#but that one little variable of the fact i WAS better is beating my ass

[tamagotchikgs]

everything is back on its normal course, i always get shift as the months turn colder from bingeing 2 restricting and more anxious and more paranoid due 2 that except this time i have the weight of knowing i Was Better anxiety-wise even just a little bit. i wonder why i feel so bad and then i remember i went from going to therapy every single week & then the connections program everyday n getting paid and being given Hope for a future to losing it all and going right back to being fully isolated irl

[queenmuzz]

A Seed of Truth

A Fluffy Vergil x Reader One Shot

Life went on as usual in the peaceful island city of Fortuna.  Lord Sparda ruled with a benevolent hand over the people with his wife, Lady Eva, nurturing the arts and culture of the populace.  They were the perfect couple, each combining their strengths and abilities, to lead the island into a golden age.

And then there were their sons, the twins Vergil and Dante.  While the Lord and Lady were quite too busy to make regular appearances to the common folk, the Princes were not that restrained.  Prince Dante was regularly seen chatting at the market, buying up lots of strawberries, while slipping the kids little chocolates and candies when he thought their parents weren’t looking, before racing off on his custom built bike.

Prince Vergil, on the other hand, was a bit more reserved.  You’d seen him at your place of work, the library, deep in a book, or in the Fortuna Gardens, admiring the flowers, giving off an aura  that he didn’t want to be disturbed.  But when someone mustered up the courage to talk to him, he was kind and courteous, especially when the subject turned to his interests, such as literature, or gardening.  He was a man of few words, unlike his brother, but he never minced words, always preferring to speak the truth over flattering speech.

What both men had in common though, was they were both devilishly handsome.  With their father’s bone white hair, and their mother’s elegant facial features, the two men could look good in anything, whether it was formal outfits, as well their casual clothes (Usually a red leather motorcycle jacket for Dante, and a dark blue turtleneck for Vergil).  And with both of them single and available, there was a large part of the city gossiping on who they might choose to settle down with.

So it happened you were in the market with your friend, Sarah, one beautiful spring day when you heard the sound of trumpets, and the clanging of the City Herald’s bell, signaling an announcement.  The crowds began to converge to the centre of the piazzo.  Ripples of excitement fluttered rapidly as everyone realized that the herald was not alone.  There, standing behind the man were the twin Princes, both in their formal royal attire. Dante beamed like the cat that caught the canary, while Vergil...looked more like the canary that had been caught.  You almost felt bad at how uncomfortable he looked, surrounded by so many people, but if he was here despite how much he disliked crowds, this meant whatever was about to be announced was very important.

“HEAR YE! HEAR YE!” the herald announced, clanging his bell one last time, and the crowd was silenced.  Satisfied that he would not be interrupted, the herald continued.

“A ROYAL ANNOUNCEMENT!  PRINCE VERGIL HAS DECIDED IT IS TIME FOR HIM TO MARRY!” A gasp came from the crowd, then cheers, which Vergil did his best to ignore.  The herald rang his bell again.

“HE HAS DECIDED TO CHOOSE A LADY FROM AMONG THE YOUNG WOMEN OF THIS FAIR CITY!”  Another sharp gasp, but everyone was so flabbergasted, the herald didn’t have to settle them down.  “IN ORDER TO HELP HIM DECIDE, ANY YOUNG LADY WISHING TO PROVE HERSELF IS TO TAKE A TEST!”  Two servants carried a sheet covered wicker basket, placing it in front of the herald, and then they carefully removed the linen  “IN THIS BASKET, ARE SEEDS OF THE WHITE  CHRYTHANSEUM  FLOWER!  ALL…” the herald attempted to form a word that didn’t sound so awkward, but failed, “APPLICANTS ARE INSTRUCTED TO TAKE AND PLANT ONE PINCH OF SEEDS.  WHEN THE FALL MARKET FAIR ARRIVES, ALL LADIES ARE TO BRING THEIR PLANTS TO BE JUDGED, AND PRINCE VERGIL WILL PICK THE ONE WHO HAS GROWN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ONE!  A WOMAN WHO CAN GROW SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY, WILL PROVE THAT SHE HAS THE QUALITIES THE PRINCE LOOKS FOR!”

“That seems rather...shallow,” Sarah muttered as already, every young eligible woman pushed aside the crowds to make a beeline to the basket, “but who am I to judge?  Besides…” she grinned, “he’s pretty good looking.” “Yes, Prince Vergil is rather handsome,” you admitted.  

Sarah did a double-take, “Nah, I meant prince Dante, I wouldn’t mind if he bent me over his motorcycle and-”

“They’re twins! They’re virtually identical!”

“In looks, yeah...but personality, they’re night and day… and I prefer the day.” She looked at you expectedly, “Well, what are you waiting for?  Go get in line!” “I couldn’t…” you protested.

“Oh come on...it’ll be fiiine, you’re a pretty good gardener, I’ve seen the plants you keep in your rooftop garden, you’ll grow the best fricken’ chryth-  chrythan…”

“Chrysthanthemums,” you clarified…”You can call them ‘mums’, that’s what a lot of people do. And…” you stared at the ever growing line of women.  “Well, I suppose, worst case scenario, I’ll have a pretty flower for the autumn season”, and so, you went to the end of the line, ready to get your chance to spend your life with the handsome, aloof, but intelligent prince.  As you took your place, you heard Sarah murmur, “I hope Prince Dante has a motorcycle race as a contest….”

Eventually, you got to the front of the line, and were given a pinch of seeds.  You tried to keep your eyes averted from the two princes, as you wrapped them in a handkerchief, but you couldn’t help but glance up, to see the younger prince, still beaming, while his older brother stood stiffly, his brows furrowed, his arms crossed.

“This is a terrible idea, brother.”  You heard Vergil mutter.

“Nah, this,” Dante spread his arm out, “this is the perfect way to find the lady of your dreams.” “None of these women seem to possess the qualities I desire…” “Well, leave your pessimism until the fall...you can beat my ass if you don’t find what you’re looking for.”

*******

You got home, and quickly brought out a shallow glazed blue pot out from your shed. It would be the perfect starter pot for it to sprout, before you could transplant into a flower pot proper.  And then, you carefully poured a layer of sandy soil, before gently unwrapping the handkerchief and sprinkling the seeds onto the moist dirt.  There was something...off about the seeds...like they were too clean, but you paid it no mind.  These were most likely from the Fortuna Castle Gardens, so they were top quality, so even if you didn’t pay attention to the plant, you would most likely grow better than the average flower.  But you weren’t just going to neglect this chance of a lifetime.  

Measuring out precise amounts of fertilizer, and a bit of water, not too much, not too little, you were going to put your life and soul into this plant.  So much so, that the Prince would feel your love and care radiating out of each and every petal.

******* Ten days passed, with you constantly making sure that the soil wasn’t too moist, to discourage mildew, and keeping it under a fluorescent light, and yet no bright green sprouts poked out.  That was alright, the flower had a variable growing period, you had a nearly two week span for it to begin to sprout.  Every Morning, you had a routine.  You’d wake up, and while your breakfast toast browned, you’d check on the pot, giving it a sprinkle of water, and when needed, a dusting of fertilizer, before setting it back up to face the light.  And each night, you’d give it a final check, occasionally singing it a lullaby.  Yes, it was silly, but you couldn’t help but do everything to help it grow

But nearly a month later, still nothing.  You bit your knuckle as you paced your rooftop garden, the pot now being placed in the sunshine during the day, some netting to protect it from birds and rodents, trying to figure out why there hadn’t been any sprouts.  Perhaps the breed was a slow growing one, saving up energy for a robust bloom in the fall.  Yes, that would be the reason.  But, to ease your mind, you decided to check out with some of your acquaintances that had participated in the competition.  Nothing too intrusive, not spying, just to see how everything was going for them.

Your downstairs neighbor, a young woman who worked at the corner cafe, smiled when you asked how progress was going.  “It’s going wonderful!” she exclaimed, and quickly showed off her pot.  To your dismay, the healthy shoots spiked out two inches out of the soil, a good week and half of growth. “Yours must be twice this size!” your neighbor gushed, “you’re such a good person with all types of plants!  Do you mind showing me?” “I uh..” you scrambled to find an excuse, “I don’t want to disturb the growing plants more than necessary at this stage,” which was true, if your plant had a chance of growing healthy at this point, it couldn’t be put under any stress.

“Ah, understandable...well,” she looked back at her plant like a loving mother looking proudly at her baby, “May the best gardener win!” 

The door shut in your face, as you glumly went up the stairs to your apartment…

Yes, may the best gardener win…

*********

Summer came with a flash of heat, and even though your flowers hadn’t even so much peeked out of the soil, you continually did your routine of watering, fertilizing, and caring for the apparently lifeless pot.  You still had hope...you HAD to keep up hope.  One of those seeds had to be viable, just waiting to burst out like one of those prank snakes in a can….but nothing.

It didn’t help that everywhere you went, from your work at the library, to the market, all you could hear was women bragging about how healthy, how large, and how vibrant their budding plants were.  In fact, some of the ladies would go in public, either carrying their plants to show them off, with glossy green leaves, or if they were upper class, have a servant follow behind them, lugging the pot around, like a governess watching over their child.

Unfortunately, a new law had to be passed, after a half dozen women got into a full out brawl in the piazza, each fighting for the right to having the ‘best’ chrysanthemum, to ban the carrying of plants in the marketplace, except for the purposes of sale.  Thankfully, the only casualties of the savage fight was several pots and their unfortunate occupants….and the hopes and dreams of their owners.

And yet, seeing all these plants, hearing the boasts about how well they grew, just depressed you.  You had worked so, so hard… and nothing.  How could you show up with a pot of dirt, while surrounded by such wonderful specimens?  You might as well drop out of the contest, and save yourself the humiliation.

Two weeks before the Fall market fair was set to begin, Sarah came over to your house.  You hadn’t let anyone in, ashamed at your failure, terrified you’d be laughed out of town for not being able to raise a plant as hardy and simple to grow as a Chrysanthemum.  But...Sarah was different, she didn’t have a stake in the whole contest.

“How’s the Chryth- I mean the Mum growing business?” She innocently asked, unaware of your summer of troubles “it’s gotta be, like six feet tall, with your skills.  Prince Vergil’s gonna be knocked out of his royal pants when he sees yours, eh?”

It was time to break the truth, both to your friend… and yourself.  “I’m… I’m not going to the fair.”

It took Sarah a moment, while she blinked, once, twice...three times.  

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE NOT GOING?!”

You led her up to the rooftop, the sun of a late afternoon warming the nape of your neck, to show her the shallow blue pot, without a hint of green. “Nothing grew...I did everything I was supposed to, I watered, I fertilized, I made sure it wasn’t too cold or too hot...and still...nothing”  Even now, you tried to make sure the tears that dribbled down your cheeks didn’t splash into the soil, salt water would be bad for the seeds.  “I can’t go...can’t show everyone what a failure I was.  Everyone else will have beautiful flowers, and all I’ll have...is this.”

Sarah rubbed your shoulder in support, but her voice was firm.  “You should still bring it.  I know you, I know you put a heart and soul into raising those seeds, I can feel it.  Bring it to the fair, and if Prince Vergil can’t sense about how much love you shoved into every seed, then fuck him, he ain’t worth your time.”  She wiped your tears with a tissue, helping you calm down.  Perhaps she had a point. You had done everything you could, you couldn’t be blamed for neglect.  “Honestly, your mum is personally my favourite all this year.”

Perplexed, you looked at your friend.

“Everyone is growing these damn things. I think I’m gonna puke if I get another whiff of a mum.   Yours smells the nicest.”

At least, Sarah’s sense of humour lightened your spirits, if only a little.

*******

Sarah wasn’t wrong.  The overpowering smell of hundreds of white blooms blotted over the traditional scents of the autumn fair, such as apple pie or roast pork.  And instead of the the mooing and baaing of prizewinning cows and sheep, all you could hear were the titterings and gossip of the young women of the city, each bragging about how hard they worked to grow their flowers, how much love and care they’d placed into each glossy leaf, on how it was a certainty that they’d catch the Prince’s eye.

You tried to stay as inconspicuous as possible, and mostly you succeeded, as everyone was more focused on their own plant, or giving out disapproving looks at their nearby rival’s.  But every so often, a lady would look down confused at your pot, before giving a small pitying smile.  You could even tell your otherwise perfectly nice downstairs neighbor was secretly relieved that she didn’t have any competition from you.

The only one who paid attention to you, without judgement, was Sarah, who gave you an encouraging smile.

“After this, let’s go to the bar and get so plastered you forget this entire summer, my treat!” she chirped, and you couldn’t help but smile.  In truth, you really wanted to wipe this whole debacle out of your memory for the rest of your life.  Just a few more minutes to go….

The sound of the herald’s bell silenced the crowd, and all the contestants stood up a bit straighter, some checking both their dresses and plants one last time, ready to present their best.  Even you couldn’t help doing the same.

“HEAR YE! HEAR YE!”  The stiff man called out, ringing his bell one last time.  “THE JUDGMENT WILL NOW BEGIN,”  a group of finely dressed people, apparently the judges, stood up, but the Herald continued, “WITH BOTH PRINCE DANTE AND PRINCE VERGIL AS THE FINAL ARBITRATORS.”  Everyone, including yourself, did a collective gulp as the familiar colours of Crimson and Azure appeared on the platform.  Both men were dressed to perfection, their gold tasseled lapels shining in the fall sunlight, their black pants perfectly pressed.  But their looks on their faces seemed cold...almost upset.  Even the usually jovial smile on the younger twin was gone, replaced by a worried frown.  But that was nothing in comparison with Vergil’s face.  He looked...disgusted.  Surrounded by some of the most gorgeous flowers you had ever seen, and he yet, seemed to be repulsed by them all as his eyes scanned the crowd.  If these plants weren’t up to his high standards, your pot didn’t have a chance.

“I told you this was a terrible idea…” you heard him mutter, presumably to his brother, “Not a single woman has what I am looking for...the dishonesty of it all. When we get home, I don’t care how much mother protests, you will regret ever suggestin-” he stopped.  His eyes were fixed at one point, and everyone followed his line of sight…

that led to you and your little barren pot. 

Without warning, Prince Vergil quickly stepped down the wooden stairs, his footsteps steady but his frantic pace betraying something more.  Even now, as he approached, you thought that maybe he was looking at the lady beside you, a smaller than average plant, but one with many, many healthy white blooms.  That MUST be who he was interested in.  His face wasn’t as upset as before, but you couldn’t tell what his exact feelings were.  But as he got closer, now a few paces away, his eyes never left you, and you couldn’t help it, you averted your eyes, partially out of deference, partially out of fear.  Was he offended that you had dared bring this failure to be judged?  Your heart pounded so loud, you could barely make out the sound of his footsteps stopping before you, the only reason you could tell he was there, was his shiny black leather shoes halting in front of you.

“Your name?” he demanded, but not as harshly as you had feared.  You gave it out, your voice trembling.

“And this…” his long, elegant fingers grazed against the edge of the blue glaze, “is your attempt at growing a White Chrysanthemum?”  Strange, you’d expected him to be dismissive, but there was a sense of earnestness in the questition. You nodded, trying to get the words out.  “Y-yes, My Lord.  I did...I did everything I could...I watered, I fertilized, I gave the seeds all the sunlight it could ever need, but…” You couldn’t keep back the sob that burst from your throat, and tears dribbled down your cheeks.  You were so ashamed at your failure.

Unexpectedly, you felt warm fingers on your chin, gently lifting your face up, to finally look up at him.  You’d never been so close to the Prince before, and he was even more handsome up close.  And that hard expression that once there, was gone, replaced by something that confused you.  It looked like...admiration?  But for what?

“You were the only one, out of everyone here,” he spoke softly, for your ears alone, “who didn’t hide behind lies...you did all you could, and didn’t hide your supposed ‘failure.’” The way he emphasised that last word puzzled you and you gave him a quizzical look.  He smiled softly and pulled out a silk blue handkerchief to wipe your tears away.  

“Ladies and Gentleman!”  Dante strode up to front of the platform, temporarily ripping everyone’s attention from you and the Prince.  He had a grin that looked like he had been keeping it in for weeks, or even months. “I’d like to make a VERY IMPORTANT announcement.”  He took a breath, obviously savouring the moment.  “You see, when we gave out those seeds...well, before we brought them out...we boiled them, the entire batch.  Therefore…” he trailed off allowing the quicker members assembled to place the pieces together. “None of the seeds should be growing anything, you might as well used them for bug spray”  

Panicked gasps came from the women, each rapidly looking at each other, and then down at the pots they held.  A sound of shattering clay as several pots smashed from being dropped by some of the shocked ladies, who quickly ran for the exit of the fair, the crowds parting away for them.

Dante yanked the bell out of the Herald’s hand, and rang it, signalling everyone to settle down.  “See, what my dear brother wanted in a woman wasn’t a good gardener, although there’s nothing wrong with that.  Verg’s pretty handy at growing stuff…” his grin softened to genuine pride, “No, what he wanted was a woman who could be truthful to him, not try to flatter him with lies to soothe his pride and ego… And trust me, his ego is as big as it is....”

Vergil swung his head over to his younger brother, scowling momentarily, cutting the speech off.  But, slowly, he turned back to you, his fingers stroking the rapidly dry tear tracks on your cheeks.  “I..know this… whole turn of events is rather sudden and unexpected...but...will,” he struggled with the words, the first time you had ever seen him this nervous, “will you take me?”

Your eyes watered up with tears, but not out of grief, but of happiness.  You smiled, and nodded, not trusting your voice to say anything.  He almost seemed surprised at your assent, standing stock still  momentarily, before his smile blossomed fully as he took your hand and led you through the quickly parting crowds, as a large amount of cheers erupted in congratulations, celebrating Fortuna’s newest Princess.  

You felt a brush against your shoulder, and heard the voice of Sarah’s at your ear.  “I knew you could do it!” She was barely audible above the crowd, “Now...would Your Royal Highness mind putting a good word for me with Prince Dante?...”

Tagging    mandyvc  (won’t let me tag you for some reason)

[aks3raao1]

Me, to Luja: So tell me about yourself

Luja: No

Me: ...ma'am I need to write the story—

Luja: Good luck <3

[now that I do think of it, ALTERNATIVE's main duo that's established right at the beginning is literally a chiller but edgier Katsuki and way worse sUrViVe Nagito genderbends]

~~~~~~

Luja Sen, she/her

Anyways, Luja and Romila are friends from middle school (the story starts with the beginning of their high school at AoS (Academy of the Specialised) which was essentially founded by Nyx). Luja gains her Specialisation (Ferrokinesis: The Ability to bend metal) at the age of twelve, so she has it for a lesser time period than Romila.

Luja primarily wants to become a scientist. Her family is happy with that, because it's praised and everything, especially in our society.

She has a gifted child superiority complex. Being a gifted child + Specialised means that she hardly had many friends in school. Her family had tried to get her to socialize....which didn't go down too well.

She believes that most people are annoying because they waste too much time on useless things like gossiping and what not, which she never showed much interest in and doesn't like to be dragged into those nonsense.

She is friends with Romila since they do share the same taste in stuff and were the only Specialised ones in their class. And they kinda stuck together for most of middle school and went into high school.

She has a problem when it comes to seeing Romila since she tends to see her bad parts and is like, "It's a phase" considering that it's not necessarily affecting her. Romila doesn't get too cranky with her since she fascinates her, with her passion™ for science. Also because she isn't all self sacrifice UwU.

Luja cares for her own self above others (but tends to put Romila pretty close to that hierarchy, which is why she's one of the only two Romila trusts during the Mansion of Death (the other person is Kratanos)) however she also does want to keep what friends she has and is generally caring towards them.

She has a genuine love for science and loves to discover how things work and why, and her favourite facet is Physics. She does want to invent things and honestly just make stuff easier for the Specialised who face a LOT of issues, especially when it comes to amenities since the government is an ass about accomodations and they gained the Fundamental Rights like ten years or so ago in the ALTERNATIVE timeline. And they gain an additional right ("The body won't be harmed for science") when they graduate from school, after signing a contract that they dedicate themselves to helping the government when called upon. (The whole contract is stupid and basically oppresses them more especially the punishment for not abiding by it).

With her goal of becoming a scientist, she wants to use her talents to make accomodations specifically for them so that she could have done something.

The things she fears the most is failure. Failing as in being unable to accomplish her goals. She is afraid of it because it's an unknown variable that's constantly haunted her and she's working hard for it to never reach her.

I suppose there's a way for her to confront that fear during the Mid terms at AoS where she essentially "loses" in the practicals due to her......teamwork issues.

Everyone thinks of her as stuck up and isn't interested to listen to her much and since she views the others as annoying people with annoying habits, she tends to fail to regulate them, causing Romila to win instead (yes, it's THAT unfortunate of a situation) in their match, which causes her to review a LOT of things and she tries to see what caused her to lose after having a severe breakdown.

She develops an inferiority complex in respect to Romila and then spends a long time wondering where she went wrong.

Rena (who somehow clung to her) tries to cheer her up but gets turned back halfway, but she still stays on and Luja is like, "Wtf" until she sees Romila going entirely off the deep end (she presents an interesting contrast to how Koldin sees Romila as well, she sees Romila's behavior and considers it as a justification for her own self....she uses Romila to justify herself a lot (since if you asked Romila, Luja was more or less fine according to her since she wasn't being a doormat and stood up for herself) while Koldin sees Romila as the reason he should cling onto his own stuff) and realises that she could be on the path to destruction herself and accepts Rena's help and tries to be more open to others which leads to the Mid terms parallels in the Archenemy of Society arc where she "succeeds" instead and manages to get the class together enough to escape the situation.

However it doesn't mean that her fear of failure has entirely vanished into the blue, she just reviews the ways she can fail better now and works around it to avoid it and has more confidence in her own self. But she is still scared of failing and would love to avoid that more than anything. However she's chiller after that.

Her intelligence is more or less on par with both Romila and Kratanos, making them the three main strategists in the final battle against the bigots (which is basically a rerun of the Mansion of Death situation but way way worse and fucked up and has different leads to it).

....

The thing is that, no matter what I do, she winds up feeling like one dimensional/repetitive, which is something I am trying to amend about all the characters (I mean, I had to revamp a lot of characters so it will probably take me a long long time to actually get to writing.........sigh besides she stands up like a cardboard amongst people (I mean, you have Romila and Kratanos with extremely complicated storylines and then you have her. Just there))

So the main question is how to make her more interesting as a character and on par with the rest while still keeping her character flaws and personality?

I think the easiest way to go abt this is to view her as a sassy Bakugo. They have the main points in common. They're salty, don't like to socialise, feel inferior to a certain someone while still having some semblance of confidence and a terrible fear of failure

Now as much as I hate to compare your character to another one, it makes it a lot easier to have them become - as my English teacher would say - more. So I am sorry if this comes off as offensive-

For Bakugo, he became interesting by playing a big part in the mc's main story and we do get a few scenes where his vulnerability is shown. I assume it's the same with your character but...what rlly ties the knot for me when it comes to Katsuki is the fact that his problems...are more than just an inferiority/superiority complex. His whole thing stems from background especially (*cough* abusive mom *cough*) and the fact that he's not the main character (or rather that the story isn't being told in his perspective).

These facts make us over think and want more of him. The mystery draws us in which is why I think Luja's character is so perfect for someone in the background. She doesn't like to reveal things abt herself and is pretty dismissive to most things on top of that (plainly just salty). Her character rlly draws you in and the best way to portray those kinds of characters is through another character. Ofc, you'd have to get to their POV eventually but it's important to note that most of the details should come from someone else's POV (an observer, if you will) instead of info dumping and starting straight with hers. A character that's mysterious with a very simple yet relatable story attracts a LOT more attention and interest when seen from someone else's perspective than when you kickstart it from theirs.

Ofc, if u are planning (or already have) started the story from her POV, that would be a bit problematic in terms of interest. But not a train wreck. This is where my other point comes in. The point of making a character have more than one problem

Different ppl as well as characters have a main problem but also different ones, no matter what way you look at it. It seems that even you are confused with all ur character's ins and outs (dw, we've all been there... I am still there tbh) and a solution to that is backtracking a bit and looking at their life from the very beginning in HEAVY detail (like more than u already did). Think abt what other trauma could have been caused, what doubts and fears could have slowly crept it's way to her heart and head (I am a sucker for long-lasting doubts that develop over time) and anything you can even so much as GRASP on. If you look at it and see it as a possibility, try to fit that into her character and add it subtly in different places (as subtext or a creative pattern, wordplay, doesn't rlly matter as long as it's not openly stated bc, remember, the key thing to these types of characters is mystery).

For example, a fear of failure can stem into anxiety before the character has even lost smth later in their life. They probably get rlly anxious when evaluating smth but don't show it much or at all so no one notices. This adds even MORE to the character bc you can build it up after other events. Like once they have failed, they could probably get even more anxious and then develop a bad relationship with the person who beat them (double the points if it was a friend). You could build all that up and turn it super toxic instead of jumping right to the healing. It makes it more interesting, doesn't it? Plus, reevaluating almost everything including world views after 1 loss is...kind of hard to believe even with anxiety (no offense)

Adding a lot of little problems and thinking abt how Luja's behaviour can impact other characters helps a terrible lot if ur doing most of the story from her POV. Especially since she's probably the most relatable character (from what I've heard anyway). I have a certain saying... it goes like, "It's better to have a relatable and connecting character than one with a problem that is too big for normal people to fathom."

I like characters with heart-wrenching problems that I would never be able to relate to (take maybe Shigaraki as an example ig?) But my favourite are the ones that make me feel as tho I made a real connection

Also, I would like to say...if ur looking to progress her character even further, I would debate on whether it's the complete end to the novel or if there'll be a second part. If it's a second part, keep some of Luja's issues. Make her get better but not completely "YAY, I AM DONE BEING TORMENTED". If it's the end of the novel/series/etc., make it so that she's resolved most of most of her issues. They don't have to be completely gone but they have to be a lot better compared to how they started. And how i would work that out is a mind map but knowing ur a scatterbrain...lets talk it out where everything is all over the place

Luja's main thing is to gain confidence in herself and be finally ok with losing, right? If you ask me, that's a tough one but not impossible. I think to get her from point A to point B is to put up a bunch of events like:

Get her super anxious when doing smth

Lose to *insert person*

Have a breakdown and over think on what she could have done better (on the project or whatever she lost at)

Get even more anxious and totally mess up the next thing

Lose once again (double points if it's the same person as last time)

Overthinking abt how she's not good enough

F i g h t i n g f r i e n d s c o z d r a m a

"YoU'rE nEvEr GoNnA gEt BeTtEr If YoU kEeP tHiNkInG aBoUt YoUrSeLf"

Over think abt no. 8 bc out of options and ideas and ✨a n x i e t y✨

Try listening to others more and become b e t t e r

Win smth (bc creator forbid 3 losses in a row to start depression)

Lose again (there is gonna be a bit of back and forth but is necessary for development)

"I tHoUgHt I wAs FiNaLlY dOiNg SoMeThInG rIgHt AnD nOw LoOk"

"Losing is not th3 3nd of th3 fucking world, you lunatic"

"WELL, IT IS TO ME, BITCH"

*insert psychology somehow idk*

Another loss

"I'm angry...but I'm ok"

Note that idk where bullying would come in and these are only how I would think it to go-

A character like this isn't rlly my strong suit when it comes to them resolving their problems but they are fun to write and think abt-

................................did I just give you advice on how to traumatize? I-

[spirit-shroud]

i replayed kz again tonight and managed to beat it in 4 hrs instead of 11 !!! which is rly cool imo, i think i got a max of like 50 deaths or less for the full run ??? i was just playing regularly but usin the prism blade for the cool blood effects, not in speedrun mode for the counter, and i managed 2 drag my friend into hyperfixation hell with me :} but also i have some thoughts and opinions im not rly sure how to compile in a meaningful way, so here’s the like. pure brain-down-on-blog post version under the cut. if this gets auto-tagged into the real actual tag for this game im very sorry for my hubris im just. thinking emoji

so id like to start this with the final boss makes me SO sad :( like yeah she doesnt have much dialogue but idk she just makes me so sad. she’s so desperate and she Knows shes going to lose and im just like. no!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you’re so cool!!!!!!! Please Be My Friend We Can Work Together. I Know A Guy :c like usually final bosses are like weirdly emotional for me but she was just SO COOL and realizing like WAIT THIS BOSS OPERATES UNDER THE SAME RULES I DO was just like WOW even if as i kept dying (and i think i spent like... 3 hrs on the final boss alone lmao the first time, i killed her on my third attempt this run which was very cool of me) i finally realized that she IS pretty repetitive and got all her patterns n variables down super easy, but like, fighting another null who Should for all intents and purposes be just as absurd and powerful as i am, and eventually being able to down her effortlessly, and then the withdrawal affects of the chronos kicking in as well, and its just like. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

dont even get me STARTED on that ‘to be continued’ like yeah there’s a dlc comin but the game mentions repeatedly that its just the first act which has me like OKAY. SPECULATION TIME (what am i speculating on? literally no idea im not even rly at the speculation phase im still in the WOW COOL VIDEO GAME phase) 

and i rly like the dragon/fifteen but the first time i saw him i was just like. who’s this f*llmetal alchemist looking bitch ??? what’s he doin here?? go HOME and controlling him is AWFUL i hate the dragon tape so MUCH >:C but also he’s like. cool. i want to know more about him n his plot 2 take down Juncture n the government n whatever. 

but also i was listen 2 Full Confession bc it’s just. what the heart wants rn. i need to be sad and caffeinated in order to get into the Writing Zone rn and then i was THINKIN like my friend mentioned while we were playing the dragon tape that the song that plays is very similar to Full Confession (which i had sent him earlier while i was losing my mind over the final boss) and then i was like. Hm. these are very similar but have such wildly different moods -- Breath of the Serpent is much more like. ‘you’re going to be afraid of me’ while Full Confession is like ‘i’m afraid of you’ and i think that the different Vibes from these two soundtrack bits about important Null characters is just like. WOW and i wonder how a version of it that was purely Zero’s might be. would it be more triumphant? more flat? what desperation or emptiness is in there that could be drawn out by this melody??? i dont KNOW and i can’t write music unfortunately but im just like AAAAAAAAAA

i also rly wanna know what snow has going on ??? like. shes clearly important. she is a vital npc. but Why. she didnt even rly do anything except Show Up???

fuck V. all my homies hate V. the motorcycle fight was a lot of fun tho i rly liked that section even if my therapist was mad at me afterwards

also i think elizabeth/the little girl is rly cute and the fact zero was just like. ‘hm. well guess i have a daughter now’ so fast w/ her (at least, with the dialogue trees me n my pal kept going down) and im just. So Hoping we can rescue her in the dlc :( i miss her so much and im so like. worried abt that like pls give me back my daughter you dumbasses i cant even read ur dialogue without my brain being like ‘yeah these r just squiggly lines, boss. gl’ 

i also want to believe that the masked men arent real (bc idk, it’s just easier for me to process that they’re the result of chronos withdrawal) but the problem w/ that is like. they definitely kidnapped elizabeth, and i want so desperately to believe that elizabeth IS real n that zero genuinely wants to protect her (and by extension, the part of himself that is still human) 

ALSO THE PSYCHIATRIST i was just like. Okay. I Must Get A Good Grade In Therapy. n kept being nice n cooperative and helpful to this clown ass and then THAT ENDING ??? like i didnt even get the Bad Therapist Ending i was just like. fucka you! attacka you with a rock! (i do however want to try the therapist boss it sounds like a lot of fun) but i just. i hate him! he sucks! find a better therapist zero u rly need one im sorry for ur problems disorder :( like hes clearly a guy who just works for the government n wants 2 keep a leash on our man 

n the contradictions, hes like. yeah ur killing everyone related to chronos so it can no longer be produced ♥ but dw ur special we totally wont just withhold chronos from you as soon as u finish ur tasks dw about it ♥ and its like. Hm. I Dont Think Thats Right !!!! 

also i wanna learn more about what Juncture has going on??? what are they like. Doing besides poisoning water n making lighters ?????? it’s clearly a lot 

also the art for this game is just so GOOD,,, like. i didnt rly notice a lot of the backgrounds my first playthrough bc i was just losing my mind the whole time trying to solve each puzzle but the second playthrough im just like. AAAAA. and the soundtrack? effervescent. groundbreaking. perfect. So Good 

and the GAMEPLAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my GOD i was SO vibing with it, the difficulty curve was kinda extreme imo but as soon as i started like. Getting It? and started looking at each room less like combat/fighting and more like a puzzle that needed to be solved it made it so much easier 2 get into the headphase of ‘okay how do i clear this’ and it was just like. YOOOOOOOO

and zero is just a lot of fun 2 play as. legitimately everything about him is just so ridiculous. his dialogue options? ridiculous. his design? absurd. the implications that hes like. 22 and just having the worst 10 days of his life? mood, buddy. this guy likes samurai movies and card games and mushroom pizza and has worn the same outfit every single day for who knows how long and hes also a war veteran, an emotionless serial killer and a drug addict. and hes 22 and 5′10. literally NOTHING about those traits make sense together but here he is, just Vibing. 

i love him so much. im going to make a self insert oc that’s just giving him a friend who knows how to cook n is just like ‘oh wow, that’s rough buddy’ when hes like ‘i only feel alive when i kill people’ and conveniently knows how 2 get bloodstains out of things bc i think he needs that kind of person in his life since his like. therapist is conspiring against him n he keeps having 2 kill his friends 

also, unfortunately, i want to get every achievement, which i feel like is going to become hld....2!! where i get all but 1 of them and am stuck at 96% for 2+ years >:T

[laylacooke]

Hunters & Vampires & Wolves, Oh My! || Orion, Fran, & Layla

TIMING: The week before the full moon. PARTIES: @3starsquinn, @caraitaliadolcemeta, @laylacooke SUMMARY: A young hunter saves a dumb-dumb wolf from a crazed vampire. WARNINGS: mentions of blood and injuries 

It’s not like Layla had wanted to be the next meal for a vampire much stronger than she was, it just sort of happened. But while she was hauling ass through the forest, she couldn’t let go of the fact that, somehow, she didn’t change. At least not yet. Maybe it was because she was finally finding some sense of peace and a home. Maybe it was because her mind was currently focused on the woman with fangs bared chasing her at a ridiculous speed. Whatever it was, she was just glad to not be a huge smelly, dog. And as she glanced back to the vampire to see how far she was, it only took a split second for the red head to hit a tree followed by a hard thud to the ground. Dazed and groaning, Layla couldn’t seem to focus on anything at the moment except her heartbeat in her ears and the pain running through her body from the impact with the huge pine that had stopped her from getting any farther.

How did she reach that point was a good question. But there was no return now. With just the sweet thought of that blood washing down her throat, dripping from the corners of her mind - Francesca was going completely mental, about to enter that often state of frenzy she just couldn’t get off whenever she tasted blood. It’s not that she was inexperienced still, it’s just that she enjoyed it too bloody much. She allowed the little wolf to take her chance. Hell, she even stayed behind for a while, counting the each second in her mind before she actually began to chase her down. Just keeping up with her, not really making any extreme effort, the Italian vampire couldn’t help but roar at that scene. Laughing out loud at the girl’s clumsiness, she even had to lean against the same tree that hit her (not the other way around). She couldn’t help it, it’s like when you see someone trip on her own feet and want to help, but you just can’t stop laughing. Except she didn’t really want to help her. “Cazzo, bambina, sei veramente una maldestra.” Unnecessarily catching her breath, she sighed with a little chuckle and suddenly jumped her, pinning her to the ground. “My doc said I’ve been missing werewolf from my diet. So… Thanks?” And her fangs violently pierced two, deep holes in her curvy neck.

Orion had been surprisingly lucky. In his months since he began coming to the Scribe headquarters hidden in the middle of the woods, he hadn’t been attacked or hurt once. In the woods. In White Crest. It was a miracle. The woods had been one of the main reasons he had talked himself out of coming back to the headquarters for so many years after his Uncle had originally shown him. Apparently, his luck had run out today though. His hearing picked up on the altercation, but he couldn’t tell how far away it was yet. He needed to focus. He took a deep breath and tried to home in on the sounds, finally pinpointing it after he heard something or maybe someone colliding with what he assumed was a tree. Against his better judgement, he took off in the direction of the sound, leaping over tree branches and weaving between trees. He tripped more times than he was willing to admit and had bounced off a couple of trees, but by some miracle he had stayed upright the entire time and continued to readjust his direction to follow the sounds of struggling. He finally broke into a small clearing to find two women, a girl on the ground and pinned by another, the woman’s mouth digging into the victim’s throat. It had to be a vampire, right? Oh boy. He had never come in contact with a human vampire. Which could only mean the tingling sensation that he was feeling meant the second girl must be a werewolf. “Hey!” Rio yelled, trying to force some confidence in his voice instead of the trembling that he sure was present. “Let her go!” He called out, jumping into the clearing and grabbing onto the woman, attempting to pull her off of the girl. But Jesus, that woman was strong, way stronger than Rio was. Uh oh.

By the time Layla had started to come around, it was too late. The woman that had been chasing her, aside from stopping to laugh at her misfortune, was already on top of her, and as soon as fangs sank into Layla’s neck, she let out a bloodcurdling scream. The last time she had been bitten by anything, it had almost killed her. Her mind had flashed back to that night in the woods when her father left her to die at the hands of a werewolf. Her heart pounded fiercely in her chest. She felt faint. And no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t shove the woman off of her. Vampire. It was her first encounter that she had known of, but her training as a hunter did offer her some knowledge, in that moment, of things she could potentially do. Unfortunately for her, she didn’t have any of the right weapons with her, and the one part of herself that normally gave her protection wasn’t working out for some reason, “Get…off….me!!!!” It wasn’t until she heard a voice in the distance, that Layla’s mind left her situation for the briefest of moments, and when she watched as he came forward to try and help get the leech off, she knew Francesca was still too overpowering, even for what smelled like...a hunter?

The branches shaking like the girl in her arms, dry leaves crushing with sudden impact and occasional bumping sounds - there was someone coming their way. It was never prudent to allow a living thing to witness a vampire feeding off a victim, it’d rat out her identity, yet she couldn’t care less. She was old enough, she was strong, well-connected, and she was hungry. What smelled humanly was getting closer, but he posed no threat. That living heart beat so fast, that ragged breathing, the sweat - they were as hesitant and even frightened as the redheaded puppy. The all-mighty hero jumped and dared to touch her. Fran let go of the werewolf for a second, pushing him and shoving him against a tree with a simple, easy motion of her hand. “Fuck off, kid,” she mumbled with her face still buried in the girl’s neck, lips smearing the blood all around. Whoever said you can’t play with your food was absolutely wrong, it’s just bloody fantastic. Francesca pulled up the shifter, sitting her up in one go, holding tightly to her upper arm and grabbing her hair so it wouldn’t get in her way. A crack, like a broken bench, echoed in the quietude of the forest, fingernails digging into her flesh. Ops, might have broken something. It wasn’t her intention to leave her completely debilitated. But then again, with that one in the picture, she might need to kill them both. She pressed her palm against the girl’s mouth to keep her quiet, actually enjoying the struggle. “Shhh, be a good girl and I might let you live after I kill that brat…” The vampire licked her blood-squirting neck. “I don’t think you’d like your meal blabbing while you’re trying to eat it.” And gave her another deep bite on top of the other.

Whether or not she was just a normal, everyday vampire wasn’t exactly clear as of yet, but Orion could definitely attest that she was incredibly strong. Way stronger than he was. His strength was built to match werewolves though, not vampires. Plus, he was pretty sure he had read that vampires get stronger the older they get. Did that imply that this woman had been around for a long time? Too many unknown variables. All Rio could process right now was the pain he felt as the woman shoved him backwards into a tree. It hadn’t looked like much effort at all for the woman, but Rio felt like he had just been body slammed against the trunk. His back stung and he crumpled to the ground, glancing up and forcing his vision to regain focus just to catch her digging her fangs back into the girl. “Crap.” Rio pushed himself back up, wondering what he could do to stop the girl from being murdered right in front of him. He glanced around the area, noticing fallen branches and twigs lying all over the place. With the woman distracted, it may not be that difficult to simply… stab her. It wasn’t exactly a wooden stake, but it would be deadly all the same. But… he couldn’t kill her. Even if she was attacking someone, what right did he have to end a life? A little maiming wouldn’t be that bad though right? He bent down, picking up a branch and breaking it in half, ripping pieces off so that the edge was sharp enough to pierce. Then he took a deep breath, closed his eyes and ran forward, stabbing the branch down into the woman’s leg using that distraction to try to shove her off of the redhead. “You need to run!” Rio yelled at her, hoping that she could wiggle free from the vampire’s grasp now.

Layla felt like a rag doll as the vampire continued to drain her blood. She had never experienced anything quite like this feeling before. She had given blood once, to the Red Cross when they had come to visit her school for a blood drive, but this was different. And with each passing moment, Layla felt just a little more lightheaded than the moment before. One thing she did see, though, was the man that was trying to help her, go flying back into a tree, and it angered her. Trying as much as she could, she began squirming to get free, but when Francesca picked her up, Layla could feel the crack of several ribs with nails digging into flesh, and she let out an agonizing howl. Some werewolf she was. With her mouth covered and tears now sliding down her cheeks, the redhead hoped some reprieve would come soon. And before all hope was lost, it did! With some slack in her captor’s grip, Layla, despite the pain she was feeling, bit down hard on the vampire’s hand before spitting it out and crawling her way towards safety. Well, as safe as you could be while struggling to get to your feet.

As one heartbeat throbbed madly, another slowed down. The werewolf’s blood didn’t pump as fast as it first did. Here was a special moment, when a vampire could actually feel a life slip away. It’d haunt her at some point later that week, maybe at the end of the month, when she found herself alone in her big house, but it didn’t bother her now. She had just decided to kill the other woman. Fangs dug deeper, tongue sucked stronger. She could hear the second beat but guessed the boy still struggled to get up after being knocked against a tree. And then the burning, maddening-stinging blow. It was followed by the worse bite that wet dog could give her, which bored her as much as a bee sting would, and she shooed her the same way she’d have done with an insect, pushing her away on both shoulders. It wasn’t a sign of surrender, she just had changed her mind about killing the redhead - she’d be killing the boy instead. Stupid boy. Growling as she pulled off the branch, Francesca stood up and turned to him. “You’ll fucking regret this.” In a flash, the brunette was standing right in front of him, blood all over her mouth, chest, arms, hands, leg. It was a horror show. The bloody hand grabbed his neck and lifted him from the ground, pushing him against that same tree, a branch scratching the side of his body, making a gash and tearing his top. “Scream. I like it.”

The woman was right, Orion did regret it. Almost immediately actually, as the attack had made him sick to his stomach and hadn’t even seemed to hinder the vampire’s strength or anger. It had only succeeded in shifting the woman’s anger from her original victim over to Rio. He supposed he was happy about the girl being free, but hadn’t exactly thought about what he was going to do once she was free. The vampire stood up, her body stained with blood, a mix of her own and her victim’s. It looked like a scene straight out of a horror movie, which Rio felt like he was currently stuck in. He should have run. Instead, he stood paralyzed by fear. He had always been afraid of hunters and the monstrosities they committed. In his mind, he logically knew that supernatural creatures were capable of just as much evil, he just thought that if they could talk things through, maybe they could figure something out. “I’m sorry- I didn’t want to hurt you I just needed you to-” Uninterested in his attempts to mitigate, the woman cut Rio off by grabbing at his throat, lifting him easily into the air and shoving him against the same tree he had already rammed into once before. He felt a sharp pain as something cut into his side, tearing into the hoodie and long sleeve shirt he had beneath it. Despite the much more pressing issue of the vampire currently trying to murder him, he couldn’t help but immediately feel the discomfort of having the scars that ran along his body exposed. But he was soon distracted as the woman pushed deeper and deeper against Rio’s throat, cutting off any chances he had at breathing. He kicked his legs furiously, connecting with nothing, and he clawed at the woman’s hands, but to no avail. And she was enjoying this? Holy crap. He choked and coughed, trying to form words, to beg the vampire to stop, but nothing was working. He could feel himself getting lightheaded, the life being quite literally choked out of him. He needed to do something now or he’d be dead. That’s when the idea struck him. He gave up on pushing away at her hands, instead flinging his arms back to his bag, the only thing separating him from the tree. He fumbled inside one of the pockets, feeling around for the container that he kept stuffed away for a rainy day. It stored little things, an iron ring, a silver necklace, a cross and salt. His vision was blurring now, and muscle movement felt mechanical and slow. But he pulled out the container of salt, holding it between the two of them and crushing it between his hands, watching all of the grains escape and pour onto the forest ground.

Layla was finally able to climb to her feet with the assistance of another tree. She hadn’t felt this kind of pain in quite some time, but her mind shifted when she noticed the vampire had gone after the man who had saved her. Clutching at her side, Layla looked around frantically for some way she could help him, but her mind was drawing a blank as the world was still spinning around her from lack of blood. And then she felt it, a low rumble coming from her belly. If she could at least growl or roar or something, then maybe it would distract the woman long enough that the hunter could find some kind of distraction. Standing there closing her eyes and panting, she felt it coming, and before she could stop it, Layla let out the best deep growl she had ever released, at least as a human. Face scrunching up in anger, she was preparing herself for battle when she saw the salt go down. Thank God! Her face quickly relaxed. Salt was perfect. It would keep the vampire occupied so the two could hopefully make a run for it.

“What you got there, little hunter?” Somber green eyes turned into ruby gems as they watched life slowly leave his desperate gaze, whilst he struggled and reached for his backpack. “That’s right, I know what you are. A little hunter protecting a werewolf?” She tutted. “That isn’t gonna go well amongst your community, yeah? The boy who died protecting a dog.” A dark grin spread across her lips, bearing out long fangs. He should’ve stayed out of it. She wasn’t a serial killer, she wouldn’t have hurt the girl (that much). But with all the drama he caused, now she obviously couldn’t let them just walk away like nothing happened. He bloody “branched” her leg! In the back, the redhead growled loudly, which only made Francesca roll back her eyes. “Will you shut up?! I’m trying to have a conversation here and inform this little guy about what’s going to happen after he dies!” She knew the wolf was in a bad shape and wouldn’t be able to do anything against her. It was pointless giving her any time of her night. Yet as soon as she was about to keep explaining the truths she was going to spread about tonight, there was salt e-ve-ry-whe-re. Francesca tightened her grip, growling loudly in anger, wanting to choke him at once. But her persistence lasted no longer than a couple of seconds and she pushed him aside with anger, dropping to her knees. “FUCK!” She cursed out loud, starting to pick and count every grain found under the dry leaves, stuck to wet dirt and damp grass. She used all her speed, appearing as nothing but a blur passing by their eyes. They were going to die a fucking painful death when she was done.

This vampire knew nothing about Orion, but still seemed to hit the mark way too closely. His only hope left had been the salt, which he had been increasingly afraid was not going to work, especially when the vampire didn’t immediately stop choking him out to focus on the salt. But after a long moment before he was being shoved aside, dropping into the ground and grabbing at his throat as he gasped for breath. He wished he had more time to celebrate that the stupid salt trick had actually worked. But right now, his only goal was to get far, far away from the woman. He crawled back up to his feet, still feeling dizzy and grasping at his side, catching the scent of blood as it began to leak from the wound. He moved slowly at first, but as soon as he got to the redhead and the two began moving through the woods he picked up speed. “We need to get far, far away from here.” He gasped as the two ran through the woods, trying to listen for anything that might signal safety. Through the fog, he could hear something over to their left. It was too hard to tell the specifics, but it was better than nothing. The two made their way toward the noise, Rio tripping multiple times along the way but managing to stay on his feet. Finally, the two broke through the trees and out into what looked like a neighborhood. “Houses. Let’s get into the house!”

Layla found relief when Orion had hit the ground. There was their opportunity, and she had just hoped he could get to his feet in time. With the blur streaking around counting salt, she knew their time was limited, but when he started moving, she followed. Layla hadn’t been to this part of White Crest, so her sense of direction was skewed, and it wasn’t helping that she was dizzy and her ribs were throbbing. However, she trusted Rio and followed him closely. When they broke through the fog and safety sat just ahead, she picked up the pace. The closest house just so happened to be for sale and as Layla used what strength remained, she busted open the door allowing them access. Once inside, she frantically began looking for something they could use to bar the door. She wasn’t sure how much time they had remaining, but she didn’t want to waste any of it. Panting, she continued to look, “The door...what are we gonna block it with?” She looked to the hunter who she noticed wasn’t exactly in the best shape either.

The blur of a shadow still flashed back and forth. Of all places, that needed to happen in the woods. In the bloody woods, with the mud, the dirt, the leaves, the branches, the insects and every other possible thing that could get in the way of finding millimetric grains of salt. “Fucking five hundred and thirty five,” Francesca counted it in a whisper, zipping in circles around the tree where the shaker was broken, like a maniac. The sooner she finished counting all that fucking salt, the sooner she got to kills those two. The pile was considerably smaller and there was just a tiny portion piled up here and there. It was almost time for the blood bath.

The last thing either of them needed was a breaking and entering charge to make their days even worse, but Orion was fairly confident that nobody else was in the house that they had just broken into. Of course, the pain in his sides was enough to throw his senses off their game a little bit, but they didn’t have much of a choice regardless. Once inside, he felt like he was finally able to catch his breath for the first time, and the pain in his side finally had a chance to remind him that it was still there. “We don’t have to block the door,” He gasped through heavy breaths, “She can’t get in here.” Not much for an explanation, but he needed a minute to collect himself before he could focus again. He pulled his hand away from the wound and caught blood on it. Great. Oh well, it would heal fairly soon. “My name’s Rio, by the way. You doing okay?”

The training Layla had regarding vampires had gone out the door as soon as they had taken off in a mad dash to safety, but when he had said something, it reminded her about the invitation rule. At least she thought that was legit. Between watching Buffy religiously growing up and having her parents spew facts at her, she couldn’t quite keep it clear. But to be fair, before she had become a werewolf, she had never encountered a vampire in her life. Looking to the man, she noticed the blood on his side, “Layla, and I would so rather be meeting you under different circumstances. But I’m fine. I’ll be fine. Are you?” She nodded towards his shirt, “You need help.” She had forgotten about the blood that was probably seeping down from the two puncture marks in her neck. Her ribs sure didn’t let up though, “Maybe there’s towels or something we can use. Follow me.” Going towards the back of the house, she made her way into a bathroom and began looking around. She wanted to help Rio out, especially considering he was the reason she was still here and not laying in the woods sucked dry from that leech of a woman.

“SIX HUNDRED AND TWENTY NINE GRAINS, YOU FUCKERS!” Francesca shouted from deep down her lungs, the anger making her boil from the inside out to the point her hands were shaking and her fangs were at permanent display. There was no need to look around, she knew they were gone from the sombre woods where one could commit murder without feeling exposed. It took her no more than ten minutes to count all that salt, but it seemed enough for the dodgy couple to just run away from the big, bad monster. They didn’t slip through her fingers though, as the vampire could still easily smell the trail of blood they both left behind. Like Hansel and Gretel’s breadcrumb trail, yet serving the opposite purpose - leading danger towards them, not salvation. In less than three minutes, Fran reached the quiet neighbourhood. All lights were out, except for light posts on the main street before all the suburb houses. Her heels were the only thing that could be heard in the next mile around them. And as they clicked, one by one the light bulbs burst. Not exactly burst, but at the speed of lightning she’d simply climb up each post close to a specific house that hung a “for sale” sign, and break them herself. She could hear them inside.

Now silently, the brunette surrounded the house, studying the best angle to get inside. Someone went to the bathroom. What a terrible time to need to pee, honestly. She wondered what she’d do in such a situation - you’re being hunted down, but hey, you got to pee. Urgently. She felt so lucky for having a system that simply had no physiological needs except for nourishment. Fran found the tall window to the bathroom, loudly and slowly clicking her nails against the wooden structure around it as, slowly, her hand “fingered” its way towards the glass. She stopped, then knocked against the wall, as if asking for permission to intrude. Then nothing. Until, slowly, the brown-haired top of a head appeared, making way to pale skin, then familiar ruby-sparkling eyes. “Let me in, little wolf…” She whispered, hoping she’d caught her attention and left her distraught enough to look her in the eyes and allow her compulsion sink in. “I’ll be good… Make this easy and everything will be over soon.”

“Me? No I’m fine don’t worry about me.” Orion assured, though Layla didn’t seem to pay much attention to that, opting instead to mission herself to find some towels for him.” She made her way through the house, and Rio trailed slowly behind her, trying to take in the rest of the place. It seemed barely furnished, which made sense considering the for sale sign. Must be people in the process of moving out. He hoped some dirt and blood stains didn’t devalue the home too much, considering the two had broken in dirty and injured from the attack in the woods. As Layla ventured into the bathroom to look for supplies, Rio strolled past it and made his way further down the hallway, peeking into the closed doors to check the rest of the area at. He felt weird, invading this person’s privacy like this. But regardless, the two had already broken into the home and it was smart to hang out here until they could be sure that things were safe. He made his way into what looked like the master bedroom, completely cleared out of furniture. He was careful not to touch any walls on his exploration, not wanting to accidentally trail blood along the house. He jumped out of his skin when he heard the banging on the window from somewhere around the house. Crap. She’s back.

Layla was now desperately checking every drawer in the bathroom. Under the counter. In the medicine cabinet hanging over the sink. Anything that would help Orion and stop the bleeding, before things got much worse. But in the ways of first aid supplies or even a leftover towel, she found nothing but a single Band-Aid shoved and forgotten at the very back of a drawer connected to the bathroom sink. As she raised back up to go show him her find, Layla’s ears quickly perked at the sounds outside, and then she smelled it...her. What she hadn’t anticipated was the banging on the wall which caused her to jump. Looking back and not immediately seeing anything, Layla narrowed her eyes. Curiosity had easily gotten the better of her, and by the time she had moved towards the window, it was too late. Her eyes had found Francesca’s. Staring deep into them, Layla felt numb to everything around her. Everything seemed to be okay, and all that mattered was the woman’s voice. Slowly, opening the window without any control over what she was doing, she stepped back, “Sure, you ca…”

The excitement was nearly impossible to handle. If Francesca had a heartbeat, it’d be pounding in her ears now. Whoever said there was no thrill in hunting was just wrong. When you got to have an actual conversation with your target, things got even more interesting. No one wants a hunt that ends in fifteen minutes, there’s no fun in that. Unable to restrain the grin in her lips, her mesmerizing red eyes remained the only thing that could be seen through the window, the rest of her body and features were hidden by the wooden structure of the house. Both of her hands were on the windowsill now and the vampire was more than ready to enter de residence and paint those walls red. It was dull, it needed some urgent proper decor, being completely honest. Some vampire style would do the trick.

Orion rushed out of the bedroom and back towards the bathroom. His side throbbed in protest and his heart was throbbing against his sternum. The pain dulled his senses, and his heightened hearing kept cutting out. He could catch the vampire’s words but his own heartbeat cut her off. He finally burst into the bathroom just as Layla started speaking, Rio’s mind could picture the horror scenario where Layla accidentally let the vampire in. From behind, Rio threw his hands over Layla’s mouth, covering them and stopping her from speaking. “Please don’t say anything else.” He whispered, pulling here away from the window and making sure to try to redirect Layla from the woman’s eyes. Rio kept his eyes trained on the bathroom tiling. “Please just leave us alone. We don’t want anything to do with you.” He said, trying to hide the trembling in his voice. “She was trying to compel you.” Rio explained to Layla, unsure of just how much she knew about the woman who was hunting them. “We need to stay clear of the doors and windows. If we can hang out until the sun comes up then we will be okay.”

Layla was so close to letting Fran in. It almost felt normal to finish the words, but before she could, she felt herself being pulled away. Her eyes were still set on the red orbs hovering just outside the window. They were so beautiful, but the further back they got, the more aware Layla was starting to become. When she realized what was going on, she blinked a few times and tried to speak, “You ca leh me go. I won say nuhhing.” Her voice was muffled, but she was coherent and understood what Rio was asking of her. For the second time that night, he had saved her life. She owed him big time. BIG TIME.

With a quick pant, Francesca rolled back her eyes. That night truly wasn’t going according to her last-minute plans. She, herself, gave up on compelling the wolf. That fake hunter knew too much for his own good, and, stupidly, he’d keep trying to save the day. Good luck when he ends up crossing paths with a crazy werewolf out there in the full moon. The vampire suddenly disappeared from the bathroom window, banging on the opposite wall, closer to the corridor they were standing in. “Little pig, little pig - let me come in,” she quoted the children’s story, a vicious smile gracing her lips. Again, she was having a little bit too much fun for someone who’d probably have reality sinking in in a month or so. “Well, then,” she continued after hearing no affirmative answer. “Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house in!” Her voice sounded angry, but it was all an act - she just wanted to scare them. They did cause her a lot of trouble, she could have some fun out of it. After a minute of silence, she banged her hand on the front door, incessantly, loud and strong, actually breaking bits and pieces of the wood. Then it stopped. Francesca got bored. “No worries, we’ll catch up some other time.” And disappeared.

Orion didn’t know how long the vampire stuck around. But he could hear her for what felt like hours. Stalking the area, threatening them. He couldn’t stop himself from shaking. He was terrified that at any moment someone could show up at the house and let her in. That she would find a way to kill them, plus some other innocent life too. But eventually, he heard her leave. “It sounds like she’s gone.” He mumbled. It wasn’t the most comfortable, but he had found the laundry room to be the safest place for them. It had no windows, which meant no fear of being compelled. It also meant they only had to listen to her taunts instead of seeing her make them in person. He was currently lying on the ground, and was too afraid to risk anything else. “We should stay here. Just in case. Until morning. I don’t want to risk her hiding some place out in the woods waiting for us to leave.”

Layla had almost gotten them killed and that raced through her mind as they were both shoved into the laundry room together. She hadn’t expected any of this to turn out the way it had, but she was grateful for Rio, and she owed him for saving her, “I am completely and 100% on board with that idea.” Pressed up against the wall, she could see Rio clearly with her wolfy vision. She could tell he was just as scared as she was. It was going to be a long night, but at least they’d be safe, and that’s all that mattered. Plus, it gave her plenty of time to profusely apologize for the mess she had gotten them into.

[skvaderarts]

Soliloquy Chapter Five: Adrift

You can check out the Masterlist Here for more links to places to read!

Otherwise, you can read the new chapter below. Enjoy!

And sorry it was late today! Family got int he way!

Chapter Five: Adrift 

Note: Once again, Mallovarwen and Skylarmorgan1899 are my emotional support reviewers, and reading your comments always puts a smile on my face. Thanks a bunch! I’m always happy to read everyone’s comments and feedback, so feel free to send them my way. I don’t care if it’s just a smiley face emoji. Now back to the story!

The overhead fan that hung from the double-height ceiling spun lazily as it wafted barely chilled air throughout the front office. A nearly finished box of pizza sat next to a pile of now negligible utility bills and empty drink bottles on the desk. Despite the fact that the music was still booming loudly throughout the space, Dante had slumped onto the front desk, his arms hanging over the far side facing the front door. The Youngest Son of Sparda had dozed off shortly after his troublemaking older brother and nephew had vacated the premises. It hadn’t been until they left that he realized how much he needed a good nap.

At seemingly the precise moment that Dante entered deep sleep, the front double doors slammed open and knocked against their respective sides of the wall. Dante jolted slightly at the sound but didn’t make an effort to raise his head and see who had just come into the building. He already knew. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. Not by a longshot.

“So you both made it back, hu,” Dante inquired, the desk muffling his speech as he laid face down on it,” I was starting to think that Nico had finally crashed the van and killed you ya.”

Standing in the doorway was none other than Nero and Vergil, the two of them looming over Dante from across the room like gargoyles. Nero crossed the room and leaned over the desk, trying to rouse Dante from his restful state. The older man didn’t exactly feel like snapping out of his groggy delirium when Nero probed him, however.

Nero stood back and shook his head. The gravity of the time constraints they were under made him feel uneasy, to say the least. “Come on, get your ass up. We need to get going!”

Dante rolled his head to the side to make blurry eye contact with the younger descendant of Sparda. What was he going on about now? He then glanced over at the clock in another part of the room, exhaling in discontent. “And where the hell are we supposed to be going at almost ten at night?” Dante asked in a mixture of distaste and disinterest. He had been taking a perfectly good nap and now it was ruined.

From his place standing against the far wall of the shop next to the now-closed doors with his arms folded across his chest, Vergil chimed in. “Apparently, to Fortuna. I would have never seen myself going back there, but here we are.”

Dante sat up at his brother’s statement, now more curious and perplexed than irritated at them both. “And why would we go there?”

By this point, Nero was pacing aimlessly in front of Dante’s desk. He was not accustomed to being this out of his depth in a situation, and the time pressure only made things worse. At least when his arm had been cut off, there were more definite variables in the situation. Like the guarantee of pain, suffering, and the risk of bleeding to death. But using some sort of arcane anchor to pull a soul from Purgatorio, or limbo, or hell, or whatever this place was called and risking basically everything? Everything about this situation was supremely stress-inducing. He barely understood the concept of what they were even going to use the book for when they got it. All he knew is that they needed it because it was an item that V clearly cherished and that made it vital to this situation. And somehow it had made even less sense when he had tried to explain things to Nico. Magnolia would have to explain it to her later.

Clearly realizing that his hypertension riddled son wasn’t going to answer his brother’s question, Vergil interjected again. “We need to recover something important and we have a rather short window of time to accomplish our goal.”

Setting aside the fact that Vergil has just used the word “our” for probably the first time in their entire time that Dante had known him, the youngest Son of Sparda stood up at his desk and stretched, yawning. After he had cracked all of his bones, Dante shoveled down the last sliver of pizza in the box on his desk and turned back to face his clearly disgusted twin. “Alright, so how are we gonna get there? Doesn’t the ferry stop after dark?”

Nero nodded. “The last one runs in less than an hour. Which is another reason you need to get your ass in the van so we can go before we miss it!”

Dante chuckled under his breath at Nero’s comment. He was ever the firebrand of the family, no doubt about that. He didn’t respond, but he did decide to reach back and grab his blade off of the back wall. While Fortuna was relatively a cakewalk after the events of the last while, it was still better to be safe than sorry. “Alright, but this better not be the day she decides to drive through a building or something. I’m in enough debt as it is.”

Vergil raised an eyebrow slightly at the statement. “I should look into that one this is over. But Nero is not incorrect. Time is of the essence.”

As the eldest Son of Sparda turned and headed out the door Dante visibly paled. Nero shook his head and snickered as he walked towards the front door with his uncle. “200 bucks says he’s going to beat the living shit out of you when he finds out how far in debt you are, Dante.”

Dante shook his head and passed through the threshold of the front property. “Considering the fact that I still owe Patty those ten ice cream cones, making a bet with me isn’t going to do you any favors.”

Nero mulled over the comment for a moment in confusion before deciding that he’d just ask another time. Right now, they had much more important things to take care of.

~-~

To say that Vergil’s brilliant plan to simply use their Devil Triggers to fly to Fortuna instead of just taking the ferry had been a bust would be a gross understatement. As a general rule, none of them were willing to, under normal circumstances, reveal their true nature to innocent bystanders (unless you counted V…), but there had been no inconspicuous places to trigger at the waterfront, and doing so in the van was an explosive accident waiting to happen, so they had been forced to board the vessel. It wasn’t a huge ferry since cars weren’t exactly used commonly in Fortuna, but no one was going to comment on Nico’s driving abilities or the fact that she was probably the only person going to this island who knew how to fix a car. The vessel was mostly used to transport goods back and forth between the island and the mainland, but it hadn’t taken much effort to get on board at the last minute once one of the former had recognized Nero. For better or worse, seemingly everyone on the island knew who the young white-haired man was. This just happened to be one of the only times that that had been a beneficial thing.

Given the circumstances, Nico was the only one excited to be returning to Fortuna. The young woman missed Kyrie’s cooking and it had been a little while since she’d had the opportunity to terrorize the little ones. Before today, she and Nero had been out of town checking on things in Redgrave city, and before that, they had been out of town doing a mission for a client in Enamel City. Things had been tricky lately. After everything that had happened, the local government on the mainland had addressed the public, announcing an investigation into the matter. Catching the eye of the local authorities didn’t seem like a great idea. But they had left Fortuna alone, at least for the time being.

Nero leaned on the rail looking out across the water. The young devil hunter let out a steadying sigh. Given the fact that they were on the last boat for the night and were going to have to stay the night on the island, it was best that he calm down now as to not upset his family when he arrived at home. The boat would be docking soon, so he had come here to enjoy a last moment of reprieve before they disembarked.

As if carried forward with the breeze, Nero suddenly felt another presence near him. The young descendant of Sparda snuck a glance over his shoulder only to see Vergil walk past him. His father leaned against one of the nearby poles, leaving ample space between them. But somehow Nero could tell that despite the distance between them, Vergil had come here to say something. Or maybe he was just losing his grip and Dante had gotten on his nerves again. Either way, he didn’t spare it much thought. After all, he was trying to relax, and what could be better for his state of mind right now than salty sea air and solitude?

“... So who is Kyrie?”

Nero could practically feel the nerves in his brain pop lose and the neurons die as his brain came to a screeching halt. Vergil seriously wanted to ask him about that right now? This was the furthest from a relaxed topic that he could get at the moment.

To Nero’s continued horror, Vergil briefly smirked before turning slightly away from him. He no longer needed his young son to answer the question. The implications of their relationship were written across his now blush covered face.

Vergil stepped away from the pole and slightly closer to Nero, even if only by a few feet. He folded his arms and leaned over the railing, quietly captivated by the black sea before him. In a way, they reminded the eldest twin of his time in the underworld. Although not quite as luminescent, the mirror shine on the water’s surface was reminiscent of the quicksilver river that Dante had so foolishly questioned if he could drink from earlier that same day. Vergil shook his head silently. Dante would be dead within a few hours if left to his own devices in the underworld.

Nero rubbed his neck in discomfort before looking out across the water again. Vergil couldn’t make eye contact with him if he was faced out across the water sea. Or so he presumed. In all honesty, Vergil’s immense strength and power made Nero question just what he was capable of. He hadn’t forgotten how powerful Urizen had been and he never would. “She’s my, um… girlfriend. Why?”

The younger man hadn’t intended his response to come off so awkward. As he watched Vergil nodded in amused satisfaction, he decided that the best way to get out of this conversation and reclaim his now tarnished reputation was to redirect the question.

“Anyway, while we’re talking about family, where the hell is my mother? Do V and I even have the same parents?”

Despite the fact that Nero didn’t ask the question with any level of malice in his voice, Vergil seemed like he wanted to avoid his son at all costs. He leaned further over the rail, seemingly keying into Nero’s avoidance method and using it to his advantage and stayed quiet. Nero wasn’t sure if he was being ignored by his father or was thinking, but he decided to give Vergil a few more seconds before he got confrontational about it.

Vergil shifted and stood back up straight, his hands resting on the rail. He spared a glance at Nero, half looking at him but still not fully facing him. Nero gave him a sideways look, insinuating that he was still waiting for an answer and that he wasn’t exactly bursting with patience. After an awkward moment that felt more like a standoff, Vergil turned to full-face Nero. Despite his discomfort, the eldest Son of Sparda had never been one to back down from anything, even in situations when it most suited him. Call it a fatal flaw, but it was simply the way he had always been. At least as an adult. “The two of you have different mothers... And I have no idea where they currently are.”

Nero nodded slowly, quietly taking in the information he had just been provided. He was not shocked that Vergil didn’t know where either of them currently lived. After all, he had been in the underworld for probably as long as Nero had been alive. It made sense that he didn’t exactly have them on speed dial. Knowing Vergil, he probably didn’t even use a phone. But that did raise a few questions, some for now and some for later.

“... So do you know which one of us is older, then? Or did you even know you were related before all this bullshit started?” Nero asked sarcastically as he unfolded his arm and placed his hands in his pockets. He was starting to see why his uncle never seemed shocked when his older twin told him something else despicable or unbelievable that he had done. Although, this didn’t seem quite like the other times. Nero couldn’t quite place what it was. Maybe it was his father’s demeanor, his reluctance to speak on the matter, or maybe what he had said back at Magnolia’s house had changed his view towards him a bit, but Nero couldn’t quite shake the feeling that Vergil might actually regret what he had done to the two of them. He wasn’t sure if the eldest Son of Sparda was capable of apologizing, but Nero was willing to be surprised.

Vergil seemed to be becoming used to Nero’s little jabs at him, as the comment didn’t seem to affect him in the slightest. “I knew about him long before I knew about you, but that is... an exceedingly complicated matter for another time,” Vergil glanced in the direction of the van where Nico and Dante currently resided,” As for your second question, you’re younger. I’ve known his mother longer than yours.”

The eldest Son of Sparda paused for a moment, giving his next words careful thought. “... I will look into their locations after this is done. I make no promises.”

As if on cue, the horn for the ferry blew, signaling that it was time to disembark. Vergil headed back towards the van. It seemed that this conversation was done for now. Nero seemed to understand that and opted not to press the issue, for now, opting to head back to the van instead. After all, the ferry was going to dock and then return to the mainland again, with or without them on it. They needed to go. After all of this magic and mayhem was behind them, they would have all the time in the world to talk. That would be the time for concrete answers. As the sun fully fell behind the water blanketed horizon, one thing was certain. A reckoning was coming.

OMG, I AM SO SORRY THAT THIS IS SLIGHTLY LATE!! It’s just past midnight, but family matters came up, so I had to set aside my writing for the majority of the day. Also, this is a shorter chapter than normal by about 1k words or so. My bad! The next chapter is going to be much longer though. Much, much longer. And a lot harder to write lol! But look forward to Friday. This chapter is going to be fun hehe! And once again, thank you for your lovely comments!

[if-weshadows-haveoffended]

Strela Amura Part 2- Chekov x Reader

A/N: IM NOT DEAD BABEY! A SHOCK!!! THOUGHT THE VOID WOULD EAT ME BY NOW!!! Sorry, exams were a nightmare and I had three jobs at one point rip in pieces and now im unemployed because Uni is doing its goshdarned best to run me over with a semi-trailer. Anyway this took a bit longer than expected as I ended up re-writing it from Jim’s perspective 😊 

I took about a year hiatus from fic writing across the board and now im back so hopefully it’s a lot more active than it was my dudes <3

Title: Strela Amura (Cupid’s Arrow) (Part 2) Inspiration: here (x) Part 1: here (x) Prompt: here (x) Tags: Fluff, kinda-kirk’s-sister-but-kinda-not, Chekov and reader are doing their level best to give (and not give) Kirk a heart attack, Spock probably laughs in the distance as best as a vulcan can Words: 1400+ Masterpost: here (x) Prompt List: here (x) Mixtape Archive: here (x)

James Tiberius Kirk had very nearly had it UP TO HERE with his youthful navigator.

What was it about curls? Was it the accent? Was it the ability to calculate multi-variable calculus and integrate functions with limits to positive and negative infinity in under thirty seconds?

He wasn’t entirely sure anymore.

“Jim!”

“Keptin!”

He stared at the pair in general, his younger ‘sister’ and his navigator, uniforms off and dripping wet, standing inside one of Scotty’s little maintenance closets, clothes strewn all over the floor.

“Jim, there’s a perfectly reasonable and totally-not-erotic reason for all of this,” His ‘sister’ tried explaining. He just let go of a very long-suffering sigh.

Perhaps he should start from the very beginning.

They’d somehow managed to get out of the freezing hell-hole that was 1886 St Petersburg. Jim would be the first to admit that it was definitely a team effort on the part of Scotty’s incredible engineering feats, Spock’s quick thinking, Sulu’s fencing and the combined efforts of Uhura and Chekov in translation. In fact, the only real problem they’d had was Bones’ grumbling and incessant fussing over his younger ‘sister’s’ health.

He’d almost forgotten how much he’d missed her passion and enthusiasm for knowledge and adventure.

Though apparently, it seemed to extend to his very adorable navigator.

It was probably… at least three hours max back on the ship before he’d had Sulu report back to him. Apparently, cute lil’ sister thought it’d be very polite of her to help strip off Chekov’s ridiculously knotted cravat… and his coat… and help unbutton his shirt… and help take it off…

And well, according to Sulu, who was too busy laughing his traitor ass off, said little sister got incredibly flustered as she helped bandage up a wound that Fairy Tale Prince over there thought would be incredibly brave and dashing.

Bones later told him it was just a flesh wound.

The fact it was on his upper thigh most certainly didn’t help.

Then there was of course the incident at the Mess Hall, where Chekov allowed her to daintily take a bite of his stroganoff from his fork. Which she, of course, did so with a slight giggle before hiding her face in her hands in total embarrassment.

He wanted to puke from the cuteness.

But of course, of course, it ONLY GOT WORSE FROM THERE.

Jim, personally, didn’t have a problem with staff inter-personal relationships, after all it was none of his business and it would be for the best if he stayed in his metaphorical galactic lane. And after all, his sister was an adult, and not even his own biological sister at that. Not that it didn’t mean he wasn’t any less protective…

No, he needed to stop being so protective. She was perfectly fine gallivanting off to the other side of the universe in search of teensy bits of pottery.

But there was just something that caught in his throat, every time he caught Ensign Chekov flexing his arms around her, or deliberately flirting with her with some of the cheesiest lines Jim had heard in his entire life (and he’d heard… more like delivered… quite a lot of them).

And not to mention, Jim also highly doubted that the phrase ‘give you an education on the complexities of Russian language’ was to be taken at face-value.

Although, apparently Bones and Spock (goddamned fucking Spock) found it amusing to see him so constipated at the ongoing events and their all-too-fast unfolding. It was like that one time Sulu decided to take the phrase ‘punch it’ quite literally, and travelled at speeds so fast that it required use of seatbelts. Bones would often mutter something about the pair needing to use protection under his breath as he would spy the pair innocently grin at each other from across the mess hall. Spock would often ask if he needed to brush-up on human marriage customs and their festivity traditions, and perhaps if he was prepared to be an uncle.

And perhaps Jim could do it. Perhaps he could take all the teasing and all the embarrassment up to that exact point.

But Ensign Pavel Andreivich Chekov had just crossed the fucking line.

Jim was gonna have to pluck out both his eyes.

“What the hell are you two doing?” Jim watched as the pair them (rather Chekov) jumped about four feet back from his sister. Jim’s traitor little sister (as he was now calling her in his head) was wearing nothing but her underwear, sitting on a med-bay bed and had a rather red Russian kneeling on the med bay floor with his shirt off and his head between her thighs.

Not fucking again. This was worse than St Petersburg already.

He taught her better than this, surely. Surely he told her to draw the curtains and leave some form of warning in the form of a tie or a boot hanging off a door!?

“What!” His (he wasn’t sure if he could call her his sister anymore, he couldn’t deal with the stress) sister blurted out, covering herself up with her discarded jumper. “No! It’s perfectly fine, it’s nothing really!”

“Nothing? You two hooking up on Bones’ thrice disinfected med-bay equipment is nothing?” Jim clarified. The girl had a death wish, surely, and she was dragging poor innocent little Chekov with her. He should have protected Chekov better. He should have warned him that despite appearances, his little sister was incredibly persuasive.

“Hooking-hooking up?” Chekov managed to choke out, looking absolutely terrified of the situation at hand. He seemed to be panicking and the red in his face and spread to his ears and neck. “We’re not-“

“Jimmy, darling dearest brother,” His sister said with a long-suffering sigh and a pinch of her nose bridge. “There was a chemical spill in the labs. We’ve both just gotten hosed down, you can even confirm our alibi with Spock. He’ll probably do a report later today.”

“I wasn’t eating your sister out, I swear!” Jim could feel his heart actually stop beating the moment his navigator shouted it out at an uncharacteristically high-pitched way. He swore he could hear his sister mumble out ‘I wouldn’t mind if you did,’ under her breath. “I was just picking up my PADD.”

“Which he needed to double check that this rash on my leg was due to an allergic reaction when the fabric of my trousers met the acid.” His sister continued for him. “Really Jim, you’re literally the only person who thinks that we’re up to something suspicious.”

“Unless you’d like us to be up to that, Keptin.” Chekov piped up cheerfully with a sunny grin. “You free later tonight?”

“Yes of course I am.” His sister agreed with a cheeky wink. “I’d say at my place but it’s far too close to my dear brother’s quarters for us to get up to anything particularly loud.”

“HOLD ON A SECOND YOUND LADY I MAY NOT BE RELATED-“

“Yes, I zink zat karaoke contest would be easier done at mine.” Jim’s mouth fell open while he watched the conversation unfold casually, as the pair got dressed.

“You’re on Pasha,” She winked putting on a large t-shirt and gathering up her clothes in a messy bundle in her arms.

Jim stared pointedly down at his shoes. Perhaps he was over-reacting… just a little. He just couldn’t help the possibility that these two golden, happy things may break their hearts. And it was simply something he didn’t want to have to deal with. Neither of them deserved heartbreak, that wrenching feeling growing a little bit in his heart.

He took one last glance at the pair of them, laughing as she nudged him into one of the nursing bay beds. Perhaps he should let them get to know one another, after all, she was a (barely) a fully grown adult and Chekov was also fairly responsible if he wasn’t getting into any hijinks-

He did a double-take, unsure if he just watched his little sister not-so-subtly tap Chekov on the ass, to which the young navigator responded with a wink.

Kirk wasn’t sure how the rest of his day was going to turn out, but he made a mental note to see if Bones would be free to diagnose the alcohol-induced liver failure he was about to incur in order to forget ever seeing that.

[hello-john]

Might Be Most Anything from me. John  Images of things pop just into my mind with a very detailed picture on a PCs monitor. May be trigged from a word I just saw. I have designed very complicated machines in my mind while drawing its technical diagram that I use to fabricate the system which I put into the service I needed performed. The machine I am thinking about when writing this was drawn sitting on a toilet seat over time in a shite factory I suffered in for twenty years. It’s a complete heating system I built for one of my business buildings that was fueled with free used motor oil. Not much I cannot do. Played guitar from 7 by ear from moms Johnny Cash LPs at first for tuning then finding the notes and building with my hands really puts information in memory that builds images that has made me very inventive and I stand out among a large amount of people as one to go to for technical info that would solve there problems. I am a very gentle kind person that has never felt anger so don’t know the feel of that destructive emotion. I have had to be in some very rough fight with men and I can be deadly mean but it was only defense from necessity not fear. Many learned to respect me seeing the whippings I have given to teach men right from wrong to change their unkind behavior. If someone is hurting another bully style it pulls the trigger in my mind and that Facur is going to feel a beating and learn that hurting people is a wrong decision that is opposite of Gods instruction, therefore immoral. It was wrong for me to beat him also, but I can feel others pain and I know inside and out how pain feels as I have experienced much more of it the most and it is a very horrible and traumatic thing. I have three advance stage disease’s. Vascular, neuropathic and skeletal. The first two block blood flow and currently lack of blood has wounds breaking out in my feet heavy going up calves and hands. Prognosis states infection to gangrene at which point feet have to be removed. No worry here I can’t use them anymore and will be glad to get away from the suffering pain that many time’s the past year give me strong thought of an easy bullet through the temple. It’s get’s unable to bare but so far it makes me pass out after several hours of suffer. Right now I can think and write after it passed me out sometime yesterday. Now I live in fear of it coming on real strong. This fear is hard for me as I do not feel fear of things normally. Two childhood trauma’s instilled fear into me. Two dog serious dog attack’s developed fear of dog’s into me between 3 and 4 years old that I conquered very quick then a bad fire I put out at 11years old inside a small cabin my little brother and I had behind the main house we lived in a lot of the time. Providing this cabin was a very effective plan for my parents to have privacy for sex which I respected. Even quite young I knew what was going on with them in that area and there were other rules in place that kept my little brother and I out of the house. If it’s good enough weather outside we were required to be outside and we loved being outside. Even if it felt too cold in winter once out we could not come back in for at least two hours being too cold was not a reason to enter early that was honored.  I have been painfully cold several times in my life. I am not dragging out stories very far hoping to keep things interesting. I would sometimes like to keep going and would link to more on a subject only I don’t know how.    White  Roses Rambling About Giving Beauty Proudly Stop And Pop Stop And Pop Sunrise Trumpets Pop Pop  Constellated Horn Bells Exchanging Brilliant Orange Reflected Light Just As The Rose Ornamented  Miles Of  Cobblestone Awe Exhaust Away Blaring Into Breathtaking Trained Trumpet Vines That  Are Best Un-Missed

I have observed a lot of change in the pattern of life that adolescents follow over my time of life. I am 63 here in 2021 and subtracting 63 will reveal my birth year of 1958. It was 6am that 23rd of June in Pittsfield IL when I first sensed light upon exiting the dark chamber of development. John William Curry Sr is who began life in that, segment of time. TIME: This perpetualy moving invisible multi-processing machine developed to measure the past and future. I think a lot about time. One thing that poped into my imagination was seeing the future flowing into the intake of time passing through Changing then out the exhaust. I record this as a variable where I will refer to the Past at times,as The "Exhaust of Time" "Times Exhaust"and some others. It looks like a jet engine,just a big round tube with a spinning turbine blower pumping air needed to combust liquid kerosene fuel through the tube and believe me the air speed flowing in through it's front end is slow compared to air's velocity exiting it's rear. All engins that combust liquid fuel are air pumps. One simple thing about engines is that Air has a constant pressure of 14.7 PSI pounds per square inch. We do not feel the pressure of air against us as the pressure is the same inside but take a piece of steel that is a one inch x one inch square that weighs 14.7 pounds and with one arm on a table stand it on there with your free hand then you will feel a quite strong painful push and would gain an appeciation of psi in terms of power. What can be done with only 1 square inch and only 14.7 lbs of force from earth's atomospheric pressure? Well, only double that piece of steel's weight and you would be thinking lets get this off quick. Wouldn't have to add many more pounds and it would push through the flesh. Air pumps raise the pressure of air mechanicly by compressing it very hard into a small closed chamber. I am using automobile engines in this explantion of increasing pressure to high levels of power, capable of doing an outragous amount of work from a tiny amount to start with. Only 1 little square inch and a measly 14.7 psi. Multiplication capability here is great, we are taking a small number and making it much larger. I am going to use real numbers from my 406 cubic inch displacment Chevrolet engine I built for my 1974 Z 28 4-speed Camaro drag racing car back around 1998 about 450 Horse Power that could pull 3600 pounds one quarter of a mile in around 11.5 seconds. For me this is quick as I care to be moving it could barely get slowed down enough to make the first turn off back to pit area. I made several modification's to increase air flow capability as close to 100 % as I knew how, likely ending in early 90s. I modified the air flow ports through the cylinder heads with air grinders and sanders, larger and shaped better, added an aluminum racing intake manifold and used 1-5/8 diameter exhaust headers. I don't want to get to far into things but just an fyi about exhaust headers advantage, all of the tubes routing exhause gas out are the same length (factory pipes are all different lengths) being the same length, all pressures are equal in flow speed and volume all nice and smooth unlike the constantly changing factory units, we can get near 30 horsepower here and another thing choosing the optimum diameter headers is critical.

The carburetor only does 2 basic things 1 Meter fuel 2 Control air flow. If the carb. is correctly sized in CFM cubic feet per minute and metering jets are proper size then the air and fuel will be mixed together at 14.7 parts air to 1 part gasoline into a vapor. Commonly called a 14 to 1 ratio 14:1. A/F Ratio air fuel.This is optimum ratio for complete combustion of liquid fuel. I installed an Oxygen sensor into exhaust flow connected to a milivolt meter when 200 Mv was displayed A/F was correct. Mid-eighties I think is when car's started the electonic engine managment. The O-2 sensor monitors exhaust gas temperature by converting heat to an electical signal. 200 Mv milivolt signal tells the computer fuel combustion is normal. If it goes higher this tells the computer not enough fuel is being supplied because the exhaust temperature has raised. If it goes lower it is saying too much fuel is present though this is rare to happen it does. One case I recall. The water temperature control thermostat stuck in the open postition not allowing water to heat up to proper operating temperature which told a temperature sensor to signal the computer the engine is not warmed up yet deliver more fuel to run a cold engine. This is all really long ago and my memory does experience recollection difficulties as I am quite ill in high levels of pain continually and to fail mentally as a result though I value fact and truth to no end I will not steer wrong knowingly. I used a .030 over 400 small block Chevy with the longer sroke crank of 3-3/4" went with the longer 5.7 350s rod a KB Hyperutectic trick piston allowing extra rod length capability reducing rod angle sharpness when crank throw is at 90 degrees and 1.6:1 ratio rockers on intake and exhaust valves, stock is 1.5:1. This is a very effective trick for extra power. I am just going from memory from many years ago when all this took place. I had built many stock engines before but this was my first high performance engine build. I always dreamed of drag cars and engines since childhood going to the drag races watching a pure white awesome 57 Chevrolet 4-Gear Stand up on it's ass end hitting all 4 gears! I love torque. Blasting out of the hole this gold van pulls up into a 65-70 degree wheelie packing it's V8 completly down the quarter mile that nice day at Lee Co Dragway back in the 60s In current (western) culture, more and more people are searching for a connection with the divine within themselves instead of a connection with an external almighty power. These 3 lines are from a

[braindamageforbeginners]

Pre-Cycle 3 MRI

In a recent episode of “Hardcore History,” Dan Carlin discussed the history of torture and public executions. He pointed out that, even though there is a script for most of these things, there are enough uncertainties and variables in the scenario so that you’re never 100% guaranteed what will happen (there are reports of the executioner taking dozens of swings to finish the job, which, as someone who’s worked with cadavers, makes sense - the human body is far tougher and more resilient than you can imagine - if you’ve ever gotten a bad, chewy steak, imagine that but moreso)(I can’t comment on any flavor differences). But the vast majority of the time, the end is pretty much certain for the condemned.

And, like everyone, Carlin eventually wonders what it must be like to be in that weird situation the night before being put to death, in which you have a really good idea of the ending, and even some of the build-up to that, but no guarantees. I wondered why he didn’t get off his ass and make some phone calls to death row to get an interview (I realize public access to the condemned is limited for a wide variety of good reasons, but I’d imagine you could, with some work, get in touch with someone who could make some calls on your behalf or something). Or otherwise healthy people who are diagnosed with an eventually-fatal illness while they’re still healthy. And there are loads of people in that situation - not just cancer patients, but people with Parkinson’s or Huntington’s, or similar situations.

Obviously, you feel fear - you feel horrified, in a way that I don’t think anyone will know until it occurs to them. Loss, not only of your own life, but of all the things you’ll never do or experience. And the unfairness.

You are held together - right now - by some hope that in the future, you will be able to improve your life, or some noticeable aspect of your life. People without that usually don’t function in public. When you get some truly awful diagnosis, there is an abyssal crushing sensation that this is it - this is  as good as it gets. You will, from this day hence, get weaker, feebler, less-you (if you suffer from a neurological disease), until you die. Or, if you live in states with assisted suicide laws, you decide the misery is unendurable (and it’s never going to get better, remember - that’ the thing I keep having to remind healthy people, is, by definition, the minute a disease is fatal, it ends one way. Not to endorse suicide, but, once you hear that sort of diagnosis from several physicians, you’re not killing yourself, you’re just skipping a few of the more unpleasant steps in between then and now.

For all of you wondering, I haven’t yet received that particular diagnosis - yet - but I had enough of a set-back recently to make it, shall we say, more present in my mind. So, the good news - I’ve been cleared to proceed to the next cycle in the trial, which is good; the bad news is, there is a spot (probably several) that are suspicious-looking. It’s not prominent or well-documented enough to be indicative of anything (more on that in a minute), but Senior Warlock did, while okaying me for the next cycle (again, that’s a good thing; if you get diagnosed with growth disease progression in a drug trial, they’ll kick you out in a second, so I guess that means there’s no worrisome progression) cut my observation time in half (in other words, instead of two months to the next MRI, one). I don’t know if that’s permanent or not; I do know that the Warlocks and the team of very protective of their professional/academic reputation for being exceedingly aggressive and getting better-than-average patient outcomes, and this is probably just him going after this as best he could at the moment (right now, we’re talking about something so small on the MRI it could be a weird resolution error)(I hope). I’ve had the truly-horrifying experience, with Mad Scientist, of, “Wait right here, I’ll get the surgeon’s schedule coordinator,” and I’m not there (well, yet; we’ll see in early May). And, it is worth noting that Warlock’s first guess was stroke (what? When the hell did that happen), although it could also be radiation (I heard that as “radiation damage,” since several neurologists have mentioned that as a possible visual, Mom heard that as “Tumor spread,” as in how a starfish’s legs radiate from the center), MRI error (I’m well-acquainted with those, trust me), the fact that the Warlocks like everything in above-HD definition (I like to call it it “ADHD definition”) which distorts these things - if you listen carefully, you can hear the “bargaining” stage of Kubler-Ross’s Stages of Grief.

I’m not going to lie, I’m beyond terrified about this, since, even though I have had several weird blips and errors on MRIs over the years, the majority of them turned out to be serious health risks. On the other hand, still healthy enough for more temodar and Captain America serum, and the original tumor is looking pretty good.

This might seem a little grim, but, as Mom pointed out, even if I beat the odds (and suddenly I’m feeling like a moron for every thinking that), there will come a day - far sooner than I realize or expect - that I won’t be able to write (which is true of all of us, so take note). So, you guys get my rather gloomy musings (better that than nothing, I suppose). Or I might just need my psychiatrist to increase my antidepressant dosage (I’m too tired, but I do want to write about that later).

[aju-naisu]

that was painful to watch. -joshua hong

anonymous said to aju-naisu:

Hey! Can I request a joshua best friend confession au? Where a simple friendship maybe in highschool leads to you both liking each other and you being scared to confess, since a lot of people liked him. 

The joshua best friend confession au I would like to be fluff and fluffy as much as you can (sorry for two asks)

joshua hong x reader word count: 5276 summary: [high school au] jeonghan gives the worst love advice. [fluff and fluff] a/n: (don’t worry about the double asks! i totally get it) this was only meant to be 1k that i would have written in like a week or less instead it took like. Over a month and became 5k holy shit. I’m so sorry it took so long sdfnsk,djfhnksjhdfnm I got caught up in a lot of work and lack of motivation is a biHct ….the text segment exists because i got really tired at 3 AM i’M SO SORRYRYRYYR hao is handling all the fluff from now on, definitely  -希

0. smooth moves

If someone in the hallway listened closely, late after school on a Thursday, they could hear laughter echoing from the music room even from halfway across the school. If they walked a little closer, they'd hear jumbled up guitar chords and play-drunken singing following along terribly to some original tune.

As far as you know, no one had come close enough to see the two of you messing around on a guitar, scribbling notes and cramming last minute for a test first thing in the morning the next day. It was something you shared with Joshua,

It was one of the last remaining things.

In your lap rests an open binder containing handouts upon handouts of material you haven't sifted through yet, all you want to do is curl up and sleep for 5 years (preferably beside the one accompanying you at this hour). The singing is gentle and angelic for once, as you have neglected to join in, and it almost lulls you to rest a dozen times. You don't have the heart to tell him to stop, though.

“Joshua, aren't you going to study?” You let out a yawn, blinking your eyes a few times after. You never realized they'd gone dry due to how long you stared at 11pt Times New Roman font without stopping. “... that was a stupid question, nevermind.”

It must be great to somehow breeze through school without as so much of a hitch. Joshua chuckles at the grumbles you make in discontent, pausing in his song to give you a soft pat on the wrist. “I'm sure you'll do fine, you've been working really hard. Don't stress too much.”

“Easier said than done.” You groan, smushing your hands against your face. It's just so tiring. Your entire academic career was grounded by your natural knack for cramming. “Don't talk to me, Mr. Linguistics Genius.”

“But--”

You spring to action, taking your ruler and press it against his mouth hastily, shushing him, “We are not on speaking terms until I finish this goddamn practice test!” You let out a huff, and throw the ruler into the ground.

He watches as you scribble numbers and sequences onto question sheets for a moment before he returns to his guitar and music. Unlike you, Joshua was surrounded by sheet scores on the ground as opposed to exam notes and tears. He strums a chord, humming along to a song as he played, and you have to pretend you're not paying rapt attention to everything he's doing. The struggle isn't the material, it's paying attention to the material.

When you finish, fifteen minutes have passed, that's a solid fifteen minutes of listening to Joshua sing softly in the back while you suffer through calculus. For what it’s worth, you'd spend another thirty minutes of torture to make him sing for you again. He'd never find out about that.

“How was that?” Joshua smiles brightly at you when you look up from the sheet.

You lean back, ignoring the miniscule flutter in your heart, stretching your arms up and your back out. When your eyes trail back down to the mountain of material left to cover, you yawn in exhaustion, “You always sound like an angel…”

“Huh?”

“... What?”

Your best friend blinks confusedly at you, “I was… asking about the practice.”

All of a sudden, you shoot up straight in your chair and bubble with nervous laughter, looking anywhere except meeting his gaze. In the midst of your sputtering, you can only feel your face get hotter and hotter while you’re helpless to do anything about your embarrassment.

“It’s good! It’s fine! I’m fine!”

Wow.

You’re really bad at this.

---

1. nice going

“Your problem here is that you’re best friends and you don’t have a spine to tell him how you really feel,” Jeonghan concludes, taking a sip from his canned drink. The two of you are sitting across from each other at a small table at the school cafeteria, the chatter around is deafening, and it provides the perfect kind of white noise to mute your sensitive conversation to unwanted eavesdroppers. Or at least, that’s what Jeonghan claims. If you should ever listen to him, that’s up to debate. “Yikes.”

“If you put it that way, I just seem like a pitiful existence.” You groan, banging your head on the table. Speaking up again, your voice a little muffled in your current position, “I prefer ‘not one for taking unnecessary risks’, thank you very much.”

“Your love is unnecessary.”

You raise your head, opening your mouth to retort before pausing and grimly muttering. “... you’re right. That cut deep, but you’re right...”

Jeonghan almost chokes from the defeated expression on your face alone. He was expecting a much different reaction, one that involved smacking the table in retaliation and him nearly losing his head.

With a drawn-out sigh of frustration, you tug at the roots of your hair lightly, “I mean, what do you expect me to say? ‘Hi, I’ve been head-over-heels in love with you for like the past 3 years and it’s really starting to be a pain in the ass, so like I hope you accept my feelings since  hiding the fact that I’m so hecking whipped is such a bother because I really, really, really l--’!”

“You really, really, really what?”

In the midst of your impassioned soliloquy, you failed to notice Jeonghan gesturing madly at you to stop and pointing aggressively behind you until it was too late. You freeze mid-speech, making horrified eye contact with your friend on the other side before he dejected nods as if he just watched someone die. Reluctantly, you dread with every single inch of your being, you turn to face the person who just popped in without a warning.

“H-hey there, Josh!” You squeak, slapping yourself internally at the high pitch, “I was just telling-- Jeonghan that he… I really hate him for being so mean to me!”

“What did he do?” Joshua frowns, furrowing his brows as he turns his disappointed gaze towards the said boy.

Your friend only has the chance to shoot a nasty glare in your direction before Joshua begins to berate him. You can only laugh nervously in response. Nice save. Now you have to hope that Jeonghan doesn’t sell you out in spite.

-

2. stupid randomized variables

‘Just tell him already, it’ll be easy!’, ‘be honest about how you feel’, ‘it’s not going to hurt, I promise!’. Yoon Jeonghan was a liar, it’s not easy at all. But, then again, what else is new? Nothing. That's probably what makes it really depressing.

You sit crouched outside a classroom, the room where Joshua had his last block of the day. Normally he waits here for you before the two of you walk home together, but today there's an unexpected guest. So unexpected that you gnaw on your sleeves in agitation and your faces pull into a frown.

At first, you feel a little annoyed and almost frustrated. This morning Jeonghan was beating you up over the ‘perfect confession’ and ‘perfect execution’, now all that was to go to waste. The girl left in the classroom with Joshua didn't seem to be leaving their conversation on linguistics anytime soon. At this point, you consider going home by yourself.

But, even if you don't owe a stupid thing to Jeonghan, you don't feel right just ditching Joshua either. For the next five minutes, you just squat down by the door, filtering their words of conversation through your ears but processing nothing. You debate about leaving or not back and forth internally, and you never make a decision. In fact, you lose track of how much time you spent down there in the first place.

The truth stands, you're a little disappointed and maybe even envious of that girl. If you wanted to see Joshua as enthusiastic as he appears now, you should have taken a foreign language with him. Letting out a sigh, you lean your head back on the door, almost banging against it by accident. That would have been bad.

“I-like-you,” you mumble, closing your eyes, “why is that so difficult?”

You can just picture them on the other side, the exchanged laughter and the inside jokes being cracked. Jokes that you missed out on. You don't like it, secretly hate it, you just feel left out of the loop.

“That's such a great idea! I'll be sure to think about it then later tonight!”

How bitter can you get?

“Oh it's no big deal, thank you for that!”

Very. Her laugh is too pretty.

It matches too well with his.

He lives in a very different world from you.

Maybe you'll have a better chance tomorrow.

You're ready to push yourself off the ground, stand up and leave, but before you get the chance to the door swings open nearly hitting you in the face. You press yourself against the wall, and you're trapped between it and the door for a solids five seconds as the classmate leaves and exits the classroom. She's gone by now, and you hope you didn't yelp as loudly as you think you did.

With the girl gone, you're just left alone to sulk in peace on the ground again. Even though you wanted to get up, you've lost the energy to do so after being knocked down like that.

A minute or so must have past, because the door opens once again (you scoot out of the way in time), revealing Joshua in all his glory. You stare a little dazed, and for a second you think he's going to fail to notice you there and leave. You're not sure of what you'd say to gain his attention now either.

Except, he does turn around.

“Oh, hey! You waited for me.” Joshua pauses, looks at you a little weirdly, “... Is it comfortable in fetal position on the ground?”

“Very.” You clarify.

“Is something wrong?”

You click your tongue at that, directing your gaze anywhere except face to face with his. Internally, you're ready to beat yourself up in order for you to actually say what you need to say. Alas, everything in you seems to be made of pure stubbornness.

“No…”

“Um, okay then… Do you want to go home?”

You blink, shaking your head to clear your thoughts, “Ah, right, that's kind of important, isn't it?”

Joshua laughs, “Yes, just ‘kind of’.”

Pouting you stick your hand out in the air above, motioning to him to do the same to pull you up as well. “I’d love to go home.”

He extends his hand out, palm up and giving you a smile that could probably put the sun to shame. Though, maybe that assumption is a little biased.

“C’mon then, what are we waiting for?”

You grab onto his fingers, wrap your own around his hand. This would be the perfect time to tell him if you could find the words to say.

“Listen, Joshua, I—”

You're reminded of that girl in the classroom.

Glancing back and forth between your joined hands and his hesitant expression.

“... Nevermind.”

You figure you can wait.

He gives you one last reassuring beam before yanking you up by the wrist rather painfully. You let out a quiet shriek at the sudden jolt before stabilizing yourself with his hold. Joshua asks if you're okay one last time.

You're left to shake your head in response, reassuring him once again. If he's still skeptical, he doesn't make an effort to express it.

“Let's,” you wrap your hand around his fingers gently, hesitantly, tightening your grip, “let's go home, Joshua.”

It's so simple.

“Of course.”

But that's not so bad.

-

3. pick up lines

private message between it’s ya boi and Joshua Hong.

FROM: it’s ya boi [5:32 PM] >hey josh >did u kno >ur like a red skittle

FROM: Joshua Hong [5:33 PM] >??? >why

FROM: it’s ya boi [5:34 PM] >bc >i like the red ones the best

FROM: Joshua Hong [5:35 PM] >awww how sweet! >i like you the best too (: that’s so nice

FROM: it’s ya boi [5:37 PM] > . [5:40 PM] >okay man th

FROM: Joshua Hong [5:40 PM] >???????????? >were you silenced????

private message between it’s ya boi and SERAPHim.

FROM: it’s ya boi [5:41 PM] >aAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH >IT WAS A CUTE REACTION BUT I’M SO DISSATISFIED SMFH FJDFSK

-

4. friend card

What a little witch.

And you mean that in the nicest possible way that statement could possibly be taken, which is to say, not very nice. First of all, this girl would be getting a lot more points with you if she was actually working when the teacher spared the class a work period for once. It’s a gift in itself, how dare she take it for granted. Second of all, can this girl talk any louder? Not exactly the best in subtlety, then again, you are sitting directly beside her and her friend.

You swear, this gossip is getting to your head and screwing with your productivity more than you would like to admit.

The two of them whisper fiercely back and forth, jumping from one topic to the next. At times they would grow louder, before suddenly becoming self-aware of their volume and dying down into a hush again.

You roll your eyes, there’s only one direction this can lead to.

Not a pleasant one, spoilers.

Sure enough, as per your prediction, the conversation had slowly melted from ‘ginger candy is the worst invention to ever exist’ to ‘yes, I do in fact have a crush on xxxxx from class x’. This is where it becomes a lot less entertaining than before, which isn’t saying much, the two girls really didn’t have a variety of things to say.

Oh, no. There’s another reason why you’re suddenly paying such rapt attention.

They’re talking about Joshua.

crack!

The pencil in your hand snaps in two. The girls beside you don’t pay too much heed, way too invested in their own little party to notice your silent seething. Though the classmates around you turn their heads in your direction in confusion, mostly perplexed, a few of them are wise enough to feel a little scared by your sudden action.

After a moment of burning holes into your assignment paper, you take a deep breath and try to steady your nerves, tuning their talking out for a bit. You glance at your wrecked pencil, before sighing and moving to fetch another one from your bag. There are only a few minutes left of class anyways, you can ignore them until then, hopefully.

“I’m thinking of telling him today, after school?”

It’s funny how that timid little whisper sounds like a deafening scream to you.

You flicker your gaze towards the girl for once, it was the same girl from the classroom a few days ago. You blink, as though you’ve been dazed by her appearance. Out of nowhere, you feel a lot less irritated and a lot more…

Whatever courage you were clinging onto a couple minutes ago just died right on the spot.

Like an idiot, the words still come out anyways.

“Oh, good luck with that confession Reina!” Your murmur has a slight snark to it, but maybe they won’t notice it out of the goodness of their hearts. “I’ll be rooting for you there.” No. No, you won’t. But, it’s the right thing to say, right?

“(y/n)?!” She shrieks in silent mortification, “you heard that?!” her whisper is fierce, though she tries to keep it as soft as possible.

“I heard everything.” You drawl back.

Reina buries her face in her hands, groaning in embarrassment. Her friend awkwardly pats her on the back, offering a light laugh and a comforting hand.

“As his friend, I only want the best for him, after all.”

‘...I don't really like that outcome, though.”

As it turns out, you’re really bad at dealing with competition.

You’re even worse at lying, apparently.

-

5. assistance

The bell rings, signaling the dismissal of class for the final time today. You're already at your locker, putting away things you don't need and picking out things to bring home. Jeonghan’s knocking at the side of your door again, and as aggravated as you are you try not to let it show.

“(y/n), would you like to come with us to get coffee?” He asks an innocent question, but as his friend, you've heard it enough times.

“Who’s ‘us’?” You shoot back first. Other questions that must be asked in order to guarantee your safety and sanity include: ‘how are we paying?’, ‘what are you trying to bribe me into doing this time?’, and ‘god damn it, Jeonghan, did you forget to do your dumb stats summative again?’

“... Me and Seungcheol?” He hesitates. Of course, he would, he should know your response to that answer.

“I'm not going.” You slam the locker door shut in one swift motion, causing Jeonghan to stumble a bit as he centers himself again.

The boy is sent into a whining fit, shaking your shoulders gently in a feeble attempt to get you to comply. It's no use, you're simply too stubborn. “Why not though? You should totally come along! It'll be fuuun…”

“Does your definition of ‘fun’ consist of three-wheeling?” You grumble, planting a palm against Jeonghan’s face to maintain a certain distance between the two of you. “One time was good enough, thank you very much for the experience, I wouldn't like to have it again.”

“If I bring Joshua along, you two could three-wheel together?”

You scoff, “You're being ridiculous now. Suck it up and go yourself!”

“Wow, didn’t you know you were terrible at lying? (y/n), you’re blushing.” The smug grin set on Jeonghan’s face is enough to urge you to deck him right then and there in the middle of the hallway flooded with students. He doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut properly, and you find it mortifying that dozens of your classmates and people you know might have heard him.

“I’m not! I’m really not?!” You shriek indignantly, your tone raising with every word.

He laughs at you, “Really? Come with us then!” You don’t even get the chance to close and lock your locker, Jeonghan grabs you by the wrist and proceeds to drag you through the schools to wherever he was to meet up with Seungcheol.

“Wait, wait! Jeonghan!” Crying out, you try to tug your hand back from him, to your dismay Jeonghan is secretly a lot stronger than he seems. “I have a chem test tomorrow! Let me go, I need to study!!”

Comically, your efforts are all in vain and he seems to realize this as well. A few heads turn at the sight of your friend dragging you kicking and screaming along the floor, practically sweeping up all the dust in your path. No one really tries to help you though, and you make a mental note to never acknowledge any of them in your dying will.

“You have time for a coffee! Don’t worry, I know just the thing.”

You are definitely suing Jeonghan postmortem somehow for all the crap he makes you go through on a daily basis.

-

At least Jeonghan has the decency to buy you your drink if he is going to end up ditching you emotionally for someone else. Which is why you decide to be as petty as possible and order the most expensive thing you’re able to stomach. Jeonghan gives you a dirty look but at the end of it, you have your insanely and sickeningly sweet iced drink, so where’s the loss?

While your friend is having the time of his life, chatting it up with Seungcheol like the conversational master he is, you stand off to the side staring the two of them down with a straw in your mouth. They’re so happy, you think bitterly, and there’s nothing else you can look at otherwise.

It’s not until both Jeonghan and Seungcheol receive their drinks that you notice Joshua coming into the small cafe, slightly winded as if he ran directly here from school. You’re not very alarmed when he walks over to the three of you instead of joining the end of the line.

You are a little confused as to why he’s here.

“Oh? Joshua,” you begin as said boy is trying to catch his breath, “what are you doing here?”

It’s awkward while you wait.

“I just--” He inhales, steadying himself better, “Jeonghan invited me to come, I just had-- something come up-- at the last minute.” You stop, wondering if he knows you know about what that ‘something’ is.

Jeonghan doesn’t seem to have the slightest clue, nor does he seem to care at all either. He pats Joshua on the back rather forcefully, congratulating him on making it on time, “I was worried for (y/n) for a second, she would have gotten so lonely… oops. Well, I guess you’ll have to go through that queue first.”

You glance at the line up to the cashier, indeed it has grown a lot more since you had gotten here earlier.

You can already see Joshua fighting to bite back a groan. To spare him the pain, you offer him some of your drink, “Jeonghan paid, so naturally, I got the largest size and a nice but expensive drink I would have never gotten with my own money anyway.” You shrug.

“My wallet is crying…”

Joshua lets out a small laugh before he takes the drink, if anyone wanted to say something about how he didn’t get a new straw… well, they didn’t. “Thanks, (y/n).” He pauses, “sort of thanks to Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan’s expression can only be described as scandalized.

You shake your head, pulling Joshua along with you to sit down at an empty table to leave Jeonghan along with Seungcheol. Maybe he’ll forget about his salt easier this way, it’s much less work to deal with a calm Jeonghan than a petty Jeonghan.

It’s only after you’re seated do you realize how suggestive the scenario might be. The two of you are alone at a small table, with a single drink between both. You have half a mind to call your other friends over, but your pride would suffer a bit too much so you carry on pretending like this doesn’t look like a textbook example of a coffee shop date.

“So, what were you doing after school?” Master of conversational segues, you are not.

“Hmm?” He sets the drink down on the surface, “Oh, someone was just looking for me.”

Your rational side is telling you not to press more, that just seems kind of nosy. Unfortunately, you don’t really like listening to that side, and instead, opt more for the impulsive one. “Who?”

“Reina, you know her, right?”

“Ah, yeah, she’s a nice girl.” You comment, not knowing what else to say. Apparently, neither does Joshua, as he doesn’t make a move to continue anything. “... What was she… looking for you for?” You wince at the stiff tone and the feigned curiosity. Your voice sounds flatter than anything else.

“... You seem like you know more than you let on.”

You’re taken aback for a moment before you sigh, reaching to take a sip from the drink, “That obvious?”

“No,” when you look up again, Joshua is beaming back at you, “I just happen to know you a lot better than you might think.”

“So, um, what was your… you know, response?”

Joshua doesn’t say anything at first, silently holding his hand out for the iced drink. Once you hand it to him, he takes a very, very long sip. With every second he delays his answer, you can hear your heart hammering in your ears.

“I don’t think I’m the right person for her.”

You don’t even realize you had stopped breathing before in anticipation.

“Like, I believe the right person would at least feel the same way, right?” He reasons. You wordlessly agree with a small nod. “Reina’s a lovely person but, uh… she’s not the person I like.”

“Well, implying that there is someone else you are interested in.” You’re joking at first, swiping the cup away from his grip. A moment passes, and you realize Joshua isn’t responding anymore. The awkward silence that has set in was your fault alone for that passing statement.

Well.

Master of only conversation, you are not.

You feel a tiny sense of dread creeping up the back of your neck, if your heartbeat wasn’t pounding in your head already, it definitely is now. The imminent rejection just seems to loom over the top of your head, even though you haven’t said anything. That won’t stop anything.

“Um…”

It’s getting really warm in the cafe, or maybe that’s just you.

“... maybe there is.” He mumbles.

You continue to stare incredulously at him, and his gaze is still directed at the floor, anywhere but you. Is there really something you can say in this situation that wouldn’t make everything more suffocating? How terrible.

You take a quick glance away from Joshua.

You’re not sure what makes your blood run cold even more, the sight of Jeonghan slowly stalking his way over towards you, or the way Joshua’s face seems to pale at that too. Supposedly, he hasn’t the slightest idea of what you were talking about, indicated by his bright smile and unsuspecting mood. Why do you have a ridiculously bad feeling about this?

He pulls a chair out from another table and situates himself at an empty side, sitting down and leaning his face against his palm. You gulp.

“You look like you’re having a wonderful time?” Jeonghan gasps, “... Don’t tell me I ruined the lovely time you were having? I didn’t mean it like that at all.”

“N-no, that’s not it.” Joshua quickly waves his hands frantically in denial, “You’re not interrupting… anything.”

There’s a growing sense of passive-aggression emanating from your friend, you can only worry so much about that.

“We were just talking about,” you laugh nervously, trying to grapple onto any kind of excuse, “um… Our… classmates?”

“Y-Yeah.”

“Talking about others? What about yourselves?”

You seem to have forgotten about how easily Jeonghan can manipulate conversations to turn his way.

Maybe it’s how you both cringe at that, which causes the last bit of Jeonghan’s fuse to burn up. Because, the next second he’s abruptly standing up, causing his chair to skid back harshly against the tiled flooring.

You grimace, trying to hide the screaming internally because whatever is going to happen next is probably not going to be the most joyous moment of your life. You can try to pray, but you’re convinced that whatever god exists can do nothing to stop Jeonghan anymore.

He slams his hands on your table between the two of you, Joshua jumps at the noise, the surface shakes from the impact.

“You two! Have got to be the most painful pair of people to watch interact! Ever!” He hisses.

“Wait--”

“I’m losing hair stressing over your futures!” Jeonghan snaps, pointing an accusing finger back and forth between you and Joshua, “When did I ever sign up to be in the middle of your stupid mutual pining?!”

“Jeonghan!” Your screech is more akin to a panicked whisper as you try to keep your voice down in vain, “What happened to--”

“The only reason I’m here right now is because you’re too caught up in all those other people that have the hots for Joshua over here, and,” Jeonghan flips over to glare at the other, “you’re too damn shy to actually say something! I listened to this conversation for a grand total of like twenty seconds and I’m already having an aneurysm! You’re killing me, you’re actually killing me.”

It’s safe to say that both of you are rendered speechless by his spiel.

“Wonderful!” He throws his hands up in the air in exasperation. “It was absolutely damn agonizing.”

By the end of it, Jeonghan is practically fuming for a completely fruitless reason. There’s nothing you can think of to say, you’re way too delirious from the information dump that your friend just loaded onto you. Joshua clearly feels the same way about that.

“I.”

Was it just you or did the entire cafe go quiet?

“You’re welcome.” Jeonghan huffs one last time before crossing his arms and slumping back in a position that is not unlike the expression of a disappointed mother. There are merely two thoughts left in your head, one is how Jeonghan literally eavesdropped on that entire conversation before to be able to butt in like that and lose his mind entirely, and two is how Joshua is sitting there like a blushing mess almost entirely mirroring you.

You make eye contact, only to avert your gazes immediately thereafter.

How cute.

Jeonghan looks like he’s going to go crazy all over again.

You break the atmosphere first by bursting into embarrassed laughter, both at the scene Jeonghan had caused at the things he had said. Really, on the inside, you’re probably fuming. What can you even say that Jeonghan won’t smack you in the head for? “Oh, my—what the—wh-wha—?”  Involuntarily, you bury your face in your hands and hunch over, still shaking from your laughing.

“I—“

Yoon Jeonghan is a dead man.

“Thanks a lot, Jeonghan, but could we—could we please have some privacy now?

Begrudgingly, he backs off for now and slowly, tentatively takes steps back towards the table that you now note Seungcheol is waiting, a little distance away from yours. Jeonghan gives a glare that yells ‘I’m watching both of you, don’t totally screw things up’. About that…

It’s hard starting to talk again knowing that your friend is probably dropping in and hearing every single word.

Why did he have to do that?

“I—” Joshua stammers again, “I can’t believe Jeonghan just exposed me like that out of nowhere.” He looks down at his hands and then back up at you. You’re worried he may start to cry any moment now, but with how dizzy you feel and how the world seems to keep spinning you should probably allocate some of that concern to yourself as well. “Wow, I don’t… I don’t know what to say.”

“S-so, you like me?” At this point, you’re grinning like an idiot, whether it’s due to embarrassment or excitement, that’s beyond conscious comprehension.

“Yeah, yes, I think so,”

He starts to laugh at how crazy everything turned out, and you can’t help but do the same.

“Can we try this again?”

“Yes, please.”

You take a deep breath, most of your worst insecurities have been disproven, and it feels so great to get everything off your chest. “My name is (y/n) and I am stupidly in love with you and have been for the past however many years.” You rest your hands on the table.

He smiles back at you, and the elation you get might as well be some kind of drug on its own, “My name is Joshua Hong, and I’m probably stupidly in love with you more.”

“Is that a challenge?” You laugh.

Joshua merely places his hand over yours, tugging at your arm and bringing your entire body forward across the table.

“Why don’t we seal it with a kiss?”

“Isn’t that a little fast?”

“Not when you’ve been waiting for years.”

-

Over the next couple of days, your first couple outing is designated as ‘expose Jeonghan’s ass and exact revenge’.

[dipulb3]

2021 GMC Yukon Denali first drive review: From luxury pretender to legitimate contender

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/2021-gmc-yukon-denali-first-drive-review-from-luxury-pretender-to-legitimate-contender-4/

2021 GMC Yukon Denali first drive review: From luxury pretender to legitimate contender

From the blue-collar Chevy Tahoe to the stately Cadillac Escalade to the GMC Yukon in between, General Motors’ family of large, truck-based SUVs has been a huge seller over the years. Despite their popularity, these vehicles have not necessarily been the most premium, versatile or passenger friendly, though these shortcomings — and others — have been addressed for 2021. Thanks to a much-needed redesign, the GMC Yukon Denali has been transformed from a luxury pretender into a legitimate contender. 

Independence day 

Arguably, the single most important change made to these full-size family-haulers is the addition of an independent rear suspension, something rivals like the Ford Expedition have had for decades. Ditching the old live axle allowed engineers to add significant amounts of passenger and cargo space, but that’s not the only reason why it’s more capacious. For 2021, the Yukon has grown. Its wheelbase is up by nearly five inches and the body has been extended by more than six.   

Altogether, these changes get you a whopping 66% more room behind the third-row seat. Indeed, it is usefully spacious back there, roomy enough to house a couple pieces of rollaboard luggage or a whole mess of grocery bags. With everything folded flat, there’s now just shy of 123 cubic feet of junk-hauling capacity, a cavernous amount of room that actually makes the standard Yukon more capacious and an Expedition Max, the extended-length model that competes with the even bigger Yukon XL. 

Augmenting that independent rear, this GMC offers several different suspension setups. Coil springs with passive dampers support lower-tier models, but magnetic-ride shocks are also offered with coil springs. The top-shelf arrangement, however, features four-corner air bladders and those fancy magnetic dampers, which is what my Denali tester has. 

Unfortunately, ride quality isn’t as good as you might expect. Even with fancy shocks and air bags this vehicle feels unnecessarily stiff and plodding, likely due to the massive 22-inch wheels. Going over bumps, you still get some body-on-frame jiggles, but live-axle shimmies have been exorcised. The Yukon’s ass-end remains as planted as a fully grown oak tree, even when driven over nasty washboard surfaces. Body roll in corners is minimal and the steering is serviceable. 

There is an absolute ton of space back here.

Craig Cole/Roadshow

As they should be, this vehicle’s front chairs are hospitable for hours at a stretch, plus they’re heated and ventilated. But at long last, the Yukon’s rear seats offer plenty of comfort, too. 

With their lower cushions roughly chair-height above the floor, the second-row buckets are backside friendly and plenty adjustable. But thanks to that independent rear suspension, even the third-row is downright coddling, something you could never say about the outgoing Yukon’s rear-most bench, which was a no-grown-man’s land. Adults relegated to steerage in the 2021 model will have little to complain about as there’s plenty of support and loads of headroom and legroom. 

Interior improvements   

Setting the Denali apart from lesser Yukons and the Chevrolet Tahoe is a special interior and I’m not just talking about color and trim. The dashboard design is actually different, with unique air vents and a neatly integrated 10.2-inch multimedia display instead of a more freestanding screen of the same size. 

Not bad, GMC, not bad at all.

Craig Cole/Roadshow

GM infotainment systems have been killing it lately and this one is superb. It boots up almost instantly when you start the engine and it responds with immediacy. There’s no lag or stutters while swiping through menus or zooming in or out on the map. Aside from outstanding performance, this multimedia array is clearly laid out and exceptionally easy to use. 

Integrated navigation is standard in Denali models but optional on lower-end Yukons. Across the range, support for wireless Apple CarPlay and Android Auto is included, though SLT, AT4 and Denali models also come with a wireless charging pad at no extra charge (no pun intended).

Justifying its premium pricing, this GMC’s cabin is attractive and loaded with quality materials. Two kinds of leather are used, one with a fine grain and another that’s much rougher looking. At first, I thought the coarse cow hide seemed a bit crude, like elephant skin or something, but I’ve grown to like it because it’s used sparingly and provides a nice bit of contrast. 

Matching that leather, this Yukon’s various switches and dials look nice and feel high in quality. Even the dashboard-mounted electronic shifter is an unexpected winner. Comprised of buttons and toggles, it looks fiddly, but it’s easy to reach and intuitive. About the only thing that’s cheap feeling in the new Yukon is the windshield-wiper/turn-signal stalk, which, in typical GM fashion, is as rubbery as overcooked chicken.   

Life-sized adults will now comfortably fit in the Yukon’s third-row seat.

Craig Cole/Roadshow

A pair of 12.6-inch second-row entertainment displays are included in the pricey $11,180 Yukon Denali Ultimate Package, which also bundles features like those 22-inch wheels, power-retractable running boards, four-corner air suspension and adaptive cruise control. Crisp and responsive, these touchscreens make it easy for passengers to consume their favorite media, plus they even have access to the vehicle’s navigation system so they can put a destination in for the driver.   

In case you needed yet another screen in your life, Yukon Denalis also feature a 15-inch multicolor head-up display. It’s super legible, even in sunlight, and it’s easy to adjust the positioning and brightness via a few dedicated buttons on the dashboard.

A mostly pleasant drive 

Three engines will be available in the new Yukon. A 355-horsepower, 5.3-liter V8 serves base duty while a 6.2-liter unit is optional, though standard on Denalis. Smooth running and quiet, that big-ish-block V8 packs a punch, 420 horsepower and 460 pound-feet of torque to be exact. 

Both gasoline engines are available right now, but before the end of the year, GM’s excellent 3.0-liter Duramax inline-six diesel found in the Silverado and Sierra half-ton trucks will also be offered in the Yukon, which could be a gamechanger. No matter the engine, a 10-speed automatic transmission is standard equipment. 

Eight-cylinder engines are just lovely, and the Yukon’s 6.2-liter unit is a delight, both smooth and powerful.

Craig Cole/Roadshow

Underway, this new Yukon’s performance is excellent. My tester’s 6.2-liter V8 is silken and plenty potent, though I do wish it had a bit of exhaust rumble, because it sounds like, well, pretty much nothing. As for the transmission, it’s just as delightful, shifting smartly and seamlessly. But it’s kind of funny, with so many gears it sometimes feels like a continuously variable transmission because the RPM drop following each upshift is miniscule. 

According to the EPA, this Yukon Denali should deliver 14 miles per gallon in city driving and 19 on the highway. Combined, it’s rated at a scowl-inducing 16 mpg. Fortunately, in real-world, mixed driving I’ve managed to beat that figure, averaging around 18, which isn’t quite as frightening. 

Being the size of a Navy destroyer and weighing more than 5,800 pounds in four-wheel-drive Denali trim, you can’t expect this SUV to have cat-like reflexes. It’s undeniably big and heavy, but it doesn’t feel quite as enormous as it actually is. Making my tester a touch easier to manage is a host of adjustable camera angles, which give you a 360-degree view of the vehicle, plus parking sensors and a rear-view camera mirror.   

As you might expect, the new Yukon offers plenty of driver aids. Things like automatic emergency braking, pedestrian detection and automatic high beams are all standard. Denali models are also graced with blind-spot monitoring and rear cross traffic alert, but curiously, things like that camera mirror and adaptive cruise control are optional. Really, they should be standard at the price GMC is charging. 

Your land yacht awaits.

Craig Cole/Roadshow

A luxury price tag 

So, how much do they want for a 2021 Yukon? Well, a base, rear-wheel-drive SLE model starts around $52,000, which is a totally reasonable figure. In fact, depending on trim, prices have either remained the same as last year or crept up slightly, by not more than $700. But in comparison, my tester rolled off the assembly line in Arlington, Texas with a window sticker of $83,420, including $1,295 in destination charges. That’s a lot of scratch, very similar to a lower-end Mercedes-Benz GLS or Lincoln Navigator, vehicles this GMC actually has some chance of competing with now. 

With additional interior room, greater refinement and more tech, the new Yukon Denali is better than ever. If you’ve got deep pockets and like what you see, check your local GMC dealership, because they’re available right now.

[therighteousdingo]

Game Review: Yu-Gi-Oh! Forbidden Memories (PS1)

So, as of the last few weeks, I’ve been going back and buying all the old PlayStation games that I grew up with and rebuilding the collection I used to have as a child, while I build a new collection of vintage games in the process. One of the bigger games that stands out on this list, is Yu-Gi-Oh! Forbidden Memories. My best friend Kaire and I were huge fans of Yu-Gi-Oh growing up and this game was kind of the proving grounds for us. We burned hours grinding through duels to get the strongest cards, plowing through the campaign in certain ways so we can unlock certain sequences and even messing around with different monsters just so we can see them in action during the animated fighting scenario that you can activate when attacking during a duel. No matter what, in the end, it was all about the cards. Starting off with little to nothing and moving up to get our hands on the likes of Blue Eyes White Dragon, Meteor Black Dragon and even the Gate Guardian. But lets get this thing on the road.

The basic facts:

There’s really not too many to place here besides the super basic stuff like the release dates and some small trivial facts.

Released in 2002 in North America but released in 1999 in Japan, a relatively large gap.

The game was released in a dual-CD packaging yet only came with the one game disc. A reason for this is unknown, but I always used it to store a page with fusions written on it to remember them when I first purchased the game and was getting used to the fuse mechanics that I’ll go over later on in this review.

This one isn’t 100% fact, but I have realized over the years that the game is only vaguely based on the anime and manga of the show.

The gameplay:

Now here’s where things get interesting, so I’m gonna be covering the controls, mechanics and the other miscellaneous stuff that’s attributed to the game. To start off with a big one, the Fusion Mechanic. Now as I stated earlier, the game is only loosely based on the anime and whatnot so the basic stuff about Yu-Gi-Oh that we all may remember, is just tossed in the air, for instance, sacrifices; there aren’t any. If you have a 3000/2500 Blue Eyes White Dragon in your hand, you can just throw that monstrous sucker straight from your hand to the field much to your opponent’s avail. Now, to balance this system, they added this mechanic where you can fuse the creatures in your hand, rather half-assed, and create an even stronger monster. For example, a weak dragon, mixed with a thunder creature creates Thunder Dragon but if you add another thunder creature or another dragon, you wind up with Twin-Headed Thunder Dragon which is 2800ATK (I don’t really remember the defense, 2300 maybe?) and is pretty much your key advantage right off the bat once you start the game. Now the thing with fusing is, although some stuff is incredibly easy to fuse and come up with, some stuff just completely throws you for a loop for no reason, wasting the cards you were attempting in the fusion (oh yeah that’s a thing, if you’re unsuccessful with a fusion, the cards are just tossed away), which can be frustrating but isn’t that bad of a complaint since there’s a Free Duel option that allows you to freely duel, win or lose, against whoever you’ve played in the campaign allowing for trial and error which is definitely whats needed in order to master the fusion system. With this being in place, they start you off staggeringly weak but chock full of cards that give simple, quick fusions, so at least the game comfortably sets you into the system to quickly allow for you to learn it. 

The campaign is utterly straightforward. There’s the option to choose alternate dialogues sometimes, but these are rendered essentially useless considering the story unfolds in the same manner regardless of what option you chose. There’s even a moment very early on in the game where you’re set against Heishin, the primary antagonist of the game, but the game literally cannot progress unless he beats you. Granted, his deck is freakishly strong, to the point where his base cards are the fusion of fusions, if that makes sense, but if you luck out and manage to beat him (Kaire did this once but it was kind of on a fluke, nonetheless we freaked out considering we were about 10) the game doesn’t progress and Heishin gives a stock dialogue along the lines of “Agh! This can’t be! Again!” and you’re shoved right back into a duel with him and the game won’t move unless he beats you. I’d quickly like to point out that yes, every instance that’s life and death or will decide the fate of the world, is decided over a duel, but I digress. Eventually you get to play as the “modern” Yugi, playing against the antagonists from the show in a random tournament. Facing Rex Raptor, Bandit Keith, Mai Valentine, and even Pegasus, you wind up back in the past as the Pharaoh’s son facing Heishin and his cronies. You have to wander around and face mages in separate temples, each one correlating with a different type and deck (Meadow, Forest, Desert, Mountain, etc.) forcing you to be versatile in your deck building skills. Each mage has different, powerful cards that they can give up when dueled in the free duel option. All of this boils down to a duel against Heishin and then eventually his higherup, Nitemare, the game’s final boss. Its dueling, dueling, dueling. Not much more.

The Looks / Music:

The normal sequences of the game, in which you pick dialogue and such, are incredibly basic, to get the job done, The bottom half of the screen gives dialogue while the top half gives you a torso shot of the character speaking. This does have the potential to kill intense moments that they attempt to get across such as Simon Muran, your caretaker in the game, telling you that the High Mage Heishin has just killed your parents and that hes taking over the entire region and oh yeah, we’re about to have to hide in this millennium puzzle for about a thousand years, yay. It just doesn’t give tension whatsoever. The music continues as ever with the scene, which is normally just regular, tribal style music that bops, and they don’t have any staunch facial movements, leaving you reading it with a slight, boorish take back. So, the story is incredibly difficult to get into on a personal or emotional level like so many other games have done just before, but that doesn’t necessarily kill the vibe of the game; its a boat load of dueling, man. There’s an option for battle sequences while you’re in the middle of the duel, which is useless in the long run, but is a cool addition to both present the power of the PlayStation and see the different monsters in the game use their different attacks. It feels good to see your Red Eyes Black Dragon blast your friend’s Baby Dragon into oblivion, now that I think about it. That’s really the only instance in which the looks are truly presented and beyond that, its basic dueling (is that getting too old to keep saying?).

Now the music, oh man, the music. Its pretty fantastic. There’s a few instances where the only mood enhancer for the entire scene is the music, its almost overpoweringly “soundtrack”. To listen to them by themselves isn’t as enjoyable as the Sonic soundtrack, for example, but its fitting for the game. The dueling music is moving and bouncy and goes with the fluidity of the dueling nicely. There’s even a cool sound that goes with the fusions of cards while they fuse and swirl. A good portion of the soundtrack for the game is entirely electronic sounding, and some even bearing a resemblance to European house music, which blows my mind; its freakin’ Yu-Gi-Oh.

The Cons:

What in the hell is up with the Guardian Stars system? Anyone whose played the game will most likely side with me when I say that this system is a wonderful idea and addition to the game but is confusingly laid out and sometimes mind numbing to decipher. The system is pretty much a temporary powerup system that plays out while dueling, giving the monster in the appropriate standing a +500 boost to AT and DF. So, for instance, fire is weak against water, right? Well is Mars weak against Neptune? Because that’s how the types and guardian stars are presented. Monsters have a choice of 2 guardian stars, which are all named after Roman gods, and some are easy to decipher; Flame Swordsman is Mars and I can’t remember the other, but that means that Mars is obviously resembling fire. This takes a whiiiiiiiiiiiile to get the hang of. Nothing is more frustrating than randomly losing an entire duel when a one-on-one goes against you because the computer knew the Guardian Star advantage and you didn’t. They could’ve simply put the type names in the system and named is something else to ease the confusion of system buts that’s retrospective. 

The other big one that I can point out is the grinding. When defeating somebody, the game gives you a card depending on a load of variables from the person you defeated, to the way you defeated them, and sometimes, how many times you’ve defeated them consecutively. When you defeat them using a lot of stronger monsters, or simply over power them, you get a POW win, which is essentially a “power” win. There’s other ways to win like TEC which is “technical”, and is difficult to do, but sometimes necessary in order to get certain cards from duelists, you have to win in other instances like, winning by your opponent drawing their entire deck. This can wind up in you dueling a certain duelist for hours just to get one card. I’ve dueled “Jono 2nd” over 60 times (W51-L9) and still haven’t received his ONE power card: Red Eyes Black Dragon. However, I’ve dueled the Meadow Mage just under 40 times and have received 3 out of his 5 stronger cards. That’s 2 duelists and roughly 4 hours later and have only progressed around 20% of the game, so you better hunker down.

This game was a pretty damn good choice when I was deciding to get the games of my past and rebuild my collection. I’ve burned more than 10 hours and will easily burn through more. But to look at is as a game altogether in comparison to other games and not with my childhood bias, 

6.5 / 10

[junker-town]

Chris Jones made 3 big plays to help the Chiefs win Super Bowl 54

Chiefs defensive tackle Chris Jones batted down two passes in Super Bowl 54.

Retired defensive end Stephen White breaks down the three big plays free agent-to-be Chris Jones made in Super Bowl 54.

There were several heroes for the Kansas City Chiefs defense during Super Bowl 54.

Bashaud Breeland was fantastic both in coverage (he picked off 49ers quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo early on) and in run support as their leading tackler. Edge rusher Frank Clark cashed the check that his mouth wrote by putting a ton of pressure on Garoppolo late when it mattered most, and he also got home with a fourth-down sack that effectively ended the game.

Comparatively, Chris Jones’ stat sheet doesn’t look nearly as impressive. However, the big plays Jones did make may have had just as much of an impact on the Chiefs winning the Super Bowl.

Some folks might say it had even more.

3 plays Jones made that helped the Chiefs win Super Bowl 54

The stat sheet might not have shown it, but the film told a different story. I said in my Super Bowl preview I didn’t think the Chiefs would have much of a chance if Jones was only in sparingly, and sure enough he was back to full-time duty and in there on early downs. Once again, it was on several passing plays where Jones truly left his mark.

1. Jones’ almost-sack forced Garoppolo into a terrible decision

The first play came early in the second quarter, just after the Chiefs had scored their first touchdown of the game to go up 7-3. After one of Breeland’s tackles for a loss threw the 49ers’ offense off schedule, Jones knew they would probably have to throw. He then unleashed the rarely seen, and even more rarely successful, forklift-to-an-arm-over move on San Francisco right guard Mike Person to blow by him and get almost immediate pressure on Garoppolo.

Although he missed the sack, Jones’ pressure forced the quarterback up into more pressure from fellow Chiefs defensive lineman Mike Pennel. That directly led to Garoppolo making one of the worst decisions of the game, an absolute duck down the field in Emmanuel Sanders’ general direction that Breeland easily picked off:

Stonecold and Big Mike with the pressure, Breezy with the pick pic.twitter.com/9G79wL3jyV

— Kansas City Chiefs (@Chiefs) February 3, 2020

Hell, he probably could’ve fair caught it.

Sanders wasn’t open at any point in his route and, had he had time to notice, I highly doubt Garoppolo would’ve even attempted that throw. Thanks to Jones’ quick manhandling and discarding of Person, Jimmy G did not have that time, though. After that interception, the Chiefs’ offense marched right down the field and scored a field goal to take a 10-3 lead.

That was huge, but maybe not as huge as Jones’ second big play against the pass on Sunday.

2. Jones batted down a pass, and it might’ve been the turning point of the game

With 5:26 left in the game, 49ers were trying to protect a 20-17 lead.

San Francisco elected to pass on second-and-5 after 49ers running back Raheem Mostert had rushed for a 5-yard gain. Not what I would’ve done, but the reality is the play did have a great chance of success.

The 49ers had rookie wide receiver Deebo Samuel — who had been an early star on end-arounds and jet sweeps — motion away, with all-world tight end George Kittle in between the numbers and the hash marks to that side. When the ball was snapped, Samuel went out wide as if waiting for a screen pass. Kittle went upfield kinda looking like a blocker, but then he curled inside a couple of yards beyond the sticks. It should have been a relatively easy completion, especially since KC’s defense blitzed on the play and had the 37-year-old edge rusher Terrell Suggs in coverage on Kittle.

Yeah ...

They probably would have succeeded, too, if it weren’t for that meddling Jones. Him jumping up and knocking the pass down may well have changed both teams’ fortunes that night.

On the one hand, if Kittle catches that ball, he is probably getting the ball at least to the 49ers’ 35-yard line, in the middle of the field with the clock still running. That also would’ve meant a new set of downs and more plays to run the clock. Maybe, just maybe, after picking up that first down, 49ers head coach/playcaller Kyle Shanahan would’ve come to his senses and gotten back to running the ball, including giving Samuel another opportunity on an end-around or jet sweep.

(Side note: This is exactly why the criticism of Shanahan not running the football late is more than fair. Even when you call a “good” pass play, there are just so many more variables that go into whether its actually successful than if you run the ball. That is especially true when running the ball is what you do well and best.)

But Jones did knock the pass down and that not only stopped the clock, it also forced the 49ers into trying to throw the ball again on third down. That throw was also incomplete.

In a situation where they were, at least in theory, attempting to salt the clock away, the 49ers ended up punting the ball back to the Chiefs after their drive lasted only a minute. The Chiefs didn’t use a single timeout, which is f’n absurd.

You can at least partially thank Jones for that.

3. Jones’ other batted down pass killed what could’ve been a large 49ers gain

The third big play of the night was another pass that Jones knocked down at the line of scrimmage. Now it was the Chiefs trying to defend their four-point lead with less than two minutes left in the game. This time, it was on a ball meant to go to Samuel in the middle of the field on a route where he broke outside, then back inside. It, also, should’ve been a relatively easy completion.

I don’t know if you’d seen Samuel running with the ball in his hands a lot before the Super Bowl, but if he catches that pass with that much space to run, there really is no telling just how many yards he might’ve picked up. He already had cornerback Charvarius Ward in his rear view, and it appears that Tyrann Mathieu could’ve been shielded off by Kittle up the seam, giving Samuel at least a small lane to turn up field.

That could’ve made things really interesting, considering the 49ers were already at the Chiefs’ 49-yard line. But, once again, they were foiled by one of Jones’ mitts.

He also got his right pinky finger on the second down play as well, but I’m not sure that pass wouldn’t have been picked off if he hadn’t, so I will just mention it and move on, lol. The aforementioned Clark sack came two plays after that.

Game over.

Mind you, back when I played, many moons ago, we actually made fun of guys who knocked down a lot of passes because we thought it was a sign they couldn’t rush the passer. But I have come to appreciate those batted down passes a lot more after I finished playing, especially when a player like Jones is the one doing it.

Jones earned himself a big payday in free agency

I’ve been a Jones fan since back when I was working on his pre-draft breakdown in the spring of 2016. At 6’5 and over 300 pounds, the fact that Jones was as quick as a cat really stood out, and his athleticism was readily apparent on film. The only question I ever had about him was whether he would play hard enough, consistently enough, to be the dominant player he should be.

Four years into his career, I think it’s safe to say he has answered all those questions about his hustle, though.

I knew he was playing his ass off this year, but I admit to being shocked at seeing this graph on my Twitter timeline:

Double team rate as a defensive tackle (x) by pass rush win rate as a defensive tackle (y) for the 2019 regular season. PRWR = rate pass rusher beats blocker in 2.5 seconds. ESPN metrics, NFL Next Gen Stats data. pic.twitter.com/sUCFwARoJi

— Seth Walder (@SethWalder) December 30, 2019

Jones was one of the most double-teamed interior pass rushers this season but still managed to have more success than just about any interior rusher not named Aaron Donald or Grady Jarrett — and Jarrett was double-teamed way less. For him to be playing at a similar level to Donald goes to show how just far Jones has come in maximizing his ridiculous amount of talent.

Jones one-upped himself with how he played in the Super Bowl, which was good timing because he’s set to be a free agent this offseason.

I am not a “cap guy,” so I don’t know what the Chiefs can afford to pay Jones, or if he would be willing to take a “discount” to stay with a team that looks to be built to win, or if cash rules everything around him, cream get the money. What I will say, however, is that whatever amount of money you thought a young Ndamukong Suh was worth in free agency? Go ahead and apply that to Jones if he decides he wants to go to the highest bidder.

Because that should be his value.

In fact, Jones is the pass rusher people always seemed to think Suh was. They both are hellafied power rushers, but Jones has the edge when it comes to quick finesse moves and changeups.

Oh and, stats wise, the sack numbers in their first four years aren’t even close. Suh has only had nine or more sacks once in his career, ever. Jones has already done it twice, including a ridiculous 15.5 sacks he notched last season.

All a young Suh has over Jones is a better motor, but few people have ever had the kind of motor Suh had, and Jones has certainly closed that gap since becoming a pro. I’m just telling you that with his skill level and versatility, any team could build their defense around this Jones guy and be set for many years to come.

Not that he needed an exclamation mark after the start to his career that he’s had, but Chris Jones’ performance this year has certainly provided him with one. His play against the 49ers not only secured his legacy as a Super Bowl champion, but he also likely helped to secure an even bigger bag this spring, as well.

Not bad for one evening’s work, even if his impact did fly a little under the radar for some people.

That’s that I’m here for.

[feckyeslife]

we now return to a dramatic critique of “Four” picking up where we left off. Having just finished The Initiate, I needed to take a long break before coming back to this... writing.

(side note, I somehow skipped the Son and had to go back to read that about 10 pages into the Traitor)

THE SON

- Four waxes a bit poetic about how he’s not Abnegation anymore and it kind of amuses me because he’s not really Dauntless, either. 

- Max comes in to ask/encourage Four into picking Leader. The smoothness of the process makes me feel a lot better about my own Leadership training fic scenes, though the fact that it takes over a year gives me pause because it’s implied in the next section that Eric had given Four orders on how to lead training in that interrum year. So... either trainee-Eric was given some power or he finished it quicker than a year. Or continuity doesn’t matter in this collection of short stories -.- Also he TAKES the role? Whaaaat.

Putting the rest under a cut to save all y’all’s dashboards. But there’s more. So much more.

- Zeke volunteers Four to be on a double date with him and it was the perfect moment to question if Four might have possibly been not-straight, but alas. 

- Alright I know I was a bit tipsy by the end of the last read-through but how have these people already forgotten / not realized that Four came from Abnegation? It feels awkward and forced in this moment bc this is literally like... not even a week after Initiation. Not enough time to have legitimately forgotten to consider that maybe he was an Abnie. 

- The banter about hand-holding is lame and awkward. No 16 year old boys banter about hand-holding, I’m SORRY. 

- Also Shauna’s interest in Zeke is just *yawn* like I don’t care that she’s jealous of this double date.

- Someone was in Four’s apartment and broke a drinking glass. I facepalm and wonder why a single apartment would have its own kitted out kitchen when they have a MESS HALL

- Four’s internal thoughts about Dauntless wisdom of living life without fear are actually very nice. This is the side of him as a protag that would have been interesting because it’s less self-righteous as the rest of his actions and comments in the other books.

(for those just joining us, VRoth stated that originally the series was about Four as a protag and honestly it makes way more sense. And would have allowed Tris to be a very solid side character and *gasp* even a failed love interest to show that the world isn’t always perfect and you don’t always actually work with the girl you ~have love at first sight~ with)

- The training program includes tests to see how quickly they learn and Four - and the narrative - once again one-dimensionally claims that this is an Erudite quality and therefore odd. How freaking hard is it to acknowledge that intelligence is something that the military Leadership would need? Very hard, apparently.

- Max passes out info sheets for them to fill out and it’s like My First Fascism spelled out. Very dystopian and, again, a better cue for the reader than how very straightforward the tension was with Tris’ initiation. A little heavy handed but not terribly so. 

- OKAY HERE AGAIN with the inconsistencies. Earlier I made the comment about him hiding his heritage and it was flavored with OH NO THEY CAN”T KNOW I’M ABNEGATION. Here during the double date, there’s a moment where Four is asked how he met Zeke and if he was a transfer. Four thinks that he doesn’t want people to think he’s uptight and also doesn’t want to cue in about his parentage. But the feeling is so different from earlier. Naturally this means that he just straight up lies and claims to be DB. /sigh

- Nicole is conventionally attractive and as flat as a pancake, character wise. She gets pissed that Four is being a shitty date - he is - but has to walk about because he doesn’t call her pretty. 

VROTH THIS IS NOT HOW TEENAGERS TALK. I’M SORRY BUT WHAT THE FUCK. 

“Personality is much more important that-”

“Than my unsatisfactory looks?”

- Shauna once again is upset that Zeke’s mackin’ on a girl that isn’t her. I’m yawning and bored that this is as dramatic as VRoth thinks the background relationships can get.

- I might actually vomit the next time we’re introduced to a side character whose entire description is just LOOK HOW COLORFUL THEIR HAIR IS AND ALSO SO MANY PIERCINGS!!!!! Sidenote, this was actually Lauren being re-introduced. 

- please please please dont make me read through VRoth trying to describe code. i’ll do anything. no? I have to? fine.

A) Lauren explains shit too fast, for too long, and doesn’t give people paper to even make notes. that’s not teaching that’s torture

B) Eric’s a smug jackwad about already knowing it all and I love him for it even though it’s a dick move. Remember, the last time he and Four interacted was when Four beat the shit out of him after he conceded.

C) Why the fuck would Dauntless be writing their own code to do stuff? I get that you might need to tinker with settings or whatnot, but are we honestly jumping to a world where the program to call up a security feed is something that you have to hand write or piece together to get working?

D) the punctuation that VRoth has Four paying attention to are periods (fine) quotation marks (alright) and backslashes (nope). Not a semicolon? REALLY? What language is she assuming they’re using? 65% of all my code errors ever were misplaced semi-colons or improperly nested loops.

E) apparently the only errors they’re looking for are like Baby’s First Code issues because there’s not a mention of BASIC shit like loops, defining variables, or even having to decipher the logic of any of the programs which is, you know, how you do code review. 

- Ah the intruder has to do with his mother. Alright then. But why the fuck did they knock a drinking glass down? Unless they’re two unrelated break ins. 

- Cameras are everywhere in the world yeah yeah but what about when Edward gets stabbed? Ah yes, getting Peter caught then would have broken the plot so clearly they weren’t in the initiate dorms.

- So here’s where there’s basically confirmation that Eric’s been an Erudite pawn all along. I don’t have to like it, so I won’t. 

- Four waxes on about acknowledging that he’s his father’s son and once again it’s slightly grounding as a character and further drives the knife into my metaphorical back that he’s such an ass in Insurgent.

- Evelyn is totally Jewish in heritage. Curly haired, hooked nose. Mmm. Part of me wants to extrapolate about the outright Christian nature of Abnegation versus the other persecuted people - the Factionless - but I’ll hold off because I’m too tired to do it well.

- Evelyn pulls the same crap about the city changing and people needing to pick a side. It’s classic dystopian YA lit and makes sense if only because we’ve all already read Insurgent and seen the city make those choices. But two years before that all boiled over, its a bit... meh. The dialogue once again is very heavy on crap like “Jeanine Matthews frequents Dauntless headquarters” and other crap that people don’t actually say unless they’re writing something down or making a speech. 

- SINCE WHEN ARE TATTOOS ABOUT DAUNTLESS SUPREMACY? Where is this jump in LOGIC? Ugh ugh ugh the whole Divergents-are-better-than-everyone-bc-we-know-how-to-be-multifacited narrative is horrible and lame. Suddenly there’s active call-outs that people are faction traitors and concerns that even situated Dauntless feel like they need to prove themselves. Where is any of this? It’s all tell and no show beyond the special people like Amar and Four and Tris who have already been made special by the narrative paying attention to them. If we saw someone like Lauren concerning about being “dauntless enough” I would take it with less complaint, but instead it comes off as just WE GOTTA RAMP UP THE TENSION.

- There’s talk again about “if we believe that Dauntless truly is the superior faction” then blah blah blah, Eric’s ideas for training (which on their own make sense to me). Four gets on about the actual idea of choosing values over supremacy like a normal human being. There’s also this assumption that people getting kicked out wouldn’t kind of deserve it - again, it’s a military so freaking AL should not be in it, I’m not sorry. Four makes the assumption that the “small, smart, brave” wouldn’t be able to succeed which really shows that either people aren’t being trained to use their skills - christina did fine as a small, smart, brave girl in fights - or we just needed the casual reminder that Tris and people like Tris are the special ones who manage to survive and shouldn’t have. If I were Four, I would counter Eric’s arguments against the bs supremacy ideas and also support giving proper training and evaluation so that “qualified” doesn’t only mean big and beefy. But, hey, that argument’s tough to make. His arguments hinge on the whole idealism crap and doesn’t touch real goals beyond “take out the knife throwing” which of course isn’t going to impress. 

- Max has Eric leave and actually is a bit... mature in the conversation with Four? He doesn’t talk down to him and it’s rather jarring compared to the earlier conversation. Four still thinks Max just wants someone to control which doesn’t mesh with this conversation or even really with the earliest one of the section. He seemed to genuinely think that Four had solid qualities but dealing with others in power clearly isn’t one of them. Or really, dealing with Eric. 

- Eric gloats, fully in the evil villain role. I’m unimpressed. He works best as Four’s antagonist, though, rather than Tris & Co’s. Another reminder that the direction of the story has always been on Four and his struggles, not Tris’.

- We get acknowledgement that of COURSE Four’s going to be a good teacher because he taught Shauna that one time (because he’s a boy and she’s a girl nevermind the fact that she’s grown up here)

- The section ends with him leaving a message for Evelyn that one day he’ll support her but not yet. After he just had this section rambling about how he chooses the middle path to be himself and find moments of rebellion against the people trying to control him INCLUDING Evelyn. Doesn’t seem very rebellious to yield to the woman who doesn’t care about you as a person, just as a weapon or a tool.

THE TRAITOR

- .”Beatrice. That name is so wrong for her.” I’m like 80% sure that this is the only time i’m gonna agree with him. But also, I feel like i remember him calling her Beatrice in Insurgent sooooo

- Tris was fragile-looking when she first entered Dauntless. Not a great descriptor but not the worst.

- Two years later and he’s still broody mc brooderson. His supervisor in the Control Room reminds him it’s alright to have fun and he literally grumbles under his breath. 

- He get’s Max’s password from the security feed because Max is bad at typing. I almost want to sin that just because even if you suck at typing, you can usually do your password (esp one that’s just numbers) entirely by instinct. But maybe - just maybe - Dauntless rotates passwords and Max just sucks. Either way, meh. 

- Lauren’s part of the technical staff. An interesting (re)discovery [I had read this before realizing I skipped the other part]. She helps him to get a program to mirror Max’s computer under the pretext of a prank on Zeke. I’m a bit befuddled simply because... How would Four ever prank Zeke with a mirroring program? Like, they just watch security feeds and maybe write reports? I also feel like it reflects even more poorly on Dauntless that they’re cool with pranks like that. But, then again, Dauntless is a bunch of morons according to VRoth’s POV so, I guess I can’t be too surprised. 

- The conversation /chewing out by Gus is SO stilted and awkward. We already got the info dump about taking feeds out of rotation but here we get literally the same explanation as Four’s defense. A good edit would have eliminated the awkwardness. Also, Four getting called out for being shitty at his job amuses me because from Tris’s POV in the other books, he can do no wrong. 

- Four gets Edward and Will mixed up in his head. These are his kids for the past x weeks and he doesn’t know who the “blonde erudite” is? Sideyeing so hard.

- Max and Four duke it out verbally over the stabbing as Four insists that it’s Eric’s fault bc the kids are so wound up. And Max gets some niiice jabs in about how Four could have a better leg to stand on if a) he stopped insulting every superior officer in his path and b) didn’t back down on the leadership role. Also a jab that, hey, you know who’s 100% at fault? The person who STABBED EDWARD!

- Ugghhh Tris is Dauntless but the faction “isn’t really Dauntless anymore.” Dude you’ve been here 2 years. You refuse to work with the current system to help it to teach the real values. Like here, where you refuse to call Tris out for insubordination - or at least WARN her that she’s getting away with it - and earlier complained about how you got bitched out for stopping last year’s fights. Figure out how to teach real lessons Mr. “Great Teacher” while following the letter of the writing. 

- He also pulls the “i’m hard on Tris because she can take it” line and I’m unamused. He had the time here to actually say what he wanted to say or at least a version of it that isn’t tempered by being a dick like he claimed ten seconds ago he wasn’t with her because he “respects her.” The amount of flip-flopping could fill a beach.

- he touches her back and it addles his mind. Either his balls are that blue or VRoth is laying on the one-sided attraction a bit thick. 

- I don’t remember this scene being this long in Divergent, but at least Tris is getting credit for being perceptive about things. Even if that perception is just to put Four on a pedestal of “so much better than Eric/Dauntless.” There’s also more detail about how training had ACTUALLY changed to previously include padding and not bare-knuckle boxing. Six years ago. I’m 200 pages into this short story and this is the FIRST empirical evidence that Dauntless had changed before Four got there beyond early Fear Landscaping.

- Tris calls Eric jealous and Four spends a hot second considering that Eric might actually have motives and emotions beyond cocky. It’s the best I’ll get and I’ll take it.

- Two years into Dauntless as Four “tries a Dauntless expression” to tell Tris that she doesn’t look like she’s been crying. Two years. What a friggen outsider. Again, makes sense with the previous storyline but not really in the actual story because, gee, if he’s such a good Dauntless why is he an outsider? (well because Dauntless - even the non-Erics or Maxes - is horrible, don’t’cha know UGH)

- He discovers the plans for the attack on Abnegation and claims how this makes sense because of how much Max and Jeanine hate the Abnegation. Far as we’ve seen, Max doesn’t give a single shit about Abnegation, but hey, it wouldn’t do to have a villain who didn’t hate where the protag came from. 

- Please lets note how even in these scenes, Tris has displayed no actual return affection towards Four’s tiny attempts at connecting with her. It’s all about Four.

- He goes to mommy dearest about the danger of Max and Jeanine’s plans. It’s regrettably the only logical thing to do. And mommy doesn’t care. The only interesting thing about this is that this is the only scene that doesn’t present the attack on Abnegation as an attack on the poor innocent Christians. They’re shown as liars and backstabbers, supporting Marcus rather than good hearted folks helping the Divergent. It explains Four’s desire to back his mother in Insurgent rather than the rest of the city. 

- We hit one moment of Tris actually responding to Four’s kindness which I feel like I need to emphasize is the only time that he’s actually said nice shit without being a tool before or after it. Weird how girls don’t like that.

- Earlier Four couldn’t remember who the Blone Erudite transfer was but he can tell from the shape of a hooded figure that Al’s the third attacker. Mmmkay.

- UGH he hates the fights but he doesn’t resent how Tris beat Molly into a pulp and beyond because she’s got tits and Eric doesn’t. It’s as simple as that. Sorry, not sorry.

- Four’s internal dialogue: I need to find someone I can trust. This girl is cute and she also beats people into a pulp when she’s upset but this will never happen again and any further rage from her will result in me telling her to stop and be a better person but this is what connects us right now so it’s okay. 

- Four makes a pathetic attempt to consider reporting the assault to Eric who uses it to rightly call out Four’s inability to control his kids. Then Eric goes over the villain line again and says it’s a way to tell who the strong and the weak are. Yawn.

- Holy balls, Shauna and Zeke get brought in to be Four’s muscle and scare Peter. I get why we never saw this through Tris’ POV but you THINK it could have maybe been mentioned? Also we get a tiny glimpse into Dauntless culture as they threaten to ruin Peter’s reputation forever, etc etc. Not that any of this really matters because all Dauntless are dumb, remember? Only the special main characters matter. 

- Zeke also makes a vague insinuation about Al falling into the chasm and I’m suddenly a bit astounded as the next scene is, well, Al’s body being dragged up. Four realizes he’s been a shitty instructor and a choir of angels sing “of course, you idiot”

- There’s the scene of Tris and Four after Al’s death where he attempts again to give her half answers and sideways comments that only serve to frustrate her and me. And the stupid line about pushing her until she breaks because he thinks how it doesn’t mean he wants to hurt her but it’s so CLEARLY not his actual goal in literally any of their interactions, even from his POV! Where does this line come from? His imagination?

- We flip-flop again, this time about how most of Abnegation IS actually good don’tchaknow

- There’s the re-do of the fear landscape where we go back to other-book canon where jumping off the side is all well and good because you don’t need to have a perfectly logical reaction to the landscape. Mmm. Tris is also like 80 times better than him, still. Just sayin’

- I’m again reminded of how quickly they go from one sided to barely flirting in the fear sim to touching casually and him kissing her forehead. All those subtle intimacies are just way too sudden. Ugh.

- His decision to go to Marcus is driven by the desire to protect her and I’m once again a bit nauseated by the idea that Tris has to be protected by someone. It makes sense for his character and as much as I’m nitpicking this story, it’s a better, clearer story arc than Tris’. I love Tris to death, but the story of the trilogy is not hers. It’s her dealing with the fall of Abnegation and then tumbling into Four’s family drama. Everything works WAY better from his POV (with tweaking and with her breaking up with him because I say yet again HE IS SUCH A DICK IN INSURGENT)

anywho i’m skipping the last three “bonus scenes” because I need to take a break and also not kill myself.

[thepalegoldmoon]

All 60 asks~!

get to know me, pick some numbers. 1. selfieNone ATM, but you’ll see my face when I con update, (pro procrastinating on that haha)
2. what would you name your future kids?I’m trying to get a new baby Guinea pig from a friend and I’m gonna try to name it Roadie, if that shows anything haha (I’m never gonna have human children, but other animals probably haha)
3. do you miss anyone?Tbh is this even a question? When don’t I miss someone haha, yeah.. Kinda tbh
4. what are you looking forward to?Cons, moving out, making more money, just chilling with the only person I ever really hang out with anymore haha
5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?Yeah like one or two people, one and probably the most important one and the one of them being the cool ass mf who sent me this ask c;
6. is it hard for you to get over someone?Depends on alot of variables recently 
7. what was your life like last year?Lonely, terribly quite, have really no one, maybe like two people, and they kinda just became by closest and probably most reliable (in the best kinda ways) friends I’ve ever had..
8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?Yeah I think? I bottle up alot of my emotions. So when I get annoyed enough to cry. It’s that one thing that sent me over the breaking point and everything just happens in one big messy fit. It’s gross. •-•
9. who did you last see in person?Besides my immediate family (I see those annoying fucks everyday so they don’t really count I love them but eh) ummm I think it was this really cool guy, his name is Jay, I tag him in a ton of shit, yeah he’s really awesome!~ and my fave, but yeah I saw him for a con and it was amazing!~
10. are you good at hiding your feelings?Idk some people say they can’t tell certain emotions. Or they don’t notice them, others say the exact opposite, it all depends on the people and emotions
11. are you listening to music right now?Nope shockingly, I’ve been jamming out to my old childhood anthems these past few days haha
12. what is something you want right now?Probably to just chill with someone, just kinda cuddle with someone and watch movies and conspiracy YouTube videos tbh haha maybe do some other cool shit with? Idk but that would be nice haha, and money to pay off some people haha,
13. how do you feel right now?Kinda lonely, a little tired, but over all calm and just veggin out doing nothing haha
14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? Two weeks ago I gave my friend Amanda a hug good bye, I ran into her at the fireworks show down the street from my apartment
15. personality descriptionYikes, a mess. I’m a scrappy cinnamon roll with a low key Lex Luther complex 😈Kinda explains why I want to legally change my name to Alyxxander… Hmmm haha
16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?Tbh yeah, there’s lots of shit I’d love to say but don’t, wether for their protection or my own, sometimes some things are better left for better times or just never said
17. opinion on insecurities.They’re shit and we all hate them tbh but as long as you can find ways to get past them and have friends that support you and beat those insecurities down rather than make them worse, all is good!~ 
18. do you miss how things were a year ago?I don’t really know, like maybe some things, but tbh not much is really too different from last year. There’s a few things different hut tbh idk if that’s a good or bad thing anymore. I don’t really know haha
19. have you ever been to New York?State: yes, a few times, passing through and I’ve been to Buffalo.City: passed through but didn’t stay. I’d love to go one day though
20. what is your favourite song at the moment?hooked on a feeling (I make snapchat memes from that song haha,)
21. age and birthday?18 and May 28th!~
22. description of crush.A have a few key words. L E G S. E Y E S. S M I L E. has the tiniest flatest butt, but I love it and think it’s real nice!~ ( Tbh doesn’t have the flatest ass out of all my friend group, but put of my closet friend group does XD) and once it’s relevant again H A I R. (( gee golly guys, I wonder who I described???)) haha
23. fear(s)Hahah many. Mostly personal ones but one I’ll be alright making a public one. Never being able to be there for my friends or those I care most about in any way at all.. Or to constantly cause them pain in some way.. 
24. height5'5/ 5'6? It’s been a while since I last got my height checked 
25. role modelProbably Chris Evens, that gorgeous man, he’s the true captain frickin America 
26. idol(s)I have alot but I can’t think of any of them ATM…
27. things i hateMany things.. But tbh just when people take credit for shit other people do, when someone bitches about how they should get something when they’ve literally done jack shit to get it, or when people act like a total douche just because something won’t go their way, wether it be a giant thing or the tiniest fucking thing…
28. i’ll love you if…Enjoy my forms of affections, I enjoy lots of hugs and cuddling kinda stuff.. Haha that or if we can do cool shit together and just be open enough to connect on some form of level. You gotta have the vibes man, ya know?
29. favourite film(s)The Danish Girl Lots of horror movies Any Tim Burton film The crow 
30. favourite tv show(s)Voltron Steven UniverseAnd a bunch of old cartoons from when I was a kidEspecially invader ZimOmfg that was my shit 
31. 3 random facts1.) I’m complete total trash, I named my most recent animals after overwatch characters, I have 6 now, 3 Guinea pigs (Dva(f) Aki(m) Oreo(m)), 2 gerbils (Mercy(f) Widow(f)), and a mouse he’s Junkmouse he’s such a Sweetie!~ and he’s teeny!~That awesome guy that sent the ask, Jay, yeah his idea with naming junkmouse and then I just kinda couldn’t help but keep it going cause it just fit too well, soon I’m gonna run out of names I know it haha

2.) I feel like this should go out, cause this wasn’t on the ask lost but it should be hahamy favorite color is blue, but the color I feel with is usually yellow or orange

3.) I’m really into witchcraft and things associated, and I want to get better at it haha
32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?Ehhhhh, even cause I can only think of the three people I converse with the most or at all, I have one friend who identifies as female, another who identifies as female(I think) idk she’s a all over the place, and then one who identifies as male, so it’s kinda even but leans more towards females
33. something you want to learnMany things, mostly how to be a better friend, every language I can get for free on my Rosetta stone app, and ASL, 
34. most embarrassing momentEhhhhh there’s two but they’re insanely personal haha
35. favourite subjectArt. Science. Spiritual/religious shit. Sociology. Animals. Games. Shows. Conspiracy shit. Scary spooky shit. haha (I’m not in school anymore so these are just random things I talk alot about haha)
36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?1.) like to visit Asia or at least one other country over seas2.) get better at art or photography and maybe make a job out of it3.) just make it through life and enjoy what I can about it
37. favourite actor/actressActors: Johnny Depp, Allan Rickman, Eddie Redmaine.Actress: Helena Bonham Carter
38. favourite comedian(s)Adam Grabowski (seriously check this guy out, he’s a riot, the Disney princesses skit he does, one of the best, if not check out the board games one, 10/10)
39. favourite sport(s)Swimming and hiking are what I count as sports and I barely even do those tbh.. Sleeping and see how long I can stay in my house uncovered by society are my true sports. Tbh I went out for fireworks, and a con so far this summer, I’m doing great haha.
40. favourite memoryOoo idk any right now haha
41. relationship statusSingle Pringle, but I’m stick in the can, cause I ain’t ready to mingle. I got my eyes set on someone even if it won’t happen. But it’s nice to try at least c:
42. favourite book(s)I used to have one but I can’t think of it off the top of my head, I used to be hella into the Percy Jackson series though, Rick’s a good author haha 
43. favourite song everYikes, I don’t know dude haha
44. age you get mistaken forEhhhhh either 14/15 or like 20/21 so not entirely off but like I’m either hella legal or hella illegal XD
45. how you found out about your idolI don’t really know, 
46. what my last text message saysI K R ! ! ! ! ! ! LIKE SEE!!!
47. turn onsMmm not sure, but I’m up to find out physical ones c; haha but in all seriousness, just consent, respect, and open minded vibes. Just of I get the right vibes off you.
48. turn offsI don’t get the right vibes off you.Really extremely bratty kids. Rich or not. Just bratty ass kids. And people who have no shame or humility 
49. where i want to be right nowTbh, my own apartment, either chilling with a close ass bud, or maybe traveling around, just somewhere else that seems more exciting or comforting.
50. favourite picture of your idolN/a
51. starsignGemini!~ haha
52. something i’m talented atI’ve heard??? I’m good??? at art??? And then I have negative ones but Imma keep those put of here ahaha, but I’m good at art??? And cooking??? /baking??? From what I’m told haha
53. 5 things that make me happy1.) My pets2.) Not being bothered when in playing my games/ When my house only has yours truly scurrying around the place3.) food, and chilling with a good show or movie4.) getting to chill with my friends and do cool ass shit,5.) getting the chance to give cheesy ass affections, whether it’s platonic or not, I LIKE TO SNUG ALRIGHT!?!?!? SNUGGINS ARE WHAT MAKE THIS WORLD GO FUCKING ROUND MAN LIKE SHIT.(Imma throw in a sixth one cause this is important)6.) getting to get turnt with some good friends and the Devils sweet green grass when I have the chance, (GONNA FOR MY MED CARD SOON B, HMU I’M EXCITE)
54. something thats worrying me at the momentTwo things, money (always), screwing shit up beyond the point of no return with my closest friend.. 
55. tumblr friendsI got like three? One of which is the only one I ever tag, or talk to haha, that’s this cool dude at the very top of this post here, yeah him!~ that little stud!~ c:
56. favourite food(s)All?????????
57. favourite animal(s)Ehhhhh, all?????????But mostly cats, and my pets haha 
58. description of my best friendEhh mm, Well I’ll do my two closest friends ATM, Ok one super chill dude, described him a bit at the top, he’s got LEGS alright, and those eyes, fucking end me haha, but yeah, he’s really awesome, but hell he’s super complex, and that’s probably the coolest thing about him, he’s on a whole bunch of other levels my guy

Then the second one, she’s cool, she’s pretty quite, but low key really adventurous and pretty open minded and grounded, but she’s a cancer. So there’s that… Haha she’s reliable tho, she’s been there since kindergarten, so I feel bad not giving her a little credit.
59. why i joined tumblrMostly for my childhood friend Liz, but I didn’t know how to use this god forsaken site, but I found a new reason to back in like sophomore/ junior year, cause again Jay XD. I needed my daily fix of memes and this guys got the best quality memes alright? He is the meme king!!!~ XD 
60. ask me anything you wantN/a

Thanks my guy!!!~ it was fun answering all the asks!~ (even if I lost them like five or six times haha)

[thefrostfalgar]

Day 7: Seventh

It was not my intention to post everything I have in one go but seems like work will keep my hands full until next few hours so I’ll just give it all for Kid. 

also this might a little bit OOC and contain a little fluff and everything but well...

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUSTASS KID!!!

S for Seventh.

Seventh life time and still fall for each other.

It was one of a good day for Kid’s Pirate alliance.

They had just won over a battle against a rather huge pirate. Not in yonko caliber, but that still mattered. Not only they made it to the newspaper─again, even though they didn’t make it to the highlights as the first time they announced the alliance. But still, strategically, it was a good enough move to strike fear to other group. That added to the reputation that Kid had sank two Big Mom Pirate’s subordinate ships and get away with it.

So it was natural that they threw a party in the island they called safe house.

Three smaller boats had arrived from stocking booze and food from three nearby island. Kid didn’t know whether they buy or rob those. It didn’t matter. What matters now is to party hard, get over the forthcoming hangover, then get back up because in this part of the world, who knew will come up next.

They had partied for at least two days and one night now. Kid didn’t even remember. He only drank from his bottle of wine, chugging and listening to a joke so lame, he couldn’t help but laughing his ass off.

After the random dance, random fake fights among each other (some turned into actual fight), random drumming duet performance by drunk Killer and Apoo, and the poorly executed standup comedy by Apoo’s men, somehow the party had turned into some kind of foretelling by also drunk Hawkins. Kid didn’t know how Hawkins could manage to drunk─he always thought that the stoic man will be the only sober one, judging from his indifference almost in any situation. But well, maybe he couldn’t resist some fun too. And even though Kid sure that he’s just as drunk as he is now, Hawkins was still the only one that was somewhat composed enough not to randomly burst out a laugh on any poor joke thrown out by someone just to keep this party interesting.

Their men was too excited, asking Hawkins to foresee their future and their life in general. They laughed upon bad predictions, mocking and teasing each other on how they deserve such bad luck, and cheering over good predictions. Whichever result comes up, they drink anyway. Either to soothe the bad luck, or to celebrate the good luck that is still to come. Kid started to think that these whole fortune-telling thing is more to keep the party interesting and for them to find another reason to drink above anything else.

After a while, they seemed to run out of people who’s interested to have their predictions. But then Wire shouted.

“Hawkins, do Captain’s prediction!”

The other guys cheered to the idea, pushing Kid closer to Hawkins while echoing what Wire said in the beginning. Hawkins only grinned, while he shuffled his card once more and placed it on the strand of the straw from his devil fruit ability. “Eustass Captain Kid,” he started, while pulling cards after one another. “You’re gonna have a bad luck in the near future.”

The guys roared with laughter. Some cursing at Hawkins, telling that their Captain’s bad luck will result in Hawkins’ bad luck too, given that he’s the best chance for them to get away from any bad things that would come to their path. Hawkins rolled his eyes, gulping drink from his bottle before continuing.

“Hm? This is your seventh incarnation. Although, even in your previous six lives, you are always associated with metal or magnet in one way or another.”

Again, a roar of laughter, with Kid’s crew shouting “that’s my captain” or simply “Pirate King! Pirate King! Pirate King!”

“Can’t remember any of it,” Kid laughed.

Hawkins ignored the shouting and the laughter, while Kid only laughed and gulping the remaining of his bottle. That settled, Kid would drink to every prediction Hawkins read out of him. Not that he would stop if he’s running out of predictions anyway.

The stoic blond opened another card, sticking it into another strand of straw. “Although, you always know, and attracted to someone in the previous lives. It’s like you were on the same line of life,” he stopped for a little bit, eyes focusing on his cards and for a moment, Kid thought that Hawkins suddenly sobered up from all the alcohol running in his system. That’s very unlikely, by the way. Not with his power and abilities. “It is said that you even know and connected to this guy in this life also.”

Kid choked at that words. His face heated up, stomach scrunched while he gripped the neck of his bottle even tighter. This time, he’s also jolted up to full consciousness. His body all of a sudden have the ability to clear up all the fog caused by the hallucinogen he put to his system.

“That gotta be Killer!” someone from Apoo’s crew yelled, followed by the agreeing voices of all three crew. It’s very likely, Kid thought. Killer was his friend from day one. The guy who was always by his side, having his back and vice verca. But Kid got the feeling that Killer is not who the prediction mean.

In fact, Kid might have an idea of who it might be.

“Don’t think so. The connection is similar to friendship but not quite…”

“Okay, that’s enough!” Kid gulped the remaining of his liquor, trying to get the foggy mind back. He clearly knew who the prediction meant. He clearly knew what he would say next, because in fact, he had heard that kind of prediction before.

But Hawkins just wouldn’t stop. Just like Kid, he sensed a little bit dejavu in this prediction. He was rather obsessed with foretelling. He did that since he was young, and did it almost every day. Small chance he would remember every prediction, since for every result told, it could change based on the change of decision. But it occurred to him that he had read this prediction before─or something similar. Not to Kid, of course. Kid wouldn’t asked something like this voluntarily when he’s sober. His defiance made it harder for Hawkins to read him secretly. So no, this is not only belonged to Kid.

“Funny,” Hawkins said. With his drunken state, he could only touch the tip of his memory. He then flipped the card for Kid to see. “This is the next card that appeared.”

Kid didn’t have to see the damn card. He didn’t even bother to wait the card to fully flip in his direction before he snatched the card, whipping the rest down along with the straw strands that held them. “Party’s over,” he stood and announced, much in annoyance than anything else. “Get your ass back to work or I will throw you all to the sea!” he continued, throwing his bottle to the stone until it shattered to make his point, then storming out inside his safe house. Most of his men were automatically stilled, while the men from other crew booing him for being a party pooper. Kid didn’t care at all. He continued to storm out, trying to hold his liquor in his stomach while every cell of him just wanted to puke it all over. Fucking Hawkins. Fucking predictions. Why did he agreed to it the first time? Why didn’t he remember it the first time?

Oh, right. Because he was drunk.

Kid smashed things in his reach till they’re broken, and repelled every metal things he lay eyes on. Kid balled his human fist hard, burying his painted black nails to his palm until it hurts. On his mechanical appendage, he crushed the card that was the main reason of his fury.

He closed his eyes, trying to resist the memory crawling up to his consciousness, demanding to be remembered. But the pitch black darkness offered by his eyelids didn’t bring peace or a sense of security. Instead, the memory won. They painted themselves on the black surface perfectly. His drunken state didn’t help to block it. If anything, it helps the memory to come out as vivid as the day Kid captured them and stored them in his brain.

There’s a heavy monsoon that blew leaves off the trees and causing flood near the port. Then a pair of slate grey eyes with metallic gleam, half lidded by exhaustion and the remnants of lust from their previous activity.

“One more island, then we’ll arrived in Sabaody,” he said softly, almost as if he’s mumbling in his sleep. His lean fingers─the one that didn’t have tattoo over the knuckles, ghosting on Kid’s sweaty pale skin.

“One more chance, then,” Kid said. “Let me say it again─”

“The answer is still no, Eustass-ya,” the man said. “Heart Pirates will not be your subordinate, nor form an alliance with your crew when clearly, we have different vision on the outcome.”

“You’re crazy if you think you can get away with that plan of yours. You’re playing with damn underground, Trafalgar. You don’t know how big it is.”

“Like your plan is any better,” the man, Trafalgar Law of The Heart Pirates, said. “My plan is not even complete yet. There are variables I still reconsider depending on how the situation will turn up. With a little patience, I will get there. We will get there,” he stopped his fingers on Kid’s, rubbing the chipped black nail polish. “If you’re agreed to ally with me. We can beat them. Doflamingo, Kaido.”

Kid laughed half-heartedly. “The answer is still no, Trafalgar. I don’t want to be involved in your clever schemes. Monster with too many limbs is the monster easier to take down. So many things can go wrong.”

“But charging directly with so little preparation?” Law challenged.

“We managed to do it earlier,” Kid grinned. He leaned closer to Trafalgar, the top of his crooked nose ghosting over his sweat-covered skin. But neither bother to close the little gap between them. The mood had changed, ruined. Both dislike each other’s rejection, but neither made the effort to step down from their respective position.

“So we’ll go our separate ways, then,” Trafalgar said─more like an announcement. A challenge for war.

Kid paused for a moment too long. He felt the other’s voice had dissolved too deep into the silence, poisoning the room with something that tasted as bitter as betrayal. “Yeah,” Kid finally replied. He closed the gap between them and peck on Trafalgar’s lips. That declaration was so wrong, was so painful that he decided to savor every little things he can taste while they’re still present. “We’ll be enemies once more.”

“And will stay like that forever,” Trafalgar said. Another words with the bitter taste. Kid pulled himself away, refusing to breathe any of that shit anymore.

Then, silence ruled again. Only the sound of nature howling outside, wiping everything that gets in the way. Infiltrating the room with its destructive power and destroying whatever weak connection they had had.

Out of nowhere, Law broke the fragile silence with his soft chuckle. Kid glanced at him, raising the nonexistent eyebrow to ask.

“So I guess that’s it, then,” he muttered, more to himself. Before Kid could give any response, Law tilted his head to the other, grey metallic eyes met amber. “You know, before I got to the Grand Line, I met Hawkins-ya. We managed not to attack each other, and even had a little friendly chat.”

Kid couldn’t imagine how Trafalgar could make any conversation at all with Hawkins. The Doc was not the chatty type, and Hawkins is a stoic man­─even that reputation was well known long before Kid met him. How did they communicate? Through eyes and sighs?

“He offered me interesting prediction,” Law continued, this time he managed to make Kid snickered.

“You believe in that kind of stuff, now?”

“Not really. While foretelling is an absurd concept unable to be explained by human logic, what he said about me was quite interesting. Do you not want to hear?”

Kid didn’t answer, knowing too damn well that the raven haired captain only asking to make his words more dramatic. Law didn’t exactly looking for his answer nor permission.

Law turned his head from him. “He said that this is my seventh incarnation of life,” he started. “The other might still going on somewhere in the parallel world, or have happened in the past, maybe the world before this…”

“I’m not stupid, Trafalgar. I know what incarnation is,” Kid cut through the other’s words. He had had enough of Law’s smartass attitude today.

Law chuckled again. “Who would’ve guessed?” he teased Kid, but he continued anyway. “Well, he said that in all six incarnations, I always got attached to the same person. A person that I share a deep connection with. Not quite like friendship. But more,” he shrugged, refusing to say the word that they both know and (much to Kid’s annoyance) they both feel. Law then leaned closer to Kid, pecking his skin in a soft, quick kisses before continuing. “You know what card appeared next?”

Kid didn’t want to know. He couldn’t cope with the idea of foretelling, or stuff like that. Not especially in his current state, where his chest was heaved by disappointment, and his mind scrambled from the fact that there are strong possibility that they will not be this close anymore in the future. The declaration had crushed Kid mentally, even though he wouldn’t admit that.

He felt so stupid for ever letting this man get into his skin.

But he turned anyway, offering a little interest to the smaller man.

“The beast card,” Law said. “Always a beast. He shuffled the cards multiple times, but it was always a beast─the kind with raw power and strategic thinking to match. And this beast always attract me like magnet. I’m quoting him down to every letter here.”

Kid paused for a moment, too stunned with the other’s words before bursting out a series of laughter. It’s ridiculous not to. Law stared at him indifferently, as if he didn’t expect any other reaction other than what Kid pulled now.

“I was just saying,” he said.

“Who’re ye kidding? You never were just saying,” Kid said, laughing again before muffled it down. “If you think that such cheesy shit will change my mind, Trafalgar, then tough shit. You make yourself a fool for nothing.”

“It was not my intention,” Law said, turning his face from Kid. “Only stating a fact. Foretelling is something we can’t comprehend, so does reincarnation. But since it was there and it matched the situation, perhaps it is more than just a prediction. Perhaps there are science behind it that we have yet to acknowledge. Fire was once considered magic too, you know.”

Kid muffled his laughter, shaking his head as he ruffled Law’s raven hair. “You know, you’re almost cute right now. I could kiss you.”

The raven haired pirate only rolled his eyes on Kid, then their conversation officially ended. Their mouths were too busy trying to dominate each other in a lazy makeout session. They were too tired to do anything more, so they had to be satisfied with it before they both fell back asleep.

When Kid woke up the next day, Law was already gone. There were almost no trace of him; no vivre card, no denden mushi, nothing. Only the smell of him, faint on the sheets and thick on Kid’s nostrils.

The next time they met each other, fought side by side in Sabaody, Law had become completely stranger. Still lack of manner, but way too distant. Untouchable. He did help save his life, of course, and stating facts that Kid too ignorant to notice about Batholomew Kuma─who turned out is a robot. But it felt different. Law felt different. It felt like the Doc had scrubbed the smallest remnants of their time together away. It felt like he, who confessed his attraction to Kid, now changed his nature and repel him. 

And Kid was okay with it, or so he thought. He kept pushing the thought of that day on Sabaody to the corner of his mind, beating it down with the fights or the machines he built. He thought he won. He thought he managed to forget that doc and every inch of him that made Kid’s guard down. But no, of course not. The memories never fade. They never go anywhere or even decreased in number. They were never forgotten. Every second with him. Every touch. Every kiss. They were always there, hiding in the back of his mind for a while. Waiting to attack him in his vulnerable state. Like right now.  

The red head opened his eyes in shock when he heard the small series of footsteps behind him. Not Killer, of course. He was too heavy to make those light steps. So Kid turned, and he didn’t surprised at all to see Hawkins there.

“I haven’t finished reading your predictions.”

Kid wanted to hear more. He wanted to hear the continuation of Trafalagar’s words that day. The fate written in the series of card. What will become of them? Second chances are rare, and yet right here, right now, Kid was presented with one. He has the chance to know about what will happen in their seventh incarnation. Will there another after this one? Will they still attached to each other? If all the pirate game over and one comes out as a king, will Kid and Law picked up where they left off? Will they found each other again before death claimed their life?

His mind was heavy with memory and the burning feeling of alcohol. But Kid knew what he wanted. “Don’t need to hear that. Don’t want to.”

“Whatever, Kid,” the stoic blond said. Like Kid, he had been shaken up from his drunken state, and both had turned into angry drunk right now. One step, and there might be a useless, unwanted fight. “But I need my Heart card back.”