#first thing i've drawn in a long time omg

[sseunbean]

you just KNOW she's tone deaf

[pedroslittlelady]

Just You & Me, Darlin'

joel miller x f!reader (18+)

A/N: OMG Okay, I'm actually doing this! I'm posting something for the first time in over 4 years and I'm super nervous. Pedro Pascal just has me by the titties, and so do all of you wonderful writers and artists I've been so inspired by, so here is my little contribution 🫣💕

You can also read this on my ao3 if you prefer 😊

summary: When Tommy returns to the QZ without you, Joel is both terrified and furious but he’s determined to get you back safe no matter what.

tags/warnings: 18+ Explicit | Minors Do Not Interact Please! no use of y/n, boston qz, fluff, hurt/comfort, mention of suicidal thoughts, slight exhibitionism, explicit smut, unprotected piv, no description of female reader, other than joel can pick you up and kinda implied age gap, squirting, emotional sex, unbeta'd, use of pet names (sweetheart, baby, darlin', baby girl). oh and you're both super in love so :) I think that's it.

word count: 5.9k

Joel’s heart was fluttering within his chest, nerves and excitement flooding him as he made his way up the steps of his apartment building. If all had gone well, you were due back from the week-long smuggling run outside of the QZ today, and he had been stuck on work duty for most of it. 

He hadn’t been able to go with you since someone had needed to stay back and protect their store of goods and ration cards from being stolen in their absence, they’d learned this the hard way. 

And in his mind he’d drawn the short straw.

Joel would much rather be out there with you than stuck here wondering if you were okay. Here, he was unable to do anything if something went wrong but he knew you, the little hell-raiser that you were could definitely handle yourself. 

The both of you had agreed when you first started sleeping together that it shouldn’t mess with the business, it gave you all a more comfortable life in the QZ than most got to have after all. 

Even after falling hard for one another following the sharing of your past within whispered cuddles post sex, you both still tried to keep the business professional and that meant trusting one another to watch your own and your partners’ backs. 

As he entered his apartment he was surprised to see Tommy sitting on his couch with his head in his hands. 

Joel’s stomach dropped at the sight, he already knew something was wrong. Heart breaking into a gallop against his sternum he quickly scanned the apartment, the open layout giving him a view of the whole room and you were nowhere in sight.

Joel's hands tightened into fists, his jaw tensing in anger and fear as he focused his intense gaze on his little brother who was now worrying his lip.

“Where is she,” Joel stated more than questioned in his deep southern timbre, his voice thick with emotion. Anger, fear, anguish and dread were all suddenly clogging up his throat. He swallowed to keep it contained, needing to keep his head on straight right now.

“I don’t know brother,” Tommy responded, guilt and slight fear painted his features as he looked up at his older brother.

“The hell do you mean you don’t know?” Joel growled as he prowled closer to his brother who quickly stood from his slumped position. “I trusted you to watch her back, to keep her safe for me!” Joel couldn’t control himself, the emotions from the thought of losing you, of never seeing you again were too much to handle and he grabbed his brother by the neck of his jacket and shook him.

“The deal went bad! Me and Tess got separated from her!” Tommy quickly explained, his hands gripping onto Joel's shaking wrists. “We tried to find her but… shit man, things are more fucked up out there than ever. We were hoping she’d made it back here.”

Joel pushed his brother away from him, afraid he would start swinging. Rage and fear consumed him, tightening his heaving chest as he ran his hands through his greying hair. He quickly stalked over to his weapons stash beneath the floorboards while vile images of you being scared and hurt, being taken by sex traffickers and all manner of other atrocities he’d seen and heard about over all his years surviving in this hell were flooding his mind.

If it was the last thing he did, he’d find you himself and bring you home. The thought of never finding you was unspeakable and he quickly pushed that horrible scenario out of his mind. But then another took its ugly place as he quickly grabbed his go bag; what if he found you dead or dying?

Well that would be the end, wouldn’t it?

He paused before looking at his little brother, standing before him paler than he’d seen him in a long time. Exhaustion was dragging Tommy down and Joel knew that he and Tess had done the best they could to find you; they loved you too.

“I’ll find her and bring her back,” Joel stated.

“I’ll come with-”

“No… thank you, but no. You're exhausted, you’ll just slow me down. If I don’t come back… then I…,” Joel trailed off as he watched anguish and fear become apparent on his little brother's face.

“Joel. Don’t. Please, brother,” Tommy begged, already knowing where Joel’s head was at.

“I can’t…” Joel felt his voice break as tears flooded his vision, blurring the image of his baby brother walking towards him. 

Next thing Joel knew, his brother's arms were around him and Joel let himself feel the rare embrace for just a moment. He and his brother had never been the most affectionate with each other even before the outbreak, so the fact his brother was hugging him so tightly told him Tommy knew exactly what you meant to him. How could he not, with how blatant the two of you were with your lovesick need for each other. You had become his whole world, a quick spiral into passionate need that seemed to drive the two of you from the very moment you became one when he took you on that dirty warehouse floor three years earlier.

His head dipped to Tommy’s shoulder as silent tears rolled down his cheeks and into his patchy beard, into that place where you always kissed him, as if that spot had been made just for you. A place to kiss and lick and nibble like you loved to do when you both were intimate, which was basically whenever you were in the same room as one another, everyone else be damned.

Would Joel ever feel that again? Had you both made all the memories together that you ever would? The last time he saw you flashed in his mind, replacing the ugly panicked images from before. You’d smiled up at him, arms wrapped around one another, foreheads pressed together as you whispered your ‘see you laters’ - never ‘goodbyes’ - to each other, while Tess and Tommy looked on and rolled their eyes in annoyance at your overt pda.

The Joel of before had never been one for public displays of affection, to the point where one woman had broken things off with him because she’d said he was cold, that he didn’t care enough about her. He’d realised later on that she had probably been right. More conscious of how much affection he was giving in front of others than he should have been.

Now though, with you these last few years? Joel didn’t give a single fuck what people thought of how he held your hand, kissed you, sat you on his lap as he made deals with all kinds of people. He loved when you’d do the same, when you would kiss him in that spot that was surely made purely for your mouth while you rolled your hips against his hardening cock. The greedy eyes of lowlifes watching on in pure jealousy of how unashamed you were with showing everyone how wanton you could get for him. His precious little hell-raiser.

Shit, he’d fucked you outside before and hadn’t cared who’d heard. It had actually turned him on to know the residents had heard your desperate and lustful cries as you let him take you from behind in an alleyway between two apartment buildings. Anyone could’ve looked out and seen how Joel Miller got to have you be his, the most vicious beauty in all of Boston, submitting to him, belonging to him.

Joel quickly pulled away from Tommy before he got too emotional about how this day had turned into a fucking real life nightmare. 

As he strode towards his apartment door with his go bag on his back and his weapons tucked away on his person, he rubbed the tears from his eyes and face. He couldn’t look back at Tommy so he roughly pulled open the door and walked out with a quickly uttered, “see you brother.”

While descending to street level Joel struggled to get his emotions under control. It had been a long time since he had cried, since he had felt this scared and helpless, but he pushed through and began to formulate a plan on how he would get out of the QZ through a smuggler tunnel they had created two years ago. Then he would find you so he could bring you home, safe and sound.

There was no other option he would let himself consider from here on out, he needed to focus on his current mission.

Joel steeled himself as he walked out of the apartment building and turned right to head to the closest smuggling route out of the QZ. As he looked up to assess his surroundings he was stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of you standing in front of him.

His eyes widened in shock as you stood before him, a shaky vulnerable look on your pretty as sin face. Joel choked on your name in disbelief and before he knew it his hands were grasping your cheeks and his lips were crushing against yours in a desperate kiss.

He pulled away from your tight embrace to quickly gasp, “What the hell happened, baby?” Before he kissed you again and again and again. So relieved to feel you alive and whole in his arms once more.

But then worry clouded his mind; the look on your face as you saw him notice you replayed in his mind.

Joel once again pulled away from the desperate kisses you both were sharing to truly look into your wide teary eyes.

“Are… are you okay, sweetheart? Are you hurt? Let me see you,” Joel pleaded in a vulnerable whisper. He reluctantly pulled further away so he could assess you until you spoke for the first time since your reunion.

“I’m okay Joel, baby. I’m okay I promise!” You gasped as Joel began to pull up your sleeves and the hem of your shirt to see your slightly bruised and cut skin, clearly searching for a fatal wound like a bite that he thankfully would not find.

“Joel!” You shouted to get his attention, uncaring of the passers-by on the busy street taking notice of your desperate interaction.

Joel stopped his searching as you placed your hands on his cheeks and gave a soft smile when you saw the fear in his eyes recede into a warm relieved look of love that always made your chest flutter in unbelievable happiness, like butterflies bursting with life within you. You had never expected to get to this point with anyone, let alone the cold standoffish brute Joel Miller who had barely seemed to tolerate you the first few weeks after your initial meeting. 

To have this big, dangerous, sometimes scary but protective man look at you like you were his whole world was intoxicating. No wonder you could never keep your hands off of him. 

It had started after the first time you’d fucked, and that’s all it had been meant to be. A desperate fuck after a near death experience, both of you alone and thankful to be alive. You had exchanged no words but a heady look and before you’d known what was happening he was kissing into your mouth before pinning you onto the hard dirty floor and fucking you silly.

You knew he’d been sleeping with Tess at the time, although it wasn’t serious, and you had slipped into Tommy’s bed once or twice, but for years you had respected Joel’s leadership and strength, and of course enjoyed admiring how handsome he really was, but you both had never been particularly close, until then.

After, you had both agreed it wouldn’t happen again. You reluctantly agreed with him even though your legs had felt like jelly after the best orgasms you’d ever been given, having never before been fucked like Joel Miller liked to fuck. 

It happened again of course, the very next night when you took a chance and slipped into his room and cot. He hadn’t said a thing against it, only a cocky, “can’t get enough huh, hell-raiser?” 

After you sucked him to full hardness he’d let you ride him as fast or slow as you wanted while he just watched you. In the wake of your first orgasm Joel had snapped and took control once more by putting you on your back and practically folding you in half. He’d fucked you so hard you’d screamed your pleasure, so loud you had only realised afterward that Tommy and Tess must have been 100% aware of what was happening. But you’d come so hard you’d squirted all over Joel and made a complete mess, but you had seen in Joel’s eyes how much he’d absolutely loved it.

There was no talk of it never happening again after that, only an acknowledgement that business came first. A few months into your arrangement he began cuddling you after sex, asking you not to leave his bed in the sweetest whisper against the back of your head. You had agreed, threading your fingers through his and nodding with a simple, “yes Joel.”

And you hadn’t left, you both barely let the other out of your lovesick sight as you basically moved in with him. Tess and Tommy quickly moved out so they didn’t have to listen to the both of you ‘fucking every goddamn day.’

“I’m fine baby, I promise. Okay?” You kissed Joel softly bringing you back to the present, his arms tightening around you.

“I don’t know what I would’ve done if… fuck, I thought you were-” Joel was crushing you against him, lips brushing yours as he spoke. A tremble was in his voice, one you’ve come to know more over the years as he opened up to you about things from his past.

“I’m right here darlin’, right where I’m supposed to be,” you gently spoke while running your hands through his salt and pepper curls. The action always calmed him down.

“I love you so goddamn much, hell-raiser.” Joel smiled against your lips before kissing you again. You chuckled, feeling tears gather in your eyes at the silly pet name he’d given you after your first chaotic introduction years ago which involved you wielding a couple molotov cocktails. The first of many pet names he graced you with, but definitely your favourite.

“I love you too, big guy.”

Your back gently hit the apartment building as Joel increased the pressure of your kisses, a desperation taking over you both as the feeling of being reunited after a close call washed over you once again.

Joel hiked your leg up and ground his hardened cock against your rapidly soaking pussy making you gasp at the sting of pain the suddenness of your arousal wrought as it travelled deep into your rapidly warming core.

“Joel,” you panted into his mouth as he licked at your tongue before sucking it into his mouth with a growl of need you felt emanating from his belly which was pressed tight against yours.

“Fuck, need inside your tight little cunt right now, darlin’,” Joel rumbled before he hastily began to undo your jeans, his lips carving a wet path across your cheek and down your tilting neck. He bit you quick and hard there, marking you; claiming you. You gasped, your arousal seeping from your desperately empty channel and trickling into your panties as you tilted your hips against his rock hard cock.

Joel slipped his thick fingers into your wet slit making you moan into his mouth.

“Get a room,” you heard someone mutter as they walked past. Joel growled before pulling away to glare fiercely at the man who suddenly blanched before quickly scurrying away at the sight of Joel hovering over you with a murderous look in his eyes. 

You giggled at the interaction, drawing his attention back to you, his eyes softening at your mischievous smirk.

“Take me to bed, big guy. Remind me who I belong to,” you murmured before biting your lower lip in anticipation as Joel's eyes turned blacker than the deepest cavern within the fathomless ocean.

He grabbed you by the back of the neck and began to steer you back into the apartment building and up the stairs. You could feel his eyes on your ass before a slap landed there making you squeak excitedly. “Hurry the fuck up, darlin’,” Joel growled with a squeeze to your right cheek making you skip up the stairs quicker, panties practically drenched now.

The next second he was pushing open your apartment door, throwing off his bag and flipping you around to face him so he could kiss you hungrily once more. His thick tongue probed every part of your mouth, overwhelming you. You whimpered, your hands caressing through his hair to scratch gently at his scalp.

His grip on your thighs suddenly let you know what he was about to do and you braced your hands on his broad shoulders as he quickly hoisted you up, your legs wrapping around his hips. You both groaned and panted into one another's mouth at the feel of being pressed together.

You stilled when you heard the clearing of a throat. Joel groaned in annoyance as your lips separated wetly.

“Uh, sorry to interrupt,” Tommy said before covering a slight laugh with a cough, Joel glowered. “But I’m really glad you're okay, sweetheart.”

“Thank you, Tommy. I appreciate it.” You smiled, so glad to see him safe and sound too. You told him this and questioned where Tess was and he informed you that she was just fine also.

“I just wanted to say-” Tommy started to speak.

“Enough said,” Joel growled. “Talk later. We're busy, brother.” Joel raised his brows clearly unabashed at being caught in this position by his baby brother.

“Jeez, alright lover boy-” Tommy rolled his eyes.

“I swear to God Tommy if you don’t get the fuck out of here now I’ll-”

“Okay okay! We’ll catch up later, Christ.” Tommy shook his head but you could see he wasn’t truly annoyed by the relieved look on his face.

As Tommy made his way to the door, a smirk was painted on his handsome face. Joel just pierced him with a frustrated and grumpy glare, you couldn’t help but snort softly while still being held up in his strong arms.

“See you later Tommy, and tell Tess thanks as well when you see her,” you quickly uttered before you forgot all about Tess and Tommy in just a few seconds.

“Will do, sweetheart. See you later. You too, Romeo.” Tommy laughed before darting out the door as fast as he could once he’d heard Joel’s growl of annoyance.

“C’mon baby,” you murmured in his ear before sucking the lobe into your mouth bringing his attention back to you, his eyes softening once more. “Need to feel your big cock inside me, I feel so empty.” You pouted playfully even though you could still feel some of the adrenaline and fear from your near miss swarming inside you. 

You had very nearly not made it home to him and that thought made your heart jump and your hold on your lover tighten. You didn’t know if you could hold back on the avalanche of feeling you knew was headed your way.

“Poor baby,” Joel responded as he carried you to your bed and laid you down, his back not being able to hold you up for much longer, not if he was going to fuck you like you both needed after today. “Don’t you worry darlin’, I got you.”

Joel stood before you and began to remove the various weapons from his body, his dark intense gaze never leaving you as you began to writhe in need.

“Hurry Joel,” you whimpered, a desperation taking over now that you weren’t in his arms anymore. You felt tears gather in your eyes at just how lucky you were to be back here with him, safe and sound. You couldn’t hold back a hiccupping sob threatening to escape you.

Joel took notice and quickly hovered over you, one hand on your hip, the other palming your cheek and wiping a tear away. “You're okay now, baby. I got you.” He kissed your forehead and you could hear him inhale your scent as he did.

“Joel.” You murmured, feeling a little overwhelmed. You needed to release these emotions, and Joel was the best at giving you just what you needed, what you both needed.

“I know, sweetheart. I know,” Joel murmured, his own gaze tear filled meeting yours before he pressed his lips to yours for a desperate kiss. You struggled to keep up with his kisses at first but then he was scraping his teeth down your jaw and sucking on your neck.

You bucked your hips up against him, his leg slipping between yours so you could grind on him. You whimpered, needing his bare skin to be slick against yours as you once again fitted together so perfectly. 

You needed the intimacy and the vulnerability of being beneath his broad form as he fucked you deep and hard, imprinting himself within you forever.

As if Joel had read your mind, he pulled back from nuzzling between your breasts, his big strong hands grasped the collar of your shirt and ripped it down the middle in one go.

You gasped at the action, at the grimace of need on his face as he began to manhandle you in a desperate need to get you naked beneath him. You unhooked your bra as he roughly pulled down your jeans and panties in one go, snarling in annoyance when your boots hampered his mission.

As soon as you were bare Joel was back on the bed and spreading your legs up and wide so he could see your perfectly soaked little cunt fluttering needily around nothing. Fuckin’ Heaven right there, he thought to himself as he dragged his eyes up your heaving belly and chest to see you biting your lip, small hands fisting the sheets beneath you.

“Please Joel, want you naked against me,” you practically begged, pupils blown out, eyes still glistening. He knew from your reaction something had scared you, probably a moment of terror in thinking you weren’t going to make it back to him in one piece or at all. The idea of that being a very real possibility that could have happened shook him to his core and he quickly tore off his clothes, not wanting to be away from your touch for longer than necessary.

He began to kiss every scrape and bruise as he made his way up your chest. Soon his eyes were looking deep into your soft gaze, your arms and legs wrapping around him and he knew he was finally home. He brushed his nose along yours, both his hands tunnelling into your pretty hair as he gazed down at you.

“You and me, darlin’, that’s all I need. Just you, I fuckin’ love you, you drive me goddamn insane with it, you know that?” His gaze was soft but intense, his words rumbled out of his pouty lips.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your own hands rubbing his back soothingly before sliding up his neck and into his hair. “But I feel the same.”

“Don’t be sorry, darlin’. You’re the best thing that's happened to me in a really long time. Just scares the hell outta me,” he nearly choked on his words before burying his face into the sexy slope of your neck, inhaling your heavenly scent. “Can’t lose you, baby.”

“I’m right here, not losing me, Joel,” you responded softly before kissing his scarred temple.

Joel slowly lowered his hips as he lifted his head to kiss you, his weeping cock covering your pussy, soaking him even further. Normally Joel would prepare you, stretch you with his thick fingers and make you come on his tongue but from the way you were mewling and moving against him he knew you both needed to become one right now. Besides, you had told him plenty of times how you liked the slight pain his cock created when it stretched your little hole open, the  girth of him too wide to fit comfortably at first.

You both angled your hips, well versed in the best way to slot together hands free. Your breath hitched when the crown of his twitching cock popped inside you.

“So fuckin’ tight and wet for me, baby girl.”

“Joel,” you whimpered against his lips before your hips pushed against him, sliding more of him within your aching heat.

He stared into your watery eyes as he gripped your hip with a bruising grasp and began to push into your tightness. He loved watching the way your mouth opened into a little ‘o’ shape and the space between your brows creased cutely in pain.

“Takin’ my cock so well, you precious little fuckin’ thing,” Joel growled as he bottomed out causing you to gasp. Your perfect cunt clenching around him was like nothing he’d ever felt before. 

Your breasts heaved against his chest as he let you adjust to the stretch of him for a moment. But he had little patience right now, so he soon pulled back making you whimper sweetly and he kissed into your mouth soothingly before he moved his hand to the back of your neck and held it tightly.

Pulling back from the kiss he quickly punched his hips down and forward, slamming deep inside you and causing your body to jolt from the force, his hands holding you steady. You weren’t going anywhere.

The squeak you let out was choked off when he did it again, and again. The soundtrack to your desperate love making became the wet slapping of skin on skin, the gasps of pleasure and the cries of pain as you melded together as one. Sweaty skin sliding against hardened nipples and harsh gasps were shared as he rhythmically pounded you into the mattress

“Joel, Joel, oh God Joel don’t stop!” you pleaded wide eyes staring up at his fervent expression as he gazed down at you.

“Fuck! That’s it baby, take my cock.” Joel grimaced in pleasure.

“Please, baby. Go faster!” You yelped as his hips smacked against you, his heavy balls soaked from your arousal.

He granted your plea, arching his back so he could suck on your tight nipples, hands grasping under and over your shoulders as he began to piston sharply within you, pulling you onto his thick cock.

“Yes yes yes, gonna come,” you suddenly gasped and Joel knew it was true by how your tight little pussy started fluttering around his shaft, sucking him deep.

“Come all over me, baby girl,” he whispered against your parted lips, sweat building between you as you both moved in sync, chasing that beautiful euphoria he always granted you.

You had been feeling it build within you so deeply, you knew you were about to crest that tremendous wave of pleasure you associated with Joel and how he always spoiled you rotten when you made love. It hit deep and sharp, making you arch your back and cry out against his lips as your pussy clutched so tightly to him, never wanting him to stop or leave your most vulnerable place that he always cherished.

It caught your breath as you ascended into ecstasy, all you could do was whimper against his plush lips as you came. His hips stuttered as you tightened, unable to keep up the pace at how tightly you were grasping at him. Nails scraping his back, legs spreading further, toes curling against his thick thighs.

“Good girl, baby,” he practically whimpered as you came around him. “That’s my good girl. Fuck, I love you,” Joel growled while he quickened his pace again, the ache in his lower back completely ignored. He sat up a bit, lifted your legs so they fell over the bend in his elbows before planting his hands on the bed.

You were practically folded in half, completely dazed from that intense orgasm as he manoeuvred you however he liked. You loved when he treated you like his precious little fuck doll. 

“Oh my God, baby,” you gasped, just watching as his hulking form rose above you, his dark desperate eyes dragging from your own eyes to your bouncing breasts as he started pumping his cock into you once more. The generous crown of his cock repeatedly hit that amorous spot deep inside you that only Joel could locate.

His stare was fixated on where you were joined together as he continued to thrust, slowing a little to admire it. “Sweet little pussy is creaming all over my dick, fuck!” Joel couldn’t take his eyes away from it, your abused hole flushed with arousal and soaked with your mingling desire. “God damn, baby girl. You can really take some cock, huh?”

All you could do was whimper at the vision he made above you, greedy lustful stare focused on your needy hole stretched around the wide circumference of his wet cock pumping inside you. The broad expanse of his tanned slick shoulders, the strength of his hands as they wrapped his calloused fingers around your hips, angling them perfectly. He sat up, his knees bracketing your ass and you quickly pressed your hands up behind you knowing exactly what was coming. Your heart jumped in your chest, you loved to watch him above you like this; using you, loving you so deeply and harshly.

“Gonna cum so deep inside your cunt, baby girl. Never gonna be rid of me,” Joel growled before rolling his hips into you, knowingly hitting that special place inside you that usually had you squirting all over him. 

He never forgot that moment you’d shared with one another. Only your second time together and he had given it to you so good it was probably one of his proudest moments, his ego getting a huge boost that had been well needed at the time. 

You had been so shocked and loud, you’d practically screamed at the sensation, shivering so vulnerably beneath him afterward it had stuck deep inside his chest afterward. It had pushed him to coo to you softly at your little whimpers, telling you that you were okay, that you had been so sexy and beautiful for him.

His hips were rolling and thrusting into you making you moan and stare up at him in awe. This man was all fucking yours.

“Mine, Joel. You’re mine.”

“Yeah, baby. All yours, this cock is all yours. And who does this pussy belong to, hmm?” he questioned with a smirk as he stared down into your wide eyes as his hips picked up the pace, you continuing to reciprocate his movements like a well choreographed dance.

“Yours, my pussy’s all yours. No one else's, baby.”

“Good girl,” Joel praised before leaning over  you, his pretty lips pressing into yours, widening your mouth and swiping his tongue against yours as your pussy flooded his cock and balls creating a slapping sound that made you whimper and blush.

“Always so fuckin’ wet for me. Ain’t ya, sweetheart,” Joel groaned. “Fuckin’ love you.”

“Love you too, now fill me up, baby. Please!” You gasped against him, your foreheads now pressed against one another, mouths sharing harsh breaths. 

You braced against the headboard with one hand while moving the other to his curly hair desperately seeking purchase as your arousal grew once more. Core warming and tightening in an impending orgasm and when he shifted your position so he could press against your clit and urethra with his fingers your stomach jumped, knowing exactly what he wanted from you.

“Oh Joel,” you whined.

“Yeah baby, drench me please,” Joel encouraged and you began to flutter around the precise pumping of his twitching cock within your sensitive walls.

It hit you suddenly, your back arched with a quick scream of pleasure and the overstimulation that you associated with squirting. Joel groaned in pleasure as you burst with feeling.

“Atta fuckin’ girl, baby! That’s it, shit I’m gonna come,” Joel gasped as you soaked him, a vision beneath him, sweat slicked tits bouncing, mouth agape in a shout of intense pleasure and eyes practically rolling into the back of your head.

Joel's hips stuttered, his balls tightening even more as he felt his pleasure travel from deep within his core, up to the swollen tip of his cock. “Fuck, baby,” Joel whimpered into your neck as he began to spurt his come deep into your womb, hips stuttering and grinding against yours with the need to stuff you full of his cum.

“Yes, Joel,” you whimpered as you felt him empty himself within you. You nudged his head as he did, wanting to see his handsome face in pleasure. He lifted and looked down at you, cum still spilling, overflowing you and trickling down your ass. “That’s it, baby. Fill me up good. I want all your cum,” you whispered softly as you gazed up at him. His face was so vulnerable and needy in that moment you couldn’t help but clench around him once more.

His balls had emptied with each ejection of his cum inside you, hips finally stilling as his cock became oversensitized to the stimulation still happening.

“Easy, baby girl. Easy.” Joel chuckled as he fell against you, completely spent before kissing you so softly that your heart jumped. “You think I can go again at my age?”

“You think I can go again after that?” You giggled breathily, completely satisfied. The impending avalanche of emotions purged from you in pleasure by your lover.

“Yeah, baby. Don’t doubt yourself.” Joel rubbed his nose against yours affectionately, a small grin on his face, eyes as soft as chocolate ice-cream.

“Then you don’t doubt yourself either.”

“I know my limits and my back is shot, darlin',” Joel grumbled in annoyance, his softly grinning face turning so grumpily pouty you couldn’t help but melt, you loved that you got to see this side of him that he unveiled to no one else but you. He really was all yours.

“Oh, poor baby,” you whispered to him before nudging him to the side so he could rest flat on the mattress, his softened dick slipping out of you with a flood of his cum which tickled your still trembling thighs. You definitely planned on giving him another back massage as soon as you both got some sleep, he had fucked you so perfectly; hard and loving. He certainly deserved it. “Rest now, we’re together and that’s all that matters.”

Joel sighed as he settled into the admittedly uncomfortable bed, but with you snuggling up against his chest he had no complaints.

“I don’t want you goin’ out there without me anymore, okay? Fuck the business, you’re more important.”

You looked up at him “As long as you don’t go out there without me either, we’re more important,” you agreed with a sigh of relief.

“Just you and me, darlin’. That’s all I need,” Joel assured you.

You snuggled deeper into his strong arms, a warm sense of safety and love blanketing your heart as his arms tightened and his lips kissed the top of your head with a mumbled, “Love you, hell-raiser.”

You kissed his chest before replying, “Love you too, big guy.”

A/N: Thank you to any of you who made it to the end of this, I hope you enjoyed it! Please consider reblogging and/or commenting to help this little story of mine find new readers💕😘

[rhiannonsknife]

IM BAAAACK life has been creatively rotting my brain but i reappear! this time not with smut (rip but it will be back) but with mind-numbing fluff

i've been thinking a lot about the fact that rhiannon is painfully lonely in canon and it always makes me go insane and crazy... i need to be the one to show her the affection she's been craving for so long! it starts off small - making her coffee because you notice how she always brings coffee to her coworkers with no thank you's. then you start bringing her little gifts, small things like staplers or hole punches that you've heard her complaining about because the ones she's been given don't work. it's at this point that she's already head over heels for you, and you've barely done anything but show her human decency. you don't even have to think about your response when she asks you out on a date; it's an immadiate yes. when the two of you start dating, you always find a way to go above and beyond. flowers in a nice vase when she gets a raise at work, a bath drawn with a bath bomb and candles because she texted you that she wasn't feeling well, and frequent date nights with the best wine you can afford. she's not at all used to anyone in her life being this kind to her, and the first few times you show her affection, she busts out into tears (and even after that, she gets misty-eyed every time). you just love her so much that you want to make sure that she gets treated like she should've always been treated this whole time

also making the executive decision to sign off with 🪐 from now on

welcome 🪐 anon!! <3 i adore your thoughts omg!! seeing you in my inbox never fails to make my day!!! 😁

this is something i think about alllll the time!! my number 1 love language is definitely either gift-giving or acts of service but like…i‘d go CRAZY with these for rhiannon!!! i could fix her guys!!

she’s so startled to find that first coffee on her desk that marks the beginning of your relationship. her eyes would be so wide in surprise. sure, she’s been the one to make coffee for her colleagues all the time, but not once had anyone acknowledged that, let alone bothered to return the favor. ever. but you’ve seen her. of course you have. your heart had ached for her every time she’d brought coffee for her coworkers only to be ignored all over again. it was about time someone did something nice for her.

her reaction, however, has you wondering how long it truly has been since somebody did something for rhiannon. anything at all.

she’s sputtering on and on about how you “didn’t have have to do that” and how she’ll “definitely pay you back” for going out of your way to bring some good coffee from the café down the road instead of the shitty kind from the office’s machine.

from this point forward, you always bring her coffee whenever you go out for your break. it becomes your little routine: walking past her desk, calling out her name, and watching how her head will instantly snap in your direction. the smile she flashes you every time is what gets you through your shifts. you learn rhiannon’s coffee order by heart before you make up a nickname for her that only you ever use so she'll know you're approaching just be the way you're cheerfully calling "rhee" through the office. you learn, over time, that she’s got a massive sweet tooth and start bringing a cookie to her coffee as well.

it becomes your thing. something the two of you share in the otherwise rather boring everyday life. if rhiannon is still out by the time you come back, you’ll leave the things on her desk and she will know that you’ve thought of her when she comes back. she could quite literally combust whenever she gets back to a warm coffee and a snack left for here because for the first time, someone cares!! someone sees!! just when she thinks she couldn’t fall even more in love with you from afar, you come up with yet another thing to brighten up her days: she hadn’t thought anyone would overhear her cursing the cheap hole punchers everyone’s been given until she finds a brand new, perfectly working one along her coffee one day.

she looks at you from across the room, clearly in disbelief, and just barely catches your knowing smile as you quickly turn away.

when you start dating, shortly after this incident, it is only because rhiannon finally has it in herself to approach you: she is so nervous to talk to you that she literally has to give herself a mental pep talk before approaching your desk at all. on top of that, she's too flustered to actually call it what she wants it to be -a date- and you have to take over, sensing her endearing nervousness. “i was- uhm- well i was wondering if you’d wanna come grab a coffee? i was about to leave but i think your lunch break is about to start too, isn’t it? not that i was like- stalking your lunch break schedule, or whatever! i just thought it would be nice…” she's blushing like crazy, ready for immediate rejection. instead, you smile at her and ask: “as a date?” god, rhiannon could melt right then and there!!! she would, but you instantly get up when she confirms this, so there's no time to.

after this, there’s quite literally no stopping you.

once she’s your girlfriend officially you make it your job to ensure rhiannon never feels lonely or invisible ever again. that first time she comes home to you being there, it’s already enough for her to feel appreciated: to come back to a house that actually feels like home with somebody waiting for her. and that’s before she walks in and sees all that you’ve prepared for her: homemade dinner, candles set up on the table, a fresh bouquet of her favorite flowers…

rhiannon starts sobbing instantly. you’re so worried, thinking you’ve overstepped or done something wrong to upset her. that is until she wraps her arms around you and covers you in kisses, hoarsely thanking you for the surprise. “i don’t deserve you” she claims through the tears. “i really, really don’t deserve you”

but of course she does and, of course, you’ll do it again. whether it’s by “small” gestures like sending her playlists of songs that make you think of her, remembering her favorite snacks when you’re out grocery shopping or taking care of her after a rough day, running her a bath and washing her hair for her or bigger things you prepare for her. surprise date nights that take some time to prepare but it’s all worth it when you get to watch rhiannon’s reaction. a planned trip for her birthday, where you take her somewhere nice that she always wanted to visit. literally anything to make her happy and give her the life she always deserved!!!!! <333

[tare-anime]

I've watched Spy x Family Code White!!!!

And and ........!!!!

OmG!!!!

It's so totally awesome!!!

Tbh, I've never watched anime movie that good before!

I might be biased, but truly, it WAS so AWESOME that I'm planning to rewatch it (if I've ever managed to find extra free time)

My full with spoiler review under the cut

So first of all, the animation quality WAS top notch!

They way they draw scenery, background, lighting, camera movements. OmG!! I really love how WIT studio pay so much attention to details. And the smoothness of it.

The scenery of snowy mountains, sun light reflections through crystalize ice, the water...... wow!

And then there were the difference in way of drawing scenes. Like Anya's imagination was drawn so cartoony, meanwhile Yor's fiery 🔥🔥🔥 fight with type F was drawn with so much intensity, and Loid's stealthy fight was drawn with different color as if Loid was in different dimentions than the rest of the enemies because he was the only one in disguises.

This different way of drawing scenes kind of like Spiderman into the spiderverse, but not to that extent. Nevertheless, it's super awesome.

The foods!!! OmG! Those were detailed and awesome food drawings that make me drools 🤤🤤🤤 desserts, main courses, even snacks!! Wooooaaaa

The action!!! I bow down to the animators. WIT studio once again showing off their skills in drawing super awesome fight action scenes. They draw the character movements very well. Even Fiona get her short glimpse of action scene and that's awesome!

Loid's different action tones animation is super awesome, but I have to bow down and thank the animation team in making Yor (my queeeennn 🛐🛐) being super badass!!! The way she ended the fight with type F??? Guh..... I need all my will power not to screamed "That's my queen!!" in the middle of theatre 🤣

Of course like all anime movies out there, we have to lower our expectation regarding plots. (Plot? What plot? We're here to see the family awesomeness 🤣)

We can easily spot the re-use of plot from canon material but was shown in different font, such as:

Yor's jealousy towards Fiona, that leads her thinking she's inadequate mom and wife, that was a result from her overthink her 3 gossipers cowokers

Fiona's obsesiveness in trying to impress Twilight and becoming the Forger mother

Drunk Yor vs Twilight which ended with Yor sleeping

The super direct advance of Twilight that sucessfully making Yor super embarrases that her body instinc injured Loid

Super long and hiperbolic poop joke from Anya

(These managed to make us the audiences LOLed though 🤣🤣🤣)

Not to say, plot holes (?) Or plot that make you go "huh?", such as:

The super unnecessary idea of replacing Loid with other incompetent agent for a mission as important as Op.Strix

The possible stella from a cooking contest that end up all for nothing because of technicallity malfunction

Putting a very valuable microchip inside a common trunk, and all of a sudden was transported in a common train, leniently lying around in a place where a kid can meddle with it. Secured with only 1 very common key.

A secret recipe of dessert that is a secret but the restaurant owner can give the ingridients to stranger because the owner felt guilty that Anya's share was taken by a foodie adult with military power.

An old plane memento that somehow still in prime condition that can be used by Twilight to pursue Anya's kidnappers.

I can't be helped. The animators may not create something that might disturb canon stories afterall. So these plots were just there to drive the story forward, and forward the story goes!!

(Despite all the things I mentioned above, I still enjoyed the story well.)

And then, last but the most important things, the movie managed to deliver the family awesomeness so well!! The animators clearly know the character and character dinamics so very well. And I, again, bow down to them. 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

There are so many moments that will make you go "awwwwwww" and give you so much fluff and sweetness you'd have diabetes right away.

The way Loid always tried his best to give the best for the family, but he forget that the family IS the important one. And Yor was there to softly remind him of it. (This scene was so soft I really teared up 🥲🥲🥲🥲)

The way Anya tried her best to help her papa in acquiring the ingridients because that's the mission was, but eventually she got into trouble. And yet at the end Loid was still very proud of her.

The way Yor took care of Anya and play with her during the trip, the way she protected Anya during their initial fight and at the end of the fight (so many mother daughter moments!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰)

The difference way of fighting between Twilight and Thorn Princess. Like Twilight will go all stealth and disguises until he can't. Meanwhile Thorn Princess was just strorm right through the front door (or rear wall in this movie), demolishing everything while at the same time politely asking for her daughter and husband 🤣🤣🤣

The way all of family working together so that the plane didn't crash at the town, and the way they laugh (Yor and Anya were laughing out loud, meanwhile Loid was chuckling) when all of them managed to "safely" landed.

Good boy Bond always tried his best to support Anya and even galantly tried to defend her but alas, he was no match to human enemy. 🥲🥲

I was just 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

And really, Endo should take notes.

Because all of these are what make we love Forger family. And that it IS possible to make the family do a mission together without revealing their secrets. Like Loid's lousy excuses that make Yor went wooooww, Yor's even more lousy half lies that Loid believes just like that 🤣🤣🤣🤣 (these two omG!)

I also love how Anya as the captain of TwiYor ship actively pushing her parents. Yes Anya 🥰🥰🥰

I also love how the main villain able to recognize Twilight in disguises via the unusual scent. Like. Woa!! That is so possible!! I mean, latex should have a very distinctive smell afterall.

All in all, truly an amazing first movie!!! I do hope one day the anime team will continue to make amazing movies in the future. 🥰🥰🥰

[fiddlepickdouglas]

Where do you watch your Thai BL dramas and do you recommend any to start with?

WOW how did I miss seeing this????

Oh boy this is gonna take a while for me to properly answer because you managed to ask, in so few words, a question that has a long answer! (Which I am all too delighted to give, HEHE)

This ended up being such a long post omg, here's a read more.

So starting with where: There's quite a few places. Streaming services with a prescription, YouTube, and even a few free sites where fans will typically upload content (depending on availability and access, these update latest if a show can be found at all).

Streaming platforms (featuring Chinese, Taiwanese, Japanese, Korean, and Thai content):

iQiyi - Chinese owned, has a free option with ads and a subscription option. Also features bonus content on certain shows that subbed users can access if you're into that. Has a good balance of stuff that isn't LGBTQ+, lots of great Chinese wuxia - I'm honestly amazed they have as much queer shows as they do but I am not complaining because there's a lot of good ones there.

GagaOolala - Taiwanese owned, has a free option with ads and a subscription option. Stout LGBTQ+ collection. There's certainly other programming but it's thing is being more out and proud, so it's a win for me.

Viki - American owned, allows users to add/edit subtitles. I haven't used this one much, but I haven't needed to get a subscription so far with the shows I have sought to watch and haven't been bothered with ads either? Not sure how that works but I haven't needed to bother looking into it lol

Other sources I've used to watch other BLs are YouTube (there's so many, and they're for FREE), DramaCool, kisskh, and Bilbili.

In this next bit, I'll be summarizing different studios that produce Thai shows, including Thai BL specifically. I'll summarize the studio and then list recommendations for shows.

First up:

GMMTV - (most content on YouTube, some has been put on iQiyi and Gaga though) This is a popular one for Thai shows, and Thai BL especially. It's nicknamed the Disney of BL for a reason (pumps out a lot of new shows each year, huge roster of actors signed to them, very focused on branding and promotion, etc.). A lot of people's first Thai BLs are among their shows, since it was the company that produced the show that launched Thailand's BL industry onto the map. They can be hit or miss with the level of satisfaction, but overall there's plenty to choose from and much to recommend.

Shows I recommend from this company:

Bad Buddy

This is the first one I watched and it changed my fucking life. Pat and Pran are the perfect mix of next door neighbors who were raised to be rivals, but they can't help becoming friends, and eventually fall for each other. It does great subversion of a number of tropes and has a kissing scene that so memorable I bought a t-shirt that's worn in it. The acting is superb and it's both funny and devasting in a lot of good ways. There's a sapphic side couple who are incredibly cute as well!

Be My Favorite

Pisaeng and Kawi, two guys who can't seem to accept their feelings, each live out multiple time lines where they can't help but be drawn together when Kawi is given a time traveling device. This show ponders the affects of one's actions and how living your truth can make or break the happiness you seek in life. This show was unprecedented in how good it was, especially since the leads were an unusual pairing. I love them I love them I love them.

SOTUS

This is the one that kick-started everything back in 2016 for Thai BL. It follows a group of college freshman who are subject to ritual hazing by their seniors, and one student worms his way into the heart of the senior leader. This show set out to censor fags (cigarettes) and not fags (gays). There's so much cultural significance that it's difficult to describe. It sets the tone for a number of BLs to follow.

Not Me

Do you like gays? Do you like social activism? Do you like batshit plots that put you on your fuckin knees for the whole ride? Have we got a show for you. I don't know how to summarize this one without immediately feeling insane, I love this show with all my goddamn heart. Twins Black and White get separated because they have a connection where they can feel the same things when they're close, and it has proven dangerous. Black gets put in a coma and White takes on his identity and joins an anarchist gang to find who hurt his brother. Not everything is what he thinks, though. Also this show inspired my first tattoo because Yok is my favorite boy forever and ever amen.

The Warp Effect

Alright, it's not a BL, technically, but my GOD is it queer. Don't believe me? Here's a list that I made of not even all the reasons why this show is so queer. It addresses so much about sex ed, relationships, consent, kink, body shaming, and even features a non-binary character. A boy, who made a promise to his late mother to save his virginity until marriage, breaks the promise and wakes up in the future. He has to help old friends and acquaintances resolve things that happened on that fated night if he hopes to return to his youth.

3 Will Be Free

Also technically not a BL, but it is poly!! A sex worker, a club host, and the son of a mafia boss end up on the run together after being involved with the wrong people and being in the wrong place...and killing a guy. By the same director of The Warp Effect, so you're guaranteed a similar flavor of thorough queerness.

More shows by the company that I recommend: A Tale of 1000 Stars, Moonlight Chicken, Enchanté, Vice Versa, The Eclipse, My School President, Wandee Goodday, Only Friends, Midnight Musem, The Gifted (those last two aren't BLs but the vibes are there).

Next up!

Idol Factory - (YouTube channel for watching) Founded by actor Saint Suppapong with the purpose of creating a studio that harbors a safer and more positive experience for people in the industry. Well known for producing one of the first and most popular GLs or girls love shows.

Shows I recommend from this company:

GAP The Series

Sam has been Mon's idol since she was little and now she's secured a job working at her company! She's so excited! Until she realizes that Sam is...kind of heartless. Her unwillingness to let her boss walk all over her does more than win over a good professional relationship. It's got all the drama of class divide and arranged marriage along with it, so it's a fun ride and makes for an iconic entry for lesbian cinema.

The Sign

Phaya and Tharn aren't just reincarnated lovers, they weren't even human before! The story follows a curse that's followed them since they first met as naga and garuda, both powerful legendary creatures who have fought each other for ages. In the present, they train as police officers and end up working together in a case related to Tharn's tragic past.

The Loyal Pin

This one actually hasn't started airing yet (August 4th!!!!) but it's about a lady and a princess who grew up together. From the looks of things, it's gonna have drama and angst up the wazoo so I'm looking forward to it.

More shows by the company that I recommend: Secret Crush On You (I haven't personally seen this one but it's been on my list and highly recommended)

Next up!

Domundi - (uncensored versions on iQiyi, cut versions on YouTube) It's more of a "content creator" company, so it includes musicians as well as actors, so there's not many shows under their wing. But they are good with high heat (more explicit) BL stories. One currently airing, Battle of the Writers, includes Chinese wuxia elements which is incredibly interesting and kinda ballsy (there's suspected attempts to lower viewership for censorship reasons). I highly recommend watching it just for the sake of elevating it, there's a cut version on YouTube.

Shows I recommend from this company:

Bed Friend

Poor Uea is traumatized to hell and back; it's like the world is out to get him. He and his coworker King decide after a one night stand to be exclusive fuck buddies, and ngl it's HOT. We get catboy kinks in this one! Their connection deepens and they have to figure out what they both want from each other. Also all the shitheads get owned, it's really nice to watch. It inspired a Jennette McCurdy meme from me.

Middleman's Love

This is the story of Uea's best friend Jade, who sees how happy his friend is in his new relationship, and takes his turn being Emma Woodhouse. Well....it doesn't go to plan. He keeps pushing Mai toward someone else and doesn't realize that Mai likes him. This one starts incredibly goofy (I put that as a warning), and then gets steamy later on.

Battle of the Writers

This one just started airing! Ob-un is accused of plagiarizing fellow author Chan, and after things have been cleared they end up on a writing team together. The wuxia characters here are characters from their novel. It seems their relationship will parallel certain aspects of the story.

Next company!

Wabi Sabi - (YouTube channel for shows) They've recently lost a whole bunch of actors (several to GMMTV no less) due to terminating artist management, so I'm not sure what the future looks like, but they've released several shows that are considered BL staples.

Recommended:

Until We Meet Again

Dean and Pharm are reincarnated lovers who previously had a tragic end. This one is heavy on the emotions, the first 10 minutes took my fucking knees out. Has lot of themes of intergenerational trauma and how important having supportive parents can be. Pharm is so cute, I need to squish him!

Between Us

It starts around the same time as Until We Meet Again, but from the perspective of Team and Win. They have their own angst issues and family traumas that make them messy, and there's a lot more development of the side characters that were featured in the first series as well. I especially enjoy the sideplot for gamers Waan andTul, lol, I wish they could get their own series too! I do recommend watching UMWA first if you don't want to be confused about a few scenes in this one.

Final company, let's go!

Change 2421 - The company that made the omegaverse alpha-alpha car racing BL. That one. Need I say more?

Recommended:

Pit Babe

Mx. omegaverse alpha-alpha car racing BL themself. Babe is a star racecar driver with special abilities. He's charmed when he meets Charlie, but things begin to change for him faster than he can recognize. The home he ran away from tries to force him back as he attempts to reveal its worst secrets.

This Love Has No Long Beans

This is currently airing! Oab is your chef from Kitchen Nightmares that judges harshly with a tough exterior but genuinely has a good heart. Having lost his passion for cooking, he decides to set up a contest to find a successor to take over his restaurant. Plawan chooses to enter this contest despite having no skills and already having gotten on Oab's bad side. Things get heated when Plawan's determination to make it through the competition ignites the passion for cooking again.

There's plenty more companies, but these are the ones I am most familiar with. But there's still more!

Shows I recommend that aren't from the companies listed above:

Kinnporsche

The mafia BL that took over. I have so much brain rot about this one that it's hard to summarize without going crazy. Porsche and his brother have been struggling to keep their beloved family home, so he takes an offer he can't refuse - working as a mafia bodyguard. Kinn, the current mafia head, is undeniably attracted to him and it ends up making them inseparable in more ways than one. I especially enjoy the side couples, VegasPete and KimChay (there is ENDLESS insanity from all possible pairings tbh).

Love in the Air

It's kinda split into two stories, Payu (or Phayu, honestly the spelling gets switched a lot and even I don't stick to one thing) and Rain, and Prapai and Sky. PayuRain are the most couple ever, that's just the best way I can put it. The actors have incredible chemistry and set a fucking standard for making out. Sky and Prapai will make you cry. They handle some pretty intense material and do an incredible job with it. Also bisexuals with motorcycles and light mafia action.

I Told Sunset About You/I Promised You The Moon

Not only an iconic BL series that strives for telling an incredibly realistic story (no goofy sound effects or gags here), but the cinematography is absolutely gorgeous. Also the messiest bisexual awakening known to man. Oh my god. So much crying. Sooooo much angst. It's okay if you throw shit over this one, it's worth it, I promise. Tee and Oh go through pretty much everything that could make weaker couples hate the other person and that's what makes them top tier.

Ingredients

This whole series is a grocery store commercial? Ignore that, these roommates have the most adorable development. I binged this and was crying at 2am. Tops is an aspiring chef and Win is his himbo roommate who is trying to make it as a musician. As they each work toward their dreams, they become important aspects of each other's lives. Also, if you don't come out of this obsessed with Jeff Satur (or anything else he does), I will question your taste. Pun intended.

Old Fashion Cupcake

Japanese BL? Older queers? Office romance? Age gap? A confession scene that meets Jane Austen level standards of desperation? Togawa and Nozue are something else man. They make it a game to pretend to do what young women do as an "anti-aging" technique, but really it's Togawa's scheme to hopefully catch the eye of his boss. Incredible, no notes except maybe I'd like to have a Thai remake? Please?

And last but absolutely not least...

Semantic Error

A fantastic Korean BL. Rivals to lovers and 10000% ADHD4autism. Jang Jaeyoung is prevented from graduating by Chu Sangwoo and makes it his personal mission to get under his skin. And well....it works lol. They're both the most characters, I adore them and their chaotic stumbles into romance. Bonus Choi Yoona bisexual goddess side character, we love her.

Kiseki: Dear To Me

Taiwanese BL that's also split somewhat split between two stories. Zong Yi takes in a wounded Zhe Rui. The student realizes he's keeping a gangster in his dorm and tries to ignore his charms but ends up being drawn into his world. Meanwhile, Ai Di and Chen Yi, other members of the gang, deal with the consequences of Zhe Rui's disappearance.

Well. That was a whole lot. I hope this isn't too overwhelming for you! I've only been in the BL fandom for a couple years so this is barely scratching the surface as far as what's out there.

[niiine]

𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍

Character(s). Wanderer (Scaramouche)

Synopsis. Wanderer's voice lines (omg talk about redundancy) as your slow burn love story.

Fluff, comfort, CLICHE! CLICHE! CLICHE!

Mentions of Scara being taller than the reader. F! reader (because this is safer. I keep messing up gn reader fics because I always put her or any fem pronouns.)

Surely you don't expect me to proofread, right?

Not all of his voice lines are included, only the few where I can write something I enjoy BUT STILL WHY IS THIS SO LONG? Might do Xiao next but idk.

Babygirl Xiao ver.

NAMES

The first time you met was when lesser Lord Kusanali introduced you to the wanderer as his temporary companion. Something the latter deemed unnecessary as he will be staying under the Dendro Archon's supervision for a while.

It would be nice to have someone to talk to aside from me. The archon mused before leaving the two of you, saying something about discussing a few things with the traveller.

Your eyes travelled towards the lad in front of you, slender figure towering over yours. And his eyes— you couldn't point a finger at the emotions blaring through it, He's scary.

You inquire about his name, trying to start a proper conversation that may make him feel comfortable. But then all he did is stare at you for a good three seconds before clicking his tongue and walks away.

Talk about manners.

A bit irked by his actions, you followed through his steps before yanking his sleeves, "I asked what's your name"

The irritation in your voice and your bold actions amused the lad, if Kusanali thinks it's a good thing to have another companion, then surely she'll not complain if he enjoys himself a little, right?

"I've gone by many names throughout my life—" you noticed how he paused, and a flash of misery waved in his indigo orbs "But you can call me anything you want. Just don't disappoint me by your choices"

It took you days to decide, until you learned from the traveler that he was referred to as SCARAMOUCHE before things happen.

When you told the lad that it is what you plan on addressing him as, he refused right away. But your words struck something in him and somehow, he's glad it is what you've decided to.

"You've had so many unwanted things that relates to this name, and I want to turn it around."

SMALL TALKS

He always looks at you with bored eyes and crossed arms before turning his back at your every attempt to spark little chat.

And when I say every time, it means every time. Your first few days accompanying the lad were just awkward with him denying you any form of conversation.

But don't get me wrong, as much frustration it gave you, the wanderer is enjoying it. How your nose scrunch up, vivid annoyance, etc. He's loving how much entertainment you're giving him.

You've caught up to this, you really do. But you just want to feel the satisfaction of making him talk. Besides, how are you gonna comply to your archon's wishes if you can't talk to him?

That is until you stumbled unto the man in question sleeping. His face drawn in between fear and resentment as his chest heaved heavily, a drop of tears adorns his visage— A nightmare.

You shake the man awake, saving him from further heartbreak the dreamland is serving him.

And when he opened his eyes to look at you—archon's, when he looked at you. The steel emotions are gone, it doesn't looks like he's intimidating or anything alike.

To you, Scaramouche looks like a love deprived child.

His eyes flashed pain and exhaustion boring holes onto yours before he regained composure, the usual wanderer now back.

Yet you noticed how his hands still tremble, so you took it in yours, him wincing in the process. "What are your doing?"

"I don't know, but I'm here" you really don't, yet as he laid his head on your shoulders, shushing you as he do so, you know you're doing something good.

"Don't speak. It's aggravating when you try not to be awkward with silence"

ATTACHMENTS

If he weren't so pretty, you might have bruised his face by now.

Three months have passed after your fated interaction with the wanderer. And in such time, your patience isn't getting any longer.

"What? Gonna cry to Mama Kusanali now and ask to take you away from the meanie?" Scaramouche taunted you, just like yesterday, and the day before, and so on. "Such a crybaby, this is why you've got no lover still"

"Hah?! As if you have one! You're so tactless people will scurry away even before you speak" you spat back, missing the way he flinched at the thought.

"Heh? You think I've got a sharp tongue? I just tell things the way I see it. Isn't your problem that you're too sensitive?"

You end up arguing more, of course. But much to your amusement, and unusual worry, the lad toned down his insults for the following days.

You tried to confront him and his poor attempt at being friendly, but it's Scaramouche we're talking about. There's no way in hell he'll let you have what you want.

"Fine, fine. If you don't want to tell me, then don't" you notice how his face contorts into that of his when he's about to insult you, but then he holds it back.

You're not sure where you'll be shocked at. The way he controls his mouth, or his next choice of words—

"Since—since Buer brought you hear, you will not leave me right away even if I'm a bit tactless—right? "

I'M HERE

You watch his eyes narrow at the painful memory as he recalls what his creator did to him. Scara barely talks, and you appreciate the small moments he decides to tell stories about him self.

But when hurt become evident in his indigo orbs, you feel guilty for asking the wanderer.

He probably guessed your thoughts, flicking your forehead and muttering "I don't need pity, dumbass" before hiding his emotions once again.

"I don't pity you, idiot—" you started, gaining his attention. "You're kind. The world did things that made you mean though" he rolled his eyes at your words, ready to say something but you beat him to it

"But I admire you. You're strong. You've been wronged so many times and yet you're still willing to atone"

Your companion looks at you with confusion adorning his pretty face, words long died down in his throat so you decided to speak more.

"They may leave you, but I won't. If there will be a time that the strong you needs someone to wipe your tears, "

You took his gentle digits into yours, on usual occasion, he may have slap it away, but something tells him not to.

"I'm here. I will be here. " and with that, you have his eternal, undying loyalty.

SPECIAL TREATMENT

"Buer told you to bring an umbrella, didn't she?" you pursed your lips at his words. Your archon did remind you about bringing the said item, but then the sun was all high and mighty earlier today that you decided to neglect her words.

"Yes, but it doesn't look like it's gonna rain today!" you huffed, surely he wouldn't be that drenched if you two share his hat, right?

"But it did. So now, suffer"

Annoyed at the lad, and by the fact that he's right, you proceeds to stomp your feet away from the shed the two of you are currently residing, determined to get back to the city before the downpour comes heavy.

The wanderer watch as you angrily walked away from his direction. His idea of staying a little longer outside with you now in the dumps because your stubborn ass can't get a hint.

Sighing, he unleashes his elemental skill and hover towards you.

You met his indigo eyes, annoyance still vivid in yours. "You act like a five year old sometimes"

His words, as usual, irked you. but then the irritation quickly dissipates when he put his hat on your head and gestures you to climb up his back as he kneeled.

"We don't have the whole day dumbass"

You comfortably settled on his back while he secure your knees.

The journey back to the city was silent until you speak, and archons, the wanderer is grateful that his face is hidden from your sight.

"You smell nice"

CONFESSIONS

"Just do it"

You hesitantly placed your palms on his before he maneuvered your body and carried you princess style.

"Scara not too high!" you warned as he gives you a soft chuckle and called you a scaredy cat.

"Look" you heard him say, gesturing towards the scenery the night of Sumeru City can offer. To say that it was breathtaking was an understatement— the image before you is enchanting.

The flickering lights of the busy streets adorned the darkened city, and the stars above aren't taking any competition into account. The air up high is cold, considering the altitude, but something keeps you warm.

Scaramouche.

"It's beautiful"

The wanderer's gaze flicks towards you and saw how in awe you are at the view. He wonders, will you ever look at him the same way? he'll never know.

"Of course it is." he huffed, proud that he get to show you such a wonderful view. He almost dropped you, though, when you voiced out another thought of you.

"Do you consider me as pretty as this?"

one... two... three seconds and you brushed it off with a laugh. His silence is enough proof that once again, you sound so stupid.

"Kidding. idiot."

You thought that the discussion is over, but then when you were about to wave him good bye for the day, you felt a small tug at your sleeves.

You turned around to see a flustered wanderer, his eyes avoiding yours. "There's only one similarity between you and this city,"

He began, not entirely sure of whether to continue his little speech or not.

"I'm in peace."

Your heart flutters at his words. Maybe he feels the same way about you, maybe he doesn't. But he's an immortal, and you have a lifetime.

[rhiafayee]

Hello! I was wondering if you could write some form of our Captain coming home unannounced after a long stint in the field? (Take creative liberties). Reader doesn't know that he's coming back, but she's been on tenterhooks the entire time throughout, wondering when he will, so it's a massive surprise when he does (dare I say it's mostly horny Price?)

If this doesn't work for you, please let me know! Thank you :) 🧡

OMG my first ask 🥹 this literally means the world to me you don't understand, I appreciate you so much for being here 🫶

I know I've said i'm an NSFW blog, but just incase anybody here just wants to read good ol' fluff, I did label in this fic where it becomes NSFW! The last thing I want to do is make anyone uncomfortable or left out because they don't care to read smut! Reader has female anatomy but I did my best to not include pronouns just incase! I really hope you like it 🫶

Pairings: Husband!John Price x AFAB!Reader

Summary: After a long, dreadful period of time awaiting your husband's return from deployment, he shows up when you least expect it.

Warnings: Blood mentioned, non-severe injuries, afab, p in v, unprotected sex, just your casual smutty fic!

Thick, whitish-grayish clouds blanketed the sky, rain falling heavily from the base, an ombre effect forming as you viewed farther into the distance, watching the sky go from a shade of slate to a hue of black. The sound of the rain against the window caused you to curl up on the couch, a movie on in the background with the volume low enough to the point that you can hear the chatter of voices, but not enough to make out what is going on, and your favorite book seated comfortably in your hands. Next to you on the coffee table stands a hot mug, filled to the top, with only a quarter of an inch of space left to avoid any overflowing, of earl grey. A comforting blend that you find yourself pouring on rainy days like this. Adjacent to the mug was a picture frame, of you and your husband on your wedding day. Picking it up, you start to reminisce on the memories of your beloved, who is somewhere a thousand miles away right now.

He's been gone for what felt like years, but has really only been 4 months. The marriage was hard, to say the least. Drawn out periods of time where you aren't sure if he's even going to come home to you anymore, late nights arguing about how he's never here to spend time with you, thoughts of separation swarming your head at the lowest of points during your relationship. But every time he sees the doubt in your eyes, the realization that his work takes priority, he manages to ground you, tell you that one day he'll be home for good, and that he's never leaving again. The words start to feel empty after hearing them one too many times, now simply used as a way to comfort you; an empty promise. At least, that's what you've concluded as shortly after you make up from said arguments he's leaving you again. Missed birthdays, anniversaries, valentines day, Christmas, any calendar holiday you could think of, were rarely ever spent with your partner.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you put your book down, running your thumb across the glass of the picture frame where the polaroid of you in his arms, a white gown adorning your body, his ceremonial dress uniform on his, your lips attached together, just like your souls. A warmth overcomes you, a fuzzy feeling when you think of everything you've been through together. The late nights slow dancing in the kitchen, baking pastries together in the morning, attacking each other with the dry ingredients, making a mess of the floor and counters, as well as each other, everything now coated in flour. The small moments like this is what makes every argument and make-up worth it, knowing that the love you harbor for each other is inseparable, no matter the distance between you two.

Glancing at the clock, it reads 1406, 24-hour time becoming a usual part of your life, living with a military man. Taking out your grocery list, you figure now is a good time to knock out some errands to prepare for the upcoming week. After getting dressed and applying some of your make-up, you slip your shoes on and head out the door. The drive to the store is calm, the rain pattering against the roof of the car, the refraction caused by the rain water making the headlights in the distance slightly blurred.

Walking through the store, shopping cart in front of you, list in your left hand, your pen in the other, you slowly make your way through each aisle, scratching a line through each word in the list as the corresponding item makes its way into your cart. Strolling the cart to the front of the store and making your way through the checkout line, you grab your bags, pay the amount ringed out by the cashier, and make your way out. Upon placing all of your grocery bags in the car, you make your way towards the cart return. Glancing down to your phone to recheck the time, you feel a change in the texture of the ground below you, before you get the chance to process the difference, you feel a sharp pain in your ankle, jolting up your calf into your hip, and then a wave of agony hits you when your head eventually makes its way onto the pavement as well. Sitting up on your knees, you grab your nose. Blood. A lot of it. Pouring out as your eyes tear up and your ankle becomes numb.

Slowly making your way back into your car, you assess the damage. One, you're now soaking wet, and so is your car seat now, two, you seem to have sprained your ankle and broke your nose. Great. Right when you need your husband to take care of you, he's nowhere near to take action. Though your head feels dizzy, and you probably shouldn't be driving in your state, you realize that you need to get home to patch yourself up. As you start the ignition to your car, a check light comes up. Of course it does, you think. Low tire pressure. Just what you need right now on top of everything else. Taking a deep breath, you pull out of the parking lot and pray you make it home safe.

Limping your way into the house, not caring about the groceries now sitting in the car, an overwhelming feeling of dread and pain comes over you. Now that the adrenaline has worn off, everything hits you at once. The searing pain in your lower leg makes it hard to stand, and the dizziness in your head makes it hard to fight the pain off to at least limp your way to the couch. Letting your back hit the- now closed- front door, you sink to the ground, a fit of tears and sobs erupting from your body.

"Y/n?" A familiar gruff voice echos off the walls of the house. At first, you think it might just be your delusions from the injury and yearning, and then you feel a pair of warm hands on both sides of your face. Shooting your eyes open, you see the face of your husband, kneeling down to your level to look directly into your eyes. "Sweetheart, what happened?" John calmly spoke, wrapping his arms around you as to not panic you even more. A sentence of broken words and mumbles leaving your mouth, the struggle to breath growing. John doesn't speak, rather he comforts you by increasing the strength of the embrace, running his hands through your hair, soft "shhh's" leave his lips. Finally catching your breath, you feel your heart rate slowing down, but the pounding in your head getting more prominent. You look up to him, a defeated look in your eyes that breaks his heart into pieces, "I didn't think you were coming home." Your broken, hoarse voice breaks the silence. He feels his heart drop again at those words. "I'll always come home to you. You know that." He gives you a soft smile, kissing your forehead. "Now, why don't you explain to me what happened while I patch you up, yeah?" A soft smile forms on your lips, slowly nodding as to not aggravate your headache even more.

Picking you up, Price sets you down on the kitchen counter to grab some medical supplies, as well as pain medicine to soothe the pounding in your leg and your head. Filling up a small glass of water, he lifts you up once again and takes you to the bathroom to get some better lighting to patch you up.

-NSFW below-

Soft laughter fills the bathroom as Price listens to the day you've had. "So you're gonna tell me you let a puddle of mud ruin your day?" He chuckles lowly. You glare at him before sending him a cheeky smirk. Lifting you up carefully as to avoid hurting you, he lays you down on the bed. "You wait here while I go get everything from the car. Why don't you get yourself ready for me, love?" He finished his sentence with a wink that made your abdomen flutter. Months of being away from him, months without the ache in your nether regions being resolved, only relying on a couple videos shot by the two of you while you had the chance. Nothing you've tried could compare to him, though. Stripping down to nothing but your panties, you hear his loud, heavy footsteps booming through the hallway. Nervousness fills your body, the hairs on the nape of your neck standing at attention due to the anticipation of what was to come next.

You feel your clit throb, your subconscious becoming aware of the situation. His tall, broad figure enters through the doorway. Flicking the light switch down, the only light in the room coming from the storm still going outside, the gray tones flooding into the room and making your body look euphoric. The little light that is reflected into the room makes your eyes appear darker, the curves in your body more defined, the perkiness of your tits more delicious. Price feels his body relax at the site of you, his bright blue eyes turn into a shade of navy, making him appear more dominant and full of lust. Stripping his shirt off and disregarding it on the hardwood below him, you take in the sight of his hardened body, extra buff from the recent deployment, demanding strength for months on end. Stopping at the edge of the bed, above where you lay, you can make out the bulge in his jeans more clearly, your pussy throbbing with need as you realize just how long it's been since he's been inside of you.

"You're more gorgeous than the last time I saw you, you know that? You just keep getting prettier and prettier with time, darling." His voice laced with desire and need, thick like honey, his accent more prominent. You sit up, shifting your weight on your arm, as he leans down, meeting you in the middle to connect your lips together. The feeling of your tongues dancing together, the mixture of your saliva, his hand hard around your throat, it feels better than ever. Your sure your panties are soaked, you can feel your inner thighs get coated with your slick, your body preparing for him. Disconnecting your lips, you lean back down, mouthing his cock through his jeans, running your teeth across the outline. He groans, tangling his fingers through your hair with just enough pressure that you can feel it, but not enough to bring back any pain from earlier. After a long, hot make-out session, Price pulls away from you, a trail of saliva leaving the two of you connected.

Untangling his hand from your hair, he slowly repositions himself on top of you, kissing your neck, down your body until he reaches the elastic of your panties. He takes the band in his mouth, his teeth slowly taking them off of your body. You stare at him, your mouth agape in shock and need. After discarding your undergarments to somewhere on the floor, he spreads your legs, leaving a trail of kisses on your calf, up to your inner knee, when he reaches your inner thigh he becomes more rough, sucking and biting at the skin there, leaving purple bruises along your flesh. Keeping eye contact with you, he lays a light, feather-like kiss on your clit, making you gasp with pleasure, but not enough. Interlacing your fingers in his hair, you push his head down, an unspoken way of asking for more. "Greedy, are we love?" Price chuckles, now licking your clit. Rolling your eyes with a small giggle, "It's been 4 months, John, can you blame me?" Your voice is laced with desire and impatience as you speak. After what felt like an eternity of teasing, Price brings up two of his thick fingers, circling your entrance with them, his middle finger catching on your labia. Inserting them in, the stretch making you arch your back in pleasure and slight discomfort, "You're so tight baby, seems you haven't been takin' care of yourself down here." His fingers start moving in and out at a slightly faster pace, but not too much to make you fall apart already. He moves his mouth back to your clit, continuing his actions from earlier. With a loud moan and your back arching even more, you cover Price's fingers in your come, making him groan at the sight, his cock growing even harder.

Sitting up, the unbuckling of his jeans sparks a nervousness and excitement in your lower abdomen, a feeling you haven't felt in a long time. You stare as he unzips his jeans, taking them off along with his boxers. His thick cock bounces as it's freed from confinement, the heaviness of it making it droop down. You take it into your hand, slowly stroking him before taking it to your entrance. Price looks into your eyes as he slips it into your hole, making the both of you gasp at the intrusion. As he buries himself as deep as he can go, John waits for a moment to take in the feeling of you after such a long time, and to stop himself from coming too soon. The feeling of him stretching you open and the tip of his cock pressed against your cervix puts you in a state of nirvana. Circling your hips a little to create some sort of pleasure on your end, Price decides he won't make you wait any longer.

Slowly pulling his cock out until just the tip is inside, he smiles at you before slamming his length all the way back in. The feeling catching you off guard, you roll your eyes to the back of your head, letting out a loud moan "Oh my- fuckk." "You didn't think I was gonna be gentle did you?" Price lets out a low chuckle before repeating the same action. Lifting your legs up so your ankles are adjacent to his head, he goes faster, pounding into the back of your pussy like his life depends on it, hitting the same soft spot that you're convinced nobody else could reach. Reaching his hand down, John starts to rub your clit at the same pace as his hips, making you moan louder and louder. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, don't stop doing that" you whine out, making Price's lips curl up in a cheeky smile. "Yeah, you like that? Am I gonna make you come, baby?" He teases you, letting out a low groan. Nodding your head, Price feels your walls tighten around him, making his hips stutter and his moans slightly louder. "Oh shit baby, fuck you're so tight. You like coming 'round my cock, love?" You don't respond- you can't- not in the state you're in right now. You just hold eye contact with him while nodding your head.

Price's hips falter as you feel something warm inside of you all of a sudden. He stays there, his cock acting like a plug to keep his come pushed inside of you. Coming down towards you, Price leaves a kiss on your forehead before slowly pulling out, watching some of his come leak out of you. Looking up at your worn-out figure, he gets up to start a bath for you. Slowly unwrapping the bandage he skillfully placed on your ankle to prevent any unwanted movement, he places you in the warm body of water, making your eyes slowly close. The smell of lavender and vanilla fills your senses, the only light in the bathroom being from your favorite candle. Price cleans you up, making sure to be careful around your nose and your ankle, before picking you up gently to wrap your body in a towel.

He takes you back to the bed, which is now covered in a fresh pair of sheets, he lays you down gently before getting you dressed. Going to the bathroom to clean himself up, he decides now is a good time to tell you the news. Moments later he comes out, preparing himself for any reaction that may come out of you. Before he can speak, he hears your soft snores and sees your eyes glued shut, overtaken by a deep sleep. His lips form a soft smile, a feeling of warmth filling his body, feeling his heart skip a beat. He guesses he'll just have to tell you about his retirement in the morning.

[satureja13]

Ji Ho asked Jack to help him to get rid of that single bed Vlad was sleeping in - and Jack was all in. Anything that brought his best friend closer to Ji Ho was a good thing! But of course they didn't throw the bed in the trash compactor. It's not their ship - and destroying perfectly fine stuff is bad karma. Since they only use three of the four available quarters, they thought they'd just move the bed into the unoccupied one.

But this is the quarter of B.D's kids...

Ji Ho and Jack looked at each other. They are more determined than ever to bring him back to his family. This is so sad. (For me too. I haven't visited Great A'Tuin II since B.D got arrested. And seeing all the remnants of their happy times here is breaking my heart. One of his kids had even been born here on this ship...)

Jack and Jeb are busy checking - and if necessary, securing - the venitlation holes, so Jack had to get back to work. And since Ji Ho has no special task on this ship, he's the Ji Ho of all trades ^^' Today he's supposed to make an inventory of the smaller storage. To see for how long their Dilithium and supplies would last them. He was still so sad when he got there, and deep in thoughts. Ji Ho is the most sensible of them all, he can't just shake this off.

But then his attention was drawn to something... Oh no - someone (thing?) has stolen food from the containers! Metal containers at that! It seems Jack was right! There must be an alien creature on the ship! One that is able to crack (or bite ö.Ö') open sturdy metal containers!

None of the Little Ones is capable of doing this. Not even Evil Malfoy! Ji Ho was just about to flee from the scary storage, when he noticed the metal cages. Maybe the creature had escaped from them? o.o

Only one place he feels safe and secure came to his panicking mind, and that was Vlad. So he ran to their quarters. Then he heard a rustle from the ventilation shafts and he ran even faster! Oh gods!

Vlad sensed through the Bond that something was wrong with Ji Ho. He darted to the door to get to him, but Ji Ho was faster. Ji Ho was panting, his heart beating fast: "Thank the Gods, you're here." Then he told Vlad what happened.

Vlad pulled Ji Ho in his arms: "You're safe." Vlad would make sure to secure the ship together with Jeb and Jack. But later. First, he has to make sure that Ji Ho calms down. His fear and panic is shaking their Bond and Vlad can't think clear with Ji Ho being so frightened.

What Ji Ho also didn't notice in his shock state was, that Vlad moved their lily plant to their quarters.

TMI: The Lily represents beauty, purity, transformation, rebirth, and devotion.

Since awkwardness is still the main factor in their relationship, and Vlad has no idea how to calm Ji Ho (he knows very well that he makes Ji Ho only even more nervous), he went with Jack's tactic: distraction. Vlad: "I've noticed you removed my bed." Ok, that was working. Just in the wrong direction... Ji Ho's thoughts immediately went from 'omg the alien will kill and eat us all!' to 'omg Vlad will scold me because I removed his bed without his permission!'.

Vlad noticed Ji Ho's hands were still shaking and took them in his. Vlad: "Come." Ji Ho was utterly confused - is Vlad leading him away from the entrance and deeper into their quarters so the others won't hear when he yells at him? But he still followed him...

Ji Ho was so out of his head, he didn't even notice that Vlad had redecorated their quarters while he was away. He'd set up their hobby stuff - Ji Ho's music station and his easel. He'd even painted a cute mural on the wall for Ji Ho.

Vlad: "And? What do you think?" Only then Ji Ho took it all in: "Oh! That's wonderful!" Now Vlad's hands were shaking a bit, he's nervous: "So. Uhm ... we could spend time here together. If you like?" Ji Ho thought maybe Vlad didn't think it through. Vlad also has his computer here, to write on his stories: "Won't it disturb you when I do my music stuff next to you while you paint and write?" But Vlad did: "No. You use headphones, right? That's no problem." Vlad is too shy to tell Ji Ho that he is his greatest inspiration and muse.

And after the ventilation holes were secured, they spent their free time together. Without having to have awkward conversations and stupid misunderstandings. Boosting each other's creativity to new hights.

'We know how to fly Far away We’ll fly about the whole world We got used to the clouds Woo no Yeah Everywhere is already Our home'

My Zone - Block B A song from real Ji Ho's group :3

From the Beginning 🔱 Underwater Love 🔱 Latest

Current Chapter: starts ▶️ here Last Chapter: 'Here comes the Sun' from the beginning ▶️ here

📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 23-29

[sugawhaaa]

!!health update!!

Part.3💀

So I'll try to keep this short bc the last few were rlly long and this could be a very triggering topic for some ppl regarding mental health so if u are sensitive to anything revolving around suicide or self harm I suggest you keep scrolling

To put it simply I've really been trying to keep this page happy-go-lucky even during this current struggle but I think it shows even in my writing and posts that I am miserable right now. What started out as just physical pain has now turned mental and I'm struggling with something I thought I had already overcome and beaten. I am struggling with suicidal thoughts and depression regarding my chronic disease.

This mainly stems from the Healthcare system and I am not blaming all the staff in the world bc the system in Canada is fucked. But when I went to the hospital the care I received from nurses was thorough but doctors were careless and sent me home while I was still in pain without a diagnosis or giving me a referral to a specialist. Now I am waiting to hear from a gynecology clinic about an appointment for a first-level gynecologist, meaning all they will be able to do is say I may or may not need surgery. But this waiting has, omg made me go fucking insane.

I have waited a month and probably won't hear from them for another three months which is unacceptable. I am miserable every day and the only thing that has given me relief was that stupid IV I got at the hospital for less than an hour. I can't work, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't live my life rn and that is what has drawn me to this depression. I even hesitated giving my application to university bc this pain is debilitating I don't even think I can't achieve my dream career anymore and I don't think anyone will understand how heartbreaking this was to me.

I am going to seek help from a therapist soon but the wait time for that is up to a year so I don't know if I will even bother. In the meantime I hope you all understand that rn my life is uhhhh falling apart 😬👍 and all I need rn is just a little patience and understanding that I am not going to be myself for potentally a few months (I hope less than that) but I will still be posting my usual content.

I won't be posting or interacting as frequently, requests will take twice as long to complete probably 💀 and yeah. I thank all of you for your patience, understanding, and kind words you have been giving me in these updates 🙏 unfortunately idrk how to respond to these kinda of comments but I greatly appreciate them and think abt them day in and day out.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: Not Another Love Song by Julie Soto

4.5/5. Releases 7/17/2024.

Heat Index: 8/10

Vibes: rivals to lovers, celebrity classical musicians (?), "I wanna fuck you so bad it makes me look stupid"

Gwen Jackson is a naturally gifted violinist, having been taught by shop owner Mabel. Graduating from playing for tips on the subway to being offered first chair in the Manhattan Pops orchestra means fulfilling a dream. Not so happy about it is cello player and musical prodigy Xander Thorne--who happens to be a member of a band Gwen was (is) a fan of. But she's a fan no longer, sensing Xander's resentment... and something else. As the two are inevitably drawn to each other's talent--among other things--they have to figure out whether their blossoming relationship is more important than their long term goals.

OOOOH, this one hit. As someone who doesn't know much about classical music (honestly, a big question of mine was: is the fandom around famous classical musicians this intense? Like, I believe that it is, I've just never experienced it) I was sucked in by the passion in the story and the way Julie Soto seamlessly blended Gwen and Xander's obsession with music into their growing fixation on each other. There's a delicious tension in the first half of the book, flitting between anger and irritation and kinship and desire. And once it bubbles over... whew.

I really enjoyed Forget Me Not. Not Another Love Song has made me a fan. I'm ready for whatever Julie Soto writes next, because this is what I want from a contemporary romance: a sense of reality heightened by drama (and angst), high heat, and FURIOUS passion. This is a good time.

Quick Takes:

--Dude. I may not be very knowledgeable about classical music, but I do know that it should be properly utilized as a Sexy Device in romance novels. (And to be real? In fiction, as a general rule.) This book may utilize classical music in the sexiest way possible. Like, often when I read early reviews going "the X scene!!! omg omg!!" I kind of expect to be let down. Not because the scenes are bad, but because they're so hyped.

The cello scene? In this novel? Lives up to the hype. Like, more on that later, but... It's not just about the physical things that happened when Gwen and Xander play. It's also about their focus one each other when they're supposed to be playing, the way she in particular drives him to distraction. I will say--the rivalry stuff lasts longer than the true resentment. It becomes pretty clear, pretty quickly that Gwen doesn't really hate Xander. And that Xander wants to fuck Gwen's brains out.

But uh, I was not upset about that development. I feel like a lot of authors try to pull off "seething sexual tension" and fail. This was an absolute win. I know in my heart that if I saw these two playing in real life, she would be desperately trying to pretend she didn't notice him; and he would be playing his ass off while ROCK. HARD.

--All that aside, I also think that this actually feels like two people in their early to mid twenties falling in love? Like, the finances are probably off, but you kind of have to handwave some capitalist hellscape stuff to set a contemporary romance novel in a big city in this day and age... But the way they act, the mistakes they make, the exuberance they both have for falling in love, the DUMB HORNY moments... it all read right to me.

I also appreciate that Xander, for all that he is a hot and talented dude by whom Gwen is intimidated at first (until she isn't) and with whom she is infatuated, still strikes me as a dude. Like, he's gifted and he's deep and he has mommy issues like crazy and manipulative entities in his life. But a lot of how he reacts to things--it may not be rational, but it is human, especially for someone who's really still figuring his life out. He's a mess! And that's okay! Sometimes he and Gwen don't make the right decisions in their relationship, but that doesn't mean the relationship is broken beyond repair.

--There's some really juicy familial and professional drama beyond the romance, and one thing I loved is that there isn't a clear "good side" or "bad side". Some people have their shitty moments because to be human is to be intermittently shitty, but not inherently, wholly bad; some people just choose to be shitty all the time, and they aren't on designated sides. There isn't a single perfect option when the choices are presented to our leads.

There's a lot of gray, basically. And I like living in the gray of a book.

--Julie Soto is setting up her own universe, and I'm seeing the places these characters could go. It's not just about setting up future books, though; it's also about creating a community for her leads.

The Sex:

UGH. This book was hot. Like, it's honestly a relief when I read a contemporary romance novel that's this sexy. Yes, there is the cello scene, and much "then I will sit here, consumed with lust until for the rest of the evening". But there is a lot more. I feel like this is one of the hotter tradpub contemporaries I've read in a while. They're all over each other, they're vocal, there is a scene in which things are done while people are on the phone...

I'll definitely be rereading some of those scenes.

In conclusion, Not Another Love Song is fun, swoonworthy, and passionate. It's exactly what you want an author's second novel to be--topping the first, while maintaining all the things you loved about it. I'm so excited to see what Julie does next.

Thanks to Netgalley and Forever for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[ilions-end]

uh oh i've finished THE THEBAID! time to talk about it!

disclaimer: i'm not a roman empire girlie. like with the aeneid, i'm AWARE the author is using the medium of greek myths to say things about the state of the republic and roman culture, and i'm just kinda... not interested in that. i'm here for the plot and the characters. envision i'm a child watching saturday morning cartoons with my bowl of fruit loops going "yayy did you see the character do the thing?! that was so cool!!". basically i'm enjoying these stories on the "easily entertained dumbass" level

and i LOVED it. i got FUCKED UP by this epic in the best way. HOW TO DESCRIBE THE THEBAID?

it's so deliciously engaging and funny and dark. to me it feels more closely related to the iliad than either the odyssey or the aeneid, but it's in conversation with all of them and also so unique. there are bitter ironies everywhere, troubled people making worse choices. ALL the characters are flawed, but in extremely interesting and engaging (and even endearing) ways.

there's something about how it starts out as a GREAT EPIC telling the story of BRAVE HEROES except they can't retain their integrity as the story progresses, they can't fathom their own limitations or flaws. it's like the iliad if achilles HADN'T accepted priam's plea, it's the odyssey if odysseus hadn't retained enough of himself to string that bow or remember the bed. it's a story that tells you "they failed, none of this mattered, but also all of it mattered".

i love how statius as an author is SO present, leading you by the hand through the narrative, offering his views (he has so many opinions and snide asides! and sometimes he complains about how much WORK it is to tell you this story, omg why are you forcing him to do all this work!) and it all feels so -- aw that's my buddy statius!! my funny friend statius is telling me this story and it's great!

this might be the first epic i've read where we know the author wanted it to more or less BE like that, so there are some LONG LINES being drawn from the beginning of the story to the end

i'll be honest, i didn't know much about the theban cycle when i started reading. i knew about oedipus, and antigone, and that diomedes' dad was in it, and that everybody fails spectacularly at what they're trying to achieve. and turns out that was more than enough knowledge to hit the ground running, it's surprisingly straightforward

i'd assumed diomedes' dad was just "one of the seven leaders against thebes", but no he's a MAIN main guy! tydeus is so central, at one point he is ENTIRELY to blame for everything bad that happens later, and i fell in love with that awful little murderman

like the way tydeus introduces himself in the first chapter saying he's from "calydon, the breeding ground of monsters". and you're sitting there like HOHOHO i think we're gonna discover who's the latest monster to come out of calydon!

like the iliad, it shows both sides of the conflict, and arguably our main point of view guys are WAY MORE fucked up than they guys they're fighting. like i love polynices, he's sympathetic because he's been treated so unfairly but that doesn't mean he's not kinda fucked up; i love eteocles, who's a tyrant and cheated, but he's fun to watch and equally fucked up

the wonderful thing is that it doesn't matter who you cheer for, everyone's gonna lose :D

it has everything you want from an epic: gods taking sides, glorious aristeias, tragic battlefield deaths, a trip to the underworld, funeral games, evocative descriptions of weaponry and equipment (statius is SO to the point when it comes to ekphrasis, love him for that), a sexy night raid... the contexts for some of these might surprise you!

AND. AND. IT HAS WHAT THE ILIAD LACKS. that's right: DIONYSUS, baby!! he's here, he's involved, he's getting his hands dirty! also he gets to play a very thetis-like part at one point, which i think is sexy.

statius does amazing work making all these characters distinct. i never thought i'd get a detailed sense of all SEVEN against thebes (and other characters besides ofc) but each of them has their uniquely memorable moments and oddities and they're all so different from each other. it's about PERSONALITIES and it's about those personalities gradually being INFECTED by polynices' transgressive thebe-ness. and still i'm hugging them all to my chest. my little fucked up dudes

it's fascinating that the thebaid is ultimately a tragedy, but it's not like athenian tragedy -- this isn't about how there was no other way, or that everything's already locked down heading for catastrophe; it's the opposite! the heartbreak is in how we see that the conflict could have ended HERE, or HERE, or HERE, or HERE, but they're all so set on doing this they're willing to ignore EVERY bad omen, write off EVERY loss, and convince each other OF COURSE they're gonna win (which they won't!) because they're THE HEROES, DAMMIT. it's HUBRIS, THE EPIC

my favourite moment of "this could easily have ended here" is before the war, when polynices falls out of his chariot during the funeral games, and he's in the middle of the track when all the other racing teams come thundering towards him. statius STOPS TIME at that moment to tell us how close polynices is to dying, that ALL THE PAIN AND DEATH that is sure to come would have been avoided RIGHT HERE if only he'd been trampled and killed, and what a blessing that would have been. but the story has to continue, polynices escapes without a scratch and everything bad happens as it must. THE FLAVOUR of moments like that?? GAWD

so those are some general thoughts. specific moments under the cut because i can never stop talking once i get going

a main thing is how IMMENSELY DISGUSTED zeus is with oedipus, and it never stops being funny. because, like, 1) oedipus' incest kids are adults at this point, and you're still THIS worked up about it?? 2) zeus has got it all wrong, he's like "OMG EWWW can you believe he SOUGHT OUT his own mother to fuck her?? that this PERVERT wanted to fuck his own MOTHER all along?! DISGOSTANG!!" like mate that's REALLY NOT how that happened! and 3) zeus buddy, you're having a tantrum about the concept of incest to your sister-wife........

you know what never gets old? statius describing the activities of the furies' snake hair. the snakes get thirsty! they get sleepy! they get excited! amazing.

MAN how the beginning of book 2 drew me in. we're dropped straight into the action with hermes on an important mission heading out of the underworld, we have no idea what's going on but it's SO atmospheric, it's SO intriguing, and we have to follow his tracks to see where the narrative is going with it. THIS STORYTELLING FEELS SO MODERN

there's a CURSED NECKLACE that i really thought would play more into the plot. i mean it's there to emanate bad vibes, i guess, and indirectly influence things. i'm just not used to full-on CURSED ARTIFACTS in my epics

tydeus' stint as an emissary is hilarious, i'm still not over it. when he loses his cool and basically yells at eteocles "WELL YOU'RE THE SPAWN OF INCEST!!" when he's there ON BEHALF of the other spawn of incest......... tydeus you're SO bad at this

OOOOUGH TYDEUS FIGHTING BACK THE AMBUSH AT THE SPHINX' ROCK IS SO SEXY AND HORRIFYING OMGGG. hang on i gotta go reread that now...

...fucking hell, it's so good. IT'S SO GOOD!!!! it's my new favourite aristeia in any of these epics, from the first cheap shot that almost gets him in the jugular, to the clambering up the rock, and his shield BRISTLING with enemy spears which he pulls out and uses against them, and not to mention how it shows just how fucking EXHAUSTED he gets once the initial adrenaline rush is through

man, statius is so excellent at realistic physiology. like the detailed descriptions of how the runners at the funeral games warm up, how their muscles feel doing this or that... statius obviously knows so many things firsthand

also love how from there on out tydeus lies about the ambush. honey you killed forty-nine guys, not fifty, and you know it!! it's impressive enough, you don't need to round up

i wish athena would play a bigger part as she's taking tydeus as her champion and everything. she's probably the MOST unknowable of all the gods in the thebaid, she rarely speaks directly to anyone, and is kinda only present for her core scenes in the myth. tell me what you're thinking about babe...

we get way more of that "UH OH YOU'RE A GOD'S FAVOURITE, THIS ISN'T GONNA END WELL" with apollo's love for amphiaraus, though. i appreciate that

while we're on the gods, i'm also VERY weak for how openly ares simps for aphrodite. when she jumps in front of his horses to stop him and there's this lovely passage where he rushes from the chariot to take her in his arms and comfort her... awww. and then it's kinda wild when he's like "darling you're my only respite from war"... ares babe, you LOVE war!

there are several suicides in this story, and each one is surprisingly disturbing in its own way, but maeon though??? guy went out with IMMENSE STYLE and INTEGRITY. respect

statius is really good about chronology (since the theban war happens before the iliad-aeneid-odyssey) EXCEPT at one point someone throws a big rock (hippomedon maybe? i can't remember) like polyphemus threw boulders at odysseus and i'm like NO THAT HASN'T HAPPENED YET. ODYSSEUS IS A BOY IN ITHACA AT THIS POINT

i didn't expect to love parthenopaeus so much!! he's a BOY who's snuck off to war, he's glorious but he doesn't understand the consequences! that's a still-developing brain in there!!! when he's killed, EVEN THE ENEMIES GRIEVE FOR HIM, aaaaah! and statius keeps using him as a symbol of how meaningless the war is, and he's a proto-achilles (proto-neoptolemus?) in so many ways and it just KILLS ME

the whole nemea section is sooooo weird. and i GET that it's meant to be weird, that it's part of this whole campaign's WRONGNESS but it's... it's weird. like WHY does their entire army get involved in this place's family and history and politics? why do they get DELAYED FROM WAR eagerly listening to a nurse talking about the massacre of lemnos? why would she put the baby on the ground and leave it? what's UP with that snake? why do they have these MAJOR FUNERAL GAMES OF MILITARY PROWESS for a random dead royal infant? it's so weirddddd

the funeral games in themselves are great fun actually. and that only makes it worse because the next day the battles start and EVERYONE STARTS GETTING KILLED. the vibes turn on a DIME here

there are so many references to heracles that i can't appreciate because i'm clueless about heracles. i should fix that.

i cackled SO HARD at how statius reveals tydeus' cannibalism. that perspective change?? how athena is watching his comrades trying to WREST the decapitated head from him like he's a dog chewing on plastic? oh gosh it's amazing

AND i love how eteocles USES TYDEUS' CANNIBALISM AS A POINT OF PROPAGANDA. he's SO good at painting the entire enemy force as savages because would you believe even one of their fucking LEADERS chomped on theban brains!! THEY'RE HERE TO EAT US UNLESS WE FIGHT

also. also way later when we're told tydeus' wife's love for him is SO GREAT that she even managed to forgive him for that final taboo... do you know who else forgave him for that? INSTANTLY, without a moment's doubt? who was even impressed with him for it because he's fucked up like that? POLYNICES. his love for tydeus goes unremarked but statius sure implies...

i'm not deeply invested in gore but statius is VERY good at describing gore. he's definitely more... structured about battles than homer is though (two leaders dying per chapter, chosen for maximum contrast and effect, etc), to the point where towards the end of the fighting i was getting hungry for something else

the weirdest quirk of statius is how he will reuse names all the time? if there's a random argive background character you can almost bet that there's a random theban background character with that exact name -- i guess to make a point how similar they truly are -- but in a book that shit gets CONFUSING.

the night raid is clearly based on the iliad's night raid except everyone's more twisted and making worse choices, and i appreciate that. then while the heroes are doing awful dishonorable stuff, you get the lowly squires of tydeus and parthenopaeus sneaking off to steal their corpses back and being ACTUALLY HEROIC! oh the contrast is delicious

when statius interrupts his own storytelling to beg the muses to MAKE HIM MORE MENTALLY UNHINGED for the next part he's going to tell?? this man is GIVING IT ALL to tell you this story properly. i love you statius

polynices and eteocles' final duel is the CLIMAX we've been waiting for the entire epic and it's perfect. oh they're equally horrible and they're equally interesting and ohh yummy yummy this storytelling

i would have been fine if the story ended on the battlefield. i understand the "mini epic" in the final chapter as a way to contrast the whole thing ("look at theseus being an ACTUAL epic hero!") but it is a bit of a major vibe shift in the final round

and then it ends with statius pondering if people will enjoy this story after he's dead? :'-) i'm heeeere i'm reading it love it! it's still so great don't worry!!

[niziye]

Omg

I read your thing abt Kai’s changing eye colour being due to abbey experiments and can I just say I am on the same frikin wavelength 😭😭😭😭 heck I even believe that the front grayish part of his hair was also due to the weird experiments

Forgive my rambling but oh my god it’s an HC very dear to me that Kai’s eyes turned crimson when black drawn we was split from dranzer during abbey experimentation, so his eyes are pure red to show that the “darkness” of his bit beast no longer exists.

I wanted to ask about your HC’s on the matter, I’m sure it’s interesting!

Love your art a lot btw keep slaying!

Wah, thanks for sending an ask ✨✨

Firstly, english is not my first language, so I'm using the good old translator and reviewing the things I know.

I love HC about the duality of Dranzer and Black Dranzer, so your HC about color reflecting the lack of counterpart is sublime. I loved this 🌟

To be very hosnestly about this HC (abt Kai's eye color change), I think it's incredibly common, but at the same time I don't see much about it out there. I wonder if it's because it's something very implicit in the fandom or it's just in my head lol

I've had that for a while actually, and several other things. I liked to use some of them when I was writing fanfics many years ago, nowadays they just gather dust in my notes 🍃

The fact that Kai's eyes change color I attribute to two things: 1) her state in relation to the control of Dranzer or Black Dranzer - and any versions of her - that are from another HC, and 2) the experiments at the Abbey. So I'm focusing on that second one.

Lesgo

✦ Kai began receiving medical treatment after the events of the first season in the Russian championship.

✦ He developed some late symptoms due to the lack of certain substances and one of the side effects was the change in the color of his eyes and the tone of his hair.

✦ This also happened to Tala and Bryan, it depends on the type of substance used and how long they were exposed.

✦ To alleviate symptoms, both physical and mental, a medical treatment provided by BBA in association with Miss Judy was developed.

✦ This treatment was difficult to achieve for the simple fact that the substances used were known only to Balkov scientists. At the time the majority were in prison, so Mr D had to give in to certain "methods" which included special treatment and reduced sentences.

✦ Ironically, Kai was a guinea pig even with the fall of Voltaire and Balkov, because even the emergency treatment was experimental.

✦ At first he took a lot of medicine, vials, packs and even injections. He was troublesome at first, but about two years in he managed to stabilize. Medications have also been used to try to improve the symptoms of amnesia.

✦ He still carries bottles with him, but only those for daily consumption.

✦ From time to time he finds flaws in his hair, sometimes strands appear in different tones or are "switched". He knows when he is close to undergoing another change by observing the roots of his hair and around the pupils of his eyes. (I find the idea that he actually "checks" very funny xD).

✦ Since he wears reading glasses, the contact lenses excuse is quite convenient.

✦ Sometimes the medicines are not enough to control some symptoms such as dizziness and tremors and he needs a few days off. Some medicines are really potent and he is often warned by his doctor not to exceed his limits, not when it comes to his medications and rest.

✦ At some point he was asked why he took medicine, to which he replied that they were, in fact, vitamins for your training, until one time Max secretly took a pill - they were for insomnia - and slept for a whole day. This caused quite a bit of confusion and so sermons and admissions were made.

- note: of course I'm going to use Kai's appearance in V-force to promote HC, it's convenient that this part of the story also works as a transition.

Sooooo

I consider this summary to be quite superficial, If I count all the side effects, we will have enough drama for the rest of the year (and I'm not even counting the Borg boys) bwahaha

Please forgive me for any translation errors 🙇🙇

[cafecliche]

fic writer meme!

[RISES FROM THE DEPTHS] I'm here!! Thank you so much @uhuraisgay and @englishsub for the tags, and also for reminding me that I've missed Tumblr

1. how many works do you have on ao3? 50 even - which was more than I thought!

2. what's your total ao3 wordcount? 187,448

3. what fandoms do you write for?

My fic-writing impulses come along like cicada seasons, except without any regularity whatsoever: I do a lot of dabbling in a lot of fandoms, I can never really tell if something's going to light my brain on fire. Most of my fic output came from Yuletide for a long while (I loved the grab bag aspect and writing little treats for small fandoms, but then my holidays got busier), and then Yuri on Ice and MDZS were my biggest fandoms by far, especially MDZS. I've written Yuwu recently, and I'd love to write some Trigun, LoZ, or Mysterious Lotus Casebook one of these days.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

grow

the only way out

The Guests of Cloud Recesses

detente

bespoke

And the soft animal is our runner-up at #6!

5. do you respond to comments?

I usually don't unless it's a request or a question, but I read and treasure every one.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I am too tender for Bad Endings for the most part, but my canon-verse Nie Huaisang fic after me comes the flood does not end in a particularly good place for anyone involved. (But even then, we know it gets better for him eventually... albeit at the expense of several bystanders)

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I tend to write pretty gentle, occasionally LIGHTLY bittersweet happy endings (that's the cafecliche guarantee baby) but part of me wants to say 'the only way out' (and probably 'the yunmeng accords' series in general) here. I tend to write fic when I want to play around with the emotions or relationship dynamics that can already be found in canon, so 'the yunmeng accords' is probably as close to a fix-it as I'm going to get.

8. do you get hate on fics?

Not usually! I was part of the Great MDZS Anon Hate Train of 2021, but that was the worst I've ever gotten by several magnitudes - the vast majority of commenters are fabulous.

9. do you write smut?

Not yet! It's not off the table, though.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you have written?

I actually don't think I've ever written a crossover! The closest I've ever gotten was when I look over my shoulder, but even that's 'Wangxian in a Conjuring-esque ghosthunters in love situation' and not really a formal Conjuring AU.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've had plagiarism brought to my attention a couple times, but truly just a handful. I still remember getting a message on FF.net that someone had ripped off a line from my Black Lagoon fic. The SCANDAL of it all.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

MDZS is the first fandom where I've gotten translation requests, which is always so cool! To my knowledge, I've had fics translated into Russian, Spanish, and Ukranian.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but brainstorming fic concepts with my brilliant friends is one of my favorite thing in the world.

14. what's your all time favorite ship?

omg ever? Well Victuuri and Wangxian have been the ones that really lit my brain on fire (if I own the Nendos, it's serious) but let me also throw it back to Fakir and Ahiru in Princess Tutu. That is ROMANCE.

15. what is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I would have really liked to have one more entry to 'the yunmeng accords!' I had a couple of ideas that I really liked, but nothing that caught fire quite enough to dive into it. That said, I am currently working on something short and Yunmeng Shuangjie-related, at the very least...

16. what are your writing strengths?

Emotional through-lines, pacing, and that sweet, sweet catharsis. I'm drawn to particular fandoms when they leave me with an emotion that I need to break down over the course of several thousand words, and I know that shows through in my writing.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Choreography! I'm not a very visual thinker, so sometimes it takes me a while just to figure out how to block the characters in a given scene. I also have a lot of trouble getting into a draft until I figure out the voice, which, when it comes to fanfic, will either come to me extremely easily or not at all.

18. thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics?

Yeah, absolutely! (But if you don't speak the language, do your research!)

19. first fandom you wrote for?

[rubs my temples] an X-Men crackfic.

20. favorite fic you have written?

Oh my god. WELL. 'grow' and 'the only way out' I think are the best fics I've written, and 'when I look over my shoulder' and 'the soft animal' are also extremely close to my heart. But 'detente' might be the favorite child. It just gushed out of me.

I think a great many of you have been tagged at this point, so sorry for any double-tags, but: @bluecrystalrainingdaggers @tigerjpg @floofyfluff @vinelark and anyone else who'd like to go for it!

[cutesharkstudios]

Owl House Group Chat 2

(Hexsquad) 11:07 Willow has entered

Willow: I AM SO SORRY I'M LATE! THAT TOOK WAY LONGER THAN I THOUGHT!

Willow: Hello?

Amity has entered

Amity: Hey Willow. No worries

Willow: Yes worries! I promised I would be off at 10 and lost track of time

Amity: It's cool, this is suppossed to be a casual thing.

Willow: Ok. Side note, what did y'all do when I was gone?

Amity: Scroll up.

Willow: Oh my

Amity: I AM GETTING HER OTTER PLUSHIES YOU SICK MINDED INDIVIDUAL!!!!!!

Willow: Ok, ok

Hunter has entered

Hunter: Hi Willow

Willow: Hi Honey

Hunter: 0//0

Amity: Cute

Willow: HUNTER I MEAN! SPELLCHECK! SORRY!

Hunter: I like that name.

Willow: Really?

Hunter: I think it's cute, like you

Willow: 0//0

Amity: oh my

Willow: Yeah I deserve that

Darius has entered

Darius: My Hunter senses were tingling

Amity: Uncle Darius?!?!

Willow: Uncle?

Amity: He babysat me a ton as a kid. He and dad claimed they hated each other, but they didn't, and he helped dad take care of me.

Darius: Speaking of him, I need some advice.

Amity: Sure

Darius: Could we do this in a seperate chat with you, me, and the twins? I'll hext you the link

Amity: sure, see ya guys

Hunter: have fun

Willow: bye

(DariusAndBlightKids)

Darius: Amity will check in soon

Amity: Hey

Ed: Hi Amity

Em: Hey Ams

Amity: So what's going on?

Ed: Darius needs our help with something wonder what

Darius: And this doesn't leave this chat, ok?

Amity: 100%

Ed: got it

Darius: Em?

Em: Sorry, had to turn off the oven for dinner. Your secret is our secret

Amity: What ya making?

Em: Centaur roast and carrots

Amity: Thanks

Darius: Okay here it goes

Darius: I want to propose to Alador

Amity: WHAT

Ed: Really?

Em: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Darius: I've drawn up the plan and will send them soon.

Amity: OMG, Darius, this is awesome.

Darius: Thanks Amity, I hope it goes well. We've really grown over the 4 years of dating, and I hope I can be a good parental figure to you and the twins

Em: You really mean it?

Darius: Yeah, I've always wanted to be a dad, and now I have the opportunity. I hope I do well.

Amity: Well you can't do any worse than you-know-who

Darius: Thanks for the support, though she didn't set a high bar

Em: She set the bar at all?

Darius: Touche

Ed: And hopefully we will be good kids. I know we're adults, so it's probably not what you imagined being a dad would be like, but we promise to be good.

Em: And we'll continue to be good siblings as well. Side note, Amity?

Amity: Yes?

Em: Now that we are at a slower time in our lives, I want to ask, are we good?

Amity: Yes, why do ask?

Ed: Well, we teased you a lot in our youth. We never meant any harm, but we realise we may have been, as much as I hate to admit it, mean to you.

Em: That was never our intention, and we're sorry if we crossed any lines

Amity: Well, the only real line crossed was with the diary and Luz. But given how much of a jerk I was back then, I kind of had it coming.

Darius: I'm just as guilty. I crossed my share of lines in my past that Alador only told me about AFTER we started dating. Oof, not my finest moments

Em: Well what happened happened. We can't change the past, but we can make a better future.

Darius: Anyways, here's the plan…….

(MEANWHILE)

Room Created: OldWitches

11:13

Raine has entered Eda has entered Lilith has entered

Eda: Today's the day! Today's the day! Today's the day! Today's the day! Today's the day! Today's the day!

Lilith: Whoa, sister, calm down, what's the occasion?

Eda: After so long of trying to get an appointment, Raine's getting their sigil removing treatment!

Lilith: Awesome. I had mine yesterday, and I gave my sigil a certain gesture before it went away.

Eda: That's my sister. So, Rainestorm, what new magic do you want to try first?

Raine: You're not going to belive this but, of all types, illusions

Eda: I take it you saw that article I sent of Goops moping the floor with Adrian?

Raine: Yep, I had no idea you could tell when someone was hiding behind and illusion. We laughed at Adrian all dang afternoon post incedent.

Lilith: I would have paid SO many snails to see that

Raine: I got the whole thing on my scroll. And backed it up on three of my personal devices.

Eda: Whatever happened to him and the other defect coven leaders?

Lilith: Trying to find them, but so far no activity.

Raine: They should be dormant for now, but the hunt is still on.

Eda: Check out this news article I found. [link]

Raine: What is it?

Lilith: It better not be one of THOSE websites again.

Eda: You'll see

4:20

Raine: EDA!

Eda: Yes?

Raine: Why did you not tell me about this wonderful thing called fanfiction? I don't even know who wrote this but, God, they have excellent potential.

Lilith: I think I know who wrote it

Raine: Who is the author?

Lilith: If you scroll all the way up, you'll see the author is AzuraFanOtter, take a wild witch guess who that is

Raine: Well no wonder Luz is getting A's in her writing classes, this is wonderful

Eda: And fitting 20 characters in one scene while giving them all ample screen time is tricky, but she made it work.

Lilith: Maybe she should write her own book. The money made from that could benefit her greatly in the future.

Eda: Indeed, though she'll probably be fine when she marries Boots, cause all the Blights are LOADED.

Lilith: Now now, keep in mind, there is a change things don't work out for them. It's not like they were made with the other in mind.

Eda: …

Raine: …

Eda: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Raine: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lilith: What? I'm serious.

Raine: We know, but I'll eat griffon feathers if they don't work out.

Eda: OH SHOOT! RAINE! THE TIME!

RAINE: GAH! MY TREATMENT'S IN 10! THE NEXT TIME SLOT IS A WEEK FROM NOW SO I GOTTA GO!

Raine has left

Lilith: Well, I promised Darius I'd help with a "surprise" for Alador.

Eda: Cool, have fun.

Lilith: Thank you for not making an innappropriate joke for that.

Eda: Yeah, sorry about last week's prank, didn't think it go over as bad as it did.

Lilith: No no, I should have just taken the joke.

Eda has left

Lilith has left

[canisonicscrewyou]

Hi! I tumbled onto your post about Rory!Master and I maaay have a question or two. But first, I want to take a bit to appreciate that you included River in it because lately the stuff I've seen about the Ponds sort of erases River and I'm 🥲 because naur River's very much a part of their life and they'd spend Christmases and stuff with her. Okay I'm veering out of topic but I'm curious how Idris (the Doctor's TARDIS) having a thing for Rory fits into Rory!Master? Also, does this mean River and the Master share a teeny bit of DNA of sorts? Or not? Thank you!

hiiiii I’m an absolute champ at letting asks go unanswered for ages hiiiii

ANYWAYS Glad I can do my part because it’s a missed opportunity to do stuff with the Ponds and not include River at least a little bit. she’s everything. Even if it doesn’t quite make sense I do not care They Are A Family. The vibes.

First of all it’s been SO long since I’ve seen The Doctor’s Wife omg,,, My immediate response and feelings about Idris’s attitude towards Rory honestly falls very firmly into “The Universe just really likes Rory Williams”. He is one of the Universe’s Special Favorites. Look at him. It cannot be helped.

Beyond that I also imagine Idris didn’t see the Master past any perception filters, especially if Rory didn’t have the watch(and at that point he definitely didn’t).

If anything there was more of a draw to Rory that she couldn’t place, had no way of placing that’s just been there since the first time he stumbled inside the TARDIS and knew how she worked because of ‘reading’. Just the feeling you get when you’re inexplicably drawn to and fond of a person because of a shared background you had no way of knowing about before one of you brought it up. Or maybe it is just because he’s so pretty.

And ! I ! Have ! Never ! Decided ! That !

I do think he’d avoid The River Subject for as long as possible once the watch is open and he’s still in that face. I think that between all of the factors of River’s conception there’s like a nonzero chance her and the Master share DNA even if Rory was 100% human at the time. I’m sure it would be confusing as fuck, and I’m sure that in The Everything Else fucking Time Lord DNA wouldn’t be traced back to Rory of all people in anyone’s mind.

When it comes to what the Master says, though. That all boils down to whatever is most convenient and works the most in a given situation. The Master would probably never claim River as like, a daughter unless it somehow held the most weight in a social situation by calling himself dad just to make it sting or something.

Oh, man, though, it doesn’t really work out with the convoluted time line I’ve dropped Rory!Master into, but now my mind is starting to wander into the idea of Missy picking up Melody from Kovarian and that is… An entirely different can of worms that I don’t think I can start to get entirely into right now… Much to think about…

[toxooz]

omg i literally love wheelbitten as a comic and ur art is amazing

random question but how long have u been drawing as an artist and do u have advice.............

thank uuuu and I've been drawin my ass off since I could hold a pencil and I'm 24 (25 next month) now so this shit wasn't overnight by any means lmfao idk the way i did it was have A Thing that you like drawing and just draw the fuck outa it and eventually you'll get better for sure whether it be the desire to get better at drawing said thing makes you do research and study something to become better at it or just literal muscle memory from drawing said thing so much. I had lil spouts of taking time to get better at specific things like anatomy, shading, ect. by studying it but overall i just subconsciously got better by mentally picking up new things everytime i draw and analyzing the world around me. Even recently i got to see that with drawing tactical gear (that ive never really drawn before and never wanted to draw in my life) soley bc i just REALLY fukkin love Ghost and Konig

i went from being terrified and intimidated of drawing tactical gear (even trying to put a gun in front of it as if that was any better lmfao) it used to be vague as hell and my brain would shut down just trying to look at the references(i remember having a ''shit man am i even gunna be able to draw these characters???'' moment of dread the first time i was drawing Konig pffft) to absolutely loving drawing tactical gear and seeing how much more detailed i can make it with every new drawing, so a complete 180 but that's bc im just totally obsessed with the characters and drawing is how i express that sO thats mainly what i mean by just have a thing that you love and want to draw and the rest should follow with time, patience, and practice. I think it's about training your brain and motivation to pick up on details or a certain way something looks in lighting (or lack thereof) bc my brain is probably wired a certain way after art being like a centerpiece of my development to the point to where drawing is just What I Do and at this point if i dont draw for even a few days i start getting vaguely antsy and fidgety it's crazy lmfao SO idk if this is worded like i need it to but yeah art and the act of drawing can be frustrating as hell but it should be enjoyable and rewarding above all else at the end of the day!