecs. 
The sound of coughing broke you out of your trance as you turned away from Choso, glancing at the rest of your friends who looked upon him as well. A couple of them glanced between the two of you, eyebrows quirked. However, before you could do something, the loud thud brought your attention back to him. 
“I’ll head back inside, you leave those two alone for a while and they’ll end up in chaos all over again. Thank you for the lemonade, Darling.”
With no other words, he walked back inside the opened door, following behind the muffled voices of chaos inside the inn. You let out an almost silent breathy sigh as you turned around the moment he was out of view from you. You could feel heat all over you, looking up and seeing four pairs of eyes right on you. 
“What…?” you asked, although you couldn't suppress that smile on your face. 
The friend to your left spoke first, “you acting like we didn’t see that. Girl… we are not stupid.”
You let off a tense chuckle, “what? What are yall talking about?”
That same friend rolled her eyes, “she’s really acting like we don’t have eyes.”
You reached over, filling up your almost empty glass to the top, before taking another sip of it, “how about we enjoy this lemonade and this beautiful day. It’s rare that we all can spend time like this with our busy schedules!”
Your other friend spoke up next, “so what we’re hearing is that Choso is single”
Your friends jumped as they heard your glass slammed back against the table, the drink spilling all over the table, your hands, and the outer glass. Heart racing as your friends glanced amongst each other, letting off small smiles and smirks amongst each other. You sat back once again, sipping your cold drink and fanning your fan in your face to cool yourself from the added heat of bashfulness that struck you like a bolt of lightning. Luckily, another one of your friends pulled the conversation into a different topic, relating to drama between people you used to go to high school with. 
The get-along went on until the sun began to set and they all soon had to return to their own homes. You told them not to bother with the clean up, as you had some responsibilities around the inn to get to. There you stood in the kitchen washing dishes and beginning to put them away as you heard heavy footsteps enter the kitchen. 
“I’ve put them to bed, if you don’t mind, they wouldn’t be separated from each other so they’re having a sleepover in Evangeline’s room.”
You smiled at the thought of the two cuties snoring away underneath Evageline’s bright pink covers, like peas in a pod those two were. 
“Thank you for that,” you said, continuing to wipe the water away from the dishes. 
He began to step closer toward you, his footsteps becoming louder and louder, “do you need any help with anything?”
You immediately shook your head, ignoring the pounding of your heart rattling between your ears, “mh mmmhh, no I’m fine. I can handle it all. You should head to bed, you’ve done a lot of fixing around this place.”
By the time you finished speaking, he was behind you. His bodily heat was radiating off of him, causing you to shudder silently, inhaling sharply. He let off a low hum, the sound reverberating through you as you hunched over slightly, catching yourself as your knees wobbling. Your hands were soapy, causing you to stagger and teeter, squealing as you felt yourself begin to fall. Large, rough hands wrapped themselves around you as they held you steady, slowly pulling you back up with ease. You glanced back, seeing Choso’s face right near your own. 
“You alright, darling?”
You nodded your head, unable to say anything at that moment. He smiled, his hands still on you as he shifted his body to your left side. He stood right beside you as his hands slid down from your shoulders, before landing right on top of your wet hands. With ease, and due to your slight trance, he was able to pry your hands away from the sink before slowly guiding you away. 
“Let me finish off the plates, go sit down by the fireplace, darling.”
“Wait—” before you could protest, he grabbed a rag before wiping your hands clean.
You let out a short gasp, mouth wide as he basically took over the last of your chores. You glanced between him and the opened door, revealing the inn where the fireplace was still blazing. Smiling, you turned around, your footsteps sounding off as you left the kitchen. The low dulcet sounds of jazz sounded off from your record player as you entered the small, comfortable lobby. You sat on the loveseat right next to the fireplace, sighing at the radiating heat, relaxing into the softness of the couch. Along with the music, you could hear the clink of glass against the metal sink, and the sounds of suds being pressed out of the sponge, washing away at the dishes.
You thought about the past, how your life has changed once again. How, despite you not showing it, your life was slowly becoming bleak. An everyday cycle for both you and Evangeline, of waking up, walking her to her bus, walking back, making breakfast for the guests, cleaning up rooms, organizing everything, Evangeline coming home, making dinner for the guests, cleaning up again. Not to mention, hospitality for new guests as well as dealing with rowdy guests as well. 
Choso and Yuuji have been a light in an increasing vignette of darkness within your life. 
“Darling,” a soft voice, shook you out of your trance.
Slowly opening your eyes, which you had no idea you even closed, you looked up only to lock eyes with Choso’s dark, concerned-filled ones. 
“You alright?”
You nodded your head, sitting up fully to look at him. His arms were covered up once again, wearing a thin jacket as he held his hand out towards you. Smiling, you placed your own in his much larger one, before he pulled you, squealing at the sudden force. You stumbled upon your steps, before feeling his other hand slide around your waist, stabilizing you once again. 
“I’m sorry, it seems I still don't know my strength,” you heard him say, feeling his fingers rub circles on your side. 
You shook your head, ignoring the heat that ran through your body, “it’s fine, perfectly fine.”
He hummed, before glancing around, and looking at the record player not too far from you. For a moment, he let go of you, before stepping towards the player. Slowly increase the volume, just loud enough to take up the lobby, but not too loud as to wake up the few guests you had. You couldn’t help the smile as he stuck his hand out towards you, bowing slightly. He honestly looked a little silly, but your heart clenched as he asked you, 
“May I have this dance?”
You shifted your head, eyebrows curling up, “what’s the occasion?”
He shrugged his shoulders, “no reason. Just because, darling.”
Every time he called you darling, you could swoon into the moon. However, instead of flying away, you accepted, placing your hand in his once again before being swirled away into a world of sweet jazz and melodious waves of motion. Your hand in his, sticking out while the other rested upon his broad shoulders, while you felt his other hand resting right on your waist. As you two danced away, looking at each other for a quick moment before looking away, still holding each other close. 
“I just wanted to thank you, darling,” he mumbled lowly in your ear. 
You blinked, “thank me… for what?”
“Changing my life, saving me.”
You hummed, curled your eyebrows up, and looked up at him, “how did I do that?”
He looked around the inn lobby before looking back down at you, “giving me a chance, helping me with Yuuji… I’d never thought my life could end up like this.”
The hand resting on his shoulders slowly slid up. Reaching and caressing the side of his face, heart-melting as he nestled up against it. 
“I should really be saying this about you, my life has been so much brighter since you two arrived here.”
He shook his head but you wouldn’t have it, “I mean it Choso, this was a blessing to me, you are a blessing to me.”
He said nothing, as your steps began to slow down, as you bored into each other’s eyes. Nothing could interrupt your silent conversation, as you felt his hand that once rested on your waist slide down to your hips, dangerously close to your bottom. You took a step closer towards him, as the hand you placed on his face slid back, intertwining with his dark hair. There was barely any space between the two of you, and nothing holding the two of you back as Choso leaned down, hastily pressing his lips against yours.
You gasped out his name, before being overwhelmed by him. You found balance in gipping his hair, and his shoulder, feeling his overwhelming stature pushing up against you. His free hand copied his other hand, resting right at your hips before gripping them, bringing them close. For a moment he let go of your lips before whispering,
“Jump.”
With no other words, you jumped right into him, his arms holding you up as you wrapped your legs around him as best as you could. Your dress rode up, mint-green fabric bunching at your waist as the two of your locked lips once again. Choso stumbled backward a bit before feeling him sit down right on the couch where you just sat at you. You rested yourself comfortably on him as your fingers unravel the two messy buns in his hair. Your hips moved along against him, and you could feel his hard-on pressing against you through the thick fabric of his jeans. 
“Choso,” you gasped, releasing the kiss to take in a deep breath.
However, you couldn’t do anything but let out breathy moans as Choso began to lay kisses all along your neck. 
“We should, fuck, we sh… should probably go upstars, Choso before a guest comes down here…”
He hummed against you, feeling his hands massage your ass before gripping it tightly, suddenly standing up. You squealed, a smile appearing on your face as he basically took you towards the stairs, carrying you up the stairs. He was careful not to make too much, as he took you past the second floor of the much more inclusive third floor, where only the four of you were staying. Approaching his door, he kept you up with one hand as he fished out his key, unlocking it with ease before hauling you inside. The room was dark, as it was empty due to the sleepover the kids were having in Evangeline’s room, which was connected to your own. 
You shrieked a little as you were suddenly thrown onto soft blankets and pillows. Pushing yourself up, your eyes landed on Choso's form, his silhouette illuminated by the low lantern light from the makeshift living room, as he slowly peeled away his jacket, once again revealing the arms you previously drooled over. Licking your lips as he soon reached down, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants before throwing them into an indescribable corner. He then kicked off his boots, and slid the door close, completely enshrouding you in darkness before climbing right on top of you. Your hands rested on each side of his face before pulling him down for another deep kiss. His hair, no longer contained in its buns, tickled your hands as your fingers dug right back into it. His hands dug under your dress, pressing up against the back of your knee before slowly pushing your leg back, your dress scrunching up further and further. Moving your hands from his face, before nimbly slipping your fingers through the thin straps of your dress before beginning to slowly pull them down, right along with your dress as well. 
Choso helped you out, pulling the rest of the fabric down, and exposing yourself to him. You hadn’t worn a bra, leaving you in nothing but the cotton panties you wore underneath your dress. He threw the dress on the floor before beginning to slide down the bed, letting go of your kiss. Stomach twisting in anticipation as he laid ghostly kisses against your abdomen, fingers strumming at the hem of your panties. They then hook underneath the thin fabric, before slowly pulling them down, the sudden cool air causing you to shiver and gasp in the dark room. You lifted your legs, fully exposing yourself to him. Gasping, back arching against the bed as you felt a thick finger pressing against your cunt, your seeping arousal dripping against them. Sweat began to drip down your body as heat arose within you, toes curling as you felt his finger slowly sinking within you. 
“So beautiful,” he mumbled against you as you jolted, moaning out into the air.
You couldn’t say anything as he continued to finger-fuck you against the bed, his body sliding up back to you. It was bliss upon earth, and it only increased further and further as he acted upon you. He towered over you, taking in your every expression, every twitch and quiver you made. You were so wet for you, your slick drenching his finger and parts of his hands, you were ready, perfect for him. Slowly he pulled his finger out, taking a moment to lick and suck away at your arousal.
“God I can’t wait,” you heard him whisper before feeling his hands pressed up against the back of your knees, bedding you further and further into the bed, until your body couldn't take any more stretch.
His one hand easily pressed you back, and his other one soon left your body. A few moments passed before you were suddenly gasping, the feeling of his tip, the thickness of it pressing up against your hole. For a few moments, he swiped up between your soaked labia, his actions pulling out short, breath-like moans out of you. 
“Choso, fuck, Choso please,”  you moaned out, begging for him to press into you, take you in any way he wished. 
He almost came right then and there, and could no longer hold himself back as he slowly pushed himself inside of you. Choking on your spit, your head was thrown back in complete ecstasy as he pushed himself deeper and deeper inside your pussy. For a moment he slowed down, stopping all of his movements. Just as you were about to complain, he darted, suddenly thrusting himself. Your body convulsed, a scream leaving your wet lips. 
“Fuck fuck, you okay, Love?” He groaned, his deep voice causing you to shake underneath him. 
Euphoric, cloud nine was within your reach as he began to slowly rock his hips into you. Both hands pressed up against your knees, allowing him the balance to reach deep within you. Your words came out garbled, jumbled for the mind-numbing pleasure with a few twinges of pain that accompanied this overwhelming feeling. Your hands now freed, they dragged themselves against his naked back, nails digging into his skin. As he continued to fuck you slowly, he leaned down, pressing soft kisses against your cheeks and neck. 
As you let out another choked sob, Choso whispered in your ear, pressing sweet words into you. 
“Fuck, I’m sorry love, bare with me.”
Your face twisted, gasping as another sharp thrust took the breath straight out of you. He could feel himself reveling in the way your face and body convulsed under him, your reactions so delicious to him as he continued fucking you slowly. He ached for more of it, he wanted to make you feel like this all the time. cHoso could feel it taking over his every being, his every sense. Sweat dripped down his face as he began to pick up the pace, his moans intensifying with every slam. The sounds of your arousal dripped all over him, mixing with the sweat that was building on your body, the warm air and stench that was permeating through the air. 
“So, so so deep,” you slurred, your nails digging into his skin, breaking through. 
“Yeah baby?” he mumbled in your ear, as he pounded into you. 
The nickname caused you to thrash against the bed, a loud moan echoing through the room. Immediately he shushed you, a hand leaving the back of your knee, going to your lips, pressing his thumb against them. 
“Shhhh, don’t wanna be too loud and wake up the kids?”
You shook your head, the taste of his slightly salty thumb pressing up against your tongue. He steadily removed the pads of his fingers as he leaned down, whispering “good girl,” right beside your ear before suddenly pulling you up, his hand now around your waist as he sat up. Squealing, you asked Choso what he was doing, but he shushed you as he stood up on his knees for a quick moment, before flipping the two of you onto the bed. You now sit right on top of him, shuddering as his dick reaches new depths in the new position. You then sat back against your ankles, feeling his hands slide upright to your hips, gripping into the fat and muscle underneath. Stabilizing himself, propping his legs up causing you to gasp, hands flying down and grabbing at his broad shoulders. With no hesitation, he began slamming back up as if nothing interrupted him in the first place. The sounds of wet skin slapping against wet skin echoed through the room once again. 
Choso couldn't help but be transfixed by your blissed-out look, tongue lolling out, lips wet with spit, and head thrown back in ecstasy. Every whisper and whimper you made went unnoticed in his presence. From the moment he met you, he knew just how much you would change his life. 
You suddenly let out a shrilled moan, nails breaking skin once again, “Choso, god I’m gonna come.”
A familiar feeling of urgency zapped through him, feeling heavy heat building up within, similar to you as well. Hair sprawled out on the pillow under him as his grip on your hips became bruise worthy as he didn’t let up, surrendering to the aching of the building climax within him. All he could do was focus on your moans, your words driving him further and further. 
“Coming, fuckfuckfuckfuck, I’m coming!”
With one final squeal, you throbbed and tightened around him, Choso’s throwing his head back at the sudden soaked tightness around. Hips lifted high into the sky as you shook and trembled above him. Your own overflow caused him to reach his climax, his orgasm spilling right into you, filling you right up. Deep heavy breaths echoed through the room from the both of you as your body felt heavy, slumped with sudden tiredness. You could feel Choso lift you off of his cock, feeling your body slump over as he carefully laid you across the bed. Eyes heavy, you whined as you could feel his body heat move away from you. He quietly shushed you for a moment, placing a soft kiss on your cheek. You could hear his steps walking away from you, before hearing the faint sound of water rushing, and the squeaky sounds of a sink. He soon came back, hearing his steps get closer to you. You forced your heavy eyes open to see better, only to jolt as the feeling of something cold and wet slid all across your thighs. CHoso wiped away the mixture of cum that was seeping from you, as what dripped all along your inner thighs as well. 
Once you and he cleaned up, he put the rag away in a place where he’ll take it tomorrow before climbing right back into the bed with you. A smile instantaneously took over your face as you snuggled into his broad build, his arms wrapping around you and pulling you close. There were no words exchanged between the two of you soon after that, the sounds of your breathing lulling each other to sleep, and the added safety of you being in his arms. 
Though as you fell asleep, Choso couldn't help but worry as he gazed upon your relaxed, tranquil countenance. His mind ravaged him with fear, memories of a time before, is this all too good to be true? To be here? With someone, who he loved ever so dearly? He thought of the family he created, of how much Yuuji enjoyed it here. He gazed down at you once again, before placing a kiss on your temple. He snuggled into the bed, making himself comfortable.
No. He will be happy. 
Choso Kamo will be happy. 
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marthawrites · 1 year
Text
The Gift That Keeps Giving
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Daemon Targaryen x Rhaenyra Targaryen x fem reader
Word count: 3.8k+
Can be read as a one shot but reads best as part 2 to A Gift for the Queen (pls be kind it was the second thing I wrote ♥)
About: You've happily stayed with Daemon and Rhaenyra since her birthday. They have a little game up their sleeve to play with you.
Includes: Explicit sexual content!! *takes a really deep breath* involving typical canon incest, M/F/F content, p in v, female masturbation, pussy slapping, fingering, oral (m & f receiving), forced orgasm, orgasm denial, overstimulation, some degradation, manhandling, crying, adult language, and aftercare. With a sweet ending. WHEW. That's a mouthful. Idk friends there's a lot going on here and if I missed anything I apologize!
Note: Hello lovely reader! I'm not in charge of your imagination, but I write with the implications that Westerosi men go in raw and are uncut. Do with that info however you like. As always, reader is nondescript! Huge shout out to my girl Eliza who is just fucking awesome and I love her. This has been stewing in my brain forever and I finally was able to get it out. It's filthy. Please, enjoy! ♥
-
While it wasn't home, Dragonstone remained lovely. What made it even more lovely was the attention Rhaenyra bestowed upon you during the early mornings and late into the evenings. The Black Queen, despite (or perhaps in spite of) the neverending amount of responsibilities she had, had an insatiable taste for pleasure.
Her body showed all the signs of motherhood: faded stretch marks, widened hips, heavy breasts, and a soft cushion of fat around her middle. If she was beautiful before, deemed "The Realm's Delight" by her uncle-husband, then she was even more so now. Motherhood fit Rhaenyra. And in turn she was a good mom, too. 
You couldn't imagine how she balanced everything on her plate. Being a caring mother, a Queen against an upsurer king, a wife… How?
Daemon and Rhaenyra, like many in their ancestry, could only be sated by the fire of a fellow Targaryen. Twin flames from somewhere deep and ancient in the earth. Together they burned. You were certain it was the passion they shared in their intimate moments that kept them in check; a contained bonfire instead of rampant wildfire.
The Rogue Prince, still standing by what he said the first night you shared with them, had yet to let you have his cock. "Whores aren't deserving of my seed." As much as you savored every second of pleasure with Rhaenyra, you ached for him.
Doing as you were told, you sat in one of their chairs and were allowed to merely watch as Rhaenyra rode her husband until sweat sheened on her skin and her legs shook from exertion. It was torture. Daemon had a beautiful cock. Thick, solid, and forever eager to be wrapped around his wife's needy cunt; seemingly as many times as she'd like. And there you were. Both of your legs draped over the arms of the chair to expose yourself wide open, fingers fucking into yourself at the show, unable to reach the kind of climaxes Rhaenyra experienced. Your fingers were half useless despite their best efforts.
"You're being awfully quiet over here," Daemon crooned, walking over to you once he and his wife were finished. Sweat sheened on him too. "Is your Queen fucking her prince so boring?"
You'd been far from quiet. A blush had taken home in your cheeks and your folds glistened with evidence of orgasm. "Never boring," you breathed in reply, looking up at Daemon from beneath your lashes.
He tutted and swatted your hand away from your center. "You are. Perhaps you need to be reminded just how loud you can get." Bringing two fingers up to your mouth he pushed past your lips until his Targaryen signet squished against the corner of your mouth. He smirked at your eager acceptance. He planted his other hand upon the back of your chair, eyes keen on you.
Were your gag reflex any weaker it would have stuttered around his abrupt intrusion. The shadow of his bulk looming over you caused a whine of anticipation to escape your throat, vibrating around his fingers.
He pulled them out and a lewd little line of spittle broke between your lip and the tip of his finger. 
"My prince…," you purred, heart thumping wildly beneath your flushed chest. "I do think I need to be reminded. I haven't had a cock in sooo long… my fingers can only go so far. They are much smaller than you." Unintentionally – or perhaps wholly intentionally – your hips squirmed in a silent beg for any sort of attention he might give you.
Dark amusement swelled his pupils. "Small and pathetic," he said sardonically. "Can you even reach where you're begging to be touched?" With his question he delivered a quick smack to the fullness of your spread cunt. 
You yelped, surprised, eyes popping open as a second slap followed. "A-ah!" Your legs closed in an attempt to shield yourself from his touch.
"Play nice with our sweet girl," Rhaenyra chimed from the bed. Amusement laced her words too. "We want her to be eager to play later. Isn't that right, husband?"
Flicking your attention to the marital bed you saw that Rhaenyra didn't look up or anything else – content to lay and relax in bliss for a few moments longer before getting ready for the day.
Daemon sniggered, one big hand easily parting your legs open. You weren't squeezing too hard, merely had your thighs pressed together to keep yourself protected from further taunts. "That's right," he replied to his wife over his shoulder before turning his gaze back to you. “Our favorite, and prettiest, whore.”
The weight of his gaze sent your own pupils swelling. You smiled at his praise. “Always happy to be in service of my Queen. And King.” The Prince Consort liked it when you called him that. He liked it even more when it spilled from your pretty lips in a beg for him to fuck you – a gift he still hadn’t given you. Most, though, he liked it when you and Rhaenyra half whispered it on your knees between sharing his cock.
A third slap was delivered to your cunt and you barely managed to muffle a startled whimper behind a bitten lip. “How quickly do you think you could come on my fingers?” He tilted his head in question, eyes still sharp on yours. In the same motion he squeezed the back of your chair for extra support while pushing two calloused digits into your yearning center. He knew right where to find that delightfully sensitive spot along your walls. He sought it and abused it. And, to make matters all the more lascivious, his thumb worked your clit in tandem. “You won’t get a second chance, girl. If you wish to come, then come. Now.” His pace was brutal. And wonderful. He had no shame when it came to pleasure; the obscenity of the wet slaps from his finger fucking sent you over the edge quickly.
The coil of pleasure in your belly snapped with all the force it had been wired with; a straining haste that left you gasping as if Daemon’s hand were wrapped around your throat. A moment ago you were merely under his gaze. Now, your thighs squeezed his forearm as bliss washed over you in hot waves of desperation. You whined a string of moans so sweet it sent the towering prince to near purrs.
“Say thank you,” he said, pulling his fingers from your clenching depths.
“Thank you, my prince.” 
That is how Daemon and Rhaenyra left you for the day. Alone to do as you please; eager for their return. Duty called and kept them away until after sundown.
-
“Will Daemon not want to be present for this, your Grace?” You were barely able to whisper between heated pants. 
Rhaenyra had propped pillows beneath your backside to give herself a better angle to your soaked core. Her arms were looped around your thighs so she could support herself upon her elbows. She was happily face down into you with her ass up and pointed to the door. Slowly, she lapped, and slowly, she sucked, seeming to be more than content to have you as many times as she pleased. Your fingers curled in her soft hair. It was in a single haphazard braid and you didn’t feel guilty for messing it up anymore than it already was. 
A playful hum vibrated against your folds. “Even in this room I am still the Queen. If my lord husband isn’t happy with what he sees upon arrival, then, well…,” she paused, thinking. “I suppose he won’t get to play.” She returned her attention to you and your eyes rolled closed at the skill of her mouth. 
Just on the edge of your pleasure, right before you were flung into the crest, the door opened and Rhaenyra looked over her shoulder to see who would come in so rudely. The peak she’d been working you towards was gone in an instant. If you were lucky, it wouldn’t take long to reach again.
“Sȳz bantis, ābrazȳrys,” good evening wife, Daemon said softly in High Valyrian – their ancestral language a thing you still couldn’t understand. “Emare kirimves?” having fun He asked with a quirk of brow.
“Kessa,” yes she replied, grinning.
By now the door was latched and locked behind him. “Ȳdra daor ivestragī nyke keligon ao,” don’t let me stop you he said and he stepped further into the room and began to disarm and undress.
Were these two ever not horny? You thought privately to yourself. Almost daily, and sometimes multiple times a day, they coupled. You’d witnessed firsthand their sex life was far from boring – and that’s only what you’ve seen! Surely you hadn’t witnessed all that their passion could bring. 
“Ziry's mazilībagon, valzȳrys,” she’s set, husband Rhaenyra said with a glimmer you hadn’t seen in her eyes before. Her attention turned fully to you, then, a smolder behind her vibrancy. “Tonight it’s my turn to watch,” she cooed, delicately kissing your sensitive bud in departure.
A shudder ran through you at the combination of her words and lips. Could she really mean…? Was tonight the night you’d been waiting for since arriving at Dragonstone with the Rogue Prince? Excitement shot through you as Rhaenyra moved from the bed to the chair you normally sat in. Even fully nude she looked like a queen should. Poised. Regal: a glimmer of something mischievous or unhinged – perhaps both – right there behind her eyes.
Daemon, now nude, wordlessly beckoned you over. He stood at the edge of the bed: every burn and scar of his seasoned warriors' body on display in the low light of their room. You obeyed with barely any other thought in your head. The same glint as his wife's shown in his face. You were nothing but a play thing for them. A pretty little bird for them to clip and make sing. If Dragonstone – their room – were your cage, you cared little. Who would ever complain about being in service to the Black Queen and her Prince Consort?
"Kiss it," he said evenly, a bite of sternness behind his tone.
He wasn't yet hard. Even his flaccid manhood made your thighs clench. It was as handsome as the rest of him and you wasted no time in trailing warm kisses along his cock, reveling in the sensation of him growing harder beneath your attention. "Gonna let me have it all for myself tonight?" You asked, pumping along his length with a spit-slick hand. Your kisses were open mouthed and wet, tongue accompanying here and there.
"Be a good little whore and quit teasing. If you want it hard then make it hard. Stop this playing," Daemon sneered down at you, pinching your chin between thumb and forefinger to turn your eyes up to him. "Have you had a good day lazing about like a spoiled cat?" Head tilted with his question, traditional silver tresses catching moonlight. "No thoughts in your pretty head… daydreaming about being bent over and fucked. How does it feel to haven't anything to fret over?" A mock laced his tone – bitterness and amusement alike.
You merely smiled up at him. Taunting. "Boring…," you replied before taking his tip between your lips. He tasted warm and salty. Your head bobbed forward and backward as you worked him up the way you knew he liked it. Musk filled your nose and your core instantly clenched. You wanted nothing more than to have him thrusting in and out of you: claiming you, taking you, using you for his pleasure. And if you were lucky, Rhaenyra would join too.
He laughed dryly. "A spoiled little bitch." He twitched in your mouth. By now his cock was fully hardened and slobbery; your eyes glassy from need and strain. Whether prompted by your words or a wave of lust, he grabbed the sides of your arms, squeezing harshly, and maneuvered you around to his liking.
Before you could put it all together, you were on your hands and knees atop the bed with Daemon looming behind you. His cock seared your skin. You gasped wholly surprised and wanton as you looked up to where Rhaenyra still sat and watched; purple eyes alight with wickedness. "Your Grace…?" You asked, spine bending down tantalizingly to prop your ass firmer against the Rogue Prince. Lust consumed your blood and you gripped the plush bedclothes, cunt throbbing with anticipation.
"It's time for you to have your fun. And for me to have mine," she replied, lips pouting in a smile before flashing her teeth in a delighted expression. In her hand she held a phallic shaped object and you knew exactly what it was. The base portion that was meant to be held sparkled with an array of dazzling cut gemstones. Rubies, sapphires, emeralds. The toy the Black Queen meant to fuck herself with gleamed with enough wealth to buy youself a comfortable new life – and yet for her it was merely another thing. An object to use for pleasure as her husband fucked her sweet little pet. She looked at Daemon with a tilt of her head, her body lax and open for the voyeuristic experience. Whatever was shared between them was private, meant for only husband and wife, and Rhaenyra bit her bottom lip in anticipation.
Daemon’s hands gripped your hips and your heart thumped to a new high. Somewhere in the back of your mind you wondered how many other women – or men, if the rumors you'd heard of the dragon prince were true – were in this position before. Words couldn't even form on your tongue. All you could manage was a sultry connection with Rhaenyra as your eyes stayed on her. Eager. Excited. Fucking elated. 
She began circling her clit right as Daemon lined himself up with you. His tip was swollen with as much need as coursed through you, and he pushed himself into your saturated core. 
Immediately your jaw slackened with a lusty gasp. He was so big, and so thick, and so hot, that the air was forced from your lungs. He pushed deeper and your eyelids fluttered, fingers gripping into the smooth quilts. With a final flex of his hips and thighs, he was fully hilted into you. 
The weight of his torso fell over your back. "If I were any smaller you'd be loose around me, whore," he hissed by your ear, one big calloused hand palming up the length of your spine until it reached the back of your neck. He held you there, mindful of his finger placement, before dragging his hips backwards. 
You barely had time to miss the delirious stretch of him, because when he snapped forward into you, an unrestrained moan shuddered through your form. "O-oh! Yes, Daemon, please…!"
He grunted as his grip tightened around your hip, fingers sinking into the soft flesh that padded there. "Was it your Queen who got this cunt so wet? Or was it me?" He asked, the slaps of his pelvis against your asscheeks quickly filling the bedchamber. The natural clench of your body had his already hot blood boiling. The desire to relentlessly pound into you for his own high and pleasure clouded his mind. As much as he'd love to give into that primal part of himself, he wouldn't. There wasn't any fun in that. At least the kind of fun he and Rhaenyra were after.
"Both," you barely managed to say. He'd hardly been fucking you for longer than a few moments and already he had you cockdrunk and ready to drool into their expensive bedding. His pace and pressure hit you at all the right angles. You’d been with Rhaenyra and Daemon exclusively for a couple moons now, and you hadn’t the satisfaction of a cock in that time. The backs of your legs tightened. Your toes curled.
A dark laugh vibrated out from Daemon. "Look at you... already dazed out on my cock. Little slut. You don't get to finish yet," he said with a firm slap to your backside, pulling out and leaving you empty right before climax could wash over you. "Watch your Queen's perfect cunny take her toy." Pulling you by the hair at the back of your head, he turned your attention forward as he slid into you once again. His pace, while still as powerful, was slower this time. His balls slapped against your clit to add another level of obscenity to the lewdness of the night’s event.
The denial of your orgasm seemed to spur Rhaenyra on even more than she already was. The smooth leather wrap of the dildo shone with her slick. Her hips rolled in tandem with her wrist, and both were accented by her pants and whimpers of solo bliss. Pleasure relaxed her face. She grinned at both of you.
Wonderful tension coiled in the pit of your belly. Warm, and tight, and tingling, echoes of it reverberated throughout your entire body and your eyes closed with the sensations. Daemon’s grip hardly laxed, yet you still found the strength to push back against him to meet his thrusts. It was maddening. Beautifully maddening. Something – perhaps nothing – changed in his pace and the embers he’d been stoking threatened to combust. “I’m gon–... fuck, please, my prince… Don’t stop!”
Instantly, he pulled out of you and stopped. The entirety of his length was shiny with your arousal; even the hair of his groin was damp with you. He laughed when you turned your head over your shoulder to glare at him with wetted eyelashes. “You should see yourself right now. Pathetic.”
Rhaenyra’s ministrations grew hotter and sloppier, climax seeming to threaten her as well. Unlike you, she didn’t have anyone controlling the reins. The Black Queen gave into her pleasure and allowed orgasm to take her. Panting, shuddering, and glowing, she was lovely in the throes of her peak.
The squelching of her bejeweled toy sent Daemon half-feral. He flipped you over on your back, leering down at you as he squished your thighs flat against your breasts. You were bent in half and each thrust led him to the deepest parts of your cunt. You half screamed behind your hand, jolts of white hot ecstasy webbing throughout your senses as he fucked you. “Cover your mouth again and I’ll fucking smack you,” he huffed between throaty growls, relishing the sight of you and his wife alike. She was fucking herself again, greedy for more.
This had to be part of the game they were playing. The build up of your peak only to be denied at the last second… what a cruel thing to do. Emotion swam in your eyes until they were glassy from unshed tears. “Please let me come!”
Again, he pulled out from you. Again, you glared with a half sob. The muscles of your legs shook and your scalp felt fuzzy. He wasn’t going easy on you and you wondered how long he could do this before he drowned beneath a crest too. Tears pricked from the outsides of your eyes to roll behind your ears. He almost lost it right then and there. “No,” he smirked coldly. Muscles flexed and tightened as he positioned you up on your knees: his front to your back, you facing Rhaenyra, one arm holding you flush to him as the other gripped your hip. “She likes it when you cry. Let’s show her more of those pretty tears, hm?” He rasped by the shell of your ear, pushing into your overly sensitive center.
A sheen of sweat covered Rhaenyra. The fingers of her free hand played with her clit now, too, edging her bliss as long as she could.
Daemon palmed your breasts and squeezed your nipples. His pace was near brutal now; sweat slicked between your bodies through the control and exertion. “Gods… it’s too much! Please, your Grace, my prince…!” You begged through broken moans. Just as your body began shuddering against Daemon’s, he stopped all he was doing and let his cock slip out of your bullied walls. You sobbed fully this time. Tears fell down your face. Desperation washed over you. They were cruel – both of them – never had they strung you along like this.
“Poor sweet little whore. Begging and crying. It should be your Queen you’re begging to. Let’s give her one more orgasm, yeah? Then maybe she’ll let you finish on your prince’s cock.” 
As if together, Rhaenyra’s self-driven thrusts matched Daemon’s as he began taking you yet again. You couldn’t think straight. Could hardly keep your blurry eyes open. You cried out whimpered moans of their names and begged through broken syllables. It was too much. All of it was too much. Daemon’s cock felt so fucking good it took everything you could muster to not give in to your body’s primal desires.
Fresh tears clumped your eyelashes. Rhaenyra found her second climax at the sight of them. Her chest heaved with the force of it; soft abdomen rolled with the release. Creamy slick coated her dildo and her actions finally slowed before stopping; core too sensitive to take anymore.
“Come now, girl,” Daemon cooed, fingertips swiping and circling over your clit. You didn’t need to be told twice. Once your orgasm took hold of you, you nearly blacked out with its intensity. Never in your life had you experienced something like this, and if you weren't already teary you would have cried real tears with the release of such a high build up. 
Your gripping and convulsing walls were too much for the Rogue Prince, too, and he barely pulled free from your depths to release his seed into the air. Ropes of it landed atop the bedding – white against the dark material – and he groaned like a beast at your back. 
You slumped forward, wholly spent, and Daemon carefully moved from behind you. Laying on your belly you looked between Daemon and Rhaenyra, laughing. "Seven Hells… maybe next time there could be a little warning?"
Sweat and sex hung in the air and it took all of you a few moments to gather yourselves from the fervor of shared passion.
"That takes some of the fun out of it though," Rhaenyra answered after a few moments as she walked to you with a clean washcloth. She had a silk robe wrapped loosely around her. She bent to kiss your forehead. "You did very well for us tonight, little dove. If you truly wanted it to stop, you know all you needed was to say something."
"I know," you replied, cleaning yourself up. "Thank you."
"My lord husband wasn't too rough with you, was he?" She asked sincerely.
You laughed again and shook your head. "No, your Grace."
He smirked at your answer, as did Rhaenyra. "Good," she said. "We can all remember that for next time."
The three of you finished cleaning up with light-hearted chatter and soft touches. Afterwards, wine and a late night snack were shared. When sleep finally overcame you, all of you were a tangle of limbs and silk in the big bed.
-
thank you for reading! if you enjoyed, please consider a follow and reblog as I have plans to create and share more writings ♥
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