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writingforstraykids · 9 months ago

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Addicted to you Chp.21

Pairing: Minchan (mention of OT8)

Word Count: 4613

Summary: Chan and Minho organize a long break for the whole group, knowing they all need one after these troubling times. Five months later, Chan gets a taste of Minho in his best form, and he couldn't be more proud.

Warnings/Tags: fluff, cuddles, smut, min is insecure about his weight gain, small misunderstanding, the boys are in love

Chp. 20 | Back to the beginning

A/N: Thank you to everyone who made it this far and enjoyed the story. Thank you for the lovely requests and comments, they made the whole process so much more fun. My first Stray Kids project is officially "done". As always, I am open to writing more as long as you have concrete wishes and ideas. I've enjoyed writing this series a lot, delving a little more into the aspects of their hidden relationship, the insecurities and challenges that come with that, and so on. So please, if you'd like more, maybe also about the other pairings in this specific setting, don't hesitate to let me know - Nat🖤

Setting fire to my already tamed feelings Don't make me bad, bad Addicted to you Once we've started, you must be mine Addicted to you - Lee Know, Felix & Hyunjin

“I need a break,” Chan announced to the room. Everyone stared at him, surprised but curious about the sudden confession. Everyone just finished lunch and gathered in the living room to relax.

“Uh, thanks for the warning?” Felix chuckled.

“We all do,” Chan continued on. The boys began to share confused expressions. “We’ve been working our asses off ever since Minho came back. None of us has had time to rest.”

“That��s true,” Changbin nodded.

“I talked to our management and got us all a month off,” he said and smiled as they all looked at him with a mixture of shock and excitement. “I want you all to go home for a while. Check in with your families, spend some time with them. I’ll be leaving a few days earlier than you all. I promised my mum to stay with them for a while after they found out most of what happened through our recent interviews. If you’d like, we could still go on vacation together during the last week. Maybe you all could come to Australia again.”

“That was quite fun,” Jeongin nodded excitedly.

“And they approved all of us leaving for a month?” Jisung asked, stunned.

“It took some work,” Minho admitted. “But we’ve told them that the past few months have been too much not only for Chan and myself. I, more or less, let them know that they’d have to deal with more public breakdowns if we wouldn’t get a break soon,” he laughed.

“Which was quite convincing, apparently,” Chan giggled. “So vacation starts in two days. Felix, you’ll still have to attend that fashion event in four days, but then you’re free to leave.”

“Sounds good to me,” Felix smiled excitedly. He couldn’t wait to go back home for a while. “My parents would love to see you guys again.”

“My mother hasn’t been talking about anything else since I suggested it,” Chan snorted.

“As long as she makes us that amazing dinner from last time again,” Hyunjin grinned.

“I bet she will,” Seungmin laughed.

"Australia it is then," Minho nodded, chuckling at his friends. As everyone continued the conversation, his heart warmed seeing the people he loved most…happy.

Chan had been gone for a week now. Everyone else, besides Felix and Minho, left for home two days ago. Minho decided to stay with Felix before he flew to Australia so he didn’t have to stay at the house all by himself.

“How’s Chan?” Felix asked one evening as they sat together on the sofa.

“He’s having a bit of a hard time, I think,” Minho told him. “His parents are still really worried. His sister was pretty pissed he didn’t tell her how he was feeling instead of having to find out through the interviews.”

“She’ll calm down in a few days,” Felix chuckled.

“That’s what I told him,” he nodded, but a slight unease still lay in his tone.

“But?” Felix asked, picking up on it.

“You know Chan, he always gets a little depressed without us there,” he shrugged and leaned back. “He keeps telling me how much he misses me. He never did that before either. It’s not like we haven’t been apart for this long before,” he giggled softly.

“You never meant this much to him before,” he reminded him kindly.

“Fair point,” Minho sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.

“I have an idea,” he told him excitedly. “You’ve just visited home, and you always visit your parents after therapy. I bet they wouldn’t mind if you’d come with me instead.”

“To Australia? So early?” he asked, opening his eyes to give Felix a confused look.

“Yeah. I always book two seats to have some peace during the flight so I can take you with me easily,” he told him. “We could surprise Chan with you just showing up at the front door.”

Minho giggled softly. “That would actually be fun.”

“Come on, call your mum. I’m sure she’d agree,” he laughed.

Minho quickly grabbed his phone, calling his mother. “Hi, mum,” he said cheerfully. “I have a question,” he got straight to the point, putting her on speaker. But there was no response, to Minho’s disbelief. “Mum?” he called out with a small whine, a cute pout beginning to rest on his lips.

“You’ll be leaving for Australia early?” she asked, laughing as Minho gasped.

“How the hell did you guess that?” he asked, stunned. Felix started laughing at him in the background.

“Oh please! You were talking about your boyfriend nonstop when you came over last week. Also, you’ve been visiting here so often now that I knew you wouldn’t feel bad not coming to stay with us for a few weeks,” she laughed. “I bet he really misses you, Min.”

“He does,” Minho nodded.

“You should go,” she told him kindly. “Felix?” she asked, quickly identifying him by his cheerful laugh.

“Yes?” he asked politely.

“Take care of him on that flight, yeah?” she asked.

“Of course I will,” he promised. “I’ll bring him back to you safely.” Minho’s mom gave her goodbyes and ended the call.

Minho smiled widely and pulled Felix into a warm, gentle hug. “Thank you, Felix.”

Felix nodded and hugged Minho, squeezing him tightly. “Of course, Minho.”

Chan was still lying in bed, scrolling through his phone and trying to stay awake. He tossed and turned all night, and the lack of sleep was trying to lure him back into a deep slumber. He yawned softly and stretched his tired body. He began smiling as he heard the small patter of his dog coming down the hallway and into his room, hopping on the bed. “Hi Berry,” he said softly.

“Chris?” his mother called out for him from downstairs.

“Yes mom?” he shouted back, not really feeling like moving.

“Someone’s here to see you,” she said. “Can you come down here for a moment?”

He groaned softly. If his mother asked in that tone, he was sure it was a friend of theirs wanting to see how their idol son was doing, maybe even collecting a few autographs on the way. “Fine,” he groaned, quickly pulling a sweater over his head to cover his naked chest. He walked down the stairs, not noticing the person standing next to his sister with a grumble to himself. “I swear if this is another - Minho?!” he asked, his jaw dropping as he finally looked up at the visitor in question.

“Surprise?” he asked gently. Before he knew it, Chan was in his arms, lifting and spinning him around. “Channie, nooo” he giggled, wrapping his legs around his waist. “I just stepped off the plane, go easy on me!”

“What the hell? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? I could’ve picked you up from the airport,” he pouted, a whine can be heard through his tone.

“Hannah did,” Minho said gently. Chan looked at her surprised, not believing she was in on the surprise. “Felix had an extra seat, and we decided to surprise you.”

“When do you leave?” he asked.

“Whenever you leave,” he told him. Chan’s smile widened. Minho laughed as he put him back down on the ground and hugged him tightly.

“And where will you be staying?” he asked, still not fully grasping that he was actually there.

“Here, you dumbass,” Hannah told him, rolling her eyes at him.

“Your mum said it would be alright,” Minho said gently.

“Of course it is!” she assured him with a bright smile. “You’re always welcome here, Minho.”

“Thank you,” he smiled at her. Chan couldn’t help himself anymore and kissed him passionately, pulling him in close. Minho grunted softly, but returned the kiss happily. He pulled back and stared at him, a bit dazed. “I suppose you told them about us?”

“Obviously,” Chan laughed.

“I told him fighting to get you back to the group was the one thing he did right the past few weeks,” Hannah said teasingly.

Minho giggled softly and pulled her into a hug. “I missed you too, little sister,” he said fondly. “But don’t be too hard on him, alright? I wasn’t exactly easy to be around either.”

“Fine,” she rolled her eyes, but they knew she meant well. Minho was always fond of Hannah since the day they met.

Minho smiled at Chan and reached out for him, grabbing his hand. “I think I need a nap.”

“That’s the jetlag,” he chuckled. “I had another shitty night myself, let’s go.” Minho followed him upstairs to his room, giggling as Chan threw the door closed and kissed him needily. “Fuck, I missed you, baby.”

“I missed you too, love,” he said softly, wrapping his arms around his neck. “So, so much.” Chan buried his face in his shoulder, hugging him even tighter. “Are you okay?” his voice laced with care and warmth, fondling his hair.

“Yeah,” he whispered, hot tears burning in his eyes.

“Channie?” he asked gently, pulling back a little and lifting his face. “Oh, angel,” he whispered.

“I really fucking missed you, that’s all,” he assured him.

“You’re so cute,” he told him, pressing their foreheads together. “I’m here now. I won’t stop getting on your nerves for a whole month,” he smirked. “There’s no staff to stop us either. And the others get here in three weeks.”

“Sounds perfect,” he smiled and brushed their noses together. “Just you and me.”

“Mhm, just you and me, Channie,” he smiled softly, cupping his face and kissing him gently. The two almost got lost in their embrace, until Minho pulled back to speak. “Uh, before I forget, my therapist asked if you’d like to join the next session?”

Chan frowned softly at the request. “Why?”

“She thinks it’ll be easier to work through certain things that happened with you there. Like collapsing on stage and getting to the hospital after. I don't have many memories of that night,” he shrugged.

“Alright, sure thing,” he nodded. “Now let’s get some sleep.”

Five months later

Minho looked at himself in the mirror, carefully fixing his hair. He was wearing a perfectly fitted dark suit that hugged him in all the right places, the vest painted with blue stripes. A delicate necklace rested on his skin, and a ring on each hand completed the look. The one on his right ring finger being a present from his boyfriend. The color definitely complimented his dark hair. He crouched down a little, testing his trousers, which were a little tight.

"Minho hyung, what are you doing?" Felix laughed at him, leaning against the vanity not too far from him. He was walking around looking for his friend, just to make sure he was doing okay.

Minho met his eyes through the mirror and started to laugh as well. "I'm scared I'll rip them. They're not the best fit for this dance."

Hyunjin looked up from his phone, sitting comfortably on a nearby couch. "I bet Chan wouldn't agree with you on that."

Felix grinned and made his way over, taking a closer look. "I think you look stunning. Time to tease your boyfriend."

Minho chuckled at them and playfully rolled his eyes. "Don't think Changbin won't drool over you either," he winked at him, making the younger one blush. "Oh wait, we have another style expert right here. Doesn't our sunshine look handsome, Hyunjin?" he asked the younger male and turned Felix in his direction.

Hyunjin smirked and put his phone aside. "What do you think made him blush so hard a minute ago?"

"Oh, I see," Minho chuckled. Hyunjin got up and made his way over, gently grabbing Felix's chin and looking deep into his eyes. The shiteating grin on his face not leaving for a second as his gaze devoured Felix. Minho sensed it and took note. "That's my que to leave. Remember, we have to be on stage in ten minutes. I don't want either one of you to go out there hard."

Felix quickly grabbed Minho's hand and held him back. "If you leave, he won't stop being a tease. I’ll definitely be in trouble then." Felix pleaded with the cutest pout on his lips.

Minho giggled softly and stayed where he was, taking out his phone. With a chuckle, Hyunjin decided to have mercy on Felix and gave him a sweet, loving kiss. Meanwhile, Minho saw a few messages from Chan pop up and smiled stupidly, reading them.

I’m so proud of you, baby! You’re gonna be amazing out there. Good luck!

Minho texted a few hearts back and chuckled as Chan asked for a picture. He told him he had to see his reaction live, which made Chan send a bunch of emojis. "Alright, let's go," he said, putting his phone aside.

The three of them made their way to the side-stage and looked into the audience. "That's a lot of people out there," Felix whispered. The older two took his hands, squeezing them encouragingly.

"Perfect audience to perform this song for, for the first time ever," Hyunjin told him, winking cheekily at him.

"Look, there’s Channie and the boys," Minho said, pointing at the first row a little to the right. Chan and Changbin were sitting next to each other, almost placed perfectly in his opinion, to watch Felix and himself. Jisung, Seungmin, and Jeongin were sitting next to Chan, all waiting curiously for their friends to come on stage. They began to walk out on stage as their names were announced and smirked at the screams, combined with Chan's eyes widening seeing his outfit. They both knew Chan was a sucker for him in blue. The lights only increased the effect.

As they waited for the music to start, Minho met Chan's eyes and teasingly opened his suit jacket with a winning smirk, putting the ring on display. He had trouble holding back a grin as Chan licked his lips. The fans started cheering at his action, and Minho turned his attention to the audience. He chuckled into the microphone and did it again, this time for the audience, before getting shy at the screams and smiling brightly, looking down at the floor. Felix and Hyunjin giggled at his antics, trying to stay serious themselves.

Changbin and Chan exchanged a look, knowing the other probably had the same impure thoughts about his boyfriend. "Fuck me," Chan breathed out quietly, and Changbin chuckled at him.

"I'm sure he would if you'd ask nicely," he grinned and earned a punch in his arm. The others laughed at them, not needing to hear them to know what they were talking about.

The music started, and Minho locked in, starting to move to the beat. It was kind of funny that not even their members knew what they were in for. The moment Felix's beautiful, deep voice rang through the air, the fans started shouting, and honestly, he didn't blame them. Minho started his verse, and to his surprise, he got about the same reaction to his smooth, soft voice. A rush of adrenaline filled him, and he knew he was performing well, judging by the looks of his members as he danced during Hyunjin's part. Minho took a deep breath and casually strolled to the side before starting to sing the higher notes, hitting them all beautifully making the crowd go wild once more. Chan beamed at him proudly, knowing how hard he had worked to perfect that part.

Chan was mesmerized, looking up at his boyfriend on stage in awe. He looked beautiful in this outfit, and his heart warmed seeing him wearing the ring he bought him. His voice sounded amazing tonight, and his stage presence was undeniable. Thinking about it, Chan couldn't remember ever seeing him so in his element like this, which meant a lot, considering Minho was their main dancer.

What didn't help was watching the way his body moved in front of thousands of people and knowing how he looked beneath the many layers of fabric. Chan did, in fact, appreciate the tight suit pants, and his jaw dropped as he got down on the floor, rolling his hips with his hand placed dangerously close to his crotch. Jisung nudged him gently, and he quickly closed his mouth again, shifting a little in his seat.

Minho moved into a sitting position, continuing his dance movements. His intense gaze locked into Chan’s, captivating him as he continued singing. "Don't make me bad, make me bad, I'm addicted to you….Don't make me bad, bad, addicted to you."

Chan's eyes clouded with desire the longer he watched him. He couldn't help himself feeling like Minho put on a perfectly balanced show for him and their fans.

The performance came to an end, and they took their ending pose. Minho panted softly before meeting eyes with Chan and smirking succeedingly, knowing exactly how much he had just worked him up. He exchanged a look with Felix and Hyunjin before they all left the stage, waving at their cheering fans and friends.

They made their way back to their room and weren't even able to sit down as their friends and boyfriends stepped inside. Minho's eyes widened at how loud the room suddenly was, and laughed at their friends, telling them how amazing their performance was. Locking eyes with Chan made him shiver with anticipation. Chan simply nodded at the door before leaving again. Minho slipped outside as the others were busy and frowned softly when Chan was nowhere to be seen. He walked down the hallway, and a door to his left opened. Chan grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside, throwing the door closed again. Minho found himself pressed against the door within seconds, and a low moan fell from his lips as Chan braced himself next to his head, looking down at him with nothing but desire in his eyes. "Hi there," he said innocently. "You liked the performance?"

Chan grabbed his chin and searched his eyes. "You think it's funny making me hard in front of I don't know how many people?"

"You…wow," he grinned proudly.

"Don't look so smug," Chan giggled and groaned softly, pressing their foreheads together. "Fuck, you looked hot up there, baby."

"Thank you," he smiled sweetly and nudged his nose. "What's the secret room reserved for you only about?" he asked, spotting the name sign on the desk right in front of the mirror. Catching his reflection, he had to admit he was looking great tonight, even now that his hair was a bit of a mess.

"So I can kiss you without anyone seeing, of course," Chan answered casually.

"Oh," he nodded and couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

"You sound like that's a bad idea," he commented, frowning at him. He almost looked a little disappointed. "Did you think we'd - Minho!"

"What?" he asked, slightly offended, and ducked down, taking a step to the side and away from him. "I'm sorry. I thought that was your intention, leading me away from everyone. You could've kissed me in our room."

"You can't possibly think I wanted to have sex right here? With so many people passing by that door at all times?" he was a little in shock, and Minho rolled his eyes at him before sitting on the desk.

"Why not? When did that ever bother you before, huh?" he asked and started fiddling with the necklace to take it off. "Forget it. This was a stupid idea," he said and took off the necklace, slamming it down on the table.

"Baby, are you okay?" he asked softly.

"No, obviously not. I'm making a fool out of myself here hoping this-," he gestured at himself. "-would finally make me attractive enough in your eyes again to go further than a kiss."

"Wait, what?" he asked truly shocked now. His eyes widened at what he thought Minho was insinuating.

"Two months ago, you would've gotten into my pants before I properly locked the door. You've been locking yourself up with Hannie and Changbin lately. And it's starting to piss Felix off, but I guess it makes me question myself. I don't know when the last you actually touched me and…is it because I gained weight again?" he asked, a flare of insecurity igniting in his brain as he glanced down at how his form-fitting. "Or-," he stopped as Chan was suddenly in front of him, cupping his face.

"Baby, take a deep breath," he said kindly, and Minho glared at him, huffing softly but doing it anyways. "I'm so sorry for neglecting your needs. We've just been creating so much for the group and working on new stuff. I didn't know it was making you question yourself."

"Well, of course it does," he pouted and nervously played with his ring, looking down at it. "Just forget it, Channie. I'm being stupid, this whole idea was stupid from the beginning."

"What idea?" he chuckled softly.

"All of this," he said grumpily as Chan seemed to find it amusing.

"A warning would've been nice, kitten," he said, his voice growing smooth and low.

Minho blinked at him, and his stomach flipped at the desire dancing in Chan's pupils. "About what? The outfit, the flirting, the dance..the intention behind all of it?" he asked innocently.

Chan fondled up his thighs. "All of it?" he asked quietly and leaned in closer.

"Well, where's the fun in that?" Minho asked and sank deep into his eyes.

"I would've come prepared," he told him.

"Check my pockets," he smirked and hopped off the table.

Chan frowned softly before reaching into the pocket at the back. He couldn't help himself, teasingly squeezing his ass before pulling out two condoms. "Did you..?"

"No, I didn't carry them around on stage, you dumbass. I had them stored away in the waiting room," he protested, taking out the small bottle of lube from his jacket.

"Fuck Min. Are you sure we can do this now?" he asked, checking his phone for the time.

"Seriously? There are twenty performances before ours, which gives us at least an hour," he groaned impatiently. "But if you keep wasting time, we can't do this."

"You really came prepared, huh," Chan giggled, watching Minho impatiently unbuckling his belt. "You're in a rush?"

"Whatever you plan on doing, these trousers come off," he told him.

"That's a bummer. Your ass and thighs look really great in it," Chan pouted playfully.

"They look even better when I’m straddling your dick, now move or I'll do it myself," he gave back smoothly with a hint of sassiness. Chan pulled him into a very passionate kiss, intoxicating enough to keep him dazed. His hands grabbed his ass, pulling him close as their lips met. "That's more like it," Minho smiled as he pulled back.

Chan hummed gently and unbuttoned the blue-striped vest, kissing down his torso as more skin slowly revealed itself. "By the way, you look beautiful as always, and I don't mind you gaining weight one bit," he assured him before planting a loving kiss right on the scar on his stomach.

Minho smiled gently and brushed his hair back, looking down at him. "I know…you know how I get sometimes."

"I do," he smiled and squeezed his hips before coming back up and kissing him on the mouth instead. "I think after delivering such a show, you deserve to see how stunning you look when you fall apart."

Minho gasped softly and looked at him with wide eyes, darkening with passion. "Just be careful and don't leave a mark in places people will see with the new outfit."

"I'll be careful," he promised before turning him around so he was facing the mirror.

Minho leaned back against him, inspected their reflection, and met his eyes through the mirror. "Don't we look good together?"

"I think we fit together perfectly," Chan hummed, agreeing, and reached down into his pants, stroking his dick gently. Minho's eyes fluttered, lips parting with a gasp. Chan growled lowly and buried his nose in his neck. "Fuck Min, please tell me you're keeping this outfit. I need to fuck you properly in it tonight."

Minho blinked at him through the mirror. "Shit, is this one of your kinks, hyung?"

Chan pressed himself against him and gently wrapped his hand around his neck, careful not to leave any marks. "Call it whatever you want, kitten."

Minho shivered at the contact and melted against him. "I mean, I can ask if I can keep it," he said and chuckled as Chan let go of him, dropping down to his knees in front of him.

"You're right, I haven't been appreciating what I come home to every night enough," he tells him and fondles up his thighs. "Let me make it up to you," he said, taking the band of his boxers between his teeth and pulling them down, along with his pants.

"Where's Chan hyung?" Changbin asked, confused.

"Probably fucking Minho hyung's brains out, why?" Jeongin gave back dryly. The painfully loud silence called him to look up from his phone. "What?!"

"Sometimes it scares me how grown-up you are now," Hyunjin said with wide eyes. His words were rewarded with him sticking his tongue out at him.

"Maybe it's the other way around," Seungmin suggested with a shrug, casually scrolling through his phone.

"The suit might work," Jisung hummed, agreeing.

"I hate you all," Changbin groaned.

"Loosen up, babe," Felix smirked. "We all know he's right."

"Exactly," Jeongin grinned before squinting his eyes at Felix and Changbin. "Also, weren't you doing the same thing just minutes ago?"

"Darling, that's enough," Seungmin said softly.

"At this point, we should be allowed to do it on the sofa. Everyone knows anyway," he shrugged.

"Minho hyung, help!" Hyunjin shouted in shock, making everyone laugh. "He'd kick your ass for that."

"I'll go and get some coffee. Let's hope they're back to collect their kids after," Changbin sighed, and Felix giggled softly.

"You're their kid too, dumbass," Jisung pointed out.

"Yeah, fuck you too," he laughed.

Minho pulled up the zipper of his pants, smirking at Chan, fixing his messed-up hair. Their eyes met through the mirror, and Chan turned, again dropping to his knees. He hugged him tight, burying his face in his stomach for a moment before looking up at him with dreamy eyes. Minho beamed at him, gently brushing back his hair. He hadn't been this happy in a while, being on stage without thinking about his knee anymore. He had his friends there, a very supportive boyfriend, and gosh, he loved him. All that stupid drama, those many lows and equal ups in between had made them grow much closer than before. He wouldn't want it any different now. Minho was finally truly happy, ready to face whatever was coming with Chan right by his side. This time, he was sure he'd have his back. "Channie hyung?"

"Yes?" he asked sweetly.

"I love you," he said. "Never forget that."

"I think I'm addicted to you," Chan breathed out, and his eyes grew incredibly soft. "I love you more than anything else."

"You'd die for those kids out there. Don't put me first," he giggled softly.

"I'd die for you too," he told him. Minho believed him, truly.

"Stay alive for me, baby boy," Minho shook his head, crouching down and kissing him hard on the mouth as tears brimmed Chan's eyes.

"I love you too," he whispered and took his hand, kissing the ring. He got up and held up his pinky finger. “You and me against the world?”

“Forever,” Minho answered smiling, sealing the deal.

Chp. 20 | Back to the beginning

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the taglist!)

@atinyniki @kailee08 @mal-lunar-28 @aaasia111 @lilmisssona @galaxycatdrawz @silverstarburst @kthstrawberryshortcake @channieaddict @soullostinspaceandtime @malfoygalaxies @rebecca-johnson-28 @mellhwang @lixie-phoria @michelle4eve @xxstrayland @lost-in-avoidance

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xuxibelle · 2 years ago

Text

Just Looking (Version 2)

Pairing: Lee Dongmin x Reader

Word count: 4,736

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, mentions of touching

Requested: no - A rework of my previous fic by same title, changing characters

Summary: Y/N likes her friend’s boyfriend’s roommate but won’t let either of them do anything about it. Is she too ‘Old Fashioned’ to think the guy is still supposed to make the first move?

“I don’t see why you haven’t asked him out yet,” your best friend Stacy asks you as you finish applying your makeup in preparation for her boyfriend’s house party tonight. She was dragging you along yet again because she knows you have a thing for his friend Dongmin and of course he’ll be there, he lives there too.

“Stace, I can’t just ask him out. Guys are supposed to ask the girls out,” you tell her as you roll your eyes.

“Uhm, hello…. What century are you living in, Grandma?” she laughs at you. “How do you think I met Jungkook?”

“I never knew that,” you tell her as you look at her in the mirror and she nods with a smile.

“Yea, We kept running into each other and I finally just asked him to go get coffee one day,” she explained with a shrug.

“Cute, but not happening,” you tell her.

“Whyyyyy,” she whines.

“Not my style,” you tell her. “If he likes me, he’ll tell me, and NO you can’t tell him or Jungkook anything.” She gives you a pout and the puppy dog eyes and you just shake your head. “No,” you laugh, “If it’s meant to happen, it will happen on its own.”

“Fine,” she pouts as she crosses her arms. After you’re both finished getting ready, she talks you into heading over early to help set up for the party, which you know is only to have you around him more.

“There’s my two favorite girls,” Jungkook says as he welcomes you through the door with a hug. “Min, the girls are here,” he calls to his friend before you see him walk in from the kitchen with a smile. He was almost always smiling, one of the things you loved about him.

“Lovely to see you again, ladies,” he said as he reached you both, giving you both hugs. “Well, I guess I meant that mostly to Y/N cause I just saw you yesterday,” he laughs.

“That’s true,” Stacy laughs back as she glances at you. “So what else do you need to do for the party?” she asks.

“We’ve got most everything done,” Jungkook tells her. “Min was chopping some veggies in the kitchen and I was about to open the cups and set up the bar. Then I think the last thing is to set up the table.”

“Okay, You two go back to doing that and Y/N and I will do the table,” Stacy tells them before taking your hand and leading you towards the dining room. You reach for a stack of paper plates and take the plastic off, setting them down on one end of the table before Stacy glances up towards the kitchen. “Y/N,” she whispers.

“What?” you whisper back. “Why are we whispering?”

“He’s looking over here,” she whispers again.

“Oh stop it,” you shake your head and wave her off as she smiles at you. You grab a box of forks, opening them before you place them in a container on the table as well as a box of spoons and knives. You glance up towards the kitchen and meet his stare. You notice how his lips slowly start to curve up into a small smile before you quickly glance away as you feel your face flushing. You bite your lip as you look down at your hands reaching for a pack of napkins, opening them, placing them beside the container of cutlery.

“Why’s your face red,” she whispers.

“He caught me looking,” you whisper back and she giggles.

“Shut up,” you whisper-yell. “I told you I didn’t want to come in the first place.” Once you were finished with the table you walked into the living room and sat on the love seat, crossing your arms, and Stacy walked over to where Jungkook was setting up the bar.

“Hey, I’m done in here. If you don’t need me for anything else, I’m gonna go get ready,” Dongmin tells Jungkook.

“Yea, you’re good mate,” Jungkook tells him. You see him walk around the corner from the kitchen. He gives you a smile before he jogs up the stairs you assume to his room to get ready. You pull your phone out to distract yourself since Stacy is in the corner with her boyfriend and you have nothing else to do. People start arriving before you know it, and you see some people you recognize, so you actually get up to socialize. Standing off to the side of the living room with Stacy and a few other people in a conversation, you notice Dongmin making his way back downstairs and you can’t help but be distracted. Stacy also can’t help but notice your lack of sudden interest in the conversation you were just in and looks to see what pulled your attention, smiling when she realizes. When he reaches the bottom of the stairs, he stops and scans the crowd. A lot of people had arrived since he had gone up stairs. His eyes stop when they reach your group, landing on yours. Holding your stare for a few seconds with a dark look to his eyes, but once you realize what’s happening, you look away quickly. You turn your head to Stacy.

“I think I need a drink,” you tell her.

“You’ve got one,” she giggles. You take the cup in your hand, downing what was left as you look at her, making her shake her head before you walk off. You’re standing in the corner of the makeshift bar mixing your new drink when you hear an all too familiar voice.

“Gonna be a long night if you keep drinking like that, love” Dongmin tells you as he walks up beside you.

“And? You’re not the boss of me,” you sass him, feeling the alcohol take hold of you already.

“Wow, okay,” he laughs. “Feeling it already, huh?”

“So what if I am?” you say with a raised eyebrow. He shrugs his shoulders.

“Maybe you wanna slow down a little?” he asks you.

“Why would I wanna do that?” you ask.

“Cause you’re gonna feel terrible tomorrow,” he tells you as he moves a little closer to you. You turn to face him.

“So? I can handle it. Why do you care anyway? You’re not my boyfriend,” you scoff at him. He leaned closer to you, placing his hands on the counter on either side of you.

“I know you can handle it. I know you’re a big girl, you can take care of yourself. And no, I’m not your boyfriend,” he tells you as he keeps his face close to yours, bringing his hand up to lightly run down your jawline before continuing. “I could be, but not like this. I wouldn’t start it like this. Wouldn’t be right,” he finishes before quickly pulling back and walking away. You let out a rush of air, the breath that you’d been holding and didn’t realize.

“What the fuck?” you mumble to yourself before you down the half-drink you’d just made and make another. You walk back to Stacy and pull her to the side, telling her what happened, watching her eyes go wide. “The fuck does that mean? What am I supposed to do with that?”

“Breathe, Y/N.” she tells you as she puts a hand on your shoulder. “It means you need to sober up and go talk to him,” she tells you. “Go get some water, maybe something to eat, then go find him.” You nod your head as you take a few breaths and walk towards the table. You grab a bottle of water from the cooler on the way before you start to make a small plate. Once you make your plate you grab a napkin and a fork, looking up to make your way back to Stacy. Your eyes meet his across the living room and you stop in your tracks. He raises an eyebrow as he looks at you with a smile. You bite your lip and look away as you keep walking.

“He keeps looking at me,” you whine in her ear when you get back to her.

“What?” she asks confusedly.

“When I was leaving the table, he caught my eye when I was coming back over here and he raised his eyebrow like he was asking what I was doing and smiled,” you explain. “The fuck am I doing? I’m going home.”

“No! You should stay here and finish that and go talk to him,” she tells you.

“You know I won’t. You know I don’t have the balls to when I’m sober,” you tell her and she laughs.

“I do, but tonight is going to be different,” she tells you.

“How so,” you ask as you finish your water.

“Because you’ve already talked once, you can do it again,” she smiled. “And I think you’re ready. Let’s have you go out back and I’ll go find him and have him come out there for something.” You nod your head as you walk to the back door. To your surprise, there were actually not that many people outside for it to be as warm as it was. You leaned up against the rail looking up at the sky. It was a clear night and the stars were out. A few minutes later, you heard the door open very fast, making you spin around.

“What? There’s no fight out here,” Dongmin says as he looks around like he’s lost something.

“Maybe they broke it up already?” you offered as he looked over at you.

“What are you doing out here?” he asks.

“I needed a break,” you tell him. “Some quiet. To think.”

“Bout what,” he asks as he walks towards you.

“Everything,” you say as you look down at the deck. He holds your chin between his thumb and first finger, lifting your eyes to meet his.

“You ok?” he asks you softly. “You seem more… calm than earlier.”

“Yea,” you say quietly with a small smile. He leans in slowly and presses a soft peck to your lips making your eyes go wide. “Wh-what was that for?”

“Just cause,” he says.

“Cause why,” you laugh lightly.

“Cause I like you,” he tells you. You stare up at him. He reaches up and tucks a stray hair behind your ear. “Say something… please, or I’m gonna feel ridiculous,” he laughs.

“Uhm,” you start. “I, uh, I like you too.”

“Really?” he asks. You nod your head and bite your lip.

“Yea, for a while now. Stacy has been begging me to let her or Jungkook tell you but I wouldn’t,” you laugh.

“Why not,” he laughs back.

“I told her that if it was meant to happen, it would happen on its own,” you tell him with a shrug of your shoulders.

“But she... sent me out here tonight,” he tells you.

“Yes, but if you remember, we started talking at the bar first,” you explain as you tilt your head.

“Ah, true,” he says with a nod. “You’re so cute sometimes,” he tells you, making you blush and bite your lip. He cups your face in his hand, his thumb rubbing across your cheek to pull your lip from between your teeth. “You really need to stop doing that.”

“Why?” you ask softly.

“Makes me want to kiss you that much more,” he says as he watches your face flush, making him smile. You look down at your feet making him put a finger under your chin and lift your eyes back up to his. “Why do you always do that?” he asks you.

“Do what?” you question him.

“Look away from me?” he answers.

“You uhm...you make me nervous,” you admit. He reaches out and takes one of your hands in his, playing with your fingers.

“Is that so?” he asks. You nod lightly. “Why?”

“I-I… I don’t know,” you stammer out.

“I think you do,” he tells you. You shake your head and he grins at you. “Y/N,” he laughs.

“What?” you laugh back. He puts his free hand on your waist and pulls you close to him, making you close your eyes as your free hand presses into his chest.

“What are you doing?” he laughs again.

“N-nothing,” you say. You suck in a breath as you feel him run a finger down your jaw.

“Open your eyes,” he tells you. Hesitantly you open your eyes and you jump. He had leaned in closer than he was before, almost nose to nose. “Hi,” he whispered.

“Hi,” you squeak out and mentally curse yourself for letting your voice go higher than you wanted. Damn nerves. Damn Stacy for not letting you have SOME alcohol in your system when dealing with this. He leaned in a touch more and brushed his nose against yours, making you breathe in.

“You ok?” he asked.

“Mmhm,” you say as you nod.

“You sure?” he asks as he watches your eyes, watching for any sign that you wanted him to stop. You nodded your head again. He let go of your hand, putting that hand on the back of your neck as he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. Your eyes closed as you let out a whimper against his lips. You kept one hand on his chest as the other slid up into his hair. He moved his lips against yours, you doing the same. You felt him running his hands up and down your back as he slid his tongue across your bottom lip before slipping it inside to glide against yours, making you moan into the kiss. The longer you kissed, the more heated it got. Both his hands on your waist now, you feel his fingers slip under the hem of your shirt as he turns to lean himself against the rail to pull you closer to him. His fingers splay out across your lower back keeping you pressed against him, lips still moving against each other. You slide a hand down, slipping it under his t-shirt and running it up his chest. Running your fingers lightly along his collarbone, you barely curve your fingers to drag your nails down his chest making him shudder. You feel his fingers dig into your skin as he growls against your lips, biting your bottom lip as he pulls back to look at you. He places another kiss on your lips as he looks at you before he says, “God, you’re gorgeous.” You feel your face flush the most it has all night and you lean your head to his chest to hide your face. You feel his chest rumble as he laughs. “I love how cute you are,” he tells you.

“Stop teasing me,” you mumble with your face in his chest, making him laugh again.

“I’m not trying to tease you, love,” he laughs as he pulls you away from his chest. He pulls your face to look up at him. “I love that you blush so easily. I find it endearing. It’s sweet,” he tells you as he brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. “You know… I’ve thought about kissing you for so long,” he admits as he looks down at you. You glance up at him through your eyelashes as you bite your lip. He quickly takes your hips in his hands, twisting you around until you’re leaning against the railing and him leaning over you. “Can’t be doing that now, love,” he says in a low voice.

“B-but, I didn’t do anything,” you tell him, causing him to smile.

“You don’t even know what you do to me… Do you?” he asks as he leans his forehead against yours. You feel your face flush as you shake your head no and look at your feet. You hear him lightly laugh. “Y/N,” he almost whispers. You hum in response. “Look at me.” You slowly bring your eyes up to meet his. He reaches across himself taking your hand in his, bringing it up to his lips as he presses a kiss to your palm. “Will you… let me show you?” he asks quietly as he gauges your reaction as he slides your hand down his chest slowly. Your eyes watch your hand as he slides it down until you realize what he’s doing and your eyes grow wide and snap up to his causing him to giggle and bite his lip. “I love how innocent you are,” he tells you.

“Here??” you whisper yell as you look up at him. He nods his head.

“We’re not gonna do anything now. I just want to show you,” he tells you, leaning his forehead back to yours again. You swallow thickly keeping your eyes on his as he ghosts his lips over yours. Goosebumps spread over your skin, shivering as you feel his breath against your lips. When your fingers slip over his belt, he turns both his and your hands so your fingers point down. You notice his breathing increasing before he slips your covered hand down to palm himself through his slacks. He groans into your lips when he squeezes your hand against him. You feel his tongue brush against your lips as he licks his lips, making you shudder. The hand on your waist gripping you tighter as he pulls you closer. He closes the space between your lips, moving his against yours. You copy his actions, never breaking eye contact and your eyes grow wide as you feel him stiffen under your palm. He bites your bottom lip as he barely pulls back from the kiss, keeping your foreheads together and lips still touching. “Fuck… Y/N,” he breathes against your lips.

“That’s... not... just… because… of me,” you slowly say. A slow half-smile appears on his face.

“What else would have caused this?” he asked as he squeezed your hand around him causing your eyes to fly shut as you bite your lip and blush. You hear him chuckle before he releases your hand. You hear him suck in a breath as you move your hand from its previous place. He takes a small step back from you leaving a little space between you. He runs his thumb down your cheek before he pulls your face up so you meet his eyes once again. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, love,” he tells you quietly, lifting his other hand to brush your hair behind your ear. “I just know that… you’re one of the ‘good ones’ as they say,” he tells you as he lets out a little laugh and you finally see his face slightly flush pink for once. “I know you wouldn’t ever think you could do ‘that’ to someone so… I wanted to… prove it… to you, I guess? You just... You…” he stops mid sentence to cup your face in his hands and run his thumbs across your cheeks. “You’re so amazing. You just choose not to see it. It’s in the way you treat your friends, how you always stick up for people that are being treated badly, how you always treat people nicely and how you smile even when you are having a bad day. It’s how beautiful you are when you’re just waking up or when you’re asleep. It’s how your face lights up when you see a dog in the park or when you’re walking down the street, how you can make a sad or crying kid laugh and smile in minutes when no one else can, and it’s how your friends love you back. Sometimes there are those friends that you’re just like ‘eh whatever’ but then there are those friends that you would do anything for and I know your friends are like that with you, and I’m hoping we can grow closer too,” he smiles at you sweetly, brushing the tears off your cheeks with his thumbs. “Please don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry,” he says quietly. You raise your hands to grip his wrists as he still cups your face.

“I’m sorry,” you tell him. “I don’t mean to.”

“You’re okay?” he asks. You nod your head slightly.

“No one’s ever been so nice to me,” you admit as you gaze up at him. He leans down and presses a soft kiss to your lips.

“So, what do you say? You wanna head back inside? Mingle some more? Together?” he asks you with a playful wink that makes you slightly flush yet again. He laughs again as he takes your hand in his to pull you away from the railing, slipping his arm around your waist and yours around his as you walk back inside. You stop at the makeshift bar to grab drinks before returning to the party. You see Stacy sitting on Jungkook’s lap on the couch as you round the corner and you hide your face in Dongmin’s side as you see her smile widely and poke Jungkook in the chest. You feel his chest rumble as he laughs. You already know what he’s laughing at without asking. He squeezes at your side as he walks towards them and takes the seat beside them, pulling you down on his lap much like Stacy was sitting with Jungkook. She looked at you with eyebrows raised.

“Y/N?” Stacy called your name and you looked over at her, face slightly flushed.

“Yea,” you said.

“You got something you wanna tell us?” she asked. You thought for a second as she looked from Dongmin to Jungkook then back to you.

“Nope,” you said with a smile. Dongmin nearly choked on his drink laughing. “Sorry,” you told him as he coughed to catch his breath.

“No, that was great, love,” he laughed.

“Love?” Stacy said. “When did that happen?”

“Okay, nosey. Mind your own business,” you sass at her. She looks at you with her mouth hanging open.

“What has gotten into you tonight?” she laughs. “I like it.”

“We are in the middle of a party. I don’t like discussing private matters in a sea of people, most of whom I don’t know,” you tell her in a quiet voice.

“Alright… we can carry on this conversation… later… if you two wish,” she smiles at you, looking between you and Dongmin.

“Thank you,” you tell her as you turn your attention back to the party. Dongmin squeezes your side reassuringly as he turns placing a kiss to the side of your head.

“Breathe,” he whispers to you. “Never seen you so fiery.” You can feel him smiling against your hair.

“Too many people I don’t know to be talking about private things,” you whisper back. The party lasted another couple hours before everyone started trickling out. Finally everyone was gone by 3 and you all started cleaning the majority of the trash up, deciding to leave some for the next day.

“Okay… It’s just us four.... And he’s not in here for you to be shy around, so talk,” Stacy says as you’re cleaning up the table while the guys are in the kitchen, no doubt having this same conversation.

“Ugh, fine…” you grumbled as you rolled your eyes. You glanced over at the kitchen window surprised to see that Dongmin had been leaning against a counter facing you, already looking your way. You made a face at him, making him laugh before you turned away.

“What was that?” Stacy asked you.

“He was looking at me,” you tell her.

“So you make a face?” she questions you. You shrugged your shoulders. “Normally you turn red and walk away.”

“That was before the party,” you tell her.

“What happened?” she asked.

“Well, he said he liked me, and I said I liked him too,” you explain.

“Well… was that all?” she demanded.

“No,” you say as you shake your head.

“Ugh, What else is there?” Stacy groaned.

“I…” you started as you glanced up at Dongmin. He winked at you, making you flush slightly as you shook your head and smiled. “I don’t kiss and tell,” you said as you smiled at her. She let out an audible gasp.

“You did not...” she said as her mouth hung open making you laugh. You watched Dongmin, who was watching you, out of the corner of your eye. He tilted his head and he smiled to where it made his eyes crinkle. That was your favorite. He loved when you laughed. You nodded your head at Stacy. “But you could barely be around him before the party,” she said.

“I know,” you admit to her. “Honestly, I’m not even completely sure what happened.”

“And to think… you didn’t even want to come tonight,” she said as she crossed her arms.

“Oh shut it,” you said as you threw a balled up napkin at her, making Dongmin laugh.

“So… are you… dating?” she asked you. You shrugged your shoulders.

“Dunno,” you tell her. “Doesn’t matter to me right now.”

“Really?” You hear Dongmin’s voice say in your ear making you jump as he wraps his arms around your waist.

“Fuck you scared me,” you laugh as he turns to nuzzle his face in the crook of your neck. “Stop,” you giggle, “that tickles.” You feel him laugh against your skin before he pulls back just enough so you can hear him speak clearly.

“Not until you say you’re my girlfriend,” he tells you as he starts digging his fingers into your sides, tickling you.

“Okay, Okay… I give. Please stop,” you say between laughs. He shakes his head.

“You have to say it,” he tells you in a laugh. You try to catch your breath.

“I do,” you tell him as you try to grab his hands and pull them away from you.

“You really think you can pull my hands away?” he laughs. He turns you around in his grasp to face him. You’re red faced and breathless from the tickling. “Catch your breath,” he tells you. It takes you a minute, but your breathing finally comes back to normal. “You good?” he asks and you nod in return. “Good, cause here’s round two,” he smiles at you. Before you have time to protest, he’s back at it, fingers digging into your sides again.

“Please,” you beg.

“Tell me,” he says. You take in a gasp of air.

“I’m…” you start between breaths of air and laughter. You take in another breath. “Yours,” you breathe out and his fingers stop their movements. Your breathing starts to slow as he lets you calm down. Once you can breathe normally again, you look up at him and smile. “I’ve been yours since the day we met.” His hands on your waist pull you to him and he presses his lips to yours. Your hands grab onto his arms for support before sliding up to wrap around his neck and pulling him down to you. You move your lips against his and you feel him smile against your lips before he begins to move his against yours.

“Okay, lovebirds, break it up,” Jungkook says as he walks into the dining room. “We eat in here.” You bite his bottom lip as you both pull away from the kiss making him knit his eyebrows together and whine.

“We need to go,” Stacy tells you and you pout with a laugh from everyone in the room. “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll see each other tomorrow,” she says in a kiddie voice as she pats you on the head.

“Oh fuck off,” you tell her as you shove her hand away and walk towards the coat closet to grab your purse and jacket, Dongmin close behind you.

“You okay?” he asks as you reach the closet door.

“Yea, I’m fine. She’s just teasing me and she knows I don’t like it,” you explain. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you to him and placing a kiss to the top of your head. “Thank you,” you tell him.

“For what? I didn’t do anything,” he says quietly.

“Yes you did,” you laugh. “You checked on me just now, for one. The two reasons you had me in tears tonight would be number two,” you laughed, “just tonight in general, I guess.” you smile as you look up at him.

“My pleasure,” he says before he leans down to press a soft kiss to your lips.

@shyboyjeno

#astro cha eunwoo #astro eunwoo #cha eunwoo #eunwoo #eunwoo smut #lee dongmin #dongmin #astro dongmin #astro lee dongmin

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for-yoongi0309 · 1 year ago

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SUGA IS A VOICE OF AUTHENTICITY IN A SUPERFICIAL WORLD

VOGUE JAPAN’s first ever solo male cover star SUGA opens up about mindfulness, procrastination, and how his relationship with music has changed.

For VOGUE JAPAN’s August issue, our theme is “INNER BEAUTY”; in other words, searching beyond the surface to see what really drives our dreams and desires. What better icon to represent this than SUGA? By navigating an industry obsessed with the superficial, the megastar is a voice of depth and authenticity, fearlessly candid about the internal struggles he’s faced, and the expectations he carries as one of Asia’s most successful artists. SUGA is also the first man to appear solo on the cover of VOGUE JAPAN in its 24 year history. Wearing Valentino’s Fall/Winter 2023 Black Tie collection, the South Korean artist is a celebration of a world where the connections between gender, fashion, and music are increasingly intertwined.

When it comes to music, SUGA is a true multi-hyphenate. A member of BTS, a rapper, a songwriter, and a producer for various global artists, he also performs solo under the stage name Agust D. His solo moniker is derived from SUGA spelled backwards, with the D referring to Daegu Town, a city in South Korea where he grew up.

In a Q&A with VOGUE JAPAN, before his Japan tour which was held on the 2nd-4th June, we asked SUGA about his first solo world tour, his solo album ‘D-DAY’, and what he does to stay motivated when it all feels like too much. He also opened up about how his approach to making music has changed over the years, offering his answer on a personal handwritten note. It reads: “At first I thought it was fate. Then, when I was writing songs and working, I thought of it as a kind of frenemy. Now I’ve come to think of writing music as family – something that I will spend eternity with.”

The culmination of a trilogy – The latest album D-DAY

Q: What’s the meaning behind the album ‘D-DAY’?

Solo Album ‘D-DAY’ completes the Agust D trilogy (the Agust D mixtape from 2016, and the D-2 mixtape from 2020). It’s like the second chapter of my story as Min Yunki.

Q: The title track "Haegeum" is about liberation. What does liberation mean to you?

I think I have experienced, seen, and heard a lot [in my life]. Just as essential as relaxing, I think the most important thing in life is to liberate your mind so that it’s free of negative emotions. I felt that way especially while working on this album.

Q: You featured RM on the last album "D-2" and this time you’re featuring J-HOPE. How did the collaboration come about behind the scenes?

We needed a rapper to feature on this album as well, so we looked for the most trustworthy rapper we could find. I’ve been working with J-HOPE on making music for over 10 years, and so we decided to entrust it to him

Q: You also collaborated with Ryuichi Sakamoto and met him when you visited Japan.

He had been doing music for such a long time, and was someone I hugely admired and looked up to, so it was an honor just to meet him. He gave me a lot of advice as a mentor, and the conversations we had together were a great help in finishing the album

Q: You experimented with drill music on D-DAY. Are there any particular sounds you would like to take on in the future?

As people involved in pop music, I think it’s our job to challenge ourselves to seek out the trendiest music and sound of the moment.

Q: I heard that you were stuck working on D-DAY in Seoul, so you went to Dangjin City by yourself and spent some time up in the mountains. How did that help?

When I’m in Seoul there are so many things to do, and so when I get stuck working on a song I tend to procrastinate and beat myself up about it. But when I go somewhere else, there’s nothing to do except working on the music, and I can start to feel the passion again.

Q: In the documentary film SUGA: Road to D-DAY, you visited musicians such as Steve Aoki, Halsey, and Anderson Paak. What did you learn from these experiences?

It's interesting to talk about music with other people who are involved in it too. More so than realizing and learning something, it’s really just about talking and having a good time together.

Q: You mentioned in the documentary that you wrote the song ‘Snooze’ for this album while you were in the hospital. What motivates you to continue writing songs to cheer people up, even when you were in a situation that you couldn’t even eat?

Of course, it’s important to take a break when times are tough. But I just did what I had to do, thinking that it would be a waste to take a break, because I knew I would recover eventually. I think anyone else would do the same if they were in a similar situation.

Q: In the FAQ for the BTS anthology album "Proof," you mentioned feeling inferior as the most important emotion. Have your feelings changed now that you have completed this album, which marks the end of your career as Agust D?

I feel that I have grown even more through the Agust D Trilogy, and I think I have overcome my complexes and traumas through making this album. Now, I’m feeling relaxed after my first show, and enjoying the tour without worrying too much.

Long-awaited first solo world tour – The message behind the music

Q: In the past, you have worked on songs during your world tours. Are there any new songs that have been created?

I wouldn’t say I write more songs during any specific time. I’m always writing songs.

Q: The documentary SUGA: Road to D-DAY showed you when you were in a slump, saying that you had no message to convey with the album. Did you come up with a message as you went around the country on tour?

When working on the production [of an album], I always worry about what kind of story I’m telling and what kind of messages to include and so when have a story I want to tell, I immediately start working on it. While working on this album, the words I wanted to convey started to come to me, and I’m sure they’ll keep coming.

Q: What are you looking forward to seeing in Japan?

Our last tour in Japan was in 2019. I wanted to perform there after that too, but it wasn't possible, so this will be the first time for a while. I hope that everyone who has been waiting for me there will be able to enjoy the show to its fullest.

Music and career – Relationship with the members

Q: It has been about 20 years since you began your career and started writing rap songs. How has your relationship with the music changed over that time?

At first I thought it was fate [for me to make music]. Then, when I was writing songs and working, I thought of it as a kind of frenemy. Now I’ve come to think of writing music as family – something that I will spend eternity with.

Q: Is there a moment in your career that was a turning point?

The biggest turning point for me was my first visit to the Billboard Awards in 2017

Q: This June marks a full 10 years since your debut as BTS. What feeling defines that decade for you?

Gratitude. I have been working as an artist and making music since before my debut, but back then I was one of those nameless artists who made music that no one would listen to. Now, I’ve been able to meet my fans and see many people that listen to my music. I am always grateful for that.

Q: What are your fondest memories of the past 10 years? What were the most enjoyable moments?

I have a lot of good memories of touring with the BTS members. The most enjoyable moments are when we’re all on stage.

Q: You often say that you “imagine a future where the seven members of BTS will be together forever”.

We really believe that the seven of us in BTS will always be together, and I believe there are clear things we can do in each of our respective areas. Each one of us has their own unique sphere, and there’s a mutual respect there. I think having that respect is the most important thing.

Q: In an interview with GQ KOREA two years ago, you said, “I have no dreams now, but that makes it easier.” Then, in the documentary, you said, “There is nothing I want to do”. You also said that you want to cherish the present. What is your next “dream”?

Apart from the seven of us making music together and being on stage for a long time to come, I think I have fulfilled almost all of my dreams.

Q: What is something you would like to tell your juniors, or the people that look up to you?

Everything will be fine. There will be times when you feel at your worst. I’ve had that kind of time too. But when you look back at it, it becomes a memory, and you can learn from it. It’ll be okay in the end.

The inseparable mind and body – Dealing with internal struggles

Q: How did you arrive at the idea that regret is in the past, anxiety is in the future, and to focus on the here and now? Do you practice mindfulness?

From a very young age, I was anxious about both the past and the future. I was worried and concerned even though I had no control over it. At one point I felt that it would be easier if I just got rid of those feelings, so I did a lot of things, like meditating and studying.

Q: We live in a world that places a lot of importance on remaining authentic. What kind of person do you think is an authentic person?

A natural person. Someone who doesn't struggle to do everything well, who doesn't hide the things they can’t do, and who shows their true self to the world.

Q: How do you feel about your own mind/body connection?

When my mental condition is not so good or when I’m worried about something, my body reacts to it immediately, even if I’m physically fine. On the other hand, if I’m not in a good physical condition, it also affects my mental health. So I think it’s important to maintain a balance between mental and physical health.

Off-stage SUGA – The real Min Yunki

Q: If you were to describe your personality in three words, what would they be?

Hmmm... that's difficult. 1, hard to figure out. 2, calm. 3, an observer.

Q: In the SUGA: Road to D-Day documentary, you visited friends all over the world. In ‘Dear My Friends’ from the last D-2 record, you sang about friendships that have changed. How have your friendships changed this time around?

All of my close friends now are people who doesn’t force others to be or to do something they don’t wish to. I think that kind of relationship is the ideal.

Q: What kind of people do you find attractive?

People who are spontaneous and positive.

Q: How would you describe your style?

Relaxed.

Q: You have such clear skin – what’s your beauty routine?

I don't have a routine. I simply apply lotion and that’s it.

Q: Finally, what does ARMY [BTS’s fandom name] mean to you?

I enjoy making music and performing on stage, but I’m only able to do that because of my fans. There is no point in standing alone on a big stage. Half of everything I’m able to do is possible because of ARMY.

Styling: Youngjin Kim, Bongkyu Kim

Clothes + accessories: VALENTINO

Hair: Sohee Han　

Makeup: Dareum Kim　

Set Design: Takashi Imayosh

Coordination: Ayumi Shinnai, Hyeonjeong Kyung　

Art Direction: Tomoyuki Yonezu

#ultkpopnetwork #mgroupsedit #idolsincedits #maleidolsedit #yoongi #suga #min yoongi #bangtan #bts #i. interviews #mg.vogue jpn'23

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destinyamunique · 9 months ago

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Ways to Access Your Feminine Energy Tips

On the journey of girlhood, we are not fully taught how to take care of ourselves. Instead, we are given the awkward talk about our period and how we are coming into womanhood, with warnings to be careful around boys. There is confusing propaganda about what a feminine being should be, with many different ideas presented. As a result, many beautiful ladies have gone through life thinking they were "just female" and that there is nothing special about being a feminine being. They endure being catcalled now and then, facing sexist experiences in the workplace, comparing themselves to ever-changing beauty standards, dealing with uterus problems, and so much more.

Women are the healers, lovers, makers, and destroyers, we have played so many meaningful roles in history and even now. It is time for women to come back to our juicy feminine energy these are my tips for accessing your feminine energy.

Sensuality

Sensuality is in all of us you don't have to cast some magic spell to get it. How to get to the feeling of sensuality is by taking a step inside yourself and being present with your senses. My favorite way to exercise my senses is when i am cooking smelling the food cooking in the pan, listening to the sound of vegetables being chopped on the cooking board, tasting the food to make sure it has enough seasoning, and then plating my food making sure it looks presentable. I also find sensuality in dancing which leads to my next point.

Dancing

How can i really go into the explanation of dance I mean it dancing! How could you not love it?! I know it can be a little embarrassing to think of yourself dancing if you are an overthinker. I can be a thinker myself and get a little shy but what I do is shift it. I start to think I am this confident, sexy person who can dance and then I just do it. After you finish reading this post I want you to take 10 mins out of your day to dance and then see how you feel.

Getting Creative

Getting creative can be hard for some of us so I can understand feel you can't. So if you are a person who does know where to start to get creative let me give you a list.

<3 Drawing

<3 Finding diys on YouTube

<3 Scrapbooking

<3 What is something you do a lot in your daily life how can you make that better?

<3 Sewing if you are willing to learn

<3 Going in your closet and try to create a fashion-forward outfit even if you have to fake it till you make it

<3 New hobbies don't need to an expensive one

<3 Try looking up art to get inspired

The last and final one is

Giving yourself the space to be you

If we can't be a safe space for ourselves we would find shelter from the rain.

Reflect on your values and ask yourself are the actions you take align with the true you. Set boundaries with people and even yourself if needed.

Become aware of yourself then take action with self-compassion. Trying to become aware of yourself can sometimes be these wow moments when even surprise ourselves with the things we discover it can be crazy. Don't try to figure out in a day all the things you are not aware of (I tried to do this before) just be in a present state with your thoughts and actions log them down in a journal or a phone. And just also remember whatever comes up remember to keep compassion with yourself and think about the inner child in you that deserves kind words.

THANK YOU FOR READING I HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY DAY FULL OF GORG ENERGY! AND HEAL THAT POWERFUL FEMININE INSIDE OF YOU!

bye bye my beautiful babes

#law of assumption #self concept #self care #spirituality #self love #feminine energy #divine feminine #the sacred feminine #feminine empowerment

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feuqueerfire · 10 months ago

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2024 Anticipated Series & Movies

2022 Anticipated BLs & GLs || 2023 Anticipated BLs & GLs || Live Blogging

Shows released in 2024 I’m anticipating: Released, Releasing, To Be Released (with/without release dates)

Show

Country:

Release Dates: Watch Via: platform link (free/paid)

Status: 👀 To Watch || ⏸️ Currently Watching || ✅ Watched || ❌ Dropped

Watch Dates: Month x - y, 2023 (#)

Rating: /10

Initial Impression:

Overall Impression:

tags:

Also Appears In: [Live Blogging, AO3 link], (Month) 2024 Wrap-Up

Released

These are shows that have ended in 2024 that I’m interested in - ordered by their end date. Note: If it finishes in 2024, it’s a 2024 show for me.

Love for Love's Sake

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Jan 24, 2024 - Feb 1, 2024

Watch Via: paid, so :>

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Feb 1 - 2, 2024 (#2), Sep 7 - 10, 2024

Rating: 6/10

Initial Impression: Positive reaction + Cha Woongki is in it

Overall Impression: It was cute, the concept was nice, the early 2 eps were Very promising and last ep was touching but the middle (esp 5-6) was quite meh for me. There was also a bunch of confusing stuff, esp in the second half, but I guess I won't try to investigate too much. It has people really talking and discussing and dissecting it though, which is a fun aspect.

Rewatch Impression: It's alright. I think I enjoyed the middle bit a bit more this time around but I'm still not super attached to the characters and this time, I got really bored by the last quarter even though it's supposed to be really quite emotional. The rating stays the same.

tags: love for love's sake

Also Appears In: Love For Love's Sake Live Blogging, February 2024 Movies/Shows Wrap-Up, September 2024 Wrap-Up TODO

Pit Babe

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Nov 17, 2023 - Feb 9, 2024

Watch Via: iQiyi (paid, so :>)

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Feb 7 - 11, 2024 (#3)

Rating: 6/10 [May 12, 2024 Update: Decreased by 0.5 stars when rerating shows I’ve watched in 2024: 6.5 -> 6]

Initial Impression: Ahh, the tiktok clips I saw of eps 1 - 2 drove me a bit crazy, I loveee boyish, cute tops and then learned that apparently this is the A/B/O drama? but they’re both alphas (or rather - spoiler from tiktok comments - that Charlie’s an enigma?). and also seems like Charlie’s some sort of spy who will betray Babe? Man I kinda wanna just start watching it lol but it doesn’t end till Feb 9 next year smh give me 2 eps a week smh Anyway idk I feel like it has a lot of tropes I like, so maybe... if they can pull it off... I’d be thankful

Overall Impression: This show had everything: non-traditional alpha/alpha relationship, racecar competitions, x-men like superpowers, child trafficking, pseudo-incest if you think about it (from Kenta's side at least) and more. And it didn't have a super strong script, there were nonsensical elements and plot holes that didn't get addressed and things that happened to just move the plot along, but it was a fun watch nonetheless, both for the novelty and the entertainment factor. Babe was a very compelling character with his past and how he behaves in the present and his relationships with Tony/Way/people in general. Also helped that Pavel did a really good job with him and acted his ass off, there were quite a few emotional moments in there. I agree with some people's comments that I wish Charlie's actor Pooh as a better actor. And his character wasn't as developed or with depth as the other ones either, like in terms of emotions I guess. Although I really liked Charlie/Babe, my true ship winners might be Pete/Kenta in a Not Me ToddBlack fashion, to be honest, with Kenta as maybe my favourite character (2nd is Babe). They gave us like 2 tiny hints that they might know each other and waited until literally last 10 mins of episode 11 out of 13 to lay out their history. They have an interesting friends (-> brothers/crush) -> enemies -> allies again at the very end dynamic where I think that they could become lovers post-canon. Really had me writing a fic idea in my notes app after my few months of no drive to write.

tags: pit babe

Also Appears In: Pit Babe Live Blogging, February 2024 Movies/Shows Wrap-Up

The Sign

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Nov 25, 2023 - Feb 11 (24), 2024

Watch Via: Youtube

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Feb 20 - 24, 2024 (#4)

Rating: 6/10 [May 12, 2024 Update: Decreased by 0.5 stars when rerating shows I’ve watched in 2024: 6.5 -> 6]

Initial Impression: Another Idol Factory offering and this time more plot-based. It seemed to have REALLY good reception || The finale still isn't properly available yet so I don't really know how people will feel about the end but oh well, I'm gonna end up watching it either way because of how much people have been loving it

Overall Impression: I think I liked the first few eps and the potential of the series and the possibilities than I liked the actual series oof. Since everybody freaking loved this, I also had high expectations. I thought there would be more focus on the romance and fantasy and past lives aspect and less on the cop activity. I feel like they didn't choose the correct things to show on screen. I think most of the fight scenes and stuff were confusing and not choreographed very well, and some moments needed to have more time dedicated to them or have more gravitas to them. However, some moments were just shot/directed so beautifully. I enjoyed the parallels between Tharn and Phaya or their current life and past life. It shows the cyclical nature of Phaya and Tharn's lives, and it would've been even more impactful if we saw more of their past lives (their OG life or other reincarnations). Highly doubt I'm gonna think of the characters again, I somehow stopped being attached to them about halfway through - probably related to the fact that I liked the first few eps (half?) of the show better. They tried so many things, but I don't think they satisfyingly merged them or chose the correct things to focus on on-screen.

tags: the sign

Also Appears In: The Sign Live Blogging, February 2024 Movies/Shows Wrap-Up

Cherry Magic

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Dec 9, 2023 - Mar 2, 2024

Watch Via: ;>

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Aug 3 - 7, 2024 (#17)

Rating: 6.5/10

Initial Impression: It was getting generally good buzz, so I was curious but this Tumblr post talking about the Thai BL landscape recently and saying CM might be better than the original made me seriously consider watching it. I think I’m also more receptive to Thai shows with this sort of storyline/dynamic more than Japanese shows, so hopefully I’ll actually like the series this time.

Overall: I’m glad that I ended up liking this adaptation better than the Japanese Cherry Magic live-action which was meh to me. Karan and Achi were cute and endearing (and felt more human/real to me than Kurosawa and Adachi I think?). i’m so charmed by Jinta and Min actually, a vast improvement from the japanese version’s equivalent. I liked getting my little taste of celeb/non-celeb dating and typical idol show problems from them too. On the other hand, I didn’t care about Pai and Rock ship whatsoever, though they were okay as standalone characters. I enjoyed the adaptation and how it had the Japanese touches (the company try work for specifically) while also introducing Thai elements (religion, festivals, dialects). Great improvement on the kissing department and I’m glad they also squeezed the wedding in there.

tags: cherry magic th

Also Appears In: Cherry Magic TH Live Blogging, August 2024 Wrap-Up

Dead Friend Forever - DFF

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Dec 23, 2023 - Mar 9, 2024

Watch Via: iQiyi (paid, so :>)

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Mar 4 - 9, 2024 (#5)

Rating: 7/10

Initial Impression: Be On Cloud production with actors who I'm not super keen on (Ta followed Andrew Tate on Twitter when I last checked…) but it's like a slasher, so I'd be curious to check it out. <- added to Considering when the first ep or 2 were out || 240229 - Added to Watchlist: I’ve been meaning to watch this since like ep 1 came out and I learned it was supposed to be horror-esque/slasher and seems like people have been loving it even more these past few eps. I’m actually so excited to check it out, I hope I love it and it rots my brain.

Overall Impression: I think this show landed the ending which is very satisfying. I was afraid that's where this show was leading because of certain choices in writing in eps 10 and 11 and that maybe they were gonna go for a kinda-happy ending to make it a BL but I really enjoyed it. Also interesting that there were so many predictions but despite them not being true, the finale still managed to be coherent based on what the first 11 episodes had set up for us while still surprising me. I enjoyed the first 4 eps and last few episodes more because it was more about the actual thriller/horror aspects whereas the middle 3 - 4 episodes were just so difficult to get through due to the bullying and police and Non getting dragged in more and more D: It had some good moments like Phee and Non's relationship etc but in general, just sad. I kept wanting it to move on to when Phee (and New) come up with the plan or to just go back to the cabin and the horrors. I think some characters were done really well while others were not, like they are all flawed and varying degrees of terrible but I have some that really compelled me (Tan, Tee, Fluke - liked these 3 enough to write so many words about them in another Tumblr post) vs those who fell flat for me and the main characters (Phee, Jin) kinda fell into that.I'm glad something like this exists in BL (though there wasn't much real romance in it lol). It also made me write so many words and posts on here, really gives you the itch to Discuss because of the different threads and characters and motivations and secrets.

tags: dead friend forever

Also Appears In: Dead Friend Forever Live Blogging, March 2024 Movies/Shows Wrap-Up

Jazz for Two

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Mar 26, 2024 - Mar 29, 2024

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Via: iQiyi (paid, so ;>)

Watch Dates: Apr 11 - 12, 2024 (#7)

Rating: 6/10

Overall: Nobody in this drama asks before kissing lol not Doyoon, not Seheon, not the little kiss that Seheon's brother gave to sleeping Taejoon, and the other two, Juha and Taeyi, are experts in being creeps and having internalized homophobia that they direct outwardly to the guys they like as well (Seheon's brother fits here too lol). Yet, I enjoyed it a fair amount, the story was coherent (lots of open strands at the end though...), the acting was fine, I was endeared by Doyoon (is he the Omega X kid?), and the dynamics were enjoyable, if iffy on certain counts. Not super attached though.

tags: jazz for two

Also Appears In: Jazz For Two Live Blogging, April 2024 Wrap-Up

Blank - Season 1

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Mar 2, 2024 - Apr 7, 2024

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Via: Youtube

Watch Dates: July 1 - 4, 2024 (#14)

Rating: 6.5/10

Initial: Only season 1 is out for now and apparently it ends on a cliffhanger, so idk if I should be adding it to the watchlist quite yet but I want age gap GL (w dubious morality? idk what the discourse is about tbh), so I’ll add it and hope S2 is released in May as expected and turns out well. Also might watch/rewatch with Phoebe Rise's better subs, esp S1.

Overall: A dramatic, intense, first half of an age gap GL and though the plot is ridiculous sometimes (mother, father, and daughter all in love with Khun Nueng at different points in life), I was invested. The acting was good, the storyline was good, I'm into the age gap and honestly expected it to be a little worse based on how people were talking about it lol. I loved getting to see Nueng play a character which I'm more accustomed to seeing in male love interests (or at least in the YA fantasy I used to read as a teen lol): she's callous, she's closed-off, she doesn't show her emotions/weaknesses and will be publicly cruel while having a heart-of-gold and breaking down in private. I'm looking forward to the next part. Also, I'd totally forgotten about the subs link whelp, I understood what was going on nearly all of the time despite the meh subs, so it's fine.

tags: blank the series

Also Appears In: Blank S1 & S2 Live Blogging TODO, July 2024 Wrap-Up

Unknown

Country: Taiwan

Release Dates: Feb 24, 2024 - Apr 20, 2024

Watch Via: Viki b/c better subs but free on Youtube

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: June 13 - 17, 2024 (#11)

Rating: 6.5/10

Initial Thoughts: I’d been keeping an eye on it since it started releasing and it got pretty high praise all throughout. I think I can get into the we’re-not-biological-brothers-but-we-grew-up-together-as-brothers dynamic

Overall: I'm so glad I got over my pseudo-incest brother-lover aversion because I can now watch this stuff in delight. Though I must say, my favourite aspect of this show is the little family trio with Qian, Yuan, and Lili, with San Pang occasionally invited as well. I loved how they cared for each other and how though Lili was left out of the romantic duo inside their trio, it didn't feel like she was forgotten or sidelined. The romance itself, I think the development was nice, especially from Yuan's side since we saw how he thought of Qian and how he supported him and we also saw a bit of from Qian's when when Yuan was gone + when he returned. Since there was so much angst and build-up for like 10 episodes, their actual coming together should have been grander. Feels like their relationship actually switching to lovers wasn't treated with enough gravitas and seemed a bit too much too fast and they didn't seem to emotionally struggle with the switch at all, though I would've expected a bit from Qian. Lastly, Qian is so beautiful, like incredibly attractive to me, woah.

tags: unknown

Also Appears In: Unknown Live Blogging, June 2024 Wrap-Up

23.5

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Mar 8, 2024 - May 24, 2024

Watch Via: Youtube

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Apr 27 - May 24, 2024 (#8)

Rating: 6/10

Initial Impression: We've been waiting on this for so long, the last one from the GMMTV 2023 batch that I'd been looking forward to. Hope it lives up to the hype.

Overall: GMMTV's first GL and MilkLove's first full GL; I was super excited, especially after having watched MilkLove in Bad Buddy and the Magic of Zero special, which is why I started watching this on-air (thought I'd start it even earlier than ep 8 but didn't because of exams). So it's a shame that I feel so... nothing about the show, especially the main couple; I think Aylin/Luna is my fave ship in here. I think I also just wasn't much in the mood for a silly high school romance series right now, which isn't the show's fault but contributed to why I didn't feel the pull to continue watching the show. When I did watch it, it could get pretty cute though, I giggled/gushed a few times, especially about Luna and Aylin. The teachers' storyline was cute too, though barely there. Aylin was the MVP for sure.

tags: 23.5 degrees

Also Appears In: 23.5 Degrees Live Blogging Eps 1 - 8, Eps 9 - 12, May 2024 Wrap-Up

Spaceless (2024)

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: June 4, 2024

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Via: Youtube (free)

Watch Dates: June 4, 2024 (#10)

Rating: 5.5/10

Overall: Got spoiled about the sad ending and what happens, so I prepared myself for that but it was still like you did all this on the first week of pride?! jail!! It did make me look forward to 4 minutes more though, after seeing Bible acting after SO LONG + seeing the natural interactions and chemistry between Bible and Jes. It was also a bit interesting/new to see Bible acting as just a regular guy who has a crush on somebody else rather than Vegas in flashy clothes committing crimes. I would've rated it higher if I felt anything for the characters tbh but I think I knew too much to get involved and also was like man... to both of the characters.

Also Appears In: June 2024 Wrap-Up

My Stand-In

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Apr 26, 2024 - Jul 12, 2024

Watch Via: iQiyi, so ;>

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: June 25 - July 13, 2024 (#13)

Rating: 7/10

Initial: new Up show + everybody is morally corrupt + everybody seems to love ep 1. The synopsis seemed confusing, so I wasn't super interested at first, but seems like it's about somebody dying and the mother resurrecting him only he came back Wrong (because the wrong person came back in the body)? sounds cool

Overall: How does Ming live knowing he never faced Joe's original body while having sex?! A permanent body switch should have more despair, Joe is just stuck in this random guy's body forever while his own body was cremated... horrific omg. I knew going into the show that Ming is supposedly a terrible person who treats Joe shittily and Joe keeps going back to it and I think that preparation helped me really enjoy the show. The show redeems Ming by the end but it doesn't necessarily pretend that Ming actually treated Joe well back then, Ming's shittiness was the point. It's a fun show and I was excited to see Ming realize how much Joe truly meant to him rather than his crush on Tong (also, fuck Tong's attempted redemption!). I found Ming and Joe so cute together man, like when the times were good, they were soooooo good. Overall, a good show, definitely one of the better BLs this year and one where I wasn't disappointed compared to the hype.

tags: my stand-in

Also Appears In: My Stand-In Live Blogging Eps 1 - 10, Ep 11, Ep 12, July 2024 Wrap-Up

Wandee Goodday

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: May 4, 2024 - Jul 20, 2024

Watch Via: GMMTV Youtube (free)

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: June 1 - DROPPED, 2024 (#9)

Rating: -/10 but maybe a tentative 5/10

Initial: People have been really enjoying it and I wanted to be part of the convo/see the convo in real time, so I started it as well when ep 5 was out.

Overall: I was so excited for this based on how people were talking about the first 4 or so episodes, which I also thoroughly enjoyed once I started watching. But in the middle it felt character motivations and actions were inconsistent and I was confused about certain narrative choices (the kiss...) and so didn't really feel the urge to keep up week to week after ep 8. I was gonna binge eps 9 - 12 at once but I realized that I actually do not care because most things I've read about those few episodes made me dread watching it and I don't think I'd enjoy it. I saw a few gifs

tags: wandee goodday

Also Appears In: Wandee Goodday Live Blogging Eps 1 - 5, Ep 6, Ep 7, Ep 8, June 2024 Wrap-Up, July 2024 Wrap-Up

Century of Love

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Jul 10, 2024 - Aug 8, 2024

Watch Via: Youtube

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: July 27 - Aug 8, 2024 (#18)

Rating: 6.5/10

Initial Impression: Watching this could be cool with 2 episodes a week, so the wait won't be as long until next episode and we'll get double the length per week. It hasn't been released yet, so I'm Very Tentatively putting this on the watchlist because idk why I like seeing DaouOffroad clips/pics on my twitter these days even though I haven't even watched Love In Translation smh. The trope of loml-reincarnated-into-a-man D: is doesn't specifically call to me but I'm not opposed to it at all. honestly I could get into it if done well or done toxic in a delicious way because I don't remember First Love, Again at alllll. anyway, we'll see with this one. || Okay, people seem to loveee it so far (5/6 eps out) and I've also grown more and more curious, so this one seems to be the next one, hoot

Overall: I think this show had a strong first half but the last two episodes were irritating and kind of forgot what the show was about in the first place. I enjoyed the 120-something year old San and his little family that spans generations, I like San's grumpy nature contrasted with Vee's bright demeanor, I liked the question of whether Vee is the real Wad reincarnation, I liked their romance and the tinge of sexiness, I liked San being cold to the idea of even doing anything with Vee but progressing to fall in love and ultimately choosing Vee regardless of whether he's the reincarnation or not. loved Juu! She was sooo cute and gorgeous and the acting was good, I want to see her more. But then for the last 3 episodes, we spent too much time with the flat, one-note villains with ridiculous fight scenes, hiding (ridiculous!!!) the stone situation from Vee and SanVee being separated and not on the same page instead of tackling this together, and no answers to one of the main aspects of the show (is Vee the Khun Wad reincarnation?) - just lipservice of "let the past be the past" as an afterthought. The premise and set-up of the show were good but it just fell flat at the end.

tags: century of love

Also Appears In: Century of Love Ep 1 - 8, Eps 9 - 10 Live Blogging, August 2024 Wrap-Up

Love Sea

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Jun 9, 2024 - Aug 11, 2024

Watch Via: iQiyi (free trial)

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Aug 22 - 28, 2024 (#20)

Rating: 6/10

Initial Impression: I was going to watch the sex scenes even if nothing else because of all the woof/dog/puppy things that was going on with Fort's character but now that I've got a week of iQiyi VIP, why not.

Overall: A fine enough show, I think the dynamic and characters were interesting and the show/relationships threads were good for the main couple, especially the class difference rich/poor conversations and how their dynamic evolved. Thank you forever for all the puppy/dog Mut. Unlike most people who were so over the side-GL, I was actually quite into Vie/Mook (esp because they have some tropes I enjoy, such as celeb/non-celeb and one person makes their crush do chores/errands) and kept hoping for... something to happen, for their dynamic to progress. They didn't get a proper ending, which is sad. Vie was also such a good friend to Rak, I don't know why she was such a terror with Mook and then never progressed past it. Loved Meena, what a cutie. I do agree with the general consensus that the island episodes were better.

tags: love sea

Also Appears In: Love Sea + Special Live Blogging, August 2024 Wrap-Up

Love Sea Special Episode

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Aug 25, 2024

Watch Via: ;>

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Aug 29, 2024 (#21)

Rating: 6/10

Overall: A cute special overall. It's about Rak and Mut's progress and lives together in the future and how they've met each other in the middle rather than random drama. Vie and Mook are cute too, it makes me sad that their story wasn't given a proper conclusion in the original series. Also, I wanna go on vacation so bad.

tags: love sea

Also Appears In: Love Sea + Special Live Blogging, August 2024 Wrap-Up

4Minutes

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Jul 26, 2024 - Sep 13, 2024

Watch Via: iQiyi

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Aug 11 - Sep 13, 2024 (#19)

Rating: 6.5/10

Initial Impression: one of my most highly anticipated. i'd kept an eye on it since it was announced but kinda lost interest after all the controversy surrounding Build. but now that there's a new actor + I've liked Sammon's work in Triage and Dead Friend Forever - DFF + excited to see how Bible does in a new role, I'm highly anticipating it again.

Overall: It's a shame that the last episode was not very good and it didn't tie up things well or do anything meaningful with the 7 episodes that came before it because I quite enjoyed 7/8 eps of the show and enjoyed both the Great nad the Tonkla portions of the story. I enjoyed the characters (and how terrible they were) and what I thought was going on. It was a good Friday watch + I liked it even more when I binge rewatched eps 1 - 6 and was anticipating the show more. And yet, it feels like they didn't explore the themes and potential of the storylines enough, especially the whole 4 minutes thing. It's fine, I don't hate the show and really liked most of the show but it feels like the last ep took the wind out of it.

tags: 4 minutes

Also Appears In: 4 Minutes Ep 1 - 4, Ep 5 - Ep 6, (Ep 1 - 6 rewatch) + Ep 7, Ep 8 Live Blogging, September 2024 Live Blogging TODO

Watched: 16

Ranking of Watched:

7.5:

7: Dead Friend Forever - DFF = My Stand-In

6.5: Unknown = Blank Season 1 = Cherry Magic TH = Century of Love = 4 Minutes

6: Love For Love's Sake = Jazz For Two = Pit Babe = The Sign = 23.5 = Love Sea = Love Sea: Special

5.5: Spaceless

Dropped: Wandee Goodday

To Watch:

I Became the Main Role of a BL Drama (Jpn - Jan 1) : The Conversation podcast mentioned in their 2024 Winter Lagniappe and seems like it's a celeb-related show? they’re actors?

Last Twilight (Thai - Jan 26): Everybody's loving it so far, I'm curious || hmmm people have very polarizing opinions on the last ep (both the disability aspect but also the general storytelling aspect), so I'm cautious but people reallllly love the first 9 episodes. Just adding it here in case I wanna see what the hype was about

Chaser Game W (Jpn - Feb 27): Another Japanese GL and apparently it has toxic-ish workplace romance + post-breakup second chance romance yay. Also, the tweet where one of the characters is like “I’m a lesbian” *thunder* is hilarious

Perfect Propose (Jpn - Mar 1): Originally was curious about it because of the casual (?) hand job gifs from 1st ep and because while I’m not really into the sweet stuff from Japan, something like the tone of this might be appealing. Also, this Tiktok of “We’re engaged” “[...] and we’re both guys” “I’m gay” was pretty funny

Love is Better the Second Time Around (Jpn - Apr 10): I'm fond of the second chance/post-breakup romance trope, hopefully I’ll like this one

Deep Night (Thai - Apr 25): I’ve enjoyed First Piyangkul in shows before and am curious about the host club setting in this. This show is such an interesting case because on Reddit and on Tumblr, everybody seems to love it and MDL has some mixed comments but mostly positive there too, and yet the MDL rating is 7.5, I wonder why the discrepancy.

To the X Who Hated Me (Kor - May 8) - 240520: another Youtube kGL short, from the same people as Girlfriend Project Day 1, I think. It has 2 seasons (unrelated couples?)

Lonely Girls (Kor - May 13): finally another Youtube kGL, been a while since a new one. released alongside Blue Boys.

Boys Be Brave! (Kor - May 16): Feels like I didn't hear much about this as it was airing but has a p good MDL rating for now, maybe I'll give it a try.

25 Ji, Akasaka de (Jpn - June 20): Celeb romance? I'll check it out || People seemed to like it and how it ended

Knock Knock, Boys! (Thai - Aug 1): Wasn't on my radar but as it was airing, I've heard only good things and people seem satisfied with the ending. It seems sex-positive? Which I could really use from BLs. Also curious to see Seng.

The Secret of Us (Thai - Aug 12): Got a lot of praise, though it seems like it had a rocky ending. Gorgeous, gorgeous Orm. Need to watch this to just watch her face.

Takara no Vidro (Jpn - Sep 2): I'm a bit cautious to add a jBL series but people seemed to quite enjoy this one. Also, one of the guys (Takara?) is so, so gorgeous omg.

The Time of Fever (Kor - Sep 12/May 15 in korea): The ULS spin-off that people had been anticipating for so long. I didn't watch ULS but the clips I've seen of this on Twitter make me wanna watch. Seems so full of tension.

Releasing

These are shows that are currently releasing in 2024 that I’m interested in - ordered by their end date. Tracking both currently watching and to be watched

Currently Watching

To Watch

The Trainee

To Be Released

These are shows that have are planned for a 2023 release, may or may not have release dates (and some might get moved to 2024 lol)

From 2023 - these are rolled over from plans of being released in 2023

Domundi: The Next Prince and maybe the other ones if people say they're good

GLs!

Wish You Luck: Sci-fi, post-apocalyptic show :00 seems cool, also has Tonnam who I’ve only seen in comedic roles so far

Flirt Milk the series: I don’t have much faith or curiosity about Starhunter shows but I watched the mock trailer and think the “we both change ourselves to fit the other” thing is funny

Planned for 2024 - these were announced with the plans for 2024 release

GMMTV 2024 Pt 1: My Love Mix-Up! and Pluto are my priorities. The Trainee, My Golden Blood, and Wandee Goodday if they turn out to be good. Keeping my ears open to hear if any of the others are good.

GMMTV 2024 Part 2 Showcase: especially Heart Breakers, The Ex-Morning, Us, and Thame-Po

TODO: update the #gmmtv 2023 and #gmmtv 2024 tags for gifsets when I watch the show

Jack and Joker: Yinwar new show ahhhh!!!!! and seems like a kinda plotty one as well. Need to watch the 12 minute trailer though lol || So fun!!!!! I like that it's 11 minutes of establishing characters and rising action (+ some history) but it doesn't show the resolution and conclusion the way pilot trailers tend to do, the mystery builds up the anticipation. The fight choreo looked good maybe? I'm not an expert in that at all but it seemed better than most of the other Thai BLs. I really hope the screenwriting makes sense and is logical and not non-sensical because pretty much all the plotty/crime BLs require a lot of suspension of belief. I've been looking forward to this since the initial liveshow trailer and now am anticipating this even more, on the edge of my seat!

Change2561 2024 Showcase: Goddess Bless You From Death !!, Affair GL, possibly I’m The Most Beautiful Count and Pit Babe S2

some other high profile ones: Spare Me Your Mercy, 4 Minutes

Hwang Daseul directed kBL, yay! Blueming my absolutely beloved while TMS and WYEL are also good.

kBL: In general, keep an eye on the kBLs and try to watch w/o subs or with Korean subs (or french subs to lessen the reliance on English subs and increase trying to understand by listening)

GLs: The Last Case (mystery?)

Het/non-QL shows

There aren’t as many of these I’m interested in, comparatively, but thought I'd still track them.

Released

Death's Game Part 2 (2024)

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Jan 5, 2024

Watch Via: paid, so :>

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Jan 30, 2024 (#1)

Rating: 6/10

Overall Impression: Firstly, fuck the message of the show. In shows like this, where they treat suicide as a personal, moral failure of selfishness and weakness rather than due to systematic issues in society, mental health struggles, or treating the characters with kindness, it's of utmost importance to just roll your eyes and see the story/acting/etc. Eps 1 to half of 3 were interesting and exciting but in the way of "I'm watching a show with murder and gore and people trying to outsmart each other" rather than about this specific show. The ending is... okay, I guess, expected it. In Part 1, Death just left something to be desired for me and this kinda continued here. Don't think I'll think of this show much (except maybe Lee Dohyun?) and the 2nd part didn't have the excellent pacing of the first one. Not as good as part 1.

tags: death's game

Also Appears In: Death's Game Live Blogging, January 2024 Movies/Shows Wrap-Up

A Shop for Killers

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Jan 17, 2024 - Feb 7, 2024

Watch Via: ;>

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: June 18 - 20, 2024 (#12)

Rating: 6.5/10

Initial Impression: I saw it on the Certified Noonas coming up in January I think? But I also saw it getting good impressions on the r/kdrama on-air threads + pocha playlist's initial impression + it has Lee Dong Wook, even though it's not like I watch all his shows or anything

Overall: Interesting premise + interesting execution with all the flashbacks, they way the flashbacks were in Jian's POV, then Jeongmin for 1 ep, then Jinman (we did have some repetition during Jinman's that we already saw through Jian's). The flashbacks cutting through the current action were sometimes bothersome, especially after we'd already established important stuff and then the flashback stuff didn't feel as important as the current. I found Jinman intriguing and mysterious and understood him despite being frustrated with how he treated Jian at times. Jian, I liked way more at the beginning but then started being annoyed toward the end at times. Mihye was soooo cool. It was a surprisingly funny show, especially in regard to how this is just a job for these mercenaries and killers lol The ending was a bit anticlimactic in terms of how things were resolved + there was a bunch of important threads that were unfinished (aiming for a season 2?). I wasn't surprised by the ending but I don't know if they were aiming for that anyway, I think they knew the audience to predict it and were okay with it.

tags: a shop for killers

Also Appears In: A Shop for Killers Live Blogging, June 2024 Wrap-Up

A Killer Paradox (2024)

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Feb 9, 2024

Watch Via: Netflix (so, ;>)

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Mar 29 - 31, 2024 (#6)

Rating: 6/10

Initial Impression: Been waiting for this since literally 2023 after I watched Strangers From Hell and saw in Certified Noonas' 2023 releases that it was from the same director + is an interesting concept [Kdramas mentioned in Certified Noonas 2023 Releases: Murder DIEary (the synopsis is cool and the director is the same as Strangers From Hell but I’m looking at the MDL again and 2024? D: why so far but someone on comments has also been saying that the filming ended recently - Mar 25, 2023 - and it can still come out this year). 2024: Rolled over from 2023 and now it's called A Killer Paradox]

Overall Impression: Really enjoyed the first few episodes (up to ep 4), then eps 5 - 7 were kinda meandering and it felt like not much was happening (that I cared about anyway), then ep 8 was engaging again. In the second half, we focused a lot on Song Chon and his story to me wasn't as engaging as Lee Tang's and we also strayed away from Lee Tang and his thoughts. I liked the fun shots and the imagination scenes, it was interesting. I feel like the show didn't have many twists and turns, like it was all a bit anti-climactic, which dampened it. Had high hopes because of the concept + Strangers From Hell director but that show was a lot more atmospheric and insular and the character focuses were more engaging. Don’t think I’ll ever think about it.

Also Appears In: A Killer Paradox Live Blogging, March 2024 Movies/Shows Wrap-Up

How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Apr 4, 2024 (but September in theatres around me)

Watch Via: in real-life theatre, woah

Watch Dates: Sep 21, 2024 (#22)

Rating: 7/10

Initial: I want to watch this in the theatres since it's showing around me! I hope it runs longer than just this week though hmm. It'd sure be something if I ended up watching this before ITSAY lol I can't believe I'd had that on my to-watch/curious list since like 2019 or whenever it came out and I heard some small buzz about it even though I wasn't in the show/movie sphere at all. The trailer was on my to-watch along with 3 Will Be Free lol.

Overall: A Thai movie in theatres near me + includes Billikin & Tu who I know despite not having watched either of their shows + heart-wrenching family stuff, of course I was into watching it. It was great, the quality is incredible compared to most of the Thai shows I watch. The characters felt so real, the acting was great, even the set design was incredible like the houses and everything felt so lived in - I noticed dust on the sill of the cupboard and stuff, it was crafted so well. I shed a tear as it was nearing the end and I thought that would be it but for the last 10 minutes of so, tears just kept falling. Very good.

tag: how to make millions before grandma dies

Lovely Runner

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Apr 8, 2024 - May 28, 2024

Watch Via: Viki (paid)

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: June 25 (Ep 1 only), July 6 - 11 (#15)

Rating: 7/10

Initial: Got curious on 240409, I saw this edit and initial good reaction to Eps 1-2. Heard good things all throughout the run of the show and good reception to the ending as well, so I'm excited.

Overall: A fun show with a fun concept and great acting + romance. It was funny and delightful most of the time, there was a kind of killer/suspense aspect but that wasn't really ever the Focus, Sunjae being killed was the focus; similarly, they didn't thoroughly explain the time travel because the mechanics wasn't the focus, Sol going back was the focus. I liked Sunjae and Sol together and it was fun seeing how Sunjae was slightly different in the different timelines lol I liked seeing the couple on high school, college, as idol!Sunjae and actor!Sunjae. It did feel a bit like consistency was lost in their relationship but that was the point i guess. It was a very romantic concept, the way they were falling in love in every timeline. Everything about it was good and I was engaged, I just don’t think I’d think about it much though.

tags: lovely runner

Also Appears In: Lovely Runner Live Blogging, July 2024 Wrap-Up

Longlegs (2024)

Country: USA

Release Dates: May 19, 2024 - Jun 21, 2024

Watch Via: at the theatres

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: July 12, 2024 (#16)

Rating: 5/10

Overall: Was hoping for more since it's so hyped. Didn't find it to be scary nor haunting, and the mystery aspect/the reveals felt anti-climactic. We did miss the first few minutes of the movie though and I wanna watch it, so that's on my list.

Also Appears In: July 2024 Wrap-Up TODO

Ranking of Watched: 6

7: Lovely Runner = How To Make Millions Before Grandma Dies

6.5: A Shop for Killers

6: Death's Game Part 2 = A Killer Paradox

5.5:

5: Longlegs

To Watch:

The Midnight Romance in Hagwon (Krn - June 30): Wi Hajoon lead + noona romance + she was his past teacher/tutor. General good reviews, though maybe slow?

Releasing

TODO

To Be Released

From 2023 - these are rolled over from plans of being released in 2023

TODO

Planned for 2024 - these were announced with the plans for 2024 release

GMMTV 2024 Part 1: Enigma 2

GMMTV 2024 Part 2 Showcase: Hide & Sis, possibly The Dark Dice

Lost Interest

Title (country - release date)

Initial Impression:

Removal Date:

Lost Interest:

Cooking Crush (Thai - 240218)

Initial Impression: OffGun was a surprise but a welcome one during GMMTV 2023. As it's airing, heard kinda conflicting thoughts from people but it seems generally positive, so I'll give it a watch maybe

Removal Date: 240218

Lost Interest: I never actually added it to my To Watch list because the reception was iffy the whole way through but kept my eyes on it because of Off/Gun in case if got better. Seems like it didn't... oh well, hopefully The Trainee will be more liked because I enjoy OffGun.

#tracking #general bl #to watch

4 notes · View notes

ydlmaiki · 1 year ago

Text

⚠️This Short Writing Scenario is an AU of Good Omens but with my OCs, So it has minor spoilers to Good Omens s02 e06 last 10 min. or so

If you haven't seen Good omes and is planning to watch it, I dont recommended reading it, but if you dont care, then go for it I guees, you are your own Lord, no one can tell you what to do⚠️

🔴⚠️ Mention of slight Abuse⚠️🔴

🔴⚠️Slight Homophobia ⚠️🔴

🔴⚠️ People Kissing⚠️🔴

Norman's Point of View

as I was waiting for my friend to return from chit-chat with Lord Mauri outside, a Lady & Man that We tried to hook up entered the bookshop, it was my friend Hanah and her "friend" Tom

Hanah: Hello Norman

Norman: Hana and Tom! what an pleasure to see you both, would you like a cup of tea, or perhaps, coffee?

I asked as I started walking upstair to the kitchen+livingroom (both of them were following him)

Hanah: Not really for me, what about you Tom?

Tom: Hm, Can I get water please?

Norman: of course

I said as both of them sat on the couch, I gave the water to tom and he thanked me, I took a chair from the kitchen part and put it in front of them and sat

Norman: Soo, what brings you here? I guess it isn't some books right?

Hanah: Isn't it obvious Norman? you and your boyfriend have been trying to hook up us, even tho, I already have partner

I was suprised by her "boyfriend" I mean, he isnt my "boyfriend" he is my Best friend, even tho he is supposed to be my enemy

Norman: We aren't a pair, We are just buddies, ya know? what is the term that you use here, Homies? I think it was like that

Hanah: Yea sure then, Anyway, why were you trying to hook us up? like, he isn't even my type

Tom looked kinda sad and disappointed

Tom: I mean, she got a point, We both wants to be left alone in peace, and not some two gays trying to hook us up

Gays?! I am sorry, But I am not in LOVE with him, I guess sure he looks pretty, with his Raven black hair that just waves in the wind, or his whiskey/Hazelnut eyes that just shine against the moonlight, but thats like all

Hanah: Look, I am just kinda worried about you, you should talk about how you feel about him, its not healthy to try hook up other people instead of hooking up with each other

Tom: thats true

Normam: Uhh, so, what do YOU want ME to do?

Hanah: just tell Mr. Gersch how you feel and talk stuff out

Norman: hahaha, thats hilarious, we have knew eachother for many years, we dont have anything to talk about, we know eachother, we are like family

Hanah: Norman, there is something in you isnt it? I have noticed how you were sometimes staring at him in lovey dovey way

as she finished the sentence, I kinda was lost in thought, I mean, He is indeed a beautiful Angel, one of the most Kindest and yet Overprotective Angel I have seen.The different popular fashion styles that he wears everyday and always say "whaaaat? black is an popular colour, and if we are supposed to blend in, then it works perfectly" somewhat maded me Chuckle and blush always. He even once wore an crop top and hoodie over it, I almost faint on how se-

Norman: Ou

Tom: what is it?

Norman: emm nothing, but yea, I will try to talk to him okay?

I stand up and walked them out of the store and then waved at them

I closed the doors, and decided to look through some Books that I have, I got stuck in the young adult/romance section.I then started looking through the books and was repeating the same line over and over again "Do I love Aaran? Do I really love him? Do I-" I heard an Bell ring when Someone enters the shop, I turned around and noticed it was Aaran and he had happy face and was moving happily, you could say it like that

Norman: by the face you have and the way you move, I guess we aren't in that big problem?

Aaran: surprisingly, no, Even tho, it was quiet chaotic what happened, Anyway! I have some very great news for you my dear

I looked confused, what great news could Lord Mauri gave him? he isn't the nicest guy, so I am not sure

Norman: What is it? also, I would like to talk about something later

Aaran: ou, okay? so em, Me and Lord, we were like talking outside at the cafeteria about what will we do with the free space of Supreme Archangel since traitor Rozzie and Enemy Janne left

he started walking closer to me

Aaran: sooo he gave me the idea to become the Supreme Archangel, but thats not all my dear

he was standing right in front of me with an big smile and happy eyes

Aaran: he aslo promised that he would bring you back as Angel! isnt that just great?

I was shocked and left speechless

Aaran: We can be together in heaven, and make it a better place

Together? in heaven?

Norman: What? please tell me you said no to that

he looked at me suprised and sad

Norman: tell me, you said no, please

Aaran: I mean, I said that I need time to think about it, but he said "what there to think about? its an amazing choice dude" sooo I then emm

I looked devastated and disappointed on him, Why he would agree to be The Ruler Archangel or how is it called

Norman: Angel, did you forget what they do? they are heaven, they don't care about anyone, all they care is power, and I dont want the same happen to you, okay?

I said as I touched both of his arms

Norman: Please, I want you to stay with me okay?

Aaran: but we can be together in heaven

Norman: no, its definitely some trap, If I would go back there ,I would get killed for who I am

Aaran: why would they kill you? is it because of the Armageddon?

at that moment I realised that I never told him about my gender preference, its true we knew each other over 6000 years, but we never talked about our secrets

I then Decided to stop holding him

Aaran: I am sorry Norman, but I have to do it

Norman: do what?

Aaran: Be the Supreme Archangel, I can change the heaven to Better place

Norman: so you would rather choose heaven over me?

when I finished the sentence, it seems like the wind here got thicker. Aaran looked at me suprised

Aaran: wha- of course not, I wouldn't leave you

Norman: then dont go, stay with me, on OUR side, we don't need them they are toxic

Aaran: but my dear, you can go back being angel, being the Almighty Zalkien, the one who is capable of magic and healing

I felt sad when he said it, to be honest I am happy that I have fallen, that place is horrible than the hell.I wanted to cry, so I decided to walk up the stairs to my room

Aaran: where are you going?

Norman: I am leaving, so you can go being the Supreme Archangel without me

Aaran: but I care about you

Norman: Can you just fu**ing leave me alone, like everyone else did?!!

I looked at him from the stairs as I shouted those words

He looked at me with an fear in his face, but he also seemed worried

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__________Aaran's Point of View____________

I was shocked that he drove at me like that, his face had small tears on his eyes, Oh Amolos, what have I done? He then ran up the stairs, before I could even catch

Aaran: WAIT PlEA-

I couldn't even finish and he already slammed his door wich maded loud noise

I looked at my hands and everywhere in the room, it was my fault, what I was even thinking? of course he won't like to go back because he is demon. No, he doesn't wanna because he wants to be with me here, I felt Horrendous, I felt like I should go upstairs and calm him down, I heard someone open the door wich maded the bell rink, but I didn't turn around to look who it was, I was staring at those stairs and thinking what I have said

Mauri: Soooo Is he going with us ooorr?

After of thinking and regretting my choices, I decided to stay, its the best option for both of us, because even if being supreme Archangel where you have almost all power to do whatever you want, it won't be good without him there, there is no point in doing it without him, so I turned around and looked at him

Aaran: I think I will rather decline your offer

Mauri: what are you talking about? is this some joke?

Aaran: I am saying, that I don't wanna be the Supreme Archangel

he looked at me shocked and waved his arms in the air

and laughed of bit

Mauri: You are joking right? because normally, an Angel would kill someone to be an Supreme Archangel

Aaran: Well, I guess I am different then. The offer does sound nice, but I em, prefer being the emotional support side-kick then being a leader

he looked at me pissed and then looked at the stairs and back at me with some disgusted smirk

Mauri: did HE told you something? because I bet my ass that, that the fucking homosexual demon did some of his miracle to change your mind

I was suprised, Homosexual? its kinda weird, because Demons and Angels dont have like gender. I get that he wouldn't date Someone who looks like a woman, but why he never told me that?

Aaran: what are you talking about?

Mauri: ouuuu, he never told you, did he? why do you think he fell, huh?

Aaran: I dont know, he never talked about him falling

Mauri: Yea makes sense, He was Gods favourite Angel you know? but he just one day, told me that he wouldn't date someone who looks like woman and also kissed one of his "boyfriend" so thats why he fell, well, main reason

I felt sad for him, it makes sense he wouldn't like to comeback because of that, but then they said something that maded my blood boil

Mauri: He is an A***ole, they should have killed him there, we had to torture him before he fell

Aaran: you what?!

I said with suprised voice and kinda pissed

Mauri: what? oh c'moon, it was joke Xavier, and also it was funny how he used to cr-

I got closer to him wich maded him stop talking. I was soooooo close to just kill him, I dont like when someone is talking bad stuff about him behind his back and how could a person do those horrendous stuff, especially an Angel for hergot sake

Mauri: Whoa Whoa man, No need to be so offensive, he is Demon in the final, so it doesn't matter you know?

Aaran: but he still have feelings, you guys hurted him

Mauri: why do you care about him? he is just a fagg-

I slapped his face, I will not let him use slur against him, no one should be mean towards people who loves the same gender as them

Mauri: Ou, that hurted you know?

Aaran: leave, NOW!

I shouted and pointed at the door

He looked at me very pissed and still holding his cheek

Mauri: Fine, but dont expect you will return back like nothing happened

he turned and stomped his way out of the shop

I went up the stairs, there was small hall with three doors, First on the right was his room, second one on the left that was in the middle was kitchen and living room, and the last door that was completely back on right was bathroom and there is window on the end of hall

I stand in front of his door and knocked twice

Aaran: Dear? are you okay there?

I asked but heard nothing

so I knocked again but louder

Aaran: May I enter?

I heard like someone waking up and walking to the door

Norman: What do you want?

he said behind the door

Aaran: Hello dear, may I enter?

Norman: why? you hurted me enough

Aaran: what? no! I would never ever hurt you on purpose

Norman: well, good job, because you just did

I let out small disappointment sigh

Aaran: Norman, I am so sorry, it was my fault for acting stupid and trying to force you to do something you dont wanna, i am really sorry

then there was silence

I heard unlocking door, he opened the door a bit and had his fingers on the edge of the door

Norman: Do you truly feel sorry?

Aaran: of course I do

he then opened the door fully and stand in the door. His beautiful ginger curly hair was more messy then before and the hair hided his eyes, but his eyes were stll visible and also bit tired.He also have dried tears on his cheek and is wearing black long sleeve shirt and grey sweatpants

Aaran: Oh my Amolos, I am so sorry

I said as I got closer to him and wanted to touch his face ,but he catched my hand and looked into my eyes. He then let go of my arm

Norman: I- I am sorry, I wasn't supposed to get too emotional over that, it was stupid from me to drove out like that

Aaran: no no, its okay, I get it, you just had rough life up there

Norman: did Mauri told you something?

Aaran: nothing much, he just told me that when I would return to heaven, that they won't be so nice

Norman: Makes sense, anyway, could you please help close the shop? its already pass the time

Aaran: of course my dear

We went down the stairs and checked if everything is on the place, I picked up my plants and some other stuff that I had in the bookshop for while, bcs Heaven got my place moved out after the Armageddon, so I had to stay for while in the bookshop until I found new one.

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__________Norman's Point of View____________

As I helped him getting his stuff into his MPV car I decided to ask him if he would like some drink before going

[CB] Aaran: No thank you, I need to drive home sober

[CB] Norman: I didnt ment wine, we could just, drink tea or cup of coffee

[CB] Aaran: Well, if you insist, I guess good cup of coffee would be good

so we both went back into my book shop and he sat on the couch while I maded the coffee

Norman: here you go

I said as I bring him the cup of coffee and sat next to him

Aaran: thank you my dear, its really kind of you

Norman: oh c'mon Angel, you are my friend after all

Aaran: yea "friend", hehehe

he said and drank the cup of coffee and had suprised face

Aaran: how come it is not hot and just warm?

Norman: I dont boil the water until the kettle scream, I let it boil for few second and them turn of

Aaran: interesting

he said and drank from the coffee again, Then I remembered what Hanah told me today, to talk to him about how I feel, but I didn't knew how to start, so I decided to start like this

Norman: Do you remember back in like 17th where we were on the first showcase of guillotine?

Aaran: you mean how some man got his head cut of by huge blade?

Norman: Yes, what was his name? Nick I believe?

Aaran: yea something like that, why are you asking?

Norman: Well, remember how I invited you to my house and drank some wine?

His face went suprised and started chuckling

Aaran: Oh my amolooos! You mean how we got sooo drunk that we couldn't remember much what happened?

Norman: Yeaa! I mean, it was such an fun back then

we then both were laughing and talking about humans and french renaissance. After a whille of talking, we were touching our thigh's and I was staring at his pretty face while he was laughing, he then looked at me smiling wich turned into suprised

I turned my face blushing

Aaran: Aww Norman, you are still the same guy, you didn't even changed a bit after those 6000 years

he laughed and pat my back

Norman: Yea, I em, I wanna tell you something about how we got drunk in the france

Aaran: yea what is it?

Norman: you see, when we em were sitting next to eachother, Talking and laughing while you were em kinda laying on my chest

it was hard for me to talk about it, without putting my head in my hands and blushing

Norman: and then after while our heads were soo close that we could em almost k-kiss?

I swallowed after that sentence

Norman: I mean, I did em pushed you after emmm that, hehe

I let out a small laugh and looked at him smiling in nervous way, he had his mouth open slightly, gosh

Aaran: Oh My-, I- I dont remember that happening, I was definitely totally drunk at that time, I am so sorry

Norman: nono its okay, I just em, woaw! look at that time! it will be almost 10 PM

I said as I pointed on my clock on the wall. We both stand up and walked down the stair

As I was standing between the ile of books and he was in front of the door about to leave, he turned around and ask

Aaran: why did you mentioned the drunk accident? I thought we agreed to never talk about it again, if I remember correctly

I had an big surprised face, I couldn't say to him that it was, because I wanted that to happen again, right?

No, I shouldn't wanted it, so I decided to say a lie

Norman: Well em you see, I thought that em it would be cool to talk about the em guillotine history

I said and smiled at him

he crossed his arms and looked at me with smirk,

Aaran: Norman, we both know you cant lie, especially your feelings towards me

Norman: what? I wasnt lying angel, I was speaking the complete truth

as I was about to leave to my door, something that I thought would only happen in dreams happened

he come up to me, grabbed my face and kissed ME, not some girl,no, it was ME who HE KISSED! A GUY! I had my eye open fully and arms opened, I thought he would stop, but he was continuing to nimb on MY LIPS! so I closed my eyes and hugged him,gosh, why I am doing it? I shouldn't like it, but it feelt so good.He then put his hands around my torso and went with his tongue wich maded me pull out from that

he looked suprised and had red cheeks

Aaran: why did you pull out now?

Norman: I- I was just suprised you did THAT!

he then chuckled a bit and smiled at me

Aaran: You seem to quite enjoy "that"

he said and kissed my cheek and lips

Norman: I- f**k, I em

he put a finger on my lips

Aaran: no need to use words Dear, or should I say

he went closer to my ear

Aaran: Love?

that sentence maded my brain explode, gave my heart 10 heart attacks and maded my stomach turn 180° both ways

Aaran: use affection my Love, if you wanna say something

he looked at me with his adorable puppy eyes and his mouth slightly open, Oh my Megeran, I cant believe this is real, Angel Aaran Gerch just kissed a Demon Norman Fell, and to be honest, I LOVED it, every second of it, his soft lips on my cold one, I- I wanted to do it again, but I wasn't sure he wanted to

Norman: could you em, do "that" again? please?

Aaran: you mean me kissing you?

Norman: Y-yea, please

he chuckled kinda and kissed me shortly, wich kinda maded me angry, so I kept repeating again and he repeatedly kept kissing me shortly, until we both started to chuckle from that and let out tired sigh. We were staring at each other eyes, holding each other and just smiling and blushing, wich maded me realise one thing that I didn't know until now

Norman: I loved you since the first day on the garden, Love

Aaran: I know my Dear, I know

he said and kissed my lips

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______________✨THE END✨_______________

Author Notes

__________

Oh Lord, To be honest, it is longer then I expect it, soooo yea I hope you liked it, I just wanted to write the last 10/20 min. of Good omens ep6 in my style with my OC's, which is a LOT different (Good Omens was more tragic but mine was supposed to be more lovely-Dovey)

anyway have a nice day and yea

(left one is season 1 and the right one is season 2)

Norman = Ginger

Aaran = Black Hair

#good omens #au #oc #writing #good omens au

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yosttravis · 2 years ago

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163 Minutes in Boston

Follow on Strava

So about fifteen months ago, I signed up for my first 140mi Ironman. And then I trained a ton for it, and wrote about it. All-time experience.

But I got hurt during the early parts of the run and sort of slogged through it. And that just ate me alive, especially since (a) it was my first true marathon; and (b) I'm a much better runner than swimmer or cycler by nature.

That week I set a goal to qualify for Boston, and ran my second marathon in Utah, and qualified at 2:57, and wrote about what I did to run a sub-three. And you guys really liked that.

So let's talk about the Boston Marathon, which I ran over the weekend! I'll cut to the chase first -- the title was the giveaway, finishing 2:43 and 870th in my third (second?) full distance marathon.

For a fake runner, I was [mostly] happy. More on that later. Notes, race day details, and stats/splits to follow.

Training and Random Notes

On the plus-side of things, my training has been limit up over the last 12-months. Fitness levels, not a problem. Not at all. I do a lot more cross-training than most pure runners, which has it's benefits and drawbacks. But using Garmin's Intensity Minutes as a proxy, you can see how much we moved this needle up in recent months:

(That VO2 MAX is ripping ....)

On the minus-side of things, mostly everything else, at least for this race.

The worst winter (ever, and I mean EVER) in the Western United States. Running volume down as a result. Endless snow, frigid temperatures, and it's still going on.

An injury, which I've been lucky to avoid for a long while now. Twitter (TWITTER!) diagnosed the injury accurately -- popliteus tendinopathy, rare for most people, more common in runners and triathletes. Physical therapy affirmed. Lot of strength and mobility work, and we eventually went from 'sharpshooting pain' and 'aborted runs' in February to 'manageable'. It hasn't improved much beyond manageable. This also took running down some bit further on top of just horrific weather.

Generally speaking, I ran only about 30-40 miles a week during this 'down period', and in some weeks fewer than that. You can see how much I took it down (measured in mins)"

But I was religious about time on feet and cross-training. And those stairs. We kept on those stairs. More on that in a minute.

Race Morning Thoughts

Initially, I set a goal for 2:50:00. I knew that was a sandbagged number relative to my fitness, but I had concerns that my leg would hold up at the tail end of the race (especially in the infamous hills of Boston). Moreover, the weather was horrific. Just comical. The northeast has had the most pleasant winter in the history of mankind, and in typical April-in-New-England fashion, the marathon turned into intermittent monsoons and a sustained headwind. This was in the forecast in advance, and so I figured considering the factors at play.

I said I was bullish on fitness, but I was also bullish on nutrition. There are a lot of people I've learned who struggle (and struggle immensely with this) -- finnicky stomachs, indecisiveness, whatever. I train very early in the mornings and as soon as I'm done, it's one of my two jobs on deck, so breakfast is usually just a shake. That said: I tail-end eat a lot. I cannot remember the last day (in months) that I have not had at least two dinners. Eating so much late at night has it's drawbacks, but my body has grown well accustomed to storing and using for tomorrow morning's abuse. If you follow on Strava, you know there are a lot of hours in those early morning banks, and usually at harder intensities.

On that nutrition point: I really didn't have to overthink it much, because my caloric burn (~ 2.6k, let's call it) was only about 36 pct more burn than the average training day. Which isn't insignificant! But I imagine people who do not have heavy and sustained volumes have to get much more careful with loading 48-hours out from race, 24-hours out from race, etc.

With a relatively full stomach from the night prior, morning was easy: bagel and cream cheese, granola, honey stinger waffles (the GOAT of pre-workout food), and fluids.

Changed up the shoes this time around. I'm a firm believer in Nike for speed and HOKA for training/comfort. I usually race in Vapors, PR'd a 1/2 back on 9/11 in D.C (1:16). But it was in a monsoon, logged out the shoes something bad. So I went for the Alphas this time around. If you don't have a pair of Alphas, go get one. Worth it.

The Race

For anyone who is ever interested in running Boston, let me tell you a few quick things. One, it's a lifetime experience, full stop, it's not marketing and it's very real. Two, it's extremely secure, owing to previous events. Three, because it's extremely secure, it can feel cumbersome at times. Waiting around in Athletes Village for hours in cold weather and rain, with little to no cover -- not ideal. But everyone was in good spirits and by and large just trying to stay warm.

My qual time was good enough for wave one, but the congestion for the first five miles was insane. You really were running elbow-to-elbow for some bit of time. I stuck to the sides to try and at least hold a respectable pace (6:30 range) until it could thin out some.

The weather was a challenge the entire race. The cool temperatures kept the heart rate down (I only averaged 165 for the race, despite pushing some), but the sustained 20-25 mph headwind and intermittent heavy rain was a problem, and slowed the race considerably.

At the halfway mark, I was 1:19 range (tracker had 1:20 -- I of course ran more distance than needed, weaving in/out of crowds a few times). Still had full energy at this point, though my right knee was starting to bother a bit. At any rate, I knew I could carry this pace through the rest of the race, more or less.

The areas where the crowds are in Boston? Second to none. The energy is real. Really real. If you have music on, you won't hear it. And you don't want to hear it. Just a truly amazing experience and so laudable for the city -- these people want to motivate every runner, and man you get juiced up from it.

Take your pick: I either thought the hills around miles 16-20 were a bit overrated, certainly more of a mental challenge than anything. I don't say this as a running snob (I'm a fake runner, remember), I do say this as someone who swears by stairs and incline work. In every one of these races I seem to make up considerable time on comparable runners when going uphill. And though my pace grinded down expectedly climbing the hills, it was very comfortable and I didn't want to push my knee (now starting to bother a fair bit) to the point of no return. I trimmed my pace by about 20-25s in the last few miles for this reason. Pure fitness wise, I do think I could've held up the ~ 6:10 pace for about 33 to 35-miles or so, give or take. I do think I missed a couple of opportunities around miles 7-11 to gap down more aggressively, lesson learned there.

I ended 2:43. A bit disappointed to be blunt. I think with a healthy right leg, or better wx conditions, I could've given 2:39:59 a real run.

Most importantly: critical advertising for the worldwide leader. Go Bills.

Time for the next test. I left a lot on the table, and it's already bothering me!

Splits and Stats

#boston marathon #triathlon

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joyfulhopelox · 3 years ago

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The Weasel and The Serpent

Summary: When Yoongi, a halfblood, enters Hogwarts he lies about being a pureblood and is welcomed into the elite of the Slytherin House. Yoongi spends the whole of his school life upholding this lie, terrified of being exposed. Until one day, Jimin's cousin, the loud and rambunctious Y/N enters his life and gradually breaks down the walls that he had tried so hard to build. Can the weasel and the serpent learn to co-exist?

Pairing: Slytherin!Yoongi x reader (Hogwarts!au)

Genre: fluff, angst

Warnings: light swearing

Word count: 13.2k

Rating: pg

A/N: Welcome to the first instalment of the Hogwarts for @homeofbangtan collab!

I want to thank everyone in the collab for being amazing and patient and incredibly lovely! @mochi-molala for being the catalyst of this fic, @min-yoon-kween for being an amazing support and beta reader and @ttaetae for this amazing banner. @delacyrose224 @alpacaparkaseok @joheunsaram @sunshinejunghoseokie @ggukcangetit for being an amazing squad!

Copyrights @joyfulhopelox

As always please leave feedback and/or talk to me as i love to hear from you! Enjoy <3

Who would have thought you would end up here? Knees bruised on the cold wet tiles, bent over, heartbroken and desperate. If at the beginning of the year someone would have said you’d be in this position, you would’ve laughed at them. But there you were, on your knees, watching helplessly, as the person that had become your everything suffering on the wet bathroom floor. The mournful sobs wrecking his body echoed through you, rendering you speechless. If it weren’t for the fact that it was Yoongi’s sobs you were witnessing, you would’ve thought it was Moaning Myrtle doing her usual rounds in the bathroom.

You willed yourself to move. The sound of your robes trailing through the murky water were muffled by the anguished cries and heart wrenching sobs. You felt powerless and it scared you. The feeling gripped at your heart tighter and tighter until you felt like you could not breathe.

How ironic is it, you thought, that when you first met him you were in the exact same position that he was in now. Yet, at the time, he knew exactly what to tell you, as if you’d been friends for a long time. This trait he possessed; the ability to read someone so well and yet be so detached from everyone, had made him popular in your year.

Everyone liked Yoongi, his aloof personality a complete contrast from his soft looks. With his coal black hair and pale white skin a contradiction to his soft lips and plump cheeks, it was hard to not be intrigued by him. Yet, for some reason you chose to keep him at an arm’s length. He became your cousin’s friend quite quickly. It was Park’s gift; having the ability to make friends and break hearts left and right. However, being the rising star of the Slytherin house, he made enemies just as quickly. But the relationship between him and Yoongi developed so quickly, you didn’t even see it coming. One day Jimin was loitering around the corridors being his dramatic self with only Taehyung to keep him in check. Next you run into him and Taehyung and Yoongi. They were whispering secretively to each other and you couldn’t pass up on the opportunity to intervene.

“Oi, Cocky Park, why are you acting like a bunch of gossip girls?” you shouted at him across the corridor. The three of them jumped apart in surprise and glanced at you, each face looking similar to a kid’s having been caught with his hands in the cookie jar. Satisfied at the reaction you got, you sauntered over to them.

“So, what’s the deal?” your grin intensified when Jimin’s flustered face morphed into an annoyed one. It meant you had done your job. You were cousins on your father’s side, but in reality you acted more like siblings. You grew up together, always around each other, your father and his attending meetings together. So of course in true sibling fashion, it was necessary to rile up the other.

Taehyung glanced at the both of you, knowing that if he did not intervene there would be bloodshed. “Hey, Y/N, uhhhh, we were just talking” he tried to distract you from the situation at hand. You tapped your foot impatiently, an eyebrow raised unimpressed and urged him to continue. “About what?”

Before Taehyung could say anything, Jimin stepped up, “Nothing that concerns you lesser Park, so run along to your clique” he smirks at you, his hand gesture dismissing you. You huff in annoyance.

“Cocky Park!” You warn glaring at him stepping closer to his frame. He was by no means tall, only a few inches taller than you, and you liked to remind him of that every single day knowing that it drove him up the wall. “I’ll tell mother about that one time you set the family portrait on fire just because-” Jimin instantly covered your mouth, not wanting to be exposed in front of his friends like that.

“Ok ok ok, enough,” He pleaded, your laugh muffled and your eyes displaying the satisfaction you felt at his distress. You had won this battle and you savoured every moment of it. “Take a chill pill J-Park.” Noticing the third person next to the double trouble of the Slytherin house you paused. “Oh, new friends?” You pointed towards the silent man behind them. During the whole interaction between the three of you he hadn’t said anything, his dark eyes meticulously observing the scene before him.

You decided it was rude of you to not introduce yourself. You may have a loud personality and be opinionated to the point of aggression sometimes but you couldn’t forget the etiquette that your parents instilled in you. Especially in front of a fellow Slytherin, so with a confident grin you stepped around the two clowns of the house and extended your hand out.

“I’m Y/N.” The stranger looked wearily at your hand before hesitantly extending his. You don’t wait for his hand to reach yours, grabbing it mid rise and waiting for him to tell you his name. Only for a drawn out silence to ensue. You give his cold hand a small encouraging squeeze, urging him to say something. Noticing the shift in atmosphere Jimin stepped up next to you grabbing your forearm.

“Y/N, Yoongi. Yoongi, Y/N” he quickly said whilst pulling your hand away from the hold. You eye your cousin suspiciously but decide to not say anything. Instead you look at Yoongi and offer him what you hope is a friendly smile. “ Nice to meet you Yoongi. Well I have to go back now, I have practice” you turn on your heels prepared to leave. But before you could rush off you stop abruptly as if you’ve remembered something. Turning back, you point to Yoongi’s hands, making the boy take a small step back at your abruptness. “Make sure to wear gloves Yoongi, it may still be autumn but the castle is cold and your hands are freezing.” With a wink you then turn your attention towards Jimin, pointing threateningly at him.

“And you, you better not be late for practice, Outdated Park. We can’t afford to lose in front of Jeon again so get your ass on the pitch on time or I'll tell Sunny about your massive-“ Jimin’s cheeks turned red instantly and he almost shoves you down the corridor desperate to not let you finish that sentence.

“I get it, now move your troublesome ass out of here,” he pleaded. Laughing you wave at the three of them one more time before you rush down the corridor to meet up with the rest of the Quidditch team.

That was the first time you saw Yoongi, not as tragic as the second time; where he stumbled upon you in a dimly lit corridor. You took refuge there after receiving an unsettling letter from your parents. Said letter, now suspiciously damp, dangled from your hands when he found you. Even though your face showed no sign of distress, if there was someone who could read emotions well it would’ve been apparent. Yoongi was that someone.

He approached you silently, cautiously. As if he was afraid his presence would set off the feelings you were trying so hard to suppress. He observed your blank face for a second, his face not giving away any of his thoughts. You knew he was there and yet, you did not move. You couldn’t, the fear and pain gripping at your heart making you immobile. The letter you had just read replayed in your mind constantly.

‘Our daughter,

As this year happens to be the last year of your studies, we have decided that it is time for us to think about your future. Your father and I have decided that once you have finished your exams you shall be coming back home to Murkwood Manor where you will be spending the summer attending galas thrown by esteemed families. We are pleased to have come to the conclusion that for your sake and progress into the pureblood society, a convenient marriage is the best option and what better place to find such connections than there?

We hope that you can see how much we are thinking about you and understand our worries about your future.

Your everloving parents.’

You tried to forget the words staining the white paper, but it proved to be difficult. You knew the day would come, you and Jimin having been primed for this since you were children. Unlike Jimin, who would have more freedom of choice as he was to inherit his parents’ manor, you were doomed to enter an arranged marriage. As a pureblood it had always been your duty. Before you understood what that meant, as a romantic, you used to be excited at that prospect. Your brain came up with scenarios similar to ones in books about wizards in arranged marriages and living happily ever after.

Once you grew up, the excitement morphed into apprehension. The prospect of being tied to someone you did not willingly choose was daunting. To receive a letter informing you of your imminent fate crushed you.

Yoongi let out a soft breath, the sound loud enough to break the silence between the two of you. You knew you had to acknowledge him and yet, you could not bring yourself to. You barely knew each other, but as soon as he crouched next to your slumped form, a hesitant hand reaching out for yours the dam broke. You didn’t know or care if his touch was the push you needed or if the tumultuous feelings running through you became too much. You let yourself weep, not caring about the man tightening his grip on your hand witnessing it.

Normally your mother’s voice would be ringing in your head, telling you that your behaviour was unladylike, that someone of your status should not act like this. But the cold touch enveloping your trembling hand offered you the comfort you needed to let go.

Though only a few minutes had passed they felt like an eternity to you, your violent sobs dissolving into sniffles, too tired to carry on. Unknowingly, your hand sought out the reassurance of Yoongi’s hand, your fingers now intertwined. He let you cry it out, not saying a word, but his mind was running at a hundred miles an hour. Had he not been an expert at hiding his feelings, you would have been able to see the sadness he felt displayed across his face. He could not fathom why you would be sitting on the stone cold ground, knees drawn to your chest, shivering and looking so...broken.

When your sniffles ceased you looked up at him, your face red and blotchy from crying. He didn’t ask, his understanding eyes only watched you as you tried to gather your thoughts. He didn’t ask and yet, you couldn’t help but tell him. Tell him of the fate that waited for you once you graduated. There was something about the way he looked at you, a comfort you found in his gentle gaze that you couldn’t help yourself. Hiccuping you let it all spill out, his grasp on your hands becoming your strength to carry on.

“Your parents don’t define who you are, you define who you are. Whatever you are feeling, going through and your future, your parents will not be with you forever. And if you spend most of your time pleasing them, when they are gone you will start resenting everything that you have become.”

With that Yoongi wordlessy let go of your hand and slipped out of the bathroom leaving you with a tear stained grubby face slumped on the bathroom floor.

For a few days after that you tried avoiding Yoongi like the plague. Too embarrassed at your outburst you found yourself leaving the Great Hall when he would enter, turning your head the other way when you happened to make eye contact in class and avoiding any conversation that brought him up. If anyone noticed your odd behaviour towards him they did not say a word. He didn’t try to approach you, and no one in your House mentioned anything about it, and so after that first week you relaxed. Your cousin, however, did notice and when he tried to approach you about it you dismissed it as not having enough free time with the Quidditch game around the corner.

“Y/N, you do know I am on the same team as you right?” Jimin’s use of your full name indicated he was serious about the conversation. Sighing your shoulders slumped, you were feeling tired of hiding around. After letting it all out in front of Yoongi, it felt like all your body wanted to do was shout out to the world how exhausted you were of being a member of a pureblood family. No one would understand you better than Jimin would.

“I’m just tired, Chim.” Jimin faltered, his seriousness melted into worry at the sound of your voice. You sounded meek, the exhaustion clear on your face. Jimin was never one for emotional display, but he was your cousin, he was your family, he was like your brother. He offered you the comfort that you sought, placing his arms around you. You didn’t wait for him to speak, the unasked question hanging above you like the ghosts roaming around the castle.

“I’m getting married.” At your words you felt Jimin stiffen. He knew what you were talking about, it was a long tradition in pureblood families. Arranged marriages were not uncommon, if only to keep the bloodline pure; so it was only a matter of time before this happened to you as well. He was lucky, as the male of the family, he had more freedom than you but that also didn’t mean he could marry just anyone. “Who?” Was all he asked and you took a moment to recollect yourself, wondering if the mention of the rival School in the tournament would be a bad idea. “Who, Y/N?”

You stepped away from him, your eyes glossy with unshed tears. “Someone from Beauxbatons. I don’t even know his face. Just his name. And I am supposed to live the rest of my life with this person.” You felt the tears gather in your eyes but you knew you couldn’t cry. Even if it was just Jimin, the rest of the courtyard was completely void of students, your pride stopped you from letting all your emotions flow. Yoongi caught you at your most vulnerable and since that day you swore to yourself you would never let it happen again. If anyone were to witness it and your parents to get wind of it, you would be reprimanded, possibly even punished.

Jimin felt the shift in you, your vulnerable demeanour instantly covered up by a cold emotionless wall. He tried to say something, anything to prevent that shift but he couldn’t bring himself to. He understood why you would do that; as a pureblood the expectation to be impeccable was high, and the slightest slip would end in punishment. Not wanting to push you towards an emotional breakdown he did what he normally did best and distracted you from your misery. Gripping your shoulders he smirked at you, “come on Park 2.0, we need to get on that pitch today and win.”

The sight of the Quidditch pitch along with your peers cheering and chanting, instantly calmed you. This was your home, on your broom, ready to kick some ass. Today was the game against the Gryffindor team and the contrast between the green of your House and the red of Gryffindor House formed an enchanting colour palette. The Team Captain was yelling instructions left and right, discussing the strategy once more but you didn’t care. All you wanted was to be up in the air and hit a few Bludgeons to vent your frustrations out. As soon as your Team is given the go ahead you kick off onto your broom. The feel of the air brushing your face and the sound of your teammates yelling encouragement to each other giving you the adrenaline that you needed to get your head in the game.

The chants fuelled you, dodging a Bludger here, slamming your bat into it, sending it into the direction of a chaser, your head never left the game. The dynamics of the group, the teamwork, they all made you proud to be part of the team. From time to time, your eyes would wander towards the bleachers, taking in the crowd. Your fellow Slytherins were cheering as loudly as they could, chanting everyone’s name. You rolled your eyes, of course the loudest yells would come from the Gryffindor side. Kim Seokjin and Jeon Jungkook were favourites and so, their names would be on every lion’s lips. A quick break from the referee allowed you to catch your breath, high fiving with your fellow beater. You were crushing this. Taking in a deep gulp of air to calm down your heartbeat you scanned the crowd once again, only to make eye contact with a dark haired Slytherin who seemed to be watching you intently. You smiled hesitantly, confused at his presence, Yoongi had never been the one to watch the Quidditch games, but his presence gave you confidence that everything would be alright.

The game wasn’t going in your favour, Gryffindor had a good chance at winning, everyone on the edge of their seats for the end of the match. Suddenly you saw Jimin and Jungkook diving towards the ground, neck to neck and you knew that they'd spotted the Snitch. Breath caught in your throat, everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Jimin turns at the last minute, rising back up leaving Jungkook behind. In his hand he held the Snitch. The triumphant yell of the crowd switches from the Slytherin crowd towards the Gryffindor team and you lower your head dejected. Jimin may have caught the Snitch, but Gryffindor House had already won enough points to win the game without it. Sighing you turned towards your team, their hopelessness could be felt throughout the pitch. It wasn’t their fault, they’d played a good game, so in an attempt to cheer them up you started clapping. Soon, the crowd all caught onto what you were doing and joined in and quickly, what could have turned into a disastrous end for the team morale ended up quite the opposite. You turned yourself towards the crowd, the smile on your face widening at the sight of your fellow Slytherins cheering for you. In that moment you swore you didn’t look through the crowd for a particular person, but your eyes found his and your grin widened. Yoongi was clapping along with everyone else, his reassuring gaze never leaving yours. Suddenly you didn’t feel like you lost anymore, instead, you felt like a winner.

Under normal circumstances, the days after the game were the hardest to endure. This time however, the atmosphere felt lighter than even before the match. After the game ended and the team went back to change out of their uniform, your Team Captain held a speech about pride and defeat. That, along with the cheers from the crowd, lessened the sting of the loss and you promised yourselves that you will do better for the next one. However, classes and your professors waited for no one. With only a few weeks left until Christmas break the number of assignments kept rising, and the pressure of your N.E.W.Ts looming above your head forced you to spend every possible waking moment inside the library, your head stuck in a book. Despite being a Slytherin and not a Ravenclaw, you did enjoy studying. You were never alone whilst in there, especially now that Jimin and that Hufflepuff were spending more and more time in the library together. You got first hand experience of their budding relationship. Both of them being very much interested, yet both of them being very much oblivious.

It was during one of those days in the library when Yoongi approached you. The library was already full with students trying to cram a last minute essay. You were no better, your Potions essay due that afternoon, you tried to get as much done as possible. Writing about the properties of Amortentia was not a pleasant experience. Scribbling furiously, you bit your lip in concentration, not even noticing the silent dark haired man that sat down in front of you.

“You’re going to break your quill if you carry on writing like that.” His remark made you jump out of your skin, dropping your quill to the ground and knocking your ink over the sides of the table in the process. “Ah, shit.” You muttered as you tried to blot your parchment with your robes. Yoongi jumped out of the seat, hurrying to help you salvage your work, muttering his apologies to you incessantly. “It’s okay, no problem.” You smiled at him, you were not really upset, you knew your essay could be done better and maybe a restart is what you needed. “You actually did me a favour.” Confused, Yoongi glanced at your paper. “Isn’t it due today?” He motioned towards how much you’ve written, “and that looks like a lot of research to me.” Waving him off you sat back down and got out another piece of parchment.

“It wasn’t that good to begin with. Potions is not my strongest suit so I could probably do with rewriting it. There’s only so much, ‘and boom they fall in love’ that you can describe.” You laughed at Yoongi’s expression. He looked offended at your statement, and you took the time to admire his expressions. Never one to express too many feelings, at least not in your presence, it felt like a breath of fresh air. You couldn’t help but wonder what caused the change in behaviour. “Wait, a Slytherin, not good at Potions?” He mock gasped at you and you laughed. He looked a lot younger, freer this way and you couldn’t help but take in this carefree Yoongi. As you stared at the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled; his wide grin making his round cheeks puff out, you felt your heart speed up, and butterflies start fluttering in your stomach. “I know right?!” You carried on with his joke, not wanting this lighthearted atmosphere to end. “Appalling.” He nodded trying to look serious. You tried to hold in your laugh but when your eyes met, you couldn’t stop yourselves and burst out laughing.

“Shhhhhh.” The angry librarian loomed over the both of you and you bowed your heads in apology still trying to stifle your laughter. “Well, that is that… now you know my darkest secret.” So absorbed in getting your books together, you didn’t notice the way Yoongi stiffened. “I am bad at Potions, and it’s my final year and there is no way I can do anything about it now.” When you carried on, Yoongi relaxed a small smile thrown into your direction. “Would….you don’t have to, but would you like some help? I may not be the best….” You perked up instantly as soon as he said that, not even letting him finish you quickly grabbed his hand and nodded. “Nonsense. You are one of the best in our year!” You noticed the slight redness that crept up Yoongi’s cheeks and you smirked. “And I heard that you are going to be interning for the Auror Office at the end of school! I would be honoured if you helped me!” Sensing his hesitation, you paused for a second, trying to think of a way to make him feel more comfortable about it when an idea suddenly hit you. “How about an exchange?” You looked at him hopefully, his eyes roaming over your face trying to understand what you were proposing. “As in, is there anything that you may need help with?” You clarified and Yoongi nodded, finally understanding what you meant. He didn’t reply for a while and you started to get uncomfortable under his gaze. Shifting uneasily in your seat you cleared your throat, “of course, you don’t have to, I just thought it may make things a lot fairer if-”

“Defence” Yoongi interrupted abruptly. You stared at him for a second before your baffled expression turned into a smile. “Deal.” You took the deal, even though you knew very well that Yoongi was more than good at the subject, having managed to be one of the few people who could produce a Patronus in class. Deciding not to mention having observed his wispy Weasel Patronus almost starting to attack your Serpent one, you nodded at him extending your hand to seal the deal. Startled, Yoongi took a glance at your hand before hesitantly grabbing it. His warm hand enveloped yours and you gripped it, immediately finding comfort in his warm grip. Staring at each other for a second, the silence that settled over you wasn’t uncomfortable. There was a remnant of something that felt overlooked, as if there was something left unsaid between the two of you. Yoongi opened his mouth and your breath caught in your throat.

“Oi, Park!” Your cousin’s voice broke the comfortable bubble that you and Yoongi were in and you immediately dropped your hand on the table, pretending nothing had happened. You knew Jimin, and you knew he would not let you live it down if he noticed the position you and his friend were in. You schooled your face in a sneer and turned towards your obnoxious family member. “What Outdated Park?” You sneered at him, annoyed, then settled your eyes on the person hiding behind him. Sunny looked uncomfortable, so to ease the tension you smiled at her. It wasn’t that you didn’t like her, yet, you would not go out of your way to get to know her. “Are you ready for the Yule Ball?” Jimin airly said, dropping his arm over Sunny’s shoulder in such a casual way you could tell it was something he did often. At the thought of the Yule Ball, your mood instantly soured. Jimin knew there was no way you were excited about it, you glanced at Yoongi, who was doing his best to look at anyone but you. “Uhm, yeah, I guess.” You shrugged, the disappointment in our voice quite obvious.Yoongi chanced a glance at you, and you smiled sadly at him. “We will have to wait and see.” You broke eye contact, turning around to look back at Jimin, whose sympathetic eyes took in the interaction between you and his friend.

Yoongi felt his heart drop and his hand twitched. The sadness that he could read in your eyes made him want to grab your hand again, to reassure you, yet he stopped himself. He was nothing for you, and he could never be something. He would just stay as a friend and tutor, even though all he wanted to do was ask you to be his partner for the dance.

Staring at yourself in the mirror you took a deep breath in, your hands twitched at your sides. You were trying hard to not wipe them on your ball gown, your parents would kill you if you appeared less than perfect in front of anyone. Yoongi’s words rang loud and clear in your head. Refusing to acknowledge the truth of his statement you focused on your appearance once again. Tonight, you would be meeting your fiance officially - the thought as appealing as that one time you fell off the broom during the match against the Gryffindor team. You threw one more glance at yourself in the mirror before you acknowledged your friends calling your name.

“Coming! Wands out your asses.” You walk out of the dormitory into the Common Room. The dark atmosphere broken by the languid emerald flames coming from the fireplace, enhancing your satin dress. The lights caught in the folds of it giving it the fluidity of a crystal clear lake, the silver diamond like colour reflecting the green sheen cast around the room.

“Y/N, you have outdone yourself. Your partner is extremely lucky.” Your heart sped up at the thought of having to face your supposed arranged marriage partner. After you received your letter and had your emotional slip-up, you’d pushed the thought of your future fiance to the back of your brain. However, what you hadn’t realised was that with the Tournament happening at Hogwarts this year, you were going to meet your future husband sooner than intended. A pureblood from Beauxbatons; he was amongst the students chosen to be part of the visiting party. So, it didn’t surprise you when one afternoon, during your study session with your friends, he approached you. After he introduced himself, he immediately asked you to be his partner for the Yule Ball. No one else had dared to ask you to the Ball. Mouth agape you struggled to respond to him, knowing full well you couldn’t refuse, when you spotted Jimin and Yoongi making their way towards you.

“Hey Annoying Park.” Jimin greeted you, but at the sight of your discombobulated expression his face darkened, and he glanced between you and the Beauxbatons guy. “Who are you?” He narrows his eyes at the stranger and you would’ve laughed at his crassness if not for the conflicted feelings coursing through you. A small cough behind Jimin caught your attention and your eyes made contact with Yoongi’s. He shifted under your gaze as if uncomfortable and a sudden rush of embarrassment came over you. There was no reason to be ashamed of the situation you were in. Your future fiance had asked you to a ball, it was a perfectly normal situation. Nonetheless, the thought of Yoongi witnessing it made you squirm.

The tension was so thick you felt as if you were trapped in the darkness of the Forbidden Forest. The Beauxbatons student took a step forwards, placing himself in front of you in a protective manner. “Luc Millefeuille the Third.” He announced proudly, puffing his chest. Yoongi stiffened drastically at the name. He had heard it before, in newspapers. His great grandfather, the famous patissiere, was known for the serial mass poisoning of a group of muggles. The thought of you being chained to such a name made his skin crawl. If Jimin recognised the name he didn’t show it, instead he eyed the male with a steel gaze. “Nice to meet you.” Glancing at you he motioned with his head. “Red, we have practice to go to.” Taking the chance to get out of the situation you mumbled a goodbye to Luc before you hurried after Jimin.

In the end, Luc cornered you once more and you had no choice but to agree. Your parents were bound to have some harsh words for you if they found out you refused him. You knew of the family name, Jimin had made you aware of it. Despite your inherited indifference towards muggles, the thought of mass murder disgusted you. You didn’t know what your parents were planning and you couldn’t find out as your letters home had not been replied to.

“Y/N, are you ready?” You snapped out of your reverie. Turning to look at your friends, your smile grim, you nodded at them. “Yes, I guess so.” Patting your skirts once more you prepared to exit the dungeons just as the entrance opened, revealing a dashing Yoongi dressed in black robes, with a dark green sash around his torso. You faltered as you made eye contact with him, his eyes trailed down your form, darkening to the colour of tar. You felt yourself flush under his gaze, a slight tingle underneath your skin making you shift in discomfort. You couldn’t break eye contact with him even as your friends greeted him, his shocked gaze keeping you in place. “Y/N.” He whispered, taking a step towards you, you’re prepared to reach out to him when your sight is cut off by the abrupt entrance of the blonde Frenchman who barged past Yoongi.

“Y/N. You look delicious.” He smirked at you and you had to fight the urge to grimace. Grabbing your hand forcefully he doesn’t even acknowledge Yoongi as he dragged you out of the Common Room. Having to pick up your pace so that you didn’t trip over your dress, you looked back, your desperate eyes making contact with Yoongi’s dark ones once more. However, he’s gone from your sight the next second as Luc turned the corner.

Not being part of the Champions, the two of you had to wait near the entrance to the Great Hall, so you took your time observing the Christmas decorations that littered the gradious hall. The theme was a dark blue, with stars sparkling above your heads bathing the dance floor in an ethereal glow. You spotted Jimin and Sunny waiting to the side for the signal to start the dance. You could tell she was nervous by the way she gripped at Jimin’s robes, whispering animatedly in his ear. You laughed to yourself, you didn’t know her very well and you weren’t her biggest fan per se, but their relationship was adorable. Both of them were so oblivious to the other it was almost endearing if not borderline annoying.

Luc’s grip on you hasn’t softened since you entered the Grand Hall, it was starting to make you feel uncomfortable. You stepped to the side as you tried to get him to loosen his hold on you. When you were unsuccessful, you stomped your foot near his. “Let go.” You warned him through gritted teeth. Not only did he ignore you, but he tightened his grip on your arm as he dragged you forwards towards the rink. You didn’t even notice that the Champions had finished with their first dance, and now it was open to everyone to join in. You knew you’d regret it later, as you missed the opportunity to witness your cousin’s marvelous dancing with his clumsy partner, but you had more pressing matters to sort out. Your partner pulled you onto the dance floor and with a sneer he glanced at you, “I hope you know how to dance, I don’t want to be embarrassed.” You bit back a remark, you knew you couldn’t cause a scene in the middle of so many people, no matter how loud you normally were. Instead of answering you tighten your grip on his shoulder, your eyes coldly staring past him.

As you glided in a waltz across the floor you took your time scanning the room, taking in all the couples, the decorations and most importantly, your eyes were searching for the sole person you wanted to see that night. You spotted him in a corner near a table, his eyes already on you. The intensity with which he was watching you made a shiver run down your spine. This time, it didn’t feel uncomfortable, on the contrary Yoongi’s gaze on you felt reassuring. The whole dance you kept your gazes locked on each other, Yoongi not even glancing away as his partner got pulled from him for a dance. Even though you were apart, and you were dancing with the man meant to be your husband, it felt like it was just you and Yoongi in the room.

You stepped away from Luc as soon as the dance ended. Muttering an excuse about needing refreshments you fought the urge to gag when instead of offering to get them for you, he burdened you with his own refreshments. Taking any excuse that you could to get away from him you nodded and hurriedly made your way towards the tables where Jimin greeted you.

“You could’ve done worse.” His mocking tone irked you and you resisted the urge to kick him in the shin. Instead you angrily grabbed a glass of mead and downed half of it in one go. “Woah there, slow down.” Jimin backed away from you. “If you tell me it’s unladylike Park, I swear on Peeve’s dung bombs you and Sunny will not have any children.” You grumbled under your breath at him, not caring that said girl was also next to him, both their faces now beet red. “I am close to murdering him.” You sighed, the drink and reprieve you had from your French fiancee finally calming you down. “Oh Merlin’s beard, here he comes.” You spotted Luc making his way through the crowd with a pompous stride, heading straight towards you. Grabbing Jimin by his robes in a desperate attempt to hide, you didn’t notice the other man that reached you before your fiance could. With a yelp, you stumbled straight into Yoongi’s chest, his hands wrapping around your waist in an attempt to steady you. “You’re good.” He whispered in your ear. Your stomach clenched at his low voice and his breath hitting the sensitive shell of your ear. Mumbling a thanks you stepped away from him, your eyes never leaving his. You could feel your heart speeding up and you had to resist the urge to grab onto him for support once more.

“Y/N, where are the drinks?” Luc’s voice broke you out of your daze, and you turned away from Yoongi to face him. “I- uh- forgot.” You mumbled causing the Frenchman to scoff at you, a look of pure disgust on his face. “I can’t believe my wife is this stupid.” He spat at you. You could feel your blood boiling in anger, but before you could reply Jimin stepped in front of you. “She is not your wife and she is definitely not stupid.” You could hear the anger in his voice. Luc sized him up, knowing that he couldn’t have an argument with the head of the Park family, that would ruin any chances. Instead he sneered at your cousin whilst grabbing your arm tightly. “Come on.” He glared at you, but having had enough you stood your ground trying to pry your arm out of his grip. “Let me go.” You said through gritted teeth, you were close to hexing his ass and no one would have been able to stop you. Pulling at you roughly once more trying to get you away from your friends, he suddenly tripped over his robes. You yelped feeling yourself start to fall down along with him, when a hand grabbed you and pulled you towards a familiar chest. In the corner of your eyes you noticed a wand being placed back into the black robes that Yoongi was wearing.

“What happened?” Luc looked around confused, picking himself off the floor and you realised straight away what Yoongi had done. “Your robe’s dirty.” Yoongi pointed out with a monotonous voice, and you fought back a laugh. You could see the change in Luc’s eyes, the anger making him explode. With a flurry of curses thrown around in French, he stormed out of the Great Hall. You stared after him in silence for a second before you couldn’t help it anymore and you burst out laughing. “Oh, wow. Who would have thought?” Jimin finally calmed down enough to speak. “Now if you’d excuse us, Sunny needs to polish her dancing skills.” Saying that he grabbed said girl by the arm and led her towards the dance floor. Still chuckling to yourself you turned towards Yoongi, a sparkle in your eyes that made his heart burst with warmth.

“Confundus eh? Thank you. I don’t know how to repay you for that.” You smiled kindly at him, waiting for a response. But when he silently extended his hand towards you, all you felt was the blood rushing to your head, making you dizzy. “You could dance with me.” His tone was calm, not once giving away the nervousness that he felt beneath his skin. You didn’t even hesitate, you placed your hands in his. He led you towards the dance floor, wrapping his arm around your waist, whilst you daintily placed your hand on his shoulder. As you slowly started to glide along the dancefloor between the couples, your eyes locked onto his. The charmed stars twinkling above you, your heart fluttered in hope.

Needless to say, Christmas holidays came and went, your trip home cut short by your desire to be away from your obnoxious family, and the excitement of continuing your studies alongside Yoongi. With his help, you started making progress with your Potions, and you would have long chats about anything and everything during the hours you were meant to be studying for Defence. Yoongi felt happy, it felt like everything was finally going right. Until that one fateful day when a curse and a fight would change everything for him. He never thought that by being himself just once in his life, would cost everything he had managed to build over the past seven years at the school.

Yoongi’s heart dropped. He’d been found out. He could tell just by looking at everyone’s reaction. The friends he’d managed to make, had found out about his blood status. If not certain, they are suspecting him now. Suddenly, flashbacks of his father degrading him- calling him a dirty blood traitor, whilst making sure the skin of his wrist was raw and blistery, plagued his mind. His thoughts filled with his father’s harsh words, accompanied by his mother’s cries; the symphony of Yoongi’s life. He stood frozen on the spot, the adrenaline coursing through his veins causing him to enter the fight or flight mode. His wide eyes took in the faces of the people that have always supported him for the past few years he’s been at Hogwarts.

But then again, could Yoongi even call these people friends? Could he say they have always supported him? He glanced at Jimin.

Jimin, the person whom he thought was a stuck up pureblood. The person who approached him, offered him not only a seat at the Slytherin table, but also a group to belong in. He could vividly recall the day he got put into his house. He was terrified when the Sorting Hat sealed his fate with a simple holler- “SLYTHERIN!” Yoongi was aware of the house's reputation and fame. Full of purebloods, prejudice and pride; his mother had warned him to stay away from them. But how could he, now that he was one of them? In a split moment, he decided then and there that he would not allow anyone know about his status, he would take it to his grave if he had to. So with a strengthened resolve he created Slytherin Yoongi. Gone was the boy who would openly smile until his cheeks hurt, the boy who dreamt of happy endings, the boy who would innocently sit by the lake, his eyes following the murtlaps chasing each other. In his stead, a coldness settled over him. He knew that in order to make it he had to avoid being too close to anyone. Becoming friends with people would only make it harder for him to hide who he was. So he hid in the shadows on his own, keeping himself away from activities that would force him to interact with people more than necessary.

Until Jimin came along. Under the pureblood facade, Jimin was charismatic and flirtatious with everyone and that made him very popular amongst his fellow Slytherins. Yoongi stood no chance against his charms, and when one day he felt himself pulled down, to sit with the most popular Slytherin boy and his best friend he did not know what to make of it.

“You look terrified,” Jimin laughed at Yoongi’s expression.

Being aloof and stiff with most of his peers made Yoongi very good at reading people. However, there was one person he could not read at all, and that was himself. Conflicted most of the time, the battle between the soft hearted boy who would try his best to make everyone happy and the new indifferent one mirrored in his eyes. Jimin was not stupid by any means, Yoongi found that out along the way. The internal battle that he was going through was not unnoticed by the pureblood Slytherin. Thinking about his friend and their journey into their friendship caused an old wound to reopen, a new wave of pain washing over him.

Then there was Jin, his neighbour Jin, who had stuck with him through thick and thin since childhood. Jin was there to pick him up when the other muggle children started calling him a freak. He never thought that Jin would end up at Hogwarts, not until they both got their letter when their mothers met up during their weekly cooking sessions. Getting excited over the letters, their mothers gushed at the two of them being best friends forever. Having Jin be there with him when they both entered the grand halls of the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was a comfort he knew he shouldn’t indulge in. After all, they would probably not end up in the same house, and having read enough about the School, he knew there were rivalries, stereotypes. He couldn’t bear the thought of Jin becoming his enemy. So he kept his distance. But as usual, Jin had an innate ability to jump in and save the day, a stubbornness only characteristic to Gryffindors. So, Jin stayed by his side. The boy was smart enough to not reveal their friendship to everyone. Until this day, that is.

Then there was Red, you were the sole reason his cold facade melted. For you he became the person that he used to be. Warm hearted and ready to jump to anyone’s aid. He tried his best to not let his wall crumble, and for the most part he succeeded. But in his heart, something changed, something shifted. Your loud and honest personality paired with your stubbornness and your laissez faire attitude drew him in straight away. Yet, you were Jimin’s cousin, born as a pureblood, with the values of a Slytherin. You were loud and proud about being who you were. Never obnoxious about it, but there would be times when you would slip in one insult or another towards fellow ‘mudblood’ students. Yoongi knew then that as enraptured as he was by you, he had to keep you at a distance. He could not let you find out who he was, so he denied himself the intimacy with you that he desperately craved.

He got caught in the web of lies he has created around his persona. The Yoongi that everyone knew was a facade, he was not and he would never be that Yoongi. He wasn’t the pureblood genius that everyone knew, and he certainly was not the pureblood that could ever hope to win Red’s heart. At the thought of you his eyes honed in on yours. To his surprise he couldn’t see any animosity in them, instead the sheen that glossed over your eyes spoke of pain. The sight of you there, amongst the people who have witnessed his comeuppance was unbearable to him and so with one last wistful glance at you, he turned on his heels and ran.

“Yoongi!” The chorus of voices calling him was drowned out by the desperation in your voice.

He ran as fast as he could, stumbling into people, his eyes filling with hot tears. His legs were starting to hurt, and as he passed students, teachers, statues, Peeves who tried to pelt him with water - all he could focus on was the scene that had sealed his fate. The punches, his innate reaction to help his friends. The way Jin and Jimin had thrown meaningless words at each other. Something so unlike Jin that he did not know what to do, he acted instantly to break up the fight. Seeing his childhood friend, his brother, this aggressive triggered something in him he had not felt for a while. Fear.

He feared that Jin may have snapped, the trials of his life finally catching up to him at one word sputtered by Park’s mouth, so he acted out of pure instinct. He got in between the two, but to everyone’s surprise, Jimin was not the person he first reached out to. It was Jin who worried him the most. Talking to him in front of everyone as if he was an old friend, saying things to him that he shouldn’t have known, raised an alarm in everyone’s minds. When everything finally calmed down, Jin calmed down and Park, constrained by Taehyung. Yoongi was the only one left in the middle of the crowd, exposed and afraid.

Seeing him stand like that, his nervous countenance so unlike the cool composed man you’ve come to know, spurred you on. Cautiously you approached him, your hand extended towards him. “Yoongi?” You tried to get his attention however, your voice came out softer than you’d intended. Clearing your throat, you tried again, this time with a lot more conviction. “Yoongi, are you...ok?” To your credit, you settled for the safest of questions. There were a million thoughts running through your head, how did he know Jin? Most importantly, how did he know Jin so well? You have never once witnessed any contact between him and the Gryffindor Head Boy, other than the occasional nod in his direction. But this, everything you’ve heard, it seemed like their relationship ran deeper than Hogwarts. Purebloods and muggles in your head did not mix, especially Slytherins, unless there was something there that you were missing. That thought now in your head, you threw a hesitant glance in Jimin’s direction. It was easy to spot him amongst the rest, his face the only calm composed one out of all of them. Taehyung, Sunny, Nerd- the surprise was clear and apparent on their faces. Jimin’s calm composure told you all you needed to know- he was aware of the situation. Promising yourself to question him later, you turned your attention back to Yoongi, who as time passed looked more and more like a cornered animal, and you knew that at any moment he would flee the scene. Without thinking you took three rushed steps towards him, your eyes locked onto his. You read the sheer panic in them and before you could react his feet had carried him halfway across the hallway. “Yoongi!”

Without thinking you ran after him, ignoring your cousin’s shouts for you to return. You did what you normally did best, acted rashly and ignorantly. As a beater on the Slytherin team you had the athletic advantage and so you quickly caught up with his retreating form. Reaching out for his arm you stopped him dead in his tracks. “Yoongi. Stop.” Your voice sounded harsher than you’d intended, so desperate to get him to listen to you that you did not consider how your tone would affect him. You waited, not even phased by the sound of the other students milling in the corridors, the sight of his back being all you could see. The sound of his laboured breathing all you could hear. You uttered his name again yet, he did not turn around to face you, and for a second your composure crumbles. You squeeze his arm trying to get his attention, trying to get him to respond to you, trying to get him to do something. Caught up in your own thoughts and worries you yelped in surprise, you didn’t even notice his sharp intake of breath before he suddenly yanked his arm out of your hold.

“What do you want now?” The tone of his voice is as cold as the corridor you are both in. Your heart clenches at the sound. You were expecting him to be hurt or scared, but the anger that you could read in his voice takes you by surprise. How Slytherin of him, you thought, and how Slytherin of you to assume he would be anything but angry. All your life you’ve been indoctrinated to believe that anyone is below you, no matter who they are, all your life you were taught to assume you could read everyone, and you would always be right in your assumptions. Prejudice is not a winner in this case, you realised, not when it comes to love. Because all the nights you have spent in your dark room mulling over what had transpired between the two of you since that day in the bathroom, to the Yule Ball where you could barely think of dancing with anyone else but him. You didn’t see it coming, like a Bludgeon to the head, but your heart did. You tried and tried to tell yourself that it was not love, but it was already too late.

“Yoongi, please don’t shut us out.” You haven’t pleaded in your life, the sound of your voice a surprise to your ears. Before you could think too much into it, Yoongi’s response hit you like the Cruciatus curse.

“Why? Why would I not? Why would I let you use my situation to fuel your pureblood pride?” He spat and you recoiled instantly from him, you’ve never heard such venomous words coming from him. “Yoongi,” you whispered, the fire in your heart dwindling. “Why are you like this? I’ve never....why,” you tried to find your words but the hurt and shock running through your body made it difficult. “You’ve never been like this.” You finally settled. Yoongi narrowed his eyes at you, his fierce expression made you tremble. The shivers running down your spine didn’t stop even as he carried on. The malicious tone of his voice bleeding through your veins like ice cold water. For a second you wonder if this is what Jimin’s felt like as Sunny pulled him out of the Black Lake. Cold and scared.

“What do you know about me?” You open your mouth to respond but he stops you dead in your tracks. “Nothing!” he hissed. “You don’t know anything about me. You know Yoongi, the Slytherin. But you don’t know anything about Min Yoongi the person.” His words cut through you and in that moment you’d rather be stuck with an army of Dementors than hear the accusations thrown your way. You knew he was right, you knew nothing of him. You hadn’t tried to even after your brain finally accepted that your heart belonged to him. Ashamedly, you cower away from him, your heart stuck in your throat, the sudden feeling of nausea hitting you as if you’ve had more Butterbeer than needed. You couldn’t speak, your words falling short of your own feelings. You wanted to tell him you wanted to know him, the real him, pureblood or not, it was him you have fallen in love with. You wanted to tell him the extent of your feelings, yet nothing would come out. The silence that settled over the two of you was pressing and your senses were telling you to run, to get away from the uncomfortable feelings coursing through you. There was a reason you were sorted in Slytherin, more than your pureblood status, the need for self preservation ingrained in you since birth.

Yoongi’s laugh brought you back to the present, the despair you could discern in it made your heart break. Once more, the need to yell out your feelings, to comfort him like you did that day in the bathroom, willed you to move, and so you did. Taking a small weary step, the need to be closer to him overriding your cautiousness you softly whispered his name.

Scared and confused, Yoongi knew he had shut himself in. He was aware of what his words were doing to you, yet he could not bring himself to care. Not when all he could feel was the rejection that had trumped over his entire life, not when the hurt he has carried since birth which was not even his own doing, fuelled his emotions. His heart was screaming at him to move away from you before he did more damage, to remove himself from your vulnerable form, something he had only witnessed twice, your pride never allowing you to show anything less than perfection. However, what he did was the complete opposite to that. The hand that was extended towards him, in an attempt at reconciliation, made him bristle, and so, acting like a cornered Hippogriff, he took the bite in the form of words. Words he would come to regret later, but at that moment, it did not matter to him.

“Stop, just stop.” His voice was loud and clear, the hardness of it washing over you. He could have cast a Stupefy spell over you and the results would have been the same. You froze, the feeling of dread gripping at your heart. “Do you think you can come here, with your pretty words and make everything better?” He spat, his eyes blazing with anger. “You don’t know anything about me, and you wouldn’t care to know.”

Finding your voice, the anger he is throwing at you fuelling yours, you narrowed your eyes at him. “Yoongi, stop. I never said I did not want to know you. I will never shut you out like you are now. Stop being a coward. Don’t shut us out,” The anger in your voice dissipated, leaving the desperation that you felt to seep through. “Don’t shut me out.” But Yoongi is relentless, his anger blinding, he knew he needed to protect himself from what was to come and so, he chose to do it in the only way he’s known how to, by distancing himself from people and his own feelings. “So what, are you implying you’d be friends with a mudblood?” He scoffed, and for a second you couldn’t find the will to speak. Taking it as an agreement, Yoongi carries on, his voice more spiteful than before. “See what I mean? You are not going to shut me out? That is a lie, and you know it. What would your parents think about their perfect princess being friends with a dirty blood traitor huh? What would they say if you brought something as disgusting as that and presented him as your friend? You couldn't, could you? Your perfect status is too important to be tainted” He took another step towards you, but this time instead of meeting him in the middle, you took a step back. The fire in his eyes, and the hatred in his voice terrified you.

“But you’re not a mudblood, not…” You couldn’t continue, your heart stuck in your throat, and the taste of bile invaded your tastebuds once more. You could feel the tears pricking, waiting to come out. Yoongi stopped in his tracks, his eyes wide as if you’ve burnt him. And maybe you have, because the next second he groaned in frustration, “see what I mean, Y/N? Full mudblood or not, blood status will forever matter to you. And this is why you need to stay away from me. Forget I even existed in your life.” With that he turned around and left in a hurry his robes billowing behind him, not even bothering to glance back at your broken form. He knew he shattered you, his words pierced through your heart, he could’ve used an Unforgivable Curse on you and it would have been kinder than this. Yoongi tried his hardest to not break down in front of you but as soon as he turned the corner and was out of your sight he crumpled to the ground, his silent sobs a mirror of your echoing ones.

He didn’t know how long he’d stayed there, he didn’t know when his legs carried him to the bathroom that Moaning Myrtle normally did the rounds in, yet he wasn’t disturbed by anyone. He didn’t even notice you entering and trying to talk to him again, all he could hear was the yells of his father, the abuse he suffered because of what he was, all to the soundtrack of his own sobs. He could feel his body begging him to stop, to stop crying himself to exhaustion. When he eventually calmed down he found himself unable to move, and you were nowhere to be seen. His body stiff from sitting in one position for so long, his head pounding with the effort of crying, he felt empty. Helpless. He didn’t know where to go from there, aware it was late he willed himself to move. He knew he needed to return to the dungeons, it would be around this time that Jimin would start his rounds as Prefect and he didn’t want to risk getting points taken away from them if anyone else but Jimin found him loitering in the corridors. Though, that wouldn’t be unlike him, a disappointment to his house.

Luckily for him, the way to the Common Room was deserted. Before entering, the growl coming from his empty stomach reminded him he missed dinner and so at the last minute he took a detour towards the kitchens, hoping that one of the Elves could make him something to eat. Standing in front of the painting he tickled the pear. Entering the kitchens he greeted the House Elves but to his surprise, he found himself staring at Jimin. Muttering his name Yoongi went to turn around and leave, the sight of his friend a painful reminder of what happened a few hours prior. “Yoongi, wait.” Jimin’s voice sounded stern and by habit, Yoongi stopped dead in his tracks. He didn’t want to face his friend, the friend who always thought he was something he wasn’t, something he could never be, and something that Jimin valued above anything else. The thought of you crossed his mind and he closed his eyes tightly in grief. How could he dare face the cousin of the person he’s hurt the most?

“Jimin.” He couldn’t say anymore than that, his feelings clear in his voice. He felt angry, he felt ashamed, he felt like a fraud. No one said a word, the hustle and bustle of the House Elves the only noise that could be heard around them. Finally, Jimin sighed as he sat back down, motioning for Yoongi to join him. Yoongi hesitated, he shouldn’t. He didn’t know what Jimin would do now that he knew his friend wasn’t what he said. “Please sit or I'll have to report you to the Headboy for being out this late.” Yoongi narrowed his eyes. He wouldn’t put it past Jimin to do such a thing so he complied, and sat down further away. Once again Jimin sighed,”look, I won’t discuss what happened today unless you wish to.” Yoongi’s eyes widened, unable to believe what he was hearing. It was so unlike Jimin to make a pass at someone in such a way.

“Then why am I sitting here?” Yoongi bit back, too exhausted to lash out at Jimin, even though that is all he wanted to do. “Because you are my friend.” Yoongi couldn’t help but scoff at Jimin’s words, “Yes, you are my friend Yoongi, nothing can change that, especially since you are in love with my cousin.” Yoongi froze, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His brain was yelling at him to deny it, how could he love you, when all he’s done was hurt you, yet his heart wholeheartedly agreed with Jimin. Confused by his own feelings, he didn’t say anything while waiting for Jimin to continue. Seeing that his friend was not going to react to his words Jimin sighed and continued. “Look, I knew who you were, I've known since 4th year.” Yoongi snapped his head round to look at Jimin, his eyes wide in surprise. “You...knew? Why then...?” he whispered and Jimin nodded. “Yes, I knew. Why, then, did I not say anything or why have I stayed your friend?” Yoongi nodded at the latter, he wanted answers for both of those questions but he would take whatever Jimin would give him. Jimin sighed once more, he never realised how broken his friend actually was, and it broke his heart to see it. “Because no matter what, you are who you are, not what your blood status is. Yes, there is prejudice, and I apologise if I've ever made you feel like I would shun you because of this, but I frankly don’t care. My family does, but I don't care what they do either.” Yoongi couldn’t help but laugh, relief washing over him. Jimin didn’t care. It felt as if a rock had been lifted off his chest. Jimin smiled grimly, “I will fight until the end with them if it means I get to live the life I want.” Yoongi nodded in understanding. “Is this about Sunny?” Jimin hummed in agreement. “I will tell my parents after graduation.” Yoongi shuddered, he knew where this was going, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to refuse. “I will consider.” He said and got up to leave; suddenly he wasn’t hungry anymore.

“That is all I am asking of you.” Yoongi smiled grimly at Jimin but didn’t reply. Jimin continued, “And Yoongi, what I just said about not caring what you are? I know Red doesn’t either. So please consider that too.” Yoongi left without uttering another word, his heart pounding in his chest.

The sight of the looming manor made Yoongi stop dead in his tracks, his blood ran cold and he fought the instinct to Disapparate back to his home. He was here for Jimin’s sake, he needed to be there for his friend so with a sigh he dejectedly made his way towards the entrance. With the last bit of his strength he prepared himself to knock, only to be startled when the door opened for him as soon as he raised his hand towards the knocker. Confused, he took a cautious step inside, expecting someone to yell at him for trespassing. When only silence greeted him, he glanced around, taking in the intimidating vastness of the corridor. The mahogany theme of the door continued inside, the tall ceiling supported by wooden beams displaying various carvings. Yoongi took his time observing the paintings displayed above his head, the intricacy and detail told him they were an expensive artifact. Taking a few more hesitant steps, he came face to face with a grand mirror, its frame made out of solid gold and Yoongi couldn’t help but huff at the thought of a Slytherin owning something else apart from silver. But then again, Jimin has never been your usual Slytherin. Before he could wonder further into the house, his ears picked up a murmur carrying over from the right hand side.

Determined to not make himself appear like a muggle, he took a deep breath in and with a determined stance, straightening his back he prepared himself to fully enter enemy territory. He was a lithe person, normally living in the shadows, he was used to not making a sound as he walked. Sometimes that would be a blessing and sometimes it would be a curse. As he approached the location where the voices were coming from he decided it was the former rather than the latter. Turning the corner, his heart stopped for a second. With her back towards him, in full dark green robes, bent over, whispering cautiously to a house elf, stood Red. He hadn’t seen you since that last argument, the two of you making it clear you wanted nothing to do with each other. You played this avoidance game throughout to the end of the year, it wasn’t hard to do so.

With your N.E.W.Ts around the corner, you both got stuck studying for your respective classes. Fortunately for him, aside from Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts you two didn’t share any other classes together. So for the rest of the year, you two didn’t have any unnecessary meetings. At first, Yoongi felt relieved, the way he treated you at that time was a painful memory, not having the chance to face you about it eased his mind. He wasn’t wrong when he told you during your dance at the Yule Ball that he was going to hurt you, you adamantly refused to believe him. That night in the corridor when he degraded your status as a pureblood with all the hatred he could muster, he saw the heartbreak in your eyes. At the time, he couldn’t care less, the painful memories of his childhood completely blinding him, the shame hit him a few hours later when he talked to your cousin. “She has the right to love whomever she wants, what she doesn’t have is a choice to have whomever she wants. Yet, she’s fighting for that choice, and her choice is you. She couldn’t have found a better cause to fight for.”

Those words stayed in his heart until the end of the year, he didn’t know how or when, but he’s slowly come to terms with his feelings. He suspected his talk with Jin about it also helped. Jin, who came to apologise about the situation he put Yoongi through, however, contrary to his first reaction, Yoongi was quick to assure him it didn’t matter. People were bound to find out regardless, it wasn’t as if the situation ended up that way due to Jin’s malicious intent. The discussion with Jin made him realise that people haven’t treated him differently. He’s managed to make friends during these years at Hogwarts, and the friends he’s made liked him for himself, not his status in society. The only people who may have had a real issue with it were the first people to find out, the people who accepted him without a doubt.

At the sight of you, crouched to the House Elf’s level whispering instructions, his gaze softened. You were one of those people, and yet, he treated you horribly. As a Slytherin pureblood you had your faults, pride being one of them, but you’ve never treated anyone differently based on their blood status. You tended to stay away from what would be deemed as ‘impure blood’ but that wasn’t a choice, the rivalries and prejudice between Houses made it difficult to overcome that. Suddenly his ears picked his name out from the conversation and he took a step back, assuring that he was hidden from view.

“Make sure Yoongi doesn’t realise, ok? Honestly, how can he Disapparate in front of the Manor and come knock like a muggle?” Yoongi’s heart clenched at your words, maybe he was wrong, maybe you did avoid him on purpose. Before his thoughts could take over his actions, you carried on, “this family would not only suspect him, but go to the depths of looking into his family history. Make sure no one realises he didn’t Floo himself here, Harvey.” Yoongi unknowingly took a few steps closer to you, his body now in full view. Straightening up, you turned to leave the room when you caught sight of Yoongi’s frozen form.

Your surprised expression instantly turned cold, as you nodded at him in acknowledgement. “Yoongi.” Said man couldn’t find his words to greet you, the discrepancy between your cold words to him and what he’s heard earlier making his head spin. Your face may have been stony cold, but your heart bled for him. You’d missed him- playing the avoidance game had been the hardest thing you’d ever had to do. Seeing him now, looking fresher and healthier than he was the last time you saw him, hurt. Because you knew that it was you who’d managed to bring him to despair. You may have done it subconsciously, or maybe you weren’t even a part of it, but the guilt gnawed at your inside nonetheless. Your world was not healthy for him. You knew that. You shouldn’t have even thought about bringing him into it, this wasn’t a fairytale, and it would never be. You needed to let him go. Defeated, you prepared yourself to leave. But just like Jimin had stopped him that night in the kitchens, Yoongi decided that it was time to stop being a coward. He needed to face his demons, and most importantly he needed to make sure you never left his side again.

“Y/N.” The tone of his voice made you stop abruptly, your eyes widened in panic. This was not meant to happen, you weren’t ready to face him on your own just yet. Putting on the most cordial face you could, you nodded at him in acknowledgment. “Yoongi. How have you been?” He hated it- hated this politeness towards him. Where was the woman who put him in his place more than once? Where was the woman whose pride meant she had to have the last word. “I-Fine.” He was so caught off guard by your behaviour that he found the words he’d prepared stuck in his throat.

Staring at him for a second longer, you nodded. “Well-“ Yoongi knew what you were going to say so with a last surge of courage he plunged. “I love you.” You froze, your brain trying to wrap itself around the confession that Yoongi just hurtled at you. “What?” You whispered, you needed to make sure you heard it correctly. Yoongi took a deep breath in, the cat was already out of the bag, and he would be as truthful with you as he could without drinking any Veritaserum. “I love you, I may not be the best for you, by Merlin, I am not even a possibility for you, but I wanted to let you know. I’ve run away too much, and you were right, I’ve been a coward. But if I want to stand any chance against your family, I need to stop hiding behind my hatred and cowardice.” His words were said with such conviction they brought tears to your eyes. Unknowingly, your feet carried you closer and closer to him, until you broke off into a run, not caring about how unladylike you may have looked. You threw yourself into his arms making him stumble. “I love you.” You whispered into his shirt, the tears flowing down your cheeks washing away the pain you’ve garnered in your heart. There was nothing else exchanged, there was no need to. You both knew how you felt, you both knew the other knew how you felt. You were both aware it will be a tough ride for the both of you, but your hearts were mending and that was all that mattered.

“What about the French bastard?” Yoongi broke out of your hold and looked at you in confusion. “What about him?” Your eyes are twinkling like the night stars, and Yoongi swore he saw galaxies in your smile. “My parents don’t want a son in law who ditches their daughter at a ball.” You chuckled as Yoongi’s eyes widened. “Plus,” you grabbed his hand and led him out of the drawing room towards a grandiose, intricately carved door. Behind it, Yoongi could hear murmurs and he assumed that is where the party was being held. “Jimin can be very convincing when he wants to.” You winked at him playfully.

“Let's hope he’s more than willing to be convincing today too.” Yoongi smirked and he looked at you. “You ready?” At your nod, you both waved your hands whispering Alohomora and watched with your hearts in your throat as the door opened. It was now or never.

As Jimin announced his relationship to Sunny, your hand gripped Yoongi’s subconsciously. Your heart threatened to beat out of your chest in fear. Fear for Jimin and his relationship, but most importantly, fear for yourself and your own chances at a happy relationship with Yoongi. You glanced at said man, he looked terrified as if he was the one under scrutiny, you could notice his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. The silence in the room felt heavy and you turned your attention towards your parents. You knew it was selfish, it was Jimin you should be worried about and yet, all you could think of was the man next to you. The man who managed to brave this manor, and these purebloods despite his adversity to them. All for your cousin. You could see the tick in your parent’s jaw, you could see the tension between Jimin and his father, so thick you could cut it with a knife. No one dared to say anything for a while, and just like that, with the sounds of a platter dropping to the floor the tension was broken like a spell. Everyone’s heads turned towards the source of the noise. There in the middle of the fireplace, stood the fashionably late Taehyung, having Floo’d in straight into a House Elf serving a platter of wine. “My apologies for the lateness!” He exclaimed as he took in the mess he’s managed to create. With a wave of his hand he mumbled “Reverte” under his breath, not giving the House Elf another look as he made his way in between Jimin and his father. “Mr. Park, lovely to see you.” He bows his head in respect, not giving Jimin’s father any time to react, Taehyung turns quickly towards Jimin. “Jimin, you are needed in the Auror Office today as soon as possible.”

If you wouldn’t have known those two rascals from a very young age you would’ve thought it a coincidence, a bloody godsend, but because you have been around them since diapers you didn’t miss the slight turn at the corner of Taehyung’s mouth, or the way Jimin subtly nodded at him. They have planned this from the beginning, and with a small relieved laugh you acknowledge Tae’s greeting with a wave of your hand.

“They planned this all along didn’t they?” Yoongi’s whisper in your ears makes you shudder. Still chuckling to yourself you nod, “of course they did, it’s the double trouble of Hogwarts, well I should say the Auror’s Office now shouldn’t I?” Turning towards him, you don’t miss the amused glint in his eyes. You barely notice the commotion of the party carrying on around you, your fingers intertwined with Yoongi’s, your gazes locked and silly smiles on your faces. If Jimin could do this and get through it, then so could you. You weren’t going to let Outdated Park beat you at that too.

“We will be fine.” You said determinately, a surge of courage and hopefulness running through you. Chuckling at your expression, Yoongi nodded.

“Yes we will, Red, yes we will.” You could get through this, especially if it was with Yoongi by your side, it was all worth it.

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mycouchpullsoutbutidont · 3 years ago

Text

Need to write all this down because I just stared into space for a solid 30 min just dreaming about this scenario / potential fanart comic that I could draw of Ben x Devi (I’ve been obsessing over them for the past couple of days and it’s probably due to me not having good dick since god knows forever)

(Draft)

So the comic will start off with Devi being sort of upset and horny, reminiscing about her interaction with Paxton - maybe a really hot makeout sesh and they’re about to have sex - except last minute, Devi gets cold feet and it’s sexually frustrating for Paxton. So Devi is hella embarrassed and mad at herself for pulling back. She tries to initiate again, but Paxton is just like, “forget it, you’re not ready,” and Devi is like “no, I want it.” And Paxton pauses, looks at her, and shakes his head like “no, you’re not. It’s okay. I don’t want you to feel pressured to do something you’re not ready for.” Which Devi feels insulted by and is terribly sorry. Paxton just smiles and kisses her on the forehead and is like, “I think I should drop you off. It’s getting late.”

End daydream. Devi reels in secondhand embarrassment and is mad at herself for stopping. She vows not to do that again and, of course, in typical Devi fashion, she thinks to herself, “well, if we end up having sex the next time we makeout, I better do my due diligence and research into how to properly have sex.”

And what other way to learn about something than to study up on it?

She begins thinking about how she could do her research. She’s studied anatomy before and knows the basics - the testicles, the glans, urethra, sperm, prostate, yadda yadda. And she’s taken health class and sexual education on how to put on condoms (on bananas- nonetheless - San Fernando valley had pretty liberal sex ed).

But she’s never seen what sex looked like. Never heard it. Never smelled it. Never experienced it from afar or visually.

That’s when she thought of it - porn.

She goes to her room, opens up her laptop, and googles “porn.” Search results pop up, and she catches glimpse of some of the keywords.

“Perky oiled brunette shoves two cocks in both holes”

“Slut sucks slobbers on big veiny dick”

“Curvy sexy ebony rides and squirts before getting facial”

The ache in her groin gnawed even more and—did she just twitch down there? With her blood rushing to her cheeks and between her legs with each horny, perverted word that her eyes came across, her fingers tremble and her body - her breasts - feels like it’s tingling, aching and needing to be roughly handled.

Nervous and horny, she clicks on the first one: porn hub.

She enters a site of orange and black - a pop up window asks if she’s 18 or older. She hesitates, feeling dirty and corrupt. She clicks on enter.

Squares of images lined in a grid populate, organized by category. She skims the words - “Anal”, “BBW,”“Cumshot,” “Compilations”—the list went on and on.

One of the categories catches her eye: “Desi.”

It was both laughable and eye-opening to see that category. A category just for Indian women? She was both amazed and flattered, and for just a brief moment, she wondered if her ancestors could see her.

Her father, she thinks.

Oh god, why is she thinking of him all of a sudden.

Ashamed, she shakes her head, exits out of the window, and closes her laptop. A cool chill runs down her spine, calming her excitement, chilling the pulsating heat that had pooled between her legs. She’s embarrassed for thinking of her dead father and for even thinking of looking up porn. She’s ashamed and pushes her laptop away, now doubly frustrated at herself and for still being sexually pent up. She gets up to grab water in the kitchen, hoping the ice cold water will help temper her aching need.

The doorbell rings.

Devi’s ears perk, and she furrows her brows. Who could this be, she thinks, as she ran down the stairs, walking to the door to peep through the hole.

She gasps, “oh crap.”

It’s Ben!

“Shoot, I forgot!”

Ben was supposed to come over to work on a history project with her - and have dinner, she remembers, since she told her mom and her mom insisted.

“Ah, yes Ben! I remember that boy with the massive pimple on his face who cried in my office!” Devi smirks at Nalini’s comment but then remembers, dammit, why did her mom also want him for dinner?

She opens the door, deepens her frown, a blush creeping on her face as she locks her brown eyes with light blue ones.

“Sup, loser,” Ben says, and Devi almost loses her blush except he smirks, a twinkle in his eye, and a slightly lifted brow. Devi’s eyes trail down over his shirt which clings to his pecs and biceps, and she feels the blush coming back.

And then she notices his strong arms and hair and veins—

“Fuck you,” she says, rolling her eyes, quickly turning her back against him so he doesn’t see her blush harder.

Jeez, what’s wrong with her today? Devi thought (as well as Ben). Why was she so god damn horny?

“What’s your problem, David?” Ben asks. He looks around Devi’s living room. “Where’s your mom?”

Devi shrugs. “Probably at work with her coworkers. Mom’s trying to bring more fun and benefits to motivate them, she claims.”

“Ah, that explains it.” Ben is a little relieved since Devi’s mom was a tough one to please. But, he knew that Nalini had a soft spot for him. (Or, at least he had a 95% confidence level in that thought).

“Actually, kanna, I’m just finish up cooking dinner here with Kamala,” Nalini chimed.

Ben and Devi snapped their heads towards the direction of the kitchen where Nalini and Kamala were cleaning up.

“And if you had helped me like you should have done, you’d know that I was busy cooking up aloo gobi dosas before leaving for my work event later tonight.”

Ben sniffed deeply, the aroma of ghee and asafetida and cumin wafting in the air. How did Devi not notice her mom was cooking with the delicious smells dancing in her home?

“S-sorry mom, I forgot. I just have been feeling a bit out of it today,” Devi replies sheepishly. “Kind of feel hot.” Which was true. Something was terribly wrong with her today for some reason. It felt like there was this growing ache down in her groin that needed to be filled, and with each step she took, every friction against her clit would send shivers of pleasure all over her body.

Before Ben could react, Nalini immediately runs to Devi’s side and places the back of her hand on Devi’s forehead.

“Hm,” Nalini scrunches her brows. “I don’t feel a fever, but you do have a slight blush. Devi, if you’re feeling sick, please don’t get us all sick and go to your room. You should’ve told us and Ben earl—“

“I’m not sick!” Devi blurts, shaking her head. Nalini is taken aback.

“I- I guess,” Devi lowers her voice, trying to come up with an excuse for why she was dickstracted—er, distracted.

“I feel burnt out from studying for AP physics and AP calculus this week,” Devi lies.

“Amateur,” Ben scoffs, smirking. He looks at Devi who snaps to look, looking both mad and flustered, her cheeks tinted slightly redder than normal. It was enough to wipe the smirk off his face. Was she okay?

“I’m not letting you show me up, you jerk!”

Yeah, she was okay, he thought.

“Devi!” Nalini’s jaw fell and she looked like she was about to chew Devi’s face off which terrified Ben.

“N-no, sorry Ms Vishwakumar, that was totally my fault and uncalled for,” Ben cuts in. He looks at Devi who still looks mad at him (but less so, maybe a bit of relief).

“Would it be all right if we study first and then eat dinner?” Ben asks, not sure whether to direct the question to Nalini or Devi first.

“Dinner will get cold,” Nalini warns. “But, I must leave now, so you two can do what you will and whatever regarding dinner.” As she runs towards the door and grabs the keys, Nalini whips her head back and stares daggers at Devi.

“Devi, behave please,” she says through gritted teeth before shutting the door.

Devi sighs in relief and turns to Ben.

“So,” she says, heading towards the stairs. “Let’s get moving. We don’t have much time before dinner gets cold and it’s bedtime.”

Ben nods, walking behind under her. He looks up - damn she has a nice ass - curvy and round. He notices she is wearing a pretty short skirt, and—was that…

Ben blinks twice in disbelief, looking away before looking again. It was no doubt what it was—sticky wet lubricant-like liquid. Running down her inner thigh. Or maybe that’s sweat, he told himself.

Ben blushes. Wow, he felt like such a pervert for staring up her skirt. That and they were going up to her room. To study. Yeah.

(But damn her butt, her curves)

As they enter her room, Ben immediately plops down on the floor, opens his bag quickly, pulls out his AP European history book and notebook, and opening them and flipping through pages (nervously?) and quietly.

“Dude, you’ve been eerily silent this entire time,” Devi torts, and she can’t blame him, can’t blame how nerve wracking it was to have your chiseled (wait shut up Devi) arch nemesis in her room - supposedly a safe haven - to study. Come to think of it, why did she let him in her room? She began to regret her decision, especially when she realized that her nervousness was also turning into heated excitement, her breasts were tingling with desire and even her clit—

“You said you wanted to hurry, so here I am, focused, David,” Ben snaps. He ignores the fact that she’s not wearing a bra and that her tank top isn’t enough to hide her hardened nipples.

(Her cleavage looked so inviting, he dare not stare too long at her tits)

“Actually, for once, you didn’t use your brain and suggest we work downstairs and eat dinner simultaneously instead,” Devi retorted. “Let me just grab my laptop and we can go back downstairs to study and eat dinner at the same time.”

“Don’t put the blame on me for your lack of brain usage,” Ben snapped back, rolling his eyes.

Devi throws a stuffed animal at his head, and he barely dodges it.

“Asshole,” she mutters as she gets on her knees and reaches over her mattress and duvet, grabbing her Macbook.

That’s when Ben saw her soaking wet panties.

Heat rushed from his head to his other head, his cock jumping.

Holy fuck, he thought, is she doing this on purpose? Why did she have to put her ass up like that? Was this intentional? This was a little too cliche, he thought, and porn-like. Girl wearing no bra and apparently soaking wet invites horny boy over to her room and puts her ass in the air while in bed?

“Uh, yeah, yep, sure, that’s probably a better idea,” Ben stammers, trying to ignore his growing boner and grabbing his books. “Lemme just stuff—“

(Those boobs)

“—these boo….ooks. Books. In my bag.” He pushes the last book in his backpack and zips it up.

Oh dear god, did she notice his almost Freudian slip?

He glances over at her, and she’s got a raised brow. “Uh, okay, weirdo, did you just almost say boobs?” Devi says.

“What, no?” Ben says. “You weird pervert.”

“Don’t lie! I saw you staring at my boobs! You’re the pervert!”

“What kind of crap are you projecting onto me for? I’m innocent!”

“You’re like the least innocent person I know!”

“That’s definitely not true,” Ben scoffs. “And even if it was, it’s better than being an Unfuckable Nerd.”

That did it. That was the straw on the camel’s back. Devi was enraged, insulted, and sexually frustrated. Ben had dug into a deep insecurity of hers, a wound that she desperately wanted to heal and prove herself out of. For all her life, she had never felt desirable, never had a boy flirt with her or ask her out or even given her attention. When Ben first called her an “Unfuckable Nerd,” she didn’t show how painful the sting of his insult was to her lonely heart. She did not want to be the forever nerdy virgin who was seen as sexually undesirable and —god forbid—ugly.

(Was that why Paxton pushed her away, she thought briefly?)

“Shut up!” she yells before chucking her laptop at him. She misses by a meter (thank god her eye hand coordination was god awful), but she’s not sure if she was even intending on hitting him with the laptop. Still, the moment the laptop flew out of her hands and onto her carpeted floor (with a nice thud), Ben knew he had made a huge mistake. And so did Devi (though she dare not be the first one to admit that she was wrong).

Except she was really wrong this time.

“Devi!” Ben exclaimed. “I’m—“

“Oh fuck Ben, I’m—“

“So sorry.”

Both Ben and Devi apologized simultaneously, with heavy regret and a tint of fear in their voices.

“N-no, I crossed the line, Devi,” Ben said. “It’s really…misogynistic and objectifying of me to call you Unfuckable.”

Because you’re quite the opposite, he thought.

Devi acknowledged internally the apology, but it still stung painfully in her heart. She wanted to let him know that it still hurt.

(Especially hearing that term from him).

Still, she knew she was also incredibly at fault for almost injurying Ben.

“I’m also sorry, I really…really should’ve not thrown my laptop at you. I could’ve injured you really badly.” Devi dropped down to her knees, getting down to Ben’s level since he was still on the floor, a bit shaken by her throwing her laptop at him.

“I guess I deserved it,” he said. He looked over at the laptop on the ground.

“But if you did break it, don’t expect me to pay for a new one,” he said with a smirk.

Devi rolled her eyes. “I’m not your sugar baby; I wasn’t expecting you to pay for a new one.” She crawls towards her MacBook (Ben consciously looking away since she’s on her knees again) and opens it, praying to herself that it was still functioning.

She tapped on her keyboard multiple times.

Blank screen.

“Oh fuck,” she whispered. She kept tapping on the keys of the keyboard.

No response.

“Crap!” Devi hissed. “Oh no, no no no!” She was sort of panicking. “I knew this would happen.”

“So why did you throw the laptop then?” Ben slyly asked.

“Not. Helpful. Ben.”

Ben scoots closer to Devi, wraps his arm around her—

Devi is shocked, his graze making her melt into his touch, sending the pent up frustration and heat back to her ache and pussy—

But, Ben was only merely reaching around to press down on her laptop’s button for a couple of seconds before the lock screen shone back on.

Oh, Devi thought, a feeling of defeat and disappointment settling in her chest. He wasn’t hugging her.

But, hey her laptop’s alive.

“Oh thank god,” she says, breathing a sigh of relief before turning to him - wow he’s somehow pretty close to her face and body and oof, his proximity sets a fire across her entire body —

“Consider yourself lucky. Looks like you don’t have to buy me a new laptop,” she says, smirking.

Ben scoffs.

“In your dreams, David.”

Oddly enough, Ben’s arm is still wrapped around her, his presence warm and enveloping. Devi is tempted to lean into it but knows better (especially not now when she has been hot and bothered all day).

She types her password in her Lock Screen, hits enter, and gasps in horror as she realized that she didn’t properly close out her browser full of porn -

(which is now blasting moans of cam girls fucking the selves with sex toys all thanks to livejasmin)

“Oh shit!” Devi immediately slams her screen shut again.

But it was too late.

Ben’s brows shoot up, eyes widening and jaw dropping in guffaw. A laugh of disbelief escapes from his throat.

“Holy crap! And you called ME the pervert?” Ben laughs. “Who’s the pervert now?”

But damn, wow, he’s turned on.

He tightens his arm around Devi in a proper hug now, pressing her closer to him, and leans in, an inch from her ear, whispering —

“You’re a dirty girl”—

Before pressing his lips on hers.

#ben gross #devi vishwakumar #ben x devi #never have i ever #fanfic #devi x ben #nhie #mycouchpullsoutbutidont

19 notes · View notes

pasteljeon · 5 years ago

Text

white chocolate (m) | heartbeat 2

series index.

summary | how is it they know you so well already?

warnings | sub!jungkook, handjobs, soft gguk, some angst

length | 4.9k

notes | hello! super overdue, i know :( but please enjoy, and let me know what you think of this chapter <3 if you’d like to be added to the tag list, please dm me or leave a comment :”)

“You look like you haven’t slept properly in days.”

“No, I just have a natural resting bitch face,” you deadpan. Ahri raises an eyebrow unflinchingly. You wave her off immediately. “Seriously, I’m fine.”

She remains unconvinced, but there’s not much she can do from cities away except send you virtual care packages (read: texts). She’s fully suited up for the day, and you watch absently from her bustle around from where your laptop is propped up on the counter as you drown your poorly shaped pancakes in maple syrup.

“Alright, well. Keep me updated on the roomies situation, and remember to drink plenty of water,” Ahri orders as she finishes applying her lipstick. She checks the screen to ensure there’s no smearing and then she’s buttoning her jacket.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll let you know if one of them suddenly decides to expose their daddy kink,” you say dryly as you stab your sad excuse for brunch. Ahri perks up. “Rea—”

“No.”

“Okay, but real talk for a second – I heard Jungkook—”

“Go to work,” you chirp, flashing her a smile before you promptly jab the call button.

“Holy shit,” you mutter, closing your laptop.

A jangling of keys interrupts your thought, head snapping up at the sound.

“Jungkook?”

He freezes, halfway to his room already. His gym bag hangs off his shoulder. Oh … Oh.

“H-hi, n-noona,” he mumbles. He refuses to meet your gaze, back muscles tensing through his sweat-soaked shirt. “W-what’s up?”

Oh … he looks …

You imagine the resemblance to the bedroom would be uncanny. You press your thighs together, trying to shake off the feeling. No, you remind yourself. As tempting as it is, anything other than friendship could greatly jeopardize the harmony of this place.

“Do you want something to eat?” You offer instead. You’re relieved when your voice remains steady.

“A-ah, that’s okay noona, I-I’ll grab something later,” Jungkook says hastily as he begins to climb the stairs.

“And risk heart disease with the amount of cholesterol you’d intake with all that greasy food after you’ve just worked out? Hell no,” you retort sternly.

He pauses at the top of the spiral staircase, and you tilt your chin up to catch him rubbing the back of his neck guiltily.

“O-okay,” he says hesitantly. “T-thank you, noona. I-I’ll be down in a few mins, I just need to take a shower.”

He bounds into his room in one leap and snaps the door shut quietly before you can respond.

You close your mouth, blinking. “Uh. Alright, then.”

It hurts.

Jungkook groans, squeezing himself hard as he doubles over, bag tossed to the corner and shirt all but ripped off.

His knees sink into the mattress, other hand gripping his covers tightly as he strokes himself.

His cock has been half-hard since he woke, the lingering ache of a pleasurable dream spiking his arousal.

Every touch is uncharacteristically heightened, even more so than usual, given how sensitive he is.

Shakily reaching for the bottle of lube on the counter, he pours a generous amount on his palm. His hand, rough and covered in calluses, is cool where he thumbs the slit of his cock. Jungkook sucks in a breath.

The chances of meeting you at this exact time was slim – so slim he hadn’t anticipated you standing there, looking so effortlessly beautiful despite how tired you were. Despite his urge to cup your cheeks and kiss those dark circles under your gorgeous eyes, his dick twitched at the sight.

He couldn’t turn around – the sizable tent in his sweats would have been a dead giveaway.

“N-noona,” he whimpers.

A thin sheen of sweat coats his skin, his other hand skimming the crevices of his stomach, pushing the fabric down further until he was kneeling on the bed, spine arched as he increases the speed.

His wrist aches, but he’s so close he can taste it —

Fuck.

Jungkook’s going to cry.

Embarrassment and horror flushes through him. His expression is panicked, doe eyes blown out and wide. His fully erect cock, reddened tip dripping precum, is gripped tightly in his hand.

And you are staring right at him.

“N-n-noona,” he squeaks. He’s appalled at the way the syllables are forced out, his tone edging hysteria.

You close your eyes. And open them.

Yep, that’s Jeon Jungkook alright. On his knees, thick, muscled thighs spread wide and his long, thick cock weeping beautifully in his grasp.

“Well,” you say, after a pregnant pause, leaning against the doorframe. “Go on, since you’ve been begging so sweetly.”

“I—I …,” he’s floundering, shocked, but his erection doesn’t falter. If anything, you think he’s growing even harder at the prospect. It’s interesting how, despite the way his arm jerked upon realization of your presence, as if to move to cover himself, he remains completely bare to you.

He swallows, mouth suddenly dry as you watch him, mouth curled into a lilting smile.

You push yourself off, stepping in and shutting the door firmly behind you.

The firm click of the lock has him tensing in anticipation as you stalk toward him.

You don’t touch him, just slide onto the bed, your legs bracketing his, the heat of your body making his breath catch in his throat.

“Lie down, baby.” He obeys immediately, dark locks spilling across the comforter. His chest rises and falls rapidly, his chiselled body beckoning you closer, but you simply hover over him, arms caging him in.

Your hair falls over him like a silk curtain, tickling his cheeks as your lips brush the shell of his ear. “Is this okay?”

Jungkook looks like he’s about to faint, cheeks colouring and eyelids fluttering shut. He nods furiously, unable to speak.

“I need to hear it, baby boy.” Your breath is warm, skin prickling pleasantly at the feeling.

“A-ah, y-yes,” he mewls.

“Touch yourself.”

You withdraw slowly, rising until you’re resting on your knees above him. Jungkook looks absolutely wrecked already, and you marvel that he truly is an extraordinary specimen, so deliciously muscular and broad yet so willing to submit. The need to feel small.

He moans, the shame escaping him as he starts stroking himself again, cock so generously coated with precum and lube that the slide is seamless. His pace quickens as he gains momentum, the other hand slipping below to fondle his balls.

“Such a dirty boy,” you croon. “Jerking yourself off in front of your noona. You enjoy it, don’t you? Having me watch you come undone, begging so prettily.”

“… me.”

“What’s that?” You drawl. Jungkook pants, practically vibrating as he pleads, “Touch me. Please. P-please, noona. I’m so close.”

His eyes are glossy, eyelashes wet and lips cherry bitten. His spine bows, head tossing from side to side in agony.

Your nails dig into his chest, scraping his nipples. You pinch them lightly as you lean over him once more to murmur, “come.”

Jungkook stills. He lets out a weak cry, voice hoarse and fraught as he explodes. He writhes beneath you, eyes rolling back and back arching as he milks himself. He collapses when he’s done, body melting into the mattress, boneless.

Cum paints his abdomen, stains your shirt and you hum, scoping it up and popping a finger into your mouth thoughtfully.

Jungkook peeks up at you in exhaustion, groaning at the erotic sight. “Noona, please. I don’t think my dick can take any more,” he whimpers.

You smile fondly, brushing his damp locks back as you press a soft kiss to his temple. “Thank you, Kookie.”

“N-noona,” his hand shoots up to grasp your wrist loosely as you move to get up. “I … I don’t … usually do this. I’m a … I’m clean,” he flushes darkly, neck colouring as he glances away shyly.

“… I don’t want to get your hopes up, Kook,” you say ruefully. Your smile is crooked, wistful. You squeeze his hand firmly. “I like you, I do. I think you’re sweet and compassionate and that’s why I’ll never be good for someone like you.” Too innocent, too easily corrupted.

“That’s not true,” he protests immediately. He meets your gaze earnestly. “You’re honest and kind and thoughtful. I know it.”

“I don’t want to break your heart,” you reply softly. “You deserve so much.” More.

“Then I’ll chase you,” Jungkook says, determined. His brows are knitted, lips pursed.

You chuckle, expression unwittingly warm as you lean in to kiss the corner of his eye. “Baby, I’m no good for you.”

“You’re wrong, noona,” he shakes his head furiously. He’s glowing. He’s resolved. “And I’m gonna prove it to you. Just wait. You’ll fall for me.”

I know. “Wash up,” you say instead, patting his cheek as you rise. “I made lunch.”

You wait until you hear him twist the knob and step in the shower before you leave, the steam curling around your wrist as you shut the door quietly.

“___-noona.”

“Taehyung,” you flinch at the familiar baritone of the photography major, turning around slowly. You bare him a smile. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

He looks windswept, raking a hand over the curls falling over his eyes. A camera hangs over his neck, his English hat askew over his head. He looks like he stepped off a freaking runway. His fashion sense is impeccable, as per usual, you muse, maybe a tad fonder than you would’ve liked.

“Hi. Uh, yeah. The stove was on and I rushed upstairs because I was worried,” Taehyung chuckles, glancing at where your hand rests on the doorknob. Something flickers in his gaze, but it’s gone before you can ascertain what it is.

“Ah, yeah. Jungkook came back and I wanted to ask him something, so,” you shrug.

You wait with bated breath for the inevitable question that you know teeters on the tip of his tongue, though you should’ve realized Taehyung isn’t one to barge into unrelated business. He doesn’t ask despite the obvious curiosity that lingers in the way he peers at you.

“About last week … Did I … did I say something weird when I was sick? I can’t remember anything, but Jin-hyung mentioned you asked something about it,” he says instead. His grip on the strap tightens and you tilt your head.

“… Not really,” you say eventually. “You were pretty out of it. Don’t worry, you didn’t embarrass yourself too much. Nothing tweet worthy, anyway.”

“Oh.” Taehyung exhales, the relief flooding through his veins so palpable you frown. “Are you okay? Do you have some dark secret you’re scared of accidentally spilling or something?” You joke.

He laughs, flashing you a wry smile as he takes off his camera. “Would it surprise you if I did?”

You shake your head. Don’t want to know. “Hungry?” Stepping past him, you make your way down the spiral staircase briskly.

Taehyung’s left standing at the top, watching you with an unreadable expression. “Always,” he calls.

He wants to chuck his camera over the railing.

“What did you do?”

Jungkook starts, shirt halfway over his head. He tugs it down, calmly taking a seat on his bed as he pulls on a pair of socks. His heart is thrumming at his throat. He swallows.

“Nothing, hyung. What happened?” Before he can fully twist around, Taehyung’s standing in front of him, hazel irises blazing.

“How could you do this, Jungkook? I trusted you. You promised!” His voice breaks and Jungkook think he’s drowning. It hurts, knowing his hyung is hurting.

“I-I’m sorry,” Jungkook whispers. His gaze drops, guilt causing his shoulders to hunch in. “It’s just – we’ve waited so long to see her again, to meet her again … I was – I was weak. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, hyung,” he buries his face in his hands, shaking. He’s an idiot. He couldn’t have waited? God, he’s despicable.

“We made a pact, Ggukie. Please, it’s not fair to the rest of us if you do things like this,” Taehyung pleads, kneeling and prying his hands away. Jungkook hiccups, cheeks wet as he nods. “I-I know. I’m sorry. I couldn’t control myself, she caught me and I couldn’t resist her, she’s just so beautiful and – and I love her, hyung!” He groans.

“I know, I know,” the older fusses over him, wiping his tears and wrapping him in a tight hug. Jungkook sniffles, settling as he whispers, “I really am sorry. I’ll stay away, I promise.”

“Thank you,” Taehyung says, pulling away. “Just for now, okay? We’ll tell her soon, when the others are ready. When she’s ready. I promise.”

Jungkook nods, fingers knotting the hem of his shirt. “Yeah. Okay.”

Jungkook hardly speaks another word the entire meal, save to express his gratitude. He avoids your probing gaze and eats silently. He scarfs down his food, finishing quickly, washing his dishes despite your insistence he doesn’t need to, and disappears back into his room within half an hour.

You prop your chin up with a hand, eyebrow raised as you sip at your cup. “So. Mind telling me what you said to him?”

Taehyung shifts uncomfortably, chopsticks poking at the sad piece of kimchi curled up in the corner of his bowl. “Ah … he’s just embarrassed you caught him earlier,” he mumbles into his soup.

“He told you?” You nearly spit out your water in shock. As it is, the photography major chuckles ruefully, reaching over with a surprisingly gentle hand as he wipes the water from the corner of your lip with his thumb.

There’s something tender in his smile, and something wistful in his expression. Something soft in the way he tilts his head and gazes at you. Maybe it’s the way the sunlight strikes his face at the exact angle because his dark eyes glow, like molten chocolate. The type you’d dip a strawberry into and savour for countless moments after, for the perfect combination of tart and sweet. Taehyung has always been extraordinarily handsome, but you’ve never taken much notice to it until now.

Those tousled curls, the strong jaw line, the boxy grin. But you’re not a fool. Like Jimin, you know he has his own … filters.

It is unwise to fall for someone like him. You’re not compatible. You know this because you’ve tried … once.

“We tried, Tae. It didn’t work, remember?” You whisper, taking his hand. He automatically shakes his head, flipping his palm up to weave his fingers through yours. He’s always been so much bigger than you. You used to feel safe with him.

You hate how he still makes you feel that way despite all this time. Despite everything. His grip is firm, his touch warm. Familiar.

“Please don’t,” you say, but your protest sounds weak, even to your own ears. “I can’t go through this all over again.”

“I know. It was my fault. It wasn’t fair to you, the way I kept all my feelings locked up. I’m sorry. Though I wish we would’ve talked about it after,” he says. He sounds honest now, and you hate it. It makes your chest ache a little at the mention. You’re over it—you are. But sometimes the memories can be a haunting reminder. It’s hard to simply toss away years of what were once precious moments shared with someone you thought was your ‘forever.’

“There wasn’t much to talk about,” you respond dryly. Your arm is limp in his hold. “We just weren’t good for each other. We didn’t work.”

His thumb strokes the back of your hand slowly. “You’re wrong. You were the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You still are. We just didn’t try hard enough. I should’ve never let you go.”

His voice suddenly sounds so honeyed. Airy, despite the low timbre that doesn’t quite match his sharp features. Like he’s sharing an old wound, one that’s scabbed over a million times, but he can’t help picking at until it bled and bled and the scar that forms is thrice as large as it should’ve been.

“Well,” you say after a beat, gently twisting out of his grip. You dump your untouched meal into your bowl, collecting the plates before standing. You flash him a half-hearted smile. “Then it’s too bad you did, isn’t it?”

He’s left with his fingers curled around empty air, heart heavy and stomach roiling. He thinks he can hear the blood dripping from his ribcage, hear the sound of something within him cracking. Love is a lie, lie / don’t tell me bye, bye.

He thinks he’s never going to be able to tell you the truth. And that hurts more than anything else.

It’s a Saturday for crying out loud. The week you’ve just had was borderline atrocious and all you want to do is curl up in bed and watch Netflix, equipped with a steaming mug of tea, wrapped in your fluffy blankets and cuddling your giant bunny plush. You’re not asking for much, really.

“Hello, Namjoon.”

Instead, here you are.

He looks up, startled, as you slide into the seat across him. And then he smiles. “___. I didn’t think you’d come, truthfully.”

At a small, quant café across the science building. It’s rather empty today, the occasional cluster of students wandering in to order bundles of drinks. You’ve been here a thousand times and still you can never find the words to express just how much life this tiny space has sucked out of you. After last semester, you swore you’d never be back.

And yet, here you are. The joy.

“Don’t,” you warn, shaking out your hair as you take off your hat. “Don’t start. I’m just here to hear you out.”

“There’s something you should know,” he starts, faltering briefly at your stern expression. He rakes a hand through his hair, pushing up his glasses impatiently, and it occurs to you this is the first time you’ve ever seen him so stressed and wrung out. “About us …”

“Namjoon, please. You asked me to keep it a secret, and I did,” you answer flatly. Did you seriously drag yourself out of bed for this? You really don’t need another rehash of one of your life’s greatest mistakes. He’s fiddles with his drink, untouched and likely lukewarm at this point.

At your pointed look, he moves to rummage through his messenger bag, and pulls out a plain manila envelope.

Namjoon hesitates, mouth downturned as he says quietly, “The results came through. You’re innocent. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”

You raise an eyebrow, snorting in disbelief when he doesn’t react. “You’re serious. Wow. Colour me shocked. Well,” you deadpan, rising to your feet, “This was fun, but the only person that didn’t know was you. Now please don’t ask to see me like this again. I said we were done, and I meant it. Goodbye, Namjoon.”

The bell rings timidly as you disappear through the door, Namjoon watching as you walk away, each step a harsh reminder of how badly he’s fucked up.

And the worst part is that he doesn’t think he can fix it. There’s no making right something like this.

He downs his coffee and stands. He’s always been a failure anyway. What difference does this really make? Sliding the folder back into his bag, he slings it over his shoulder and nods at the owner on his way out.

Bad, bad bye / don’t say goodbye.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Hell. No,” you emphasize, crossing your arms, determined to stand your ground. She pouts, clasping her hands together.

“Yes!” Ahri cries, pulling at your sweater. She adamantly ignores your glare as she riffles your closet. “It’s my only free night back. Please, please, let’s go out! Have a night of fun! I’m so tired of filing tax returns and staring at Excel sheets. I need a break and by the looks of it, so do you.” She turns to give you an appraising look and you groan, flopping onto your bed.

The ceiling is unimaginably unhelpful, so you sit up with a sigh.

“Fine,” you say, but before she can open her mouth, beaming, you hold up a hand. “No boy talk. We are not discussing them or anyone else tonight. Just fun. We can talk about anything else. Deal?”

Your best friend visibly deflates at the thought but acquiesces reluctantly before returning to her hunting.

Finally, she whirls around with a flourish, grinning widely. You eye her warily, not quite liking the evil glint in her orbs. You groan when she brandishes a two-piece you don’t think you’ve broken out in months, probably.

She cheers, hugging you tightly. “It’s going to be great, promise.”

You take the proffered outfit, lips pursed doubtfully. “It better be,” you grouch. “After the week I just had, I’m about ready to throw myself into a floor of lava.”

Ahri pats your back, grinning. “You just need a good dicking down. Trust me.”

The club is inordinately crowded.

The bass booms in the background, reverberating through your body and echoing with every expansion of your chest. Voices are muted in the sea of sound, Ahri eagerly tugging you along as she effortlessly weaves through the throng.

“Hey guys,” you offer them a bland, knowing smile as your friends chorus your name back at you. They seem genuinely excited to be here tonight, to let loose for a few odd hours, and so despite your initial misgivings, you sit and order a drink.

You like social interaction, yes, but after the week you’ve just had, you’d much rather be curled up in bed. But then you glance to the seat next to you to see Ahri laughing and talking animatedly.

“So, ____,” you turn to see a familiar face. “You came.”

“Yuto-sunbae,” you say, pleasantly surprised. He looks great, cheeks lightly flushed, alcohol already circulating his system.

“Dance with me?” He extends a hand.

“Before my martini arrives? How scandalous,” you joke, accepting his offer as he pulls you to his feet.

“You look like you could use some fun,” Yuto teases, coaxing you to the dance floor. You give him an exasperated look, to which he pointedly ignores, sliding your arms over his neck.

“Dance with me,” he says again, eyes imploring. With an exaggerated sigh, you take his hands and put them on your waist.

“Lead the way,” you answer, smiling crookedly.

Jungkook grimaces, uncomfortably pressed against strangers as he fights his way through the crowd, letting out a relieved sigh as he spots them.

“Kook,” Jimin beams, standing to let him in. Jungkook gives him a grateful smile as he shuffles into the cushions next to the group.

“C’mon, maknae,” Taehyung says, patting his thigh as Yoongi slides him a mug of familiar liquid. The composer is already nursing a half-empty glass of his own, not appearing even remotely buzzed.

“Do we have to be here right now?” Jungkook asks, sipping at the concoction. His nose wrinkles, the burn particularly strong tonight.

“Yes, because you’ve been moping all day and you need to get out. Some sunlight, fresh air, you know,” Jimin waves his hand. Jungkook watches as he pours another shot of vodka.

“You, or me?” The youngest remarks dryly as he pushes away the drink.

“Guys,” Hoseok cuts in before Jimin can protest. “Is that … ___?”

Fifteen minutes of staring and stalking your elegant figure twirling through the swarm of people, and they’re drunk.

Yoongi huffs, watching as the other boys make fools of themselves, falling on top of each other as they slur song lyrics like they’re waxing poetry.

With the sole exception of a certain graphic design student. Yoongi keeps one eye on the mess of bodies on the table and the other on the bathroom door Jungkook disappeared into some minutes ago.

“I’m dancing too,” Seokjin announce suddenly, sounding shockingly coherent as he stands. He only sways lightly, slapping away any help, and Yoongi reluctantly sits back, nodding.

“Keep your ringer on,” is all he says. Where the eldest is going, he’ll be able to hear it loud and quick, Yoongi thinks wryly. Seokjin dismisses his concerns and quickly melds into the crowd. Logically, the music major knows the Masters student can handle himself, given his age and experience, but he can’t help but still worry.

Taking another rich swing of his drink, he returns to babysitting and bunny watching.

“Hi gorgeous,” a deep, raspy voice ghosts across the shell of your ear.

You’d lost sight of Yuto a while ago, the boy having been whisked off by a brunette earlier. You were content swaying alone, sweaty bodies pressed against you. By now, you’re agreeably tipsy.

“May I?” You can feel the heat of him, warm and strangely comforting. At your nod, his hands tentatively resting on your hips. They’re a welcome weight.

“And they say chivalry is dead,” you murmur. It’s not loss on the newcomer, head tilted down and lingering at the juncture of your neck. You know he’s tall, much taller than you, with the way you gingerly lean into him, upper back meeting the cold metal of his belt.

“I’m nothing if not a gentleman,” he answers. His voice is so smooth, like a glass of aged wine.

You move to turn, but he stops you gently. “You might not like what you see.” For the first time, his tone breaks a little, uncertainty and a tinge of fear edging it.

“I don’t care,” you say, gripping his hand and pivoting on your heels.

His eyes are downcast, bangs covering his expression. You know him, those broad shoulders and thick lips. That beautiful, half-smile he sports.

“Are you sure you want this?”

“I don’t care,” you repeat, cupping his cheeks. A blush rises, complexion reddening lightly. Uncharacteristic of him, thought you suspect it is actually more him than anything else he pretends to be.

His mouth is hot and unbelievably soft, arms drawing you close as he runs his tongue over the seam of your lips.

“Come with me?” He asks quietly, smiling shyly as he tucks a strand behind your ear. You press your forehead against his. “Yeah.”

You laugh into his kiss as he elbows the door open, unable to pull your hands away from each other as they roam the firm expanse of his chest, the first few buttons of his dress shirt torn open, exposing that lovely golden skin you’ve been craving.

“Jessica-noona, please—”

Pulling away at the eerily recognizable voice, it takes you a moment to register what you’re seeing.

A pregnant pause fills the now exceedingly claustrophobic space as Jungkook’s eyes widen, staring at you with panic filled orbs.

“Ah. Sorry, didn’t know this was occupied already,” you say after a beat. You don’t waver, flashing them an apologetic, tight-lipped smile as you close the door, pulling your momentary lover with you.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” he blurts immediately when you find a secluded corner. It’s cute, the way he’s anxiously fretting over it.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it,” you assure him. You smooth your hands over his front, trying your best to fix his dishevelled appearance.

“Hey. Hey, what’s wrong?” He tips your chin up, and you hate the concern in his expression.

“I’m fine. I don’t feel very well, though,” you say regretfully. You give him a small but genuine smile. He allows you to slip away from his grasp hesitantly.

“Please drink plenty of water and rest up,” he murmurs, kiss the crown of your head. “I’m sorry the night couldn’t have ended on a more positive note.”

“Thank you,” you say, squeezing his hand gratefully. You take one last look wistfully, at those deliciously swollen lips and mussed locks, before disappearing back into the crowd.

[11:49] you: not feeling well :( drank too much. heading out, enjoy your night everyone <3

You leave Kim Seokjin standing there, the neon lights flickering over his silhouette as he watches you leave.

You’re going to go home and try your best to scrub the image of Jungkook with his dick in another woman’s mouth.

“Hey.” A cool, firm hand shakes you out of your daze.

“Oh.” You blink. “Yoongi. Hi.” Just your luck. You guess everyone’s here tonight.

The night is cold, a chilling breeze ruffling your hair.

He doesn’t ask if you’re okay, or how you’re doing. His gaze is unsettling, eyes sharp and almost knowing. He doesn’t say much at all, really.

He just gives you his leather jacket, telling you to be careful and to be safe tonelessly.

He shoves his hands in his pockets and trudge back into the building.

Your Uber arrives before you can say anything more, however.

So you shrug it off, resolving to thank him the next morning, and step into the vehicle.

“Idiots, all of you,” Yoongi seethes, whirling around to glare at the three boys that sit on the couch, awkwardly pressed together as they looked away.

“Joon, how could you possibly think a folder and an apology was going to solve the problem?”

Namjoon shrinks, dropping his gaze in shame. “I—I …”

“And you! Jungkook, how could you do that? You effectively acted like some—some uncultured fratboy!” He fumes. The boy in question has his jaw clenched, fingers curled into fists as he stares at his lap.

“Jin-hyung,” Yoongi whirls onto the eldest. He puts up a hand instantly. “That’s enough, Yoongi. We all know where we messed up. What you’re doing here isn’t constructive. Now, the real question is: how can we fix this?”

#smutcentralnet #ksmutclub #ggukienet #btsguild #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #sub!jungkook #taehyung x reader #jimin x reader #yoongi x reader #hoseok x reader #namjoon x reader #jin x reader #ot7 x reader #poly bts #btsghostie #college au

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leviackermanscleaningbuddy · 4 years ago

Text

BTS DRABBLE-One-Shot

Request: Poly!BTS Mafia AU

Tags: BTS, Bangtan, Bangtan Boys, Bangtan Seonyendan, Bulletproof Boyscouts, Beyond the Scene, BTS Drabble, Request, my asks, my requests, BTS fluff, Poly!BTS, Mafia AU, BTS x you, BTS x reader, Kim seokjin, min yoongi, jung hoseok, kim namjoon, park jimin, kim taehyung, jeon jungkook

Genre: Fluff

Title: Improbable, Not Impossible

The mafia is a dangerous place.

And this party, thrown by just the man you’re hoping to see, is a close second.

You lift your glass of rose to your lips, and careful not to smear your deliberately applied lipstick, you take a sip, discerning eyes scanning the sea of sharply dressed men and their overly primped wives.

It’s no secret that getting a meeting with the boss is a hard trick to pull.

But that’s exactly what you’re here to do tonight.

It’s all a matter of getting close to the boss’s inner circle, and you have never found that particularly hard to do.

A smirk creases your lips, hidden behind the dewy glass of your wine flute.

“You know,” A man slides into the seat at the bar next to you, and motions for the bartender to pour him a glass. “You really shouldn’t bring weapons to these sort of things, sweetheart.”

Speak of the devil.

You take another long sip of your drink, and glance at him out of the corner of your eye-dressed tonight in a cream suit that shows off his tan skin perfectly, dark brown hair pushed off his brow, accented by the glasses he wears delicately across his nose.

Kim Seokjin. UnderBoss.

Though he doesn’t look at you, his hand slides down in between your two seats, and his fingers trace up the skin of your calf, revealed through the high slit of your evening gown, his movements stopping just dangerously short of your thigh. He plucks out the concealed dagger, and raises a brow at you, a slightly twisted smirk crossing his full pink lips. “You promised me you’d show a little extra decorum this time around.”

You reach out, plucking the lit cigarette from between his lips before he can protest, and snuffing it out in the nearby ash tray, you shrug, offering him a smirk in return, as you settle back into your chair once more, crossing your legs delicately at the ankles. “And you promised me you’d quit smoking. Yet here we are.”

Seokjin laughs, a charming, deep sound within his chest, and reaches out for his drink, eyeing you over the rim as you reach out to straighten his crimson tie. “Enjoying the party then?”

You shrug again, carefully passing your eyes over the room once more, before you refocus on the right hand man at your side. “I’d much rather have this meeting done and over with so I can go home.” You quip back honestly, knowing Seokjin will find your starkness refreshing.

He chuckles again, setting his glass down, before he leans toward you, and boldly sweeping his fingers across your cheekbone, he holds your gaze momentarily, as he says quietly beneath the music, “That’s what I’ve always liked about you. You never bullshit anyone, sweetheart.”

His fingertips, making contact with your skin for just one moment longer, leave the place they were resting tingling as he finally pulls back from you, and holding aloft his glass toward you, he offers you a handsome grin, as he declares, “A toast then. That you’ll get your meeting sooner rather than later.”

You laugh lightly, and clink your glass with his.

He downs the rest of his bourbon, and standing up with a sigh, he leans over to brush a kiss softly across the back of your knuckles, and with a look of acute disappointment, he complains, “Well, duty calls. Enjoy the party, sweetheart.”

And with that, Seokjin winks at you and with one last glance back in your direction, he disappears back into the sea of party goers once more.

Leaving the bar behind you after you finish your drink, you scan the room, wondering what to do next, when a familiar blank face catches your attention from the corner of your eye, and with a hidden smile to yourself, you weave through the raucous crowd of mafia, finally reaching the quiet corner of the hall where he stands.

“Are you as bored as you appear?” You ask coyly, leaning against the wall beside the man, not looking at him, as you follow his gaze across the sea of merriment.

Min Yoongi. Enforcer.

“Hah.” Yoongi lets out an unamused bark of laughter at your question, his eyes never leaving the dance floor, as his hand absentmindedly fingers the gun, snug in its holster, at his belt, just barely hidden beneath the sweeping tail of his suit coat. “You’re one to talk.” He glances at you briefly, for not more than a second, eyebrows raised and lips pulled into a thin line. “Don’t you get bored of wining and dining the many men you cater to?”

“Hmmm.” You hum under your breath, a hint of a smirk crossing your lips. “I suppose I do.”

You turn toward him, one shoulder still pressed into the wall, and reaching out, cover his long fingers with your own, as you push aside his hand and adjust the holster on his hip, before reaching up to straighten the lapels of his suit, the jacket patterned with gold print against the black, as you say with soft amusement, “Seokjin found my knife. He lectured me about my lack of decorum and bringing weapons to a party such as this.”

Yoongi stares down at you, as you move your hands to his tie now, straightening the red fabric just like you had done with Seokjin’s, and then he clears his throat, replying under his breath, “He’s right you know. What do you think I’m here for?”

“To look pretty?” You ask innocently, as you pause in your movements and glance up at him through your eyelashes.

“Bullshit.” Yoongi brushes your hands off of him, refocusing on the dance floor, his fingers once again falling to the weapon at his side, and when he speaks again, it is hurried words beneath his breath that you barely catch. “Besides, you’re the pretty one here.”

“What?” You ask, leaning toward him, teasingly motioning to your ear, as you say loudly over the music, “What did you say, Yoongi?”

“I said you’re the shitty one here.” Yoongi retorts, a slight red hue lighting the caramel skin of his cheeks, as he swallows and looks anywhere but at you. “Now leave me alone and let me do my job.”

You laugh, but do as he asks, leaving him alone with one more knowing glance over your shoulder, as you once more make your way into the crowds.

Making your way back to the bar for another glass of wine, you notice as you approach that there is a group of women gathered around someone, fanning themselves, lips pulled back into overly friendly smiles, as they listen to whatever the person on the inner circle is saying with complete and utter rapture on their faces.

And when you catch sight of who they’re giving all their attention to, you instantly understand why.

“Look, I can get you anything. Rubies, diamonds, emeralds, pearls.” The man in the gray suit is saying, wildly gesturing with his hands, his bow tie flopping with his animations, his dark eyes wide and bright. “Melda, you want another golden hairpin?” He motions to one of the younger ladies, and she blushes as his gaze is directed to her, and he grins, flashing sunshine from between the gaps in his perfectly white teeth, and you swear, half the ladies sigh audibly. “I’ll get you twenty.”

You lean on the counter beside the group, and taking a sip of your fresh glass, without looking over at the man, you interrupt, saying casually, “Wow. That’s a hefty promise.”

The women turn to stare at you as one, mouths open, some of them whispering behind their fans when they catch sight of you, but paying them no mind, you straighten, and finally meeting the gaze of the man, you offer him half a smile over the rim of your glass. “Your true worth, however, is not how well you buy things, but how well you sell them.”

Jung Hoseok. Fence.

Hoseok grins at you, and pushing through the women without another glance, he comes to your side, leaning against the bar, inches from your face, as he replies quietly, “Come on, baby. You know how well I sell.”

Your gaze drifts down to his lips as he talks, so close you can almost smell the mint chap stick that he always liberally wears, and without skipping a beat you quip back, “And I also know you’re quite the ladies man, Hoseok. So that trick won’t work on me.”

“Trick?” He pulls back slightly, eyes widened comically, as his lips part and he lets out a sigh. “Come on, baby. I wouldn’t trick you.”

“Enjoying the party?” You ask, pulling your gaze away from his, as you once again catch more than one woman looking in your direction, and at the tall, lanky, handsome man who stands beside you, dark hair falling over his high brow as he continues to stare at you.

“Much more so now that you’re here.” Hoseok grins that sunny, heart shaped smile once more, and then reaches into the inner pocket of his suit coat, fingers fumbling for something, as he says with sudden excitement, “Speaking of which, I managed to procure you a little something.”

“Really?” You ask with amusement, turning to him, brow raised, as he finally succeeds in finding what he is looking for and pulls it out.

In his outstretched palm is a necklace-golden and gleaming in the light, the centerpiece a large teardrop ruby, the rest of the twisting chain accentuated with smaller diamonds and sapphires, glimmering against the precious metal and the bronze of his skin.

“Reminded me of you.” Hoseok states simply, whirling you around so that your back is to him, as he lifts the necklace up around your neck and begins to carefully fashion the delicate clasp with nimble fingers, warm against your skin.

You reach up, letting your fingertips trail over the rivets of the necklace, where it lies, cool and comfortable, against the revealed, bare skin of your chest. “It’s beautiful.”

“Like you.” Hoseok smiles against your ear, his fingers finished now, his breath balmy on your cheek, before you feel him press a feather light kiss at the base of the back of your neck. “Stay out of trouble, baby.”

And then he is gone, off to procure more treasures and women from the night ahead.

You aren’t at the bar alone long though.

“Whiskey and rye, please.”

You fiddle with the stem of your wine glass, letting your eyes drift over, nonchalantly, to the tall, broad man who now stands beside you at the bar, fingers drumming on the marble, as he reaches up to tiredly rake a hand through bleached blonde hair.

You note, almost immediately, the checkered pattern that wraps around the very expensive, and perfectly fitting, suit he is wearing.

“I almost didn’t recognize you without your police uniform.”

The man, taking a sip from his freshly delivered drink, glances at you with dark walnut eyes over the rim of his shot glass, before he lowers the glass from his mouth and offers you half a smile. “Hopefully this is a better look.”

Kim Namjoon. Dirty Cop.

“Oh, very.” You lean on the bar, looking him up and down openly. “You clean up rather well.

He chuckles, cheeks darkening a little at your outright compliment, and takes another gulp of his drink before saying, glancing out at the crowded room, “Big crowd tonight.”

You sigh, stepping in front of him, catching him by surprise, as you reach up to straighten the collar of his suit coat, replying softly, and with a touch of annoyance, “Boss Klein loves to make an entrance.”

Namjoon watches you for a moment, staring down at you, and then he reaches up, the silver ring on his pointer finger glinting, and covers your hands with his own, stopping your movements, waiting for your gaze to meet his, before he murmurs to you, “Not as much as you.”

You cock your head, corners of your lips pulling up in the hint of a smile as you regard him, before you lean up on your toes, and brushing a kiss airily across the ridge of his sharp cheekbone, you breathe back, “I do love an entrance.”

Namjoon remains frozen, as you pull away from him, but not before you brush down the collar of his shirt one last time, before you wiggle your fingers at him and offer him a cheeky grin, as you turn to go, calling over your shoulder, “Come find me later.” You wink at him, enjoying the way his cheeks are reddening as you walk away. “After the party, we may be able to find a use for those handcuffs of yours.”

You’re still smiling smugly to yourself, when you exit the warmth and busy bustle of the ballroom in favor of the much cooler and quieter veranda that lies just through the double doors, overlooking the estate’s large and rolling garden.

Taking in a deep breath of the cold night air, you lean on the railing of the balcony, admiring the way the stars and moon reflect perfectly in the clear, gently lapping water of the huge fountain that dominates the courtyard below.

“Gorgeous, isn’t it?”

If you were anyone else, you would have jumped at the sudden voice sounding in your ear, but instead, you simply sigh, and taking one more lungful of the outdoor air, you reply, “It’s a beautiful night.”

“I was talking about you.”

You glance over at the man who is leaning on the railing beside you, white suit perfectly pressed, black shirt stark against his copper skin, ebony bangs falling into his eyes as he tilts his head and holds your gaze, something serious and passionate and dangerous swirling just beneath the layer of gold that lines his pupils.

Park Jimin. Recruiter.

“I bet you say that to every woman, especially the ones with influential husbands.” You retort sardonically, though there is a hint of a smile tugging at your lips as you regard him.

“Please.” He waves his hand, gold rings on every finger glinting in the dim starlight, as he shoots you an expression of dramatic hurt and shock, the look a glaring contrast to his beautiful, almost ethereal features. “You know I only have eyes for you, baby girl.”

“Hmmm.” You hum in agreement under your breath, glancing once more out at the wide, quiet expanse of garden before you.

“And if you don’t believe me,” Jimin has closed the distant between you in the blink of an eye, his hands resting on the railing on either side of your waist, effectively boxing you in, as you turn to face him with brow raised. His full, plump lips quirk into a cocky smirk, as his eyes, pupils widening and darkening, dart down to your lips with open hunger. “I can show you.”

“I’m sure you can.” You murmur under your breath, your own gaze drifting down to the way the rosiness of his lips contrasts perfectly with his skin tone. Reaching up, you carefully run the pad of your forefinger across the swollen, velvet skin of his mouth. “However, as much as I’d like to take you up on the offer, we both have other places to be.”

Jimin stares at you for one more long, molten moment, and then he rolls his eyes. “Dammit. You’re right.”

You pat the hardened muscle of his chest through the thin, black material of his dress shirt with just a hint of regret, before you duck under his arm and walk backwards toward the doors that lead to the ballroom, calling out over the now loud music back at Jimin, “Don’t have too much fun without me.”

He winks at you, lips pulling back up into a knowing smirk, as he gives you a little wave. “Stay out of trouble, baby girl.”

Walking back into the ballroom, mind still slightly occupied with the man you had left standing alone on the balcony, you almost run into someone, but thankfully, that someone has strong, muscular arms that grab around your waist and stop you from ungracefully falling on your face in front of everyone.

You glance up, slightly breathless, and brushing loose hair from your eyes, a grin draws across your lips, as you recognize the face hovering closely above your own.

“Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” You imply teasingly, as the man straightens you back on your feet, although one of his hands remain firmly on your waist, fingers warm through the thin material of your gown, as he leads you out of the crowd and toward a less occupied corner of the room.

He returns your grin with one of his own, boxy expression showing off white teeth that gleam in contrast to his olive skin and jet black hair, swept back carefully off his forehead. “You know me, sweet cheeks. Probably both.”

Kim Taehyung. Informant.

“Thanks for the save back there.” You say, leaning against the wall when you reach the secluded corner, noting smugly, as you do so, that Taehyung has still not removed his hand from your waist.

“Eh.” He shrugs casually, sloping his shoulder into yours as he bumps you playfully, and glances down at you, the remnants of a grin still on his lips. “Any chance to get a hand on you.”

You laugh, and turning to face him, you reach up, pinching his chin between your fingers, as you turn his head from side to side, secretly admiring the way the light bounces off his sharp, high cheekbones and perfectly shaped nose and brow, as you say, “You look thin. Was being on the inside last week really that bad?”

Taehyung shrugs once more, and you admit, you admire his carefree attitude and the way things roll of him easily, when he replies easily, “Nah. Prison food isn’t as awful as they say. Besides.” He leans his shoulder into the wall, bringing the two of you closer together, as he suddenly grows serious, looking down at you carefully. “If the boss calls, I jump.”

“I know.” You release your hold on his chin, fingers hovering gently over the base of his throat, before you let out a sigh and settle on straightening his tie instead. “I’m proud of you.”

“Don’t go getting sentimental on me now, sweet cheeks.” Taehyung’s grin appears again, and you can’t help but return the smile, as he leans closer to you, before boldly reaching out for your hand, and pressing a lingering kiss into the creases of your palm. “I like you because you’re tough.”

“I know.” You repeat, as he pulls away, finally removing his hand from your waist as he does so, a noticeable absence of warmth following the movement.

“See you later, sweet cheeks.” Taehyung winks at you, and spinning on his heel, he waves to someone out of your sight, before he disappears around the corner of the room.

You sigh, leaning back against the wall behind you and taking this rare opportunity of quiet to close your eyes.

After a brief pause, you glance down at the watch that encircles your wrist, and let out a curse beneath your breath.

Shit. When was this guy gonna be ready for you?

As if on cue, as if someone had been able to read your harried and clearly frustrated thoughts, a hand taps your shoulder, and you glance beside you to see a younger looking man, dressed in a black inconspicuous suit, waiting expectantly for your acknowledgement.

When you turn to face him, he straightens his shoulders, and clearing his throat, he states immediately, “They’re ready for you.”

“About damn time.” You growl under your breath, pushing away from the wall, ready to stalk into the meeting with some fair words for whoever was involved, but before you can so much as take a step, fingers loop around your wrist, and you look over in surprise at the young man standing now much closer to you.

Jeon Jungkook. BodyGuard.

“Noona.” Jungkook hesitates, brown, doe eyes, seeming much too innocent to belong to someone in his line of work, watching you carefully, his fingers still encircling your wrist. “Don’t be rash.”

You take in a deep breath through your nose, releasing it slowly, as you consider his words, before you finally nod your head, once, jerkily, in acknowledgment of his statement. “Fine. I’ll ignore the fact that he’s kept me waiting this long. I’ll be civil.” You tug at his fingers snagged around your wrist and look at him pointedly. “I promise, Jungkook.”

Jungkook watches you for another long moment, and then releases his grip on you, before he nods, lips pressed into a thin line, as you start to walk in the direction of the study, just off the main hall, heels loud on the tiled floor, even though the atmosphere is filled with music and laughter and all together too much noise.

He follows behind you silently, always a step away, and when you push in through the door of the study to the scene beyond, you feel Jungkook alert and ever present at your back, eyes scanning the room defensively for any signs of danger.

“Good. You’re all here.” You say immediately upon entering the room, crossing the lush carpet, footsteps padded, to the desk that dominates the space and the chair behind it.

Jungkook moves behind the chair to join the other six men who stand silently, waiting-dark, well dressed figures against the moonlight from the window and the warm glow of the lamp sitting on the nearby table.

Seokjin. Yoongi. Hoseok. Namjoon. Jimin. Taehyung. Jungkook. All members of ‘The Scenes’.

The man and his bodyguards, who had stood upon your entry, bumble their way through a series of respectful bows in your direction, stumbling over themselves, before the main man, once again ducking his head in your direction, manages to choke out, “Boss (L/N)! We’re so sorry for the late hour. We didn’t even know if we’d be able to secure a meeting with you.”

You smirk, twirling a pen between your fingers, as you regard the simpering man standing before you.

Like you said- getting a meeting with the boss was improbable, but not impossible.

“Well, gentlemen.” You set down the pen, linking your fingers in front of you as you regard the obviously cowed and worried men before you with a smug smile. “Let’s talk business, shall we?”

(Y/N)(L/N). Boss.

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justasparkwritings · 4 years ago

Text

Codename Cupid: Chapter 22

Previous: The Final Notice

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x OFC

Genre: Secret AgentAU, Government AgentAU

Rating: PG15

Word Count: 3.2K

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Sex, Mentions of Abortion

Summary: Black Panther, Cricket and OT7 finally meet.

Cricket & OT7: Return to Sender

Present Day

“Why are you following me?” I ask, hands bound together, eyes blindfolded. The car has stopped, and whomever was driving has exited the vehicle in favor of opening my door and yanking me out. It’s silent, apart from my breathing and unavoidably stalky footsteps. I’ve never been able to walk on eggshells, perhaps it was my mother’s direction that stomping on them was far more impactful, that has led me to wear through every heel of every shoe I’ve ever owned. Now, it isn’t my saving grace, rather a rude awakening that I must sound like an ogre to the people who live below me.

I arrived at the designated location, Jungkook trailing behind me. He refused to let me go alone but did compromise and stay in the damn car. He could see me, and I could see him. I was waiting for no more than a minute before promptly kidnapped. Not even chloroformed, just fucking grabbed and taken. Kidnapped, blindfolded and bound. Bound! Some knot a boy scout or aspiring I’m tossed in the back of a car, which, is how I’ve found myself willfully dragging my heels as they ever so gracefully force me in their desired direction.

“Black Panther, why are you following us?” The voice asks. I know that voice, I’ve heard it before, I’ve heard that code name. Had it been referring to me this entire time?

“Us?” I ask again, tossing my voice to see if it reverberates against anything, any sign that furniture or people are nearby.

The man guiding me stops abruptly and peels off my blindfold. Empty spaces are their own kind of hell, and this is no exception. The panic of darkness arises as I close and open my eyes, ensuring they’re really open and not a trick of the mystery man’s charms. I jump softly as seven lights are dropped, one in each spot in front of me, a delicate row of halos waiting to be adorned. Five men step out of the shadows, the one holding me in place making number six. Their pressed suits, cut from the finest cloth, each distinct in their pattern and style, garnish their bodies. As if on cue they cross their arms over their chests and glare openly at me.

“Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung,” I rattle off, each man nodding as I speak their names.

I know them all, tailed them, surveyed their homes, run into them at the grocery story and Mexican restaurants. All except fucking min Yoongi, but I know them. I know these men. I’ve spent the better part of what, two years, trying to understand them, trying to figure out how they’re related, and here they are. There’s space for another, and it takes me a minute to realize who it is that occupies that is supposed to occupy that spot.

“There’s only six of you… where’s -

“Jeon Jungkook,” His voice comes from behind me, goosebumps running up my spine as the heel of his boots hits the concrete. My body is awash in shock, anger, comfort and hope. My Jungkook. My, I have to come home to him, my north star, my sunshine on a cloudy day, my Bunny.

I was fucking right all along, wasn’t I?

“Welcome to the party.” Seokjin says.

“Is this where you tell me that Euna is Hans Gruber and somehow I’m Sergeant Powell?” I question, by tone delicate against their stone expressions.

“If anything, you’re Harry Ellis,” Yoongi says.

“That’s so rude,” I retort. “At least let me be Holly Gennaro.”

“Then who are we, McClane?” Yoongi snorts, the absurdity of my statement causing a brief moment of joy. “Bunny wishes.”

“You’re interrupting our mission,” Namjoon states, pulling my attention to him. His broad shoulders give way to a tapered waist, round golden spectacles are situated against his face, and his jaw is locked tight.

“Me? How the fuck – oh,” My eyes move towards the bulletin board against the far wall, in quintessential fashion there are pictures, string, maps and enough thumbtacks to secure the list of vets from the Vietnam Memorial. I can’t read it, but I can see it. “You guys aren’t the bad guys.”

“No, we’re not,” Namjoon says.

“The Lee family is,” Taehyung says. It’s odd seeing him this quiet and stoic, after all he’s the hottest librarian in the damn county. He comes alive within the confines of his books and stories, he comes alive. He has voices and characters and gestures to match each. Looking at him now, it’s wild to imagine him doing a full interpretive reading of The Very Hungry Caterpillar, or his most famed retelling, Peter and the Starcatcher, when he’s glowering down at me.

“They are poison, seeking revenge on anyone who has worked on cases to bring them down,” Hoseok says.

“So, you all, how did she find you?” My mind is moving too fast for me to form coherent sentences.

“Cupid didn’t find us,” Jimin tells me, eyes still boring holes into mine.

“You did,” Namjoon answers.

“I did?” I ask, eyes wide.

“Mm, your little stunts, your run ins, your photos. She gave you our real names and you-

“Gave her our locations,” Taehyung finishes the sentence, eyes still trained on me.

“You left the notes, and the photo for Euna to find,”

“Yes, but unlike you, our move was intentional,” Yoongi says.

“Codename Cupid needed to know there were higher stakes at play,” Hoseok tells me.

“How was I supposed to know this was some larger conspiracy?” I demand, temper rising.

“Did you not receive notes?” Hoseok asks, by his expression I can tell that he’s responsible for the code breakers that have arrived at my apartment and office over the last nine months. “Strange packages arriving out of nowhere, sent to your office, on the driver’s seat?” Hoseok pushes.

“Yeah, but I’ve had some really sketchy clients in the past, though none of them preferred an ABA rhyme scheme,” I retort.

“Do you know how we found you?” Yoongi snaps.

“Yes?” I ask, genuinely confused, “Google my name and my office pops up. Anyone can find me.”

“Your tactics are fucking bush league, Black Panther. They’re embarrassing,” Yoongi tells me.

“You’re a P.I., not a cop, not an agent, you’re not in the Bureau, yet you’re overstepping into situations that you have no grounds being involved in. You are fucking playing with fire and we were about to be burned if we hadn’t –

“Seokjin,” Namjoon’s voice is biting, harsh, a belt to the back as it cracks in the hot air.

“She needs to know,” Taehyung responds for his hyung.

“Cupid has been lying to you for months, leading you on, paying you over your asking to track us down for what? A few lies you don’t even believe to be true?” Jimin asks.

“We embezzled funds from their charity organization? We reported her family to the IRS?” Taehyung asks.

“We stole jewelry from her famed collection to sell on the black market?” Seokjin adds.

“We’re trafficking high quality cocaine from Colombia into the upper echelon of society?” Jimin rattles off more lies.

“We fucked her, broke her heart, and god – the worst one – we made her abort our child?” Yoongi spits on the floor, disgust flowing through his saliva like blood in the Nile.

I stare at them, mouth agape as they recite words I’ve only spoken to one person. My vision becomes blurry as I try to breathe, in through my nose, out through my mouth, but my heart is pounding in my ears and I can’t breathe. The tears always sting before they fall, and my eyes land on him, tall, blonde hair, clear framed glasses, doe eyes.

“You told them?” I whisper, the end of my sentence curling up into itself as the first tears start to fall.

“I had to,” A whisper, feet frozen to the ground as he refuses to make eye contact with me.

“You were using me?” I ask. “Look at me.”

“I wasn’t using you,” He says, soft eyes meeting mine, the fire scorching the earth.

“So how do they know?” I spit, the little droplets doing nothing to squelch the flames.

“I had –

“You told them information that I shared with you, in confidence, in my fucking bed, in my fucking homeJungkook!” I yell.

“Cricket, can we talk about –

“How dare you use my nickname to get me to calm down, I’m not a fucking child,” the sound of my cries reverberates against the warehouse, echoing violently.

“I can exp-

“There isn’t time for you to sort out your fuck up, Jeon. We have real problems to discuss,” Yoongi snaps. I can feel the tears dripping from my chin, falling to the concrete beneath my feet. The adrenaline pumping through my body as both a reaction to fear and a telltale sign that I’ve been embarrassed beyond repair. Not just embarrassed, eviscerated, betrayed. An hour ago, hadn’t I been deeply in love, terrified I wouldn’t return home to him?

“What do you want from me?” I ask. Jimin hands me a tissue, which I am grateful for as I attempt to gently blot my soaked skin. My mascara, never waterproof, comes off my eyes in dark splotches. How poetic.

“Come, have a seat, Jungkook, get her a water,” Namjoon instructs. He strides towards the bulletin board and pressing a few buttons, the board sinks in the floor to reveal a hallway. The gasp that echoes through the warehouse is audible, and louder than I intend.

“Sorry,” I say, feet guiding me past Jungkook, towards the corridor. There are no pictures on the walls, no signs that this space is used by anyone. The industrial style gives way to a door, bulletproof.

Namjoon pauses, inserting his thumb into a scanner that gives way to a retina display, where he gently places his chin against the base. The machine works quickly before giving him entrance. I watch, amazed. Who knew in the 21stcentury that covert ops and me, a lonely P.I., would intersect?

“This is, headquarters,” Seokjin says. He takes a seat at the long table in front of us and points to the chair next to Taehyung. I sit quickly, my eyes adjusting to the surprisingly bright space.

“Oh my god the view,” I say, composure slightly recovered as I take in the expanse of greenery.

“Yeah, benefit of being in the middle of nowhere,” Yoongi says.

“Read your file,” Namjoon instructs.

The file in front of me, manilla of course, is packed. “Why paper copies?”

“Easier to burn,” Yoongi mutters. He’s taken out his computer and is busy typing away, no doubt pulling up a list of my infractions. Undoubtedly fucking an undercover operative is number one, though falling in love is objectively far worse than sex.

Jungkook brings me a water and deftly cuts the zip ties around my wrist. His hand moves to sooth the indentation and redness from their grip, but I pull them away before his thumbs graze over the skin. Out of the corner of my eye I watch him retreat to his seat at the end of the table.

“If you’re the top of the line, 007 should be shaking in his oxfords, can’t you encrypt it?” I ask.

“Your encryption is only as good as your worst coder. We can’t take that chance,” Namjoon tells me.

“First, I don’t think that’s the saying. Second, the government, who I’m assuming you work for, Interpol, MI6, etc. all use computer systems,” I counter.

“Do you remember the election of 2016?” Yoongi retorts.

“Point taken,” I nod. Of course, Russia. No one was ever safe. “But can’t you blame a lot of that on Zuckerberg and the higher ups at Twitter?”

“Read your file,” Namjoon instructs again.

I open it to find a rather aggressive breakdown of my work as a PI, both items that were on the internet and ones that only top-level government agents could have accessed, that is, unless the NSA has been tapping my phones. Details of my family life, my past relationships, my driving record, it was all here.

“Why isn’t Jungkook on the list of romantic partners?” I ask, eyes looking from Seokjin to Namjoon.

“Are you in love?” Namjoon asks.

I don’t wait for a response from Jungkook, or to find the courage to say the simple three lettered word, yes. Instead, I busy myself by clearing my throat and loudly moving the pages about my life to a separate pile. Underneath is all my evidence, print outs of my documents, surveillance photos of me working. I stare at them, horrified.

“How long have you been tailing me?” I question.

“How long have you been working with Euna?” Taehyung asks.

“Sixteen months,” I reply.

“Ten months.” Taehyung answers.

“You hacked my computer? Is that legal?” I inquire, knowing full well that it isn’t.

“I can tell that you don’t understand who you’re dealing with, so let me put it this way. We’re the ones who knock. We’re the ones who cause dignitaries, presidents, whole countries to quake in their boots. It’s us.” Namjoon’s voice is calm within the storm, its resolute and baritone and every word that he utters is meaningful, impactful. He means what he says, and he fucking says what he means. In every interaction I’ve had with him, which frankly have been maybe more than he realizes, he’s been measured in his speech, only speaking when he has something worth saying. He is patient with himself, kind to others, except for today, when he clearly does not want to deal with me.

“How very Heisenberg of you,” I roll my eyes.

“You don’t want to be Jane,” Namjoon urges.

“Okay first of all, in a Breaking Bad scenario, I’m clearly Jesse. Second of all, Krysten Ritter has had a very lovely career. Finally, this cannot be overlooked or underestimated, I’m Veronica Mars, bitch.”

“Read. Your. File.” Namjoon’s teeth are clenched, his fist resting on the table, his patience going.

I glance at Yoongi who is sniggering, Seokjin who is making eyes at Jungkook, and Jimin who is busy doodling along the margins of his file. These glimpses, these little hints at the weight of their souls, these are the men I’ve been following for nearly two years.

It’s in staring at the remnants of my evidence that it hits me. “Jungkook gave you these photos.”

“Yes,” Seokjin answers.

“Everything you told me was a lie,” I say, eyes burning holes into the stolen images of my work.

“Crick- Y/N, that’s not true,”

“I knew you were connected, that day in the dog park, I knew,” I should’ve trusted my instincts, though they told me to trust him, maybe I should’ve run.

“I didn’t lie, Cricket, I -

“Look, I’ll work with you, whoever you are, but I’m not working with Jungkook,” I look at Namjoon.

“That’s not an option, Black Panther,”

“How did I get that nickname?”

“Can you focus for ten minutes? Read your damn file so we can discuss the next course of action before you have to go meet Codename Cupid for your weekly meeting,” Namjoon bites.

“Fine, do I have to go to that meeting if you’re, doing whatever you’re doing?” I question. “Seems a bit redundant.”

“If you don’t meet with Cupid, she will know we found her, and our decade of work is completely useless.” Seokjin says, stepping in to mitigate the anger erupting from Namjoon.

“What am I supposed to say to her? She knows too much already,”

“She doesn’t know what she knows,” Yoongi answers. “Looking through her emails and texts, it’s clear that her family wants the seven of us dead for espionage, and for attempting to bring them down. All Cupid knows is that you found us, which she assumes is a fatal flaw in our plan, though she has yet to understand the plan at all.”

“It’s completely intentional,” Hoseok adds. “Cupid only knows that we either worked for her company or dated her or a sibling. She knows our fictitious careers and lives but has no clue about who we truly are.”

“Her brother, Dae-Seong, Codename Archer, is the one who wants us gone, eviscerated, eradicated. He’s the one driving this whole thing. Archer’s convinced Cupid that vengeance will solve her romantic woes,” Jimin tells me.

“But what about Jun-Seo? You left him the night of your engagement party, and Kwan-Min, you went on a few dates… Couldn’t this be about them?”

“Codenames Bow and Arrow are less of a threat than Cupid and Archer,” Taehyung answers.

“Cupid has been kept in the dark for the past, fifteen years, in regard to their business. The dark dealings of her company reside solely with her siblings and their parents. We want them,” Namjoon finishes.

“Why not use Euna, sorry, Cupid, as the patsy?” I ask.

“Who will run their company?” Yoongi asks.

“Someone else?”

“There’s too much evidence, nearly the entire company is dirty,” Jimin tells me.

“So, you’ve been spying on them from the inside?” I question.

“Sort of,”

“It’s Nixon, Watergate extreme?” I ask.

“What does Cupid know, and when did she know it?” Yoongi answers, his annoyance completely dissipating at my Watergate mention.

“Why do you think she’ll believe me? She doesn’t have much faith in me as of late,” I question, the lilt of insecurity in my voice. Jungkook glances at me, eyes soft at the familiar tone, he tries to offer a smile, at least, it looks like he’s trying.

“Yeah, because you fucked Jungkook and she found out. Before that though, she couldn’t sing your praises enough,” Namjoon’s calmed down, his frustration settling like sediment at the bottom of a pot. Adding an eighth person to the group was always going to shift the balance, move the power around and rattle nerves. But me? I’m burning it down. Though I can’t completely be to blame - Jungkook is also at fault.

“Fine. What do I say to her?”

“Haven’t we gone over this before? Lie,” Yoongi says.

“Yoongi, if you’re going to be an ass, can you please direct it at someone else?” I snap.

“Feisty,” He nods approvingly.

“Black Panther, you have notes in your file about what we need from you,” Namjoon instructs.

“You want me to end my relationship with her?” I question.

“Yes,”

“What about –

“Either you end it first, creating an enemy, or she ends it with you which will not be helpful for us,”

“I just,” I look at them, eyes finally glancing to Jungkook. He looks exhausted, and sad, so sad, his irises choppy waves searching for harbor. “Do I have a choice?”

“No,” Namjoon answers, but Jungkook’s eyes tell me exactly what I need to know. I don’t have a choice, and somewhere along the line, he stopped having one too.

“Fine, tell me what to do,” I flip to the page in my file, eyes scanning the words, mind no longer full of Jungkook my boyfriend, but of Jungkook, Operative, member of OT7. This is a job, a job that seemingly could make or destroy my career. I don’t have time or the emotional space to navigate his crashing midnight eyes. All I have now is focus, drive, determination, and hints of stubbornness. This is the same drive that in a weird twist of fate, has led me to this very conference room, with these seven mysterious men.

I cannot fuck it up.

I will not get a second chance.

Next: Black Panther Meets Codename Cupid

14 notes · View notes

honsoolie · 4 years ago

Text

don’t rush | 02

pairing: Yoongi/reader

genre: slight enemies to lovers, college au, fluff, eventual smut, classical pianist!yoongi, violinist!reader, they’re both actually really into each other but won’t admit it

warnings (for this chapter only): mentions of stage fright/performance anxiety, swearing, sexual references, slight angst, dad jokes :|

words: 6k

rating: +18

summary: You know, when Min Yoongi’s face isn’t screwed into an accusatory scowl, he looks exactly like the kind of guy you’d have no trouble falling in love with. Or, the conservatory au where Yoongi helps you get over your stage fright. In more ways than one.

a/n: didn’t plan to take this long for an update, life gets in the way, you know the drill. read 01 here and as always, this is crossposted to ao3 :)

When you get inside, the warmth welcomes you in. You’re not quite sure if it’s from the heating in the hallway or how Yoongi’s eyes had shone in the moonlight. You lean against the inner door frame, a happy smile tugging at the corners of your mouth, legs a little weak in the knee. You feel light-headed, maybe from being up late, maybe from your exhausting day, maybe from the lingering remnants of Yoongi’s cologne.

Did that really just happen? Did he really just ask for your number? Was this all a dream?

The euphoria is short-lasting, however. You still have some assignments waiting for you, and only a couple hours left until your morning classes. The tiredness never lets up, and your limbs heavy again as you make your way inside the lobby of your dorm.

Unknown number (2:47am): hi this is yoongi

Unknown number (2:47am): did you get inside ok?

You (2:48am): yeah

You (2:48am): did u?

Yoongi (2:50am): im walking back now

Yoongi (2:50am): you should sleep soon ://

You (2:51am): I still have hw :(

You (2:51am): text me when ur back inside too

Yoongi (2:53am): lmaoo is it counterpoint hw

Yoongi (2:54am): it’s so sweet that you care for my safety ;(

You (2:54am): yes sadly

You (2:55am): ofc I care, we can’t have our amazing star pianist get hurt

Yoongi (2:55am): im home now

Yoongi (2:58am): you have a thing for praise, don’t you

Even though you can’t see him, you splutter alone in your room, roommate fast asleep. There is no way that means what you think it means.

You (3:00am): idk where u got that from

You (3:03am): maybe i do, you’ll have to find out

Yoongi (3:04am): I would, but you have to finish your analysis worksheet :/

You (3:15am): ugh, fuck it

You (3:15am): im going to sleep

You (3:15am): ill just wake up early tomorrow to finish it before class

Yoongi (3:16am): what? No goodnight? >:(

Yoongi (3:17am): some manners you have

Yoongi (3:17am): what a rude girl

You (3:18am): aw have i been bad?

You (3:18am): I’m sooooo sorry

You (3:19am): gn

The minutes tick by, and you grow more indignant than you should. Is he serious?

Who doesn’t say goodnight back? Maybe you scared him off. Maybe all this “flirtatious” banter was just how Yoongi talked to his friends. How would you know? You don’t know anything about him.

The same insidious doubt creeps back in. Maybe this is all a game to him. Maybe he just wanted to introduce himself to another music student in the department, you all were supposed to know each other anyway. Maybe, worst of all, he had really only meant to wake you up in the music building as a simple courtesy, no intent behind it. You groan as you sink into your bed, cradling your head in your hands.

You (3:27am): some hypocrite you are

Yoongi (3:30am): I was in the showerrr relax

Yoongi (3:31am): hm you have been bad

Yoongi (3:33am): maybe I should punish you

You (3:29am): u wish

You (3:30am): but goodnight for real, we have class in five hours :”(

Yoongi (3:31am): goodnight

Yoongi (3:31am): save me a spot next to you

You were in the world’s smallest big crisis.

Was Yoongi actually serious when he asked you to save a seat? Or were you just indulging in wishful thinking? Was he flirting with you last night? And if he was, what are you supposed to do now?

Whatever he meant, you would have to face him now.

The endless litany of maybes and what-ifs grows louder in your head, even louder than last night during your text correspondence with him.You elect to use your backpack to save the seat next to you as class time draws nearer, chiding yourself for overthinking something so casual, but it does nothing to soothe your existential anxiety.

“Thanks for saving me a spot, I’m so glad you remembered.” A voice brings you out of your reverie. It takes a moment to register who it is at first. Your eyes meet the traditional college garb first, sweatpants and an overwashed fundraising t-shirt, then the half-tamed cowlick, that ever-present cup of coffee. Your breath catches in your throat, breathtaking despite the casual circumstances. It’s just another class lecture, you chastise yourself, but your gut twists nonetheless.

Seeing Yoongi in such close quarters is still an adjustment for you, his presence (or even the thought of being close to him) a shock to your body. You had spent so much time languishing after him that even now, it still feels like waking up into a dream.

You clear your throat, stalling, “Yeah, putting my backpack in the seat next to mine was sooo hard. You should compensate me for my labor.”

You try to put on the flirty smile that you were wearing last night, but it feels like a grimace. God, you are way too nervous for this.

You realize you’ll never get tired of the way he laughs at your shitty jokes, the way his shoulders shake and eyes crinkle at the corners.

“Yeah, I will, don’t you worry about that.” He sinks into the seat next to you and doesn’t spare you a second glance.

Dr. Won walks in, the picture of put-togetherness, killing whatever flirty response you had formulated.

You thought you had enjoyed having a crush before, but admiring someone and imagining a life together from afar was worlds away from talking and sitting next to said object of affection. This shouldn’t be that big of a deal. You shouldn’t be tripping all over yourself when Yoongi sits next to you in lecture.

Whatever Dr. Won is saying is drowned out by Yoongi sitting next to you. It feels deeply unfair how he affects you, when he gets to sit next to you like nothing important is happening. It’s just another day in lecture, preparing for the midterms coming up.

He’s not even doing anything, minding his own business. You shouldn’t be swooning when he is just sitting there, again bouncing his leg, taking diligent notes. From the furtive glances you steal, even his handwriting is attractive. Endearing, even if it was a little messy and looping over the printed lines.

True fact: the only reason why Yoongi fidgets so much is because of the effect you had on him. It drives him up the wall, the way you keep tucking your hair behind your ear. He envies your unfaltering concentration, the look in your eye when you see something on the Powerpoint slides that you have to jot down.

Yoongi can’t stand to silently sit next to you without doing anything anymore. Taking his pen, he scrawls on the corner of your neat notes. He knows it’ll piss you off, but that’s the reaction that he wants.

do you have any idea what is going on

He watches carefully for your reaction. Satisfaction creeps into his neutral expression when you notice, confusion turning into what could only be a lovestruck smile, and then into an irritated grimace. Fuck, even the curve of your wrist was enough to drive him crazy. You pick up your pen, writing back.

No, stop writing on my stuff

Okay, new plan, Yoongi concedes. He settles for writing on the corner of his own notes, tearing off the corner. He slips the paper into your lap, fingertips skimming the top of your thigh. He doesn’t notice, but he leaves a trail of goosebumps in his wake.

don’t you think dr. won dresses like an old hag

You write back on the scrap of paper:

actually you could learn a thing or two from her

Yoongi smirks, in classic Yoongi fashion.

You know I would rock a long skirt like her

Yoongi watches you read his message, smile, and then tuck the note into your notebook.

After class, Dr. Won reminds everyone of the midterm coming up two weeks from now, and that’s when Yoongi senses an opportunity. The two of you walk out of class together, forced to walk side by side because of the student foot traffic.

“Do you like, want to study together sometime?” Yoongi blurts out, louder than he needs to be, even among the hum of the other students.

He clears his throat. “I mean, we’ve shared a lot of classes, so.”

You can’t help but laugh in surprise, or maybe incredulousness. You resist the urge to let the satisfaction show on your face. “I didn’t know you ever noticed.”

“Of course I did. You’re like, the biggest nerd on the planet.” Even when Yoongi is teasing you, he can’t help but sound bashful.

You gasp in mock offense. “There’s nothing wrong with being a nerd.” You both stop, standing at the mouth of the lecture hall.

“Of course not.” He’s awfully close to you, close enough that you can see the mole on the tip of his nose. “That’s why I’m asking you to be my study buddy.”

It’s not necessary to be standing this close. Sure, the hallway is busy, but not that busy.

“Study buddy? That sounds lame.” You scoff, playing hard to get. Both you and Yoongi know you’re going to say yes anyway.

“What else do you want me to call you? My homework homie?”

“Uh, yeah . That sounds way better than study buddy. ” You’re more proud of your humor than anything else, even if it earns a deserved eye-roll from Yoongi.

“And midterms are coming up. So you know, mutually beneficial.” Yoongi takes a sip from his coffee, peering at you from behind the rim.

“Like… friends with benefits?” You can’t help yourself. It’s just too easy to flirt with him.

Yoongi tongues his cheek, he grins. “Only if you want it to be.” He’s having way too much fun with this.

You try to hide your reaction, but Yoongi notices anyway. (He notices a lot of things you don’t realize.) Your wide-eyed shock, the blush that’s flushing down your neck, the way you open your mouth as if to say something equally as flirtatious back, your laugh, like this is actually way more casual than it is.

“So I’ll take that as a yes,” He says. You could get used to the playful lilt in his voice.

“Only if you promise you won’t just copy my work.” You cross your arms in front of your chest, suddenly very aware of how tall he is.

“I live and die by the honor code, y/n. Of course I won’t,” Yoongi says, leaning ever closer to you in the cramped hallway.

You quirk an eyebrow. “Does a man of honor text me like you did last night?”

“Oh come on. If you’re going to be friends with me you’re going to have to learn to laugh at dirty humor.” Friends? It’s a start, at least.

“Who said that I didn’t like dirty humor?”

“Hmm, I did.” There’s a glint in his eyes that wasn't there before. “You’d have to be a woman of your word and show me.”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” You flash an innocent smile, like you don’t see the implication of what he’s saying.

Tuesdays have always been the most bittersweet day of the week for you. It’s lesson day, but oh, it’s lesson day. It feels like the day of judgement, every single week. It’s a culmination of all the blood and tears that you’ve poured into your music in the past week, another chance at evaluation. You’ve known your violin teacher longer than you’ve been in college, and it still shouldn’t scare you this much.

The nervousness spins and dips in your chest as you make your way up the winding stairs that lead to the music building. You usually soothe the apprehension by reminding yourself of all the things you’ve done to prepare, just like you usually do before you go out on stage. This week you were supposed to get the rest of the Bach partita memorized and cleaned up, but it still resides in your memory as disjointed bits and pieces of what it’s actually supposed to sound like. You try to run through the parts that you were stuck on last night, but you draw a blank. You usually don’t take this long to commit pieces to memory, but when you open up your score, all you can think about is the unmoving stare of the audience. Seeing your life flash before your eyes every time you stare at your pencil markings isn’t exactly conducive to productive practice sessions.

As you retrieve your violin from your locker and make your way to the practice room, you feel like you’re preparing yourself for your own undoing—every scale, every tick of the metronome—another step towards your demise.

It shouldn’t be this serious, but the pitter-pattering of your heart says otherwise. You glance at the clock. It’s time. You pack up now, so you have a couple extra minutes to wait solemnly outside of her office, staring at the posters that advertise the professionals who come to perform concerts at your college. Next week, a pianist and violinist duo is coming. In the picture, they’re smiling proudly next to a Steinway piano. They look proud of themselves. They probably don’t feel like they’re allergic to the stage, probably live for the audience’s applause. That’s probably how they ended up there on the poster, after all.

Your violin teacher isn’t scary. She’s a homey, lovely old woman whose wrinkles come from a lifetime of smiling. She’s the type to bring you sweet, homemade pastries that are almost as warm as her hugs during the toughest parts of the semester. Which makes the moments when she’s unhappy all the more painful. It’s not her fear that plagues you, but disappointment.

The door clicks open, and you have no more time to ponder your failures as a musician. You gather your things and head inside. Nothing inside her office has changed since the previous week. The same teetering stack of well-loved method books sits on her chair, the same humidifier whirring steadily in the corner, the same Dr. Kim Hyung-Seo sitting on the piano bench.

“Good afternoon, y/n! How’s the Bach coming along?” She asks, like you haven’t spent the past week treating this piece like your mortal enemy. She takes a sip of her warm chamomile tea, from the same snowman-shaped mug that she’s used every week, because she is that endearing. In another life, she would probably be your grandmother.

“Good morning. Ah, you know…” You trail off and gesture into the air, trying to hide your grimace. How could you possibly describe the unease and unsureness around performing without crossing some kind of professional boundary?

“Let’s hear it, it’s okay. Are you all warmed up?” You nod as you unpack your things again. As you move to put the Bach score on the music stand, she tuts.

“Didn’t we agree that this would be memorized last week?” Dr. Kim flips through her lesson notes, inky blue scrawling over the pages. “Yeah, it should be memorized. Close the score, darling.” Usually, when Dr. Kim calls you darling, warmth unfurls in your chest and you beam. You’re not feeling particularly warm right now.

“Ah, okay…” With slow reluctance, you close the score, the plain paper cover mocking you. You lift your bow to your violin, and shut your eyes. You don’t want to watch this.

Yoongi (4:38pm): Hey

Yoongi (4:38pm): wanna study tonight :]

If there’s anything Yoongi is good at, it’s having perfect timing. You half-walk, half-run out of the music building, sucking frigid air into your lungs. The cold weather seems to force the tears back into your eyes. If there was ever a worst-case scenario for how a lesson could go, then that was what just played out in the music room.

Shutting your eyes won’t stop the barrage of images, playing the world’s cruelest slideshow behind your eyelids. Your teacher’s pursed lips, the still fingers clasped over her mug, the pinched brow.

“y/n, we don’t have much more time to clean it up…” Her words echo in your head. “We’ll try again next week…” The disappointment was the worst thing, the downward tone in her voice. “I expected better…”

You (5:15pm): maybe

You (5:15pm): what time?

Yoongi (5:20pm): like now

Yoongi (5:23pm): are you busy?

You (5:25pm): no I just finished up a lesson

You (5:26pm): i’m about to study in the library if you want to join me

Yoongi (5:30pm): I don’t want to go to the library :(

You (5:31pm): why not

Yoongi (5:32pm): if I feed you dinner will you come to my apartment

Yoongi (5:33pm): I really don’t want to walk to the library it’s too damn cold

After all, the best way to a woman's heart is through her stomach.

You (5:35pm): fine

You (5:35pm): it better be a hell of a dinner

Yoongi (5:36pm): of course it will

Yoongi sends you his location, and you’re walking as fast as you can through the campus to make it to his apartment before you can freeze your fingers off.

Yoongi’s expression is nothing short of scandalized when you show up at his door. It’s a typical mouse hole apartment, his front door identical to all the other ones that you’d passed to get here.

“You’re not wearing gloves? In this weather?”

“I don’t have any…” You rasp out. You’re tired. Your throat hurts from trying to hold tears back during your entire lesson, and you have no spirit left to give Yoongi an innuendo-laced comeback.

I expected better.

“Oh my god, you’ve been playing violin for how many years and nobody ever told you to wear gloves when it’s cold?” He leads you inside, the warmth abating the cold that’s wormed its way underneath your clothes and into your bones.

“For God’s sake, y/n, hasn’t anyone ever told you about the importance of blood circulation?” Yoongi clasps your hands between his, rubbing and blowing air on them to warm them up. He doesn’t notice your surprise amid his chastising, muttering something about common sense. You don’t try to keep your guard up this time, just trying to bite tears back at the mention of musicianship. The firm press of his hands grounds you.

“There.” He smiles, proud of himself. “Warm now?”

Oh yeah, you’re definitely warm. In every dimension of the word. But you don’t tell him that, so you settle for a weak nod.

“You can put your stuff there. I’m hungry now, let’s eat first?” You hum in affirmation as you settle your heavy backpack on his cramped couch.

It turns out that Min Yoongi’s idea of gourmet cooking is heating up two freezer-burnt Hot Pockets while you watch him putter around the tiny kitchenette. This is the first time you’ve ever seen him without his glasses, and this is when you finally internalize that Yoongi will always look good no matter what he does or wears or says.

“You made it seem like you were cooking,” You say, just to fill the silence.

“Uhhhh, I don’t know who told you I was capable of cooking, but they were wrong. I can show you a good time in other ways, no?”

You snort.

In hopes of saving time, he microwaves both of Hot Pockets at the same time. You silently bristle at the fact that even your dinner is getting more action than you are these days.

You and Yoongi eat together in his tiny living room, sitting on mismatched stools.

“How did your lesson go?” Yoongi says, more focused on eating than on you.

“Oh…” You set your Hot Pocket down, sighing in defeat. The image of Dr. Kim sitting behind the piano bench, her dissatisfaction like a noxious cloud. “I… I… got ripped apart. I’m a little behind with preparing for the Bach festival, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing I do or prepare will make me less stressed about it.” You slump onto the counter, recounting all the things you did wrong in your lesson today. I expected better.

“What’s the stress about? We still have over a month, right?” You’re suddenly jealous of Yoongi. His nonchalance, his seemingly constant reassurance that everything is going to be okay.

“I’m not worried about that… just, no matter how much I practice, I’m gonna fuck it up on stage.” Your forehead pinches in frustration.

“Are you that nervous?”

“I’ve always been this nervous. For any performance. I haven’t performed alone in a while… and you know. It’s Bach, and everyone expects me to do some amazing job, and it’s like, I don’t know if I can deliver that and-” Yoongi eases his hand on your shoulder, calm, reassuring. He looks concerned. Like he cares. Like a friend.

“When was the last time you played something just for the fun of it?”

“I don’t know, maybe my freshman year? I used to arrange themes from movies.”

“We should work on something together, just for fun. We’re such a perfect instrument combo, there’s so much repertoire for violin and piano.”

“What did you have in mind? Do you even have enough time for that?” (You know you don’t have enough time for that.)

“It doesn’t even have to be a difficult piece. It could be something easy or hard, I don’t care.” Yoongi ponders his next words over a bite of his food. “I… I... just want to see you less stressed out. And music should always be fun, not just for a grade. What kind of music would you be making if you weren’t happy?”

“I don’t know…”

“I know this one Brahms piece that I think you’d like. Totally fits your vibe. We can just work on it slowly, you know? Or we could arrange the Anpanman theme song, I don’t care.”

“I think I’m mostly good for the midterm, except for the composer dates,” Yoongi spins around in his office chair, dragging his feet on the ground.

“Me too,” You say, as you drink in the sight of his room. For someone who claims to abhor studying and all things academic, Yoongi appears to be quite the organized student. Despite the constant claim that his education is merely a necessary evil, he keeps his notes organized in uniform binders on a well-cared for bookshelf. The bookshelf is adjacent to the extremely detailed wall calendar, marked full with due dates and deadlines in pens of various colors.

He runs his fingers over the binders to locate the binder allocated to the species counterpoint class you’re taking together.

“I already have flashcards for everything before the Romantic Era, but I’m so fucked for everything else.”

“Why not just use Quizlet like everyone else?” You say. You eye his neatly made bed and the Kumamon stuffed animal shoved hastily underneath it.

“Back in my day, we used flashcards like cavemen,” Yoongi reasons, despite the fact that your birthdays are months within each other. “And besides, they feel better in your hand.” Of course, they’re indexed by color and musical era.

“Ugh, I hate sitting at my desk. My back is starting to hurt,” Yoongi says, despite having worked for about ten minutes. “Do you want to lay down?” He pats the fluffy comforter adjacent to him. Yoongi doesn’t wait for your response however, plopping down on the bed with an audible thump.

“Okay, old man,” You jibe, but you’ve also been sitting for a majority of the day. Your back is aching too, but you’ll never admit it to him.

Sometimes, at times like these, you wish you could just muster up the courage and stop playing this game of cat and mouse with him. When you lay on his sheets that smell like him, quizzing each other, you wonder what would happen if you confessed your feelings for him, right then and there.

Or outlined exactly how exactly you would take his cock in your mouth, given the chance. Other times, you consider the fact that he might like to play with his food before diving in. Whatever it was, it scared you, the unease climbing up your spine and staying put.

You wonder if he understands the implication of you so casually lounging on his bed, but then you realize that you likely don’t exist in the realm of romantic possibilities for him. He likely sees you as the nerdy, sexless violinist that spends all her time slaving away in the practice room or the library. That’s why you’re here, after all. To help study for the midterms coming up. “Being friends with him is better than nothing,” you tell yourself, but you can’t really bring yourself to believe it.

You don’t remember, or at least don’t care to, when Yoongi started touching every aspect of your life. It’s really only been a couple of weeks since the two of you started studying together. You don’t dare to imagine how much of your thoughts he would occupy if you continue your friendship into the coming months. If your crush of massive proportions was bad before, it’s truly out of hand now. It certainly didn’t help that he actually knew you existed now. He spammed you gifs of baby animals while he was on the way to class, texted you links to performances of pieces that he was working on. He even began to send you teasing texts on the mornings that he made it to the practice rooms before you.

Every experience you have is colored by thoughts of him. The coffee that you drink like ambrosia conjures up images of him sitting across from you in some far-off sunlit cafe, laughing at all your jokes. On the nights when sleep escapes you, you lay awake rehashing over and over what you had said to him on the previous day. You even fall into reveries when he’s sitting there right next to you.

It’s inescapable, especially with the Bach Festival looming over your head. The more time you spend in the practice room, the more you go back to that one fateful night. You can still see the image of him now, sitting before the piano, playing Chopsticks.

You both make your way through the fat deck of flashcards, Yoongi quizzing you first.

“J.S. Bach?” You note to yourself even the upswing in his voice was cute. How did you ever let yourself get so whipped?

“1685 to…” You falter, still stuck on his voice. Even his voice drives you crazy.

“Come on, you should know this.” He drives his point home by poking you in the side, and he likes the gasp that you make.

“1750.” Of course you know Bach’s birth and death dates by heart. You see it every time you open up your score. Even the scant prod he gave you in the side, over your clothes, is enough to make your skin heat up.

“And if you ever tickle me again, you won’t live long enough for midterms,” You threaten, but your harsh tone of voice doesn’t reach the light in your eyes.

“Brahms?”

“Ugh, fuck, I don’t know. 1832 to?”

“Wrong.” He sets the cards down next to him, looking at you in mock disappointment. In an instant, he attacks you with tickles, and your efforts to bat him away are fruitless.

“This-this is what you get for not knowing when Brahms was born! Learn through punishment! 1833 to 1897, remember that next time!!” He collapses on top of you, burying his face in your neck, unrelenting. Yoongi sounds almost gleeful in your torture.

You writhe under his touch, and for all the wrong reasons.

For the first time in your life, you’re almost glad you’re ticklish. Your eyes roll back into your head, not of your own accord. It’s too much, the soft skin of his cheek pressed up against your neck, the warm weight of his body against yours, the way his legs cage you in. A moan slips in between your helpless giggles, and Yoongi doesn’t miss it.

“Uhhh, what was that?” He doesn’t stop, merciless in his advance. “I didn’t know you liked tickling… like that.” He’s teasing you, now. He can’t hide his pleased grin.

Between gasps, you manage to pant, “I… don’t…”

“Then what? Tell me.” That’s when Yoongi relents, leaning back. He continues to straddle you, because he’s cruel like that. (And because he likes it too.)

“You’re just… ugh, I don’t know… so close.” In Yoongi’s eyes, you’re a study in debauchery. From your struggle, your hair is mussed, the hem of your shirt awry. Your cheeks are flushed, from embarrassment or from the tickling, you don’t know. Your chest frantically rises and falls, trying to regain your breath.

You, on the other hand, feel fucking ridiculous. Contrary to popular belief, being on the recieving end of tickling is fucking physically exhausting.

Yoongi is stuck on the hot and bothered look on your face, except for the hard look in your eye. You despise being tickled, even if it is Min Yoongi doing the tickling. He wonders what you’d look like if you were underneath him in… different circumstances.

Would it compare?

“I… I… I just…” You avert your gaze now, hiding your face behind your hands. You can’t stand to look at him right now.

“Spill it, or I’ll go back to tickling you until you break.” He grabs your hands away from your face, pinning them next to your head.

He really isn’t going to make this easy for you, is he.

This is overwhelming. The eye contact is too much. The weight of his hands on your wrists, holding you down, is too much. The way his panting breath tickles the skin beneath your collar is too much. You’ve had a bad day, the voice in the back of your head whispers. He makes you forget how awful this semester has been. He makes you feel better. Make this day easier on yourself. Just give in.

There’s no hiding it now, you concede.

You shut your eyes, unable to face him. “It’s just… been a while.”

“Uh-huh. Continue?” He places his hands back on your stomach, as if in warning.

“Since uhhhh… I’ve done… anything… with anyone…” Your words hang heavy in the air. Your secret is out.

He laughs. He really has the audacity to laugh.

“Shut up! I’m just like, touch starved, okay?” You’re definitely just blushing out of embarrassment, at this point.

Yoongi starts to ponder if he crossed too far of a line, but you continue anyway. You huff, indignant and desperate to cover your ass. This is not how you ever imagined telling Yoongi you were ever interested in him, sexual or not.

“Not everyone is like, the campus pussy magnet and gets to fuck whenever they want,” You say.

He rolls his eyes. “Okay, I’m not the campus pussy magnet. We’re... not so different. I haven’t been with anyone, um, in a while.” Now Yoongi takes his turn to blush and stutter. He does that thing he always does when he’s nervous, runs a hand through his hair and lets it rest on the nape of his neck.

“I find that hard to believe. No need to lie out of pity. Like, come on. Look at you. You’re all…” You gesture down his body, “And you have that whole vibe going on, and you’re tall, and you have good taste in cologne, and-and-and you play the piano , and ugh. You should know that by now.” You babble on. You’re not that good at keeping secrets, anyway. Might as well let the cat out of the bag while you’re at it.

Yoongi doesn’t say anything, but you’re not fazed. By now, you’re used to the long silences that elapse when you’re with him. You wait for him to talk first, just so you can discreetly enjoy the feeling of him straddling you for a little longer. You try to pass off the silence as you quietly fuming at him for calling out your lackluster sex life, but you’re really just trying get yourself together.

Then he starts laughing. Again.

“What are you laughing for now?” Your brow furrows in frustration.

“Nothing, nothing, don’t be mad. I just didn’t think that tickling would be a turn on for you.”

“It’s not!”

“To be completely honest with you, you look like one of those really innocent soft girls on the outside but you’re actually like, into choking and have a secret sex dungeon.” He doesn’t seem to care that you’ve all but revealed your massive, terminal crush on him.

You sigh, but you’re just glad he gave you something to fire back with.

“You and I both know that the university dorms are too small for a sex dungeon, Yoongi. I can’t even have candles in my room. What sex dungeon is complete without candles?”

“Oh, a devil in the details. The ambiance is important, I see…” That devious smile of his makes a comeback.

“Oh, shut up. Give me the flashcards, four-eyes.” He relinquishes the flashcards, but he still continues to straddle you.

“Woah, there’s no need to insult my glasses.”

You ignore him, desperate to move on from your momentary lapse in judgement. “Haydn?”

“1732 to 1809. What about music? Music must be important if you care about the ambiance. Answer my question.”

You laugh to cover up how worked up you are. “Maybe you can find out after we finish reviewing. Scarlatti?”

“1660 to 1725. What kind of music do you listen to? R&B, something sexy?” He sits up now, spurred on by your refusal to answer his questions.

“Or do you listen to classical music then, too? Does Chopin get your blood flowing?” He’s being insufferable now.

You groan into the pillow. “Yoongiii, let’s focus.”

“If it’s something like Liszt, I’m sure I have a couple recommendations.”

Yoongi sits up straighter, waggles his eyebrows in a way you definitely shouldn’t find endearing. “Or, I could record something for you…”

You snap. “Just, I don’t know, sometimes I listen to music?” Your attempts to stop the blushing are in vain, heat blooming across your cheeks and down your neck. It’s even harder to stop when it’s your embarrassingly short sexual history on the line.

“I prefer dirty talk anyways…” You murmur under your breath, wishing he could just get the fuck off your case. The more he keeps talking about things like this, in that tone of voice, the harder it’s going to get to keep your ever-growing crush a secret.

Still, some small part (let’s be honest, the monkey brain part of you) of you, the part of you that aches for him, wants to spur him on.

“What was that?”

“Nothing! Nothing.”

“Hmm… something about dirty talk?” Fuck, does Yoongi have a good ear. He smiles. He knows he’s gotten you now.

Okay, you should probably admit to yourself that he’s flirting with you now. The touches, the holding you down, the insistence on pushing this tiny matter, it all adds up. And the math says that Min Yoongi is flirting with you.

“Mmm, nothing.” You snuggle a little deeper into his bedsheets, playing coy.

“You know, like during sex? Don’t make me tickle you again, because I will stoop that low.”

“I don’t remember saying that…” You mock-pretend to ponder his question, catch your bottom lip between your teeth. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see his gaze fall downward. You know you’ve gotten him now.

“Can you refresh my memory?”

“Like… you know.” He shrugs.

“I’m an auditory learner. Do you have an example?”

“Hmm, let me think… I’ll tease you until you’re begging for me to touch you properly? Does that ring a bell for you?”

“No…” You bring your hands to your face to cover up your blush, and because you can’t stand to look at him. Not when he’s talking to you like that, with that look in his eye, his hands on your body. “It doesn’t…” You laugh, even beneath his weight.

He laughs. “I’m just teasing. You’re so cute when I get a rise out of you.”

Oh.

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