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flareguncalamity · 2 years ago

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i’m sure someone on here has said this before, but i think cis tiktok really took “feminine in a masculine way” and ran with it without realizing that the appeal of being feminine in a masculine way to genderqueer people, especially afab genderqueer people, isn’t just looking hot or whatever. it’s specifically the discordance of being perceived as masculine and performing femininity.

Like, you see cis women on tiktok with the caption “trying to be feminine in a masculine way!” and then they’ll wear these super femmey suits with their hair back and like. that’s cool i guess? i’m glad you feel confident. but the angst that genderqueer people feel over wanting to be feminine in a masculine way is derived from how this feeling almost seems like an impossible goal. like, femininity is standard for women, so when people perceive you as a woman and you dress feminine there’s no perceived deviance at all. you’re just dressing and acting like how a woman should, according to the audience of people who see you on the street. The part you feel that you lack when you say ‘in a masculine way’ is the part where your femininity gets to be nonstandard.

there’s almost a kind of grossness to when cis men in particular do femininity. it ranges at times from “haha ironic comedy, isn’t it so WEIRD and WACKY when men wear skirts???” gross to something almost demonic (like how men wearing makeup were treated at the height of the satanic panic). there’s like, falseness. like the femininity is separate from you somehow, as a facade, and that there’s some kind of clash between the femininity and the person underneath. and i’m not saying those are good things- the opposite, it’s really, really bad that we treat gender deviance this way. but the longing for this experience as an afab genderqueer person is the longing to exist in a role that is non-normative without sacrificing the things we love about femininity, and to be able to be feminine without having that related back to some quintessential nature of your gender as determined by broader society. I honestly feel like Natalie Wynn described this really well when she said that for her, as a woman, there’s no “de-dragging” where the womanhood falls away from her and she ceases to be feminine in a way that a drag queen might after a performance is over. I think what genderqueer people want when they want to be feminine in a masculine way is to have that ability, to have their femininity be a costume that they can take off at will.

anyways all this to say that i don’t think cosplaying as modcloth-workwear girlboss is going to help me achieve my gender euphoria goal of old church ladies sneering at me in derision every time i wear a dress. although honestly that is a great idea for a drag queen character

#this is an extremely funny post for me to make as someone who has denied the non-binary accusations for as long as i have #like girl you are not fooling anyone with the she before the they in your pronouns. be real #oc #non-binary #genderqueer #feminine in a masculine way #obviously i don’t speak for all genderqueer people #but like. i’d love for femininity to be something i can take off when i’m not longer in the mood for it #and not something that people view as being ‘inherently attached to my essence as a woman’ or whatever #i don’t have an essence of a woman. i have like. a poorly functioning intestinal tract #the thing that is inside of me is slimy organs. please stop ascribing gender onto my nasty weird little body #there’s honestly something so alluring about giovanni pota he’s spiky pink mullet and stubble and black nail polish #like. the image of a skirt that doesn’t fit quite right on you because your hips and waist are about the same circumference. so it’s like #mismatched???#and then the idea of wearing eyeliner but having like. stubble and acne #UGH. and like. dresses that have built in cups but you don’t have a bust? to fill it out???? auughhhh i wish i didn’t have a massive rack #like my body is SO traditionally feminine in figure i have such an hourglass silhouette and like the long legs and shit #and like. i feel like i look great maybe 40-45% of the time #i love filling out a fit and flare dress when i’m going out to hang out with lesbians and feeling very sexy in that context #but i don’t want that to be permanent yknow. there’s a restriction there that i despise #giovanni potage. idk why that corrected to pota he #considering potage is a word. fuck autocorrect

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feelgoodinct · 2 months ago

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nsfw, mdni.

cw: situationship simon you will always be famous, jealousy, f oral receiving, not edited, written on mobile during my lunch break lolz.

simon knows he’s no stranger to conflict. it’s intertwined with what he does and who he is. so when you come to him putting your foot down demanding answers about your relationship he figures he’ll let you throw your fit and sort you out when he gets back.

it’s a 3 month deployment, one of those that need a 6 month rest to recoup. when he gets back it’s easy to fall into his normal routine again. he spends his first night back at his usual bar, a seedy little thing downtown that gets crowded quickly. something he’s willing to compromise on since they have his favorite beer on tap.

he’s on his third beer of the night when he hears the chime of the entrance door. only this time he hears a voice that he is familiar with. very familiar with. he his quickly snaps up at the sound to see you. you’re in his favorite skirt one he’s pulled off of you in the back of his truck many times, and short little black number with a lacy top.

he doesn’t have time to gaze and your legs before he zeroes in on the hand at the small of your back, ushering you towards a table in the corner. he grits his teeth. when he said he’ll let you have your fuss he didn’t mean in the form of a fucking date. he stares unashamedly so, paying no more mind to the game playing on the bars dingy telly overhead. he knows you haven’t seen him or else you would’ve turned and walked right back out. he decides he’ll bid his time watching you and your date sit in a booth tucked away into the corner. he scowls as he watches your date lean in to put his hand on your thigh while you scan the drink menu. prick wouldn’t even know what to do with you if he had you, sweetheart. he watches you give him a polite smile. it makes him snort. dickhead didn’t even let you sit on the inside of the booth.

you lean in whispering something to your date making him nod. simon watches you stand and make way towards the washroom at the back scooting by tipsy patrons and disappearing behind the washrooms door. he looks back over to your booth watching your date tap away in his phone. idiot didn’t even have the decency to walk you to the loo. simon waits all of 15 seconds before he rises, chair scraping across the floorboards, dropping a few bills on the bar top.

you reapply your lipgloss in the foggy mirror of the bathroom. when you agreed to go out on a date you thought a nice place to eat. not some bar that make the bottom of your shoes stick. you take a big sigh, if anything you’ll get a few free drinks and make the most of it.

the door swings open, wood groaning with the force behind it, the click of the lock following quickly behind the sound. you turn towards the sound freezing when you see simon standing looking comically large in the small room. “simon? what the hell! this is the ladies room.” you say in disbelief. he ignores your comment and takes long strides towards you boots making a resounding thud with each step. he crowds you against the counter top craning his neck to look you in the face. “ye done throwing a fit?” his voice deep with irritation.

you look at him like he sprouted a third eye, “excuse me?” your reply laced with annoyance at his audacity.

“don’t be difficult.” simon says more of a command than anything. you open your mouth just to quickly close it. even with the tension, the air is thick with heightened emotion. “he’s not your type.” he says with a tight clench of his jaw.

you scoff at his words, “is this what this is about? you followed me into the ladies room to talk about my date?” simon’s eye twitches with your admission that you are, in fact, on a date. he feels jealousy flare deep in his chest. “ye wastin yer time with him.” he ignores your comment about him being in the ladies room. he could give less of a fuck.

you tilt your head watching the muscle in his jaw twitch. “that all?” you say hoping to end his questioning. simon grinds his teeth at your stubborn attitude hands one either side or you gripping the shabby counter. he’s not one to mince words, he considers your question staring at you with intense and dark eyes. he knows he’s being unreasonable that he should step back let you get back to your date. but simon is nothing if not stubborn, more so than you.

before he can say anything there a sharp knock at the door. simon looks at the door, an irritated look flashing across his face. “simon.” you plead with him. there’s a pause before the knocks come again in quick succession. “fuck off! it’s taken.” simon barks towards the door before turning back to you. you watch the rise and fall of his chest, muscles in his arms taut with tension, you notice the way he fills out his shirt the fabric stretching across his chest. you trying swallowing down the desire that’s been building ever since he trudged into the washroom. your on a date for god’s sake.

simon notices the look in your eye and that’s all the permission he needs before he’s hoisting you up onto the counter with his palms burning into the back of your thighs. you squeak at the sudden movement and instinctively open your legs wider giving way to simon’s wide torso. a hand tangles in your hair and tugs your head back barring your neck to him. he leans down, lips against the shell of your ear, voice gruff “if you wanted a fuck you come to me, understood? don’t need no prick trying to feel you up when you got me.” you nod as much as best as you can with the way simon has your head at an awkward angle.

“good.” simon pulls back loosening his grip of your locks and slides his hands down to squeeze the fat of your hips. “now behave and i’ll make it good for you.”

you immediately lean back on your forearms and widen your legs. simon grins at your obedience, canines peeking out from his top lip. he makes quick work of pushing your skirt up to your belly. you hiss as thighs and ass make contact with the cold surface. simon rubs your thighs with big warm hands as an apology. you whine as his fingers close around the band of your lacy black pair of panties tugging them down and off your legs. you feel the cool air hit your center and you see simon pocket them. filthy bastard.

he kneels with a groan taking in your cunt like it’s the first time he’s seen one and he stares like it’s the last time. pinning your thighs to your chest, he looks up through his lashes, “help me out here pretty thing.” he spreads your folds apart with both thumbs and lets out a deep groan.

you’re about to tell him to get on with it when he leans in and gets his mouth on the entirety of your mound. you grip the back of your thighs trying to ground yourself. simon dips his tongue in licking at your opening as your mouth drops open. you nearly sob when he adds a finger in and pulls back with a cocky grin. before you can tell him to piss off he introduces another finger making you whine out like a wounded animal. his mouth returns to tongue at your clit while he curls his fingers hitting a spot that has you jerking. he pulls back grinning and looks up “that the spot, pretty girl?” you nod quickly not caring how desperate you must look with your legs to your chest, feet grazing the top of simon’s shoulders, crying into the air. “yeah i know, sweet thing. yer just gaggin for it. cunts leakin all over my hand.” his words make you clench hard, you don’t even know what you’re begging for. simon doesn’t let up stretching you out with rough fingers giving a low growl into your cunt.

“simon” you mewl dropping your thighs to tug at the tufts of hair between your thighs. he groans, your sounds fueling simon as he speeds up his fingers knowing your close. you cry out chanting simon, simon, simon, please. he leans in to suck at your clit, hard, all while hitting that sweet spot. you come with a sharp pull of his cropped hair and a sob, ears closing around his head. he licks you through it until you’re forced to yank his head back from the overstimulation. he leans back on his haunches, big paws running up and down your thighs, and gives you a dopey grin.

“i can’t feel my legs.” you say in a hoarse voice, trying to catch your breath.

“yeah, m’not surprised. you came hard pretty hard, sweet girl.” simon stands to his full height, not missing the way your cheeks heat up at his words. he chuckles at your sudden shyness, a deep sound that vibrates throughout his chest. he circles his arms around your waist bringing you to sit upright at the edge of the sink.

his hand cradles the back of your neck forcing you to meet him halfway. he gives you a deep kiss, licking the front of your teeth, and sucking at your bottom lip before he pulls away. “ready to go home now?” he says with affection in his eyes.

the reality of where and who you are with dawns on you and you sit upright in a panic. “oh fuck.” you try to keep your voice steady. simon raises an eyebrow at your anxious state. “my date. i left him outside!” you shriek knowing you’re gonna have to go out and answer for your absence. simon clicks his tongue understanding why you’re so worried. “don’t worry bout it, pet. told him to sod off before i came in. bastard ran out before i could even threaten him” he says patting your backside in reassurance.

you let out a big sigh of relief knowing you won’t have to confront him. simon gives you a crooked smile. “ready?” he runs his hand through your hair. you give him a sweet smile and a nod.

(you make a mental note to thank soap for giving you a heads up on simon’s plans for tonight.)

#simon riley smut #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley smut #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #ghost smut #cod x reader #call of duty smut

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