#find the ones you're proud of
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This is from a flufftober piece I wrote this last year that was a lot more hurt/comfort than I meant but I still absolutely loved
Shaggy's hand shook as he reached out to stroke the tombstone, his fingers touched the cold stone and he recoiled. Instead he brought his hand up to touch the metal that was warmed against his throat. He traced the "SD" on the diamond shape and sighed. He closed his eyes as tears welled up.
A hand closed over Shaggy's shoulder and he swore his heart stopped for a moment. His eyes were flying open as he turned. Blinking his eyes in confusion at the familiar face.
"Hey, Shaggy." Fred squeezed his shoulder. His blue eyes dropping to the teal collar loosely hanging on Shaggy's throat.
From "Collared"
I have an idea! 💜 (if you don't mind such thing, of course!)
Everyone reblog this ask and write about the fic you're the most proud of. Published one, unpublished one, work in progress, doesn't matter! Just say some nice things about your work. 💜
Heck yeah! Feel free to share a few sentences you’re proud of! Tag a friend or several!
I’ll go first!
This is a line of dialogue from a semi-crack fic my friend and I work on periodically:
“I highly doubt there’s a bomb in your e-mail, Timothy,” Jon says, emerging from his office, looking all for the world like a disgruntled rat in a posh button-up and knitted sweater. A posh rat — a prat, if you will.
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Hello @canisalbus, have this wrinkled doodle of Machete
#very sorry about the look of it#it is in fact a little doodle on a corner of a sheet#which I found again because a cup of water fell on my stack of freehand phone sketches#so it not only wrinkled but it also have soggy colors#I managed to save all of my drawings#very sorry it's not a fancy nor high quality fan art#but I through I conveyed well his proud/annoyed look#(sorry not finding the exact word to convey what I'm trying go say)#well. hope you like it.#thank you for your art it's very good and inspiring and you're one of my fav artists#have a nice day
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"No, Frank Albert, haunting furniture is out of fashion since 9:10, now we jumpscare and aim for the heart attacks. Yes, I know, floating dressers are cool, but we're on a schedule, Frank Albert, the IRS is onto us."
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Ref
#sketch#dragon age#dragon age oc#shaan#ndo sta l'art tag#secret pants? secret pants#<- arja is shedding a tear of pure proudness lmao#frank albert is a mutual#(because it has two heads that have different opinions but it's just the same spirit who's just a liiiitlle too indecisive)#so it throws ideas around and they pick the best one after a small discussion#also who wouldn't want two heads#you're doing great frank albert I'm proud of you#you'll find your identity in time#possessing people is hard let's start with just bones then let's see how it goes
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thinking about the person i could have been if i tried a little harder to find my own way
#probably the thing i am resenting my parents for right now is how good they were at convincing me#not to pursue any career paths other than the ones they laid out#every time i was like hey this seems interesting should i check it out? they would be so quick with the#do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it? to do it for your whole working life?#and obviously 8 yo 12 yo 14 yo 17 yo 18 yo me would get terrified and go no sorry and just not look into anything further#supposedly this is the safe option but everything i do feels meaningless#all of the jobs in this field seem meaningless#the job market in this field right now is dog shit and I'm fighting like hell for positions that just make me sad to think about#but every time i think hey what if i tried another thing#now my brain shuts me down with the do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it#your whole life on it#and the answer is no and it's gonna be no for a long time i bet#don't know if I'll ever find my way out of it#told my roommate's boyfriend about my general dispassion for pretty much everything in life#he asked me if I'm even a person#which feels very true#i feel like this path I've followed if i keep following it#I'm not going to be a person i can be proud of#i know it's really early in my life to say but#idk if it's nature or nurture or my own damn fault but all the ambition has been weaned out of me and I've been getting just surviving#i just wish i got told more you can be whatever you want to be :)#instead of whatever you'll do you'll be good at so do what makes money and push your hobbies to the side you can do them after you retire#your mom likes this and you're good at it so you'll like it too it'll make you money this is the best thing#the other thing is harder and doesn't make as much money don't do that you won't like it that much i bet#when i was younger#maybe I'd be struggling more but I'd be really happy and fulfilled#or maybe this is genuinely the best timeline and eggs who tried to pursue art hates it now#maybe I'd be really stupid at all the other things i gave a passing glance at#eggsistential speaks#tag rant
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things i would kill for ao3 to implement:
permanent tag filter/blacklist system (i genuinely think this would solve like 60% of proship/anti discourse)
letting you pin one fic in particular at the top of your profile so everyone sees it
#babbles#ao3#former one. do you know how much itd solve if people were able to just filter out the stuff they dont wanna see Once instead of Every Time#win win. ppl who dont like that stuff stop having to be reminded of it at every turn and ppl who do will hear less complaining#ALSO wrt second point does anyone else get the jitters when a fic you're really proud of stops being immediately visible on your profile#im like Fuck. if i Post More. the fic i Want people to read will be Harder for them to Find
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I've been trying to figure out a dynamic between neve and rye that I find more compelling, because right now there's not much of anything there for me to sink my little teeth into. but I think I've landed on something delicious with the idea that especially after minrathous gets fucked, rye looks at neve and sees myrna -- someone he feels he keeps letting down horribly no matter how hard he tries not to and can't quite achieve the approval of/connection with that he wishes so it's better to just pull away completely and disengage rather than stay in that unshifting shame. neve is (very understandably) measured and distant with him after what happened, and he's flashing back to his student days of myrna gazing at the perpetually hungover heartbroken heap of a person of him on the other side of her desk every time he missed the deadline of a paper or project like '...can we at least both agree that this is. a bit disappointing. especially considering your potential.' (and him all smudged black eyeshadow and numb ruefulness being like 'sure that's a very kind way to put it myrna thank you'.)
aside from the 'if I let him get too deeply into this he'll go the way of brom and it'll be all my fault (again)' element, neve thinks rye is dismissing her and her city/being a bit callous in the same way he was after varric's death (listen. how fucking wild must rook's reaction to losing a beloved mentor seem to the rest of the crew who aren't seeing the blood magic paper doll ghost varric the whole time, especially those who got to see them interact. you WOULD think 'there's something wrong with this guy. putting the job first is one thing just not seeming to react at all is another this is fucking freaky', wouldn't you, especially after seeing the warmth in that dynamic in action beforehand.) perfect storm of two people who grit their teeth and turn inwards in pain deciding that not talking about it is their best bet (NEWSFLASH: IT ISN'T) lmao
(rye spent his last year of watcher training on a mostly joyless bender and then got it together enough to finish the eternal orb project last moment in a fevered near-sleepless week instead of the half a year that was intended. emmrich is both astounded and distressed to hear this. "a week? but -- but that is an astounding accomplishment rook!! and also why in the maker's good light would you ever do that to yourself?" ("well you see there was no one to stop me from doing it like that but me. and under those conditions these things tend to happen".) rye was working through/looking up stuff around transitioning and doing every kind of OTHER high level watcher research through that whole time, but ultimately he's an excellent watcher and a terrible student, at least under traditional methods. adhd from here to the fucking moon. touched by something akin to divine inspiration in moments of high tension that pulls all the threads into one coherent unbreakable cord, a bit of a frayed mess in most other settings. in our world he'd be dropping out of a masters program at the very last hurdle in this moment maker bless and protect him)
#myrna is actually really proud of him for pushing through and becoming a very fine member of the mourn watch#(and a good man)#but she is also. well. myrna. so she has never expressed as much to him. (she thought it went without saying. it did not!)#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#neve gallus#considering how satisfying the Arc with davrin has been I hope this can liven up neve and rye's interactions for me!#also very interesting and fitting b/c davrin will come for you where you live and go 'and hey btw ANOTHER THING --' no bullshit#which rye finds SO annoying but is probably why their relationship has grown so deep so quickly b/c davrin won't let him avoid him#while neve is ironically a lot more like him and it means they have a much harder time reaching each other b/c they're both so watchful#and guarded. they vibed so hard in the beginning it was all neve approves all the times b/c they have similar instincts. and now look at us#we live in the same house and politely pretend the other one doesn't exist. we're making ghosts out of each other!!!#explaining why he's semi-avoiding her. he thinks he's being thoughtful in giving her her space but uh. well.#perhaps more flight behaviour in that than he's willing to gaze at directly haha#rye looks at lucanis claiming he's a mess and goes 'oh buddy you should've seen me the first day in a year I was fully sober#and working on that fucking orb with head pounding and eyeliner running. even like this you're one of the tidiest#and most disciplined people I've ever met. you're literally fine.'#the reason the romance is so slow is not even mostly on lucanis I think rye is the slower to truly open up one in that dynamic lol#hey. I love rook. I love him so much. my trying his best underachieving babyboy who killed god when he got it together#I suspect this is going to be a situation where I've planned multiple other playthroughs#that will inevitably be hampered by '...but where is rye tho. I wish rye was here. does anyone else miss rye' lmao#for reference I've finished DA:O at least 4 times. and all four of them was sophia amell doing exactly the same things. I have a Pattern lo#a pattern I have only really broken in da:i where I have three inquisitors I care about sort of equally (adaar is my fave#but I have fondness for them all)#hawke I basically play as always the same person just AUs of him haha. what if he was a mage instead and it was somehow even sadder#that sort of thing
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You wanna see this collage of art prints I've created on my living room wall?! Here it is!!
All of the prints are made by Drawn To High Places.
#Love it a lot and I'm really proud of how it's turned out#Trying to find frames of the right size was hell since the prints are US sizes but I don't live in the US#Got two of the big frames and all the small frames second hand and then I painted one of the frames greenish#Also took me forever to decide on the colour 😅#But I'm really happy with how it turned out because the colour fits the print in the frame really well#The green frame is technically too big but only by a little bit on the sides so I painted the back plate green as well#I don't think it's very noticeable as long as you don't look at it up close#All the big prints are of the same mountain though you probably don't know it unless you're a pnw local#Personal
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Nowwwwww, I facetiously mentioned at the bottom of this post about the Halo: Reach achievement:
To do that, you have to go under or close to par time on pretty much each level ON LEGENDARY.
I have beaten Reach on Legendary but it probably took me closer to 30 hours than 3 because I did my slow, methodical strategies to get through. I did the par time achievement by running past everything I could on Easy. Can I combine the two successfully?
I decided to give the first level "Winter Contingency" a try (after watching some Youtube vids on getting this achievement, of course 😉). Par time is 15 minutes.
That was my third try, the first was 16 and some minutes, the second got it to 15 and some and then that one got under the par by 32 seconds! I should note that this is considered one of the easiest levels to do on Legendary and the guide I watched by the ever-awesome Halo Completionist did it under 12 minutes and you're going to need every spare second you can scrap together to give you a buffer for some of the long, difficult levels. But still!
It's silly, I know, but I feel so proud of me! I'm an old lady (well, middle-aged, if I'm being generous 😜) playing Halo with shaky hands but I made under par time on Legendary! 🥳🥳🥳
PS - Tried it again and got 13:55!
#halo#halo: reach#halo reach#this is my game tag#it's silly i know but i really am proud of me#nobody will ever realize how little i expected to be able to even finish ONE of the mcc games on easy#i wanted to be able to do it but i just didn't think i'd be able to#and then i made it through halo ce#and then the others slowly one at a time#it means something to me#i don't even know why but it does#i'm not good at games but i'm tenacious i'll keep trying#i'll watch different strategies then try to find something that'll work for me#i'll work at it until i get there#it's not pretty nobody would ever want to watch my twitch stream that's for sure lol#but i get it done#i'm proof that you don't have to be some amazing gamer to do some amazing things#i feel like there's a life lesson in there or something i dunno#is anybody still reading down this far in the tags?#have a cookie if you're still here#love you frens#thanks for letting me share with you#ageless aislynn
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beaming everyone on the dashh with good brain day vibes!!! i hope that you all can remember to extend self-compassion to yourself whenever you're feeling down about something 💙
#lizzy speaks#the human brain works in such profound ways i think#lately i've been thinking about that post that was like 'you will always be your oldest friend take care of yourself'#it's definitely a sentiment i agree with and i appreciate how it emphasizes the importance of extending compassion to yourself#you wouldn't say such hurtful things to your friends right? (or at least i'd hope so)#so why would you say it to yourself?#you are your own friend too. and i think everyone has a beautiful soul within themselves. nurture it! water it! feed it good thoughts.#basically i wish everyone a 'i hope that your brain is not your own enemy but rather a friend that you can find comfort in'#things will work themselves out with time. there's beauty in life and you will find small delights to cherish!! i am manifesting it for u!!#and for those who find it difficult to transition from a self-critical mindset to one that's more compassionate and nonjudgmental#i truly think that with time you will be able to rewire your brain to be kinder to yourself. i'm proud of you for taking any first steps :)#there are times in which it feels counterintuitive to go against habits that feel hard-wired... but brains are very malleable littel guys-#with such a wonderful capacity for changing and learning new things. so i hope everyone can learn to be their own best friend!#not to undermine the importance of a support network ofc. that's good too and im all for that!! but i hope everyone remembers to be kind-#not only to others but also to themselves!! you're going to do great out there!! i love you all!!#ive just been thinking about this a lot... i needed to get it out there. you all shine so brightly!!! we shall be fine!!! have a good week!#sorry if this is out of nowhere but if there's anything about me you should know it's that i'm the 'hey dont cry 8 billion people on earth-#ok?' post. idk i just find great joy in knowing others are out there thriving and finding a daily delight yknow i love humanity!!
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Hi, I'm sorry you're sad right now 🫂 Have you paused recently to consider that you are good and nice and 💓💓💓 friend?
For prompts, more Michael wings maybe? Can never have enough Michael wings. Or a Michael and Adam date on the moon?
i promise this was meant to be a doodle. i swear when i started to sketch it up i told myself it was gonna be a doodle to cheer myself up. it wasn't a doodle. but it did cheer me up!! so 50/50 ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ so we get more michael wings!! really hope you like it!! (and thank you so much for being so sweet you really did make me feel a lot better that day 💜💜)
#hey i got an ask#supernatural#midam#michael spn#adam milligan#my art#it's so funny i was so convinced that this was gonna be a doodle that i didn't even pull up any references which i think you can kinda tell#by my wonky anatomy akdlsdksl#also! while i did this i remembered it was you that gave me the push i needed to draw michael's wings for the first time!!#it was one of the pieces i was actually really really proud of and i still like it a lot!! and it was a request from you!! so thank you :3#you're lovely ily 💜💜💜💜#(side note i cannot find for the life of me find that post i've searched everywhere for it and it's just. gone. disappeared.#doesn't turn up in either my ask tag or my art tag which is??? so weird?? because i definitely haven't deleted it! weird. and sad#cause i wanted to find it again and i couldn't :c)
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Ya know. I spent most of my life with horrible painful soul-crushing social anxiety.
And after about 25 years of continuous hard work, suddenly, people started pointing out - to my utter bafflement - that I had, in fact, achieved my lifelong dream of being charismatic. I'm 29 now; I feel comfortable in most social situations, and it is a very rare person whom I cannot make laugh.
I am, undoubtedly, finally, charismatic.
But do you know what I found?
I found that now that I have an understanding of which social rules serve which functions -- Now that I have an understanding of just how much damage my awkwardness was doing to people, well,
I found that, actually, my awkwardness never really hurt anyone at all. People were just judgmental dicks to me about it.
Now that I have the skill-level to (most of the time) creatively vocalize what is in my head as soon as I think it and without fear, I can confirm once and for all what I had always suspected:
I was worth talking to when I was quiet.
I was worth talking to when I was awkward, and when the words in my head took time and patience to hear, and when most of my jokes didn't land. I was worth talking to the whole time.
So I just... I hope that if you've ever wondered whether you are worth communicating with, the answer is yes. Absolutely yes. Each of us has a soul worth sharing - and if you and I were talking, I would happily wait for you to speak (or communicate in other ways) without condescending, and I would never shame you for that harmless awkwardness that so many people feel the need to violently stomp out.
You are worth talking to. You just are. And you deserve people who will speak to you with kindness, with patience, and with the basic immutable respect owed to all people.
(I talk about this with some frequency, both on tumblr and in real life. At some point, maybe I'll gather all my thoughts on the matter into one post. At some point, I wrote about my personal experience trying to build my social skill. But I felt the need to say at least a little bit tonight after seeing this other lovely post, and I'm glad I did. It will happen again.)
#original#social anxiety#autism#that one post#actually autistic#self-diagnosis is valid - in case that last tag implies otherwise to anyone. i think it just denotes i am an autistic and not just an ally.#social skills#socially awkward#socially anxious#autistic positivity#autism positivity#like actually genuinely who does it hurt if i tell a joke that doesn't land? esp if the joke is not about another person#this is not a live comedy show this is life ya gotta learn to say 'ah well they can't all be golden!'#which btw is a line i use when my own jokes don't land and it usually plays pretty well actually. i've got a higher hit rate but#genuinely they just can't all be good! anyway i go into that in the post linked at the end there i think#people can tell when you're not sure of yourself socially and a lot of folks instinctively use that against you. and i am here to say that#it's fucked up that they are doing that and they need to step off actually. imagine getting to decide on which social cues are#acceptable and then using that power to be unkind. fuckin gross. i regret so deeply each time in my life i have made that choice.#being a kid who is abused like that so often it was eager to power trip when i met kids more awkward than myself. but it was wrong#and i regret it. and i am proud to say i haven't done that in a long time and instead when i find myself with that power i try to say#actually what do YOU want? to the people shyer than me.#i'm pretty rad now is what i'm saying lol#like all the ways that having a good social stat has improved my life just made me realize what bullshit it is that this was necessary#doing what I did is not desirable or possible for everyone. they deserve just as much out of life as i do.#side note: i think I've actually surpassed a lot of neurotypicals who had never even had to think about social rules 🤣.#like I feel no competition with other people who have struggled socially but now that I'm more charming than people who were dicks to me#I do feel like fuck you!! I win!!!! I can finally see enough of the full picture to say that your arbitrary rules were FUCKING ARBITRARY#I'm also aware of the fact that not everyone finds me charismatic but i am. in all the ways that matter to me. and I'm still growing!#note to future jack: you did save these posts in your notes app on the day this was written.#tbh i am often still awkward i am just not sorry anymore if i'm not hurting ppl. 'confident and awkward' really throws 'em for a loop! XD
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God, I will never not enjoy how surprised nearly all my younger students get when they find out how much I know about video games. Like... but you're my teacher... and you're nearly 30... and you're a woman... how can this be??? 🤯
#my favorite thing is when they start trying to convince me to play their favorite games and report back to them about what i thought of them#it's so cute#plus honestly they already normally get so shocked when they see my gaming laptop... then they find out i actually use it hahaha#i am proud of the fact that i've been told i type fast by 12 year olds... that is a real compliment... they type SO fast themselves#god... on another note one little girl once saw my laptop stickers and asked me what year i graduated from miskatonic university#and then i told her it's a fictional school and she said “oh so you didn't go to the college of winterhold either?” 😂#once one kid asked me if i have a husband and kids and when i said no to both of those she goes “oh i guess you're alone” 😂😂#and then i told her i live with my two best friends and we mostly play video games and board games and tabletop rpgs all day#and then she said she wants to do that too lol#i told her she should do whatever she thinks will make her happy ofc#it is just amusing when kids meet an adult who doesn't act the way they expect... but honestly they adapt to new info so fast#i mean ofc they do they are designed to learn basically everything is new to them#they are funny because they get so shocked and then instantly recover
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by pure evil accident taob zuko's current mental state is the exact same as the one ive been stuck in for the past few weeks and that's a bit funny to me. like i started writing this chapter months ago and knew what i was doing with it even longer ago and suddenly ive manifested it into reality. we are both facing the horrors rn
#when the angry character finally learns to acknowledge their rage not as its own problem but as a coping mechanism to the problem#& faces at once the relief of finding the source of all this anger & the horror of realising that the anger itself was never the final boss#and it leaves them in a depressive state where they actually MISS the anger because at least that was active and - in a sense - dignified#whereas this just feels stilted and mopey and like each day is passing and you're losing time doing nothing#but you cant shake it anyway and wow im no longer talking about zuko!!!! we stay embarassing ourselves over taob!!!!#like i realised just now while staring off into space stirring my tea that the reason this particular depressive episode has hit me so hard#(aside the fact it's been a pretty extreme one and my paranoia has rlly flared up to the point ive felt honest to god CRAZY lately haha)#is because it's so DIFFERENT to how i usually respond to feeling like this#like normally my temper gets very quick and i completely isolate and i get mean and sharp#and i convince myself that everyone is out to get me and/or hates me and therefore i must manipulate everyone in my life#and ofc NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE A GOOD RESPONSE. I AM NOT PROUD OF THEM#THEY ARE ALSO NOT NEARLY AS BAD AS HOW I USED TO BE HENCE I KNOW I AM GETTING BETTER#SLOWLY PAINFULLY WITH MY NAILS DIGGING IN THE DIRT BUT I AM GETTING BETTER ALL THE SAME#but STILL despite how awful those things are they're also very external. like i hurt the people around me in order to protect myself#and there's a dignity to that. there's more control there even if ultimately it's a lack of control causing it#like i have some fucked opinions from my upbringing and ik that like im quite a selfish person and it's bc i was raised to truly believe#that hurting others is always optimal over letting myself be seen as weak. like if my options are to hurt someone even someone i love#or let myself be vulnerable then sometimes i STILL will pick the former (it used to be all the time though <3 progress is progress)#and anger has always been sold to me as a very dignified STRONG emotion and it's how you're SUPPOSED to respond to badness#otherwise you're weak and a baby and pathetic etc etc#and just bc you know something is wrong doesnt mean you didnt internalise the fuck out of it anyway#like i will always see anger as the 'dignified' emotion and unlearning it regardless of that has been one of the hardest things ive done#('wow hella your own journey with mental illness is the literal exact same as taob zuko's-' i will hospitalise the both of us)#whereas currently ive just been sad and pathetic and oversharing to anyone who will listen and desperate for someone to look at me#and be like 'you're not okay' and to fix it FOR ME. like im not ANGRY im SAD and im not used to that response#AND GUESS WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS THIS CHAPTER BY PURE FUCKING COINCIDENCE?? LITERALLY WHAT#like it's been happening for a few chapters that we're finally moving from anger to sadness on my unofficial healing chart#ever since zuko's outburst with hakoda when zi se had that tantrum#but this is the first time we see Sad Coping Mechanism as a response to a problem instead of Angry Coping Mechanism#taob updates
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Hi, just going to come clean with you. I read your story and it really triggered me for some reason? You keep hinting at a reader 'backstory' and that trend is getting so old. Giving the reader a backstory literally takes away the whole essence of it being an X READER. I was not/never will be a nurse and I don't see why people like to put readers in someone else's shoes like god damn, just make it a Syntax x OC fanfic, its not that hard, we won't be upset or mad at you for making something self indulgent.
Literally. You wrote in the tags??? That it was self indulgent?? That self indulgent shit go woo?? Honey. Just come clean with US. It's really pissing me off.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
uwu
no <3
#sorry buddy. last time i made an OC was in 2010 so#there's no way i can know the actual reader's backstories and find a way to incorporate that into the story#but i dont want Y/N to be a blank slate#common courtesy#i had to give readers something to work with#i'd explain myself further but i think the readers understand completely.#also if you dont like. dont read. simple as that <3#also first hate comment in awhile DAMN I LOVE YOU ANON#ask#beau answers#you must be a novice reader because there are millions of fics just like mine that you have yet to complain about#but like. please dont because they dont deserve your harassment#we are making shit on our own for FREE with our own damn imagination#writing fanfiction is literally one of they VERY FEW things i'm actually proud of myself about#so watch me skip off into the sunset with my fic and leave you behind#or i'll drag you with me and you'll see how it ends LIKE A SOLDIER SO BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUP I KNOW YOU'RE NOT LEAVING JUST OUT OF SPITE
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OPEN STARTER | Patrick Finch
"I condone lying. I encourage it, even. I recommend it. I could hardly live without it."
#;open starter#the wolf;patrick#the wolf;open#he's always the most difficult one GOSH#also you must envision he's saying this with this weird open deadpan stare where he#well how do i put it: he's clearly fucking with you but he does it with such an open genuine expression#i mean he does condone lying he's not lying here (LKDSG!!!) but he is also fucking around#so this is Patrick he's 37 or anywhere around that age he's agender primarily he/him pronouns bc whatever yknow#the agender vibes of WHATEVER i know what i'm talking about trust me i have a phd in agenderism#anyways he's an informant but about as unorthodox as you can imagine he's just fucking around and finding out frankly#very depressed very jumpy very good at hiding it lmao he's my darling ♥#he is very motherly somehow i can't explain it#he has somewhat of a history in accidentally attempting to adopt powerful young women i don't know why he???#knee-jerks into wanting to be a mother figure i don't know him that well you guys#like he met suki (ferre's kamipyre) for a few minutes one time and#days after he was wondering if she'd wore a jacket because it was cold out like--#men don't get the same kindness if you're a charming kind-hearted competent warm and humorous DAD kind of guy he's unfortunately#emotionally attracted to you? unfortunately because he hates it~ but if you're any other kind of guy you're just... you're some guy to him#yes if you're young he'll adopt you too but begrudgingly-- KLDGFGKLFDHGJF#if you're a they/them you're his kid already are you kidding that's your mum#OH I JUST HAD A TERRIBLE THOUGHT so do you know om*g*verse?? regardless of how you feel about it#it do be a thing and i just had this horrible thought about how if pat were a real guy in an established canon#he'd probs get the feminisation treatment amiright?? NO LISTEN HE USED TO BE A HUGE WOLF#AND HE'S ACTUALLY FILLED WITH SO MUCH RAGE AND WRONGED PRIDE#patrick is gentle when he likes you and because he's Smart he doesn't just BITE out of nowhere he's always been like that#Fenris was known for being INCREDIBLY well-spoken BUT ALSO A HUGE PROUD WOLF#LIKE BIG WOLF-- it doesn't show but he's Very Proud and STRONG and ??????#;queue#i picked a gif came back and realized i lost it there for a sec NO MATTER makes for good entertainment
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ben platt was so right when he said (to paraphrase) your heart can break so much that it breaks open and lets love in. that's 2023 to me baby.
#experienced Real grief and heartbreak for the first time in my life#lived alone for most of the year and really Grew Up because of it#lost the three people i was closest with and lost the person i became for them to love me (which is a good thing)#learned a lot about art and life and myself and what it means to Be Alive.#was this year objectively bad for me??? look at all my personal posts honey.#but i feel like i've Grown so much and i'm really proud of myself not Despite everything that happened but because of it#i'm not ashamed to have loved and made choices and to have been wrong about So Many Things!!! i am so young and always learning!!!#i feel like Myself for the first time in Years. and for the first time since i can remember i genuinely feel Fine.#a lot of things are bad and i have bad days (today was one of them) but!!! i am hopeful and i am Determined to survive and be happy.#i do not have to be great!!! i do not have to be good!!! i simply have to be and that is enough!!!#one thing i said this year that haunts me is when the person i was in love with told me i was being silly for having a panic attack#and i responded with 'why should i feel silly for experiencing true emotion?'. and that's just really guided me since i said it.#ANYWAYS. insane year for me. this time last year i was madly in love and denying So Much and this year i am Accepting and loving what i have#this has been the return of isaac's insane personal posts. which are happening So Much Less due to the healing but hey!! we ball!!#i love you friends who live in my phone <3 if you're still reading happy new year and may you find whatever you're searching for <3
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