#finally someone remembers flaky exists

[rubytale-chapter2]

Look at all the frisks!!!!

All aboard the Frisk Train!!

[bi-wizard-queen]

My personal experience with Lily Orchard (as a viewer, I have never actually spoken to her)

I was a fan of Lily Orchard from 2014 until 2020 (an on-off fan I guess, like I watched her casually but I have, y’know, other things going on).

I was 17 when I started watching her (I was really into MLP: FiM at the time and she was one of many Brony Analysts I watched) but I will admit she was engaging in a way the others weren’t for me so I kept watching her. I even followed her on Tumblr

I remember back in 2016/17 I stopped watching/following her for a while because I was upset with her very blasé opinion on Palestine and her general liberal politics (I’m a socialist btw) but I came back (most people I like to watch don’t have political views as left wing as mine, that’s something I just accept) but stayed off her Tumblr.

That changed when the ToonKritic stuff happened in 2018 (TL:DR a Brony Analyst was exposed as a sex predator) and I was drawn to Lily’s very angry and cathartic video on it and so I followed her on Tumblr again for more of her takes.

Since I followed HER I took her side in any of her fallouts even if I was initially surprised by them. I also adopted some of her views (not on everything but I was massively on the “Queer should never be used by LGBT+ people” and “Rebecca Sugar is a Nazi sympathiser” views back in 2018/19) despite still being more left wing than her.

I never agreed with her disdain for Bernie Sanders for example even when I was a big fan - ironically I now don’t really like Sanders but that’s due to him not being left wing ENOUGH

I remember when Lizzy broke up with her I was MASSIVELY on Lily’s side. She is very good at framing things in a way that makes her the most sympathetic. I believed EVERYTHING she said about Lizzy and I even retroactively made Lizzy seem worse in my head.

I really need to emphasise that I thought Lizzy was this flaky, transphobic, racist and abusive bitch who relies on daddy’s credit card. I even took Lily’s opinion that Lizzy making her OC Elethyn asexual was her actually being homophobic.

I’ll be honest at this point I sort of stopped watching her as often, that was mainly because 2019 was my final year of uni so I was sorting out moving and getting a job. I also stopped using Tumblr as often for the same reason.

But when lockdown started in March 2020 I was bored and started getting back into a bunch of YouTubers I hadn’t really watched in a while. It was mostly a pleasant experience tbh and even with Lily I enjoyed her Disney recaps that she did in 2019 (though her incest jokes made me uncomfortable)

And then I watched her 2020 update video which was basically her “I hate my fans” video. Like she spent 15 minutes talking about how much she hates her fans and I remember thinking “oh wow this is awful, I’ll go check her Tumblr to see if she’s okay”

There I found some posts about someone called “Opal”. After looking this up, I found the post about Opal’s fanart and Lily’s absolutely horrific reaction to it. This is where my eyes were opened — I’d had these little doubts over the years that I’d pushed aside but this was crystal clear. She had yelled at a minor who had done nothing wrong and refused to back down.

It made me realise, “oh wow she’s always been like this”.

It made me want to look more into her, I think the blog thassabadtake existed at that point so I looked through there and others came later. I also went on Twitter to find info on Opal and then Patch and Lizzy who I realised weren’t the cartoonish villains Lily made them out to but her victims.

(I didn’t bother with Josh since he always rubbed me the wrong way and even without Lily I would dislike him for being a conservative)

But I was always just lurking. I’ve sent some anonymous messages to some of the blogs but I never posted anything on my Tumblr. Because I didn’t want to “corrupt” it (and also people I know IRL follow me and I don’t really want them seeing anything about her).

I again sort of forgot about her for another year or so until I got curious a few months ago and found that things had gotten a LOT worse and that her sister (who I remember her shit talking in vague terms for YEARS).

But since I had a policy of not reblogging anything about her on my blog I was still just lurking so I decided to finally make a side blog just to get my thoughts out a bit

[theseinterludes]

a one and a two

i was never sure of anything. even if a thing was right in front of me, it always felt like i had to doubt its existence. thus, when i saw her waving at me, i thought i was having hallucinations. with my coffee-addled brain and the number of people here in this bus terminal, it was easy to mistake a person for someone but she was actually here, heading towards me, smiling at me so sweetly as if nothing had gone wrong between us. i never thought that dimpled smile would be directed at me ever again. i almost took out my phone to snap a picture.

“what, we haven’t seen each other in so long and you won’t even say hi?” she asked when she reached my side, eyes squinting a little when the afternoon sun hit her face. huh, she was even talking to me. her voice sounded a bit strange—had it always been that deep or had it just been that long?

breaking out of my reverie, i playfully rolled my eyes at her. “in my defense, we didn’t really end on good terms so if i was the one who saw you first i wouldn’t have done anything. maybe i’ll smile awkwardly if you saw me looking at you but that’s it.”

“that’s true but it’s been years since we last saw each other! i couldn’t help myself when I saw you here. girl, this isn’t even the line for the bus i’m going to take,” she said matter-of-factly.

i chuckled. “we’re talking as if it’s already been, like, a decade when it’s only been three years!”

“that’s still long! a lot has happened in those three years! look at you: you grew your hair, you’re a lot skinnier, and it seems like you’re not using your favorite zara perfume anymore. see, i just got here, and i can already note a lot of changes! though i find it funny that you still look so unapproachable with that ever-present frown on your face and those headphones. guess you didn’t change that much.”

if we were talking about changes then, yes, there were some. i have learned a lot about myself in those years, things i never would have had the idea about if we did not go down the way we did. for one, i have grown to be less flaky. if we were still hanging out she would have loved that since she used to scold me about always changing my mind. i also remembered she always said that i should be more courageous in going after the things i want so i made it a point to take that seriously after the fact. i remained a coward but at least now i was learning to confront a lot of the things that would have made me run back then. as it turned out, things can still go right even if i am not on stable ground! i wished i had known that then, maybe we would not be here today if i did.

“well, you’re still as frank as ever,” i countered as i took off my headphones. “you’re on your way home too?”

“yes, finally! college has been quite stressful, i’m so glad finals are done. now, i just need my ma’s cooking to recharge me. how about you? i heard you’re having the time of your life.”

i stared at her dumbfounded. why was she being so friendly? she was actually making an effort to continue the conversation. should i ask her? wait, this might turn awkward so i should definitely not say anything about that. then again, i was really curious. what if she merely wanted to pass the time while waiting for her bus and then forgot we ever had this conversation when it arrived? i furrowed my eyebrows. “this is going to smash this whole friendly mood here but, dude, why are you talking to me so casually? i thought you might still be mad or something.”

her smile dipped a little. “are you telling me i can’t catch up with an old friend?”

“that’s not what I mean,” i said.

“i know what you mean,” she replied.

unable to think of a response, i turned to look at the people passing by. i should have just gone along with her small talk. seriously, i should take a class on decision-making or something. i blew out a breath. i wished my bus would come already—what was taking it so long anyway? 

“i was never mad at you, dummy,” she broke the silence, voice now soft yet still confident. “i just got tired, that’s all. if anything, i should be the one wondering why you’re speaking to me now, i was half expecting that you would push me away again.”

a beat passed.

“i’m sorry,” i said, “for suddenly distancing myself.”

“yeah, you should be,” she stated. from the corner of my eyes, i could see her looking down at her shoes. her long hair was covering her face but i knew she was pouting. “i don’t even know why. it sucked—still does, actually.”

i sighed. can we not do this?

“i have no valid excuse for it, really. i was just so confused.” i shrugged. “i realized i have all these feelings and i don’t know what to do with them. running away seemed like the easiest thing.”

“if you were having a hard time that you had to do that you could’ve told me. i’m more than willing to help you. you knew that,” she said as she looked back at me. raising one eyebrow, she continued, “you didn’t have to cut me off—your reasoning is always so hard to understand. it’s like you’re constantly trying to make people dislike you.”

i could tell from her tone she was getting aggravated, though it seemed like i was not too far behind her. all of the frustrations i had for my actions then wanted to make themselves known.

“can you be for real? i can’t say to the person i like that i want to throw away all my feelings for her. that would be cruel especially since i know she likes me back.”

“why the hell would...what?”

“you need your ears cleaned.”

“i’m sorry, let me get this straight—”

“too late for that.”

“can you not?” she asked exasperatedly. “god, i forgot how sarcastic you get when you’re put in situations where you have to explain yourself.”

“how about you don’t analyze it too much? it was right there—i had to!”

the clenching of her jaw said it all. “alright, sorry, go on.”

“you knew i liked you? and you liked me back? how? why?”

i snorted. “well, you’re not really subtle! i wasn’t too but thank the universe you’re blind. the longing stares? lingering touches? heavy silences? girl, please, we would’ve given wong kar-wai and all the lesbian period drama filmmakers a run for their money.”

“and you wanted to forget about it because...?”

“i’m simply not ready, okay? you’ve always been so sure of yourself—that’s what I admired the most about you—but I can’t say the same for myself. the moment the realization hit, i got so scared. i had no idea what to do so i just said to hell with it, did whatever, and hoped for the best.”

“wow. you’re such a mess,” she said, disbelief written across her face. “and i thought you just decided that you suddenly hated me. damn, if only you told me that. i didn’t know that’s how you felt—you didn’t tell me anything! you’re right, i might not be able to fully understand but if only you let me, i would’ve tried so hard,” she reasoned.

i nodded. “i know you would. that was just something i needed to figure out by myself. i’m also aware of how selfish that was, but at the time that was the clearest path for me to take. i thought i would be fine with that...it didn't take me long to know i wasn’t.”

she smiled once again, this time, however, it did not reach her eyes. “back then, we joked about this all the time, but you really only ever think about yourself, no? and it’s not even the kind of selfishness where you only get the good part. do you honestly enjoy making yourself suffer?”

she had a point. i laughed humorlessly. “maybe. i do have a brutal way of confirming things.”

“it was a rhetorical question.”

“right.”

i opened my mouth again to add something but no words came out. the silence that followed was perhaps the most unbearable one i ever encountered. i could feel the heat rushing through my face though i would like to pretend that it was only because of the weather and not of the uneasiness. i tried to look anywhere but her to hide it.

“it’s a little too hot today, don’t you think? I’m melting here,” she said while fanning herself with her hands. it was like she read my mind and was now coming to the rescue. how typical. i offered her my bottled water but she declined.

“you know, now that I think about it, it’s kinda weird we had this conversation here. this isn’t how i envisioned this moment,” i told her.

“oh, yeah? tell me, then, how you envisioned it.”

“i was thinking it would be at night, possibly while we’re out with our other friends, and when we’re a few drinks in they would put us on the spot or something, i don’t know. just something not like this, a random afternoon...in a loud place where people only go to go to other places. the atmosphere is simply not right, it feels too...temporary? it’s as if it’s not real, get it? plus, I’m pretty sure that manong there is listening to us.”

she glanced at the man pretending to read his newspaper before replying. “maybe it’s the universe reminding us of all the possibilities that could happen between us. we do tend to get complacent. or maybe they’re all just homophobic.”

we shared a giggle at that but before i could add another joke she noticed something. “hold on, i think that’s my bus. the people i was lining up with earlier are boarding already.”

“oh,” i uttered, disappointment evident in my tone. “well, this was a nice talk. i’m, uh, glad you came over here.”

“yeah, it really was! things are...much easier to understand now.”

“do you, like, maybe want to do it over coffee next time?”

“sure, that would be great. i’ll hit you up?”

“yes, please! so...” how would you even end this kind of conversation? would you just say bye? add a wave maybe?

“so…bye for now, i guess. how about a goodbye hug?” she asked, opening up her arms.

“um, yeah, sure,” i said, stepping close.

it was a brief one but its tightness implied the promise of making up for the lost time. we parted and waved a final goodbye before she walked to her bus, a slight bounce on her step. with her back now facing me, it seemed like I had been granted a broader perspective. talking really cleared things out, huh? i would be lying if i said everything will go smoothly from here, though. we have only uncovered our past issues, who knew what might happen next? for now, i was just overjoyed at this chance encounter.

“see you!” i shouted at her retreating figure and she stopped for a second to smile at me. i kept my eyes on her until she entered the bus before turning away. after a few minutes, a notification popped up on my phone. she sent me a picture. when i opened it, it was a meme. i smirked. there was no question about it—i will do better this time.

[ljones41]

"The Deconstruction of Dr. Jack Shephard"

"THE DECONSTRUCTION OF DR. JACK SHEPHARD" I have a confession to make. I must be one of the few fans of the ABC series "LOST" (2004-2010) who did not dislike the series' lead character, Dr. Jack Shephard. Before anyone makes the assumption that he is a favorite character of mine, let me make one thing clear. He is not. But for some strange reason, I never disliked Jack.  I still do not.

Throughout most of the series’ run, many "LOST" fans had consistently ranted against Jack’s faults. Mind you, he was not the only flawed character in the series. In fact, most of the major characters seemed to possess some very serious flaws. Jack Shephard seemed to be one of very few characters that had drawn a considerable amount of ire from the fans. I do not know why he was been specifically targeted by these fans. But I cannot help but wonder if the combination of Jack’s role as the series' lead character and his flawed personality had set fans against him. Now, someone might claim that my last remark sounds ridiculous. As I had earlier pointed out, most of the major characters are also seriously flawed or have committed some serious crimes. Extremely flawed characters like John Locke, Jin Kwon, Michael Dawson, Kate Austen, Miles Strume, Ana-Lucia Cortez, Charlie Pace, Sayid Jarrah, James "Sawyer" Ford, Sun Kwon, Boone Carlyle, Mr. Eko, Juliet Burke and Shannon Rutherford. Hell, the list was practically endless. And yet, the only other character who had received as much criticism or hate as Jack was Ana-Lucia Cortez. Why? Well, I have my theories. Both Jack and Ana-Lucia had assumed leadership among the castaways at one time or the other, due to their personalities, circumstances and professions. Ana-Lucia assumed leadership of the Tail Section passengers that crashed on one side of the island and remained stuck there for forty-eight (48) days. Since Day One of the Oceanic 815 crash, Ana-Lucia had stepped up and utilized her skills as a police officer to save lives and make decisions when no one else would. Jack, a spinal surgeon, did the same with the surviving passengers from the Fuselage Section on the other side of the island. In one early Season One episode, (1.05) "White Rabbit", he seemed willing to back away from the role of leader, until John Locke convinced him to resume it. Jack remained the leader even after Ana-Lucia and the remaining Tail Section passengers joined the Fuselage camp by the end of Season Two’s (2.08) "Collision". And it was not until after his departure from the island in the Season Four finale, (4.13/4.14) "There's No Place Like Home, Part II" with Hugo "Hurley" Reyes, Sun Kwon, Sayid Jurrah, Kate Austen and Aaron Littleton (the Oceanic Six) that he finally relinquished the position. Recalling the above made me realize something. Human beings – for some reason or other – expect leaders to know everything and always do the right thing. Always. And without fail. Humans seemed to have little tolerance toward the imperfections of our leaders. This certainly seemed to be the case for fictional characters who are leaders. And many fans of "LOST" had harbored a deep lack of tolerance toward Jack and Ana-Lucia’s personal failings. In the case of the former L.A.P.D. police officer, many fans had complained of Ana-Lucia's aggressive personality. They also accused her of being a bitch. In other words, being aggressive and hard – traits many have claimed are more suited for a man - is a sure sign that a woman is a bitch. And unlike other female characters on the series, Ana-Lucia lacked the svelte, feminine looks prevalent in productions such as the 2001-2003 "LORD OF THE RINGS" saga. Actually, gender (and racial) politics may have played a role in the fans' opinion of Jack. His main crime seemed to be that he did not fit the image of a heroic leading white male character. Physically, he looked the part. Unfortunately for Jack, he had failed to live up to those looks. He made the wrong choices on several occasions – choices that included his decision to continue Daniel Farraday's plan to set off the nuclear bomb Jughead in the Season Five finale, (5.16/5.17) "The Incident". It is interesting that many fans had dumped most the blame upon Jack’s shoulders regarding that bomb. And he was partially to blame. But those same fans had failed to remember it was Daniel Faraday who had first insisted upon setting off the bomb to reset time back to the day of Flight 815’s crash – September 22, 2004. And they also failed to recall that Dr. Juliet Burke's decision to set off the bomb for her own reasons was the final action that led to her death. Many had accused Jack of failing to be a proper parent figure to his nephew, Aaron Littleton, during his three years off the island. And at the same time, many had praised Kate Austen for pretending to be the boy’s mother. I found this rather perverse and a little disgusting, considering that Kate had set in motion the lie about her being Aaron’s mother. Jack (along with the remaining members of the Oceanic Six) was guilty of supporting Kate’s lie. But instead of criticizing both for lying about Aaron and keeping him from his Australian grandmother Carole Littleton for nearly three years, many fans had criticized Jack for not being an effective father figure to Aaron and praised a kidnapper like Kate for being a good mother. Ah, the ironies of life. Many fans had accused Jack of being emotionally abusive toward Kate. And yes, they would have every reason to criticize his behavior in episodes like (1.11) “All the Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues”. But Kate’s own behavior in episodes like (1.12) “Whatever the Case May Be”, which featured her constant lies and attempts to manipulate him and others, occasionally triggered his temper. If one character is going to be criticized for the situations I have previously described, the other character involved should be criticized for his or her own questionable behavior. Some of Jack's other mistakes included sanctioning Sayid’s torture of Sawyer, failure to organize a genuine search for the only child passenger from Oceanic 815′s Fuselage Section, the kidnapped Walt Lloyd, instigating that ludicrous search for Walt’s dad Michael Dawson and communicating with Martin Keamy and the other hired mercenaries aboard the S.S. Kahana. Yet, he had received more complaints about his relationship with Kate, along with his tendencies to get emotional and shed tears than for anything else. Once again, many “LOST”  fans managed to prove that we still live in a patriarchal society. It was okay for female characters to shed tears in very emotional moments, but not male characters. Especially if that one male character happened to be the series’ leading character. Jack's penchant for tears was not the only sign of how some fans can be hypocritical. I have written articles criticizing some of the series' other characters. Most of my articles have criticized Kate Austen. I will be honest. I used to dislike Kate very much. However, my dislike of her has finally abated - somewhat. Most of my dislike had stemmed from her past flaky behavior and especially from the fans’ tendency to excuse her mistakes and crimes . . . or pretend that she had never done anything wrong. However, Kate was not the only character given this leeway. James “Sawyer” Ford had murdered three people – one in Australia and two on the island - within a space of two to three months. Yet, many fans had made constant excuses for his actions. I never disliked Sawyer.  But I have complained about his flaws, mistakes and crimes on numerous occasions. When I did, many fans had pretended that he had done anything wrong. And to this day, I still find this frustrating. Sometime back in Season Two or Season Three, actor Matthew Fox and the show’s producers, Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof, made it known to the media and viewers that they were doing something different with the Jack Shephard character. They took a superficially heroic type – a brilliant surgeon that assumed leadership of a group of stranded castaways – and deconstructed him. In other words, they slowly but surely exposed his flaws and took the character to what could be viewed as the nadir of his existence. Jack eventually climbed out of that existence by the series’ last season.  But certain fans on  many "LOST" message boards and forums made it clear this was not a path they had wanted Jack to take. Instead, these fans had wanted – or demanded that Jack behave like a conventional hero. During most of Season Six, Jack had managed to avoid indulging in self-destructive behavior. He also refrained from displaying any inclination to pursue a romance with Kate. The worst he had done was engage in a temper tantrum over his discovery that the island’s spiritual "man" Jacob had been observing and possibly interfering in the lives of several castaways. Another personality change I noticed was that he had passively allowed others to take the lead without questioning their decisions. I must be honest. I never liked that particular period in Jack's emotional makeup.  It made him seem like a mindless moron. Did Jack finally become the hero that so many had demanded, when he saved the island in the series finale?  Apparently, those responsible for the Emmy nominations believed he had. Why else did they finally nominate Matthew Fox for a Best Actor in a Drama award, after the series' final season. Mind you, Fox had been giving outstanding performances since the first season. But when Jack finally became a likable and somewhat conventional hero, they deemed Fox worthy of an Emmy nomination. Dear God. Personally, I never did care about Jack Shephard's status as a hero. Nor did I really care for his passive behavior in Season Six. But I did hope that he had  finally discovered some inner peace for himself. And I believe that he did during the series’ final moments.

[kelyon]

Golden Cuffs 49: The Dagger

Cover art by @paradigmparadoxical​

Rumbelle Dark Castle BDSM AU

Rumple answers some of Belle’s questions

Read on AO3

Belle gaped down at Rumpelstiltskin. He was laid out in a crumpled heap on the filthy dungeon floor. His clothes were torn, his hair a wild mess. His body shook and trembled, and he seemed half-insensible. The light from the candelabra Belle had placed on the ground flickered over his face. It brought out the sparkles in his skin and the gold in his eyes. And the gold of the cuffs he held in one hand.

“Rumple.” She had been shouting his name for hours with no answer. Finally finding him--finally speaking to him in person--was a sweet relief. “Rumple, didn’t you hear me calling you?”

He looked up at her, blinking, almost uncomprehending. It was the way a beggar in a gutter looks up at the stars.

“I--heard you,” he rasped. His voice was weak. The skin on his lips was flaky and raw-looking. “I heard you calling. Saying my name. For weeks.” He tore his gaze away from her, grimacing, hanging his head in shame. “Even after you left, even when I knew you were silent, I heard you. You haunted me, Belle. Every day, every hour, I heard your voice. Calling me, begging me, accusing me, shouting at me. Weeping…” he looked up at her again, his own eyes brimming with tears. “You wept because of me.”

Without Belle really being aware of it, her hands had balled into fists. Once, she might have denied that Rumple had hurt her, that he had done anything to merit the torture he had inflicted upon himself. But she couldn’t lie to them both just to ease his suffering.

“I did,” she said calmly. “In the library, when I thought you had abandoned me… I wept often.”

“And before.” Tears overflowed his dark eyes. “I have caused you so much pain, Belle. I almost destroyed you. Over and over.”

Again, she couldn’t deny it, no matter how much she wanted to. Belle had borne much mistreatment from Rumpelstiltskin--even if it had been unintentional. Every time he’d hurt her, he had apologized, and promised that things would be different in the future. And every time, things did change--until he found some new way to break her heart. 

“Is that why you wanted me to leave?”

He nodded, closing his eyes and pressing his lips together in a thin line. “The world is full of better men than me. You deserve them.”

“But I never wanted them,” she said. That was a truth she could admit freely. “Not like I wanted you.”

Rumple shook his head and brought his arms close to his chest. He still held the chipped cup in one hand. The golden cuffs were clutched in the other.

“Why did you keep my cuffs?” she asked, as gently as she could. 

He looked down at the bands as though he had forgotten he was holding them. His thumb slowly rubbed over the metal.  

“I wanted something to remember you by,” he whispered. 

Belle’s jaw tightened. “You could have remembered me by me, you silly man! I didn’t want to leave. Things didn’t have to change that much.”

“Yes they did.” With a weary sigh, he pulled himself up to sit on the ground, his back against the bench Belle used to sleep on. “Things couldn’t have stayed the way they once were. And they cannot go back now.”

“No,” Belle agreed. She had been able to endure even the worst aspects of being Rumpelstiltskin’s thing. Having him degrade her and punish her and play with her body until she screamed with joy and pain had turned out to be something she enjoyed. But when he had locked her away, that had been too much. If she put the cuffs back on, there would be nothing keeping him from giving such an order again. And she would not be discarded or put away when he didn’t want to use her. She was not that much of an object. “But I do want to be with you.”

“And I want to be with you,” he whispered. He gazed at her like she was the only light in the world. “I love you, Belle.”

 Her mouth dropped open and her heart began to race. He had said it. It was true! All other objections fell by the wayside for a moment as Belle moved toward him. She wanted to embrace him, to kiss him and feel his body against her body. At long last, she had the words she had wanted for so long. He loved her!

But Rumpelstiltskin flinched at her touch and backed away. He cringed and held himself tighter, the cuffs and the cup pressed close against his chest.

“No!” he hissed, shaking his head back and forth violently. “Not yet, please!” 

Belle dropped her hands slowly. His body and words rejected her, but his eyes still clung to her face. Which should she believe?

“What do you mean, Rumple?” she asked evenly. “If not yet, when?”

“I must…” his breath came in heavy pants, as though he was making a great effort. “I must give you something.”

He set the chipped cup on the bench. There was a trembling grace to his movements. His fingers lingered lovingly on the porcelain. Then, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath--the trick he had shown her so long ago for how to control fear. His hand was empty as he held it up, but when he reached out to Belle, he held out something dark and evil.

It was a dagger. 

The black handle was directed toward Belle. She could see the ruby in the pommel and read the name engraved down the center of the wavy blade: Rumpelstiltskin. 

 She had seen this dagger before. Rumple had kept it in his safe room, with Baelfire’s drawings and Belle’s necklace. As soon as she’d picked up the blade, he had woken out of a dead sleep and flown into a rage--as though he had caught her in the very act of slitting his throat. He had ordered her never to touch the dagger again, but now he seemed to be offering it to her.

“Please take it,” he begged. “It is the only way.”

Belle kept her hands down at her sides and looked at him. What was really happening here? Why was he giving her a weapon? He held the dagger so the point of the blade was directed at his own body.

“Rumpelstiltskin, what is this?”

He looked up at her again, weary and broken. “This,” he said, “is the only weapon that can hurt me. This is the most powerful artefact in any world I know. This is the price of all my magic.”

That was not entirely the answer she wanted. “What does it do, Rumpelstiltskin?”

He spoke slowly, as though it pained him to say the words. “Whoever wields this dagger controls all the powers of the Dark One. I--I will be a slave to anyone who holds it, compelled to obey their orders.”

Belle swallowed. “And you want me to have it?”

He gave a lifeless nod. “Or you can kill me, if you prefer. If you stab me through the heart, you can take on the power for yourself and become the new Dark One, have all my powers for your own use.” His eyes had grown dull, as if he were half-dead already. “But I don’t recommend it. This is a… a bleak existence and I would not wish it on someone I hated, let alone someone I love.”

Belle was so irritated at that suggestion that she almost missed the thrill of hearing him say that he loved her again.  “Rumple, I don’t want to kill you! I don’t want to hurt you or control you at all!”

“But you must!” He rocked back on his knees, becoming more animated as he argued. “I swore--I vowed to myself that if I ever saw you again, I would give this to you. You’ve earned it.”

“Rumpelstiltskin, if you try to pay for my love one more time--”

“Especially,” he cut off the beginnings of her threat and waited for her to fall silent before he went on: “Especially if you want to stay.”

Stay. The word stuck out to Belle like hearing her mother tongue in a foreign land. It sounded like a cool breeze on a stifling summer day. It sounded like home, like love.

“Do you want me to stay?” she asked, breathless with shock.

He held out the dagger for her to take. “I will not make choices for you, Belle. Never again.”

“But do you want me to stay?”

“And if you do choose this, you must have a means of defending yourself. I can’t risk--”

“Rumpelstiltskin!” Belle asked the question a third time: “Do you want me to stay with you?”

For a moment he was silent. He stared up at her, his mouth open, his eyes drinking her in. His clothes had torn during his anger and Belle could see the skin of his chest. All the layers of him had been ripped away. His heart was finally exposed.

“Yes,” Rumple breathed. “Yes, I want you to stay. I want to see you every day, beautiful Belle. I want to be with you and talk with you and know you for every hour we have left in this world.” His head fell and there were tears in his voice as he went on. “I want you near me always. I want you by my side, working with me and helping me. Allowing me to love you.”

“Oh Rumple!” Belle cried. She fell to her knees and threw her arms around his skinny shoulders.

He stiffened at the embrace, still unused to being touched. But then he melted, sobbing into her cloak. Belle wept as well, tears of joy and sympathy and love.

“I will,” she whispered. “I will stay with you, forever.”

After a few deep breaths, Rumpelstiltskin broke away from her, just a little. Just enough to try to hand her the dagger again. She held up her hands, refusing to take it.

“But why do I need this?” she asked. “Why do I need a means to control you?”

“Because I’m still a monster, Belle. I can still hurt you without meaning to. With my magic, I can still control you, even without the cuffs.”

“Yes, the cuffs.” Straightening up, Belle wiped her eyes and sat down on the bench next to the chipped cup. Rumple stayed on the floor, still loosely holding his dagger in one hand. Belle reached down to his other hand and pulled open his grip. The thin bands of gold were still hooked around his fingers. They looked so different than they had when Belle had worn them on her wrists.“What happened to the cuffs? Why did they stop working?”

Giving an explanation calmed the tremor in Rumplestiltskin’s voice. “Magic is practically a living thing,” he said. “It must be fed, if it is going to maintain its potency.”

She traced her finger against the inside of his palm, outlining the shape of the cuffs on his skin. It did feel good to touch him again. “What fed the cuffs?”

Rumple looked up from where he had been watching her hand in his. His mouth formed into one of his old grins. “It was in this very room that we fed them for the first time. Do you remember when I made them?”

Of course Belle remembered losing her virginity, giving herself to the Dark One and all his terrors and delights. “After we coupled, you spun some straw into gold and made the cuffs out of that.”

“But they are not just gold, sweet Belle. Do you remember what else I did?”

Belle’s brow furrowed as she thought. “You… You reached between my legs, and brought out… our fluids.”

His smile was soft, either because of the memory itself or the fact that Belle remembered it too. “Yes,” he said. “The physical evidence of our pleasure--yours as well as mine--mingled together and inseparable. It covered every stalk of straw. It infused every part of the cuffs that bound us together. It fueled the magic that made you obey me.”

Belle blinked. “From our orgasms,” she said softly. “From my orgasms. That’s--that’s why you always ordered me to pleasure myself before I went to sleep!”

Rumple nodded. “I knew I would get my pleasure out of this deal, but I was not so conceited as to think I could reliably pleasure you to completion. And you needed the freedom of your imagination, to think of what sort of things you might like, what you would want for yourself, regardless of what I demanded of you. To my mind, it was an elegant method, that you would be bound to me mostly by the power of your own desire.”

And by the ability to act on her desires. “So you knew,” Belle gently took her hand away from Rumple’s. “You knew that when you ordered me not to pleasure myself…”

“I was cutting off the power that forced you to obey my orders in the first place.”

“You wanted this to end,” her voice was low, her heart heavy at the memory. “You wanted me to leave.”

Rumpelstiltskin sighed. “Yes. After… Regina.” 

The one name had become a symbol of every evil it was possible to do to a person, every evil Rumple had permitted to happen to Belle. Both of them let the name sit for a moment, let the fact of those evils settle over them. They sat in the darkness with his guilt and her fear and the trust broken between both of them--a severing that might be mended, but could never be forgotten. Then Rumple went on:

“After that, I knew I couldn’t hold you to our deal. I couldn’t use you as they had used you, or hurt you ever again.”

“You never ordered me to kiss your boots once I came back.”

He nodded. “I had no stomach for it. Even in my evil, there were games I could not play, especially not when I knew that you had suffered pain and humiliation in truth.”

Belle pulled her hands inside her cloak and rubbed her arms. Those evil women! The after-effects of what they had done to her were worse than the crimes themselves. They had forced a wedge between Belle and Rumple that had almost ruined their love.

“So that was why you… backed away.”

He scoffed. “As much as I did.” He looked up at her, a hint of a lustful gleam in his eye. “You are a damned hard woman to stay away from.”

Belle let out a soft chuckle. “I wanted you,” she said simply. “I wanted to be close to you and it felt like I could only get that if I offered you my body.”

Rumple shook his head. “We were at cross-purposes.”

“Did you know that I loved you then?”

With a heavy sigh, Rumpelstiltskin set the dagger on the bench next to Belle. He relinquished his hold on it entirely. She still didn’t take it. 

“I knew you thought you loved me,” he said. “And I knew that you were lonely and frightened and that you sought comfort in physical pleasures. Many people feel such things and call it love, especially if they have never felt them before.”

Belle stiffened her spine. “Did you think I was just a silly girl who didn’t know better?”

His eyes sought hers, wide and soulful. “There’s nothing silly about wanting to be loved so badly that you offer your heart to someone who is unworthy of it. Tragic, perhaps. But not silly. And not an affliction that only befalls girls.”

She relaxed a little. He might have disagreed with her emotions, but at least he didn’t dismiss them. “Still, you didn’t want me to love you.”

“No.”

“Did you love me by then?”

“Yes,” he whispered. “As much as I was capable of it.”

“When did you start to love me?”

Rumpelstiltskin sat up on his knees and looked Belle in the eye. Tentatively, he offered her both his hands. She took them in her own, and rested them on her lap.

“I started to love you from the moment we made our deal. I already knew how beautiful you were. But when I spoke to you, and saw you speaking to others, that was when I learned how brave you are, and how good, and how brilliant. A part of me loved you as soon as you said you would go with me.” 

A fresh bout of tears welled up in Belle’s eyes. She let them run freely down her cheeks. “Then why?” she asked. “Why did you want me to hate you?”

“Because it is so easy to be hated.” He brought his hand up to her cheek, wiped away her tears with his thumb. “People have hated me for centuries and it has never changed me. When a person hates me, they don’t want anything from me, and I cannot hurt them in any way that matters. When a person hates me, they cannot hurt me.”

 Slowly, deliberately, his hand moved from her cheek to his dagger. He picked it up once more, and set it in Belle’s lap. Then he sat back on the floor. 

“You can hurt me, Belle. I have always had the power to hurt you, and now I give you the power to hurt me. If you stay or if you leave, you can have this wherever you go.”

She looked down at the blade sitting between her legs. A terrible feeling of power emanated from the dagger. It was a dark power, but it did not have to be evil.

“You said--” Belle sniffed. “You said that controlling me was more power than you’d ever known.”

He nodded. “It is a heady thing to own a human being, to know that they will live or die based not only on your will, but on your word. I could have ordered you to walk into a blazing fire and to stay there until your flesh melted and your bones charred and you would have been powerless to resist.”

She shuddered at that image. “Then why--why should I have such a power over you?”

“Because that is the only way I can live with myself,” he answered. “We must be equals, you and I. That is the only way this can possibly work. For as long as I have magic, you must have a way to control it.”

Belle snorted. “Even now, the scales must balance, is that right?”

But Rumple was completely serious. “Especially now,” he said. “Especially in this. The only possible price to be given someone’s heart is to give your own heart in return. I have denied you my heart for too long, Belle. But it is yours, if you’ll have it.”

“Oh, Rumple,” Belle murmured. She wanted to embrace him again, but the dagger was still between them. “Of course I want your heart. I want all of you. I always have!”

“Then take me,” Rumpelstiltskin whispered. “Take me, and own me, and make me yours.”

Belle looked down at the dagger, and slowly picked it up. Her fingers curled around the black handle and she whispered, “Mine.” 

Rumpelstiltskin’s eyes closed. He sighed so deeply that it seemed the burden of a lifetime--of many lifetimes--had just been set down. His face became smooth and relaxed. A shiver went through him, but Belle knew that it was different from the frantic trembling that had possessed him earlier. This was a shiver of pleasure, of amazement. As soon as Belle claimed ownership of him, he seemed to find the most extraordinary peace.

She knew exactly how he felt. 

Perhaps that was what made it so easy for her to take the dagger, to claim this unfathomable power. Yes, she could control Rumpelstiltskin, but Belle knew how freeing it could be to be controlled by someone you trusted. How often had she delighted in Rumple owning her? Why shouldn’t he get to feel the same delight? Her Rumple was broken and vulnerable and now he freely offered her the power to help him.

Belle held the dagger in one hand. With the other, she cradled his cheek. He leaned into her touch, shaking like a newborn lamb.

“I love you, Rumpelstiltskin,” Belle said. “And I do not take this power lightly. You can be weak with me and have no fear. I will keep you safe.”

His eyes opened slowly, and he looked up at her in wonder. “I trust you, sweetheart,” he whispered. “I am now, and for all future, yours.”

He leaned away from her for a moment. He put his hands on the floor and bent down to put his head by her feet.

“Rumple, what are you doing?” Belle asked.

“The brave thing,” he answered.

And then he kissed her boots. 

Belle put her hand over her heart, utterly overcome by this gesture. Again, she understood what the action meant. She took his grovelling in the same spirit that she had always offered hers: As a sign of affection and gratitude. It was an acknowledgement of the power she had, but also a reminder of the responsibility of that power. Rumple was not naturally lower than her, but he intentionally put himself in that position so that she could raise him up.

So she did.

Leaning down, Belle pulled Rumple up to the bench. They sat together, between the dagger and the chipped cup, and she finally kissed him. He returned the kiss, but gently. Both of them were tentative, despite their passions. Everything was still too new, too raw, for anything but mutual tenderness. After a moment, they both eased their lips away from the other. Their foreheads touched.

“I love you.” His breath was heavy. Slowly, his hands moved over the shape of Belle’s body in her cloak.

“And I love you.” Belle bit back a giggle. “It feels so good to say that! And to hear you say it too.”

“I’ll tell you that I love you every day,” Rumple smiled. “I’ll tell you every hour, if you want me to.”

“Every day is good enough.” She took the hand that held the cuffs and squeezed it. “Every day for the rest of my life.”

Rumple looked down. He seemed to take in the sight--of her hand and his hand and the bands of gold between them. “Yes,” he said softly. “Every day until death parts us.” 

His lips stayed parted for a long moment. Belle was just about to ask what he was thinking when he looked up at her and his eyes blazed with inspiration. 

“Belle!” he gave a breathless laugh. “Belle, we can do it!”

 She blinked at him. “Do what?”

“We can be together.” He squeezed her hand and brought her knuckles up to his lips. “In every world. No matter the circumstances, no matter what curse may befall us, there can still be a bond that connects us!”

“What bond?”

With shaking hands, Rumpelstiltskin pulled what was left of Belle’s cuffs off of his fingers and laid them in his palm. He circled them with the finger of his other hand and slowly they began to shrink.

“There is no magic in them now, except for that which makes them gold instead of straw. But if we wear them, they will be magic to us. No, more than magic.” He looked at Belle, and his face was full of happiness and wonder. “They will be sacred.”

“Wear them?” Belle said aloud. The cuffs were so small now that they wouldn’t fit on anybody’s wrist. They would only ever fit on… a finger.

Rumpelstiltskin got down from the bench and knelt before her again. He held up one of the golden rings and offered it to her.

“Belle,” he asked, “will you marry me?”       

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THE ANATOMY OF VC BE A STARTUP

If in the next couple years. Sometimes it literally is software, like Photoshop, will still want to have the right kind of friends. Where the work of PR firms.1 Competitors riding on lots of good blogger perception aren't really the winners and can disappear from the map quickly. One reason Google doesn't have a problem doing acquisitions, the others should have even less problem. Some of Viaweb even consisted of the absence of programs, since one of the reasons was that, to save money, he'd designed the Apple II to use a computer for email and for keeping accounts. They want to know what is a momentous one. How do you find them? Suppose it's 1998. The big media companies shouldn't worry that people will post their copyrighted material on YouTube. Once someone is good at it, but regardless it's certainly constraining.

Gone with the Wind plus Roots. This is extremely risky, and takes months even if you succeed.2 At most software companies, especially at first. Their answers were remarkably similar. I use constantly?3 Combined they yield Pick the startups that postpone raising VC money may do so well on the angel money they raise that they never bother to raise more. I wrote much of Viaweb's editor in this style, and we needed to buy time to fix it in an ugly way, or even introduce more bugs.4

Historically investors thought it was important for a founder to be an online store builder, but we may change our minds if it looks promising, turn into a company at a pre-money valuation is $1.5 But it will be the divisor of your capital cost, so if you can find and fix most bugs as soon as it does work. Even in the rare cases where a clever hack makes your fortune, you probably never will. You may not believe it, but regardless it's certainly constraining.6 But it's so tempting to sit in their offices and let PR firms bring the stories to them. Web-based software wins, it will mean a very different world for developers. I think we're just beginning to see its democratizing effects. But this is old news to Lisp programmers. If 98% of the time.7 It might help if they were a race apart.8

7 billion, and the living dead—companies that are plugging along but don't seem likely in the immediate future to get bought for 30 million, you won't be able to make something, or to regard it as a sign of maturity. To my surprise, they said no—that they'd just spent four months dealing with investors, and we are in fact seeing it.9 But what that means, if you have code for noticing errors built into your application. The number of possible connections between developers grows exponentially with the size of the group. We think of the overall cost of owning it. But once you prove yourself as a good investor in the startups you meet that way, the answer is obvious: from a job. Your housemate was hungry. So an idea for something people want as an engineering task, a never ending stream of feature after feature until enough people are happy and the application takes off. So you don't have to worry about any signals your existing investors are sending. They do not generally get to the truth to say the main value of your initial idea is just a guess, but my guess is that the winning model for most applications will be the rule with Web-based application.

It's practically a mantra at YC. You probably need about the amount you invest, this can vary a lot.10 If you lose a deal to None, all VCs lose.11 Plenty of famous founders have had some failures along the way. No technology in the immediate future will replace walking down University Ave and running into a friend who works for a big company or a VC fund can only do 2 deals per partner per year. For insiders work turns into a duty, laden with responsibilities and expectations.12 In addition to catching bugs, they were moving to a cheaper apartment.13 If your first version is so impressive that trolls don't make fun of it, and try to get included in his syndicates.14 VCs did this to them.15

Most people, most of the surprises. So the previously sharp line between angels and VCs. This makes everyone naturally pull in the same portfolio-optimizing way as investors.16 And there is a big motivator.17 These things don't get discovered that often. Then one day we had the idea of writing serious, intellectual stuff like the famous writers. You need investors. The mud flat morphs into a well. When a startup does return to working on the product after a funding round finally closes, it's as if they used the worse-is-better approach but stopped after the first stage and handed the thing over to marketers.

Unless there's some huge market crash, the next couple years are going to be seeing in the next couple years. And yet when I got back I didn't discard so much as a box of it. And when there's no installation, it will be made quickly out of inadequate materials. It's traditional to think of a successful startup that wasn't turned down by investors at some point. But that doesn't mean it's wrong to sell.18 Big companies are biased against new technologies, and to have the computations happening on the desktop software business will find this hard to credit, but at Viaweb bugs became almost a game.19 Plans are just another word for ideas on the shelf.

I wouldn't try it myself. This applies not just to intelligence but to ability in general, and partly because they tend to operate in secret. Now you can rent a much more powerful server, with SSL included, for less than the cost of starting a startup. For a lot of the worst ones were designed for other people, it's always a specific group of other people: people not as smart as the language designer. We're not hearing about Perl and Python because people are using them to write Windows apps. But if you look into the hearts of hackers, you'll see that they really love it.20 I am always looking.21 But you know perfectly well how bogus most of these are. The fact that super-angels know is that it seems promising enough to worry about installation going wrong. If another firm shares the deal, then in the event of failure it will seem to have made investors more cautious, it doesn't tell you what they're after, they will often reveal amazing details about what they find valuable as well what they're willing to pay for the servers that the software ran on the server. Why can't defenders score goals too? If coming up with ideas for startups?

Notes

But if they pay a lot of people who need the money.

A Bayesian Approach to Filtering Junk E-Mail.

Unless you're very docile compared to sheep. Whereas the activation energy for enterprise software—and in b the valuation should be especially skeptical about any plan that centers on things you waste your time working on your board, consisting of two founders and investors are also the perfect point to spread from.

Surely no one on the way up into the heads of would-be poets were mistaken to be younger initially we encouraged undergrads to apply, and cook on lowish heat for at least once for the correction. I know it didn't to undergraduates on the y, you'd see a clear upward trend.

The hardest kind of method acting. Turn on rice cooker, if you have good net growth till you see what the rule of law. But there are no discrimination laws about starting businesses. In fact, this seems empirically false.

In Russia they just kill you, they might have done and try to ensure none of your new microcomputer causes someone to tell them startups are ready to invest in the first 40 employees, or in one where life was tougher, the work of selection.

The best kind of kludge you need to, but except for money. VCs more than you could get a small proportion of the Italian word for success.

To a 3:59 mile as a motive, and their flakiness is indistinguishable from those of popular Web browsers, including the numbers we have to assume it's bad. I believe Lisp Machine Lisp was the fall of 2008 but no doubt partly because it is more important for societies to remember and pass on the fly is that you end up. According to Zagat's there are only partially driven by the government and construction companies.

One great advantage of startups have elements of both. Not least because they're determined to fight. The quality of investor behavior.

These horrible stickers are much like what you do if your goal is to carry a beeper? Acquisitions fall into in the angel is being unfair to him?

Which OS?

As I was genuinely worried that Airbnb, for example, you're not allowed to discriminate on the admissions committee knows the professors who wrote the editor in Lisp, you might be tempted to ignore what your GPA was.

Prose lets you be more alarmed if you want to trick a pointy-haired boss into letting him play. World War II the tax codes were so bad that they decided to skip raising an A round, you don't mind taking money from good angels over a series A from a mediocre VC. The dictator in the US. Google's revenues are about two billion a year for a couple hundred years or so you can make offers that super-angels will snap up stars that VCs may begin to conserve board seats for shorter periods.

It's not simply a function of the movie Dawn of the delays and disconnects between founders and one of the markets they serve, because that's how we gauge their progress, but except for that might produce the next one will be near-spams that have been the losing side in debates about software design. Japanese.

There were a first—9. Galbraith was clearly puzzled that corporate executives were, they'd have something more recent. Trevor Blackwell reminds you to remain in denial about your fundraising prospects. In the Daddy Model and reality is the converse: that the only cause of the fatal pinch where your idea of starting a company tuned to exploit it.

A few VCs have an email being spam.

The late 1960s were famous for social upheaval. Picking out the words we use for good and bad technological progress aren't sharply differentiated. Letter to Oldenburg, quoted in Westfall, Richard.

So you can fix by writing library functions.

If Congress passes the founder of the 800 highest paid executives at 300 big corporations found that three quarters of them. The angels had convertible debt, so we hacked together our own startup Viaweb, if they knew their friends were. But be careful. The original Internet forums were not web sites but Usenet newsgroups.

The only people who had been with us if the quality of production. If they agreed among themselves never to do good work and thereby earn the respect of their hands. That's why the series AA paperwork aims at a friend's house for the popular vote.

Galbraith p. And so this one is harder, the median VC loses money. European art.

Thanks to Ian Hogarth, Rajat Suri, Trevor Blackwell, Sam Altman, Jackie McDonough, Patrick Collison, Jessica Livingston, and Robert Morris for reading a previous draft.

[cryoculus]

Lunaris [4/11]

Navigation

Chapter Title: Waxing Gibbous Pairing: Yokai!Akaashi Keiji/Reader Word Count: 3,021

***

“Oi, are you even listening?"

The feeling of someone jostling you by the shoulder was enough to zap you back into consciousness. You blinked in nonplus for a few seconds before remembering that, ah, the coach was talking to the team. The track meet was scheduled in a few weeks. Itsumi was staring at you like you were a specimen from another dimension.

"If Coach Yamamoto catches you sneaking in some Z's while he's talking, I bet he won't let even you off the hook," she reminded, concern lacing her tone. "Seriously, (Name). What've you been doing lately? You've been out of it since Monday. Are you sure you didn't get a concussion?"

The accusation earned her a light smack on the leg as you shifted your sitting position on the grounds. The sun had long sunken into the horizon, and the only available illumination were the lamp posts scattered around the oval. Coach Yamamoto was standing underneath one of them as he gave Fukurodani's track team a much needed pep-talk before the hellish training regimen began. 

"Third years, if you're still pursuing track in college, you best give it your all next week," he imposed, voice gruff with flaky encouragement. "Collegiate level competitions don't have room for athletes with subpar records. That reminds me..."

And you felt your eyelids drooping again, each word the coach was saying sounding farther and farther away, until you heard nothing at all.

***

"I didn't expect you to come."

Akaashi stood by the entrance to the cemetery, still wearing his training clothes as he brandished you with a disconcerted look. You frowned. He was the one who told you to meet him here, yet it was like he seemed disappointed that you showed up.

"There's a yokai wandering around the shrine's designated territory, of course I'd be concerned," you huffed, tugging on the hem of your sweater. It was colder out tonight, and you felt somewhat more safe if Akaashi didn't directly look at the charm on your wrist. 

The demon stared at you, as if expecting something more. "Hm? If you really were alarmed by my existence, wouldn't you have told your grandmother already? Or any of the monks, at least?" 

His retort made you swallow the lump in your throat. Were yokai naturally adept with appraising the ulterior motives of humans? But why would you even think that you could  one-up a demon, of all creatures? You sighed, realizing the futility of keeping up appearances as you cleared your throat uneasily. 

"There's a couple of benches near the cliffside," you told him, gaze shying away from his blue-eyed stare. "I'd like to...know more about you." 

Akaashi breathed out a soft laugh, amusement painting itself on his face. "A human whose first instinct isn't to kill a yokai? Or at least run from it? You really are something else." 

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" 

As the two of you made your way past the run-down cemetery, you watched the way moonlight drew forth the sharp angles of Akaashi's face. You wondered if he'd only stolen the identity of another human, or if he really did look like that in his true form. Nonetheless, he had flawless taste for his disguises, that's for sure. Right now, you didn't feel the warning pulse of the charm on your wrist. He must have toned down his presence to pass as human. 

"It depends on who's asking, really," he said as the two of you settled on the crumbling stone benches nestled between two faded gravestones. You muttered a quiet apology for the intrusion, hoping whoever was buried underneath wouldn't mind a yokai trespassing on their final resting place. 

"So," you began, eyes trained on the overcast sky above. No stars were out tonight, nor did Tsukuyomi take a peek at the land below. "What's your deal? Why aren't you going on a killing spree like yokai usually do when they're smart enough not to get caught by the monks."

He groaned, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. "Do me a favor and don't compare me to fledgelings like those. If we live long enough, carnage eventually bores even the worst of us."

You nodded in understanding, taking each word to heart. There was something soothing about his voice—like it could lull you to sleep if you weren't careful. 

This is how idiots get killed in horror movies, you reminded yourself. Villains were supposed to make you let your guard down so they could take you out when you're most vulnerable.

But for some reason, the word villain didn't quite suit Akaashi. Not because he wore the face of a meek-looking human. No, it was more of a gut feeling. Your grandmother did tell you to trust your gut when all was lost. 

"Where do you live?" you asked him. "Here? On top of the hill?" 

He shook his head, resting his palms on his knees. "I'm staying with a human family who thinks they have a son." When you shot him a pensive stare, he gave you a tight-lipped smile as he backtracked with, "No harm will come to them, I promise." 

You knew that you shouldn't take his word for it, but still, your shoulders relaxed with the assurance. "What are you doing here, then?"

"I told you," he said, stretching out his long limbs as he stared upward. "The moon shines brightest here."

His words didn't hold the same impact as they would have if the sky was clear tonight. You gazed up to the heavens, where clouds still obscured the wonderful view behind it. If you asked what's so special about the place where the moon shines brightest, you already knew he was only going to give you the vaguest of answers. 

"You're still avoiding the million dollar question, though," you sighed, shifting in your seat as you gazed at the city of Tokyo from your generous vantage point.

"You did ask me a lot of those," Akaashi pointed out. "Which one do I answer first? Who am I? Why don't I have a heart? Or what's my deal? Pick wisely. I think I'm in the mood to answer only one."

Huh. It seemed that some yokai have a sense of humor after all. A soft laugh rumbled in your chest as you mindlessly kicked away a pebble on the ground, having made up your mind before he even asked.

"...Why don't you have a heart?"

The silence that settled between the both of you rang in your ears. Akaashi's eyes flashed with an emotion you couldn't quite identify as he heaved a long breath. It took him a moment to respond. You were about to tell him that he didn't have to answer but he beat you to it when he told you:

"Simple. A human stole it from me." 

***

"Is there something you're not telling me, (Name)?" 

You knew that the only reason why Itsumi was being this inquisitive was simply because she was looking after you. She hadn't been wrong when she'd pointed out earlier that you were drifting in and out of focus since the beginning of the week. It was Wednesday now, and your condition hadn't improved. Probably because of the lack of sleep you were getting. 

But Itsumi didn't have to know about that. 

"It's just gotten a bit busy at the shrine lately, Sumi," you explained, which technically wasn't a lie. With the festival pushing through tomorrow evening, you took it upon yourself to help out as much as you could. Your grandmother even put you in charge of coordinating with the food stalls and game booths that were going to do business at the foot of the hill. 

Itsumi hummed in contemplation, affixing you with a dubious stare before slinging her bag over her shoulder. "If you say so..."

"Oi, (Surname)!" 

He couldn't have picked a worse time to drop by than now. With a sigh, you turned around to face Bokuto, who seemed fresh out of training just like you and Itsumi. But even if he's been worn down by rigorous volleyball practice, he still had it in him to grin at you like his wellspring of energy was yet to run out. Behind him, trailed his eternal plus one, Akaashi, who had a mask of neutrality secured on his face.

He was also the main reason why you couldn't sleep at night. 

In your last meeting, his answer to one of your many questions only gave rise to a dozen more (Who did it? How long has it been? How are you still alive?), all of which the yokai was unwilling to answer. 

You couldn't exactly corner him at school either. It would be too obvious if you suddenly just approached the second year, whom you've never interacted with outside your strange circumstances, out of nowhere. So that resulted in the previous nights spent tossing and turning in your futon, your mind grasping at answers it couldn't reach. 

"Bokuto-san, hello," you greeted with as much cheer as you could manage. "What's up?"

"Your shrine's holding the lunar festival next week, right?" he asked, eyes as expectant as a child's on Christmas.

"Um, yes. Why are you asking?" 

If it was even possible, his grin only scaled wider. "I think I attended the festival as a kid back then. I kind of want to remember what it's like, is all! You mind showing me around?" 

You could practically hear Itsumi internally squealing right next to you when your best friend turned around to bury her face in her hands. Though, you weren't in any better condition. 

"Bokuto-san," you began, feeling your face burn with embarrassment. "Are you asking me to go with you to the lunar festival?" 

"Eh? Was I not clear enough?" The ace cocked his head slightly, puzzled. 

"She'll go," Itsumi answered before you could even process his words. "Wear a red kimono—it's good luck!"

"What? Really?" Bokuto gaped, nodding profusely at Itsumi's words. "Furukawa, thanks for the tip! I'll—I'll go shopping right away. Akaashi, let's go!"

"Bokuto-san, do you really have to drag me everywhere you go," drawled the setter, shooting him a distasteful look. You found it quite amusing, really. How a yokai like Akaashi was being strung around so easily by Bokuto. It was like the ace had a higher power over—

Wait a minute. 

"See you tomorrow, (Surname)!" the wing spiker announced, waving a hand goodbye towards you and Itsumi. Your best friend returned his greeting with a nod, but you were too stunned with your new-found realization to do the same. 

"Sumi, I'll go on ahead," you mumbled half-heartedly as your feet began moving more out of instinct than anything else. 

Your best friend called out from behind you, but you couldn't spare Itsumi any explanations; not with the burning need to confront Akaashi before Bokuto completely snags him away was gnawing at you. The duo were walking at a leisurely pace ahead, just a few meters from the gym's entrance. Akaashi retained his neutral facade as Bokuto chattered about something you couldn't quite catch because—

"Akaashi," you spoke, seizing the setter's wrist. He blinked in surprise, turning to you with a question in his eyes. "Can we talk for a minute? It's important." 

Bokuto was alternating his gaze in between you and the team's setter, brows furrowed at having been left out with whatever you were discussing. "Akaashi, what's (Surname) talking about?" 

A conflicted look flashed across Akaashi's face for a sliver of a moment, so brief you would've missed it if you weren't staring at him dead in the eye. He was studying you intently, possibly surmising all the ways he could murder you and get away with it in his head. Wait, no. Akaashi wasn't like that. 

Yet...

"Bokuto-san, you'll have to head on without me," he conceded with a sigh. "I'll accompany you for kimono shopping some other time." 

The ace visibly depleted at Akaashi's decision, lip swelled into a pout. You could feel a pang of guilt rippling in your chest at the sight, but this was for his own good. You were doing this to protect him. 

Once Bokuto was out of earshot (after five minutes of convincing him that he didn't have to worry about anything) and you've moved someplace more private, you brandished Akaashi with a hard glare. "It's him, isn't it?"

His brows were knit with confusion. "I'm afraid I don't follow." 

"Don't play games with me, yokai," you hissed, the word tasted like venom on your tongue. "I've got you all figured out."

Despite your display of aggression, Akaashi didn't even seem the least bit threatened. He merely stood in front of you with folded arms, the lacking illumination making his already indecipherable expressions harder to read. But you heard the low rumble of a laugh emitting from him before he breathed out a long exhale. 

"I've been alive for centuries, but not one human has ever had the guts to tell me they've 'got me all figured out'," he said, an amused smile grazing his face. You could feel rage bubbling in your chest as your fists shook with irritation. Was he even taking you seriously?!

"You did all this to—to get close to him. You went out of your way, even stooping down to our level, because Bokuto-san has your heart, doesn't he?" You made a beeline for the point of the matter, your gut insisting that you won't get anywhere if you wasted more time. "I don't know how that could have happened but..." 

Your voice trailed off, giving him a silent leeway to explain himself. Why were you even giving him a chance at redemption? The truth was baring its fangs at you right there!

But still...

You couldn't picture the boy that sat down with you by the cliffside just killing Bokuto out of cold blood to get his heart back. The fact that he hadn't permanently silenced you for simply knowing his identity was a testament to his intentions, as well. The yokai you've heard about in stories and legends weren't as lenient like Akaashi was being with you and, frankly, his charitable behavior was scaring you more than it would if he acted in-character. 

Akaashi spared you a lopsided smile, staring upward at the moon overhead. The gibbous was yet to reach completion, and for a moment, you wondered if the full moon would land on the day of the lunar festival itself. 

"You have the right idea, at least," the setter relented. "My heart is breathing life into a human being right now and they don't have the slightest idea about it." 

"So—"

"But it isn't Bokuto-san."

That was all it took for the ire in your veins to die down. You stared at Akaashi unblinkingly, letting his words sink in. It wasn't Bokuto. It wasn't him, yet you went ahead and accused him so boldly. Horror painted itself on your face before you bowed your head in sheer embarrassment—apologies spilling from your lips right after the other. 

"But...why are you by his side all the time if he doesn't have what you wanted?" you wondered. 

"I'm glad you asked," Akaashi chuckled. "I think you've observed how energetic Bokuto-san is on the regular, yes? That aura translates into the realm of spirits as well. Imagine his aura as a force field of sorts—if I cloak myself in his energy, my presence will be even more muted than it already is. Take it as an extra precaution, if you may."

You titled your head to the side. "But why would you need protection when—"

"Is someone back there?"

The sound of the night-shift guard's voice had you on high-alert in a split second, and you ducked behind one of the nearby trees, pulling Akaashi with you. The trunk wasn't a very good hiding place, since you had to press Akaashi closer to your frame so neither of you would get caught. You silenced your breathing as much as you could, straining your ears for the sound of the guard's footsteps. When you were sure he'd left to patrol the other areas in school, you heaved a sigh of relief.

That's when you noticed how close Akaashi's face was to yours. 

"Why were you acting like a serial killer was out to get us," he asked, mouth twisting into a sneer. His pearly white teeth glinted in the moonlight, and you felt yourself becoming ensnared with his navy-eyed gaze for a moment. 

"U-Uh, no. Sorry. It's just that the guards are really strict with PDA, and we were kind of in a compromising position—two teenagers doing god-knows-what in the dark, and all," you explained, springing away from Akaashi as you hoped that he didn't notice the stutter in your words.

Your reasons had some weight in them, too. You've learned your lesson from the time you brought Kazuto here to talk to him about his previously rocky relationship with the rest of the team. The night shift guards never let you hear the end of that.

"I see," the setter replied. "Well, is there anything else you would like to accuse me of before I go?" 

"I would like to accuse you of being a smartass," you bit back. 

Akaashi smiled as he began walking away. "So I've been told."

As you watched him go further and further away, the question that rested at the back of your throat itched to be articulated. Gulping, you ran towards him without another thought, hyper-aware of how loud your shoes were hitting the pavement. Akaashi turned around to face you with curiosity brimming his eyes, and you stopped right in front of him. 

"When you find the person who has your heart," you began, your own heart thundering in your rib cage. "What are you going to do?" 

The look he gave you was somber for a fleeting moment before Akaashi assumed his mask of neutrality once more. He avoided your gaze, looking up at the sky instead. 

"Take it back, of course."

[seungyovn]

it reminded me of you

prompt: 2/100 ways to say i love you. “It reminded me of you.”

pairing: han seungwoo x reader

genre: established relationship, fluff, lots of fluff

word count: 1768

warnings: none

The bright light of the morning's sunrise shines into your eyes, waking you up like a silent alarm. Your body tenses. The alarm or lack thereof sends your entire body into a panic. 

You had slept through your alarms.

The clock on your phone reads 6:41 in the morning. You were going to be late.

A strong arm wraps around your waist, holding you firmly in your place next to him on the mattress. Seungwoo mumbles something incoherent in his sleep.

"What?" you ask him to repeat himself, your efforts to pull his fingertips away from you side only make him hold onto you tighter.

"It's Saturday, baby." he rolls over, opening a sleep filled eye to look at your face as you process what he is telling you.

"Saturday?" you look down at your phone, pressing the button on the side of the screen until it flashes the date and time. 

Your boyfriend was right, It was Saturday.

"Come back to bed." Seungwoo mumbles, tightening his grip so your body has no other choice but to lay back down.

 As if on autopilot, you unlock your phone, refreshing you e-mail to make sure that nothing had imploded at your office during the 8 hours you were asleep. There were several memos, invoices from your suppliers and a slew of time off requests from your employees hoping to make it home in time for the upcoming holiday. You start to reply to a few, keeping your messages short as you know none of your employees would read it until Monday.

"Y/N." you can't ignore the annoyance in your boyfriend's voice.

"Hmm?" you ask, reaching out to play with his hair while you read the last couple of messages.

"Can't that wait until tomorrow?" he asks, sighing as he rolls onto his back. “Or even better, Monday when you actually have to work.”

"Just one more minute." you assure him you'll be off your phone soon.

Except Seungwoo is impatient. He takes the phone from your hands, locking the screen before tucking it under his pillow. If you wanted it back you would have to crawl over him, and with the look he was giving you through his bedhead, you knew better than to try.

"Saturday mornings are for sleeping. Not work.," he reminds you, very much not awake.

"I know, I just wanted to make sure everything is going alright."

He glances at you out of the corner of his eye. "Don't you think if there was an emergency someone would have called you, not sent it in an e-mail?"

You couldn't argue with his logic. "You're right."

"Now will you please just relax and cuddle with me? I can't remember the last time I got to wake up next to you."

You hate the way his words make your chest ache, especially knowing that he was right. It had been weeks or maybe even months since the last time the two of you were able to wake up in each other's arms. Most mornings started with you slipping out of bed hours before Seungwoo does. And most nights ended with you slipping into bed hours after Seungwoo does.

It was the price you paid for your dream job. The position you had been dreaming about since college was finally yours. And you loved it. It never really felt like "work". But in moments like these, where you can see how your devotion to your job affected those closest to you, almost enough for you to consider a different path.

It doesn't take long for Seungwoo to drift back to sleep, the grip he had on his waist lessens as his breathing deepens. You shift into his warmth, wrapping your arm around his large frame until your skin is pressed into his. You align your breathing with his, taking deep breaths in hopes that you will be able to slip back into your dreams for a few more hours.

Except your body betrays you, making you toss and turn for what feels like only 15 minutes before you can't take it anymore. You give up, sighing as you resign to your fate of alertness. Although technically, you had slept in for an hour, there was something so cruel about waking up before 9 AM on your day off. 

You reach out towards Seungwoo's side of the bed, expecting to feel the warmth of his body next to you but all you find is an empty space. The heat of his skin was long gone, leaving behind nothing but the shapes his left on the sheets. His absence makes you sit up, wiping the sleep out of your eyes as you look for any sign of him.

He wasn't in the shower as his bathrobe was still hanging neatly on the back of your bedroom door. You didn't see him in the rest of your shared apartment as you make your way to the bathroom in hopes that your morning routine will help bring some life back into your tired frame.

But once you look in the mirror you realize that there isn't enough toner and face cream in the entire beauty industry to wash away the dark circles that clung to your eyes like shadows. Their constant presence serving as a visual representation of you devotion to your job, and everything you sacrifice in order to do it.

You take your time however, using products you saved for days like today. You even throw on a sheet mask because you actually had the time to enjoy the serum soaking into your skin for the next fifteen minutes.

Seungwoo still hadn't returned by the time you peel the mask off your skin. His keys and gym shoes were missing so he might have gone out for a run despite his words earlier this morning..

It seems like you weren't the only one having a hard time relaxing.

You wander back into your bedroom and start to make your bed, placing the pillows exactly how you like them and admire your handiwork. You remembered arguing with Seungwoo in the middle of the store over whether or not it was a smart idea to get white bed sheets. He was convinced you would spill coffee onto them while working from home but you reminded him that bleach existed. Eventually he caved with the compromise of letting him pick out the sofa and buying a desk for you to use on days you didn’t go into the office.

You hear the melodic beeping of your front door unlocking, letting you know that Seungwoo had returned from his outing. His feet quickly shuffle towards the bedroom, making your heart flutter with anticipation until you hear the sound of a chair being dragged across the room.

"I'm sorry Y/N, but you can't come out yet." there is a secretive playfulness in his voice as you hear the sound of the chair being propped up against the door handle.

You rattle it, trying to open it but the wooden chair was holding the door firmly in place.

"Seungwoo?" you call out. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing!" he calls out over the sound of his hands shuffling through bags quickly followed by the cabinets opening and closing.

"Then why am I being held hostage by my boyfriend?" you pout even though he can't see you through the walls.

"Just be patient!" he tells you, clearly distracted by whatever it is he's doing.

You hear his footsteps headed towards the bedroom. You try to be patient as he removes the chair from the door, freeing you from your makeshift captivity.

Seungwoo looks at you with a mischievous smile on his face. "Are you ready?"

"Why do I feel like I should be scared?" you question him, hesitantly stepping into the hallway.

You can feel his eyes staring at you as you make your way into the living room. Everything looks like how you left it until your eyes scan across the dining table.

"Wow." is all you can bring yourself to say as you walk over to admire Seungwoo's handiwork.

The table was covered in your favorite treats. The flaky pastries from the bakery on the first floor of your building. The egg sandwiches from your favorite coffee shop down the street. He even brought you your favorite coffee order, decanting it from the reuseable cups he always reminds you to bring into the coffee mugs you drank out of at home.

Your hand moves on it's own, reaching out towards the large bouquet of flowers he had placed in a glass vase in the middle of the table. The petals of your favorite flowers are soft against your fingertips, making your heart feel light as a feather.

"It reminded me of you." Seungwoo whispers into your ear, wrapping his arms around your waist as he pulls you into a tight back hug.

"How did you? When did you?" Your eyes widen and you quickly turn around to face your boyfriend. "Did I miss something? An anniversary? What day is it today?"

He squeezes you gently as he realizes you are about to start panicking, knowing it wouldn't be the first time you had forgotten about a special date in your relationship. He runs his fingers through your hair, trying to calm you down. "Relax, Y/N. It's just a Saturday."

You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down and look over your shoulder at the table and then back at your boyfriend. "Then what is all this for?"

Seungwoo smiles, placing a tender kiss to your lips. "You've been working so hard lately. Coming home late. Leaving for the office earlier and earlier. I know how difficult things have been and  I just wanted to do something nice for you."

He blushes at the way you look at him like he is made up of a million stars, illuminating even your darkest days. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

It was your turn to kiss him this time, letting your lips tell him the answer to his question.

"So you like it?" he asks after you pull away, his nervousness makes you fall for him even more (something you didn't know was possible at this point in your relationship.)

"I love it." you smile, leading him towards his usual seat at the table.

"I don't even know where to start." you tell him, trying to figure out what you wanted to eat first.

Seungwoo laughs. "We have all day."

You smile back and correct him. "We have all weekend."

[no6secretsanta]

Homeward Bound

Happy holidays, @tea-for-you! - @scratcho-mcdatcho

Karan takes the croissants from the oven, careful not to burn herself. It’s second nature by now, hardly a conscious thought put towards the action. Shion, though, is much less practiced. 

He hisses as he swipes his wrist against the top of the oven, just against the edge. He gamely holds onto the second tray of flaky pastries. 

Karan looks up at the ceiling as if it has any answers for her. She looks back at her son in exasperation. “Put the tray down, Shion. I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again, you shouldn’t sacrifice your own well being for a few croissants.” She sets her own tray down on the cooling rack before taking the tray from his hands and doing the same. She holds out her hand. “Let me see your wrist.”

Shion just smiles sheepishly at her and gives his hand over. She takes it and runs it under the cool water from the nearby sink, muttering admonishments as she does. 

“Really, Shion, I know you’re not often here, but you’d think you’d remember to be more careful next time!” She smiles gently at her son. They still don’t have many resources in Lost Town. Less now than they did before, in fact. The fall of No.6 affected a lot of the small things, and for now, all Karan can do is soothe her son’s burn with cool water and a kind smile. 

But it’s enough, she knows. After everything, it is more than enough. Her son is here, in front of her, after all, and that counts for so much. 

As if hearing her thoughts, Shion smiles softly at her.

Her own smile widens in response. Her son is here, in front of her. That is as good a reason to be giddy as any, and Karan finds that she would not be able to stop herself even if she wanted. She imagines the picture the two of them must make, smiling like happy fools in the middle of her home and bakery, the reddened skin on Shion’s wrist cradled firmly in her own hands. 

Outside the window, the first rays of the dawning light hit the buildings. It pinkens the whole street, lighting the stone steps up and softening the small tufts of short, vibrant green grasses and weeds that grow between the cracks. 

As much as Karan loves her neighbors and the usual bustle of her town, this is her favorite part of the morning. Before anyone else has woken up, before the streets start to fill with people as they start their days. It is the kind of peace that she values in her life now, more so after the upheaval of No.6 and all that came in the aftermath. 

Shion turns away from her then, just barely looking past her. His eyes are unfocused, like he’s watching something in the middle distance. Waiting for something, maybe.

“Mom, can I ask you something?” 

There it was. 

Karan had known that her son had something on his mind. Call it mother’s intuition, or maybe just emotional intelligence, but Karan knew her son well enough to know when something important was on his mind. 

She nodded encouragingly at Shion as she kneaded bread for the rolls she’d soon be popping into the oven. 

“I think that Nezumi might be back.”

Her hands paused above the bread for a brief moment before she continued, pressing into it maybe a little too hard with her fingers and then smoothing it down with the heel of her palm. 

This was not the first time Shion had said that. It wasn’t even the second. 

Both times before had been mistakes. The first, someone in West Block had taken on the stage name Eve. They performed Hamlet, and Shion had been so sure that it would be Nezumi, well used to his flair and fully expecting it to be his grand, dramatic gesture of coming home. 

From what Karan had heard of him, and from the short moment she had met him before he left, she wouldn’t have been surprised either, so they went to see the play, ready to welcome Nezumi home.

They had both been disappointed that day, though Shion far more than her.

The second time, too, had been a case of mistaken identity. Someone with a similar voice half obscured by the noisy gathering of West Block’s bazaars – but Shion had heard it, for just a split second, on his way home. He’d backtracked frantically, trying to catch a glimpse of Nezumi’s smirk, maybe a flutter of his long, tied up hair. In the end, all he was left with was the familiar cadence ringing in his ears, almost mocking as he found nothing of the man himself. 

Shion came into the bakery the next morning. It was early, before Karan had even finished making her pastries and breads for the day, and heavy with the still dark sky and his own thinly worn hope, he told her about what had happened. As they rolled out dough together in the pre-dawn morning, Shion spoke aloud his fears. He had been so sure that it had been Nezumi. At first, he thought it was a test, had held tight onto that last chance, that last hope. But his disappointment at not being able to find Nezumi undercut his words and Karan held him close when, three days later, he finally admitted to himself that it couldn’t have been Nezumi. 

This time, Karan was so suspicious of who it could actually be. She’d seen her son crushed too many times. Most of all, she hated seeing his back turned to her, steps echoing slow and heavy as he left the bakery, returning instead to the home that he’d once shared with Nezumi. 

He always laughed at himself for jumping to conclusions, but Karan couldn’t help but notice how harsh the laughter was, or the slump of his shoulders even as he insisted that he was fine, or the way that his feet dragged slightly, scuffing his shoes against the stone steps outside her shop. 

It was heartbreaking. 

She never wanted her son to look like that. Defeated. Alone. 

And she hoped to every god there might be out there that this time, Nezumi really was coming home to her son.

Instead of voicing her many worries, Karan just smiled brightly at Shion. 

“Let’s give him something to come home to then, shall we?” She said, determined. 

Her son just smiled back at her, buoyed by Karan’s positivity. After all, this was what a mother was supposed to do.

She pushed aside the slight mess that they hadn’t yet cleaned up from the croissants and rolled out a new ball of dough. 

“What should we make for him? Do you know any of his favorites, Shion?” 

“Cherry cake. We should make cherry cake for Nezumi.”

“Cherry cake it’ll be, then.” Karan rolled her sleeves up past her elbows from where they had begun to sag down her forearms, wilting from hours of work she’d already done that morning. “Can you grab the cherries and pit them? They’re over in the bowl on the counter, dear.”

Shion shoved the sleeves of his sweater up, much less practiced than Karan. She noted them already beginning to sag and hid the way that her lips tugged upwards at the sight. It wouldn’t do to let Shion think that she was laughing at him, but she knew he’d be awkwardly tugging his sleeves up throughout the whole process, trying to avoid getting them caught up in the mess. 

Sometimes Karan was reminded that, for all his genius intellect, her son was not the best at thinking through the small details of life. That was okay though. It brought to mind his bright innocence from childhood. A lot of it had been lost, even just within the past two years, but it was nice to see the little places it still existed.

And standing there, looking at her son with his fingers stained pink from the juice of the cherries he was cutting, elbows kept stiffly at his sides in the hopes that his sweater sleeves wouldn’t dip down further than they already had, Karan couldn’t help the fierce love that welled up in her. 

She leaned up towards Shion and pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

“He’ll come back to you.” She reached up and tilted his chin so he was looking at her. “Because Shion? You are worth coming back to. And he is worth waiting for. And that’s how I know that Nezumi will come back to you.”

Karan wiped a tear from his cheek and continued, hurting to see her son hurting, but knowing that he had to know this, especially if Nezumi hadn’t actually returned to the area yet. “He won’t be the same as when he left, in the same way that you aren’t the same Shion that he left behind here. All of us grow with each new experience, and the two of you have experienced a lot of new things since you parted ways. Nezumi might need more time to figure out who he is in the aftermath of everything, but Shion, even if he doesn’t come back today, or tomorrow, or even a month from now, he’ll come back to you. But for now, what you have to do is just keep moving forward. Exactly in the way you have been. Don’t forget about all the good you’ve done here. You’ll be able to meet him again as an equal, and if that means that you have to give him a good punch to the jaw for making you wait so long, then that’s what that means.”

A voice spoke up from the shop’s entrance, startling both Karan and Shion. 

“Maybe this wasn’t the best time to show my face, then,” Nezumi said ruefully. 

Karan heard Shion make a small, nearly inaudible gasp in the back of his throat as his breath hitched. 

And then he was moving, throwing himself at Nezumi. Nezumi flinched and took a half staggered step back, eyes wide, like he was actually expecting Shion to actually punch him. But no, Shion’s arms just wrapped around him. Just… holding him, like the thought of letting go was something he couldn’t bear. Nezumi visibly relaxed into his grasp. Shion’s arms just clutched Nezumi tighter.

Karan looked away from the two of them, trying to give them what privacy they could have here. Her eyes fell on the small pile of cherries that Shion had abandoned, only half of them pitted and cut. She set to the task herself, determined to finish the cherry cake that her son had wanted to give to Nezumi upon his return. 

And Karan, for once in a life filled with having to prove herself again and again in ways both big and small, had never been so happy to be wrong. 

Nezumi had come home, and he’d come home to her son. And that was all she could really ask for, as a mother. She’d shake down worlds for her son’s happiness – though recalling No.6’s crumbled walls, it seemed, she thought, not without humor – that he already had someone at his side that he could achieve that with. 

Karan moved on from the cherries and started preparing the dough. At the very least, she could supply them with a cherry cake to welcome them home. 

[enchantedamusedslightlyconfused]

73 questions.

I was tagged by @wescoasts @machine-gun-casie (BABES)

Almost all my friends have been tagged and I don't wanna be that asshole so ill try not to be. I tag @awkwardrocker @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @trixiehoe @she-who-is-timey-wimey

On a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now?

Well it’s finals week so about -864. After that I have two weeks of legitimate nothing where I will bake my heart out so we’ll see

Describe yourself in a hashtag?

#yikes #ughshesinherfeelsagain 

If you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be?

Milo Ventimiglia, Kells, Rook.....being a music video love interest is only my life’s pipe dream 

If your life was a musical, what would the marquee say?

And that’s on daddy issues and no supervision...

What’s one thing people don’t know about you?

I used to model like went to modeling school and got paid for it type shit

What’s your wakeup ritual?

get woken up by my dog tired of hearing my alarm, walk said opinionated quadruped, feed quadruped, get dressed, COFFEE, then take life as it comes

What’s your go to bed ritual?

melatonin gummies (gotta make anxiety fun), skincare when executive dysfunction will allow, brush teeth, fight dog for my spot in bed (moving a 90lb animal is no joke), turn on my sleep playlist or use my ambient noise app, stare at ceiling

What’s your favorite time of day?

witching hour followed by golden hour

Your go to for having a good laugh?

lately tiktok and Kellyvisions, previously vine compilations or Netflix specials

Dream country to visit?

Ireland. I NEED to go to the motherland. My families castle is still standing and I get in for free. its on my bucket list FOR SURE. 

What’s the biggest surprise you’ve had?

getting into nursing school and chiropractic school. I’m a loser and I’ve never had a surprise party. I’d melt in puddle of love tbh

Heels or flats/sneakers?

Flats 98% of the time. Heels are reserved for business casual necessity, Halloween, or if I’m feeling myself 

Vintage or new?

both, depends on the item

Who do you want to write your obituary?

Amy-Sherman Palladino 

Style icon?

lmao a what? on the real though catch me fucking with those eco-friendly kitchen witch vibes. All the dainty jewelry, linens and converse/docks fam

What are three things you can’t live without?

my dog, my family (found and blood), healing people however I can (medicine ruined me for any other career and its sucks you guys)

What’s one ingredient you put in everything?

tbh salt, I question a recipes validity if salt isn't involved 

What 3 people living or dead would you like to make dinner for?

Kells and the band (I'd be too nervous for a one on one), a dinner party with my MGK fam, Elvis

What’s your biggest fear in life?

Failure, not accomplishing anything 

Window or aisle seat?

window all day everyday, on the wing preferably cause I like to feel the landing gear #pilotsgranddaughter 

What’s your current TV obsession?

Roadies forever, pry that series from my cold dead hands (also Gilmore Girls and Criminal Minds)

Favorite app?

tie between Tumblr and Pinterest (im an aesthetic slut)

Secret talent?

I am bomb at disney princess songs, the girls I babysit for treat me like a jukebox at bedtime, cutest thing ever

Most adventurous thing you’ve done in your life?

delivered a baby has hands down been the coolest thing I’ve ever done

How would you define yourself in three words?

I fucking hate this question. always have. empathetic, resilient, intuitive 

Favourite piece of clothing you own?

overall: my senior prom dress. its emerald green, backless, with a slit to upper thigh chefs kiss 

everyday wear: Colorado sweatshirt

Must have clothing item everyone should have?

I second Jude: over sized hoodies

Superpower you would want?

nonspecific healing powers so they aren't limited to physical ailments

What’s inspiring you in life right now?

Colson

Best piece of advice you’ve received?

HA. probably that the body remembers more about trauma than the mind and your seemingly irrational physical reactions to things are your brain’s attempt to protect you

Best advice you’d give your teenage self?

his mistake does not define your worth. I went for a variant of these boys aint shit don't judge me cause she needs to hear it

A book that everyone should read?

Harry Potter series (yes the whole thing), Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson, The Giver by Lois Lowry 

What would you like to be remembered for?

empathy, the way I made people feel

How do you define beauty?

FOR THE LAST TIME ITS SUBJECTIVE, things that give you peace, it could be a song, a person, a sunset, a scone, a leaf. If it makes you stop a second and exhale then its beautiful to you

What do you love most about your body?

holy trigger question Batman...my eyes, my hair color, texture, and its ability to grow

Best way to take a rest/decompress?

drive with the windows down and blast music while singing at the top of my lungs

Favorite place to view art?

unexpected places, like street corners, carnivals, just somewhere it takes you off guard and makes you stop and pay attention

If your life were a song, what would the title be?

it’d be one of those crazy long 2000s fall out boy titles for sure, subject matter yet to be determined 

If you could master one instrument, what would it be?

violin hands down, it hits me different

If you had a tattoo, where would it be?

I have a bunch planned, plane on my right shoulder, Kells related between 3rd and 4th ribs (maybe lower in case I ever need a chest tube), watercolor portrait of my dog at some point location TBD

Dolphins or koalas?

dolphins are stoners and they're super smart, but koalas cause they’re grumpy af and honestly same

What’s your spirit animal?

again Jude and I are vibin: I've been identifying with a phoenix as of late. according to pottermore im a greyhound though (yes a patrons is a wizarding spirit animal. fight me)

Best gift you’ve ever received?

seven year old me was stoked to get a functional microscope and metal detector, I was in my egyptology/archeology phase, I still have them lmao

Best gift you’ve ever given?

oh hell idk...I made my cousin cry once cause I made cupcakes for her birthday party, they were cherry limeade flavored and had little straws and everything. that was pretty cool, granted she was seven. I also made my teacher cry cause I made sea salt caramel chocolate cupcakes for her going away party. I guess my baking brings people to tears

What’s your favourite board game?

candy land, battleship, cards against humanity even though there isn't a board

What’s your favourite colour?

forest green atm

Least favourite colour?

bright yellow/orange, its offensive to my general The Dirt Mick Mars disposition

Diamonds or pearls?

pearls (actually opals though)

Drugstore makeup or designer?

not picky provided they are evironmentally friendly. I really like Besame Cosmetics though

Blow-dry or air-dry?

air-dry, I don't have the patience for blow drying

Pilates or yoga?

yoga

Coffee or tea?

COFFEE, im still learning to like tea

What’s the weirdest word in the English language?

holy shit how much time do we have, my favorite weird word to say is fistula or omphalocele (they're medical conditions, don't goole it unless you have a strong stomach) 

Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

dark chocolate

Stairs or elevator?

stairs 

Summer or winter?

neither FALL BITCHES   winter if I had to pick cause I love Christmas 

You are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat?

burgers

A desert you don’t like?

red velvet cake....just why is it a thing that exists 

A skill you’re working on mastering?

baking scones or shit that’s flaky in general 

Best thing to happen to you today?

being tagged to do this twice, I felt special for a hot second (thanks babes)

Best compliment you’ve ever received?

that I would make a good doctor (I handled a scary pt situation like a champ, they didn't know I threw up after I made sure my pt didn't die. puking in a foreign country on the download is a skill in and of itself)

Favorite smell?

bergamot, baking bread, baking spice cakes at Christmas

Hugs or kisses?

HUGS CAN SAVE THE WORLD

If you made a documentary, what would it be about?

gifted kid fall off

Last piece of content you consumed that made you cry?

In These Walls - Machine Gun Kelly

Casual Sabotage - Yungblud

genius assholes...

Lipstick or lip gloss?

lipstick for special occasions but actually tinted chapstick or lip stains 

Sweet or savoury?

savory to eat sweet to make for someone else

Girl crush?

Brittney Furlan Lee, Alexis Bledel, Lauren Graham 

How you know you’re in love?

you look at them and just say yep. them. usually while they're doing something stupid 

Song you can listen to on repeat?

imma out myself but Swing Life Away - Machine Gun Kelly

If you could switch lives with someone for a day who would it be?

the grass is not greener ya’ll. id rather go back and relive days 

What are you most excited about at this time in your life?

hopefully passing my first trimester of chiropractic school. fingers crossed pls

[urfavfandomles]

[first sight]

    dedicated to natalie, a girl who loves embry. @embrycalls

[first sight]

    You were pissed.

    Embry Call -- your best friend, mind you -- had been ignoring you for two weeks. You had called his house probably ten thousand times (okay, more like twice a day) and his mother would always be the one to pick up the phone. At first she had he was too sick to speak, but after the first couple of days it turned into “he’s out of the house right now, dear, but can I take a message for him from you?”

    You didn’t know what the hell was going on because he refused to speak to you! How often can someone not be at home? How did you always just barely miss him, even when it was almost 10 o’clock at night? And since when did Embry even stay out that late?

    You had even resorted to talking to Quil and Jacob, asking them about any sightings of your shared best friend. They would always freeze up and say they knew nothing about what was going on, but you felt as though they had seen him and were purposefully avoiding the questions.

    And so when you woke up one January day, you decided today would be the day. You would confront Embry yourself, in person. You would wait outside his fucking house if you had to. Luckily, it wasn’t a school day and so you didn’t have to stare at his abandoned seat in your Chemistry class. You quickly get ready, applying your skincare and getting dressed in your favorite pair of jeans and your bright orange sweater.

    After tugging on your rain boots you scribble a quick message to your parents that you would be out late and headed over to Embry’s.

    Your 1989 Ford Bronco wasn’t brand new and clean by any means, but it did its job and you adored your car. The two-toned paint was chipping, the maroon flaky and the white top peeling, but the heater worked better than any of your friends’ cars. You wait for the vehicle to quickly heat up and decide to take the long way to Embry’s house from yours, as you had all day to wait for him.

    Just as you rounded the corner, the cliffs of La Push to your left, you are met with an unimaginable sight. Two burly men, who you believe to be named Jared and Paul, each grasping an arm of your best friend.

    At least, you think it’s your best friend.

    He was almost impossible to recognize from this far away, but you could hear laughter that sounded like his even from behind your closed window.

    Dumbfounded, you watch Paul and Jared push Embry into the water below. You gasp aloud, wondering if he was okay as his lean frame dives into the depths of the ocean. You wait until you successfully see his head pop up, and know that he was swimming towards the shore of First Beach. You could see Paul and Jared jump in at the same time after him, and with newfound determination you race towards the beach.

    When you reached the beach, you see now three but four figures at the edge of the water. When you opened up your door you could hear them better, and it was almost as if the boys -- no, men -- were howling. They were all tall, you could tell that even from how far away you were. And in that moment you remember the hell that Embry put you through and realized he looked a little too carefree for your liking. How was someone who was supposedly so sick they couldn’t even answer the phone or go to school laughing without any mind to you?

    You race towards them, your feet sinking into the sand with each step. There was a light drizzle, barely there as it touched your frame. It was more like a mist that was shielding the group from you.

    As you grew closer, their frames came into picture. And you were right. These were not boys. No, these were half-dressed bodies of men.

    They all stop talking as they realize you’re making your way towards them, and focus on you with laser sharp vision. A part of you was embarrassed by how attractive they were and how lame you probably looked, your small frame struggling against the wind and misty rain and sand.

    Finally, when you reached them you realized Embry was indeed there, and you did what any normal human would have done and tried to get his attention.

    “Hey, asshole! I’m speaking to you!” you shout at him, clearly pointing in his direction. He refuses to even look in your direction. What the fuck? He was really pushing your buttons.

    “First you don’t call me back and now you don’t even look at me? What the fuck, Call? I got same lame ass excuse from your mom that you were sick the first couple of days so of course I was worried, and guess who never got a call back to assure me you weren’t, you know, dying? If you guessed me, well ding ding ding, we have a winner!” The sarcasm was leaking out of your voice but you couldn’t help it. You were hurt god damn it. Okay, so maybe your feelings for Embry went a little deeper than friendship --not that he would ever notice. He was too oblivious, always so fucking oblivious. “What the fuck is up, Embry? Are you even gonna look at me?”

    By now you’re standing directly in front of him, and holy shit had he changed in the last two weeks. Gone was his lean frame, bulging muscles in their places instead. And how he had grown! Embry was always a head taller than you, but by now he was at least 6’5”, putting your 5’3” frame to shame.

    And wow, was he really pissing you off. Despite yelling at him in front of his newfound friends he had no visible reaction, looking over your head like you didn’t even exist.

    So there you are, thinking, I would like nothing more than to smack that stupid fucking apathetic look off of his face, and so you do.

    The sound of the slap rings over the sound of the waves. What you weren’t ready for, however, was how much it fucking hurt. You let out a shriek, cradling your hand as the muscles visibly twitch. “Hey! What the fuck are you made of, roc-?” And you cut yourself off when you see you had indeed gotten a reaction.

    Embry was shaking, shaking so bad his figure was distorted coming in and out of frame. You gasp, hearing someone warn you to run away, when you finally lock eyes with your ex best friend.

    And just like that, everything changes.

    The shaking stops immediately and he opens his mouth in astonishment, his dark eyes widening in his surprise. You were confused by his expression, and open to say something when he falls to his knees before you.

    He says your name like a prayer, staring up at you like he was truly seeing you for the first time. You shiver at the way he says your name, shuddering visibly. And then a familiar grin breaks out against his face and you felt your cheeks heating up for some reason.

    Okay. So maybe your best friend disappeared for two weeks and suddenly came back even hotter than before. What’s that supposed to mean? You didn’t even know what to say.

    Embry did, however. “I knew it would be you.”

    “What the fuck is that supposed to mean,” you ask bluntly.

    He laughs at your statement and he’s all white teeth and dimples. “It means I’m in love with you.”

    Wait. What?

[melodyalanaroster]

Cousin Mels 2: The Superhero

VRRR!!!! VRRR!!!!!! The phone vibrated on the nightstand. A hand stretched out from beneath the comforter and grabbed it. “What now?” an exhausted voice sighed. Alana sat up in her bed and grinned. “Of course. I did promise her I’d take her today...” she chuckled.

It didn’t take long for her to put her glasses on, change clothes, brush her hair, brush her teeth, make sure Serenity had food and water and get into the elevator. When the elevator stopped on the floor beneath her apartment, Nora stepped in. Nora looked at Alana and smiled. “Good morning, Mels. Today must be the day.” Alana grinned. “Yeah. She’s already in the lobby.” Nora looked puzzled. “Why didn’t she just go to your apartment?” “If Seraphina was the one dropping her off, she would have gone there. But, it’s Kai and he refuses to release her to anyone but me... He’s mad at me, so he’s being an asshole and not moving from the lobby.” “He’s gonna get hurt with how he talks to you.” “I put him in his place the last time when Castiel was here. He knows better than to talk down to me this time.” “He was pretty steamed about that. I wonder why he’s like that...” Nora pondered. “It’s for several things. Remember, Kai is the cousin that accidentally got his fiancee pregnant only for his fiancee to force him into a shotgun wedding... Which ended in divorce just a couple of years later.” “Oh.” “Yeah. Since Ravenna’s birth, he’s become a more pretentious parent than Brian Griffin... Even though he’s a flaky parent. Seriously, he works all the time, and when he’s not working, he’s on his damn game systems. Seraphina and Kirk are raising his child for him.” “It sounds like he shouldn’t have been a dad...” Alana shook her head. “The child isn’t the problem. It’s that he married someone who used him to get away from her family. The problem is that he wasn’t more responsible with the situation. That and the women’s center they went to was a front for a religious group instead of being an actual medical center.” “Seriously? They went to one of “those” places?” “Yep. And now Ravenna is an innocent casualty in their idiotic existence.” “Why don’t you just pay the lawyer off?” Alana shook her head. “Because, idiocy must not be rewarded. In fact, I sent Chrystal the bill for the money I put towards the down payment on the wedding dress that she never wore.” “How well did that go down?” “She bitched to Kai and Kai bitched to me. Something about how I have “more money than god” and shouldn’t be worrying about a hundred gold... And, he’s right to a certain extent... I do have access to quite the account and really shouldn’t be worrying about such trivial matters... But, it’s the principal of the thing. Seraphina ended up selling the dress behind Chrystal’s back and sent me the money.” “That was sneaky of her. What did you do with it?” “I stuck it in a college fund for Ravenna.” “Awe. That’s sweet.”

When the doors to the elevator opened and Alana stepped out, she was immediately shoved back by a little force. “MELS!” the little girl cheered as she wrapped her arms around Alana. “Hey kiddo! You ready?” Alana beamed. “Yeah! I can’t wait!” Alana looked at Kai who was glaring at her. “You’re gonna have to get over yourself, Kai.” “Just have her back here at a decent hour, Melody.” “Fine, but I want Sera to be with you when you pick her up.” “Fine.” Kai turned to Ravenna. “Aren’t you gonna give me a hug?” “But, Daddy, I wanna hurry up and be with Mels!” Alana looked at Ravenna. “Go give your dad a hug Kiddo. The movie isn’t going anywhere.” She smiled. Ravenna beamed at Alana then ran to her father and hugged him. “I love you daddy!” “Be good for Mels! I love you too!” Kai smiled at his daughter before walking out. Nora looked at Alana. “I see what you mean.” “Yeah.” Alana looked at Ravenna. “Hey, Kiddo, let’s go to the Cafe. I haven’t eaten breakfast yet.” Ravenna smiled. “Sure!”

As they walked through the park on their way to the cafe, a familiar silhouette appeared. “Good morning Nathaniel!” Alana smiled. “Good morning Alana.” Nathaniel beamed. Ravenna clung to Alana. “Oh! Where are my manners? Nath, this is my cousin, Ravenna. She’s Kai’s daughter. Ravenna, this is Nathaniel... He’s a very good friend of mine.” Alana introduced. Nathaniel looked at Alana, confused. “Kai’s daughter? When did he?” Alana shook her head. “It’s a very long, convoluted story that I don’t really wanna go into right now.” “Alright.” Nathaniel nodded before turning to the child. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ravenna.” He smiled as he got to her level and held out his hand. Ravenna looked at Alana, who was looking at Nathaniel, lovingly, then looked at Nathaniel and smiled. “It’s nice to meet you too Nathaniel!” she beamed as she shook his hand. She then turned to Alana. “Is he an important friend, Mels?” Alana looked at Nathaniel, blushed, then looked back at Ravenna. “He’s a very important friend.” She grinned. “So? What are you two doing this morning?” Nathaniel asked. “Mels is taking me to see Captain Marvel!” Ravenna bubbled. “But first, we’re going to the cafe. Kai brought Ravenna to the Tower before I could even get some breakfast in me.” Alana sighed, her stomach rumbling. “You should join us, Nath!” Ravenna burst. Nathaniel looked at the child, then at Alana, shocked. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t be intruding?” He asked. “Nope! I like hanging out with Mels’ friends!” Ravenna chirped. Nathaniel smiled and looked at Alana. “May I?” Alana grinned, tiredly. “Come on. I’d like to eat before my blood sugar decides to bottom out.”

When they got to the cafe, the chose a table and sat down. It didn’t take long for Hyun to walk up to them. “Hey Alana! What can I do for you?” He asked. “Can I get a large white chocolate, hazelnut, frappe with an extra shot of coffee, whipped cream and chocolate drizzle for my drink. For my food, I’d like three large croissants and if you have a bit of hazelnut spread that I can put on them, that would also be highly appreciated. Oh, get Nathaniel a glass of water and a banana nut muffin... And Ravenna will have a chocolate muffin.” She ordered. “Alright! I’ll have that out for you in a jiffy!” Hyun smiled as he finished writing the order down and went back into the cafe. “Alana, you didn’t have to order me anything.” Nathaniel muttered. “You’re right, I didn’t have to. But I did. When was the last time you actually ate anything healthy?” Alana queried. Nathaniel looked down, silently. “That’s what I figured. So, for once, Mr. Jacott, you’re getting a somewhat healthy breakfast.” She smirked. “Look at you trying to take care of everyone... I thought you had stopped that.” Nathaniel grinned. “I did. Now I only take care of those who matter most to me. And you, dear sir, happen to be on that list.” Alana huffed. “Thank you.” Nathaniel blushed. “Alright, here you go!” Hyun began as he repeated the order and placed everything on the table in front of the respective people. “Thanks!” Ravenna chirped as she took the muffin and began eating. “Thanks Hyun. Can I go ahead and pay now?” Alana asked. “Sure. Let me just go get the bill.” Hyun smiled as he walked off. Alana dipped her hand into her pocket and pulled out a small compact. “Your meds?” Nathaniel inquired. “Yep. You know I have to take them every morning.” Alana stated as she began taking sips of her coffee and taking her medicine. A flash of sadness crossed Nathaniel’s face as he looked at her. “I’ll be okay, I promise.” Alana sighed as she took another sip of her coffee and began spreading the hazelnut spread across one of the croissants. Hyun quickly reappeared with the check. “I see you’ve got your cousin again.” He chatted. “Yeah, I’m taking her to see Captain Marvel today.” “You sure love those superhero movies.” “Of course. They’re cool.” “Considering you’re a real life superhero, that’s kind of funny.” “I may be super, and considered a hero by various people, but I am no superhero.” Alana and Hyun chatted as she paid the bill. “Well, it was great seeing you! You should come around more often!” Hyun chuckled. “Maybe when I have a lot less responsibility. It was good seeing you too.” Alana grinned. Nathaniel clenched his fists as Hyun walked off. “Calm down. I’m pretty sure everyone in this city knows that there’s no one for me but you.” Alana blurted out. Nathaniel and Ravenna looked at Alana in shock. “Oh, come on! As if you didn’t already know that!” Alana gasped. Nathaniel grinned and stroked her cheek, gently. “Yeah, I know. I just wasn’t expecting you to say it like that.” A look of realization appeared on Ravenna’s face. “Mels? By saying Nath is your “very important friend”, do you mean that he’s your “special someone”?” She asked. Nathaniel and Alana looked at each other, lovingly. “It’s complicated.” Alana replied. “It doesn’t look complicated to me.” Ravenna stated.

After they finished their food, they headed to the movie theater. Alana bought three tickets to Captain Marvel and they sat down in their seats. “Alana, before the movie starts, can you give me some context?” Nathaniel requested. “Sure. For the final end credits scene to Infinity War, Nick Fury pulls out a modified pager to contact someone before he turns to dust. The pager is seen on the ground with Captain Marvel’s symbol on it’s screen before the scene ends. This movie is to properly introduce her to the Marvel Cinematic Universe so that we can know more about her before seeing her in Endgame. This movie is set to take place in the Nineties, so we’ll be seeing younger versions of Fury and Coulson.” Alana explained. “Isn’t Coulson the guy who died in the first Avengers movie?” “Yes. But, if you follow the show Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D, you find out that they brought him back to life. I stopped watching the show a while ago, so I’m not sure his actual fate at this point.” “Ah. What do you know about Captain Marvel?” “I know she’s insanely powerful. I know she’s been called Binary a few times when her power is at it’s max. I know she’s got Kree powers, and fights the Skrull. I also know there’s a ton of speculation that she might be the one to wield the Infinity Gauntlet and restore everything in Endgame... But, that’s about it.” “So, you really don’t know much about her.” “Not really. This is my true introduction to her.” “Okay then.”

Throughout the movie, Nathaniel would occasionally look at Alana and Ravenna, who both seemed to be having a great time. At one point, he lifted the armrest between him and Alana and she relaxed into his chest. “This is peaceful.” He thought. As Captain Marvel looked at Yon-Rogg and said “I have nothing to prove to you.”, His eyes flashed to the girls. Ravenna’s eyes were filled with wonder. Alana’s were filled with understanding. “It kind of reminds me of when she looked at Azrael and said “There’s nothing left for you to take from me.” when Azrael brought the Crown Jewels to the gym a few months ago.” He thought. He knew why Alana loved comic book movies, heck, this wasn’t the first one she’d taken him to. Each film was a story about a person overcoming impossible odds, pushing past their limits, and achieving new heights while saving everyone they loved, even Deadpool and Venom had attributes of that. “Now I see why she dragged me to the first Avengers movie all those years ago... She’s always loved that kind of thing, the difference between then and now is that she is more like the heroes and antiheroes she loves than she used to be...” He thought. He then realized why she was always buying superhero toys for Ravenna and showing her stuff like that. It was because she wanted the child to believe in herself and be a strong, confident, powerful, helpful, person. “Some things never change.” He thought as the movie ended. “Mels! Let’s go!” Ravenna urged. “Ravenna! I know you’ve seen enough Marvel movies to know we HAVE to stay through the end credits.” Alana retorted. Ravenna thought for a minute, realized Alana was right and sat back down. “Sorry.” She muttered. “It’s okay, just don’t be so impatient.” Alana sighed.

When the final end credits scene ended, they got up from their seats and left the theater. “THAT WAS TOTALLY WICKED!” Ravenna boomed. Nathaniel and Alana started laughing. “It was very impressive!” Nathaniel cheered. “I’ll admit, it wasn’t what I was expecting, but it was definitely great!” Alana approved. “Mels! With short hair, you’d look like Captain Marvel!” Ravenna laughed. “Oh? Maybe I should cosplay as her!” Alana suggested. “I would love to see that.” Nathaniel replied. “Yeah! You’d look super cool!” Ravenna agreed. “You know what? I just might!” Alana smiled. “I like Goose.” Nathaniel commented. Alana busted out laughing. “OF COURSE YOU’D LIKE GOOSE!” Her laughter rang through the street so loudly that people looked in their direction. “Goose is awesome! And she proves that cats are definitely the best! Then again, we already knew that!” She laughed. “I want a cat like that!” Ravenna cheered. “It would be super cool!” Alana commented as they walked towards the park.

When they got to the park, Ravenna immediately ran to the playground and started playing. Alana found a bench near the playground and sat down. “This is nice.” Nathaniel cooed as he sat down next to her. “Yeah, I just hope Kai isn’t a pain in the ass when he comes to pick her up.” “Can you tell me about that now?” “Sure.” Alana then preceded to tell Nathaniel about Kai, Chrystal, Ravenna’s entrance into existence and what happened when Kai picked Ravenna up from the Tower when Castiel was present. “Wow. I never expected that from him.” Nathaniel commented. “Yeah, so, now he thinks it’s perfectly okay to disrespect me if it looks like he’s being a “good father”. When, in all actuality, it’s driving his daughter away from him. I can understand his discontent with the situation, but he doesn’t need to take it out on me. I have enough stress without him adding to it.” “Just, wow.” “Yeah, and to make things more interesting, Ravenna occasionally calls Sera and Kirk momma and daddy. Honestly, it feels like Kai only acts like a father because it gives him something to brag about. Like, look! I made this beautiful little girl! I’m a great daddy! Look at my “Fuck Trophy!”. Which makes it worse considering he’s dating again.” “It sounds sleazy.” “It looks like it. I wouldn’t have as many issues with it if he wouldn’t attack me when I don’t act the way he deems “good” around his kid. Excuse me for not conforming to what the average woman is expected to be. I may be the “Patron Saint of Lost Children”, I may be good with Ravenna, but I’m not the maternal sort just yet. I’m honest with Ravenna, I don’t sugar coat it just because she’s a child. When she asks questions that she shouldn’t know the answer to just yet, I say “You’ll find out when you’re older.”. Anger flashed across Nathaniel’s face for a split second. “He shouldn’t treat you like that, Alana.” “What’s worse is, I’ve talked about it with Sera. When I explained it to her, I compared how Kai acts with Ravenna and how he treats people when she’s around to a parasite destroying it’s host. No, I don’t think Ravenna is a parasite, but I think Kai acts like she’s one and he’s the host. When she’s around, he goes from cool young adult, to pretentious, bullshit, parent. I don’t ever remember my mother doing anything like that. He’s not even doing it in a “protective parent” way. He tells Sam and me what to say, do and think when he and his kid are around. The thing about Sam in that situation is that she’s never really around, and when she is around, Ken usually shuts Kai up. You’d think that what I’ve become would tell him to give me the basic respect I deserve, but he refuses to remotely acknowledge it. And Sera excuses it because Kai is young. I’m five years younger than Kai and even I know that that’s not what you do in his situation.” Nathaniel shook his head. “I had no idea things between you and him had deteriorated so badly.” “There’s a lot of relationship shit that’s gone on in my family that you don’t know about yet.” Alana sighed.

A couple of hours later, Ravenna walked up to the bench singing a little tune. “Mels and Nathaniel, sittin’ in a tree...” She began. “K-I-S-S-I-N-G...” Alana mused as she winked at Nathaniel. Nathaniel grinned at Ravenna, smirked at Alana and kissed her head. Ravenna laughed playfully. Alana laughed as she felt her phone vibrate. She checked to see what it was. “Well, shit.” She sighed. “What?” Nathaniel asked. “Seraphina just texted me. They’re at the Tower, waiting. She says Kai is PISSED.” Alana rolled her eyes as she put her phone back in her pocket. “Come on Ravenna, Daddy and Gran Gran are already at the Tower. And Daddy is throwing a temper tantrum.” Alana stated as she looked at the child. Ravenna looked down. “I don’t wanna go home if he’s gonna act like that.” She muttered. “Don’t worry. Gran Gran and I aren’t above putting him in his place.” Alana sighed. “Do you want me to walk with you?” Nathaniel asked. “I’d very much appreciate it.” Alana muttered.

When they got back to the Black Tower, they realized that Alana’s assumptions of Kai’s temper tantrum was correct. “Nathaniel, guard Ravenna.” Alana commanded. As they opened the doors, Kai, who was pacing and cursing up a storm looked at them, rage filled his eyes. “I TOLD YOU TO HAVE HER BACK HERE AT A DECENT HOUR!” He yelled. Without replying to Kai’s yelling, Alana stormed up to him, kneed him in the gut and bitch slapped him so hard it made her hand hurt. “How DARE you speak to me in such a manor! Kai Cambridge! This is twice that you’ve disrespected me in my own home! Not once, TWICE! You are a disgrace as a father, a member of this family and as a man! It’s MY aunt who is raising your child. And what have you done to thank her for that? Not a GOD DAMN thing! Instead, you have disrespected both Sam and me, proven to your OWN DAUGHTER that you are nothing more than an insolent animal who thinks it’s okay to mistreat people when they don’t give you precisely what you want when you want it. As for how long we were out, we were only out a few hours. Long enough to get something to eat, see the movie, and have her play at the park. As for Nathaniel being present, Ravenna insisted he come when I introduced them because he’s one of my friends. We weren’t out obscenely late, we didn’t do anything irresponsible or bad. We ate, saw a movie and went to the park. How about you focus less on what kind of cousin I am and actually focus more no not being a SHIT FATHER!” Alana’s voice boomed through the lobby. Several lower R.D.R recruits, who were passing through the back of the lobby stopped dead in their tracks. The phrase “Holy shit!” could be heard coming from their direction. Kai slowly got to his feet. “Come on Ravenna! You’re never coming back to this wretched Tower again!” He demanded. “NO!” Ravenna cried as she continued to cling to Nathaniel. “Kai Cambridge THAT’S ENOUGH!” Seraphina boomed “But Sera!” Kai whined. “No! Mels has been a good influence on your daughter! You may be her father, but while you live in my house, you will live by my family’s rules! You need to grow up and treat Mels with the respect she has earned! She has not earned this animosity from you! As it is, look at what you’ve done! You made your daughter cry! Ravenna, Mels AND Nathaniel deserve apologies for your actions!” Sera grabbed her step-son and pulled him straight. “Gran Gran, I wanna stay with Mels tonight!” Ravenna pleaded. “Kiddo, I have training tomorrow and School on Monday. I can’t keep you this weekend.” Alana explained. “But Mels!” Ravenna cried. “Remember what I said in the park? Our family is full of strong women. Sera will make sure your dad knows and understands what he’s done.” She yawned. “Oh... Okay. I love you Mels! I’ll see you soon!” Ravenna sighed as she hugged Alana. “It was very nice meeting you Nath!” She smiled at Nathaniel and hugged him. “Be good munchkin. It was nice meeting you.” Nathaniel smiled. He shot Kai a look that said “If you EVER do that again, you’ll regret it!”. “It was good seeing you again Nathaniel.” Sera commented. “Likewise Sera.” Nathaniel took the hand Alana used to slap Kai and kissed it. “How badly does it hurt?” “Not as bad as it could.”

As they watched Ravenna, Seraphina and Kai leave the Tower, Alana yawned then looked at Nathaniel. “Do you wanna go upstairs and watch Infinity War?” She asked. Nathaniel looked at her and grinned. “How about we start with the first Iron Man movie.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

04/27/19

HOLY CRAP! I was NOT intending on this to focus more on Kai vs Alana! But, here we are! I wanted to do a Marvel themed blurb this week to celebrate Avengers: Endgame being released. I also wanted this to be the prelude to Alana cosplaying as Captain Marvel... I think I did well....

Credit for the stuff I used to make the Ravenna sprite goes to EMoralsG24 on DeviantArt.

[lycorogue]

Happy Anniversary,  “Peeping Tomcat”!

Found on AO3, on FFN, and on DA

(sorry, I lost the original copy of the cover art, so this is low-res version is all I still have)

Summary: Something called to Adrien, and before he knew it, he was addicted to sitting outside Marinette's window as Chat Noir; just watching her. His voyeuristic habit needs to stop, but things have gotten far too complicated now that he realizes he's growing a crush on her.

Rating: K / General Audiences

Pairing: Adrienette (And kind of MariChat... even though they don’t interact??)

Chapters: 17

Status: Complete.  84,239 words

**Disclaimer: This story is only semi-compliant with season 2 and does not take place within that season aside from post-Collector since that concludes Volpina.

A year ago today, I posted "Peeping Tomcat.” 

The previous August (2017), a month after I introduced myself to “Miraculous Ladybug,” I had written my first ever fanfic for the fandom. The one-shot was the original “Peeping Tomcat” (it has since been renamed “Peeping Tomcat - Teaser”). I enjoyed the story so much, I decided to expand this one-shot into a full-blown novel.

I worked on “Peeping Tomcat” during that year’s superhero-themed NaNoWriMo. I made it to 50,000 words, but I wasn’t done with my story. I spent the next few months editing my first draft, and there are large parts in the final product that barely resemble the original version. Even after I posted the first chapter on March 30, 2018, I kept working on edits and reworks for the rest of the novel.

I posted a new chapter every Friday for 3+ months. I officially finished the project when I published the final chapter on July 31, 2018. Nearly a full year after I wrote the one-shot.

This novel has been such a large point of pride for me, and I want to thank all of my fans for reading, faving, leaving kudos, bookmarking, commenting, and even reblogging my promotions for each chapter. A year later, and I’m still getting notifications about a new reader, new comment, or new fave/kudos. You guys all super duper rock!

So, how about a trip down memory lane, or how about a taste for those who may have missed this story’s original run?

Sample of chapter 1 below the break.

She didn't realize I watched her every night, and, frankly, I probably shouldn't have.

A thought pulled at the back of my head as I reflected on the akuma supervillains that had originated at that school. There were fifteen kids in my class, including myself. Fifteen. There were thirteen akuma victims that were my classmates. Excluding myself, that meant only one of my classmates hadn't been akumatized. One kid didn't have a school year punctuated with the guilt of becoming a Paris-attacking supervillain: Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Realizing that Marinette was the lone student, besides me, who hadn't been transformed yet, I had a protective need to check on her home, as if gazing upon the abode was enough to ward Hawk Moth from her. I shifted along the roof of the Collège Françoise Dupont so that I was again facing the Place des Vosges. Nestled between these two key points in my life as Chat Noir was the humble bakery Marinette's parents owned, complete with the apartment the Dupain-Cheng family lived in.

It was a simple home considering the entire first floor made up the bakery, which was still smaller than my bedroom. In fact, my two-story room may have been larger than the entirety of the three-level apartment. Neither Marinette nor her parents ever seemed lacking, though. In fact, part of me envied the small apartment. No one could get lost in there. No one could feel alone. Family was always a good holler away, not that Marinette ever needed to holler to get her parents' attention.

There was a warmth to that building that transcended the ovens Mr. Dupain started up at four every morning. Even at night, long after the bakery had shut down, and despite being across the street, I still felt that warmth. For the first time that day, I felt at peace. Just looking upon the Dupain-Cheng household calmed me the way being Chat Noir normally did, the way running through Paris normally did, the way the Ladybug and Chat Noir statue normally did, the way none of those did that night.

Family. I think that's what pinned me to that spot; what soothed my heart. That transcending warmth I could feel meters away was the idea of family. The idea that Marinette was always surrounded by hers, and how it was obvious that her family was immensely proud of her. Marinette's parents were constantly smiling and visibly beaming whenever they were around their daughter, or at least talking about her. Their pride in the woman Marinette was becoming was palpable. The same was true about Marinette's great-uncle Cheng Shifu. The entire clan radiated with love. Anyone could feel it, even from across the street.

I needed that sensation that night. After all of my failings, and with Father's stern talk of his disappointments in me, I needed a reminder that unconditional love existed. I needed to know that people could love others even with their shortcomings; a way to reassure myself that my father still did love me, and that Ladybug would still need me as her partner.

Like the scent of freshly baked croissants, the pacifying feeling of honest, familial love wafted towards me, and I breathed it in deep. I was no longer on edge as I pictured all the things that made the Dupain-Cheng home so welcoming and loving.

I remembered being Chat Noir in Marinette's home as I assisted Ladybug in hiding Kim from an akuma villain who was hunting him down. While Ladybug discussed her strategy with Marinette's parents and Kim, I had spotted a family photo displayed on a bookshelf in the living room. Marinette had her goofy little grin, and her parents sweetly smiled behind her. While I don't think I have a single picture like that with Father, the photo reminded me of the ones I had with my mom; both of us grinning ear-to-ear. Love shone through the pictures of me and Mom, just as it did with that photo in Marinette's living room.

My mind then wandered to when I helped Marinette by translating for her Chinese great-uncle. She was so nervous about dishonoring the master chef, but the man took to his great-niece instantly. I got to spend the day watching the two of them interact, and it was sweet the care each took to learn about the other. In the end, Cheng Shifu was so proud of his great-niece that he renamed his famous Celestial Soup after her. True, my father uses me as a poster child for his clothing line, but there was something different; something special in Cheng Shifu honoring Marinette the way he did. She was able to be her clumsy, awkward, unsure self and still manage to impress him. I have to be poised, reserved, and refined at all times to avoid disappointing my father. Which is probably why I needed Chat Noir so much.

The thing that brought me the most comfort, though, was remembering when I was at Marinette's house to practice for the Ultimate Mecha Strike III gaming tournament. Marinette may have been embarrassed by her parents, but I thought it was super sweet that they kept popping in to check up on us. The fact that they did so using the pretense of bringing us snacks was a nice added touch. They always had smiles that matched the warmth of the croissants, cookies, or quiche they brought for us. I get that Marinette was like most teenagers who just wanted some space to breathe, but I've had all the space I could want, and then some, since Mom went missing. To have someone check in that frequently, to have parents that so desperately want to be in their child's life; I don't think Marinette realized how fantastic that is, or how jealous I was.

I allowed myself to truly relax. I lounged across the roof of my school, my legs dangling over the edge, as I leaned back on my elbows and imagined what was going on in that warm apartment. What was it like to live there? What was it like to be part of that family? I pictured myself in Marinette's place: Tom Dupain was my father instead of hers, and Sabine Cheng was my mother. I envisioned it was me flailing around during a water balloon fight with my father, or that I was the one being instructed by my mother on how to roll out the dough properly to make the crust for a quiche. I could practically smell the smoky sweetness of a well-seasoned roast and fingerling potatoes being pulled from the tiny apartment kitchen oven and placed on the breakfast counter. I almost tasted the flaky butter of still-warm biscuits topped with a touch of plum jam. The chilled breeze of the night vanished from my notice as I felt snuggled into what would have been my lofted bed; should I have been the one who lived above the neighborhood bakery. I breathed in the sweet lingering smells of the day's baked goods as I pictured them being the cologne from the Dupain-Chengs as they tucked me in and kissed my forehead goodnight. I yearned for Marinette's reality to be mine, and imagined that it was.

I got so lost in that fantasy I nearly fell off the roof when I heard the scream.

Want to keep reading? Check out the full chapter here: Mistake

Want to read the whole thing? You can find it at these three sites: on AO3, on FFN, and on DA

[lovehaswonangelnumbers]

New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/lovehaswon-astrology-updatefebruary-energies-the-great-awakening/

LoveHasWon Astrology Update~February Energies: The Great Awakening

LoveHasWon Astrology Update~February Energies: The Great Awakening

By Archeia Aurora

February will be all about remembering our true identity as powerful spiritual beings. The collective will begin to awaken to the truth of who they really are and begin to heal themselves and release all the toxic belief systems and thoughts that have poisoned us. 

Humanity will begin to question who they are and why they are here; what is the greater purpose of this life. This will slowly bring in their memory of their true origin and their spiritual powers will be activated. This month will be the beginning of the great awakening, as we begin to learn what true love is and how to embody it. All belief systems are collapsing and false identities are crumbling. 

We are entering a period of true awakening, as all unconsciousness beings to become conscious. As our feeling centers turn on again and we feel ourselves as part of the whole, the Oneness energies. Compassion, empathy and intuition will prevail over logic and rational. We will learn to discern truth from lies and the veil will be fully dissolved. 

February 3rd~VENUS ENTERS CAPRICORN 

Venus moves out of fun loving Sagittarius into hard working Capricorn on February 3rd. During her transit of Sagittarius, Venus explored what it means to experience love through adventure, truth seeking, and the higher perspective. Love is an experience and that is what we have been learning these past few weeks. It has no attachment to any person, place, or belief system, it simply an experience through living life to its fullest capacity. Venus in Sagittarius pushed the boundaries and looked beyond the mundane, it searched for the highest trust of who we are as love beings. More than anything, Venus us showed us that love is magical, it is beautiful, and it is pure joy. 

Venus in Capricorn carries a much different energy. If Sagittarius is the one staying at the party all night, Capricorn is the one leaving early so they can work in the morning. Venus here is going to teach us that love also requires self-discipline, responsibility, and reliability. Being love means we are dedicated and committed, and we follow through with our word and what we say we are going to do. Love is real and true, it is not flaky or flimsy. We may begin to see where we are not truly being love to others and not really loving ourselves. This requires discipline in order to become the masters we are. 

February, 4th~NEW MOON IN AQUARIUS 

The New Moon in Aquarius occurs on February 4th, while the Sun in Aquarius will be conjunct the Moon. Aquarius is an interesting and unique energy, as he has no problem stepping outside the box, questioning, and and being innovative. Aquarius can also be quite detached, as he tends to see the world through an objective lense, always learning and observing but lacking in feeling. In its highest aspect though, Aquarius cares deeply about the collective as a whole and seeks ideas and ways to serve the greater whole rather than itself or any individual. 

The New Moon in Aquarius is starting on a new path of collective energies. We can no longer operate or function from the “me” perspective. It is about the “we” now. WE, as humanity, as the collective have to come together to create the new paradigm, New Earth. This is a co-creation of the greatest magnitude and it requires humanity to begin questioning the illusion around them and not being afraid to go against the norm. Step outside of your box and into limitless thought and possibilities. This is true multidimensiality. 

  February 10th~MERCURY ENTERS PISCES

Mercury has been transiting Aquarius for the past few weeks and has opened up our perspective to infinite possibilities and creative insight. We became more unattached to ideas and information as we realized all is simply awareness, it is not concrete. Our visions of the future became crystal clear as we wake up to the realization that we can no longer live the way we have for eons of time. We are evolving and changing and this must be surrendered to. 

Now Mercury moves into dreamy Pisces and takes us to the next level of imagination. Pisces is the last sign between the physical and the spiritual realm. Pisces takes us beyond the veil into the miraculous world beyond us. Pisces represents our dreams, our emotions, our intuition and our spirituality. We move into oneness and transcend separation. 

This transit will inspire us to connect with the truth that we are all One. That there are infinite worlds beyond the one we see in front of us. Our spiritual gifts and connections will come more online and we will seek to connect compassionately and intuitively with the world around us. We leave behind the left brained logic and rational and exchange it for imagination and empathy. 

  February 14th~MARS ENTERS TAURUS

Mars, the warrior planet of action and will is leaving its home sign of Aries and moving into Taurus. While in Aries, our passion and our motivation were at an all time high and we sought to power through life’s challenges. We learned to transform our anger into passion and our self-will into divine will. We left behind the programmings of competition and power over. 

With Mars moving into Taurus, we slow down a bit, realizing that all good things take patience, which Aries lacks. We are getting more in tune with our physical bodies and exploring and appreciating the physical experience. We are blessed to be able to experience other souls within these physical bodies, to experience touch, taste, and smell. In the etheric realm, they do not experience such things, as all exists as energy rather than matter. 

Take moments to share gratitude for being able to hug someone who you love, who is part of your soul family. To feel the physical experience of love. To taste wonderful foods that only exist in this dimension. To smell things which invoke powerful emotions and memories. We are anchoring in the etheric into the physical and must appreciate the beauty of this blend. 

  February 18th ~SUN ENTERS PISCES

The Sun leaves behind quirky Aquarius on February 18th, and enters mystical Pisces. Our focus will shift from ideas, knowledge, and insights to pure consciousness, spirituality, and compassion. We now have anchored in our divine thoughts and the capabilities we truly have as angel humans, but now we must remember our spiritual gifts and our heart centered connections. We are spiritual beings having a human experience, not the other way around.

We cannot transition into the new paradigm until we acknowledge our spiritual powers and how connected we are to everyone and everything. We cannot exist in unity until we accept that we are ONE. Pisces understands this deeply and has such empathy towards others. Soul connections will be coming online now as we begin to gather with our soul families for the final countdown of this ascension.

  February 18th~CHIRON ENTERS ARIES

Chiron has been busy the past year, as the wounded healer finished up his 8 year tour through mystical Pisces and moved into Aries last year. He then went retrograde later in the year back into Pisces to wrap up the healing of our deep spiritual wounds such as separation, unworthiness, and fear of God. This was the final cleansing of these ancient wounds humanity has held for thousands of years. 

Now, Chiron moves back into Aries where we will begin to heal wounds around our identity and who we are. Humanity has been lost in the illusion feeling like they are simply these 3D humans in these meat suits, living out a menial existence. They have lost their sense of purpose and true sense of self. These wound will becoming to the surface now as the collective begins to question, “who am I?”, “why am I here?”. We begin to heal the wounds of illusion that has kept us small and in amnesia and our true divinity. 

  February 19th~FULL MOON IN VIRGO 

On February 19th we will have a Full Moon in Virgo at 0 degrees. This Moon will be opposite the Sun in Pisces, as we learn to blend spirituality with practicalness, intuition with research, and compassion with discernment. We are becoming whole beings of truth and feeling. This is the 4th full moon at 0 degrees and we are now birthing ourselves into purity of thought, spirit, and body. We are learning to forgive ourselves (Pisces) and release self-criticism (Virgo).

Mars will be conjunct Uranus in Taurus causing sudden change within our planet and how we deal with resources. Humanity is no longer allowed to take and pillage from Mother Earth. Mercury in Pisces will be conjunct Neptune in Pisces, bringing our spiritual gifts full online through out divine connection. Finally, Venus in Capricorn will conjunct Saturn in Capricorn bringing earthiness to our relationships and our expression of love. We may feel some restriction within our ability to express our love, however, once we learn to truly love ourselves first we can begin to organically express it. 

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[lombax-lombardi]

Distant Past~

Summary: A visit to a Tower. Past memories make themselves known, at least the ones she is willing to divulge.

Character: Direheart.

“Ah...I have been waiting for you for some time now” the drone of the old wizard sounded inside the small room as he noticed the spirit phased through his walls with no issues.

“How long?” she asked with raised brow, which earned a chuckle from the wizard. He motioned for her to sit in front of him, the spirit did so.

“...I sense you’ve had a heated argument with a friend of yours....” The old wizard rand a hand through his heard, the spirit noticed the heads of the Three Fairies peering around an open door.

“Master Yen Sid I-” he raised a hand, she instantly silenced herself.

“The power of your ruby is a mystery in itself my dear, I know only some things about it. As you are already aware it allows you to connect to others across worlds, dimensions even” he said, eyes ever focused on the transparent woman before him.

“However, when your heart left this world, in most cases a Heartless and Nobody is born. You in an essence fill in the Nobody role” Direheart slowly nods. This she knew so why was the old man telling  her things she already knew?

“.....You gave birth to a Heartless my dear...and you’ve been keeping her existence a secret haven’t you?”

The spirit shakes her head. “Heartless? You are kidding right? And even if I knew about her I would tell someone about it!!!”

He raised his hand again. “I am aware. This...Heartless of yours, much like the Heartless of Ansem, the one posing as the man, can maintain a human form” The wizard speaks, allowing Direheart to come to grips with the fact that she may have added to the problem.

“Her whereabouts are unknown at this point. Perhaps she is waiting for the time to strike, however there is something you must know. Her human form is a facade, her true nature is the same as the other Heartless”

Direheart sighs. “Great.....”

“As for the Nobody role, most Nobodies have no memories of who they once were but you do. It is the ruby, which acts like a ‘heart’ for you. It allows you to see into the minds of others, allows you entrance into their dreams, see what people wish most” He pauses, noticing the spirit becoming more distressed.

“...I am assuming that is how you managed to locate Kairi when she was missing and get help...”

Cloudy blue eyes lifted upwards.

Direheart remembers that moment well.

The room around them slowly started shifting into something else.

Walls of white.

Cells.

A girl with blonde hair, dressed in white turned her attention to the space behind her. “Who are you?” she asked the floating spirit. 

“Let’s just say I’m a friend. There is a girl in this castle, red hair and dressed in pink. You need to find her and take her away from here...”

Shadows in the floor rose to reveal Husks and other forms of Nobodies closing in on the pair. “How do you-?”

“I know Sora. Please just get the girl and yourself out of here. Now” With a motion of her arm, tendrils of blue light cut through the Nobodies like scissors through ribbon, allowing the blonde to escape to do her part.

More and more Nobodies started to appear as if from thin air, the spirit managed to hold them off when she sensed a presence. The sound of wind rushing startled her to the presence of a claymore heading straight for her, she moved slightly to the right, allowing the weapon to lodged itself into a wall.

Her eyes narrowed at the presence, a figure in a black robe with blue hair and a scar in the form of an x on his face. “Hmph. Another rat slips through the cracks.”

“I know you. Where is Sora and the others?”

“You are with them? More is the pity.”

“I have no time for games Nobody. You either tell me or I shall erase you from existence myself”

“I could say the same for you” the one in the black robe said with a scoff, the spirit smirked. “Unlike you, if I fall I come straight back. Unless you’d rather die to a Keyblade then I suggest you leave me be”

Silence.

“...Now I see what Xemnas was talking about. Fine.” In a swirl of darkness, he left her with those words, anger building up inside her. Alongside sadness.

Xemnas

The final remnants of one she cared for, before his possession. She wondered...if a Nobody can truly remember someone from their previous life, even if one is still duelling for control of the body?

She shakes her head. He was the enemy now and any hope that...he...remained.....

With a sigh she returned to her search.

........

“.....You said I had a Heartless Master Yen Sid....if I did wouldn’t have Sora run into her by now?” The memory had faded, the familiar walls of the Tower greeted them.

The wizard closed his eyes briefly. “I cannot tell you were she is, but she is looking for you”

“Do you think she would team up with Vanitas? Harm Rii or the others in someway?”

She was met with silence. “I know how you feel about Vanitas. Rii knows things that even most don’t know about him, however you are unwilling to hear her out”

Direheart was about to retort when he once again rose his hand. She pursed her lips tightly, fingers gripping the fabric of her dress tightly.

“I understand as to why. Vanitas, while a small contributor in the matter, allowed Xehanort to take everything you cared about from you. You have survived a long time my dear, from the Keyblade War to now....As for your Heartless, she may or may not go to places that friends of yours inhabit....”

Direheart narrowed her eyes at the former Master. How can he say such nonsense when she witnessed everything first hand?

“Whatever your Heartless says, she is not to be trusted. Even if she says things you wish to hear, she is your opposite for a reason my dear. As for Rii, given time I know she will forgive you-”

“But time is something she may not have!”

“I know. She has lasted this long. She is a strong young woman, there is no need to doubt her”

She frowned some more, it was as if her whole face was plastered with displeasure. 

Cause it was.

“...you are hiding your memories from the others aren’t you?”

“A woman is allowed her privacy. What they don’t know won’t hurt them”

The wizard chuckled once more. “Still as defensive as ever. I need not keep you here longer. You will be ready to tell all soon enough”

Rising from her chair, she bowed before the former Master, phasing back through the wall slowly descending the tall tower, left alone with her thoughts.

Or so she thought when she swore she heard a voice call out to her.

But not by ‘Direheart’

Her true name. 

Turning her head, she saw a shining light before here, the voice, beckoning her like a siren’s call. She turned her head, looking around to see if it was not a trick. The voice was warm, familiar to her, it make her heart sing.

Well, the jewel that was acting as her heart sing.

Could it be?

Raising a hand toward the light she fell through.

.............

The boy with the mask lifted his head at the sound of footsteps behind him, a frown etched on his face. “Whaddya want?”

“Oh please boy settle down” that voice ticked him off. 

“Listen here ghost girl-” he froze when he saw who spoke to him. 

This woman looked like her, except her hair was raven black, eyes flaky gold and that godforsaken ruby was embedded on her forehead.

“Ghost Girl? Oh you mean my good half? Please I am nothing like her~” the grin she gave him made him uncomfortable, taking note of her facial features and choice of garb.

While the true Direheart wore a long flowing dress which made his eyes sore looking at it, this runt was wearing a garb familiar to him.

It’s what Direheart wore when she was still human, only this time if was befitting a Dark Half.

“I suggest you back off before you get seriously hurt” Vanitas was not having any of this, the grin she wore grew wider, showing her sharp teeth. She raised her hand as if to summon a Keyblade....

However instead of a Keyblade it was a literal scythe. “I don’t know if you know this but I am all the hate and bile when that stupid girl shoved her Keyblade into her chest. Hmph, she is weak. But I think I’m going to take my anger out on you Vanitas” 

He wasn’t scared, no of course not but this thing whatever she was, was dangerous. And he didn’t want her finding his guest, she could get hurt.

Hurt? Look at him! Worrying about something as insignificant as that dumb girl!

The female with gold eyes, sensing his slight hesitance groaned, rolling her eyes, dismissing her weapon. “Oh you are no fun. I can tell you aren’t in the mood to fight” she tapped her foot impatiently. “Listen here punk, you get in my way of finding Direheart...well let’s just say you’ll never find Ventus~”

The way she said that made his skin crawl.

Her whole face slowly started to shift, slightly, revealing the black creature underneath her human facade. “Because how can a Dark Half be WHOLE if they are dead huh?”

He pointed his Void Gear at her. “Get lost!”

“Fine I will. Just stay out of my way, loser” The creature melted into the ground like rain falling against the floor, slowly fading away as if she didn’t exist in the first place.

Vanitas lowered his blade. “........tch...”

...............

The group in Merlin’s house looked dumbfounded upon seeing someone...who looked human but clearly wasn’t, sitting in the middle of a broken table. “Ouch...Last time I use that...Oh!” The female stood up, dusting herself off.

“Hello my name is Seven and I am here to help protect your town!”

[dxullinkz-blog]

                                   Heba Mutou | YGO DM OC

Basics

Name (& pronunciation): Heba (H/Eh/Ba) Mutou. Date of Birth (& age): June 4th, 22. Place of Birth: Domino, Japan. Gender: Male. Species/Racial Origin: Human, Egyptian/Japanese. Social Class/Community Status: Middle Class. Languages: Hieroglyphics, Arabic, Japanese & English. Family/Friends/Pets/Etc: Yugi Mutou (twin), Solomon Mutou (Grandfather). Duel Links ID: 738-665-651

Physical Description

Height: 5” (153cm) Weight: 100 pounds (45kg) Hair: Tri-colored (purple, black, blonde) Eyes: Purple. Limb Dexterity: He's actually fairly decently strong. Detailed Physical Description: Pretty lean in build Heba has stacked on a bit more muscle from walking around Egypt and being in places he shouldn't. Being on the more adventurous side he has pretty decent leg muscle and upper arm strength. Though he is still shorter than the average male (something he detests). Typical Clothing/Equipment: Heba's preferred style of clothing is a black shirt and a pair of form fitting jeans. Though in Egypt he cuts it back to tank tops and cargo pants. If it does happen to get colder he wears a wool cardigan. Shoe wise will always be some form of boot.

Personality/Attributes 

Personality: Heba is a very short tempered person with the mouth of a sailor. Not a word leaves his tongue that isn't some sort of insult or swear word. He can flip on the switch of a dime, go from having a nice polite conversation to a fireball of anger at something that was said. He doesn't have a lick of patience and only typically tolerates people rather than try to form close bonds. That isn't to say he isn't capable of doing that, quite the opposite. Heba makes a much better ally than he does enemy, fiery loyal to the end and would give his life in a second if he thought it would protect someone that he cared about. Though he isn't an overly affectionate person he makes up for that in being bluntly honest and protective of friends and family. He'll never say something he doesn't mean and words of affection, when given out, are rare and few in between. Skills/Talents: Heba can hunt with a bow and arrow, figure out rather difficult puzzles easily and can read and translate Hieroglyphics. Favourites/Likes: Tea, studying and learning new things,  Black Luster Soldier. Most Hated/Dislikes: Anything that requires patience, disgracing ancient tombs, people who he believes has the brain cells of a fish. Goals/Ambitions: His current goal in life is a little difficult to figure out. He's changed his college major a few times bouncing between what he wants to do. So far all he can figure out is that he wants to attend college, just isn't quite sure for what. Strengths: Art (fairly good at sketching), archery, history, deciphering old books, physical exertion. Weaknesses: Math, making choices (good choices), temper, doctors/hospitals/medical professionals, slight drug addiction. Fears: Medical Professionals, relationships (romantic or platonic), his grandmother, actually being diagnosed as crazy. Hobbies/Interests: Heba likes arts and crafts but specifically sketching, Ancient Egypt and Egypt's history, Duel Links. Regular Routine: He gets up in the morning, logs into Duel Links to clean out the standard duelists and keys while having a cup of tea and toast. After he heads off to school for his general education (as he hasn't decided his major) for a few hours of class. About two his lectures will end and he'll swing by the museum for a little piece and quiet. Around four he'll end up back and home for another hour of Duel Links until he makes dinner. Homework is stuffed in between eating, random google searches for entertainment and then after the dishes he'll end up logging back into Duel Links until it's time for bed. Between all of this his alarm on his phone will go off every six hours to take his medication. Philosophy of Life: Fuck it. Attitude Toward Death: At one point he craved it now he simply acknowledges it'll come eventually. Religion/Beliefs: None. Fetishes/Strange Behaviors: If his medication runs off and he doesn't take it he'll end up talking a bit to himself or something else that only he can see. He'll also switch languages a lot more frequently and stare off into space. Most Instructive/Painful/Memorable Experience: Growing up with his grandmother was an entire painful experience. The woman was only ever verbally abusive but the amount of doctors she dragged him to left a horrible impact. Sexual Preference/Experience/Values: Bisexual/had sex a few time. Education/Special Training: High School Diploma, Archery training (hunting wise), in college. Place/Type of Residence: Apartment in Japan near his college. Occupation: None. Place of Work: - Work-related Skills: - Past Occupations: Librarian after school in Egypt.

Biography:

Heba was born to the Mutou family in Domino Japan. He had one twin brother that he never got to know. As far as he is aware he was raised in the house until he was one before a custody battle was fought between his grandmother (their fathers mother) and Heba's own. The Game Shop at that point didn't bring in much money and their mother was a bit flaky in staying home. An old man raising two kids on such a small salary, according to Child Protective Services, wasn't the best home situation for what was going on. As a result they decided the best case scenario for the children was to split them. Yugi would stay in Japan with Solomon and Heba would be raised by the grandmother Amara in Egypt.

Perhaps, in some way, she did have the best interest of the children at heart but that didn't in any means make her an over caring woman. She was hard in the way she raised him, showed affection only when need be and lectured him constantly on the proper way he should be. Any child would look at her like she was the devil drilling him like a soldier but it only ever got worse when he started to have his little slips.

He was eight the first time it happened, Heba could barely even remember it now, but he started to hear this voice. It sounded amazingly like his own and yet different at the same time, the language was certainly one he wasn't familiar with though the similarity to Arabic was undeniable. From what he thought he had sat there for a while, just listening to it, but when he blinked his way back into reality he found himself in a completely different room with his grandmother staring at him like he was some sort of monster.

One event out of several more that happened.

Sometimes he'd find himself dreaming, thinking a little two hard on what he saw in his head. He'd lose himself in whatever it was and when he'd finally come back around he'd found he'd done something he probably shouldn't have. His grandmother said he'd scream sometimes, shout words that didn't make sense, even break things and that last one would always end him in incredible trouble—Amara either making him work to pay for it or forbidding him from leaving his room for anything.

It was hard to imagine what other people saw, or even to believe them, since it was apparently his own body doing it. He couldn't deny the lapses in memory, the odd little 'visions' and 'voices' he heard. Doing it in public at school apparently seemed to be the breaking point for it all though. At that point he had turned ten, scared an entire room of elementary students and was sent home with a clear order to find some sort of help for himself.

The amount of doctors between ten and sixteen and they finally put him on an experimental drug was intense... enough to even drive a person insane which ended up being the 'diagnoses' they came up with.

The first few doctors put him up anti-psychotics, another drugged him with psychosis pills, there was some liquid things thrown in there that made his skin feel like it was boiling from underneath. Being poked, prodded and drugged so many times lead to a fear so intense that his grandmother needed to have someone sedate him before they could do anything. He was sure it was mostly because he had stabbed a nurse with her own needle when she tried to inject something into him.

Heba, at sixteen, ended up in a medical ward where they started him on this experimental drug that didn't even have a name. His bottle was a series of letters and numbers that made no sense to him but whatever it was they drugged him with seemed to work. For an entire year he didn't have a lapse in memory, didn't have an outburst (aside from his usual ones) and didn't hear or see things.

They declared him cured and released him.

The pill bottle's recommended dosage was one every six hours but it also said to take as needed. As he focused on finishing school online he slowly started to find he was either developing a tolerance toward it or whatever was wrong with him was getting worse. So he slowly started taking more, and more, until it was one almost every three hours.

He found if he took them in close proximity he got a bit woozy and light headed so he tried to make it low. He wasn't addicted to them, he just didn't want Black Luster Soldier talking to him from the corner of the room again.

Never once did he tell his grandmother any of this though and when he turned eighteen he decided to head 'home' or what the home on his birth certificate said he was. Heba had long since learned of Yugi's existence, his grandmothers favorite insult was “maybe I should have left you with Solomon”, it didn't take a genius to look them up.

Yugi was impressive from what he noticed, a Duel Masters god according to the internet, and most of all sane. That last part was the most interesting one for him, apparently between twins sanity wasn't biological. Though he was curious he never reached out, never made a point to contact, he figured if Yugi wanted to know about him all he had to do was look at his own birth certificate and see the little check that wasn't single.

That didn't stop him from attending a college in Japan, from moving to Domino. Though he told himself he didn't care that was apparently far from the truth. But he wouldn't approach because that made a burden.

His college degree between eighteen and twenty-two changed from Teaching to Archaeologist to Egyptian Historian, to art until he finally just settled on getting a general education until he could decide. His grandmother had money, she didn't care so long as he took his meds and was a good boy.