#finally was like oh okay maybe i need to do it again
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The comments were usual. Frequent even. Bruce bore them all with a smile, either acting like a bored teenager forced to attend the events he had planned, or blushing, sculpting the Brucie persona before he had even reached his twenties.
“Oh Brucie!!!” They would twitter at him, women and men alike, pawing at his arms, his shoulders, chest, some even boldly reaching for his ass, snaking an arm around him, pulling him closer. “You look delicious baby.” They’d murmur, pur, coo over him.
Alfred would get rightfully angry over the comments, when Bruce told him, but after the anger led to nothing, Bruce stopped coming home with the stories. He just went to bed, showering off all the handprints and touches.
And then Dick came along.
“Bruuuuuuuuuce!” The nine year old whined, hissing the ending syllable like a snake. “I wanna gooooo!!!” Bruce chuckled lightly, fixing his cuffs in the mirror.
“I highly doubt it chum.” He murmured, glancing over at his ward, seated on the foot of his bed. Dick pouted, the full package; lip out and arms crossed, and Bruce laughed, walking over to grab his tie and ruffle the boys hair.
“Its a boring Gala, bud. Not too exciting.” Dick huffed, watching as Bruce expertly wound the tie around his neck, swinging the sides over and through.
“Its a pARty!” He pointed out. “And I wanna go.” Bruce hummed to show he was listening, buttoning up the bottom two buttons of his suit, before letting his hands drop to his side.
He sighed. “Do you want to wear a suit?” Dick’s eyes sparked up with excitement before he wrinkled his nose.
“Do I hafta?” He complained. Bruce laughed, turning to face him.
“Yes. Its a formal event. Suit, or you’re not coming.” The threat of a suit made the words take a moment to sink in, but once they did Dick rocketeded across the room, flying into Bruce’s arms.
“For real???” He squealed, all excitement and little kid energy. “Hell yeah!” He bolted out the door to his own room before Bruce could so much as open his mouth to chide “language.”
The car ride over was a new level of annoyance Bruce didn't know existed, as Dick bounced around in his seat, eagerly looking out the window for the first glimpse of his first “real adult party”. Still, he couldn't help but smile at Dick's unbridled joy.
Hank, Bruce’s chauffeur, bore all of it with a smile, regaling Dick with stories of picking up Bruce when he was a teenager, and all the college hell, while Dick cackled and Bruce rolled his eyes. But, then again, Hank had his own three kids at home, and was marginally more used to the watts of energy than Bruce was.
“Here ya are Mr. Wayne.” Hank finally cut off all of Dick’s peppering questions about Bruce’s college stories, a relief, as Hank was really getting into the bad stuff, or in Dicks mind, the good stuff, and Bruce hopped out, opening the door for his son. “Thank you!” Dick twittered as he leapt out, waving.
Hank chuckled, dipping his hat. “Of course Mr. Wayne, hope you have a fun night.” Dick grinned back, and it surprised Bruce that he was so okay with hank calling him “Wayne.” But, then again, his boy and the driver seemed to have an easier relationship. Bruce certainly wasn't going to call him out.
It did something to him, flooded his body with something heavy and warm, to hear Dick be called “Wayne”. Maybe a primal thing, an old animal instinct, the need to claim and own and have Dick. Dick was his son, maybe not by blood, but by… everything and anything Dick allowed him to have.
“B!” Dick chirped, already a few feet up the steps, a frown on his face as he looked back. Bruce realized he’d been lost in thought at the side of the road.
“Coming chum.” He agreed quickly, hurrying to his wards side before the entered.
“Woah.” Dick breathed, the second they breached the door, and Bruce silently agreed. Gala’s weren’t fun for a plethora of reasons, but they were always beautiful.
Almost immediately though, camera’s swarmed him, not only flashes of light but also of sickeningly white teeth, too wide mouths, pale skin pawing for his attention.
“Brucie, darling!!!” One man twittered, and they successfully separated them, dragging Bruce over to one gaggle of rich twats while a few others circled Dick. Dick seemed to be taking it remarkably well, nodding politely and smiling, shaking hands, but his eyes darted to Bruce every few seconds, questions in his eyes.
“Excuse me-” Bruce brushed past his virus of people and forced his way beside Dick, kneeling so he was at eye level.
“Everything alright?” he murmured quietly, tucking Dick into his space, warding off others. He almost wanted to say “i told you so” but figured it’d only do more harm than good. Pointing it out when Dick was clearly overwhelmed would not be helpful, or nice in any capacity.
Dick nodded, shoulders imperceptibly dropping in relief as he allowed himself to be caged by Bruce’s body. “Y-yeah. Fine. Better now.” Bruce let the unspoken words hang between them, “-that you’re here”, and nodded instead, standing.
“Stay close.” he flicked his fingers and Dick obediently stepped closer, pushing into Bruce’s space with hardly a thought.
And, Bruce realized quietly, he didn't mind either. Having people in his space… touch had never been his thing, after his parents death. Especially not when that touch came from unsympathetic elites after his parents money. But with Dick… it was, easier. Nice.
The rest of the night went by a little better, and Dick even stepped away a few feet, always close by, but straying enough that he wasn't hiding behind Bruce’s legs. In his shadow. It was then that it happened.
“Oh aren’t you just beautiful.” The words came from Mrs. Braught, a well known widow with enough wealth to compete with the Drakes, if not Waynes. She was… known for her affinity to younger men, boys, really, and Bruce had only managed to not make the cut because he had known, as a boy, and avoided her, and wasn’t as “appealing” to her, due to his depression.
Dick stiffened slightly at the words, but still offered her a smile, polite, as always. The reaction made Bruce relax marginally. He was okay, he was handling it, just like Bruce had.
But… but Dick’s smile was strained, his shoulders inching near his ears, and there was a definite tilt to him, a lean away from Braught that was easy to miss. But not to Bruce.
Before he knew what he was doing, Bruce was at his wards side- no, in front of him, shoving Dick behind his legs. Dick stumbled, lightly, at the sudden push, but quickly straightened, grabbing the back of Bruce’s coat. The trembling Bruce could feel through the fabric was enough to make him see red.
The Brucie persona was gone, slipping off without a singe thought, fast enough that Bruce wondered for a fraction of a second if it had even been on when he had entered the Gala, and Bruce realized it wasn't just Dick’s hand trembling, but Bruce’s whole body.
His fists curled, hard enough that his knuckles turned white, jaw clenched to the point where his teeth squeaked, entire body quivering with rage.
Mrs. Braught glanced up, surprised, almost caught off guard even, as she realized Brucie Wayne wasn't there for a pleasant hello, but Bruce was there, a man- no, a father, furious at what was being said about his son.
Bruce could hear, faintly, as though through water, people beginning to whisper, eyes wide as the elites gathered around, no one bold enough to step in, and no one truly believing Brucie would do anything.
Bruce didn't care. Dick was his, and he would not allow the traumas of the past to repeat, though he had failed to stop him from being orphaned. No more. He vowed, hands fisting at his sides. He had failed Dick in the one, true way that mattered, keeping his family, but he would not fail him any other way. Not in the ways Bruce was failed.
His hand began to move back on its own accord, when a tiny, stubborn hand caught it, grabbed his wrist. Bruce looked down in surprise to find Dick staring up him solemnly, shaking his head.
Before Bruce could say something, another woman, another widow Bruce recognized as Mrs. Kershaw, stepped forward, fire bright in her weathered eyes.
“You go on and git out of here Gertrude, before I tar your hide.” She hissed, and Bruce recalled how her own daughter had been raped and murdered when she had been barely thirteen. Gertrude knew it too, and backed away, scurrying for the exit. Mrs. Kershaw made sure she left, eyes kind when she glanced at Bruce, a subtle nod of solidarity her only acknowledgement.
Dick tugged on his hand, but Bruce ignored him, sending a viscous glare at anyone who dared step too close.
“Dad.” Dicks voice was soft, so soft, but proud too, grateful. That finally dragged Bruce from his never ending anger, and he looked down. Down at those wide blue eyes, that head of messy black curls.
“Come on Dad.” Dick whispered quietly, eyes darting around nervously at all the people, the cameras, but always going back to Bruce. Meeting his eyes.
Bruce bent down and scooped his son into his arms, uncaring of who saw, who cared. He blocked his son off from the world, heading for the exit, one of the waitstaff, Aisha, nodding at him to inform him Hank had been called.
“Thanks Dad.” Dick murmured, face buried against Bruce’s neck, and Bruce’s arms tightened around him, heading out into the streets of Gotham with his son cradled to his chest.
“I’ll always protect you chum.” He swore, and something in his heart lightened at the Justice he was doing for his son, but also for his younger self. “I will always protect you.”
thanks to @frownyalfred and @astorianyxkings for the idea!
#batfam#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#it makes me sick that these people exist#and a great way to show it is through fictional characters ig#mrs. kershaw is a recurring oc of mine#(meaning ive written her name down once before)#and i honestly love her#girlboss#maybe after i finish writing all my batman fics she'll have an actual backstory and everything#anyway#good dad bruce wayne
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ok... so i've seen your amazing college fling works for seungcheol, jeonghan, and joshua.... but what about one for hoshi 👉👈
ONCE AGAIN I LOVE YOUR WRITING!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
WARNINGS: freshmen!hoshi, late night practices, burn-out, shyness, sunbae!reader, fluff, a lil bit of angst.
WC: 2.8k of this... judge me 🗣needed to divide this into parts...
part 1 / part 2
college fling!hoshi that you clocked that he was a freshman by the very moment he stepped into the dance practice room. it started with the smell, honestly. freshman reek—like nervous sweat and too much axe body spray, paired with the faintest whiff of fear. baggy-ass hoodie that practically swallowed his arms, hands shoved deep in his pockets like they’d get fined if they came out, sneakers so new they squeaked against the gym floor. he looked young. not in a bad way, just in that “i’m not used to being left unsupervised” way.
he stood in the doorway like he didn’t know what to do with himself. everyone else was stretching, pulling their limbs into shapes human joints probably weren’t meant for, and there he was, swaying on the balls of his feet like a kid waiting to ask if they could borrow a crayon.
“you lost?” you called out, not even looking up from where you were sitting, tying your shoelaces.
“huh? n-no, i’m, uh—this is intro to hip-hop?”
the way he said it like a question had you biting back a grin. “yeah, you’re in the right place. c’mon in before the instructor roasts your ass for lurking.”
he shuffled in, taking a spot in the back corner like he was hoping no one would notice him. “i'm invisible if i stand still enough”, he thinks. but of course, everyone noticed him. new kid energy was impossible to ignore, and to top it off, he had that awkwardly cute thing going on. messy bangs falling into his eyes, face pink like he was one awkward comment away from combusting. his eyes, wide and curious, darting around like he was mentally cataloging every single thing in the room.
“you got a name, freshman?” you asked, leaning back on your hands as you watched him.
he blinked, like he didn’t realize you were still talking to him. “oh, uh, hoshi. i mean, soonyoung. but people call me hoshi.”
“cool. you dance before, hoshi?”
“alright, new guy!” the prof clapped his hands, dragging everyone’s attention. “show us a little freestyle! don't be shy...”
college fling!hoshi who freezes mid-blink, still thinking about your question. clutching his backpack straps so hard you thought they might snap. he turned to you, wide-eyed and panicked, like you could save him from the impending doom.
“relax,” you whispered, stepping closer, your voice low enough that only he could hear. “you do this and sunbae’s buying you dinner. whatever you want. ramen, fried chicken, you name it.”
he blinked, like the concept of being spoiled by you was enough to short-circuit his brain, but there was something there. a spark. like maybe he didn’t wanna flop in front of you.
“okay,” he mumbled, and you gave him a grin that could probably power a small city.
“attaboy,” you said, patting his shoulder as you turned back to the class.
by the end of the first class, he’d loosened up a bit—mostly because the instructor made everyone run through improv drills, and there was no room for shyness when you were flailing around to some experimental old-school rap track. you caught him sneaking glances at you when he thought you weren’t looking.
college fling!hoshi who finally zipped up his backpack after what felt like an eternity, stood up, and immediately knocked over a water bottle with his foot. he muttered a quick, shy “sorry,” barely glancing at the offended plastic, and shuffled toward you. his shoulders were stiff, his hands gripping the straps of his backpack like they were the only things tethering him to this earth. you gave him a once-over, your phone in one hand, and a smirk playing at your lips. “you survived,” you said casually, and his grin was so tiny you almost missed it.
college fling!hoshi who started walking alongside you, a little too close like he didn’t know how to pace himself yet. every few steps, his elbow brushed yours, and he’d shift just enough to make it obvious he noticed. you didn’t say anything—just side-eyed him with a teasing smile that had his ears turning red.
college fling!hoshi who paused outside the building with you, his fingers fidgeting with a loose thread on his sleeve as he asked, “so, uh… what do you like to eat?” his voice was barely louder than the passing breeze. you raised an eyebrow at him, tucking your phone into your pocket. “you’re really gonna let me pick, huh?” he nodded, determined, even as he shuffled his feet. “you said you’d spoil me,” he countered, and for the first time, there was a flicker of sass in his tone. you liked it.
college fling!hoshi who almost tripped on his untied shoelace when you said you’d pick a place, his backpack slipping off one shoulder as he bent down to fix it. he was mumbling something about bad luck when you crouched beside him, yanking the lace from his hands and tying it with a quick knot. “you’re gonna kill yourself before dinner at this rate,” you said, and the way he stared at you—wide-eyed, lips parted—made it feel like you’d just handed him the keys to the kingdom.
college fling!hoshi who sat across from you at the tiny chicken shop, looking at the menu like it was a math test. “it’s just chicken, dude,” you teased, propping your chin in your hand. he fumbled with the laminated page, finally blurting, “but what if I pick something too spicy?” you laughed, shaking your head. “okay, rookie, let me help you out.” you ended up ordering for both of you, and when the dish came, his eyes lit up.
college fling!hoshi who distractly puts too much sauce on his chicken wing and doesn’t notice because he was too busy grinning at your stories. “wait, wait—so you fell during a performance?” he asked, the sauce at the corner of his mouth. you groaned, throwing a napkin at him. “it wasn’t just a fall, okay? it was a crash,” you admitted, and his laugh was so loud the couple at the next table glanced over. “stop making fun of me or I’ll make you pay,” you threatened, and his face instantly sobered. “wait, what?”
college fling!hoshi who insisted on paying despite your earlier threats. he pulled out his wallet like it was some grand declaration of independence, only to hesitate when he realized he didn’t have enough cash. “um…” he started, cheeks burning. you rolled your eyes and handed your card to the cashier before he could protest. “rookie rule number one,” you said smugly, “always check your wallet before acting like a big shot.” he muttered something about repaying you, and you just laughed, nudging him toward the door.
college fling!hoshi who got lost again on the way back to his dorm, despite the fact that he’d been living there for a week. “are you serious right now?” you asked, watching him squint at the campus map on his phone. he scratched the back of his head, mumbling, “it all kinda looks the same at night.” sighing, you grabbed his phone, pulled up the map yourself, and started walking. “come on, hoshi-ya you’re hopeless.”
college fling!hoshi who walked beside you, hands in his pockets, quietly humming a tune you didn’t recognize. “what’s that?” you asked, tilting your head toward him. his eyes widened like he’d been caught. “oh, uh, just something I made up,” he admittedquietly. you stopped in your tracks, turning to him with a grin. “wait, you write music?” he shrugged, suddenly bashful. “a little… it’s not a big deal.” you nudged him with your shoulder. “nah, that’s cool as hell. show me sometime?”
college fling!hoshi who hesitated outside his dorm door, hand hovering over the handle. “thanks for… you know, today,” he said, glancing at you shyly. “and dinner.” you smirked, crossing your arms. “you earned it, rookie. but next time, you’re paying.” his smile stretched wide, and for a moment, he just stood there, like he didn’t want to go in. finally, he nodded, fumbling with the key. “goodnight, sunbae,” he said softly, and you had to resist the urge to ruffle his hair as you turned to leave.
college fling!hoshi who always trails behind you, holding onto the strap of your backpack like a lost puppy. “you’re gonna rip it, you know,” you tell him, but he just grins and tightens his grip. “you’re my sunbae. gotta make sure I don’t lose you.” it’s so dumb and cheesy that you flick his forehead, but your chest feels warmer anyway.
college fling!hoshi who managed to charm his way into your friend group like he’d been there all along. one of your music department friends spotted him loitering outside your lecture hall and asked, “is that the guy you’ve been dragging around campus?” you rolled your eyes, but hoshi smiled like he’d just won an award. “that’s me!” he said proudly, and somehow by the end of the conversation, they were swapping playlist recommendations.
college fling!hoshi who shows up at your dorm one night with a bruised knee and a sheepish smile. “i tripped during practice,” he admits, wincing as you drag him inside. “tripped or collapsed?” you demand, pointing at the ice pack in his hands. he shrugs, trying to play it off, but you’re already crouched in front of him, scolding him as you press the ice to his knee. “you should stop, sunbae its worried about you.” you mutter, and when he mumbles, “i’ll be fine,” you glare at him until he mutters an apology instead.
college fling!hoshi who gets into his first real argument with you after you find him practicing in an empty studio way past midnight. “what the hell are you doing?” you snap, flipping on the lights to find him mid-spin, sweat dripping down his face. “just a bit more,” he protests, breathless. “i need to get this routine perfect.” but you’re not having it. “perfect doesn’t matter if you’re too dead to perform, hoshi!” he flinches, wide-eyed, but you don’t stop. “you can’t keep pushing yourself like this. stop before you break something.” he looks at you, frustrated, and finally, he slumps onto the floor, whispering, “sorry, sunbae.”
college fling!hoshi who randomly shows up with snacks between your classes. “figured you’d be hungry,” he says, handing you a convenience store bag. you peek inside—your favorite drink and a pack of cookies. “didn’t know you were trying to bribe me,” you tease, taking a bite. “is it working?” he asks, grinning, and when you give him a thumbs-up, he beams like a kid on christmas morning.
college fling!hoshi who ends up crashing at your dorm after a long night of studying. he’s sprawled on your bed, one arm thrown over his face, while you sit cross-legged on the floor, typing away at your laptop. “you’re gonna fail if you don’t actually read the material,” you say, glancing up. he groans, rolling onto his side. “then i’ll just ask you to tutor me again,” he says, smirking, and you chuck a pillow at his head.
college fling!hoshi who catches you off-guard one day by slipping his jacket over your shoulders during a chilly walk across campus. “you looked cold,” he says simply, his voice softer than usual. you pull the fabric tighter around you, the faint scent of him lingering on it, and when you glance at him, he’s pretending to be super interested in a tree. “thanks,” you say quietly, and he shrugs, his ears turning pink as he mutters, “anytime, sunbae.”
college fling!hoshi who came back one day to the practice room after a late practice, two cans of soda in hand, humming to himself. “sunbae, I got—” his voice cut off when he saw you slouched on the floor, one hand clutching your forehead. “y/n?” he rushed over, dropping the sodas with a dull clunk. crouching in front of you, his voice softened. “what’s wrong? are you okay?” you waved him off weakly. “just tired. it’s nothing.” but he didn’t buy it for a second.
college fling!hoshi who gently pried your hand away from your forehead, his fingers brushing against yours. “you’re burning up,” he said, his brow furrowing. “why didn’t you say anything?” you tried to sit up straighter, shrugging like it wasn’t a big deal. “it’s fine, really. just pushed too hard today.” his expression tightened. “this isn’t fine, y/n. you shouldn’t have kept going if you felt like this.”
college fling!hoshi who helped you lean back against the mirror. “stay still, okay?” he murmured, crouching next to you. you gave him a small smile, trying to lighten the mood. “you’re acting like I’m dying, hoshi.” he didn’t laugh, his lips pressing into a thin line. “don’t joke about that,” he said quietly, his eyes scanning your face for any signs of improvement.
college fling!hoshi who let you rest your head against his shoulder when you slumped forward again. “here, like this,” he said softly, adjusting so you were cradled in his arms. his hands were steady, one supporting your back and the other brushing a strand of hair out of your face. “just relax. you’re safe.” he started gently blowing on your face, the cool air soothing your heated skin. “better?” he whispered, his voice close enough to send a strange flutter through your chest.
college fling!hoshi who stayed with you until you could sit up on your own again, his arm still lingering behind your back just in case. “you scared me,” he admitted, his voice quieter than you’d ever heard it. “i thought… what if something happened and I wasn’t here?” you blinked up at him, guilt bubbling in your stomach. “sorry,” you muttered. his hand found yours, squeezing it gently. “just don’t do it again, okay? i mean it, you always scold me for practicing too late...”
college fling!hoshi who refused to let you walk home by yourself, no matter how many times you insisted you were fine. “nope, not happening,” he said firmly, slipping your bag over his shoulder along with his own. “if you collapse halfway there, what am I supposed to do? carry you like a princess?” you snorted, but the teasing tone in his voice couldn’t hide the worry in his eyes.
“you know, I could really get used to you carrying me around,” you said, nudging him playfully with your shoulder. he raised an eyebrow, glancing at you. “oh, really?” he asked, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “yeah,” you said, deadpan, “I mean, who wouldn’t want a cute guy carrying them everywhere?”
college fling!hoshi who, despite the teasing tone in your voice, caught that little glint in your eye. “alright, then,” he said, voice suddenly serious, as he paused in front of you. “come here.” without waiting for a response, he slid his arms under your knees and around your back. you yelped in surprise, but before you could protest, he had you lifted off the ground like you were weightless. “you wanted it, right?” he said with a grin, carrying you like it was nothing. “not a word out of you until we get to your dorm.”
“you’re a natural at this,” you teased, your chin resting on his shoulder as you looked up at him. “yeah, well, someone’s gotta keep you from passing out on me,” he muttered, but his cheeks were flushed, and his hands felt like they were holding you just a bit too tightly. “this isn’t bad,” you added with a smirk, “maybe I’ll start making demands. like, no more walking for me from now on.”
he blushed at your joke but didn’t miss a beat. “you sure about that?” he asked, glancing down at you with a sly smile. you nodded, playing along. “definitely. I’m a princess now. I’ll need snacks, water, a blanket... and don’t forget the back rubs.” hoshi shook his head, clearly trying to hide his amusement. “I’m pretty sure you’re taking this way too far, but okay,” he said, adjusting his grip on you. “I can do all that...”
“deal. but only if you don’t drop me halfway there,” you teased. hoshi’s grip tightened, his voice lowering a little. “I’ll never drop you, sunbae.”
college fling!hoshi who made it to your dorm room, still carrying you as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “I should’ve known you’d enjoy this,” he said, shaking his head as he set you down on your bed. “enjoy what?” you asked innocently, grinning up at him. “this whole ‘being carried around’ thing,” he said, still laughing a little. you shrugged dramatically.
college fling!hoshi who would come up to you after class, always fussing over you—was your shoulder okay? did you stretch enough? how was your lunch? you’d always brush it off, sulking a little at the way he took care of you like it was his full-time job.
#seventeen imagines#seventeen reactions#seventeen x reader#seventeen scenarios#seventeen headcanons#svt imagines#seventeen#seventeen smut#svt smut#hoshi fluff#hoshi fanfic#hoshi drabble#hoshi x reader#hoshi x you#hoshi x y/n#hoshi headcanon#hoshi drabbles#hoshi imagines#hoshi reaction#soonyoung fluff#soonyoung x reader#soonyoung imagines#soonyoung seventeen
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heyyy i love your writing a lot like obssesed but like i have a request where matt and nick talks about how they know from the beginning chris loved the reader even tho he used to deny it all the time
i hope you like it!! <3
obvious — chris sturniolo
Chris always rolled his eyes whenever Matt or Nick would bring it up. For years, they’d been relentless with their teasing, their sly smirks and knowing glances whenever you were around. Chris would always brush them off, claiming they were imagining things. But tonight, sitting on the worn couch in their living room, Matt and Nick weren’t letting it go.
“You’re telling me you never noticed?” Matt asked, leaning forward with a smirk that screamed mischief. “C’mon, Chris, you were so obvious. From day one.”
Chris scoffed, sinking deeper into the couch. “I wasn’t obvious. You guys just love stirring up drama that isn’t there.”
Nick laughed, shaking his head. “Oh, it was there, alright. The way you used to act around her? It was like watching a middle schooler with his first crush. You could barely string a sentence together when she walked into the room.”
Chris crossed his arms defensively. “That’s just because I was caught off guard! She has... an intimidating presence, okay?”
“Intimidating,” Matt repeated, raising an eyebrow. “You mean gorgeous, smart, and the only person who could make you shut up for five seconds.”
Chris rolled his eyes again, but the faint blush creeping up his neck betrayed him.
Nick grinned, sensing victory. “And let’s not forget all the little things you’d do. Like offering to drive her home, even when it was completely out of your way. Or how you’d ‘accidentally’ make too much food just so you could invite her over to eat.”
Chris groaned, running a hand through his hair. “You guys are ridiculous. I was just being nice.”
“Sure,” Matt said with a laugh. “And ‘being nice’ includes learning her favorite coffee order and bringing it to her every other morning?”
Chris opened his mouth to protest but found himself coming up short. Because deep down, he knew they were right.
Nick leaned back, his grin softening. “You might’ve been in denial, but we saw it clear as day. Even when you were pretending she was ‘just a friend,’ the way you looked at her said everything. You were gone for her, man.”
Chris fell silent, his gaze dropping to the floor. For years, he’d convinced himself that his feelings weren’t obvious. That he was being careful, keeping everything under wraps. But maybe he hadn’t been as subtle as he thought.
“She’s not just... anyone,” Chris finally admitted, his voice quiet. “She’s different. She makes me feel... I don’t know, like I want to be better. For her.”
Matt smiled knowingly. “We figured that out a long time ago, bro.”
“And we knew it was only a matter of time before you figured it out too,” Nick added.
Chris sighed, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah, well... better late than never, right?”
Matt and Nick exchanged a look before Matt clapped Chris on the shoulder. “Exactly. Now go tell her, genius.”
Chris didn’t need to be told twice.
tag list: @stuwniolo, @sturnobsessedwh0re, @matts-myloverboy, @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut, @lizzymacdonald06, @asherrisrandom, @sturniolowhore69, @faith5drpepper, @emely9274, @psychologyloverfr, @lovetaylorrussellgrr, @conspiracy-ash, @helpimateenagerinlove, @ghostlythinggoingaround, @sturmatt, @chris-hallelujah, @goingtojohnkramershouseee, @wurlibydominicfike
#spotify#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo x reader#sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x you#nick sturniolo#matt sturniolo fluff#matthew bernard sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matthew sturniolo imagine#matthew sturniolo smut#matthew sturniolo x reader#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets x reader#sturniolo x reader#the sturniolo triplets#the sturniolos#chris sturniolo x reader#chris x y/n#chris x reader#chris smut#christopher sturniolo
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cowboy!rafe x mayors daughter!reader
part 1 here
Warnings: smut, mdni, unprotected s3x (wrap it), praise, nicknames, nippl3 sucking, degrading if you squint sweaty man
Rafe had spent his evening in a east he usually does when being around you.
His hands in his pants touching himself to the thought of you in that dress.
That god damn dress.
He loves when you wear dresses, which is most of the time if not all.
He loves the way they flow on your body, the way they stop just on your thighs or the way that when you sit down and it rides up a bit it shows him what colour panties you’re wearing. God does it get him hot and flustered knowing what the panties he should be taking off look like. Jesus does he want to take them off. See that pretty pussy of yours.
But he know it can’t happen, he knows he can’t do that.
So he has to stick to his hand.
For now at least.
The sun beams down on your skin as you make your way to your porch. Sitting in that swing seat you got for your birthday. You practically live there.
It’s calming to sit there and just swing back and forth. And it also gives a great veiw of Rafe when he’s chopping up wood for your fire for that evening. Your father really does make that poor guy work. Working any job at this point. But Rafe doesn’t care. He wants this job.
He looks so good with that axe in his hands. Muscles flexing as he cuts the wood. His biceps on show due to his white tank top. Which he decides to take off in that moment. Like he wants to tease you more.
Your eyes are immediately drawn to his abs, the way they glisten from the sunlight and sweat. You could just lick them. Maybe when he’s less sweaty. He looks so good, you could just-
“Darlin’ it’s rude to stare.” Rafe’s voice brings you out of the trance and you look up at his face rather than his other body parts. He just smirks as he watches you swing back and forth. Back and forth.
“I wasn’t staring.” You were.
“Mhm sure.” He says as he takes his hat off to rub his for head of any sweat. Guess he does take the hat off.
“I wasn’t!” You say with a small pout, acting like a spoilt child. Well you are spoiled so that parts right at least.
“You know it’s okay if you were. I don’t blame you.” He says as he places the axe on the ground and starts making his way over to you. His boots clacking on the wooden planks of the decking as he reaches in front of you. He towers above you when you stand up, so when you’re sat down. It’s like a mountain and a rock. He leans against the wall as he puts a toothpick in his mouth and fiddles with it. Looking at you. “So when we riding again sweetheart?”
The nickname makes your heart skip a beat as a small blush forms on your cheeks. Making them pink and rosy.
“Oh um, I don’t know. Don’t mind.”
Rafe chuckles and rolls his eyes as he pushes off the wall.
“God you do give up fast.”
“I’m not giving up!” You retaliate as you sit up straight, defending yourself. “I’m just busy.”
“Doing what?” Rafe quickly says back as he gets closer to you. So close his knees are touching the chair you’re sat in. “Cause you look like you’re just sittin’ down to me, darlin’.”
Rafe’s hand comes to your chin as he makes you look up at him. Eyes taking in every feature of your face as his rough thumb rubs your chin.
“Do you know how wild you drive me baby?” Rafe says as he smirks down at you. He’s decided he’s had enough of your back and forth flirting with no outcome. He needs you.
Bad.
“Hmmm no.” You smirk back. Yes you did know. Of course you knew. But you didn’t think it was that bad. “My dad is out.”
“I know.” He replies before he leans down and kisses you. Softly and passionately. Hes wanted to do this for so long and now it’s finally happening. He’s finally getting his wish.
And of course you kiss back. You’ve been waiting for this hair as long as he has.
“Why don’t you show me that pretty room of yours baby?”
Immediately you spring up and slot your hand in his. Leading him to the room.
He wastes no time to push you up against the door as soon as you shut it. Hands finding the hem of your dress and pulling it over your head.
“So pretty f’me.” He says as his kisses move to your neck, biting and sucking. Causing you to whimper and moan as you squirm in his touch. You’ve needed this so much.
His hand slithers down your body before reaching your panties, earning a gasp from you as his finger brushes over your clothes clit.
“So wet for me huh?” He smirks. Almost like he’s proud of himself for making you like this just from kissing you. “Needy girl.”
Both his hands travel to your hips as he looks at you.
“Are you sure about this?” He asks as he scans your eyes for any doubts.
You quickly nod your head and reply a small “Yeah.”
He smiles before picking you up and laying you on the bed. Undoing your bra.
“Fuck you’re so pretty doll.” He says as his lips attach to your nipple.
You’re just a whimpering mess as you play with his hair. Tugging on it slightly as his hands slowly pull down your pants.
“Gonna fuck you so good sweetheart.”
Rafe discards your panties somewhere in the room before working on taking his jeans and pants off. And in a few seconds he’s naked like you. He climbs onto the bed as he holds out his hand.
“I told you I was going to tech you how to ride.”
You pick up on his words and start straddling him. Looking at him as he places his hands back on your hips.
You slowly lower yourself down onto him with a moan. You’ve imagined this for a while. And he is definitely bigger than how you imagined.
“Fuccckkk baby.” Rafe moans out as you start moving up and down. That good feeling building up every time you go back down. “Taking me so well.”
Rafes hands help you move as he watches where he enters you. This is so much better than he imagined. And gosh has he imagined this. A lot.
Your movements get more difficult as you keep trying to ride him. But it’s just too much for you.
“Rafey.” You say with a slight whimper. Immediately he picks up on it and nods.
“Shhh baby. I’ve got you.” He says before flipping you over and getting on top of you. Smirking above you as he renters you.
You moan again as he kisses the corner of your mouth, his thrusts fast and deep.
He needed this so of course he’s not holding back. “Good girl.”
He places a kiss on your forehead as you grip on his bicep. Steadying yourself as he just watches you.
Rafe lets out a moan as your legs start to shake. His finger slowly rubbing your clit, he wants you to cum. He needs it too.
“Cum baby. Cum on my cock.” Rafe says before placing another kiss on your neck.
It doesn’t take you long to cum after that. Just like Rafe wanted.
His thrusts slow down slightly as his dick twitches before painting your walls with his seed.
“Fuck baby.” He says as he kisses your soft lips. Smiling as he lays down next to you, arm wrapping around you as he pulls you closer.
You may regret this decision later.
a/n: there will be a part three 🥳 Divider- @anitalenia
tags: @littlelamy @maybankslover
#cowboy rafe ℧#cowboy rafe cameron#cowboy!rafe#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe#outerbanks rafe#rafe obx#rafe cameron scenarios#rafe cameron smut#rafe au#rafe cameron au#rafe cameron story#rafe cameron blurb
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›› there must be a good reason that you're gone
sypnosis -» we don't talk anymore like we used to do , what was all of it for?
beware -» angst , nasty break up , going against girl code(?) , twice mentioned, lara x reader mentioned
talks -» for my anon 🫢!! hi missed you soo much
taglist (open) : @nyssalvr @ohmyhaely @vrtualstar @jellaaa @c-yerim
you don't know where you went wrong — did you give too little love? did you not give her enough attention? yet as much as you asked yourself nothing came up nothing answered you
moments that lingered in your mind made it seem like you were the problem yet you never were , sophia has never been loyal as much as you tried to make it seem like , she's always behind your back talking to a new woman
you only reached your breaking point when she started forgetting important dates such as your birthday, your anniversary and the day you both made it official
"now the maknae! hello y/n , the question for you is , have you ever broken up with someone and how did it go" the interviewer asks as he approached you
"이 질문에 대답할 수 있나요? (can we answer this)" nayeon asks looking behind the cameras towards their manager who just nods
"ohh , well uhm I have had one and it really was a bit messy , yet I think that was a very good lesson for me" you answer recalling everything that happened during that night , "우리 막내가 다 컸네요! (our maknae is all grown up)" jihyo says giggling as the rest say all their memories when you first debuted
"that sums it up, again twice everyone!" the host says before you and your group bid goodbye , " one in a million! we are twice!" the group says "우리 새 노래를 들어주세요 Strategy! (please listen to our new song strategy)" momo says before the cameras cut
ᯓ ᡣ𐭩
after the program you secretly went out to meet your now girlfriend lara , after the break up you didn't really know what to do but good thing she was there and from that point forward you both started dating
"hi love!" you said hugging lara as she ran up to you to hug you as well , "I missed you! , anyways let's go?" lara asks leading you inside the kats dorm
inside the dorm you were greeted by manon who was sitting down watching some tiktoks "hey" you greet
finally making it to lara's room she sits you down on her bed as she takes a seat on your lap, "so you miss me?" you ask cocky about her missing you , "obviously miss y/n" she replied
just before both your lips touch the door opens with sophia oblivious that you were here , "lara have you seen my- oh sorry" she says looking at the scene before her you and lara just being lovey dovey , suddenly the whole mood changed lara was now on the bed next to you sensing the unease , as sophia exits you two let out a heavy sigh
"baby I feel guilty, I mean she's my friend and I date her ex?" lara admits you look at the frown on her lips you held her face with your hands making her look at you "baby I understand , but know that she did something I probably won't forgive her for"
"ill never do that to you" lara says
"I hope not , that's the exact words sophia said" you chuckle remembering the countless lies she told you
ᯓ ᡣ𐭩
it was late yet you couldn't sleep so you left lara on the bed to get some water , at the kitchen was her , sophia
"hey" she greets , you took note of how she was still wearing the bracelet you gave her for your first monthsary
"hello , just need some water" you replied awkwardly , you get to the fridge and take out lara's water bottle and drink out of it
you were walking back by this point , but you hear sophia mutter something , "I'm sorry , could you maybe give me a second chance?"
"no soph , I'm tired plus me and lara are together , I've never felt any better with anyone else" you replied trying your best not to look at her , and just continue walking
"how is that okay? — we break up and you get with my friend? , how fucked up is that?" she reasons as you hear her sniffle
"soph , you cannot be talking about what's fucked up when you cheated on me , fuck I'm not gonna have this conversation again, goodnight" you replied mad at her audacity to get upset over you picking lara , yet you didn't mention that instead going inside the girls room
"babe? — where'd you go?" lara asks in a groggy voice as she opens her eyes , you're so glad you chose the woman who knows how to treat you
"just drank some water love" you replied trying not to sound like you just finished crying , you both lay down with her in the crook of your neck as she hums a gentle tune
"I love you so much" you whisper as you place a kiss on her head
#katseye imagines#katseye x reader#lara katseye#sophia katseye#sophia x reader#lara x reader#lara raj imagines#lara raj#sophia laforteza#sophia laforteza imagines
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Silly Game Time: The Skeleton King has asked for my hand in marriage ... Again (sigh).
How can I let him down gently enough to not make him an enemy, but firmly enough that he'll stop asking?
Listen. I know the Werewolf King is a total chad or whatever they're calling them now, and he has that pineapple farm and everything, and he has a really wonderful, supportive family who are actually very gentle.
I know he doesn't live in the "frozen wastes" which are just moors in winter, come on. I know the Werewolf King doesn't have like fifteen ex-situationships wandering around as banshees and wraiths and what-have-you, which can be a little teensy bit awkward when all you want to do is pace the castle walls, and all they want to do is scream and rend at their spectral hair.
But I need you to know the whole story.
They were friends before, I'm sure people have told you that. But no, yeah, back when the Skeleton King was just this prissy, gay little lich clattering around the dating scene, they were dating. Did you know that?They were really close. I don't know if the Werewolf King told you that. They were like boyfriend close.
They would have gotten married but the Skeleton King's dad finally disarticulated (at like the worst possible time) and he had to ascend and take the crown and that required sacrifices. It was so stupid.
Rather than claim the lives of fourteen of the Werewolf King's family and his husband the Werewolf King in order to ascend to the throne, he married that Viktor von Vampire or whatever his name was. I think we're all still forbidden from saying it even though he's dead. More dead. Whatever.
I know you heard there was backstabbing, and maybe that's why you're hesitating, but it was totally misrepresented. He married the vampire and then all of the vampire's petty, gross little ghouls got what they'd been deserving for four bratty, bratty centuries, and were discorporated.
I know it was like 60 years while the Skeleton King tried to kill that vampire douchebag, and it all looked really bad! It did! He killed his husband! But you know that fully half of the supernatural marriages that don't end in divorce and in some kind of permanent death or discorporation or what-have-you. It's not like nobody saw it coming, they're just being judgy.
And if he'd explained to the Werewolf King what was going on, about getting married just for the sacrifices and all, and told him that they could still totally be together afterwards, well. The werewolf King is a really great guy and would totally have committed his entire pack to the eradication of all those disgusting little vampire lackeys and their cults.
I don't need to tell you how that would have ended. I really don't. I mean, they're really just a bunch of puppies. They're just silly little puppies tumbling around that giant manor, playing all the time and hunting all the game and having music nights and dancing and barbecues, and it's all really fun. I mean, you've been immersed in it for the last 5 years. You know exactly what I'm talking about.
They're great, they're really great, they're very strong and brave and all of that, and the Werewolf King absolutely would have been up for a fight like that, that's why he's like king of all the werewolves ever, but oh my God his auntie? His cousins? Absolutely not the kind of people who could tear cultists apart. And I'm sure you know by now they wouldn't have listened if they were told to stay away. They can't keep their noses out of anything.
So it kind of had to be the way it was to prevent an absolute puppy slaughter. You don't want that, I don't want that, it's all just too awful to think about.
With all that in mind, I know there's some awkwardness about the time he made off with you in the night. The abduction. Okay! Okay, sorry. The kidnapping.
But you also know about the old curse on your family now, and why he really felt like he had to do it. I mean, your family was living on his land, and there were all these exes of his wandering around just waiting to suck your life force away if you had even one toe outside after the sun went down, or if your mirrors weren't perfectly aligned or your salt wasn't the right kind, god, who knew the really tasty flaky stuff was actually worse for that sort of thing? He kind of felt like he owed it to you. Hence the abd-- the kidnapping, sorry. And the gross blood ritual to make you immune to their bullshit. I mean, he's the one who created them, and you can't deny the fact that he absolutely stepped up to deal with the consequences.
I know it was awkward and all, but the two of you really had something together. Like, right away. Do you remember that entire summer where nobody could stop singing because some farmer broke some stone in his field and there was an ancient spirit trapped inside of it and it was just, well it was just a whole thing?
Everybody was just singing their real feelings, right out loud. It was so embarrassing. It was like the musical episode of every TV show ever, so unoriginal. But all of us saw your musical number together and it was really obvious that there is something incredible there.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to defend him, it's just been really hard for him to watch you going around with his ex, and both of you are so happy, cares about you both so much.
Okay, I can see you're not convinced. I'm not supposed to tell you this. I'm not even supposed to be able to? But I'm some kind of quasi feline creature on my dad's side and I can only be loosely bound by curses or geasa or whatnot. Everything just sort of falls off if I lose one of my lives. And don't tell anyone, but that time I saw a bird and ran full tilt into the glass window at your boyfriend's manor? I know you think I knocked myself out, but I didn't.
No, no, that's not what killed me, no, sweetie, you did fine. I actually died of embarrassment three hours later. When you heard me stop sobbing? Yeah. That was when. It was only for like 6 or 7 minutes though so, not a big deal.
Anyway, what I'm saying is that all of that crap I was supposed to swear and all of those spells that were on me, ugh disgusting, they don't apply anymore. So now I can tell you the real reason he asked again? Is that he has to ask three times before he can like, legally let you go. Skeleton rules, whatever. It's all really stupid.
So it's perfectly fine for you to refuse. Would he be sad, would his feelings be hurt? I mean, yeah, but not really any worse than they already have been with you turning him down twice already. At least then he could let it go. And then you can be with the Werewolf King.
No! I'm not being passive aggressive, I really do want to see you happy! We all want to see you happy. We all want to see the Werewolf King happy! I just feel really bad for my boss, because I love him, he's been kind of like a dad to me.
So I think that you should actually invite him down to the manor, and you can formally decline there. And at least that way he'll have some good emotional support from all of those nice puppy cousins, and he'll have a lot of food to drain of its flavor and a lot of flowers he can go wither to make himself feel better and maybe he can be just a little gay and prissy again.
And maybe you and him and the Werewolf King can sit down and talk all of this out like grown adults who love each other.
You are the protagonist in the middle of a love triangle situation, and it's going to get more and more insufferable the longer it goes on.
What I'm saying is you should all consider a throuple situation. The only way to defeat this stupid narrative that is trying to doom us all.
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56 . secret service
prev . main
"why does this look like an intervention?" chaeyeon asked as you walked into the room, raising an eyebrow at the spectacle in front of her.
"i told y'all not to show up like this," you groaned, eyeing nien, kaede, and yeonji, who were all dressed like they were apart of the secret service.
the four of you had agreed to use yeonji's dorm study room for some privacy, but clearly, the rest of the group had turned this into a production.
"we wanted to set the tone for a serious conversation," nien said matter-of-factly, adjusting her sunglasses.
"looking the most unserious possible?" you shot back, gesturing to her outfit.
"i'd take us seriously," yeonji said, arms crossed like she was guarding the door.
"you're all unhinged," you muttered, throwing yourself onto one of the chairs.
"you love us for it, though," kaede said, smirking as she leaned against the table.
"sometimes," you replied, shooting her a side-eye.
"anyway," chaeyeon cut in, glancing at her phone. "nakyoung's on her way. she did ask why we're having a 'study session' in a random dorm, but don't worry—i told her it was your idea."
"bro, why me?" you groaned, flopping onto the couch as if you could somehow sink into it and disappear. "she's gonna act more delusional now."
"too late now," chaeyeon smirked, leaning against the table. "she's like two minutes away, so maybe practice looking less... scared."
"i am scared," you shot back, sitting up. "this feels like a trap."
"it's not a trap," nien said, adjusting the sunglasses she absolutely didn't need. "we're just here to make sure you don't fold."
"fold? i'm not gonna fold!" you protested, glaring at her.
kaede snorted, leaning against yeonji like they were on a stakeout. "yeah, okay, say that now, but watch her walk in and suddenly you're considering the car kiss again."
"oh my god, i keep telling yall that didn't happen!" you shouted, throwing your head back in frustration.
"we've heard the denial," yeonji said, deadpan.
"i hate it here," you muttered.
"too bad," nien said, looking at the door, "nakyoung's already here. act normal."
before you could even reply, the door creaked open, and nakyoung stepped in cautiously, her eyes scanning the room. she looked a little confused, probably because nien was wearing sunglasses inside, kaede had a clipboard for no reason, and yeonji was straight-up sitting with her arms crossed like a bodyguard.
"uh..." nakyoung blinked, clearly trying to process the scene. "what's going on here? i thought this was a study thing?"
"it is," chaeyeon said smoothly, stepping forward like a spokesperson. "but, you know, they like roleplaying sometimes."
nakyoung's gaze landed on you, her expression softening a little. "hey, y/n. i'm glad to see you here."
"uh, yeah," you said, shifting uncomfortably. "i, uh... thought it'd be a good idea to talk. you know... clear the air."
"oh," she said, a faint smile tugging at her lips. "yeah, i'd like that."
"i think we'll... step out," kaede said, standing and gesturing for the others to follow. "give you guys some privacy."
"finally," you muttered under your breath as they filed out, but not before nien gave you a warning look.
as soon as the door clicked shut, nakyoung sat down across from you, folding her hands on the table. "so... where do we start?"
you swallowed, suddenly very aware of the tension in the room. the casual humor from earlier went away the moment nakyoung sat down.
"i guess we start with... everything," you said, gesturing between the two of you. "i mean, things have been weird, right?"
"that's putting it lightly," nakyoung said with a dry laugh, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "but yeah, weird is a good word for it."
you nodded, fiddling with the hem of your sleeve. "i felt like... really betrayed when you just broke up with me and moved on so fast. i thought all your feelings for me would be gone so i didn't even think dating xinyu would affect you at all, but apparently it did."
nakyoung tilted her head slightly, her expression softening. "i do feel really bad about that, i want you to know that me dating sohyun was literally just me being stupid and if i could go back i would take it all back."
you hesitated, the words caught in your throat. you glanced at the door, half-expecting one of your friends to burst in with their unsolicited commentary, but the room remained silent. it was just you and nakyoung.
"you say that but at the end of the day you still did it," you said finally, your voice quieter. "i chased you around for a whole ass week embarrassing the fuck out of myself while you were apparently starting a whole thing with sohyun and i don't think i can ever fully forgive you for that."
nakyoung blinked, her lips parting slightly in surprise. she stayed quiet for a moment, as if processing what you'd just said. "that's... fair," she said softly. "i just ran into sohyun when we broke up and we got to talking and i fucked up. i don't even know what i was thinking."
you let out a small, humorless laugh. "well that sucks for you."
"i can't even be mad because you're right" she agreed, a small smile breaking through.
"that was mean but..." you paused, searching for the right words. "i want you to give up on me now. i'm not gonna lie if you had decided this a little earlier in my relationship with xinyu i would've taken you back so fast, but you were late."
"we can still be friends though," you said, trying to lighten the mood.
nakyoung gave you a knowing look, "you know that won't work out."
"it was worth a shot," you shrugged.
she smirked, her gaze softening. "but hey, if xinyu ever messes up... remember me."
"trust, i will," you said, trying to keep it light. "i've learned to be very messy lately."
nakyoung chuckled, shaking her head. "good to know."
there was a comfortable silence for a moment before she leaned back in her chair, eyes twinkling. "now that we've cleared talked... can i ask something?"
"sure," you said, already bracing yourself for whatever was coming next.
"why the fuck are they dressed like that? are they practicing for something?" nakyoung's eyes flickered toward the door.
you groaned, burying your face in your hands. "they're just... extra like that."
nakyoung burst into laughter, her warm, genuine laugh filling the room. for the first time in a while, it felt like things were starting to get back to normal between you again. you would miss her, but at least you had xinyu now.
main . nxt
taglist ༒ @gtfoiydlyj @inybits @baewonlove @yeetaberry127 @sananapotter @happyjuhyun @nicstumblur @museujin @urmom2314 @yunalvrrr @jeindall777 @saysirhc @idleyuri @yerimbrit @sixflame438 @artrizzler19 @peranoo @motoprincessella
#triples x reader#zhou xinyu x reader#triples smau#triple s#kim nakyoung x reader#yoon seoyeon#jeong hyerin#lee jiwoo#kim chaeyeon#kim yooyeon#kim soomin#kim nakyoung#gong yubin#yamada kaede#seo dahyun#kamimoto kotone#kwak yeonji#hsu nien tzu#park sohyun#zhou xinyu
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Whumpee & His Collar part 2
Warnings: tight collar around Whumpee's neck, severely restricted breathing, mentions of beating and past torture & conditioning, panic attack and choking
The collar was tight around his neck, digging into his skin with every strained breath he took.
"Oh honey, I promised I wouldn't hurt you here, and I keep my promises," Caretaker tried to soothe. "Why don't you want the collar off?"
"What did I do wrong?" Whumpee choked out.
"What did you... do wrong?" Caretaker echoed, confused. "You did nothing wrong, Whumpee -- what gave you that impression?"
Whumpee pointed with a shaky finger to the collar around his neck. "Y-You were going to take it off, which means I did something horrific and need to be thoroughly punished for it." He couldn't understand why, but he saw Caretaker's eyes fill with sad tears.
"I... think I understand now. But you're not with Whumper anymore," Caretaker spoke softly. "New house, New rules, okay? You will never be hurt here. Not even with your collar off."
Whumpee found it hard to believe her words. His entire life revolved around this collar, it gave him a clear sense of direction and purpose. So that he would always know what to expect at any given time, depending on how tight it was strapped around his throat.
But Caretaker hadn't done anything with it in all the time since his rescue. So... maybe she was telling the truth...
Whumpee's chest was heaving with the effort to keep breathing by now, his mouth gaped open as he gasped and choked on sobs.
"Whumpee, please -- you're going to pass out if you keep it up. Please let me take it off. I promise I won't hurt you, and I will always love and care for you. Do you trust me?" Caretaker reached her hands out toward him, pausing a few inches away as though waiting for permission to make contact. Giving Whumpee a choice, to accept or deny her help.
Whumpee squeezed his eyes shut tight, terrified beyond belief, but forced himself to give a shallow nod. But he still reflexively flinched when he felt Caretaker's warm hands gently cup his face, a soothing and comforting presence.
"You're going to be okay, Whumpee, just breathe..."
Whumpee tried his absolute best to obey, he really did, to be good and perfect for her -- but it was just so difficult with the tight collar in place, his situation worsened by the panicked hyperventilating. He felt Caretaker's hands gently slide down from his jaw to his neck, carefully fiddling with the clasp keeping the collar on him.
The fear washed over him all over again, but he managed to hold still as Caretaker finally unbuckled the collar and took it off completely. Cold air hit the skin where the collar always rested for the first time in weeks, a sensation so unnatural and foreign to him.
Then there were strong arms around him, pulling him away from the wall he was curled up and cowering against and into a fierce hug.
“You're so brave, Whumpee, so so brave” Caretaker praised comfortingly, running a soothing hand through his hair in the way she knew he liked most.
Whumpee trembled like a fragile leaf in her arms with a whine, burying his face into her shoulder, and clinging to her desperately like a lifeline. It felt different to be able to properly breathe again, so strange after he'd gotten used to the calculated, measured breaths he'd take whenever the collar was on.
He gulped it down greedily, sucking in as much fresh air as he could with each deep breath. Caretaker was right, it felt so much better to have the torturous collar off.
“Y-You're not going to abandon me now that's it off, are you?” Whumpee asked quietly, his voice wobbly and uncertain.
“Never, Whumpee, never,” Caretaker answered firmly. There was no hesitation whatsoever in her tone, and Whumpee wanted to cry again – in gratitude this time instead of fear.
“Thank you for taking care of me, Caretaker,” Whumpee mumbled into her shoulder.
“Always,” Caretaker whispered into his ear. An eternal promise, one that she would forever keep.
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#whump writing#whump inspiration#writing prompt#whump list#whump fic#whump prompt#whumpee#whumper#whumper and whumpee#writing#whump#captive whumpee#cruel whumper#trapped whumpee#restrained whumpee#recovery whump#rescue whump#whump community#carewhumper#whumpee x caretaker#whumpblr#whumpee x whumper#shock collar whump#collar whump#mind conditioning#torture whump#pet whump#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity
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didn’t realize i turned the water heater on wrong b just spent half my shower wanting to cry n being pelted by ice cold water
#finally was like oh okay maybe i need to do it again#then i heard it kick on#now i’m sitting her conditioner in hair smoking a ciggy n waiting for warmth#my toes are numb hehehe#it’s like 50 here n toooo cold but i love cold
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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note: the following is three (almost four) years post-game
okay fine i'll just draw comics for my au since writing is so dang hard smh
anyways welcome to two coins! where loop shows up again but siffrin only got the one hat ending
edit: part two
#2024#isat two coins au#isat loop#isat mirabelle#isat siffrin#isat spoilers#on technicality#isat#in stars and time#this was also an excuse to play with mira's hair again bc i wanna see her in braids so bad! with beads that click clack as she walks!#hairier isabeau... oh merciful neptune oh sweet aphrodite i thibk i hauve covid#also none of these outfits are like... definitive. i'm indecisive so i want everybody to have a wardrobe#LOOP'S HAT IS NOT SIFFRIN'S BTW they prioritized hiding from siffrin over finding where it landed oop that thing is GONE gone#that coin attached to the tip of that hat is also not siffrin's... but siffrin doesnt know that...#also hey yall ever think about how loop can kinda turn their light out and maybe be invisible? i do#anyway this au is also loop/siffrin/isabeau just fyi... also maybe the tiniest of shoutouts to loop/odile if i'm feeling cheeky#also also also... loop still uses they/them but there will be more feminine terms used for them in this au ;u;#baby finally started seeing themself as a person again and is reevaluating their gender#people around where they've been frequently traveling call them miss lu or some call them lady#eventually when the polycule is complete i want siffrin and isabeau to both call loop ''my lady'' bc the thought just makes me melt#you don't /need/ to know that but i'm telling you#okay i've been trying to articulate my thoughts in the tags for half an hour so i'll stop now...#have a good day/night i love you mwah mwah mwah
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E&T: Caught in the Clutches of Lust
No im not sorry for any of this. cope and seethe
Btw I used a line from @painsandconfusion and @wormwriting's degradation starter list that I saved THREE YEARS AGO for this very moment. I am always playing the long game (⊙ˍ⊙)
←Previous - Masterlist
Ingredients: VERY creepy/intimate whumper, implied threat of noncon, a lot of noncon touching (unsexy but right on the edge), implied noncon kiss, unsexy nudity
Shiori?
No, it couldn’t be, she was a world away, she was human, he’d left her waiting by the fountain after the party and she’d moved on and forgotten about him, no reason to follow him here, into the depths of hell, looking exactly like she had the night of the party, jarringly out of place in her pretty dress, smiling at him like he wasn’t a blood-covered, unrecognizable version of himself.
And then he blinked, and all of a sudden it wasn’t Shiori at all, but Lythia, wearing the same yellow bandana that she always did while she was working in the palace gardens, the little black braids of her hair just as beautiful as he remembered. There was no pity in her dark eyes, like there had been the last time he saw her, looking up at him from the crowd while he was chained to that pillar, promising he’d be rescued after it was already too late. Actually seeing her hurt, and Erebus looked away for a moment, just a moment…
When he saw the woman in front of him now, his jaw dropped, eyes widening, his tense, burning hands finally relaxing.
“Come on, let’s get you somewhere safe.”
Her voice was just as he remembered, and she was smiling at him so kindly, her eyes soft, her gloved hand outstretched, she was here to save him, she’d found a way to bring him back, he was too tired and scared and stressed to do anything else besides surrender control to her once again, to take her small hand and follow her blindly towards the fate she’d chosen for him. She was squeezing his still-healing hand tightly in hers, but she could do whatever she wanted with him just as long as she got him out of this place.
“Well, that was easy.”
The voice wasn’t Shiori’s, or Lythia’s, and it certainly wasn’t Neteri’s.
Erebus jumped back, finally seeing the person next to him clearly for the first time. She-they?-smirked at him, bright purple eyes sparkling. Their white hair was long and wavy, partially braided back with impeccable precision. Gold jewelry and a low-cut black dress accentuated their natural beauty, seeming very out of place in this hellish world. Most striking of all, though, was their bright red skin, a shade that was very familiar to Erebus.
This was a lust demon, and she’d lead him right into her lair.
“You-how did-I-”
They laughed, deep and bright, obviously amused by his shock and confusion. “You only saw what your heart wanted you to see, darling. It’s not my fault you turned into a meek little lamb and followed me here.”
Erebus’s face grew hot. “Well I-I…” his wings sank behind him. He’d thought he was about to be saved. Like an idiot. She’d led him away from the bubbling pools and acrid air into a sort of cave, a furnished one at that. But now he was cornered in here, at a disadvantage in the cramped space. He swallowed and changed the topic, hand resting on the pommel of his sword. “Who are you and what do you want with me?”
“Apologies.” She bowed slightly, the sort of bow people gave when they were pretending to show respect during negotiations, but then declared war a few weeks later. “My name is Asmodeum, and really,” they gave him a disapproving look, “I’d rather not fight with you. I heard you’ve defeated Somiaken and Vorath already, but I believe you and I could work something out without coming to blows.” They held their hands up briefly, but the way they watched him made it clear that their guard was still up. “So, tell me your name, now. Unless you’d prefer I just call you darling?”
Erebus very much did not want that, so he complied. “Erebus. But you didn’t really answer my question. What do you want, if not to fight me?”
Asmodeum sighed wistfully. “Well, I can tell that you’re the sort of person who’ll never agree to what I really want, but I believe something can be arranged. You see, I’ve been stuck here for Akumo knows how long with no toys to play with. So, I was thinking-”
“I-I’m not gonna be your toy,” Erebus choked, his throat feeling like it was closing up.
“Ah, ah, ah.” Asmodeum wagged a finger. “Let me finish, dear. I could have my way with you quite easily, you know. It would be oh so effortless to drag you back into my domain proper and throw you into a pool of boiling water or lava and watch the show. However, I think your forced cooperation would make this a little more fun, and it would be nice if you behaved for me. So, if you let me do what I want with you, barring the most intimate acts, I’ll let you kill me once I’ve had my fill.”
“What happens if I don’t say yes?”
Asmodeum casually examined their nails. “I will take you by force and I will defile you.”
“D-defile?! You don’t mean…” Erebus quickly glanced down, and Asmodeum smiled wickedly.
“Oh, I do mean. If you let me play with you, I swear I won’t do anything of the sort. Call it an incentive. So come on, Erebus, get rid of your sword.” Erebus just tightened his grip on it, weighing his options. As much as he didn’t want to let this demon…play with him...did he really have any other options? He was exhausted, and there wasn’t much room in here for him to try and put up a proper fight. And more than anything, he really, really didn’t want to risk being...Despite the anxiety building in his chest, Erebus unbuckled the sword belt around his waist, setting it carefully on the ground.
“Fine. But if you so much as touch me there I’ll-I’ll make you regret it.” How would he do that? He wasn’t sure. But he just-he had to make it clear that he wasn’t surrendering. He was just…agreeing to play along. Just to get a break from fighting. He was okay with this. He’d be fine. He'd been through so much worse.
He'd be fine.
“I promise I won’t cross that boundary, don’t you fret.” Asmodeum walked over to him, kicking his sword out of reach as they took his hand. “First things first, you’re absolutely filthy. Let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?”
Erebus pulled his hand out of her grasp. “I mean, I-I can do that myself,” he muttered. Asmodeum raised an eyebrow.
“I’m sure you can, but I want to wash you, dear. And right now,” she grabbed his hand once more, “I get what I want.” They pulled him along into a bathroom, and he followed reluctantly, feeling an odd sense of familiarity in just going along with this sort of thing. Their threat was certainly a motivator, but that didn’t mean he was going to roll over completely on every little thing, right? He had to make it clear that he wasn’t happy with this, despite agreeing to it. She started filling up the bathtub with water, turning to him with a smile. “Let me strip you now.”
“I-I’d rather-”
“Shhhh.” She placed a finger on his lips, her other hand starting to undo the ties on his shirt. “None of that, dear. I can’t get you all clean if you’re wearing these dirty clothes, now can I?” He looked away as they tugged his shirt off, hoping that they’d-nope, now they were going to try and take off his pants, too.
“You said you weren’t going to-to do that to me.”
“I won’t. But that doesn’t mean you get to keep your clothes on the whole time, you shy little thing. I just won’t touch.” Erebus stifled a whine as she pulled down his pants, and his underwear along with them. “There we go. You can get in now.” He did so, almost jumping into the warm water and crouching down, hugging his knees close and spreading his wings around himself protectively. They gently pushed his wings back, stroking his face as he glared at them with wide eyes. “There’s no use hiding when I’ve already seen everything, silly. I think I’m going to need to get these arms out of the way, hmmm?” They pulled out a pair of manacles, and Erebus’s stomach sank.
“Wait, I won’t resist just-just don’t-”
“Too late for that, Erebus.” She clamped them around his wrists, twisting the chain securely around the faucet. “Besides, you look absolutely darling like that, all helpless. Now, keep those wings out of the way or I’ll pierce them together.” Erebus’s wings sank in defeat, slowly moving back until they were behind him. There wasn’t any winning here, was there? “Good boy.” She grabbed a cup from the countertop and started using it to pour water on him, rinsing away some of the pieces of flesh stuck to his bloodied skin. After she lathered a washcloth with soap, she began to gently clean the dried blood off his face. He screwed his eyes shut, fists clenched as he tried to think about anything else.
Even back when he was a prince, he’d hated being fussed over, preferring to take care of himself when he could. Asmodeum, however, seemed to have no concept of personal space, or just didn’t care. She had to work hard to get through the blood caked over most of his skin, leaning in close, starting with his face before switching to his hair. Their hands slid in, tenderly working through tangled bloody mats and massaging his scalp. He hated how nice it felt, how much it reminded him of the way Lythia always used to play with his hair, forcing himself to open his eyes and look at Asmodeum, to remind himself who was…
Lythia smiled at him sweetly, and Erebus felt his blood run cold. That wasn’t her, no matter what he saw, no matter how he felt. She wasn’t here. She was back home, probably still tending the palace gardens despite the change in management. Did she still think of him as she looked at all the places they used to laugh? Or could she not get the image of him screaming and sobbing up on that podium out of her mind, unable to remember any other version of him than the one he’d left her with? Maybe that’s what he deserved to be remembered as, since he’d hardly thought of her since that day, the memories too painful.
Erebus shuddered when Asmodeum moved to his horns, which were always far more sensitive than they had any right to be. She seemed to be able to tell, continuing to stroke them long after they were clean, and as much as he wanted to ask them to stop, he was afraid it would only encourage them. At the very least, the disconnect between Lythia and his horns was enough to push the thoughts of her out of his mind, and Asmodeum changed back to their normal form.
Her hands finally slid lower, caressing his neck, fingers slipping under his collar, making sure the skin underneath was clean, pressing down against his throat every so often as they did so. It wasn't enough to really choke him, but the message was clear.
They moved onto his shoulders, his wings, his arms, his back. He caught their smile as they saw what his right arm really looked like, and her fingers traced his whip scars as they were uncovered. Dread started to pool in his stomach as she moved to his chest, scrubbing away, revealing-
“Oh, well isn’t this pretty.” They marveled at his brand, stroking the lines of the scar, pausing over his rapidly-beathing heart. “Too bad you’re already owned by someone else, huh? But I suppose they’re not here now, are they?” Erebus just bit his lip, refusing to make eye contact. The thought of his…of Neteri not being here hurt, and, try as he might, he couldn’t help but think of her, of the way she’d always protected him. He wondered how angry she’d get if she saw what was happening to him, or if she could feel now that someone besides her was touching him. He could imagine her bursting in, yelling at Asmodeum to get their hands off of him, unchaining him and letting him cover up before pulling him into a hug-wait wait what was he thinking she’d been his captor she’d hurt him and ripped him into pieces and kept him locked up but she'd promised to save him and he missed her.
“What’s wrong, darling? Is even this too much for you?” Asmodeum brushed away a tear he didn’t realize had been falling with her finger, her skin no longer red, but brown. He couldn't look her in the eye. Not while she wore that face. “Such a sensitive little thing.” Hearing those words in that voice was already bad enough. Erebus tugged at his chains, wishing he could rub away those stupid traitorous tears, because he wasn’t crying about Neteri or Asmodeum or any of this.��
Their hands plunged beneath the surface of the blood-clouded water now, and Erebus couldn't stop himself from tensing up as they scrubbed his stomach, glad the parts of him that were previously under clothes weren't as caked in blood as those that weren't. Still, there was enough to clean that she had an excuse for her hands to wander lower still, caressing his hips, his thighs, and now he was trembling, fists clenched, tears dripping even more steadily into the tepid, cloudy water, no one had ever touched him there, at least she was wearing her own face now, but please, please stay away from there, you said you wouldn't touch me there and if you do then why am I here why am I letting you do this why do I keep letting people hurt me if I just stood up for myself more if I wasn't such a coward maybe I'd still be-
"You're rather pathetic, aren't you?" Asmodeum mused as they cradled his face, turning him towards them. Erebus blinked away tears, just now realizing that they'd finished cleaning him, the tub already drained. He couldn't exactly argue, crying and shivering like he was, so he just swallowed and gave the tiniest nod as he pulled himself together, hoping it'd be enough to get them to move on.
With a satisfied smile, she unhooked his wrists from the faucet, but left the manacles on as she pulled him up and out of the tub. He tried to cover himself as best he could as they toweled him off, hoping they’d stop touching him or at least give him clothes soon. Thankfully, they did, handing him a small bundle, and upon unrolling it he found...a pair of shorts that barely reached his knees, and that was all. Once he’d put them on, she dragged him into another room and let go, crossing her arms. “Kneel.”
“I don’t-” Asmodeum raised an eyebrow, and Erebus stopped himself. They were expecting him to obey their every little whim if he didn’t want to be...he knelt, staring at the floor. She circled him a few times, and he clenched his fists in his lap, hating how much of his body was on display. Not that she hadn’t already seen everything.
“You were just made to kneel, weren't you? Absolutely gorgeous." Erebus's face burned even hotter than before. All he could hope was that they'd be done with him soon, but he'd never specified how long this would go on for when he agreed to it, so this might last…He was such an idiot, why did he just go along with this without any negotiation?
Asmodeum stopped in front of him. "Well, what are you in the mood for, dear? Pain,” her hand slid under his chin, tilting it up, “or pleasure?”
“Please just-anything but-” he choked, and she just laughed.
“Anything, you say? Then, I think...I'm in the mood for this.” They grabbed his collar, yanking him up onto the nearby bed. Before he could even try to sit up they were on him, wrapping themselves around him, worming in between his shackled arms, forcing him to embrace her back. A shudder ran down his spine as her skin came into contact with his, her arms pinning him flush against her body, her legs tangling around his. “Have you ever been this close to someone, darling?” she whispered in his ear, their fingers stroking his hair.
“I-I, um, a few times but-”
“Aw, and you’re still nervous.” Her hand ran down the back of his head, stopping at his collar. “It’s so cute how you still wear this. I’m sure you could get it off if you tried, so you must like having it on, huh? Do you miss your owner?”
“She’s not-I don’t-I just-it’s…” he screwed his eyes shut, “I can’t take it off, alright?!”
“Such a dutiful little pet-”
“I wasn’t h-her pet!”
“You’re so adorable when you’re in denial.” They stroked his back, rubbing around the base of his wings. Erebus just opted for staring at the wall, hoping they wouldn't touch his horns. “Do you know how lust demons feed, my dear?”
“By eating…?”
“Well, of course, but not the same way you do. We feed off of humans, more specifically, their bodily fluids.” She smiled widely, showing off her fangs. “And I haven’t had a meal ever since being locked up in here. I normally get my fix a different way, but, to be considerate of you, innocent little boy,” they shifted until their lips were right next to the base of his neck, fingers pushing his collar out of the way, “I’ll settle for feasting on your blood.”
Her fangs sank into his neck, and he couldn’t help but gasp at the sudden pain. He tried to breathe in calmly through gritted teeth as she sucked on the holes in his flesh, drinking his blood. Soon enough, his ears started ringing, and lightheadedness crept in. He gripped the chain between his wrists just too feel something solid, glad that he was lying down, at least. By the time Asmodeum pulled away, licking droplets of blood from their lips, a dizzy haze had settled over Erebus. He closed his eyes, tears leaking out as she snuggled back into him, just hoping that this would all be over soon. In fact, maybe he would just...let the blackness take him...just for a little bit...so he didn’t have to be...awake…
Erebus’s mouth tasted like dried blood when he woke up, and Asmodeum was still wrapped around him tightly. She smiled when their eyes met. “Did you have a good little nap, my darling? I hope you don’t mind, but,” she gripped his chin, her thumb stroking his lips, “I had a little bit of fun with you while you were out of it.” A bit of...wait is that why his mouth tasted like-
“W-you-you can’t d-do that to me I-I don’t-” his voice broke, and he couldn’t breathe all of a sudden, no matter how many fast little breaths he sucked in, just get away, get away from me stop touching me don’t do that to me please please I don’t want that you can’t do that to me you can’t you can’t I never wanted that not from you not from anyone and now now now I-I’m-I’ve been-
He felt something solid press into his hands, and he realized that Asmodeum was standing in front of him, and that was his sword in his hands, he was sitting up now and that was his sword and Asmodeum was smiling they were holding out their arms to him they were ready they were ready they were laughing they were coughing up blood they were on the ground there was so much blood how much of it was his he wasn’t sure he didn’t know they reached up and he backed away he had to get away he couldn’t stay here a second longer she was dead she was dead she was already crumbling away and he had to go he wanted to rip off his own skin he could still feel her touching him where where where were his clothes where was the key to these manacles he had to go he-
Erebus dropped his sword. He fell to his knees. He buried his face in his hands.
And he screamed.
Tags: @dramaticcollapse @thehopelessopus @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @galaxywhump @as-a-matter-of-whump
@mnmlover2002 @tears-and-lilies @yet-another-heathen @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @starnight-whump
@unicornscotty @thebewilderer @kixngiggles @itallstartedwithharry @inky-whump
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@vampiresprite
#i wrote something#erebus & terror#erebus#asmodeum#creepy whumper#intimate whumper#nonhuman whumpee#demon whumper#noncon kiss#noncon touch#can i get a lmao in chat this guy is having the worst time of his life maybe#yeah shiori is human and normal and i meant it when i said they'd never see each other again#bro's neteri devotion is literally getting worse now that they're apart what is he DOING#i cant believe superhell isnt the healing environment he needs to process his trauma 😔#but yeah back when i was still in college and writing like chapters 3-6 ish of E&T (like him getting branded)#i was like ''okay but the bathing scene is soooo fun and sexy i want to write it right now''#so i did and then it sat there for 3 years#it's honestly really weird that it's out in the open now it's been My Secret Writing for SO long#had to make a lot of edits though and i can see how much ive improved since then like yeah let's GUT this bitch#asmodeum fucking sucks. sorry. they are the literal fucking worst#they're also technically genderfluid but since the way they're perceived is based on the person's attraction#erebus just gets female/androgynous vibes cuz he doesn't like men 👍#uh what else oh yeah we had to give him the kissing trauma. rare instance of me projecting write it down kids#god i started the final edit of this at 4:30 and i was like ''yeah i can have it ready by 5''#it's 5:51 you idiot
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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Next time we should just skip over ep 3 and do a chapters 84-87 reread
#Mmmmmmhhhh.#Well. If anything you can always tell when there's a ss/kk episode by the fact that it takes me two hours to watch it lol#What can I say. I'm a compulsive screencap taker#Mmmmmmhhh... I was right it wasn't as bad as I remembered it. Still moderately bad but not all bad.#It's just. I can feel the animators did their best.#I suppose it's just a difficult episode to animate within a short time frame since it's a specifically action packed one.#And the lack of time really shows. Like there *are* some detailed animated passages here and there. But then there's also these long static#shots that stretch on forever that are just... Idk. A little saddening to see I guess? Like the animators really ran out of time for them#There's also a big component of... I just can't vibe with the newfound artstyle. Like it looks soooo much worse than s1 in my opinion#Which you know‚ is only subjective! But eh... The distance between s2ep11 and this feels abyssal.#Everyone looks so ugly oftentimes. Like even in curated shots‚ they're just very rough and ungraceful.#Which like?? How could you look at Harukawa's art and come up with //that//??????? But it's whatever#And the pacing is so so off 😭😭😭 God please to death with 11 episodes long seasons give us filler episodes back. Please!!!!#The pacing is atrocious and it has not even to do with the animation. Even greatly animated episodes suffer from it.#Mmmmhh... I don't particularly like Fukuchi's vacting... He doesn't sound tired enough. Nor as pitiful as much as he should tbh#Among the three I feel like only Uemura really nails the job. I'm so sorry Onoken but I feel like even Akutagawa needs to sound vulnerable–#once in a while‚ you know? Although‚ if he's only going with how Bones depicts him‚ then I get why he would act him out like that 😭😭😭#There were so many reused shots too... The ones from the end of s2ep11... The s3ep12 kokko zessou one... Ss/kk running in the corridors...#Overall. Not as bad as I remembered it. But at the same time I get why I was so distraught because they really wasted the best four–#chapters of the manga just like that.#The “is his life that precious to you” moment was terrible 😭😭😭 Head in hands fr#Oh well. I babble a lot but it was okay. Like at least it wasn't season 3 kind of bad. And definitely wasn't t/pn s2 kind of bad LOL#I just hope ss/kk will be made justice in the future (╥﹏╥)#Especially since their new scenes (current manga events) are possibly going to be adapted in the first episodes of the new season.#If Bones pulls another s5ep3 on them you're going to see me on the news#Then again I have hope the arc finale will be adapted in a movie... Who knows...#Most of all I hope they change art style direction again D:#random rambles#Whaaaa it's so late already!!!#Edit: Oh also to not forget I've made like. One hundred posts. Maybe it's time to unfollow me now if you haven't already D:
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i guess im being offered the job lol
#i didnt even have to interview????? here i was worrying about oh god going for an interview#but i guess not???#manager called me just now and was like hey i spoke w the people they want to know if you can start on these dates#like. okay???????#theres a week of training for me to do and then the following week id start at thee job#like an idiot as i was saying bye on the phone i only remembered then that i should have asked if it was PAID training ugh.#im assuming so . but maybe not. idk#im gonna call him back on monday to give my answer#this is it.... i may finally be free of the annoying people....#but like anything i have my trepidations. bc who know if itll work out#well thats life. as the song goes#fortunately im still within the timeframe to change the amount for my commuter benefits pretax card thing#bc the monthly pass id need for the new job#costs like less than half of what i pay now for the bus to ny#crazyyyyy. anyway i gotta do that if i decide to take the job#its more money (a little. but still more. ok its like a dollar and 4 cents more. which not a lot but still)#i get more sleepytime (always good) and im saving on commuting#plus ill only have to pay nj (and federal) taxes. instead of also paying ny yay. thats good#sorry again weighing the pros and cons onstage here#UH. what else#well a shorter commute is good but it means less reading/music listening time#although ive only resumed reading recently lol#idk. well then i could read at home and not worry about my books getting messed up#these past couple weeks ive been :( that the like 70-something year old paperback ive been taking is getting a bit rougher#only a little. but yesterday it got a bit wet bc my bag got soaked in the rain#why am i taking a super old book to work well i dont know what to tell you we have some old books#ok getting off topic. everything seems good about the new job so fuck dude i guess ill go for it#finally free of the stupid people here.... on to new stupid people (undoubtedly)#well it's probably all good then but unfortunately i always worry what if it isnt. hm
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ugh
#i am having the most hard time with myself ever#i dont feel nice with... me#i feel like i am the most annoying person in the whole world#why i am like this#i feel yucky with myself#i have to wash my hair but i am alone and puppy is in puppy jail and shes crying and i cant leave her alone for a long time cause it breaks#my heart to hear her cry#she has worms so thats also fun#but we already made visit to the vet#shes on medicine to get rid of them but oh my gosh the worms are so nasty#i cant even look at them and thank to my best friend that shes cleaning it up for me with no problem at all#maybe it adds to the things i am feeling#not only i do not feel well#heather also struggles with being in her puppy jail and not feeling good in her belly#ivycats31#i just want everything to be okay finally#i am so tried#i need to rest for 2 billion years again
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