#finally!!! its out there <3333< /div>
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miscellanous headcanons about ginny. a list of headcanons ( particularly pertaining her relationship w/ her brothers and her career ) regarding her that idk where else to put.
• out of all the brothers, i would say ginny was particularly spoilt the most by bill, but only because their age differences allow bill to sort of... parent her when she was very young, especially when their mum had to care for the other siblings and their dad is working.
• this makes bill someone ginny really looks up to, with charlie being the close second ( on the account of charlie being the first in the weasleys to be recruited into a professional quidditch team, which catapulted ginny's own ambition later ). her dynamic with them definitely differs from her dynamic with fred, george and ron, whom she treats far more equally roughly to compare with bill and charlie, whom she treats with admiration and a whole load of respect.
• ginny's the least closest with percy and could sometimes feel a bit awkward with him because i don't believe percy, being so focused in his ambition, particularly reaches out to ginny a lot, though i do think they'd make more of an effort post-war, especially given fred's passing.
• while ginny's spoiled and adored by bill, trained under charlie, it is with fred and george she's rather playful with because i think the twins were really the first to acknowledge that ginny didn't always need to be pampered, but also, you know, someone you genuinely play with as siblings. there's still elements of them babying her, definitely, but otherwise, they do actively include her along their schemes if she asked.
• now with ron... that's ginny's physical and verbal sparring partner right there. she argues with him the most, but it is also him that i think she's closest with. he's that sibling in the family that she can randomly goes into his room, tells him he smells or smth, and then immediately asks him if he wants to eat the leftover food with her.
• ginny lives in the burrow after graduating from hogwarts, and even after having recruited into holyhead harpies. the option to leave the burrow was always open to her, but she would purposely chose to stay there in the account of not wanting to leave her parents "all on their own". i do think percy also eventually moved back in, which was what remedied their dynamic than the distant he kept up when ginny was much younger.
• ginny is an excellent chaser. growing up, she's always shown great talent in it, especially her reflexes, but it was especially harnessed when charlie ( whenever he could ) guided ginny quite early in how to move and chased after the snitch. so yes, ginny was initially "trained" in their backyard quidditch as a seeker, though it is only in school that she became quite fond of the chaser position and worked her way to perfecting her skills specially for that. as a back-up though, and within the family, she does fall back to playing the seeker.
extra headcanon: despite being recruited professionally, ginny can still never quite win against charlie in adulthood, especially if she plays the opposite seeker against him. ginny, i believe, sort of idolises the position — which is why i think she sort of readily accepts that she could never compete against great seekers, including charlie and harry, even if she has much potential.
• with that said, ginny works extremely hard on her speed and broom-manoeuvring. she's excellent in nearly all spells that would've helped her if she slipped from the broom or fell mid-air. she loves the thrill of scoring the most, because she's that quick, although it can blind her to bludgers coming her way, which has led to several of her famous injuries throughout her career.
• ginny will eventually be known for being one of the top scorers ( chaser position ) in the quidditch english cup by the time she is twenty-five years old. her signature moves are fast balls, followed closely with straight balls. by the time she's in her late twenties though, she would've perfected curve balls as well.
• in my headcanon, ginny worked towards wanting to be professionally recruited into the england team to represent them in the quidditch world cup. i'd like to think she did got in.
#ginny.#ginny; headcanons.#god this has been in my head for DAYS#finally!!! its out there <3333#wizarding world //
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SIIIIIIIIIIIGH well if you're still taking ocs then I GUESS Razz since Junipurr is already a thing ✋️🙄
YOUR LUCKY IM NICE. 👊💥👊💥👊💥👊💥
Warrior-fication under the cut:
Hummingpaw was born from two (ex)clan leaders after the abolishment of the old Warrior code and (insert warrior cats Belos here). Despite their parents being officially retired leaders, they still tend to garner unwanted attention solely from the fact that they are leader-born (But also cause junipurr is just mighty popular amongst the clans i guess). Not only was the attention incredibly annoying, it also causes their gifted “powers” to flare up unpredictably.
Ever since they were a kit, they’ve been having unusually vivid dreams that keep reccuring. They quickly figured out that, for whatever reason, these dreams seem to foretell incidents that will happen in the future no matter how big or small. But it didn’t stop at just dreams, throughout the day they would get visions of other clanmates future. As you could imagine it rapidly became overwhelming. But while they kept this information to themselves and their family, it didn’t take long until the clan found out about their secret.
It was a joyous day for the clan—Starclan has chosen this young apprentice as their guide! It’s clear to them that Hummingpaw was a gifted cat, their ��strong connection to Starclan” pretty much says it all. After they discovered their hidden powers, they were swiftly transferred to the medicine den and began training as a medicine cat… without asking how Hummingpaw thought of all of this.
Which ofc leads to alot of religious spite and hatred towards Starclan for “cursing” them, even if they dont show it 👍 and yeah theyre still gonna get the “seeing ghost/spirits” stuff btw cause thats actually a canon thing that happens in the books—one character even became a lil crazy cause of it !!! 😋
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OH OH OH and as a special bonus for ya- heres a slight junipurr redesign + vitimeow doodle teehee ;3 i wanted to design the parents first so id know how ill go about razz… i def had way more fun than i shouldve LMAOAOOAO
(The quality is kinda garbage but just bear w me ok 💔)
#HOOOOOHHHHHH GOD.#hhhfhhoooguuugughgghghhhhhhhh…..#welp *cracks knuckles* guess whos done with her exams!!! 🥳🥳🥳#IM FINALLY ABLE TO DO THE RAZZY REQUEST YIIPPEEEEEEEEE 🫶🫶🫶 HOPE YOU ENJOY THEM!!!!! <3333#also yeah thats a butterfly btw *wink wink nudge nudge*#*WHISPERS* BUTTERFLY EFFECT…. SYMBOLLISSMMM…………. OOOOoooOooOoOOoOOO….#anyways i need to snorkmimimi the fuck out its literally past midnight 😭😭 GOODNIGHTY TUMBLRRR!!!!!#and goooooddnighty iggy!!! 🫂🫂🫂🫂#warrior cats#warrior cats ocs
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(cw for a gun, mild blood and suicide in the last drawing.)
Day 1-5 of drawing Re:Kinder daily for a whole month! I'll be doing that all month. ☺️
I did not draw Re:Kinder enough (said both sarcastically and genuinely, because while I know the statement is ridiculous I also do believe it www), so I chose to challenge myself. I will post these every 5 days to not clog the tag too much.
#re:kinder#rekinder#fanart#hiroto yamakawa#rei suzumura#aya hibino#sayaka akatsuki#ryou shimoya#takumi katsuragi#shunsuke takano#yuuichi mizuoka#AND CHIE!!!!!! :3333#now... commentary...#for the first one i tried doing the proportions a bit more realistic than the chibi like ones i usually do !#although it comes with the worry they may seem like teens in contrast of how i generally draw them^^;... i hope they still look their age😢#second drawing is based on an idea from my sister that hiroto’s more responsible attitude comes from taking charge more than he should-#-due to his parents both being depressed. so i tried to express that idea somewhat... its more speculation than anything but still#third one is HORROR MOVIE TIME!!! this one was very funny to me because i dunno whos house theyre in but ryou looks right at home www#certainly not takumi's because that breaks the law children have of “its MY house so if i dont want to watch this movie we wont watch it”#fourth is SHUNSUKE VS THE SCHOOL TESTS!! based on him throwing out his school tests on the trash as mentioned once ingame.#in case it isnt clear the 12 is a 12 out of 100... im afraid i dont know how to make it clearer😓.#chie originally wasnt meant to be there but the compositions i came up with felt boring otherwise. so she was brought in to fill in the voi#final drawing is here to remind you this is a horror game about mentally ill children i am so sorry#im aware it is a bit jarring compared to all the (mostly) fluff but the rng said it was a yuu day he doesnt get any fluff#ah yes sorry spoilers he wont be getting any fluff there will not be a single drawing where he feels joy😭 i am sorry for this#this is because the ideas i never really got to draw (that are here) of him are the sad ones because i feel such a pity drawing him that wa#but i had to get to them eventually because i did want to draw it anyway but i was going to keep stalling them if i didnt do em here#so sorry no happy yuu the whole month😢#anyway i may redraw one of these later down the line (when its no longer august).#i do these with time limitations so i dont get to push them to bigger steps but if i feel one should get one i may redraw it LATERRR
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look ik it's been said and done a thousand times already, but please leave your thoughts on tags or, at the very least, reblog.
writers spend a lot of time writing and proofreading their work. it would make our day if you could leave your thoughts (whether in the tags or asks or replies), it makes us feel so giddy and fuzzy!
#im not saying likes is a bad thing#not at all#its just that smts is sucks to only see likes in your notif and literally no one reblogging or leaving their thought lmao#and dont get me wrong- i am so grateful for every single one of you#every single note rb tag is like <3333#but this has been sitting for a while w me so i just had to let it out iahsjshs#ive seen a lot of writers struggle with the same thing too so this is me finally saying smth hehe#to the lot of you who never fail to leave tags on my work#i ADORE you people sm#mwah kisses and hugs and everything in between#— ; rin speaks
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“Don’t let this go to your head, Pres,” he began, “but I really want to kiss you.” // “I had to do it. At least once,” Yeonjun whispered, not moving at all either. He was searching your expression for signs of something, you didn’t know what, but when he didn’t find it he let you go. Neither of you said a single word to each other during the entire hour-long bus ride home.
mr. vice president // yeonjun
Choi Yeonjun was an ace, and everyone knew it. He was a star athlete, top student, creative genius, school vice-president, and prom royalty. The only person who even came close to his level was you.
at a glance: gender neutral reader, rivals to lovers, high school au, fluff, angst, ft. soobin, beomgyu, aespa's karina and winter
words: 7.3k
warnings: shit tonnes of swearing, brief mention of sports-enforced dieting (not weight related)
——————————
You liked being the best, and you were good at it.
Your list of titles and achievements was long for your age: President of the student council, most promising player on the basketball team, and top performer in every exam season. In any metric you could name, you were always in either first or second place.
The person you had jockeyed for first with for the last four years was none other than Choi Yeonjun, the golden boy, the unstoppable force to your immovable object.
He was the most promising player on the football team. As your Vice-President, you two were the highest-ranking student leaders in the school. Perfectly and equally matched in academics, you both constantly oscillated between the two top spots on the yearly grade rankings. You could’ve been a high school power couple had it not been for one thing: you hated each other’s guts.
Your rivalry was well known throughout the school, although most people saw it as just a mildly petty competition. No one would ever expect such capable, talented, and hardworking students to indulge in that sort of immature behaviour. The only people who knew the true extent of your animosity were your kids.
You and Yeonjun called the other student council members your kids, and they in turn called you both their parents. On the administrative side Yeonjun had under him Soobin, the general secretary, and Beomgyu, the treasurer. On the operations side you led Jimin, head of logistics, and Minjeong, communications and liaison officer. Of course, you two had also fought over who would take admin and who would take operations (the kids voted in the end). Sometimes when you and Yeonjun were acting up too much, one of them, usually Soobin, would say, “Not in front of the kids!”
But as co-leaders of the student body, your school’s star athletes, and joint cohort-toppers, you had a lot in common with each other. Maybe that’s why you disliked him so much: he reminded you of yourself.
——————————
You and Yeonjun were indeed busy bees. Your school days started earlier than everyone else’s, because you were in charge of the morning announcements and had to get ready before assembly. During breaks when the others got to relax or nap or eat you had disciplinary duties, not that either of you ever actually disciplined anyone (snitches get stitches, even for the golden kids). You also finished school later than most; being in the Excellere class for gifted students meant extra, harder, and longer lessons. After Excellere, you both had sports practice two to three times a week. If it was competition season like it was then, you had practice every day. In between commitments you were always stuck in meetings with him and the rest of the student council, or with him and the school principal.
Since school was just about all you did, that meant you were with Yeonjun for nearly every waking moment of your life, barring weekends. And sometimes not even that. You spent far too many of your precious weekend hours with him, either on Zoom calls or representing your school at external events.
“Good morning, Pres,” Yeonjun greeted that morning, punching your arm as he waltzed into the front office like he did every day. He always called you Pres. Never your name, just Pres. You hated it, and you’d told him as much more than once. That only made him do it more. He pointed at the hot pink post-it note on the announcement book. “What’s this?”
“The Spring Festival ticket sales announcement. Jimin finished setting up the website last night,” you told him. “Minjeong says we can start making the announcement every week, and she’ll put it on the school socials after assembly today.”
“Why can’t you do it?” he asked.
You folded your arms. “Because it’s not my job. She’s our communications officer.”
“What is your job, then? You seem pretty free to me,” he said.
“You’re one to talk. Are you still bitter about losing to me, Mr. Vice President?” you taunted, pointing to his student council badge. It was silver and read ‘student leader’, like all the other members’ badges, while yours was gold and read ‘president’.
“We all know I’m equal in rank to you. The President/Vice President distinction is just a formality,” he retorted, but you knew he had been disproportionately upset by the badge thing when you were both sworn in.
“A formality you gave up being football captain for, and still lost,” you teased. It was childish, but you stuck out your tongue at him anyway. He seemed to bring that out in you.
Student council Presidents were not allowed to hold a second leadership position, so he had turned down the captain role offered to him because he had expected to be appointed President. It was either him or you, that much had never been in question, but he’d gotten cocky. You remembered him being absolutely gutted about losing the presidency to you, not least because he hated the boy who ended up captain. You, however, didn’t really care about your position on your team as long as you got to play. You did, though, care about beating Choi Yeonjun.
“I’m still the best player on my team,” he countered, defensive and equally childish.
“So am I, genius.”
“I am a genius, aren’t I, Pres? That's why I came first in our latest Excellere ranking.”
You were just about to answer when the principal entered the office. It was almost time for assembly to start. As petty as you both were, you knew better than to fight in front of faculty. Yeonjun, having gotten the last laugh, glanced over at you and winked obnoxiously. You’d get a chance to get back at him later.
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Whenever Yeonjun winked or smirked or rolled his eyes at you, you were reminded of the infuriating fact that he was, undoubtedly, extremely good-looking. He was the golden boy, after all, and it was only fitting for that status to extend to his appearance too. Tall and fit, with gorgeous eyes and the stutter-inducing confidence of someone who knew they were attractive. Other students sometimes greeted you both as you walked around the school (neither of you were that popular in the traditional sense of the word, but you were well known to say the least) and he could often make them swoon with just a smile.
But he didn’t date. In fact, as far as you knew, he’d never dated at all, nor even spoke about it. He was too busy for love, something that no doubt caused heartbreak throughout the whole school.
You were the same: you had no shortage of suitors but no interest in frivolous relationships that would only distract you from your duties. Your immature rivalry with each other was just about the only non-important thing either of you allowed yourselves to partake in. You had places to be, battles to win, things to achieve.
That was a mantra you found yourself repeating in your head more and more these days. You were starting to wonder what was even the point of pushing yourself this hard. Maybe you were burnt out.
Yeonjun nudged you with a smirk when he noticed you nodding off. “Tired?”
“I’m fine,” you said, resolute, sitting up straighter and squaring your shoulders. As much as he got on your nerves, he was also the closest thing to a friend you had in Excellere. You sat together in nearly every class.
He snorted, amused. “Are you sure, Pres? Because class is over,” he said, pointing to the clock at the front of the classroom. Sure enough, the teacher and all of the other students were gone. It was just you and him.
You pushed him to hide your embarrassment. “Whatever. Move, I need to get to practice,” you said, grabbing your bag.
He pushed you back, hard enough to knock you back down into your seat so he could get up first. “Me too, sleepyhead. You’re not special,” he mocked, swinging his own bag victoriously over his shoulder with a triumphant smirk.
“I never said I was. Unlike you, I don’t have an inferiority complex,” you retorted, standing back up and rushing out of the classroom. You were not the type of person to fall asleep in class, and you sure as hell weren’t going to stick around to give him the chance to remind you of that.
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By the time practice ended, you could barely keep your eyes open. It was past 10pm now, and you sat at the bus stop in your basketball uniform, knees pressed to your chest. Your teammates had all gone home, but since you always missed physical training due to Excellere, you had to stay behind and complete your three kilometre run after practice.
“Hey.”
You cracked one eye open to see Yeonjun standing in front of you, hands on his hips, peering down at you curiously. You immediately sat up straight, blinking a couple of times as if that would erase your tiredness. “Why are you here?” you asked.
“It’s a public bus stop, and I’m a free man,” he said, pushing you aside so he could sit down next to you.
“Yeah, exactly. It’s a public bus stop, and there’s plenty of room elsewhere,” you scowled, pointing to the abundance of empty space on the bench aside from the spot right beside you. He winked in answer. “I mean why are you getting the bus? I thought your mom usually picks you up.”
He shrugged, balling up his navy blue football jersey and holding it out to you. “She’s busy tonight.” You stared at the jersey in confusion. He scoffed and shoved it into your arms. “Is your brain broken? Put it on.”
“No, gross. It smells like your sweat,” you said.
“Ungrateful bastard. I can see you shivering.”
You shoved it right back to him. “You wear it then, if it’s so cold.”
“Fine.” He yanked it back and put it on, even though you could tell he hadn’t yet cooled down from his practice. His chest was still rising and falling faster than usual, the veins on his arms were still sticking out, and there were still beads of sweat on his forehead plastering his hair to his skin. Idiot. “Do you always take the bus home alone? What about your teammates?” he asked, looking around. It was dark, and he’d never taken the bus at this time of the night.
“They finish before me. I have to make up my PT because of Excellere. Don’t you?” you asked. He nodded. It seemed like you both were always the first students to arrive at school and the last students to leave. You took your phone out to check the bus timings. “Which bus are you waiting for?” you asked. Yours was coming in a minute.
“I don’t know,” he said, stubbornly pretending like he wasn't overheating in his jersey.
“You don’t know? Have you never taken a bus before?” you mocked. “Well, I suppose that’s what happens when you’re chauffeured around everywhere.”
“Fuck off, Pres. Of course I have,” he countered, defensive. “I take 47 home sometimes.”
“47 doesn’t run this late. You’ll have to take mine and get off two stops after me,” you said, not really sure why you were helping him. He had Google Maps and thumbs, after all.
Right as you said that, that very bus arrived. You flagged it down and rushed on board, not bothering to check if he was following you. He was, and he again sat down next to you in the back of the empty bus with a satisfied grin.
You sighed and looked out the window as the bus started to move. “Can’t you sit somewhere else?”
“No, I cannot,” he said, pulling up the sleeves of his jersey instead of just taking it off like he clearly wanted to do.
“You’ll catch a cold if you keep wearing that and sweating in it,” you told him. The bus was freezing.
“That’s not how colds work,” he shot back, immediately pulling his sleeves back down. “For someone who bangs on constantly about how good they are at biology you’d think you’d know that colds are caused by pathogens.”
You took your headphones out of your bag and plugged them in. “Fine, then. Stew in your grubby discomfort.”
He said something else, but you pretended not to hear him, continuing to look out the window. The rest of the bus ride went by in silence, until:
“Hey,” he said again for the second time that night, knocking his knee against yours. You ignored him. He yanked your headphones out of your ears in retaliation.
“Ow!”
“What’s the matter with you today? Why were you falling asleep in class?” he asked, holding your headphones high above his head, out of your reach. During a momentary flash of self-awareness it occurred to you that you were both far too old to be acting like kindergarteners. You couldn’t imagine what the principal would think if she knew this was how her two star students behaved in private.
You narrowed your eyes at him, preparing to be made fun of, and stood up briefly to snatch them back. “Why do you care?”
“I want to know if you’re sick so I can avoid you,” he replied.
“No, I’m on a caffeine ban,” you answered, somewhat reluctantly. He raised a questioning eyebrow. “Our coach puts us on diets before competition season to make sure we don’t get sick. No caffeine, no sweet drinks, no fried food.”
He laughed, completely unsympathetic. “And you still lost last year?”
“We came in second at nationals,” you retorted, “while I seem to recall your team didn’t even make it to regionals.”
“At least we get to eat whatever we want,” he said, knowing it was a weak comeback even before he said it. Last year was a bad season for the football team; they lost to a school they should’ve easily been able to beat and didn’t even get the chance to compete regionally. You had teased him mercilessly for it ever since, just barely stopping short of bringing your national silver trophy to school and putting it on his desk. Or carrying it into a meeting with him and using it as a drinking cup.
You reached over and pushed the stop button on the handrail behind him. “Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the deafening sound of all of my medals clattering together. Move. It’s my stop.”
Annoyingly, he didn’t move, forcing you to climb over him to get out and off the bus. He flipped you off as the bus drove away, and you flipped him off right back.
——————————
Two days before your basketball championship, you’d finally admitted to yourself that you were not doing well. All the practices, student council meetings, and weekly Excellere rankings were starting to get to you. Your school days were fifteen hours long, your nights and weekends lost to studying or catching up on the meetings you and Yeonjun missed while in class or at practice. Which was frustrating, because it wasn’t like you hadn't gotten through these things before. You didn't know what was wrong with you this time.
“What’s with all that stuff?” Minjeong asked, watching you force a towel and a bag of toiletries into your locker and slam the door closed before they fell out.
“Yeonjun and I are staying late today to go over the work you guys did this week, so I need to shower here after practice,” you said. “We’ve missed way too many meetings.”
“Yeah, because you’re both busy. His championships are tomorrow and yours are the day after. Can’t it wait?” Jimin said.
You shook your head. “No, you guys are already doing work that’s meant to be ours.” You paused for a second for comedic effect. “Besides, I hope he’s tired after tonight so he loses tomorrow.” They both laughed.
“As expected of the golden kids,” Minjeong said, giving you a hi-five. Yeah. As expected of the golden kids.
——————————
It was 11pm, and you and Yeonjun were sitting beside each other in an empty classroom going over the minutes from the last three student council meetings. His hair was wet from his shower and he hadn’t bothered to get dressed fully, with too many buttons undone, an untucked shirt, and his tie nowhere in sight. You stopped taking notes.
“Can you please put your uniform on properly?” you asked.
He snatched your pen and notebook away from you to add in something you’d been fighting over for the last ten minutes. “Why do you have yours on like that, with everything all done up and tucked in? There’s literally no one else here.”
“You look unbecoming,” you said.
“I’m comfortable. You should try it. You can’t convince me you like wearing your tie and buttoning your shirt all the way up like that,” he said, pointing the pen at your collar. When he was done writing, he looked up at you in satisfaction and smirked, arrogant. “Or am I distracting you?”
You would never admit it, but he was right. On both counts. He was distracting you. “Is Soobin okay? He’s been doing a lot lately,” you asked, ignoring him, looking over your notes again. If there was anything that could get you and Yeonjun to stop bickering for even a second, it was talking about the other council members.
“I think he’s a little tired. Once we’re both done with our competitions we can start pulling our weight more,” he said, humming thoughtfully, as if you both weren’t already doing as much as you could. “But you’re right, the kids have been working hard. We’re not being the best leaders right now.”
“Yeah, we’re not,” you sighed, thinking about how you’d seen Jimin online past midnight a few days ago. You should be doing more.
Yeonjun kicked you in the shin under the table, ignoring your hiss of pain. “You know who’s not okay? You. You’re fucking out of it these days.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m fine,” you scowled. “You’re the only person who thinks that.”
He rolled his eyes at your pride. “Yeah, but that’s because I know you better than anyone.” You scoffed at that, but he continued, “Seriously, Pres, who else gets you like I do?”
“Who are you, Sigmund Freud? Stop psychoanalysing me,” you said, glancing over your notes one last time, checking to make sure you had covered every point in the meeting minutes.
“So you think I’m smart?”
“No, I think you want to fuck your mom.”
He relented after that, a type of mercy he didn’t afford you very often. You wondered, then, if you really were as not okay as he was claiming. How had he been the only one to pick up on it? No, you were fine. You were fine. There was nothing to pick up on.
The two of you worked in near-total silence for the next couple of hours. That was a pretty standard affair, once you’d both exhausted your barbs and witty comebacks and didn’t have anything else to say to each other anymore. What wasn’t normal, though, was that you weren’t even being bitchy to each other in the comments of your shared Google Doc as you wrote your emcee script. The thought of Choi Yeonjun, of all people, noticing- you were fine.
“We still need to finalise the event schedule for review by tonight,” he reminded you, breaking the silence. You’d completely forgotten about that, and you never forgot anything.
“I’ll do it. You have your match tomorrow,” you volunteered.
“How charitable of you, Pres,” he said, giving you snark instead of gratitude. You didn’t have it in you to retort, although if the kids were around you probably would have. He raised an eyebrow. “What, no comeback?”
Checking your watch, you mumbled, “It’s past 1am. Let’s just finish this script and go home.”
He looked closely at you. You were being weird, he was sure of it now. He could see the resignation in your eyes, the only sign you’d shown in the four years he’d known you that maybe you weren’t quite as untouchable as you appeared.
“Hey, seriously, what’s wrong with you? I can’t have you breaking now and leaving all the work to me,” he asked, sounding sincerely worried about you for the first time in his life. He had never thought of you as someone who needed to be worried about.
“I’m fine,” you insisted through gritted teeth, “I just-”
You glanced up at him, which was a mistake. The moment you saw concern (of all emotions) on his face, you cracked. You hadn’t cried in front of another person since you were eight years old and broke your leg in a car accident, but now there were tears in your eyes threatening to spill over. Immediately you blinked them away, hoping he would just let it go. Unfortunately for you, however, he had other plans. He laughed and put his arm around your shoulder.
“What are you doing?”
“Comforting you, dumbass.”
You shrugged his arm off of you, clearing your throat in a futile attempt to ease the knot you felt forming at the base of your neck. “I don’t feel comforted.”
He scowled, leaned back in his seat, and crossed his arms. “Well, then, talk to me.” His tone was so solemn and authoritative that it made you comply immediately.
“People keep asking me for things and expecting me to be able to do everything and saying that I’m capable of anything but I’m a fraud. I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m so tired and I just want it to stop.” At some point during your outburst you’d started to cry, though you weren’t sure when, because his arm was back around your shoulder and he was palming away the tears on your face with his free hand. He hooked one foot around the leg of your chair and pulled it closer to him.
“You’re not a fraud,” he said under his breath, his eyes staring straight into yours and his hand warm against your cheek. You didn’t know why he was being so kind to you, and, more confusingly, you didn’t know if you wanted him to be. Which was mortifying.
Through the sheer power of your embarrassment, you willed yourself to stop crying. “I’m fine. You can let go of me now,” you told him, looking away.
“Right.” He seemed to snap back to normalcy at the same time as you, moving back and dropping his hands. You both got back to work like a switch had been flipped, aggressively avoiding each other’s gazes.
——————————
It was nearly 2am by the time the script was finished.
“You shouldn’t stay up to do the event schedule. We’ll just tell the school we need more time,” Yeonjun told you as you both started packing up. His words, for once, were void of arrogance or mockery. It made you anxious in a way that was entirely foreign to you.
“Don’t look at me like that,” you grumbled, turning away. You hated having to ask for more time, to not deliver something you were meant to deliver.
He grinned. “You mean like this?”
Before you’d had the chance to insult him or tell him to knock it off, he took you by the shoulders and stared right at you, his face just inches from yours.
“What the fuck are you doing?” you asked, but your nervousness slipped through in your voice. He smirked, having heard it too.
“Don’t let this go to your head, Pres,” he began, “but I really want to kiss you.”
You rolled your eyes, trying to ignore your quickening heartbeat. “Yeah, whatever. You think I’m hideous. We’re gonna miss the last bus-”
His lips were on yours without your brain having even had the time to process what he’d said. One of his hands shifted down to your waist while the other moved to your jaw, tilting your chin up slightly. Your own hands instinctively came to rest on his chest, and you found yourself kissing him back without thinking. You could feel his heart hammering through his shirt. He was the first to pull away.
Frozen, you could do nothing but stare at him, with your eyes wide and lips still slightly parted. “What-”
“I had to do it. At least once,” Yeonjun whispered, not moving at all either. He was searching your expression for signs of something, you didn’t know what, but when he didn’t find it he let you go. Neither of you said a single word to each other during the entire hour-long bus ride home.
——————————
What a dickhead. How could Yeonjun go from kissing you to ‘idk about pres’ that seamlessly? He had been so kind, so sweet to you that day. You purged that thought from your head as quickly as it had come.
“There’s our president!” Beomgyu cheered as he let you into the meeting room, and the others broke into applause.
“Congrats on winning your finals yesterday!” Jimin added, still clapping.
You closed the door behind you. “Thank you! Sorry for being late,” you said. “I promise I will not miss a single meeting now that my comps are over.”
When Yeojun eventually showed up, he barely looked at you. You didn’t really know why that upset you as much as it did, or what you had been expecting. Once you all started working, however, you quickly fell back into a familiar rhythm along with the other council members.
“Where’s the chit from the popcorn machine vendor?” you asked Beomgyu, sifting through the stack of papers on the desk.
Beomgyu looked up from the printer that he and Jimin were trying (and failing) to get to work right. It was currently spitting out black and white pages that looked like they had been printed in Hell on a Tamagotchi by Satan himself. “What chit?”
“The nacho store we were going to get cancelled on us last weekend, so I asked Yeonjun to get a popcorn guy instead,” you explained. Fucking Yeonjun. You turned to him. “Did you forget to call him back? It’s been four days.”
He thought for a bit then shrugged, relishing your annoyance. “I guess so. Whoops.���
“Call him now, before he backs out,” you instructed, turning your attention back to the papers.
“Haven’t you ever heard of saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’?”
You didn’t even bother to look up. “Haven’t you ever heard of doing your fucking job?”
He threw the pen he was holding on the floor in response. The other council members exchanged furtive glances.
“Come on, guys. Not in front of the kids,” Soobin sighed, ever the mediator, picking up the pen. You wanted to tell him he didn’t need to clean up after a child, but that would just make things worse. You continued working.
“What’s going on with you two? You’re even worse than usual,” Minjeong said.
At that, you and Yeonjun locked eyes from across the room. He scoffed and looked away immediately. You watched him closely, but you couldn’t read him at all. You were quickly realising that, despite being mirrors of each other and spending almost all of your time together, you barely knew him.
“It seems our Pres is touchy today,” he teased. “They’re a little stressed out.”
You pinned the papers you were holding together with a paperclip and filed them away. “Watch it, Yeonjun,” you warned.
He ignored your glaring at him, your eyes telling him to stop, continuing, “Despite all appearances, they’re not as golden as they so desperately want everyone to think. They even had a little breakdown before their competition.”
Before anyone else could react, you passed the file in your hands over to Beomgyu (what you were doing was technically his job, anyway) and left. The room fell deathly silent.
——————————
Strangely, Yeonjun followed you into the corridor, feeling a weird compulsion to do so. His feet moved under him without him realising. Running after you and shouting your name, he easily caught up with you in just a few long strides. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you back, forcing you to turn around.
“Let me go.” You shook his hand off of you, unable to stop the tears from welling up in your eyes. This was humiliating.
He laughed lightly, unfazed. “What’s your fucking deal? We’ve said way worse things to each other before,” he said. He had a point. And you did have some sort of tacit agreement with him that nothing was off-limits. Maybe you’d been too naive in thinking that that night was different. That it had meant something.
“Fuck off! I need to go fix your fucking mistake,” you shouted, turning back around. Your voice was trembling.
“Pres, relax,” he teased, taking you by the shoulders and spinning you around before you’d even had the chance to take a single step away from him. He leant down to emphasise the height difference between you two, something he did often that infuriated you to no end, pleased by how easily he could rile you up. “Don’t you know throwing tantrums is counter-productive?”
“I hate you, Choi Yeonjun,” you said coldly, biting the inside of your cheek to try and stop your tears. When all he did was laugh, you pushed him away. Against your wishes, a sob broke its way through your pressed lips and you lost it. You balled your hands up into fists and pounded on his chest repeatedly to get him to let go of you; it was like hitting a brick wall and you both knew it. “I hate you! IhateyouIhateyouIhateyou.”
He stopped. “Are you crying?” You crying once the other day was out-of-character enough, let alone twice in such a short span of time. He was pretty sure he’d never even seen you show the smallest sliver of vulnerability before this week.
“Yes, I’m fucking crying, asshole. I’m glad your snail of a brain finally caught up.” You hit his chest again, so weak you barely disturbed a single fibre on his school blazer.
Any sympathies he might have been forming for you earlier dissipated in an instant. He easily grabbed both of your wrists with one hand to stop you, glowering at you, his jaw clenched. “You should’ve known I would tell the kids. Everything between us is fair game, isn’t it, Pres? Why did you even tell me any of that if you wanted it to be a secret?” he snapped.
All the vitriol in your voice evaporated. When you next spoke, you sounded like a child, scared and upset and betrayed. He had never heard you sound anything like that; it was jarring to the both of you. “Because I thought you would understand.”
There it was. The revelation. Perhaps that was what your entire years-long rivalry with this dick of a man boiled down to: a secret hope that he was struggling as much as you, and a frustration that it didn’t seem like he was. You hadn’t even understood that was what it was until you said it.
He sobered in an instant, his eyes softening in the realisation that he’d gone too far. “Pres,” he said quietly, like he was calling a wounded animal. The guilt in his voice was probably as close to an outright admission of wrongdoing as he would ever get with you. “I didn’t know you were-”
“Whatever, dickwad,” you mumbled, deflated, pulling your hands out of his grasp. “I have to call the vendor before he pulls out of this deal. We don’t have a lot of time.”
“Pres, I didn’t know,” he repeated, more urgently this time, still not an apology, following you as you walked away from him.
You stopped in your tracks and turned back around, your voice now calm and measured, holding up a hand to stop him from continuing. “I will be civil to you for the next week so we can see this event through, but I’m done with-” you gestured vaguely between the both of you. “I’m done with whatever this is. Bye, Yeonjun.”
This time, he didn’t chase after you.
——————————
Why was Yeonjun bringing up the day you both stayed until 2am? The day he kissed you? He made it sound like an average day, as if it had meant nothing to him, but something had clearly changed between you two since then.
He was walking on eggshells around you, trying to crack jokes, and engage you in conversations where he didn’t pick on you. You hated it. It made you feel weak. But you were the only one to pick up on it, which was the upside to every single student council member being up to their eyeballs in stress. None of them really noticed his strange behaviour. Or yours.
The festival kicked off smoothly — so smoothly, in fact, that it took Yeonjun and the rest of the council a whole half hour to realise you were missing. After you and Yeonjun finished your joint emcee duties, they hadn’t needed to call you or report to you for anything.
“Hey, have you seen the pres?” Jimin asked, Minjeong following closely behind her. “We’ve been looking for them everywhere.”
“Nope,” Beomgyu said.
Soobin shook his head. “Me neither.”
Everyone turned to Yeonjun in unison. “I’ll go look for them,” he said, already leaning over to grab his jacket hanging off the back of the chair next to him.
“You can’t leave us too! You’re our second-in-command,” Minjeong pointed out.
“Yeah, whatever. You’re in charge now,” he declared absent-mindedly, not really listening to her, one foot already out the door.
——————————
Yeonjun sprinted straight to the bus stop, ignoring the stares of the other students as he ran right through the festival booths. He got there just in time to see your bus pulling away, letting out a long string of curses that made the elderly man sitting on the bench glare at him. He was usually careful about his behaviour in public, especially when he was in uniform like he was then, but he didn’t care anymore.
Your taunts last week were partly true; he didn’t really know how to take buses, and he really was sort of driven everywhere by his parents. So it took him far longer than it should have to figure out how else to get to your house (he stood there staring at the bus chart for long enough that three different people offered to help him). Even the aforementioned elderly man took pity on him, but not before tsking disapprovingly at his student leader badge and calling him foul-mouthed.
He ran ten minutes from the bus stop he ended up alighting at to your house and reached your front porch without even knowing why he was there at all, but he pounded on your door anyway. You came to the window, peeked out from behind the curtain, and left.
“I can see you, Pres. Open the door,” he called out, out of breath. When you complied, he didn’t even give you the chance to speak. “Why are you here?”
You looked him up and down, deciding to be annoying. You usually did when it came to him. “This is my house. Why are you here?”
“You know what I meant, dipshit.” How charming.
You let him in and poured him a glass of ice water. It was weird seeing Yeonjun sitting in your living room, like a forced merger of two spheres of your life that you kept separate as much as you could. His school blazer was hanging off the end of the sofa.
“It’s hot,” he said defensively when he saw you looking at it. It wasn’t; he was just sweating from running from the bus stop to your house. He took the glass from you and set it down on the coffee table without using the coaster you’d so nicely placed right in front of him, making you see red. “Four ice cubes? Are you telling me to die?”
“As if you have a superstitious bone in your body, Choi Yeonjun. Is this how you act as a guest in other people’s houses too?” you asked, sitting down beside him.
He loosened his tie and popped the first two buttons of his dress shirt open. “No, just yours.”
“Sure, please make yourself at home,” you said sarcastically. “What do you want?”
“I came to apologise. You disappeared and we all freaked out. God, I can’t believe I’m worried about you-”
You raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Are you sure you know what an apology is?”
“Shut up. I mean-” he groaned in frustration and ran his hands through his hair, something he often did when he got annoyed. “You’re being so difficult!”
“Says the guy complaining about the number of ice cubes I put in his water!”
“For fuck’s sake,” he sighed, putting his head in his hands. “Hang on. Let me start over.”
The living room was completely silent apart from the sound of his heavy breathing. You were about to say something about it — a star athlete being so winded from a short run was pretty entertaining to you — but you decided not to. Your phone dinged. It was Beomgyu telling you the popcorn vendor had shown up late, drunk, and thrown up in the popcorn machine, followed by three increasingly ridiculous reaction images from Megamind. Maybe you shouldn’t have hired a popcorn vendor after all.
“What’s so funny?”
You flashed him your phone screen. “Beomgyu sent me something.”
Yeonjun didn’t even look at it, despite being the one who’d asked in the first place. “I like you,” he declared.
“Are you having a heat stroke?” you asked, disinterested, typing out a quick reply.
He knocked your phone out of your hand in a huff. “Stop fucking texting Beomgyu.”
Your phone clattered to the floor. “Hey!”
“You are such an irritating person.” He dramatically (as always) got up from the sofa to kneel on the floor in front of you, looking up at you with an indecipherable emotion in his eyes. “I like you, Pres. I have for a while now, but I only realised it the other night. I got scared and I lashed out, but that doesn’t make what I said okay. I betrayed your trust and I’m sorry.”
Your head started spinning, and your heart leapt up into your throat. I like you. Your jaw would’ve dropped open had it not been for every muscle in your body going rigid at once. He casually sat back down next to you, picked up his glass, and took a sip. As if he hadn’t just delivered you the single biggest shock of your life. You could barely get his name out of your mouth.
“Yeonjun, I-”
“Look, you don’t have to say anything. I just needed to tell you because it was driving me crazy. You drive me crazy, actually-”
You grabbed his tie, pulled him towards you, and kissed him. If he was surprised by your boldness he didn’t show it, his hands easily finding their way to your waist as he kissed you back. His lips were cold from the ice water.
“Thank you for the apology. I didn’t know you had it in you.”
He broke the kiss, laughing breathily. “I can’t think straight when you’re kissing me. I didn’t hear anything you said.”
You flicked him lightly on the forehead, unable to stop yourself from smiling. “I said thank you for apologising. I appreciate it. But I’m still mad at you.”
“I know,” he said. Right at that moment, both of your phones went off at the same time. “We should get back to school.”
He stood up, casually took your hand, and started walking. You didn’t pull away.
——————————
Although you did it often, being in school this late at night with no one else around never quite stopped feeling other-worldly. Your body was tired, but your mind was still awake and buzzing and alive.
“I’m sorry I made you miss the festival,” you said as you finished making your rounds through the school to check each room one last time, switch off the mains, and lock the doors.
“You didn’t make me do anything.” Yeonjun took your hand in his again and gave it a comforting squeeze, before adding, “Don’t be so full of yourself.”
The words were familiar, but his tone and the warmth in your cheeks were not. Choi Yeonjun of all people was making you act shy and blushy. Revolting.
“The golden boy of the school just confessed to me a few hours ago. How could I not be full of myself?” You stopped walking and turned to face him. “I like you,” you mocked, an over-dramatic caricature of his voice.
Yeonjun groaned and hid his face in his hands. “God, I can’t believe I actually said that. Like a character in a Netflix original.” You laughed, wondering if you’d ever laughed with him, not at him, before.
He’d called his mom earlier and told her not to pick him up — he wanted to take the bus with you, even though it would take him twice as long to get home. Leaving the school, you both turned to look back down the empty corridor.
“I guess this is the end of our late nights,” he mused. Your competitions were both over and there were no more events to organise for the year. All that remained were your final exams.
“Until our Valentine’s Day celebrations,” you reminded him. “Jimin wants to start planning that next week.”
He retorted immediately, “I don’t.” As the lights of the corridor started to turn themselves off (they were on automatic timers, which you found very annoying), he leant down, cupped your face gingerly in his hands, and kissed you twice.
“I want to do this.”
——————————
thanks for reading <3
-minastras
#OOOOH IM BUZZING#SO GLAD I FINALLY GOT AROUND TO READING THIS I HAD THE BEST TIME#academic rivals to lovers RISEEE#no mina this was so good!!#THE BANTERRRRRR#i am such a sucker for good dialogue and this was just amazing#if u want to write a whole fic about ynjun swearing at each other i wouldnt mind <3333#i love the texts u included it really made the world u created feel lived in yk?#yeonjun so stupid so silly like even MY jaw fell open like i was gagged#😭😭#but the kiss scene.#mina.#LIKE WOAAHHH#i started giggling out loud like THAT WAS SOHDHHFJSJS#love love love#the confession scene#its SOOOO them#i love how they don't stop teasing each other like 🥰🥰🥰#this was great i loved it 10/10#— % txt#— % moots ♡
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next. | d.w.
request: @rustic-guitar-notes: "can u write a little cutesy piece basically about reader and dean living a very normal life and leaving hunting?? like they have a whole house together and sam visits sometimes and it’s all just soft and NORMAL."
synopsis: this is written as a sequel to done, however, it can also be read as a standalone fic.
pairing: dean winchester x female!reader
word count: 2.6k+
warnings: fluff - she/her pronouns used - no use of 'y/n' - a smidge of angst if you squint - a surprise Sam appearance - Eileen mention! - pet names used (sweetheart)
a/n: this took me FOREVER i'm so sorry!! but I hope this makes up for it <3333 (also eileen is blurry wife confirmed by me)
Why did cooking have to be so difficult?
The instructions stared up at you from your phone screen, mocking your efforts. You had no trouble following directions and were confident you had done everything perfectly. Yet, your kitchen was beginning to fill with smoke, and the burger patties on the stove—the patties you had spent hours putting together—were starting to fall apart and burn.
There was stuff everywhere. Herbs were all over the counter, white flour-handprints covered your shirt, and you were certain some of it was in your hair. Flecks of ground beef were on your tiled walls and floor (which, thankfully, your dog Miracle cleaned up right away). Salad ingredients littered your bench space, leaving you little to no room to move.
You were beginning to feel claustrophobic. This kitchen was a lot smaller than the one you were used to.
You were accustomed to the bunker, with its vast countertop space, where anything you needed was within arm's reach and easily spotted. Currently, what little kitchenware you had was hidden behind cabinet doors, and you were still getting used to the setup.
Tears pricked the corners of your eyes as you felt your heart rate begin to accelerate. You felt stupid. All you wanted to do was make a nice meal, and cooking was simply reading and following instructions—why couldn't you just do that?
Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, a shrill beeping rang through your house.
The smoke alarm.
Panicked, you fumbled to turn off the stove and wave away the smoke, desperately trying to silence the alarm before one of your nosy neighbours came knocking at the door. When the beeping finally stopped, you returned to the stove, sighing at the blackened mess that was left.
It didn't look too bad. You were sure that you could fix it simply by scraping off the burnt bits; no one would even know just how badly you messed everything up.
You decided to turn your attention to something that only an idiot could mess up—chopping. You were once quite skilled with a blade—a year ago you would have been using it for something entirely different, like chopping off the heads of vampires or other various creatures that went bump in the night. Today, however, you swapped a machete for a chef's knife. Most of your weapons were carefully packed away, with only a few small trinkets and books to remind you of your old life as a hunter.
You sliced lettuce, tomato, and cucumber, being sure to tuck your fingers away and allow the knife to rock against your knuckles, just like the professionals did on television.
You were so focused on perfecting your chopping technique that you barely noticed the sound of keys turning in the lock or the front door swinging open. The sound of footsteps behind you went unnoticed until you felt a hand on your shoulder.
Out of pure instinct, you spun around, knife gripped tightly in your hand as a surge of adrenaline washed over you. You raised the blade towards the potential assailant, holding it a breath's distance away from their neck, your knuckles turning white. You could hear your heart pounding in your ears and your breath hitched in your throat at the sudden movement. Your brain was telling you to strike, to move on the enemy before it was too late, but the gentle hand that curled around your wrist caused your defensive stance to falter.
“You gonna stab me, sweetheart?”
"Dean?" you breathed, immediately pulling the knife away from his throat. Your heart was still thundering away, but the buzz of energy in your system had subsided to a gentle hum. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Well, I thought I would come home early and surprise you," he said, taking the knife from your hand and placing it on the countertop. "I didn't think you were gonna Long-Kiss-Goodnight-me."
“I’m sorry,” you sighed, anxiety and embarrassment quickly replacing the adrenaline. “Old habits…”
Dean took you by the shoulder and pulled you toward him, wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace. He placed a firm kiss on the top of your head before resting his chin there. You melted into him and snaked your arms around his middle, feeling every worry melt away. He smelled like work: fuel, oil, and metal, and despite washing his hands copious times, there were still motor oil stains on his skin. Normally, the smell would have had you scrunching your nose up and ordering Dean into the shower, but for the first time, you couldn’t find yourself caring.
“How was work?” you asked, pulling back to look up at him. His hair was scruffy, the ends standing up in a hundred different directions. It was longer than Dean usually allowed it to get, but he told you he wanted to “experiment with the length” (you weren’t going to admit that the thought made you ever so slightly giddy).
"Pretty good," he replied, furrowing his brows for a moment as he wiped a patch of flour off your forehead with his thumb. "Some guy brought in an old Mustang. Got to—"
His eyes tore off you, looking towards the mess you left on the stove.
"What the hell—"
"Don't ask," you grumbled.
"What did you—what even—"
"I thought I said don't ask."
Dean picked the frypan up off the stove, inspecting the charred contents, and you felt like shrinking inside yourself. He looked over to the chopped ingredients on the counter before turning back to you.
"Dinner…?"
"I tried," you gave up. "I really did. I thought I would do something nice and surprise you, but apparently, I'm the world's worst cook."
Dean wasn't going to admit it, but you were right. You could make a mean bowl of cereal and a damn good cup of coffee, but when it came to toasting, baking, or frying, it usually ended with someone needing to get the fire extinguisher.
Your face fell into your hands—the tears were back, and you tried your best to hide them, but your shaky breaths immediately alerted Dean.
"Hey," he said with a light chuckle. He pulled you back towards him, one hand on your back, the other holding the back of your head. "It's all good."
"No it's not," you said, voice muffled by Dean's embrace. "I used to be good at something. Now I'm not good at anything."
"What d'you mean?"
"I used to be good at—at hunting. I used to wake up every day knowing exactly what to do and when. Now I can't even make a meal without messing up. At least you're good at something."
Dean nodded, fully understanding. It had been roughly six months since your last hunt, since you'd both hung up your hats and said goodbye to the life forever.
Surprisingly enough, Dean settled into your new life faster than you both had thought. He had gotten the mechanic job right off the bat and quickly fell into a routine. It was good for him. He had something to look forward to every day. He had new skills that he was able to put to use.
You, on the other hand, were finding things a little more difficult. You had no experience doing anything, making finding a job damn near impossible. You found yourself itching to check for the latest missing persons case or some kind of sign of the next apocalypse. You busied yourself by walking the dog, by cleaning the little house you rented in Kansas, by reading dozens of books.
Dean never pushed you. Instead, he let you adjust at your own pace.
Sure, there were still nights where one of you would wake up from a nightmare a sobbing, shaky mess, where visions of blood, death, and monsters flashed behind your eyelids. But you were always there for each other with comforting touches and words—you were each other's beacons of light when things began to grow dark again.
“I’ll tell you what,” he said, hands moving to your shoulders. “You are gonna head out, grab a pizza from down the street. I am gonna stay here and tidy up.”
“But—”
“Then,” he continued, “We’re gonna settle in for the night. Couch. Beer. Movie.”
“Fine,” you sighed, a smile creeping back onto your lips.
Your car smelled like pizza as you pulled into the little cul-de-sac where your house was. Three boxes sat on your passenger seat, and you had to refrain from reaching over and snagging a piece before getting home. Dean would have your head if you started without him.
You passed several houses on your block that looked somewhat similar to your own before your little house came into view. It was smaller than the others, but it made up for it with a massive front and back yard. It had a brown roof, beige-yellow walls, and a wooden door. For most people, it wasn’t much to look at—many of the people who inspected it had turned their noses up and laughed at it.
It wasn’t much, but it was home.
Upon pulling into the driveway, you noticed another car parked on the side of the road up ahead. The sight of it brought a wide smile to your face.
Sam.
It had been days since you last saw him. After spending all day every day in the Winchesters’ pockets, you had felt strange not seeing Sam constantly. After everything, Sam had become one of your closest and dearest friends—he was like an older brother to you. He knew everything about you, and you knew everything about him. You could talk to each other freely without judgment—he just got you.
You quickly parked your car, grabbed the pizza boxes, and headed inside.
You could hear Sam and Dean before seeing them. After years of hunting, stakeouts, and sneaking around, you were surprised the brothers weren't a little more subtle. Six months ago, you would have assumed they were arguing about something, but as you approached the front door, you actually heard them laugh.
You pushed the door open and headed inside, immediately greeted by Miracle. He sniffed around your feet and tried his best to investigate the pizza boxes in your hand, his tail wagging profusely. Dean took the pizza boxes from your hands, shot you a wink, and took them into the kitchen. Miracle quickly turned his attention away from you and followed the smell of the pizza. Traitor.
"Hey, stranger," Sam said, standing at the end of the entryway, hands stuffed in his hoodie pockets.
You threw your keys on the small bench near the front door and practically ran over to Sam, throwing your arms around him in a tight hug. You had to stand on your tiptoes to reach him.
"This is a nice surprise! Long time no see," you said, pulling back to take a look at him. He looked well-rested—happy—and there was a glint in his eye that you couldn't quite put your finger on. "How's Eileen?"
"Good," he lowered his head, the look in his eye now spreading to the rest of his face. A smile crept across his lips, the kind that had your brows furrowing in interest. "Yeah, she's real good."
You made a mental note to ask about it later.
"Pizza's gettin' cold!" Dean called, which caused you and Sam to roll your eyes in unison.
After indulging in five slices of pizza and three beers, you were completely stuffed. The boys had spent at least forty-five minutes arguing over which movie to watch, so the film—which should have ended by now—had only just started playing on your TV. You teetered on the edge of post-meal drowsiness, your eyes drooping. You fought hard against it; you wanted to stay awake and catch up with Sam, to hear more about how domestic life was finally treating him.
You felt content in your surroundings, and the knowledge that both your boys were here safe made you feel warm. The couch beneath you was soft, and with your head resting in Dean's lap, you felt even more comfortable. His thumb rubbed against your shoulder in small circles, and the rhythm of his touch eventually sent you off to sleep entirely. You had lost the fight.
“She asleep?” Sam asked in a whisper, gesturing with a nod towards you.
Dean shifted ever so slightly and cast his eyes down to you before nodding. "She wouldn't stop askin' me to invite you over. Thought the surprise would keep her buzzed for hours."
Sam chuckled, "Y'know, she can invite me over whenever she wants?"
"Man, if she had it her way, you'd never leave."
Sam smiled, and the two sat in comfortable silence for a moment, until his eyes grew concerned. He sat forward and grabbed the TV remote, turning down the volume until the film playing was barely audible.
"How's she doing?" he asked.
Dean shrugged, "Can't tell. Sometimes she seems okay. Then… I don't know…"
"What do you mean?"
"Came home today and found her in the kitchen. She was freaking out about dinner—"
"She's never been the best cook."
"I know," Dean said, "but she started tellin' me she wasn't good at anythin' anymore."
Sam's brows furrowed, "It'll take her some time to adjust. I mean, we aren’t exactly the best examples of settling into the real world."
“I keep tellin’ her that, but I don’t think she believes me.”
At that moment, Sam wished for nothing more than for you to wake up. He wanted to tell you about the several times he’d attempted a normal life and failed, how the hunting life had an iron-grip hold on him for years until he finally felt the time was right to cut free. But he decided to leave it for another time. You looked too peaceful.
But he knew that you would be fine. You always were. Aside from his brother, you were one of the strongest people Sam knew.
"How're things going with you and Eileen?" Dean asked. "Honeymoon phase over yet?"
A smile tugged on Sam's lips, "Yeah… I uh—I guess it kinda is."
"Dude, already? What did you do?"
"Nothing," Sam defended. "We've just found a routine. Settled in…"
"And…?"
Sam's hands swiped down his face as he sat back on the couch with a huff. His foot bounced against the floor, his eyes drifting from his brother to you and then back again.
"I wanted to tell you guys together."
Confusion flashed across Dean’s face as he sat up, careful not to jostle you around too much. “Wanted to tell us what?”
Sam let out a breath, “Eileen’s pregnant.”
Silence fell over the lounge room—the only sound being that of the soft dialogue coming from the television. The confusion on Dean’s face slowly morphed into shock, then confusion again, before a grin broke out.
“Are you serious?”
Sam nodded.
“You’re—you’re serious?”
Sam chuckled, nodding again.
There was something about it that Dean couldn’t believe. His brother—his baby brother—was having his own baby. It felt like just yesterday that he was picking him up from Stanford. The man next to him was no longer that college kid; he was starting his own family.
The thought made Dean look down at you. He wondered what it would be like to do all of that with you. Sure, the two of you had spoken about it here and there—marriage, family, the whole nine—but it never really went any further than that.
Dean’s brows furrowed as he looked up from you and back to his brother.
“She’s gonna kill you if she finds out she missed this.”
Sam laughed quietly, which caused the corners of his eyes to crinkle. “Well then, how ‘bout I stay the night? I’ll tell you guys in the morning… Just—try to act surprised. For our sake.”
“Deal.”
#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x reader fluff#dean winchester fluff#supernatural#dean winchester#spn#dean winchester x you#dean x reader#dean winchester x female!reader#dean x you#dean x y/n#dean winchester x y/n#supernatural fanfiction#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester fic#dean fluff#dean fic#supernatural fic#*my writing
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hi!hi!!! this is the same person who requested tht office romance w/ kuroo last time hehe. i love your writing style so much bc its easy for someone like me (who has a deteriorating brain functioning system from all of the brainrot ive been influenced by the internet) to understand and imagine in my silly deluional head XDDD anyways !! id like to request dad! headcanons for the black jackals (specifically, hinata, sakusa, atsumu and bokuto^^) omg maybe a scenario where they find out that reader is pregnant then proceed with the headcanon with how they act with the kid/s i just needed to request this bc my baby fever has been progressively getting worst and i just cant stop thinking abt kids :']] GOODLUCK AND I WISH U WELLLL !!! <3333
baby fever w/ hinata, atsumu, sakusa, bokuto m.list | rules
note. omg thank you sm I'm so happy you loved the one with Kuroo because i loved writing it sm!! and i probably the idea even more because omg the boys as dads?? it's genius idk why i've never did it before! i hope you'll love it just as much <3
Hinata Shoyo
You had been trying to have a baby with Shoyo for a few weeks already, but it was like fate was against the two of you because you seemed to not be able to end up pregnant. You were slowly starting to lose hope ; thank God Hinata was way too positive and optimistic to even think about the worst. It was helping you, in a way.
He was at the gym to train for their next matches when you learned the good news. You didn’t hesitate twice before almost rushing to join him. He was talking with his team, most specifically Bokuto, when you arrived like a fury. Shoyo looked at you with a big smile and you waved at him. He came to you in no time.
“You seemed happy. What’s the news?” He asked with his usual smile, and you almost felt the tears in your eyes. You took his hands between yours, trying not to talk too loudly. “We did it Shoyo! I’m pregnant!” And your words didn’t get the time to fall in the silence.
Hinata held you tightly between his arms, carrying you off the ground and spinning around with you in his arms. Right after your feet finally met the floor again, he cupped your face with his hands to kiss you. “I told you, we needed to be patient!” And you were sure that the rest of the team was going to learn the news sooner than later.
good with children ; he has a little sister after all
always so patient no matter what
not the type to ever yell, so when he get to angry mod, the kid stop immediately
will talk a lot about highschool and his friends ; so proud
take pictures all the time, videos too ; a lot of memories of your baby boy
ready to take a break from volleyball so he could give all his time to you and the baby
Miya Atsumu
Saying that Atsumu was scared of having children was an euphemism. The man was absolutely terrified by the idea. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to have a child with you, of course not ; it was just the responsibilities which were so stressful for him. He kept acting cool at first but after some time you’ve been able to understand what was going on inside of his mind.
Until you’ve been confronted with reality. You were alone in the bathroom, and Atsumu was waiting for you right outside of the room. Things were a bit weird with your body lately and you both noticed it. So it wasn’t so surprising that you took a test just to be sure.
You got out of the bathroom, and your gaze met Atsumu’s eyes. You slowly showed him the test, and he could quickly read the answer he was waiting for. You were pregnant. He looked back at you, and he saw that you were about to say something he didn’t want to hear from you.
“Don’t ever say you're sorry,” he started, slowly caressing your cheek with his thumb. “It’s the best news you could have told me. Because we’re going to have the most beautiful baby ever, and I’m going to love you two until the end of my days.” This time, you couldn’t really help the tears which felt down your cheeks. You closed your eyes, and he left a kiss against your forehead.
“I love you,” you told him in a whisper, and he couldn’t help but to smile slowly. “I love you too,” was his answer before he held you tight between his arms. He was scared, of course ; but he couldn’t be happier at the same time because God knew how much he loved you.
the man is an overprotective mother ; almost like he was the one who bear the baby
careful about absolutely everything
acts cool but stressed when something doesn’t go as planned
girl’s dad at 100%
loves to be considered as a princess ; will wear a dress and a tiara
bringing gifts all the time, especially when away because of volleyball
Sakusa Kiyoomi
You already talked about having children with Sakusa, but the conversation was never ending well. In fact, it always ended up in an argument. Your partner was completely closed at the discussion and you couldn’t understand why.
So when you learned that you were actually pregnant, fear ran over you. You cried a lot, for a long time. How were you supposed to say this to him? Was he going to leave you? You were so scared, and it was messing with your poor mind.
Sakusa came home after practice, and he found you in your bed, curled up in the blanket to hide yourself. A sigh left his lips before he took place right beside you after being ready to do so. “What are you hiding from me? Don’t say nothing, I know you too well. There’s something wrong.”
You looked at him and he frowned immediately when he saw the redness of your eyes. You had been crying for quite a while, so he knew he was right ; even if he hoped to be wrong. He slowly caressed your cheek, waiting for you to find the strength to tell him.
“Kiyoomi… I’m pregnant…” You told him in a little voice, and his eyes widened almost right now. He blinked a few times, and you looked away, feeling the tears coming back. “I know, we talked about it, but I…”
Sakusa grabbed your chin with all the softness in the world, making you look back at him. He left a small kiss against your lips. “I couldn’t be happier, my love, I swear.” It was your turn to stay silent, all blinking. This is how you learned that the only reason behind Kiyoomi’s anger towards pregnancy was actually fear because of all the complications.
But if it was for you, he was ready to take the risk. Because having a baby with you was all he could dream of. You just needed to be careful.
biggest girl’s dad ever
will do anything for his baby girl ; even if it meant going out with ribbon in his hair
discreet about his private life but when he sees you two during his matches? can’t hide much longer
completely devoted but still know how to be a little strict
wants his child to have the best education so he’s careful about everything
get scared every time the baby is just a little sick
overly protective ; especially when it comes to boy close to his girl
Bokuto Koutaro
He was made to be a father, you were sure about it. He loved children so much, there was no way he wouldn’t be happy to learn that you were pregnant. But it was still pretty stressful for you, because you were never sure of anything with Bokuto.
Today was the day, because he was finally coming back home after being away with his teams for a few weeks. You couldn’t announce this to him on the phone so you had to wait for him to come back. When he entered your shared apartment, he had a huge smile on his lips. Being able to finally reunite with you was all he could ask for.
You were sitting on the couch, and he almost immediately jumped on you. As the yapper he was, he started to talk about his trip and everything that happened. But you seemed lost in your thoughts, and he noticed it quickly.
“What’s wrong babe?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. You met his gaze and a sigh left your lips. “I have something to tell you,” you started, and Bokuto slowly frowned his eyebrows. Something was weird, and he didn’t like it at all. He stayed strangely silent while you were trying to find the right words to tell him the news.
Another long sigh left your lips before you finally decided to say it out loud. “I’m pregnant, Kou.” And the silence after that was long. Too long for you, and you started to worry. Until a huge smile appeared on his lips. He grabbed your hands, eyes wide. “We’re expecting a baby? Really?”
It was like all your worries fled away at this exact moment, and you slowly nodded with a smile on your own lips. “Yes, we’re expecting a baby.” Nothing could go wrong if it was with Bokuto after all.
neither a girl’s dad or a boy’s dad ; just devoted and obsessed with his children
had probably cry more than you when he saw your baby for the first time
it’s like the accomplishment of his entire life
not really the strict parent ; doing half of the stupidities with your boy
will obviously teach him volleyball at the youngest age
always playing with your son when he can ; doing his best to be as present as possible
will show him to the camera during his interviews after a match
always talking about you or the baby to everyone ; really the proudest
a kid himself so obviously he know what to do to make the baby boy laugh
thank you for reading!
#hinata shouyou#haikyuu hinata#hq hinata#hinata x reader#hinata headcanons#atsumu miya#haikyuu atsumu#hq atsumu#atsumu x reader#atsumu headcanons#sakusa kiyoomi#haikyuu sakusa#hq sakusa#sakusa x reader#sakusa headcanons#bokuto koutarou#haikyuu bokuto#hq bokuto#bokuto x reader#bokuto headcanons#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu hcs#hq#hq x reader#hq headcanons#hq hcs
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ace avian. that’s what we’re calling this 🗣️🗣️🗣️
please let me know if you have any thoughts or suggestions or input or anything! i’m happy to bounce ideas around (i'll post DL-6 someday soon i swear)
link to masterpost || explations below cut
shoutout to the anon who sent in that ask bc i seriously fell in love with blue jay phoenix. SHOUTOUT TO TAKAHE PHOENIX TOO THO takahe phoenix, you will forever be in my heart and im glad you existed <3333,, (maybe in this au he’s got some loving adoptive takahe parents :3) (YKNOW WHAT YEAH that’s canon now)
but yeah, flight-avoidant jay phoenix still lends itself well to the common-man hardworking underdog vibe i want from him. speaking of flight-avoidant...
Phoenix's relationship with flying:
It's a bit complicated. Basically, Phoenix can fly, but he historically chooses not to. From the lack of any practice, he's an INCREDIBLY weak flier. (That hovering is really all he can manage)
For one, he's still afraid of heights. Can't help that. This fear means he was less inclined to practice flying, which made him a weaker flier. And being a weaker flier, in turn, made his fear of heights worse. And so on, in a loop. With flightless parents too (it's canon now it's canon), there's even less of a reason to learn to fly. At some point, not flying might've even become something he stuck with out of stubbornness lol, knowing Phoenix.
(I will soon be making a couple small world building posts, but) flying isn't necessary to get around in their society. Convenient, sure, but Phoenix realized he could make do without, and so he did. Phoenix, you icon. Slay. 💅💅
i know this probably isn't the popular take with wing AUs??, but Phoenix being flightless (or at least semi-flightless) sounded like a really fun take on the idea to me. His name is irony at its peak. I also look forward to exploring how other characters react to him not flying. The prosecutors are going to have so many cheap insult opportunities.
As I mentioned though, he still uses his wings a LOT, though. He's much more emotive with them than most people. His sarcastic inner-dialogue remarks are also betrayed by his wings lmao
I also imagine bird-folk never really invented bikes (riding would just be annoying with their wings, plus bikes aren't fast/efficient enough to outweigh just flying), so instead, Phoenix gets around on a little wing-powered scooter device (like scootaloo lol) (they're usually made for children who can't fly yet, but Phoenix still uses one)
finally, wow, stellar jay’s are quite literally just phoenix wright as a bird lmao? color scheme, hair, it’s uncanny. give it a pink tie and it just is Phoenix Wright, i used a blue jay since they’ve got a bit more striking wings but wow.
(ty again for the support and for reading my essay ! :3)
one more thing, but @kora-kat YES YES YES this. ^^^^ omg THIS. this is still true even though he's a jay now.
#ace avian#okart#ace attorney#fanart#phoenix wright#maya fey#mia fey#miles edgeworth#technically#i won’t include pearl she’s like 10 pixels lol#wings au#i'm having a blast making these concept sheets cuz i get to be so rough draft-y with them#how do i not make an essay everytime#i have so many ideas#i really love both takahe and jay phoenix and picking one was the hardest decision of my life#but i was thinking#maybe someone tries to help phoenix fly over the course of the trilogy???#maybe maya?#maybe edgeeewoorrthh 👀???#and he slowly gets better at it#and then it all gets stripped away from him at Dusky Bridge#cue +1000 depression#because 7 year gap era phoenix doesn't already have enough of that#beanix im sorry
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HERE HE IS!!! Dakota full ref sheet from this absolutely lovely artist!!!
Cute ref I did recently for @sunnys-side-upside-down ! Loved working on this character !
#THEY ARE HERE!!!#AND FINALLY FULLY DESIGNED WITH THE HELP OF THIS LITERALLY AMAZING ARTIST!!!#PLEASE GO CHECK OUT THEIR COMMS!!!#THEY DO FANTASTIC WORK!!#I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS REF SHEET#ITS EVERYTHING AND MORE!!!#MY AFRICAN WILD DOG DREAMS HAVE COME TO LIFE!!#<3333#reblog#not my art#dakota#reference sheet#african wild dog
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Erm. The brain rot took over.
Does hybird!Toji's tail wag when he's near us?????? And does he let us touch/groom it considering its a rlly sensitive part and he trusts us??????????????
OK YUP YUP THANK YOU FOR LISTENING.
(Your honour he gives my life)
YESSSS BRING FORTH THE BRAINROT NONNIE I'M HERE TO LISTEN :3333
tee hee yes it doessss !! toji's very subtle about it now, but it becomes more frequent once he gets comfy and actually starts falling for you !! there are a few moments in the past chapters where he will notice his tail slowly going back and forth, but refuses to acknowledge it bc wtf??? curse his animal body for betraying him like this.
but in the near future, he will allow himself the freedom to let it wag. especially if you're both joking around or he's trying to push your buttons, you bet he's subconciously doing it. it's just a sign that he's truly letting loose around you :(((
(that and he's quite literally obsessed with you and everything you do makes him so stupidly giddy.)
toji's so funny too because he will give you the most abrupt and grumpy responses and yet his tail is literally thumping against the ground... like bro who are you fooling??
(try calling him out for it and he will put you in a headlock.)
as for touching/grooming, honestly i don't think he would let you do it now. even once you guys are comfortable and shit i think he still has a lot of reservations about people touching him. and especially a part that is so sensitive and vulnerable... i think he'd rather take care of it himself y'know?? BUT once your relationship is in full swing??? oh babe touch him wherever you want he was always only yours anyway.
once you're dating him he quite literally will trust you with his entire being. wanna wear knives on your feet and walk all over him?? do it, he's laying down for you already.
i just think wolf!toji will always have that reserved stance with humans, and it takes the confirmation that you actually do love him and won't hurt him for him to finally allow you that privilege.
also i think a big thing for him would be the implications behind allowing you access to a part of him that is so vulnerable?? the idea makes his head spin... i think a lot of his reluctance also comes from embarassment bc god knows he does not want to lose his shit around you....
(and he will for sure.)
#[𐐪— asks. 𐑂]#BARK BARK#I COULD WRITE A THESIS ON HIM ACTUALLY#especially going deep into his lil mannerisms#ugh i love him so bad guys#the tail wagging is my favorite thing to add bc he literally hates that his body reacts to you like that#but there is??? literally nothing he can do?????#weak weak man#i need to bite him.#TY FOR THE BRAINROT NONNIE I AM SMOOCHING YOU VERY GENTLY#(and i'm sure sage is too)#sage if you see this ily#toji x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#wolf toji#tsbcac
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𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥
pairing: Billie Eilish x fem!reader
Synopsis: Billie had a bad day at an event and decided to let off some steam on Y/N.
Content: dom!billie, sub!r, strap-on, bil referred to the strap as her dick, fingering, aggressive sex, AFTERCAREEEE<3333
Word Count: 2.2k
masterlist
Billie walked into her house and slammed the door, throwing her keys on the side table and rushing her shoes off.
She stood there for a moment, letting the weight of the day sink in, her mind still replaying the endless stream of demands from her boss. The stress had become suffocating lately, squeezing the joy out of every waking moment. With a sigh, she made her way to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of red wine. As the velvety liquid embraced her taste buds, a sense of calm washed over her.
Lost in her thoughts, Billie's gaze wandered outside, where the sun cast its final rays upon the world. A glimmer of nostalgia flickered within her as she remembered her childhood days spent chasing fireflies beneath these very trees. Their gentle glow had always been a source of comfort, a reminder that magic existed even in the darkest nights.
Driven by a sudden impulse, Billie set down her glass and stepped out onto her porch. The air was still and carried a fragrance of wildflowers that danced with the evening breeze.
Y/N walks out behind Billie, wrapping her arms around Billie, and places her head on her neck. "rough day?" Y/N murmured, holding Billie while keeping her eyes on the scenery in front of her.
Billie leaned into Y/N's embrace, finding solace in the warmth of their touch. She sighed, her tension slowly melting away in the safety of their arms. With her eyes still fixed on the horizon, she nodded softly.
"Yeah," Billie whispered, her voice tinged with weariness. "Just one of those days where everything feels like it's closing in on me."
Y/N pressed a gentle kiss to the nape of Billie's neck, their lips brushing against the soft curve of skin. "I'm here for you," they murmured, their words carrying a soothing reassurance that washed over Billie like a balm.
A soft smile played on Billie's lips as she turned to face Y/N. Their eyes met, and in that shared gaze, she found an unspoken understanding that bespoke a love deeper than any words could convey. With a surge of gratitude, she wrapped her arms around Y/N, holding them tightly.
Billie grabbed Y/N's waist softly, kissing her gently. Billie grabs Y/N's hand and leads her inside to their bedroom, sitting down on the bed and pulling Y/N onto her lap.
Y/N straddled Billie's lap, their bodies melding together in an intimate embrace. Their kisses grew deeper, fueled by a hunger born from the desire to escape the weight of the world outside those four walls. In this sacred space, they could surrender to the love that bound them, seeking solace in each other's arms.
As their clothes fell away, piece by piece, the room filled with their shared gasps and sighs. Skin met skin, igniting a fire that burned away the remnants of stress and exhaustion. Their bodies moved in perfect harmony, a dance of passion and tenderness. With every touch, they whispered promises of love and devotion, building a sanctuary of pleasure where they could both find refuge.
Time became irrelevant as they lost themselves in this sacred union. They explored every inch of each other's bodies, mapping out the secret places that held untold pleasure. Soft moans mingled with gentle laughter as they reveled in the joy of their connection.
Billie held Y/N as she brought a hand down to Y/N's pussy, teasing her while kissing and sucking on Y/N's neck. Her fingers glided over the soft skin, barely touching the wet folds of her desire. Y/N let out a soft moan as Billie's other hand slid around her waist, pulling her closer. The heat from Y/N's body seemed to radiate through her hand, fueling the passion that was building between them.
Y/N gripped her hand tighter, their eyes locked in an intense stare as the tension between them reached a fever pitch.
Billie's movements became more insistent as she continued to tease Y/N, her fingers lightly grazing her clit before pulling away just as she was about to find relief. Y/N let out a cry, her hips bucking against Billie's hand.
As Billie continued to tease Y/N, their breathing became ragged and their bodies began to tremble with anticipation. With a sudden shift, Billie flipped Y/N onto her back, hovering over her with a wicked smile playing on her lips.
Y/N's heart raced as she looked up at the beautiful woman above her, filled with a mixture of desire and surrender. Billie leaned down, capturing Y/N's lips in a heated kiss as her hands roamed over every inch of Y/N's body.
Her fingers danced along Y/N's skin, leaving trails of fire in their wake. She kissed down Y/N's neck, sucking and biting on the soft skin as she made her way to her chest. She took one perky nipple into her mouth, swirling her tongue around it before giving it a gentle bite.
Y/N moaned in pleasure, arching her back and pushing herself closer to Billie. Her hands tangled in Billie's hair as she guided her mouth to the other breast, wanting to feel that same sensation again.
Billie obliged, giving equal attention to each nipple until they were both swollen and sensitive. But she wasn't satisfied yet. Her hand trailed lower down Y/N's body until it reached the apex of her thighs.
She could feel how wet and ready Y/N was for her, and it only fueled her own desire. With a teasing touch, she slid one finger between Y/N's folds, earning a gasp from the woman beneath her.
But just as quickly as she had started, Billie pulled away with a playful smirk on her face. "Not yet," she whispered huskily before leaning back down to capture Y/N's lips once more.
Y/N whimpered in frustration but also felt herself becoming even more turned on by Billie's teasing game. She couldn't wait any longer – she needed release.
Billie slipped a finger into Y/N, her thumb expertly finding Y/N's clit and rubbing small circles that made Y/N's back arch at the contact. She left more marks littered on Y/N's neck, marking her territory as she continued to pleasure the woman beneath her.
Y/N moaned out in pleasure, her hands gripping onto Billie's back as she urged her to continue. Billie gladly obliged, increasing the speed of her movements and adding another finger inside of Y/N.
The sounds of their bodies moving together filled the room along with their heavy breathing. The tension between them was thick and palpable, each touch and kiss sending shockwaves through their bodies.
As Billie continued to create a rhythm inside of Y/N, she could feel herself getting closer to the edge as well. But she held back, wanting to give Y/N all the pleasure first.
Y/N's moans became louder and more desperate, each one fueling Billie's desire even further. She added a third finger, making sure to hit all the right spots inside of Y/N.
And finally, with one final thrust of her fingers and a flick of her thumb, Y/N came undone beneath Billie. Her body shook with pleasure as she cried out Billie's name over and over again.
But instead of stopping there, Billie kept going – prolonging Y/N's orgasm as long as possible until she couldn't take it anymore. Then with one last kiss, she pulled away from Y/N not yet satisfied with how ruined Y/N is.
With a demanding but soft voice, Billie told Y/N to stay. Y/N couldn't help but obey, her body still trembling from the intense orgasm that Billie had just given her.
Billie walked over to her dresser and pulled out her strap-on. She attached it to her waist and walked back over to Y/N slowly, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
She could see the desire and need in Y/N's eyes, and she wanted nothing more than to fulfill every single one of those desires.
Billie climbed onto the bed, hovering over Y/N as she ran the tip of the strap on along Y/N's inner thighs. She could feel how slick and wet Y/N was already, making her own arousal grow even more.
Y/N whimpered at the teasing touch, wanting nothing more than for Billie to just take her already. But she knew that Billie loved to tease, and she loved it just as much.
Finally, Billie couldn't hold back any longer. She grabbed Y/N's legs roughly, pulling Y/N's body closer to hers as she positioned herself between her legs.
Without warning, she drove the strap-on into Y/N's pussy with a force that made both of them gasp out in pleasure.
The sound of their skin slapping together filled the room along with their moans of pleasure. Each thrust brings them closer to their own release.
"Your pussy is taking my dick so fucking good mama" The words came out as a desperate gasp, tinged with a hint of primal pleasure. Billie's lips were hot against the soft skin of Y/N's thighs, biting down roughly as she lost herself in the intense sensation of their bodies moving together.
Every thrust was met with equal force, their passion building to a fever pitch as they surrendered to their desires. The air was thick with the scent of sex and sweat, intensifying the raw intensity of their connection. In this moment, nothing else mattered but the overwhelming pleasure that consumed them both.
Billie could feel herself getting lost in the sensations and in the way that Y/N's body responded to hers. She gripped Y/N's hips tightly as she increased her pace, wanting nothing more than for this moment to last forever.
But soon enough, they both reached their climax – crying out each other's names as they rode out wave after wave of pleasure together.
Gasping for air, their bodies slick with sweat, they collapsed onto the bed in a tangled mess. Billie's heart raced as she turned towards Y/N, pressing kisses along her neck and jaw, savoring the taste of her skin. With a satisfied sigh, Billie removed the strap from her harness and placed it on the bedside table, making a mental note to clean it later. "You did amazing, baby," she murmured against Y/N's lips, showering them with soft kisses.
As she stood up to grab a towel, Billie couldn't help but admire Y/N's flushed cheeks and disheveled hair. She grabbed a towel and began to wipe down both of their bodies, taking care not to miss a single spot. After slipping into a pair of underwear and an oversized t-shirt, Billie gently lifted Y/N's legs and pressed kisses to her ankles before sliding a pair of underwear onto her limbs with tenderness and care.
After cleaning up and dressing Y/N in comfortable panties, Billie couldn't help but admire how beautiful Y/N looked, even in the dimly lit room. She gently brushed a lock of hair out of Y/N's face before leaning down to press a soft kiss to her forehead.
"Lean up for me please, mama," she mumbled under her breath as she helped Y/N sit up against the headboard. She slipped a shirt over Y/N's head, smiling at how cute she looked in Billie's clothing.
"There you go," Billie said with a satisfied smile as she handed Y/N her glass of water. "Drink up, mama. And go piss please."
Y/N nodded gratefully and took a sip of the water before setting it back on the bedside table. Billie then proceeded to turn off all the lights in the house, making sure everything was secure before returning to bed.
With a soft smile on her lips, Y/N stands up from the bed and walks to the bathroom. As she reaches the door, Billie returns from the kitchen, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Go piss girl," she spoke loudly, causing Y/N to stifle a giggle before entering the bathroom.
Y/N lets out a content sigh as she relieves herself, enjoying the quiet solitude of the small room. She can hear Billie's voice outside of the bathroom, Y/N notices that she's sitting against the doorframe waiting for Y/N. As they continue their conversation, the sound of running water providing a peaceful background noise.
After washing her hands and messing with her hair, Y/N walks out of the bathroom to see Billie waiting for her with a warm smile. The soft glow of light from the living room casts shadows on her face, making her look almost ethereal.
Y/N smiled and scrunched her nose up at Billie, flopping back into bed and pulling the blankets up to her face as she looked at Billie.
She crawled under the covers and pulled Y/N into her arms, letting out a content sigh as she nuzzled her nose against Y/N's neck. "You know I love you right?" She whispered into Y/N's ear.
Y/N turned around to face her with a sleepy smile. "I love you too, Billie," they replied before snuggling closer into Billie's embrace.
The two of them fell asleep in each other's arms, their bodies intertwined as they drifted off into a peaceful slumber. Despite all the chaos and stress that came with being musicians, this was their safe haven – where nothing else mattered except for their love for each other.
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𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 (𝟏)
PART ONE | PART TWO
pairing: singledad!steve harrington x divorcedmom!fem!reader
word count: 9.4k words
summary: in which you hate him and he hates you— and that mutual disliking is perhaps the only thing you and him agree on. you make it your mission to avoid and ignore steve at all costs, and nothing more or less than withering stares and annoyed eye rolls are shared among you both whenever you have to see each other, which luckily isn’t that often. but when your son and his daughter end up in the same first-grade class and quickly become friends, it forces things to change between you two. it means that you and him also have to be friends, or, at the very least, tolerate each other’s presence. which is something that is much easier said than done
warnings: modern!au, enemies (to friends) to lovers, steve and reader are in their late 20s/early 30s, bestfriend!eddie, mentions of cheating/an affair (reader’s ex was an absolute asshole), explicit language, some angst
author’s note: i had the idea for this lil two part mini series (and have been working on it on and off) for like a thousand years at this point and i'm so glad and excited that it's finally free from the jail cell that is my google docs lol. i really really wanted to finish this and have it up before this year was over, so part two is coming new year's eve<3333
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
For the first time in the past two weeks, you were early. Granted it was only by two minutes, but you still counted that as a win.
You stepped out of your car and headed to where the other parents were on the sidewalk, waiting for school to be over and the kids to come out. You inwardly ran through the list of things that you still had to do today— on a Friday that should’ve been calm, but instead, it had been pretty hectic.
It felt like pure luck that you were able to step away from your coffee shop for thirty minutes to pick up Oliver from school. God bless Jude for being willing to take over the rush that was happening. She was your favorite employee, and you knew that she definitely deserved a raise for being able to effectively keep up with the insanity that the last two weeks brought.
That transition from summer into the beginning of the new school year was harder than you had anticipated, and you knew it was mainly because this time last year you weren’t running a business full-time when Oliver had been starting Kindergarten. Instead, the coffee shop was still just an idea, a dream, that felt like it solely lived in your head; even though it had actually been in its final stages, and with each passing day, you only got closer and closer to that October opening date. And when the long-awaited opening finally came, it actually didn’t alleviate an ounce of your stress; instead, it was only increased practically tenfold.
You’d never say it out loud for fear of being deemed as a bad mom, but it was so fucking hard juggling everything and trying to handle it all.
However, somehow, you were doing it and you were actually doing it pretty well. Although at most times it felt like you were so close to drowning, for the time being, your head was completely above water.
You kept running through your mental to-do list as you waited for the time to go from 2:29pm to 2:30pm, indicating the official end of the school day.
Call the vendors that supply the coffee beans and teas and see if they can change the next delivery date, finalize the work schedule for next week, prep the ingredients for the pastries that will be baked tomorrow—
Your eyes instinctively went to check the time on your watch right as the first handful of kids came barreling out of the front doors.
When you saw Olly, you waved until his eyes landed on you and he immediately smiled.
Suddenly, you couldn’t care less about the time and the rest of the shit that you needed to do throughout the day.
“I made a new friend!” Were the first words he said to you when he came over to where you stood.
“That’s awesome!” You kneeled down so that you were pretty much at eye level with him. Hearing him say that made your heart feel so happy. You knew how shy he could be and he rarely ever talked about any kids that he was friends with, especially not with this much enthusiasm. “Who is it?”
“Maddie,” He answered and then pointed in the direction of where you assumed the girl was standing.
There were a handful of kids standing with their parents in the direction Olly was pointing to about ten or fifteen feet away, but when he further specified that she was “the girl holding the blue lunchbox,” you saw her. A girl with brown hair who was smiling at her dad who was smiling back at her and holding a hand up so that she could give it a high five.
You recognized him immediately.
In your mind, his name was “the worst person in the world.” In reality, his name was Steve Harrington.
You didn’t really pay attention to him until this past January because your kids weren’t in the same Kindergarten class. You actually didn’t even learn that he was the only other single parent in the grade until then.
It was one of your New Year’s resolutions to become more active and involved in school activities, PTA meetings, etc. Mainly because you knew that the other Kindergarten moms were judging you for barely doing anything aside from the occasional bake sale and the school was way too small for you to slip under the radar and not be noticed; those moms noticed everything.
Therefore, on the first meeting back after the Winter holiday break, you were there— five minutes late, but there nonetheless. Although, it could’ve been assumed that everyone thought you were an hour late with the amount of withering looks you received when you entered the gymnasium.
You offered a small apologetic smile and made a mental note to never be even a minute late again.
Leslie, the PTA president, was droning on and on about what big things were planned for the second half of the school year— somehow dragging out a short list of things that you thought could’ve been simply sent out in a mass email— when Steve walked in fifteen minutes after you. You fully expected him to receive the same type of annoyed looks that you had gotten, and maybe even more because he showed up later than you, but he got nothing but happy smiles from the majority of the moms.
That complete opposite reaction severely confused you and you wondered how he was able to receive such niceness when all you got was the coldest of shoulders.
Meeting after meeting it was continuously proven that he was the favorite among the moms, and it didn’t take you too long to learn why. He was a charmer, which everyone absolutely loved, and he seemed to effortlessly throw money at any school activity or fundraising event, another reason why he was so goddamn adored.
You were probably the only one that didn’t give a fuck about his charming personality, and instead, you would inwardly roll your eyes or scoff at pretty much anything he’d say and how easily the moms ate it up. Because when you really looked at it, you two were pretty much doing the same exact things— only moderately participating in events, showing up to the big monthly meetings instead of the weekly ones (and he was still always late to them), and not signing up for fields trips or activities that happened during school hours because of how overly demanding your jobs were; you’d learned from one particularly chatty mom that he worked at a pretty intense marketing firm. However, there was such a stark difference in treatment because he was the “hot single dad that gave a lot of money;” all of the moms practically fell at his feet and seemed to only tolerate you.
Maybe it was a hint of jealousy talking, but he still always managed to piss you off and you didn’t like him at all. It was an animosity that was perhaps just one-sided, and you hated yourself for caring so much, but that changed in April; during a moment where if the circumstances were different, it would’ve felt like some sort of romcom-esque “meet cute.” But, you basically despised Steve, so instead the whole situation just made your blood boil.
It was a Thursday at almost five o’clock during parent-teacher conference week; it was the only day that could work in your insanely busy schedule and you managed to get the latest time slot with Oliver’s teacher. You were pacing in the hallway where all three of the Kindergarten classrooms were; a coffee in one hand, because it was the only thing keeping you going that late in the day, and your phone in the other as you texted back an employee who was having problems with the oven. You were seconds away from calling him— because you knew that the issue would probably be solved quicker if you did so— but before you could, you were bombarded by someone who was quickly coming around the corner and they crashed into you. The abrupt collision was forceful enough to make your drink spill on you and your phone slip out of your hand.
You glanced down at your now coffee-stained white shirt and then up at the person who had caused this mess, and of course, it was Steve Harrington standing in front of you. You had to fight the immediate urge to roll your eyes.
“Oh, shit. My bad,” He quickly said. “I’m minutes away from being late for my parent-teacher meeting, so I was rushing from the parking lot. Now it really does make sense why teachers always said no running in the halls, right? Because something like this can happen.” As he rambled, you picked up your phone off the ground, glad that it wasn’t broken, and then you tossed your now mostly empty coffee cup into the trash can nearby. When you looked back at him, you saw that he was fishing his wallet out of his back pocket. “Anyway, maybe I can pay for your dry cleaning? Or so you can at least get another coffee later or tomorrow?”
If it had been anyone else, you would’ve thought that the gesture was nice. But, since it was coming from Steve Harrington it only pissed you off because, of course, money was his immediate thought solution.
That time it was too difficult to not allow yourself to roll your eyes at him. “Y’know, throwing money at everything doesn’t make you a good dad. It actually makes you kind of an asshole.”
You knew that you were being a little too harsh, but it was still too hard to feel completely regretful about your words; you were pissed at this current situation that was fully caused by him and you were also pissed simply because he was him.
You weren’t sure what you expected Steve to respond with, but he easily matched your angry energy. He narrowed his eyes at you. “Well, at least, I can do something. You barely show up to things and can’t give money to make up for it, so how much of a ‘good mom’ does that make you?”
Before you could say anything in response to that— a response that probably would’ve started and ended with a simple “Fuck you”— you heard your name being called from behind you by Oliver’s teacher. With everything happening with the man in front of you right then, you’d almost forgotten the meeting you were at the school for in the first place.
Instead of saying anything to Steve, you simply buttoned up the black cardigan you were wearing to cover the majority of the coffee stain on your shirt and then walked away from him, putting on a smile and greeting Miss Wilson.
It wasn’t outwardly stated right then, but it was pretty much sealed then that this disliking could no longer be confused for being something that was one-sided. You two hadn’t said any words to each other since that moment in the hallway, and instead only annoyed looks and glares were shared anytime you saw one another; which lucky for you, actually wasn’t too frequent.
On the first day of school, you learned that his daughter was in the same First Grade class as Oliver due to the emergency contact form all the parents had to fill out, which was then condensed into one sheet and shared among everyone for “just in case” purposes, and Steve’s name and number was on there. You really didn’t think it would be that big of a deal because you could still avoid him like the plague that he was, and that was exactly what you’d been doing for the last two weeks.
However, you did not think that your kids would become friends.
“Can we have a playdate tomorrow?” Oliver asked.
You racked your brain for a response; a way to say no without actually saying it because you really did hate disappointing him. “Oh, um, this weekend is gonna be really busy. But, maybe soon though, okay?”
He frowned a bit but still nodded. “Okay.”
You held out your hand so that he could slip his in and then you started heading to your car.
“We have to go back to the coffee shop for a few more hours before we can go home. But, how does pizza for dinner tonight sound?” You asked as you buckled him in his car seat. The offer was an attempt to cheer him up and you hoped it worked; probably like every other six-year-old, Oliver loved pizza.
He smiled at that. “Ooh, yeah, that’s good.”
You smiled back at him and inwardly hoped that this playdate idea would blow over over the next few days. And that the thought of you having to spend any sort of willing time with Steve Harrington would become a scary thought that only occasionally haunted your dreams, instead of it being something that actually became real.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
Of course, it did not blow over.
Excuse after excuse would fall from your lips, but Olly was determined and your words of “Today’s really busy” or “This weekend probably won’t be good” didn’t discourage him from continuing to ask.
As the days came and went and a week passed with Olly asking the same question each day, you were so close to sucking it up and calling Steve and finally setting something up, but you were still way too fucking prideful to do so.
That didn’t stop you from thinking about doing it most days, though. But it was easier not to think about it when you were busying yourself at the coffee shop, and it was almost too easy to make yourself busy in some way there. And that was something that didn’t change on this Friday.
Oliver was sitting in his favorite booth working on homework and you were behind the counter, making a simple hot chocolate for the older woman who would come in almost every afternoon, typically around four o’clock.
“Enjoy,” You said with a smile as you handed her the drink.
Things in the coffee shop were calm and quiet, and you were about to go see if Oliver needed any help with the worksheets he was doing, but then your phone started vibrating in your back pocket. When you grabbed it, you saw that it was a random number calling, and maybe you should’ve thought about that fact more before answering, but you didn’t.
“Hello?”
“Has Oliver asked to have a playdate with Madeline?” You quickly recognized Steve’s voice.
You let out a small sigh. “At least once a day since last Friday.”
“Same here with Maddie,” Steve said and then let out a sigh of his own. “We need to let this happen. I don’t think either of them are gonna let it go.”
At first, you didn’t say anything in response to his words. You wanted to disagree with Steve, but you knew that you couldn’t because it was the truth. And then there was the fact that every time you gave some sort of fake excuse to Olly, you would feel like the worst parent ever, so maybe it would be best to just finally let this happen. “You’re right. Are you free tomorrow?”
“Yes,” He answered. “We can just do a quick thing at the park if that’s good?”
That was exactly what you were about to suggest, but you didn't tell him that. “Yeah, that’s fine. Is twelve okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay.”
Steve didn’t say anything in response to you and instead simply ended the call there. The lack of an actual goodbye almost made you want to roll your eyes in annoyance, but you didn’t because you knew that you probably would’ve done the same thing to him.
You put your phone back in your pocket and walked over to the two-person booth Oliver was sitting at, sliding in across from him. “Hey, bud, I have really fun news. You and Maddie are finally gonna have your playdate tomorrow.”
Seeing the elated grin immediately take over his face made the fact that you’d be spending a few hours with Steve Harrington tomorrow worth it.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
You never thought you’d witness a moment where Steve was actually on time for something, but for once he was. When you pulled into the small parking lot of the park, you already saw him sitting on one of the wooden benches that surrounded the playground watching Maddie go down a slide.
Moments after the car was put in park, Oliver was unbuckling himself and rushing to get out so that he could head over to where Maddie was. You could only smile at his enthusiasm before telling him to slow down and be careful.
You took your time walking over to where Steve was because of how much you were dreading it, and for a moment you debated whether or not you should sit next to him or go to the bench that was empty and a few feet away. Ultimately, you decided to just sit next to him; you could be civil for a couple of hours.
“Hi,” You said as you sat down on the wooden bench.
He looked at you just for a second before turning back to the playground. “Hey.”
“How are you?” You asked. It was always easy to go into the mundane small talk you’d have all day with customers; aside from the ones that were the regulars that you knew too well and couldn’t simply ask how they were doing without actually meaning it.
“Good,” Steve responded. “You?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” You answered with a small nod.
A silence that could only be deemed as awkward began to linger in the air because it felt as if there was absolutely nothing else to say. If he was a customer, you would’ve simply taken his order and he would have walked away by now, but obviously, this wasn’t that kind of interaction. The only sound that could be heard was the handful of other parents with their children and your own kids looking happier than ever.
It could’ve been easy for you to make some joke to Steve about how weird this entire situation felt because of how much animosity you had toward each other and now there you two were on a sort of playdate of your own because of your kids. And then the two of you would have laughed about this current set of circumstances, and maybe that would’ve allowed things to actually start to feel somewhat okay. But, it just felt way too hard to let yourself actually be civil toward him, even though you had told yourself that you would be.
“I’m very surprised you’re actually on time for something. After all the PTA meetings, I thought you were incapable of it,” You said, still staring straight ahead as you then took a sip from the water you had in your hand.
“And you’re late, which is not surprising,” He told you with a small scoff.
Aside from that first time you had been late for the meeting, there was one other time where you were late again and, of course, that was also the one time where Steve managed to be a little bit earlier than you. Given that he had been late countless times, you felt that it was both stupid and unwarranted for him to use the single time he saw you late against you.
“Whatever,” You said as you rolled your eyes. “Not that I even owe you an explanation for being only five minutes late today, but the coffee shop was starting to have a rush right before me and Olly were about to leave, and I didn’t want to leave my employee right then to completely fend for himself.”
“That’s interesting because every time I drive by the place, it looks the complete opposite of busy.”
Perhaps this entire conversation immediately taking the shittiest turn was your fault because you “fired the first shot,” but his words felt equivalent to a low blow. You pretended as if you were completely unaffected by them and tried your hardest not to recognize the slight validity behind them— the coffee shop had its peak times and also its deserted moments, and maybe sometimes it did feel a bit more deserted than not, but you were surviving and right then that was all that mattered you.
You glared harshly at him although he wasn’t even looking back at you. Muttering a “Fuck you” was right on the tip of your tongue, but you bit it back and instead got up from the bench and started moving to an empty one. Steve didn’t say anything else to you and instead seemed completely unfazed by you walking away from him.
You watched Oliver and Maddie talking and laughing at the top of a slide that was big enough to fit both of them and they went down it together. Seeing how happy Olly was and knowing that this was the first friend he actually wanted to spend time with outside of school, made dealing with Steve’s bullshit right then completely okay with you.
When two o’clock rolled around, you were waving Oliver over to you, much to his dismay.
“I know it’s time to go, but can we all get food together?” He asked when he walked over to you.
For once, the excuse for saying no that you were about to tell him wasn’t a made-up one. “We gotta go pick Eddie up from the airport, remember? Also, he told me that he has a bunch of cool stuff to give you from California.”
“Oh, yeah,” Oliver said, a smile taking over his face. “I almost forgot he was coming today.”
He went over to where Maddie was now standing with Steve and he gave her a quick hug goodbye before running back over to you.
Instead of giving any sort of verbal goodbye to Steve, you simply gave him a small wave. It was hard to wrap your head around the fact that you’d now probably have to see him more often than not. With how happy Oliver and Maddie looked playing together, you knew that today definitely wouldn’t just be a one-time thing.
Somehow with the wave Steve gave back to you, you could tell that he knew that too.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
You were in no way related to Eddie Munson, but he felt more like family than your actual family.
He was the first person you met when you moved to Hawkins three years ago. After going through a messy divorce that felt like it had actively taken at least ten years off of your life, it felt so goddamn nice to immediately make a friend in this town that was completely new to you.
Coming from Chicago, a city that had always felt way too big for you, any small town sounded perfect in your eyes, and you were able to find a cheap-ish house in Hawkins, so it was the winner.
You met Eddie at a grocery store a week after you’d moved in. It was also your birthday, a fact that three-year-old Oliver didn’t fail to tell Eddie when you accidentally bumped into him— quite literally crashed your cart into the guy— in the bread aisle.
“Happy birthday,” He had said to you and you gave him a small smile before proceeding to say another sorry for bumping your cart into him. He then looked at Oliver. “Are you gonna bake a birthday cake for her?”
Oliver visibly brightened and turned to you. “Ooh, yeah, can we bake a cake?”
“Sure,” You nodded and smiled at his eagerness.
He smiled widely and then looked back at Eddie. “Can you come over and help us make it?”
“Oh, um…” Eddie’s eyes met yours to see what you wanted him to say.
“You can, if you want,” You told him and you genuinely meant your words. He seemed normal, and even though this was a small town, he was the first person who had been so outwardly nice to you and Olly.
“Okay, yeah, I’d love to help,” He said with a nod. “I’m Eddie, by the way.”
You told him your name and then gestured to Olly. “And this is Oliver.”
“Sorry for suggesting this idea and contributing to the sugar high that will probably be happening tonight,” Eddie told you as you moved to the next aisle where all of the baking stuff was, you were giving Oliver full reign over what cake mix you got.
“Apology not accepted,” You responded but still smiled at him.
Many hours later, when the cake was baked and Oliver was tucked away in bed after having two pieces of it, you pulled out a bottle of wine for you and Eddie to drink. And then because of the wine and because of the fact that birthdays always managed to bring something severely melancholic out of you, you started crying to him about your divorce that had just been finalized, the affair that your husband had with his coworker being the catalyst for said divorce, and how you felt so weirdly alone in this new town but also not at all alone because you had Oliver.
Somehow none of that managed to scare him away— even though you would’ve been completely understanding if it had— and a friendship had been cemented ever since.
Eight months ago, he moved to California because of a huge opportunity he got with his music; it was something he had been waiting for for so many years. You had called it a “big break,” but he thought that sounded too pretentious.
You hadn’t really wanted him to leave, he was your best friend— your only friend in this town— but you were also so happy for him. And the distance actually managed to feel somewhat okay because you two would talk all the time and he’d visit every few months.
Oliver especially didn’t mind the distance because whenever Eddie did come back to Hawkins for a visit, it always meant that he’d get some cool new toys from him. And this time proved to be no different.
The three of you were in the coffee shop. It was quiet right then— you didn’t think about Steve’s words from earlier— and you watched Eddie smile at Oliver as he animatedly talked about something, you assumed he was telling Eddie about Madeline.
Moments later, Eddie walked over to where you stood behind the counter, beginning the clean-up process because you were closing in about an hour.
“It’s really nice seeing how fucking– I mean fudging,” He turned around to see if Oliver heard what he’d just said, but Olly was too busy playing with his new red toy car to hear anything. “Happy he is. All he’s been doing is rambling about his new friend.”
“Yeah, it’s really great,” You said, smiling as you thought about how happy he had been at the park earlier. You then thought about Steve and inwardly sighed. “Well, for the most part.”
“Why? Is she a bad influence or something? I didn’t think there could be bad influences in first grade,” Eddie said and then laughed a bit. “Actually, scratch that, I was definitely a bad influence in first grade.”
An amused look crossed your face. “You talk a lot about this “bad boy persona” you used to have, but I don’t know if I really believe it because all I see is a guy that actually enjoys buying toys for a six-year-old.”
He smiled at that. “I changed. Turned over a new leaf.”
“Mhm, got it,” You responded, your voice slightly sarcastic because it was still hard to imagine Eddie as anything other than the nice guy who baked a cake with you and Oliver on your birthday. “Anyway, though, it’s not the girl that’s the problem; she’s really sweet and nice. It’s her parent that’s the worst person in the world.”
Eddie nodded. “Okay, tell me all about this mean mom drama.”
“It’s a dad, actually,” You said and then started explaining everything that you had never said aloud before. You told Eddie all of it— how Steve was so easily able to throw money at anything the school needed, how he was basically treated like a King among the other moms because of that, the incident that happened last year during parent-teacher conference week where everything between you two fully came to a head, and the shitty conversation you had with him at the park only hours earlier.
“Wow, I’ve missed a lot. I can’t believe you have a nemesis, and I also can’t believe you never told me about him.”
“He’s the last thing I ever want to think about, let alone talk about. If it wasn’t for Oliver becoming friends with his daughter, you wouldn’t be hearing about him. Also, I feel like “nemesis” is a bit of an exaggeration.”
“I can call him your mortal enemy, if you want,” Eddie said with a teasing smile and you only rolled your eyes in response, refraining from flipping him off. “What’s his name? Maybe I know him. Aside from you, people rarely ever move to this town for fun, so he’s probably been here his whole life.”
You actually never thought about the potential of Eddie knowing Steve, although it was completely plausible given the reason your friend just mentioned.
“Steve Harrington.”
“Oh.”
From Eddie’s reaction, the answer to your next question seemed pretty obvious but you still decided to ask it. “You know him?”
“Yeah, we were in high school at the same time.”
“Okay, what was he like?”
“All the typical high school stuff. He was a popular guy, played sports, was kind of a jerk but pretty much all of the girls still loved him.”
You scoffed and rolled your eyes. “That sounds very accurate.”
“By the end of it, though, he seemed like somewhat of a changed guy. Got his heart broken by the nice girl, and then became friends with actual good people,” Eddie told you, and that was the one part of his description of the Steve that he had known that managed to actually surprise you. “I didn’t know he had a kid now.”
“Yup, and he’s also changed back into the jerk that you originally knew him as in high school,” You said. “And the most fuc— fudged up part of it all is that we should be friends. Which probably makes me sound crazy because of everything I just said, but it’s true. Me and him are basically in the same boat— the only single parents in the grade, we both have time-consuming jobs, and now even our kids are friends with each other. It would just make sense if we were actually friends too.”
“I mean, you still could be, right?”
You immediately shook your head. “Wrong. There’s no way that could ever happen.”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
The rest of September and most of October flew by with what felt like an abrupt kind of quickness.
Absolutely nothing changed between you and Steve, even with Eddie’s idea that maybe it could. The only time the two of you talked to each other was if it involved your kids and if you were setting up the day and time for another park playdate, which quickly managed to become a weekly thing because of how adamant Oliver and Madeline were— just like you assumed they’d be.
It may have seemed a little weird, these brief conversations you’d have with one another that were nothing more and nothing less than transactional, but it worked perfectly for you two.
“This weekend is gonna be pretty busy for me, so is tomorrow after school good?” You asked Steve. A PTA meeting had just ended and you and him were lingering by the same exit that the kids would come out of when school was over.
You were pretty close to not showing up to this Thursday night meeting, but you knew that you had to because it was about the Winter Carnival happening in December. It was a huge event that would be an “all hands on deck” kind of situation, which was why they talked about it so far in advance and why attendance at any meeting discussing it was pretty much mandatory.
Steve shook his head at your question. “I have this big work thing tomorrow, so I have to pick up Maddie and then drop her off at the babysitter before rushing back to the city.”
You nodded understandingly at his words. A part of you knew that you should have left it at that, because you tried to set something up and that should’ve been more than enough of an effort, but instead, you found yourself saying, “I can pick her up and take the two of them to the park tomorrow if you want.”
Steve was quiet and your words simply lingered in the open air. You almost regretted making the suggestion because you felt as if he was somehow going to find a way to be a dick about it, but then he looked at you curiously, and another look that you couldn’t decipher crossed his face too as he said, “You sure?”
You nodded at him. “Yeah, it’s really no problem.” And it honestly wasn’t a problem in the slightest; Madeline was the sweetest girl ever. She reminded you nothing of Steve, so you assumed that she got her personality from her mom; you still had no idea what that entire situation entailed. “What time will you be done with work?”
“Hopefully around five or six,” He answered. There was still that look on his face, which you still couldn’t tell what it said, but you really wanted to know.
“Okay, after the park, I can take them back to my house and you can pick Maddie up from there when you’re done with work,” You said, only a little surprised at how easily this idea came together. “Olly’s been wanting to show her his new fish, anyway.”
“Yeah, I think she’s mentioned his fish to me probably a thousand times. It’s blue and purple, right?”
“Yeah, it’s a betta fish; Barnaby.”
“Barnaby?”
You shrugged. “I have no idea how Olly came up with that name, but I will admit that it does sound more like the name of an old sailor lost at sea rather than a fish. But, in some weird way, both of those things are actually kind of related.”
Steve laughed at that and somehow it didn’t sound the least bit mocking or condescending, it was more amused. Hearing that sound coming from him shocked you as much as it, surprisingly, made you inwardly smile.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
The amount of dark clouds in the sky didn’t necessarily faze you until a raindrop hit your cheek as you sat on a park bench watching Oliver and Madeline on the playground. It was a light drizzle that transformed into something heavier in a matter of minutes and you realized that you probably should’ve been more mindful of what the weather was going to be today.
Neither of the kids really minded the rain putting an end to their time at the park though, because Oliver was happy to go home so that Maddie could finally see the fish.
They bounded up the stairs to Olly’s room the second you unlocked the front door, and you headed to the kitchen, sending a simple text to Steve in the process.
You: Had to leave the park because of the rain. We’re at my place now
At first, the lack of a response from him didn’t surprise you because it was only around four-thirty and he was probably busy. He was also Steve Harrington and he rarely ever responded to you in a timely manner.
You heard the sound of footsteps racing down the stairs and you looked up from your phone, after checking it for probably the hundredth time in the past hour, to see Olly and Maddie coming into the kitchen.
“Can you convince my dad to get me a fish?” Maddie asked as she and Olly joined you at the small dining table.
You smiled and nodded at her. “I can try.”
“Thanks,” She said, smiling back at you. “The only time I get to see any pets is at my Aunt Robin’s house. She has a golden retriever.”
“Oh, that’s really cool. What’s its name?”
“Willow. She’s a girl.”
Oliver looked at you. “Can we get a dog next?”
“Let’s just worry about Barnaby for now,” You told Olly, giving him a small smile. You could only imagine how much more hectic your life would become if you two got a dog anytime soon. “I was thinking about doing dino nuggets and french fries for you guys for dinner. How does that sound?”
They both perked up at that and nodded and you got up to turn on the oven, purposefully leaving your phone on the table because you wanted a break from impulsively checking it every few minutes. It slightly annoyed you that you heard nothing from Steve yet, and it annoyed you even more that the lack of a response felt personal. You wondered if he actually hadn’t seen your message yet, or if he was simply being an asshole and not responding with a simple “Okay” or even a thumbs up to it on purpose.
It wasn’t until the time was a little after six, and you still hadn’t heard anything from Steve, that your initial annoyance toward him not responding to you and not giving you any sort of updates on what was happening with him over the past few hours, morphed into something that resembled worry.
You walked out of the living room and into the kitchen and pulled your phone out of your back pocket so that you could call him. Your gaze moved toward the window as you pressed your phone to your ear; the weather outside still looked pretty shitty. The call went straight to voicemail and you sighed as you waited for the beep.
“Hey, um, it’s me. That’s probably very obvious. Um, anyway, you said you’d be done with work around five or six, but I haven’t heard anything from you in the last couple of hours… I hope everything’s fine. Um, any sort of update would be really nice. Call, or at least text me, whenever you get this. Okay… Bye.”
You hung up and slipped your phone back in your pocket.
It was an obvious fact that you didn’t like Steve Harrington, but that didn’t mean you wanted anything bad to happen to him.
The only thing that managed to not make you feel completely worried was that Maddie seemed okay and not worried at all. Instead, she and Olly were in the living room playing in the fort you made for them out of couch cushions and throw blankets.
You went back into the living room and sat down on the small loveseat that was the only piece of furniture that still had its cushion left.
“You guys okay in there?”
“Yup!”
“Yes!”
Hearing their chorus of happy “yeses” made you inwardly sigh in relief and lean back into the chair, letting your eyes shut just for a second and muttering to yourself that everything was and would be fine.
Your phone was still glued to your hand as you grabbed the remote with your other and turned on a random Disney movie for the kids to listen to as background noise and for you to take your mind off of Steve, even though all you were waiting and hoping for was for your phone to vibrate in your hand with a call or text from him.
You didn’t realize that you’d fallen asleep in the chair until you were startled awake by the sound of the doorbell ringing. The abruptness of it actually managed to scare you, so much so that you could immediately feel your heartbeat pounding in your ears when you opened your eyes.
The second Lilo & Stitch movie was now playing on the TV and through your half-awake haze, you found the remote to pause it. You then peeked inside the fort and saw that Olly and Maddie were asleep.
As you rubbed the slight tiredness out of your eyes and got up from the couch, you checked your phone and saw that the time was 8:11pm. The doorbell rang again as you unlocked the door and the first thing that you noticed when you opened it was that it was no longer raining, you were unsure when it had finally stopped.
“Hi.”
Seeing Steve standing in front of you managed to immediately wash away the worry you had been feeling for the last couple of hours. And it was quickly and completely replaced with the annoyance you’d initially felt. “What the hell happened?”
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Hearing a genuine apology come from Steve Harrington’s mouth actually managed to baffle you. “My meeting at work ran over, and there was no way to get out of it, not even for a second. And then there was a ton of traffic because of the rain, so a drive that typically only takes thirty minutes took longer than an hour. Also, I have the worst and probably oldest phone in the world because it never holds a charge anymore, and it was plugged in during the entire drive but didn’t turn on at all. So, I’m really sorry that I haven’t been able to call or text or anything. These past few hours have been hell.” He let out a sigh and then looked at you, concerned. “How’s Maddie? Is she okay?”
There were a lot of words that had been thrown at you during Steve’s ramble, but hearing his full explanation and how apologetic he was made your annoyance with him dissipate into nothing just like your worry did. Instead, you felt a little bad for him because of all the shit he had to endure in the past few hours. You pushed the door open further to fully let him in.
“She’s good. She’s okay. She and Olly are sleeping in the living room. I made them a little fort,” You told him as he walked in and you pointed to where the kids were in the living room, and he nodded when he saw the construction of couch cushions and blankets.
You looked at Steve and hesitated for a moment. You knew that this was where the goodbyes for the night should’ve started, but it didn’t feel right to have him leave just yet; he still seemed sort of frazzled and stressed about everything that happened. You started heading toward the kitchen and he followed you. “Do you maybe, uh, want something to drink?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Okay, I have water and juice boxes,” You told him and turned around to meet his eyes, he was leaning against the small island. “It’s moments like these where it sucks being the “good influence/leading by example” parent because I can’t offer you something fun, like a soda.”
Steve laughed a bit; it still felt so foreign hearing that sound from him. “A juice box is fine. That’s probably all that lives at my house too.”
You grabbed one from the fridge and then closed it. “I hope you like apple.”
“My favorite, actually,” He said as you handed the drink to him, and you couldn’t tell if he was joking or not, but you didn’t have enough time to really ponder that before he completely changed the subject. “How was Maddie when you picked her up? When I told her about it this morning, she seemed excited about it and about hanging out with Oliver after school too, but was she really okay?”
You nodded at his question. “She was great. They both had fun at the park and didn’t even mind the rain because they really wanted to come here and see the fish.”
He smiled and you could see the immediate relief wash over his face. “Okay.”
“She also wants me to try and convince you to get her a fish.”
“Of course she does,” He said before taking a sip from the juice box. You had to admit, it was a little funny seeing a man wearing professional clothes, that were probably so expensive, drinking from a tiny juice box meant for little kids.
“I’m honestly kinda surprised that you pick her up every day,” You told him as you turned and went back into the fridge to pull out a water for yourself. “Given your job, I thought you’d just have a babysitter or someone pick her up most of the time. I had no idea it was half an hour away.”
“I didn’t used to do it… Her, um, her mom would,” He said and you could tell by the way he said those words that whatever happened involving Maddie’s mom was a touchy subject. It sounded similar to how you’d usually sound whenever you talked about Oliver’s dad— a little sad and a lot like you’d rather talk about anything else.
Your mind started desperately trying to think of a way to change the subject; it was what you would’ve wanted him to do for you if the tables were turned. But, before you could say the first thing that came to mind, which was, “So, I wonder if it’s gonna rain tomorrow too,” Steve started talking again.
“It had become a routine because of how hectic my job is. She’d always drop Maddie off and pick her up. But, she, uh… She left last year, so that changed everything,” He told you. You closed the fridge and turned around to face him; you forgot to grab your water but that was the last thing on your mind right then.
This conversation suddenly felt like completely uncharted territory between you and Steve because you two did not talk about touchy subjects— you and him barely talked about anything at all. But, for some odd reason, you didn’t necessarily mind the serious turn to the conversation because maybe it was a shit ton of honesty that was needed for you two to actually, finally, not dislike each other.
Steve ran a hand through his hair and pulled his eyes away from yours. He instead fixed his attention on his juice box in hand. “It happened around this time in October. She dropped Maddie off at school, but didn’t pick her up.”
Hearing him say that surprised you as much as it confused you because you had absolutely no idea that happened last year. But with how busy you’d been then, and since you weren’t friends with any of the “gossipy” moms that somehow always knew everything, it did make a little sense why you knew nothing.
“Maddie was waiting in the office for about two hours after school was over before I could get there because I was in a meeting and didn’t see the calls coming from the school. She didn’t really know what was happening, but she was still so sad and I think that somehow a small part of her did know.” He shook his head and sighed, a look that could only be deemed as melancholic crossed his face. “I never want her to feel abandoned like that again, so I always make sure to drop her off and pick her up now.”
As he said his last words, something managed to shift inside of you in a matter of a split second. Suddenly, his name was no longer “the worst person in the world” in your mind.
In all of your months of having this “nemesis relationship” — as Eddie would call it— with Steve Harrington, you never thought that your opinion of him would ever be able to change. However, in this moment of you two standing across from each other at your small kitchen island as Steve held a freaking juice box in his hand, it finally did. He was a good person, a really fucking good person.
You were able to see it so goddamn easily then— the exact ways that he and Maddie were just alike. She got her personality from him, you were now quite literally certain of it. And you immediately felt bad for ever thinking differently.
“I’m sorry about what I said last year during conference week,” You told him, suddenly ready to give him your own burst of honesty. “I was pissed that you spilled my coffee all over me, and I was even more pissed because it was you, and you annoyed me so much. Because even though we’re kind of in the same boat with the amount of “active” things we do for the school, all of the moms love you so much and I swear they hate me, and it’s just so annoying.” You let out a small sigh and then met his gaze before saying the words that you didn’t think you’d ever say to him. “Anyway, you’re a really good dad, and I’m so sorry for telling you differently.”
“I’m sorry for what I said that day too. You’re a really great mom,” He said, giving you a small smile, and it slightly shocked you how much hearing that meant to you. Aside from Eddie, you couldn’t remember the last time someone said that to you. “And I don't think the moms at school actually like me. I think they just pity me because of everything that happened, and how they basically saw it all blow up in real time. Since pre-school, Maddie’s mom was dropping her off and picking her up, and suddenly one day she was completely gone. I swear the number of times I got phone calls that were a bunch of them saying, “We’re here for you,” but they really just wanted to get the full story about what happened, was insane during those first few months.”
“Jesus, small town moms are the worst,” You said as you shook your head. “Or, at least, ours are.”
You looked away from Steve and turned around, finally going back to the fridge to grab a water. “Oliver’s dad was kind of the same way. He left too. Or maybe it’s actually not the same because I made him leave— he was having an affair with his coworker. But, he also wanted to leave and be with her, so maybe it actually is a little similar. Sorry, now I’m just rambling about that asshole,” You said and rolled your eyes at yourself. You weren’t sure why you even decided to circle the conversation back to your exes.
“Do you and Oliver ever see him anymore?” Steve asked, and when you closed the fridge and turned back to face him, you shook your head at his question.
“Not since we moved here. He does the bare minimum and sends Olly checks for his birthday and Christmas. Which I think is dumb because no kid wants a check as a present; even I would rather get an actual gift than a stupid check,” You told Steve as you opened up your water. “Does Maddie ever see her mom, or does she ever come around sometimes?”
With the way she left, you were almost certain that the answer was no, but you were still curious.
“No, she hasn’t, and I don’t think she would ever want to,” Steve answered and you gave him a small nod of understanding before he continued. “I remember about a week after everything happened, and after avoiding my many calls and texts, she finally called me. She was really apologetic about the way she decided to leave, but she said that she just couldn’t do it anymore because none of this life that we had here was making her happy, and she didn’t want me to try and convince her to stay. When she said that, it made me realize that the smallest part of me knew that this would eventually happen. Maddie was completely unexpected and our relationship had already gotten pretty bad before we found out, so neither of us was remotely ready to be parents, but we still decided to do it and try to make it all work. Right when I saw Maddie for the first time I knew that she was the best thing that ever happened to me and I couldn’t imagine my life without her, and that never changed. But, it wasn’t the same way for her mom, and sometimes it seemed like she felt the complete opposite way. So, in a way, I can understand why she knew she had to leave. I hate the way that she did it, but ultimately I understand that this wasn’t the life she wanted, and she’d never want it.” A sad smile took over his face.
“We don’t have to keep talking about this if you don’t want to,” You told him, suddenly feeling bad that you had been the one to bring the conversation back to this in the first place. “We can change the subject to anything else. Maybe the weather? I wonder if it’s gonna rain again tomorrow…”
“No, it’s okay,” Steve said. “I really never thought I’d say this because we’ve never had a real conversation before, but I think I actually like talking to you.” He shook his head at his words. “I’m sorry, that probably sounds fucked up.”
“No, don’t be sorry. I feel the same exact way. Ten minutes ago I couldn’t really stand the thought of having any sort of conversation with you, and now I feel like an idiot for hating you all this time. So, this is insanely fast progress,” You said and then immediately thought of something. “Wow, I really wish I had some alcohol for us to drink right now because us actually not despising each other anymore is a milestone that truly should be toasted to.”
Steve laughed a bit; it was nice hearing that sound after all the sad stuff that had just been shared by both of you. He raised his juice box toward you a bit. “This will have to do, I guess.”
You raised your water and “clinked” it with the juice box. “Cheers to… whatever we are now.”
It didn’t feel entirely like a friendship, but it, at least, felt like you two could actually be nice to one another and not feel pained to do so.
“Cheers to that,” Steve said with a quick nod and then finished off the rest of what was left in his small juice box. “I should grab Maddie and head home. She has dance class at eight in the morning. She hates it for the most part, but she has a recital next week and I told her that she should push through until that and then we can quit. A part of me is kind of glad that she hates it, though, because classes are insanely expensive.”
“Olly’s starting soccer at the end of the month,” You told him. “It’s for boys and girls. You should see if Maddie wants to do that.”
“If Oliver’s doing it, she’ll probably say yes.”
You nodded at that and how true it was on both sides. “I’ll text you the information.”
“Thanks,” He said and smiled.
You followed him as he walked into the living room to get Maddie. She was still fast asleep as her arms circled around his neck when he picked her up. You grabbed her bookbag that she and Oliver left by the front door and helped Steve hook one of his arms in it.
Somehow something was silently exchanged in that last look shared between you and him before you said your final goodbyes for the night, and you softly shut and locked your door behind him. It was a look that expressed that you both were glad about what happened in the past twenty minutes— the honesty-filled conversation that led to you two finally understanding one another and realizing how you were actually more alike than either of you had ever thought.
It was a realization that was simultaneously surprising and refreshing.
“Goodnight,” You said, giving him a small smile and he smiled back at you.
“Goodnight.”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
PART TWO
let me know ur thoughts<333
#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington fic#dad!steve harrington#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington smut#steve harrington x you#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington x fem!reader#stranger things fluff#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington x fem#steve harrington x reader smut#stranger things fic#stranger things imagine#stranger things series#steve harrington series
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episode nine: the good
Soon it’s just you and Steve. You work around one another, anticipating each other’s next move, never getting in the way. Soft music plays from the record player that sits in the den. Steve puts on one of his father’s old records, gentle rock and delicate jazz. You hum to yourself, he hums with you, and it’s a peaceful morning. Until Richard and May Harrington walk in. Neither of you notice them at first. Steve is too busy spinning you around, playfully dipping you as the music comes to a grand crescendo. You’re laughing breathlessly, but soon your laughter turns into a yelp when Steve sees his parents standing in the doorway and drops you.
Summary: the party battles the horrors of high school and leave you stranded, tw: applying for college is harder than fighting literal demons (you would know, youve done it), jonathan joins your nightmare blunt rotation, max worries you, and steve solidifies his position of Best Boyfriend in the World as you slowly fall apart (though is anyone really surprised ??).
Rating: general, some swearing
Warnings: cursing, allusions to previous character death
Words: 11.2k idk how or why i needed to say so much
Before you swing in: we're here !!! FINALLY at the end of season 3 <3333 im so so so excited to present to you the groundwork for what i have planned for season 4 ;) it will be ... a lot. the season is huge, its difficult and scary, and i did my best to try and capture its dread and ominous sense of doom in this chapter. please enjoy and bear with me as i prepare for season 4. unsure when i will be done planning her, but i PROMISE itll be worth it !!
-
“Are you sure Ms. Bote is nice?”
“Yes.”
“And that Mr. Cune won’t question the hat?”
“Yes, Dustin.”
“And you’re absolutely sure we have lunch together?”
“Yes.” You tighten the straps on your mary janes and give your brother an exasperated look. All morning he’s been freaking out about his first day of high school. You understand his fear, it’s scary starting at a new school, but you’ve answered all his questions a million times by now and Steve is supposed to be here any second. “We need to go, buddy.”
Dustin shoves a pancake into his mouth, wiping his face with the back of his hand in a disgusting manner. “Wait, but what about my backpack–”
“I have it, Dusty!” Your mother walks into the kitchen and hands it to him. She kisses his mess of curls and strokes your cheek. “Are my darlings ready for their first day of school?”
“No.” You and Dustin say at the same time, which your mother frowns at.
Dustin adjusts his backpack and gives you an odd look. “Why are you nervous? It’s not like you’re being blindly thrown into a den of hormonal creatures out for blood. You’re old now, they’ll leave you alone!”
“Trust me, the college admissions process is a worse monster than school bullies.” You grab your own backpack and start heading towards the front door. “I have to start planning what to write, I–I need more clubs, and projects, and–”
The anxiety overwhelms you. It always starts like this: talk about college, you fall down a hole of uncertainty and dread and fear. It’s been like this ever since Jonathan moved away. The minute the Byers moved, you threw yourself into preparing for college. Rationally, you know it’s your poor way of coping with all the sudden change in your life. You don’t need a psychological research journal to tell you that. In a futile attempt to control your future, you’ve become obsessed with college.
New York University, specifically.
Jonathan has always dreamed of attending, and when you met him, it became your dream, too.
“Okay, dear. Settle down, now.” Your mother places a hand on your shoulder and laughs nervously. She has about five seconds before you collapse into a mess of college admissions rambling and despair. “Let’s go outside and find that wonderful Stevie!”
Your body is shoved out the front door alongside Dustin’s. Steve’s car is parked, he stands outside it, arms crossed and a grin on his face. Your body relaxes when you see him, the buzz of anxiety dims. He’s wearing his Family Video vest, the green makes his tanned skin glow.
“She’s doing it again.” Dustin tells him, tossing his backpack into the backseat.
Steve winces. He knows exactly what your brother is referring to. He’s been at the other end of far too many anxious phone calls at three in the morning. “College?”
“Yeah, she almost had a meltdown in the kitchen.”
“I can hear you both, you know.” Though you try to seem fine, keep up the annoyance, you stand next to Steve and rest your head on his shoulder anyways. He wraps an arm around you and kisses your forehead.
Steve rubs your arm and makes a sympathetic noise. Your mother, seeing how he holds you, squeals. “Oh, stay just like that, hold on!”
“Mom, what–” But your mother ignores you and runs back inside the house. You look at Dustin, terrified. “She’s not…”
He shakes his head at you. He leans against the car next to you and crosses his arms, mimicking Steve’s earlier stance. “She’s mom. Of course she is.”
“What are you guys talking about–” A flash of light momentarily blinds Steve, and he flinches. “Woah, alright.”
“Smile, kids!” Another camera flash, and your mother coos as you, Steve, and Dustin awkwardly shuffle into frame. It’s not that the three of you dislike being near the other, it’s the fact that it’s seven in the morning and neither you nor Dustin are ready for the day ahead. Steve smiles, though. “That’s it! Everyone say, ‘happy first day of school’!”
A mess of incoherent mumbling follows your mothers command, but she doesn’t let it bother her. She takes a million pictures, preens when she sees Steve smile even wider, and she has to hold back tears. Her babies are all grown up. Dustin is a freshman now, and you’re a senior.
“Alright, Mrs. Henderson,” Steve has to quickly blink, trying to regain his eyesight. He adores the woman, he knows he’s become her favorite, but he really needs to get you to school before his shift at Family Video starts. “I have no doubt you’ve already taken the best picture ever.”
“Aw, just one more–”
“Mom.” Dustin clears his throat, urging her to stop, and she sighs.
Your mother kisses Dustin’s head, then yours, and wishes you a good first day before getting into her own car to drive to work. “Bye, kids!”
You all wave at her, and Steve opens the car door for you. Once you’re seated, he goes to the driver’s side and tells Dustin to get in the back. The engine starts, soft music plays from Steve’s radio, and soon the three of you are driving towards Hawkins high.
“No Robin?” You ask Steve after a few minutes of silence. He’s grown rather close to the girl, working together all summer, so you had expected her to drive with you guys to school. When you and him officially got together, Robin made the two of you promise that you wouldn’t abandon her. It was an irrational fear, you love Robin dearly, but you made sure to spend time with her and Steve equally anyways.
“She has band practice this morning,” Steve responds. “So it’s just me and the Hendersons today.”
Dustin shoves his head in between the two of you. His seatbelt strains against his chest, but he doesn’t care. He’s on a mission to get as much information as he possibly can. He refuses to go into high school blind and pathetic. “Steve, you were once popular.”
“Why the past tense? I mean, I’d consider myself still pretty well liked–”
“I need you to tell me what you did that led to your demise so I can avoid doing the same.”
You snort and Steve sighs. The kid really keeps him humble. He stops at a light, looks at Dustin through the rearview mirror, and shakes his head. “What makes you think it was anything I did?”
“Kid’s got a point,” you say from the passenger seat. Steve gives you an offended look and you raise your hands in surrender. “Hey, all I’m saying is that I also don’t really know what happened. You’ve got a track record of pissing off the wrong people. One minute you were King Steve, the next you were shunned.”
Steve groans. “You people have no faith in me.” He can feel you and Dustin staring at him, unbelieving. He hates when the two of you team up against him; it makes it harder for him to lie. Truthfully, he doesn’t want to tell you what happened. Not because he’s embarrassed, or ashamed, even.
He knows it will only upset you. Reopen wounds.
But you and Dustin keep staring at Steve and there’s still at least ten minutes left of the drive. Weighing his options, Steve figures it’s best if he just tells the truth. Like ripping off a bandaid, knowing the pain will be there regardless of how long you stall. “Okay, fine.” He scratches his nose, clears his throat. “It was, uh. Because of Billy.”
The temperature in the car drops. It’s suddenly ice cold.
Dustin slowly leans back against his seat. Steve faces ahead, eyes on the road, but he watches you from his periphery. No one has mentioned Billy since his death, at least not in front of you or Max.
Especially Max.
They wait for you to react. To tense up, ball your hands into fists and wipe away tears. They expect the guilt you’ve barely kept hidden to resurface, but you don’t do any of that. Instead, you surprise them. “Can’t believe you let a mullet defeat you.”
Steve isn’t sure if he’s allowed to laugh at first, worried it’s some bizarre test of yours. But he sees the smile on your face, albeit forced and terse, but he knows you’re trying. So he plays along, relieved that you’re doing what you can. “I don’t know, I thought the mullet looked pretty good.”
“Get a mullet and see how fast I leave you.”
Dustin nods in agreement, Steve shakes his head with a laugh, and the temperature in the car returns. There’s still a slight chill in the air, there will always be a slight chill, but you pull your jacket tighter around you and ignore it.
When you get to the school, Dustin stares at the hounds of teens all walking through the parking lot. He gulps, tightens his hands around his backpack, and you try to ease his apprehension.
“Hey, look at me.” He does, and you extend your arm, offering a handshake. Dustin eyes you wearily, but reluctantly he shakes your hand. You nod at him, hand firm around his. “It’s just you and me. And Lucas. Max, too. Unfortunately, possibly Mike. Copy?”
“Copy.” Dustin releases your hand and salutes you. He pushes his hat down, takes a deep breath, and unbuckles his seatbelt. “Let’s go.”
“Good luck, little Henderson.” Steve salutes him as well before turning to you. He presses his lips to yours, hums, a soft smile on his face. “And good luck, angel.”
Ignoring Dustin’s dramatic gagging in the back, you squeeze Steve’s hand and smile back at him. “Thanks, honey. Have a good day at work.”
Dustin nearly falls out of the car with how fast he scrambles out of it. He’s about to ban all forms of physical affection between you and Steve. It’s disgusting. No one wants to see any of that. You follow after your brother and exit the car.
You only make it a few feet before Steve rolls down the car window and shouts, “I love you!”
A few students in the parking lot turn, and their faces contort into shock when they see none other than Steve Harrington. He waves at them, cocky as always, and you’re both mortified and so in love. He may have lost his crown, but he will always be the king. While Dustin ducks his head down in embarrassment, you wink at Steve. “I love you, too!”
“You’re going to be the reason I end up getting thrown into a dumpster on my first day.”
“Aw, is Dusty-bun jealous?”
“Go die.”
–
The entire day it feels like you’re missing something.
When you get to homeroom, there isn’t a seat saved for you at the front. When the physics teacher drops his chalk five times within the first five minutes, there isn’t anyone to tease you for your poorly contained snicker. In the library, you’re forced to sit in a corner because there’s no one to share the plush sofa with.
There’s no one who whispers answers to you during calculus. No one who hooks their foot around your desk’s leg. No one who doodles in your notebook just to get you to laugh.
Jonathan’s absence is palpable.
You knew it would feel weird, starting senior year without him, but you didn’t think it’d feel so lonely, either. Empty. Unfinished.
By the time lunch comes, you’re slowly losing your mind. You need someone to talk to. Robin and Nancy don’t share any classes with you, Jonathan had been your only real friend at Hawkins, and now you’re paying the price.
You’re the first one at the lunch table, which you figure is a good thing. Earlier in the week you and the party had all agreed to sit together at lunch, you’d been excited to finally share the same school building as them. However, you hadn’t wanted to hover over them. You wanted them to branch out, meet new people, so lunch was your agreed upon time with them.
The lunch room fills with students and you wait anxiously for the rest of the party. You’re excited to see them, ask how their days are going, maybe even gossip about the freshmen, but when they arrive it’s almost as if a tornado rips right through you.
“There you are!” Dustin finds you first and slides into the seat next to you, nearly causing you to face plant into the ground. “Look, we gotta talk.”
You frown. “Okay, is everything–”
“We can’t stay and eat.” Mike cuts to the chase, not even bothering to sit down. Lucas stands behind him, quiet and nervous.
“What, why?”
“Eddie Munson wants to meet us.” Dustin says the boy’s name as if you should know him. But you don’t, and now you’re really confused. What does he have to do with any of this?
“Eddie…?”
Mike rolls his eyes at you. “Eddie Munson, Hellfire club, DnD?” When he sees that nothing he’s saying makes any sense to you, he huffs. “Seriously, do you not know anything?”
You throw a chip at him, hurt. “I was in choir, not some stupid DnD club.”
“Hellfire club isn’t stupid–”
“Anyways!” Dustin cuts the fight short. There isn’t time for you and Mike to argue right now. “Eddie is the dungeon master, and he’s recruiting us to join his party! We–we gotta go and meet him, Y/N. He doesn’t just let plebe freshmen like us join.”
“He’s legendary.” Mike says, and sadly you know he means it. It’s not often someone has the boy’s full admiration. Mike is hard to impress, and this Eddie guy seems to have him wrapped around his finger already.
Dustin stares up at you, eyes pleading to understand, and you know you can’t ruin this for him. Only hours ago he had been terrified of his first day, and now he’s almost vibrating with excitement over the possibility of joining some club. There will be people there like him, others interested in what he loves, and you can’t let your own loneliness ruin that.
“Well,” you clear your throat, try to appear excited for the boys. “Go see Eddie, then.”
“You sure?” Dustin doesn’t want to just leave, he knows you were looking forward to lunch today. He’ll stay if you need him to, he’s sure Mike can talk his way in with Eddie.
You smile at him, force your voice to be light. They’re growing up. You all are. “I’m sure, it’s your first day. You’re supposed to be joining a bunch of clubs, it’s a good way to make friends. I’m proud of you. Seriously.”
Dustin isn’t entirely convinced, but Mike has already grabbed his arm to go and find Eddie. He turns to Lucas, beckons him to follow. “C’mon, dude.”
“I’ll-uh. Follow in a sec.” Mike gives him an odd look, but Lucas is already sitting down next to you. Seeing this, Mike gives up and leaves with Dustin. As soon as they’re gone, Lucas lowers his voice and leans in close to you. “Hey, do you, uh. Know Jason Carver?”
The scent of chocolate ice cream infiltrates your nose, the sound of it colliding into the teen’s pants rings in your ears. The memory of it is tangible, and you have to hold back a laugh. Yeah, you know Jason Carver. “I mean, we aren’t friends, but we know each other. Why?”
“Do you…” Lucas looks around, making sure Mike and Dustin really are gone, before he continues. “Do you think he’d let me join the basketball team?”
You’re surprised. Sure, Lucas has always shown an interest in the sport. He plays with Steve sometimes, they trade cards, but you didn’t think he’d be interested in the school’s team. “Oh.” Then, you realize why he’s stayed behind. “You don’t want to join Hellfire, do you?”
“I know I’m just a freshman, and–and Mike would probably call me dumb for wanting to even try out, but. I don’t know. I think… I think I could be really good on the team. Might make high school easier.”
“Then you should go for it,” you reassure Lucas. He’s always been so careful to not upset others. He’s loyal, down to his very core, you understand the fear that doing something for yourself brings. “Jason isn’t so bad. A bit much, but kind. He’s a team player, and I think they'd be lucky to have someone like you.”
Lucas smiles shyly at you. “Really?”
“Really. Now, go and find the guy. Ask him when try-outs are, and I’ll talk to Steve about practicing more with you. How’s that sound?”
“You’re the best!” Lucas gives you a quick hug, already getting out of his seat, and runs right into Max. They collide, he manages to save her from falling, and he laughs sheepishly. “Sorry, you okay?”
Max nods, silent, and immediately you and Lucas know that today is one of her bad days. Her eyes are sunken in, it doesn’t look like she got any sleep last night. She sits down next to you, and you nod at Lucas, signaling to him that it’s okay if he leaves. You’ll take care of her.
Lucas hesitates, unsure, but reluctantly leaves when you nod at him once more, urging. If it was anyone else, he would stay, but it’s you. Besides Lucas, you’re the only other person Max talks to. You’ll stay with her, Lucas deserves to go and branch out like Mike and Dustin are.
“So, did you know about Lucas wanting to join the basketball team?” You turn to Max once the boy has left. She shrugs, picks at the food in front of her. It’s the most response you’ll get from her, and you sigh. “You don’t want to be here either, do you?”
She looks up at you, alarmed that you caught on so fast, and you just shake your head at her. You dig into your backpack, take out some cookies you baked the night before. They were supposed to be for all the kids today, but they’ve all left and Max needs them more right now. “Here, take these. Go to the left stairwell, next to the choir room. No one goes there during lunch, it’s quiet.”
“Thank you,” Max exhales with relief, taking the baked goods from you. Tears lump in her throat, she doesn’t know how you always manage to do this. To see through her, always say the right thing.
“Of course, my dear.” You risk touching her face, she’s cold, but she closes her eyes and breathes in at the comfort. “I expect to see you at Bookstrordinary after school today, though.”
Somehow Max laughs, and the action hurts her to do so. It’s becoming harder and harder to bear the sound of her own happiness. But she nods at you, understanding that it’s an order she can’t disobey, and leaves.
Then it’s just you at the lunch table. Alone.
Nancy is at yearbook, she’s told you all about her grand plan of reforming the club into something more than just homecoming polls and gossip panels. Robin is at yet another band practice, preparing for the annual back to school pep rally later this week. Steve is at Family Video, bored out of his mind, both of you wishing he were here instead.
And Jonathan is across the country, at an entirely different school, aching to be near you again.
The thought of him in California only intensifies the loneliness that you feel. The feeling overwhelms you, and before it can swallow you whole, you dig through your backpack once more. Your fingers shake as you rustle through the notebooks and textbooks, and they clutch desperately at your walkman when you finally find it. The mixtape Jonathan made for you before he left sits within it.
You quickly place the headphones over your head, muffling the sounds of the cafeteria around you. Your fingers find the play button with practiced ease, and soon the beginning notes of the Beatles play through the wire and into your headphones.
The song soothes you, it quiets what you don’t want to hear; it makes you smile. The mixtape is all you’ve been listening to ever since Jonathan left. Though it can never replace his presence, it’s enough for now.
You stare at the empty seats around you. John Lennon’s voice floats through your ears.
Welcome to senior year.
–
Miraculously, it’s Nancy you lean on the most as the autumn leaves turn orange and the summer’s heat dies down. She finds you later during your first week, grabbing lunch from your locker, and she stops you.
“Don’t tell me you’re going to spend another lunch alone.” Nancy has never been one to greet someone. She always gets straight to the point, a quality that you normally admire.
However, you feel embarrassment rise within you, slightly off put by the cruel words. Sure, you’re not necessarily thrilled that you’ve spent your first few days of senior year alone, but you didn’t need Nancy reminding you of that. “Hello to you too, Nance.”
“Shit, I didn’t mean to offend you.” She holds her notebook close to her chest and looks down in shame. It’s weird, there’s a distance between you that has only seemed to widen despite how hard the two of you try to bridge it. For a while things were good, great, even. She was genuinely your friend, but sometimes insecurities can hurt the ones people love the most.
“Not really sure how I was meant to take that.” You close your locker and try to excuse yourself. You’re exhausted, you hardly slept the night before. “Look, I should go. I stayed up all night working on stupid college applications and I just… I’m tired.”
Nancy’s posture straightens, eager to grab onto any opportunity to amend things with you. “I can read over whatever you have.” When you raise your eyebrows at her, she quickly backtracks, worried she’s overstepped. “I–I mean, that is, if you want. Not that you need the help! It’s just–”
She forces herself to stop. She’s rushing her words, messing it all up. Her shoulders drop, Nancy takes a deep breath and looks you in the eye. She never apologized for her words earlier this summer. The way she sneered venom at you, but she’s carried the guilt of it ever since. “I’m… trying. I promise I am.”
Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers have never handled vulnerability well. It’s what made you stand out against them, set you apart, and you can’t help but find this quality in them endearing. You know that Nancy is trying to go back to how things were, before one phone call between the two of you revealed the unspoken resentment she held.
You never blamed her for any of it. But you know she blames herself, and Jonathan’s absence doesn’t help; both of you miss him, neither of you can afford to lose anyone else.
So you try as well.
“I’ll let you read over what I have only if you let me read what you’ve written as well.” You nudge her shoulder with yours, getting her to finally smile. “I’m curious to see what that brain of yours has thought of already.”
Nancy laughs, relieved. “Definitely nothing as creative as whatever you’ve written.”
“We’ll see about that, Wheeler.”
Soon you find yourself in the yearbook room. Nancy introduces you to some kid named Fred, who moons over her the entire time you’re there, though she doesn’t seem to notice. She’s too busy reading through your ideas, and you find yourself admiring her side profile. The way her eyelashes kiss her brows, the soft cherry on her lips.
Nancy is beautiful. You understand how Jonathan and Fred and Steve and countless other guys in Hawkins have lost their minds over her.
You read through portions of Nancy’s writing, and the two of you sit quietly side by side editing the essays. She marks some things down, crosses out some lines, and you do the same. It’s lovely, being by her side again. You hadn’t realized just how much you missed her following the events of this summer.
“So, New York University, huh?” Nancy eventually breaks the silence.
You nod, humming as you skim over a line that you particularly like. Circling it, you respond. “Yeah, it’s been my dream school ever since I was young.”
Though you’re applying to other schools as well. A few state schools, some in Virginia, close to your father. But New York is truly where you hope you’ll be next fall.
“Jonathan mentioned that you like psychology, right?”
“Yup,” you cross out an extra word. “Particularly child psychology. Figured that after everything we’ve been through, especially the kids, it’d be useful if at least one of us has any idea what’s going on inside our minds.”
Nancy chuckles. “Fair.”
It falls quiet again, but you don’t want the peace to end. “I heard from Jonathan that you’re looking into Emerson.”
“He tells you everything, doesn’t he?” Though this time Nancy’s question is asked with fondness, slight exasperation and humor mixed in.
“Mhm, we’re a package deal. You tell one of us something, then the other is bound to know eventually.” You look up at Nancy and lightly touch her arm. “Though he still keeps some things from me when it comes to you, don’t worry.”
She laughs again, and finally you allow the silence to settle upon you. It’s a comfortable one. There isn’t a tension underlying it. For the first time in a long time, you’re able to simply sit next to Nancy and feel that she wants you there with her.
After that day, you and Nancy spend almost every lunch period helping each other with your applications.
Steve helps you, too. In his own ways.
While he can’t help you write the essays, he lets you call him at two in the morning to rattle off application ideas so you won’t forget them. He doesn’t complain when you wake him up and he has an early shift the next day. Instead, he listens. Steve offers you his own tired input and indulges in whatever you need to feel that you’ll succeed; he’s the most doting, patient boyfriend you could ever ask for.
And, secretly, Steve adores it. Especially when you call him some nights just to have him come over and hold you.
Those are his favorite nights. Tonight is one of them.
“Why does college exist?” Your cheek is pressed against Steve’s chest as you lay in your bed together. The steady rise and fall of his breathing is melodic.
He plays with a strand of your hair, you feel him shrug. “‘Dunno, but you’re almost done.”
“Yeah, just have one more application to send before I get to spend four agonizing months waiting to find out if I even get in. How fun.” Sarcasm drips from your lips. You’ve spent the last two months obsessing over it all, which words to write in your essays, which clubs to join, which teachers to beg for recommendation letters.
And now you have one application left. Then you’ll be forced to wait, without any control of the inevitable outcome.
You’ve never been someone comfortable with letting go of control.
“Everything will be fine, angel. NYU would be stupid not to let you in.” Steve reassures you with a kiss to your temple, then to your cheek, the tip of your nose, the dip of your brows. As he kisses you, he envisions doing this a year from now, in a small, rundown apartment with sirens wailing outside and a fire escape that creaks in the wind. The song of New York City.
Eventually Steve’s lips will find yours, and the conversation will be long forgotten. It’s how most of your nights end now, lost in the kisses as his breath mixes with yours. Hands will wander. Sighs will leave parted mouths. Quiet, soft, aware of the precariously thin walls.
You haven't slept with Steve, at least not yet. Though you’ve been together a few months now, it still feels too soon. He’s your first boyfriend, your first kiss, your first real love, and Steve doesn’t want to rush you. If all you ever do together is lazily kiss and breathe each other in, then Steve will happily part your lips with his and draw soft sighs out from you.
In the morning you’ll awake with Steve’s lips on your neck, his eyes shining up at you, and in the morning sunlight, before you’ve fully woken up, the air between you is sacred.
–
“I sent in my final application,” you’re whispering, not wanting to wake up your mom who has fallen asleep on the couch. It’s nearly midnight in Indiana, but in California it’s only nine and Jonathan has just finished his school work for the night. “NYU, it’s done.”
On the other end you hear shuffling as Jonathan leans against his kitchen wall. Will sits at the table with El, he sketches the early stages of a painting and she studies grammar. Jonathan watches them, his mom is in bed, and he forgets for a moment that he’s on the phone with you.
“Bee?” You say the childhood name so softly, so tenderly with concern, and it brings Jonathan back to himself.
“I’m here, sorry.” He clears his throat, his head is still slightly muffled. Jonathan met a guy in woodshop this week, his name is Argyle, and somehow during lunch he found himself in the back of the guy’s van with a blunt hanging loosely from his lips. The smoke dulled the ache of missing Nancy, of missing you. Jonathan can’t tell you this, though. You’d kill him, and he hates disappointing you. “What were you saying?”
You frown slightly, he sounds different. There’s something in his voice, it’s raspy and he sounds distant. The sound is lonely, he sounds lonely. Jonathan isn’t really here, despite the fact that he’s talking to you. The last few phone calls have been like this. You don’t know what to do.
When Jonathan left, the two of you promised to call each other every Friday, a compromise. A way to create distance, yet tether you to each other. Jonathan calls you every Friday, Nancy gets him every day the rest of the week, and it works. This is how it’s always been ever since early September.
At first you guys would talk about how your weeks had gone. Jonathan would complain about the California heat and you would tell him about how Mike and Lucas had crashed your date with Steve one night. Laughter would float over the telephone lines. Teasing, whispered “I miss you’s” and spoken goodbyes with the promise of talking again next week.
But last week when you called, the teasing was gone. The laughter was minimal. You had complained about an exam that day and Jonathan had given one word responses that had worried you. It had been odd, but you thought that maybe he’d been tired that day. Everyone has a bad day, you know this.
Yet it’s Friday again and Jonathan couldn’t feel farther away from you.
“I mailed my NYU application in, bee. You send in yours yet?” Voice light, cheery. You do what you can to try and keep him afloat. You try to grasp at the good that’s left between you. Remind Jonathan that you’re right here, still with him, without scaring him away. “You remember our plan, right? Me and you in New York, together.”
Since you were kids the plan has always been to go to college together. Back then, neither of you could fathom a reason to ever be apart. You were invincible, the same way all kids think they are before the world tells them otherwise.
But you and Jonathan aren’t invincible, you never were.
You can hear the way your question suffocates him. The breath that he holds, stilted and torn, suffocates you as well.
Nausea punches Jonathan, the smoke from earlier suddenly fogs his throat. He doesn’t know what to do. Nancy wants him to go to Emerson with her, he promised you NYU when he was twelve, and California has his mother and Will.
“Yeah, yeah. I–I mean, I sent mine in. Last week.”
Jonathan is lying. You’ve known him for almost six years; he always stumbles over his words when he lies.
Part of you wants to ask him why he’s doing this, lying to you and pulling away. Another part of you, the larger, more naive part, doesn’t want to believe it. You clear your throat, swallow down the hurt, and choose naivety. “Oh,” your tone is too pinched, too put together. You clear your throat again. “That’s–that’s great! I, um. Surprised you didn’t read the essays to me. Have me edit them, like we’ve always done.”
Jonathan leans his head against the wall and squeezes his eyes shut. He’s never been able to lie to you, he knows you’re desperately trying to overcompensate, as you always do. He hates it. He hates himself. “Yeah, well. Got excited, I guess.”
You hum, words failing you, and the line goes silent.
Dread replaces the laughter that night.
–
Before you know it, it’s Halloween and the party has infiltrated Steve’s house.
The holiday falls on a Saturday, and the party deems itself too old to trick or treat. When they find out that Steve’s parents won’t be home that weekend, they demand to spend the night at his house and watch horror movies.
Steve fights back, complains that he doesn’t want them taking over his living room, but his complaints fall on deaf ears. That, and Dustin ropes Robin into their plans.
“Oh, God. Don’t open the door!” Dustin shrieks, throwing popcorn at Steve’s TV as he covers his eyes with a blanket. He cowers against Lucas, who shoves him off, and Mike snickers. Max sits on the couch, outside of their fort, and watches the boys. None of them try to get her to sit with them. They know they’re lucky that she even showed in the first place.
“I can’t look.” Robin’s voice carries over, you can almost picture her cringing as she holds a pillow to her chest. Mike chose a particularly gory movie, and the kid’s mind frightens her.
A loud crash sounds, then a woman screams. You figure the protagonist did open the door and has now died, though you can’t be sure. You’re in the kitchen with Steve, taking out the final batch of oatmeal raisin cookies from the oven. The smell wafts through the home, bringing warmth to a house that Steve has always found cold, and he places his hands on your hips.
“You spoil the kids too much,” he presses his nose against your cheek and kisses you. “They invade my home and you bake them delicious goods.”
You set the tray of cookies down onto the counter. “As if the cookies aren’t for you, too.”
“That isn’t important. We’re focusing on my hostage house, Y/N.”
“‘Hostage house’, quite the alliteration there.”
Steve now kisses your neck, distracting you as you plate the cookies. “I love it when you talk dirty to me.”
“Don’t make me come in there!” Dustin screams, and Robin echoes him with her own disgusted yelling.
You laugh at their theatrics while Steve rolls his eyes. He really hates that his house has become the party’s source of entertainment. He just wants to compliment his beautiful girlfriend in peace. Who would punish a guy for that?
In his moping Steve almost misses you walking back into the living room. He follows, stumbles over his feet, never wanting to be more than a few inches away from you. You’re magnetic, always pulling him in.
Mike is the first to grab a handful of cookies. Lucas and Dustin follow quickly after. They shove the food into their mouths and you scoff at their lack of manners. They’re such boys, growing taller every day, and they’re just as disgusting as they were when they were kids.
“Want one, Max?” You hold the plate up to her, noticing that she hasn’t moved from her seat. She shakes her head at you, eyes never leaving the screen. Lucas and you share a look, the same concerned expression on your faces.
The moment is broken by Robin, who grabs a cookie and practically melts. “Holy shit, Y/N. You bake these regularly?”
“Usually once a week,” you shrug at her. “Though I once baked six batches during finals week.”
“God, that was a good week.” Dustin hums, lost in the blissful memory.
Robin grabs your arm, eyes wide with enthusiasm. “I will give you my firstborn child in exchange for my own batch of cookies.”
Steve pokes her shoulder. “You already promised your firstborn to me after I agreed to cover your weekend shift.”
“I can have twins.”
You laugh at her. “That’s a terrifying thought.”
Robin sticks her tongue out at you, causing you to laugh even more, and Mike puts the next movie on. Everyone settles back down, you lay with Steve in the lovechair with Robin in front of you. Max has the couch to herself, the boys are sprawled on the floor in a mess of pillows and blankets, and for the first time in months you feel a certain warmth having your family together.
Sometime during the night the clock strikes twelve.
It’s November 1st, 1985.
Steve’s nineteenth birthday.
Robin snores softly on the ground, arm underneath her head as a makeshift pillow. Mike, Dustin, and Lucas are all curled up against one another, their faces young again. Max sleeps softly on the couch, her hand dangles over the edge, grazing Lucas’ outstretched arm and open palm.
Steve lays beneath you, he isn’t quite asleep yet. You’ve come to learn the rhythm of his breaths as he sleeps. The way they slow, the pattern steady. You lift your head up, wanting to admire him, and find that he’s already looking at you.
“Hi, angel.” He whispers, smiling sweetly.
You smile back, you always smile back at him. “Hi, honey.” Doing your best to remain quiet, you crawl up the length of Steve and nuzzle your way into his neck. You kiss the dip just above his collarbone, causing him to shiver. “Happy birthday.”
Arms encase you, pull you deeper into the body you lay on. Steve’s body heat warms your face, warms your bones, and you wish you could stay like this forever. In Steve’s arms, the scent of him overwhelming your mind, his touch calming you.
“Thank you,” he kisses the top of your head. He lingers, his lips soft. The two of you stay like this, his head against yours, your chin tucked into the alcove of his neck. Your breathing syncs with his, his fingers trail up and down your spine. Your fingers splay over his chest, warming his ribs.
In the morning, Max wakes everyone up.
“My mom will be worried,” she kicks Mike, nudges Lucas’ shoulder. “Wake up, idiots.”
Steve groans, squinting his eyes against the morning light. He tries to roll over and block it out and nearly shoves you off the seat in the process. “Steve!” He manages to catch you in his sleepy state, but his movements are slow.
“Sorry!”
You clutch your chest, heart pounding. “You’ve done that way too many times now. I’m starting to think you want to throw me onto the ground.”
“Lucas once promised he could catch me if I jumped into his arms.” Max says, then she points to a scar on her knee. “Turned out he couldn’t.”
“Hey!” Lucas sits up, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “I really thought I could do it.”
Mike stretches. “Your fault for trusting him, Max.”
Lucas shoves him and the two start to wrestle on the floor. They’re a tangle of lanky limbs, knocking into Dustin who still hasn’t woken up yet. They roll on top of the boy, and he wakes up to Lucas’ knee in his face. “What the hell?”
Dustin joins the fighting now, and Robin throws a pillow at them. “Guys! It’s too early for this!”
They don’t listen.
It takes a lot of pleading, negotiating, and bribes in order to break the fight up. It takes even longer to wrangle the kids out of Steve’s home, much to his dismay. They leave a mess of strewn popcorn all over the carpet and pillows missing feathers. You stay behind, offering to help clean the mess, and Robin rushes out an apology and happy birthday to Steve as she runs out the door to get to work.
Soon it’s just you and Steve. You work around one another, anticipating each other’s next move, never getting in the way. Soft music plays from the record player that sits in the den. Steve puts on one of his father’s old records, gentle rock and delicate jazz. You hum to yourself, he hums with you, and it’s a peaceful morning.
Until Richard and May Harrington walk in.
Neither of you notice them at first. Steve is too busy spinning you around, playfully dipping you as the music comes to a grand crescendo. You’re laughing breathlessly, but soon your laughter turns into a yelp when Steve sees his parents standing in the doorway and drops you.
“Dad!” Steve immediately bends down to pick you up, endlessly apologetic. He ducks his head, eyes on you, though his body doesn’t turn from his father. “I’m sorry, angel. You alright?”
You reassure your boyfriend that you’re fine, more worried about the fact that you’re dressed in clothes from yesterday with horrendous bedhead meeting his parents for the first time. Richard eyes you in Steve’s arms. He has a look of disinterest on his face. “Son.”
“What, uh.” Steve clears his throat, curls a protective arm around your waist. He didn’t mean for this to happen. His parents were supposed to be gone until Tuesday. “What are you doing here?”
“I live here.”
“Right.”
Father and son stand in front of one another. Neither speaks. Steve feels like a little boy again, scrutinized underneath his father’s intense gaze. Never good enough. Never worthy of anything other than berating and lectures.
You wring your hands nervously, unsure what to do. The air is thick. Steve looks so much like his father, it’s almost uncanny. They have the same build, the same moles that dot along their handsome faces. Only his father is dressed in a suit, the lines in his face are hard, weathered. He’s who you picture Steve would’ve been, in a different universe where you were never his friend.
May Harrington gave her son all of her delicate features. The soft turn of his nose. The plush, pink lips. His doe eyes, his smile. The only feature that separates her from her son is her honey blonde hair. She’s beautiful, elegant and poised, and when she steps towards you, you can smell lavender perfume. “You must be Y/N. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Hi, Mrs. Harrington.” You’re quick to meet her where she stands. You’re nervous, you have to discreetly wipe your hand on your pants before shaking hers. “It’s so wonderful to finally meet you. Your banana bread is lovely.”
The woman smiles, it’s so much like Steve’s that you want to cry. “Thank you, dear.”
“Of course, and I apologize for meeting like this. I didn’t mean to intrude.”
Richard makes a mean, gruff sound. He shakes his head, steps next to his wife. He doesn’t like you, you can feel it by the way he blocks his wife’s view of you. “Oh, no. I’m sure you didn’t.”
“Dad–” Steve steps forward as well, blocking his father’s view of you. He’s angry, his shoulder blades close together. He doesn’t like how the man is treating you; you’re too good for such cruelty.
“What did I tell you about bringing your hookups to the house, son?” Richard sneers, turning his nose up at you. That’s all he sees you as. Just another one of Steve’s flings, one of the girls from his past.
“Y/N is not just some hookup,” Steve clenches his jaw, tries to steady his breathing. He doesn’t want to fight with his dad in front of you. Not when he was having such a good morning, spending his birthday with your hands wrapped around his neck and your giggles singing in his ears. “She’s my girlfriend, and I love her.”
Richard chuckles, he doesn’t believe his son. “Okay, you love her. I’m sure your mother and I will walk in on you with some new girl next week.”
“Dear,” May places a hand on her husband’s shoulder. She sees the way you shrink into yourself at the man’s words. The insecurity that he brings. She sees how her son’s eyes ignite with fury, she watches as he does whatever he can to put the flame out for her sake and your’s. “It’s Steve’s birthday today.”
“Is that why you insisted on coming home today?” Richard turns to her, she has his full attention now. His eyebrows are drawn together, annoyance paints his body. “You told me you had a board meeting tonight.”
“Why don’t we talk about this upstairs?” May suggests, relieved that she’s turned her husband’s anger onto herself rather than her son. Richard sighs, but he doesn’t argue as he marches up the stairs without so much as a second glance towards you. When he’s gone, May smiles at you sympathetically. “I apologize for my husband’s behavior. We had a long flight, I’m sure he’s simply jetlagged.”
“Yeah, that’s why he’s such an asshole.” Steve scoffs, tired of his mother’s excuses for her husband. He can be cruel to Steve, he doesn’t care. He’s been cruel to him his entire life. But if his father so much as breathes near you again, Steve will hurt him.
Your hand reaches for Steve’s, sensing what he’s thinking. You return May’s smile, you’re not at all angry with her. “It’s okay, really. I was an unexpected guest, and I should go.”
Steve pulls you into his chest. “What, no–”
“You may leave, if you’d like.” His mother gently interrupts him. “Though I must admit, I really do wish to know you better. If you’d allow me to, that is.”
“I’d love that more than anything.”
“Then I will plan a dinner for the next time my husband and I are in town.” May tells you, admiring your honesty. She can see why Steve has become so infatuated with you. There’s nothing hidden within you; you wear your heart on your sleeve, your sincerity a welcomed rarity. She turns to her son, rests her palm delicately against his face. “Happy birthday, my beautiful boy.”
Steve leans into her touch, weak for his mother as any son is. You turn away, it doesn’t feel right to watch this moment between them.
In the car Steve profusely apologizes for his father’s behavior. Over and over again, he laments how sorry he is and that you’re more than just some fling to him. “You’re everything to me, angel. I love you so, so much.”
“I know, honey.” You grab his hand that rests against the stick shift. His father’s words had hurt, but you knew that they weren’t true. Steve is your’s, he has been for longer than either of you realize. Nothing will ever undo the love he has for you, the foundation of trust it was built upon. “You’re everything to me, too.”
When Steve pulls into your driveway, you tell him to park and come inside. His birthday gift is in your room. You had planned to give it to him later tonight, but his parents’ unexpected arrival had soured things. “I know you have to go home, but…”
“I’ll never say no to you.” Steve’s already unbuckling his seatbelt to follow you inside. He greets your mother with a kiss to her cheek, ruffles Dustin’s hair as he sits at the dining table doing homework. His movements are easy, leisurely. You notice now how at home he is in yours, far from the boy who cowered before his father only twenty minutes ago. The realization is bittersweet. He deserves to feel at home in his own house, not just yours.
Inside your room Steve sits on your bed and holds his hand out, eager. “Okay, wow me, Henderson.”
“You really know how to talk to a woman.” You tease him, rustling through your drawer to find the gift you’ve hidden. Steve is nosy, he’s been trying to find his gift for at least two weeks now. When you’ve found it, you clutch the gift in your hand and hold it behind your back. “Alright, you know the drill by now. Close your eyes.”
Steve complies with a smirk, biting back suggestive comments. He loves this tradition with you, making the other close their eyes before their gift. Something light is placed in Steve’s hand. It’s circular, sturdy. He thinks he can smell leather.
“Okay, open.”
In his hand is a bracelet. It’s a simple strip of leather, nothing embellishes it besides a button to secure it. Though it’s plain, Steve can tell that it’s expensive. The leather is supple, its color is dark and polished. The silver button that clasps the two ends together is heavy.
He loves it, he does, but he can’t help feeling like that there must be something more to it.
As if reading his mind, you gently prompt Steve to turn it over in his hands. “Look what’s on the inside, honey.”
He does, and his heart stops.
The leather has been stamped. The word constants is spelled out across the length of the band. It’s a hidden message, only for Steve to know, and while he’s sure you have your own explanation for why you chose the word constants, he loves it already. “Oh.”
You sit next to him and laugh softly. “You’re my constant, Steve. Everything in my life has changed, or will change, but you… You’ve always been there, I know you’ll always be there. With me. My love, my lucky charm, my constant.”
Tears well in Steve’s eyes. He doesn’t bother wiping them away, too busy admiring the bracelet in his hand. He can’t believe you’re real, that you’ve thought of this for him. That you see a future with him… It’s everything he could’ve asked for. A security he’s always longed to have. His entire life he’s been told he’s too much, too overwhelming, and yet you want him to stay anyways.
“And you’re my constant?” He asks you, fingers grazing over the letters again.
You nudge his shoulder with yours. “Well, I’d like to think that I am.”
He laughs, wet and full of love, and he can’t take it anymore. Steve throws his arms over you and you collapse into your bed, laughing together as he presses his lips wherever they can reach.
“You are,” he says in between kisses. Your laughter lights him. “You’re my constant, too.”
–
The autumn leaves fall and the trees are barren as winter arrives.
You spend winter break trying to maintain your promise to Joyce. After finishing the hell that was applying to college, you have so much unexpected free time that at first you don't know what to do. But then her words echo in your mind, the promise to live the life that you deserve, so you start doing things for yourself.
Slowly you read through all the books in your room that you hadn't had time for before. You start running again in the mornings, the winter air crisp in your lungs. You and Dustin do homework together at the kitchen table, making sure neither of you get left behind. You try new recipes to bake, delivering the treats to the ones you love. It’s nice, rediscovering the pleasures you once had long before the Upside Down came into your life.
Christmas comes and you do your annual rounds, delivering everyone’s favorite treats on Christmas Eve. It’s during your run to the Sinclair home that Lucas asks you to come inside to talk.
“What’s up?” You ask him, unwrapping your scarf and warming your hands in your sleeves. Lucas gestures to his kitchen table, silently asking you to sit. When you do, he takes a deep breath and joins you.
Something’s bothering him. You can see it in the way he carries a weight on his shoulders. How they droop as he sits, exhausted. You reach across the table and grab his hand, offering whatever comfort you can give him. “Whatever it is, you can talk to me.”
“It’s…” Lucas purses his lips, his breath shakes. “It’s Max. I’m–I’m worried about her.”
He tells you everything. He tells you how distant she’s been, more than she’s ever been before. He tells you how she’s missed dates he’s planned for her, how she refuses to talk to him anymore. She hasn’t been to any of the party’s hangouts, Mike and Dustin haven’t seen her ever since winter break started.
Max has had bad days, weeks, even months since losing Billy. But she’s never had the bad days without at least one good day following. To break the monotonous cycle of self-loathing and grief and guilt. She would always come back, even if for a moment, alive and bright and reminiscent of the girl had been.
“I can feel her slipping away,” Lucas looks down at the table. He’s afraid that if he looks at you then he’ll start crying. He doesn’t want you to worry, he knows how much you already deal with and do for them, but he’s terrified. “I know… I know that you helped Will, after he was flayed. Do you think you could maybe talk to Max? Just… Remind her that we’re here for her? I can’t–I can’t lose her.”
“Hey, it’s okay,” you squeeze his hand in yours, trying to stem the stream of tears he fought so hard to force down. Lucas loves Max with everything within him. Anyone can see that. You’d do anything to bring the girl back to him, to bring her back to all of you. “I’ll talk to her.”
I’ll keep an eye on her. Watch her when you can’t.
Lucas hears it. He exhales, nods his head.
You leave. Max was the next one on your list of deliveries anyways.
It’s nearing dusk by the time you get to the trailer park. You haven’t seen Max’s new home, she’s only recently moved. She had been too embarrassed to tell anyone that her mother lost their old house. The only reason you even know she moved in the first place is because Lucas and Dustin stalked her walking home.
A dog barks as you bike past. Snow has started to fall, tomorrow will be a white Christmas.
“Oh, hello, Y/N.” Susan Hargrove’s skin is pale, her eyes sunken in when she answers the door. Her voice is thin, her frame is strained. The death has been hard on her, too. Billy’s father leaving only made everything worse.
“Hi, Mrs. Hargrove.”
The woman winces. “Please, Mayfield will be fine.”
You immediately correct yourself, apologetic and ashamed, when Max’s voice calls from within the home. “Just let Y/N in, mom.”
Susan sighs, and you wish you could do more. Instead, all you can offer her is the container of coconut bites you’ve made for them. Max told you they remind her and her mother of California, and you always make sure to have some ready every week for them. Offer some semblance of joy in the gray of their lives.
Max sits at the kitchen table. Her head is down as she works on something. She has her walkman next to her. Susan leaves the two of you alone, excusing herself to go lay down after a long shift.
You sit next to the girl and take a deep breath. This won’t be easy. Max is prideful, stubbornly independent, and has never accepted sympathy from anyone. You’ve always admired her fiery personality, but the fire has dimmed and the smoke is beginning to choke her. Talking to her will be like pulling teeth out.
“Brought you your favorites.” You shake the container in your hands. It serves as a peace offering, almost a bribe to start the conversation.
“Thanks.” Max doesn’t look up.
You swallow, tuck your hair behind your ears. “Of course. I was doing my usual delivery rounds. I, uh. Stopped at the Sinclair’s.”
The pencil in Max’s hand freezes. Her knuckles tighten, though the shift is subtle. She’s always been too smart for her own good. “Oh.”
“Yeah. Erica likes my brownies. Mrs. Sinclair, too.”
“And Lucas?” She knows why you’re here.
“I made him chocolate chip cookies. You know how much he loves them.” Max doesn’t respond. Of course she knows how much Lucas enjoys chocolate chip cookies. She knows everything about him, but she doesn’t say anything and goes back to writing. Faintly you hear music coming from the walkman. You point at the device. “New song?”
“Kate Bush.”
“Oh.” This is going worse than you imagined. “Look, Max–”
She doesn’t waste any time. “I know Lucas sent you. I don’t care.”
“He’s just worried about you, we all are–”
“I’m fine.” The tip of the pencil snaps. “Shit.”
“Max.” You’re pleading with her to listen. Her skin is fluorescent now, paler than you’ve ever seen. The bags underneath her eyes are swollen, dark and ghostly. She’s lost weight. You can’t remember the last time you saw her eat. “Please.”
“What do you want me to do?” Though there’s anger in her voice, Max’s eyes plead with you, too. Her mask slips for just a moment, but you see it. Underneath her indifferent exterior, she’s just as terrified as everyone else is. She can feel herself fading, the guilt of Billy’s death slowly eats her alive. She doesn’t know what to do, though. How do you continue to live after death has infiltrated your home?
The chair beneath you scraps against the hardwood floor. You stand up, walk over to Max and kneel in front of her. You keep your movements slow, worried you’ll scare her away if you get too close too suddenly. “I think you should talk to someone, honey.”
Max turns away. She can’t. If she told anyone what goes on inside her head, they would never forgive her. You would never forgive her, and it would break her.
Your hand falls to Max’s knee. The warmth from your palm combats the ice in her veins. You’re looking at her as if she’s worth something. As if she didn’t wish for her brother’s death. As if she hadn’t sent a grieving father into a spiral, a desperate mother into a trailer park. But Max allows your touch, so you try to get through to her again.
“You know, I was actually talking to Ms. Kelly a few weeks ago. The school’s guidance counselor.” She had met with you to discuss your grades and college options. When she had seen how you picked your nails until they bled, she suggested seeing her every few weeks. Alleviate some of your never ending stress. You had denied, uncomfortable with the idea. But maybe she could help Max. “She seemed nice enough. I’m sure she would be open to talking with you.”
“I don’t want to see some shrink.”
“Hey, I want to work with kids your age someday. Don’t call future me a shrink.” You poke Max’s leg playfully, and the corners of her mouth twitch. She doesn’t want you to see that it’s working. “C’mon. Have at least one meeting with her. When winter break ends, all I ask is that you try. For me and Lucas. We’re your favorites, after all.”
“If I agree, will it get you to shut up?”
You’re fine with this. It isn’t ideal, you aren’t sure Max will even actually try to open up to Ms. Kelly, but it’s a start. For too long now you’ve stayed silent, allowing Max to grieve on her own. Grief is hard, it takes and it takes and it takes. Yet it’s been almost six months and you’re not sure how much left grief can take from Max. “I think I can be okay with that.”
You’ll take whatever you can get. You’re worried. You got too caught up in your own life, you had gotten lost in your own haze of grief and anxiety. Missing Jonathan, grappling with change and growing up as you applied to college. You weren’t there for Max like you should’ve been.
But you’ll fix this. You always fix things. It’s what you do. It’s what you have to do. It’s how you love; you take care of those around you.
And who are you if you can’t?
–
Jonathan calls you high for the first time in late January.
Though he doesn’t tell you that he’s high, you know. His words are slurred, slowed, incomprehensible. It’s late in California, even later in Indiana, and the stark feeling of guilt slices into your ribcage the same way the Demodog’s claw did. The feeling cuts deep into your skin, nicks your bone.
“Jonathan?” You hope your voice brings him back to you. You try to cut through the smoke that fills his mind, that leaves him stumbling over his words. “Bee, can you hear me?”
“‘M here.” Jonathan sniffs, smacks his lips, yawns. “Where’re you? Can’t find you, bug.”
You close your eyes. He’s looking for you, and you aren’t with him. “I’m in Hawkins.”
“Thas’ far.”
“Yeah,” you choke out a laugh. It constricts in your vocal chords, but you can’t let Jonathan know how much it hurts to hear him so disoriented. “I’m sorry.”
“S’okay. California sucks.” He hiccups, you’re surprised he’s managed to call you tonight. Even in his drugged up state, he still somehow remembered to call. “Don’t think Nance will like it.”
He’s referring to the spring break trip. Nancy told you about it earlier today, how she and Mike will spend the week in California to see Jonathan and El. She had been a bit hesitant to tell you, afraid you’d be upset for not being invited, but you reassured her that it was okay.
You’ve had a road trip planned with Jonathan ever since you were fifteen. The moment the two of you graduate, you’ll drive all across the country for one final adventure before college.
Nancy can have spring. Summer will be yours.
“She’ll love California because you’re there.” She talked about the trip nonstop today. Her glow had come back, momentarily, her eyes alight. She truly loves Jonathan, she misses him even more than you do.
“Only disappoint her.”
“What do you mean?” You’re not sure where this is coming from. You know Jonathan is high, that his thoughts may not be coherent, but he sounds distressed about Nancy. You thought things had been good between them. They were planning a future together.
“Is’ hard, with her.” Jonathan manages to get out, but his speech is becoming harder and harder to understand.
You frown. “What’s hard, bee?”
The line disconnects. Jonathan doesn’t bring the conversation up again, the next time you call. You don’t ask him what he meant. You don’t think you want to know. There had been something deeper behind his words.
Will calls you a few days later in tears. The kids are meaner in California than they are in Hawkins. They tease El, make her life hell, and he’s upset that he can’t do anything to stop it. He cries to you, his tears soak your face through the landline, and the guilt creeps back in.
It will never truly leave.
You do your best to console him, offer him advice, but that’s all you can do. All you have are your words. Will and El are hours away, hundreds of miles separate them from you. It's nauseating, feeling so useless. For as long as you’ve known Will, you’ve always been able to protect him. To help him, dry his eyes.
You’ve always been there for your boys, for Jonathan and Will. For El. But you can’t get to them, they’re too far away, and it kills you. You’re sixteen again, trapped in Jonathan’s car and frantically trying to keep yourself together as everything around you falls apart.
Steve becomes your lifeline.
He always answers when you call. Every time Jonathan, high and lonely, hangs up your conversations, you call Steve. He answers, he hears the exhaustion in your voice, and he always sneaks in through your window later that night. He knows it’s the only way you’re able to sleep these days.
He sings to you when you wake up from a nightmare. They’ve become about Max, losing her. She’s only met with Ms. Kelly a few times, but you can tell that she already wants to stop. That you’re pushing her too far, pushing her away from you and everyone else.
Steve takes you for drives when you get blisters from pacing your room, anxiously waiting for your college decision letters to come in. Soon your entire life will be decided for you by one single piece of paper.
Two weeks before spring break, Jonathan calls you. He’s sober.
You can’t remember the last time you’ve spoken to him sober. The thought alone depresses you, makes you yearn for childhood again.
“I think Nancy wants me to come to Hawkins,” he tells you. “Would you… would you like that?”
More than anything.
You press the phone against your ear and imagine that it’s Jonathan’s hand instead. Your skin hasn’t forgotten how his felt against it. “Of course I want you to come to Hawkins, bee.” But it can’t be that easy, you know nothing ever comes easily. “Can you afford it, though? I–I mean, God. I miss you, you know that, but I know it’s been hard for your family these last few years.”
Jonathan’s head falls back against the wall behind him. You always understand. He hates it, sometimes. “It’s worth looking into if it means I get to see you and Nance.”
There’s an air of authority in Jonathan’s voice, as if he truly believes what he’s saying, and it surprises you. He’s taking initiative after months of floating away. Hope sparks within you, the cold hand of dread lessens its grip around your neck.
“Well, I can’t argue with that logic.” You say. Jonathan laughs, you’ve missed the sound. It’s been so long since you last heard it.
Conversation drifts after that. You tell him about the latest Spider-Man arc you’re reading, he inserts his own opinions, and it’s lovely. You haven’t had Jonathan like this in months, all to yourself, his smile aligned with yours. Sober, steady.
The phone call with Jonathan reminds you of all the good that is still yet to come.
College decision letters arrive next week. Your best friend might be visiting for spring break. Your boyfriend has planned a picnic for your anniversary tomorrow. You have your first meeting with Ms. Kelly the following day. It was your idea, figuring it was only fair that you see her since Max has agreed to keep going.
And Joyce made you promise that you’d live your own life. You’re trying to get better, you really are.
It just takes time.
-
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#steve harrington x henderson!reader#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#stranger things#steve harrington fanfic#stranger things rewrite#slowburn#angst#nya#m's writing#im so scared for season 4 bro#also less steve centered chapter i apologize class
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met him last night | ksj (m) pt. 2
➥ PAIRING: seokjin x fem!reader
➥ SUMMARY: You’ve worked in the office with Kim Seokjin for quite some time but you never really pay attention to him. He’s basically your stereotypical introverted nerd with complimentary glasses decorating his eyes and sweater vests clinging to his torso. Coincidentally, you bump into him outside of work. You’re in for the shock of your life when you find some stuff out about him.
➥ GENRE: smut ⋆ plot twist ⋆ porn with plot
➥ CATEGORY: two-shot
➥ WARNINGS: explicit sexual content, bigdick!seokjin is real, protected sex, couch sex, praise kink, oral sex (rec m & f), face fucking, fingerfucking, cumshot on tits, cumshot on ass, little plottwist, doggy style, pinning arms back, cocky!seokjin, denied orgasm, missionary, minors DNI
➥ WORDCOUNT: 6.5k
a/n: ughhh i can’t believe its finally done! part 2 (and final part) to mhln !!! not betaread or anything so ignore any mistakes plsss hope u like it <3333 tell me ur thoughts <3
⋆ TAGLIST ⋆
⇠ PREV. ⋆ MASTERLIST ⋆ NEXT ⇢
You quickly straighten your back up, trying to hide your nerves with your eyes still glued to him, intently watching as he makes his way over to you. You lean back into your sofa, glancing up at him as he places his knee next to your thigh and his hand next to your head against the backrest of your sofa.
His other hand moves forward to tilt your chin up, his thumb gently caressing your jaw. “It’s a shame, truly,” he mumbles as he uses his thumb to start wiping off whatever is left of your lipgloss, bringing his gloss-covered thumb to his lips to lick it clean.
Your brows pinch together at his words. You swallow, an attempt at drowning out your nerves before asking, “What is?”
Silence settles around you for a few seconds before he decides to speak again.
“That I’ll ruin your pretty makeup.”
Those are the last words that leave his mouth before he hunches over you and presses his plump lips to yours. The finger that was previously on your chin travels down your jaw to your neck, gently wrapping his hand around your throat to pull your face closer to his.
You’re just about to return the kiss when he abruptly pulls back, face still a centimeter away from yours as he glances down at your lips. “You’re gorgeous,” he mumbles before plopping down on the couch next to you and tugs you to him by your waist, motioning for you to sit on his lap.
It’s almost embarrassing how quickly you hike your skirt up to lunge at him, throwing your thigh over his and climbing onto his lap. He sinks further into your couch and shifts his gaze up to your face, plump bottom lip trapped between his teeth as his hands tightly grip onto your hips.
He lets your hands roam his chest, letting you feel every dip and muscle as you look down at him through hooded eyelids, hands moving up to cup his face. Your face closes in on his, your lips softly pressing against his pillowy ones in a heated kiss.
His hands tighten their grip on your hips, fingers sinking into the fabric of your skirt which makes you yelp against his mouth. It gives him the chance to lick into your mouth and he does.
He tastes like tomato sauce and basil.
You wrap your arms around his neck in an attempt to pull him even closer, your breasts pressed flat into his chest.
His hands slide down the sides of your thighs, giving them a soft squeeze. His tongue dances around yours, head tilting to the side to close whatever distance was still in between you two.
Your hips involuntarily jolt and grind into his groin, a soft moan sliding up the back of your throat at the friction. A low grunt rumbles in his chest, his own hips bucking up into your core, returning the favor.
His erection hardens under your sex and your mouth salivates at the thought of his massive dick, you want to taste him. You want to taste him real bad.
You pull away from his lips with a deep inhale and say, “Fuck, I want to suck you off.”
His eyes shift up to stare into yours, an unreadable expression on his features. You can’t help but glance down at his swollen lips as you await his response, trying to ignore the uncomfortable feeling of your panties sticking to your sex.
“Not beating around the bush anymore, hm?” A cocky grin tugs at the corners of his lips as he sinks even further into your couch, adjusting his hips in his seat to help you slide off his lap.
You get onto your knees in front of him, the cold tiles sending a shiver up your spine. You slowly travel your hands up his leg, softly squeezing his soft skin when your hands arrive at his thighs.
“Pull me out.”
The words leave his mouth filled with so much arrogance that you can’t help but reach for his belt straight away, unbuckling it with a quickness. Your eyes travel up his figure, glancing up at him through your pretty lashes but he’s already staring back at you, hand reaching up and resting on top of your head.
He lifts his hips off the couch to help you slide his pants down and he instantly palms himself through his boxers, his other hand moving down your face to tilt your chin up. “You’re so pretty.”
Your teeth sink into your bottom lip at his compliment, creating a tightness in your stomach and a squeeze in your core, pussy clenching around absolutely nothing.
You tuck your fingers under the hem of his boxers and slowly tug them down, watching in anticipation as his dick springs free from under the hem.
What the fuck?
Your eyes widen as you stare at his erection, it’s still hardening and it’s already bigger than any dick you’ve ever seen before. Big veins trail down his dark shaft, the head of his dick begging for attention.
A chuckle makes his chest rumble when he sees your reaction. His hand wraps around the base of his shaft, causing him to hiss at the touch, a soft grunt pushing past his lips. Your eyes shift to the precum leaking from his tip and you almost drool all over his slacks.
“How the fuck is that supposed to fit literally anywhere?” you grumble, eyes glancing up at him for the first time since seeing his dick and he’s just got a smug smirk sitting on his gorgeous lips.
“You can take it,” he quips, “can’t you?”
Oh.
Well, now you want to do just that.
He places his other hand on your cranium as he moves the tip of his dick across your lips, smearing them full of his precum. You continue to stare at him, never once breaking eye contact, giving him the best doe-eyes you can muster.
“Just tap me twice if it becomes too much,” he adds, a sincere look in his eyes. You nod to his words, placing your hands on his thighs as you mentally prepare yourself to have destroyed vocal cords tomorrow morning.
“Now, stop looking at me with those innocent eyes and open up that pretty mouth like a good girl.”
You don’t hesitate for a second after hearing his words, parting your lips to take him into your mouth almost immediately after. You lower your head, wrapping your lips around the head and you gently start sucking on it. The hiss leaving his mouth tells you that he enjoys that, making you push your tongue flat against his slit and swirl it around to collect his salty precum on your tastebuds.
His hand tenses on top of your head and his hips unexpectedly buck up, making you gag. You keep his dick in your mouth but glare up at him, just in time to see him give you a sheepish, apologetic smile. You grunt as you lower your head again, your saliva rolling down his shaft as you try to take as much as you can of him into your mouth.
“Holy shit,” whispers Seokjin, hand delicately stroking your hair.
You grab onto the base of his dick with both hands and let your saliva roll down your fingers to lube them up enough to pump the part you can’t reach. You begin to take more of him into your mouth but you haven’t even made it halfway down before the head of his dick hits the back of your throat, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.
“Fuck, you look so pretty like this,” he moans, his head rolling back onto the backrest of your coach, his chest dramatically rising and falling as he chases his breath.
You hum in response, watching how his hips are tensing and twitching, trying not to thrust up into your mouth. You slowly pull him out, a string of your saliva still connecting to his dick as you continue to jack him off. “I’ll let you fuck my mouth but if I tap twice, you have to stop, okay?”
His eyes shoot open at the offer and he whispers a low swear word before he nods and gets up onto his feet. He slings his suit jacket off, throwing it somewhere on your couch as you get onto your feet, hiking your skirt up so you can bend at the knees and squat in front of him since your knees were already starting to hurt.
He moves to stand in between your spread thighs, hands making their way back to your head as he slowly guides his dick back into your mouth. You move your hands up his bare legs, digging your nails into his warm skin as he starts thrusting into your warm, wet mouth.
You try to blink back your tears but it doesn’t help, every small thrust hits the back of your throat and you’re seconds away from suffocating. The tears start spilling out of your eyes but you refuse to stop him, the way he’s thrusting into your mouth with his head thrown back and soft moans leaving his lips is making you want to keep going, be the reason for his pleasure.
“Fuck, can I cum on your tits?” he asks in between moans, his thrusts getting even rougher. You finally tap his thigh twice and he immediately slides out of your mouth, reaching for your chin to make you tilt your head up at him. He scans your face with a concern frown but you simply slap his hand away.
Your hand reaches up as you start unbuttoning your silk shirt, successfully taking it off, tossing it aside and unclasping your bra all in a few seconds.
He doesn’t have to fucking ask twice.
He grunts, fingers coming back to hold your chin in place to look at him. Your makeup has undoubtedly smudged all over your face but you don’t care, not when Seokjin is looking at you as if you’re the most beautiful being he has ever laid his eyes upon.
He continues to pump himself with his other habd, chasing his own release. You slowly move back toward the couch, sprawling yourself out on the edge of the couch’s cushions and pulling Seokjin forwards to stand in between your spread thighs. You lean your upper back against the couch, allowing gravity to work for you as you reach up to his dick and take it from him, aiming the tip at your chest.
Your eyes travel up to meet his gaze as you start pumping him, watching as he stares you down with such overwhelming lust that it’s got your useless panties no longer acting as a barrier because you’re pretty sure you’ve started leaking through the fabric.
“Fuck,” he pauses after a deep inhale, “you’re so fucking pretty.”
An involuntary moan escapes your lips at the praise but your hands keep going, wanting nothing more than for him to cum all over your breasts.
“You’re pretty too,” you say with a sheepish smile, still looking up at him with your pretty eyes.
“I know,” he moans and the sight makes you giggle. At least he’s funny.
His dick twitches in your hand and before you know it, white ropes of his warm cum start coating your chest and nipples. He moans several swear words as he cums all over your breasts, his eyes taking in the sight and committing it to memory.
You’re upper body is sprawled on the couch cushions, tits covered in saliva and cum, makeup running down your face, hair fucked up.
You blink up at him with hooded eyes as your hands finally come to a stop, still gripping the base of his shaft.
“Fuck, don’t look at me like that,” he grunts, still chasing his breath as he wipes the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand.
The Devil starts tugging on the corner of your lips, making you smirk. “Like what?”
“Like you want me to destroy you.”
You’re once again slapped in the face by his blunt words but you can’t help but want him to go through with that statement.
“But I do,” you reply, bringing up the back of your hand to wipe your chin clean of the saliva, or at least some of it.
“Yeah, I bet,” he mumbles as he starts unbuttoning his shirt and runs his hand through his hair, messing it up in the process.
He hunches over and pulls you up onto your feet, tugging your skirt down your hips without any obstacles and tossing it aside aggressively. He takes a seat on the couch and spreads his legs wide apart before tugging you toward him to sit in between his legs.
You move to tug off your panties but he stops you, just patting the spot in between his thighs, motioning for you to turn around. You blink at him for a moment before you place your ass right in between his thighs and lean your back into his chest like he wants you to.
His hand trails down your waist to your thigh, awakening the thousands of goosebumps underneath the upperlayer of your skin. He taps your skin gently, mumbling something about spreading for him and you comply.
He uses his other hand to hold your leg apart from the other by placing his hand under the back of your knee and pulling it up while his other hand slowly starts rubbing circles onto your clothed pussy.
You sigh at the friction, finally getting some attention and a soft moan escapes your lips.
“Fuck, you got that wet from sucking me off?” His voice rings in your ear and his proximity almost makes you dizzy, it’s the only explanation for the room that seems to be spinning around you. His words too, because they’re true. The kissing turned you on but letting him use your mouth left you dripping with arousal.
You hum in response as your hips start to roll into his hand, your eyes trailing down to your chest that’s still covered in his cum.
“Leave it like that, you look so pretty.” He must’ve noticed the way you were eyeing his load on your chest but you quickly nod, assuring him you were in no hurry to get rid of it.
He slowly peels your panties off your pussy, noticing the way they stick to your folds. He hums in delight as he pushes your underwear to the side. Your gaze shifts downwards and you intently watch as he effortlessly slides his fingers in between your folds, his fingers already soaked with your slick.
He pulls his fingers back, wanting a glimpse of his fingers covered in your slick. “Fuck,” whispers Seokjin.
You lean your head back into the crook of his neck as you moan softly, chest rising and falling dramatically. His lips leave soft kisses on the side of your neck as his fingers rub your clit, down to your slit, down to your hole to gently tease it.
You’re going to need all the preparation you can get because his dick will undoubtedly make you feel like you’re having sex for the first time all over again.
You impatiently rut your hips into his fingers but he just chuckles, gathering your slick onto his fingers and smearing it all over your sex.
“You’re so impatient, pretty.” His beautiful voice feels like it’s being ladled into your ear by a cloud yet his tone is coated in mockery.
You merely grunt in response before actually using your words. You grumble, “Put them in.”
A hoarse laugh pushes past his lips before he slides his middle and ring finger into your pussy, curling them right away. He watches you with a twisted smirk on his lips as you start writhing on him, bucking your hips the moment his fingertips graze your g-spot.
He shushes you quietly as he begins to fuck his fingers into you, slamming his palm against your clit and doing so at an angle that causes the disgusting gushing sound of your wet pussy to ring in your ears.
You shake your head, you plead, you cry, you do anything to let him know you want to cum, right now, right here on his fingers.
“Listen to that,” he mumbles, lips grazing the shell of your ear as he continues to curl his fingers every now and then. He watches you from the corner of his eyes, thoroughly enjoying how he’s got you writhing for him. “I need a taste.”
That’s all he says before hoisting you off of him and tossing you beside him, onto your couch. A gasp leaves your throat at the sudden strength he uses to do that and the way he drags you to the edge of the cushions, legs spread for him.
He settles on his knees in between your thighs, licking his lips at the sight of your glistening pussy in front of him. “Would you look at that?” he whispers, using his fingers to spread your folds for him.
Fortunately, he wastes no time and lowers his mouth onto your sex, tongue pressed flat against it as he licks up all of your arousal – that he’s the sole cause of.
A pathetic whimper slides up the back of your throat, legs jerking and body squirming under him but he simply chuckles. “I haven’t even done anything, look at you squirming.”
But then, his smile is nowhere to be seen and he’s got a black expression on his beautiful face. “Stay still,” he demands, his voice low and his eyes fixed on your pussy.
Your hips are restrained by his hands, holding you down against the couch as his tongue goes on a rampage against your poor clit. You cry and mewl under him, thighs shaking and fingers gripping at the pillows decorating your couch.
“Fuck,” you moan once he shoves his tongue into you, nose bumping against your clit and teasing you further while he fucks his wet muscle into you.
All you can do is moan and cry his name, fingers tugging at his perfectly styled hair but he doesn’t seem to mind.
“This pussy,” he mumbles as he shakes his head. “Might never get enough of it.” He dives right back in, mouth completely and aggressively devouring you as if he didn’t just have a meal.
“Fuck, I’m gonna fucking cum,” you sniff, hips jerking and thighs clenching but he continues to hold you down, not allowing you to escape his grasp. Your warning words only seem to encourage him as he completely sucks you for what you’re worth.
His precision and movements never falter, continuously stimulating your clit. “You’re already making me hard again,” he says matter-of-factly once he pulls back from your pussy. You think he’s edging you but that thought gets thrown out the window when he suddenly hooks his hands around the back of your thighs and shoves your legs toward you, pressed against your torso to spread you out even more for him.
If this pose isn’t embarrassing enough, him staring down at your pussy like this would certainly be enough to make you anxious.
“What?” you ask quietly as you glance down at him, your chest still in- and deflating from all that pleasure you received just now.
He glances up into your eyes for a few seconds with an unreadable look in his eyes before shifting his eyes back down to your sex, so spread and so exposed for him. “Just admiring your pussy. Can’t I?”
Your teeth roughly bite down on your bottom lip, eyes still watching his every move in anticipation.
But then he simply chuckles to himself before closing in on your pussy again and licking, sucking, making out with your nether regions as if he hasn’t eaten in days. Holy shit, he’s fucking good.
Ugh, why would anyone want to ditch him?
You almost flinch when he exhales slightly, something you’d describe as a quick chuckle. His breath drapes all over your pussy, making you glance down at him but he’s already staring at you.
“Why, thank you.” He rises to his feet as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and ditches the rest of his clothes. “But I was never stood up.”
Your brows pinch together. What is he talking about?
Hold on.
Did you actually say that outloud? Fuck. You goofy bitch!
“What do you mean, you were never stood up?” you mumble as you watch him rip a condom package with his teeth and slowly roll the condom onto his massive dick, giving it a few test tugs.
“Yeah, I lied,” he says nonchalantly as he pulls your leg up and slings it over his shoulder, pulling you to the edge of the couch whilst he stays kneeling on the floor in front of you.
“You lied? How did you lie? I saw you there, sitting by yourself…”
“Yeah, about that...” He slowly starts to push in, making sure to watch your face for any sign of regret or un-readiness.
But you simply squeeze your eyes shut at the burn, he’s inhumanely big and you’re already seeing celestial bodies on the back of your eyelids from how tightly you’re squeezing your eyes shut but he’s being very careful, clearly experienced in this regard.
Did he decide to spring that bullshit on you whilst pushing into you so you’d forget about it?
Well, it’s working. What the fuck?
You can’t help it, your teeth are digging into your bottom lip and your eyes are finally open once he bottoms out. Your walls are burning from the stretch, clearly not very welcoming in these few moments. A few of his hair strands are sticking to his forehead from the sweat but he never loses concentration of going slow and steady.
“You okay?” he whispers, gently rubbing your clit in hopes of helping you relax.
“Ye… Yeah, I think,” you whisper in response, mind clouded. You can’t think about anything else right now.
He slowly nods his head. “You’re going to squeeze my fucking dick off, doll. Relax for me,” he whispers as he reaches over to smooth out the scrunch in your brows with his thumb.
Damn, he’s so damn sexy. You really don’t know him at all.
“Well, clearly I’ve never had something that big shoved in there,” you snark, struggling a little as you do your best to just relax but of course, it’s easier said than done.
“I’ve never fucked anything this tight either,” he chuckles as he leans a bit closer into you, still fully shoved into you, yet not moving. “Let me kiss you.”
You stare into his big brown eyes, your own eyes dropping down to his lips before trailing back up to his eyes.
“Just breathe. You can take it, princess. Look at you, you look so pretty under me.” He leans further down until he’s pressed his lips against yours and if this is him trying to get your mind off of getting split in half by his dick, it’s working.
Because kissing Seokjin is otherworldly. His lips are so plump and pillowy, you could kiss him for fucking hours. You wonder what his lips would look like after making out for hours, swollen and red. Fuck.
He kisses you gently, one thumb still rubbing your clit and you’re trying so hard not to clench around his dick because you’re scared you might actually squeeze his dick off.
“Move,” you demand after a few moments of kissing, wrapping your legs around his waist and caging him in by locking your feet with each other behind his back.
He slowly, very slowly, starts to pull out of you, leaving the head of his dick inside before pushing back into you.
You mewl at the intrusion, throat dry with the sounds you’ve been letting out.
“Shhh, you’re doing so well. Taking it like a champ,” he whispers against your lips, steadily thrusting into you.
Ugh, what happened in your life for the nerdy intern to be talking you through sex right now?
“Faster,” you mumble once he pulls away from your lips, leaning his forehead against yours.
“I hear you,” he chuckles as he picks up the pace of his thrusting, hips rolling into yours at a delicious pace.
“Fuck,” you moan, actually enjoying the burning fullness he gives you. “Fuck, you– you said something about… about lying to me?”
He glances into your eyes, a pinch in his brows as he tries to keep himself from just moaning in response. “Yeah, I lied to you, princess. Sorry about that.”
A cry rips through your poor throat when he suddenly starts snapping his hips into yours, pounding you at a pace and with a type of strength that has your eyes rolling into the back of your head.
Is he doing that to stop you from interrogating him?
“Shit, you’re making a mess on your floor, beautiful.” He says it with such cockiness in his tone that it makes you want to smack him right across the face but he’s just so fucking fine that you have no choice but to let it slide.
You watch as he reaches over to grab some of the paper towels that you placed on the coffee table earlier and uses them to wipe down his cum from your chest to avoid making a mess on your couch.
At least he’s considerate, you suppose.
You drop your head further back against the cushions, moans continuously spilling from your lips as his hips pound into yours, his dick rubbing every single millimeter of your slick walls.
Tears spill out of your eyes from all the sensations ripping through your body, your own hand coming up to shield the outside world from your loudness but Seokjin is quicker, slapping your hand away from your mouth.
“Let me hear how pretty I make you sound.” He simply continues to fuck into you, making sure your leg stays secured against his torso and over his shoulder.
He deliberately fucks you at an angle that makes the squelching of your pussy that much louder and embarrassing. “Listen to that,” he whispers, mockery on his face and a curl at the corners of his lips.
“Shut up,” you whimper, cheeks heated in embarrassment. “Don’t think I–” you yelp, “I forgot about you telling me you lied to me.”
He merely hums in response and leans back a bit, grabbing both your legs by the back of your knees and pushing them toward your chest while he continues to snap his hips into yours, stretching you out so harsh yet so fucking good.
“If you ask the right questions, I promise I’ll answer honestly.” His ragged breathing betrays his act of nonchalance but you’re too fucked out to point it out.
Ugh. Is this a game to him?
You inhale a shaky breath. “Did you get stood up or not?” you ask, hoping he’ll give you the clarification you’re looking for despite already having told you that he lied to you about it.
“No,” he replies, teeth digging into his plump bottom lip as you clench and squeeze around him.
You manage to ask through moans, “So, she did show up?”
He shakes his head, eyes glued to the way his dick slides in and out of you. He abruptly pulls out and turns you over by your waist, pressing your face, stomach and chest deeply into the cushions of your couch and wastes no time slamming back into you.
“Fuck!” you cry out with your knees now on the floor, mouth practically drooling all over your couch as he tugs your arms towards him and bends them at the elbows to pin them into your lower back, keeping you caged and with no other option than to take it.
And you wouldn’t want it any other way.
“No,” he grunts in reply, hips continuously snapping into your ass and his eyes glued to your bum recoiling against his body.
What the hell? He’s not making any sense.
If she didn’t show up, that means he got stood up, doesn’t it?
Wait.
The realization sets.
“Did–” you pause, trying to catch your breath. “Did you have a date at all?”
He hums in response as he fucks you, one hand keeping your arms pinned and one hand coming down to squeeze the soft skin of your ass.
“I didn’t.”
Huh?
An involuntary sob escapes you, earning a cocky chuckle from him. Bastard. “So,” you start, “what were you doing there?”
He was just sitting there. He hadn’t even ordered yet. Why the hell was he there?
He kisses his teeth with a loud smack as he stays quiet for a few moments after your question. “I own the restaurant.”
Record scratch.
What?
You echo, “You own the restaurant?”
That restaurant is very fancy and pricey, why was he working in a company like yours if he owned a restaurant like that?
“Well, my dad does.” He lets go of your arms to grip both your hips, rocking you back onto his sex instead of fucking you. “I’ll be inheriting it soon.”
Fucking hell.
That explains the expensive car.
The next few moments are just filled with moans, heavy breathing and skin slapping. His fingers dig into your skin, gripping you tightly as if you’d slip through of his fingers.
Your own hand reaches down and starts rubbing at your clit, teeth abusing your bottom lip as you squeeze your eyes shut. “Fuck,” you whimper as your orgasm starts approaching.
“You gonna cum?” he whispers, slightly picking up the pace of his thrusts.
You quickly nod your head, face still buried in your coach and it’s going to be very fun to clean that makeup off your couch.
“Go on, then,” he encourages, his hand coming down to your ass in a rough slap, making you jolt forwards from the impact.
Swear words continue to fall from his lips and you struggle to even form a coherent sentence.
But then, the world stops spinning and the room starts to.
Your phone is ringing. Fuck!
You slowly reach over and turn your screen to face you, curses falling from your lips.
Seokjin asks, “Who is that?”
Fuck. “It’s Taehyung. He probably wants to know if I got home okay. I’ll just text him la–”
“Pick up,” he says, thrusts never halting. Actually, his hips pound into yours even harsher. Bastard.
You squeal, “I’m not going to pick up while I’m–”
He cuts you off. “While you’re getting fucked by me?”
“It has nothing to do with you. Just… you know. Me getting fucked.”
A sultry chuckle leaves his mouth and he gradually slows down in pace, sensually rolling his hips into yours. “Go on, pick up.”
An exasperated sigh leaves your mouth quietly as you accept the call and put the phone to your ear. “Hello?”
“Yo, where are you?”
“I’m uh,” you mumble as you shake your head, trying so hard to not focus on the way the tip of Seokjin’s dick softly kisses your cervix with each thrust. “I’m home.”
“Alright. Cool if I come over?”
Your eyes almost pop out of your eye sockets. “What? No. You can’t come over.”
“Huh? Why?”
“Because,” you pause as you glance over your shoulder into Seokjin’s eyes with an expression on your face that only feeds his damn ego. “Just because, okay?”
“But you– oh.” Taehyung goes quiet. “Oh. I see how it is,” he says and you can practically hear the shit-eating grin in his voice.
“Bye, Taehyung.”
“I bet you’re getting dicked down by big dick Seokj–”
Your thumb quickly slams down on the red hang up button before you toss your phone aside, ready to hear Seokjin’s comments and questions about the phone call but he doesn’t say anything.
Instead, he picks up the pace again, fucking you just the way he seems to like it.
He places his hands on your shoulders and continues to fuck the absolute shit out of you, making you arch your back and ruin your throat with the way he’s pounding your poor pussy.
The consistent thrusts and his silent whispers of praise are what ultimately send you over the edge, your entire body shuddering and falling limp against the couch as he continues to fuck you through your orgasm. You pathetically cry out under him, clenching around him, the entire room spinning as his big dick slides in and out of you.
“Shit, you’re so fucking hot,” he mumbles as he spreads your asscheeks apart, eyes glued to how he slides in and out of you and the way your tight pussy grips onto him. “Can I cum on you again?”
Fuck. He can cum wherever the fuck he wants.
“Yeah,” you whimper in overstimulation, not having enough energy or sass to roll your eyes at his cocky chuckle. Bastard.
“You’re so good to me,” he whispers, hips snapping into your ass as he chases his own high. It doesn’t take long until he completely pulls out of you and yanks the condom off, aiming his dick at your ass and unloading all over your bum, coating your skin in his cum.
“Fuck,” he groans, watching as you reach for your ass and spread your cheeks for him, looking over your shoulder at him.
He mumbles, “Shit, you’re gonna be the death of me.”
You merely hum in response, still in the clouds from that orgasm as he milks himself of every drop on your soft skin.
After he comes down from his high, he focuses on catching his breath but doesn’t wait for much longer until he reaches for the roll of paper towels again. He quietly cleans you up, slow and steady, making sure not to spill before he moves onto the mess you made on the floor.
He gently tugs your panties back up your legs and by the time he’s helped you sit back onto the couch, he’s already fully dressed.
He looks down at you, wiping some of your makeup with the paper towels but it’s not doing much. “I like how fucked your face is,” he comments, rubbing your chin with his thumb as he stands before you.
A scowl forms on your face but it just elicits a chuckle from him before he leans down and softly pecks your lips.
He reaches for your elbows and helps you rise to your feet, asking for directions to your room.
Once he’s helped you out of your clothes and thoroughly cleaned you up, he helps you into bed.
When the click of the door handle being turned reaches your ears, you stop him by calling out his name and it makes him glance at you over his. shoulder. “You can just stay. It’s really late.”
He stares at you for a moment before chuckling and adding a shake to his head for good measure. “One conversation and I’m spending the night? I wonder how long it’ll take for you to fall for me.”
You roll your eyes exaggeratedly and pettily turn onto your side, giving him your cold back. “Then don’t stay, I was just trying to be polite.”
His obnoxious laugh rips through your eardrums and it’s like he’s the only person on Earth with you now.
It isn’t long before you hear the ruffling of his clothes and the mattress behind you dipping under his weight.
You try to go to sleep with his soft breath grazing your neck but unfortunately, you can’t ignore it and it takes you a whole lot of time to actually doze off.
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The soft clinking of metal wakes you out of your slumber. You slowly awaken, your eyes meeting his figure in the corner of your room as he buckles his belt in front of the mirror.
You slowly sit up and rub the sleep out of your eyes. “Why did you lie to me?” you hoarsely ask him, this time not beating around the bush.
He glances at you through the mirror for a second, probably surprised that you’ve woken up. He then fully returns his attention to himself and shrugs his shoulders with a hint of nonchalance. “Why were you nice to me when no one else was?”
At this, you can’t help but frown. What kind of a question is that? “Because I’m a decent human being?”
He tilts his head to the side at your answer, eyes staring at you through the mirror in silence for several seconds.
“And I’m not.” He turns around to face you. “Does that answer your question, lovely?” he says it with so much nonchalance and arrogance, like he genuinely doesn’t care at all.
You idly blink at him through the mirror from where you’re seated, mind booming with all the images of nerdy Seokjin and it’s like you’re staring at a completely different person. Are you sure he doesn’t have an evil twin or something like that?
He slowly walks up to you and it makes you sit up even straighter and for some reason his proximity still makes you nervous. Your eyes slowly travel up his body, finally glancing at him through your pretty lashes.
“I put my number on that note over there. Call me whenever you need me.” He nods towards your nightstand and you follow his line of direction, noticing a pink post-it with his number, name and a winking smiley scribbled on it.
When you turn your head back to look at him, he raises his hand and strokes your head before leaning down to press a gentle peck to your pouty lips. “Or whenever you want me, I don’t judge.” He winks at you, rubbing your bottom lip with his thumb before straightening his back and gathering his wallet and keys.
Is this really how it’s going to go?
“Wait,” you call out. He cocks an eyebrow at you as he absentmindedly slides his wallet and keys into the pockets of his slacks.
You say, “Am I supposed to just… act like nothing happened?” With a slight shake to your head, you continue, “Tomorrow at work? Like you haven’t shown me your true colors?”
Is he going to act like nothing happened? Is he going to be the same Seokjin you’ve always known? Will he have a distinct look in your eye every time he looks at you? Couldn’t you just out him to the others? Why was he comfortable showing you such private matters about himself?
His dark eyes stare into yours for a moment longer and it almost stings, it stings the way he stares you down. The faintest smirk creeps onto his lips and you can swear you just met the Devil, standing face to face with evil reincarnated.
Then, he simply shrugs his shoulders and drops them again as he heads out the door, not even looking back at you.
“It’s not like anyone would believe you anyways.”
And with that, he exits your apartment, leaving you to process what happened in the past 12 hours on your own.
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hi tara! if the prompt already hasnt been asked for, can i request 86 "Please just leave." with mingyu? thank you <3333 reading all the drabbles now hahahah
silence, at its loudest
pairing: mingyu x reader | wc: 1.1k prompt: "Please just leave." au: chef!mingyu | warnings: angst! and tears a/n: TIYA HELLO! thank you for this req it was so sad to write but i hope you love <3
The apartment was suffocatingly quiet for a fight. No music playing in the background, no rain against the windows to soften the edges of your words—just silence, heavy and dense, pressing against your chest, making it hard to breathe. Mingyu stood in the center of the living room, his coat still damp from the storm outside, water dripping from the fabric, leaving a faint puddle at his feet. His tall frame seemed out of place here, as if it didn’t belong in this small space, weighed down by the tension between you both.
You were perched on the couch, arms crossed tightly, a defensive shield you knew wouldn’t protect you from the pain of this conversation. You wanted to retreat into the softness of the cushions, to sink away from him, but you couldn’t move. You couldn’t look away, even as your chest tightened and the cold of the room seeped deeper into your skin.
“I don’t even understand what I did wrong!” His voice cracked, frustration and confusion lacing his words. He ran a hand through his damp hair, as if trying to shake the tension out of his mind. “I—I’m here, aren’t I? Why is that never enough for you?”
Your breath hitched, your heart pounding in your throat, but you didn’t back down. You couldn’t. The words you’d been holding back for so long finally broke free, raw and cutting. “It’s not just about you being here, Mingyu. It’s when you decide to show up. You don’t get to keep ignoring me until I’ve hit my limit, then think you can fix everything by standing in my living room and saying you care.”
He took a step forward, but his eyes were desperate, pleading for some sign that you still cared, that there was something left of the person he used to know. “I don’t understand. I’ve been working—working to build something, something for us! And when I’m finally here, you still—”
“You’re always working, Mingyu!” Your voice cracked under the weight of the frustration that had been building for months, maybe longer. “When was the last time you didn’t have your phone on you? When was the last time you didn’t cancel on me because ‘the restaurant’s short-staffed,’ or you just need to finish one last thing?” Your breath came out in short, shaky bursts. “You didn’t even call me back when you knew it was my birthday. That’s what hurts the most.”
The words hit him like a blow, a quick intake of air following the realization. His expression faltered, the first cracks appearing in his armor. “I... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“Yeah, you didn’t mean to,” you interrupted, voice soft but heavy with disappointment. “But it keeps happening, Mingyu. You keep doing it. You keep saying it’s not intentional, and then you walk through the door like everything’s fine, like you haven’t been neglecting me for weeks.”
He froze. The tension between you thickened, hanging in the air like smoke that wouldn’t dissipate. “I wasn’t ignoring you, okay? I was just trying to... I thought you’d understand. I thought you’d—”
“No, you didn’t think, Mingyu. You assumed,” you said, bitterness seeping into every syllable. “You assumed I’d be fine with it. You assumed I’d be okay with the empty promises, the unreturned messages, the way you disappear whenever things get hard. But I’m not fine. And I’m so tired of pretending that I am.”
His hands shook as he stepped toward you again, his voice breaking with a softness you hadn’t heard in months. “I’m sorry. I know I screwed up. But I’m here now. Let me make it right. I’ll... I’ll stay. I’ll be here for you. I’ll make things better.”
You shook your head, stepping back, distancing yourself both physically and emotionally. “That’s the problem, Mingyu. You think that just showing up, just being here in front of me, is enough to make everything better. But it’s not. It’s too late for that. I can’t just pretend like everything’s okay when it’s not.”
His eyes softened, and for a moment, the boy you fell for peeked through the cracks. The one who used to wait outside your office just to walk you home, who stayed up late to hear every mundane detail of your day, who never left you wondering where he was or if he cared. That version of him felt like a distant memory now, buried beneath layers of missed calls, broken promises, and unspoken words.
You could see it in his face—the hurt, the regret—but the distance between you both felt too wide to cross anymore. “Please... Don’t do this,” he whispered, stepping closer, his voice raw with emotion. “I need you. I need us.”
You swallowed, your throat tight with the weight of everything you wanted to say but couldn’t. “I can’t keep waiting for you to care when you decide it’s convenient for you, Mingyu. I can’t keep putting myself through this. I can’t keep pretending that it’s enough just because you’re here when it suits you.”
The silence stretched between you both, suffocating and heavy. His hand reached out, fingers trembling as if he wanted to hold you, to make things right, but he stopped himself. He knew, deep down, that it was too late. That the bridge between you had already collapsed, one small misstep at a time, until there was nothing left to salvage.
“Please just leave,” you said quietly, the words slipping from your lips like they didn’t even belong to you. They were heavy, final, like the last breath of something you once held dear.
His breath hitched, his chest tightening, but you didn’t look away. You couldn’t look away from the wreckage that was left between you both, and you knew that leaving now was the only way to preserve whatever was left of yourself.
He stood frozen, his hand still on the doorknob, his body shaking like he was fighting to say something, anything, to change the course of what was happening. But the words wouldn’t come. There was nothing left to say. The silence stretched until it became deafening.
With one last look, he stepped out, the door closing softly behind him. You stood there, motionless, listening to the sound of his footsteps fade away into the distance, swallowed by the rain and the night.
The apartment was cold now, emptier than it had ever been, the silence louder than any argument. And when you finally exhaled, it was like the breath you’d been holding for so long had escaped—too late, but finally out.
But the ache in your chest remained.
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SUNSETS AND BUCKET LISTS
han jisung × reader - fluff, childhood friends to lovers, college au - 1.8k
summary - spending your last day with your best friend before school should be sad, but this time it took an unexpected turn
cw - use of yn?
links - masterlist
so! i'm almost late but, still made it in time. i guess you could call this ji's bday fic (tho there will be more sunshine twins content coming soon), but most importantly, happy birthday katsy!! ( @catiuskaa ) this one is for you <3333
and shout out to my mars who saved me several times writing this. not proofread and idk what is that ending, but i hope you like it! <3
“Morning, sleepyhead,” Jisung whispered into your ear, his hot breath spilling over your skin, making you shiver and instantly startling you awake. Or mostly awake. Still half asleep, your brain only registered that someone is in very close proximity to you and we do not like that, before your hand tightened on your plushie and you whacked Jisung in the face.
“Ow, what’s that for?” he whined, dramatically holding his palm to the right side of his face. His mischievous grin was replaced by a scowl and he looked at you like you just stole his dog, not simply hit him with a stuffed cat. With your consciousness finally catching up to speed, you realized that it was not an alien coming to abduct you, but it was Han Jisung, your best friend since you were three years old. And he carried the title proudly, always mentioning your sixteen years long friendship to anyone who (did not) care.
“Sorry, Ji, oh my god!” You swiftly rose up on the bed, it was a miracle your head didn't collide with Jisung's as well. “I thought you were, I don't know, a pervert or something.”
“YN,” Jisung sighed. “It's literally just us two and our parents. There's a security system in the house. How would a pervert even get in?”
He was right. Growing up in the same town, just three houses away, your families have known each other very well. It was a tradition that started when you and Jisung were old enough to travel and actually understand a vacation. Your families always rented out the same beach house to spend the last two weeks of summer holiday together.
By now, you knew the place front to back, being able to move around while blinded and you would be just fine. So Jisung was right, but you couldn’t possibly let him have the win so easily.
“I don't know,” you shrugged. “They always find a way?” Jisung gave you an unimpressed look. “Okay, okay. But it's still your fault. You shouldn't have woken me up like a creep.”
“Blah, blah, blah.” Jisung rolled his eyes and grabbed your hands, quite literally dragging out of bed and out of the warm comfort of the covers. You hissed and a shiver ran over your skin as your, due to the summer heat barely clothed, body made contact with the cold floor. “Come on, get up, we have so much stuff to do!”
Jisung let go of your hands, bouncing around happily. You shook your head, amazed at the amount of energy he had so early in the morning. Had he eaten just sugar for breakfast?
You slowly stood up, rummaging through the closet for some clothes. “Turn around at least, perv,” you laughed, smacking him over his chest with a shirt. Jisung laughed, but left the room, giving you privacy to change. Not wanting to keep him waiting, you put on the first shorts and shirt you found. It's not like you were going to meet many people so who cares, right? On your way out you grabbed a hoodie too. The summer was in fact nearing its end and the mornings were often chilly. And knowing Jisung, you will have breakfast outside.
As per your prediction, the small outside table was full of food, with Jisung impatiently waiting for you, bouncing his leg and playing with a fork.
After a quick breakfast, Jisung shared his plan for the day. You listen in disbelief, wondering how he wanted to fit all of that into one day. Despite your doubts, you were going to do everything for it to happen though.
This was your last day together. In pursuit of your respective dreams, you and Jisung not only attended different universities, but in different cities too and the distance made it even harder. In order to visit each other, you would have to spend several hours traveling, and that was a luxury you couldn’t afford. You tried, but then a test came up, or a friend's birthday party or Jisung was sick… After three months you gave up trying, resigning to seeing your best friend on Christmas and summer only.
It was hard enough to leave him last year, but you called each other a lot. In the beginning that was. Once you got your bearings and university properly started, you were often so exhausted you fell asleep on the video call. Or didn't call at all, because Jisung forgot to charge his phone in the whirlwind of classes and deadlines.
You never knew it was possible to miss someone so much. Being without Jisung felt like someone was slowly tearing off your limbs. And when you saw him at Christmas, it felt like the puzzle finally found its missing piece. A week later, in your dorm room with friends and soju, some revelations were had, but by the time summer came around, your mind was in a completely different place.
And this time, knowing what kind of year you were up against, letting go of Jisung for another several months suddenly felt impossible. Knowing this shared vacation was coming, both you and Jisung made a list of activities to do and places nearby to visit. But with how excited you both were, you put off checking boxes in favour of lazing around, watching anime, going to the pool and talking for hours.
So there you were, left with a list impossible to complete by the end of today. Yet nothing would deter you from trying.
“I think I'm actually gonna die.” You fell onto your towel, lying motionlessly on the beach. Not even having enough energy to watch the sunset, which you would have taken countless pics of any other day.
By some miracle, you managed to complete Jisung's entire checklist for the day, which left you completely exhausted. You were seriously thinking of asking Jisung to carry you back, because unlike you, he seemed as if powered by the air he breathed - he hadn't run out of energy the whole day.
“Noo, you can't die yet. We still have to check off the paddleboard at the sea,” Jisung said. And there it was, he actually brought the paddleboard down to the beach. You saw it lying next to your things when you sat back up.
“Ji, seriously?” you laughed. “You can't swim? And it's dark.” The idea seemed a little funny and a whole lot crazy. It was one thing to be at the pool, where there was a bottom and a limited amount of water. To go to the wild, open sea, in the dark, and tired after the whole day? k
“Actually… I can. Kinda. Lix taught me,” Jisung admitted. You knew who he was talking about, Jisung wouldn't shut up about his roommate and new best friend Felix, he actually mentioned him in about every conversation he could. It was kind of cute actually. You were worried Jisung would struggle, being an introvert with social anxiety, but Felix waltzed into his life and saved him for you.
“Okay…” Felix teaching him solved one problem at least. But you still didn't feel like it was a good idea. “Ji, do we have to? What if something happens? We're tired, we're alone here…”
Jisung’s shoulders slumped. “Right, yeah you're right. I just had this plan and I wanted to… nevermind.”
That wasn't fair. Now you felt bad. God, why was Jisung so cute? “Maybe we could… I don't know. Put it just by the shore and sit on it?” you suggested, wanting to make Jisung happy. You would do anything to make him happy, even go out on the sea when you thought about it.
Alone together on the beach, the sun setting over the water, the atmosphere was romantic. And thought your brain, because all your feelings that you pushed aside to focus on quality time with Jisung, now came rushing back all at once.
Jisung's face lit up. “Yeah, we can do that. I guess it counts as completing.” You helped Jisung push the paddleboard just behind the first waves, sitting on it with your feet in the water, still in the safe distance to the shore.
You looked over the horizon, the sun reflecting on the water begging to be photographed. “Selca?” you asked. Jisung nodded and leaned closer, posing for the low quality picture. With barely any natural light left, the photo was bound to be blurry and dark, but you always liked that kind of aesthetic anyway.
Feeling daring in the moment, you pressed your lips to Jisung's cheek. Barely, just a few seconds, but enough to capture on your phone.
“YN…” Jisung whispered. If it wasn't so dark, you would see the pink dusting his face.
“Sorry, I just… I just had to,” you said. What did you have to lose anyway? You were leaving tomorrow morning and wouldn't see Jisung for another few months. “I had to know what it feels like,” you whispered.
Jisung lowered his gaze, choosing to look at the waves rather than looking at you. Somehow, the silence was scarier than a rejection of your implied confession.
“Say something Ji, please,” you begged, not knowing how to bear the crushing weight of the silence anymore. You feared what message it carried.
“You crossed the last box for me.”
Before you could ask what it meant, Jisung took out a crumpled piece of paper and handed it to you. His checklist of activities for the vacation. When you unfolded the small ball of paper, your eyes skimmed over the completed activities, all the way to the last one.
Kiss YN in some super romantic moment.
“I planned to tell you,” Jisung spoke up. “How I feel. I guess you beat me to it.” He lifted his head to look at you. “I did understand it correctly, right? It wasn't a platonic friend kiss, because Felix sometimes gives me those and if it was then forget everything I said because-”
You surged forward, interrupting his rambling with your lips on his. It was a wonder you didn't fall off the paddleboard, with how much force was used. You felt him freeze and smile, as he slowly kissed you back, overcoming the initial shock and surprise.
And you kissed, until there was no sun in the sky and your parents had to go look at why you took so long. That night, you laid in Jisung's bed, making promises and wishes for the upcoming year, already making plans, determined to not give up this time.
Somehow, coming back to campus and the insanity your university could be sometimes, wasn't as hard as it was last year. This time around, you had something new to look forward to in the darkest moments of endless texts and assignments. You had a boyfriend and a promise to keep. No giving up this time. And you both dutifuly kept it.
Jisungie <3
still alive after that test?
YN <3
barely
i'm dead inside and lonely
my roommate's out this weekend on a family thing
leaving me all alone in this dorm
Jisungie <3
good thing i have no classes this friday
see you then ynnie <3
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