#first actual persona 2 post…

[hana-mural]

suou posting

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Me: Now I know I made an FeMC/Maya car crash tweet before I made this........where was it. oh there it is:

I have mighty need to see EP!Maya just sweating bullets while P3MCs do not clear up the misunderstanding klfjasdkfLKjdlakjfsdafj

[eddsworldstuck]

"hey Joker, how's it going? with writing or just, anything."

i blacked out and wrote some of two different chapters for two different acts

[saintobio]

blank canvas. (3)

in an attempt to rekindle an already fractured relationship, you open your eyes to the harsh reality that some things, once broken, can no longer be repaired.

pairings. ryōmen sukuna, fem!reader

genre. florist x tattoo artist au, mild angst, opposites attract

tags/warnings. strong language, degradation, explicit smut, toxic relationship

notes. 8.3k wc. here’s the last part !! although there will still be an epilogue, which will be posted a few days from now (let’s not jinx it lol). but thank you for supporting this three-part fic :’) feedback and reblogs are most appreciated!

part 2 | epilogue

He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me not. 

Sighing, you stood behind the counter of your floral shop, absentmindedly picking on the rose petals like an infatuated teenager. It was almost ridiculous what you were doing out of boredom. And although the sweet scent of the flowers surrounding you were supposed to feel calming, it did little to lift the terrible weight on your chest. 

Two weeks had passed since you had given your virginity to Satoru. Two weeks since you tried to move on from Sukuna.

Others might say you were too irrational with it. Others might say you did the right thing. But honestly, what was so good about having sex with a guy you barely knew when you spent years refusing to do it with your actual boyfriend? 

Yes, you were definitely, undeniably irrational with it. You realized it all too late after you had already given your virginity to another guy. You weren’t even sure what compelled you to ask Satoru to do it with you, but at the time, it felt right. It felt reasonable that you were trying to get over an ex-boyfriend, out of spite, for not setting boundaries with other women while you were still together. You thought it would be fair to play a similar part in this tragic tale, that it wouldn’t be too bad not to set boundaries with other men who showed attraction to you, too. 

After all, Sukuna had countless women constantly latching onto him, while Satoru was the first guy within your past relationship who developed an interest in you. 

Besides, it wasn’t some kind of fairytale scene when you two slept together. Because to Satoru, it was nothing but a casual encounter. He did his best to make sure that you enjoyed it from finish to end, and you appreciated his sincerity in guiding you throughout, yet you couldn’t deny to yourself that all you had been thinking of at the time was Sukuna. You contrasted everything Satoru did with Sukuna—like how Satoru was slow and sensual, while Sukuna was rough and vulgar. Satoru enjoyed cuddling afterward, whereas Sukuna would likely go straight to sleep. Satoru was too clingy and playful, while Sukuna was more reserved and mature.

The worst part was, your heart still preferred one over the other. And it wasn’t the guy with the white hair and blue eyes. 

Satoru was a good guy, and he had genuine intentions, but after being intimate with someone you weren’t in love with, you understood that your potential relationship would never be as good as your previous one. You longed for a man like Sukuna, because despite his typical bad boy persona, he was anything but boring. Being with him was a thrill, and no matter how toxic it was, you were addicted to him.

And that’s wrong. Your lips curled into a frown. 

You glanced out the window for what felt like the hundredth time that day, your eyes drawn across the street to Sukuna’s tattoo shop. The neon sign that once buzzed with life now hung dark and lifeless. Every now and then, you could see some of his old clients passing by the shop, hoping for a chance that their favorite tattoo artist was back in business. But Sukuna still hadn’t reopened the shop in days, for almost a month now as a matter of fact, and his absence filled you with a gnawing sense of worry and longing. 

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, while that was certainly true, it also drove you crazy. Why hasn’t he opened his shop? you wondered, biting your lip. Did he move out? Did he forget about me entirely?

You turned back to your flowers, but your hands stilled as your thoughts consumed you. What would Sukuna think if he knew someone else had taken your virginity? The thought made your stomach twist. You could already hear his voice telling you that you had given yourself to someone else out of desperation, but it clearly didn’t work. If anything, it only made you miss him even more.

Your fingers traced the petals of a rose as memories flooded your mind. The way Sukuna used to look at you, his intense eyes softening just for you. The way his laugh would rumble through his chest when you said something funny. You missed him. You missed everything about him, even the way he could infuriate you with his arrogance.

A sigh escaped your lips as you placed the finished bouquet in a vase. The floral shop was quiet today, save for the distant hum of traffic outside. The city would be busy again during rush hour, but for now, you leaned against the counter, your gaze drifting back to the tattoo shop across. He’s probably with his ex, you thought, feeling a lump form in your throat. Yet you couldn’t help but wonder if he still thought about you. Did he miss me too? Or had he moved on completely?

You pressed your hand to your heart. You wanted to be with him. You wanted to tell him how much you missed him, how much you regretted trying to move on so quickly, how much you wished you didn’t break up with him. You had no backbone when it came to Sukuna. But the fear of rejection, the fear that he no longer cared, kept you rooted in place.

Pushing yourself off the counter, you walked to the front door and flipped the sign to “Closed.” It was best to close off early today. You needed a moment to yourself, a moment to clear your head in the safety of your bedroom. But as you locked the door, you couldn’t stop yourself from stealing one last glance at Sukuna’s shop. The light flickered at first, making you wonder whether you had just imagined it, but then your heart skipped a beat when you saw the lights completely turning on inside.

Your pulse quickened, and you found yourself drawn to the sight. If it was him in there, maybe this was your chance to talk and clear the air. Or maybe, it wouldn’t be wrong to simply check on him since he had been away for almost a month. What if something terrible had happened to him during those past weeks? What if he had gotten sick? With hesitant steps, you eventually crossed the street and approached his shop. There, you could see him through the window as you got closer, shirtless and his rib wrapped in a bandage, clearly covering a fresh new tattoo. In seeing your presence, he looked up, but his eyes passed over you as if you weren’t even there.

You knocked lightly on the glass door, and he glanced up again, but his expression remained indifferent, like he was trying to suppress his emotions. He didn’t move to open the door as you expected. In fact, he seemed to be arguing with himself in his head.

“Hey,” you started, your voice trembling slightly. “Can we talk?”

Sukuna didn’t respond right away when he wiped his hands on a rag, still not meeting your eyes. Your heart ached from the heavy silence, but before you could say anything more, the sound of a car engine broke the stillness of that scene. 

An expensive McLaren car pulled up to the curb, and you were quick to recognize its owner. 

It was Satoru rolling down his window, a bright smile on his face as he looked at you. His beam was almost blinding, distracting you from the presently awkward situation you had placed yourself in.

“Y/N,” he greeted cheerfully, completely oblivious to the tension. “Did you miss me?”

Oh, Jesus. 

The words hung in the air like a bomb, and you felt the color drain from your face as you thought of how dangerous this situation would be for you. When you saw Sukuna’s eyes flicker with interest, his posture stiffened as he finally paid attention, and you realized it was too late. Way too late. 

“Is that guy bothering you?” Sukuna finally asked, his voice unusually calm as he approached the door. The closer the proximity, the more your heart started to race. It was running at 250 km/h like it was on track. 

Satoru’s smile then faltered, now sensing the shift in the atmosphere. It was his first time meeting Sukuna, and based on the stories you had shared with him and Suguru, he was smart enough to recognize that the tattooed man was your ex. 

“I got what you asked for.” Satoru ignored Sukuna and looked back at you, holding up a small bag. “Birth control, right?”

Never in your life did you want to disappear like a puff of smoke. The sudden turn of events was so wild and unexpected. You could see that Satoru was enjoying provoking your ex-boyfriend, but the whole exchange was making you feel nauseous. The tension was so overwhelming that you couldn’t speak, or move, or do anything at all. You were simply frozen. 

It was also at that time when Sukuna’s eyes narrowed, his gaze moving between you and Satoru. The pieces began to click into place, and a dark realization settled over his features. “You slept with him?” he asked, his voice low and accusatory.

“Sukuna, I…” Your breath caught in your throat because you couldn’t find the damn words to respond. Should you deny it? Should you say it wasn’t anything like that? There was no way you could get out of this situation even if you wanted to. 

But Satoru stepped out of his car in your defense. “It’s none of your business what she does—”

“Shut up, you douchebag,” Sukuna snapped, his glare turning deadly. He looked at you with sharp eyes, ones filled with a mixture of hurt and fury. With the way he was glaring, you knew he was murdering you in his head. “So this is how you move on?”

Your eyes stung from the incoming tears. You wanted to explain, to tell him that you only did it out of spite, but the words just wouldn’t come. You knew it was still wrong and that it would be a huge slap to his face hearing that you had hooked up with someone else before him. You hadn’t even confirmed anything, yet the intensity of Sukuna’s gaze already made you feel like you were suffocating. 

As the two men stood there, locked in a silent standoff, you recognized it as the loudest silence you had experienced in your life. That was, until Satoru broke that silence by reaching for your hand. “Let’s go,” he said gently, guiding you towards his car.

You hesitated for a moment, your eyes lingering on Sukuna, but the look of betrayal on his face was too much to bear. It was either you turn away and leave him behind or you stay there and explain to him. 

Unfortunately, you didn’t have the courage to do the latter. 

— —

The roar of Sukuna’s bike echoed through the night, slicing through the darkness as he raced down the highway like a motorcycle racer on a professional track. His mind was a whirl of thoughts, jealousy and rage fueling his every movement. With every thought of you, his knuckles felt cold. 

Look, he wasn’t planning to pursue you after you left with that guy, but his ego just wouldn’t allow it. After piecing the situation together, something inside him just snapped. Like a timebomb. A very dangerous one. He couldn’t control his emotions, and he couldn’t just let you go like that. Damn it. Almost two years of forcing him into celibacy, and you suddenly threw yourself at a guy you just met?

He revved his motorbike, scoffing bitterly behind his helmet. He was riding recklessly, without a care to the other vehicles he almost crashed into. Fuck. He had spent nearly a month sulking over your pathetic breakup, he had tried his hardest to avoid you, when all this time, you were out there offering your virginity to some random trust fund-looking guy. How ridiculous was that? How utterly, goddamn ridiculous was it? Maybe you had just revealed your true colors right there. You had always felt uncertain about Sukuna because he had nothing but a tattoo shop and a decent motorbike. Now, you’ve met the picture-perfect guy your parents always wanted for you, so you found it easy to spread your legs open and allow some other guy’s dick inside.

You were worse than a whore. 

The wind whipped against his bare chest, but he paid no mind to the cold. He didn’t care anymore. Even if the police were to chase after him, he didn’t fucking care. His focus was on the red taillights of your new guy’s McLaren car ahead of him. Sukuna pushed the throttle, his bike accelerating with a ferocious growl, causing a scene along the highway. 

He mapped the situation in his head. Who was faster in this highway chase; the McLaren or his bike? While the McLaren 720 had a higher top speed, Sukuna’s Yamaha YZF-R1 was highly agile and could be more maneuverable in tight spaces. In a straight-line chase, the McLaren would eventually outpace his bike, but in scenarios involving a lot of maneuvering, he could have an advantage.

Too bad for you and your new guy though, since this highway was Sukuna’s domain. His superbike had already passed through the tightest of spaces in the midst of traffic during rush hour, so he was a clear winner here. 

And in saying that, the distance between you closed rapidly, and soon he was right behind the car, the bike’s engine roaring like a beast unleashed. With a piercing screech of tires, Sukuna maneuvered his bike alongside Satoru’s car, forcing him to pull over by kicking the driver’s side door. The car drifted and screeched to a halt on the shoulder of the highway, and Sukuna followed suit, cutting the engine and dismounting in one fluid motion. His precious bike, now discarded on the floor, all for the sake of confronting the woman he thought had loved him. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Satoru demanded, stepping out of the car with a confident swing. He tried to look tough by using their height differences against him, but he wasn’t intimidating to Sukuna at all. 

“Get out, Y/N,” Sukuna ordered, his voice dangerously low as he ignored Satoru and the countless cars honking behind them. His eyes were locked on the passenger side where you sat, your expression an amalgam of fear and hesitation. “I said get the fuck out!” 

“Dude, chill out.” Satoru tried to put a hand on his shoulder, only to have his hand swiftly rebuffed. “I’m not letting her go with a man who’s clearly upset.”

“Stay the fuck outta this,” Sukuna growled, his fists clenched at his sides. The white-haired punk should take that as a warning. He should back out before his fist lands on his precious face. Plastic surgery isn’t cheap nowadays. “Y/N, if you don’t wanna cause a scene, I suggest you get the fuck outta there.”

**

Your chest rose and fell as you looked between the two men. You knew Sukuna well enough to understand that he wasn’t going to back down. And with a line of angry cars honking at the unnecessary traffic jam you were causing, you had no other choice but to open the door and step out.

Satoru's first instinct was to gesture for you to stay back. “Y/N—”

“Satoru, it’s okay,” you said softly. “I need to talk to him.”

The white-haired man hesitated at first, clearly worried for your safety, but with your insistence, he eventually nodded and stepped back to give you space. Sukuna’s eyes burned with intensity as he watched that interaction between you two.

“‘Kuna, can we at least pull over on the side and not talk in the middle of the highway?” you practically begged, your voice trembling as a few cars managed to squeeze their way between the McLaren and the YZF-R1, throwing harsh curse words towards you and your ex-boyfriend for the road blockage you had caused. Sukuna didn’t even flinch. All you could see was the anger in his eyes, and the pain lurking just beneath his irises.

“I’m perfectly fine talking here,” was Sukuna’s reply, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Tell me why you’re with that douche. I think you owe me a damn good explanation, angel.”

You swallowed hard, your throat tightening. You just wanted to get this conversation over with. “W-We broke up. It shouldn’t matter to you anymore.”

Beep. Beep. “Get off the road, you idiots! You’re holding everyone up!”

Beep. Beep. “Who do you think you are, blocking traffic like this?”

“Is that so?” Sukuna scoffed, taking a step closer as he cornered you. “You moved on pretty quickly, didn’t you?”

You flinched at his tone, but you knew you had to tell him the truth. You knew you would not be able to escape this situation if you didn’t admit it sooner or later. “Something did happen between me and Satoru,” you finally confessed, feeling uneasy from the lingering eyes of the heated drivers. “I didn’t plan it, it was just…”

Beep. Beep. “This is a highway, not a soap opera set!”

Beep. Beep. “Take your drama somewhere else!”

Sukuna’s eyes were clouded in disgust, the color of his lenses becoming red from the fire of his fury. “So you really gave it to him?!” he demanded, his voice rising. He looked like he could punch someone at this rate. “After everything we had, you gave yourself to someone else?!”

Beep. Beep. “Learn to drive and pull over if you want to argue!”

You could feel your entire body shaking, but you tried to hold your ground. “I-I thought it was the right thing to do. I thought it would help me forget about you.”

“Forget about me?” Sukuna’s laugh was harsh, almost maniacal, because he was truly losing his shit. “You think you can forget about me by sleeping with some random guy?” He took another step closer, his presence far more overwhelming than the rest of the vehicle surrounding you. “You’re nothing to me now,” he snarled at your face, the reality of his words cutting through your heart like a knife. “You’re just another girl who threw herself away.”

Tears spilled over as you watched him turn his back on you, preparing to mount his bike again. “And what about you, Sukuna?” you challenged, despite his obvious departure. “Do you think you’re any better? You act as if you wouldn’t have cheated on me if I hadn’t confronted you about it!”

For a moment, Sukuna was silent, his anger and pain warring within him. Then he shook his head, his expression hardening as he pulled down the visor of his helmet. “But I never cheated,” he said that fact coldly, “So, don’t expect me to stick around and pick up the pieces. You’re just somebody’s leftover now.”

He turned away, the finality of his words hanging in the air to wreck you in half. As soon as he sped up the bike, he vanished into the highway, accelerating from 0 to 60 mph in 2 seconds. The roar of his bike was louder than a thunderstorm. He didn’t even care for his own safety. And as you watched him go, you could feel the rain pouring out with your heart breaking all over again, like a vase cracking against the floor, its pieces forever irreparable. 

His words hurt more than his actions ever did. And you were never one to handle it as good as you thought you would be.

— —

“I’m not trying to be biased here or anything,” Choso said, lighting his cigarette as he leaned against his Harley Davidson bike. “But even if you weren’t my step-bro, I still think you did the right thing. I wouldn’t be able to stomach hearing my ex-girlfriend be fucked by some dude after years of not giving it to me.”

Sukuna crouched next to his R1, the polished bike gleaming under the fluorescent lights of the garage. He had his shirt lay discarded nearby, leaving his toned torso exposed as he worked on changing oil. Sweat mixed with grease smudged across his chest and arms, emphasizing the taut muscles and the intricate tattoos that covered his skin. If he had women here, they would have fainted already. The sight of him sweaty and shirtless while working on his bike would have been an eye candy for them, but he didn’t need to think of that now. He merely focused on moving his hands deftly, loosening bolts and draining the old oil into a container. The methodical process offered him a momentary distraction from the chaos in his mind.

“It’s simple,” Sukuna spoke, pausing to wipe his forehead with the back of his hand and inadvertently spreading more grease, “The albino guy looks rich. She just proved to me she’s nowhere near being a good girl when a rich guy’s involved.” 

The memory of his ex-girlfriend as she was picked up by another man replayed in his head. He couldn’t stop imagining how your first night went on. Did you let him fuck you raw? Did you let him hit you from the back? Did you let him cum inside? Did you go for round two? Did you choke on his cock like a good girl? 

He remembered what your naked body looked like. How soft your breasts felt like. How sweet your pussy tasted like. Now, another man had a taste of it, and he couldn’t be any more disgusted. It was sickening to think that another man’s cock got to feel you inside before he did. And that you willingly allowed it. 

“Fuck that,” he muttered to himself, tightening the new oil filter. His eyes narrowed in concentration, but his mind drifted back to the breakup. He’d always prided himself on being in control, on not letting himself be caught in temptation. But you had pushed his buttons too far, and even though he still never betrayed you, he was sick in the stomach to see that you were the first one who did. 

“Women,” Choso agreed, grinning as he shook his head. “If she wasn’t Yuki’s friend, I would’ve cut her off.” 

The wrench slipped from Sukuna's hand, leaving it to clatter to the ground. He cursed under his breath, bending down to retrieve it, his movements were fluid and graceful despite the tension in his body. “You don’t need to cut her off. It’s between me and her. She still treated you like a brother.”

The younger man raked his fingers through his raven hair, checking himself out on the bike’s mirror. “Nah. She was closer to Yuuji than me, anyway.” 

Sukuna stood up, wiped his hands on a rag, and poured fresh oil into the engine. The task was almost done, but his thoughts remained tangled. Seeing you with someone else couldn’t stop igniting a fire in him, a possessive rage he couldn’t quite shake. He missed the way you two were before, the way you couldn't get enough of each other when you were together. He missed the connection you shared, because it was something he hadn’t felt with anyone else.

Finishing the oil change, he straightened up, staring at his reflection in the bike’s mirror. The man looking back at him seemed foreign, his usual arrogance tempered by a vulnerability he didn’t care to acknowledge. He then ran a hand through his hair, smearing more grease, and sighed.

“Maybe it’s time to go back to the old times,” Sukuna spoke his thoughts out loud, with his step-brother merely staring at him. “I’m single now.” 

With a final glance at the bike, Sukuna grabbed his shirt and slipped it on, the fabric sticking to his damp skin. He needed a ride to clear his head, to feel the rush of the wind against his face. As he swung a leg over the R1, threw his helmet on, and revved the engine, the powerful roar echoed through the space, drowning out his thoughts for a moment.

“Be careful out there!” was Choso’s last reminder.

He sped off, the world blurring around him, but no matter how fast he went, he couldn’t escape the image of your face or the sting of jealousy that burned in his chest. His mind was clouded with thoughts of you, and your face haunted him at every turn. 

As he rode, his anger simmered, his frustration building with each passing moment. The pain of betrayal gnawed at him, further fueling his reckless impulses. You’re such a piece of shit. All this time, you were claiming to be this too good of a girl who was as innocent as a bunny. When, as a matter of fact, you and your new boy toy were fucking each other like rabbits. It was funny, really, how you made him wait two years for nothing. He was your boyfriend, and yet you deprived him of sexual pleasure by pretending you were scared of it. What kind of stupid virgin would throw herself to a random guy when she’s scared to lose her virginity to her own boyfriend? 

Such bullshit. With a growl of frustration, Sukuna veered off course, his bike skidding to a stop in front of a familiar building. The apartment loomed before him as a dark silhouette against the night sky. It had been several weeks since he had seen her, but tonight, he didn’t care.

His fists clenched at his sides as he marched up the steps to her door. His heart pounded in his chest, a mixture of anger and desperation swirling inside him. He was going crazy and he wanted to blow off steam. He wanted to let his frustration out, so he banged on the door, the sound of his fist colliding with the wood echoing through the quiet street.

After a moment, the door swung open, and a stunned Yorozu stood before him, bleary-eyed and disheveled. Surprise flickered across her face as she took in his appearance, his eyes burning with intensity.

“Ryo… What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice tinged with uncertainty. The last time they spoke, he was very vocal about having a girlfriend and wanting to keep things professional. 

Sukuna, this time around, didn’t bother with pleasantries. “I need you.”

Yorozu’s eyes widened in surprise. “But you—”

“Please, Yorozu.” He pressed a hand against the door, cornering her in between. “I really, really need you right now.” 

She wasn’t naive. She understood his implication, and he had certainly conveyed that he was no longer with you. And without hesitation, she stepped aside, allowing him to enter without a word. Sukuna felt a rush of adrenaline as soon as he was inside her place, his mind consumed by the need to forget, if only for a moment.

The door closed behind him, and in the darkness of the apartment, Sukuna grabbed Yorozu’s face and kissed her lips, drowning her in the heat of passion. Things were a blur after that, because he wasn’t thinking clearly. Because he wasn’t in his proper mind. He was letting his rage cloud his thoughts, his bitterness driving his every movement. The next thing he knew, they were stumbling into her room, unable to break their intense kiss. He had kissed her like there was no tomorrow, like her mouth was suction that he couldn’t escape. 

And soon enough, she was naked in her room, knelt before him as he forced his cock inside her mouth. He couldn’t get a sense of time. He couldn’t even tell if it was already midnight. All he knew was that his next few hours were spent with Yorozu, this time around, with him burying his digits in and out of her soaking pussy. 

“Haaah!” She arched her back as an intense wave of pleasure hit her insides. “R-Ryo!” 

Fuck. Fuck it. Sukuna, without warning, put his cock inside her cunt. And her fucked her with rage, jostled her body like a sex doll, while her eyes rolled backwards in overwhelming satisfaction. She was grinning in absolute ecstasy, her breasts bouncing wildly as he continued to hit her sensitive spot before he leaned forward to suck her perfectly round breast. 

Listen, he blacked out after that. So, if you were to ask him what happened after that session with Yorozu, he wouldn’t be able to answer you because he genuinely passed out from exhaustion. All he remembered was them fucking each other’s daylights out, and the next morning, she took good care of him like she was his girlfriend again. 

No, she wasn’t. 

In fact, Sukuna was labeled an asshole for ghosting her. He didn’t contact her after that night, nor did he have any further encounter with her. Instead, he went back to his old life way before you. An addict, an alcoholic, a womanizer. 

For the next few months, that became his life without you. 

He slept with different girls every few nights, especially his clients. It got to a point where he couldn’t even recall their names, and he couldn’t remember having brought them to his apartment the night prior, because he was often too high off his mind. Every girl who came to his tattoo shop for an appointment became his companion during the night. And today, one of those girls was among the many who annoyed him afterward.

“Hey,” the girl spoke in a lascivious manner, running her slender fingers through his hair. He wasn’t sure if her name was Rina or Kiko. “You slept throughout the afternoon. Do you wanna go grab something to eat?” 

Sukuna groaned, covering his head with a duvet. “Why are you still here?” 

He didn’t need to see her face to know that confusion settled her delicate features. “But I thought we were…” 

“Leave,” was his harsh reply. “You’re just a one-night stand to me.” 

— —

“So, Y/N,” Suguru began with a playful twinkle in his eye. “Why haven’t you made Satoru yours yet?” 

You rolled your eyes at Getou’s antics. He was clearly on it with his best friend, and their goal today seemed to be to tease the heck out of you. “Maybe I like to keep him guessing,” you retorted with a smirk, though your mind was far from the playful banter. 

“But there’s nothing to guess!” Satoru, on the other hand, protested. He was even displaying a childish pout. “We’ve seen each other naked, you know—”

Before he could finish his sentence, you swiftly covered his mouth with your hand, earning a cackle from Suguru in return. Thank goodness there weren’t that many people in the cafe today, because you were never safe around those two. They were inseparable, like two peas in a pod, sharing one brain cell. Like yin yang.

“Shut up,” you merely replied. 

“Baby, don’t be shy,” Satoru teased again, giggling like an immature child together with Suguru. “You’re an adult who did adult things.” 

You sighed, wondering if you would ever get a break from these idiots. “This is exactly why I don’t date you.” 

It was a joke, of course. The delivery, however, was a bit dry. But nonetheless, your statement caused Suguru to laugh at his best friend who, in his defense, tried to recover his trampled ego by denying your statement. 

“She’s lying,” Satoru denied, as if convincing Suguru was his top priority, “You never told me your cousin’s hard-to-get.” 

 “Yeah,” agreed Suguru, playfully, “Definitely hard-to-get. The only girl who can make Sukuna pussy-less for two years.”

“Hey!” It was Yuki who intervened, knowing full well that Getou was below the belt on that joke. “Enough of that.”

In truth, you felt it was a touchy subject for you. Anything related to Sukuna, especially that aspect of your past relationship, was something you avoided like a plague. You wanted no mentions of him, and of what he did, and of what you didn’t do. He had simply become that person who can’t be named, like Voldemort. 

But the thing was, it was unavoidable sometimes. You weren’t mad at Suguru for bringing him up. You knew that him and Satoru, ever mischievous, were just playfully ribbing at you, but you couldn’t muster up the same enthusiasm to banter back. You were just upset because hearing Sukuna’s name reminded you of the very reason why you hadn’t been in the happiest mood today.

If it wasn’t obvious to them, your mind had been elsewhere since this morning, too fixated on the influx of girls you noticed had been frequently visiting Sukuna’s tattoo shop lately. You knew you didn’t have the right to feel jealous anymore, you knew you should no longer care about what he does with his life, but you couldn’t shake off the nagging feeling that something was off.

And Yuki, sensing your distraction, gently pulled you to the side for a private conversation away from the chatter of your friends. 

“Hey, Y/N. Everything okay?” Yuki asked, her tone soft and understanding. She wasn’t forcing you to open up, rather, she was allowing you to share only what you wanted to. 

You did hesitate for a moment before finding it safe to confide in her. “I just can’t stop thinking about him. And those girls at his shop... I don’t know, it’s just been bothering me."

Yuki listened attentively, her expression empathetic. “Y/N, I know this might be hard to hear, but have you considered that Sukuna might be seeing other people?”

Your heart sank at Yuki’s words. You had entertained the thought before, but hearing it from someone else made it feel more real. “Is… Is he?” 

“Well, not exactly,” she admitted reluctantly. “But Choso told me he’s been sleeping around.” Yuki then placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, anticipating your heartbreak from the news she delivered. And she was right. In just a few words, it felt like someone had stabbed you with a knife on the chest. “I'm sorry, Y/N. I agree, you deserve someone who respects and cherishes you. If Sukuna isn’t that person, then maybe it’s time to let go.”

You forced a nod, feeling a mix of sadness and regret wash over you, but you didn’t want to break down in front of Yuki. You definitely didn’t want to cry with Satoru and Suguru around. You knew deep down that Yuki was right, but accepting it was just another matter entirely and you weren’t sure if you were prepared for it.

“Listen, why don’t we go out?” she offered, a smile of encouragement spreading on her peachy lips, “Let’s have a drink or something. Anything just to keep your mind off of him. What do you say?” 

— —

It was a mistake. 

You fidgeted uncomfortably on the barstool, feeling out of place amidst the pulsating music and the raucous laughter that filled the rooftop bar. Yuki, Getou, and Gojou seemed to be thoroughly enjoying themselves, chatting animatedly over their drinks like it was a scene that they were used to. But for you, this environment was foreign territory. You weren’t accustomed to the loudness, the crowdedness, the palpable energy that thrummed through the air. Heck, you didn’t even drink alcohol. You couldn’t stand the taste nor could you see the benefit of drinking. 

But you didn’t want to be a party pooper. Yuki did you a favor here, and it was for you to get your mind off the man who kept torturing your soul over and over. If you were to leave now, it would just beat Yuki’s purpose of tagging you along. 

You were supposed to enjoy it. You were supposed to have fun, dancing with them, singing along to the music. They weren’t even the type of music Sukuna listened to. 

“Y/N, bottoms up!” You weren’t sure if it was Satoru or Suguru who said that, but they both offered you a small glass of vodka, urging you to drink it in one shot. 

As much as you wanted to, you had to refuse, speaking over the loud music. “I’m good, thank you.” 

And as you scanned the room, your eyes inadvertently locked onto a figure across the bar. 

Amidst the throng of people. 

The one person you wanted to avoid. 

Sukuna. 

He stood out effortlessly in the crowd, exuding an aura of confidence and charisma that drew your gaze like a moth to a flame. You couldn’t believe it. No, you just couldn’t believe it. You could be hallucinating because it would be too much of a coincidence for him to be here. 

But as soon as his eyes met yours, you knew he wasn’t just a figure of your imagination. Deep in your heart, you knew it was him. You couldn’t be mistaken when those eyes, those lips, those goddamn tattoos, were all him.

Though, as you two locked gaze, his expression told a different story. They were a jumble of surprise, guilt, and bitterness. He seemed just as startled to see you as you were to see him. But beneath it all, there was an undeniable tension, a silent acknowledgment of unfinished business between you.

No, you can’t walk away from me. Excusing yourself quietly, you slipped away from the table, unnoticed by your friends, and made your way through the crowd of people towards him. He was already walking away at that point, ready to avoid your presence as if seeing you was torture for him. But didn’t he know? You were too stubborn for your own good. You relentlessly followed him, squeezing in between a drunken crowd, realizing that Sukuna was heading down. 

In the abandoned part of the building’s parking lot, you finally caught up to him, your heart pounding in your chest as you faced him. 

“‘Kuna,” you called out, “Please.” 

Sukuna turned to face you, his expression unreadable as he regarded you with dark, intense eyes. “Hey,” he replied coolly, his voice a low rumble in the night air as he walked closer to his bike.

“You’re not supposed to ride when you’re drunk,” you began. 

To which he sneered at. “Why? You think I’m here to offer you a ride back home, angel?” 

Aggravating as ever. He was still that arrogant bastard you knew, and loved. “No, you’re probably doing that to someone else.” 

“Why don’t you go back to your filthy rich boyfriend?” 

“Are you jealous?” you bit back, now feeling a palpable tension transpiring between you, but you tried not to let it stop you from speaking to him. “Whatever happened to me and Satoru was just one time.” 

Sukuna scoffed at your statement. “I didn’t ask, angel.” 

Truthfully, he was the most frustrating man in the world right now. And dealing with him was definitely the hardest job ever, but your purpose of running after him wasn’t to bicker. All you wanted was to confirm something that had been bothering you. So you took a deep breath, steeling yourself for what was to come. “Have you been sleeping around?” 

His expression remained stoic, his gaze meeting yours with a hint of defiance. “Are you jealous?” he mocked, returning the same question back to you. “So what if I am?” 

You couldn’t tell what overcame you more; was it the pain or the anger? But surely, a hundred percent, your frustration was definitely boiling over. “So you are,” you huffed, “See, that wasn’t so hard to admit, isn’t it? This is what you’ve always wanted to do! To sleep with those girls!” 

For a moment, silence hung heavy between you, the tension was crackling in the air like electricity. Then, without warning, Sukuna closed the distance between you, his hand reaching out to grab your jaw.

“You don’t get to turn this back around on me,” he spat, swallowing the obvious pain in his voice, “You’re the one who started it all.”  

Your breath was caught in your throat as you felt the heat of his body so close to yours, his touch igniting an altogether new fire within you. Despite the anger building inside your heart, you couldn’t deny the pull you felt towards him, the magnetic attraction that seemed to draw you together like two black holes ready to destroy one another. 

“I fucking waited for you,” he continued, his voice now deepening in a more sincere tone, “I know I was wrong for not setting boundaries, but I never, not once, cheated on you. I never fucking did! But you couldn’t trust me, right? You couldn’t fuckin’ trust me.” His pupils dilated as he raised his voice. “You’re so caught up in being too goddamn insecure about yourself when all I wanted was to have intimacy with you—”

“All you wanted was sex, just admit that!” you yelled back, jerking his hand away as tears began to fill your eyes. “And maybe I was right for giving my first to someone else, because you don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve it when you’ve always pressured me into giving it to you.”

Sukuna’s laughter filled the air, a disbelieving chuckle that bordered on frustration. He threw his head back, running a hand through his hair in exasperation. Without hesitation, he snatched his helmet and hurled it across the floor, the sound of impact startling you.

“I never fucking pressured you!” His voice was raw with emotion as he walked back towards you, frustration and hurt evident in every step. “You’re the only girl I genuinely respected. You think I enjoyed being celibate for two fucking years?! No, the fuck, I didn’t! But I waited. I waited because I didn't want you to feel forced! It was all in your fucking head, Y/N. Your doubts, your uncertainties about me. I’m a man too, damn it! Of course, it frustrated me, but that doesn’t mean I would ever leave you or cheat on you.” And just when you thought it was over, he spoke again, his words now silencing into a painful tone, his eyes shining from the tears blanketing his gaze, “Did you think you were the only one who was insecure? Every damn day, Y/N, I was scared you were gonna leave me. That you were gonna find some other guy, someone who could give you everything you want—a big house, a nice car, a successful life. I didn’t have all that. And it kills me every single day knowing that that’s exactly the type of guy you went after the moment we broke up.” 

Silence stretched between you, heavy and suffocating, as Sukuna’s words replayed in your mind like a broken record. You couldn’t bring yourself to respond, couldn’t find the words to refute his accusations. Because deep down, you knew he had a point. Your doubts, your insecurities—they had clouded your judgment, poisoned your perception of Sukuna. And now, faced with his raw honesty, you couldn’t deny the truth in his words.

But accepting that truth was a bitter pill to swallow. It meant acknowledging your own flaws, your own role in the breakdown of your relationship. And it meant coming to terms with the fact that maybe, just maybe, you had let your fears drive you to push away the person who had truly cared for you.

As Sukuna stood before you, frustration and hurt etched into every line of his face, you felt a pang of regret twist in your chest. You wanted to reach out, to apologize, to admit that you had your wrongs, too. But no words came out, choked by the weight of your own self-doubt.

“I…” you struggled to respond. It was a battle you weren’t ready to fight, so your only option was to run away. To turn away like a coward, and to flee the agonizing reality of your relationship. 

But Sukuna didn’t let you. Instead, he closed the remaining space between you, his lips crashing down on yours in a hungry, desperate kiss.

In that moment, all thoughts of anger and confrontation melted away as you surrendered to the intoxicating allure of Sukuna’s touch. Lost in the heat of the moment, lost in a puddle of strong emotions. You fell deeper into the trap of your undeniable sexual tension, your bodies becoming entwined in a passionate embrace in the empty parking lot. 

His lips were soft against yours, his tongue rolling in the opposite motion as you kissed him deeper. More, more. He was hungry for more. And so were you. 

So when he kissed your neck, you allowed it. 

When he squeezed your breast, you allowed it. 

When he raised your skirt, you allowed it. 

You released a moan into his mouth as he sat you on top of his motorbike, standing in between your legs as he reattached his lips back to yours. Your mouths enveloped each other perfectly. The bittersweet taste of his tongue, now moving south down your neck. 

“Sukuna…” 

While his mouth was busy doing its own work, his hands too were occupied in touching areas he had once explored. One hand travelled to your thigh, squeezing your flesh before he reached your crotch. Two fingers touched your underwear, as if he was checking if you were wet, before he pushed them onto the side to set your cunt free. 

You ended up wrapping your arms around his neck, a gasp escaping your lips as his fingers played with your entrance. Your clit, your sensitive bud, also wasn’t ignored when he began moving his fingers in a circular motion. 

“Mmmh!” 

What was going through his head? You knew he was aroused, but why did his gaze look so dark? It was too grim, to the point where it scared you. But you were far too distracted when his other hand went to grab a hold of your tit, squeezing your mound, and kneading the soft skin. He had pulled down your neckline to release your tits in the air, quickly attaching his mouth onto one breast as soon as they were out in the open. 

“Haaah!” 

You were going crazy, both from the fingers that were entering your cunt, and the mouth that was sucking your tit. You had your back arched into a C, your arms grabbing onto his shoulder as he became more and more aggressive with his touch. 

And you weren’t exaggerating when you said he was being more aggressive with it, because when he pulled himself away from you, it only lasted for a few seconds before he grabbed your waist and twisted your body around. In a blink of an eye, he had you position against his motorbike, with your body leaning against the seat and your ass high enough for his crotch. 

“S-Sukuna, s-someone might walk in—”

He had pulled your underwear down, letting it stay in between your knees, before rubbing your pussy from behind. His breath was warm when he whispered into your ear, “Don’t act like you hate it.” 

He wasn’t wrong with that either. Because while he was touching your entrance, testing if the tip of his cock would smoothly glide in, you became an animal in heat, ready to be devoured by him. You had to cover your mouth, forcing yourself to keep your voice down as he finally buried his cock six inches deep inside of you. 

“A-Aah!” your body jerked forward as Sukuna rawdogged you from behind. “S-Sukuna, aah!”

“You’re such a fucking slut,” he cussed under his breath, feeling a painful stretch on your scalp as he pulled your hair, “Did he fuck you this good?” 

“Mmh—no!” 

The sound of skin-slapping was reverberating across the empty lot.

“Did you let him cum inside?”

“N-No…!”

He was insatiable. He couldn’t get enough of the tightness of your cunt. He, too, was moaning from the feeling of your velvet walls milking his cock like a warm glove. So he continued to thrust inside you, his hands on your hips, keeping you steady as he rammed his cock inside faster, and harder, and deeper. 

Your buttocks were becoming too sore, the stretch of skin on your bum vibrating in waves every time he hit you balls deep inside.

And while you were a moaning hot mess below him, a realization suddenly hit you in the face like a truck. Throughout your relationship, this was all he had ever wanted to do with you. He had always talked about doing it slowly, in a romantic set up with candles lit and petals around, in a place where you can lay yourself comfortably. You dreamed of him whispering I love you’s into your mouth as you two made love. You fantasized about him lovingly looking into your eyes as he reached his high. You used to picture him out, intertwining his hands with yours as he tells you you’re the most beautiful girl in the world.

Yet now, you were doing it in the basement parking lot. In a dark, dirty place. Bent over against the uncomfortable seat of his bike. 

And more importantly, he was treating you like a whore. 

Tears welled up your eyes as you felt Sukuna pull out after finishing. For a minute, he gathered himself together, his head pressed against your nape as he sighed. 

“It’s not working, Y/N,” he mumbled against your skin, voicing the exact words you were afraid to hear.

“I know…” You sniffed, pulling the strap of your dress back up and adjusting your skirt back down.

He didn’t need to say anything more. When he gave you one last kiss on the forehead and wrapped you in his jacket, you understood the full weight of his words. It wasn’t just about this moment; it was about everything that had led you here. 

It didn’t work because you had already shattered your perceptions of each other. Both tarnished the way you saw one another. He would never come to terms with the fact that you gave yourself to another guy, just as you could never accept that he had slept with the same girls you had always warned him about. It would only lead to a constant game of back-and-forths, of pointing fingers, of toxic love.

So you watched him mount his bike, rev the engine, and look at you one last time before speeding away. His figure disappeared into the dark like a shadow, like a dream you only once knew. 

That was the last time you ever saw Ryomen Sukuna in your lifetime.

[jinxvex]

heyy! if u take requests i was wondering if you would make an enemy sevika x reader, where they treat each other like shit until sevika has enough and fucks the shit out of reader 💪😊

♱ enemy. (enemy!sevika x reader) ♱

enemies to lovers is lowkey my fave trope so, let’s go!!

also sorry i haven’t posted! finals week… 🫠😓

cw: nsfw, kink city LOL!! sevika is v rough + punishes reader, possessiveness, BDSM elements, BREEDING KINK (oops), name-calling (slut, whore, bitch, etc), degradation/praise, cursing, arguing, a tiny bit angsty, spanking, she slaps your cunt once, choking, hair-pulling, doggy position, she eats you out!! it's sweet towards the end dw!

there's def more but OOP-

wc: 4.2K! (oops)

sevika hates you.

1. she hates the way your hips sway when you walk.

she’s definitely ALWAYS looking at your ass.

2. she hates how you talk and how you giggle under your breath when you laugh at something you shouldn’t. your voice sounds like music, like wind chimes in the spring that cause her vision to blur.

3. she hates the way your skin glows in the sunlight.

4. she hates how you dress and style your hair. you stand out. you personally customize your clothing, adding your own detailing on platform boots, jeans, jewelry, belts, accessories, tops, and jackets. your uniqueness annoys her beyond belief.

“what a fuckin’ show-off! this isn’t a fashion show,” she mutters under her breath to get a rise out of you.

5. she hates the way you talk back to her, even when she starts an argument first.

“well maybe you could learn something, you wear the same shit like… every day,” you respond briskly, already sick of her berating you as you’ve just walked through the doors of silco’s office.

she’s older than you, you should show some respect! you act so high and mighty like nobody can crack that tough persona you put on to protect yourself from the dark and dangerous streets of zaun.

she scoffs. her thumb and index finger pinching the bridge of her nose to alleviate the stress you’ve subjected her to. she cannot believe this.

“see? this… child is so incompetent! fuckin’ impossible to work with! she’s probably late to this meeting because she’s too busy playing dress up to actually do her job.” she directs towards you although not looking at you, opting to look at the tall chair covering silco’s body as she sits in the chair across from his.

silco sighs, clearly annoyed at both of your antics. he swivels around in his chair to face you both.

“actually, she was doing something i assigned her to. last minute, but she always gets the job done.”

sevika’s eyes flicker to you, and you smirk at her assumption that you were accidentally late.

she scoffs again and drags her grey-ish eyes back to silco as she leans to the left, almost trying to get away from you standing at her right with your arms crossed.

“you see… you two are my best. i cannot afford to have you both acting like children when doing business. it could threaten everything i’ve—we’ve built. one wrong move could tarnish this.”

you and sevika stay quiet as you avoid eye contact with each other, you taking a newfound interest in the bookshelf as sevika’s eyes burn holes into the ground. you knew deep down that silco was right.

“it's time you’ve both gotten along, for all of our sakes. don’t disappoint me again.”

…

you haven’t seen sevika since silco’s ‘lecture’ he gave you two a couple of days ago.

it's evening in zaun, streets and bars filling with people as the night threatens to begin.

you sat on the couch in the living room of your tiny yet, surprisingly homey apartment. your legs resting on the coffee table and you busy munching on cheap snacks, reflecting on the conversation that took place not too long ago. you were livid.

i mean, what else more did he want from you!

sevika was impossible. you tried to get along with her in the beginning but no matter what, she hated you!

she constantly finds new ways to poke fun at you, belittle you, and insult your intelligence. she obviously thinks you aren’t worthy of being a part of silco’s inner circle and that offends you.

and yes, she’s incredibly hot, but all of that was overshadowed the moment she decided you were a piece of gum on her boot!

you sigh incredulously, “damn… i need a drink.”

…

a few minutes later, you’re walking into the last drop and making a beeline for the bar.

as you sit down, your hands graze the edges of the countertop and you close your eyes briefly to let out a breath you’ve held in your throat for…

who knows how long?

that garners the attention of thieram, the kind bartender whom you’d had polite conversation with in the past. you’d taken quite a liking to his kind personality in the past.

“what would you like tonight, miss?” he smiles at you.

as you rummage through your mind for something to order, there isn’t much.

you aren’t a big drinker so it was hard to decipher what was good and what wasn’t because you simply don’t know.

“she’ll have the whiskey, best you've got.” you hear a gruff voice come from behind you. you hear the person’s rough steps come to a stop beside you and they sit.

“ugh.” you scoff out loud and roll your eyes dramatically as you avoid looking in her direction to your right.

sevika.

“coming right up…” thieram, not even wanting to know, swiftly walks off to make your drink.

“what do you want?!” you huff out in annoyance as you finally bring your head up to make eye contact with her.

“nothin’… just enjoying you strugglin’ to order. jus’ was painful to watch, doll.”

your eyebrows raise as your mouth opens and closes, you not exactly knowing how to respond. especially to "doll".

although her tone indicates that she was merely joking, you retaliate against her anyway for the way she’s treated you in the past.

“i- you know what?! if you’ve just come to gloat and make me feel like an idiot just go right ahead and fuck off!” you state. causing a vein to pop out of your forehead and your left eye to twitch in pure anger.

“i’m not in the mood for your shit” you restate your previous point.

“y’know? you’re such a pain in my ass. always bitching and complaining about everything, always in the way, you’re unbelievable.”

you pause your movements, surprised at the lengths she’s going to make you feel terrible.

“i think you look weak.” she finishes, smirking as your eyes threaten to spill with tears out of rage.

“you’re such. a. fucking. bitch.” you emphasize the b in the word bitch as you leap off your chair and stomp out of the bar, trudging back to the comfort of your own home.

thieram walks back over to the side of the bar you were just at and his face scrunches in confusion.

“uh… where’d she go?” he questions as he raises his hands, one hand occupied with your drink.

sevika is still sitting with her mech hand pressing into a tight fist on the counter and her human hand tightly squeezing the bridge of her nose.

she makes up her mind as she stands up and makes her way to your apartment, already having memorized where you lay your head at night.

tonight, you’ll learn respect. obedience.

…

you’ve just made it back to your apartment and you’re slamming the door shut. as you pace back and forth from your kitchen to your living room you’re met with complete and utter silence that taunts you.

“how do i let her get to me? every. single. time.” you’re thinking, mentally cursing yourself for being so stupid. for letting her see you upset.

you hear a loud knock at the door and you pause all moments, as you make your way to answer it, your thoughts race with ideas of who may be at your doorstep at this time of night.

you open the door and you’re met with none other than the sight of sevika. both of her hands clench into fists at her sides as she gazes at you darkly.

it’s almost eerie, her silence. you sense something in her demeanor that is different than usual. it feels… scary.

you both say nothing as she pushes her way into your home, back turned to you as she stops in her tracks.

“wha- what the fuck? g-get out!” you scream out.

her head cocks over her shoulder, one eye looking back at you in a silent warning.

you slowly back up against the door as she turns her full body around to corner you against it. her stare pierces deep into your soul, you feel as though a knife has been jabbed into your gut.

sevika is a scary woman. you know you stand no chance against her strength. that frightens you slightly but you hold your head up high and maintain eye contact with her to stand your ground.

her hands are placed on either side of your head, pressing into the rough, wooden texture of the door. you hear the wood creaking when she leans in, nose brushing against yours. the silence is deafening.

"hmm..." she cocks her head to the right, still looking deep into your irises.

"sevika, l-let me go. what are you doing?!" you try to reason with her but she is unwavering as she takes her mech hand and trails it dangerously slowly up your body from your thigh to your bare stomach, then your arms.

it lands on your neck and wraps around it loosely as a scare tactic. it works as your eyes widen and your shaky hands come up to move the machine off you.

your legs start to weaken and your eyebrows furrow as your underwear pools with your desire.

"so fuckin' pathetic, you are..." she growls, tightening around your neck, not too tight. but tight enough to where your breath hitches in your throat and you're slightly gasping for air.

"y'know, was gonna try and get along with you tonight, doll."

the pet name makes the wetness in your panties become unbearable.

she continues, "ordered you a drink, cracked a joke 'n everything..."

"but, you're a brat to your core, aren't you? should make you apologize..."

an idea pops into your head, another way to disrespect her. you ponder in your head about how you shouldn't. against your better judgment, you say it anyway.

"make me, then,” your eyes flicker down to her lips.

her cocky expression falters slightly—her eyes threatening to look down at yours as well. and if looks could kill, you would die instantly.

"show me your fuckin' bedroom. now."

you're then peeling yourself off of the door. she takes her hand off your neck and backs up to let you pass. you drag your feet, walking slowly to irritate her further. she doesn't like that one bit.

you feel a hand brush the back of your head and she's harshly pulling you up against her chest by your hair. you feel her warm breath tickling your ear, getting ready to humiliate you even more.

"f-fuck! ow!" you yelp out in pain.

"nuh-uh. hurry the fuck up. move." she whispers into your ear.

sevika lets you go, roughly pushing your head forward to emphasize her point. you decide not to push her as you speed up.

as you enter your room, you let out a shaky breath, scared yet excited about the events about to take place. you're not facing her when you hear your bedroom door slam shut. you stop dead in your tracks.

"what-uhm, what's gonna happen?" you question.

you gasp out in surprise as she spins you around to face her and pushes you onto the bed. your ass rests on the edge of it and you're sitting up straight. sevika towers over you, way taller than usual. she looks like she could devour you as she's undressing you with her eyes.

"gonna hurt you, sweetheart. gonna punish you for being such a mean little brat." she smushes your cheeks together with one hand, causing your saliva to pool from your mouth and wet your lips.

"should've done this ages ago... maybe you'd be better behaved by now."

"p-please. i-'m sorry."

it kills you inside, that you secretly love this. you secretly love the idea of her touching you. punishing you, hurting you until you’re utterly ruined.

you’ve dreamt about this moment in light of all the arguments, yelling, and fighting.

in one swift movement, she stands you back up and takes your place on the bed looking up at you hungrily.

“bend over my knee,” she demands.

you feign disgust, and fear, “wh-what?! n-no i-”

“lay the fuck down, and bend over my knee before i spank your ass raw.”

you obey. she scoots back further on your bed so you can maneuver your way to lay your stomach across her thighs. your upper body and legs rest on the bed as your ass is slightly positioned in the air.

you can’t see her face, but you know sevika’s smirking as she’s finally got you where she wants you.

she coos at you, tugging slightly at the loose shorts you threw on after you got home from the bar, “look at you in these little fuckin’ shorts, so slutty.”

she slides her hand up your outer thigh, moving closer to your ass.

all of a sudden, she pauses her movements.

she leans down, her mouth next to your ear, “we can stop at any time. jus’ let me know, doll.”

your heart clenches at her words, feeling the intense emotion behind them and now knowing deep down that she doesn’t want to actually hurt you.

it turns you on even more.

“want it vika, p-please.”

she lets out a sound that’s of a groan and a growl, “fuck yeah, baby. gonna punish you—gonna make it hurt,”

“gonna take it? gonna be a good girl for me?”

“ye-yes! yes!”

sevika hooks the fingers of her human and mechanical hand under the waist of your shorts and roughly tugs them to the floor.

“fuck… no panties too? my god,” she admires you.

you say nothing as her hand finds its way back to moving up your thigh and finally grips your ass, kneading the plush flesh.

“gonna actually do anything or?…” you get cocky, too impatient to feel her hands on you.

a loud ‘SMACK!’ sounds throughout the ambient space of your bedroom, the pain searing into the skin of your right asscheek, making you scream out into the bedspread.

“fuckin’ brat, like i said.”

you’re met with another ‘SMACK!’ in the same spot. you scream out again except this time, it sounds a hell of a lot more like a moan.

“can’t believe you’re gettin’ off to this. bein' my little painslut…”

she hits you again, “you like when i hurt you? don’t you, baby?”

“yes!” you’re repeating, face still smushed into the blankets.

“what was that?” she presses further as she tangles her hand into your hair and yanks it upwards.

“f-fuck! yes, yes!”

she spanks you again and again, alternating between each cheek until you’re sobbing.

although she hadn’t spanked you more than 15 times, you felt as though it was 10 times that much.

she’s soon rubbing a soothing hand over the expanse of your ass, attempting to calm the ache in your ass while neglecting the one in your cunt.

“my girl. did so good for me, baby. so, so good.”

she sits you up and props you up next to her. you wince as your ass meets the surface of your bed.

“we’re not done. gonna make this pussy feel so good, i’ve been neglecting her haven’t i?”

“mhm…touch me please.” you’re out of it, eyes lazily gazing into hers.

“suppose i should reward you?”

her hands caress the sides of your neck and she captures your lips in a gentle and passionate kiss.

as her lips meet yours, the world is silent, all you can think of is sevika.

the kiss soon turns sloppier, needier. your tongues clash against one another causing saliva to drip down both of your chins.

it’s disgusting really, the definition of swapping spit.

neither of you seems to care though. you both moan through the kisses, gripping at each other.

she breaks the kiss to tear your shirt off your body.

“such pretty tits… so beautiful.”

you lean in and peck her lips, “want you bad, vika. please just fuck me already,” you beg.

“you’re beggin’ me?”

“yeah,” you respond.

“fuckin’ beggin’ me, huh?”

“fuck yeah, baby,” you respond another time, your bedroom eyes never leaving hers.

this back-and-forth dirty talk makes the both of you so wet, that the need between you increases with each exchange.

“you don’t even realize how much of a whore you sound like when you say that shit, baby."

oh, you know.

“i love it,” she doubles back.

“gonna eat you first, get you ready for my cock.”

you pause.

‘she didn’t… did she?!’ you exclaim in your head, incredibly surprised she brought an entire strap-on to your house.

“mm… back the fuck up, lean up against the headboard.”

you do as she says, spreading your legs for her in the process.

“good fuckin’ girl.”

she kisses down your neck, stomach, and thighs—her mouth now dangerously close to your naked cunt.

“perfect pussy… so pretty and wet.” she blows cold air on it, admiring the way you clench as she does so.

she laughs out loud, “you’re clenching around nothing, baby… you need this dick in you.”

you don’t even notice you’re looking up at the ceiling, you then look down at her between your thighs—you notice her pants are pulled off. her mech hand is gripping her black plastic cock through her boy shorts.

it’s huge. you’re not sure if it can even fit inside you and that makes you crave it more.

you moan at the sight, “mhm! yes! need it in my pussy. wanna cum on it.” you manage out. your brain is mush!

“soon,” she promises.

she suddenly delves into your pussy, tongue experimentally licking around your folds, then your hole, and your clit.

you’re on cloud 9. your cunt twitches with need because you can feel every detail of her mouth dragging along your heat.

your moans are uncontrollable as she’s practically making out with your cunt, her spit drips onto your clean bed as she’s sloppily eating your pussy out.

she’s nasty with it, spitting on it, getting it dripping wet for you to take her.

“fuck! please!! gonna cum!” you yell out.

all of a sudden, you’re met with cold air. and your cunt is met with a thought to be forgotten ‘SMACK!’

you yelp out in pain and pleasure, the mix too overwhelming for your poor pussy to handle.

“you cum when i fuckin’ tell you to. ask me if you can come next time.”

“‘m sorry vika! promise i won't do it a-again.”

“yeah, yeah. turn around.”

you whine at the loss of her mouth on you; it just feels so good. but you listen anyway.

you’re in doggy facing the headband with your back slightly arched as you look back at her behind you.

she lifts her shirt over her head; she has nothing on underneath, giving you a full view of her sculpted abs. you graze them with your fingertips, amazed at how beautiful she is.

“beautiful, gorgeous…” you state to her and your eyes meet hers once again, showing her you mean what you’re saying.

she huffs out in…shyness? she looks down at the bedspread below you two and she tugs down her boy shorts, throwing them next to all of the other clothes that are splayed out on the floor.

“gonna put it inside, alright? gonna make you feel it.”

you look forward and your eyes trace the design of your headboard, anticipating her cock pushing inside of you, anticipating the delicious pain.

she eventually does push the toy inside of you, bottoming out quickly.

she gives you a moment to adjust. you both are breathing heavily and your nimble fingers grip at the sheets, mouth forming into the shape of an o because she’s so fucking deep.

one of her hands comes up to force your face into the pillows. she starts to move her hips slowly.

“fuuuuck, doll. arch that back,” she can feel the slow grind of your hips on her clit as you press back into her and arch slightly.

it’s not enough for her. she presses her other hand into the small of your back to truly get it so she’s as deep as she possibly can go in this position.

“oh my f-fucking god!” you’re moaning into the pillows, still as loud as if you were screaming.

she’s sped up now, her plastic cock digging into you swiftly yet deliberately.

“yeah…arch that shit, gimme that pussy, baby.”

“fuck, fuck, fuck,” you’re still moaning into the pillow. you can feel every ridge, every detail of her.

your pussy twitches with need, your slick dripping down your thighs, cunt squelching and eyes rolling to the back of your head because of the rough way she’s handling you.

“can feel you around me, i swear. you’re so tight, baby, s-shit…”

she’s bullying your cunt relentlessly and her dirty talk is making you so unbelievably wet.

“you love this dick, don’t you? you love when i fuck this pussy, huh?”

“yes, vika! yes! just like that! love it!”

“say you’re sorry. say you’re sorry for being such a bratty little bitch.”

“hmmph!” you defy her, for fun perhaps.

she slows down tremendously compared to the pace she set before, giving you shallow thrusts to match your attitude.

“say you’re fuckin’ sorry or I’ll make sure this pussy never cums again. you’re only cumming from me, so you’ll do what the fuck i say.”

whew.

“c’mon, baby say you’re sorry so i can give you this dick. gonna make you cream on it so good if you just let go,”

she continues, “i know you want it… know you want it in your guts. know you want my cum in you," she's delirious.

gripping your hip with her free hand and your hair with the other, she lifts your head out of the pillow so she can hear you better.

you cave.

“i’m sorry, i’m so so sorry, baby. i promise i’ll be good! pleeease just fuck me! need you. need your cum…”

she leans down and kisses the small of your back, “see, now how hard was that?!”

she moves her hips at a faster pace than before, seemingly deeper as well. your face has found its way back down, voice muffled into the sheets.

“yeah, baby, take this shit—take it aaaaalll in this fuckin’ pussy. pussy’s so good for me.”

“oh f-fuck, ‘s so deep!” you look back at her once again. her teeth are biting into her bottom lip, hips snapping against your ass as she stares down at you wildly, watching the toy disappear inside of you.

you then meet her eyes, completely cockdrunk. you beg her again, “please v-vika… need your cum in my pussy. need you to knock me up.”

“give it to me, give me your cum! want it deep in me, wan’ it!”

she growls out, “f-fuck shit’s gonna make me cum.”

“fuckin’ pussy is sucking me in, gonna make me get you pregnant, baby,”

her hips are still pistoning into you, the room filling with sloppy wet noises and smacking skin.

“i’m b-begging you to let me cum, p-please!” you’re still looking into her eyes, kindly asking her for permission to soak her faux dick.

“who’s fucking you then? say my name, doll.”

“you, sevika! you!! you’re the only one,”

“fuck yeah, you whore. ‘m the only one that’s gonna be in this shit from now on. that’s right…”

“plea-”

“cum. i want you to cum on this cock, make it yours. cum all over it,” she’s thrusting against your g-spot as deep as she can with one of her legs on the bed and her hands on your hips. you have no choice but to just, take it.

her words cause the coil in your tummy to snap, your orgasm crashing down on you like a brick to your head. like if a large rock were to crush you and kill you instantly. it’s rough, it’s overwhelming.

“fuck!!” you scream through it.

“i’m cummin’ too!! not gonna pull out. i’m gonna put a baby in you, get you nice and full,”

“mhm!! yes!”

the combination of you urging her on and the pressure of her hips and your ass fucking back onto them causes her movements to stutter, “s-shit!”

her orgasm washes over her much like yours, both her hands on your hips making it easier for her cock to kiss your cervix and for her clit to feel it.

you both eventually come down from your highs. sevika pulls out of you and quickly yanks the toy off.

you’re still in the same position so she presses down on your back to get you to rest your body on the comfortable and soft surface of your bed. you’re expecting her to tug her clothes back on and leave, but she doesn’t.

she praises you for the rest of the night, rubs aloe gel on your ass to soothe the welts, and loves on you as if she’d never hated you in the first place.

“you did so good, baby.”

“i’m so proud of you, you’re amazing.”

“you’re so pretty… you’re mine now.”

…

needless to say… she’s ruined you for everyone else. your petty rivalry long forgotten and replaced with the feelings that you’ve both been hiding. and as you’re both waltzing into silco’s office for a second meeting, he’s hoping for but not expecting for there to be a change in your relationship.

he is stunned when he’s met with no more eye rolls, scoffs, and bickering.

‘wonder what’s gotten into the two of them…’ he wonders.

well, something has definitely gotten into you.

…

I AM SO SORRY I HAVEN’T POSTED!! finals are over so i am free from the shackles of college! (for now…)

hope you guys like it! tbh this took me forever because i couldn’t figure out the plot LMFAKOW😭😭

[caramelmochacrow]

ACTUALLY NVM IM NOT BE REVUE STARLIGHTING RN IM GONNA BE PLAYING PERSONA 2 W MY SISTER BC WE GOT TOO CURIOUS I MIGHT REWATCH THE FIRST EPISODE TOMORROW AND PROPERLY SINK MY TEETH INTO IT CAUSE WE'RE ABT TO FIGHT THE JOKER/GET TUTORIALED

[uyuforu]

Boda by Signs, Houses, Degrees

Boda (1487) is an asteroid discovered in 1938 by Karl Willhelm Reinmuth in Germany. It was named this way after Karl Boda. Boda in Spanish means "wedding", so it was natural for this asteroid to represent that. Boda is an asteroid we look at when we want to know more about what kind of wedding one will have. The Boda Persona Chart also means the same thing, and it gives more details about one's special day.

This observation is for Natal Charts. You can also check it in Briede, Groom, Juno Persona Charts. For Boda PC, check the Sun & Asteroid Boda.

Boda Aspects

Book a private reading: menus ; Q&A ; rules

Aries, 1H, 1°, 13°, 25°

જ⁀➴ The wedding could happen quite fast. It can be a rushed wedding, meaning you could want to get married very fast after engagements, or it's a wedding that is happening out of the blue like for example, suddenly getting married in a Town Hall. The wedding could happen in Spring time. It can be also a very fast ceremony, and it could also be an indicator of a private wedding, maybe also just the two of you. You could feel a certain competition on your wedding day, maybe try to do better than someone else, or you want to show off you can have the best wedding of the year perhaps. There could be some fights or arguments during your wedding. You could also want to lead a lot during your wedding so you will maybe decide when things are happening. People could be passionate and spontaneous too. You could also want to party with everyone afterwards. A lot of dancing and moving. Because this placement can also indicate having in the 1H, you could feel like the main character during your wedding, the whole attention will be on you.

Taurus, 2H, 2°, 14°, 26°

જ⁀➴ The wedding could be well prepared, and you could want to take your time with it. It can also be a spring wedding. This could be a normal or basic wedding, traditional too. You could spend a lot of money, and a contract like a prenup can be signed. The wedding could look very beautiful, romantic, very well designed and organized. People could also look very classy. It could be in nature, or outside, in a beautiful garden for example. People could be very polite during the wedding. The food could taste amazing, and the buffet could be a big part of the wedding's success. The wedding could look expensive, luxurious and just very classy. It can look ethereal too. All your family can be there and your loved ones too. You could really be happy about your day. It can also mean you could share a lot of romance with your spouse together and the vows could be very romantic. Someone could sing at the wedding too, or the first dance will be very romantic.

Gemini, 3H, 3°, 15°, 27°

જ⁀➴ The wedding could be very joyful, and people could be smiley and happy. They could also be very much into talking, chatting. This could be a foreign wedding, it could happen in your spouse's country too if you marry a foreigner. Foreigners could attend the wedding. People from different backgrounds too. But you could feel like people don't really care and actually enjoy the conversation. You could prepare speeches, your vows can also be particular. You could also do some games during the wedding party. You could post your wedding on social media too, or people could post it. People could also be into gossips and there could be rumors about your wedding too. This could be a very humorous wedding too, people could make a lot of jokes during speeches. You could also invite your neighbors. This could be a big wedding too, at least because it can mean there are a lot of people. This placement could mean you could marry twice, not with two different people necessarily but for example, once in your homeland, and a second time in your spouse's homeland. Or you could want to renew your wedding vows and marry again later. This could also be a spring or summer wedding.

Cancer, 4H, 4°, 16°, 28°

જ⁀➴ Wedding could be very much familial, a lot of family members attending your wedding. It could happen in your homeland and, for some of you, it could happen in your home actually. It could be a wedding near water, the sea, at the beach perhaps. People will be emotional and cry a lot, maybe more family members, and to be even precise, the mother (your mother or the spouse's too). You could want to follow a traditional wedding, and maybe even let your family decide for you. You could also be pregnant during the wedding (it is a possibility, it doesn't have to necessarily happen). The wedding could also be influences by the moon. Only people you love dearly are there. You could cry too. It could be a religious wedding too. Perhaps a sign to lose your virginity after your marriage (doesn't have to be, don't take it too seriously). Moreover, the wedding could have delicious food, food form your homeland, traditional food, def a lot of food generally. Wedding could happen during Summer season. Could also be a sign of a private wedding. Since it is very traditional, you could also wear something related to your family, for example the dress of your mother, or something from your grandmother. If you are a man, you could also have the ring wedding that is passed from generations.

Leo, 5H, 5°, 17°, 29°

જ⁀➴ The wedding could be really shiny, really amazing looking, and just incredible to look at. It could really be with extra details that just let you like wow. Very extra and could be dramatic too. The wedding could look expensive. Famous people could be invited, and the wedding could be famous too. You and your spouse could be the center of attention, and you will make sure that this is your day. The wedding party will be wild, and everyone will have fun. Very creative and joyful wedding. The entertainment is at its highest. It could take place in a place that is considered creative, not common yet amazing. It can be a summer wedding. People could be super happy, and look very joyful at the wedding. You could not stop laughing too and smiling. Nothing will bright shiner than you and your spouse. You will def feel like the main characters. People can remember the wedding like it was such an event not to miss. People will keep talking about it even years later.

Virgo, 6H, 6°, 18°

જ⁀➴ The wedding could be very well organized, almost perfect looking. You could hire people to organize your wedding. People could actually compliment you for how good and perfect the wedding is. You could look very neat, clean and very well put together, but people could also feel like you look cold and distant. Guests could look very good too, and respect the theme. You will maybe ask people to dress a certain color to suit the theme perfectly. This could also indicate you could be stressed during your wedding, or really focused on making sure everything is prefect rather than enjoying the big day. You could want to put very healthy food, and maybe also ask guests to raise money for a charity rather than giving actual gifts. You could have a summer wedding. The wedding could also be traditional.

Libra, 7H, 7°, 19°

જ⁀➴ Wedding could be very romantic, very beautiful. The ceremony could be very lovely to watch, and people could cry (or some cringe) at how romantic it will be. The wedding could take place in end of the summer or during fall season. It could be in nature, or around a lot of flowers, somewhere with a very beautiful scenery or place. Well dressed people. A contract can be signed, like a prenup for example, but it could also be another one. Aesthetic will be very important for the wedding, and the groom & bride could ask people to follow a certain theme. Music could be played during the ceremony, such like harp perhaps. People will have fun during the wedding party, at least this will be the vibe you will want. You will have a desire for everything to go well, everything to be in place, everything to feel peaceful, and you will do everything to be a good host, for people to have a good time. But the key to this one is romance at its fullest.

Scorpio, 8H, 8°, 20°

જ⁀➴ The wedding could be a private one, it could really be more than private tho. You could really just invite people who are very close to you. The wedding could be even secretive, you could get married and don't tell anyone for example. Just the two of you. You could spend money on the wedding. You could feel an intense connection with your spouse that time, and you could even want to sneak to.. release the tension lol. There could be something spiritual happening during the wedding. You could also discover some secrets during the wedding. Someone could be jealous too. There could be something happening with someone you don't like. The emotions could be intense too. You could cry or not control your emotions. People could also cry but silently. There could be a fight happening too during the wedding. You could be pregnant during the wedding too. The wedding could happen during fall, or it can also happen at night.

Sagittarius, 9H, 9°, 21°

જ⁀➴ The wedding could be in foreign lands, or away from where you live. The wedding could be fun, interesting, wild, spontaneous. You could marry suddenly without being prepared. Foreigners could attend the wedding too. If you marry a foreigner, it could be in their country, homeland. You could have a wedding without much preparation, you prefer spontaneity. You want people to be happy. You will perhaps want to include everyone, so some games during the wedding party could happen. You will want people from different backgrounds to meet, it could be a very open-minded wedding too. Wedding could happen during the winter season. You could also have took time to prepare your wedding without any rush. You could have a religious wedding, but this could also mean to have a spiritual wedding. A contract could be signed. You could decide to marry in different countries. You could also decide to not spend much money on the wedding but rather on the honeymoon.

Capricorn, 10H, 10°, 22°

જ⁀➴ The wedding could be very elegant, very luxurious looking. You could spend a lot of money on your wedding, you want to make a certain first impression. The wedding could really be astonishing looking. You could ask people to come with very elegant clothing. The wedding will look expensive. You could also invite a lot of coworkers, or important people can be there. Your In-laws could have paid the wedding too. It could also be hosted by your In-Laws. A contract can indeed be signed, and it can also be a prenup. It could also be a wedding to show off money or possession. The wedding could have a certain popularity afterwards. It could also be famous for some reason. Def a wedding people will remember. It can be a bit cold and rigid tho, perhaps not a lot of people will cry or show much of how they feel. Some people could attend just to show themselves. Wedding could happen during Winter season. Your father figure could be important too during the wedding. He could also be the one paying for the wedding.

Aquarius, 11H, 11°, 23°

જ⁀➴ The wedding could be in foreign lands, or just in a place that is not usually taken for weddings. It could be very unusual, and maybe also avant-garde, breaking rules. Revolutionary wedding. It could also be a wedding that is not celebrated the way people consider "normal" in your culture. Since it is also relate to technologies, you could film your wedding, ask people to film your wedding. This placement makes me recall one couple who filmed their wedding The Office style. Quirky yet super original and funny. You could post your wedding photos and videos on the internet, or even make a live of it for people to see it or for the people who couldn't attend. Your wedding could also be posted on the internet as inspirations on Pinterest for example. The wedding could happen during Summer, maybe on Valentine's Day. Because Aquarius is again rules, it can happen during a time usually weddings don't happen, or you could also ask people to dress a certain way that is not "classic" for a wedding.

Pisces, 12H, 12°, 24°

જ⁀➴ Very emotional wedding. People can cry, you can cry, everyone can cry. Could happen around water, mostly the sea or at the beach. Also could be on a boat. Could be happening in foreign lands. Foreigners can attend the wedding. There could also be problems related to alcoholism or anything else. You could find it stressing, strangers could try to sneak in or some troubles could happen. On a good hand, the wedding could be very romantic, music could be played, and there could also be poetry reading. It could be a private wedding. It could feel like destiny, or you could have been predicted about something in your wedding. You could also have dreamed of your wedding. The wedding could happen during Winter season.

Thank you for reading!

back to index ; ask ; request ; rules

[gor3sigil]

Trans drag performers deserve better.

Okay so since y'all seem interested, here we go.

[This is about MY experience as a “former” transmasc drag king, in my local scene. This isn't representative of the drag scene as a whole because drag is a wide, huge scene with pretty much any type of people in it. I have never done paid gig. I only performed a couple of times before deciding to stop.]

I discovered drag with RuPaul like a lot of people, and for a long time, I only knew about drag queens. It’s when I learned about an initiation to drag king happening in my town that I decided to try it. I did a bit of research before the event took place and that's how I learned that drag king is widely undocumented, compared to drag queen. A bit disheartening but I was excited to do something new and especially to get back in my local queer community after 2 years or so of “no contact” with it because trauma (see my post about my first T4T relationship to understand why).

First surprise when I got there, I was the only transmasc present as an attendee. The organiser and person who teached us is agender and go by he/him, and his at the time SO is a transmasc enby but appart from them, I was the only trans person. Most of the others were cis lesbian women. Makes sense. The initiation weekend went really well and we ended up performing in an open scene at the end. I can't count the amount of times I got misgendered by other kings during this weekend and I have to say, it pissed me off so fucking bad because I was the only one getting consistantly misgendered. But I brushed it off and had a blast.

My drag persona is more of a dragula king, really goth, and I did a lipsync performance on a Black Dresses song. I loved it and had a blast. A year or so later, we decided with other drag kings to do a little group to perform together.

Once again, I'm the only trans person.

And that's when the shitshow kinda happened. From all the drag kings present, I was also the only one who wasn't already part of a collective. So the group we had was composed of people from 2 collectives who would basically cheer each other out at every show, and it's great !! But I wasn't being integrated into the group, and I felt defeated. One of the main reasons why I didn't go to drag shows was because I was FLAT BROKE. I couldn't attend these events as they were always or in a bar so you have to at least buy a drink, or had a fee, and I couldn't afford that.

We started doing rehearsals and I set up a discord server for us all to use and organize the said rehearsals. It soon became apparent that they weren't really serious about this group, that they were more involved in their own collectives and it was HELL to have at least one rehearsal a month. But we had a show scheduled for september, and half of the kings weren't ready, didn't know their texts nor songs. I knew it was going to be bad. Also we were confirmed that the gig was going to actually happen 3 days only before, because the people who said they were going to do the visuals NEVER DID and we had to fumble something quick so the event was promoted very fucking late and we weren't sure we could even afford to do it, because not many tickets were sold.

During the rehearsals I got singled out for everything. My voice was dropping because of the T (I had started 8 months prior) and I tried to do my best with the singing parts but got told a few times that my low voice would sound “weird” amongst the sopranos. Also, one of the solo part a king was going to perform was on a very upbeat music and he said we could join IF WE WANTED.

I said I'd pass since it wasn't my style at all.

And when we got to the venue, the venue didn't have any backstage and I had my solo part just after that, so I couldn't just stand there on stage and do nothing. The others in my group KNEW IT as they had performed in this venue BEFORE but just told me “oh, too bad, improvise something” when they were the same ones who told me that taking part in the number was not mandatory.

Regarding the other artists, man, I hated everything. I got misgendered constantly IN KING LIKE - I'M A DRAG KING FFS. Even by others in my group.

When I corrected another performer, a cis gay dude, he laughed at my FACE and told me “but you're trans aren't you like, against gender or something ?”. As I was pre op and still early in my transition I was basically outing myself everytime I told my pronouns and I got so many cis performers ask me invasive questions about my sex life, or being like “yeah I have a trans friend who goes by X but I knew them as Y so it's Y to me but it's not in a disrespectful way you see”.

So yeah, I didn't have a great night. :)

The cis kings called me “girl” or “sis” because “I'm one of them” even after telling them time and time again that I wasn't comfortable with that.

And after this quite disastrous experience, the same ones who called me “girl” and me got into an argument because they wanted to change a song about forced toxic masculinity which is an INCREDIBLY POWERFUL AND BEAUTIFUL SONG into lyrics to talk about femininity. I said that we could use another song then, because there's so few cis men singers who sing about being forced into toxic masculinity and virility that I found that a bit disrespectful to take this important message and make it about women and femininity. There's plenty of songs about that that we could use.

And now guess what ? I was a MEAN MAN who wanted women to NOT TALK ABOUT THEIR ISSUES because I was a very MANLY DUDE DISGUSTING MALE.

The same people who couldn't gender me correctly and called me “sis” a WEEK BEFORE.

So yeah, I got the fuck out and gave up.

I really wish I can perform again one day, but it'll be in another scene.

So PSA: book drag kings, because they are so underrepresented it's disheartening, RESPECT trans drag performers, don't but bioessentialism in drag for the LOVE OF GOD IT'S DRAG. Like imagine being transphobic as a DRAG PERFORMER. Learn the history. And fucking do better.

[tinyfantasminha]

I don't want to keep clogging my blog with vent posts but uh... I guess this is a more general concern/observation

But it's getting real hard to stay motivated in fandom spaces when there's little compensation, and annoying occurrences are more frequent than good ones.

Mainly there's been less engagement/people showing interest in creators and their art (such as sending asks, making comments and reblogging with tags) and MORE parasocial interactions. This goes for both artists and writers.

Over this year I've noticed a vast disinterest within my public in general. Asks about ocs, my art, or just nice simple comments of ''I love your art'' has been getting more and more scarce. My follower number is bigger than 2-3 years ago sure and I get more likes on my posts but they are feeling more like just numbers and statistics than actual people who supposedly like my stuff.

And while people being parasocial with creators has always been a thing, I feel like it's gotten way worse... in general? People sending personal pictures out of the blue in hopes of being validated, unwanted psychological advice or assumptions about the creator without any established connection first ( <- these happened to me in the same week.) ventdump, just insensitive/lacking of common sense comments in general, unreasonable demands (mostly with writers)... I wondered at first if it was just me, but a handful of mutuals/acquaintances who are artists and writers seems to be going through it as well.

It's annoying. It's tough. It's getting exhausting. Creators pour so much of themselves into their work—countless hours, effort, and passion, all to share something meaningful or entertaining with others (and for FREE) The LEAST anyone can do is show respect, even if opinions differ. When a writer posts a fanfic, don't just say ''omg post next chapter!'', when an artist posts a drawing of their favorite character, don't just say ''omg draw (character) next!'' as if they're faceless content machines that are expected to churn out more '''content''' for you without acknowledgment, encouragement, or appreciation.

''I want to support creators but I don't know what to say and I feel intimidated by their talent so I just lurk silently :((('' I swear to you, no creator (at least not the majority) is making up an intimidating persona to discourage you from interacting with them. They WANT your comments. A single ''I love your art/writing/videos'' or even something as silly as ''I want to eat your art'' is enough to keep a creator sighing dreamily for WEEKS. It doesn't have to be deep! It's heartfelt and that's what it matters!! (Just remember to keep it relevant and thoughtful... It takes just a bit of common sense NOT to comment things like ''this looks like (another character)'' or ''this but with (another unrelated ship/character/show)''. No one wants to hear comparisons or unrelated ideas when they’ve poured their soul into something.)

In fact, the ''I like your art but I think you're intimidating'' feels more hurtful than flattering. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, acting wrong. 💀

If you love that fanfic that changed your brain psyche forever and want to gush about it, go tell the writer. If you loved so much a piece of art that you saved it a million times in your phone and can't stop thinking about it, go tell the artist. Push away the ''they probably won't care about my comment/it won't make a difference'' thoughts. DO IT NOW. You won't know when they might go inactive forever or deactivate. You can't know if that is the last piece they will ever post. Make sure you show appreciation to creators NOW, while they are still here. While they're still not being replaced by AI.

[pico-farad]

I finished season 1 of Vrains and it was cool but I thought it needed about 2 billion more secret identity shenanigans

extended thoughts below

So I went into a deep dive in my last two posts (1, 2) about all the problems I had with Vrains, and you'd think I didn't enjoy it, but in fact as I was watching, there was a separate, parallel version of Vrains that was playing in my head, a Yugioh I think we were robbed of and which fixes every problem I had with the first season, and that is Secret Identities AU.

Yusaku needs FRIENDS

This is YUGIOH.

This dynamic is everything I wanted from Vrains. Yusaku developing unexpected fondness for these bozos who think he needs a defense squad. I want Miraculous Ladybug levels of secret identity shenanigans. I want Yusaku slapping his duel disk every time Ai tries to blow their cover.

This AU sprung forth from the scene in the duel club where he shows Naoki his decoy deck. Having Yusaku passing as a bad duelist is 1) so funny, but 2) Yusaku needing to maintain his low profile is a useful contrivance for other characters to get more duels, and 3) I think it would be a really fun one-off episode where Yusaku has to duel using his bad deck. When he wins, Naoki is so proud he cries.

Having Yusaku actually have to interact with the other characters in the real world opens up Greek play levels of dramatic irony. The crux of a secret identity story is that every single interaction builds up anticipation, because you the viewer know that the other party is being deceived, and that the tension will snap when the secret is revealed.

I have zero anticipation about Playmaker's identity being revealed, because Aoi would be like "oh.... I guess he goes to my school" and Go would be like "have I seen that guy before?" But SIAU Playmaker? My guy is making friends just so he can betray them. Insane.

Go needs A ROLE IN THE STORY.

I said in my first post that Go isn't a rival or a best friend character. SIAU fixes this by making him both simultaneously.

Having him be the ace of the duel club is a natural replacement for his whole hero of the orphans schtick, while placing him directly the circle of relevance with the other characters. Instead of being disgruntled that the orphans suddenly like Playmaker more than him, he's disgruntled that Naoki and the duel club mooks are fawning over Playmaker -- which is actually just Naoki's character anyway.

I would kill for a big dramatic moment where Go learns that Playmaker and Yusaku are the same person, and even though Go feels betrayed that Yusaku has been deceiving him, he stands by Yusaku anyway because they're friends.

With a secret identity story, every conversation is working on multiple levels because each character is working with asymmetric information. You get these fascinating, layered scenes of two characters talking past each other because they cannot give up their secret.

Which would go especially hard with Go and Yusaku, because Go has legitimate criticisms of Playmaker in canon and Yusaku has legitimate reasoning behind the things he does, and as Go Onizuka and Playmaker they could never come to an understanding on them, but as Go and Yusaku, two friends in duel club, that door becomes open to them.

Aoi needs WRITING THAT ISN'T A TRAINWRECK

I made a whole post on this. Basically every problem would be solved if Akira doesn't know that she's Blue Angel. There's no reason for her to lose grotesquely against Yusaku, or have her basic autonomy called into question constantly. 

Having her actively deceive her brother is delicious. Like I said in my last post, it's so obvious how Akira's overprotectiveness has taken its toll on Aoi, and pushed her into developing this other persona, Blue Angel. I want this absolutely dysfunctional sibling relationship so badly. The Blue Angel vs. Zaizen duel would make me lose my mind.

And a secret identities setting works so well with the potential themes of VRAINS as a stand-in for the internet and Blue Angel as an idol. Give me that Perfect Blue Satoshi Kon good stuff. Give me those themes about identity, and the different lives we live, outward and inward, online and offline.

This also helps Akira's character, because I think he would be much more interesting and relevantly positioned in the story if he stayed a SOL Technologies baddie. SOL Technologies has very little presence in season 1 despite being critical to the story. After Zaizen is replaced by an irrelevant clown, they don't do anything but send out mook AIs to get destroyed. By having a three-way standoff between Yusaku's squad, the Knights of Hanoi, and SOL Technologies, both Hanoi and SOL Technologies become more compelling. They've both got all the reason in the world to want to take down the other. Zaizen vs. Revolver or Spectre? That's good shit.

And don't get me started on how I would turn Revolver into a Secret Identities character.

[northopalshore]

Northopalshore's

Boda persona chart

Boda (1487) means wedding in Spanish, this asteroid is often used to interpret the actual day itself and the events that transpire during the wedding. But before I get into my bpc, here are..

Some observations made by analysing boda pcs of people who have already married;

Pluto in the first house; almost always indicates a marriage between different religions. Though it also means you will be taking control of the wedding (emphasis on your responsibility during the wedding).

Retrograde planets; usually indicate tension or unexpressed feelings surrounding the wedding, but also shows delay depending on what is in retrograde (& where). Though it also represents letting go, relaxing & and adapting a more calm attitude i.e not being in control.

Aries in the 4th house typically means that your parents may not fully agree with this wedding or they may have reservations especially if mercury or mars are here & in retrograde.

Pisces stellium in the boda pc usually means the marriage will take place at a church or somewhere religious.

Reader manual: Every point that starts with ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ indicates that we've moved on into the next house. Asteroids/planets without it are within that house. I will be listing them in order from the 1st house to the 12th house. Including planets within them. I will be referencing Beyoncé & Ariana Grande's Boda PC a lot to further prove a point only because ours is sort of similar & we have decent knowledge of what went down during their wedding. This post is also meant to be a guide for how to read one's boda pc.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Cancer rising (°12 pisces)

How I'll look, my dress, the aesthetics, how people will see me

I look like a bride, lol. I might be rather shy or quiet throughout the wedding, my dress will be simple but dreamy & feminine. It's meant to accentuate my face, body and essence. I'm not going to have much makeup on. The guests may think I look rather young & innocent. Somewhat ethereal.

Ex: Ariana Grande has cancer rising (°19 libra) in her boda persona chart. You can see that she looked elegant & poised, yet there was still this purity radiating from her that day. Her makeup & dress reflected that. Though, I get a bit sad thinking of how it went down years later. I'm sorry Ari. ʕ⁠´⁠•⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠•̥⁠`⁠ʔ

Saturn (°20 Scorpio)

Restraint, stress, where tense energy will be

I'll be very focused on my appearance during the wedding. Perhaps I'll be very mindful about how I look or how I act, whether my dress fits me or if my makeup is smudged. Perhaps I'll be pressuring myself to look my best for this event.

Lilith (°27 Gemini)

Insecurities, fears, what's uncomfortable, judgement

I will be very anxious about what people will say about me as my husband's bride. Honestly, as a bride in general. Their reactions to how I look & whether I fit the image of a bride or not. I will likely feel all their eyes on me throughout the wedding. Judging, and analysing me.

Europa (° 8 Scorpio) in Leo

What's considered iconic, what grabs attention quickly or leaves a lasting impression

How I look, i.e my dress and makeup may become some sort of a trend following my wedding. Perhaps I'll be a little icon around the area or be on pinterest for that look who knows? (lmao). People will be hooked on the look. It will garner both good & bad criticism. People will either criticise it heavily or fall in love.

Ex: Ari has populus (°2 taurus) & europa (° 5 leo) here. People were all complimenting the way she looked during her wedding, though not to the point of copying the type of dress or look for their own wedding, but everyone thought she looked wonderful.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Second house in Leo

How much money will be spent, the aesthetics, wedding gifts

No expense will be spared to make the day absolutely perfect. Very expensive, very extravagant but in a classic way. It's not going to be tacky. Wedding gifts will be related to children, handmade items, something artsy or fancy looking. Could also be related to a getaway, something fun. (Leo/5th house energy).

Ex: Ariana has the same sign in her boda pc 2nd house. From the photos we've seen, her wedding (w Dalton) spared no expenses. It was classical yes but that dress was custom designer. Although the details of her wedding expenses remain unknown, I feel like she was definitely the one who splurged more on the count of Chiron being here.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Third house in Virgo

Guests, invitations, themes

It's going to be a relatively small or private wedding. There will not be a lot of guests. The guests will be well dressed, clean & respectful i.e following themes, colour coordination, everything. The theme of the wedding itself is elegant & classic. It's not going to be too colourful or loud, but more cold ? High class minimalism.

Ex: Ariana has this placement, with moon here, most of her guests consist of close friends & family members only. Everyone felt that Dalton was a perfect match to Ariana ( grand trine between moon (2nd house-venus (11th house)-neptune (7th house)). All of them were very emotional & happy for her, especially her family.

Beyoncé has this placement in her boda pc too, except she has fama (retrograde), Saturn & mars (retrograde) here as well. Almost all of her guests are famous, and closely related to them in the industry.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ IC (°12 pisces) in Libra

My parents & their opinions, the venue

My parents will be very emotional. They could keep up a more composed front throughout the wedding. They may think that it's grand & unreal, almost like a fairytale. It might feel rather strange to them as well, with how the wedding is set up. Perhaps they would have never expected this type of wedding for their daughter. I'm not sure if the venue of the wedding itself is foreign to them, but most of all, it's the situation. So the situation itself is hard to grasp. Perhaps they feel like they have to be more "presentable" than normal.

Jupiter (°13 aries) retrograde

Memorable moments, the big agenda, public revelations

People will be very critical about my wedding. It might cause some sort of argument or some sort of chaos. Even if Jupiter is traditionally a benefic planet, what's most noticeable surrounding my wedding may be controversy or just people having their own thoughts or reservations on it. From my parents'pov, they may think that the wedding took place much quicker than they'd expect or hoped for. Perhaps a part of them will think we got married too soon (makes sense since my natal boda is in Aries ).

Ex: Ariana has the same IC & she also has Scorpio Jupiter (°10 Capricorn ) in retrograde here. Everyone was very surprised to learn that she was getting married so privately. They got a lot of mixed reactions too. It did feel quite sudden especially considering the events that happened prior to their relationship being public. For Ariana's parents, mainly her mother they felt like this was very sentimental yet still supportive of her daughter's marriage. Perhaps there was a sense of fear that she had kept to herself.

Fama (°21 Sagittarius) retrograde

What will draw a lot of attention during the wedding, iconic moments

It's definitely something that challenges what people would usually expect. Forcing them to look at a bigger picture or from a more open perspective than they normally would. A mix of cultures, a mix of beliefs & views on religion. Could be known for how spiritual or 'open' it is to the occult. (There could be a tarot reading corner for example, here it's actually quite taboo because my country is quite religious but I don't give a crap lol). Some guests from my husband's side might think I'm.. exotic lmao.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Fifth house in Scorpio

after party, entertainment

Instead of a loud party where people would go all out drinking , it's more likely that it'll just be another intimate setting. Where it's just me, my husband & the people we trust. Everyone will be rather reserved. Though, something about the energy will make it hard to really relax.

Great Attractor (°14 taurus) in Sagittarius

What will leave people at awe or gain their attention during the wedding

It's likely going to be the interactions between me & my spouse. People may think that they're so natural around each other even though they're different, or you may not expect it at first. The energy between me & my husband will be very friendly, & very close. The deco itself will draw a lot of attention for its grand aesthetic. People will think " that must be expensive". Perhaps there's something more to it than normal/what you'd usually see at a wedding.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Sixth house in Sagittarius

Employees, venue, wedding planner, organisers, people who are actually settling up the decor

My future spouse may be the one that will be more involved i.e working with the organisers, trying to coordinate the event. They could come from his country as well. They will do an amazing job, everything will look extravagant. There may be a lot of things that are imported as well either from his place or mine, or even somewhere else. So the venue may look rather eclectic but still have this elegant & cold vibe to it. I'm not sure if the wedding will take place at his place however. We might get married at the groom's house, but I'm not quite sure.

Example: Beyoncé has the 6th house in Capricorn. Her wedding took place at Jay-Z's penthouse in NYC.

Pluto (°24 pisces) retrograde

Where control will be exercised during the wedding & who will be taking control

It may take a while to set everything up. Perhaps some things will be omitted from the ceremony because of issues with the organisers or courier. Perhaps some ideas turn out to be rather ambitious. Some things may be late or there may be requests that are too difficult to manage at the time. I may be in charge of coming up with ideas, but ultimately the organisers will be the ones actually setting everything up (according to what they're told or given inspiration by).

Beyoncé has Pluto (°26 Taurus) retrograde in the 4th house in Libra. Her mother is the one who chosed the design of her wedding dress. She was the one taking control in this area. It wasn't what you'd normally see Beyoncé in, instead it reflects more of what her mother has envisioned her daughter wearing. Still, it's the dress Beyoncé wore walking down that aisle.

Ariana Grande has Scorpio Pluto (°27 gemini) in retrograde in her 5th house. She chose not to sing or entertain the guests as most would have assumed she would. Instead, the focus of the wedding was just the bond between the couple. So it's likely the after-party was spent drinking & talking to the guests.

ʚ♡ɞ˚ Descendant in Capricorn (°12 pisces)

My husband's appearance, his feelings, how he is seen throughout the wedding,contracts, legalities

He will look like a groom. There's really no other way to see it. He'll look like a married man. In love, reserved, composed & elegant. He looks like he knows what he wants without acting rash or bossy. He will look, like prince charming lol. We both may look a little weary at times, thinking of our connection, our future & what people might say about it. However, those thoughts will likely not stay for that long. We'll still somehow find reassurance in each other (Cancer & Capricorn).

Our union will be both spiritual & traditional, meaning we'll likely have a traditional set up, blessings, vows, marriage license, prenup, the works but work the rest out according to how we feel necessary.

Chiron (°2 Taurus) in Aquarius

Greatest fears or insecurities around the marriage

I might be worried about the money my husband will be spending on the wedding. Perhaps I'll feel like a bit of a burden seeing him do all the work. It seems like he'll try his best to do everything that I want or have envisioned for our wedding day. Other than that, there might still be some lingering doubts I'll have around him. Wondering whether or not this marriage will last or stand the test of time/ chaos. This also means he'll have sacrificed a lot of this time, money & effort just to make everything as perfect as possible in his eyes. To reach an ideal despite how 'unique' the circumstances between us are.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Eighth house in Aquarius

Sex, wedding night, status renewal, difficulties, shock factor

I have a stellium in my boda pc 8th house lmaoo. Sex will be a huge part of the experience for the both of us. Mars, Neptune & uranus are here; we might get pretty freaky.

Although more than that, the wedding is in some way 'shocking'. Sort of like Beyoncé's wedding but ours will be under more scrutiny compared to her's since her's was almost kept completely a secret (8th house in Aquarius, Sun in pisces, pisces over the 8th house).

Mine will be revealed then & there (or perhaps even before) to the 'public'. So it'll stir up confusion, arguments along with the initial shock factor. Mars, Neptune & uranus here are such a dramatic combination though.

Ex: Lana Del Rey has Briede (°3 gemini) in Aries, in the 8th house & in retrograde. Literally nobody expected to see her suddenly spotted walking around in her wedding dress w her husband online. I think post people didn't even know about her relationship status at the time so imagine the collective shock lmao.

Mars (°13 Aries) in Aquarius

Disagreements, arguments, where difficulties could be met

Regarding sex, perhaps we'll do some quickies here & there lmaooo. I don't think this is the first time we'll be intimate with each other. But it will feel like it. Perhaps we'll be trying something new? How exciting.

What's not exciting is that our wedding may cause a lot of tension in the people around us. Perhaps something about our wedding clashes with the norm? I can't exactly tell yet. Tense feelings, people saying all types of shenanigans following or even during the event.

Neptune (°17 Leo) in Aquarius

Illusions & enchantments, miscommunication , where the magic is felt during the wedding

The illusion comes from how unexpected, regal & almost unrealistic it is. A lot of what the marriage represents is going to cause great shock & disbelief (as I said, mostly because nobody expected the relationship at all let alone a marriage this soon).

It might be hard to control how it's going to be perceived at first. It's honestly more like the wedding guests are "stunned" than "enchanted".

Intimacy is based on love, there's a need to showcase that physically at some point. We'll probably be excited that we're this official now.

"Omg we're married. "

"Yeah, it feels.. kind of crazy"

Uranus (°9 Sagittarius) in Pisces

Shock factors, revelations, oddity

People may think that this marriage is quite sudden. Perhaps nobody even thought either of us were dating (but mostly on my side) & suddenly "there's a wedding?? You're getting married!??" It's likely a big shock to those around me as well.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Ninth house in Pisces

My parents in law, their thoughts, feelings & opinions

They likely feel a lot of mixed feelings ( I'll explain in the following points). Feeling somewhat sentimental, though it may also seem like they feel a little detached from the union in general. They may feel like everything happens beyond their control or comprehension at times. They likely came in with a go with the flow kind of attitude.

Groom ( °13 Aries)

How I'll see my fs during the wedding, how he'll act

They're still definitely here to support their son, even if they do not completely understand where he's coming from, or his intentions. They may see him as a little bit immature or acting at his own will i.e stubborn & impulsive. Though at the same time, they will be very emotional that their son is getting married, still wanting to support him on his special day.

He will be "the man in charge" throughout the wedding. I'll likely be looking at him quite often for reassurance, whether I'm doing something right or not. I don't think this means he'll be controlling however since Groom is in pisces. But he will be my rock throughout the ceremony.

Juno (°27 Gemini)

How we'll both act together throughout the ceremony

We will be rather flirty with each other. It's in pisces, so we will definitely be enchanted by each other during the wedding. Being a source of relief and reassurance to each other when the atmosphere starts to get heavy. We may share some fun & friendly banter as well (9th house & Gemini influence).

Mercury (° 2 Taurus) retrograde in Aries

What people will say about the wedding, what I'll think about the wedding, legal matters

We'll still go through traditional wedding customs i.e marriage license, prenuptial agreement, etc. The guests, people in general will have very mixed opinions. Ranging from support to suspicions. Don't tell me they think I'll be marrying my FS for his money? ʕ⁠´⁠•⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠•̥⁠`⁠ʔ

It's in the ninth house so his parents will have their own opinions about the wedding for sure. Though they will not say anything because of how determined their son acts.

Moon (° 9 Sagittarius) in Aries

How I'll feel about the wedding, the emotions that are expressed & what transpires emotionally

The emotions will be quite chaotic throughout the ceremony. There will be many mixed opinions & thoughts & emotions from a variety of sources. Since it's in the 9th house (in laws), my husband's parents may still not be so sure of what to think of me, or perhaps they also will feel a little rushed. Maybe they have trouble seeing into their son's head lmao.

Moon is conjuncting the MC as well so.. wish me luck handling that. It seems they still have difficulties trying to grasp certain things about the union (semi-sextiles uranus in the 9th house).

It also opposites Jupiter in the 4th house (my parents). So there could be some contract with how they both feel, still as both are influenced by Sagittarius (°9) they'll still try to look at it from a bigger perspective.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Midheaven in Aries (°12 pisces)

The reputation of the wedding, how it will be remembered

Something about our wedding is revolutionary. Especially with these Aries, Aquarius & 8th house stelliums. Ah, I can already feel the tension from just writing this. It's personal, rebellious but at the same time dreamy & romantic. The public will see that the bride & groom couldn't care less about what other people have to say, about how or who they marry. This is our wedding, and that is all that matters. There is still that dreaminess beyond all that chaos.

It's going to cause a lot of discourse & turn a lot of heads, yes. Is it in a bad way?... Well, yes & no. What it isn't however, is boring or quiet.

Sun (° 18 Virgo)

The theme, the vibe of the wedding, how it's perceived in general but also your focus during the wedding

The wedding will be seen as a big event. There may be some important guests as well. The wedding will be kept relatively private (small) but the talk & energy surrounding it will be big. People will always have something to say about it whether good or bad (aries + virgo).

My focus will be how people perceive the wedding. Trying to make it more relaxed and under control despite what may go down.

Venus (°20 Scorpio)

The romantic atmosphere of the wedding, where generosity & harmonious energy is focused

People will look up to my wedding as this big event that both came out of nowhere & at the same time long awaited. The atmosphere is very tense. I keep picturing Elsa's coronation in my head lol. All eyes on us, although with this placement (in aries & Scorpio degree, it may be rather tense even with venus's effects). It will shock, stun & mesmerise the guests and all who hear of it.

It may seem "larger than life". Normally this is where the love or beauty of the wedding is enhanced, but being in this situation.. it's still a bit difficult. However, it could also mean that my FS & I will be resilient and determined about our love regardless.

North node (°22 Capricorn)

What it's meant to be for the couple, how it affects those around them, the future of the union

22 is the famous russian roulette degree lmao. It's meant to shake up a lot of people's perspectives. In the 10th house (aries) & Capricorn degree, it means that this will be the start of a new era for me & my future spouse. From here on, we will be a brand; husband & wife. People will always see us together as a pair. Which makes sense since we're married. Perhaps this also marks a pivotal point in our careers? People will remember this event long after it ends.

Example: Beyoncé has the same exact sign & degree in her Midheaven (Boda PC) . Her marriage to Jay-Z symbolises their brand as a pair in both daily lives & career. It's sort of considered as a big transition in her career life as well as in pop culture history. A moment of time that changed things going forward.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Eleventh house in Taurus

The guests, their aesthetics

Very classy & down to earth. They will look refined and polished, somewhat in uniform as well (on theme) i.e colour & silhouette may be similar or on the same note. Relaxed, and elegant.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Twelfth house in Gemini

What will be kept hidden from people during the wedding, what will worry me, the emotions felt throughout the wedding

I don't think many guests will be crying except for me, my parents, my in-laws & my future spouse. At least, not overly emotional. There's going to be more witty conversations in its stead. There may be laughter & light entertainment. It's likely people will talk amongst themselves throughout.

Example: It's a far cry from Beyoncé's wedding where it was very emotional & quote " everyone was crying". Her 12th house is cancer & moon is present which gives it that magical once in a lifetime moment feel.

Perhaps it'll be more similar to Ariana's wedding atmosphere.

Briede (°14 Taurus) in Gemini

How I'll see myself during the wedding, how I'll act or think

I'll be composed throughout the wedding. Perhaps feeling like I should look smart or something lol. The atmosphere may force me to be on my toes throughout the ceremony, being hyper aware of the things going on around me without making it obvious. I think I'd picture myself somewhat poised & well mannered throughout the ceremony. Since it's in the 12th house, perhaps there is this ideal I'm trying to pursue. Wanting to be seen as the perfect bride (at least the one I've imagined myself being). I'll likely be very emotional throughout the ceremony.

Ex: Similar to Ari, since her Broede is also in the 12th house, though in a Taurus degree as well (°2), hers is in Cancer. So she was much more relaxed during her wedding compared to how I'll be in mine.

Part of fortune (°4 cancer) in Cancer

Where the wedding will thrive, the most enjoyable part

In the end, what it is is a union between two people in love. Regardless of what people may think about our wedding or our union, no matter what judgement comes or who tries to intervene, it won't change the fact that the bride & groom are here by their own choice. Some may not see it at first, but my future spouse and I will. It's sort of like a vow between us. Isn't that what marriage is supposed to be anyway? A promise.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

♡ Tada! You've reached the end of the post, congratulations! I'm very proud of how structured & cohesive this post is, as well as the observations I've made. Hope you enjoyed!

@northopalshore

all rights reserved.

@northopalshore boda persona chart 2024.

[crazylittlejester]

i don’t know if this is something Jojo is doing on purpose, or if it was an intentional detail but i grabbed and ran away with it, or if I’ve just completely read far to into things and entered the realm of just making shit up, but Warriors and his little crooked smile are so GODDAMN important to me and I am shaking him like a squeak toy (gently)

(big yap/analysis under the cut)

disclaimer, i just have a lot of thoughts, probably way too many thoughts, and 97% of them are about Wars so I might be insane, and what you’re about to read provided you’ve stuck around so far might be the equivalent of your high school english teacher yelling with tears in their eyes about how the curtains were blue to “symbolize her sadness”. also my apologies for weird spelling mistakes or oddly misspelled words, i am dyslexic 💔 but with that being said:

Warriors to me comes off as someone who’s constantly acting larger than life. He masks a LOT in front of the chain, he acts overdramatic and a bit ridiculous on purpose, and to an extent he just is a bit ridiculous, but his reactions to things are sometimes blow way out of proportion or are just larger than life in a comedic way where it just seems like he’s doing it intentionally. He comes across as a very extroverted, talkative person, and he seems like he’d honestly be a bit loud too (whether that’s who is REALLY is or what he’s REALLY like is a yap for another post). His (physical) image and the way his character/personality is perceived by others both seem like things that are not his CORE values or the things that mean the most to him, but they do seem to be at least a LITTLE bit important to him just based on how he presents himself and the way he acts. And to an extent, the whole thing with him caring so much about his looks is canon in LU, with that one sketch of him and Legend where he’s looking at his eye in a reflection of a shield and Legend says “alright break it up you two” being the first thing that comes to mind (which is in the post “Mirror Shield”, click the name for the link)

To me, from what I’ve seen and from my perspective, there are very few times we see an actual genuine smile from Warriors, and when we do it tends to be in moments where he’s not in the spotlight, he’s not trying to command the center of attention, and/or the focus is NOT on him. It tends to be moments where he just seems genuinely happy or at peace, and those seem pretty rare. He smiles a LOT, but the majority of his smiles seem big and flashy and performative, and not that that means he’s not happy AT ALL in any of those moments, but those smiles seem a lot more controlled and closely managed because he’s aware of the attention on him and therefore thinking about how he’s perceived. (I’ve made some posts in the past and I’ll probably make others in the future about how I think Warriors puts on this “Captain” or “Hero of Hyrule” persona because of how an entire war was started because a sorceress found him beautiful, and how he feels like him being just him isn’t really good enough for that and how he feels like he needs to fit in and look/act/seem like the legendary heroes he’s being compared to. He’s created this idea of what he COULD be and that’s what he presents to others, fake it till you make it and all that, but thats another yap for another day)

However there are these little moments where we see him smile, and the same one side of his mouth is pretty consistently always just a little bit higher no matter which way his head is facing (here’s a few examples):

@/linkeduniverse, from the 2023 monthly art, “January- Cold Sunrise”

@/linkeduniverse, both from “Dawn pt. 2”

And the thing that really started this whole headcanon of mine that his REAL smile is crooked was this specific part of Dawn pt. 2 where Warriors sees that Twilight is gonna be find for the first time after most likely worrying about him and being up all night:

That middle panel, to me at least, is probably the most genuine expression of a positive emotion we’ve seen from him this entire time. No one’s focus is on him, no one’s really looking at him, he doesn’t have the pressure of being the center of attention on him, and honestly even if that WERE the case, the genuine relief that hit him once he was Twilight was gonna be okay probably would’ve been enough to get a genuine smile out of him anyways. But the second he walks into the room officially, he kinda, for lack of a better way to put it, announces his presence and starts “acting” again (also from Dawn pt 2):

And while that same one side of his mouth does seem a bit higher and not very straight, it’s definitely more even than it was just five seconds previously

Now, acknowledging there is an art style, and that I also just might be insane, but Warriors’s smiles for the most part (when they seem controlled) appear to be a Lot straighter and more even to me than when it’s a more genuine moment and he doesn’t seem like he’s “acting” so much (and just a note: it certainly isn’t EVERY time, but in general, in moments like these his smile seems consistently straighter unless he’s just flat out smirking. and im not saying it’s PERFECTLY straight either, just noticeably more even). When he’s being more dramatic or intentionally obnoxious or the attention is on him, it really does feel like his smile is more controlled: here are just a few examples, obviously this isn’t every single time he’s smiled in all of LU

@/linkeduniverse, from “Swords”

@/linkeduniverse, from “Shady Escape pt 2”

@/linkeduniverse, from “Divine Dark Reflections pt. 8”

@/linkeduniverse, both from “Magic Sword”

am i looking too far into a little thing? probably. am i insane? yeah. but i just really love the idea that when Warriors is truly, genuinely happy, the part of himself that he tries to hide, the sweet and caring person he hides underneath all the dramatics, that true self he’s probably kept hidden away since the start of the war who’s been buried under insecurity and hidden because of the fear that who he is just isnt ENOUGH peaks through, and that person comes out through his happiness in the form of his smile. and yeah it does probably mean nothing and Jojo might not have done any of this on purpose, but i’m crazy, and Warriors’s crooked little smile is so so important to me *insert image of a guy crying face down on the floor because unfortunately i’ve hit the image limit*

[whatdidtheydotomygirljinx]

Jinx just never really liked Vander that much.

One of the things that, to me, seemed like a main theme in Jinx's arc in season 1 was the contrast between her two families, and how her switch from Vander's daughter to Silco's drastically changes the way her personality takes shape.

And I hate that the fandom, and now the show, too, has reduced Silco to an unhealthy influence in Jinx's life, pushing her towards her "bad" side (being Jinx) when, for all his flaws... he gives her a better childhood than she ever had with Vander. The first three episodes of the first season, to me, when I watched them, illustrate quite clearly that Powder feels unhappy in her family life. She is the most mal-adjusted of Vander's kids. Her older brother constantly berates her, and it's quite clearly having a big effect on her self-image. She later takes up the Jinx name and persona once she feels like she has become irredeemable as a person. Her other brother never defends her. Vi is the only one who is there for her, and they care for each other, but at the same time you can see there's still a little insecurity in their relationship. Vi is worried that maybe Powder is indeed too weak, and Powder worries that maybe Vi does indeed see her as a Jinx like her brother does.

And when it comes to Vander... he's just not really all that present in her life. And I don't blame him, the man has four kids to take care of, on top of keeping things running in the Undercity. It's clearly not his intention. But it doesn't change the fact that he's not there for Powder, not as much as she needs. To me, when I watched the first season, it seemed like Vander was a figure that felt far away to Powder, someone that she admired but also feared being completely herself around, and someone that she ultimately wished to be closer to than she actually was. It's worth mentioning that Jinx never says his name post time skip, and he is not a hallucination for her, not until Vi brings him up in the finale. Hell, Claggor is somehow a hallucination for her and he never even speaks. Vander was just not an influential figure in Jinx's life.

I always found the scene at the end of ep3 of s1 fascinating, because Powder never once mourns Vander. She never once cries for him and never once says his name. When she sees his dead body, she becomes shocked and starts crying, but it's not actually what breaks her. What breaks her is Vi's rejection. Had it just been that she accidentally caused the deaths of her brothers and adoptive father, she would not have crumbled mentally. It's Vi's rejection that destroys her. Now, of course, a little girl that cares more about her sister's affection towards her than the lives of her family members is kinda messed up, but that's what makes her character interesting. And we can see that that little girl doesn't go anywhere, as Jinx displays the exact same one-mindness about her sister. Because Jinx and Powder were never really that different, after all.

She is quite clearly placed with her back to Vander's body, that she never turns to, barely looks at, only enough to recognize him and see he's dead, and never says the name of. She's turned towards Vi, calling for Vi, crying because of Vi, and no one else. Heck, Vi had just been crying over his body a few moment ago. Vi is clearly distraught over his death. Vi is devastated, she literally punches her sister and curses her in the exact worst possible way she can, in the way she know it will hurt her sister the most. But Powder... she just honestly dgaf.

So to then hear Jinx say this line in season 2...

...is just straight up jarring. I was pulled out of the story when I heard this. This is Jinx saying this to Vi. This kinda makes it seem like it was Jinx who was most attached to Vander, or at least that she was just as attached to him as Vi was. Which is just not how things seemed in the story at literally any point until this one. And then season 2 continues this way, and somehow makes Jinx seem like the closest daughter to Vander. Flipping Warwick literally acts more attached to Jinx than Vander ever did to Powder. Like literally. Season 1 clearly sets up that Vi is the favorite daughter, and then they just... flip it?? Warwick cares more for Jinx and responds better to her than to Vi. It's actually insane. It's true they sanitized Jinx's character to hell and back this season, but this is a straight-up rewrite. I can't wrap my mind around why they did this. Plus, the entirety of act 2 they set up this weird and pointless arc of Jinx rekindling her relationship with Vander or something... and like literally her story was genuinely never about that.

(This COULD have been Vi's story. And that might have actually been cool, and made sense. Maybe Vi is the one who finds him, and she is the one who helps him calm down. And then she brings Jinx, and maybe Jinx is terrified because she was never that close to Vander, and then she literally killed him, so seeing him again is the last thing she wants. Maybe VI is the one who tells Jinx that "he was your dad, too", which would make A LOT more sense, and maybe that's the first time that Jinx thinks that oh, yeah, he was... And then maybe they have a cute moment where Vander forgives her. Or maybe she sees the state he's in right now and loses it completely. Or maybe they look at each other and they both see the monster each of them has become. And then maybe Vi looks down at the enforcer uniform she's wearing, and, privately, sees it too. Idk. The things we could have had.)

Silco was actually a good dad to Jinx, in all the ways that Vander wasn't. He gives her all the attention that she never had before. He not only listens to her, but actively asks for her side of the story. He never insults her, and he defends her against Sevika. He trusts her and gives her opportunities to prove she's capable. She goes from being one of four siblings, and getting lost in the shuffle and often ending up feeling forgotten and alone, to being the most important child, always taken into consideration and almost put on a pedestal by her dad (this, like, has to have cured some inner wounds, i think).

Silco understands Jinx better than any other character in the show, and I'm genuinely sad that we didn't get to see any flashback of Jinx growing up with him. Because their relationship was so unique, and so integral to Jinx's character and to the rest of the story, that the fact that we never get to see any other glimpse into their bond is just...

As a final note, I'd also like to add that I dislike when people say that Silco "groomed" Jinx. I think a much more realistic analysis is that he enabled her. And as for all the times he tells Jinx that Vi "betrayed her", that's just a reflection of his own trauma, and also because he fears that if Jinx knew Vi was alive, she would go back to her and leave him (which, considering what goes down in the s1 finale, not an unfounded fear). It's wrong that he does that, but it's not out of malicious intent (also tbh Jinx never really seems to believe him anyway).

And for all the people who say that Silco "turned Jinx into a terrorist" (dumbest people in this fandom fr, im sorry), that's just straight up not true. Powder was already like that. That is quite literally why Silco adopts her. Because he sees that she's like him. Silco would not have taken Powder in if he thought she was just a cute, innocent kid who was orphaned (to, what, raise her for years so that, MAYBE when she's older, she MIGHT be useful to him? when they meet he doesn't know she's the one that caused the explosion, he just knows that she's been abandoned by Vi). This is the kid who thought playing around with explosives was a fun hobby. This is the kid who giggled at the thought of hurting others. This is the kid who already suffered from explosive emotions. This is the kid who saw her father and her brothers dead, because of her, and all she cared about was whether her sister was mad at her because of it. This is the kid who throws herself at the first person she sees, someone who her sister hates, who is the cause of all this destruction, and with an anger that shocks most viewers, declares that Vi is not her sister anymore. She is livid in that one moment.

Powder already had it in her from the beginning. And it's also ok to like a character (and to write one) even if they are not 100% morally pure in every single way under the sun, cause that is quite literally what stories are for.

[kp-alice]

Red Light, No Entry | Hyung line

Summary: sub!Ateez scenarios about you/them stopping a scene

Word count: 7 394

Warnings: written at the beginning of each member's scenario, other than that just general awkwardness and misunderstandings

A/N: This post is the sixth and last part of my Kinktober 2024 series! You can find the masterlist for it here.

A/N 2: Since the fic got quite long, this is only the first half - you can expect the maknae line version soon!

Hongjoong (cnc, hongjoong pretends to be in distress, pegging, a few tears)

The moment Hongjoong asked you to try consensual non-consent, you were both wary and excited. On one hand, you'd already dabbled in quite a few rougher sessions, all of which you'd come to enjoy a lot. Not to mention how he always made sure to reassure you the whole way through, proving it really was just a form of stress relief for him and he wasn't actually uncomfortable.

But now, most of that reassurance would be taken away. Hongjoong wanted to feel small and helpless, to not have any other choice but to take what you'd give him. He found it freeing, knowing he could abandon his leader persona for a moment and just trust you to make all the choices for him. And with the added pretense of not being on board, he could thrive in the almost dangerous dominance emanating from you, in the feeling of being so desired you couldn't help but pounce on him. And hey, worst-case scenario, he could always use his safeword, right? Not to mention the extensive preparations you both made for this scene, discussing any potential boundaries and turn-offs.

And yet, now that you were finally here, you couldn't help but feel massively underprepared anyway.

Hongjoong was on all fours, tightly gripping the pillow his face was buried in while you pounded him from behind. Despite said pillow, you could still hear his muffled protests, whines, and whimpers, growing more desperate by the minute.

You made sure to hold him firmly by the hips, playing your part in the play-pretend scenario of using him solely for your pleasure. Whenever he made another haphazard attempt to get away from you, you were right there to pull him back on your strap, pushing him into the mattress to make him stay.

At first, everything was fine. Intense, but doable. Every now and then, a sound or a jolt from your boyfriend would startle you a bit, but each time, you'd just try to remember the countless times you'd rehearsed and discussed this to remind yourself it was all fake.

However, as time went on, that certainty steadily chipped away.

The pained and desperate noises you were pushing out of Hongjoong started to sound a little too desperate, and the tremble setting into his limbs sure wasn't helping either. You kept trying to tell yourself he would use his safeword if he needed to, but what if he forgot? What if he was stubbornly pushing himself to enjoy what he'd suggested, or worse, because he was scared to let you down? What if he was simply too deep in subspace that he didn't know how to get out of it anymore?

"What's your color, babe?" You panted into his ear as you leaned down, getting a whimpered "Green!" in return.

And yet, you still weren't convinced. After all, how could you be when the more he pretended to struggle, the more you started to feel as if you were actually hurting him? Sure, your main focus was on securing Hongjoong's safety and comfort, but have you stopped to consider your own feelings as well?

"Oh god," Hongjoong sniffled out a few seconds after your check-in, voice watery from the way you were jostling him around. "It's too much Y/N, I really can't! Please, no more!"

Perhaps he was just trying to immerse himself back into the scene after your question, but the moment he lifted his head from the pillow to beg, revealing the tear-stained pillowcase, you knew you were done.

"Baby, red," your voice cut clear through the hot air.

"Wh-what?" Hongjoong stumbled out dumbly, looking back at you in confusion. He was met with your sorry frown, one of your hands sliding down to smooth circles across his lower back before carefully pulling out of him. He wanted to whine at the sudden emptiness, but something told him he probably shouldn't make this about himself right now.

Gingerly, you grabbed his waist and flipped him over, making sure he was lying comfortably. "I'm sorry hun, but I don't think I can push through this one. You know I don't mind roughing you up one bit, but when I don't have the usual reassurance you give me throughout sex, it makes me feel like I'm actually hurting you."

Hongjoong pushed himself up on his elbows, eyes growing wide at your words. "But love, I said beforehand that I'd only be pretending, I even told you I was green when you'd asked! You didn't hurt me in any way, I promise."

You sighed, though a small smile still made its way onto your lips. "I know, babe, but even then, your acting started to feel a little too real. I mean, look at you, you literally have tears in your eyes," you said as you wiped his damp cheeks. "And I know you sometimes tear up even during milder scenes, but there I'm always sure you're actually enjoying yourself."

Hongjoong pondered your words, looking to the side with a serious expression.

"I'm still completely fine with throwing you around and punishing you when you get bratty, and hey, maybe we can try again another time in a more relaxed, beginner-friendly way, but for now, I want to be 100% sure you're on board with everything I'm doing."

After a moment, Hongjoong let out a sigh, wordlessly nodding as he shuffled onto his side and beckoned you over with open arms.

You took him up on the offer in a heartbeat, wanting nothing more than to hold your precious boyfriend and ease any remaining guilt you felt. Trying your best to work around the awkward slotting of your harness against him, you let yourself be wrapped up in his embrace.

"It's okay, love, I understand," Hongjoong began, giving you a soft kiss on the top of your head. "I know it won't change your mind right now, but please believe me when I say I really did like this a lot. I always tell you right away when I get even a little uncomfortable, you know that."

You hummed in agreement at his words, tucking your cheek further into his chest as your finger traced the tattoo on his arm.

"That being said, we can absolutely stop for today if you're not feeling it anymore. I thought this might be something fun and new for us to try, but it's also something I can absolutely do without, trust me. As much as you care about my comfort, I care about yours."

"...so you wouldn't be opposed to this turning into some soft, sappy lovemaking instead?" You asked with a shy smile, looking up to meet his loving gaze.

With a giddy laugh, he shook his head before getting up to straddle your lap. Cupping your cheeks with his warm hands, he swooped down for a big, fat smooch.

"Never."

Seonghwa (doing stuff in public, plugs, seonghwa spirals for a second)

For the longest time now, Seonghwa had been wanting to do something in public. You were unsure at first, considering how private the two of you were about your sex life. He insisted, though, claiming this would be different since no one around you would actually know what was happening. And so, the two of you agreed to try.

A few days later, you were getting ready for an outing with his friends and their partners. Deciding that this was a good opportunity for your little adventure, Seonghwa came up to you with a small, vibrating plug you sometimes used on him. Resisting the urge to take him right then and there with the way he bent over for you so prettily, you helped him put the toy inside. You hadn't even turned it on yet, but your boyfriend was already buzzing with excitement by the time you left your apartment.

But as the two of you arrived at the bar for the night, that excitement turned to something different. A vague unease, of sorts.

You could tell Seonghwa was nervous as he sat down at the far end corner of the booth, quietly eyeing the place as he stuck close to you. Grabbing his thigh, you successfully got his attention again, though not without a small, surprised flinch.

"Are you still okay with doing this, hun?" You asked tentatively, giving him an inquisitive look. Seonghwa gave you a soft smile, resting his slightly clammy hand atop yours. "Of course, whenever you're ready."

Truth be told, Seonghwa wasn't as sure about this as he had claimed to be. In his head, the idea always sounded so hot, being claimed by you in such an intense way with people around. Not to mention the thrill of sharing such a dirty secret between you, making him feel giddy at the added layer of intimacy.

But now, as the plug pressed against him from the inside every time he shifted around, the arousal and excitement he was expecting never really came. Instead, as he watched his friends gather around and chat, he started to feel dirty, and not in a good way. Every time his gaze flicked to someone's face, he could feel a strange churn in his stomach, a mix of shame and guilt swirling around inside. Everyone else thought this was just a normal, fun hangout with friends, so why did he have to bring his own twisted desires into it and force it upon them? And what was worse, despite his adamantly disagreeing brain, he still couldn't help but get aroused, cock starting to strain in his slacks and making him feel that much dirtier.

He couldn't do this. The wish to indulge his perversion just wasn't worth disrespecting his friends like this. They all looked so happy and unassuming and to think he'd even do something like this to them- oh god, he was starting to spiral.

You, on the other hand, either didn't notice his awkwardness or pretended not to, too busy talking to San's partner next to you to pay too much attention to him. You didn't turn on the plug right away either, deciding to wait a bit to surprise him instead.

The entire time you were chatting away with the others, Seonghwa watched you in anxious silence, ogling the small remote you were holding under the table. Waiting. He was feverishly contemplating whether to stop you now, to end the scene before it could even properly begin, but with all the stress and anxiety coursing through him, he couldn't help but freeze instead. You looked like you were having so much fun, and he didn't want to interrupt that by complaining about the thing he himself had brought up.

Clenching his fists in his lap, he tried to will his slowly rising hard-on down, but to no avail. As humiliating as his situation was, his body was reacting anyway. Maybe the humiliation even helped in some twisted way, who knows. He wouldn't be surprised, given how much of a gross pervert he was already-

He was brought out of his frantic thoughts when he saw your hand twitch. The movement was almost unnoticeable, but given how closely he was staring at your hand already, dreading this exact situation, it woke him up in record time. While you were laughing along at something Yunho had just said, he watched in slow motion as your thumb inched towards the small "On" button. There was genuine fear in his chest now, feeling as though he could only watch and not intervene, too small to do anything.

Until you hovered directly over the button and Seonghwa's body seemingly moved on its own.

His hand snapped forward to grab your wrist, almost making you drop the remote in surprise. His grip was tight, though you could feel a slight tremor in it as he held onto you.

Turning to look at him, your teasing smile quickly fell as you finally noticed his wide, shaky eyes.

"Baby, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

Your words came out hushed so as to not alert anyone beside the two of you, and yet the calming effect it had on Seonghwa was immediate. Despite his hold on your wrist staying firm, his shoulders noticeably relaxed, allowing him to let out a shaky breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"I- I," Seonghwa gulped, eyes glazing over slightly as all the suppressed tension suddenly released from his body, "I'm scared."

Your own chest tightened at that, moving your free hand to rest over his as you gave him a worried pout. "Do you want to wait a bit longer or should we just stop altogether?"

There wasn't a moment of hesitation before your boyfriend chose the latter, relieved when you immediately agreed. Putting the remote away, you stood up and quickly excused the two of you, lying about needing fresh air due to a headache. In times like these, you really were a lifesaver.

After shuffling out of the booth together, with Seonghwa holding your bag in front of his crotch as inconspicuously as he could, you headed straight for the bathroom. You waited for him outside while he took care of the toy, letting him borrow your handbag so that he had somewhere to put it.

A few minutes later, the bathroom door opened again, and outside stepped a considerably red but much calmer-looking Seonghwa. He sheepishly handed you your bag back before digging around his coat pockets, only to fish out a small bottle of hand sanitizer.

"How dumb of me to think they'd have paper towels in there instead of hand dryers. Now my hands are gonna feel gross for the rest of the night," he huffed half upset, half to ease the slightly awkward tension between the two of you.

"Yeah, I'm afraid we can't do much about that, baby," you replied sympathetically. "But besides that, you good?"

His blush deepened at your question, lips pressing together nervously. "Ah, uh, yeah, everything's fine. I guess I just expected this to feel a lot more fun and a lot less disrespectful. I couldn't look anyone in the eyes I felt so bad." He let out a small chuckle at the end, but you could tell he was more disappointed than anything. Whether in himself or the situation altogether, you didn't know.

You hummed in understanding, drawing closer to him as you put your hand on his arm. "It's okay, love, you didn't mean to disrespect anyone. And it's not like they had any idea, anyway. They won't be hurt by this, I promise. The only thing that happened tonight was that we figured out another boundary to be mindful of in the future."

We. Oh, how he loved that you said that. It was a small choice of words, and yet, in this situation, it meant the world to him. This wasn't him fucking up and being a terrible person, you were in this together and it really wasn't that big of a deal. Well, it was a big enough deal to make him never want to do this again, but as for this one-time mess-up, it really wasn't worth beating himself up over it.

"So, you ready to head back?" You took a step forward, offering him your hand.

He smiled sheepishly, lowering his gaze to your outstretched hand before enveloping it in his own.

"Of course, whenever you're ready."

Yunho (pet play, cfnm, collars and leashes)

Considering everything else up until now, it only made sense for the two of you to try this.

No matter who Yunho talked to, sooner or later, his behavior would be compared to that of a dog, or, more accurately, a puppy. He really liked the comparison, especially whenever you made it - including in the bedroom. Not to mention how he tended to refer to himself as Puppy too whenever he happened to fall a little too deep into subspace.

"Mmh, Puppy's gonna- Puppy needs-", "Please keep going, Puppy can take it, Puppy wants to be good for you!"

And so, one evening after an hour of passionate lovemaking where Yunho had once again slipped a bit too deep, the topic of his beloved pet name came up once more. Sooner or later, the conversation turned to pet play, with both of you agreeing to try it out to see if it would suit you. The two of you discussed in great detail both what you were curious about and what you wanted to avoid, snuggling even closer together at the exciting plans for the future.

No specific date was set, both to keep Yunho on his toes and to make everything feel more spontaneous. Nervous yet hopeful, he had no choice but to wait for you to initiate.

By the time Thursday rolled around, Yunho had partially forgotten about your promise, both because he didn't want to pressure either of you and because he was so caught up with work that he was glad his mind got any rest at all these days. And even though the big project he'd been working on was finally finished today and he could rest for a few days, he was still so mentally spent he had no energy to celebrate anymore.

Which is exactly why you picked Thursday as the day, since you knew your boyfriend could really use some time off from all the working and thinking. Not to mention you both had Friday off, meaning you had all the time to take this at your own pace.

Yunho quietly shuffled into your shared apartment, turning around to take off his coat and shoes. Putting everything away, he sluggishly turned back to face the hallway, only to startle as you suddenly appeared before him.

"Hey there," you smiled. "Long day at work, huh?"

Yunho blinked away his shock for a moment but smiled nonetheless, nodding softly. "Yeah, I feel like I'm too tired to even speak at this point."

To his surprise, his response only made you smile wider.

"Good things puppies don't need to speak then, right?"

Oh.

Oh.

You could see the succession of emotions flicker in your lover's eyes - confusion, realization, shock, excitement, nervousness, lust.

"Wait, are we really-"

You shushed him with a finger against his lips, tutting softly. "What did I just say, hm? No speaking, Pup. Not unless it's your safeword or something absolutely necessary. Got it?"

After processing your words for a second, all Yunho could do was nod meekly, meeting your gaze with his unsure one.

Your finger on his lips trailed to his cheek as you gently cupped it, rubbing his cheekbone with your thumb. "Good boy. Now come on, let's get these off."

Yunho stayed still for you while you pulled his sweater over his head, fixing his hair with a small giggle as you let the garment fall to the ground. You'd worry about that later.

His pants soon followed, and so did his boxers. You helped him step out of the fabric pooling around his ankles before grabbing one of his legs. He leaned against your shoulders for support as you took off his sock, setting his leg back down before repeating the same process with the other.

Just like that, Yunho was left completely bare before your still fully clothed form. Something about that contrast made him shiver, made him feel so much smaller than you despite your actual size difference.

It only took a small push on his shoulder to get him to kneel on the floor, looking up at you with nothing but trust and devotion.

"Now, Puppy," you began, not missing the chill running down his spine at the pet name, "there's one more thing we gotta do before we can really begin. Do you know what that is?"

Yunho shook his head no, eyeing you curiously.

You walked around him to where your coats and jackets hung by the door. You picked up a jacket, and Yunho could immediately see something hiding in one of its pockets. He knew what it was even before you had the chance to pull it out.

A collar.

A collar and a leash, to be exact.

"Now, I didn't get you a custom one or anything since we're just trying this out," you explained as you crouched down in front of him, "but if we do end up enjoying this, I'd love to get my puppy one that's made just for him. Would you like that, hun?"

It would appear Yunho was especially slow with responses today, too busy slipping into a different type of daze with each of your words and actions. He was scared to nod his head again since you were putting the collar on him right now, so a small whine had to do. Hopefully, you got the message.

The silent tension as you fixed the collar around his neck was broken with a final click! as you attached the leash to the front, completing the look you'd decided on for tonight. Making sure the collar wasn't too tight, you stuck two fingers under it, surprised to feel Yunho's racing pulse as well. He sure knows how to put on a calm facade.

Standing up on your feet again, you ignored the popping of your knees and straightened up with a small huff. You could only hope Yunho's knees would be more durable than yours.

"Look at you, my pretty pup," you cooed, leaning down to ruffle his hair a bit. "You're too cute to stay out here by the door, don't you think? Come, you deserve a snack for being such a good boy."

And with that, you began walking, leash in hand.

...Only to stop after two steps, feeling said leash tugging your hand back.

You staggered a bit but quickly regained balance, turning around with a raised brow. "Come on Puppy, what did I just say? So much for calling you a good boy when you can't even follow your owner."

Despite your disappointed tone, you were more worried than anything. You looked your boyfriend up and down, looking for any signs of discomfort, but found none. Although his eyes looked a bit hesitant, the steadily growing sight between his legs hinted that was more from the unfamiliarity of the situation rather than actual unease.

Before you could prod him any further, Yunho gingerly leaned forward, placing both palms on the hallway floor. Slowly, shyly even, he began crawling after you.

You watched the muscles in his back move as he clumsily approached you, not even bothering to sit again as his head hung low. "There's my good boy. You're doing so well!" You praised him earnestly, hoping to ease any potential embarrassment he might be feeling. This was supposed to be relaxing for him, after all.

Tugging on his leash again, you finally got him to crawl with you into the kitchen, where you pulled out a chair from the dining table.

Yunho, as expected, stayed on the ground. Just like before, he stayed on all fours, solidifying your decision to get him some knee pads if you were ever going to do this again.

Grabbing a small bowl of frosted wheats you'd prepared in advance, you sat down in front of him.

"Sit."

The command was simple enough for Yunho to follow almost immediately, showing his slightly red knees.

Happy with his fast response, you ruffled his head encouragingly. "Good boy! Here you go."

His eyes flicked up at your words, not expecting to see your hand outstretched with a single piece of cereal in it. His arms twitched as he wanted to grab it himself but quickly stopped at the pointed look in your eyes. The blush on his face grew even deeper as he realized what you wanted from him, lips tightly pressing together in embarrassment.

Nevertheless, he obeyed.

Shuffling forward the slightest bit, Yunho's eyes fluttered closed as he pressed his mouth to the "treat". A moment later, you felt his lips touch your palm for just a split second before retreating again, the small square peeking out from between them.

You watched as he ate it, waiting to give him his next command.

"Down."

A small whine left Yunho at your order, along with a pout settling on his still-red face. He was quite literally giving you puppy eyes.

You just tutted at him in disapproval, gently tugging at his leash to remind him who was in charge.

"Only good boys get treats, Pup, come on. Down."

With his bottom lip still jutting out and his brows furrowed, he finally did as you said, lowering himself to rest his forearms against the cold kitchen tiles.

"There you go! Good boy," you praised him again, letting him sit back up before handing him another piece of cereal. He took it into his mouth with no hesitation this time, and you were pleased to see him getting used to his new role.

Until you got to your next command, that was.

As you watched Yunho swallow his second treat, you opened your mouth to give him the order you were looking forward to the most:

"Speak."

Like the flip of a switch, you could see all of the tension and hesitance return to his body at once. His hands fidgeted in his lap, eyes refusing to look anywhere but the floor.

"Puppy," you spoke in a warning tone, drawing a small whimper from the man before you. "Why are you being so difficult? You know what to do."

Taking a few shallow breaths, Yunho seemed to be steeling himself for something. You watched as he took another, longer breath, chest rising as he looked at you with determination - only to crumble again immediately.

"What is it, hun?" You asked gently, leaning down to pet his hair comfortingly. "Come on, you can do it. This is the last one and then we're gonna move on to something else, okay?"

You thought he'd agree, that this was just one of those moments of uncertainty where your boyfriend needed to be reassured before you could continue.

But, to your surprise, he shook his head.

Worry flooded your heart this time, making your chest tighten. The hand in his hair slipped down to his chin, gently tipping it up to make him look at you. But as he finally met your gaze again, you were met with an even more unsure set of puppy eyes than before.

"Oh honey, what's wrong? Is this too much?"

Hesitantly, Yunho nodded.

"I'm sorry, it's just-" he took a deep breath, curling in on himself slightly, "it's weird, I can't do it."

"What's weird?"

"I don't know," he replied. "I- I thought I'd like this- and some of it I do, really! The collar, the leash, the crawling around, the way you were talking to me, all of it was nice in itself, but when it's all combined like this and I can't even talk to you properly, it just..."

You waited for him to continue, but nothing. "'It just' what?" You softly prodded further, voice coming out in almost a whisper.

Yunho let out another conflicted sigh, pressing his cheek down against your thigh.

"It just feels too dehumanizing," he admitted at last. "And, like, I guess that's the intended effect, but, I don't know. I guess I still need to feel at least a little human even when you treat me like a dog, as confusing as that is. Less barking, more talking, so to speak."

You chuckled at his simplified explanation, making him smile as well.

"I mean, we're still going to need to discuss this later to make sure I know exactly what you mean and want," you began, "but I think I understand it well enough for now. And I'm sorry if I pushed you too far, you could have stopped me way sooner."

"It's okay," Yunho hummed. "We planned all of this together so I knew what to expect. I just needed a bit to decide if I liked it or not, and what exactly I didn't like about it."

You nodded at his explanation, silently petting his hair.

"Well," you spoke up again, making Yunho raise his head from your lap, "I think we should end it here, then - for today, at least. What do you want to do instead? Do you want to take this to the bedroom and do something more familiar, or do you want me to go get your clothes and just stop altogether?"

Yunho weighed his options for a minute, eyebrows furrowing together in concentration.

"Would you be upset if I said I wanted to stop completely?" He sheepishly asked, worried you would take it the wrong way. "Not because you did something bad or anything, I just feel a bit more soft than spicy at the moment."

To his relief, you just chuckled, leaning closer to remove his collar along with the leash. "Of course I won't be upset, Yuyu. Tonight is meant to be about you, to help you relax after all the work you've had to do lately. I want to do whatever makes you happy."

"So you wouldn't mind cuddling on the couch while we finish that box of cereal on the table?"

"I'd love that."

Yeosang - (mirror sex, body insecurities)

You were lying under the covers, phone in hand, mindlessly scrolling while you waited for your boyfriend to get ready for bed. You had no problem staying up for him since he was usually rather quick. This time, however, you were beginning to grow impatient, seeing you'd already been waiting almost double the normal time.

Ten more minutes stretched on, steadily adding to your irritation. You'd already called out to Yeosang once to hurry up, only getting a startled "Y-yeah! Just give me a minute!" in return.

Even after said minute, though, your boyfriend seemed nowhere near done. The shower wasn't even running anymore, having been turned off a good while ago. Just what was he doing in there?

Having had enough, you got up with a huff, stomping over to the door again. As expected, it was unlocked. Yeosang didn't really bother with locking it since you never came in unless it was an emergency.

"Yeo, I'm going in, this is getting ridiculous," you announced as you began opening the door. It had been a while since he'd finished showering anyway, so you shouldn't walk in on anything too crazy.

It would appear that your presence was still rather unwelcome, though, as Yeosang squeaked out a jumbled mess of stuttered protests at the door creaking open. And yet, he made no real effort to keep you out, likely too surprised to react in time.

Your brows furrowed as you took in the sight of him, standing before the mirror in nothing but his boxers and arms shielding his chest. "What are you doing?"

Yeosang froze at your question, frantically searching for an answer. "I- I, uh, I was just... looking?"

"At what? Yourself?"

When he sheepishly nodded, you couldn't help but chuckle. "Hun, it's been like fifteen minutes since the shower's turned off. Don't tell me you've been standing here this whole time."

His silence was enough of a response.

"Yeo," you sighed, closing the door behind you before walking over to where he stood.

He stayed quiet as you appeared next to him in the mirror's reflection, avoiding both your and his eyes. Soft arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer.

"You should get dressed, love," you murmured against his shoulder before giving it a small kiss. "It's too cold in here."

Once again, he nodded wordlessly, looking around for his pajama shirt, only to find you already offering it to him. You helped him put it on, and he had to admit, the shirt did make him a lot more comfortable for a multitude of reasons.

"So what were you doing in here, hm?" You asked again, and Yeosang inwardly sighed. He should have known you wouldn't give up so easily. "You said you were looking at yourself, but why? What is there to examine so thoroughly?"

You tried to speak lightly, not wanting the atmosphere to get too serious and make Yeosang feel too exposed. Or not more than he'd already been, rather.

"I, um," he began, unsure of how to put all the bad thoughts raging in his head into words, "I don't know. I just feel like I've gotten worse, somehow? Like the reflection in front of me isn't exactly what I remember it to be."

Ah. Now you understood.

"Honey..." you called out to him softly, opening your arms to invite Yeosang into your embrace.

This wasn't exactly a new state for Yeosang, as you'd found him in similar headspaces in the past. Ones where despite his incredible looks and physique, he couldn't quite see them for himself anymore, feeling a vague sense of deterioration instead.

You'd do your best to console him, of course, and with enough patience and effort, it always worked, nurturing your boyfriend back into his happy, confident mindset. And so, you didn't let his defeated words deter you, knowing you'd get him right back on his feet again in no time.

You could feel some of the tension release from his shoulders as he melted into you, hiding his face in the crook of your neck while your fingers brushed through his soft hair. Your other hand slowly slid up his shirt, giving him ample time to stop you just in case, but he let you keep going. You came to a stop at his shoulder blades, feeling around the expanse of his back before giving him light scratches. The touch made him shudder in your hold, sighing contently into your skin and making you smile in return.

"I know you probably won't believe me right now," you began in a hushed voice, "which is already crazy to me because you know that I'd never, ever lie to you about something like this," Yeosang nodded into the crook of your neck, signaling to you that he was listening, "but please believe me when I tell you that nothing's different about you. You are, were, and will always be my handsome, gorgeous, beautiful, breathtaking piece of art of a boyfriend."

Yeosang shifted a bit in your hold, hands coming down to tightly clutch at your shirt.

"I'd love to list all of the things I love about you, but I'm afraid we'd be stuck in this bathroom for the next few days," you joked, earning a small huff from him. "So let me just name a few for now, hm? Let you see yourself a bit through my eyes instead of yours."

After a beat of silence, you could feel a shy nod against your shoulder.

Taking that as your cue to continue, you straightened up, gently prying Yeosang from your embrace. His eyes flicked to yours for a split second, full of nervousness and vulnerability.

As softly as you could, you grabbed his shoulders and nudged him to turn around, Yeosang confusedly complying until you stopped him right in front of the mirror. He met his own eyes on accident before quickly looking away again, finding the bathroom counter in front of him much more interesting.

You, however, couldn't have that, reaching up to take hold of his chin and tilting it back in the direction of the mirror. "Don't look away, Yeo," you chided softly. "I want you to admire yourself with me."

Your words caused another shiver to run down his spine, somehow feeling more exposed like this than when you'd entered the bathroom a few minutes ago.

"Now, where to begin," you muttered mostly to yourself, looking him up and down in the mirror. "Let's just start at the top, shall we?"

You began with his hair, freshly brushed and incredibly soft as always. You played around with the strands as you showered him with compliments, twisting them in this and that direction, making Yeosang smile.

You then moved on to exactly that next, pointing out his pretty lips and an even more beautiful smile, causing his cheeks to redden as his expression turned bashful.

His striking eyes and adorable birthmark followed before you began trailing lower, now focused on his firm, wide shoulders. Your eyes were locked onto Yeosang's the whole time, watching his gaze flit between yours and whatever part of him you were currently appreciating. As the minutes dragged on and you moved from one spot to the next, pressed up against your boyfriend's back, you could see his eyes slightly gloss over, a dazed look creeping into them.

"Now, for one of my absolute favorites," you announced with a playful grin as your hand trailed down from his collarbone, grabbed the hem of his shirt, and tugged it up. You looked at Yeosang pointedly as you held the bunched-up fabric in front of him, waiting for him to get the message. You could hear his breath hitch as the realization dawned on him, meeting your eyes unsurely before leaning forward and biting down. You just gave him a proud smile, petting the back of his head before returning your hand to his front. You took your time, languidly moving down his sternum before taking a sharp turn to grab one of his pecs. Yeosang gasped at the sensation, reaching back to hold onto your thigh for support.

"I've said this a million times already, but God, do I love your boobs," you spoke dreamily, squeezing the muscle under your fingers. Yeosang squirmed in your hold, kept in place by your other hand clutching his hip.

A small, weak sound reverberated in his chest as your pointer finger drew circles into his skin, dangerously closing in on his nipple. His eyes stayed completely focused on your hand now, steeling himself for the inevitable pinch. It didn't do much, though, as you still managed to squeeze a delicious whimper out of him when you finally did it, making him press back into your body.

"You're always so sensitive here, aren't you?" You teased, brushing over the bud with your thumb to soothe it before moving to do the same with the other one. "I can never get enough of playing with them."

By the time you were done with his chest and began trailing even lower, Yeosang was panting. His hold on your thigh tightened, trying to keep himself steady even when his legs started to go weak from your ministrations. His other hand grabbed the wrist of yours holding onto his hip, as if scared you'd even think about letting go.

But while your words and caresses clearly had a very positive effect on your boyfriend, you weren't exactly content just yet.

You could tell he was slowly gaining some of his usual confidence back through your touches and words of appreciation, and yet, his eyes kept slipping away from his form in the mirror. Every time he'd do so, you'd sternly remind him where to look, to enjoy his body with you.

At first, he obeyed, meeting your eyes through the reflection again with an even darker blush spreading through his face and down his neck. Once you got below his neckline, small whines of protest joined his responses, but he listened nonetheless.

But the moment your hand finally landed on his crotch, a switch seemingly flipped inside of him.

You smirked as he let out a pathetic whimper, his faint abs visibly tensing at the feeling. "And what do we have here?"

With the shirt still in his mouth, Yeosang couldn't exactly answer, limited to nothing but desperate whines and panting. Even then, he tried to make his feelings clear, turning his head away to try and hide into your neck again.

You were quick to stop him, though, untangling your wrist from his grip to hold his jaw in place.

"No, no," you tutted. "You know better than that, don't you?"

And Yeosang, being your lovely little good boy, almost conceded again, the tension in his neck easing as he slowly began to turn back.

But the moment the hand on his hard-on began moving, he knew he was done.

You wavered for a second as Yeosang suddenly whipped around, too fast for you to stop him this time, and shoved his face into your shoulder. A part of you wanted to scold him again, yet something told you now might not be the best time.

"Hun?" You asked softly, rubbing circles into his back. "You okay? Talk to me."

It took Yeosang a moment to realize through the haze in his mind that he still had the shirt in his mouth. Taking out the now wrinkled material, he hid his face back in your shoulder.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do it like this," he muttered, and you could feel the heat radiating off his cheeks. "Everything else was okay, even if a bit embarrassing, but it feels really weird to be looking at myself while you do... that."

You hummed thoughtfully, ruminating over his words. "So you're saying everything we did before that was okay? Do you think it helped you at least a little, or should we do something different?"

Yeosang shook his head. "No, no, it was really nice, actually. I was embarrassed at first, but once I pushed through that, it actually felt very comforting," he admitted, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"I mean, if you could push through that initial embarrassment and ended up enjoying it, then, maybe..." you trailed off, snaking a hand between your bodies to tease at the hem of his boxers, "even this could work?"

Much to your disappointment, Yeosang vehemently shook his head, tightening his hold on you. "N-no, I really don't think so. Everything else made me feel more confident and comfortable over time, but this instantly made me self-conscious all over again. It just- it feels weird to watch myself like that, I don't know."

"It's okay," you replied, retracting your hand to put it on the small of his back instead. "If it doesn't feel right, then that's that. As long as I helped you feel even a little bit better about yourself, I'm happy."

Yeosang couldn't help the small, shy smile that spread across his lips. He knew words couldn't describe just how much you cared about him, and yet, with the two of you standing here like this, baring your hearts to each other, it was almost palpable.

What was even more palpable, however, was the obvious, unresolved problem pushing into your thigh.

You pulled away slightly, just enough to look into your boyfriend's eyes again.

"So..." you began, a coy smile on your lips, "since we said no more mirrors for now, how about we take this somewhere else and I make you feel even better?"

Yeosang's eyes widened at your offer before a small, bashful grin appeared on his face. "If you'd be so kind."

You chuckled at his sweet tone, knowing far too well his thoughts were anything but sweet right now. Nevertheless, you grabbed his hand and opened the bathroom door again.

"Then follow me, pretty boy."

taglist: @justconniez @domribo @another-random-fanfic-blog @imrllytootiredforthis

Thank you for reading! And remember, feedback is always very appreciated! <3

[majorlysapphic]

I have a lot of time to kill and noticed that the bridgella shippers deserve some attention, so it's time for my train travelling brain splurge (it will be angsty, I'm warning you now). :)

(TW: mentions of living in a heteronormative society/homophobia/internalised homophobia).

(Glassheart will be mentioned in the end because I want to do a part 2 of this post).

Now, I'm presenting an 80's Celebrity/Performer AU!

Now, I imagine both of the girls got into performing in very different ways.

Bridget came from a very privileged background where she was able to be put in various music/acting/dance lessons at a young age. I'd imagine she started her trajectory into stardom very young, starting with modelling and acting before shifting into music (though I'd assume she'd still have a cover/runway girl reputation which she revisits here and there). Bridget would have started off as a 'girl next door' archetype, but once settling into her music career, she would soon settle into an untouchable, bubbly pop princess persona. An IT girl with a stage name of "The Queen of Hearts."

For Ella, I imagine one of the only belongings that she has from her late mother is a guitar, so she's always made a small effort to learn, though that effort increased exponentially once her dad passed and she was left to live with her step family. On her eighteenth birthday, she's not legally required to be her step-mothers 'problem' anymore, so with her few belongings and her treasured guitar, Ella begins her journey to be a performer. She works her way up to the top with a ferocious determination, going from busking on the streets during day and waiting tables at night to meet ends meet, to performing as Auradon’s break out 'riot grrrl' by doing random gigs and opening acts. And when she finally gets a label to fund her first proper album, she's asked if she'd like to take on a stage name. Then is when she decides to title herself as 'Cinderella' for a final middle finger to the family that rejected her (by making a horrid nickname given to her turn into a marker of her success).

Both Ella and Bridget carry on their own careers aware of each others existence. But they only properly meet once their music labels want them to collaborate on a few songs for their latest albums they're working on.

And since Ella's manager believes she should reach out to a bigger audience and create a more positive public image for herself (after a few disaster interviews), Ella agrees. And when it comes to Bridget's PR team, they're trying to make her shake off her untouchable status, given that it has some negative repercussions (as there's a decent chunk of people out there with the view that Bridget is 'too fake' and that she 'probably let all that fame get to her head'). So Bridget ends up agreeing to the collaboration.

They meet at a recording studio, and their meeting isn't exactly ideal. Bridget is her typical self: bright, bubbly, friendly. But Ella doesn't know that's what Bridget is actually like. She thinks she's just meeting Bridget's celebrity persona that won't be shaken off, and she hates it. So after a few minutes of (attempted) polite conversation, it gets awkward and silent between the two. The vibe doesn't seem to get better when they're trying to write new lyrics and compose together, Bridget and Ella mix as well as oil and water does, and everyone in the studio can see it. So after a failure of a music making month, both their managers put a pause on their albums in order to run a PR plan.

Ella and Bridget are tasked with going completely public with their 'friendship' prior to announcing their collaboration. And hopefully, if the prayers of their managers are answered, they'll finally warm up to each other (which is necessity for future interviews).

They begin with a magazine cover together which creates a whole wave of surprise with both their fanbases (who are as opposite as opposites can be), and from there it's hangouts across A-list places (photographed/filmed by strategically placed paparazzi). And before they know it, Ella and Bridget have made headlines as Auradon's most surprisingly iconic best friends.

Though what's more surprising is that after all this, they are still awkward with each other. Sure, they may be a bit more comfortable, but the improvement is inadequate to what was expected of them. But oh well, what are their managers supposed to do about it? They're going to have to shrug it off and carry on making their albums with forced smiles.

But then, when they're finally left alone in a recording studio is when their bond flourishes. Because, wow, Ella is finally making sense of the fact that the Bridget she met on her first day at the studio was actually the real Bridget. And Bridget is starting to appreciate the complexity of Ella's character, and putting together the puzzle pieces to find out Ella is a really genuine person. A specific type of person that is far and few in Auradon's celebrity scene. The type of person she wants as a friend.

So, they finally ditch the picture perfect scenes they were set up to be in and spend their time together after recording just getting to know each other. As Bridget and Ella instead of The Queen of Hearts and Cinderella. They spend lazy nights in watching bad films, they go out to underground parties, they find a favourite ice cream parlour which they go to every Friday.

They're finally friends. And once their respective albums release, featuring each other (in more songs that was ever expected), they're soaring from the success of the careers.

The next few years are spent in the middle of the spot light. Ella has a much wider fanbase as she appears much more approachable (with the help of Bridget practising interviews with her) and Bridget remains a number one star, helped by the fact people have started to properly relate to her now that she (with the encouragement of Ella) is happy to show some of her more imperfect sides that adds some edge to her pop princess persona.

It's glitz and glam. It's red carpet looks. It's having their posters plastered in every corner. It's living together to set the ideal standard of how life can get if you stick to your closest friends and work hard.

...It's secrets and unspoken truths.

Because after all this time, they're best friends. Of course they are. But throughout the years, there are moments which could indicate different.

They don't talk about it. They really shouldn't. It's always the wrong place. The wrong time. What they have is inherently 'wrong'.

But... Too much is too much, and they have to talk about it. Because Bridget can't stand the multiple occasion's when they're in the safety of their own home, with their lips just about brushing, only for Ella to cast a look of doubt and pull away, pretending nothing happened. Because Ella feels like her heart is being ripped out whenever Bridget is back with her on-again-off-again PR boyfriend, only for Bridget to tearfully confess that nothing feels right when she's with him compared to when she's with Ella (and Ella has to grit her teeth every time, because Bridget's 'boyfriend' is the bassist to a wildly popular punk group, 'Uliana's Crew', and she knows that in the publics eyes, she can't match the debonair charm of James Hook. Even if she can be a better partner to Bridget in so many ways).

Neither of them can stomach another night after award shows, dressed to the nines and drunk on disgustingly expensive champagne, trading touches that are too intimate for 'just friends' and whispering in each others ears in the corner of a room. They can no longer ignore the curious looks they get from the people closest to them when they both release album after album, the songs within so obviously being able to be seen as romantic so long as the listener knows the right context the lyrics are referring to. So long as the listener starts swapping 'he' to 'she' in their head during the song.

The confrontation is full of tears and anguish. Both of them know what they feel but neither fully express it.

Bridget, whilst being privileged in many aspects, comes from background where anything out of the norm is unacceptable (she knows, but never says, that the reason she was supported in her career by her family is due to the fact that they thought it was a passing interest. Something that would leave, but once she took off into stardom, it was too late to take things back). She's been put on a pedestal all her life, and what could other's think (her fans, who she lives and breathes and performs for) if she finally speaks up on the fact that she's never been interested in boys. Even thinking of the fact makes her nauseous, because after so long listening to others, she also feels its wrong, even though it feels the exact opposite.

It kills her inside to know that Auradon would be raving about how much they adore the match between a conventional pop princess and a jaded/edgy artist, so long as said artist was a boy.

And when it comes to Ella. She has built her entire livelihood off of her music. It's the one thing that's kept her going in her roughest moments - she has no clue what meaning she'd find in life if she lost it. Because whilst her fans are more accepting (hell, a large percentage are part of the LGBTQ+ community themselves), she knows that other people won't be. That they'd pull her limb from limb and strip her of her career which she gave everything in her for, as an act for revenge for 'spoiling' the 'perfect' image of Bridget they had in their narrow-minded heads. She hates it. She hates The Queen of Hearts. And she loves Bridget.

In conclusion: Bridget would be okay with being in love with Ella if Ella wasn't a girl, and Ella would be okay with being in love with a girl, if the girl wasn't Bridget.

So, they agree to be friends. Carry on as if the talk never happened. They know their limits with each other (even if they are constantly breaking them). And yes, there are slip ups.

Said slip ups act as the highlight of their lives. Said slip ups will cause their downfall: because on a singular occasion, a picture is taken (it's contents: Ella and Bridget sneaking out of a rehearsal studio late at night, hands interlocked, hair messy, lipstick smudged).

The picture goes viral. Passed around. Talked about. Theorised. Concluded on.

Both Bridget and Ella are sent into a panic. What do they do? It's the early stages of their situation being revealed (and they're already seeing hateful responses), and both silently loathe it. The cherry on top? It's not even based in fact, because neither have allowed themselves to even have each other in anyway that they want. Their appearances that night were purely from a hectic rehearsal.

Their PR teams jump to salvage what they can. And when Ella meets Bridget's fearful eyes, they both know it's the end of them. In the following months, they move into their own separate homes and their contact is fleeting. Eventually, the rumours and hate turn into whispers.

But they will never recover.

They'll never be alone in the same room together, ever again.

In the same year of this scandal, a large announcement of Bridget Hearts and James Hook's engagement will ring through all media outlets. The perfect pair: a sweet pop princess (that has been cherished by the kingdoms since her debut into performance as a child) and Auradon's resident, suave 'bad boy' ready to settle down. They're picture perfect. Ella feels sick (so does Bridget), and she makes sure to cross out a firm rejection on her invite to the wedding.

And Ella forces herself to move on. She finds a calm yet fun actor, Christopher Charming. She decides to try love him. She can love him. She does love him in her own way. It's not as bright and golden as her love is was for Bridget, but it's quiet and safe. And he understands her and keeps all her secrets, and that's all she can ever ask for.

Years go on and they live finding other joys to go off of. Life is hard but not impossible without each other, and they try to be happy for one another. Bridget sends a bouquet of flowers to congratulate Ella's marriage to Charming (as a way to say she's happy for her, because Bridget really really wants Ella happy... And as a way to apologise for the fact she can't be there to attend the ceremony). Ella sends presents for Bridget's final show (Bridget's much too tired to perform for another tour, and if she gave any more of herself to The Queen of Hearts, all she'd be left with is bones) where Bridget announces she will be starting 'Wonderland Records', a music label aiming to help artists from unfortunate backgrounds succeed. Bridget gives a supportive smile from across the room when Ella announces she'll be retiring at her final albums award ceremony.

They go on with life, and after both have stepped away from the spot light, they don't expect to ever encounter one another properly anymore.

And that holds true... Until you put their daughters into the scene. Because despite their warnings, both Red and Chloe have followed in their footsteps to become Auradon's newest stars.

With new trends coming around and an increasing demand to see artists perform everywhere, Red and Chloe often encounter each other, especially at music festivals. And they despise each other (even if they're a fan of each others music). But you know what people say. There's a thin line between love and hate (and that history tends to repeat itself).

The next thing Ella and Bridget know, they're witnessing their daughters slowly fall in love. Unashamedly. In front of the whole world to see.

And this time, it ends well.

And when attending a final festival for the summer to support their daughters, they watch as Red plays a song dedicated to Chloe. They watch as a lovesick Chloe hops onto stage, and kisses a flustered Red in front of thousands of people and camera's. They hear people cheer in support.

Because a queer love story is just as natural as any other. It was a long, long wait for society to be like this. But it finally is. And it is perfect for their daughters, who were born at the right time for their type of love which they show off so loudly and proudly.

Ella and Bridget meet each others eyes from the wings of the stage, waiting for their daughters to meet them on either side. And they give a friendly smile. Because whilst they couldn't give each other what they wanted, they're more than happy to give the world to their daughters.

They'll continue to be friendly to each other, and eventually become casual friends, but never anything more. Not in this lifetime.

-------------------------------

Wow that was fun to write!! Hope you enjoyed reading this!! Phoebe Bridgers 'Moon Song' set the perfect tone for me to write this post, haha. <3333

[icyg4l]

PAC: How Does Your Higher Self Define Womanhood?

Hello, beautiful people. Today marks the last post of the Women’s History Month series & one of two posts made today! I am excited to continue to create content for you guys. And I am even more grateful for the support I have received as of lately. Because of this, I will continue to post creative tarot readings. So, without further ado, please pick your pile.

Left-to-Right: (1-4)

Pile 1: Pile One, your story reminds me of the Miss Congeniality plot. Basically, Sandra Bullock plays a detective that goes undercover as a beauty pageant contestant. At first, she rejects the ideas of what it means to be a “girly girl” but eventually conforms to the standards. She viewed femininity as a sign of weakness and did not like being around other women because she felt that she had to prove herself to be tough. But she gained respect for the girls who worked in these pageants as she worked undercover because she began to acknowledge the hard work it takes to be in the pageants. By the end, she is closer to her womanhood. You have a similar story. I doubt that you’re a detective reading this but I feel as though you may have the tendency to thoroughly investigate any piece of information. To your higher self, womanhood means constantly being on the search for answers to placate the inner child wounds that lie within you. I feel like when you were younger, you may have been an outcast or a tomboy, maybe both. Because of this, you have set a lifelong quest to figure out what being a woman means to you whether it is intentional or not. Your higher self wants you to know that being a woman comes with all types of trauma, but remembering that you do not have to face it alone. You do not have to carry the burdens alone. You see, women are conditioned to be demure for the sake of keeping the peace but that’s not what works for you. Embrace the messy parts of yourself because if you don’t, life will get boring. Part of your mission is being aware of your multifaceted nature; reject conformity, embrace the abnormal, babe.

Cards Used: The Sun, 4 of Cups, 4 of Swords, 5 of Wands, Ace of Cups, The Magician, 5 of Cups, 3 of Cups, 3 of Swords.

Signs: Aquarius, Libra, Leo, Sagittarius.

extras: money getter. cash grabs. “low hanging fruit.” airhead. wallpaper. phineas and ferb. “sharon.” beetles. s.o.s. by rihanna. “tinge of an accent.” sweet. mirrors. coconut trees. hawaii. stubborn. radioactive.

Pile 2: Pile Two, there is a similar vibe that you have to Pile One, except I don’t think that you have problems with accepting your femininity. I think that you have problems with how masculines function in society. I am sensing a Lori Harvey type of energy here. This is likely related to the way that you operate when it comes to love. People tend to want to possess you so that they can show you off like a trophy. But your higher self wants you to know the difference between users and the genuine thing. I feel like you’ve developed this flighty persona to protect yourself from harm. While experiencing the many tribulations of womanhood, you have adopted the “flights over feelings” type of mindset. How has that been working out for you? No, really. Is it actually working or have you convinced yourself that it has. As a woman, your higher self thinks that womanhood is finding love in a loveless world. This isn’t necessarily about romance, but it’s just a mindset that you should adopt. It will save you from falling victim to the cycles of toxicity that plague society. It’s a cold world out here, babe but it doesn’t mean that you have to be as cold as the world. Part of your mission is forgiving yourself and those who hurt you so that you can see the beauty in the world. With this newfound sight of beauty, there comes true inner power.

Cards Used: The Devil, 7 of Discs (RX), 8 of Wands, The Hierophant, 3 of Swords, 3 of Cups, 10 of Discs, The Star, 10 of Cups (RX).

Signs: Capricorn, Cancer, Scorpio, Virgo.

extras: two can play that game. all about love by bell hooks. renegade. open arms. country music lover. tony montana. archer (2009). “logan.” phoenix rising. “marcus.” ashy. corny. cerebellum. stupendous.

Pile 3: Pile Three, your higher self defines womanhood as something that is both sweet and sour. It is something that she takes for granted but it is also something that she takes pride in. It’s a strength but also a weakness. I feel like I am talking to someone who has an ingenue/youthful spirit. I channeled the character Darla from The Little Rascals but I also channeled Charlotte from Princess and the Frog. You seem to be very in tune with your inner child and there is nothing wrong with that. Your inner child is heavily protected by the teenaged version of yourself, which seems very angry. These different versions of yourself often clash with one another, which can lead to bouts of depression and confusion. Your higher self is a woman who pours into herself through movement and self-expression. You need to channel these negative energies into creativity or else you will be stifled by your own thoughts. You honestly need to get out of your head. Your higher self feels as though there is a flip side to every coin that you get. For example, if you are having period pains, it may hurt but at least you’re not pregnant! Looking on the brighter side of life is how you can be closer to your higher self.

Cards Used: 5 of Swords, 6 of Swords, Page of Swords, Justice, 4 of Cups, Ace of Cups, Ace of Discs, 5 of Wands, The Hanged Man.

Signs: Leo, Pisces, Aries, Gemini.

extras: janet jackson. “i’m da man.” we will rock you. parties. diva. elle magazine. shapely. “how’d you figure?” honest answers only. maya angelou. glorilla. lola bunny. fatigue. body aches. deodorant. small bowls. annual. prayers. mark on the cheek. boot camp. “your highness.” shredded cheese. livelihood.

Pile 4: And last but not least, Pile Four. I feel like you are well sought after in the most lusty way possible. This has its perks, but lately, you feel like it has more cons than anything. I feel like you’re someone who always seems to feel isolated because of this. As a result, your higher self views womanhood as foreign. The amount of power that you hold as a woman is beyond explanation. There are so many ways that you can present yourself, Pile Four. I don’t think you have realized your true potential. Yes, you have gone through trauma because people assumed that you could handle the weight of the world but this means nothing to your spirit. Wake up! Don’t you realize how unique you are? Pile Four, womanhood can really only be defined by you, not by anyone else. The prioritization of yourself will help you make a name for yourself. You could be in your 20s, tired and just wanting a change. Well, your higher self wants you to know that change will come once you begin to change the narrative yourself. If you believe something about yourself that was told to you by someone else, then it means that you’re easily moldable. Being a woman means rising to the top even through the facings of opposition. You are a fighter. So the question is: when are you going to jump in the ring and fight for your sense of self, Pile Four.

Cards Used: Ace of Cups, Queen of Wands, 3 of Discs, Knight of Discs, Ten of Swords, 4 of Discs, The Hermit, Queen of Swords, 9 of Discs.

Signs: Gemini, Pisces, Cancer, Virgo.

extras: “tart.” “fresh out the shower.” burgundy. melons. net worth. SWer. dollar bills. illegal documents. molly. friendless. stoned. be your own boss. cake baker. sister, sister. wiseman. silly goose. fall. saturn.