#first PARAGRAPH in fact

[cbk1000]

I have two secrets about fanfiction to reveal, and everyone brace themselves: they're earth-shattering:

You don't have to read a fanfic. Yes, even if it's a Fandom Classic!

If you start a fic and realise it's not your cup of tea, you can just stop reading it.

[chapollynh]

I finished DS9 and here's my first offering to the fandom.

The show is just SO GOOD!! I wanna talk about it so bad, so I will spam the tags quite a bit... My bad. Also, the people who said Bashir would get better - you were right, he became a lot more fun! Plus he's got a teddy bear, that's peak character right there.

[vardapilled]

yikes. u wanna be oppressed so bad.

adding, “i’m proud of my skin color” in the same post and thinking it’s a brave statement when historically you’ve had next to zero push back for that. this isn’t the radical hot take you think it is. Screencaps of ​this post (even in excerpts) and these tags are heinous:

[ryllen]

Look what came through the mail today! The letters & ( •̀ω•́ )σ 3 little gremlins from letterstoear.

Just wanna say i adore the flower stickers on the letters too much, they are that much worth mentioning.

[storytimewithtibby]

warnings: gun play/insertion, misues of firearm, Harvey Dent x reader word count: 2,507 work - a taste of ivory

a/n - fun fact the average "acceptable" length of a magnum barrel is 5", as the vaginal canal can be, stay safe guys tag - @welcomtothevoid

     Unsure as to how he wanted you over the desk, you slowly worked your way onto your feet and turned to stare down at the surface. The throb between your legs far outweighed logical thought, and you undid your pants and pushed both them and your underwear down your hips before bending over the desk with your hands still restrained in front of you. 

     Which, incidentally, placed your fingers within reach to do something about the slick that coated your inner thighs, and the pulsing ache between them. Slowly dragging your middle finger back and forth along your labia, you were rewarded with a low groan. The chair creaked, the sound of fabric shifting, your body clenched around nothing as you continued to move your finger. 

“Ambitious.’ 

     The word was growled, and a shiver rolled down your spine feeling a hand smooth up your thigh to grasp one cheek and squeeze. Hard enough you squirmed in an attempt to move away, not that there was anywhere for you to go. Metal brushed your knuckles, startling you, pressing your middle finger in slowly at the silent order. 

     But you’ve only managed a few slow thrusts of your finger before the muzzle of the gun is pressing against your entrance. Slowly sliding in as you go very still, ignoring the gush of fluid that trickled past the barrel. It had to be something in the water, reluctantly admitting it wasn’t just the Rogues that were… wired different. The metal dragged against your walls, which squeezed around the intrusion, his hand kneading your ass cheek as your body eagerly worked. 

“Good dolly, that’s real nice.’

     As the muzzle pulled back, your hips shifted, rocked as you lightly circled your clit trying to finish climbing that peak. It wasn’t what you’d been expecting, though you weren’t all that surprised. He didn’t pull the gun completely free, pushing it back in with a low noise in his throat that vibrated across your skin like you were a tuning fork. 

     It became clear very quickly that he hadn’t fully sheathed the metal inside you when he kept pushing, a soft squelching noise reaching your ears as fluid was forced out. Forehead resting on the desk, you were very glad he couldn’t see your face, the conflicting emotions on your face caught between lust and hints of shame. The fact it was only hints said a lot, but you weren’t interested in listening to anything other than the way Harvey talked you through the slow measured fuck on his magnum. 

     The way he crooned the word dolly was going to haunt you, breath catching as the muzzle rested against your cervix then pressed. The discomfort warred with the feeling of the now warm metal being squeezed deep inside you. With the pleasure twisting low in your belly as he murmured praise. 

“Look at this pretty pussy,’ he crooned, starting shallow thrusts that bumped insistently into the end of you. “She wants something a little thicker than Ivory, don’t she?’ 

     When you didn’t answer, not that you needed to, he was perfectly capable of seeing how you clenched around the gun at his observations, Harvey’s kneading hand squeezed. Going up onto the balls of your feet, he chuckled slowly pulling the gun loose. A thin line drawn between relief and disappointment, going onto your toes as the heel of his hand continued to press. 

“Yeah she does. We can help with that.’ 

     You almost didn’t want the help, missing the feel of Ivory dragging back and forth inside you, the threat overshadowed by pleasure that smothered what little self preservation was left to you. But the gun was set down next to your hip, a soft needy noise escaping your throat feeling the head of his cock drag back and forth between your labia. 

     No matter how you shifted, he refused to thrust inside, fingers splayed wide over the curve of your ass cheeks before clenching. As if his fingers could carve a handle out of the malleable flesh, your whimper shifting into a higher pitch as he used his grip to pull you back as his hips pressed forward. 

     Much larger than the gun, was your first thought, the stretch bordering on painful as he sank each inch inside. Before he slid in completely, Harvey pulled back, rocking his hips in short thrusts that dragged his glans over nerves that sent napalm spilling through your veins, your fingers eagerly chasing that release as they slicked over your clit. 

     Soft whispered coaxing babbled out of you, the orgasm slinking just out of reach no matter how quickly your fingers moved. Your body clenched desperately around him, trying to pull him in deeper, unable to rock back into the sharp shallow thrusts that were doing just enough. Just enough to keep you hovering on edge, just enough to keep you from pitching forward into mind numbing bliss.

“Please?’ 

     His fingers flexed, and you’d have been willing to sell everything you owned if it meant he’d finally fuck you properly. Your wrists ached from how hard you struggled against the bindings, and it only spurred your shameless actions as you dragged your nails along the underside of his cock. Sweet victory, Harvey’s cock slamming into you, feeling the edge of the desk dig into your thighs with each thrust. 

“You’re the kind of trouble we like getting into.’ He purred, the words almost lost in the sharp report of his hips crashing against yours. “Sweet mouth, tight pussy, always nice to find something the both of us like.’ 

     The scrape of the desk’s legs dragging along the floor vibrated the wood, a far more tender pleasure against your nipples considering the almost angry snap of his hips that left your legs feeling weak. Your body jerked when he lifted his left hand and swatted a blow that sent shockwaves rebounding through you, the burn of contact coaxing a whimper from you. 

“Oh… oh, dolly. Do that again.’ 

     Before you’d had a chance to figure out which thing he meant, his palm slapped just beside the burning handprint he’d left with the first. Clenching around him, you were rewarded with a low growl of sound, the sound thick and heavy. Blindly wiggling your fingers, you managed to hook them behind his testicles that had been smacking against your knuckles. 

     Your breath felt like it was crushed from your lungs with the immediate response, hips aching and he showed no signs of stopping. He acted like he could do this for days, dragging his nails roughly over your hip, down your thigh leaving fire in their wake before forcing your leg up onto the desk. 

“Jesus of Jerusalem… look at you split wide open, couldn’t fit a whisper if we begged you.’ The brief relief didn’t last long, knee pressing into the desktop as he managed to find more speed. From where? “Just this shy of being tore apart and she’s still desperately trying to pull us deeper.’

     When his hips shifted, your fingers tightened, a gasped oh god reaching your ears as he slammed forward. The threat of those shallow thrusts had panicked you, not willing to lose the feel of the tip of his cock filling you to the point it felt like it was the only thing. Breathing? Not important. Vision? Didn’t need it, the only sense you needed was touch. 

“You keep squeezing like that and we’ll forget to pull out.’ 

     Pull out? That was bad, didn’t like that idea. You needed him deeper, your body trembling as you gushed around his cock, the sound of it dripping onto the floor as he just kept going. Squeezing again, that low rattle of pleasure made its way up his throat, fingers digging in past the point of a good time. It hurt, threading through the pleasure and making your writhe. 

“Too much?’ 

     Yes, your head nodding, bumping against the desktop. Not that he slowed down, even had the audacity to chuckle like he wasn’t forcing your anatomy to shift just to accommodate his girth. You swore you could feel every vein that traced along his cock, sore as your body clenched around him with little left to give. Another slap jolted you, wriggling to free your arms trying to push yourself up. Feeling the heat sinking in, insidious in the way it seemed to burn hotter the deeper it sank. 

“Good.’ Your back arched, his voice next to your ear startled you. “Might have to give the boys a raise for fuckin’ up.’ 

     Worse now that you could feel his voice rumbling in his chest, the heat sinking into your back. The drag of his skin against yours as the angle shifted, each thrust applying pressure and grinding. Shaking, your hands scrambling for some sort of purchase on the desk, Harvey’s jaw rubbed against your ear. 

“Don’t hold back those noises now, we like hearing them.’ A low croon, like he wasn’t crushing you against the desk, thrusting into you like he was trying to split you open. “Might have to take you with us.’

     If you weren’t currently struggling not to look like a ahego hoodie you might have protested, attempting to shake your head even as your felt an orgasm strike you like the hand of some vengeful god. Before you could even recover another bubbled from beneath the smothering pleasure of the one before it. 

“Keep you all pretty on our desk like a paper weight. Would you like that? We know you would, bet you’d flush all cute when the boys game in to plan the next robbery, sitting bare ass on the desk.’ 

     Groaning into your ear, you yelped feeling teeth sinking into your shoulder, attempting to twist away with nowhere to go. A shame you didn’t have the brain cells left to recreate the picture he was painting, not fully, not like you were. If felt like he’d gotten bigger, body rocking in time with the sharp shallow thrusts. The light scrape of his nails over your skin made your breath catch, feeling like he’d scored the skin instead of the light scratch.

“So responsive.’ The muzzle dragging along the desk, feeling the metal skim over your skin making you flinch. “God but you could have us barkin’ if you whined just right. Why don’t you try it?’

     You would love to but it was hard to breathe, feeling his skin slide along yours, the scattered scar tissue along his torso sticking and dragging. A minute shake of your head earned you a soft tsk of disappointment that didn’t have quite the weight it might have had a minute ago. 

     There was no warning when he came, feeling the first spurt hot and thick slicking your passage as he continued to thrust into you. His low murmurs of praise meant not a damned thing as you shivered beneath him, walls fluttering weakly around him as he slowed. You squirmed feeling your body finally be able to relax, no longer straining to accommodate the thickness that had left you wheezing. 

     Heat rushed to your face. You could feel it slowly spilling out, fat drops falling to the floor at your feet. Roughened fingertips dragged over your clit before pushing into you, dragging a whine of discomfort from you as you tried to crawl onto the desk to get away from the stimulation. 

“Ah… bark, bark.’ 

     If you had the energy you’d have kicked him, your left leg falling off the desk as you attempted to stand. To get away from the amusement in his tone, feeling his gaze on the junction of your legs as the semen continued to dribble out. You could still feel him, the stretch haunting, still half sprawled over the desk as you lied to yourself that it was due to a fear of getting shot if you moved. 

“We were joking, but looking at you now.’ His fingers collected and deposited the leaking fluids back inside you with a twist. “Bet the boys would love a chance too.’ 

     That finally managed to spur you upright, holding the vertical position only for a moment before your right leg betrayed you. Landing abruptly on the floor sent a confusion of signals through your body, your ears ringing as synapsis fired off in too many directions to properly sort through. Something slightly damp hit your chin, catching briefly against the spit there before fluttering into your lap. 

“Might want to clean yourself up a bit, can’t have the pigs seeing you like that.’ He leaned down, meeting his grinning expression for a moment before looking down to see a handkerchief in your lap. “They’ve got less self control than I do. I should know, I pay quite a few of them.’ 

     Fingering the cloth, the pads stuck on the damp fabric before you realized what they were rubbing against. 

“Don’t look so outraged, there’s more inside of you then on that.’ He scoffed, eye rolling before a considering look passed over the clean shaven side of his face. “Unless you’d like us to clean you up?’ 

     At your blank expression, the tip of his tongue lightly skimmed the corner of his siling mouth. No. Absolutely not, his laughter loud and far too cheerful all things considered. Holding up his hands, he stepped back before making adjustments to his clothing so they sat correctly. An absolute hate crime that he was able to just pull himself together like that. The slight wrinkle to the suit jacket, and the silk shirt beneath sticking to his skin was all you could see. 

     You’d been well fucked and you knew that you looked like it. There was no way to pull your clothing back in place and look anything else. The sight of his knees entering your vision startled you, plucking the cloth from your listless fingers and sliding his hand beneath you to wipe away the mess that had pooled beneath you. What hadn’t soaked into your pants, scrambling away from him as he pushed himself to his feet and stared down at you for a moment. 

“Damn.’ It was suddenly dark for a moment, grabbing fistfuls of fabric to pull it off your face. “We’ll send someone to retrieve that. Can’t have you arrested for public indecency.’

     Before you could stop him, he scooped up your pants and balled them up, clenched hand resting on his hip. Sighing when you just stared at him, he dragged up upright and held you there until you managed to stand. Terse movements settled the suit jacket over your shoulders, the hem lightly brushing against your thighs as he stepped back. 

“Good enough. Be seeing you around, Dolly.’

     The door creaked as he broke the lock, Gotham night sounds spilling into the room as he walked out into the alley behind the bank. His coin glimmered as it flew upwards, his head bending to look at it before turning left and walking off.

     First thing when you got home you were switching to direct deposit.

[firecoloredwater]

At some point a few* years ago, there were a lot of posts on my dash about trauma, PTSD, and recovery from the above. Specifically, posts getting into the details of how trauma affects the brain, how recovery works, etc.**

Which means I spent a lot of time reading these posts, and then mentally holding them up next to the sharingan and going hmmmmm.

I can't make as good an argument now as I could have then, because it's been years and I've forgotten a lot of details. (So please don't like, assume this is expert analysis; I am not a neuroscientist or a psychologist, and I am definitely forgetting stuff.) But:

Traumatic experiences are easier to remember than happy ones, sometimes escalating to flashbacks (in the PTSD, not the narrative sense); the sharingan creates permanent memories.

People experiencing trauma are often hyperaware of details, especially details that might indicate danger (and PTSD is in part this hyperawareness lingering even when it's no longer needed); the sharingan gives users better vision with a particular focus on seeing and interpreting details, up to minor predictive abilities.

The sharingan is activated (and upgraded) by strong emotions, especially fear and distress.

I've got nothing for the genjutsu powers though, those are just magic.

I suspect that this was not the canon intention! But I think that the sharingan and trauma parallel nicely, and when I'm trying to figure out how to balance the sharingan's abilities for fic, I like to use this framework.

Another minor headcanon: shinobi clans are, culturally and intellectually, very isolated. Partly it's a result of geographic isolation: the location of clan compounds is at least nominally secret, which means they're remote, not just in some town, nor do they have a bunch of non-clan townsfolk living just outside the gates. That's reinforced by information security concerns, meaning that even when someone from a shinobi clan is visiting a town/the capital/wherever, they're going to avoid discussing anything but the smallest of small talk.

As a result***, information takes a long time to filter back into shinobi clans as well; with the possible exception of the Nara (whose reputation for being geniuses might just be due to having traditionally dedicated a few people to basically go be scholars in the capital, and send back any new research/discoveries/developments they learn about) shinobi clans are generally several decades to a few centuries behind the cutting edge of science****. Because that's what happens when a culture is dedicating all its resources to war and survival.

But the point of all this is that I think it would be REALLY funny if "the Curse of Hatred" was just plain PTSD. But the Uchiha noticed the parallels between trauma/PTSD and the sharingan, and concluded that this was a side effect of the sharingan, a sort of unhelpful partial manifestation, which came with all the drawbacks and none of the benefits. People who have PTSD but not the sharingan still have Uchiha blood, enough to get that partial manifestation but not the full, beneficial version.

...and then Konoha happens, and the Uchiha gradually realize that every single shinobi clan has a bunch of members suffering from PTSD, aka the Curse of Hatred, aka (they think) side effects of partial sharingan manifestation.

(under the cut is just footnotes)

*Anywhere from 2-8. I dunno, time is an illusion.

**Mostly these posts were by (or reblogged by) star-anise, who I'm not @ing because I don't think we've ever actually talked and as far as I know she isn't interested in Naruto. But if you're curious and willing to dig in search of posts from several years ago, that's where.

***Also as a result clans would have REALLY distinct cultures and traditions, which is very fun to play with but not the point of this post.

****If you enjoy the "Tobirama is albino and the Senju hate him for it/think he's cursed" trope, this is very conducive to "every single civilian who ever sees Tobirama immediately go 'oh, he has albinism' but no Senju (or Uchiha) has ever heard of it until a civilian randomly refers to it in his presence/in reference to him one day."

[swallowtail-ageha]

Idk how lukewarm of an opinion it is but hm. I am not the biggest fan of like pointing laurence as the sole corrupting force that caused yharnam to go to shit. Like yes, he is a monster, and he is the figurehead and catalyst of most of the torture and experimentation that happened there, but also to pin him as the only one rotten apple while he wouldn't have minimally gotten to that point if there weren't other major figures in yharnam enabling him. I do feel like it's kind of the point on why the dlc is structured like that, boss wise. You are presented with this string of figures that were important for shaping the in-game's yharnam culture (ludwig with the church hunters, maria with the experimentation that laid the fundation of the choir), which are all presented as burning in hell for their sins, and to see this and pin the blame on him and him alone is hm. Dont really like it

[jessamine-rose]

Capitano in Natlan’s Archon Quest, Capitano in Hoyofair, 12 fics + short posts written for Capitano, 9 WIPs + fic ideas for Capitano, at least 5 dreams about Capitano x Damsel…..

Atp I might as well call 2024 the Year of the Captain _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

[pochapal]

uu. uu, even.

[silusvesuius]

unleashing the same hellscape i did on my notes app here it's my nelvas thinking dump i wrote just for fun and to keep track of what i view them as up 2 this point. Might change my mind on it later on it has a lot of things written in brackets for no reason . it's like ~2500 words long which isn't much but i think i said everything i've had in my mind for now read it for fun if you like to have fun leik me :) And talvas :) And nelothxP

retyping what i said in the tags of those last text posts and rearranging those thoughts a bit: in my train of thought that's been going steady since early 2024 i'm almost certain that neloth might see talvas as the epitome of being morally Clean (before that changes because of neloth's influence over him) and generally pure as a person. pure not used in the Pervert way; neloth is just a veeery big fan of talvas having absolutely no backbone and being very docile when it comes to him. which is r expected traits 4 someone if they find themselves under neloth's thumb as an apprentice, but it being written that he isn't at all catty and defiant to his face is cute. all talvas manages to do is shit talk neloth to others and pray neloth doesn't find out he meant the things he said but also can’t help feeling bad about it, even though neloth doesn't and wouldn't care, if he found out. neloth is happy with being an obnoxious & disgusting person. truly.. him growing obsessed with talvas' docile and innocent nature doesn't necessarily have to add up to him wanting to Taint or Ruin him (and if it happens ((it does)) it's not done on purpose, neloth can't hold that much control and power of his actions in that specific department). he encounters difficulties when he realizes he actually wants that Elven Twink.. it's too far gone to fix anything after he's tampered with talvas' patience and stability, and even then he can't be honest with talvas about anything, because he still wants to hold a great deal of power over him (neloth essentials for survival).

Might be the type to just want talvas to magically(haha) think it's okay that his wizard master desires him and expect that energy right back without talvas actually acknowledging it because it'd make neloth feel insanely cringy and embarrassed.. humiliated.. EVEN. but that's just in a deep deep dark corner of his mind, he isn't stupid. when trying to gain 'access' to his apprentice ("*His* apprentice" is also kinda funny way of viewing his mind too. just cause talvas is working as an apprentice under him neloth probably already feels a concerning sense of ownership over him that makes him feel very good) he can't even make the signs of interest be apparent to talvas because he's insanely inept at being Soft and honest for obvious reasons. he can tell what possibly could make talvas warm up to him even after he treats him like shit for eons but there's no way he's bringing himself to do it (change is embarrassing, especially in their formal dynamic, and especially at his age). so it's a half-assed attempt (actually he's trying his hardest🙄) to try and make talvas be (at least) less afraid of him. not that talvas has any other place that we know of that he "Belongs" to, he just sticks with neloth regardless of anything. neloth watching him as he sleeps ensues . Guys what do i do to make my apprentice let me hit because all of the eye contact i do with him while gripping his arm or petting his knee isn't helping. 

if we were to go back to how that spark is ignited in neloth swamp of a heart, brain… idk, it has to be when he realizes talvas' capability of forgiveness and 'Sucking it up' instead of lashing out at neloth after .. anything, but perhaps physical abuse in particular. neloth a 100% has absolutely no problem putting his hands on anyone, especially someone he sees so often, such as talvas. not that talvas really annoys him (his clear and voiced obedience pleases neloth as anyone can tell), but he just doesn't see it as too much of a big deal. the physical mistreatment that happens once in a blue moon isn't intense enough to scare off talvas for sure anyways. neloth is a bitch so all he can so is smack him at the back of the head (talvas finds it very normal) and slap him if he's feeling festive (something talvas finds kinda extreme but not that it happens often. he sometimes feels like he deserves it, or that neloth is warranted to do as he pleases. he tosses around it being justified or pitying himself, though). May be possible that neloth would realize he Like Likes talvas once he slaps him, mayhaps, for the first time, but talvas' immediate reaction to being treated like that is just sadness mixed with feeling shame for tearing up/crying in front of someone he respects *bishoujo sparkles sfx*. talvas is a delicate soul so he can't hold warranted emotions like that for long, and even tho it's expected of him to be making eye contact w/ neloth in a setting like that, he wouldn't be able 2 bring himself to do it because looking at neloth would make him wanna burst out in tears like a weeeee baby. Booo hooo.. talvas is the 19th century (4th era) damsel that runs out of the ball in tears after no young cavalier invited her to dance. watch this bleed into the most awkward and silent week of neloth's entire life because talvas doesn't even really feel like speaking to him or looking at him, but neloth doesn't wanna brute force the usual respectful etiquette out of him cus he thinks that's just gonna make talvas hurl himself down on some rough rocks at the seashore. Good thing talvas is very spineless and forgiving (especially in relation to neloth… i mean.. who r YOU to not forgive him) so that might just last a day or two. the hurt always stays tho. neloth this is why talvas doesn't wanna smash you.. you might've made some conclusions about what elven twink you like but talvas is just even more scared of you now. was your Pervert awakening worth it. and even if we do backflips and jump thru the point where everything is too far gone for either of them to go back, dude is still too afraid to make out with his apprentice. Deserve. but why though because talvas wouldn't refuse. for what reason? we may never know

^^^ this makes me feel like i love seeing characters i reaaaalllly love (elenwen and talvas in this case) as enigmas in situations where they're confronted with something so ""Intimate"". elenwen's stance on this is final tho cause she's a grown ass woman and there's no way you could reshape her brain. ulfric left her mind plane in SHAMBLES. talvas has more right (in the literal sense) to be erratic or inconsistent with his actions. maybe he likes to be desired. Also i strongly believe that talvas has probably never been in love (for any reason rly but it's mostly him not having actual time for it + not seeing it as something that is important to him at that point in his life)… i want neloth to be his first experience with Love so that it ruin his view on it forever. can't get myself to say he'd be in love with neloth at any point though. From his standpoint it really should feel empowering and 'nice' that neloth wants him in many ways (ew).. cause that's a man with status.. power.. ability to do anything rly . talvas is in no condition to be playing mind games with him or anything tho so don't get that idea. he's not strong enough of a person to be Tricking anyone or to be Playing with anyone's feelings. neloth would be immune to that, too. neloth can just kinda tell talvas is too good and … UNTAINTED. talvas wants to see the best in everyone. too bad he genuinely detests you, neloth.. so: he doesn't actually love neloth but wouldn't be happy to see his tombstone either. SO (PART TWO): if you time it right he wouldn't be against getting Freakkkkyyyy with you okay?but no promises

even if @ some point talvas develops indistinct feelings towards neloth cause of neloth's own incessant weird-mild advances it wouldn't have to mean he just likes old men permanently now. actually it kinda does. i can sorta feel it rearranging his braincells and making him unable to normally interact with people in his age range. he probably already had a hard time talking to others in hopes of developing a friendship just cause he's timid but after neloth's nonstop abuse and Accidental romance mind games he morphs into a whole new type of guy. it's hard to notice at first but he'd probably just start to leech off of neloth's prissy and unbearable personality in a natural course of things + neloth is the only person he sees and talks to on the regular pretty much. < this can just be reworded as just the cycle of abuse and whatnot. if he notices an opening in the abilities and Smarts of another person, especially someone his age/younger, he will automatically see them as umm…stupid. and also insult your abilities to your face if he snaps. he strikes me as the type to be afraid to say what he really thinks (another consequence of being glued to neloth all the time when all talvas does is act like he totally respects anything he says) and gets scared if anything slips out his mouth but is proud in letting the "Truth" be known because he already figured out you're a lesser being than him. he's just cloning neloth's verbal abuse braincells though he would never put his hands on someone. his desire to be mean and see himself as superior stems from neloth always disparaging him obviously.. talvas 4 that reason is very self conscious of his abilities and doesn't rly think he's all that useful or talented. his self doubt then would play into how he doesn't know when to believe what others are saying to and about him.. i wanna imagine that talvas is very oblivious to neloth's weirdo status just cause he partly doesn't even want that thought to cross his mind. i bet everyone but him sees it and finds it gross😕 but nobody in the vicinity is strong enough to tell neloth that he should be ashamed LMFAO. if you would try and even hint to talvas that it's happening he'd never take you seriously and just get mad. he's protective of neloth's image more than neloth himself is; not that people knowing neloth has abnormal sodomistic inclinations toward his apprentice would make his public image worse than it already is (everyone already thinks he's weird so it's not shocking at all) but talvas still wouldn't wanna hear it cause he thinks it's just false. maybe he's just ashamed that he's being brought into the whole thing. also because he doesn't wanna face the reality EJI23JRIO32KJ Well talvas when neloth makes an actual move on you don't say that we didn't warn you.. we're all waiting till neloth's status as an obvious apprentice-pervert becomes obvious to you

even if he's willingly ignorant of the fact he still thinks of the 'accusations' a lot when he feels like it. and unknowingly begins feeling even more uncomfortable in neloth's presence. heart starts beating faster and everything. neloth could come up to him meters away and talvas would still cover his mouth in realization and be like "i knew it… the DB told me but i didn't wanna believe it …..😦 so you really do like young men … and you're in love with me ..😨" *Neloth wakes up from this fever dream drenched in sweat* < neloth doesn't want (obvi) talvas to react that way at any point because he himself would just get scared so they'd just be staring at each other wide eyed. but talvas jumping into his advances isn't what he wants either (that'll also scare him). neloth is still relying on talvas' politeness to let him do as he pleases. but it is impossible for talvas to let it slide without questioning anything regardless so🤷‍♀️ take your few Ls and move on. neloth just wants talvas to sit on his lap. wants to spoonfeed him soup. he's so romantic. he also wants to(sniper on rooftop blows my head to bits). neloth is actually a pretty touchy feely person when he's feeling Frisky (=deranged about talvas). I'm certain his favorite part of talvas' body is his legs. talvas has beautiful young man skipping leg day legs. so nothing special at all but neloth wants to touch them lol.. let your master wizard squeeze your calves and he might just be occupied enough like a kid playing with a fidget toy to not abuse you verbally for 3 seconds. as i said befoar neloth is unpleasant with his touch because he doesn't know how to be soft + doesn't even want it to necessarily feel very 'rewarding' as to not pamper talvas. petting talvas kinda turns into a nervous habit for himself and an instrument of some sort of Reassurance 4 talvas when he wants him to know he’s not mad, for example. non-vebal confirmation. talvas still finds it weird but thinks it’s a charm point too. neloth wouldn't even be against touching him familiarly in front of others but only in a "older male figure" ways ex. touching his knee or putting his hand at the back of his neck (talvas sees it as some sort of disciplinary tactic though). physical touch that matches neloth's age and is enough for it to be seen as not necessarily romantic / overtly weird. 

there'ssssss no saving talvas after such a powerful person gets his hands on him. any will to leave would leave HIM either out of fear or out of attachment and neloth wouldn't just let him go (Alive at least) since he knows the things he knows. if talvas were to escape i'm a Truther of him not feeling in place and wanting to go back cause it's the stability that he's used to. but tbh if he encounters neloth on accident anywhere he's gonna start running. I was drinking tea while writing this and started choking on it i just nearly died writing this are youhappy. anyways, nelvas is a never-ending abusive relationship that doesn’t even have High highs, all it has is low lows. neloth always mistreats talvas for any reason but is never genuinely kind from the heart or out of remorse. .. hmm……yeah. I forgot to type this back out from my posts tags > talvas might just start viewing neloth as fuck crazy and demented after he Finally notices at least one molecular sign of gay attention from him . like ‘Oh wow Master Neloth obviously doesn’t get any female attention or anything cus he’s a sick fuck why does he have to search for it from me Can varona take the hit for me 🥺 *sees her dead body being dragged by the DB* hmm i guess not well i’ll figure something out i guess’ (he doesn’t) also the dialogue talvas has with varona after he steals neloth’s book trying to conjure some bs up will always be so cute to me he’s so defensive and afraid of neloth finding out. Him trying to decipher neloth’s handwriting is cute TOO ik their 19th century love letters to each other would go crazy and make sense to anyone but each other but i’m not gonna talk about 19th century girl talvas x neloth rn it’s too much . what ever. i think i’m done thank you i should just go back to drawing them as grecian pottery red figures or smthj Fun stats for you 4 getting to the end: times the word ‘abuse’ is used: 6

[mashamorevvna]

first draft is always such a mortifying ordeal for me. i subscribe to the write it stupid way so it's the most unsubtle thing ever that i have to refine into something readable, but by god is it sometimes hard to look at

[n-fblog]

Reo, Nagi, and Differences from the Main Manga

Thoughts from Episode: Nagi, chapter 17

Reo:

This chapter was kind of needed for him to "abandon" his ego of becoming the best with Nagi (and we can see it sort of fading in the textbox) -- and simultaneously get rid of that growing attachment he has to Nagi. Really sad to see him say, "thank you" as if he doesn't even have the strength to break them apart himself (and he didn't)

The chameleon makes its first chronological appearance so we can clearly see him start to 'adapt' his thinking and playing even though it's not fully fleshed out yet, which is exciting! I wasn't sure if that was something he made up with Shidou before, but it's hilarious to know it all started with Nagi, AGAIN. Or maybe this is the manga trying to convey that he's changing himself to help Nagi walk away lol

His inferiority complex with Nagi makes itself kind of known here, with the monologue- "Those are the words *I* wanted to say,," but was unable to...

Somehow, Nagi being able to encourage Reo makes him the stronger one mentally -- which is tough for someone who subconsciously already thinks he can't go very far without Nagi skill-wise.

Poor guy... and he still has so far to go before he starts to think he can fight on his own.

Nagi:

Man, this chapter pretty much confirms that their mischaracterization and miscommunication goes both ways lol. Nagi spitefully admonishes that he isn't Reo's 'toy' when Reo flips from "wanting to be the best" to "wanting to stay together"-- These guys have such a hard time acknowledging their friendship outside of football, it's actually painful.

I can't tell if he made any sort of connection betweey 'toy' and being Reo's 'treasure'. But that's almost definitely a metaphor on Reo's part. What a lot of people misuse is that Reo calls Nagi his 'treasured possession' when I really, truly don't think he meant viewing Nagi as a literal object. But how else do you expect a rich boy who's only been shown love through material things to describe something he values? *(see tags for a rant on this lol)

I do wish we'd gotten more insight into how he felt when he heard what Reo said in the moment, but this chapter was already long as it is. I do think Nagi's expressions sort of speak for themselves.

I mean, he straight up looks like he's about to cry here. 

I would argue that part of Nagi's promise to 'stay together' during the entrance actually includes 'believing in each other' like he says here:

 And if that's the case, then what did Reo's claim of abandonment mean to him? Was it that Reo didn't believe in Nagi's newfound drive to win? Or was he mad that Reo didn't believe in himself? I think it's a bit of both, but I really want to see more thoughts in the manga or from the fandom

Blue Lock vs. Episode: Nagi

So... Nagi definitely seems more angry in this chapter, right? When you revisit Ch. 76, you can see that Nagi is a lot more apologetic towards Reo

( Here you see him lament not growing alongside Reo, but fired up and excited to work with Isagi)

vs. what we saw this chapter

(Nagi saying sorry and acknowledging he's changed, but looking less toward the future and more resisting the past)

Maybe this is just a difference in translations, but "I can't [am not able to] go back" feels a little different from "I won't go back" -- the former just feels like an admission (to Reo), while the latter feels a lot more confrontational, a downright refusal to go along with what Reo wants.

And that's fine, but it does reshape how I thought about Nagi, and I think it really emphasizes just how pissed he was at Reo by the end of 2nd Selection.

This reframes their interaction during U-20 tryouts for me. I originally thought it was mostly setting up Reo's chameleon style defense and Reo's internal conflict (which it is) but EpiNagi really just shows that Nagi also has a ways to go before they reunite in Manshine

I think this could be the panel (from Ch. 107, 3rd Selection) where Nagi forgives Reo -- it's the point where Reo sort of shows he understands Nagi's drive to win, and that he doesn't value staying together over improving anymore. After that, they have no issues (in Nagi's eyes) so it was probably easy to imagine walking up to Reo during MC v BM and asking for his help ... but man, we still have a long way til then, and I can't wait for EpiNagi to probably prove me wrong :p

[wildsaltair]

my favourite thing about your blog is that i will press "see all" on the tags of a post and it will explode in an amount of tags twice as long as the original post

Gilles I love you so much for this 😂 I don’t know why I do this; it’s just the best way I know to get all my thoughts in one place without having to actually organize them coherently. Makes my day that people (1) actually read my tags and (2) enjoy the chaos to be found there

[ecos-syscourse]

Dear syscoursers, the Atlantic ghost crab was once described as "An occult, secretive alien from the ancient depths of the sea."

[lifeonmvrs]

fun fact only die-hard daredevil fans know: natasha romanoff

[ersatz-introspective]

low/no empathy is Minorly Othering in terms of interests (in my experience) because almost everyone i know prefers fiction over nonfiction, because it's more interesting and easier to digest,

but prefer the opposite for the same reasons. nonfiction is MUCH easier for me to parse through. i stress myself out a lot whenever i try to imagine a characters thoughts and feelings, and i end up usually just misunderstanding entirely. oftentimes it's so frustrating i just put a book down and never try reading it again. i understand rhetorical devices, messages, themes, symbolism,,, i understand the book on a technical level when it comes to the artistry of how it's written. but i, for the life of me, in the moment, simply cannot fathom a character's thoughts and feelings

comics are only a little easier bcs they have added help of drawn depictions of thoughts and feeling, but even then it can still be hard. i just can't enjoy the same literature many ppl are into just cus i find textbooks n stuff more easy to read