#finally beat my anxiety
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Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,
Anime:
GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)
VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!
Manga:
GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.
#dbtag#I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd#Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao#they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of#Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind'#and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life'#toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned'#and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit'#girl hWHAT#Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants#to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!!#Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies#They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted#He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok#He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be#because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that#Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt#+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow#realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??'#now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader.#and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat#you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play.#You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here#And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship#and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there#you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad#anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay#And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe
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Sunday six time yayyyyy! and... I actually have RGG stuff to share??? what is this???? I cooked for a second and I think I *finally* have the missing piece for a fic that's been in my WIP document for so long. Maybe I can edit it soon? Perhaps?
Anyway I got tagged by @four-white-trees @jichanxo and @phantasy14. Tagging the usual @mike----wazowski @passthroughtime @woundedheartwithin @fire-tempers-steel @skysquid22
âThereâs this person⊠Iâve known them for a long time. You see, Iâve only just realized how important they are to me,â he fidgets with a bracelet on his right hand, âIâm not sure if itâs love. Fuck, Iâm not sure what it is. But, I know I canât have a future without them. I have to abandon this way of life for that future to even exist. Itâs hard, and Iâm risking my life to do so, but I know I can do it, because I know what my purpose is now.â
He looks up at Yagami, and Yagami sees a hidden determination within them.
âAll I want to do is protect them.â
Yagami looks over his shoulder, and sees Kaito smile at Shinumi. A warm feeling envelops him as he darts his eyes to the ground.
âI think I understand,â he says in a low voice.
#sunday six#not gonna tag the chars/franchise rn since this is like. first draft BS#but! me when I can make parallels :miku:#also the âheâ is a fourth character that's a minor one in the fic but. yeah making that distinction here#the hope is that I can finish this fic and have it out by my annivesary of beating judgment (it's in...6 days?)#but considering i'm a bundle of anxiety rn (potential internship interview tomorrow that i'm keeping from my parents for multiple reasons.#most having to do with constantly hearing âhave you heard back yet???â 75 times a day. so. not telling them unless i'm accepted.)#and I get to finish abyss in like a few minutes yippee!!! IW soon!!!#but either way! hopefully the fic can get done. that'd be cool.#ok bye it's abyss time i'm gonna go kick [final boss name redacted] in the nuts
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Listen.
You can listen to it on the soundtrack, you can watch clips of it being performed live, hell, you can watch someone play that bit on a video...
But listening to Raphael's Final Act while you're actually fighting Raphael just hits. different.
That was probably the hypest shit I've ever felt, and I thought freeing the Nightsong was a chills moment.
#not even the unrelated anxiety attack I was having could keep me from smiling and bouncing in my seat#that said how the HELL do people do this shit without the unlimited party mod#i completely beefed it my first try#i honestly just got lucky with the saving throws on the second attempt#hey pro tip the way I beat him was just spamming hunger of hadar when i could while using other long term attacks#cloud of daggers my frenemy was also a huge help#dude just could not break out of either of those things it was epic#also larian studios guys please just play raphael's final act on loop during the fight rather than defaulting to normal battle music#i promise people won't get tired of it#fishgills speaks#fishgills plays bg3#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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everything is back on its normal course, i always get shift as the months turn colder from bingeing 2 restricting and more anxious and more paranoid due 2 that except this time i have the weight of knowing i Was Better anxiety-wise even just a little bit. i wonder why i feel so bad and then i remember i went from going to therapy every single week & then the connections program everyday n getting paid and being given Hope for a future to losing it all and going right back to being fully isolated irl
#as the focus changes my anxiety always gets worse this time of year#my sh always gets worse#i should feel comfortable in it#but that one little variable of the fact i WAS better is beating my ass#literally the only thing keeping me held up is my bf's existence#im too old i lost my coverage 2 be able to afford therapy weekly and then even the monthly one bc my mom decided to hate them#i lost speed in the job search#i dont remember anything they taught us or the confidence of being all together in that group n finally kinda fitting in#we were all fuckd up but it was fine they were helping us#but now its all gone its so far gone i can barely remember#and im back 2 being useless#and alone irl#ive been getting more n more dizzy too o(-<#i was just sitting n my exercise machine started moving w my breath like it was breathing too#my stomach n my chest hurt so bad too#i just want 2 sleep
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I am going on an adventure in the morning I am so excited less than 12 hours
#finally seeing my buddy for hella belated yule and christmas celebrations#i remembered allergy medication this time too because i love his cat but am so allergic!!#and as long as i dont whip my head around or like stand up really fast or run i am not even dizzy anymore thank frick#and so so much blessedly calmer. i didnt realize how hard my heart was beating over everything#and how much my more anxiety/ocd enduced thoughts were taking such a toll#im gonna take a bath and read! im going to be so relaxed and smell so nice and feel so warm and happy#then im gonna be a little shit in totk and use a whooolllleeee bunch of amiibos to get so much foods#and do hogwild on finding surprises
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NOOOOOOOO HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAA
#I was going through my WC 2010 tag as you do#and this is what I posted 3 (three) days before the WC final 2014 in the tags of a WC 2010 gif set#noooo you DON'T hahahahhahaha#the Netherlands??? they played in 2014??? I have no memory of this#'beating Argentina for the third time in a row would be too good to be true' it happened tho!! it happened!!!!#and it was too good to be true! but it is true and we got to live it!!!!!#oh my god.#update I scrolled further back and apparently I also refered to the 2010 win as the happiest day of my life on June 1 2014#so one month and 12 days before the actual happiest day of my life!!!!!!!!!!!!! incroyable#(well 'day' is a stretch)#(I didn't sleep for 24 hours felt sick to my stomach all day and experienced 120+ minutes of intense anxiety)#but ya know#what qualifies for happiness in football#football#wc 2010#wc 2014#personal#crying /gen
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I realized a little while ago that, thinking over my whole life, I don't think I've ever been the person to ask someone else if they want to hang out with me. Like... ever...? I've been to people's houses and they've been to mine, I've met up with people out and about, but the closest I've come to initiating those conversations has always been, like, putting an open call on facebook. And now I'm over thirty and the idea of even trying-- even with, like, my mom, or nearby irl friends who would clearly definitely be up for it-- makes me feel like throwing up
#fun to be in your thirties and making lots of brand new discoveries of things that have always been wrong with you#I mean thinking about it I MUST have invited other kids to spend the night SOME of the time when I was a literal child??#it can't ALL have been my two doors down best friend inviting herself because she was already at my house#SURELY I am the one who invited school friends over and not them asking me every time? surely...#but at least from middle school onward I just. I just! didn't see my friends outside of school other than for my birthday!!#I can HEAD UP a broad impersonal 'let's all get together' no problem! I can send birthday party invitations!#justin while I was having this crisis of realization: you were going to ask me to hang out that day in ann arbor? I just beat you to it#me-- haunted: justin. no. me posting that I was going to be at the art fair on facebook WAS me letting you know.#me: my ENTIRE plan beyond that was to maybe hopefully coincidentally run into you because you lived in the same city.#anyway I finally Realized this because I was thinking 'I should see if friend wants to hang out' and then was too terrified to try :'D#normal normal normal ohhh my god I am so so normal and good at being a human alive on earth with other humans#me just after high school missing my friends but the idea of asking A Person to hang out with Just Me is utterly terrifying:#hey Everyone who all wants to get together you know like as a group#I have Problems with solo meetups giving me anxiety anyway but at least they're POSSIBLE for me if the other person suggests it#to all of my beloved friends. sorry I'm a piece of shit it's not you there's just something wrong with me#about me
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Hi! How's it going? Just wanted to say I love you.
Aww, anon, you're so sweet, shucks (âĄËÍ êł ËÍ) Thank you, I love you too âĄâĄâĄ
Things are going pretty good for me, I just had a really relaxing winter break, got to do lots of reading and writing, and I'm feeling way more decompressed than I have in weeeeeks~
#of course my nose is now back to the grindstone but c'est la vie#we finally got some of our first snow of the season today! so that's awesome too i was giddy! this is crazy late for us to be getting it#some anxiety brain goblins to beat down with a stick but i've gotten a really big stick over the years#over all i'm pretty happy thanks for asking#bene speaks
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like matthew is just my guy u kno
#hes just a little iri man#can u believe ive had FIVE dreams abt him#beats out any other idol ive dreamt abt by 3 dreams JDKFKLDDL#man ive known abt for just over 3 monthsndkdmdld im insane#anxiety always enters my dreams tho and i was so stressed abt the final so it makes sense JDKDKD#iri.txt
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something something about how the rings not just symbolised Yuuri and Victor's bond and was not just an omamori for them something something Victor was the first person Yuuri wanted to hold on to and share his dreams with and depend on after fighting for so long ALONE something something the rings symbolising this exact same thing something something about how Yuuri's arc still is wonderful even when he didn't win the gold because he finally learnt to actually depend on people, share his dreams and aims with them and not fight alone which is something he struggles with for the whole show
#yuri on ice ///#I am not sure about how to intrepret the whole of yuuri's arc but that's purely because I've watched the show only once#It always felt a bit off to me when the whole winning gold was a bit rushed in the last episode#And of course you could blame that on the pacing and you could say that there was flaws in the writing/the writers got confused#I've seen multiple posts about it and while I personally disagree I do think it is a valid interpretation#But I want to work with what DID happen in canon so I can be at peace with the episode lol#I choose to intrepret his arc as being one where he learns to not beat himself up over his failures (In lack of a better way to phrase it)#His anxiety plays a huge factor in it too though#One could argue that maybe winning gold would've given him that final push in believing that he is in fact extraordinary and not just#A dime a dozen skater (and I think that would have been wonderful too!)#And yeah they could have made him win gold AND have him not retire! But I don't think what we got in canon is inherently bad writing#(I mean excluding the scoring which from what I hear was inaccurate? But it doesn't bother me because Idk anything about scoring lmao)#Or maybe it's because this is a lesson I personally am struggling to learn and accept - that regardless of whether you win or not you#can and should strive to be better and better without losing hope#also a bit related to this but to me the emotional climax in the finale was actually Yuuri's free skate and him breaking the record#It was what further cemented my#thoughts about Yuuri's arc being about him and his need to be satisfied with his skating regardless of winning or losing#also fyi the takes I talked about aren't inherently ones I came across lol I just was thinking of various counter points#The whole reason I am writing this si because I want to understand this whole thing myself gdishsjshdh so writing it down seems like a good#thing#n rambles#Also hopefully this post doesn't show up in tags djsbdjbdjd
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I had a bad work day yesterday and was in a horrendous mood so I went over to the dude I mentioned on here a couple weeks agoâs house so I wasnât alone until Berry got home and could make me feel better.
Can I just say how nice it is to have someone less than 8 minutes away thatâs almost always ready to see me, will tie/beat my stress away, will put me into a better headspace and keep me company?
After we played he made me RIDICULOUSLY yummy pancakes and deep fried Oreos while we talked. Then I came home to my girl who talked me through my work problems and made me feel better about them, rubbed my back, made me laugh, and was her magically adorable self that makes everything better.
Iâm just really appreciative of them right now.
#and yes I am shit posting my anxiety away#but anywho#itâs just really nice to finally have a friend near me#and a friend who will beat me nonetheless
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#yall I finally got some good fucking news#my grandmaâs been in the hospital and was doing very bad and like#we thought the end was near#she improved and got discharged#things still arenât great but itâs (hopefully) looking more like she has weeks or maybe even months rather than just a handful of days#sheâs almost 92 and has late stage Alzheimerâs and the flu is what put her in the hospital but she beat it#yesterday was very stressful#my parents/uncles were all being incredibly vague and my cousins were reaching out for info from me since Iâm the only local grandchild#trying to figure out if people several hours away need to drop everything and try to make it here to say goodbye while at work was uh#it was something#I had an emotional break down in the bathroom which was fun#my parents who normally use me as a punching bad were doing it to an even more extreme degree#they still are technically; I get itâs my dadâs mom and heâs hurting more but sheâs my grandma and like#the whole way theyâve been treating is just⊠it broke something in me#relieved sheâs okay for now but having to grapple with the fact that this is how they will treat me when it is her time is something#I am an frazzled emotional wreck from everything but sheâs okay and thatâs what matters in the end#I also had a video interview this afternoon which like#absolutely wild state of mind to be in to do an interview but itâs with a really good company so I didnât want to cancel#guys#I got a second in person interview!#it pays good and itâs close by and the only thing I donât like is that itâs second shift#but they said if I get the job Iâll eventually get the opportunity to switch to first shift so like#fingers crossed the next interview goes well#anyways all good news except for my parents being fucking assholes but#I am out of energy emotionally mentally and physically#was trying to keep myself together till the interview and now that itâs over Iâm just very done#my anxiety is shot my brainâs checked out and all I wanna do is sleep#I was supposed to be off tomorrow but work called me in and I took the shift cause I need money#I think there is a very good chance that I crash very hard after work tomorrow#which fine
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hi besties i just got back from the cardiologist and the good news is that i got answers and im not dying but the bad news is i have mitral valve prolapse and i am relieved and also still scared because it is a valve disease in my heart and it causes a bit of mitral regurgitation which is scary and i am being so brave about it
#camshitposts#camyellsOW#my heart also just skips a beat fairly regularly which is really fun and cool (no it is not)#add another fucking thing to the 'whats wrong with me' pile#but hey at least i finally have answers#ive known something was up with my heart since high school and this is the first doctor who has takent the time to figure it out#instead of giving me an EKG and telling me to go home beacuse i jsut have anxiety#this is the second cardiologist ive seen just this year#the first guy was a creepy old bastard. i told him i didnt want to know how much i weigh and he literally joked about ED#like i have a history of anorexia (currently remission) and he joked that I was going to go home and cry because he told me how much i weig#and joked that i would be depressed for weeks because he told me. so I never went back#my current doctor is wonderful and compassionate and let me ask questions and was respectful of me and my history#Dr H my beloved <3#i love being astounded by men doing the bare minimum <3#jk no shade @ Dr H he goes above and beyond and put up with me and my scared mother and our 104859485 questions#aaaaanywaaaayyy#thanks for coming to my ted talk i need to journal about this but i am avoiding it for the moment because im having a lot of big feelings#and this feels more like talkign to my friends than journaling#anyway im going to go read my book i think or try thinking more about my wriring bc i was thinking about it before i had to go to my appt#i think i have decided to add vampires to my story and i think it actually makes more sense now i think this was the piece i was missing#me: i added vampires#nobody: is surprised
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cherry (old! logan howlett x female reader)
character/universe: logan howlett/wolverine (x-men/marvel)
word count:Â 1.7k words
warning/s:Â full-on smut (minors, dni). loss of virginity and age gap
notes: i have a headache from swimming yesterday but still managed to finish this in a day (so it's not proofread). i have tons of requirements to do so i may do an occasional small imagine once in a while. anyways, enjoy!
You started dating Logan six months ago, and when the conversation about sex came up, you shamefully admitted that you're still a virgin. You didn't want to look like a little girl to the older man since you knew that he had dated and slept with numerous women in the past. When you let out those three words of truth, you expected him to break up with you. However, Logan smirked and remarked how he hadn't fucked a virgin for a long time.
So, it was a matter of waiting for you to lose your virginity to Logan.
You went to your close friends for sex advice. They weren't experienced with the topic but teased that you're going to fuck an old, attractive man. With a few good luck, you readied yourself for the day Logan will take your virginity. You didn't bother searching online since watching porn made you cringe. Additionally, the boys you dated were either clueless or too eager only fuck you. Logan wasn't like them; he cared and didn't date you because you were innocent and pretty.
One night, when you stayed at Logan's house, you decided to lose your virginity finally. You wore a white lace-trimmed tank top with black pajama shorts. You used the cherry lipgloss you bought for this occasion to make the night extra special. Logan donned the wifebeater tank top you loved. His salt-and-pepper hair and beard made him extra sexy, or maybe it was the age gap.
You two cuddled on the queen-sized bed you cleaned before this night. The softness of the pillows and the blankets didn't lessen your anxiety. With you touching his chest and Logan snaking his hand around your waist, you waited for the opportunity to bring up the conversation about sex again.
"Logan, honey? I have something to ask you," you whispered as you scratched his chin.
The older man hummed in agreement as he waited for your question.
Finding the right words, you blurted out, "Are you ready to have sex with me tonight?" With wide eyes and a beating heart, you hoped Logan wouldn't notice your nervousness.
He chuckled and kissed your cheek. Logan remarked, "I'm ready when you are, princess."
Your gaze softened as Logan agreed to have sex with you. However, it dawned on you that you didn't know how to start. Were you supposed to pleasure Logan first, or is he the one who should do it first? Should you take off your clothes when does it too? Who goes first? Who comes second? Your mind raced with the inexperience you didn't bother to fix.
"What's the matter, [Y/N]?" Logan noticed that you weren't taking action. You didn't want to admit you didn't know what to do. What if Logan wasn't attracted to your inexperience? What if he hated how awkward you are at initiating sex?
You took a deep breath before admitting to Logan, "I'm n-not too s-s-sure what to do, Logan. I tried to, you know, do my research about sex. S-so I'm sorry if I seem to be aw-"
Logan cut you off before finishing to tell him the truth. He sat up and rested on the headboard. The older man commanded you to take a seat on his lap. You quickly followed and rested your head on his chest. The beat of his heart assured you that Logan would be understanding about your anxiety about sex.
"It's okay, [Y/N]. You don't have to worry about having sex for the first time. I'm here to guide you. Remember when I told you how I hadn't fucked a virgin for a long time? I want your first time to be special, [Y/N]," Logan softly whispered as he caressed your back to relieve you.
You giggled and raised your head to kiss his neck gently. Logan chuckled at your sudden, playful attitude after assuring you everything would be okay. You pushed up your chest against his, and the older man seethed as he saw your breasts.
"Look at you now. You're now teasing me with your boobs. I thought you were nervous," Logan chuckled as he massaged your butt. You gave him a beck before replying, "Maybe you cast a spell on me, honey. I got a bit fired up with that sweet talk you did."
Logan lifted your chin and saw your glossy eyes accompanied by the cherry lipgloss. Your innocence, mixed with playfulness and the cute face and outfit you had, made Logan's heart race. He couldn't believe that you trusted him to be your first time. His rough, veiny hands caress your shoulder as he toys with the thin strap of your top. Your breath hitched up at the older man's soft and sensual action. You touched his chest to support yourself and felt your pussy wanting to be touched.
You slowly rubbed your clothed vagina on his black denim jeans as Logan went under your top to grope your breasts. You let out a shaky moan as you chased your high. Logan smirked as he saw your face contorting at the newfound pleasure.
"Let me do something, princess. Lay down for me," Logan grabbed your thighs, leading you to stop rubbing your pussy against his jeans. You were unsatisfied that he prevented you from chasing your climax. However, you were equally excited about what he would do next. You lay down on the bed as Logan told you and waited for his following action.
Logan kneeled at the end of the bed and asked, "May I take off your shorts, princess?" His rough hands caress the softness of your covered thighs. You slowly nodded, not wanting to keep Logan waiting for your response. He chuckled and reassured you that he would always be patient with you. You felt Logan sliding off your black pajama shorts, and you lifted your legs for him to take it off easier. The older man sucked his teeth as the sight of your lacy pink panties appeared.
Your heart was beating fast since you were one undergarment away from exposing your pussy. Logan pushed the fabric to the side and smelled your arousal. Sweet. He slowly circled your clit and licked your pussy to taste you. Logan moaned as he ate you; he wanted to do it fast as he had never tasted a virgin pussy before. However, knowing this was your first time, he took it slow. Your eyes rolled back at the sensation of Logan's tongue pleasuring you. You grabbed the bedsheets and screamed his name.
As you felt your stomach twisting, Logan stopped and wiped his lips coated with your arousal. You curved your eyebrows in disappointment as Logan continued teasing you. You whined about how he should stop it and remarked that you wanted to orgasm badly. Logan grabbed the hem of your tank top, telling you to take them off. He fondled your breasts and kissed you.
Logan shushed you and whispered, "I'm only prepping you, princess. I'm now going to give you the real thing." He stood up and unbuckled his belt for his massive penis to escape. You gasped at the length of it. How is it going to fit you? You were both hungry and scared of the enormous cock staring at you.
"Don't worry, [Y/N]. I'll take it slow, and you tell me if I need to take it out. Got it, princess?" Logan stared at your lust-filled eyes, waiting for your approval. You whispered a soft yes as you braced yourself for his length to push in. Logan grabbed your hips as he slowly entered inside of you. Your eyes suddenly opened at the foreign sensation penetrating you.
You let out a few tears but remained strong as you didn't want to embarrass yourself by tapping out. Logan saw it and whispered, "[Y/N], are you okay? Do I need to take it out?"
You shook your head and responded, "I'm okay, Lo. I need to adjust a bit to your length." Logan heartily chuckled as he rested his head beside your neck. You hugged his back and waited for the pain to subside. Taking a deep breath, you let out a small moan, signaling Logan to pick up the pace.
Logan started to thrust slowly and made sure that you weren't crying because of the pain. He lifted himself and pounded you. You grabbed his chest as you felt the shape of his dick molding your pussy. You screamed his name and told him how good it felt. Logan saw your bouncing tits and squeezed them.
"Lo-Logan, please kiss me. P-please, I need you to kiss me," you panted as you grasped the sheets. Logan leaned in to passionately kiss you. He tasted the sweetness of cherry lipgloss and let his tongue in. You scratch his back as you feel your high coming.
"I'm a-about to-fuck. I'm cumming, Logan!" You screamed as the older man quickened his pace to reach his high, too. You cried out pleasure as you felt his dick growing inside of you.
Logan hungrily kissed your neck and groaned at the sensation of your tightness. He went wild as he sensed his orgasm chasing him. You grabbed his hair to brace yourself from the immense pleasure coming.
"Let go, princess. Fuck, I'm close too. Come on, princess. Cum for me," Logan moaned as he quickly pounded for the two of you to release. You felt a wave of pleasure crashing over you as Logan did one effective thrust. You screamed out his name as your legs went numb at the pleasure.
Logan stayed inside of you as he released his cum inside of you. He pulled out to see the sheets stained with blood and your once-virgin pussy leaking with his cum. The older man kissed your forehead and grabbed a towel at your dresser to clean you up.
"How was it, princess? Was it good?" Logan asked as he gently wiped your thighs. You sat and rested your head on the board to look at him better.
You giggled and replied, "That was the best, Logan. I couldn't have asked for anything better." He softly grinned and leaned in to give you a soft, deep kiss. Logan savored the sweet taste of the cherry lipgloss. You hummed as he continued kissing you. And as the night became darker, the two of you slept soundly as the imprint of your gloss and virginity marked Logan and his warm cum filling you.
eudaimaniacs - 2024
#hugh jackman#hugh jackman x reader#hugh jackman smut#hugh jackman imagine#hugh jackman x you#hugh jackman headcanons#hugh jackman fluff#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett smut#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett x you#wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine smut#x-men#x-men smut#x-men imagine#xmen#xmen smut#xmen imagine#old man logan#old man logan smut
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guess whoâs finally gonna really try so super hard to learn how to drive :)
#I have my permit for the 2nd time & I am DETERMINED this time man#First I had a learners permit in highschool at 17#I was in a god awful place mentally. A combination of suicidal ideation & intrusive thoughts about crashing kinda made me give up learning#Then I got a motorcycle permit to try and drive a motor scooter#But the safety course was like âhey btw most of the danger comes from cars not paying enough attention to you & you canât do shit about it!#So I got massive anxiety about it and could only drive on small back roads. + motorcycles feel So Much Faster which made the anxiety worse#I ended up letting that permit expire too#Now Iâm finally at a point where Iâm not super busy and have less car anxiety and WAAAAYYY less depression#My suicidal ideation is gone & my intrusive thoughts donât affect me nearly as much#And recently I got more free time for a little while so I studied for the class C permit test again & a couple days ago I passed :)#And today I drove a car for the first time in like 5 years & it was ok!#I have like 25 days till classes start & not really much of anything on the schedule until then#So Iâm gonna try my best to practice a decent amount this month & hopefully get a behind the wheels lesson in from a good instructor#And hopefully should be comfy enough to drive to & from school with my dad in the car#I have classes 4 days a week so thatâll be guaranteed practice on some bigger roads#Thereâs also a few ways to get there so I can start w the route thatâs 70% small road and work my way up to practice big roads & freeways#Trying my very hardest to beat the Canât Drive Gay accusations
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â THE WAY I LOVED YOU
pairing: theodore nott x reader
summary: in which theodore nott will do anything to get you to go out with him, but youâre just as stubborn rejecting him
warnings: swearing, kissing, dangerous stunts and theo being stupid (ryan gosling in the notebook style), unedited since i wrote this in the middle of the night on no sleep again lol. enemies to lovers if you squint a bit
authorâs note: since everyone loves theo iâll pretend this isnât just for my own selfish needs <3 (especially the notebook reference) also surprise surprise mc is a gryffindor as always, youâd never know i was a slytherin my bad guys⊠as always let me know what u think! enjoy, angels đ
The first time Theodore Nott asks you out, you spill a pot of ink directly into his lap.
Itâs not like you meant to do it. But when thereâs a Transfiguration worksheet to be getting on with, the Slytherin boy seated next to you by Professor McGonagall asking you out would surely take anyone by surprise.
The second you twist in your seat to look at him in shock, your arm slides the pot right off the desk and directly onto his grey trousers, instantly staining them with the black liquid before you have a chance to speak.
Your hands fly to your mouth to stifle your gasp and you look up at him, anticipating an angry glare in return. Instead, he looks mildly surprised at the ever-growing stain on his crotch, but mostly⊠amused?
âA simple ânoâ would have sufficed, darling,â he says, raising an eyebrow and suppressing a smile.
You begin stuttering out an apology and scrambling for your wand to wave away the stain before you can do something stupid like attempting to rub it off with your sleeve. Your cheeks instantly heat up at the humiliating image now plaguing your mind and you barely contain a sigh of relief when you realise the lesson has finished.
Itâs a miracle your shoes havenât left scuff marks on the ground in a cartoonish trail with the speed at which you leave the classroom. Godric knows why Theo Nott of all people wants to ask you out, but since it canât possibly be for any good reason, youâd rather not think about it too much. This, however, isnât helped by Hermione pestering you about why you look so flustered for the entire walk to the Charms classroom.
Twenty minutes later, her attention is finally diverted. On the other hand, itâs because sheâs berating you for accidentally burning the end of her left eyebrow off with a charm gone wrong.
The second time Theo asks you out, there are thankfully no ink pots around.
âHey,â he whispers from behind you, making you jump within an inch of your life despite his low volume. You swivel in your chair to glare at him, incredulous. Seeing that heâs startled you, Theo grins. âSorry. What are you doing?â
âBaking a cake,â you deadpan, once your heart has started beating at a normal pace again. Holding up your Potions book, you feel the annoyance start to seep in when Theo continues looking at you, undeterred. âWhat does it look like Iâm doing?â
Apparently unfazed by your sarcasm, he drags out the chair next to you and spins it around to sit on it backwards. Settling his arms on top of the backrest, Theo rests his chin on them to look at you. âYou never did answer my question.â
âI donât know what youâre talking about,â you mumble, eyes scanning the page in front of you but taking in nothing. âIf youâll excuse me, I have to study-â
âAre you going to make me ask you again?â he sighs. You panic a little at his bluntness and continue pretending to read, not knowing what else to do. Theo takes your silence as encouragement and shuffles his chair closer to your own. âGo out with me.â
The arrogance practically drips off his voice, and the pit of anxiety in your stomach immediately turns into irritation instead. âNo,â you grit out, slamming your potions book shut to scowl at him. âAnd I donât hear you asking anything.â
âOkay,â Theo says slowly, nodding as though he understands. Itâs clear that he doesnât though, because the next words out of his mouth have you stunned. âPlease, oh please, will you do me the absolute greatest honour of going out with me?â
âMerlin,â you exhale, pinching the bridge of your nose. Dropping your hands into your lap, you see no solution other than gathering your things to return to the common room. âYouâre having me onâŠâ
âI can assure you, Iâm not,â Theo says quickly, stopping you from leaving by gently grabbing your elbow. You stop in your movements to catch him looking more unsure than youâve ever seen, and youâve never been more perplexed. âIâm completely serious right now. Go out with me?â
âWh- I donât even-â you sigh, cutting your senseless muttering off to cross your arms over your textbook. âWhatever happened to a simple ânoâ sufficing, darling? Arenât there a million other girls for you to go and pester? Godric knows youâve got an entourage following you half the- What are you looking at?â
Amazingly, Theoâs expression has lost all trace of vulnerability and now displays a slightly faraway look, his signature lazy grin in full effect. âSorry, I didnât hear a word after you called me âdarlingâ.â
Resisting the urge to hit him over the head with your textbook, you take a deep breath and grasp the potential weapon tighter in your hands before speaking. âAs hard as it is for me to believe that girls actually fall for this rubbish, your history with them shows that they do. Donât think for a second, Iâm going to let you use me like they do.â
Theo considers your words for a few seconds, mulling them over as carefully as though heâs trying to solve a brain teaser. Eventually, he seems to come to a satisfying conclusion, because he tucks his hands into the pockets of his trousers and tilts his head. âSo you need me to prove Iâm serious about this⊠and then youâll say yes?â
âOh, for the love of-â Huffing, you turn on your heal without saying another word and storm out of the library. Theo doesnât follow you, allowing you to clear your head and think about the incredibly odd interaction.
Youâre climbing through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room when you realise you never actually refuted Theo and his theory to make you go out with him. Whether or not it was on purpose, you canât quite decide.
Over the next few weeks, you start wishing you had stopped Theo before he could start trying to prove himself to you.
You canât go a single day without the question of going out with him popping up. Much to your bewilderment, it isnât always him asking. Sometimes itâs his friends, sometimes itâs students at the Gryffindor table who are sick of the multiple owls every morning flocking to your table with a note in their beaks. Sometimes itâs even your friends.
âI mean, really,â Hermione says at breakfast, huffy as always when reprimanding someone. âItâd be benefiting everyone if you just went out with him. Why donât you, anyway?â
âHeâs a Slytherin,â Ron butts in, talking to Hermione as though heâs explaining something to a child. He takes a gigantic bite of his toast before speaking, his next words coming out muffled. âSurely thatâs reason enough.â
âNo, that isnât reason enough,â Hermione says sternly, furrowing her brows. âA good reason would have been all the girls heâs always with. Of course, thatâs flown out the window recently. Heâs also never given them as much attention now that I think about it.â
âHeâs definitely not the worst of the group either,â Harry adds, leaning in as nosily as Ron. âNot like weâre talking about MalfoyâŠâ
âDonât you two have Quidditch tactics to be discussing?â you snap, exhausted by the subject already. The two boys hold up their hands in surrender, before shuffling down the bench. Whether thatâs to be closer to the Quidditch team, or to get away from you before you start throwing hexes - you arenât certain.
The fact youâre awake early in the morning on a Saturday isnât helping your sour mood, and the Quidditch match being between Gryffindor and Slytherin only adds to this.
âWeâd better go and get a good seat at the front, so we arenât on our tiptoes for the whole game like last time,â Hermione says, already sliding off the bench. You give your cup of coffee one last longing look before you allow yourself to be dragged away.
You havenât even made it onto the Quidditch pitch before youâre already wishing for that cup of coffee to give you strength, because you find none other than Theo standing outside the Great Hall in his green and silver Quidditch robes.
As soon as he spots you, Theo plasters on that charming smile of his and opens his mouth, no doubt to ask you if you could talk privately.
Hermione interjects before he gets the chance. âDonât bother, Iâm leaving.â She simply sighs when you look at her, betrayed. âHeâd have convinced you anyway! Iâll save you a seat.â
You watch her leave, helplessly before turning to Theo and crossing your arms. âYes?â
âI have a proposition for you,â he says simply, getting to the point. The proposition has, without a doubt, got something to do with you and him and a trip to Hogsmeade, but you gesture for him to continue nonetheless. You canât deny itâs been entertaining watching Theo come up with new ways to ask you out these past few weeks. âIâll throw the match and let your lot win if you go out with me.â
This startles a laugh out of you, something between a chortle and a gasp. âOh, you cheeky bastard,â you exclaim, but you canât help grinning. That was quite possibly the last thing you expected him to say. âFirst of all, I think my lot is perfectly capable of winning on their own. And secondly⊠as funny as it would be, Iâd rather not have your death and Malfoyâs subsequent imprisonment in Azkaban be on my conscience.â
You only realise just how wide your smile is when it starts to fade under Theoâs unwavering gaze. His lips twitch up into a smile and you immediately frown as an automatic response. âWhy are you looking at me like that?â
âYouâre bantering with me,â Theo says, grinning as though heâs extremely pleased with himself. You realise with a jolt, that yes you were bantering. âOne step closer to agreeing to go out with me.â
âThatâs not happening,â you protest, but it sounds fairly weak, even to you. âLike I keep telling you, Iâm not going to be one of those girls.â
Theo shrugs. âAnd I think you already know youâre not one of those girls. Itâs fine, I can wait.â
The relaxed manner in which he says this has you flabbergasted to say the least. Truthfully, you arenât completely sure why you havenât just agreed at this point. No one in the whole school is used to witnessing such extravagant displays from Theodore Nott, so youâve accepted the fact youâre an outlier in this particular subject area. Youâre starting to think Hermioneâs right, and itâs pure stubbornness thatâs keeping you going.
âYouâll be waiting a long time then,â you say, giving Theo a bland smile.
âNah,â is all he says, the smile still gracing his unperturbed face. âKeep an eye out for me in the Quidditch stands.â
Theo winks at you before walking away in the direction of the pitch and you linger in the castle for a good few minutes before snapping out of it and walking in the same direction.
You find Hermione quickly at the front of the Gryffindor stand and youâre about to ask how long until the game starts when Lee Jordanâs voice begins to boom from the commentator stand.
âStrong start for Gryffindor with Katie Bell taking the Quaffle and- nope, Vaiseyâs taken it and passed it onto Urquhart, his fellow Chaser and the new Slytherin captain.â Youâre thankful for Leeâs commentary as itâs easy to follow and you probably wouldnât have a clue if it werenât for him. Surprisingly, he keeps it professional enough for a while. âGinny Weasley tries to take the Quaffle after a near hit there to Urquhart, thanks to new Gryffindor Beater Jimmy Peakes and that very solid Bludger over there. Unfortunately, he missed-â
âJORDAN.â
âSorry, Professor McGonagall, I meant fortunately. Slytherin Chaser Mattheo Riddle now has the Quaffle and seems to be aiming to score and- oops! Heâs missed, thanks to Gryffindor Keeper Ron Weasley. Good on you, Weasley,â Lee says, unable to be impartial as shown by McGonagallâs glare. âAs for the Slytherin Keeper, Nott seems to be distracted by something in the Gryffindor stands. Or should I say someone.â
Laughter echoes in every stand, much to your utter humiliation and some people even start whooping and cheering in your direction. Theoâs antics are common knowledge at this point, but it doesnât make the laughter any less embarrassing. You try and maintain a shred of dignity by standing still and glaring as hard as you can at Theo. Horrifyingly, he starts to fly in your direction.
Lee looks at McGonagall before speaking, but she merely shrugs helplessly, looking flustered herself. âEr, well it seems Slytherin are open for Gryffindor to score. No one seems to be taking advantage, however, as I think I can speak for everyone when I say we want to know whatâs going on with Nott and Y/N.â
Glancing at the others, you realise Lee is right and all the players are hovering in place, making no move to continue the game. They look partly confused, but mostly nosy.
Theo stops just outside the Gryffindor stand, his attention focused wholly on you. You raise both eyebrows in question, waiting for him to speak. âGo out with me.â
âUnfortunately, I canât quite hear what Nott is saying, but I think we can all guess heâs asking her out again,â Lee says, causing a few more cheers and even a couple groans. âTake the hint, mate.â
âTheo, get back to the game!â you hiss, wrapping your arms around you as if itâll shield you from everyoneâs eyes. âYouâre embarrassing m- What the fuck are you doing!â
Theo swings a leg over the side of his broomstick so that heâs sitting completely facing you, legs dangling dangerously off one side. Lee sits up a little in his booth and McGonagall looks positively horrified. âFor unknown reasons, Nott is balancing precariously in a position no Quidditch player wants to- Merlin, heâs hanging off his broomstick!â
Everyone in the crowd screams and shouts when Theo slips off his broomstick, but they quieten down and watch with fright when they see heâs still holding on with both hands. You think youâre going to faint.
âTheo,â you plead, with the same voice youâd use to coax a bloody kitten out of a tree. âGet back on your broomstick. Please.â
âOnly if you go out with me,â Theo says, eyes determined despite breathing a little heavier. The broomstick is thin and despite his strength, itâd be hard for anyone to maintain a grip for long. âSay youâll go out with me and Iâll get back on.â
âJust say it!â Hermione grabs you by the shoulder to shake you.
Professor McGonagall seems to have shaken out of her previous daze and begins scrambling around for her wand while Lee narrows his eyes to better assess the situation. âGodric, Y/N. Just say âyesâ and end everyoneâs misery already.â
âButâŠâ you trail off, hands shaking as you keep your eyes on Theoâs white knuckles still gripping the broom. âI donât want to encourage this stupid behaviour.â
Theo rolls his eyes as though he canât believe youâre still objecting. He shakes his head at you, though his chest is shaking with laughter. âGo out with me, and I swear Iâll never do anything stupid again. Fucking hell, Iâll quit Quidditch altogether if you want.â
You open your mouth to say something, youâre not sure what, but before you can get a word out, Seamus Finnigan pipes up from beside you. âPersonally, I say let him fall off the bloody thing.â
Tutting, you turn to Theo just to find the idiot raising an eyebrow challengingly. His left hand begins to loosen on the broomstick, deliberately.
âTheo, donât you dare.â
He drops his left hand completely and you scream, the noise drowned out by everyone elseâs yells.
âOKAY!â you yelp, heart in throat as you watch Theo dangling from his broomstick with one hand, clearly struggling. âOkay, Iâll go out with you, you stubborn idiot!â
The Gryffindors that hear you, begin to cheer, setting off the other houses and once McGonagall sees Theo begin to pull himself up on his broomstick, she visibly relaxes, slumping in her seat as she clutches her chest. Lee soon gets the message. âFinally, after a good month of watching Nott pine pathetically, Y/N has agreed to go out with the poor bast- Er, beggar. Sorry, Professor. By the way Nott, youâve got detention for a week.â
Now sitting normally on his broomstick, Theo grins at you like the cheeky bastard that he is, with elation clear as day on his face. You struggle to fight off your own grin and you can tell by his expression youâre not doing a very good job at it. âPull something like that again and Iâll push you off your broomstick myself,â you warn him, though it lacks any real threat. You were more worried than angry, and it definitely shows. âOkay?â
âNo more stupid behaviour,â Theo promises, sounding sincere as he nods, messy hair falling into his eyes. The wind blows it out of the way almost immediately and you find yourself wanting to do it with your fingers. âAfter this, though.â
You furrow your brows as Theo flies close enough to the Gryffindor stand to get off his broomstick and hop right into the crowd, landing next to you. Broomstick in hand, Theo doesnât take his eyes off you when he holds it out to Hermione. âIf you donât mind, Granger.â
Clearly baffled, Hermione gingerly takes the broomstick from him and watches the two of you, as enraptured as the rest of the school.
You face Theo properly, looking up at his eyes to see them glittering with pride and achievement. You tilt your head in question, wondering why he hasnât yet returned to the game.
Theo answers you by gripping your waist to pull you into a stupidly dramatic, dizzying, wonderful kiss. His lips are soft against your own and cold from the wind, but the shiver that runs down your spine has nothing to do with the temperature and everything to do with the way Theo is pressed against you.
You could go on forever, but the cheers and claps and hollering around you remind you that youâre surrounded by all your peers and, Godric, your teachers.
Pulling away, you clear your throat and attempt to gain back some of your dignity by keeping a serious face. Theo attempts nothing of the sort as heâs still wearing a silly grin. You try and avoid his eyes for the sake of your nerves and you mutter the first thing that comes to mind. âErm, good luck then. I hope you win.â
This is the wrong thing to say surrounded by your fellow Gryffindors as a few of them boo at you.
Theo rolls his eyes at the dramatics, while you simply scowl, pointedly at Seamus who seems to have booâed the loudest. Hermione is beaming at you when she hands Theo back his broomstick, though she also gives a little frown directed at Seamus.
Getting back on his broomstick, Theo hovers near you outside the stand. You lower your voice to a whisper that only he can hear. âI still hope you win.â
Theo shrugs, looking more relaxed than youâve ever seen him during a Quidditch game. âIâve already won, darling.â
© angelfic 2023.
#theodore nott x reader#theodore nott x you#theodore nott scenarios#theodore nott smut#theodore nott fluff#theodore nott imagines#theodore nott x y/n#theodore nott fanfiction#theodore nott
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