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levans44 · 1 year ago

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Tipsy, smutty headcanons w/ cevans characters (pt. 1)

(aka: how steve and frank would fuck you after a few drinks)

Steve:

Steve’s never been one for PDA—nearly five months since you’ve started ‘going steady,’ but he’s still so polite about touching you, always keeping his hands to himself when you’re out together in public.

But all that changes with a few sips of Asgardian mead at an Avengers soirée, which gives him a high he hasn’t had the luxury of feeling since 1941.

It’s that point in the night when the party’s starting to wind down—just a small circle of friends gathered around Tony’s living room, jostling about who’s worthy enough to lift Thor’s hammer.

You’re sat next to Steve on the far end of the couch, amused by the group’s shenanigans. You laugh along at all the right cues, chin in hand as you butt in with a witty comment here and there. Meanwhile, Steve can’t focus on anyone else but you, eyes zeroing in on your smile, the way those red lips stretch around the rim of your glass. The soft curves of your body under that little black dress as you cross your legs, leaning innocently into his side.

With your attention still on the rest of the group, the alcohol encourages him to venture out a little. Careful fingers skim across the top of your knee, a quick brush of his calloused knuckles against your thigh.

You miss it the first few times, but when his hand starts to inch closer and closer up the hem of your dress you turn to look at him, brows raised. You immediately notice the difference in his energy—eyes relaxed, head resting against the back of the couch as a lazy smile ghosts his soft lips.

Steve, you okay? You murmur away from the group, head cocked to one side.

Hmm? mmhm. He’s barely nodding, clearly distracted by something else.

You frown, about to follow up, when a loud crash from the group makes you jump—Tony’s ingenious plans to lift the hammer using the suit had backfired (literally), the propulsion from his glove blasting him all the way across the room.

The whole group starts groaning at the damage of the crash, and that’s when you feel Steve’s grip on your knee suddenly tighten. With everyone else distracted, he leans forward, hot breath teasing the shell of your ear as he whispers:

Can we go home?

You’re a little wide-eyed and breathless when it finally sinks in. One look at the way his tongue darts out to swipe at his bottom lip, his eyes shamelessly dragging down the outlines of your dress, and you’re shouting some incoherent excuse about an early morning to the rest of the group, grabbing his hand, and dragging his ass out of there.

He can’t keep his hands off of you in the back of the Uber, and as soon as the apartment door closes shut, he sleuths off all pretense of modesty, any sliver of chivalry he was holding onto at the party.

Steve, what’s gotten into you? Is this that stuff you were drinking at the party?

You’re laughing because he can’t seem to get you out of your dress fast enough, painfully hard beneath you as you run your fingers through his tussled hair, straddling him on the couch.

Dunno. haven’t…

He huffs out a breath, brows furrowed, pupils blown wide.

…haven’t ffelt like this in a while.

Hands dragging up and down your sides, his lips worship every inch of your body. And you’re pretty sure your heart stops beating the moment he leans up to your ear, murmuring oh-so-gently:

Want you to ride me.

Please.

Brand fucking new, for Steve to voice his needs like that. You pull back, resting a hand against his chest, and he stares up at you like you’re the only person he’s ever known, completely exposed and defenseless. His heart thumps erratically under your fingertips—a reminder of his mortality, that he’s still just a man. Your man.

You keep him underneath you all night, teasing mercilessly until he’s a groaning, panting mess underneath you—cheeks flushed, hips bucking, nails gripping at the upholstery. He can’t do anything but take it, head rolling against the back of the couch as you bounce up and down on his cock, grinding slow and hard, coming to a complete halt before speeding back up.

And he’s grinning like an idiot the whole time.

F-fuck, you feel… you feel so good, a-always so good.

God, I love you.

He’s a stuttering mess when you finally let him come, a string of broken syllables that spell out your name.

When he rushes up to kiss you, you grin against his mouth, closing a gentle hand around his neck. Your index finger slides over to his pulse point, just to the right of his Adam’s apple, tapping in time with the rhythm of a heart that only beats for you.

Frank:

Frank drinks when he’s pissed. And today’s just been… one of those days. Repair went south on a boat he’s been working on for weeks, and he was called into Mary’s school (for the third time this month) because she’d snuck her laptop in her bag and got into a fight over it at recess.

He’s just dropped Mary off to stay at Roberta’s (after a lengthy conversation about ‘keeping that damn laptop at home’). On the drive back, he’s gripping the steering wheel hard enough to leave indents because all he can think about right now is you, you, you.

He returns to an empty house, and it takes him a few bottles of liquid courage before he’s shakily looking up your name in his short list of contacts, texting you five simple words:

Can you come over tonight?

Like a dog to a whistle, you’re there in under 10.

He yanks open the door after the first knock, his lips swallowing your soft greeting as he kisses you fiercely, wasting no time as he pulls you into his bedroom.

Calloused hands drag down your hips, squeezing your ass before he slides your jeans off, pushing you onto the bed. Kissing his way up your neck, lips hovering over your jaw as heavy breaths warm up your skin.

Frank, you alright? W-what’s going on?

You slow him down, fingers grasping at the short hairs on his nape.

He nods against the crook of your neck, pulling back with a quiet sigh.

Yeah, m’fine, I just….

He’s never been great with words, but the familiar strain in his eyes tells you all you need to know. Cupping his face in both hands, you pull him back down, and his grateful lips respond to yours with fervor. His arm moves south, palm warm and heavy against your sex as he cups your mound. Drags his fingers against the wet patch on your panties until you’re arching into his touch and mewling against his mouth.

He’s desperate too, practically throbbing by the time he hastily shucks his boxers down and reaches for a condom in the bedside drawer. His hands are shaking, unable to tear his eyes away from you—your naked form sprawled on top of his sheets, fingers drawing lazy circles over your clit as you smile up at him.

And when he finally sinks into your heat, it’s the first time in days the noise in his brain goes silent.

He fills his mind, instead, with images of you.

Your coquettish grin, delicate lashes fluttering against the tops of your cheeks as you blink up at him.

I’m all yours, baby.

Whatever you want.

You bring his hand up to your face, rubbing your cheek against his palm. Soft, pink lips mold around the tip of his thumb as you suck gently, circling your tongue over the tip, and it sends him over the edge.

With one of your legs hooked over his shoulder, he drives into you, deep. Hits that one spot inside you that’s got your pretty eyes rolling into the back of your head.

Fuck, yes. Right there, don’t stop.

Shit—m’not, not gonna last.

Let go for me, baby, I've got you.

He cums with a low groan, collapsing forward to bury his face in the crook of your neck as he bottoms out. When the aftershocks pass, you let him stay there for a while, fingers caressing the back of his neck while you listen to his breathing even out.

He rolls off of you, mumbling a quiet apology, embarrassment etched into his brows as he lets out a low chuckle.

Didn’t mean to jump you as soon as you got here.

Your chest heaves with laughter as you turn to the side, pink lips stretched into a wicked grin as you look at him dead in the eye.

Frank, never apologize for fucking me like that.

And despite everything that’s gone wrong that day, your words send butterflies to the pit of his stomach, making him blush like he’s a high schooler on prom night.

He’s only known you for a couple months now, and you’re a few years younger—vibrant and affectionate in ways that make him feel guilty on most days. And even though he’s asked to ‘keep things casual’ because ‘he’s not exactly in the best place to commit to a relationship,’ he knows from the light behind your eyes that it’s time.

He asks you out for lunch the very next day.

author's note: gahh this was so fun to write and I hope you enjoyed! remember to drink responsibly kidz!!! If you do drink, reply&lmk what kind of drunk you are (handsy, loud, sad, etc) I’m trying to see something lol

also working on a pt.2 w/ ransom+andy but lmk if you'd like to see any other characters!

(update: read pt. 2 here!)

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rob1ns-liv1n · 1 year ago

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Hi! You’re finally back!! I love your Bridgerton brother reader so much omg! I have so many ideas but one is that reader is really good at singing and playing but nobody in the family really know. And one day they hear him play and sing and are amazed.

Three Times The Bridgertons were Haunted and One Time They Weren't | Brother! Reader!

A/N: that's so sweet, thank you! you actually just made my day. i actually play piano so this was really fun to write. if you see any underlined words, those are links for the songs that the reader is singing/playing. you can play them if you want to have a more immersive experience. anyway sorry this took so long, but here's the request :]

Ever since you could remember Daphne had always been the musical sibling. As soon as she could talk she was given piano lessons every day after her normal schooling schedule. Your mother knew that suitors had more interest in girls with musical talents, so she believed it best to begin Daphne's lessons as early as possible. When Eloise came of age, she was meant to learn the piano as well. Unfortunately for mama, she was more interested in her diaries. Instead of trying to learn, Eloise played terribly on purpose in order to get out of lessons. After a month, mother decided that she wouldn't force any more of her daughters into music lessons for fear of another Eloise situation.

And so Daphne remained the glorified musical sibling. That is, until (Y/N) Bridgerton was tasked with disposing of Daphne's old assignment books at the age of 12 years old. Daphne, who was fourteen at the time, needed space in her sheet music drawer and with you being the good younger brother that you are you offered to get rid of her oldest books. However, you never planned to throw them away. You were going to keep them for yourself.

Later that night, when everyone had gone to bed you tip toed into the sitting room holding the treasured books tightly to your chest. From then on your nightly musical sessions became your most precious secret. It continued to be that way for five years until one fateful night when Daphne and Anthony had gotten up to make themselves warm milk.

Anthony took a slow sip from his milk jug, "We've been bested by a stove."

"Cold milk is much more refreshing anyway." reasoned Daphne.

"I suppose-" Anthony paused abruptly staring towards the door. "Do you hear that?"

Daphne set her jug down and opened the door an inch. Faint piano reverberated through the hall. Anthony, who was now leaning on the door, shot his sister a confused look, "Could it be Hyacinth?"

"No, the piece is sounds much too advanced." whispered Daphne. "Hyacinth has only just started playing, it must be someone else."

Anthony slowly inched towards the kitchen door, intent on sneakily uncovering just who was up a this hour playing piano. Unfortunately for him, the kitchen door did not in fact agree with this plan. As soon as Anthony began to open it, the old wood squealed obnoxiously like a petulant child and the piano came to an abrupt halt.

After watching her brother completely annihilate their chance to properly sleuth, Daphne rushed ahead to the drawing room and hastily opened the door-

-to find the room completely empty.

"Anthony, it's empty."

"What?"

"It's empty. As in there is no one in the drawing room."

"There must be a reasonable explanation..." Anthony's eyes lit up. "Perhaps they are hiding!"

"Hiding? But-"

A chill swept through the air catching the siblings by surprise. A sense of déjà vu came over her and she gasped in realization.

"It's a ghost!" Daphne continued, undeterred by Anthony's perplexed expression. "I recognize the signs. Ghosts are drawn to music, they cause cold winds and they are known to act only between midnight and dawn. It's a ghost. I'm sure of it!"

"And where exactly did you come across this information?"

"A novel....."

"A novel?!"

A mournful moan echoed through the room. In less than a second the door was slammed closed by Anthony's shaking hands.

"So...this novel....."

. . .

It was nearly a week later when two more of your siblings discovered the elusive "ghost" haunting the Bridgerton Estate. Gregory woke up from a nightmare in distress and with Hyacinth's room being so close to his he managed to wake her up too. His sister was not happy to be woken up, but her beauty sleep came second when an upset Gregory was involved. As she was trying her best to comfort him, the pair heard someone humming. Rain pounded steadily on the roof of the estate making the humming seem hypnotizingly sweet. Gregory looked up at his sister in confusion.

"Who do you think that is?"

Hyacinth tilted her head towards the gentle voice. "I don't know. Maybe it's that ghost Anthony keeps mumbling about."

The soft humming filled the silent room as Gregory slowly calmed down. Eventually his sister grabbed a spare blanket from the end of the bed and the two settled on the mattress together, enjoying the hums of their ghostly performer.

...

A single lit candle burned pathetically as the taunting sound of silence permeated Benedict's room. He had been trying to sketch for quite some time now, but despite his most focused effort; his pencil would not seem to budge. With a twitch of his eyebrow Benedict rose from his seat and flung his pencil at the wall nearest to him. Which just so happened to be the wall he shared with his dearest brother, Colin. Benedict dragged a hand over his face in exasperation hoping to God, or anyone really, that his oh-so-caring brother would not awaken. But as the sound of shuffling came closer to the artist's bedroom door it became apparent to Benedict that God was not, in fact, a merciful father.

"Brother?"

"Yes?" Came Benedict's squeaking reply.

The door opened and the younger Bridgerton stepped through with a glare leveled at his older brother. "What in the world are you doing up this late?"

"Nothing, actually. I couldn't sleep so I tried sketching. But then I couldn't even do that!"

Benedict glared at his discarded sketchbook as he continued, his frustration building.

"Now I've spent over three hours sitting in front of this damned fire losing my mind while I try to sketch at least one single drawing that is decent enough to call art."

Belatedly, Benedict realized that he had been yelling, but before he could apologize Colin stepped forward and grasped his shoulder.

"I know you must be frustrated Benny, but maybe tonight's just not your night. And it doesn't have to be either." Colin pinched the artist's cheeks. "There's always the morning."

As soon as his younger brother's hands left his face, a heavy weight seemed to lift from Benedict's shoulders. "I suppose your right. Till morning then."

"Till morning."

"Until then," began Benedict, a small smile dancing on his face. "You're welcome to stay here by the fire. I know how cranky you get on these kinds of cold nights."

Colin simply rolled his eyes before grabbing what he knew was his elder brother's favorite blanket and settling on the sofa closest to the fire. An indignant squawk left Benedict as he stared dumbly at the criminal who had just stolen from him. "Y-you can't have that blanket."

"Why not? You invited me to your room and I am without a blanket. It's only fair."

"Only fair? But that's my blanket." reasoned Benedict. "Surely, you of all people understand how important it is to me."

Despite the strength of Colin's will, he could not handle seeing his brother look so dejected. If he didn't know better it would almost seem like he had just burned the Bridgerton estate to the ground rather than steal his brother's favorite blanket. With a heavy sigh the young boy fluffed out the blanket and sunk down to the soft rug that sat between the sofa and fireplace. Benedict caught on and settled down next to Colin, pulling the blanket over himself as well.

As the two began to doze off the faint whisper of a piano wafted through the room. Distantly, the two boys wondered why Daphne could possibly be up so late. In the morning, they would realize that Daphne was not home.

. . .

"Alright, I assume we all know why this family meeting was called?"

Anthony in front of his assembled siblings as they sat in the drawing room. You glanced around with a sheepish look of uncertainty, "Why exactly was this meeting called?"

"The ghost problem." Anthony began to pace, pausing only to lock eyes dramatically with each and every one of his siblings. "For the last year, we have all encountered signs of ghost activity. Me and Daphne first discovered the apparition playing the piano just past midnight. Then, Hyacinth and Gregory heard it humming. And Benedict and Colin were put to sleep by its most recent piano performance. Am I missing anything?"

The siblings collectively shook their heads, except for one.

"Good. This all circles back to the reason why I have summoned you all in the first place. Tonight we must partake....in a ghost hunt."

"A ghost hunt?" scoffed Eloise. "Really?"

"Yes, really! It is our duty to protect this house. Even against threats that we cannot see."

"Fine, so long as I get to search with (Y/N)."

"That can be arranged. Now-"

"Actually...I don't think that will be necessary." You clear your throat sheepishly as your confidence withers under the curious looks of your family.

Anthony quirks a brow, "and why is that?"

"Well, see that is....um that...well, because I'm the ghost."

Silence overtakes the drawing room. Your siblings think clearly think you're joking, but there's just one thing that might convince them. You walk over to the piano and pull out the bench before taking a seat. The moment your fingers greet the ivories everything falls away. You play each of the three songs your siblings heard and try not to laugh as you hear their shocked gasps echo in the drawing room. A part of you know that there will be a lot of questions after you finish your "concert," but for now all you have to do is focus on the next note to play. The other stuff is a future (Y/N) problem.

BONUS SCENE:

The whole family claps for you as you finish playing. Well almost the whole family, with the exception of the oldest brother.

"While I am impressed by your musical prowess...I wasted money on a book about exorcisms for this!

And there were no refunds..."

#brother reader #eloise bridgerton #bridgerton #reader insert #sibling reader #anthony bridgerton #benedict bridgerton #colin bridgerton #daphne bridgerton #family feels #bridgerton x brother! reader

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aihoshiino · 1 year ago

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A Starter on B-Komachi Spotting

One of the things I most wish we knew more about in Oshi no Ko is B-Komachi - the peeks we get into their group dynamic in 45510 and especially Viewpoint B are always super interesting to me but in the manga itself, we get shockingly little info about them. We can't even match all their names to their faces! With a little sleuthing though, I've managed to identify three of the six unnamed members which should help us narrow down the remaining girls, with a bonus tinhoil hat headcanon that I'm going to finally table. With that said, let's give it a shot!

The No-Brainers

These ones are easy enough that I'm not giving myself any credit for them but I'm mentioning them for completion's sake. Hopefully if you care enough about Oshi no Ko to read this post you recognize Ai on sight, but did you know another B-Komachi member was identified by name too?

In the Episode 1 BTS video, some settei (concept art/animation refs) for the first episode's preproduction were shown and among them was a B-Komachi member.

At the bottom of the character turnaround, you can see the settei is labelled "めいめい" which is read as 'Meimei'. Case closed!

Interestingly, Mei is also namedropped in Viewpoint B and it stated to have written lyrics for at least one of B-Komachi's songs around when Ai was fourteen. Maybe we've got her to thank for Heart's♡Kiss?

The Deeper Digs

So, full disclosure – credit for this first ID goes to users thePermianwascool and ali94127 as they pointed out all these details in my Viewpoint B thread a few months ago. I'm just getting it all in one spot!

Viewpoint B, like 45510, is narrated by an unidentified B-Komachi member but we have just enough details about who she is in the story to put a face to her and it's the B-Komachi member in yellow with the penguin hairpin:

Her member colour is yellow

VB-chan left B-Komachi before the first gen disbanded and accordingly, Penguin Girl is one of the members missing from the final concert.

I don't think it's a stretch to call that one a slam dunk.

Interestingly, the fleeting connection between the Viewpoint B narrator and Ai is the heart of that sidestory and it meant enough to Ai that even years after that single conversation, she considers the narrator her closest friend in B-Komachi. And if you pay attention to the anime art, our Viewpoint B narrator suspect is almost always placed directly at Ai's side with a consistency that feels intentional.

Maybe Ai really did have a friend by her side all this time.

In addition to our narrator, Viewpoint B also identifies another B-Komachi member called Kanan. While this is not a name we've heard before, B-Komachi members are also referred to by fans by cute, affectionate nicknames in-universe. As such, it's possible that she is the 'Kyun' that Sarina refers to in episode/chapter 1.

The other identifying feature we're told about is Kanan's long, silky black hair. In the lineup there are only two unidentified B-Komachi members with long hair and only one with hair I would say reads as black to me.

The girl with the panda pin.

In addition, this post is mostly spoiler free but for Oshi no Sickos who are caught up on the current arc, here are some ROT13 filtered spoilers from the manga that make me slightly more confident in calling this shot.

Xnan'f ebyr va 15 Lrne Yvr vf na nf-bs-guvf-cbfg havqragvsvrq O-Xbznpuv zrzore. Va zber be yrff gur fnzr oerngu gung guvf cbvag vf rfgnoyvfurq, Xnan vf nyfb gurzngvpnyyl pbaarpgrq gb gur vzntrel bs cnaqnf juvpu jbhyq zngpu Xnana'f navzny zbgvs. Vg nyfb cebonoyl whzcrq bhg ng lbh jvgubhg zr fnlvat vg ohg abgr gur fvzvynevgvrf va gurve anzrf, gbb – Xnan naq Xnana.

Someone Stop This Girl Cooking

This part of the post is where I stray out of reasonable assumptions and into wild speculation territory but it's speculation I feel is backed up enough by the source that I don't want to entirely discount it. While this isn't strictly an ID, I do want to call attention to a character I think may be more important than she initially appears to be: the B-Komachi member in blue with the hamster hairpin.

Of the B-Komachi members, she is the only one other than Ai to have a distinctly fantastical hair colour - the other girls all have varying degrees of unnatural shades but Hampter Girl and Ai both stand out as having very distinctly 'anime' looking hair.

In addition, she is given a lot of passing but very notable focus but the anime's framing. She is one of the two other B-Komachi members who join Ai in the private performance of Sign wa B where the twins perform their lightstick dance and is the center of the trio of B-Komachi members we see at Ai's funeral.

Shun Sawai - one of episode 1's character designers and animators - also posted some official art that has her front and center of B-Komachi.

If these aren't just coincidences, it's possible she's being given some attention because she has some importance to the plot or the story as a whole. And why would that be?

As we've already established, Penguin Girl here is our Viewpoint B narrator...

So what if our Hamster Girl is the narrator of 45510?

If this is the case, that would make our Blue B-Komachi member one of the three founding girls paid homage to with Ai's passcode - Nino, Watanabe or Takamine. Picking entirely at random, I'm choosing to headcanon her as Takamine for the time being.

Keep in mind that this section of the post is strictly speculation of course! I just think it would be a nice fit.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #ai hoshino #hoshino ai #b-komachi #b komachi

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twistedtummies2 · 9 months ago

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Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes - Number 12

Welcome to A Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes! During this month-long event, I’ll be counting my Top 31 Favorite Fictional Detectives, from movies, television, literature, video games, and more!

SLEUTH-OF-THE-DAY’S QUOTE: “There’s an old saying: ‘Don’t change anything. Ever.’”

Number 12 is…Adrian Monk, from Monk.

“Monk” premiered in 2002, at a time when I often feel good old-fashioned detective shows were on their way out, at least in the United States. Classic series like “Murder, She Wrote” and “Columbo” were nearing the end of their respective runs, and more and more people were gravitating towards what might be termed crime drama rather than Whodunnit storylines and Sherlock-Holmes-esque antics. With that said, it’s remarkable that Monk lasted as long as it did. The show ran for seven full years of straight television airtime, and was even briefly revitalized for a TV movie spin-off just last year: proof that the show’s legacy has not faded away, even after it ended nearly 15 years prior. Considering the final episode of the series broke the world record for the most viewings in cable television history at the time (a record which has, I should clarify, since been surpassed), it’s clear the series struck a chord with audiences.

I think a big part of the reason why comes from the title character: Adrian Monk himself. Monk is one of the funniest and most interesting detective characters in television history, in my opinion. He was a very different kind of sleuth, some would argue, compared to many popular detectives of the past. The humor of Monk, you see, is different from that of characters like the aforementioned Columbo or Sherlock Holmes. In those cases, these were characters who, for better or worse, everyone knew could get the job done. If they did have a silly side, it was usually either a façade to hide their inner steel, or it came from their own passions creating chaos for those around them. Monk is slightly in the latter category, but in a different way. Monk, you see…is a man who lives in fear of his own shadow. And I don’t think I mean that entirely figuratively. Sometime before the start of the series, you see, he lost his wife in a mysterious car bombing incident. The event caused an already mentally fragile Adrian to have a complete nervous breakdown, and he still hasn’t quite come out of it. As a result, Adrian Monk has become a man who is paranoid about just about everything around him. He’s a hypochondriac, has severe OCD, and his mind contains more phobias than you can really list in any concise way. Some are rational, but many are completely unfounded. He’s scared of snakes, needles, heights, enclosed spaces…even MILK he looks at with a sense of dread. Milk, I say! And that’s just to name a few!

The humor of Monk, as a result, comes from watching this man battle his own constant fear of the UNIVERSE, as he panics his way through every situation, fretting and fussing and cowering even as he scopes out scenes and picks out clues. It’s not surprising that his enemies underestimate him or that others around him get annoyed, because he’s not just pretending to be a buffoon: he’s legitimately just a constant wreck! However, through all the goofiness this setup presents – and there is a LOT of goofiness to be found – Monk is NOT an idiot. All of his overwhelming fears and nervous habits come from a very sad and fundamentally broken place, and there are times, throughout the series, where Monk shows not only a tragic vulnerability, but also a sort of inner fire and strength. When the situation calls for it, Adrian can be brought out of his shell, and shows there’s a lot more to him than just a whimpering clown. I think this is the crux of what makes the character so much fun to watch: we know he isn’t faking all this lunacy, but we also know that, at the end of the day, Monk will make the right choice, and will find some way of bringing the criminals involved in any case to justice. Many actors were considered for the role of Monk, a lot of them really big names. Some include Alfred Molina, Stanley Tucci, and the late John Ritter. In the end, the role went to Tony Shalhoub, who was sort of an actor-on-the-rise at the time. It was Monk that made Shalhoub recognized nationwide, however, and is the role he is likely best known for to this day. It’s not hard to see way: Shalhoub handles every scene absolutely perfectly, making Adrian just as sympathetic and heroic as he is absolutely ridiculous. The result is one of the most wonderfully comedic, but still competent and fascinating, characters in detective fiction, in my opinion. From battles with Tim Curry to solving the case of his late wife’s murder to trying to figure out if he’s scared of blankets or not (yes, really), Adrian Monk may not be the bravest of super sleuths…but he's certainly one of the greatest.

Tomorrow, the countdown continues with Number 11!

CLUE: “It really is very dangerous to believe people. I never have for years.”

#list #countdown #best #favorites #top 31 fictional detectives #gathering of the greatest gumshoes #number 12 #monk #adrian monk #tv #television #mystery #murder mystery #tony shalhoub

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foodfightnovelization · 1 year ago

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Chapter 24: Analysis and Discussion

So here we are at Chapter 24, finally at the end of this novelization. It's been a wild ride, right? From different dialogue, to entirely new characters, to scenes that weren't in the final film at all, this has been SO much more enjoyable than watching the actual movie. The changes made in the novelization add so much to the story, and a lot of what I didn't like about the movie was either changed or left out entirely. I hope you enjoyed reading about it and reading along with me, because I sure loved writing about it. With all that said and done, let's see how this story ends, right?

Hairy Hold finally shows up to join the Resistance...after everything's already over, of course. Dex congratulates everyone on a job well done, but tells them they still have a lot of work to do- the store opens in just four hours. It's then that Dr Nustrix shows up and says he's created an antidote that should bring all the Ikes they lost back to life. He spritzes Polar Penguin with it and he wakes up, as if he were just in a deep sleep the entire time. The only difference here between the novelization and the movie's version of events is the additional line from Dex about their store opening in 4 hours, which is pretty minor but does remind us there's still work to be done as well as the nature of Marketropolis' existence.

Polar says he knew Dex would save him, and Sunshine tells Dex how proud he deserves to be, jumping into his arms and throwing a raisin in the air for him to catch in his mouth. Dan lampshades how everything really turned out perfect in the end, and Dex finally pulls the engagement ring from his pocket (remember, from when he was going to propose to Sunshine right at the beginning of the story?) and she instantly says yes, the whole store cheering as the two finally kiss. Dan almost starts crying until he notices Sweet Cakes giving him a flirty look, and realizes he might be getting some action too. This scene is once again the same across both the novelization and the movie, with the exception of the brief exchange between Dan and Sweet Cakes at the end. So, this is the second-to-last page, and with only one more to go, you'd THINK things would stay the same and the novelization wouldn't end in a completely different way to the movie, right? Well, good guess but you'd actually be wrong!

We cut to the next morning, back in the supermarket. Mr Leonard looks around and sees burnt, destroyed Brand X products littering the floor and is mortified until he notices all the colorful, familiar products are back on their shelves, everything back the way it should be. He's suitably puzzled, thinking this must be some sort of dream.

A month later, he's helping a customer load groceries into her cart, with all the products at the top of the bag being ones we're now familiar with- Kaptain Krispy chips, Polar Pleasures ice cream, and Twinkleton toothpaste. As she leaves, a large delivery truck pulls up- but this time it's a shipment Mr Leonard's excitedly been expecting for a while now. He opens the box and pulls out a brand new box of cereal- "New and Improved Cinnamon Sleuth Cereal- Now with Sunshine Goodness Raisins".

So, uh...YEAH. This is COMPLETELY different from how the movie ends, and it's a total last-second left turn. For context, in the movie after Dex proposes to Sunshine, we cut to their wedding at the Copbanana. It's being ordained by a rabbi, and Dex stomps on a carton of milk before he and Sunshine kiss. Dr Nustrix is shocked by this, and loudly exclaims "Dex is JEWISH?" as the credits start rolling, interrupted several times by brief interludes showing all the Ikes having fun at Dex and Sunshine's wedding. There are literally no similarities AT ALL to compare between these two endings, it's crazy how completely different in tone and content they are.

I VASTLY prefer the novelization's ending, however. It's way more toned-down, with a quiet scene of Mr Leonard being baffled by what happened to his store overnight, like he finally gets a hint that something more is going on behind the doors of his supermarket after it closes, a brief wink toward the world of Marketropolis he'll never see. Although we lose the revelation of Dex being Jewish (losing out on some much-needed representation), the much more subtle implication that Dex and Sunshine are now married by showing a Cinnamon Sleuth box with Sunshine Goodness raisins now in the mix is a much sweeter and genuinely endearing way for the story to end. It does raise some questions about how marriage works in Marketropolis- for instance, if Mr Clean marries Charlie Tuna, do the two products combine and release an all-purpose cleaner that smells like fish?

Regardless, it's a lovely ending to the story, and I really hope everyone enjoyed reading along with me. I definitely enjoyed combing through this and talking about all the changes made, and I absolutely consider Foodfight! The Junior Novelization to be a far superior version of the story. Of course, a lot of that is likely down to the novelization being based on an earlier version of script and so the writers also deserve a share of the credit for that, but without this novelization we may have never even got to know what that early script was like!

Now that I've finished going through the novelization in its entirety, I'll put it up on the Internet Archive for everyone to read whenever they want- after all, this is the only copy known to exist, and I want to make sure it's properly preserved. Thank you again to anyone who's been reading this blog and joining me on this journey, I'm honored to have shared this experience with you. I mean, how often do you get to read the only copy of a book known to exist, share it with the entire world, AND unravel a huge part of the tangled web of mysteries behind the production of Foodfight!?

I'll update this blog again when I've uploaded the book to the Internet Archive, but for now this is Tiffany Amber, signing off!

#daredevil dan #dex dogtective #foodfight #analysis #book review #charlie sheen #lady x #novelization #wayne brady #eva longoria #cinnamon sleuth cereal now with sunshine goodness raisins #ending

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jomatto · 2 years ago

Text

Attack Weak Point for Mass Destruction

After a bit of internet sleuthing, I found that someone had archived everything on FF.net up until 2016 here.

I thought it was a long shot, but I went ahead and downloaded 5 gigs of old-ass fics in the "P" category. I opened it up and tried searching for my story but it didn't show up.

Just to make sure, I tried searching manually by scrolling through the txt files. I wasn't making much progress, so I tried the search bar again and it finally appeared. Guess I just had to wait for it to index.

Funny to think that I'd go through all this effort to recover this little piece of almost lost history. It was not at all how I envisioned today going, but I'm glad I went through the effort.

Since it was in a txt file, I had to do some minor reformatting to get those bolds and italics back. Aside from that, I did no changes.

I don't think I ever explained the reasoning behind the title. It's a combination of a meme born from Sony's infamous 2006 PS3 press conference and the battle track from Persona 3.

So, I present a long-deleted never-completed fanfic of mine:

Attack Weak Point for Mass Destruction

Category: Persona Series Genre: Friendship, Humor Language: English Status: In-Progress (DEAD) Published: 2012-05-31 Updated: 2012-06-13 Rating: T Chapters: 4 Words: 8,331

Chapter 1: A Leader's Responsibility

Yu Narukami opened his eyes to a pleasant sight.

It was just the ceiling, but it was familiar. After the ordeal he went through, something as ordinary as the ceiling was oddly comforting. The silver-haired youth was on his bed, enjoying the soft feel of his mattress. He hadn't relaxed like this in a long time. The case was now solved and there was nothing more to do other than enjoy his remaining time here in Inaba. He, along with his group of close friends, discovered the true culprit behind the serial murders and beat the crap out of it. The town was saved from a foggy demise and everything was back to normal.

There would be no more victims, no more mysteries, and no more battles, just three months, or twelve weeks, or eighty days of free time. He still had school, but compared to those days of investigating, chasing down leads, and enacting rescue operations, school might as well be vacation.

It was hard to believe that eight months could go by so quickly. It seemed just like yesterday when he arrived at Yasoinaba Station, greeted by his uncle and adorable little cousin. He was definitely going to miss this place. Even if it was short, it was truly the happiest period of his life.

He was a little worried though. With no more mystery to solve, what was there to do? As stressful as it was to fight shadows, it was also extremely rewarding. Nothing could match that feeling of victorious satisfaction from smiting a mighty foe. With no more enemies to fight, it was hard to get excited. For all he knew, this was the peak of his life. What there anything to look forward to after saving the world?

The thought was a little depressing, but he allowed himself a small smile. The world wasn't lacking in mysteries, heck, he was surrounded by them. The end of one journey was just the start of another.

His friends, no matter how much time he spent with them, continued to surprise. Eight months was hardly enough to learn everything about a person, even if he already saw their darkest secrets revealed. That was just one part of them though, and there was more to people than their dark sides. What about their hopes, dreams, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and everything in between? He recalled the words his junior, Rise Kujikawa, once told him:

"Senpai, I really admire your strength. I think you're the perfect leader. You have no weaknesses at all!"

She always heaped unhealthy amounts of praise on him, but this was one of the few times she actually meant it. His ability to wield multiple personas ensured that his weaknesses could very well become his strength the next moment. He had long ago memorized the weaknesses of each of his friends; he wouldn't be an effective leader otherwise, but it was a different story outside of battle. What about their weaknesses as people?

His smile widened into a grin. He finally found it; his next mission. Before he came to Inaba, he was always moving from place to place because of his parents. He never had a chance to really make friends. He was afraid of being alone.

Because of them, that changed. They turned his weakness—his fear—into his strength. He could freely admit that he was happy now. It was an honest and refreshing feeling. He owed them for that. It was his turn to repay the favor. He would help his friends the same way they helped him, and turn their weak spots into points of pride.

Enough lying around; he got up from bed and walked over to his desk. He opened a drawer and picked up a dart. He kept it as a memento from the Port Island school trip. He tossed it towards the ceiling and without looking, snatched it out of the air quite easily. He took aim at the dartboard across the room, and with a quick flick of his wrist, the dart flew true.

Bullseye.

"Attack weak point for mass destruction."

He knew what he had to do.

It was, after all, a leader's responsibility.

Chapter 2: Like A Dragon

Chie Satonaka tapped her foot nervously.

When she woke up this morning, she definitely did not expect to be greeted with a text message from Yu, especially when it said:

Come over to my place today afternoon.

After convincing herself that he probably sent the same message to their whole group, she finally left the house and showed up at his doorstep only to discover that she was the only one there. What could this mean? From the street, it was amusing to see this girl fret to and fro in front of the apartment. She wasn't wearing her usual track sweater, and instead, opted for something more feminine than usual. It was hard scrounging up something that didn't scream "tomboy," but she managed somehow. It was a light, airy, and sleeveless blouse—something she would never wear if it wasn't for the situation.

She smacked herself on the head. Snap out of it, Chie! This was no time to be fantasizing. It wasn't like he was interested in her or anything. Why would he when he was surrounded by so many girls much prettier than her? She was starting to feel stupid. What was she getting so excited for? She should probably just go back home and switch into her normal clothes since it'd be awkward if he saw her in this outfit and—

"Ah, you're here."

She recoiled from his sudden appearance. She wasn't even ready yet! Yu's welcoming smile was the last thing she wanted to see, even if it made her warm in the face. "H-hey there," she stammered. She instinctively crossed her arms to shield herself from his curious gaze.

"You look cute today," he complimented.

"Sh-shut up!" What was wrong with her? The words made her happy, but she just had to lash out like that. She mentally cursed herself. This was why she never got anywhere.

He wasn't fazed at all. "Come on in."

Okay Chie, just take it one step at a time. She entered the familiar home. She had visited tons of times before, so why was she so nervous today? "Where's Nanako-chan?" she asked.

"She's with my uncle. It's just you and me here."

"Just us...alone?" Her heart sped up a little. She slapped herself lightly on the cheek to calm herself down. Her imagination was getting the best of her. "So uh...why'd you invite me over today?" she squeaked.

"Have a seat," he implored. She complied, sitting down at the dining room table. She watched as he opened the refrigerator, pulled out a package from the freezer, and held it up for her to see. It was a packet of beef. "Surprise," he said, grinning.

"Is that—!" Her mouth was already starting to water. Steak personally grilled by Yu? Could the day get any better?

"Yup. And you're the one cooking it."

"Huh? W-wait a minute, are you serious?"

Yu's face didn't budge a single inch. "Of course."

"You're joking, right? You're a much better cook than I am." And as much as she hated to admit it, her cooking skills were beyond abysmal. She would never be able to do the meat justice. "So you should just cook it yourself, and besides, it looks pretty expensive, and I don't want you to be wasting your money..."

He ignored her as she prattled on more excuses as to why she shouldn't cook. Honestly, he agreed with all of them, but that wasn't the point.

Mystery Food X.

Even the name gave him chills. His stomach groaned at the memory. Mystery Food X turned him off to curry for months. It was amazing how she was able to invert the very essence of cooking, turning sustenance into death. It wasn't fair to push all of Mystery Food X's failures on Chie alone, but Yukiko had been making earnest attempts to improve her cooking since, and she had an army of chefs to help her out at the inn.

Chie was a different story though. Yosuke would never again touch anything she ever made, and everyone else was less than willing to taste test for her. Her opportunities to improve were limited. Since he was the best cook out of all of them, and she the worst, it made sense for him to teach her. That wasn't the only reason though. Out of everyone, she was the one he owed the most.

To this day, he still couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that she extended her hand to him in friendship. He was used to transferring in and out quietly, but Chie decided to step in and save him from King's Moron's fury, and even invited him to walk home with her and Yukiko on his first day. It might've been because he was a city boy in a small town, or she was just being polite, but whatever the reason, and he was forever grateful to her.

So it fell on him to make sure that she wouldn't kill anyone the next time she cooked.

"Don't be so hard on yourself," he admonished. "That's why I'm here, to teach you."

Her eyes widened. "You want to teach me? But..."

He smiled at her. "Don't you want to learn how?"

Of course she did! She never thought too much about it, but after the lunches Yu made for her, she realized how happy a meal could make a person. Receiving a well-cooked lunch was, in her opinion, the greatest gift she could ever receive, especially if it was steak! But the thought of subjecting Yu to her awful cooking made her wince. What if she never improved? What if he got so frustrated with her that he'd just give up? There were so many things that could go wrong. "Are you sure you want to? What if I don't get better?"

He patted her on the head. "Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter how long it takes, I'll stick with you until you can make something so delicious, even Yosuke will praise you for it."

It was condescending to be patted on the head, but if it was Yu, well... She blushed. He always had a knack with words. "Okay...I'll trust you then."

"Let's get started."

When it came to learning how to cook, it was best to start with a favorite dish. He figured if he started with steak, Chie would pick it up quickly. It also helped that steak was a relatively simple dish to prepare.

"Alright!" she yelped, clenching her fists. She was hyped now. She wasn't confident in her skills, but with Yu here with her, she felt like she could do anything. "So what's the first step?"

He was glad to see her so enthusiastic, it would make things easier. "Have you ever cooked steak before?"

"No, but it shouldn't be too hard. Don't you just nuke it in the microwave?" He just stared at her in awe. "Uh…is that wrong?"

"Steak is grilled," he explained.

She slapped her hand with her fist. "Ah! That's right! I totally forgot."

He was beginning to see why she was so bad at cooking. "You're not entirely wrong though. You can still use a microwave to thaw the meat, but lucky for you, I already thawed some out. But before we do anything, we have to make the marinade."

She perked up at that. "Ohhh, you mean the sauce!"

"Exactly. I have all the ingredients here, so let me tell you what they are: ginger, garlic, soy sauce, sugar, and sake. The first step in cooking is making sure that you have all the right ingredients." He grimaced as he recalled his time at the grocery store in Junes, when Chie and Yukiko decided to pick up anything that sounded remotely relevant to their planned meal. "The number one most important rule is to never, ever, stray from the recipe."

She chuckled uncomfortably. "Sorry about that, but—"

"No buts. You have a cell phone, don't you? Look up the recipes and make sure you have the right ingredients. There's really no excuse in this day and age."

"Okay, okay, I get it! Get the right ingredients."

"It's the number one rule." He grabbed a ginger root and a spoon. "Next, we have to prepare the ingredients. First things first, we peel the skin."

So that was what ginger looked like; she had no idea. It looked like a pale, skinny, and lumpy potato. He broke off a piece and handed her one. "What do I do with this?" she wondered.

"You take the spoon and scrape off the skin." He demonstrated by deftly moving his hands up and down, the skin disappearing with each stroke.

"Whoa!" she said in amazement.

"Give it a try," he encouraged.

She took the spoon hesitantly. Could she really do this? Yu's gentle smile gave her all the courage she needed. "Here I go!" She smashed the spoon into the root, causing it to splinter into useless bits. "Oh…was that too strong?"

"Maybe a little, no—definitely too strong." He handed her another piece of root since the other one was demolished beyond all repair. "Don't put so much force into it. Do it lightly this time."

"Got it!" She psyched herself up again and started scraping with much less force—actually, with hardly any force. She was barely grazing the surface. "It's not working!"

"Okay, here's my advice. Remember what you did before, when you did it too strongly?" She nodded. "And right now, you're doing it too lightly, so try to do it in between. Not too strong and not too light."

"It's working!" she gasped. The skin was finally peeling off. "That was some great advice!"

Some people needed the obvious to be pointed out for them. "Yeah…okay, next, I want you to pick up a knife and—"

"A knife? Couldn't you just, you know, smash the ginger into pieces with your hand?" It sounded just like her to smash things. Unfortunately, food was not made through martial arts, although it would be great for tenderizing meat. For everything else, a delicate touch was required, which could only be achieved through precision tools like knives.

"It's impossible to dice ginger with your hands."

"You don't know that! I once saw in a movie that you can cut vegetables with the right techniques."

"There's a big difference between—okay, so let's just say that you can. Are you saying you know how?"

"No…" she answered quietly.

"Then that means you have to do it like everyone else, and that's with a knife."

"I…" Damn it, this was so embarrassing! She knew the second he offered to teach her that this would come up, but she didn't think that it would actually come up.

"What's wrong?"

The normally excitable Chie suddenly turned into a scared kitten before his eyes. "I'm afraid of knives," she admitted.

"You're afraid of knives?" he repeated. Wait, that didn't make sense. She cooked things before, how did she do it without a knife? When he thought about it though, it actually did make sense. Yukiko probably handled all the cutting at the school campout, and a knife wasn't necessary to make an omelet—the same goes for cake. Then all this time, she was trying to cook without using a knife? He tried to look at Chie but she hid her face.

"You can laugh now."

He still had a lot to learn about her. After all this time and he had no idea. She hid it pretty damn well. "Why didn't you say anything about my katana, or even Yosuke's knives?"

"Th-that's completely different! And I trust you guys, so it's fine but… When I was kid, I was in the kitchen one time. I saw the knife on the counter, got curious, and ended up cutting myself by accident. I've been afraid of knives since," she confessed. It was a simple story, but just because it was simple didn't make it any less impactful. It was hard to let go of childhood fears, so he could understand. He always wondered why she used her feet in battle instead of a weapon, but this explained everything. "It's impossible for me to hold a knife."

"You'll never get any better at cooking unless you confront your fear," he stated bluntly.

"Aren't there like tons of dishes out there that don't require cutting?"

"Are you running away? That's not like you, Chie."

"I'm not! I'm just…avoiding it."

"It's the same thing," he said, sighing. He grabbed a knife and held it up. "Do you mind?"

She shook her head. "I trust you so it's fine."

"In that case…" He put himself behind her and grabbed her hand.

"W-what are you doing?" He was too close! She could practically feel the heat radiating from his body.

"Do you trust me?"

"I—" She resisted the urge to elbow his side and flip him over the table. "Of course I do."

"Then grab the knife," he ordered.

"I can't!"

"You can." He led her hand towards the knife. "Hold it and I'll make sure you don't cut yourself. Let me guide you."

She could spend her whole life running away from knives, or she could face her fear and hold the damn thing. How pathetic. She was cowering in front of him. How weak could she be?

"You're strong Chie. That's why I know that you can face this with no problem. Compared to what we've been through, a little knife isn't going to scare you, is it?" He was right behind her, and his overwhelming presence was enough to override her anxiety for the moment.

Before she knew it, she found herself holding a knife. "AH!" She let go but a firm hand covered hers, preventing it from dropping.

"Don't let go," he warned.

She was completely frozen, and it had nothing to do with the knife, but everything to do with his hand on hers.

Yu had no clue about Chie's fried brain and continued to hold tightly. If she trusted him with a katana, then surely she wouldn't protest if he was there to guide her? It wasn't just her, they were both holding the knife, and there was no way he was going to allow an accident to happen. "Are you okay?"

"You're so mean," she whimpered.

The comment drew laughter from the boy. "That's fine, as long you get over your fear. Just concentrate on holding the knife, and I'll handle the rest."

Yu's hand was large, engulfing hers easily, and warm. She felt like crying. This was so embarrassing, and her hands were starting to get clammy too. "S-sorry for sweat," she apologized weakly. He seemed to ignore it and continued guiding her. His grasp was gentle and left small tingles on her skin.

She shut her eyes. This was just a dream. Yeah, that was it. She must be daydreaming. Any moment now and she'd snap out of it. There was no way this was happening for real. The sound of the blade clacking against the cutting board continued to ring in her ears. Any time now… Wake up. Wake up, damn it!

"I knew you could do it."

She opened her eyes and saw the ginger was minced. "I did?" She looked at her hand and it was indeed by itself. Just when did he let go? She could've sworn he was still holding her. Was she imagining his warmth? He really was amazing. He made her forget all about the knife. The only thing on her mind was his touch. She smiled in relief. "Can you help me cut the garlic now?" she pleaded.

"Huh? But you—"

"One time isn't enough, idiot! You think I can get over my fear that easily? So, hurry up and hold the knife already!"

He let out a soft smile. It was probably too much to hope that Chie could get over her aichmophobia with a simple trick. He gripped her hand again and found her unusually pliant this time. She must've found her motivation. "Alright, let's do this again."

After they finished cutting up the garlic, they blended the rest of the ingredients together to make a rich teriyaki sauce. Chie dipped her finger in the bowl and gave it a taste. "Wow! This is great stuff."

"You should be proud; you made it."

"We made it," she corrected. "And you did most of the work."

He laughed. It was hard getting her to accept credit. "Now, all we have to do is let the steak marinade in the fridge for a couple hours and after that, it's grilling time."

"Woohoo! I can't wait!" She threw her arms in the air in excitement. "So what now?"

He shrugged. "Whatever you want."

"Whatever I—" Get a hold yourself, Chie, he didn't mean it like that. "Then let's uh…go watch some TV!" She hopped over to the living room and turned on the tube.

Yu followed her and took a seat by the low table. "Anything good on?"

She flipped through the channels until she saw a guy get kicked in the face. Whenever something like that happened on TV, that was when she knew she found something good. She turned to Yu. "Oh, do you like these kinds of movies? I can change the channel if you want."

He shook his head. "I don't mind."

"Awesome!"

It was a martial arts marathon, with hours upon hours of glorious punching, kicking, and acrobatics. Chie got pretty into it, but when the marathon ended, it was finally time to cook.

Yu showed her how to set up the grill and took out the marinated steaks. They were cut in thin slices. He opened a cabinet and pulled out a pack of bamboo skewers. "Now for the easy part. Just stick these through the steak and let it grill for a minute."

"Gotcha." She took a skewer and stabbed it through, forcing the meat to crumple and fold magnificently on the stick. If she could, she'd eat it right now.

They were in the middle of grilling when Dojima and Nanako came home. "Something smells good!" Nanako cried out.

Dojima looked into the kitchen. "Wow, steaks? What's the occasion?"

Yu thought about it for a second. "New Years?"

"Good enough for me," the detective laughed. "Come on Nanako, let's go wash our hands."

"Yay, steak!" The little girl's celebrations drew a kind gaze from Yu..

"I think I'm finished," Chie alerted.

Yu came over and inspected the slice. It was grilled to perfection. "Why don't you try it out?"

"Here I go!" She stuffed it into her mouth and chewed. It was… "Delicious!"

"It tastes better knowing that you made it, doesn't it?"

She agreed. It was the best steak she ever had. "Thanks a lot, Yu. Honestly, I decided to give up on cooking but… I guess I'm not as hopeless as I thought."

Yu took a fresh skewer off the grill and tried one for himself. It tasted satisfying. "I always wondered why you said 'pudding' instead of 'steak.'"

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"The beauty pageant."

"Ugh, don't remind me." So she lied. Wasn't pudding more feminine than steak? It was the only reason she answered "pudding" as her favorite food during the pageant.

"There's nothing wrong with liking steak. It's pretty classy, I think," he told her.

"Really, you think so too?" she said excitedly. She knew Yu would understand!

"And it fits you perfectly."

"Wha—" What was he trying to say about her?

"Sh-shut up you idiot!"

He laughed out loud. Something about being called idiot by Chie made him happy. "Alright, I wonder what we should make next…"

"W-Wait, isn't steak enough?"

"Of course not. Beef is expensive. Are you going to be making steak every time you cook for yourself? "

"I…" Wait, what was she complaining for? This meant she could spend more time with him! "I'll be happy to learn. Just you wait; I'll make you something so good, you'll say WOW! After all, the student always surpasses the master."

"I look forward to it." He grinned when a brilliant thought struck him. "Oh, I got it! How about I teach you how to make chocolate-covered grasshoppers?"

"IDIOT!"

Chapter 3: The Bro Code

Yu looked over his shoulder to see his best friend, Yosuke Hanamura, with his face down against the desk.

It was a familiar sight, and one that drew regular criticism from teachers. They chalked it up to laziness, but it was really because of his job at Junes. It wasn't easy being the manager's son. Fortunately, it was lunch time.

Yu debated whether or not to wake him up. Yosuke didn't appreciate it whenever he was roused from much-needed sleep, but on the other hand, he didn't like waking up on an empty stomach either. As he contemplated this conundrum, Yu's eyes fell on the headphones around Yosuke's neck.

He always wondered… What exactly was the point of those headphones? They weren't very functional considering its bulkiness, so he assumed it was some sort of fashion statement, but was that really the reason? Yu took this opportunity to find out. He grabbed the headphones and pulled them off carefully. Even though he wasn't expecting much, he put it on to see what was playing—if anything.

"—must exude extreme confidence. It requires patience and a certain mindset. One cannot be deterred by fear or niggling insecurities. You must push them aside and focus on the reality in front of you, for the essence of swag can only be achieved through—"

The headphones were suddenly ripped away.

"Whoa! What are you doing?" Yosuke shouted, now awake. He held the headphones protectively close. "D-Did you hear anything?" A bead of sweat ran down his neck.

Yu tilted his head curiously. What the heck did he just listen to? "Something about swag?"

The entire class instinctively turned to Yu the second he mentioned "swag." He was surprised by the sudden attention.

Yosuke looked around nervously and stood up. "Let's go to the rooftop," he suggested, wanting to escape from the probing stares.

"Sure."

The duo left the classroom and climbed to the rooftop. They sat down at their usual spot. Yosuke set his back against the fence and smiled in embarassment. "Well this is awkward," he laughed. "I guess I can't hide it anymore."

"What were you listening to?"

"Since it's you, I'll tell you. Before I do that though, uh, you wouldn't happen to have a spare lunch, do you?" He mustered his brightest grin, as if it would increase his chances of receiving food.

Yu returned the smile. "Actually, I do."

"Seriously? You're the best, partner!"

The silver youth produced a strange looking lunchbox and offered it to Yosuke. It was a green box with streaks of yellow on the sides. It reminded Yosuke of something, but he couldn't put his finger on it. It was fancier than the usual plain box Yuu gave him. "Did you buy a new box?"

"Something like that," he answered, chuckling eerily afterwards.

"I guess it doesn't matter. It's what's on the inside that counts, right?" He took off the lid, snapped the chopsticks apart, and started digging in. He shoved the food into his mouth with as much delicacy as a starving pig. It wasn't until after several minutes of chewing did he realize that something was off.

"Something wrong?"

Yosuke gulped. "Well, not exactly. It tastes kind of weird. Don't get me wrong, it's still good, but just not up to your usual standard. I guess even you have your bad days, huh?"

"Really? Chie's going be happy to hear that."

He paused as he tried to parse that statement. "What does Chie have to do with anything?"

"She's the one who made your lunch."

His eyes almost popped out of its sockets. "WHAT!" He looked at the lunchbox again, but this time, with extra caution. He finally realized how sloppy it looked. Yu's presentation was normally neat and immaculate, but this was messy and screamed "amateur!" Despite that, it tasted pretty decent, and that alone was enough to question Yu's statement. "You're joking."

"I'm not," Yu rebutted, chuckling at his friend's disbelief. "That is 100% Chie's cooking."

He couldn't believe it. "How is this even possible?" Chie and cooking went together like Naoto and dresses. They just didn't mix.

"I've been teaching her how to cook," he revealed.

"Damn. You're amazing. To think you can turn the worst cook in Inaba into a halfway decent one... Is there anything you can't do?"

He didn't buy into the flattery. It wasn't like he did anything special. "Actually, I wasn't sure if I did a good job teaching her. To be honest, I was afraid to try it myself. I'm glad to hear it's good though."

"Hold up, are you saying you didn't test this before serving me?"

Yu shoved his hands into his pockets and averted his gaze. "It's the first time she made something without my supervision. I wasn't sure how it would turn out so..."

"I was just your guinea pig? That is so not cool, man! I can't believe you put my life in danger like that!"

It was a little dramatic, even by Yosuke's standards. "It turned out fine in the end, didn't it?"

"That's not that point, it's just—ugh, never mind. I guess you're right, but next time, a little warning would be nice."

"But you never would've tried it if I told you."

He couldn't argue with that. "Let's just forget about it."

Yu smirked. He'd have to remember to tell Chie about this later. Yosuke would never admit it to her face that he found her cooking passable. She probably preferred to hear it was delicious, but it was baby steps for her. At least she was getting better. "So, about this essence of swag thing..."

Yosuke started choking on a piece of carrot. He slapped his chest a couple times to force it down. "Ack! Dude, don't bring that stuff up out of the blue!"

"I thought we were talking about it?"

"Wait until I finish my lunch," he pleaded. Yu was certainly pushing his buttons today. If Yosuke didn't know any better, he could've sworn Yu was just picking on him. He wolfed down the rest of the lunch in record time. It wasn't too hard since there wasn't much to savor.

"Finished?"

There were no more excuses left. He couldn't stall anymore. He would just have to tell him the truth. "Okay, just promise you won't laugh at me."

Yu considered those words carefully. "I promise."

Yosuke took a deep breath, held it, and let it out slowly. "At Junes, we sell all kinds of things. Whenever I help out, I usually don't do the same thing twice. So one day, I find myself in the CD section. There was a fresh shipment that needed stocking and I...heh, I guess there's really no good way to put this, but I found a series of self-help CDs."

"Self-help CDs?"

"Yeah... You know, stuff like Simplifying Your Life or How to Control Your Anger."

"I never knew you had anger issues," the silver boy joked.

"I don't, but one of the CDs stood out to me. It was called The Essence of Swag. You can go ahead and laugh now." He had to admit, it sounded ridiculous, but he wanted to become more confident, like Yu, who made it look so easy. He just wanted some of that swag for himself.

Yu blinked. Why would he laugh? It wasn't like he never resorted to books to improve his social skills. He had a whole of library of self-help guides, so he understood completely. "There's nothing wrong with that. I've done the same before."

"Really?" Yosuke was shocked. Wasn't Yu just a natural pimp?

The silver-haired boy nodded. "Maybe if you weren't so busy looking for my secret stash that doesn't exist; you would've noticed the stack of books on my shelf. I could let you borrow some if you want."

Yosuke waved his hands. "Nah, that's fine. I prefer to listen to my books, but thanks for offering. And I just know you have a stash somewhere, so don't even pretend you don't have one."

"So, why the sudden interest in self-improvement?" he asked, ignoring the last quip.

"It wasn't really sudden; it's been on my mind since…Saki-senpai."

A moment of silence for the dead.

"We never really had a chance to just relax," Yosuke continued. "We were always in the middle of investigating or fighting. I was kind of glad for it. It took my mind off things. But with the case solved, I figured it was time for a change. I think it's only now that I can say I've finally gotten over her. There are still things I don't like about myself, so I'm trying to do something about it."

Hearing that brought a smile to Yu's face. Yosuke seemed to have found an answer for himself. "That's great to hear."

"But man, this sucks. I thought I would've had a girlfriend by now. This wasn't how I imagined high school."

The silver-haired teenager laughed. At least Yosuke wasn't lacking in effort despite falling flat half the time—okay, all the time. "It'll happen. Just be patient."

"I sure hope so. I'm 0 for 2. Yukiko turned me down flat and Rise's all over you," he grumbled.

"Rise's just playing around," Yu excused. "It doesn't really mean anything."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, partner."

"What about Chie? Or even Naoto?" Yu brought up. It seemed odd to exclude them as candidates for girlfriend material.

The brunet let out a snort. "I like my girls to be, you know, girls." If they ever heard that, he'd probably get kicked in the face followed with a bullet to the forehead.

"Isn't that kind of harsh? I think they're both cute myself."

"I didn't expect them to be your taste."

"They're all cute to me," he declared diplomatically. He felt lucky to be even friends with them, and they were all attractive in their own way.

"I guess they are. Man… It's nice to just talk about girls like this. You're really the only one I can talk to about this stuff. Kanji probably doesn't have any clue about girls, and Teddie—well, the less said about him the better. I know I asked you this before, but… Is there anyone you like?"

Yu never gave it too much thought. It was enough to be surrounded by friends. He didn't need anything more than that. But since Yosuke asked nicely, he might as well give him an answer. "You."

"W-What? Dude! That is not funny!" He grabbed his own shoulders and shivered. "Don't even joke about things like that!"

Yu laughed out loud. Yosuke was too easy to tease. He and Kanji shared more similarities than Yosuke would care to admit. "I'm not looking for a relationship right now. You guys are good enough for me." As long as he wasn't alone, he was fine.

"Ha. You say that now, but one day it'll hit you. You're a lucky guy though. You probably won't have any problems at all."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He gave Yu an incredulous look. "It doesn't really need to be explained, you lucky bastard."

Yu was completely baffled by Yosuke's attack. "Thanks?"

"Enough about that, I just got the most brilliant idea!" he yelled, changing the topic.

"What's that?"

"Let's hit up Okina City this Sunday!"

Rise had taken Yu to Okina City on occasion, so he knew the place. There wasn't anything there that they couldn't find in the shopping district. "What are we going to do there?"

"What else? To pick up chicks, of course! Think about it. There's no more mystery to solve and we have a whole three months ahead of us. It's time to let loose and have some fun. I can't do this by myself. Can you be my wingman?" It sounded like a proposal. He even pulled out his puppy dog face for extra persuasion.

It had zero effect, but it was proof of his desperation, and Yu wasn't that cruel. He was free that weekend, so why not? "Alright then, it's a date."

Yosuke immediately grimaced. "Dude, don't say it like that!"

Chapter 4: Airheaded Princess

Yukiko Amagi, manager-in-training and heir to the Amagi Inn, was trying to clear her head.

Whenever she was stressed, she liked to go to her favorite spot, the pavilion near the Samegawa riverbank. The place wasn't anything special. It was a small roof over a bench made out of cheap wood, but it offered an ample view of nature and her favorite animal: the birds. There were plenty of them here, and watching them fly soothed her tumultuous mind.

Running an inn was hard work. It seemed impossible to juggle so many different responsibilities simultaneously, but her mother made it look easy. Everybody at the inn was eager to help, and for that, Yukiko was grateful, but there was one thing she couldn't do no matter how much support the staff offered, and that was entertaining the guests.

Her mother was a natural. She could coax a laugh out of the staunchest stone-faced customer with a single sentence. Yukiko's training helped her to improve in many areas, but she was still awkward around people. Other than be polite, she couldn't see herself as a host. It was a task beyond her abilities.

She was knocked out of her thoughts when she spotted Yu walking home by himself. His appearance struck her with a bolt of inspiration. Perhaps he could help?

"Leader!" she called out.

His head snapped to her, surprised by the shout out, and his eyes lit up. "Good afternoon. Another stressful day at work?" he greeted back.

Yukiko smiled shyly. The fact that he accurately guessed her situation made her feel warm. She wondered if his memory was just that good, or if he cared for her more than he let on. She shook her head; now was not the time to let daydreams lull her into an awkward silence. Yu was someone she could trust, so she had no problems going to him for help. That was the only reason she called out to him. "Um, can I ask you something?"

The silver-haired boy took a seat next to her and folded his hands. A brief wave of nostalgia hit him. This was how they first met outside of school. The more things changed, the more things stayed the same. He wouldn't have it any other way. "Of course. What is it?"

She fidgeted nervously. Just how was she going to say this? Forget it; she'd just say it plainly. "Am I funny?"

"How do you mean?" he asked back, perplexed. It was an odd question coming from her.

"Do I make you laugh?" she clarified.

"In what way?" he answered, still confused.

"I mean..." She sighed. His inability to reply properly was all the answer she needed. "Never mind. Sorry for asking you something strange." Her shoulders drooped in resignation.

Yu wouldn't let it go that easily. It was clear that this was bothering her. It was his job as leader to make sure she was okay. He had an idea, but he wanted to make sure that it was correct before offering advice. "When you say funny, do you mean like a comedian?"

Her eyes widened. Those were the exact words floating on the tip of her tongue. "That's exactly it," she confirmed happily. She hated trying to spell out things for other people, especially when it involved something embarrassing.

"In that case... No."

Instant KO! She was crushed. All her hopes and dreams…dashed, just like that. Where was the delicacy? "Really?"

"I don't think being funny fits your image." He meant it as a compliment, but the heiress didn't see it that way.

"I guess it's impossible for me after all," she said tiredly, feeling depressed.

He got the feeling that he missed the mark. "Do you want to be funny?"

She turned red. "When you put it like that..." It sounded dumb and childish, but yeah, that was the gist of it.

He thought of her as the type to laugh than make others laugh, not that the bar for setting off her laughter was particularly high, but she never gave any indication that she wanted to be an entertainer. To be funny seemed to go against her shy personality, but it did make a lot of sense. Shy people don't want to be shy, and the best way to be friendlier is to become funnier. "What is this for?" he asked.

"It's for running the inn. I can greet customers and act polite, but there's more to it than that. I have to be a great host as well. Unfortunately, I'm not very good with people I don't know..."

He didn't doubt that Yukiko would make a great manager, but her social skills left something to be desired when it came to strangers. Comedy was perhaps one way to fix that problem. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm not funny either."

When he thought about it, the ones who were funniest were probably Yosuke, Teddie, and Kanji—Yosuke because he's such a spaz, Teddie because he says ridiculous things without realizing what they really mean, and Kanji because he gets worked up over the smallest things. The common thread that tied them together was that they didn't mean to be funny; it was just a happy byproduct of their personalities.

"Is there a way to become funnier?" she wondered. She wracked her brain for solutions but never got anywhere.

"Why don't you wear those special glasses?" he asked, referring to the joke nose and mustache rims.

Yukiko began giggling at the mental image of greeting guests with that getup. "I c-can't do that," she squeezed out between her giggles.

Yu crossed his arms and hummed to himself, probing his mind for ideas. "Do you know any jokes?"

"No." And she regretted it. Obviously, the most natural step was to learn some jokes. Why didn't she think of that before? "Do you know any?" she asked eagerly. She needed to hear some examples first.

He wasn't expecting her to turn the tables on him. "Uh... Not really," he admitted weakly. The thought of making people laugh was hard to fathom. He was a rather grim character before arriving here. He only lightened up because of Yosuke, Chie, and the others. Besides, there was more to comedy than telling jokes. "You can tell funny stories too."

The suggestion wasn't any better. It required funny stories, which she wasn't brimming with, and even if she was, she didn't have faith in her storytelling abilities. "I don't know any."

"Remember our camping trip?"

She cringed. "Ugh. Please don't bring up bad memories."

It was horrible at the time, but he recalled that day with fondness. Bad memories tend to get funnier over time. He could understand her reluctance to use that story though. "Okay, so you can't do jokes and you can't do stories, what else is there?"

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. She should just give up. "Why is this so hard?" she muttered.

Yu was thinking the same thing. People shouldn't go out of their way to be funny, it should occur naturally. It required a quick and witty mind. When he thought about it, Naoto would probably make a brilliant comedian. Her intelligence was well-suited to snarky quips. "You should act clumsy and trip over yourself a few times. That should be good for a laugh."

"I can't do that!" she protested strongly.

And that was why he wasn't a comedian. "I wasn't serious," he sighed. He violated the first rule of a good joke: they should never have to be explained.

"Oh," she let out, frowning. "Sorry. I thought…"

They both went silent. What a miserable conversation. They had gone nowhere and instead reminded themselves of how terrible they were at making others laugh. He might've been overthinking this. How about going back to the basics? "Yukiko, look at me."

"Huh?" The odd request set her heart a flutter. She deliberately turned her head slowly, wondering what could possibly be in store for her. To her surprise, Yu had the dumbest-looking grin on his face. His cheeks were abnormally high, his eyes squished into slits, and his mouth was wide open with his tongue hanging out. "Hrnk—" She tried to clamp her mouth shut but the laughter burst through anyways. "BWAHAHAHA! What kind of face is that?" she squeezed out between gasps. To see the calm Yu with such a ridiculous smile was too amazing. He looked like a bad drawing by a five-year old come to life. It was over; she was a lost cause now.

He didn't know whether to feel embarrassed for himself or for Yukiko. What he did wasn't very clever, but she always seemed to have a soft spot for the dumb stuff—like Teddie. Her laughter was infectious though, and it was hard not to get caught up in her pace. He found himself joining her.

That was it! He figured out how she could make others laugh. "You don't have to be funny," he realized.

She calmed down when she heard those words. "What do you mean?"

"It's hard to be funny. It's not impossible, but it's not something people can just do. You're better off not trying." As leader, he never failed to provide such poignant and discouraging remarks. Way to comfort her, leader. "If you want to entertain your guests, you should just be yourself."

"Be myself?" she echoed. She wasn't sure how that advice would apply. The problem was that her normal self wasn't funny to begin with.

Yu nodded. "It's simple. Don't try to make the customer laugh, but let the customer make you laugh."

"Let the customer make me laugh..." She never thought of it that way. She always focused on being polite, but… "I don't get it…"

"Everybody likes to think that they're funny. When you laugh at their jokes, they feel good about themselves. Everybody wants to be a comedian," he explained. When Yukiko laughed at his dumb joke, it made him feel pretty awesome.

If that was the case, "Then did I make you feel good?" she asked. She went into fits of laughter a lot, but she never considered that it could make somebody feel "good." Suddenly, she realized how her question sounded. "W-Wait, I mean—"

"Of course. You made me feel great," he complimented, grinning.

Hearing that gave her a lot of confidence. She felt elated. Those words, coming from Yu, meant a lot to her. "I think—I understand what you mean now. Thank you for the advice."

"It's no problem. Just keep on laughing. It makes the world a better place," he joked.

"If you want me to keep laughing, then you should do more funny things," she shot back, feeling her troubles fly away.

That was more like it. Yukiko was a lot more fun when she was confident. "Way to put me on the spot. Let me think… Oh, I got one. What does Chie ask for when she's thirsty?"

"Uhh…" She had no idea. It was an intriguing setup, considering it involved someone they knew. "I give up."

"Watah!"

"Snrk." It was a dumb joke, very stupid, basic, and lacked any kind of sophistication. But… "BWHAHAHAHAHA!"

It made her laugh.

Good enough.

#persona 4 #fanfiction

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ultdete · 2 years ago

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Good money was good money. But this money — " heavenly " was nowhere near a good enough description for the number in front of him. Triple zeroes tailed the very satisfying number in their lead, a giant number five written in red ink. ❝ Five thousand dollars .. ❞ the detective whispers, mesmerized by the number. It had been a long time since he had so much money at once. He could afford to eat again, afford to pay the electric bill for the shabby apartment he lived in. Who knows, maybe he could soon afford a much better place! The idea itself felt euphoric, and he hadn't even received the money just yet.

With the promise of such an award, Shuichi set out on his search for the perpetrator who had this hefty bounty on their head. A bounty he had already convinced himself he'd claim. It had been a few months since he was given a case, and the lack of work was getting to him, it was unavoidable. Being one of the latest additions to his agency's team, all the good jobs went to the detectives who were used to the dangerous work, the best in the field. But this time, the chief cut him some slack. Whether this was good karma for something he did or not, he thanked every star in the sky for this opportunity. At long last, he was needed! ( If one could even call giving the runt of the litter one of the shittiest, unsolvable cases being needed. ) The case file slapped upon his desk was paper thin, not many details and leads inside to speak of. Atop the opening page, however, was " $5,000 " written across the top, circled in sloppy red ink. As the report discloses, there's been wind of a very dangerous, underground drug dealer making black market deals all over the West side of the region. Apparently this person is so good at avoiding detection, detectives and police do not even bother going after them. He couldn't blame them. By the looks of this pathetic case file, Shuichi could only assume they got so frustrated with the lack of details that they no longer considered this man hunt a priority.

An award such as this on the line, it was all the motivation he needed to get to work. Jumping from his work desk, Shuichi grabs his work coat off the rack and heads out the door with an unceasing gleam of determination in his eyes.

... It's been three days. Three days of what felt like endless sleuthing have finally lead him to a location of interest. The detective found himself in a province he did not typically visit. Leads and suspicion equally have lead him to one of the most upper class areas the province had to offer. ❝ Could someone so dangerous.. really be residing here? ❞ He'd ponder for a moment, but quickly trashed the thought. Of course it's possible. Secrets run deep, people are cruel. He has seen his fair share of the evil people do and what it can bring, no matter how trustworthy they are. Well, that was sorrowful reminiscing for another time. The more he explored the area, he closer he got to his prioritized location of interest. Eventually, he found himself standing in front of set of satin, red wine doors, matte black trim and golden doorknobs adorning it.

❝ Lapin de luxe. ❞

The sign reads like something straight out of a luxurious French ad, it's vibe very obvious. The cursive was beautiful, but the real eye catcher was the provocative sketch next to the club name's logo. A depiction of a male with what appeared to be a bunny suit hanging on to a pole was printed aside the advertised title. He had heard of these types of places before, but he had never seen one with his own eyes. This was very much.. a gentleman's club.

After taking a few moments to muster up the courage to enter a place like this, he made his way inside. As he ventured through the club's corridor, he admired the architecture. Everything looked so polished, so elegant, the complete opposite of what he had seen on television and in sleazy classic films. From across the room, beyond velvet curtains, cheering and whistling echoed from the inside. Male waiters in what appeared to the club's signature bunny uniform went in and out of the room, leaving Shuichi to only assume exactly what was going on in there. A passing waiter winks at Shuichi as he makes his way through, likely entertained by the detective's accidental staring.

He'd be lying if he said his curiosity was not tickled, but he was here for urgent business. A quick shake of his head was his best attempt to erase the thought. Treading further into the building, he scanned the room intently as he he made his way through. Halting his trail, something caught his interest — a bar. It looked like something straight out of a regal strip in Paris; it's polished marble tabletop reflected the beautifully dim lights hanging from the ceiling above. He recognized a few of the selections of the top shelf alcohol bottles from afar, his astonishment at the sight of them luring him in. Tucking in his jacket beneath his rear, he sits at the very middle stool of the bar. The bartender, polished and handsome, greeted him with a smile. His mannerisms were a bit strange.. He staggered. He seemed hasty.

❝ A black tea toddy, please. One ounce scotch. ❞

.. Two hours pass as the two exchange small talk that eventually turn into exchanges of stories. Shuichi's drink runs low, still on his first glass. Collecting his coat, he uncrosses his legs to turn in his stool, straightening his clothes as he stands back up. ❝ One more round if you would, bad habits call. ❞ He jests, placing a twenty dollar bill on the table as he pulls out his cigarette pack with the other, giving it a quick rattle as he smiled back at the obliged bartender.

Making his way outside, he waited until he was out of the bartender's line of sight before pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. It took a moment, but he managed to successfully type out a message with one hand, reading it over for any possible grammatical error for hitting send. In the meantime, to keep up appearances in front of passerby ( who could very well be potential witnesses ), Shuichi selects the most pathetic looking cigarette of the pack to tuck it in between his lips. He hated these things; the smell, the health risks. But for the sake of the case, just this once.

Agitation surfaces amidst his anxiety as he hastily stifles through his coat pockets, every single one. He swore he packed a lighter for this backup plan, where is it? Did he not pack one at all? Blending in with your surroundings during an investigation is one of the most important things when it came to wrapping up a successful case. He felt himself starting to panic, until .. —

Closed & plotted AU starter for @ultlie.

#case ii . audio records. ⌕ replies #⌕ au ; hold me closer tiny dancer.#ultlie #GOOD GOD I'M SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG. I got lost in the sauce.#had to add as much detail as possible. no other way around it. gomen.

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celtalks · 10 months ago

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Unmask the Fun for Free: Your Ultimate Guide to Streaming the New Season of "The Masked Singer" Without Spending a Penny!

'The Masked Singer' Unveils Its Latest Season: Here's How to Catch the Mystery–Without the Price Tag!

Mask up and get ready to play detective because The Masked Singer is back with a brand-new season! The hit reality singing competition, where celebrities hide behind elaborate costumes and wow audiences and judges with their vocal prowess, continues to capture imaginations—and this season promises more thrills, more surprises, and even more dazzling performances. But here's the million-dollar question: How can you tune in to all the excitement without spending a dime? Good news, sleuthing fans! Although the show airs on FOX, which can be accessed with a traditional cable subscription or through a digital antenna, there are plenty of ways to catch the show online completely free of charge. For the cord-cutters out there, streaming platforms like Hulu Live TV, YouTube TV, and fuboTV come to our rescue, each offering free trials ranging from a week to even a month. Just remember to cancel before the trial period ends to avoid subscription costs. For those who may miss the live broadcast, don't let FOMO get in the way of enjoying the show. FOX typically makes the current season of The Masked Singer available to stream on its website and mobile apps the day after it airs. Plus, as an added bonus, if you're a cable subscriber, you can use your login details to unlock even more content! Murmurs from behind the glitzy masks suggest that this season is set to up the ante with some seriously impressive talent and even more intricate and jaw-dropping costumes that push the boundaries of the show's unmatched creativity. While leaks and rumors circulate on who may be belting out from beneath those layers, every revelation remains under wraps until showtime. Chuning in live is always exciting, but the burning question remains: Can anything truly match the real-time reveal of a Masked Singer? Each unmasking is a pop culture event in its own right, inviting viewers at home to piece together the clues and guess along with the panel of celebrities. With an array of streaming options at your fingertips, you now have the opportunity to be part of that collective gasp and cheer, whether in the moment or a day delayed. As for some insider tips on how to make the most of your viewing party? Check out social media during the airtime for real-time theories and debates. Fans and detectives alike flock to platforms like Twitter and Instagram to share their hunches. Who knows? You might find yourself part of an online alliance decoding the mystery one performance at a time. From low-tech to high digital, nothing stands in the way of a true The Masked Singer fan catching the latest episode. Whether through free trials, a savvy use of streaming services, or simply waiting for the next-day upload, make sure you have your guesses locked in as the season unfolds. Before we know it, the final mask will drop, and the winner will take it all—it's a tune you won't want to miss. Read the full article

#free #guide #masked #penny #season #singer #spending #streaming #ultimate #unmask #without

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serialfirstdater · 1 year ago

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The Asian Aquaman

Not a dating story, hence the lack of numbering, but significant enough to have a post.

I was swiping on Hinge when I came across a very buff, long-haired Asian guy. He reminded me very much of Aquaman, except Asian.

I swiped right on him but saw he left his Instagram on his account. I went to check out his profile. I was thoroughly impressed by his physique and thought he was really cute from the photos he had online, despite the long locks. (I was on his gymming account, so it had lots of weight-lifting).

For the first time, I went ahead and liked a few of his Instagram images to see what happens. He immediately liked back and followed me within the next hour. Then we got chatting.

I quickly learned that he was NOT in Toronto, but from Montreal. He told me he came to Toronto every month because his company was in Toronto. He also told me straight off the bat that he preferred friendship first over dating.

Not how I would do things, but considering I approached him on Instagram and not the apps, fair enough. We kept chatting for days straight via Instagram, leading into the lates of night.

I was perturbed when I heard him speak in a video he sent me of himself. Despite the fact he looked like Aquaman, he sounded like the nasally-geeky kid that gets bullied in every high school movie. It was a bit of a turn-off but I decided to look past that. Not to mention he seemed so cynical about life. Like how the world was doomed and he was okay to see it go into rubble because the human race destroyed everything. I felt like I was talking to a high school emo kid throughout our chats.

After about two weeks of chatting, he revealed that he was coming into town (without actually asking to hang out). I hinted around meeting up until he agreed. Even though we were just "friends", I still wanted to at least meet a friend!

When I finally met him in person, the persona I had in my head died off completely.

His gym persona online was the complete opposite of him in real life. He had this toothy smile (that I actually don't like and now understands why he smiles with his mouth closed) and overall just this very meek and introverted personality.

Everyone that knows me knows that I am extroverted and have adopted many introverted friends. But if I feel it's a little tough to get you out of your shell in the beginning, it usually means we aren't compatible.

Regardless, I still wanted to continue chatting with him to see where things went. He went back to Montreal after and we chatted a bit more.

The convo came to a fade out after I found out that he didn't want children. Despite the fact that we were chatting "as friends", it was obviously not. I was still dissecting him to see if he would be a good partner.

About 2-3 months later, he ended up dating a girl he knows in real life (based on my internet sleuthing). She's probably a better fit for him anyway cause she seemed like the wholesome, no-frills type of girl. It suits that awkward, introverted personality of his. Again, if I closed my eyes and only listened to him talk, I just imagine that he is this really awkward-looking Asian guy that I would never consider dating.

So yup, this one went absolutely nowhere.

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1310miles · 2 years ago

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Forty one

My dear mother passed away on December 22nd. It’s no exaggeration to say that my heart was broken that day and that I’m still probably in a state of shock. Proceeding with normal life while you are grieving is an unsettling experience. I have felt off balance, as though I am functioning on two different plains. All this being said, I wasn’t in the mind set to run my next marathon on January 15th.

I arranged this trip back in September with my friend Lisa. Lisa is pursuing the goal of running a half marathon in all 50 states, and since we are both single travelers, she reached out to coordinate at least one trip together in 2023. It was far outside my experience to travel with another runner, but in the spirit of pushing my comfort zone, I jumped in. We were headed for a three day trip to Baton Rouge, Louisiana!

Right off the marathon I ran in Maine, I continued my training. My mom’s medical issues became apparent in early December, and despite traveling back and forth to Indiana often that month, I was able to keep up with my long runs and check my workouts off. Everything took a terrible turn the week of Christmas, however, and even though it would have helped my mental state, I wasn’t able to run for several days over a two week stretch.

Coming into January, not only did I not feel enthusiastic about traveling and running a marathon, I was nervous that my training hadn’t been complete. If it wasn’t for Lisa, I would have likely bailed on the marathon and the trip. But I had committed to her, and in my heart I knew it would be good for me to go, so I packed my shoes and lowered my expectations.

Lisa was so easy to travel with, and we had a great time getting to Louisiana. I even got some speed work in while sprinting to our connecting flight in Houston. We arrived late Friday, and on Saturday morning we got out for a nice run along the Mississippi River. It was incredible to see the sun shine after many dark days in the Midwest.

At the expo, we discovered that Lisa Way was not registered for the half marathon! She created quite a queue behind her while she sorted through what must have gone wrong. Through sleuthing, the expo volunteers finally discovered that when she registered, she auto filled her last name as her email address. We had a great laugh as we imagined her results being posted as “Lisa [email protected].”

Downtown Baton Rouge was sleepy and there were no interesting tourist attractions within walking distance, so the rest of our Saturday found us laying in our hotel room, reading and napping. Exactly what we both needed! We talked about our plans for the race, and based on the route map, we saw that we could run together for 11 miles. That’s where the half marathon would break off from the marathon.

Lisa was planning to take the race very easy. She is strong and fast, but she hadn’t trained hard for this race and wasn’t doing much speed work. She thought she’d run about 9:15 miles. I thought about starting and staying with her. But as I laid there, I couldn’t think of a compelling reason as to why I couldn’t run faster. True, my focus was shaken, and my training wasn’t 100% complete, but I had been running strong. Additionally, I find that if I don’t run “my” speed, my body feels uncomfortable and eventually hurts. If I started with Lisa at the speed she planned to go, I might find the race more challenging than if I pushed my pace and ran quicker. I decided my plan would be to start at 8:25 miles and try to keep up that pace.

Sunday morning we walked to the starting line at the state capital building. The sun was just coming up and Lisa and I were in our matching visors. We took off and quickly headed out of downtown Baton Rouge toward the garden district and LSU. For as non-descript as the downtown area was, the residential areas were amazing. I have never run through such unique, diverse residential architecture in any other race. I was so entertained by looking at all the different houses and admiring them. Also, it was refreshing to see leaves on trees and green plants growing.

We headed into the LSU campus, which was enormous. It looked like we were going to go inside Tiger Stadium, but we only ran around the perimeter. I was thinking about how wild and busy games days must be there. The campus was so spread out you would definitely need a car if you went to school there. It was miles from one end to the other.

As we came out of campus and back into a neighborhood, we circled a few lakes that just added to the beautiful ambiance. We rounded one corner and I was preoccupied with reading a spectators sign when I tripped on the ground at the same moment as the man next to me did the same thing! I recovered easily, but he almost fell completely onto his face. It was strange, there must have been a rise in the pavement right there, and it caught us both dragging our feet. Honestly, the roads that we ran in Baton Rouge were in terrible condition. Potholes everywhere. Worse than Chicago! The “falling guy” and I stayed about the same pace the entire race. I would catch up with him or he would catch up with me, but in general we were pretty much matched and laughed about him almost wiping out more than once.

I was cruising along, running around 8:25 miles consistently. My body felt good and the weather and course were basically perfect. The temperature lingered in the low 50s and the sun was out but not too bright. There were no notable hills, but the course wasn’t flat. There were slight ups and downs that kept my muscles engaged. Flat courses just feel tiring because you are using the same muscles the entire time. It was nice to not have to plan for some extreme hill late in the race, but it can be nice to have a great downhill to fly down. None in this race.

Running at such a consistent pace had me lingering around the 3:40 pace group. I never stuck with the group tightly, but they kept passing me and I kept passing them. The group was led by one male runner for the first half, and then he was joined by his friend for the second half. The new assistant leader seemed to simply provide relief from holding the “3:40” sign and to add some energy. They were both nice guys and seemed to know everyone along the course.

Around mile 20, the leader shouted “is anyone here doing their first marathon?” and some runners from the group said they were. Then he shouted “is anyone here doing the 50 states challenge?” to which I said I was. They were all boisterous when I said it would be my 41st state. A woman next to me said “have you heard of the sub 4 club? Because you are running a great pace!” and of course I told her about the people I met in New Hampshire, and that I’d have to run about 30 of my marathons over again to qualify!

I had engaged with this same woman a little earlier in the race. She was running in front of me, and I was looking at the back of her t-shirt. It had a picture of a chicken head and underneath, it said “teaching chickens how to read.” I became lost in thought…teaching chickens how to read!?!? How is this possible. What a very, very strange thing to put on a t-shirt. Looking up again, I realized that my exhausted running brain had completely interpreted it wrong. The shirt said “teaching chickens how to run.” Ok, yes, that’s still very strange. So I told her I thought she was teaching chickens how to read and how silly that was. She laughed, and then told me that she has a chicken sanctuary and saves chickens from slaughter and lets them live out their lives on her farm. I told her that perhaps she could try to teach them how to read in her free time.

The miles continued to add up, and my pace was holding strong. Spectators were really great during this race. Most of the course was through residential areas, so lots of neighbors had their lawns set up to cheer for us. Pretty much everyone was drinking heavily. One of the best lawns advertised a “Corona shot and a Kleenex” and they featured small cups of Corona beer. They were all having a good time, as I think people in Baton Rouge do almost every chance they get.

The finish line was back in downtown Baton Rouge, so as I came out of the final neighborhood, I could see the capital building and knew I just needed to make it there. My energy stayed high and when we were at 1.25 miles left to go, a runner said “only five laps around the track.” I liked that because that’s how I think a lot. I was glad to hear that other people do the same thing. About a quarter mile from the finish I saw Lisa, who had run the half marathon, gone back to shower, and had a coffee in hand. She cheered me on as I came through the finish line. I commiserated with the 3:40 group, the falling guy and the chicken lady, all of us congratulating each other.

Another 2nd place win in my age group resulted in another awesome medal! It could have been a big celebration, because all of the finishers were given SIX drink tickets to enjoy at the after race party. But Lisa and I needed to head for the airport and return home. We did celebrate with chicken and waffles though. I hope that chicken that I ate didn’t know how to read.

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the-unseelie-court-official · 2 years ago

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For those who don’t know, I am the technical admin for a Minecraft server. Now I have slightly above average skills with computers, but nothing to call home about, since computers generally act weird around me. That said I was the best equipped for it so me and @the-seelie-court-official started it up together, me for technical stuff and Dion for community stuff.

Now let me tell you about the Haunting on the Minecraft server.

One of the things I wanted to set up was NPC shop keeps. Now these shop keeps look like players, and I can code them to type in chat and to walk around, but they aren’t players. They aren’t counted in the server list, they only say the words I’ve given them. One of these Npcs was Herb, the Herbalist. They sold plants.

This was their skin, by the way.

Now one day herb stopped talking, this was odd so I tried to select them, like I had done so many times before, but it wouldn’t work. Whenever I tried I was met with error messages. I couldn’t select them, so I couldn’t delete them, I couldn’t move them, they had cut their strings and I the puppet master was forced to place an end portal beneath them and drop them into the void.

I thought this would be the last of it.

Fast forward a couple months and the server is up and running for public use. The players got into the end to find the end dragon missing, and upon building out to make an enderman farm we found herb. They were hovering, in the void. Easily accessible, I still couldn’t select them to change them or edit them so we just let them stay, floating above the yawning void that was meant to get rid of them.

Over time the server got more and more glitchy, chunks were being loaded by the thousand with only one or two people on at a time. After some serious sleuthing we (me and my team) found that the server recognized a ghost player. One that wasn’t listed when you pressed Tab, but was listed on the server side. The console of the server was filled with error messages almost constantly, cascading errors of Null, of Not Found despite the fact herb was right there.

Eventually it came to a head, the corn plants and slimefun crops went Wrong. Corrupted just like herb. And with fields of Steve heads staring back from what should be a farm we agreed that we would completely delete the world. The world that herb was in, that whole dimension. In hopes it would finally get rid of them.

We thought it worked, that we had finally be rid ourselves of this beast of my own creation. An hour later Herb Appeared at the world spawn. As if nothing had happened.

Finally I had to resort to burying them in a bedrock box directly under world spawn, because while I couldn’t move them I could break the blocks under them to make them fall. They sit down there trapped, vomiting error messages any time they are looked at or touched. Waiting for the chance to destroy what we have built.

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ceoofdestructix · 2 years ago

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ARCHIE SONIC AU - THE DESTRUCTIX

Finally there they are... made all the fixes i wanted, so I'm finally satisfied with the results.

Let's meet the mercs!

Sergeant Simian (HCs): he was the original leader of the Destructix, is the de facto leader and strongman of the team. He is basically a guy with a soul of an old man;

Predator Hawk (HCs): he is the long-range attacker/aerial offense of the team. Just a quiet guy who can take his hunting way too seriously (he's quite arrogant);

Lightning Lynx (HCs): he is the stealth/spy of the team. Due to all the events of SU#15, Fuzzhead lost all the self confidence he once had, becoming a serious, insecure guy ever since;

Flying Frog (HCs): they are the short-range attacker/aerial offense of the team. Their backstory is still a mystery... actually a lot about this frog is still a mystery, even for their own brothers of team;

Sleuth D. Dawg (HCs): he is the main negotiator of the team. He left the Destructix for a while, so he could chill out and enjoy his life (got married, started a family). He came back to the team because being a merc paid well (and he missed his comrades);

Drago Wolf (HCs): he takes many roles in the team. This narcissistic guy has been plagued by plain misfortune for treating Hershey so poorly. He dreams on overthrowing Simian and becoming the leader of the Destructix;

Scourge the Hedgehog (HCs): once was leader, now is just a private. Following the event post SU#32, Scourge took control of the Destructix, becoming leader. However, he was anything but an actual leader: he was irresponsible/arrogant, leading their team to exhaustion, and acting like a spoiled brat when his plans were a complete failure. One day, Fiona decided to drop him from the team (she was done with his BS). Scourge tried to take over Moebius by himself, only to get beaten by Suppression Squad and banned from Moebius by Alicia Acorn. Alone and humiliated, he had to do what he hated the most: to beg Fiona for forgiveness. She accepted him back (this doesn't mean he doesn't want to try to become leader again...)

Fiona Fox (HCs): the main leader of the Destructix (sharing leadership with Simian). In this AU, Fiona didn't betray the Freedom Fighters, she had a very brief relationship with Sonic (emphasis on "very brief"), and didn't slap Tails (in here, Tails just has a little platonic crush on her, cuz of Robot Fiona, that simply faded away). Fiona left the Freedom Fighters when she felt she didn't quite belong there, so she came back to her old days as a bounty huntress, reuniting with Nic and getting acquainted with other bounty hunters/mercenaries of Mobius. She started dating Scourge just for the thrill of being with a bad boy with huge plans, getting to hire (and late join) the Destructix to help Scourge out. After seeing how bratty and reckless Scourge was, she decided to drop him off during another failed plan of his, accepting him back months later (also they have an open relationship -> Fiona's decision)

#sonic the hedgehog #archie sonic #sergeant simian #sonic #lightning lynx #predator hawk #flying frog #drago wolf #sleuth doggy dawg #scourge the hedgehog #fiona fox #the destructix #sonic headcanons

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hmspogue · 3 years ago

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Outer Banks season 2 Official Trailer shot-by-shot rundown

A comprehensive post where I scream about analyze the entire trailer frame by frame for clues, theories, and plot. Just my own opinions and general tin foil-hatting

These are screenshots from Netflix’s trailer for Outer Banks season 2. I do not claim or own any of these.

note: this post is tagged as a long post if you wish to avoid having to scroll until your thumbs break.

“My old man used to tell me, ‘it’s best to never say you’ve hit rock bottom’.”

(Putting all of these shots together since they’re scenes we already know but-) Holy shit, okay let’s just....start off like this I guess, damn.

“'Trust me’, he said...”

Kiara looking back and forth between the boys like this really just feeds the headcanon I have that her form of grief this season is going to be her trying to hold it together for their sakes (and eventually just snapping).

JJ just looks fucking furious someone give these kids a hug? I already know this scene is going to ruin me.

“You can always go...”

JJ back working at the hotel. He looks literally so angry again in this scene I could see him self destructing at work and losing his job? (Please do not be isolating yourself you beautiful son of a bitch even though I know you’re going to).

Pope in the Twinkie (costuming wise they all are in warmer looking clothes for some of the shots, so just confirming it’s a little bit into the school year when this all takes place).

“Lower”

Big John was real big into pep talks, I see. (seriously can you imagine Big John having this conversation with like 8 year old John B after he fucking dropped his ice cream cone or some shit I shouldn’t be laughing).

I’m just-

These poor kids, I wanna know how the police all the way down in the Bahama’s knew about them?

Their calves....

“RUN!”

Are going to be so fucking jacked by the end of this season I stg.

Fuck you.

“The gold from the Royal Merchant....it’s here.”

For a while, I had thought that maybe they didn’t even make it to the Bahama’s at the front of the season and ended there (because everyone had been filming in there). But I guess they’re going to be making two trips.

If I were a bird from this POV I’d shit right on that house no questions asked.

oooooh ho hokay. Just so we’re clear. Ward Cameron not only get away with murder and about two dozen other felonies, but-

“Half a billion.”

HE STILL FINDS THE GOLD IN THE CRAIN HOUSE AND GETS TO KEEP IT?

Not the polo with the snap back, I just know this man has a playlist called Sad Boi Hours that is just Juice WRLD’s top 5 songs on Spotify and he tells his friends they wouldn’t know the underground artists he listens to.

Sh, you have lost screaming privileges. Go inside and take a nap maybe.

“John B, we are fugitives in a foreign country.”

So, previously, I was talking about how I was confused how they would still be trying to find him is everyone thought he was dead, but here the wanted poster clearly says “presumed lost at sea”. I think that will be interesting to see how the Pogues all interpret that.

Especially because they already had a memorial for John B and everything, I wonder if there will be any part of the Pogues holding out hope that they both could still be out there OUCH.

I’m going to circle back to this, but it looks like John B and Sarah are going to get separated for a little while in this man hunt, I could see my idiot himbo son trying to sacrifice himself so Sarah can get away but in reality just....stranding her.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid?”

Oh, sweetie....

“Well, Sarah Cameron, I do stupid things all the time without realizing it.”

The volume of his self awareness is astronomical. sir, that is your whole character summed up in your own words.

GOD, IT’S ME AGAIN. PLEASE LET THEM LEAN INTO COMPLETE HIMBO JOHN B THIS SEASON I’LL DO ANYTHING-

nyyooooOOOOOOOOOOOOM-

“Hold on!”

The complete abject terror I would feel having John Booker Routledge driving get-away and then saying the words “Hold on” while reaching fro the gear shift? The english language fails me.

Sarah, bestie, I’m so sorry.

I just wanna know-

what the plan or objective was in this situation. What was the reason for being this dramatic.

Rest in piss, bozo <3

“Ward’s still out there...”

Okay, same conversation they were having as before. I wonder what makes them decide they need to get back to the OBX for this tho.

“I can clear my name. This can all be over in one shot.”

It looks like Topper watching this but way more concerningly, correct me if I’m wrong but this 100% looks like....John B gets caught. And the DEATH PENALTY?! He did have a mug shot for the fliers in s1 and the one above but he was never brought in? Plus he just looks super dirty and dishevled in this one so I-

Jail break anyone?

I also still want to know if they’re going to go with a Topper redemption arc this season. like, does he know more than he should just from being around Rafe and his big fat mouth? Is he going to help out the Pogues even if it’s just for Sarah?

This shot just suddenly made me really sad. The thought of this all started because Big John left one last thing for his son to find, his literal life’s work. And when it all started, it was just a fun adventure John B and his best friends were going on together and having fun with. Then it all got dragged to absolute shit and turned into what it did, including the remaining 3 Pogues thinking that this treasure hunt took their two best friends away from them. And it’s nothing like Big John intended it to be.

Why my eyes wet?

Now we’re edging into what I was talking about earlier with John B and Sarah getting separated.

“If you think there is anything I wouldn’t do...”

Once again, John B is no where to be found. Also, just in case y’all didn’t already know or forgot Ward is an actual psychopath.

I believe this one of the new character, played by Jontavious Johnson (Stubbs). Based on the voice over it lowkey sounds like they’re implying Ward maybe hired Stubbs and Cleo to find and bring Sarah back. My theory would be I bet they do go to retrieve her, but she somehow convinces them that it would be more beneficial for them in the end to be on the Pogue’s side instead.

Miss Girl you gotta be keeping your head on a SWIVEL. Especially when you’re a FUGITIVE of the LAW-

“...you haven’t been paying attention.”

My guy, who are you clarifying this for?

It’s what you deserve for monologuing.

in all seriousness, the idea of them coming to face to face with Ward in Nassau after thinking they finally escaped him is genuinely terrifying.

“SARAH!”

It kind of looks like they’re either hiding their faces or covering their noses? I don’t know maybe it was from some tactic to get away from Ward.

What did I literally jsut say about yelling privileges, you unhinged mother fucker?

“I’m calling the shots now. I’m driving.”

The following progression of scenes made me actually snort-

“I can’t drive stick.”

PLEASE THE FINGER GUNS LAUNCHED ME INTO ORBIT I LOVE THEM, YOUR HONOR.

Alright, so now it looks like we’re in Charleston. This is the same scene with Heyward’s truck that got leaked from BTS (read: JJ and Kie shoulder touch).

One of the main things that stuck out to me in the following scenes which, you will see, is it lowkey looks like Pope is kind of heading up this part of the operation, or even going in alone? The following clips are just very Pope focused.

I don’t know what it means, it’s just an observation.

“John B was not the only one that Ward double-crossed.”

LIMBRY-

Bro, we have been hearing about this woman for literal months and I just have....so many questions?

Who the hell is she? How is she connected to Ward? Why is she in South Carolina instead of the OBX? How do the Pogues even learn about her and how to track her down? How is she meant to “help” them? GAH I JUST WANNA KNOOOW. I already know I don’t trust her though and no I will not be offering up supporting evidence.

Sir, that is my son please unhand him.

“I think you know what I want.”

.......no? But feel....free to explain yourself?

The print on the paper is the same one that’s on the ceiling tiles in the following scene. Obviously, with a key on it that most likely goes to the place a few shots from now.

Hell yeah, son, let’s get SLEUTHING.

“The treasure belongs to the Pogues.”

DAMN STRAIGHT.

Bestie’s I’m not going to lie, I stared at this frame for a solid 10 minuets and I have no idea what it says on there I’m sorry. Someone in the comments is welcome to enlighten us.

“We gotta find it first.”

I can’t tell if that’s just dirt or if he hurt his head? But he look GOOD right now for one thing. For another, same outfit as the one in the Twinkie from the beginning of the trailer.

Look at her. LooK AT HER! LOOK! AT! HER! I MISSED HER SO MUCH even in that damn smiley face top that continues to haunt my waking hours she is in it so much and it stresses me out for literally no good reason I’m sorry-

I could literally cry right now and I think that speaks volumes to how little we actually see him genuinely happy. Have I mentioned how much I love that red hat?

Also, probably not that important, but this is not from the same scene as the shots of Pope and Kiara were. This is from the next one-

“Woogity-woogity?”

“Give me some woogity, baby!”

Yeah, this pushed me over the fucking edge, the way that they’re actually happy and laughing? The fact that they kept woogity-woogity and made it A Thing? Yes.

I am, however, going to be intentionally ignoring what appears to be the very intentional stagingof having such an obvious space between where Kiara and Pope are sitting adn where JJ sits, even including the level they’re sitting on because I don’t have the emotional capacity to face those implications right now. Thank you for your time.

Yes yeeeeEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

GIVE ME ALL OF THE SCENES OF THEM ACTUALLY GETTING TO BE TEENAGERS AND JUST BREATHE AND LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME AND NOT BE RUNNING FOR THEIR FUCKING LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!

before Rafe comes in and literally starts shooting because they can’t breathe for more than 7 seconds but we’ll....get to that.

They refer to Sarah as a Pogue this season or I burn Netflix to the ground. Your move, Jonas.

50 bucks says John B is driving the Twinkie again for the first time since being back.

I deadass think the Pogues JUST got Sarah and John B back and they’re just having the time of their life. Kie was in her smiley face outfit when Pope was in this one a few clips ago, and I still hold to the belief that that one still they released of JJ and Kie hopping over a fence is the Pogue reunion so-

Ward? I have no idea what he’s looking at behind the wall paper and I’ll be so honest I don’t care my eyes are only seeing Pogue content right now.

“This is a map of the whole island.”

This fit, when will John B learn how to operate buttons, stay tuned for season 5. Also my previous theory of this being their reunion outfits and stuff because Pope is in the back in the same jacket as before.

The plot thickens and so has JJ’s hair, Rudy drop the shampoo brand.

Please, dear God, tell me they’re back in the sex church. For @jiaaraa sake.

Kiara, your Madison is showing.

Okay, I really did try but all I can make out is Something to the tomb begin something something.

You’re welcome.

I am no expert but I do not believe boats operate on land.

John B looks like he is in the same outfit here that is in his mug shot we saw on the TV screen so I have a sneaking suspicion this is where he gets caught.

“John B is back-”

Once again with the damn sexual tension that’s always between Barry and Rafe in every scene they do are we about to kiss right now?

“-it’s him or me.”

First of all, no.

Second of all, I’m just....so very confused about this time line this season. It kind of looks like Ward and Rafe follow and find Sarah and John B in Nassau (unless those scenes by the truck were actually back in the OBX). So did they....go to Nassau, then just come right back when they did? I’m just confused.

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.

Literally when will you stop at this point I am begging you.

This looks like the same scene the Pogues were, ya know, literally just having a good time at so fuck me, I guess.

Yeah, no, it’s going to be a no from me, I’m just going to pretend like I’m not seeing this and moving on.

I have simply no idea what is going on here or who that is on the bike but maybe JJ? Maybe Luke even? I think that’s JJ’s bike.

The sewer scene. The SEWER SCENE-

For months sicne that tiktok leaked this damn scene has been genuinely all I could think about. So (obviously) it seems like they’re sending Kie down into the sewer to go do seomthing and things go horribly, horribly wrong.

If you haven’t seen the tiktok, essentially all it was was JJ and Pope screaming and trying to lift up the man hole cover while Kie is begging for them to hurry from inside. I’m cheating a little bit as this isn’t a shot from the trailer but this picture was posted and it’s from the same scene.

I’ll just....leave this here. Back to the trailer shots.

Nice. Also, same shirt as mugshot.

Hey, um, what?

Kiara’s car, she’s driving, I can’t tell who’s in the back seat or the front.

Holy God what is going on and how can I as an audience member put a stop to it?

So, same scene as we will see and was in the teaser but, for some reason, they’re all jumping off of a giant ass boat into the little life raft where it looks like JJ gets hurt later but don’t you worry we’re getting to that.

JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE THEY BOTH LOOK SO DAMN GOOD AND THEIR LITTLE SMILES SPARE ME-

Cleo 🥵

I’m so excited to see her arc and what it brings this season you guys have no idea.

Please for the love of God be about to get Ward Cameron’s ass like he deserves literally punt him into jail right from Tanny Hill.

Sarah at My Druther’s with what looks like a bloody bandage on her side? Same outfit she’s wearing when they’re running from the police on the beach and she has the bandage there too so. Interesting.

Topper hugging who I’m pretty sure is Sarah, being a general douche because he’s clearly looking at John B like 😏

Clips like these serve to remind me just how many of my worldly posessions I would gladly give up to be able to punch Topper Thorton in the throat one time.

I think this is Cleo jumping off the boat with Pope after John B and Sarah.

Absolutely busting a lung at Pope’s form in this one.

John B and Sarah waiting in the life raft, still Cleo and Pope coming after them. The obvious next question is where are JJ and Kiara. The scene I’m sure you all have been waiting for is coming up and clearly takes place in the life raft as well.

So, I really think JJ and Kie get left for last, something horrible happens as they’re trying to jump (my head instantly goes to JJ maybe like pushing Kie out of the way and getting hit on the head instead or even just some accident).

And, oh my GOD a scene of him falling off the boat after it happens and Kiara diving in after him immediately, having to desperatly try to stop him from sinkingand get to the life raft holy shit-

Girl CATCH HIM?????

Because why wouldn’t this be Rafe’s fault. Part of me wonders if this isn’t related to JJ being hurt.

I am going to try and unpack this as calmly as possible because behind my computer screen I am vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass but respectfully.

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS TIAUEWFHLAILA

Okay, so scene wise, JJ’s hit his head somehow (probably while he was jumping with Kiara) it looks like and now they’re back on the raft.

In my opinion, this is either:

A) JJ is in really, really bad condition after getting hurt in the jump and they’re not sure he’s going to make it. So this is a “Please stay with me, stay awake, please don’t die” hug OR

B) They very narrowly just avoided a deadly situation (my first thought is JJ hits his head while jumping, passes out in the water, maybe almost drowns but Kie and the others get him onto the life raft in time) and this is more of a “Oh my God, you’re okay, you’re safe now, we’re okay” hug.

I honestly lean more to the second one based on the little bit of Sarah’s face we saw in the background. To me, it almost looked like she was smiling thru tears, which, fits way more with the second option than the first.

Anyways. Moving on before I burst a lung again.

(also, before anyone comes at me, no, I’m not happy JJ is hurt, obviously.

(Once again, arrest outfits). You can still see the bandage but it looks like Sarah’s limping now too so...good Lord give the girl a break maybe?

Everything in this trailer just went to shit so fast I think I have whip lash, can we go back to the Pogues hanging out and being happy now pkease I liked those scenes.

“I get it. You guys are scared.”

“No.”

She’s cute but, uh, hello sewer scene outfits. Seems like them planning to do whatever the hell they were going to do in the sewers but the boys are starting to get cold feet as maybe they should but hind sight is 20/20 I suppose.

“It’s kind of cute.”

“I’m not scared.”

“You should’ve just led with that.”

I will never be able to express how much I adore Pogue banter and general dumbassery and I have a feeling this season will not be lacking in either department

I high key don’t think these two are actually going to be there for this scene to go down but I’ll let it slide this time because-

They do be kinda cute.

It both feels like I’ve been waiting for this damn show for 3 years and also like I just watched season 1 last month explain that to me.

Either way holy shit. I missed this dumb show and these dumb kids so much it physcially hurts and WE GET THEM BACK IN T-MINUS 16 DAYS.

Also. Where The Hell Is Wheezie Cameron And When Will She Have The Rights She Deserves.

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twistedtummies2 · 10 months ago

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Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes - Number 17

Welcome to A Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes! During this month-long event, I’ll be counting my Top 31 Favorite Fictional Detectives, from movies, television, literature, video games, and more!

SLEUTH-OF-THE-DAY’S QUOTE: “I don’t believe a detective exists who likes to see his trenchcoat ruined…”

Number 17 is…Blacksad.

In my previous pick, I talked about Sam Spade – arguably the most quintessential of all noir-style detectives. Today, we’re discussing another noir-style detective, but a very…different one. Unlike Spade, this character is far more recent, and originates neither from novels nor the cinema…but instead from the world of comic books. I am referring to John Blacksad, the titular protagonist of the graphic novel crime series, “Blacksad.”

This series is the brainchild of two Spanish creators: writer Juan Diaz Canales, and artist Juanjo Guarnido. Canales has been a comic book author for many years, but never really made a big splash till “Blacksad.” Guarnido, however, is actually someone many more people will recognize: even if you haven’t heard his name, the chances are you’ve seen his work. From 1993 to 2004, he was an animator and layout artist for Disney! Among other things, he was one of the lead animators for two recognizable Disney Villains: Hades in Disney’s “Hercules,” and Sabor in “Tarzan.” His final project with the studio was a short cartoon called “Lorenzo.”

It was not long after Guarnido left Disney that he reconnected with Canales, whom he’d met many years before. The two decided to collaborate and create a graphic novel that paid homage to classic film noir crime stories and pulp magazines of the 1930s and 40s. This novel was entitled “Blacksad: Somewhere Within the Shadows.” The book was highly successful, earning several awards and being translated into various languages; the English translation, interestingly, was handled largely by comic book veteran Neal Adams. (May he rest in peace.) Since then, there have been three sequel tales, and a four-part tale called “They All Fall Down,” which has yet to be finished; only the first two parts are currently complete, if I’m not mistaken. There has also been a video game based on the series made, called “Under the Skin,” which tells a new story all its own; I have not played the game, but I have seen some video of it, and it does a good job capturing everything great about the comics. In the English version of the game, Blacksad is voiced by Barry Johnson.

As you can guess from the cover shown here, the conceit of “Blacksad” is that all of the characters are anthropomorphic animals. (And yeah, it’s easy to see Guarnido’s Disney background through his art in several places throughout the books…and I mean that in a VERY good way, because the art is AWESOME on so many levels.) However, this is not a kid-friendly or heavily satirical series. While there are moments here and there of meta humor, paying homage to and occasionally poking fun at various tropes of the noir genre, Blacksad takes itself seriously: it’s telling more or less dramatic noir-style crime stories, it’s just that the characters are covered in scales, fur, and feathers. Many have compared it to the somewhat controversial graphic novel “Maus,” where creator Art Spiegelman uses different animals to represent different kinds of people. This is SOMEWHAT similar, but I think it’s more appropriate to say Blacksad is what would happen if “Zootopia” had been Rated R. The fact these characters are animals is often part of the story and many details in it, rather than just a mask, so to speak. As a fan of film noir, it’s interesting to see how these stories play out, with legitimately surprising mysteries, dark secrets to be discovered, and many murders most foul.

As to the main character himself…Blacksad is a pretty typical noir detective, but for some reason he still manages to stand out from the crowd in a fun way. While he’s a cynical and sometimes grouchy guy, he’s also a charming ladies’ man, and has a sense of humor about himself as well as the rest of the world. One of my favorite elements of his character is how he seems to DELIBERATELY play up his own noir-esque elements: it’s as if he’s putting on this show for the rest of the world, in-universe, creating this very specific façade for others to notice. Out of universe, of course, it leads to some wonderful jokes, such as him getting peeved about his trenchcoat being ruined (a-la the quote I selected). The supporting cast around him is a lot of fun, too: most notable are his two best friends. First, there’s Smirnov, a German Shepherd police commissioner who has a long history with the tuxedo tabby. Second, there’s Weekly, a literal weasel of a journalist (with notoriously terrible B.O.) who essentially acts as Blacksad’s sidekick in some stories. Both are fun characters who adhere to classic tropes, while also being unique and interesting in their own right; again, much like Blacksad himself, and the series as a whole.

If you’re a fan of comics, a fan of detective stories and film noir, or a fan of seeing former Disney animators do very un-Disney things with topics like racism, the Red Scare, serial killing, and other unspeakable forms of nastiness…then definitely check out either the comics or the video game I mentioned earlier. They’re definitely worth your time.

Tomorrow, the countdown continues with Number 16!

CLUE: “We're smart people. So why do we always do things that make us look like we have the intelligence of beef jerky?”

#list #countdown #best #favorites #top 31 fictional detectives #gathering of the greatest gumshoes #number 17 #blacksad #john blacksad #comics #mystery #noir #video games

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autisticandroids · 3 years ago

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Okay so this was a while back but im preety sure you had mentioned an au of yours where dean is a serial killer and cas successfully stalks him but i don't think you talked about it more than that and i just really want to hear a bit more bc that idea sounds so tastefully fucked up

okay so. weeks later i finally end up answering this ask. it inspired this post btw. anyway spn is a show that's like. all about justifications, as i said in the post inspired by this ask. it's about having no choice and doing what you have to do. and like there is the phantasy embedded in it, a phantasy that is both indulged and punished. but most importantly it's justified. the monsters are super strong to show how brave our heroes are for fighting them, the main characters let out great wails of grief every time their lady loves are violently ripped from them (even though now they are free to do whatever they want), the narrative twists to show our heroes as correct whatever they do. the fantasy (of being allowed to enact violence, of being free from feminine "control," of being right) comes first. the material construction of the universe of supernatural comes afterward. whatever the fantasy is, the universe of supernatural will provide material conditions to justify its acting-out.

and what this means is that our protagonists, dean in particular, are constantly doing just horrific things, which in any other circumstance would be unconscionable. but the universe of supernatural provides justification for these acts. the point of my serial killer au which i think about so so so much is to ask the question: what if these justifications melted out from under their feet? what if dean was left holding nothing but a lie and the weight of everything he's done?

therefore, the premise of my au is such (under the cut because this baby is long):

john and mary winchester, in the mid seventies, joined a doomsday cult known as the men of letters. the men of letters were rather unusual for a doomsday cult, in that they believed that the apocalypse could be prevented by human behavior. this started as correct living, correct worship, yadda yadda, the kind of behavior and thought control that cults are known for, but with the justification of: if you don't do this, the world will end. eventually, this escalated to human sacrifice. the men of letters managed to untraceably kill two homeless people in the late seventies. but they eventually fell apart. however, a month after john and mary left the men of letters (mostly john's choice, mary still believed), mary died in a house fire. john took it as a sign from god that actually, the men of letters were right, and the world would end unless john himself did something about it. so he took some of the (intensely numerological) theology of the men of letters. and he worked out his own formula. and he applied it to the yellow pages. and started ritualistically killed people to prevent the apocalypse, with his two sons in the back of the car.

now, obviously, this is some kind of grief induced temporary madness on john's part, shaped by the mental abuse he suffered in the men of letters. but the thing is, once you've killed a couple of people to prevent the apocalypse. well. there's this thing called the sunk costs fallacy. john wasn't gonna question his own beliefs after that.

and he raised his boys to believe it, too, or at least he raised dean to. they didn't tell sam what they did until he was twelve, and sam didn't buy it, tried to call the cops on them several times but in the end, they always prevented him. eventually sam ran off to stanford, where he now lives under a cloud of guilt that he's too loyal to his family to rat them out.

john died a few years back of a heart attack, but dean is convinced it's because he messed up a ritual two weeks before it happened, so it pushed him further into this belief system.

dean's killings (and john's before him) are ritualistic and distinctive, obviously the same killer each time. but they happen anywhere in the united states, seemingly at random, there are inconsistent amounts of time between each one (sometimes as short as days, sometimes as long as years), and there is no particular victim profile. obviously, since our killers are following an arcane mathematical formula to make their choices for them, but the police don't know that.

castiel novak is an unemployed shut-in with a small inheritance which he's living off of, a cryptography degree, and an obsession with all things morbid. he spends most of his time on the reddit true crime forums, playing amateur sleuth. by complete chance, he happens to recognize one of the symbols frequently used in corpse displays by the so-called sioux falls satanic slaughterer (so named because the first time three of his victims were in the same part of the country, it so happened that they were all in sioux falls, south dakota. this was in the late eighties.) as being mostly only used by a little known cult group called the men of letters, which dissolved in the mid eighties.

he only notices this because, as a teen, he had a special interest in cults and fringe religious groups. the men of letters weren't a particularly notable or well known phenomenon; they were small, and a lot like every other cult that formed during the seventies cult boom. (no outsider ever heard about the human sacrifice; there were rumors, of course, but they were garbled, sensationalized, and mixed up with satanic panic fodder.)

(the men of letters' two sacrifices were nothing particularly romantic or fantastical. they first lured panhandler josie sands back to their compound with promises of food and a warm bed when she admitted she couldn't get a bed at a shelter, and was thinking of getting caught shoplifting just so she could be under a roof in the county jail. the men of letters' leader, a man who took on the name alistair, forced his inner circle to dress in the ceremonial black robes he had given them when he initiated them into his nearest and dearest, and which his wife had sewn out of old bed sheets and dyed black with home made oak gall dye. these robes still left black smudges on the wearer's skin occasionally if they sweated too much. josie was laid, bound, on the altar, a slapdash thing constructed over the course of two days from scrap plywood and a couple of milk crates. a rich red tablecloth purchased at macy's for $3.99 hid its ugliness and gave it grandeur. alistair attempted to kill the struggling miss sands by bringing a sharpened kitchen knife down on her bosom and piercing her heart, but, having never killed a human or even slaughtered an animal before, was unaware of the problem presented by the human ribcage. after rather ineffectually poking at the area beneath sands' bosom with his knife while she shrieked in pain and terror for about ninety seconds, alistair tried a different tack, and slit her throat, which worked just fine, and she bled out quite nicely. the second and final victim of the men of letters was a local vagrant named larry ganem, an older gentleman who walked with a limp. he was lured back to the compound in approximately the same manner as sands, but instead of being bound, he was fed stew laced with sleeping pills. even if alistair hadn't slit his throat, he wouldn't have woken up. it's actually arguable whether he was still alive at time of sacrifice; mary winchester (eight months into her first pregnancy), who, as a member of the inner circle, was in attendance, actually tried to take ganem's pulse as he lay on the altar (now covered by a different tablecloth; the red one had turned stiff with sands' blood and been subsequently burned) and found nothing, so it is entirely possibly only sands' death can be directly laid at alistair's feet, and ganem's is the fault of mrs. ellen harvelle, who prepared the laced stew. regardless, these two deaths are lessons in the nature of human evil: it is very rarely skilled, suave, or smooth. it's often slapdash, half-hearted, and just plain incompetent. but that makes it no less grisly. alistair may have begun to drink his own kool-aid, as it were, and escalated this far out of genuine belief that the apocalypse was coming and it was up to him to stop it, but it is far more likely that he sensed the imminent collapse of his little empire, and wanted to bind his subjects to him through the horrors of shared guilt, considering two lives a small price to pay for the continued loyalty of his inner circle. and the tactic worked: the men of letters didn't start to collapse in earnest until almost four years later. perhaps if alistair had continued the killings, the men of letters could have lasted for far longer, maybe even up until the present day. but it seems that alistair, a psychiatrist by training and unused to violence, simply didn't have the stomach for it. unlike, say, john winchester, who before his time with the men of letters had done a two year tour in vietnam, during which he had killed three living, thinking human beings with the american government's go-ahead.)

anyway. castiel is the first person, ever, to make the connection between the men of letters and the sioux falls satanic slaughterer. and once that connection is made, castiel begins to research the men of letters far more in-depth. and he notices something: the theology of the men of letters was intensely numerological, filled with patterns, significant numbers, and even spiritual equations.

castiel thinks of the seemingly random selection of the slaughterer's victims, and has an epiphany.

he cracks all his fingers, and gets coding.

six months. it takes castiel six months to discover an equation that could fit the slaughterer's pattern. it's complex, but also clearly based on several of the men of letters' holy numbers, and accounts for every single one of the killings. it also suggests that there should have been two or three more deaths scattered across the years, but more than likely those did happen, it's just that they weren't reported as part of the slaughterer's portfolio.

but much more importantly, castiel's model can also make predictions. there will be two killings, fifteen days apart, in a city seven hours' drive away, six weeks from now.

so castiel waits. and he books a hotel room. and two months later, he's waiting outside 217 oak street when a shadowy figure climbs up a tree and lets itself into the upstairs window.

dean winchester is feeling particularly all alone in the world when he breaks into maisey banks' home (217 oak street). his father has been dead for half a decade, and he hasn't spoken to his baby brother for twice that. it's not like this whole grizzly saving the world business makes him a lot of friends. so once he's done killing maisey (which is easy, she was ninety three and dying of cancer anyway. she doesn't even wake up when he slits her throat) and arranging her corpse in the appropriate manner, with prayers and sigils, he turns around. and sees a man standing behind him.

smiling slightly.

as he watches dean gut this old woman.

dean freezes.

the man takes a step forward.

"you're very attractive for a serial killer who's been operating since the eighties."

dean is silent.

"family business, is it?"

silence continues.

"i'm not here to report you to police. i'm just here to see if my algorithm worked right."

and dean finally breaks his silence: "what the hell is wrong with you?"

what's fun here is that dean knows (or rather "knows") that he isn't a serial killer. so he finds what cas is doing, this amoral serial killer stormchasing, morally repugnant. because cas has no way of knowing he isn't a regular serial killer.

there's also the fact that that cas proceeds to flirt with him. aggressively. and follows him back to his motel.

but the thing is that dean is all alone in the world. and as cas continues trailing him around, he starts getting, well, flattered. and feeling a little bit less alone.

it doesn't take very long before they fall into bed. even if cas is an amoral stalker with a fetish for what dean considers a distasteful yet necessary vocation.

so. they fall into bed. they fall in love. they make a little life together, in dean's big sexy car. dean tries to explain to cas that he's saving the world. that these people's lives are a necessary price to pay. and cas seems to listen.

of course, castiel doesn't believe a word of it. but he's found that he likes dean. really likes him. and he realizes that the collapse of dean's belief system would destroy him.

so he sets about becoming as complicit in it as possible.

even to the extent where, when dean is hit by a car and ends up into the hospital a day before one killing is meant to take place, castiel agrees to take on the job. (he doesn't actually kill anyone, obviously. but he does use his extensive skill with computers to create three fake newspaper articles which make it look like he has.)

but five years later, something goes wrong. really, really wrong. dean miscalculates the formula. and by the time he checks his work, the actual date of the next kill, as demanded by the formula, has passed. in fact, so have three others. and the world didn't end.

dean collapses. he hyperventilates. all those people. all those people. for no reason. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people.

cas seems totally unfazed. dean stares at him in shock. but cas just takes dean in his arms, and whispers in his ear: "oh, dean, i never believed in the equation. i love you no matter what you've done."

and dean buries his face in cas' chest.

#spn #asks #anonymous #abuse tw #violence tw

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