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kaija-rayne-author · 1 year ago

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Would you recognize an autistic or ADHD person if you saw one?

What about an autistic or ADHD fictional character?

Many of y'all will say, of course.

And you'll be wrong.

I'm not talking to hatched autistics and ADHDers. We can usually spot others like us and autistic/ADHD coded characters in fiction.

Definition: A 'hatched' autistic or ADHDer is someone who knows they're one or the other or both, AND they understand and accept that pretending to be neurotypical is bad for us.

It actually kills us, so, yeah, bad. The leading causes of death for autistics is unaliving or heart attack from the stress of living in a world that was most certainly not created for us. In some ways, this world is antithetical to us.

We also experience the stress of what's known as 'masking'.

Our average age of death is 36 years old. Think about that for a second. 36. And the rates of unaliving in autistic and ADHD kids is utterly obscene. The suicide watch for parents of autistic kids starts at 8 years old. 8.

(I don't say this for everything, but self-diagnosis is absolutely valid for autism and ADHD. In a world where people can still be institutionalized or lose their kids because of an autism diagnosis--this is fact for Britain and several US states. France is awful for autistics-- self diagnosis must be valid so we can figure ourselves out without endangerment.)

Masking is where a traumatized autistic (and I've also never met or even heard about an untraumatized autistic/ADHDer) will create a, persona, almost, that lets us function in the world.

It's rarely intentional, my youngest son started masking at 4 in pre-kindergarten because he wanted other kids to like him and want to play with him. Even though our home is very supportive of diversity, especially about autism and ADHD, y'all... he was *4*.

Being autistic and/or ADHD is so damned lonely. Especially if you don't know why you're different. So we do our best to adapt. That can cause issues.

Masking isn't meant as a lie. It's survival instinct. Because even though the world absolutely doesn't treat us like we're human beings, we still are. We want to survive and thrive as much as the next hominid. We have all the same needs and desires as any other human.

But what about the rest of all y'all? Can you recognize us?

Last week, a music teacher banned a 6 year old autistic kid from the school concert because 'they would ruin the experience for the other children' this is after making the autistic kid learn and practice the songs for weeks. 6 years old and that kid already has scars from discrimination about a genetic condition he can't help. It's cruel and so damned inhumane. At worst, the kid probably sang off key and maybe fidgetted a bit. But that would 'ruin' the concert. It's not the Estonian Philharmonic Chamber Choir, lady, it's an elementary school concert. It's absolutely not worth scarring that poor kid over. It also happened back in 2022, and again in 2017.

People will have seen 'Atypical' or 'The Good Doctor' or, gods forbid, Rainman and think they know what autistic people look like. (You should probably know that the majority of autistics loathe those shows because the rep is so bad.)

But here's the thing.

You can't see autism or ADHD. Not just by looking at us. It's purely a brain wiring difference. People don't even believe me when I tell them I am if they've seen me in person. And I'm professionally diagnosed as both autistic & ADHD.

Sometimes, there are co occurring issues, like intellectual disability, that are confused with autism, but they aren't actually the autism or ADHD part of things.

I'm an autistic and ADHD advocate. I have a consultant option on my Patreon for people who want advice either for themselves or so they do the right thing by their kids. I'm autistic/ADHD, my kids are too. I've been researching and learning about the topic for close to a decade at this point. I truly know what I'm talking about. I understand the different flavours and experiences of these two types of neurodivergency extremely well.

As an aside, while I have you here, ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) is never the right thing. You know how gay conversion therapy is bad? The same person (Ivar Lovass) came up with ABA, and it's meant to do the same thing. To torture people, most often children, into pretending to be what someone else wants them to be. It doesn't support or help the autistic person.

Almost unilaterally, ABA causes a PTSD breakdown of self coming into our 30s. I say almost, but I've never even heard of an autistic person who has been tortured by ABA who hasn't developed severe PTSD.

If you tried to use the methods used in ABA on a dog, you'd be guilty of extreme animal cruelty.

Yet, because it's practiced on human children, it's fiiiiine. Big money lobbying has even made it so that ABA 'therapy' is the only one covered by a lot of insurances.

We can thank Autism $peaks for that. They are a hate group. They fit every bit of the definition of one and then some. (So please don't donate to them at the till. They love to pollute stores like Toys 'R' Us.)

Adult autistics have been speaking out against them forever. But since most autistics (80%) are under or unemployed, we don't have the kind of financial sway we'd need to get rid of them. Yes, this even counts for 'the new ABA'.

You can't save ABA. Putting a 2 year old human child through 40 hours weekly of 'training' so that they can look and act neurotypical is just flat out torture. Making a child 'extremely hungry or thirsty' so that they will do what you want is torture. There's just no other way to slice that apple. It's rotten to the core.

But back to my point.

Recently, someone disagreed with my opinion on a fictional character. I feel the character is autistic/ADHD coded, the other person disagreed.

That's cool. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. And it's fiction, whatever. I'm not mad or upset. (I'm slightly insulted, because if you're not autistic/ADHD, [and a comparison they suggested made me think they definitely weren't] it's definitely not your place to disagree with one of us who says a character is autistic/ADHD coded. It's disrespectful and more than a little ableist. Simply because so many people have the completely wrong idea about both conditions.)

Regardless, the important part for a fictional character is that a person was able to see themselves in the character, to empathize with them. So it's not a big deal.

But it got me thinking about this.

Would most people recognize the subtle signs? They're almost always extremely subtle.

Ever hear of 'resting bitch face'? It's an incredibly common autistic trait because we either emote less or we emote differently than neurotypicals. In our world, it's known as 'flat face effect'. I have it, and I've been harmed many times because it looks like I'm pissed off even when I'm having a good time or I'm just deep in thought. I've got a firey temper, trust me when I say you'll know it when I'm pissed off.

So. You see a character (or even a person) who doesn't emote a lot? Or emotes extremely subtly? Wellll... that's a good clue.

So, X fictional character (or person) has odd or esoteric knowledge or hobbies. That's a good clue.

Are they nerdy or geeky in some way?

Most autistics and many ADHDers experience what's known as hyperfixation on special interests. Ever see someone get so fascinated by a topic or skill or activity that they get lost in it?

Forget to eat or drink?

Learn to do an obscure craft just because they wanted to know how it's done? That person is likely autistic or ADHD or both. It applies to fictional characters too.

Are they stand-offish? Many of us are for various reasons. One is that we're trying to figure out the 'rules' of wherever and whoever we're with.

Why all y'all insist on staring creepily at each others eyeballs is beyond me. I find it either too intimate, painfully so, or just ridiculous.

That quiet character (or person) who warms up slowly? There's a hint.

Another reason we tend to be cool with strangers is that ever present trauma thing. So many autists and ADHDers get to the point in life where we just don't have it in us anymore to keep trying to make social connections. A very common trait of both autism and ADHD is a lack of understanding of neurotypical social rules. And trust me, y'all have them.

Does the character or person fidget? Either subtly or more obviously?

It's called stimming. I had to learn to do it unobtrusively, so I'll suck air through my teeth (my dentist isn't impressed by this), circle my pointer finger around my thumb, tap the pad of each finger on my thumb in a rhythm, count silently to myself... the list is probably endless. I intentionally leave the cuticles on my thumbs rough, because I often rub the forefinger or ring finger of that hand over the rough cuticle as a stim.

Maybe they rotate their ring around a finger?

Play with their hair?

Stimming is something that calms us down and helps us regulate our emotions. (It's also one of the first things ABA robs us of. It's called 'quiet hands'.) It's really bad to deprive an autistic or ADHDer of stimming.

I used to click the button on a pen so much that I banned myself from having clicky pens because of how annoying it can be to others.

There are healthy stims and unhealthy ones. (Head banging is an example of an unhealthy stim.)

So a character or person who is just, always moving somehow? There's a hint. Or they're rhythmically moving a body part? Tapping fingers? Wiggling a foot or leg? Fussing with their clothing? Rocking?

Is the character or person 'a walking encyclopedia'? In other words, do they know a lot of information about either one or two topics or about many topics?

That character (or person) is often stereotyped as being a computer genius who can make any computer work just by looking at it for a few minutes. But it can honestly be any topic or combination of topics. That's another clue.

Many autists are almost hard wired to be painfully honest. Unless we've been traumatized into it, we tend to be shitty liars. I'm, unfortunately, a very good liar. It's not something I choose to do, because I don't want my trauma to change something so innate to me as my honesty. I had to learn to lie to survive. I don't recommend it.

Does the person or character truly believe in things like honour? Justice? Mercy? Peace? (Many neurotypical people will call these things social lies that keep the world working.) I'm talking a bone deep belief in honour etc. Are they a shitty liar?

I think I've blathered enough for now. I want to make it clear that I don't speak for all autistic and ADHD folks. I'm just one person attempting to share some of the more common traits with whoever wants to read about it.

A final thought.

Nothing can make someone autistic or ADHD. It's a genetic condition. Which is why so many parents find out they're autistic or ADHD when their kids are diagnosed. It's not more prevalent now, it's just that more people are learning about the actual parameters of it. Diagnosis is easier now than 50 years ago. It's been around since ancient Egypt and probably evolved as a way to keep the clan safe in prehistoric times.

We often have heightened senses. Sometimes we have what I call 'predator vision' which sounds awful but just means that my gaze is automatically drawn to movement. Our sleep cycles are also commonly very different than a neurotypical's. We probably ended up being people who would take night watch, stare at the stars for hours, or warn people when food has gone off so no one eats it.

I think we evolved right alongside neurotypicals because we're both needed for a successful society.

Many, many of the world's famed thinkers/creators are considered to have likely been autistic/ADHD based on records about them.

These people include:

Leonardo DaVinci

Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni

Nikolai Tesla

Albert Einstein

Thomas Jefferson

Charles Darwin

Emily Dickinson

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

William Butler Yeats

Vincent Van Gogh

Benjamin Franklin

People who are autistic or ADHD these days that you may not expect?

Dan Ackroyd

Darryl Hannah

Anthony Hopkins

Jerry Seinfeld

Eminem

Courtney Love

David Byrne

Wentworth Miller

Satoshi Tajiri (creator of Pokemon)

There are also many, many people who have shown autistic or ADHD traits and haven't confirmed or it's impossible to confirm because they're deceased and we don't have the right records.

It's considered a massive faux pas to assign a diagnosis of anything to a living human being. So everyone living I've listed has in some way confirmed it. There are many, many other people (especially in creative industries or hobbies) I believe are likely one or the other, but I wouldn't label. That's for them to do.

If you enjoyed this or learned something and you can, please consider a tip or becoming a Patron. My work of words is my only income.

Every historical person is just a 'likely' because we'll never actually know. All we can do is point at the exhibited traits via records and say, probably.

#being autistic #autistic things #actually autistic #autism #ADHD #actually adhd #autistic problems #autistic adult #autistic #late diagnosed autistic #late diagnosed adhd #fiction #fictional characters #fiction critique

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forevermore-quoth-the-kitten · 2 years ago

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MC has ADHD (Part 1)

MC has ADHD, and medicated or not, there's no adderal in the Devildom, so they have to deal with it on their own. Sometimes that doesn't go over too well since the denizens of the Devildom have no clue how to handle you sometimes.

Lucifer

Lucifer understands that sometimes you put things off and procrastinate, he can deal with your habit when it's not nearly as bad as some of his brothers.

but today you just will not do anything. you have chores and homework and school and you haven't done any of them today! he can't understand it and is trying to lecture you but you just groan and tell him you can't do anything even if you tried. you did try, but he has a hard time believing it.

Lucifer freezes when you drop a phrase he doesn't know though. he stops and asks you what 'executive dysfunction' is and he sits and listens as you explain.

why do you not always have it, he wonders. and you do, but some days it's worse than others. today you can't do anything other than really mindless things and it's why you can't seem to get anything done.

is this condition tied to something else? . . . ok now you have to explain ADHD to him because he's heard of it but hasn't bothered learning about it since it's not something relevant to him.

after you explain everything he wants to know, Lucifer has a sneaking suspicion that it might be more relevant to his life than he thought, you described a certain brother of his and some of his behaviors too well.

he's curious and wonders if there's anything in the devildom will help. you said it's a physical thing, so there must be a medication that helps, right?

Adderal? he'll look into that. Lucifer leaves you be after that and within two days you're doing your work properly again. he does his best but there doesn't seem to be any human safe alternative to adderal in the devildom. he'll get you some from the human realm (somehow)

Mammon

don't get him wrong, Mammon loves it when you guys go shopping! but what's the occasion, you tend to try to avoid going shopping with him!

impulse buying-wait weren't you lecturing him about that just a few days ago?! hypocrite!! Mammon's all pouty and defensive but you're just rolling your eyes.

there's a difference between constantly buying things just because and a random but uncommon impulse buy, and you only wanted to go to one store.

Mammon doesn't get it, you see something you want and you buy it, that's exactly what you're doing right now! Control nothing you owe him for lecturing him! buy him something!

no?! why are you laughing?!

you appease him by stopping at a cafe and getting him something while you sit down and explain why you suddenly had the strong rudge to stop at that store and buy something. you like that store and just really needed something you saw from it online, but you prefer shopping in person.

Mammon's confused when you get into something you have and he panics when you drop some weird name. like do you have a disease?! are you dying?!

no? so what is it? geez, don't scare him like that human! Mammon settles back and does his best to remember everything you say, and he gets really confused when he starts asking questions about ADHD and you start telling him about things he does.

Mammon asks you about it, mad that you're just making fun of him, but you just laugh and say that you were pretty sure he had ADHD too, and that he can ask you about anything he wants to know about it. it might be different since he's a demon, but you'll do your best.

you make him listen though, you threaten to use your pact to make him remember what you say, and he promises he won't forget (he wont, he always remembers things you say). once he does that, you make it very clear that knowing about his ADHD and stuff is NOT an excuse to use to get away with things.

It's mental, yes, and it's a real physical issue you have and he might have, but it's not a tool to just have at your disposal. you use it to explain things sometimes but he can't use ADHD as a scapegoat to get away with things. if he does you will rat him out to Lucifer for things he hides from his brother and that's a very scary threat. he won't be using it as an excuse any time soon, not just because of that but because you told him and he finally understands a lot more about parts of himself.

the first time he uses that knowledge and apologizes for not being able to do his homework to Lucifer, it catches his brother off guard, but it actually works. You end up explaining to Lucifer, who says he'll try to find something to help Mammon! he's really happy and shows it with lots of happy cuddles and little gifts for you that you helped him out like that.

Leviathan

Leviathan is angry- no furious! at you! how dare you!

you promised to be in his room right after school to play the new game he bought for you both! and he waited and waited because maybe you were running late or grabbing snacks or- or maybe you got abducted and you were hurting-

but no! it was none of that! 2 hours after school ended he finds out that you were having out with Mammon!!

Levi paces as he snaps and rages, demon form out, trying not to cry and very upset! you broke his trust, you blew him off and you didn't even care enough to tell him-!

he shuts up when you cover his mouth with your hand

and Levi's pissed! he's angry! he wants to stay angry dammit! so stop looking at him so upset-

you're so sorry you forgot, you tell him, you didn't mean to. you were so excited and even Diavolo can tell you that you were so excited but then as you were leaving school Lucifer needed you to run an errand.

And a big issue you struggle with is out of sight out of mind. Once you got that errand, it took the forefront of your mind and you ended up forgetting about your guys' play date gaming session.

Levi doesn't understand, how can you forget things that important that easily?! It makes no sense

Levi, bro, honey, you sweet demon, you need to remember that you've gotten the following important things: Lucifer's birthday, going out with Asmo, a study date with Satan

You literally hadn't showered in three days when Mammon reminded you 10 MINUTES BEFORE YOU HAD TO LEAVE FOR A PHOTO SHOOT NO ONE REMINDED YOU ABOUT. Not to mention the many OTHER examples of shit you've forgotten of varying importance.

Levi was laughing by the time you were done.

He still didn't get it, but he got enough that you can't really help it and will try to be accmodating- wait! So you just need reminded!

Yup, pretty much.

Levi is proud of himself for figuring out a solution! You just laugh, bit he loves your laugh and you guys get right to gaming once he pulls you into his room. He'll just make sure in the future you won't be able to forget!

Satan

Normally Satan loves reading with you, even if its just him reading and you're doing something else, its still the same to him and he tends to love it. but now annoyance is building and he really doesn't want to but fuck!

stop tapping your foot!

his snap makes you jolt and his annoyance dies quickly. Satan apologizes and you do too, saying you'll stop.

and its ok for a few minutes

then the aggravation comes back full force as you bounce your leg

why are you fucking fidgety?!

you jump at his snarl, power leaking from him

it visibly pisses you off and Satan almost regrets it, but its so damn annoying and distracting! why can't you sit still

you can't fucking helping it, ok?! you'd stop if you could but you're not aware of it! you're just trying to focus on your stupid homework so if you're that much of an annoyance you'll just leave!

Satan immediately regrets it, he can sense your anger and frustration and stops you from grabbing your things, forcing himself to be calm.

what's wrong? he's sorry snapping and bursting like that, but can you explain why your so fidgety if he promises to be better?

you sigh but nod, sitting down and explain that figeting is something you can't help. you had ADHD, its a lot of things, but its got 'attention' and 'hyperactive' in its name on purpose.

there are different types, of course, its not all or nothing, but fidgeting comes from the hyperactive part. a bit of fidgeting helps you focus and right now you're really struggling with this Devildom history exam you're trying to study for.

Satan feels guilty and mentally promises to research more into ADHD for you, but sits down and helps you study, setting his book aside and finds that your tapping and leg bouncing isn't as annoying now that he know why you do it.

Asmodeus

Asmodeus was beyond confused as he watched you grumble and mutter about being bored but did nothing to solve that. you just laid there on the couch doing nothing.

he went over to asked if you wanted to go shopping with him, thinking that it would be perfect since you loved to go shopping with him!

nope

how about you have a spa day?

mmmmnnnnoooooo?

ooookkk- so how about you watch deviltube?

you could, but you don't want to watch anything so it would just be for him.

with every suggestion and idea, you shut Asmo down and he's just getting more and more frustrated.

well are you just going to sit here staying bored or are you going to do something about it?! because he doesn't know what you want, do you want to be bored or something?!

you sigh and sit up, looking as frustrated as he feels.

you tell him to sit down and ask if he knows what ADHD is.

Asmo had a few lovers who had it but he really doesn't know anything about it other than a few things in passing.

he listens raptly as you explain that your mind works fast on the best of days and that theres a reason its common knowledge that its hard to get someone with ADHD to pay attention.

their brains move from one thing to another trying to find serotonin, so when you don't get it from something or it stops giving you that serotonin, you want to move on to something else.

but sometimes you just can't focus on anything and everything does the opposite of what you want. thus the seemingly incurable boredom.

Asmo cant even imagine what that's like, the idea of not being entertained by what he loves (such as makeup and shopping and partying) is unfathomable! yet here you are telling him that even your favorite things can be boring sometimes!

he's nearly in tears at the fact that this is just something you're used to! he swears to find something that you enjoy right then, and despite it taking actual ages, he figures it out and is incredibly happy and proud when he figures out how to solve your boredom!

Beelzebub

Beel's been watching you all day with increasing concern, even though hes also impressed?

its the weekend so you don't have RAD, but it started because you were late to breakfast because you'd been cleaning up your room and lost track of time.

then after breakfast when he got back from the gym and was going to shower after his post workout meal, he found you cleaning the common room of stuff that had been last there the night before from the group study session.

then he heard from his brothers that Lucifer was asleep because you kicked him out of his office so you could clean in there and reorganize his desk.

then Satan came to lunch to tell them you weren't hungry and you were in his room cleaning up his books and helping making room for all of them on his shelves.

that was when Beel got worried, because you had to be hungry after all that cleaning, right? Lucifer told him not to worry, not everyone was him, after all, so he tried not to. but in the next four hours he started to watch you more.

you made Levi take a walk and got all the trash out of his room, dusted and cleaned up his booked, manga, and figurines and stuff.

you and Mammon hung out in his room, which Beel thought was fine since Mammon takes good care of you, until he found out from their group chat that you'd enlisted his help to clean his room. including all of the trash (even from his cars), dirty clothes, his bed, all the things!

then it was getting close to dinner and he waited for you to show up. you didn't, so as soon as he finished he went to find you. you were in Asmo's room talking to him as you two were in his closet talking about purging stuff and making room by reorganizing?

Beel decided he'd come back later when you were done talking to ask if you were ok, but when he did Asmo was bagging things up and said you'd left for the kitchen.

Beel was thirlled, you had to have gone to eat! he was going to ask you what you wanted but froze outside and then in the door, watching you wash the dishes since Belphie had forgotten to.

hey, uh,-

he tries not to scare you, and you turn to him asking if he needs anything.

yeah, have you eaten anything today and just not eaten with them?

the question makes you pause, and you cringe a bit.

no, sorry, i was just so focused on cleaning suddenly that you forgot.

how-how do you forget to eat?

Beels horrified at the prospect.

you laugh, but its a bit guilt. you tell him to sit down and stop doing to dishes, saying you'll explain. you get a water bottle first and he can feel it as it hits your body because your entire body reacts. you hadn't had any water either?!

Beel watches as you down that water bottle and then a second without stopping before suddenly stopping and turning to the fridge, hunger radiating off of you.

that hunger wasn't there before! what happened?!

as you dig through the fridge you tell him that you have something called ADHD, you tell Beel about it and how its not quite a deficit of attention but bad regulation of it. what you'd been doing all day was proof of that, its called hyperfocus.

Beel can't understand how you can get so focused on anything that you forget to eat or drink or even sleep (he shivers knowing how Belphie would react to finding out that you hadn't slept last night either because you'd been cleaning your room and the attic), but apparently if happens to you all the time.

hes glad that you stopped to eat as soon as you got reminded to, and he promised to watch you and make sure it doesn't happen again because you did kind of scare him (that's not good for humans, he knows that much).

you can't promise that it wont happen again, and you appreciate it, it helps a lot to have someone remind you to do stuff like that.

in other news, how much food are you making because that's a him sized snack.

you just gave him a look. you havent eaten since dinner yesterday and its nearly midnight! also, THIS IS A BIG MEAL AND ITS A YOU SNACK! YOU DON'T GET TO JUDGE!

Beel just laughs happily and tries to get his own snack.

key word being tries, you're still under orders from Lucifer to stop him and he pouts about it, but you share your food so he's ok with that.

Belphegor

Ok, Belphie knew that when he was awake could be stupid, but he was sloth and when he got enough sleep and was wide awake, it was random as hell.

But you are just ridiculous

Fucking idiotic even

He knows damn well humans need more sleep than you're getting

So why don't you tell him why you're up at 1 am after telling Lucifer you were going to go to bed early.

You freeze at Belphie in the doorway to the common room, looking thoroughly unimpressed at you gaming later than even Levi's usually up before an in person school day.

Uuhhh, you can explain?

You better, Belphie snorts. He's the master of dreams, so he knows you haven't been having nightmares. So don't even try that excuse

No, you weren't going you, you promise. You just couldn't sleep.

He doesn't believe you

Then he gets this look on his face like shock that rapidly changes to disgust

Don't tell him you have ADHD

Now you blanch. How did he guess that?!

Belphie grumbles and plops down next to you. Demons of all kinds suffer from a lot of thensame shit humans do, so even if he hated humans, he knew a stupid amount of shit from them for his own demons. ADHD sleep cycles are bullshit and he hates them, but he knows how to handle them because there are sloth demons with ADHD that he's helped

So he takds a guess to prove it sinc enow you were the skeptical one. You were sleepy and tired but as soon as you got ready for bed or got into bed, you suddenly had a random burst of energy and could sleep. (He also mentions that you don't have insomnia, he knows how that feels all too well, so it can't be the 'can't sleep' thing in that sense.)

Does it piss him off?

Yes

Is he mad to realize you have it too?

Absolutely

Are you shocked when you two end up as each other pillows anyways five minutes later, your energy suddenly slipping away from under your skin.

Is he getting rid of your energy?

Sort of, Belphie answers. He's getting rid of the excess by eating the extra. It'll keeping him awake longer, but you'll make it up to him by letting him sleep with you that night.

And if you need the sleep bad but this happens again, he makes you promise to come to him before the sleep takes over you.

Part 2

#obey me #obey me shall we date #i regret nothing #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me mc #adhd problems #adhd #and you know this sterotypical bullshit is accurate #because this is my personal bullshit #perks of having adhd #i get to give it to fictional characters #*smug cat meme face*

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