#first of all is the imminent need to be loved consistently the issue in the atz timeline ? ……………..to a lesser degree i think
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started thinking about how cléo dealt with her giant scandal really depended on the environment she was in again ,, really do think it doesn’t get as bad in the atz timeline bc the older figure she gets attached to isn’t the leader ? bc with chan it’s like. well of course he would have to shoulder that kind of responsibility he has to. and it would kind of ruin their relationship because despite wanting to confide in him she knows he has to think about the group image and a billion other factors to keep her and the group afloat and it would make her feel terrible for burdening him. whereas with hwa, despite being the oldest he doesn’t really shoulder that kind of responsibility ? like yeah they joke around and call him mom and all that but it doesn’t feel like she’s putting everything on the line. plus the fact that she doesn’t go through trainee trauma with any of ateez and they didn’t see first hand how much the negativity from the survival show got to her lmao…. so i think she would be more comfortable confiding in hwa than with chan. mm mm mm.
#wait this made me realize i didn’t think about how dw gets to her in the atz timeline ……#ngl i don’t think they would have even go as far as a few dates like#first of all is the imminent need to be loved consistently the issue in the atz timeline ? ……………..to a lesser degree i think#not as all consuming bodily and spiritually like in the skz timeline#*soulfully ?#idt anything too bad (that i’ve planned……) happens to her atz léo until kingdom#that’s its own can of mutated worms lmfao……
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Janet who has been brought back from the dead by Talia and is now a researcher and Talia's lover, when Talia isn't trying to get her Beloved, isn't actually all that happy with her position or relationship. She's not happy with having her movements and research monitored and even hampered by the very clear skewing of data. She's an academic, she absolutely considers the biases and prejudices of her sources, except when it comes to information from the people she cares for. And she does care for Talia a great deal but Talia was never going to be Janet's forever person just like Janet knows that Talia doesn't consider Janet her forever person, her Beloved. She feels guilty though, like she owes Talia for bringing her back from the dead, owes Talia for keeping an eye on Drake Industries. She feels that she can't go back to Jack and Tim because Jack has moved on and, supposedly, Dana makes both of her boys happy. She misses her son desperately but she knows he's nearly all grown up and believes, thanks to incorrect information, that he has a new mother figure he's accepted in his life and she doesn't want to mess that up for him.
Then a wall blows up and there's her baby looking far too thin and on the edge of a breakdown and Janet now has access to ALL the information, including every little thing that Talia has been hiding.
Janet was not at all happy. Janet decided that she was going to be happy. And the first step in that happiness was going to be a very clear and permanent break up with Talia that consisted of a lot of explosions. Bonus that the breakup would inconvenience Ra's who had always been a bit of a dick and never listened to any of her reports unless she'd had a male underling present the information. Then some long overdue bonding with her son and discovering just what has been going on with his life. Followed by asking that one assassin trainer that had given her a few tips, Sandra Wun San, out for coffee.
[I fucking love you so much. Previous Janet/Talia into Sandra/Janet? Gods you're amazing]
Janet wants what's best for her kid so she, stupidly, stays away from him. She doesn't want to dredge up the pain of her death by reappearing before him. He has a decent mother now who is actually around for him.
Jack seems happy and is making more efforts for Tim. It's all Janet could want for them. She may no longer feel romantic love for Jack, but she still cares about him. She's glad he and their son are doing well.
Then Tim waltzes into Janet's room, is understandably shocked by her presence (particularly because her status as alive was never utilized against Tim by Ra's), and is dressed in some gods awful leather cowl. He's pale, severely underfed, and has eyes emptier than a water basin in the Sahara desert.
Talia lied to Janet.
Janet knew that she was being manipulated and that the information wasn't entirely accurate, but this is a level she did not perceive. Her girlfriend ex-girlfriend is going to pay for hiding Tim's condition.
Janet makes her escape with Tim and hears Ra's threatening him. It's another tally the mother adds against the man.
Tim is reluctant to do what he needs to do (and when the fuck did he become a vigilante?), but Janet promises to meet up with him after he solves the imminent issues/destruction.
In the meantime, she researches the hell out of everything she missed.
Jack is dead. Jack, someone she was so happy to see thriving, was murdered. Robin, Janet's boy, found his father's body.
Janet is going to fucking murder Talia.
The mother doesn't blame Dana for not being able to take care of Tim, but gods does it burn that Tim lost another set of parents at once (Tim temporarily lost Jack when Janet died and he now has lost Dana when Jack died).
To add on, Bruce, Tim's adoptive father, is also declared dead.
Her poor son. He deserves so much better than that. She should've double checked the information. She shouldn't have trusted her lover at her word. She should've gone to Tim sooner.
Janet can't live in regrets. For now, she needs to prepare to be there for Tim. She can't control him, put limits on him, or tell him what to do. She hasn't been an active parent in his life in a long while. Furthermore, he's almost an adult. He would not appreciate his independency being restricted.
Instead, Janet scours the news for all Robin related informational. It's not the most trustworthy or accurate of source, but she doesn't have any others. What she does find (her child has been doing this since he was thirteen?!?!?) leaves her with more questions.
There is one interesting French news article Janet stumbles upon (what was a thirteen year old doing in a foreign country alone???? She's going to be having words with Batman).
Janet's old trainer, Sandra Wu-San, apparently assisted Robin in taking down King Snake.
When Janet had met the woman, she was enamored by her strength, resilience, and power. If the archeologist hadn't been with Talia, she would have entertained the way Sandra's hands lingered when correcting Janet's form and the weight of her stare as the trainee practiced.
Janet isn't ready to jump into another relationship, especially with another assassin, but surely a coffee couldn't hurt
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First Take: Paddington in Peru - the trilogy doesn't quite stick the landing
SYNOPSIS: Paddington returns to Peru to visit his beloved Aunt Lucy, who now resides at the Home for Retired Bears. With the Brown family in tow, a thrilling adventure ensues when a mystery plunges them into an unexpected journey.
It’s a trilogy of films that have become very well regarded in the family film market, and one which StudioCanal are arguably building their UK brand around (quite rightly) - we all know how beloved Paddington 2 was when it released in 2017, you just have to ask Nicolas Cage and he’ll tell you the answer. But with their trusted bear handler Paul King now in the big leagues making films like Wonka, and long-time producer David Heyman going with him, the big question with Paddington in Peru was whether a new director could keep that style and reputation of the series in tact.
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Enter Dougal Smith. A music video director by trade, with no experience in anything beyond 3 and a half minutes, this is the man trusted to helm this 1 hour 43 minute film and he does a relatively good job keeping to the style we’ve got so used to under Paul King - but boy does the film miss his midas touch across the board, even if the trademark slapstick and wit that’s defined the earlier entries remains present and correct. However, the script has issues, while the work of Mark Burton, Jon Foster and James Lamont (taking a story devised by 1 & 2 veterans King and Simon Farnaby) does what it needs to do, the big sticking point is the involvement of Sony when it comes to global distribution rights- there are elements which pander to the American market, and where it struggles is when you take a stereotypically London-based film out of London. Erik Wilson yet again nails it on the cinematography having now worked on all three films, and Dario Marianelli turns in a pretty decent score (which doesn’t feature the calypso band that popped up in 1 and 2) to keep things consistent even with the change in direction.
On to the cast, and in time honoured tradition, we’ve got a few Hollywood legends not taking themselves seriously for the purpose of comedic effect. In 1 it was Nicole Kidman, in 2 it was that legendary Hugh Grant role, and in 3, Antonio Banderas and Olivia Colman join the party with funny, if a little predictable characters - and in Colman’s case it is great to see her doing a family film and using years of work in TV comedy to her advantage. The new additions also include Carla Tous and a little cameo from Hayley Atwell- but importantly a lot of the OGs return too, with Hugh Bonneville, Samuel Joslin, Madeleine Harris and Julie Walters all coming back as expected within the live action realm, with Imelda Staunton coming in to voice Aunt Lucy- but the major change to the lead characters is the recasting of Sally Hawkins’ role to Emily Mortimer, and ultimately the whole thing struggled as a result. Whoever made that call is getting a hard stare. Importantly, the glue which just about holds it together is Ben Whishaw, who once again keeps the film on track as the voice of that marmalade-loving bear as only he knows how.
THE VERDICT
It’s not reaching the same heights as the first two (especially with Wicked and Gladiator II taking most cinema screens imminently), but as far as the first Paddington film under new creative stewardship goes, it’s about as smooth of a transition as it could’ve been - whether StudioCanal pursue the wider franchise that they have planned, without King’s involvement, could be the call which makes or breaks the series moving forward.
RATING: 3.5/5
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Makoto Naegi (DR) - Yandere Profile
Me? Producing non-genshin profiles? Releasing two profiles in one day? It’s more likely than you think!
I’ll probably do my boi Hajime eventually too. I got several dangan requests so I’m gonna start with this one and do those gradually too.
Makoto is the perfect classic, traditional yandere. He fits every trope and aspect of the archetype so well, so I just had to make him a delusional, split persona type. It's a bit ooc of course but I just see him being that type to really snap and have a whole new persona underneath. Bless him. I love soft sweet boys and turning them into nasty lil obsessive gremlins. Also I couldn't decide on a setting/version of him, so I talk mostly about a normal Makoto in normal school life, but also what he'd be like during the killing game as well as a side of Mastermind Makoto bc I'm a sucker for mastermind AUs. Note, he's 18 or older in all of these, of course.
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Tws: stalking, obsessive behaviors, manipulation, nsfw mentions, mentions of permanent mutilation, voyeurism Tws: (below cut) - voyeurism mention, noncon, Makoto being awful Additional warnings: very minor spoilers for Danganronpa 1
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What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?
Bounces between lucidity and delusion. DR1 Makoto is probably largely influenced by the stress of, you know, threat of imminent death, but even outside of such a situation, he'd be a very well hidden yandere. He's just so sweet! So gentle! You can't really seem him as threatening at all, so a lot of subtle things might go unnoticed, like how touchy he can be, how his stares linger, how people seem to avoid you when he's around. However, while the yandere side isn't obvious, the crush certainly is. He's a blushing boy, will get flustered the moment you speak to him, is constantly stumbling over his words, nervously scratching the back of his head, looking all over everywhere except at you, eyes darting away.
Obsessive. It defines his yandere side. Everything is about the obsession, the worship, it's overwhelming. The desire to kidnap you is partially protective, sure, but really? He also just wants you close, he wants you all to himself, he could just be happy looking at you forever. Stalker for sure. He's a classic style stalker, one to take lots and lots of pictures. His phone is handy for the ones that need more of a... secretive approach, but for the ones that he can take safely, from a distance, or the ones of you sleeping, they look best in polaroids.
He would definitely be one to steal things, particularly clothes. Wait until you go to do your laundry, and when you're there he'll do something like pull the fire alarm, cause something to fall over, and wait for everyone else to leave or investigate before slipping in - surely you won't notice just a few pieces of clothes missing, right? Just some gym clothes you worked out in, they smell so much like you, and some underwear you won't miss. They're just cute is all. Not for any perverted purposes, nope. He'd have a shrine, too. He'd steal creepy shit like soda cans you threw away, pens you held. He'd use his phone or one of those cameras from the mono machine to get as many photos as possible, running over them late at night, going through each one and rubbing one out to every photo he can get of your soft, innocent expression.
Deceptively intelligent. It's his number one trick. He comes off as a very... average person in pretty much every way, it's literally his character trope at first, but as we know, he's actually particularly intelligent and perceptive. Most people don't realize this, though, and it gives him an advantage. He is aware that he's perceived as a bit of an innocent, naive airhead, and will utilize that perception, which allows him to get away with quite a bit by feigning ignorance or innocence.
A split personality bouncer. Classic yandere style. Sweet, innocent, happy, but if you just keep fucking pushing the limits he'll - no, forget that, it's ok, he understands :) ....THAT kind of yandere. He spends the majority of the time on the sweet side, but, especially as time goes on, can easily snap to a much meaner, darker persona, but it's not how he is the majority of the time. It's only brought out by excess stress from all of the... complication of things involving you.
Speaking of how he has all the makings of a classic yandere, delusional regarding love as well. Highly convinced that you'll love him eventually, convinced that everyone is out to take you away from him, and convinced that he knows what's best for you. Perhaps a bit surprisingly, he falls into this delusion pretty easily and quickly. He's likely got a bit of an inferiority complex given, you know, being the "normal" person among some of the best people in their fields. He likes the idea of anything that can give him a sense of importance, of value, of being needed, and he chooses to project that into your protection.
How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?
Normal schoolboy Makoto, well, he'd have to find a way. He wants to, really, the moment he meets you, but how can he do that? He lives in a dorm. If you went missing, surely they'd investigate the dorms right? He'd ultimately probably end up running away with you, finding some way to get by while he keeps you safely locked up in some tiny apartment somewhere.
As for the how, he would take a very traditional method. Ask you to meet him at a certain place and time behind the school, and you'll never see it coming, be it chloroform or a blunt object or whatever he chooses. You wouldn't suspect someone as sweet as him to ever be planning anything of the sort. He feels bad for hurting you, but it's for a greater purpose. Within minutes he'll have you stuffed in a sports bag or instrument case or something of the like, carrying you off, and no one will no where you could have gone.
Will definitely be that one that gets interviewed by the news on TV, the best friend of the poor girl that went missing, and he's all sniffly and teary while talking about how much he misses you, how he's so worried about you. He's actually a very good actor when he really, really needs to be. It's also his way of atonement, in a sense. If he can show how much he cares about you, even if it's in a situation where he's lying, it makes him feel better.
DR1 Makoto, well, he'll be virtually immediate. Don't you understand the gravity of the situation? You could DIE! He can't let that happen. You may be insistent that it's ok, that you want to all try and work together, but in his mind, you just don't understand how serious this all is. You're just too naive. The only solution is immediate action. He'll be gentle about it, probably lacing your tea or coffee with something he found laying around in the nurse's office to make you just a little bit sleepy, so dazed you won't even realize he's guiding you back to a room that isn't yours, won't even hear yourself being tied up.
If the others ask what happened to you, well, he'll say he has no idea. They'll likely assume you're simply dead. After all, if a body isn't discovered, how would there be a trial? They search and search but no one ever finds a body. How strange.
He might simply tell them you're paranoid and holed up in your room. It's ok, though, you trust him to bring you food, so they don't need to worry about you. As for the trials, well, you can't participate in those if you're unconscious, now can you?
As for MM! Makoto, well... Who's to say this isn't his way of kidnapping you? You're separated from that awful awful outside world. That's The whole point of it all, all of this was for you. To isolate you, and the game is simply to strike some fear in you, make you understand how evil and traitorous humans are. You'll never want to leave. And of course, he intends to play until there are two students left. Unfortunately for the others, the winners have already been... predetermined.
How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape?
Unfortunately for you, Makoto is one of those yans that is perfectly ok with your life consisting of being tied, 24/7, in one place. He'd keep you restrained at all times, with something soft of course! He doesn't want to hurt you, but it's for your own safety.
DR1 Makoto would constantly be coming back to the room to check on you, make sure you haven't left, make sure you're ok. He'd neglect all of his free time opportunities to talk to others and opt to come be with you instead.
Normal Makoto would invest in some special security measures, namely, a very special shock collar that he bought off of some sketchy site. It's made for humans! It has a lock with a code and everything. You honestly wonder why there's even a market for such a thing. It's not just light shocks, no, it has settings. It syncs to his phone, with a built in remote app, one he can push and it'll give you a nice shock of whatever level he sets it at.
However, the collar is also synched to a field of range that it will detect your location in. It's set perfectly to the boundaries of your little home. If you were to step outside the door or the window... Well, it's not going to kill you, but you'll be out cold, and he'll get a notification telling him you tried to leave. The first time, maybe, you can calm him down and convince him it was an accident, you tripped and crashed against the door and it just ever so lightly pushed you over the boundary. He'll believe it... Once.
Unfortunately, he's also one of the ones who sees no issue in permanent bodily modifications to deter you from leaving. He's not like some of the previous yans I've discussed, though, because it's not out of sadism or a lack of care for your feelings, it's a delusion thing. He'll be so sweet about it, reassure you that it's ok, it's for your own good, you're too precious and innocent and the outside world will hurt you, but this way you're safe from yourself and your own naivete. He'll be so, so careful and take such good care of you, he'll give you something strong so that you don't feel any pain at all.
He's also perfectly fine with you living in a constant drugged state, out of your mind, drowsy and completely unaware of anything in the world except him. And things are better that way - really, you can't say you're not happy, you seem so content like this. You don't complain, you don't get angry, you just giggle and smile and loll your head back and forth. You don't fight him. You just smile.
In other words, regarding escape, you might as well give up. Your only real chance is being rescued by someone else, someone who might just notice his increasingly odd behaviors, but if they believe you're dead, which he will go to great lengths to ensure you do, it's unlikely to happen. Any attempts will just be met with a sweet smile, a little laugh at how dumb you are to think that would really work, and quickly taking you back, where his demeanor might get significantly angrier once he can really let loose.
MM! Makoto is an equally unrealistic chance, the worst of all, really. It's just not happening. He'll also likely convince you, much like as the DR1 and V3 did, that the world outside is nearly destroyed, or somehow unlivable, that you're lucky to be here, and that this is the only place where you're safe.
If you try, he'll crack down on however the hell you managed to escape because... how would you even go about that? I mean, the whole environment was designed to be inescapable, and if a whole class of students couldn't find a way out, it's unlikely you will either. Any attempts will likely be dumb and unsuccessful enough that he can't even get mad, it's just amusing.
How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?
Oh, easy. We see in Chapter one of DR1 just how easily he will bend to the will of a girl he likes and nearly end up getting himself falsely accused of murder and all, so safe to say he's pretty easily manipulatable and if you're looking to survive, you can use that to your advantage. However, really, you're better off manipulating him into being a meatshield - he'll guard you 24/7 and be more than willing to die. Poor baby.
However, if he catches onto manipulation once, and it doesn't involve your safety, he'll learn pretty quick. Deep down he's a highly intelligent young man, and you may find the tables turning pretty quickly - he can easily manipulate your paranoia and mortal fear, convincing you that if you just stay with him, you'll be safe, convincing you that everyone else is out to get you, convincing you that this or that person is plotting to kill you. He's so sweet and innocent looking, you'll believe every word.
Bonus: If he were the mastermind, he'd be so deceitful and do it so well, you'd never know. An excellent actor through and through. In a way, it's not acting at all - he loves you and wants you to be safe. This is all so that you'll just understand that you need to be kept away from the outside world - you're actually perfectly safe, he's taken measures to ensure that, but you'd have no way of knowing. Even if you feel like those cameras in the rooms at night almost seem like they're staring right at you.
How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?
Very few. He'll baby you and prevent you from doing most things for yourself. He'll be one to try and keep you entertained, though, most likely get you some kind of tablet or laptop you can use to write, let you play all of his games, let you watch anything, and get you any kind of materials for any hobbies you have, provided he's deemed it non-dangerous. So, given all of that, you don't need to do anything else, right? He'll see anything more as just you pushing your limits, because you're trying to be difficult again. Complaints go in one ear and out the other.
DR1 would be the worst Makoto to have, because he can't provide you with much, and can't lock you in from the outside... so, his primary go-to is gonna be keeping you completely restrained all the time. Don't worry, though, he assures you that once you guys get out of here, he'll take you away to a much nicer place with much more to do! But for now, you'll be getting very acquainted with his ceiling, left with nothing to do but stare up at it. He'll try to be around as much as he can though, and won't leave you for too long, only leaving when necessary. And for the trials you'll just... have a little nap, so it'll feel like no time really passed at all.
Ironically, MM! Makoto gives you the most leniency. He'll make sure anything dangerous is taken away, but then, he'll let you roam the abandoned, hollow shell of the school, whenever he has to work on something, which isn't too often. Of course, this is partially because he's got an eye on you via cameras every waking moment, so really, you feel his presence even when he isn't there.
What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?
For a normal Makoto, he'd be one to give you a "schedule" to help you adjust. He doesn't want you getting depressed and laying in bed all day, it's bad for your health! He wants you happy and lively and that way you can have more fun together! He'll give you a list of very simple tasks to complete throughout the day. If you don't do them, that's ok, you can do them together when he comes back, but they will get done. Other than that, of course, no running away, no attacking him, and you know, just try to be a bit grateful and nice.
If you make him mad enough, he needs time to cool down, and he presumes you do, too. He's one to pull psychological things -- locking you in a dark, dark room with no light or sound for a long enough time, all alone, ignoring your cries and whimpers until he knows you've learned. But once you have, and if he sees the results have turned out as expected, he'll be sweet and affectionate when he takes you out, and tell you he's glad you see things his way now.
How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?
Normal Makoto, once again, we have a very classic yandere trope. He's delusional and in love and anyone who gets in the way will suffer. He's, again, very deceptively intelligent, and he can easily commit a murder, even a string of murders, that no one would ever be able to put together, and certainly that no one would ever suspect someone like him of committing. You could say it's like a talent of his. He has no guilt or remorse, either, and no value for the lives of people who are his enemies.
DR1 Makoto, He's limited to two people, unfortunately. If he had it his way, he would kill them all. But still, that's enough to win. He'll bide his time, setting things up so that hopefully, the more intelligent students get eliminated early. He has masterful ways of pulling strings here and there, planting ideas in people's heads, off handed comments that might just inspire a killing. Once there's only idiots left, well, once two of them go missing, in the most elaborate, confusing murders in the game thus far, they'll never figure it out.
Of course, he'll certainly find a way around the rules. He'll force the mastermind to have no choice but to let you both live. Injured students can't participate in trials if they're out cold, no? So if you have some minor bone breakage, get drugged conveniently before a trial begins, you can't participate. And if you didn't participate, it would really be upsetting to everyone watching if Monokuma killed off a student who couldn't even partake in the trial. After all, they might have been able to turn it around! So really, the mastermind has to let you both live.
Or maybe, he'll convince you to do it with him. Force the weapon into your hand, force it down on the poor poor victim, holding your hand in his. Monokuma can't prove you weren't putting some exertion into it, that it was all his force. Therefore, really, you both killed them. Therefore, the trial is against you both. Therefore... He can get rid of everyone in the way, all at once, with only one left to go - the person behind that bear. And he will find a way - you'd be foolish to underestimate his capabilities. After all, you always thought he was just a lil empty headed guy, shy and flustered, and look how wrong that was.
How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?
In the "developing stages" of obsession, not so much. He's generally a sweet, easy-going guy, even a little bit of a doormat if we're being honest.
Normally, he gets pouty-mad, not violent-mad. Almost what some might call a girl-sort-of-mad, the kind where he huffs and pouts and pretends to ignore you. It's either kinda cute or infuriating, depending on your mood or how you view it. In that state, all you have to do is give him what he wants, of summon a quick apology, and he'll bounce back to normal and loving and affectionate nearly immediately. It's part of an immature streak he has.
He has his snap moments, and will snarl and growl at you with the most furious expression for just a mere moment -- but he snaps back to sweet and soft as quickly as he changed the first time. It's a little bit of mental whiplash for you, really. You almost feel like you imagined it. In those moments, though, he may just for those few instants get a little violent.
If he's truly furious, he gets quiet. It's a little terrifying, really, you know something is coming, and it's not pleasant. He'll likely just grab you and slowly, tortuously drag you to whatever he has planned. He'll give you a very grim, cold expression, and coldly tell you this is what you deserve, and if that's locking you up, he'll tell you you can come back out when you're ready to behave.
So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?
Above. He's a worshipper. He can't even believe he gets to be in your presence, even look at you, he's unworthy and it's all so overwhelming.
It... Gets annoying pretty quickly, actually. He's not gonna sit around and degrade himself all that much unlike SOME certain lucky students cough cough, but he'll constantly grovel and remind you how perfect you are. He's not good enough for you, he doesn't deserve you... a bit ironic to hear, since that certainly didn't seem to stop him from taking you away against your will, but there's a lot of hypocrisies that don't really line up with Makoto.
How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?
Highly so, but also deluded into thinking you do pretty easily. Even if you're screaming and yelling, he just thinks you're having a bad day, throwing a tantrum. He thinks you do love him, if you're in the later stages of things. Anything that conflicts with this delusion is explainable otherwise, usually the default being that, as usual, you're just being difficult, but that's ok -- he really loves you anyway.
Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?
Ironically, what makes him unique compared to my other yanderes is that he's more fitting for the traditional yandere type - a very cute-faced, psycho sweetheart type. He's highly prone to the classic yandere tropes and attitudes, as well as the mental and emotional instability traditionally associated with yanderes - smiling no matter what, even as he does awful things, but also snapping to a dark, angry state over the smallest things.
Guilt tripping. It's his specialty. He's so cute, so sweet, you wouldn't want to make him cry and make him sad... Would you? You're not that cruel, are you? You wouldn't throw away everything he's done for you and leave him all alone with no one... Right? He'll easily manipulate you this way, it's his specialty.
General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?
The thing about those soft sweet boys that are just so innocent? Half the time they're the nastiest, horniest little pervs there are. He's sweet, he'll help you with everything you need! You're struggling to reach that shelf so he'll just put his hands on your hips and squeeze you and lift you up! But he'll stumble a bit, and when you come down you'll kinda land on him just a bit, chest pressed up against his face, and you'll be the one embarrassed - but it's ok. He says he knows you didn't mean to. And he's so sheepish and embarrassed about it himself, clearly it must have been unintentional.
And he's so innocent and kind, you know he doesn't mean to be so touchy, doesn't mean to cling to you so much, so you can brush it off. After all, he's just so nice, you wouldn't want to offend him.
Will jerk off on every single thing he has of you. Every little polaroid, every article of clothing he's stolen, every little thing. It's gross. He's gross. By the time you're kidnapped you might even find some of your clothes that went missing, and they're hard as a rock. Ew.
Like a lot of yans, will get significantly bolder once he has you all to himself. Much more touchy, much more suggestive, boldly, openly horny and just, constantly begging you to just fuck already, whining and even rutting into you if you're still in denial.
MM! Makoto will also 100% watch you get undressed through the cameras every night. Save the video feed and just watch it over and over again, taking in every little detail. Cum all over each little video, watching it drip down the screen. He can almost pretend it's actually dripping down your face, and not just the image of it.
How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?
I... within the first hour of your confinement you're gonna know what this boy's dick feels like. He has no restraint. He just loves you so much! Hell, you might even wake up to him just, grinding into you, jerking off to you. You're just so pretty. You can't expect him to be too restrained, you know? He's so overcome by love for you that he can't help it.
High-level delusional. Will make up every reason in the world as to why you might be rejecting. You're nervous, it's ok, he'll help you get over it. You're insecure, and he'll help you get around that too. Ultimately, in the end, you're not getting out of it, nor putting it off at all really. It'll be the first thing you do to start off your new little lifestyle.
What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?
D/S dynamic
Except... in a really weird way. It's the sub without the dom. Or not really submissive at all. It's a very bizarre dynamic you'll have going on - the way he talks to you is so submissive, so sweet, constantly asking you if you feel good, constantly whimpering and making the cutest little noises, constantly worshipping you, you'd almost forget he has you tied up and is forcing you through it. He acts submissive in his own way, and yet he's completely controlling you. In fact, you're pretty certain he wouldn't actually let you top him in any way, and any attempts to do so will be met with him denying you, telling you to just let him do what he wants take care of you. His attitude and words are submissive, yet he insists on controlling you completely. It's, again, bizarre in its own way, but what isn’t bizarre with this man.
Oral fixation
A guilty one for him, with his whole service attitude and all, because he really likes to be on the receiving end of it. Cumming down your throat is fine and all, but really he's one to pull out and cum all over your face. Bonus points if you wear lip gloss to smear all over his dick, wear glasses he can get cum on, or anything that makes it feel special.
In his rare angry, more dominant moments, he can get kind of rough with it. If he's really mad at you, hearing you choke is a rather satisfying feeling.
Paizuri/Thigh fucking/outercourse
The boy's seen too much porn. Just, pleeeeeeease let him cum on your tits. Please. He begs for it over and over, doesn't matter if you tell him yours are too big or too small, he just really wants to cum on them. He just wants to feel your smooth skin on his dick you know? Maybe he can get the tip in your mouth while you do it too!
And while you're at it... Let him fuck your thighs. Please? Just hold your legs together, not hard right? There's just something about actually seeing his dick against you that makes it so nice, and so temptingly close to your holes. But if you've agreed to it as a way of preventing actual sex, it might just... accidentally go in anyway. It was just too slippery... but now, he's already fucking you so... might as well keep doing that instead.
Cockwarming/activity-sex
Our boy likes his vidya. And you know all those jokes and references to, you know, getting sucked off under the table while he plays games....? He just... really, really would like that. It's a big fantasy for him. He's probably the type of guy to be way too into league of legends dammit and he just, would love to have to try to be quiet, try to get off down your throat while trying not to alert anyone that can hear through his mic. Or just sit on his dick, it's heavenly, he'll gradually just lost control and start losing his game, before eventually cutting it off and exiting altogether in favor of rutting up into you. He likes it, but he doesn't have a whole lot of self-control to actually do it for long before giving up and just fucking you.
How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?
He's one of the ones that really wants it, he thinks it would be so cute, so precious, and of course the benefit of it tying you to him. He might be one to get a bit jealous, though. He likes your attention, and can be a little bit immature about it. Unfortunately, though, he's not actually aware of his own immaturity, so this can present a problem.
What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?
(Insert "iiiiits punishment time!" joke here)
If he's in this mode, an angry mood, his demeanor for sex changes significantly. The weird pseudo sub attitude isn't really there, it's more of a quiet neutrality, a frustrated, but calculated anger that brings out the worst in him. It's honestly frightening for you in and of itself because it's such a dark expression and rough voice and so unfamiliar that it would freak you out just to see him like that.
The go-to is impact pain. In this rare-ish mood, he can actually change pretty significantly -- normally, he'd never dream of hurting you, would feel awful if he did, and would not enjoy it in any way, but now? He kinda... feels like you deserve it, and he'll undeniably get off to it a bit. Something about watching you cry and squirm really helps alleviate the anger. He'll be soft about it later, wipe away your tears and softly murmur nice things... but he won't apologize. You deserved it. If it's that bad, then you'll just have to not do it again.
What body parts of their darling do they like the most?
A thigh boy. Let him use your lap as a pillow, and he'll be a very happy boy indeed. He likes feeling them wrapped around his hips, or his head, likes squeezing the flesh in his hands, likes running his hands up and down.
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An Art of Balance #20
Orion Amari x MC
A/N: As always, Judith belongs to @judediangelo75, I love borrowing her so much!
Word Count: ~ 2.200
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Chapter 20: Support
Orion woke even earlier than usual on the day of their match against Slytherin. The little light filtering into the dorm from the semi-circular windows in the upper part of the masonry was tinged blue with the promise of dawn being near.
He took great care not to wake anyone as he quietly got dressed and left for the Quidditch pitch. Watching the sunrise had become a habit for him ever since the Christmas break; he found it was the best way to greet the new day properly and feel at one with himself and the universe.
One thing he always told his teammates was how important pre-match rituals were to channel their focus; today was the first time he had decided to skip his own. Usually, he would set his mind by meditating over the pictures of his team, his family, he had collected over the years. It reminded him where his heart was lying and why he was doing all of this.
But now, looking at the pictures of them all happily together led to nothing but pain and regret. They were showing different times, when they had been unburdened by the strains weighing down on the bond holding them together.
The whole team had fallen off balance.
Since the tensions that had been simmering beneath the surface had come to a head, Everett had become openly hostile towards him. His derisive tone and snarky remarks would usually have washed off him, Orion’s ease of mind being too strong to let someone as impulsive as Everett get to him.
But as of late, Orion’s patience had begun to wear thin and he felt himself reciprocating the negative energy surrounding him. He knew that he was a good captain and that the majority of his team respected his uncommon style of leadership. But upon seeing the rift that was splitting the Hufflepuff team into separate groups, he couldn’t help but ask himself if he had done all in his power to prevent it from happening.
He wasn’t the only one to be disdainful of Everett’s behaviour; no one really seemed to like him.
Orion almost felt sorry for Judith for having to put up with him as her partner on the pitch. Granted, they worked well as a pair, Judith’s cleverness and experience as a Beater complementing the sheer strength and aggressiveness Everett typically displayed.
But off the pitch, he shunned the rest of the team, preferring the company of the other boy’s sharing their dorm. Not that the other players minded; the only one willing to put up with him was Brian, their Keeper, but even he could be seen rolling his eyes at Everett’s attitude more often than not.
Judith and Lucy kept to themselves most of the time. Neither of them had a factual problem with any of their teammates but they had no sense for the drama either. They just wanted to play and play well; the internal quarrels of the team endangering their chance at the Quidditch cup didn’t sit well with them.
The last faction of their once united team consisted of Lizzie and Skye. Lizzie didn’t have any issues with anyone, except Everett perhaps; but her loyalty had her stick to Skye, who was shunned by the rest after the tantrum she had thrown.
Much to his surprise, Skye had sought him out the same evening to apologise for her behaviour; she had apologised twice, once to him as her captain, and once to him as her friend. Her regret had been palpable and Lizzie’s plea for her still fresh in his mind; so he had accepted her back in the line-up, albeit under one condition.
The greater part of the players was still mad at her antics, no matter what her personal reasons for them were. If she wanted to play against Slytherin, she would have to make a third apology to the entire team. Skye had agreed instantly.
When arguments would arise time and again, he was most inclined to take the side of Skye and Lizzie; not only because they shared a position, but also because they were the ones he had always felt most connected to.
Seeing the fragile construct that had become the Hufflepuff team, however, he didn’t dare rip another cornerstone from its foundation by giving up his neutrality. Besides, it was clear as day that Lizzie wouldn’t have wanted him to.
They had returned to where they had left off at the end of last year; once more, Lizzie wasn’t speaking to him, positively darting from the scene whenever he came near her. She had even missed the Herbology session the day before; Rowan had muttered something about her not feeling well.
As much as Orion had been furious with Skye for blurting out what he hadn’t dared to admit even to himself, he had felt relieved after he had had a chance to think about the matter. The constant back and forth between Lizzie and him claimed the majority of his attention and distracted him from everything else.
He had hoped that after their discussion something would change between them, one way or another. They were standing on the verge of a crossroads and the uncertainty of where the journey might take them occupied all of Orion’s heart and mind. But instead of taking a step forward, they had turned around and moved back in the direction they had come from.
Orion knew which way he wanted to go, but it was not a path he could walk on his own.
All these thoughts were running through his mind as he entered the Quidditch pitch. The mist was still hanging over the dewy lawn as he mounted his broom and flew to a comfortable height before carefully standing up, taking a moment to find his balance and waiting for the day to begin.
*
He stayed on his broom long until after the sun had gone up and the morning had turned to noon; all the while his thoughts were ebbing and flowing until they became steady, focused solely on what lay ahead.
Before his legs were growing too tired, he abandoned his meditation exercise and headed back to the castle. By the time he reached the Great Hall, it was already packed with students enjoying their lunch. The vast room was buzzing with excited chatter about the imminent start of the match.
The only people not visibly bouncing with anticipation were the Slytherin and Hufflepuff teams; both were huddled at their House tables lining the far ends of the walls, looking rather strained.
His teammates had assembled at the head of the Hufflepuff table, set apart from the rest by their canary and black sweaters bearing their squad numbers. Contrary to the noise around them, neither of them spoke a word, everyone coping with their pre-match nerves in their own way.
As McNully took great care not to sit with them on matchdays due to impartiality issues, Orion sat down next to Skye, who was furiously poking at her food. He could have sat anywhere, but he wanted to make a point to the rest by actively seeking her company; if he could forgive her, the others should be able to as well.
She looked up from her plate, her freckled face paler than usual. “There you are, Captain. Ready for the match?”
“Are we ever truly ready for anything?” Orion asked back while piling vegetables onto his plate. Skye only grunted in reply before she returned to manhandling her lunch. But Orion wasn’t concentrating on her anyway.
To his surprise, the mood between his teammates seemed to be rather good. Everett and Judith had started going over their tactics in hushed voices; Orion could see how Judith tried hard not to roll her eyes at something Everett had just said. It was reassuring to know that she tried to put her disregard for the boastful Beater aside for the time being.
Lucy, who sat next to Judith, pushed her food from one side of her plate to the other without touching it; she was opening and closing her other hand subconsciously as if she was already reaching for the Snitch in her mind.
Unsurprisingly, Lizzie sat the farthest from him. She was the only one who didn’t even bother with trying to eat before heading to the pitch for their warm ups; Orion knew how nervous she got before every single game.
Lizzie hadn’t even acknowledged his arrival except for a minuscule glance in his direction. It had only lasted for the fraction of a second; now, her attention was fully fixed on the empty plate before her. Rowan sat by her side and babbled animatedly, but Lizzie didn’t seem to be listening.
Unlike her friend, Rowan had given him a wide smile and a wave when she had seen him approaching.
Orion had noticed that she was finally starting to relax around him. Although she was still doubtful of anything he said during the tutoring that didn’t agree with the textbook, since Lizzie had taken herself back from the teaching bit by bit, Rowan had learned to open her mind to his way thinking.
He was glad to see Lizzie had such a good friend to give her the support she needed. He’d had the impression that there had been a strain between the two girls, but judging at how adamant Rowan was at sharing her good mood with her anxious friend, they seemed to have overcome their differences. Rowan was a good and solid friend to Lizzie; something he had told her just yesterday.
*
Orion had been leaving the prefect bathroom he was allowed to use as captain of the Hufflepuff team the evening before. The atmosphere in the Common Room had already been bubbling with anticipation of the approaching match and the nervous energies had been too much for him to properly focus. A hot bath and the quietness of the exclusive bathroom had never failed to soothe the agitation burning inside him before every match.
He had almost bumped into Rowan as he had been rounding the corner of the hallway. He must have startled her because she gave a little shriek as she realised who it was she had run into. She answered his greeting with a stammered response, quickly hiding her bright pink washbag behind her back.
“What are you doing here?” She appeared to be flustered their unexpected meeting.
Orion smiled friendly at her. “I was just taking a bath to calm my mind.”
“Yes, of course, because of the match,” Rowan pushed her glasses up her nose, “everyone seems to be so nervous. Lizzie has been out of her mind for the last days.”
Orion could guess why; Lizzie had always been prone to getting overwhelmed by her nervousness but what had happened between them probably hadn’t done much to help her mindset. Their conversation had been subject of his own musings more than a few times as well. He had told no one of what had been said, not even McNully when he had interrogated him afterwards.
But only because he chose to keep things to himself didn’t mean Lizzie would do the same. He knew how deep her bond with Rowan ran and he assumed that she had told her best friend everything that had happened.
“I’m sorry to hear she feels unsettled,” he said softly. “Despite everything, I hope she can find the focus necessary to perform to her own standard when the time is right.” He smiled sincerely at the girl in front of him. “She can count herself lucky to have such a wonderful friend like you supporting her; how can we soar freely when we have no safe place to land?”
Rowan’s cheeks flushed at the compliment, but it was masked by the dim light of the dark corridor.
“Of course I support her,” she whispered. “Lizzie is my best friend; she means the world to me.”
“Yes, she has a singular spirit, indeed,” Orion agreed wistfully. He shivered, and not only from his still wet hair that was slowly drying in the cold air. He ran his hand through it and shifted his weight in the direction he had been going before.
“Are you coming to cheer her on tomorrow?” he asked over his shoulder as he moved past Rowan.
“Of course I will, all of you,” she beamed back at him.
“Then I’m sure there is no way we can fail,” he winked at her. “I’m looking forward to seeing you on the stands.”
Orion inclined his head towards her and walked off on his way to the now hopefully quieter Common Room. He didn’t turn around again, so he couldn’t see the dreamy look on Rowan’s face as she stared after him.
#hphm#hogwarts mystery#orion amari#orion amari x mc#quidditch#the quidditch squad#lizzie jameson#art of balance#aob
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Ishii v. Moose Added To Resurgence, Tanahashi & Ishii Added To Fighting Spirit Unleashed; NJPW Strong Tapings In Texas, Philly Announced, Fueling Speculation About Jay White & FinJuice in G1 Climax 31; RIP Bobby Eaton (8/14/1958 - 8/4/2021)
New Japan of America has had a busy couple days of announcements.
First off, another match has been added to NJPW Resurgence on 8/14/2021, as Tomohiro Ishii will face off against Impact Wrestling’s Moose. Neither man were originally advertised to be on Resurgence. The pair last fought at ROH/NJPW War Of The Worlds Night 1 on 5/9/2016 (I’m sure the writeup is somewhere here on this blog), back when Moose was still in ROH, with Ishii getting the victory. Since that time, Quinn Ojinnaka’s 2009 arrest for domestic battery from when he was an NFL player has become more of public knowledge amongst wrestling fans, and it’s been recently revealed he pals around with known registered sex offender Chasyn Rance. Suffice to say, not very impressed, especially after the stench of Chasyn Rance already cast a pall on a NJPW branded show on 6/29/2018. Between this and the very high possibility that Jon Moxley’s mystery partner is Sami Callihan, I have to say, there’s another wrestling show running that night in AAA Triplemania, and that might have my attention a week from Saturday. Just saying.
Also announced, is the addition of Ishii and Hiroshi Tanahashi to the NJPW Strong tapings on 8/16/2021. It will be Ishii’s debut, and Tanahashi’s in-ring debut, as he has been one of the Japanese commentators on NJPW Strong since the show started.
In addition, NJoA announced two more sets of NJPW Strong tapings, also travelling. The Autumn Attack shows will happen on 9/25 & 9/26/2021, from the Curtis Culwell Center in Garland, TX, the site of a recent AEW Dynamite Fyter Fest episode. Meanwhile. this year’s edition of New Japan Showdown will take place on 10/16 & 10/17/2021 at the old ECW Arena in Philadelphia, PA.
One thing you may note is, these shows take place smack dab in the middle of G1 Climax 31, and very many names who you’d think would be part of G1, including Jay White, Juice Robinson and David Finlay Jr., are all listed for these tapings. There is some discussion on the internet that the three of them opted out of G1 Climax this year, and decided to stay in the USA for the time being. Given how much COVID-19 is resurging in Japan during the Olympics, this is not the worst idea. Given how much COVID-19 is resurging in the USA, including and especially Texas and Florida, where Jay White is said to be residing now, this seems like a very dicey proposition at best. I believe it, however the main source for this report is also the one who reported an imminent revolt in the NJPW lockerroom among the non-Japanese wrestlers, and we all know how that worked out. Whatever the case, unless teleportation suddenly becomes a thing, we can safely rule out Switchblade, Juice and Finlay from G1 Climax 31.
Also of note, Lio Rush is still listed as being on these shows, so this retirement may not be as immediate as previously thought, if it indeed is still going on.
One of the greatest tag team wrestlers of all time has passed away. “Beautiful” Bobby Eaton, the most consistent member of the classic Midnight Express tag team, passed away in his sleep yesterday at age 62, just 10 days shy of his birthday (shades of Hideki Hosaka earlier this week). Eaton had been fighting cardiac, high blood pressure and diabetes-related issues for a number of years now; his wife Donna (herself the daughter of wrestler Bill Dundee) passed away in May of this year.
As one-half of the Midnight Express (with both Dennis Condry and Stan Lane), Eaton was a multi-championship winning wrestler, and one of the main icons of Southern tag team wrestling. He was also frequently considered one of the nicest people in wrestling, often looking out for other workers who needed help of some kind. I really can’t go into everything he was about, suffice to say, he had a long and glory-filled career. Look him up, read about him. Truly a wrestler’s wrestler.
Despite all that, Eaton did not make it to NJPW, or Japan in general, until 1993, whilst working for WCW, a company he would be with since it was Jim Crockett Promotions, and stay with until the bitter end in 2001. Eaton had exactly 30 matches in NJPW, on the Explosion Tour 1993, Fighting Spirit 1994 and NJPW WCW World In Japan shows in 1995. The biggest match he had in NJPW was an IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team title challenge on 6/14/1993, teaming not with either Midnight Express partner, but Tony Halme, falling to the champions the Hellraisers, Road Warrior Hawk & Power Warrior (Kensuke Sasaki).
Our thoughts and condolences to his family, loved ones, friends, and anyone who was thrilled by Eaton in the ring.
#NJPW#new japan pro wrestling#new japan pro Wrestling of America#njoa#Tomohiro Ishii#moose#resurgence#njresurgence#njpw strong#Hiroshi Tanahashi#autumn attack#new japan showdown#Jay White#juice robinson#david finlay jr.#lio rush#bobby eaton
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Call An Uber? | 05
BTS x Reader | idolverse au, uber driver!Reader, translator!Reader | Fluff, flirting, super slow burn, angst and hurt/comfort, mature themes and eventual smut
Summary: Your normal life with a normal, yet inconsistent job gets drastically changed when your dreams come true. Sounds boring right? What happens when all of this occurs, but you’re still doing something you love AND getting a large sum for it? Now there’s something to think about, and it’s definitely not what you’re thinking.
Warnings: Mild swearing
Word Count: 4k
< masterpost >
A/N: Hey there tumblr readers! This story might not seem all that angsty or plot-heavy in these first few chapters, but I promise it builds into it. I apologise for all the slow burn, I just can’t help myself ^^;
»»————- <<prev | next >> ————-««
Getting home after the calming car ride seemed a tad anti-climactic. Weariness from the day piled high onto my shoulders, and as I threw my bag into the corner of my bedroom, I all but flopped onto the bed unceremoniously.
The small apartment wasn’t much, but it was enough to sustain me. The landlord was polite at least, and the rent was luckily just within my budget for now. It consisted of a small kitchen and a cosy living room all in one tiny, yet open space. A door led into the one and only bedroom of the apartment, which was also lacking in spaciousness, but it wasn’t as if anyone else was living here. All in all, it was adequate despite not really being something I was used to.
Laying silently on the bed allowed my thoughts and memories from the day to shroud my mind. I remembered how helpless and overwhelmed I’d been feeling when escaping into the carpark of the building, and how my responsibilities had come crashing through like swelling waves of inky ocean water.
Feeling lost was one way to describe that moment, but Yoongi had consoled me to a point where I felt stable and supported. Even if he didn’t mean to show it directly, of which I wasn’t so sure, his way of letting me know he cared hadn’t been lost on me. I was usually good at noticing these things, so it was surprising to see that he wanted to show the gentle side of him tonight. I guess I really was finding out how these boys lived. I was seeing their thought processes with my own very eyes, something vital that was missing in my connection with them before.
Things were happening quickly, but I was ready to let them happen with welcoming, open arms. I was going to absolutely thrive in this new lifestyle, so why let stress weigh me down like a pile of bricks? I just wouldn’t let it.
Rolling over to smooth down the pale bedsheets with my fingers, I couldn’t help but let my mind drift to the sharp eyes of Yoongi, the dazzling smile of Jimin, Namjoon’s dimples…and just all seven of them. I needed to let them know how their fans felt, and I needed them to let me know if they had any doubts about their popularity and future. This could be one of my purposes, and a goal combined with many, many ARMYs. If I had the chance to console them, just like Yoongi had with me, then I would jump at the opportunity with no malignant intentions. I only wanted to help them and share with them the happiness they had given me throughout the years. To groove out their misgivings and straying negativity that allowed unnecessary stress and anxiety to build.
This was my purpose.
~
The days scorched hotter and hotter, meaning another short meeting for us at the firm. Nobody wanted to stay inside a sticky office filled with the sounds of stuttering air conditioners and electric fans, so Bang PD let everyone go home earlier than usual. When I say earlier, I mean mid-afternoon anyway, so it’s not like it’s actually early.
I’d finally started out with my new job, and so far things had gone swimmingly. The staff were continuously friendly, and the workload was nothing too devastating. Since the company had been a little short on multilingual interpreters, the amount of language related jobs had been growing over time. I could have been overwhelmed, but instead it was somehow smooth sailing from the get-go.
Things were going splendidly, but I wondered about what was going to happen with my Uber job. Would I just stop? It wasn’t like I needed the money from it now, so what would even be the point of it? Meeting new people from all cultures and backgrounds wouldn’t even be an issue at all. Maybe, just maybe the idea of giving up my job as a glorified taxi driver was an imminent one.
~
The office had been bustling today, but I knew it was because everyone was focused on preparing for the upcoming BTS concert. One of the company’s translators held out some papers from where he sat in his wheeling chair. “(Y/n)-ssi, could you please drop these down to the stylists? I translated the articles like they asked, so they’ll want to have a look as soon as possible.”
“Of course. I was about to bring them some coffee anyway. They’ve been working tirelessly,” I smiled at him and grasped the papers. It seemed the marketing management had wanted select articles about their fashion sense, hair styling and makeup to be translated from various languages.
I scurried to the kitchen area where I’d already started on the coffees. Someone had graciously told me how most of the stylists liked their drinks, and I knew they would need it after how much they had been testing makeup supplies and hair products downstairs. I shuddered at the thought of having my fingers sticking together from the amount of hairspray circulating the room.
The basement was pretty much where everything happened. Practices, auditions, coaching etc. You name it. After dropping off the notes and coffees, I was showered with gratitude from the stylists and was shocked to see just how tired and worn-down they were. The thought that something big was about to happen caused excitement to curl deep within the pit of my stomach.
Maybe there’ll be new hair colours soon?
“No worries, make sure you get some rest!” I reminded them before letting the door to the changing room click shut.
I was right about the hairspray thing, it was seriously suffocating in there. At least they had some air vents open for ventilation, but I felt bad for those kind-hearted men and women. They would most likely be staying there way into the hours of the night too.
I began to walk back towards the elevator, but my eyes were caught by a bright light flooding from one of the main practice areas. One of the doors had been left wide open, and I glanced inside to see a very expansive room enclosed by pure white walls. The floor was made up of tawny brown floorboards, or maybe vinyl, I wasn’t quite sure. I think it had only recently been renovated.
“(Y/n)? Hello!” a clear and high-pitched voice made me jump in my skin. I looked further into the room to spot Jimin resting in one of the black, wheeling chairs of the studio area. His fading blonde locks had been swept back completely, and I could tell he was tired and sweaty from practicing.
To his left was Hoseok, who seemed distracted until Jimin’s exclamation, and the last person in the room was none other than a certain Kim Taehyung. As soon as the youngest of the three found out I was hiding in the doorframe, his eyes blew wide.
“Hey Jimin, Hoseok-ssi and Taehyung-ssi,” I bowed, as was the custom, and made my way into the room. You really had to spin around to take everything in, it was incredibly large for a practice studio.
I turned when I heard footsteps and was greeted by a very bright and bubbly Taehyung.
“(Y/n)? Ah, it’s so great to meet you finally!” He bowed also and I instinctively reached out to shake his hand, smiling once he brought both of his warmer ones together around my own.
They’re so big, what the hell.
Ripping my line of sight away from his long fingers, I glanced behind him to see Hoseok making his way forward too. “Hey there! I’m also glad to meet you (Y/n).”
I exchanged similar greetings with the fiery red-head, but stepped back when Jimin intervened with a low-pitched whine.
“No, no.” He ran forward and grasped his two bandmate's shirts gently to pull them away. “Don’t crowd her, we’re all smelly from practice!”
His disgusted expression made me grin again, and I shook my head. “Don’t worry about that, a little sweat won’t kill me.”
Hoseok laughed while playfully batting away Jimin’s hands. “Sorry about that, we are kind of gross right now.” He started airing out his shirt rapidly while strolling over to where three water bottles rested along the wall. I noticed that they were the only people in the room and puzzled over the thought. they were usually here with a manager or something, weren’t they?
“What were you guys practicing? And where are the others?” I queried, and watched as Taehyung flashed me a boxy grin. Jimin just groaned and ran his fingers through his hair yet again.
“We’re practicing for the concert, but I only came a couple of hours ago, the others are just at home I think,” Taehyung explained, patting Jimin’s back heartily. “Jiminie and Hoseokie-hyung have been here all day. They’re so fit!”
I glanced over at the two dancers as Hoseok jumped over to tickle Tae lovingly, Jimin just smiled at their loud antics. I was beyond surprised, as none of the members even seemed too tired. They were simply out of breath despite the sheer amount of exercise they’d undergone.
“That’s amazing! You all have so much energy to be able to practice so much.” I earned all of their attentive gazes, Hoseok instantly gracing me with his own beaming smile.
“Thanks! We’re just having a little break, but we’ll start again soon. Would you like to watch?”
My heart almost leapt out of my chest at the thought.
“Would I? Of course I’d love to watch you guys dance.” I clapped my hands together in excitement, eyes bright and shining with an uncontrolled delight. This made Taehyung reach forward with both hands to make a 'flower' under my flushing face.
“How cute!” He cooed, and Jimin pulled him away again. An eye-smile was stretching across the shorter boy's face in the most endearing way possible. Hoseok laughed, following with a “very cute, very cute” and ran off to start the music again.
All three of them were in light clothing, but Hoseok was wearing a white short-sleeved t-shirt while the other two adorned button-ups varying in style. All three wore long black Puma pants, most likely because of the ambassadorship they were part of.
“Ah, I don’t want to mess up in front of (Y/n),” Jimin tilted his head and looked at me with a somewhat pained expression. When I raised my eyebrows at him, he pouted and shook his hair out of his downcast eyes. I felt like I needed to step in.
“Jiminie, you’re an amazing dancer, you’d even make messing up look good. Plus, it’s only practice.”
“Yeah Jimin-ah, she won’t mind,” Hoseok helped me out and as the music started blaring from the speakers again, the rapper jogged over to jab Jimin teasingly in the side.
From the words of encouragement, Jimin brightened and smiled in my direction again before joining the others with a serious glint in his eye. I sat against one of the pristinely white walls to watch the action unfold before me, knowing I was about to witness something magnificent. Taehyung started moving his hands and bobbing his body to the beat in that hilarious way he usually did in mock dance practices, and I couldn’t help but snort in amusement.
“Oh, Taehyung is improving! It must be because we have a lady in the room,” Hoseok teased and shook his head, breaking out into chuckles when Tae moved to hit his shoulder in protest. His bashful smile switched focus to me, and I nodded my head in approval.
“I'm loving the skills though.”
Suddenly, the starting track for ‘Fire’ began rumbling loudly through the speakers, and my ears perked in recognition. Was I actually going to see this performed in front of me? I knew this dance all too well from the countless videos I’d seen.
“Are you guys ready?” Hoseok hollered into the open space, and I watched them line up a few metres back from the large mirror. They must’ve been planning to perform this at the upcoming concert, but I wasn’t sure why they needed so much practice seeing as they literally performed it at most live events.
I suddenly threw my cardigan across the room and jump to my feet, rolling up my sleeves in determination. I didn’t even care if they thought I was the strangest person in the world right now, because this was ‘Fire’. “I’m so joining in!”
As the first ‘bultaoruene’ resonated against the pale walls, I ran into the middle of the room and launched straight into the first part of the dance. Despite wanting to come across as serious, I couldn’t keep a cool and collected demeanour and opted instead to laugh loudly. The others were no different, and as my arms started moving wildly, Jimin fell to the floor in a breathless wreck. Hoseok exaggerated his surprise by cupping his hands around his mouth and cheering me onwards while Taehyung mimicked him with his own loud whoops. All three ended up on the ground as I continued to dance, biting my lip to feign seriousness.
I didn’t try to replicate their dancing, as I knew I couldn’t reach their level, but I still shook my hands rapidly and squeezed impassioned eyes to parody something that resembled it. The music stopped, and I fell to the vinyl floor as well, my breathing shortened due to how much I was cackling. Hoseok had stumbled over to pause the track, and I could hear him suffering just as I was.
“Oh my-Oh my God that was great. Did you learn the whole thing?” he gasped out, making his way back over to where I was sitting with my head pressed into the cold floor. My whole body was shaking and erupting with shamed giggles, and when I rolled over, I hid my face in my hands to stop the embarrassment from showing.
“I’ve seen it too many times to not dance to it.”
“I was not expecting that, you have to dance with us, I’m begging you.” Taehyung ran over, his deeply toned sentence breaking up into various airy chuckles. Jimin was the last to get to his feet, but his face was completely reddened and his hair was even messier than before.
“We’ll teach you the rest. I think we’ve practiced the actual dances enough for today, don’t you think hyung?”
Hoseok exhaled loudly, his eyes crinkling with his smile after regaining his composure.
“Yes, you’re right. And the newest member of the dance line needs some instruction.”
I was still on the floor, but at the agile dancer’s statement I fell over again. Taehyung and Jimin both smiled at the sight of my pained expression.
“Guys, I wouldn’t be able to dance the whole thing properly, let alone with phenomenal dancers like you right there.”
“Thank you for the compliment, but you are going to learn this. No buts.” Taehyung held out a helping hand, and I grasped it to help me get back on my feet. I then turned to Hoseok.
“Okay sonsaeng-nim, where do I start?”
All three boys laughed again, and Hoseok straightened himself, puffing out his chest to seem scholarly. Taehyung pointed towards him with a grin that only widened.
“Hobi-hyung is literally everyone’s dance teacher, he’ll make sure you get it perfect.”
At this, the greyish-brown haired boy rushed to line up beside me and looked sideways expectantly. Jimin , but chose not to line up. I nudged Taehyung into a straighter position with my elbow as Hoseok began pacing in front of us, massaging his chin with two fingers thoughtfully. He lowered his voice to sound gruff and strict, and I had to blow out my cheeks to keep it in.
“First lesson of the day, the chorus choreo.”
“Yes, teacher,” Taehyung and I recited in unison as if being scolded. Jimin nearly fell over again until Hoseok waved his hand dismissively and the whole act was dropped. I fell into the boy beside me, suddenly embarrassed once more, but not being able to contain myself any longer. Taehyung patted my shoulder comfortingly while stifling his own noises.
“Honestly, we weren’t joking about you learning the dance though,” Hoseok started and meandered over to grasp both my forearms, tugging on them to lead me forwards. I groaned and sent a look that screamed ‘help’ towards Jimin and Taehyung, but they both just snorted.
I internally cursed Jimin for betraying me like this. I’d thought he was my friend.
“Jimin-ah, Taehyung-ah, you’re going to help too.” Hoseok beckoned them over, and I could only grumble in more complaint.
“Okay, just get Jimin to show me some steps and I’ll see if I can do it properly.” I straightened my arms, which were still being pulled by Hoseok, and tapped my feet a couple of times to get ready. The red-haired dancer eventually dropped his hold, but looked down at his hands as if he’d touched something strange and foreign.
Jimin nodded at my request, and I paid close attention as he lined up in front of the mirror and ran through the starting choreography to the chorus. As both he and Hoseok showed me a slowed down version, I managed to get it all memorised. Taehyung clapped his hands to congratulate me, but his face fell when the phone in his pocket started buzzing incessantly.
“Sorry guys, it’s my turn to help Jin-hyung with dinner tonight. I have to go,” Taehyung fake sobbed, and I watched as Jimin went along with it to hug him comfortingly. Hoseok pretended to cry as well, and I couldn’t help but think this whole scene looked like he was about to be sacrificed to the Devil or something.
“Bye (Y/n), I hope I’ll see you soon,” The lively boy called as everything returned back to normal, and I couldn’t help but revel in the easy-going atmosphere surrounding me suddenly. I hadn't even met two of these people yet, but somehow I'd managed to skip past all the initial awkwardness of first meetings.
“Of course, definitely soon!” I vowed, and the singer left while grabbing one of the sports bags that rested by the door, continuing to walk backwards and wave rapidly. He was just too cute, and the way his eyes glimmered with hope just before he left was etched deeply into my mind. Even long after he was gone.
“We’re fine to teach you something, before we have to go anyway,” Hoseok turned back to us, and I almost face-palmed at the thought.
“Please don’t waste your time, I don’t even have a dancer’s body,” I spoke, my voice drawling out in protest.
“(Y/n) you do! Even if you were playing around before, you could still dance,” Jimin fought my statement, and I scoffed at his widened eyes. He was seriously against people belittling themselves.
“Plus, everyone gets better with practice,” Hoseok joined in, nodding his head cutely as he slammed his hands onto his hips. Jimin ran through the dance again, and I sewed their teachings together to try and copy him. I was shorter and had a different body shape to both dancers, but it wasn’t too difficult to try and alter the moves to accommodate for that. It was safe to say I actually ended up pretty proud of the outcome.
“I just don’t like how I can’t flow properly when I come up from the first move,” I grunted, trying out the steps again. Jimin hummed considerately before moving to stand behind me.
“Move your hands super quickly, and maybe keep this arm up so it’s easier.” He lightly grasped one of my forearms while I stayed frozen in position, and I actually saw in the mirror how it could help me. I was very much aware of how gentle his touch had been and how close his body was to mine. It didn’t help my racing thoughts when his warm puffs of breath made the hairs on the back of my neck tingle.
“And since you have to move your feet soon after, maybe don’t put so much weight on them beforehand,” Hoseok chipped in, and moved my other arm down so I could focus on my feet this time around. He’d been firmer than Jimin with his touch, but the singular fact that both of them had touched my arms in the span of a minute was enough to leave me breathless. I followed his instruction and gulped when the dancer’s lips quirked up into a knowing smirk.
The fucker knows what he’s doing.
“See, speed it up and try it now!” Hoseok bounced to get on my other side while Jimin stood and watched his partner offer his own extra tips. I found out just how useful a wall-sized mirror was when learning to dance, and when complimented by Hoseok’s timely sound effects, it wasn’t hard to get down the moves.
“Pa, pa and... boom! See, you have it. You’re a natural.” Hoseok reached up to exchange a sharp high-five, and I complied before covering my face again. This was almost too embarrassing. I just knew how badly my cheeks were flaring with flames of blazing pink.
“See hyung, I told you she was cute when she blushed.” One of Jimin’s fingers came to poke my cheek, just like he had done that one time in the car.
I reeled away from him. “Ah, don’t tease me, how rude!”
Hoseok and Jimin chuckled, and I heard the older dancer agree with my words in another fresh bout of mockery. “She’s right Jiminie, don’t embarrass her too much or she might just faint because of you.”
I growled, and they both stifled their laughing.
“As if I would faint, it’s not like I’ve never received a compliment before.”
“Ooh, cocky.” Hoseok tilted his head back and I smiled as both boys shook their heads at each other with crossed arms.
“Hey!” I pushed both of them away using their broad chests, scrunching my face up. Knowing it wasn’t convincing in the slightest, I inwardly cursed my continuous failure to hide emotions.
“But seriously, she has that natural aegyo,” Hoseok pointed out with wide eyes. Jimin’s jaw slackened in surprise before he agreed wholeheartedly.
“I’m leaving, before my face burns clean off,” I then announced, pointing an accusing finger at the two chuckling dancers who were making their way over to gather their belongings and drink bottles.
“Remind me to never be alone with you two again.”
“But (Y/n) …” Jimin licked his lips and smiled sweetly. “We’re not making any promises.”
The duality of this man truly scared me.
“Whatever, I should actually get going though,” I noted forlornly, not continuing to joke even though I really wished to do nothing but. The boys both nodded with their spirits also seeming to dampen slightly, but Hoseok lifted his head to smile with that signature sun-like glow of his.
“It was really fun to dance with you, please consider learning with us again (Y/n).”
“It sounds like you’re trying to sell me something, but sure I’ll think about it.”
Jimin erupted into giggles and slapped his elder on the shoulder before curling into him, just like he usually did when he laughed really hard. Hoseok merely pressed his lips together and tilted his head to seem hurt.
“Please do,” he agreed in a broken whisper, but I steeled my throat from letting anything close to laughter escape its clutches. I would be here for way too long if I couldn’t control myself.
“Okay bye!” I shout, listening to their farewells before ducking out into the chilled hallway.
Time had seriously flown by, and I remembered that I would have been home hours ago if I hadn’t been so severely side-tracked. I sighed with weariness as I finally made my way towards the steel doors of the elevator, listlessly passing a trashcan full of several empty coffee cups.
Copyright © 2020 by salade. All rights reserved.
tagged: @l4life, @joyful-jimin
#bts x reader#bts fanfiction#bts#bts fanfic#bts fluff#bts angst#bts scenarios#ot7#idol au#bts crack#bts smut#bts imagine#reader insert#kim namjoon#park jimin#jung hoseok#kim taehyung#min yoongi#jeon jungkook#kim seokjin#uber driver#fluff and angst#salade-tb#call an uber?
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commenting on without reblogging:
I'm having trouble reconciling "it's OK to put your mental health first" with "it's OK to watch Netflix all day and not worry about anything else" because...you know what tends to be bad for people's mental health? That. It is OK and good, if you can afford to, to prioritize things that make you feel good (or feel anything) over things that have to get done. (If you're in imminent danger of homelessness or something else Very Bad, prioritize that over feeling good for now.) But almost certainly, Netflix all day is not an effective way to prioritize feeling good. I am fully aware that mental health issues often come with executive dysfunction and sometimes "go outside" and "make yourself do things" etc isn't actually helpful advice, and also? Don't fucking plan on watching netflix all day. At least alternate netflix and a non-screen activity, even if it's just doing puzzles in a physical book or something. And try to keep a consistent eat/sleep schedule. I do, by the way, recommend taking notes for yourself on what helps you break out of being stuck if that's an issue for you. (As in...you know you should get up and eat/brush your teeth/go to bed/start writing that thing you need to write/etc, and you've known that for the last 20 minutes/three hours, and you just can't.) For instance: counting down from five to one; spending a minute focusing on your breathing; hitting play on a specific "get moving" song, briefly journalling about how badly off schedule you are and why you think that happened (ie accountability practice or "I fucked up"), etc. Focusing on a specific, small thing (like breath awareness or a mantra or counting down from five) can break up the current energy and help you shift to a new one, and physical movement such as standing up (and if possible going outside) can both help with changing to a new activity and also break up "I'm a shitty person" type trains of thought. When you can't meditate because your mind just won't do that, a guided meditation that isn't too slow and doesn't have too many silent bits might be more doable and have the same benefits as less-structured meditation -- body scans and metta (loving-kindness) meditations are relatively likely to have this format.
#eat lunch#brush your teeth#mental health#mental illness#I am being a hypocrite as I am really not supposed to be on tumblr right now#it's OK to prioritize a small number of things each day so that you actually do them#and it's OK if those things are all things like and#but do give yourself as many of those as you have a decent shot at actually doing#executive dysfunction#commenting on without reblogging#advice#bolding for readability
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Listed: Joseph Allred
Photo Credit: Susanna Bolle
Joseph Allred grew up in Tennessee and currently lives in Boston, where he’s found good company with acoustic musicians such as Glenn Jones and Rob Noyes. Like them, he makes music that can easily be tagged as American Primitive guitar, a category that Dusted’s Bill Meyer invoked in a 2019 review of two Allred cassettes that were issued on the Garden Portal label: “Of all the musicians who convened in Takoma Park, MD last year to attend The 1000 Incarnations of the Rose festival, Joseph Allred hews closest to American Primitive guitar’s mystical spirit.”
But Allred has also made music that has little to do with that approach, and is not even played on acoustic guitar. A quick survey of the seven vinyl albums and virtual basketful of tapes and downloads that Allred has released on Feeding Tube, Garden Portal, Melliphonic, and Scissor Tail Records since 2013 will turn up songs played on piano and harmonium, banjo instrumentals, and sound collages made from cell phone recordings as well as sonically rich and emotionally commanding acoustic guitar soli. Meyer also reviewed Allred’s newest release, Michael, out on Feeding Tube, noting that “his grasp of the essence of American Primitive guitar, which is that music is not just an idiosyncratic reordering of certain influences… that are played on a steel-stringed acoustic guitar, but an articulation of one person’s uneasy relationship to the wider world.”
Mike Gangloff – “The Other Side of Catawba”
Ten Years Gone : A Tribute to Jack Rose by Mike Gangloff
This song was Mike’s contribution to Buck Curran’s 10 Years Gone tribute to Jack Rose that came out last year. In addition to being a moving tribute to his friend and musical co-conspirator, it points to the mystical, dirge-y side of the Appalachian fiddle tradition that I’m particularly fond of, evoking more than a bit the keening wail of graveside bagpipes.
Powers/Rolin Duo — St
St by Powers / Rolin Duo
A lovely ecstatic drone folk album from these lynchpins of the Columbus, OH cat-instagramming scene. Shimmery, rumbly, at once earth-planted and heaven-turned. 12-string guitar paints color washes like the album’s watercolor sun-scape cover and hammered dulcimer fills to the brim with echo, sometimes sounding on the verge of being blown apart by its own reverberation. It’s been providing a much-needed meditation and catharsis lately.
Ostad Elahi — The Sacred Lute: The Art of Ostad Elahi
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Nur Ali Elahi was a Kurdish musician, mystic, jurist, and philosopher born in Iran to the Yarsani religious leader Hajj Nematollah. Despite showing a prodigious talent for the tanbur and being recognized as a master musician at an early age, he never played music in a professional performance setting, preferring to use the instrument, which accompanied him throughout his life, as part of a personal spiritual practice. The tanbur has an airy, ephemeral sound often described as dry or even ascetic, but it uses a rolling right hand technique that creates seemingly unending hypnotic swirls of notes.
Buck Gooter — Finer Thorns
Finer Thorns by Buck Gooter
I met Billy Brett and Terry Turtle about 10 years ago when the band I used to play in shared a spot with Buck Gooter on the lineup of a Harrisonburg, VA basement show. I thought of Suicide and Big Black with some primal Ramones-tinted sludge seeping through the cracks, but it was ultimately something uniquely weird in the best possible way. I didn’t get to know Terry as well as I wish I could’ve before he died last December, leaving Finer Thorns as his last album, but he was a special person and a true outsider art savant. I wish Billy the best as he carries the Buck Gooter flag forward on his own.
Stanley Brothers — The Complete Columbia Stanley Brothers
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My dad sang in a gospel quartet and I used to poke fun a bit by asking if it hurt his feelings that most of the gigs they got were at funerals. Maybe because I’ve experienced a lot of loss in the last decade or so I understand the special place gospel music has around death for some of us, but I think it can call us to start building a heaven on earth just as it imagines a place where our departed friends and lovers watch over and wait for us. These recordings made between 1949-52 are some of the finest gospel and bluegrass to be found and have been my medicine for homesickness and world-weariness.
Arvo Pärt — Für Alina
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I did a transcription of this piano solo for a tape that came out on Michael Potter’s Garden Portal label two years ago and found my first experience with transcription deeply rewarding. Für Alina is a quiet, introspective piece, arranged to slowly unfold and then fold back up and consisting of two voices that move together against an occasionally sounding pedal tone. When I arranged it for guitar, one of the alterations I needed to make is that I put the two voices in the same octave, whereas on the piano they’re played an octave apart. Pärt intended the dedication to “Alina” as a consolation to a mother who had recently been separated from her daughter, so distance is a theme of the piece, but I found it especially poignant that the tension between the two voices seems much more pronounced when they’re put closer together.
Julian Bream — Dances of Dowland
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The recently departed Julian Bream was a giant of classical guitar but his anachronistic lute playing technique and use of an instrument with some modern amenities earned him the ire of the more authenticity-minded lutenist community (apparently a fairly ornery bunch). I don’t recommend caring too much about the difference between the right hands of a classical guitarist and a dedicated lutenist, and I still love this album of Dowland renditions for the lute. Bream is a particularly good candidate to bring out the drama and flamboyance that can be extracted from the music, and it’s always a treat to hear the joy and mastery he brought with him to whatever era or instrument he happened to be playing.
Popol Vuh — Spirit of Peace
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Music can be weaponized and used to challenge oppressive structures in overt and destructive ways, but in the hands of those like Florian Fricke, it creates spaces for self-transcendence and communion with the Divine, which builds the foundation necessary for successfully transfiguring those structures or building new ones. It allows us to enlighten and empty ourselves, to become conduits for Divinity and activate it in the world. Like much of Popol Vuh’s music, Spirit of Peace speaks from soul to soul.
Alan Sparhawk — Solo Guitar
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I’ve been experimenting with an electric guitar a little after having gone two years or so without plugging in at all and using some of that time to think about what the electric guitar excels at or might be uniquely capable of. Alan Sparhawk’s Solo Guitar came out the year after he had a well-documented breakdown that led to the cancelling of a 2005 Low tour and an eventual hospitalization, and this album stands out to me as a testament to how bleak and alienated the electric guitar can sound. It’s also a reminder of what made me put the electric guitar down for so long to begin with. It’s a beautiful album, but sometimes I can’t help but hear audio renderings of hellscapes Alan must have been fighting through.
Dorothee Soelle — The Silent Cry: Mysticism and Resistance
Dorothee Soelle was a German Protestant theologian who came of age against the shadow of Germany’s horrific deeds during World War II. She spent her professional career as an outspoken critic of the Vietnam War and Cold War arms race, patriarchal renderings of God, and a perversion of Christianity she called “Christofascism.” The Silent Cry stands as one of her most important and widely read works. She imagines an imminent, politically engaged mysticism, one equally at odds with the violent, patriarchal exploitation enacted by capitalism, and other-worldly mysticisms that refuse social analysis.
#dusted magagzine#listed#joseph allred#poor faulkner#mike gangloff#Matthew J. Rolin#Jen Powers#ostad elahi#buck gooter#stanley brothers#arvo pärt#julian bream#popol vuh#alan sparhawk#dorothee soelle
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[Full article pasted here]:
For the past several months—and the past three Democratic presidential debates—the party’s two progressive standard-bearers, Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren, have been making love, not war. As Warren told Anderson Cooper in the first debate, “Bernie and I have been friends forever.” During the second debate, with both of them on the stage the same night, Warren made a point about the disastrous effects of US trade policy—and Sanders chimed in, saying, “Elizabeth is absolutely right.” When Wyoming Representative Liz Cheney attacked Warren on security policy, Sanders tweeted in the Massachusetts senator’s defense, while Warren has resolutely refused repeated media entreaties to disavow her support for Medicare for All, the Vermont senator’s signature initiative.
This absence of infighting on the left—or at least between these two left candidates, since elsewhere on the left the narcissism of small differences rages unabated—has long troubled the centrist press. New York magazine’s “Intelligencer” reported the truce between Sanders and Warren was breaking down in June; Politico speculated the two were drifting apart in July; The Hill posted a hopeful report of imminent hostilities in August. In September, only a few hours after the Working Families Party announced it was endorsing Warren, she spoke in front of more than 20,000 people in New York’s Washington Square Park—the very spot where Sanders, backed by Vampire Weekend, drew a huge crowd in April 2016. Of course, that was also the year Sanders described the WFP as “the closest thing there is to a political party that believes in my vision of democratic socialism.”
Does the WFP endorsement mean the cool kids have abandoned Sanders for Warren? Has the American left’s long-awaited—by our enemies—internecine bloodletting finally begun? Is the WFP endorsement evidence of that organization’s decline? Or the abandonment by the WFP leadership of any claim to democracy or socialism? Is a partnership that Elle once called “the Jim and Pam of the Democratic race” irretrievably on the rocks?
Some people seem to think so. Our comrades at Jacobin were quick to hurl anathemas at the WFP and Warren, dismissing her as the “darling of a particular strata of more affluent liberal progressives.” Online, predictably, the pileup soon turned ugly, with WFP leaders Maurice Mitchell and Nelini Stamp becoming the targets of racist abuse, according to an open letter posted on Medium by Black Lives Matter cofounder Alicia Garza and signed by over 100 other black leaders.
Sanders immediately condemned any attempt to harass or bully the WFP leaders. In the immediate aftermath of the endorsement—which must have come as a disappointment to Sanders—his campaign manager, Faiz Shakir, declared, “We look forward to working with the Working Families Party and other allies to defeat Donald Trump. Together, we’ll build a movement across the country to transform our economy to finally work for the working class of this country.”
Surely that must be right. However much some on Team Sanders or Team Warren might be spoiling for a fight, their two principals have shown little inclination to turn on each other. Not while Trump is still in the White House. Or while Joe Biden—whose record on issues ranging from bankruptcy to busing to the invasion of Iraq to trade policy makes him a uniquely weak challenger to Trump, even without his unfortunate habit of tripping over his own tongue—remains the Democratic front-runner.
Because the truth is that plenty of progressives like both candidates. Politics may indeed, as Nation contributor Jeffrey C. Isaac recently argued, be “all about choice.” Certainly the WFP has every right to make its preference clear—or at least the preference of a majority under a ranked-choice vote that also gave the party’s national leadership equal weight with members and supporters. And Sanders supporters have every right to highlight that mechanism (though their criticism would have more heft if they held groups that endorsed Sanders, like the Democratic Socialists of America and the electrical workers’ union, to the same standard).
But do the rest of us really have to choose? Already? Working together, Sanders and Warren have been incredibly effective not just in making the case for Medicare for All, a Green New Deal, and all the other issues that are common ground for them but also in dramatically widening the entire left lane of American politics. Thanks to Sanders’s political courage and consistency and Warren’s skillful, steady push at the boundaries of political possibility, ideas once dismissed as radical now dominate the Democratic debates. Sure, Warren calls herself a “capitalist to my bones.” And after deluding ourselves over Barack Obama’s supposed secret radicalism, we’d better believe her. Her supporters wonder, “Is America ready to elect a socialist?” There’s only one way to find out.
Nearly a year ago, The Nation argued for the importance of the “ideas primary,” which would offer “reformers, activists, and grassroots groups their best opportunity to have an impact on the political debate.” And so it has.
At some point, we probably will have to choose. The Iowa caucuses in early February should help clarify matters, and the New Hampshire primary the following week is a test of strength both Sanders and Warren need to win. Until then, though, we hope the two candidates maintain their truce, competing to outdo each other in the boldness of their ideas and the breadth and passion of their support—but also continuing to have each other’s backs.
This country has never been in greater need of bold progressive leadership. Or, arguably, been more open to radical solutions to the problems we face. Warren and Sanders show every sign of knowing that. And of knowing something else their supporters might bear in mind: Solidarity begins at home.
#elizabeth warren#bernie sanders#2020 democratic candidates#2020 democratic primary#2020 election#u.s. politics#democrats#skypalacearchitect
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Episode 122: Tiger Philanthropist
“It’s like the sequel no one asked for.”
Adventure Time is technically a serial, but rather than one continuous story it’s a hodgepodge of multiple meandering plots that get checked up on at random over the course of its 283-episode run. For instance, minor character Maja the Sky Witch was introduced in Episode 133 (Sky Witch), yelling at the end that she’s planning “something big,” and we got that follow-up a full year later in Episode 166 (Something Big; let it not be said that these episodes aren’t named well). Virtually no mention of Maja was made between these episodes, but Something Big served as a direct sequel, beginning in the middle of a huge battle as if we knew it was coming, and we just went with it. That, for better and worse, is the spirit of Adventure Time's long-term structure. Episodes can be about any character in its vast world, and we jump around so much that it feels like anything could happen.
Steven Universe takes a different approach, aided by a singular focus on Steven's point of view. It also has distant sequel episodes, but it’s easier to keep track of these connected stories because of a more unified through-line. I mentioned in The New Crystal Gems that I’d like to see more character interactions that are restricted by this focus (give us an episode about Peridot making avant-garde metal-powered multi-instrumental music with Sour Cream, you cowards), but it’s still generally a positive from a plotting standpoint to keep things Steven-centric.
For the most part, I’m a huge fan of distant sequel episodes in both Adventure Time and Steven Universe despite them being such different beasts. But while the random “hey remember this storyline?” in media res variant works well in a zany show that bounces from plot to plot, Tiger Philanthropist is proof that this type of sequel doesn’t work quite as well on a show with a more traditional structure.
The premise of Tiger Philanthropist hinges on the idea that Steven and Amethyst have been wrestling this whole time. But, as we might see in an Adventure Time sequel episode, we’ve gotten zero references to this subplot between the first and second episode of the story. We never see Steven and Amethyst coming back from a gig. We never hear them talking about it in passing. We never see the tiger mask lying around to indicate recent use. The Brothers Construction and Good-Looking Gang even feel like Adventure Time one-off characters, as they’re for some reason never seen outside of a wrestling context despite Steven Universe otherwise doing pretty well at building a sense of reliable locals and background characters.
Bear in mind that we just had a whole arc about Amethyst’s inferiority complex in terms of physical ability, and at no point did the coping mechanism that she’s apparently been using this whole time come up. The thrust of Tiger Philanthropist is that she’s moved on from the need to use wrestling as an outlet for her issues, but when we haven’t even thought about Tiger Millionaire outside of a few Purple Puma cameos and maybe a poster or two early in our first season, it strains credibility to be told that she still was using wrestling as an outlet for her issues. I’m too focused on the hamfisted retconning to get invested in this story. It’s as if we got an episode about Garnet deciding to stop going to the arcade and Steven is bummed because oh by the way we forgot to mention it but she and Steven have been playing co-op Meat Beat Mania every Thursday since Arcade Mania and it’s a major part of their relationship.
Steven Universe is at its weakest when the crew seemingly forgets key plot points: episodes like House Guest forget a character’s established personality, episodes like Sadie’s Song forget Steven’s development from bratty to empathetic, and both Malachite and Bismuth go unmentioned for huge swaths of the show during times when they would’ve been relevant to discuss or feature. Underground wrestling might be less pivotal than the long-term bubbling of an old friend, it’s just as frustrating for the thread to be completely ignored until it becomes relevant again. Because it’s not like the show always does this: look at Connie’s training, which has focus episodes here and there but is also background noise in other episodes to let it feel like a consistent part of her life. Mindful Education would’ve been a disaster if Connie started training in Sworn to the Sword and then we didn’t mention it at all until she accidentally tossed a classmate.
And really, imagine if at least one of the episodes in Amethyst’s big Act II arc was in the ring. We easily could’ve had Tiger Millionaire accidentally eclipsing Purple Puma as a catalyst for her self-doubt (among many other possibilities that this crew could conceive better than I) and it would’ve made Tiger Philanthropist feel so much better. But I can’t write about that, because that’s not what happened.
What sucks is that I love Tiger Millionaire and am all for more wrestling. Despite my snotty header quote choice about unwanted sequels, I was super excited for Tiger Philanthropist, and that glorious music brought me right back into the zone as the episode began. But the wind went right out of my sails when it became clear that we’re to believe Tiger Millionaire and Purple Puma are fixtures of the wrestling scene, and that it’s an activity that’s super important to Steven as a way of bonding with Amethyst.
And there are plot elements here that, in an episode with better context, would get a chance to shine. In a world where we knew Amethyst and Steven were wrestling for around two years, this would’ve been a pretty emotional conclusion to a relationship that began in the show’s early days (not that Steven and Amethyst would stop hanging out, but it’s always bittersweet when an important phase of your life is over). It would’ve served as a great acknowledgment of how Amethyst has moved on with her life if we saw the part of her life she was moving on from. We could’ve felt Steven’s sense of loss, and the surge of relief when Purple Puma returns for one last ride. If you transported this exact episode into a series that built up to it in any way, it would be a classic. But we aren’t watching that series.
It’s a little fun that I’m unsatisfied with a follow-up where an entertainer reacts to a fan being unsatisfied with a follow-up. Much like Season 2′s Mombo Combo, two thematically linked episodes about moms separating the Week of Sardonyx from Peridemption, we get two episodes in a row about fan interaction to buffer Steven’s long day in space from the continuation of his mother issues culminating in another trip to space. Unfortunately I can’t think of as good a name for Rocknaldo and Tiger Philanthropist as a unit as “Mombo Combo” (the Fandom Menace?) but nobody’s perfect.
Lars plays a fascinating role here, because the easy option would be making him an entitled fan a la Ronaldo who wants things to go just the way he likes. And to be clear, Lars does want things to go a certain way. But he’s not dictating the terms or saying he needs Tiger Millionaire to act exactly how he wants, he’s just frustrated by a new development that seems out of step with his favorite wrestler. Even when asked directly about what he'd like to happen, Lars doesn’t know, because he hasn’t confused his fandom with the notion that he gets to dictate the specifics about the thing he likes.
(I try to be the same way, but I also definitely wrote a spiel about how Tiger Millionaire and Purple Puma should’ve been present during Amethyst’s latest arc like five paragraphs ago. Again, nobody’s perfect.)
It helps that Lars doesn’t understand that Steven is Tiger Millionaire (a repeat gag that I’d probably find funnier if I felt more charitable about the episode), so he’s unaware that he’s speaking with the creator of the content he enjoys; perhaps he’d be singing a different tune if he knew the truth. But as it is, we get a surprisingly generous interpretation of a demanding fan, allowing us to see the ethos behind Lars’s disappointment instead of writing him off as an entitled fanboy with impossible expectations. The timing of Tiger Philanthropist fits perfectly with Lars’s imminent moment in the sun, as he’s still prickly but has enough layers by now that I don’t roll my eyes too hard when he up and calls himself complex.
I don’t talk about the visuals of this show as much as I should, considering how creative the settings and weird alien vehicles and structures can get. But it bears mentioning that, aside from some weird conspicuous computer graphics for falling money, Tiger Philanthropist looks great. The stylized snapshots provide moments of goofy flair to the mix, and the heightened drama of the ring leads to some excellent lighting that shadows Steven’s face as a hooded stranger and makes Purple Puma look like an honest-to-goodness superhero. We get fun choreography and costumes befitting a wrestling episode, and some premium character expressions throughout.
And it’s funny! Colton Dunn remains a worthy successor to Sinbad, giving us not one but two great gags of Mr. Smiley joyfully defining a word to the audience (both in the ring and at home); explaining “philanthropist” is funny enough on its own for how cheesy it is, but I’m really tickled that he gives the same weight to “sea wasp.” Really, this episode has so much going for it if the central idea wasn’t such a misfire.
As you may have guessed by this review, I obviously think it’s valid to criticize aspects of art that you don’t like. So in theory, it sounds awesome to have artists respond to such criticism to make a product that you as a fan enjoy more. But we now live in an age where absolute garbage like CinemaSins allows people to pretend that productive criticism is just nitpicks, an inability or refusal to understand basic nuance, and frankly bigoted ideas about what certain people are capable of doing (if you have half an hour to spare, Everything Wrong About Everything Wrong About Civil War delightfully gets into all three!). It’s a double-edged sword, because creators listening to fans perhaps isn’t inherently bad, but a desperation to fill in “plot holes” at the expense of good storytelling is detrimental to modern storytelling (if you have another half an hour to spare, watch Lindsay Ellis’s take on Beauty and the Beast for more on this; this is a review with homework!). And this is on top of the potential of harassment covered in Rocknaldo, which not even the lousiest content creator deserves.
Tiger Philanthropist isn’t about bad faith criticism, as Lars’s views are from a sincere place, but its message of not treating fans like bosses is a valid response to fandoms who want more and more influence over the direction of an artist’s work. Which could’ve veered towards self-importance or hackneyed nods to the camera, so I appreciate that I never feel pulled out of this element of the story. We never shift from a regular episode of the show to a screed from the animators, and again, Lars isn’t villainized for not enjoying Tiger Millionaire’s face turn. Combined with Rocknaldo, we can see how important good boundaries between fans and creators can be, both for the well-being of the people involved and the quality of the art being created. Shirt Club gave us a tribute to making art, and the Fandom Menace (it’s growing on me) sees a more experienced team of animators commenting on a specific issue when creating popular art, all while not coming across as bitter or self-congratulatory. If only they’d done it in an episode with more buildup!
Obviously the creation of a big letdown wasn’t the intent of the crew, despite how neat it’d be to demonstrate fan disappointment through a purposefully disappointing episode. Rarely do I feel like effort isn’t made to produce a good episode of Steven Universe, and as seen in its strengths, Tiger Philanthropist isn’t lazy. Which makes it a little more frustrating than if they phoned it in, because we’ve got jokes and visuals and a great message but none of it matters when the conflict they wrote requires a backstory they didn’t have. If you’re gonna make an episode about the end of a continuity, it’s critical for literally any amount of that continuity to be established beyond one wayward story over a hundred episodes ago. As it is, I couldn’t wait for this episode to retire.
We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!
Tiger Philanthropist was a huge disappointment, but I wouldn’t consider it bad enough to go on my No Thanks! list. With a different leadup of episodes it would be great, or at least fine; it just suffers from a plot that comes out of nowhere. Context can’t salvage my bottom list, which are episodes I just don’t like period. Still, if I was doing more thorough ranking, it’s probably in my bottom ten.
Top Twenty
Steven and the Stevens
Hit the Diamond
Mirror Gem
Lion 3: Straight to Video
Alone Together
Last One Out of Beach City
The Return
Jailbreak
The Answer
Mindful Education
Sworn to the Sword
Rose’s Scabbard
Earthlings
Mr. Greg
Coach Steven
Giant Woman
Beach City Drift
Winter Forecast
Bismuth
Steven’s Dream
Love ‘em
Laser Light Cannon
Bubble Buddies
Tiger Millionaire
Lion 2: The Movie
Rose’s Room
An Indirect Kiss
Ocean Gem
Space Race
Garnet’s Universe
Warp Tour
The Test
Future Vision
On the Run
Maximum Capacity
Marble Madness
Political Power
Full Disclosure
Joy Ride
Keeping It Together
We Need to Talk
Chille Tid
Cry for Help
Keystone Motel
Catch and Release
When It Rains
Back to the Barn
Steven’s Birthday
It Could’ve Been Great
Message Received
Log Date 7 15 2
Same Old World
The New Lars
Monster Reunion
Alone at Sea
Crack the Whip
Beta
Back to the Moon
Kindergarten Kid
Buddy’s Book
Gem Harvest
Three Gems and a Baby
That Will Be All
The New Crystal Gems
Storm in the Room
Like ‘em
Gem Glow
Frybo
Arcade Mania
So Many Birthdays
Lars and the Cool Kids
Onion Trade
Steven the Sword Fighter
Beach Party
Monster Buddies
Keep Beach City Weird
Watermelon Steven
The Message
Open Book
Story for Steven
Shirt Club
Love Letters
Reformed
Rising Tides, Crashing Tides
Onion Friend
Historical Friction
Friend Ship
Nightmare Hospital
Too Far
Barn Mates
Steven Floats
Drop Beat Dad
Too Short to Ride
Restaurant Wars
Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service
Greg the Babysitter
Gem Hunt
Steven vs. Amethyst
Bubbled
Adventures in Light Distortion
Gem Heist
The Zoo
Rocknaldo
Enh
Cheeseburger Backpack
Together Breakfast
Cat Fingers
Serious Steven
Steven’s Lion
Joking Victim
Secret Team
Say Uncle
Super Watermelon Island
Gem Drill
Know Your Fusion
Future Boy Zoltron
Tiger Philanthropist
No Thanks!
6. Horror Club 5. Fusion Cuisine 4. House Guest 3. Onion Gang 2. Sadie’s Song 1. Island Adventure
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Attack of the Clones Canon Divergence Poly OT3 Plot Bunny
So I dreamed the ENTIRETY of this last night, and I absolutely love it. However, since I literally need to crank out an entire YA novel by November (in addition to editing and publishing the first two in the series), I do not have the time it deserves to write it. Come December, I’ll have the new sequel to inspire me, and will likely write about that instead of more prequel stuff nobody cares about.
But, since my muse DEMANDS validation, I must share the idea with you. Because the summary I cranked out in a couple hours is very long and I respect your time and dash space, I’ll put it under a cut.
Super short version: because things went differently in AoC, Padme, Anakin, & Obi-wan end up in a Poly relationship, fight Palpatine and win, and Padme becomes Supreme Chancellor. I promise it makes sense but you gotta read the long version for that.
Follows the plot of AoC until
Padme insists on going with Anakin when he goes to find his mother. She’s able to comfort him & keep him calm. He can’t slaughter the Tusken village & protect her at the same time, so they simply leave undetected with Shmi’s body.
They arrive back in time to receive Obi-wan’s message live. The conversation is very short as Padme convinces him they should rendezvous nearby & he can use her ship’s more powerful communications array to contact the Jedi council. He quickly agrees & is able to leave Geonosis before the droids find him.
After they rendezvous, Obi-wan contacts the Jedi council & tells them about the Clone Army. When they suggest that they should use it to invade Geonosis, Padme butts in and warns the council that this would start a war they’re not prepared to fight. The clones were commissioned for the Republic, so the Senate should decide what to do with them. They reluctantly agree.
With no imminent emergency, Palpatine is not granted special powers. The Senate bickers about what to do with the army. A growing faction, including Padme, Bail Organa, & Mon Mothma, believe they should allow the Separatists to secede & have their own government in order to prevent a cataclysmic war. Palpatine is not happy with this, and his warmongering efforts cause him to begin to lose control of the Senate.
Padme continues to work with Obi-wan & Anakin to mediate issues concerning the Clone Army. Since they were commissioned by a Jedi (allegedly) but for the Republic, there’s still some question as to jurisdiction. The Jedi complain that there are too few of them to keep the peace in such volatile times, and if they were allowed to lead the army as generals they could do better. The Senate’s compromise is to deploy the Clone Army as a peacekeeping force in place of the Jedi, answering to the local government authorities. They are particularly used in areas that are being harassed by the Separatists who have expressed no desire to join them. The Separatists likewise deploy their droid armies to areas they are having difficulty holding on to. All action takes place terrestrially, and besides a few skirmishes with locals, there is no active fighting between the two forces, although there are several very tense standoffs. The end result is a cold war, with stockpiling continuing until they are close to reaching assured mutual destruction.
Throughout this time Padme, Anakin, & Obi-wan all become extremely close with each other. The unresolved sexual tension between Padme & Anakin is nearly unbearable, but Anakin does his best to respect her wishes (it’s very Victorian lol, lots of situations where they end up in close physical contact, or try to comfort each other without giving in, etc). Padme & Obi-wan find each other incredibly intellectually stimulating, often engaging in “wit-sparring” when one of them plays the devil’s advocate, until Anakin about wants to throttle them both. And as Anakin matures into adulthood, Obi-wan finds that their brotherly bond is deepening into something the Jedi would likely disapprove of. (But he made a promise to Master Qui Gon and he is determined to see it through).
Finally, one day Padme decides to take action (as usual). She sits them both down in private. First, she tells Anakin that she’s reconsidered their conversation at Varykino, and she has come to agree with him. She’s tired of pretending that there is nothing between them. When Obi-wan uncomfortably objects that maybe he shouldn’t be present for this conversation, Padme turns to him & explains that she has fallen in love with him too, she just thought it was best to tell Anakin first so he didn’t go on a jealous rampage. (They all agree she’s probably right, even Anakin). Then she notes that she may not be a Jedi, but even she can tell there’s something between the two of them, too. Obi-wan turns bright red & objects that this would be completely inappropriate to a Master-padawan relationship, while a surprised Anakin says he thought it was actually part of that relationship, and to be expected. Besides, he should have been allowed to do his trials by now anyway (he salty) so it shouldn’t matter.
Padme asks, and stresses that she’s asking, not requesting or demanding, if they would be willing to leave the Jedi order & get married. 3-person marriages are not unheard of on Naboo, and before Kings & Queens were elected, they often had multiple spouses (as many as 5) as the emotional care & support of a regent was often too much work for one person. Anakin immediately agrees without hesitation. He’s had it up to here with the Jedi order, and he would do anything for her. Obi-wan is a little more reticent. He had considered leaving once Anakin passed his trials, as his duty to his own Master would have been fulfilled. But he feels the need to disclose his previous & ongoing love for Satine Kyrze. Padme says she can certainly understand if he would rather go to her, although it pains her to say so. Obi-wan simply smiles sadly and says “she never asked me to leave, though.” He just wants them to know the relationship exists. He doesn’t want to go into this with secrets.
That decided, Padme reveals that the reason she is asking now is that Bail & Mon Mothma (among others) have been encouraging her to make a bid for the position of Supreme Chancellor. Palpatine’s insanity is starting to show, and while it’s uncommon for subsequent Chancellors to come from the same planet, her calm & reasoned handling of the Two Armies Incident has garnered her a lot of support. It’s becoming clear that a war would last decades, if not centuries, and would probably only end in the entire dissolution of civilization as they know it. But she doesn’t think she has the strength to do it without them, and if they remained with the Jedi there would always be rumors that she was being used as a puppet. The Jedi are still largely out of favor as they seem resentful for being removed from their role as peacekeepers in the galaxy and relegated to spiritual leaders only, despite it being more consistent with their philosophy. Freed from their responsibility to the Jedi, Obi-wan could act as an impartial advisor to those things concerning the Jedi. Anakin says he’s not sure how he could help beyond emotional support, he’s terrible at politics, and they both kind of stare at him for a moment. “Anakin, you can be very intimidating sometimes,” Padme tells him. “Uh, thanks?” he says sarcastically. Obi-wan catches on easily. “Sometimes, it’s easier to get things done quickly if there’s a little intimidation behind the request,” he explains. “Oh, so I’m going to be the enforcer?” he asks, a little offended. Then he sits there and thinks about it a minute. “Yeah, I could do that. I’d probably be good at it,” he grins. “Do I get a title? A lot easier to be intimidating when people have to call you “lord” so-and-so.”
This leads to a not-unrelated conversation where Anakin admits that Palpatine has said some very concerning things to him & he is beginning to suspect he may have dabbled in the dark side of the Force (he’s also not sure how he feels about that). Padme agrees and admits that one of the reasons she’s been so resistant to a relationship with Anakin for so long was partly because her old mentor seemed so bent on pressuring her into it. It seemed wrong, especially when Anakin was so young and she thought it would essentially ruin his future. Obi-wan also agrees that it often seemed that Palpatine seemed to be trying to supplant his place as Anakin’s Master, but as he often found himself at a loss for how to guide him, he couldn’t gainsay the additional advice.
Padme & Obi-wan begin to discuss the logistics of them leaving the order (this will be his 4th time so he’s old hat at it) and getting married so as to minimize the political scandal. Anakin seems to be having trouble paying attention & keeps staring at the door. Padme makes a joke about him being impatient as she is to get it over with, but he says “Something’s wrong. Something’s… coming.” Just then the chime for her front door sounds. They sit in silence for a moment, and Obi-wan says the classic “I have a bad feeling about this,” line. Padme decides to answer via an interior room’s communication panel, rather than at the door. Anakin & Obi-wan take places to ready for an attack. At the door is a young woman, one of Palpatine’s aides. No one else is visible on the security camera, but Anakin says he can sense at least 5 more people, and Obi-wan agrees. Padme turns on the audio and says she’s in a private meeting and asks what it is the aide needs. She’s informed that Palpatine has sent to make sure that Padme is alright, as there is breaking news of Jedi attacking Clone Army units & local government throughout the galaxy, and he understood she was likely to be in the company of two Jedi. (In truth, he’s executed order 66 and spun it as incited by the Jedi). Padme responds that no, she’s just fine, and thank you for your concern.
Apparently, this is the wrong answer. The door bursts open, and a unit of clone troopers storms in. These are men that Anakin & Obi-Wan know personally, have worked with, and it’s extremely unsettling to be fighting them. In the process, Anakin’s arm is cut off when he hesitates. (Is he distracted by Padme or Obi-wan getting hurt? Does he freeze when thinks he must kill Commander Cody, a friend? Haven’t decided). But the three of them manage to prevail until they have one injured Clone Trooper left - Commander Cody. Despite his injuries, Anakin uses his pain to gain the power to pull the necessary information from his mind (think Kylo Ren, definitely dark side stuff). He learns the truth about Order 66, and breaks the chip. They rush Anakin and Cody to a medcenter, where Padme turns on the holonet and they see the violence unfolding all over the galaxy. Because the Jedi were not actively working with the clone troopers, it has not been as quick or as successful. The Jedi temple is under siege. Anakin expresses concern for the fate of the younglings within and argues that they should go fight to liberate the temple, despite the fact that he is actively being fitted for a prosthetic arm. When Obi-wan protests, Anakin argues that he can just use the pain to his advantage. Obi-wan chastises him for giving in to the dark side, but Anakin just yells “does it matter which side I use if I’m saving lives? If I’m protecting people???” Without a good argument to the contrary, Obi-wan shuts up.
Padme, however, does have a good argument. Vigilante action is likely to just get them killed along with all the other Jedi. She’s just received word that an emergency session of the Senate is being called. If they can bring Commander Cody’s confession as evidence, it’s more than enough to get Palpatine impeached for abuse of power. They rush to the Senate building, and Bail has already started proceedings for a vote of no confidence. When they present the evidence, Palpatine loses his shit and pulls his “I AM the Senate!” nonsense. Think Yoda-vs-Palpatine in the 3rd movie, but the whole Senate is there and it’s Palpatine vs. Obi-wan & Anakin together. But by now, they’ve learned how to be an effective team, and Anakin has the element of surprise as he absorbs Palpatine’s lightning and throws it right back in his face. (There’s some comment along the lines of “bitch, please, you’re the one who told me how to do this shit).
At the end of the fight, they have Palpatine pinned but they won’t hold him for long. Obi-wan is arguing that they should try to find a way, that he must stand trial, but Anakin is arguing he’s too powerful. They both look to Padme. She knows that this will probably destroy her shot at the Chancellery, but it’s the right thing to do. She tells Anakin to do what he thinks is right. He kills Palpatine. They retrieve Commander Cody, and he helps them figure out how to rescind Order 66. A lot of damage has been done, but the Temple held fast and the losses, while significant, are not even half of the Jedi order as a whole.
In the aftermath, the Jedi Council rules that while killing Palpatine was likely the right course of action, Anakin’s use of the Dark Side makes him ineligible to become a Jedi Knight and he must leave the order. He has the distinct pleasure of telling them the equivalent of, “you can’t fire me, I quit.” A beaming Obi-wan declares that he’s out, too. Bail Organa has been given interim control of the Senate, but he makes it clear that it’s only until things calm down. Padme, Anakin, and Obi-wan are married in a quiet but public ceremony. Shortly after, the Senate reconvenes and surprisingly elects Padme anyway. Apparently, her decision to support Anakin’s argument was actually widely accepted (it’s pretty clear the trial would have ended in the same way anyway). She almost immediately becomes pregnant (dammit Anakin and his super-special chosen-one Force-sperm lol) but she’s confident navigating that at the process of reforming the Republic into a Federation. The galaxy has grown too big to be ruled directly. It will be split into individual factions who agree to a loose constitution of basic rights and laws, but the particulars are left to the rule of the region. The Separatists are offered a seat at the Federation table, and surprisingly, they take it (without Palpatine pushing his buttons, Dooku makes a remarkably capable leader). Peace reigns in the Galaxy, Padme retires the role of Chancellor and they go to live on the estate that Obi-wan apparently now inherits (along with lots of money) and all raise a very happy and well-adjusted Luke & Leia.
Anakin still kind of wants to strangle Padme & Obi-wan when they argue though.
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The 100 6x13 "The Blood of Sanctum" Review
Well, The 100 fans, how are we feeling? Tonight we watched the last season finale The 100 is ever going to give us (the next will be a SERIES finale) and I must say, this is perhaps the first time a finale from this show has left me unsatisfied. Let’s delve into why that is:
Closing Season 6 was always going to be a bit of a challenge. We entered this season with perhaps one strong “A” plot and a minor subplot. We walked out with approximately five more plot lines and none of them are ones I’d consider minor. It’s astonishing to me that The 100 managed to craft a finale that not only didn’t close a single one of it’s existing plot lines adequately but also opened up, quite literally, an entirely new can of worms (anyone remember when worms where a thing on this show?). Let’s run through the list shall we:
Worm Number One: Have You Seen This Boy?
We start the season with the mystery of the Primes, and although we now know exactly what they are and the vast majority of them have been floated, we are left with Russell the Eighth and Priya’s mind drive, clutched securely in the grasp of a now brainwashed Jordan. If it wasn’t obvious enough that Jordan is “under the influence” so to speak, we watch the camera focus on his adjuster while he chats with Bellamy in the finale, proclaiming that he is fine even as he spouts out pieces of information that would make me question that if I were in Bellamy’s shoes. The Prime plot, which could have ended this season, will now make its way into Season 7, where the cult that we were introduced to in this final episode will have a more active role in disrupting the peace. I wouldn’t be surprised if a large part of Jordan’s role next season is finding a new host for Priya and I can’t bring it in me to be upset about that.
In a season where Jordan Jasper Green was one of the most anticipated new additions to the cast he was sorely under-utilized. We listened to various characters recite Monty’s charge to do better all season, but they all failed Monty and Harper where it mattered the most: their son. Shannon Kook is an expert at bringing a Harper-esque zest for life mixed with Monty’s desire to live better and it was a promising combination and one that was lost after episode 5 of this season. While I understand the appeal of first love, especially when you’ve never met anyone who wasn’t related to you or one of your parent’s friends, it is frustrating to me that so much of Jordan’s why is trapped in Priya nee Delilah. It would have been far more interesting to see Jordan take up the mantle Monty and Harper left behind and become the new moral compass of the group, even barring that, I would have been more interested in watching this man-child explore a world that was bigger than the space of the Eligius ship. Opportunity was squandered there and we’ll never get a return on the investment we made.
Worm Number Two: Prime Schmimes
Along with Jordan holding on to Priya’s mind drive comes the need for another host and I have an idea of where he might find one. As I’ve mentioned in my YouTube videos and Twitter threads, they don’t make people Nightbloods for no reason. You need look no further than the Griffin ladies to see that: Clarke, Madi and Abby were all made Nightbloods (born or created) to further storylines and Echo (Ash) will be no different. Although she was spared the privilege of hosting Simone, she is currently the only available Nightblood we know of. Russell is also aware of her status and in the finale he quite clearly states that he wants revenge. He may not be able to bring his family back, but all it takes is one mole in the works to help him achieve that, and he has at least two (Jordan and the adjuster — not to mention the possibility of all of the Children of Gabriel who were brainwashed as well). It would also be revenge for Ryker at the very least — his mother’s mind hosted in the body of the woman who murdered him. While Echo does have the neural mesh (she entered the City of Light as well) and has not been exposed to an EMP, we learned in this episode that Russell was careful to examine Abby before he put Simone’s drive in her — to ensure that there was no failsafe. It’s entirely possible that they can shock Echo with an EMP and implant Priya’s drive and further move Russell’s revenge plot along. After all it was love that drove Gabriel to create immortality, what will love drive Jordan to do?
Worm Number Three: Skynet? Is That You?
Some foreign line of code has managed to find a home in the Eligius ship’s hard drive. While trying to save Madi (and we’ll discuss that in a bit), they essentially crash the Flame, allowing them to remove it without the need for the passcode. While this is happening, Madi and the Dark Commander are fighting a bitter battle for control of her body. I believe that — if one isn’t paying enough attention — it’s easy to say that the reason the Dark Commander disappeared from Madi’s body is because they removed the Flame, but I’m going to hazard a guess that he — like any other virus — realized his removal was imminent and adapted to the situation, leaving Madi’s brain and uploading himself into the Eligius computers.
What does that mean for Season 7 and how will we see him return? Yana Grebenyuk (@yanawrites on Twitter — make sure to watch this space for her finale write up!) postulates that we might actually see him in two places next season! As a rub to Diyoza, who laughed at Gaia teaching Madi how to control the Flame (anyone remember what Gaia says during this scene: “A mind can’t be in two places at once”) Yana speculated that she might actually be trapped with him in the, wait for it, past! We know that the anomaly deals with time and space and we know that when Octavia went in she was gone for some time. Now it seems we have an estimate on how long. Hope is at least 20 years old when she stumbles into the tent and she and Octavia clearly know each other well. As Hope embraces Octavia, stabbing her — much as Clarke did with Finn — she tells her “He still has her” when Octavia asks about Diyoza. Hope’s appearance is very much Grounder-chic and it would also tie into why we learned about Indra seeing the Dark Commander once when she was young.
Further, with his consciousness now uploaded onto the Eligius ship there’s no limit to what the Dark Commander might be able to get up to now. Maybe this is the true beginning of Terminator’s Skynet. With all of that being said: it is rather disappointing that, even with the close of “Book One” a part of the series’ final struggle will still boil down to the Grounders. It’s been 131 years, two nuclear apocalypses, a new planet and a new cult system (the Primes) and we still can’t seem to shake them. It feels like the show should have been called “Grounders” instead of “The 100” for the amount of focus given to them and it’s disheartening. At least for me.
Worm Number Four: The Little Whipping Girl
Clarke, my poor girl. Bradbury may be Bellamy’s middle name, but hers is definitely suffering. This season we’ve watched Clarke be isolated both physically and emotionally from the people she’d once called friends. We watch her put herself out there and have a bit of fun, only to wind up almost kidnapped and taken to the Children of Gabriel. We watch her die, fight viciously inside of her own mind to survive, almost die again, be revived by Bellamy and then realize that while she was dealing with that struggle, her child was losing her own mental battle, and then we watch her lose her mother.
No one person should have to be strong enough to deal with all of that loss and yet Clarke manages it effortlessly every season. We know (thanks to Executive Producer Jason Rothenberg’s Hypable interview with Selina Wilken) that Clarke will be dealing with the grief of losing her mother as Season 7 begins. While I am grateful that she is being given the opportunity to do so, because grief is something that is so often rushed through on this show, I am also concerned about how this will affect Clarke’s issues with isolation. For six seasons now, Clarke has consistently been on the outside of the group looking in, due in large part to her status as lead, forcing her to be the character we follow around to each new location and each new group. Although Jason notes that Clarke will be perhaps even more protective of her family with her recent loss, I don’t necessarily know if the show has the chops to make that work.
It doesn’t help that her best friend (script confirmed) Bellamy now has his own issues to deal with, which leads me directly into...Worm Number Five.
Worm Number Five: We Call That….Regression?
Many of you reading this initially found me via Tumblr or Twitter or YouTube, all places where a huge part of my online persona is my love for and defense of one Bellamy Blake. He has been my favorite character from the moment he appeared on the screen in the pilot episode and I have been in his corner ever since. We’ve watched him, over the course of six seasons, mature, moving past the unhealthy relationship he’s had with Octavia since her birth resulted in both siblings carrying a weight they were too young for, growing into a man who left behind the self loathing and resentment of the past and stepped into the self love. If you’d’ve asked me yesterday what my favorite arc on The 100 is, I would have replied without hesitation “Bellamy’s character arc!”
I’m no longer sure I can do that. After the events of last season, which culminated in Octavia putting Bellamy in the pit alongside Gaia and Indra and forcing them to fight to their possible deaths, burning the farm Monty cultivated and then forcing her people into battle out of necessity, it seemed as if Bellamy was finally ready to separate from the lifelong co-dependent relationship he shared with Octavia. The Season 6 finale has appeared to effectively erase that growth in one fell swoop. Just a few episodes ago we listened as Bellamy told Octavia she was still his sister, but she could no longer be his responsibility and this episode we watched as Octavia was stabbed and misted right out of Bellamy’s arms and into the anomaly. The season ends with Bellamy calling Octavia’s name as the anomaly recedes once more.
In post-finale interviews (again see Selina’s Hypable link above) Jason is clear that finding Octavia is a huge part of Bellamy’s drive in Season 7 (going so far as to compare it to Bellamy’s desire to save Clarke in Season 6), and while I can admire, respect and even understand a brother’s desire to find a lost sibling, it’s a huge walkback (literally almost 360 degrees) on Bellamy’s arc since Season 1. What is the point of watching a show, seeing its characters evolve and grow and change and mature if, in the final season, we watch them revert back to who they were in the pilot episode? Will Clarke always be a girl who’s lost a parent abandoned on a new world? Will Bellamy always be nothing more than his sister’s keeper? Will Octavia always be hidden away somewhere? People aren’t watching television shows to see characters wind up where they began. We watch for the hope that our current situations (whatever those may be) won’t last forever. That growth can be permanent, that who we are now doesn’t have to define who we become, but as we head into Season 7, I’m not entirely convinced The 100 is aware of that.
Worm Number Six: Madi’s Mad as a Hatter...or is She?
Madi’s plot is perhaps the only one that was wrapped up (even as the Dark Commander clearly continues his nefarious deeds elsewhere) but it was done so haphazardly I was left unsatisfied. We have watched Madi deal with the Dark Commander in her head all season, we’ve watched as she’s slowly folded under his control and we watched her break when it’s revealed that Clarke is dead. It does make sense that learning Clarke is alive would bring her back. What doesn’t make sense is how swiftly that’s dealt with. It took the Dark Commander days or weeks (I’m unsure of Season 6’s timeline right now) to successfully set up a home in Madi’s brain and simply seeing Clarke threaten suicide (and also — what a message to send to...lots of people...I understand that Clarke went through a lot this season, but even with the loss of your mother, even with the potential loss of your daughter, you can still fight) was enough to snap his hold on Madi almost immediately.
It’s not realistic. I can understand the need to bring Madi back into the picture, but I think it might have played a bit better if the struggle was more prolonged, perhaps even something they needed to put her back into cryo until next season to discover. Unfortunately the choice was made, and a plot line that bit significantly into others ended with extreme prejudice in about two seconds flat.
Worm Number Seven: Make it Make Sense
(The above image is NOT edited.) The constant will they, won’t they of Bellamy and Clarke’s relationship needs to end now. Even as Jason tells fans that we (as a collective unit) all misunderstood what Bellamy’s drive was in saving Clarke (again see the Hypable interview linked above), he tells EW that "There were a few seasons in the middle of the run where we didn't know, we legitimately were on the bubble and were always trying to engineer something that could possibly be a series ender and a season ender, you know? I have for a while known thematically and like you say, in a general way, what I want the ending to be. I knew what I wanted it to feel like, I knew what I wanted it to say."
When you look back on the middle season finales (which for a seven season run would be Seasons 3-5) Jason has been crafting a very clear endgame, and that endgame is Bellamy and Clarke, together, facing their next adventure.
Season 3 ends with Bellamy and Clarke, in the Polis throne room, standing in front of Lexa's throne. They are united (literally touching), watching their people recover from the effects of ALIE, some wounded (like Jaha), others embracing the people they love (Kabby, Briller, Memori). Clarke delivers the news about the reactors melting down, that they haven't won just yet, and then Octavia kills Pike and walks away. Season 3 ends with Bellamy and Clarke — together — preparing to face their next challenge.
The Season 4 finale is a bit more ambiguous, because Bellamy and Clarke are physically separated but the notes are still there. We come into Clarke making a radio call and she is speaking to Bellamy specifically. She says "I still have hope" — that call back to the "You still have hope?/We still breathing" moment that sent the Bellarke fandom into ecstatic spirals of joy and — as a ship bursts through the atmosphere — Clarke stands, her breathing quickens, she smiles and she says "Never mind, I see you" and "I See You" (Confirmed by Tree Adams to be written for and about Bellarke), plays in the background.
Even as we watch Clarke's joy turn into apprehension when she realizes that's NOT Becca's rocket and instead says prisoner transport — if the series had ended here, in this moment — it's possible that it could have been Bellamy (and the others) walking off of the Eligius ship and in fact, that was the most common theory during the hiatus: that Bellamy and the others had joined up with the Eligius crew to combat the fuel issue, which wasn't far off. The series would have ended on the assumption that it was Bellamy walking off of that ship, reunited with Clarke and together again, facing the challenge of repopulating a barren Earth (after they dug out the bunker of course) and because we didn't have any updates on the Space Squad until Season 5 premiered, we also would have been left without the knowledge that Bellamy and Ash (aka Echo) were a thing.
Season 5 ends with Bellamy pulling Clarke into his side, both crying, both leaning on each other (with Jordan in the background) united and about to take on this journey (the discovery of a new planet) — together — again. And yes, I know a lot of people were upset about this ending because Bellamy and Ash/Echo were still a "couple", but again, I want to point you back to Jason saying that he was writing these as series finales and he knew what he wanted those finales to feel like and what he wanted them to say.
The theme of the Season 3-5 finales has always been "Bellamy and Clarke, together, facing the next adventure." and the feeling has always been that Bellamy and Clarke and their relationship to one another are the center of the story, that if the story ends here, Bellamy and Clarke are together. I'd even go so far as to say that the theme of Season 4 and Season 5's finales specifically has been about hope and renewal. The opportunity to do and be better in a "new" place.
And that’s fine and dandy. What’s not fine is when this relationship is deliberately given romantic beats, framing and lines in an effort to draw or retain an audience with no payoff. Again, people are not watching television for the never before seen plot twists. People watch television for the characters. They stay for the characters. Friends is one of the most successful shows of all time on the strength of the relationships it showcased as an example, and the same can be said for many other great shows. It’s when showrunners forget that, believing that the story they are so desperate to tell is more important than the audience who have given them the ability to tell that story, that everyone suffers. One need look no further than the recent endings of Game of Thrones and Veronica Mars for evidence of that.
Make the story clear. Make it plain. Your audience deserves that.
In conclusion, The 100 season finales work better when they are written as series finales. Given the knowledge that he would have one more season to close out the show the way he wants to, Rothenberg leaned too far into the chaos of Episode 12 (“Adjustment Protocol”) and left audiences with a bitter, unfinished taste in their mouths. With only 16 episodes left to satisfactorily wrap up all of the arcs he opened or left open this season, I’m not convinced we won’t be seeing a repeat of Game of Thrones.
April’s episode rating: 🐝.5
P.S. A Good Worm:
If you’re like me and you need something to look forward to as we enter the long hiatus before the final season of The 100, think about making your way to Conageddon! Located in Boston, Massachusetts, and this year held on April 3rd-5th, it is The 100’s only American convention and as someone who’s been before (and will be back) it’s a weekend packed with fun and friends. Tickets haven’t gone on sale just yet, but make sure you watch this space for more information, including cast information and ticket pricing!
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Singapore, living the glossy life!
In the immortal words of Boyz II Men, “we have come to the end of the road”. Final post. Sorry it’s a bit late. No, I did not die in Singapore. I made it home safely and then got too lazy to post about it. Apologies. Anyway, Singapore is amazing, Alicia is the best tour guide/host ever and I have so much to tell you...
Day 1: Bright lights and the red lights
After a 6 hour flight from Cairns to Singapore, I was thrilled to be met at the airport by my dear friend Alicia, who I grew up with in Milwaukee (Brew City baby!) and has been one of my best friends ever since. She has been living in Singapore for the past year and a half for work and was the hostess with the mostest on the Singapore leg of my journey. On a side note, the Singapore airport is a dream. Which I can not say for any other airport...in existence anywhere. A dream.
Seriously!?! This is what the airport looks like!?! Amazing.
After a much needed real sleep, in a real apartment, with a real shower, Alicia planned a fabulous day out on the town for us. One of the things that I love about Singapore is the truly international feel to it. It is awesome to be in a place where people of color are the majority. And I mean, all kinds of color. Very “We are the world” in a non- Coca-cola commercial way! We were able to explore Little India, Chinatown and Arab Street on our weekend adventure. It was like taking a world tour without needing to go through customs. Awesome.
In general, Singapore has to be one of the cleanest, safest and most impressive cities I’ve ever seen, with massive skyscrapers, high rise apartments and beautiful tropical parks. It has some of the most iconic buildings in Asia and waterfronts to match. As Alicia calls it, it is truly “Asia 101,″ with the ease of navigation and picturesque city living that makes weak-sauce American travelers feel right at home. But with a distinctly cultural feel, that keeps it interesting. This may come at the cost of what could be seen as a slightly oppressively lawful and regulatory state with clear social castes and displays of extreme wealth, but from an outsiders perspectives, it seems pretty congenial.
Chinatown
Little India, preparing for Dewali celebrations
Alicia and I started our Singaporian adventure with a stroll through a few of the ethnic neighborhoods of the city and high tea at the Flower Garden by the Bay. An amazing garden dome overlooking the famous Bay, Botanical Gardens and the iconic Marina Bay Sands (boat) hotel.
Why don’t we have high tea in America? It is the best thing ever. Fancy tea, an excuse to get dressed up, drink tea, champagne and coffee while eating adorable and delicious tiny snacks. So many little sammies and desserts. This is what it must be like to be rich and/or famous. I am going to try harder to be both in the future.
Flower Dome by the Bay
I am almost certain it is against some sort of cultural or actual law to take picture of Buddhist Monks, but they were so photo-ready, stopping to smell the flowers. I apologize to Buddhists everywhere.
Following our high tea, we strolled through the iconic Marina Bay Sands area , with the classic Singaporean skyline, the park with the incredible “supertree” sculptures and the impressive skyscrapers of the “downtown” district.
On Saturday night, Alicia arranged an awesome tour of the infamous legalized Red Light Districts in Singapore. The Geylang district. This is perplexing to me, because Singapore has A LOT of rules. Rules for all kinds of things that probably don’t even need rules. There are cameras everywhere and security guards and posted signs outlining the numerous things you are not able to do. But prostitution, totally legal...well, within a complex set of rules that is.
But not surprisingly, like most of Singapore, even the Red Light district was, totally glossy. In fact, it was one of the nicest, cleanest “skectchy” neighborhoods I have seen in a city the size of Singapore. I felt entirely safe and in fact, a little disappointed by the severe lack of seediness in the area. I would gladly sit down and have a cup of tea on any of the Red Light district’s corners.
Our tour guide, a lovely lady who calls the Gelong her home and is an advocate for the neighborhood, showed us around and introduced us to the complicated, complex and fascinated issues of the area and policies.
Alicia, me, Angela, Kathe and our amazing Gelong advocate and tour guide (center).
In classic Singapore style, they figured out that the best way to control illegal activity is to legalize and regulate the practice. There are strict regulations for brothels and an intense level of camera and police surveillance to limit the non-legal (i.e. streetwalking) activities. What does that do? Create a totally chill and clean and glossy red light district. Not to say, that the area doesn’t have it’s fair share of drugs and sexual exploitation that are problematic, but it does at the very least, give off an air of controlled chaos. And with the advent of the internet and increased policing, whatever debauchery that was once the scene, has now moved indoors, giving way to a charming and safe feeling street scene. You could probably eat off the streets here and as it turns out, some of the best restaurants in town can be found here. Fascinating.
Speaking of eating off the street. Our fun tour group stopped after the tour for a delicious authentic Chinese dinner...and for a Singaporean delicacy, Durian fruit. Durian fruit is known for its horrendous smell and odd savory and sweet flavor that to me resembles a garlic-y citrus fruit that smells like rotting flesh and is the consistency of lumpy pudding. The ladies were sure I needed to try it. So I put on a pair of protective gloves, held my nose and dived in. It tastes better than it smells, but that isn’t saying all that much. It’s not terrible, but I don’t think I would spend the $100+ price tag per Durian to eat it for funsies again. But it was ...an experience. Across Asia, although considered a prized delicacy for many, it has actually been banned from carrying on public transportation in Singapore, Thailand and Hong King due to the offensive smell. Of our group of die hard Singaporeans and longtime ex-pats, everyone was excited to have a bite, but no one wanted to have it in their refrigerator. Enough said.
Durian...it smells like it looks...disgusting.
We concluded our evening with a stroll through Alicia’s neighborhood all-night food market, called the Hawkers Center, which we hit up another day, when not full on rancid forbidden fruit.
Day 2: Rain...bringer of mud and magic
The next day brought the monsoons, or as they refer to them in Singapore, light rain. :) We headed inside to check out the National Museum of Singapore, which houses amazing art by Singaporean and other neighboring Asian country artists. Absolutely amazing. It is housed in some of the former judicial and state buildings on the island. It was extremely well done and an interesting glimpse into the marriage of formal, western art forms with the history and traditionas of Singapore melded in. Absolutely stunning.
With a break in the weather we took a break on the rooftop bar to have a “Singapore Sling” overlooking the amazing Marina Bay Sands hotel and the Durian inspired performing arts center. Everything in Singapore continues to be absolutely clean, picturesque and stunning to behold. Even if you are not into the glossy, modern skyscraper skyline, you can’t help but be overtaken by the awe-inspiring views and intentionality of the perfect skyline. (think real life Sim City!...yep, hitting you with that 90s nerd reference)
We then decided to hit up the beautiful (and free!) UNESCO world heritage site of the Singapore Botanic Gardens. It is a huge botanic park filled with amazing trees and flowers, animals, walking paths and lakes.
Alicia and I, in search of otters and turtles ventured to check out the Eco-lake on the grounds. Due to some recent drought, the water levels were low, which meant that Alicia and I were going to take advantage of this to get up close and personal with the local turtles hanging out in the mud flats. We bounded over the mud on a crash course to say hey to the turtles, when to our dismay realized that the mud was in fact, quicksand, and we immediately sinking into it, fearing our imminent doom. Ok, quicksand might be a bit of an exaggeration, but I did see my life flash before my eyes and by the time we pulled ourselves out of the mud, one of Alicia’s flipflops had become an unwanted victim to the mud.
This became the next phase of our adventure. You will not be surprised that we raised a few eyebrows, tramping through the beautiful park, completely covered in mud and with Alicia barefoot. As I mentioned, Singapore has a lot of rules and I am sure we were in violation of at least 5-10 of them. We managed to find a miracle bathroom that had some sort of foot washing/hose situation that we could clean up in. Again, not exactly the intended use, I’m sure and a bit eyebrow raising (again) for the locals, but a god-send. We did manage to locate a giftshop with a quite extensive flipflop selection (leading me to believe we were not the first victims of the “quicksand lake of flipflop death.”) We located new footwear for Alicia and headed on our dirty and merry way.
We ended our day the way we had started the previous one, checking out the neighborhoods that give Singapore such an enticing appeal. We headed to Haji Lane, which is part of the Arab district of the city for some delicious Lebanese food. Haji Lane really feels like a magical place, with colorful shops and restaurants lining the back alleys and live music and delicious smells and lively sounds. This was one of the highlights of the trip. A great place for two old friends to catch up.
Haji Lane (Arab Street neighborhood)
All in all, a magical trip to Singapore to end a magical trip. After almost 3 weeks on the road, I was both incredibly sad to leave and happy to sleep in my own bed. After getting stranded for a few hours in Seoul on the long trip taking me from Singapore to Seoul, Korea, to Las Vegas to home, I was so happy after 32 hours in transit to be back on Minneostan soil. Thanks to all of you for coming along with me on my journey and to all of you that showed me kindness and hospitality along the way.
(PS Full disclosure, basically of the photos that look half way decent from this post were Alicia’s. Thanks for investing in a phone/camera from this decade!)
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Dear Diary, Its a Doozy
So, I did some experimenting while going down these ominous stairs, and figured out if I concentrate, I can use the summon swords like one of those courtroom people with the typewriters.
Since I can also sense shenanigans imminently, I’m gonna just kinda… Mark this section off for weird recordings. And since I see dad opening doors, I’m going to guess we’re in the right place.
I’ll write D and S next to dad and I saying stuff, let’s see what dads up to now.
D “Hey pops. What’s—“
S “That lithe little… how far down did he go the mousy— Oh, hello Dante, took you long enough.”
D “Castle big. Also I like exploring, consider it a character flaw.”
S “I will. You haven’t happened to seen a demon man dressed like an Italian Renaissance scholar have you? Twinkish, surprisingly youthful looking?”
D “Did you… no not yet, I’m guessing that’s Machiavelli?”
S “And we always call Vergil the clever one.”
D “I’d wipe the grin off while you’re frustratedly opening doors”
I didn’t catch anything he muttered here, but he sure did some muttering. Also opened a door.
S "Machiavelli! It's good to see... Hey! Stop throwing things at me!" "Fifteen fucking years Sparda! And you didn't even... Who in 9 flames is that?" S "How was I supposed to know that the letter was overdue, huh? You never write down the dates and your demon found me just yesterday."
D “You sent a demon messenger to find… the legendary dark knight Sparda? Also, hi. You’d probably refer to me as his spawn, Dante.”
“Spaw—Who let you procreate?”
S “Who let you put on the fifty thousandth pair of robes in a row?”
“Touché. But Sparda so much has happened, never mind the 2000 interstitial years”
S “He just brushes right over not having seen me, no hug no nothing”
D “Where have manners gone in the fire hell, truly?”
“The KING of this HELL was KILLED ON EARTH” D “Big Guy, centaur but more animal stuff, real haughty?” “Yes?” D “Oops” “OOPS?”
S “So THAT'S what happened with Sparky. I'll miss throwing him at Mundus' issues, he was a powerful, noble soldier.”
D “He was very angry. Fun fact, your grandson kicked his ass too. It was a whole thing. He even ran away from that fight .” S “Oh look, he still drops his jaw in disbelief at things!”
I didn’t bother focusing for the yelling, but for a small guy, he sure doesn’t run out of juice fast. Cursing in Hell is also fascinating. I’m really learning some similes here.
S “So, now that he's no longer walking on these grounds and being his sparkly self, why do you STILL have this ugly self-portrait?”
“He was KING” D “So was Elvis, I still took down the poster eventually” “I’m going to design a weapon that kills Spardas and only Spardas.” S “You’ve tried. Hell, I am using one of those weapons, Bloody Palace, as my playground.”
“You… that Simulacrum trap was made specifically to destroy beings by wearing them down, what do you mean it’s a Playground?”
S “I also made some improvements. It was too easy.”
D “Speaking of, I managed Hell and Hell before we left. Barely, but I did.”
He’s just staring.
D “Pops, I think we broke him.”
S “Eh, he'll be fine by the time we return home. Next visit in 15 years, eh? This time we'll take Vergil and Nero.”
“Whom?” D “I have a brother and a nephew” S “Ones a ‘punk.’ Take a guess which.” D “the other one at this stage just has a free pass in and out of Hell it seems. Real revolving door situation.” “Dante can I see Pandora? I’d like to just close it around my head” S “oh come on it’s not that bad” “There are. Four. Of you.” S: “Please, it's not that bad. And it's technically five of us if you count V”
D “this last Qliphoth thing was Vergil” “Your. Your son ate of the Qliphoth?” S “Prides not the word I’m looking for, but I do have to give the act itself credit.” D “And, then I kicked his ass. And Mundus’” “Y.. y-you what?”
I won’t lie to you, I ripped like four pages out here. I lost focus a bunch a times while retelling my life story, mostly getting distracted to do back-flips and use DSD against Pops and his cane to explain some of the fight sequences. Long story short, when I finished, Machy gave us a,
“I’m going to pass out now, don’t touch my things.” And then fainted.
We proceeded to move everything 15cm to the right. Now that I think about it, I don’t think we even remained consistent on
right. So it goes. Either way, we eventually woke him up, and got back to talking over something that appeared to be some kind of coffee, but named something with letters that had no business being next to each other.
“Wait go back for a moment, if you please. Mundus did what?”
D “Created like 5 demon types, a few of which are still walkin’ around. ” “And you say you know where he is?” S “ye—yeah? Maki don’t tell me you’re—” “Shut up and hand me Pandora so I can pack I need to have words.”
D “Wanna meet Agnus too? He figured out how to make artificial demons AND turn humans into demons”
“867” D “what?” “868” S “Oh not this again” D “What?” “869” S “He’s adding to Pandora in his head. In particular, probably new ways to take us and Mundy out.” “870” D “how long has he been counting?” “I dropped the 13 from the start of the number. That long, child.”
S "Oh please, we all know you love me. And I love you too, you beautiful flower, the stars above can't even match the light you're radiating with your charming eyes" D “hey, red’s my color scheme... Wait. It’s literally just flirt? That’s it? That’s all it takes for you to—Suddenly a lot of the crap I’ve heard about you, Pops, makes absolute sense. And also a lotta crap about me now that I think of it.” S "I'm only wondering how Vergil can't flirt like that without choking himself to death."
“I understand how he feels…”
S “Let's see how much flirting he can stand before fainting, it’s been awhile.”
D “Shouldn't you know already, he’s your ancient friend.”
S “It's been 50 years since I visited him last, so who knows.”
“Stop talking as if I'm not here.”
S “Oh, there's no possible way to ignore you, darling. Even roses red nor bluest sky can compare to your beauty.” “Shut up, you’re not getting out of this just with compliments”
D “Have I mentioned how wonderful your crafts are?”
“Hellfire bane upon you both, I recognize those eyes”
Both: “Oh?”
“Argosax strike me down where I stand…”
D “Really, Machy. Artemis served me wonderfully for years, and then Vergil managed to turn it an extraordinary demon suit. It was extraordinary, powerful, pleasing to the eye.”
S “Funny how many of those apply to You, isn’t it Mac—and he’s out”
D “Good hustle on that last one, I was about to go a similar way.”
S “And that’s why I’m the Legendary Dark Knight, Son, not you.”
At this stage I punched him, and we moved stuff one more centimeter in random directions, and put Machiavelli in bed. I didn’t bother focusing for this, since I was doing other things.
Look, I’m good, I’m not THAT good. Okay, I can be that good, but it’s so much hassle, jump off.
It feels right to wrap this up, since We’ve been in Hell awhile, and I’m getting finally hungry in SDT for the first time, which might lead to questions I don’t want answered being asked. Also, time absolutely flies when you’re telling a life story.
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How to Calm Down an Excited Puppy
https://www.centralparkpaws.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/Why-is-my-puppy-hyper-overexcited-rambunctious-ball-of-energy-causes.jpg I love puppies!
I love their little puppy tummies, their soft little paws, even their puppy breath.
I could watch puppies play and tumble for hours and never get bored. I think that puppies are one of life’s greatest joys, but also one of life’s greatest challenges!
When Daisy was a puppy, she was tiny and cute and one heck of a ball of energy!
Being that I had taught several puppy classes and obedience classes, I was under the misguided impression that I was all set to take on this challenge.
I couldn’t have been more wrong!
I used to walk Daisy four times a day, and that wasn’t enough to calm her down.
Eventually, I was able to get her into daycare, which was an amazing transformation. Though she was still energetic, it took off quite a bit of the excess energy.
Raising an extremely high energy headstrong puppy alone was both an eye-opening and humbling experience.
It didn’t take long for me to realize I had my work cut out for me.
Ultimately, if your puppy has too much energy, they will be fluffy balls of terror that chew, bark, and bite.
Why Is My Puppy so Hyper?
There are a few common reasons a puppy might be hyper:
Breed
Lack of exercise
Lack of mental stimulation
Overstimulation by distractions
Some breeds are more hyper than other breeds.
For example, a Jack Russell terrier is likely to be more energetic than a Newfoundland puppy.
Though, the breed of dog is not a rule, but instead more of a guide.
My family’s first Golden Retriever, Gracie, was a calm, easy to train puppy whereas my mom’s second Golden, Gussie, was a wild and crazy ball of energy.
If your puppy is crated during the day when you are at work, it is normal for your puppy to have a lot of energy to burn off when you get home.
Likely, your puppy will have been sleeping all day in your absence, so now that they are rested, they are all set to party!
Bored puppies are not that much different than bored children. They tend to find their own way to entertain themselves, which usually leads to them getting themselves into trouble.
Capacitors almost at full charge. Hyperactivity imminent!
Also, if your puppy has too much stimulation, say kids running in and out or you have company over, puppies will often feed off the fun energy and become over stimulated, which can look like a hyper puppy.
All puppies have their hyper moments and we need to help them find ways to burn off that excess energy in more productive and less destructive ways.
How to Calm Down a Hyper Puppy
First and foremost, you need to make sure your puppy is getting enough exercise.
If you have a puppy that has not had a way to release some of that puppy energy it is near impossible to work with them constructively.
Exercise
The amount of exercise a puppy is getting or not getting impacts your dog’s level of energy.
Exercising puppies is a complicated task. Not enough exercise and your puppy is a demon, and too much exercise can cause significant health issues.
There aren’t any set rules or formulas for how much exercise a puppy requires.
The breed is a significant factor in deciding the amount and type of exercise your puppy should get.
Larger dogs may seem like they can go for long walks, but too much exercise has been linked with orthopedic disease[1]. Short, low impact exercise sessions are the best.
Also, keep the exercise fun and change it up from time to time to avoid boredom.
Some great ways to exercise puppies are:
Walks (Mix it up by going to different areas, making time to allow your puppy to explore and smell things they encounter on the walk)
Fetch
Swimming (Take this slow; not all dogs like the water or know how to swim)
As your puppy grows, the exercise sessions can become longer and fewer.
Also, as they become bigger and stronger, you can change the type of exercise by adding things like agility training or running.
Mental stimulation
Don’t let your puppy’s silly manner fool you into thinking that they don’t require mental stimulation.
Mental stimulation is essential to your puppy’s mental development.
The breed of dog impacts the amount of mental stimulation a puppy needs.
Breeds like Border Collies, German Shepherds, and Dobermans require more mental stimulation than other breeds.
But just like exercise, all dogs need some form of mental stimulation to keep their brains engaged.
Bored puppies can get themselves into a lot of trouble, but mental stimulation like training can help drain excess energy and help promote calm behaviors[2].
Here are some excellent ways to keep your puppy’s mind sharp:
Training
Both classroom and in-home training are effective ways to keep your puppy’s brain working.
Puzzle Toys
These toys involve your dog finding a way to access food.
Also, many puzzle toys take some time, which will give you a few minutes to get things done.
Hide and Seek
A simple and fun game that will provide exercise and mental stimulation.
Ask someone to hold or distract your puppy while you go and hide nearby.
Call your puppy randomly (like a game of Marco Polo) to keep them focused.
When the puppy finds you be sure to shower them with happy praise, but do not jump out and scare your puppy.
Remember to start with easy hiding places. This will keep your puppy from losing interest.
As your puppy catches onto the game you can hide further away from their starting point and in more challenging locations.
Find It
This is similar to hide and seek, but instead of you, they find an object or treat.
Again, start out easy.
Show them the object, place a blanket over it in front of them, then say find it.
Gradually you can increase the difficulty of where you hide the object, just make sure that is always somewhere they can reach; you don’t want to teach bad behaviors like jumping on tables.
Settle
Another way to help your puppy to settle down is to teach the “settle” command.
Yes, you can train a puppy to chill out on command!
Settle is extremely helpful when you have a high stimulation situation, such as when someone comes to the door or you have guests, but it can also be used out in public to get your dog to rest calmly on restaurant patios and such.
Settle Training Necessities
To train settle, you will need:
Clicker – These will mark the behavior you want from your puppy.
Recommendation: NewNewStar Pet Training Clicker
Small High-Value Training Treats – Soft treats work best since they are easy for puppies to consume quickly.
Recommendations: Cloud Star Tricky Trainers, Blue Buffalo Wilderness Trail Treats, or Buckley Trainers
Treat Tote – Helps to keep your clothes clean and makes it easy to access treats.
Recommendation: Chuckit! Treat Tote
Bed or Mat – You can use a towel, rug, or bed.
Patience and a Quiet Area – Puppies get distracted easily, so the quieter an area is, the better chance of success you will have
How to Train Settle
First, if you have never used a clicker for training you will need to “load” the clicker.
You do this by clicking the clicker then immediately give your dog a treat. You will repeat this twenty times in a row.
Be sure that you are not clicking directly into your puppy’s ear. This is supposed to be positive and will teach your puppy that when they hear the noise, they will receive a treat.
Second, place the mat or bed on the floor.
When your puppy walks over onto the mat, even with one paw, click and toss the treat nearby, but not on the mat.
When your puppy comes back to the mat you will repeat this.
Do not put words to this.
Do not cue your puppy to go to the mat; just sit next to it and wait quietly.
Puppies tend to learn faster when they are able to figure it out for themselves.
Do not provide praise outside of the treat. This is a calming technique and the stimulus of your touch or voice can set your puppy into an excited mindset.
Eventually, once your puppy is consistent about coming to the mat, wait to treat until they are completely on the mat.
Then, progress to when they are laying on the mat.
When your puppy is reliably going to the mat and laying down, you can add the vocal command “settle.”
You can say “good settle” after you click and treat.
Once your puppy goes to the mat and lays down, slowly lengthen the time in between when you give treats.
Stimulation Removal
Sometimes puppies are overly stimulated and skip taking naps; this combination is a sure recipe for a demon puppy.
Imagine a child with too much sugar, but without a nap.
Essentially, puppies can get that way also.
Often, removing the puppy to a quiet area can help bring your puppy’s energy down.
You can put them in their crate with a filled Kong in a quiet room; this will help your puppy settle down.
Tips for Calming Down a Puppy
Stay calm. Your excitement will feed your puppy’s excitement.
Quiet, dark rooms can help reduce stimulus and aid your puppy in relaxing.
Make sure your puppy is getting enough exercise. Remember, a tired puppy is a well behaved puppy.
There will always be times your puppy will act silly and crazy, and that’s okay some of the time.
But a puppy left in an excited state of mind for too long can cause issues for the puppy as they develop socially and emotionally[3].
Remember, patience is key.
New puppies can be overwhelming to dog parents; it’s not that much different than bringing home a baby.
There will be a lack of sleep, a lot of messes to clean up, and a lot of crying, but with patience and positive training any challenge can be overcome.
Puppies don’t stay puppies for long, so enjoy this time while you have it.
FAQs
How Do You Calm a Puppy Down at Night?
Proper exercise, full tummy, empty bladder, and a quiet, dark room with the family nearby will help calm a peppy at night.
Often puppies are separated from their family at bedtime which can be a little scary for them, so if possible, move the crate to your bedroom.
This will make your puppy feel safe and relaxed.
When (At What Age) Do Puppies Calm Down?
It varies from dog to dog, but most dogs tend to calm down between 18 – 24 months of age.
Resources
https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/health/puppies-how-much-exercise/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24568110
https://pethelpful.com/dogs/Understanding-Sensory-Overstumulation-in-Dogs
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